#retirement by rocket

[mango-sideburns]

My fav thing about TAZ is that any aspect out of context sounds fucking bonkers.

Like, in the balance finale there's a scene in which Garfield (who is very specifically never described visually bc most people imagine him as like. The Lasagna Cat. Who in this universe is the most powerful warlock in the realm and also has a hobby of cloning people, which is great for the one character that got forced into haunting a mannequin) is summoned by an alien spaceship that runs on the power of friendship so he could beat up some flashing balls. In D&D.

And that was just. Such a normal scene in the narrative. No one blinked an eye. I would like to bow down to Griffins clear unmatched talent for making me feel such big emotions over ridiculous shit like a goddamned umbrella or a regular ass pair of jeans or the idea of a taco recipe.

[dragon-tidbits]

The confidence that oozes out of this man

[superman86to99]

Superman: The Man of Steel #36 (August 1994)

"WORLDS COLLIDE" continues! Somewhat out of order, due to the way we're covering this crossover, but let's face it: if you were reading this in the '90s, you probably would have read the issues in some weird order, too (or, more likely, skipped some and been just as confused). So, in a way, we're being faithful to the original reading experience.

Previously in Worlds Collide #1: Rift, a god-like being who thinks the DC Universe and Milestone Media's Dakotaverse are parts of his imagination (meaning he's taking credit for the work of Siegel/Shuster/McDuffie/etc.), grabbed an island populated by thousands of people and just dropped it into the ocean, causing a tsunami that threatened Metropolis. The tsunami has been dealt with (spoilers for Superboy #7, which we haven't covered yet), but now Superman has to break it to his new allies at Milestone's Blood Syndicate that everyone they loved drowned pretty gruesomely. Luckily, Rift emerges from the ocean and saves Superman from that awkward conversation... while musing about destroying Metropolis, too. Well, destroying it even more.

Superman doesn't like that idea, obviously, so he tries to fight Rift, but Rift thinks that a fight scene between a god-like being and a mere superpowered mortal would be pretty boring. So, he summons Superman's closest analogue in the Dakotaverse, Icon, and tells him and Superman they have to fight each other if they don't want Metropolis to go down the toilet too. Rift even blows up the midtown part of Metropolis to prove he means business (but I'm not sure anyone there noticed, considering Metropolis' current state).

So, Superman and Icon start punching each other as hard as they can...

...while trying to direct the fight towards Rift without him realizing it. Meanwhile, Rift sees Lois Lane on a boat and grabs her to tell her he used to be her mailman, Fred Bentson, and compliment himself on doing such a great job creating her. Superman attacks Rift, causing him to drop Lois from a dangerous height (nothing she isn't used to by now, though). Lois is saved by Icon, but Rift realizes he was worried about her, which means she must be real.

Rift reasons that Superman has to be real too... but he doesn't give a crap about who's real or fake anymore. They're all his puppets anyway, and he announces he's gonna "up the ante" on their fight as he transports Superman and Icon to the latter's city, Dakota. TO BE CONTINUED! IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE!

Plotline-Watch:

This issue also features appearances by Superboy, Static, Rocket, Steel, and Hardware. We'll go into more detail on their storylines once we cover their issues, but I want you to know three important things: 1) turns out some scientific knowledge did rub off on Superboy while he was growing up (or being grown) at Cadmus...

...2) Static's full name is Virgil "Electromagnetic" Hawkins, and 3) Steel, like his main inspiration, is also a boxers man (you'll have to wait until another post to find out why he's in his boxers, sorry).

Rift forcing Superman and Icon to fight so their cities don't get destroyed is like a lower-stakes version of the main plot from the DC vs. Marvel crossover (though the stakes are about to get higher). More evidence that they should have included Rift in that crossover, as we were saying in another post's comments.

Jeb-Watch: Rift isn't the biggest villain in this issue, since it also features the return of Jeb Friedman, the ponytailed douchebag who kissed Lois when everyone thought Clark Kent was dead. Don Sparrow says: "God bless Jimmy for giving Jeb the side-eye all readers want to give that loathsome character."

Jeb says he's organizing a charity concert for the homeless people of Metropolis (so, pretty much everyone in Metropolis right now), featuring Jimmy's old would-be rocker friend Babe, whose band Shredding Metal apparently hit the big time. Last time we saw Babe, she had a centuries-old vampire living inside of her. That must have done wonders for her metal singing voice.

The Daily Planet's publisher, Franklin Stern, thinks they should suspend publication because of the "everyone's homeless" thing (plus, their building blew up and stuff), but Perry White refuses to stop putting out the dang paper. Don says: "I like seeing Perry’s commitment to informing the people of Metropolis, even at the risk of financial profit, but it might also explain why the Planet always seems to be on the brink of bankruptcy. Weird to see Lois swearing in that scene."

Whit cameo up there! Also: wonder if that's Alice the intern sleeping in the temporary office, for old time's sake.

