#richard hazard

[lucylucex2007]

yeah

[bleedingcoffee42]

Dick Winters asked how he met DeEtta and talking about the guy at the YMCA named Mr. Hazard who woke him to go to church and his "uh, uh friends".

[thursdaymurderbub]

Silver Screen magazine

[clockworkouroboros]

I’ve picked up a VNA for the first time in nearly a year (Legacy by Gary Russell) and in all honesty, anytime I start working on VNAs again I always end up getting extremely nostalgic for the EDAs. I guess I just want my Dr Who prose fiction to have Eight and Fitz and Sam and Compassion and Anji and Trix. and we need more Kate Orman stories in the VNAs.

[jaclynhyde]

the injustice, unlimited plotline in infinity inc. is amazing. so the wizard gathers a bunch of old and legacy villains and blackmails infinity inc. and the global guardians into helping them. highlights from their evil plots:

artemis crock reunites with her loving parents by breaking them out of jail

hazard, the gambler's granddaughter, forces wildcat and tasmanian devil to get married in vegas

it's all part of her plot to force the casino to pay out to its patrons so yeah the marriage was the only actual crime:

anyway she's a villain for like two issues before she decides these people are losers and she's going to help the heroes not die

the shade takes lyta to get a trinket for his cane from some ruins, which just so happens to teach her about her unknown (after crisis bullshit) heritage

how does he know this? was he secretly helping a hero, again? no, no, he was definitely doing a villainy to power up his cane, which is definitely where his powers come from

great job at villainy, guys, no notes

[neutron-stars-collision]

Anyways I love looking like a lunatic on the train as I mouth song lyrics and shake my head to the beat :)))

It’s either that or staring breathlessly at gifs on my phone and getting progressively more flustered.

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: January 28, 1992

Lyrics:

My mother came to Hazard when I was just seven

Even then the folks in town said with prejudiced eyes, "That boy's not right"

Three years ago when I came to know Mary

First time that someone looked beyond the rumors and the lies

And saw the man inside

We used to walk down by the river

She loved to watch the sun go down

We used to walk along the river

And dream our way out of this town

No one understood what I felt for Mary

No one cared until the night she went out walking all alone

And never came home

Man with a badge came knocking next morning

Here was I surrounded by a thousand fingers suddenly

Pointed right at me

I swear I left her by the river

I swear I left her safe and sound

I need to make it to the river

And leave this old Nebraska town

I think about my life gone by

How it's done me wrong

There's no escape for me this time

All of my rescues are gone, long gone

Ooh-ooh-ooh

I swear I left her by the river

I swear I left her safe and sound

Oh, I need to make it to the river

And leave this old Nebraska town

Songwriter: Richard Marx

SongFacts:

👉📖

[vague-humanoid]

The Wall Street Journal has an incredible story today. The National Archives museum, under Biden-appointed U.S. Archivist Colleen Shogan, has been working to reshape its narrative of American history in order to make white conservatives more comfortable. The Journal describes a pattern of efforts to shape its newest upcoming exhibits to better fit right-wing narratives of U.S. history. The museum has removed references to Martin Luther King Jr., Japanese internment, Native Americans, union organizers, and birth control, because presenting American history honestly would make Republicans upset. 

The changes to the new exhibits are remarkable. A photo of King was replaced with one of Richard Nixon meeting Elvis Presley. A “proposed exhibit exploring changes to the Constitution since 1787,” including “amendments abolishing slavery and expanding the right to vote,” was reduced in size, and employees were told that “focusing on the amendments portrayed the Founding Fathers in a negative light.” Shogan “told employees to remove Dorothea Lange’s photos of Japanese-American incarceration camps from a planned exhibit because the images were too negative and controversial, according to documents and current and former employees” and her aides “also asked staff to eliminate references about the wartime incarceration from some educational material.” An exhibit on coal communities “cut references to the environmental hazards caused by the mining industry.” Shogan’s aides “also ordered the removal of labor-union pioneer Dolores Huerta and Minnie Spotted-Wolf, the first Native American woman to join the Marine Corps, from the photo booth, according to current and former employees and agency documents.” A photo of Betty Ford wearing an Equal Rights Amendment pin was removed from a video, and in an exhibit of “patents that changed the world,” the birth control pill was replaced with, of all things, the bump stock. The Journal notes that "Shogan’s changes have delayed the opening of new exhibits, initially set for next summer, and are expected to add at least $332,000 to costs."

