#reputation tour chicago

[wannabetaylurked]

Chicago Eras Tour

[foreverfeelslike]

Do I love tour season? Yes. Do things feel very concerningly like 1989 era Taylor’s life? Also yes. Overexposure on the media. Constant paparazzi photos. Taylor working nonstop going into the studio and filming music videos and god know what other projects she’s doing rn IN BETWEEN her already insane tour schedule. And some relationship choices that seem very out of character for her. Meanwhile she’s beaming in every photo and ensuring us she’s the happiest she’s ever been. Idk pals, I just don’t know. 

[midastouches]

...hey @taylorswift if u wanted to sing new years day.... at chicago night one.... for me..... that'd be lovely k thank u love u see u soon!!!!!

[therewilljustbereputation13]

pretty please sing daylight or dancing with our hands tied or gold rush as one of the surprise songs for 6/3 (chicago n2) i will literally fall to the floor and probably die there thanks love you mom 🧍‍♀️🫶🏻

[imamastermind-nowurmine]

Taylor auditioning for Chicago with lwymmd and vigilante shit on the eras tour

[haileym22]

@taylornation @taylorswift so…about reputation (taylor’s version)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The majority of censorship is self-censorship

I'm on tour with my new novel The Bezzle! Catch me TONIGHT in SAN DIEGO (Feb 22, Mysterious Galaxy). After that, it's LA (Saturday night, with Adam Conover), Seattle (Monday, with Neal Stephenson), then Portland, Phoenix and more!

I know a lot of polymaths, but Ada Palmer takes the cake: brilliant science fiction writer, brilliant historian, brilliant librettist, brilliant singer, and then some:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/10/monopoly-begets-monopoly/#terra-ignota

Palmer is a friend and a colleague. In 2018, she, Adrian Johns and I collaborated on "Censorship, Information Control, & Information Revolutions from Printing Press to Internet," a series of grad seminars at the U Chicago History department (where Ada is a tenured prof, specializing in the Inquisition and Renaissance forbidden knowledge):

https://ifk.uchicago.edu/research/faculty-fellow-projects/censorship-information-control-information-revolutions-from-printing-press/

The project had its origins in a party game that Ada and I used to play at SF conventions: Ada would describe a way that the Inquisitions' censors attacked the printing press, and I'd find an extremely parallel maneuver from governments, the entertainment industry or other entities from the much more recent history of internet censorship battles.

With the seminars, we took it to the next level. Each 3h long session featured a roster of speakers from many disciplines, explaining everything from how encryption works to how white nationalists who were radicalized in Vietnam formed an armored-car robbery gang to finance modems and Apple ][+s to link up neo-Nazis across the USA.

We borrowed the structure of these sessions from science fiction conventions, home to a very specific kind of panel that doesn't always work, but when it does, it's fantastic. It was a natural choice: after all, Ada and I know each other through science fiction.

Even if you're not an sf person, you've probably heard of the Hugo Awards, the most prestigious awards in the field, voted on each year by attendees of the annual World Science Fiction Convention (Worldcon). And even if you're not an sf fan, you might have heard about a scandal involving the Hugo Awards, which were held last year in China, a first:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/science-fiction-authors-excluded-hugo-awards-china-rcna139134

A little background: each year's Worldcon is run by a committee of volunteers. These volunteers put together bids to host the Worldcon, and canvass Worldcon attendees to vote in favor of their bid. For many years, a group of Chinese fans attempted to field a successful bid to host a Worldcon, and, eventually, they won.

At the time, there were many concerns: about traveling to a country with a poor human rights record and a reputation for censorship, and about the logistics of customary Worldcon attendees getting visas. During this debate, many international fans pointed to the poor human rights record in the USA (which has hosted the vast majority of Worldcons since their inception), and the absolute ghastly rigmarole the US government subjects many foreign visitors to when they seek visas to come to the US for conventions.

Whatever side of this debate you came down on, it couldn't be denied that the Chinese Worldcon rang a lot of alarm-bells. Communications were spotty, and then the con was unceremoniously rescheduled for months after the original scheduled date, without any good explanation. Rumors swirled of Chinese petty officials muscling their way into the con's administration.

But the real alarm bells started clanging after the Hugo Award ceremony. Normally, after the Hugos are given out, attendees are given paper handouts tallying the nominations and votes, and those numbers are also simultaneously published online. Technically, the Hugo committee has a grace period of some weeks before this data must be published, but at every Worldcon I've attended over the past 30+ years, I left the Hugos with a data-sheet in my hand.

Then, in early December, at the very last moment, the Hugo committee released its data – and all hell broke loose. Numerous, acclaimed works had been unilaterally "disqualified" from the ballot. Many of these were written by writers from the Chinese diaspora, but some works – like an episode of Neil Gaiman's Sandman – were seemingly unconnected to any national considerations.

Readers and writers erupted in outrage, demanding to know what had happened. The Hugo administrators – Americans and Canadians who'd volunteered in those roles for many years and were widely viewed as being members in good standing of the community – were either silent or responded with rude and insulting remarks. One thing they didn't do was explain themselves.

The absence of facts left a void that rumors and speculation rushed in to fill. Stories of Chinese official censorship swirled online, and along with them, a kind of I-told-you-so: China should never have been home to a Worldcon, the country's authoritarian national politics are fundamentally incompatible with a literary festival.

As the outrage mounted and the scandal breached from the confines of science fiction fans and writers to the wider world, more details kept emerging. A damning set of internal leaks revealed that it was those long-serving American and Canadian volunteers who decided to censor the ballot. They did so out of a vague sense that the Chinese state would visit some unspecified sanction on the con if politically unpalatable works appeared on the Hugo ballot. Incredibly, they even compiled clumsy dossiers on nominees, disqualifying one nominee out of a mistaken belief that he had once visited Tibet (it was actually Nepal).

