#thoughts with theredofoctober

[theredofoctober]

Yall, have you seen this failed Wonka experience thing in Glasgow? I'm actually making myself cough with laughter... I feel sorry for anyone who turned up thinking it would be for the family, but it's so liminal horror it's almost become iconic

[theredofoctober]

Just come out of Nosferatu! It was amazing, the dark desire between Ellen and Orlok was so fascinating, I wish they'd had more scenes... even when she was nose to nose with him telling him she despised him it just felt completely erotic in a very twisted fashion.

The end was really tender, so interesting that she responded to him in that way. It showed that she understood finally that he couldn't help what he was and nor could she

[theredofoctober]

Sorry you guys but I liked Skinamarink

[theredofoctober]

Trying to find dragon x reader or dragon x oc content where the dragon stays a dragon and doesn't turn into a bland muscle guy or a pouting prince is killing me... spare a thought for us true monsterfuckers smh

[theredofoctober]

As a SWer I do get the criticism of Anora from my colleagues even if I enjoyed it; generally you expect the clients with a lot of money to throw tons at you in one go then vanish off the face of the earth. You get a little jaded and suspicious so if I met a Vanya I'd be like haha funny proposal my guy just keep paying me already

[theredofoctober]

Someone asked if Will and Hannibal actually love L.O. in Manna and I think it's a valid question!

There are some things I can't say as I feel it will spoil the plot as it goes on, but I feel that yes they do, but not as normal people love, nor even as they love each other.

I feel from watching the show itself they're both too madly jealous for there to be a third in their relationship unless they were hugely subordinate and very much a toy to them. They'd 'date' the same way they'd kill together: violently, and with deference to each other.

Now whether their relationship with L.O. will always be this aggressive I can't yet say, but this is essentially why their relationship with her at this point is so extreme and cruel.

I have tried to warn people up front not to expect this to ever go the direction of an ordinary romance even in dark romance spheres as pretty much all my work is really aggressive, although I do imagine I'll be writing something different in the near future if the right character pulls me that way.

I was actually thinking about that the other day. Really interested in who that'll be!

But I do think the Stockholm Syndrome aspect has been introduced now! It's the slowest burning aspect of the fic as it makes sense for it to develop at a snail's pace considering how she's treated and what she's seen. But trust in the Night Sibling, I will provide 🙏🏻

[theredofoctober]

Surprised people are whining about the 'insta love' in Juniper and Thorn between Marlinchen and Sevas. No offence but considering she's barely allowed to leave the house I thought the attraction built between the two and the reasons they connected made sense

I can tell a lot of book reviewers aren't really lovers because I swear falling in love that quickly isn't rare in the real world. I mean, ask anyone gay (meaning me)

Also it was a beautifully written book. So pleased I picked this one up!

[theredofoctober]

I sometimes wonder how I miss such huge typos in my work after reading the same text like eleven times... it's so strange!

Cut because I've realised this is sooo long

I do read quickly and skim read as a bad habit left over from academia, so I'm not sure if that's part of it. Maybe?

I've never ever considered I might have dyslexia as I can read and write just fine apart from certain issues. I do have dyscalculia though, so I wonder if it's come from that

I struggle with addition and times tables, and I can't read long numbers without covering the rest of the figure and doing it in parts. I also can't 'see' how many multiple figures there are if they're the same and have to concentrate really hard

Other symptoms I experience are poor direction (yes, I know right from left but it doesn't seem to help) and that I struggle to follow maps to the point I even get turned around in video games 🤣

Also if I write on a page with no margin or even with one at times I slowly write further and further from the left. Teachers used to leave a huge angry red mark on it at school probably thinking I was being a dick and not realising it's something I struggle with

I also couldn't tell the time until I was 8/9 and still struggle with it, especially analogue clocks. It's so fucking bizarre

I've had zero support for it my entire life as I mask being neurodivergent relatively well until I don't, and was academically very talented except in maths so I think all my teachers thought I was a lazy cunt expect the last one I ever had...

God, he was a lovely man.

He died of a heart attack after I finished school which is so upsetting to me because he was the only person who noticed I was severely struggling with maths and gave me a CD with tutorials on it to take home.

After that I practised and practised because I was determined to raise my D to at least a C to get into certain college classes. So I went into Maths every day raising my hand and getting things right, which I'd never done before.

