#right now my posts cannot be seen in tags and also messages and stuff is disabled for me

[mrkida-art]

PSA: I got shadowbanned

Idk how many will see this, a few of you might. My account has been shadowbanned, I don't know how long it'll last since support can be slow about these things. Anyways, hi to anyone that sees this!

Edit: WE BACK YEEEEE

[choccy-milky]

(SPOILER WARNING to people who haven't read your story) I SWEAR to GOD!!!! This is borderline anon-hate with my current state of mind after finishing The Raven and The Snake over this weekend. I finished it in two days. I'm a mess. I've even started making a playlist because I feel like I can't properly enter reality again. I'm supposed to be writing my bachelors thesis right now,,,, what have you done to me!!!!

I loved it so so so much, and I am very mad I cannot have a collectors edition hardback version of it on my shelf. There are many many moments that keep replaying in my head, and scenes that I saw so vividly when reading through it. The first imperio moment and Sebs shadow and imperio-green eyes as Clora was held captive, and the entire scene in the repository and how I was physically shaking as I slowly realised that Seb had made a fucking horcrux, and when it was CONFIRMED the GASP i GUSPED. It was so perfect, and so very Sebastian; because OF COURSE he made a horcrux (lowkey hot, sue me).

And the scene where Clive realised Seb straight up just died for his daughter without knowing he would be back, oh my dear lord.

And the idea of Seb being seen as a 'Ruffian' and that little mamas boi bitch of a Henry thinking his hand-me-down-riches, muggle ass would be preferable to a powerful wizard. I secretly wished they didn't have to keep magic a secret so Henry could have known just how inferior he was. AND SEB APPARATING SO FAR UMPH the skilllll.

I could go on and on and on, and maybe I will some other time in your inbox when I have another mental breakdown.

And now I'm also almost done with the small sequel. Just taking a break to bombard you with this unhinged message of mine. And how you draw Sebastian is so fucking good. It's actually what got me reading in the first place. I see your version as being in a completely separate universe from the game, cause the way you draw him just has that something, and it's not the same anywhere else. It certainly doesn't help my obsession that my own boyfriend has the same features and colour palette as him, now I think I might even use your art as inspo for next time we need wardrobe additions.

I love you and I hate you.

Ps. Of course I added Sarah Smiles to the playlist and also Far too young to Die, and Just One Yesterday. If you've any other songs you think match please let me knowww~~

BRUHHHHH I ALMOST FEEL NARCISSISTIC FOR POSTING/RESPONDING TO THIS ASK BC ITS JUST PRAISE BUT DAMN THANK YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭😭IM HAPPY YOU LIKED IT SO MUCH!! FORGET WRITING YOUR BACHELORS THESIS, TY FOR WRITING A THESIS ON WHY U LOVED MY FIC SO MUCH AND ALL THE LIL THINGS U ENJOYED BAHAHAHA (love the henry slander) im also glad u like how i draw seb too, and i love how thats what made u start reading it in the first place BAHAH but fr, sometimes i try drawing seb more accurately to his ACTUAL appearance and then im like... Who The Hell is this... and it may sound arrogant since im the artist but my seb is MY seb, yknow...its why i dont like drawing him with other mc's romantically. bc even tho its like, oh look, that's Sebastian Sallow™ from the hit game Hogwarts Legacy™! in my style if i draw him with another MC, its like, NO!!! THATS NOT SEBASTIAN SALLOW™, THATS CLORA'S HUSBAND🤺🤺THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BOI??🤺🤺🤺 LMAOO but rly TY AGAIN💖💖💖 not only for reading but also taking the time to write all this and let me know how much you enjoyed it🥹🥹i (and all writers, really) always love getting stuff like this!! it also brings me back to when i was writing it, especially now that ive been finished with my fic for a few months, listening to u react to all the diff scenes is making me miss it and giving me nostalgia for my own damn fic FRRR😩 also i love that youre making a playlist LMAOO thats how u know the brainrot truly has a hold on you IM SO SORRY🙏🙏 i actually made a seb and clora playlist like last year and its somewhere in my ask tag if you look through that?? but one song that i can recommend off the top of my head (which i almost made their anthem in that OTP chart) is arms tonite by mother mother...whenever i listen to it i cant help but laugh to myself bc its SO perfect for the chap where seb sacrifices himself....YOULL SEE WHEN U LISTEN😇💖

[its-a-me-mango]

BLOG Q&A

Is this blog just for SMG4 content?

Yes! This blog is just for SMG4 content! None of my other work will be on this blog, nor will any non SMG4 related reblogs be on here, this is my gay little SMG4 corner of the internet! I may sometimes talk about other things on here, such as other interests and crossovers and stuff like that, but the main focus of this blog is SMG4! I may also sometimes post about Mario in general (as I am just a big fan of Mario) but it’ll always be in an SMG4 context.

Is your blog SFW?

Yes! My blog is SFW! I try to keep my blog as 13+ as possible as I know there’s a lot of teens in this fandom and the last thing I want is for anyone to get uncomfortable with my blog. I may occasionally make jokes or references to more mature content, however I will tag these things as “Suggestive” if needed, please be sure to filter this tag if you’re not comfortable with seeing them. I will never explicitly post anything NSFW on this blog, I am just a 26 year old who still thinks sex jokes are funny.

With that in mind, I do not censor myself, I don't put symbols in words or use words that sound like what I'm saying, you don't need to do that on Tumblr and it can actually be harmful to people who do need those words filtered! I will say cunt, I will say sex, I will say porn, I won't censor myself to try and get around someone's filters at all, so please keep that in mind also.

Why do you take so long to respond to asks/messages/posts?

ADHD. I got no better answer for this, it’s all to do with energy for me and wherever my motivation is! I like to space things out on my blog whenever possible so that can sometimes lead me to have things sit around for a while with no response. Keep in mind I do have a job as well so that can get in the way sometimes. I also like to respond with art wherever possible so that also can take a while. I can assure you if I am active and posting, I have seen your ask/message/post, please be patient with me when it comes to responding!

Why have you not responded to my ask/message/post?

Oh this is easy, it’s because of one of 2 things:

ADHD, again. I’m just taking my sweet ass time with responding! As mentioned before I sometimes respond with art (mainly for suggestions) so that can sometimes take me a while to get around to!

I don’t know how to respond, I do try my best but sometimes I have nothing good to respond with, so I just don’t! I’m not a very social person either and I kinda suck at having conversations so there’s that to consider as well.

I do read/see everything that is sent in to me and I do genuinely appreciate people's interest in me and my work, please do not take it personally if I do not respond to you! You are always welcome to send me more asks/messages/posts even if I have not responded to your previous one, there’s no limit on how much can be sent to me and I love seeing recurring profiles pop up with new stuff for me!

Can people tag you in posts?

Yes you can! I cannot guarantee that I'll respond/reblog every post that I'm tagged in but I do not mind being tagged (as long as its not excessive lol). I'm very hesitant to tag people myself unless I have something for them, so much like before, don't take it personally if I don't respond to posts I'm tagged in, I'm just shyyyyy.

Why do you not follow/message people?

I am on a side blog, this is my side blog, I cannot follow or like from a side blog and I don't want to interact from my main as of right now, I don’t care if people stumble upon it I just don’t want to link it to this blog right now. It’s the same reason why I don’t like people's posts either, trust me I wish I could, but I don’t want to make a whole new Tumblr account. I am perfectly happy running things like this, even if it means I can’t interact as much as I'd like to.

How active are you here?

I check this blog every day at least, and I like to reblog/post as much as I can. As stated I have ADHD so my interests can change around and fluctuate whenever, but I do at least aim to be here once a day. If I ever go quiet for any reason, I can still be contacted easily so don’t worry about sending in anything at any point! I’ll usually say if I’m going away at all but again, ADHD, so if I go on an unscheduled hiatus, it’s just me fixating on something else, don’t be afraid to message or interact with this blog if it goes quiet, the notification will probably bring me back anyway lol.

Are you on any other platforms?

I am not on any other platforms except Tumblr, Bluesky and Twitter!

I am on DA under my main account's name where I sometimes upload my SMG4 pieces there but that is it, I have a YouTube which has nothing on it (I’ve made like one comment from it lol). I will announce here if I'm on a different platform, I am not on discord under this username and I do not willingly give it out to people.

You said something that was not so great/problematic!

Please tell me! It is never my intention to offend or upset anyone so anything of that nature is 100% by mistake, you are welcome and encouraged to reach out to me and tell me if I make a mistake like that, I will not be upset or angry! This includes telling me about people I interact with that go against my DNI, I cannot check everyone I interact with so I appreciate any heads up on that too! I’m unlikely to answer or post about it unless it feels necessary to do so, but I will read and act accordingly to any concerns people have!

You do know DNI banners don’t really work right?

I know, I cannot stop TERF’s, Proshippers, Zionists or any other scumbag from looking at my blog, the most I can do is block anyone who sets off any immediate red flags to me and move on. I do not have the time nor patients to crawl through every single follower of mine to see if they fit my DNI criteria, I will usually ignore most people who give me the ick unless they insist on interacting with me. My DNI is mainly just to state where I personally stand and to let others know I don’t associate with those groups of people.

[chronic-invisibility]

I stopped coming on here for like almost a month i think bc i added some tags onto a post i reblogged and the op called me out and said i completely misunderstood everything (except they misunderstood what i was trying to say so fuck me ig) and i got upset and dipped. In the meantime, lots of stuff has happened, but also not much.

I went back to university, the semester started last Thursday and it’s going well so far, I’m majoring in Museum Studies bc I am a big nerd, and it’s a 100% online program so I’m still working and I don’t have to like, move to Arizona, which is good.

Work is meh, we’re starting vaccine clinics again soon so I’ll be doing that again with this season’s flu and covid shots, and maybe other vaccines as well I’m not sure what the regulations are now. We still only have one pharmacist on staff so we’re stuck with a rotating cast of floaters, some of whom are more helpful than others. And the customers are still horrible, that hasn’t changed. I got yelled at for 10 minutes today by someone who’s doctor called in over a dozen prescriptions and then faxed us and cancelled all of them so we put them all back, which was a mistake apparently and then after we finally got it sorted and got them called in again, we were supposed to close in 10 minutes so it was physically impossible to fill 15 prescriptions for one person, and she wanted us to stay open late just for her, which legally we can’t do and also no, we want to go home and she was being so rude we didn’t really want to help her at all. So yeah, work is work

In good news, I’ve been talking to someone i matched with on a dating app (my intro that they messaged me about was mcr related, so you know they’re a keeper) and we’ve been on 2 dates and text a lot and we’re planning on hanging out again this Tuesday. They’re a special ed teacher and they have adhd so they get how my brain works and they work with kids whose brains work similarly to both of ours, and they’re really funny and cool and smart and nice and pretty, I really hope this keeps going well bc I really like them.

I watched the newest season of Heartstopper twice in a row after it came out, reread all the comics that are out (Alice Oseman is still publishing them, too, so that’s nice) and then rewatched both seasons in a row. It’s so cute and so good and i can feel the hyperfixation building. I’ve watched it enough that I keep slipping into a british accent when I talk, which is entirely unintentional but not the worst thing. I can also do it on purpose, but i tend to pick up accents from people I hear talk a lot, which is maybe the only fun side effect of masking my whole life

I’ve seen a few really good plays and musicals recently, I know I saw The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window before i stopped posting on here, but that was really good, and then I saw Kimberly Akimbo the other day, it was INCREDIBLE. The music and the writing are amazing, obviously, and the actors were all so good, again obviously. They won 5 Tony’s last season, including for Best Musical and Best Featured Actress in a musical and Best Lead Actress in a musical, which were so well-deserved, I seriously cannot hype this show up enough. There’s so many good shows on Broadway right now and I wish I could see them all, there were a bunch I wanted to see but closed before I got the chance, too, including Prima Facie starring Jody Comer, but I bought the script for that one.