The explicit justification here was that the facts would hurt the feelings of guests who didn’t want to hear about union organizers and Native Americans. Visitors shouldn’t “feel confronted,” the Archivist said, but rather “welcomed.” Of course, Japanese Americans or Native Americans are unlikely to feel “confronted” by exhibits on their history, so the archivist was clearly referring to making white conservatives feel more at ease. In fact, an employee was specifically “told to look for success stories about white people.” And, looking over an exhibit about westward expansion, Shogan asked a staffer “Why is it so much about Indians?”

@britomartis @el-shab-hussein @ubernegro

this is making me actually insane..... this is how we fight fascism? by whitewashing history in a nationalistic myth?

[fishfission-dc]

Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 2: Dick)

<<Part 1: Bruce    |    Part 3: Tim >>

[Masterlist]

Dick: My turn! And thank you Bruce for setting me up so perfectly!

Tim: OH MY GOD

Jason: Okay this one I can get behind

[disgruntled Bruce noises]

Babs: You prioritized those reasons... interestingly. 

Damian: I agree with Richard. My farm animals occasionally require my attention on a time-sensitive basis.

Bruce: People’s lives are literally on the line

Tim: IT WAS ONE TIME GUYS

Jason: “Great driver” is a stretch for you, Dickhead

Steph: Yeah haven’t you crashed like three cars

Dick: Okay sure but how many times has B crashed the Batmobile? Definitely more than three.

Duke: You’re a hazard to traffic in a Toyota Corolla, Dick. But I agree about Tim.

Tim: I CAN DRIVE

Dick: Plus everyone keeps changing their codename, it’s so much easier to just use their normal people names in a pinch.

Cass: (signs) Fair.

Jason: Maybe if Bruce stopped adopting so many Robins we would follow the rules.

[disgruntled Bruce noises]

Steph: SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

Bruce: Where did you get those pictures

Jason: Wow, Bruce not following his own rules? Who could have expected this baffling turn of events

Damian: Richard this is horrific

Bruce: Dick where did you find these

Jason: That meme is disgusting

Duke: I forget how much of a millennial you are sometimes

Steph: Maybe this is why we don’t answer your texts

Bruce: I-

Jason: Th-

Dick: I will be taking no questions at this time. Moving on-

Steph: JUSTICE FOR SPOILEROFFICIAL

Tim: Bruce please if Dick stops flirting with himself online can we have our accounts back

Bruce: No. 

Steph: He’s just mad because Nightwing had more followers than Bruce Wayne on Twitter

Babs: richard

Dick: :)

Tim: Doesn’t Bruce kiss Selina with the mask off too-

Bruce: IS THIS ALMOST OVER

Damian: Todd and Father sharing a meal without injuring each other? Fascinating.

Jason: This is literally so humiliating where did you get this

Dick: :)

Bruce: I just gave a presentation on why these restrictions are important

Cass: (signing) You break them. Often.

Steph: Yeah I don’t know, Dick makes some pretty good points. 

Bruce: [disgruntled Bruce noises]

Tim: My turn!

<<Part 1: Bruce    |    Part 3: Tim >>

[Masterlist]

[kquil]

JAMES POTTER | 04:01 ⏤ALWAYS SAFE

SUM. : you bring james his lunch that you cooked yourself and almost get injured

G. : fluff ; modern au ; muggle au ; ice hockey player james ; girlfriend reader ; very angry james ; protective james ; team training ; drill accidents ; reader being caring and sweet ; reader is wifey material ; james is husband material

LENGTH : 0.8k

NOT PROOFREAD OR EDITED

“James!” you shout across the rink, standing by one of your boyfriend’s coaches, Richard, who’s become like an uncle to you. The hockey captain doesn’t stop, however, unable to hear past the whistling wind by his ears atop his thick and sturdy headgear.

“Gonna have to shout louder than that, little lady ,” the older man chuckles, adjusting the cap on his head of silvering hair. 

You ponder to yourself for a moment before smirking, which makes Richard arch a curious brow at you, “Darling!” The instant you call across the ice rink, you see James’ head whip towards you before he grins widely behind the front guard of his head gear. Behind him, the rest of his team come to a skidding halt and also look over to your waving and cheering figure. You’ve become quite familiar with all of his teammates and they love to tease their captain for being so head over heels for you so the team begin snickering to themselves, some even cheekily whistling and nudging at James who pays them no mind, his sole focus fixed onto you.

“Baby!” he cheers, delight and excitement evident in his voice before he speeds his way over to you. Richard whistles for the rest of the team to run short drills while the ‘lovely couple’ have their lunch. 

