#rewatching some old episodes and I love her allen so much

[birdie-is-also-a-magical-alien]

Kobayashi Sanae makes such a cute Allen 😭

[jadelotusflower]

Rewatch: Stargate (1994, dir. Roland Emmerich)

What to do when there's so many shows and movies on the to watch list? Revisit shows and movies I've seen many times before of course! Maybe I'm just in need of some comfort viewing right now.

I can't remember when I first saw Stargate. It certainly wasn't at the cinema, but probably rented from the video store (yes, I am an Old) and was certainly keyed to my preteen interests: mythology and Soft(TM) male protagonists.

Over the years and though several rewatches, online fandom, and my love of behind the scenes featurettes, director's commentaries, and retrospectives, I've also gleaned quite a bit of background tidbits and trivia, and I have many thoughts! Most of them through the lens of nostalgia, but that can't be helped.

Are you ready to go back to Titanic Stargate?

The much maligned Pharaoh's head, but it makes for a symbolic opening, trying to find the meaning to the different patterns before the whole picture becomes clear.

David Arnold's theme remains a banger. One of the GOATs.

I'm watching the Extended Edition/Director's Cut, which opens in the North African Desert 8000 BCE to depict Jaye Davidson being abducted, which is only seen in flashback in the theatrical cut. It's atmospheric, but it does tip the hand of the narrative a bit. The stronger opening is probably:

Giza, 1928, where the Stargate is unburied. Even this scene is extended, where the fossilized head of an Anubis is also found. It reveals the sinister undertone far too soon, imo, and it was the right choice to cut it.

Present Day! Love of my life Daniel Jackson ruins his career by arguing that the Egyptian pharaohs of the IVth Dynasty did not build the great pyramids. He does not claim (as the show later does) that aliens built the pyramids. Important distinction!

"Is there a lunch or something, that everybody...?" lol, James Spader is great. This was the first role I ever saw him in, and didn't realise this was actually playing against type a bit, but I have been a fan of his ever since.

Shoutout to Viceca Lindfors, who plays Catherine with steely grace.

Jack O'Neil (one L) aka Kurt Russell (two L's), in a great character introduction that is ruined by some voiceover exposition. We get everything we need to know from his scene without it, except that Tyler shot himself with Jack's gun, but honestly it would have been more impactful if that detail was held back from the audience and revealed in the later scene with Daniel.

The great Richard Kind everybody! He will later appear in an extremely tone deaf episode of Stargate: Atlantis, but here he's Dr Gary Michaels, aka the guy Daniel gets to show up by swanning in and correcting his translation.

Daniel: That's a curious word to use, isn't it? Michaels: ...Yeah

Rae Allen plays Barbara Shore - you may remember her as reporter Gloria Thorpe in Damn Yankees. It's a shame neither of these characters ever turned up in the show, I like them both.

"You must have used Budge, I don't know why they keep reprinting his books." LOL, Daniel with his petty academic grudges. Although as I understand this is a valid criticism, as Budge's translation methods were very much outdated by the 90's. But Budge conceivably could have been a contemporary of Catherine's father, which is interesting to think about.

Jack arrives with his haircut to correct Daniel's assumption that the hieroglyphs are 5000 years old - they're actually 10,000 years old, which Daniel ironically finds ludicrous. To pick some nits, according to the opening Ra arrived on Earth in 8000 BCE which is presumably where the 10,000 number came from, but doesn't take into account Ra establishing a culture and ruling on Earth for however long before the rebellion, which is when the coverstones would have been carved.

Leon Rippy plays the General West and his utter disdain for Daniel despite him solving "in fourteen days what they couldn't solve in two years" kind of gives me life. His surly "any time" and passing over the reference materials without looking at them is so great. Fantastic performance in a tiny role.

Several people are smoking in this scene, including Jack and Barbara. It's easily forgotten just how common casual smoking was back in the day - 1994 seems a little late for it to be so prevalent, but it gives the room that atmospheric haze.

Emmerich was also a big smoker, so ...

Unrealistic that Daniel would be presenting his theory without running it past Catherine and the team first, but hey it's a movie, dramatic effect and all that.

Important to note that Daniel's contribution isn't only realising that the symbols were star constellations, but the purpose of the symbols, being a map to determine a course and destination. He also deduced that seven symbols were needed, realised that the seventh symbol was below the cartouche not inside it, and then identified the seventh symbol on the gate itself.

This is a really nice illustration to Daniel's core strength - he's not just a repository of knowledge, he's a puzzle solver.

Some small character beats - Michaels questions Daniel twice, while Shore reaches out to pat Katherine's hand in victory when West orders Daniel be shown the Stargate. Again, they should have been brought back for the show!

There's a star map in the control room, implying that they had at least an idea that the Stargate was a transportation device, making the team look even more foolish for not figuring out (in two years!) that a) the symbols were star constellations, and b) that seven symbols (address + point of origin) were needed.

Daniel assures West that he can decipher the gate on the other side in a stunning display of hubris - a character flaw that will stay with him in some form through all ten seasons of the show.

Although West doesn't actually ask Daniel how he will make the Stargate work for the return trip, so that's kind of on him.

Jack correctly deduces that Daniel's full of shit, then goes to look at the Anubis head found in the Giza sequence. Again unnecessary inclusion imo, Jack's motivation works better as ambiguous at this point.

Everyone has their own little character moment before going through the gate - Jack grits his teeth and raises his gun, Brown looks back to the others, Porro kisses a St Christopher medallion.

Daniel toying with the event horizon was a Spader addition (much to the chagrin of the VFX supervisor!)

Foreshadowing for the Abydos point of origin symbol.

"That's a nice tent! Oh, we each get a tent, that's nice."

A snarky Ferretti (the great French Stewart) throws Daniel's suitcase at him, scattering his books on the sand. Daniel is completely nonplussed, starts to gather them up and then sits down to munch on a 5th Avenue bar. I love original recipe Daniel. Don't get me wrong, I love show Daniel too, but the OG, man, just 100% unbothered when antagonised.

Although to be fair, Ferretti's frustration is justified (if not his reaction) so that probably is a factor in Daniel's (lack of) response.

Daniel feeds a mastadge chocolate and gets dragged across the dunes and slobbered on for his trouble. But he doesn't hold a grudge, because he goes from "get away from me" to patting the creature on the snout in about three seconds.

Sha'uri, my beloved!

Important to note that while the other water-bearers keep their eyes downcast, Sha'uri is the only one bold enough to look up and make eye contact with Daniel, who smiles at her.

Daniel, in return, is the only one to say thank you.

She's also very wary of Daniel at this stage, here and on the walk back to Nagada - she laughs at Skaara and Nabeh taking his handkerchief, but tenses up when he looks her way. Does she know at this stage that he has been earmarked as her husband?

It makes me curious, because I don't think that it's ever explicit in the film that Sha'uri is Kasuf's daughter and Skaara's sister (although it's implied), but it makes sense that she is the daughter of the chief and would therefore make a high status offering (ugh I feel gross typing that) for an emissary of Ra.

We know that Ra surrounds himself with child slaves (the creepy implications of which I don't want to think about), and it's unclear how old Sha'uri is meant to be (Mili Avital was 22), but I wonder if the reason why she was not married already is that this was always the role intended for her - to serve Ra in some capacity, perhaps (in tv show timeline) as a host for one of his underlings.

If so, it makes her fate in the show even more tragic.

Brown takes a picture on their approach to Nagada which is a nice little character beat - I wonder where that camera ended up? Derek Webster also had bit parts in Devlin/Emmerich joints Independence Day and Godzilla, fwiw.

"Ferretti, say again." Great line reading from Russell - he gets flack for being humourless/not being Richard Dean Anderson, but I think he has great presence in the role and character at this point - RDA!O'Neill is the product of Russell!O'Neil's experience in this film.

A sandstorm approaches and in the extended sequence there's a miscommunication that Skaara (Alexis Cruz) clears up. I like this addition, as it gives more scope to the connection between Jack and Skaara - he sees that Jack is the one in charge, but also that he's willing to listen, and Jack sees that Skaara is brave enough to face a threat, but also clever enough to diffuse the situation.

"Well that would have been an excellent reason to shoot everyone." lol, and people say snarky!Daniel was a show-only thing.

Trying to learn the word that means "sandstorm" from Kasuf and the incredulous/frustrated little laugh after is a nice touch too.

Erick Avari steals every scene he is - he was also in Devlin/Emmerich's Independence Day ("what's with the golf balls?!?" was an ad-lib), and of course he's great in The Mummy (the delivery of "Do you really want to know, or would you prefer to just shoot us?" is perfection.)

He was only 42 during this movie! Hasn't aged a day since.

A great deal of Kasuf came from Avari as well - the role was only a few lines in the script and was mostly developed during rehearsals - the same was true for Alexis Cruz as Skaara.

While "tastes like chicken" was in the script, the clucking like a chicken came from Spader.

Pivotal scene, because it really shows Sha'uri's courage - her fear is palpable, first at her duty to offer herself to Daniel then at what his rejection may mean for her and her people. She is confused by his behaviour, delighted when they are able to exchange names, but guarded again when he draws in the sand. At this point she doesn't know if he is an emissary of Ra testing her resolve, but she takes the chance and fixes his drawing to make the symbol from Earth, then takes him to the hidden catacombs.

Sha'uri's leap of faith here is underrated I feel - she's been watching Daniel so closely and makes a very correct judgement about his character - there is something in him that she recognises, and decides that she can trust. At this stage she probably knows that she is safe with him, but she wants to go beyond that and actually connect with him.

Also she's wearing red here, the same colour as Kasuf and some of the other elders wear, which does imply it's a colour of status.

LOL, this scene would never happen today.

It was almost cut from the movie! The studio's focus was on the action and wanted to eliminate a great deal of the character stuff, resulting in the film testing very poorly. Devlin/Emmerich redid the cut to put everything back in and (surprise surprise!) the next audience screening was much more favourable.

Because Jack's character arc doesn't work without this scene! We need to see Jack actually bond with Skaara, to gift him the lighter, be amused when Skaara mimics him and takes a drag of the cigarette, then for things to turn when Skaara innocently reaches for Jack's gun and he blows up.

"I guess the word dweeb doesn't mean anything to you guys, does it?"

Too good! Too pure for this world!

The hidden catacombs fascinate me - the entrance is blocked with rocks so presumably Sha'uri hadn't been there for some time. Is it something she came across as a child? Was it secret information handed down through the generations, perhaps from her mother?

The symbol for Earth is only visible from inside so she must have explored the catacombs at some point, perhaps wondering what the paintings meant, and she must have been aware that at one point writing wasn't outlawed. I do like the idea that both Sha'uri and Daniel have this great curiosity and yearning to understand - they also share a great capacity for trust and willingness to take leaps of faith that makes them very well matched.

The backstory with Ra changed very late in the process - originally the Egyptian boy was merely appointed as a proxy for the alien creature to rule Earth, not possessed by the alien. This is unfathomable to me and really don't think it could have worked - where's the menace if Ra isn't the actual alien being but just some guy who works for him?

Presumably, it means Spader came back to do reshoots for the tale of Ra's origins, and if you notice he only mentions possession in a closeups where the lighting is slightly different. The frescos in the wide shots also don't match the closeups, which Emmerich himself did.

Brown is the one who gives Daniel a gun. RIP Brown.

Djimon Hounsou as Horus!

The Anubis/Horus/Ra disappearing headgear was one of the few noticeably CGI effects - most of the film was done practically and it shows (in a good way). I will take puppets and props and extras every day over CGI, there's just something more visceral about films made this way.

Daniel dies for the first - but certainly not the last - time.

The extended edition has Daniel walking through Ra's ship after being revived - there's a cat on Ra's throne, and we see more of Ra getting bathed and dressed by his child slaves just to notch up the creepiness.

Whatever happened to Jaye Davidson?

Apparently he had difficulty with the role, no doubt because as written it made no sense, which is why they had to change it in editing, adding the flanges and the glowing eyes.

Davidson was concerned he'd ruined the movie, and apparently was relieved rather than upset to see the final film. I actually think it's a great performance, and Ra has a menace that feels genuinely dangerous.

The Abydonian langauge was based on Ancient Egyptian as developed by Egyptologist Dr Stuart Smith, and apparently great care was taken to make it as authentic as possible. I...don't think the same can be said for the show.

Dr Smith also consulted on The Mummy, fwiw.

O'Neil, Kawalsky, Ferretti, and Guy Who Will Soon Die (Freeman).

Is is Kawalsky or Kawalski? The credits say Kawalsky, but his uniform at the beginning of the film says Kawalski. I personally prefer the latter.

The extended edition has an extra scene following the escape - Jack and Daniel jump on a mastadge which takes off and separates them from the group as Sha'uri and Skaara look on thinking "where are those idiots going?"

They get stuck in a sandstorm where Daniel collapses, and they're only found because the mastadge is so upset about his new friend he wails - this explains why Daniel is coughing and spluttering when they get to the cave.

Many a slash fic has started this way, I'm sure.

I really like Kawalski in this scene - "these kids don't have anywhere else to go" really hits me for some reason. He's bonded with them too.

"I don't want to die, your men don't want to die, and these people here don't want to die. It's a shame you're in such a hurry to."

The pivotal Jack and Daniel scene - this where the reveal about how Jack's son died should have been, so we find out when Daniel does. Then we'd think back on all the previous interactions - Jack knocking the gun from Skaara's hand, being unable to shoot the kids Ra uses as human shields - and be able to read new meaning into them.

A tender moment that I kind of wish they'd let play out a little more, although Avital captures Sha'uri's vulnerability so well. This was her first scene!

While I do love the Daniel/Sha'uri romance, I think she gets unfairly dismissed as just the love interest when she's so much more. Sha'uri is the one who starts the Abydonian rebellion - she's the one who decides that "we can no longer live as slaves" and rallies the boys to save Jack and his men - she's the one who passes on the knowledge of Ra's true identity.

At that point it's unclear if she thought Daniel is dead or just captured - her reaction following the massacre in Nagada perhaps implies the former. When Skaara tells her that Ra has called an execution she's been looking at the cave paintings, so clearly rebellion is already on her mind, and she's willing to go against everything she's been taught to try and save - maybe Daniel - but maybe only his friends, to help them overthrow Ra.

Interesting costume change for Kasuf here - he no longer has his outer robes or headdress, nor is he riding a mastadge - has he been stripped of his leadership role? Horus is now in charge.

Also nice little character beat - while the other have their guns pointed at Horus, Daniel is looking back at Sha'uri.

I do love Skaara's defiance - telling the others not to bow when Kasuf orders them to, and later he'll be the most reluctant to surrender, throwing down his gun in disgust before kneeling.

Sha'uri carries a gun into the pyramid, but I think it would have been better to at least see her try and shoot at the horus guard before she is killed.

Ostensibly this is a plot necessity to get Daniel up into the ship to give him a final faceoff with Ra and setup using the rings to deliver the bomb, but I think it's also needed for the Daniel/Sha'uri relationship - if he hadn't almost lost her and been willing to risk his life to save her, I don't think his choice to remain on Abydos with her at the end would have rung as true.

"I am no longer amused." idc, Davidson is great.

The first - but certainly not the last - time Daniel will get his brain friend by the hand device.

Ra's ultimate downfall is his hubris - if he'd never revived Daniel to make an example of him it's likely he never would have been overthrown, or at least not in the way he was. Yes he may still have had the public execution, and Sha'uri and Skaara may have still tried to rescue Jack and the others, but without Daniel to shoot his staff to set off the disturbance it may not have been successful. Jack wouldn't have been able to properly communicate with the Abydonians to form a plan, Daniel wouldn't be there to reveal Horus as a mortal not a god to Kasuf, etc.

It's interesting to me because as I said above hubris is also Daniel's main flaw, although it manifests differently, but that's what really draws me to these kind of characters - people who are a force for good but in such a way that their idealism and drive could easily tip over into ruthlessness/villainy in the right circumstances, and we definitely see this explored a few times in the show.

Also interesting is even though Kurt Russell gets top billing, it's really Daniel who is our protagonist - he's the one who is the true adversary to Ra, they share the relationship and confrontational scenes - Jack's antagonist is really Anubis.

Kasuf arrives with the uprising, and ultimately I do love that all three of our Abydonian family - Sha'uri, Skaara, and Kasuf - play a vital role in overthrowing Ra, even if Jack and Daniel get the credit for actually killing him.

We're meant to be la la la don't think about it re: the child slaves who were presumably still on Ra's ship when it blew up.

And I'm a sap! Skaara and the boys saluting Jack, and getting his salute in return always gets me.

Kawalsky and Ferretti too!

It's very important that Sha'uri is the one who instigates the kiss with Daniel, to balance the earlier scene where he kissed her.

Because it's a relationship that could very easily veer into problematic or feel unearned, but by this point having saved each other's lives, having communicated and bonded and come to understand one another, they do seem to be genuinely falling in love rather than there being any sense of obligation.

I think there might have been an alternate ending - on the bts there's footage of Daniel and Sha'uri walking with the Abydonians. Daniel looks back, presumably at the pyramid, as if reckoning with his decision to stay and a last look back at his life on Earth. Then he puts his arm around Sha'uri and they blend into the crowd as Daniel becomes part of the Abydonian people.

And then they both lived happily ever after and no one ever bothered them again! I choose to see the movie and the show as very similar but different universes/timelines, so hold true to my headcanon that this version of Daniel/Sha'uri got that long and happy life together on Abydos.

But as it is, we get our goodbyes - Skaara gets a handshake of respect from Jack, and Daniel gets some nice closure on his relationships with the three surviving members of the team:

Ferretti - goes from "Isn't there something you should be doing right now? Like getting us out of here?" (throws suitcase) to "I always knew you'd get us back"

Kawalski from - "You're a lying son of a bitch!" to "Thanks Daniel"

And Jack, from "He's full of shit" to "I'll be seeing you around...Doctor Jackson."

Of course this was setting up the sequel in the planned trilogy, but it works well moving on - as I will be - to the show.

[visarcana]

In (Reluctant but Needed) Defense of Allen

This is something I wrote in the Slack channel discussion but I wanted to save it here. And I’m sure I’ll expand on it even more as I go. Well, I am trying to make Millerna a bit more relatable and sympathetic character in the fic; why stop there? Though I admit, this might be even one level up. Cause you either love or hate Allen, right? No gray area there. Nevertheless, let’s try (also, belated happy birthday to him!)

So what is the most superficial, caricatured image there is to get of Allen? I think there are two things that people often reduce his character to:

a manwhore (and turbo one at that) that would do anything that breathes and seduces women for the fun of it

a toxic, manipulative “30 year old” that preys on all these innocent teenagers, moreover, teenagers he sees his sister in (yuck, how creepy is that?!)

