#remembering a post i saw someone else make a few weeks ago

[lizeon]

totally not about to cry at work listening to a fucking beautiful cover of simple and clean

[starry-bi-sky]

I saw a post a few months ago (and damn was it really months? In PLURAL?) that was a cracky dpxdc au where the LOS were making Damian clones but the clones kept getting snatched by ghost portals and dropped into Danny’s lap and Danny just goes “ok ig this is my life now” and takes care of each one until he has his own mini army of Damian Clones.

And I remembered it a few days ago, and now I've been thinking about it again. Because I love clone aus (see: clone danny au, the 'danny is thomas wayne' au) because it itches the part of my mind that loves exploring personhood and the exploration of identity and what it means to be clone.

(What do you do when nothing about you is unique? When your face, your eyes, your hands, your hair, your voice, all the way down to your heart, all belong to someone else?)

(When it comes to nature vs nurture what of you came from your environment and your experiences, and what of you was already programmed into you from the DNA that made you?)

(What do you do to make it unique? What do you do to make you unique?)

And if I could remember who made that post I'd @ them right now because it was their original post that inspired this, but I'm just thinking of if the au only had One Singular Damian clone that fell into Danny's life.

(a read more because im apparently incapable of making posts that are less than 1k words...)

One Damian who knew he was a clone and knew that he was to either bring the original back to base or kill him to take his place, who was being trained the same way but kept getting compared to his original over and over again. Like an older sibling who you can never match up to. Who is still a child who craves adult affection and validation and praise, and can't get it because nothing about him is original.

One Damian who, at six years old, in a twist of fate is sucked through a swirling portal and lands in Amity Park, directly on top of, in front of, or in line of sight of one Daniel Fenton, half-ghost extraordinaire and local hero.

What happens next?

Well, for one, Danny recognizes him immediately. He would recognize the face of Damian Wayne anywhere because his best friend was ranting about him all week about Damian Wayne's environmental stuff he does.

And for two, he would recognize that the Damian Wayne in front of him was not Damian Wayne. Because Damian Wayne was a teenager. And the Damian Wayne in front of him is a child. Six years old.

Getting this not-Damian but also-Damian to go along with Danny is not, not an easy task. The tiny Damian is aggressive, regal, and at this point in time, six years old, barely understanding english. He also has a sword.

It takes all day and a google translator to get this Tiny Damian to finally agree to go home with Danny. It's a miracle. Seriously. A tried and true miracle. And its also only when Danny has to fight a ghost does he finally agree, saying something in arabic that Danny doesn't understand.

Danny flies them both home, carrying Tiny Damian like a koala. The ensuing conversation in his room is not any better. It is tiring, long, and exhausting. Tiny Damian is six years old, and every single thing he says when Danny asks where he came from is met with a poorly translated "that's classified".

Danny keeps an eye on the news. There are no reports of Damian Wayne going missing, in fact he's been rather public. Bruce Wayne is not one to lie about his children going missing, and Damian's secretive behavior and young age draws Danny to one conclusion: Damian is a clone.

He doesn't know why Damian Wayne is being cloned. Frankly he doesn't really wanna know, because whatever organization that did it doesn't seem too pure-of-heart if tiny-Damian's immediate attempt of murder when they first met is of any indication. But he's too busy taking care of his city, that he doesn't have time to deal with whatever shady business Tiny-Damian was produced from.

In the end though, he decides that this Tiny-Damian is not going back to whatever place he came from. Tiny Damian disagrees. It is a long, nebulous problem of Damian trying to run away, Danny catching him, and Danny pulling him back home.

In that time, Danny downloads a language app and starts learning Arabic so that they can talk to each other properly. Damian slowly, slowly, starts picking up English.

In that time, Danny also has to inform his friends and his sister about Damian. Tiny Damian is not a fan of this. That is another argument they have. Tiny Damian does not like Sam or Tucker for a long, long while. He only really "listens" to Danny, citing something in arabic that Danny still cannot understand, but has a repeated use of the word "lieazir". It's the only word that Danny can catch in a sentence immediately, because its what little Damian calls Danny.

