#reminiscent grieving

[july-19th-club]

i brought him over with me, you know. we sailed together under avery when we was kids. he was my first bunkmate. and for years, he went on how he'd got this huge stash, hidden away. and i should live to survive him, because one day, i will be a rich man. but as you know...we lost him on the pembroke. so i open his locker and what do i find? twelve pesos. a busted pocket watch. and a letter with instructions to deliver it to his sister in new york. lying sack of shit! was mister craig. so: i bought the boys a round with the pesos, traded the pocket watch for a bit of tail, and spent two weeks that winter in new york trying to deliver that fucking letter to his sister. looked high and low. never found her. so on the way home, i waited until we were in open water and i could see no land in any direction. and i dropped it over the side. returned to the sea...there are no legacies in this life, are there? no monuments. no...history. just the water. it pays us, and then it claims us. swallows us whole. if you EVEN care

[askblueandviolet]

You still think it's not your fault?

MASTER POST

Asks Start 💙🐶

Previous 💙🐶

Next 💜🩷

[p-ink-ink]

I saw your friends for the first time in years.

It was another funeral. It was hard to be there. It seems funerals are the only place old friends show up for each other now.

I spoke to Joey, he said that after your death, your old friend group fell apart.

They rarely see each other now. Three years without you and things are still so different. He wished it brought them all closer, I wished that too. It's the least we could do for you now.

Being around them yesterday only showed to me the depth of your absence. I remember being a little girl, always wanting to hang out with you and them. The "big kids" The "cool teenagers" You guys were everything I thought was cool. I was just the silly little sister back then.

But now I am around them. But you're not here. They're getting engaged now. They're settled in their full time jobs now. They're moving out of state now. They're hanging out together now, just like you'd be doing all the time as kids. And my heart breaks again to realize how much you missed in your twenty eight year life..

[pinkhairandpokemon]

Man, I miss my team. From Hisui, I mean.

Have I talked about Hugo yet? He was an alpha Bibarel, so he was like, HUGE. As big as a small bed give or take. He’d hog my futon all the time but he was adorable so it was fine.

I wish I still had all those photos I got taken of him and my other ‘mons, but the only one I managed to hold onto was that one of Ignis. There was one of my entire team I had hung up in my quarters- I wonder if it’s still out there somewhere. If it is I hope it’s still in tact… I’d like to see their faces again. Even if it’s just in photograph form.

[haedia]

And then, after the Fade prison, they're all like "Ohhhh. Okay, now that makes more sense"

I'd love to see what they all do post-canon (when things have calmed down a bit) to help Rook grieve now that they actually know. It'd probably be similar things, but actually having Rook be able to be present the way they expected originally would be nice. It'd be so sweet and tender.

Just losing my mind at the implications that the companions have all been trying to help Rook grieve Varric, and Rook doesn’t know

Emmrich, wise and long-familiar with grief, being told by Neve and Harding what happened; understanding why sometimes he overhears Rook’s muffled voice in the Infirmary, talking to no one. He takes Rook to the Memorial Gardens and mentions he talks to his parents, thinking Rook might be comfortable with the same. Rook lights candles and rings bells but Emmrich watches, sorrowed, to see Rook still seems in deep denial.

Neve takes Rook to the Wall of Light; a Shadow Dragon Rook knows just what this means but any Rook can understand the solemnity, the power of remembrance. Neve reenergizes Brom���s light and looks to Rook, hoping Rook will mention wanting to make one for Varric. Rook is kind and comforting to Neve, but Neve is lost in wondering why Rook doesn’t take the chance to open up. She can’t figure it. Maybe Rook just can’t face it, not yet. Maybe Rook does something privately. She isn’t sure but it nags at her.

Davrin’s not big on talking about feelings. He’d rather just move on. But he sees the way Rook seems a little hollow sometimes, a little distant; he sees how Rook takes so quickly to Assan. “Hey Rook,” he says, and invites them to come with him and Assan to safe places in Arlathan, where the woods are clean and green and growing, where real sunlight dapples through the trees. Rook always seems to love these outings, seems lighter afterwards. But Davrin feels a little confused in that Rook never seems to realize the outings are mostly for them.