Speaking of which, the other Alice in Perry's life (his wife) is volunteering at a medical center in Metropolis. There, she meets Superman's pal Keith the Unlucky (Probably) Orphan, who's trying to reunite another kid with his mom. Keith recently lost his second mother figure, Myra the Orphanage Lady, while Mrs. White lost her son Jerry Luth-- uhh, White some years ago. Hmmm...

The fact that Rift blows up part of Metropolis isn't really acknowledged by the other characters, probably because we all know that, like Paris Island's gruesome fate, it's gonna be undone by the end of the crossover. That makes me think they might as well have gone ahead and made Rift undo Luthor's damage on Metropolis, while at it -- it'd still be kind of a cop out, but I think it would have been a bit more organic than what we actually got.

Shout Outs-Watch:

Rift-sized shout outs to our supporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, Bol, Dave Shevlin, and welcome aboard Dave Blosser! Join them (and get extra articles; we have a Byrne Superman-related one coming next week) via Patreon or our newsletter’s “pay what you want” mode!

Also, have you checked out our friends at @fortressofbaileytude recently? They haven't updated their Tumblr in a bit (9 years) but there's some seriously awesome stuff going on at their other sites, like a whole week of fascinating articles about Superman/Doomsday: Hunter/Prey (including the action figures) and holy crap a podcast interview with Mike Carlin! Like us, they're also in BlueSky.

And now, more from the great @donsparrow.bsky.social...

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

We start with the cover, and it’s a good one, another piece in the puzzle that makes up this crossover with the Milestone characters.  Our heroes are slightly crowded by all the trade dress graphics, but not excessively so, as the DC and Milestone heroes fly out of a rift.  I always love yellow rim lighting, so it’s a winner for me.

For the most part I’ve found this crossover a bit hard to follow, especially since it has, in certain chapters, barely touched on the already seismic events of the destruction of Metropolis, so it can be hard to know how much we’re supposed to care about it.  While the story has been something of a letdown for me, the art in this issue is not, as Bogdanove and Janke are bringing their best work to this chapter.  Right from the opening splash, with Superman running ahead of various Milestone heroes, we’re off to a dynamic start.

We are so used to seeing Superman flying, it’s a pleasing change to see him running, especially when he’s drawn so well, in all his Shuster/Fleischer studios looking glory.  Only a couple pages later, we get another poster-worthy image, also a full page splash, of Superman soaring through the clouds toward the reader.  I especially like the white halo effect around Superman’s edges, defining his torso in front of his cape.  It may not be realistic, but man, does it pop.  As Superman surveys the damage on Paris Island, there’s a treasure trove of Easter eggs, that are worth the research.  Under the water, Superman finds himself at the cross-streets of Vesey Avenue and Prosser Boulevard.  These are references to real-life former slaves Denmark Vesey, and Gabriel Prosser, who both separately raised insurrections against slavery with deadly consequences.  [Max: I did not know that! In my ignorance, I kinda wondered if they were the names for Milestone creators...]

There’s also a reference to “Big Otto’s”, a Polish soul food restaurant.  At first I thought this was a shout out to famed comic writer Otto Binder, but Wikipedia informs me Binder was of Austrian descent, not Polish.  So maybe it’s just a gag, as it’s hard to imagine the Polish form of Soul Food.

Our first look at Rift, the villain of the piece, is a real showcase for the colouring techniques of this age, with very little of his form defined by the black lines of the rest of these pages, giving a bright, glowing look to his shape.

With Icon’s flowing cape, Bogdanove seems born to draw the character, and it’s hard to think of a time the character looked better.  Hardware also looks great in these pages, but he’s overshadowed artwise by the great penumbra image of Steel on page 16, which is just a terrific drawing.

The image of Superman and Icon speeding toward Rift, who is menacing Lois Lane is a good one, and it’s fun to see her caught by someone other than Superman for a change as Icon is the one who makes the grab here.

SPEEDING BULLETS:

Nice to hear Babe Tanaka and Shredding Metal mentioned, if not shown here.

Speaking of “shown here” it’s odd that they have Ron Troupe in this scene without him speaking at any time. [Max: He hates Jeb so much that he can't even speak. I sympathize.]

Is Jimmy being sarcastic, or does he think that a concert is really a good idea?  I’m betting on the latter, but I’d say a concert would be pretty low on the priority list at that present moment.

Static and Superboy make a very dynamic teen team, and wouldn’t be out of place on a Saturday morning cartoon together.  [Max: Superboy and His Amazing Friends, co-starring Static and Rocket! I believe they did appear together in Young Justice, but that show doesn't sound very Saturday morning-ish...]