“I’m sorry for being late,” you gnaw at your bottom lip regretfully, a guilty look taking over your expression as James hurriedly takes off his headgear and gloves, revealing his sweat-soaked locks matted down and clinging onto his forehead, “Richard told me you didn’t eat anything-” because you wanted to wait for me…

“Don’t worry about it,” James says gently, his smile just as bright but much softer as he takes in your sweet expression. There’s so much love in his gaze, you feel your own heart bursting at the seams to attempt at reciprocating his adoration. James brings a finger under your chin and lifts your gaze to meet his kind stare; even though he appears sweaty, dishevelled and rugged from training, he’s just as handsome as ever, “you sounded really excited over the phone about cooking my lunch for me,” a heat crawls up your neck and explodes across your cheeks as James grins, his eyes staring lovingly at you, “and I was just as excited to eat what you so graciously cooked instead of the canteen food here,” James giggles to himself, dopey and carefree, “you cooked it just for me~ I’m so lucky~” 

You returned his wide grin and felt yourself losing your will to hide his surprise. He didn’t know it but you were only late because you went and bought his favourite treacle tart from his favourite bakery across town.  

“Actually~” you begin to reach down so that you can present the bakery take out box when you suddenly see James pull back, his spine fully erect as his eyes and ears become fully alert. The words were on your tongue, ready to question his odd behaviour when he suddenly shoots his arm up to the side; just as you were beginning to register a faint whistle in your ear, it was followed by a resounding WHHHIIIIP!

In James’s stretched out hand was a hockey puck. And it was on a one way course of high velocity towards you. Seeing this, anger flares up like the fuse of an explosive ready to violently detonate in James’s eyes.

“SHE’S! MY! FUCKING! GIRLFRIEND! WATCH IT! YOU FAT FUCK!” James’s booming voice cuts through the air and silences all activity on the rink, not only that but he was easily able to narrow down the perpetrator of the hazardous stray puck, “...WELL?!! SAY SOMETHING YOU DICK!” you look past James’s figure and lock eyes with guilty brown pools, likely the offender of your potential accident.

“S-sorry,” you hear his teammate stutter, which you accept with a small nod and place a gentle hand on James’s arm, attempting to calm him down and bring his attention back to you. As he slowly turns to you again, James slams the puck to the ground and kicks it away with his ice skate. 

“Are you okay, angel?” James asks, his voice soft and kind, a complete contrast to the booming, angry shout he just projected. 

“I’m perfectly fine,” your warm voice visibly soothes the hockey team captain and he rests his forehead against yours with a sigh of relief, “...accidents happen James, please don’t lash out on the poor g-”

“Accident or not, hurting you— almost hurting you is deserving of a beat down from hell,”

Looking into his hostile but worried hazel eyes, you silently express your objection alongside some appreciation too. You’re thankful for his worry, his aggression over your safety even makes your heart flutter but he’s better than any violence. It takes a moment but James finally sighs and nods, a silent promise to watch himself and stay civil. 

Smiling softly, you lean up to kiss his lips, “thank you for saving me,” his lips smile against yours. 

“You’re always safe with me, princess,”

NAVI.

A/N : im a bit rusty on writing since i haven’t been able to write for a while from stressful home stuff but here’s me trying to get back into it with another ice hockey james au (inspired by another tiktok). hopefully, this will get me in the headspace to write good requests from my milestone event.

TAGLIST : @melinajenkins @aastonishment @until-i-found-you @corp0real @celestcies @lovelydoveval @inlovewithremusjohnlupin @calums-betch @futurecorps3 @hihihi1112 @simpingforthe80s @yrluvjane @neeezza101 @chaosofmanyfandoms @storyofaromance @loving-and-dreaming @somewereinthegalaxi @chullu-bhar-paani @ghostgardn @rosalyn-s @seungtelevision

[swordy-da-goat]

(last ask for a while bc I feel like I'm nagging you sorryy)

I thought road wiz was like an scp, and now we have hazard monster.

Anyway I wonder how either of them would react to being treated like scps? Hazard would be a keter for sure.

Also if you made a road wiz plush I'd 100% buy it I love him sm

got carried away my bad

The Road Wiz

Item# : SCP-████

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Contained within a Standard Secure Humanoid Containment Cell in ██████, Sector-██ at Site-██. SCP-████ will often teleport out of their containment cell for an unprecedented amount of time before teleporting back. They are allowed to freely walk around the foundation as their skills and “magic” are very useful in securing anomalies, reducing injuries and casualties, and dealing with containment breaches.

Description: A humanoid entity (hard to distinguish if SCP-████ is a human or some other entity due to their hat and scarf obscuring facial view. Request to remove hat was met with opposition) wearing a hat resembling an orange traffic cone with one big and small white, reflective stripes, an orange safety vest with a long cloak attached from the backend, a yellow and black safety coverall, and long black leather and rubber gloves and boots.