It’s usually one of these two, or a combination of them. And ngl, my image of him was not much better early on, after the first watch and reading some fics where he often became a straight-out villain.

It took me many years, several rewatches, and some new content to improve my opinion of him. First of all, let’s get some facts in here.

Allen is 21, he’s the same age as both Dryden and Eries

His sister was spirited away 10 years ago and around the same time his mother died, making him roughly 11 at the time

He then turned to life of crime, becoming a highway bandit, until he met Balgus

It was Balgus who changed his perspective of life, made him care about honor and all that, and made him into a master swordsman

His romance with Marlene happened as he was about 16 while Marlene was two years his senior and it was Marlene who was after Allen from the minute she first saw him, manipulating her father to get him a post of the Palace Guard near her (from the novels, feel free to disregard if you want though it’s all complement to the series)

Allen & Women

Obviously, we have to start here. But, consider this: Allen’s womanizing reputation may come simply from how he treats women, not necessarily from his body count. People tend to oversimplify things, so when they see him switching his charm/flirty side on, they would automatically assume he would have tons of experience. 

Because no matter how you look at it, there's just not a whole lot of time for him to play around too much. Obviously, he is not flirtatious yet as he trains with Balgus and coming from the novels and stuff, he is STILL not a "ladykiller" while in relationship with Marlene. And then he gets banned to a remote sausage fest of a border fortress.

The series itself is a bit vague in the Marlene part (there is that troubled look of his in that shot where they are hugging in the garden, but that's easy to miss or disregard)... so the viewers may jump to the conclusion that "hey, this guy already seduced the princess as a teenager, it's in his nature!". And that's their image of him they work with. 

I think the Marlene chapter in the novels definitely changed that image even for myself. It was not Allen who actively sought that relationship, or did a whole lot to make her fall for him. Heck, he barely DID anything. A good example of how a crushing girl can build a whole castle of melodrama about a guy she barely even knows.

After Marlene, there shouldn't be a whole lot of time for him to seduce half of Palas or whatever. And then there is the banishment to Castelo, where it doesn't look like a whole lot of women would come by. Still, his men recognize the way he treats ladies so they must have witnessed it before. Didn't have to be like every other day, a handful of typical charming Allen displays would paint his picture sufficiently for them. Let's also not forget that they are a rough bunch and probably not used to chivalry and courtly manner at all, so it's all the more remarkable for them.

I think the creators struggled with Allen’s image a bit, too. It's interesting that two of the deleted scenes in the early episodes actually showcased Allen flirting with  Hitomi. Besides one extra scene at Castelo, there's another one at the Crusade just before landing in Asturia for the first time. I think that one is the most daring, I mean, it looks like he's about to nuzzle up or even kiss her. And there's no Dilandau or other objective/protective reason to be so affectionate, except to ease her (and his own) mind before landing in the "Capital of Intrigue." 

I can see how this got axed because it really fixes his image of flirtatiousness. They possibly had second thoughts about it if they toned it down as much, and yeah, you don't really see him behave so forward even later in the series. Probably also because he befriends Hitomi and takes her a little bit more seriously. 

I also think the motive behind Allen's behavior is not to seduce women like sport (even though he's often portrayed like that in fanworks)... it is to be pleasant to them, protect them, tell them what they want to hear etc. In one of the filmbook secrets, Allen is called feminisuto (I refuse to write it as feminist, becaust the meaning is different here). 

Feminisuto in Japanese is a "guy who indulges women," basically, the meaning is the same as a gentleman. I think this could be sort of an archetype of a man in Japanese society, and knowing more about that culturally would explain a lot about Allen's character. One of the reasons I see is what happened to his mother and obviously Celena, but I want to talk about Encia a bit.

I think it's clear that Allen very well understood much of their family's misfortune was rooted in his father emotionally neglecting and eventually abandoning his mother. I think this influenced how he treats women a lot. Yes, he is overprotective and coddles them, but I also believe he is very weak towards them and can't say "no" to them.

For example, it's obvious that he doesn't want to get involved with Millerna from the start, but he is also too weak to refuse her properly, whether it's because of his attraction towards her or hesitation to hurt her.  Also, that early flirting phase is something he’s the best at, because he thinks it's all about that and doesn't really know how to build an equal, trusting relationship... he thinks being nice and attentive to women solves all the problems, without having to open about himself too much. Hitomi may be an exception, which is maybe why he asks her to marry him eventually.

Of course, Allen's looks combined with those caring and gentlemanly ways of his would just attract women endlessly. That's another thing, you may have witnessed it irl; the good looking guy, no matter how shy or awkward in the beginning, would gain a lot of self-confidence as women throw themselves at him just because of his looks and he gains more experience with them. 

Also, I believe Marlene was a big heartbreak for him so maybe he did become a bit of a playboy afterwards, while he was at his lowest... I think that’s the sort of a headcanon the fandom agrees on, that it was at this point that he fooled around with women. 

I also wrote a while ago already that I don't think he was banished immediately after the Marlene affair, giving a time window for Millerna and Eries to develop their respective relationships with him. Because they both are familar with him and if he was gone from the capital immediately after Marlene... then at least Millerna wouldn’t know or remember him at all, young as she was when Marlene left for Freid. 

Perhaps he was gaining a bit of that reputation few years after Marlene, and that was what eventually pushed Aston to order him far away from his daughters? That, or it was at a later point he found out about the affair. Or even both. I think it all comes together nicely, just depends on how you want to connect it all in your head. 

About him seducing younger women... I would obviously never condone anything like it irl but you gotta take the setting into consideration. It’s not like it doesn’t happen in modern-age stories, too, but I would be more forgiving in this kind of (pseudo)historical story.

I specifically believe that on Gaea, at 15 you are already considered “of age.” We see that as both Van and Folken attempt the dragonslaying to become the king at 15, Dilandau is a commander and the Dragonslayers are soldiers at 15, Millerna gets married at 15 (and in general, looks mature enough so that nobody would guess she is only that). Gaea’s level of development is 17-18th century Earth with a much shorter life expectancy, which yes, pushes these ages down and nobody would pause at that. 

The way I see it, 15 is Gaean 18 and the difference between Allen and the girls would be 24 and 18 years old in Earth terms. Of course, it’s still not ideal and nothing to be proud of on Allen’s side, but I guess Gaean society would not frown at him (or Dryden for that matter) for craddle-robbing. Also, let’s realize that by modern standards, an “adult” Marlene seduced an underaged Allen, too, though the age difference was much smaller.

An entirely other beast is Allen’s “cage” speech and his overprotectiveness. You really start to see the loss of his sister and mother seep through when he reprimands Hitomi even about simply walking around the city. And that “keeping precious things under lock,” you sort of see where it’s coming from but then; this is truly a character flaw and I have nothing else to say here. I just pity poor Celena after the end of the series but I know she would get him to change his ways, in many ways. Also, living with her and helping her gain her independence again should improve this (the guys growing up around sisters tend to have much better understanding of women).

It seems Allen subconsciously avoids an older and more experienced partner who would see right through his crap and confront him about it. I honestly hope for this to happen to him, could also be pretty hilarious to watch. Eries is probably the only good candidate from the introduced cast to give him a piece of mind, especially since he seems to respect her and she’s all ladylike. I could still see her doing it without breaking her form too much.  An older Millerna might as well. I mean, she did give him a bit of a wake-up call in chapter 14 of my fic, too, I hope at least.

The Bravery & Honor

This is too often forgotten but if you watched paying attention to anything else than shipping, Allen is always trying to act honorably. When he takes Van and Hitomi under his wing, that’s not calculation, nor attraction towards Hitomi... it’s just the right thing to do. He lets his fortress to be destroyed for that right thing, and King Aston is quick to scold him about it (“honor alone can’t save a country.”) 

You might be distracted by his princess hair or skirted uniform but Allen is a heroic, honorable character, and can wreck pretty much anyone with his mech. And does it all with a certain effortless charm of some sort of movie hero. I sort of recognize this sort of character from other mecha titles, the initially unreachable rival/friend/aniki who is annoyingly good at what he’s doing, is sort of an idol for the protagonist and helps him improve and often dies heroically. Allen successfully averted that, maybe because this is not quite a classic mecha story. And then, there is was Folken (this still kinda felt too soon).

Anyway, Allen gets in trouble again and again because of honor (he saves the kidnapped Van against all odds on Vione, he gets arrested for crossing Zaibach - at the time still an ally of his country, he escapes to Freid to warn them about the attack, etc.) Time and time again you see him make a decision when the dishonorable option would have been the easier one, and Allen takes the honorable way, again and again. 

And he teaches Van a thing or two about it, too. I think this is an important thing, because the origin of these teachings is Balgus, so through Allen as a senpai, Van still can get some of the Balgus’ lessons he never had a chance to obtain. But then, there’s something else between the two.

The Rivalry & Pettiness

This is sort of harder to track because Van is a trademark hothead who would pick fights with Allen against all reason... but it seems Allen enjoys it himself? I mean, enjoys knocking Van into dust. 

I will repeat myself here, but one of the things I disliked about Allen fighting Van at Castelo was how he mentioned Balgus for no other apparent reason than to throw him off (”Balgus never held back like that.”) And that was not nice of him in my charts because there is no way he would mention this if he didn’t know Balgus trained Van (he may have as well said “did you even learn anything from him?”) And it makes Van feel shittier than he had to about his loss, beating himself with the memory of his late master. 

This really gives me trouble because why would the honorable Allen proceed like that? He can win this with ease anyway, so why pull the Balgus card? And if you read about bushido... even remaining in today’s sports like karate/judo/kendo, it’s just disrespectful and weak to show joy over beating someone and such, same as using some petty tricks. And yet, Allen does it, despite being an alumni of The Balgus School of Honor.

Well, one of the explanations I found is, he probably tries to kick Van into action and improving, instead of pitying himself. And he sort of succeeds, cause Van really focuses on training more from that on, as confirmed by the artbooks.

Other possible theory was, when Balgus left back for Fanelia (”sorry lad, I hear my king is ill, g2g!”) Allen felt sort of bummed that his master ditched him? There was probably some talk where they agreed that Allen should get back to Asturia and regain his house. But maaaybe Allen had wanted to stay with Balgus and learn/adventure some more?

Another, and I tend to like (and when I say like I mean use) that one is, Van is eerily reminding Allen of himself at his age, I mean, at his emo bandit age. Van surely looks and plays the part of emo bandit all too well. So, being hard on him comes naturally to Allen, he would be hard on himself after all. He wouldn’t be so mean to another adversary, but to Van, who is his rival (in more ways than one) and reminds him of the him he would like to forget, somehow brings out the worse in him.

To be comprehensive, Allen has a similar hack and slash with Dryden, but the latter seems to be more on the winning side there, skillfully turning the knife in Allen’s wounds left by his father just as well as Allen managed to do with Van early on. Then Dryden gets a whipping himself. Yeah, karma is a bitch.

There, I think I wrote enough, and that on top of the chapter 14, where we sort of touch upon Allen x pretty much everyone... and that will continue for a short bit now, among other things. Regardless of the fic, I think the implication of the end of the series is that Allen wouldn’t have much time for romance from now on, his family relations with Celena and perhaps Chid would take precedence for a while. I wonder how that would change him and make him more mature. Allen at 30 or so, now that is something I’d like to see... 

So yeah, to sum up, 

YES Allen has a weakness for women BUT NO he would not have the time nor opportunity to whore around a whole lot

YES he acts flirtatious BUT it’s also about chivalry for him

YES he pursues younger women BUT they are of-age in-universe and he is quite immature himself

YES he is all this BUT don’t overlook that he is a honorable knight and without him, his ship, and protection, VH would have been screwed from the get-go and too many times to count

AND YEAH he’s supposed to be so relentlessly handsome on top of that kindness, chivalry, and heroism, that it must have seemed like he stepped out of a dream to them... so please forgive also these girls who don’t know any better YET

P.S. The reason it’s a reluctant defense is I feel like I may not be big enough fan of Allen to be writing this but here we are. On the other hand, I doubt I wrote more even about my top favs!

[nxsmss]

Movies I watched in February

fyi, I have zero knowledge on how to professionally rate or review a movie. I am not gonna pay attention to every little detail. these rating are simply based on how much I enjoyed/liked the movie

Follow me

Unhinged

In Time

Avengers Age of Ultron

Songbird

Star Trek

Step up all in

Project Almanac

Ant Man

Space Sweepers

Christiane F.

Jurassic World

Jurassic World the fallen kingdom

1. follow me

A social media personality travels with his friends to Moskow to capture new content for his successful vlog. Always pushing the limits and catering to a growing audience, they enter a cold world of mystery, excess, and danger. 

starring: Keegan Allen, Holland Roden, Denzel Whitaker, Ronen Rubenstein, Pasha D. Lchnikoff

the end was very predictable and i pretty much already knew halfway through the movie what was gonna happen. but it still was quite thrilling and I did enjoy watching it

6.5/10

2. unhinged

After a confrontation with an unstable man at an intersection, a woman becomes becomes the target of his rage. 

starring: Russel Crowe, Caren Pistorius, Gabriel Batemen

hm idk, I didn’t really like it, my sister didn’t really like it but my mom did, I think. it just seemed so, no overdramatic but just too much in a way

3/10

3. in time

In a future where people stop aging after 25 and need to buy time to live, the rich become immortal while others cease to exist. So, Will is on the run with a hostage in a desperate bid to survive. 

starring: Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, Cillian Murphy, Olivia Wilde, Alex Pettyfer

yes, such a good movie. Ireally like the concept. can recommend

7/10

4. avengers age of ultron

When Tony Stark and Bruce Banner try to jump-start a dormant peacekeeping program called Ultron, things go horribly wrong and it’s up to Earth’s mightiest heroes to stop the villanious Ultron from enacting his terrible plan. 

starring: Robert Downy Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johanson, Jeremy Renner, Elizabeth Olsen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Paul Bettany

hell yes, one of my favourite marvel movies. Wanda and Pietro.. Hawkeye.. all the little jokes throughout the entire movie and of course the scene where everyone tries to lift thor’s hammer, what’s not to love about this movie

10/10

5. songbird

In 2024 a pandemic ravages the world and it’s cities. Centering a handful of people as they naviagete the obstacles currently hindering society: disease, marital law, quarantine, and vigilantes. 

starring: K.J. Apa, Sofia Carson, Demi Moore, Bradley Whitford, Peter Stromare, Alexandra Daddario, Craig Robinson

I really enjoyed watching this. yeah sure, the ending was obvious but I was still glued to the screen. I also felt super weird watching this, kinda surreal because we are basically living a more harmless version of this rn. I really liked seeing sofia carson in such a movie, I’ve only seen her in the descendants so this was a bit of a change haha. I’m not that big of a fan of kj but he was great as well and i really loved his characters style.

7/10

6. star trek

The brash James T. Kirk tries to live up to his father’s legacy with Mr. Spock keeping him in check as a vengeful Romulan from the future creates black holes to destroy the Federation one planet at a time. 

starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Leonard Nimoy, Carl Urban, Eric Bana, Bruce Greenwood, Zoe Zaldana, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Anton Yelchin

I put it on because I wanted to have some background noise while playing sims but I ended up playing like 20 minutes and then just watching the movie haha I forgot how good it was, and the others as well, aaand I totally forgot carl urban was in it, so that was a little surprise. anyways, can recommend watching them if you’re into sci-fi action movies but at the same time, if you’re into that I’m pretty sure you’ve already watched them.

7.5/10

bonus: I also watched star trek beyond the other day but this time I was barely paying attention so I can't really say too much, but it's also quite good👍🏻

7. step up all in

All-stars from the previous Step up installments come together in glittering Las Vegas, battling for a victory that could define their dreams and their careers.

starring: Ryan Guzman, Briana Evigan, Adam Sevani, Misha Gabriel Hamilton, Sephen Stevo Jones, David Schreibman, Mari Koda, Alyson Stoner, Izabella Miko

definetly one of my favourite dance movies. highly recommend it!! I’d like it more without the romancde but it’s fine, I guess, I can live with it haha and the last performance... wow just wow that’s all I can say to that. y’all go watch it

9/10

8. project almanac

A group of teens discover secret plans of a time machine, and construct one. However, things start to get out of control.

starring: Jonny Weston, Sofia Black-D’Elia, Sam Lerner, Allen Evangelista, Virginia Gardner

okay... I did enjoy watching it! the beginning was a little slow imo but then it just got more and more intense which was kinda nice. god, at some point the main guy kept making the wrong decisions and that was very frustrating to watch. the ending was alright, spoiler ahead (I guess) I would have liked the ending more if it was the exact same as the beginning, meaning that the movie is just one big time loop and the events from the movie were about to repeat themselves. but that's just my opinion🤷🏻‍♀️

6.5/10

9. ant man

Armed with a super-suit with the astonishing ability to shrink in scale but increase in strength, cat burglar Scott Lang must embrace his inner hero and help his Mentor Dr. Pym, plan and pull off a heist that will save the world.

starring: Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lilly, Corey Stoll, Michael Pena, Bobby Cannavale, David Dastmalchian, T.I.

another one of my favorite mcu movies. it's just fun and easy and doesn't have a lot of pain in it. the giant ant it's my favorite part haha I want it as a pet

9/10

10. space sweepers

Set in the year 2092 and follows the crew of a space junk collector ship called The Victory. When they discover a humanoid robot named Dorothy that's known to be a weapon of mass destruction, they get involved in a risky business deal.

starring: Song Joong-Kim, Kim Tae-ri, Seon-kyu Jin, Hyang-gi Kim, Richard Armitage, Ye-Rin Park

I really loved this movie. I cried like 6 times haha, which came unexpected. (or maybe it's because I'm suppose to get my period any day now) I did not think I was going to enjoy this movie as much as I did, at all. it was fun, it was exciting, it was sad (even my dad said that) the plot was good, the visual effects were amazing, it did feel like I was watching this movie for like 5 hours but not in a bad way and I am now kinda emotionally attached to the characters haha (I might do a rewatch). another thing I really liked was the language/synchronization. in the original version they speak mostly korean and english but also some other languages and it's the same in the synchronizations. the dialogue of the main characters is in the language you pick but every other character (I guess) is a different language and I absolutely love that. I highly recommend watching this!!

also, its was super weird seeing Richard Armitage not as a dwarf hahaha

10/10

11. christiane f.

