#rendering is hard hello????
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"Miguel..! Smile for the camera!"
(Dude literally throws me down Miles style-)
My pretty lil princess fr fr. Ugh. 5 months and I'm still a dog-
Extra stuff(without details n shit)
also pspsps, you should follow me on insta/twt,,, My commissions are open,,,
#rendering is hard hello????#ugh... the voices are now quiet#8TH ATTEMPT OF DRAWING MY HUSBAND 😻‼️💥#digital art#across the spiderverse#fanart#into the spider verse#miguel o'hara#atsv#shitpost#art commisions#commisions open#ibispaintx#miguel spiderverse#miguel o'hara x reader#spiderman 2099#spiderman atsv#I like to see this guys balls please-/ref
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I think my copy of the game is broken they've been doing this for 30 minutes
Crop of the Biolizard edit I did bc it makes me laugh:
#art#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#rouge the bat#their dynamic is so funny to me like hello what episode of Untucked is this#I am rotating them in a 2 bed 1 bath apartment in my mind#Also very proud of how this turned out I think I'm finally finding a comic rendering style that doesn't make me want to rip my hair out#Simplify baybee it's a comic not an illustration you can get a little crazy with it#Spoiler alert. Getting looser with lineart and better at colour schemes and simplifying shading. Is good actually.#It's so much easier to eyeball what a colour would look like in a setting instead of colourpicking the OG palette and struggling with...#...like 9 overlay and multiply and soft/hard light layers#Approximating colour genuinely looks better than forcing local colour into the piece. As long as the values are still there it works out#comic
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[ID: A mostly cool colored, digital three page comic of teen Gojo Satoru talking to young Tsumiki Fushiguro. Page one: Gojo makes a sandwich for Tsumiki who's leaning on the kitchen island. Tsumiki says "Thanks for the snacks, dad" and Gojo responds "No problem, Tsumi." In the next panel Gojo complains "Man... I wish Megumi didn't hate me so much. At least you call me dad..." Tsumiki comments "Megumi does that too, though?" In the third panel, Gojo activates his Six Eyes like a flashlight and yells "When!? Where!? Do you have it on camera!?" to a surprised Tsumiki. Page two: Tsumiki thinks about the various times Megumi has called Gojo 'dad,' including when Gojo gave them a bad hair cut, when the divine dogs bit Gojo, when Gojo made soup, and lastly when Megumi asked Tsumiki to ask Gojo to make snacks which is all represented in blue tinted drawings. In the last panel she has a devious smile and is labeled "8 yr old who just realized how funny she can be" Page three: Tsumiki cheerfully says to a gleeful Gojo "In your dreams!" The second panel shows them zoomed out with a lighting strike going through Gojo's shattered heart while Tsumiki has a cat like smile. In the third panel with a light orange background, Tsumiki is smiling while Megumi comes up behind her and asks "Why's dad crying?" /End ID]
Before this happened
Edit: It has kindly been brought to my attention that Tsumi means sin in Japanese I'm so sorry Tsumiki I should've taken five seconds to check I just wanted matching nicknames with Gumi 😭
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#tsumiki fushiguro#megumi fushiguro#fanart#art by this machine#daily doodle:#062#minigumi#dadjo#i'm not very happy with the coloring and rendering tbh#but i don't really make colored comics so you know what ? it's still a win cause making this was hard lmao#i struggled so hard with this lmaooooooo#i'm going ot go back to medibang i can't stand procreate for comics tbh#if you made it this far into my tags hello !#bonus context: tsumiki asked gojo for snacks cause megumi asked her to#FUCKING SOBBING#/light hearted#best of this machine#comic by this machine
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wolf boy 𓃦
recent episode | season 3
#that goddamn wolf was so hard to draw#lykaia#my characters#ts4#render#*lou carranza#queue#simblr#the sims community#hello from the past
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But tonight, I’ll need you to stay
#tmnt 2012#raphael hamato#casey jones 2012#rasey#I usually have some sort of scenario or story to go with the things I draw but urhhhhh I got nothing#they have different sleep schedules after all but Raphs always been a napper in his free time#urgh idk#does anyone want to come up with something for me?#the smudged face paint I stole from less-depresso-more-espresso#I loved the idea it’s so good for story telling and I wanted to give it a try#and one day I’ll draw these guys in a different style not a messy one\#but they do suit the grungy look#the last ones of these where still neater and better rendered but idc it’s fun and easy and works#i have been consumed by these two since feb but the first thing i posted was really hard for me to do so to just spam you all now is healin#the caption is from a skng rena sent me who hasnt seen 2012 but based on me talking about Casey thought it would fit#hello rasey fandom i am here on the rasey tag making my small mark
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Granite in my chest--
#bloodborne#gareth#trying to embrace whatever this render style is a bit more bc it's very freeing#no cleaning. no lines.#as soon as my instinct is to 'do a new sketch layer' I start colouring instead#it might mean some parts are ??? but it's about telling myself the shapes and stuff are still there to sell whatever it is#ie the clasp on his robe lmao#2 versions because I like the clean one lots but what's a bloodborne picture without slapping some blood all over#GARTEH MY SON blows dust off him hi hello#why him? idk he was in my head#and all the sleep token I'm listening to... the album art makes me think about bloodborne#and additionally I know I need to practice more and not just draw Nini again... (takes physic damage)#me before 2024 has even started: I'm gonna try hard to do better with art in 2024#I will probably fail this idea but hey another year another promise to try and improve maybe this time I will#art: mine#tw: blood
