#right before the almost kiss pining scene
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hyperionwitch-art · 2 years ago
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You know the kind of conversations you have, late at night with a close friend, when you're tired enough to be uninhibited but you can't bring yourself to sleep just yet?
Yeah, I don't know, I got possessed by the spirit of yearning a few weeks ago, wrote a scene in a fugue, and then went feral turning it into a comic. But frankly I am always low-key thinking about Pining Kids, so really this should come as no surprise.
Tev/Dren Masterpost
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peachsukii · 5 months ago
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₊✩‧₊ ⎯ drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar
It was one time…until it wasn’t. You and Bakugo were both single, what’s the harm in sleeping with your best friend?
content // 18+ MDNI! I had the phrase “midnight drives & backseat secrets” tucked away in my notes app that inspired this. college au (20s), semi-public sex (cock warming/unprotected sex, cream pie, cum eating), best friends with benefits, pet names (baby), idiots in love, mutual pining, cutesy awkward confessions, soft bakugo. I just can't get enough of friends to lovers, especially bfwb to lovers.
wc // 2.2k + crossposted to ao3 『 k.bakugo masterlist 』
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[12:07am] Katsuki: Out front, get your ass down here.
The car radio hums in the background, the cool breeze sneaking in through the cracked windows and into the backseat against your bare skin.
Bakugo’s sweats are tucked under his thighs, shirt hanging over the driver’s seat as you hover in his lap, topless with your panties pushed to the side. His hands glide up the backs of your thighs and over the swell of your ass, settling at your hips as he guides you to be fully seated on his cock. You adjust to the stretch of him with ease, relishing in the heat swirling in your abdomen as he moans contently.
You two have done this song and dance before, plenty of times, actually. Initially, it was a one time thing, something you two casually stumbled into during one of your weekly movie nights (thanks to one steamy sex scene in said movie). You’re both single, have been best friends for years, and are more than comfortable with each other - what could go wrong? You agreed to keep it casual...and a secret.
That opened the flood gates for you two and led to sex happening any and everywhere; in the backseat of Bakugo’s car after a study session, the bar bathroom when you were both tipsy, the closet of a house party, stumbling into each other’s beds and touching each other until you couldn’t keep your eyes open.
And it worked, almost a little too well.
Why?
Because you had one rule - no kissing on the lips. As long as the two of you never kissed, it wasn’t intimate, and therefore didn’t cross your friendship line.
“Did…you finish that assignment for Aizawa’s lecture?” You ask breathlessly as Bakugo’s lips trail up the side of your neck. He chuckles against your skin before leaning back with an amused smirk and roll of his hips.
“Are ya really gonna ask about that now?”
Lying wasn’t your strong suit. Bakugo always saw right through you whenever you tried, even little white lies. “Just popped into my head.”
He pauses, holding you still and arching his brows curiously. “Nah, s'not like you. What's goin' on?”
Truth be told, the causal conversation helped keep the unending desire to break your stupid rule, begging your heart to let those feelings be fucked out of your system with time. It backfired tremendously, only making you fall harder for him over the last few months. You were the one who initiated the first time; this is a hell you've created for yourself.
Why was it catching up with you tonight?
Bakugo's fingers release from your hips and move to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. "C'mon, y'should know by now ya can't lie to me. What's swimmin' around in that head a'yours?"
"It's stupid," you sigh, trying to lift yourself out of his lap when he grabs you by the waist, compulsively pulling you back onto his cock until you were completely stuffed full of him.
"Nuh uh, stay put," he mumbles low, biting his lip while a strawberry blush creeped across his cheeks and over the bridge of his nose. “You feel too fuckin' good right now.”
“Can’t get enough of me?” you tease, laughing while you ruffle his hair and wiggle in his lap. Bakugo smacks at one of your boobs in retaliation, cackling when you dramatically huff and pinch his nipple.
"Stop it, brat!" he laughs, squeezing your sides until you can't breathe from your own laughter. "Spit it out already!"
Why was play fighting while his dick was inside you so…hot?
"Okay! Okay, fine," you stammer, catching your breath and collecting yourself. "D-don't stare at me when I say it."
Bakugo snickers before pinching your cheeks lovingly, forcing you to meet his fiery gaze. "Oh, so bein' face first in your tits and balls deep in you is fine, but eye contact is where ya draw the line?"
"Oh my god, don't say it like that!" You glow scarlet, spreading down your neck to your chest.
"Like y'don't say dirty ass shit when I fuck—"
"Fuck this stupid game we're playing!" you blurt out, titling his chin upward and tracing his bottom lip with your thumb. "I...wanna kiss you, Katsuki, so goddamn badly. And if I do, I know I'm not gonna be able to stop."
He can't help the smile that tugs at the corners of his mouth, and he prays you can’t hear the booming bass of his heartbeat. What he can’t hide was how your words shot straight to his dick, twitching while his need to fuck you senseless was being drowned out by the newfound yearning to make sweet love to you instead. Bakugo always thought the mushy lovey-dovey saying about time standing still in moments like these was a crock of shit until now.
He kisses the pad of your thumb, his breath fanning over your fingertip as he whispers, "Maybe I don't want ya to stop.”
Your heart flutters so violently it travels into your stomach and twists into the white-hot pleasure brewing in your belly. Before you can chicken out, you swoop down to press a kiss to his lips, the two of you fitting together like lost puzzle pieces. Only a few seconds pass before you break apart, leaving you both spellbound by the electricity flowing through your bodies.
“Get up,” Bakugo orders while patting your thighs, adrenaline spiking and breaking out in a sweat. “Move upfront with me.”
You don’t second guess his suggestion and peel yourself away from his lap. The sheen of slick coating his cock catches your eye as you hop over the middle console and into the front seat, a lightning strike traveling straight to your soaked center, clit throbbing with anticipation. Once you click the little mechanism under the passenger seat, it shifts and creates an ample amount of space in front of you. Bakugo shimmies out of his sweats completely before carefully maneuvering himself over the console and settles into the space. You’re not exactly sure what’s happening until he finds the recline button, sending you catapulting backwards and into a fit of laughter when your head comically bounces off the headrest.
“Shit,” he chuckles, fingers hooking into the band of your panties. “You good?”
“I’m fine, Kats,” you exhale, lifting yourself off the seat enough for him to slide the underwear over your thighs and off your ankles. “But uh, I don’t wanna get your seats dirty, isn’t that why we never do—”
“Don’t give a shit right now,” Bakugo interrupts as he crawls onto the seat in between your legs, kissing any inch of skin he finds along the way; calf, thigh, hip, stomach, chest, shoulder, neck, and finally your cheek. Each touch is slow, gentle, the total opposite of everything you’d ever done before. He pauses, the embers in his vermillion eyes ignited with passion as he studies your face, fixated on your plush lips while lowering his body against yours. You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until it’s stolen away, a desperate gasp for air as his leaky tip sinks back into your pussy with ease, only stopping when his hips are flush with your own.
“C’mon baby, keep your word and don’t stop,” Bakugo mutters before crashing his lips onto yours, moaning into your mouth when you squeeze his cock in response at the pet name.
Baby.
The world around you fades into a blur, your entire body ablaze as your tongues intertwine, savoring the newly broken threshold of your friendship. His leisurely thrusts are driving you absolutely insane, more than you ever thought was possible. Were you dreaming? No, there's no way you'd be able to replicate the euphoria engulfing your entire being.
"F-fuck, Katsuki!" you whine between broken kisses, unable to keep his name from spilling out. You grip a fistful of his blonde locks in one hand while digging your nails into his back with the other, overwhelmed with the ecstasy filling your veins. You swear you hear him growl in response, muffled by the repetitive open mouth kisses.
"Say it again."
"Katsuki," you repeat, emphasizing every syllable while biting his bottom lip, earning a loud and gravely moan from Bakugo that you happily swallow in the heat of your make out. He snaps his hips into yours again to stroke every inch of himself, consumed by the sensation of your tight cunt milking him so sweetly. He breaks the kiss briefly to catch his breath, leaving him panting into your neck, thighs clenched and eyes screwed shut.
"Kats-shit...Katsuki, I—"
Before you can get another word out, Bakugo's lips are back on yours, drinking up all your little moans and whimpers. You're squirming beneath him, all of the built up pleasure ready to burst like a dam. Without moving, he somehow sinks ever so slightly deeper into you, pushing you past your breaking point. Breathless, he manages to whisper, “Let go, baby…m’right behind ya,” before slipping his tongue languidly into your mouth. Your back arches further into his body, every muscle contracting in synch as your release implodes, the inferno in your belly no longer tamable. The spasming of your walls around his dick immediately has Bakugo's orgasm rocketing out, endless ropes of cum glazing your insides and mixing with your own arousal. The two of you breathe heavily between gentle pecks, chests squished against one another over the thin layer of sweat forming between your bodies.
"Holy...shit," you giggle, pushing the dampened blonde strands away from his forehead.
He caresses your cheek, a cheesy smile plastered on his lips. "Y-yeah, holy shit."
A trickle of warmth seeps out of you, threatening to stain the fabric of the passenger seat. "I told you we'd make a mess."
Bakugo grins while pinching your cheek. "And I said I don't care. I'll clean it later."
The two of you sit in silence, savoring the afterglow in each other's arms. Why the hell did you two wait so long to kiss? Because holy shit, that may have been the best orgasm you've ever had and you barely touched each other.
"I know we did this shit backwards," he starts, pausing to kiss your forehead. "But I wanna earn ya the right way."
"You don't need to earn me," you say with a smile. "You've always had me, Kats."
He shakes his head. "No, I want to. I'm takin' you out tonight, dinner and whatever you else ya want. Movies, dancing, driving around the city until the sun comes up, anythin'. You name it, we'll do it. Wear that black dress I bought ya for your birthday."
"Okay, baby. Sounds nice."
Bakugo groans and drops his head onto your shoulder, hiding his sudden bashfulness. He playfully nibbles on your collarbone to make you squirm, knowing it's one of your sensitive spots. "Shut it or dinner will be burgers from the campus cafeteria!"
"Alright, I'll stop teasing you. Can we get dressed and go sleep in an actual bed?" you ask, patting him on the back. "We've got that stupid lecture at 9 and it's almost 1AM."
"You would still be thinkin' about that with my goddamn cum leakin' out of you. You're a freak, baby," he teases, nuzzling your nose before pulling out of you and letting the remainder of his spend drip down your ass and onto the seat. Bakugo kneels in the open space, watching all the liquid flow from your used hole. "Won't ever get sick of seein' that, though. Maybe dinner will gift me the chance of eatin' you out."
"Oh my god!" you yell, kicking his shoulder with your foot. "You don't need to have it gifted, jackass. You get boyfriend privileges now, unless you don't want them."
"Oh yeah?" he taunts, gripping your ankles and pulling you forward to the edge of the seat, setting your thighs on his shoulders. "Sit back, princess. Can't let this go to waste if that's the case."
"Katsu-ahh!" you squeal as Bakugo's tongue dips into your creamy folds, gathering the mixture of cum to present to you from between your thighs. The strings of spit and spend hanging from his lips and tongue leaves you speechless as he tilts his head back, letting it dribble down the back of his throat, crimson eyes locked on yours. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before kissing your inner thigh as a gesture of thanks.
Holy fucking shit.
"Mm, sweeter than I dreamed you'd be. Let's get goin' and we'll shower at my place," Bakugo quips, reaching over you and into the back seat to grab his sweats. "If you're good, I'll even make ya breakfast before our lecture tomorrow."
You're on cloud nine, somewhat delirious as you grab your own clothes from the backseat, lazily throwing them on and adjusting the passenger seat back to normal. Once you're upright, you give Bakugo a nod to start the car and go back to his apartment.
Things will never be the same between the two of you, that's for sure. But you know what? It's exhilarating, and you couldn't wait to explore the unknown avenues of love with your best friend.
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@slayfics @maddietries @starieq @liluvtojineteyam @jays-adventure3  @simp-plague
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wonustars · 5 days ago
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In Front of Me (2)
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cause i was blind to see that you were right in front of me ₊˚
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⊹ pairing: jeon wonwoo x f.reader ⊹ genre: bestfriends to (?), angst, smut (R: 18+ mdni) ⊹ wordcount: 40.6k (part 1: here) (part 2)
⊹ summary: jeon wonwoo has spent most of his adolesence and early adult hood unable to understand why he can't seem to stay in a relationship for more than a few months. as his best friend, you allowed him to vent about his worries without judgment. so what if you're in love with him? your friendship with wonwoo meant more to you than having your feelings reciprocated. that is until you hit your breaking point, while wonwoo finally realizes what has been in front of him this whole time.
⊹ tags: non-idol!au, uni!au, unrequited love (for the most part), pining, toxic!wonwoo, toxic!reader, both in wonwoo and readers pov, questionable protagonists, mentions of other svt members, happy ending (?), emotionally constipated characters (wonwoo), flashbacks, slight seokmin x reader, a lot of emotions thrown everywhere. (smut and content warnings under the cut)
⊹ note: here is pt.2 i hope you like how this ended :) thank you for reading ♡ please leave a reblog, comment, or ask with your thoughts, i appreciate u !
⊹ masterlist, fic playlist.
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⊹ smut tags: dry humping, kissing, fingering, penetrative sex, corruption kink, degradation, dom!wonwoo, brat!reader, virgin!reader,oral (f. receiving), creampie, exhibitionsm (?), slightly perv!wonwoo undertones, petnames (reader: darling, baby) (wonwoo: baby), big dick wonwoo, riding, headlock (this is a warning actly). ⊹ warnings: alcohol, reader is downbad for wonwoo, stalking, slut-shaming, evasions of privacy, if i missed anything lmk! cuz ik i did i just can't think of what hehe :p
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act two, self control.
chapter one, before the fight. 
The booth you sat in was far too cramped for your liking, yet there was a sense of relief that washed over you. Raval had been a go-to hang-out spot after all the tireless hours spent studying during the weekdays. The atmosphere was lively, your friends’ laughter drowning out most of your thoughts. 
Tonight also marked the first time in your life that you could fully enjoy a night out with your friends. Without Wonwoo’s presence clouding your worries. 
Despite his obvious plea for attention, you felt like you could finally breathe. The adjustment and decision to flat-out ignore him was difficult, but thanks to Seokmin it had become a little easier to bear over time. This past week was filled with more joy than you’ve had in a long time. And Seokmin had been extremely doting towards you throughout it all. 
“Babe, can you pass the pistachios please?” Jun pouts, his cheeks red from his third glass of beer. 
“Did you need me to peel them for you, baby?” June coos, lips curling into a cutesy tone. 
With a quizzical expression, Mingyu turns to Kalia, trying not to laugh at the other couple's foolishness. The two share a look before Kalia fake gags, causing Mingyu to burst out laughing. It had almost gone unnoticed until Mingyu broke out into a fit of giggles, June glaring at him with an unamused expression. 
Watching the whole scene unfold had you smiling to yourself, wondering if there would ever be a time when you got to have these cheesy moments with someone the way your friends did. 
“Oh please, Kalia. You act like I didn’t see you and Mingyu practically eating each other's faces off in the library yesterday, ” June huffs, shooting daggers at the both of them while peeling away the pistachio shells for her drunken boyfriend. 
“Hey! You said that no one would catch us.” Kalia slaps the back of Mingyu’s head, causing him to wince. 
“First of all ouch, second of all, I didn’t know that anyone would go that far back into the library!” Mingyu defends himself.
“Actually, the two of us were trying to do the same thing, but we saw you and dipped,” Jun confesses in his drunken state, while he munches on the pistachios June had been feeding him.
“Ha! Take that June, you're just as bad as us, if not worse,” Kalia gibes, sticking her tongue out at June. 
“Actually, all of you are equally as corny, end of discussion,” Leigh chirps, his eyes rolling as Lynne, his twin sister, cackles beside him. Both evidently fed up with the ‘who’s the cheesier couple’ argument. 
Amidst all the bickering, you take a sip of your drink, eyes glimmering with admiration. It seemed so simple for your friends to find someone who truly loved them, and wasn’t afraid to show it. 
Wonwoo had been at the forefront of your mind for so long that you had denied yourself anyone else. You had been so set on making Wonwoo your end goal when you could’ve found someone who would’ve treated you better. Reminders of all your missed opportunities left a bitter taste in your mouth, the alcohol on your tongue sweet in comparison.
“Something on your mind?” Lynne breaks you out of your thoughts. 
With your glass pushed down onto the sticky bar table, you give her a crooked smile that feels less disingenuous than the previous smiles you have been producing these past few months. 
“Kinda wondering when I’ll have something like those goofballs over there,” you chuckle bitterly, head motioning to the two girls fake arguing while their boyfriends sat there cluelessly. 
“I thought you were dating Wownoo?” Lynne asks, and you couldn’t help but laugh at your pitiful situation. 
His face flashes briefly within your mind, and you’d almost forgotten that you had chosen not to speak to him, for how long? You weren’t sure. It could be days or months, or until you’ve finally healed from your one-sided heartbreak. 
“No… no. He and I were just close friends,” your tone is melancholic. Lynne’s worry is transparent as she squeezes your shoulder. 
Desolation filled your senses regardless of the bar patrons' exuberant chatter. Your group of friends were all in their own worlds while you were troubled and inattentive. There was guilt gnawing at your insides. You didn’t want this to be one of those talks where you delve into the intricacies of your peculiar friendship with Wonwoo. 
“And that's okay, too. I'm not sure what happened, but he’s an idiot if he can’t see what's right in front of him,” she affirmed as you sat there, relieved that she didn’t press the situation further. 
“Tell me about it, it feels like everyone's been saying the same thing,” you mutter. 
Overhearing your conversation, Lynne’s twin brother couldn’t help but jump in, “Wonwoo’s a dumbass.” 
Lynne gives him a pointed look, but can’t help but laugh at her brother's antics.  Feathery giggles leave your throat too, finding Leigh’s unexpected declaration amusing. 
“Sorry, I had to put my two cents in, he kinda sucks! As a friend he’s okay I guess, but as a boyfriend, girl, you’re better off without him,” Leigh puts his hands up in defence, but there was truth behind his statement. 
“True, I’ve seen what he’s done to some of the girls on campus, total—,” Lynne begins, only for her sentence to be cut off. 
“Red flag,” Leigh finishes Lynne’s proclamation. 
Twin telepathy, you assumed.
“Hey, I’ll cheers to that,” you shook your head with a chuckle, taking three shot glasses before topping them up with a bottle of tequila Mingyu had bought for the table. 
“What! You guys are taking shots without us?” Jun whined before filling his glass with liquor. 
The whole table's attention is on the three of you now, joining in on the rounds of shots going around. The clangour of glassware chimes throughout the carved-out space of the bar you and your friends had claimed for the night. 
“Wonwoo’s an asshole!” Leigh blurted out loud before throwing back the alcohol in his cup. 
There's a moment of silence amongst the rest of your friends at the table, before they all burst out laughing before repeating Leigh’s words. 
“Wonwoo’s an asshole!” They all say wholeheartedly in unison. 
The gleam in everyone’s eyes caused warmth to swell all over your body. Nothing could compare to moments like these, and you desperately hoped that the night wouldn’t end. The reassurance that your friends had given you should’ve been worth the pain of cutting Wonwoo off. Praying that their effort to cheer you up wouldn’t be wasted on foolish decisions you desperately wanted to make; the yearning for Wonwoo has only skyrocketed and it frightens you to the core.
 No matter how distracted you attempt to make yourself, he still floods your every waking thought. 
two. 
 Since your decision to ignore Wonwoo, Seokmin has been coming over to your place a lot more often. You can’t recollect when it started to happen, but you're not opposed to his company. It’s quite the opposite actually; if anything he’s made your days a lot brighter, keeping you distracted from your urge to text Wonwoo. 
The time you spent with Seokmin mostly consisted of him trying to get you to finish the whole Harry Potter series with him. When you told him you’ve never seen the movies before, he had a comical look of shock painted over his face. Hands slapped against his cheeks, eyes wide they almost popped out of the sockets, type of comical. 
“Not even the first movie?! Not even on Halloween during elementary school?” Seokmin gasps, hands on your shoulders, trying to gauge what you did and didn’t know about the infamous films. 
“Yes! Not even when I was a kid, is it bad that I haven’t watched it?” 
“It's not just bad, this is almost criminal,” Seokmin sighs, feigning distraught. 
You chortle at his remark, baffled by how seriously passionate he is about Harry Potter, which ended almost ten years ago, you might add. 
“Well, there’s only one thing we can do,” he shakes his head, reaching for the remote on the coffee table. We’re going to binge-watch this thing until you're caught up.” 
“What? Isn’t that a bit much? There are like a bajillion movies,” you exasperate. 
Not wanting to hear another complaint from you, Seokmin shushes you dramatically. His pointer finger was in front of your lips before you could get another word in. 
“I'll get the snacks. You sit here and get comfy because you’re in for a ride,” Seokmin asserts before standing to grab food and drinks from your kitchen. 
An audible sigh leaves your lips, arms crossed as you pull the blanket over yourself to “get comfy” just as Seokmin wanted. 
A few minutes passed before Seokmin returned to the living room, a bowl of microwave popcorn perched on his side and two cans of soda cradled in his other arm. 
“You left your phone on the counter, by the way,” He mentions before placing it on the coffee table. 
“Oh! Thanks, I didn’t even realize,” you smile, shifting to make room for him on the couch. 
“You ready for the greatest movie experience ever?” Seokmin beamed, plopping back into his seat beside you. 
“Sure, but we can only watch the first two,” you bargained with him, knowing that if he had it his way, you two would be up till sunrise. 
Seokmin rolled his eyes jokingly, pretending to be annoyed with your lack of enthusiasm. Despite his antics, he agrees with your compromise. The movie begins to play and you let yourself relax in his presence. A bowl of popcorn is shared between you two while he wraps his hand over your shoulder. Not used to the proximity between you and him, you're thankful the increased volume drowned out the pitter-patter of your heartbeat. 
“Well that was a lot better than I expected,” you admit. 
Although you were uncertain about watching the movies at first, you had acknowledged the hype around the Harry Potter franchise. Seokmin had caught all your facial expressions while watching, peering over to catch your reactions during all the major plot points. You had been so obviously absorbed in it that you didn’t realize he had been staring.
“I told you! It just gets better from here. The Goblet of Fire is my favourite, you’ll love it,” Seokmin marvels, wanting to indulge in his interests with you. 
“Tom Riddle is kinda cute, I won’t lie.” 
“But he’s evil…and you know he gets ugly anyways. He’s literally Voldemort!” Seokmin disputed with a stare of mild disgust. 
“Yeah, I know, but there’s a bunch of attractive villains, like Killmonger from Black Panther,” you shrug, but Seokmin looks at you like you had just insulted his entire bloodline with your statement. 
Giggling, you didn’t expect him to take your opinions so seriously. 
“Fine. I won't say anything else. You go take your shower, and I’ll clean up,” he ushers you toward your room while holding the empty bowl in his hands. 
“How did you know that I was gonna take a shower?” you ask with curiosity. 
“I’ve known you for so long, you always take a shower before bed,” Seokmin explained nonchalantly.  
Heat radiated off your face, and your timid expression would’ve been visible if Seokmin’s back wasn’t facing you. You hadn’t realized how well Seokmin knew you.
“Thanks for cleaning up, I won’t be long,” you give him a smile of gratitude before heading over to your bathroom. 
The more time you spend with Seokmin, the more you regret falling for Wonwoo. Seokmin is kind and doting, and he never causes you to feel any worry. He is the prime example of home, reminiscent of a warm fire while snuggled up on the couch with a pile of blankets.
 Seokmin feels safe. The safe choice, the smart choice. 
Unfortunately, you were too foolish to have known sooner. Your irrevocable love for Wonwoo overshadowed all the possibilities of being with Seokmin. 
A knock on your front door brings you out of your spiralling thoughts. But before you head over to open the door, Seokmin beats you to it. 
“Minnie? Is someone at the door?” you call out from your bathroom, not bothering to leave. 
“Yeah! Your neighbour just needed to borrow something,” Seokmin half yelled from where he stood. 
There was a moment of doubt in your mind, why would your neighbour want to borrow something so late into the night? Instead of investigating further, you leave it to Seokmin to help them, too tired to talk to anyone else for the rest of the evening. 
“Okay!” is all you say. 
You turn on the shower, allowing the steam to congregate and relax your senses. As you step in, you grant the warm water the ability to wash away your conflicting thoughts about both Seokmin and Wonwoo. 
after the fight. 
“It’s time for you to go. I’m tired, Wonwoo.”
The bile in your throat stings, the corner of your eyes wet with tears. You didn’t expect Wonwoo to burst in here accusing you of things you wouldn’t dare do. There’s a familiar hollow feeling in your chest as you recollect how much of your heart you laid bare for him to witness. 
Had you known that ignoring him would lead to an outburst of unrelenting anger, you wouldn’t have done so in the first place. Even when this cologne hangs in the still air of your apartment, you yearn for his presence. Even when you unleashed your fury at him, kicking him out with no remorse, you still yearn for his touch. 
There hadn’t been many fights between the two of you, only enough to count on one hand. It would be petty arguments over stupid things. Arguments that would lead to one of you apologizing before the day was over. This fight seems different. It can’t be resolved with a quick ‘I’m sorry’. 
Defeated and tired, you move to your bed. Your phone sits atop the dresser. Curious and wishing for Wonwoo to just return and apologize, you click his contact. You almost feel like you are in some fever dream, the words ‘you’ve blocked this number’ staring back at you in flashing red. 
Horrified by the sight of your phone screen, you don’t remember blocking him in the first place. Wracking your brain, you’re trying to think of all the instances where you had been drunk or high enough to even do so, but nothing comes to mind. If you didn’t block him, then who did? 
You unblock his contact as quickly as possible, not wanting to create even more distance between you, although it might be too late to rectify the situation. A few messages were sent shortly after the fight had gone down. 
[2:55 a.m.]  [wons <3: idk if you’ll receive this but i’m sorry darling. i mean it.] [wons <3: i didn’t mean what i said earlier. i was just so angry. when ure ready to talk, lmk.]
Wonwoo’s text brings a swell of comfort within you. As much as you hate what he did, you could never bring yourself to hate him. 
three.
“You know, I’m kinda glad you’re here,” you professed. 
The harrowed walls of your home became a lot more bearable now that you had someone other than yourself inside them. The entire place felt far too big for you, especially because you tend to sit alone with your thoughts too often. 
Seokmin coming over to hang out was not part of your initial plan. But his unannounced visit wasn’t unwelcomed either. He was extremely talented in distracting you with his sporadic outbursts of energy and laughter. Seokmin made you feel quaint, almost as if he could be the ‘someone’ after everything you had been through with Wonwoo. 
With crescent-shaped eyes that appeared when his smile broadened, Seokmin wrapped his arm tautly against your shoulder. 
“I honestly just came over to check on how you were doing, after everything that happened, but I don’t mind staying for a while, I’d do anything if you asked.” 
“Are you flirting with me, Lee Seokmin?” 
Seokmin threw his head back with a hearty contagious laugh. Before you knew it, you were laughing along with him. 
The voice in the back of your head hissed symphonies of how easier your life would’ve been if you had just fallen in love with Seokmin instead. No matter how many times you tried to unearth a flaw of his, nothing comes to mind. There were so many signs leading you toward him, and how perfect he would be for you. But your heart still belongs elsewhere, even after what has been said and done. 
Seokmin’s eyes dimmed, “Would it be so bad if I was?” 
Taken aback by his words, your mouth opens and closes, trying to figure out whether he’s joking or genuine about his statement. 
“I-I guess not,” you mumble, watching the way his gaze shifts from your eyes down to your lips. 
Holding your breath, you can’t deny the tension that the two of you had created. Bodies practically meshed together on the couch, you weren’t sure how you ended up in this position but if Seokmin was the answer to distracting you from the fight with Wonwoo, who were you to deny him? 
“I really want to kiss you,” Seokmin confesses. 
“I wouldn’t stop you if you did.” 
Seokmin didn’t need much convincing after what you had professed. Swinging your legs over his lap, he grapples you into a position that has you straddling his thighs. The swiftness of his movements almost caused a yelp to leap out of your throat, but he steadied you before you could let out another noise.
With the faintest of touch, Seokmin places his lips over yours. Ever so cautious, ever so careful, he clearly wants to savour the moment. Despite his heedfulness, you were the exact opposite. You want it to be fast, you want him to be rough. 
There’s deliberate fervour behind your actions, causing Seokmin to groan in surprise. Rough palms gripping your waist, he matches your energy. The world sinks into a deep void along with the cruel songstress who refused to let you neglect your feelings for Wonwoo. 
Even though you have the desire to prolong your make-out with Seokmin, your phone buzzes against the plush cushions of your couch. Practically jumping out of his lap, you unlock your phone as if you weren’t just making out with Seokmin, to discover yet another text from Wonwoo. 
Every time his contact appears on your screen, your heart can’t help but skip a beat. It angers you how easily enraptured you are by something so minuscule. Even after you had kicked him out of your house that night, you can’t deny his diligence and how desperate he is for forgiveness. 
You almost wanted to curse him out for his audacity, but the other half wanted to give in and let him explain. Eyes glued to his messages, you find yourself reading them over and over again, your heart swollen with an aching desire to talk to him again. 
[11:09 p.m.]  [wons <3: hi. ik ur still mad but let me make it up to you. please?]  [wons <3: i don’t know what i have to do to make u forgive me but just know i don’t want us to end on this note.]  [wons <3: please darling, u mean so much to me, i don’t wanna lose u.]  [wons <3: i can’t stand this. please, just give me a chance to make things right] 
Only a fool would be swooning over his visible cry out for attention, and a fool you were.  Wonwoo’s claws have sunk so deep into you, that you can’t even kiss someone without him interrupting. It's like he knew what you were doing without even seeing you. 
“I thought you blocked him?” the inflection of disappointment apparent in Seokmin’s voice. 
Plopping your phone back down on the sofa, your brain finally registers the words that Seokmin had just uttered. You know for a fact that it wasn’t you who blocked his contact, but how the hell did Seokmin know?
 Unless he was the one to do so… 
A moment of realization struck you like a bolt of lightning, and the confusion finally cleared by the slip of Seokmin’s tongue. Why would he block Wonwoo’s contact on your phone? 
Attempting to recall when and where this could’ve happened, you remember the day you left your phone on the kitchen counter during the Harry Potter movie marathon. The burn at the back of your throat intensified as awareness sunk into your whole being. Seokmin was under the guise of a doting friend while you were in your feelings for Wonwoo. Pretending to be your knight in shining armour while you were in a vulnerable state. How could you be so naive? 
Wonwoo had been trying to tell you the truth, but you foolishly snubbed all his warnings out of anger. 
Nauseous and betrayed, you didn’t know that Seokmin would turn out to be the one to manipulate you, to sway your opinions to gain your time and affection. You’re so shaken up from your revelation that you almost forget who exactly is sitting right in front of you. 
“I’m really sorry Seokmin, but that kiss. I wasn’t thinking straight,” you attempt to act calm, not wanting to escalate the situation. 
“It’s okay, I understand. It's only been a week,” he shrugs with a rueful demeanour, “You’re still in love with him and there's not a lot I can do to change your mind.” 
“You’re right, there isn’t,” you reply with certainty. “I've been in love with him for years, and that’s not going to change for a while.” 
“I just want you to know I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
“I can’t do that to you knowing I still love him,” you disclose and hurt flashes across Seokmin’s eyes. 
“I understand.” 
“I hope so, considering you had gone on my phone behind my back and blocked his contact.” 
Shock is the best way to describe Seokmin’s reaction. He probably hadn’t realized that you figured out where his true intentions lie. But now that it’s out in the open, you can’t help but stand your ground. 
Seokmin doesn’t deserve to be in your presence right now, especially after he took advantage of your vulnerability. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Seokmin tries to respond nonchalantly, but his eyes frantically avoid your gaze. 
“You know damn well what I’m talking about,” you grit, your knuckles were straining from how hard you gripped onto your phone. Displacing your anger before it was shot full throttle and onto Seokmin’s face.
“Fine. You caught me. But there wasn’t any other way for you to forget him if you kept in contact with him. Even if you weren’t explicitly answering his texts.” 
Standing up and stalking over to your door, you open it to usher Seokmin out of the home. 
“That’s for me to decide. Not you. Now please leave.” 
Without much defiance, Seokmin leaves, evidently hurt by your anger towards him. The frown on his face deepened while he grabbed all his things, and walked out your door.
 As he leaves, he utters his last words, clearly miffed by your decision to kick him out. 
“I may be in love with you just as much as you are with Wonwoo, but at least I’m not dumb enough to go back to someone who obviously doesn’t give a shit about me. Your life will get easier when you stop being an idiot and start seeing how bad he is for you.” 
… 
The unsavoury memories of earlier had you deep in thought, especially after the statement Seokmin had made. He was supposed to be your safe space, but he ruined it with his need to cut Wonwoo out of your life for you. Yet there was clear wisdom to what he had said. Wonwoo only complicated your life and feelings further.  
Everything would be so simple if it were Seokmin instead, and you acknowledge that. But your heart didn’t seek out his touch the way it did with Wonwoo. 
 Seokmin let his feelings get in the way of what could’ve been the start of something good. If only he hadn’t done what he did, maybe if he had just given you more time to heal, things between the two of you would be different. Although the friendship with Seokmin had turned sour, he still deserves someone who would love him unconditionally, it just wasn’t you. 
 Wonwoo was the person you truly wanted, and although the break and argument between you two were enlightening, you cannot deny how right he is about Seokmin. 
You also cannot deny how much you still miss him. 
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Can’t Get You.
chapter one. 
“I gave up so much for you, Wonwoo. I lost so much of myself trying to please you. But I give up. I was drowning in my love for you.” 
You are an enigma inside Wonwoo’s mind, and it was the first time in a while that he had experienced deep regret and grief. Forcing himself into your home to accuse you all because of his resentment towards Seokmin, he couldn’t have been less irrational. And now he had to face the consequences of his actions.  
Sleepless night after sleepless night, he had no way to make up for what he had done to you. Years of cluelessly assuming that you only ever saw him as a friend, of using you as a crutch for his anguish. He had been so unfair, and there's a sense of exasperation he cannot disenthrall. 
Wonwoo is supposed to be your friend as much as you were his, but he dared to treat you as his therapist, his support system. If he hadn’t been so blind to your feelings, none of this would’ve happened. Maybe he would’ve been able to reciprocate your feelings earlier if he had known that you were in love with him this whole time. 
The buzz of a notification illuminates his dim bedroom, the light of his screen creating shadows that harboured his contrition. He had half the mind to answer, but after what he had said to you that day, he knew it wasn’t going to be you. 
Wonwoo decided to take a look anyway. 
[12:09 a.m.] 
[darling <3: you were right about seokmin]
[darling <3: that doesn’t mean i forgive u. i just thot id let u know]
With his heartbeat hammering inside his chest, Wonwoo couldn’t contain his elation. It’s been so long since he’d seen your name on his phone screen, and despite the context not being ideal, he decided to look at the brighter side. 
Although he’s not sure what had gone down between you and Seokmin, Wonwoo couldn’t find it in himself to care. All he knows is that he was right to warn you, and he has a chance to have you all for himself once again. Without the worry of Seokmin interrupting his plans.
[12:10 a.m.] 
[wons <3: i’ve missed you, darling] 
[wons <3: i know i’ve been a bad friend in the past, but i want to show u that i can change. please]
[wons <3: i promise, i'm going to be better]
Desperation was never Wonwoo’s thing, but if it meant having you in his arms once again, then nothing else matters. If he’s perceived as pathetic for trying to gain your trust again, then so be it. 
Eyes glued to his phone screen, he observes how your grey chat bubble appears and disappears again. The anticipation of what you’re going to say next has Wonwoo on the edge of his bed, wishing he could just peer into your mind, to catch a mere glimpse into what you’re thinking. 
[12:14 a.m.] [darling <3: 👍] 
There’s an immediate drop in Wonwoo’s smile, he’s never experienced you acting indifferent towards him. The feeling is so foreign he has no choice but to find some way to get rid of it. You had given a sliver of hope just by texting him, and that was all he needed. Wonwoo is your best friend, he knows you better than anyone, he knows you better than Seokmin. 
Apathetic towards the lengths he may have to go to to bring you back into his life, Wonwoo is determined to make you forgive him. Even if it meant abandoning his pride or his ego, he didn’t care anymore. Everything else is meaningless if you’re not his. 
two. 
The next time Wonwoo is forced to be in a room with Seokmin is the day Jeonghan decides to have an impromptu study session in the library. Unbeknownst to him, the person he has grown to hate would be there too. The tension was increasingly palpable to the point that both Jeonghan and Leigh found it difficult to focus on their work. 
“Why are you here?” Wonwoo queried with a scrutinizing gaze. 
The sound of uncomfortable shuffling is pronounced within the long pause of Seokmin and Wonwoo’s staredown. And Jeonghan gives Leigh a look of curiosity with a hint of confusion. They were obviously under the impression that the two of them were good friends, especially because no one had a clue about what happened between them. 
“Jeonghan invited me to study, why? Is it illegal for me to be here?” Seokmin quipped, evidently unamused by Wonwoo’s presence. 
Wonwoo scoffs, chair legs scraping against the hardwood as he takes his seat. 
“It should be.” 
Seokmin huffs before crossing his arms over his chest, taking a guarded stance. Various textbooks cluttered around the table, long forgotten in favour of watching Seokmin and Wonwoo bicker. 
“What’s up with those two?” Jeonghan whispers in Leigh’s ear, which the latter only shrugs in response. 
Wonwoo and Seokmin were lost in their world of conflict, and neither paid attention to their two observers. They were both ready to pull out bowls of popcorn amid their studying, which seemed more entertaining than whatever they were reading earlier. 
“Not sure. I bet you ten dollars it has something to do with you know who…,” Leigh whispers back, obviously amused by his friends' clear disdain for each other. 
“I’ll bet you ten dollars and a kiss Wonwoo did something to piss off Seokmin,” Jeonghan challenges his deal. 
Leigh giggles at how Jeonghan takes every opportunity to flirt with him but agrees to his wager anyway. 
“What does a kiss have to do with any of this?” 
“Nothing, I just wanted to give you one,” Jeonghan shrugs. 
Their conversation is cut off by Seokmin’s need to curse out Wonwoo, standing up from the table only to poke his finger into the elder's chest. 
“I hope you know that if you pursue her, you’ll only end up hurting her,” Seokmin accused, causing Wonwoo to flare with outrage.
Wonwoo isn’t pleased by Seokmin’s intrepid need to provoke him. From what you texted him the other day, it’s unmistakably clear that he has the upper hand. This means that Seokmin’s vexation is only a projection of the fact that his plan has gone awry. 
“Maybe if you hadn’t been such a manipulative bitch, she wouldn’t have come back running to me,” Wonwoo smirks, the realization in Seokmin’s eyes is nothing but confirmation that he struck a nerve. 
Seokmin is left baffled by Wonwoo’s statement, “You seriously cannot be talking right now.”
“Oh, but I am. I may have done wrong before, but at least I know how to get her back,” Wonwoo retorted.  
Thankfully, the library wasn’t traditional in the sense that students had to be quiet while using the space. Most passersby' barely batted an eyelash as the two men were raised from their seats while in a heated argument. 
The bitter taste in Wonwoo’s mouth only intensified the more time he wasted quarrelling with Seokmin. There are better things he can do with his time, like finding a way for you to forgive him. But he can’t help that every time he lays eyes on Seokmin, the only thing he can think of doing is socking his so-called friend in the face. 
“We’ll see who she ends up with in the end, and I’ll make sure it isn’t you,” Wonwoo finalizes. 
Deciding that he is done exchanging words with Seokmin, he leaves before he wastes any more of his time. The bag hooked on his shoulder was still unopened since their fight started before he could even retrieve his things. Harsh footsteps echo throughout the bustling library, and Wonwoo makes it his mission to find you. To have you in his hold before Seokmin could even think of getting near you. 
Three o’clock. On Wednesdays, your anthropology lecture always ends at three o’clock. Wonwoo knew you wouldn’t be pleased to see him inside the arts building, waiting right outside the lecture hall. But he had to take his chance, or else Seokmin might find a way to weasel into your life once again. Just the thought of it made Wonwoo’s ears flare red. No one deserves to have you as much as he did. 
The rush of students begins to trickle into the hallway, and he spots the top of your head before you stray too far away. With a shout of your name, he watches as you try to find the voice that has been calling out for you. 
Suddenly, the world around Wonwoo lacks colour as his gaze sets upon you. Standing there, you shine brightly, and Wonwoo couldn’t care less how stupid he looked while trying to gain your attention. The people around him are nothing but blockages that stop him from being able to grab onto you. Your expression is filled with curiosity as he waves his hand, beckoning you closer to him. Despite the obvious conflicting thoughts that are running through your head, Wonwoo knows you won’t be able to resist him. 
As you near, Wonwoo almost sighs with content, hearing your voice for the first time since that night. 
“What are you doing here?” 
The two of you wedged into one of the corners, waiting for the crowd to thin out. Grabbing your wrist, Wonwoo pulls you against him. Your back is flush with the wall; the rest of the students push past the both of you to get to their next class or to go home. 
“Wanted to be the one to give you a ride home,” Wonwoo mutters truthfully, but he knows that’s not why you’re asking. 
He watches the way you gulp, trying not to get caught up in the heat of his body. You’re so close to him that if he makes one slight movement he could end up kissing you. The feathery breath you let out almost causes Wonwoo to forget what he’s meant to be doing. Enamoured by your soft pink lips and how the heat on your cheeks intensifies with each passing moment. He simply can’t take his eyes off you. 
It seems as though you're making Wonwoo fall for you without even realizing it. 
The delightful scrunch in your brow only leaves him tingling, satisfied with the fact that you two are in such proximity after everything that happened. Although Wonwoo knows he has a long way to go to gain your forgiveness, he allows himself to enjoy the smaller moments with you while he can. 
“I can walk,” you retort, recoiling out of his grasp before walking over to the exit. 
“Walking is fine too,” Wonwoo attested, catching up with your fast pace. 
“Alone,” you reiterate. 
Wonwoo is amused by your direct attempt to get him to leave you alone. He almost laughs, you should know him well enough by now. What Wonwoo wants, he gets, it doesn’t matter if you’re mad at him. He’s confident enough in himself to know that he’s capable of making you fall for him all over again. 
If there’s one thing Wonwoo is unmistakably good at, it’s the chase. 
With his experience, it doesn’t take much for you to be perched right back into his palm. You’re a woman after all. The only difference between you and everyone else is that Wonwoo can envision a future with you in it, which has always been hard for him to do. But with you, Wonwoo can only wish that he could live till he’s a thousand if it meant that he could spend the rest of that time with you. 
“Please darling, let me take you home,” Wonwoo begs, his slender fingers grasped against your wrist. “You’re probably tired from walking around campus all day.” 
He could practically see the way the gears were turning in your head like you couldn’t decipher his underlying motives, and he couldn’t help but grin at your obvious overthinking.
“Fine, but you’re giving me a ride. That’s it.” 
The smile on Wonwoo’s face widens as you try to act uninterested, but he knows deep down your resolve is beginning to weaken.  
three. 
Wonwoo can only surmise that his plan has been taking effect. Not only have you been less reluctant to agree to him giving you a ride to and from school, but you’ve also been replying to his texts more frequently. Albeit they haven’t been the same long and sporadic messages you used to send, Wonwoo can’t seem to complain.
[5:05 p.m.]  [wons <3: u got home alright darling?] [darling <3: u drove me home.] [wons <3: ik. but i still wanna ask] [darling <3: i should be asking u that] [darling <3: not that i care tho] [wons <3: sure u dont]  [darling <3: i don't! now bye i have to study for my quiz tmrw]  [wons <3: okayy wtv helps u sleep at night 😆]  [wons <3: dont study too hard. ill pick u up tmrw at the same time ok?]  [darling <3: 👍] 
Smiling like a kid on Christmas, Wonwoo can’t help but feel the rush of butterflies flutter in his stomach. He can tell you’re trying to put on a detached facade, but your caring nature seems to be slipping through the cracks. 
His plan to slowly reinstate himself into your life seems to be working. Even though he understands it won’t happen overnight, Wonwoo doesn’t mind waiting for you to forgive him. At least he knows that he’s one step closer than Seokmin ever will be. 
“Good morning,” Wonwoo greets you, moving to the side to open the door. 
As you slip into the passenger seat, he realizes how much he misses you sitting beside him. You were always in your world while he drove, staring at the window reading all the signs along the way, or humming softly to the lyrics of the current song playing. 
“Morning,” you mumble back, settling into your spot. 
It’s that time of the year when all the leaves start to fall off the branches. The pavement was littered with hues of brown, red, and yellow. Wonwoo loved autumn the most out of all the seasons. It reminded him of the smell of cinnamon and warm cups of tea. Most importantly, it was autumn when he first met you. 
“You ready for your quiz?” Wonwoo decides to fill the silence. 
As you turn your body, you give him a soft smile, and he knows with that expression, that you probably didn’t get much studying done the night before. He chuckles at your meek countenance, you’ve always been the type to procrastinate. 
“I know that look. Don’t worry, you’re the smartest person I know,” Wonwoo reassures you. 
The right hand he had gripping the steering wheel strays from its place, seeking your hold. Allowing himself to take a glance at you before interlocking his fingers with yours, rubbing soothing circles along your delicate skin. Sensing you freeze upon his touch, Wonwoo’s hands almost break out in a sweat, hoping you won’t pull away. And surprisingly, you don't. 
Both of you returned to a relaxed state, and he’s overjoyed that you’ve decided to allow him to touch you again. Even if it’s something as innocent as hand-holding on the way to school. Wonwoo squeezes your hand tighter, reminding himself that you’re still beside him. That you chose to be with him. 
It wasn’t long before the campus university was in Wonwoo’s view. Pulling into his parking spot, he does so without letting go of your hand once. Even when turning the gear shift into park, his hold on you has yet to be relinquished. 
There’s a pause of silence that Wonwoo decides to break. 
“I know it’s not going to be easy to forgive me, I’ve done so many things that, if I was in your position, wouldn’t have let slide. But I’m asking for a chance, just one chance to show you that I can be better,” Wonwoo confesses. 
He observes that way you take time to think, his thumb continuing to rub mindless circles into your skin. Wonwoo didn’t think he’d be so nervous to hear what you had to say, or if you would say anything at all. 
“Just be patient with me, okay?” is the only thing you end up saying. 
To Wonwoo, that’s a win. You didn’t deny his request for forgiveness, and that can only mean one thing. His plan is working just as he’d hoped. 
“Take all the time you need, darling. I just want to be close to you again,” Wonwoo reassures you, his voice stable and comforting. He searches your eyes for even an ounce of unease. 
Nodding your head, you finally loosen your hand from Wonwoo’s. As you step out of the car you leave with one final remark. 
“I'll see you after class okay?” 
That was all the assurance that Wonwoo needed. He’s convinced that he’s a step in the right direction. You’ve fallen for him once again, perhaps not fully, but soon enough you’ll be back to where the two of you had left off. 
… 
When Wonwoo gets to see you again, it’s to drop off your cognitive psych textbook. By the time he realized it was on the floor bed of his car, it was already too late to give it back to you.
As he returns to the same long hallway, he nears your apartment with a sense of unease. Flashbacks of what happened the last time he even stepped foot into the building flood his memories. Wonwoo had no reason to be nervous, especially because you’ve become more lenient about him seeing you again. But this is different, he can’t help but wonder if you’re over that night, or you’re just allowing him to enter your life again because it was easier. 
The sound of him knocking on the door reverberates through the empty hallway, and a chill shoots down his spine. Why is he so nervous? He’s been here more times than he could count, and above all that he’s only here to return your textbook. 
From the other side of the door, he can faintly hear your footsteps as you make your way over. A hand clasped around the thick spine of your book, he grips it harder as he awaits your arrival. 
“Hi?” you greet him with a puzzled expression. 
The breath in Wonwoo's throat evaporates into thin air, his eyes glued to the curve of your body. It’s the same sleep set you wore the night he saw Seokmin leave your apartment. Trapped in his mind, he can’t help but let his thoughts wander. Plush thighs hugged tightly by your shorts, no bra in sight, allowing your nipples to outline the satin. With a tense gulp, he knows he can’t stay for long. 
“H-hey, uh, you forgot your textbook in my car,” Wonwoo stutters, eyes raking over your figure. 
What the hell? Wonwoo’s seen you in everything under the sun, including a bathing suit. But why does this damn sleep set have him tripping over his words? 
Before he can say anything more, you move forward to grab the book from his hands. Your hair flows over your shoulder while the strap of your tank top slips down. 
Shoulders stiffening at the sight, Wonwoo really can’t stay. He might even combust into a million pieces before he can get to his car. 
“Thanks.” 
“It’s really no problem, sorry I’m here so late. You’re—” his words are cut off by your unexpected proposition.  
“You wanna come in? I’m making some tea.” 
Wonwoo is completely fucked, though he doesn’t stop himself from entering your home. 
As you turn around, Wonwoo almost lets out a strained groan. He had been lucky enough to cover it up with a cough. You shoot him a confused look over your shoulder, and he mumbles a curt “It’s nothing” before you can question him further. 
The scent of peppermint tea engulfs his senses, your favourite. It was your routine to drink a cup of tea before bed, but peppermint has always been your go-to. He only knew this because his mom always made sure to send you boxes of a loose-leaf version from your hometown. You didn’t drink any other kind. 
There’s a sway in your hips as you move over to the kitchen counter and Wonwoo’s lost in a hypnotic state. Taking a seat at the island, he watches as you grab two of the coffee mugs from your cupboard. As you move to reach for the glassware, he observes the way your shorts ride up, giving him a direct view of the curve of your ass. He felt like a pervert for staring but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. 
“Here, let me get them for you,” Wonwoo offers, moving behind you to retrieve the two mugs. His body is perfectly aligned with yours, he can feel you stiffen against him. 
A rough palm is placed delicately against the exposed skin of your waist. You’re so warm. Wonwoo’s brain short circuits and he almost forgets what he’s actually meant to do. He holds you tighter against him while the handles of the cups are hooked against his fingers. With as much delicateness as possible, he situates the mugs against the granite. 
The soft “thank you” that left your lips was almost too faint for either of you to hear, but due to the stillness in the atmosphere, Wonwoo heard you loud and clear. 
With reluctance, Wonwoo leaves his spot behind you to return to his seat. He continues to watch you as you prepare the tea, and he’s never been more mesmerized in his life. It was almost criminal how closely he examined your actions, but you had become so captivating. It would be rude to deny the pleasure of being able to see you again. 
“This one’s for you,” you mutter, setting the mug in front of his person. 
“Thanks.” 
A comfortable silence blankets the two of you. Your hand around your cup, savouring the tea while you scroll aimlessly on your phone. Wonwoo allows his thoughts to wander. It almost felt sinful to be inside your apartment once again, compelling him to apologize once more. 
“I know I've already said it before but, I hope you know I’m not going to let this second chance be taken for granted. What I did was wrong, and I was so angry and confused that I didn’t even think about what I was saying.” 
Looking up from your phone, a frown is apparent on your angelic face. But you don’t say anything, allowing him to continue with his admission of guilt. 
“There are so many things I could’ve done differently, but I let my anger get the best of me. You’re the most important person in my life and I don’t want to let you go. I know I’m terrible at showing how much I care but I want you to know that deep down inside of me my love for you is there. You’re my greatest friend and I was a dumbass for not treating you that way earlier on.” 
There’s a pregnant pause in the air before you respond. Wonwoo’s nerves are spiking, but he waits diligently for your reply. 
“I understand that you’re sorry. And I wish that things had gone differently. I’m sure that night was a lot for both of us. Seokmin wasn’t the person I thought he was, and it sucks that you were right but I wanna move forward. It just felt so wrong for you to assume that I was with him in that way. It hurt and it was insulting for you to talk to me that way.” 
The words that had been brewing in his mind were lost as he continued to listen to you. 
“What’s even funnier is that me and Seokmin kissed a couple of days after our fight. I’m not even sure why I did that, but I regret it. I probably just wanted to get my mind off you and all the other stuff. Honestly, I was so naive, I didn’t think Seokmin would go to such cruel lengths to manipulate me.” 
“I want to forgive you. You’re my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you either. Seokmin had put it in my head to just cut you off, and it almost felt wrong but I listened anyway. I should’ve known why he had convinced me to do all those things. I was so stupid to believe him. But I do want to fix us, I just need time.” 
To hear you talk about what Seokmin did to you, and to also find out that you two had kissed made Wonwoo’s insides churn. He felt sick at the thought of the two of you, but why? You’re his friend, he shouldn’t care about the fact that you and Seokmin shared an intimate moment. Wonwoo should only care about the fact that both he and Seokmin hurt you.
“Darling, I’m so sorry. I wish there were more ways I could show you how apologetic I am. I promise I'm going to do better.” 
There’s a glazed look over your eyes, and Wonwoo’s chest almost collapses into itself. The subtle pout on your lips causes a sigh to leave his lips. 
Standing up, he walks over to you, cooing as he deluges you into his hold. Strong arms pull you into his chest, the faint weeping coming from you almost kills him. He hates to see you sad, and what he hates even more is that he’s the one behind most of your pain. 
“I’m not going anywhere from now on. So please darling, don’t push me away anymore. I’m gonna do everything I can to show you how important you are to me,” He whispers in your ear as he runs a hand down your hair. 
Wonwoo knows how much you love it when he does that. It always calmed you down on the days you couldn’t regulate your emotions. 
Sensitive to the sad things in life yet ardent towards the things you are passionate about. You have always been a softer soul, a soul that feels everything without a care in the world. At the same time, you are a whirlwind of emotions, and different colours of sensibilities, it’s your greatest strength but also your weakness. Wonwoo admires that about you. Never afraid to feel, never afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve. Everything he isn't. 
That night, Wonwoo vowed to be a better person for you. He also promised he’d never let someone like Seokmin take advantage of your kindness again. 
four. 
Despite Wonwoo’s desire to submerge his feelings into a deep void, he can’t seem to dismiss the fact that he’s slowly falling for you. It didn’t start when you had begun to ignore him, nor did it start when you decided to search for comfort in another. 
Seeking a piece of you in everyone he’s been with. It's always been in a subconscious manner, but the more he looks back on all his relationships, he’s started to realize that the one thing that was missing was you.
Falling in love with you was gradual. 
In the same way, the tides along the shore would slowly pull the sand back into the ocean. In the same way, the seasons changed from summer to winter. Wonwoo’s love for you is like autumn leaves. Shades of green morph into the familiar, comforting, yellow, red, and brown. Their descent from their branches slowed, dwindling with the breeze before they ultimately hit the ground. Before he knew it, autumn had begun. 
Before he knew it, he was in love. 
Everything over the past month had just been a wake-up call. Slowly rising from an insomnious state, he began to find clarity in his past actions, in his reasons for wondering why none of the relationships worked out in his favour. No one understood him the way you did, and no one understood you the way he did. And he had been foolish enough to not act upon those realizations sooner.  
… 
Wonwoo ached to see you again. To be close to you, with your scent filling his nostrils, your warmth engulfing him, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. Yet he sat in the library trying to make sense of his pending assignment. Mingyu sits across from him, looking close to slamming his forehead with his textbook. 
Wonwoo couldn’t care less about regression to the mean or whatever it is his statistics professor is trying to teach him. Every second that passed his mind would end up wandering to thoughts of you. That night in your apartment, the whiff of peppermint tea, your arms around him as he held you close. Desperation is a dangerous emotion, for it only made him want to close his laptop and rush to your side. 
Why didn’t he just fess up about his feelings for you right then and there? He could’ve done it, but his intuition stopped him. From the start of you finally letting him back into your life, neither of you brought up your confession of being in love with him. The prospect of him even acknowledging the subject has Wonwoo believing it wouldn’t end the way he hopes. 
Attempting to suppress his curious thoughts, he’s afraid of you denying everything you disclosed to him that night. He didn’t want you to renounce your declaration of love under the guise of anger or the heat of the moment. The only thing he wanted from you now was the truth. 
“Well, you look a lot better than you did last time we were here,” Mingyu speaks up. 
Taken out of his trance, Wonwoo lifts his head from the screen of his laptop. An involuntary chuckle erupts from his chest. Despite his muddled thoughts, Mingyu is right. He looks and feels a lot better than he did before. 
“A lot of shit happened, but yeah, I guess you can say that.” 
“Hmm, let me guess. You two made up?” Mingyu doesn’t beat around the bush. 
Wonwoo is aware that Mingyu’s probably only asking to remedy his curiosity, or so he could update Kalia about the situation, but he doesn’t care. If anything, he wants everyone to know that he won you over instead of Seokmin. 
“Yeah, kinda? I don’t know. I’m trying my best to be better for her though,” Wonwoo lets out a half-hearted sigh. 
Mingyu looked at him with curiosity, and Wonwoo knew that expression a little too well. It was the ‘since when were you the type of person to change for a girl’ look. His friend didn’t have to say much for him to understand what Mingyu was attempting to convey. 
“You’re serious?” Mingyu presses, a lilt of doubt in his tone of voice. 
“Yeah, I'm serious. Never been more serious in my life,” Wonwoo scoffs, he already knows where this conversation is heading. 
Mingyu didn’t seem to buy it though, eyes rolling as he leaned back in his chair. Wonwoo crosses his arms defensively, it is typical for Mingyu to wonder where his true intentions lie. His track record wasn’t the best when it came to girls, unlike Mr. Perfect across from him. 
Mingyu knew how to deal with relationships, he’s practically married to Kalia at this point. 
Wonwoo, on the other hand, tended to obsess for a few months before inevitably breaking things off. It’s practically second nature for him to do so, but this is different. It's you. And Wonwoo knew that meant more to him despite his old habits. 
“Be for real man, I know you. Are you sure this isn’t the same as the last hundred times you’ve liked someone?” 
“Like? I don’t just like her. I’m in love with her.” 
Mingyu’s eyes go wide, Wonwoo has never dropped the L–word on his friend before. Not about Haein, or any of the other girls he’s dated. 
“Woah. That's different,” Mingyu lets out a low-whistle. 
“That's what I mean. We’re not talking about just some other girl who I find interesting. This is my best friend,” Wonwoo continues to defend himself. 
It felt weird to say those words out loud for someone else to hear, but Mingyu was the only person Wonwoo didn’t feel insecure talking to despite the fact he practically criticized him during the last study session. Wonwoo needs to let his feelings out into the world, and Mingyu is willing to listen. 
“Okay, you’ve convinced me, but you better not fuck it up. I won’t punch you but I know Kalia would,” Mingyu shrugs, and he’s right. Kalia would beat him up. 
Wonwoo snorts at Mingyu’s remark, “Your girlfriend is scary.” 
“She is. Just don’t be a dumbass and she won’t kill you. You know how much Kalia cares about her.” 
“Seems like everyone does. Seokmin cares a little too much,” Wonwoo huffs, thinking back to what you had told him the last time he saw you. 
“Ah. I heard about that,” Mingyu smirks. 
Wonwoo could feel the hairs on the back of his neck starting to stick up. He didn’t particularly like the idea of you and Seokmin together. In all honesty, he doesn’t even want to see him within a hundred feet of your person. Wonwoo had half the mind to beat him to a pulp for how he hurt you, and he’s sure that Seokmin feels the same way about him. The only difference was that you had a clear choice, and Wonwoo came out on top. 
“I can’t believe him actually. He’s dead to me,” Wonwoo scowls, hating the bitter taste Seokmin’s name leaves on his tongue. 
“Dude… Seokmin is still our friend,” Mingyu attempts to mediate, like the soft-hearted man he is, but Wonwoo doesn’t care. 
“No. He’s your friend. What he did is fucked up, even for me. His dumbass is not stepping a foot near her, not if I have any say in the matter.” 
Hot on his heels, Wonwoo packs his belongings and exits the library with flames blazing his trail. Mingyu still sits there dumbfounded, recovering from the shock of his friend's crass declaration. 
five. 
[12:11 p.m.] [wons <3: meet me at our spot? i have a surprise :)]
Pacing back and forth, Wonwoo waits for you at the aforementioned spot. It’s a hidden corner on campus you two found in your first year. There were multiple wooden picnic tables scattered around the lawn of green grass, but no one seemed to come to this side of the university. It had been an alcove of secludedness for the two of you since that day. Wonwoo had spent most of his lunch breaks eating here with you when the crowds of students got too overwhelming. 
Deciding it wasn’t doing him any good walking back and forth like a madman, he takes a seat at the table you both claimed for yourselves. Even with the abundance of available picnic tables, neither of you ever sat anywhere else. The table’s location had always been perfect. Right under a large oak tree that had just the right amount of shade yet a prime amount of sunlight. The leaves had already shed, and there was no protection from the rays, but Wonwoo settled in his unassigned seat anyway. 
Inspecting the food he bought you, he made sure that it was still warm enough for you to eat. Two grilled pork banh mi’s with extra pickled vegetables wrapped securely within the plastic bag, your favourite. 
Wonwoo had no reason to buy it for you, other than the fact that as he was leaving the library in a sour mood, he was able to snag the last two from the dining hall. Thinking about the look you would have on your face once you got here made him smile to himself. So without a second thought, he paid for the sandwiches before sending you a text. 
“So what's the surprise?” 
Ears perking, Wonwoo whips his head over in the direction of your sweet voice. Skin glowing in the sunlight, he admires you with a lopsided smile. You look so good today, almost too good. The black skirt you wore flounced with each step you took, while your cardigan hung low on your shoulders. 
He wishes he could have you only for himself, finding it unfair that everyone else in the whole damn world got to admire how gorgeous you are, including himself. Wonwoo doesn’t get tired of looking at you, it’s like a breath of fresh air each time. 
“Hi, darling. There were only two left,” he nudged his head, motioning to the plastic bag that you are very familiar with. 
With glowing eyes, you let out a squeal of delight. Wonwoo knew he did something right for once. 
“Oh my god. How did you know I was craving these today? I was thinking about it all morning,” you gush, rushing over to open the bag that held your most prized possession.
“I didn’t, but I know you’d never say no to your favourite,” he chuckles. 
You didn’t even get to take a proper seat before diving into the banh mi. 
“I forgot to pack a lunch today,” you bubbled, mouth still half full with food. 
Wonwoo continues to grin, pleased with himself that something small like this brings you so much happiness. Tutting, he jokingly scolds you, wiping the cilantro that stuck to your cheek. 
“You shouldn’t talk when your mouth is full darling, you’ll choke.” 
Rolling your eyes at him, you swallow your food and take a sip of water before continuing with the conversation. 
“I woke up late today and forgot to make something for lunch, so thank you for this, I was starving,” you beam up at him, sitting cross-legged on the bench. 
“It’s a good thing I’m here then, right?” He chuckles, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, not wanting it to get in the way of your eating. 
“Yeah I guess you’re right,” you mumble before taking another bite. “Fuck this is so good right now, you don’t even know.” 
Wonwoo hums, amused with your reaction before unwrapping his sandwich. Admiring his view of you, he continues to listen to you talk about how you’re absolutely in the trenches for your next cognitive psychology midterm. 
“I’m so screwed. I can’t seem to properly memorize the theories, especially the one about Piaget’s stages. It keeps getting mixed up in my head,” you mutter in between bites. 
“I wish I could help, but you're the psych major,” Wonwoo shrugs, bemused at how your cheeks resemble those of a hamster. 
“True. Enough about school, my head hurts just thinking about it,” you sigh. 
“Alright. No school. Do you have plans for the weekend, at least?” Wonwoo asks. 
Your eyes lit up at his question, and you were ready to divulge what you had going on for the end of the week. Midterms were only a few days away, and everyone was so high-strung about them. Wonwoo knew you just wanted it to be over. You’ve always been the type to hate preparing for exams. 
“Well, June, Lynne, Leigh, and I are hitting up Raval on Friday. We wanted to celebrate the start of the mid-term break,” you explain. “You can join us if you want.” 
Before either you or Wonwoo could get another word in, his phone rings obnoxiously on the table. His mom’s caller ID flashes across his screen before he accepts the call, propping it up so the both of you are within the camera lens. 
“Hi mama!” you wave excitedly, Wonwoo’s mom smiling back at you. 
There wasn’t much he was grateful for in life, but the fact that you and his mom were so close was one of those things. 
“Hey ma, what’s up?” Wonwoo greets her, the grin on his face widening. 
“Hi, my babies. I just wanted to say hi!” His mom waves her hand at the camera, trying to stay in the frame. 
“Dear, did you get your box of peppermint tea?” she asks you, Wonwoo’s gaze returning to your beautiful smile. No words could explain the happiness he felt seeing you talk to his mom. 
“Yes mama, I did, thank you so much! I’ve been drinking it every night,” you assure her, sending her flying kisses through the phone. 
“Wonwoo, treat her well while you guys are away, got it? I just wanted to check on you both real quick,” his mom chattered through the speaker. 
“Yes, ma, I know. We’re eating lunch, but I’ll call you when I get home. Love you,” Wonwoo feigns annoyance but still tells her he loves her. 
“Bye, mama! Love you,” you bid her farewell, the call beeping indicating that Wonwoo had hung up. 