A teen girl in 1970's Berlin becomes addicted to heroin. Everything in her life slowly begins to distort and disappear as she befriends a small crew of junkies and falls in love with a drug-abusing male prostitute.

starring: Natja Brunckhorst, Thomas Haustein, Jens Kuphal, Christiane Reichelt

I binged the series the other day and after the last episode this movie was in the "watch next" thingy idk and I thought "well, why not" and watched it. good movie, definitely!! I really liked that they didn't show the highs of doing heroin but focused on the negative effects it has on someone and what it's doing to your body. it is a super realistic but very very dark movie. the actors were all about 15/16 years old and looked very young which was a good and kinda disturbing thing because christiane and her friend were like 13/14 when that all happened and it made you realise that there were kids doing all that stuff

9/10

12. jurrasic world

A new theme park, built on the original site of Jurassic Park, creates a genetically modified hybrid dinosaur, the Indominus Rex, which escapes containment and goes on a killing spree.

starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Ty simpkins, Nick Robinson, Irrfan Khan, Vincent D'Onofrio

13. jurassic world fallen kingdom

When the island's dormant volcano begins roaring to life, Owen and Claire mount a campaign to rescue the remaining dinosaurs from this extinction-level event.

starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rafe Spall, Justice Smith, Daniella Pineda, Isabella Sermon

I am tired and don't really want to say all that much other than both of them are very good and I do like them. good action/adventure movies. can definitely recommend them. I definitely like the first one more because it feels like (just a little bit) that the main story in the second one is the same as in the first one, someone creates a new dinosaur species to make more money and something goes terribly wrong along the way. but it's still entertaining!

jurassic wolrd: 7.5/10

jurassic world fallen kingdom: 7/10

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen’s Rambling: A Combat School Anime About Combat (Absolute Duo)

Every year I go out of my way to rewatch three anime. 

The first is Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple, a martial arts comedy anime that I’ve always found enjoyment out of since I first watched it quite a few years ago back in the early 2010s. I never watch this to completion anymore given it’s over 40 episodes, but watching about 5 or 8 episodes helps me remember what I love about this genre. The wacky fights, the likable characters, the plot progression, all good stuff that I can recommend to anyone.

The second is Master of Martial Hearts, another martial arts anime that is so legendarily bad that it’s almost a required viewing for any anime fan. I watch this as a sort of palette cleanser to just remind myself of what a truly bad anime is like when I feel like raving and complaining about how uncreative the Isekai genre is. All I have to look back at this anime and then ask myself: “Is there an anime as bad as Master of Martial Hearts in the year 2019?” If the answer is no (when the answer is no), I know that we still live in a world where anime is pretty okay. 

And the last thing I watch every year is Absolute Duo, an anime that is honestly pretty average in the grand scheme of things, but is such a fun and comfortable watch that I can’t help but enjoy it every year. I decided to watch my yearly three shows a little out of order this time and... well, I just want to talk a little about this show for a bit.

And let’s start this as I usually do, with the premise.

Absolute Duo focuses on a Tor Kokonoe, a young man who becomes a student at Kouryou Academy, a military school that trains students called Exceeds who wield spiritual/soul weapons known as Blazes. Tor is an Irregular, a title given to him due to his Blaze manifesting as a shield instead of a melee weapon like everyone else. With his Duo partner Julie Sigtuna they train and fight off several threats to reach Absolue Duo, the final frontier of an Exceed’s power.

That’s the basic premise, pretty standard for a Combat School anime. However, I like how serious the show takes that premise. Or at least how much the show recognizes that this is, in fact, a military school. It’s not so much that I like the show, but that I like all the little bits of world-building that go into it. Classes focus on tactics and combat, a character’s strength and ability are the main way to keep their grade. Students that don’t get stronger are expelled after their first year, and so on. It’s simple stuff, but with how little teeth most anime of this archetype show, this was a breath of fresh air.  

The first episode is what honestly hooked me. Tor meets up with a girl named Imari, they hit things off pretty well, there’s even a hint of romance. As the scene goes on and the two reach the entrance ceremony you’d think she’d be the main lead and that they’d be paired up for the rest of the series.

But then in the entrance ceremony turns out to be a duel to the finish, with the two new friends having to fight it out in order to remain at school.

This... caught me off guard. Heck, this caught everyone in the cast off guard. People were confused at first, but the headmaster made it clear that getting into the school was the easy part, earning the right to remain was the next step. When Tor questioned the headmaster about this strange rite of passage she simply responses by saying they’ll have to fight both in class and after graduation, that they were given powers to use and so they need to prove why they want to keep them. In short, to repeat what I had said  a few years ago:

It was... a surprise when I first watched this, it’s still a surprise to this day so many years later. The stakes were set in such a surprisingly cold way that it kept me interesting. It was then I knew I was watching something just a little different.

And the show picks up from there. New challenges are met, new allies and enemies are made, and so on. If that first episode got you interested then it was likely you’d stick around for at least another two or three.

I already give a spiel about this anime two years ago and while I don’t like that post as much any more my thoughts remain the same for the most part. And I don’t feel like giving a play-by-play of all the bits I personally enjoyed, but I’ll at least go over all the little world-building parts and overall moments that impressed me:

The fact that Blazes are created via nanomachines and injectionss was surprisingly dark for such an overall lighthearted show. It really give it a bit more edge than I expected.

Seeing Imari come back in the second half of the show was a huge surprise, and a pleasant on at that since she left a really good impression on me. Something else I like was that although she did have romantic feelings for Tor she knew their chance meeting was just chance that she needed to step down and let someone with a better shot at him take it. It really spoke to her maturity and got me even more invested in her character... even if at that point she was just a side character.

The fact that there was (technically) one romantic interest that had a shot at Tor and that she confessed to him was not only a surprise, but welcomed. However, due to shenanigans that happened after the confession I’ll just say that it lost it’s impact pretty quickly.

The overall narrative theme of figuring out what lengths one will go to obtain power was compelling. I just wish they went a little deeper with it, especially for Tor and Julie who had more selfish reasons for wanting to become Blazes. Like I said, you get these powers via injections, so it could had gone to some interesting places if they focused on it more.

Tsukimi was a very interesting villain, a cosplaying teacher with a surprisingly vicious side she only revealed to those that survived her initial snap. She was always fun to watch interact with the cast after she finished her villain segment. A lot of my own characters tend to follow a “cute, but actually evil” character archetype to them, so maybe that’s why I enjoyed her so much. 

...

...

...

Again, I miss the little line breaks I could do back in the old days of Tumblr.

Regardless, despite my praise I can’t recommend this series. I ordered the full DVD series with episode commentaries from the dub staff, but I don’t think I’ll come back to this anime unless I have a really specific itch for it. Instead, I think I’ll throw out some anime that are a little more worth watching.

Armed Girl’s Machiavellism isn’t a combat school anime per se, but it is an action series that takes place in a school and has combat in it. It’s a pretty fun ride throughout with a surprisingly likable main character. You can catch this on both VRV and Amazon, though I know for a fact the dub is on VRV if you’re into that like I am.

Chivalry of a Failed Knight is a combat school anime that has been seen as probably one of the better, if not best, combat school anime out there. It takes it’s premise seriously, it takes it’s action seriously, and still keeps an overall lighthearted tone. I’d definitely recommend giving this one a shot if you’re interested.

And while a little out of left field, Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash is about to replace Absolute Duo on my yearly watchlist since if the Isekai boom isn’t fizzling out anytime soon, I might as well watch a good one to remind myself of how this genre should play out. It’s... an Isekai show that takes it’s premise a little more seriously and deconstructs the general a little bit. I’d say a good comparison would be a much lighter version of Goblin Slayer with some Isekai elements thrown in.

And I believe that’s it. I’ll catch you all later when I do the Weekly Update tomorrow.

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: FOSSE/VERDON

Are you ready for another prestige limited series from FX? Do you like the legitimate THE-A-TRE? Can you do jazz hands upon request? Well then Fosse/Verdon might be for you. MAYBE.

But what about the wigs? Let’s discuss. As this an eight episode series, I will be updating this post weekly and adjusting whether or not the wigs do or do not wurq. Spoilers, obvs.

So this show is about legendary director/choreographer Bob Fosse and his wife/Broadway legend, Gwen Verdon. If you have never heard of either, I suggest that you stop reading because this show is definitely not for you. Sorry? Produced by Lin-Manuel Miranda and directed by Hamilton’s Thomas Kail, this show is made ONLY for theater megageeks and basically no one else. As a former drama club president who definitely got Joel Grey’s autograph after seeing the original Broadway revival cast of Chicago, I thought I fit that bill but after watching this thing, I don’t even know that I qualify. My husband, who spent most of the episode asking questions until finally just deeming the whole thing “boring” was absolutely not the key demographic and yes he went into this knowing who these two people are and has seen several musicals. Similar limited series focusing on very specific pop culture such as Feud: Bette and Joan did a much better job catering to the uninitiated. 

EPISODE ONE: LIFE IS A CABARET

We begin at the end, then go straight to the middle, which is: a choice. We first see Sam Rockwell in old man makeup (sorry - I could find no images of this to share) and then backtrack. Much of this episode is focused on Fosse’s transition from choreographer to film director. This is when Fosse had already lost much of his hair and had a bad combover and Rockwell is given this wig that is giving me Ed Harris circa 1998 feels and like all bad man wigs, looks terrible from the back.

We are then plunged straight into production for the film version of Sweet Charity without any explanation of anything other than the fact that (duh) he’s directing the iconic Big Spender number. But wait - there’s a twist! Turns out Michelle Williams as Gwen Verdon did a lot of the directing! DUN DUN DUN. I am all for giving ladies their propers and approaching narratives as if they are Glenn Close’s The Wife character but this does not change the fact that this red Marilyn Monroe wig is not very good. 

This is all very Theatre-y with a capital T and an ending in RE NOT ER. Everything has a Theatre quality to it - but not in that Tony winning Hamilton way, more in that Emmy winning Grease: Live! way (Kail directed both) which is to say that there is no immediacy or intimacy to anything - all the characters feel like they are far away, performing on a stage - and it leaves the viewer feeling empty and, well, bored. TV and stage are just not the same! Oh, and Fosse just found out that movies and stage are not the same because Sweet Charity was a big flop! Look at how sad they are in their gorgeous apartment and terrible, bent wigs with backs that jut out from their necks! THE HORROR!

So then Paul Reiser shows up. He is fine and I’m glad he’s getting work and he’s thankfully not wearing a wig! When a new character shows up in this show, you spend the first five minutes or so trying to figure out who they are supposed to be playing, like an IMDb charades game since no one explains who they are and simply give vague context clues. At first, I thought he was Neil Simon, then he mentioned making a movie with homosexuals and Nazis so I was like: DEFINITELY MEL BROOKS but it turns out it he is Cabaret producer Cy Feuer. You, know - CY FEUER? You don’t?? WELL WE’RE NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU WE ARE FOSSE/VERDON.

Aaaaanyway, Fosse gets the job of directing Cabaret and goes to Munich and meets Liza Minnelli who in this tv reality looks like this which is not how Liza Minnelli ever looked. AND THIS WIG. AT LEAST GIVE LIZA A GOOD WIG NOT ONE YOU FOUND AT RICKY’S. NEXT.

Then Paul Reiser gives Sam Rockwell a lot of guff about taking too long to direct things and not deciding about costumes and hiring ugly German prostitutes to be extras yet somehow allows him to wear these really ugly shoes. Throughout, Rockwell’s wig is a mess of a tumbleweave, not unlike this show. And then Michelle Williams shows up to save his ass like all capable ladies ever and even goes to buy a gorilla suit in NYC only to arrive back in Munich where Rockwell is boning some German translator who looks way too much like Ann Reinking. There’s also a lot of nonlinear theatrical vignettes into Fosse’s past that play like, well, All That Jazz. Which this is not. 

In the end, we go back to old man Fosse, and it is told to us that he has only EIGHT MORE MINUTES TO LIVE. Kudos to the production team for somehow trying to turn  Bob Fosse’s 1987 death into a thriller. Spoiler: it’s not.

EPISODE TWO: WHO’S GOT THE PAIN?

We (obvs?) begin in Majorca, where 70s-era Fosse and Verdon have gone to patch up their marriage. Also can you think of a more bougie place to go in the 70s to patch up your fancy marriage? There are a lot of scenes on the beach where Sam Rockwell’s 90s Ed Harris wig gets blown around and Michelle Williams cries into a cardigan. And because misery loves company, apparently their best friends, the Neil Simons, are along for the ride. Joan Simon is Gwenny’s best gal pal and her wig is something one might find in a pile of Halloween wigs to play Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.

We then travel back to 1955, or “267 since Gwen Verdon’s first Tony Award.” Yes, this show is still doing this insufferable titling which really is a lot of fun facts that add up to nothing. Regardless, we’re at the point where Verdon and Fosse meet as he “auditions” her for Damn Yankees which he is to choreograph. I have to say that this scene, with both actors dancing and wearing much better wigs than their characters wear in the 70s (still terrible though!) was pretty fun! They can dance! 

They also obvs fall very much in love, though weirdly the scene of them actually having sex for the first time is buried in a montage. You have very odd priorities, Fosse/Verdon! Complicating matters is Gwen’s perpetually bent wig, Fosse’s kind of ok in comparison wig, and oh and the fact that he’s married!

This show not only wants but DEMANDS that you wikipedia everything that is happening, mainly from its distinct lack of good storytelling. Anyway, Fosse’s 2nd wife was Joan McCracken and OMG CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A PRESTIGE TV SHOW ABOUT HER? Wiki tells me that her first husband ended up being Truman Capote’s lover and that Capote based the character of Holly Golightly on her and seriously why are we wasting our time on this Fosse/Verdon mess when we could be learning more about her?!?! Anyway, what the show does tell us is that she has a mysterious illness that makes her sometimes not be able to walk (Wiki explained that she had some heart attacks around this time). Also, she is no fool and fully realizes that Fosse is gonna leave her fabulous ass for Gwenny - just the way he left his first wife for her! Also please look at Sam’s terrible lace front here. Also Joan’s wig is very much Joan Allen in Pleasantville which is to say: the best wig on this show. 

Anyway, the rest of the episode is devoted to working out some musical kinks in Damn Yankees and watching Michelle Williams dance around in a bad wig. Oh, and then finally leave Fosse in Majorca when she realizes he’s about to leave HER fabulous ass for some German translator (I’m sensing a theme here). And the show ends trying to make Joan McCracken’s death into a thriller! Spoiler: Wikipedia tells me she died in 1961! Wikipedia is a much better show than this, also. 

EPISODE THREE: ME AND MY BABY

We begin in some random editing suite where Fosse has gone to begin editing Cabaret and because this show cannot and will not stop trying to be All that Jazz (which I rewatched this weekend and LORDT IS THIS SHOW TRYING TO BE THAT MOVIE - AND ALSO BOTH ARE GARBAGE!) there is an elaborate dance number with random editing assistant (?) ladies. The one good part of this is: Sam Rockwell dancing. Otherwise: garbage fire.

Speaking of garbage fires, the (4 hour!) rough edit of Cabaret that the editors put together for Fosse while he was in Majorca (which he was really pissed about because HOW DARE THEY DO THEIR JOBS) is a friggin mess. Speaking of messes, THE BACK OF THIS WIG. Is Fosse a monk? What is happening here? However, I do appreciate the casting of the dude who played SpongeBob on Broadway as Joel Grey. 

Back at Casa Verdon, where Fosse DOES NOT LIVE ANYMORE, Gwenny is making dinner and trying to get her own career back together when Fosse shows up unannounced with Chinese food and pleas for Gwenny to help him edit the mess that is Cabaret. RUDE! Gwenny and her bent wig have their own dinner dates with her agent, Peter Scolari at the Russian Tea Room to get to THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 

Thus, Gwenny leaves their daughter with Fosse and his epic combover at the editing suite to go to her dinner date and HE CAN’T EVEN HANDLE being with his tween daughter for a few hours (since he definitely has to make time to bone his editing assistant) and ropes Norbert Leo Butz in a very shaggy wig to come hang out with his kid in a hotel room. Gwenny is NOT HAVING IT. 

Even though Butz basically just ate a bunch of sloppy food and made the daughter watch a b horror movie, Gwenny points out that leaving a tweenage daughter with a random dude in a hotel room is INAPPROPRIATE EVEN IF THAT DUDE WROTE MARTY WHICH IS A PERFECT MOVIE. 

This makes her reflect on her own (somehow very Magdalene-Sisters-like) tweenage years (as played by a younger actress whose image could NOT be found on the internet, gurl) when she was raped and impregnated and then slut-shamed by her parents into marrying a much older alcoholic. YIKES. 

So back in the 70s,  despite the fact that she’s in some rando straight play called Children! Children! (yes really) which is being directed by a condescending asshole and taking care of her kid, she somehow finds time to go help her estranged idiot husband edit the movie that she basically co-directed. SERIOUSLY WOMEN HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING. Also all these wigs look like crap. Just when you think Fosse is maybe being redeemable, he decides to bring up the Gwenny’s illegitimate son AT THE VERY WORST MOMENT DUDE YOU ARE THE WORST.

Back with Young Gwenny, we see her giving her infant son to her parents to raise so she can go be a dancer. We then cut to her triumphant turn in Can-Can (some years later but Fosse/Verdon definitely doesn’t specify how many). Gwenny’s show might be a triumph, but her wig is still a mess. Oh, and she’s still haunted by the cries of the baby she gave up BECAUSE WOMEN CAN NEVER FULLY HAVE NICE THINGS.

EPISODE FOUR: GLORY

We begin at Cabaret. Isn’t life one, you guys? Fosse is all poised for this to be the flop that (apparently?) Sweet Charity was but nope: it’s a big huge critical and commercial hit! Do whatever you want, now, Fosse! Oh wait, you already do everything you want anyway? Cool! Fosse and his circa 1997 Ed Harris wig are now unstoppably arrogant! Get ready! So Fosse’s next project is the medieval/psychedelic nonsense musical, Pippin which will definitely give you contact highs. 

JUST LOOK AT HOW HIGH THIS MUSICAL IS. I think when people from the Mid Waste think of Broadway musicals, this is what most of them still think that looks like. Also this is how I fear I’ll die. 

Speaking of! Gwenny’s best galpal, Joan Simon (wife to Neil) is dying of cancer! It’s very sad because she’s really nice and despite her bad Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction wig I appreciate her dedication to half updos with bows that match her outfits. 

Gwenny does not even have time to be sad about this because she needs to take her bent wig over to Pippin rehearsals to pick up her daughter only to find that Fosse has given her FOUR TABS TO DRINK THAT IS LIKE 3 1/2 TOO MANY. She handles it by smiling through her hatred and truly this was a very Miranda Priestly moment and also I like Gwen’s top. ALSO LOOK AT THE BACK OF FOSSE’S WIG NO THANK YOU PLEASE.