SCP-████ is also in possession of a long black staff with a ring on the tip of unknown material. This staff is able to produced anomalous properties which can be better described as “magic.” Their “magic” seems to be a parody of signs, spells being correlated by the top of their staff in a hologram visual. One example being the staff projecting a deer sign when generating a glowing holographic version with mass of any of the Cervidae family.

Addendum 1: Discovery

SCP-████ was first captured near American state highway ██. The foundation was alerted when nearby police claimed that quote, “a portal just f█cking opened in the middle of the lobby where then a weirdly dressed guy wearing a cone on their head kicked a guy through saying to arrest him for drunk driving.” All personnel in the police station were given Class A amnestics. Foundation personnel were then deployed to the last place SCP-████ was spotted. Foundation were able to find SCP-████ feeding some stray dogs under American state highway ██. SCP-████ willingly agreed to come with the foundation for questioning.

Addendum 2: Interview

The following interview was conducted by Dr. Richards

Dr. Richards: Good afternoon SCP-████, I hope you’re feeling comfortable right now.

SCP-████: No, no, I’m fine thank you. Though I would prefer if you addressed me by “Road Wizard” or just “Wiz.” SCP-████ sounds a bit degrading.

Dr. Richards: …Noted. Anyways the foundation would like to ask you questions regarding your… job.

SCP-████: My job! Well you see Dr., as my name suggests, I am a wizard. My job is simply to keep everyone safe and responsible. The world is a very dangerous place, you SCP foundation folks would know that better than anyone about that fact!

Dr. Richards: You know of the SCP foundation?

SCP-████: Of course I do! Very big fan of your work! Trying to keep everyone safe from all these dangerous anomalies. Kudos to you guys, kudos!

Dr. Richards: Uh, thank you? Anyways, can you detail how you usually preform your job, or keep people “safe?”

SCP-████: Uh… I guess lecturing people on the rules and importance of road rules, filling up potholes, sticking reflective poles near edges, stuff like that. Pretty mundane huh?

Dr. Richards: What about your staff? What do you use that for?

SCP-████: Oh my staff! Well, I use it to channel my magic for the more dangerous part of my job. Magic can be real dandy in a rock slide.

Dr. Richards: I see.

Room is silent as Dr. Richard pauses to write notes.

Dr. Richards: *coughs* Um, SCP- sorry, Road Wizard. If you don’t mind me asking, I know you dub yourself as the “Road Wizard,” but is that the only safety concern you have? Or are there others like you that specialize in other hazards?

SCP-████: Funny you should ask that Dr., my real name’s actually the Safety Wizard. I just go with road because America has a crap ton of cars you know? And no, there's no one else like me so far that I know of.

Dr. Richards: So do you specialize in anything else then?

SCP-████: Sure I do! Let me just-

SCP-████ then manifests their staff from their hand which starts to emit a blue glow. A train sign then projects at the tip.

SCP-████’s outfit then suddenly shifts into a mock version of a steam engine engineer of their outfit, complete with a cap, denim overalls, vest-cloak and a yellow and black striped bandana.

SCP-████: Trains! Guess you could say I’ve become the “Rail Wizard!”

Silence.

SCP-████: Haha, sorry. There are other specialities too, but it’d probably take a while to show you all of them.

Dr. Richards: So are you able to switch forms like that?

SCP-████: That’s right miss! It’s very important to be dressed proper for any job!

SCP-████’s staff projects a car sign and outfit returns to previous description.

SCP-████: So any other questions for me Dr.? I’d love to stay and chat, but I need to be going soon.

Dr. Richards: SCP- I mean Road Wizard, you are aware that we can’t just let you go out.

SCP-████: I understand your concerns Dr., seeing what kind of place you guys run. But believe me, I’m not a dangerous guy! And it’s not like you folks can keep me in here anyways.

Dr. Richards: What do you mean by that?

SCP-████: Oh nothing. Anyways, it was nice chatting with you Dr. Richards, but I really must be on my way. See you later!

Dr. Richards: Hey, wait!

*SCP-████’s staff projects a Two Way Traffic sign and a glowing, yellow portal appeared to the right of SCP-████. SCP-████ then enters through the portal which disappears.

[END LOG]

——————————————————————————————————

The Hazard Monster

Item# : SCP-█████

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-█████ should be contained within a 5 m x 5 m x 5 m chamber of reinforced concrete. Door and windows should be tightly sealed to prevent SCP-█████ from escaping through any cracks.

Description: SCP-█████ is an amorphous, black blob which can change its mass, texture, shape, and composition through anomalous means. SCP-█████’s face appears to be an NFPA 704 Diamond symbol. Each section of diamond can open up to reveal a set of teeth or eyes (amount varies). SCP-█████ normally uses its anomalous abilities to inflict injuries on people. The relationship between SCP-████, or as they dubbed themself, the Road Wizard, is very negative.