For the rest of Wonwoo’s lunch break, the two of you ate your banh mi in comfortable silence. There was a silent agreement of eating and just enjoying the view of the secret spot that Wonwoo shares with you. With everyone else gone, it was perfect. 
If Wonwoo could have any superpower in the world, it would be able to stop time. He yearns for this moment to last forever. Enjoying your company in a secluded part of campus, where there’s no one to bother you, no one to question your friendship.   
He longs for more days with you like this, away from the noise, away from distractions that cause his attention to stray away from who he cares about. He only needs one thing in his life to truly feel fulfilled, and it's you.  
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act three, Hold Me by the Heart. 
chapter one. 
Despite the reconciliation between you and Wonwoo, you still find yourself doubting his actions. Did he want to change for the sake of your friendship? Or was he only putting effort knowing you had almost slipped through his fingertips? 
Warmth enveloped you every time he was around, every time he gave you small words of affirmation. Even with all these signs of growth from him, you still had that vexing churn in your gut. 
That swirl of intuition felt like you were just waiting for the other shoe to drop. As much as you hate not being able to trust your best friend completely, apprehension continues to gnaw at your insides. 
“Hey? You still in there?” June interrupts your train of thought, waving her hand in front of your gaze. 
“I thought you and Wonwoo made up?” She continued to press for answers, which was typical of her. 
“We did,” you sigh, taking a sip of your Long Island iced tea. 
“Then why the long face?” 
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m just thinking too hard,” you chuckle, although there’s no humour behind it. 
June mirrors your expression, frowning alongside you as she pats your back, trying to get you out of your forlorn state. 
“That calls for another drink!” She attempts to lighten the mood, her pointer fingers poking at your smile lines, forcing a grin to grace your lips. 
Rolling your eyes at her, you agree to her proposition. Not wanting to waste your weekend on immutable thoughts of Wonwoo. He’s the only person who could make you sit around a room full of people and still feel like something, or rather, someone, was missing. 
In the back of your mind, you wonder if he remembers the confession you accidentally spilled during your fight. In the midst of all the anger, the pent-up frustration, you deliberate whether he still remembers the fleeting “I love you” that left your trembling lips that night. 
Before you could blink, June was already back in her seat. A tray of shot glasses filled with brown liquor. There was enough for everyone to take at least two. Although you know it’s not a good idea to get drunk with the negative thoughts floating within your mind, you choose to ignore your rationality for one night. 
“Wonwoo still may be an asshole, but if he makes you happy, who am I to judge?” Leigh speaks up from his seat, knocking back the shot glass till it’s empty. 
A small giggle leaves your lips, duplicating his actions and swallowing the alcohol in one go. 
“So what is the deal with you and Wonwoo now? I feel like every time I see you, he’s right behind you like some kind of brooding bodyguard,” Lynne queries, ready for you to fess up. 
The breath you take in is sharp, not knowing where to even start. The past month has gone by in a blur, too many events happening in such a short amount of time. You couldn’t even process it properly yourself, let alone recite all that has gone down to your friends. 
“Well, I may have texted him after that incident with Seokmin. And after that, it just snowballed. He started driving me to school again, eating lunch with me, apologizing every chance he got. I-I don’t even know anymore,” you inhale, not realizing that you have barely taken a chance to breathe. 
“Interesting…” Lynne mumbles, tapping on her chin as if she is deep in thought. 
“He’s just become more considerate. I don’t know why he’s decided to change, but I can’t complain because I can see the change,” you continue, defending him. After all, you knew your friends didn’t see him in a particularly positive light. 
There was a pause in the air, everyone sitting at the table still processing your defence. Even if they still hate him, you don’t really care. Yes, you care for their opinions, and you cherish their affection for you, but Wonwoo deserves a second chance in your eyes. 
“I mean… Isn’t the reason he’s even acting like this because he hated seeing you with Seokmin?” Leigh disputes, and you frown. 
There’s truth behind his statement. Wonwoo only noticed your absence because you had started hanging out with Seokmin more. But it worked in your favour, so can you even be mad? 
“Maybe. Honestly, I don’t think I care about his reasons. He's trying and that’s all that should matter, right?” you mutter, taking another shot from the tray. 
The looks on your friends’ faces say more about what they want to say to you than their words ever could. You’re disregarding Wonwoo’s toxic behaviour in hopes that this new chapter with him is more than just some facade. 
“Oh, that’s not…” Leigh whispers under his breath but doesn’t say more. 
They know they can’t change your mind. 
[11:17 p.m.]  [wons <3: still out with your friends?] 
Your screen's brightness illuminates the bar's dim lighting, bringing everyone's attention to the bubble with Wonwoo’s name clearly on display. 
“Speaking of the devil,” Lynne shakes her head as she nurses the drink in her hand. 
[11:18 p.m.] [darling <3: yeahh, we’ll probably head home after a few rounds, why?]  [wons <3: jw. have fun darling]  [darling <3: thx! ]
“I don’t know about you guys, but I’d rather we drink till I forget everything from midterms instead of talking about Wonwoo,” June pipes up, disrupting the silence that had enveloped your group. 
As she calls for someone to bring more shots to your table, you quietly smile to yourself. Wonwoo usually was not one to text first, but it’s different now. Even if everyone else can’t stand him, you can’t help but feel the exact opposite. 
There’s a hum of agreement, and everything becomes a blur after that. The constant flow of alcohol forces you to focus on what’s in front of you. Wandering thoughts of Wonwoo are brought to a halt as you feel yourself slipping into a drunken state. 
… 
“Jun! My boyfriend is here!” June exclaims, practically walking sideways outside of Raval. It’s deep into the night at this point and your friend decided that the best person to call was her boyfriend. 
As she sways on the sidewalk, your two other friends hold you up in an attempt to keep you from falling face-first into the cement. Despite how late it was, there were still cars bustling past on the street. Jun’s car idling as he tries his best to help his girlfriend into the passenger side. 
The university town is still alive with students entering and exiting outside of the bars and restaurants as everyone celebrates the end of the week. You can only wish for Wonwoo to be here with you, but you knew he wasn’t the type to go to bars this late, opting to stay up playing League on his computer instead. 
“Hey babe, if you want, you can call Wonwoo to come pick you up,” Lynne speaks to you soothingly, obviously not as intoxicated as you are. “You’ve been mumbling his name for like ten minutes now.” 
“Wonwoo? Is he here?” 
“No. But I’m going to call him so he can get you,” she gives you a tight smile.
Pulling out your phone from her purse, and bringing the screen to your face. You widen your eyes, moving your head closer to the camera. A lopsided smile sneaks its way onto your lips as it unlocks. 
“Are you sure this is a good idea? She’s fucking gone,” Leigh chastises his sister. 
Lynne gives him an exasperated look, shrugging her shoulders. Her brother rolls his eyes in return, both defeated. They know they can’t stop you from wanting Wonwoo, plus he’s the only one who knows the code to your apartment. You’re too drunk to even unlock your phone, let alone press buttons on the keypad of your door lock. 
Hell, you can’t even stand without falling aimlessly to the ground. 
“Wonwoo? It’s Lynne. Can you come to Raval?” you barely register your friend's voice, looking off into the distance. Hoping that Wonwoo would magically appear any second from now. 
The call is dropped and they manoeuvre you onto the bench outside the entrance of the bar. Head flopping onto Leigh’s shoulder, you close your eyes. Maybe the next time you open them, Wonwoo will be standing right in front of you. 
What felt like seconds were actually ten minutes to your slightly more sober friends. Jun and June waiting diligently beside their car waiting for Wonwoo to finally arrive as the other two are constantly trying to keep you upright. 
When they agreed to have a few more shots, they didn’t expect you to take another five along with two more long islands. Regretful for their lack of heed, they had forgotten how much of a lightweight you are. 
“Oh! Fucking finally, I swear he drives like a Grandpa,” Leigh scoffs, seeing Wonwoo’s car pull up behind Jun’s. 
“Where is she?” Wonwoo's voice bellows, and it’s as if he’s near. 
With your eyes still sealed shut, you mumble incoherently to Leigh, “It’s like he’s right here. Am I that drunk that I’m imagining things?” 
“Oh my god… take her home please,” Leigh doesn’t answer your question and you’re slightly offended. 
“Hey!” you pout, finally opening your eyes as you feel someone tug you away from your source of heat. 
Strong arms wrap themselves around your waist, a broad chest is the only thing within your line of sight. 
“Excuse me! I’m waiting for my Wonwoo to come and pick me up,” you squeak, slapping the chest of whoever is trying to take you away from your friends. 
There’s a collective groan behind you. 
“She’s wasted.” Lynne sighs to her brother while he nods in agreement.
“Your Wonwoo?” A familiar voice has you stopping in your tracks. 
Looking up at the once faceless person who was dragging you away, you find yourself face to face with the man you had been yearning for all night. 
“Woah. You look just like him,” bemused with the stranger in front of you. 
Squinting your eyes, your palm traces along his structured jaw. The tips of your finger poking at his cheek affirm your suspicions. He felt very real under your touch. Every line and freckle is scarily alike to your Wonwoo. 
“Like who?” 
“My Wonwoo.” 
The man’s chuckle vibrates deeply against your side. The same side where he has you pinned to his chest. A smug expression is plastered on his face as he watches you with intrigue. 
“I believe there’s only one Wonwoo,” he argues. 
“I disagree,” you huff as he pats your head, ushering you to his car.
 Unsure of why you’re even following some random is beyond you at that moment. All you could think about is texting Wonwoo once you’re safely tucked into bed. 
“Thanks for giving me a call, she hasn’t been answering her phone,” Wonwoo bids farewell to your friends as they start to pile into Jun’s car. 
“At least you can see why she hasn’t been texting you back. We might’ve given her too much to drink,” Lynne shakes her head as she chuckles at your drunken state. 
“If my opinion matters, I think I had the perfect amount,” you butt in, wanting your friends to know that you can still kind of register what they’re saying. 
“Right…” Leigh speaks up. “Anyway, we’re going to leave now that you’re here. Make sure she gets home safe!” 
“Will do,” Wonwoo promises, waving them off as Jun drives away. 
Glowering, you take a second look at him. How weird is it that a Wonwoo look-alike exists?  
The street lights that line the sidewalk cause your vision to go in and out periodically. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought that the man in front of you was the real deal. But you did know better, and you would’ve recognized your Wonwoo from a mile away. 
“I think it’s time that we get you home,” Wonwoo smirks down at you, reaffirming the grip he has on your waist. 
“How do you know where I live?” You interrogate him, finding it weird that this man would have your address in the first place. 
“That’s a secret that will be revealed later, darling,” He teases, opening the door to his car so you can take a seat. 
Once he’s on the driver's side, Wonwoo adjusts your seatbelt so it’s not uncomfortable during the ride. The warmth of his arm brings you to snuggle against it, looking up at him with a coy smile. 
“You know, for a fake Wonwoo, you’re pretty cute.” 
“Fake Wonwoo?” 
“Yeah, real Wonwoo wouldn’t come all this way just to pick me up,” you sigh, pulling away from his warmth to stare out the window dramatically. 
“I think he would.” 
Laughing at his statement you roll your eyes. The person in front of you didn’t know your best friend like you did. 
“How would you know?” You bite back. If anyone could win the ‘I know Wonwoo more than you’ contest, it's you. 
“That’s also a secret.” 
Slouching back into your seat you huff out a breath of air once again, “Why do you have to have so many secrets?” 
“Because.” 
“It’s a secret?” you counter. You had a feeling that would be his answer anyway. 
“See? You’re finally getting it,” he gives you a cheesy smile, pinching your cheek. 
Slapping his hand away, you’re offended at how endeared he is with you. The only thing on your mind was the softness of your comforter and the warm mint tea that you knew you were going to have later. 
“Just take me home,” you sneer, shifting your whole body away from the driver’s side. Thighs pressed against the door, your brattiness starting to peek through your insobriety. 
“Hey, hey, don’t be like that,” Wonwoo pouts, lip jutting out as his eyes sparkle under the city lights. 
You don’t budge, body firmly pressed against the plastic of the car door. Arms crossed as you feign annoyance at him. 
“You know, I get really scared driving at night. I think I need you to hold my hand.” 
With a sense of reluctance, you offer your hand to him. Unsure of what has you agreeing to his request, you can’t say no to someone so handsome. Wonwoo interlaces his fingers with yours, and it surprises you how well your palm fits into his, allowing him to rest your intertwined hands on your lap.  
The ride back to your apartment is peaceful for the most part. The wistful city lights calm the drumming beat of your heart. Everything moves past in a blur; you can’t help but admire the cars driving past, time slowing down with the music lulling through the radio speakers. 
Serenity is the best way to describe the time you spend sitting next to Wonwoo on the drive towards your place. 
“I wonder if the real Wonwoo is thinking about me right now,” you mumble, still staring out the window. 
Wonwoo’s hand still entwined with yours, he hums along with the music, the other one on the steering wheel. Initially, you thought he didn’t hear what you had said, but he ended up replying to you. 
“I know he is.” 
Turning in your seat, you look at him, analyzing his side profile as he stares ahead. There’s yet another frown that settles into the fine line of your face, how could he possibly know whether or not Wonwoo is thinking about you? 
“You don’t know that,” you speak with a sour tone. 
“I do though,” he counters with a glance towards you. 
“How?” 
Disgruntled at his amusement, you know he’s just going to say it’s another one of his secrets, which you’re starting to get sick and tired of. Why can’t he just tell you? It’s not like you’ll see him after today. 
“Nevermind. You’re just going to say it’s a secret,” you grumble but still hold onto his hand. 
For whatever reason, you become engrossed in the view of your hands linked together. His slender fingers and clean nails had you intrigued. You had a feeling that you looked silly just staring at his hand in yours, but there was no helping it. 
Fake Wonwoo has nice hands. 
“You have pretty hands,” you tell him, no filter left within you due to your lack of sobriety. 
“Thank you,” he grins, tightening his grasp on you. 
The drive felt longer than you’re used to, but you decided to blame everything on the alcohol. 
“Are we almost there yet?” 
“Yes darling, just a few more minutes,” he answers you, rubbing small circles on the side of your thumb.
Another five minutes felt more like a year, but you couldn’t complain. Your seat was comfortable, the heater was at the right temperature and Wonwoo’s hold brought you solace. 
“We’re here. I’m gonna help you out okay? So just sit pretty and I’ll get you,” Wonwoo explains, and your cheeks burn from his indirect compliment. 
“Okay.” 
A few seconds pass and the door opens, his tall figure slouching down to grab you by your waist. He circles behind your back before leaning over to undo the seatbelt. It was almost too affectionate for a stranger, but something inside you had you leaning your head against his shoulder. 
“Don’t worry about walking. I’ll carry you.” 
You don’t respond to him, instead, you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and hold onto him even tighter. Breathing in his cologne, you smell the familiar scent of Wonwoo’s cologne. Your olfactory senses take in the aroma of rose and pear. 
Lazy Sunday Morning. It was your favourite out of all the perfumes he owns. 
Closing your eyes, you allow Wonwoo to carry you inside your apartment. The sound of buttons beeping at the front of the entrance, and the warmth of his body, almost entranced you into a slumber. But you didn’t want the fantasy to end, you didn’t want this version of Wonwoo to slip out of your grasp. 
Nose nuzzling into the dip between his neck and shoulder, you make yourself comfortable as he stands inside the elevator, you in his arms, waiting to ascend to your floor.
The beeping sound returns as Wonwoo opens the front door that leads to your home. There’s a sense of wonder: Would this be what it would be like if Wonwoo were finally yours? 
Would he carry you to bed when you were too tired to stand? Hold your hand in his during every car ride? The thought of those things happening seemed like it would only be possible in some made-up faraway land. 
“Darling, we’re home,” Wonwoo’s baritone voice brings you out of your half-awake dream. 
We’re home. How bittersweet it sounds coming from the lips of someone who isn’t yours. 
“Thank you.” 
“Anything for you.” 
The mattress sinks a tad as you feel yourself being placed into the warmth of your comforter. Your arms don’t let go of your hold on Wonwoo’s shoulders. As you stare into his eyes, the dim lighting of your bedside lamp aids in resurfacing a sense of clarity within you. 
“Will you finally tell me your secrets?” You whisper, even though there is no reason to. 
“Only if you tell me yours.” 
There's a pause. No one dares to speak as you two continue to look at each other in silence. All that is left unspoken can be seen through his eyes, you wanted to ask. Every particle inside you just wanted to know whether there was a chance he felt the same way you did. 
“Come and lay beside me?” You request, tone laced with reticence. 
“Anything for you,” he repeats once again. 
Lowering his body onto yours, arms still circling his shoulders, he shifts a little so that your hands are still on him. The two of you face each other while the atmosphere is left unwavering. 
What you thought would be better left unsaid takes permanent residence at the forefront of your mind. Why do you want to tell this version of Wonwoo your deepest most kept secrets all of a sudden? 
Perhaps you thought that if you admitted anything now, it’ll be forgotten in the morning. It was safe with this fantasy Wonwoo who had no real attachment to the one who lives in your reality. But the effects of all those shots have started to wear off, and you’re left with a very real version of the person you’re irrevocably in love with. 
“You have to go first,” you speak in a hushed tone. 
Wonwoo’s arms grip your waist tighter, pulling you into his chest. The arms that are linked behind his neck do the same, holding him taut against you. You don’t want him to leave. You don’t want this form of Wonwoo to disappear before your eyes. 
“Well, I didn’t think it would take you this long to realize but, I am the real Wonwoo,” his chuckle is deep, the glint of amusement sparkling in his eyes. 
“I think I did. I just didn’t want this dream to end,” you smile bitterly. 
“But it’s not a dream? I’m here with you, and I’m very real.” 
Burying your face into his sweater, you sigh harshly. This is where it ends. 
“I’m sorry. It was probably such a nuisance having to pick me up just for me to spew out nonsense in return,” You’re embarrassed, hiding your face even further into his chest. 
“Will you please look at me?” Wonwoo asks, his voice low, “You’ll never be a nuisance to me.” 
  His hand comes up to your head, fingers carding down your hair. Staring deeply into your eyes, you can feel his sincerity. The breath in your throat is caught and you’re unable to conjure up a reply. 
“I know that old version of me is stuck in your mind, but I don’t want to be like that anymore. I’m willing to pick you up, no matter the distance. I wish you knew that sooner,” he vows, eyebrows scrunching as he tries to convey his feelings to you. 
“I’ll tell you my secret since you told me yours. I don’t think I would be able to say this while I’m sober,” you begin to lay your heart out bare for him. 
Taking a moment to think about how you want to word your confession, you grasp the hand that’s cradling your head. Intertwining your fingers with his once again, you stare at Wonwoo like he’s the answer to all your problems. 
The siren-like voice that sings within your heart is finally able to release itself from the prison your brain had placed it in. All you’ve wanted from Wonwoo was for him to love you, and on the off chance he feels the same way, then you’re willing to take the plunge into the deep waters of the unknown. 
“I don’t know if you remember me telling you, that time during our fight. I was–I am in love with you. I know you don’t feel the same way, I understand, but I don’t think I can be friends with you after this.” 
“Real or fake, whatever you are or whatever this moment is. I’m still in love with you. I hate that I can’t tell you this without feeling scared or ashamed. I’ve loved you since the moment you came into class with your big nerdy glasses. I’ve loved you since you came back for a senior year when you had everyone’s attention on you. And I’ve loved you even when you were in love with someone else.” 
Taking a breath, you stop your tangent for a moment before beginning again. 
“I’ve loved you during everything we’ve been through together. Even when I chose to ignore you, I woke up every morning with you still on my mind. It was hard, and I don’t know why I couldn’t let go of my feelings for you but a part of me was always hoping that one day you would feel the same way.”  
It’s done. There was nothing you could do to backtrack on your words. No time machine to take away your confession and erase it from his memory. Your heart felt free for the first time in years, and the weight on your shoulders lightened exponentially. 
Wonwoo doesn’t dare speak, and your pulse quickens from his prolonged silence. The mere seconds that passed felt like an eternity, and that was enough to bring you out of your drunken state. 
“Will you still love me tomorrow? When it's morning, and you’re sober. Will I still be the one you love?” Wonwoo's voice is timbre, barely loud enough to hear over your beating heart. 
“Yes. Even when you weren’t around. Even when you weren’t available, I still loved you,” you admit to him. 
The fingers that were laced with yours move to your jaw, Wonwoo’s palm tracing every outline of your face. The rough skin from his thumb contrasts the softness of your cheek. Memorizing every line and wrinkle, he continues to caress you, as if he was communicating with his touch. 
“If you didn’t want me tomorrow, you’d still be the person I wake up thinking about.  I hated not knowing whether you meant what you said,” he pauses, clarifying his jumble of words, “the night we fought, I mean. Because I heard you, even when I was blinded with jealousy and anger. I had hoped you meant what you confessed to me that night.” 
The sinking feeling in your stomach doesn’t subside. There hadn’t been a day in all the years you’ve known your best friend where you thought you would hear him reciprocate the feelings you were holding deep down inside you.
“What I’m trying to say is that I’m in love with you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize that it was you all along. I don’t know why I never admitted it to myself, but you’ve been in front of me this whole time.” 
The pad of Wonwoo’s thumb shadows over your bottom lip, your breath hitching under his touch. With soft eyes and an even softer touch, Wonwoo couldn’t take his hands off you. There was no lewd denotation behind his actions, just wanting to feel his skin against yours. 
“I feel so much regret because you were always the one person I truly wanted and I never acted on those instincts,” Wonwoo confided, the weight of his words seeping into you with a profound sense of awareness. 
“I’m yours, Wonwoo. That will never change,” you speak frankly. 
“Just promise me you’ll love me tomorrow too,” he chokes out. 
“I’ll love you even if there is no tomorrow.” 
chapter two, the first day of junior year. 
Before the age of sixteen, everything was a blur. Your routine was mundane, with average grades, average parents, and an even more average love life. Before the age of sixteen, there were no particular moments in all your years worth noting. It wasn’t until you met Wonwoo on the first day of eleventh grade. 
Once you laid your eyes on him, you saw the potential of a new friendship. However, your teenage self didn’t realize how deep-rooted Wonwoo would become in your life from that day forward. 
“Hi! It’s nice to meet you. Wonwoo right?” You greeted, your figure looming over Wonwoo who was sitting at the picnic table in the school's courtyard. 
The September sun shone bright, blinding Wonwoo as he placed a hand over his eyes to get a better look at the stranger in front of him. 
You explicitly remembered him eating lunch alone while playing Super Smash Bros on his Nintendo Switch. His black hair was long and covered his forehead, glasses were thick and large-framed. Wonwoo was a breath of fresh air from the other boys at your school. Unlike the rest of them, he was more reserved and didn’t talk much. His silence intrigued you. 
“Hi?” he replied as a confused frown graced his lips before he returned to his game.
Deciding to ignore his introverted personality, you introduce yourself. You take out your lunch box, unveiling the spam musubi you prepared the night before. 
“Do you mind if I join you?” you ask him even though you’ve already begun unpacking the food from your bag. 
“Well, I guess it’s okay,” he shrugged, interested in everything but the person sitting beside him. 
Peering closer at his screen, you watched with intent. The two characters fighting on a floating stage, Wonwoo spamming buttons with expertise. You’ve played Super Smash Bros before, but you weren’t as good as him. 
“Are you playing Smash Bros? You’re really good,” you mumbled, taking a bite of your food. 
“Thanks.” 
Miffed by his lack of speech, you continued to watch him play, his triangle kimbap left ignored as he focused on winning. 
“You can do multiplayer with this right? Can I play too?” you asked him, observing his gameplay over his shoulder. 
He shoots you a quirked eyebrow before returning his attention to his screen. Three to zero. You found Wonwoo to be an expert compared to your novice skills. 
“You know how to play?” Wonwoo stared at you in disbelief. 
“Duh! Sometimes Seokmin brings his switch for spare period. I only play Cloud or Bayonetta though,” you explained. 
Wonwoo looked impressed with your knowledge of the characters. He shrugged his shoulders before setting up his switch into a two-player mode. Handing you the red switch controller, you shook your head in refusal. 
“Nope. I can only play with the blue controller.” 
“Huh? How does that even make sense?” He scoffed but gave you the blue one anyway. 
Taking the controller from his hands, you gave him a grateful smile. 
“Blue is my favourite colour,” you told him, bumping your shoulder with his. 
Wonwoo is confused by your outward personality, unsure of how to react to you being so comfortable with someone you had just met, but he didn’t complain. It was his first day at a new school and it wouldn’t be so bad making a new friend as soon as possible. 
The player screen lit up and you quickly decided on Cloud, while Wonwoo opted to play Kirby. Smart, you thought. If played correctly, Kirby can easily absorb the abilities of his opponents. 
With a randomly chosen stage, the game commenced. It didn’t take long for Wonwoo to win. He was more experienced than you were, but you had fun nonetheless. 
“You’re terrible at this,” He chuckles, looking at you with a cat-like smile. 
The smitten grin on your face was difficult to hide as you stared back into his eyes. Something shifted in you that day, and it marked the first time you saw Wonwoo in a romantic light. Call it cliche for falling for him so quickly, but you couldn’t help it, you were only human after all. 
“I never said I was good,” you shrugged, feigning innocence. 
“I guess you’re right.” 
“Can we play again tomorrow?” 
“Sure,” Wonwoo nodded his head, placing down his switch to get back to his food. 
Enraptured by him from that moment on, you found yourself hopelessly wishing to become closer to Wonwoo. If there was one sure thing about you, it was persistence. From that day forward, you didn’t leave Wonwoo’s side, spending your lunch under the autumn sun and playing games on his switch. 
… 
october of junior year. 
[10:00 p.m]  [you: did you finish ur hw? :D] [wonwoo: yes. did u?] [you: nope :( it was hurting my brain so im watching nana]  [wonwoo: nana?] [wonwoo: never heard of it]  [you: omg…] [you: it’s the best anime ever!!]  [wonwoo: i didn’t know u liked anime] [you: uve got a lot to learn abt me wons] [wonwoo: wons?] [you: my nickname for u obvs hehe]  [*you changed wonwoo’s nickname to wons*]  [wons: ok]  [you: u should watch it. It WILL change your life]  [wons: ok, maybe later. gotta go to bed. see u tmrw]  [you: ok grandpa :p see u tmrw!!] [you: bring ur switch!]  [wons: sure. bye.] 
“Wonwoo! Wait up for me,” you hollered, waving your hand in the air even though his back was facing towards you. 
Turning around, Wonwoo stared blankly as you ran up to him. Halting his steps, he waited for you to catch up. The backpack you were wearing flops up and down as you picked up your speed. 
The weather was colder now, and the leaves morphed into deeper shades of yellow and red. Wind whistling as you finally reached where he stood, you gave him a bright smile, so bright that it offset the gloomy sky. 
“Morning,” he greeted you. 
Air knocked out of your chest, and you folded over with your hands on your knees, trying to calm your racing heartbeat. Wonwoo grasped your elbow to help, but this didn’t help your already out-of-breath state. His touch caused sparks to erupt under your skin. Luckily, the commotion caused by your run concealed your nerves. 
“Why didn’t you tell me we lived on the same street?” you heaved while Wonwoo used his grip to help you stand straight.
“How was I supposed to know?” he rebutted. 
Rolling your eyes at him, you knew he was right. But if you had known sooner, you could’ve spent your previous mornings walking with him to school. 
“Can we walk to school together from now on then?” you batted your eyelashes at him, shooting him a sweet smile. 
“I don’t mind,” he shrugged his shoulders again. 
You’ve found Wonwoo to be quite nonchalant, his reactions never more than a distant stare, a chuckle, or a shoulder shrug, no in between. Wonwoo’s lack of care for anything and everything is what endeared you the most. Despite his standoffish personality, you knew there was more to him deep down. He didn’t talk much, but his actions spoke louder than his words did. 
… 
november of junior year.
Thanks to your English teacher, Mr. Park, you and Wonwoo have been paired up for your biology project. Not only did that mean you would get to spend more time with Wonwoo but it also meant you secured a good grade for the assignment. 
Science in general has never been your strong suit, but whenever you asked Wonwoo to explain the concepts to you, everything somehow made sense. 
The walk to his house was nerve-wracking. It was the first time going over to a boy’s place, and the fact that it was Wonwoo made you even more anxious. He didn’t talk much about his family unless you asked. The only thing you knew was that he had an older brother named Seongho. 
“Ma! I’m home,” Wonwoo greeted his mother, and you're taken aback by how loud his voice got. 
Due to his introverted personality, Wonwoo didn’t talk at school unless spoken to, and it was exciting to finally see him in a setting where he was comfortable. 
His mom poked her head out from the kitchen and gave you both a warm smile. Patting her hands off the apron, she immediately pulled you into a hug. She smelt like lavender and vanilla, giving off a homey aroma. 
“Wonwoo! You didn’t tell me you got a girlfriend,” she exclaimed, pinching her son’s cheek. 
Wonwoos's face flared red, and he retracted from his mother's touch. “She’s not my girlfriend. We have a project to work on.” 
“Oops! Sorry. You two had better get to work then. I’ll call you when the food is ready. You’ll stay for dinner, right dear?” She beamed down at you. 
“If you and Wonwoo don’t mind, then I can,” you grinned at her while Wonwoo was urging you upstairs. 
“Of course, I don’t mind. It’s nice to see my little Wonwoo making friends at his new school,” she cooed at her son, which had him rolling his eyes. 
“Mom, I’m sixteen,” Wonwoo groaned, discreetly stepping towards the direction of his room. 
“Thanks, Mrs. Jeon!” you responded as Wonwoo dragged you by the wrist, hauling you along with him. 
His fingers are wrapped around your forearm, trying to get you away from his Mom as fast as he could. 
The moment you stepped into his room, you found it cleaner than an average teenage boy’s would be. Your eyes panned over his space, spotting the gaming pc in the corner. Marvelling at the RGB lighting, you gasped at the clicky-ness of the keyboard. 
“Woah… this is so cool!” you gushed, tapping random keys to feel the switches underneath. 
“I guess,” Wonwoo muttered, shutting the door behind him. 
The closed door muffled any sound from outside his room, and you were left alone with Wonwoo and the silence he brought along with him. 
“Your mom is really nice,” you chirped. 
Wonwoo responded with a shrug of his shoulders. Classic. Instead of saying anything more, he took the poster board out of his bag and placed it on his bed. 
“We should get started,” Wonwoo said firmly. 
You could only sigh at how serious he was about school. Of course, you knew the importance of diligence when it comes to projects and assignments, but you felt that this was the perfect time to learn more about your new friend. 
Sitting beside him on his bed, you crossed your legs and took the large biology textbook out of the bag alongside your laptop. 
“Inherited genes and Sickle-cell anemia, sounds boring,” you huffed. 
Wonwoo ignored your statement and grabbed the textbook from you to look up information that would help with your project. 
“Don’t you think we’re working on this too early? We have like…two weeks,” you whined. 
“The sooner we get this over with the better,” he nipped, flipping the pages without a single glance over at you. 
The brightness of your laptop illuminated Wonwoo’s dim room. Aside from the computer and his bedside lamp, the rest of his lights were off. Opening up the doc, you couldn’t help but sneak glances over at him. 
Wonwoo fixed his glasses, pushing the frames up his tall nose. You couldn’t stop yourself from staring. There was something about him that made him undeniably handsome, your teenage brain couldn’t comprehend it. 
“Y’know Mr. Park is pretty chill. We don’t have to do this all in one night.” 
“I know,” Wonwoo muttered, still reading the textbook, looking for information to cite for your project. 
Wonwoo could feel your eyes focused on him, but he ignored them, pretending to read the words on the page instead. Wonwoo didn’t mind that you had a habit of staring at him, but he didn’t know how to spark conversation. You were quite talkative, so he decided that it was better for you to take the lead. 
Putting up with his adamance, the two of you worked on your project for a good hour before you decided that the words "sickle cell" and "genes" were hurting your eyes. 
“Can we take a break, it feels like my brain is going to pop out of my skull,” you sighed, flopping against his mattress. 
Wonwoo shot you a scolding expression but gave in to your wishes. And like a lightbulb had gone off in your head, you quickly got back up. Furiously typing on your laptop, you go onto the illegal site where you had NANA bookmarked. 
“How about we watch an episode? You haven’t started it yet right?” you enquired, looking at him with the biggest grin on your face. 
“I haven’t, no,” he answered you. 
With a squeal, you clicked on the first episode while making yourself comfortable. Wonwoo moved next to you, and excitement coursed through your veins. His warmth radiated off him, and the feeling of him sitting so close made butterflies erupt within you. 
Despite Wonwoo’s reluctance to take a break from schoolwork, you found him genuinely interested in the show. Nothing could compare to the feeling of sitting in silence with him, just enjoying his presence as NANA played on your laptop. 
For the rest of your self-declared break, you and Wonwoo got through the first two episodes. 
There was a part of you that wondered if he could hear how fast your heart was racing, being that close to him. But you felt daring in that moment, allowing yourself to rest your head against his shoulder. Wonwoo stiffened slightly at your proximity but didn’t budge. If anything, he relaxed further. So you stayed in that position, if he could hear your thumping pulse, you didn’t care. 
“Well, what do you think?” you looked up at him, curious about his first impression. 
“It’s good. Nana seems very naive though,” he disclosed, pushing his glasses up once again. 
“Hmm, interesting. The plot gets better the more you watch, so I hope you’ll give it a chance,” you gave him a shy smile which he returned. 
Any other person probably would’ve refused to watch this show with you. Knowing Wonwoo, he was more into shounen than shoujo or slice of life. Yet, he spent an hour watching an anime that was out of his usual genre. It made you feel safe. Safe enough to talk about your interests without worrying whether or not he’d find you bothersome. 
“Sure. I think I liked it enough to watch on my own,” he admitted. 
“Wait. Really?” you gasped, shocked that he enjoyed it. 
“Yeah. At least then we have more to talk about,” he specified.
The smile on your face broadened, and you leaned into him even more as you both stared ahead, starting the third episode. Once again, he didn’t stop you. Instead, Wonwoo wrapped his arm around your shoulder pulling you closer to him. 
“You’re a good friend Wons,” you confirmed. 
“And you’re my only friend,” he confessed, patting your shoulder. 
“Don't worry. I’ll always be your friend,” you mumbled before staring deeply into his eyes. 
Wonwoo chuckled at your words, nodding his head in agreement. 
“I feel like I should be the one saying that,” he mused, his thumb rubbing circles into your skin. 
“It’s okay. I’m glad I decided to sit next to you on the first day of school,” you laughed, reminiscing about that warm September day. 
“I’m glad too.” 
After that day, Wonwoo had become more comfortable with talking to you about the things he didn’t share with others. He made you feel special. Although you had close friends like Seokmin and Mingyu during your first two years in high school, there were parts about yourself that you knew you couldn’t unveil to them. 
It wasn’t that they were judgmental or bad friends; Wonwoo just brought out something different in you. Although it took a while to break him out of his shell, he continued to reveal more about himself the more time you spent with him. 
The closeness that you two shared that night in his bedroom, watching NANA on your laptop sparked a flame inside you. Wonwoo took over every crevice of your mind, his scent, his touch, even if it was a mere hand on your shoulders, you didn’t want to go a day without him. Life was meaningless before you met Wonwoo, a blur of memories you couldn’t pinpoint. Now that he was with you, you didn’t want to ever go back to a time when he was not by your side. 
chapter three, present time. 
Sunlight pours through your curtains, hitting your eyes with a blinding sheen. The ache of last night's decisions trickles down your head and into the tense muscles of your shoulders. You can only curse your past self for drinking way more than your limit allows. 
Whatever had happened last night felt straight out of a movie, especially because it had caused you to dream about Wonwoo finally being yours. As you recollect the memories of yesterday, the pang in your heart intensifies. 
The oddly vivid visions of you and Wonwoo cuddling under blankets leave a bitter taste in your mouth. It felt so real you could almost smell the faint lingering scent of his cologne on your sheets. But alas, it was just another drunken fantasy you wish you could live in. 
“I’ll love you even if there is no tomorrow.”
You almost scoff at how cheesy you sounded in your dream. What kind of fool speaks this articulate after countless shots of tequila? 
The sounds of pots clanging brings you out of your thoughts, and you practically jump off your mattress and run to the entrance of your room. Placing an ear against the thick wood, you listen carefully for signs of an intruder. There’s a grunt that resounds through your apartment and has sirens blaring in your mind. You must’ve been very drunk last night, and stupid enough to leave your door unlocked. 
There was nothing in your bedroom that could be of use to you in a situation like this. Except for the dildo that June gifted you for your birthday last year. With a defeated sigh, you decided that it was needed during this life-or-death situation. Opening up your drawer you carefully take out the pink sparkly dildo that was still left in its packaging, gripping it tightly as you burst through the door. 
Screaming, you lunge towards the intruder’s large frame with your eyes shut tight, smacking him repeatedly with the phallic piece of plastic. 
“Get out! You freak! Get out!” You shriek, hitting his back with a large thump. 
The intruder groans in pain, the sound of his discomfort all too familiar. Halting your assault on his naked back, you open your eyes. Only for your sight to befall an extremely muscular and shirtless Wonwoo. 
“Ow! What the fuck?” Wonwoo grunts, turning around to see your smaller frame gripping a bright pink dildo. 
His eyes widen with recognition, adjusting his glasses, he chuckles at you and your dishevelled state. The sex toy in your hand falls to the ground as you stare at him with an expression filled with not only pure shock but horror. 
Never in your life did you think that Wonwoo would be the one standing shirtless in your kitchen. The idea of someone breaking into your house seems more plausible than whatever is happening before your eyes right now. 
“I’m tryna make you breakfast, and this is how you repay me?” Wonwoo laughs, grabbing the toy from your kitchen floor and placing it down on the counter. 
“I-Uhm. It’s a gift! Yeah,” you stutter, “June gave me it last year as a gift. It’s unused, I promise.” 
Wonwoo quirks an eyebrow at you, stepping forward, crowding you with his large chest. The counter hits your back and you find yourself caged between the granite and Wonwoo’s naked upper half. 
“So you used it to hit me instead?” Wonwoo deducts, his palms gripping the counter so you have nowhere left to run. 
Despite the awkward situation you put yourself in, your mind is elsewhere now that Wonwoo has you in his hold. The words that you want to come out of your mouth are clogged with Wonwoo’s bare chest, the only thing you’re able to focus on. 
“W-well, I thought you were breaking in so,” you start but Wonwoo cuts you off. 
“Do you not remember what happened last night, darling?” He asks you, and the breath in your throat is caught. 
“Last night? I-I thought that was a dream,” you mutter, still staring deeply into his eyes. 
Sighing, Wonwoo pushes the loose strand of hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek. His thumb moves languidly against your skin while you lean into his touch even more. 
“No. It wasn’t a dream. I told you I loved you last night and I meant it,” he clarifies, earnest with his confession. 
“I love you too,” the words spill out of your mouth effortlessly, like you were meant to tell him all along. 
Grinning down at you, Wonwoo places a gentle kiss on your lips. His large hands cupping your face as he does so. 
Pulling back he smiles at you once again, satisfied with the one little peck that he had given you. But you can’t help but pout. You wanted more from him, but there was a lot to address than just the feelings you two shared last night. 
Like the dildo suctioned to your counter, for example. 
“Why are you shirtless?” you ask, starting with the first thing in front of you. 
“Because darling, you’re wearing my shirt,” answering nonchalantly as he turns back to hand you a plate of eggs and bacon. 
Oh, right. You look down at the white shirt that’s draped over your frame. Dumbfounded, you mumble a quick thanks before nibbling on the food he gave you. 
Wonwoo grips your hand, pulling you to sit down on the couch with him. You weren’t sure what else to say, opting to focus on the food in front of you instead. If there was something Wonwoo wanted to mention, you gave him the time to do so. 
“You probably don’t remember me helping you get ready for bed. You were kinda out of it once we got home,” he explains. 
With your legs crossed on the sofa, you nod, processing the information before waiting for him to continue. 
Wiping the corner of your mouth, Wonwoo’s lips are upturned into a fond smile. Your cheeks grow hot as he continues to stare. 
“Whatever happened last night wasn’t a dream. I do love you, I mean it. I want to be yours if you’ll give me a chance,” he professes. 
All while you’re sitting there eating strips of bacon and a couple of eggs. You had been mistaken to think that last night was some fever dream because this moment is more fitting. 
For anyone else, eating while Wonwoo is admitting his love for you would be odd, and out of the ordinary. But this felt natural somehow like a different version of you in some other universe has already experienced it. 
“I just want to be yours, Wonwoo.” you sigh, placing your plate on the coffee table. 
Inching closer to him, you place yourself on his lap, your hands circling his broad shoulders. Your head makes itself at home in the dip between his shoulder and neck as you breathe in his cologne. 
Lazy Sunday Morning. Your favourite. 
“I’ve always just wanted to be yours,” your voice is meek, muffled from hiding your face against his skin. 
Wonwoo’s hand rubs up and down the expanse of your back, and you relax under his touch. Completely disarmed under the daze of your subsiding headache and the steady inhale and exhale of his breath. 
Nothing else in the world matters to you when you’re in his hold. Outside disruptions are muted, the only thing that can be heard is your heart pounding within the confines of your chest. 
Pulling back from where your head was resting, you drink in Wonwoo’s every feature. The ones that you’ve memorized and the ones you’ve missed from never being this close to him. You want to know all of him, want to feel and see all of him. 
With the most delicate of motions, you place your lips over his. There’s a ruggedness to his skin, yet he feels so gentle against you all at the same time. The softness of love that you’ve never experienced before. There haven’t been many instances where you’ve got to kiss someone so deeply, yet it’s the least of your worries. All that matters to you now is Wonwoo. 
He tightens his grip on your waist, pulling you closer to him, which almost seemed impossible. But he makes it happen anyway, clutching onto you like his life depended on it. 
“Wonwoo.” Pulling away, you whimper breathlessly, wanting more and more of him. 
The sweet sounds that erupt from you cause a groan to leave his throat, crashing his lips against yours once again. The tenderness that was evident before is overtaken by the heat of lust. Like tides to an ocean, Wonwoo kisses you with full force, and you don’t care if you can barely breathe or if your heart is suddenly going into overdrive. You’d rather suffocate in his grasp than go another minute without him all over you. 
“You’re fucking perfect, darling,” Wonwoo whispers in your ear, his lips trailing down your cheek and down to your neck. 
Your head lolls with pleasure, feeling him press hot kisses against your scorching skin. Tiny licks here and there that force your eyes to roll back, you find purchase in his black locks, tugging at them in an attempt to ground yourself. 
“Be my girlfriend. Be mine, please,” Wonwoo speaks in hushed tones, his lips searing against the shell of your ear. 
You moan out, nodding your head as his hand moves down to squeeze the meat of your ass. He pulls you right onto his hardening length, your sleep shorts leaving nothing up to the imagination. The hands he has placed on your bottom forces you to drag your hips back and forth against his clothed dick. 
“Yes, I want it so bad. I wanna be yours, forever,” you sigh, mustering up enough brainpower to answer him.
Before you two could get any further the shrill of a ringtone brings you out of your lustful state. Wonwoo refuses to let you go, instead, he keeps you firmly on his lap while he answers the phone. 
You can’t help but giggle at how frustrated he looks. Eyebrows furrowed with a disappointed frown on his swollen lips. He’s still hard against you, and the thought of teasing him while he’s speaking to someone over the phone seems like a brilliant idea. 
“What do you want, Jeonghan?” Wonwoo grumbles, his hand moving under your shorts to squeeze you properly. 
While his hand massages into the fat, you kiss up his neck while rubbing yourself against his clothed cock. His voice becomes strained, attempting to cover up the sounds of pleasure he’s emitting with a cough. 
“What? You had to call me just for that?” Wonwoo seethes, yet he continues to play with your ass as he takes his call. As if you’re some type of stress ball to relieve his vexation. 
“No. She’s right beside me,” he mumbles and you perk up now that his attention is back on you. 
Grabbing the phone that he’s holding, you greet Jeonghan through the speaker. 
“Hi Hannie!” 
“Hi, beautiful. Are you down to go to my place tonight? Everyone’s coming over,” Jeonghan explains, his voice like honey. 
Wonwoo rolls his eyes at the pet names, clearly unamused by his friend's flirty personality. Without a second to waste, he dives into the skin at the base of your neck, trickling down to your exposed shoulder where the collar of his shirt fails to cover. 
“O-of course! We’ll see you later, okay?” you stutter, unable to focus with Wonwoo all over you. 
“Got it! Don’t be late, love you!” He says his goodbyes before hanging up. 
“Love you too!”
Wonwoo stops in his tracks, his eyes piercing into yours, deadly and swirling with desire. The phone in your hand is discarded somewhere on the floor before he grabs your face, pinching you with his thumb and index finger. 
“You’ve got a lot of nerve baby, teasing me like that. Telling Jeonghan you love him,” Wonwoo spits, but there's amusement behind his serious tone. 
“M’sorry, I’ll make it up to you later, okay? I want to get ready for Jeonghan’s thing,” you smile at him cheekily as you release yourself from his hold. 
“Oh I’m sure you will,” he huffs, but lets you go anyway.
Acting unaffected, you get up from his lap, running to the bathroom to start a shower while you leave Wonwoo hot and bothered on the couch. You can’t help but giggle to yourself, excited for whatever awaits you later on. 
The pain and undeniable suffering you had gone through seemed like a memory of the past. The years of yearning for your best friend are nothing but another fever dream. At least you wish it was all a dream, but now that you have Wonwoo in this reality, you don’t want to let him go. 
It's almost laughable how quickly things can change overnight, it felt like yesterday you were crying yourself to sleep over Wonwoo not reciprocating your feelings, and now you have him shirtless on the couch after a very hot make-out session. 
This must be what your heart was telling you all along. This must be what was beyond the dark water of the unknown. You’re thankful you took the plunge because the risk of unveiling your true feelings has given you something undeniably saccharine in return. 
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Kiss it Better. 
chapter one.
When Wonwoo met you for the first time, he couldn’t help but find you annoying. You had a habit of sticking to his side when he chose to spend time alone, but in hindsight, it brought him more joy than annoyance. 
He had always been a shy kid and preferred to sit alone at lunch playing games or reading. But when you came into his life, he realized that some company isn’t so bad after all. 
Now that he’s older, and the two of you have grown together, he wouldn’t replace your presence for anyone else. There was something about your personality that made him feel comfortable. It wasn’t long before Wonwoo found a home within you, from your bright smile to your incessant need to play Super Smash Bros each lunch period. He’s thankful he had decided to let the walls he built up come down for the sake of your friendship.
… 
It wasn’t long before the two of you arrived at Jeonghan’s apartment. The door was left unlocked for others to come and go as they pleased. Music was blasting from his surround-sound speakers. Wonwoo wasn’t sure how his friend was able to get away from noise complaints, but he decided that it wasn’t any of his business. 
The only thing he was looking forward to was the look on Seokmin’s face once he saw that you were finally his. 
Wonwoo didn’t care that it was selfish of him to arrive with you draped on his arm; he wanted everyone to know that you were off limits. He simply couldn’t wait to see the reactions that would erupt from his friends once he disclosed that he’d claimed his mark on you. 
“Wonwoo!” Jeonghan calls out for him, standing by the island pouring drinks for him and Seungcheol. 
His attention diverges, stalking over to his friends with your hand clasped in his. The small action doesn’t go unnoticed as he watches Jeonghan briefly glance over to your intertwined hands. 
The pride brewing in his chest swells, you look irresistible and he knows what awaits him later on when you two get home. But he can indulge in his fantasy later, for now, he’ll settle for admiring your beauty in a more discreet way. Which wasn’t all that methodical in retrospect, because he can’t take his eyes off you. 
Your skirt is short and the frilly lace top you’re wearing shows off your cleavage tastefully. If Wonwoo had it his way, he wouldn’t have let you out of your apartment till the sun was up the next morning. 
“Hello, beautiful. You look amazing,” Jeonghan greets you, forcing you to take your hand out of his grasp to hug your extremely flirtatious friend.
The absence of your touch irked him, but he let you go, not wanting to startle the rest of the group with his growing possessiveness. 
“Thank you, Hannie,” your voice muffles from being engulfed in Jeonghan’s arms. 
“Alright, that’s enough,” Wonwoo gripes, clearly bothered with the way his friend is holding you. 
“You’re no fun,” Jeonghan rolls his eyes, before whispering something incoherent in your ear, causing a giggle to erupt from your sweet lips. 
Jeonghan lets go of you anyway, giving into Wonwoo’s sour attitude. 
“You guys just got here! Don’t tell me you’re going to be grumpy the whole time,” Jeonghan teases. 
 “I’m not grumpy, you just have grabby hands and I don’t need you all over my girlfriend for the rest of the night,” Wonwoo grumbles bitterly, taking ahold of your wrist to pull you closer to him. 
He sees the way you roll your eyes, but deep down he knows you enjoy how commanding he can become, especially with you. 
“Girlfriend huh? That’s a big word for you,” Jeonghan laughs while raising his eyebrows. 
“Jeonghan!” you gasp, amusement sparkling in your eyes. 
Wonwoo gives the two of you an irritated look before pulling you away to greet the rest of your friends. You don’t protest the way he handles you and he takes note of that. Who knew you could be so pliant, even in social situations? 
“You don’t have to worry about Jeonghan baby, you know how he is,” you murmur to him, shooting him a reassuring smile. 
“I’m not worried about him, darling,” he huffs. Jeonghan is the least of his worries. 
After what happened between you two this morning, Wonwoo can’t help but want you all for himself. God forbid you let Seokmin touch you the way he did. The mere thought of it made him feel sick. 
He understands that he shouldn’t have thoughts about you with other people, especially because he knows you haven’t dated anyone officially before. But now that you’re his, he has to make sure it stays that way.
“Okay, but still. Just relax, I'm not going anywhere,” you reassure him. 
Your gentle words and the soft squeeze you give him allow him to chill out a little more. He couldn’t help but be on high alert after what Seokmin put you through, after what he put you through. 
Wonwoo has the constant reminder that you’re both here for a good time, and even though he might not be able to hold himself back once his eyes are set on Seokmin, he continues to obey your wishes. 
Disappointment proceeds him as he feels you leave his side. Wonwoo lets go of you, allowing you to grab drinks from Jeonghan’s bar. Instead of wandering around like a loner, he sits on the couch, patiently waiting for your return. 
“Hey, Wonwoo? Do you remember me?” a girl’s voice brings him out of his thoughts. 
Turning to the person who forces themselves into the seat next to him, he frowns at her. She didn’t illuminate the room the way you did, and her voice was unpleasant to his ears. 
“No. Sorry,” he kept his response curt, not wanting to entertain the faceless stranger who was attempting to flirt with him. 
“It’s me? Josh’s friend. We met at Seokmin’s place last time,” she continued to press, and Wonwoo could feel his ears growing hot with annoyance. 
“Oh, right.”  
A hand is placed on his shoulder and he flinches away, he doesn’t want anyone but you touching him. It almost makes him want to throw up. 
“I have a girlfriend,” he quips, not wanting to prolong the interaction any longer. 
The girl beside him cackles, and Wonwoo really can’t stand the sound of her voice. 
“That’s never stopped me,” her voice lowers an octave in an attempt to sound seductive but Wonwoo feels nothing but repulsed by her very being. 
He moves further away from her, evidently angry with the way she’s coming onto him. Cursing at himself inside his mind, he should’ve never flirted with her to begin with. The puzzle pieces start to slowly align as he remembers that night at Seokmin’s place. It was that night that you went home without him, and the realization hit him like a truck. 
A part of him always wondered what moment had been your breaking point, and there she was, sitting right beside him. 
“I really don’t care,” Wonwoo doesn’t spare another glance, escaping her suffocating presence to search for you. 
Stopping in his tracks, he watches as Seokmin comes up to you, clearly apprehensive as you search Jeonghan’s fridge for a spare Diet Coke. The music is blaring, and the sheer volume of the speakers drowns out Seokmin’s voice. 
He watches as you start to notice that someone is talking to you, trying to get your attention. Wonwoo can see the pained expression in your eyes, and he can’t even blame you. Seokmin was your friend before he even met you, and he can’t even fathom the pain you’re feeling from losing someone so close to you. 
Sure, he understands the depth of your relationship with Seokmin, but that doesn’t stop the fury that is forcing its way through his veins. Smoke practically comes out of his nose and ears as he watches everything unfold before his very eyes. 
Seokmin is visibly trying to reason with you, his lips moving at lightning speed as you stand there holding your drink close to your chest. Every bone in Wonwoo’s body wants to go up to you and snatch you away as fast as possible. But he can’t help but relish in the sight of Seokmin so desperate for your attention. It’s satisfying to see your reactions morph from sorrow to anger the longer you’re frozen in your place. 
The second he sees tears beginning to well up in your eyes is the moment Wonwoo finally decides to take action. 
Marching up to you, he pulls you by the waist until you are glued to him. With a firm hand, he squeezes you tightly, staking his claim in front of Seokmin. 
“I’m sorr—,” the words Seokmin so desperately wants to say are cut off by Wonwoo’s presence. 
Wonwoo’s lips press into a thin line, gazing down at him with nothing but a look of disgust, and also triumph. Seokmin seems to realize he’s lost because he steps back slowly, shaking his head as his shoulders slouch with defeat. 
Wonwoo has won, and Seokmin can’t do anything to get in his way anymore. 
“I don’t know why you think you’re allowed to talk to her, but you should leave her alone from now on,” Wonwoo seethes, gaze unwavering. 
“Whatever man,” is all Seokmin can say before retreating into the crowd. 
Wonwoo turns you slightly, hand placed delicately on your cheek, scanning your features to make sure that you’re alright. 
“You okay darling?” he asks, before pecking your lips. 
“I’m okay. I don’t wanna be here anymore, can we go home?” you squeak, your voice faltering. 
Wonwoo hates to see you affected by someone so unimportant like Seokmin. 
He doesn’t think for another second before agreeing with your request. Bidding Jeonghan farewell while holding tightly onto your hand. Before either of you knew it, you were out the door and on the way back home. 
The unsavoury moments that happened while at Jeonghan’s place are gone with the wind as Wonwoo speeds down the road and back to your apartment. 
“Thank you for earlier, I was so in shock I couldn’t even move or speak,” you mutter, grabbing his palm and placing it on your cheek. 
Wonwoo feels your warmth and glances at you pouting as you stare out at the empty road. 
“It’s alright darling, you’re here now, that asshole is not going anywhere near you anymore,” Wonwoo reassures you as he takes your hand in his, giving you a comforting squeeze in an attempt to soothe the thoughts he knows are running through your head. 
The moment Wonwoo reaches your building, he quickly parks the car before running to the passenger side to open your door. His hand is out in front of him for you to hold while you take a step, doing everything he can to distract you from what happened.
Once the front door of your apartment closes behind him, you turn around with a cheeky smile. It almost gives him whiplash at how quickly your mood changes. 
“I didn’t peg you as the possessive type,” you remark, eyes glinting against the dim lighting of your living room lamp. 
“I'm not. But it’s different with you, darling,” he admits. 
Wonwoo rarely felt jealousy in his previous relationships, he knew he was in control either way. Although he knows how much you love him, he still finds himself peeved when someone other than him is close to you. There's a fire within him that he couldn’t extinguish, one that only you could put out. 
“You gonna give me what you promised earlier,” Wonwoo’s voice lowers an octave, crowding your smaller frame. 
He towers over you while watching the way your eyes shine over with intrigue. The image of you moaning for him is a vision he can’t erase from his mind, a vision he wishes he could replay over and over. 
“Depends. Were you jealous about Seokmin coming up to me?” you press, slender fingers tracing circles into his chest. 
Your touch felt like a crackling fire under his skin, Wonwoo’s thoughts were depleted of anything that could distract his awakening need to ravish you. 
“I think you know the answer to that already.”
Stepping closer to you, he places both his hands on your waist, pulling you in until you’re flush against him. His breath trails against your skin as he breathes you in, wanting to memorize the sweet notes of your perfume. The smell of lemon blossom and amber engulfs his senses. 
Amyris Femme. His favourite. 
You have always known how much he loves the smell of it on you. It’s simply addictive and intoxicating. Everything about you is always so sweet, from your honeyed eyes to your heavenly voice, the moans you exude dripping in sugar. From head to toe, you are everything Wonwoo’s ever wanted to indulge in, wanting to experience the high of you with all seven senses. 
He’s convinced that some higher power has sculpted you into everything he’s ever asked for. The universe had known all his preferences, and all his interests and bottled them up into one person. You. 
You. You. You. 
His.
 His darling.  
Cradling your cheek, he presses his lips against yours, truly savouring every brush of skin against yours. Drinking in your sweet scent through his taste and sense of smell. The longer the two of you stand there and make out, the more passionate it becomes. 
Wonwoo pushes himself against you even further, until he’s sure you can feel his already hardening length grow between you. 
You own him in so many ways, in ways you probably wouldn’t be able to comprehend. From his heart to his very soul, he’s yours. And he wants to show you how much of an effect you have on him. Wonwoo wants to show you how crazy you make him. 
Taking the lead, Wonwoo doesn’t relinquish his hold on you as you two slowly move to your bedroom. Opening the door while he leaves wet kisses up and down your neck with the goal of leaving marks against your delicate skin. 
“Wonwoo,” you sigh, your smaller hands gripping his biceps as he lays you down on the bed. 
Wonwoo doesn’t rush, taking his time to strip you of your clothes. His hands breeze against the bare skin of your stomach, pulling up your top along the way. Eyes zeroing in on the black lace that’s clad against your breasts, he can feel the drool starting to pool in his mouth. 
Your skirt is next, and with a hawk eye, he watches the way you lift your hips as he brings down the one thing that's obstructing him from completely devouring you. 
“Please, I wanna go faster,” you whine, squirming under his touch. 
Wonwoo refuses, he needs this moment to seep into his brain until it’s all he can see when his eyes are closed. The desperation emitting from you is almost tangible, but he can’t bring himself to waste a precious second. 
One leg after the other, and finally you’re bare, partially exposed under his body. 
Ready. Waiting. 
“I wanna savour you, darling,” Wonwoo’s baritone voice reverberates against the four walls that enclose the both of you. 
You sigh with annoyance and it only intrigues Wonwoo further. He never thought your brattiness would translate to the bedroom. How naive of him to think otherwise. Excitement courses through his veins, imagining all the fun he’s about to have with you. 
“Just fuck me please, I wanna feel you inside me,” you whisper in his ear, bringing him closer to you. 
“Holy shit, you can’t talk like that or I’ll have to give you what you want.” He groans, hooked on how sexy you sound. 
The cheeky smile you give him returns, and he’s bewitched by your beautiful features. Fully naked before him except for your bra and panties. 
Pinning you against the bed, Wonwoo regains control over his thoughts, the same thoughts that are screaming at him to take you in one go. He rebukes those sentiments, he knows what he wants. 
He knows what you need. 
“But I wanna know what it’s like. I know you wanna fuck me, so just do it.” 
Wonwoo almost loses his vision with the mere utterance of your words. How much of a nymph do you become once you’re horny? Something about the way you speak is so saccharine, putting him in a trance. You could force him into murdering someone with that tone, and he would do it with a smile on his face.
“You’re gonna have to try harder than that, baby,” his voice strains, the control he once had starting to lose itself within your lustful gaze. 
Thinking of ways to stop you from saying anything more, he rips your panties off in one go. Nimble fingers graze against your plush thighs, squeezing and pinching where he can. 
The whimper you let out is nothing but music to his ears. Seeing you desperate for his touch causes him to focus on his end goal. He wants you to unravel before him, deflowering you till you’re fucked out and panting his name. 
As he spreads your legs, he can’t help but allow his nose to trail against your inner thighs, inhaling the scent of your body emitted under the heat of his touch. He doesn’t stop until he’s at the apex of your sex, glasses fogged while the bridge of his nose is rubbing against your skin. 
Wonwoo finally allows himself to dive in. Ripping the frames off his face, teasing your folds with wet, hot kisses. He repeats his actions till you're moaning deliriously under him. 
“W-Wonwoo, please, fuck,” you cry out while he watches your hole clenching around nothing. 
One of the hands that was holding your thighs down moves to your entrance, teasing you before he slowly inserts a finger inside you. Your head hits the pillows while your eyes are screwed shut, and Wonwoo relishes in your pleasure. 
“God you’re so fucking tight, so wet,” Wonwoo mutters before licking at your clit. 
Nothing is more euphoric than hearing you struggle to contain yourself. His boner getting harder to ignore as the juices from your pussy squelch with every thrust of his finger. 
“Is that what you do when you touch yourself? Using your fingers to fuck this tiny hole?” He asks even though he knows you won’t be able to answer. 
You’re too busy twitching from his hands on you, gripping onto the sheets to the point the threads look like they’re about to tear. 
Wonwoo takes your silence as an answer before fully engulfing your cunt in his mouth. Practically making out with your pussy lips, he licks and rubs your sensitive heat till you writhe against him. 
“You taste so good darling,” he mutters before taking a deep inhale of your musk, “no one’s ever touched you like this huh?” 
“N-no. Just you,” you squeak. 
“Good girl.” 
Hooking your legs over his shoulders, his free hand moves up your body till he’s able to grope at your breasts. The feeling of the lace covering your pert nipples motivates him to make you cum faster. 
Your body vibrates within his hold while he resumes eating you out. Dipping his tongue into your entrance as his thumb goes to rub your clit in sharp circles. He can feel your abdomen retract from his actions. You're close. 
It’s only a matter of time before your juices begin to pour out of your pussy, flooding his mouth with sweet nectar. Wonwoo fully believes he could get drunk from the taste of your cum, the liquid gold dripping down his chin as he slurps and nips at your puffy bundle of nerves. 
“This pussy is mine,” he concludes, slapping your dripping core. 
Eyes drunk with lust, he smiles up at you. A smirk filled with pride as you’re left twitching against the mattress. Hair displaced against the pillowcases, skin glistening under the nebulous light of your lamp. 
Your room is filled with the aroma of sex and sweat, your chest heaving up and down as you come down from your high. Wonwoo’s length straining against his pants, he can’t neglect his need to fuck you for any second longer. 
Laying there, winded from your orgasm, he lets you watch him as he removes the clothes covering his body until there’s nothing left. Wonwoo’s abs and muscular arms flex as he releases himself from his tight pants. He clasps his palm around his cock, rubbing himself while staring down at your fucked out state. Grunts erupt from his throat while he rubs the bead of pre cum dripping down his tip. 
You stare at him, eyes lidded, before sitting up to take off your last piece of clothing. Your breasts bounce as you release them from the confines of your bra. The tip of your fingers graze your nipples, playing with them while Wonwoo stands over you, stroking himself. 
He’s so in deep, it’s the first time in a long time that he’s felt like he’s about to combust in seconds. He hasn’t even been inside of you yet, but he knows he could cum untouched at just the sight of you playing with yourself in front of him. 
“Will you fuck me now? Wanna feel you cum inside me,” you plead with doe eyes, your other hand coming down to your heat. 
He watches you insert a finger in yourself, pumping in and out, matching the rhythm of his movements. 
Before you can let out another sound of delight, Wonwoo halts whatever he’s doing to flip you around. With you on your stomach, he focuses all his attention on your plump ass. Groping you with rough palms, and your hips fly off the bed to give him better access. 
Retracting his hand, he comes down to you even harder. The slap on your skin echoes throughout your room. You squeak but he can see the juices starting to gush out of your pussy. 
Fuck, Wownoo is obsessed. Obsessed with your neediness, obsessed with the way your ass jiggles with every strike he lands on you. He simply can’t wait to be inside you, engulfed in the heat of your tight walls. 
“Hngh, Wonwoo!” you almost scream, your voice becoming nasally every time he hits you. 
The hand marks on your soft skin drive him crazy, and he knows that if he doesn’t fuck you soon, he’ll cum prematurely. 
“What a needy little thing. You want it that bad huh?” he taunts, spreading your ass cheeks, watching the wetness drip down to your thighs. 
“Please, take me please,” you continue to beg, your voice level as you stare at him over your shoulder. 
Your hips cant back and forth, waving your tight pussy in front of him. Enticing him to fuck you. 
“You’re a fucking brat, you know that?” Wonwoo grunts, slapping your sopping hole. 
Jerking forward, you let out a salacious moan, eyebrows furrowing as you slump back down onto the bed. 
“I’m being so patient, baby. Just stick your cock in me please,” you fuss, lifting your hips again. 
Wonwoo sighs, turning you over once again so you’re on your back. 
“You’re lucky I love you,” he grunts, grabbing your legs and pulling you towards him. 
Sitting on his haunches, he spreads you out, getting the perfect view of your glistening entrance. Taking his dick in his hand, he rubs the tip against your folds. You match his thrusts, moving up as he envelopes the underside of his length between your soaking lips. The sounds emitting from your bodies connecting is sinful and Wonwoo’s jaw goes slack, finally feeling your heat against his manhood. 
“God, this pussy.” 
“Wonwoo, fuck me,” you whimper, grabbing his biceps to pull him against you. 
Engulfing you into a heated kiss, he continues to slide his cock along your slit. The sheer wetness of your pussy lubricates him enough to move with a rushed pace. He’s not even inside you yet and he’s already starting to feel that knot form in his lower stomach. 
