#replaying it now i think there's also the issue that it's just boring

[flash-from-the-past]

Cake Mania

[apollos-boyfriend]

Hey I've been observing from afar through your reaction blogging, I haven't been in mcyt as much since the dsmp ended but I still care about a lot of the people in the mcyt circle and I'm interested in what goes on - care to give a rundown of what happened at this twitch rivals thing everyone keeps talking about? (no pressure only if you want to) Aside from the fact I'm sure it was terribly run like most twitch rival events are, but it sounds like there was more to it than that

okay so. i am going to be missing quite a few details because i missed a day myself + my streamer could not care less, so i heavily encourage others to add on stuff i missed

this was a multi-day competition, running for 5 days with prize rewards from 1k to 100k. it started with i think 150 players, with select numbers of people getting eliminated each round. day 1-2 are fairly normal, at least for twitch rivals. of all the games that got played through the whole event, i'd say like 1 was actually good, and maybe 2 were decent, at best. most are bad, poorly-executed, poorly thought out, or just boring in terms of both player enjoy-ability and content creation.

DAY 3 EDIT:

now, sapnap's been sapnap for this entire event already. obnoxious, a bad sport, but most notably, playing DMCA'd songs. the event ran on proximity chat, so while he was unmuted, everyone around him would also be subject to said songs, which could mute vods at worst and terminate accounts at best. most people are fed up with him at this point. while everyone's trying to come up with solutions for the glitch, sapnap spams the discord with useless shit. couriway calls him out in the discord, calling him annoying and obnoxious, then later calling him a cunt in twitch chat. sapnap uses couriway and feinberg's name in his stream title for clickbait and talks shit about them + their friends (hbg/house builder gang). he also makes some weird comment asking if couri is homophobic because sap was talking about having skeppy's dick in his mouth?? or something?? i'm unsure exactly how day 3's issue of the glitch resolved.

day 4 is also your average experience with your usual range of average to horribly painful games. sapnap continues to be a bitch and not take responsibility for his stans attacking anyone in sight, but what else is new

day 5 is. bad. the game set for deciding the final competitors can be cheesed (if you let someone else do all the work, you can punch them in the last second and steal their win) and eliminates like 20 people at once. on top of that, a glitch happens that leaves the server on standby for at least 30 minutes while admins decide what to do. firebreathman sends a picture of a bare naked ass in the discord. someone else sends a photo of their debit card. streamers entertain themselves in various ways, including growing a cactus (fulham), playing osu (purpled), collecting other people's streams for their overlay (fruitberries), playing slime rancher (badboyhalo), and building real-life furniture (couriway). tubbo (who was already eliminated at this point) starts jumping between streams and asking in chat for the tea. the game is eventually replayed, deciding the final 4 players, but it's just as broken and at that point, no one wants to be there anymore. it's revealed through multiple streamers (purpled, i believe also feinberg) that twitch rivals games are not tested before being ran. the only testing done was a stress test to see if the server could handle all original 150-some players. this explains why the games are so bad and poorly organized (some games take over an hour, others barely 30 minutes).

the final four are sapnap, shadoune, sneegsnag, and i think feinberg. it's the most anticlimatic game of connect 4 you can imagine. sneeg eliminates sapnap, and shadoune eliminates fein. notably, fein's game glitches during a throw, which despite being obviously a glitch, the coordinators brush off as being "part of the game". fein and multiple other streamers spend time analyzing every pov frame by frame and all agree that yeah, that was a glitch. shadoune and sneeg are left for the finals. they come to an agreement that this is stupid and a horrible event. tired of this bullshit, they purposefully stall the games and run a podcast for approximately 2 hours, forcing the coordinators to bend to their commands hunger games-style. essentially since the first glitch of the day people were begging twitch to just split the money, something that wouldn't be easy according to tubbo, because everything is pre-signed and delegated before the event. sneeg and shadoune give no fucks, and force the coordinators to split the money anyway, winning the day through the power of friendship. i cannot stress enough how no one wanted to fucking be there by the end of all this.

[coloraturadiva]

The edge of the horizon (Jake "Hangman" Seresin x OC One shot - Sequel to Afterburn)

This story is a sequel to my one shot Afterburn

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x OC (Stephanie)

Summary:  A Navy pilot’s near-death experience forces him and his estranged wife to confront their fractured past. As fear, regret, and love collide, they must decide whether to rebuild what was lost or let it fade forever. 

Warnings: angst, fluff, character getting injured, plane crash, marriage issues, absent father, and hopefully I didn't miss anything.

Word Count: 4300

A/N: english is not my first language (or even the second) and this story hasn't been betaed, I just had some help from Grammarly.

Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.  

Feedback, reblogs and constructive criticism are always appreciated!

Please don’t post any of my content anywhere else without my permission. Comments and reblogs welcome!

Stephanie had just stepped into her house, the heels of her work shoes clicking against the hardwood floor. She hadn’t even had time to set down her bag when her phone buzzed on the kitchen counter. A glance at the screen showed Grace’s name. Smiling faintly, she swiped to answer, but the moment she said, “Hello?” the world shifted beneath her feet.

Grace’s voice was a torrent of sobs, barely coherent as she tried to relay the news. “It’s Jake... the Navy... they called me... he’s alive, but Stephanie, they said he was shot down on a mission! I—I don’t know anything else. Oh my God, Stephanie, what if—”

Stephanie’s breath caught in her throat. The phone slipped from her hand, clattering onto the floor, though Grace’s wails still filtered through. Her knees buckled, and she crumpled to the ground, tears streaming down her face.

Her chest tightened painfully, her emotions splintering in a thousand directions. Anger burned through her first, a deep-seated fury at the man who had once again brought this pain into her life. "Why, Jake?" she whispered brokenly. "Why do you have to make me suffer like this?"

But the anger was fleeting. Worry surged in its place, gnawing at her insides with a relentless, almost unbearable ferocity. Her mind conjured him so vividly it hurt—his cocky grin that could light up the darkest room, the gleam in his eyes whenever he talked about flying, like the sky was his true home. She could almost hear his voice, teasing and confident, reassuring her that he was untouchable. And now... now he was out there somewhere, hurt and vulnerable, and all she could do was wait. The thought of him in pain, of those strong hands—so steady in the cockpit, so tender when holding their children—now clutching at his injuries, made her chest tighten until she could barely breathe.

Through the haze of her anguish, another emotion clawed its way to the surface: regret. The weight of the past bore down on her. She’d left him to protect herself, to shield her children from this very nightmare. But had she been too harsh? Too unyielding? He wasn’t just the man who’d broken his promises—he was also the man who had held her hand through labor, whispered love into her ear, and made her laugh until she cried, the man who had swept her off her feet with a roguish smile and boundless ambition; he was also the man who had stayed awake all night comforting her when their youngest had a fever, the man who had carved out moments of family amidst the chaos of his career. And now, he might never get the chance to prove to her—and to himself—that he could be more than the sum of his flaws. No matter how hard she tried, she had never stopped loving him.

Her mind replayed the last time he had stood on her porch, his voice heavy with regret. “I know I’ve made mistakes. Big ones. But I’ve had a lot of time to think. To see what really matters. I… I’ve changed. I’m trying to make things right.”

Her heart had twisted at the tear that slipped down his cheek, something she had never seen before. But she had hardened herself against it, shaking her head.

She had stood firm, arms crossed in defiance. “Jake. Go. For the good of the children. Please.”

Now, hearing Grace’s sobs on the other end of the line, the possibility of losing him forever loomed like a shadow over her. The sharp edges of her words replayed in her mind, cutting her deeper than she thought possible."Go. For the good of the children." Had she been wrong? Would she ever get the chance to take those words back? To tell him that she never truly let him go?

Tears blurred her vision as she pressed her face into her hands. Her mind echoed with his desperate plea from that day:“I miss you all.”

Dragging the phone back to her ear, her voice shaking, she tried to console Grace even while her own heart was breaking. “He’s going to be okay, Grace,” she said, the words as much for herself as for Jake’s mother. “He has to be okay.”

- - - - - -

Maverick’s hands gripped the controls tightly, his voice tense and unwavering. “We can’t outrun this guy,” he said, his eyes scanning the controls and the endless sky around them. “We have to eject. We need altitude. Pull that ejection handle the second I tell you.”

“Mav, wait!” Rooster’s voice broke through, desperate, pleading.

