#reviews are better than letters
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tired of having a gender at work; I don't want my colleagues to perceive me anymore
#my students are (for the most part) fine#one of my very sweet colleagues brought up the fact that I was consistently misgendered in a meeting that she was in#and I had to explain to her that everyone in my department misgenders me all the time even though they should know better#our DEI guy misgendered me 5 minutes after meeting me#like. on one hand. great litmus test for finding out how people perceive me.#on the other hand. I would like to not be perceived by my colleagues anymore#(I also. don't want to make a big deal of it for multiple reasons including that I Don't Trust Any Of These Jokers)#(but also if I make a big deal of it and then they continue to get it wrong that's worse for me in all dimensions)#anyway a different colleague (not in my department) volunteered to write a letter for my big upcoming review#even though she wasn't required to at all#and she sent me a draft of it (even though she wasn't required to at all) and she did they/them me the whole time#and this is making me unreasonably emotional#anyway. tired of this. please let me opt out of gender.#it's almost like deciding to study gender professionally for more than a decade made all my problems with it worse instead of better#who could have possibly predicted this outcome -_-v#what is my academic life#gender#Queenie actually says something on this blog
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Ok so my kid had an ear infection, right? As kids often do.
The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.
I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.
That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this "procedure". And, as I OWN a medical practice (it's me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like "You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn't. I'm not paying."
And the massive hospital who owned the bill said "yuh-huh you do have to pay."
And I said "I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this."
And they conducted an "internal review" and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.
And so I called my state's Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.
Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.
"How not to get screwed over by companies" should be part of civics class.
Know your rights and know who to call when they're infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.
May this knowledge find its way to someone else who can use it.
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Saw a fun little conversation on Threads but I don't have a Threads account, so I couldn't reply directly, but I sure can talk about it here!
I've been wanting to get into this for awhile, so here we go! First and foremost, I wanna say that "Emmaskies" here is really hitting the nail on the head despite having "no insider info". I don't want this post to be read as me shitting on trad pub editors or authors because that is fundamentally not what's happening.
Second, I want to say that this reply from Aaron Aceves is also spot on:
There are a lot of reviewers who think "I didn't enjoy this" means "no one edited this because if someone edited it, they would have made it something I like". As I talk about nonstop on this account, that is not a legitimate critique. However, as Aaron also mentions, rushed books are a thing that also happens.
As an author with 2 trad pub novels and 2 trad pub anthologies (all with HarperCollins, the 2nd largest trad publisher in the country), let me tell you that if you think books seem less edited lately, you are not making that up! It's true! Obviously, there are still a sizeable number of books that are being edited well, but something I was talking about before is that you can't really know that from picking it up. Unlike where you can generally tell an indie book will be poorly edited if the cover art is unprofessional or there are typoes all over the cover copy, trad is broken up into different departments, so even if editorial was too overworked to get a decent edit letter churned out, that doesn't mean marketing will be weak.
One person said that some publishers put more money into marketing than editorial and that's why this is happening, but I fundamentally disagree because many of these books that are getting rushed out are not getting a whole lot by way of marketing either! And I will say that I think most authors are afraid to admit if their book was rushed out or poorly edited because they don't want to sabotage their books, but guess what? I'm fucking shameless. Café Con Lychee was a rush job! That book was poorly edited! And it shows! Where Meet Cute Diary got 3 drafts from me and my beta readers, another 2 drafts with me and my agent, and then another 2 drafts with me and my editor, Café Con Lychee got a *single* concrete edit round with my editor after I turned in what was essentially a first draft. I had *three weeks* to rewrite the book before we went to copy edits. And the thing is, this wasn't my fault. I knew the book needed more work, but I wasn't allowed more time with it. My editor was so overworked, she was emailing me my edit letter at 1am. The publisher didn't care if the book was good, and then they were upset that its sales weren't as high at MCD's, but bffr. A book that doesn't live up to its potential is not going to sell at the same rate as one that does!
And this may sound like a fluke, but it's not. I'm not naming names because this is a deeply personal thing to share, but I have heard from *many* authors who were not happy with their second books. Not because they didn't love the story but because they felt so rushed either with their initial drafts or their edits that they didn't feel like it lived up to their potential. I also know of authors who demanded extra time because they knew their books weren't there yet only to face big backlash from their publisher or agent.
I literally cannot stress to you enough that publisher's *do not give a fuck* about how good their products are. If they can trick you into buying a poorly edited book with an AI cover that they undercut the author for, that is *better* than wasting time and money paying authors and editors to put together a quality product. And that's before we get into the blatant abuse that happens at these publishers and why there have been mass exoduses from Big 5 publishers lately.
There's also a problem where publishers do not value their experienced staff. They're laying off so many skilled, dedicated, long-term committed editors like their work never meant anything. And as someone who did freelance sensitivity reading for the Big 5, I can tell you that the way they treat freelancers is *also* abysmal. I was almost always given half the time I asked for and paid at less than *half* of my general going rate. Authors publishing out of their own pockets could afford my rate, but apparently multi-billion dollar corporations couldn't. Copy edits and proofreads are often handled by freelancers, meaning these are people who aren't familiar with the author's voice and often give feedback that doesn't account for that, plus they're not people who are gonna be as invested in the book, even before the bad payment and ridiculous timelines.
So, anyway, 1. go easy on authors and editors when you can. Most of us have 0 say in being in this position and authors who are in breech of their contract by refusing to turn in a book on time can face major legal and financial ramifications. 2. Know that this isn't in your head. If you disagree with the choices a book makes, that's probably just a disagreement, but if you feel like it had so much potential but just *didn't reach it*, that's likely because the author didn't have time to revise it or the editor didn't have time to give the sort of thorough edits it needed. 3. READ INDIE!!! Find the indie authors putting in the work the Big 5's won't do and support them! Stop counting on exploitative mega-corporations to do work they have no intention of doing.
Finally, to all my readers who read Café Con Lychee and loved it, thank you. I love y'all, and I appreciate y'all, and I really wish I'd been given the chance to give y'all the book you deserved. I hope I can make it up to you in 2025.
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Hint: If you ever encounter this puzzle in a crossword app, just [term for someone with a competitive and high-achieving personality].
A Crossword Puzzle [Explained]
Transcript
[A square 15x15 crossword puzzle is shown. Only 21 of the 225 squares are black. The black squares are in a pattern that are 180 degree rotationally symmetrical. Three black squares down from the 11th column and similarly three black squares up from the 5th column. Three black squares out from the right in row 7 and then two more black squares diagonally up from the end. Similarly three black squares out from the left in row 9 with two more black squares diagonally down from the end. A single black square is three above the first black square on the diagonal going down to the right and similarly there is a black square three under the first of the diagonal squares going down to the left. (Row 6 column 12 and Row 10 column 4). Finally there are three black squares on a diagonal crossing over the central point by going up from the left through the central point (Row 8 column 8). There are numbers at the top of every column (except the one that is a black square) and similarly at the left edge of all rows (except the one that is a black square). There are also numbers at the bottom of every black segment (except the one that reaches the bottom) and all rows after black segments except the one that reaches the right edge. In total all numbers from 1 to 51 is written. They are written in reading order from 1 to 51.]
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51
[Below the square there are two rows of clues for each number that belongs to across (rows) and to the right there are one row of clues for each number that belongs to down (columns). Both segments have an underlined and bold title above the clues. ]
'''Across'''
1. Famous Pvt. Wilhelm quote
11. IPv6 address record
15. "CIPHERTEXT" decrypted with Vigenère key "CIPHERTEXT"
16. 8mm diameter battery
17. "Warthog" attack aircraft
18. Every third letter in the word for "inability to visualize"
19. An acrostic hidden on the first page of the dictionary
21. Default paper size in Europe
22. First four unary strings
23. Lysine codon
24. 40 CFR Part 63 subpart concerning asphalt pollution
25. Top bond credit rating
26. Audi coupe
27. A pair of small remote batteries, when inserted
29. Unofficial Howard Dean slogan
32. A 4.0 report card
33. The "Harlem Globetrotters of baseball" (vowels only)
34. 2018 Kiefer song
35. Top Minor League tier
36. Reply elicited by a dentist
38. ANAA's airport
41. Macaulay Culkin's review of aftershave
43. Marketing agency trade grp.
44. Soaring climax of Linda Eder's ''Man of La Mancha''
46. Military flight community org.
47. Iconic line from ''Tarzan''
48. Every other letter of Jimmy Wales's birth state
49. Warthog's postscript after "They call me ''mister'' pig!"
50. Message to Elsa in ''Frozen 2''
51. Lola, when betting it all on Black 20 in ''Run Lola Run''
“Down
1. Game featuring "a reckless disregard for gravity"
2. 101010101010101010101010 [sub]2→16
3. Google phone released July '22
4. It's five times better than that ''other'' steak sauce
5. ToHex(43690)
6. Freddie Mercury lyric from ''Under Pressure''
7. Full-size Audi luxury sedan
8. Fast path through a multiple choice marketing survey
9. 12356631 in base 26
10. Viral Jimmy Barnes chorus
11. Ruby Rhod catchphrase
12. badbeef + 9efcebbb
13. In Wet Let's ''Ur Mum'', what the singer has been practicing
14. Refrain from Nora Reed bot
20. Mario button presses to ascend Minas Tirith's walls
24. Vermont historic route north from Bennington
26. High-budget video game
28. Unorthodox Tic-Tac-Toe win
29. String whose SHA-256 hash ends "...689510285e212385"
30. Arnold's remark to the Predator
31. The vowels in the fire salamander's binomial name
32. Janet Leigh ''Psycho'' line
34. Seven 440Hz pulses
37. Audi luxury sports sedan
38. A half-dozen eggs with reasonably firm yolks
39. 2-2-2-2-2-2 on a multitap phone keypad
40. .- .- .- .- .- .-
42. Rating for China's best tourist attractions
43. Standard drumstick size
45. "The rain/in Spain/falls main-/ly on the plain" rhyme scheme
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BTS fic recs
I wanted to do this a while ago, but felt like I hadn't read enough, until I checked my likes and got a shock to the face lol. I wanted to give some recommendations of some fics (and a series) that I quite enjoyed reading, plus leave a small review because I feel like it's very underrated to comment on what you like something (people, comment more, I swear it makes a writer feel so much better than a like). There's the occasional spoiler in the reviews, so I recommend you read it carefully or just skip the comment ^^.
Dawning by @wintaerbaer JJK
summary: He’s never invited into your world during these late night sessions. You always push him away or ignore him. This is new. warnings: heavy depictions of depression and panic attacks, a brief line where taehyung worries oc is s**cidal. I really loved this fic. For a moment I thought it was some kind of two shot or something, but it only has this one part. Still, I felt the author captured the emotions very well. It felt so realistic that even I was worried when Y/N disappeared lol.
Bottle up old love by @wintaerbaer KTH
summary: Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep. warnings: language, a short harassment scene at the beginning (nothing too intense), explicit content including: unprotected sex (DO NOT), fingering, praise kink, biting, marking, spanking, cum eating (sort of?), big cawk soft dom jk, cowgirl (yeehaw), creampie, cockwarming. This fic made me remember why I love the exes to lovers trope. I loved seeing Jungkook as a tattoo artist, it's like, I don't know, so him, anyway, I loved it. I just found this account yesterday in the wee hours of the morning and I'm already loving it <3.
Cat-astrophe & Cat-enaries by @dumpywrites MYG
Summary: Your pet cat keeps going to your neighbor’s apartment and it’s a problem.�� I fell in love with this Yoongi like you have no idea. When I just read the first part I was so eager to keep reading, seriously, I loved it, it deserves so much love.
Two Days by @dumpywrites JJK
Summary: He just wants you to give him two days. He'll take you on a few dates and you'll decided if you actually like him? Or not? I live for Jungkook being simp of the reader, I feel it's so real lol. This fic made me feel so warm inside, it was too cute to read. It's kind of like my comfort fic.
S'more than friends by @borathae MYG
Warnings: subby!Yoongi, switchy!Reader, consumption of beer, so much awkward tension, jealousy, sex in a tent, mutual masturbation, handjob, fingering, making out aye, Yoongi loves her boobs and she loves his butt it’s a win-win, sex while other people are sleeping, public sex, she has a thing for his hands (but what’s new lmao), fluffy post-orgasm talks because I’m soft. I read it a while ago now, but I remember when I did I felt so soft. This Yoongi is just too cute.
Please don't go by @httpjungkookcom JJK
Summary | Jungkook’s never kept anything from you, ever. Not even the time where he tripped and accidentally kicked your dog, or when he fucked the most popular girl in high school and couldn’t make himself cum (poor guy was embarrassed for weeks), or when he accidentally rubbed all of his acceptance letters in your face without realizing. To put it short, Jungkook is an open book to you. So when he suddenly disappears, there’s a lot to question. Even more to question when he finally gets back and won’t tell you anything, going as far to avoid you. You’re on a mission to figure it out, even if it kills you. Index | Jungkook is so smart, but so stupid at the same time. Jungkook is not sly in the slightest. Kind of angst, fighting, arguing, bickering, etc. Criminal activity, it’s a Spider-Man fic. Injuries and mention of blood. College setting and age, reader and Kook share the same major. Some cute fluffy moments in between all of the action. Aunt Yoon is essentially Aunt May in the Marvel story line. Spiderkook, is more needed to read this fic? It was the first one I read about this au and I was WONDERED. God, you can't imagine how much I loved it. I thought it was so cute the way Jk approached reader being in his suit….
Accidental roommates by @jjkeverlast JJK
summary: moving apartments is stressful and difficult enough as it is. all the planning and packing and multiple moments of rearranging furniture; all you crave is peace. yet it seemed like peace was far within reach as the owner of the apartment had left out one tiny crucial detail from the ad — a ripped tattooed adonis, coupled, with a tiny baby daughter will come as your roommate. warnings: second hand embarrassment | jungkook's abs | annoying antics | suppressed feelings | both of them are stubborn and petty (it's gets tiring lmfao) | mentions of past relationships | a lot of time stamps | sexual tension | ft. namjoon 👀 | !constant change of perspective between reader and jungkook. I have a tremendous weakness with dilf, no matter who it is, I just love them. I think this was the first one I read by Jungkook. It was so fun and easy to read that the 14.7k words flew by for me.
Silk & Stones by @taegularities KTH
Summary: “Taehyung was a writer… he was a writer indeed.” Kim Taehyung knows his way around words – they cast a spell on your heart and mind, leave you gasping dangerously fast. Until the mystery behind his persona unveils and his touch, along with his words, becomes a vivid memory. warnings: writer + violinist tae 🥺 who’s a gentleman in the 19th century, brief mention of injuries/a mental institution, misunderstandings, heartbreak, secrets, grief, much poetry (and my attempt at writing a poem, pls spot), much disgoosting fluff, flirting and lots of sexual tension; explicit sexual content: 2 sex(y) scenes, fingering on a boat, choking, teasing, begging, praising, soft dom!tae, big dick!tae, tiddie fondling/sucking, some manhandling, dirty talk, they’re just so cute :((, oral (f. and m. receiving), some masturbation, oc is into neck kisses, some biting, fingering, hair pulling, asking for permission :(, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (it’s the 19th century...), aftercare; there’s quite some angst ok; lmk if i forgot smth !! This was a work of art for me. I felt so immersed in the story, so confused by the time changes and everything surrounding Taehyung, but I loved it, one of the best stories I've read of Taehyung since I joined tumblr.
17 going on 27 by @hansolmates JJK
summary; one second, you’re sobbing at prom because the most popular guy in school dumps you due to your relationship being a little prank to break your heart. the next? you’re a creative editor at Ego, the hottest young adult fashion magazine. as you try to figure out what’s the deal with this sudden time skip into adulthood, you come across relationships and friendships that are made to be cherished and made to be broken. genre/warnings; fluff, crack, future enemies to lovers, teenage and adulthood angst, time skips from high school!au to late twenties!au, 13 going on 30!au, all your romantic movie tropes come to life! a really big mess honestly, various movie and music references, mentions of sex, use of alcohol, everyone give jin and jimin a big ol hug, language, a surprise guest from the queen of england. I love adaptations, especially ones that add their own touch, and the writer did it so well. She made me hate Jungkook, and then love him, and then hate him again, in the end I ended up resenting him, I wanted reader to stay with Jin lol, but I still loved it. Definitely my favorite part was having Jimin as a best friend, I loved watching him take on Jungkook in the car. We all need a friend like him.
Hot Bot by @httpjeon JJK/PJM/KTH/JHS
JJK: You order a sex robot online after getting a coupon for half off. however, there’s something strange about yours. PJM: Fear is primal and causes one to make stupid decisions. KTH: Your parents have a gift for you, however, there’s been a mistake. JHS: As a product tester, you have one of the most sought after temporary positions in Hot Bot Inc. This is a series that has smut, I think the name gives it away. It's rather sad that the writer is on hiatus, but he left the gems of his works open to the public. The series is pretty good, I fell in love with Jungkook (and Yoongi kskjdsksjds). Highly recommended.
The proposal by @hansolmates JJK
summary; Jeon’s the editor-in-chief for Big Hit Publishings, a closet romantic with a penchant for antagonizing his assistant on the reg. When his work visa is in the process of being renewed and he takes a trip to Norway, his eligibility to stay in America is on the line. However Jeon Jungkook doesn’t go without a fight, and in order to save his job he offers you a proposal you can't refuse. genre/warnings; the proposal!au, fake marriage au, enemies to friends(!!!), friends to lovers, bouts of flangst, dry humping, slight blood but not too bad, lang, alcohol, poor jjk discovers he has the ability to feel emotion, poor y/n is in the middle as always. I was looking for an adaptation of this movie for so long that when I found this one I almost cried with emotion. I LOVED the movie and the concept it had, and I was so happy to read this fic that captures that very romcom essence that the movie has. I loved it.
Marshmallows and report cards by @untaemedqueen KTH
Warnings: Impreg Kink, Marking, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Birthday Sex, Spitting, Begging, Praise, Fellatio, Face Fucking, Big Dick!Tae, Multiple Orgasms, Unprotected Sex, Possessive!Tae, Cock Warming, Creampie. I already confessed, this kind of fics get to me. I remember reading it and melting with the ending. I read it a long time ago, so I can't give a longer opinion, but I do remember that I loved it and came out internally squealing after I finished it.
Orange tulips by @kainks JJK
Summary: You’d remember Jungkook with every life you lived. Only he’d never remember you, never recall how your fates were written in the stars since the beginning of time. Genre: Angst. Fluff. Light Smut. The anxiety and helplessness I felt reading this fic are on another level. This scarred me, I read it once and I was never the same person again. It was wonderful, I felt so many things and I was so nervous during the whole reading that I almost didn't even realize when it was over. It is a very enjoyable fic.
What if I love you too much? by @taleasnewastime
Summary: Jungkook. It’s only a name you learn after your son kicks his ball over the fence. Before that you only knew him as the hot new neighbour who mows his lawn topless. And though you have no intention of getting to know him anymore than that, inevitably you do. You don’t necessarily fall, it’s too slow for that, but you definitely develop feelings you don’t intend to feel. Because you know men like him, and you know that whatever you’re feeling, he’s probably not feeling the same. All the same, however hard you try, you can’t help yourself. Warnings: Single mum, small fights, explicit sexual content, oral (f receiving), safe penetrative sex, reader thinks Jungkook is cheating/playing the field, angst, but also fluff, child gets injured (though not seriously), talks of cuts and a small amount of blood. This fic left me feeling bad, it even made me question some future decisions regarding my relationship with my future partner and the necessary communication that must be had in a relationship from the beginning, especially if there is a child in the middle. It was something I really enjoyed reading, and even though I had my internal dilemmas with Jungkook, the drabbles in the story helped me a lot to let go of my grudge (I swear I have nothing personal with him sksjkajskajsj).
#bts x reader#bts x you#bts fanfic#fanfic#bts imagine#bts x fem!reader#bts x y/n#fiction#bts x oc#taehyung x reader#taehyung fluff#taehyung#taehyung smut#taehyung x y/n#taehyung x you#taehyung x oc#jungkook smut#jungkook fic#jungkook imagines#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#jungkook x oc#jimin x female reader#jimin x reader#jimin x you#jimin x y/n#jimin x oc#hoseok x reader
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Unraveled 1
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: A curious man wanders into your dress shop with a lot of questions.
Characters: Sherlock Holmes (Cavill)
Note: I hope you all enjoy this random idea.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
One hand guides the fabric as the other turns the wheel. Your work is slow but steady, every stitch perfect, every seam precise. Your fare may be modest and your product simple, but its quality cannot be contested. Your labour as yourself is honest and plain.