There's no evidence that the Chinese state asked these people to do this. Likewise, it wasn't pressure from the Chinese state that caused them to throw out hundreds of ballots cast by Chinese fans, whom they believed were voting for a "slate" of works (it's not clear if this is the case, but slate voting is permitted under Hugo rules).

All this has raised many questions about the future of the Hugo Awards, and the status of the awards that were given in China. There's widespread concern that Chinese fans involved with the con may face state retaliation due to the negative press that these shenanigans stirred up.

But there's also a lot of questions about censorship, and the nature of both state and private censorship, and the relationship between the two. These are questions that Ada is extremely well-poised to answer; indeed, they're the subject of her book-in-progress, entitled Why We Censor: from the Inquisition to the Internet.

In a magisterial essay for Reactor, Palmer stakes out her central thesis: "The majority of censorship is self-censorship, but the majority of self-censorship is intentionally cultivated by an outside power":

https://reactormag.com/tools-for-thinking-about-censorship/

States – even very powerful states – that wish to censor lack the resources to accomplish totalizing censorship of the sort depicted in Nineteen Eighty-Four. They can't go from house to house, searching every nook and cranny for copies of forbidden literature. The only way to kill an idea is to stop people from expressing it in the first place. Convincing people to censor themselves is, "dollar for dollar and man-hour for man-hour, much cheaper and more impactful than anything else a censorious regime can do."

Ada invokes examples modern and ancient, including from her own area of specialty, the Inquisition and its treatment of Gailileo. The Inquistions didn't set out to silence Galileo. If that had been its objective, it could have just assassinated him. This was cheap, easy and reliable! Instead, the Inquisition persecuted Galileo, in a very high-profile manner, making him and his ideas far more famous.

But this isn't some early example of Inquisitorial Streisand Effect. The point of persecuting Galileo was to convince Descartes to self-censor, which he did. He took his manuscript back from the publisher and cut the sections the Inquisition was likely to find offensive. It wasn't just Descartes: "thousands of other major thinkers of the time wrote differently, spoke differently, chose different projects, and passed different ideas on to the next century because they self-censored after the Galileo trial."

This is direct self-censorship, where people are frightened into silencing themselves. But there's another form of censorship, which Ada calls "middlemen censorship." That's when someone other than the government censors a work because they fear what the government would do if they didn't. Think of Scholastic's cowardly decision to pull inclusive, LGBTQ books out of its book fair selections even though no one had ordered them to do so:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/06/books/scholastic-book-racism-maggie-tokuda-hall.html

This is a form of censorship outsourcing, and it "multiplies the manpower of a censorship system by the number of individuals within its power." The censoring body doesn't need to hire people to search everyone's houses for offensive books – it can frighten editors, publishers, distributors, booksellers and librarians into suppressing the books in the first place.

This outsourcing blurs the line between state and private surveillance. Think about comics. After a series of high-profile Congressional hearings about the supposed danger of comics to impressionable young minds, the comics industry undertook a regime of self-censorship, through which the private Comics Code Authority would vet comings for "dangerous" content before allowing its seal of approval to appear on the comics' covers. Distributors and retailers refused to carry books without a CCA stamp, so publishers refused to publish books unless they could get a CCA stamp.

The CCA was unaccountable, capricious – and racist. By the 60s and 70s, it became clear that comic about Black characters were subjected to much tighter scrutiny than comics featuring white heroes. The CCA would reject "a drop of sweat on the forehead of a Black astronaut as 'too graphic' since it 'could be mistaken for blood.'" Every comic that got sent back by the CCA meant long, brutal reworkings by writers and illustrators to get them past the censors.

The US government never censored heroes like Black Panther, but the chain of events that created the CCA "middleman censors" made sure that Black Panther appeared in far fewer comics starring Marvel's most prominent Black character. An analysis of censorship that tries to draw a line between private and public censorship would say that the government played no role in Black Panther's banishment to obscurity – but without Congressional action, Black Panther would never have faced censorship.

This is why attempts to cleanly divide public and private censorship always break down. Many people will tell you that when Twitter or Facebook blocks content they disagree with, that's not censorship, since censorship is government action, and these are private actors. What they mean is that Twitter and Facebook censorship doesn't violate the First Amendment, but it's perfectly possible to infringe on free speech without violating the US Constitution. What's more, if the government fails to prevent monopolization of our speech forums – like social media – and also declines to offer its own public speech forums that are bound to respect the First Amendment, we can end up with government choices that produce an environment in which some ideas are suppressed wherever they might find an audience – all without violating the Constitution:

https://locusmag.com/2020/01/cory-doctorow-inaction-is-a-form-of-action/

The great censorious regimes of the past – the USSR, the Inquisition – left behind vast troves of bureaucratic records, and these records are full of complaints about the censors' lack of resources. They didn't have the manpower, the office space, the money or the power to erase the ideas they were ordered to suppress. As Ada notes, "In the period that Spain’s Inquisition was wildly out of Rome’s control, the Roman Inquisition even printed manuals to guide its Inquisitors on how to bluff their way through pretending they were on top of what Spain was doing!"

Censors have always done – and still do – their work not by wielding power, but by projecting it. Even the most powerful state actors are not powerful enough to truly censor, in the sense of confiscating every work expressing an idea and punishing everyone who creates such a work. Instead, when they rely on self-censorship, both by individuals and by intermediaries. When censors act to block one work and not another, or when they punish one transgressor while another is free to speak, it's tempting to think that they are following some arcane ruleset that defines when enforcement is strict and when it's weak. But the truth is, they censor erratically because they are too weak to censor comprehensively.

Spectacular acts of censorship and punishment are a performance, "to change the way people act and think." Censors "seek out actions that can cause the maximum number of people to notice and feel their presence, with a minimum of expense and manpower."

The censor can only succeed by convincing us to do their work for them. That's why drawing a line between state censorship and private censorship is such a misleading exercise. Censorship is, and always has been, a public-private partnership.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/22/self-censorship/#hugos

[marie-swriting]

Falling - Katherine Pierce

Masterlist

Summary : The heartless Katherine Pierce is falling in love with you but she's scared of you.