“You gonna be a good girl? Show me how bad you want this cock inside you?” he whispers, lips brushing along your own. 
“Yes. fuck yes,” you pant breathlessly. 
Slotting his arm between the two of you, he finally aligns his length with your entrance. He can feel you trying to get him inside you, thrusting up slightly to try and catch the tip so it pushes into your awaiting heat. 
But before you can get away with your tricks, he slaps your thighs. Wonwoo’s large hand presses you down firmly before you can get any further. 
“Liar. You said you were gonna be a good girl,” he spits, “don’t get impatient or I'm gonna leave you lying here without cumming again.” 
You pout at his words. Your cheeks are hot, and your eyes are teary. The things you make him feel, it’s unmatched. 
“Gonna breed this little cunt till you're stuffed full,” he groans, finally inserting his dick inside your heat. 
The gasp you let out is high-pitched. And Wonwoo’s head falls against the space within the dip of your shoulder. His hands are firm against your waist, thrusting into you until he’s fully sheathed in your pussy. Being inside you was like dipping into molten lava, the heat of your cunt enveloping him with such a tight grip he almost faints upon entering you.  
“How are you so tight?” Wonwoo curses. “You feel so good, baby.” 
He didn’t expect you to be gripping his cock like this. It’s like nothing he’s ever felt before. Your pussy is made for him with how snugly he fits inside you. 
“It’s so big, fuck!” you moan, breathing heavily. 
Wonwoo doesn’t give you enough time to adjust to his length, even though he should. Blinded by searing hot pleasure, he begins to pound in and out of you. Skin slapping as his thrusts become erratic. With eyes rolling to the back of your head, you pull at his strands of hair and he groans at the pain that mixes with the high your cunt gives him. 
At that moment, Wonwoo concludes that he doesn’t want anyone but you. For as long as he can, he wants to be the only one to fuck you, to give you orgasm after orgasm. Until you're spent and in and out of consciousness, he wants to be the only one who can make you feel this way. 
As if a curse is placed on him, your phone buzzes against your nightstand. Seokmin’s contact is on clear display for both of you to see. Wonwoo ceases his movements, sitting up and grabbing your phone from the nightstand. 
“Answer it,” he speaks firmly. 
“What?” 
“You heard me. Answer it and show him I’m the only one who can make you feel this good.” 
There’s a flash of panic in your eyes, but Wonwoo knows you’ll obey his wishes anyway. He knows how deeply you’ve fallen for him. You can’t refuse him despite the compromising circumstances, and he’ll continue to use it to his advantage. 
Length still buried to the hilt inside you, you swipe at your phone to answer. Wonwoo presses the speaker button before resuming his rushed pace. Bullying your hole while you attempt to at least seem coherent enough to answer Seokmin. 
“Seokmin?” You whisper, trying your best to conceal the moans that are threatening to slip past your lips. 
“Hey. I just wanted to call and say sorry about earlier. That was stupid of me—,” Seokmin attempts to get his apology in but he’s cut off by your moans. 
Wonwoo slaps your clit while thrusting inside you, his length enveloped in your velvety walls. 
“You okay?” Seokmin asks you, and Wonwoo’s satisfied by the scene in front of him. 
You’re flustered and trying your best not to reveal that you’re being fucked hard by your boyfriend, while your ex-friend is trying to reconnect with you. Key word, trying. 
“Tell him you don’t want to ever see him again,” Wonwoo grunts out as he continues to fill you up deliciously, thrusting inside you hard enough that Seokmin could probably hear it over the phone. 
“Fuck! Wonwoo! ‘M sorry Seokmin, but I don’t want you to talk to me anymore. Please, don’t contact me again.” Whimpers escape your lips and Seokmin stutters over the speaker. 
Wonwoo knows that Seokmin is aware of what’s happening on your side of the phone call. The line goes dead the moment you utter your last words to him. 
“Bet you liked that huh? You like it when I show everyone that you’re mine?” Wonwoo emphasizes while he continues to push past your entrance. 
“Yes. Shit,” you mewl out, clenching your walls against his thick cock. 
The ridges of your pussy massage Wonwoo in the most perfect way. Throwing his head back the slightest bit, he watches how his dick moves in and out of you. The creamy ring of your mixed juices pooling at the end of his hardness only arouses him further. 
“You gonna let me cum inside you?” Wonwoo questions, not to ask, but to make sure you’re prepared to feel his seed seeping into you. 
“Mhm. I wanna feel you fill me up,” you let out a breathy moan. 
Tossing you onto your stomach, Wonwoo pulls out and grapples you into the position he wants you in. Clutching onto your hips, he sits on his heels while forcing you onto his thighs. Your back against his chest, head lazing back onto his shoulder while Wonwoo’s muscular bicep wraps around your neck, placing you into a headlock. 
Entering your abused cunt once again, he assaults your pussy with enough force and strength to send you into another dimension. Wonwoo bounces you on his cock and you’re screaming his name at this point. His balls slap against your ass cheeks, while the juices from your hole drip down and onto his thighs. 
“I-I’m gonna cum,” you wail, your walls spasming. 
Wonwoo's balls retract while your pussy pulsates, your cum coating his dick. He pumps into you one more time until his sticky release fills your walls. The flood of semen overflowing while his red tip kisses your cervix, holding you firmly in place as he continues to cum inside you. 
“Hmph, it’s so good. Your cock feels so good,” your words are slurred as Wonwoo releases you from the headlock. 
Body slumping over, you push your ass in the air, giving Wonwoo the most delectable view of his cum overflowing past the lips of your bruised cunt. The thick white substance comes out in globs as you lay down with your legs spread. 
Wonwoo can feel the twitch in his cock, almost coming back to life as he watches your little pussy push out his cum. 
“You were so good darling, so good for me,” he mutters, kissing your temple as you lay there spent and exhausted. 
“Fucking love you and your big cock,” you mutter, turning around to kiss him passionately. 
Pride blooms within his chest, knowing he was your first. The elation Wonwoo feels is comparable to when you confessed your love for him. 
He’s finally won. You’re his, and he can’t wait to show you how much he loves you every chance he gets. Not only by fucking your brains out but also with dates and random acts of affection. He can’t wait to show you off, to let the world know that you’re his best friend and girlfriend. 
“Gonna clean you up okay? Then we can take a shower,” he imparts, wrapping you up in your blankets so you don’t get cold. 
“Wonwoo?” 
“Yes, baby?” 
“I love you,” you call out, smiling at him lazily, your eyes tired but full of fondness. 
“I love you, too.” 
Wonwoo woke up that morning feeling refreshed. The sunlight beaming down on him through your curtains. Your nude body is pressing into him. He loves how he can observe you so closely, taking note of every line and freckle on your skin. The rays of the sun hit you, causing your skin to glow beautifully. Your breath steady as you sleep peacefully, curled against his side. 
Wonwoo doesn’t know how long he was lying there admiring you and how gorgeous you are, but his excitement spiked when you began to stir. 
“Good morning darling,” he whispers wistfully in your ear. 
The smile that tugs along your lips makes his heart flutter, and he swears he’s never felt this whole in so long. He can’t remember the last time he felt happiness in its true form. The closest thing that made him experience this type of joy was that night in his bedroom watching NANA with you when you two were still in high school. 
“Morning,” your voice is sickly sweet, enough to have him grinning at such early hours in the day. 
Shifting from your spot, you prop yourself up using your forearms, hair moves swiftly with your movements.
“Sleep well?” 
There’s a shy smile on your face, eyes twinkling with the sunlight, and Wonwoo can only presume that it was you recollecting the memories of last night. 
“The best,” you mumble, leaning in to peck his lips. 
What was meant to be an innocent peck turns into something more heated. Wonwoo grabs you so you’re sitting on his lap, a squeak erupting from your throat as he manhandles you. 
“Wonwoo!” you yelp, slapping his bare chest. 
He doesn’t respond to your dumbstruck reaction, instead, he continues to kiss you, harder than before. That morning he woke up a victim to morning wood, and the only way he could even fathom relieving himself was to fuck you senseless. 
The angle he has you in is sinful, your bare cunt rubbing against his length, his hands firm on your hips, rubbing your folds against the underside of his cock. 
Your head is thrown back, submitting to the pleasure that Wonwoo continues to give you. Removing his hands, he lets you move on your own accord while he focuses on your breasts. His large hands squeeze the flesh, pinching your nipples till your eyebrows are strewn tight. 
“Oh fuck…,” your voice trails, your head coming down, entranced by how Wonwoo’s hardness slides between your pussy lips. 
Wonwoo groans, trying his best not to cum from how wet you’ve become from a little bit of foreplay. It almost feels like he’s still dreaming, watching your hips sway against him. The fuzzy feeling in his brain doesn’t cease, the same fuzziness he felt last night while you were under him, screaming his name. 
“You like that, huh?” He mutters against your skin, trailing kisses all over your chest. 
The same hands that were fondling your round breasts come down to your ass, lifting you. There is a whine that leaves you, and Wonwoo can feel your disappointment from the loss of contact. 
The whine you let out dies quickly as Wonwoo forces you down on his erect cock, pushing your hips till you’ve fit the whole thing inside you. The breath is knocked out of his throat as your warm walls welcome him back into your heat. Being inside you is life-changing, his hand dull in comparison to the feeling your tight hole gives him. 
“So big,” is all you can say. 
“Wanna see you ride me, baby,” he breathes out, trying to centre himself so he doesn’t spurt his cum inside you before you even get to move. 
Your fingers dig into the skin on his shoulders, and slowly, you lift yourself off him before slamming back down. Wonwoo grunts at your speed, not expecting you to use so much force. 
“Shit. Slow down darling,” he sputters, trying to control the way you're bouncing furiously on him. 
“I don’t wanna, it feels too good,” you pout, staring down at him with the most lewd expression. 
Your jaw goes slack, panting for him like a dog in heat. He can feel your walls clench with each stride you take and the words he had on the tip of his tongue evaporate into thin air. He knows if he allows you to continue he won’t be able to savour you on top of him. 
Instead of flipping you on your back, Wonwoo’s arms wrap around you, bringing you close to his chest. His feet are planted firmly against the mattress, he holds you tightly before fucking up into your delicious cunt. 
“This pussy is fucking mine,” he growls, emphasizing his words with each thrust. 
“Baby, I-I can’t, I wanna cum,” you sob, tears of pleasure running down your cheeks. 
“Cum for me darling, give it to me,” and as if on command, you do exactly that. 
Wonwoo’s palms drift to your ass, spreading your cheeks, squeezing them tight as he forces you to match his pace. Almost blinded by the sheer pleasure, he pumps into you a few more times before his semen floods your insides, thick and warm, it mixes with the nectar dripping from your heat. As he releases, he keeps his hands firmly on your waist, plugging you to ensure none of his cum spills out. 
The two of you lay like that for a while, catching your breath after Wonwoo had fucked your brains out. Again. In all honesty, he’s convinced that he’ll never get tired of fucking you. 
“I don’t think I’ll be able to walk tomorrow,” you sigh, voice muffled as you rest along the slope of his shoulder. 
“So we can’t go again?” Wonwoo asks, feigning innocence, “Hey! Ow!” 
The playful slap you give him on his bicep stings as he chuckles at your wordless response. 
“No more,” you refuse his request. 
“Oh, Wonwoo! You’re so big!” he imitates your voice from earlier, teasing you until you beg him to stop. 
Propping yourself up, his flaccid cock slips out of you, the cum spilling onto his abdomen. 
“You fucker!” you hit his chest again and Wonwoo erupts into a fit of laughter. 
“Oh baby, this pussy is mine.” Your voice lowered in multiple octaves, copying the words he spoke out of lust, “Not so funny now, is it?” 
Wonwoo continues to crack up at your embarrassed state, eyes turning to slits as he tries to calm himself down. 
“Actually, it’s pretty funny,” he attests, grabbing your chin to kiss your cheek. 
“Fine. I won’t say anything while we’re doing it anymore.” You complain, but he knows you secretly love it. 
Wonwoo quirks an eyebrow up at you, in love with your playful side. Still sitting on his lap naked while you’re bickering with him is just as hot as you riding him with your boobs in his face. 
“That wouldn’t stop me,” he shrugs, pretending to act nonchalant. 
The best part of fucking you is how vocal you are, and it drives him insane. 
“Whatever you horny loser,” you roll your eyes. 
Grabbing your arms he pulls you down against him again, kissing your neck, and he can feel you relax under his touch. 
“Says the one who has a massive dildo in their drawer,” he whispers in your ear before falling back onto the mattress, chuckling at your dumbfounded state. 
“I’ve already told you! It was a gift from June and it's unused,” you huff, emphasizing the word unused. 
“Sure it is,” he drawls, not convinced. 
“I'm serious! I literally took it out of the box before beating you with it.” 
“Whatever you say, darling,” he snickers before enveloping you in his arms, “let’s use it next time, yeah?” 
For the rest of the day, you both lay there, talking about the most random things after a long but steamy shower. With fresh sheets on the bed, the atmosphere is filled with nothing but warmth and utter joy. 
This past month or two has been a whirlwind of realizations. Realizations that have shifted the world around him into something beautiful. If someone had told him at the beginning of the school year that he would find a new meaning of love in you, he would’ve laughed with disbelief. But now that you’re here, sitting beside him with the most angelic smile on your face, he recognizes just how much comfort a single person can bring. Not even the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore while he visited his hometown could outweigh the feeling of tranquillity that he got when he was with you.
Even though he regrets not confronting his feelings for you sooner, he can’t find a reason to complain. Everything had fallen into place, and for the first time since he was seventeen, he realized that the one person he was searching for was in front of him this whole time. 
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epilogue. 
freshman year of university. 
[8:56 p.m.]  [you: raval tonite w junepi and the others?]  [wons <3: yeah but can we leave early? i wanna play league after :)]  [you: is this u tryna get out of drinking by being my dd?]  [wons <3: maybe] [you: fineee but we leave at 12] [wons <3: anything for u darling]  [you: darling?]  [wons <3: u like it?]  [you: yes!! its cute hehe]  [wonwoo has changed your nickname to “darling <3”] 
the end.
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⊹ a/n: thank you for reading this story! this thing is my baby and i would love to hear your thoughts :) i appreciate everyone who took their time reading it because i poured my whole heart into it :") thank you again and see you in the next fic ♡ please rmbr to reblog and share your thoughts :3 it motivates me to continue writing stories like these for u ♡
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marvelwitchergilmore · 28 days ago
Text
Sweetheart
Summary: Tyler Owens x Fe!Reader -> Times when you told Tyler to not call you 'Sweetheart' and the one time you did.
Disclaimer: This had been a w-i-p over the last couple of days so if it feels patchy, I apologise. Best friends to lovers, mutual pining, completely oblivious and scared idiots. Two almost kisses, one actual kiss, long love confession, little angst, lots of fluff, one bed trope, fake dating (sorta), lots of uses of the nickname 'Sweetheart', getting caught in a tornado, cowboy romance books mentioned. Not Proof Read.
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You could remember the first time you told Tyler to stop calling you ‘Sweetheart’. 
It had been when he had been fixing his truck outside the fifth motel of the season. 
You’d both been friends for years. Ever since college. In fact, you were the first friend he made there. You’d been sitting under a tree since every bench either had a couple or a massive group of friends at each one. That was when he joined you. 
“Hey, do you mind if I sit here? It looks like most places are taken.”
Moving your bag from the spare patch, you let him sit down. Then you noticed his text book. 
You both got to talking and you found out your classes shared a building, and with a similar timetable for classes and a shared fear of student society nights, you both stuck together. 
Tyler took you to a couple of rodeos, showing you round and explaining everything that went on behind the scenes. Which was also when you found out he was an ex-bull rider. 
You showed him around campus and the best place to study, and when neither of you were working, you’d show him around your home town. 
And the rest was history. 
You’d both been together ever since. 
However, it wasn’t until after you both experienced an EF-4 whilst ‘off duty’ that you found something out about yourself. 
You were in love with Tyler. 
Of course, you’d always loved him as a friend. He was your best-friend and had been for years. Except, until that moment, you didn’t realise how deeply. And you couldn’t remember when it had happened. Had it been right away and you just confused it with friendship love? Or was it long after you made friends with him? 
You had a thousand and one questions about it, but something you didn’t question was how Tyler felt about you. Of course, he loved you, too. You were one of his best friends. But that was how he loved you. As a friend. 
And you were happy with that. More so considering letting your new fact be known out-loud might not only cost you your job but also your long time friendship with someone who you considered family.
Except, as time went on, you picked up on more and more things. Like how you always leaned into him, or found yourself by his side at most times of the day. Or like how he threw his arm around you when everyone sat around the campfire, or how you’d fall asleep beside him only to wake up in your bed the next morning. 
Or like how he’d always called you ‘Sweetheart’. Like he just did, when he asked you to hand him the socket wrench. 
“You know, you gotta stop calling me that. People are gonna think we’re together.”
Tyler took the wrench from you with a small chuckle. “But I always call you that.”
“That’s my point. What if someone wants to chat you up but they think you’re with me?”
“But I am with you.” Tyler told you. 
You scoffed and kicked the sole of his boot lightly. “I’m being serious. What if you miss out on meeting your wife? The mother of your children because she thinks you’re with me?”
From under his truck, Tyler rolled out. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine. Why?”
Everything wasn’t fine, but the less he knew about it the better. 
“You’ve never had a problem with me calling you Sweetheart before.”
You shrugged, trying your best to remain casual about it. “I was just thinking about it, s’all.”
Tyler hummed in confusion before disappearing back beneath his truck. “Okay, I’ll try not to call you Sweetheart in public anymore.”
Though he couldn’t see, you gave a small nod to thank him. You didn’t want to let him know that it was killing you asking that of him. You loved when he called you different nicknames, because that was him. If nothing else was right in the world, you knew he was. 
But the more and more you became aware of who you were when you were with him, the more you started to think about how it would start to affect him, even if he didn’t realise it. 
Except, for as much as he tried, he still slipped up every now and again. 
But the second time you told him to stop calling you that, he’d fully done it with intent. 
Another week, another motel. Only, this time there weren’t enough rooms to go around, with the rodeo in town. So, whilst you stood and listened to everyone fight over who had to share, you searched for some sticks before shoving them into the middle of the group circle. 
“Lily, here. Whoever pulls the short straw shares. I need the bathroom.”
So, you disappeared. 
However, when you came back, you found most of your family disappearing into their own rooms whilst Tyler was still standing inside of the motel office. 
“I think he’s gonna need your help.” Lily told you as she grabbed her bag from her car. 
A little confused, you followed her advice and headed for the office. Only when you opened the door…
“Ty, Lily said-”
“Sweetheart! There you are. Thought you’d gotten lost.” You were about to correct him and tell him to stop calling you when suddenly, you found yourself being dragged to his side. “Molly, this is my girlfriend.”
“She’s not your wife?”
Tyler seemed to panic for a moment. 
What the hell was going on?
“Is everything-”
Tyler looked at you, but something in his eyes begged you not to ask. 
“Well, no. Not exactly.”
“Well,” the owner drawled. “How long have you two been together?”
“Just a little over ten years.”
She almost exploded. “Ten years?! And you still haven’t put a ring on it yet? Oh, honey, what are you two doing?”
Tyler chuckled a little all the while your body became fully aware of his arm around your waist and his hand at your hip. “See, that’s the thing. We wanted to get married but-”
“Your parents don’t approve?”
You practically gave yourself whiplash for how quickly you turned to look at her, an offended look on your face. Okay, maybe you didn’t look your best but you’d all been on the road for six hours and you hadn’t slept the night before. And it wasn’t your fault Tyler looked good at any time of the day. 
Tyler, a little shocked himself, shook his head. 
“Her parents don’t approve?”
“Well,” Tyler seemed to be making it up as he went along. “Her parents don’t believe in marriage.”
You came back to earth. Lying, right. 
You nodded your head. “I’d love to get married but I kinda want my folks to be there. But, we’re getting around them, aren’t we, honey?”
You tried your best to ignore how easily the pet name rolled off your tongue for Tyler. 
Tyler smiled and you could have sworn he blushed. “That’s right.”
The owner looked between you both. “Well, I suppose…that’s okay. Here’s your key. I hope you two have a nice stay.”
“We will, thank you.”
Taking the key, Tyler took hold of your hand before opening the door for you and leading you outside. Once more, your hand was in his all the way towards the car, only having him let go when he climbed into the bed of his truck to grab his luggage and your own. 
“Do you…” You looked to see if the owner was still watching. She wasn’t. “Do you wanna tell me what just happened?”
“She thinks we’re together.”
“That’s my point.” You told him. “Why?”
He hopped down from his truck. “Boone took the short straw and since you were in the bathroom, the others called their own rooms. But, since he’s eaten nothing but spicy tacos for the last three days, I offered to share with you.”
“What a gentleman.”
Tyler smiled. “You’re welcome.”
“That still doesn’t explain why she thinks we’re together.”
“Hey,” Tyler held his hands up. “I was gonna correct her but then she started talking about how nobody who wasn’t wed shouldn’t share a room. So, when you walked in, I just rolled with it. The next motel is an hour away, but the rodeo in town is probably booked up.”
And everyone was tired. Dragging everyone back on the road would just feel illegal. 
So, taking your bag from him, you followed him up to your shared room. With just one bed. 
Considering the owner didn’t like unmarried couples sharing a room, it shouldn’t have been as much of a shock as it was. 
“Want me to take the floor? You already offered to share, seems fair.”
Tyler shook his head. “That bed could fit me, you, and probably a herd of cattle.”
You rolled your eyes before walking inside and dumping your bag on the small bench by the window. 
“We can share.”
Remember; normal. 
You and Tyler had shared a bed a hundred times before. This was no different. Other than your self-aware feelings for him and the fact that you’d been trying to complete less of them ever since. 
“Okay.”
And like normal, you both took your registered sides. Tyler by the door, you by the window. 
Barely an hour later, both yourself and Tyler were lying in bed staring at the ceiling. 
“How many people do you think have lied about being married just to get a room here?”
You shrugged. “Considering there are like, a thousand romance books out there with the main couples doing that exact thing…I guess…a lot.”
Tyler turned to you with a shocked smile on his face. 
“What?”
“You read romance books?”
You furrowed your brows a little. If you had been talking to anyone else, or talking to Tyler before you found yourself harbouring such a big secret from not only him but also yourself, you would have owned it. 
But this was a man you had secretly been in love with for god only knows how long. 
“I read other stuff, too.” You managed to stutter out. 
“I’ve never once seen you read a book that isn’t a textbook.”
“And? Plenty of people read romance. That’s why it’s a genre.”
“So, what else happens in these romances of yours?”
“They’re not my romances.” You clarified. But nothing could wipe that shit-eating grin from his face. 
“Are they all as cheesy as they used to be?”
You found yourself stumped at that question. “Used to be? Wait, you’ve read a romance book?”
Tyler nodded. “Just after I got stomped on by my second bull, I was waiting with the medic. I got bored and she gave me a book to read.”
“And how was it?”
“Cheesy,” Tyler said. “But the cover did have a half naked man on the cover. The doc tried to pass it off as her friends, but since she went bright red in the face, I knew it was her. So, what are yours?”
Then he started listing off different characters, revelling in the embarrassment it was causing you to admit it to him. 
“A hot firefighter who saves kittens from trees? A…18th century Duke from London, England who just so happens to ‘hate’ his sister’s best friend? That was what the Doc’s book was. Oh my god, is it a Prince in disguise who falls in love with the local baker and they win a pie contest together?”
“You’re an asshole.” You told him before turning over. 
“Oh, come on.” Tyler laughed. “Just tell me. If you don’t, I can always ask Boone to go through your goodreads. Maybe I want to buy you one for your birthday, but I don’t know which one you’ve already-”
“It’s cowboys.” You felt like you were shouting. 
“What?” You could already hear the grin on his face, which made you only try and repress yours. But he heard it anyway. 
“It’s cowboys. Bull riders, ranch owners, cowboys. Those are the romances I, mainly, read.”
You managed to build up enough courage to turn onto your back, only to look over and see Tyler’s smile still on his face. 
“Go on, go ahead. Laugh at it.”
“Are any of them Tornado Wranglers?” 
With a laugh behind your voice, you threw a pillow at his head. “Shut up and go to sleep.”
From behind you, you heard him laugh as he fixed his pillow. “Whatever you say, Sweetheart.”
You turned the lamp off. “Go to sleep.”
He was still smiling as he turned his own off. “Night, Sweetheart.”
By the time you woke up in the morning, you were scrambling to find out where you were. 
In your head, you’d been in bed with Tyler. You’d all been sitting around the campfire, listening to Tyler finally agree to tell an actual spooky story. Of course, after scaring the crap out of you, Dexter told a nicer one which…you fell asleep to. Only, you’d woken to Tyler being in your bed. He’d carried you to bed. Again. But, just as you were laying in his arm, you felt the ground beneath you begin to shake before a cold draft came up the back of your neck. 
By the time you turned to look at the window, you saw…
Flying cows. 
Tuning back around, everything went from colourful to dim. Almost black and white. You could just about make Tyler out beneath the covers but each time you took a step, you found yourself unable to move. 
But when you finally did move, a pair of arms reached for you and held you back to the window. 
You woke up with a start, trying to figure out where you were. 
You were in bed. 
With a pair of arms around you. 
You sat up. 
You were in bed. 
In a motel. 
With Tyler. 
You were in bed with Tyler. 
For the second time in less than twenty four hours, you nearly gave yourself whiplash. The window was open a little. Tyler must have woken up in the night and opened it. But there were no flying cows. You made a mental note to not watch The Wizard of Oz, and have it be the last thing you watch, before bed.
Looking down at a sleeping Tyler, you noticed where his arms were around you. Around your back, and since you’d moved to sit up quickly, across your thighs with his hand closer to your hip. 
Trying your best, you tried to ignore how attractive he looked even when he was asleep. You’d seen the same image many a hundred times in the last ten years, and yet it never got old. Of course, at the time you weren’t trying to bury feelings. 
Slowly, you tried to peel yourself from him only to have him tighten his hold on you and pull you back towards him a little. 
“S’everything okay, Sweetheart?”
Sweetheart. Morning voice. Looking like that.
“Every…” You swallowed and forced yourself to look away before he caught the heat on your cheeks. “Everything…everything’s fine.”
Having most of his face buried into his pillow, he opened up one eye and looked at you. “You’re looking a little flushed there, Sweetheart.”
The nickname rolled so easily off his tongue, you knew he didn’t notice how casually he used it with you. 
If you weren’t awake before, you were when he spoke. 
Almost throwing yourself from him, you scooted out of bed and stood up. “I’m fine. Promise. I’m gonna get some coffee.” It almost sounded like a question as you looked around for your jeans. 
From behind you, you heard him shuffle around the bedsheets. When you looked back, you almost melted at the sight. Lay there in bed, watching you with that smile on his face that you could never quite pin a meaning to. One arm behind his head, the other out of the covers and by his side, white tee on, his pj pants that you’d gotten him almost seven christmases ago just visible from the flipped corner of the bed. 
“Yeah. Coffee. You want one?”
“You sure you’re okay? You never usually have this much energy in the morning.” Tyler said. “Sure you don’t wanna wait. Don’t think the diner’s even open.”
“That’s okay.” You grabbed a random shirt from the chair by the small dining table. 
Again, that smile was on Tyler’s face. 
“I’ll be back soon.”
From their own rooms, the others watched as you left your shared room with Tyler, dressed in his shirt, looking like you’d just rolled out of bed. 
Lily: Do you think something finally happened?
Dex: If something did, I don’t think she’d look so freaked. 
Dani: Or be leaving their bed so early in the morning…
By the time Tyler had actually gotten out of bed, showered and had changed, you still weren’t back from your freaked coffee run. 
“Hey, Boone!”
“Yeah, dude?”
“You seen Y/n?”
Boone shook his head. “No. Why?”
Tyler looked…sad. And confused. “Nothing. No reason.”
But rather than wait around, he went and looked for you. And it wasn’t long before he found you. Sat inside a mostly empty cafe-diner, you were waiting on another two coffee’s to go. 
“Hey.”
Tyler could have sworn you’d jumped out of your skin. 
“Oh, hey.”
“Was starting to get worried. Need some help.”
You looked at the two coffee holders. “Uh, sure.”
Tyler watched you. You couldn’t look him in the eye. And you still looked flushed. He was starting to get worried. For years, you’d both been attached at the hip. But in the last six months, you’d asked him to stop calling you ‘Sweetheart’, had stopped leaning into him or even standing by his side when in a group. You’d stopped fighting Boone for riding shotgun with him. You’d stopped falling asleep on his shoulder or even sitting beside him at night. And he was pretty sure if the owner of the motel didn’t make a point of the married couple sharing a room, you would have taken the flatbed of his truck over sharing a room with him. 
“Are we okay?”
That got you to look him in the eye. “What?”
“I just mean…Are you sure you’re okay? In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never even been awake before a diner has opened unless you’ve had to be.”
You nodded and looked back at the drinks. “I just needed coffee, that’s all.”
“But if something was going on, you would tell me, right?”
You forced yourself to look at him, hoping he wouldn’t see through your lie. “Of course.”
Tyler nodded, but something in his gut told him you weren't telling him the full truth. 
Either way, he kept his eye on you for the rest of the day. And the days that followed. 
You’d always go to bed earlier than everyone else, or much later. He’d fall asleep watching you read over data and old textbooks but would wake up and catch a glimpse of you curled up either on the bench by the window or on the bed beside him reading a book he could only guess was a ‘Cowboy Romance’ considering a cowboy hat was just one of the small details designed into the cover. 
He’d smile and close his eyes again, listening to you turn the pages every now and again, gasp quietly or let out a soft laugh every now and again. 
Only, when the morning came round, if he woke up before you, he’d close his eyes, still holding you close because he knew the moment you woke up, you’d stay still for a moment but if he moved, you’d shoot right out of bed. 
It was getting harder and harder each day to pretend you didn’t worry him. And it was getting even harder to ignore the feeling in his chest he got each time he looked at you, or heard your voice or even thought about you. 
But all of that finally came to a head a few days after rolling into town when a tornado hit. 
All the data had shown no tornado was meant to come into town and what with the rodeo on, everyone headed down to it. Walking down there, Tyler could remember when he first brought you to one of the circuits he used to run on. He’d loved to have you there. To have you know of his life before he met you, because in a way, it put you there. Like, even if you hadn’t met til college, you had a place in all aspects of his life. 
And for the first time in months, you met his eye and smiled. Like you used to. Watching the bull riders, and the cowboys and him asking you if you remembered when you and him first attended a rodeo together. 
But just as he looked back at you, your gaze matched his for a second too long and…you looked away. Flushed, embarrassed, then…annoyed. 
Not at him. He knew that look off by heart. 
You were annoyed at yourself. 
But why?
Forcing himself to look back at the rodeo, he tried his best to not think too deeply into why you were annoyed with yourself. But it still worried him. 
But then something else worried him. 
Everyone’s alert on their phones. 
“We weren’t picking up cells this way.” 
One look shared between both yourself and Tyler let the other know what to do. People had to get to shelter there and then. And for the next fifteen minutes, everyone started running, staring up their engines to drive away or running to find shelter. 
You and the rest of the team helped who you could before finding shelter for yourselves. 
“Down here!”
Tyler pulled you closer and followed you down the steps inside the cramped underground shelter before you helped him shut the doors. Bolting it shut before the Tornado could whip them open again, you and him (like everyone else) huddled to the floor. 
With his arm across your back, you turned into him, gripping onto his shirt for dear life. And despite the rattling of the doors, people’s nervous screams and the battered weather outside, you eventually only heard one thing. 
“It’s okay. We’re okay.” 
Tyler’s voice in your ear provided soothing words that eventually started to slow your heartbeat. He pressed a kiss into your hair, his other hand coming around your front, before holding onto your hand that was gripping onto his shirt. 
“We’re okay. I promise. Just breathe, Sweetheart. Breathe with me.”
And you did. 
You didn’t know when the tornado had passed or when everyone felt like they could breathe again. But you did know you’d just fallen so deeply in love with Tyler at the thought of losing him, even if he’d been wrapped around you the entire time, that you were almost paralysed in those moments. 
Slowly, you looked back up and directly at him. Any closer and you both might have kissed. Tyler’s eyes were searching your face just as yours were searching his. He was okay. He wasn’t hurt. No scars. No bruises. 
Instinctively, he let his hand from round your back come to your face, pushing the hair from it all the while letting his finger trace your cheekbone and your cheek. 
If he didn’t fear losing you forever, he would have kissed you. 
“I love you,” he said in his head. 
“Tyler…”
He just nodded. “We’re okay.”
Leaning forward, you hugged him and he hugged you back. 
It was slow getting back to the motel. It wasn’t until early hours. You took turns getting cleaned up and for the first time in a long time, you didn’t scoot to the end of the bed only to make your way over to him in your sleep. 
As he climbed into bed, you turned towards him. 
“Come here.”
That night, you fell asleep in his embrace, listening to his heartbeat inside of his chest. Feeling his lips press a kiss to your temple twice before he locked you inside his hold, warming your entire body. 
And when a lighter morning rolled in, Tyler woke to his name being quietly called. 
You were having a nightmare. 
Holding you closer to his chest, he stroked the back of your head with one of his hands before his other hand took hold of yours. He pressed a kiss into your palm before pressing a similar one to your temple. 
“Shhh, it’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here, Sweetheart. I’m right here.”
You calmed after that. But you woke up not long after. However, before you could scoot away from him and launch yourself out of bed before your body was ready for it, he told you something.
“You were calling out for me. You were having a nightmare.”
Going off your previous track record, you were about to lie. Tell him you weren’t or that you weren’t even having a nightmare. That you’d been arguing with him or you’d been talking to him and the other Wranglers. 
But you didn’t. 
You told him the truth. 
“You were hurt.”
Tyler was a little taken aback. 
“You were hurt and I needed you to be okay.”
Tyler didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if your nightmare had been frequent or if it was just a fluke after everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours. 
So all he could do was say…
“Sweetheart.” 
His voice soft, his touch even softer against your skin and yet secure in all the same aspects, he pulled you closer to him as he pressed a kiss to your head. 
“I’m okay. I promise I’m okay. I’m right here.”
He kissed your hand. “I’m right here.”
All you could do was just…look at him. 
The man you’d been best friends with for as long as you could remember, the man who’d shown and invited you into parts of his life, the man who had invited you to be apart for the rest of it, the man who you’d spent almost every single day with ever since, the man who you’d been and only fallen deeper in love with each day…was right by your side. 
He was right in front of you. 
He wasn’t a dream. 
He wasn’t a nightmare. 
There were no flying cows, there were no more tornadoes (for now at least), there were no elements of anything being fake. 
And the longer you looked at him, the more you realised…
You would always be in love with him. 
And there was nothing you could do about it. 
It wouldn't matter how much you avoided him, or pushed yourself or even pushed him to find someone. You would always love him. 
With his thumb caressing your cheek, Tyler watched you. 
“God, you’re beautiful.” 
He hadn’t meant to say it outloud. But he was glad he did. 
Your other hand came to his chest…but you didn’t push him away. And you didn’t push yourself away, either. 
“Tyler…”
All of a sudden, it was like the only thing either of you could hear was your heartbeats. Blood pumping faster and faster and you got closer and closer, if that was even possible. 
Finally, Tyler made a decision. 
Cupping your face, he moved until you were almost under him, placing the hand he kissed over his heart. 
Suddenly, he was nervous. 
He swallowed, gazing at you. 
“C…Can I…” He swallowed again. 
Except, just as he went to ask, and you would have replied, a booming knock came to the door making both of you jump out of your skin. 
Neither you or Tyler moved, but when it came a second time, you looked at each other quickly before bolting out of bed. You didn’t know what to do. Your mind was still trying to process the last ten minutes.
Whilst you stood on your side of the bed, Tyler took a final look back at you. And when he opened the door, Boone thought Tyler looked like he was guilty of sin. 
Boone had known Tyler long enough to know that look. Anybody who didn’t know him, well, they wouldn’t have noticed. But he did. 
“Boone, man. We were asleep.”
“Shoot. Sorry, dude.” Boone apologised. “Well, we were all gonna get some food before we hit the road to help. Want something?”
“Where’s your phone?”
“Dude! We tried. Tried Y/n, too. I’ve got a charger if you need one.”
Tyler sighed. Right. Dead phone. 
“No, that’s good. We’ll just…get us the usual?”
“And coffee!” You heard yourself add. 
Tyler smiled at the sound of your voice. “And coffee. Wait, here.”
Handing Boone a twenty dollar bill, he thanked him before shutting the door. 
“He’s gonna give someone a heart attack one day.” You said as Tyler finally shut the door. 
Tyler scratched the back of his head with a nervous chuckle. “Almost gave me one.”
Then the silence hit. 
“Well, I, uh…we better….bathroom. I’m just gonna…yep.”
In his heart, Tyler was elated at the thought of what almost happened. But in his gut, it was like a punch to his soul. 
You couldn’t even meet his eye when you spoke and ran towards the bathroom. And when you left and he entered, it had never been more awkward between you both. 
He could only hope he hadn’t lost you. 
He loved you. 
He was in love with you. 
But he didn’t want that to be the reason he lost you. 
For the rest of the day, he only felt worse. 
And so did you. 
You’d almost kissed him. Then Boone had knocked on. And suddenly him being the only other person in the room made you feel like the walls were closing in. No matter how much you wanted to go back to the bed and finish what had almost started…something inside you forced you away from it. 
Being on the verge of telling your best friend who you’d been in love with for years was suddenly a much higher cliff than you’d originally thought. 
Due to the wreckage of the tornado, you and the rest of the crew spent the day helping people, giving them food and water, making sure they were okay. 
However, just a little after two, you looked around for him. And, like usual, you found him instantly. 
By his truck, he was loading a toolbox back into the flatbed. And he turned. He’d seen you. 
He’d been looking over at you all day. And for the first time, you met his gaze. 
He would spend the rest of his life loving you. There wasn’t a single doubt in his mind or in his heart about that. And there never would be. 
He could only hope that what had almost happened that morning wouldn’t make you hate him. 
After a moment, you heard your name being called and you forced yourself to look away from Tyler. 
“I love you,” you told him, in your head. 
“I love you,” he told you, in his head. 
Hours passed and every five minutes, Tyler’s gaze would find yours again before being forced away. 
When he wasn’t looking at you, he was thinking about you. Thinking about the tornado, thinking about the rodeo, thinking about the motel room. And watching you from across the wreckage, he made a decision. 
He could only hope it was the right one. 
And getting back to the motel couldn’t come quick enough. 
By the time everyone did get back, it was long after the sun had gone down. And entering your motel room, Tyler tried to get you to talk to him. 
“We need some ice. I’ll go and get some.” 
“Y/n.”
“I’ll be back in five minutes. Promise.”
Only, you weren’t. And when Tyler heard a crash, he practically ran out of his room and down the stairs. 
“Y/n?”
Looking around, he saw you stood at the end of the building scooping ice into the bucket. 
“You okay?”
You looked up. “Yeah, why?”
Tyler looked around. “I thought I heard something.”
You were confused. “I didn’t hear anything.”
But as the ice stopped, you both heard it. Trash cans. 
“This way.”
“Tyler-”
Grabbing your hand, he pulled you round the corner. Neither of you were cast in the light from the motel but rather hid in the darkness beside it. You looked behind you and around the wall whilst Tyler stood in front of you. 
“What was that?”
“I don’t know.”
It happened again and then…
Laughing. 
You physically relaxed and turned back to Tyler with a relieved smile. 
“It’s just people coming back from the bar. We’re safe.”
Only then did you realise how closely you stood together, or how you could feel his weight slowly pressing against you. Or maybe you were pulling him forward. 
Softly, you pressed yourself into the wall as Tyler started towering over you, his hands slowly grazing over your hips as he looked at you. 
It was like what had happened that morning only…more. 
Slowly, your breath tangled with his, your heartbeat steadily rising as one of his hands ran up your body and pushed your hair from your face. 
“Tyler…”
“We should get back inside. Before you get cold.”
You were anything but that, in the moment. 
And when you both got back inside your room, having Tyler carefully take the ice bucket from you and place it on the table, only made you feel hotter. 
“We need to talk about this morning.”
“Tyler…”
“Sweetheart, I mean it.”
“Didn’t I tell you to stop calling me that? There’s nothing to talk about.”
“We almost kissed.”
You closed the bathroom door in his face before reaching for your toothbrush and paste. Only, you forgot to lock it. 
Opening it back up, Tyler stood by the door, one hand on his hip, the other on the handle. 
“Y/n, will you please listen to me?”
“Tyler, please. Please, just…just stop. Before either of us say something we can’t take back.”
He stood tall. “What if I don’t wanna take it back? What if I want to say it out loud so we can both finally be finished with this…this…this weird awkward…thing between us. In ten years never once has it been awkward.”
You sighed, dropping your toothbrush under the tap before rinsing out your mouth. “Well, whatever it is, you can say it to an empty room.”
Pushing past him, you grabbed your jacket and headed for the door. You weren’t going to stick around to hear him tell you your friendship with him was over. That your worst fear was about to become your reality. 
Only, as you reached for the handle and opened up the door, the next three words that came from Tyler’s mouth, as he stood, still in the opening of the bathroom, stopped you right in your tracks. 
“I love you.”
He’d told you he loved you a thousand times over the years, but it had always been quickly and in the same way and same tone as he told anybody else who he loved. But those three words. They were different. 
They meant something entirely different. 
You could hear him slowly taking a few steps forward. 
“I love you, Y/n. I’m in love with you.”
You physically couldn’t move. Everything inside of you wanted to do…something. Kiss him, tell him the same, tell him he was mistaken, that he didn’t love you, tell him to stop, tell him to keep going.
“And I think…” He took a breath. Not of fear, not of worry, but of relief. Like finally saying these words out loud was a weight off his chest. “I think you’re in love with me, too.”
You didn’t know what to say, so you just waited. 
“Now, you can run out of here. You can leave, if you want. But know that I want you to stay. I want to talk about this. All day, the only thing I’ve been able to think about is you. About the rodeo, about the other morning. About all the other times I’ve wanted to kiss you and to have you be the one I share a room with. Not because we’ve drawn straws but because you would want it, too. Again, if you want to leave, you can. The door’s open. But I’m hoping you’ll stay.”
Tyler couldn’t comprehend what was going on inside your head as he watched you. He could have swore he saw your body move a little. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe you were going to leave after all. Maybe all of it was just in his head. 
But then you let go of the handle. 
The door shut in front of you and suddenly the white noise from outside floated away. You’d made your choice. But you were still scared. 
“I…I don’t know what to do from here.”
“That’s okay.” Tyler moved closer to you until he was directly behind you. Carefully, he took your jacket from you and you let go of it willingly, allowing him to place it on the bed behind him. “We can figure it out together.”
Still behind you, Tyler’s hands lay gently by your sides. “Is this okay?”
“Yes.”
He took another step closer. You could already feel the heat from his body behind you, warming you from the cold draft that had wafted through when you’d opened the door. 
“I’ve loved you since before I can remember. But I know the day I met you, you were gonna be in my life forever.”
Feeling brave, you turned in his arms to look at him. For a moment, he looked scared. Like it would be the last time you’d ever look at him and he’d never see you again. Scared that you’d leave. 
But as your gaze landed on his, that smile came back. 
“What?” 
Still with that smile, he told you. “You look like you love me.”
“How can you tell?”
“Because you get this look in your eyes. Like something I’ve never seen before. And it’s new every time. Do you love me?”
You didn’t have to think about your answer, but the courage you had to build to tell him took a moment. “Yes. I-I don’t know when. But I think one day it just…clicked. But I was scared. I still am…scared. Tyler, what if…what if something goes wrong? What if we lose each other forever?”
“That’ll never happen.”
“How? How can you know that?”
“I just…do. It’s like a tornado. Part science; all the chemicals that go into loving someone. Part religion. I don’t have to physically see how something happens, but I like to believe it’s there. Maybe I don’t have all the answers, but I knew I had to listen to what my gut told me.”
“And what did your gut tell you?”
Tyler gave you that smile again. “It told me that; ‘that girl, right there, under that tree. You need to talk to her, because she is going to be the best part of your day for the rest of your life.’”
You felt the heat in your cheeks rise. 
“You have always been, and always will be, the best part of my day, Sweetheart. No matter how many tornados, no matter how many sleepless nights on the road or how much data we collect. The best part of my day is talking to you. Is looking over at you and having you look back. The best part of my day has forever been, and always will be, you.”
“So, trust me when I say that,” he continued. “Nothing bad will ever happen to us. Because I don’t plan on letting you go just because of fear. I’m in love with you, Sweetheart. And I want to be in your life, for the rest of your life.”
You smiled, “Say that again. The ‘I’m in love with you,’ part.”
Tyler was a little confused, but he would say it as many times as you wanted. 
“I’m in love with you, Sweetheart.”
Watching you blush and try and hide your smile made him realise why you’d asked him to say it again. 
“I knew you liked it when I called you that.”
You looked back up at him. “You know, you’re lucky I love you.”
Tyler smiled. “That’s the first time you’re saying that outloud.”
“Does that mean you’re gonna kiss me now? Or are you just gonna keep talking, Cowboy?”
“No, ma’am.”
Pulling you in closer, Tyler finally kissed you. 
And it was…
Everything. 
Every moment he’d dreamed of finally kissing you, every moment you’d wished he’d do so, every moment you’d both shared, harbouring those feelings, wishing for something more and being too scared to reach for it…
It was a lot to put into a first kiss. 
But it came out naturally. 
Having waited years, you both had some catching up to do. 
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dreamlandcreations · 1 month ago
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OPLA men - I licked it so it's mine
Shanks / Mihawk / Zoro / Sanji x Reader
this is @justnerdystuffs' fault idea with a little twist here and there and it has been sitting in my drafts for ages 🫣
Warnings: implied mutual pining, idiots (all of them), fluff, kissing, implied relationship afterwards and other stuff , height difference, not proofread (I just wanted to finish something finally 😭🤧)
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It's been weeks since you have had a decent meal.
After such a long time, you finally landed on an island with a nice-looking bar where the rest of the crew could celebrate whatever excuse they could come up with for drinking and partying. You couldn't care less at the moment.
You had half the menu ordered, knowing full well some of the guys would join in on the feast whether you invited them or not. And that was fine, really, until they tried to take a bite of your steak. Roux was indeed lucky not to lose a hand.
However, your dearest captain had no such self-preservation instincts. You were on very good terms with the man, Shanks was easy to get along with, but he could be such a child sometimes.
He was sitting right next to you and he moved in the moment you turned your head in the other direction to look at some stunt Yasopp was trying to pull. You turned back just in time at the sound of the fork being stabbed into meat.
You moved fast, but not fast enough. The red-haired manchild took the last piece of your steak and quickly licked it from bottom to top, grinning at you with sauce staining his cheek right from under his scars all the way to his chin.
"Sorry, sweetheart. I licked it so it's mine."
From the other side of the table Ben was watching the scene in morbid fascination, ready to save his captain from certain death once again and he didn't like the sinister grin slowly pulling at your lips.
"Hmm," you leaned closer as Shanks put down the food on his plate, reaching for a napkin to wipe his face before you grabbed his hand, yanked him closer, gripping his chin in your other hand, you slowly licked the sauce off the side of his face before you pulled away and smirked at him as you claimed, "I guess that means you are mine now."
The room turned silent, all eyes on you two, as Shanks regarded you with a strange expression, and Ben stood still right where he jumped up when you launched for the captain, while you just stared at the man before you with slowly widening eyes as you just realised what you have done.
Before you could pull further away, Shanks quickly lifted you from your chair, making it tumble back as he pulled you into his lap with his smile quickly returning but with a new warmth to it, and you already knew you were in trouble before you heard what he had to say.
"Yours, huh?" he asked, cupping your cheek gently as he leaned in impossibly close, playfully nudging your nose with his and whispered, "I think I like the sound of that."
Steak forgotten, the crew's cheering ignored, you kissed the grinning idiot and you could't help but smile into the kiss too.
Ben in the background collapsed back into his chair, grabbed a large bottle of rum, and took a big gulp, already dreading what these two will put him through together.
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You didn't know how Shanks convinced the swordsman to stay for the celebration but you were having fun watching your captain get on his nerves and when you saw the opportunity to join in that fun, you just had to do it.
There was no shortage of alcohol but Dracule Mihawk has a certain taste and you knew he would go for the good stuff, so you acted as soon as he got up from his seat from next to Shanks.
You took your time to pour out the remaining wine from the last, almost empty bottle and waited until the warlord got close enough that you could tease him without too many witnesses.
He towered over you somewhat menacingly, slightly raising his eyebrows expectantly as his gaze travelled down to the glass in your hand and back to your face in a meaningful motion. You were not intimidated in the slightest though.
On the contrary, you faked innocence as you mimicked his gesture before locking your gaze with his and letting your lips pull up into a little smirk then you lifted the glass and slowly dragged your tongue around the edge of it.
"I licked it so it's mine." you stated cheerfully and shrugged at his almost unperceivable widened eyes that betrayed his surprise or anger. Definitely disbelief, you decided.
Following a tense silence, a rare smile graced his lips, and you stopped breathing for a moment as he leaned in closer. 
"Is that right?" he murmured. His usually bored tone a mix between amusement, mocking and challenge.
Mihawk didn’t wait for your response but took a hold of your chin and smashed his lips against yours just as you gasped, and he took the opportunity to immediately deepen the kiss and lick into your mouth, letting you taste the wine he has been drinking throughout the night and you had no opportunity to sample because you dropped the glass as soon as his lips touched yours.
He didn't seem bothered by the pricey drink going to waste or you knocking down his hat as you desperately reached out and hang onto him by his nape while you tried to keep up with his maddening, passionate, slow, seductive kiss that made you feel like the room was spinning around you.
He pulled away just as abruptly as he started the kiss but he didn't let you go while he regarded you with a smug expression.
"I believe that makes you mine." When you failed to reply, he faked thinking about it for a second, then his smirk returned and he added, “Hmm. Perhaps I’ll have to be more thorough with my claiming.” before capturing your lips again and lifting you up into his arms to take you away somewhere private to make good on his promise.
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Luffy claimed most of the food as you sat down, and he did it in the most disgusting but interesting way possible. He stretched his tongue out and licked over all the plates at his half of the table, grinning as he yelled excitedly, "I licked it! So it's mine!"
A moment of horror passed then everyone dug into (the safe part of) the feast. Everyone, except the green haired menace next to you.
Zoro collected both bottles of wine to himself opening them and storing them on his other side, even though he knew that was the only drink you'd find acceptable and it was pretty much all the same to him as long as it had alcohol in it.
He didn't react to you theatrically clearing your throat as you turned to him so you kicked his leg with a force that made him jump up a little.
He looked at you with surprise that quickly turned into annoyance then a wordless challenge. When the silent staredown didn't end with his win he sighed and reached for both bottles, and he extended one of them towards you but pulled back before you could grab it and went to lick over that bottle opening and then the other. Smiling at you in triumph as he said,
"Heard the captain. Rules are rules!"
Huffing at the audacity, you waited until he raised a bottle to his lips and hit the bottom, tipping it so he would spill the wine on himself.
He stood abruptly, making the chair almost fall over as you laughed.
The others' only reaction was a look in your way, they were used to your antics by now, they expected a fight as soon as you sat down beside the ex pirate hunter.
What no one, including you saw coming was your next move. Your eyes followed the droplets of wine dripping down Zoro's neck as he tried to dry his shirt with a napkin. It was all in vain, the fabric was soaked through.
You blinked a few times, trying to gather some sense into you, and obviously failing as you batted away his hands, produced a knife and slit his shirt open in a flash. Then, as you stood up you licked over his toned abdomen and chest, all the way up to his jaw before biting him teasingly there.
He blinked rapidly, taking in a staggering breath as he looked down at you, fixing his gaze on your now wine red lips. You licked them to savour the taste then you took the other bottle, sauntered over to the door and paused, looking back at Zoro with a challenging eyebrow raise before you left.
"Huh," was all he said before he followed you to your room.
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You narrowed your eyes at Sanji, eyeing him with growing annoyance as he ate the rare bite-sized food that was gifted to you as the last creation of the chef who the cook obsessed over for the entire week. He moaned and swooned over the taste as you clenched your teeth together, trying to come up with an appropriate revenge.
Sanji looked at you with innocent eyes, smiling sweetly as he ased, "What?"
You looked down at the empty plate pointedly and then back at the thief just in time to see him shrug. "You know the rule, I licked it so it's mine."
Your body moved before you could think it through, grasping his chin with one hand, brushing away his hair from his face and grabbing him by the back of his head with your other hand as you quickly licked the side of his face and pushed him back a little as you stepped back. There, the gesture says.
Waiting for his disgusted reaction, you started to grin, satisfied with your little revenge for now, at least for a moment or so because he didn't react how you thought at all.
He seemed to be frozen in place except for his slowly widening eyes, then he gasped, giggled, and turned to you with a grin, exclaiming loudly that, "I'm yours now, no takebacks!"
You huffed at the ridiculous train of thought and turned to leave but he hugged you from behind, nuzzling into your neck, arms circling around your waist and you couldn't help but smile as you sighed dramatically but placed your hands on his, letting him pull you into an even tighter embrace that you would be trapped in for a while.
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kissitbttr · 1 year ago
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a very tiny fic of frat!miguel pining on cheerleader!y/n in college. might expand, we’ll see ;)
-
fucking. frat parties, man,
you hate it. despise it even. what’s so good about them anyway other than the fact watching dumb boys in snapbacks making a fool of themselves with drinking games?
definitely not your scene, but unluckily for you—it has always been your friends favorite thing to look forward to,
“you need to cut yourself some slack babe. this party will do you good! i promise!”
rolling your eyes, you slip on one of your favorite heels before glaring at her. “doubt it but thanks for the positivity”
“maybe todd will be there and you guys will catch up?”
“like hell we will” you scoff, walking towards the dressing table to pamper yourself,
“that shit is history, he’s a fucking dead man”
a certified douche bag, that’s what todd is. dated him in sophomore year and the relationship went for about six months before calling it quits because he had his tongue down some other girl’s throat and he had the nerve to blame it on you,
you were pretty much done with men at that point,
“she’s right” one of your friends, gloria points out. “you guys forgot what that asshole did to her, hm?”
“but” one girl steps in. “people change, right?”
you and gloria exchange looks, biting back a mocking smile at how innocent and naive the girl sounds. however, you shake your head at gloria, telling her to hold it in.
“yeah, sure” you shrug at her question, busying yourself with makeups as the other girls from behind you continue with their chatting,
“what about miguel? that tall sexy one”
your hand freezes at the name, as a collective of ooh’s and dreamy sighs fall upon your ears. yet you dismiss it anyway,
“and what about him?”
lyla, the pixie haired cut girl chimes in. “wasn’t he the one who blew you a kiss during the football game? you know, when you were cheering”
it was the championship game, one after finals had ended. you and your cheerleading team were on the sidelines doing the stunts. one of the duties of being one was to cheer for your home team. being extra perky and all smiley,
he scored another touchdown within the last ten seconds, in which the crowd had erupted into loud cheers. this man sure got some speed on his feet,
you clapped your poms poms together, jumping in excitement while yelling out his jersey number. the rest of the girls are doing the same thing, some even louder than others. leading the crowd to loudly chant his last name,
miguel took his helmet off, smiling proudly at the full audience while bumping his chest with his fist. then his eyes landed on you, smile going wider as he watched you cheer for his team,
then he did it. blew you a kiss as he waved. mouthing a ‘that one’s for you’ before winking, in which you only rolled your eyes at the respond. you truly had no time entertaining another heartbreaker on campus.
that man maybe devilishly handsome and charming, but he also shared some highly disturbing amounts of girls in his dorm,
or so you have heard.
his friend jogged towards him, clasping his hand around miguel’s shoulder,
“new girlfriend, o’hara? or looking for a quick fuck?”
if it was any other circumstances, he’d punch him for saying that about you. but he was far too entranced by your beauty to actually give a shit. instead he smiled, eyes refused sto leave yours as he watched your body move.
“girlfriend. working on it, compá”
his voice is confident. almost like he’s sure that you’ll be his. and you will
miguel finds you to be far more intriguing than the rest. beautiful, top of the class, fucking funny too. ever since he had exchanged a couple words with you during one the class you both shared, you pretty much occupy his mind from there.
and he had watched you punch one of the guys at his party one time so safe to say you’re the reason why his dick is hard for the rest of the night
“not only that. he touched down and said it was for you, didn’t he?! ugh! i am so freaking jealous!”
it’s almost funny how hopeless romantic most of your friends are. i mean sure, you are too, who isn’t? but you would argue that if it wasn’t coming from miguel, those girls probably won’t be swooning like right now,
“you both are overreacting. he was just in the heat of the moment.”
“nuh uh” gloria shakes her head in disagreement, scoffing with a small smirk. “she’s right, that boy wants you. he wants you bad. like ‘24/7 deep dick inside your pussy and won’t let you walk straight after fucking’ wants you”
“a very… vivid detail, gloria…” you widen your eyes with a laugh while the other girls agree. “but okay”
“how do you even know that?”
“beck said so” she shrugs, making you look at her with a deadpan expression. “what? me and him went back to fucking, don’t judge me!”
a snort escapes your lips, tugging the lipgloss back out of your makeup pouch before unscrewing the tube,
“he’s like a total player, no? i don’t think i could get together with a man who sticks his dick into any hole”
“that’s not true. they’re just rumors”
“yeah, wasn’t dana the only girl he had ever dated?”
“no that was xina. dana fucked his brother”
“what?!”
“isn’t it the other way around?”
“i’ve never seen him with girls that often. your opinion could be wrong y/n”
you brush it off and let the girls gossip in the back. whether it’s true or not, staying away would probably better. after todd, you don’t think you can afford another heartbreak.
fucking. men
-
the party had started a few hours ago, and it’s packed. a lot of students come and start filling up the house, the sound of asap rocky’s ‘frat rules’ booming through the speakers.
it’s not even close to midnight but miguel already spot a few kids getting drunk and throwing up in the backyard making him winces in disgust. he has told a few of his friends to keep an eye for broken furnitures but he doubts any of them listen,
they’re far too busy exchanging saliva with some of the girls from the sorority,
“yo o’hara! beer pong later! you’re on my team!”
peter, one of his frat brothers yells. miguel looks over his shoulder to see him standing by the pong table with the others, he has his arm around a red haired girl’s shoulder.
miguel flashes a smile, head shaking as he fixes himself a beer from the keg. “count me out, parker. go find other team player”
“oh boo! you’re no fun these days, o’hara! don’t tell me you’re standing by to see if she’s coming?”
“wait, miguel’s crushing on someone?” the red haired asks
“i told you babe, it’s the girl from cheerleading team”
miguel doesn’t respond, because peter is right. he has been scanning over the room, pacing back to back to see if you’re here yet. a disappointment sigh leaves his mouth each time he fails to find you,
his frat brothers think he’s gone crazy. because why would he get himself so worked up over one girl when there’s dozens of others lining up to get dicked down by him? pretty ones even,
but that’s the thing, miguel doesn’t find hooking up to be something that needs to be praised for. why would he pat himself on the back for screwing half of the sorority sisters? or bet on who gets to be the lucky bastard to get into the quiet girl’s panties?
gross. that’s for sure. but it seems that his brothers think otherwise. he has no say in that, obviously. to each their own.
“she’s coming, dude. chill. you’ve been eyeing the goddamn door non-stop” beck chuckles, sipping on his beer can
he ignores him, clicking the tongue against his teeth. “you told gloria, right? to bring her here?”
“i did. so stop worrying. enjoy for a bit”
beck leaves him with that, not before bumping miguel’s shoulder lightly with his fist, leaving miguel with his brows furrowed and lip in a small pout,
‘where are you?’ he thinks,
“hey miguel”
a feminine voice pulls him out of the trance, in which he quirks an eyebrow and notices a short haired girl appears by his side, dragging her long manicured nails down his bicep,
“not interested” he shoots her a quick glare before averting his gaze back towards the door,
the girl pouts, taking the bold move by resting her temple against his shoulder in which he shakes her off causing her to gasp,
“the fuck o’hara?!”
“i told you. not interested. beat it” he downs his red solo cup before scrunching it, licking his lips. “go find another guy to bang”
she huffs at that, stomping her feet like a child like her parents refuses to give her candy,
“i mean it. move, i am not—“
“y/n! gloria! you two made it!”
that does it for him. soon as he hears your name falls from beck’s mouth, his gaze never moves quicker. seeing his frat brother by the entrance, greeting gloria with a kiss and you’re standing by gloria’s side with a small smile,
oh god, you.
who looks absolutely breathtaking tonight. adorned in a pretty pink dress that hugs your curves in the right way, your makeup is light and he’s thankful for that. long thick hair fall against your back, leaving your shoulders exposed,
simple yet look so expensive,
miguel pays no mind to the girl besides him, simply just walking away. he doesn’t even bother to acknowledge the people who congratulates him on the win as he strides closer to you,
“y/n y/l/n… what a sight for sore eyes it is to see you, muñeca”
a familiar voice saying your name makes your head turn, seeing who it is. the head of fraternity. miguel o’hara,
he has his arms crossed, causing his biceps to bulge a bit, making him look bigger than he already is. you eye the outfit he has on. a black muscle tank and grey sweatpants. chocolate hair tucked into a bright red snapback that he props on backwards,
he shoots you a flirty smirk, walking a little bit closer just enough to create a small gap between the two of you,
“miguel o’hara” you speak his name, faking a smile. “surprised to see you still sticking around here. i thought you’d be by your room already, pleasuring another girl”
he winces playfully, hand over his heart pretending to be hurt. “ouch, muñeca” a small chuckles leaves his mouth as he watches you roll your eyes, “always with the horrible assumptions. care to play nice this time?”
you glance at him with a scoff. “we both know that’s a fact. you always leave with a girl, don’t you?” you question, eyebrows furrowing as you tilt your head to the side,
he hums, scanning the room before looking back at you. “false. but i’ll let you believe what you want to believe, muñeca.”
you try to guess if he’s being sarcastic with it or actually telling the truth, and you swear it’s the latter. however, you refuse to fall for it,
“what do you want, o’hara?” you sigh, sipping on the beer gloria had offered earlier,
with a chuckle, he leans against the nearest wall, hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. “is it a crime for me to talk to a pretty girl i have a crush on? is there any written policies about that?”
your heart flutters when he calls you pretty. not to mention, a crush?
yeah okay, you do find him extremely attractive and sexy. like, really really sexy. guilty as charged. but who doesn’t think so? his dashing smile and seemingly soft hair do make you a little bit crazy. he’s a total heartthrob on campus.
not only is he the vice captain of the football team but he’s one smart student. passes every class, rarely get a score below B’s. no wonder why teachers are chasing his ass for him to tutor some of the students.
and if that’s not enough, you know how much he loves to spend his time volunteering at local organizations, doing food kits for donations even providing a cost-free child care around the community,
he’s almost—too good to be true.
“i’m flattered, truly. but flirting won’t get you anywhere, mr.” you wag your finger side to side,
“seriously?”
“seriously”
“wow” he breathes out a sigh, faking a disappointment. “i got to try harder than that then”
a giggle leaves your mouth, head shaking. “my advice? stop trying, o’hara”
“i can’t do that, muñeca”
you tilt your head to the side,. “and why’s that?”
“i just told you”
“hm. surely there are other girls out there, o’hara”
“i don’t want them”
“persistent aren’t you?”
“kind of” he casually shrugs. “why, you don’t like it?”
“quite the opposite”
“and why is that entertaining to you?” he asks with a smirk,
“i like seeing men desperate. i like seeing them beg for something they know they can’t have” you bite down onto your lower lip. your respond is not meant to be flirty, but more of like a playful statement.
yet somehow, it triggers something in him. something good.
his eyes flicker down to your mouth, puffing out a deep breath. “shit, you’re making it harder for me now” he mumbles, tongue sticking out to wet down his lip,
“harder to what exactly?”
“to not want you” he replies bluntly, tone changes into a serious one. but it doesn’t come off as a lust or desperation,
your smile falters a little when you realize how serious he becomes. swallowing a lump on your throat, fingers digging into the skin of your arms. eyes are now onto his, and you don’t quite get why it feels so difficult to just look away,
“miguel i—“
“shit, i ruined it, didn’t i? eres un idiota” he curses himself with a grunt shaking his head. hands on his hips “sorry, i’m just— fuck you look so good right now muñeca and there’s like a million things going through my mind when i look at you—“
“miguel—“
“obviously i’m not going to tell you because it’s pg-13 all up in here” he points at his head. “and i don’t want to scare you—“
“miguel—“
“but i went past puberty so i’m not some kind of horny teenager that—“
“miguel! jesus, shut up!” you finally exclaim, and that does it for him. his movements stop when he hears you yell out his name,
clearing your throat, you regain your posture before setting the beer down on the nearest table,
“listen i—i just don’t know what to say after that” you begin with a nervous laugh, tucking a loose hair behind your ear. “you have a crush on me?”
his bushy brows dip into a frown. “didn’t i make it clear these past few weeks?”
“huh?”