The noise of the machine is your only company. The one-room shop nestled behind the butcher’s rarely sees a customer through its door. Instead, the orders are sent from the factories, returned with the printed adverts you disperse outside their doors. The writs are sent along with an envelope of pence and shilling and you complete each with equal diligence before sending them back bundled in paper and twine.
The operation isn’t especially fruitful but the profit is enough to subsist. Enough to guarantee your independence; a small apartment just above and a pot of stew to last you through each week. This humble existence is preferable to any marriage you’ve witnessed.
The letters from your sisters reaffirm your spinster’s fate. You’d rather a hand wheel and a needle than a brood and broken back. A husband seems to provide several jobs at once, you’ll happily settle for one.
As your hands work from memory and your head wanders from tedium, the bell above the door gives a single sharp toll. You ease the wheel to a halt and leave the seam unfinished. You peer up above the black iron machine, reminding yourself to fix your hunch as a client enters. You can’t but wonder if he may have come to the wrong shop.
By his attire, he is a class above the factory women who require gray skirts and simple stays. His waistcoat is embroidered and his jacket is pressed and clean. He is tall, locks part tidily so his curls lay gracefully. His face is fresh-shaven, square jaw with a cleft, and shoulders broad and strong. He does not share the same sinewy gauntness as the labourers with the coal-dusted noses.
He carries a fine leather bag. Another clue to his status. His shoes, another. Polished and without creases.
You stand to greet him, “good afternoon, sir. Might I help you with something?”
His answer is not prompt. He takes in the finished dresses hung by the east wall and turns to examine the rolls of wool and cotton. At last, he returns his attention to you.
“Afternoon,” his deep timbre fills the small space, “you are the dressmaker.”
It isn’t a question, but you answer, “I am.”
He narrows his eyes as he approaches your desk, the sole fixture in the space. From without, the shop is just as bare. The blackened windows offer not insight into the business, its only suggestion the sign hung above the door, though the paint requires a fresh coat.
“And the shop owner?”
“That is me as well, sir,” you assert. The presumption is not uncommon.
“Ah,” he accepts your explanation without comment, “so, you will have sewn this.”
He puts his bag on the desk, nearly knocking your shears from the corner. You try not to flinch as they teeter near the edge and he pulls open the top of the leather bag. He pulls out a swath of grey. You recognise it and he rolls the cuff to show your initials sewn within.
“Sir,” you say precariously, “is there some issue with it? Is it your wife’s dress?”
“Wife? No, no,” he dismisses, feeling the fabric between his fingers, “rather I am in search of the dress’s owner. The initial must belong to them, yes? So you would have a name for the buyer.”
“Mm, no, those are mine,” you point at the letters, “as it is my handiwork.”
“That makes sense,” he frowns in disappointment. “So you wouldn’t know who would wear it?”
You rub your chapped lips together. You find your tongue sliding over them often when you work, turning them raw with the habit. The man’s lips are rosy and smooth, as well-kempt as the rest of him. He is no factory worker’s husband.
“I might… would you take it out?” You ask.
He obliges as you pluck up the metal cylinder from your desk and unfurl the tape measure from within. He shakes out the dress, holding it by the shoulders to reveal salt stains along the skirts and unleashing a dingy smell in the shop. You wiggle your nose at the stench but worse roils in from the butcher’s on hot days.
You take the measure of the sleeves and the waist, then to the hem. You scribble the numbers on a scrap and take that to compare with your ledger. The measurements are in now way defining but might narrow it down. He keeps the dress aloft and you return to him to check the thread along the seams. A few months ago, you changed the thickness as the factory workers complained of splits under the arms.
“Hm, it is a recent purchase,” you assure him and return to the ledge.
He lowers the dress and approaches. You snap the book closed and turn your face up to consider him once more, “why do you need to know, if it is not your wife?”
“You are very discerning,” he remarks as he folds the dress and drapes it over his bag, “I’m certain then you can surmise the woman who wore this dress did not meet a kind fate.” He tugs up the hem and shows a tear trimmed in scarlet, the colour not obvious from a distance. “Holmes, Sherlock Holmes. I’m a detective and I’m trying to identify a poor woman found not far from here. I believe it is in your own interest that I discover her assailant.”
“I cannot say for certain which she is,” you turn over the scrap and re-open the ledger. You write down three names which match the measurements and hold the paper out to him. He takes it, his thick fingertips brushing yours. “Those are the ones which align with the dress.”
“Mm,” he hums as he tucks the paper into his chest pocket, “and your name? I couldn’t make it out on the sign.”
You recite your name flatly, “it isn’t on the sign.”
“It requires new paint,” he admonishes, “I could hardly find you.”
“I am aware,” you reply. “Thank you for noting.”
He’s quiet, “being a detective, however, I did indeed put together the clues.”
Is he making a joke? You cannot tell. He folds up the dress completely and puts it back in the leather bag. The smell persists.
“What are you prices?” He asks abruptly.
“Sir, I sew dresses for factory women, sometimes a few communion pieces, but I’m afraid I don’t do much suit work.”
“My sister requires a dress,” he sniffs, “as simple as it is, I can see your work is fine.”
“I have only wools and cottons,” you counter.
“Do you always turn away business?” He challenges.
“I wasn’t, sir, I’m only clarifying what I currently do. My prices are set for those fabrics,” you explain.
“I will pay for the muslin and velvet,” he waves his hand staunchly, “you will be paid for your labour. Can you sew with more than wool and cotton?”
“I can, sir, but you could find a ready-made dress in a market boutique if the dress is required promptly.”
“I can afford the time and coin,” he insists. “You are not a talented advertiser, are you?”
You’re taken aback by his bluntness. Often, his ilk have that demeanour. It’s why you’d rather the factory workers and the fish sellers’ wives.
“I suppose not,” you agree, “I would need measurements before I begin. You may send the numbers along with the fabric, then. And I would require a style. Perhaps your sister is a purveyor of fashion magazines?”
“I will send a messenger,” he shrugs. “Thank you for your time. I shan't get in your way any longer.”
“Good day, sir.”
“Good day to you,” he takes the bag from your desk and the shears fall to the floor with a clatter.
You skirt around to grab them as he bends and swipes them up first. You recoil as he closes the blades with a snap. He examines them before placing them back on the desk.
“Apologies,” he says, “and miss,” he looks at you, “take to heart what I’ve told you today. Keep away from the allies and perhaps you may consider locking your door.”
“Thank you, sir, your concern is appreciated.”
“Rather you might just keep those close, eh,” he points to the shears and his cheek dimples.
Again, you can’t be certain of his humour. You keep a placid expression, neither smiling nor scowling. He clears his throat and runs his hand down his jacket, gripping the lapel.
“Very well then, I’ll be off.”
He turns on his heel and marches to the door. You stay by the desk as the bell rings with his departure. Once the door closes, you cross the shop. You turn the lock into place, his foreboding lingering with the stale scent of dirty water.
🪡
Despite the unusual visit, your days roll on like a hand on a clock. The thought of the woman’s tragic fate looms like a shadow but fades. You have too much stitching to do to fret over that man and his ominous words. You assume his interest in your work thereafter was wholly feigned as he does not return.
That day, you pass off six parcels to Eustace, the driver who takes them down to the stacks to hand off to the floor bosses who will parse them out to the women they’ve been cut for. You pay him his toll before he climbs back into the seat of his cart, his horse kicking impatiently.
“Excuse me, sir,” another driver clops up along the other side of the street, a narrow squeeze between the slanting buildings. “I’m in search of a dressmaker. I believe the store is tucked behind the butcher’s and…” the man’s voice drifts off as his eyes flit to the meat sellers marquee.
“Right here, good sir,” Eustace responds, “wouldn’t ya know, she’s right here.”
You lift your chin to see past the cart and spy the driver. He removes his cap as his gaze meets yours. Eustache dips his chin as he adjusts his own hat and snaps his old mare into a canter. As you're left alone with the carriage driver, a vehicle rather lofty for a block like this, you fold your hands behind you.
“Sir, you hardly look in need of a work woman’s dress,” you say.
“Miss,” he ties the reins off and jumps down from his seat, “I am sent for you, not a dress.”
“For me?” You echo.
“Mr. Holmes has sent,” he crosses the muck and nearly slips. “He said he made an appointment for a seamstress.”
“An appointment? I wasn’t informed of the time,” you rebuff. “I’ve a shop to run, orders paid for. I can’t simply leave.”
“Ah, yes, Mr. Holmes made mention of a fee,” the man feels around his striped coat, “he said a deposit would be needed.”
He takes out a brown envelope and hands it over. You take it, a small weight within. You look at the driver before you pull back the flap and peek inside. A large gold sovereign sits in the corner of the paper; a whole pound. That’s at least three days work.
You hold your breath, trying to maintain some composure. If that’s the deposit, what is he offering for the rest? You slip out the folded paper within, a page torn from a fashion journal. The dress is elegant if not extravagant. You don’t often do off-the-shoulder or ruffles like that but it isn’t beyond your skill.
You fold the flap closed again and lift your chin to face the driver, “I must lock up, you see?”
“Take your time, miss,” he says kindly. “Mr. Holmes isn’t expecting you to hurry.”
“Thank you, sir,” you bow your head and turn away.
You measure your steps along the facade of the butcher’s shop and curl around to the alleyway. You let yourself into your shop and tuck the envelope into your apron pocket. You take your sewing bag from under the desk and shake off the dust. You don’t often have reason to use it.
You open it up and pack away your shears, a measuring tape, pins with a cushion, your notebook, and a few other bits and bobs. Just in case. You grab a role of linen from against the wall. It’s heavy but you can manage.
You take the key from your desk drawer and switch off the overhead light. You lock the door and continue back out to the street. The driver puffs smoke from a pipe as he waits.
“Miss, allow me,” he snuffs out the pipe and puts it in his pocket. He nears and reaches for the roll of linen.
“It’s quite alright, sir,” you say.
“I insist, miss, can’t have a lady doing all that,” he takes it, not forcefully, and you let him.
As he goes to the carriage and opens the door, you give pause. You don’t know if you should be so easily swayed on a gold coin. Mr. Holmes hadn’t been entirely pleasant and you do prefer your simple work. Still, you can hardly turn your nose up at a pound. Not with the summer fizzling to a finale.
You lift your skirts and cross the street to the open carriage, “sir, might I have a name?”
“Gavin,” he answers, “and I have yours. Mr. Holmes made sure of it.”
“Yes, very good,” you say as you approach, another sliver of doubt trickling through. Mr. Holmes claimed to be a detective but is that really the reason he was strolling around with a dead woman’s dress? You gulp and look at Gavin then the carriage, “might I keep the window open?”
“Surely you can,” he agrees amiably. “Mr. Holmes lives quite a ways, shouldn’t mind the air. I’ll be certain to stay away from the stacks.”
“Thank you, sir,” you accept his proffered hand and he helps you up into the carriage.
You settle on the bench as the door shuts and you open the window from within. You lean back, your hand grasping the top of your bag. You unclasp it as you feel Gavin climb up on the driver’s seat. You dip your hand inside and clutch your long shears.
You don’t forget all of what Mr. Holmes said.
#sherlock holmes#enola holmes#dark sherlock holmes#dark!sherlock holmes#sherlock holmes x reader#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#series#unraveled
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“You don’t know how to read? Then I will tutor you.” Rollo tells Gidel. “First shall we review your alphabet?” He stacks wooden alphabet blocks one by one and recites. “A is for Abomination, B is forBlasphemy, C is for Contrition, D is for Damnation, E is for Eternal Damnation, F is for…”
So tell me, do you wanna go?
“Gidel, c’mere!” Fellow hissed. He grabbed the young child by the arm and dragged him up and away from the desk with the growing row of wooden blocks. Gidel stumbled behind Fellow, who now directed a glare at the cross-legged boy behind that desk. “And you! Don’t go using your… your big, fancy words like that, you’re going to confuse him!”
Rollo grimaced as he slowly rose from his seat. “I was providing the child with a proper education, as it seems he is sorely lacking one while under your guardianship.”
A memory like a burning hot coal pressed against the inside of Fellow's head. There he was in glasses, crouched by the ground, Gidel beside him with a salvaged notepad and pencil in his sleeves. Letters were scrawled in the dirt, recreated the best he could manage.
"O is for Orange. It looks round like O does. I is for Ice-cream. That ice pop we had the other day was good, right? Tall and thin too, like this letter. And L is for Laugh... cuz lookin' at it like this, it's a smile.
"... Why is L the only one that's not a food? Cuz I wouldn't think of anything else. There's only so much I can teach you,Giddie."
If only I had gone to school, then I would've been able to teach you so much more. If only I...!
His anger spiked, and he tightened the grip on his fox-tipped cane. Pride, hurt. Fellow bared his teeth, eyes flashing dangerously. “What’d you just say?! You oughta not pick fights with adults."
"I am doing no such thing. I am merely stating the facts. It is of no concern to me that you should lose control of yourself over this." Rollo pressed a handkerchief to his nose. "... Your temperance is lacking as well."
"You're REALLY grindin' my gears! Who died and gave you the right to have an ego as massive as your forehead, eh?!”
“Mocking my appearance now, are we?” The sarcasm in Rollo’s voice was palpable. “How… mature.”
“For your information, I’m plenty mature!!”
“I would beg to differ. I know community goats that are better behaved than you.”
Gidel worried glanced between the two. The air between them was becoming increasingly heavy and charged. The wooden blocks, forgotten on the desk. He had been so looking forward to learning.
And so had Fellow, he knew.
A lightbulb went off in Gidel’s head.
The young boy put himself between the dup and, latching onto, Rollo’s robes and Fellow’s jackey, Gidel tugged. They both paused mid-argument and glanced down at him.
“…!!”
Gidel stared at them pleadingly. With all of the strength his tiny body could muster, he tried to drag the two toward the desk where the alphabet blocks awaited. Then Gidel glopped back onto his chair and slapped a hand on the F cube, the other hand gesturing at Fellow.
“What’s this? You wish to resume the lesson?” Rollo smirked triumphantly. “Well, then. It seems the child has made his final choice—and a fitting continuation. F is for the Fool beside me.”
“Oh, screw off!! Like you know Giddie better than I do!” Fellow jabbed Rollo in the middle of his (aforementioned massive) forehead. “He’s not sayin’ THAT. He’s sayin’ he wants me to be a part of the lesson too.”
“… Excuse me?” Rollo’s brows creased. “How could you possibly come to that conclusion?”
“I’m good at reading people. That’s one life skill your shiny schools can’t teach ya in the classroom!” Fellow grinned broadly. “So the decision’s settled! I’ll be a teacher too.”
“One moment,” Rollo protested. “Why do you presume you will be an instructor? Someone at your current level would be better suited to being a student.”
“Cuz you might put weird words in his head!! Someone’s gotta keep you in check.” Fellow tapped the F block with a finger. “Like this! F is for… Fun!”
Rollo looked appalled. (Gidel, excited.) “Fun?!”
“Fun,” Fellow repeated, “because if you lay F down, it looks like a big brother and a little brother walking together on a road—and life is F-un when it’s U N me, Giddie!”
“You must be joking,” Rollo scoffed. “A flimsy pneumonic device like that will never prove effective.”
“And G is for Grumpy, which is the face our new friend making! See how he’s frowning like the top curve of the letter? Then follow it down and in, pretending it’s his puckering chin 🎵”
“!!” Gidel faithfully nodded, oblivious to the discontent of his other teacher.
“Grumpy, me…? Surely not,” Rollo murmured to himself. He squinted hard at Gidel, searching for signs of foul play or deceit.
But still, the boy seems unusually… happy. Is he actually enjoying this juvenile lecture? I do not understand.
The longer he watched, the more discomfort knotted in his chest. There was something unnerving to the smiles and laughs Fellow and Gidel shared. An older brother and a younger one, having fun together…
“Look what I can do, nii-san!”
Sadness washed over him, along with a solemn silence.
Rollo’s eyes drifted shut. He had known it, had feared the parallels creeping up on him.
If only you could be here with me.
#twst#twisted wonderland#Rollo Flamme#Fellow Honest#Gidel#Ernesto Foulworth#Gino#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#a fellow in need is a friend indeed#twst interactions#twst scenarios#twst imagines#twisted wonderland interactions#twisted wonderland imagines#twisted wonderland scenarios#fellow honeat playful dress vignette spoilers
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My Sweet Cairo (Part 1)
Synopsis: The Ravens' Soccer team Captain fell in love for Cairo Sweet
Warning: Slight cursing, other than that, none that I know of (but feel free to correct me)
Words: 3.1k
Masterlist | Next Part
A/N: This is the first time I'm posting here, I hope you enjoy it. Happy Reading
Final year of high school was somewhat a bliss for a student athlete like Y/N. Everything should be perfect from then on. Grades, soccer games, even soccer practice needs to be perfect. If she wants to go to her dream university in California, she needs to do everything by the book. Be a model student, win games as a Captain of the soccer team, be everything. Being strained in a small town in Tennessee after moving a couple years ago, she did not expect to be where she is in life right now. It's too early to tell but she knows what she wants and she will get there however means necessary.
She was not rich by all means but their family got by. Her mom inherited a huge house in Tennessee from her father, then an incident happened and next thing she knows, she's flying from Australia to a place she's never heard of.
"Great job, guys! That's all for today, now go wash up and go to your class." Coach Boris Fillmore dismissed them.
Y/N was the first to the locker rooms. She has literature with Mr. Miller and she's somewhat excited when it comes to that class so she did not want to be late. Unfortunately for her, she's a few minutes late.
"Good Morning, Mr. Miller. I'm sorry I'm late." She said, panting while she sat beside her classmate Winnie Black, a girl from last semester.
Their teacher, Jonathan Miller turned to her with a smile.
"I was just starting, Ms. Y/L/N." He said, and he started the class.
"You smell nice." Y/N heard Winnie whisper beside her. This girl has always been a flirt, especially with their coach.
She turned to Winnie with a smile before flicking a paper in her face. "Stop hitting on me, you creep." She joked, hearing the girl giggle before their attention went to the front to focus on whatever Mr. Miller was teaching them.
"That's all for today's class, I expect your reviews on my desk first thing in the morning before our next class." Mr. Miller dismissed them, clapping his hands together to remove the remnants of the chalk that were stuck in them.
After Y/N finished putting her things inside her bag, she stood up and went to the front to speak with their teacher.
"Hey, Mr. Miller?" Y/N called out, making their teacher turn to her with a smile, he was always smiling.
"Yeah?"
"Here's an excuse letter for all the soccer team. Game's on the night before passing. I can pass the assignment earlier." Y/N said, handing out a paper to Mr. Miller who scanned it.
The older teacher nodded as he raised his head to look at her. "I'll be here. You can pass it before or after you win us that game. Good luck."
"Thanks, Mr. Miller. Have a great day." Y/N said before she started to walk back when she bumped into someone, making their things fall to the ground.
"Holy shit, I'm so sorry." She apologized but immediately stopped when she saw who she bumped into.
Short girl, tanned skin, freckles on her face, brunette hair, and her captivating brown eyes. Cairo Sweet.
"I'm sorry." Y/N said once again before she stooped down to grab all the books down the floor.
She heard a small giggle before Cairo stooped down to help her pick up the books that fell. "Better watch where you're going next time, superstar." Cairo said, smiling as Y/N handed her the books.
Y/N couldn't help but smile. She's had the biggest crush on Cairo since she's first seen the girl walking to school. Their houses are just a few blocks away. Since then, she would always ride her bike to school, hoping to catch a glimpse of Cairo before she got to practice. And without fail, she would pass by Cairo on the road and that would make her entire day.
"We have a game on saturday night. Do you think you could come and watch?" Y/N asked, getting all shy.
Cairo smiled. "I'll check in on my schedule."
Y/N nodded before she walked back, still smiling as she stared at the brunette girl and ended up bumping into someone again. Y/N immediately apologized before turning to Cairo who was already giggling.
"See you saturday night, Cairo." She reminded before she ran off to save herself from further humiliation.
"You're all smiles and shit." Jasmine, a friend from her soccer team said as she sat down in their physics class, taught by their coach Mr. Fillmore.
"I finally talked to her." She informed her friend, her smile not leaving her face.
"With who?"
"Cairo Sweet."
Jasmine howlered before slapping her hard on the arm which made her groan as she rubbed the soar place. "You finally did it!"
"I finally did, huh?" She said, grinning like a crazy love sick girl.
"Y/L/N, Smith, eyes up front!" Coach Fillmore called which made them straighten themselves up, but their knowing looks were there.
Before saturday, Y/N is back in Mr. Miller's classroom to pass her essay. She wanted to be a good student and not take advantage of being a star athlete. Her father always told her to focus more on being a student than being an athlete and she kept that in mind until now.
"You're early." Mr. Miller greeted her as soon as she stepped inside his classroom.
"Good morning, sir. I'm gonna pass my essay since Coach would excuse us the entire day for training. It's semis and it's a huge deal." She said, handing the teacher her polished essay.