Taash is another person not big on feelings. But they know how much feelings can twist you up and mess with your head. When Lace tells them about Varric they feel badly for Rook, and think to how they feel when they’re struggling. Epic fights, dragon fights, drinks with the Lords. Taash is perfectly capable of doing all that on their own. But maybe bringing Rook along will help get them out of their head a little bit. Does it help? Taash isn’t sure.

Bellara’s double-versed in grief after what happens to Cyrian. Rook helped her through trying to reach him, and Bellara wonders, in her own pain, if she can help Rook a little bit too. Especially if Rook is elven, teaching Rook about the braziers and the challenges is another tool she can share about her or their people, another way that might help Rook with their grief. Neve’s told her that the Wall of Light didn’t seem to help Rook much, but maybe a different funeral tradition could help them instead. Rook helps her light the braziers and Bellara feels her heart lightening, though she wonders at Rook, who seems more moved by Bellara’s reactions than anything else.

Lucanis is nearly as allergic to dealing with feelings as Davrin is, but he immediately clocks how Neve and Harding are acting, and asks what happened before he joined them. They tell him about Varric and that they’re worried about Rook, that Rook seems to just be shoving those feelings down without dealing with them. Lucanis is no stranger to that, but while it’s fine for him, he doesn’t want to see someone who risked their life to save him share that struggle. He brings Rook to Caterina’s funeral planning to show Rook it’s okay to admit the loss and honor it. When that doesn’t seem to make a dent, he falls back to his standard - lavish meals, small gifts, coffee. He knows it would help him. He just wishes it helped Rook too.

Lace hurts the worst after losing Varric and Lace is where Solas’ magic comes the closest to faltering. Rook can see Lace is down, she’s quiet, she’s afraid after what happens with the gods escaping; but Solas’ magic holds and Rook can still never see quite why. Lace would love to sit over drinks one night and share stories about Varric, but she sees that Rook doesn’t seem ready, and she doesn’t want to push. Instead she writes letters to Ma, to the Inquisitor, to Cassandra, to Aveline, maybe even to Hawke. She writes out her stories with Varric’s old quill and she carries a bolt of Bianca with her. A dozen times she goes to talk to Rook about him, and when she tries Rook turns away or changes the subject. It hurts, but Lace knows she can’t make Rook talk about him, and she hopes in time it will get better.

This just absolutely crushes me the more I think about it 😭

Edit: Varric’s death is Rook’s personal companion quest every other single companion tries to help them with, and can’t 😭😭😭

[ouellette]

i hate snapchat memories STAWP showing me photos of myself from 3+ years ago i can and i will have a mental break

[sassyandclassy94]

When you’re blamed for something you didn’t even send

[summertime--butterflies]

I haven’t touched this blog in years and I don’t think I am emotionally prepared to skim through my 1d tags of memories

[rosemaryfemme]

i see it with the adult perspective of yeah okay that my feelings on this are based on a parasocial relationship but also it’s just like. this thing brought me joy and frankly still does and at one point the public persona of this individual did. even seeing tweets of his tonight while i’m deep diving made me cackle

[angelicwhimsy]

forever reminiscing and grieving the girl i could’ve been 🪽

[aria0fgold]

Been thinking bout caiowe and ngl no matter how I try to spin and shake them I don't think they fit at all with the vibes of Sirius' Heart so alas! My reign of angst terror has been put to a halt and ended with jokid.

[thegreatyin]

What, precisely, is fallen London, and how can I play it? Ive been told it's a browser game, will it work on my phones browser or only my computer's?