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I colored him 🤲🏻
#hello?????#this is my new favorite way to color???????#fucking pencil?????????#let's gooooooooooo#No way will this way of coloring be considered “rendered” or “finished” coloring but it's still rlly cool :000#bear cub art things#odysseus#the odyssey#the iliad#epic the musical#I dunno what color to make his epiblema so uh.#this for now#orange to red :]#also it is kinda hard to tell what color his eyes are and I'm telling you rn they're blue-grey#:]]]
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Fake magazine cover with an OC Kanami [they/them]
#kn8 oc#Kanami Togawa (oc)#LOOK. LOOOK. i love them#i made them for me (has a design bias n thinks they are great)#thsi fuckign cover text has so many kn8 tibbits in it#d.dont try to read it too hard tho the kanji for SURE is wrong HSDJGHSDGJSDHG#i had to google translate it so muc#anyways#available at local bookstores for 750 yen#its not#LMAO#WHYD I RENDER IT#this is a rough render technically#but like#LOOSING MY FUCKIGN MIND#HELLO#also thats a weapon case#does it look like it?? not quite#but HEY IT WORKS#IT WORKS IT WORKS IT WORKS#in my mind kanami is popular tm. they can have. a decent fanbase lmao#anyways graphic design is NOT my passion but i did my best#there is an english version but it will oust me heavily so maybe. i will post it. later#kaiju no 8 oc#kaiju no.8 oc#enn art
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also doodle fr yesterday cuz i used a skz dance practice video to do my gestures and needed to draw a Guy in a Cool Pose about it.
#i love them i missed them sm im happy to have all this backlog as i get back into them.#there are so many baby stays also i dont know how i feel about this.#anyway.#digital rendering ? from me ? in the way i used to ?#its very fun. to render this way. i didnt go very hard on it here ( no shading at all ) but even just cleaning up lines like this....#fun. idk whats on his shirt dont look to hard.#hello yes see i draw#my ocs#digital art#doodles
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i think i might collapse from stress
#the interior designer on our project left me 92 markups on the renderings for monday#and asked me to pick them all up this weekend#which sure yeah i'll do that#but it's not necessary at all for the monday deadline and it's really hard to make all these updates without messing with the other drawings#that ARE important for monday#like we literally didn't have to make changes to any of these renderings and yet she's making me pick up the tiniest comments for 11am#it just sucks bc she doesn't know how to use any of the programs we use to make these#and she SHOULD most interior designers can use them#so she can't help me with any of them and i know she's off enjoying her weekend while leaving all of this to me#like she just always needs way more of my time than she asks for#bc she cant use the programs so she doesnt know how long all this menial shit takes to do#on top of that she knows that i'm studying for what is basically the architecture MCATs#and that i was going out of town this weekend to celebrate my gfs birthday like. this is such a stupid thing to ask of me rn#and i don't know how to bring it to my team's attention#like hello she is asking me to do so much work that doesn't need to get done pls intervene#LIKE MY JOB ISNT TO BE YOUR RENDER MONKEY FUCK OFF FOR REAL
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South Park boys!! I might post a filtered version of this if it gets attention lol ❤️
#south park#south park boys#south park art#south park fanart#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#eric cartman#butters stotch#yes i know I didn’t draw kyles hat#BUT HIS HAIR#IT WAS SO… ALLURING#i love them so much#Might post filtered version later#Yes butters still plays hello kitty island adventure#cheesy poofs#Kyle’s hair#His luscious red fluffy hair#rendering is hard
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I AM GOING INSANE AHSJDKSKJFKSKDKD
@rainofthetwilight MORE ARIN ANGST! :3
the quote is from ATLA (kinda)
#OH MY GOD#OH MYFBDKEKMRFLLSLDKRKRKSLDD#THIS IS SO GOOD?????????????#AUAGSHETBJDJSKFKDK#TADDY BACK WITH ANOTHER BANGER RAHSHDRGRHRMLWGKKFKEKTMRKELE#DUDEEEEE BFKSTBKWGNKSMS THE RENDERING ON THIS#THIS GOES SO HARD RAGHFJGSGDFNKRMTMFMSKDKJFRJ#THE WAY YOU DRAW RAS BTW?? HELLO??????????#DUDE THE DETAILS AUSGHJFJFNFMRMRKKRKTJASJ#ARIN MY POOR BBY ARIN OH MY GOD#AUGHDHDHDHSJ I LOVE HIM#I'M SORRY WE'RE PUTTING YOU THROUGH ALL THIS ANGST BUD 😭#AHDJRKGJSKTNSKNFSMSMAM STARING AT THIS FOREVER THIS IS GORGEOUS#I LOVE THIS SO MUCH#I AM NOT NORMAL#taddy tag#levi's saves
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🥛🍔
#really getting fucking tired of tumblr not compressing my file itself. like it ruins the quality but it wont#automatically resize my massive fucking files!? gotta do it myself?? ugh. the lack of usability across all social media platforms is just#getting so hard to stomach anymore. nothing is functional. people get their accounts removed for no logical reason. im exhausted.#and yet i still want all my shit in a collective place -_-#ugh.do you ever look at something and are like. holy shit i painted this.damn. unfortunately it doesnt happen very often but when it does?#almost always my vent boy. why. why is that?why cant i paint anything half decent except this emo boy with a mullet?whatever. also. kinda#random but.not actually random. related actually.idk if this is just me but like. sometimes there are Articles in ur living space that just#exist. like u just accept they exist even tho u have no recollection of attaining them. im talkin clothes specifically rn. like i have this#aqua-green robe with blue trim that ive had as far back as i can recall...except i cant for the life of me remember where it came from! its#almost like it spawned in my closet one day.i just. accept it.like. dont get me wrong. it cozy. its quite physically held up for decades.