Over at Pippin rehearsals, we also meet Ann Reinking (who will become Fosse’s lady love for the next decade or so) but for now she’s keeping things professional and also this is Andie MacDowell’s (wigless, thank god) daughter. Ok!

Fosse is definitely NOT keeping things professional and basically boning the rest of the Pippin ensemble cast, whether they like it or not! There is a very #MeToo moment where Fosse ends up getting a knee to the groin and GOOD.

Not so good? Gwenny’s play Children! Children! (that title - I still can’t). Despite asking Fosse to come over and FIX. IT. he is too busy becoming the poster dude for Time’s Up and Gwenny’s show ends up getting bad reviews and closing immediately. Also her wig is fully turning into a Jean Stapleton in All in the Family lewk. Whilst Gwenny’s professional life is going to crap, Fosse is winning ALL THE AWARDS as shown in a really confusing montage which suggested that the Tony Awards are before the Oscars. INCORRECT.

In the end, Fosse drunkenly tries to go bone Gwenny but she has wisely shacked up with that dude from Obvious Child which literally leads Fosse into a MENTAL INSTITUTION and the entire show to basically just turn into All that Jazz which I will remind everyone is a very derivative and terrible movie! OY.

EPISODE 5: WHERE AM I GOING?

The title of this episode should really be an question for the viewer: where are you going? Where are we all going? Are we still really watching this show? Sadly: yes. UGH I think we’re more than halfway through now? Let’s just finish this thing!

We begin at the mental hospital where Fosse ended the last episode. Gwenny and their kid are visiting him and Fosse is basically catatonic. This does not stop Gwenny from moving FULL STEAM AHEAD ON CHICAGO! Then cut to: Southampton? Huh? Sure! There, Fosse and his best bros, Neil Simon and Paddy Chayefsky are having a beach weekend which leads to the above upsetting 70s mens shorts (which thankfully Norbert Leo Butz did NOT sign on for). I love dudes who refuse to wear shorts in the summer, no matter how hot it is. My husband is one of these dudes. 

The one problem with this beach weekend? Everybody together in their best impression of Renee Zellweger in Cold Mountain: IT’S RAINING! So everyone is stuck inside. And also it’s kind of a Big Chill sort of scenario except the role of Kevin Costner as the dead friend is now: Joan Simon. And also Fosse just got out of a mental institution 3 months ago. And he’s there with his girlfriend and Gwenny is there with her boyfriend. AND ALL THE WIGS ARE TERRIBLE. 

So Fosse’s girlfriend: Ann Reinking! When last we saw her, she was ignoring Fosse at Pippin rehearsals but it’s explained that after his (1 week!) stay in the looney bin, he gave her a ring and now they’re in LURRRVE. Ok? Andie MacDowell’s daughter plays Annie and she doesn’t wear a wig and she’s fine. Fosse’s circa 1997 Ed Harris wig is still very upsetting. As is his tan!

Also upsetting? Gwenny rolls up with this RAT TAIL (it’s hard to see in this pic but it’s the best I could do!) We’re supposed to believe that in the last 3 months she suddenly grew this monstrosity out?!?! MORE ON THE BONE CHILLING TRUTH ABOUT THIS RAT TAIL LATER.

Gwenny also has a really nice boyfriend named Ron. He is played by that guy who played a nice guy in The Office, Obvious Child, and Girls. He doesn’t wear a wig and he is very nice! Fosse’s combover is not! 

Oh also along for the ride is Fosse/Verdon’s daughter Nicole who is definitely too young to be dealing with all these effed up grownups and also is bored and ends up giving herself a cigarette/pickle-induced stomach virus. GET IT TOGETHER, PARENTS.

Most of the episode is about whether Fosse should direct Dustin Hoffman in Lenny or proceed with Gwenny’s vanity project, Chicago, despite the fact that his doctors told him to take a year off work from either! Spoiler to anyone who has never seen All that Jazz or who does not know enough about Fosse to even bother watching this: HE DOES BOTH! WHO IS THIS SHOW EVEN FOR?!?! Also Norbert Leo Butz’s man wig is not as bad as the rest. Great work on not wearing shorts again also! Also Fosse/Verdon bone again in secret even though they are married but have lovers. The 70s! 

 And now to the critical and bone-chilling facts about Gwenny’s rat tail! After a night of drinking and making terrible professional and personal choices, Gwenny sits down to a breakfast of coffee and one single piece of fruit and then....UNCLIPS HER RAT TAIL AND POUFS IT UP! So first off, that clears up the whole “how did her hair grow so long so fast” question. HOWEVER. This now leads to another case of WIG GASLIGHTING. This is when a wig (which is being passed off as real hair) is of equal or lesser quality to a wig that is a known wig within the context of the narrative. In other words - the quality of this rat tail (which we now know to be a wig) is of the same exact quality as the wig Michelle Williams wears to play Gwenny. WIG GASLIGHTING! For other bone-chilling examples of past wig gaslightings please see my reviews of The Danish Girl and Oceans Eight. WIG GASLIGHTING IS TERRIFYING.

EPISODE 6: ALL I CARE ABOUT IS LOVE

And here we are. Throughout this (limited) season, we’ve gotten hints and asides, teases and tosses of All That Jazz but this episode fully just is a remake of the movie All That Jazz. Which I recently rewatched and is terrible. Terrible still? Anyone who would be watching this show would clearly be familiar with this awful film - so why make an episode that is that entire movie with absolutely no new information?!?! Again: WHO IN THE HELL IS THIS SHOW FOR?!?!

Anyway, if you haven’t seen All That Jazz, this episode is about Fosse editing Lenny while also directing/choreographing Chicago AND having some heart issues that end in hospitalization. Gwenny’s wig is bent as ever and Fosse’s circa 1997 Ed Harris lewk is still the same. Truly, there is no new information in this episode at all except that some of it is presented with Fosse AS Lenny Bruce which was an AWFUL IDEA. 

OH! Except this lady playing Chita Rivera who is really good and has the brunette version of Gwenny’s bent wig. 

ALSO! Nicole Fosse is now played by this slightly older actor who looks nothing like her younger version (or the actual Nicole Fosse) and is in a definitely terrible wig (and also forced to wear heavy makeup to visit her dad in the hospital because kids aren’t allowed to visit hospitals? IS THIS REALLY A RULE?)

Anyway, there’s a lot of All That Jazz hospital drama here and a lot of terrible flashblacks to Fosse’s burlesque tween years which attempt to explain his messed up relationship with women in an extremely Don Draper in Mad Men flashback way. There is also messed up hospital sex with Ann Reinking! THIS EPISODE IS AWFUL IN EVERY WAY!

EPISODE 7: NOWADAYS

Fosse recovered! For now! Back at Chicago rehearsals, everyone is wearing extra socks and doing just great. The most important addition to this show this week is that they got some dude to play Jerry Orbach! His man wig was terrible!

He also very did not look like Jerry Orbach! Anyway, this episode was mainly about Gwenny being TOO OLD for all this choreography, y’all. She was huffing and puffing all over fake Jerry Orbach so Fosse had to cut a lot of her dancing but once the show opened guess what? Gwenny got better reviews than the show itself! Take that, dance steps! However, there was a whole part where Gwenny read Fosse for filth and said that he owed his entire career to her and how dare he make the finale a duet between her and Chita! (He made the finale a duet). There were also many flashbacks about Fosse and Gwenny’s fertility issues and I almost believed that Nicole was adopted until Gwenny got legit pregnant while Fosse was too busy dancing to construct cribs. You almost taught me something, Fosse/Verdon!

OMG I CAN’T STOP LOOKING AT THESE PICTURES OF FAKE JERRY ORBACH. Anyway, Fosse/Verdon then legit DID teach me something: apparently a few weeks into the run of Chicago, Gwenny inhaled some confetti during the finale and it effed with her vocal chords but she refused to leave the show, thinking it might close if she did. BUT THEN Fosse got LIZA EFFING MINNELLI to take her place while she got surgery and recovered! This was news to me! HOWEVER, Fosse/Verdon refused to show me any footage of even fake Liza in the show which was a real missed opportunity. 

Anyway, Liza revived the show and Gwenny was kind of pissed about it but on every level: THE SHOW MUST GO ON. Here is Gwenny during the finale which she was forced to share with Chita. And this show didn’t even show us the full finale! I DEMAND TO SEE MICHELLE WILLIAMS DOING THE HOT HONEY RAG WHY DID YOU EVEN MAKE THIS SHOW IF I CAN’T SEE IT. There is literally no reason for this show to exist if it can’t show me Michelle Williams doing a cartwheel in a top hat.  What a world. What a wig. 

IN CONCLUSION: LOOK AGAIN AT THE TERRIBLE MAN WIG ON FAKE JERRY ORBACH. 

EPISODE 8: PROVIDENCE

We begin (or should I say end?) with some grumpy old men talking about what they can and cannot eat (spoiler: they can’t eat anything good!) Both Fosse and BFF Paddy Chayefsky have heart conditions and creative conditions. And I have a condition with this wig on Norbert Leo Butz. NO THANK YOU PLEASE. Anyway, Paddy tells Fosse how to rewrite All That Jazz aka how to rewrite his life and Fosse DOESN’T WANNA HEAR IT. And then Paddy dies and Fosse quite literally dances on his grave but in a really sad and mournful way. Yes, really. 

Meanwhile, Fosse interviews Gwenny in preparation for All That Jazz which honestly is just way to meta at this point, and she kinda tells it like it is. And I kinda know I’m not gonna miss this bent wig! 

Meanwhile, Ann Reinking is forced to audition to play herself in All That Jazz while under the painfully awkward and terrible direction of Fosse in this circa 1996 Ed Harris wig and LORDT I WILL NOT MISS LOOKING AT THE BAD OF THIS THING!

Then over at All that Jazz rehearsals, Gwenny and Nicole are met with bizzarro visions of themselves much like these bizarro visions of themselves in this show and omg everything just got way too meta and NIcole’s wig gives me hives. 

AND THEN. AND FRIGGIN THEN. LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA HAD THE AUDACITY TO PLAY ROY SHEIDER PLAYING BOB FOSSE IN ALL THAT JAZZ. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THIS SHOW COULDN’T GET ANY MORE VAINGLORIOUS. MY HEAD AND MY TV JUST EXPLODED. 

Honestly, this is the only way for this terrible show to end - in a blaze of glory and nonsense. Well actually, it ended with Gwenny and Fosse reteaming in old age makeup to direct the revival of Sweet Charity but the internet refused to give me any pictures of that and fine. And then Fosse died on a sidewalk in the arms of Gwenny. And then for some reason the whole show ended with a shot of Nicole Fosse’s Vermont house. 

WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP IT’S BEEN YOU GUYS. But now we can finally be rid of these terrible terrible wigs and this terrible terrible show. 

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

[littlestarlost]

This Isn't Mine.

1. Monsters

I’m ten or eleven years old and I’ve just transferred schools, from the small elementary academy where I skipped a grade and was mercilessly bullied to a gifted program where, finally, it seems like the dust is perhaps starting to settle. I’ve been recently diagnosed with ADHD, and the monsters that have tormented me, both real and metaphorical, don’t seem to be breathing down my neck anymore. I have a Macintosh II, handed down from my dad; it has a proprietary word processor on it, and one day, I begin to write about the characters in an anime I love called Digimon. I’ve written stories before, of course; I’ve always been a writer, and a precocious one at that. I’m a gifted child; I often intimidate adults, never mind people my age. But this writing feels different; I don’t get bored of it, or restless when it doesn’t come together as quickly as my original stories. I can go back to the show whenever I start to feel confused, and get re-energized by watching the story unfold. I can keep the characters consistent, because I can literally hear their voices in my mind. But along with the characters of the show, I’ve created my own; her name is Raven, and she’s a new Digidestined, and everyone in the gang wants to be her friend. In the real world, I am lonely, anxious, isolated, insecure. I don’t know how to interact with people my age. I’ve buried myself in books and stories ever since I could read, finding solace in the characters who I imagined could see me for who I really was. On this computer, I make this feeling manifest in real words. My family doesn’t get it; my siblings tease me about it. I have no friends yet, so I can’t get their opinion, but a voice in my mind tells me that this is something I need to hide. Something I shouldn’t be proud of. And yet it’s comforting, nurturing, soothing. It’s good.

I have no idea that Raven’s real name is Mary Sue, nor that she embodies every single trope that we love to hate: she is perfect at everything and yet intensely vulnerable; she can beat every protagonist at their own game but still needs them to rescue her; she is sick and literally healed by the strength of the characters’ love for her. I don’t know that these tropes are universal; all I know is that I imagine these situations, where these characters I love can love me back for exactly who I am, and it makes me happy.

2. Revisions

I’m twelve years old, and I love Escaflowne. I tape the episodes on VHS whenever I can, paranoid that if I miss one I’ll never ever get a chance to see it. I hoard the tapes, watch and rewatch the episodes, and feel the pull of the strongest sensation imaginable—a huge swell of energy that is more exhilarating than any thrill ride, but is easily volatile. I don’t know how to control my emotions; I wield them clumsily, bumping up against this and that, unable to understand why I feel so much and why it hurts when that intensity is shattered by the real world. The emotions easily become overwhelming, leaving me crying over everything and nothing at all.

At school, my friend Leah tells me about a website where people have written stories with the Escaflowne characters—stories where Van and Hitomi end up happily ever after, where all my fantasies and dreams come true. There is one story in particular, a 30-chapter monstrosity called Re-visions, and I fall helplessly under its spell. I had no idea that other people did this, this thing I’ve done in secret for the past few years, this act of writing I thought I invented because I’d never had the chance to connect with anyone before. I had no idea that fan fiction could be like this. That there could be thousands of new island universes, each tethered to the original canon with a simple disclaimer: The characters and original story belong to their original creators. This isn’t mine.

I bond with Leah over this fanfic. I bond with others, too, over Escaflowne and then Gundam Wing. My fanfiction.net pen name is two Japanese words that sounded nice together.

I read fic after fic after fic; I hoard bookmarks, burying myself in shiny treasures, losing them immediately in my trove. I begin to read and write tentative romances, steeped in my own insecurities and repressed anxieties. I take the first steps on the road to sexuality by this gentle proxy, collecting first kiss scenes to read and reread and imagine with vivid passion what my own experiences will be like. My laptop background is of the Gundam pilots, a piece of fan art from a site called LeLoLa. I cover my school notebooks in pictures of Van and Allen and Quatre and Trowa. As I navigate the thicket of middle school and burgeoning adolescence, I imagine that they’re with me, like ghosts standing just over my shoulder.

And they love me; they love every part of me. It is their imagined encouragement that allows me to show up to school dances and take to the middle of the floor and show off what I love to do. It is their silent support that gets me out of bed some days. These characters in my mind only see the person I imagine I am at my best, but they love me no matter what, even when I screw up in social situations and replay humiliating moment after humiliating moment over and over because nothing, nothing, ever seems to go the way I wish it did in my mind. These characters accompany me to summer camp, where my bunkmates are my former elementary school peers, and everyone still remembers my childhood transgressions—but these characters don’t. They would want to hang out with me; they would sit with me at lunch, pick me for the soccer team, cheer me on in the camp musical. Even at my most socially isolated, I am never truly alone.

I start writing more ambitious fics of my own. I dream of getting 100 reviews on something someday. I finish a Gundam Wing story, long and epic and full of first kisses and dramatic rescues, and I’m so proud of myself that I think I might burst. But as I grow, I start to find that my emotions fade over time. The pull of gravity, that tug that spirals me into a fictional world and makes the characters feel like old friends—it starts out so strong that it’s overwhelming. Each press of the button opens the gates, releasing a crush of emotional material that floods my brain with dopamine, and it’s addictive and entrancing and it makes me feel so good. But each time, the sensation fades just a little, and then, inevitably, one day I find that I feel nothing at all. This isn’t mine, and now it’s not there anymore. The act of borrowing implies an inevitable return; that’s what makes it different from theft.

I learn that this beautiful emotional thrill ride has an expiration date. That, at some point, the love for a particular show fades, and then it’s gone, and there’s nothing I can do except to move on, find the next thing, fall in love all over again. This tradeoff is too painful to examine, so I don’t; I just keep moving, to X-Men and Smallville and Newsies and Harry Potter and a hundred little stops in between. These years will later be some of the most consistently bright memories of my adolescence, in a life filled with more downs than ups. Through it all, the disclaimers persist: I’m just borrowing it. This isn’t mine.

3. Endings and Beginnings

I’m fifteen years old, and while I’ve watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer on and off for a few years, I’ve never followed it religiously. For some reason I see a promo for an episode of its spinoff, Angel, where the lead character is turned into a muppet. I watch the episode; it concludes with two side characters, Wes and Fred, sharing a first kiss. I’m entranced; the swell of emotion rises once again, latching onto this new property, this new couple. I dive into the earlier seasons of the show, to learn everything I can about this new and wonderful gravity source. I write tragic character pieces about Wesley and one-off fluff fics where he and Fred get together earlier. I’m a little bit better at writing kisses now. And in the very next episode, it’s all snatched away, with Fred’s death; half a dozen episodes after that, the series ends forever. I’m shocked; I’m shattered. I’m in mourning, despondent over losing this beautiful thing just as it began. My sister and I bond over this show—a rare moment of agreement for us. I decide to write my own version of the ending, where things turn out better than they did on TV. The disclaimer still holds: I don’t own Angel. It isn’t mine, but if it was, here’s what would have happened. And it’s amazing; it’s got humour, it’s got romance, it’s got a villain, it’s got high stakes and a dramatic climax and a happy ending. It’s a proper story, and it gets more attention than I’ve ever received before.

Shortly after finishing that fanfic, a boy finally, finally asks me out on a date. I’m in high school, and we have our first kiss on a spot on my street where my parents won’t be able to see from the window. The snow falls around us, and everything is perfect. There’s a paradigm shift, and suddenly the real world is where I want to be. I don’t think much about fanfic; the characters who stood at my back begin to fade from existence. For just over a year, I live out every chaste fantasy I had seeded and nurtured through fanfics, until my heart is abruptly broken.