“There’s no other way!” Maverick barked, cutting him off. He yanked back on the stick, and the jet surged upward, climbing toward the heavens with a stomach-lurching force. The roar of the engines reverberated through the cockpit as the F/A-18 strained against gravity. G-forces pinned Maverick and Rooster in their seats, every movement a battle against the crushing weight.

“Eject, eject, eject!” Maverick shouted, his voice sharp and commanding over the deafening cacophony of alarms.

Rooster grabbed the ejection handle, pulling with all his might. But nothing happened.

“It’s not working!” Rooster’s voice was a mixture of panic and disbelief.

Maverick’s heart sank. In that moment, he knew. The grim reality of their fate hit him like a cold wave. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracking. He exhaled a breath heavy with guilt. “I’m sorry, Goose.”

Behind them, the Fifth Generation jet loomed closer, a predator stalking its prey. The sleek silhouette was a deadly phantom, its missile bay sliding open with mechanical precision. In the cockpit, the enemy pilot’s targeting system painted a red square over Maverick’s jet, the lock tone a piercing confirmation of impending doom.

But before the missile could launch, a blinding explosion erupted behind them. A brilliant bloom of fire and shrapnel lit up the sky, the Fifth Gen jet obliterated in an instant. The shockwave rattled Maverick’s plane as the wreckage disintegrated into fiery debris.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,” a voice crackled over the comms, smooth and full of swagger. “This is your savior speaking. Please fasten your seatbelts, return your tray tables to their upright and locked position, and prepare for landing.”

Rooster’s face broke into a disbelieving grin as the unmistakable silhouette of Hangman’s F/A-18 screamed past, trailing smoke but very much alive. “Hey, Hangman... you look good.”

Hangman’s grin was almost audible in his reply. “I am good, Rooster. I’m very good.” His tone carried his trademark bravado, but beneath the bravado was an edge of adrenaline-soaked determination.

Maverick and Rooster exchanged a glance, relief washing over them like a wave.

Hangman’s F-18 roared triumphantly as he flew in formation beside Maverick and Rooster, his victory roll a bold signature in the aftermath of chaos. The comms crackled with tension turning into relief, but just as Maverick’s hand began to ease off the stick, a sharp alarm blared in Hangman’s cockpit.

“What the...” Jake’s voice was sharp, the easy swagger gone in an instant. His eyes darted to the radar. “We’ve got incoming from below—surface-to-air missile!”

The call snapped through the comms, and Rooster’s heart leapt into his throat. “Hangman, get out of there!”

From a concealed position on a rocky outcrop, the anti-aircraft station fired its payload. The missile shot upward, a white-hot spear against the vast blue expanse. Its contrail curled like a deadly serpent, homing in on Hangman’s jet with unrelenting precision.

“Hangman, break left!” Maverick barked.

Hangman reacted instantly, wrenching the stick hard. His jet rolled sharply, diving into an evasive spiral. The missile followed, closing the distance with terrifying speed. Jake’s breath came in sharp, shallow bursts, the cockpit filled with the insistent wail of alarms.

The missile streaked past, its proximity detonator triggering a thunderous explosion just behind him. The shockwave slammed into his jet, sending it into a violent spin. Shrapnel tore through the fuselage, warning lights blazing red across his dashboard.

“Dammit!” Hangman growled through gritted teeth, his hands a blur as he fought to steady the aircraft. The F/A-18 sputtered and groaned in protest, its right engine coughing black smoke. He forced the jet into a shallow climb, but every maneuver felt like dragging a wounded beast.

“She’s not gonna make it,” Jake muttered to himself, his voice grim. “I’m ejecting!”

Before he could act, another alarm shrieked: fuel leakage, fire risk imminent. Jake’s jaw tightened. The carrier was visible now, a speck on the ocean’s horizon. Gritting his teeth, he pushed the throttle forward, coaxing every last ounce of power from the crippled plane. The enemy anti-aircraft station faded behind him, out of range, as he closed in on the carrier.

The jet wobbled precariously, the left engine surging unevenly. As Jake neared the carrier, the distance seemed to stretch endlessly. His knuckles whitened as he gripped the stick. “Come on, girl. Just a little farther,” he whispered, urging the jet to hold together.

At last, the moment came. Jake yanked the ejection handle, the canopy blasting away with a deafening crack. The seat launched him skyward, the force slamming into him like a freight train. Wind roared in his ears as he shot into the heavens, the ocean spinning below in a dizzying blur. His parachute deployed with a sharp jerk, and he hung suspended, the world suddenly quiet save for the distant rumble of waves.

Below, the F/A-18 spiraled downward, smoke trailing like a dark ribbon in the sky. It hit the water with a final, echoing impact, disappearing beneath the waves in a burst of spray.

Jake hit the water hard, the impact rattling through his bones. Waves crashed around him, salt stinging his eyes as he struggled to orient himself. As he floated in the cold expanse of the ocean, Stephanie’s words came back to him with the force of a tidal wave. “I don’t want to spend most of my life home alone, with you on the other side of the world, waiting and praying for you to come back all in one piece.” He had scoffed at those fears then, brushing them off as overly dramatic. But now, bruised and battered, the ocean pressing against his body like an unyielding force, he finally understood. The pain was unbearable. His ribs screamed with every shallow breath, sharp and unrelenting. The explosion had tossed him like a ragdoll, slamming him into something hard before he’d been thrown into the sea. He wasn’t sure what had cracked—maybe two, maybe three ribs—but every movement sent a white-hot agony lancing through his torso. His left shoulder was useless, dislocated or worse, the pain radiating in nauseating waves. Blood from a gash on his forehead dripped into his eyes, mixing with salt water, stinging like fire. His fingers trembled as they tried to grasp onto anything, but the ocean was an unforgiving void, dragging him down, forcing him to fight for every second.

The cold was just as vicious as the pain, gnawing at his bones, wrapping around him like a death shroud. It seeped into his lungs, making each breath more of a struggle, more labored, more desperate. His limbs felt sluggish, the weight of exhaustion pressing down, urging him to give in, to just let go.

And yet, none of it hurt as much as the echo of her voice in his mind.

She hadn’t wanted this—not just for him, but for herself. She had feared this agony, the waiting, the not knowing. She had feared waking up to a phone call, or worse, silence. And here he was, body battered and broken, trapped in the nightmare she had dreaded. If he died here, she would feel this pain too—not in her ribs, not in her bruised skin, but in her heart.

The sound of a rescue chopper overhead was the sweetest thing he’d ever heard, but it couldn’t drown out the echo of her voice in his mind.

Strong arms hauled him aboard minutes later, his body aching but intact. He managed a weak grin as the crew checked him over. “Guess I won’t be winning any beauty contests today,” he quipped, wincing as they prodded a particularly sore spot on his ribs.

Back on the carrier deck, Maverick and Rooster were waiting after their difficult landing. As Jake’s boots hit the steel, Maverick was the first to step forward, pulling him into a tight embrace. Rooster clapped a hand on his shoulder, his relief evident.

“You okay, Hangman?” Rooster asked, searching his face.

Jake’s grin was razor-sharp, his voice dripping with mockery. “What’s the matter, Rooster? Afraid I’d let a love tap like that get the better of me? Please, I’m too good to go out like that.”

Maverick shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. “You scared us there for a second.”

“Scared? Nah,” Jake replied, though his voice faltered slightly. He felt nauseous and tired. The pain was too strong. He needed to lay down as soon as possible. He looked out over the ocean, the weight of what had just happened settling in. It was the first time he had been hit during battle. For the first time, the reality of how close he had come to the edge hit him like a sucker punch. Stephanie’s voice echoed in his mind, her fears, her anger, her heartbreak. “Jake. Go. For the good of the children. Please,” she had said, her words laced with a finality he hadn’t wanted to hear. Those words rang louder now, their meaning carving into him deeper than the bruises from the ejection.

This was it. This was what she had been afraid of all along.

He masked the tremor in his chest with another smirk, giving them both a playful shove. “Alright, let’s stop hugging and start celebrating. Drinks on me when we get back.”

But as the others laughed and moved to debrief, Jake stood on the deck for a moment longer, staring out at the horizon. The salty air stung his face, or maybe it was something else. He reached up and touched the spot on his finger where his wedding band used to be, the emptiness there heavier than it had ever been.