Mr. Miller nodded. "Make sure you win us that championship or I'd fail you and tell Coach Boris to do the same in your physics class."
She chuckled. "No, you won't."
"Yes, I will."
"No, you will not."
"Yes, I will."
"Nah, you don't have the balls to do it, sir." She jokes which got her a howler from the incoming Coach, with coffee and biscuits in hands, and a laugh from their literature teacher.
"Training starts in ten, what are you doing here Y/L/N?" Coach Fillmore asked, handing Mr. Miller his coffee and laying down a biscuit on the front table.
"Mr. Miller here is threatening to fail me if we lose the championship, he's dragging your ass out to do so."
Coach Fillmore gave his friend a look before laughing. "That's not gonna happen."
"That's what I'm saying. Because I'm gonna make sure we win that championship and wave that cup in Mr. Miller's face together with my MVP cup." She said confidently and jokingly, making the two older men laugh.
"You're a cocky one, get your ass out here." Coach Fillmore said to which Y/N nodded. "And get a biscuit on the way out, you're gonna need that."
Y/N did get a biscuit and smiled at her two favourite teachers. "Later, Mr. Miller. Be ready to be humiliated when we get that championship."
"She's still not done?" She heard Coach Fillmore say.
"I'll be waiting here in my classroom." Mr. Miller followed.
By Saturday night, Y/N's nerves are on the roof. Their opponent is one of the strongest in the high school league and they're legacy. They've won 4 back to back championships and they were hard on Y/N since she came.
"I'm gonna go get some air before we start." Y/N told Jasmine who nodded.
While she was out praying and pacing, she felt a small tap on her shoulder. And what greeted her made her forget the nerves, only her smile and the presence of the person mattered from here on.
"You came... and you dragged Winnie with yah." Y/N said, glancing at Winne who had a teasing smile as she waved her fingers.
"Actually, Winne dragged me here with her, I did not intend to come."
"Why are you here?" Y/N asked Winnie who rolled her eyes.
"She wanted to watch Coach Fillmore in action." Cairo was the one who answered.
Y/N turned to Cairo with furrowed brows. "Coach Fillmore's not playing."
"But he will be out there frustrated and hot." Winnie finally spoke, making Y/N roll her eyes.
"Lay off him, will you? He's happy, contented."
"He hasn't had me yet." Winnie said with a flirtatious grin, her brows wriggling.
"That's disgusting. How about I hook you up with some of my jock friends? That's more appropriate."
"Mm-mm." She heard Cairo, making her turn to the brunette. "She doesn't like smelly cocky jocks."
"They're all rough and sweaty. I want something delicate and gentle."
Y/N made a face of disgust. "That's incredibly disturbing. And you're public enemy number 1 for me."
Winnie snorted. "You're just saying that because you don't want Cairo to have the same thinking as me."
Y/N kept quiet about that statement. But Winnie just laughed. "Oh boohoo, everyone in this school knows you're whipped for Cairo. Since sophomore years."
"Hence the reason you're public enemy number 1." Y/N said, not caring if Cairo's staring at her with this new found information. The shyness and shame is far out of her body at this point.
"Whatever you say, superstar. Go back in there, I can see my man looking for you." Winnie said, staring at a distance.
Sure enough, Coach Fillmore is out there seemingly looking for her.
"I gotta go. You two look for seats. Thanks for coming, Cairo." Y/N finally said, starting to jog back to the dugout.
"You're whipped!" She heard Winnie shout.
"And you're on my hit list!" She shouted with a smile.
"Good luck!" She heard Cairo saying which made her giddy inside.
"Where the hell have you been?" Coach Fillmore said as soon as she got to him. "Get your ass inside."
The two of them walked back to the dugout for a motivational speech from the coach. When Coach Fillmore was done, she got her stage.
"One thing, I got a girl I really really want to impress seated in one of those stands. And if we lose, I will make you all regret it." She threatened, which got her a whistling and howling from her teammates.
"That's not our problem, Cap." One of her mates said, chuckling.
"Oh, but it will be. If we lose this game, you're gonna get it from me." Coach Fillmore said, making everyone groan. "Now, get your ass out there and get us that win."
"How come you have coach on your side?!" Jasmine whined as they got out to start their game.
Y/N just shrugged as they focused. The announcer called both teams to the field and even without going out, they could hear the loud cheering and stumping. They all lined up side by side with the opponent team to have the anthem before the game started.
The first 30 minutes was a play of getting the ball and staying on the field for sheer amusement. It was boring for most people but for some, they can feel the heat starting to as the halftime comes.
"Y/N!" Jasmine shouted and passed the ball towards her. It's a free goal, she got the ball, ran her ass out and kicked it for the goal.
"And that's the first goal of the night from the Ravens' team captain Y/N Y/L/N!" The commentator shouted as the stands erupt in cheers.
She slid her way and did her celebratory dance with her teams, the cheering getting louder.
"Come on, come on!" They heard Coach Fillmore shouting as well.
The rest of the first half was them defending their post until halftime.
"That's was a great job, guys!" Coach told everyone as they cheered on the locker room for their ten minute halftime.
"They're seething. I saw them glaring at us before we went back." Y/N told their coach who nodded.
"That is why you're gonna be subbed out." He said.
There was a series of complaints but the Coach blew his whistle and they all shut up.
"Coach, you can't let her sit this second half down, they're gonna chew our asses out! We barely managed to defend them!" Jasmine said, as a matter of fact.
"Do you trust me?" Coach asked them, looking at them one by one.
There was a series of humming and yesses.
"Then you have to let me do what I do best. That is to coach you." He assured them.
"We're gonna get our asses handed to us in the second half." Y/N told their coach who walked to her.
"Do you trust me?" Coach Fillmore asked one more time but Y/N turned her head away from the older man. "Do you trust me, Y/N?"
The Captain looked at this coach, reading him. Then she nodded. "Yes, sir." Her Aussie accent coming out.
Coach Fillmore nodded as he tapped her shoulder. "Now, this is going to be the longest 40 minutes of your lives. They're gonna play whatever play they can to win and get back that point. And I want you all to give it your best shot to defend that goal post and that point you all so painfully got."
They did their team hands before they went back to the fields where Y/N sat her pretty ass down, or not. She was standing beside Coach Fillmore, watching her teammates struggle to defend the ball.
"And that is a goal for the Sharks! Great play from their team captain Trish Hudson!" The announcer exclaimed which Y/N groaned in annoyance. It was an easy goal.
The team was right, they did get their ass handed to them not less than 20 minutes in the game. Y/N was pleading to their coach but it fell on deaf ears.
"And that's another goal for the Sharks!" The commentator said.
Y/N was about to go all Lucifer on it when she noticed something from the other team's captain.
"She's limping." She said, making Coach Fillmore turn to her.
"What?" He asked curiously.
"Their star scorer, she's limping. Look." She said, nodding at the other team's captain and sure enough, she was celebrating but she was limping on her right leg.
"You're right. Why is that?" Coach asked, turning to her with furrowed brows.
"Someone rough housed her."
"One of our own? Why do you think so?" He was sceptical
"I know so. They're kinda holding out on a thread out there. An accident maybe?" She said, shrugging her shoulders.
"What did I tell yah?" He said, smiling widely at her.
"Call for the time out, then." She said with a smile and he did call for a time out.
"Alright! We're subbing Y/N back in." He informed their team with a smile.
"Finally!" Jasmine cheered as she let her head fall back.
"What made you change your mind, coach?" One of the teammates asked.
"She's limping." Y/N answered.
"What? Who?" Someone asked.
"Hudson, she's limping. Who rough housed her?" Y/N asked, looking at them one by one. "Come on, no one's blaming yah, she's a machine."
"How would we know? They're boxing us out, if we happened to kick their sheen, it would be an accident." Jasmine reasoned.
"Point taken. Now, go get us that win!" Coach said after the time out and in goes Y/N again.
She was defending the other team's captain and when the ball got to her foot, she immediately ran to the post, was about to kick the ball when she felt a sting on her left leg, making her fall. It was a bad slam.
She immediately stood up but it was still stinging from the cleats. The player got a yellow and a free ball was given.
"You got this Y/N/N!" She heard her team shouting as she closed her eyes, focused on the post, AND GOAL!
"What a wonderful hat trick from the Raven's captain Y/N Y/L/N! This seemed like an overtime coming up!" The commentator said as they celebrated.
"Let's go!" She shouted despite the aching on her left sheen but she did not mind that one bit.
Then the game continued, with 3 minutes remaining on the clock and everyone was doing their hardest to keep the ball alive, no one scoring and the defence was tight.
It was in the Ravens' possession and they were trying hard to get to the post but they were being boxed out. So when Y/N found a hole, she got the ball from her teammate and ran it like there's no tomorrow. She was being chased by 2 players but she mind nothing. The next thing she knows, her left leg was being slammed on, her face was bleeding and the ball was in Jasmine's possession...
"And goal! Right before the clock! The Ravens' take the win for the semi finals! What a goal from Jasmine Smith!" The stands erupted as everyone cheered.
Cairo has been holding her breath since the last five minutes, she's seen how the other team was playing dirty and they're aiming at Y/N. Her heart almost stopped when Y/N fell to the ground right before Jasmine scored. Even with the loud cheering and all, her eyes never left Y/N who pushed herself up and limped to her teammates, her face bleeding.
"That seemed like a bad cut." Winnie said worriedly, but Cairo still never left her gaze on Y/N who got body slammed by her teammates.
When everything was calmed, Cairo pulled Winnie with her to the lockers to check on Y/N and sure enough, she was just done getting patched up.
"That looked like a bad fall." Cairo said, walking towards Y/N who had an ice bag on her left leg and a few butterfly band aid on her right eyebrow.
Y/N's face immediately lit up as soon as she saw Cairo standing in front of her.
"Hey. Did you like the game?" She asked, fixing herself.
"It was boring." Cairo answered with a shrug.
"She was holding her breath the entire time you were out on the field." Winnie chimed in, making Cairo glare at her.
"You were?" Y/N asked, her smile widened at the thought.
"Don't be all cocky, now." Cairo rolled her eyes.
Winnie let out a playful gagging sound before she walked out. "I'll leave you two lovebirds in here while I go find Coach Boris."
"Lay off him!" Y/N shouted again but it fell on deaf ears.
Y/N shook her head before she turned to Cairo who was watching her with a small smile.
"So this is what you do huh?" Cairo said, walking towards her until she was in front of Y/N who was looking up. Despite her sitting down, she's still almost as tall as Cairo. What an adorable sight.
"Since I could remember, yeah."
With hesitation, Cairo held a hand on Y/N's cut, caressing it gently. The taller girl leaned in to the touch, her body relaxing despite her heart pounding in her chest, she thought it was gonna jump out of her body any time soon.
"Is it bad?" Cairo asked softly, making her open her eyes to look at the lovely brown eyes staring at her.
"Nothing I can take." She whispered.
Cairo smiled sweetly before she let her hand fall on her side as she stepped back. Y/N was disappointed and aching to bring that warmth back but she stayed quiet.
"Congratulations on the win. You did great out there." Cairo said with a smile, her cute dimples showing leaned down to give her a sweet kiss on the cheek.
Y/N watched as the brunette turned around and started walking. "Will you be watching the finals? I could use a little energizer."
Cairo turned her head to her with a smile. "I'll think about it." She said and she was out the door in a blink of an eye.
"You're gonna be the death of me, Cairo Sweet."
#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x fem reader#jenna ortega x you#cairo sweet#cairo sweet x reader#miller's girl#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter#wednesday addams#wednesday addams x reader#jenna ortega
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VotV Speculation Megapost
(For posterity's sake, the latest major release is 0.8) (Also, buckle in. This post is a long one.) (Edit 9/20/24: Added Addendum 1) (Edit 10/14/24: Added Addendum 2) It should be extremely obvious, but spoilers ahead.
As we all know, Voices of the Void has a "story breadcrumbs" approach to its plot. Combine that with its alpha status, and we're left with a lack of hard answers. However, some pieces did seem to click into place. This is far from anything definitive, but here are some of the conclusions I've drawn. Let's start with everybody's favorite:
Part 1: The Arirals
god i want one to hold me like that
You know em. You love em. Like 90% of the fanart is about them. But the question is... what the hell are they doing here? Judging by the fact that they construct a campsite in the facility, they clearly expect to be here for a while. A common interpretation I hear from people is that the ones out in the facility are either political refugees, or just some sort of benign "tourist group". I've personally come to a different conclusion. Let's consider what they brought with them.
Exhibit A: The weapon (left)
The weapon they drop around Day 24 is no mere Star Trek phaser. If you drop it in the main building, pretty much EVERYTHING in the building is going to be sent flying from the resulting blast. Not only that, but the "human-wieldable" version that can be unlocked for the sandbox mode has one hell of a fire rate. Something tells me that there's no way in hell this thing is a civilian-grade weapon. And, as established in a previous post of mine, they're kitted out in full-body armored stealth suits.
Exhibit B: The stealth suit (Kerf dutifully remains there for scale)
These aren't tourists or runaways. They're goddamn Black Ops. But you're probably asking, "If that's what they are, then why do they have nothing better to do than to steal shrimp and prank you?" Don't worry, I'll get to that later. Eventually. Maybe.
For now, let's move on to a third thing of theirs: The letter to Kel.
Exhibit C: Esraniki's Letter (D-, see me after english class)
This is the letter left at the Ariral camp if you have maxxed reputation with them. There's one line in particular that's always stood out to me. "GET WE HOME YOU GET DEATH AVOID" So... why can't they go home? Let's review: A: They have perfectly functional spacecraft parked right behind you. Even if they were broken, surely some random Pre-FTL primitive wouldn't be able to help with a mechanical failure in their technology. Hell, they buzz you at the radio tower with one. So there seems to be nothing physically stopping them from leaving. B: They've come kitted out with some serious weapons and armor C: Something in the facility is drawing the attention of all manner of extraterrestrials (and ghosts and demons. are 'metaterrestrials' a good word for them?) So my take? They're monitoring something, waiting for an opportunity to act upon it. (In keeping with the Patch Note naming convention, I will be calling this unknown something "The Threat") Not only that, this 'opportunity' may only open up with the assistance of a human. But what could Dr. Kel possibly do that an Ariral couldn't? Well, I can think of one thing he can do better... Interface with human technology.
Exhibit D: Ariral Communique (quality: shit) Computer technology isn't some universal constant. You can't make a program and expect it to magically run on alien technology with an unknown architecture. This ain't Independence Day. The fact that the Arirals barely managed to send a heavily-garbled message to Kel's computer, quite frankly, speaks of an extreme amount of effort on their part. And it was all just to say the word "OUTSIDE".
If The Threat has some ties to human technology, then perhaps Kel actually could be more qualified to deal with it than the Ariral Black Ops. Hmm... An unknown threat with ties to human technology. Could it possibly involve...
Part 2: The Incredibly Suspicious Bunker
"I left a 'Do not enter' note on the floor. That'll stop people from investigating!" This damn thing is quite obviously, as TVtropes would put it, The Very Definitely Final Dungeon. It is my firm belief that this is what the Arirals were sent to monitor, and where The Threat can be found. But we can't really get much further in than a few doors. So... what's in there? An easy assumption to make is that it's some sort of fallout/storm shelter. But something nearby might tell a different story...
Exhibit E: *squints* ...Liberty Prime? If you take a metal detector over to the bunker entrance, you'll quickly discover a buried drive nearby. The image you just saw is its contents. It's clear that something is being depicted here. What exactly it is, well, that's hard to say. but if you look at that teeny tiny thing at the top, you'll see something that looks like the Alpha base and its radio tower
oh god we're getting into crusty duende video territory now
What this says to me is that there is a colossal something underneath the base. Some sort of mega-facility? Unnatural cave formations? Something else entirely? Or I could be looking at it entirely wrong. But the point is, it's very likely that something extremely expansive is down there.
What if we could just take a peek a liiiittle bit further in? Well, there is ONE way...
Exhibit F: The Least Cursed Elevator in Horror Fiction
Roughly around 3:33 each night, there is a chance that a camera inside the bunker will become active. It's monitoring what appears to be a heavy-duty elevator coated in blood. An elevator like this would also indicate something buried deep underneath the base. Say, this elevator seems familiar...
youtube
Exhibit G: Monique Santificer's Extremely Ominous Foreshadowing
...Huh. I'm sure that only means good things. So we have a Hellivator and evidence that there's some place that you'd need a Hellivator to get to. Are there any other clues around? Well, there's that handy instruction book on robotics. You can make your own little friend!
POV: You're 5'11 and she's 6'0 And... Oh! looking back at that camera, it looks like someone else made their... their own... friend...
Exhibit H: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- ...I don't think they followed the instructions to the letter. So it seems the people in the bunker were working on combining robots and, er, 'biomass'. I don't think our meaty friend here is The Threat itself, but I do believe that it is some aspect of it, or at least a result of it. And whatever The Threat is, it seems to be "leaking" out of the bunker. After all, this toothy bot here seems to have little siblings burrowing out from underground!
Exhibit I: should start running Kerfus. Kerfur. Whatever name they have, they love you! Such a shame that the flesh inhabiting their chassis does not.
they seriously recalled the ++ models over a little thing like this, smh Something deep underground, cursed flesh, and occult sigils. Hmm. Things would tie together neatly if there were, say, some sort of demon around associated with flesh and dark depths.
Part 3: Furfur (and conclusions)
"I WATCH YOU SHIT AT NIGHT" The Great Earl of Hell and raw flesh afficianato, it's Furfur! Demonology refers to him as a liar, but also a teacher of secrets. And he seems to really really like flesh. Not bones, though. He's always leaving those behind.
They say that if you burn an offering of flesh at his altar, he'll give you a marketable Furfur plushie!
The children who survived loved them! Interestingly, there's a certain location connected to Furfur: The bottom of the well. If you pass out at the bottom of the well, you will end up in a (dream of a?) mysterious structure.
Exhibit J: all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well
A few things of note in this place: -More demonic sigils -The only 'exit' is a tunnel leading upward with a broken ladder. And even if you could reach up there, Furfur's giant skull-face is blocking the way. -A unique knife, which when examined in the inventory, says that it was found "deep underground".
How very interesting that this flesh-loving demon has his own little place down in the depths of the earth. And you say the bunker reaching downwards has been spawning horrific robot-flesh amalgamations? Robots that are specifically of human design?
Well then. So here's what I think is going down:
no i'm not crazy it's invisible alien catgirls versus demon cyborgs you weren't listening were you?
-Some scientists from before did a Very Bad Thing in the bunker depths. If I had to venture a guess, it's that they bargained with Furfur for secrets of the flesh, perhaps in the pursuit of cybernetics, biocomputers, or somesuch. This resulted in the Very Bad Thing happening, thus creating The Threat. -The Threat was contained to some extent, but is starting to noticeably leak out. It is also severe enough to have drawn extraterrestrial attention. -The Arirals have sent a squad to monitor the situation and act if necessary. Seeing as there's been no urgent need to act as of yet, they are bored out of their skulls and taking it out on you. -The fact that the bunker hasn't been blown up by catgirl black ops already says to me that the situation down there is delicate, and a 'guns-blazing' approach would be inadvisable. Not only that, but The Threat seems to be tied to technology they have little knowledge of. They would most likely need outside assistance if they want a 'clean' resolution to the problem. -And wouldn't you know it? Right there in the facility is some nerdy, crusty, half-crazed twink that seems to be very proficient in handling human technology. How very convenient.
"average person eats 3 roaches a year" factoid actually just statistical error. Dr. Kel, who-
That's how I think this ties together, personally. Of course, there's always unaccounted for 'loose ends' that may or may not be tied to the Bunker Conspiracy (the rozital pit in particular has been bugging me with its vagueness). Plus there's always the chance that I misinterpreted things like a dumbass. There were a few other smaller things I wanted to cover, but my fingers hurt from typing, and my ability to hyperfixate has its limits. And sorry if the screengrabs are a bit mismatched, I've already spent hours on this post without having to get screenshots from the game myself. If anyone actually read through this monstrosity of a post, congratulations! If you're as deeply brainrotted as I am, feel free to point out the reasons I'm dumb and wrong :)
Addendum 1: Meta Aspects
no, not this. wrong place. wrong time.
Every now and then I hear talk of lore clarifications in Discord servers, Google Docs, etc. Will I be covering these?
(source) The reason? I want to give my impressions based purely on the work as published. Death of the Author and whatnot. The furthest I'll reach 'outside' the games are those ambiguous little teasers on YouTube, which you don't have to be in any 'specific server' or anything to see.
youtube
haha what if funni meme robot was irreversibly corrupted by the horrors?