#i wear it all the damn time. but ive no mortal clue how it got here. ive no memory of receiving it.also ngl i had way too much fun renderin#his beard.like u cant tell bc i apply about a million overlay layers and filters respectively to my finished works. ultimately covering up#hours + hours worth of finely rendered details each drawn individually by hand. deeming my efforts useless in the end bc i cover it up but.#trust me. i took some time with that beard.beard gang beard gang.mullet beard gang.dirty smelly mullet beard man. hello yes my name is#80 y/o who is 32/33 years old. how are you today? im personally doing terrible.good talk. WHAT CAN I SAY i just think the emo grown ass man#with boatloads of physical AND emotional trauma is neat. MY HANDS LOOK LIKE THIS SO HIS DONT HAVE TO *camera pans to a fucked up little set#of discolored claws skin translucent as alll hell. no muscle.atrophied beyond repair. also a bit of dirt is caked under the brittle + ridge#unhealthy nails. cuts and scraped take approx 3 months to heal bc the nerve functioning is That Bad*.#botdbs#fk#on a final note. I drew these about a week ago. I was literally only listening to cheeseburger in paradise the whole time. Then I learned#today that Jimmy Buffett passed away yesterday. broke my heart a little. i was just drinking my coffee from my margaritaville mug too.#Rest in peace legend. I hope heaven has so many cheeseburgers.#so many cheeseburgers in literal paradise.#Makin' the best of every virtue and vice. Worth every damn bit of sacrifice. to get a. cheeseburger in paradise.
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im making a post to support the fundraiser of ola @olagaza this is a verified campaign and is #205 in el-shab-hussein and nabulsi's vetted fundraiser list
ola is a graduate student and math teacher from gaza. she was studying at al-azhar university and had just started teaching mathematics at a school when the war began. she was very happy and excited to be teaching and to move into this chapter of her life, but because of the war everything has changed.
her neighborhood, home, university, and the school she taught at were all completely destroyed in the bombings. her and her family lost everything and are now displaced living in shelters with very few of the necessities people need. theyve been forcibly displaced multiple times since then due to the genocidal israeli armys constant changes to the size and location of 'safe zones,' where they often kill civilians with impunity anyways. theres very little food or clean water available and its priced far higher than most people can afford.
i dont think many of us reading this can truly understand what its like to live like this, with no food or shelter, with the threat of death and torture hanging over you at any second– but please try to put yourself in her shoes for a second. ola and i are the same age, and were both graduate students. but while my classes are going to be starting soon, her school (and all the schools in gaza) were completely destroyed or rendered inoperable. many of the students have been killed. reports say that the rubble itself will take years to clear. if i think about what my city would look like right now with the same level of devastation that exists in gaza its almost hard to comprehend because its such an insanely horrific level of destruction. why should this be acceptable or simply background noise to people just because its happening to gaza and not to a western city?
please share and donate. ola's campaign has been going slowly lately but the situation in gaza is not getting any better. do not let this die down just because this genocidal war has been going on for so long. things are getting worse and your donations are a serious lifeline to families on here. what you do actually matters, so please donate.
$31,630 raised of $50,000
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Interference Part 2
Prompt: You run to your FBI neighbor when you and your boyfriend get into a fight.
Part 1
You shut your laptop with a frustrated sigh and crossed out the last address you had written down on your pad of paper. The last two days you had been searching for a place to rent, only to be turned down due to your bad credit or limited income. You didn’t have the privilege of asking your family for help, most of them had shunned you once you got into your relationship and the few that did still speak with you were in no position to lend you money.
Your phone rang again for the 3rd time in 30 minutes, a blocked number popping up on the screen. You had ignored it the last 2 times for the fear that it was your boyfriend, but he should still be in jail with no chance of making phone calls, right?
Deciding it wouldn’t really hurt to answer it, you slid the call open and instantly regretted it once the familiar devious voice spoke to you.
“Hello bird,” he greeted with fake sincerity, using the pet name he made for you as a jab at your eating habits. The fear shot through you just as hard as the other night, rendering you speechless.
“I’m out baby. I’ll be home soon and we can sit down and talk about everything. Hopefully you were able to get the house cleaned, it was a mess the last time I was there.”
He didn’t get a chance to say anything more before you ended the call. Anxiety and fear began creeping into your body, making you scramble to grab a luggage bag from the closet before shoving some clothes, toiletries, and your laptop in it. Running into the living room, you peeked out of the curtains, hoping to see Aaron’s car in the driveway. No such luck.
So grabbing your keys, you left the house, not even bothering to lock it and threw your luggage into the backseat of your car. You tore out of the driveway and down the street like a bat out hell, unsure exactly how far away your boyfriend was. As reckless as driving 50 in a residential was, you took your chances of being pulled over and put as much distance between you and that house before dialing Aaron’s number at a red light.
“Hotchner,” he answered professionally from the other line.