I'd straight up copy other people's work 🤣 I couldn't understand any of it. It was like gibberish. I knew I needed to know this stuff, but the After School classes went right over my head, and I felt angry I had to do this fucking class at all. I used to stare out of the window or at my watch bored as hell

Then after all this studying I got good. Don't ask me how. I think I'm good at learning through repetition and breaking things down to understand them. That's why the tutorials helped, I could replay them without someone staring or yelling at me

I could see the pride on my teacher's face when I shot up in class. He didn't judge me for messing with my calculator when I wasn't supposed to be relying on it because we both looked at each other and said I won't have it in the exams, and that's when I knew he trusted that I would be okay doing it without.

I was.

I got a high B, didn't get an A because I was in set 2 and only set 1 were doing the equations and such that would get you an A or A*. The pride on his face on results day was so amazing to me...

Like he saw that I had a disability, that I wasn't making things up or being lazy or a dick. He saw that I genuinely had a problem and he helped me in the way somehow he knew would help.

I'll never forget him. It was such a simple thing he did and so beautiful and empathetic

I'll never get the chance to thank him 😭

I've lost all my maths knowledge now so sadly I suck again, I'm only good at things when I practice heavily and memorise the knowledge and information. My brain is very strange.

Anyway, long story short haha. I do wonder if there's something there with language, if only a weak presence.

But I think about that teacher and think about how he quietly trusted I'd get there, and everything is okay ❤️ I never ended up in a career I would use any college or uni stuff but I did absorb the lessons I learned.

I'm where I need to be, starting my third book and first novel, with two novel drafts on the way!

[theredofoctober]

Doctor Lecter, Will and you are playing Jenga. Who is winning? Who topples the tower? And who is in charge of rebuilding it?

Screaming 🤣 hold on, time to channel their voices

Hannibal: "In such a game the only strategy is to submit to fate. Even the most experienced player may lose if they underestimate the delicate balance of the puzzle, or are surprised by the ingenuity of their opponent. Perhaps the true satisfaction would be in observing their moves and through them understanding my competitor in all his aspects."

Will: "I wouldn't lose being that I wouldn't be so easily distracted. Hannibal couldn't say the same."

Hannibal: "I wouldn't be so certain as that. Nevertheless it wouldn't be the first time I've picked up the pieces left behind after our disagreements."

Will: "He'd lose. He just doesn't like to admit defeat."

[theredofoctober]

On the Moreau chapters of my Wonderland re-read and reminded of how upset the readers were about how mean to him Alice was the entire time 😂 to be fair to her she had zero reason to trust or have sympathy for him but she does become a much kinder character over time after realising she's got no moral high ground over him or anyone else in any similar situation

[theredofoctober]

It's my birthday 🎂 I'm so hungover from last night but still heading out for a nice walk around the town and some lunch! I treated me and my partner to dinner last night and it was so yummy, I could have eaten a sensible 74 of those breaded brie thingies. I fucking love cheese

[theredofoctober]

There's always one 🤣 and yes this post was fully tagged, I've only posted one thing on here without all the correct tags, which was an oversight that comes of posting so much unfortunately; I wish there was an autotag option to avoid this tbh.

But I digress. When a post is very clearly tagged and marked with what it is I don't know why people waste their time consuming a post that is over 3000 words, like hello secret fan??? Or in this person's case as they claim 'not to have read it' why bother interacting with the post to begin with?

Darkfics are not for everybody, I don't expect everyone to love it or want to engage. That's totally fine and why I put everything under a cut where possible so you don't even see the text itself unless you choose to open it

Just seems like a waste of everyone's time 🤣 this person seems to have deleted their comments now but I wish you guys wouldn't annoy me with this shit rather than read something you enjoy

[theredofoctober]

As a queer person honestly the height of humour is turning to a friend who's also queer and calling them gay. And nobody says 'that's gay' more than we do

[theredofoctober]

Crying, the antis have found Bandersnatch again 😂😂 classic

[theredofoctober]

Creasing, finally got my first hate comment on Manna 😂 I love my poetic writing and I know it's good so I'm not even sure what they think they're getting out of this. If they wanted to insult my work they could have gone in on a typo or said the kinks in it are cringe but let's be honest my prose is fab and probably the thing even people who don't love the subject matter can get into

[theredofoctober]

Me checking the darkfic tags for all the fandoms I follow and getting frustrated when nothing new arrives