#reminded me of 2012 rust

[moonlight-scorpions]

[r11nareborn]

please recommend me songs that remind u of Rustin!!

2012 rust song recs are very welcomed!!

[madsmilfelsen]

RUST ANON I READ BOTH OF THEM AND THEY WERE BOTH AMAZING 😭😭😭 PLS I BEG FOR MLRE CRUMBS OR ANYRHING RUST RELAted oR WRITTEN BY YIU

You know it’s funny because Chevy has me daydreaming about them at the grocery store so that will have to be written, I really need them to argue about fresh vs canned fruit and Rust to teach Sugar how to make sweet tea :(

I have some incomplete stuff that I started and thought 1. Lazy writing warm up that does nothing (Maggie going to Doumain’s) 2. this would never fucking happen (circa early 2012) and 3. This is entirely too horny to put in a chapter with already exceedingly long smut (post stabbing recovery) lmao so here they are

Sugar lost a coin flip and is on her knees under the bar for the afternoon. Rust does the bookkeeping for the next inventory order and Bob drinks himself face down onto the bar, the lucky bastard.

“Don’t forget to clear the lines,” Rust reminds her, too cheerfully, and disappears into the back room before she can tell him to go fuck himself. Sugar keeps scrubbing the fridge out, not stopping when she hears the front door open. Doumain’s can run on the honor system so she doesn’t get up to see which regular straggled in for their post-fishing refreshments.

“Excuse me? I’m looking for Rustin Cohle.”

“I don’t know anyone by that name, ma’am,” Sugar responds, voice echoing in the cool cavity she has her damn head stuck in until she can get the back corner clean.

“Oh,” she sounds disappointed, rather than irritated, which piques Sugar’s interest but not enough to look up. This woman, whoever she is, sounds polished and put together and Sugar doesn’t know why she’s in a place like this. “Well, if you see him—” Sugar stops herself from snapping at her— “will you let him know Margaret Sawy— Hart, Maggie Hart wants to talk to him?”

The bar rattles when Sugar bangs the back of her head hard enough to wake Bob. She’s holding the back of her head when she stands, meeting eyes so, so blue and wide in concern.

“Who’s the bird?” Bob asks, voice rough with sleep.

“Are you—?” Maggie asks as the same time.

Sugar can’t register either question and calls out, “Rust!”

Maggie quirks a brow that makes Sugar feel reprimanded enough to mouth a quick sorry, before patting Bob’s shoulder and tilting her head to the back room for him to follow her.

“I ain’t clearing those lines, you lost fair and—” Rust falls silent mid-step, halting in the doorway that was Sugar’s escape.

“Rust,” Maggie greets softly, “It’s good to see you.”

“Bullshit,” he replies, flat without any true menace. Sugar wants to be anywhere but here.

“I talked to Marty,” Maggie starts.

“I hear you talked to the cops, too,” Rust says, heavy with accusation, but he steps forward enough that Sugar can dart out.

“Yes, them, too,” she says. Sugar can feel Maggie looking at her when she pulls on Bob’s elbow. “How are you?”

“What’d Marty tell you?”

“Who is she?” Bob asks in the backroom, just out of sight.

“Maggie,” Sugar whispers back and his brows jump.

“He wanted to know what the police asked me about. He said he was helping you with something. That’s it. How long have you been back?”

“Hear you got a big house,” Rust says, choosing again not to answer her question, voice only slightly less hostile. “Marty says the girls are doing fine. That’s good.”

“Rust,” she says, the edge of pleading make Sugar and Bob exchange a look, “Just tell me it’s something that’s not gonna get him hurt.”

“Well, I can’t tell you that. It never sat right with me, and it doesn’t now, you asking me to lie to you about him. Now, get out of here. You’re classing the place up.” A stool scrapes the ground and the door opens and closes again but Sugar and Bob don’t move until Rust says, volume conversational, “Come on out.”

“You know how to hold a grudge, brother,” Bob comments first as he retakes his seat and Rust only grunts, watching the white SUV pull away before he grabs a bottle of whiskey and three glasses.

“I think I’m concussed,” Sugar mutters, rubbing the back of her head.

The lock jingles and Sugar looks up but doesn’t move from where she’s curled up. Rust swings his keys into his palm with a low whistle.

“What are you doing?” he asks, stopping mid step when he sees her on the couch.

“Reading.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Rust says with a shake of his head, walks over without taking off his boots to hook a finger into her necklace. When he pulls slightly Sugar sits up straighter. “Get down.”

The embarrassment is a show, unfolding her legs slowly and not looking away from him to not miss any further instruction. Sugar sits on her heels, chasten on her knees and at this level she notices for the first time her bed is a few inches shorter than his. She’s about to snip about how he should just crate her when he goes to work if he doesn’t want her on the furniture, but his hand curls around her necklace before she can open her mouth. The chain and clasp are sturdy, on purpose likely, with how easy it is for him to hold her down by it. His curled knuckles press down on the back of her neck until her cheek is on the floor and holds her there until the lesson takes root.

“Daax,” he says, not stern but firm enough for her to not move. Heat flushes her cheeks even as she relaxes further onto her forearms and she stays, just like he said. Sugar might find this degrading if it weren’t for the absence of tension as her entire self decompresses.

Rust moves some things around in the kitchen cupboards, ice hits glass, a liquid splashes. He returns without saying a word and Sugar can hear him take a drink after he sits down, his leg bends over her lowered shoulders, boot near her flat hand.

“Ts’uus.”

Sugar carefully sits back on her heels as he told her to do.

“‘Aani.”

Her first instinct is to stand but she swallows, putting her palm on the floor, one and then the other to crawl between his spread knees. She sits with her hands in her lap, poised to break at the first askance of compliance. Rust touches under her chin with a slight smile, “Gheli.”

Sugar can’t help it, she really can’t, when her hips cant forward— good.

Rust is awake and smoking already when she rolls over, her back to the room, sheets tight over the curve of her hip.

“Sugar.”

Her answer is a questioning hum.

“Can you do something for me?”

“What’s that?” she asks sleepily, rubbing her eye and twisting to look at him.

“Get on your hands and knees.”

He exhales, billowing and cloud-like, as she rises slowly, positioning herself as he requested, the sheet slips off and she’s bare. Sugar pushes her messy braid over her shoulder where it coils down her spine.

“Like this?”

“Yeah,” Rust confirms, taking his time in the next drag, “stretch your arms out, lower your chest— no, all the way, Sugar.”

Her eye, peeking over her bicep, doesn’t move from him.

“The fucking sight of you,” he mutters, “Now how can I keep you just like that?”

“What’s all this for?” Sugar asks, smile hidden behind her arm as she adjusts her hips.

“My health and safety,” he replies, deadpan, hand falling onto his stomach where the skin is still pink from having staples removed. Rust stands with a grunt, dropping his filter into an ashtray, before walking to Sugar’s bed. “Now, don’t move and just let me figure a few things out.”

Standing behind her, Rust pulls on one of her ankles and then the other until her knees are on the edge of her mattress. He yanks her hips back so her ass is where it’s supposed to be and smoothes his hands up her back, feeling her spine arch and stretch. Her body still loose with sleep in the morning sunlight. Rust covers her shoulder blades with his hands, holding them down into the mattress.

“Try pushing your hips back,” he says. She presses against his pelvis, the heat of her bleeding into his skin, and he smiles at the annoyed noise she makes against her sheets when she can’t move any further, “This might work— how much rope do we have?”

“I’m not some bitch who keeps killing her studs. I can stay still,” she promises with a laugh.

“You sound sure and all, honey, but it’s been, what, four weeks, now, and you’ve been eyeing me like you’re ready to pounce,” he states, standing straighter with his hands fitting to the curve of her waist. “Can you understand my trepidation of wrasslin’ you? I’m very fragile right now, Sugar.”

“The hell you are,” she scoffs, folding her arms and resting her cheek on her forearms while he rubs the heel of his palms into her lower back. “You moved a keg yesterday.”

“It was empty,” he argues, before he pushes her hips forward a few inches to look down between them, “have you missed me?”

“We’re together everyday.”

“That’s not what I mean—” Rust guides her hand to the wet spot on his briefs— “that’s you, honey.”

Sugar tries to hide her face but he’s already clocked the redness on her cheeks, light and splotchy between her shoulder blades.

[schoolrust]

"What On Earth Is SchoolRust?"

Glad you asked! SchoolRust is an aesthetic (titled by me) focused on places and things that are old, abandoned, or forgotten, and most of all macabre. The locations are typically those that have decayed or broken down over time, and places that have an odd sense of nostalgia to them. I also like to put an emphasis on places that have been greatly affected by industrialization, like factories, urban settings, schools, power plants, stores, etc.... wherever you might find a chainlink fence and rusted machinery, basically. Overall: the contrast of things that are soft and nostalgic vs things that are cold, worn down, and dreary. A slowly decaying childhood home with a cell tower looming over it, or a school playground covered in rust on a rainy day, are some images that come to mind; thus the name. Other aspects of the aesthetic include old toys, outdated decor/architecture, thrifty and macabre clothes, as well as things that might remind you of urban legends and late 2000s-early 2010s creepypasta culture. Both the horror and comfort of the past are very welcome here.

images from Another (2012), a stock image website, this Tokyo Teddy Bear MV, and yours truly~

A lot of this aesthetic was inspired by both my interest in online horror (both as a kid and as an adult), as well as growing up in a low income area with many abandoned or outdated buildings and odd places to explore, so it's definitely a bit of a personal and hyperspecific niche; but I hope other people like it too! Maybe we can share in our experiences, and our love of the strange, forgotten, and familiar. ♥

[bisnes-socks]

The Big Finnish Music Project for International Kääryleet, part 5.

Go to part 1 for all the context. We pick up where we left off in part 4, as the list is (more or less) in chronological order.

Martti Vainaa ja sallitut aineet

I'm linking this song not because of the artist but because of the song. It feels that these guys dropped this song and dipped. This song represents the sort of.. humour music genre, that started emerging in the 2000's and hit a peak in the 2010's. This song is called Pelimies, it's from 2005, and i remember this being played in my school disco when i was 12. It reminds me of exactly the sort of schoolboys as Mic Mac describes, and that’s why i wanted it on the list.