Tiny Damian, in that front, is very interested in Danny's powers and in his parents work. He finds tubberware of ectoplasm in the fridge once while they're down in the kitchen and calls it something with the word lieazir in it. The other word is something that Danny later learns means water in arabic.

It makes him feel even more uneasy of whatever place little Damian came from.

It takes weeks for little Damian to finally give up on escaping, and then a few weeks more for him to almost entirely lose his spunk. Danny isn't sure what started it. It was as if he'd been flipped with an off-switch.

(Damian had been so confident that the League would go looking for him after his disappearance. He was wrong, and he is crushed. He is still a child, alone, in a country very big and very busy, where nobody understands what he's saying. He feels powerless, helpless.)

(The lazarus boy who calls himself Danyal is nice to him in a way the league has never been, and he's making an effort to learn Damian's language. But he leaves for hours at a time and Damian doesn't have much else to do but wait in this house for him to come back.)

(He tried leaving, many many times, but he doesn't understand the street signs, the roads, the people. He doesn't know where he is, and he feels scared in a way that he's not felt in the League. Danny finds him every single time, hours later when Damian is lost somewhere in Amity Park)

(And he never yells at him. Never. The first time this happens, Damian puffs himself up and prepares himself for this strange lazarus boy to yell at him. Damian feels like he's tripped on the last step of the stairs when Danyal doesn't yell at him.)

(He can tell he's frustrated by the tone of his voice, but when Danyal lays eyes on him he just looks relieved. He gets scolded on the flight home, but Damian doesn't understand any of it other than Danyal just sounds worried. Not angry. He gets a proper scolding once they get back, with Danyal typing into the google translator and playing it for Damian to hear.)

(This happens every single time until Damian finally agrees to stop running away.)

It's with Jazz's help that Danny finally realizes that Damian was depressed. It's with her help again that Danny tries helping with it. It's like trying to get a stray cat to trust him. And with everything else they've done, it takes a long time.

And it is so, so worth it when it all works out.

Tiny Damian doesn't really like Sam, or Tucker, but he likes Danny. And he finally starts calling him his name. His full name, but his name nonetheless. Danny doesn't bother correcting him. He's not looking a gift horse in the mouth. And it's endearing hearing Damian call him Danyal.

Damian in this time, also begins to take more initiative into learning English. And they teach each other words they know. Danny buys flash cards and writes the english alphabet on them, and then finds a book on arabic to teach himself and Damian. Sam and Tucker and Jazz start learning as well.

And then when Danny knows enough arabic and Damian knows enough english, and Damian trusts Danny, Damian tells him he's a clone. It's a quiet moment, late at night when Danny takes Damian up to the ops center to look at what stars they could see through the light pollution.

It'd be very easy for Danny to tell him, "I know. I could tell from the start.". He doesn't, it's not the time nor the place, and Danny's matured enough to know when to open his mouth and when to keep it shut. He lets Damian, almost seven now, tell him that he's a clone of Damian Wayne. Lets him tell him why he was made, what his purpose was.

(Danny will need a minute later to process the fact that Damian Wayne originally came from some kind of... assassin league with an obsession with immortality. But he's focused on Damian.)

In the end, he puts an arm around Damian Wayne's clone and pulls him into his side. Thanks him for trusting him, it must've been hard to tell him, that he's brave for being able to. And if he wants to, they can find a way to get into contact with the Waynes and let Wayne know about him.

Damian hides his face in Danny's ribs and holds him tight, and tells him he doesn't want to. Danny leaves it at that.

Perhaps it would be more morally ethical to alert Damian Wayne that there was a clone of him running around, that his... uh, grandfather was making clones of him. Hell, Danny would have liked it. But little Damian has asked him not to say anything, and little Damian needs someone to rely on; someone he can trust.

And in the end, its not that hard of a decision to make. Danny knows little Damian more than he knows Damian Wayne, and while Danny likes to think he's a good person, he knows he's not a great one. Nor a perfect one. He cares more about someone he knows than someone he doesn't.