It’s interesting that Superman’s Milestone counterpart is named Icon, since, many years later, Ra’s Al Ghul adopts that nickname for Superman himself, the Man of Steel version of Ra’s’ insistence on calling Batman exclusively “Detective”.  “Icon” is an absolutely terrible fit to describe Superman, essentially meaningless, but that issue is beyond the '86 to '99 timeline, and handled by a writer whose work on Superman I hated, so the less said the better. 

Is the Alice who is washing dishes, and who meets Keith and Lucan the same Alice that works at the Planet?  It’s hard to tell without her glasses, but she has a similar body shape. [Max: C'mon, Don, that's Alice White! How could you forget such a memorable character... who, based on our tags, hasn't appeared since 1992?]

I can’t find much information on Lucan.  His name seems so unusual that I wondered if he’s a regular character or something from the Milestone stories, but I haven’t unearthed much.  His design looks similar to a character from the cartoon, Richie Foley, but under the name Lucan I can only find references to Shining Knight or a character in Image’s Invincible. [Max: The DC wiki doesn't even list him in this issue, so I'm gonna assume he was a one-time character and an excuse for Keith to talk to Alice... but then again, the wiki doesn't list Keith or Alice either.]

I still can’t believe the cosmic power behind this storyline is a nebbishy mailman.  

[cupidskissx]

X

[sanicmaster]

This uniform though...

[lancelotslair]

Teenage dirtbag || OLD MAN YURI!!!

[track2hack]

20.03.2023

Ratbag Rocket and Cheeky Chester, waiting for someone gullible to fall for their pathetic little faces and feed these poor starving ponies 🥺😭

[disneyparksattractionstournament]

Extinct Disney Parks and Attractions tournament round 1: Group A1

Reminder, you don't have had to experience any of the attractions/experiences to vote! Just read in the info and/or watch the vid,then vote for which you wish you would have experienced more/which sounds cooler!

Videos and propaganda/info dumping under cut

Rocket Rods: Disneyland (1998-2000)

Propaganda:

"the best ever. hope this helps"

Iconic or Infamous, you decide! I actually think, if they didn't advertise it as a thrill ride, and didn't break the Peoplemover tracks forever, it would have actually been pretty cool tbh! Apparently i went on it when i was 3, but I have no memory of it unfortunately

Studio Backlot Tour: WDW Hollywood Studios (1989-2014)

Propaganda:

"I miss it so much. All those movie props and costumes I'll never be able to see in person again. The Harbor Attack special effects were fun to watch, even if neither I nor my family members ever got picked. Seeing a repurposed Catastrophe Canyon in the Disneyland Paris Cars Road Trip was like greeting an old friend."

While it did go downhill over the years, it was the main star of the park! But even when it wasn't a working studio anymore and residential street was destroyed, it was still a great attraction for movie fans! There were tons of old props in the queue and all throughout the attraction! Not to mention Catastrophe Canyon was a classic! But it was the whole epitome of the old park and the vibe of it D:

[dabbertcustomblades]

I was a few minutes late for this rocket launch this morning on my walk. You can see the moon and Venus in the center right.

[toonstarterz]

Jessie and Cassidy's dynamic: anger, bitterness, lots of baggage, possibly exes, scathing retorts, passive-aggressive remarks, cheap shots, attacks against each other's character

James and Butch's dynamic: lovely weather we're having

[leqclerc]

.

[lonlonranching]

this is a VIOLENT act of homophobia

[thejourneystartstoday]

Paldea anime where Ash is sent to investigate the time shenanigans that I am expecting to come across in ScVi. He’s a few years older and he competes exclusively in champion/elite four circles. He was crowned Monarch at 10 but he still has a lot to learn about Pokémon and battling so he still loses battles sometimes, just usually to elite-level challengers. He still likes to train up a new team for each region and that sometimes sets him back for a bit too but he’s sharp and creative as ever with his strategies and he’s made a name for himself as someone most serious trainers dream of battling. In Paldea he meets and travels with a student trainer planning a gym run (Nemona?) and he steps into the role of mentor/older brother. So Ash goes on a huge adventure with high stakes and continues to battle as opportunities arise but also roots for and supports this newbie who we also root for in their gym run, and maybe there are Team Star complications or maybe they befriend leaders of Team Star who know a little more about the corruption at the rival academies that ties into the time shenanigans. Ash ends up in the past or future or both over the course of the series. Of course there’s a big bad in the end that Ash ends up facing down.

I’m just saying, I’d watch it.

[despite-everything]

should i have just spent $45 on shirts when i’m now officially unemployed and only have 1.5 checks left to receive? probably not. but i did.

[airyairyaucontraire]

(visiting Alola again)

James: I wonder how Mareanie's doing.

Meowth: I hope Mimikyu's as creepy as it ever was.

and then Jessie suggests that when they've finished their mission they check on them

I LOVE TEAM ROCKET

I love that the show remembers how important Mareanie and Mimikyu were to them in their weird toxic deranged way

(note that they're not talking about visiting Bewear)

(Bewear is a whole different kettle of fish)