After that, I’m alone for a very long time. I have no joy; I have no energy. There are voices whispering to me how worthless I am, how this hurt will never go away. I live out humiliating moment after humiliating moment as if in slow motion, ruining friendships in my wake, unable to keep my head above the treacherous waters in my heart. My final semester of high school is a cruel hell, and I can’t wait for it to be over. When it is, I sign up for a summer trip overseas, where no one knows me; I cut my hair dramatically short and dye it purple. I’m enrolled in university next year, and I’m determined that no one will ever know about this version of me, this pitiful heartbroken thing, this failed attempt at existing. I can remake myself anew. I can change. During that first year of college, I discover new music and books and movies that I never knew existed. I write a single fanfic for Criminal Minds, aping the writing style of Chuck Palahniuk, because I love how he uses the present tense and repeated motifs to bring poetry to even his most horrifying ideas. My pen name is my first name and a generic nom de plume surname, because part of me wants to stretch plausible deniability and own this work I’ve created, because it’s really fucking good, actually. This is me now; I am new, and my writing is different. More grown-up. Less focused on romance. But the fire isn’t there the way it used to be; I love Criminal Minds, but the characters don’t inhabit me the way the Gundam pilots did. They don’t whisper in my ear or put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. And as my university experience continues, I think that maybe I don’t need it anymore. It was never mine in the first place, after all; I was always only ever borrowing it.

I fall in love again; I get my heart broken again. I move to a whole new city; I dye my hair each time I feel that this current version of myself has failed. I remake my identity over and over, exploring new hobbies and new passions. I write essays instead of stories; I do critical examinations instead of developing headcanons. I think I start to grow up.

4. Fog

I’m twenty-four, and I’m exhausted. I’ve been exhausted for nearly a year. I have a good job as a professional writer, and a good apartment and a good life; but I haven’t been able to stay awake. My family and my partner have no help for me, only gently condescending suggestions that maybe I’m being a little bit dramatic. I’ve watched my life shrink slowly, piece by piece: I stop watching movies because I can’t stay awake long enough to focus. I stop visiting friends after 9pm because I’m so tired. I stop knitting, and I can’t even remember why. I can’t pull myself out of this fog in my brain, no matter what I do. And it’s only after my relationship has fallen apart that I finally, desperately, humbly, miserably wonder if I might have depression.

The road back is hard, and it leaves permanent damage. The medication messes with my body and my brain; I learn to celebrate small victories, like making it through one day at work without crying. I slowly start to put myself back together, and I start watching Supernatural because I’ve heard good things about it. I realize I want to write and read again; now I have the benefit of several years of adulthood and a career working with words, and I can write stories with sex and violence in them and start to dig into the craft, the art, the intricacy of language. I start to shyly slide towards slash fiction for the first time in my life, no longer terrified of queer love stories the way I was as a youth. I’ve already put myself back in the closet, convinced that my trying to date women was just as much a phase as my time immersed in Escaflowne or Criminal Minds: that my participation came with a disclaimer, marking my status as a mere tourist. This isn’t mine. I don’t own it.

I slave over 25,000 words of a fanfic that gets less than 500 hits. I creatively bankrupt myself trying and failing to match my own expectations, and I’m still too shy to write gay romance on my own. My pen name is that same generic nom de plume from my last iteration as an author, now with a new first name stolen wholesale from one of my favourite indie songs. The fanfic world has changed in my absence; there’s a whole new site where people publish their stories, and people don’t read WIPs anymore. No one does disclaimers anymore either, because by now it’s understood: this isn’t mine. And yet, somehow, the sense of ownership has grown too. Writing fanfic is no longer something that people seem to be ashamed of. Authors have followings; there are recommendation blogs and fan conventions. Supernatural is my first taste of writing fanfic as an adult, and I love it, but something’s not right. The market is saturated; the show is, honestly, winding down in quality. That overwhelming tide of emotion fades faster than it ever did before, and I find myself at a crossroads: I can either stick around and scramble for the last droplets of joy until the landscape goes barren and dead, or I can close the door and move on, concluding that chapter of my life on my own terms. I choose to do the latter, and I recognize my time in the fandom for what it was: a coping mechanism. A lifeline. A buoy tossed into the water in the nick of time. It wasn’t truly mine; I was too late to the party, and the gravitational pull did not last very long. But it gives me momentum, a slingshot boost, into a new job and a new relationship and new ambitions. I get into graduate school; I move cities again. I’ve never been more adult than I am right now. Maybe, I think. Maybe this is what’s meant to be mine.

5. An Explosion of Colour

I’m twenty-seven, and the world has just cracked apart.

I began my second year of grad school with the news that I was being given three academic awards, only one of which I applied for. The other two were granted to me for having the top grades in my cohort in my first year. I’m literally top of my class, and my first instinct is sheer terror. I’m convinced my classmates will hate me for stealing their thunder; I’m nauseous at the thought of the expectations that now lie on my shoulders as I start this new round of classes. No, I think. This can’t possibly be mine.

I struggle through four brutally difficult courses and a brutally difficult winter. An election in another country shatters everyone’s hearts, and I make use of the accommodations I put in place just in case my depression came back. I write my last essays in coffee shops hushed by this pervasive feeling of abrupt loss and shocked grief, the world already dark by late afternoon. I can’t eat without crying. I can’t do anything without crying. I’ve lived in triage mode for weeks; I’m just trying to survive.

I hand in my final essay of the semester on a cold day in early December, proofreading it by the light of my SAD lamp. I realize that I have time and space and energy now to consume something new, to watch a show I’ve never watched before. I put up a poll on Twitter with four options: a Netflix historical drama, a groundbreaking crime show with POC characters, a goofy musical comedy, and an anime that I know nothing about except that it’s apparently pretty queer, and my friends really love it. The votes favour the final choice. So I sit on my couch, and I put on my headphones, and I press Play.

The world explodes into colour.

I don’t remember the details of every moment of that first time I watched the ten episodes which existed at the time. I don’t remember my exact reaction to the kiss in episode 7, or the proposal in episode 10. I don’t remember how it felt to realize that Yuuri was just like me, a high-achieving impostor, convinced of failure despite being such an obvious talent. I don’t know exactly when it clicked that maybe I was an unreliable narrator too.

But my heart is racing, thudding against my ribs so powerfully I can feel it. There’s this soaring feeling every time I watch the opening credits, and every single frame is the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I stay up until 2am to finish watching, and tossing and turning all night after that, too excited to sleep. I want to laugh and cry and lie down on the floor and melt into a puddle. I want to shatter into a million pieces because the feeling in my heart is so strong, so intense, so overwhelming, that I can’t hold it all in without completely falling apart. I watch the show a second time the next day, and the feeling only gets stronger. I sit on my couch and listen to “History Maker” and stare at the spot on my wall where I want to hang the art I’ve already commissioned, and I feel this part of myself wake up again. I didn’t even know it was still alive.

The next night I write 1900 words, a character sketch of Victor. I love him and Yuuri so much that I want to learn everything about them, to dive into all the intricacies of their personalities; I see so much of myself in both of them. I come up with a new pen name on the fly; I’ve always liked the idea of stars and planets that don’t have a home galaxy and wander through the universe in the dark. I rework my old AO3 profile and change my Tumblr URL. I hit Post. This time, I don’t write a disclaimer; my time in Supernatural cured me of the habit.

I already know, with great and tragic clarity, that this isn’t mine. But this time, I’m twenty-seven, and my emotional regulation capabilities are quite a bit better than they were at thirteen, and I’m starting to think that maybe it’s okay.

I remember all my past loves, how I would wake up to find that the passion had faded and the feeling was gone. I remember how devastated I always was. I look at the state of the world, and the state of myself, and I think: I don’t know how long this feeling is going to last, but I’m going to love every single moment until it’s gone. I hope against hope that this joy, this pull, this gravity, will last even one single year. One year of this untethered, freewheeling happiness and light, after over fifteen years of sitting in the dark. That’s all I can dare to ask. Please, I beg. Please let me have this. Let me pretend. Let it be mine, just for a little while. And then I’ll let it go.

6. Star

I’m twenty-nine. I’ve graduated with my master’s degree; my partner has moved in with me. I’ve got a job in my chosen career, right out of school. And I’m still here.

Yuri on Ice has made the past two years remarkable. It has given me so many good memories to lighten the darkness of the world. I’ve embraced my skills and challenged myself to do new things; to explore the erotic, the horrifying, the experimental, the comedic. I reframe my own neuroses through Yuuri’s intense and unbearably public anxiety, and my own depression through Victor’s quiet subtle sadness. I announce to the world that I love this show so much that I’m writing stories about it; I’m not ashamed anymore. I explore this new facet of myself that now has a name and a friend group and a community. I come to terms with my own sexual orientation by interacting with this undeniable and uncompromising and unapologetically queer romance. I create things that I’m intensely proud of, and I get feedback that carries me through even the darkest of days. The one-year anniversary of my reawakening passes, and I keep writing. I keep writing. I keep writing.

This is the gift of fan fiction. This has been the gift of Yuri on Ice, which debuted two years ago on this day. It’s not mine, but at the same time it is. I get to share in it, because it’s not borrowed; it’s communal.

For years I thought that maybe this feeling, this gravity, was simply a part of childhood that disappeared as you grew older, like baby teeth. All that time I was treading water, dysthymia whispering in my ear that this was just what being an adult was like: that the joy just didn’t happen anymore. Telling me that once you had a job and rent, you could no longer be bowled over by your love for something, and that that was normal. That a piece of media could no longer reach inside you and spark your imagination and fan the flame until it roared, and that was just the way things went. And I believed it, for the longest time. I thought I was alone.

Over my shoulder I can sense my old friends, from my very first fandoms. I look back and I can see them smiling. They are the wisps of a nebula, stellar remnants from previous explosions, now illuminated by a new source of light. They never disappeared; they were just in the dark. They helped me to love myself when I thought such a thing was impossible; they helped me see the best parts of who I was and who I am.

Yuuri and Victor aren’t part of that group of silent guardians; they’re out ahead of me, having adventures, leading me to follow, to chase and document and imagine and write it all down. They’re a present that I get to enjoy again and again; they’re a gift that I can give, over and over. Every word is an act of love; for myself, for the work that Kubo et al created, and for the others who share this joy. Each day I get to be this person, to have this name, to celebrate this piece of myself that’s still wholly me and no one else, and who is loved for exactly who she is. I’m not spiraling into the gravity well anymore; I’m orbiting, running as fast as I’m falling, enjoying sunrise after sunrise.

Yuri on Ice doesn’t belong to me. But this is mine.

[pervincetosscobble]

finished my young justice rewatch here are some Thoughts And Feelings (this is a very long post sorry to mobile users)

let me begin this post by saying bart allen is my one and only true ultimate favorite, and also if you’ve ever wanted to see (um, hear) me cry you can do that now thanks to bart allen

i was surprised by how much some of my opinions/faves changed tbh? i was. god, i was 13 the first time this show aired and 15 when it ended, so it tracks that now, 4-6 years later (???!?!?!?!?) things won’t be the same, but some changes were. significant

i’m adopting conner, for starters

conner loves sociology. pry this headcanon from my cold dead hands, motherfuckers

conner also knows a lot of really weird pieces of trivia

conner was a good student but also didn’t care about school

i remember not being really into conner/m’gann the first time around but i was kind of taken in by them in s1? these two kids trying to find their home in a world that wasn’t made for them.

conner and m’gann had a lot of date nights themed around Get To Know Earth Culture

some of these involved bioship travels and, like, day trips to paris just because they could

some of these were like. improv lessons and pottery classes.

i’m also still not super happy about the hints that they get back together post-s2. like. i hope they become friends again, that’d be good, but i refuse to believe conner would be okay with dating her again after what she did the first time.

point that has only just occurred to me: in the beginning of s1 conner is vastly uncomfortable with telepaths. by the end he’s totally okay with it because of m’gann. and i’d bet money there’s a point somewhere mid-timeskip where, because of her, he was no longer okay with them anymore.

one the note of the timeskip: five years seems RIDICULOUSLY long to me, especially considering that every plot-significant change happened “in the last few months.” like, what was the goal? aging dick up to nightwing? five years is SO MUCH missing lore, so many stories they could’ve fleshed out. make it two years. hell, if two is a squeeze, i could’ve gone for three. but five years?? nah, dude.

the best thing about the timeskip was domestic wally/artemis, which, like, i was totally enamored with them, so much, and their relationship development, and everything about them

i also liked kaldur’s character a lot more this time around, although i’ve got to say i’m not wild about them basically fridging tula?? (i’ll admit to not being super familiar with aquafam lore, so i don’t know how true to the comics that is, but they didn’t have to do it in the show) like, i know that it turns out he didn’t really go mad with manpain grief and turn evil, but i think there’s an equally powerful story in tula being injured and recovering in a world where she thinks kaldur abandoned her, in kaldur having to lie to her face instead of using her memory as justification

in general i think s2 could’ve benefitted from some trimming? i love all the freshmen, i really do, but it wouldn’t have been the worst thing if there were a few less of them.

alternately - and i know, networks and whatever - if s2 had been two seasons, or even had half a dozen more episodes, i think it would’ve benefitted from that, too

gotta say, the light gets old real fast. or at least, like, the whole “everything got super fucked” “no, everything went exactly as we planned it” things. like, you’re telling me the team never once threw them a curveball. never. really

13yo dick’s shenanigans and wordplay were a lot funnier when i was 13

now that i am an adult i feel..... a little more skeevy about canon-era jaime/bart than i did when i was 15 and i actually knew 13-year-olds who were dating 16-year-olds and saw nothing wrong with it? but i maintain that they have a solid friendship and definitely end up dating once they’re in their twenties

zatanna is my hero

this show vastly, vastly underutilized raquel. it’s a damn shame.

you know who else was great? mal. mal definitely saves puppies in his spare time and knows three languages and at least seven forms of martial arts and every teammate’s abilities and fears and favorite colors and everything there is to know about karen

artemis/zatanna is good

you know how jade just showed up and was like “yo roy look at our daughter”?? i like the idea of jade just, like, casually dropping lian’s existence into daily conversation.

“i miss alcohol now that i’m pregnant,” jade says. artemis chokes.

“this mission can’t take too long, i told the babysitter i’d be back by 9,” cheshire says. “the what,” sportsmaster shouts.

i still ADORE the runaway team, including og!roy, and man, i didn’t come out of this rewatch shipping a lot, but i love the idea of the runaway squad being kind of a tangled poly mess. ed is dating roy and asami, tye is dating asami and virgil, asami loves all her boys and understands why roy isn’t interested, etc.

like this fic for the disney film descendants

but also, like, in general, i really fucking love these kids

this show has a lot of really weird dad plots, which is strange for me bc my dad and i used to text after every episode, but also in general it’s interesting seeing the vast range of potential dads. for instance:

clark “i didn’t ask to be a dad” kent, who eventually transitions into an apparently passable dad? it’s not clear

black manta, who is morally a shitheel but also one of the most supportive dads on this show

barry, who definitely wanted to be more of an uncle than a dad

lex, who wanted to buy his genetically-experimented kids’ love

ollie, who really had a hell of a time

and of course dinah, who is the best mom and probably the best parent on the entire damn show

(also bruce, who didn’t do much dadding, but damn if i didn’t tear up at him talking to dick/tim/babs before he left earth)

gar logan is the team’s adoptive little brother. all of them, but especially the original six. and probably also zatanna and rocket.

i’d be able to go into more detail if we had more goddamn information about who joined the team when, which we don’t, because five year timeskip

but anyways since gar and m’gann are pseudo-siblings they’re closest, and then gar also loves conner, because who wouldn’t love their sister’s cool boyfriend?

conner is overwhelmed and kind of pleased by this

after conner and m’gann broke up gar was very worried that his sister’s cool ex-boyfriend wouldn’t want to hang around him anymore

conner did. conner and gar are basically brothers.

gar loves the entire original team, period

also i wanna throw it out there: ik there was a show-specific comic tie-in. i have read none of it. so if i say anything that doesn’t mesh with that it’s because i don’t care a ton about the comics? the show is probably better anyways

god i think that’s just about everything? so to wrap up this extremely long post i’m gonna go out of bulletpoint style here

i’m excited for s3! i really am. i can’t wait to see what they do with it. but also i’ve been convinced since i was 15 that the very last scene, with darksied and apokalips (which i deffo just spelled wrong but anyways), that scene only exists bc the producers were like “fuck it, we’re getting cancelled, might as well go all in” and just threw garbage in to make it seem like there was a conspiracy

like, this is a deep cut here, but there’s an episode of phineas and ferb that ended with a “next time” that was a series of nonsensical dramatic scenes, and then they tried to make an episode out of it and it was basically gibberish, and i’m really concerned that’s what’s going to happen here

but tldr i did enjoy this show a lot, and i’m glad i had the chance to rewatch it, and if anyone has their own thoughts to share y’all are welcome to hit me up!!

[purpleyin]

The Flash rewatch thoughts - 1x03

Continuing my Flash rewatch with 1x03. Random thoughts from rewatching these eps, though beware spoilers for all seasons because it’s ponderings based on having seen it all (up to 4x09) and then rewatching so there will be spoilery comments below. And yes, apparently have a lot of commentary on episodes.

- If Barry has opinions on zombie movie scale then I need a team flash zombie marathon fic.

- Also, the flash, if zombified would be terrifying. But I am not clear based on canon if Barry experiences viruses on a faster scale, like over them in a day or matter of hours, or not at all. After all his healing isn't just faster but he seems to also heal from stuff others wouldn't, like the broken back in 2x07, so it's unclear. If viruses can affect him then it could make for a really tense team fic where someone tries to use Barry as a disease vector and they have to restrain and attempt to cure him in a quarantine.

- Iris is so right, Barry nerding out about real life zombie-like parasites is so cute.

- Are keys really that easy to snap off when he breaks the one in the restaurant lock or is The Mist really strong too?

- I don't even get why that one guy shoots the previously mentioned bulletproof glass. Surely going to the door would make more sense, or the back door, any other possible exit as more likely to yield than the one you know is resistant to your weapon.

- If he's choking people with essentially himself, and there's traces of his dna in victims lungs, is he losing a bit of his mass with each victim. Does that regenerate or does it actually dimish him?

- Woo for CSI Barry! I do miss that, we got much less in other seasons of this Barry. Although he really needs a filter on his mouth for when he says implausible ideas that only make sense if you know about metahumans. Trading it off as just a joke thought will only work for so long around Eddie.

- The whole team geeking out about just how the powers work is awesome. SCIENCE LOVE! I really wanted more of that about Multiplex.

- I still wonder what Caitlin's role was at S.T.A.R. Labs as a bioengineer involved in the particle accelorator. Something to do with experiments in her field once they get it going? Unless I am missing something about what bioengineers do then it seems odd as what did she do related to the construction of it, something due to tolerances and safety for people around it? I actually really don't know, hoping someone can explain what she might be doing on the project.

