#right now i'm fucking SCREAMING and you know why

[verdibaritones]

I'm an aging king whose wife doesn't love him and his son betrayed him and he can't sleep and he wants to die

I'm a bird man who wants to find a bird woman to marry

I want revenge on the bastard who seduced my sister and killed my father and I suspect my new boyfriend is the very man I seek but I promised him not to look through his stuff and I have HONOUR but I NEED to know and I'm also having a gay crisis probably

My mom was FALSELY ACCUSED of WITCHCRAFT and then BURNED at the STAKE and she screamed at me from the flames to AVENGE HER and I'm having ptsd about it

(continued) So I kidnapped the son of the guy who had my mom burned and I wanted to burn him but he was just an innocent kid and I hesitated and then my mom's ghost showed up and yelled at me and I was a wee bit stressed out and I accidentally threw my OWN kid in the fire. whoops

I'm dying of tuberculosis but somehow singing this gorgeous aria with perfect breath control

you FUCKERS give me back my daughter RIGHT NOW! or I will cry

I'm an emo bass I hate everyone and I also want the MacGuffin my dad fumbled. it probably won't make me happy tho. I wish dad would buy me some death metal merch

I'm an evil bass and I'm essentially singing Hellfire: Opera Edition about the sexy baritone twink. I'm having a gay crisis.

what if we cancelled the tenor REALLY hard. slandered him. spilled the tea to all the tabloids.

I did HORRIBLE THINGS to gain the throne and now my life SUCKS and my family is SUFFERING and the country is in SHAMBLES and also the child I had assassinated haunts me and I'm losing it

I'm the hottest celebrity in these parts and I just MURDERED a poor ANIMAL after my assistants tortured it for a while and the crowd LOVED IT

I am summoning SATAN to tell people THE FUTURE

I am Satan and I'm trolling everyone with this banger song (unrelated to the previous one)

I'm going to kill the tenor and fuck the soprano. #justbaritonethings amirite. oh wait I'm in church.

MOTHER I AM COMING TO THY AID! but first lemme just. just a couple high Cs. I AM IN A GREAT HURRY! okay one more high C

I'm going to have y'all bitches hanged it will be so funny trust me.

I am in CONSTANT UNIMAGINABLE PAIN and you fuckers want me to USE THE MAGIC THING that keeps me alive?! fuck you. I'm not doing this. I'm an unworthy sinner. can someone just PLEASE shank me already.

I'm sure my totally trustworthy and amazing husband will return soon and everything will be alright and I definitely won't have to die to preserve my HONOUR

(later) update: unfortunately my totally trustworthy and amazing husband is a lying cheating two-timing fuck but I still love him for some reason and he wants to take our kid with him oh and he has a new wife so I guess I'm committing seppuku for honour reasons

I will never fuck. I am unfuckable. I will put your head on a SPIKE.

so there is this cursed undead sailor and I'm a YA novel heroine destined to save him. I haven't even met him yet btw, I'm just obsessed with this picture of him

let me give you a "quick" recap about the lore so far and also angst about my fuckups and my inevitable doom

so I met this hot brooding tenor who saved my life! yeah he's my brother's archenemy. what could possibly go wrong in this lovely, haunted Scottish castle we live in

can you dumbass motherfuckers STOP FIGHTING EACH OTHER for FIVE MINUTES? I'm so fucking done with this entire city. Why did I ever accept this position.

(continued) hey, you. Obviously Evil Advisor who is definitely not going to poison me after the intermission. let me just intimidate you and force you to say a horrible curse upon yourself. yeah bitch this is the most "why do I hear boss music" moment ever.

“I don’t like this song because I can’t relate to it” skill issue. I’m mad at my husband I love my girlfriend I’m a lone cowboy I’m growing old I’m growing up I’m depressed I love my friends I’m perpetually horny I’m drunk at the club I love my husband again

[formulafanfics13]

Why Are You Always Like This - YT22 🔥

Masterlist

Summary: Yuki Tsunoda finally snaps after five days of sexual frustration, a sundress too short, and one too many paddock run-ins with you giggling on the pit wall. The explosion happens in the AlphaTauri motorhome — all pent-up rage, jealousy, and sheer chaotic heat. You provoke him. He punishes you. Over the couch. On your back. With filthy talk, possessive fucking, and zero hesitation. And when it's over? He’s still mad, you're still laughing, and the only thing more raw than your thighs is his hunger for post-sex carbs.

Warnings: Explicit sexual content including rough sex, spanking, hair pulling, semi-public sex in a team motorhome, degradation/praise kink, possessiveness/jealousy kink, dirty talk, light choking (non-breathplay), overstimulation, unprotected sex (raw), Yuki being feral and fast, and chaotic post-nut snacking. Absolutely no plot, all raw hormone-fueled chaos.

"You're so fucking annoying." Yuki didn't look at you when he said it. Just stood there, arms crossed in the corridor of the AlphaTauri motorhome, jaw clenched, eyebrows twitching like they always did right before he lost it.

You blinked, biting back a smirk. "Me? What did I do?"

"You wore that to the paddock."

You looked down. "...it's a sundress."

"It's a threat."

You snorted. "Relax, it's just skin. I wasn't even near your garage today—"

"Yeah, because you were too busy flirting with Lando and sitting on the fucking pit wall like you were posing for Vogue."

"I am Vogue."

He blinked. "Shut up."

You grinned. Yuki's jaw was grinding. The angrier he got, the more silent he went, which was always the giveaway. He didn't shout when he was really pissed, he just radiated fury in short, loud exhales and minimal blinking.

"You good?" you asked, sweetly.

"I haven't jerked off in five days," he said. "I'm not good."

"Jesus-"

"I'm gonna fuck you through the floor." He grabbed your wrist.

The moment the motorhome door slammed shut, Yuki shoved you up against it. Hands everywhere. Breath ragged. Mouth already on your throat like he was trying to bite the attitude out of you.

"You're such a little shit," he mumbled into your skin. "I was so well-behaved all week."

You gasped, breath catching as his hands yanked your dress up, no hesitation, no warning.

"No panties?" he hissed.

You smiled. "I forgot."

He stared at you for a second like he was about to combust. "You did not forget."

"Okay, maybe I didn't."

"You're a demon."

He spun you around, bent you over the shitty motorhome couch, and slapped your ass so hard you squealed. "Say sorry."

"No."

Slap.

"Yuki-"

"Say. It."

You were giggling and soaked and absolutely not sorry. "Make me."

He did. He fucked you from behind, one hand tangled in your hair, the other gripping your hip so tight you were already sore. "This what you wanted?" he panted, slamming into you with insane speed for someone under 5'6". "Wanted me to snap in front of the media? Wanted to be my little problem?"

You moaned, incoherent. He pulled out suddenly. You screamed. "Fucking brat," he muttered, flipping you onto your back on the couch. "You think you're funny?"

"I know I'm funny."

"Yeah? You gonna laugh while I'm dicking you down?"

You did laugh. He slapped your thigh. You shrieked. Then he pushed inside you again and the laughter died instantly.

"Holy- Yuki-"

"Not so funny now, huh?" He was fucking feral. All sharp thrusts and unfiltered rage, hands gripping your knees, your ribs, your jaw. He kissed you messy, kept calling you a menace, and talked nonstop.

"You wear my hoodie out there again, you're getting fucked in the pitlane. I don't give a shit. You think anyone else can make you come like this? Huh? You think Lando's got this stroke? No, 'cause he's a fucking child-"

"Oh my God-"

"-you're mine. Fucking say it."

"I'm yours!"

"Louder."