If Sam tries to argue with him about it, then Danny will just double down. If Damian doesn't want to tell Wayne about his existence, then it's not their place to say otherwise.

There's a lot more to talk about over Damian's cloning, like what he wants to do moving forward. But that's a long conversation not meant to be one taken late at night. Little Damian is falling asleep at his side, seemingly much more relaxed than he did before, and Danny wasn't gonna ruin that.

And later he's right, it is a long conversation, and a slow one. Talking with Jazz about it helps him figure out what to do moving forward, and their best bet is to let Damian figure out what he wants to do. So he sits Damian down at the dinner table the next morning and tells him before breakfast that he doesn't need to be Damian Wayne.

He doesn't need to learn all the same things Damian Wayne did. He doesn't need to do anything that Damian Wayne does. And little Damian is seven, and he's smart, but Danny still has to word it in a way that's not too complex for him to realize.

And in the end, what he says essentially boils down to "You are not Damian Wayne, you are just you. Don't be anyone else but you." and it'll take more time to drill that into his mind when all he's ever heard and learned from is that he was a copy of Damian Wayne, and he must act like Damian Wayne. But it'll happen.

It's a hard task when Danny's the only person Damian really trusts and he can't be by his side all the time, but he starts to warm up to the rest of Danny's family. The Fenton parents know of him, it's hard to keep a six year old child a secret for as long as Danny did without eventually having to come clean about it. His parents, much to Danny's relief, are very welcoming to Damian.

Damian figures out what he likes. Slowly. He's six years old, almost seven, and nobody expects of him to figure out who he is immediately. No child knows who they are right off the bat. So like any child he begins to explore. His english is better but still rough, and he struggles to read said language, but the Fenton family are happy to help even if Damian learns words that no normal seven year old does. (Many of them scientific.)

Damian realizes he likes stars, even if said interest is influenced by the association to Danny. Danny is all too delighted to tell him all about them, and in the process takes him flying out somewhere where the light pollution doesn't reach and showing him where constellations are.

Damian is six-almost-seven, so he doesn't find all of them, but Danny helps him figure out the easier ones. He tells him the scientific facts behind them, and then tells him about the mythos of the constellations. Later on they make their own constellations and make up stories about what they are.

(Damian adores Danny out of anyone else in the Fenton Family. The name Danyal turns to Dany. If anyone asks, Daniel Fenton is Damian's big brother.)

(He still refers to Jazz as Jazmine, and Danny's parents as Mrs. and Mr. Fenton.)

He realizes that, like his original, he loves animals, and he becomes vegetarian too. Sam is smug and Tucker is disappointed, but Damian doesn't super care about their opinions. ...he's getting better at liking them, even if he thinks Manson is a bit snobby and Foley is too much at times.

Its inevitable that the conversation of school comes into play. Damian can't stay home all day and he needs proper schooling. So after a long talk with Damian, they agree to send him to elementary school.

...And before they can do that the Fenton Family goes through with legally adopting Damian into the family as Damian Fenton. It takes convincing to get the administration to enroll him into the first grade without a proper schooling background.

(On his adoption form, Damian asks to change his birthday to the day he met Danny. Perhaps its not the most responsible thing to agree to, but Danny wants Damian to find himself. And its not like they know when his actual birthday was.)

And despite where he learned it from, Damian quite likes sparring. And he quite likes sparring with Danny in particular. Danny makes it fun, something that was foreign in his old league training, and Danny never hurts him. It's a lot like roughhousing.

Danny tells Damian how he got his powers, and how his parents don't know. Damian wakes up late at night to Danny sneaking out of the room (their house is not big enough to give Damian an individual room, and Danny agreed to share his) to go fight ghosts.

It's upsetting. Damian knows that Danny gets injured in those fights, even if Danny never comes home until after those injuries have been fixed up. He wants to help, and he voices it, and Danny shoots him down.

It becomes an argument, something that has happened less and less over the months.