“Aaron. He got out. I don’t know how, maybe his mom paid his bail. He called me and said he was on his way to me.” Your words were fast and frantic. You would've continued rambling had Aaron not stopped you.
"Y/N. Just take a deep breath for me, alright?"
The light turned green and you did as he instructed, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, it doing very little to calm your frazzled nerves but appreciated it regardless.
"Now do you have anywhere you can go, maybe a friends house or family member? Somewhere you'd be safe?"
"No," you spoke. "I don't have any friends and most of my family disowned me when I got into this stupid relationship. The rest of them live on the West Coast."
There was a pause of silence as you felt him thinking over the phone. Most likely figuring out the easiest way to get rid of you and your problems.
"Alright. I have some down time before my meeting in an hour. Why don't you come by and we can figure out a plan. I'll send you the address, just take the elevator to the 4th floor."
A second later you felt the buzz of your phone from the incoming text message. "Ok. Thank you so much Aaron. And I'm so sorry for taking up your time." Tears threatened to fall but you held them back.
"Don't be sorry, Y/N. I want to help you. Don't worry, we'll get this all sorted out. Just text me when you arrive."
"I will," you replied before you both said goodbye and hung up. You put the address in your navigation and drove mindlessly through traffic, so many thoughts going through your head it made you want to scream.
The address wasn't too far from your own homes, arriving there in less than an hour and heading into the very drab looking building before taking the elevator, texting Aaron that you had arrived on the way up.
You had just made it to the front desk before seeing Aaron headed in your direction, giving the receptionist a small smile. "She's with me Lonnette, thank you."
You waited as Lonnette printed your visitor badge and handed it over with a friendly smile before following Aaron through the floor, passing by glass offices and cubicles. You were quiet, not really in the mood for small talk which you felt he sensed and didn't bother saying anything as he lead you up some stairs to an office that you presumed was his by the gold name plaque on his desk.
"Have a seat, please," he offered politely, closing the door and walking over to his side of the desk. "Would you like something to drink? Water? Coffee?"
You shook your head. "No thank you. I appreciate the offer though."
He unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat down, moving some files to the side. "So I'm genuinely surprised to hear that he's out of jail. You said you think his mother bailed him out?"
"Yeah. I don't think she knows anything about what happened but whenever he asks her for money, she just sends it to him. I think she feels guilty for never being in his life so giving him money when he needs it helps her feel better about it." You rung your hands together, anxious about the whole situation as well as being there, talking with a man that was pretty much a complete stranger, bugging him for help.
"And he called you afterwards, telling you that he was on his way? Did he seem upset?" His tone was curious as if trying to get every piece of puzzle to fit perfectly in order to build an accurate idea of who your boyfriend was. It made sense considering his profession.
"I don't know. He's really good at hiding his anger until he snaps. He was talking like nothing had happened and we were just going to go back to normal." Your head whipped towards the open window blinds where someone was just walking by, Aaron noticing your jumpy behavior immediately.
"You're safe here. No one knows anything about what happened except you and I," he reassured you, making you relax just a little. "I don't think he'll be out of jail for long though, at least until he sees the judge for arraignment. I will personally see to that."
His words brought you a bit of placidity and hope as you still wondered why he would go through such lengths to help you out.
"I do have a small flat not far from here that I use occasionally for late nights at the office when I don't want to drive all the way home. You can stay there for now, until you find a place of your own if you'd like. Completely up to you, I don't want you to feel pressured."
Your eyes looked up from the floor to meet his, surprised by his offer.
"I- uh. I couldn't impose on you like that-
"You wouldn't be. I barely use it anymore, I prefer to be at my home with my son whenever I can."
Son? He has a son. Of course he does. He probably also has a wife or at least a girlfriend since you didn't see a ring on his finger. The thought of him with a son didn't bother you, in fact it only gave you more of a reason to trust him.
"If you're sure you don't mind," you said, trying not to sound too excited, relieved that you wouldn't have to go back to your boyfriends house. "Please let me pay some sort of rent or something though. It's the least I can do."
He shook his head no, his expression soft and nonchalant. "Don't worry about it. You're gonna need the money for your new place. Just promise me that you won't contact him or go back to that house unless you have some sort of escort, preferably by law enforcement."
You could be my escort.
You nodded in agreement, ignoring your thoughts.
“Alright then. I can send you the address and give you the keys now. I'm not sure if the fridge is stocked but feel free to add or throw anything away. There is a washer and dryer there so you can wash the sheets and anything else you need." He pulled his keys from his desk drawer and removed a ring with a single key on it, holding it out for you.
You took it gratefully and stood with him as he buttoned his suit back up and checked his watch.
"Could I at least make you dinner or something?" you blurted, not sure where such confidence came from. "I mean, I just want to do something for you in return for your incredible generosity." You couldn't stop the blush from burning your cheeks, your words successfully embarrassing yourself.
A small smile played at the corner of his mouth, showing off just the slightest sight of dimples. "I'll be with my son tonight but maybe we could grab a coffee sometime tomorrow."
You smiled back, more than satisfied with his offer and followed him out of his office, feeling a few stares from people but avoided eye contact. Aaron walked you back to the receptionist and even had her add you as a contact so visiting would be an easier feat.
"Thank you again Aaron," you spoke, the anxiety you had been feeling for the last few hours, finally beginning to dissipate. He answered with a friendly nod and you entered the elevators. Once the doors closed and you were completely alone, you took in a deep breath. Maybe everything was going to be ok like he said.