“i brought you lunch, let you borrowed my favorite pen during class, i even asked your number through gloria but she didn’t want to give it to me” his shoulders slouch in disappointment. “i’ve had a crush on you since— I don’t know, too long. you’re a tough woman to please, muñeca. i give you that”
“that’s only one time! how am i supposed to know that you weren’t just looking to hook up?”
“ay dios mio! if i wanted to just have sex with you, i would try to get closer with you during a party! which is… technically what i’m doing right now but— that’s not the point!” he groans, rubbing his hands all over his face in frustrations,
“you seriously didn’t notice the signs?!”
“those weren’t fucking signs, dumbass. try to do more than being subtle, why don’t you?!”
“well it’s hard when you keep dodging me and rolling your eyes everytime i talk to you!”
“how can i?! when you slept with like half of the sorority girls on campus?!”
“how many times do i have to tell you that what you hear is not true? i don’t know where you got that from but i can assure you that i haven’t fucked anyone in months! and the idea of hooking up with random girls doesn’t sound appealing to me! want some prove? ask my brothers about that, go on! or ask beck, he’ll tell you the truth. that man is prone to never lying”
you go quiet. face softening a little,
“wait… then what about the girls i saw you walking with after a party?”
“to walk them safely to their cars or their dorm room. that’s it” he explains, watching the surprised look on your face.
“now.. how do you see me?”
you feel terrible for believing all those rumors first before actually knowing it’s confirmed or not. you are taught to never ever judge a book by its cover and you just did,
fuck you’re a terrible person,
“oh..” you mutter softly. “shit—i’m so sorry miguel, I didn’t know”
“it’s fine, don’t worry about it”
“what? no! i was acting like a complete bitch! ugh fuuuuck” you whine, stomping your heel on the ground as miguel watches in amusement,
‘you’re adorable’ he wanted to say,
“i feel terrible—no, i am actually” you grumble, “how can i make it up to you?”
a bright smile spreads across his face. “allow me to get to know you throughout the night? no funny business i promise”
his eyes are glinting with hope when he looks at you, feeling nervous that you might reject him but he’s not letting you see that,
you mirror his expression, feeling your cheeks warm by his question. “miguel—i’d love to but… no offense, i kinda didn’t want to go to your party in the first place, i only went because gloria asked me to and uhm.. i don’t know if i wanted to stay, actually—it’s not because of you but mainly because my social battery had died even before i got here”
“we don’t have to stay—we can go out. we’ll pick a place and go or you can pick, i’m down with whatever”
with wide eyes, you reply “what?”
“yeah. there’s a good diner i always go to when i’m craving for a good burger or a shawarma truck down the street. they don’t have tables and everything but we can order and eat in my car.”
“unless you have better options, it’s cool” he adds
you try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach but it’s hard not to when he’s being extremely… attentive?
my god, is this actually miguel o’hara? the man who’s painted to be heartless and a player?
“mig- this is your party. you can’t just leave” you softly laugh. “we can catch up another time, i hate to be—“
“it’s fine, muñeca. this party is good as it can be without me. besides” he reaches into his pocket to grab his keys,
“i’d like to spend time with you.. is that… okay?”
he’s being careful with his words, because he doesn’t want to scare you off or come off desperate. the last thing he needed was to have you feel repulsed by him,
you give him with a soft smile, looking up at his ruby eyes with your pretty doe ones and from then on, miguel is absolutely sure that he’s in. so fucking in that he knows there is no way out,
it’s not like he wants it any other way
“that’s okay”
-
i was going to make her super mean and bitchy but i figured i’d use that for some other time,
also please tell me this doesn’t sucked. i hate for this one to flop because i might start to fall in love with these pairings
feel free to send your ideas and thoughts about these two
(i might actually write one where they both meet the first time)
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onlyswan · 10 months ago
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summary: in which you sacrifice your strawberries and eyelash wishes for the boy knocking at your door.
idol!jungkook x reader, strangers to friends (?) to lovers / fluff and a pinch of angst / word count: 5.5k
content/warnings: allusions to death and grief / jungkook is a cutie patootie and a blushing hopeless romantic mess / he wants to kiss oc so bad (me too bro) / oc is a sunshine <3 / they do chores and watch movies together :((( / in one scene he was worried oc would think of him as a perv lmao / they’re dorks and i love them / seokjin cameo hehehe
> in which masterlist!
note: to make up for the pain i may have caused and will cause <3 LOL. i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing :D as always reblogs and feedback are appreciated! come chat w me. ily 🌼
“it’s so cold,” you mutter through chattering teeth.
the grocery bags sit on the hardwood table with a thud— the careless bringer too hasty. you shove your icy hands in the deep pockets of your jacket, breathing in and out with a sense of relief.
you are not granted the mundane euphoria for much longer, however. the doorbell rings and you are padding across the floor against your will. the cold air hits your face before it enters your apartment.
however, the happy smile that greets you blankets your heart with a type of warmth that is difficult to describe.
if you had to guess who was behind the door, you wouldn’t say the boy you’ve been fiercely pining over for the past month, but it is certainly who you’d be hoping for regardless.
“good morning!”
“oh! wait there for a moment!”
jungkook stands motionless by your open front door as you disappear into your apartment. confusion accompanied by curiosity, he tries poking his head inside, but then decides that he shouldn’t.
upon your return, his face lights up again.
“here you go!”
he accepts the jar of honey faster than he could think.
“w-why are you-?”
you tilt your head, lips forming a small pout. “isn’t that what you’re here for?”
“uh, actually-” he awkwardly pauses, hand that carries the heavy paper bag behind him suddenly feeling weak. “i came here to give you something.”
your eyes animatedly expand in surprise of the size of it, not at all expecting to receive a gift from him today. you do know that he’s fresh from japan, as you converse on the phone almost everyday… why would he come here almost immediately? and didn’t he say they weren’t given the chance to roam the city because of their work schedule?
“i just grabbed things i thought you might like. i hope i got most of them right?” he explains with a nervous chuckle as you take a look inside.
a diverse array of snacks; a beautiful journal painted with cherry blossoms; a hello kitty plushie; stickers, muji pens…
“oh my god, jungkook… these are too much. you didn’t have to.”
oh, curse the hopeless fluttering of your heart.
“wow, gifting your merch- that’s real idol behavior for you.” you tease him, referring to the hooded jacket that has their group logo on its plastic packaging. “thank you!”
“no but it seriously warms you up! i have one too!”
“jungkook, why are you so cute?!”
“ah, shut up! i’m getting embarrassed!” he whines, blushing. “just look at them later after i leave, how about that?”
“let go! it’s mine!” you glare at him, hugging the paper bag to your chest to deny his advances on snatching it away. “are you not leaving? don’t you have work?”
“i told you— it’s my rest day.”
“you did?”
“while we were texting last night.”
“oh,” you blink. “i don’t remember reading that.”
“you? what are you doing today?”
you bite back the smile threatening to give away the thoughts running in your mind a thousand miles per hour. why does he want to know?
“nothing special. just chores the entire day.”
jungkook puts his hand inside the pocket of his coat, an attempt to appear casual as he offers you his valiant effort. “do you want some help? i’m good at doing chores.”
you stare at him, perplexed, as if he just said the most ridiculous sentence you’ve ever heard in your entire life.
“it’s your rest day and you want to do chores?”
“sure,” he grins playfully, not at all seeing how that could be wrong. “why not?”
“you know…” you pause— observing his expression, considering shutting your mouth, but that plan rarely ever works out. “you can just say that you want to spend time with me, right?”
your bluntness sends his heart racing. you’re a danger to his health.
he sinks his perfect teeth on his bottom lip, bringing his dimples into view. to be honest, you didn’t always have a thing about dimples. you didn’t consider them all that special. but why do they make him look cute and sexy at the same time?
his cheeks become tinted with a pale scarlet. you’re wearing that friendly beam again; he doesn’t know how to act. he never knows whether you are joking or not.
“well, now i know.”
jungkook sets down the jar of honey on the table as he settles in the living room, fascinated doe eyes darting around every inch of your place. it’s not his first time here, but somehow, it looks different each time. the two frames hanging above the sofa captures his attention all over again, colorful drawings against the plain white wall. gifted to you by your siblings, you said.
a tall castle with a happy family. a little boy slaying a dragon to protect a princess from its savage fire.
he is blissfully unaware of the knowledge that the drawings are the lone survivors of a school bus and a tragedy. you want it to stay that way. you want people to feel the opposite of the sadness you feel when you look at them. that is how you seek your peace.
“are you wearing toe socks?”
“huh?” he makes a sound of confusion, only processing your question upon seeing your gaze trained to his feet. “ah- toe socks- yes.”
“i’m only noticing them now. they look funny.” you scrunch your nose, chuckling.
“don’t laugh! they’re so comfortable!”
“really?” your eyes widen with genuine interest. “i should try them then.”
“yeah, you should!”
he whips his head around as he jokingly voices out an observation.
“but ____, your house kind of looks different today… it’s almost like it’s cleaner than the last time i was here.”
you bury your face in your hands with a high-pitched wine, hiding from him in humiliation. you did not plan on inviting someone over that night, and he had to watch you run around organizing and picking up things— the scattered books all over the table and the floor; the jackets that have created a big heap on the small couch; the jewelry box that ended up on the dining table for some reason.
he laughs in endearment, unable to take his eyes from you. even the way your hair bounces as you furiously shake your head is pretty. wait, does that sound weird?
“that’s right, it should look different! the first thing i did when winter break started was clean up my mess.”
“what’s the first chore on the list then?” he catches the grocery bags in the kitchen from his peripheral. “were you putting away your groceries?”
“you really want to do chores? you don’t want to watch a movie or something?”
“aigoo, it’s fine!” he waves off your reluctance. “stop worrying! i already said i’d help you.”
“but it’s embarrassing…”
it’s either jungkook is denying your advances or he is simply dense. but the fact that he showed up at your door unannounced on his day-off despite complaining about his exhaustion from their hectic work schedule, you want to lean towards the latter and believe that he is… as good at chores like he claims to be.
“you must like fruits a lot.” jungkook comments as he is squatted infront of your fridge, sheltering the freshly bought perishables one by one.
kimchi, lettuce, strawberries, tangerines, shine muscat, apples…
this is an entirely different world through your lens.
it feels strange to watch another person restock your fridge for you.
“they’re easy to eat and i’m lazy to cook.”
he chuckles as he looks back at you, who is sat on the dining table, airy and carefree as you snack on a bag of assorted chocolates from the paper bag he brought. almost all of the white chocolates are gone, he notes.
“not because they’re nutritious?”
“that’s the bonus!”
“what is this?”
“cranberry juice.”
“and this?”
“oyster sauce.”
you energetically hop off the table, an idea lighting up the bulb in your mind.
“i have another recipe for you. french toast with strawberries, then drizzle some of the honey. should i make it for you?”
“ah!” he gasps as if he is in pain, but the truth is his mouth is watering. he hasn’t eaten breakfast, and he wanted to eat more for dinner last night but sleep proved to be much more enticing than food. “that sounds so good! i’m starving!”
“stand up!” you begin pulling at the back of his sweater, forcing him to remove himself from the floor. “i’ll make it! just go relax in the living room, okay?”
“but you just said you’re lazy to cook.” he tilts back his head, meeting your gaze. “i’ll help you.”
“i’m not lazy when it becomes to being a host.”
you bend down with a sweet smile, merely inches away from him, and jungkook swears the earth has stopped spinning on its axis. your face is natural and bare, except for the sheen of lip balm across your lips— and dear heavens, having you this close, you are so breathtakingly beautiful.
“they’re playing christmas movies on channel 36.” you announce, giving him the bag of chocolates. “and the remote is… somewhere on the sofa… or maybe the floor.”
and as he gets practically kicked out of the kitchen, your hands roughly pushing his back, he daydreams of kissing you and tasting sugar on your lips.
the sweet, addicting smell of the french toast— strong hints of butter and cinnamon— invades every corner of your apartment. consequently, it also compels jungkook to break your rules and insert himself in the kitchen again.
“you never give up, do you?”
“i don’t,” he agrees, nodding eagerly. he has successfully stolen the task of washing the strawberries, and then slicing them after. he endures the freezing water rendering his hands numb. “it’s a known fact.”
“are you saying i should study harder?” you cross your arms, expression painted with faux vexation.
“yes! exactly!” he humors you, grinning of amusement. “what’s my favorite color?”
you sigh, looking at him from head to toe.
“anyone can guess that from a mile away, jungkook.”
“fuck, okay. that’s fair!”
the sound of his laughter reminds of you reasons to stay through the cycle of the seasons. you don’t understand why, but for some reason, it has finally begun to feel like christmas. the only comfort that comes along with the cruel winter that nips at your skin; the blanket over your heart that provides a type of warmth one can travel to seek but will never be able to find alone.
“what’s my height then?”
“aren’t you six feet?”
the silence that follows is an answer enough for you. the noise of the television emerges now that none of you is talking. he pretends to be too busy to speak, transferring the strawberries over to the chopping board.
“yes, you’re ri-”
“liar!” you point an accusatory finger at him.
and he winces, guilty as charged.
“you hesitated!”
“tsk, i should’ve said yes faster! i wanted to experience what it’s like to be tall!” he regretfully purses his lips, eyebrows knitted as if he just lost the lottery. “but haven’t you read it online? even my shoe size and weight are there.”
“what? why do people even need to know that…?” you exclaim, flabbergasted. “i mean- of course i’ve searched up your name, but it feels like cheating on a test. does that sound silly…? it’s just more fun learning about you from you.”
you briefly walk away to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and jungkook is left at the counter with fondness blossoming in his chest, bleeding into the chopped strawberries staining his hands red.
he calls out your name.
“mhmm?” you hum in question, muffled by the water in your mouth.
“want to hear a fact about me?”
you wipe your lips with the back of your hand, eyes expanding with fueled interest. “what?”
“i’m actually very good in the kitchen.” he boasts his skills with the kitchen knife, quick and precise, the blade against the wood creating the satisfying click you usually only hear from cooking shows. “are you seeing this? huh…? what do you think?”
“so i’ve noticed. i want something new!”
at that, his shoulder sags in disappointment. to his demise, there goes another failed attempt at making you acknowledge that he is boyfriend material.
“what do you want to know? ask me questions.”
“what’s your ideal type?”
being in your presence for the past hour has gotten jungkook re-adjusted to your personality— straight-forward, bold, smart— so vivacious that it’s dizzying. you make him nervous and comfortable at the same time, and he doesn’t quite know how to explain it either. but you’re a breath of fresh air, the change that he has been anticipating to disrupt his routine.
“why do you want to know that?”
you shrug coyly, smiling like the troublesome vixen that you are. you rather enjoy the tension that has hung in the air. if you’ve learned something from the past: men are easy to get, not easy to keep. because they relish in the chase, getting strung along like this. so, shouldn’t you have your fun too? but even if jungkook’s intentions were pure, you can only imagine that seeing someone whose life revolves around their career is… the perfect recipe for disaster.
“i think who you like also says a lot about who you are as a person.”
“i like someone who is kind and funny…” he hums in thought, unconsciously slotting a piece of strawberry in between his lips. “and passionate about the things they love… mhmm, someone who can be honest with me.”
his words form a constellation named after you, unbeknownst to you, and he wants to say more but anticipating what comes next after you connect the dots makes his stomach twist. he doesn’t feel like an adult yet. he’s still just a young boy with a gorgeous crush and high ambitions that coalesce in his dreams.
“i like someone who has a really pretty smile, too.”
and he should probably stop staring, erase the dumb lovesick smile on his face. for fuck’s sake, it would be easier for him if you would just do the same. behind the sparkles of your eyes, there is something he’s been dying to decipher.
“okay, why are you looking at me like that?”
because you are so pretty, especially when you smile.
“nothing,” he replies innocently. “you? what’s your ideal type? who do you like?”
“i don’t know… no one has captured my heart yet. they’re not trying hard enough!”
every romance you’ve had so far has been a letdown.
“but i’m still looking. i’m young, and hot, and the universe is vast.”
“mhm, i see… that’s true, but maybe… you don’t want to be looking too far.” jungkook suggests.
you smirk. “so you agree that i’m hot?”
“you know. you don’t need me to say it.” he chuckles, shaking his head.
“but i want to hear you say it.”
“you’re very beautiful, ____.”
“but that’s not-”
“the food is ready! let’s eat it before it gets cold!”
he runs to the living room without waiting for you, and you seize the opportunity to squeal without a sound, punching the counter without actually punching— releasing the giddiness threatening to spill from the seams of your heart.
you don’t know if this is heading somewhere, nor do you expect it to, but where you are right now is a good place to be.
the movie playing on the screen has become more of a white noise to you, a family comedy far less fascinating compared to jungkook drizzling honey over strawberries and bread from a spoon. you wonder if he is aware how often he creates sound effects while he is doing something.
beside you, his body quakes with cackles during the scenes that an editor would definitely insert the classic sound of an audience’s collective laughter and holler. you stumble upon the understanding that his happiness lies in a myriad of things, and you would envy him for it if not for the fact that he is currently sharing that happiness with you. you laugh when he laughs, and being becomes a little less heavier at that moment.
another commercial break rudely interrupts and jungkook turns towards you. the two of you sit cross-legged, knees knocking against each other as you occupy nearly the entire sofa.
“hi!”
“hi.”
“what are your plans for the holidays?”
“my best friend’s family invited me to stay with them for christmas until the new year. it’s kind of been a tradition since…”
the end of your sentence hangs suspended in the air. you still can’t say it out loud.
jungkook knows they’re gone and you’re alone: only the plain and brutal truths.
the reminder that this is the third christmas you will not spend with your family; the thought that this would be the third christmas they would spend without you if the afterlife was real— they bring tears to your eyes at once, but you forcibly blink them away, shoving enthusiasm down your throat.
“how about you?” you take a bite from your toast, attempting to divert your thoughts to… anything else. “are you coming home?”
you hide so well behind a smile. it doesn’t occur to jungkook that his question rubbed salt on an open wound.
“i miss my mom but i can’t go home yet.” he pouts. “i have work on christmas day as usual. we’ve been preparing hard for it.”
“oh, that’s right! gayo daejeon?!”
he nods in confirmation.
the music festival has been an annual event for his group since they debuted, and he never feels the need to complain because not everyone is given this kind of opportunity. what’s extraordinary for most has become his ordinary, and what was once his ordinary like everybody else’s has simply become a thing of the past. nevertheless, he does not have regrets. he is living a good life, one that he believes is his fate. as long as he has a voice and it is being heard, then his existence has meaning.
“your family will surely watch you, so they’re still celebrating it with you in a way. making them proud is the best christmas gift you can give!”
and right now, in his life, you are the cherry on top. you were so cheerful and supportive about the final shows of their tour as well, raving about how amazing it is to perform three nights in a row at gocheok skydome.
“i’ll watch you too!”
he can’t help it— you’re driving him to be better at what he does. childishly, he wants show off and be the one to capture your heart.
“ah!” he groans. “that means i should work harder at practice tomorrow! i can’t mess up infront of you and my family!”
“why not me? you want to make me proud too?” you interrogate him jokingly.
“of course, it’s my job. it’s what i do best. i’ll make you see!”
“use me as motivation then. you can’t mess up, okay? you have to do well, jungkook! you better not make a mistake! my eyes will be focused on you only!”
his face is reminiscent of a deer caught in the headlights— the headlights being your wide, threatening eyes.
he releases a shaky sigh in dramatic fashion. “i don’t feel motivated, though? i’m getting pressured?”
you wheeze; the plate over your lap tilts along with its contents.
“this is tough love!”
jungkook nearly staggers to his feet. “…love?”
you roll your eyes, small corners of your lips still cheekily lifted. “was the french toast good?”
jungkook is interrupted before he can form a response.
“but if it tastes like shit, just lie to me!”
“what are you talking about?!”
oh my god, you’re too fucking good at making him laugh.
“you’re eating it too! you know it’s delicious!”
“maybe you got a bad batch!”
“i’m going to the laundry shop across the street. i’ll just be a minute.” you announce, hauling a laundry basket to the living room.
your strained grunts prompt jungkook to look up from his phone, and eventually to stand up with urgency and relieve you of your heavy, heavy burden.
“shit, how heavy is this?”
you’re not given a chance to protest as the basket is immediately stolen from your grasp; your lips part open but no words come out.
“i’ll come with you!”
“well, hopefully not more than twelve kilos.”
it’s definitely heavier than usual; mainly comprised of the thick and layered clothes you’ve been wearing to shield yourself from the unforgiving cold.
“let’s go.”
jungkook wraps his hand around your wrist, gently tugging. the butterflies in your stomach wakes up earlier than spring’s arrival.
“this thing is bigger than you.”
an extremely obvious exaggeration.
“i’ll be the one to carry it.“
jungkook wears a cap and a face mask underneath his hoodie, eyes barely even visible in his all-black getup for the public to see; and somehow you also find yourself with a scarf around your neck, pulled up over the bridge of your nose.
when the year 2017 rolled in, you predicted that more crazy, life-altering stuff would happen. it has been an on-going theme, a relentless domino effect that has brought you to your knees time and time again. but you never would’ve fucking imagined that this is how you would be wrapping it up. how the hell did you cross paths with a famous idol, and why is he carrying your laundry basket right now?
“wait here for a bit.” you bring both hands to the basket’s handles, coaxing him to let go. “i’ll just bring it inside.”
“are you only dropping it off? that’s expensive!”
“what?” you stare at him in bewilderment, not expecting him to utter such statement at all. “you’re talking like you’re not rich!”
“i’m not! and still,” jungkook becomes flustered underneath his disguise. “it’s good to be practical. anyway, we have a lot of time.”
“you sound more like a mom than my mom did.”
“shhh!” he shushes you, putting a finger over his face mask. “let’s just do your laundry ourselves.”
“why would you do laundry right now? you’re supposed to be resting in the first place!”
a tug of war ensues infront of the laundry shop. strangers doesn’t know better. you look like a married couple bickering over who should take responsibility of the chore.
“____, just let me, mhm? i’m a pro at doing laundry too! we’ll be done before you know it!”
“how are you good at everything? honestly, it sounds like a scam!”
“how dare you doubt me?” he gasps in offense. “i do my own laundry!”
“seriously?” you quirk an eyebrow.
“i’m serious!”
“i don’t think i believe you, though…”
“if you search online, you-” your voice echoes in his mind, and subsequently, jungkook cuts himself off.
‘it feels like cheating on a test. it’s more fun learning about you from you.’
“oh, nevermind. let’s go inside already. i’m freezing!”
“jungkook!” you whine, stomping your feet on the ground as you refuse to let go of the basket despite jungkook beginning to head inside.
“why?” he copies the childishness of your tone, and although you can’t see his face, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes tell you enough.
“we can’t…”
the adorable sight of you appearing to be so shy is foreign to him. he can’t help but to chuckle. “why not?”
your lips form a pout.
“my panties…”
you bring a finger to point at the basket.
“they’re in there too… i was only going to drop them off today because you came with me…”
“ah…” jungkook awkwardly freezes, unblinking. “wait, you’re right?”
why didn’t he think of that? he’s a fucking idiot. of fucking course. what if you take things the wrong way and you’re creeped out by him now?!
“fuck, sorry. i’m sorry. i wasn’t- um, i swear i wasn’t trying to…”
his tongue becomes tied, struggling to search for the words that won’t make him sound like a damn pervert.
yeah, way to go, jungkook. you’re not the fucking boyfriend yet and you’re ruining your chances.
“did i make you uncomfortable? i’m sorry. it probably looked li-”
“hey, breathe, calm down. it’s alright, jungkook.”
you giggle in amusement, placing a hand over his chest— his heart. it’s meant to ease him, but the knowledge that you’re feeling his racing heartbeat only causes it to further intensify. he swallows the lump in his throat, dumbfounded by the turn of events. he wants the ground to swallow him whole, but he also wants to stay in this moment a little while longer.
“it’s alright. i’ll go bring this inside then i’ll treat you to lunch at the restaurant over there! don’t run away from me, okay?”
“the yukgaejang looks good.” you utter absentmindedly, admiring the spicy beef soup with plentiful vegetables from afar. “i’m jealous of you.”
the other tables are already having a feast while you and jungkook are waiting for your take-out to be prepared.
“then you should’ve ordered it too.” jungkook scolds you lightheartedly. “should i go?”
“no! i’m not good with spicy food. spice makes me cry.”
he smiles softly. once again, you complete the picture from his eyes. “what is there to frown so sadly about?”
“i feel like i’m missing out.” you complain, the pout on your face almost permanent. “spicy food is like one of the trademarks of korea, you know? but i can’t handle it!”
“so cute…” jungkook has decided to give in to his impulses, it seems— the evidence is him pinching your cheek for the very first time, and with the discovery of its delightsome softness, it will definitely not be the last.
“oh, oh, oh! an eyelash!”
his doe eyes glisten with pure wonder and excitement, and the air in your lungs becomes suspended when his hand moves to tenderly cup the side of your face. as he is absorbed in capturing the tiny eyelash that has fallen and glued itself on your cheek, your mind reels with the size of his hand, the sensation of his innocent touch against your neck.
“aaand-” jungkook takes your hand, passing on the eyelash to your index finger. “there you go. make a wish!”
your eyes flicker down, and none of you speaks for a moment or two.
a wish…?
what does one wish for when they have given up on wishing for miracles?
“did you do it?”
you peek at jungkook, nodding. at last, you blow the eyelash away, outside the window, where it becomes one with the snowflakes that came from the same sky where wishes are supposedly granted.
“what did you wish for?”
“i’ll tell you when it comes true.”
jungkook eats so well— you feel full just by watching him eat. so when he asked you, eyebrows knitted and legs bouncing, if he could have more rice, you were left with no choice but to plug in the rice cooker for the second time today. you cooked only enough for two meals today: brunch and dinner for one. you’re more than happy to have given him the dinner portion. you like that your apartment is providing warmth for another soul, despite the old times that it housed ones that ended up haunting you.
“are there any more chores to do? while we wait for the rice?”
you gaze switches from him to the living room.
the boy who was knocking at your door is now vacuuming your floors.
you sit on the couch with your legs hugged to your chest, chin propped on your knees. an unexplainable feeling swims in your chest, but your heart calls to welcome it. not to be delusional, but technically, isn’t this a marriage proposal?
it falls on dear ears— the infuriating sound of the cheap vacuum cleaner your landlord lended you and never came back for. underneath it is jungkook’s mellifluous voice, humming and singing, and it’s all you can hear.
the only use you knew of honey is the magic it does with tea for a sore throat. when you learned about his demanding occupation, he is all you can think of in relation to the elixir. since then, you’ve been taking the god awful amount of honey your pesky neighbor provides without any complaints.
this is nice… this is good. you are glad that you opened the door.
after a hearty and satisfying meal, you and jungkook retired to your previous spots infront of the television screen. more of the snacks he bought for you ended up being shared. near your stacks of books are colorful food wrappers and half-empty glasses of water. two mediocre yet entertaining movies later, you tell jungkook that you should pick up your laundry before the shop closes in an hour. however, after he has excused himself to the bathroom, he is greeted by the sight of you peacefully asleep on the sofa.
once more, a new side of you is laid bare, and his affection grows. he doesn’t know when he can admire your face this close again without melting from your stare.
heedful of disturbing your much deserved rest, he carefully places a pillow beneath your head, and he pulls down the blanket you’re wrapped in to cover your cold feet.
with one last stolen glimpse, he grabs your key and receipt from the bowl and leaves.
“is it time for you to leave?” you delicately rub at your eyes that are still half-closed; voice quiet, barely there.
you were awoken by the front door opening and closing, but nothing has quite registered to your fuzzy brain yet, except for the coat that you neatly kept and is already re-worn by its owner.
and he knows you’re most probably just sleepy, but the way you’re gazing at him as if you’re sad to see him go makes his heart clench.
“no, i picked up your laundry.” he enlightens you, consciously speaking with refined tenderness, as to preserve the serenity that has enveloped the atmosphere. “i can stay until eight. is that okay?”
you release a weary sigh, nodding. “of course… and you’re such a nice friend, thank you.”
he plops down on the sofa, filling the jungkook-shaped space beside you.
tired… you’re so tired… despite the given privilege to finally sleep to your heart’s content, you’re still so tired. your forehead lands softly on his shoulder, and unbeknownst to you due to your stupor, jungkook’s breath hitches— the polar opposite of the steady rise and fall of your chest. you make him swoon. he deliberately ignores the fact that you just called him a friend.
you peer down at the floor, past the curtain of your disheveled hair, slowly blinking. those ridiculous toe socks… you giggle in secret.
“jungkook?”
“yes?”
“are you cold?”
“freezing.”
you lift your head and he knows— you have to be playing games with his heart, bringing the temptation to kiss you so painfully close. “do you want some tea?”
the performance has commenced but the passionate screams of the audience still rings in jungkook’s ears as he runs backstage, chased by the staff attempting to wipe the sweat he is practically bathing in. he squeezes one eye shut as beads of sweat threaten to enter it. his chest heaves with exhaustion and his heart pumps with overwhelming adrenaline. most of the time, this job doesn’t feel real. he feels high. this is the textbook definition of a dream.
“where’s my phone? please? does anyone have it?” he yells in the midst of the chaos and clamor as he completely strips off his in-ears.
a hand reaches towards him with the device, and his expression of gratitude gets lost somewhere among the repetitive reminders of the remaining time before they should have returned to their designated seats.
he allows the hair and make-up stylists to do their jobs, him as their doll in need of a retouch. on the other hand, he impatiently waits for his phone to power on.
the tapping of jungkook’s foot ceases, and from his glowing reflection on the vanity mirror, the clueless people surrounding him witnesses love strike.
guess my eyelash wish worked like a charm. your performances went really well
and you looked so cool on stage ☺️
merry christmas jungkook ❤️
“jungkook-ah, what are you smiling at?!”
seokjin cackles. jungkook didn’t even notice him roll his chair so close. he then decides to play dumb to tease their youngest one.
“wow, who is this ____ you’re texting?”
“hyung!” jungkook panics, hissing underneath his breath. “lower your voice!”
“ouch!” seokjin yells, rubbing his arm that was hit as a punishment.
he allows a moment of silence.
his expression goes blank and he avenges himself.
“ah!” jungkook gasps as the slap on his thigh resonates, forced to be ripped away from overthinking a text message. “hyung! you better start running!”
Draft: i know it’s late.. but can i see you later?|
taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D
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honeekyuu · 5 months ago
Text
love affair. [tsukishima kei x f!reader] chapter three.
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>>The unsavory reputation that Tsukishima Kei has built for himself as the Sendai Frogs' rudest rookie puts his upcoming contract renewal at risk
or
Tsukki really needs a girlfriend, and you really need everyone to stop calling you his pathetic, pining best friend<<
series status: [complete]
previous. || masterlist.
a/n: dont talk to me about that scene after he wakes up and gets angry in her bed okay dont fucking talk to me about it,,,,, that was the filthiest non-smut scene ive ever written
[feel free to buy me a cup of coffee!]
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Kei stays at your apartment until the end of the semester.
He goes home a couple times a week, of course – he has to do laundry, and he and Yamaguchi have a pre-set Tuesday night plan of sitting on the couch and playing video games until it’s late enough that Tadashi almost always sleeps through his first class on Wednesdays.
But… he somehow finds himself in your bed every other night of the week.
The first two weeks or so, he comes up with excuses.
‘ It’s getting cold, and your heating hasn’t kicked in yet. ’
‘ If I go home this late, it’ll wake Yamaguchi. ’
‘ We’re going out in the morning, anyway. It only makes sense. ’
He does it until, one morning, you roll over and lean your chin on his chest, looking up at him with those doe eyes he likes so much.
‘ You do realize I’ve already agreed to let you keep staying here, right? We talked about it that first morning.’
He’d remembered. He just hadn’t been sure if you’d meant it. But since you’d brought it up again, he’d stopped asking. He’d just allowed himself to get used to falling asleep and waking up next to you.
It makes sleeping on his own for two nights a week utter hell. He can’t get to sleep no matter what he tries. The only thing that works is falling asleep on a video call with you, like a stupid, lovesick teenager. He’s terrified you’ll tell Kiyoko, who would immediately tell Yamaguchi, who would never let him live it down. But it seems you’re just as shy about it, about the fact that you’ve become dependent on each other to do something as simple as sleep.
And sleep is all you do. He’s never dared to cross a line with you in bed. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t try anything, not there, and he’s stuck to it. He lets himself kiss you stupid on the couch before bed, and in your kitchen when you make him coffee before class, and against the wall of your bathroom when your outfit and makeup look a little too good on you.
But never in bed. It’s too tempting – you’re too tempting. And you have no fucking clue.
You just prance around your apartment in those stupid little shorts, with your stupid little smile and that stupid little way you say his name–
‘ Tsukki!’, your giggle excited and your eyes bright.
‘Hey, Tsukki-’, your tone distracted while you sort through mail.
‘Tsukki…’, your eyes wide and your voice whiny while you ask him for something.
It drives him crazy. It makes him want to grab your face and kiss the pout right off your mouth. It makes him want to buy and do anything you want, even when you want nothing at all. It makes him want to whisper your name and admit things that he shouldn’t.
But nothing makes him want to do any of those things more than when you say his name properly, with a little edge in your voice.
‘ Tsukishima.’ , your hands on your hips and your eyebrows arched in annoyance.
‘I swear, Tsukishima- ’, your breath sharp and shallow because you’re stopping yourself from picking a fight.
‘ Tsukishima… ’, your lips close and your eyes twinkling with amusement, because you remember the things he’d been drunk enough to admit at that party.
When the syllables of his name stack in your mouth like that, he’s overcome with thoughts that one should never have about a friend. Thoughts of pinning you up against the wall and daring you to say his name like that again. Thoughts of bending you over the side of the couch and showing you just how in charge you really are. Thoughts of kissing you in that tiny bed, and then making you cry in it, your face buried in the sheets and his name – ‘ Tsukki, please- ’ – whined so prettily.
But he doesn’t do any of that. He just watches you use his name in that scolding, reprimanding way, and he smiles. He sits there and smiles and pretends that every fiber of his very being isn’t aching to show you how to use that smart ass mouth of yours.
And yet, despite the torture, he stays. He stays, waking up next to you every morning and enduring the pain of your presence, and he has no idea why. Maybe it’s the way you hum to yourself while you make breakfast and wince when your coffee’s too hot, because it somehow always is. Maybe it’s the way you think aloud when you do chores, your grocery list rattled off while you stand in the corner folding laundry. Maybe it’s the way you gravitate toward him as if on some biological clock, every half hour marked by your fingers combing through his hair while he works or your arms wrapping around him from behind while he’s putting his shoes on to leave for practice.
Maybe it’s the way you treat him exactly the same but completely different.
You’re the girl he’s always known, rolling those pretty little eyes and telling him without hesitation when he’s being an idiot. You still judge him when he says stupid shit, and you’re still strong about your boundaries and your ability to hold a grudge. But… something’s different.
You sit closer lately, your legs draped over his knee and your side pressed against his. You let him kiss you even when you’re mad, and sometimes – sometimes — that’s all it takes to get you to forgive him. You call him on your way home from class – not because you have anything specific to say, but because you simply feel like talking his ear off while you walk.
He’s not sure which of these things is the reason he stays, but he thinks about every single one. He thinks about them, and he seeks them out. He calls you on the days that you forget to call him yourself. He takes his headphones off if he sees you go into the kitchen, because the chance of hearing you hum off-key is high. He gravitates to you when you’re too immersed in work to pay attention to him, his body draping over yours. He pulls you into the spot between his legs when you watch TV, because sometimes, having your legs hooked over his knee isn’t enough. Sometimes, he wants your back against his chest and your thighs in his hands, your head against his shoulder and your breathing synchronized with his own.
God, he thinks he’s obsessed with you.
Maybe that’s why – on Friday nights, when Yamaguchi and Kiyoko come over – his roommate always looks at him a little too long, the freckled boy staring in suspicion. Tadashi plays along with Kiyoko’s jokes about the two of you, but his eyes are always narrowed when no one’s looking, a knowing smirk tugging at his lips before he looks away. And, when Kei inevitably mumbles that he’ll be staying the night instead of going home with Yamaguchi, maybe that’s why his roommate always meets his eyes evenly, like he’d been expecting it.
Maybe that’s why, on a Saturday morning in mid-December, he finally gets tired of watching your body insecurity get in the way of everything. In the way of that stupid little smile he’s starting to fall for, in the way of the sweet way you say his name. In the way of you seeing how painfully obvious it is that he’s obsessed with you.
It’s that Saturday morning in mid-December that he finally loses his mind, in that tiny bed with you.
He wakes on that cold morning to you shifting beside him, wrapped up in his arms. Your back is pressed to his chest, one of his arms wrapped snugly around your middle and the other tucked under your head. You wriggle against him, and, in his half-groggy state, he genuinely wonders if you’re trying to start something with him (later, he chalks that one up to wishful thinking).
You shift again, your hips moving under his arm, and he hums.
“‘s up?” He says, sighing into your hair and pulling you tighter against him. You curve your back protectively when he does, one of your hands coming down on his wrist.
“Uhm,” You mumble. “Can you… Uhm-” 
It’s the discomfort in your voice that clues him into the fact that something’s going on with you.
He peels one eye open and examines you, and, when he still doesn’t understand what’s happening, he opens his other eye and lifts his head. You’re holding your phone with one hand, the screen displaying a comment posted under a photo of the two of you.
[8:54 AM] keisgirl : is it me, or is she gaining weight?????
It’s one of the most-liked comments, with the replies underneath it varying from neutral agreement to outright hateful bullshit.
You haven’t realized that he’s seen your phone. “Could you let me go, please?” You ask, in a voice so small and vulnerable that he’s tempted to listen to you. But he doesn’t, because he knows what this is. This is you falling back in on yourself, closing your body off to him because you don’t want him to touch or look at you.
He sits up quickly, ignoring the noise of surprise you make when his arm slides out from under your head. He snatches your phone away and turns his back to you, scrolling through the comments.
“Tsukki-” You say, recovering and sitting up. You press your chest to his shoulder, reaching for your phone, but he just brushes your hand away, shamelessly pulling up the rest of your open tabs. He knows he shouldn’t, but he needs to check.
Unfortunately, he knows you a little too well.
The Trajectory of Frogs’ Tsukishima Kei’s Relationship with Plus-Sized Girlfriend: Will They Last?
Y/l/n Y/n: In Love or Gold-Digging?
How to Lose Weight in Time for the Holidays
30 Pounds in 30 Days: New Diet Takes World by Storm
Kei’s not sure he’s ever been this angry before. He stares emptily down at your phone, finally letting you pluck it out of his open palm. His hands shake just slightly, and he knows you can see them by how still you are.
“ Tsukki, ” You whisper after a moment. “I-”
“Are you out of your mind?” He says, his voice devoid of emotion.
“I just-”
He whirls on you, eyes alight. “Are you out of your mind , Y/n?” He jabs a finger at your phone. “What are you gonna do, starve yourself because of something that someone on the internet said?”
“It’s not just one person,” You argue weakly. “I’ve been gaining wei-”
“So?” He barks. “So what? I can’t tell.”
You roll your eyes, and he actually feels his eye twitch. “I think you’re a little biased, Tsukki-”
“No,” He says. Laughs, because you’re really going to make him lose it this time. “No, I’m not biased. I’m important.” He rips your phone from your hand again, dropping it on the nightstand as he turns in place and climbs over you. “After everything, you still listen to a bunch of shitheads who know nothing about you. And then you call me biased, because I have an accurate fucking opinion about how you look.”
You gasp when he puts a hand on your shoulder, shoving you down on the mattress. He grabs your thighs and pries them open, settling himself between them. “Why did you want me to let you go, Y/n?”
You swallow hard. “I… I don’t know-”
“You didn’t want me to touch you. Why?” He anchors his hands to your waist, dragging you toward him. “Did you think I was suddenly going to change my mind if I could feel your body? That I was going to feel you under my hands and realize that I was repulsed by you? That I only like you with your clothes on, that I hadn’t considered what might be under them? Is that what you were scared of?”
You don’t answer him for a moment, so he grips your hips tight, his thumbs sure to leave prints on your skin later. “Yes,” You whisper finally, shutting your eyes. “I just… don’t feel pretty-”
“Look at me,” He says, a heated sigh leaving him. You don’t, so he tugs on your thighs hard. “ Look at me, Y/n.”
You pry your eyes open, staring into his own with trepidation.
“Now listen to what I’m about to say to you,” He snaps. “Can you do that, for once ? Or are you going to keep acting stupid? Because I’m not in the habit of having stupid friends.”
Your brow furrows in irritation, and he’s glad to see it. He’s glad to see anything that isn’t that haunting insecurity. He sits back on his heels, keeping his eyes locked on yours. 
“What you seem to be fundamentally misunderstanding, Y/n-” He growls. “-is the idea that the way you look and the way you’re shaped is something that is, without a doubt, unattractive. You think your body is something that no one would ever want to touch — you don’t seem to fucking comprehend that some people might like the way you feel.”
He squeezes your hips once. “ Some people might like that they can hold you like this – that the more of you that there is, the more that they can hold while they fuck you.” Your face is starting to turn red, and he feels immense pride for it. He anchors himself to you, shifting his weight and dragging you down against his hips, over and over again. “ Some people want to see what your body looks like when it bounces like this, Y/n-” You’re starting to gasp, and Kei’s unable to stop the way his eyes trail down the length of your body while he moves you. 
“Some people are obsessed with the idea of making you look like this,” He says, his own breath coming short for a moment. “Because some people want to rail you, and no one could ever look as good getting railed as you would.”
“Tsukki,” You whisper, your chest rising and falling sharply with each gasp. He stops moving you – lets you breathe for just a moment – and slides his hands up your sides, his palms absorbing the heat in your skin while his fingers fan out greedily over your ribs. Your shirt rises with his movement, and he stops when the fabric is bunched up under your breasts. His fingertips skim the skin there, notably missing that lacy underwire that’s always kept him at bay.
He’d noticed that you don’t wear a bra to bed – of course you don’t, that would be unreasonable to expect, even with him here – but fuck, if he isn’t just now realizing what that means. He chews on the inside of his bottom lip, eyeing you hungrily. 
The moment to breathe seems to have been enough for you, because your fingers close around his wrists. His first thought is that you’re stopping him from going further, that maybe he should back off. But you don’t push him away.
If anything, your eyes seem glazed over with desire, your breath still coming a little short.
“ Tsukki ,” You breathe, shifting your hips against his carefully — there’s no way you can’t feel how hard he is right now. Your voice is quiet, like before, but now there’s more. More, like you want him to keep talking to you.
He can do that.
“Do you believe me yet?” He says. His voice shakes with his breath, and he swallows hard to hide how you’re affecting him. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
When you don’t answer him this time, he can’t tell if it’s because you really don’t have an answer, or if it’s because you’re fucking with him. Because the way your eyes drag down his body – the way you open your thighs an inch more and press your hips against his gently, an invitation – makes him think you might be fucking with him.
“I’m just,” You mumble, your legs starting to wrap around his waist. “I dunno, Tsukki.”
You must be fucking with him.
“No?” He says, his hands sliding down to hook under your thighs and peel them off of him. Your eyes widen, his own narrowing. He extracts himself from between your legs, as much as he doesn’t want to, and tosses your legs sideways onto the bed. You gasp, alarmed, and he grips your waist, hoisting you up by force and turning you over. You scramble to catch yourself, your hands and knees hitting the mattress.
“What-”
Kei sits up behind you, finding his place on your hips again and yanking you back. Your ass presses against him, and he holds you there, no matter how hard you wriggle. Your heavy breathing is audible, and he’s thankful for it, because the way you’re moving against him is not making his own breath very quiet at all.
“Still not sure, sweetheart?” He says, flattening a hand against your back and pushing down on it. You collapse on your elbows with a yelp, and he slides his fingers up and takes a fistful of your hair. “How about this-” He snaps his hips forward, feeling his thighs slap against yours and your ass ripple from the force. You choke out a moan, and he does it again, against his better judgment. 
“You think the right guy wouldn’t die to feel you like this, Y/n? You think he wouldn’t do anything for a chance to make you sound like this?”
You moan again in response, and his stomach flips with excitement – because the syllables that had just stacked in your mouth were undeniably those of his own name. 
He rocks his hips into yours again as he uses his hold on your hair to yank you up. Your breath catches in your throat, and you lift up blindly, so trusting and sweet while he pulls you back against his chest.
“What was that, princess?” He says, breathless and embarrassingly eager. “What’d you say?”
Your lips purse, and he knows he was right, because you’re looking up at him with embarrassment. He releases your hair, his hand coming down to wrap around the column of your throat. He stares down into your eyes, feeling your pulse skip under his palm. 
“ Again, Y/n ,” He whispers, watching goosebumps break out over your skin. Two syllables fill your mouth, the same he’d heard the first time.
“ Tsukki.”
He’s so fucked.
Releasing you, he plants a hand on your back and shoves you onto your stomach, handling you roughly as he turns you back around. He clambers between your legs, relishing the way your thighs open and wrap around his waist, so welcoming. He cages you in, hovering over you as he stares. You stare back, eyes wide and breath short.
And then he stops, because he knows he should. 
He has to. 
“Is this okay?” He whispers, eyes searching your face. You seem taken aback by his question, your brow furrowing. 
And then you blink, and your eyes clear.
And, for all that he’s silently begging you to say yes – begging for this to be such a simple choice for you – he’s glad he asked. Because he can see the realization starting to hit you. That this will go somewhere, somewhere fast and irreversible, if you say yes.
You swallow, and then your eyes look away from his, and he takes that as his answer. 
“Okay,” He sighs, hanging his head. “Okay.” He starts to lift away from you, but your hands are on his biceps.
“Wait.” You search him anxiously. “Tsukki, I- I just…”
“I know,” He says, nodding. He’s a little disappointed — mostly just a little hard and more than a little horny — but there’s no world in which he’d rather you do something you’re not sure about. “It’s okay. I know. That’s why I asked.”
You look like you want to cry. “Are you mad at me?”
He glares down at you. “Seriously?”
“I feel like I led you on-”
“Y/n, of course I’m not fucking mad at you.” He sighs, slowly extracting himself from between your thighs and sitting beside you. “I’m not that guy-”
“I know!” You sit up on your knees, hands on his shoulders. “I know, Tsukki. I just… Are we good?”
He laughs tiredly, dropping his head back against the wall. “ Yes , Y/n. We’re good. I’m not gonna make you do something you’re not ready for.”
You shake him. “But are we good, Tsukki? Us?”
He looks at you, taking you in. You look so scared. And as much as he wants to yell at you, to snap at you for being this worried that he would be upset with you over this, he knows he can’t. Not when you’re this scared.
“Will you please stop listening to other people? I really can’t keep doing this. I mean it this time,” He says. You pause, and then you nod. He lifts his brows. “You believe me? You trust me?” 
You give him a shy laugh, your face radiating heat. “I think you kind of… made it clear what you think. I believe you, Tsukki.”
He tries to fight the blush that’s rising. He’d really lost his mind there. “Then, yes,” is all he says, pushing your hair behind your ear and taking your face in one hand. “We’re good. I promise.” 
You sniffle, but you nod, and the doe eyes you give him make his heart skip. “Okay. Thank you. I… I’ll be ready soon, I swear-”
“You don’t have to promise me something like that, Y/n. You don’t have to be ready soon, and it doesn’t even have to be me.” He bumps his forehead against yours, the closest he can come right now to shaking you in frustration.
“It’ll be you,” You admit, glancing away nervously. Kei thinks his heart actually stops in his chest when he hears that. 
“You’re… Are you sure?” He says, barely a whisper. “It doesn’t have to be.”
You just laugh, watery and sweet and perfectly capable of killing him where he sits. “Of course it’ll be you. Don’t be stupid.”
“ Me? ” He can’t help but laugh, sharp and full of disbelief. “You’re telling me not to be stupid? Are you joking?”
When he ropes you into his arms and starts berating you for being stupid, you only giggle and let him, and he thinks — not to be dramatic or anything — that he might just do anything to hear that sound for the rest of his life.
He’s so fucked.
He goes home later that day, to get some more clothes and because Tadashi’s going home for Christmas.
When he enters the townhouse – brushing off the paparazzi at the gate asking if he plans to move in with you since he’s spending so much time at your place – he finds his roommate rushing around the house in a flurry of open suitcases and screaming.
“Uh-” Kei ducks as a pair of boxers goes flying over his head. “Are you okay ?”
“ I overslept! ” Yamaguchi screeches from upstairs. “ I stayed on the phone with Lev too late last night, and now I’m going to miss the train! ”
Kei lifts his brows, finding a safe place in the armchair and watching the destruction unfold in their living room. “So… things are good with him, then?” Yamaguchi had been on a few dates with the aspiring model since Halloween, and Kei had heard him talking recently about officially seeing him. “Gonna introduce him to your family soon?”
“ You shut your ass! ” Tadashi yells. “ I’d say the same about you and Y/n, but your family already knows her! Didn’t she have a massive crush on Aki when we were kids?! ”
Kei flushes, scrubbing at his brow. “We’re not dating, Dashi,” He murmurs. “And, yes, she did. It was annoying.” Tadashi reenters the room at a high speed, flying down the stairs with clothes piled high in his arms. 
“You sure about that?”
“About the two years she was convinced she would marry my brother? Yes, I’m sure.”
“About you dating, dumbass.”
Kei sighs. “I know. I’m sure about that, too.”
“Doesn’t look that way to me or Kiyoko.” His roommate shrugs, reconsidering one of his shirts and tossing it on the couch.
“Yeah?” Kei laughs nervously. “How’s it look?”
“Looks like you’re madly in love with her, to be really honest-” Tadashi cuts off, seeing Kei pick up the throw pillow behind him. “ Don’t give me brain damage right now, please. I’m too busy.”
“I’m not in love with her,” Kei mumbles, setting the pillow in his lap.
“Dude, you’re obsessed with her.” Tadashi sits on his pile of clothes, shoving it into his suitcase with his ass. “You’d bottle her farts and smell them throughout the day if you could.”
“You’re really romantic, you know that? Lev into that kinda thing?” Kei says, growing frustrated. He knows he’s obsessed with you. He knows . He’d all but admitted it to you in bed this morning.
“Look,” Tadashi says, running into the bathroom and throwing literal bottles out the door and across the length of the living room. Kei watches, impressed, as he racks up a high success rate of getting them in his suitcase. “You’re staying at her place all the time, you only come home to get clothes-”
“And for our Tuesday nights!”
“-you fall asleep on the phone with her if you do sleep here-”
“Who told you that!”
“-and your face turns a really weird shade of red whenever I bring this up.” Tadashi points at him now. “Kinda like that.”
It is rather warm in here.
“Just think about it,” Tadashi continues, slamming his suitcase shut and zipping it up with shockingly minimal struggle. “You have all of Christmas Break. Kiyoko’s busy with Kyoutani, and I won’t be here, so you don’t need to come home at all.” He stands the suitcase up with a huff and then stares down at it with hands on his hips, proud of his work. “Kiyoko tells me Y/n’s also having a hard time.”
Kei perks up, following him to the foyer and watching him put his coat on. The words ‘ it’ll be you ’ float through his head, and it’s suddenly a lot warmer in here. “What’d she say?”
Yamaguchi eyes him. “Exactly what I just told you. That you two are acting like idiots who don’t know how to speak to each other.” He rolls his suitcase to the door. “Stop dancing around each other and make this official. Not labeling things is going to end up with one or both of you heartbroken.”
So you had talked to Kiyoko about this.
Yamaguchi leans in, squeezing Kei in a tight hug and then slapping him on the back. “Go get ‘em, Tiger-er. Frog.”
And then he’s gone, leaving Kei staring at the front door with a mumbled ‘ have a safe trip ’ echoing in the empty foyer.
Tsukki stays with you through Christmas. 
After that morning in your bed, you have an irrational worry that – when he goes home to say bye to Yamaguchi – he might never come back. You pace your apartment for an hour after he’s gone, eventually calling Kiyoko to freak out. You severely regret that decision, because she spends the better half of another hour laughing in your ear about how you’d almost fucked your best friend. She does calm down, eventually, and it’s to remind you that Tsukki’s never lied to you.
He’s never lied to you, and he’d told you he wasn’t mad at you, so you have to believe him. You have to believe him about everything , because that’s all he’s asking of you. 
So you hang up the phone, wishing Kiyoko ‘ good luck and good fucking��’ before she leaves for a date with Kyoutani, and you sit on the couch with the TV on. You stare at the screen and pretend to know what’s happening, only checking your phone sixteen times over the course of another few hours. And when there’s a knock at your door, you only pounce off the couch before catching yourself, managing not to run all the way to the door. 
And, God, are you glad that you did everything you could to remain calm. Because, when you open the door, Tsukki’s standing there holding dinner and looking through his duffel bag like he’s checking that he didn’t forget anything. He’s standing there, completely normal, like you hadn’t all but asked him to fuck you and then promptly rejected him only hours earlier. 
He just looks at you, hair dusted with snow and nose tipped red from the cold, and asks if you’re okay. Because you’re just standing there staring at him like it’s Christmas morning, not letting him in. You do let him in, and you eat dinner together, and then you go to bed together. And you’re scared that being in that bed with him again might be awkward, but he just climbs sleepily between your legs and falls asleep with his head on your chest. 
It doesn’t come up again until Christmas Day. 
— 
On Christmas morning, you wake to the conflicting smell of coffee and something burning. Sitting up, you look directly into the kitchen, seeing smoke and a towel waving through the air.
“What are you doing?” You gasp, rolling out of bed and rushing over to where Tsukki is coughing and waving his arms.
“My fucking best!” He sputters, fanning a hand in front of his face. “What does it look like?”
You round the bar, yanking the smoking pan off the stove and dumping its contents in the trash. You roll your eyes when he whines ‘ my beautiful breakfast’ somewhere behind you. “What were you trying to make?”
“Eggs,” He grumbles, and you can’t help but shoot him an amused grin.
“Finally, something the Great Tsukishima Kei absolutely sucks at.”
“I suck at most things that aren’t volleyball and school.”
“Well, thank God for that,” You snicker, throwing the pan back on the stove and turning to plant a kiss on his mouth. “If you’re gonna be good at something, I would hope it’d be your job .”
He grumbles briefly but just wraps his arms around your waist and follows you around the kitchen, severely interfering with your ability to cook an actual breakfast. 
“Speaking of my job…” He starts, his voice muffled in your shoulder. “I think they’re supposed to let me know soon about the contract.”
You turn in his arms, setting the carton of eggs down. “Really? When?”
“Dunno. But it’s the end of the year, so…” He looks indifferent about it, but you can see that he’s worried that they haven’t said anything so close to New Year’s Eve. 
“Okay. I’m sure they’re just finalizing things, that’s all.” You card your fingers through his hair and pull him in, kissing him gently. “Do you wanna go out tonight? For dinner?”
He smiles against your mouth. “You askin’ me on a Christmas date? So cliche, princess.”
There’s no amount of money in the world that could make you admit to him how fluttery those words make you. You just kiss him again, letting him back you into the counter.
“Maybe,” You mumble. “Pick a place. My treat.”
“You’re funny,” His mouth drops to your neck. “Thinking I’d ever let you pay for anything while I’m around.”
“You let me pay for coffee that one day,” You argue pointlessly, your breath short from the way he’s nibbling on your skin. 
“That’s because you’re a two-faced liar who hides the important things in a relationship.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” You coo jokingly. “Can I make it up to you?”
He groans, laughing after. “You know exactly how that sounded.”
“Yep,” You say, finally pushing him off of you and returning to the eggs on the counter. “Pick somewhere nice for dinner. It’s Christmas!” 
He grumbles through the morning, your giggles filling the rest of the air, and you exchange gifts after breakfast. You’d made him a photo album of all the most ridiculous pictures you’ve taken together over the last few months. He’d gotten you a necklace that he’d watched you ogle in the window every single time you’d passed by, always claiming that it was too expensive and that you didn’t need it, anyway. He helps you put it on – kissing down the curve of your neck and over your shoulders and whispering that you’re even prettier now – and you sit in his lap with the photo album open, trying your very hardest not to kiss him silly every time he laughs that bright, genuine laugh that always makes your heart beat harder.
Around dinnertime, you get ready, asking what kind of restaurant he’d picked and rolling your eyes when all he says is ‘ a nice one ’. You pull out your best dress – a floor-length, wine red little number – and then you watch as Tsukki loses all concentration, his tie dangling pathetically in his hands.
“Ready?” You say, stepping out of bathroom as you finish pinning your hair up. His eyes drag down the length of you, and then he shakes his head dumbly.
“Not even a little bit.”
You make fun of him all the way to his car, brushing your mouth over his in the elevator and watching with a smirk as he fights the urge to chase after you when you pull away.
The dinner goes perfectly – it’s an upscale spot that serves way too little food on plates that are way too big, but Tsukki holds your hand the whole time and looks at you like he’s never looked at you before. It makes you nervous, but he just smiles when you blush, mumbling that he likes that look on your face. You wonder what’s gotten into him, but you decide to let it go in favor of sharing a glass of wine with him and giggling when his face starts to flush from the alcohol.
He’s decently nice to the reporters outside the restaurant, either feeling relaxed from the drink or too busy pulling you away from Nariko, who you’re chatting up with a wine-tinted bubbliness that makes the other reporters scowl. She just squeezes your arm and tell you to have a merry Christmas, and Tsukki busies himself with leading you by the hand down to his car. You don’t see it, but you find out a few hours later on Twitter that he’d pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket and stuffed it in Nariko’s hand, telling her to go home to her family for the holidays. The pictures online had all shown Nariko’s awe-stricken face and the jealousy of much meaner reporters who’d never gotten the time of day from Tsukishima Kei.
He takes you to a pizza place down the street after leaving the restaurant, where you split a large supreme pizza and complain about how little food there was at the expensive place. You ask if they charge for air, and he jokes that they probably charge for smelling the food. You crack shitty jokes and fight over the last slice, and then you watch with thinly veiled affection as Tsukki signs the t-shirts of some young boys who’ve run over from the next booth over. He even gives them a small smile when they say he’s their favorite Frogs player, and then he gives you a large one when they turn to you and ask what it’s like to date someone famous.
‘ It’s a pretty sweet gig, ’ You tell them, leaning in conspiratorially. They lean in, too, eyes twinkling. ‘ I get to see a side of him that no one else does. Kind of like having a secret identity.’
They run off, claiming to their mother that Tsukki’s a superhero. Or a spy. They can’t decide.
Tsukki takes you home soon after, intertwining his fingers with yours and running his lips back and forth over your knuckles absentmindedly while he drives. When you get home, you change into sweats and take all your makeup off, realizing only then that Tsukki looks at you the same way even while you stand there in old, ratty clothes and mascara smeared under your eyes.
He just watches you, his eyes flicking away but always coming back, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“What’s with you, tonight, huh?” You finally say, curled up against his side. There’s some trashy movie on, but you can’t bring yourself to focus – not with him sliding his fingertips across the strip of skin that peeks out from under your shirt, over and over again until you start to shiver with each pass.
“Nothing,” He says, glancing down at you and then back at the TV. “Just… I dunno, it’s Christmas.”
You smile up at him, your eyes twinkling. “You’ve never been one for Christmas spirit , Kei.”
“Well, maybe I am now.” He rolls his eyes. “It’s nice to just spend it with you and do nothing else.”
“We spend every Christmas together,” You argue, smiling wider when he just squeezes you.
“‘s different,” He mumbles. You give up on bullying him, your heart warming and your skin prickling with happiness. It is different. Things are different. Every moment with him feels realer than the last, like you could do anything with him because you know it’ll be okay.
You look up at him, examining the way his lips start to tug up when he senses you watching him. Finally, his eyes drop to yours, honey-golden and warm, and you lean up to kiss him.
You barely manage to brush your lips to his when his phone rings in his pocket.
He leans back but keeps his eyes on your mouth while he extracts his phone, not looking at the Caller ID before lifting it to his ear.
“Hello?” He watches your mouth still, distracted.
And then he blinks, eyebrows furrowing as he looks away.
“Okay..?” He says, retracting his arm from your waist and standing slowly. Your heart starts to drop as you watch him pace the space between the couch and your bed. Who is he talking to? Is something wrong?
“Okay,” Tsukki says, blinking rapidly. “Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.” He sighs. “Yeah. That’s-Thank you.”
And then he hangs up, and you watch him stare down at his phone, eyes wide with disbelief.
“Tsukki…?” You whisper after a moment, officially worried. When he looks at you, though, you see it. 
The relief in his eyes.
“They’re signing me.” He stares. You stare back. And then his mouth breaks in a smile, and he looks you over. “They’re signing me, Y/n. They’re throwing an event on New Year’s Eve.”
“What?!” You jump over the back of the couch, launching yourself at him. He hoists you up and laughs, that beautiful, bright laugh that you can’t live without now. “Tsukki!” You wrap your legs around his waist, burying your face in his neck and squealing. 
“Holy shit,” He breathes, laughing in disbelief. “Holy shit, we did it.” And then, when you lift your head to smile down at him, he uses one hand to grab the back of your head and drag you in for a kiss. “ Fuck, we did it. You did that ,” He mumbles against you. “ Thank you. ”
You shake your head, dropping your legs and kissing him while he sets you down. “ You did that, Tsukki,” You say, turning and heading into the kitchen. “You’re amazing, you know that?” You search through cabinets, extracting two bottles of wine. You brandish them at him with a grin. “We have to celebrate!”
He looks between the two bottles, chewing on his bottom lip, but you see the smile peek through after a second. “Yeah… Yeah, I’d say both bottles are necessary.”
“To celebrate. Properly,” You justify.
His grin is wide now. “Properly.”
Celebrating properly ends up – somehow, some way – involving Tsukki’s lips on your throat and his fingers tangled in your hair. He smells like wine, and your head is swimming from him and the alcohol. 
You’re laid back on the couch, hair fanning out around you and legs wrapped around him. He’s got his other hand on your waist, inching higher and higher every few seconds and taking your shirt with it. 
“ Tsukki ,” You whisper, your fingers locked in his hair and your back arched until your chest presses to his. “ Please. ”
He groans against your throat. “ We can’t ,” He slurs, shaking his head. “‘r not ready-”
You whine, using your grip on his hair to pull his head back up. You kiss him heatedly, moaning when your shirt bunches up around your breasts, his fingers stalling there but sliding hesitantly under the hem.
“Doesn’t have to be-” Your breath stutters, because his hips are moving unconsciously against yours, and you can feel how hard he is. “Doesn’t have to be everything-”
He seems to like that answer, his kiss growing rushed. “Really? You sure?”
“Yeah-yes-” You nod furiously. “Please. Please. ”
He sighs roughly, pulling away from you and sitting up. You barely have time to breathe before you’re being lifted through the air and dragged into his lap. You gasp, your head spinning, as he turns you quickly in place. Your back slams against his chest, and his mouth drops to the junction of your throat. 
You reach up, carding your fingers through his hair. “Tsukki,” You sigh, feeling his heart beating against your back. He slides his arms around your waist.
“You’re sure?” He asks again, his voice low and humming through your skin. You nod, eyes half-closed and staring blankly at the movie that’d you’d lost track of a long time ago. You sigh in relief and close your eyes when he pushes his lips against your throat, the scene in front of you lost as you breathe him in.
With your eyes shut, you feel him more intensely. The warmth of his lips on your skin, the way his hands start to slide across your sides, your t-shirt falling over his wrists. He stops just below your breasts, nipping his teeth on your throat to get your attention.
“ Last chance ,” He whispers.
You arch your back, grinding your ass subtly back into him. You feel his cock twitch against it, and he bites down harder on your shoulder.
“Was that your answer?” He breathes, his hands growing more certain on your skin. 
“ God , Kei,” You laugh. “Do something before I do.”
You feel him smile before anything else.
He slides one hand back down around your waist, using his arm to anchor you to him. His other hand slides up, and you gasp, feeling his palm cup your breast.
“ Oh -” You arch your back again, your head falling back against his shoulder. You’d noticed how big his hands are over the months together, but you’d never really realized .
He keeps you flush to him while his fingers roam eagerly over your chest, the pads of his fingertips rough and calloused from volleyball. He kneads one breast, his palm as searing hot as the kisses he trails along your throat, and then he switches to the other. His fingers tweak and pluck at your nipples, teeth blunt on your shoulder and his other arm holding you tight as you start to wriggle and moan. 
You dig your hands into his thighs, the fabric of his sweats balled up in your fists. Your head swims, face warm and skin sweaty, and you loll your head back and forth on his shoulder. “Tsukki, please,” You moan, unconsciously spreading your thighs and pushing them against his. He notices, the hand on your waist squeezing once.
“Want more, princess?”
“Please, fuck-” You want to growl when he takes his hands off of you, but the brief disappointment is replaced with a distinct thumping of your heart when he hooks both hands under your knees and pries your thighs open, hanging your legs over the sides of his knees. You feel briefly vulnerable sitting like this, but he just slides his hand back under your shirt and continues to play with you.
“Comfortable?” He asks, his other hand toying with the waistband of your pants. You nod, your breathing growing heavy when his thumb slips under the band. “You sure?”