Damian is experienced.

Damian is a child.

Damian knows how to fight.

Damian is mortal and fragile. He is a tiny, squishy human boy and the people Danny fights are ghosts who are near-indestructible. Who are intimately acquainted with death but also do not remember that humans are capable of it. Especially when they're fighting.

Damian says that Batman's rogues are capable of the same thing, that he lets his Robins help him fight.

And Danny says he is not Batman and he will not allow Damian to fight ghosts with him. Those ghosts will kill him and it will hurt. Dying hurts in a way that is terrifying and unimaginable and he will not risk Damian experiencing it. Not even Sam and Tucker help him in his fights most of the time, they are not able to. Not in the way Danny can.

Damian doesn't talk to him all day the following morning, but Danny does not budge on his decision. Damian tries to follow him out the next night, and Danny catches him and takes him back. Over, and over, and over again.

Until finally he gets intercepted by Skulker while taking Damian back home and is forced to fight him in front of Damian. (If it had been his choice, he would not have let Damian see it at all.)

It's not pretty. Skulker has new weapons, weapons that hurt, a lot. Danny is stuck between trying to take him down and trying to protect Damian from Skulker's attacks at him and from all the debris being created from the fight. It's with Damian's quick thinking and fast feet that finally helps Danny take Skulker out. But Danny is badly injured in the aftermath.

He doesn't have time to take Damian home and get medical attention. So he takes Damian with him to wherever he has his supplies stashed. He doesn't call Sam or Tucker or Jazz, and has to stitch himself up alone, with Damian watching.

Damian is quiet the entire time, he feels awful. Danny's not mad at him -- well, he is. But not because he had to protect him. He's just tired, and a little disappointed in him. Damian doesn't sneak out again. But he still feels helpless.

Danny tells him that that is why he doesn't want Damian to help him. Ghosts, his ghosts, are hard to fight. They are powerful, and his 'rogues' are mean. They will not care that Damian is a mortal child, if he picks a fight with them, they will fight back. And Damian is not immune to certain ghost powers like Danny is.

Damian is silent. He wants to help. But Danny is right: he is a squishy, mortal, living child. There is not much he can do to help Danny. Not without any gear to do it. Not without any powers to do it. He wants to help. He cannot.

Damian, almost-seven-years old, begins to cry. It is the last thing Danny was expecting, and for a moment he is at a loss of what to do.

Damian reaches for him -- in the Fenton family, physical affection is expected. Damian is getting used to it, but Danny is the only one he likes touching him -- and then stops, cringing away like he only just remembered that Danny was hurt.

He only cries harder.

Danny meets him halfway and pulls him into his arms, situating Damian between his knees from where he's sitting. Through his tears, Damian says he wants to help. He wants to help. He doesn't want Danny to get hurt anymore. He doesn't want Danny to fight ghosts alone anymore. He's scared that Danny will stop coming back.

Danny doesn't have anything to say to reassure him. Can't say anything to reassure him. It'll all just be lies. He's not going to stop fighting ghosts, he can't. He's not going to stop getting hurt, he can't. He's not going to bring Damian with him, he can't. He'd never be able to live with himself.

"I'll always come back." He says though, because that is something he can promise. Whether dead or alive, he'll come back.

When the tears finally stop, Damian doesn't say anything again. He sniffles, and presses his ear to Danny's chest, listening to the steady, slow heartbeat. If he puts his ear to his sternum and strains his ear, Damian would almost hear the low hum of Danny's ghost core, like a small dwarf sun.

"If you die, I'll drag you to the Lazarus pools myself." Damian mumbles eventually, his voice sleep-full. It's spoken in arabic, and Danny only understands half of it.

He laughs quietly, and smoothes his hand over Damian's hair. He hasn't had a haircut since he arrived, it's gotten long and there are curls beginning to form. "Okay."

Damian falls asleep shortly after, and with much consideration to his own injuries and Damian's sleeping form, Danny flies them back home.