Think of it as me giving a form of feedback on how the game is presented as an isolated work. Anyway, I'll be posting another Addendum later, connecting more demon stuff to the bunker. Fun! One thing I intend to investigate between then and now is a rumor of a very poorly documented... item interaction. As a little preview, consider this note.
It seems, in my pursuit of knowledge regarding a mysterious bunker in an incomplete videogame story, I find myself investigating a skeletal entity of ambiguous origin described as having a single glowing eye. God. Fucking. Dammit. Every time with this shit.
This always seems to happen whenever the protagonist is bullied by tall monstergirls
Addendum 2: Classified
Progress on my investigation has been slow due to a combination of poor RNG and real-life stuff. Fun fact: I've never encountered the fossilhound in my many months of playing, and it looks like that won't change anytime soon!
I'll get you one day, ya boney bastard. In the meantime, it seems that someone has leaked classified pokemon data communications from our employers...
youtube
And just who do we encounter within the first few weeks?
Our classified documents are their vacation photos
So it seems that at the very least, our employers seem to be aware of the Arirals. So to what end do they want to draw them out? And why would the Arirals show any particular interest in a human presence in this facility specifically?
They clearly seem to be hiding their presence from the world at large with their cloaking ships and whatnot, but they seem almost eager to grab the attention of anyone working at this particular site.
And, as everyone already knows, Arirals are certified Goobers. They form like 3/5ths of the Counsel of Goobers*. The ones we encounter at the very least are very much not what our employers expect to kill us. So our employers are also aware of the existence of some other threat, possibly even THE Threat. *the remaining members are Kerfuses and Dinguses
Truly an incomprehensible menace from beyond the stars. (source)
Personally, I feel like this all feeds back into my previous thoughts. There is clearly a Threat at this location, and the Arirals probably believe that they may need human assistance to do something here. Or maybe I'm just biased towards whatever random thoughts got cooked up in my head.
Anyway, hopefully next time I'll be back with reports of yanking the lifecrystal out from the Fossilhound's head and shoving it up its ass. I am so, SO sick of trying to get that thing to show up.
#votv spoilers#votv#ariral#spoilers#tw blood#dr kel#voices of the void#votv speculation#speculation#furfur#kerfur#kerfus#kerfus omega#this is what hyperfixation and brainrot does to you#i should have been in bed like five hours ago#Youtube
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Less Than Three (Hongjoong x Reader)
~Rachel~
@sorryimananti-romantic hahaha remember how I said I was the slowest writer ever? Apparently that's not true because it only took me a month and a half to write this. I need help
Content: fluff, a whole lot of delusional one-sided pining (the cute kind though) (from him), silly middle school antics from both teachers and students, betting, friends to lovers
Summary: Kim Hongjoong teaches middle school math and finds himself absolutely smitten with you, the math department's newest hire. You're the last person to find out.
Note: This is set in an American-style middle school because that's where my teaching experiences have been and I figured my best work would come out of the system I'm most familiar with
Word Count: 11.5k
Why did Hongjoong choose middle school?
He asks himself this question every day as well
If he wanted to be a math teacher, high school was clearly a better option
But no he had started out in a middle school, promising to take a high school position as soon as one opened up
And now he was actively avoiding high school principals that wanted to recruit him
Is it because he found out the math is easier to explain and the kids really aren’t that bad?
Yeah sure
But this year he had another reason to stay
See his math department had a position open up this summer and as he got to take part in interviews to select a new hire
He fell in love
Now that was not the whole reason he advocated to hire you
In fact your credentials as a math teacher
The places you had taught before
Your praxis exam scores
Your recommendation letters
The professional development programs you were a part of
Test scores from your previous classes
The way you understood math
And especially the way you believed that every student had the potential to pass your class
All of these made you the obvious choice and everyone else agreed
But he was struck several times with Cupid’s arrows throughout the interview and that absolutely did not hurt his opinion of you as a potential colleague
On this particular morning his excuse to talk to you before classes started for the day was a test for your 7th graders
Which they would be taking next Friday
Your feedback always ended up being valuable anyway so there was no need for this to be an “excuse” but it got to be one anyway
You were typing something up when he knocked on the open door to your classroom to announce his presence
You finished typing your sentence before you looked up, and when you saw Hongjoong leaning against the door frame with some papers in his hand, you greeted him with a smile and a wave
He wondered if it would look unprofessional if he grew out his hair to cover his ears
You looked gorgeous today (every day) and he knew there was no stopping his ears from turning bright red
“I have the unit tests for 7th,” he said, stealing a chair from a desk to sit backwards on while he talked to you
“Oh good!” you replied. “I’ll take a look at those and get them back to you by lunch”
Buy lunch he thought
That sounded like an excellent idea
He should buy you lunch
He didn’t say that though
“Works for me. How was your weekend?”
And he stalled and stalled and stalled until the first bell rang and he had to get out to hall duty
At lunch he walked in again while you were putting in assignment scores and munching on some pretzel sticks
“I made a key for that new assignment we decided to add for 8th grade. Can you check answers if you get the time?”
His heart did a little flip as you covered your mouth with your hand while you finished chewing
How could you be so graceful and polite?
And your hands were so pretty wow
“Yes just as soon as I finish putting these in. And—” you turned your chair around and grabbed something from behind you— “here are the 7th tests from this morning. I added a couple notes on the integer operations review questions, but other than that, I think they’re great”
He unfortunately did need to go and eat his own lunch and fulfill other teacherly lunchtime duties so he couldn’t stall as much as this morning
But he read your notes on the way back to his classroom
And boy he could have lived in your handwriting
The pen that you used was the perfect instrument to capture every letter, every dot, every loop in a way that encapsulated your personality
And as soon as he caught himself thinking that he knew he needed to ask the home ec teacher to smack him over the head with a frying pan because wowie
He would need professional help in order to date you like a normal person at this point
Anyway he was practically skipping back after lunch because he came up with another question to ask you
There were students there so instead of using your first name he caught your attention by calling you Miss (L/N)
Which for some reason gives him more butterflies than calling you normally
This time luckily instead of giving you a new task it was a task he could do for you
“How many copies of the activity page should I put you down for?”
“Ooh good question”
You put your finger over your lips as you counted on your other hand and he had to actively look away and think about other things
There were students present after all
“Which classes are you doing it with?” you ended up asking
He used the opportunity to set a hand down on your desk and lean forward in a cool pose
“I’m making the eighth graders do it but it’s extra credit for the seventh”
“That sounds like a good plan to me. So sixty for the eighth graders and then how many do you think I would need if it’s optional?”
Oh boy he loved it when you asked for advice
It gave him the chance to look cool and smart and he always got to play it off as the humble senior teacher
“I do half just to be safe. Plus then you have extra if you want to do it again later in the year or even next year”
And then your face did that thing it did when you liked a suggestion he gave
Your face lit up with your eyebrows raised and your mouth in a little “ooh”
There were students around there were students around
“Okay then sixty for the eighth graders and forty-five for seventh. A hundred and five?”
He scribbled the number down on the copy request form
“Excellent. I’ll run this down then”
He gave you a smile and a wave as he went to attend to his own class
Which you returned
And he was sure his heart would never physically recover from the stress it was under this year
You didn’t need to know that you were the only other teacher he was sharing this particular activity page with
He would give it to the other teachers if they asked him for it but he wasn’t going to go out of his way for this one because it was kind of silly and short
But he would do anything to make your first year at a new school just a little bit easier
Back in his classroom he tried to get class started when one of his eighth graders had the audacity to raise his hand and say the following:
“You just walked back from Miss (L/N)’s class huh?”
Mr. Kim squinted suspiciously at the student
“Yeah…why”
“You’re way nicer when you go to her class before our class starts”
Before he had any time to figure out what that meant, the class exploded in giggles and shouts of agreement
“Yeah you smile a lot more this year than you did last year” a girl who had had his class the previous year as well agreed
And then from the back corner
One of the notorious trouble makers stood up
Pointed his finger up at poor Mr. Kim, who was now considering taking a high school position again
And shouted “Mr. Kim has a crush on Miss (L/N)!!!”
There was no longer any hope for this class
Exponent rules? Down the drain
Hongjoong was now a laughingstock
Irredeemable in front of a bunch of 13-14 year olds
So he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, lips pursed, and his eyes dangerously blank
It wasn’t long before kids started shushing each other
Even once they were quiet, he held their attention for a second longer
“If you have two to the fourth times two to the third, what’s the product?” he asked clearly, writing the problem on the whiteboard in new black marker
Not addressing the issue would not stem the tide of curious teenagers for long but it would have to be a band-aid solution until he figured out how to do this properly
Because he couldn’t allow rumors to spread that he liked you because firstly unprofessional and secondly what if you heard them and thought he was weird
But he couldn’t lie and allow rumors to spread that he definitely didn’t have a crush on you because firstly. unprofessional kids don’t need to know about that stuff
Like they think they’re all mature and old enough to date when they can’t even drive yet like can you imagine as a teenager asking your mom to drive you to your date with your girlfriend. Embarrassing
BUT SECONDLY
What if you heard the rumors and maybe you did like him back and it crushed your heart to hear that he didn’t like you
While the kids were working on their assignment and he was working on his computer he decided the best way to explain this to them
If they ever brought it up again
Was that they’re always in a better mood when they get to talk to their friends, right?
You’re a good friend and it’s fun working with you
The other math teachers are fun too but you’re close to his age so it makes sense that you would be closer
Yep
Good explanation Mr. Kim
Literally just one day later the kids bring it up again and they do not buy his explanation
They don’t even pretend to because their brains are not developed enough to have that kind of social tact
And the rumor doesn’t exactly spread like wildfire around the school but everyone knows about it you know what I mean
Except you actually
You’re usually very aware of everything going on in your classroom but somehow this particular subject escaped your attention
You learned early on that for some reason kids don’t have shame anymore in spilling their guts to the classroom about what they’re gossiping about
So the usual “if you can’t wait to tell your friend later then tell the whole class now” classroom management tactic is now useless
So you didn’t do that instead you just asked them which problem they’re helping their friend with and if they’re not helping their friend with math then they should get back on task
You didn’t think that any middle school level gossip could actually be that interesting anyway so yeah you had no idea that kids were shipping the teachers
And you didn’t want to know
So you stayed blissfully ignorant
While Hongjoong was lowkey agonizing over it
Now you and Hongjoong tend to eat lunch in your own classrooms rather than the staff lounge
Because why use up any more social energy than necessary right
But there is a vending machine in the staff room and Hongjoong was craving something sweet one day
And when he walked in the other teachers in there suddenly went awkwardly silent
And he knew
They were talking about him
Yeah he should take a high school position next year
Two of the younger teachers, Jung Wooyoung from the history department and Choi San from the phys ed department, broke the silence giggling to each other
“Sorry Hongjoong” San apologized “the kids are just hilarious these days. They’re so excited about you and (Y/N) it’s adorable”
Hongjoong gave them a look
“Adorable?”
“Well firstly you” Wooyoung pointed out “I never thought I’d see you fall head over heels but I totally get it. She’s super cool”
“And secondly the kids” San continued “any time you guys are talking in the hall I have all of the girls talking about it during warm ups. The boys all think of you as their role model when it comes to liking a girl”
“That reminds me!” Wooyoung interrupted “I actually did have a boy confess to a girl in my class the other day and you wanna know what he told her??”
Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed in a glare, absolutely sure that his reputation was never going to recover
“He said ‘I like you more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”
The teachers tried to tone down their laughter out of respect
Hongjoong wanted to leave immediately but this stupid vending machine was having issues
“And then you know what she said back?”
Wooyoung was having trouble holding himself together
His eyes were shining a little with tears of laughter
“She said ‘That’s impossible. No one can like anyone more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”
The other teachers could not hold it back anymore
The vending machine finally gave Hongjoong his candy bar
(Plus the extra one he bought for you)
So he made his way swiftly back towards the door
“Oh no no wait” Wooyoung called after him
“Tests to grade” Hongjoong lied simply
“No come on you have to hear this”
Hongjoong stopped at the door, fighting the urge to classroom manage his coworkers
He looked back both unimpressed and expectant at the same time
“Okay everyone raise your hands if you betted on before Christmas break” Wooyoung called out
Some of the teachers looked at him like he had just asked out a widow at her husband’s funeral
But they raised their hands sheepishly anyway
“Great yes and after Christmas break?”
The other half raised their hands, most of them looking like they wished that had eaten lunch in their own classrooms
“These are bets on when you’re going to ask her out” Wooyoung explained cheerfully
“Wasn’t someone also trying to get bets going on whether you would confess first or she would notice first?” San asked
“That was also me” Wooyoung said with a grin
The lounge door opened again and in walked the principal and one of the vice principals
Hongjoong thought this was finally the end to this stupid conversation
But no
“Oh Hongjoong!” the principal greeted him with a pat on the arm “I’ve got $50 on you dating before Christmas. Don’t let me down”
Waiting until the end of the school year to take a new position would simply not be soon enough
Hongjoong needed to find a new job or retire within the month
But then on the way back to his classroom he remembered he had an extra candy bar for you
So he made a detour
But what greeted him was a closed door with the window on the door covered
He hadn’t ever seen your door shut like this before so he wasn’t sure what it meant exactly
Maybe you went out to lunch today?
Then he could just nab one of your sticky notes and leave the candy bar on your desk with a positive message
He would rather give it to you himself, but the idea of you finding the candy bar on your desk later made his chest feel all warm and cozy so it was fine
Your door was unlocked, so he pulled it open just enough so he could see inside
And you were in there actually
Slumped in your desk chair with your head in your hands
Oh
Oh no
Hongjoong had been there before
Every teacher had been there before
The work of a teacher isn’t as easy as most people would like to believe
Especially for middle school, and even more so for math, it takes someone with unending patience and courage to help kids learn every day
And some days that patience and courage runs a little thinner than other days
Even experienced teachers wonder from time to time if it’s worth the soul that they give to their classes
The classes that seem sometimes not to notice one way or the other if you’re teaching or not
You hadn’t noticed that you weren’t quite alone anymore, so that left Hongjoong with a choice to make
Did he let you have this moment to yourself?
Or did he try to help you through it?
He closed the door as softly as he could
And then he gave a little knock to give you some privacy and some time to gather yourself
Then he opened the door and stepped halfway through
“The vending machine spat out two candy bars instead of one” he lied with a grin, holding up the extra candy bar and wiggling it between his fingers
You had sat up and were resting your chin on your hand curiously
But there was definitely a downtrodden aura about you that he couldn’t miss
“That’s pretty lucky,” you replied
He took that as permission to enter and on his way to your desk he snagged his usual chair to sit backwards on
“How’s today going so far?” he asked as if he knew nothing, setting the candy bar down on top of your closed computer
“Oh, you know,” you sighed
He chuckled, opening his candy bar, not making eye contact with you to relieve some pressure for you to keep up an act
“That good, huh?”
You laughed in return
“Just got my butt kicked by a bunch of seventh graders, so yeah, it’s kind of whatever right now”
Ah the teacher equivalent of “I want to quit my job and hide in my bed for the rest of my life”
“Oh, yep, I’ve been there more than once” he said with a nod “and sometimes there’s really nothing you could have done better, you know? Kids are just like that sometimes. It makes me glad I’m not an elementary school teacher”
“Oh my word yes” you agreed, finally picking up the candy bar “at least I can kick these gremlins out after 45 minutes and I don’t have to see them again until the next day. I can’t imagine being with the same class all day”
Did Hongjoong end up squandering his entire eating time just to talk with you and make sure you felt better?
Yes
He would have to sneak bites of his sandwich in between activities during his afternoon classes
But like it wasn’t the first time he’d had to do that and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last
At least he had a good reason today instead of something stupid like he was lost in the test grading sauce and forgot to eat
He proceeded to get his butt kicked by his afternoon classes because he couldn’t wipe his lovefool smile off his face
But it was okay because once again it wasn’t the first time and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last
Not long after came the hallowed and hated teacher inservice day
Professional development day
Both a huge waste of time and a relaxing little work day
The administrators usually planned a series of workshops for the morning that all looked. well. kind of stupid but it was all planned with good intention
Then it was lunch time
And then after that you had until the end of contract hours to do whatever pretty much
The math department liked to go to lunch together and then have a really productive planning meeting until people got bored and then it was individual prep time pretty much
Mostly it was just kinda nice to be at school without kids there
This year was no exception to all of this
But Mr. Principal had $50 on the line and decided to play matchmaker about it
For each of the workshops the teachers were split into groups
And you and Hongjoong had been placed together every single time
Somehow you genuinely thought it was just good luck
Hongjoong was hyperaware of every other teacher looking and pointing and giggling and you were so peacefully oblivious to it
The first workshop was about medical emergency training, specifically training teachers in case of allergy or diabetic emergencies
As soon as the nurse finished with the epipen instructions you leaned over to Hongjoong and whispered “like this?”
And stabbed him with the fake epipen right in the thigh
Hongjoong swore he was going to die right then and there because why was that so attractive???
“Four…five…six…seven…eight…” you counted out, holding the epipen in place for the full ten seconds
And like a good patient he sat like a statue because his circuits were absolutely fried
You glanced up at his face and your expression immediately dropped
You checked the epipen all over to make sure it was just a trainer
(It was)
“Hongjoong are you okay?? Your face is all red did I do something wrong?” you worried
He unfroze and tried to undo the damage of his Little Moment but the nurse was already over at the table taking a closer look at him after dismissing the rest of the teachers to practice
She looked at you and then at Hongjoong and then at you again and back at Hongjoong and a funny look of understanding came over her face
“Are you Mr. Kim the math teacher” she asked
He nodded awkwardly
“And are you Miss (L/N) the math teacher” she asked
“Yes?” you answered
She patted Hongjoong on the shoulder
“He’ll be fine in a minute or so” she reassured you, glancing up and away somewhere else
You both followed her gaze over to the principal, who gave her a bright smile and a thumbs up
Which looked innocuous enough to the untrained eye
But to Hongjoong this was just another in a long list of embarrassments
The principal had told the guest workshop speakers about him
And he had been spotted that easily
After that was administration-provided snack time
Hongjoong offered to grab sodas if you would grab chips and stuff
And at the soda table he was greeted by Wooyoung and San, who called him affectionately Mr. Traffic Light
Hongjoong resisted the urge to react publicly
Even though there were no children around he refused to allow himself to be caught cursing them out
But he brainstormed violently about the ways he could get back at them without getting caught
Truly his middle school teacher powers of ignoring were activated because those two were practically dancing around him trading one-liner after one-liner and Hongjoong paid them no mind
Until he realized they were following him back to the table where he was sitting with you
He did not need them teasing him around you so he tried to shoo them off
But Wooyoung gleefully turned his attention up to the projector screen where the groupings for the next workshop were displayed
Truly your presence was the only saving grace this day had to offer
They were in this group with you two
The computer teacher/school tech support guy was leading this workshop and he was showcasing how one might use ai in their classroom
And all four of you were totally zoned out because firstly ai in a math classroom?? For what
Chat bots are notoriously bad at math
Ai in San’s gymnasium? Once again no practical application
And Wooyoung honestly just wasn’t that interested because none of you were listening so he didn’t feel like he had to either
So he decided flirting with you was more fun
Just to make Hongjoong mad
But for all of his whispered pick up lines and compliments you had approximately the same response as to this ai workshop:
Playing gamepigeon with Hongjoong under the table
(Which Hongjoong had initiated by the way)
(And you had perpetuated after destroying him at the mini golf game)
Aka you ignored Wooyoung pretty well
So Hongjoong got to glare over at him with the peace of mind that your attention was fully his right then
San tapped your shoulder and asked for your number
Which you gave him a little too easily for Hongjoong’s continued peace of mind
But then San just made a group chat for the four of you to play uno together for the remainder of the workshop
So Hongjoong decided that actually this setup wasn’t so bad
The last workshop was unfortunately much more important so the four of you couldn’t continue slacking off
The principal was running this one and it was genuinely for the betterment of the school environment
Plus San and Wooyoung were sent off to other groups
So it was the two of you and a few other senior teachers that were going to have a discussion about one of the behavior initiatives that the school was trying out
You were the only two math teachers in the group, so when the principal passed out data that had been collected about this behavior initiative, the other teachers sort of automatically passed the papers to you
(And the science teachers in the group but that’s irrelevant)
There was only one copy of each dataset, so that meant you got to share
And that meant that you got to scoot your chairs close together to look at the paper at the same time
And even better the text was kind of small so you had to bring the papers close to your faces to read them
So the two of you were shoulder to shoulder
Practically cheek to cheek, your heads almost touching
To read this data and explain it to the less number-savvy teachers
Today was actually pretty fantastic so far, Hongjoong thought
He also wondered if you could physically feel the heat coming off of his face but that was not something he was going to let bother him right then
He was going to live in the moment
And perhaps thank the principal later
After a surprisingly productive and insightful discussion
It was finally ~lunch time~
The math department gathered up in the department head’s classroom to decide which of the nearby restaurants to choose to go to
And no one could agree
Not a single person was feeling like eating the same thing
Except Hongjoong he was agreeing with whatever you said
Not just because he wanted you to have your way but because whatever you said sounded good to him too
Maybe it sounded good because you said it but nonetheless
And then the department head said the following fateful words:
“How about you two just go ahead and we’ll try to decide on something for the rest of us
Hongjoong was suspicious right then and there that this was a setup
The department head probably had money on Before Christmas
But Hongjoong was absolutely not going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers
“I’m cool with that” you answered before Hongjoong could gather his thoughts enough to say anything
Then you turned to him
“I need to go grab my purse from my classroom. Do you need anything from yours?”