- - - - - - - 

The hum of the military transport plane echoed in the cabin as the Dagger team sat strapped in their seats, exhaustion etched into their faces. Despite their weariness, there was an undercurrent of relief and quiet pride in the air. The mission was completed succesfully, and they were headed home.

Jake leaned back in his seat, his bruised body reminding him of the events with every jolt of turbulence. He closed his eyes, listening to the muffled hum of engines and the murmur of his teammates’ quiet conversations. Images of the mission flickered in his mind: the chaos, the close calls, and the moments when everything could have gone horribly wrong. His hand instinctively went to his ribs, the ache a constant reminder of just how close he had come to never making it back.

The announcement of their approach to the base jolted him from his thoughts. As the plane descended, he could see the crowd gathered below, a sea of people waiting to welcome them home. Friends, family, and colleagues stood shoulder to shoulder on the tarmac, their cheers already audible even through the thick walls of the plane.

The aircraft landed smoothly, and the ramp lowered to reveal the throng of people. Jake stepped off with the others, the cool San Diego air brushing against his face. The roar of the crowd engulfed him, shouts of celebration and relief echoing in the evening sky. His teammates were greeted with open arms: Rooster swept into the embrace of his father’s old friends, Phoenix laughing as her siblings ran to her, Maverick clapped on the back by Admiral Simpson.

Jake put on his usual cocky grin, waving to the crowd and soaking in the applause. As a fellow pilot approached, Jake smirked and gestured toward the ocean. “Just gave the Grim Reaper a swimming lesson. Poor guy wasn’t ready for me.”

The pilot chuckled, clapping Jake on the back, though Jake’s sharp wit barely masked the persistent ache in his side.

He slapped hands with a few colleagues, his charm as polished as ever. But beneath the surface, a hollow ache gnawed at him, and it wasn’t coming from his broken ribs. Around him, the other Daggers were swept into tight embraces, kissed on cheeks, their loved ones holding them like they might disappear again at any moment. Jake’s smile faltered for just a second.

“Hangman!” a voice called, pulling him back to the present. He turned, greeting another colleague with a casual nod, but before he could respond, he felt a small tug at his pant leg.

Jake froze, his heart leaping to his throat as he looked down.

“Daddy!” his son, James, exclaimed, his little arms already wrapped tightly around Jake’s leg. His daughter, Mary, followed close behind, her wide eyes shimmering with joy as she reached up with both arms. “Daddy, you’re home!”

The world around him seemed to fade. Jake dropped to his knees, the persistent ache in his side a distant memory as he scooped them both into his arms. Their small hands clutched at his flight suit, holding on as if they’d never let go.

Their laughter rang out, a sound so pure it brought a lump to his throat. Jake kissed their heads, his voice trembling as he held them close. “Hey, my little wingmen. I missed you so much.”

James grinned, pulling back slightly. “Did you fight the bad guys, Daddy?”

Jake ruffled his son’s hair with a playful smirk. “You bet I did, buddy. But nothing’s tougher than getting hugs from you two.”

Mary giggled, clinging to him even tighter. “Mommy said you’d come back. She was right!”

For a moment, Jake couldn’t speak, his throat tight with emotion. He pressed his cheek against their small heads, closing his eyes as the relief and love washed over him.

Jake’s grip on his children tightened as if afraid they might vanish if he let go. The smell of Mary’s strawberry shampoo and the faint trace of peanut butter on James’s fingers flooded him with a sense of home he hadn’t realized he craved so desperately.

His heart swelled, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the weight he carried—the near-miss, the crash, the tension of battle—seemed to lift, replaced by the simple, overwhelming joy of their presence.

James tilted his head back, his blue eyes sparkling with curiosity. “Did your plane go really fast, Daddy?”

Jake chuckled, the sound catching in his throat as he met his son’s gaze. “Oh, it went faster than fast, buddy. Like lightning in the sky.” He tapped James’s nose, earning a delighted laugh. “But not nearly as fast as I flew back to see you two.”

Mary squeezed his neck, her small voice cutting through the moment. “Did it hurt, Daddy? Mommy said you got... um...” She searched for the right word, her little brow furrowed. “Bumped?”

Jake’s chest ached at the innocence in her question. He pulled her back just enough to look into her wide, green, tear-filled eyes. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said softly. “I got a little bumped, but I’m here now. And nothing—nothing—could keep me from coming back to you and James.”

Mary sniffled, resting her head against his shoulder. “I don’t like the bumps.”

“Me neither, princess,” Jake murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He glanced down at James, who was already inspecting the insignia on his flight suit with fascination.

“Did you fight the bad guys for real, Daddy?” James asked again, his voice full of awe.

Jake grinned, though his emotions churned beneath the surface. “I did, bud. But you know what?” He leaned in, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “The ones doing the real hard work are you and your sister. You keep me going out there.”

James puffed out his chest, his tiny hand patting Jake’s arm. “We’re your team, right?”

Jake nodded, a lump forming in his throat. “That’s right. My best team ever.”

Mary lifted her head, her small fingers brushing over the dark bruise forming on his jaw. “Can we help you feel better, Daddy?”

Jake’s eyes stung as he smiled. “You already are, sweetheart. Just being here is all I need.”

As he held them, his eyes searched the crowd, his heart pounding. Then he saw her.

Stephanie stood a few feet away from the throng, her arms wrapped around herself. Her tear-streaked face glistened in the twilight, and her eyes met his with a mixture of relief and sorrow. For a moment, everything else faded—the noise of the crowd, the ache in his body, the weight of his guilt.

Without a second thought, he took Jimmy and Mary’s hands and walked toward her. The crowd seemed to part as he approached, murmurs rippling through the onlookers. “Who’s that?” someone whispered, as they had never seen Stephanie or the kids before, but Jake didn’t care.

Stephanie’s lips trembled as he stopped in front of her, their children still clutching his hands. “Jake,” she whispered, her voice breaking.

“What are you doing here?” he asked in utter disbelief.

“I came because...” She stopped, her voice faltering. “Because I had to know you were alive.”

His trademark smirk flickered for a moment, but it lacked its usual conviction. "Guess I’m too stubborn to let a little thing like gravity keep me down."

Her gaze softened as she took in his visible injuries, her worry evident in the way her eyes traced every bruise and cut. “Jake... you scared the hell out of me," she said, her voice trembling.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice thick with sincerity. “For all of it. For not listening, for making you feel like you didn’t matter as much as the Navy. For making you go through this. For not being the man you deserved. You were right, Stephanie. About everything.”

Her eyes shimmered with tears she refused to let fall. “Jake, I didn’t want to be right. I just wanted you to come home. To us. I’m the one who’s sorry. I thought... I thought I was doing the right thing. But I was so scared of losing you that I pushed you away.”

“I know,” he said, his hand reaching out to gently touch her cheek. His thumb brushed away a tear. “I finally get it. I finally understand what you meant, what you were so afraid of. And I swear to you, I’m done. No more missions. I talked to my CO on the way back. I’ve requested to become a teacher. The Navy accepted. No more flying into danger. No more making you wait and pray for me to come home.”

Her eyes widened, her breath hitching. “You...”

“I want to be here. With you. With Jimmy and Mary. For the rest of my life,” he said, his voice raw with honesty, every word trembling with the weight of his emotions. His eyes searched hers, desperate to make her understand the depth of his resolve. “I love you, Stephanie. I love you so much. More than I ever thought I could love anyone. And I’m done running, done chasing after things that don’t matter. You and the kids—you’re everything to me. Everything. I just want to come home to you every day, hold you, watch our kids grow up, and give you the life you deserve.”

Stephanie’s shoulders shook as she broke into a sob. Her voice quivered as she took a step closer, her words tumbling out through the tears. “I love you, Jake. I never stopped. Not for a second. I was just so afraid. Afraid of losing you, of the pain of waiting for news that you’d never come back.”

He closed the distance between them, his hand moving to cradle the back of her head as he whispered, “You’ll never have to feel that way again. I swear it.”

And then, in that moment, he kissed her. It wasn’t hurried or tentative, it was a kiss that spoke of all the words they hadn’t said, the years of longing and regret, the promises of a new beginning. Her arms wrapped around him tightly, as if afraid to let him go again, and for the first time in years, the broken pieces of their hearts began to mend.