“Tsukishima, I swear-” You gasp, feeling him tug hard on your nipple. He snickers against your shoulder, whispering ‘ so easy ’ into your skin as he pushes his other hand past the band of your sweats. He doesn’t bother stopping there, fingertips slipping past your panties and finally pausing right over where you need him. 
“ Mm- ” You purse your lips hard to keep from moaning too loud. But your head fills with static and your stomach flips over itself again and again while he swipes teasing circles over your clit.
“C’mon, princess,” He breathes smugly into your ear, but you hear him swallow hard as his fingers dip lower and slide through your folds. “You’re not gonna let me hear you? After everything?”
His fingertips are hot against you, and you become suddenly aware of how much larger his fingers are than yours. You feel — horrified, truly — as you become wetter against his hand. Tsukki’s smile is wide against the shell of your ear. 
“What happened, baby?” He whispers, nudging the tip of his middle finger against your entrance. “If there’s something you want, you gotta ask for it.”
You just lift your hands to your face, hiding. Tsukki lifts his own hand away from you before coming down quickly, the slap sharp against your core. You yelp, hands flying to hold onto his arms and face burning as he soothes the pain by running his fingers through your folds. There’s a soft squelch that echoes in the room and makes him chuckle low against your head. 
“ I think your pretty little pussy likes me, princess ,” He whispers, the hand on your chest sliding up through the collar of your shirt and resting on the base of your throat. “ Better ask fast, before I lose interest. ”
You whine, your heart pounding against his hand. “Please, Tsukki…”
“Yeah?”
You tighten your hold on his arms, nervous. “Please finger me?”
“Aw,” He coos, laughing gently as he swipes more circles over your clit, still gentle. “That’s so sweet, baby. But you can do better.”
“What?” You whine, turning your head and burying your face in his neck. Your throat pushes further into his hand, and you feel yourself get impossibly wetter when he tightens his grip. 
“You can ask better than that,” He mumbles, and you feel his cock twitch against your back when you clench, his fingers sliding patiently back and forth.
“Uhm-” You shudder, because he’s switched to flicking his fingertips against your clit. “I-”
“ Come on, Y/n, ” He whispers against your head. He starts to tap his fingers, one and then the other. “ I’ll stop if you don’t ask soon.”
Your heart wrenches in your chest, and you shake your head. “Please don’t-”
“Then ask me-”
“I did- ”
“ Ask me, Y/n- ”
“ Please , Tsukki!” You yell, squeezing your eyes shut and trying not to think about how your voice bounces on the walls. “I need you to stuff your fingers in my cunt and fuck me before I lose my fucking mind -”
He groans loudly, drowning you out, but your voice cuts short anyway, because he’s sliding his middle two fingers down and pushing them roughly into you. 
“Oh, my- Tsukki- ” You gasp, his name ripped from your throat.
“ Fuck- ” He groans, sliding his fingers out and slamming them back into you. “ Y/n- ” 
You purse your lips to muffle yourself, wriggling and arching your back, your throat pressing into his hand. “Tsukki, fuck.”
“God, you’re so pretty, baby,” He whispers, his breathing rough and shallow. “You feel so good-” His chest heaves against your back, and your head fills with white noise, a ringing in your ears as you feel nothing except the way his fingers stretch you out, his palm slapping against your clit over and over again until you feel like your skin is on fire. “You’re doing so- so good with my fingers-“ He cuts off, moaning and pressing his face into your hair when you clench hard around his fingers. “ Fuck , Y/n-“
“Please,” You whimper, knowing how desperate you sound. “More, Tsukki, please-”
“Baby-“ He laughs, his voice strained. “I don’t know-”
“ Please , Tsukki. Please, I need you-“
He slams his hand into you, stopping long enough to take a deep breath. “Y/n, I don’t want you to do something you’re not ready f-”
“I’m ready!” You scream pathetically. “Please, I promise I’m ready, I need you so bad, Tsukki-” 
“Y/n-”
You know it’s only been a week since that morning on your bed. You know that he’s worried that you’re not thinking straight. But you also know that it’s him, that it’s always been him. That, above all else, he’s the one you need. That there will never be anyone else.
You think you might be in love with him.
And if that’s the case, then you’re really not seeing any reason to keep waiting. 
“Tsukishima Kei, I swear to fucking God – if you don’t fuck me, I will actually start sobbing.” Your voice is already starting to crack, and your chest is heaving in large gulps of air. He moans quietly in your ear, and you think he says something to the effect of ‘ Okay, baby. I got you’, but you can’t be sure. The ringing in your ears is too strong, worsened when he quickly slips his fingers out of you. You whine at the emptiness, the sound lost in the shuffle of Tsukki lifting you into his arms and standing from the couch.
He carries you to bed in two strides, lying you down much more gently than you’d expected. Climbing over you, he slides his shirt off and drops it to the floor in one smooth motion. Your heart jumps, and you eagerly sit up to do the same, barely catching the way his eyes widen as he takes you in. And then you lie back, clutching the sheets in both hands to fight the urge you have to cover your chest. But it seems like he might be enjoying what he’s seeing, because he just hooks his fingers distractedly into your sweats and panties, his eyes roaming your body. He pulls them both off and sends them somewhere off the edge of the bed without looking. 
“Shit,” He whispers, more to himself than anything. You shiver under his gaze, gathering the courage to let your thighs fall open. Cold air hits your skin, but you barely have time to whimper before his eyes are dropping. They go wide, and you watch all the air leave his lungs as he stares down at you. “ Shit ,” He says again, even quieter.
“Coming?” You breathe, reaching one hand along the sheet for him. His gaze flies to yours, golden eyes still stunned but recovering the moment he sees you looking up at him. Wordlessly, he drops down over you, his lips finding yours in a rush of heat and everything he’s not saying right now. You sigh against his mouth, holding his face and spreading your thighs further when you feel him reach down between you for his own pants. He pushes them down blindly and kicks them off into the distance, his mouth hot and his wine-laced tongue dancing along yours.
“Y/n,” He mumbles, and you tighten your hold on his face.
“If you ask me if I’m sure, I will finger myself in front of you and then kick you out.” 
His laugh is the prettiest thing you’ve ever heard. 
“Okay.” He nibbles on your lip and shifts his weight. You feel his cock brush along your thigh, precum smearing on your skin. “I hear you.” 
You will admit that you’re nervous. As he pulls his lips from yours and glances down between you with purpose, the head of his cock bumping up against your entrance, you’re struck with anticipation and a little bit of fear that this might hurt a lot, especially considering his size. But then, as he’s using his thumb to push the tip in as slowly as possibly, his eyes flick up to meet yours. 
And you remember just how sure you are. 
So, even though it does hurt — the sting causing you to grip the sheet hard enough to rip it — Tsukki’s eyes are flicking back and forth between your face and your core, his brow furrowed in concentration, and you feel impossibly safe. Because he would never do anything that might hurt you. 
You trust him.
“‘s this okay?” He grunts, sliding painstakingly slowly into you. You just nod, bottom lip caught between your teeth and eyes scrunched shut. He leans forward, pressing his lips to yours and forcing you to free your lip from its torture. “Y/n, if it hurts, we can stop. We don’t have to do this,” He whispers against you, but you only shake your head, whining.
“‘m okay, I promise. ‘s just new.” Your breath is shallow in your chest. “Maybe if I jus’…” You angle your hips up and spread your thighs just an inch wider, and you feel his sigh against your lips. The relief is instant for you, too, and your lungs fill with air. “Okay,” You breathe, prying your aching fingers from the sheets and stretching them. “Okay.” 
“Okay,” He whispers back, his hand finding your thigh and his fingers splaying across the underside. He sighs, the sound a half-groan as he bottoms out inside of you. “Fuck.” 
Your brow’s broken out in a sweat and your skin is flushed with heat, but when you open your eyes, Tsukki’s staring right back at you, gaze searching your face. You wonder what you look like, because you’re seeing awe in the way his eyes trace you.
“You okay?” His eyes track the embarrassed purse of your lips and the way you glance nervously down your body at the place where his hips meet yours. 
“Are you?” You ask breathlessly, watching his arms shake as he holds himself over you. 
“No,” He laughs. “This is torture.”
You beam up at him, your voice weak when you say, “You can move, Tsukki.” Your fingers find his shoulders, and he collapses onto his elbows, pressing his forehead to your chest. 
“Really? I don’t want to hurt you-”
“Are you this careful with every girl? I’m starting to get a little offended-”
“ You’re not every girl ,” He says simply, muffled against your skin. Your stomach flips, and you accidentally clench around him. The sound he makes is inhuman. “ Was that necessary? ” He complains pitifully into your chest. You giggle wholeheartedly, and he shakes his head against you. “ Don’t do that either- ” 
“Oh, my God, Tsukki – please just move ,” You laugh, snaking your arms around his neck and lifting his head toward you. He shifts, kissing you firmly and breathing a soft ‘ yes, ma’am ’ against your lips. 
He starts slow, slow as before. His hips pull back carefully, and then he rocks forward on his knees, bumping gently up against you when he bottoms out again. The sting is still there, but he distracts you by kissing you, his lips eager on yours and his quiet moans breathless and lost in your throat. He circles your clit gently with his thumb while he does, and you start to shiver against him. Eventually, the sting subsides, and the only notice you give him is the stretch of your thighs and the shallow cant of your hips upward to meet his. His kiss falters for a moment, and the hand on your thigh tightens in surprise, but he doesn’t ask any more questions.
When he snaps his hips a little roughly, you know he’s gotten the message. You focus on breathing while he rocks his hips, pursing your lips to keep from moaning too loud. He’s breathless over you, and you’re secretly amazed to see him like this — brow furrowed and lips parted, eyes flicking between yours and then shutting briefly before finding you again. You’ve never seen his expression so unguarded before. 
There’s a quiet sound that vibrates in his throat every time his hips meet yours, and you find yourself wanting to hear it properly. So you card your fingers through his hair and kiss him, whispering his name against his lips and rocking your hips up in time with his. You hear it then, clear and perfect.
“Oh- fuck- ” Tsukki groans loudly, his hand sliding urgently along the sheet in search of you. His fingers interlace with yours and latch on tight. “You feel so good-” He drops his head to your shoulder, lips hot on your throat. “God-” He laughs pathetically. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this much of a mess.” 
“Tsukki,” You whisper, feeling something below your navel twist and tug. “Tsukki-I’m- mm-” You wriggle, arching your back and wrapping your legs around his waist. “Please-”
“Are you close, princess?” His voice is teasing, but you can see in the way he lifts his head, eyes searching your face frantically, that he’s eager. When you nod, his face melts into a kind of affection you’ve never seen from him before. He smiles, eyes flicking down to your mouth, and nods. “Okay, baby. Close your eyes.” 
You whimper, doing as he says and immediately feeling him shift over you. His hand falls between you, fingers swiping ever so gently over your clit as his hips start to bump against yours with a little more force. You cry out, hearing the headboard slam against the wall over and over again. 
“ Tsukki! ” You cant bring yourself to care anymore how loud you are, your breath coming too fast now and your reservations slipping the moment you hear him moan your name. 
“You look so pretty, Y/n-so pretty like this.” He pants, his hips starting to stutter and his cock twitching inside you. The tugging in your navel worsens and peaks, and you moan his name again. He groans at the sound. “You take me so well- fuck . Feels like you were made for me.” 
You gasp, feeling yourself being pulled to the edge. “Tsukki, I’m-” You shudder, fluttering around him, and he starts to breathe hard against your skin. 
“Come on, baby. Let me feel you come around me.”
Your hands tighten on his hair, and you’re distantly aware of Tsukki pushing his lips to yours heatedly as you’re starting to scream. He swallows the sound, moaning as he spills into you, his hips faltering and then stopping against yours. 
You stay that way for an unknown amount of time, your heart beating in your throat, ears, core, and everything else while you come down. Tsukki kisses you with languor, his teeth nipping softly on your bottom lip as he sighs against you. You swallow thickly, whispering his name after a moment. 
“Hi,” He whispers back, slowly lifting his head. You scratch your nails on his scalp, and he blinks down at you sleepily. “You okay?” 
You giggle. “Guess we’ll see in the morning.” His lips pull into a small smile, eyes tracing your features. You kiss him once, mumbling ‘ should we clean up? ’ against his lips. 
He barks out a laugh, nodding. “Stay here.” He lifts off you slowly. “I’ll take care of you.”
You can’t find it in you to be shy about him seeing your body now, feeling all too safe and drifting quickly off to sleep, before he’s even back from the bathroom.
It’s still dark outside when you roll over, wincing as you stretch. You reach over for Tsukki, but your arm hits the bed instead. A noise of confusion leaves you, and you lift your head, blinking in the dark.
He’s sitting up in bed, the sheets pooled around his waist and his arms wrapped around his bent knees. 
“Tsukki?” You mumble. He doesn’t seem to hear you, so you sit up, realizing with a quick glance that you’re wearing the t-shirt he’d had on before and your panties. He must have cleaned you up and dressed you. “Tsukki,” You try again, touching his arm.
He starts, turning to look back at you. “Oh. Hi.”
That’s all he says. 
You pull your hand off of him, something unknown coming between you. “What’s wrong?” 
He just swallows hard and shakes his head, scooting toward you. “Nothing.” He puts his hand on your shoulder and tries to guide you back down, but you brush him off.
“Tsukki.”
He stares. You stare back. He looks away and runs his fingers through his hair roughly. 
“I don’t know if we should have done that,” is what he says. The words are whispered, but they echo in the silence. 
You think you might throw up. 
“What?” 
“I just-“ He sighs, running a hand down his face. “Don’t get me wrong, okay-”
“Then don’t say something wrong, Tsukki.”
“Y/n, we were drunk-”
Oh. 
You blink, scooting away from him slowly. You pull the blankets up to your chest, staring at nothing. He watches you, shaking his head. 
“Y/n, just let me talk please. Don’t overdo this-”
“Don’t overdo this?” You ask, eyes wide as they land on him. “I just lost my virginity to you, and you can’t even wait two hours before trying to make your escape.” 
“ No- “ He shakes his head, trying to move toward you, but you stick your foot out, stopping him. “Y/n, no. I’m just-I mean, we’re not even together-”
You flinch back at that. He sees it, and regret crosses his face. His mouth opens, but you cut him off.
“Were you dating every girl you’ve ever fucked?” 
“No, but-“ He laughs. “You’re not every girl. You know that.”
“No, I thought that,” You say, finally standing from the bed and backing away toward the couch. “But you’re treating me like I’m trash that you haven’t figured out how to throw out yet!” 
“No, I’m not!” He stands too, staying at the end of the bed. He seems to have realized you don’t want him near you. “I just wish we had done things right -” 
“I thought they were right!” You snap. “That felt right to me, Tsukishima.”
“You know what i mean -”
“What do you want?” You throw your hands out. “What are you trying to gain from doing this? Tell me.” 
“God, I’m just telling you what’s going through my head!” He tangles his fingers in his hair, tugging in frustration. “We aren’t together, and we were drunk, and I didn’t want this to be-” He shakes his head, and you get the feeling the rest of that sentence was important. But he’d stopped talking, which means he’s not willing to share it with you. So you just watch, refusing to push him for it, because you need to see what he does on his own. 
“I’m just confused,” He finally mumbles. “I don’t know where to go from here. This wasn’t right.” 
You stare, feeling tears prick at the back of your eyes. But you just start to laugh, even though your vision is getting blurry. 
“You’re confused? ” Your laughter is shallow, pained. “You always told me to stop getting in my head about this — about us — and now you’re the one who’s confused ?!” 
“We should have-”
“You told me to do whatever I feel is right-“ You snap. “-and now that I have, you’re confused ?” 
“We didn’t talk about any of this!” He yells, shaking his head. “We said we wouldn’t have sex, so we never talked about what this would mean-”
“Yeah! I figured maybe that part could wait until after!” You scoff. “You know, we could have just talked about what comes next in the morning , but you decided to be confused and overthink and ruin this.” 
He looks like he wants to argue, his face pinched with stress, but you just rub at your brow, breathing hard. You feel sick.
“This is why I wanted rules,” You mumble. “I knew this would happen.” 
He’s quiet for a moment, and then-
“You knew what would happen? That I would fuck this up?” 
You meet his eyes, angry. “That you wouldn’t be able to find a way to let me down easy. That you would let me fall for you, knowing you were just going to cut me off at the end.” 
He shakes his head. “That’s not what I was doing.”
“No?” You point at the bed. “But you were so quick to think of how cut me loose.” 
His brow furrows in irritation. “ Why do you always think the worst of me?”
“Because you couldn’t even wait one night!” You scream. “You couldn’t just be happy with me !” 
He steps toward you, and you see in the moonlight that his walls have gone up. “I was not trying to cut you loose. And I have never lied to you . But you’ve always been so fucking resistant to the idea that I could ever be telling the truth.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head, already turning away from you. “God forbid I tell you what’s on my mind and you actually take me seriously.” He meets your eyes evenly. “Maybe it’s you who’s looking for a way out.” 
The silence in the room is suffocating.
“Get out,” You finally say.
The door slams before you have time to process that he’s gone.
The tears finally spill, and your knees hit the floor just as the wailing starts. 
Kei throws the front door shut so hard that something falls off the wall in his foyer. He’s not sure what it is, but he’s tempted to start breaking more things. Thankfully, it’s late enough that no paparazzi were outside when he’d gotten here, or else it might have been someone’s camera on the ground again. Great way to celebrate his contract signing.
Yamaguchi wouldn’t appreciate coming home to a destroyed house, though, so he settles for stomping up the stairs hard enough that one of them creaks in a funny way when he lands on it. He slams the door to his room, too, and then he throws himself down on his bed and screams into his pillow.
He hadn’t meant to say it like that. He doesn’t know why he said it like that. He hadn’t meant to make it sound like a mistake. How could any of tonight have been a mistake with you? He just wishes he’d told you how he feels about you before things had gotten out of hand. He wishes you would have known how he feels about you while you were trusting him with your body like that. 
Because then, maybe, you would have known while you were taking your shirt off that you were safe. You would have known, while you were in pain for those few minutes, that he would never hurt you. That he was trying his best, that you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, that you would never have to pressure yourself to have sex because he would have been okay with stopping at any time. 
He wishes he would have told you he loves you.
Maybe then you would have known. 
But instead, you’d looked at him with betrayal in your eyes when he’d been stupid enough to stumble over his words. You’d taken him for all the things he’s always been, but never with you. You’d trusted him with everything, and then you’d closed yourself off in an instant, and he’d gotten frustrated because you wouldn’t hear him out. 
But how could he expect you to hear him out? How could he get mad that you’d retreated into your shell and locked him out? You’d only let him in for a minute, and he’d ruined it. 
He’s ruined this. 
Kei doesn’t remember the last time he cried, but he makes up for it now, his pillow soaked with tears by the time he finally drifts off to sleep. 
You spend the next day in bed, sobbing into Kiyoko’s shirt and ignoring the missed calls from Tsukki. And there are a lot of them. He calls back to back for an hour straight — Kiyoko finally has enough and answers for you, muttering ‘ the next time I see you, I’m going to curb stomp you until your teeth are gone ’ before silencing your phone and tossing it somewhere on the couch. 
You fall asleep sometime before the sun sets, Kiyoko’s fingers combing through your hair soothingly. You stir a few hours later and think you hear Kyoutani’s voice, soft and deep as he mumbles ‘ he wasn’t at practice today ’ and paces your floor quietly. You fall asleep again, your traitorous heart twitching as it realizes that Tsukki might not be okay, either.
The morning of the 27th, your eyes crack open, swollen and burning, to a knock at your door. You roll over, staring emptily at it, and then you climb out of bed, thinking it’s Kiyoko, and trudge to the door.
It’s not Kiyoko.
In his defense, his eyes are as red and swollen as yours feel. 
“Hi,” He croaks. You flinch at the sound of his voice. 
“What do you want?” You whisper. He’s holding a plastic bag from the store, and he holds it out weakly to you now. 
“I didn’t get to-” He swallows. “I should have taken care of you. After. I didn’t.” 
No. You didn’t.
You take the bag, peering inside. Some snacks, a pack of muscle patches, a couple electrolyte-replenishing drinks.
A box of Plan B, sitting at the bottom.
You stare at it emptily. “Who saw you buy this?” The last thing you need is the internet witnessing your heartbreak in real time.
“Management took care of it.”
You’re not sure you’re okay with them being involved, but it’s better than Tsukishima Kei being caught buying Plan B. 
You shut the bag, shoving it back at him. “Well, you can thank them for me, but I’ve actually been on birth control for years.” He blinks, taking it while staring dumbly down at you. You smile, your anger manifesting as cruelty. “So don’t worry about it, Tsukishima.” He doesn’t look so happy to hear his name used that way anymore. “I never intended to get pregnant and trap you in a loveless marriage for your fame and fortune.” 
His eyebrows furrow, and his frown cuts deep. “Y/n-”
You slam the door in his face. 
Kei doesn’t speak to you again until New Year’s Eve — until you literally have to speak to him, because he needs to text you about his contract signing.
His fingers shake while he sends it, letting you know that he’d be arriving to your place in a limo booked by the Frogs at 6pm, and then he sends you a picture of his ties, in case you want to match. You don’t respond, so he just picks the black one.
He’s terrified that you’ll decide not to go. Terrified. 
But even when you send him a thumbs up (still not responding about the ties), he doesn’t feel less terrified. He just sits at the edge of his bed and stares down at his phone, his heart ripping in his chest as he scrolls through your previous messages from the last few months. All of that — all of your excited texts and flirty memes, all of his thinly veiled affection. All siphoned down to nothing in a matter of days. 
He gets ready with trembling fingers, his eyes pricking with tears and then drying up as he shakes his head and blinks away every regret he’s ever had. He sits in the limo in anxious silence, watching it pull into your apartment, the lights flashing on the cameras outside. 
And then he wipes his eyes and draws his shoulders back, because, while the world inside has been falling apart under his fingertips, the world outside has been going crazy over the news of Tsukishima Kei going pro. 
He exits the limo and bows to a few reporters, waving politely as he waits for you. He doesn’t answer any questions, mostly because he doesn’t want anyone to get too close and see that he’s not okay. But then you come out of your apartment in a black ball gown that makes his heart wrench, and he has to fight tears again. 
You smile wide at him, your eyes crinkling and your face glowing as you walk down the steps to meet him.
“You that stunned to see me?” You ask, loud enough to be heard by the paparazzi. They laugh, and you laugh with them as you step up to him. Then you lift onto your tiptoes and press your lips to his in greeting, and he has to remember to close his eyes and act like everything’s fine, even though the feeling your lips on his makes him want to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness. 
You pull away and turn to the cameras, waving quickly before ducking through the door he’s holding open. He waves, too, and follows you, the camera shutters loud behind him.
The inside of the limo is dead silent. 
You sit on the other side of the car, staring out the window as the driver pulls out to the street. Any evidence that you’d just smiled at him like he’s your world is gone. Kei just looks at you, every nerve in his body fighting to find something to say. 
Finally, after five torturous minutes, he swallows. “Y/n.”
“Don’t.” You don’t bother meeting his eyes when you speak. “Let’s just get through this. In the morning, we can ask Management how to break up without making you look bad.” 
His heart drops to the ground. “I don’t want to break up.”
You meet his eyes now. “I do.”
“No, you don’t.” He refuses to believe this.
“How would you know?”
He doesn’t. He doesn’t know. That’s why this terrifies him. 
“We’re not breaking up,” He croaks finally. 
You turn back to the window. “Let’s just get through this.” 
The ride to the Frogs’ gym is filled with a silence that certainly feels like he’s been dumped. 
“-ations to Tsukishima Kei for this amazing step into professional volleyball, and we welcome him with open arms to what’s certain to be a long and fruitful career.” 
Kei stands from his seat in the audience, shaking his coach’s hand firmly and bowing at the waist. The Frogs have opened the doors of their in-house conference venue – which is just a large ballroom – the back half filled with round tables and the front lined with a couple rows of chairs for the reporters. The room is capped on the far end by a podium, where his coach has just finished speaking, and a long table. There’s a chair labeled with his name there, in the center of the table, and there’s a stack of papers for him to sign. 
He moves there now, glancing up at the front row and finding you staring back. Your face is masked into a perfect smile, and your expression is filled with love and support as you watch him take a seat at a table filled with his coach, manager, captain, and a brand sponsor. 
But then you meet his eyes, and he can see how empty they are. 
He looks down at his papers, adjusting his tie nervously. The camera flashes are making him warm, and he can’t really hear what’s being said, so he follows his coach’s lead and turns pages when necessary and signs on dotted lines, again and again and again. He’s already read the terms of his employment — they’d emailed him the hundred-page document three days ago so that he could read it and negotiate benefits before the day of the signing. That’s the only reason he’s not more nervous about this moment. He just has to flip pages and sign whatever his coach points to.
The whole process only takes five minutes, cameras flashing away over his bent head. Before he knows it, he’s standing and shaking his coach’s hand again, and then he’s being hugged by his manager and captain and taking a photo with his brand sponsor. 
And then he looks at you, still sitting in the front row as reporters start to stand and approach him. 
It’s almost worse that your eyes are filled with genuine warmth this time. 
He answers a couple questions, but his eyes keep flicking back to you distractedly, and finally a voice speaks from the back – feminine and familiar and belonging to a reporter donning the Sendai Sports lanyard. 
“I think maybe Tsukishima would enjoy a moment alone with his girlfriend — We could move to the reception tables and continue our conversations there, perhaps?” 
Kei grabs his manager by the sleeve as the crowd is clearing and asks if it’s possible for the Frogs to hire Nariko as his PR rep. His manager looks up at him with surprise and says he’ll speak with her. 
When Kei turns again, you’re there. His heart jumps, and he slips his arm around your waist by habit, trying not to react visibly when you tense against him. 
“You asked to hire Nariko?” You say, setting a careful hand on his bicep. “That would set her up for life.”
“I know,” is all he says. Your eyes flicker with appreciation, and you step close to wrap your arms around his neck. He hugs you as tight as he can without making it obvious that he hasn’t seen you in days. 
“Congratulations,” You whisper in his ear. “I’m proud of you.”
A lump grows in his throat. “Thanks.” You dont respond, and he squeezes you, because he can feel you slipping away. “I’m sorry,” He breathes. 
“I can’t,” You say, stepping away. “It’s too late-”
“It’s not .” He’s starting to get desperate, the thought of you closing off to him forever pure torture. “It’s not too late-”
“Stop brushing off what I said.” Your brow furrows with annoyance, and his frustration bubbles for a moment too long.
“Why? You do it all the time.” He dips his head quickly so that the cameras don’t see the tension in his face, and he’s thankful your back is to them, because you’re outright frowning now.
“Let’s just get through this.”
“Would you please stop saying that?”
You sigh quietly, stepping close and running your hands over his shoulders in a way that appears affectionate to anyone watching. “Fix your face, Kei. I don’t want to talk about this now. Let’s just enjoy the evening, because you deserve to be appreciated for everything you’ve put into this.” 
He’s amazed at your ability to think of him, even now. 
“You put so much into this, too,” He whispers. You just smile bitterly.
“Yeah. And look where that got me.” 
He watches you paint a loving smile on your face as you take his hand and lead him toward the reception table occupied by his teammates and Management. He does his best to pretend, even though he feels like he’s losing a piece of his soul.
You lean forward on the counter, staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror.
It’s amazing that you’ve been able to keep it together all night. You’ve clung to his arm and followed him around the room, talking to his teammates, to Management, to any reporters who had questions for you. You’ve spoken with a smile and a laugh and a twinkle in your eye, and you’ve done your best to hide how much it hurts to be close to him. 
To the smell of him, clean and warm and filled with home . To the feel of him, secure and safe as he holds your waist and kisses your cheek appropriately. To the sight of him, perfect and golden and made of everything you’d fallen in love with.
It makes you sick, looking yourself in the eye and knowing you’d been lying the whole night. Especially with Kyoutani watching you like a hawk, eyes full of blatant concern. And with various members of Management quietly asking if you’re feeling okay, if there’s ‘ anything else ’ you need.
You shake it off, drying your hands and fixing your hair with a quiet sigh. Only a little more, and you can retreat to your dark cave of wallowing.
Straightening your back, you smile at yourself in the mirror and turn, leaving the bathroom and making your way down the hallway back to the reception room. 
You hear him before you see him.
“ -the fuck did you say to me? ”
No. No way. He wouldnt.
There’s nervous laughter that follows, and you speed up to get to him before he says something else. 
“ I’m just saying- ” You don’t know the voice well, but you think it belongs to one of the only super young reporters at the event today. “ -now that you’re officially pro, you might consider transitioning into a relationship that’s a bit more…. suited to your new lifestyle. ” 
You stop short, just shy of the corner.
“Someone a bit more pleasing to the public, if you will,” The man finishes, and you stare down at nothing. You struggle to recover, too many wounds opened too soon, one after another. But you know Tsukki can’t pick a fight, not here. So you lift your head and resume your trudge to the end of the hall, only to find Nariko staring back at you. 
She looks angry, and her eyes flick away from yours to stomp just out of view. Just as Tsukki’s starting to respond.
“Would the public find it pleasing if I were to beat your ass for talking about my girlfri-”
“Tsukishima,” Nariko cuts in. “It’s great to get some one-on-one time with you.” You hear the other reporter gasp and stumble, and you’re guessing Nariko’s pushed him out of the way. 
Tsukki sighs at her. “Thanks for th-” 
He suddenly appears in your eyeline, stumbling back a few feet, and you realize that she’s pushed him, too. You’re a bit impressed.
He looks affronted for a moment, but then your presence catches his eye, and he turns to you with wide eyes.
“Y/n-”
“As your new PR rep, Tsukishima-” Nariko says, stepping around the corner to face the both of you and create a bit of privacy. She winks at you when she calls herself by that title. “-I’d recommend not getting into a fight at a contract signing that only happened because you stopped getting into fights.” 
Tsukki has the decency to look ashamed, and you nearly hug Nariko. But she just looks between you before glancing over her shoulder. 
“You know… No one will notice if you’re gone for ten minutes.”
You don’t wait for any other signal, only wrapping a hand around Tsukki’s wrist and dragging him all the way down the hall to a storage closet. You throw him in and slam the door, whirling on him.
“Are you fucking insane?”
He points out the door, jaw slack in shock. “You heard what he said to me!” 
“Are you lacking self-control in every way?!” You throw your hands out. “This is your day , and you come that close to ruining it?”
His jaw clenches and unclenches as he stares at you, his eyes flicking between yours. “I won’t let people talk to me like that. Not about you.”
You stare back. “I won’t let you put everything on the line for me. You can’t ruin your own life for something stupid-”
“This isn’t stupid !” He explodes. “Everything before you was stupid!” He starts to pace. “I had a shit temper, and it was easy to bait me into a fight, and I would end up in the tabloids for the dumbest shit . And you helped me! You fixed me, just like I asked you to! I’m not the same guy I was before, Y/n. But this -” He points out the door. “ You ? I can’t do it.”
You breathe hard, shaking your head. “Then let’s end this.” When his eyes only widen, you swallow. “Let’s end this now. If I’m this much of a weakness for you, let’s make them stop talking about me. We got what you needed – I fixed you, like I said I would. Your contract’s secured. You can go back to dating girls that all look the same, and we can take some time apart so I can get over you, and-” You’d started to pull the door open, but Tsukki crosses the room in two strides and slams it shut again, his hand flat on the wood.
“Y/n.” His eyes are sharp, but you can see the fear in them. “I need you to stop running from me.”
“Then stop making me run.” You reach for the door again, but he won’t budge. You stamp your foot in frustration. “Tsukki! I’m doing everything I can to preserve this friendship, but I can’t keep doing this !”
“You’re not doing everything! All you have to do is fucking listen to me -” 
You back away from him into the room, shaking your head. “Why, Tsukki? So I can listen to you tell me that night was a mistake? That you ‘ never meant for it to get that far ’, that you ‘ wish things had been different ’? Well, so do I!” You yell. “I wish things had been different, too! I wish I would have known what you would do to me, so that I wouldn’t be stupid enough to go fall in love with someone who doesn’t love me back- ”
“ I do love you back!” He yells, strong and loud and full of anger. Your head snaps up, eyes finding his. His gaze is furious and hurt, and you can’t say you’ve ever seen him look at you like that before. It makes your heart ache and your chest tighten, the way his lip wobbles once before he clenches his jaw and fixes it. 
“...What?” You finally say, your breath caught in your throat.
“I love you back. You stupid fucking girl.” He sounds tired. Exhausted, really.
You stare. “That was rude,” You whisper weakly. He just laughs, but it sounds like he’s near tears. He hasn’t sounded like that since high school, since that fight on your doorstep. 
“Sorry, but that’s what you get with me.” He reaches for the doorknob, opening it an inch. “So now’s your time to back out.”
You stay right where you are. “Or what?”
The silence that follows seems to go on forever.
His eyes search yours, and the sliver of hope you see kills you. “What?”
“Or what, Tsukki? What do I get if I stay?”
He stares, unmoving. “You get me.”
You think you might cry.
You move to the door, watching the fight leave his eyes when he realizes you’re leaving. But you just put your hand on the door, nudging it shut. It clicks, and he stares down at you, confused.
“How long?” You ask.
His eyes flick between yours a moment as he processes your question. “I think it’s probably telling that I wanted you to be my fake girlfriend at all, Y/n.”
You blink, realization hitting you. “Did you know? This whole time?”
“No,” He laughs pathetically. “And Yamaguchi’s never going to let me live it down.”
“Why did you call that night a mistake?” You need to know, even if you’re not sure you want to hear the reason. It’s been killing you.
“I didn’t-” He sighs, rubbing at his brow. “I didn’t say it was a mistake. I said I wish I had done it right.” He meets your eyes, his own so close and golden and honest. You’d missed them. “I wanted to tell you I loved you first. Because I didn’t want you to worry that it was just a hookup.”
You hadn’t realized that his answer would drain you of all your energy. You slump, letting out an exhausted sigh. “And you couldn’t just say that?”
“Well, you couldn’t just listen .” He rolls his eyes, and you see a twinge of irritation in his brow. You laugh softly, and it worsens. “You think that’s funny, huh?” He says, staring down at you. “This could have all been avoided if you’d just heard me out, but you like to act insane.”
“And you like to say the worst things at the worst times!” You argue, half-laughing and half-angry. “Why couldn’t you wait until the morning? Why did I have to wake up and find you contemplating your whole life in the dark?”
“Because I felt guilty!” He snaps, and you’re taken aback, a little offended. He’d felt guilty for sleeping with you? “Because I was terrified I had ruined your first time by not doing it right and making this official between us beforehand. I hadn’t wanted you to be self-conscious the first time.” 
You find it in you to be a little appreciative of that. That he had wanted you to know how sure he was, that you were safe with him no matter what.
And also-” He rolls his eyes. “Not for nothing, but we were drunk, and I couldn’t tell if I was too rough, and I really hadn’t wanted to hurt you -”
It seems your moment of appreciation is over.
“ Why do you keep treating me like I’m fragile?” You bite. “You kept asking, over and over again, if I was okay. If I was sure I wanted to keep going. You were so careful with me, Tsukki – Get over yourself! I’m not going to break!”
He just stares. You realize what you’ve said. You remember who you’re talking to.
“Not gonna break, huh?” He mumbles, eyes flicking down to your lips. He seems like he wants to say something else, but he holds back. 
You don’t.
“Yeah. Want me to prove it?”
You watch in real time as his eyes fill with understanding. 
“Are you sure you’re okay with it?” He says, eyes flicking between yours. You start to argue, because he’s doing it again , but he cuts you short. “With me? So soon?”
Oh. 
He must not realize how badly you’ve missed him. How much it’s hitting you, now that you understand what had gone wrong between you. That you’d been stupid. That he’d been stupid.
Would it be wrong to rile him up? Probably.
“Why, Tsukki? You got a lot to take out on me?” His eyes flicker dangerously, and you take a single step closer, craning your neck back to look at him. “You got your work cut out for you. Apparently, I’m not good at listening.”
His resolve goes out the window, and he dips his head low, lips brushing yours. Your soul aches for him. 
“ I can make you good at listening. ”
You smile. “ Well, you’re not gonna do it by being gentle. ”
He drags you out the door before you can even process that it’s been opened. He pulls you down the hall toward the back entrance of the conference venue, and you laugh, glancing back toward the main room.
“People are gonna notice that you’re gone, Tsukki-”
“I’ll make it up to them.” He hauls you outside, all but carrying you down the steps to the limo. There are no reporters out here, probably because they’re all inside, so it’s no issue for him to quite literally toss you into the back of the limo with reckless abandon. Your hands find him before he’s got the door all the way closed.
And then his mouth is on yours, and you feel all the things that had fallen out of place finally align again. His lips are warm and urgent, and your fingers are tight in his hair. He knocks blindly on the window separating the back from the driver’s side of the limo, and the car starts to move just as he’s pushing you down on the seat. You topple back, and Tsukki climbs over you, his mouth attaching to your throat.
“ Tsukki ,” You breathe, relief filling your lungs. He groans quietly, hands sliding your dress up your legs and over your thighs. 
“ Fuck, I missed you ,” He mumbles into your skin. “This is real, right? Not a dream?”
You giggle, your chest pressing up into his, and you feel him smile wide against you. “You saying this isn’t a dream come true, Tsukishima? I can leave, if you want-”
“God, I can’t wait to fuck that attitude out of you,” He says, spreading your thighs and slotting himself between them. “How has your mouth not gotten you in trouble yet?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to do something about it,” You say, shrugging. “Might be too late, now. I’m getting pretty good at it.”
“Don’t complain when I break you,” He whispers before biting down hard on your shoulder. You moan loudly, slapping a hand over your mouth in embarrassment because the driver of this limo does not need to hear that. Tsukki laughs against you. 
“You asked me not to be gentle. Are you regretting it?” 
You shake your head furiously. Your stomach flips over and over on itself, and there’s that warm buzzing filling your skin that you’ve come to associate with him. 
“No?” He whispers. “You like it?” 
“ Mm- “ You wriggle under him, your dress sliding up as you push yourself against him. “Yeah-yes. Mhm .” 
His hold on your hips tightens. “Lucky me,” He responds, a little breathless. He uses his grip to drag you down the leather seat a little more, forcing your thighs open so he can press his hips against you. You moan quietly in his ear, feeling him against your core, already half-hard.
“Need you, Tsukki.”
“Yeah? Am I supposed to give it to you just because of that?” 
You get the feeling this night won’t be easy on your pride, but that’s okay. You think you might be desperate enough by the time you get home. 
“I suppose that wouldn’t be fair,” You whisper, and he snickers against your skin. 
“No, I don’t think it would. You’ve got a lot to make up to me.”
“How do you want me to make it up to you?”
“Patience, sweetheart,” He murmurs. “I don’t plan to do anything until I have you in my bed.”
You whine, but you can also feel the limo starting to make the slow turn into Tsukki’s driveway. He sits you up, watching you fix your dress and smiling when your cheeks flush at the state of yourself. Your skin is hot, and your thighs tremble a little, and your hair’s come undone. And yet, Tsukki looks perfectly put together. 
You hide behind your hair as he helps you out of the limo and walks you to the door. Lights flash behind you, and you hear one of the reporters mumble ‘ I didn’t realize the event ended ’ to the person beside him. Tsukki starts laughing the moment his front door closes, and you groan loudly while trudging toward the stairs.
“They’re gonna know , Tsukki.” 
“You embarrassed?”
“Yes! Of course I am-” Before you can turn to him, you’re air-lifted over his shoulder. You start to scream, flailing while he takes the stairs to his room.
“Good. Then I want them to know.” He sets you on your feet by his bed, and you huff, fixing your dress.
You look around while he closes the door. You haven’t been here in ages, all of your time with him spent at your place. You turn slowly, taking in the familiar sight of his room. It’s so different being here, after all this time.
You’re so distracted by his room that you aren’t prepared for the fingers he puts on your forearm or the way he spins you toward him. 
You’re equally unprepared for the hand he plants on your shoulder before shoving you hard. You yelp, falling flat on your back and bouncing on his mattress. By the time you find his eyes, he’s standing over you, loosening his tie. 
His eyes are cold. “What do you want to apologize for first?”
“What?” You say dumbly, watching the tie come loose. His jacket goes next, and then his white dress-shirt.
“Which one, Y/n? Listening to too many people on the internet? Not believing me when I’d flirt with you?” He leans over you, his hands flat on the bed on either side of you. “Or not hearing me out that night? Causing this whole mess.”
“I didn’t cause that alone,” You argue, and his eyebrows lift with humor. 
“You’re still talking back?” He stands, reaching for the button on his pants. “Guess we’ll start here then.”
“Gonna put my mouth to use?” You joke, but there’s a rush of heat that, funnily enough, soaks your panties right through. You stare down at his hands, watching the zipper slide down and feeling your mouth water a little bit. 
“You ever done this before?” He mumbles, eyes trailing down your body hungrily as he hooks a thumb into the waistband of his boxers. You nod quickly, but he just raises a brow and lifts his other hand, still holding the black tie. “Like this?”
You stare, your heart thumping with excitement. “No,” You breathe. “Can’t say I have.”
He smirks down at you, beckoning you to him with two fingers. “On your knees.”
You scramble to kick your heels off and get into position at the end of the mattress. He stands over you and holds one hand out, looking down at you in amusement when you put both wrists in his hand. 
“You’re a bit eager.” When you nod, he just drops your wrists.
Your heart drops a little. “Wha-” You gasp, because he’s sliding the tie over your eyes and knotting it in the back, whispering ‘ So close, sweetheart ’ in your ear. You moan, your thighs sliding open on the bed.
“Pinch me if something doesn’t feel right,” He murmurs distractedly, and you hear the shuffle of his pants on his skin. “ Hard, Y/n. You hear me?”
“ Mhm . Pinch,” You say, panting slightly. When he laughs, your panties start to stick to your skin.
“God, you want this so badly, don’t you?” The tip of his cock touches your lips, and you dart your tongue out right away, swirling it around the head. Tsukki sighs heatedly over you, and then his fingers tangle in your hair. “My own personal little whore.” 
You groan, trying to take him in your mouth, but he uses his grip to hold you back. 
“Say please.”
Your stomach flips hard, because you know ‘ please’ wouldn’t be enough.
“Please, Tsukki,” You whisper. “Make me your whore.”
He inhales sharply, and you decide right there that you want to hear him fall apart. When he touches your lips again and tightens his grip, you know you have no control here. So you just let your mouth fall open.
The first time he slides into your mouth, his cock hits the back of your throat, and you gag.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He chuckles. “Thought you wanted it rough.” You recover as quickly as you can, breathing deep through your nose and sucking hard when he pulls back. He groans under his breath and thrusts his hips again, humming when you take him properly. “ That’s it, Y/n. ” He pulls you off of him for a moment, and you whine quietly. “Can you keep taking it like that?”
“Stop-” You croak, breathing heavily. “- fucking asking , Tsukishima.”
There’s silence over you, and then he yanks your head back, talking right over the yelp you let out. “If you say so.”
You get no more chances to recover, your breath sputtered and coughed around him as he sets a pace that stings. You moan loudly while he fucks your throat, drool pooling at the corners of your mouth and falling to your chest. Your fingers twitch on his thighs, and, after a few moments listening to the soft groans he lets out over you, one of your hands moves down to your thigh and slides to your core. You barely get two fingers on your clit when his voice bites out.
“ Don’t -” He snaps. “- even think about it .” 
You whine around him, earning a particularly hard thrust that slams against the back of your throat. You latch onto his thighs again, digging your nails in.
“Not so mouthy now, huh?” He pants. “Not so fucking annoying. No choice but to listen.” You nod shallowly, unhinging your jaw a little more, until it hurts. He moans quietly. “Maybe you’ll listen when I tell you how pretty you look like this, baby. So fucking pretty, drooling all over my cock.”
Your whine is loud this time, and he laughs breathily. “You like that? Didn’t know you were into this, sweetheart – good to know.”
And then he pulls you right off him, your gasps echoing in his room. You cough, your chest heaving, but he doesn’t give you more time than that, his hands on your shoulders again. You’re less shocked when you’re shoved onto your back, and you’re too busy catching your breath to do much more than moan when he takes your ankles and drags you to the edge of the bed.
Tsukki hooks his fingers into your panties and rips them down your thighs, laughing cruelly. “Aw, look at you. You’re a mess just from that?”
You dig your fingers into his comforter, still blindfolded. “You’re an ass- mm! ”
Tsukishima Kei’s just stuffed your own soiled panties in your mouth.
“Still talking too much,” He mutters, and you hear something hit the floor. You only realize it’s his knees when his fingers grip your thighs hard enough to bruise and his tongue flattens over your clit.
You scream, muffled, and arch your back on the mattress. Your fingers fly into his hair just as he’s dragging his tongue over your folds a second time, but he pulls away. He bites down hard on your thigh, ignoring the jolt of your body. 
“I didn’t say you could touch me.” Your fingers cling to the covers again, and it takes everything in you not to grab him when he spits hard on your clit. “Better.” 
He eats you out like that, his face buried between your thighs as you scream and moan and nearly make your fingers go numb from how hard you fist the blankets. You have no clue how long it’s been or when it had happened, but you realize eventually that he’s slipped two fingers into you, curling and spreading them against spots you didn’t even know existed. Your body twitches when he pushes up against your g-spot, and you grind your hips up toward his mouth unconsciously.
You pay for it immediately, his mouth and fingers leaving you. You start to complain, but it’s turned into a scream when his hand comes down hard on your overly sensitive clit. 
“I really do have my work cut out for me, huh?” He pants, breathless and raspy. “You’re a lot of work, sweetheart.” Your eyes prickle with tears, and you shake your head hard. He huffs out a laugh, breath cold on your heated core. “No? You’re not a lot of work?” When you shake your head again, he coos at you condescendingly. “You promise to be good?” You nod, and he laughs again. “Okay, then. Spread your legs for me.”
You peel your aching fingers off of the blankets and hook them around your thighs, spreading your legs and pressing your knees toward your chest until it starts to hurt. You hear Tsukki’s pants hit the floor, and he groans openly down at you.
“God, you look so good like this,” He mutters under his breath. “Can I take a picture?” 
Your heart jumps. You’d always thought you would never be comfortable with something like that, but the thought of Tsukki having a picture of you on his phone – a picture of you looking like this – has you clenching hard around nothing. You nod firmly, unconsciously pulling your thighs open even further.
He lets out a surprised breath, and then you hear him scrambling for his pants on the floor. “ Fuck- ” He hisses, throwing things around, and you hear the thump of his phone hitting the rug under his desk. “ Fuck, fuck- ” You start to giggle, the sound muffled but still audible. “Don’t fucking laugh at me, you fucking asshole – I wasn’t expecting you to say yes-”
Your laugh is loud now, but when you hear him stumble back over to you and feel his hand on the underside of your thigh, your stomach flips and your breath cuts short. The camera shutter goes off, and goosebumps break out over your skin, a soft moan leaving you. 
“You’re into this too, sweetheart?” He asks, laughing to himself. His phone hits the bed somewhere beside you. “You like when I take pictures of you?” You nod, your face flushing hard, but he slides his cock through your folds before you have time to be embarrassed. You moan, feeling the tip bump up against your clit with each shallow thrust. “Maybe one day we can film it.”
You moan wantonly, and his own moan joins yours as he sinks into you in one slow thrust. Your breath leaves your lungs as he pulls back and slams his hips into yours. “You took me all at once, baby,” He groans, anchoring himself to your hips. “You must have missed me.”
You nod desperately, and you feel his weight drop over you on the mattress. His fingers hook gently into the blindfold, despite how roughly his hips collide with yours, and he tugs the material up to your forehead. You blink rapidly, squinting when the light hits your eyes and trying to readjust while Tsukki drives his cock into you.
When you finally do gain your bearings, the first thing you find is him. Your eyes lock with his, and your own widen drastically as you take him in. His face is flushed, a sheen of sweat glinting off his skin. His eyebrows are furrowed with concentration, and his arms are flexed as he drags you down to meet him halfway with each thrust.
Your eyes roll back into your head almost immediately, the sight too much to handle while he fucks you. Your moans come out louder now, and – although you’re still muffled – you’re infinitely glad you’re not doing this at your apartment, surrounded by thin walls and neighbors. Here, you can moan as loud as you want. Here, you don’t have to care about the way his headboard slams against the wall. Here, you can arch your back and scream his name, over and over again around your panties.
He hears it the third time it comes out, the syllables of his name garbled but clearly his. His expression changes, those furrowed brows creasing even more and his lips parting as he lets out a series of quiet moans every time he hears his own name.
“ Fuck, ” He says, letting your waist go and dropping down hard over you, his hands hitting the bed on either side of you. “ Fuck , Y/n. I love you-” Your vision gets blurry, and your eyes burn, but you only notice you’re crying when the tears stream down toward your ears. “Listen to you, screaming my name like that,” He pants, his hips stuttering for a moment. The realization that he’s close to finishing sends you hurtling toward your own orgasm. “So fucking perfect. Fucking perfect for me.”
His fingers dig into the material in your mouth, and he pries it out, tossing the panties somewhere behind him. Your jaw aches, but you forget it when he meets your eyes. 
“Say it for me, sweetheart.”
“Tsukki-” You cry. “ Please, Tsukki- ” Your fingers itch to touch him. “Please, I love you – Can I-” You start to cry harder, your vision gone completely as you sob, the feeling of him slamming into you too much now. 
“Yes, baby, yes-” His breath hitches when you clench around him, and he nods tightly. “You can touch me-”
Your fingers fly into his hair, and you drag him down roughly, smashing your lips to his. You both moan, and you ramble deliriously against his mouth. “ Love you, I love you, I- ”
He shudders over you, groaning as he stills with his hips pressed tight to yours. He spills into you, his body shaking against yours as he fills you. The feeling of it throws you right off the edge, and you cry against his lips while you come, your back twitching and arching toward his. 
He’s collapsed onto you by the time you’re done, breathing hard in your ear. “ Fuck , Y/n,” He sighs. You wrap your legs tiredly around his waist, exhaustion taking you over.
“How did we do all that with my dress still on?” You whisper weakly, too tired to even smile when he starts to laugh.
“God, I love you. You’re so fucking stupid.”
That one does make you laugh. You feed off of each other, worsening until you’re both wheezing together. 
Finally, he buries his face in your neck, sighing. “I’m sorry.”
Your heart lurches. “For?”
“Everything,” he says. “ Everything, Y/n. For saying the opposite of what I meant. For not saying the things I wanted to.” 
You say nothing, just wrapping your arms tight around his neck. “I’m sorry, too. For not listening to the right person. And for thinking the worst of you just because I was scared.”
He stays quiet a moment, just breathing you in. “Does that mean you aren’t breaking up with me?”
You chew on your lip, suddenly nervous. “Does that mean we’re together?”
“I don’t think any of this was ever fake for me.”
You bring his face up to yours, kissing him deeply. “I don’t think it was for me, either,” You whisper against his lips. He smiles, pulling back to look down at you.
“Can I still ask you to be my girlfriend? My real girlfriend?”
You stare up at him a moment, and then your brow furrows. “I don’t think you ever asked me to be your girlfriend at all.”
He blanches. 
“Oh, fuck.”
You remind him of it for the rest of his life. 
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abibliophobiaa · 1 year ago
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right where you left me;
chapter one: ticket to anywhere
summary: steve harrington is unlucky when it comes to matters of the heart. for years he’s been in love with his best friend, but circumstances have made it impossible for him to make his feelings known. fate seems to have other plans, when you ask him to help you escape your wedding day, with nothing but his hand to hold and a car to drive off in. you suddenly find yourself headed back to hawkins, back to the place that feels so unfamiliar now — back to the place where you first fell in love.
warnings: 18+; smut in later chapters; alcohol mentions; class differences; financial insecurities; purposeful vignette-like/short scenes to cover a larger span of time in this mini-series (11k words).
steve harrington x f!reader || best friends to lovers, mutual pining, second chance romance with the town handyman who lives in a cabin in the woods. inspired by this edit from @somnambulic-thing.
masterlist | next chapter
——
October, 1990…
——
Everything is wrong.
It hits you, sitting there in front of the vanity mirror, voices swirling about the room full of your girl friends. Your gown, the colors of the bridesmaids dresses, the venue. It’s too lavish, too over the top. Not the small, intimate feel you imagined ever since you were a little girl, friends surrounding you, watching as you married the man of your dreams.
But then again, the groom isn’t who you imagined either. That’s the first of the many issues with this day that jump to your attention.
Clark is fair haired and light eyed. Handsome, in the way that you can tell he spends thousands of dollars on clothing to do so. More acquaintance than the man you always envisioned standing beside you on this day.
This same man, who you found only moments ago seemingly in a passionate argument with one of your bridesmaids. Both of them touching one another in a way that seemed too familiar, like they’d done this dance, had this same conversation at least once before. She begged for him to leave, to get away now, to back out of the marriage. Pleaded with him to consider love, instead of some business endeavor.
Had reached up and kissed him bruisingly, his hands fisted in her gown. The same wrinkled one that stares at you now as your fingers toy with your bouquet, her sad eyes plastered on your face.
You know you should feel something. Anger, betrayal, hurt, resentment — but instead you feel nothing at all. You’re not in love. Haven’t been. Now your mind only buzzes, someone calling your name bringing you to attention, head lifting slightly.
“Are you okay?” they ask, “can I get you anything?”
And it’s two words.
A name, really, that pops into your mind.
“Can you see if Steve Harrington is here yet?”
——
Steve’s not sure what to think when a bridesmaid he barely recognizes — likely because he’s only met them once or twice before — barrels toward him, an intensity in her eyes that has him worrying something has gone wrong.
Everything is wrong, though. Because he’s here, in this ridiculously huge wedding venue, standing in for those in Hawkins who couldn’t make the trip, about to watch as his best friend marries a man who isn’t Steve Harrington.
And as much as it pains him, loving you means doing anything to see you happy — even if it kills him in the end. It’s all he knows, all he has done for as long as you’ve been a friend to him, two wide-eyed eleven-year-olds sitting in some fancy ballroom as you watched your parents parade themselves around like the elite that they deemed themselves to be.
What he doesn’t expect, however, as he’s practically dragged into a room, is to find you standing there pacing back and forth, beautiful as ever and not at all happy for someone who is about to be married.
“Stacy, a moment?” you ask, lifting your head enough that he can see you fully.
You’re absolutely breathtaking, in a way that’s almost cruel, because after today you’ll officially be a wife. After today, he’ll have to accept that his feelings that are not at all platonic toward his best friend he still harbors all these years later can only ever just be that: feelings.
As the door shuts behind Stacy, you rush forward and slam into his chest, and he’s immediately there to wrap his arms around your waist. You’re a vision in a fluffy tulle skirt, the veil on your head brushing against his chin, and it’s then he feels the frantic flutter of your heart against his sternum. It’s then he can feel your fingers curl around the lapels of his suit — can see the flash of tears swimming in your eyes.
“I need to get out of here,” you whisper hoarsely.
Breathlessly.
“What do y —”
“Please…take me away from here. Anywhere, I don’t care. Please,” you beg, and though he has more questions than answers, he dips his head. Because again, he’ll do anything to make you happy.
Even if that includes helping you run from your own wedding.
With a long exhale, Steve steps back a bit, fingers carding through his hair. He moves to the door, head tossed over his shoulder to glance back your way.
“Give me a second,” he says, slipping from the room into the hallway.
There’s no one in the nearby vicinity, this room far enough away from the rest of the guests that escaping shouldn’t be a problem. His eyes catch on the glowing exit symbol in the distance, and he knows his car is a few blocks away, but it’s better than nothing and will have to do.
When he slips back into the room, you’re wiping your hands along your dress, clasping one around his as he extends a palm your way.
He can’t deny the ache in his chest as you take it, the electric jolt that courses through his body, but now isn’t the time. If you’re going to get out without anyone noticing, you’ll have to do so now — and quickly.
“Come on,” he urges, and you’re both off, rushing down the empty hallway unbeknownst to your waiting guests, the world bursting to life in color as the exit doors swing wide open.
——
“Remind me to never run in heels again,” you gasp out, hand tight in Steve’s as you dart through busy city streets, avoiding bodies along the way.
All around, people honk their cars, citizens whistle and congratulate you as you run on by. And you know it’s because you and Steve, for all intents and purposes, look as though you’ve just married. Him in his suit, and you in your poofy wedding gown, the edges now stained a murky soot color.
“And I want this stupid thing off my head right now.”
Steve pauses on the side street as you come to a halt, his chest bumping yours at the abruptness as your fingers reach up to unclasp your veil from your head. Balling it up in your hands, you toss it into the nearby garbage can. Pigeons scurry away in haste, a squirrel skittering away from its hard earned meal.
“How do I look?” you ask, hiking up the edges of your gown as someone nearly trips on it, making their way towards the crosswalk.
“Like a runaway bride.” He laughs, shaking his head. “My car is another block that way. Let’s go.”
He grips your hand again, and you know you really don’t have to hold it, but it brings you comfort all the same. The further you run away from the wedding venue, the more you realize what exactly you’ve done. You’ve run out on your intended husband, on friends, on your family who has spent the money to make it all happen — and everyone will have something to say about it. Word gets around quickly in your social circle.
But it’s a decision for yourself. The first in a long long time.
There’s something so liberating about it — about rushing after Steve as he loops you around other bodies, as he opens the passenger side door for you and helps push your frilly skirts inside, before dropping down into the driver’s seat and shoving his key in the ignition.
And as he turns the key, peeling away from the busy side street, and heads toward the nearest highway, you know it’s the right decision.
——
Neither of you speak for the first half hour driving. The roads are busy, traffic bumper-to-bumper in the city, Steve’s grip a white knuckled one around the steering wheel. There’s also the suddenness in which your reality comes crashing, dress still on your form, the edges sodden around your ankles, the ring on your finger glinting in the slowly setting sun. Every part of this day has done a complete one eighty.
“We’ll probably have to stop in a few hours,” Steve says, a little more to himself, the hum of the radio spilling into the quiet car, “where do we want to go anyway?”
“I still can’t believe you drove all the way here,” you tell him softly, head turning a bit to take him in.
He’s loosened the tie around his neck, his hair is a little unkempt now, the suit jacket long tossed into the backseat. Those bare forearms of his ripple with each turn of the wheel, your eyes dragging along hair-dusted skin. You’ve missed him; more than you ever could realize, his presence a comfort after being surrounded by people who don’t understand you — not really, at least — for so long.
“I wanted to be here,” he says, “I don’t mind driving, you know that.”
You did. You’d spent many nights circling the familiar streets of Hawkins over the span of a few years once you’d both been able to drive. Those same streets that are unfamiliar now, mere memories in your mind. It had been a few years since everything that happened with Vecna, and a few years since you watched your childhood home grow smaller and smaller in your parent’s rear view mirror, Steve along with it, waving from his parent’s driveway.
“And I wanted to see you,” he adds, glancing your way, those hazel eyes bright in the setting sun.
The idea dawns suddenly, lips moving to form the words before you can think otherwise, “Hawkins. Take me to Hawkins with you.”
“Are you sure?” he asks, a little hesitantly, weariness seeping into his tone. “It's about…a twelve hour drive. I think we can make it to Ohio before getting some sleep for the night. You’ll just need to direct me with the map.”
You answer with a smile, reaching into his glove compartment and pulling out the map, the weathered corners bent like they’d been the last time you’d gone on a road trip with him. After everything had gone to hell at Starcourt, you needed to get away, the two of you taking to the road, a finger swirling around until it landed upon a random state.
It feels like old times, sitting here in the car with him, the windows down, his hair blowing in the wind, and the crisp smell of fall air to greet you.
The drive is quiet for the most part, other than the small exchanges here and there of roads to take, giving him enough time to make sure he’s in the correct lanes and the like.
It dawns on you then how long it’s been since the two of you really talked. Your exchanges throughout the years have been sparse, at best. Always meaningful, but moving twelve hours away has put a strain on your relationship from the get go. Initially you’d aimed for one phone call a week, which had soon turned into once every two weeks, and then down to once a month.
And once Clark had stepped in six months ago, your conversations were even less frequent, and always cut short — Clark never having understood why the two of you were so close.
So you suppose you shouldn’t be too surprised when Steve suddenly asks, “What happened back there?”
“I didn’t want to marry him,” you admit in a whisper, training your gaze ahead at the streets, leaves golden and amber flashing by the passenger side window. “I couldn’t marry him. I didn’t love him — I never loved him.”
It had been an added blessing that it seemed Clark felt the same, his mouth preoccupied with your friend’s minutes before you made your escape out the back door.
“Then why agree to marry the guy?”
It’s an innocent question, but it has your stomach lurching all the same, your lips parting slightly, heart pounding in your throat. “Steve…your parents are like mine. You know why.”
Because it had been arranged that way, Clark’s path pushed in front of yours, the pressures of your parents and their business ventures breathing down your neck. That and Clark had his own goals, as did you, and marrying would help you achieve them.
It wasn’t like you’d ever love him, either.
Love had only been reserved for one man in your life, and he’d never loved you back.
“So you marry some uptight rich guy to make your parents happy? What about how you feel?” His fingers tighten around the steering wheel, voice rising in volume. “And you were going to just go along with it?”
“Stop judging me! It’s not that simple.” His eyes dart to yours, unused to you ever raising your voice at him. “You don’t get it. You gave up that life. I had no choice but to go with them when everything happened the way it did in Hawkins.”
“Yes, because I was tired of feeling like a failure of a son,” he grumbles, carding his fingers through his hair, “tired of being looked at like I was Jonah Harrington’s biggest mistake.”
“You’re not a mistake.” Your fingers reach over the center console, briefly hovering above his bicep before resting there gently, feeling the tension in his form dissolve. “I thought I was doing the right thing for my family. I was trying to buy time and get my inheritance so I could be done with it all eventually. It was stupid, I know. But I’m making this decision right now, running away with you, for myself.”
His hand slides down to grasp yours, bringing the back of your knuckles to his lips to press a kiss there. He’s done it thousands of times over the years, but it has your heart skipping like it does every time, chills dancing along your spine.
“I’m sorry,” he says softly, dropping another gentle kiss to your knuckles, “I’m happy you’re here.”
“Me too, Steve.”
——
The moon comes out to play, and the two of you stop at a gas station just as Steve’s watch reads eight at night. The place is dilapidated at best. Neon glowing lights flickering along the top of the pump, the numbers worn away by weather, the inside of the building covered in inches of grime.
You’d intended to grab some snacks and water bottles, but the lack of sanitation efforts has you wanting to wait for the next convenience store instead. So as Steve pumps the gas, you lean onto the hood of the car, skirts spanning around your thighs, thanking someone as they pass and comment on how beautiful you look.
“You do look beautiful, you know?” Steve lifts his head, those corded muscles on his forearm drawing your attention once more. Head shaking, you tip your head up, eyes narrowing on his face curiously. “A shame you got all dressed up for that guy though.”
“Shut up,” you tease, sticking your tongue out at him, propping your map up on your thighs. “So if my guesses are right, we’ll be getting to Ohio in a little less than three hours. Hopefully the hotels in Powell aren’t full. I’m already pretty tired.”
“If worse comes to worse, we could always sleep in the car —”
“Steve.”
“What?” He raises a hand in surrender, smiling at the angry furrow of your brows. “Wouldn’t be the first time we camped out in the back seat of it.”
“I’d prefer a mattress after the day we both had,” you tell him, folding the map and tucking it beneath your thigh. “We also need to keep an eye out for a store. Pretty sure I saw a cockroach in the gas station, so I’m not trusting anything in there. Plus pork rinds and jerky didn’t exactly sound appealing to me.”
Steve grimaces in agreement, the gas pump clicking, signaling his full tank. He replaces the nozzle on the holder and pushes the flap back into place, snatching the map from your hand as he passes around the front of the vehicle to slide back into the front seat.
You follow suit, shoving your skirts about your thighs, finger toying at a hole in the hem that you must have made while running through the city streets. The realization of thousands of dollars, all for naught, with the lingering fear of your parent’s disappointment swirling in your gut has your stomach churning uncomfortably. But there’s little time to linger on those worries, as Steve slides a finger along your forearm to draw you back to reality, giving you a reassuring smile.
“Look at me,” he demands softly, hazel eyes glowing in the seedy gas station light that flickers above. Lips twitching, you meet his stare, chest warming under the burn of his affection, “there’s that smile I love. Everything is fine.”
There ends up being a small grocery store at the next exit, a little family owned thing, with very few shoppers lingering inside. You offer to go in alone, but Steve insists you’re in another state and he’s not about to leave you by your lonesome. So you end up standing beside him, him all tousled in his dark pants and wrinkled dress shirt, and you in your dress, drawing the attention of curious customers.
“We got lost on our way to the airport for our honeymoon,” Steve tells one person who wanders a little too close for his liking as you grab bags of chips off of a rack, tossing in a jar of salsa for good measure. “Going to stop at that hotel down on Verdant instead. Really want to go above and beyond and treat my wife, you know?”
The one that looked all seedy, like it was practically falling apart, windows broken and covered with wooden slats. The customer eyes the two of you wearily, offering well wishes, sounding a little uncertain as they slowly but surely back away, not wanting to talk any further.