"I'M-" you screamed as he hit the spot so hard your vision split. "Yuki I'm gonna-"

"Fucking do it."

You came so hard you nearly blacked out. Legs shaking, eyes rolling, nails in his back like you were trying to hold onto reality. He came seconds later with a strangled groan, collapsing on top of you, sweaty and out of breath and still mad.

Post-nut silence lasted twelve seconds. Then Yuki groaned and said: "You made me sweat through my race shirt."

You wheezed. "You came in it, too."

"FUCK-"

He shoved your shoulder. You shoved him back. You were both naked on a couch that probably hadn't been deep cleaned since 2022, limbs tangled, still panting, dress bunched around your ribs.

"I need snacks," Yuki muttered.

"You just had pussy."

"Yeah but now I need carbs."

He stood up, dick swinging, and started rummaging in the mini fridge. You watched him walk across the room like nothing happened. "You're insane," you said.

"You're worse," he said through a mouthful of mini muffins.

You flopped back on the couch, chest still heaving, sore in the best way. "You gonna fuck me again?"

He looked over his shoulder. "Only if you shut up this time."

You didn't. He did anyway.

[armin-slvt]

. ‎ . ݁⋆ “Attitude”

౨ৎ Connie springer ౨ৎ

Synopsis: After spending a long day complaining to Connie on the farm, he decides to shut your mouth by making it scream something else!

Pairing: Country!Connie + Brat!Black!Reader

Warnings: 𓊆ྀི󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠 Smut, Raw, Overstimulation, cream pie, orgasm denial, spanking, etc.𓊇ྀི

The country life was something you weren't incredibly familiar with as you grew up living the city life or as he called it the "Boujee lifestyle." Even still, connie tried his hardest to make you accustomed to it.

From teaching you how to hunt, fish, and even showing you the way around the farm.

As many times as he took you out of the city, he couldn't take the city out of you.

"Connie it's stinks"

"Connie it's hot"

"Connie these boots hurt my feet"

You had an attitude the entire time you'd been outside and it was annoying the absolute hell out of him hearing you nag in his ear.

Especially while trying to show you how he cares for the farm in 90 degree weather.

From the tight tank top that pushed your breast up to the sparkling clean boots that had never seen a speck of dust before, you didn't seem a smidge bit close to belonging there.

"Con can you carry me, i don't wanna mess my boots up in this mud." You said looking at him pouting. He looked at you dumbfounded, almost as if he didn't want to answer.

"I bought you the boots so you'd get dirty, now bring ya' ass" Connie responded, feeling himself get slightly irritated. He was trying to be patient, but you kept poking at his nerves.

"You know what... don't act like that 'cause I don't want to walk through shit." You smacked your lips, rolling your eves as you walked away, only to be pulled back by your waistband.

"You better cut that shit out right now, you and all this damn complaining" After all this time of hearing your mouth he finally reached his breaking point.

"I'm going inside I'm done." You sighed taking off the gloves you wore. The heat, the dirt, and the smell it was all too much. And nothing was worse than the fact your hair began to sweat.

"I betchu won't go into that house." His grey eyes stared into yours, daring you to move.

"I betchu i will" You said mocking his accent. And fuck was he pissed, watching you strut back to the house did nothing but fuel his frustration.

And just like that you were back in the house, sinking into the bathe water. Gosh did it feel amazing finally being clean again. You weren't necessarily in the wrong, you didn't like being dirty and he knew that so why was he upset?

"Con, you in here baby" You softly yelled leaving the bathroom. To your relief there was no answer. Minutes passed and just as you could get comfortable you heard his deep voice.

"M'here baby" He stood there, his body dripping in sweat with his shirt off and his hat slightly tilted back. His abs glistened in the light with smudges of dirt on them. He looked hot, even as dirty as he was you might of let him bend you over just like that.

Your eyes slowly followed him to the bathroom door praying he didn't close it behind him until he shut it. "Maybe I could use another shower too" You bit your lip, the image of him replaying in your head over and over.

By the time he'd he walked out the bathroom, you'd forgotten your whole interaction from earlier. But there was no way he could, it bugged him to the point where he couldn't stop thinking about it.

Nonetheless, Connie wasn't too big a fan of arguing, so he used another way to express his anger and frustration. A way that he knew you'd listen to him.

"C'mon over baby" He said patting his hand on his lap. And like a puppy you listened, sitting there straddling him as his right hand gripped your waist firmly.

Using his other he pulled you in for a kiss, starting off slowly just pecking your lips before shoving his tongue in. "Conn" You whined feeling his aggression. He swirled his tongue around yours, sucking on it. The sounds from the kiss were disgustingly wet, as the saliva exchange from your mouths leaving a trail behind.

"Ya wanna know something baby, l'm not a fan of attitudes, never have and never will be," He said rubbing his thumb on your lip, wiping the mess left over. Your brown doe eyes followed his movements, craving more than a simple kiss. The pulse between your thighs needed more than a simple kiss.

"So why would I accept one from the woman I love the most hmm?" He questioned staring his low grey eyes into yours. Your lips slightly parted to say something smart, but nothing came out.

"Cat got ya tongue? You were talking so much earlier why stop now?" He smiled crawling his hand up your thigh, feeling your slightly damp panties against himself. Connie was calm, too calm, to the point where it felt scary.

"But Connie I was hot, and tired, and sweaty and it was so much" You justified your actions, you didn't feel like you did anything wrong.

Your fingers began to play with his waistband before he snatched it away making you pout. His gaze lowered, feeling much more intimidating than before.

"I think I'll just have to make you understand your wrongs, it's fine everyone needs to be reminded sometimes". Without giving you time to think, he had you lying there bent over his lap, ass up with his left hand wrapped around your wrist.

His grip held you in place as his right grazed your cheek softly. His calloused hand lifted before harshly crashing back down on your ass.

The unexpected sting traveling throughout your body making you squirm and cry out.

"Fuckkk con!"

One.

"I was patient with you today, and you did nothing but sit there and complain" He spoke with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Connieee" You whimpered feeling the ache of his hand. "Aht Aht, don't start screaming my name unless you're sorry baby" Your face scrunched up, going quiet again.

"But I didn't even-" You were cut off by the harsh pain that landed on your cheek once again, making you hiss. This time the slap felt sharp, and the feeling was more pleasure than pain. His thumb grazed against your panties feeling the heartbeat before pressing down allowing you to drip onto him.

Two.

"As many times as l've told you to respect me as I do for you, you continue raising your damn voice at me" Connie's jaw tightened watching your body jerk. He was frustrated with you, but he was even more pissed watching how horny he was making you.

"This shit must turn you on huh?" He chuckled, his voice making your body twitch. He was right and gosh was it pathetic. The way your nipples were perked up, your swollen puffy clit, and the sticky mess between your thighs was all so embarrassing.

His hand raised once again landing another blow on your ass, this time closer to your pussy making your thighs tremble. "Connie I'm sorry fuck!" You moaned out loudly feeling your body quiver. His hand rubbed and soothed the pain away, ignoring your insincere pleas.

Three.

"Y'know, I hate when you open your pretty mouth to use such filthy words too, yet you still do it" You felt his glare in you, as if his eyes were burning through your skin.

And beneath your belly, he was hard. His dick poked and twitched, feeling every inch of him between the fabric that separated the two of you.

The outline of his print filling your brain with more unholy thoughts than it could fit.

"Baby m'sorryy" You needily apologized, desperate for him to touch you.

Connie's hands released your wrist, laying your body flat on the bed.