Sunrise Avenue

Apparently, if you're Slovenian, you know them..? Says Bojan. They were very popular in Finland, but I don't think their fame beyond Finland is fully like grasped by Finnish people. As far as i know, there are European countries where they were huge. This is their first hit, Fairytale Gone Bad, from 2006. They broke up a while ago, and the frontman Samu Haber is solo now. You might have seen him, if you watched UMK24 which he hosted.

Poets of the Fall

Rose to fame in the 2000's and had a few real hits, but as of today they actually have a massive cult following. One of the more influential rock bands in Finland. This video, Carnival of Rust, is also massively popular and quite a famous music video. This is from 2006 and i remember seeing this on tv a lot back then.

JUMPING INTO THE 2010'S

The 2010's saw the rise of rap and hiphop into the mainstream in a massive way. Not that they were ever marginal, but there was definitely a culture shift in the 2010's.

--

JVG

Possibly the most popular in the genre of rap currently, for the last 10 years or so, JVG are a rap duo who rose to fame in 2011 with the linked song, Häissä. They are also known for being hockey boys and weaving a lot of hockey and sports references into their music.

Petri Nygård

So this is what i meant about humour music rising to popularity in the 2010's. But y'all remember the 2010's right? It was a bit like that everywhere for a while, wasn't it. LMFAO, Gagnam Style, Duck Sauce etc etc. everyone was just being wacky for a few years, right? Well Petri Nygård was wacky and crass and stupid, on purpose. This is Selvä päivä from 2011.

Cheek

One of the most domestically successful artists in Finland. One of the rappers to bring American style hiphop culture to Finland, with the bling and the girls and the cars and the mannerisms and such, which all was becoming increasingly more popular in the 2010's. Cheek quit music in 2018. I chose this song, Syypää sun hymyyn from 2012, because Käärijä references the title line in Takavoltti.

Robin Packalen

I know some of you know him from the Käärijä boyfriend Pokedex, and from competing against him in UMK. But Finnish people knew Robin originally from making a song about a girl pulling a sick frontside ollie on a skateboard when he was 14 years old in 2012. The Robin phenomenon among teen girls in particular was nuclear in size. He's like the Finnish Justin Bieber.

Haloo Helsinki!

Domestically speaking a massively successful rock band, Haloo Helsinki! broke through in 2008 when the members were barely out of high school. They've been a constantly strong presence in rock ever since, even though they took a bit of a break a few years ago. They have their own recongnisable style and are just generally well loved in Finland. This song is one of their biggest hits Beibi, from 2014.

End of part 5. The next part takes us from 2015 to 2024, and then there is one extra bonus part for some deeply Finnish musical moments...

[foxes-that-run]

August

In the Long Pond Session, Taylor said to her James and Betty wind up together, but August is sensitive and really cares for James. Taylor drew on her personal experience to comment on the tendency to blame the 'other woman'. Similar to combining Better than Revenge and Slut! in the Era's show, Taylor shows a perspective growth.

While in Cardigan and Betty relate Betty to Taylor and James to Harry. August is a composite character:

To me, the title August is in part inspired by Connor Kennedy, who Taylor had a summer fling with July - mid-August before getting back together with Harry by September.

Summer Love by One Direction has a similar meaning. It's one of only 2 songs on the standard album the boys are credited on. Take Me Home was recorded in the period Harry and Taylor were apart May - August 2012.

Harry later wrote 'I love you' performed by Alex and Sierra in 2014 which is also referenced.

I also see similarities between Augustine and Kendall Jenner.

August is not co-written with William Bowery, but Joe Alwyn has a production credit.

Lyrics

Salt air, and the rust on your door I never needed anything more Whispers of "Are you sure?" "Never have I ever before"

I love this verse. It sets the scene in Hyannis Port where Taylor briefly owned a home and spent time with Harry and Connor.

The innocence of the end of this verse warms my heart because after dating men nearing their 30's, Taylor dated teenagers.

But I can see us lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August sipped away like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine

In 1D's Summer Love, the fling also ends in August "'Cause you were mine for the summer / Now we know it's nearly over / Feels like snow in September"

However Taylor also relates Harry not being hers in Say don't go: "And I'm yours, but you're not mine"

Your back beneath the sun Wishin' I could write my name on it Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinkin' I had you

In I love you Harry wrote “You ran your finger down my back and you spelled out your name / While we lay there on the soft warm ground / For a week and 13 days” in ILY TS/Betty writes her name on HS/James back, but August doesn’t

Taylor has a lot of school/high school analogies in Haylor songs, to me “back at school” is a stand in for HS returning to the 1D tour/promo schedule

Summer Love also refers to “But I always will remember / You were my summer love”

Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose You weren't mine to lose, no

August cares for James, but they aren’t meant to be.

Still Changing for the better is such a sad lyric, to me it sounds like TS didn’t feel that way when she wrote it

The line “meet me behind the mall” reminds me of Coney Island’s “we were like the mall before the internet” where TS and HS are the mall, but August and James are meeting behind it.

Cowboy like me, also has waiting for a call “Now I'm waiting by the phone / Like I'm sitting in an airport bar”

She also said 'meet me behind the mall' was a lyric she had a lot time that inspired the song.

[dakaxeen]

Finding My Song at the Anchorage Museum

By

 Jean Bundy

 -

October 1, 2012

It was approaching the third week of heavy winds and rain outside the Anchorage Museum as I strolled through their canary yellow lobby on my way to “Finding My Song.” Artist Da-ka-xeen Mehner has combined his Native and European heritages to produce a show packed with color, texture and fun along with a poignant message. It’s clear Mehner understands Tlingit craft and twenty-first century Eurocentric Conceptualism.

Raised in Alaska’s Tlingit and Caucasian cultures, each of which has been dominant at times and thus left their anthropological marks, both good and bad, Mehner now teaches Native Arts at the University of Alaska Fairbanks. He holds degrees from the University of New Mexico, The Institute of American Indian Arts as well as the University of Alaska.

The show is divided into three sections but the museum-goer will find all parts connect as the exhibition is about preserving a Tlingit culture that finds itself cohabiting in the white man’s world.  However, the viewer will find no remorse in this show.  Through his art, Mehner reminds his audience to think about the past while enjoying contemporary Native creativity as he freely mixes in Eurocentric genres, offering up old narratives freshly retold.Double Pointed Daggers and Soap Bar. Photo by Jean Bundy.

In the first section, I found myself encircled by double-pointed daggers, evoking those originally made for warfare. Mehner’s extra-large daggers, made from rusted metal, appeared to sink, shrink and rise again as my eyes circulated and landed on every dagger point.  Mehner told me simple household words like “thank you” are painted faintly on the shafts. Upon further examination, I found a few, sometimes the only Tlingit words a family today might have picked up.

Twenty-first century art-speak invites viewers to put forth their own thoughts about a piece, often ignoring the creator’s ideas.  I thought of Stonehenge and envisioned being surrounded by evil-doers.  Then again, maybe the figures, whoop daggers, were playing some sort of vertical hide and seek.   Using one culture to reach out and save another might be one of the themes of this show.

The three sections are separated by two partitions shaped like the front of a clan house, now giant video screens. One screen has a large still image of Mehner with a bar of laundry soap shoved into his mouth. Here, Mehner’s self-portrait is much like those of artist Catharine Opie, with her in-your-face oversized photography that exposes every flaw of a person’s anatomy.  Mehner references the horrible experience his grandmother remembered. Native children were punished  when speaking their native tongue in missionary schools that insisted English be spoken or else.

When I spoke on the phone to Mehner, he said this soap bar image is one of the most talked about themes and graciously welcomed viewers who told their own stories about the Fels Naphtha product. As a child I would spend summers at my grandparent’s home on Martha’s Vineyard, routinely playing in poison ivy. I could still smell that yellow ochre bar being rubbed on my skin to diminish itching.

The second screen holds a looping video showing contemporary Native dancing against traditional Tlingit red and black patterning. The hazy video of reds, blacks and yellows looked as if it was engulfed by flames.  Perhaps this blurred image   shows how older generations are being replaced just as old Tlingit traditions are being updated for contemporary celebrations. Between the clan house screens on the gallery floor is another looping video of a drum being played.  A drum stick occasionally appears and recedes but makes no sound. Clan House with Dancers. Photo by Jean Bundy.

Like a Carl Andre checkerboard, found on most contemporary museum floors, the viewer is presented with a choice, to walk on the image or obey Eurocentric bureaucracy and walk around the piece. Again the museum-goer may superimpose emotions or absorb Mehner’s possible theme about a silent drum as a trope for lost Tlingit culture. Visitors can attempt to stomp out the drum-video or culture but are not in control of its on/off switch.  The head of the drum remains throughout in sharp focus with its red and black mythical imagery–proof of cultural survival.

The third and perhaps most daunting section is a wall piece with eighteen skin drums in alternating rows of threes and twos. Three dimensional self-portraits of Mehner emerge from the drum heads that light up and dim in concert with the artist’s voice performing a chant that permeates all three sections.  Mehner says the song is about the Killer Whale Clan migrating to Chilkat or Sitka after finding themselves either over or under a glacier. Multiple Mehner heads emerging from drums makes him appear almost mystical. This shaman-esque Mehner contrasts with the somewhat commercial Catharine Opie-esque Mehner: two ways cultures have approached portraiture, both used by the artist to get out the Tlingit message.Mehner Emerging from Drum Head. Photo by Jean Bundy.

Mehner’s splicing of his cultures might  be obvious to anyone who has taken  an  art history class where students learn how to dialogue with the artist who left his trace on the art piece. Themes about who is the “self” versus who is the “other” when confronting a work and its message are intriguing to art aficionados but most likely remain invisible to those passing through a gallery on their way to the café or gift shop.  I watched as late summer tourists wandered through the exhibition, bewilderment on their faces. I attempted to engage an Australian family about similarities in indigenous cultures while their two teens whined.

Mehner’s cultural dual citizenship keeps the viewer guessing who is the real “self” and “other,” much like moving pieces on a game board. “Finding My Song” had no brochures to take away for later contemplation and the wall placard offered   minimal explanations, not even the tale of the Killer Whale Clan. One of the highlights of the museum’s Chipperfield wing is the Smithsonian research center where antique masks and mukluks mix with monitors showing contemporary Native lifestyles.

Although the Smithsonian exhibits are arranged in a Eurocentric way similar to many natural history museums, it would have been interesting to suggest to visitors strolling through Mehner’s show that they might visit the museum’s permanent Native collections and compare different ways of respectfully keeping cultures alive. Imagine the conversations and dialogues that could ensue as visitors rolled their luggage through the security at the airport.