Addendum 1: Discovery

Foundation was first alerted of SCP-█████ when reports of multiple incidents were reported by the people in the town of █████████. Residents were reported being injured by a black shapeshifting blob. Foundation, with the help of the Road Wizard, were able to track down SCP-██████ and capture it. All town residents were given Class A amnestics.

[hummingbee-lievable]

Song of the Day #24:

'Mile Magnificent' by Molly OfGeography (released 2019).

An apartment when it's empty echoes lovely, bright and clean

Sing odes to green-blue water that we stole so it comes free

All things end, it's part of living; forest fires feed the trees

Lift your glasses full of sunshine, sing a toast to gasoline

Track #4 on 'Myths'.

Fun fact: Molly refers to this song as 'The Song My Producer Said I Was Not Allowed To Name “CHICAGO IS BETTER THAN NEW YORK���'.* Honestly, her descriptions for so of the songs on this album are hilarious:

'1) The Song That Made My Producer Go, “Wait, What Was That Bit About Worms?”

2) The Song My Producer Said I Had To Append A Parenthetical To So That People Would Be Able To Find It Because The Lyrics Never Mention The Title Once But I Was Raised On Fanfiction So Joke’s On You, Pal! I Love A Long Title With A Parenthetical In It!!!

3) The Song That Is Sad'

Pretty dang accurate, honestly. Also, I think she has a Tumblr!!! *Gasp.* What if I...tag her???

@ofgeography Hiiii and thank you, your music is amazing.

I did it bees and knees (yes, this is my hip modern way of including every kind of person, fight me or provide more hilarious options; I'm content with either option).

I have had a fun time perusing this flavourful dose of humanity's wild website and I think my fun fact today should be her story where she becomes a donut god:

You're welcome, singular entity that reads this blog (that entity being my sister and/or the rogue bots, doesn't matter, we're all friends here).

Personal blurb: Alright, full disclosure time: I discovered this artist because of the 'Good Omens' fandom. Someone said we were missing out on feelings and shared this song, and when I tell you I felt those feelings, I certainly don't mean that I danced to this on repeat for several months (and her 'Hanahaki (Bloom)'), often at 3 in the morning in the bathroom. Of course not.

Pro tip: dancing with your toothbrush in your mouth is a choking hazard, but in the spirit of Alanis Morissette, I recommend doing it anyway:

One of my favourite books in the world is 'The Overstory' by Richard Powers. In it, one of the themes that arises often is the concept of pyrophitic serotinous plants (it's okay, I won't remember it either). They are plants that need fire to open. (There are actually different types of pyrophitic plants, from passive to fire-activated but I probably shouldn't start talking about that because you'll need to pull out the duct tape.)

(Technically, 'serotinous' plants are a category in which plants release seeds over a longer period of time, and it doesn't matter how they are released, but the seeds that open by fire fit into this category.) The eucalyptus tree, the lodgehole pine, and other trees encase their seeds in resin that can only be melted by fire (thereby releasing the seeds).

The thing that I love about this concept is this: we need to burn to grow. I recently read this book called 'Life in Oil' about the Cofàn tribe in Ecuador who were drastically impacted by oil companies. And the thing was: Yes. They were impacted horribly (physically, psychologically, environmentally, the works). They also survived. They figured out, through tumult and trial and falling apart, how to keep going.

This song screams to me of that same instinct. I mean, look at us. This is what we do, isn't it? We fight, we fall, we continue. We're just like every other aspect of nature in that we are born, and in our fight to continue, we impact everything around us. We're just a part of the cycle and eventually we will decay back to where we belong and serve as soil for our children. And all we'll be? A story. And after a while, not even that. Just a whisper of what was.

In a way? I find that freeing. We might as well live the life we want to live; how little it will matter. (This isn't absolution, please don't go murdering people.) I just mean that I don't have to put so much weight into every little thing. Not everything has to be joyful or depressing (and if we really think about it, everything is always a balance of both). It can just be what it is.

We are as we are. And we don't have to love ourselves for it, but we don't have to hate ourselves either.

I love the lyrics to this song. For a long time, I misheard 'We're animals of love/ the city never makes us beg' as 'the city never makes us pay' and I don't know why? But I kind of like that image.

We are animals of love. And that's okay.

We are the cogs in a continuous cycle and we always will be.

I think often of this monologue (content warning for the video, it's gory, but you don't need to watch it, you can just listen) from 'Midnight Mass' so often, in regards to this:

We just are. Everything just is.

[rockrosethistle]

TSH Tabs That Didn't Make The Cut:

(Use it as a drinking game if you'd like. Take a shot every time...)