SWEEPS EVERYTHING OFF MY DESK. SLAMS MY HANDS ON THE COUNTER. you're in luck because advertising this game is apparently my specialty.

fallen london is a free browser game that works on anything with an internet connection!! laptops, phones, tablets, the decade old 3ds you have stashed in the back of your closet- if you can open a web browser, you can run fallen london. the UI obviously differs between desktop and mobile, and desktop has the benefit of extensions that can make your life marginally easier, but that's all a strictly optional affair.

as for the game's actual contents; fallen london is a text-based horror game closely reminiscent of classic "choose your own adventure" books. you play as a new arrival to an alternate history version of victorian london that now flourishes in a deep, dark, marvelous (and more than slightly eldritch!) cavern known as "the neath", with the goal of making your name and ultimately pursuing one of the four possible ambitions that brought you here to begin with. along the way you encounter a wide variety of strange and inexplicable things, including but not limited to;

men with the faces of squid (who are not truly men)

actual real soul-stealing devils (who originate from Actual Real Hell, which is also london's next door neighbor)

snakes that are eternally bound to the realm beyond mirrors (who have an infamous feud with sapient talking cats)

treacheries of time, law, and all that which the gods hold dear (including the ability to bypass death itself)

sirens who are convinced they're dead (in a place where, as stated, death is easily bypassed)

sentient landmasses that get REALLY annoyed if you don't pay your taxes on time (and are also single and ready to mingle)

fabric that is not fabric (which is held in quite high value by certain giant bat monsters)

spiders that eat eyeballs (but are, fortunately, easily distracted by shakespeare)

genres of colors you didn't think possible (in seven fantastical flavors!)

batkissing (not canonically, but in our hearts)

batfucking (this is, somehow, marginally more canon than the above thing)

batmarriage (no.)

batdivorce (in comically large spades)

The Hat Man (who's in love with and yearns to become like a sentient island)

gay people (a lot of them)

trans people (also a lot of them)

doomed love, in all possible forms (as well as those who try and collect it)

this thing (this thing)

and last- but certainly not least-

a pitiful hope that perhaps, just perhaps, all shall one day be well. (even when you know it won't be.)

it's a game with lore as deep as the ocean, and a staggering wordcount (4.5 million!) to boot. it's not perfect, but it's something i've grown to love deeply, and in my experience? if it doesn't click for you, that's understandable. but if it clicks for you, it really does click for you. i recommend it to anyone and everyone who so much as looks its way. who knows! it may just surprise you 🦇☀️🦀🌃

as a further incentive, here are some out-of-context items and excerpts:

as stated, you can play it right now for free at fallen london dot com. there is a subscription and a small bounty of microtransactions on offer if you want to support the development team, but at no point is this ever required, and you will be playing for years before you reach the end of stuff to accomplish. all major content updates are free and available to all players, and FOMO to this day remains virtually non-existent. as once again stated, the browser specs are non-existent. if you can run google, you can run fallen london.

so head on down!! give the neath a try!! follow admiralty orders and dump a bunch of bombs directly into the zee (underground sea) whilst accidentally waking up a giant grieving sea urchin that screams fire and violently pursues your demise!! (that's what we're all doing right now, anyway.)

if the browser game isn't for you, there's also other outlets with which to explore the universe. you can find the spinoff games Sunless Seas, Sunless Skies, and Mask of The Rose available to purchase right now on steam, and there's recently been a very successful kickstarter to adapt the game into a TTRPG. it looks very cool so far. im very very very excited for it :)

in lieu of having to come up with a conclusion for this ask, im instead going to direct you to the MoTR stupendium song (which you'll find linked below). it says far more and advertises far better than i could ever dream of. also, it's a straight bop, and "all ends/swords pens" has lived rent-free in my brain for months.

welcome to the neath, delicious friend. we hope you enjoy your stay ❤️

[simp4fictionalmenandjesus]

Imagine platonic yandere batfamily with a 'shallow' reader.

To set the scene, you join the family at 15. You’re old enough to have the capability to take care of yourself, but you’re young enough to want someone to take care of you. (I’m thinking she has a wealthy-ish background, not socialite level, but she’s be the richest kid at Gotham high school (public school).) You’re the result of one of Brucie Wayne’s many love affairs that somehow slipped under the radar.

your mother was a more of a logical person, raising you to follow your brain more instead of your heart. But she still taught you to be empathetic. Unfortunately, she dies in a car accident.