#aaron hotchner x y/n#ssa aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner x reader#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds fanfiction#hotch x reader#bau team#thomas gibson
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LOVE BETWEEN TWO — n.rk
synopsis: you and riki have different ways of seeing love but, in the end, you'll always know who you'll end up with.
or
moments building up before the first i love you
tags: childhood friends to lovers, non!idollau, neighbour!riki x f! reader, FLUFF!!!, only fluff and comfort :)
warning: proofread but might have some spelling + grammar errors
wordcount: 4.5k
published: 3rd october, 2024
authors note: this oneshot acts as a thankyou for all the followers and love i get!! i’m so sorry for not being more active :( BUT i completed this! and i just want to say THANK YOU FOR 1000!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU WHOLE!!! as much as riki loves you! and as much as we love riki :)
reblogs + comments appreciated
Act 1: loving
Riki had never understood love – that is, until he met you. He knew he loved many things, like dance, and his family and friends, but if you had asked him if he knew what love meant, he would have buffered like a 2000s-era computer. Of course, Riki knew what love was; he had watched it in K-dramas and had seen it rendered in manga. By their definition, love was hard. Love was hard and difficult and full of miscommunication, but also, love was soft and kind and offered the sweetest touches to one's heart that anyone could ask for.
Love was everything, and nothing, all at the same time.
He then concluded, after the piles of pirated manga and dramas he had accumulated over his 17 years of boyhood, that love was simply you. He didn’t need to be a genius to understand that; he knew if it wasn’t you, then no one was going to fit that definition of love for him. Riki didn’t fully understand love, but he understood you – how he felt about you. You, in all your beautiful glory. Love was your touch, your smile, your laugh. Love was what he looked forward to every day.
You were truly the only exception to his dilemma of love, because with you, love came so easily. Love was just like breathing – it was so effortless when it came to you. Love for you felt like rain kissing his cheeks in humid summers, like snow tickling his nose during winter, like an autumn leaf falling on his head in the fall, like cherry blossoms blooming when spring arrived.
Love for you felt like nature, like it was natural. He was sure he had been born to love you, inside and out. From the moment he had met you at the age of 4, when you were dressed in stained patchwork overalls, obviously from playing in the dirt; your hair tied in uneven pigtails because you had just had to tie them yourself. Your hands clasped some wilted old flowers he had passed while walking Bisco; you had offered them to him as a greeting gift with that cute little grin of yours.
“Hello! Want to be my best friend?”
Four-year-old Riki didn’t know it just yet, though he did have an inkling, but he would be head over heels for the girl in front of him for the rest of his life.
He had stared at the flowers in your hand, weak and slouchy in posture. He looked back up at you and didn’t have the heart to tell you that those flowers were the exact ones Bisco had decided to relieve herself on. So, he took those piss-stained flowers and nodded his head with as much agreement as his little body could give.
At the ripe age of 18, as he watched you from across his window, peering into your room, where you haphazardly flopped onto your bed with exhaustion despite only hanging out in his room all day. He could just tell you had screamed into your bed by the way you flailed around at the edge. He watched you suddenly stop, as if you had run out of battery, flip over to your back, and lay still for a while longer.
He loved you.
You could sense him staring at you, with your strangely acquired Riki-sense. You lifted your head to confirm your theory, and there he was, leaning against the window frame staring into your room. His eyes lay still on the object that was yourself, and he was filled with so much adoration, so much love, so much bliss at even the sight of you.
And yet, you scoffed at his blatant staring, feeling his chocolate-brown eyes peer into your soul like the Ghost Rider from the movies. Of course, he had that stupid love-stricken look, and of course, he was already waiting for you to stare back.
Love for you had meant many things – too many things to quite pinpoint the right meaning. As you grew up, you learnt more about love than loss, and hence, you learnt that love hurts.
Love was like the humidity in summer, where the air was too thick, and the wind stuck to your skin; love was like the dullness of autumn, where the wind was cold and brisk but not enough to complain about – just enough to be irritable; love was like winter, where it got so cold you couldn’t even feel your face anymore, the season of sickness and disease that forced you to remain indoors and watch the sky cry frozen tears; love was like spring, when hay fever was at its worst, staining your cheeks with unintentional tears and a stuffy nose.
Love was hard. Love was difficult. Love was confusing.
You remembered every single time something you had loved got lost. The very first time was when the friendship bracelet Riki had made you when you were 5, decorated with mismatched charms and trinkets, disappeared one day when you went to the park. The nights you had spent crying didn’t outweigh the nights 5-year-old Riki had spent consoling and reassuring you that he’d make another one – a better one. But 5-year-old you knew the sentiment that was put into that very first bracelet, the one made without obligation to be replaced.
You remembered wailing about how it wouldn’t be the same, that Riki would have the very first bracelet, and you’d have a stupid second version because you had been careless. Then, you remembered the sound of beads crashing onto the ground, scattering anywhere and everywhere. You were scared you’d slip and crash despite being a giant compared to a measly bead.
“Now I’ll make two new ones so we’ll both be the same again.”
You couldn’t recall a more romantic and pleasant memory, where Riki had been so genuine and cute, so willing to give up something that was his to meet your happiness.
Five-year-old Riki really had you wrapped around his finger from that day on.