Finding My Song by Da-Ka-xeen Mehner is on view at the Anchorage Museum Sept 7 – Nov 11, 2012

[sinceileftyoublog]

METZ, Spiritual Cramp, & Stuck Live Show Review: 12/16, Metro, Chicago

BY JORDAN MAINZER

METZ’ self-titled debut album came at a time when guitars re-entered indie rock in full-force. 2012 saw breakout albums from bands like Cloud Nothings, The Men, and Parquet Courts, a paradigm shift from the baroque pop of the 2000s towards something like it was during the heyday of the 90s. But similar to Attack on Memory, METZ was bleak, what seemed at the time like a pummeling expression of desolation after the 2008 financial crisis, akin to the waning optimism from the early Obama years. Ten years and three METZ albums later, the world has gotten worse, and the Toronto-via-Ottawa punk band has retained its hard edge. What better time to celebrate their first and arguably still their finest statement?

At the Metro on Friday, like every other night of their tour, METZ played their first album front to back. As the band walked onto the stage, drummer Hayden Menzies played the abrasive opening notes of “Headache” with the lights still off, remaining dim as guitarist and vocalist Alex Edkins’ siren-like lines began. Only when bassist Chris Slorach entered the fray did we see the band, and they were off to the races, burning through “Get Off”, “Sad Pricks”, and “Rats” at a breakneck pace. From the off-kilter instrumental of “Nausea” to the build of “Wet Blanket” and noisy, dynamic breakdown of “Wasted”, the band showed themselves to be, to quote one of their 2012 contemporaries, masters of their craft.

Including the encore, METZ had time for 5 additional songs, including two from their most recent album Atlas Vending (Sub Pop): “Blind Youth Industrial Park” and the swirling, epic closer “A Boat to Drown In”. II’s “Spit You Out”, a live highlight since it came out, was especially disorienting in its chaos in conjunction with the light show. And, to my pleasant surprise, the band did the motorik “Demolition Row”, released earlier this year as part of a split 7′’ with Adulkt Life. The show served as a reminder that METZ are capable of effectively delving into different subgenres but are still at their best when bashing you over the head with noise.

Opening for METZ were two more punk bands, albeit with different aesthetics. San Francisco’s Spiritual Cramp combined screamy, political post-punk with self-aware, self-deprecating, self-hating dance jams on tracks like “I Feel Bad Bein’ Me” and “The Erasure”. Vocalist Michael Bingham was filled with banter contrasting the bitter cold lack of pretension in Chicago with California’s sadsack sunniness. “You can’t tell if I’m being sarcastic,” he said to the crowd, following up with, “I can’t tell if I’m being sarcastic.” The vagueness of tone is certainly a feature of the band, the type to artfully sample vocals at the same time as featuring a barely-audible-but-theatrically-played tambourine on stage. When Bingham declared, “Fuck the cops, fuck the president, and fuck you, too,” you could sense a sneering sincerity, one that made the band ironically even more likeable.

And taking a victory lap were local heroes Stuck, a year removed from their most recent EP Content That Makes You Feel Good (Exploding In Sound), two years from their debut album Change Is Bad (born yesterday). As such, they played four (!) new, unreleased songs, including jagged set opener “Punisher” and the disco beat-laden “Freak Frequency”. Live, lead vocalist Greg Obis’ yelped personal and sociopolitical litanies echo the urgency of someone like Squid’s Ollie Judge, backed by the band’s gnarly rhythms and burning tempo changes. The jangling tremolo and rusted edges of a song like “Invisible Wall” encapsulated what the band does best: reel you in, but not let you get too comfortable.

[ramzawrites]

Themepark - Donnie and Reader

GN

Pairings: none, but can be read as Donnie x Reader

Characters included: Donnatello

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR THE ROTTMNT MOVIE

Series: No

Summary: Y/N and Donnie go out of base to look for materials at an abandonded themepark together

Words count: 2951

Authors Note: I noticed I tend to write for the movie in the future since its so open and you can basically do whatever haha, I’m still too hesitant to do anything else but I’m slowly building up confidence to get into the TV show outside the movies or even something for the 2012 series even though I don’t have the perfect memory of that show. It’s been nice to write again though.

When Donnie asked Y/N to help gather some electronics and other pieces they didn’t think he would bring them to an old and understandably abandoned theme park. It was a small one. Nothing amazing but it did have a little rollercoaster. It was small, overgrown without any loopings but still, there it stood. An old reminder of the old world. A time where you could spare the time for some meaningless things like riding a rollercoaster.

Y/N couldn’t help but smile as they looked around at all the decrepit old buildings that used to house unfair and unwinnable games. In one booth they could still spot a few cans laying around, this had to be the place where you would have been able to play the tin can toss game. The cans were by now bent out of shape and destroyed by rust, so not useful to Donnie but Y/N couldn’t help themself as they took a few steps towards the booth. Taking a tentative look behind the counter.

Surprise, there was only weeds and a few doodads and rotting toys.

“Come on, I’m sure the old rollercoaster has some motors or other pieces I can recycle for us.” Donnie spoke, reminding them why they were here in the first place. He was standing next to them his eyes trained on the little screen on his wrist he was tapping away on. Probably looking at everything that they needed back at their base or doing some calculations or whatever he was always doing on it.

That reminded Y/N of something.

“Hey, Dee. Why bring me along in the first place? You know I don’t know anything about machinery or science or whatever you do, really.”

Not that Y/N didn’t like spending time with Donnatello, after all they have been friends for years now, but they were still sure that someone with a more technological aligned brain could probably help better.

Donnie sighed as he begun moving towards the rollercoaster, his eyes still on the little blue screen “Because of all the people in the base you are currently the least infuriating or annoying one.” He spoke so matter-of-factly it made Y/N chuckle. That was just how he was, and Y/N wouldn’t have it any other way. If anything, it made it for them easier to communicate with him since he wasn’t scared to say what he was actually thinking. Even if it meant it could hurt others. Not that most cared about at the moment seeing how in the apocalypse there were more pressing matters, like survival and Donnie is one of the most important people when it came to that.

Not only does he set up the security for everyone at the base, but he also set up a reliable communication system, constantly finds new ways to track the Krang, develops new weapons and more. Y/N was pretty sure that without him the whole resistance would crumble in no time.

“Well, I’m honored then. Just tell me what you need from me, and I’ll help you, if anything I do have muscles to carry your things.”

The purple turtle blew some air through his nostrils as a silent chuckle which made Y/N raise their eyebrow “What?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure that last training session I was the one who continuously whooped your ass. You spent more time on the mat than fighting me.”

Y/N blew up their cheek in a childish pouting expression “Well you used your Techbo and your mystic powers! That was cheating! I’m just a normal mortal! I’m not some crazy ninja dude like you and your brothers! Literally before this whole mess of a world I was out here just writing music, that I can fight off anything is a crazy thing for me!”

“Hey, I know! You are still alive so that must mean something right? Just think it’s funny you make yourself out to be a meathead when you are actually quite smart yourself.” Donnie was now kneeling at a console next to the rollercoaster. A few carts were still standing on the track. The paint was slowly peeling off and it looked like someone let their anger out on it with a blunt object. Probably exactly what happened. It’s not like anyone will need it and this world did kind of suck, so nothing Y/N could fault this random person in the past. If indeed this was what happened.

Besides Y/N was too busy being a bit surprised at Donnie’s genuine compliment. He called them smart? Well, that was just wrong, wasn’t it? Compared to him they weren’t better than a kindergartener. Which they told him so with a roll of their eyes as they leaned against one of the carts. Watching Donnie pull out rusted cables and gears out of the console.

He just kept on staring at what his actual goal was inside the console as he got out a screwdriver from his battleshell “Mhm, you might not know the same things as I do, I mean who does, really? But you have other places of expertise. You are probably the only one here who can calm anyone down in a panic attack no matter what. I don’t do this whole emotion thing well, but I can recognize the value in having someone around who does.”

It was difficult to argue with Donnie when he stated these things in such a matter-of-factly way.

“Mikey is better than me at it. I swear to god he can make people smile by just being in the same room.”

“But we are not talking about him, besides Mister Mystic Warrior is busy with all kinds of missions that he can’t be there for everyone at all times. Having you around eases a lot of peoples worries. They know they can come to you when they need a shoulder to cry on or in my case talk through logic problems.”

Y/N laughed “All I do is listen really, it’s not like I could help you with amazing insights.”

This time Donnie looked up at Y/N staring right into their eyes “But that is enough. Sometimes that’s all you need.” His head turned back around, still fiddling inside the machine.

“Huh.” Was all Y/N could say to that.

They absentmindedly scratched the back of their neck, looking away along the tracks of the rollercoaster, noticing the heat that begun spreading across their cheeks at Donnie’s genuine compliments. It’s not like it’s the first time both of them had a deep conversation like this but this kind of came out of nowhere and they just really just did not expect it.

Frankly it wasn’t something they thought much about.

A cough from Donnie brough them back down to earth, noticing that the crouched turtle was holding out a piece from the machine. Without missing a beat Y/N slung the backpack back down from their back and took the piece and softly laid it inside.

From that on there was a comfortable silence between the two friends. Donnie kept on working and disassembling the console while Y/N watched him, making sure to keep watch for any Krang so Donnie could work in peace. Occasionally grabbing whatever Donnie was holding out to them to deposit it inside the backpack.

This went on for a couple minutes. Almost felt like half an hour before Donnie decided to break the silence. He was still busy with the console, but he had a bit of a sheepish expression on as he asked “So, uh, you wrote songs? Didn’t know that about you.”

Y/N couldn’t help but smile at him doing small talk “Eh, before all this happened. Went to university for music theory and all. Not that it does me any good here. Haven’t touched an instrument in years now.”

Silence again.

It’s been a while that Y/N really thought back on their old life. They had such high hopes back then. Not entirely sure what they would have done with their life. Maybe taught other people instruments, tried writing and recording songs in a more official manner, maybe made or joined a band? Who knows. God, they used to be so optimistic about life, huh?

“What kind of instruments were you able to play?” Once again it was Donnie who broke the silence.

He never felt the need to fill the silence with idle small talk so something about this must have really made him curious to ask. Y/N’s smile still on their face but now it was mixed with a curious gaze towards their friend, wondering what exactly went through his head.