Nothing quells your giggles at that, head pressing into the bag of marshmallows you found, eyes pinched shut to keep your tears at bay. “Steve, they probably think we’re crazy.”
“Speak for yourself, honey,” he chuckles, reaching over to snatch the bag from you, “why do we need these?”
You pluck it back, pouting. “If you must know, they’re for me. I don’t share with guys named Steve who have too many opinions.”
“If we’re getting marshmallows, we need graham crackers and chocolate too,” he points out, reaching over to grab the other two s’mores ingredients from the end cap you’re standing in front of, tossing them into your shopping cart. “For two adults, it looks like we’re buying for a bunch of kids about to enter into a sugar coma.”
“Look — we’ve had a stressful day,” you huff out, pushing the cart further down the aisle, “we’ve earned s’mores and snacks. Plus we need it for the rest of our trip. I saw a coffee shop next door too. I’ll buy it. I feel bad you drove all the way to the city, only to leave again.”
“If I have coffee now, I’ll never fall asleep,” he exhales, shoulder brushing yours as you meander through the aisle, snatching a package of water bottles for the car off a pallet. “I do think we should grab breakfast tomorrow morning. Maybe do a little touristy stop before heading back to Hawkins. What do you think?”
Time alone with Steve? Time you haven’t had in way too long, if you’re being honest with yourself. Even now, standing in the store with him, getting gas with him before that, you realize just how much you’ve missed your best friend. Things like this, so banal and generally uninteresting, have you smiling until your cheeks hurt, brimming to overflow with excitement.
It’s an easy choice, really. “Sounds perfect.”
——
One room. There’s only one room with a single bed left in the whole damn hotel. You suppose it shouldn’t come as a surprise, because nothing has really turned out how you anticipated today.
Still, you ask the woman at the front desk again, and she arches a brow in confusion — likely assuming you and Steve are already having marital issues merely hours after you tied the knot. There’s no use explaining it to any more people tonight. For now, you’re a newlywed, and Steve is your doting groom.
“Not like we’ve never shared a bed before.”
Steve’s voice is a low rumble near your ear as you stare at your distorted reflection in the silver wall of the elevator across from you. The thing is you have shared a bed with Steve numerous times over the years. As teenagers, when you often snuck over to Steve’s, after your parents left for business trip after business trip. He’d leave the window unlatched, a hand there to grab you as you scaled his trellis, blankets already pulled back on your side of the bed.
But for some reason this feels different. Hours ago you’d been engaged to another man — hours ago, after you’d caught said man in an affair, you’d only had one thought. And it had been this man standing before you; though then again, it had always been that way.
Steve Harrington, your beautiful best friend with a big personality and even bigger heart. Steve Harrington, the one that you always wanted, but also the one that never was.
With a steely sigh of resignation, you watch as Steve swipes the key card, flicking the light on in the doorway. It’s a simple room, not the upscale hotels you’re accustomed to. There are no lavish furnishings, no glittering chandeliers. Instead you’re met with a dresser and a dilapidated television. Against the back wall is a bed, the linens starchy beneath your fingertips, though you suppose they’ll have to do.
Steve whistles, glancing up at the popcorn ceilings. “Could be worse, right?” It’s an awkward chuckle, his hands reaching down to undo the buttons around his arms, hair on his chest visible a moment later as he unbuttons the top of his dress shirt. “Shit — just realized we don’t have any clothes. Should have stopped somewhere.”
“It’s fine,” you tell him, because he’s seen you in nearly every state of undress at this point.
In bathing suits over the summer, sitting atop his bathroom sink in your bra after Billy Hargrove had shoved you particularly hard at the Starcourt mall while under possession, your ribs scraped against the hard ground. And you’d seen him the same, beaten and bloodied after his altercation with Jonathan, after the Russians had taken him for questioning and beaten him to a bloody pulp, after the events with Vecna that had left his skin raw and battered.
Though you suppose this is a little different, as it’s the first time he’s going to be undressing you, despite being under different circumstances than those you dreamed of throughout the years. Fantasies you’ve long pushed aside in the catacombs of your mind, to be filed away as ‘things that’ll never happen since he’s your childhood best friend.’
Your fingers tremble as you turn in front of him, exhaling deeply as you mutter out, “I can’t reach the buttons. Could you…please?”
There’s a sense of awareness that settles over you as he approaches from behind. Broad, battle-calloused hands rest at the nape of your neck, drifting lower where they settle on the endless row of buttons there. His breath prickles along your skin, those nimble fingers of his toying with that first button, his inhale shaky as he undoes another, and then another, and another. With each button, more flesh is revealed, the ghost of his touching a phantom along your spine, the dress starting to sag around your breasts, your hands coming up to cup the gown close to your chest.
Steve’s eyes meet yours in the mirror affixed to the wall in front of you — hazel, and sparkling in the ethereal moonlight that pours through the softly parted curtains, tinged with an emotion you can’t quite put a name to. A deep exhale falls from gently parted lips as his knuckles drag along your spine, a delicate line that stops once he reaches the base, freeing you from the last of the buttons. White tulle drops to the ground beneath you, toes kicking it out of the way, leaving you standing there in a cream nightgown, lace detailing around the edges hugging the sumptuous curves of your breasts.
Steve’s throat bobs, clearly not wholly unaffected by all of this, as he peers at you. Your feet carry you backward toward the bed, legs curling beneath your form as Steve moves to unbutton his own shirt, tossing it haphazardly into the corner once it’s free from his torso. He’s the same and different than you remember. All broad chested, a dusting of hair along his upper body, a line from his naval down beneath the dark pants hugging a pair of toned thighs. Scars line his sides where the demobats had bitten into his flesh, his shredded back a tapestry of markings that catch your eye as he walks around the opposite side of the bed and slips in beside you. You avert your eyes, trying to not draw attention to the fact you’ve been ogling, ignoring that simmering ache low in your belly that forms.
If he notices you staring, he says nothing, only settling down on the mattress and shifting so his thighs brush your hips, his head resting on a pillow as he gazes at your profile.
Rolling onto your side, you reach over and trail your fingers along the forearm he tucks under his head, thumb running gentle stripes along the width of it. “Thanks for saving me today.”
“You know I’ll always be there for you,” he whispers back, reaching over your form to turn off the bedside lamp. “Always.”
——
Stones knock against the bedroom window. Rouse you from bed. Head poking up from your pillow, you wander over to the windowsill, hand covering your heart as Steve’s head appears in the opening, body practically thumping against the floor in his hastiness.
Broad palms settle on your biceps, the backs of your thighs pressing into your mattress as he leads you to sit down, hazel eyes meeting yours. Your fingers reach up to glide over his chest — to feel the rapid thump of his heart in his chest.
He’s real.
He’s here.
After worrying for days that something has gotten him too, he’s right here in the flesh.
Alive.
“I saw the news,” you gasp out, swallowing the harsh knot growing in the back of your throat, “Do they really think Eddie Munson did it? Do they really think he killed Chrissy? Fred? Steve, what’s going on? Is it the Upside Down? Let me help you.”
“It’s bad this time. Like — like really bad.” His fingers touch along your temples, poking and prodding, gauging your reaction. Your only reaction, however, is to grip at his wrists, fingers bracelets around his pulse points, head tilting to the side. “Are you in pain anywhere?”
“Steve, I’m fine,” you reassure him, pushing forward to loop your arms around his waist. To push him back against the bed so he can settle down a bit, his thighs against yours. “Your heart is racing. What’s wrong? I’m coming to help next time —”
“You’re not helping this time. Last time was a mistake.”
You’d been driving in the rain one evening back in July and saw Max and El walking on the streets, looking a little dejected, and ended up peering in the window at the Holloway’s when something had gone wrong and demanded the girls tell you what was going on — especially when you were El’s tutor and she usually told you everything. Once you’d found out Steve was missing too, all bets had been off the table for staying out of whatever was bump in the night.
He rolls over onto his side, hand coming up to cup your cheek, smothering your grimace under the softness of his touch. “I can’t…I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to you.”
“Steve.”
Your hand rests over his, eyes boring into his, noting the flush on his cheeks, the glittering lower line of his lashes. Whatever this is, whatever he’s dealing with…the weight is crushing him, and your heart breaks with the immensity it.
His fingers reach over to grasp at your Walkman laying on the bedside table beside your bed. He drops it down onto the mattress between the two of you, a pleading look in those hazel depths.
“Put your favorite song on loop. Keep batteries on you at all times, and keep the headphones nearby until I tell you it’s safe.” Your mouth opens to speak, but he continues, “Please, just trust me. It’s safer for you this way. People are dying.”
“Let me help, Ste —”
“Please,” he begs, dropping his forehead against yours, “just trust me, okay?”
You nod, and in the morning, as you start to feel your body coming to wake, his fingers trace your temple. Like he’s trying to memorize every detail, the calluses on his fingers from years of baseball soothing your soul.
“I love you,” he whispers, like he always does.
I love you, in the way he loves Dustin and Robin or any of the other kids.
I love you, in the way he’s loved you since you were eleven.
I love you, in the way you always tell one another you do.
I love you, in the way he always has, but not in the way you always wished he would.
“I love you,” he says once more, and you slip back into sleep.
——
Went to try and find us some clothes. You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you. Be back soon. - Love, Steve.
With a yawn, you roll over in bed, clutching the note to your chest. It smells like your best friend — that warm vanilla scent with something minty beneath. Comforting and completely him. The space beside you is still warm, the imprint of his body a reminder that he’d even been there at all. Popcorn ceilings meet your field of vision as you flip onto your back, holding aloft your left hand, light coming through the window catching on the glittering diamond there.
“Never thought you were one for a rock that needs an insurance policy,” Steve teases, appearing in the doorway with bags of clothes and other products in hand. “Then again, never thought you’d marry a guy named Clark. What is he, Spider-Man?”
“You mean Superman?”
He shoots a mocking glare your way and settles down beside you on the bed, pulling out various articles of clothing.
“It’s not designer, I hope that’s fine.” You shove at him lightly. He’s gone with a pair of black leggings and a chestnut colored sweater for you, along with a pair of boots that’ll be nice for the fall weather outside. “I eyed the shoe size. Hope they fit.” The shoes are a size too big, but they’ll work, and you laugh as he pulls out a bra and a pair of underwear. His eyes narrow a bit your way, “Just wanted to make sure I covered all the bases. I already got judged enough at the store by the cashier, so do not even go there right now.”
You snicker, tucking the clothes against your chest gratefully. Honestly, nothing sounds better than a new pair of comfortable clothes, ready to be rid of the flimsy dress dancing along your thighs.
“This is perfect,” you tell him honestly. Steve himself went for something similar — a pair of dark blue jeans, a black sweater, and a pair of simple shoes. “I’ll pay you back.”
“Seriously, don’t worry about it,” he says, stopping you from reaching for your wallet. “You couldn’t exactly walk around in your dirty wedding dress for another day.”
“Yeah, but you’ve already done too much for me —”
“You’re my best friend. Stop acting like you’re inconveniencing me. I asked for this. Plus we haven’t hung out much in…oh, I don’t know, two or three years? That’s a lot of lost time to make up for.” As your features soften at his words, he adds, “Now hurry up and get dressed. There’s a diner around the block that looks nice enough and I’m starving.”
——
Fifteen.
You’re fifteen and it’s a dare.
Tommy and Carol think it’s funny.
Seven minutes in heaven with Steve Harrington.
The room is silent, all eyes on you. And maybe it’s the cheap liquor stolen from Steve’s parent’s expensive cabinet running through your system, but when Carol points at you and laughs that you won’t do it, you grip Steve by the collar of his shirt and stomp off to the nearby coat closet.
Steve’s breathless behind you, body thumping yours as you both stumble inside and the door is shut. Without hesitation, you tug on the rope chain connected to a single lightbulb and squint as your eyes adjust to the orange glow radiating off Steve’s golden skin, flushed by the summer sun.
“Time is ticking and we don’t hear kissing!” Tommy cackles, though it’s muffled through the wooden door separating you from the rest of Steve’s guests.
The rest of the room dissolves into fits of giggles, drowned out by the harsh thump of your heart pounding in your ears. The light flickers up above, and part of you wonders if it’s the only imperfection in the Harrington home. Something so trivial, and yet it distracts you from this nerve wracking moment, in this closet, with this boy.
“I’ve — I never…” you babble, feeling your chest heat, embarrassment choking off the rest of your words. “So, like, if we…do this…I don’t really know what I’m doing. And I think if I’m going to get it out of the way, I’d want it to be with someone I trust, and there’s no one I trust more than you. So, like, why not, right?”
Steve’s grinning. A goofy little thing that grows as he steps a little closer, one of his palms curling around your hips, toying with the belt loop on your jean shorts. “You want me to kiss you, hmm?”
Steve’s different now. He’s grown in the four years you’ve known him. He’s handsome, not that he hasn’t always been. But there’s more of him now. His chest is broader, his hair is longer, he’s popular now. By default, you are too. None of that has ever mattered; as long as you have him, you’re happy. But it’s at fifteen that you really understand the love you feel for him isn’t wholly platonic. In fact, the older you get, the more time you spend with him…it only solidifies in your heart that whatever his soul is made up of sings to your own.
It’s equal parts surreal and terrifying.
“Hey…hey,” Steve whispers, voice a coo that he only reserves for you, “what’s the pout for?”
“You’re teasing me,” you tell him, tipping your head up a bit, the fire in your eyes clashing with the worry in his, “and I already told you I’m nervous. You only have one first kiss and I —”
“I’m sorry, you’re right. I'm being an asshole. Let me start over again, yeah?”
You nod, swallowing thickly as he lifts a hand and cups your cheek. The pad of his thumb runs over your bottom lip, parts you for him gently. Shaky breath skitters along your bottom lip, heart thrashing wildly behind your sternum as he takes another step closer and tilts his head down a bit, the warmth of him permeating your thin tank top when his chest brushes yours.
“It’s just me,” he breathes out, noting your trembling, taking another step closer.
His hips bump yours and linger, all the butterflies in your stomach fluttering wildly. A steady beat of ‘kiss me, kiss me, kiss me’ in time with their wings throbs in your blood.
Steve’s thumb strokes back and forth against your lip, drags it down further as your breath mingles in the middle, as you lean up onto your toes and meet him there, humming into his flesh.
The space between you shrinks and he’s there, warm and gentle against your flesh. You barely have time to register the fact he’s kissing you, because a knock sounds from the other side of the door, signaling your time is up. Both of you jolt apart, a little breathless, your hand coming up to rest against your mouth. He swallows thickly and opens the door, the closet awash in bright light, and though he seems mostly unaffected, a solid realization drops into your gut.
You’ve never loved anyone before, and maybe people will say you’re ‘too young’ to know anything about it, but you know with absolute certainty you love Steve Harrington.
——
Steve’s beaming because you’re glowing. Practically bouncing on the balls of your feet as you wander through the park you’d stumbled upon shortly after breakfast, shoes crinkling against fallen leaves as you kick them into the air, glee personified. He wishes he had a camera, if only to capture the way you look right now. You, with your head tipped up to the sky, arms out at your sides, catching the small droplets of rain that began falling only minutes ago on your upturned palms.
He’s already suggested heading back to the car and getting on the road for the remainder of the trip to Hawkins, but the more it rains the happier you seem. As though you’re shedding your old life, a little lighter than you had been hours ago.
He hates that Clark’s ring is still on your finger, especially when he feels the way he does simply looking at you in this moment, but he can only imagine the enormity of the emotions welling in your system. You walked out on your family and your marriage; he knows your family, and knows what consequences might come from your actions.
Maybe you need a moment before popping the bubble and accepting fate? And who is he to hinder your joy? He’d spend every day trying to get you to smile like you are right now, having done so all the years of your friendship, only now it twists his gut tight. A harsh coil, curling around his esophagus, robbing him of his voice and air.
“I love how free and open everything feels here,” you tell him, practically skipping over to his side, shoulder brushing his. “I’ve been in the city so long I forgot what it’s like.”
He knows exactly what you mean. It’s quiet here. Peaceful. For a moment he can pretend you two are the only people in the world. “And soon you’ll be back in Hawkins,” he says, curling an arm around your shoulders, tucking you in close. “Are you excited?”
“A little nervous to see everyone,” you admit, resting your head against his shoulder. “It’s been…”
“Almost three years since you visited.”
He’d come to visit you in the city, on weekends where he could get away and book a plane ticket. But even then, he’d only see you for a weekend at a time. Nothing like before, when you’d spend nearly every day with him, and then once Robin joined the picture, she’d become the third part of your trio.
He can’t wait to have the both of you back together in the same state again.
There is so much he already imagines doing, places he wants to show you, things he wants to share with you.
“Everyone misses you, though,” he reassures you, hating the way your features drop when you whirl around to face him, the amber leaves wrinkling around the edges of your shoes. “They’re going to be so excited. Swear.”
“Pinky promise?” You hold out the sad little pinky, eyes leveling with his.
“We haven’t done one of these since we were seventeen when you asked me to teach you how to parallel park and promised to write my science paper if I helped you pass —”
“Yeah, because I failed the road test and was the only one in our class to not pass on the first try. It was embarrassing.” And you’d been miserable about it. Made it everyone’s problem. He’d thought it cute, the way you’d ripped Tommy H to shreds when he said it was okay you failed because Steve could always chauffeur you around, and you’d flipped the guy off with your favorite finger to throw his way.
Still, he curls his finger around yours and grins, “How do you feel about getting on the road? If we leave now, we should be in Hawkins by dinner time. Maybe we can bother Eddie for a free drink. You know he owns the Hideout now? Expanded it, so it’s a restaurant too now. The owner had passed and trusted Eddie would take care of it. Everyone’s really proud of him.”
You don’t. He’s never told you. It happened the past year, and with Clark entering your life, communication had dwindled a bit. He tried to hide his upset with those first few phone calls. Tried to pretend he never noticed how you’d spoken quicker, as though you were trying to speed up your catch up sessions, as though someone were looking over your shoulder.
It hurt to have the little bits he got to keep of you — the parts he liked to think were for himself — cut even shorter.
Things are different now, he reminds himself. You’re here, with him, heading back to Hawkins.
But for how long…that weary part in the back of his soul whispers. Just as quickly as he has you back, he knows he can lose you now. The thought alone stirs dread within him.
“Do you mind if we stop at a phone booth first? I want to call my family. Make sure they at least know I’m okay.” You’re already gesturing to the booths he can see in the nearby distance, hidden under a halo of golden and flame colored leaves dancing on tree branches.
“Are you sure you want to do that?” He knows them. He knows it’ll be anything but civil conversation.
He watches a grimace flutter across your features. “I think I owe at least that to them.”
——
Calling is a mistake. A huge, unfathomable mistake. The phone booth rests on the outskirts of the park, leaves falling to the ground around you, the fall chill in the air adding to the drop in temperature once you step beneath the awning and dial the number you know by heart.
Steve remains behind you, a comforting hand on your shoulder you accept by lacing your own fingers atop his. There’s a quick greeting, a simple ‘hi’ that spills out from you in a nervous rush, and then the phone blares to life. What feels like dozens of voices burst on the other end. You can hear your father shouting in the distance when your mother says who is calling.
Clark’s voice also appears in the background, and you wonder why he’s with them. It’s not like you ever spent much time with him outside of family obligations.
The relationship had been a ruse, a predisposed desire foisted upon you both by affluent families in want of furthering their ‘prestigious bloodlines,’ a result of societal pressures becoming too much. Many had insisted many married for less, that these arrangements were more common than you were led to believe, that love wasn’t afforded to people ‘like you.’ You hated it — hated all that it stood for.
Your relationship with Clark had never been deeply emotional or physical. A kiss on the brow or a peck on the lips for appearances sake, but you never allowed him near your heart. He was a friend, sure; someone you could talk to, could vent to — but that was all it ever had been.
You were merely upholding the optics your families expected of you both. The plan all along had been to eventually separate after Clark received his promotion within your father’s practice, and you obtained your inheritance before finally deciding what you wanted to do with your own life. Figured it was the least owed after throwing away everything you once knew to play a role you detested as a ‘perfect daughter’ to one of the largest plastic surgeons in the country.
“Where are you?” your father demands, voice a gruff bark, “You must have some grand explanation for walking out and throwing the thousands of dollars I threw into your wedding away.”
“I’m safe,” you tell them, smiling softly to yourself as Steve’s fingers squeeze tight around your shoulder.
“Don’t think we didn’t see you run out with Harrington's son. I had the venue pull the security footage —”
“With Steven?” your mother gasps. “You didn’t tell me that, dear.”
“If this is some affair, you and Clark will deal with it in couple’s counseling. I expect you back here this instant, young lady. I did not raise you the way I did just for you to run back to that hell in a handbasket town —”
“I need time away,” you say, a little bite to your tone you don’t expect, heart hammering away, “I don’t know how long. But I need this, okay?”
“Sweetheart.” Clark’s voice pours through the receiver. It’s fake, you know it’s fake. All appearances because he knows his promotion is in jeopardy. He can’t be sole heir of your father’s practice without the wife needed to secure the deal. “Let’s think rationally here. Come back home, I miss you. Please, my love.”
Steve stiffens behind you, his ear having lowered down to the earpiece. You shake your head and he softens when you tug him nearer by his sweater, relishing in the warmth of his body to block out the cold.
“I only wanted to call to tell you all that I'm okay. And I’m okay. I promise.” Voices start to rise in volume, but the phone slams against the holder and the line grows dead, ready for the next caller. Fingers rise to pinch at the bridge of your nose. Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill out. Steve opens his mouth to speak, but you offer a stiff shake of the head, murmuring, “Can we just…go? I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Y-yeah,” he stutters, sliding a hand down to take yours in his, pulling you from the phone booth. You follow listlessly behind, free hand toying with the edge of your sweater. For someone who always takes up a room with her personality, you seem so small now. Deflated. He hates it. Hates that they hold this power over you, knowing he escaped the same thing years ago now and never looked back. “I love how they still think I’m some shitstain on my family legacy even after all these years. Kind of funny, right, seeing how those people are so miserable, and yet for the first time in my life I’m actually happy.”
You laugh at the blasé nature of his words. He always knows what to say to make you laugh, always has. “I’m glad one of us is.”
He stops, whirling around to cup both your shoulders. “You’ll figure it out too. This will all blow over. It’ll be okay. Do you want me to take you back home?”
The word sinks deep in the pit of your stomach. Home. Is it home, though?
“No,” you mumble, sounding a little forlorn, “no, I want to stay with you.”
“Okay, well…I have one rule when we get back into the car.” His hair dances along his brow as a stray wind picks up. There’s a shadow of stubble along his jaw, and the urge to run your fingers along that new part of him rises up within you. Head tilting to the side curiously at his words, he continues, “Your life back in the city? Doesn’t exist right now, okay? All of that — leave it right here on this walkway. Think you can do that for me?”
You nod, the city laid there to rest on that sidewalk in the middle of Powell, Ohio.
——
Steve visits the first winter after you leave Hawkins. Feels a little out of place as he appears at your parent’s doorway, holding out a bottle of wine he grabbed from a supermarket, in a suit that he knows is ill fitted on his body because he borrowed it from Eddie Munson. Your home is huge; towering white walls, marble floors, a sprawling staircase. But it’s cold and it’s empty and feels empty, without memories to fill it.
Not like your home back in Hawkins, where he spent his days laying on your bed as you studied, or on the couch watching movies, legs tangled in blankets, chairs set around to make silly forts. He misses baking in the kitchen — or rather you baking, while he prattles on about anything that comes to mind as you tossed ingredients together with love and care.
His heart swells as you rush forward, practically leaping into his arms, perfect as you’ve always been. All beaming smiles, melodious laughter, and that incomparable beauty that radiates from within you.
You feel like home — like his; and yet, you’ve always felt that way.
But you’re here and he’s in Hawkins and you’re miles apart now.
And the way your father pulls him to the side after dinner for a not-so-innocent glass of whiskey outside reminds him exactly of that.
“This childhood crush you have — I always thought the two of you would grow out of it. But it’s clear that is not the case.” It’s a dark sound, a sound that has Steve swallowing thickly, fingers tightening around his glass. “We allowed it for as long as we did because it was good for the two of you. Having friends in that town. These are the people my daughter needs to be around. Her peers, her friends, people that she can grow with.”
Steve swallows again. It’s not unlike the conversations he’s had with his own father before his parents left Hawkins. ‘You’re not good enough for her, you’re not good enough in general, you should have scored that hoop, should have won that baseball game, should have gotten better grades, should have joined the family business.’
Should have, should have, should have.
“I love your daughter, sir.”
He’s always dreamed of telling you first. But the moment was never right, sometimes you’d be dating someone, or he would be. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if your feelings were the same. If he learned anything from the knock on his head thanks to Nancy Wheeler, it was that life only passed you by if you waited.
The older man leans back on his chair and sips his drink, the air bitingly frigid, and yet Steve feels hot beneath his clothing. Can feel every wrinkle of fabric against his slick skin. “You know I can’t allow that.”
“Not to be disrespectful, sir, but she’s her own person —”
“That may be true. She has her free will, and both of us are well aware how stubborn she can be, but sometimes that clouds her judgment —” Steve’s mouth opens, but he’s cut off, “What will you be able to provide her? Where are you working these days? That movie shop?”
“I’m — ah —”
“If you were to marry her, how would you provide for your home? For your children, should you have any?”
Steve flounders on the spot. He has his job, and maybe it doesn’t pay what he would like, but he’s also taken up working side jobs with a local contractor. Has started learning how to build, how to fix, has started remodeling Hopper’s old home that he bought off of him when he married Joyce. It’s a fixer upper, but it’s one of the few things he has that he can fully say are his and his alone.
Maybe he doesn’t have everything now, but in a few years…
“Imagine in a few years. You might make her happy now, but what if she wakes up one day and realizes love isn’t enough? When the bills come in and finances are tight — it creates a strain on a relationship, a stress that I don’t think your childhood whims can even sustain. Not forever, at least. She’s used to this.” He waves his hands to the lavish home you live in. “All she knows is this.”
And he cannot measure up. He can’t provide this. Will never be able to reach this unimaginable wealth. Can’t take you to fancy five-star restaurants, still drives the car he’s had for years now, lives in a home that doesn’t have fully functional windows. A home where when it rains he lays out buckets to catch the water droplets that dribble inside through the roof that still needs a ton of love. He has no pension, no fancy 401k, and the barest of savings to his name.
Not enough, he’s not enough, not good enough.
It’s the words that are unsaid that speak the loudest.
He understands immediately what the older man means.
He’s not enough for you.
He’d never been enough for his own family, so why did he assume this would be any different?
“I know I cannot tell you what to do,” the man across from Steve says, a smug grin across his lips that has his blood running cold, “but I would like to make it very clear you will not have my blessing in the matter. Is that understood?”
Steve says nothing, because the door slides open and you’re there in your sparkly dinner dress that likely costs more than what he makes in a week. The differences in your classes have never been so firmly drawn in the sand. You take his hand and urge him inside, smiling at him like he hung the moon, and your father presses a kiss to your forehead.
“Steve, remember what we talked about, son.”
And he’s gone, but his words remain. Swirling, swirling, swirling around inside Steve’s mind. Like little crystalline shards, little daggers, that sink into his skin and twist. Barbs, tangling within him, leaving him reeling and aching.
“Hey,” you whisper softly, brows furrowing, hands cupping his cheeks. “Hey, are you okay?”
You’re warm, stroking his skin so comfortingly, and he smiles down at you, forces it onto his face for your sake. “I’m okay,” he lies, but though you frown a bit at his reply, you smile weakly when he adds, “Missed you, that’s all.”
“There’s a movie playing tonight that I think you’d like. Come with? For old times sake?” Hopeful. You sound so hopeful.
“Sure,” he says hollowly, the mantra of ‘not good enough’ echoing impossibly loud as you walk him down the hall.
——
The rain falls harder now. Thicker droplets that drop against the windshield, little tracks like tears falling down the glass, pushed away a moment later by wipers.
You tug your thighs up closer to your chest, head nodding along to the song playing on the radio. Steve seems far away — lost in thoughts that form a haze over his eyes. Moments ago you’d run your fingers over the backs of his knuckles and he’d offered you a smile, but that wouldn’t do.
“This mountain I must climb,” you sing out, filling the car with your off-key notes, “feels like a world upon my shoulders.”
“What are you doing?” Steve chuckles, head turning your way. There’s a nervousness about him that feels unfamiliar. A conscientiousness that’s usually not there when it comes to him.
Trying to break him out of whatever spell he’s in, your hand splays out, clutching at the sleeve of his sweater dramatically, waving his arm in the air.
“Through the clouds I see love shine —” Another grand swirl of your free hand, and a laugh bursts from him. “It keeps me warm as life grows colder. Come on, Steve!”
“In my life, there’s been heartache and pain,” he mumbles beside you, thumb tap-tapping against the steering wheel. From where you’re sitting, you can see the twitch of his lips, the corners climbing upward. “I don't know if I can face it again.”
You both break into a fit of giggles as the next lines come through the speakers. And then, with your hand against your heart and his waving out in a flourish that teasingly thumps your chest you both cry out in equally as horrendous voices, “I wanna know what love iiiiis. I want you to show meee.”
You turn to face him, staring intently in his eyes, both of you wailing from deep within your bellies, “I wanna feel what love is. I know you can show meee.”
Your head falls against his shoulder, both your shoulders shaking as the song continues around you, eyes following the tracks of the raindrops spilling onto the glass. Comforting, it’s comforting and feels like home.
The chorus blares again and you catch Steve mouthing the words to the song, his eyes a little misty, your heart splintering down the middle.
Trying to break the quiet tension in the car, you tease, “Is that a tear in your eye I see, Steve Harrington?”
He shoves you lightly, though he makes no effort to move you from his shoulder, sniffling noisily. “Shut up.”
“It’s an emotional song. I don’t blame you,” you giggle airily, looping an arm around his waist, the gearshift digging into your middle. You’re about to ask him what has him in his thoughts just as a rectangular object flashes by your side of the car. “Oh! Was that the —”
“Welcome to Hawkins,” he says softly, your head whipping behind you to catch the back of the sign declaring your entrance to your childhood town.
“I’m back?” You breathe out, nose nearly pressing up against the windshield, despite Steve trying to pull you into your seat by the back of your sweater. “Steve?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles breathily, “you’re home.”
“Home.” Endless rows of lush trees fly by, the rumble of distant thunder drowning out the Foreigner song blaring through Steve’s stereo system. “It’s been so long. Still kinda smells.”
“Definitely still smells over here,” he admits, finally managing to get you to rest back against your seat. “Calm down, you dork.”
Wrinkling your nose at him, you suddenly jump, clapping his forearm rapidly with your excited palm. “Oh my gosh — I get to finally see your place!”
“You get to stay at my place too,” he muses, smirking in a way that has your toes curling a bit in your shoes.
You watch as familiar buildings come into view. Different than they were before the town had been devastated by Vecna, but they're all the same. He winds down roads with names you can still remember, weaving along streets until making his way down the path toward where you knew Hopper’s old cabin to be. Only as you pull up, glancing out the window up at the beautiful trees above, it’s much different than you remember. Gorgeous, nestled away as it is in the middle of one of the most peaceful places in all of Hawkins. Larger and triangular on top, with wide windows and a wrap around deck. Beneath a wooden awning are two wooden chairs, facing your direction. A porch light glows with a yellow light, illuminating the deck and the car just feet away from where Steve parked.
“Were you expecting company?” You push the clasp of your seatbelt free, grabbing your things and pushing the passenger side door open. Leaves crinkle and crunch beneath your feet as you step out, rain droplets falling onto your head.
“Looks like Eddie is still here. That’s his fiancée’s car.”
“Eddie’s here.” He nods at your query, stepping in closer, arm there to loop around your shoulders. “Your home…it’s so much different than it was. It’s — it’s amazing, Steve.”
“Figured it needed some remodeling, seeing as monsters had ripped through it.” He grins to himself at your compliment, though, pride radiating off of his form. “It does look pretty great, doesn’t it? I’m proud of it. Mr. Lafferty gets all the credit. He taught me everything I know.”
“Mr. Lafferty…” The name sounds familiar. He’d been one of the few carpenters in town.
“He passed away a few months ago.” Steve grimaces. “But he helped a ton. We expanded the place, added some rooms, and updated it. It’s…well, it’s home.”
“Show me?”
He nods, pulling you along the makeshift walkway beside him. Rocks shift and move as you follow him, shoes tapping against the wooden steps leading to the front door. Steve pushes it open and you’re greeted with high ceilings, wooden beams along the walls, a fireplace set in the far right corner, two gray couches nearby with a wooden table in the middle of the space. There’s a television in the corner, and set back against the far wall is the open kitchen area.
“You are…not at a wedding,” Eddie murmurs, appearing from within the refrigerator, open beer can in hand. “Thought you were getting hitched.”
“Decided marriage wasn’t for me,” you laugh, rushing forward to slam into the man, sighing happily into his chest as arms loop low around your waist. “But Steve tells me you’re getting married.”
“Yeah, somehow tricked a girl into saying yes,” he chuckles, taking a step back to look at you. “You look great.”
“You do too!” His scars look faded by time now, his hair longer than you remember, earring twinkling behind those dark curls of his. “And who is this?”
There, on a little mat in the corner of the kitchen, is a little orange kitten. It peers up at you with honey colored eyes, a little nervous as it pads closer to Eddie. The metalhead scoops the kitten in hand, little kitten limbs spilling over his forearm.
“This is my nephew, Garfield,” Eddie says, rubbing at a tiny furry ear. “Steve found him behind the Hideout. I managed to convince him to keep it. Poor guy is out here living all on his own, it was only a matter of time before he started talking to the trees. As his best friend, I needed to look out for him, you know? So I figured talking to a cat would be more acceptable.”
“Very funny, asshole.” Steve plucks the kitten from his friend, holding it between the two of you. Your eager fingers reach out to pet it, the little head tilting upward to maximize chin scratches, a rumbly purr vibrating against your fingertips. “You fed him?”
“Fed him, cleaned up after him. By the time you have human babies, I’ll be a pro.” Eddie clapped his best friend on the back, giving you another hug. “I should get back. Promised Abi I would grab pizza on the way home. I’ll see you both around. Enjoy your night, kids.”
His ringed fingers waggle and your cheeks burn. “Oh, it’s not like —”
He offers a parting bow and slips out the door, his boots thundering on the front steps, leaving you alone in Steve’s home. Alone again, you take another glance about the space, noting the staircase against the opposite wall.
Raising a finger in the air, you ask, “Your cabin has a second floor?”
“Yeah.” He nods, jerking his head in the direction of the stairs. “Come on.”
Following him, you walk the few stairs leading to his bedroom, taking in the large king bed set against more windows that bleed moonlight into the otherwise dark space, the tan and cream pillows piled high against a dark comforter, his closet in the corner. There’s a woven basket in one corner, various plaid and knitted blankets poking out. To your left is what he tells you is the bathroom, door closed for now.
Even without the fire presently burning in the fireplace, the home feels warm. Like something Steve has put his heart and soul into to make it exactly what he envisioned. Proud doesn’t even start to touch the emotions welling up within you for the man.
All of this. He’s done all of this in the years since you’ve been gone.
“So, uh, you can use the bed? I have a ton of blankets, so I can always sleep on the couch. For however long you want to stay.”
“Steve, no.” He arches a brow. “This is your home. You didn’t plan on hosting. You take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Or…” Steve places Garfield down on the edge of the bed, the kitten curling up into a content ball, paws kneading into the comforter below. “we just…share? Again, nothing we’ve never done before. Just like the thousands of other times we’ve done it.”
“I mean. Hell, we did that last night too.” You shrug, because he’s not wrong to suggest simply sharing again.
“Exactly.” Steve watches as you walk around his bedroom, taking in the sights. “I got you pajamas. They’re in the car, so I’ll just have to run out and grab them quickly. We can go shopping for more stuff in the morning. If you’re…planning on staying for a bit.”
“Yeah…I mean, I haven’t thought about for how long, and I don’t want to put you out for longer than I —”
“You can stay however long you need to. Or want to. Not a problem.” Steve clears his throat, hand coming up to run along the back of his neck.
“Okay.” You nod.
“Okay,” he echoes.
That’s that.
And later, as you both curl up beneath the blankets, Garfield lying comfortably near Steve’s feet, you whisper into the darkness.
“Hey, Steve?”
“Yeah?”
You can feel him in the bed behind you. There’s enough distance between you that it feels like a chasm, though.
“I’m cold.”
He exhales a yawn. “Do you want me to throw more logs on the fire?”
“No…” You shift backward a little, your frigid feet touching his warmer ones. “Can you, uh…get closer? Like when we were younger.”
Bandaged knees. Summer slick skin. The smell of sunblock in the air. Bodies huddled together, legs tangled and arms wound right. Nights where you fell asleep against him on the couch during winter, his heartbeat a lullaby. Laying under the stars at Lover’s Lake, losing track of time, and having to rush back home as the sun set to get ready for school, his hair a wreck. Images flicker in your mind, memories of times long ago.
It feels different now. Changed, as his body sidles in closer, a muscular arm coming to curl low around your waist. A hum pours from you as he tugs you against his chest, the feeling of his breath at the back of your neck a comfort that has your head nuzzling further into a fluffy pillow.
“Is this good?” he asks, resting his forehead against the back of your head, the rumble of his chest vibrating along your spine.
“Perfect.”
And as his breathing slows and he starts to drift off to sleep, you can’t help but to think about how warm he feels. About how easy it would be to lose yourself in this fantasy — of staying here, in this home, with the person you love.
Therein lies your problem.
——
please please interact if you like. it means the world to content creators. and as always, i am so happy to share a new story with you all. 🩷
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emjayewrites · 2 months ago
Text
Private Landing (Lewis Hamilton) (10/15)
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SUMMARY: In the high-speed world of Formula One, Lewis Hamilton subtly introduces a mysterious partner via Instagram after a slight mishap during an interview. Sparking media intrigue, everyone wants to know: who is the enigmatic figure that calls herself Mrs. Hamilton?
INSPO: this post
PAIRINGS: Sir Lewis Hamilton x Aurora "Rorie" Phillips-Hamilton (faceclaim is Justine Skye)
WARNINGS: drama, angst, sexual content, formula one b.s., pre-established relationship (with flashbacks). RATED M (18+)
TAGLIST: @queenshikongo3 @cocobutterqwueen @mauvecherie-writes @a-moment-captured @yeea-nah @lovebittenbyevans @alika-4466 @saintslewis @cherry2stems @liamundi @trinitoldyouso @scorpiobleue @certifiedlesbianbaddie @httpsserene @motheroffae @perfecttrashface @xoscar03 @saturnville @weetjy @pinkcatcus @lewlewlemon44 @cranberryjulce @chaoticcoffeequeen @vile-harlot @periodjosh @melanin-queen369 @destinyg237 @niahxo @purplelewlew
A/N: Please let me know if you want to be added/removed from the taglist. The headers/dividers are by @inklore
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CHAPTER 10: The Hills
The Colorado mountains loomed in the distance as Lewis's car wound its way up the private road to their secluded home. Exhaustion from the Las Vegas race and recent events weighed heavily on him, but the anticipation of seeing his family pushed it all to the back of his mind.
With only two and a half days at home before he had to leave for Abu Dhabi for the season's final race, the Hamilton family had decided to celebrate an early Thanksgiving. It was a chance to gather everyone together before the hectic end to the Formula 1 season and the upcoming holidays.
As Lewis pulled up to the house, he could already hear the muffled sounds of activity inside. A wreath hung on the front door, and the scent of pine and cinnamon greeted him as he stepped out of the car.
Before he could even reach for his bags, the front door burst open. Roscoe's excited barks filled the air as the bulldog bounded towards him, tail wagging furiously. Close behind, a blur of motion that could only be Lyric toddled out, arms outstretched.
"Dada! Dada!" Lyric called out, his face beaming with joy.
Lewis scooped up his son, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Hey, little man! I missed you so much."
As he carried Lyric inside, with Roscoe circling his legs, Lewis took in the scene before him. The house filled with people, everyone pitching in to prepare for the early celebration.
In the kitchen, he spotted Rorie and his mother, Carmen, working side by side at the counter, flour dusting their aprons as they prepared what looked like pie crusts. His father, Anthony, and stepmother, Linda, were in the living room with Rorie's parents, arranging decorations and setting up extra chairs.
"Look who's here!" Lewis called out, unable to keep the smile from his face.
Rorie looked up, her eyes lighting up at the sight of him. She quickly wiped her hands on her apron and rushed over, enveloping both Lewis and Lyric in a tight hug.
"Welcome home," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
As the family gathered around, exchanging hugs and greetings, Lewis felt the tension of the past few days begin to melt away. Here, surrounded by the love of his family, he could almost forget the challenges that awaited them.
But as he caught Rorie's eye over the heads of their excited family members, he saw the shadow of worry there. They had much to discuss, decisions to make. But for now, for these precious two and a half days before he had to leave for the crucial race in Abu Dhabi, they would celebrate. They would be thankful for what they had – each other, their families, and the strength to face whatever came next.
"So," Lewis said, bouncing Lyric on his hip, "what can I do to help with this early Thanksgiving?"
The room erupted in laughter and a chorus of suggestions, and Lewis dove right in, grateful for this moment of normalcy amidst the chaos of their lives.
The family bustled around, preparing for the early Thanksgiving celebration, and Lewis found himself alone in the living room with his father, Anthony. The older man's face was etched with concern as he helped hang a string of lights.
"Son," Anthony began, his voice low, "we need to talk about what happened in Vegas."
Lewis tensed, knowing this conversation was coming. "Dad, I–"
"I saw the TMZ video," Anthony cut in, his tone stern. "That woman, Deja... she seemed pretty convinced about your history. What's that all about?"
Lewis sighed, running a hand over his face. "Honestly, Dad, I don't remember meeting her. It was All-Star weekend in 2017, I was partying a lot back then."
Anthony shook his head, disappointment evident in his eyes. "Lewis, you know better than to let situations like this escalate in public. What were you thinking, engaging with her like that?"
"I wasn't thinking," Lewis admitted. "It caught me off guard. I never expected–"
"That's the problem, isn't it?" Anthony interrupted. "You always need to expect the unexpected, especially with your profile. This could have serious consequences for you and Rorie."
Just then, Rorie entered the room. She sensed the tension immediately. "Everything okay in here?"
Lewis looked at her, guilt washing over him. "We were just discussing the Deja situation."
Rorie's face fell slightly, but she squared her shoulders. "We're in this together, Lewis. Whatever happened in the past, we'll face it as a team."
Anthony nodded approvingly at Rorie's words. "That's the right attitude. But Lewis, you need to be more careful. This woman's claims, whether true or not, could affect your reputation, your career."
"I know, Dad," Lewis said, feeling like a chastised teenager again. "We're working with our legal team to handle it."
Rorie moved to stand beside Lewis, taking his hand. "We also need to discuss the situation with Luisa," she said softly.
Anthony's eyebrows shot up. "Luisa? Your housekeeper? What's she got to do with this?"
Lewis and Rorie exchanged a look before Lewis spoke. "It turns out she's been the one leaking information to Deja and possibly the press."
"Good Lord," Anthony muttered. "It never rains but it pours, does it?"
Just then, Lyric ran into the room, breaking the tension. "Dada, play!" he demanded, tugging on Lewis's pant leg.
Lewis scooped him up, grateful for the interruption. "Sure thing, little man. Let's go see what trouble we can get into."
As Lewis left with Lyric, Rorie and Anthony shared a concerned look.
"We'll get through this," Rorie said, her voice firm. "We always do."
Anthony nodded, patting her shoulder. "That you do, my dear. That you do." He paused, his eyes softening as he looked at Rorie. "You know, you're the best thing that's ever happened to Lewis. He's grown so much since being with you."
Rorie smiled, touched by his words. "Thank you, Anthony. That means a lot."
"But," Anthony continued, his tone turning serious, "his past... it's not all pretty. Are you prepared for it all to come out? There might be things even you don't know about."
Rorie met his gaze steadily. "I know about what happened in his life before me, Anthony. We've been open with each other from the start."
Anthony raised an eyebrow. "Even what happened with Nicole?"
Rorie nodded. "Even Nicole. And his mistakes in their relationship. We worked through it in counseling a long time ago, and he even apologized to Nicole for cheating." She took a deep breath. "I've got this, Anthony. Trust me. Nothing is coming between me and my husband. Whatever Deja is saying is nothing we can't handle."
Anthony studied her for a moment, then broke into a warm smile. "You're a strong woman, Rorie. Lewis is lucky to have you."
"We're lucky to have each other," Rorie corrected gently. "And we're lucky to have such a supportive family. Now, come on. Let's get back to these decorations before my mom comes looking for us."
_______________________________________________
As the afternoon wore on, the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of more guests. Tia, Ayesha, and Britt bustled in, arms laden with bags of food and gifts, their laughter filling the entryway.
"We're here!" Tia called out, shaking snow from her boots. "And we brought reinforcements!"
Behind them, KiKi entered more hesitantly, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. As Lewis came to greet them, there was a palpable tension between him and KiKi.
After a moment's hesitation, Lewis pulled KiKi into a hug. "We need to talk later," he whispered in her ear.
As they pulled apart, KiKi glanced at Rorie, who gave a subtle nod. "Sure," KiKi muttered, her voice unsteady.
The group dispersed, with the women heading to the kitchen to help with dinner preparations while the men, led by Lewis and Anthony, began setting up the expansive dining room table and arranging the bar area.
In the kitchen, Rorie was carefully preparing Lewis's vegan meal alongside the traditional Thanksgiving fare. The aroma of herbs and roasted vegetables mingled with the rich scent of turkey still cooking in the oven.
"So," Ayesha said, sidling up to KiKi as she chopped vegetables, "when were you going to tell us about Khalil?"
KiKi's knife paused mid-chop. "What are you talking about?"
Tia joined them, her voice gentle but firm. "We know you've been seeing him again, Ki."
Rorie turned from the stove, wiping her hands on her apron. "We're worried about you, that's all."
KiKi's shoulders slumped. "It's not what you think. He's changed, he–"
"Girl, please," Ayesha interrupted. "That man has more lines than a geometry textbook."
"What about Miles?" Britt asked softly. "He really cares about you, Ki."
KiKi's eyes darted between her friends. "Miles is... he's great, but–"
"But nothing," Rorie said, moving closer to the group. "Miles is a good man who treats you right. Khalil? He's shown you who he is time and time again."
"Miles is actually on his way here," Tia added. "He should be arriving soon."
KiKi's eyes widened. "What? Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"Because we wanted to talk to you first," Rorie explained. "KiKi, you deserve someone who values you, who's ready for the same things you are. Give Miles a real chance."
KiKi was quiet for a moment, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I'm scared," she admitted finally. "What if I'm not good enough for him?"
The three friends enveloped KiKi in a group hug. "You are more than good enough," Rorie assured her. "Just be yourself. That's who Miles fell for in the first place."
As they broke apart, KiKi managed a small smile. "Okay, okay. I'll talk to him when he gets here."
"That's our girl," Tia grinned, playfully bumping KiKi's hip.
The kitchen buzzed with renewed energy as they continued their preparations, the air filled with the warmth of friendship and the promise of new beginnings. Outside, the sound of another car pulling up signaled Miles's arrival, and a fresh wave of anticipation swept through the house.
As Miles made his way inside, greeting everyone with warm hugs and handshakes, the women put the finishing touches on the meal. Rorie and Carmen carefully transferred the golden-brown turkey to a serving platter, while Tia and Britt arranged side dishes on the expansive dining table. KiKi, with a newfound determination in her eyes, volunteered to pour the wine, stealing glances at Miles as he chatted with Lewis and Anthony.
Soon, the dining room was filled with the enticing aromas of the feast and the soft glow of candles. As everyone settled into their seats, the room resonated with laughter and the clinking of cutlery. Miles had slid into the seat next to KiKi, offering her a warm smile that she tentatively returned.
Greg raised his glass, proposing a toast to family, friends, and new beginnings. As glasses clinked and the meal began in earnest, the room filled with animated conversation and the warmth of togetherness. Lewis eventually caught KiKi's eye and nodded towards the kitchen. Excusing themselves, they stepped away from the bustling dining room.
In the relative quiet of the kitchen, Lewis turned to KiKi, his expression serious. "KiKi, I owe you an apology. I was wrong to suspect you of talking to The Sun. I'm sorry for doubting you."
KiKi's shoulders relaxed slightly. "It's okay, Lewis. I understand why you might have thought that, given everything that's been going on."
Lewis nodded, relieved. "Still, I should have known better. You've always had our backs."
KiKi took a deep breath. "Actually, there's something I need to tell you. I was... kind of involved, but not in the way you think."
Lewis's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"Deja invited me out to lunch one day," KiKi explained. "When I got there, she started talking shit about Rorie. I left immediately, but... well, let's just say I handled it."
Lewis's eyes widened. "KiKi, what did you do?"
KiKi took a sip of her wine, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Let's just say the bitch knows better than to open her mouth again."
Lewis couldn't help but chuckle, shaking his head. "You're wild, you know that? But seriously, what did you do?"
KiKi just shrugged, a haunting smile playing on her lips. "Some things are better left unsaid, Lewis. Just know that I've always got your back – you and Rorie both."
Lewis studied her for a moment, then broke into a grin. "You really are a ride-or-die friend, aren't you?"
"You know it," KiKi winked. "Now, can we get back to dinner? I've got a fine ass man waiting for me out there."
As they rejoined the dinner party, Lewis couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude for the fierce loyalty of their friends. Whatever challenges lay ahead, he knew they had a strong support system to lean on.
Back at the table, Rorie caught Lewis's eye, raising an eyebrow in silent question. He gave her a reassuring smile, mouthing "Later" before diving back into the lively conversation around him. For now, he was content to enjoy this moment of warmth and togetherness with their extended family, savoring every bite of the lovingly prepared meal and every moment of laughter.
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On a sunny afternoon in California, Rorie stood outside Luisa's modest home in the Valley. The streets were lined with deciduous trees, their leaves a mix of golden yellows and deep reds, a reminder that even in sunny California, autumn had arrived. With Lewis still in Abu Dhabi preparing for his final race of the season, Rorie knew he and Julian would have a conniption if they knew she was there, but she needed answers.
Rorie adjusted the basket of toys and gifts in her arms, filled with items for Luisa's daughters - Isabella, now a vivacious 7-year-old, and Catalina, a precocious 9-year-old. She thought back to all the times she'd visited this house, the laughter and warmth that had always greeted her. Luisa had been more than just a housekeeper; she'd become family over the years.
Taking a deep breath, Rorie knocked. When Luisa opened the door, surprise and fear flashed across her face.
"Por favor, Luisa," Rorie pleaded, her Spanish much improved from their years together. "Necesitamos hablar."
A small smile cracked Luisa's stern expression. "Your Spanish gets better every time," she said softly.
"I had the best teacher," Rorie replied, her voice warm with affection.
After a moment's hesitation, Luisa stepped aside, allowing Rorie to enter. The familiar scent of coffee filled the air, mingling with the aroma of something savory simmering on the stove - perhaps Luisa's famous pozole, perfect for the cooler weather. It reminded Rorie of countless afternoons spent in this kitchen, chatting and laughing as Luisa taught her to make traditional Mexican dishes.
"Where are the girls?" Rorie asked, looking around the cozy living room, noticing the fall-themed decorations.
"With their abuelita at the park," Luisa replied, her voice softer now. "Mamá is visiting for the month."
Rorie's face lit up. "Oh, I've missed your mother! Her stories always make me laugh."
Luisa's tension eased slightly. "She misses you too. She asked about you just this morning."
They settled at the small kitchen table, soft autumn light filtering through the lace curtains Rorie had helped Luisa pick out last year.
"I'm so sorry, Rorie," she began, tears welling in her eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you or your family."
"Then why, Luisa? Why did you help Deja?"
Luisa took a shaky breath. "Alexander... he promised to help Miguel. He said he had connections at the embassy." She explained about Miguel being held up in Mexico after a short visit to see his parents and border patrol agents noting him missing certain documents claiming his resident status in the U.S. "But it's not true. They're just being difficult."
Rorie was stunned. "Luisa, why didn't you come to us? We could have helped Miguel!"
Luisa broke down, sobbing. "You've done so much for us already. I couldn't ask for more."
Rorie felt a mix of hurt and frustration. "Luisa, I love you like a sister. We would have helped in a heartbeat."
"I know that now," Luisa whispered. "I was scared and desperate."
Rorie reached across the table, taking Luisa's hand. "I understand. But we can fix this. I'll talk to Julian about not pressing charges and I’ll see what I can do about helping Miguel."
Luisa looked up, hope in her eyes. "Really?"
Rorie nodded. "But we need your help with our lawsuit against Deja. Maybe you could meet with her again?"
Luisa squeezed Rorie's hand. "Anything. I'll do anything to make this right."
After their emotional conversation, Rorie and Luisa spent some time catching up on lighter topics, the familiar rhythm of their friendship slowly returning. As they chatted, the front door burst open, and Isabella and Catalina rushed in, followed by their abuelita.
"Tía Rorie!" the girls squealed, throwing themselves into Rorie's arms.
Rorie hugged them tightly. She exchanged warm greetings with Luisa's mother, promising to visit again soon for a proper catch-up.
As Rorie prepared to leave, Luisa walked her to the door. "Thank you for coming, Rorie. For listening and understanding."
Rorie squeezed her hand. "We're family, Luisa. We'll get through this together."
On the drive back to Malibu, Rorie's mind wandered to her conversation with Lewis about KiKi. KiKi's ominous words about handling Deja worried her. While she appreciated KiKi's loyalty, they needed to ensure their case against The Sun and Deja was solid and above board. They couldn't afford any complications.
Arriving home, Rorie headed straight to the office area. As she settled in, Nina knocked softly on the door frame, Lyric balanced on her hip.
"Look who's up from his nap," Nina said with a smile.
Lyric's face lit up at the sight of Rorie. "Mama!" he squealed, reaching for her.
Rorie scooped him up, peppering his face with kisses. "Hello, my sweet boy. Did you have a good nap?"
Lyric nodded enthusiastically. "Play now?"
"In a little bit, baby," Rorie promised. "Mama has some important calls first. But after that, we'll have some playtime, okay?"
Lyric considered this for a moment before nodding. "Okay, Mama."
As Nina took Lyric back, Rorie called out, "Thanks, Nina. I should be done in about an hour."
"No problem," Nina replied. "We'll be in the playroom when you're ready."
Taking a deep breath, Rorie logged into Zoom for her interviews with potential personal assistants. Yael and Penni had screened several candidates, narrowing it down to two promising options.
The first candidate, Zoe, appeared on screen. She was a Black woman in her late twenties, with box braids pulled into a neat bun and warm, intelligent eyes. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Hamilton," she began confidently. "I'm excited to discuss how I can support you and your family."
Rorie was impressed by Zoe's organization and attention to detail as they discussed the role. "How would you handle a situation where the media is pressuring for a statement on a sensitive family matter?" Rorie asked.
Zoe's response was measured and thoughtful, demonstrating a good understanding of media management.
The second candidate, Olivia, was a white woman in her early thirties with auburn hair and an air of calm competence. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Hamilton," she said. "I understand the unique challenges of your position and I'm prepared to handle them discreetly and efficiently."
As they talked, Olivia demonstrated a solid understanding of crisis management. "In my previous role, I dealt with several high-profile situations," she explained. "Discretion and quick thinking are key."
By the end of the interviews, Rorie had a lot to consider. Both candidates had their strengths, but she knew she needed someone who could navigate the complexities of her life with grace and discretion.
As she ended the calls, Rorie made notes to discuss with Yael later. They had a tough decision ahead, but having a capable assistant would be crucial in managing her increasingly complicated life.
True to her word, an hour later, Rorie found herself in the playroom with Lyric, their laughter echoing through the house as they built towers with colorful blocks, the weight of the day's events temporarily forgotten in the joy of these precious moments with her son.
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As the 2023 F1 season officially came to a close, Lewis felt the familiar mix of fatigue and relief. After wrapping up his final promotional duties with his sponsors, he was more than ready for some quality family time. And boy, was it needed. Between the bullshit with Deja and The Sun, Rorie's impromptu visit to Luisa's home, and the scrap metal of a car he drove this season, he wanted nothing more than to relax. He'd wish that his wife would've gone over her plan before visiting their housekeeper, but he was happy to know that Luisa wanted to make it up to them.
Thank God for small miracles.
Lewis, Rorie, and Lyric made their way inside SoFi Stadium for the Denver Broncos vs. Los Angeles Chargers game. As part of the Broncos ownership group, they bypassed the main crowds, a discreet security detail ushering them towards a private elevator. Rorie couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement - no matter how many games they attended, the experience never got old.
The elevator doors opened to reveal a corridor of luxury suites, but theirs was special. At the end of the hall, a door marked with the Broncos logo slid open, revealing a space that was more akin to a high-end apartment than a typical stadium box.
Floor-to-ceiling windows led out to a private balcony that hung over the field, offering an unobstructed view of the action below. The players looked like action figures from this height, but the roar of the crowd was crystal clear.
"Wow," Rorie breathed, stepping out onto the balcony. The rush of being so close yet so far above the field still amazed her.
Lewis set Lyric down, the toddler immediately racing to the balcony railing, securely designed with little ones in mind.
"Mama, up!" Lyric demanded, his eyes wide with excitement at the bustling stadium below.
She chuckled, scooping up her son. "What do you think, sweetie? Pretty cool, huh?"
As they settled in, a staff member approached. "Mr. Hamilton, Mrs. Hamilton, is there anything special you'd like prepared for today's game?"
This was just one of the many perks they enjoyed - personalized service that catered to their every whim. As Lewis discussed some vegan options with the attendant, Rorie sank into one of the plush outdoor seats, Lyric clambering onto her lap.
She couldn't help but marvel at how far they'd come. From watching games on TV in Lewis's bachelor pad to owning a piece of an NFL team and enjoying this incredible view - life had certainly taken some unexpected turns. They were soon joined by other members of the ownership group, including Melody Hobson, a successful businesswoman and friend.
"Lewis, Rorie! So good to see you," Melody greeted them warmly. "And look how big Lyric's getting!"
As kickoff approached, Lewis found himself explaining the basics of American football to Lyric, who was more interested in the colorful uniforms and the massive screens around the stadium.
"See that, Lyric? Those are our guys in the orange," Lewis pointed out.
The game was a nail-biter, with both teams trading leads throughout. In between plays, Lewis chatted with fellow owners about potential team strategies and upcoming decisions. Rorie, meanwhile, was deep in conversation with Melody about balancing career and family life.
As the fourth quarter wound down, the Broncos managed to pull ahead with a last-minute touchdown. The box erupted in cheers, with Lyric joining in, more excited by the adults' reactions than the game itself.
"We won, little man!" Lewis exclaimed. "Can you say 'Go Broncos'?"
"Go Boncos!" Lyric attempted, causing Rorie to laugh.
"Close enough, baby," she said, ruffling his braids.
As the excitement settled, Melody approached them. "Great game, wasn't it? Lewis, have you given any thought to that youth program we discussed?"
Lewis nodded enthusiastically. "Absolutely. I think it's a fantastic idea. Maybe we can set up a meeting in the new year to flesh out the details?"
"Sounds perfect," Melody agreed. "Enjoy your family time. You've earned it after this season."
As they prepared to leave, Rorie spotted Ciara and Russell Wilson making their way over.
"Rorie! Lewis!" Ciara called out, embracing them both. "It's been too long."
Russell shook Lewis's hand warmly. "Congrats on a good season, man. And thanks for bringing that energy over to us."
They chatted for a few minutes, catching up on family life and recent events.
"We're heading out for pizza," Lewis mentioned. "Care to join us?"
Russell glanced at Ciara, who nodded. "We'd love to, but we've got an early flight tomorrow. Rain check?"
"Absolutely," Rorie agreed. "We'll set something up when we're back from Brazil."
After saying their goodbyes, Lewis, Rorie, and Lyric made their way to their favorite vegan pizza place in L.A. As they settled into a cozy booth, Lyric coloring contentedly, Lewis and Rorie finally had a moment to discuss their upcoming trip.
"So, Brazil," Lewis began, a smile playing on his lips. "I was thinking we could start in Rio, spend a few days there before heading to that secluded beach house in Bahia."
Rorie's eyes lit up. "That sounds perfect. Lyric will love the beach."
"Beach!" Lyric chimed in, clearly recognizing the word.
Lewis chuckled. "That's right, buddy. Lots of sand and waves for you to play in."
As their pizza arrived, they continued to plan their trip, discussing potential activities and places to visit.
"Oh, and I was thinking," Lewis added, lowering his voice slightly, "maybe we could have a few days just to ourselves? I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind watching Lyric for a bit."
Rorie raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Sir Hamilton, are you suggesting we sneak away for a romantic getaway?"
"Maybe," Lewis grinned. "After the year we've had, I think we deserve it, don't you?"
Rorie leaned in, kissing him softly. "I couldn't agree more."
"Is that right?" he whispered against her lips, being mindful of their impressionable toddler just a few feet away. "Are you going to f-u-c-k me like that one time during our honeymoon?"
Rorie’s eyes widened in recollection as they parted. "Oh, you mean with the ‘cuffs?" Her husband bit his bottom lip, nodding vigorously. "Maybe…as long as I can bring the new toy we’ve yet to use."
"You mean the–"
"Yes, exactly that and something else I bought just for you. Something with leather…"
Lewis’ mouth tilted into a mischievous grin. "I love winter break so much."
As they continued to enjoy their meal, the conversation flowed easily from travel plans to reflections on the past year and hopes for the future. The stress of the F1 season, the drama with Deja, and the challenges they'd faced seemed to melt away in the warmth of family time.
Later, as they drove home with a sleepy Lyric in the back seat, Lewis reached over and took Rorie's hand.
"Thank you," he said softly.
"For what?" Rorie asked, squeezing his hand.
"For everything. For being my rock, for giving me this beautiful family, for just... being you."
Rorie smiled, her eyes glistening slightly in the dim light. "Always, babe. We're in this together, remember?" Her eyes softened as she looked at her husband. "And speaking of being in this together... I've been thinking about what Dr. Chen said. About trying for another baby through IVF."
Lewis's breath caught slightly. "You have?"
"Yeah," Rorie said, her voice gentle. "I know it's been tough, but I think we're ready. If you are, that is."
Lewis was quiet for a moment, his thumb tracing circles on Rorie's hand. "I think I am," he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe... maybe we could start the process after we get back from Brazil?"
Rorie smiled, bringing his hand to her lips for a soft kiss. "I think that sounds perfect."
Lewis nodded, a mix of emotions playing across his face. "It won't be easy, but we've faced tougher challenges together."
"We have," Rorie agreed. "And just think, this time next year, we could be celebrating the holidays with a new addition to our family."
They got out of the car, carefully lifting a sleeping Lyric from his car seat. Lewis cradled Lyric close to his chest, feeling the weight of their decision.
"You know," he said softly, "no matter what happens, you and Lyric are more than enough. You're everything to me."
"And you're everything to us," she whispered back.
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A few days later, Rorie found herself in the heart of downtown Los Angeles, stepping out of a sleek black car onto the red carpet of a FWRD event. The evening air was crisp, and the city lights twinkled against the darkening sky.
Rorie smoothed down her outfit - a stunning, form-fitting black dress from the latest FWRD collection, paired with strappy heels and minimalist jewelry. Her hair was swept into an elegant bun, and her makeup was flawless, emphasizing her natural beauty.
As she made her way down the carpet, camera flashes erupted around her. Rorie smiled and posed, years of experience allowing her to navigate the media gauntlet with grace.
"Rorie! Over here!"
"Mrs. Hamilton, a moment please!"
"Rorie, who are you wearing tonight?"
She answered a few quick questions, her responses polished and warm. "I'm excited to be here supporting FWRD and their incredible new collection," she said to one reporter. "Fashion has always been a passion of mine, and FWRD continues to push boundaries in the industry."
Inside the venue, the atmosphere was electric. The space had been transformed into a chic, modern wonderland, with avant-garde installations showcasing the latest FWRD pieces. Rorie mingled with other celebrities, fashion insiders, and influencers, her natural charisma shining through in every interaction.
As she sipped on a glass of champagne, Rorie caught sight of her reflection in a nearby mirror. She looked every inch the successful, confident woman she was, but her mind couldn't help but wander to Lewis and Lyric at home, and the possibility of expanding their family. It was a balancing act, this life of glamour and domesticity, but one she navigated with increasing skill and appreciation.
The event began to wind down, and Rorie found herself reflecting on the night's significance. This was their last big event before heading off to Brazil for their family vacation. The excitement of their upcoming trip mingled with the lingering buzz of the fashion world.
Saying her goodbyes, Rorie stepped out into the cool night air. In the back of her town car, she kicked off her heels with a sigh of relief. She pulled out her phone, smiling at a text from Lewis:
Hope you had a great night. Can't wait to see you.
As the car wound its way through the LA streets, Rorie's mind drifted to their impending lawsuit, set for April of next year. It felt far away, yet ever-present in her thoughts. She made a mental note to touch base with Julian before they left for Brazil.
Arriving home, Rorie quietly made her way upstairs. She peeked into Lyric's room, her heart swelling at the sight of her peacefully sleeping son. Then, she slipped into her own bedroom, where Lewis was still awake, scrolling through his phone.