Despite your own volition, your heart bloomed and blistered, so full of him. It beat to the spelling of his name (in Morse code), and you couldn’t help but pull the threatening smile down into the scowl you attempted to display.
Like clockwork, your eyes locked with the same amount of love and willingness that you gave yourself credit for. You crawled towards your window and lifted it open so you could talk to him again as if the past 12 hours hadn’t occurred.
He was waiting for you, gazing like the stars had blessed his presence – graced his very being with the holiness that was you.
You had to force yourself to calm the oh-so-obvious flush of your cheeks, putting it down to hike up to your room as the reason for your sudden flare-up.
“Aren’t you tired of looking at me all day?” you remarked, and he was so quick with his reply, “I could never get tired of looking at you.”
Him and his flirty personality. You didn’t remember where he had gotten it from, or how he had developed it. You’d grown up with him all your life, and that part of his personality was still an anomaly.
You let a scoff out, rolling your eyes and folding your arms, blatantly ignoring the ache in your cheeks that you refused to surrender to his love.
“It’s not like I’ll disappear if you blink, relax,” but Riki had never been more relaxed than when he was looking at you. Not just the plain stares he gave during his maths classes, or at the dinner table, or even when he stared at his home screen that was so obnoxiously filled with you, but the type that showed interest, that showed he was immersed, devoured, totally consumed by whatever had his attention.
He liked to think he had found the perfect balance of clinginess and distance but still unknowingly leaned towards pulling you in.
“Most girls would love it if I stared at them,” he had said.
He was right. Nearly every girl at school would have sold an arm and a leg just for the boy to even look in their direction. If you weren’t you, you would have cherished and felt blessed to even have the Nishimura Riki in your presence.
But you were you, and you had grown up with this annoying brat all your life. Even if he could be sweet and sensitive at times, or when he tried to show you he was more man than boy, he was still Riki: your first friend, your best friend, and your first love.
Besides, someone had to keep his beautiful ass humbled, or else he would have resorted to those once-targeted alpha male Andrew Tate ads.
“To be honest, I find it a bit creepy,” you had snickered to yourself as he pouted at your response.
Those cute lips of his.
You had always known how to bring his rising ego down, one way or another.
With your smart and witty remarks, you anchored him just enough so he didn’t fly away and drift into the realm of egoism.
He couldn’t get enough of you.
“Fine. I’ll stop looking at you,” he had declared, but his eyes betrayed his words, and his gaze never, not once, pulled away. He had one eye open now, tilting his head away but still, ever so slightly, gazing upon the beauty that you emitted.
And you were still looking. Of course, you were; of course, you would.
You never took your eyes off him because he was just so cute, and his attempt to one-up you in snark was quite endearing.
“Good luck with that,” you had laughed, leaning onto your palm as you watched him sigh in defeat, but not before he caught your own gaze on him.
“Oooh, why are you looking at me like that?” he had prompted, leaning over his window to be closer to you. “Do you think I’m cute?” he wriggled his eyebrows ever so playfully, that shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
“No,” you had deadpanned, dropping your palm down to the frame. He pouted again, more pouty than usual, pulling a frown.
He whined with one of those annoying squeals, something you had grown used to over the years of knowing him. “My girlfriends are so mean to me,” he had said, frowning with his eyebrows pinching and lips pouting. You couldn’t help the small pull of your lips, seeing how comical he was being.
For a split second, you had lingered on his words. “My girlfriend,” he had said with so much pride. “My girlfriend” was all you really heard because he was calling you his girlfriend like it was your name, like it was a prize, a gift, a blessing. “My girlfriend” sounded like honey-laced praises.
He had feigned a gasp at the sight of you trying to hide your smile, and then you had burst into giggles because, of course, you revelled in his misery. But it was okay because the sound of your laughter, that joyous giggle, had erupted because of him, and that was more than enough to subside the little bits of bullying you always seemed to aim at him.
His heart beat along with the rhythm of your laugh.
It was late, and the stars had been watching your tales unfold.
Of a girl whose love yearned and pined, reaching the moon and kissing the ocean. Whose love was kept sacred and scarce, and yet, a love that was sought after, searching for love like hers. One that treasured and was kept safe, a love made of steel but soft like wool. A love that comforted.
And of a boy who loved like no other, so full and so rich. Whose love poured like the rain kissing the ground – endless and fulfilling. A love so abundant, it counted for the world.
There was so much love, too much. It was overbearing, consuming, and it was eating you both alive.
It was overwhelming.
“Hey.”
Your name had left his mouth like honey.
The silence of the gap between your two homes became deafening. Your laugh had slowly died, and your attention had glued onto him alone.
It was now or never.
Riki had known that love was you. He had known that the moment his eyes met yours, his definition had been filled in an instant.
He knew, he had loved – no, he loved you.
His second pause after the call had been enough to erupt a yawn from your lips, ever so slightly slipping past your perfectly shaped lips.
“You should get to bed,” he had said, but the lovesick gaze that you were too tired to catch said everything.
You had fought the urge to ask him what he was really thinking. You were tired, but you knew Riki – your Riki. You knew how his eyebrows pinched a certain way when he contemplated, only further accentuated when he hesitated.
You had his entire face burned into your mind, and your heart.
But for tonight, you had let him and his burning thoughts wait as you slightly nodded.
“I’m not gonna wake you up this time,” you replied, smiling ever so slightly.
You had left your window open, as you always did. Your window to his – it was like you were always together, connected through a fated string that crossed from one pane to the other.