“Oh, yeah, just my wallet” he answered totally on autopilot
You stopped by your classroom first and then his since his was closer to the front of the school
He was so excited to finally realize that dream of his from a few weeks back
He was gonna buy you lunch
And not only that it was just the two of you going out to lunch
It didn’t matter that this wasn’t a date
Or that technically you were just gonna buy food and eat it back at school
It was special to him to go somewhere with just you
That wasn’t school
Seriously he was so happy he couldn’t stop smiling when he told the cashier that your orders were together and he was going to pay
You kinda elbowed him and told him he didn’t have to do that
But he just shrugged and turned his smile on you
“But I wanted to” he replied
You accepted that
“It’s on me next time” you promised
And oh man he could have died right there he felt so complete
Except if he died then there would be no next time
But you were saying next time and it made him think that wow yeah this would happen again
You meant if it ever happened again but he was determined that it was a certain for the future
Because even if it didn’t happen by chance then he would make it happen himself
When you got back to the school the rest of the math department was gone so you started eating without them
And that was a magical moment of peace too
Just the two of you
No one around to tease Hongjoong
He could almost pretend you were just normal friends and he wasn’t head over heels for you
Then the rest of the department came back and they all had food from the same restaurant
So Hongjoong had been right to be suspicious earlier
It was most definitely a setup to get the two of you by yourselves
And he liked it so he wasn’t going to complain about it
Even though it was embarrassing
Well as fun as professional development day ended up being
Parent teacher conferences were not
Hongjoong was looking forward to more Mr. Principal shenanigans
Like maybe when all the teachers were in the gym yours and his table could be next to each other
And he could talk to you when neither of you had any parents
And when the night was wrapping up
And he could walk you out to your car because it was dark
And maybe treat you to dinner because the school-provided food wasn’t usually that great
But no
None of that could happen
Because someone had decided to have teachers stay in their classrooms for conferences this year
The parents would have the wonderful opportunity to get lost in their child’s school trying to find all of their classes
What a joke
They were probably going to get so many complaints they would switch it back to normal next semester
But the one time Hongjoong was looking forward to parent teacher conferences
Of course
Was the one time they had to switch it up
The one silver lining in this was the teachers complaining about it together
Hongjoong’s favorite email he had ever received was now from Wooyoung
Who was replying to the email notifying teachers of the different setup this year but just to Hongjoong
In all lowercase:
“hey loverboy u see this crap
math teacher romancephobic fr smh”
And then with his full professional email signature at the bottom
This precious email was moved to Hongjoong’s funny emails folder, which was usually reserved for unhinged student emails
He did not reply to it
San and the other phys ed teachers were joking about how nice it would be to have the gym to themselves for once but they were in agreement that this probably wouldn’t last
Of course the math department had tests scheduled across all the grades right before conferences
Which of course left everyone grading like crazy
And of course the kids trashed the classrooms the day before
And of course the head janitor ended up getting sick
So it was up to the teachers to make sure their classrooms didn’t look like trash
Even though they had 150+ tests to grade and a pile of late work to grade
And they had 24 hours (7 of which were going to be spent teaching, and hopefully 7-8 would be spent sleeping) to make this all work before parents started showing up at 4 o’clock tomorrow afternoon
What a time this was going to be
So Hongjoong picked up his pile of tests and went to your classroom
Predictably you were grading tests
He stole a student desk and moved it close to your desk
“Which tests are you working on?” he asked
“Eighth” you replied, not looking up from the test you were currently grading
“How does this sound” he began “I’ll take your seventh and you take my eighth so we don’t have to switch answer keys?”
Still barely looking up, you handed him three binder-clipped stacks of paper
“As long as you don’t mind working to music” you replied, your eyebrows raising as a little smile played on your lips
He took your tests and handed you his eighth grade tests
(This worked out nicely as you both had three classes of seventh and two classes of eighth. He was tricking you into letting him take the heavier load ohoho so sneaky)
(He was just lucky you were grading eighth instead of seventh first)
“Don’t mind?” he snickered, uncapping his favorite felt-tip grading pen “I’d prefer it”
And that’s how speed grading turned into karaoke
Grading went almost certainly slower than it would have if you had worked alone but it was way more fun this way
Of course he ended up with sixty some more tests to grade than you
So when you finished you left for a bit and came back with snacks
As well as his pile of late work
He tried to protest but no no
“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are Mr. Kim” you teased him “You thought you could fool a math teacher into thinking we had an equal workload here?”
“That wasn’t the point” he whined, trying to put the cap back on his pen and inking his finger instead
“Then what was the point?”
I love you that’s the point
But what was the point actually
What was a point he could believably tell you without giving himself away
“Just…because” he said convincingly, shrugging his shoulders and settling back into his tests “You look stressed these days. Wanted to do something nice I guess”
You brandished his late work stack again
“So I’m going to do something nice too”
Yeah he probably wouldn’t ever feel this way about anyone ever again
For him at this point it was you or nothing
But the problem was he was willing to let it be nothing for far too long
He would never make a single move unless he knew you were okay with it
Because if he and his stupid heart ruined whatever you had going now then it would really be nothing
He wouldn’t give up the something he still had
He was like a curve approaching an asymptote
He could get infinitely close, but he would never actually touch you
After settling your gradebooks for tomorrow you started by picking up your classroom together
This did go faster with music by the way
And then you picked up his classroom together
And then he realized Hongjoong realized he could have his wish
The one about walking you out to your car and taking you out to dinner
Walking you out was easy but taking you out was another story
He would have to suggest it himself
A little known fact about teachers is that they became teachers because they don’t know how/don’t want to talk with other adults
Kids don’t judge you if something comes out of your mouth a little different than you meant it
Other adults are mean and judge you over silly things
This unfortunately meant that he didn’t know how to ask you to go to dinner with him without making it sound like a date
He was kinda just hoping a lil Kdrama moment would happen and one of your stomachs would rumble really loud so he could laugh it off and say you should go eat together
But you got closer and closer to your car and no tummy rumbling
You got to your car and no tummy rumbling
You opened your door and said goodbye and still no tummy rumbling
“Wait!!!”
He could have slapped his own mouth
You were a little startled but it stopped you from getting in your car
“Hmm?”
“Just uh…it’s kinda late and snacks are great but they’re not that filling…so do you wanna um…” he trailed off and did not finish his thought
“Wanna what?” you asked
Big boy pants Hongjoong come on
“Go grab dinner? Or something?” he finally spat out
He must not have seen your face light up in the dark
“No pressure” he added when you didn’t answer within 0.05 seconds
“No that sounds great! I was thinking of grabbing something on the way home anyway and it would be way more fun to do it with someone else” you accepted
He let you pick the place again and you drove separately because after you would be going in different directions
But it ended up being a nice little fast casual restaurant
And it didn’t feel like a date really but it kinda felt like a date but no it didn’t
It just ended up being a comfortable little outing between friends
Hongjoong knew he couldn’t stop smiling
And he wondered if you already knew how he felt about you
He was sure he didn’t smile like this at anyone else
And you were many things but dense couldn’t possibly be one of them
He knew he was the opposite of subtle
But if you were willing to spend time with him like this then that meant he didn’t make you uncomfortable
Honestly he was so used to the way you made him feel at this point that loving you from afar felt like second nature
Being friends with you was enough if he could keep loving you like this
The waiter came by and asked if it was one check or two
And Hongjoong was fully prepared to pay once again
But you beat him to it
You were already prepared with your card and everything
“I owe you for last time, remember?” you told him with a cheeky grin
He shook his head
“You don’t owe me anything”
“Well then next time it’s on you”
Hongjoong started to smile again
“Next time?”
“Well, yeah” you said with a shrug, now a little bashful “This was fun. We should keep doing it”
“It is fun” he agreed with a laugh “It’s nice to hang out with people outside of school for once”
You laughed at that
“Oh boy tell me about it. Nobody told me that teaching would ruin my social life”
And things just kind of continued like that for a while
Before you had come to the school, Hongjoong had lowkey felt like he was kind of going nowhere with his life
Any time he spent at school outside of his contract hours felt like an infringement on his personal time
Or not even at school, just away from home
He had been hoping that taking a high school position would give him back a little bit of the passion for teaching that he was losing
He hadn’t even been teaching that long it’s just that the profession really is like that
Indescribably rewarding and incredibly draining all at the same time
(Especially these days. Sometimes you really wonder if it’s worth it)
But having something to look forward to every day besides a favorite class ended up being what he needed to love his job wholeheartedly again
It wasn’t just you he had fallen in love with
He had also found new friends in an unlikely place
The math department was like family and he enjoyed their company dearly
But that weirdo phys ed teacher and obnoxious history teacher had turned into excellent friends frighteningly fast
Sometimes they joined you and Hongjoong on your dinner outings
And honestly it was such a blast
An amendment to my previous statement about teachers being teachers because they don’t like talking to other adults:
Other teachers often do not count as other adults
Sometimes they do when you have to have grown up conversations
But gossiping about students does not count as grown up conversation
There were some eighth graders that all four of you had
Hongjoong not currently but he’d had them for previous classes and they were now in your class
Was it a little embarrassing as 20 somethings to have your main source of gossip be preteens?
Yeah but oh man there is nothing like finding out which of your students are lying to their other teachers about the work they need to do
Or what they’re like in other classes
(You and Hongjoong, and sometimes Wooyoung, tended to have very different opinions about some students than San did so it was double fascinating)
Who they’re friends with outside of your class
Or crushes they have on each other
Basically if you spend every day around preteens you gossip like them too
It was now November and starting to get uncomfortably cold outside
So San had offered his home as a little gathering space for you all to order food and hang out
It was almost like a little Friendsgiving
“Any of you have (male student name, obnoxious connotation)?” Wooyoung asked, taking a sip of his soda
You immediately scoffed
“I’m about to write an email home about that kid”
Hongjoong was surprised
Annoying kids existed in every class but you usually had something nice to say about them at first at least before you got into the bad behavior
He hadn’t had this particular student but he was intrigued as to why he annoyed you so much
Wooyoung and San also both looked surprised
“He’s great in gym—like cooperative, doesn’t do stupid stuff too often—” San said “but that doesn’t usually mean anything about how they are in math class”
“No he’s great in history too” Wooyoung added “finishes all his work on time, helps his friends with theirs if he finishes”
Your eye might have twitched a little bit
You let out an unamused laugh and crossed your arms over your chest
Hongjoong was fascinated and quite enamored with this new side of you
“If he has time to help his friends then he should be working on the seven late assignments I’ve been reminding him about. He hasn’t turned in anything for two weeks”
Wooyoung gasped and covered his mouth
“You’re joking”
“I’ve talked to him about it twice and I warned him if I had to remind him a third time then I would email his parents” you said, shaking your head “Like I asked him if he’s understanding the material, if he’s got something going on at home, if he needs some help, and he’s giving me nothing to go off of”
Wooyoung smiled devilishly
“He’s been lying to me, then. I ask him every day if he has other classes to do stuff for and he says no. I will absolutely be getting on him about that”
San shook his head
“Teenagers” he sighed
Everyone nodded and repeated what he’d said
“Teenagers.”
After a moment of silence, Hongjoong spoke up
“How about (female student name, pleasant connotation)?”
The mood lifted immediately and everyone gave their own version of the word ��aww”
“She is the highlight of my whole day” you said
“Seriously she’s so polite and she tries so hard even when she’s having a hard time” Wooyoung agreed
“Super athletic too” San added
“Ooh and (male student name, pleasant connotation)?” you said to another chorus of agreement “He’s kind of a punk sometimes but he’s another one that always does his best”
Hongjoong smiled
Complaining was fun, but he loved the light in your eyes when you talked about the parts of the job that you loved
Anyway as I said it was November and the Before Christmas faction of teachers was starting to get nervous because there was no sign of anything happening
They saw you walk out together more than usual but they didn’t know that you were meeting up outside of school and stuff
The kids were also more riled up about it than usual
To the point where Hongjoong wondered if the other teachers were inciting chaos on purpose
It was getting bad enough that one of his classes almost failed a test across the board—on a unit about rounding and converting fractions to decimals of all things
As in the easiest math ever
So Mr. Kim had to resort to drastic measures
At the beginning of all his classes, he drew a box on the edge of the whiteboard
“This is the nonsense box” he explained with a teacherly smile
That is to say frustrated but still filled with love for his students
“Every time one of you is talking about anything that is not related to class, a tally mark goes in the box. Each tally mark represents an extra fifteen seconds you get to sit in your seat after the bell rings”
A chorus of protest arose
“I don’t want to hear it” Mr. Kim shook his head “How many of you are planning on retaking last Friday’s test?”
About half of the hands in the room came up sheepishly
“Exactly. It’s because we’re constantly off topic that no one is able to listen and learn in here. We can do better, okay?”
And then immediately from the back of the room
“Ooh, Miss (L/N) just passed in the hall!!!”
And chorus of “Ooooooh”
Whether it was true or not, Hongjoong was happy to draw his first tally mark without a word
Just that same teacherly smile
Another round of protest came and he drew another one
After the third tally mark, they shut up
“Good. Let’s talk about coefficients. Has anyone heard that word before?”
Once again I will say it was November
And the month after November is December
And December is the month of Christmas
Not just Christmas break
But Christmas itself
And that meant that Hongjoong now
After coming back from a brief Thanksgiving break
Had only a few weeks to find you a Christmas present
Now he wasn’t thoughtless like this wasn’t the first time it had crossed his mind
It had just stressed him out wondering if he would have the guts to confess his feelings for you or if he would be outed somehow first
Plus in case y’all didn’t know teaching (especially teaching around the holidays) is stressful
He just imagined Christmas as this far off date that was too good to ever come
And so he hadn’t even had time to think about what to get you
Something for your classroom?
Something for your home?
A cute accessory?
A fun math shirt?
Not a gift card though that was far too impersonal
Nothing seemed good enough for you
If he were to deliver his feelings with a gift like any of these, it felt insufficient
Most lunches the last bit of November and the first week of December
(If not spent pestering you)
He spent fretting over his Amazon cart with his head in his hands
And then the most unfortunate miracle occurred
The heaters toward the math hall decided working at full capacity was a waste of tax dollars
And the weather was shaping up to be quite uncomfortable
Everyone started to bring blankets and stuff but it was never quite enough
Your classroom was especially cold, since it was the farthest down the hall
So Hongjoong was gifted an opportunity
He went and found one of those soft and cozy electric blankets
In a color he assumed to be your favorite considering how much you wore it and how many of the little trinkets around your classroom were that color
And he packaged it like he had meant to give it to you for Christmas anyway
Then he brought it for you the next day
You were sitting at your desk in your full winter outdoor gear with a blanket that did look cozy but thankfully was not electric
And your teeth were practically chattering as you waved hello
He still hadn’t taken off his coat or his gloves either actually
He set the present on your desk
“I was saving this for Christmas but I think you might need it more now” he told you with a grin
Your curiosity was suddenly piqued
You opened the gift cautiously, glancing up at him every few seconds
But as soon as you felt the material of the blanket, you perked up
And upon discovering that it was electric you could have cried
“I haven’t been able to feel my fingers since last week” you told him gratefully “Seriously I was trying to figure out how many space heaters I would need to buy to survive the winter”
“The department head has one in her classroom” he said “If you grab your old blanket and your laptop then you can let your new blanket heat up here while we hang out over there”
What a beautiful suggestion
The department head raised her eyebrow at the two of you coming in with blankets
But she smiled too when she saw you settling down in front of her heater
“Don’t tell anyone” she said “but sometimes I take a nap over there during lunch”
“Oh I see exactly why” you agreed, sitting cross-legged and setting your computer in your lap “I can literally feel my bones thawing out”
Hongjoong settled down a respectable distance from you
But he thought someone else was pranking him when he felt a blanket drape over his shoulders
He looked around, startled, and then he realized it was the other side of your blanket
You had thrown your blanket over him to share, even though he had one of his own
And now you were pulling his arm to get him to scoot closer to you
Was this a dream??
He would not be happy if his alarm rang
But no it was real and he happily obliged
You were sitting shoulder to shoulder again
Just like at the professional development workshop
Except this time it was so warm and cozy and there was definitely a much less professional vibe
The department head raised her eyebrow at you once again
But Hongjoong was way too enamored with your shy smile to notice
After just a few minutes in this cozy little haven
Your time was unfortunately cut short
Not by students arriving to school
But by Wooyoung poking his head into the classroom
“Oh I’ve been looking everywhere for you guys”
He stepped into the classroom and greeted its owner accordingly
She nodded as if to allow him permission to enter
“They have hot chocolate down in the teachers lounge” Wooyoung informed them “I figured you icicles back here in the freezer rooms would want some but it looks like you were hiding a—” he looked down at the two of you skeptically “campfire back here”
Wooyoung clearly thought he meant something by that but no one else knew what he was trying to say
So his last comment went ignored
“Do you want hot chocolate?” Hongjoong asked you “I can go get some for us”
“No it’s okay I’ll go with you”
Oh Wooyoung saw exactly what was going on here
Hongjoong did not
Hongjoong was a little confused—was his help becoming an awkward burden to you?
While Wooyoung saw the truth
You just wanted the excuse to walk with him
Now Wooyoung had two choices
He could step back and let you two walk down together, maybe say something to speed this math teacher romance along
Or he could third wheel
And who was Wooyoung if he didn’t pass up the chance to annoy?
Plus he had taken an oath once he started collecting bets that he wouldn’t try to swing the competition one way or another
And since telling you about the hot chocolate while you were together felt like pushing the competition faster, it felt right to pull it back a bit by getting in between you for a few minutes
So he offered hands to both of you to help you off the floor
“Let’s all go together then” he said “You should also find out if your campsite director wants any”
“Campsite director?” Hongjoong asked, shutting his computer
You also closed your computer and set it aside, looking around to figure out who Wooyoung was talking about
“Your gracious host this morning” he clarified, giving the department head a charming little wave
You both took Wooyoung’s hands at the same time and almost pulled him down with you in the process of standing up
As you straightened your pants, you asked the department head if she wanted you to bring her back any hot chocolate, to which she responded yes please
Wooyoung insisted on walking in the middle
And Hongjoong wondered if all of the patience he had acquired as a middle school teacher was going to be spent on not wringing this guy’s neck this morning
Fortunately Mr. Jung acted enough like one of Mr. Kim’s students that he was able to pretend he was one and just let it go
Unfortunately by the time they got back to the department head’s classroom kids were starting to show up so that was the end of artificial campfire cuddle time
But there was a silent agreement as you picked up your blankets and computers that you would be doing this again sometime
The first few weeks of December didn’t necessarily fly by but they did go by quickly in hindsight if that makes sense
And before everyone knew it
Christmas break was upon you
And there was no further progression of the math department couple
The Before Christmas teachers had gotten antsier and antsier right up until the day before break started
But thankfully no one had been worried enough to interfere
Hongjoong decided to stay in his classroom that day
(As if he didn’t stay in his classroom every day)
Because people had been giving him disappointed looks all over the school and he was tired of it
Even the principal had made a trip to Hongjoong’s classroom the Friday afternoon before everyone left
Just to tell him how disappointed he was that he hadn’t had the guts to make a move even when he knew the principal’s precious money was on the line
And ask him if you were secretly dating already and just didn’t want to make a big deal about it
But ultimately to wish him luck and a nice break
A few minutes after he left, you popped into his classroom
You had your bag and your coat and it looked like you were ready to head home
“Are you so ready to get out of here?” you asked
He stopped immediately in the middle of his task and slammed his laptop shut
Contract hours had ended a whole minute ago and he had wasted a whole minute still doing work? On break?
“Say no more” he said, standing up and putting his coat on “We should have left five minutes ago”
“Wholeheartedly agree” you replied “I would have but the principal visited me and I felt like I had to look like I was doing something”
Hongjoong froze
The principal had visited you too?
Why?
For what purpose?
Betting purposes?
This technically didn’t still count as Before Christmas Break right?