Warnings : vampire!reader, The Vampire Diaries canon violence, mention of torture, angst, happy ending, implied sex (no actual smut), maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

A/N : I've finally had enough time to write another one shot! So sorry for taking this much time, it's still be complicated for a bit but I'm hoping everything will be coming back to normal very soon!

Word count : 3.4k

French version

Song inspiration : Labyrinth by Taylor Swift

Katherine’s eyes are set on your figure as you’re laying down on your stomach, the sheet covering half of your naked back. Katherine turns around in the bed and faces you, she admires every inch of your face that isn’t hidden by the pillow, from your closed eyelids to your lips, those lips she loves to kiss so much. Katherine gets lost in her contemplation and reminisces about the first time you met.

Chicago was plunged into the colours of the night while you were behind a bar which wasn’t very frequented. You were feeding when the sound of heels hitting the paved ground caught your attention.

“I wanted him to be my diner.” Katherine's voice resonated in the alley.

“Too late.”

You let go of your prey, letting the man fall before turning around and finding Katherine; your eyes were wide opened as your exclaimed:

“As I live and breathe, Katherine Pierce!”

“I see my reputation precedes me.”

“The only vampire who’s escaped from Klaus for more than 500 years, it’s something rare. Really impressive.”

“I know.” Katherine had smiled proudly.

“May I ask why the infamous Katherine is doing in Chicago?”

“I’m visiting. I’m enjoying the free time I have while Klaus is busy with the Salvatore brothers and my pathetic doppëlganger to have some fun. Do you know any interesting places to fill up?”

“You have in front of you the perfect tour guide. Three hundred years of experience under my belt.” you had told her, getting closer to her.

“Show me the way.”

You two had matched so well that Katherine had found her way into your bed the same night. 

Following your meeting, Katherine stayed one month in Chicago with you and she even ended up considering you as a friend, a friend with benefits but a friend nonetheless. In your presence, Katherine feels safe, protected, something she hadn’t known for half a millenium. Thanks to you, Katherine always has a smile on her face, you make it your personal mission to make her break a smile.

Of course, Katherine isn’t someone who stays put. She had ended up leaving town and promising you to come back. 

And that’s what she did that night. She came back to Chicago after five months away from you because she missed you - though she’d never admit out loud.

As you shift position in the bed, your arm makes its way to Katherine’s waist, bringing her closer to you and also snapping her out of her daydream; Katherine enjoys this touch more than she’d want to. She let herself go to your embrace while inhaling your body scent with her eyes closed; whilst she engraves it in her memory, Katherine feels her heart beating a bit faster, something that hadn’t happened in a while - she always makes sure it doesn’t happen. Katherine’s thoughts are all over the place, searching for an explanation nevertheless the conclusion is unanimous. With dread, Katherine thinks: 

“uh-oh, I’m falling in love.”

She can’t accept it. She has to avoid these feelings. Love never works when it knocks on her door and she doesn’t want to lose you. She cares too much about you to ruin what you have so Katherine does what she does best, she picks up her clothes and runs away, leaving you alone in your big bed. 

Three months have passed since Katherine ran away. You’ve tried calling her, she’s declined all your calls. Katherine does everything to forget about you whereas all of your thoughts are focused on her. You don’t understand what happened; sure, sometimes she can be busy with other things so she doesn’t pick up the phone but she always calls you back. She always called you back. You worry about her, fearing she might be in danger. You don’t have any other explanations in mind so you’ve started looking for her. You need to make sure she’s okay.

From one supernatural creature to the other, you slowly get information on Katherine’s whereabouts. Katherine quickly gets notice of your actions and she makes it harder for you by putting you on the wrong track. She still needs some time alone as a way to be sure her feelings for you are gone. She can’t let them take a bigger spot in her heart. Katherine is lost in the labyrinth of her mind as she wants to repress the feelings that only want to be expressed.

However, you’re stubborn and know how to get what you want, you manage to find her a month later. 

You wait for Katherine at her apartment. You don’t know when she’ll get back though, you know you won’t let her slip through your fingers, you have to talk to her.

Katherine ends up coming home in the middle of the night. As her guard is always up, she knew something was wrong before she opened the front door. Carefully, she comes in and she sees a figure laying on her bed, Katherine speeds up, ready to attack but stops the second she realises it’s you.

“You’re freaking dumb! I almost ripped your heart out!” she screams, running a hand down her face.

“Why are you ignoring me?” you blankly ask.

“You should leave.”

“No. Not until you answered me.”

“I have nothing to tell you.” Katherine affirms, crossing your arms on your chest.

“Katherine, why are you ignoring me?”

“Because you’re annoying.”

“Tell me the truth.” you order, irritating her even more.

“Oh my God! Why do you insist so much? I owe you nothing.”

“I was worried about you! I thought something happened to you! I thought maybe Klaus hurt you.”

“I’m doing fine, you can go now.” she tells you, showing you the door.

“I’m staying.”

“Leave me alone, Y/N.”

“Answer me, Katherine.” you say, mad.

“I want you to leave me in peace! We had fun, it was nice but I want to move on so stop being clingy.”

“That’s it? Without a real reason? Everything was great and you woke up last time and decided to leave and never look back?”

“Exactly.” she replies, her voice deprived of any emotion.

“I don’t buy it.”

“Believe whatever the hell you want, I don’t care.”

“I know you, you’re hiding the truth.”

“If it was possible, you’d be giving me a headache right now.” Katherine sighs, rubbing her temples. “Leave it, Y/N!” she snaps.

“No, I’m not gonna ‘leave it’. You left without saying a word, you ignored my calls and you gave false information so I wouldn’t find you.” you enumerate, your last information taking her aback. “I might have never been on the run, but I know how you work. I know you’re running, from what I don’t know but you’re running from something.”