Your picked up by the Wayne’s and there’s immediately hostility between you and your new family. On the background check the bats had done, most evidence was pointing to you being a shallow teenage girl.

It didn’t help that the first thing you did upon arriving to the manor was force everyone into a selfie on Snapchat. Damian had to be held back from stabbing you.

The next thing you did was ask about your allowance, and then proceed to squeal once you were handed a black card by Bruce.

Once you excitedly left to your new room, Dick reminded everyone that people grieve in their own ways.

Family dinner was painfully awkward that night. There was no way that the Wayne’s would talk to you about any bat related activities, and when Bruce tried to ask you about your hobbies, you went on a 30 minute rant about designer products.

It was like having one of Bruce’s suitors constantly around.

Everything about you was shrill, high-pitched, loud and out of touch.

It’s your lack of grief thay really gets them. At your mother’s funeral, you didn’t even shed a tear. Your speech was cantered around how your mother had accomplished a lot, but it came off more as an employee describing a boss than a daughter reminiscing over her mother. When Bruce had softly asked you if you wanted your mother buried or cremated you shrugged your shoulders. “Do whatever, I don’t care.”

Now, your family is convinced that you’re a sociopathic stereotypical mean girl.

You can’t really blame them for thinking that as how would they know about the silent tears you shed every night. Keeping a front up was taking its toll on you, and even your usual coping habit of shopping wasn’t helping you feel better as with every item you add to cart you stop yourself from finding your mother to ask for her opinion on it.

After you fall asleep in tears, you’ll wake up and force yourself to forget.

———————

(Also reader’s speech at her mother’s funeral isn’t that heartfelt because she doesn’t want to share her personal memories with a room of people who she barely knows. Those are her memories. And the idc reply to whether the body is cremated or buried is genuine, to her the body isn’t her mother anymore so whatever happens to it doesn’t matter. She’s more concerned about keeping her mother’s belongings in good shape.)

———————-

A couple of years pass and you’re graduating high school. Your grades are average and you apply for a fashion degree in Metropolis University. You’re not ashamed to admit that the power of nepotism definitely helped you in.

You look in the crowd for any sign of your family, and wave happily at Alfred. Do you care that no one else showed up? Not really. You didn’t need to be love. You loved yourself to make up for any of the love you lacked.

Sure, in your first year at Wayne Manor you were upset at the fact that you were never invited to things unless they were public events. But you couldn’t really complain about it, because when you did throw a tantrum and got your way, Bruce invited you to movie night which was painfully awkward as you sat on a lone arm chair while everyone else snuggled together. And the whole night you for side eyed by everyone.

The next family movie night you were invited to, everyone cancelled.

You suppose that the Wayne's and you were too different to get along.

After attending a week long spree of parties, going on a grad trip with your friend group to Ibiza, you came home to a practically empty mansion. Alfred was the only one there.

You appreciated the butler, he was the closest thing you had to a father. He hugged you tightly, before he dropped you off at the airport to fly to metropolis.

-------------------------------------

A year passes, you show up to the Wayne Manor at Alfred's request. Everyone is there.

And everyone is really nice.

Huh.

---------

Yea im turning this idea into a proper fic but I'll probably make shallow reader way cyuntier.

[moo-chemia]

So the cumplane runaway au has been in my mind rent free for the past two weeks and so I churn this out so pls excuse the word vomit as I explain what happens in this au.

SQH and SQQ realizes the other is a fellow transmigrator way earlier before the immortal alliance conference (in between the skinner demon arc and the demon invasion arc) probably due to SQH unknowingly outing himself and begins bonding with each other. SQQ brings up the sun moon dew mushroom and neither were planning on getting it until after the conference like canon. That is until they begin seeing how stressed the other is about their respective jobs/narrative roles after some drunk bonding sessions and convince the other to fetch the sun moon dew mushroom tgt and plant it so that they can fake their deaths to avoid doing paperwork and their narrative roles (SQH’s idea) and maybe go monster hunting/sight seeing around the world of PIDW instead (SQQ’s idea).