“Guitar, bass, piano, recorder, violin and a uni friend was beginning to teach me how to play the drums.”

Donnie chuckled “Kind of surprised you’d mention the recorder in all this.”

“It was the very first instrument I learned! It started my long road of music appreciation!”

“You are really a one-man band though. That’s a lot of instruments.”

Y/N shrugged “Well I started from childhood on to learn a ton of different instruments. Kind of accumulated over time, I guess. That said it’s been years so I’m probably rusty and bad as hell.”

With a silent grunt Donnie got back up from the ground. He got out a rag from his battleshell and some disinfectant to clean his hands. Y/N would have asked once again why they were here in the first place when he basically had pandoras box on his back, but they enjoyed the time together right now too much to question the validity of it all.

He leaned against the same cart as Y/N, taking the backpack from their hands to take a look inside and then typing on his wrist screen. Probably writing down all the little things he found to better keep stock of it. Donnie then handed the backpack back to Y/N, who in return expected him to move on to take a look at whatever else he could find here but he didn’t move. Instead, he just crossed his arms in front of his plastron. Staring ahead. His eyes darting around here and there, probably just keeping watch. It was something everyone was doing automatically at this point.

“I’m guessing you didn’t need these pieces as desperately as I first thought, and you just wanted to get out of the base.” Y/N stated suddenly.

Donnie just nodded “I mean, of course there are always pieces I desperately need and all but most of them are deep in Krang territory and this was a low-profile place so might as well and honestly as much as I love being in my lab I just needed to get outside for a moment. Would have gone alone but Leon would have chewed me out for this, so I took you along because you seem to be okay with just sitting around in silence. It doesn’t feel as awkward, I guess.”

“Aww, look at Dee, showing emotions.” Y/N laughed, they would have pulled on his cheeks as well to really annoy him, but they knew he didn’t like unprompted touch, so they refrained from doing so, satisfied to just verbally tease him.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. You needed this too, I know you well enough now to see when you are stuck in your own head. You were beginning to bury yourself in work again and we both met way too often in the kitchen to get more coffee. You are not sleeping much and as the resident insomniac I of course took notice.” He sputtered out.

Yeah, he was a good friend. He says he is not good with emotions, but this was really considerate and just nice of him. A sense of pride begun swelling inside Y/N’s chest as they realized what was happening. Maybe it was just the feeling of knowing there are people out there who cared for them and took notice when things got too much. As much as this whole situation of the world sucked, they still had people like Donnie around who made it easier.

“Hey, Dee, you wanna take a look at the booths and see if maybe some toys survived the years? Maybe we can find like a Jupiter Jim keychain or something.”

At the mention of Jupiter Jim Donnie’s eyes lit up. He may be an adult turtle mutant who fought to survive every day, but you can’t seem to take the Jupiter Jim fanboy out of him no matter what.

As Donnie got up from leaning against the cart, Y/N stopped him “Wait! Actually! Let’s make it a game. Let’s go treasure diving and compare what we find in a half an hour.”

Donnie narrowed his eyes, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Y/N didn’t need to know what exactly went through his head to know it wasn’t good “Ah! No fancy tech! Just your eyes and hands!”

They seemed to have hit the nail on the head since Donnie immediately groaned in annoyance and let his head hang in defeat “You all never let me go all out. Scoff!” He was so dramatic sometimes, which always made Y/N chuckle in return.

“Hey, I don’t have fancy shmancy tech or magic, it would be unfair!”

“Sounds like a you problem.”

“Donnatello.”

“Yeah, yeah got it. I’ll play fair.”

The half an hour passed way too fast. Both Y/N and Donnie ran around the abandoned theme park as if their butts were on fire. Trying to find anything useful or interesting to show off. Both had to remind themselves multiple times to be a bit more quieter as they physically began breaking apart the booths and boxes to find something of note.

They met at what used to be a café, a few tables were still standing which was perfect to show off each other’s loot. For half an hour it really wasn’t as much as Y/N had hoped but what can you do, these things were exposed to the elements for more than ten years.

Y/N found a few plastic keychains, still packaged balloons that would probably not work even if they were in a plastic package but still, a cowboy hat and their true treasure, a Jupiter Jim themed plush. It was a dog from one of the Jupiter Jim’s last journey to the moon movies. It was dirty as hell, but it did not have any tears anywhere and didn’t smell too bad. So, Y/N counted this as a win.

But when Donnie showed off his loot, Y/N was convinced he cheated. There were kazoos, a plastic watch which was one hundred percent broken but still looked fine, a Jupiter Jim themed Yo-Yo, a Jupiter Jim helmet, and a Jupiter Jim plush.

“No way in hell did you just find this like this. You cheated somehow, didn’t you?!”

But Donnie just cackled “I would not go back on my word like that! Nay, I say! I was just smart enough trying to look for the place they probably stored all their extra things in and judging by your reaction you too think that my haul was better than yours! So, I won!”

“Unbelievable.”

“Not everyone can have an intellect like me, Y/N. Do not be disheartened.”

Y/N ignored this comment as per usual, instead busy stuffing their haul inside their bag only for Donnie to approach and throw his own in as well. Might as well take these things with them. Might make someone at the base happy. Well, the Jupiter Jim things will probably end up in Donnie’s lab or quarters.

“I just noticed we never decided what the winner would get.” Donnie suddenly noted.

“What, boasting about your win isn’t enough?” Y/N rolled their eyes.

He just nodded “Of course. A winner should get something.”

Y/N just sighed “No idea what I could give you. It’s not like there is much to give. If this place were up and running though I’d offer to buy you a round on the rollercoaster.” They said the last part more quieter. Anything that mentioned how life used to be was difficult to say out loud.

Donnie tapped his own mouth as he begun thinking “I have an idea. I want you, if you still remember, to show me some of your songs you have written.”

This made Y/N choke on air, not expecting this in the least “What? I don’t… I never… I usually … I mean I used to play them on my guitar which I don’t have and haven’t done in years I don’t… Donnie it’s been over a decade.”

“Don’t you think the genius Donnatello can‘t get you a guitar? Besides you made me really curious now, so please? As a fellow lover of music, I haven’t taken the time to really talk or listen to music with anyone else.”

Y/N raised one of their eyebrows “You like music too? You never mentioned it.”

Donnie shrugged “You never asked. But yeah, I’ve got quite the moves, when the music comes on I gotta dance. Dancing is one of my few passions in life. So, come on!”

“Alright, alright. But just you. I also need time to warm up again. I have to see what I remember or if I have anything saved on my phone. But I’m just going to show it to you, because you won this stupid game, got it?”

He pumped the air in victory “Yes, for I am the victor! Also don’t call the game stupid if you are the one who came up with it.”

“Yeah, whatever, brainiac. Let’s go back to base before Leo sends someone to find us.”

“I’m so excited now!”

“God it’s so embarrassing though!”

“Exactly!”

“You are so mean, dude!”

[kavaeric]

Hello everyone. You're probably aware of the debacle going down on Twitter right now, and so you can probably guess why I'm here. I have some posts of my old art backlog that will go into the queue, just so this place won't be so empty. For those who are new: hi! Check my bio for more info on me.

I don't plan on "leaving" my Twitter until I'm legitimately forced off of the platform, or when I think putting the effort into maintaining it is too much of a burden. That said, I'm preparing for contingencies like anyone else, so I'm using it as an excuse to dust this off.

💬Why Tumblr?

It's been a while since I've been back on Tumblr. I think the last time I actually touched this place was maybe 2019, but the last time I really used this place was maybe back in 2015 or 2016 or so.

This was the first social media site I used growing up, I probably joined back in 2012 or 2013. I had a pretty sizeable audience then already—if you remember the "Abandoned Tumblr" photobashes, the Photoshop works of deteriorating, cracked, rusted Tumblr dashboards, that was my work. More importantly though this was the place where I connected with an art and furry community for the first time properly.

Most of us left to Twitter during the NSFW ban, but it seems now with the man in charge of Twitter attempting to beat Liz Truss' speedrun of destroying the livelihoods of millions, Tumblr has also loosened up restrictions and has become more appealing for artists (including predominantly SFW artists like myself). Well, whatever, it's the next best thing for having an audience.

I did miss a little bit of the theme customisation and the ability to really post a more varied selection of content along with customising its display (e.g., photoset grids), although it has that bit of a bittersweet air to it. It reminds me of how, back in 2017, not long after I stopped really using Tumblr, I dropped out of university in the United Kingdom and had to return back to my hometown.

How ironic.

[tillidontneedfantasy]

A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 10th Studio Album: ‘Midnights’

You would expect by the time a pop star has spent over 15 years in the spotlight that they would run out of steam. But on her 10th studio album, Midnights, Taylor Swift is as energized as ever. Even more impressive, the debut numbers are the biggest of her career yet, landing on a whopping 1.578 million, 1.1 million of those in pure album sales alone. These first week numbers are even larger than that of 1989, which is a huge feat.

Many pieces factor into success like what we’re seeing in this case. One is Swift’s exceptional marketing skills. Her dedicated fans will come out in droves to purchase her art, and the mysterious buzz that centered around the album intrigued the public to tune in. The star’s highly acclaimed releases of folklore (2021’s album of the year) and evermore (a 2022 album of the year nominee) during the pandemic certainly brought in a ton of new fans who perhaps overlooked her sharp lyricism before. But Taylor wants you to know that despite her magical stay in the forest and woodlands, she is in fact still bejeweled, and ready to remind everyone how much her shine still shimmers as a pop titan.

Presented as a loose concept album, Midnights centers on 13 sleepless nights throughout Taylor’s life (plus 7 songs on the “3am edition” that also fit the theme). Surely as she has been re-recording her albums as Taylor’s Versions, old feelings and memories have come to the surface that she is revisiting from a new perspective. Midnights still showcases Swift’s unmatched lyrical ability while taking us on a Jack Antonoff led synth journey.

1. Lavender Haze “All they keep asking me is if I’m gonna be your bride,” Swift laments on the opening track “Lavender Haze.” Which is funny because she spent 2019’s Lover with a bridge of wedding vows and a song about marrying her boyfriend of 6 years now, actor Joe Alwyn, with paper rings. But it is also an astute observation on how the world sees women, as she rejects “the 1950s shit they want from me.” She doesn’t want to follow anyone else’s wishes or timelines, or answer anyone’s questions, she just wants to stay staring at the ceiling with her partner, immersed in the lavender haze (a saying she caught from an episode of Mad Men). She knows that’s where she’s safest, because she’s “damned if I do give a damn what people say.” As an opening track, it delivers sonically and melodically, even in its smaller moments (the little “yeah oh yeah”s in the pre chorus are addictive), it’s a grand number.  Best lyric: “I’m damned if I do give a damn what people say.”