- Also feels odd that she was meant to be at the switch on and Ronnie wasn't. Was that Wells trying to control things or some other reason, because surely having the structural engineer there would make sense and surely Ronnie would want to see the switch on too.

- Can't tell if Wells is oblivious or unsympathetic to her discomfort about the pipeline usage. At least Barry is perceptive enough to see and give her an out that is an option he presents.

- I guess Caitlin never got to go to Taihiti and might not be able to stomach going in future now.

- The flashbacks make it look like things went wrong pretty quick with particule accelerator, the bang being within minutes as they pop the champagne, and Ronnie giving Cisco only 2 minutes before shutting him in. I thought another ep mentioned it was on for 45 minutes before it exploded but can't remember which I thought that was from... I guess they might have cut out time they did a lot of tests and troubleshooting to figure out the why, so then it just looks condensed from when it started to the explosion.

- LOL to Eobard's comment about feeling like he waited centuries. Don't know how old he is at this point but 15 years probably feels a long time for a speedster.

- Why did the champagne float? That was a thing that seemed to happen around Eobard, Wells' murdered body, when Eobard was in the Allen's house. It certainly signals bad things. I don't know what the precise cause is if not dark matter? Have a feelng Cisco had an explanation for the Wells murder site one later but I forget.

- Wonder what Caitlin thinks of how people treat Barry at CCPD, him being downtrodden labrat and seen as sort of unreliable with lateness. I feel there is a fic in that somewhere, contrast with how he is at S.T.A.R. Labs.

- I can't quite tell when she tells Cpt. Singh about being Barry's personal physician if she's annoyed at having to tell people that. It's not really a lie given what she does for him but I doubt she had that in mind as a job when she joined S.T.A.R. Labs, even if Barry is a metahuman with much more interesting biology going on. For that matter do people find it strange he has a personal physician, from S.T.A.R. Labs no less, or do they just shrug it off as oh he got hit by lighting so it makes sense.

- Painful as it was to see Caitlin talk about Ronnie, feels a nice getting to know each other and Caitlin starting to deal with feelings scene to have Barry ask her about what Ronnie was like.

- Well they have Barry almost 100 percentage parrot the same line to Cait in his lab as Ronnie did before he left to go save everyone. Even if she barely knows Barry, who is eminently likable and already trying to befriend her, having the constant reminder of someone you know running into danger, to save others, must be hard for her. No wonder that dynamic blows up in the episode with Bivolo and the rage. In that way I guess Barry being around is forcing her character to come to terms with things she might have been avoiding about how Ronnie died.

- Metahumans make being in law enforcement and the judiciary system (not to mention bank tellers and shop assistants) much more risky given how many metas turn to crime or want payback for being arrested.

- Interesting to see The Mist can partially take form as he seems to punch Barry with only his hand reformed and the rest of him misty.

- How did Caitlin get back to Star labs that fast, she does run in after Cisco and Wells have Barry on the gurney but the whole confrontation with The Mist didn't take Barry more than a few minutes and presumably little to get there, longer to get back to the labs though if he can't breathe well. She sure got across town relatively fast. No idea how far CCPD is from S.T.A.R. labs.

- Totally want more fic, hurt/comfort of course, about all the painful stuff Barry ends up enduring. He's just yep do the lung biopsy without anaesthetic.

- When he wakes up he tries to lighten the mood, like he's more concerned about how Caitlin is worried, especially I guess after the Ronnie conversation, than how he feels physically. Probably helps that he knows he should get better, that must make it a bit easier when you can rely on your body to heal and heal fast too.

- LOL at Eobards 'you should be resting' to Barry. The one person Eobard can't stop from screwing up his plans is Barry, early on Barry is the biggest threat to himself I swear.

- Iris has never had a serious boyfriend, much like Barry hadn't had a serious girlfriend I think got mentioned in another episode. That definitely does feel like maybe Iris wasn't oblivious but willfully in denial of Barry's feeling. But I like Eddie, him and Iris are cute. I really wanted more Eddie than we get of him in S1. He spends a lot of his time frustrated at people related to secrets he has to keep.

- Aw to Caitlin still wearing her engagement ring! And apparently the treadmill room is the alone time kind of room at S.T.A.R. Labs. Well, the pipeline probably is later in the series but not for Caitlin right now certainly. Barry sure is good at knowing when conversation need to happen. I really like the pipeline solidarity plan. Woo for Barry/Caitlin friendship scenes.

- Reminds me Cisco and Caitlin were in same area when it all went down, so why is only Cisco affected metahuman wise? I know S3 has that changed but S2 definitely shows she doesn't show on Harry's detector and so it makes me wonder what exactly changed that meant she was affected in the altered timeline. Part of me wondered if Savitar did it to her as Flashpoint supposedly also created him and he'd been meddling with history definitely.

- Caitlin really looked like she could do with the hug Barry offers, it gets interuppted pretty fast by Cisco though. More hugs for Caitlin, she clearly needs them.

- Wondering what Eddie thinks of Joe working the old case of Barry's dad's, if he is aware. Must be alot of times when Eddie wonders what the hell is going on around the station with Joe.

- Good thing Barry wasn't evil if he's been figuring out how to break people out of Iron Heights since he was 11. Which raises a good question re S3, Savitar broke into the metahuman wing to kill the Rival, but he never broke anyone out even though most likely he could. Gotta figure he was disappointed by earlier recruiting attempts, or simply those had to happened because he remembered they did (ugh time loop logic) and then mostly only interested in recruiting Killer Frost to feel less lonely maybe and/or deprive the team of Caitlin.

- Can't tell if Henry Allen recognise Barry, but he is a smart man and certainly he knows something odd is going on based on Joe's turn around on his case.

- One hell of long road to Iron Heights, conveniently for the tiring Nimbus out without casualties. I don't think until now I'd realise he jail must be somewhere between Star City and Central City, certainly not in either.

- I do like that Joe knew about Iris/Eddie. Also when Patty could tell Barry couldn't see in another episode. Don't go underestimating these detectives. I suspect Eddie might have been better at figuring out something odd was going on with Joe and Barry, if not for being preoccupied hiding his own secret at the start of this season.

- Can't say I like the trope of overprotective dad with a gun joking about killing guy who is dating his daughter. Even if it's meant as a fauxthreat, and him being it a cop, it don't sit right with me. I get him being mad about them not telling him and about how it complicates matters, but don't like that part of how it's expressed.

- So the holdng cells are powered by a feck off massive electromagnet. Surely at some point someone with powers is gonna somehow be able to combat that if they can have a stronger magnetic force. Not likely but not impossible either given some of the outlandish things metahumans can do.

- Also the cells now have a mechanism to retract across the walkway back into the wall...was that there before and simply not shown? (as they were shown in the walls of the pipeline earlier in the episode, across from the walkway) Otherwise that's quite the engineering change to suddenly come up with in a short time.

- I know Cisco and Caitlin go out to get icecream after the ‘icecream or a drink, whichever we find first’ comment, but I do want to read an icecream or drink fanfic episode tag for some other time. Reminds me we never see a canteen on show, but the labs must have one. Headcanon that they start stocking loads of frozen foods just so Barry has plenty to come eat when he gets back. If the answer on another occasion was there's no icecream because Barry ate it all that'd amuse me, where as drink don't do anything for him so there’s probably some around in someones bottom draw. There's something about the idea that Cisco might've found and saved Ronnie's old stash of something to drink in tribute to him that I like.

- End scene Eobard!Wells has drink at the labs but clearly he wasn't sharing.

- Ah the creepy precursor to all the cameras spying with the flashback to his spying Barry in his lab. Just how long has Eobard been spying on Barry, has he been watching / “protecting“ him his whole life? Is that why he ends up being almost fond of Barry, almost like Lima syndrome.

[itcamefromblog]

WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES arrives in theaters this week, and I am extremely excited for this third entry in the rebooted APES series. The quality storytelling in both RISE and DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES unexpectedly raised the bar for the almost 50-year-old franchise, and a recent rewatch of DAWN reminded me of how these new films are packed with emotion and intelligence, making the onscreen stakes and conflicts that play out much more compelling.

In the capable hands of director Matt Reeves and motion-capture star Andy Serkis as Caesar, I’d gladly watch more new APES films by 20th Century Fox to see just where the narrative will take us and how closely it will skew to the original franchise storyline.

And, please, just give Andy Serkis an Oscar nomination already, if not a special award. The man who gave us Gollum is a pioneer in the mo-cap arena of special effects and his performances have consistently given heart and soul to every character he has portrayed, especially Caesar. Perhaps this year the Motion Picture Academy will recognize that CGI performances are more than just pixels; they’re people.

My PLANET OF THE APES experience dates back to my childhood in the ’70s. Growing up in the suburbs of New York City, I used to watch THE 4:30 MOVIE weekdays on WABC Channel 7. The genre-film programming on this local station was stellar, with theme weeks dominating the line-up such as Monster Week, Vincent Price Week, Edgar Allen Poe Week, Sci-Fi Week, Lost World Week, and, of course, PLANET OF THE APES Week.

  THE 4:30 MOVIE had a 90-minute timeslot and so the films shown were often heavily edited. PLANET OF THE APES always got special treatment as a two-parter, while BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES, ESCAPE FROM THE PLANET OF THE APES, and CONQUEST OF THE PLANET OF THE APES would fill out the other three days of Ape Week. BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES would usually be relegated to another theme week, like Sci-Fi Week, and play alongside such films as FANTASTIC VOYAGE and the similar Charlton Heston dystopian classics SOYLENT GREEN and THE OMEGA MAN. 

Ape Fever was strong in the early ’70s, and I was very much caught up in it. I read the Pierre Boulle novel and wondered why it was so different from the films. I watched the short-lived PLANET OF THE APES TV series first-run in 1974 and caught every episode of the Saturday morning animated cartoon series RETURN TO THE PLANET OF THE APES the following year. I owned several of the Mego eight-inch action figures, including Cornelius, Zira, Soldier Ape, Alan Verdon, and “Astronaut,” which really felt like a rehashed “Action Jackson” figure. I coveted the many other Mego APES playsets and accessories, like that awesome Apes Treehouse with the flip-action secret weapons bench and “Detention Pen,” and that Apes Fortress with the “Sun Reflector” at the top. I also wanted that Mattel Rapid-Fire Rifle with Ape Mask set that sat on the shelf at the toy store, beckoning, but my mom wasn’t too keen to see me running around with a gun and a horrid rubber mask.

**serious plot spoilers below for those folks who have never seen the original PLANET OF THE APES series**

Simply put, I’m a huge fan of the original APES films (save for BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES, which always felt like an afterthought that never quite fit with the first four films in the series). Watched in order, APES, BENEATH, ESCAPE, and CONQUEST transported me into my first futuristic wasteland cinematically, left me gobsmacked when Taylor realized that he was on Earth and not some crazy Ape-run planet (“You maniacs! You blew it up! Aww, damn you! God damn you all to hell!”), and then ultimately delivered a narrative time-loop paradox that blew my kiddie mind when Roddy McDowall, as Caesar in the final burning frames of CONQUEST, promised “the birth of the Planet of the Apes!”

As far as pure Sci-Fi goes, BENEATH remains my favorite of all APES films thanks to the post-apocalyptic New York underground setting, the telepathic mutants, their warped worship of a planet-killing bomb, and the generous screen time devoted to the beautiful Linda Harrison as Nova. The character of Nova was one of my earliest onscreen crushes and the fact that I got to see her continued storyline — as well as more time in that primitive, revealing costume — and shockingly hear her speak, sealed the deal for me.

I could go on and on about PLANET OF THE APES, but I’ll keep it brief. Given my appreciation of and minor obsession with Lobby Cards, I’ve assembled a batch from all five original PLANET OF THE APES films below, hailing from a few different countries. Enjoy!

A little background info on lobby cards I like to regularly share for context: Back in the days before the Internet, movie lobby cards were a powerful tool used by Hollywood studios to lure audiences into the darkened theater. They were the last line of enticement — and sometimes the first — alongside carpet-bombing consumers with coming attractions, movie posters, marquees, publicity stunts, movie program books, and newspaper advertisements for their newest big-screen sensation. With no entertainment websites or blogs available to tease audiences with stills from their films, lobby cards served that purpose for the studio publicity machine. These days, movie theater lobbies have eschewed the traditional lobby card for posters, standees, trailers on repeat, experiential activations and more.

  More Lobby Cards to ogle:

Ridley Scott’s ALIEN Lobby Cards from 1979

YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE James Bond Lobby Cards from 1967

THE SPY WHO LOVED ME James Bond Lobby Cards from 1977

Original STAR WARS lobby cards from 1977

JAWS franchise lobby cards

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    Go Ape! with Primitive ‘Planet of the Apes’ Lobby Cards & More Mutant Memories WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES arrives in theaters this week, and I am extremely excited for this third entry in the…

[thejoeydavis]

Movies of 2016

(I’m posting this late but for archival purposes I’m putting it here)

Every January I do a list of all the movies I watched over the past year in chronological order and this,, as you can tell,, is that list. Each movie is rated out of 10 and rounded to the nearest whole number for simplicity and because I use the letterboxd app to log all my movies and it uses a 5 star system. These number ratings are meant to be as objective as possible, which means they’re judged on commonly agreed upon film conventions and what most critics and kinophiles would consider to be “good film,” as pretentious as that sounds. Really it just means I went with my gut feeling and then considered technical aspects and effectiveness on all of these. Paired with each are some thoughts to talk about what I liked or disliked, how it made me feel, etc. I’ll try to keep it short on as many as I can since there are so many. tl;dr: top 10 is at the bottom

Anomalisa – 7 – a predictably depressing Charlie Kaufman film about loneliness and being human—somewhat ironic considering it’s a stop motion film. Don’t let the puppets with 3d printed faces fool you; this is a very human movie with one of the most realistic sex scenes ever captured on film. Probably don’t see this with your mom like I did.

Inside Llewyn Davis – 8 – one of my favorite movies of the past few years and one of my top Coen bros movies. The charismatic but dickish performance by Oscar Isaac and beautiful folk soundtrack depicts a hard life for a musician in early 1960s New York that will make you feel better about yourself (unless you’re a musician).

 Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl – 8 – also one of my favorite movies of the past few years, this love letter to classic film by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon is a beautiful story of a popular kid in high school who befriends a girl with terminal cancer. Essentially Perks of Being a Wallflower meets criterion collection.

Project X – 7 – one of my guilty pleasure movies. Lots of fun.

 The Hateful Eight (70mm) – 6 – I got to see this in 70mm complete with preshow overture and intermission and it was an incredible experience. I loved the movie but it’s not Tarantino’s best by any stretch. Note the huge disparity in rating from last year when I gave it a 9.2. This film is not a 9.2.

 The Forest – 3 – in this movie Natalie Dormer goes to the Japanese suicide forest to search for her sister who went missing. Suicide is a very apt theme here considering how heavily I considered ending my life during this movie. Truly awful.

 Carol – 6 – one of those movies that I know is good but I just didn’t enjoy. It’s about Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett as they try to hide their forbidden romantic relationship in 1950s New York. Long, slow, but very pretty and touching, I’d recommend it if you like character driven stories—especially ones about LGBT issues because it’s very good in that regard.

 Hail, Caesar – 7 – underrated mystery film by the Coen’s about old Hollywood and communists. More along the lines of the Big Lebowski than No Country For Old Men. Just a really fun movie with a great sense of world building that makes 1930s Hollywood really come alive.

 Deadpool – 7 – pretty funny and exactly the kind of movie Ryan Reynolds and fans wanted. Probably the only good Marvel movie made by Fox.

 The Witch – 8 – a visceral and disturbing film about a cursed life in 1600s New England, The Witch (stylized as The VVitch) is one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen. Be warned though, it’s the definition of slow burn horror so you’ll probably dislike it if you’re used to modern horror films.

 10 Cloverfield Lane – 7 – one of the big surprises of the year and also one of the most thrilling, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Goodman both give excellent performances. It’s basically a bottle episode completely unrelated to the first film. People have criticized Winstead’s character for her actions at the end but it completes her character arc perfectly so it definitely works.

 Room – 8 – beautiful film. Somewhat overrated.

 Brooklyn – 8 – one of my favorites from 2015 and immensely enjoyable from start to finish. This story of an Irish girl moving to Brooklyn shows that the conflict doesn’t have to be high stakes for it to be compelling.

 Batman v Superman – 4 – wow surprise surprise, Zack Snyder made another shit movie. Awful film full of clichés and nonsensical dialogue, bizarre editing, and the incredibly moronic decision to try and kickstart an entire cinematic universe in a dreadfully painful 2+ hour runtime. This movie sucks and DC needs to either hire some competent scriptwriters and directors or just give up already.

 Zootopia – 7 – ah the quintessential furry movie 2016. I really enjoyed this and it has great rewatch value. One of the most beautifully animated movies of the year.

 Midnight Special – 6 – I had no expectations for this movie and I was pleasantly surprised by it, although somewhat let down by the ending. It’s an interesting story about a kid with unknown supernatural powers being smuggled to a specific coordinates where he says something will happen. The mystery unfolds throughout the run time and there are some pretty cool scenes. Fun sci-fi to rent maybe.

 Midnight in Paris – 7 – 1920s Paris is arguably one of the best eras to be alive in and Woody Allen captures the magic of the period well. As with most modern Woody Allen films it’s pretty cheesy—especially the modern day scenes—but the scenes that take place in the 1920s with F Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, and Picasso are truly a delight. One of my favorite movies from 2011.

 Captain America Civil War – 7 – not bad but much worse than Winter Soldier. It was enjoyable at least and miles ahead of Avengers 2.

 Green Room – 8 – a disturbing, white-knuckle rollercoaster of a film that follows a punk band as they fight off a bar full of alt-righ—I mean neo-nazis. An absolute must-see.

 The Nice Guys – 7 – fun from start to finish, Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe give two funny and over the top performances in this 1970s period film about two detectives who get caught up in a case that’s way over their heads. Definite recommendation. Crowe’s performance in the first third/half or so is very melodramatic and over the top cool-guy but I believe it was intended to be tongue in cheek so don’t let it throw you.

 The Jungle Book – 6 – not bad.

 Raiders of the Lost Ark – 9 – a near perfect movie and one of, if not the best action movie of all time.

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 Make Happy – 8 – Bo Burnham tweeted about a special premiere screening of his new special back in March so I bought tickets and went with Andrew to see it. We went to the Largo in West Hollywood and were treated to a short comedy show and the grand premiere of Make Happy, Bo’s last one-man show for the foreseeable future. It was an incredible experience.