In less fun news, I think i might need to put a read more here bc there be triggers coming

Between my chronic GI issues (trying to see a specialist about it again but there’s a whole mess of problems with that i just don’t feel like typing) and watching season 2 of Heartstopper and also rereading it and seeing Charlie struggling with his eating disorder, I’ve lapsed pretty hard with my own. I can’t really call it a relapse bc I was never really actually trying to recover, but I was trying for a while to eat a little more normally, but that’s basically out the window now. Thanks brain, so helpful of you to see a person struggling with a similar mental illness to mine and say “well they’re sicker than you so you suck and also you need to work harder at being sick like them” like FUCK OFF that’s not helpful and also Charlie is literally a fictional character and most of the storyline is about how he’s trying to get help for his ed and how awful they are, and his ed and mine aren’t the same, nor are our reasons for being disordered. So that’s not been fun.

I also realized (after watching a video by a therapist reacting to the scene when Ben assaults Charlie in Heartstopper and then going and obsessively researching legal definitions) that what happened to me in the summer of 2019 would probably be classified as a rape, not just a sexual assault. Which it also was, but what happened falls under the legal definition of rape, not just assault. So I’ve been spiraling about that, even though I still remember almost none of it and once again my garbage brain has decided that I’m somehow not allowed to be that upset or say I’m traumatized bc I don’t experience two of the most common symptoms of ptsd (flashbacks and nightmares) so clearly, this is all me being dramatic, even though basically everything else fits. And those aren’t required to be diagnosed with ptsd. Not that I WANT ptsd, but for whatever reason I feel like i’m not allowed to even say i’m a little bit traumatized by what happened bc of that. Again, stupid brain. I also realized after talking to the person I’ve been talking to (idk if we’re officially dating, maybe i should ask) about boundaries and what we’re both comfortable with, that the last person who I’ve had any “romantic” physical contact with was the person who raped me, and also the only sexual contact I’ve ever had (unless i’ve blocked out more than just the one assault I know happened) was with that same person, so now i’m extremely anxious about doing anything with the person i’m sort of maybe dating, even though neither of us are interested in just jumping right to physical intimacy, they’ve also experienced similar situations so they’re anxious about it too, and also they’re a nice person who i’d trust to not push it if i wasn’t comfortable with something, but idk how to say “i’m anxious about kissing you even though i like you and i want to kiss you bc the last person i kissed was the person who raped me over 4 years ago”

I’m working on finding a new therapist now that i’m done with my IOP and i know that’s going to be one of the (far too many) things i need to deal with in therapy, as well as all the other trauma from that summer, and from my previous university experience, and my whole fucking childhood, and also my other issues that aren’t necessarily trauma related, although most of them probably are to a certain extent bc being an undiagnosed audhd person who also doesn’t realize they’re trans until they’re an adult is inherently traumatic.

I don’t know if there’s any other big stuff I want to/feel like I need to say that’s been going on, not that anybody will probably read all or any of this. But yeah, a lot is going on, but also not much is actively going on. This was a lot longer than I thought it would be. Oops.

[ao3feed-piltovers-finest]

Hi! A while ago you made a post with some great Violyn recs, and I bookmarked and went through and loved all of them, but I didn’t do the same with some that were in progress, so could you link them again? And then also, do you have some new recs? :)) There’s so much stuff out there right now and it’s a bit hard to sift, so unbiased suggestion for something interesting and well written would be much appreciated. I don’t really care about the length as long as it’s good, in character and hopefully canon compliant? Or anything else that stands out, really. As for ratings everything is a go, just a big NO to abo (even if we put noncon issue aside, sorry but there’s only a limited amount of blowj*bs I can take in my basic lesbian p*rn, lol) or gross monster stuff unfortunately abundant these days. Also, nothing wrong with WIPs but preferably finished stories? And TYSM. For what you’re doing there, and for all the recs, past and present! <3

Hey there! :)

First of all, thank you for your kind words, and second - apologies for a relatively tardy reply (also, if you sent this message twice by mistake, the reply's to the greyface one - in case you wanted to retain anonymity, if that's okay?) since it took a bit to compile appropriate thoughts and words for a decent response. But since below the cut you'll be able to find not only links but also (unsolicited? :) reviews, I hope it'll at least give you enough of a fix - for a while?

:)

Now, let's start with...

That post, that I think you can still find under 'fic recs' section on the main page, there were two WIPs there, if I recall? One of them is still a fun read (the unpretentious, fun AU one that I think I tagged as my 'guilty pleasure' at the time?) and the other, well - despite having a really intense beginning it got convoluted and overly watered down half-way, and lost me. (So, no more recommending WIPs, yes - check. Lol.) But to answer your other question - in the meantime I read, loved, and would wholeheartedly recommend... hmm. Ok, since you basically gave me free range apart from the omgaverse (for which - no worries, I don't care for it either, I've seen dozens of them passing over this page, but only one well-written, with an actual interesting plot and character dynamics - but a WIP, so we might go back to that one at some later point? ;) the ONLY criteria now I guess would be...

The works of some new and/or underrated authors? How's that, to fulfill the primary intent of this blog, which is to promote and/or send appreciation to those who really truly deserve it?

So, yeah. In no particular order, here are some of my recent faves:

Digging Like You Can Bury Something That Cannot Die series by shoutoutout

@shoutoutout

Canon compliant, a study on guilt, loss and acceptance. A truly gripping study, a recontextualization if you will (expanding the context span, filling in gaps) with emphasis on that residual emptiness that one never truly accepts, just learns how to live with. The way in which Vi is given facing, then coping with all of it in such a simply human, fight or flight way - is incredibly relatable. While the first part written from Cait's perspective gives a unique insight into her upbringing, her heritage, her relationship with her mother (which, perhaps it's just me - but I love seeing it explored beyond what we've seen onscreen, especially with that last scene, where it's evident that no matter how much she disagrees with her mum she still looks to her for comfort when she is despair) and then of course - grief flooded with regret. Really masterfully written.

Grenadier by antistar_e (kaikamahine)

@kaikamahine

Set post-finale, this is basically a character dynamics piece, written from Vi's perspective. It's a gentle, at times funny and yet gritty and profound exploration of regret, mourning and unhealthy coping mechanisms - on everyone's behalf, with developments between Vi, Cait and Jinx (yes, all three of them - but don't let this deter you just because Jinx has absolutely no boundaries ;) this is uniquely beautiful portrayal of sisterly relationship. The simple way Vi explains her love for Jinx will break your heart, because she loves her despite everything, the guilt, lack of remorse - it's the love that doesn't preclude justice or exempt her from consequences, but just grows, adapts, restitches its seams. It has elements of romantic developments (in different directions?) but the central part is the sisters, and to be completely frank it's the best fic I've ever read exploring these dynamics, post finale. Both characterisation as well as style wise.

Drink from the Cup of Fortune by xanthinriff

@xanthinriff

'Does happiness bloom from the soil of pain, or is pain a byproduct of happiness lost?' If you've ever read anything else written by this author, you'll know that their writing simply cannot be summarized, objectively or rationally. And this one is not an exception, it is post finale, post everything and beyond, and it gives us Vi's perspective on - grief, guilt, need to belong, the feeling of loss, helplessness, selfishness, mental self-flagellation... gosh, I've said it before and I'll say it again, xanthinriff has a uniquely, gut-wrenching writing style that packs a punch - undaunted to tackle even the most complex, or darkest of emotions so it's definitely not for those who want a sappy, trite emotional lemonade. But rather real raw human emotions, such as... well, those listed above?

Now, the author has deleted their A03 account for personal reasons, but this specific work is still available per request, exclusively here (author's prerogative, of course) so if what you read there got you intrigued - send us a DM and we shall deliver.

(This is also valid for some of their other work, previously referenced and recommended on this page)

sweet & bitter by garcondencre

@garcondencre

Canon compliant. An exploration of what happened between the moment Caitlyn and Vi found themselves alone in Cait's bedroom and the moment they left each other in the rain. A beautifully heartfelt character study, a train of thought from Vi's perspective, if you will. Characterization is spot on, emotions are intense and tangible, and the inner conflict fleshed out so viscerally, painfully well.

The Power of a Name by kendricked

@caitkirammans

One of those 'five times' prompts, written from Caitlyn's perspective. A very interesting take on how she viewed things that happened, and then those that [spoiler]. It contains some missing bits, or interludes, if you will. They speaks volumes on Caitlyn herself, seamlessly showing that cross between that naivetee and genuine selflessness - and also how she saw, and sees Vi. Emotional intensification written and depicted at its best.

keep your head low by espressbian

@espressbian

Canon compliant. An amazing dive into Caitlyn's mind (ok, I guess Vi’s as well - in the second chapter?) showing us their respective perspectives on things that happened - through this very skillfully written inner dialogue, depicting the inner workings of both of their minds, but especially Caitlyn's... I found it gripping, touching and impressively intense all at the same time.

no powder but stardust by softnyx

(tumblr unknown - let us know, if you do?)

I think I already mentioned this one? It's a one-shot, but is contained of eight episodes with time gaps, featuring snippets of scenes from different, not-so-random periods. Starts with that beautiful childish pure innocence and veers off into... well, two diverse worlds, a canon divergence AU (star-crossed lovers of sorts, comes to mind) that grows close to the one of game canon-world? The characterisation is endearingly tangible and wholesome, and it is absolutely amazing what a skillful author can do in such little space and with so few words.

Wrap ya gun in giftwrap by Latenightsgunfights

@latenightsgunfights

This is quite a short piece, basically just smutty. Why on this list, you might wonder? Well, the way it shows Vi struggling between how she sees herself, the subtly shown conflict between the tough front and bravado and how she feels about herself in regards to Caitlyn, how it manifests in their physical connection - the implication how certain feelings can be put into submission... it's quite a lot (yeah, no one's immune to hot smutty ones, but I prefer them with some substance, alright? ;) for a short piece with barely 1k of a wordcount.

Chances by mira_blue

@mira-blue

To be completely honest, this is not really CaitVi (they're just acknowledged in the passing) but rather a canon-compliant take on Vi's complicated relationship with her sister, post S1. (Yeah, I've been kinda leaning towards those, recently - can you tell? :) Pieces like this, exploring this kind of dynamics of theirs are quite rare, and this one may seem like just a drabble - but try to get into Jinx's fragmented stream of consciousness. It's uncomfortable, realistic and tangible, all at once. I've seen very few well-written ones and this one is my absolute favourite one.

Shadow of Nothing by UmbreonGurl

@umbreongurl

Quite sure you've read some of the other works of this author as well, but this one is a bit different from all of their other (AU? fluffy? comedy? romcom?) work, and a bit underrated in my opinion. In a span of a single chapter it covers literally everything, from the prison break till post finale - while at the same time being a character study of Cait. It's simple, unpretentious, with effective time lapses, and an interestingly different, more realistic view of Vi - as it makes more sense that she'd be more distrustful, standoffish and defensive to start with in the beginning. But it's a quite fresh and intimate take on Cait, and it's not that angsty (like the rest of the stuff from this list), so...

Dust Collected OnMy Pinned-Up Hair by tailoredjade

@tailoredjade

Ok, there are so many high-school AUs out there, but there's just that something about the pacing of this one. It covers a longer timespan, with smaller/larger gaps and ellipses, but the way it captures the yearning and pining is incredibly palpable. It's friends-to-lovers, but in a way also a compelling character piece that captures Cat's inner workings (exasperation? anxiety?) rather well. Quite interestingly written (in terms of sentence structure, or how it follows the character's thought-process) it's a fittingly positive one, for the end of this list?

:)

Aaand - that'd be all.

As always, if you enjoy any of these (and even if they're not really new for you - and you already had, lol) go drop these lovely people out there a positive note, some appreciation and encouragement - and then let us know as well.

Cheers! 🌈💖

[delicate-moon-princess]

More About Me

Hi there! I’m Princess and I wanted to take a moment to tell you some more about me and my writing. Thank you for all the support you have shown my work, I’m glad you enjoyed my writing. ❤️🥺 Anyways, I will let you all get to know me a little bit better:

All my work is going to be 18+! This is an 18+ blog. Minors DNI!