He smacks his lips listening to you, as if he didn't believe a word that left your mouth. He pushed your plush brown thighs back into your chest forcing them to press against your breast.

His fingers brushed over your clit, sending a quiver down your spine.

"Youn even know why you're sorry for real, you just want some dick" He rolled his eyes as he pushed your panties to the side. The breeze on your pussy making you whimper.

"Connie please" You were desperate, the longer he didn't touch you the more you needed him. His eyebrow arched as he pulled his cock out. It was pretty, the light tan he had, the way it curved to the right, and the length of it.

Gosh it was big.

Veins lightly popped out the side of it, and it wasn't just long enough but it was thick too.

"You talk so fucking much, baby" He muttered pressing his tip against your clit, his dick twitching hard as your pussy glistened in the light.

"With that mouth, youn even deserve this for real" He frowned before pushing himself in deeply, allowing himself to stretch your walls apart as much as he could. "Fuck!" You gasp knocking your head back.

Only for him to ram himself in you aggressively, his balls slapping against your pussy wetly as your slick covered him.

"What I tell you about talking like that" He growled, his hand wrapping around your throat forcing you to look at him. He thrusted harder making you cry out, your legs trembling. "Con- I can't take it please" You moaned feeling yourself clench around him.

"Oh m'gosh, that's the s-spot!" You screamed as his tip pressed against your g-spot. He had your back arched deeply and your arms clinched the sheets for dear life.

"Shit..." he breathed out. His eyes followed your breast, watching the up and down motion. Connie's fingers teased your nipples, rolling over them before slightly pinching them.

Squelching sounds filled up the room growing louder and louder. The pornographic moans keeping the room anything but silent.

"Please, Connie go slow" The feeling of pain and pleasure swirled together as he deepened himself picking up his pace. "Im-soo-close baby!" You breathed, eyes rolling back. Gosh did it feel good having him fuck you like a madman. The man who was usually slow and patient, ramming inside of your cunt releasing all his frustration

Until a sudden emptiness filled your body, realizing he had pulled out right before you could. cum. His dick twitched in his hand and it's your slick dripping down it. His tip was flushed, throbbing, and swollen as if it never wanted to come out.

"M'sorry baby please" You whined craving the feeling of him inside of you.

"Use your words baby, why are you sorry hmm?" His brows furrowed.

Connie knew you never believed you were wrong in anything, and it pissed him off more than anything. His tip teased against your hole begging to come inside, waiting for your answer.

"I was doing too much baby, i was being a bitch more no reason" You whined, your hand pressing on his chest as his finger rolled over your clit making anything you wanted to say ten times harder.

"Please connie i'm sorry for real this time i'll work on it" You were desperate, you needed him stretching you out again.

"Keep lying to yourself baby, we both know you weren't sorry when you walked back into this damn house" He lifted your thigh onto his shoulder as he aligned himself up with you.

Connie smirked pushing himself inside of you, this time thrusting with rhythm allowing you to feel every inch of him. "Y'feel so fucking good" He moaned, tightening his grip on your hips. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your pussy clench around him, every thrust feeling more punishing.

His dick bulging through your stomach. Gosh he was whipped, the more he fucked you the deeper he wanted to be inside your pussy.

"Aht aht, Look at me when you cumming baby" Connie demanded.

And you did, your eye lashes fluttering at him looking into his as you slowly becoming more and more out of it. Your orgasm shooting through your body as you clenched down on him. Your thighs trembling uncontrollably as your breath heightened screaming his name.

Even after you had came his thrust never stop, each one sounding louder and louder as your cum covered his dick. You were on such a high all you could do was mutter incoherent moans as he built your body up to its second orgasm.

"Con- so much... too much" You whined digging your nails deeper in his back. You dripped down his thighs, leaving a mess on the sheets. His dick twitched inside of you, letting you know he was about to cum.

Connie's breath brushed your ears, "Y-You feel so fucking amazing" He muttered as his breathing became more shallow. His strokes becoming longer and more passionate.

His dick slammed deep inside of you one last time, filling you up with ropes of his cum. Leaving between your thighs feeling warm and sticky. Even after he pulled out, your thighs continued to tremble, still feeling his shape inside of you, leaving your pussy swollen, puffy, and raw.

"I really fucking hate attitudes baby"

[rae-yoon]

Saja boys x GN manager!reader

(Reader is a demon btw)

You were just a demon lingering in the underworld, with absolutely nothing to do. That was, until Gwi-Ma summoned you. You were now standing before the King of demons, thousands of other eyes staring at you.

“Hello, y/n,” He said smugly.

“what the fuck do you want.” You blurted out, initially enjoying your peace, only to be interrupted.

“You seem to be the only free demon at this moment.”

“What do you mean the ONLY free demon? i see like half the fucking population lingering around.”

“I need you to manage a demon boy band. They will help me steal souls.”

“Heck no.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No-” And with that, you now find yourself in the human world, standing in front of five demons in a — studio?

“Who are they?” you heard a voice ask, probably the black haired one.

“I dunno? Did Gwi-Ma send them” The teal haired one replied.

“I’m leaving.” You said. But as you started walking out of the room, you heard a voice at the back of your head.

“where do you think you’re going?”

And now here you are again, before the same five demons. You studied them carefully. They looked like something out of what humans called a “k-drama”. (or as i would say, a fucking wet dream😍)

“They’re staring at us.”

“Obviously, we’re attractive.”

One of them with hot pink (idk what the colour is) hair walked up to you.

“Hey baby, how are you doing?”

You rolled your eyes and walked to the center of the room. Sighing, you said “Gwi-Ma sent me to be your manager.”

A bunch of heads in the room nodded. The one with silver-purple hair growled at you. You raised an eyebrow. Was he a fucking rabid dog?

🫧~Timeskip bc author-chan is lazy~🫧

“What is that?”

“Pink smoke?”

“Magicians?”

Voices could be heard from every directions. You were praying that nothing would go wrong. The boys were now performing at the middle of somewhere? What were they performing? Their debut song, “Soda pop”. You were dressed as a random spectator at the corner, hoodie pulled up, face barely seen.

“You're all I can think of

Every drop I drink up

You're my soda pop

My little soda pop

Cool me down, you're so hot

Pour me up, I won't stop

You're my soda pop

My little soda pop,” just when the chorus ended, there was a whole crowd. THIS was really going well.

Flashback

“What concept should we do?” You asked the boys.

“What is a ‘concept’?” Romance asked.

“A concept is like a focus on what style the dance is. Something like that.” You replied. They still looked really confused. You mentally facepalmed yourself. Why did you even agree to this? No. You didn’t even have a fucking choice.

“Well, since none of you are suggesting, i personally would suggest we do aegyo.” you smirked, figuring they wouldn’t know what it meant. Stares of confusion filled the room, the boys all looking at one another.

So now, they were all performing in pastel pink, floral, coquette themed outfits. You literally cackled when they saw their outfits, shocked and begging you not to do this. You could’ve sworn you heard Gwi-Ma’s laughter.

Back to present🫧

Romance and Baby kinda “kissed” put hearts. Literal hearts. Like cupid-shot-the-bow-at-you type of hearts.

Fans screamed. Some fainted? Three certain people in the crowd caught your eye. Of course due to your demonic abilities, you knew that they were members of huntr/x. You smiled, obviously knowing that they were probably fuming right now, judging from their faces.

“Uh, make me wanna flip the top

한 모금에 you hit the spot

Every little drip and drop, fizz and pop, ah

소름 돋아 it's gettin' hot

Yes, I'm sippin' when it's drippin' now

It's done? I need a second round

And pour a lot and don't you stop

'Til my soda pop fizzles out,”

Timeskip again🎧

“Good job, boys! The audience really enjoyed your performance.” You said, while the boys slumped onto the sofa.