“You’re talking non-”

“Am I?” you cut her off, desperate. “Because it’s exactly what you’re doing. As soon as something you can’t control happens, you run away, you isolate yourself from everyone. You might not be used to this, but you matter to me so I want to know the truth, I want to know what’s wrong so I can be here for you. Don’t shut me out, talk to me.” you beg, taking a step toward her. “I’m here for you.”

You catch your breath once you’re done talking. Your gaze is set on Katherine, waiting for her to react, she doesn’t. Katherine is too preoccupied with being shocked to do so. Never had someone ever cared that much about her. She doesn’t know how to react. Only her heart does. It beats a bit faster whilst the feelings she’s been shoving down explodes once more in her chest. 

“Oh no, I’m falling in love again,” she wonders. 

She thought she had the situation under control, that she’d be able to protect herself like she always has yet, you make it hard. Katherine wants to protect herself from love. Stefan, Elijah and other people, it always ended badly. No matter how much she tries to stay in control. She accepted she isn’t meant for love so Katherine can’t give in now, not even when you do everything to keep her close to you.

Katherine takes a deep breath then her face is emotionless as she drily replies.

“I don’t want you, here or anywhere else. I’m perfectly fine on my own. I don’t get how you could think for one second that you mattered to me. You’re nothing to me so go away.”

Katherine’s words are like a stab in the back. Your eyes stings and you try your hardest to not tear up. You look at her one last time before slamming the door of her apartment behind you.

When Katherine is alone, a sob almost inaudible escapes her lips. She looks up, hoping no tears will fall. She didn’t fight for five hundred years just to crack now for something so insignificant! She is Katherine Pierce. She survived to the cruellest original, she can’t let herself breakdown because she doesn't want to fall in love. Though, the pain in her heart doesn’t help. Katherine tries to ignore it by thinking it only hurts this much right now before the pain eventually softens. It has to. Katherine breathes in then breathes out. It’s only a hard time to pass, she will forget about it quickly. That’s what she tells herself but a part of her knows she’ll be getting over you her whole life. The bond you have is too rare to be forgotten that quickly.

You haven’t talked with Katherine in the past six months. You miss her. You wish you had never lost what you had. You had never felt this for no one before. You knew being close to Katherine wouldn’t be easy. A lot of people told you to stay away from her because she only brings pain nonetheless, you didn’t listen to them. At first, you were glad you formed your own opinion. The minute Katherine lets her guard down, everything becomes easy and you spend an unforgettable time. However, when she creates walls, everything becomes painful. You wish you could talk to her again, but she hasn’t shown a sign of life since you left. Furthermore, you are the one who always makes the effort, it’s her turn to prove she cares about you. 

As a consequence, you go back to your daily life like it used to be before you met her, even if your heart bleeds from her absence. Some things seem more insipid, like the nights you spend alone, the walks you do in town without having someone to tell your historical facts. You struggle, though it’s slowly getting easier. 

One night, while the streets are lightened up by the lampposts, you notice a woman from afar. You have to look at her for a few seconds to recognize Claudia, she had helped you to find Katherine. She nods before disappearing behind a car which drives past her. You follow her whilst you’re searching for the reason why she’s here. As soon as you enter a dead-end alley, Claudia stops and faces you.

“Why all this mystery?” you question, joking.

“I have information on Katherine Pierce.”

“I found her six months ago, you’re late.” you tell her, starting to leave.

“She’s been kidnapped two weeks ago.” Claudia informs, your stomach twists upon hearing that.

“It’s impossible. It’s Katherine Pierce we’re talking about.”

“That’s what I was told.”

“And is your informer reliable?” you ask, searching for any trace of lie.

“Quite reliable, yes.”

“Who kidnapped her? Klaus? One of the Salvatore brothers?”

“No, it’s Everett Ackland.” Claudia says, this name sounds familiar. “Katherine caused him some problems two hundred years ago. He wants revenge.”

“Why does he keep her alive, then?”

“Katherine caused him problems with Klaus. He hopes he’ll make amends by giving her to him.”

Following her sentence, you remember what Katherine had told you about Everett and you know he won’t sell her to Klaus without torturing her first. Worry leaves its place to anger, knowing he’s hurting the person who means the most to you.

“Where is she?”

“He’s holding her at Bloomington, Indiana. I’ll send you the address on your phone.”

You don’t add anything else and walk away. As soon as you come home, you grab a few things, including some blood bags, then you drive to Indiana. On the way, you receive a message from Claudia and you drive faster, wanting to arrive as soon as possible.

You’re near the woods when you stop the car, a few metres away from the abandoned house. You walk to a tree and break a branch as a way to have stake. With your vampire hearing, you listen and find out there are four vampires besides Everett and Katherine. Determined and angry, you walk to the house.

Silently, you open the door and start walking. The moment you’re in front of the enemies, you kill them quite easily. You guess there are young vampires Everett created for his revenge plan. By killing his minions you know he’s aware of your presence. You stay on the lookout for every noise while going to the cellar where Katherine is.

As you go down the last step, you only have enough time to see Katherine when Everett attacks you. He pins you against the wall, making you drop your stake. You answer his attack and you start fighting back. Your fight lasts several minutes until you rip his heart out, not without smiling at him. His body drops dead on the floor whilst you let go of his heart. You turn to Katherine and run to her.

“Kat’, you’re okay?”

Upon hearing your soft voice, Katherine looks up, a relieved expression on her face. You glance at her body and notice the chains tying her up on the chair but also the first signs of drying up. She needs to feed right now.

“I’m here, it’s gonna be okay.”

You keep reassuring her while breaking her chains. The second Katherine is finally free, her body falls on yours. You barely hold her whilst she holds onto you as if you were her safety net. Paying more attention to her, you realise she doesn’t have her necklace to protect her from the sun anymore.

“Where’s your necklace?” you ask and Katherine points the table in the corner.