When they finally pulled apart, tears still glistened in Stephanie’s eyes, but now they were mingled with a smile. She reached down and touched Jimmy and Mary’s blonde heads, their small faces beaming up at their parents. “Daddy’s home,” she said softly, her voice filled with love and reassurance.

Jake knelt down again, pulling his children into another embrace. “You know what this means, right?” he said, his tone lighter now, a spark of his old humor returning. “No more long trips. No more waiting. I’m going to be here to tuck you in every night, to make pancakes on Saturdays, and to embarrass you when you’re teenagers.”

Jimmy giggled. “You already embarrass us, Daddy.”

Jake chuckled, ruffling his son’s hair. “Well, get ready, buddy, because I’m about to make it a full-time job.”

Mary climbed into his lap, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck. “I don’t care if you embarrass me. I just want you to stay.”

He kissed her cheek, his voice tender. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. I promise.”

Stephanie knelt beside him, resting her hand on his shoulder as they held their children together. The setting sun painted the sky in hues of orange and pink, casting a warm glow over the reunited family. For the first time in what felt like forever, Jake felt at peace—not in the skies but firmly on the ground, where he truly belonged.

[Stephanie's clothes for her meeting with Jake]

[suohenki]

on my second playthrough of veilguard (for some reason). this is the insane person's ramblings about lore/writing unlike my last post

this is the first time i've been so utterly bored of a second playthrough. never has an rpg given me this feeling.

like there are no quests i look forward to tbh, every main quest is a long combat sequence. even inquisition had the orlesian ball that you had to resolve with some actual noncombat solutions. (get behind me inquisition i will defend you from the fandom)

made a qunari this time to see if it affects anything, no, really doesn't. there's barely any qunari dialogue options.

picked the crows origin, it is truly astonishing the way they treat them in this game. they seem completely shy about the crows being contract killers? it's not even that they don't talk about the things Zevran talks about, but they fully try to ignore the murder part. Mfrs are freedom fighters now apparently.

and the "twist" villains in the crows storyline are so comically obvious i hoped they were both red herrings. the butcher is so underdeveloped too. the way the illario/blood magic twist is written is confusing, rook sees it all with his damn eyes and then never says a word about it. Yes i think illario is the bad guy here, Rook, i know you heard the "amatus". What. (swear to god the dark brotherhood is more deep than this. i never thought i'd say TES has better writing than DA.)

By the end they never address the fucked up things the crows do, outside of Rook's one throwaway line of "yeah my training was hell lmao." Is it just Aranai that's fucked or what kind of hellish training are we talking about? Rook also mentions having been an orphan... so the crows are as usual but we just won't talk about it. The lore and characters have never been this confusing and woobified. The positivity of Rook rly feels off when they are a trained assassin... no one reacts negatively to it, everyone even goes "Omg lucanis is a killer. Oh, not you Rook, you're better :)" no i don't think he is? Both killers.

Similarly they are so scared of the (elven) slavery in Tevinter. If you hadn't played the previous games you'd be forgiven for thinking Tevinter had no slavery because you missed the 3 sentences that mention it. We are in the slavery capital of Thedas and we are being shy about it. I guess Dorian's and Fenris's stories are too "problematic"... It's frankly gross how they brush it off after how serious it was in previous games. Also crazy how religion never comes up. In the country of the "black divine", you'd think Harding would have something to say at least. It really only now hit me how hard they avoided bringing up non-elven religion when it's been such a big part of the lore...

Neve's storyline just begs to be about the actual known issues of Tevinter instead of whatever it was about, all of it went from one ear, out the other. To me, her and Lucanis are the weakest companions on replay. Neve's voice acting is so strange and flat it's really difficult for me to be endeared by her. (this is coming from a cassandra pentaghast enjoyer)

Even if I think Harding's scenes could be better at least i get what she is about. Tho all the titan stuff feels like it's not treated with the gravity it should be. I do like Taash and Bellara, i just wish Taash wasn't written so immaturely. i never found Sera immature in this way, she's abrasive and yes, "immature" with the pranks etc., but Taash is written like a stereotypical teen, Sera just felt like a weirdo adult. And you can tell Alistair to suck it up lmao, it's really not even comparable. And the Isabela scene with the push-ups.... talk about making it all about yourself. Taash should have just been nonbinary from the start if they were going to make the representation this awkward.

I wish Bellara's quest had more drama. You don't get to save her brother but you also have no scene where, for example, Bellara endangers Rook or lets Anaris escape because she is actually conflicted about her brother... Rook and her just kinda let them go. Bellara is okay with killing her brother with barely any convincing lol.

Emmrich and Davrin are still my favorites, I think Davrin just works, and i like that we get to see more of his background. He's not terribly ~deep~ but he doesn't have to be, saving the griffons is an understandable goal, one that would be devastating to fail. Just a charismatic man that has things he cares about with conviction.

Emmrich is an interesting portrayal of necromancy which is something i'm always receptive to, i'd play a DA game set entirely in Nevarra. His quest has wild tonal shifts but at least the set dressing kept me interested. I do wish we didn't decide for him if he became a lich tho.

I wish with all the companions the way it worked was they decide based on previous dialogues. If you keep encouraging emmrich to pursue lichdom and face his fear then he does, if not, the opposite happens. i'm just not a fan of the "here's the moment where rook decides another person's fate!!!" like why am i deciding. it's their life.

i romanced Lucanis this time to try to see why people like him so much but man, i just think his whole story is a mess. they love to imply all the trauma Lucanis has but don't truly convey any of it. you don't even talk about being a crow with Lucanis like you talk about being a watcher with Emmrich. I guess it's my bad for expecting an assassin that has been tortured and forced into an abomination to be more of an interesting character.

i'm gonna need to know more about a companion than he has trauma, he likes coffee and he cooks, to be invested. The coffee thing feels like flanderization before i even know the man, put the damn cup down. First time i felt this disconnected with a romance.

i felt like they really squandered Spite too. You'd think a demon possessing a companion would cause more trouble than 1 escape attempt. Lucanis missing the first stab attempt barely registers as Spite's fault. Spite doesn't get any sort of pay off or drama.

I could forgive a lot more if the writing was better but the bad writing stands out so much more on a second playthrough. The basic dialogue, the spoon-feeding of info, the marvel-quips, the uninteresting side quests. Can't believe that i had to find out from fucking tumblr that the time Rook spent in the fade was WEEKS, you'd think that would be an impactful detail. Legit thought they got him out in a day lmao. Explains the dagger coming out of nowhere.

They try so hard to make the team cute and wholesome, it cemented my dislike of the found family trope. It comes across as so unearned. The game is like half competent writing, half DA fanfiction. Everything to do with Solas is okay. But everything else is so off. At least they managed to make Solas a love-to-hate type character for those like me who did not care about him in DA:I. The reason i'm not talking too much about the overall plot is it was okay, i just don't care that much about the evanuris. weird choice to try to blame it all on the elves tho. Like i love you but stfu Bellara, you do not have to take on the sins of the father. Have the elves not been through enough?

[dreadlock-detective]

Having replayed every (mainline) DMC now, my ranking is:

DMC5 (but the story is reliant on past game knowledge)

DMC3 (just as good as it was when it released)

… DMC2??? (as far as pure entertainment value is concerned anyway. The game is bad but, like, funny "oh this was cobbled together from table scraps" bad)

DMC4 SE's extra campaigns (Vergil and Lady/Trish all have tools to make the obnoxious parts of DMC4's enemy design more bearable)

DMC4 (I want to like it but it has parts that make me want to stop playing, mostly due to enemy design, and Dante just not being built to fight the enemies design for Nero, which is basically all of them)

DMC1 (would have been #3 if not for Mission 16 and onward. Nightmare 1 is a low point for the entire series almost entirely due to horrific camera issues. Game falls apart HARD at the end as far as fun is concerned)

Overall if anyone wants to get into the series, I'd suggest starting with 3 (its the prequel anyway, but ALSO damn good) and then skipping to 5 and watch the in-game summary of the series.

Just to note, i replayed these in a totally arbitrary order, going 5->3->2->4->1. No idea why~

More specific rambling below the cut

If you play DMC1, die, turn on Easy Automatic and spam items just to get through the game faster. The gameplay isnt deep so you wont lose anything. Get Air Raid as soon as you can after getting the Alistor sword and just fly in the sky and zap everything with lightning. The atmosphere is great in the game and i'd love to recommend it more full-heartedly but the end game just pissed me the hell off way too badly.