It's hard to say, but not much changes in routine afterwards. Damian hovers close to Danny, more than usual. Danny still goes out at night, he still stitches himself up before going back, he still goes back home where Damian is waiting worriedly for him. Damian doesn't like falling asleep without knowing Danny is there.

Now the hard question is: when does little Damian finally meet the Waynes for the first time? There's plenty of ways to go about it, both easy and hard. Perhaps we go this way:

The Fenton family are visiting Maddie's sister in Arkansas. And Damian is dragging Danny around through the surrounding forest. It's his first time being in a forest this large since he moved in with the Fentons. Safe to say he is delighted by all of the nature, and he's dragging Danny along with him.

Danny likes the peace and quiet it gives him, he's found that he enjoys the rural area more than he likes the city. He's happy to let Damian point out every plant he recognizes, even if some of it is in arabic.

They walk around all day until Damian gets tired, and then at night when the sky is clear Danny and him go look at the stars. It's peaceful at first.

On the third day of their visit, Damian drags Danny out far from the house. It's slightly worrying, but Danny can always fly them back if it gets too late.

It's in the woods that Danny and Damian stray much too far from Alicia's house, and from there in the early evening that they run into Batman and Red Robin, both of them in rough 'just got out of a fight' shape.

Safe to say, it was the last thing any of them expected to run into. Damian and Danny had stopped at a small crik to rest, and the two vigilantes came through the tree line on the other side.

It was... quite the staring contest.

Damian, now seven years old at this point, forgot to mention that the Waynes were vigilantes when he told Danny he was a clone. But he was told that Batman was his original's father.

Before anyone can say anything, little Damian wraps his arms tight around Danny's middle and stares Batman and Red Robin down. His sharp edges have softened around the Fentons. But he makes no exceptions to anyone else outside of Danny's immediate social circle.

Danny's arm automatically goes around Damian's shoulders, and he looks between both Red and Batman uneasily. If they were here then it meant that there was something unsafe nearby. Danny did not fight the living, and he wasn't going to put Damian in the crosshairs of anything that does.

"Should... should we leave?" He asks, brows knotted together with a frown. He stands. "Is there something going on nearby?"

Batman suddenly grunts, and looks at him. "It's been handled." He says, and his voice is gruffer than Danny imagined it. Lower. Danny is not all that comfortable with that answer.

"Do you guys live nearby?" Red Robin asks, and Danny can't help but notice that he keeps looking at Damian. Warily. In fact, so is Batman.

He pushes Damian behind him slightly, and Damian's grip tightens on him. "Not... exactly." He says, his eyes narrowing slightly. "My family's visiting my Aunt and my brother wanted to explore since it's his first time out of the city, I guess we wandered too far away if we're running into you."

There's no visible indication of whether or not both Bats reacted to him calling Damian his brother. But he can all but feel little Damian preen at the title, it makes Danny's mouth twitch into a smile as his hand finds Damian's hair.

"Would we be able to go back with you?" Red Robin asks, startling both Danny and seemingly Batman, who looks at him instantly.

"Red Robin." He growls out, and Red Robin throws Batman a look of annoyance.

"We are lost, B. They jammed the comms and our trackers back there and it hasn't come back on yet, his aunt may have the signal we need to let the others know where we are."

They end up walking back with Danny and Damian. It's silent, and awkward, and Danny has Damian walking on his opposite side so he's not near the vigilantes. Red Robin is fiddling with a phone but still can't get a signal.

Batman is silently brooding.

Red eventually gives up and shoves the phone into a pocket on his belt, then turns to make conversation with Danny. "I never thanked you for letting us walk with you. Thanks, by the way."

Danny blinks at him, and smiles awkwardly. "No problem, man," he says, "I'm uh, Danny." He glances down at Damian, who looks up at him with big green eyes, and Damian nods quietly.

He looks back at Red Robin, and says, "This is my little brother, Damian." And Damian peers over his side and glares at Red Robin -- and Batman, who looks over when Danny says his name.

"He looks like Damian Wayne," Red Robin notes, head tilting like he's inspecting him.