Katherine still leaning on you, you get back her jewel and put it back on her neck then, you put her arm around your shoulders and you two walk to the car where you help her to sit on the passenger side. Before closing the door, you go  to your trunk and get two blood bags then you give her one. In less than a second, she drinks it until the very last drop. As soon as Katherine feels better, you give her the second one then you go behind the wheel. While Katherine is feeding again, you start the car.

You’ve been on the road for more than an hour.  You’re focused on the way you drive whilst Katherine still hasn’t said a word. Her eyes are lost on the landscape. You don’t start the conversation, guessing Katherine probably needs time to gather her thoughts so just like she does, you stay silent.

You’re about to enter the State of Illinois when Katherine’s hoarse voice breaks the silence.

“Stop the car.”

“What?” you ask, not sure you understood.

“I said stop the car.” Katherine repeats louder.

“We’re almost there.”

“I said stop the freaking car!”

Abruptly, you brake, surprised by her harsh tone. You don’t have the time to put the car at a standstill when Katherine has already opened the door. She quickly walks, determined. You know she can use her vampire speed at any given moment so you run to her and stop her by gripping her arm.

“Let me go.” she says, mad and taking her arm out of your grip.

“And where do you wanna go exactly?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll see along the way.”

“It’s stupid, let’s go home.” you stop her as she is ready to leave.

“It’s not my home. Leave me alone, I can take care of myself. I don’t need you.”

“Yeah, that’s what I saw!” you retort, sarcastic. “You totally had the situation under control when you got kidnapped and you were chained.”

“I would have found a solution, as always. I’m a survivor, I can save myself.”

“It’s true you managed to save yourself for centuries but it doesn’t mean it always has to be this way. You gotta accept that sometimes you need help like right now.”

“You freed me once, don’t make it such a big deal.” Katherine exclaims, rolling her eyes.

“I’m not making it a big deal! I just want to show you I’m here for you when you need it.”

“I don’t need you anymore so leave me alone.”

“Why do you try so hard to push me away?” you question. “I know you told me I’m no one for you but we both know it’s not true. What we had was real and genuine and for some reason you decided to ruin everything. No matter how many times you try to convince me, I know it’s not true.” you insist, getting closer to Katherine. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have wasted that much time on me. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have stayed all these nights and days. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have confessed that much about your past. Otherwise, you would have never been that vulnerable. Otherwise, you would have never searched for comfort in my arms when I came for you. So why? Why do you-”

“Because I love you!” she cuts you off, screaming.

“What?”

“I’m in love with you. I’m in love with you and it scares me.” she admits, looking at you deeply in your eyes. “Every time I allowed myself to feel those emotions, it brought me my own downfall. Every time, I ended up losing this person and I didn’t want to lose you. I’m afraid of being in love with you and losing you because I know if it were bond to happen, I wouldn’t be okay again so I preferred to run away rather than facing you.”

“I love you, too.” you confess, trying to take her hand unsuccessfully.

“Don’t say it because I told you. I don’t need your pity.”

“I’m saying it because I mean it. I love you, too and that is why I can’t let you walk away. I love you too much to lose you, too. And I know it won’t be easy because you went through awful things so you don’t trust easily but I can be patient.” you affirm, succeeding in taking her hands.

“You’re saying this right now but you’ll end up hating me like everybody else.”

“I know you. I knew your reputation well before meeting you and it didn’t stop me from getting closer to you. I learned to get to know you, the real you and it didn’t stop me from falling in love with you. I want you and everything it involves, the good sides and the bad ones. You can try to push me away as much as you want but I’m not going anywhere. I will always be there for you because I love you.”

Your hands on both sides of Katherine’s face, your eyes looking deeply in hers, your determined tone, Katherine’s heart can’t handle and starts to beat wildly. She didn’t expect this reaction from you. She didn’t expect that much conviction from you for everything you had. 

As Katherine’s eyes search for proof, even a tiny one, that you’re lying, she can only see honesty, love and the fear you have of losing her. At this moment, only a thought crosses her mind: 

“Oh, I’m falling in love.” 

She thought she was going to face another lost cause, see another love fall down, you just proved to her that this time, it could be different. This time, she can allow herself to fully fall in love without being scared, you’ll always be there to catch her.

Katherine puts her hand on yours, softly stroking it before kissing you with passion. You answer her kiss while bringing her closer to you as possible. Katherine loses herself in your kiss which, for the first time, doesn’t taste like a future betrayal but pure love.

Masterlist

[cartermagazine]

Today In History

An impresario in the broadest and most creative sense of the word, Quincy Jones’ career has encompassed the roles of composer, record producer, artist, film producer, arranger, conductor, instrumentalist, television producer, record company executive, magazine founder and multi-media entrepreneur. As a master inventor of musical hybrids, he has shuffled pop, soul, hip-hop, jazz, classical, African and Brazilian music into many dazzling fusions, traversing virtually every medium, including records, live performance, movies and television.

Quincy Jones was born on March 14, 1933, in Chicago, Illinois, and brought up in Seattle, Washington. His musical studies at the prestigious Berklee College of Music in Boston, Massachusetts, afforded him the opportunity to tour with Lionel Hampton’s band as a trumpeter, arranger and sometime-pianist.

He moved to New York in 1951, where his reputation as an arranger grew. By the mid-1950s, he was arranging and recording for such diverse artists as Sarah Vaughan, Ray Charles, Count Basie, Duke Ellington, and Dinah Washington.

Celebrating more than fifty years performing and being involved in music, Jones’ creative magic has spanned over six decades, beginning with the music of the post-swing era and continuing through today’s high-technology, international multi-media hybrids.

Jones has 28 Grammys, including a Grammy Legend Award in 1991, producer of the album Thriller, by the king of pop Michael Jackson and as the producer and conductor of the charity song “We Are the World.

CARTER™️ Magazine

[foxes-that-run]

what taylor tours has harry attended?