2. Maroon The title track of Swift’s project Red is placed at track two. So it’s no surprise that Swift placed a song with red shade as its title in the same spot. “Maroon” details all the little scarlet moments throughout the ups and downs of a relationship, some examples including wine, hickeys, the sky, and rust. The first verse shows the relationship at its peak, “laughing with my feet in your lap, like you were my closest friend,” and the second verse juxtaposes it with its breakdown, “sobbing with your head in your hands, ain’t that the way shit always ends?” The final chorus on the track holds some of Taylor’s most interesting (and sensual) vocal delivery to date, her lower register extremely impressive and underrated. Best lyric: “The rust that grew between telephones.”

3. Anti-Hero Do you remember in 2012 when everyone and their father would make jokes that Taylor Swift should write a song called “Maybe I’m The Problem” as a response to her breakup songs? Well, ten years later, she gave them something very close to what they asked. “It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me,” she sings in the chorus of the lead single “Anti-Hero” (though not released prior to the album), which Swift claims to be one of her favorite songs she’s ever written. On folklore and evermore, Taylor sang about mental health struggles without explicitly saying that she was the subject of those songs. However, here, it is clearly autobiographical without question. As a fan, to hear her so blatantly say “my depression” in a song was both jarring and relatable. The track lays out her intrusive thoughts about herself, her maladaptive behaviors, ignoring people or pushing loved ones away instead of letting them in. While she sings “I’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror,” the song shows how much her music is safe haven for her to sneak a glance at her reflection.  Best lyric: “Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism, like some kind of congressman?”

4. Snow On The Beach (ft. Lana Del Rey) The dreamy “Snow On The Beach” is a romantic love ballad in which Swift is mesmerized by the fact that the person she wants actually wants her back. She can’t quite believe their love, and she’s afraid if she speaks of it, she’ll find out it was an illusion all along. Throughout Swift’s music, and especially in this song, she uses light to describe her partner, singing “I’ve never seen someone lit from within, blurring out my periphery.” While Lana Del Rey, someone Swift hails as one of her musical idols, mostly singing background vocals might seem like an odd choice, just like seeing snow on the beach, it’s “weird, but fucking beautiful.” Best lyric: “Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful.”

5. You’re On Your Own, Kid “You’re On Your Own, Kid” is a journey through Swift’s life and career thus far. The song starts by detailing an unrequited love, which leads her to writing songs in her room and playing them in the parking lot, eventually running away and pursuing her dream of becoming a star. And although her dreams aren’t rare, her success surely is. But even at the height of her success, no longer sitting by herself at the lunch table at junior high, she still found herself alone. “I hosted parties and starved my body, like I’d be saved by a perfect kiss / The jokes weren’t funny, I took the money, my friends from home don’t know what to say.” She was degraded by the public and degraded herself. And just as things got better, her life’s work that she put her blood, sweat, and tears into was sold out from under her. But the Taylor’s Versions have been able to give her some solace, “Everything you lose is a step you take.” She ends the song on a hopeful note, reminding herself that she doesn’t have to be afraid; she’s always been on her own and she’s always made it through, and she always will. And the listener can resonate too. We’re all truly on our own at the end of the day, but we’ve gotten this far; we can keep going. Best lyric: “I hosted parties and starved my body, like I’d be saved by a perfect kiss.”

6. Midnight Rain On “Midnight Rain,” Taylor highlights the differences between the life she could’ve had and the life she pursued. “He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain / he wanted a bride, I was making my own name,” she (and a distorted voice) sings in the chorus. That life of a small-town girl is far away now, and not one she ever truly wanted, but one she sometimes sneaks a peak at through postcards and time portals and wonders what it might be like. Similar to “Lavender Haze,” this track establishes Swift’s aversion to societal standards, and her embracement of constantly changing and evolving, as evident through her music and career to date. It’s a real catchy ear worm, and after a few listens you really learn to love that voice distortion. Best lyric: “He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain.”

7. Question…? While Taylor leaves many hints as to what or who some of her songs might be about, “Question…?” Has one of her most obvious clues to date, as the song starts with a sampling of her song “Out of the Woods” from 1989, a song famously known to be about her relationship with Harry Styles. Not only is there the sample, but also lyrical parallels. “The rest of the world was black and white / but we were in screaming color,” she sings on “Out of the Woods.” On “Question…?” She says, “I don’t remember who I was before you painted all my nights a color I’ve searched for since.” One could assume while going back and rerecording 1989, she may have reflected on the relationship, with questions popping up. While it seems as if Swift knows the answers to these questions already, she still wants to ask them and get the confirmation and closure she’s searching for, a very relatable feeling. Just like in life, though, she doesn’t get any explicit answers in the song, but maybe she doesn’t need them anymore, anyway. Best lyric: “Does it feel like everything’s just like second best after that meteor strike?”

8. Vigilante Shit When listing the things that kept Taylor up at night, serving as inspiration for this album, one thing she cites is plotting revenge. In the revenge fantasy “Vigilante Shit,” Swift tips off the FBI about her enemy (presumably Sc**ter Br**n) and his “white collar crimes,” and assists his ex-wife in winning their divorce. “I don’t start shit, but I can tell you how it ends,” she croons. Which, historically, is true. Swift has rarely been the instigator of a feud or fight, but when she’s targeted, she comes back on top every time. After all, karma is her boyfriend. Best lyric: “Ladies always rise above, ladies know what people want / someone sweet, and kind, and fun / the lady simply had enough.”

9. Bejeweled “Bejeweled” is an exciting and fun pop song about letting go of the people and things that drag you down and allowing yourself to shimmer again. We can surmise that “Bejeweled” represents a night during a dead-end relationship where she finally prioritized herself again and learned she can still shine on her own right. In a radio interview, Swift said that “Bejeweled” mirrored her re-entrance into the pop landscape after her folk escapades, and that she had to pump herself back up into believing that she could still do it. The track itself proves that Swift stills rules without competition. Best lyric: “And when I meet the band, they ask, ‘Do you have a man?’ I could still say, ‘I don’t remember.’”

10. Labyrinth One of the few ballads on the standard edition, “Labyrinth” tracks Taylor’s thought process as she realizes she’s falling in love again, despite all of her fears after being burned in the past. She laments her pain and acknowledges her worries. The progression from “uh oh,” to “oh no,” to “oh,” before the line “I’m falling in love,” shows her trepidation turned to acceptance, due to the length’s this person would go to just to make her smile. While there are some synth sounds that seem slightly out of place, overall it is a song anyone who is learning to open up their hearts after being hurt can relate to. Best lyric: “Break up, break free, break through, break down.”

11. Karma “Ask me why so many fade, but I’m still here,” she sings on “Karma.” The answer? One could be her incredible talent and hard work ethic. But an additional answer is because her and karma vibe like that. In this catchy pop hit, Taylor reaps the rewards of staying true to who she is while karma takes down her enemies who never keep their side of the street clean. She knows karma is on her side, and she can relax trusting that it’ll do its thing. And so far, it has served her well. In the most Taylor Swift™ fashion of all time, she compares karma to a cat purring in her lap because it loves her. And it is! It does! Best lyric: “Karma’s a relaxing thought / aren’t you envious that for you it’s not?”

12. Sweet Nothing Co-penned by William Bowery aka Joe Alwyn, “Sweet Nothing” is a love song from Swift to Alwyn. She discusses all the negative things going on around her and the way people push and shove to get a piece of her, while her partner is just in the kitchen humming, asking nothing of her, just loving her as she is. We get a brief peak into their dynamic in the truly sweet lyric, “On the way home, I wrote a poem / you say, ‘what a mind,’ this happens all the time.” To be loved for your mind rather than your status is a gift for someone like Swift. I’m sure the poems are lovely. Best lyric: “Outside, they’re push and shoving, you’re in the kitchen humming / all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.”

13. Mastermind A word that has been weaponized against Taylor over the years is “calculated.” On “Mastermind,” the standard edition’s closing track, she owns the claim, singing, “I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian cuz I care.” “Mastermind” is Taylor’s confession to her partner that she masterminded their entire relationship from the first night he saw her. She confides in him in one of her most personal lyrics yet, singing, “No one wanted to play with me as a little kid / so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since / to make them love me and make it seem effortless.” She thought no one could love her unless she tricked them into it. But upon her confession, his smile proves her wrong, because he knew the entire time that she thought she was masterminding their relationship, but in reality he went along with it because he wanted her too, schemes and all. She finally found her effortless love. Best lyric: “No one wanted to play with me as a little kid / so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since / to make them love me and make it seem effortless.”

3am Tracks

14. The Great War On the first 3am track, Taylor teams back up with her other folklore & evermore collaborator, Aaron Dessner of The National. “The Great War” seems to be about a fight in a relationship, and Swift’s difficulty bouncing back from it. She lays out her lack of trust from past relationships and how that has interfered with reconciliation efforts, as she sings, “And maybe it’s the past that’s talking, screaming from a crypt / telling me to punish you for things you never did.” But despite some of these maladaptive behaviors, her partner still reached for her hand, trying to make things right. And they did it, they survived, and that survival brought back her faith.  Best lyric: “You drew up some good faith treaties / I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone.”

15. Bigger Than The Whole Sky “Bigger Than The Whole Sky” is a song about loss. Although the loss of exactly what is unclear, the grief is palpable. She searches for what might have caused such a tragedy, wondering if she was at fault. There are so many questions in grief to which we never receive answers. This song has resonated with many fans online, relating it to their own personal experiences of miscarriages, deaths, and pet losses.  Best lyric: “Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness.”

16. Paris In this fun pop song, Taylor compares the view of her partner to that of the city of Paris. She’s so in love that she might stop breathing, that she doesn't care about her friends’ gossip or what’s on the news. She’s transported into a world of romance where nothing else matters, where alleyways appear and cheap wine tastes like champagne. It’s the excitement of completely falling into someone as the rest of the world fades away. Best lyric: “I wanna brainwash you into loving me forever.”