“That’s weird haha he came and visited me too, like ten minutes ago” he said with the normalest most unbothered tone he could manage
(He tried)
(His voice was not quite an octave higher than usual)
(Which is considerable improvement since it’s usually an octave and a half)
“Maybe he’s just making rounds” you said with a shrug “It’s nice to see how much he cares about this school. Definitely one of the better principals I’ve worked with”
Hongjoong relaxed perhaps too visibly
“Yeah if you need a guy to have your back he’s got it no question”
“Anyway if you don’t have any plans for the day after Christmas you should spend it with me”
If Hongjoong had been drinking something he would have choked
Even if he’d had plans in the first place he would have canceled them for you
“My day is wide open” he said “As is almost all of my break”
You smiled and his stomach did a flip
He wondered if it was ever going to stop doing that
He hoped not
“Mine too. If you’re bored, you can probably text me and I won’t be doing anything”
Was it cringe that he was now looking for technically his second Christmas present for you?
Yeah maybe but that was his lifestyle now
To quote N.Flying’s Lovefool “if they call me a lovefool it’s okay as long as it’s for your sake”
Even if you didn’t see him that way that was A-Okay
Anyway he found some cute little math-themed trinkets like pi earrings and a right triangle pin that said “I’m always right”
Because actually who are math teachers if they don’t like puns
And the morning after Christmas Day he wrapped them up all nice for you
And he got ready to meet you at a little restaurant you now frequented together
But this was actually like the first time he was meeting you on a whole day off so he had to figure out how to dress not like a teacher but still kinda nice
He had no idea
All of his pants were teacher pants
His shirts? All teacher shirts
He was way too good at dressing for his job
So he wore jeans instead of his usual khakis and hoped that was different enough?
He also layered one of his graph paper teacher shirts with a plain t-shirt underneath and didn’t button it up
He looked himself up and down in his mirror, trying different poses to make sure he looked like a Normal Guy
In the end he decided his hair was the only issue
He only knew how to style it in a teacherly fashion
And leaving it unstyled wasn’t an option
So he looked up some tutorials on some easy styles but he just could not see himself as anything other than a math teacher
So he gave up and just prayed that he looked okay
You looked perfect of course
The difference was subtle in theory but the way you dressed, the way you did your hair and makeup, it made for a world of difference
Oh you looked so gorgeous he was never going to get over it
Your eyes practically sparkled when you met him out front and man he thought before that he couldn’t be more in love with you but he was wrong
You did seem a little more awkward today than usual and he couldn’t figure out why
Like you almost seemed nervous
What for? It was just him
You got your food and he suddenly remembered the gifts in his pocket
“Oh!” he exclaimed, pulling them out “I know I gave you the blanket a few weeks ago but I found these and I knew you had to have them. Merry double Christmas?”
You covered your mouth to hide your laughter and your bite of food
“That’s so funny because I found something for you too”
And you pulled a little package out of your bag
Down bad wasn’t even a good descriptor anymore and neither was head over heels like there had to be a stronger silly description of being in love and if there wasn’t it would have to be invented for him
You had found him a shirt that said “Math is hard. So is life. Get over it.”
(Tbh an actual shirt that I own)
And he promised you he would be wearing it the day you all got back from break
As for his silly little gifts you adored them
You put the pi earrings in immediately and started brainstorming what do do with the other things out loud
He could not have been happier with himself
And then you caught him staring at you
You paused in your excited little ramblings
He sat up a little straighter, wondering what to say next
But you smiled and looked down at your plate
“You’re pretty cute, you know that?” you told him, unable to meet his eyes for more than a second
In front of you, his first instinct was to deny the possibility and he followed it without thinking
“Eh, no I’m not—not in comparison to you, anyway”
Hmm if he wanted to keep his feelings secret then that was not the thing to say
But you deserved to know it
Not just cute but beautiful
Heartstoppingly so
You took the compliment well anyway
“Have you ever thought…” you began, trailing off
You watched him as he waited for you to continue, his eyes wide and curious
“Never mind” you dismissed with a casual wave of your hand
“No hey what were you going to say?” he asked
“Nothing I just had a weird thought for a second”
“No no come on! You know I wouldn’t judge you for anything”
You hesitated again and he could see that same nervousness he’d noticed before
“Have you ever thought…I don’t know” you put your elbows up on the table “of us as more than friends? Like dating maybe?”
Once again he was going to be very upset if his alarm clock went off now
But even if this was a dream, there was no harm in saying it out loud
“Every day since the day I met you” he answered honestly
You blinked like you didn’t believe him
“You’d better not be joking because I mean this like I’m risking our whole professional relationship here—”
And then he realized
You literally had no idea about him
Genuinely no clue that the whole school knew exactly how you had him wrapped around your finger
Except you
“—on the slightest chance that you might feel the same way—”
“Hey” he stopped you softly “I would never joke about how I feel about you”
Embarrassment began to set in for both of you
“Seriously,” he said, holding back a laugh, “you can ask any of my students, any of the teachers. I think you were the last one to find out that I have a massive crush on you”
“Oh no you’re kidding!” you exclaimed, your hands coming up to hide your face
“I really wish I were—Wooyoung has two rounds of bets going with the teachers about when and how we would end up dating. It’s just about me though—I don’t think anyone else knew about you”
You buried your face further in your hands
“That is so embarrassing” you whined “Seriously I might kill Wooyoung when we get back from break”
“I’ll help you” he promised
You ended up deciding to tell the other teachers on account of the bets they had placed on you
But you asked them not to tell the kids
Hongjoong was comfortable dealing with them at this point and he didn’t see the point in subjecting you to the attention he got about it
Speaking of the bets
No one won any of them technically
The two categories were before/after Christmas break and you notice/he confesses
And since you confessed during Christmas break well
As tempting as it would have been to say that you two deserved the money
(Especially on those teacher salaries)
You just made Wooyoung give it back to everyone who had put money down
And honestly? Very little about your at school dynamic changed
The kids still teased Hongjoong every day about his obvious soft spot for you
But he didn’t care because he knew better than they did anyway
You did actually start to notice now that kids were gossiping about you and Hongjoong
And it was really funny actually
Especially when he stopped by your classroom and the kids went dead silent watching you
Or when you left his classroom and you heard the kids explode with their weirdo little preteen comments from just outside in the hallway
Wooyoung insisted on telling you about every time you were mentioned in his classroom
This included the story about the girl rejecting a boy because quote no one can like anyone as much as Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N) enquote
And you about died from laughter and embarrassment
Because how had you missed every single sign thrown your way??
It was so obvious now that you were dating him and you knew why he spent as much time as physically and contractually possible in your classroom
Because like I said very little about your at school dynamic changed
He still treated you almost exactly the same way
Except now if you were having a bad day he could hug you and kiss you on the head and tell you that everything would be okay and you were a good teacher
And if he got cold he could come to your classroom and have you sit on his lap while you shared your blanket
You were very very careful with any displays of affection by the way like it was only behind a locked door that you would even dare
Because firstly unprofessional
A literal breach of the code of ethics more likely than not
And secondly what if the kids saw you???
The other teachers were whatever like you didn’t really want them to walk in on you either but at least they were other adults
But the kids???
There were already too many rumors flying around the school about you and they did not need a even whispering of confirmation
The end of that came of course when you got engaged like a year or so later idk and you showed up to school with a ring on your finger and the kids went wild
“Mr. Kim she has a ring!!!”
“Mr. Kim what are you going to do?? She’s gonna get married!!”
“Mr. Kim you must be heartbroken”
You had prepared for this together
You had known it was coming so you knew you had to be ready for the chaos it was going to cause
So you had decided that he would also start wearing a ring to match even before the wedding
So to all his very concerned students he got to hold up his hand and say in the coolest most chic manner possible
“And who do you think gave her the ring huh?”
It was like setting off a nuclear bomb of middle school gossip but it was so worth it
Anyway breaking the chronological flow going back in time because this needed to be the last scene
The cutest change with your at school dynamic now that you were dating was now you could exchange secret messages on sticky notes with the papers you traded
He started it by handing you a test key to check with a sticky note on the top that you assumed was a label for what the test was
But on closer inspection it was a pickup line
“The limit of my love for you is like the limit of 1/x as it approaches 0; it doesn’t exist”
So you wrote back on the same sticky note “well mine is like 1/x^2 and it approaches infinity so there” and handed it back to him once you checked his key
Not to be outdone he wrote you a new note
“Girl are you a 30° angle inscribed in a circle because you’re acute-y pi”
Oh that one was bad
You had to give him something worse
“If we’re both math teachers, how come we have so much chemistry?”
You handed him that one in between classes
And as he read it he had to disguise his sudden laughter as a cough because there were kids around and they didn’t need to be curious about what he was laughing at
His next sticky note had a crease down the middle horizontally
128√e980
You recognized it immediately but you folded it in half to reveal the secret message anyway
“I love you”
So you gave him back “I hope you like fractions because you’re my other half”
You stored all these away in a little file on your computer titled “Valentine’s Day Math Jokes”
Maybe for some future Valentine’s Day activity
But mostly just to keep them all somewhere safe where you could look at them any time you wanted
Without some kid being like “oooh Miss (L/N) whatcha lookin at”
Your favorite note from him was about as simple and dorky as they came
Much like Hongjoong himself actually
Simplify 2x+6i<2(x+9u)
First you distributed the 2 on the right
2x+6i<2x+18u
Then since there was a 2x on both sides, you could subtract them and cancel them
6i<18u
Then divide by 6
And the answer made you smile every time
i<3u
(so I know how I wrote this so fast actually. I just have a goal to write 250+ words every day and uh pretty much every day of the month of January ended up dedicated to this one. Someone said Math Teacher Hongjoong and I (graduated in December with a math teaching degree, student taught in a middle school for 4 months) went feral over it whoops)
Masterlist
#ateez#hongjoong#ateez x reader#hongjoong x reader#ateez fluff#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#atz#atz x reader#kim hongjoong
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How to cope with a bad grade (or a grade worse than your expectations)
Hello hello,
Cinna here! I am a third-year neural science major, so, needless to say, I had my share of academic failures. I am sure there are some people who managed to finish college with perfect grades, but, trust me, there aren't as many as you think. It's human to make mistakes! But it's also OK to be upset about your mistakes. Your value is not determined by your grades! Regardless, here are some tips and tricks to get things going after a big whoopsie daisy.
Give yourself some time to process: Does this mean crying? maybe. Blankly staring at a wall? Also possible. Let it sink in. This step can take a long time, don't feel guilty about the time spent. As I said, grades don't define you, and it is not the end of the world. BUT your feelings are valid! You are allowed to feel upset or even disappointed. Give yourself some time to do that but don't let your feelings about the situation define your feelings about yourself <3
Get a treat: Yeah yeah, so you messed up. But I usually allow myself some escapism before getting back on track. Watch an episode you have been waiting to watch after the exams. Get a cookie. Take a nap. Do SOMETHING that makes you secrete some serotonin.
Check your exam: Make sure to learn what you got wrong. It may feel like it is too late now, but it is NOT! Go speak to your TA or professor and learn what went wrong and why. This might be very valuable for the next exams! It also allows the teaching staff to see you are TRYING to improve. This can be a game changer for the final grade when they consider performance grades or if you ask for a recommendation letter.
Game plan: It happened. You faced it, you asked for help, and now it's time to plan how to improve. You don't have to follow each and every step but sketch out things to review and when. This will make you state your intention. Sometimes declaring you are gonna do something is more powerful than you think. It will also help you feel less overwhelmed when you are studying for the next exams.
The redemption arc: Be easy on yourself. A healthy amount of regret can push you forward, but don't let it burn you out. This is a marathon! If you are a stem student like me, chances are you have MANY midterms (too many, absolutely too many). This means you have your chance to fix this. Remember you haven't lost until you stop trying. Go ask for help from your friends. If they are at the same level of knowledge you can cross-examine the content to see if you are missing something. Trying to teach the content also helps you organize it better in your head which helps the learning process. If you are a lone wolf and don't like studying with others, try speaking to yourself aloud (it's not crazy behavior, sush). Stay hydrated and have healthy snacks around! Be consistent and hopeful. I'm sure things will go better during the next midterms. And if not, the other midterms. And if not, the other... midterms... GOd I have too many midterms...
I believe in you, buddy. You got this! Take some chubby pigeons that I found cute as a motivator (they believe in you too).
#studyblr#study motivation#studyspo#chaotic studyblr#study aesthetic#study blog#study notes#studyinspo#chaotic academia#study#studying#student#university#studies#student life#stem student#student mental health#mental health#academic pressure#academic validation#academic victim#academia#stem academia#dark academia#light academia#chaotic academic aesthetic#academic weapon#realistic studyblr#motivation#study motivator
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can we get a blurb on luke and reader from him and i?
Luke didn’t do it on purpose, really. He’s usually very attentive. He cares a lot about the Devs and their success, about the family Nico’s created.
But at the same, he is only human.
When he got up in the middle of the meeting it was just to go to the bathroom. He drank an ice coffee before it started and now his bladder was basically throbbing.
So he excused himself, ignored Nico’s gaze on him as he ducked out of the room during Jonas’s review of the bars profits this month. Luke doesn’t even need to know the profits. He doesn’t work at the bar. He just drinks there.
Afraid of being scolded for taking too long, he practically sprints down the hall, past the living room and kitchen. He’s rushing back down the hall to return to the meeting when he realizes you’re in the kitchen.
And something awfully good smelling is in there with you too.
Stomach rumbling, he peeks his head into the doorway. You’re at the island counter, a blue apron tied around your waist that reads “kiss the cook” in flowy, cursive letters.
A pot is boiling on the stove behind you, big, steaming bubbles releasing whatever that wonderful smell is into the air. Luke’s mouth waters. You finish chopping some carrots, picking up a tiny piece and reaching down to feed it to the drooling dog sitting politely by your feet.
If you’re willing to feed it to the dog, you’d feed it to him too. And he can be quick, just duck in, ask for a couple bites, and leave. He won’t miss much of the meeting, really.
“Hey,” he says sweetly, padding into the kitchen on soft feet. You look up, smiling across the island counter when you see him.
“Hi, you hungry?”
Oh, a girl after his heart, you are. Smiling innocently, he nods and slips into the bar stool across from you.
“That’s good because I’ve been learning new recipes all week and I think Nico is tired of eating them.”
You turn to the fridge, ducking down to grab a stack of containers and Luke’s mouth waters at the glimpses of beautiful cakes and desserts he catches.
“Who could ever get tired of your cooking?” He asks and he’s completely serious. Luke would take it to his grave, but he thinks your food is even better than his mom’s.
Scoffing, you dig a fork out of the drawer and slide him the tower of desserts. Luke is quick to pop open the first one, a beautiful slice of chocolate mousse cake greeting him.
He digs in, practically moaning around the bite and the dog toddles over to sit by him with big brown and begging eyes.
“So,” you drag out expectantly, clasping your hands together. “What do you think?”
~~~~
“Where the fuck is Luke?”
Bratter shrugs, looking around the room for the youngest Hughes boy but coming up empty. Nico had seen him leave 30 minutes ago, assuming the kid was just popping out for a moment.
Now it looks like he’s ditched the whole meeting.
Nico scoffs, leaving Timo to finish up closing remarks and exiting the room. He’s immediately stopped by the smell of whatever you’re cooking up in the kitchen, and knows exactly where Luke is.
The kid can eat three times his body weight in food a day, and even then have room for snacks.
Moving to the kitchen, he’s not at all surprised to find Luke sat at the counter with you feeding him every bit of leftovers from the fridge.
“Hughes,” Nico barks, meaner than he actually should be but sometimes he’s gotta scare this kid or he’ll never listen. Luke straightens out, whipping around in the chair to look at Nico with wide, terrified eyes.
He’s got a fork hanging out of his mouth, some kind of frosting smeared in the corner. The kid starts mumbling something through his mouthful, tripping over his words and Nico slips further into the room.
“Oh don’t do that,” you beg, interrupting Nico’s scolding with those bright and beautiful eyes he loves so much. “He’s just a kid Nico and he was hungry.”
Pretending to be annoyed, Nico crosses his arms over his chest. Unfazed, you pad up into him with that cute little apron tied around your frame and your hair in a messy clip on your head. You smell like good food and something warm, settling into the crevices of his lungs with familiarity.
He can’t be mad at you. Not when you’re looking at him like that and you’re so sweet to want to feed all the boys.
And fuck Nico for the way he suddenly falls to his knees every time you get motherly with the boys.
“Oh he was?” Nico goads and you run your palms up his chest, smiling prettily.
“How’s he supposed to learn if he’s hungry? He won’t be able to focus.”
Nico sighs, looking over at Luke who’s still slowly picking at the food in front of him. “Wash the dishes when you’re done.” He instructs, and Luke smiles gratefully, nodding.
“Boss,” he asks shyly, “can I stay for dinner?”
“No,” Nico says at the same time you coo “Of course you can Lukey!”
Luke’s gaze flickers between both of you, but Nico knows where he stands on this one so he dips his head in defeat.
Your smile widens so Nico can’t actually count this as a loss.
“Whatever,” he agrees, “I gotta a meeting to finish up.”
#mob boss nico hischier#him and i#him and i blurb#him and i chats#nico hischier#nico hischer x reader#devils mafia au#new jersey devils
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the notes... the notes....
they start off so sweet. art almost thought it wasn't meant for him until the second one showed up. the first one showed up on his gym bag. he'd left it on the bleachers. inside is a full page of just saccharine praise and admiration and a rave review of him. i learned about tennis just for you. you're so beautiful out there, so beautiful period. i've never seen someone like you. it's like watching and angel. the praise fills him up so much that he can't notice the glaring concerns. i know you're gonna be one of the greatest. you won't forget me then, will you? i don't know if i could live if you did. it's just the start of his fan mail.
the notes seem to follow him. it's not just on his gym bag. it's under his door, on his car windshield, the seat he always sits in for this class, and in his locker in the locker room (that's when he starts to get a little concerned). he knows he should throw them away. that he should be creeped out and disgusted even but... he likes them. he finds himself excited instead of scared when he spots the familiar envelope. they comfort him.
he loses a match and goes to a party to blow off steam. when he returns to his car, there's a note and a bag from a nearby store. his favorite candy inside. you go on and on on the note about how he was wronged. you were so amazing out there. those people know nothing. that asshole will get what he deserves. don't be upset baby, mommy will make it all better. your still the best. still my favorite. he finds himself re-reading the notes when he's upset. it doesn't reach him that the guy he lost to had his tires and windows smashed.
he isn't sure how to handle it at first when your notes become lustful. you'd never hid your affection for him. i mean, the back of your letters were always covered in kiss marks. but then you mention how turned on watching him play makes you. can't resist it for long, have to get my fingers inside me soon enough. you just sound so good. when you groan or when you curse. are you like that in bed? how you just know you could make him feel good. feel better than any other girl could make him including that fucking bitch girl he's "dating" (because in reality, he's dating you). i would never let anyone else touch me. won't use anything other than my fingers because i want to save myself for you. i'm only yours even if your confused about being mine.
art knows they shouldn't turn him on but he can't help it. finds his cock getting hard while he reads them. it's even worse when you start sending him polaroids of your tits and cunt. you look so slick in the photos, some your just spreading yourself open for him and others your fingers are inside of you. art feels guilty when he jerks off to them but he always adds them to the little box where he saves everything you've sent him.
- ☕
i literally had a dream about this that's how insane i am about being arts little creep <33
he keeps them in a shoebox under his bed - if anyone found it he'd say hes 'collecting evidence' to turn you in but really its because they mean something to him. he reads them on days when he cant even leave his room he feels so shitty, the sweet notes that tell him how amazing he is. you dont know it, and its oddly touching, but you've gotten him through the worst of his self hatred - the days where he could fucking shrink in on himself and fade into nothing, and then he reads your notes and he remembers there's someone out there who thinks this highly of him. who sees him and likes him - it gets him out of bed. he finds himself hoping that if you're having a bad day - that seeing him out and about is enough to cheer you up.