 The World of Tomorrow – 8 – it’s only 16 minutes and it’s by Don Herzfeldt—what’s not to love? Get ready for an existential crisis.

 The Conjuring 2 – 7 – pretty spooky in some parts with a cool little i spy game you can play with the name of the ghost demon lady. Not as good as the first.

 Finding Dory – 7 – older Pixar films have a certain level of charm that all their films post-Toy Story 3 (barring Monsters University) don’t seem to have and this is no exception. It was very enjoyable but it just felt like it doesn’t have the magic that the old ones have.

 The Shallows – 4 – the amount of praise this movie received was deadass baffling. This is one of the worst movies I’ve seen this year and I don’t see how so many people missed the cliché dialogue and plot, ridiculous shark cgi, exploitative ass shots, and absolutely insane and unrealistic attempts to kill the shark. Critics and audiences comparing this to Jaws is an insult to not only Spielberg, but also the art of filmmaking itself.

 Frances Ha – 9 – one of my favorite movies of all time, this black and white indie film by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig is a cozy tale of solipsistic loneliness, friendship, and following your dreams. It’s depressing, but in a very relatable and reassuring way. Greta Gerwig as the New York dancer Frances is so believable that seeing her in other roles feels almost disingenuous. Honestly if you watch anything on this list you should watch this first, foremost and as soon as possible. It’s on netflix!

 Mistress America – 7 – another one by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig and it was actually my introduction to their work. I loved this movie when I first saw it but it pales in comparison to Frances. Still a great movie with wonderful acting and snappy as hell dialogue. Fun fact: Noah Baumbach worked with Wes Anderson in the past and it shows here, especially in the dialogue.

 The Neon Demon – 8 – one of the most polarizing films of the year but a definite return to form by the near infamous Nicolas Winding Refn. The success of the 2011 masterpiece Drive was not good for Refn’s ego apparently as he followed it up with the nauseatingly self-indulgent Only God Forgives. Thank goodness he was able to find a balance between pure art film and accessible indie film with the Neon Demon. It’s by no means very accessible but the acting, especially from the main girls and a sleazy Keanu Reeves, is great and the visuals are incredibly surreal and v e r y v e r y n e o n . Recommend if you like artsy films with lots of sex and blood.

 Back to the Future – 10 – a textbook example of what a perfect movie looks like.

 It Follows – 8 – nothing but love for this creepy and atmospheric 2015 horror/suspense film about the end of childhood and the impending dread of adulthood. Really it’s about a supernatural shape shifting thing with its “rule” being that acts like an std being passed down through sexual partners. If the thing catches you, it then goes after the previous person in the chain and so on, so the only way to save yourself is to pass it on or run endlessly in futility. Please do see this it’s great.

 The Secret Life of Pets – 6 – a disappointment but Louis CK as a dog was fun to see.

 Hush – 5 – not very good Netflix horror movie about a guy terrorizing a deaf lady at her home in the woods for some reason.

 Snatch – 6 – I suppose if I were more familiar with Guy Ritchie’s work I would’ve enjoyed it more but it looks like it was shot by a Tarantino wannabe edgelord and edited in windows moviemaker. Still entertaining though.

 Horace and Pete – 10 – Horace and Pete is a dramedy web series multi-camera sitcom written, directed, and produced by Louis CK and it’s the single best serial program I’ve ever seen. This is a true masterpiece in every sense and the writing and acting is some of the best in a serial program. It was so good that I actually could not enjoy anything else for days after because everything paled in comparison. For example, I watched Stranger Things the day after I finished this and I had to stop watching three episodes in because it was completely and utterly awful compared to Horace and Pete. The quality of writing is unbelievable and I laughed and cried at many many points. Louis CK, Steve Buscemi, Edie Falco, and Alan Alda, bring career defining performances to the small screen and I cannot wait to watch it again—although I’m not sure I’m prepared for it.

 Breathless (1960) – 7 – one of the most defining films of the French New Wave, this film by Jean Luc-Godard is a love story shot in some of the most unconventional ways I’ve seen in a film. It’s not surreal or weird but it certainly is interesting. Worth a watch if you like the cinematography of Wes Anderson, Woody Allen, or Louis CK—although it’s a much more saturated French New Wave style since all those styles are derivative of this. Has some of the most intriguing and innovative tracking/dolly shots I’ve ever seen. In fact, at one point two characters are walking down the street but they couldn’t afford a dolly for the tracking shot, so they had the cameraman sit in a wheelchair and film while someone pulled him backwards to make the shot. Really that’s what French New Wave is all about: innovating and using filmmaking techniques that were unprecedented at the time.

 Star Trek Beyond – 6 – a really fun return to the franchise that actually felt somewhat like a Star Trek film—unlike that last one. It’s still just an action movie franchise now but it’s just a real good time.

 Lights Out – 3 – again, the praise this film received was COMPLETELY unwarranted and totally baffling. This movie blows and is so saturated with clichés that I can’t imagine liking this film. don’t waste ur time.

 Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates – 5 – actually hilarious movie. Really dumb but so goddamn funny. Zach Efron and Adam Devine are a great duo. Has arguably the best exchange about fisting in the history of film.

 Café Society – 6 – a pretty good modern Woody Allen film. Much better than his last two, Irrational Man and Magic in the Moonlight. It’s nice to see a film from Woody Allen that isn’t about a much older man falling in love with a much younger woman.

 Suicide Squad – 2 – “roses are red/there is no god/my favorite movie?/suicide squad.” – Gideon Ondap deadass one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I wrote a 10 page essay on this after it came out but basically the editing is jarring enough to induce brain trauma, the acting is atrocious, and the script is objectively bad. A complete and utter failure of a film. The name is a warning.

 The Room – 1 – another one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen yet 1000x more enjoyable than Suicide Squad. Tommy Wisseau is a genius and this is his magnum opus. Required viewing. Also I must say that a Suicide Squad/The Room double feature makes for one of the funniest nights of life.

 Scott Pilgrim vs The World – 8 – honestly one of my favorite movies. A super well done adaptation directed by Edgar Wright, this film is able to stand independently next to the already spectacular Scott Pilgrim graphic novel series. The music is incredible. It never gets old.

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 Sausage Party – 5 – obscene, racist, vulgar, and dumb as hell with a giant food orgy at one point. Still laughed at much of it.

 Captain Fantastic – 8 – a dad raising his kids to survive in the wilderness of Washington must bring them into society to attend their dead mother’s funeral. A big surprise and one of the most enjoyable movies I saw this year.

 Don’t Think Twice – 8 – Mike Birbiglia has always been one of my favorite comedians because his stories were so heartwarming, wholesome, and packed to the brim with jokes that would reward you on multiple viewings or listens. Don’t Think Twice is Mike’s second movie I believe, and it’s about an improv group in Brooklyn having fun doing their craft while trying to make a life for themselves. When you’re a comedian/improviser,, your friends are too, but if one of you actually gets a big break then it’s that person’s break and no one else’s. It causes a lot of tension between performers because even though they’re all friends, they’re still actively competing in a highly sought after profession. Judd Apatow came out after he saw the movie and said how accurately it depicts the life of comedy performers. It’s a really depressing (in a relatable way) and realistic take on the competitive world of improv and deals with friendship, comedy, and how cruel life can really be. Beautiful movie.

 American Beauty – 8 – really did not like this the first time but warmed up to it on the second viewing and it really shines despite many dated aspects.

 Antz – 6 – woody allen as a ant oy vey

 Back to the Future II – 5 – pretty bad sequel until he goes back to 1955. Worse than the third tbh

 Everybody Wants Some!! – 7 – even after the abortion that was Boyhood I didn’t give up on Richard Linklater and I’m glad I didn’t. This spiritual sequel to Dazed and Confused (but in the 80s this time!) was a ton of fun.

 Clapping for the Wrong Reasons – 8 – this short film written by Donald Glover and directed by Hiro Murai is about a surreal day in the life of The Boy, a character Donald Glover created as the speaker of his Because the Internet album (his magnum opus imo). Hot take: Chance v Bino push up contest contender for best film scene ever.

 Kubo and the Two Strings – 7 – the most beautiful disappointment of the year. The incredible stop motion animation is unfortunately much more enjoyable than the underwhelming story. Not as good as Coraline.

 Hell or High Water – 8 – the director of photography from Sicario returns for this modern western about two brothers who rob the banks that screwed over their mother. Great performances from Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster, and Chris Pine.

 Don’t Breathe – 7 – this horror film about three thieves who break into an old blind man’s house borders on exploitation film towards the end. Not that bad.

 Blair Witch – 6 – not as bad as everyone said it was. It’s a soft reboot of 99’s Blair Witch Project but with a modern horror twist—which means it relies mainly on jump scares and unnecessary use of found footage tropes rather than atmosphere building and genuine terror. I still thoroughly enjoyed it and thought the last 15 minutes or so were really spooky. The creature design was really great and the way time moved was an interesting horror device. If you liked the first one but were bored by it then you’ll probably like this one because it moves a bit faster although you might be bored by it too. Oh but side note: that drone scene was fucking stupid.

 Over The Garden Wall – 10 – this 10 episode cartoon network animated miniseries aired in the fall of 2014 and follows two boys as they wander through the woods to find their way back home. It stars Elijah Wood, Christopher Lloyd, Melanie Lynskey, John Cleese, Tom Lennon, and Tim Curry among others. The story itself is inspired by Dante Alighieri’s Inferno and the music is inspired by early 20th century Americana folk music. It’s literally the single most charming thing I’ve ever seen and it’s an absolute MUST SEE.

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 Doctor Strange – 7 – not much to say about this one but I liked it. The visuals were top notch and although Dr Strange is basically just Tony Stark pt 2, it makes sense considering how much lesser of a role Stark will play in later movies. I’m really excited for the new Thor movie now.

 The Purge Election Year – 4 – each Purge movie is better than the last and this third installment is still a 4. That’s pretty much all there is to say. There are some legitimately hilarious parts in this though—all unintentional.

 O Brother, Where Art Thou? – 7 – another silly Coen film and one of their most accessible. Good film based on the Odyssey.

 Arrival – 9 – Dennis Villeneuve is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors after last year’s Sicario and now 2016’s Arrival. This is a film about humanity, the complete frivolity of our problems, and how staying divided will be our undoing. The cinematography is breathtaking, the score is great (much of it follows the circle of 5ths, which will make sense after watching), the acting is good, and the film just has a beautiful sense of scope to it. I encourage you to watch this and DON’T WATCH ANY TRAILERS OR READ ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I assure you; you’ll want to go into this as blind as possible (and you should never watch trailers anyway they literally ruin films).  In Trump’s America this movie is even more important so please I urge you to watch this.

 Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – 5 – the Phantom Menace of the Harry Potter universe, Fantastic Beasts has so much exposition and forced world building that anyone who hasn’t seen the first 8 hp films will probably have a tough time figuring out what’s going on. The opening sequence is literally just a montage of newspaper headlines saying how terrible this dark wizard is, which was done in harry potter but over the span of roughly 3 movies rather than 1 minute. Overall positives: the creature designs were fun, Jacob was rad, the humor was effective, the cgi wasn’t /that/ bad, newt’s hair was wavy af (and he was a hufflepuff, which I appreciate), and the costumes may get an Oscar nomination. As for the cons: so much panning, craning, and tracking that I could barely see what was going on due to low framerate, the first 10-15 minutes are a suicide squad level editing disaster, the pacing was weird at times, they revealed who the main antagonist was in his actual first scene, too many plotlines interweaved, inexcusably bad framing in a few shots, and the ending was a little bit Chekhov’s gun but was pretty much deus ex machina. This just didn’t feel as magical as the harry potter films and, like star wars 7, it feels like a failed attempt to recapture what made people love the franchise in the first place. It was a very flawed film but I still enjoyed it and will watch it again.

 Moana – 6 – VERY overrated but still good. How a lot of people felt about Frozen is how I feel about this movie. The animation was incredible, the voice acting was great, the songs were good (although not nearly as catchy or memorable as Frozen, save for Shiny) and it ends up being another Tangled, a movie I enjoyed but will forget about very soon—hell I’ve already forgotten about it. Just think about how long Frozen was a thing. People were talking about Frozen for months after and I haven’t seen anyone mention Moana since its opening weekend. Overall a huge disappointment. Zootopia was the far superior animated feature this year.

 The Handmaiden – 8 – my first Park Chan-wook film and I loved it ! This film is fucking enigma for the first half and then as soon as one detail is revealed it suddenly opens up and becomes an incredible psychological thriller. I honestly was not enjoying this film for the first act or so because of how seemingly meaningless it was but it really shaped up to be one of my favorites of the year. Never before have I experienced a film that made me 180 on opinion during the course of its runtime. Be warned: don’t see this with your parents or anyone you would feel awkward watching porn with because this shit is basically pornography at MANY points during the film. I don’t know if my friend and his brother have forgiven me yet.

 Unedited Footage of a Bear – 8 – there’s a tl;dr at the bottom of this one because it’s a little long and expository. I was watching an idubbbz video (https://youtu.be/5Bs45yITIt0) back in November and many criticized how unfunny and bizarre it was compared to his other content. People started to speculate that he was doing a metafictional series about his channel along the lines of alantutorial (https://www.youtube.com/user/alantutorial), a channel in which performance artist Alan Resnick plays a fictionalized version of himself who is depicted as a mentally ill young man obsessed with making tutorial videos. This alantutorial series is a commentary on poorly made tutorial videos that flood youtube, as well as social media in general and the overwhelming desire for likes, favorites, going viral, etc. after discovering Alan Resnick and watching all his videos I started to seek out his other content and I found this short film that aired as part of Adult Swim’s infomercial slot at 4 a.m. This may sound familiar to some as the timeslot for Too Many Cooks, which went viral. This short film, titled Unedited Footage of a Bear, can be watched here: https://youtu.be/2gMjJNGg9Z8 and parodies those commercials you’ll often see on tv about drugs that are peddled to mentally ill people without proper testing. This film depicts addiction as a force that can and will ruin your life, your family’s life, and will kill you if left unchecked. There’s an explanation you can watch here: https://youtu.be/_2e5ia9j0TA that explains it really well and is worth the watch. tl;dr: cool 10-minute short horror film about addiction by performance artist Alan Resnick – check it out.

Twin Peaks (Pilot) – 8 – it was good

 This House Has People In It – 8 – hey look another Alan Resnick short film. you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/x-pj8OtyO2I and the attempted explanation is here: https://youtu.be/mjBTAnCUbZc because this one is pretty complicated compared to footage of a bear. also worth the watch simply for the L O R E

 No Country For Old Men – 10 – one of the best movies of this century hands down. not sure if I rate it quite as high as There Will Be Blood though, which came out the same year. The Coen’s crowning achievement (although you could argue that title belongs to The Big Lebowski for reasons)

 Moonlight – 9 – a very heavy coming of age film about a young boy living in the south who attempts to find himself while growing up in an incredibly unforgiving environment. beautiful film and I’m excited to see it again. very very important film for LGBT issues.

 Nocturnal Animals – 8 – one of the biggest surprises this year. I LOVED this movie and it stayed with me for days. as soon as it started I made a mental note that I’d have to really pay attention to everything because I figured it would be heavy with metaphor and symbolism and boi was I right about that. Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal give great performances and I honestly can’t tell you the last time I got so emotionally invested in a film. people have criticized Adams’ performance as melodramatic and cold, which is the point because she’s not supposed to be likeable. the narrative structure is refreshing and fun to piece together and the visuals were pretty alright. my favorite part of this movie was piecing together all the metaphors (of which there are many) and figuring out what the events of the Nocturnal Animals manuscript (in the film) means for the characters. It’s been a very polarizing film apparently, which surprised me since it doesn’t really try to be anything more than it is. It definitely rewards close observation but I can’t guarantee everyone will like this one. I won’t say more because going into it blind is the best way but I do recommend it. Tense, emotional, gripping, funny. It’s good.

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 Star Wars Rogue One – 8 – I really enjoyed this. I probably don’t need to say much because it’s star wars but this was the best star wars film since Empire Strikes Back in my opinion (although episode III wasn’t that bad). the characters were a little flat, some of the humor was out of place, and the first 30 minutes had bad pacing, but overall it was great. the action in this one was insane and I’m so happy that we finally got to see a proper space battle (and holy shit is it a good one). this has one of my favorite moments of the entire series and it actually feels like a star wars movie unlike episode VII.

 La La Land – 10 – I’m at a loss for words honestly. This movie is so fucking good. The soundtrack is incredible, the choreography is awesome, the cinematography is BEAUTIFUL, and the performances are wonderful. I could keep thinking of adjectives or I could just tell you to go see this movie as soon as you can. Best movie of the year hands down. LA has never looked so fucking good OH MAN please go see this movie you’ll surely regret it if you don’t. OH and we went to see this in the Vista Theater in LA, which was a once in a lifetime experience. See this in the most old-Hollywood theater you can because it actually improves it if that’s possible. Now there are some flaws, mainly in third act pacing, but it’s so enjoyable that it doesn’t matter.

 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – 10 – it’s a classic and could be considered a perfect film. not much to say but it’s definitely one of my favorites of all time. never gets old.

 Home Alone – 8 – this was the first time I watched Home Alone and I liked it.

 Assassin’s Creed – 6 – the neckbeard-y guy doing anime runs up and down the stairs of the theatre behind us really set the tone for this movie. I didn’t hate it but it was pretty dreary and I feel like almost nothing happened. I don’t think it translates to the screen well but it did capture the feel of the games, or at least the first one. Let’s just say after seeing this I went on a mission to watch at least one more movie so it wouldn’t be my last of the year.

 Swiss Army Man – 7 – the praise for this movie was a bit unwarranted. It’s really silly and touching but it wasn’t the modern masterpiece that everyone was saying it was. maybe I missed something but the corpse of Daniel Radcliffe farting is only tolerable and funny for so long. I will say that this is one of the most unique movies I’ve ever seen, so I’ll give it props for that, and the soundtrack was actually incredible. I enjoyed it very much and need to watch it again but it was alright.