“Yeah.” Baby said.

“okay,” Jinu remarked.

“Do you wanna touch my abs?” Abby asked, and boy did he catch you off guard. You flipped him off.

You were summoned by Gwi-Ma to the underworld after the boys went to bed.

“Soda pop. It’s catchy.” Gwi-Ma said.

“Okay.”

“Not happy?”

“No, and can i go back? I was still watching Squid game.”

“Tsk. Feisty one, aren’t you?”

“Let me go.”

Gwi-Ma laughed manically and sent you back to the human world.

You didn’t notice it at first, you thought they were just warming up to you. When Jinu started initiating more conversation, when Romance started bugging you, or when Baby started giving you his food. They were drawn too you, TOO drawn to you. Gwi-Ma would take advantage of this. He would whisper: “They don’t like you” or “You don’t deserve them” breaking them down internally.

There was, however one time you went on break and Gwi-Ma sent another manager. And boy was he strict. He was making the boys run laps, generate lyrics during break time, putting them on a strict diet etc.

The boys hated it. Like hated hated it.

So when you came back from your (wonderful) break, five boys greeted you at the door. The moment you sat on the couch, they all sat next to you.

You were now squished between five ridiculously old men. (still hot, you’re old too,)

The six of you watched movies, you finished squid game, they cried, you cried, it was a damn joyful day. You honestly enjoyed today, you hoped there would be more moments like this.

[tttt06]

Arguments

IdolChan x Blackreader

Requests are open! I reply quickly. Masterlist here

Synopsis~ What an argument with Chan is like

Warnings~ SMUT, rough, teasing, oral (Receiving), dirty talk, overstimulation, breeding, Raw (Don't do it niggas!),

Word Count~ 1.4k

"WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"

Your hand waved in the air from frustration, "TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR FUCKING SELF!? I DON'T KNOW CHAN! MAYBE SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND THAN THAT FUCK ASS LAPTOP!"

Chan laughed out of anger, "Are you going to produce the songs that pay for your free living?!"

You took a step back, "I can leave! FUCK THAT! I COULD MOVE OUT IF IT'S SO BAD."

Chan watched as you threw around his things and angrily packed them. 

Chan said, "Y/N." His voice was stern, but it was clear that he was losing his edge.

"Fuck you, Chan. I hate this. We're done. We're not the same, and I won't stay around for this bullshit."

He walked closer, "Y/N." You looked up. His eyes were full of sorrow and boiling anger, "You're not going anywhere."

He pulled you to your shared bedroom and took his shirt off. "Let's shower and talk." You scoffed, "Now you want to talk about it?" Chan said, "Let's truce. I won't say anything until after the shower. Please. I'm exhausted, and I'm tired of arguing with you."

You two have been arguing every other day. It was highly annoying, and you were getting sick of it.

You didn't even know why, but everything Chan did would piss you off, and it was vice versa.

You got in the shower. It was hot, and the water was raining on your face. Chan's big body was behind you, rubbing your back. He kissed your shoulder, and you said, "Chan, no. Not now."

He asked, "What's going on with us?"

You sighed, the shower making you feel more vulnerable than you realized. "I don't know. I really don't want us to be like this."

Chan said, "Yeah? Me too." You felt tears welling in your eyes as you confessed, "I feel like you don't love me anymore."

Chan furrowed his eyebrows and asked, "Why would you think that?" You said defeatedly, "I don't know Chan. We don't go on dates, we don't talk to each other all day, we don't even tell each other we love each other anymore. We've been dating for four years, and it would suck if it was all for nothing."

Chan kissed your shoulder, "I understand."

He kissed your neck and said, "Can I show you how much I love you?"

You said, "Not in here. N-no. We have to talk."

Chan said, "We will. Always. I wanna work this out, too."

You turned around and hugged him. He was so big and warm. He smelled like wood and vanilla. 

"C'mon."

You two got out of the shower and dried up. You sat on the bed and said, "Should we go to therapy?" Chan said, "I wouldn't have the time, and you'd get upset again. Let's talk it out and try not to get mad at each other, yeah?"

You nodded. You two stared at each other with love and affection. You said, "I'm sorry for screaming at you."

Chan said, "I am too. I hate yelling."

You pouted, "I hate arguing." Chan put his hand over yours and said, "You know I love you with all my heart, right?"

You cupped his cheek, "I hope so." 

Chan pulled you onto his lap and kissed your cheek. "Of course I do." You whispered, "I really wanna see my boyfriend. I miss him."

He rolled on top of you and said, "I know baby. Fuck, I love you." He rubbed your cheek. There was so much affection in his eyes as he looked at you. You said, "I don't even want it to get that heated again."

Chan kissed your neck. You gasped, hands tightening around his shoulders. "Can we please?"

Chan whispered, "You don't have to ask." He kissed down your collarbone and rolled your pants down. You perked your hips up so he could reach.

He rolled your panties down and kissed your stomach. You sighed, ready for the head he was about to give you.

He carefully rubbed his thumb over your bud, and a soft exhale left your chest. Chan said, "Just like that baby girl. Breathe."

You hummed. You felt Chan's finger slip in, and your body loosened. His big nose pressed against your clit as he pushed his tongue in your hole with his finger. He collected the slick and swallowed.

Now his mouth was swirling around your clit. You gasped when he sucked. The sound of sucking and slurping makes you shake.

His finger finally moved inside of you. He curled it just right, hitting the spot. You moaned, "More. I need more."

Chan added another finger gently. Your hips rocked into his mouth. Chan moaned into your pussy. The vibration went up your spine. You breathed in, trying not to get too loud and over-dramatic.

Chan knew how loud he could get you if he tried hard enough.

Chan's fingers slowly got more aggressive as he fucked into your soaked cunt. Your moans were shaky. You grabbed his forearm and said, "I'm gonna cum."

Chan hummed. You dove your head back from the vibration. Your pussy clenched around his fingers, and Chan pulled away.

"Awe, you close? So close, right?"

He slipped his fingers out as he watched you suffer. You wanted to cum so badly, but he stopped. 

You reached down to touch yourself, but he grabbed both your wrists and put them above your hand.

He pinned you with one hand as the other unbuckled his pants.

"You ready?" You cried as he slid his hot cock into your hole. Your body relaxed as an exhale left your chest.

His face was inches from yours, breath hot. His eyes looked a lighter brown when he was close. Chan said, "I'm gonna rock your world baby."

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck. Chan rocked into you. His dick hit your hilt with no problem. How you like it.

You moaned when he thrust into you again. You shivered as you confessed, "I feel good." He dove his head down, thrusting loudly and aggressively, "Yeah? You feel all of me?"

You nodded, moaning. Chan smiled, his dimples seeping into his cheeks. He watched as you lost the thoughts behind your head. You said, "You're so big." He laughed, "So good taking all this cock. Stuffing you so good." His voice was husky, and his breath was hot. 

His Australian accent had your pussy clenching around him. Chan groaned as he said, "I'm going to cum if you keep doing that baby."

He adjusted his position and continued his speed. You moaned, "I'm going to cum now!"

Chan went harder. His cock dug into your spot as you balled the sheets in your hand. Your lip caught between your teeth as you cried, "Chan! I'm so close!"

You heard him groan as he fucked back into your pussy. Your back arched as you took him. The knot in your stomach unraveled, and you came around him. 

Chan only went harder, chasing his own high. Your pussy clenched around him as ragged breaths left your throat. Chan wrapped his hand around it and squeezed. 