Its like this weird kind of bond that form even though he doesn't fucking know you. you become codependent anyway. he finds himself wondering about you more and more, in lectures, he'll idly glance around the room and wonder if any of the people his eyes bounce over could be you - he wonders if there's something about you that would give you away if he really really studied each and every person around him.
one day his eyes do land on you - you're taking notes because to stalk art you have to actually stay in college which means you do have to learn and study, unfortunately - and you feel his eyes on the side of your face, and you burn up inside. your palm starts sweating and you're half panicked half excited, is he gleaning anything? what is he thinking when he looks at you? you want to know so fucking badly. but you dont look up - sure that if you did you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from communicating everything with your gaze. and its not time.
what art is thinking is - you're cute. he hasn't really noticed you before, but he thinks you have a cute nose. he notes a birthmark next to your mouth. he thinks the glitter pen you're writing with is endearing. but you dont look up at him, so you're not his girl (his girl, when had he started thinking that?) - and he looks away, the small moment fades from his mind by the end of the lecture.
and when you start sending him pictures - he can't help it. there's been a worry, of course, that his stalker could very well be some greasy man or someone completely grotesque - but, god. the gleam of your cunt - the way your pretty fingers hold yourself open - he can see your little clit -
the note makes him groan i can't hold back anymore. i want you to see what you do to me - its not enough just to tell you. you make me so wet. i dont even have to warm up for it just thinking about you is enough to get me messy enough that my fingers just slide in. just my fingers though, i promise. i want my hymen to be broken on your cock - i want you to be my first. i belong to you.
beats his dick raw to the picture you send him over the weeks and eventually it gets to the point where he's wondering if he can take this - he feels insane - really insane - he thinks about writing you back. about putting a note of his own in the places you always leave one for him, so that when you go to put it there - you'll see his.
he thinks better of it. talks himself out of it. jerking off to pictures of your pussy you willingly send is one thing - actively engaging with you is a whole other ballpark. unless it was to tell you to leave him alone, there's absolutely no reason to. he'd be telling you its okay - he'd be enabling this obviously concerning behavior. he wont do it.
its just. you said you'd do anything for him. anything at all. would you send him a video, if he asked? would you show him more of you? he's been thinking about what your fingers would look like pumping in and out - the sounds of your pussy - if you said his name - would you get into degrading positions for him? how far would you go while still concealing your identity?
he doesn't need to know. it'd be fucking deranged to push you.
but you said you'd do anything. he's your prince, isn't he? if he wants to see more you'd have to listen. you'd have to.
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Three Times You Tried to Confess to Sanji and The One Time That You Did
A/N: I wrote a similar thing for Law here!! Pairing: Sanji x Reader CW: Mild Zou and WCI spoilers in the first section. WC: 1210
Clutching the letter tightly in your hands, you wanted to express what your heart couldn't openly confess. The words written onto the paper were your unspoken declaration, a small piece of paper holding all of the feelings you held for the cook of the Straw Hat Pirates.
You carefully reviewed each line, making sure the content truly reflected your emotions. The air was thick with a mix of anticipation, longing, and anxiety. Carrot, your new friend, offered reassurance and support, reassuring you that your feelings have been properly expressed in the letter. After moments of contemplation, seeking comfort and determination in the bunny's encouragement, you finally decided to seek out Sanji, determined to offer this expression of your unvoiced affection.
You made your way across Zou, your steps filled with a sense of urgency and purpose, searching every nook and cranny, hoping to find Sanji. But to your dismay, you discovered that he had left. The news hit you like a sudden gust of cold wind, a cruel twist that left you reeling in disbelief and despair. And to add to the heartache, you overheard the news of Sanji's impending marriage. It was a bitter blow, a cruel irony that twisted the knife in your heart.
Tears streamed down your face, your emotions raw and uncontainable. The devastating realization, leaving you in an immense amount of anguish. The letter now felt like an unbearable burden. With trembling hands, and tears clouding your vision, you crumpled the letter, feeling the weight of your shattered hopes, and tore it to pieces. The shreds of your unspoken love fluttered to the floor, scattered remnants of your heart's confessions now reduced to a pile of shreds at your feet.
-
-
-
This time, you tried to take a more direct approach. You had planned your words, rehearsed your confession, and prepared yourself to finally confess your feelings for Sanji. You found him in the kitchen, in the middle of preparing dinner for the crew. The conversation started off casually, but as you attempted to lead into your confession, your nerves began to show, evident in your fidgeting and the trembling of your voice.
"Sanji, there's something I wanted to tell you," you began, your heart racing. His interest piqued, and he looked over at you, ready to hear what you had to say. However, in a cruel twist of fate, as you stepped forward, your elbow accidentally knocked over a pot of boiling water, causing the scalding water to spill onto your arm. Pain shot through you, and all thoughts of your confession dissipated instantly, replaced by the searing sensation now engulfing your arm.
Sanji's immediate concern was for your well-being. He rushed to your side, his worry evident, as he hurriedly tended to your burn, calling out for Chopper to assist. The intense pain and his genuine concern overshadowed any romantic confessions, leaving you both preoccupied with the physical injury and his genuine care for your well-being. The moment had been abruptly replaced by the urgent need to tend to your burn, the confession buried under the weight of unexpected physical pain.
-
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-
What better way to confess your feelings to Sanji than through a meal? The plan was set, and it was to cook a nice dinner, ending with a special dessert that held a hidden message. You wrote the phrase "I love you" in melted chocolate on the dessert. Everything was unfolding perfectly.
The dinner had gone well, the two of you savoring every bite, yourself being filled with anticipation for the dessert. Finally, the moment arrived, and you placed the dessert in front of Sanji, the plate concealed beneath a dome. He lifted the cover, revealing the sweet treat, and while his initial reaction indicated he found it visually appealing, it was far from the reaction you had hoped for.
Sanji complimented the dessert's appearance, but his response was far from what you had expected. Your heart sank as you leaned over to inspect your chocolate message, only to discover that it had melted, losing its distinct form. What was meant to be a declaration of love had transformed into an abstract, artistic scribble that was virtually indecipherable.
Behind a beaming smile that masked your disappointment, you watched as Sanji grew more eager to taste the dessert, oblivious to the hidden message. It seemed that fate had conspired to keep your feelings hidden for yet another day.
-
-
-
You stood there in the kitchen, a delicate bouquet of tulips clasped in your hands, each petal a silent symbol of the depth of your feelings for Sanji. The vendor had assured you that this bouquet was the perfect way to declare your love, even gifting you a book filled with the language of flowers. Your plan was set: presenting these flowers to Sanji would be your confession.
The day had seemed blissful, the earlier battles resolved, the air filled with the anticipation of revealing your emotions. You were waiting in the kitchen, the tulips held tenderly, ready to make your heartfelt gesture. But fate had other plans.
A call disrupted the tranquility, a frantic Usopp on the Den Den Mushi urgently relaying an unforeseen incident on the island. In that split second, the bouquet, the flower book, and other non-essential belongings slipped from your hands and onto the kitchen counter. Without hesitation, you sprinted out of the kitchen, the impending battle calling for your attention.
The flowers lay forgotten, as you rushed to join your crewmates on the island, focused on the imminent conflict. The confession you had longed to make would have to wait for another day. After all, in that moment, surviving to tell him of your feelings took precedence over all else.
…
After the battle, the crew wearily made their way back to the ship. Upon boarding, Sanji immediately headed to the kitchen to prepare a comforting feast for everyone, a way to refuel both their bodies and spirits. As he stepped into the kitchen, his eyes landed on the bouquet of tulips.
Intrigued, Sanji approached the flowers, admiring their beauty and inhaling their sweet fragrance. Carefully, he took the bouquet into his hands, running his fingers over the soft petals. His attention was then drawn to a small tag attached to the flowers, bearing his name. He was taken aback, wondering, These are for me?
The sight of the flower language book nearby further deepened his curiosity. He flipped through its pages until he landed on the section dedicated to tulips. As he read the page, a realization began to dawn upon him. Tulips were a declaration of love. He furrowed his brow, his mind racing to identify who could have gotten him the tulips.
Then, his gaze fell upon the scattered belongings near the tulips. He recognized them as your belongings. A sudden revelation struck him. These tulips, the very flowers that symbolized a declaration of love, were from you.
A rush of emotions overwhelmed him.. He was left almost speechless, clutching the bouquet, his heart racing with the knowledge that you reciprocated his feelings. He could barely contain his happiness. Filled with a new sense of determination, Sanji marched out of the kitchen, eager to find you and to show you that your love did not go unheard.
#one piece#one piece x reader#vinsmoke sanji#vinsmoke sanji x reader#black leg sanji#sanji#sanji x reader#one piece sanji
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10th floor, ceo!sungchan x reader
! blowjob, sir kink?
you arrange your shirt nervously, your leg bouncing on the wooden floor. you really need that job. you already went through two interviews, but the company you applied is quite luxurious, and after meeting managers and the head of the human ressources, you were urged to meet the ceo. you heard he was the one actually making decisions for the workers, and he's the last wall between you and that very important job.
even though you know the famous company by name, you never heard of jung sungchan. the young owner inherited everything from his father after his passing, making a huge difference in the harsh business environment due to his age. the company never flourished this well since sungchan's new ceo position. all you could recall from the words of the managers is that he's great at making people fall for him and his traps to make his wealth grow bigger.
your appointment with sungchan is planned in less than 10 minutes. you're early, and now the time seems like it's ticking slowly enough for you to die at least twice on the chair. the corridor that's connected to sungchan's office is quiet and you could only hear your -almost- steady breathing and the faint voice of a man on the other side of the door.
your eyes travel the papers in your hands, the review letters from your past interviews, you read the positive sentences over and over again. you believe in yourself for this job. you almost jump from the chair when you hear the doorknob then the door open. your eyes meet jung sungchan's, and you immediately get what the workers you met meant when they told you the ceo makes all the heads spin.
he's much taller than you expected, an annoyingly pretty face with serious yet soft eyes, a faint smile making him look even sweeter. sungchan steps out of his office and stands in front of you. you immediately get up from the chair.
"i think we have a little interview together, right?"
"yes... sir... i'm here for the job."
"i heard about you, the managers gave me great feedbacks. you're quite a pretty thing."
the words get stuck in your throat, your eyes flutter and sungchan chuckles at your reaction. he opens the door and invites you inside, closing it safely behind you. you stand up awkwardly in the office as sungchan sits down on his luxurious chair and sighs. he shifts himself on the soft material of the chair, and point the seat in front of his desk with his head.
"sit down."
sungchan doesn't need to ask you twice. you sit down and put in front of him the review letters from the different staffs. the silence feels awkward to you, your eyes travel around the room everywhere but in front of you to avoid the ceo's gaze. sungchan is focused on you, massaging his large hands. finally the silence is broken by his voice, and you dare to look at him again. sungchan had opened his tight shirt a little and loosened his tie, and is now looking right at you with a much more serious stare.
"tell me pretty, how much do you need that job?"
you take a moment to think about what to answer. the switch of behavior of the tall man makes you grow more nervous and your face feels hot. you should tell him the truth but won't you sound too desperate?
"answer me when i ask a question."
"i really.... really need that job sir... i have been wanting to work there for so long, i really want it."
"much better when you reply like that. come stand here, pretty."
you take a deep breath and stand up. sungchan's gaze is almost burning you, you can feel it from the tip of your fingers to your chest and face, down your thighs... the ceo sits back in his chair, his legs comfortably parted.
"i think we can help each other out, hm? your pretty face helps me with my problem and i'm sure i can find a nice place for you in the company."
"...excuse me..?"
"don't do that pretty... show some interest in what your boss is asking you..."
sungchan's tone drips like honey into your ears. one of his hand rubs his thigh slowly while he rests his chin on the other one with his gaze so heavy on you. each step you take closer to him make the bulge straining his pants grow larger. sungchan scoffs at your slow moves, his hand rubbing himself over his clothes.
"you know... being such an important person is so much stress... i'm sure you can help out, right? you must do everything i say if you want to work for me, hm."
you slowly drop on your knees in front of him, your hands on his thighs and your face so close to the throbbing bulge. sungchan's smirk grow wider, his hands unbuckling his belt but not opening his pants. he trails his finger down your jaw and hold your chin with the tip of it.
"tell me pretty... want to help the boss out?"
"...yes."
sungchan's smile drops and his voice gets lower.
"yes who?"
"yes sir."
"good."
you nervously let your hands travel sungchan's thighs, earning a low sigh from him. you unbutton his pants, opening it enough to show his strained underwear, the hot bulge twitching under your fingers. you press your palm between sungchan's legs and he groans at your touch, one of his hand finding its place in your hair.
you lick your lips and finally tug on sungchan's underwear slowly, you free his hard cock that stands proudly in front of your face. you caress the veiny length experimentally, and sungchan put his hand around yours to make you hold his dick, making you pump him a little.
he holds the base of his cock with both yours and his hand, he pushes the leaking and red tip on your lips eagerly. you give a lick on the slit as more precum drips on your tongue, and sungchan finally lets go of your hand. he rests himself on his chair, fingers tangled into your hair. when you finally take him into your mouth, a low moan escapes from his throat.
"j-just like that pretty..."
encouraged by his words, you take him deeper, your tongue swirling around his length and tracing the veins. sungchan gets more noisy, breathy groans coming out of his parted lips. his closed eyes open to look at you when you bob your head and take your time on the head of his cock. more praises fall from his tongue and his fingers tug on your hair to bring you closer.
you cough around his dick. you take him away from your mouth and jerk him off, putting all your attention on his throbbing tip that seems ready to explode any minute. you push your thumb on the slit and coat the head of his cock with the sticky fluid. more impatient to find his place back into your hot mouth, sungchan push on your head until his cock hits your face. you open your lips and let him inside, his tip hitting far into your throat as sungchan tug on your hair a little more harshly.
"fuck... keep going..."
the ceo's hips buck into your mouth pushing him deeper inside. you almost gag around him and hold the base of his dick in your hand, rubbing it quickly while you drag your tongue up and down. the way sungchan's groans grow louder and heavier make you speed up, you look up to meet his half opened eyes. his chest heaves to a fast yet steady rhythm, his unbuttoned shirt showing his glistening chest.
you suck on his tip and you feel sungchan's grip on your hair tighten, his two hands holding your head in place while he pushes his hips into you face. you can feel drool dripping from your chin mixed with his cum that erupts into your throat. you move your head slowly to make sure you don't miss a single drop of his bitter fluid before letting go of his now softening dick.
you lick your lips and you feel sungchan's thumb rub on your chin gently, wiping away the spit that coats your skin. sungchan grabs your cheeks and drag you up until you're close of his face. he meets your lips in a sweet kiss, mixed with the taste of his cum. the ceo releases you from his grip and puts back his clothes, buttoning his pants and tucking his shirt back inside.
"so good to me... you did so well pretty."
you sit back on the other side of the desk and sungchan takes the papers that you dropped in front of him. he quickly go through the praises and good reviews from his workers with a smile, looking at you from behind the letters.
"i guess i have a new coworker. you did such a good job. but i expect much more from you starting from today, understood?"
"yes sir."
sungchan work that gets released before eunseok work sorry.... got inspired by the riize court and someone's request, please enjoy :3 eunseok is next, then wonbin!
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Guileless
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon, manipulation, dejection, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: The reader attempts to move past her ruination, but is reminded of her tarnish conscience at every turn. (Regency AU, tall!reader)
Masterlist
Character: Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson
Note: thanks to those who waited on this one!.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)
Love you like I love coffee and that’s a lot and probably unhealthy. Take care. 💖
It should be the happiest time in your life. You should be elated, and yet, as ever it is, every victory precedes a treacherous defeat. A proposal one day, and despair the next. That nipping of doom in your gut, that ever present doubt, is made certain by the passage of time. It has been much too long.
You sit in the pews, throat tight as you keep your chin locked. You breathe slowly, as if too sudden an intake might unleash the tempest brewing inside of you. It is more than nerves, you know it, that sicken you so. You should be happy for your pending nuptials but you are only horrified at the thought.
The bishop reads out the banns before the rows; the first for yourself, the third for your sister. She will be permitted to wed and your mother has presided over much of planning already. You dip your head as your name rings out beside Lord Odinson’s and you swallow back a swell of bile. You’ve been gulping down your own stomach for much of the morning, ever since you caught a whiff of pickled shallots in passing the kitchens.
You push your head up and your hand down to your lap, knowing you will be observed. You must at least look certain of your fate. You must sit proud for the engagement all would put into question. For the time until it shall all dissolve, you must play your part.
You can barely keep from wilting where you are. A prudent woman might bite her tongue. She may commit to the theatre of it all. She might lie and get away with the folly. You glance over at Lord Odinson, just across the aisle, and you know you cannot. It isn’t one lie, it’s a lifetimes’ worth of betrayal.
Yet how should you tell it? It isn’t only him who must know. Your father would need good reason why you’d rather the convent to a proper marriage. You will be ruined but you could not put that stain upon the only person who was ever kind to you. Lord Odinson deserves an honest wife and a child of his own.
Your insides sour and you nearly spasm as you fight the tide of nausea, brought upon by more than your forsaken condition. Your eyes trail away from your betrothed to another man bound in promise. Lord Rogers sits with your sister, as ever, and she leans on him shamelessly, even beneath the Lord’s rafters.
She would deny it. She would laugh in your face should you ever reveal the absolute truth. No, you must confess the sin as your own and that alone. You will not name the culprit for they would they never believe you and he would never admit it himself.
Yet, you know that the Duke Rogers will ever be triumphant in knowing that he has brought the monstrous giant to her knees. You are his Goliath, the vile retched creature he has slain in his valour. He will be hero and you be the villain.
💟
You hand the letter to the carrier just before noon. You don’t expect an audience to be granted until the next morning at earliest. Lord Odinson is a busy man; an ambassador in much demand between the house and society. Even his betrothed must request his presence.
The cart rattles through the gates and you watch it fade off into the grim horizon. The winter bites in the air, adding to the chill in your bones. That coldness that freeze over your heart. You must be strong now, as strong as the valkyrie he misnamed you as.
When you go to Lord Odinson, you will bring the crown to him. You will hand it back and admit your tainted stature to him. You will show him how truly small you are.
At least, that is what you intend. You may prove yourself weak as ever. However it should unfold, this engagement cannot persist.
“A day! A day and I shall call you husband,” Cora’s shrill tone greets you as you come through the front doors. She is in the sitting room with Lord Rogers. Your mother continues to fawn over the last-minute details for their wedding. “Isn’t it very exciting, my lord?”
“And I shall call you wife.”
“And Duchess,” she preens with a trilling laugh, “oh, how elaborate I shall be.”
“My Athena,” Rogers drones back, “my goddess, my beloved.”
“Oh, how darling,” your mother preens over them, “it shall be resplendent. I’ve made certain the cake will be exactly as you like it, dearie. The cook has even procured some citrus for the lemonade.”
The mention of lemonade makes you shrivel. You recall the sunny day when Lord Rogers spoke to you over a weeping beverage. As you fell for that virulent charm. And all that came after.
You peer at the grim windows and frown. How everything does change so quickly. Happiness is fleeting and yet disappointment comes as a chronic plight. You will never know a day without shame.
You flit off without notice. Your heart rents at the thought that you will not have the same fervour. You will not sit and plan your own wedding with Lord Odinson. All your fanciful dreams have evaporated. It is one thing to put a mask on, to pretend as virgin, but you could never foist a bastard upon the kind man who has shown you a taste happiness. You will be certain to thank him for all he’s done but you will not spit in his face.
As you get to the bedroom doors, your stomach churns violently and you burst through, not stopping as you rush to the pot and fall to your knees. You wretch into it as your body contracts painfully. You empty your stomach until you are panting and hollow.
“Sister,” Alina startles you as she rolls to the edge of the bed, a novel in hand, “is it a winter ague?”
“I...” you shakily wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, “I believe so.”
That lie alone singes your tongue like a brand. Your eyes well with tears and you flick them away with your lashes. You sit back on your heels and heave out a pungent breath.
“Oh, how awful, and just before the wedding,” she sits up and shuts the novel. “Let us pray it passes quickly. You needn’t delay your own nuptials.”
“Mm, no, that wouldn’t be...” you let the sentence tail off and you stand, taking the pot with you, “I’ll dump it before it can stink.”
“If you are unwell, call for the maid.”
“No, it is fine,” you insist, “I didn’t mean to disturb your reading.”
“You didn’t,” she insists. “What’s the matter, sissie? You hardly seem a lady about to marry.”
“I...” you croak, “it is the ague, that’s all.”
“Mm, perhaps Lord Odinson might offer some comfort should it get any worse. He does seem the character,” she offers.
“Or perhaps he is better to stay away. You as well, should it pass onto anyone else,” you hold the pot to your stomach and turn, carrying it out without another word. Albina huffs and falls back onto the bed, the flutter of pages following shortly after.
You descend and keep along the wall, passing through the kitchens and beyond the servants’ quarters to the rear of the manse. You come out into the crisp air and overturn the pot well away from the house. A wave of dizziness washes over you, silver spots dotting your vision. Perhaps it is an ague. Oh how you wish it were.
You set the pot down as you grasp at some stability. You stand and wipe your clammy forehead. Your hand drifts down to your bodice and you let it venture further. You try to feel your stomach through the layers. It is tauter than it once was but no rounder. Not as yet.
You sit on a low stump, the seat the stabler uses to shoe the horses. You let the frigid air seep through your dress and stare at the grey clouds that blot out the sun. You hold your chin, elbows on your legs, hunched over as you let the stagnancy of that moment swallow you.