Play DMC2 if you like shitty B-movies. It actually does add a lot to the combat from 1 despite its reputation as "game where you just shoot things". I mean that CAN be true but aside from a few bosses that basically demand it that's just deciding to make the game boring for yourself. Also know that this game wanted to be HUGE and AMBITIOUS and FELL APART HARD in development so just, like, enjoy how cobbled together and weirdly nonsensical it is. Dante also has the most sword combos here than the entire rest of the series. They're also jank to pull off, not very distinct, and they hadnt figured out the Style Ranking system just yet, but its fun seeing how many animations they made for him.

for DMC3, dont be ashamed to turn on Easy mode after you die, Cerberus kicks people's shit in. Series has a habit of the first boss being a rough fight for how little abilities you have at the time. I do think it gets easier after that for a while and the game isnt too tough but if you're not used to the series it can be challenging. Dante and Vergil's movesets are definitely a more limited here than in later games but far greater than the previous two games and theres more than enough for it to be a fun time styling on enemies with enough tools to deal with everything you're put up against. Leveling up the styles is a grind so just pick one and stick with it (dont pick Royal Guard for your first playthrough)

DMC4.... 4 i'd also love to be able to recommend but it's the OTHER game in the series that basically got halfway finished. Unlike 2, it's far more coherent. The story is mostly good (Nero's love interest being 1 dimensional and generic being a low point but she's barely in it) but halfway through the game you've seen basically all the content in it (including bosses) and now you have to play through it all again backwards as Dante (including bosses), but Dante feels half-finished with far fewer weapons than the other games and without Nero's Devil Bringer arm straight up lacks mechanics to deal with the enemies. And the enemies have a LOT of obnoxious design choices. People love to say 2 is the game where you just shoot enemies but there are MULTIPLE enemy types in 4 where you are either required or heavily incentivized to shoot them instead of melee, especially with Dante.

in 4's favor, its apparently the one with the deepest combat mechanics and you can do some crazy stuff in it but, like, that doesnt really apply to people playing casually at all. Nobody is going to go around Guard Flying casually, yknow?

4's Special Edition extra characters fair better, but have no story, so at least the game goes faster too. Vergil's Trick moves are nerfed compared to 3 and 5 but he's still stupid powerful. Trish has her own fun style of gameplay involving throwing the Sparda sword and vortexing up enemies, even if its a fairly linear gameplay loop. Lady is... just what people say DMC2 is. All Guns. Fully upgrade the shotgun, charge it up, MELT EVERYTHING. Extremely linear but also kinda enjoyable to just obliterate all these enemy types that have been annoying me the past few playthroughs.

DMC5 is peak. I love DMC5's Dante and Vergil the most and 5's Vergil is the one that made me actually fall in love with the nuances of DMC combat. To make me want to learn to be not just capable of winning but to style all over everything. Series gameplay and overall enemy design at its best. Only real downside is if you havent played the earlier games the story aint going to mean too much...

[kinderchaos]

KINDERGARTEN 3 FINAL(ish) OVERVIEW— MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT⬇️⬇️⬇️

Okay to start off— I haven’t collected all the monstermon plushies yet, so the secret ending ( assuming there is one) is not a part of this review! ALSO. THIS IS ALL MY OPINION. YALL CAN AND WILL DISAGREE WITH ME.!! My words here are in no way the absolute truth and if you don’t agree then that’s great!! Anyways, now for the actual part…

Starting off with the positives:

The quality of this game is PHENOMENAL. The new art style, the animations, and generally just. Everything. It was SO good. You can really tell how much effort Sean put into the art.

The dialogue is off the chain funny . One of my favorite bits was when the Janitor beats up Monty and Stevie cutting in to reassure him. That and us stealing Stevie’s crutch and selling it back to Monty. Actually Stevie and Monty were a really funny duo in general. AND THE BANGKOK BIT GOT ME SO BAD

I LOVED the callbacks so much. It shows the fact that it’s a series and not a standalone game— the mentions of Penny, the old principal(s), the mentions of “underground tunnels” tying back to lore from the FIRST game (though I’m sure it wasn’t intentional from the start, lol)

Gameplay wise, the puzzles were fun— not hard enough to be annoying, but not easy enough to be boring. Also, thank GOD they added the Q to skip dialogue feature. Goodness GRACIOUS we needed that.

There’s definitely more. But I’m genuinely stuck. So down to the negatives:

Out of all the games, this one is my least favorite by FAR. I think I’m just not messing with the new characters the way I did in the past games? Speaking of which.

I’m not gonna dock points for the NEW game focusing on the NEW characters. But… the old cast… :( Jerome, Buggs, Billy, Ozzy, Ted… all for what. Davey? ALICE? Sorry I’m hating just to hate. I don’t fw Alice. Anyways. Yeah no I miss my babies.. and sorry babes Emmy isn’t cutting it. I like Austin tho he’s chill

The more lore-based the missions got, the less invested i became. Maybe it’s a me problem, but something about Davey and Alice wasn’t doing it for me. I also heavily dislike Linda. Thats a whole other issue though 🤦‍♂️ dgmw the lore itself was fine! Just about on par with the kg2 lore (kg1 has the best lore and I’ll die on that hill), but I think my main issue is with Alice and Davey themselves. Alice’s whole amnesia thing was giving Petra from mcsm. Actually Alice in general was giving Petra from mcsm no wonder why I don’t like her

Honestly I can’t think of another complaint (the game is GOOD), I just need to get used to this game being added to the existing canon. I’ll grow into it type shit. So I’m gonna use this section to complain about Billy not being in it again. Billy Billy Billy I miss you 💔 this ugly bitch Kevin isn’t cutting it 💔💔/lh

Overall. This game was awesome!!! I really enjoyed spending my entire day playing it, and I’m excited to replay it!! If you’re watching a YouTuber play it, I cannot stress enough to buy the game yourself and play it. I’m almost certain a lot of them will miss the callbacks and references to the last game, and will miss nonessential dialogue options that are worth going through. Also just to support the creators! The amount of care and effort that went into this deserves to be rewarded. Thanks for reading this far! And if you disagree try not to be too harsh I am just stating what I think about it. :3

[snapsnzips]

The end of an era, or a lifetime

The many flavors of grief and coping

Playing through Trespasser for the second time, talking with Leliana especially, where she talks about her memories from Origins and before, takes me all the way back too 2010 when I played Origins for the first time. She was beautiful in her baby-faced earnestness. I've loved having her in my DA:I life so much.

I know I still have Veilguard to play through, but, as of this writing, the Veilguard/Bioware team is disbanded, mostly fired. There won’t be any more Dragon Age and I grieve. It’s strange because I didn’t think at all about Dragon Age for 10 years or more except in nostalgic terms. But I’ve rediscovered my love for the lore and stories of Thedas and I grieve that just as I rediscover it, it’s ending.

I'm still processing my grief and other emotions from playing through Inquisition in December and those feelings are all jumbled up with these feelings.

I played through Inquisition 4 times in a row and it's still what I want to do at night when my brain is too tired to do anything else. I open up the game and walk around Thedas with my friends. I know it's time to move on and let them rest but it's really hard to give them up.

This last fall/winter I did this:

Did a thorough playthrough of Origins and realized I still remembered everything, even dialogue responses.

Did a half assed playthrough of Awakening because I wanted the blood magic tome to do another playthrough as a blood mage in Origins

Started a playthrough of blood mage origins and got bored, moved on to my first ever playthrough of DA2

Made it halfway through DA2, realized I had some wrong outcomes from my origins import and became increasingly anxious because I hadn't paid as much attention as I should have in Awakening (Anders...) and also Nathaniel died because I guess he didn't have enough gear in end game.

Restarted Origins for a meticulous playthrough of Origins and Awakening. Both for the lore and to get the Nathaniel quest. If I knew what I know today, I'd have put Anora on the throne and kept Alistair for myself so I could see him more in DA2. Alas, I can't live through another playthrough (although I set it up like that in my Dragon Age Keep for import into DAI for maximum heartbreak).

Restarted DA2 for a full playthrough, had my heart broken by Anders

Started Inquisition, hated it, went back to DA2 some.

Replayed DA2 a few weeks later when it went on sale on Steam and I could play the DLC (I was playing on my original pre-order disc from 10 years ago).