-Henry is referred to as the actual devil

-Charles brings home an animal that Does Not Belong To Him

-random greek sentence

-Judy does something Lana Del Rey coded

-lamb chops are used to signify loss of innocence

-"Francois"

-Someone gets decked

-Bunny says a sentence that just doesn't make any sense logically

-hippies are targeted

-Richard takes mystery pills

-random latin sentence

-Henry plots a murder

-a fire hazard

-Francis answers a phone because he just can't help it, guys...

-Richard describes an unexpected part of Camilla (feet, temples, etc.)

-A "straight" dude does something home of sexual

-Charles steals a vehicle

(For legal reasons, don't actually take the shots)

[tagsecretsanta]

From @tikatu

From @tikatu to @dragonoffantasyandreality

November, 2018

“Dad?”

Grant Tracy finished pouring out a cup of herbal tea from the thermos. He handed it to the dark-haired nine-year-old. “What’s up, Champ?”

Jeff sat up from his prone position on the old quilt, accepting the cup, sipping it.

It was late autumn; the sun set early, so a night of father-son bonding wouldn’t mean a late bedtime. (But caffeine just might—hence the tea.) Since Grant’s wife, Ellie, was off at her weekly bowling, the house behind them was dark. Little light pollution from the surrounding farms made this a good night to indulge his son’s budding love of astronomy.

Jeff pointed up at the night sky.

“Is that the Milky Way?”

Grant took a thoughtful sip from a steaming, refilled cup. “Yep. The Star Bridge is what I call it.”

Jeff cocked his head at his father, a puzzled frown on his face. “Star Bridge?”

“Uh huh.” A nod accompanied the sound. “There are places a lot darker than this at night where you can see it arcing overhead, like a giant bridge connecting us to the rest of the galaxy.” He glanced at his son. “What do you think?”

Jeff gulped the last of his cooling tea and laid back on the quilt, hands behind his head. “I think I like that.”

January, 2039

“Wow!” Major Alison Richards, first woman on the Moon, breathed. Eyes only for the rising Earth, she flailed an arm out for her partner, Colonel Jeff Tracy.  She made contact with his suited shoulder. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

Jeff paused what he was doing and followed her pointing finger. Taking in a deep breath, he let it out slowly, a sudden pang of homesickness stabbing through his heart. “A sight for sore eyes,” he replied, at last. 

They were part of the World Space Authority’s F. L.O. mission, scouting out a site on the lunar surface for the world’s first moon base. Their current target was near the northern polar region, where water, in the form of ice, had been discovered.

“Hey! You want to see something else beautiful?” He tilted his head upwards—not easy to do in the bulky spacesuit—and pointed. Look up!”

Alison leaned back to better see the sky above her. “Oh! It’s the Milky Way!” She straightened up, glancing toward him. “So clear from here! Though, in my opinion, Mother Earth looks prettier.”

Jeff chuckled. “I won’t argue the point.” He paused, thoughtful. “Y’know what my Pa calls the Milky Way? The Star Bridge.”

“Why does he call it that?” Allison turned back to gaze at the Earth again.

“Hm. Let’s see if I can get this right. He says it’s like a giant bridge that connects us to the rest of the galaxy.”

She tore her eyes away from the mother planet. Smiling, she replied, “Your dad has a great imagination.”

“I reckon he does at that.”

March, 2048

“Damn!”

Scott wrestled a suddenly non-compliant SUV to the narrow shoulder of the desert highway. He brought it safely to a stop with a scattering of gravel.

“Wha’ happen’d?” A drowsy Virgil levered himself into a sitting position, blinking heavily.

“Blowout,” John replied as he hit the button to activate the hazard lights.

Scott clambered out, muttering curses under his breath. He was soon joined by his brothers, staring at the ruined rear tire.

“Do we have a spare?”

Virgil stretched both arms up, folding them over his head. “Should be one. Jack and tire iron, too.”

John opened the SUV’s hatch. “I’ll check.” He started hauling luggage out to access the spare’s storage.

Scott leaned on the vehicle’s side, arms folded. “This shouldn’t take long. At least you won’t miss your campus tour. We built in plenty of time for this road trip.”

“I really appreciate you guys giving up your spring break to drive out to Denver with me.” Virgil’s hands were curled up deep in his pockets. A slight breeze brought goosebumps to his skin.

“Heh.” Scott huffed. “If you hadn’t taken that gap year, we wouldn’t have been able to get the same week of break. The stars really aligned this time.”

John’s arm stuck out from behind them, an automatic jack in hand. “Here, Scott. Make yourself useful. Virg? I can’t get a good grip on this spare. Can you pull it out?”

“Sure.”