Eras - H unseen. with HAIM in London 18 August

HS Love on Tour - T unseen. Deux Moi reports she went to Wembley

Reputation - H unseen. Harry was in Tokyo when the last Reputation date was also there. Plays emotional set of surprise songs are wildest dreams (1 of 3 times she played it on the Rep tour) and So it goes (one of 8 times it has ever played live), dancing with our hands tied and I know places. Harry writes little freak in Tokyo and leaked ophelia (I feel ya) that refers to staring at her in Tokyo, watching her move, missing her and fantasising.

HS Live on Tour - T unseen. They were both in Chicago and played shows on 28 June (Taylor) and 30 June (Harry). In Taylors show she told the odd story about being with someone 2 NYE ago and jumping into icy waters which Taylor Nation edited out then later Joe did exposition for that to be about him. Harry's suit for that show was copied in the Me! music video. At Harry's next show (St Paul) is the one with a very well known Medicine performance and he said "running with you" instead of "running with wolves" in MMITH, then he broke up with Camille.

1989 - H unseen. Ironically, I think this is the one I think he probably he didn't go to. If he did, I think it was around June 6 as they were both in London and Harry posted in colour to IG. see 2015 timeline

Take Me Home - T unseen. They were both in Pennsylvania for a week 6 July, Taylor had the next week off and was not seen. on the 8th July Harry threw up on stage.

Red - H seen in a video Taylor posted to Instagram of her haircut. Above was also the Red tour. He was also missing when she was in Japan.

Up All Night - T seen in videos backstage at MSG. T MIA when they played the first shows in London.

Xfactor tour - T unseen they both played the London O2 the same week.

Speak Now - H unseen. They played the London O2 the same week. Harry MIA when Taylor played his X-factor Audition song, with Fearless mashup which she repeated. H MIA when she has Sweet Disposition Arm lyrics that he later had tattooed on the 1 year anniversary of that show.

Watching other performances

They have seen each other perform:

2023 Grammys, Taylor danced when Harry performed

2021 Grammys, recorded performances of them both was played in the room (not recorded in the same room as each other)

2014 AMAs, Harry sang night Changes, Taylor sang Blank Space, they looked at each other and clapped for the other, Taylor pointed and included where Harry was in her performance.

2014 - IHeartRadio Festival - both perform and are emotional, both MIA when they other on.

2013 Brit Awards - One Direction performed Teenage Kicks with Taylor in the front row. Taylor performed IKYWT and pointed to Harry, looked at Harry also in front row. Confirmed song about him in interviews after.

2012 X-Factor Final UK - Taylor flew to watch, pictured.

2012 Capital Jingle Bell Ball - Taylor in view in the sound booth when One Direction perform and pictured together after.

2012 z100 Jingle Bell Ball - both perform, both visible watching the other, kiss before Taylors set.

2012 Xfactor US - Harry watches Taylor perform and seen carrying her to a trailer after

2012 VMAs - both perform and watch the other, have lunch with group in rehearsals, One Direction introduce her on MTV

2012 BBC Teen Radio Awards - both perform and watch the other, first time pictured together.

2012 MTV Kids Choice Awards - both perform, Taylor dances to WMYB and rumoured dating.

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Carmy changes Syd’s menu and messed with Richie’s tables because he thinks he’s got more knowledge and that he’s helping the restaurant. This is because he got trapped in the walk in and thought that he failed the restaurant, Jimmy’s conversation about not messing up the restaurant and Chef David’s constant abuse coming to mind about how he needs to make everything perfect. So, he becomes laser focused on helping the restaurant and mistakenly thinks that this by proxy is helping out his team as well.

Help restaurant → improve sales/more people come in → success → team are happy

But what’s actually going on is Carmy thinks he’s helping but he’s messing with the agency of the rest of the staff without realising it. 

Richie talks about how the front of house is his dojo and messing with it creates an environment of fear. His whole character arc centres around the fact that the patrons of these fancy restaurants go there to be treated the best that money can buy, so he does the surprises and he wants no mushrooms just because someone doesn’t want mushrooms because he knows this shit matters. 

Carmy is in it for the artistry, he’s in it for the accolades, for the Star even if it’s not what he wants personally, he’s doing it because ‘that’s what you do at this level’ so he does it without thinking if it’s right for the restaurant. And by doing this, by not registering on the basic level why restaurants are a thing, why people cook for people, he messes with the atmosphere of the restaurant, both staff and patrons and causes them to be off their game, causing a likely negative review. 

Syd’s in it because, at some level, she loves to cook. We see her make an omlette for Nat, she cooks for Marcus in season 1 and hypes up the staff around her. Yes, she wants the same accolades that Carmy does but we don’t really see Carmy cook for the joy of it much at all in the show  like we see her do. We see her go around Chicago looking for inspiration and just eating for the fun of it, she comes to the Beef for Carmy’s reputation, because he made the best meal she ever ate, because she went on a food tour, and she also comes because she remembers it from when she was a child. She’s still got that love for food and drive that made her not want to work on a line plucking herbs for a dish she doesn’t care about, it’s what drove her to create her own catering business.

We see Carmy cook with Mickey in the season 1 flashback and make Sprite for Tiff in Fishes but him just cooking for himself and everyone else seems to only be shown at the end of s1 when he finally makes the spaghetti like Richie was asking him to all season. But we never see the drive that made him pursue being a chef much outside of flashbacks. And even in those flashbacks it’s partially shown that he went to New York to escape his family and as a kind of revenge on Mickey not letting him work at the Beef. He doesn’t seem to cook for enjoyment anymore, it’s for the skill, it’s because it’s what he does and it’s the only thing he has, he’s sacrificed so much for his status as a cook and for his skills that it’s the only way he knows how to operate. 

So, to fix what the mess he’s created, for short term goals because ‘get over trauma’ is far too grand  for the possible last season that season 4 might be, he needs to be able to get into cooking for cooking again. He needs to see what food does for people, he needs to fall in love with the craft again, and when he can see this, he’ll see why Richie’s insistent on a lot of things that make them clash in season 3. You can’t have a Micheln Star if people don’t come to your restaurant. I don’t know about anyone else but most restaurants (and I have never been to one as fancy as the Bear is trying to be) are open to you not wanting something, I’ve asked for no cheese and there’s no cheese, I’ve asked for no guacamole and sour cream on a jacket potato and that’s what I got, so if I went to somewhere and paid almost $200 and didn’t get to have things I didn’t like removed (as well as not knowing what I’m eating because the menu is changed everyday) I’d be pissed and would not recommend it. 