Went back to DA:I, modded most of my issues away, started playing it and eventually fell in love with it. The Dawn Will Come will always be a truly iconic moment for me. Eventually had my beating heart ripped out of my chest by my romance choice, skipped the other DLC because I needed to play Trespasser instantly for my mental health.

Instantly started a new game so I could get the romance Cullen and I both deserved

Played a third time as a human woman for something different, because I wanted to experience the Iron Bull romance.

Started a 4th playthrough as my canon elf to do a completionist run (I'm 67/69 achievements now too) and start recording footage for therapeutic video making

I actually just finished an EM/Dorian romance playthrough, with just bare minimum power so I could see that story as well.

Dance with Dorian mod. Worth it.

I'm still working on footage for some music video ideas I have and it's really hard to let this game and these characters go. I spent this weekend researching and modding ME1 Legendary because I've never played that story. I'm not sure I'm ready to make new friends yet. But I feel like I need to try.

I'm avoiding Veilguard because I don't think I can care about a new player character. I only care about closure for my Inky. Until I can care about this Rook person and their friendships and connections, I will wait. Surely the emotional hold my inquisitor has over me will fade with time. Won't it?

[theredofoctober]

I sometimes wonder how I miss such huge typos in my work after reading the same text like eleven times... it's so strange!

Cut because I've realised this is sooo long

I do read quickly and skim read as a bad habit left over from academia, so I'm not sure if that's part of it. Maybe?

I've never ever considered I might have dyslexia as I can read and write just fine apart from certain issues. I do have dyscalculia though, so I wonder if it's come from that

I struggle with addition and times tables, and I can't read long numbers without covering the rest of the figure and doing it in parts. I also can't 'see' how many multiple figures there are if they're the same and have to concentrate really hard

Other symptoms I experience are poor direction (yes, I know right from left but it doesn't seem to help) and that I struggle to follow maps to the point I even get turned around in video games 🤣

Also if I write on a page with no margin or even with one at times I slowly write further and further from the left. Teachers used to leave a huge angry red mark on it at school probably thinking I was being a dick and not realising it's something I struggle with

I also couldn't tell the time until I was 8/9 and still struggle with it, especially analogue clocks. It's so fucking bizarre

I've had zero support for it my entire life as I mask being neurodivergent relatively well until I don't, and was academically very talented except in maths so I think all my teachers thought I was a lazy cunt expect the last one I ever had...

God, he was a lovely man.

He died of a heart attack after I finished school which is so upsetting to me because he was the only person who noticed I was severely struggling with maths and gave me a CD with tutorials on it to take home.

After that I practised and practised because I was determined to raise my D to at least a C to get into certain college classes. So I went into Maths every day raising my hand and getting things right, which I'd never done before.

I'd straight up copy other people's work 🤣 I couldn't understand any of it. It was like gibberish. I knew I needed to know this stuff, but the After School classes went right over my head, and I felt angry I had to do this fucking class at all. I used to stare out of the window or at my watch bored as hell

Then after all this studying I got good. Don't ask me how. I think I'm good at learning through repetition and breaking things down to understand them. That's why the tutorials helped, I could replay them without someone staring or yelling at me

I could see the pride on my teacher's face when I shot up in class. He didn't judge me for messing with my calculator when I wasn't supposed to be relying on it because we both looked at each other and said I won't have it in the exams, and that's when I knew he trusted that I would be okay doing it without.

I was.

I got a high B, didn't get an A because I was in set 2 and only set 1 were doing the equations and such that would get you an A or A*. The pride on his face on results day was so amazing to me...

Like he saw that I had a disability, that I wasn't making things up or being lazy or a dick. He saw that I genuinely had a problem and he helped me in the way somehow he knew would help.

I'll never forget him. It was such a simple thing he did and so beautiful and empathetic

I'll never get the chance to thank him 😭

I've lost all my maths knowledge now so sadly I suck again, I'm only good at things when I practice heavily and memorise the knowledge and information. My brain is very strange.

Anyway, long story short haha. I do wonder if there's something there with language, if only a weak presence.

But I think about that teacher and think about how he quietly trusted I'd get there, and everything is okay ❤️ I never ended up in a career I would use any college or uni stuff but I did absorb the lessons I learned.

I'm where I need to be, starting my third book and first novel, with two novel drafts on the way!

[timeshift-playground]

uhm ultrakill hc talk (V1 and Gabriel edition)

guys did you know i like ultrak- *explodes*

\\also slight suicide mention

-🪷 (Adrian)

VERY LONG POST so the rest is after the cut

V1:

Runs digitigrade

The heels on its feet are actually the jet boosters that let it dash

maybe has small wheels built into its feet to help it slide. maybe. i swear i don't just want the murder robot to have heelies

weird fucking insect THING

Any idea of affection and human actions it has learned from observing its creators interact. Ex. blinking, twiddling its thumbs, etc

Also the concept of it being capable of mercy is very interesting to me. We see in the ferryman fight that once he stops attacking, V1 does too. The same with characters giving monologues and such. It doesn't attack until it knows the target is a threat, and seeing that everything in hell is like completely hostile we don't really get to see it sparing those who don't harm it.

as for killing i feel like it just doesn't feel anything. It doesn't have satisfaction it's just doing what it has to to survive, like a wild animal. I think it's going down through hell not only out of hunger but also curiosity. I mean it probably consumes a lot of blood to run its systems at the capacity it does so. Things like the cybergrind serve as practice when it gets bored (also it def replays its favorite fights)

As for dying i have two ideas

It leaves the pools of blood instead of collecting them for a reason. Once it is destroyed it can absorb blood from the ground to put itself back together. This of course takes time, which is why the enemies and bosses come back after you die. Meaning it's immortal

Hell itself brings V1 back each time because it wants entertainment, maybe resetting time too??? This doesn't really make sense to me tho

Gabriel:

gifted kid syndrome and BADDDDD

Shapeshifter. I don't know why. He has a human form (i refuse to believe he'd be white) and a more angelic form (his head is just a biblically accurate angel

immortal with his light, but can be exhausted with enough harm (ie. first fight)

his wounds heal extremely fast, but the more exhausted he gets the slower he heals (this is why he can taste his blood in the second fight)

this guy. oh my GAWD. Daddy issues times 10000000. Nice chill dude but indebted to his job because the council. I think he had a good friendship with minos before he had to kill him. Secretly played organ and read stories to filth children he didn't think belonged in hell (such as those who died to suicide). The only angel who really dared to step foot or even worry about Hell, so the council used his faith as a tool to manipulate him. This is a majority of what drives him to kill the council after the second fight

Now GabV1el, this shit is so canon.

I don't think they're really a romantic pairing, and it's very likely one sided on Gabriel's side. Gabriel is just enamored with V1 because it's the first thing to ever give him true struggle. Killing Minos? Easy. Killing Sisyphus? Easy. Killing the council? Easy. But V1 just keeps beating him. It's a passion to overcome, to finally beat this machine. And I am not normal about it AT ALL

As for V1, I feel like it doesn't understand the concept of romance. Things like kissing and embracing are just an action like any other to it. Although it may find the concept of affection interesting when all contact with others has always been harm

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

Last ep of #ForeverNetflix and that s2 better be on the Netflix HQ editing servers bc I’m gonna need it out by next week @netflix I’m not even kidding yall always take all the best black show away after 1 szn Zero daybreak but keep every boring show to s5-8 like elite after s3!

saw some spoilers and yeah I’m not ready to cry more just watched #doctorwho I cant my head starting to ache from all the bawling! perhaps I should wait to finish this show so I can dream about finishin it and get my s2 then finish it but I just can’t wait bc I need into my veins

On last ep im ready 😢 for this show to finish can’t believe all that was happening in just one year time different there bc I thought it was at least a year and half with summer coming! #ForeverNetflix

anyways they ATE that prom up omg I think this is like first teen prom scene I ain’t cringe at because they be doing to much (all I can remember is that other N prom scene 😂) and the music stay eating who made the soundtrack bc it’s a 10/10 and the show is 12/10

I keep saying it in my head everytime they zoom on their faces but damn they are such pretty couple (whole cast so damn fine) he’s so pretty those eyes smile and she’s unreal but I’ve been knew about her since greenleaf such cute gorgeous couple #ForeverNetflix plz don’t end them

I keep replaying the prom scene are they having a dance break god I love them N this whole scene why are they so good tho the dance is eating and they so in sync I didn’t know he could do all that it’s so good #ForeverNetflix really loved that sway and body move they did together

Ok now it’s enough I replayed the whole prom dance scene 20 times whoever filmed and came up with and the choreographer everyone ate down from head to toe even their fit ate and worked so well in choreo! Gonna comeback to it later on my multiple rewatchs untill s2

they had 2 proms needed to see them at Justin prom what?if they ate like this here wonder how it went at theirs! Anyways for s2 need more Darius he so cool but need him to he a real character need to see him develop them in college would eat so bad #ForeverNetflix need it bad s2!