"Hey, beautiful," he said, looking up with a smile. "How was the event?"
Rorie sat on the edge of the bed, starting to remove her jewelry. "It was great. Lots of networking, and Kendall even mentioned a potential capsule collection with FWRD."
Lewis's eyes lit up. "That's fantastic, babe. You deserve it."
As Rorie unzipped her dress, she added, "I was thinking about the lawsuit on the way home. Should we check in with Julian before we leave?"
Lewis nodded, his expression turning serious. "Good idea. We can give him a call tomorrow. But for now," he patted the bed beside him, "let's focus on us. I miss you."
Rorie tossed her dress onto the chair, a playful glint in her eye as she caught Lewis's gaze. "Oh, you miss me, huh?" she teased, stepping closer to the bed in nothing but her lingerie. The way Lewis’s eyes darkened with desire made her feel powerful, and she decided to make the most of it.
Lewis leaned back against the pillows, his grin widening as he watched her. "You know I do," he replied, his voice low and smooth, filled with anticipation.
Rorie moved slowly, deliberately, letting the moment build. She unclasped her bra and let it slip from her shoulders, tossing it aside with a mischievous smile. "Maybe I miss you too," she said, her voice soft and teasing, as she slid under the covers next to him.
Lewis's hands were on her the moment she was within reach, his touch firm yet gentle as he pulled her closer. "Is that so?" he murmured against her ear, his breath warm on her skin.
Rorie giggled softly, her fingers tracing the lines of his jaw as she straddled him. "Mmhmm," she hummed, leaning down to brush her lips against his in a feather-light kiss. She loved the way he looked at her, as if she were the only person in the world, and she intended to make him feel the same way tonight.
Their kisses deepened, growing more intense as Lewis's hands roamed over her body, tracing the lines of her curves with fervent desire. Rorie felt a familiar heat building between them, her skin tingling at every touch and caress.
Lewis flipped them over effortlessly, his strong arms easily pinning her beneath him as he continued to kiss her deeply. "I've been going crazy thinking about you all night," he whispered against her lips, his voice rough and eager.
A smile tugged at the corners of Rorie's mouth as she ran her hands down his back, feeling the muscles tense under her touch. "Then why are we still wasting time talking?"
Without hesitation, Lewis shed his own clothing before returning to hover over her, their bodies pressed together in perfect synchronization. Agonizingly slow, Lewis positioned himself between her legs and gradually entered her, eliciting a low moan from Rorie's throat. Every inch of their bodies melded together now, their movements becoming more frantic and frenzied with each passing moment.
Her nails dug into Lewis's back, leaving faint red marks as she urged him on. She couldn't get enough of him, her body craving his touch again and again. Lewis's movements became more urgent, his hips thrusting harder and faster as he neared his release. Rorie's moans grew louder, her body arching up to meet his every move. She was close too, her skin flushed and her eyes half-lidded with desire.
"Just like that, don't stop, baby," she gasped, her voice filled with need and desire. "I'm so close."
"Fuck, baby," Lewis groaned, his fingers digging into Rorie's hips as he increased his pace. He was so close now, and he could feel Rorie trembling beneath him.
With one final thrust, they both reached their climax together, their bodies shuddering and crashing against each other in waves of ecstasy. Lewis collapsed onto the bed next to Rorie, both of them panting and trying to catch their breath.
"That was..." Rorie trailed off, unable to find the words to describe how amazing it felt.
"Unbelievable," Lewis finished for her with a satisfied grin. He rolled onto his side, pulling Rorie closer to him as they lay there in a blissful haze.
Rorie nuzzled her face into Lewis's chest, feeling content and happy in this moment with him. She loved these quiet moments after they made love, when they were just together without any distractions or obligations.
Lewis kissed the top of Rorie's head before pulling away slightly to look at her. "I love you so much," he said softly.
"I love you too," Rorie replied with a smile before leaning up to kiss him again.
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They touched down in Rio de Janeiro, where the city’s vibrant energy welcomed them like an old friend. Over the next few days, they immersed themselves in the rhythm of the city, exploring iconic sights and soaking up the atmosphere. They visited the breathtaking Corcovado Mountain, where the towering Christ the Redeemer statue watched over them, and spent time wandering through the colorful steps of Escadaria Selarón. Everywhere they went, the city buzzed with life, providing the perfect backdrop for their family adventures.
Lyric was utterly fascinated by the beaches of Copacabana and Ipanema. His little legs carried him excitedly across the warm sand, chasing after seagulls and marveling at the endless expanse of ocean. Lewis and Rorie took turns running after him, their laughter mingling with the sounds of the surf and the chatter of beachgoers. It was a carefree time, a brief escape from the pressures of the lawsuit and their next phase in expanding their family.
After their time in Rio, they traveled to a secluded beach house in Bahia. Here, the true relaxation began. The private stretch of coastline became their sanctuary, a place where they could unwind and reconnect as a family. Mornings were spent building sandcastles with Lyric, who giggled as the waves knocked them down, and afternoons were for lounging under the sun, the gentle breeze carrying away their worries.
That night, after putting Lyric to bed, Rorie and Lewis found themselves alone in the serene quiet of their beach house. The soft sound of waves crashing outside mixed with the gentle rustle of the warm night breeze filtering through the open windows. Moonlight poured into the room, casting a silvery glow that bathed everything in a soft, intimate light.
Rorie stood before Lewis, her naked body still glistening from the water droplets that clung to her skin after their shared bath. The steam from the bathroom still lingered in the air, carrying with it the faint scent of lavender. Her braids, damp and curly, cascaded over her shoulders, framing her face in a way that made Lewis's breath catch in his throat. She was breathtaking, and in that moment, she was all his.
Without a word, Rorie moved closer to him, her hips swaying slightly with each step. Lewis was already seated at the edge of the bed, his eyes dark with desire, following her every movement. His hands rested on his thighs, fingers twitching with anticipation. As she straddled him, her legs on either side of his, he reached out, his hands finding their place on her hips, pulling her closer until their bodies were pressed together.
Rorie leaned in, her lips brushing against his in a soft, teasing kiss. Lewis groaned softly, his hands gliding up her back, feeling the smoothness of her skin under his fingertips. She could feel the tension in his body, the way his muscles tensed as he held himself back, savoring the moment.
She kissed him again, deeper this time, her tongue slipping past his lips in a slow, sensual dance. Lewis responded eagerly, his hands roaming over her body, exploring every curve, every inch of her that he could touch. His lips trailed down her neck, pressing kisses along her collarbone, tasting the faint saltiness of her skin.
Rorie moaned softly, her body arching into his touch, the heat between them building with each passing second. She could feel him hard beneath her, the evidence of his desire pressing against her thigh. She moved her hips slightly, teasing him, eliciting a low growl from deep within his chest.
"You're going to be the death of me," Lewis murmured against her skin, his voice thick with need.
Rorie smiled, her hands cupping his face, bringing his lips back to hers. "Then let me bring you to life," she whispered, her words a promise.
With a gentle push, she guided him to lie back on the bed, her body following his down until she was atop him, their bodies perfectly aligned. She could feel the heat of him between her legs, the ache of desire that pulsed through her, begging for release. Slowly, she lowered herself onto him, taking him in inch by inch, a soft gasp escaping her lips as he filled her completely.
"Jesus Christ, baby." Lewis's hands gripped her hips, guiding her as she began to move, a slow, deliberate rhythm that drove them both wild. "Yes, ride this dick, baby. Fuck…"
Rorie's head fell back, her long bohemian knotless braids spilling down her back as she rode him, the pleasure building with each thrust. The feel of him inside her, the way his hands caressed her body, sent shivers down her spine. "Shit, Lewis....mmhmmm..."
Their movements became more urgent, the rhythm faster, more desperate. The bed creaked beneath them, the sound mingling with their heavy breathing, the soft moans and gasps that escaped them both. Rorie leaned forward, her hands braced against his chest, her lips finding his once more as they moved together, their bodies in perfect sync.
But just as their passion reached its peak, they heard a tiny voice at the door. "Mama? Dada?"
They froze, their eyes widening in surprise. Lyric stood in the doorway, clutching his stuffed bunny, looking at them with innocent curiosity.
Rorie quickly covered herself, biting back a laugh. "Oh, sweetie, what are you doing up?"
Lyric toddled over to the bed, his eyes wide as he tried to climb up. "Bunny fell," he said simply, holding up the toy.
Lewis couldn’t help but chuckle as he rolled off the bed to put on a pair of boxers. He then scooped up their son, settling him on his hip. "Well, looks like we’ll have to continue this later," he said, giving Rorie a knowing look.
Rorie sighed, glancing at Lyric with a mix of amusement and exasperation. "My parents cannot come fast enough," she muttered, though she couldn’t help but smile at the way Lyric snuggled beside Lewis, oblivious to what he had interrupted.
Lewis grinned, pulling Lyric closer. "We’ll have our time. I’m going to put him back to bed."
As Lewis carried Lyric back to his room, Rorie slipped on a silk robe and followed them. She leaned against the doorframe, watching as Lewis gently tucked their son back into bed.
"There you go, little man," Lewis said softly, placing the bunny next to Lyric. "Bunny's all safe now. Time for sleep, okay?"
Lyric nodded sleepily, his eyes already drooping. "Night, Dada. Night, Mama," he mumbled.
Rorie stepped forward, pressing a soft kiss to Lyric's forehead. "Goodnight, baby. Sweet dreams."
They quietly left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. In the hallway, Lewis pulled Rorie close, his arms wrapping around her waist.
"Now, where were we?" he murmured, his lips brushing against her ear.
Rorie chuckled softly, placing a hand on his chest. "Hold that thought. We should probably make sure he's actually asleep this time."
Lewis groaned playfully but nodded in agreement. They retreated to their bedroom, leaving their door open to listen for any more midnight wanderings from their son.
As they settled back onto the bed, Rorie curled up next to Lewis, her head resting on his chest. "You know," she said, tracing patterns on his skin, "as much as I'm looking forward to some alone time with you, I'm going to miss him when my parents take him for those few days."
Lewis nodded, running his fingers through her hair. "I know what you mean. But it'll be good for us to have that time together, especially before we start the IVF process."
Rorie looked up at him, her eyes soft in the dim light. "Are you nervous about it? The IVF, I mean."
Lewis was quiet for a moment, considering. "A little," he admitted. "But mostly, I'm excited. The thought of giving Lyric a sibling, of expanding our family… it feels right."
Rorie smiled, leaning up to kiss him softly. "It does, doesn't it?"
As they lay there, talking softly about their hopes and plans, the interruption from earlier faded into just another cherished moment of parenthood. The night stretched on, filled with quiet laughter and tender touches, a perfect prelude to the adventures that awaited them in the days to come.
_______________________________________________
A few days later, Rorie's parents, Marian and Greg, arrived at the beach house. The Hamiltons welcomed them warmly, grateful for the extra hands with Lyric and the chance to catch up.
One afternoon, as they lounged on the patio enjoying the ocean breeze and some fresh fruit, Marian decided to broach the subject of recent events back home.
"So," Marian began, running a hand through Lyric’s braids, "any news about Martin? Has he tried to contact you guys again?"
Rorie nodded, her expression concerned. "He called a few times last week. Keeps saying he wants to talk to me, to explain himself. What’s happening back at home?"
Greg added, "The paparazzi situation hasn't improved much. They're still camped out near the house most days."
Rorie sighed. "I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this because of me."
"Don't you dare apologize," Marian said firmly. "We're family. We handle these things together."
Lewis reached over and squeezed Rorie's hand. "Your mom's right. And we'll figure out how to deal with Martin and the media. We're not letting them ruin our time here."
As they continued to discuss the challenges ahead, Lyric, perched on Marian's lap, happily munched on a piece of mango, oblivious to the adult concerns.
"So, sweetie," Marian cooed at her grandson, changing the subject, "what have you been up to with Mama and Dada?"
Lyric's face lit up. "Mama Dada hug!" he exclaimed, his limited vocabulary conveying the essence of what he'd seen a few nights ago. "A lot!"
Rorie and Lewis exchanged a quick, embarrassed glance. Greg raised an eyebrow, a knowing smirk playing on his lips.
"Is that so?" Greg chuckled. "Lots of hugging going on, eh?"
Rorie felt her cheeks flush. "Dad, please," she mumbled, while Lewis suddenly became very interested in his drink.
Marian laughed softly, bouncing Lyric on her knee. "Oh, leave them be, Greg. They're young and in love."
Eager to change the subject again, Lewis cleared his throat. "Actually, I've got some news. My 2025 contract with Ferrari is through. I just need to sign to make it official."
The family erupted in excited congratulations, the mood lifting instantly.
"That's fantastic news, Lewis!" Greg exclaimed, clapping him on the back. "Ferrari, huh? That's quite a change."
Marian beamed, "We're so proud of you, dear. Both of you," she added, smiling at Rorie.
"Thanks," Lewis grinned, visibly relaxed now that the news was out. "It's a big move, but I'm ready for the challenge."
Rorie squeezed his hand, her eyes shining with pride. "He's been working so hard for this. I can't wait to see him in that red suit."
"Red! Like Elmo!" Lyric chimed in, making everyone laugh.
"That's right, buddy," Lewis chuckled, ruffling his son's hair. "Daddy's going to be like Elmo."
Greg stood up, stretching. "Well, I think this calls for a celebration. How about we fire up the grill? We've got that fresh fish in the fridge, and I picked up some plantains earlier."
"Ooh, yes!" Rorie agreed enthusiastically. "And I can make that mango salsa you love, Mom."
"Perfect," Marian nodded. "Lewis, why don't you and Greg handle the grill? I know you're vegan, sweetie, but could you grill some vegetables for yourself?"
"Of course," Lewis smiled. "I saw some great-looking bell peppers and zucchini in the kitchen."
As they all moved to start preparing the impromptu celebratory dinner, Lewis scooped up Lyric. "Come on, little man. Want to help Daddy and Grandpa with the grill?"
"Yes! Help!" Lyric clapped his hands excitedly.
The patio soon buzzed with activity. Greg and Lewis stood by the grill, with Greg seasoning the fish and Lewis preparing his vegetables. Lyric "helped" by handing them utensils and watching in fascination as Greg sliced the plantains. In the kitchen, Rorie and Marian chopped fruits and vegetables for the salsa and side dishes, the rhythmic sound of their knives punctuated by laughter as they shared stories.
The afternoon stretched into evening, filled with delicious food, flowing conversation, and the warmth of family. As they sat around the table, enjoying their meal under the starry sky, the worries of paparazzi and complicated family dynamics seemed far away. For now, they were simply a family, celebrating good news and cherishing their time together.
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As New Year's Eve approached, Rorie and Lewis prepared for their night out in Salvador. They said goodbye to Lyric, leaving him in the capable hands of his grandparents.
"You two have fun," Marian said, shooing them out the door. "We've got everything under control here."
"Thanks, Mom," Rorie said, giving her a quick hug. "We'll see you next year," she added with a wink.
Rorie and Lewis headed towards the city, and the excitement of the coming celebrations and the promise of new beginnings filled the air. They found themselves in the heart of the historic Pelourinho district, surrounded by music, laughter, and the infectious spirit of Bahia.
Rorie, dressed in a flowing green lace dress that caught the warm breeze, swayed to the rhythm of the samba playing in the square. Her eyes sparkled with excitement, enhanced by the few caipirinhas she'd enjoyed throughout the evening.
"Come on, babe!" she called to Lewis, grabbing his hand and pulling him closer. "Dance with me!"
Lewis, sober but caught up in the festive atmosphere, laughed as he allowed Rorie to guide him in the dance. Though he wasn't as fluid as the locals, he moved with the natural grace of an athlete.
"You're getting better at this," Rorie teased, her arms draped around his neck.
Lewis grinned, his hands on her waist. "I've got a good teacher."
As midnight approached, they made their way to the beach where thousands had gathered to watch the fireworks. The crowd was a sea of white, following the Brazilian tradition for good luck in the new year.
"Ten! Nine! Eight!" The countdown began, and Lewis pulled Rorie close.
"Seven! Six! Five!" Rorie's eyes met Lewis's, full of love and anticipation.
"Four! Three! Two! One! Feliz Ano Novo!"
The sky erupted in a dazzling display of fireworks, but Lewis and Rorie were lost in their own world as they shared a deep, passionate kiss.
"Happy New Year, love," Lewis murmured against her lips.
Rorie smiled, her forehead resting against his. "Happy New Year. Here's to new beginnings."
As the celebration continued around them, they stood there on the beach, arms wrapped around each other, watching the fireworks paint the sky. The promise of the year ahead - with all its potential joys and challenges - stretched out before them, but in that moment, they were content to simply be together, savoring the magic of a new year's beginning in this beautiful corner of the world.
"You know," Rorie said, her voice slightly slurred from the drinks, "I think this might be my favorite New Year's Eve ever."
Lewis chuckled, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Even better than the one in Aspen?"
Rorie pretended to think for a moment. "Okay, maybe it's a tie. But this one definitely has better weather."
The fireworks faded and the crowd began to disperse, and Lewis and Rorie decided to take a moonlit walk along the beach before heading back to their hotel. The warm sand beneath their feet and the sound of the waves created a perfect end to their night of celebration.
"We should properly celebrate," Rorie murmured, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Especially since we don't have to worry about being interrupted."
Lewis grinned, understanding her meaning immediately, and his hands found their way to her ass. "I like the way you think, Mrs. Hamilton."
Rorie laughed and playfully swatted at his hand. "Not here," she whispered, glancing around to make sure no one was nearby. "You gotta wait until we’re back at the hotel."
When they finally reached the privacy of their hotel room, the door had barely clicked shut behind them before Lewis had Rorie pressed against it, his lips crashing down onto hers in a searing kiss. She responded eagerly, her hands threading through his hair, pulling him closer as their bodies pressed together.
Lewis's hands roamed over her curves, squeezing her ass as he deepened the kiss. His tongue teased hers, exploring the warmth of her mouth with a skillful rhythm that left her breathless. Rorie moaned softly against his lips, her body tingling with anticipation as her hands worked to unbutton his shirt, revealing the hard planes of his chest.
Breaking the kiss, she pushed him back just enough to give herself some space, her hands trailing down his torso, appreciating the firm muscles beneath her fingertips. "Get on the bed," she commanded softly, her voice laced with desire.
Lewis grinned, his eyes dark with lust as he obeyed, quickly shedding the rest of his clothes before lying back on the bed. Rorie followed, slowly stripping out of her own clothes, letting each piece drop to the floor in a deliberate, tantalizing manner. She could feel his eyes on her, drinking in every inch of her as she revealed herself to him.
Once she was completely naked, Rorie reached for the small duffle bag they’d packed for the trip, her fingers brushing against the new toy she’d brought along for their special night. She pulled it out—a sleek, remote-controlled clitoral vibrator. The look on Lewis’s face when he saw it made her smile with satisfaction.
Rorie crawled onto the bed, straddling Lewis's thighs as she held up the toy, her eyes locking onto his. "I thought we could finally try this new toy," she said, her voice sultry as she flicked the vibrator on, the soft hum filling the room.
Lewis’s breath hitched, his eyes narrowing with a mix of curiosity and arousal. "You’re full of surprises tonight," he murmured, his hands sliding up her thighs, gripping her hips as he watched her intently.
Rorie leaned down, kissing him deeply as she guided the toy between her legs, pressing it against her clit. She gasped at the sensation, the gentle vibrations sending pleasure coursing through her body. Lewis groaned against her mouth, clearly enjoying the way she was responding.
She pulled back slightly, her hands gripping his shoulders as she began to ride him, the vibrator nestled between them, heightening the sensation with each movement. Lewis’s hands moved to her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her taut nipples as he thrust up to meet her movements, each motion sending waves of pleasure through her.
The combination of the toy and the feel of Lewis inside her was intoxicating. Rorie’s head fell back, her moans growing louder as she moved faster, her body trembling with the intensity of her arousal. She could feel herself getting closer, the pleasure building to a point where it was almost too much to bear.
"Fuck, you’re amazing," Lewis groaned, his grip on her tightening as he thrust up harder, his dick hitting that perfect spot inside her over and over again. "Come for me, baby. I want to feel you come all over this dick."
"Lewis!" she gasped, her hands clutching his shoulders as the pleasure wracked her body. "Oh, God, I’m coming so hard!"
Rorie finally shattered, her body convulsing as she came, the pleasure washing over her in waves. The vibrator fell to the side as she clung to Lewis, riding out her orgasm until she was spent.
But Lewis wasn’t done. He flipped them over, pinning her beneath him as he thrust into her, his pace relentless as he chased his own release. Rorie could feel him, still rock hard inside her, and the aftershocks of her orgasm made her even more sensitive, every thrust sending sparks of pleasure through her.
She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, her nails digging into his back as he drove them both toward the edge once more. His name was a mantra on her lips, each moan urging him on.
"Fuck, yes," Lewis groaned, thrusting into her one last time before his own release took over, spilling himself deep inside her with a guttural moan. "Rorie, oh fuck…"
They stayed tangled together, their bodies slick with sweat and the remnants of their passion. Lewis pulled Rorie into his arms and held her close as they both caught their breath.
"Holy shit, woman," he murmured against her hair, pressing a kiss to her temple.
Rorie smiled, still feeling the afterglow of their lovemaking. "Worth the wait?" she teased, snuggling closer to him.
"Absolutely," Lewis replied, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "But next time, I’m not waiting until we get back to the hotel. I’m just gonna fuck you on the beach."
Rorie laughed softly, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on his chest. "You’re insatiable."
"For you, always," he said, his hand gently caressing her back as they drifted off to sleep, their hearts full and their bond stronger than ever.
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As the first day of January dawned, Deja stood before her bathroom mirror, examining the fading bruises on her body. The assault in late November had left its mark, both physically and emotionally. While the acute pain had subsided, a dull ache remained, a constant reminder of the attack.
Her fingers traced a yellowing bruise on her ribcage as her mind drifted back to that fateful night in New Orleans during the 2017 All-Star weekend. The memories were vivid, almost taunting in their clarity.
The pulsing beat of the club, the electric atmosphere of celebrity and excitement. She remembered the way Lewis had looked at her, or at least how she thought he had looked at her. His smile, the warmth of his hand on her lower back as they danced, the intoxicating mix of his cologne and the whiskey on his breath.
"You're special," she thought she heard him say, the words barely audible over the music. But had he really said it? Or was it just what she wanted to hear?
Deja shook her head, forcing herself back to the present. The attack had thrown a wrench in her plans, forcing her to cancel appearances and partnership deals to focus on healing. It had also planted a seed of paranoia. Who was responsible? The attacker had robbed her, yes, but the beating felt personal. A nagging suspicion that Rorie might be involved refused to leave her mind, though she had no proof. She picked up her phone, scrolling through recent photos of Lewis and Rorie at public events. Their happiness felt like a personal affront, fueling the bitterness that had driven her actions.
The alliance with The Sun and Alexander had seemed like the perfect revenge, a way to shatter the perfect image of the Hamilton family. But now, as she sat alone in her apartment, nursing her injuries and haunted by memories, Deja couldn't help but question her choices.
Her phone buzzed - another message from Alexander, demanding more information. She ignored it at first, the weight of her decisions pressing down on her. The revenge she had sought was leaving a bitter taste in her mouth, and the collateral damage to people like Luisa was weighing heavily on her conscience.
But pride and stubbornness kept her from backing down. She had come too far to turn back now. Steeling herself to respond to Alexander, Deja couldn't shake the feeling that she was on a path that would only lead to more pain - for everyone involved.
TO BE CONTINUED…..
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veronicaphoenix · 2 months ago
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until the stars stop shining | noah sebastian
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previous part to all that's left, but it can be read as a one shot.
summary: noah and his girl spend an evening by the lake | words: 1.2k | reading time: 5mins
tags & trigger warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff. noah is an illustrator, reader loves baking cookies, mentions of noah having been reader's first, and that's it—they love each other a ton.
This is for the anon that asked for something sweet and fluffy after i posted All That's Left. I hope this does it. It's not actually a standalone work, but a sort of flashback belonging to the same story where All That's Left happens. I have a full plot developed in my head, but I can't tell if I'll ever write it and post it, so here goes this little thing where you get to know a little bit more of those characters and the story.
Thank you for all your constant love and support <3
 ͢ until the stars stop shining
Noah leaned back in the Muskoka chair, one leg lazily stretched out, balancing his sketchbook on his lap. He was shirtless, only wearing his bathing suit. For over an hour, he had been sketching, savoring the tranquil solitude offered by the lake, the warm caress of the late afternoon sun, and the rustling of leaves. Early fall was the perfect time for moments like this, when nature felt intimate and unhurried. Most of the tourists had long gone, leaving behind only the soft chorus of birds and the quiet murmur of waves licking the shore.
The breeze teased the pages of his sketchbook, carrying with it the crisp scent of pine needles and the rhythmic whisper of water against the rocks. Noah’s pencil glided in slow, thoughtful strokes as he tried to capture the scene before him, but his thoughts drifted constantly to his girl.
The door to the cottage creaked open right then, and she stepped outside. She carried a wooden tray filled with oat cinnamon cookies, their powdered sugar dusting glinting in the soft afternoon light. The sweet, comforting aroma mingled with the crisp air, making Noah smile to himself even without glancing back. 
She padded softly down the dock, her bare feet almost silent against the worn wood, and placed the tray on the armrest of his chair, her fingers grazing his shoulder in a brief, affectionate touch.
“I baked something,” she said, her voice carrying that familiar warmth. Of course she had. Baking was her favorite thing to do.  “Something sweet for my favorite artist.”
Noah grinned as he finally looked at her, his eyes catching on the spot of flour smeared across her nose. She had no idea it was there, and he decided not to tell her—she looked adorable like that.
“You need to refill your energy after working so hard for hours on end,” she pointed out as she glanced at the open sketchbook on his lap. 
Instead of reaching for a cookie, Noah broke off a small piece and gently brought it to her lips. Her smile widened as she took a bite, the sweetness melting on her tongue. A moment later, he let out a soft chuckle, reaching to brush a crumb off her lip with the pad of his thumb. His eyes lingered on her for a beat longer before dropping back to his half-finished sketch.
“I’m not half as good at drawing as you are at baking,” he admitted.
She tilted her head, glancing at the sketch. “This one looks pretty good to me, Noah.”
He smirked, a playful gleam in his eyes. “Wait until you see the one I did last night, after you fell asleep on the couch.”
“Why do you find it so entertaining to draw me?”
His gaze softened as he looked back at her. “Because you’re my favorite subject.”
That’s when he bopped her nose, making the flour stain disappear.
Her grin was bright and effortless as she leaned over the back of his chair, wrapping her arms around his neck. She rested her chin on his shoulder, close enough to feel his warmth. “And you’re my favorite person to bake for,” she whispered.
Noah’s cheeks flushed slightly at her words, a rare blush coloring his usually composed expression. She kissed the warm skin of his left cheek, lingering for just a moment before pulling away with a satisfied smile. She wandered toward the edge of the dock, her bare feet padding softly against the wooden planks. She sat down, her legs hanging off the edge.
Noah watched her for a moment, admiring how the wind gently tousled her hair and the way the light danced off her skin. The contentment in her posture, the way her eyes reflected the colors of the setting sun—everything about this moment felt perfect.
“You ever gonna let me teach you how to swim?” Noah asked.
She hesitated for a moment, her gaze fixed on the water before she responded quietly, “I don’t know... I’m still a bit scared of it.” She dipped her feet a little deeper, letting the cool water lap around her ankles. “But... I love being here. With you.”
The memory of that first visit just the two of them was vivid in both their minds. This was Jolly’s cottage, the same place where Noah and her had meet back when she was still fourteen and he was eighteen. They had spent countless of weekends and birthdays and fourths of July in this very same place. But nothing had been as special as the weekend Noah convinced Jolly to let him stay with her, alone. It had been six years since then, and even now, the memory of taking her virginity—in Jolly’s bed—was still as clear as water.  
Noah watched as the wind played with her hair, blowing soft strands across her face. He picked up his sketchbook again, unable to resist capturing her in this moment—the peacefulness, the effortless beauty. His pencil moved in quick, steady strokes as he sketched her sitting at the edge of the dock, her feet in the water, the sun casting an orange glow over the horizon. He knew that one day, he would marry this girl. There was no question in his mind.
Once satisfied with the drawing, Noah quietly set his sketchbook aside and rose from the chair. He walked over to her with slow, deliberate steps, his heart swelling as he took in the sight of her in this perfect, secluded spot. Without warning, he bent down, pretending to lift her by the underarms as if he were about to toss her into the water.
She yelped in surprise, her heart leaping as she felt her feet lift off the dock. “Noah!” 
Before she could fully react, Noah pulled her back into his arms, turning her around to face him. She clung to him, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, her arms tightening around his neck, her pulse racing from the surprise.
“Don’t you dare!” she gasped, breathless from both fear and thrill, burying her face against his neck.
Noah laughed with her, holding her close, feeling her warm breath against his skin. “I wouldn’t let you go that easily,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to her temple.
Still holding her, Noah carried her over to the blanket they had left spread out on the dock earlier. He gently laid her down, her body sinking into the soft fabric, and then settled beside her. 
“Don’t you ever,” she started to say, “ever, let me drown, Noah Sebastian.”
“Never ever,” he promised, showing her his pinky finger. 
She laced it with hers and finally, she let out a heavy sigh and cuddled closer to him, nuzzing her cheek against his bare shoulder. 
They lay close, facing each other, their fingers lazily tracing along each other’s arms and faces. Neither spoke for a long while. Her fingers trailed down his chest while his hand rested lightly on her hip. Above them, the stars began to appear, one by one, until the sky was a dark, glittering canvas. The moon’s reflection shimmered on the water.
“How long will you love me?” Noah asked, his voice barely louder than the breeze.
She gazed at him, eyes warm and steady. She placed the most tender of kisses on his lips.
“Until the stars stop shining.”
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angelwishess · 23 days ago
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𝜗𝜚 Floyra Intro Post !
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❝Because theres no one on the land or in the sea more in sync than those two.❞
|| playlist. || moodboard. || pinterest quotes. || pinterest board. || (<- in the “Dynamic w Floyd” section!) { A more “emotional” yap session of Floyra and how much deeper their relationship is }
Floyra is the ship of my main oc, Kyra and Floyd! Kyra is my Yuusona twisted from the Disney Princess Stereotype.
This intro post is just to graph out the timeline and details of their relationship. Funfacts at the end :3 (Fair warning though, this ended up being SUPER long… So feel free just to skip to the funfacts if you want HAHAHA)
Please note I may or may not have changed some things in the canon storyline for my own amusement hehe. Nothing too major though.
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Tropes :
Idiots to Lovers, Bestfriends to Lovers, Soulmates, literally the DENSEST people ever … Actually they’re more like cowards. Mutual pining, mutual SIMPING they ADORE eachother they are absolutely WHIPPED, chaotic lovey dovey couple, tooth-rotting fluff, no i mean seriously this is the fluffiest ship EVER, they make eachother both better and worse simultaniously. They share the same braincell. Basically already a couple before they even start dating but they dont realize it.
Kyra: “What?? Ofc we’re not dating lmao wdym we’re just friends!!” <- just held his face tenderly and looked into his eyes adoringly while calling him the prettiest boy in the world and kissing his face all over
Floyd: “yeah lol why would u think that” <- arm around her waist, basically always looking at her with a dopey grin and heart eyes
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First Impressions
When Floyd heard that there was an unexpected appearance of a magicless student at the entrance ceremony that blazed in with a flaming fire tanuki and set fire to the mirror chamber, he was intrigued. When he learned that very same student was, quite literally, from an entirely different world, he was even more intrigued.
Not to mention the fact she lived in that rundown, deteriorating 'dorm' that was literally called Ramshackle, and she was almost expelled with two other guppies on the very first day of school.
But, when he saw her for himself he was... Disappointed.
Often times she just stood by the sidelines, seemingly in her own world with a far-off look in her eyes and an empty smile that ticked him off for no apparent reason.
She never reacted to anything, letting people walk over her like some sort of welcome mat. Somehow, she didn't even feel alive.
To put it bluntly— Floyd thought she was boring.
Just a wimpy, puny little shrimp who didn't even have any magic. Who wouldn't even run away if her life was on the line, weak and defenseless. Naive. How boring, and here he thought he had another play thing... But wheres the fun if he doesn't get a reaction out of it? How lame.
Kyra and Floyd only officially met during book 2.
Kyra passed by Floyd a bunch of times before— but never actually ‘saw’ him. Floyd on the other hand, already had an opinion of Kyra.
Seeing her just simply standing by the sidelines again and saying nothing and just… Staring. He decided to finally approach her straight up.
Deciding to give her a squeeze for the fun of it— he didn’t expect at all for her to hug him back and basically turn the situation on him instead. It flustered him, and made him walk away from the whole scene out of confusion and embarrassment.
Despite everything, Kyra thought Floyd was amusing. and insanely pretty.
Building Interest …
As time passed they seemed to keep catching glimpses of eachother. And with each passing day, she seemed to get more and more... Interesting.
Facing overblots despite having no magic, causing trouble left and right and getting into such ridiculous situations it makes you wonder how she does everything she does without getting tired of how absurd it all is.
When his first impression of her was her being ‘boring', his second was her being naive. How else could you explain it? She had to be either ridiculously brave or incredibly stupid and naive to do the things that she does.
Kyra and Floyd don’t have any notable interactions until the main events of Book 3.
When Kyra decided to strike up a deal with Azul to free all of the students under a contract— Floyd thought she was stupid. Naive, and way too easy of a target. It was laughable. It basically confirmed everything he thought of her.
As Floyd and Jade were monitoring Kyra and Grim as they packed up their things, Kyra acted as if nothing major was happening. Talking to them and cracking jokes like they were old friends. It was then Floyd and Kyra found out they might be more similar than they thought, saying the same things at the same time and holding the same opinions.
When Kyra almost dropped a bag of her things, Floyd helped from impulse. He laughed it off, but Kyra decided to give him a kiss on the cheek as a ‘thank you’.
He froze in place. Not expecting that kind of reaction from her once again, and just kind of… Staring at her as she passed. Jade had another laugh at his brother.
When Kyra first saw Floyd in his merform, he took the chance to try and scare her a little. Just for fun. But just like before— it totally backfired, and Kyra just looked at her with the same wonder as she did the first time. She had the nerve to call him ‘Beautiful’ under her breath, too.
So, Floyd simply swam away after realizing she wasn’t going to give him the reaction he wanted, deciding to play with someone who will.
But when he tried to attack a nearby friend of hers— She punched him straight in the face! A fire burning in her eyes as she straight up threatened him.
Floyd was… Confused. Confused about Kyra, i mean. One moment she was staring at him like he was a of work of art, the next shes throwing hands at him with zero hesitation. He thought she was a pushover— but maybe he was wrong.
She had guts, though. Thats for sure. A magicless little thing like her deciding to put her hands up and fight, even threatening him? A 13ft long eelmer that could rip her apart without a sweat? Something about it.. Scared him a little. Ending up with a bloodied nose, staring down someone who didn’t show any fear or any regret.
Floyd always wanted a challenge. But did he expect that challenge to come in a 5’7 package, decorated with pretty pink bows? No, not at all.
But thats something. And boy, does Floyd love the thrill of the unexpected. After this interaction that past intrigue he had in her before came back 2 times stronger.
It only worsened when Kyra’s little plan to destroy Azul’s contracts actually worked… And Floyd got chills seeing the look on her face.
It was so unlike what he thought of her. A big, smug grin. The face of someone who knows they already won. It was almost malicious. And it was then he realized— she wasn’t as dumb or as naive as he thought she was, either.
But when they got back to the Lounge, it so happened that Leona seemed to have missed one, single contract. When they spotted it, Kyra was the first to react. Managing to grab it before Azul.
Azul wasn’t too happy about it, screeching and yelling for her to give it to him, grabbing her while doing so.
And in that moment of tension, of fear and action, she did something that shocked everyone. In the face of danger, she held the sole contract tightly in her hands and she—
…She ate the contract.
She shoved the glowing papering in her mouth, and swallowed the thing. And it worked. Honestly they didn’t know which was more ridiculous… Her decision, or the fact it was a success.
She grinned so widely, so proudly. She had the nerve to even laugh in Azul’s face. “Yeah, thats right! Screw you, octoboy!”
Floyd couldn’t surpress the laughter that bubbled up his throat watching it all go down. The sound of her laugh ringing in his ears. It was just so… Ridiculous. She was ridiculous.
She had just outsmarted Azul… And the best solution she could think of was to eat the contract? It was downright cartoonish!
But when Azul overblotted, Floyd got to see Kyra in action. He was surprised all over again. But he should be used to it by now, he should expect it. She just keeps surprising him.
She was no pushover— rising up to the challenge when needed. Even if she still acted unserious, even if she acted goofy and wild, she still got down to business and made it work nonetheless.
And he realized she wasn’t anything like what he thought of her before. She was… Nothing like what he thought. Always surpassing his expectations of her no matter how much they changed.
Everytime he thought he had her figured out, she goes and does something that makes him rethink it all over again…
She was very, very interesting. And now, shes got his full attention.
Strangers to Besties!
After the main events of Book 3, Floyd had started following around Kyra more often. Actually, scratch that. He started following her around constantly. She eventually apologized for punching him in the face, too. Surprisingly.
Realizing they were actually very similar, they began hanging out more and more, until they eventually became an inseperable duo that everyone knew about.
At first, most were surprised. Kyra had only just started coming out of her shell, so most were still under the impression she was a sweet, mild mannered young girl.
But after befriending Floyd— all of her self-control truly did go flying out of the window. If she was bad before, she was even worse now. Freely skipping classes more often without a care to go find Floyd, trying to juggle live fish in the courtyard, or jumping out of a window just to escape some of the staff. and the like.
Late night adventures, dancing in the rain, sneaking out of class, spontaneous hang outs and sleepovers, pulling pranks and causing trouble left and right… They were so in sync, its was scary. Kyra was almost like a second Floyd, and everyone knew that it was probably best to run in the other direction when you see them side by side.
No matter what the situation, they always had eachother’s back, too.
It was strange to think they were ever strangers. They felt like they’ve known eachother for years— thats how well they’ve grown to know eachother. They were as thick as thieves!
Hanging out everyday, whenever they could, they just had so much fun together all the time!
To everyone’s dismay, of course. They were far too in sync, if the chaos around one of them was bad it combined when they were together.
Floyd finally found someone who could keep up with him, and even better, keep him on his toes. Kyra surprised him everyday, and thats what he loved. He found someone who understood him, too.
Kyra on the otherhand, found someone who encouraged all of her once repressed desires. She found someone she could be herself with, with no fear of judgement.
Never one without the other, those two. Wherever Kyra was Floyd was surely close to follow, and wherever Floyd was Kyra was most definetly near. They followed eachother around, always stayed close to one another.
Slowly, they’ve grown to not only seek eachother out to go and have fun, but also for comfort.
Platonic ..?
What started as a simple friendship which focused on the high of ‘having fun’ and causing trouble, or just basically being partners in crime— slowly turned into something much more… Intimate.
When Floyd stormed all the way to Ramshackle after a bad day at Mostro Lounge, he didn’t really know what to expect, he just wanted to get away from everyone else and Ramshackle was the best place he could think of.
He didn’t expect Kyra to be so caring. Pulling him into her arms and running her fingers through his hair while encouraging him to rant.
Kyra had always been an affectionate person, he knew that. It started small— little kisses on the cheek and forehead from Kyra to him, hugs and the like. But this was different. It felt different, atleast.
The way she held him felt different, and the way her lips gently kissed his skin made all of the stress from before sizzle into nothing.
He couldn’t help but melt, and before they knew it this became a routine for them, too.
They grew to find themselves comfortable being vulnerable around eachother. Showing sides of themselves to eachother most wouldn’t see. And they knew eachother better than anyone else did.
Simple, friendly touches became something more. The playful wrap of Floyd’s arm around her waist became tighter, and Kyra’s touches on him lingered for longer. Suddenly the playful ‘I Love You’s didn’t seem platonic anymore— atleast not with the way they looked at eachother while they said it.
Simply seeking eachother out to go cause chaos turned into seeking eachother out to just simply be in eachother’s presence instead. Whatever activity they did started to come second, and as long as they were together they were as happy as could be.
Of course, they never recognized this change. In their point of view, they’ve always been like this. But everyone else can see as plain as day, that something definetly changed.
It was painful for everyone involved, really. For some reason neither of them seemed to acknowledge the obvious feelings between eachother.
Everyone could see the way they looked at eachother, the way they acted around eachother… Everything was so painfully blatant… But they still couldn’t admit it. Even when the lines between friendship and intimacy began to blur.
Realizations!
Nothing about their relationship really changed at this point. They just kind of realized their romantic feelings after being deep in denial for WAYY too long.
The first to realize their feelings was actually Kyra, believe it or not. Which is funny because shes never been the best at realizing her own emotions in general.
She was definetly panicked about it, and decided to not say a word of it to anyone. She didn’t want to ruin the friendship they had, after all he was her dearest friend. So she kept her mouth shut and continued on pretending like it was nothing.
She felt selfish having such feelings. She felt as if she didn’t deserve him, like he deserved better than her because she grew up thinking she must be unlovable. And so she kept quiet for the sake of him, too. She thought it was best for the both of them. (<- LIARRRRR!!!!!!)
Floyd realized a little later, it kind of just hit him one day. They weren’t doing anything in particular, he just looked at her and went “Oh. Ohhh.”
Like a lightbulb went off in his head. He didn’t say anything about it either for awhile. Eels are cowards, after all. And he didn’t know if she felt the same. So he just decided to act like nothing happened, continued this routine of theirs that they’ve grown attatched to.
Maybe there were afew times where they wanted to say something about it, to finally admit the unspoken thoughts they’ve had kept in the back of their minds… But they never go through with it. Always backing out last minute, brushing it off.
The two were cowards, dancing around their mutual feelings. Unsure of how the other felt, so they decided to just leave it all unsaid. Even if the look in their eyes said otherwise.
Saying they were just “best friends” was just so much easier. It was what they were used to, what they were comfortable with. It was easier to brush it all off as them being comfortable eachother, sharing beds and exchanging gentle touches. It was all platonic, of course!
…Though Floyd was hesitant with his own feelings. He never expected to find someone that captured his interest so much… Yet he wondered, was he ready to commit?
Strangely, there was no doubt in his mind. It was yes, it always was, yes. The moment he asked himself that question he answered it immediately at the same time.
Of course, because he realized if it was Kyra, there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do. Man, when did he get so whipped for such a silly shrimpy?
Merfolk only choose one mate for life. And Floyd is sure he wanted his to be Kyra.
He was scared of course after realizing his own feelings. Besides Azul and Jade, he's never let anyone get this close to him. It was strange letting Kyra in like this. He didn't plan on her, not at first at least. but now that he has her, he wants to keep her forever.
Man, she just kept surprising him, huh? He never even thought he could feel so deeply for someone. But hes so glad that he found her, that they found eachother.
Difficulties…
When Kyra left with Epel, Rook and Elena during Book 6, Floyd was upset.
Thats an understatement, really. He was furstrated, worried, and somehow he even felt betrayed.
Why didn’t she tell him? Why didn’t she take him with her? Doesn’t she know its dangerous? Whats a shrimpy like her gonna do, huh?
He knows Kyra can take care of herself, he knows shes capable and he knows she can defend herself. But that doesn’t stop him from worrying.
Throughout the span that shes gone Floyd is restless. Hes snappier, hes moodier and he cant seem to stop pacing around no matter how hard he tries.
But when Kyra gets back— he completely ignores her.
Kyra was so very confused. Actually, everyone was. This was a first for the two of them. Honestly, Kyra expected him to run towards her just like he always does. But he doesn’t.
Kyra is back, but that doesn’t change his mood. If anything, it worsens. And Kyra doesn’t have a clue why! Everytime she tries to approach him, he just turns his heel and walks away. And hes never looked at her like… that..
Kyra is a total mess. And suddenly shes not as good as keeping her real feelings at bay like she usually is. She wondered if she did something wrong? Said something wrong? Was he finally sick of her? And that was when she realized— she was terrified of the thought of losing him.
In desperation she went to Jade. Maybe she should’ve asked Elena for advice instead, but before she knew it she was sat infront of Jade, asking for help with his brother.
If anything, Jade seemed amused with her situation. Of course he did. But with a mischevious twinkle in his eye, she had a feeling he had a scheme brewing up in his head.
Maybe she should’ve known better than to trust Jade… But she didn’t really have a choice, or so she thought as much.
Something about this situation felt so… Deliberate. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it seemed like he knew she’d come to him for help sooner or later.
After giving Kyra some advice and words of encouragement, he did something rather out of character of him. Bringing into a hug, he held her rather close to himself.
Kyra didn’t really notice this, and accepted the hug with no hesitation. Wrapping her arms around him and sighing as she melted into the well-needed hug.
Little did she know, Jade’s eyes were glued onto his brother’s figure, looming by the doorframe with a scowl on his face. It made Jade chuckle, deciding to tighten her arms around Kyra juust a little more to see what he’d do.
Of course, Floyd wasn’t happy about it. Now, Floyd is not a jealous person by any means. He has better things to focus on, other things to keep him entertained. But at moments like these, when hes already in a bad mood, he can’t help that primal instict, its in his blood after all. A moray is a moray.
Tearing her away from Jade, he drags her to somewhere else. Leaving a very amused Jade watching them leave.
And so, an argument occurs !!! Its a back and forth, Floyd mad about what he just saw, Kyra trying to explain the situation then her getting mad at him back for avoiding her like the plague.
It ended up with Floyd admitting he was mad because she didn’t tell him about her going with them, but at the same time he was mad at himself for not being able to be with her then.
Kyra realizes that, yeah, she probably shouldve let him know she was going. But she couldn’t just brush off the fact he hurt her by doing what he did, shes grown enough as a person at this point to not let her own feelings go unheard.
Reconcilliation!!! They both apologize and promise to do better, and what better way to catch up on lost time than a sleepover??
Best believe that after they made up, they went back to their normal selves as if nothing happened— actually, maybe even worse with how much clingier they are. They seriously missed eachother, seeing how much they stuck together. 😭
“Home”?
When Kyra got news of the possibility of finding a way back to her home she was in shambles. So very conflicted between the place she called home and the place she felt was home.
She knew she had to leave some day. She knew this freedom she had was temporary. She knew one day, she’d have to go back to the life she grew to despise, the life that was never hers.
She didn’t want to leave, though. Of course she didn’t. But still, she didn’t really have a choice.
She decided she wouldn’t do the same mistake and leave Floyd out of the loop. If anyone deserves to know first, its probably him.
And so, while theyre sitting on the rooftop of Ramshackle she mentions it. And Floyd is… Upset. Of course he is. Hes beyond upset, really. He just got his best friend back, now hes hearing she might be going away again? For good? Forever?
No way. He couldnt accept that, there was no way he could. But before he could even say anything— Kyra spoke first.
“I don’t want to go back. I really, really don’t.”
“…You don’t? Huh? Why?” There was a wave of relief that crashed over Floyd when he heard those words fall from her lips, his eyes glued onto the girl beside him. Hanging onto every word she says. “No. Its just… Its not my home, atleast not anymore. I dont think it is.”
“I think, this is my home now.” She chuckles, eyes glued down to the ground below. “…Because you’re here.” She says, turning to look at him. She spoke in that tone that she only used behind closed doors. When no one was looking. That soft, sweet voice she used whenever she carded her fingers through his hair and whispered sweet nothings to him until he fell asleep. It wasn’t unauthetic like the voice she used when they first met— no, it was genuine. Real. Full of adoration, of fondness. Her gaze held so much love.
“…Hah, what’re you gettin’ all sappy for, Sea Angel? Thats so cringe.” He laughed, but his heart soared. Even if it was cheesey, he couldnt help but swoon with just the way she looked at him. Like he was the most beautiful thing in the world. She always said he was the prettiest boy in the world.
She moved forward, her face leaning ever so close to his, so close he could see every line and curve of her features. He laughed at first, “Hey, what’cha tryna do, huh? What? Do I have somethin’ on my face?” He joked, but she didn’t respond. It looked like she was thinking, like she was deep in thought. “…Kyra?”
Her name left his lips for what was the first time. Hanging in the air like a silent prayer of longing, of want. And her own lips met his. Capturing it in a sweet, sudden kiss.
Time seemed to have stopped. It always felt like that when they were together, but this was different. Nothing could prepare him for that— hell, he didn’t even get the chance to kiss her back, the moment felt as if it went on forever but it was over too quickly all the same.
There was a flash of realization on Kyra’s face as her cheeks flushed a red that could rival Riddle on a rampage. Stumbling and stuttering, she couldn’t handle the embarrassment, and before he could even say anything she ran away. Leaving him on the rooftop, wide eyes and a stomach full of butterflies.
Yeah. Kyra is really stupid sometimes.
After that whole thing, she ran to Leona to let out her thoughts. He listened, though he said he ‘didn’t have a choice anyway’.
“So… You kissed him then you just.. Ran? Seriously?” “I PANICKED!!!”
Floyd and Kyra don’t really interact until Malleus’ overblot. And during the time they’re in Floyd’s dream, shes hoping he doesn’t bring up what happened at the rooftop.
Confession!
The confession takes a long, LOONG time. Im talking probably around book 7 or later. Probably when Kyra confirmed that shes staying in Twisted Wonderland. (Everyone thank Papa Crewel, he sorted out her documents for her :33)
Hehe because eels are cowards and they dont take the shot unless theyre sure it’s a winner. So he waits, and waits some more. And of course, that kiss was the sign he needed to finally just go for it.
Eventually, Floyd does confess. Although I still haven’t thought of the details— it does go something like this.
When Kyra at first laughs at him thinking it was a joke, he got annoyed. He didn’t think this was funny, and after seeing the serious look on his face she stopped immediately.
After realizing he was being genuine, she started straight up BAWLING. Sobbing, because she couldn’t believe someone could ever love her the way she is.
Shes deemed herself as unlovable so very long ago, she didnt expect the person she adored so much to ever love her back. She felt selfish, wanting to accept his feelings. But she wanted to be selfish at that moment.
Floyd has never been one to comfort people. He was never the best at it, but if its her, he’ll try. He always does. It was weird, but if it was her he always found himself doing things he’d never thought he’d do for someone else.
When Kyra started rambling about all of the reasons he “shouldn’t” love her, he started talking about why he loved all of those sides of her. Kissing away her tears n’ all. AUAUAUUUGGHHHH
It was honestly super emotional ESPECIALLY for Kyra, but she of course accepts the confession and they FINALLY KISS PROPERLY OH MY GOD THANK U !! ROUND OF APPLAUSE !!!!!!!
Floyd also calls Kyra by her actual name instead of ‘Shrimpy’ or ‘Sea Angel’ during this confession :3
“Its About Time!”
Honestly, nothing much changes after they confess.
Sure it takes some time to get used to them being officially a couple, but they’re still mostly the same.
However, I’d like to think that they just… Don’t mention it to anyone. Not because they’re keeping their relationship a secret, they just ?? Dont ???? Because they’re weird like that idk and its funny to me
For awhile no one actually knows they’re dating, and one day when someone comments on how they really should just suck it up and start dating they’re like “oh, lol we already are” “WHAT—“
Floyd definetly brags about Kyra a lot though 😭😭 and Kyra does the same… theyre both so down bad its SICKENING.
Funfacts!
Floyd was kind of scared of Kyra for a little while LMAOO 😭 shes a little TOO freaky …
Floyd has stayed over at Ramshackle so much that he’s has a bunch of stuff over there. An extra toothbrush, some changes of clothes, you name it. Its probably there. You can bet Floyd just lets himself into Ramshackle all the time, sometimes even in the middle of the night. But Kyra is always so chill about it 😭 (only because its Floyd HEHE)
Before they even started dating— behind closed doors they already acted like an old married couple 😭
Kyra and Floyd are lowkey super domestic behind closed doors, especially after a sleepover. Waking the other up with kisses ….. Helping eachother get ready for the day, helping eachother get dressed … Cooking together …….. theyre so sickening …………
Even if they aren’t with eachother all the time, they still manage to include eachother in their lives somehow. Whenever they go off on a solo-adventure, they always come back with some sort of trinket that reminded them of the other.
Speaking of, they’re both avid collectors of anything they deem cool enough. Random rocks, acorns, a lost penny, you name it. They like to show eachother the things they found throughout the day to eachother!
They have this silly little game Kyra started. She began hiding little sticky notes with sweet messages or a doodle and sometimes gifts in places she knows Floyd will find, and he’s started doing the same thing. Ever since then, its kind of become more like a competition on who can find the most sticky notes 😭
Kyra gets cuteness aggression from Floyd. Yeah thats it.
^^ she genuinely believes hes the cutest thing ever. Whatever u say queen!!!!
Floyd loves giving Kyra random gifts out of nowhere. The gifts can range from ‘a cool rock’ to a designer jacket. Kyra doesnt know which she prefers HAHAHA
Kyra herself prefers handmade gifts, so she loves to make Floyd pieces of jewelry and clothing! Shes always so proud whenever she sees him wearing something she made :3
Floyd and Kyra have been kicked out of class several times for laughing too hard.
They admitted to eachother before they even started dating that they couldn’t imagine their life without the other… can they pls take the hint omg
Floyd always feels super bad whenever he loses control of his temper around Kyra. One time he snapped at her, and he immediately apologized 😭 he told her to slap him if he ever did that again, hugged her so tight too and Kyra honestly found it so cute 😭
Floyd always perks up whenever he realizes Kyra is close by, always running straight to her. Kyra does the same thing and quite literally jumps into his arms.
Both Kyra and Floyd’s main love language is physical touch!! But Kyra loves to compliment him all the time, and Floyd loves gift giving :3
Kyra always greets Floyd with a kiss on the cheek. Yeah she started doing this before they were event dating im afraid ….
Kyra and Floyd love to read together at night, though Kyra usually falls asleep first AHAHAHA
But !! Kyra is also the first to wake up more often than not, and always wakes Floyd up with butterfly kisses on his face :3
Floyd convinced Azul to add some of Kyra’s favorite foods to the menu of Mostro Lounge just to get her to come visit more often
Kyra fights anyone that bad-mouths Floyd. Floyd doesnt know whether to find it cute or annoyed that she keeps getting herself hurt 😭
^^ SPEAKING OF, Kyra literally unlocked a much more caring side of Floyd with her being so accident-prone 😭 girlie got herself injured so much FLOYD had to step in smh …
Floyd is the kinda guy to carry Kyra if her feet started to hurt while walking or if she sprains an ankle teehee
They’re both banned from an arcade in town after they broke a claw machine and stole all the plushies inside. And other things but that isnt as important.
When Floyd feels like hanging out with her, he’ll look for her around campus then just throw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes then just walks away. Kyra never struggles or objects and kind of just … accepts her fate 😭
Rambling…
Kyra grew up thinking the love she received will always be conditional. That she always needed to live up to some sort of expectation, and so she created a ‘perfect’ persona in order to do just that.
She still keeps that persona from the Prologue to Book 1, but begins to break away from it during Book 2– but while in her past she was only loved for the version of herself she created for others— it was the opposite with Floyd.
He disliked her so-called ‘persona’, but fell so deeply in love with her real self.
^^ she was very confused, yet so very happy.
Floyd never expected to ever love or care about someone so deeply, but at the same time he can’t imagine anything he wouldn’t do for Kyra.
Floyd thinks everything is fun as long as Kyra is with him <3
Kyra only ever started showing her more vulnerable side to Floyd during her character development. He was the very first to ever see her break away from the unbothered act she always put on.
Floyd was never one to let himself be so soft and vulnerable around anyone, ever. But strangely, he lets his guard down around Kyra. Kyra knows of the much gentler side to him, and she adores it so very much.
Kyra is extremely understanding and patient of Floyd and his mood swings. She knows he’d never intentionally hurt her, and always knows just how to cheer him up. Whether with a silly joke, a spontaneous adventure or just lying in bed with him in her arms.
Kyra trusts Floyd with her LIFE. She trusts him so much its ridiculous. No matter what the situation, she always feels like she can rely on him… But she wont trust him with her food. Or her plushies.
Extra: Incorrect Quotes (?)
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I have more on my 🎀! twst shennanigans tag lol
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weirdkpopgirl · 6 months ago
Text
A Little Help | Jaemin Imagine #14
Title: A Little Help
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: mentions of kissing -- light makeout session, suggestive dialogue (but nothing crazy)
Word Count: ~1k
Author's Note: This imagine was an idea I had for a very long time, but I just never got to writing it. For awhile, I went back and forth as to which member to give this story to. Ultimately, I'm weak for Na Jaemin, so I chose him. I know you guys like this sort of stuff too, so I hope you enjoy it (not too much though lol). Please look forward to my future works as well. Thank you for reading ^ ^
˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
Jaemin made his way into your cozy living room with a steaming mug of lemon tea in hand. His eyes quickly found you seated on the floor near the coffee table. Despite the dim lighting in the room, your face was illuminated by the soft glow of the laptop in front of you. Jaemin started to smile, observing how focused you were on writing the story you’d been working on for months. However, his smile froze when he noticed you nibbling your lower lip and sighing in frustration.
Quietly, he shuffled over to sit beside you on the carpet and carefully set down the drink on the table. You picked up on his presence immediately and glanced up at him with a small smile.
“Thank you,” you said, curling your fingers around the handle of the mug before taking a long sip of the warm beverage.
He instinctively reached a hand to tenderly brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Everything okay?” he asked in the calm, low-toned voice he typically used during late-night conversations with you.
You hummed in response, holding back from sighing again. “Yeah. I’m just stuck on this certain part of my story.”
“What’s it supposed to be?” Jaemin tilted his head, his dark brown eyes filled with a blend of curiosity and concern. His innocent question unintentionally made you hesitate, your eyes flickering back to the screen before meeting his gaze once more. 
“Well, this is when my main characters are supposed to have their first kiss,” you explained, already feeling the heat rushing to your cheeks. “And for some reason, I’m struggling with the technicalities of it. It’s just frustrating because usually I don’t have much of a problem with these scenes.”
Although you felt silly admitting this to your boyfriend (of all people), your frustration outweighed your embarrassment. Jaemin was the type of person who never seemed fazed by anything, but you still expected him to tease you.
Instead, Jaemin wore a thoughtful expression, arms crossed over his knees. “Why don’t you try acting out the kiss with me? It might help you get a better feel for it.”
Eyes widening in surprise at his suggestion, you began to protest. “I-I don’t know, Nana. I mean, that’s a bit…” you trailed off, shyness instinctively taking over. 
But then you paused, considering his idea for a moment. It wasn’t actually that bad and might help you with this little dilemma. After all, he was your boyfriend, so being close to each other wasn’t out of the norm. Certainly when you were dating Na Jaemin, possibly the most affectionate man you knew.
“Hm, I guess it can’t hurt to try,” you conceded, moving your hands away from your laptop. 
Taking a deep breath, you turned to face Jaemin properly and he scooted closer with a warm smile. “You said it’s their first kiss, right?” he asked, recalling the brief context you gave him earlier.
You nodded. “Yeah…um. It’s supposed to start off slow and hesitant. But it becomes more passionate since the characters have been pining for each other practically forever.”
“Okay. Show me what you’re thinking, princess,” he said. Both the pet name and his soothing voice sent a shiver down your spine.
At first, you hesitated, before tentatively reaching out to take his hand, bringing it to your cheek. “Maybe it could start with him cupping her face like this,” you spoke in almost a whisper. “And then her hands could just be on his shoulders?”
Your initial unease wore off fairly quickly, and Jaemin felt his heart skip a beat as you continued to test different hand placements with him. He couldn’t help but find how your brows furrowed in concentration and the way you quietly mumbled to yourself, incredibly endearing.
“Then when things start to get more intense, his hands should go here,” you murmured, guiding his other hand to your waist. He suppressed a laugh, noticing how you were too focused to be flustered by the intimacy of the gesture.
Yet, as minutes passed without your lips coming in contact with his, Jaemin’s frustration simmered. He couldn’t stop his eyes from being drawn to your soft, pink lips. Though your touches remained innocent, they only made the temptation increasingly difficult to resist. Growing tired of waiting, he gave into the impulse and leaned into capture your lips with his own. 
Immediately caught off guard, a soft gasp escaped you from the sudden kiss. You felt his hand on your back, pressing possessively, while his lips moved hungrily against yours. Midway into the kiss, you realize how unintentionally teasing you must have been when you were trying to work out the characters’ kiss in your mind. But before you could fully process what was happening, he pulled away. Seeing the light shade of red painted across your cheeks, Jaemin smiled in satisfaction.
“You need to know how the kiss feels so you can describe it in your story,” he reasoned, his voice teasing but earnest.
Despite being a blushy mess, you understood what he meant and smiled back. “You’re right. But I think we should do it again…you know, so I can be more prepared this time.” 
Your words made his grin widen as your arms wrapped around his neck. His lips met yours in a passionate dance, the story temporarily forgotten. Jaemin pulled you closer, his fingers delicately tracing your jawline. He could taste a hint of lemon tea on your lips, and a smile formed as you lightly tugged at his hair. It took all his self-control not to get too carried away, savoring the moment while keeping his desire in check.
 Even though Jaemin has kissed you dozens of times, each one reminded you of how insanely in love you were with one another. And in that moment, the characters and their story faded into the background, leaving only the warmth and connection between you two.
˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
previous masterlist -> current masterlist
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bb-eilish · 2 years ago
Text
𝒜𝓇𝓉𝒾𝒻𝒾𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁 𝐿𝓊𝓈𝓉
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pairing: AI!Soobin x f!reader
warnings; swearing, pet names, dirty talk, multiple smut scenes, pining, nipple play, rough sex, phone call, praise, robo soobin, no condom use, creampie, jealousy/delusion, stalking, kissing, blonde soobin. (if i missed something pls lemme know!!)
summary; Your close friend’s new riches makes christmas forever memorable.
A/N: I read @writerpetals “artificial heart” and couldn’t help but picture soobin, please read their work it’s great!
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𝓐 gasp is heard through the entire restaurant, you would care about the dozen eyes suddenly on you, but you can’t. Your closest friend, Yoon, has struck gold, she’s been working as a higher up at your guys’ office job for the longest time and has been very buddy buddy with the CEO. So when the former CEO retired she left the company to Yoon, who now has inherited a million dollar company!
“You’re kidding.” Your mouth is glued to the ground as she beams at you, “Isn’t this amazing? Just in time for Christmas too. I worked for so long and it finally really payed off. Now I just need to find you a present.” She thoughtfully looks at her food, the flame of the candle between you two lighting up her features warmly. “Heh, if only you could buy me a boyfriend.” You joke as you poke at the salad in your dish.
“Boyfriend hm? I see…” She smiles as you both carry on, dinner is filled with disbelief as she tells you just how much she has now and the gossip the old CEO told her.
///////////
“Merry Christmas, Y/n. Bring him in over here!” Yoon greets and then shouts behind her, the smile on your face twists into confusion. “What?” You’re confused even further when two men heave a box up the steps to your porch and slide in through the door. They drop it off by the tree and you gape. A box that’s at least 6’0 sits next to your tree now, the presents under it look much smaller in comparison.
Yoon’s smile almost hurts your eyes as she beams at you, “I think you’re gonna love it!” She goes in for a hug that squeezes the air from your lungs, “Yea, I bet I will. I hope you like your presents.” Your nerves flare at the idea of her not liking what you got her because of this unbelievably tall present.
“You seriously didn’t have to get me anything so big, I’d be happy with a card honestly.” She shakes her head at your modesty and smiles, “You deserve the world Y/n, don’t worry about it.”
“Coffee? We can open presents after I make some?”
“Sounds lovely, be quick or I might open your gift myself.” You giggle at her and go to put a K-cup into the machine. While waiting you can’t help but to admire your kitchen, it’s your favorite style and just the right size. It’s perfect and even better with the adorable christmas decorations everywhere. But sort of….empty. The decorations are nice and all, but ever since your ex left awhile ago it’s missing something.
The sound of the coffee squirting into your cup takes you out of your thoughts as you wait till it’s done and put a new one in. “Here, coconut french roast, just how you like it.” Bending over slightly, you pass her the hot christmas mug and go back to the machine. It’s just finishing up your cup.
“Alright, open this first.” You grab a small wrapped box and pass it to her, the snowflake paper contrasting to her red and back flannel pajamas. She pushes a stray piece of hair behind her ear before digging into the bright paper. “Oh my god, this is so pretty. Is this the one we saw in the window of that one store?” She asks in awe, “Hehe, yeah it is. Do you like it?” Watching her squeal makes you feel warm, she means so much to you and you can only hope she knows it.
“I love it, thank you so much. Here open this!”
You both go back and forth opening the presents until the last one is inevitably the tall one. It intimidates you as you step closer and dig a nail under the tape that’s stuck at the sides. You jump when she changes her mind about you opening it, “Actually, y/n. Turn around, I’ll let you know when to look.”
You arch a brow at her but turn around nonetheless, there’s the sound of paper, cardboard, and then a button. She squeals happily as she tells you to turn around. Your heart beats wildly in your chest as you fidget with your fingers and swing around.