He stared into your eyes as you lost breath. He was pounding into you as you wept from the overstimulation.

You felt the knot quickly tie in your stomach again as you heard Chan chant, "Take it. Fuck take this big dick, yeah? Tight fucking pussy. So nasty and wet for me."

His thumb rubbed over your bud, furthering your arousal. You were ready to cum at any moment.

You cried out a moan as you felt his dick twitch inside of you. His muscles tensed as he squeezed his eyes shut. Chan groaned out as he came inside of you.

His head dove back. You were shaking underneath him, orgasming again. Chan's grip loosened around your neck. Your hands were tight around his shoulders.

He collapsed into your small frame and sighed.

It was silent for a while. You two needed to collect your breaths and thoughts. 

It ended when Chan said, "We really needed that argument."

You smiled, "We needed the sex too." Chan laughed in agreement. You huffed with the smile never fading. Chan rolled off you and pulled you close to his chest.

"Baby, I never wanna hurt your feelings like that again."

You smiled, "Neither do I." Chan kissed your forehead with love. He started giggling, and you two talked each other to sleep.

[n1k0laa5]

omg NIKO NOOO I'M THE ONE WHO SENT THE ASK ABOUT LETTING GO- I HAVEN'T BEEN ON TUMBLR FOR SOME DAYS AND I DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU FEEL SO DRAINED CAUSE OF THE ASKS, I'M SO SORRY DON'T ANSWER IT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO CHOOSE PEACE OVER PUSHING AND DRAINING URSELF 😭😭😭 TAKE CARE OF URSELF PLS ILYSM DONT DIE U SAVED MY HOPELESS ASS

NO NEED TO SCREAM, PLZ !!!

firstly, my love, i am NOT gonna die. secondly, i saw your ask and i was planning to respond. and i will! right now!

LETTING GO IN SHIFTING

the most misunderstood, bastardized, twisted, watered-down concept in the shifting and manifestation space.

the one that people cling to the hardest while also misunderstanding the most. because somewhere along the way, “letting go” got confused with “giving up,” or “stopping effort,” or worse, “surrendering control.”

and if that’s how you understand it? no wonder your shit’s not working. so let’s get one thing straight from the start:

letting go is not about abandoning your desire and the fact that you’ve shifted.

letting go is about detaching from the lack of it.

you don’t drop the vision. you drop the need. the ache. the obsession with whether it’s here yet. you drop the story that says “i don’t have it.” because if you’re still mentally holding it at arm’s length, obsessively refreshing the thought like a glitchy tab, you are reinforcing the reality in which it’s not yours.

letting go is not passive. it’s not a spiritual shrug. it is decisive as fuck. it is confidence. it’s knowing so deeply that it’s done that you stop babysitting it. stop poking at it. stop waiting around like it owes you an arrival notice. because if you really knew—truly, bone-deep knew—that your shift is already complete, would you keep asking if it’s working?

no.

you’d move on. you’d live.

live it in your 4D. imagine it.

that’s the paradox people can’t seem to grasp: you get it when you stop needing to get it. not because the universe rewards indifference. not because desire is sinful. but because the moment you let go of the resistance around not having it, your perception stops looping the absence and starts stabilizing the presence.

that’s what letting go means.

letting go of resistance.

letting go of checking.

letting go of the version of you who’s still trying.

so. what does this mean practically? how do we do it?

first off, understand this: letting go does not mean you have to stop thinking about your desire. it doesn’t mean you never affirm again. it doesn’t mean you never visualize or script or whatever the fuck floats your metaphysical boat. it means you do those things from knowing, not needing.

there’s a big difference between affirming “i’m already there” and screaming into the void “please let me be there already.” if your affirmations feel like begging, you’re not manifesting. you’re reinforcing lack. and if you try to “let go” by just stopping all your practices while still thinking “maybe if i stop trying it’ll finally happen,” you’re still clinging to it with a white-knuckled grip, just in a reverse psychology outfit.

letting go isn’t about action. it’s about state.

you can be fully immersed in your DR, scripting scenes, feeling the presence of your DR self, while still having “let go.” because your energy is aligned with having, not waiting. your internal system has decided “this is mine,” and everything else is just expression, not grasping.

now, let’s address all the different methods, the techniques, the looping, the panic. SATS, lullaby method, I AM affirmations, void state, raven, daydreaming, subliminals, rampages, intention-setting, even the act of “not using a method” as a method. people treat all these like spells. like switches they’re trying to flip to make it happen. and then they ask “why didn’t it work?” or worse, they stack them all together like fucking Jenga and get frustrated when it all collapses.

but here’s the thing.

methods don’t manifest.

state does.

your methods are tools. they serve one purpose: to bring you into the state of the version of you who already shifted. that’s it. if the method helps you feel that, great. if it makes you spiral more, loop harder, second-guess, obsess, then throw it in the fucking trash. it’s not sacred. nothing is sacred except assumption.

you can let go and still do your method. you can let go and still visualize. the difference is whether you’re doing it because you know you’re there or because you’re terrified you’re not. if you’re trying to get to the state, you’re not in it. if you’re being it, the method becomes an extension, not a ritual.

letting go also doesn’t mean feeling zen and detached like a monk floating above the astral plane. you can let go and still feel messy. still have thoughts. still get pissed off. letting go means you don’t react to those thoughts like they mean something. they pass through and you stay steady in the state.

so let’s get even more concrete. you want to know if you’ve let go?

check your behavior.

are you still checking the clock, the signs, the shifts?

are you still asking “did i do it right?”

are you still watching videos to reassure yourself it’s working?

you haven’t let go.

you’re micromanaging.

but if you can walk away, close the tab, do your method and then literally not care if you did it right—because you know you did—then congrats. you’ve let go. not because you “gave up” but because you’re anchored in the version of you who doesn’t need to ask anymore.

from a psychological lens? this aligns with expectancy theory. we respond to goals with the belief that our actions lead to outcomes. if you expect the outcome as already real, your brain stops treating it like a pursuit and starts encoding it as current identity. from a neuroscience angle, your brain’s default mode network (DMN), the system responsible for imagining, reflecting, and projecting self, literally alters when you assume a new identity without resistance. you don’t need to “wait.” your brain doesn’t need a schedule. it follows belief.

this is also why “letting go” is critical to removing the latency effect in manifestation. if you don’t let go, your assumption is constantly being contradicted by your “where is it?” energy. you’re broadcasting mixed signals. your brain loops the absence because that’s what you’re paying attention to. and remember, attention is currency in this game. what you focus on is what you stabilize.

want to speed it up? stop rehearsing the lack.

want to see it now? stop asking where it is.

you let go by assuming it’s here. you let go by refusing to chase. you let go by knowing. and when you truly know, you don’t argue with yourself about it. you don’t stalk your results. you live from it.

and this isn’t about pretending either. not acting like it’s true just to get it. that’s performance. letting go is embodiment. it’s collapsing the gap between desire and reality by eliminating the mental space that says “this is something that still needs to happen.”

let me say it another way:

you let go by becoming the version of you who never had to let go in the first place.

because the shift already happened.

because the you who’s shifted isn’t wondering how to let go.

they’re just being.

and the truth is, that version is always available.

you don’t work toward them.

you choose them.

and once you’ve chosen?

you stop looking over your shoulder to see if it worked.

you stop playing tug-of-war with proof.

you stop treating manifestation like a negotiation.

you say: “this is mine.”

and then you fucking live like it is.

without fanfare.

without checking.

without pause.

because that is what letting go is.

it’s not silence.

it’s certainty.