Come Together – 8 – an H&M short film by Wes Anderson that can be watched here: https://youtu.be/VDinoNRC49c . It was cute and I guess it’ll hold me over until Isle of Dogs, which comes out in 2018 (no it won’t)

 The Lobster – 8 – this absurd commentary on relationships and their influence on society is just bizarre and has a wonderfully dry performance from Colin Farrell and, well, every other actor too. this film is just crazy and I really need to watch it again. Expect it to be on my next year’s list as well. TOP TEN RELEASED IN 2016 xxx 10 – The Nice Guys

9 – Hell or High Water

8 – The Handmaiden

7 – Don’t Think Twice

6 – The Witch

5 – Moonlight

4 – Nocturnal Animals

3 – Green Room

2 – Arrival

1 – La La Land honorable mentions: Captain Fantastic, Horace and Pete, The Neon Demon, Make Happy recommendations: Frances Ha, Mistress America, Over the Garden Wall, The World of Tomorrow, Midnight in Paris, Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl, The Lobster and finally the award for worst movie of the year goes to ,,,,, SUICIDE SQUAD duh. In 2016 I watched 77 movies, which is terrible considering I watched 124 last year and 92 in 2014. That gap from September to November really killed me in that regard and hopefully it won’t happen again or for as long next time. Overall this was actually a pretty weak year for movies it seems. Looking at my top of the year list, it looks significantly weaker than last year’s which had The Revenant, It Follows, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, Sicario, and Brooklyn. If anyone has questions or suggestions about anything I’d love to have a discussion so feel free. Here’s to another year of great movies. also if you’d like to follow me on twitter @thejoeydavis please do because I’m a huge slut for likes and I desperately want and need your approval. thanks for reading

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga 4 | SGRS: Sukeroku Futatabi-hen 4 | Classicaloid 16 | D Gray Man Hallow 7 - 13 (FINAL)

(Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga 4)

“Underground level 6,” says the elevator.

A preceptor is a teacher, by the way.

I’ve never seen Blue Exorcist try to be this comical.

“This shaking is no earthquake!”

I always thought Tatsuma looked like a turtle. Or a hermit. Or a turtle hermit.

I think the staff are trying to make Shura funny. “Down boy!” + fanservice = plain weird in a shonen show.

(Showa Genroku: Sukeroku Futatabi-hen 4)

I LOLled at Shinnosuke taking a taiyaki out of Yota’s paycheck.

Oh, Higuchi picked him up.

Konatsu was playing the shamisen, it’s actually hilarious to see her all worked up.

Isnt Jugem the monkey from Gintama? (I know, it’s much more than that – they mention it in Joshiraku, according to this.) LOL.

I can almost imagine Yakumo’s “thank you for the trouble” being sarcastic. I guess Yakumo’s like that.

Matsuda really doesn’t like this guy.

CGI hubcaps…didn’t annoy me, strangely.

Sometimes, infamy can cause fame too.

What does it mean to have a “second honeymoon”?

Higuchi has those shark teeth too.

Konatsu’s eye was off model for a moment.

Konatsu’s delivery is so good! No wonder Yuu Kobayashi was picked for this role.

That was a stellar ep even amongst stellar eps. I was clapping along with the audience, y’know.

What did Konatsu fling at Yota? A chopstick holder?

Mikako Komatsu? In this? I never expected that.

The ED…it’s so beauful it moves me to tears. I don’t even know what “Hikobayuru” means, but I am in serious love with it.

I bet Yakumo’s gonna do Shinigami next time, judging from the smoke.

(Classicaloid 16)

Only episode 16? I thought we were further than that.

2000 yen isn’t too much. It’s only about $23 as of this post.

This ganguro girl is hilarious, I gotta admit.

I died when I realised that was Cho-chan using a selfie stick. Cho-chan. Selfie stick. I thought it was Schu-san at first…

Did Cho-chan just make…English puns?...Yes! A bishonen after my own heart!

Yuki Kaji has such a weird falsetto I keep LOLling so hard.

Ooh, nice onigiri. Also, the “oh my god!” made me LOL too hard.

El Nino is a weather effect that causes storms and the like.

Wait – if there are monkeys, this is Beppu…? *checks* Wait, there’s no snow. Just monkeys. So where is it?!

That was a nocturne? It was pretty high pitched.

A curse of oranges? Technically they’re mikan (which is sometimes translated “orange”, sometimes “mandarin” but either way it’s a citrus), but…yeesh. This one actually freaks me out.

(D Gray Man Hallow ep 7)

From now on, the impressions are new.

That man looks like Allen.

Why are the staff adding a comic style? Why now in the plot?

Judgement by Karma. Of course, they had to go and make that joke.

The ninja run. After Naruto, if it’s not a ninja show, it’s cliché.

(ep 8)

For the past two eps, it’s been Allem yelling for Johnny and vice versa. Well, it seems a lot like that.

The fact Alma looks like an angel is ironic in itself.

Seriously, how has any person who’s watched D Gray Man in English not made a Yu pun yet?!

How do Noah fly like that (Tyki)? Also, what’s up with the blue “blood” (around the time For shows up)?

No one’s done bad Bak puns, either. How disappointing.

I think the Earl staring in delight is the creepiest thing this show has to offer.

(ep 9)

Wait, how old is Kanda again?

Okay, explosion for absolutely no reason at all. That just happened. (sarcastic)

When it suddenly went to negative, it freaked me out.

Talking about Alma like a bubble…now that’s just inhumane.

I dunno what “adara” means. Google says it means “fire” if it’s a Hebrew name, which should explain some of it.

(ep 10)

When did Tim get so huge again?

I think the seal on Allen’s hand says “curse”.

The humour looks so out of place in a normally serious show.

“The Mugen”?

…and back to the “Johnny weeping” segment. *sigh*

Where were the eggs from?

Link’s a tsundere, LOL.

Regardless of what the porridge says, it’s still a dumb sentence.

Rice porridge, eh? What was the message made of then? Fried onions?

(ep 11)

Lvellie makes cakes? I didn’t know that.

I guess these Teez are CGI.

“…see inside me…” – I guess it should be “…see into me…”

(ep 12)

Does Komui like TINY MINISKIRTs too? (Haven’t watched FMA, but I know that meme.)

If Zu knew CPR, then the Order might have saved him.

I thought Apocryphos was a cube.

Oh, Lenalee has such a short skirt because it would be hard to move around in otherwise. Why didn’t I think of that earlier?

Couldn’t Allen open the gate instead?

See, humour really doesn’t fit serious parts of stories.

Oh, I think I only just understood why Lau Jimin is the monkey’s name. Because it sounds like “law”. *facepalms*

I forgot Allen was good at poker.

Lemme guess Lenalee. “I can’t bring myself to fight you.”

The rendering of the gate looks really nice.

(ep 13)

Last episode. Phew. I’m almost at the end of all my rewatches.

Why is that snowman winking?

“Clercy”?

What’s a “belly band”?

Strangely, Noise seems to be the one who speaks the deepest.

Humour still doesn’t work in serious situations.

Art of Kanda? They love him that much?

Kanda has flipping bed eyes, dangit. He aimed them at Lenalee too.

“Lena”…wow, they’re close.

Welp, there’s the end. Hope I can see you next time.

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen’s End of the Year Rambling: Anime

Okay, since I’ve still gotta’ talk about video games and manga I’ll try to keep my blurbs short so I don’t mentally drain myself, but... given my tendency to hyper-extend the length of theses in edit-phase, no promises. 

So, got IRL things out of the way, so now I can finally talk about some of the highlights of Allen’s Anime Experience this Year. I gotta’ say, this was an interesting year in terms of what I watched. Some things were out of my comfort zone, some things hit me in ways I didn’t expect, and I even went back to the past for a bit to clear out my queue and reminiscent on older shows of the past. All in all, it’s been an interesting year as far as anime goes.

First up is Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid, probably one of the most heart-warming shows I’ve watched in awhile. This anime sparked a bigger reaction in me than I thought it would, especially in the last few episodes. I could really feel the family bonds that had been formed between Kobayashi, Toru, and Kana. It reminded me a lot of my own family, my own household in a lot of ways. For those that was a nice, feel-good anime, I highly recommend watching this, and even re-watching if you’ve already done so.

This anime was also the first time I truly saw fandom discourse. It’s been a thing since fandoms existed, but... my, the vocal critique of this show. We get it, some of you didn’t care for the fanservice. 

Sorry folks... I can usually roll my eyes at things like that, but it really got to me when searching up discussion posts and gifs for this anime during the winter season.

Moving on, next up is Armed Girl’s Machiavellism. This anime gave me some Negima flashbacks, and in a good way. A pretty competent Battle Harem anime that thankfully had more action than panty shots. A lot of the battle tactics in this anime are surprisingly sound... outside of the beast tamer controlling a bear. I highly recommend this anime if you guys want to see some cute girls kicking butt and taking names, and a surprisingly likable main male character. Nomura... you are a good man, a good, well-written man given this is a harem anime. 

Also, this was the first of many good anime to be held hostage on Amazon’s Anime Strike... yeah, I can’t exactly not talk about this when so many anime are being held only several other platforms now with some high price tags on them. I won’t go into whether things should be pirated or not, but... yeah, I’m not exactly happy about this either.

Speaking of Anime Strike, Princess Principal was a show I picked up last minute and ended up enjoying all throughout. Cute girl spies and a lot of action and plot twists thrown in, what’s not to love? I know was I harsh on it at first, but the show is fine. I was just a bit salty at the time for so many shows badly ending on cliffhangers. This one is fine, and you should watch it if you get the chance, at the very least, check out its OP, The Other Side of the Wall. This was a treat, through and through. 

Though it’s an old anime, I did finish Sengoku Collection this year, and it almost matched the heart-warming feelings of Dragon Maid. For something that I thought was going to turn into a bad harem series, it turned out to be a fun episodic tale about gender-bent Sengoku generals. Seriously, watch episode 17 and 18 on Crunchyroll at the very least, they’re great stand alone episodes that nearly had me in tears.

And last, another blast of the past as I stopped keeping up with season anime, Absolute Duo was a fine rewatch. I honestly wouldn’t mind watching it a third or fourth time. The action was good, the story was decent, none of the characters got on my nerves, and even the male main character wasn’t too much of an OP idiot. It’s a good show, nothing outstanding, nor anything I’d say you’d need to watch immediately, but something to watch if you just need six hours of something competent.

Honorable Mentions

Akiba’s Trip: The Animation: A decent action-comedy show with a pretty good dub in my opinion. Nothing outstanding, but something I wouldn’t mind going back to again.

Kakegurui - Compulsive Gambler: I’ll talk about this in depth when the dub comes out on Netflix, but I’ve got a volumes 1-3 of the manga right now and... it’s a decent read.. with a few gripes here and there, but again, I’ll talk about those later.

Kenka Bancho Otome -Girl Beats Boys-: Essentially the reverse harem version of Armed Girl’s Machiavellism. A fun anime to watch, especially with it’s 8-10 minute runtime. It stars a cute girl that knows how to fight and fight well as she takes of her delinquent-filled school to rule it... while disguised as a boy.

Symphogear AXZ: The only thing keeping me from outright recommend this one is the fact that it’s season 4 that has quite a few links to past seasons. All I will say is please watch Symphogear. All four seasons of it.

Saga of Tanya the Evil: A wild ride of an anime, with it’s only downsides in my opinion being the sequel-hooking ending, and the fact that I personally don’t think this was Monica Rial’s best work. She’s not bad by any means, but... I dunno’ something felt a little off with her voicing Tanya at times. And just to clarify, this anime is based in World War One, not Two. This is not Nazi Loli Hitler... yet, but Tanya’s character development seems like its leading her to take out God, not Europe, so... 

Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya Season 4: Another anime I wrapped up from my queue, but goddamn season 4 was a wild ride of feels and action. The only issues with this series is that rather boring season 1 and the overtly sexual season 2. Other than that, please give this anime a shot if you like magical girls and the Fate series. Or hell, just skip to season 4, it’s honestly the only good season in my opinion, but... that’s just my opinion.

Alright, that’s it for anime. I’m... gonna’ take a break from writing for a bit then get to work on the big guns... Video games...

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen’s Rambling XXVII: When the Movie was Better than the Book (Magical Girl Raising Project)

I’m shocked that I marathoned Magical Girl Raising Project in just three days. When I made my Anime Update saying I’d re-watch the series I thought it’d at least take a week or longer. Rewatching Vivid Strike took me two weeks I believe, so the fact that I rewatched this series this quickly just… shocks me. But hey, that’s a testament to how much I liked it ,I suppose.

But I digress…

Anyway… Magical Girl Raising Project, or MagiPro as I’m going to be calling it from this point on because Christ, these light novels and their overly long titles. I watched the anime when it was airing in the fall, and later bought and read the first volume of light novel of this series. The anime just had me that curious about the world of MagiPro after I finished it, curious enough to buy the source material, something that no light novel-based anime has done for me. Hell, few manga-based anime get me to do this, but these series hits a lot of my personal interests, being a darker take on the Magical Girl genre and all.

Believe it or not, I’m actually a huge fan of Magical Girl anime. Magical Girls was what got me into anime in the first place in fact. I got up early every morning to watch Sailor Moon before school when I was a little kid, I first got into Crunchyroll thanks to Shugo Chara, and one of the first anime I watched from start to finish was the Japanese version of Magical Doremi back when I didn’t understand the whole fansubs issue, three seasons of it (what can I say, those theme songs were catchy). I don’t know… maybe it was because I was mostly around women and had a rather shy and feminine personally when I was a kid, but I loved a lot of shows that screamed “girl power”. Much like La Pucelle, I’m quite the fan of these anime and manga despite being a boy (and 23-year-old one at that). However, as of recent years I’ve found myself watching more and more dark takes on the Magical Girl genre throughout the years. Madoka Magica was the start for me, really dissecting the genre and ripping it a new one, and since then I’ve just been captivated by similar shows. Yuki Yuna is a Hero, Day Break Illusion, I even bought a DVD of Revolutionary Girl Utena since I heard this is a sort of darker magical show by 90s standards.

Ah, but I’m getting off topic. Like I said, I just finished watching then anime, and I’ve read original light novel. After experiencing both versions I have to say I think the anime of MagiPro surpasses the book in terms of entertainment. How so exactly? Well, the short version is the show took advantage of being animation and made a lot of interaction more interesting to watch rather than read, but there are a few more reasons.

But before I get to that…

Making Amends

Much like when I talked about Persona 5, I realize I made some harsh judgements about MagiPro a little too quickly when I first finished it. Upon second viewing and reading the light novel I’d like to take a few things I said about this show back.

I originally said that Snow White was an underused character that was trying to be an innocent Madoka-esque victim despite never even attempting to solve the issue of being in a killing game, but I think I only thought that because I was watching the show at a weekly rate. Upon a second watch, I can say for certain that Snow White definitely earns her main character spot. The point of her character is to show that being nonviolent and wanting to do the right thing without shedding blood is how a magical girl is supposed to behave. Where everyone else is forming alliances, and trying to ensure their own safety, Snow White is trying to save and help everyone around without care for what benefit she gets from it. She’s the paragon of this story, like Superman and Batman, except a cute girl instead a young man (an improvement already in my opinion). Huh… actually, she basically goes from being a Superman-style Paragon of Magical Girls to Batman-style Vigilante by the time you start reading the books… interesting.

Another thing I said was that I felt Ripple took a lot of screen time away from Snow White. Again, while marathoning this series I feel the opposite. We see a bit more Snow White than Ripple, it’s just that Ripple was more in the action that Snow White was with her match with Calamity Mary and Swim Swim. Actually, the book give her more screen time than the anime if anything.

And lastly, I take back what I said about the ending being shallow. It wasn’t shallow, but I feel they didn’t need to introduce the idea of the Land of Magic being an omnipotent presence felt a little bit like sequel-baiting by adding that bit last minute, but… I’ll say no more on that.

Okay, amends made, now then, the real reason you’re all reading this.

What the Anime Did Better

Backstories

The book didn’t really give every character a solid backstory, not to my memory anyway. You knew a bit about Snow White, Ripple, Ruler, and Cranberry’s background, but little else. The anime decided to give every character a decent solid backstory that explained their motivations and how they became magical girls, something I appreciate even if seeing said backstory it was a death flag. I understand the book couldn’t really break everyone down since it was focusing one just a handful of characters, but I’m glad the anime took advantage of this by giving everyone at least a few minutes of flashback to explain themselves.

Fight Scenes

I’m so glad these fight scenes looked as good as they did in anime. Hand-to-hand combat can only be done justice in animated or comic form, because trying to have that same energy in books is… difficult to say the least. Just something about seeing the action makes it more engaging. Ripple vs. Swim Swim and Alice vs. Calamity Mary were my favorites, and Ripple throwing Calamity Mary with a hurricanrana was just… yes. Speaking of fight scenes, I’m glad Cranberry vs. La Pucelle got animated as well. It’d really suck if we didn’t get context for the aftermath of that fight. The book cutting out that fact felt a little… cheap to me, and I’m glad the anime gave La Pucelle a bit more development.

The Overall Look

I talked about this in the Update before, but the character designs of the magical girls just look a lot better in the anime compared to the book. It’s just easier to keep track of everyone given how big the cast is. Most of the descriptions given in the book really didn’t do the designs justice as compared to the anime in my opinion as well. To the point where an artist did redesigns based on how the characters were described in the book (very good redesigns in my opinion, but my point stands). Also, I love how some of the details were worked in, like Nemurin’s clouds emoting, or seeing Top Speed’s broom transform into a motorbike-broom hybrid, stuff like that.

A Few Other Things

The entire Musica Magica album. It was just cool to listen to. Betrayal and Destruction are my favorites. It’s not an anime-specific thing, but it was a product of the anime, so…

Again, Ripple doing a hurricanrana was just… perfection.

Cranberry was a more believable villain in anime, as opposed to a mysterious and powerful figure in the background since we saw more of her and her actions and her actively trying to kill other magical girls.

Alice was a much creepier character in her intro in the anime compared to the book. The animation team really played with her zombie-esque appearance.

How the anime weaved in scenes in Episodes was just perfect. It really helped set up a lot of things, especially Swim Swim’s betrayal. You’d have a completely difficult opinion of Swim Swim if you didn’t understand what made her want to betray Ruler in the first place.

What the Book Did Better

This one’s going to be a bit shorter since I really have a hard time thinking of where the book was better outside of continuing. That’s not to say the book is bad, and the series gets exponentially be in later volumes, but… y’know.

The book was a bit better at establishing Ripple as a main/central character, and helped us understand how the world of MagiPro worked with her intro.

World-building was done a bit better, or at least I didn’t have many questions by the time I finished the epilogue as compared to the anime.

The book series is still ongoing, where the anime isn’t likely to get a season 2.

Powers and items are explained a little better in the book, especially characters like Calamity Mary and Snow White, who’s powers a bit vague.

I think that’s about it in terms of nitpicks and my overall feelings. Like I said, I still like the book, and I’ll be reading it more as the series continues, but if a season 2 happens and we get to see Restart animated I will watch that in a heartbeat. A Gundam fights a giant Kaiju in Restart, what’s not to love? Anyway, that’ll be it for me. I’m going back to story writing now.