First you blink, and then again, and once more. A man stands there, a gentle smile on his face as he greets you. “It’s nice to meet you, Ms. L/n. I’m Soobin, I hope I can be of service.” You hesitantly meet his hand. “Um, I’m sorry, I’m confused.” You eye both of them until he responds.
“I am your assistant, I was customized for you.” That honestly made your confusion worse as you look towards Yoon, she laughs as she begins to explain. “This is Soobin, your AI assistant. He cost a pretty penny but it was so worth it, once I saw how customizable he was, I knew he could be the one for you.”
“He’s a robot?” You ask dumbfounded, he smiles again. A very human-sounding chuckle leaves him as he nods. You eye him up and down not so subtly, his hair is almost a platinum blonde, it sits neatly styled over his forehead. He wears a tidy looking black knit sweater matched with jeans and sneakers.
"Looks real doesn't he? He can do whatever you like, he can cook,clean, grocery shop, even drive a car." She stops to take a step closer to you, leaning into your ear. "And he's made for you in other ways as well." She laughs before getting a loud notification. You stare at her wide eyed as she apologizes and leaves to go manage the company or whatever she said.
"Merry Christmas Ms. L/n. Would you like me to clean up?"
You peer around your living room, the ground is covered in hundreds of pieces of wrapping paper. "Uh, sure. Thank you..." You can’t help but eye him curiously as he gathers the paper and random boxes around you. You have to admit, he does look incredibly real. Especially when he bends over so fluently to grab at the garbage. He even breaths out a little while he does it as well.
“Where should I put these?” He questions when he’s done, it honestly scares you a bit as you were spacing out — thinking about him of course, he’s an entire robot.
“Oh uh, the trash cans are in the garage. That way.” You point to the correct door, he nods with a smile and is on his way.
The coffee in your hands grows colder as you watch him, you’d be worried about being creepy with how much you’re staring, but something tells you it probably doesn’t matter.
“All done. Do you need anything else Ms. L/n?” He stands before you with his hands crossed in front of him. “No, thank you for cleaning. You can…s-sit down if you’d like? We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other anyways.” He smiles again and you try not to pay attention to how you gulp in response. Soobin swings himself around and sits on the other end of your couch, looking at his hands as he outstretched them curiously.
“So, Soobin. I know you can do house chores, what else can you do?” This is the best small talk you’re able to conjure up at the moment, you’re acutely aware that he’s metal and wires. “Besides house hold chores, I can answer questions — as I’m connected to the internet — I know every language and am fully trained in multiple martial arts. I was programmed to protect you, as well as be a companion. I hope we are able to get along.”
He smiles at you once more, the dimples in his cheeks apparent as he does so. He’s so human it’s uncanny.
“Wow, that’s amazing. I’ve actually been a bit worried about living on my own. Is there anything else you can do?”
“Yes, I’ve also been programmed to know exactly what you are into sexually.” Your eyes basically pop out of your head in response, warmth settles over your skin as you let your imagination run a little too wild in the moment.
“O-oh. Well, uh, I’m going to take a shower, make yourself…at home.”
You scurry off to your bedroom, thoughts absolutely taken over by his words. You were very open with Yoon about what you were into, you’ve been friends for years so it was only natural that the subject was brought up multiple times. And now you have a robot assistant who looks like he was modeled after…well.. a model, and knows how to please you.
You’re going through your clean hamper, as you haven’t put them away yet, when a knock sounds from your door.
“Ms. L/n, since it’s 9:27 in the morning, shall I make breakfast?” His muffled voice still has heat settling over your cheeks as you respond.
“Oh, sure. You can make whatever you want, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.” To be honest, you couldn’t think of a single breakfast food at that moment. Too much has happened in such a short time, you’re still a little stunned. Soobin hums and agrees and you go back to searching for clothes to wear.
////////////////////
You’re shower was 15 minutes longer than usual, Soobin was on the front of your mind and because of that you were in space for most of it.
The bathrooms warm and foggy atmosphere contrasted the rest of your house, it was cold but not annoyingly stuffy when you creaked the door open. “Ms. L/n breakfast is ready, I have made pancakes and french toast.”
“I don’t remember having frozen pancakes and french toast?” You mumble as you step into the kitchen to ogle the delicious food on your table.
“I made them from scratch, I hope you enjoy them.” He bows before turning around to handle the small mess he created. He made them….from scratch? He even topped it off with a few blueberries on the butter that sat on top of the stack of pancakes. The food looked like it was stolen right from a commercial.
“They look delicious, thank you, Soobin.” You say as you slip into your seat and pluck your fork from the table. “Of course.”
Cutting the pancakes was almost mesmerizing, as they were unbelievably pillowy and soft. The taste was so much better than you imagined as well.
“Soobin, oh my god. These are amazing.”
“Thank you, Ms. L/n. I’m glad you like them.” He smiles, it’s so human like it catches you off guard.
He leaves you to eat and only comes back to take your dirty dishes. Wow, he’s treating you better than all of your ex’s combined, it has your eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
That’s how the remainder of Christmas went, with you being surprised at how nice he was, even if he was AI and programmed that way.
“What do you do at night? Do I need to…uh…plug..you in? Or..?” He didn’t come with any plugs or anything so you’re a little confused if he has to recharge or something. “Oh, no. I sleep as well, it’s obviously not the same as human sleep, but same idea.” You open your mouth in an O shape as you nod.
“Well, goodnight, Soobin.”
“Goodnight, Ms. L/n. Merry Christmas!”
//////////
Sleeping was difficult the first night, knowing he was “sleeping” in your guest bedroom. You tossed and turned for hours before barely being able to slip fully away. Too bad that lasted an hour and now your alarm is blaring. The sigh you let out is almost pathetic as you groggily rise to your feet.
Your apartment is eerily quiet and you momentarily forget what’s missing. That is until the door opens and he walks in, putting down the groceries he bought on the counter.
Rubbing at your eyes you ask, “What are those?”
“I bought ingredients for dinner tonight, as I know what food you look. So, we’re having your favorite italian dish.”
“Oh, wow. Thank you, Soobin. Heh, do you know my social security number too?” You chuckle, “Yes, it is 892-“
“Okay! So glad you know that.” You nervously chuckle.
///////////////
3 Months have passed since you were given Soobin, he’s been unbelievably helpful so you’re grateful Yoon spent the money on him, because you did NOT have that much. Soobin and you have grown closer as well and you can’t remember what it was like without him.
“And I told him to fuck off because he literally tried to get with my sister.” Yoon grumpily exclaims as she tips her back to down another shot. “You’re kidding.”
“I wish I was, she was also like 17 at the time.” Your mouth falls open in shock as she nods her head drunkly. You yawn and go to rub your eyes, stopping because it took you so long to do your eyeliner earlier. “Hey, I’m gonna call Soobin to get me, do you want a ride home?”
She shakes her head with a smile before saying, “Don’t worry, I have a chauffeur now. Isn’t that so weird?” She giggles. You dig out your phone from your purse that sits on your lap, the dim lights of the club making the screen much brighter than you remembered. Squinting, you try your best to find your home phone number, turning down the brightness is useless because apparently it’s already all the way down. Finally you find the number and press it, it only takes a couple rings before he greets you with the voice you’ve grown very fond of.
“Hello, Ms. L/n. Are you enjoying your night out?” He’s as kind as ever, it brings a sappy smile to your face as you answer. “Yea, thank you. Could you pick me up by any chance? I took Yoon’s car so my car is still at home.” You yell into the phone, it’s so loud you wonder if yelling is even working.
“Yes, of course. I’m leaving right now.”
“Don’t you need the address?” Your eyebrows furrow.
“I always know your location thanks to your phone. I’ll be there in approximately 16 minutes.”
“Thank you.” You hang up and try your best to stay awake, you haven’t gone to a club in a little while and it’s becoming obvious. Even though the bass from the DJ is basically making you vibrate, you still try and fight off sleep.
“Hey, uh, Yoon. I’m gonna wait outside for Soobin.” You lean on your arm as your eyes droop.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at the office okay?” She’s even smiley and go lucky when drunk, you seriously envy her.
“Alright, be safe. See ya tomorrow.”
The warmth of having to navigate through grinding bodies has nausea forming in your stomach, it only subsides once you swing open the door. The air feels refreshing as you stumble out. It was like a sauna inside, the cool air against your flushed skin has you shuttering out a breath of relief.
Glancing around you spot a bench to your left and oh does it look inviting. Sitting down, you pluck your phone from your purse to check the time, 13 more minutes. The bouncer on the other side of the door is busy talking, as well as the people in line but it all blurs into each other. God, tomorrow is gonna be a bitch.
Your head hangs low as a breeze flows up your dress, good thing your purse is settled on your lap or else the line of people would have a great view of your underwear. Time is warped in your head and you swear it’s been only a minute before someone is calling your name. Your head raises, higher and higher, until you make eye contact with Soobin. He’s so tall, you love how tall he is. He’s so attractive.
“Ms. L/n. Are you ready to leave?” He holds out a hand for you to take, which you obviously do because walking through the parking lot in this state in these heels would be impossible. “Yes, thank you, Soobin.” Your body can’t help but lean against his figure as you both make your way to your car.
While getting in you giggle to yourself drunkly, slouching over the center console. “Here, Ms. L/n. Let me buckle you in.”
“Y/n.” You smile.
“Excuse me?”
“Call me Y/n. Ms. L/n sounds like my mother.” You giggle once more, more heat spreading over your face if possible. Even more when the hand clicking your seatbelt drifts across your thighs. It confuses you, isn’t he AI? Isn’t he free from making human mistakes? Did he do that on purpose then? Your drunken mind has your memories a little fuzzy but he treats you like a girlfriend, now even down to the teasing touches. You’ll have to ask Yoon about that when you see her next.
“Soobin, can you help the hangover I’m gonna have tomorrow? I have work.” The car purrs to life as he presses the button and puts it in drive. “Of course, Y/n. I’m happy to help.”
The way home was strange, you honestly blame it all on the alcohol. Whenever you peaked over at him you couldn’t help but ogle, even if he was AI, he was unbelievably attractive. How did Yoon know your exact type, sure you talk about your sex and love life with her but she really hit the nail on the head. The way his blonde hair falls almost angelic like over his skin has completely stolen your attention.
The thoughts have your skin warming again and a slight heat being lit in your gut.
“We’re here, do you need me to unbuckle you?” He catches you off guard, you were still mid swoon when he started talking.
“Oh, no I got it. Thank you, Soobin.” He nods before stepping out of your car and circling around to open yours as well. Your legs are a bit wobbly, so when you take a tumble he’s quick to wrap an arm around your waist. You need to sleep, the heat inside you seems to be hotter and it’s really starting to affect you. You seriously just want him to take you right then and there.
“Here, you should eat. I’ll make you something.” He proposes when you’re inside, slumped over a chair. “No, it’s okay. I changed my mind, I just want to go to bed. You should too, goodnight, Soobin.”
“Oh, goodnight, Y/n.”
///////////
Regret. You truly regret dismissing Soobin’s attempts of helping your inevitable hang over. As you sit up in bed your head pounds annoyingly. It’s 6:09 AM, you work at 7:30, hopefully it’s enough time to reduce the pulsing in your skull.
“Good morning, Y/n. Are you feeling okay?” He asks you once you stumble out of bed and into your living quarters. “No, do you know if we have any pain killers?” You question, rubbing your face with your hands soothingly. A hand comes to rub your back as he answers, “I’ll get those right away, are you hungry?” You don’t know how he does it, but you can only concentrate on his hand as it rubs against your clothed back. Even the pounding in your head is an after thought compared to him. You manage to nod your head ‘yes’.
His touch is fleeting and leaves a subtle want in you as he opens up a random cabinet and searches for the medicine.
“Here, let me get you some water.” It’s really not your fault for how you feel, he was made to be specifically your type. The man of your dreams basically. He slides a cup of water your way, “Thank you, Soobin.” Your head tips back as you cram the pills into your mouth and take a swig of the water.
“How about we do something tonight? Just you and me? I really appreciate what you do around here.”
Even for a robot, he pauses, his eyes are wide as he processes your words before nodding. “Of course, I look forward to it.”
/////////////
You’re showered and fed by the time you get to your car, waving to Soobin as if he’s your house wife. You really hate leaving him, his presence has made your home so warm and comfy. Being single isn’t the most fun and he’s really made you miss being in a relationship. That is until you make it to your office and hear his voice. His makes Soobin’s somehow even nicer.
“Morning, Y/n. I heard you and the boss had a fun time last night. Wish you would’ve invited me.”
Sigh.
“Morning to you too, Hyun. Sorry, I didn’t know you would’ve wanted to go.” You swing around to face him, he leans against your door frame with his hands in his pockets.
“Maybe you could make it up to me? Whaddya say? You, me. Dinner tonight?” You were expecting this honestly, Hyun is constantly trying to advance this “relationship” as he calls it. He’s honestly like a mosquito. “Sorry, I can’t. I have plans with my friend.”
He only smiles and nods, “Do I know her?” His question catches you off guard, “Uh no, you don’t…” Sitting down, you turn on your pc and see what pages you have to edit today. But of course, it’s never that easy. “What’s her name?” You hold back the urge to smash your head into your keyboard.
Well, this is gonna be interesting.
“Soobin.”
A beat passes before his annoying laugh is heard, “That’s funny…that..that sounds like a guy’s name..” His laugh stops when you say “It is.”
“Oh, are you dating…?”
Your fists clench at that, “No, now I really need to get started.”
You wish it ended there, but it didn’t, not in your office, not at the printer, not even when you were walking to the bathroom.
Finally it’s time to go home, 5:26 and you’re so ready to do something with Soobin, without Hyun especially. You thankfully didn’t see him on your way out either, which was weird to be honest. He always makes a move on you in the parking lot. Maybe your constant rejection finally got through?
////////////
Driving home was not fun, you swear this one car was following you. They were far enough away that you couldn’t see who was driving, but you know they were following you. Instead of going straight to your house you took a small detour to get them off your ass. Which thankfully worked. The car comes to a halt as you wait for your garage door to open, as soon as you’re inside you close it immediately. Hopefully that creep didn’t spot you.
“Soobin, I’m home.” A beat passes and still no response.
You cock an eyebrow at the silence. Hanging up your jacket on your coat hanger, you find a note on the counter.
Be back soon, getting dinner.
-Soobin
A breath of relief leaves you as you read it. That gives you enough time to change out of your work clothes. The pencil skirt you’re currently wearing might look great but it does not feel like it. Your legs are chafing and you’re pleased Soobin isn’t here to witness you shuffle awkwardly to your bedroom.
Unzipping the skirt snd unhooking your bra had you melting on the spot, even more so when you put on your favorite pair of fuzzy pajama pants and a nice tank top. Taking off your makeup was the cherry on top, you could seriously just throw yourself on your bed and pass out. But you’re way too excited to hang out with Soobin.
Knock Knock
Your head snaps towards the echoing knocking. Soobin has a spare key so it’s not him. Nevertheless, you go to open the door.
“Can I help yo-“ Color drains from your face, why is he here? At your door step? With a bouquet of flowers no less?
“Y/n, I’m glad I found the right house. I wanted to talk to you.” He smiles at you like he didn’t show up on your door step like an abandoned child. “How did you get my address?” Honestly you regret asking, you didn’t want to know.
He laughs before answering, “The only way I could without asking and sounding creepy, I followed you home!”
Your jaw drops, “You..followed me..home..?” You’re sure you’re on an episode of punked or something, this can’t be real.
He nods his head, hand sticking out to pass you the bouquet of tulips and daisies. A moment passes before you hesitantly take them, awkwardly holding them up. “I know you said you had plans tonight, but I really think you shouldn’t hang out with this Soobin guy. After all, you have me and he sounds like a total creep.”
You’ve seriously had enough, you draw the line at him questioning Soobin’s motives and yknow, him following you home.The grip on the frail stems tightens and the stinging pain of thorns is second in line to the steam coming out of your ears.
“Okay, I’ve had enough. We are not friends, you are a major creep. You followed me home yet have the audacity to point fingers at Soobin. You’ll never even be half the man he is, now get off of my porch and don’t even think of even looking in my direction again.” Your teeth are sore after your word vomit from being clenched so tightly.
He’s expressionless until his eyebrows furrow, an almost confused look settles on his face. “I’m not sure you understand, you and me are meant to be. Soobin brainwashed you or something to think of me like this, I didn’t think it was this bad. Come here.” He goes to grip your free hand, his sweaty palm has a shiver of disgust ring through you.
“No, don’t touch me. Fuck off.” The flowers fall to the ground as you try to pry his greasy fingers from your skin. The sound of something closing is lost on your ears as blood rushes by them from the sudden adrenaline.
“I’m trying to help you , Y/n. I know you love me.”
Tears prick your eyes , you’re totally overwhelmed and starting to panic.
“Excuse me, can I help you?” That voice didn’t come from the man desperately trying to kidnap you, it was from him.
“Soobin, please help. He won’t let go.” Relief floods your system and your knees almost give out when he steps forward. “Let go of her.” His voice shocks you, it’s stern and low, you try to not think about how hot he sounds.
“Oh, you’re Soobin? You’re the one corrupting my love.” Hyun let’s go to turn around fully, trying his best to look intimidating. It’s not working, Soobin is a solid foot taller than him. Hyun doesn’t seem to be aware of it though as he goes to poke a crude finger into the hard chest of your friend.
Soobin remains calm and it shocks you, AI or not, Hyun is unbelievably annoying.
“Do I need to help you leave? Or can you do it by yourself?” Soobin steps closer, a gulp sounds from Hyun and you have to stifle a giggle.
“This isn’t over, Y/n is mine.” He says before scurrying off to his car.
“Soobin, oh my god. Thank you.” You breath out a shuddered sigh as you basically fall into his embrace. “Hey, it’s okay. He’s gone, let’s go inside and eat while dinner is hot, Angel.”
You nod your head before pausing, what did he just call you? Better question, should you change your underwear? Because oh my god, that was hot. Angel is a special name for you, almost all of your ex’s called you that in bed. Hearing it leave Soobin’s mouth has something stirring inside.
“Uh, okay…” You swallow.
The house feels so much nicer when Soobin is home, so much more lively.
“What movie should we watch?” He asks, removing the takeout from the plastic bags. While thinking, your eyes drift down to his hands and notice how his veins protrude every time he grabs something, you follow one until it disappears under his skin.
“Y/n, are you okay? Did he hurt you at all?” Your friend asks concerned.
“Huh? Sorry, I’m fine, thank you. Do you wanna watch the first Harry Potter movie?”
“Absolutely, I love that movie. Here, take this. This is your fried rice, this is your egg drop soup, these are your crab rangoons, and this is your chow mein.” The food is hot in your arms, almost too hot, as you both walk towards your couch. You happily set the food on your coffee table.
////////////////////
Harry Potter was captivating for the first 30 minutes, then Soobin became a little more interesting.
“Are you serious? I had no idea.” Your stunned face has him throwing back his head in laughter.
“Yea, it’s true. Maybe try using google?” He teases.
“Oh shut up…” You push his shoulder, something catches your attention as you do so. His eyes. You’ve never been so close to really study his eyes before. To test out your theory you put a hand on his shoulder, his eyes change into a darker brown with a tinge of red. Like a chocolate covered strawberry almost.
“I didn’t know your eyes changed color?”
“They’re mood changing, do you like them?” He smiles at you.
“I really do, they’re kind of red right now, what does that mean?” You lean in and pull down his lower eyelid to get a better look.
“Heh, it happens when you touch me” Your eyes go wide, hearing that makes you aware of how close you are and how your hand is still on his face. Harry Potter is only a sound in the background as Soobin grabs the hand touching face, and holds it.
The feelings you’ve been holding in feels like water boiling over the sides of a pot. The way he holds your hand, his gaze of red that’s becoming more apparent the more you look at one another. “Soobin…” Your voice is breathy and you’re not exactly sure why you said his name, it just felt right.
“Angel..” He replies, leaning closer. The name once again does something to you. Your heart might beat out of your chest if you’re not careful. You peak at his lips once more, the natural pout he has is calling you and you can’t take it anymore. Meeting him halfway, your lips shyly meet. It feels amazing though, you’ve been wondering what it’d be like to kiss him for so long now.
The kiss deepens as you both gain confidence, his free hand comes to settle on your waist.
The need for air stings eventually, it pains you more to pull away but you must. It only lasts for a second as you briefly make heated eye contact again, your lips slam together in a lust filled kiss. It’s messy and has the hand on your waist tightening it’s hold and pulling you even closer into him. Your own free hand makes it to his cheek.
His tongue makes its way into your mouth, this is so unlike the first kiss you shared. He was hesitant but now it’s completely different. The heat in the air is getting to you as you let out a whine.
“Soobin, I need you, please.” Your voice is pathetic as you beg for him to do something.
“I didn’t know you’d be so needy so fast…Angel.” The name has your heart skipping a beat and your thighs itching to rub together, Soobin smirks at your reaction. The hand holding your own gently lets go in favor of pushing you back against the couch. Your shirt has ridden a bit at the bottom, the cold-ish polyester against your exposed lower back has you jolting a little.
“You think I didn’t notice how you reacted to that name? Angel, you’re so cute, y’know that?” He hovers over you, leaning down to messily kiss down your neck, a hand moves from next to you to up the sides of your shirt.
The want you’ve been hiding has you already clenching around nothing as he rests his weight on you, now you’re able to feel how mouthwateringly hard he is. Which honestly confuses you, but he was also made for this so you don’t question it too much. You’re not sure you’re even able to right now, the way his hands feel on your skin, as well as how he’s working your collarbone like it owes him money.
Times like this you’re glad you don’t live in an apartment, the desperate noises he’s already pulling out of you would be tricky with such close neighbors.
“Can I take off your shirt?” He sweetly questions, tearing away from your skin to look you in the eyes. His eyes are a deeper wine colored red you take note as you nod your head. Soobin dips back in to kiss you again before removing the offending clothing.
In pure desperation, you raise his own shirt enough to feel his skin on yours. It’s addicting and you don’t stop raising his shirt until he gets the memo and grabs the back of it, pulling it over his head. The sight has you practically drooling. He’s toned, not too muscly, but just enough that it catches your attention.
“This is so cute on you.” He breathes out, tugging lightly on your bra before continuing, “But I really need to take it off.” You nod and clench when his hands warmly drift up your back to the clasp.
Your nipples instantly harden at the cool air and especially how he’s looking at you. His gaze lowers to your chest and eyes your nipples stiffening, without a second thought he latches on to one and sucks. His tongue occasionally flicks over it and it has your back arching, breathy whines leave your mouth as one of your hands ends up gripping the strands of hair at the back of his head.
“Soobin, please.”
“You sound so pretty for me. What do you need Angel?” He asks, an inch above your wet chest.
“I need to feel you, I’ve been waiting so long for this.”
That causes him to smirk, “You’ve been thinking about me? About us?”
You nod, heated cheeks on display. “How could I deny you, Angel.” He says before unbuttoning your jeans, he slips the zipper down and shuffles them off your legs. Now it’s time for him to undo his belt and nothing could break your attention away. The outline of him is obvious as he works his belt and pants.
“Ready?” He questions as he grips himself.
You nod as a finger slips up and down your slit, it has your hips bucking into his hand. He adds another and is thoroughly enjoying how wet you are for him. His fingers settle on your ever-growing clit and wow, your imagination does not compare to the actual thing.
He scoops some of your slick up and spreads it along his shaft, a couple veins shine because of it and it almost has you coming already. “Soobin.” You whine impatiently, a light chuckle leaves him as he guides himself to your entrance. One last glance is shared between you two before he pushes in, the initial sting has your fingers gripping the fabric under you, while a gasp leaves you both.
It’s a delicious feeling really, the fullness of him mixed with the pure intimacy of it all. He bottoms out and waits for you to adjust to him, “Y-you can move.” You’re already out of breath, the wind being knocked out of you when he simply pushed in.
For the first few thrusts Soobin is relatively quiet, it isn’t until he sets a good pace that the sounds rip out of him. “Fuck, you’re so good for me, Y/n. I knew you’d be.” His hands grip your hips to stop you from scooting upward every time he thrusts, the grip tightens every time you clench around him as well.
“From the second I saw you, I wanted to have you like this. God, you feel amazing. So tight and wet for me, you’re perfect.” The praise hurtles you closer and closer to finishing around him.
He breaths out and pushes himself to sit on his knees, your legs are thrown over his shoulders messily as he picks up his pace. The sound of skin hitting skin and your own whiney moans mixed with his gruff and gravely ones fills the room. Soobin takes it a step further and grinds hotly into you a few times. Pleasure fizzles in your abdomen and you know you don’t have long.
The way his hair sticks to his forehead, and how his skin is damp is a sight you’ve been waiting for. How gone he looks as he plunges himself inside you, deeper and deeper. You probably look pretty fucked out yourself, knowing you. His sneaky fingers trail down to your clit and his thumb doesn’t let up, even when you start spasming a bit.
“Soobin I’m so close.” Your face nuzzles into your arm as the growing feeling is close to exploding.
“Look at me.” You can’t hear him very well thanks to the blood rushing behind your ears so he takes it upon himself. His pointer finger and thumb grip your chin to move your head accordingly, his eyes meet yours again and the band snaps within you. Hips buck into his and your back arches, your eyes clamp shut as the euphoric feeling spreads from your pelvis to your limbs and abdomen.
He keeps going until he can’t anymore and stills. Loud groans are heard as he finishes in you and you hope you never forget how he sounds.
“Don’t worry, you can’t get pregnant from me.” He huffs out, which causes a laugh to leave you at the timing of his words.
/////////////////////
“Hey, Soob. My work is having a ‘bring your partner to work’ day today. I keep forgetting to ask you about it, do you wanna go? I’d like having you there.” You grip his arm in a hug as you ask.
“Sounds fun, I’d love being there with you. I’ll get dressed.” He smiles, giving you a sweet kiss before he departs.
The ride there was nice, Soobin just naturally relaxes you. Usually going to work sucks but he makes it better.
“Ok, here we are. I’m on the 6th floor.” You shut your door as does he.
“Wow and here I thought you were the CEO.” He jokes , taking your free hand in his. You side eye him with a joking glare. “Keep it up and I’ll make you take the stairs.”
Walking onto your floor was interesting, couples littered the desks and it was odd to see. Usually your floor is quiet and honestly…boring. The atmosphere was less gray and you liked it.
“Wow is this your office?” Soobin eyes the room with wide eyes.
“Yeah, do you like it? I think it represents me pretty well.” You grip a seat and drag it over to your chair before patting it. He obliges and sits down, peering at your computer screen as you turn it on and already get to clicking stuff.
“I will be right back, I have to get what I printed. I don’t like constantly staring at a screen so I print out my work, so wait here, k?” He nods and leans on your desk. You take a moment to admire his outfit , mainly his hair. It sits dreamily infront of his eyes, sometimes you honestly wonder how he’s able to see.
The printer soon comes into view and you can spot your paper on it as well. The second it’s in your hands you spin your heels and book it, not fast enough apparently.
“Y/n, wait up, let me walk with you.”
There’s no way. You’re hearing things. Turning your head around, you peak over your shoulder to incredulously gaze at Hyun, a soft slimy smile on his face.
“Can I help you?” You don’t stop walking, he unfortunately catches up to you though.
“Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to dinner tonight. Couples day has me in the mood for some…company. Ever since my girlfriend left me 5 years ago, y’know? And I think we’re the only ones here without a partner, so it’s a match made in hea-“ You finally enter your office and see Soobin wiggling a pencil in the air, that paired with Hyun’s reaction to Soobin even being there has a fierce giggle threatening to spill out.
“What’s he doing here? This is partners day.”
You sit down next to Soobin and he possessively reaches out for your hand, never breaking his glare towards the intruder.
“Well, Hyun, if you must know, he’s my boyfriend.” Your unimpressed stare doesn’t falter as he processes this information.
“You can leave now.” Soobin deadpans, getting up to shut the door. Hyun doesn’t get a word in before your boyfriend shuts the door in his face. You both share a look before he comes to sit down, patting your back soothingly.
You really thought it ended there because he didn’t bother you for the rest of the day.
That night when you’re perched on Soobin’s lap, lustful kisses being pressed onto the skin of your neck, is when you unexpectedly get a phone call. You’re literally humping his bulge when it happens. “Who is it?” He asks, feeling you up regardless.
Peering over his shoulder, “Mm, just a random number. Should I answer it?” You smile flirtatiously at him. He catches on and leans back to grab the phone, giving you a wink before you press accept.
“Hello?” It takes your boyfriend a millisecond to get back to his antics, but this time his hands are on your ass, guiding your movements over him. His eyes tinge pink before settling for the usual red they usually are during certain escapades.
“Is this Y/n? It’s me Hyun.” Soobin halts, you both stare at each other in shock. His eyebrows furrow, he goes back to what he was doing, now, with a purpose and you can definitely feel the difference. The wine red of his eyes change once more, this time a deep purple.
He nips at your neck and it’s starting to become difficult to speak coherently.
“H-how did you get my number?” His hands knead your ass and the button of his jeans hits your clit, you try to cough away the gasp that escapes you but you’re sure it didn’t help.
“I got it from the office’s-“ You don’t hear the rest because Soobin has decided to turn around and drop you on your bed. You giggle at the way you bounce before remembering you’re on the phone, you laugh out a “sorry, what?” before remembering who you’re talking to.
“Are you okay, Y/n?” The more Hyun presses the more clothes you lose. Your boyfriend pops open your pant’s button and fly before tearing down the pants from your legs, your shirt next.
“Y-yea I’m fine. Is there something you need, Hyun?”
You thankfully weren’t wearing a bra, Soobin seems very grateful. His bites and sucks has your underwear dampening even more and an insatiable need falling over you. Hyun says something but you can’t make it out. The man on top of you takes the hand holding your phone and sets it on your comforter, plucking the device from your grip and throwing it into your pillows.
“Got you all to myself now. God, you’re so wet.” He slips off your ruined underwear and slides a few fingers up and down your wetness, getting them ready for you.
The first breach of his middle finger is satisfying, but not as much as his cock. You’ll get that eventually though.
It doesn’t take long for him to have added another and to slam them into you. His fingers are long and slender, they have your thighs clamping together. Which Soobin is having none of, his free hand forces your legs apart and your clit throbs from the feeling.
“Soobin, please fuck me. Need you so bad.” Your hands settle on his lower abdomen, slightly scratching the skin. “I love when you beg for me, love when you beg for me to fuck this tiny little cunt.” Your lower lip trembles at his words and you mentally prepare yourself. Soobin isn’t usually this dirty, but you’re not complaining.
The man teases your slit, sticking in his tip and hissing when your walls beg him to keep going. But he pulls out in favor of swirling his head around your, now, wet clit. “You love this don’t you, baby?” He huffs out. Before you’re able to answer, he pushes in, you throw your head back and enjoy the feeling of his veins and ridges gliding along your gummy walls so perfectly.
“There you go, baby, you like it when I fill this cute cunt up with my cock?” Nodding and whining wasn’t cutting it this time.
“Use your words.”
“Y-yes, I love it.” Your hands reach for his shoulders, trying to stay coherent for a little longer.
“I know, baby, I know.”
His thrusts pick up momentum and soon his hips are smacking into you. “You’re mine, aren’t you, baby? All mine, no on else’s.” His pelvic bone grazes your clit and you’re finding it hard to speak. All that comes out is babbling and needy whines and moans, “That good? Am I fucking you that good?” You nod furiously, hoping he’ll take that as an answer.
Just like the first time you had sex, he takes your legs into his hands. But this time he presses them to your chest and groans at the sight of you so exposed for him. The way your cunt takes him so effortlessly does things to him.
Soon, he notices the way you clench, and how your breathing becomes quicker. Suddenly, a moan that does not belong to either of you echos. His eyebrows furrow but when he makes eye contact with your pillows he understands. He tries not to stop his pace too much as he leans forward to rummage for your phone.
His lips curl in a devious smirk when he sees the call is still going.
“You enjoying this, Hyun? How I fuck my girl? Do you wish you were here instead of me? Getting to see and feel how fucking wet she is, how tight her little cunt is? What it looks like when she’s full of cum? Call her one more time and I promise you it’s not going to end well.” The only thing that’s heard is a gasp and a choked moan before Soobin hangs up. He exhales before he grips your thighs and jackhammers his hips into you.
“Coming, fuck, I’m coming.” You practically yell, legs shaking as you release all over his cock. The added wetness and the way there’s a white ring forming around his base pushes him over the edge, he spills inside you, hips stuttering to an end.
“Hopefully that helps get him off your back, but I’m happy to do this again if it doesn’t.” He smiles, leaning in to capture your lips.
“You okay?” He questions, pulling out, wiping his forehead with his forearm as well.
“Yea, I am. I love you, Soob.”
The sentiment and the nickname has his dark brown eyes swirl with light pink. “I love you too.”
———————————————————
TAGLIST : @tyunlovie @kyrkitten @rencarnationofangel @jimin2014 @starstruckluminarytale @soobsfairy444 @fathersoneric @ethie @rlvslouis @gyulz @woniebae @rjsmochii @wtfjongseong @boba-beom @mybabywearschanel @chiefturtlebonkghost @bergandysam @qluvrv @genshinsoobs @bucketofhiros @dilfjohhny @meikoo
if i didn’t tag you it’s bc tumblr couldn’t find your blog!!
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deanbrainrotwritings · 10 months ago
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—   KEEP THE LIGHTS ON
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SUMMARY : “Hi!! First time requesting a fic so if this is dumb.. well yeah. A fic where Dean and the reader are about to do it (😏😏) and hes very focused on her thighs/hips area and she's got stretch marks there and he traces/kisses/grabs them? It's rough, intense, and passionate? 😳😶 okay love you and your writing byeee 🏃‍♀️” — anon
PAIRING : dean winchester x fem!reader
CHARACTERS : none
WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), smut, as always unspecified skin colour and weight (lol), 
WORD COUNT : 2.0k
A/N : close your eyes song title. I loved this request as soon as I got it, and that’s why it didn’t take long! I’ve seen some stretch marks are lighter than the skin and others are darker than the skin and also that they feel like grooves so, I hope this is okay! *insert Scott Pilgrim and the L-word scene bc I can’t say ILY* AND HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY Xx
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You’d never been so comfortable and confident with a man before. Comfortable with yourself. Confident in your own skin.. Every insecurity you had in every other aspect of your life, sex-releated or not, flew out the window because you knew Dean. 
He had a way of making you feel beautiful all the time. Either with his facial expressions when you caught him staring, his words when you were alone, his actions at any chance he had to get his hands on you. He was very expressive, wordlessly so, and gesticulating. 
You had to get to know the real him to understand him and, you know… he’s complicated. He’s guarded, but beneath all that there’s a soft centre to him, like a brownie. And overall, he’s sweet and good and soft. Perfect. Like a brownie. 
Eventually, getting a read on him gets easier, but not entirely easy. Which is why he was currently taking your breath away with his lips moving down your neck and his hands tangled in your hair as he guided you down the hallway to his room. But only after admitting he’d been wanting to get you in his bed for years and you’d be damned if you let your fears and worries get in the way of getting your first taste of him after pining for him almost as long as he’d carried a torch for you. 
You had to be stupid to believe that Dean was shallow and cared only about a woman's appearance or attractiveness. You never thought you weren’t enough all those times Dean left with or hit on any women but you. All you thought was that he simply didn’t see you that way, which was only half of the truth. He wanted something more than one night with you and he just didn’t have the guts to tell you so. 
But tonight, after a sleepy hangout at the Dean Cave, after watching a variety of movies that Dean liked—movies he excitedly wanted you to enjoy as well when you said you’d never watched them before. And then going to the kitchen to get more snacks for the next film… 
Well, you don’t really remember what led to it, maybe you said something in your exhausted state. Or maybe he did. You had a feeling that if you made the first move and confessed something you wouldn’t have in the right state of mind, he’d hold it over you and tease you about it—if everything went well. 
Or maybe it was just a buildup of every little thing that the two of you shared with each other and all the history and all of everything else that you were. 
Now that you had his mouth on yours, quick and firm and desperate for attention and for a taste of you… You had a feeling making your stomach flutter. To some extent, the two of you were very aware of each other’s feelings and still decided to do nothing about it. 
What a waste of fucking time. 
Still, something about waiting made this much more intense. Your skin ignited at his touch when his fingers snuck up into your shirt. Your flesh became warmer and warmer after each rapid heartbeat, excitement from his wet, breathy kisses. The air in your lungs failed to escape correctly, failing to reach the full capacity of oxygen the more thrilled you became. 
You wanted to devour him whole. But all you could do was kiss him back with as much passion and fervour as you possibly could. Your palms smoothed up scarred skin, flushed and warm and taut. Your nails scratched and your fingers tugged at anything of his that you could hold onto. 
When you got to his room, he’d made your head spin more than it already was from his kiss when he pushed you into his bedroom door to shut it. 
“Sweetheart,” he moaned against your mouth and your breath audibly hitched. The sound of his voice, the way he spoke that pet-name to you made your stomach clench and your clit throb. Or maybe it was the way he pinned your lower body to the door with his hips and the way he held your gaze when he flexed his hand beneath your shirt, his fingers spread across your ribcage.
His other hand moved back up to your cheek and his thumb brushed against your cheekbone. Your lips parted at first when he did that and your eyes searched his curious eyes longingly, but he seemed to be on his own mission. You bit your lip anxiously instead as you attempted to maintain eye contact, your cheeks burned when his green eyes dropped down to your lips. All you could feel was his erection pressed into your soft skin through the flimsy layers of his pyjama pants. 
And then his cock twitched. 
It was driving you crazy.
Being this close to him felt like a chemical reaction. You bubbled as he came into contact with you and you could probably evaporate into nothing if you were just a reactant. You never thought you’d feel consumed entirely by a person as if they were a reagent. You’d be embarrassed if it were anyone else but Dean who made you feel this pathetic. 
Your eyes reacted faster than your body when Dean dove back down to capture your bottom lip. He sucked on it softly and rolled his hips into you and you breathed shakily against his mouth at the combination of pleasant sensations that occurred simultaneously. 
You buried your fingers in his hair and then you felt his own gripping your hips tightly. God, you wished he’d dig into you and mark you permanently, but instead your thoughts ran through the imaginary engine of a plane and turned into smithereens when his tongue entered your mouth.
He lifted you up and his hands slid roughly from your ass to your thighs. You clung to him and kissed him hard, pouring yourself wholly into the kiss until he drunkenly stumbled to his bed and dropped you into it. All the while, he was still completely attached to you and getting more desperate now that you were as malleable as dough in his expert hands.
He pulled away from you breathlessly, lips parted and wet and red and perfectly kissed. His cheeks puffed a little and he had a tiny smile that shined mostly in his eyes when they fluttered open. You thought you’d be sucked right into his dilated pupils as he admired you beneath him, but he went right back to your neck and your cleavage while his hands pushed and pulled away at your clothes to get you naked.
For the fraction of a second, your body snapped out of the trance he’d placed you in when you felt his fingers trace and dip gently into the marks on your skin. The magic was gone only for a few moments when you opened your eyes to him between your bare legs, he looked up at you in surprise. Surprised at your reaction.
“What?” He frowned at you. The cute pout made your eyes brighten and your body relaxed once more as you smiled down at him. 
You were hesitant and he was patient. And then his expression mirrored yours, smiley. But he was so soft, with those crinkles at the corner of his eyes, and those dimples above his pillowy lips. He didn’t even make a big deal out of it and that made you release a soft breath and with it, the tension disappeared from your body. 
“Are you sure?” You asked him, pressing your teeth into your bottom lip. He lifted a brow at you before both brows came together in amused confusion. He slowly pulled himself up your body and shamelessly dropped his hips at your centre, practically grinding his covered erection against your bare, wet core. 
You inhaled sharply and he smirked at you. He slid his forearm up beside your head to balance his upper body above yours and continued to brush his thumb against the lines you were more than familiar with that resided at your hips. 
“Wanna hear it explicitly, is that it?” He murmured, his tongue dipping out to pull his lower lip into his mouth. Then he planted his teeth on the shimmering, plump flesh. What a journey. 
You were amused when your eyes flickered back up to his and you pulled your own lip between your teeth. He was cocky and maybe it didn’t help that you were a mess beneath him, but you couldn’t help yourself. 
“I’m gonna fuck you hard in my bed,” he told you. Your eyes widened slightly and you breathed unevenly as he rocked his hips against your heat. “But first, I’m gonna memorise every inch of your body and I’m gonna make you wait ‘til I’m satisfied. And only then,” he whispered, dropping kisses along your cheek and jaw, “I’ll give you what you want.” 
You licked your lips and allowed Dean to move lower to pepper kisses along your breasts until he slowly made his way back down between your legs. Part of you wanted to whine when he brushed his fingers over your stretch marks again, but there was something about how casual he was about them that made you want to see where this was going.
“What do I want?” You grinned down at him just as his lips made contact with the lines in contrasting colour to your skin. He smirked and looked at you through his lashes. His warm breath tickled your thighs when he chuckled and you shivered, bumping his bicep playfully with your knee. 
“Me, I hope,” he answered, almost bashfully. He buried his fingers into your hips and pulled at your skin, following the lines that decorated your body while keeping his eyes on you. You squirmed as he continued to touch and mouth at your stretch marks. “But mostly, my dick.” 
You laughed, “what?” And Dean nipped at your hip, along a few lines on either side of your body and your body shuddered pleasantly. 
“You asked what you wanted. I said: me and my dick,” he recapped for you playfully. You rolled your eyes at him, but you couldn’t help smiling. Dean went from playful to sexy and dragged his lips down your pelvis. Your hips wiggled in anticipation and your breath became shallow, but Dean only breathed against your soaked cunt. “If… all ‘a this proves anything.”
The warm air slipping between his lips aroused you to the point of wanting to pull his face between your legs and trap him there with your thighs. You felt yourself turn hot at his words, both from embarrassment and from lust.
“Dean, please,” you begged with a whiny laugh. 
Instead of replying with something witty, he swirled his tongue around your entrance with a moan. You felt his spit and you held your breath when he flatted his tongue and dragged it up to your clit. You closed your eyes and arched your back when he sucked and flicked the tip of his tongue against your clit. 
And then it was all gone and your body became loose once more. You opened your eyes to Dean pulling his shirt over his head, exposing the freckled skin you’ve always wanted to kiss and mark with your mouth when you patched him up on hunts. 
Before you could get your hands on him, he got out of bed and pulled his pants and boxers down his legs swiftly. He barely gave you time to see, to admire what you came to accept as the prettiest cock you’d ever seen. 
“I told you,” he smirked, slipping between your legs and lowering himself on your body to kiss you. “I’m takin’ my time.” You groaned in protest against his lip, but eventually every complaint you had on taking it slowly dissipated from your mind as he pushed and pulled at your body in ways you didn’t think you’d liked until he began working your body. 
You didn’t want to admit it, but dammit… Sex with Dean was better and more satisfying than the sex you had with any other man. 
You couldn’t tell Dean that. Never. It’d go to his head. Rightfully so, but still. All you could think about is the embarrassment he’d cause you to feel by reminding you, every chance he had—with that smug smirk of his—about how good you said he makes you feel. Better than any other man. 
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nomazee · 2 years ago
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pry your way in
sebastian (sdv) x gn reader
word count: 4.7k (oh my god)
content: mutual pining, ROMANTIC TENSION, aggressive pining on the reader’s part, do they kiss or do they not, social anxiety (can u TELL), embarrassing situations, comedy (maybe) (hopefully) (maybe you’ll get a little giggle out of this and swing your feet around), so much build up, the slowest burn you could possibly get in under 5k words
notes: oh HEY guys so i went crazy again and i don’t think i’ve ever written so much in one sitting. this is insane. look at what this game has done to me. 
part 1 part 2 (you are here) part 3
<><><><><>
All you need to do is drop off these stupid eggs in Gus’s fridge. That’s it. In and out and then you can go home and pretend that you did not stare at Sebastian for almost an entire straight minute in the doorway of the saloon. 
He’s too busy playing pool, you think, and from the brief (many) glances you’ve taken at them, it looks like he’s pretty close to beating Sam. Your heart goes out to the blonde. One day, for sure, he’ll be able to get more than three balls in an entire game against Sebastian. 
The fridge door is open now. No one notices you except for Emily, who gives you a kind nod and a smile. You don’t know if you should be upset by the fact that no one really talks to you whenever you go to the saloon unless you talk first, or if you should be incredibly relieved. It’s leaning to the latter, because you don’t think you could handle being looked at right now especially by Sebastian because good god the jellyfish thing was so embarrassing and you really hope he’s forgotten about it because oh my god you actually almost puked all over his shoes and what is wrong with you and—
“Farmer!” Oh god. It’s a woman’s voice. It’s Abigail, and despite the fuzz in your mind you can tell by the timbre of her voice and the fact that the shout came from over by the pool table. You managed to get two eggs in the container in the fridge before being ousted. Good job. You hope Gus’ extreme ginormous 24-egg omelet is worth all of this. 
If you tried really hard, you could have played it off as if you didn't hear her at all. But then she’s walking over to you and you hear her footsteps and they’re light, friendly. Unfortunately, that does nothing to stop you from freezing up and feeling every individual cell in your body go taut.
Maybe she’s going to kill you, or something, because maybe you did actually puke all over Sebastian’s sneakers nights before this and your mind just blocked it out. Oh god. Well, this town was nice while it lasted. You hope they’ll bury you in a nice spot out of courtesy. 
Turning to face Abigail, you manage to give her a shaky sort of grin and wave. “Oh. Hey. I didn't know you were here.” You are such a liar. And a bad one, probably. 
“Yeah! Me and Sam and Sebastian.” You nod at that. A pause, and then, “Hey, are you busy tonight? We were wondering if you wanted to join us. We’re playing pool, but— um, it’s mainly just those two playing. They’ve got a rivalry going on.” 
She looks back at them and watches, amused, and you do the same for a moment. Sam is in the middle of making some big joke-y scene, throwing his head back and groaning and swatting at Sebastian while the other man just barely ducks away from his attacks. They’re laughing, and elbowing each other and you look away before either of them notice that you’re watching with the intensity of a wild deer. 
“Oh, I don’t know. Thank you. I don’t want to come if not everyone wants me to join.” 
“Everyone does,” Abigail tells you, and she’s really telling you. With purpose. There is something in her eyes. Something imploring and meaningful and her lips are quirking up in some pretty and teasing smile, and you’re wondering what’s so different about the way Pelican Town people are raised to make them carry so much weight in their eyes. So much weight that it makes you dizzy. And nauseous. And now maybe you’ll puke on Abigail’s shoes, instead.
“Okay.” It comes out as a whisper from your shaky mouth. She only smiles brighter at you. You register that you’re still behind Gus’s counter and there are drinks being shaken and poured just steps behind you. “Okay, I’ll be over in a second.” 
Great, she tells you, and then she’s turning around and walking away with a little jump and you might throw up because why did you agree to this? You did not plan on talking to people this evening. Not at all. And you’re wishing so hard that you had just dropped these eggs off in the morning. This is the type of stuff that happens when you don't just drop eggs off in the morning. Just your luck. 
You shake your head, as if maybe it’ll rattle your senses into being ready to spectate a pool game and talk with people for at least half an hour. And Sebastian. You don’t think you could handle the intensity of just sitting next to him. You might throw up again. All over the pool cues and the fuzzy cloth of the pool table. And maybe Sam’s shoes. Everyone’s shoes are getting thrown up on this week. 
Eventually, you make the walk out from the counter and consider just leaving through the door and telling Abigail later on that you just felt sick and needed to go home. It wouldn’t be a lie. You are a person of half-truths, most definitely. 
But you don’t, because you like Abigail and you want her to like you too. By the look of everything she’s done for you, you’re fairly certain that she does like you, or at least more-than-tolerates you, and you would like to keep it that way instead of burning down all of your Stardew Valley relationships in a slow, painful fire. (And okay, yes, maybe it’s a benefit that she’s friends with Sebastian. So what.) 
You blink. You’re in front of the three of them. Abigail and Sam are smiling at you and Sebastian is giving you a look. What is it with the people in this valley and their looks?! You have yet to be able to decode any of them. This is rough. So rough. You’re falling back into the uncomfortable feeling of otherness. Of just-barely-not-fitting. Like squeezing between a desk and a wall. Every other day you are walking through just fine, and the other days you are squeezing between this town and the people and everything you have yet to learn. 
You might puke. You’re not making it out of this saloon alive. 
“Hey, farmer!” Sam greets you, and your chest is struck with endearment over how everyone calls you farmer. Maybe it’s just because they forgot your name, but you can’t seem to mind it at all. “Are you joining us?” 
“Oh, just for a bit,” you tell him. You can’t help the smile that takes over your face, warmed and sheepish. “And then I should go. But I’m a big fan of watching you guys argue over pool. Really, it’s very captivating.” 
Abigail chortles, taking pleasure in the playful sarcasm you’ve adapted to. When Sam and Sebastian both follow suit in their own little laughs, your defensive habits slip away the slightest bit. And you can’t seem to find it in you to hold onto them. 
“Less of an argument and more of a…” Sebastian pauses with a teasing glance at his friend. Your heart stops for no reason other than you being stupid and in love, and it only chokes you up when he directs his stupid stupid pretty eyes right at you. “More of Sam being a sore loser. It’s an easy win on my part, really.” 
A snicker escapes you, undignified in how easily you let it out and how it threatens to reverberate against the walls of the game room. You’re holding onto yourself for dear life, trying to ground yourself in some attempt to maybe keep some of your dignity before it’s worn away through the course of the evening. 
But Sebastian has this prideful simper on his face and it’s like he’s happy to make you laugh. Maybe it’s the loving delusions running through your head. But you let yourself dream, just for a minute. 
Stupid boy. The urge to kiss him is slowly hurtling its way through your entire system, and it’s starting with your respiratory tract judging by the way you can’t seem to catch a breath. Stupid. Boy. 
“You can sit down, you know,” and he nods his head to the pair of chairs behind him. “Stay a while.” His eyes are filled with a stupid teasing glimmer and you might pull him aside just to kiss that expression right off his face. 
You won’t. Obviously. Because look at what happened last time you let your inhibitions run free. (Absolutely. Nothing.) 
Maybe I will, you want to say, stay a while. Maybe I’ll stay forever. 
You take a seat, and Sebastian is still leaning against the table with his pool cue in hand. He is looking at you, hesitant, with his mouth slightly open like he wants to say something. Before he can, Abigail interrupts. 
“Wait, let me take over for you!” She says, rushing forward to steal the cue from him. “I want to play! You guys, like, totally monopolize the table every time we’re here.” Abigail’s eyes flit to Sebastian, then to you, and she continues, “Next time, let’s just play the two of us. You and me, farmer.” 
There’s another big, stupid smile stretching your face taut and you hope none of them notice your cracked, drying lips. They’re peeling open from how much you’re grinning tonight and how much you’re not moisturizing them. “Of course.” 
Sebastian is left with nothing in his hands once Abigail turns to aim her cue and hit the white ball (poorly) in an attempt to keep up Sebastian’s winning streak. With her and Sam occupied, you are left with the black haired man standing aimless in front of you. Again. And his eyes are trailing you, with purpose and a goal to speak. Again. 
You throw his words back at him with, “Well, sit down. Stay a while.” And he does. And your stupid mind is wondering if maybe him following you so easily means something. Stupid stupid. 
“How’s, um. Your stomach,” he asks, stunted pauses littering his voice as he tries his best to look at you. You don’t know what he’s talking about, and it must show on your face because he’s clarifying, “From the ceremony last week. I haven't seen you since then so I figured you must’ve been sick.” 
Sebastian is prying. Not in his words, but in the way he’s looking at you. Really, really looking, and this feels like a repeat of last week and you are reliving a million and one things that you would rather never relive again. 
Your palms are suddenly cold and you’re avoiding his gaze, body stiff with guilt. You’d been avoiding him for a week and you honestly hadn’t even noticed. It was like a subconscious response to humiliating yourself in front of the pretty boy that you’ve liked for weeks now. You hope he doesn’t blame you for that, somehow. 
“Right. Um, I was fine. I’m fine now, I mean. I turned out fine. Sorry for all of that,” your feet are shuffling against the ground and you drag patterns into your pants to comfort yourself. “It was kind of embarrassing. To have you walk me home and then suddenly get sick. I really am sorry for that.” 
“Don’t even worry about it.” There’s a sureness in his voice. When you find the courage in your lungs to turn and look at him, you’re met with a furrowed brow and steady eyes. It’s overwhelming you with ten different feelings, many of which are yelling at you to KISS HIS STUPID FACE. “Seriously. It wasn’t embarrassing, either. Things happen. I’m just glad you’re okay, now.” 
Sebastian ends it with another one of his chest-aching, brain-melting, palm-sweating smiles and he’s doing that stupid thing with the corners of his mouth. He probably doesn’t even know he’s doing it, and that’s what frustrates you the most. Maybe you should tell him, but he would take it the wrong way and stop doing it and you wouldn’t survive without seeing that stupid smile. As much as it makes you want to tear your hair out if you look at it for too long. 
You give him a firm nod. The rest of the night is easy conversation. You have one drink. Really, you make sure of it, because you haven’t gotten intoxicated in months and you really don’t want to see what drunk-you does in Stardew Valley in front of the sweet townspeople and the stupid pretty man in front of you. Said stupid-pretty-man follows suit, only having a pale ale and indulging in shirley temples for the rest of the night. (You punch yourself for finding it endearing that he likes such a sweet drink. Urgh.) 
It feels like a parallel universe of the Moonlight Jellies celebration of last week. One where you are a much less awkward person (but, really, there’s just barely a difference between now and before), and where you offer to walk him home instead of the other way around. Your stupid infatuated heart skips a stupid beat when you ask him if you can walk him back, but it quells when he gives you an easy smile and agrees. You pointedly ignore the voice in your head telling you that he sounds almost enthusiastic.
Sam and Abigail wish you goodnight, and they’re both beaming at you in a silly way that makes you follow suit. Giggles bubble in your chest and you don’t even know why. You think they must just have those kinds of personalities, and you really couldn't be more happy to seep into it. 
You don’t hold Sebastian’s hand on the way back. Not at all. In fact, you don’t even feel the urge to. You totally, totally don’t look at his hand swaying between you and fight the instinct to grab it and trace your fingers across his palm lines and the dips of his knuckles and all the scars he’s collected in his youth. You. Do not. Feel that way at all. 
It’s easy conversation, yet again. It’s almost impressive how, even with how easily you seem to do the most mortifying, awkward things in front of Sebastian, you still slip into moments with him where you can talk like you’ve known each other forever. God. Something about this town. You can’t tell if you want to catch the next operable bus out of here or stay here forever. You feel that way often, actually. 
Before you know it, you’ve cut through the city and ended up in the mountains and in front of his house. The lights are off. It must be super late, then, if everyone’s dead asleep like that. 
Crickets chirp and buzz in the air. You and Sebastian stop walking in the middle of the large dirt patch that takes up his front yard. Now, you’re looking at each other, and he’s giving you his awkward stupid gorgeous downward grin. You hope that you’re giving him something at least half as pretty, with the way you feel your lips stretch and crack again. You really need to get lip balm from Pierre’s. 
“It’s so late,” you mutter, because you don’t know what else to say and your heart is melting and slipping right out of your chest and onto the soil. “I guess I should go home.” 
You hope—cross-your-fingers-say-a-prayer type of hope—that he hears the hesitancy in your voice. That he realizes you don’t want to leave. That he sees the fondness in your eyes and how you’re trying to soften every defense mechanism you’ve ever learned in order to pry into him, now. And you hope. Cross your fingers and say a prayer. That he wants that, too. 
He hums a thoughtful, quiet sort of hum. Sebastian doesn’t move towards the door, or bid you a goodnight, or nod along and tell you he’ll see you another day. He waits. He is looking at you and prying you open and trying to gauge your reaction. To what, you don’t know, but there’s a static feeling in your head that tells you to wait and find out. 
“Right,” he says finally. His voice and his mouth curl carefully around the word, and it’s there again—the pauses, the hesitancy. You see your habits in him and you are aching with the need to find out what he means. What this all means. And you’re feeling stupid, and so you wait, too. 
“I think I feel bad leaving you to walk home,” Sebastian tells you. He’s speaking slowly, but not in a degrading way. It feels more like he wants the words to float to you and sink into the pores of your skin. And they do. They do, and it’s embarrassing, because now you’re sweating and hoping (again) that it doesn’t show on your face or your hands or the twisting of your fingers. “This is really far from the farm, you know.” 
“I think I would know,” you respond, teasing and lighthearted and acting like there isn’t a saturated yearning weighing down your body right now. “I can manage. I’ve been in the mines, you know. Seen all the monsters down there and everything.” 
He lets out a stupid breathy laugh and shakes his head. You hate how he acts so nonchalant, like it’s not obvious that you’re fighting the instinct to pick him up and shake him around like a bobblehead until his skull pops right off his neck. “Right, because there’s totally monsters down there.” 
“There are! You can come with me one day. I’ll prove it to you.” And it’s risky, to entertain that kind of thing, the concept of you two spending time together alone, where no one can see. Sebastian takes that as a challenge, apparently, because the diffident tilt of his lips turns smug and he’s saying,
“Then maybe you’ll sleep over one day.” 
Stttttupid boy. He’s stupid. The stupidest man you’ve ever met because now you’re really, really holding onto every last shred of your self-control. The thought of you in his house, with you both sleeping in the same twenty-foot-radius of space is making you heat up more than the valley’s summer sun. A frog croaks in a nearby bush. Nausea pools in your intestines. 
And you’re a terrible person, really, because even though you’re sweating and lightheaded from the heat you’re entertaining the thought of you both sleeping in the same bed. And it’s ridiculous. Really. You’re both adults who are perfectly capable of sleeping in the same bed without it meaning anything. Any particle of logic that enters your brain is vaporized by the heat of it. Your stomach is twisting and you swallow around the lump in your throat. 
He’s watching you. Still watching. Waiting for something to happen. The look he’s giving you is bordering on defensive, as if he’s anticipating a rejection. Stupid man. By now, he should realize you’re not prone to giving him rejections, of all people. 
“Maybe I will.” By some grace of whatever higher power is listening, you choke out the last puddles of your strength into a hopefully-confident tone of voice and the last words you have left in you for the night. It’s not a rejection. You hope he understands that. And he does. Oh, he has to understand what you mean by now, because he’s biting his lips and still. Looking at you. And waiting. All he does is wait. And you glance down and see his hands twitching at his sides. And you are going to do something. Something.
Oh, god. You’re thinking, Oh, okay, this is what this is, and he’s doing his stupid smile and the corners of his lips tuck in and you’re staring at them again. Really, really staring at them. You hope he notices. Your fingers are twitching now, too, almost aching with the need to hold something—to hold him and his twitching hands and spin them around in yours like a fingertrap. You want to get stuck and woven together, just for a moment. An aching, hurting, burning, devastating moment. 
It’s all you want. It’s all you’ve wanted for weeks now. And there’s a heat in your chest and your fingers and your head. Fingers twitching, eyes unblinking, and hands sweating; you wait. Wait for him to come closer. For him to do. Something. Soon. 
It’s an impossible task for you. You are not one for initiative. Never have been, not since you left your stupid office job and took up your place on this stupid farm and fell in love with this stupid man. Initiative is a daunting, horrifying, overwhelming concept, and all of your ambition has been drained from you ever since you planted your first parsnip in the ground. 
But but but. And this is how it always goes with you and Sebastian. But but but. There’s something about tonight. Something about tonight and the last week and the week before and the seasons before this that have carved this open wound into the middle of your diaphragm. Without even knowing it, Sebastian has clawed his way between your lungs and made an uneasy home in your heart. It’s disgusting, and maybe you’ll cough up all this adoration right on the doormat of his family’s house. 
How long has it been? How long have you both been standing here like idiots and waiting and breathing and staring? How long? You are asking yourself too many stupid questions. Initiative. You think of it again—and now your hands are on Sebastian’s shoulders and you don’t have half the mind to wonder when you stepped closer. 
You are not slow in your movements. Not at all. You are urgent and desperate and aching, but you give just enough time for him to pull away. In the back of your head, you wish that he’ll pull back and leave you empty and cold. But there is a warmth seeping through the cloth of his hoodie and tonight, you are stupid. 
You’re staring for just a moment before you close your eyes and surge forward slow enough for him to stop you, but fast enough that he won’t get the chance to look at your embarrassing, longing, yearning face before you kiss him. 
Because that’s it. You’re kissing him. You’re kissing him, with your hands gripping his shoulders with bruising strength, and with your feet planted into the ground to stop yourself from either floating or flinging yourself into the lake. You’re kissing him. And he’s not pulling away. And his hands reach to touch your elbows gently. For a moment, you think he’ll shove you down and run away, but his fingers are tapping along your arms, leaving a buzz in your bones and your head and your heart. 
You. Are kissing him. You are. You fucking. Did it. Joy floods your buzzing body and you hope he can’t hear how loud your skull is vibrating, how intensely your chest is rattling. Or how heavy your hands have become on his shoulders and how much you’re pushing back against him to get further, to pull him into you and you into him and pour in everything you’ve ever felt straight to his lungs. You’re kissing him. 
And he’s warm. So warm. Unexpectedly so, and you feel your entire body heat up in innocent adoration and you want his fingers to curl around your forearms and ground you. His hands shift, and for a minute you think he might pull away, but now he’s dragging his fingers in small paths up your arm, above your elbow and brushing your shoulders. Ggggggggod. God. You’re gonna scream into his mouth and slap him. Stupid man. 
In reality it lasts for a second, but the rush of feelings and thoughts and screams and cries that overwhelms your body makes it feel like it’s an hour. (At least ten minutes, maybe.) You wonder how he feels. You wonder if he’s trying to pour everything into you through this, too; or if maybe, he’s a normal fucking human being who is just kissing you to kiss you without all the grandeur and flourish and waxing poetic. Unbothered, you realize you won’t mind regardless of which it is. 
Your eyes are closed, and you hope his still are, too, because if he opens them and sees you you might throw up all over him. For the fortieth time this week. 
“Sebas— oh!” 
And. There’s a voice and a distressed exclamation. It’s Robin. Holy shit. It is his mother. 
The man you just spent an hour kissing (read: five seconds max) takes a moment to realize what just happened. You, on the other hand, have a ridiculous supercomputer in your head and you have long since figured out what just happened. You cannot believe this. This is embarrassing. A trip back to Zuzu City is well deserved now. 
“I’m— so sorry. Oh goodness.” Robin is being way too polite. You’d thought for sure she would’ve yelled at you and banned you from coming to the mountains ever again. You already kissed goodbye to both Sebastian (literally) and your mining career. And half your fishing career.
Sebastian’s face is flooded in color. It’s soaked in red and radiating heat that you can feel even with the ten-foot distance you had placed between yourselves. He’s not looking at you or his mother, eyes instead fixed on the patch of torn up dirt behind you. 
Finally, you process that Robin is the one apologizing to you, which is ridiculous and you wish she would’ve just pushed you into the river and screamed at you instead. You wish these people would’ve been a lot meaner to you already, and then maybe you would have never worked up the gall to kiss the man you’re stupidly in love with and cause this whole ordeal. 
“I’m so sorry,” and you’re the one saying it this time. You turn to look at Robin fully and resist the urge to fall to your knees and beg for her forgiveness. Tonight, you committed a mortal sin—giving her son a big fat heart-stopping kiss on the mouth right in front of their house—and you can only be forgiven by death, and death alone. 
There’s a confused look in her eyes, almost worried, and you think you might be actually shaking enough to launch yourself into the stratosphere like a space cannon. Instead, you channel the energy into completely turning yourself around and running away from the both of them. 
Disastrous. This night has been disastrous. You would’ve rather actually puked on everyone’s shoes instead of going through whatever the hell that was. You’re never going to catch a break in this stupid town with these stupid people and stupid Sebastian and his too-sweet-for-her-own-good mom. 
When you get home, you’re panting in exhaustion from sprinting across the valley, and your nerves and head are still buzzing and your lips are still warm from Sebastian’s being completely and willingly planted on them for about ten whole seconds. Your brain is too fried and melted to even consider the implications of everything you both just did, but you can’t seem to care. 
You’re embarrassed. Wholly and utterly humiliated, and for a moment you cross your fingers and pray to whoever will listen that you won’t be a topic of discussion during Robin and Sebastian’s family dinner with everyone else. 
You take a moment to catch your breath (an impossible thing) and finally collapse into your bed. You’re staring at your ceiling for what feels like hours, but you have a very poor sense of time and don’t trust that judgment at all. Everything settles in your head like mud shaken in a jar of water. And you smile. Dear god. Despite it all, you’re smiling and giddy and laughing to yourself, riding a high of schoolgirl-type-infatuation and post-kiss-adrenaline the weird, cruel excitement of the night. 
You kissed him. You kissed Sebastian. You. Fucking. Did it. 
The rest can be worried about tomorrow. Or maybe the day after that. Maybe even never, because you are absolutely going to avoid everyone and move in with the wizard instead, living in isolation for the rest of your life. But for now. You swing your feet and giggle like a twelve-year-old and replay the kiss in your head. Over and over. Like a sleep aid. You fucking did it.
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