17. High Infidelity “High Infidelity” is an intriguing track, produced by Aaron Dessner, about the end of an unhappy relationship. We can presume that she is referring to her ex, the DJ known as Calvin Harris, her previous long-term boyfriend before meeting her current partner, with lyrics like “put on your records and regret me” and “put on your headphones and burn my city.” In the song, Swift is implying that there was some type of infidelity, whether physical or emotional only is not quite clear, but either way she admits, “I bent the truth too far tonight,” and asks, “do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?” But she didn’t think it would matter much to him, and is surprised by his sense of betrayal and hurt, but not particularly remorseful. Best lyric: “You know there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love / the slowest way is never loving them enough.”

18. Glitch Another Antonoff produced track written alongside Sam Dew and Mark Anthony Spears, “Glitch,” is one of the sexier tracks on the album. The concept is that Taylor can’t quite fathom how this love of hers has worked out for 2,190 days (that’s 6 years, if you didn’t know) and counting when all she’s been used to is situation-ships and dudes who give nothing. So if it’s lasted this long, it’s gotta be a glitch in the system, right? Best lyric: “And I’m not even sorry / nights are so starry, blood moonlit.”

19. Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve While “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” is arguably one of the best tracks on all of Midnights, everything Swift does is for a reason. When you listen to the song, it becomes quite evident why she put it at track 19. “And I damn sure never would’ve danced with the devil at 19,” she sings. As an avid fan, you immediately hear the echoing of the best song on her third album Speak Now, “Dear John,” which has the lyric, “don’t you think 19’s too young to be played by your dark twisted games when I loved you so?” And it becomes clear what she’s discussing: the power dynamic in her relationship when she was 19 with John Mayer, who was 32 at the time (Swift’s current age). One could assume rerecording Speak Now (which Swift has highly hinted at being the next rerelease) brought up some old feelings. “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve,” is a powerful track filled with intense regret. She describes him as a “promising grown man,” putting a spin on the monicker often given in defense of younger men who abuse women. She likens the relationship to religion: “you’re a crisis of my faith,” “all I used to do was pray,” “gone along with the righteous.” This was a man that she idolized, and the fall from his pedestal crushed her in irreparable ways. “Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first,” she pleads with a heart wrenching ache in her voice. It’s hard to listen to this song without feeling pain for her, especially as she ups the octave for the outro, making the regret feel more urgent, more palpable. Best lyric: “God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be / the tomb won’t close, stained-glass windows in my mind / I regret you all the time.”

20. Dear Reader The 3am edition closing track is “Dear Reader,” a letter to her listeners. She gives advice about avoiding traps, starting over, keeping secrets, and aiming for the devil. But she also gives the caveat, “Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart,” supposedly referring to herself. But the best advice comes from those who have fallen, who have experience, who feel a range of emotions quite like Swift does. That’s why she is so popular; because people can relate to her words and they keep them close to their hearts. “You should find another guiding light,” she suggests. But this sign can’t stop me because I can’t read! Best lyric: “You don’t have to answer just cuz they asked you.”

Target Deluxe Edition

Hits Different The Target Deluxe Edition exclusive song “Hits Different” marks the return of Swift, Dessner, and Antonoff all together. The song feels very vintage Swift, almost like it could’ve been a recent “From The Vault” track. “Hits Different” is about a breakup that is much harder to get over than any other she’s experienced. She hears their song everywhere, she stops receiving invitations because she can’t stop slurring his name when she’s out with friends, she cries over a hat. She’s so far gone in this breakup that she thinks people are coming to take her away. Anyone who has experienced a tough breakup could probably find a lyric in this song to which they can relate. But even without being able to relate, it’s a fun, funny, enjoyable track served as a nice treat for loyal fans who actually go out and buy CDs these days. Best lyric: “I pictured you with other girls, in love / then threw up on the street.”

---

In conclusion, 16 years into her career, you best believe Taylor Swift is definitely still bejeweled, and on Midnights she shimmers more than she ever has, even when touching on long-gone relationships and peering into old wounds, being more vulnerable than she has on projects past. Each album and era seems like her peak, yet she continues to outdo herself in multiple ways. With more Taylor’s Versions on the horizon, hopefully Swift will continue to gain inspiration in various ways as a result of revisiting her old work. But if she doesn’t, we know she’s always got some tricks up her sleeve.

DISCLAIMER - REVIEWER’S BIAS: Taylor Swift is the mother I never had, she is the sister everybody would want, she is the friend that everybody deserves. I don’t know a better person.

[april-is]

April 1, 2022: New Year, Kate Baer

New Year Kate Baer

Look at it, cold and wet like a newborn calf. I want to tell it everything—how we struggled, how we tore out our hair and thumbed through rusted nails just to stand for its birth. I want to say: look how far we’ve come. Promise our resolutions.

But what does a baby care for oaths and pledges? It only wants to live.

==

Hi. How are you? Shall we do this thing?

As a reminder, you can get a daily poem emailed to you in April by signing up here. Or catch it via Twitter, this Tumblr, or RSS. I’m glad you’re here.

==

Today in:

2021: Instructions on Not Giving Up, Ada Limón 2020: Motto, Bertolt Brecht 2019: Separation, W.S. Merwin 2018: Good Bones, Maggie Smith 2017: Better Days, A.F. Moritz 2016: Jenny Kiss’d Me, Leigh Hunt 2015: The Night House, Billy Collins 2014: Tim Riggins Speaks of Waterfalls, Nico Alvarado 2013: Nan Hardwicke Turns Into a Hare, Wendy Pratt 2012: A Short History of the Apple, Dorianne Laux 2011: New York Poem, Terrance Hayes 2010: On Wanting to Tell [ ] about a Girl Eating Fish Eyes, Mary Szybist 2009: A Little Tooth, Thomas Lux 2008: The Sciences Sing a Lullabye, Albert Goldbarth 2007: Elegy of Fortinbras, Zbigniew Herbert 2006: When Leather is a Whip, by Martin Espada 2005: Parents, William Meredith

[hieroglyphicsqiosang]

you look like a GAY PIRATE. ​​​​

Matthew McConaughey in  Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)

(from Crash95)

[goldenmessenger]

TS Actor AU: The Family We Chose - Part One

Summary: One year ago, Thomas discovered something new about himself, and now he's finally ready to act on that information.Virgil gave up along time ago, so he doesn't expect to hear what he was searching for call his name.Many questions are asked, and they will be answered, with time.

Read on Ao3 here.

A/N: Hey everyone! So, first entry for the AU that doesn’t feature Remus, Roman, or Dillon. I saw your responses to my ideas post, so my current plan is to try to work on all of them! I realized working on Reach Out Your Hand that I had burned myself out a little on angst. So I’m going to try to rotate through different stories. So there will be another part to this, but first, we’ll get to see what Logan and Patton (+Virgil) were doing during the events of I’ve Got You Brother and Reach Out Your Hand.

As usual, let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! 

Content Warnings:

Adoption, feelings of abandonment, minor negative feelings towards adoption (mostly due to how a character’s parents handle it)

*************************************************

It had been a year. One year since Thomas’s dad had died, officially making Thomas an orphan as his mother had died when Thomas was a child. He was alone.

Or so Thomas had thought.

Then his father’s executor brought him a letter that revealed that Thomas had been adopted, and his parents had never told him. 

Thomas had spiraled for a little bit after that. He knew there was nothing wrong with being adopted, but Thomas felt like that was easier to say about other people who knew from the beginning that they were adopted. Finding out like this, after both of his parents were dead? That made him feel like it was something to be ashamed of. Like his adoption was some deep, dark secret. 

It had taken a lot of therapy and a lot of conversations with his close friends for Thomas to stop resenting his parents. Both the ones who had raised him, and the biological ones that Thomas had never known. The ones who had given him up.

And even more work to get Thomas to this point. The point where 8 weeks ago, he’d sent in a DNA test to Ancestry. The point where he now sat on the floor with his friends Patton and Joan, in the former’s Atlanta apartment, staring at the email he’d gotten. The email that he couldn’t bring himself to open. 

“You know, it could be nothing.” Joan said, in an attempt to break the silence. When Patton and Thomas looked at them, they added, “Didn’t you say before, Thomas, when you were researching, that it’s pretty common to get a third or fourth cousin, and have to work your way from there?”

“Yeah.” Thomas said, finally. “It’s uncommon to get a direct match right out of the gate. If you do, you’re really lucky.” And Thomas knew that. Knew that this likely wouldn’t be an instant solution. This would just be the start of a rocky road, and a lot of long searching. But, well, he didn’t know. Part of him was hoping for an easy fix, an instant find, but the other part? That was the part of him that was keeping him from opening this email. The part of him that was suddenly scared of actually meeting his bio-family. 

What if he didn’t like them? What if they didn’t like him? They’d given him up for a reason, after all. Thomas didn’t even know if there was anything worth finding.

Patton and Joan saw Thomas’s hesitation, and exchanged a glance.

“How about this?” Patton said, doing his best to smile at Thomas reassuringly. “Joan or I could open it for you, if that’s easier, and tell you the results?”

Thomas nodded, and handed the laptop over to Patton. Thomas couldn’t bring himself to speak. The anticipation had his stomach tied in more knots than a tangled pair of headphones.

Patton opened the email, and followed the link inside it. Joan squeezed Thomas’s hand in theirs. All Thomas could do was focus on Patton’s face.

Suddenly, Patton’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

“What, what is it?” Thomas questioned anxiously. Patton merely turned around the laptop.

At the top of the page was a name.

Virgil Bailey

Member Since 2012, Last Logged in September 16, 2013

But what Thomas found more interesting, and what had likely caused Patton’s surprise, were the sentences below all of that.

Possible range: Full - Half Siblings

Confidence: Extremely High

Thomas stared.

“I-I have a brother.” Thomas said, feeling breathless and a little lightheaded. 

“Click on the profile, Patton.” Joan urged. “Let’s see what this guy looks like!”

“Only if Thomas wants to.” Patton reminded Joan.

“Yeah. I think I do.” Thomas confirmed.

And Patton clicked on the profile. All three friends gasped.

The young man in the photo was dressed in a simple purple shirt and gray hoodie, looking squarely into the camera. And he looked so much like Thomas! Brown hair, matching eyes, the same nose. And it really began to sink in for Thomas. This was his brother.

“Wait a minute.” Joan said suddenly. “I think I know him!”

Patton and Thomas both immediately turned to Joan.

“What do you mean, you know him?” Thomas questioned, a little confused.