Currently, I’m writing only for Henry Cavill and his characters. I have seen The Witcher, Enola Holmes, Sandcastle, Mission Impossible: Fallout, Night Hunter, and The Man from U.N.C.L.E. So, I can confidently write for Geralt, Sherlock, Sy, August, Walter and Napoleon. I’m not opposed to writing for his other characters. They just might be a little OOC. I have a long weekend coming up soon, and I plan on binge watching as many Henry Cavill movies and shows as I can on my days off. 😂

For now, all of my work will be reader insert. I just have so much fun writing these kinds of fics, it's so immersive. I like to keep the reader as inclusive as possible, but I feel the most comfortable writing fem!reader. I don't have much practice writing in the mindset of another gender. And I don't want to offend anyone by trying to do so.

So, I’m new to the whole Tumblr writing scene. I’m trying to learn how to better organize my page, with tags and such. You’ll have to bear with me as I learn the ins and outs of owning a writing blog. It might be a little messy for a while lol. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

I plan on making a masterlist when I compile a bit more work. I only have two fics as of now.

Many of you have asked for a continuation of my oneshot “The Night of Many Firsts”. I have a few ideas on how to continue with this fic. My plan is to write more oneshots centered around Sy and Darlin’. (that’s what I’m calling them now). I would love to write about even more firsts they tackle together. Just need to get my mind flowing with ideas.

Speaking of ideas- prompts, requests, etc. are now open! Please send me messages and asks, I’m so lonely lol. Flood my inbox with your beautiful minds. I will gladly be your muse.

I only have few limits right now: No gore, underage, or incest. I might discover more of my limits the more I write. For real though, I have some pretty strange kinks so don’t be afraid of weirding me out hehe.

Some of my plans for writing include dark fics, ddlg, abdl, non-con, and overall just some kinky stuff. If any of these will make you uncomfortable, please let me know if you want to be removed from my taglist. I can also just not tag you if I post fics like these. Rest assured, all of my work will include the appropriate warnings.

And last but not least, I really want to pour my heart and soul into my fics. That being said, I’m doing this for fun. I still have a job and schooling to get through, so I cannot guarantee when I will post more work. And also, I’m a perfectionist. So it takes me a long time to convince myself my writing is good enough to post. I’ll try and take some time everyday to just interact with you all. Your kind words have touched my heart. Thank you so much, I hope you all have a wonderful day/night! 💖

Taglist: @pandaxnienke @sunshine-with-daisy @leigh70 @islacharlotte

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

i've been slowly and methodically making my way through all of your fics (it wouldn't be right if i didn't. you're carrying the rachel and dick tag on your BACK). and for a while i thought the first in the purification series was my all time favourite (body failing, a mindfight, its all i ever wanted)

but last night. at 1am, i started wicked game, and it took me SIX HOURS to finish it. and that i did. 7 in the fucking morning and i am at a loss for words. it's brilliant. it's got all the things i like- ballet, trauma, core four. i genuinely cannot applaud you enough.

i was wondering how you felt about people (with credit, of course), taking inspiration from your fics, writing sequels or missing scenes and such? of course, i know that a lot of people really don't like that kind of stuff, so it's absolutely alright if you don't. it was just a thought i had.

basically, long story short, i've had your ao3 notifications on for months. i wake up to an email and i fucking sprint. it's incredible. thank you

Listen, in times when I'm struggling for inspiration because I haven't seen any new Dick and Rachel scenes in so long, messages like this are literally a blessing sent from heaven.

First of all, I teared up reading this, THANK YOU. It's so good to know there are people out there, people like me who absolutely cannot live without this father-daughter duo. Many times, especially in recent months, I was struggling with writing about them because I felt like I was talking to a wall - everybody is so focused on Dickkory (a ship I love with my whole heart but it's not my main focus) that I'm just sitting here in my little corner, hoping someone stops by, you know? So for you to come in and say "I got notifications on you for months, you post, I sprint" means the absolute world to me. I want to give you the biggest hug. It really built me up after feeling down for so long.

Now. Wicked Game - an experience of a lifetime I get to share with my super talented bestie @wonderbatwayne and I could have never done this without her, so I can't take all the credit. I just had a tiny idea and she helped me shape it into something beautiful. I've grown as a writer because of her and learned a whole lot. I will never forget it. In case you haven't checked them out yet (but I have a feeling you did), she has some amazing Dick&Rach stories in her arsenal as well, things I am religiously rereading over and over. "Raise a Little Hell", "Fear Makes Companions Of Us All" or "All Doors Lead to Home" are some of my absolute favorites!

Fun WG fact: just last week I got a tattoo in honor of this story - Let's see if we can fly on my arm.

Also, I have to acknowledge this because you blew my mind. Over 260k words and you finished it all in ONE NIGHT?!? Mad respect for you, that's dedication!!!!

I have nothing against people taking inspiration from my fics, especially this one and I'm sure my friend doesn't mind either when it comes to WG. We're planning an official sequel, got some ideas thrown together but it's currently sitting on a shelf as we both got other things going on and we're taking it slow this time. And I think this is you subtly trying to ask for permission to get creative with it and let me tell you: you have it. It would be the greatest honor to see what you (and possibly, hopefully others) can do with what I created, how can you take it further.

You say I'm carrying Dick & Rachel tag on my back but I wouldn't be able to do this without you and everyone who reads my fics. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means everything. With season 4 just around the corner and a really strong possibility of getting some beautiful, amazing moments from these two I'm sure the inspiration will come. And if you ever want to scream about these moments with someone and spread the love, just slide into the chat so we can scream together!!!!

[captainkirbypunch]

My love has left tumblr once again.

As many of you may know, the account under the name MDZADR, has left tumblr. They felt unsafe in their fandom, and as such have deleted their tumblr and AO3 account due to the bad memories linked to them.

As a part of their departure, they have asked me to post something in their name, as follows.

If you want more details about how I came to this realization, continue to read. If not, here is your summary:

TL;DR: For the safety and health of this fandom, I wanted to spread the word that Mooping-10 is filled with people who absolutely cannot be trusted, creating a very hazardous environment for the zadr community, and MelodyoftheVoid is connected to all of those people, living a double life amongst those of us that don’t “ship zadr correctly.” She has plenty of friends her inner circle knows nothing about, and nobody on either side knows who she really is. 

Full story below.

I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. Nobody did anything to me today, but this just wasn’t worth it.

My AO3 and tumblr are both gone. I didn’t say goodbye because I didn’t want to look like an attention seeker.

Here’s the thing. I wasn’t going to name drop, but you guys need to know the truth. I’m instructing my boyfriend (hi y’all) to turn asks off for his own safety after this because this is going to be a nightmare, but... allow me to tell you the full story. I’ll try to break up the text so it’s less difficult to read, but this is important. I’m sorry to air discourse so publicly, but please... I need you to listen to me.

I’ll start from the beginning, without being vague anymore about who “she” is. I request that you please read the whole thing and not skip parts of it. The whole story matters.

I finally returned to the fandom about two months or so ago. As I’ve mentioned, I don’t do well in my thoughts while left alone too long, so I posted saying I would stop messaging people I knew because I didn’t want to bother them. There were only two people I was talking to at the time, but one of them is famous so I didn’t want to message her directly saying that. Doing so would have put her in a position of feeling obligated to say “you’re not bothering me” rather than just simply being able to sigh with relief from no longer being contacted. 

But the first person to contact me was the famous person, and she asked if I was okay, and told me she liked talking to me.

God, I actually cried.

But, that’s just her. Melodyofthevoid is the type of person to talk to people in the fandom, totally unaware of her demigod status. She comments on stories, interacts on posts, messages first... a pillar of kindness, so it seemed.

But let the story continue.

Over time, we were talking more often. 

Mostly sending memes (cause everyone I knew, myself included, aren’t exactly great at holding conversations. No shade. Memes are a love language). I was still in the hero worship stage of our relationship, so my view of her was that that was perfect.

Now, let me bridge a connection with a new story idea I got around December 28th or so, and my thinking she was perfect.

I had recently finished watching Madoka and questioned “If I had magical powers, what would they be?” It then turned into its own story idea, basing creators’ powers around the strengths and weaknesses in creations. I actually realized “oh fuck. My stuff is incoherent. My friends’ works aren’t too different...”

Thus spawned the name “Incoherent” for the project.

What does that have to do with this? Well, here’s the thing that really fucked everything up quickly. 

This was not on purpose, because originally the project (which I had told nobody of yet at the time) was all about improving your works, making platonic friends, dressing our personas in cute outfits, and writing fun magic.

While listening to music and thinking of the story one day, my brain accidentally shipped my persona with hers, and I couldn’t unsee it. And I’m lousy at keeping my own secrets (other’s are different) so she found out on probably day one or two about my weird crush because of an ask meme of all things. 

She didn’t try to put me off any, which was another problem for future things to come, and so I decided that since Incoherent was finally making me feel alive again and feeling the euphoric feelings of love wouldn’t hurt anything (I figured they’d mellow out on their own eventually because that’s how infatuation works) since they helped fuel my inspiration, and then we would just continue from friends to better friends one day and this part of our lives would be over.

Besides, the forbidden is attractive somehow, and makes stories more entertaining. She’s aro/ace, so I had no chance anyway. Someone safe to crush on, in her own way.

This isn’t a story of a love betrayal however. There was no such thing. But it’s important to the story because Incoherent is where my mistakes were made, and hers brought to light.

By this time, I had a handful of people I was talking to, and I created a discord server for the project. Only my boyfriend (hi!) and I were in it at the time. I was not-so-subtly asking my friends what they’d look like if they were a magical person, what their names would be... I thought I would have had to lure Melody in to make her want to join us, but I managed to get her in very easily. Everyone was happy and excited! It was a no obligation, no time limit thing for us to enjoy, a little sandbox to play around in. 

Sure there were plans to make it bigger and I was working on art to the best of my ability, but it was gonna be a fun thing mostly. No pressure on anyone.

And how things started becoming a problem was that the rest of us posted publicly about the project and interacted with each other’s posts relating to the story, but she had started to interact publicly less and less with our things, and everyone noticed it.

It wasn’t because we were greedy and wanted the popular girl to reblog our things. It’s because we had a feeling she was ashamed of being seen publicly with us. The reason we were worried before then and started making that connection was because I mentioned I was going to ask another user if they were interested in joining Incoherent. Melody was the only one that seemed uncomfortable, and I messaged her asking about it. We agreed I wouldn’t invite that person but I knew things were off about it.

That person is like me. How long until Melody didn’t want to talk to me anymore? A few days ago, the other shoe finally dropped. A member of our little group and I were talking and (let’s call them Friend for simplicity. They asked to not be name dropped here) Friend was worried they had made Melody upset by tagging her in a meme picture they drew of her persona, and the two had agreed that Friend remove the tag. This spawned an anxiety-filled conversation where Friend and I expressed our concerns about Melody not interacting with the project, or us.

So since I wanted reassurance that that wasn’t the case, I messaged Melody with my concerns. I told her I had the feeling she was ashamed of being seen in public with us because of her friends, and she didn’t refute me. She simply told me to go get some rest. I messaged back with “I’m right.”

I deleted Discord off my phone for hours and nearly deleted my Tumblr, AO3, and the server after my boyfriend helped pass messages between us. Melody confessed that was the case because her friends expressed discomfort with my works, and she was playing both sides.

Her words, not mine.

Melody told me she would be withdrawing from the Incoherent project because it wasn’t fair to us if her heart wasn’t in it.

She didn’t stand up on my behalf when they said things about me. Her friends are the type who talk behind creators’ backs for shipping zadr “incorrectly.” Worse than antis because they actually participate in the “pro-shipping” side of the fandom. I broke that day and messaged her at 3 am.