They exchanged places. John brought with him the tire iron and a lantern. The jack, plugged into the car’s electrical system, raised one corner. Scott took the tire iron and set about loosening the lug nuts. The spare tire bounced once on the macadam as Virgil freed it. He rolled it over to his brothers.

John rubbed his upper arms. “Getting a mite chilly.”

“I hear that happens in the desert at night,” Scott said, grunting. “Especially if the night is clear.”

“And, man, is it ever clear.” The hushed, awed tone made both Scott and John glance at their brother. He was staring up at the sky, turning around slowly as he took in the wonders above him.

John followed his gaze, smiling fondly. “Gorgeous, isn’t it? No real light pollution out here to spoil the view.” A small frown creased his brow. “Hey, didn’t Gramps have a name for the Milky Way?”

Scott paused, taking his hands off the tire. “Yeah. It was star… star something…” He snapped his dirty fingers. “Star Bridge! That’s what he called it!”

John nodded. “Yeah, that’s right. Star Bridge.”

Virgil glanced from brother to brother. “Why did he call it that? And how come I’ve never heard this before?”

“Something about how it bridges the gap between worlds and stars; connects us to the rest of the galaxy.” Scott pulled the tire from the hub. “Give me a hand here, will you?”

“Oh, sure.” Virgil moved in, rolling the spare to Scott. John dragged the flat away to put it in storage.

“Couldn’t tell you why you hadn’t heard it before.” They lifted the spare to the hub together. “Dad told me on that trip to the Great Basin National Park.”

“How old was I? Because I don’t remember that at all!”

Scott picked up a lug nut and screwed it onto the bub. “Five, maybe? If Johnny here hadn’t been such an overachiever…”

“Don’t call me Johnny.” John poked his head around the corner. “I heard the term from Grandpa himself one night when I stayed over at the farm. He said he’d shown Dad the Star Bridge because he was interested in astronomy and he wanted to show me, too.” He disappeared for a moment. His brothers could hear the thump of suitcases returning to the cargo space.

He returned to say something else. “Do you know that the latest recon team for the Mars colony has video of the Star Bridge taken on Mars? It’s pretty impressive.”

“Virg? Can you check that I’ve got these lug nuts on tight enough?”

“Yeah. Let me get in there.”

The spare settled, equipment put away, and the hatch closed, Scott joined John in leaning up beside the SUV. Virgil had stepped away from them a little; he moved his phone slowly from one end of the Bridge to the other, trying to capture the view.

“So,” John asked, nudging Scott, “who’s gonna tell Gords and Alan?”

November, 2070

“G’anpa?”

Jeff stopped rubbing his brow. He looked across the room to the grillwork door separating the lounge from the rest of the house. A little girl stood on the other side, dressed in a cotton nightshirt. She was barefoot, her long dark hair tousled as it cascaded past her shoulders. One hand clutched a stuffed cat; the other rubbed an eye with a fist.

He glanced toward the portraits on the wall, then back at the little girl. With a stifled sigh, he got up and approached her.

“What are you doing up, Sami?” Opening the door, he swept her up into his arms and headed back to his desk.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, thumping him in the back with the cat, and laid her head on his shoulder. “I miss Daddy.”

Jeff swallowed. The mission to Mars wasn’t the longest space rescue they’d ever done but it had the highest stakes. The colony—established over a decade ago and still expanding—had fallen victim to a microbe which had decimated their food reserves and crops. Not only was Thunderbird Three, with Alan, John, and Brains aboard, racing to bring food to the colony, Brains was working feverishly en route to come up with a countermeasure. Gordon manned Thunderbird Five, an unusual post for him, while Scott and Virgil remained on Earth to attend to any rescues planetside.

“I miss him, too, little butterfly,” he murmured.  “And your uncles as well.” He carried her over to the windows overlooking the pool. Looking out at the darkness, he had an idea.

“Come with me, sweetheart. I want to teach you about the Star Bridge.”

[spirallingout]

There are no good schools for superhuman kids in Marvel, none of them are safe.

Avengers Academy:

The original AA kids were tortured, lied to by their mentors & forced to be child soldiers. Half of them didn't even want to be there, Hank Pym promised to fix their broken powers and completely failed to help them in any way. And then they were kidnapped by Arcade for his Hunger Game. The new academy hasn't been around long enough to be properly judged but a Nazi bee man broke through security on day 1 so not looking good.

Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters:

Fifty-fifty chance you'll end up in a terrorist cell. Regardless, you'll end up a child soldier with zero privacy because most of the psychics (especially Charles) don't have any problem with reading your thoughts at any given moment. Half the teachers have been X-Force members and being a teenager won't stop you from becoming one either. Don't want to be a superhero? Just want to go to school? Fuck you. The worst super school by the widest of margins and I haven't even listed half the hazards.