Joan was scrolling through their phone, until they finally flipped it around to show Thomas an instagram page with the name Virgil Bailey at the top.

“Found him!” They said triumphantly. “I almost didn’t recognize that picture of him, but I knew the name was familiar.”

The post Joan had pulled up was a series of selfies. The first depicted the same young man as in the Ancestry profile picture, though Thomas instantly understood why Joan didn’t recognize it at first.

The Virgil in this picture had multiple piercings in each ear, plus an eyebrow piercing in his left eyebrow. His hair, instead of cleanly and simply cut like in the previous photo, was a bright purple, and styled to hang in front of his eyes. The eyes in question were framed with dramatic purple eyeshadow and eyeliner. However, compared to the rest of him, his clothes were fairly simple. Just a long-sleeved black shirt, and black jeans.

“That’s a pretty color.” Patton commented, but Thomas barely noticed as he swiped through the photos.

The first selfie seemed to show Virgil sitting down in a cafe. The second was similar, but there was someone in the background, making a funny face at the camera. Thomas took a double-take, and realized who it was.

“Joan? What—”

“Shh.” Joan said waving a hand at Thomas. “Look at the rest first.”

The third picture showed Joan right behind Virgil, giving the young man bunny ears. The young man in question had clearly been just starting to realize Joan was there as the camera had taken the photo, judging by his wide eyes.

In the fourth, and last, picture, Virgil and Joan were sittiing next to each other, with Joan beaming widely into the camera, and Virgil looking happy, if a little surprised.

The caption read:

Was on my lunch break at a cute local cafe, and look who I ran into! The famous Director Stokes, who also currently happens to kinda be my boss. I’m working tech for a movie they’re filming in the area! They’re even cooler in person, and took the time to learn my name and talk to me for a little bit. Doubt I’ll ever run into them again, or that they’ll remember my name, but now I’ve got a cool story for the future.

Thomas’s head snapped up. 

“Did he say he’s working tech on your movie right now?” Thomas said. Joan grinned wide.

“Yep.” They said, with the slightest hint of smugness. 

“The one I’m currently starring in?” Thomas said. “Watch it Burn and Rust?”

“Yep!” Joan said cheerfully. “I’d seen him around on set, and I photobombed his selfie because I was intrigued by how much he looked like you.” Joan did sober up a bit, expression turning serious. “I’d kinda thought it’d be kinda funny to laugh about later, but now we know why he looks like you.”

“Wow!” Patton said, eyes wide. “What are the odds of this sort of thing happening?”

“Small, probably.” Thomas said, quietly. He frowned, and turned to his friends. “What now?”

“Well,” Patton began, “I’d love to help you two plan, but I have to go back to San Francisco tomorrow. I told Dee I’d help him with the wedding plans.” Patton pouted. “It’s too bad, I’d love to meet your brother!”

“I think I probably won’t want to overwhelm him, but thanks for the offer.” Thomas said. “Besides, I’m guessing your brother will need your help to temper out more of Remus’s...extreme ideas.”

“You don’t even know half of it.” Patton sighed, tired. “Roman just texted me yesterday, begging me to help me convince Remus that it was a bad idea for him to pop out of the wedding cake to make an entrance into the reception. And that’s just the beginning of it. I haven’t even started on the ideas he’s had for Dillon’s bachelor party. To be honest, I think he might be trolling us a little.”

“Sounds like Remus!” Joan laughed. “You’ll have to say hi to that chaotic trash man for me!”

“I will.” Patton promised. “Now, Thomas, back to Virgil. It looks like he hasn’t been on Ancestry in a while, so if you send him a message on there he probably won’t get it. But you know now that he’ll be on the movie set with you. So what’s your plan?”

Thomas frowned, lost in thought.

“Well……”

*************************************************

The next day….

Virgil hummed to himself as he double-checked the lights on set, making sure they were secure. He liked moments like this, where it was just him, on top of a scissor lift adjusting lights. He was far away from the hustle and bustle on the ground below, and it was just him and the lights. Virgil turned to the controls and slowly lowered himself to the ground. His supervisor, Chris, greeted him as he got down. 

“The lights all secure up there, Virge?” 

“Yep, nice and tight, just like they should be.” Virgil replied, promptly. “They’ll be in place and ready for filming tomorrow.”

“Great, thank you Virge.” Chris said. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yep!” Virgil said. “Bright and early as usual, before anything with any amount of sanity is up.”

“You’ve got that right!” Chris said with a laugh. “See ya!”

Virgil smiled and waved, and walked away. He was looking forward to going home and collapsing. Mom would probably have food waiting for him, like she usually did when he had to work these long days. And he could continue to ignore the email notification he had gotten from Ancestry. They claimed that a new genetic match had been found. Virgil could care less.

He didn’t want to get his hopes up anymore.

He was about to exit the building, when he heard a voice behind him.

“Virgil! Virgil Bailey!”

Virgil turned, though groaning inwardly. Usually if someone was shouting his name like that it meant that something had gone wrong and he was needed to fix it. And he wouldn’t get home for another couple of hours. 

“What is it this time, Chris—” Virgil froze mid sentence. 

That was definitely not Chris. 

Not unless Chris had somehow figured out how to shapeshift himself into Thomas Freaking Sanders, Virgil’s idol and personal hero.

“M-Mr. Sanders.” Virgil stuttered, mind racing. Why on earth would Thomas Sanders know his name? How did Thomas Sanders even know that he existed. “Can I help you?”

“I-” Thomas began, but stopped mid sentence. For the first time, Virgil actually looked at him and realized something that shocked him. Thomas Sanders was nervous. About talking to him, Virgil Bailey, a complete unknown. Suddenly, Thomas spoke again.

“I-I was wondering if I could talk to you.”

“About?” Virgil questioned, genuinely curious, although the part of him that could never really trust anyone was on guard. Virgil had to protect himself first. He already knew the consequences of being too trusting all too well.

“W-well,” Thomas said, looking even more nervous, “I was hoping we could talk in private? Maybe on the way to dinner?”

“What?” Virgil said, stunned. “Why would you want to go to dinner with me? You don’t even know me?”

“Well, I—” Thomas sighed. “This isn’t going quite like I planned but—” “But?” Virgil said.

“I’m your brother.”

*************************************************

The silence in the back of Thomas’s limo was uncomfortable. Neither man quite knew how to break the silence that stretched between them like a rubber band. Tenuous and feeling like it could snap at any moment. 

Virgil kept turning things over in his head. He’d finally looked at that Ancestry email, and it had confirmed what Thomas had said. 

He still couldn’t quite believe it.

Finally, Thomas broke the silence.

“Look, I—” Thomas took a deep breath, the kind Virgil knew well. It was the kind of breath you only take when your brain is swirling with chaos, and you’re desperately trying to contain it. 

“I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything.” Thomas said. “I know that this has to seem absolutely crazy. You probably didn’t even know I existed until I came to talk to you.” Thomas took another desperate breath, clearly still struggling to stay calm. “If you don’t want to have a relationship with me, I completely understa—”

“No!” Virgil said, feeling a sudden sense of urgency swell up within him. Thomas stopped talking, clearly taken aback by Virgil’s sudden interjection. Virgil realized he should probably clarify his statement.

“I mean,” Virgil said, “You’re wrong. I did know I had a brother. That’s why I got that Ancestry account, why I took the DNA test. And it wasn’t the only one I took either. I was hoping that I could find him, or you, I guess.”

“You were looking for me?” Thomas said softly. Virgil suddenly felt embarrassed at his own outburst and looked at his feet.

“Yeah, for years. I mean, I didn’t know who you were, but I knew that you were out there somewhere. But I got frustrated, and—” Virgil shrugged helplessly. “I gave up. Couldn’t take constantly getting my hopes up only to have them dashed.”

Silence again.

“What I mean is,” Virgil said, “I’d like to try for a relationship with you, if I haven’t screwed things up already.”

“You haven’t.” Thomas said. “And I’d like to try too.”

Virgil shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“I’m guessing you have some questions?” Virgil said.

“Yeah, I do,” said Thomas, “but we’ve been sitting here a while, and I did promise you dinner?” Thomas smiled hopefully at Virgil.

“Sure.” Virgil said, and smiled back.

*************************************************

Taglist:

@ironwoman359

@galacticguppy

@trashpanda-remus 

@atticusfinchthelegend

@ravenclawunicorn1

@voidvirgil

@dogwithpants

@dreaming-about-kittens

@ro-arts-blog

[flatstarcarcosa]

Oak, stars, apple for Rust?? !!

oak - who’s the more emotional one? how do you balance each other out in this aspect?

oh me definitely. it mellows out through the years, though. once i hike up to alaska and drag his ass back to shore (literally, he went and worked on fishing trawlers for a while), we both try to clean up our acts. i get a respectable job for once and unlock health insurance and we find out I Am Much Better When Correctly Medicated. 

we balance it out that rust reminds me to be logical and think things through more. he’s good for reminding me what i’m feeling in the moment isn’t the whole world, don’t lose the forest for the trees type things. 

stars - what kind of a date would your f/o take you on?

we spend a lot of nights propped in the bed of his truck sharing a bottle of cheap booze. he rambles about the dora lange case when it’s hot, and after it’s closed he always loops back to it. he never lets it go, and even after 2012 he sometimes brings it up again. it eats at him that even though he got his killer, there’s more of them out there. there’s a whole damn conspiracy out there. he still thinks maybe he can topple the whole thing one day. 

apple - do you and your f/o cook together? what do you make?

after we finally find out that a lot of my health issues were due to the gluten thing, he takes a moderate interest in cooking, trying to find alternatives. we never really put much effort into it previously, but since i can no longer eat shitty take out and ramen noodles, one of us has to make sure i get fed and he knows it wont be me. 