We finally spoke at 3pm. We both missed each other. I tried to understand more. I wanted it to be more like a conversation rather than an interrogation. It was only one-sided however, and she never opened up further. And I made some mistakes and poor choices of words, and we ended up parting ways permanently right there. 

I nearly deleted everything, but much like a coma patient attached to many machines on a hospital bed, my blog was kept alive a little longer by people sending kind words in droves. I was briefly fuelled by spite, wishing to watch the world burn by making everyone on the "correct" side of the fandom upset by posting the worst, most vile content this fandom has ever seen.

I was also welcomed with open arms by a very kind server with fellow degenerates, all of them screaming and crying and partying when they managed to get me in their server. It was so heartwarming...

But as I spoke to others about my situation, I realized something. A disturbing pattern.

People telling me horror stories about how Mooping-10 was cult-like. How the people running it were antis. I was even told once that they have a secondary server where they go to have their talks and do their work, likely the place where the real bashing is held.

The server itself has rules against such behavior, but I suppose it's different when they do it.

One person (and this is the most unnerving part for me, personally) told me Melody actually set off alarm bells in their head without having even done anything yet, and the most disturbing part of the story was that one of the moderators was afraid and upset because they got Covid, and received basically no moral support at all. Only getting told "spoiler that. Sorry you got Covid".

I was horrified. That server has 100 people in it. How many of them are the same? They act like popular kids in school who picked up an unpopular main character and then bash others, and the main character joined in because they don't want to be left behind by their new "friends".

To put it short, back to my point:

TL;DR: I simply only wanted to spread the word that: Mooping-10 is filled with people who absolutely cannot be trusted, creating a very hazardous environment for the zadr community, and Melodyofthevoid is connected to all of those people, living a double life amongst those of us that don't "ship zadr correctly". She has plenty of friends her inner circle knows nothing about, and nobody on either side knows who she really is.

[taeslovehandles]

I never meant to target you and I'm sorry you felt that way. You properly tag everything and adhere to the "don't like, don't read" rule. I don't follow you nor you follow, because we simply don't vibe together and that's okay.

But there are posts that are on the more "innocent" side that do represent fat people as a joke and it's like they don't even realize it because it's something so well ingrained in our fatphobic society.

For example, all the characters are having fun except the fat one or referring to someone as "twice his size" (like... If they want to say he's huge, they should just say it, not imply that there's a "right size" for someone to be).

I don't think authors should censor themselves, just acknowledge the role they play in how fat characters are perceived by the community they write for.

-🍓

First of all, since you obviously haven’t blocked me, you could have come to me via direct message. This is not a topic that needs to be brought out into the public eye even more than it already is. I have worked with anons before, I would have been the last person to reveal who you are. You could have made a trash account to message me in dm’s, but since you didn’t, I will reply to you here.

I want to make one thing clear. This will be my last response on the topic. If you do not like me as a member of the community please use the block button and filter me out, because I will stay. I have many friends here, and know that many people enjoy my content. Just because a small handful of people don’t appreciate dark themes in fiction, the contents of which they can easily protect themselves from, won’t make me falter.

Now, I want to debunk this ask because your ‘apology’ actually made me very upset.

I know you don’t mean it when you say you are sorry because you’re backpedaling on what you’ve told your friends and it really rubs me the wrong way. You could have owned up to your mistakes and apologized sincerely like others had but you continue to play victim and excuse your behaviour with tales of your own trauma, projecting your own insecurities onto my blog and thus hating me.

I know for a fact that you despise my blog, especially my writing, because you do not like how “obviously skinny people write about weight gain.”

Honey.

I couldn’t be any further from skinny.

I don’t mind sharing my actual weight, which has actually gotten worse due to COVID. I weigh 490lbs. I am morbidly obese. I have always been morbidly obese. For you to come and be “nitpicky” about a genre you don’t even enjoy? Why are you even reading my fics then?

The way I write about obese people, their struggles with literally everything… that comes from real life experience. I write this to share embarrassing and exhausting daily life tasks I personally struggle with.

A skinny person would never write some of the stuff I do, because they simply don’t know. They don’t know how scary it is to hear the line “we are going to a restaurant.” They don’t know how scary it is to go into that new restaurant, scan the chairs and think “Shit, am I gonna fit? Is the chair gonna creak? Is there enough space for the next table? What if I won’t fit?” A thin person doesn’t have to think this way.

And, let me tell you something else. Yes, I agree. The world is fatphobic.

In one of my recent posts I talked about movies and shows where they make fun of fat people because I hate it. Because it is REAL LIFE. And I am all for the body positivity movement and I do believe that all bodies are beautiful, because they are.

You do not know me personally.

And that leads to my next point. If you personally have issues with the phrase “twice my size”, then that is on you. And guess what? I cannot count how often I’ve heard lines like that my whole life.

“Oh wow two people would fit in one of your pant legs.”

“Wow, you are so fat, I could use your pants as a tent.”

So trust me, I know. I KNOW. But anon, this is the important part for me. Everyone processes trauma differently.

Inked ch3? Or literally any story I have written with a fat character being forced, insulted and talked down to like they’re dumb? That’s what I have been living with my entire life. Most of these stories, some obviously more extreme than how I had experienced them since it’s fiction, have been recordings of trauma I have went through.

My own dad force fed me. Forced me to eat food and gain weight. My first boyfriend was a feeder that manipulated me into gaining more weight and took measurements. Called me pig names and abused me. Hit me, manipulated me into having s** with him and then let all of his fantasies out on me.

I don’t make this shit up. I hate my brain for being so twisted now, that I actually find it hot and arousing. It’s weird. I know, but that’s how it is.

I’ve also never had friends in school. Not even kindergarten. Why? Because my “fat incased body could spread like a virus.” I was being bullied like JK was in Pondus.

I had hot water thrown at me, got glue put on my seats and hair, had my hair ripped out and even got a cigarette burn mark on my arm. Just because I was fat. Just because of how my body was shaped.

I was strangled and locked into a small locker for a night. I was almost killed for running away from my abusive dad from his car and had to listen to things like, “You are going to die when you are 30. No one will ever love you and your body.” That I have trust issues now and am paranoid about everything and everyone.

Those dark stories. I use those dark stories to try to work through my trauma. And yes, it may be absurd to you. It may disgust you, what I write. But sadly, most of it? Most of it really happened to me. To me and other people I’ve talked to as a friend or seen online. Most of what I write will be dark because the human species is made up of terrible creatures.

Fatphobia is an important topic, and I am happy the media has been slowly getting better about it, that people accept us more. But my writing is how I work with my trauma. If I can make fictional characters feel the same things I had to feel, that makes me feel better.

And I’m not hurting anyone with it. So how is it wrong?

I do not support any of this behaviour in real life. I never bullied anyone, I always try to speak up for my friends and tell people if they are being assholes. Because I hate them too and it makes me angry when good people get shit when they do nothing but breathe.

And how @pudgecuddles already said. I don't need you to advocate for body positivity and all that shit when you go out of your way to bully someone that may have experienced the same shit you have. I do not know you or what you went through in your life, but I am sorry. I’m sorry you feel like my stories aren’t okay to write, but this is how I work on my trauma and I need you to respect that.

I’ve said this before. We don’t have to be friends, or even talk to each other.

Just be neutral.

Block me. Filter me out. Pretend I don't exist. But, whatever you do, don’t make posts that call me out while making it obvious you’re talking about me, with the cover that you are advocating against fatphobia. That’s got a name. Cyber-bullying.

Have you hurt me with those posts? Yes you have, but I’ve never wanted bad blood. As you may have noticed, it wasn’t me that made a post. It was my good friend. Because I told her how exhausting it was and she knew about the posts back then.

I have a good idea of who you are.

I remember you.

But I kept my mouth shut. Because this community is my home and the last thing I wanted was for the people who like both of our types of content to feel like they have to choose sides.

In the end, we all rub one out to fat gay boys in a band. No user is better than the rest, and if there are topics you do not enjoy, there is a button for it. No need to drag everyone into it with posts. It’s exhausting and irritating.

Now, I do not accept your apology because you lied to me and I also do not feel like you meant it sincerely knowing what I know now after reading some dm’s. But I also won’t sit here and start shit.

This is my last post about this.

Please block me and enjoy the content you do like.

Nonetheless, I hope you have a nice day and a lovely weekend. Whatever you are experiencing or going through, I hope it gets better. Because even if you hate me personally for creating content you do not support, I’d say that I am a really friendly and nice person.

I do not believe that anyone deserves to be bullied like that and talked down in official posts. It happened before with a friend of mine and you probably remember that I did speak up about it.... But apparently no one learned from it. I really hope this time you do.

Insult me and shit talk me all you want in dm’s, but don’t do it publicly. No one deserves that kind of hate or passive aggressiveness. No one. Since you sound like someone that went through a lot of shit too, you should know better. You should know how it feels to be bullied and what damage it can cause.

I’m already depressed enough and I have bad lows. Let me write my erotica and just enjoy it? That’s all I want? I am a part of this community just like you were. You leaving because you did not like my content, is not my problem. If you cannot block me or ignore it and go so far as to read them and then rant about them negatively, what do you want me to do? I won’t leave the scene just because you don’t like me.

So, you either trash talk me in dm’s from now on so that I do not see it, or you block me. The latter of which would be the more mature thing to do. The more humane thing to do. Because talking behind someone’s back is just as bad.

Again, I don’t know why you felt like it was necessary to send me an ask with lies in it when I got screenshot proof of something else you have said/issues with, so don’t backpedal on me. I know Hun. I know already.

At least stick to what you said and actually apologize or, if you can’t, just block me.

But this ask? This ask just upset me.

Have a nice day.

p.s: The fact that this even needs to be talked about is so absurd and ridiculous to me. The whole thing is a petty party in my eyes that isn't even worth anyone's time? Do people on here really not have any other issues right now or am I in the wrong movie?

[ericcartmn]

Y'know, after feeling low and overwhelmed for so long, I'm in a pretty good mood right now, and I figured I'd spread some of that positivity, just in case you've been feeling crappy too.

Let's start off with the day I met you.

It was Christmas break 2018. I hadn't got my blog just yet (that was Feb. 2019), so I was just a little helpless anonymous exploring the Eric Cartman tag on tumblr.

Then, I stumbled across your blog.

It literally changed my life.

I always thought I was weird for liking Cartman the way I did, overthinking every characteristic about him, and just in general fanboying (not in that way ofc, A:not gay, B:hes 10 lmfao) over someone who I originally when I started watching had a hatred for.

But you helped me realize that it's not so weird.

I had the courage to send my first anonymous ask.

The ask that started it all.

It's crazy to think had I not sent that, we wouldn't have started this friendship, and maybe I wouldn't be here on this site to this very day.

This friendship was the best Christmas gift I could've ever asked for.

We would communicate through anonymous asks, and lots of other things.

Then the day came in 2019 that I finally got my blog.

I quickly rushed to your blog, and sent my first message, and followed you instantly.

I followed a few other Cartman/SP blogs I came across too.

These past three years of our friendship have been so amazing.

Always getting off a boring and long day at school, but opening up my phone, and almost always seeing

"Ericcartmn just reblogged a post"

"Ericcartmn just posted a post"

Seeing that in my push notifications always brought a smile to my face.

And always seeing in my notes when I posted a new SP fic or fanart, that you reblogged it.

Seeing when a new episode would air, even after I quit watching, I loved seeing your opinions on the episode. I knew what was happening in the show simply because of your posts (and the wiki)

I love talking about politics with you, even if it isn't a common topic, it was always amazing.

I remember when the George Floyd situation happened last year, and you and I chatted about it for hours.

When the Capital Hill riots happened in January, while watching the news, I instantly messaged you, and I live chatted everything I saw, and that was huge.

When I first got into Modern Family, talking about that was memorable, even if you hadn't really seen much of it at all.

Talking about our lives, and the stresses of it.

I always loved hearing about your job, and talking about school.

Everything about this friendship has been nothing short of amazing.