[woundedsoul12]

Illario Summer Week

I know I'm not really invited to this party but like Maleficent I brought a gift anyway. None of the prompts really inspired me so have a slightly NSFW treat. For my darling @lustaniasaxon

Brick is my trans!man. Lustania is her Trans!woman. And Illario? He's just fucked

“Tell me what she sees in you!” Illario's voice is a growl as he rounds on the larger man. This Brick who has stolen his Sirena away.

“Wouldn't you like to know?” he chuckles with that insolent smirk. Blue eyes flashing warning as he doesn't back down.

“She loves me!” The Crow pouts as he takes a wild swing. Fist meeting with air as Brick easily steps aside. Why does he have to be so good? Better in every way as he dodges out of reach without so much as a pant.

“I think you've had enough to drink bud,” Brick hums as he nods to the half empty bottle. Serving to only anger Illario further as he's easily dismissed. “Let's get you to bed. Before you do something we will both regret.” Those words hang in the air between them as the larger man slowly steps forward. A long look down the Crow's body that makes Illario pause for the briefest of moments before he seethes again. Ignoring the way hungry eyes linger on him as he lunges once more.

“I don't need sleep.” Another punch is thrown and another miss almost makes him fall flat. This time Brick frowns in annoyance at the smaller man's anger. Grabbing him by his shirt to keep him on his feet.

“Well you are certainly getting nowhere acting like this. What would your cousin say if he saw you right now?”

That is the wrong thing to say. The wrong nerve to hit. And Illario launches himself at the larger man as they both tumble to the ground. Arms and legs flailing Brick seems to cushion their fall. A fact Illario can't even process as he blindly swings in drunken rage.

“She. Is. MINE!”

Brick easily catches the blows as Illario aims for his face. Overpowering the smaller Crow before flipping him to his back. Rough hands grabbing wrists as he's shoved to the floor. The air knocked from his lungs as he's helplessly pinned.

“Last time I checked, little bird,” he hisses through gritted teeth. Finally done with this game as he presses Illario beneath his weight. He's tried to be nice but he's had enough now. And he has his own ideas as he licks his lips and stares down. “It's my name she's screaming at night in our bed. But maybe you want to know what it's like to be fucked by a real man.”

The Crow sucks in a breath as he looks up at the man looming over him. The wine heavy on both tongues as the air shifts between them.

“You wouldn't,” Illario challenges as Brick's grip on him loosens. Leaning back with a chuckle as he fishes for something in his front pocket.

“Call her and ask,” he says as he slings his phone on the Crow's chest. Illario's mouth falling open as Brick simply looks down at him and adds, “Come on, you talk a big game. If she's really still yours, she won't mind if we share.”

He considers the dare for far longer than he should. This man is his enemy. His rival in all. Without him surely Lust would be with him once again.

But there's something to be said for a man so bold. One who doesn't back down. One unafraid of the world. A sliver of respect growing as he holds the phone in his hand. Along with flickering desire as he debates his next move.

But his mind is finally made up with one action from Brick. The man tired of waiting as he watches his prey. A subtle shift of his hips as he rocks back with a satisfied hum.

“What are you waiting for, little bird?” he snaps with a teasing tone. The seam of his jeans brushing along Illario's hardening length as he calls the smaller man out with a grin. “You can't lie to me now, so you might as well call her.”

The Crow's cheeks color with shame, but he's never been a coward. A snarl escaping his chest as he pushes her number. But his jaw going slack as Brick leans down and admits with a whisper, “I have been curious to know why she still misses you, little bird. But I will be so glad to learn both your secrets soon enough.”

[the-fox-with-no-name]

Neil gets turned into a Bunny Part 1

"so let me get this straight," Renee started at the other side of the call. Nicky tries to breathe as his stress and frustration erupts like a volcano of tears and pain. "Neil pissed off... from what you just said, a player from an opposing team from last night's game, who turns out is a witch, and puts a curse on Neil?"

Nicky can hear the laugh reaching in Renee's voice. She thinks this is either a joke or something. This is seriously, super serious on how the room looks like behind Nicky now.

"Yes and now... Neil, got turned... into a bunny!" Nicky squeaks the last word, letting it sink in for the born again christian to comprehend. "And he is destroying the place."

Phone line became muffled, he knew Renee is losing her shit over it. Shouldn't have called her, this was stupid, this entire situation is stupid... so fucking stupid.

"so... what I'm-" she is repressing a laugh, "suppose to do?" Renee asks as sweetly as possible.

Frantically as his arm wave and point, as if there is an audience or Renee is was here with him. "I don’t know, do you guys have a reverse, or a blessing super magic in your arsenal for this sorts of things. Please we need help Neil is bouncing around like crazy, I thought it was cute but no he is a monster!"

"Nicky, I'm a christian, not miracle worker." Renee responds.

"Well I need a miracle right now, Andrew is gone, and Kevin in on defense mode with a black eye from a flying potato!"

"Andrew is not there, where did he go?" Renee ask.

"I don't know probably hunting the bitch or finding ingredients to make rabbit stew." Nicky tells her.

There was a long pause, probably trying to catch her breathe. She clears her throat, "well I have matt and Dan run to the pet store and find something, Ill be there soon. [click]"

Nicky stood there, eyes looking to the window for hope. His thousand yard stare is hard and still watching the fun and life in the streets before him. He could be outside, or going out to eat and have a phone date with Erik. No, he is now trapped in the house that became hell and the crimson devil bunny, bouncing around knocking down everything in his path.

Nicky starts running to catch the lamp, "Neil for the love of God, stop HOPPING." he screams. The rabbit, Neil, leaps onto the kitchen counter, knocking over a box of cereal. Golden flakes scatter like confetti like broken dreams.

"That’s the third box this week! You are literally the worst pet I've ever had." He groans.

Aaron walks in through the front door with groceries in one hand and a monster energy drink on the other just in time to see Neil launch himself off the counter and out of sight. Aaron froze, very confused what he just saw, he shakes his head and checks his drink, sniff it, and looks up. "What the hell is going on?"

Nicky panting trying to catch his breath, "This idiot got himself cursed or something and now he’s a rabbit from hell."

Aaron eye brows lifts up "So the usual, but now he’s just... fuzzy."

Neil hops back in, holding a baby carrot in his mouth like a cigar. He pauses, he locks eyes with Aaron, Aaron closes the front door and clicks it locked and eases his drink and bags down... Neil bolts again.

"grab him" Nicky screams

Aaron dives forward and miraculousl catches him. "Gotcha, you little bastard!"

A beat of silence. Neil, wriggles, his ears twitching. He bites Aarons hand, causing his grip to loosen and then, BAM! He unleashes an unholy flurry of tiny feet against Aaron’s chest, ribs and face, rapid-fire like a jackhammer.

"OW, HEY! STOP! WHY DOES HE KICK SO" HARD?" Aaron falls backward with a loud thud, holding his ribs while the other arm covering his face. Neil escapes by bouncing off Aaron's stomach like a trampoline and scurried away.

Nicky dumbfounded, jaw to the floor "You just got dropkicked by a bunny. How does that feel?"

From the floor, Aaron eyes sharply look directly at Nicky "Shut up."

Neil looks up and his little foot reaches to scratch his ears like nothing happened. Nicky slowly tiptoes to close in on Neil but before Nicky moves. Neil scurried over to Aarons energy drink, his front paw reaches over to the pop tab and pulls it down. The liquid spills all over the floor and he zooms out.

"oh goddamnit!" Aaron said grabbing his shoe to throw and miss Neil by a mile.

