#reminiscing past lives
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#true connection#soulmate love#deep emotional bond#unconditional support#finding your person#memories and dreams#heartfelt words#true friendship#cherished moments#vulnerable love#beautiful relationship#love and joy#special bond#timeless connection#emotional depth#reminiscing past lives#heartfelt experiences#soulful understanding#lifelong bond#personal growth through love
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outing myself as a speeding bullet enjoyer
#speeding bullet#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#team fortress 2 fanart#tf2 scout#tf2 sniper#i headcanon scout as The Hopeless Romantic he listens to So Much 60s love songs#especially doo wop (extra points for this because his ma would play it in the living room or while cooking reminiscing on past/current love)#fanart#art#doodle#sniperscout
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Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep - The Land of Departure
#kingdom hearts birth by sleep#khbbs#land of departure#scenery#my gif#man... i really do wish we could have spent more time in this world and learned more about the characters' lives here#it's very beautiful with a big castle but it's also very desolate#almost as if no one else lives in this world#no sight of any towns in the distance even when viewing the world from space#vanitas describes it as a tiny world so i think it's safe to assume there really isn't much of anything past those mountains#it could have to do with eraqus's vehement hatred of darkness so he raises his pupils in such a sheltered environment#as a means to 'protect them'#he does suck as a master honestly#so what's up with this place anyway?#the architecture is reminiscent of scala ad caelum but is it because eraqus modeled it after his home town or is there more to it?#in the fourth gif with the flags there's a bridge that you can't fully see but it's destroyed and doesn't lead anywhere#not that there's any land across from it that it could even lead towards#it raises a lot of questions...#i could be looking too far into things but it's fun to speculate#haha jonathan you read my essay
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found a picture on pinterest and like c'mon. them??
#yui kimura#nea karlsson#yui dbd#nea dbd#dbd#dbd fanart#dead by daylight fanart#dead by daylight#yuinea#i think they would share a smoke and stargaze. reminisce on good times and shitty times in their past lives#they miss it all#my art
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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I just thought about a convo me and my friend @nellietrelawney had about WoT s2 and I was like "son like mother pushing away friends cause they think its safer and better if they did it alone."
And she went "well at least Rand being nice about it."
It just tickles me because baby his friends think he's dead 😂😂😭.
#rand al'thor#moiraine damodred#wot on prime#wheel of time#shit got me fucking LOSING it#cause lmaooo at least moiraine's friends know she's alive and breathing#egwene thought she was fucking hallucinating when he came to her in a dream#a whole six months later 😂😂 and Perrin and Nynaeve and Egwene reminiscing about the good times#meanwhile Rand is living the life of a sugar baby#unknowingly fucking his old lover from his past life#who also happens to be a forsaken
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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Man i miss being home from college in the summer and just watching anime for 6 hours straight in the living room with my brother with the windows open, the breeze carrying a slight hint of the ocean from the shore of the sound a few miles away
#Sorry this is not relatable i’m just reminiscing bc the first hint of summer always makes me think fondly of summers past#My living room situation is far far less idyllic these days LOL#ever.txt
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Dog days are over was written for Nadia Vulvokov actually
#Russian Doll#nadia vulvokov#natasha lyonne#florence and the machine#dog days are over#It's true. Florence told me that herself#'leave all your love and your longing behind. you can't carry it with you if you want to survive'#LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THAT ISN'T THE ENTIRE PREMISE OF THE SHOW#Actually yes. you have to leave the love and the pain and the longing and everything that happened#if you ever want to move past it. and live and love again and if you want to stay in the present and not be trapped in the past#You have to drop that weight and walk forward#It will always be with you but only as reminiscent of the past. you cannot change it. but you can live with it#gods I fucking love this song and this show
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Remembering the days when I was such a fast reader I can read at least several stories in a single month cuz I loved reading so much and wouldn't put the story down once I started reading but then the Fire Nation™️ (The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller) attacked and I've never been the same since... I'm such a slow reader now cuz of it.