It just seems like Carmy forgot that he’s meant to like what he does along the way. Chef David worked it out of him that food is something you’re meant to enjoy making. If he can get that, understand Chef Terry’s point of them cooking to please people, and see why Sydney’s hurt that he changed everything and didn’t listen to her (because he’s not respecting her and how she’s different to him even though that’s why he wanted to be partners to begin with) and get through stuff with Richie, I reckon Season 4 could end on a relatively happy note.

[everytaylorswiftsongisaboutcats]

What’s one more day of clowning?…

Here we go final leg of the Eras Tour😭

(RIP my hope of tickets☠️)

Miami Florida N1

— (I’m gonna update this as I go cause I need somewhere to speak in hyperspeed Swiftie screams) while streaming —

Lover Creamsicle/Lava Girl (despite the Twitter debates (yes I said Twitter😂) it looks the usual coral to me at least) though possible new necklace? w Normal speech + addressing the final leg & fantastic crowds to celebrate these albums

New Fearless dress! (Possibly my favorite thus far)

— I’m thinking Elsa for a “Mastermind” name? … trying to come up with some pasta suggestions for “Swiftbowl” but honestly all I can think is “buddy the elf spaghetti”😂

A lot going on at the moment for Red with usual ATW speech & announcing the confirmed ✨RAIN SHOW💖

Swirls for Speak Now enchanted

NEW REPUTATION SUIT WITH MATCHING MIC & DIFFERENT SNAKE (its giving Karen… which @taylornation is of course trolling the clowns with)

— Maybe more green snake intro? (otherwise normal) It seems to be more green lighting?🤡 Normal Rep setlist (I guess I’m going with Christmas themes today… cause all I want is Debutation?😂) also lwymmd has red Rep suit box… idk if it’s new? Mostly just afraid new suit is from “old stinky” (who I love) having holes…

Berry Folkmore/Everlore dress, basic Betty & Champagne problems speeches (or at least nothing officially big?⬇️), + usual setlist (the rain pausing & beginning in Marjorie was beautiful though) & while I see some Tweets saying Willow has new synths I personally did not hear them or see lighting differences in coloring (maybe it’s my screens? It seems usual green & coloring) OKAY BUT THAT SPEECH DANCING RAIN (dancing with our hands tied?⬆️)

Was hoping for a new combo with an all green set for 1989, we got red & green which is both rep colors, usual set, bikes are green not blue!

Hoping for Florida during TTPD, seems more red and green lit, Florida is in setlist WITH FLORENCE!!! (I’m getting snake eye lighting vibes which is me clowning for sure). Malfunction: she was literally running with her dress unbuttoned.😂 The crowd screaming again tricked me w Postie😭🖤NOTHING HAPPENED (but hey I love Jan so) Hoping for all Gold set (or black for Rep?) Set is white! Currently: Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me? dress w White gloves & usual rest of set (aside from earlier ⬆️ Florida)

It’s all waiting on surprise dress now… I’m hoping new green, brand new black (maybe even silver/gold) or at least orange? Surprise songs o clock (coming in right after ICDIWABH which were on as I type this lol): HERE WE GO — THE DRESS IS RED AND GREEN AND BLUE AND LOOKS LIKE BLACK MIDNIGHT STARS OR HOLOGRAPHIC OR RAINBOW WHAT??? ITS RAINING?? ITS TIME!! ITS TIM MCGRAW & TIMELESS — ITS PIANO TIME (I AM CONFUSED) ITS THIS IS ME TRYING & DAYLIGHT — SHES JUMPING — UNLESS MOTHER DOES SOMETHING NEW AND ANNOUNCES AT MIDNIGHT WE HAVE BEEN CLOWNED🤡 but hey def my new fav dress for surprise songs (excited for high quality full pics)

It seems this has been dubbed the beta, paint splatter, sleeping beauty make it blue make it pink, lover hair or rep dress reference of Surprise Song dresses

Midnights: purple CORRECTION NEW ANTI HERO DRESS —

— & MoonStone🌙 bodysuit (don’t think it’s new guys) normal setlist & Kam love! Loving the rainy curls😍 & new crowd YES YOU ARE chants (haven’t heard that one for going out tonight before… maybe I’m just lost lol clowning fried my brain) if nothing else thankfully Vigilante Shit will always be scream worthy and heart stopping for mother🥵🤣👏 we Stan a good ✨Chicago✨ moment Magenta jacket & a wonderful night! Thanks for clowning!

[therewilljustbereputation13]

taylor i’m not even kidding if you do daylight or dancing with our hands tied as a surprise songs on 6/3 i will be getting carried out of the stadium on a stretcher 😅🫶🏻

[kylieswift31]

I don't wanna live forever

As a few people have pointed out on twitter, Taylor Nation have gone live a couple of times to draw our attention to live vs live during Taylor Swift's surprise song performance of 'I don't wanna live forever' a la the Truman show. The song has always alluded to not wanting to be alive forever but the implications of not wanting to be on live TV highlights Taylor's personal experiences in the spotlight.

'I don't wanna live forever' is a song that featured on the movie fifty shade darker, the sequel to fifty shades of grey featuring Christian and Anastasia. Their relationship ended and now Christian is willing to do whatever it takes to win Anastasia back. He has only experienced relationships that rely on the rules surrounding a dom and sub relationship, but is willing to let go of his usual rules so he doesn't lose Anastasia again. Her boss and his ex sub and dom are all wreaking havoc on their attempts to reconnect. Eventually they overcome their setbacks and get engaged in the end.