Neil hops onto the dining table, eyes the fruit bowl, then grabs an apple in his tiny mouth and catapulted it across the room. It narrowly misses Kevin, who just walked in, with helmet and exy armor. "did I miss any thing?"

"Other then Neil ninja kicking Aaron and spilling his drink on purpose, and throwing fruit? no not much." Nicky boasted before turn towards Neil he is sitting there, blues eyes staring at his soul and nose wiggling. "I swear they look cute in pictures and videos."

Kevin turns his head at Nicky "seriously, rabbits are vicious little things. Have you read Watership Down?"

Nicky eyes are on Kevin, "never mentioned that to me again. I hate the movie as it is."

Kevin look around, peaking in to the kitchen "Where is Andrew?"

"I don’t know, hiding, or looking up rabbit stew recipes."

Neil glares at them all, from atop the fridge now, flinging the snacks all over the place like tiny grenades. Nick ducks as a flying cashew bag is catapulted at his direction.

"Alright, anyone who captures Neil before he Destroys the Apartment gets 100 bucks!"

Aaron still on the floor crawls over and grabs his exy racquet, "I’m not going near that demon again. keep the fucking money"

Neil makes eye contact with Nick. He narrows his little bunny eyes... and flips the bowl over with a single defiant paw.

Then rabbit vanishes into the air vents with a squeaky war cry and Kevin silently opens his protein shake like nothing happened.

[arthur-lesters-music-stand]

I wrote in this post about all the fun ways Arthur can have OCD. Now I'm going to really get into the kind I think he would have, if he had it: Religious OCD. It holds so much angst potential, it's honestly pretty amazing. If this is a triggering topic for you in any way, feel free to skip this post. Otherwise, enjoy my ramblings.

Okay, to get it out of the way, there's a reason why I'm choosing religious OCD over the other kinds I discussed (harm, existential, relationship, and responsibility). Those four are handled so much differently than his religious feelings in the canon. Mostly that he just doesn't get hung up on these things too much? They come up occasionally, when relevant. Arthur gets upset about them when the topic is actually upsetting. Pretty standard stuff. Religion seems to be the only one he genuinely has complicated feelings on, and dwells on thinking about semi-regularly. So let's make it worse for him!

To set the stage, imagine Arthur, who was raised by cultist parents, given as a ward to a church run orphanage, and grows to despise religion. Maybe those feelings are tempered with age and maturity, but he loathes how much religion is pushed onto him growing up. But more than that, he absolutely fucking hates how much his body seems to want to lean into it, how his mind drifts towards those thoughts like it's second nature. He is at war with himself over a faith he doesn't actually have every single day.

Arthur who mutters prayers under his breath. He says certain lines over and over until he gets the pronunciation and emphasis exactly right, because it won't work if he doesn't. It's supposed to stave off the pressure of his hardest cases, in case he fails, but all it does is pose a distraction to make things worse.

Arthur who had prayer beads growing up, always rubbing them with his thumb in his pocket. When he became old enough to emigrate on his own, he took the first ship away from his church orphanage he could. He didn't expect to feel torn up about losing the prayer beads on the way. Arthur told himself he was grown up enough to not need those old things anyway. Even years after the fact, he finds himself reaching into his pocket to toy with the beads that are no longer there.

Arthur who clashed with Daniel about differing religious beliefs from the beginning. But what Daniel didn't know was how much Arthur didn't just not believe, but actually hated himself for acting like he did. Arthur can't stand him pushing him to do exactly what those horrid thoughts tell him to do, which is to submit to his God and embrace Christ as his savior. Arthur doesn't believe anyone is ever coming to save him; but he can never shake the feeling that he needs saving from himself, and the despair of being doomed for eternity, and that he at least must try.

Arthur who can't ever seem to quite meet a priest's eyes. Every muscle in his body screams at him that he's irredeemably sinful. He'll tarnish holy things with his mere presence. If he looks into their eyes then God will make them just KNOW what a terrible person he is.

John can't tell what rules he's supposed to follow about church because of this. It's respectful to acknowledge people but Arthur avoids priests? Why isn't he allowed to look too much at them? What's so wrong about taking a priest by the hand, they seem so kindly??

Then Oscar comes along. Maybe Arthur actually feels glee at meeting THIS particular priest. He's just as bad as Arthur, and the PI feels he can finally get one over on his type. Oscar is a liar, an accomplice, and a heavy drinker. Not so saintly or holier than thou now, is he?

But then Oscar explains how he DID try to take out a corrupt priest, once. And he's trying his best to help everyone. And he wishes he weren't this way. And Arthur just fucking spirals. Because now, not only is Oscar a priest, but for all his mess and faults, he's genuinely a good person, leagues better than Arthur could ever be. His compulsions get worse, fighting off the ridiculous thought that God must really hate him and he's damned for Hell, because he doesn't even believe in any of that shit, dammit!!

Arthur has to fight with himself constantly about the obsession of God hating him personally, and the intrusive thoughts of what a bad person he is and what he should do to self-flagellate about it. It's dumb, unprecedented for a man to care this much about doctrine he doesn't believe in, scripture he doesn't follow!

John catches and stops Arthur, once, when he starts reopening a scar with his own nails on purpose. He asks what he was doing? Arthur can't possibly explain, but maybe he tries anyway. That he swears he can feel God distance Himself from him for all his misdeeds, and he must repent. Then he vents about how much he hates being this way. And John, perhaps still a bit comfortable with the idea of being the King in Yellow again, offers to make himself the voice of God for Arthur, personally.

John now commands Arthur to redirect his thoughts and behaviors this way and that. Should Arthur ever be unable to comply, it's grounds for another one of their classic divorces. It's humiliating for Arthur to be subjected to this kind of scrutiny and oversight by the "fucking parasite" in his head, but hey, it's better than the one that literally exists in his thoughts.

Arthur who never really gets "better", because that's never how it works with these things. But he learns a slightly different way of handling it. It's technically less self-destructive than what he was doing before, and at least now he's not alone, so he counts it as a win.

Arthur with Religious OCD!

[etvdes]

being with her had been like a rollercoaster– like he could see all of the pitfalls and problems before him but he was powerless to change course. maybe that was why she found him so exhausting and why she couldn't stand him now. because they were both looking constantly staring at all the ways he would drag them down. after all, what did they have if not their misery. they knew that it was exhausting for her– they could see it on her face every time they locked that door. but didn't she know it was exhausting for them? didn't she know that they didn't want to shut that door, that there was no choice for them. he had never been able to find it in himself to whether the storm in his mind, let alone let anyone else in about it. he really tried with moira. she made it seem like he never tried ANYTHING but he was trying. it felt like everything in him was screaming at him not to push her away. but they didn't know how to do that. honesty was never really at the top of his priority list. tyler wasn't sure what she wanted from him. he didn't know HOW to be what she needed. he never had. maybe that's why they were here. right now. "what THE FUCK do you want from me moira?" they ask, and they can't tell if their eyes are welling with tears or they're just frustrated. "do you want me to tell you to stay?" it stings like an accusation, "THAT NO ONE EVER DOES?" god, tyler, stop talking. "what the fuck am i supposed to do? please fuckin' enlighten me. because i don't know WHY the fuck you're here, other than to have another fuckin' go at me?" tanned hands clench into fists and unclench, like the pattern is the only thing keeping his breathing even. "was it too hard to go without kicking me one my fuckin' time while i'm down?"