#aria rants#a new fear in me unlocked when i finished reading that book and thats: the Fear of Knowing... such is the fate of a reader...#also its cuz the song of achilles had a trope that hurts me SO BADLY which is reminiscing bout the past but tsoa did it in such a way#that the very moment etched itself into my soul i never recovered from it at all. like-- i cry easily yea. thats a fact#ive cried from other stories before tsoa and i turned out fine but the way i cried at tsoa was like-- a full on BAWL#it was so embarrassing too cuz i was reading it on my phone in the living room and my mom and grandpa was there#and im just in the corner straight up bawling my eyes out that my lil handkerchief was DRENCHED#it affected me that badly. thinkin back on it is pretty funny but at the same time-- MAN did it hurt
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#thinking#reminiscing#childhood#you’re on your own kid#dark academia#poetry#writing#i see you#sitting#whatwouldyoudo#paradise#past lives#life quotes
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sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive
#lighthearted but also serious bc what is going on here buddy#been feeling weird as hell these past few months#like I can remember some stuff… but it doesn’t feel normal to forget the names of anyone I haven’t seen/heard the name of in a few days#or forget about basic interests and personality traits and experiences and feel like a blank slate every day#idk like ultimately life goes on and I’m happy to live in the moment but it would be nice to understand why my brain is doing this#just thinking#meposting#I think my brain just. does this sometimes when I’m stressed. which is annoying#I recall (lmao) feeling similar during earlier parts of life so this isn’t *new* it’s just unexpected and much more disruptive as an adult#I’m feeling better about it than I was. after like. acknowledging it. bc my mind has not always felt like a sieve it isn’t always this bad.#whatever#I’ll tag as dissociation just in case it’s related/reminiscent and ppl don’t want to see that#dissociation#me and her go way back… haven’t seen each other in years though#she wasnt all bad! coping mechanisms can provide relief and a sense of safety#and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s not the most unhealthy. though it ranks high in ‘socially stunting’#I kind of miss the distance sometimes to be honest everything’s just So Much all the time#I’m so solid now#so stuck in the ruts of capitalism#fuck capitalism#I wish my imagination didn’t feel so dulled#sorry I love talking#and I don’t miss dissociation when I feel mentally present because I feel so Here with the people and things I love but rn?#it’s like a lose-lose bc I am not Here nor am I untethered. I’m heavy yet hold nothing#I enjoy being dramatic/poetic about it — I feel pretty fine. I just hope this isn’t a permanent and/or long-term state of existence.#like it makes me awful at my job I went from remembering a solid amount of the student body’s names (built up over a few years) to. like 5.#overnight it felt like. like Stressful Thing happened and I went to work and I couldn’t remember anyone’s names.#can’t believe I have to start from fucking scratch AGAIN I’d be better off quitting and working at a different school#bc at least then my lack of knowledge/remembering is justified rather than strange and seemingly rude#I’m getting better now but at the beginning of this it was blue screen in my brain all the time
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haikaveh - pepper (acoustic)
take the picture to remember this by you'll never hold all the details in your mind
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'cause all we've got is a version of the truth a recollection that is often misconstrued
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take a picture to remember me by to show everybody who you left behind
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'cause all we've got is a version of events favorably framed for the sake of self defense
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kiss me just this one last time tell me that you once were mine kiss me just this one last time show me that your love was mine
pepper (acoustic) - death cab for cutie
#a headcanon or au?#who knows#not me thats for sure#but imagine if you will#haikaveh post fallout#reminiscing on the past#or perhaps in a chance meeting#suppose they meet again at lambads in another life#a more unfortunate timeline in which#alhaitham can't or doesn't offer his home#perhaps they spend the time together#perhaps kaveh is miserable and down on his luck#perhaps the old fire and love was still there#but the ghosts of the old argument are too and it comes too heavy between them#whatever love they had does not push them forward#and thus. just a picture to remember#just a kiss before you go#i read a fic once where they met between the fallout and the reconciliation#and that limbo is where i imagine this song to live#haikaveh#alhaitham#kavehtham#kaveh x alhaitham#rain's aus#i want to write this. perhaps another time
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thinking of the gojo heir au where he becomes such an engima in his older age. only summoned for missions that are completely out of everyone's hands, though, some are led to believe satoru is nothing more than a myth. the complexity of being a legend && mortal while everything passed him by but he remained stuck in the same place.
#// this verse makes me a lil emo since he's like...34-41#// so many have left while he stays behind reminiscing of a distant past#// someone be his attendant or close advisor so he doesn't become a living wraith#out of character.
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oh yeah i know this is like. my blog so i get to choose the posts and all but i think i need to issue a formal apology over this so.
sorry to everyone watching me slip back into ensemble stars it’s been an unfortunate road here and tragically having been into it when i was a teenager predisposed me to getting a little reinvested years down the line 😭
#tldr downloaded the game to play w someone. got kind of invested in seeing how far everyone has grown since when I tapped out#bc I was a fan in 2016-2017 for the most part so like… still pretty early. there’s a world of difference between 2017 era and now 2020-#w the og cast anyway. the new cast r also my oomfs for the most part tho. :(#my fav is just like idol boy tharja reminiscent. same weird creepy writing sometimes bc the writers suck. really good character past it. 😔#missy said this one was deeply unsurprising for me. she’s not wrong.#also it has some really good music and the lives are fun and there’s fun content w the seiyuus. I am not immune to good music. or va content#anyways. I’m so sorry everyone
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"never meet your heroes"
Kenzington had a few ideas about what he'd be like when he got older. Maybe he'd work with a Nurse Joy, or he'd be a bouncer somewhere. Maybe even a pokemon ranger! Nothing too grand- he knew he wasn't good at schooling, had dropped out to take care of his family, and that maybe his options were limited but...
He never imagined he'd grow up to be a callous, apathetic, murderous monster.
#Khan a.#Tfw you know what you grew up to be would be a letdown for your younger self#Khan doesn't regret himself unless he lets himself reminisce and remember his past#He knows how much of a disappointment and horror he would be if his younger self could see him#(he knows how much of a horror and disappointment he IS to himself)#Which is why he's a major 'live in the present' person lol
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