You were the first online friend I ever met here on this hellsite, and it doesn't matter if we've never met in person, you've always been a real friend to me.

If you ever need someone to chat with, don't be afraid to shoot me a message.

Love you Jas,

-Zach/Killer

I literally cannot believe u remember how we met bro, I have the shittiest memory in the world!! But it means a lot that you went through all the trouble to talk to me, even on anon. GOD its so embarrassing how cringe i was back then (even now tbh lets be real lmao) But you stuck around and u def didnt have to. Thanks for always being here and liking, rbing, or even commenting on my stuff, esp my art. Id feel so low and then BOOM see a notification on my art blog from u, and im so bad at conveying my emotions, but i really do appreciate it. I hope things with you start to get easier, i know life can really suck, but it gets easier eventually, trust me im old as hell LOL

i know im always on and off and with my billion of sideblogs, i suck at checking my messages, but if u ever wanna chat u know where to find me :)

ALSO the fact that u use to have my notifications on.... RIP to your notifications lmaooo u a real one

[shark-myths]

Fic Writer Review

thanks for the tag, @setting-in-a-honeymoon !

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60! which is a lot, and also doesn’t include the fics i orphaned from an old fandom (a controversial decision to me, by me)

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

867,941

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

so many throughout history, and some i’m sure i’ve forgotten. and yes, i’ve been writing RPF since age 13 and am developmentally stunted as a result. smallville, x-men, lotr, afi, fall out boy, battlestar galactica, mcu, iron man, marina del rey, mcr, star trek, supernatural, p!atd, and now the latest blessed sinkhole, cobra kai.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Stranger Danger

From Russia With Love

The Difference Between Real Love and the Love On TV

Boys Next Door/Assholes

Jet Black Crow

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

oh, I really mean to, i swear. but I have 340 in my inbox that I haven’t responded to. I appreciate my kind and supportive reviewers so much! I just don’t have a lot of time or energy, and I usually choose reading or writing with my time instead of responding to messages. your comments are a gift and I love receiving them so much!!!

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

lol in the olden days, I once ended a fic with a surprise suicide, because i was a cruel and mercurial child. all my fob fics have happy endings though! the fic I have online right now that gets the most ‘wtf is this ending’ feedback is the unreliable narrator ghost story, the ending of which is either happy or REAL SAD, depending on how you interpret is, is Baby You’re A Haunted House

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i don’t write crossovers per se but I love a good universe smash. the wildest one I’ve done is my beauty and the beast/coyote ugly peterick remix.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

god yes, i started writing fic in 2003 and i cannot stress enough how different fandom was back then

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

absolutely I do, lots of emotional intensity but also good old fashioned fucking

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

a million years ago on deviantart

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! it is the biggest compliment ever, you guys are too good to me

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

hahahahaha @carbonbased000

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

hard question! rpf is my favorite thing to write because I love making transformations within set biographical constraints, it is by far my favorite way to be creative, but there are so many ships with interesting dynamics. i’m true blue for peterick but i also love fic with older characters who are all gritty and wounded navigating overt and internalized homophobia, and girl ships are the stuff of life. some of my favorite ships I never write for (for example, kirk/spock or various lotr pairings) because like. I have absolutely nothing to add, it’s already perfect. lawrusso is my favorite of the moment because cobra kai is an absolutely WILD show, it’s a blast

14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

UGH my ageswap peterick about Patrick letting everyone down again and again and again. literally I’ve been working on this fic for 5 years and only have like one scene left to write but it’s become a goddamn albatross around my neck

15. What are your writing strengths?

I’m funny and I use pretty words, and the fact that I want good things for all my characters shines through

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

will you laugh if I say plot? I am terrible at plots. almost all of my fics are just situations and how people react to them emotionally. the other thing is spatial descriptions, I can’t picture things in my head so i am wildly inconsistent and often just forget to add these in. oh, and I also get so lost in the dreamy emotional bits of people’s inner experiences that I lose my own narrative thread over and over and over again.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love it if you’re a student of the language, bilingual, or get someone who is fluent to beta that shit for you. if you don’t have the skillset or resources to do it right, there’s a real risk of cultural appropriation and fetishizing someone’s foreignness, so I’d steer clear. there’s the question of what it adds to the experience of the fic, as a reader or a writer, that has to be considered

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

afi rpf, and I dead-ass thought I’d invented it. you shoulda seen my brain explode when i discovered an entire archive just for that.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I’ve reached a level of pride in my skill that I love most of the fics I finish—if I don’t, I tend not to finish or post! so I’m usually enamored with my most recent stories and have a deep appreciation for most of my gallery. but I do literally have a girl out boy tattoo and that universe (and how my amazing readers participated in building it with me) will always be the most personally important to me, regardless of whether its technical merit is outstripped by newer works

i tag--who wants to do this tag? @leyley09 @sir-transcelot @alienfuckeronmain @carbonbased000 @allkindsofplatinumandpercocet @rhea-imagined @all my other lovelies who feel like doing writing reflection as a means of procrastinating actual writing

[timothyslucy]

Hi, Carly! First of all, your 'this is scarily' tag brings me so much joy every time I see it because it's so funny. Secondly, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now. I've been in my own version of that spot quite often and I know it stinks, especially when suddenly you can't think of anything to watch and it kind of feels like the world is ending. Usually at that point I put on something I know so well I don't need to actually watch it (usually Star Wars for me but movies you loved as a kid also work great), download a bunch of games on my phone, and get some ice cubes or an ice pack of some sort. Then it's a matter of putting the movie/TV show on a TV or laptop and letting it play while doing other stuff on your phone. When everything gets to be too much, hold an ice cube until it melts. It's good for helping center you and bringing you back to your body. If that doesn't work, I like to take pens or markers and write every bad thought in my head on myself (preferably somewhere clothes will cover in case you can't force yourself to shower or it doesn't come off properly). I don't know if any of that will help, but I know I sometimes just need someone to tell me exactly what to do. Regardless, I think you're such a bright spot on my dashboard. I have loved everything Chenford that you've written and I think your personal posts are frequently the funniest I see. You seem like an incredibly kind person and I hope you know that there are people you may never meet or speak to who are rooting for you. I'll keep checking back, so if you want to talk off anon, just say so and I'll be happy to do that. (If not, that is also totally okay.) Hang in there. You've have a 100% success rate when it comes to surviving bad days.

hi friend. ik it's been a few days since this was sent, and i so deeply apologize for not responding any sooner, but i wanted to make sure i was in the right headspace first. i'm so happy to hear that my you enjoy my personal tag, i've always kinda figured that whenever someone sees the "*and this is icarly!" tag on my posts, their like, "not this girl again, geez." 🙄 so it really made my day to hear otherwise. 🥺💕 and i cannot even begin to explain how much all your advice helped. really. my mind went into such a complete overdrive that my attention span was not there at all, so suggesting something that i have seen enough times, and know the dialog of like the back of my hand really helped! i watched the live action movies of scooby doo, and that calmed me down quite a bit. but i found your ice cube trick to be immensely helpful!! so much so that i made sure to log it in my journal of coping mechanisms; that way when all else fails, i can remember how extremely helpful this was, it really did help ground me. but all in all, this sweet, heartfelt message meant so much to me. more than i could ever begin to express in words. i try to be as kind as possible, but as you may have been able to tell, i seldom believe that that is the impression i am leaving behind. so it was very nice to hear that reassurance from another person. and i love that you love all my ramblings on chenford. (i feel like a very annoying presence in that tag as well, so again, it was nice to be reassured otherwise). i hope you've been doing amazing over these past couple days, and that you have an even more outstanding weekend. thank you so, so, so, soooo much for being so thoughtful, and taking your time to send this, and check up on me. truly, i don't know what i would have done without your help. 💗💗💗

[sunsetcurve]

so...the last year has been rough. for everyone. but i’ve been lucky in a lot of ways, especially with the people in my life, and i wanted to take a second to thank some people on here. because genuinely, you guys mean so freaking much to me. i’ve had a lot of online friends in my life but none that feel so much like family. these are the people who have carried me through the last year, who’ve made me feel seen and heard and supported me in all my endeavors and just been wonderful to me all around. i love you guys, and happy new year <3

i’m about to get into it now. and i’ll try not to cry too much along the way.

@neshatriumphs​ nesha, when i say that you’re our fandom mom i mean that you’re my family, i mean that you’re my biggest supporter, my inspiration, my rock, the person who makes me want to be my best self, all the time. i can’t explain to you what your support has meant to me over the years. whether it’s leaving me incredibly kind notes on my fics that make me want to write more just for you, or sending me asks when you know i’m feeling down, or just making me laugh with your hilarious takes, you have always, always been there for me. you’re the toughest person i know and you make me want to keep pushing every day. you’re so incredibly talented; your ideas are just always stunning and inspired and despite being humble about it you’re amazing at everything you do. your art, your writing, your aesthetics, all of it. loeg and share-a-lair were just spectacular and such a show of how complex and original and smart your writing is. barring just your talent you’re also an inspiration in how passionate and kind and dedicated you are. you care for others everywhere you go. you come on here and constantly make me want to be a better person. it’s not just me, either—you’ve taken on the role of helping all of us in any way you can, and you just make us feel loved and supported and give us someone to always look up to. i love you. plain and simple, you’re my family, and i’m so, so grateful to have you in my life.

@juliesdahlias​ you know when you meet someone younger than you and you’re like how do they have this much talent in their body? and you can’t even be mad about it because you just want to root for them and you want good things for them and you think of them like a little sibling? that’s me around you all. the freaking. time. pearl, i’m constantly blown away by how smart and driven and passionate you are. you have so much talent to offer the world and i love seeing you thrive more than anything. you inspire me every freaking day; i mean, your tiara thief drabbles literally made me pull my fic out of my drafts for the first time in months. every time you post it’s something iconic and beautiful, whether its your fics or your edits or your headcanons. and not just that, but you’re so incredibly supportive of everything i put out there. like with ths, the way you latched on to it and are one of our biggest fans and made content for it literally as soon as we started!! that was amazing!! you’re just such an incredible person in every sense of the word; you’re talented and hilarious and kind and passionate and i love you so so much. i cannot wait to watch you do amazing things because i know you’re gonna be one of the greats. ily. 

@ciara-knightly i can’t even put this into words. i’m sitting here trying to say it right and every time i start i just turn into “!!!!!!!!” cause i love you so much. i know i’ve said this before, but shona, you’re honestly like my older sister. this whole year of just, really getting to talk to you beyond tumblr has shown me how honestly kind, passionate, smart, and supportive you are. talking to you is one of my favorite things in the world, whether it’s rambling about tiara thief, or discussing feminism in media, or just getting life advice. you always know what to say to lead me in the right direction and reassure me that things are gonna be okay. i look up to you more than i can tell you; i’m constantly inspired by your talent and your drive. you’re endlessly supportive and you make me laugh all the time, and i hold literally every convo we have close to my chest because it means so much to me to just be able to have them with you. i’ll never be over the fact that you basically discovered jatp, or us talking and making predictions for weeks before it aired, or us plotting out the whole dystopia novel together—which, even though it didn’t really pan out, was such an amazing experience because i got to do it with you. and i absolutely scroll back through our convos on a regular basis to scream over our tiara thief headcanons. everything i’ve done with you has been incredibly fun and meaningful, so what i’m trying to say in this very long winded way is that i’m so, so glad i know you, and i can never thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. 