being with tyler had felt like walking through an endless thunderstorm. exciting at first, to feel something soak through the skin, the lightning striking between them as often as the thunder rolled. but then the sunny days had never come. it was always more clouds on the horizon, more rain, and the excitement had come and gone, replaced by a dreary feeling of being stuck in a flood. sure, lightning did strike still between them, now and then, and it was incomparable to what she felt with anyone else. but she had grown so very tired of the being left alone, of the disappearing. of mopping the traces of the latest rain shower alone, without knowing when it would end. and it had ended like clouds being blown away in the sky. quietly, both walled-up in their silence until there was no relationship anymore. eyes perked up at the greek, recognizing something that sounded like leave me alone, the lilt at the end similar to a question.

even now they couldn't just speak, plainly, and ask. had to resort to greek, to blaming her, to pushing back until one of them left. but now that leaving was very much on the table, moira wanted to linger a bit more through the thunderstorm. "sure, as if i'm not busy. still found the time to text, to call, to let you know i am alive, didn't i?" eyes rolled, and despite how she felt, her body was pulled to him, moving closer, wanting - needing to face him. "i'm done, ty. i'm going back home, forever." she spoke, the words making her breath hitch. "so you'll be happy to know i won't be around to suffocate you and piss you off anymore, right? good fucking riddance." she growled, because the other option was allowing herself to feel sad, to feel anything, and she didn't want to give tyler the satisfaction, not when he'd never been able to give her anything.

[smolmakerel]

"You can't leave me! I won't let you!"

"Christina, lo juro por Dios [I swear to God], get the fuck out of my way or -"

"Or what? You'll hit me? Hit me then! Give me a reason to call the cops!"

"Mamá?!"

"You're fucking crazy! Just like that bastard's father!"

"Don't talk about him like that!"

Tara curled up under the kitchen table, one of her favorite hide-and-seek spots because of the table cloth. She couldn't understand what her parents were screaming about, Sammy piping in every once in a while, but she knew she didn't like it.

It sounded scary.

With caution, Tara lifted the cream table cloth and peaked up.

Mamá was beating her fists against Papi's chest, face creased in rage. Sammy was fighting to place herself between the two, but neither of the two noticed.

Tara flinched when Sammy was shoved out of the way by their papá. She scrambled out from beneath the table and stood, unsure, behind her mamá.

"¿Mamá? ¿Papá?" Tara uttered. Both of her padres² stopped arguing and turned to her, and she shifted awkwardly. "¿Esta todo bien?" [Mom? Dad? Is everything ok?]

Papi's eyes softened while his shoulders sagged. "Sí, no te preocupes. Me quedaré con mis padres por el momento si quieres venir conmigo." [Yes, don't worry. I'm going to stay with my parents for the time being if you want to come with me.]

Tara blinked in confusion. Why was her papi leaving? Why did it sound like he didn't want to take Mamá or Sammy with them?

Before Tara could ask, Mamá was screaming again. She slammed her palms over her ears with a whimper. She never did like whenever they fought.

"Stop fighting!" Sammy cried out. "Can't you see that Tara's scared?!"

Papi narrowed his eyes. "Shut your bastard mouth!"

Sammy took a wounded step backwards.

Papi's eyes then went wide. He looked between Mamá and Sammy, then he turned his eyes to Tara.

"Is she even mine?"

"Listen -"

"Tell me the fucking truth for once in your miserable fucking life, ¡puta!" Papi roared out, and it shook the house into silence.

Mamá looked away. "Of course she is."

"... I don't believe you."

Tara stumbled out of the way when Papi shoved her out of the way. She followed behind the small group and gasped when she saw Papi's business suitcase full of clothes sitting on his leather recliner.

"¡Papi!" Tara began to cry, finally realizing what was happening. "¡Por favor no te vayas!" [Please don't go!]

Papi continued to pack up despite Mamás furious threats of calling the police, Sam's panic at the escalating situation, and Tara's full-blown meltdown.

Tara was close to hyperventilating as she threw her body at her papá and clung to his leg. He tried to shake her off, but she held tightly to his gray slacks.

She was the last person he was with when they both heard yelling coming from the master bedroom. Papi had begged her to clean her room and get ready for bed, going as far as to bribe her with a homemade caramel flan. But then he abruptly left.

The yelling only increased in volume, and, after an hour, Tara crept downstairs to hide out.

Was this her fault somehow?

"P-Papi, por favor -" she wheezed, chest constricting. She could barely breathe, let alone get her words out properly.

Hands roughly shoved her away, and Tara stared up at her Papi in horror. He stared back with an equally distraught expression.

"Tara," he gasped. "Lo lamento -" [I'm sorry -]

Mamá burst into a fit of rage.

Tara sat on the floor for the rest of the night. She blocked out the rest of her parents' argument and sat there. She sat there while her Papi left them.

He slammed the door. He never slammed the door.

Sammy tried to help her. Tara took the inhaler but remained on the floor by the stairs, watching the door for when Papi would come back.

He never did.

[philcoulsonismyhero]

I keep getting rejected from conventions that I've been doing for multiple years this year and I heard on Friday that I didn't get Scotland Comic Con, which I've relied on for the last two years to be able to pay my fucking rent over the winter when there's no events, and it makes me want to scream because what the fuck am I supposed to do about it?? I'm making new stuff reasonably regularly, I make really good sales when I get into cons, I go out of my way to be reliable and show up on time and do everything they want exhibitors to do, and it's just flat rejection after flat rejection, sometimes without even the courtesy of a spot on a waiting list or a cursory 'sorry, we got a lot of applicants and we've got limited space'.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I don't think I even am doing anything wrong, I'm just getting repeatedly fucked over by event organisers who just see me as a way of increasing their own ticket sales rather than a human being trying to make a living.

And, like, part of me gets that I've been doing this for a while and folks who are new to it deserve a chance to get a foot in the door, but my ability to be charitable runs out when the biggest convention in the country decides no, we don't have enough room in our fuck-off huge venue for everyone so bye, fuck you, that ~15% of your yearly income that you rely on making at this con is just going up in smoke.

I like doing conventions, I'm good at it and it's fun, but it's getting Really Fucking Stressful to have my ability to eat and pay bills decided increasingly arbitrarily by the same five events companies who don't seem to give the slightest shit about anyone.

And I don't know what to do about it because the reason I'm doing this is because I'm too fucking autistic to get a real job, and I got kicked to the kerb by the benefits lot a few years ago because that system's fucking broken too, and the more effort I put in the less work I seem to actually get and frankly I want to fucking break something

[youjustcannotknow]

the weight of the world has crushed me flat on this fine afternoon

[autumnday19]

Fucking tired of being nice rn if you're subtly rude to me I am clapping back I'm done

[bluesey-182]

look, my dad is not a perfect man and he's not faultless in how disfunctional my parent's marriage is but at the same time I've been watching my mom bully him my whole life and now that my man-hating oma is living there with them it's even worse because now they tag team to make him miserable and it makes me so fucking angry

[running-in-the-dark]

and I'm having thoughts again

so I've been watching that John Larroquette interview that I reblogged on repeat for half an hour now and I'm just. man I am so very....... okay I'm trying not to say that I'm stupid anymore but god what else is there to say. it's making me feel like my brain just turns off and all there is is static and [insert very high frequency screaming sound].

like I would love to be able to have actual thoughts about this shit but I am not. I just love love love people who think about shit and face their issues and work on getting better. and talk about it. like it's just a thing that happened. because it is. it's not 'oh you did bad shit in your past so you're fucked forever now'. it's 'bad shit happened, I did bad things, I confronted it, I made different choices' and that's it. I just. man I'm feeling really emotional and am probably gonna have a good long cry about this now.