I knew it those sons of b words got me again the sec I thought oh I love them dont nothing happen to them it was all to good to be true can never let a great ship just be great without ruining it! also those performances from both of them im😭! the actors they are

there’s nothing more that I hate in teen show then miscommunication between the characters like it drives me insane and these two are so good at it not perfect bc again they teens but so good especially Justin he’s very in tune with his emotions and very honest

I’m pretty sure Justin has anxiety imposter syndrome on top of not feeling like he’s good enough and she got daddy issues on top of guilt + this need to be perfect bc of her mom sacrifices! they got to much going it’s good for them to take break to find themselves

that choreo needs to be a tktk dance ain’t all do on that app yapp and dance now do this dance bc it ate down especially all yall couples constantly showing couple trends now this one I could get behind it’s fun cute and the dance ate!

Shelly to fine why is she always glowing mother I’m trying to focus in the story! this what they get for casting Xosha as mom like plz a teen mom maybe #ForeverNetflix

great I knew I was gonna cry and now I’m bawling they can’t end it like that they got everything they wanted but each other 😭😭 they looked sooo 😔 need s2 now that goodbye! #ForeverNetflix this show was so good 12/10 fr everything about it was so healing and perfect loved it

[raven]

not trying to be inflammatory bc i havent played 2064rom in years but what makes you hate it? i dont really remember much from it other than it being a weeby pronouns game

So i havent played it in several years but i might do a replay just to articulate the things that made me so mad. I played it once when i was like 15 and thought it was overhyped but not terrible, but then i watched a playthrough and played it again when i was around 18 or 19 and it really pissed me off. the way they write and present jess made me irate. for context, at this period of time id had to drop out of high school because of chronic illness and i could barely leave my room. so in the game, you name the pov character and choose their pronouns and shit so i assumed it would be some kind of roleplaying type thing. im disabled so i want my character to be disabled. in my head they are. and the game lets you do a lot, they let you choose your DIET... Why cant i make my character like me. but your character is definitely not disabled. whatever most characters cant be disabled but i just like to think about it in my head. its not that big a deal until you meet catgirl jess and immediately commit a microaggression against her. in this world there are genome modification surgeries where people can basically get animal parts and whatever. the reaction to it in-universe is similar to the current feel of transphobia right now. there's also a lot of ways it mirrors racism as well. it's a metaphor. no problem with metaphors. but the way they go about this. basically every scene with jess your character manages to fuck up and make her mad and she explains everything to you. i mean, she's not real. the writers painstakingly describe all of your problems to you. it turns out that she had skin cancer and basically had to get her skin replaced so now shes a catgirl. like literal catgirl with fur. it makes more sense in the game. but the thing is: this is pretty explicitly an allegory for disability, transphobia, AND racism. and the way the game forces your character to treat jess, only to get her pouring out her soul to you, angrily, to educate you, just does not sit right with me at all. it's like the game assumes everyone who plays it is white, cis, abled, and not mentally ill (the word she uses for people who havent had gene therapy is "genotypical" LOL). like the nonstop lectures and then basically misery porn from her.. like with the way she treats you why does she even spell out her entire story. to make *YOU* a better person? Even if the main character ISNT supposed to just be the player's avatar, this would be fucked up. It's not the job of oppressed people to educate their oppressors like this. But idk it's just the vibe that you are supposed to be your character and the characters in the game are speaking to you and lecturing to you. there's not a lot of divide between player and character. so it's very handholdy and its like you do know some people playing this game have actually experienced this shit...? no...? so yeah. its very like Liberal Education type shit but how do you know im fucking genotypical or whatever stupid word you want to use!! just frustrating to go through so much wrt my disability in real life and then be condescended to so frequently. "Hey, player. You know there's people out there with issues, right?" Like it's just the tone nonstop. the way they handled their oppression allegories pissed me off basically. that being said, jess is also one of the only characters in that game who i actually like (aside from your cute robot friend) which may say a LOT about the quality of the writing and just how overall boring it is that when i saw jess i would be physically wincing from what she was about to be a mouthpiece for but she also just had the best personality and design out of anyone. but i like a lot of things with problematic aspects or whatever, but this was the standout stuff of the game because the story wasnt even that good. It came across nasty all for the purpose of conveying a very mid story

[go-go-devil]

12, 17, 23 !

12) Shortest time you’ve beaten a game in?

Not counting flash games, I'm pretty sure my shortest time is beating Sonic 2 in about 20 minutes. The funny thing about that though is that the 1st time I ever properly beat the game was playing the Knuckles in Sonic 2 cartridge lock-on easter egg (which the Sonic Mega Collection preserved as it's own version of the game)! Knuckles's glide can completely trivialize certain levels in that game, so for once I was able to get to the Death Egg with enough lives + continues to finally beat the boss. I've since beaten Sonic 2 with Sonic in later playthroughs, but I'm pretty sure my 1st Knuckles remains the fastest rn 😎

Now that you mention it, I could also probably beat Sonic 1 or even CD in that time frame too if I ever get back into practice with them.

17) What game do you never tell people you play?

Ghosts N' Goblins 4 sure. I played that son-of-a-bitch nightmare fuck game on original hardware and it was AGONIZING. I'm normally the kind of person who defends the more archaic qualities of older cartridge games but I can't do it for GNG. It's a bad port of an arcade game with annoying enemies, mediocre level design, an obnoxious weapon system that actively tricks you (I'm NOT kidding!), and an infamously cruel final level that I couldn't even reach. I only got as far as level 3 before giving up. Play Demon's Crest instead.

Also NEVER play the Finding Nemo tie-in for the GC/PS2/XB. I'm sure all of you weren't going to anyway but that one gets a special mention for being the personal worst game I ever played in my childhood and... possibly ever, actually. I'd be more willing to recommend people play any of the Bubsy games than that criminally boring-ass license game.

23) Biggest disappointment you’ve had in gaming?

I had to really think about this one, but ultimately there's only one game that truly encapsulates me wanting a game sooooo bad, getting it, and then very slowly realizing I'm not having nearly as much fun with it as I had hoped.

Dark Cloud 2.

Now Dark Cloud 1 certainly has its issues, but honestly it's still one of my favorite PS2 games and I can replay easily replay it all over again. I already knew about DC2 as a teen before even finding a copy of DC1, and everything about it looked AMAZING! My parents decided to get it for me for one Christmas, so I put the disc straight into my PS2, played it for a few hours, then a few days, then a few weeks, and...

It's honestly really hard to explain what this game's problem is. By all technical accounts it truly is a sequel which expands upon the original game's concepts and irons out a lot of the jank while introducing interesting new features (ex: voice acting, a photography system, a monster transformation system + piloting a mechanical robot for each respective character, and a golf minigame too).

But ironically it's all of these features combined that ended up killing the game for me. This sequel is SO BLOATED with content that it genuinely becomes exhausting to play.

Some of the new mechanics are cool, but others are horribly executed (i.e. beast transformations & spheda golfing), and most of them are required to beat the game on top of the usual dungeon crawling + town rebuilding. So the further I got into the game the more it kept making me stop to do some other side tangent that doesn't control as well or feel as satisfying as the main game stuff, and it just kept piling on and ruining the flow of the gameplay for me.

That and the story was just OK, I guess. There were certainly some interesting moments, and the boss fight in Starlight Canyon was awesome! But I found the voice acting to be more annoying than charming, and for as simplistic as DC1's story was it somehow ended up being more engaging than DC2's even though it really shouldn't have been, if that makes any sense.

I know there are certainly people who would disagree with me, but for me Dark Cloud 2 will always be my #1 example of a game that's simultaneously "better" than its predecessor while also being a much "worse" game to play. Such a shame T_T

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko Ch1. Replay 1

Decided to replay Umineko again after playing a bunch of Persona games again before this!