@bitchmilsky lizzie, i literally think of you like you’re my little sibling. my weird, crazy, hilarious, incredibly kind and supportive and creative and amazing little sibling. ever since i met you you’ve been nothing but fun and friendly and wonderful to me. your posts never fail to make me laugh and i love seeing whatever you’re up to, even if it’s video games that i understand nothing about. you have so many fun ideas and you’re so freely yourself, it’s honestly inspiring. the things you make are always adorable and every time we go live together and chat i always have so much fun, and talking and i just want to meet you in person so badly because i know we’d be an amazing, unstoppable duo and that you’d make me laugh until my sides hurt. i’m still waiting on that cross-country road trip. we could roll the windows down and belt our way through the entire hd musical soundtrack, and it would be epic. for real, though, you’re one of my favorite people ever, and i hope this year brings you nothing but fun and good things because that’s what you deserve. i’m sending you a million virtual hugs and also booty shorts that say poggers on the ass. i love you <3

@zackmartn i know i’m gonna start crying right now because i love you so much and i’m trying not to because i just did my makeup but dammit, nikki, i just love you so much. i remember when i first came on here and was afraid to talk to you because i was like “ohmygod she’s so cool she’s the king of this fandom she’s amazing” but i thank god that you reached out to me every day. i honestly can’t imagine my life without you; you’ve been such a presence in it for so long that you’re inseparable from it. even the times i’ve gone on hiatus i’ve been stalking your blog from a distance like “i just wanna know what she’s up to...”. you’re honestly like an older sister to me and you’re one of the people i admire the most; you’ve been through and continue to go through so much and yet every day you come on here and decide to be a freaking light to all of us, to make me smile, to support me literally endlessly. like, the amount of times you’ve driven me to near tears from your reviews of my writing is ridiculous. the freaking umana fan club?? the way ths is one of your top tags??? it’s just...insane and such a show of how boundless your support is. and that’s not even getting into how freaking talented you are!!! i stare at your gifsets all the time!! and your fics like....holy shit you literally created this whole universe that i’m so freaking invested in and is better than literally anything that canon could ever do, and i know i’m honestly terrible at responding to messages but i hope you know you never have to start holding back with me. most of the time when i get stuff you send i have to sit there and get my thoughts together and that takes forever, but i love love love reading it anyway. the way you get excited about the things you love is everything, it’s something that i really really love about you, and i hope you continue to keep that passion and love for everything. and i hope that this year brings you nothing but good things, because you deserve that more than anyone. i love you. 

@willexs eliza, babe, i know we joke all the time that we were put on opposite sides of the ocean because we’d be too powerful if we were together but i really think it’s true. imagine us meeting. the universe just wouldn’t be able to handle it; it would implode. listen, you’re literally like my twin, my other half. we have so much in common that it’s honestly ridiculous. we operate on the same brainwave, and every time we talk i’m blown away by how easy it is and i honestly love it so much because i could not have picked a more talented and creative and fun person to work with. writing ths with you has literally been like...one of my favorite writing experiences ever. i can’t believe that it started on such a whim because it’s such an important part of my life now and getting to have you next to me while we figure this whole thing out is honestly the best part. it’s not just all the characters and dynamics we’ve created, it’s the fact that i can send you incoherent ramblings at ungodly hours and you’ll pick them apart, it’s the 3-hour phone calls to make playlists, it’s you always making me feel heard and inspiring me. it’s this like...excitement of building towards something amazing with someone i love. you understand me on this crazy and fundamental level, and sometimes it blows my mind how similar we are and how well you know me without us having even met. i feel like we’re the embodiment of “nobody gets me like you”. and i know i’ve said this before, but i really do think you make me a better writer. i love how you make me laugh, i love that you always have the best takes and i love how talented you are with your incredible adorable art and your fics and your gorgeous edits and i love that we egg each other on and hype each other up. i love that, despite being on opposite sides of the ocean, we’re still best friends. and i love you <3

​@cactus-con lou!!!!!! i literally just...ahh i love you so much!! i know i’ve said this before but you were the first person i talked to in this fandom, and you made me feel so freaking welcome. and that has never changed. talking to you is so easy and natural, and you make me feel loved and heard all the time. i love getting to share stuff with you because you always always always hype me up. not just that but like...your talent?? literally unmatched!!! you’re amazing at everything you do it’s ridiculous. i love love love all your artwork, i could stare at it literally all day. you have so much talent and i literally cannot wait to watch you do such great things with it. i just...you’re such a wonderful person to everyone around you. you spread all this love and support and kindness and i think you’re one of the most genuine people i know and i’m so so glad i know you. i hope this year treats you so well because you deserve nothing but good things. i love you. <3

@owenjoyners where do i even start?? brooke, you’re like my other twin. i know i’ve said this before but it’s literally insane to me that we’ve known each other for less than a year because it feels like i’ve known you my whole life. you are such an incredible freaking person. you’re funny and you’re kind and you’re talented and you make me smile every damn day. i love getting post notifs from you because i swear to god i light up every time. your gifsets are always gorgeous, and i’ve watched you learn and improve and you’ve gotten so good, it makes me so happy every time. your art??? you say you’re just starting out but i can’t even tell you how much i love it. your fics!!! you’re good at everything and it’s honestly ridiculous. and it’s not even about your consistently amazing posts, i also just...i love talking to you more than anything, even if we’re just simping over owen together. you make me laugh all the time and you always hype me up; you’ve let me ramble about my fics and helped me get my ideas together, you’ve talked stupid life stuff like school and college with me, and you’ve given me someone to go to whenever i need it. i think of you as one of my best friends and i can’t get over how fast we clicked or how easy it is to talk to you. i need you to come visit me so i can give you so many hugs and we can have a sleepover and talk for literally hours on end. in the meantime, we need to call again sometime because that was honestly so much fun. i love you with all my heart. 

and some people i want to say thank you to, because even though we don’t talk as often as i’d like you’re still amazing, and you make me smile all the time, and i love seeing you on my dash or in my notes: @taylorswiftrulestheworld @onplanetmars @dr-rigatoni @swellviews-finest @symphonic-concert @molinasmercer

[sakura-haruka]

Mike aka captainpoe is talking shit about me so let me get things straight.

He’s gonna do screenshots of what will makes him look like the victim, like he always does so you will have to believe me on my words (since I coun’t found our conversations by pm) but most people who know me or I've been following me for a long time know that I usually stay out of the drama. Big thanks to my friends for telling me what he was doing behind my back like the adult he is.

3 years ago Mike started following me, I was back then a small blog and I thought “wow a big blog is following me!”

He started to talk me and really fast told me to send him my edits by messages and I did! he also reblogged me on his mcu blog (and his sw blog too... I think).

I was really stressed with a big exam around July and I became obsess with EVERYTHING, I was a true pain in the ass to everyone. I’m not gonna lie. So yeah I also became obsess with my Tumblr notes, I did gifs to relax but it was not working very well back then. my behavior was childish and I apologized to him after! 

(He accused me of wanting to be reblogged on his sideblogs, it’s true, but it’s natural to me to reblog everything that people send me or tag me in on my sideblogs, I sincerely don’t understand people problem with reblogging on sideblogs things ).

When he got harassed on here, more like called out (it was actually around the same time I was a dick)  he asked me to take his defense and to reblog a post he made, he was basically whining about how he was the victim and never harassed anyone, he sent me messaged telling me that he was a married man in florida and never did anything against the once upon a time fandom, wasn’t homophobic and meh meh meh... Back then I believed him because he was the nice guy who was helping me getting notes in the MCU fandom. He used me, after talking to other members I realized that I wasn’t alone. 

I WANT TO APOLOGIES TO THE POEPLE I DIDN’T BELIEVED BACK THEN. I KNOW WHO HE IS NOW. 

He started being aggressive but nothing worriedly when TLJ came around, it was a real little thing but I wasn't shipping Rey x poe and I felt like it was problem for him that I wasn’t shipping them. I didn't thought too much about it but still, it left a bad taste in my mouth, I wasn’t talking a lot to him after that.

When I had problems and got hate on my blog he didn't do shit to help me. 

I was still sending me my edits because... Notes. I can’t lie about that, like every  creators here I want my edits to get notes. 

I think we haven’t talked for a verrrry long time, I was sending my edits that’s it. 

Last year he asked me to join my GOT blog, after all the reblog he did for me I thought It would be really bitchy to me to not add him as a member. But I also noted that it was funny how he joined both the B99 and the GOT fandom once he realized that it was very popular. 

He did edits on the blog so no problem at all, until s8 ended. I’m like everybody, I hated that season but when someone join my sideblogs, especially my got one, I am very clear about the no hate rule (I had problems with that on this blog before). But he thought that since he was popular he could do what he wanted, I deleted the two first he reblogged, one of them was calling people to harass D&D and I hate what they did but as someone who has been victim of bullying at school and still suffer from that I was disgusted by what he posted but I haven’t told him anything since he’s really popular and I didn’t want to create any drama... I have a life so I  finally forgot about it. 

My laptop broke and gosh, I really understood who he was at that moment! I sent a messages to all the members of my sideblogs asking them to keep the blogs active while I can’t, normal stuff for an admin. I had my tablet with no photoshop... spidey got “fired” and like a lot of other people I thought about that scene in iw where Tony told him “you’re an avenger now”, lucky me I have already made that gifset before so I took my tablet and just reposted my own gifset, it took me so long because I had to convert it back to gif format because of Tumblr... Anyway, later he sent me a message accusing me of having copied him and I haven’t seen his gifset so told him exactly that. He then accused me of doing that ALL THE TIME with endgame and I told him “listen bro we’re both using the same 30 seconds YouTube clips that marvel gave us”, like 20 other people (they were not a lot of people because that channel was weirdly unknown), it’s true that I was doing them after him but it’s just because I have a life and cannot always do gif, I make them when I have time. He also basically told me that I must be rich for having replaced my laptop that fast, I haven’t, I was using my tablet but even if I did replace my laptop, mêle toi de ton cul ( I have no English expression coming to me ).

I really understood who he was then. 

He totally stopped making edits for my got blog, because it stopped trending so it wasn’t interesting him anymore. 

a few months past and I think the only thing he told me is that he was scared of clowns... Literally. 

And then the BIG ONE, I know he was a douche but omg. Mike asked me to reblog ALL his posts on a sideblog I'm only a member of. He told me that the admin have blocked him because she was shipping reylo and well reylos hate him because he’s posting shit on them , they were a huge misunderstanding then (because i’m French and I may not have explained myself right) , I told him that I wouldn’t reblog him if the admin didn’t want to see his posts on the blog, he was blocked! and I was, at the same time, talking to another member of this blog who is a close friend of the admin and she agreed with me. he was very insisting and I told him that the admin was checking what we add to the queue and would certainly delete his posts, it was the big misunderstanding that could have hurt the admin of the blog, I just meant I know she checks what’s happening because she told me when I don’t tag a post with the right tags, it’s just what a good admin (unlike myself) does. I also told him that it was a new blog with “only” 14k followers, he must have something like 50K followers sooooo, and that his edits were getting 100K notes, more than anybody here. He became... I have no words to describe that. He told me that it was a dictatorship if I couldn’t reblog what I wanted, and that I should leave the blog, I stopped answering pretty fast after that. 

 In our last conversation I was vulgar. (it’s in the post he sent to my friends), he really need to get over it, I’m French and from Normandie : I am vulgar! wtf. It’s also the last thing he ever posted on my game of thrones blog. It was a Sunday either two days after after the last star wars movie came out or ten days ( I don’t remember if he waited a week or not) but he reblogged a text post from his blog sending hate toward the writers of both got and sw and spoiled the entire Star Wars movie on my game of thrones blog, which was “the drop of water that caused the vase to bleed” like annoy me all you want but when people goes on my got blog they don’t want to be spoiled, it was so rude and mean and that post had nothing to do there and it was at least the third time so I told him to “fucking stop” and since mr thinks he is the king he went all “you can’t talk to me like that” “I'm an adult” meh meh meh. I told him to never go in France ‘cause he wouldn't like us. And it was the last time we spoke.  Nothing to do directly with me but I would never do what he does to get notes, that man he’s ready to use any big events such as pride or women’s day to get notes. I do make edits for those events too but I'm actually a bisexual woman and not an heterosexual man and I really don’t think he’s doing those edits to show his support to those movements but just to get notes, this year he did the same thing with blm movement I thought it was disrespectful at best, he even made the famous “I we burn you burn with us” gifset  from the movie and no, just stop dude.  Making that gifset of Naya before she was even found was awful, a lot of people are doing gifs to feel better about things but I don’t think it would have came to anybody else mind to have it ready in their draft. It actually make me think of myself because after they died I made a gifset of Carrie Fisher and Stan Lee  and in my head  it was a tribute but now that I think back about it I wouldn’t make gifset when people dies anymore, I said it once again but in my head it was a tribute to those wonderful people life and work.  I did to feel people and myself a little better in those situations but it didn’t makes me feel better. I thought about it even more, especially for Carrie, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Billie and losing my mom is the worst thing that could happen to me. You can say that, at the end, Mike makes me realize something. 