Danny huffs dryly, "We get that a lot."

Red Robin smiles at him, its a tilted thing. It makes Danny uneasy. "Where did you say you were from?"

"I didn't," Danny says bluntly, and he really doesn't want to tell them where he's from. Not when Red Robin was acting strange, but they're vigilantes and notorious for their detective skills. If he's suspicious, they'll look into him. "But I'm from Amity Park."

Damian in that moment, peers around Danny again and scowls at Red Robin. Full on scowls at him, as if it were the first months when he met Danny. "You're being nosy." He sneers, his hand squeezing Danny's.

"Damian," Danny hisses, suppressing a smile. Damian jumps like he's been startled, and looks up at him with big green eyes. "He's just being curious."

(He lets his smile slip through briefly, just to let Damian know he's not that upset. A tension leaves his little brother's shoulders.)

"But he is." Damian continues, a whine leaking into his voice. Danny jabs him in the ribs with his fingers, and Damian jumps, swatting away his hand with a squeak.

"Would you rather have us walk in dead silence, Dames?" He goes for Damian's ribs again, a grin stretching across his face as Damian jumps back again and swats his hand. "Hm? Hm? We could just walk in awkward silence for the entire trip back, I know you just love awkward silence, little brother."

(It's funny, saying little brother always sounds so uncomfortable when he reads it in books and watches it on tv. But Jazz always makes it sound so natural when she does it, and Danny finds that he sounds the same too.)

Damian continues to bat away his hands, but it's not enough to prevent him from squealing with laughter when Danny gets a good hold on him and starts tickling him. Danny's grin only gets bigger, and he swoops Damian up with his arm and holds him like a football.

"Is that it? Huh? Me, you, and two vigilantes walking back to Aunt Alicia's cabin in complete, utter silence." He says, "You won't get to hear any of my amazing jokes."

Damian's wriggling, trying to pound on Danny's ribs, he's giggling uncontrollably. It's the best sound Danny's ever heard. "Your jokes are awful! Laeazir! Put me down!" He cries, grinning from ear to ear.

(From the side, both Red Robin and Batman tense up.)

Danny chuckles, and through a short series of flips, has Damian sitting on his shoulders. "I will not. You're sitting up in air jail for insulting my hilarious jokes."

Damian tugs on his hair in revenge, harrumphing at him but making no move to get down. Danny squeezes his ankles playfully, and looks back to Batman and Red Robin.

Both vigilantes look at him like he's grown a second head.

....Red Robin looks at him like he's grown a second head. Batman just stares, and then looks away. Danny tilts his head at them, his smile waning. "You guys look like you've seen a ghost or something."

(Damian tugs on his hair again. A silent boo at him.)

Red Robin jerks, "Oh, sorry." He says, not sounding all that sorry. "It's just... I've lost count to how many times I've saved Damian Wayne from the occasional kidnapping and he's always been very... serious. It's just weird seeing a kid that looks like him be... not serious."

From his shoulders he feels Damian hide his smile in his hair, that's another thing they can put on their "Things That Damian Does That Damian Wayne Does Not" list. It started as a joke, but it's been surprisingly helpful for when Damian is questioning himself.

However, Danny is not a fan of the comparison, and he smiles widely, perhaps a tad passive-aggressive. "It's a good thing that my Damian isn't Damian Wayne then." He says, giving him the slight stink eye.

Red Robin picks up on it quickly, and nods.

The rest of the way is spent in idle conversation. It's oddly casual, even if most of the conversation is Danny talking about himself. It's annoying, but he unfortunately understands the reason. Secret identities and all that.

Damian interjects a few times, some parts to talk to Danny, and other parts to throw shade at Batman and Red Robin. Mostly Red Robin, who seems begrudgingly used to it.

("I'm surprised you haven't asked me much about myself." Red Robin says at one point into the conversation. Over his shoulder Batman glares at Red Robin. "A lot of civilians do when they're able."