When I first played the game I remember thinking the introduction scenes around the airport being very boring, but I have actually been very impressed with them this time! Lots of foreshadowing, and a lot of conversations have clever double meaning

Think the way Battler is just WRONG about everyone is very amusing too, the lines implying Rosa is the one with the most 'common sense', the ones where he says he looks up to George and seemingly has no fucking clue whats George's opinions about him, thinking Kyries decision to enforce some distance is because "he's too old to consider her familly now" and not because she fucking hates him, etc.

George constantly flipping betwwen his need to rub Battler's flaws in his face and him putting in the mature older cousing act is pretty striking on replay (Also I think his fear of vehicles apparently being inherited from Asumu is pretty interesting, wonder if Battler feels getting over his fear is letting go of his connection to asumu)

I think the decision to have Battlers first real monologue be about how being rich is kind of hard is a very interesting way to make it clear he kind of has issues looking outside his perspective without being very overt about it.

Oh Battler you really have no idea what's going on in other people's heads

The immediate dissapointment at not being recognized by Battler :(

Yeah, you sure understand what's going on, huh battler?

Can't help but fawn a little at Battler offering help like that lol

yeah

[xanderxone]

9/18/2023

Journaling Is Stimming

The moment I fell in the autism rabbit hole, I started devouring videos and the ones about stimming always seemed to grab my attention. One idea that was consistent across all the videos is that autistic people stim to release excess energy that gets built up in their bodies. It has to do with the idea of autistic inertia which I will probably make a post about sometime later.

I have always had what I considered to be an overactive imagination. I often get stuck in my own fantasy worlds in my head or replay conversations or fret about the future or fret about the present or get so lost in a special interest that I can think of nothing else. Wow. I actually spend way more time in my own head than I thought. And while there are times where this is something that I absolutely love about myself, like when I have to drive 3 hours on a long boring highway to my hometown to visit my family. Sometimes I actually look forward to just having 3 hours alone in a car to list to music and let my mind roam. But for the other 99% of my life, I need to actually be present and paying attention. So now I will be on the lookout for my tell-tale circular thoughts so I can just write them down and get them out instead. I've also started to employ a similar strategy at work because I often find myself in situations where I have a question about something that will probably get answered later but I just want to make sure I don't forget to check it. And I have actually started to just write those things down in OneNote and saving them to review later. AND WHEN I TELL YOU THE STRESS THAT HAS JUST WASHED OFF OF ME BECAUSE NOW I KNOW I WON'T FORGET IT LATER IS PALPABLE. I feel like I love my job again and I feel the joy coming back that was gone for a long time.

And so, dear reader, I think if I start writing down anything that gets stuck inside my head, it will be a stim and move all that anxious energy outside of me. And in turn, I will be able to harness a lot more of my mental capacity for other, more important things. AND I WILL STOP FUCKING FORGETTING EVERYTHING.

An interesting emotion that all of this is bringing up is one of shame and humiliation. And I know that it's irrational so I'm keeping it at arm's length to avoid being truly upset by the emotion, but it's existence is intriguing. God I sound like a robot sometimes. Anyway, I think its because I feel really dumb for not realizing all of this sooner? I do struggle a lot with depersonalization issues which I think has also led to me not realizing I was trans until... the same time I learned I was autistic. Look, it's been a really long year, okay? But I think all of the things that have made me incredibly good at masking all these years are the same things that have made me feel like I have a very limited sense of self. I think I'm gonna work on developing one.

One last thing: I always felt like a journal had to be neat and organized and pretty or else it wasn't right. And so I would spend all this time trying to get it perfect and it wasn't sinking in that the whole point is to journal your thoughts and get them out. And so I just felt like it did nothing for me but it's because I was dumb. This blog will be a way for me to stim when I need to get things out. And then I'll also keep a pretty journal full of pages of stickers and pieces of paper that I rip up and glue down that can be a creative outlet for when I need to get out creative energy (it's called junk journaling and if you are a little packrat gremlin who loves tactile doodads and thingies and art, you will love it. And all of the supplies are SO CHEAP online. Look it up on tiktok. Trust me.)

I feel like I might be getting an A in therapy.

--Xander

[crystalelemental]

"books-are-my-life-stuff: And it's not like Rapidash is anything better either (it takes a long time to evolve and its movesets are pretty boring save for Megahorn and Poison Jab from Move Reminder), but it's the only Fire-type option for non-Infernape users that doesn't need super late game TMs to be able to function as a proper Fire-type mon.

Gen 4 is great story and design-wise, but the Pokemon lineup and movesets are…very lacking, something that I didn't notice until I replayed a few times, trying to use different team and different starters, only to end up with mostly the same ones again."

I don't remember ever running a Rapidash all the way through a game, but yeah, late level evolution is kinda rough, though Ponyta has really good BST for a pre-evo in compensation. It's not as bad as like...pretty much anything in Gen 5, if we're being honest. Like yeah okay, Deino, you can evolve post-League if you really want to buddy.

I think it's also the issue of...game structure. Like okay, let's say you're doing what I'm doing, and running some slow Pokemon, like Gastrodon and Lickilicky. Your life is now miserable, compared to someone running Floatzel and Lopunny. You're slow, so you take more hits, and if you even get recovery moves, they come in super late, so you're using a lot of Potions, and you can never really travel around with them in the lead slot because they're slow so you can't run from anything and get stuck in even more battles that land even more damage on you. Back when money was a lot harder to manage, this was difficult to justify. So on top of the moveset issues, you now have money issues as you stock up on more healing items so you can make progress without stopping at the center every other encounter, and what felt like a really fun game the first time through because you ran some good sweepers and just shitstomped things, becomes a tedious slog of trying to level this slow, lumbering shit. It's less engaging, and more effort, for reward you could achieve much easier any other way. While people complained about the Gen 5 habit of healing your team constantly, it objectively made using slower Pokemon better. It's purely an improvement.

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

I can confirm this is such a thing

now that I'm an adult the best advice my moms boyfriend ever gave me was

"make something to look forward to every day, every week, every month, every year" one thing for each thing little things and big things my big year happy thing will be getting to be with my boyfriend for new years and experiencing my very first romance stuff with him : ) its so exciting and cool! My monthly stuff tends to be a fun project Im loving like writing a book, (like right now ) or making games, or otherwise having a BIG large scale project i'm working on , this sometimes goes on for months but its a HUGE source of happiness for me, this can also be visiting af riend or loved one or going to a fair of some sort!

my weekly big happy is usually going out for dinner or to a cool store or making dinner with my mom or otherwise doing something cool like that! Or doing a smaller scale craft, like I made a little top hat bag out of eva foam!

Finally my small scale things are usually small art projects, video games, watching LONG FORM content like an anime or a movie or things like that.

I think a lot of peoples issue when it comes to technology addiction also partially come from trying to feed a brain thats incredibly bored that just doesnt have something fun and stimulating going on, It offers a level of happiness thats so minor that most people wouldn't consider watching a youtube video a special treat, unless its something really specific.

(example: charlie the unicorn vs say, a tiktok compiltion, you're not going to remember that tiktok compilation years later, BUT almost everyone who's my age remembers charlie the unicorn, I'd consider the amazing digital circus this too, and asdf movies, those are all "long form content" in a way)

it's weird how that works and I love my tech so im not saying technology bad lol, just that like,I'm feeling so much better mentally now that I'm specifically searching for things Im looking for, avoiding short form content where I can, and making mindful choices about what i watch. I'd 100% consider watching an indie animated show mindful watching, I mean whoa just look at the artistic magnificence that is lackadaisy!? I'll never stop replaying that opening sequence in the first episode!

let's face it, it's NOT fun to scroll through tumblr all day finding 50 posts that really suck and one or two that are somewhat entertaining, and algorythms specifically are designed on most websites to keep you JUST bored enough and entertained enough that you keep going and keep going as long as possible and never are quite happy. Make at least one special thing for yourselves, it makes a HUGE difference, and remember to actively chose to have fun and do silly things sometimes, you're your own zookeeper, after all!

what they dont tell you about adulthood is that it’s startlingly easy to go long periods of time without having any fun at all not even a little bit. btw this causes ur brain to try to kill you with knives and hammers.