So during the IAC they fake their deaths just before SQQ has to push LBH into the abyss. SY and SQH wake up 5 years later in their plant bodies and immediately go monster hunting rpg style. They work as rogue cultivators and also trade in any rare monster parts to earn further income. They camp out during the night and huddle for warmth around the fire while reminiscing about their past lives (plural). They visit an abandoned temple for a forgotten goddess only to run into the cult that worships said goddess, causing them to almost be midsommar-ed. They visit a supposedly cursed sea only to run into the sea creature ‘haunting’ it and barely escaping with their lives. They visit lost cities to find supposedly extinct beasts and go bury treasure hunting, etc etc. Cumplane basically tour PIDW and have their best life (mostly) free of stress.

Meanwhile, if we rewind back to the IAC just after SY and SQH faked their deaths, SQH’s body is obvs now soulless and dead but the system forces SJ’s soul back into his og body and LBH still gets pushed into the abyss anyways opps. In the aftermath, SJ explains what happened with SY!SQQ and how basically SY and SQH are transmigrators and their whole situation from what SJ understands. SJ was a ghost all this time after the system forced his soul outta his body and he was lowkey haunting SY but SJ wasn’t always conscious, he probs only saw what was happening with SY!SQQ half of the time bc of the system. Cue Cang Qiong trying to track down one temporary SQQ and their logistics peak lord bc CQM is kinda burning down without him (and also to make sure both are ok)

Meanwhile, LBH speeds through the abyss and plans on taking over Huan Hua like canon and through some protagonist IQ bullshit that I’ve yet to come up with (probably through a grieving MBJ who's kinda been going crazy in the northern desert?) he realizes that SQQ is SJ but not his shizun, and he learns that CQM knows both SY and SQH are still alive and are trying to find them. LBH abandons his plot on taking over Huan Hua to team up with MBJ to find their two not so dead peak lords. 

Cue CQM vs the demon lords racing one another to find cumplane first for 6-7 years. 

Now back to cumplane. The two are enjoying their adventures together for a year or two after waking up in their plant bodies when they run into LBH and MBJ arguing with LQG in a village they’re travelling through. Cumplane realizes both the demon lords and CQM are trying to find them for some reason and panics when they overheard that SQQ is somehow still alive even though SY is right there and panics harder when they realize OG SQQ is back. Cumplane runs for their lives thinking they're fugitives now because their previous sect and the two demon lords are there to kill them/arrest them for impersonating a peak lord.

This is all I got for this au so far lol, this is still a wip so some things might change

[iteratorsex]

Rain World is a game about appreciating the little things as they come and go. The connections you make with the scavengers, that one time a vulture ate a predator that would've killed you, the lizard you had to leave behind in another region

It's about the little kindnesses creatures who are otherwise only thinking of themselves give to one another

When Five Pebbles gives you the mark and the k10, you can literally just spend as much time as you want having fun, finding pearls, looking at creatures, and just exploring the world before you can go to the Void Sea

There's a reason why the Shaded pearl's qualia was shit like "eating a tasty meal" and "watching dust on the windowsill", because it's the small things

And yet, you still have to learn to let go

The echoes are stuck here not because they appreciated the world, but because they cannot leave it behind

The Chimney Canopy echo cannot let go of how much the world has changed. The Shaded Citadel echo cannot let go of their precious memories and what it was like to live in a "flesh prison"

The world is constantly shifting and changing and you have to be able to accept that change and be effortless like the jellyfish, instead of tangling yourself up in your own mind

The world is vast and scary, and its easy to want to stay in the comfort of your own memories, thinking about how good it USED to be. Trying to find what is long gone

Survivor was separated as a pup, and even as a grown slugcat continues to reminisce and grieve up until they meet FP, and instead set on ascending and accepting that they will never find their family, and that's ok