For a moment, you believe that you can make time stand still. That you might stretch on this fantasy a little longer. That a single second might be spent into an eternity. You shake your head and close your eyes as your cheeks tingle with the cold.
You try to picture the convent. You imagine dark halls and darker mornings. Prayers and repentance filling the days and keeping wakeless the nights. Would the nuns even accept a ruined soul like yours?
“Miss,” Mary, the broom girl, stands along the path back to the house, “you have a caller.”
You sit up and blink, a caller? How long have you been there? You shiver and rise, towering over the young servant like the mottled forest creature of wives tales. You nod and stride past her, rubbing your arms to warm yourself as you return to the house.
It cannot be him. Not already. You’re not prepared. It has been all you can think of and yet you are wholly unready for it.
You carry on inside and come into the main hall. Lord Odinson waits, your mother chittering at his elbow as Lord Rogers and Cora stand in the archway to the west wing.
“You will be at the wedding tomorrow? We did not receive your response sir,” your mother pleads as she tugs his sleeve.
“Ah, yes, did I not give it?” Odinson says coolly, “certainly I will come with some Asgardian ale to christen the blissful newlyweds.”
“And we thank you for such generosity,” Cora coos.
“I’m certain refreshments will be plenty,” Lord Rogers deflects.
“Ah,” Lord Odinson’s attention is drawn by your emergence from behind the staircase, “my valkyrie, you called for me and I am here.”
“I... you have come so... swiftly,” you remark, your voice teetering.
“Of course,” he assures as he crosses the polished floor, “as ever I will for my beloved.” He approaches and takes your hands in his, kissing your knuckles, “you are like ice,” he feels your hands and covers them with his gloved ones, “are you ill?”
“No, uh, yes, no,” you stammer, “sir, I only meant... I only thought to speak with you.”
“I do cherish the tenor of your sweet voice, lady, I would ride so fast as I might to hear it,” he assures.
“You rode... all this way, my lord?”
“I do prefer to be in a saddle,” he affirms, “so, shall we converse? Perhaps we might have some tea to warm you, my valkyrie.”
“Please,” you cringe, wishing he would quit his honeyed words, “I do not require it. Perhaps somewhere private...”
“With chaperone of course,” your mother insists. You blanch but do your best not to show your unease. “Pollo! Pollo!” She claps, “forgive me I will not be able to do so myself as I have much to attend to for the morrow, but we have a groom here... Pollo!”
She cries out and the dark-haired man appears. The old groom has a round belly and wine-reddened cheeks. He doesn’t speak more than Italian but he is steadfast in his service. Your mother bids him, pointing at you, then shoos him with a flick of her fingers.
He shrugs and bows his head, nearing you and the duke. You peer over at your sister and Lord Rogers as they watch. The former stares at your betrothed as he clings still to your hands and the latter narrows his eyes in your direction. Just the sight of him makes you even more sick than before. Of any, he cannot know though you expect should Cora find out, it will not be a secret.
“The sun room, perhaps,” Odinson suggests.
“As you wish,” you agree.
He offers his arms and you accept it. He guides you along, well-acquainted to the halls already, and takes you around to the sun room. The curtains are closed and the space is dim with the shadow of winter. The groom claims the armchair in the corner, making it groan with his weight, as another servant follows to light a lamp and put flint to the fireplace.
When all is lit, you detach from Odinson and retreat from him. You mash your hands together and sway, spinning back to face him as he watches you intently. He seems unbothered by the spontaneity of it all.
“You missed me? I have longed to see you again,” he beams.
“Please,” you show your palms, “please, I... we must speak.”
“Of? Name anything and it shall be yours. As my wife, you will never want for anything, valkyrie.”
You wince as if struck. You drop your arms and your head. You stalk over to the bench that looks toward the window and sit, slumped forward as you shake your head. He approaches as he lets out a long exhale. He sits beside you.
“Something is amiss. Forgive me for making light, I came upon mistaken sentiment,” his voice is grave, “you have something to say and I must listen. As ever, I am the storm but these winds have calmed.”
You rock and another hot tinge settles behind your eyes. You roll them up and sit straight. You crane to see over your shoulder. Rollo’s eyes are closed as he’s halfway to sleeping. It is propriety alone that has him sat in that chair.
You look ahead once more, “I cannot marry you.”
He sucks in air and snorts, “what?”
“I cannot—it cannot—I'm sorry, Lord Odinson.”
“Why ever should you change your mind? The banns are read and will be again,” he touches your arm and you shy away.
“You deserve... better.”
“I deserve you,” he insists.
“Please, sir, let me find the words,” you beg touch your temples as you try to rein in your wits. You close your eyes and shudder.
“You are cold still, perhaps you might move closer to the fire--”
“It hardly matters,” you lower your hands and clutch them tight.
You make yourself look at him. You must. He warrants at least the truth told to his face and not the floor. His blue eyes twinkle as his usually bright face is stern.
“I am...” you take a breath and struggle to let it back out as the words burn the tip of your tongue, “I... am with... child.”
You choke out the last word and nearly faint. You stare at him, waiting for him to explode. You mightn’t even have a say in who knows should he speak too loudly. His eyes search yours and he blinks. He turns his face down and looks at his lap, gripping his thighs as he nods and hums.
“That’s wonderful,” he says.
“Pardon?”
“Yes, it’s wonderful. We’ll have a child.”
“Sir, I—we haven’t... it is another man’s,” you feel as if you shouldn’t have to explain this.
“Why certainly he put it there, yes, but I would claim it,” he faces you again.
Your eyes round, “why should you do that? That isn’t... proper. I am not proper, sir. I am telling you that I have been... corrupted. I should never have said yes.”
“But you did.”
“You needn’t-- it isn’t fair.”
“Perhaps it isn’t fair that you should have to carry the cad’s seed,” he agrees, “for any many who would lay with a lady and not seek her hand, well, he can be nothing else.”
You’re quiet as disbelief clouds around you. He can’t possibly mean it. He must be in shock. Certainly, he wouldn’t just accept another’s child.
“Sir, you shouldn’t-- you shouldn’t do this. I am releasing you.”
“I don’t want to be released,” he says sullenly.
“Why? Why would you do this?” You ask.
“I meant all I said to you, from the first breath, my valkyrie,” he proclaims. “And I mean it still.”
“But, sir, you cannot—I cannot live with myself--”
“You are honourable. Honest. You have told me this when you did not need to. When you could’ve claimed an early birth, when you could have kept quiet, yet you did not. That says more than a fleeting tryst. For that’s what it was, yes? Or do you lay with this man still?”
You shake your head and look down at your fingers as you twists them until they hurt, “just once. Only once. It was... unplanned. It wasn’t...” your voice cracks.
His chest inflates with a sonorous breath, “did you want it?”
“Pardon?” You murmur.
“Unplanned... did you... was it... your tryst, was it willing?”
You put your fist to your mouth and sob. You can’t say it. You won’t. You replay it in your head every night and you think of how you told him to stop and yet you did not stop him. You should have fought more. You should have screamed.
“I didn’t make him stop,” you eke around your hand.
“Make him? Did you ask him to begin?”
“Please, sir, I cannot—please just end this and I will ask my father for the convent once more. I cannot bring this shame on you.”
“Shame? Shame is the man, if I should call him that, who has done this,” he snarls and reaches for you, taking your hand. “I swore you would be my wife and I will hold to that. As you swore to be my wife. We will see the altar together. As one.”
“You do not have to--”
“I want to,” he growls and you look up at his angry face. You’ve never seen such fury in him. “I have never done anything but by my own whim and will not change that now.”
“You are too nice, sir. Too nice, I cannot ask it--”
“Who?” He sneers.
“Sir?”
“Who has done this to you?”
“I cannot--”
“I should know.”
“No, please, I wouldn’t-- it would be my ruin--”
“No, it would be his and you protect him still, so tell me.”
“No, no I will not. That I cannot tell you, sir. To say it would defeat me completely.”
He sighs into a snarls and lowers his chin. He sounds like a simmering bull, readying for the charge. You tug on your hand but he will not release you. You relent and let him cling to you.
Silence, suffocating and still.
“My brother was an orphan. We took him in when he was young. He is a duke, same as me, now,” he declares as he squares his posture. “You wouldn’t know the difference. And I won’t. Not between this child and our next.”
“Sir, surely--”
“We are to have a child,” he says, “that is happy news and I thank you for bringing me here to hear it.” He pets your hand and leans his arm against yours. He brings your fingers up to your mouth and kisses them, “one day, I will know who the culprit is and on that, I will surely split his skull. Not for his bastard, for that child has no sin, but for your honour, lady. For my wife’s honour.”
💟
Cora’s wedding to Lord Rogers culminates in a grand luncheon. The bride is a beautiful mist of tears as she accepts the well wishes of her guests. She basks in the attention as you gladly languish in the shadows.
Despite Lord Odinson’s unexpected and reassuring reaction, you’re still uncertain. You don’t know if he’s keeping a good face on until he knows how to act, perhaps renegs his grace, or if you might come to pay for your discretion later in your union. You’re prepared to meet your atonement, however it comes.
As you sit for the meal, the chair beside you is claimed almost at once. Your betrothed has appeared throughout the event but you’ve hardly been at his side. Each time you see him, his eyes skim the crowd as if he can see right through every one of them. Yet, when he looks at you, you feel only warmth. You don’t understand how he can look at you as such.
“How do you fare, today, my valkyrie?” He asks as he straightens his cravat, “you look well.”
“Good, I think.”
“Glad to hear it,” he raises his glass for a servant to fill it with sherry. You opt for lemon water, as much as your tumultuous stomach can handle.
“I thought we might have our own reception at Nine Pillars,” he suggests.
“I would like that,” you agree, your eyes drifting beyond him, to your father’s gardens, where... “whatever you may offer, I will be grateful for.”
“Mighty valkyrie, full of grace,” he praises and reaches for a platter, “ooh, they have some sweet ham here with pineapple.”
He takes a helping and puts it on your plate. You smell the tangy fruit and the underline savoury waft of the meat. You lurch and grasp the edge of the table. You give a panicked look to Odinson as he peers down at the food. He switches your plates out swiftly.
“Tell me, what are you in the mind for then?” He leans in so his arm touches yours as you sip from the lemon water to quell your stomach. “Valkyrie, give me your command and I will obey.”
You give him a coy grin, “you can be so silly.”
“Silly. Mad. All for love,” he assures you.
“Is their anything dry?” You ask, “bread, perhaps.”
“Sourdough,” he reaches to take the basket as others help themselves to the spread.
“I’ll have some of that.”
“With marmalade?” He offers.
“No,” your face pinches at the thought, “no, bread will do.”
You blink and shake of another tide of sickness. As you do, your eyes meet another pair further down the table, amid the rabble of voices. Lord Rogers tilts his head as Cora tugs on his sleeve and giggles up at the couple behind them. He hardly seems to notice as he stares you down.
You go rigid and quickly look away. You touch Odinson’s arm to keep from panicking. He looks at you, then down the table. He doesn’t say anything, merely carves off a chunk of bread for you.
You pick away at the hard crust and the dry spongey inside. You take small bites, cautious of upsetting your volatile stomach. The afternoon wears on, course after course, and you avoid those dishes which threaten to overthrow your restraint.
At last, the cake is serves, a tiered sponge with cream and fruit and candied sugar spun in a facsimile fountain atop it. It’s splended and beautiful. The couple are served first as they smiles in delight. The doling out of servings takes some time as guests wait patiently for their turn and the cake is pushed on a cart from chair to chair.
When it comes your turn, your name rises over the crowd. You sit up and glance over, relieved at least not to watch the layers of custard and cake hit your plate. Lord Rogers has his hand on the back of his wife’s chair.
“And how do you like the dessert? I believe you’ve been saving space for it all day, eh?” He chirps.
You angle your head in confusion. You look down then at Odinson who sits a little taller as he leans forward.
“You’ve hardly indulged, so I hope you might show your support and delight in this delectable dessert,” Rogers taunts. “A wedding is no place for a sour face.”
Your lips part. You’re stunned. How could he be so bold as to call you out? Among all his guests and he must torment you. Was one night not enough. Your whole life as his violation thrives within your womb. Lord Odinson subtly touches your elbows.
“I am most happy for you and my sister,” you rebuff, “and you are correct, I’ve been in much anticipation for dessert.”
You take your fork and scoop up a heaping mouthful. You smile at it even as your insides rage. You make yourself taste it. It’s so sweet and smooth and wonderful, but your stomach mulches as if it is rubbish. Your cheeks tremble and you swallow, nearly gagging.
“To you, sir, and my sister, Cora, I wish a happy marriage,” you force out as you hide your mouth behind a handkerchief.
“To the happy couple,” Lord Odinson raises his glass and the table erupts, at once, the attention shifted back to them.
You brace his arm and squeeze. You fight but you cannot withhold the uproar within. You stand and rush away, frantically searching for somewhere to hide and spew your guts.
💟
The days overcome your doubts. The weeks come with more affectations; your sickness ebbs and flows and the temperature feels at times hotter then colder, swaying back forth, while some moments you spend with a throbbing head and pulsing feet. The most obvious symptom of your condition is the tightness of your stay. Soon, you will be showing more than you like, but for now, loosened laces can ease your discomfort.
Your wedding day fast approaches. Time does seem to defy any human whim. You wish it would slow so you could catch your breath. Much like your husband-to-be who has yet to falter in his affections.
You sit before the mirror with the grown of silver petals in your lap. There is one still bent from Cora’s envy but you will keep it to the back of your head. You will wear it as proudly as that night Lord Odinson gifted it to you. You hope for the day you might both forget all else.
If it is to be. If he is at the altar waiting still.
Albina and Hannah take the crown from you and secure it among your styled locks. Albina smiles at your reflection as Hannah jabs you with a pin. You nervously wring your hands as you admire the lavender shade of your gown. You wish you’d had more of it, that you hadn’t needed to trim it in ivory to make up for your height. Still, it is beautiful and the nicest dress you’ve ever worn.
“Are you nervous?” Albina asks.
“Suppose,” you admit and lift your chin, “very, truly.” Though not for the reason she might think.
“Lord Odinson is kind. He should be gentle,” Hannah says.
Your cheeks tinge at her suggestion, “sister.”
“Well, it is what we are all thinking, isn’t it?” She shrugs.
“I hope I do not find a husband so soon,” Albina adds, “I would like to enjoy my books a little longer.”
“You might take on the spinster’s mantel then,” Hannah snipes.
“It shouldn’t be so bad,” you murmur. “Every woman must do it. Eventually. It cannot be so horrible.”
You lower your head again, trying to hide the emotion battling in your chest. It was bad, that first time. Lord Rogers hadn’t been kind at all. Would Lord Odinson be any different? For Rogers seemed kind at first glance only to be cruel upon touch.
What if you husband did not want to meet his duty? What if he could not knowing you had lain with another? You would not blame him and without consummation, he might still turn you away.
“Cora said it was more painful than anything she’s ever felt,” Hannah undercuts your dread. “Though she still loves her husband well.”
“You shouldn’t speak of that,” you gird.
“Why not? Won’t you tell us how it is so we may be ready?” She challenges.
“I... I... It’s rather strange to speak of it.”
“You are strange,” Hannah retorts with a huff.
“But pretty,” Albina chimes, “look at you, sissie. You truly look like a queen in that crown.”
You meet the gaze of your reflection. You do look better than you ever have before. You wonder if they notice the new fullness in your cheeks. If they do, they don’t mention it. You take a deep breath.
“I shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer,” you stand.
If you wait any longer, you might lose your nerve.
The bishop waits in the grand hall of Nine Pillars as you emerge from the rooms allotted for your preparations. The crowd stands among the columns and hushes as you appear at the end of the hall. You face the clergy man and for an instant, your heart dangles precariously, ready to plummet.
Where is Lord Odinson?
His golden head pops up beside the bishop and he fixes the flower tucked into his lapel. His long blond hair is draw back as a scarlet bow holds it back, its ears peeking out behind his nape. He is smiling as he pauses and his eyes meet yours across the space.
You can see even from there how his features slacken and for a moment, you are breathless. He looks as stricken. You put one foot down and let your long legs carry you.
All your doubts float away. The faces around you haze together and the world crumbles to dust. It's only you and that man.
💟
The ceremony gives way to a soiree, bodies clustered together, partners dancing, and you among them. Your husband, a husband, has your hand in his as he leads you in the steps. This man, this wonderful forgiving man you vowed yourself too nearly sweeps you off your feet, a sensation you've never known before.
Your cheer blooms from you as his cheeks flush in his excess. He barely pauses to receive kind words from his guest. His elation is contagious. It gives no way to your fears.
"Do you know what I thought upon the altar, beautiful valkyrie," he purrs, "I nearly fell upon my knees even."
"What?" You smile, glowing up at him.
"That the gods did bless me. That you must be sent from them, a gift to me, mere mortal."
You can't help but pat his chest, "you flatter."
"You are too modest," he guides you along, "you are a statue come too life, art in the flesh."
"My husband... you words are too sweet."
"I know, I know, the wedding night is still ahead of us, I do run too fast," he chuckles, "but how can I help the anticipation?
Your lashes flick and giggle, "husband."
"That word has never sounded sweeter," he grins, "but a sweeter noise might be my own name. Say it for me, valkyrie."
Your cheeks burn hot, "Thor?"
"Delicious," he growls nearly baring his teeth, "and I shall savour every sound you make. Every moan and mewl. Every breath and laugh. Just as every part of you."
It's too good to be true. You deign to let yourself feel it all but you must. If even only for tonight. If only for the next moment. You will have a morsel of happiness if it's all you have to chew on for the rest of your life.
💟
The night wears on and so do you. Your feet ache, as does most of you, and your voice is raw from laughing and talking. It is the first that you ever spent an event not along the wall or hiding in some shadow. It is a night all your own, or so your husband has made it feel.
Yet, he does not tire. Not as quickly. As he booms and bawls to the amusement of all, you cling to his arm and repress a yawn. You will not spoil his fun, you will persist.
Still, you cannot ignore all urges of your humanity. You press a hand to his sleeve and excuse yourself, promising to return. Your husband pauses to bid you not be long and you're further abashed at his attention.
You flit off to find the privy. You've been several times over the day. Your bladder swells no matter how little you drink. As you progress, you find your body is contradictory to your mind.
You venture down the corridor and sweep into the room. Once relieved, you emerge feeling lighter but no less tired. The silent desolation of the corridor rather makes your exhaustion all the more potent.
You turn towards the statue of a warrior, you recognise it, it is the means by which you've found your way. Before you can pass it, a figure appears from behind it and you falter in your slippers.
You gasp and ball your hands, the man before you sending a ripple of horror through you as he smirks at your surprise. Lord Rogers' cheek dimples as he quorks his head like a cynical crow.
"You are ever a creature of urges," he muses, "fluttering back and forth as a skittish bird."
"My lord, I... what is the meaning--"
"I'm afraid we've not had much of a chance to speak, have we? The blushing bride is much a titter," he chortles, "she has the gull to giggle like a maiden, even."
"Lord Rogers," you utter, appalled.
"But the sway of her hips do betray her true nature. That which is within her," he sneers, "as does the curdling of her face over any dish that tickles her nose."
"Sir, I know not what you mean--"
"I should laugh truly, to know that another will raise my bastard," he taunts, "that it is him, does entertain me more." He takes a step forward and you back, "so you will be certain to lay with him this night so he may believe he has vigour." He grabs your arms before you can elude him, "you will think of me, won't you, Athena, my fallen goddess? Of how I desecrated your--"
Suddenly, you are staggered. Lord Rogers is swung backward and flung into the statue. There's a roar, tha same noise you would expect of a charging bear, and the flash of scarlet. You watch paralysed as Thor grabs Lord Rogers by his jacket and spins him, throwing him into the other wall.
The smaller of the men, though they are both built well, slides to one knee, his hand on the plaster. The other is quick, wasting not a second before aims a foot into Rogers' stomach. The duke falls backward and is at once straddled beneath the larger.
Thor lays blows upon the other man, hailing down on him like the tempest he claims himself. Your fear overflows and you push through the thick waves. You come forward numbly and pull your husband by the back of his collar.
"Please sir, unhand him."
"You would defend this animal!" He wails down another fist and growls.
"No, no, I would not spare him but I would... I would have my husband not take me to my wedding night with bloodied knuckles. Thor," you pet the back of his head, "let this be a happy day. Please."
He sits back on his heels and puffs out. He looks back at you as you step away. You put your hand to your middle.
"Husband?"
He snarls and spits on Lord Rogers, standing with a huff. You reach for his hand and he takes it. He squeezes as he sends one last kick of his toe to the man on the floor.
"Let me save my strength for you, wife. I certainly would need it."
#thor#steve rogers#thor x reader#dark steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#dark!steve rogers#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#series#guileless#mcu#marvel#avengers#captain america#au#regency au
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