He has been calling out for his behavior but instead of facing it like an adult he just want to take people down instead of him, I'm one of them and I certainly won’t be the only one.  it’s someone who doesn’t know how to face the consequences of his behavior and still think he’s untouchable, me and one of my friend said that he thought he was the king of Tumblr and I sincerely think that in his head he is. 

Sorry for the grammar I'm French and it’s almost 4 am so I'm gonna check the grammar tomorrow. 

[saikonohero]

Self indulgent Souyo fic

This fic was inspired by @erskye old post of Shadow Yosuke singing “Do you wanna ride” by BMC.  I really am no writer and what I write I mostly keep to myself, but the souyo tag isnt a very active one, so yeah. I hope you like it.

-In Shadow World-

Yu and Yosuke go alone for training, trying to prepare for anything that is to come later on their path. The others were simply too busy to join in with them.

"It's been a while, hasn't it? I haven’t seen the actual thing in a while." He smirked and walked around menacingly.

Yosuke: There really aren’t many shadows around this part, huh? I guess we wiped them all off, haha.

Yu: Yeah, I suppose. Maybe if we move further we might find some more.

Yosuke: Yeah!

The boys continue to move along. Yu catches something moving in the corner of his eye.

Yu: I think I saw something there.

Yosuke: Alright.

They move towards the way the shadow went, into an empty building.

"Oh my, it’s been a while, hasn't it?"

Yu and Yosuke look behind them.

"-my other self?"

Yu is shocked and Yosuke looks at the shadow terrified only to see the other version of himself again after so long.

Yosuke: What? This can't...I thought you were gone! What do you want again?!

Shadow Yosuke: Seems like little Yosuke there didn't learn his lesson the first time~

He approaches Yosuke and he grabs his cheeks with one hand. He then releases his face and walks towards Yu. Yu holds his sword up to Shadow Yosuke. Shadow Yosuke keeps walking towards him with the sword slicing through him. Though he doesn't seem to care at all and continues walking till he  reaches the base of the sword. Yu looks surprised.

Shadow Yosuke: Oh, I know this face. This tough man look is what got me into you in the first place. However, I’m simply just a reminder at this point and no danger to you anymore. You see, I was wiped off my power by the time my other self “supposedly” accepted me. I’m just a ghost at this point.~

Yosuke: Do you really think we are going to trust you this easily?

Shadow Yosuke leans onto Yu. His elbows are resting on Yu, while he supports his head with his hand. He looks at Yosuke.

Shadow Yosuke: Hmm, that would be the stupid thing to do, honestly. Just cause you accepted me, doesn’t mean I wont have a new reason to appear again.~

He stares at Yu in a flirty way. Yosuke looks at him quite embarrassed and confused. Yu looks at him in the eyes. Shadow Yosuke grabs Yu's arms and puts them on his waist. Yu appears confused but he doesn’t hold back. Yosuke stares at Yu confusedly, questioning his partner’s reaction, when suddenly another figure appears.

Shadow Yosuke: I gotta go, my partner arrived~

Shadow Yosuke pulls back from Yu, pulling the sword out of him at the same time. He then turns his back to face the other figure. Yu slowly becomes afraid, his expression changing by the minute. Yosuke looks at the figure.

Yu: What the…?

Yosuke: Partner…?

Shadow Yu: Long time no see.

He darkly looks at Yu in the eye, while smirking. Yu's heart starts to race and his breathing becomes faster. Shadow Yosuke approaches Shadow Yu, while looking at him in a flirtatious way. He grabs his hand and Shadow Yu pulls him closer to him, leaning his face closer to his as well. Yu grabs Yosuke's arm immediately and runs out, before they get to see what happens next.

Yosuke: Hey! Partner!

Yu kept running, his grip on Yosuke's hand becoming stronger. They both go into another building. Yu releases Yosuke's arm and he immediately falls down to his knees.

Yosuke: Hey! Are you ok?

Yosuke checks on Yu.

Yosuke: What the hell, man...

Yu slowly turns his head and looks at Yosuke in a serious expression.

Yu: Why is your shadow here..?

Yu gets up and pins Yosuke on the wall.

Yu: Is there anything you aren’t telling me?!

Yosuke looks shocked and immediately pushes Yu off him.

Yosuke: What the hell is wrong with you, dude?! Are you seriously putting the blame on me?! In case your head was too deep in your ass, YOUR shadow ALSO appeared! So maybe YOU'RE the one who's hiding something!

Yu: Whatever it is it's gonna be a problem. We won’t have to let the others know about this.

Yosuke’s eye is twitching from anger and appears annoyed.

Yosuke: Yeah, ok ignore me. But...*sighs* I agree. We have to settle this right now.

Yosuke prepares to leave the building, when Yu grabs his arm to stop him.

Yu: No. I don’t think this will be this simple this time. Fighting them off won’t do.

Yosuke: What are you implying?

Yu releases his arm.

Yu: I believe that there is something between us that needs to be resolved. Your shadow was acting really weird on me, earlier.

Yosuke: W-well, your shadow was being weird on mine, as well! Whatever, I'm going to see what this really is about.

Yu: No.

Yosuke: Huh?

Yu: I don’t want to learn the truth from them.

Yosuke: So you prefer to not know anything at all? *sighs* Whatever, I really don’t want to learn it from them either. Let's just go home, I’m beat.

Yu: Right.

-In Real World-

The boys have been silent the whole way home. They both saw what happened there and they were too uncomfortable to talk about the situation earlier.  

Yosuke: I'll catch with you later.

Yu: Yeah. See ya

Yu heads home tired and angry.

Yu: Hey Nanako. I’m sorry I’m late.

Nanako: Big bro! Where have you been?

Nanako runs all excited to hug him. Yu suddenly feels a little bit more relaxed. He would never be mad at his baby cousin.

Yu: The school club finished late and I stayed for clean up. I was hanging out with Yosuke afterwards. I didn't notice how fast the time passed. Have you eaten?

Nanako: No, I was waiting for you. I did make some rice though.

Yu leaves his stuff on the couch and runs to the kitchen.

Yu: Hmm, what could we cook? Right, I had left some beef in the fridge for today.

Yu cooks for him and Nanako. They both have dinner and Yu leaves a spare dish for Dojima. After that, Yu goes to his room, changes clothes and prepares for bed.

He recalls the events that happened earlier today and he can’t get off his mind the way Shadow Yosuke would stare and touch him. He gets kind of flustered and his thought wanders off, what it would be like to have the actual Yosuke being like that to him. He had a thing for Yosuke for a while now, but he never came to terms with those feelings, in fear that would push Yosuke away.

His head is spinning into a tornado of thoughts, that he can’t get out of his head. Like the way Shadow Yosuke looked at him and his behavior towards him, Yosuke becoming very embarrassed by the scene, Shadow Yosuke being intimate with Shadow Yu. It only meant one thing. That Yosuke most likely has feelings for him. Or maybe this was a way for the shadows to mess with them. Regardless, they both noticed that, but what they missed was Shadow Yu's response to that of Shadow Yosuke's. Yu ran off after all, before they were able to see the full outcome. Did Yosuke notice Shadow Yu’s behavior? Probably not. After all, Yosuke said that Yu's shadow acted weird in a failed attempt to defend himself, right? Or perhaps he really noticed too?

Yu decided to go to sleep.

The thought would persist stubbornly in his mind and he would be anxious, about whether Yosuke actually felt like that or the shadows were playing tricks on them. For the rest of the days that we would see Yosuke and the rest of the Investigation Team, Yu tried his hard to pretend like nothing ever happened to the point that Yosuke would get confused and even mad at him for not facing the situation, but instead brushing it off like that. Yosuke, on the other hand would be distant from Yu, but not in a way that he would notice. His thoughts would circle around the past events and would try to control them, by distracting himself. However, he was mad at Yu for not reaching out to him. He is his best friend, they shared everything with each other. But by the time they saw their shadows, they have been distant and closed to themselves.

Yu returns home from an ordinary day. He cooks and takes care of Nanako until it’s time to head to bed. However, it was another restless night for Yu. He would finish texting whoever had sent him a message at the moment and he would close his phone, leaving it beside him. He closed his eyes, but the thoughts wouldn't leave him be. After some hours, at last, his body gave in.

After almost 2 hours, his phone started ringing. The number was named “Yosuke”. He picks it up.

Yu: Its 3:00 AM.

Yosuke: I know, but I can't sleep. Sorry for waking you up, but do you wanna go out for a bit? Yes at this hour.

Yu: Yeah, I'll meet you outside your house.

Yosuke: Alright. See ya.

Yosuke hangs up. Immediately, Yu gets up and dresses up. He puts the first easiest clothes he could wear. He grabs a jacket and heads out, trying not to wake anybody up. He walks to Yosuke's house and sees Yosuke in the distance. Yosuke approaches him. Yu looks at him a bit surprised.

Yu: It's unusual to see you in such jacket.

Yosuke: Dude, its 3:00 am, I don’t care. I grabbed whatever I found.

Yu: What's the matter?

Yosuke: We really need to talk. The next fog is gonna come soon and we still haven’t solved the shadow situation.

Yosuke starts walking and Yu follows him.

Yu: Right.

Yosuke: Don't "right" me! You have been ignoring this whole thing, since the time we left from there! I really wanted to just go there and find answers for myself, but I didn’t think that was fair.

Yu: I thought you didn’t want to learn the truth from the shadows. But I see. I'm sorry for leaving you hanging there. I just don't think I’m ready to come to terms with this yet.

Yosuke looks at him embarrassed and angrily.

Yosuke: I didn’t but what else was I supposed to think, you liar!

Yu: Huh?

Yosuke: I know you, Narukami! You were trying to find an explanation on my shadow's behavior. You just wanted to embarrass me!

Yu: Yosuke, what are you talking about?

Yosuke: You mean...that you don’t know my secret?

Yu: I’ve only made speculations about the situation. But I cannot be sure, unless you reveal it to me.

Yosuke: Don’t mess with me.

Yu stops walking and goes in front of Yosuke.

Yu: Yosuke, you told me to meet you, only for you to just be mad at me? You're the one having sleepless nights, being paranoid about this.

Yosuke: Listen here, I don't care, if you're my best friend. I know what you did.

Yu: What do you mean?

Yosuke: Why did you hide the truth from me? If we have stayed a little longer, we would have understood why our shadows appeared again. I stood there taking all the embarrassment, while you had the chance to just run away. You protected yourself from me, but why didn’t I have the chance to do the same? Huh, “leader”?

Yu: Yosuke, I wasn't trying to-

Yosuke: You're just awful, you know that?

Yu stood there silently for a while.  

Yu: ...I guess it's only fair to reveal my secret right?

Yosuke: Since you know mine.

Yu: But, do I?

Yosuke: You're terrible.

Yu: No, seriously, I never said I know, just that I made speculations. I might be terribly wrong.

Yosuke: Whatever. I don’t wanna explain what happened there. You saw it too.

Yosuke is blustered. Yu proceeds to walk and Yosuke follows him.

Yosuke: Where are you going?

Yu doesn’t answer and stops after a while. Yosuke stands in front of him.

Yu: My secret is-

Yu pushes Yosuke off the sidewalk, him rolling down a small hill. Yu runs down to him. Yosuke gets up and runs up to him.