Taylor and Zayn recreate the tension of Christian and Anastasia's relationship through the 'I don't wanna live forever' lyrics and music video. This song explores the frustration felt within a relationship that's full of distance and secrets. The use of masks and masquerade was heavily featured throughout the promotion leading up to the release of fifty shades darker.

The male and female perspectives seen within Taylor's discography portray both the mask she wears of who society wants her to be and the vulnerability of who she is underneath. This is especially relevant with 'I don't wanna live forever' and 'delicate'. The music videos share a lot of similarities with paparazzi waiting for them outside a hotel and having plans to meet up alone. The queer inner side of Taylor ('I don't wanna live forever') is pleading for the pop star outer side of Taylor ('delicate') to remove her mask so they can be together.

Surprise song connections

When Taylor Nation went live the second time they connected three of the surprise songs. This explores the other songs that were played on the same night or by the same surprise guest. This mind map is in chronological order going clockwise starting with fifty shades freed.

The first time Taylor performed 'I don't wanna live forever' was for the NFL collaboration. In lieu of a duet, Taylor requested for the crowd to sing Zayn's part.

The first time it was played on the eras tour was Chicago n2, the same night Taylor sang 'you all over me' with Maren Morris. The zebra print pants she wore tie into the theme of the song and inspired this post.

'You all over me' explores the pain Taylor experienced from closeting for the sake of her career. "Swore that I'd get out of here, but no amount of freedom gets you clean. I've still got you all over me." Despite the separation of the queer Taylor and pop star Taylor, there is still lingering traces of the other's existences. "You find graffiti on the walls of old bathroom stalls." This implies that Taylor has left hints of the existence of the two sides of Taylor throughout her work, including this reference to the man wall.

Taylor and Maren also performed her song 'the middle' on the reputation tour. Maren is also wearing a fearless style fringe dress. The studio version of the song starts with a clock ticking sound, implying that time is running out. ""I'm losing myself just a little, so why don't you meet me in the middle?" This song is also reminiscent of the kitchen scene in the 'all too well' short film. "Just pouring out admission, regardless of my objection. And no it's not about my pride."

On Singapore n1 Taylor Nation went live for the mashup of 'I don't wanna live forever' and 'dress'. Taylor performed this in the yellow surprise dress.

The song 'dress' reveals a sense of patience knowing the pop star persona was a temporary mask, but ends with a hint of desperation to be together again. "They got no idea about me and you. There is an indentation in the shape of you. Made your mark on me." When 'dress' was performed on the reputation tour, Taylor ended the set with shedding her dress. "Only bought this dress so you could take it off." This is reminiscent of a snake shedding its skin, or metaphorically removing the mask.

On LA n4 Taylor played 'dress' on guitar and 'exile' on piano. Just like Truman was stuck in Seahaven a lot longer than he ever had planned, Taylor's plans to come out have been delayed too. 'Exile' describes the loneliness that caused. "You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)". Both Truman and Taylor have showed signs from the beginning that living with a mask to masquerade their inner feelings had a detrimental effect on their happiness.

The yellow surprise song dress is linked to the 'lover' music video. An element of this music video is the performance of a 1950's housewife, mother and maid. This is who society wants the pop star version of Taylor to be.

And then Taylor mashed up 'dress' with 'I'm gonna get you back' on Amsterdam n2. These songs combined hint at her plans to come out and line up with Truman's determination to leave. "You'll find that you were never not mine. I'm gonna get you back." His planning slowly ramped up until the timing was right to escape.

Taylor Nation went live for the second time during the Paramore set. Hayley Williams was wearing a shirt that read 'in a dream you saw a way to survive and you were full of joy'. This is from an art exhibition but could also be a reference to Taylor. She also asked the crowd "are you ready for it?"

On the same night for Munich n2 Taylor played a mashup of 'I don't wanna live forever' and 'I'm gonna get you back'. This mashup reveals the need for Taylor to do what's best for herself despite everything holding her back. Repeating the song from fifty shades freed implies we're closer to seeing the mask come off.

If we look at the other surprise song from last night, we also got ‘loml’ and ‘don’t you’ on piano (another fearless vault track). This is a conversation between the queer Taylor and pop star Taylor. "You're the loss of my life." It feels like she is having a conversation with herself in the mirror. "Don't you say you've missed me if you don't want me again. You don't know how much I feel, I love you still. So why don't you, don't you?" The pop star Taylor confesses that her other half is the love of her life. Queer Taylor whispers back asking why don’t you join me then?

This leads us back to Truman’s plans to leave. Just before he does, he has a conversation with his best friend Marlon and hints at really following through with his plans this time. But in hindsight, as Truman was preparing to leave we discover that his attempt to leave was actually set up to fail. This revealed that his first attempt was a test run for his real escape. Wether intentional or not, the failed coming out in the lover era lines up with this phase of Truman's plan. If the eras tour is following Truman’s story, what comes next in August may be a necessary step before the grand reveal later in the year.

Through the process of putting this together I was listening to the fifty shades darker soundtrack. As I went to turn it off I noticed the second song was Halsey's '...Not Afraid Anymore'. The capitalised letters and the lyrics stood out. I'm not sure if this connection between Taylor and Halsey was intentional, but it ties in with all the connections to the theme of masquerading.

So to tie all of this together, Christian and Anastasia represent the queer and pop star sides of Taylor. They worked together creating a mask that served as a form of closeting. This was supposed to be temporary, but lasted a lot longer than they had intended. This is where the queer side of Taylor became exiled and the pop star side doubled down by trying to be who society wanted her to be. Over time their separation became too painful and they slowly reconnected. They then reached an ultimatum and now we're seeing the outcome of that playing out.

Is Taylor finally going to take the mask off?

"Standing in the eye of the storm. Ready to face this, dying to taste this, sick sweet warmth. I am Not Afraid Anymore." -Halsey

A tortured poet,

Kylie x

[alltoofuckingwell]

reputation Stadium Tour > June 1 - Chicago, Illinois

[lastchristmas]

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