…
Act 2: between
You had grown to find joy within nothingness—or so you told yourself.
All your life, you had searched for things to put meaning into. Simple commodities that resembled fractions of joy you attempted to keep. As a child, you had never pondered trivial things that would be impossible to find answers to.
You loved the definite, the certain, the things you knew you could hold close to your heart and never let go. Like the grudge you held for the boy who had bullied Riki when he was nine—too fiery of emotions for little you to experience. Your little face had burned red with anger, fists balled and shaking with rage. There had been no stopping nine-year-old you from unleashing divine fury upon the bully. Or like the childhood bracelet Riki made when you were kids, which you had sworn never to remove despite the horrendous combination of charms. A symbol of your eternal friendship.
As you stuffed your locker with yet another textbook you barely cared about, you heard cheers echo against the walls, ricocheting straight into your ears. The stampede of footsteps seemed to hurdle past you, racing toward an unknown presence from across the hall.
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t know who that presence was. Of course you did. You couldn’t ignore it, not when his fiery gaze burned holes into the back of your head.
You subtly looked over your shoulder, and there he was, in his glorious seven-foot-something stature. You saw how all the girls crowding him seemed to be trying to attract his attention, calling for his name, asking him silly, mundane questions. Anything just for a simple glance, but all Riki could do was stare at you like you were a lost treasure he had just discovered.
His gaze alone spoke a thousand words.
"I wish I could hold you."
"Your hand is mine."
"I want you."
"I need you."
"I miss you."
Those were more your feelings than what you thought his gaze said, but you had an inkling he felt the same way.
In the space between you, from metres away across the hall, you couldn’t help but feel so full of him—him and his love. He was saying nothing, yet the whole world went deaf in his presence.
You could see, miraculously through the heart-eyed girls, how he fidgeted with the little torn hem at the bottom of his shirt, remembering how you had been the culprit for that "measly" (his words, not yours) tear.
You watched as he scratched his neck awkwardly, trying to be as polite as a boy could be when rejecting a starry-eyed girl. They gave him chocolate-covered strawberries—though you knew he’d only eat them if they were microwaved despite your protests—and little love letters he would never end up reading, also despite your pitied protests.
All you wanted to do was pull him out of the crowd of crazed girls, to scream that he was yours—despite often telling him that you weren’t an object and shouldn’t be defined as "mine." Maybe it was jealousy that rippled through your blood, burning with a touch of yearning because, of course, you yearned for him. Every second of the day.
You yearned for his touch, his words, his silence.
Despite your many reluctances to say so, you were so deeply infatuated with Riki, you might as well have sprawled it across your forehead. Every distant look, light feathery touch, gentle breath that brushed against the shell of your ear. Everything he did, you clung to like a hoarder. A stupid, love-stricken hoarder. Every thought of yours was consumed by him, captivated by his every essence. Feminists before you would have shaken their heads, disappointed by how much you thought of Riki.
Frankly, you were too smitten with your dear ol’ boyfriend, even if he claimed you didn’t show enough affection to him.
Maybe it was for the best, as your gazes left each other like strangers with a fleeting glance. Similarly to last night, there was an invisible wall separating the two of you, tension threatening to crack under the pressure.
Riki was still being bombarded by love-sick girls, his longing gaze shifting into more of a plea as he watched you with all the free space he was supposed to take up.
You ignored his plea, of course, turning back around and into your locker. You would speak to him later anyway—it’s what he gets for making you late this morning (you had waited for him, as you always did).
…
Act 3: two
The two of you sit in the silence of your room for a change. The curtains of your window that peer into his room are pulled shut, dimming the space enough that you can only tell his expressions if you’re inches away from each other.
Which you are.
Riki insisted on staying over this time, wanting to leave the musk of his room for once. But really, he misses the sight of your walls.
Plastered across from him are pictures of friends and family, some of him and your shared friend group, others of his sisters and you. He thinks to himself how you have a knack for interior design, pleased with the way you showcase your love through photographs.
You say it eternalises the memories, so even when you’re both old and rotten to match your insides, you’ll always have the days of your youth.
And there’s a little flutter in his stomach when he thinks back to this memory because you said “both.” He loves that you see him forever entangled in your life.
Riki watches you doom-scroll on that godforsaken bird app. He likes to believe he’s got all your micro-expressions down—like the slight twitch of irritation in your eyebrow, the lift at the corner of your lip when you see something funny, or the scrunch of your nose when you see a resurfaced video of Nikocado Avocado.
Riki doesn’t spend half as much time on his education as he does staring at you. You’re awfully beautiful in your (his) shirt and dirty sweatpants. You’ve never bothered putting effort into your appearance when you’re in the comfort of your (or his) room, having known him far too long to care if he thinks your shirt smells like perpetual instant ramen.
His eyes travel from your appearance back to your face, and he just loves you. Loves sitting next to you. Loves seeing your face.Loves your appearance. Loves your personality. Loves that you're the opposite of a breath of fresh air—you’re comforted in his old, musty room.
Because even if he and you were stuck back in his room, you’d never change. You’re constant.
He loves the way your voice drops when you sense your tone’s shifted higher when talking to him, saying you’ll never be caught speaking to him with a babied voice. He loves how you deny his obvious affection for you—behind closed doors, because he wouldn’t hear the end of it from his friends. He loves your loudness, your quietness, your happiness, your silence.