Future Foundation:

Probably the safest one on this list but I'm subtracting points for making its students be in proximity to Reed Richards. I don't trust him not to run experiments on his own kids let alone anyone else's.

Pan Asian School for the Unusually Gifted:

Jimmy Woo is definitely using this place to recruit secret agents and Shou-Lou is racist to fox people.

Latverian Academy of Sciences:

It's weird that a school run by Doctor Doom is one of the safest on this list.

Braddock Academy:

Arcade also stole a bunch of their kids so they're also on the hook for child negligence. The Braddock's are also connected to the X-Men so there's a chance of getting dragged in to X-Men bullshit.

Strange Academy:

The staff let the students use extra dimensional portals to play tag and act surprised when the demons turn up? Also, maybe letting Magik send students to Limbo as a punishment will end badly. Just a thought.

[agoodflyting]

Even more thoughts about Enver Gortash and Richard III

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, this bitch is still obsessed with the parallels between Enver Gortash and Shakespeare's OG tyrant, Richard III.

Part I Here

tl;dr It makes perfect sense that they have a lot in common because Richard III is the archetype for the tyrant king in Western literature. Some things they have in common include a sense of otherness, ambition, early childhood trauma relating to power and powerlessness, and a smooth-talking charm that helps them get away with their bullshit.

And now to add:

"My other self, my council’s consistory, My oracle, my prophet, my dear cousin!" Both Richard and Gortash have an evil bestie who helps them facilitate their schemes, and who they heap praise on and seem to regard as closer to an equal than a minion. Gortash has the Dark Urge and Richard has Buckingham. If you play as the Dark Urge, the parallel is even stronger because in both cases their former evil bestie is one of the key figures who turns against them and contributes to their death.

(I cannot stress enough that the 'my other self' scene sends me into fits of durgetash madness.)

"I am not made of stone." Both Richard and Gortash's plots revolve around them not just seizing power, but specifically creating a situation in which the people in charge will beg them to take over. In Gortash's case he uses the Bhaalists and the Absolute plot to create fear in Baldur's Gate, and then sells himself as the only person who can protect the city, culminating in him being named Archduke by a terrified but willing populace. In Richard's case, he creates a succession crisis (in a country that just survived a civil war caused by an earlier succession crisis) by assassinating key members of his own family and spreading rumors that others are illegitimate pawns of a plot to seize the throne by a lesser noble family. The end result is that Parliament begs him - the closest remaining Plantagenet heir - to take the throne in order to prevent another civil war. I find it especially interesting that in both cases, their plots seem to hinge on pretending they don't want power and are only graciously accepting it for the Good Of The People when in fact they were the threat all along. That's gotta be serving some kind of emotional need.

"Your eyes drop millstones when fools’ eyes fall tears. I like you lads!"

Just because you're evil doesn't mean you have to be a jerk. Both Richard and Gortash have a habit of paying compliments to their minions and allies - compliments which seem to be genuine.

"Thou cam’st on Earth to make the Earth my hell. A grievous burden was thy birth to me " (Duchess of York, Richard's mother) Mommy issues. So many mommy issues. Both Richard and Gortash have especially rough relationships with their mothers. In both cases, their mothers seem to regard them as horrible burdens that they regret having given birth to - although it's up to debate how much of that stems from the fact that their sons have grown up into horrible little murder gremlins.

"Conscience is but a word that cowards use, devised at first to keep the strong in awe." Richard and Gortash are both willing to commit the most vile crimes - up to and including child murder - if it gets them an inch closer to what they want, and neither of them seem to feel bad about it. Richard has his young nephews murdered because they're in his way (and also one of them sassed him), and Gortash... ngl, I started typing here but it's shorter to list the atrocities Gortash didn't commit.

"Alas, I rather hate myself. " This is getting into meta character interpretation, but both Richard and Gortash have the kind of outward egotism that almost always masks a bone-deep insecurity and boundless wells of self-hatred. No one who really loves themselves has that much need to prove their worth to the world.

"I have set my life upon a cast, and I will stand the hazard of the die." And to finish it off - both Richard and Gortash die facing their enemies, both of them willing to get their hands dirty to stay in power right to the bitter end. Instead of running, Richard takes the field himself to fight Richmond (aka Henry Tudor) and is killed in battle. Depending on how you play the game, Gortash is either killed in combat by the player character or killed by the Elder Brain when he goes to confront it alongside the player. In either case, he shows that he's willing to take the field himself in order to keep the power he's gained. They may be tyrants, but they're never cowards.

in conclusion... Enver Gortash is following in all the best traditions of his tyrant forbears.