[elliepassmore]

After Anthology Review

4/5 stars Recommended for people who like: anthologies, dystopia, apocalyptic fiction, post-apocalyptic fiction, survival stories, end of the world The Segment 5/5 stars It’s been a while since I’ve read this entire anthology through, normally I just pick out the stories I like and read those, so I’d forgotten this story was in the book and I’d actually given up on ever finding where I’d read it. I love this one. It gives a nice twist to what media might look like in the future, and though it was written in 2012, it certainly gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘fake news.’ The story has a post-apocalyptic dusty vibe to it, where it’s rough and tumble, but no one is exactly miserable, and the characters definitely have the ‘fend for yourself’ that’s typical for the genre. Something I think is unique is that society hasn’t collapsed and it’s not pretending to be a dystopic utopia, it’s just society and this is merely how it’s turned out. It’s definitely one of my favorites in the anthology and the twist(s) at the end are fantastic and hard to see coming. After the Cure 5/5 stars This is another one of my favorites and is actually the story that I usually skip to first. I thought for years that this was a zombie story, but this reread I noticed that the protagonist suggests they’re vampires…but they still seem to be zombies, so we’re going with zombies. I don’t like zombies. Ever. I avoid all books, movies, and TV shows about them, but this short story is so bloody fantastic (and the zombie part actually minor enough) that it’s one that I reread about once a year. The story follows a cured zombie-vampire-whatever and the weird sociolegal space she finds herself in after being rehabilitated. Thought short the story explores who the monsters really are as well as whether being cured is always something to be desired. The former is something that you see a lot, but I don’t see a ton of the latter and I enjoy how Ryan looks at the sense of community that comes with being a zombie-vampire-whatever and how that community (as well as the hunger) lingers and is something the cured still feel and desire. Valedictorian 4/5 stars I always find this story a bit confusing, though I think I’ve read it enough now that it makes some sense. It’s set about a century after humanity’s war with androids and now the bottom 10% of high schoolers and the top 1% are taken outside of the Firewall (which isn’t explained, but I’m assuming it’s a virtual, code-based electric fence). I’m not sure how I feel about the story itself, but I do like the main character, Zinhle, who strives for excellence even knowing the consequences and allows herself to be angry. The story is a bit of a ‘tired of smalltown’ story, but sci-fi and more like a slice-of-life than Chris Pine’s version of Captain Kirk, who proceeds to go on and have adventures. Zinhle feels more real. Visiting Nelson 3/5 stars This one’s set in a post-apocalyptic London after flooding has turned it into a wasteland. It’s written dialectally, which is interesting and adds a nice element to the story, but even though I felt connected to the world, I wasn’t drawn to the characters or even the plot, really. I liked the idea of the characters going to see this person/thing they called Nelson (who is Nelson from “Kiss me Hardy!” and the Battle of Trafalgar, not Nelson Mandela). The bits where Charlie, the narrator, talks about the floods and the way London has changed are also interesting, but the main part, about Morris and nirv and the Hairies were not all that interesting to me, though Langrish did a decent job worldbuilding. All I know of Freedom 4/5 stars TW sexual assault This story starts one way and then does a switchback and begins going another way. In the beginning, it seems like the story will be about a future where society’s regressed and gone back to the whole ‘rich kidnap/buy foreign kids for labor’ sort of thing, but then it ends up being a cult story. The slave part of the story is brief and reminds me a bit of The Little Princess, but the interesting bits come later on, when it turns into a cult story. The narrator is about 12- or 13-years old and stumbles across the cult on accident, though she quickly becomes an insider. I liked seeing the different perspective a kid has of a cult than what an adult would have and the manner in which the narrator makes her decision about going to Proxima Centauri with the cult or staying on earth. The Other Elder 4/5 stars I will say, I really really liked Revis’ Across the Universe series when I first read it, but I tried rereading it again recently and just found the whole thing too creepy for my liking. This short story is a prequel to those, and like most prequels, you needn’t’ve read the originals to understand this one. Weirdly enough, I actually find this story less creepy than the original trilogy, even though it deals more with the nitty gritty of mind control and the ‘need’ to have everyone conform. I think my favorite part of this short is how well Revis shows that the things we adamantly believe in as a kid don’t hold true as an adult, and how sometimes our adult selves would disappoint and anger our younger selves. I will say though, I would’ve liked a scene in the middle where it becomes clear why Elder changed his mind—I mean, I can guess and I’m sure there’s a decent chance I’m right, but sometimes I like direct answers. The Great Game at the End of the World 3/5 stars This is another confusing one. I think something similar to the rapture occurred, though it also involved the semi-destruction of the world into a bunch of fragmented floating pieces. I liked the Before/Now switching of the scenes, which served to help explain some of the other creatures/characters in the story, but also to give background on the narrator and his sister as well as the world before. I can’t really pinpoint why I’m not a fan of this one, because the setting and other creatures/characters are interesting and pretty unique, but I just don’t vibe with this story. Reunion 5/5 stars I like this one, though I can’t put my finger on what exactly it is I like so much about it. It seems to take place almost immediately after the overthrow of a dictator, with an older sister and a mother looking for their missing little sister/daughter. The story is largely told through dialogue, with Mama or Isabella explaining to the young ‘Maria’ what the truth of her family is, how she got taken, how they tried to find her, and so on. While it’s clearly a form of telling exposition rather than showing it, the dialogue is full of enough imagery that I have no trouble picturing what’s occurring and it doesn’t feel like I’m being ‘told’ anything. Isabella in particular intrigues me. She’s rather rough and tumble, having worked with/for the partisans to overthrow the government and I wish there was a longer story exploring Isabella and her life, either before or after the government overthrow. Blood Drive 5/5 stars TW shootings This story is a sort of ‘what if safety laws were repealed in the US’ sort of thing, where labor laws stopped being a thing, church is mandatory (and I’m guessing Christian), and everyone carries a gun. I’ll be frank, after the Parkland shooting when people were talking about having teachers carry, this was the story I thought of. This story is in part about the guns, but it’s also about living normal life under extremism. The way the story is written, you’re following a normal citizen who goes to high school and has a girlfriend and tries to figure out what she’s going to do after high school. I think I like the story so much because it’s somewhat of an unusual storyline—most stories that take place in extremist countries have the protagonist as a rebel—and it has a soft ending. Reality Girl 4/5 stars TW f-slur This is another story that has to do with media, but with a lesser focus on it than the first story had. In this one, something’s happened in the US that’s triggered its collapse and left the streets and waterways unsafe and UN Peacekeepers maintaining ‘temporary’ patrols and charity tents in the country. I like the concept of a truly destroyed US that wasn’t destroyed by infighting or even by war. Pure water is precious and the price for making the money to have access to it is exposing yourself to radiation and biohazards, meaning the risks of life after the end are never far away. I love the dystopian/apocalyptic genre and there are a lot of good writers in it that make the worlds real, but it’s hard to make the threats and consequences in them seem real sometimes, but I feel Bowes does a good job of that in this. There is a weird moment at the end, though, that definitely feels like a ‘and everyone clapped’ moment, which I wasn’t fond of. How Th’irth Wint Rong By Hapless Joey @ Homeskool.guv 3/5 stars Yeah…not a fan of this one. It’s written like it was written by someone who is largely illiterate, which is fine. It adds some authenticity to the piece and it actually isn’t hard to understand what’s being said. On the surface at least. I just don’t understand what the story is about. Or why. This kid is writing an essay about how the world ended for some contest and the contest is a scam, but there’s zero reason for me to care about this kid or this world and it’s really just something to read to get to the next story. Rust with Wings 4/5 stars I remember this story fairly well, though I think this is the first time I’ve reread it in several years and I’ll admit that it ends differently than I remembered it. In this one, some bugs have taken over Arizona and New Mexico and these bugs eat metal and are attracted to things that send out electromagnetic waves. I believe this is a prequel to another series by the author, but don’t quote me on that. I really enjoyed this one and the ingenuity the characters showed getting away from the bugs. Faint Heart 3.5/5 stars This one felt more like a novella than a short story, with a decent amount of background for each character and multiple POVs. It feels a bit more like a fantasy novella than a post-apocalyptic/dystopian one, but it’s still well-written and the world is vibrant. As lovely as the background and world-building is, the characters fall somewhat flat, I find. I don’t care at all about Tor, so I mostly tried to just speed through his POV. Yvain was interesting, but I would’ve liked it better if there’d been more of him back when Persie was alive, as his later self is just kind of a dick. Roz was actually interesting and I liked her character, she’s a bit of a trope, but at least she had vibrancy and personality to her where the others didn’t. If it had just been her, and the story continued through the trials, I’d’ve been more interested, I think. Also, a story about Miri and Dareus would be interesting, they were also deserving of more page time. The Easthound 4.5/5 stars Like most of these, I like the concept of this one. It’s a twist on the ‘lycanthropy virus’ where the virus sets in when people hit puberty, but not before (and if you’re already an adult then you get infected). I even like the characters in this one, each of them seemed to be pretty well fleshed out and even if they act silly in the beginning it doesn’t feel out of place. I love the twist at the end too and the fact there’s so many hints before that, but you still don’t see it coming until you’re there. My only real complaint is that I wish the story was longer. Gray 2/5 stars This one was a poem. Which is fine, I like poetry, but it isn’t even a very good poem and it certainly doesn’t fit with the rest of the theme of the anthology. Before 5/5 stars This is another one that takes the past and twists it a little to make it the future. In this one, a little Indigenous girl has been stolen from her parents by invaders who experiment on her in an attempt to find the cure for a manufactured disease. I really liked the focus on naming and storytelling in this one. The storytelling not only tells us something about the narrator, but it also serves to show aspects of the narrator’s culture, and the naming aspect has a poignancy to it that I rather enjoy. Fake Plastic Trees 3/5 stars I don’t dislike this one, but I also don’t like it either. It’s set after a breach at an MIT lab lets loose nanobots that turn about 70% of the world to PVC. For some reason, it took the arm/National Guard seven years to find any other survivors. When you have places like Montreal and San Francisco surviving, the fact that the surviving portion of Jacksonville doesn’t know about the rest of the world and its new technology feels somewhat like a plot hole. Also, I wasn’t a fan of the narrator. But the narration style is interesting, it goes right along with that ‘purposefully narrating’ and unreliable narrator stuff I like so much in other stories. You Won’t Feel a Thing 4/5 stars This is a prequel (companion prequel?) to Nix’s series Shade’s Children. I think the concept is interesting, with people 15+ disappearing one day and some alien/monster things coming and mutating kids. It even has the pocket of resistance/survivors thing I like in other survival stories. There was plenty background information so nothing about the world was confusing, but I’m still left feeling like the story was about that damn toothache more than anything else and what I want to feel is the opposite, so I knocked a star off. The Marker 4/5 stars This is another pretty good one that I’ll come back and reread on its own sometimes. I like the dystopic!Roman feel of the story, with the people who ensure the health and continued growth of the population known as Paters. I also found the color and DNA system interesting as well, and while the DNA is explained, the color never is. The characters don’t interest me too much, but I like the mood and tone of it.