He loves you.
He’s going to say it.
As he stares at you, yearning for you, you pretend not to notice the burning gaze of your lover. Twitter lost your attention long ago—the nth tweet about yet another scandal circling the app. Instead, you focus on your breathing. With how wild your heart’s beating, the best you can do is control how you breathe—ensuring you don’t fold in front of the lovely boy cuddled up next to you.
If Riki really knew how much you adored him—his hair, his eyes, his laugh, his smile, him—you’d never hear the end of it.
In truth, you’re simply enamoured with him. You love him. Everything about him. Years of girlhood wasted on a beautiful and sweet boy. Girlhood never prepares you for how to love a boy so lovely, so perfect. You think about how there have only been a few moments in your life where you’ve felt nothing but bliss.
Childhood was easy; ever since that fateful day where you picked a bunch of piss-covered flowers, you had no worries other than befriending the awkward little boy next door.
You’ll be sure to thank your parents’ boss for the move.
Teenhood, not so much; it’s riddled with an array of angst and anxiety. It’s a surprise you’re not imploding from the assignment you’ve been procrastinating or having a philosophical crisis like “what is love?”. But no, teenhood, albeit filled with plenty of anger and sorrow, has its fair share of wonderful moments.
Like right now, sitting in the comfort of your room—for a change. You’ve spent time imagining how your life would unravel, always with him in it, and how it ended up. The pictures plastered across the room aren’t just for show—they’re evidence that you’re happy.
Blissful.
Without Riki, you wouldn’t know what bliss is. Feeling nothing but pure and utter love.
He’s everything perfect about love.
And of course, you’ve said “I love you” plenty of times—80% of those times were when you were just kids. But that was when you were just friends. A silly phrase, really, because if you ask anyone who’s known you two since you were kids, they’d say you guys got married at the ripe age of seven with grass-bladed rings and flower crowns, with any passing animal as witness to your youthful marriage.
But now you’re dating—the dreaded boyfriend-girlfriend status. Nothing’s really changed in your relationship. Riki remains full of love and charisma, his attitude never wavering because, as he puts it, he’s known you were “the one” since you handed him those dirty flowers. You’ve remained witty and lovely as always, retaining the same spunk you had as a kid. The only two differences (soon to be one) are that your status has changed from friends to dating, and you’ve yet to say those three words, eight letters.
The phone that sits in your loose grip almost slips out, clearly losing its purpose of mindless distraction. To your dismay, Riki catches sight of your fumble, noting that you haven’t scrolled in seven minutes.
“Did my shameless staring finally catch your attention?”
He’s shameless, alright.
You drop your phone, staring deep into his dreamy eyes. You remain silent, but your expression tells him everything.
Despite the pull of your eyebrows and the purse of your lips, you love him.
“Say… what’s one thing you love about me?” he prompts, ready to finally tell you those long-awaited words. He’s thought it all out—how he’d list everything he loves about you, like he’s about to write your biography. He’s been dreaming of this moment since you started dating.
You think thoughtfully, like you’re scrounging your brain for an answer, leaving the silence in the room to deafen him with anticipation.
“Hey! Stop thinking so much!” Riki exclaims, offended that you’ve taken more than three seconds to answer, while his response would take 0.003 milliseconds (at least in his mind).
You let out a playful giggle, something you gave up trying to hide long ago. “I’m kidding,” you say, smiling.
“I’m kidding,” he mocks you in his ridiculous, high-pitched voice.
You love many things about him, too many to count. You simply love everything about him, like a reflex you can’t control.
“I love it when you’re silent.”
Riki visibly deflates, a slight frown ghosting his plump lips. His eyebrows pinch into a “what the hell” kind of expression, and his nose scrunches cutely at your words.
But you smile knowingly, taking in his sudden silence. You tune into the stillness of the room.
A rapid heartbeat.
“If you hate talking to me, just sa—”
“Because even when you’re quiet,” you interrupt, stretching your hand out to gently caress his hair, “you’re the loudest in the room.”
Your hand travels from his hair to cup his cheek, and Riki—the ever entranced—instinctively leans into your touch.
“Because you can just look at me, and I hear everything I need to hear.”
Your words are soft, gentle, and Riki swallows the lump in his throat that he hadn’t realised had formed. He stares deeply into your eyes—a different kind of stare than before.
Normally tender and kind, full of unspoken words of love. Now, all you see is devotion.
Riki focuses on the silence you’ve created, tuning into the nothingness that you said you loved about him.
And he thinks he can hear it, the silence.
It’s so loud, it bounces off the walls, pounding in his heart—even you can hear it.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
“What do you hear?” He pulls you closer, your lips hovering above his, so close he can feel your breath.
“I hear ‘I love you.’ ”
Your lips mould against his before he can respond, but something tells him that you know. And besides, he has a lifetime's worth of “I love yous”— he’ll let you have this one.
author's note pt.2: its been more than a year since i made this wip and i finally finished it LOLLL it took me so longggg ANDDD i feel like its a bit lackluster in the second act... ENJOY THOUGH. i love the the ending
#mandukkul#mandukkul’s aquarium#enhypen#nishimura riki x reader#ni ki x reader#niki x reader#riki nishimura x reader#nishimura niki x reader#ni-ki#niki fluff#nishimura riki#ni ki#niki enhypen#enhypen x reader#niki imagines#riki nishimura#enhypen riki
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