Yosuke: I HATE YOU. IM BEING SERIOUS AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THIS. THIS ISNT YOU AT ALL.

Yu: Being this serious isn’t your thing, honestly.

Yosuke makes Yu trip, Yu holds Yosuke and they both trip down the remaining hill. Yu holds Yosuke's arms and stands on top of Yosuke. Yosuke stares him back and they both become flustered. Immediately, Yu gets off him and sits beside him. Yosuke slightly turns his back at him.

Yosuke: I guess that was fun. But maybe for another time.

Yu: Haha, yeah. I guess so.

Yosuke: It sucks that you had to learn this this way. It's really embarrassing and if you feel grossed out, honestly I wouldn’t blame you...

Yu: I don't find it gross at all. It is actually heartwarming.

Yosuke: Huh? What do you mean?

Yu: For you to almost coming to terms with those feelings. It gives me the courage to do too.

Yosuke: Whatever, man. Stop being sappy.

Yu: I still can’t find the proper courage to say this. But I can show it to you.

Yosuke: Show it to me?

Yu: Can you look at me?

Yosuke: Ok-

Yu leaned in for a kiss. He holds to it for a bit and then he lets go. Yosuke turns bright red and immediately turns away.

Yu: I like you too, Yosuke.

Yosuke: Pervert...

Yu: You didn’t push me back.

Yosuke: I know. I didn’t want to.

Yu: Perhaps, it was because you always liked that about me? Being tough?

Yu looked at Yosuke in a flirty way. Yosuke pushed Yu's face away and turned his back at him, once again.

Yosuke: Don’t say stuff like that...

Yu: Heh. Hey Yosuke.

Yosuke: What?

Yu: Admit it to yourself at least, if not to me.

Yosuke: No.

Yu: I guess the Investigation Team will pay a visit to Shadow Yosuke this time.

Yosuke turns to Yu aggressively and looks at him, looking angry.

Yosuke: Since when did you become such a dick, "partner"?!

Yu: Can you just for once leave your guard down? It's only you and me.

Yosuke: *sighs* Whatever. I uhh...I don't know how to say this.

Yu waits for him patiently. He holds his hand and smiles softly. Yosuke sees his gestures and he doesn’t hold back or flinches. He feels quite uncomfortable though.

Yosuke: I... Damn it, I like you.

Yu: Was it that hard?

Yosuke: Yes. Yes it was.

Yu lays down smiling, having his arm covering his eyes. Yosuke looks at him confused. Suddenly Yu’s smile fades and his body becomes relaxed.

Yosuke: Yu?

Yu appears to have fallen asleep.

Yosuke: J-just how many days haven’t you slept properly?! Hey, Yu!

Yu doesn’t respond, he is fast asleep. Some minutes pass in utter silence. Yosuke looks at him sleeping and then continues to look at the grass, the night sky with some stars being visible even at this hour. Suddenly, Yosuke looks back at Yu and takes a deep breath.

Yosuke: *sighs* You know, I really liked you for a long time. I hate how you had to learn this this way. At least now you know...It seems very weird for you to be feeling the same way. It was always the other way around for me.

Yosuke leans down to him and kisses him softly. He then starts shaking him.

Yosuke: Hey, Yu, wake up! I can’t carry you to bed.

Yu: Mm...Hm?

Yosuke: Wake up, partner.

Yu slowly gets up and rubs his eye.

Yu: What happened?

Yosuke: You fell asleep on the grass, dude.

Yu: Oh, I’m sorry, I must be really tired.

Yosuke gets up on his feet and stretches his arm to Yu.

Yosuke: Let's go partner.

Yu grabs his hand and smiles.

Yu: Yeah.

Yosuke keeps holding Yu's hand and they walk to Yosuke's home.

Yu: I will keep going now. See-

Yosuke: Hey, Yu wait.

Yu: Hm?

Yosuke: I have a spare futon up my room, you could stay at my place for tonight.

Yu: Alright.

Both go inside and up to Yosuke's room, quietly. Yosuke grabs the spare futon, but Yu stops him and grabs his hands. He closes the closet where the futon is.

Yosuke: Huh?

Yu leads him to his bed.

Yosuke: H-hey...That's  way too soon, you idiot.

Yu: I won’t do anything weird. I promise.

Yosuke: Alright…

Both lay down in the same bed. Yosuke is a bit uncomfortable, so his back is turned to Yu. Yu hugs him from behind and immediately falls asleep. Yosuke is feeling embarrassment, but he feels warm inside at the same time, he doesn’t hate it. This is all new to him, after all, especially with a guy. Day arrives and Yosuke is turned to Yu, while he slowly opens his eyes. He sees Yu still sleeping. He slowly puts his hand on Yu's cheek and rubs it softly. He closes his eyes and leans closer to his face.

Yu: Good morning, partner.

Yosuke: Agh!

He pulled himself back surprised.

Yosuke: I thought you were sleeping.

Yu: I just woke up.

Yu nuzzles against Yosuke.

Yu: What time is it?

Yosuke: I uh, I don’t know. Lemme check.

Yosuke turns around to grab his phone. He opens it and sees the time. It’s around 1:00 pm.

Yosuke: It’s almost 1:00 pm. I never heard my alarm going off.

Yu: We must have been really tired, huh?

Yosuke: I mean, you fell asleep on the ground yesterday.

Yu: I did, huh?

Yosuke: Yeah.

Yu: What were you trying to do earlier?

Yosuke: Nothing, don’t worry about it.

Yu leans in and kisses him softly.

Yu: Let’s get up.

[swiftiephobe]

thoughts on edit discourse, aka “you all realise this is meant to be fun?”

okay so buckle up swifties because i have some THOUGHTS about the whole edit discourse, the idea of needing to support editors by reblogging their posts and where i think some of you are a bit... misguided in how you approach sharing content on tumblr.com. this is a long post (i have put it under a cut because it is that long) because i am incapable of saying things concisely and i cannot think of another way to get my points across without having them misrepresented. i know a lot of people might ignore this because it’s a long ass essay, and that is valid <3 i just wanna get these thoughts out there. i do appreciate anyone who chooses to read this and try and understand my point of view. i love editors and the content they create. i do not love the idea that people have to run their blogs and engage with content on this website in a very specific way in order to be acceptable to the community.

also this isn’t directed at any one person in particular. the attitudes i am talking about are pervasive in a large portion of the fandom, and i’ve seen them building for quite a while now. i’m happy to have a respectful discussion about many of the points i’ve made here, as i know a lot of you will disagree with them. the purpose of this post isn’t to “attack” people, it’s to provide a different perspective.

i wanna preface this by talking about when i first started posting edits. i don’t do it a lot now mostly because i’m busy and don’t often feel like it but back in 2017/2018 i really got into editing. i remember when i first taught myself how to make gifs in photoshop, and i made my first gifset, and i was so excited to post it because i was so proud of myself for having created something. so i posted it, and then i kept making and posting gifsets. most of them didn’t get many notes, and frankly a lot of them were not very good because i was still learning, but i still posted them because it was nice to have created something. 

one day i posted a gifset and tagged it with some appropriate tags, including tagging some big source blogs. well, one of those big source blogs actually reblogged my gifset! and i was so excited by that. i even went and sent that blog an ask profusely thanking them for reblogging my edit. it’s a bit embarrassing to think about having done that now, but the point is i was so excited to have a blog that i considered “important” reblog my stuff, and of course that led to more notes on the gifset which made me happy. that gifset ended up getting about 150 notes, which still isn’t a lot but it made me happy at the time.

why am i telling this story, you might ask? because i want to put it out there that I GET IT. getting that reblog on that gifset made me, a baby editor, very very happy. ecstatic, even. the fact that i can still remember it now shows how much it meant to me. i was already proud of myself for having created something that i thought was good, but getting that extra bit of external validation to tell me that what i had created was actually good felt special. so i understand why editors want people to reblog their work. it makes us feel good to see that others are enjoying what we’ve made enough to want to share it with others.

so i kept making edits, some of them got a lot of notes while others really didn’t. i continued to learn new things about editing, i played around in photoshop and got excited every time i realised a new thing i could do with one of the tools. some of the edits i made were a lot of work, and i was very proud of them, and i still am very proud of them. a lot of those edits that hold a special place in my heart did not get many notes. one edit that i made (which was a url graphic for another person) took hours and a lot of hard work trying to figure out how to make my idea happen, and i think now it has less than ten notes.

sometimes i look back through my edit tag and i see edits like that one, that i loved making and thought turned out very well, but have relatively very few notes. and honestly? when i look at them, i don’t feel sad about the number of notes they have. sure, i think “well, it would’ve been nice if more people had seen this”, but for the most part i still feel damn proud of myself for having made it. i feel happy looking at them because they remind me of when i was making them and how much i enjoyed the process. 

at the end of the day, editing isn’t something i do as a job, for the sake of meeting a quota or reaching a benchmark of external achievement. it’s a hobby, something i do because i enjoy the process of creating something. i post my edits here so that they can be hosted publicly on my blog, and yes while getting notes is very very nice, it’s not my primary motivation. this year i’ve mostly been making edits for albums that i have enjoyed, some of which have practically no audience on tumblr and so don’t get many notes. and that’s fine. i don’t make them for other people.

which i suppose brings me to a point that i feel like will upset some people, but... the way some of you talk about editing, sometimes it seems like you don’t even enjoy it? i know that’s ridiculous because you all do, and many of you are crazy talented, but when i read people posting about how getting less than 100 notes on an edit makes them want to give up and never post an edit ever again, i frankly have to wonder if you even enjoyed making the edit in the first place, and if not, why did you do it? it just seems like a lot of you have a warped idea that the end goal of making an edit is notes, when in my opinion it really should be for fun. we’re in the taylor swift tumblr fandom. this is meant to be fun, remember? it’s okay to be upset when something you thought was great doesn’t receive as enthusiastic a reception as you were hoping for, but it happens to everyone and it doesn’t mean you, or others, are doing something wrong. if you enjoyed creating something, and you are proud of it, that’s what really matters in the end.

something else i’ve noticed is the extreme policing of how people interact with edits, mostly the notion that you HAVE to reblog edits and anything else is offensive and unacceptable. and sorry, but no. everyone runs their blogs in a different way. some people use their likes as bookmarks for things they want to reblog or queue for later. some people have a specific aesthetic they want to keep for their blog so don’t reblog every single thing, but they still want to acknowledge that they saw your edit and liked it. people have a million reasons why they don’t want to reblog something, and since it is their blog and their space, all of them are valid. 

when you post something to a public social media website, you have to accept that people are going to interact with it in the way that suits them most (this is of course excluding hate or stealing, those are not acceptable). if you are seeing a like on your edit and somehow extrapolating it into some “this isn’t good enough” statement, you are reading way too much into it. if people are liking your edit, it’s because they like your edit. is it nice when people reblog your stuff? yes. but people aren’t obligated to do so.

this also applies to the idea of keeping comments in the tags. i agree that commenting in the tags on edits is proper etiquette, and it’s something i always do. but the absolutely vitriol i have seen directed towards people who comment on their reblogs is not okay. i’ve seen people talk about blocking people who comment on their edits. it’s not nice. if you see someone say “i love this!” about your edit and your first thought isn’t “that’s so nice!” but instead “this person said this in the wrong place so i hate it”, please get your priorities straight.

i think most of the discussion surrounding edits starts off in a good place. it’s good to remind people that reblogging edits is the best way to support them, and that it will make people happy. i think that message has been made clear time and time again, but now it’s turning into something more aggressive. you all say that the fandom is “dying” because people don’t interact with edits (as a side note, edits aren’t the only valid form of content in the fandom. funny text posts, theories, discussions and ask games all contribute to the feeling of the fandom being alive just as much as edits do), but all that these rules you’re trying to implement do is scare people away. people will become more and more afraid to interact with anything, for fear of not interacting enough, not interacting in the right way, or not interacting with the right people. and that, ultimately, will do a lot more harm to the fandom than people liking your edits.