Danny stares at him. "You're a vigilante." He says, frowning, "Isn't it superhero 101 that you don't ask superheroes for their secret identity?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Huh. Well, no. I'm not gonna ask you about yourself. I quite like talking all about me.")

When they finally reach the cabin, it's late into the night and Danny has moved Damian from his shoulders to his front in a koala-like carry. Damian's fast asleep with his head on Danny's shoulder.

His family was also frantically searching for him, and Jazz sees him first. She immediately turns behind her and yells "I FOUND HIM!". And then sprints over to him, his parents thundering not too far behind.

Both vigilantes are subsequently ignored as Jazz dotes over him and Danny, and soon enough so is his mom and dad. They're all talking all at once, asking him where he was, they were worried sick, did he know how late it was.

He shushes all of them, loudly. And whispers that Damian is sleeping. His family then immediately quiet themselves, and go back to yelling at him in a more appropriate manner.

"Me and Damian walked too far by accident." Danny finally says when he can get a word in, and then he jabs his thumb in Red Robin and Batman's direction. "We also found two superheroes who need assistance."

The speed of which his family all snap their heads over to the direction he's pointing is almost comical. As is all of their expressions of shock.

His mother is the first to regain her senses, and she sighs at him. She sighs! "Only you, Danny." She says, and Jazz snorts into her arm.

[praisetheaxolotl]

The Arsonist Theory, Part 1: Mandibles!

Eight years ago, a few weeks shy of the day itself, I wrote something called The Arsonist Theory. It was my last theory post before making this blog, and looking back, it was disorganized, and I could have presented it better.

So, with new evidence, I'm doing just that.

The core of the theory is this: You don't blame the arson itself for a fire. You blame the arsonist that set the fire in the first place. There is a secret third piece of the puzzle here- not the act of arson, not the fire itself, but something more.

Therefore, consider this: Bill was not the sole perpetrator of the Euclidean Massacre. Rather, he was a weapon used to commit it.

Like the original, this will be a four-part theory, just to make it more digestible. I'll refer back to the original on occasion, but most of it will be new information.

Oh, and-

MAJOR, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK OF BILL UNDER THE CUT. THIS INCLUDES THE TEXT ITSELF AND SOLUTIONS TO CIPHERS.

With that out of the way, let's go.

In another post, I mentioned that the specific wording of "Saw his own dimension burn" having a very passive connotation to it, plus parts of the glitched page, shown here- make it incredibly likely, if not certain, that the massacre was an accident on Bill's part.

Bill's main intention was to show everyone what he had seen all along-- show them that he wasn't crazy. But that's not what happened.

Also, just as an aside- part three of the original theory has some examples of exact wording being a thing to pay attention to in matters surrounding Bill. It mostly concerns his deals with others, but in a Doylist sense, it tells us: exact wording is important with this character, so pay attention.

But let's put a pin in that for a second.

On the page teaching us how to trick everyone into loving us, there's a portion about conversation topics:

The cipher in the candy heart says "LIES," by the way, and it's the only cipher on the page- immediately setting this portion apart from all the others. Bill says here that one conversation topic on a date-- while meeting someone-- is the very specific term, "mandibles."

Say, where have I seen that recently?

Huh... that's interesting! What a specific word to come up twice, in these specific contexts! Remember what I said about exact wording? Sure you do, you have a very good memory, I admire that about you!

But that's not everything I noticed.

All that glitching? You can actually see text peeking out at certain points. And what does that text say?

"Nice to meet ya!"

Over and over and over again.

There's nothing else in my mind that can make this make sense to me. There was someone else there. He met up with someone.

But that's not all- I still have three more posts of evidence to write.

Check back here for links to them- they should all come out within the next day or two, and I'm gunning for all of it to be out before the countdown on thisisnotawebsitedotcom hits zero.

Part 2: We get it, the billboard is a metaphor

Part 3: Journey To The Vicious Spiral Nebula

Part 4: Blame The Arson, Not The Fire

[lucy90712]

Hey so for Jude Bellingham can you write like Jude cheating on reader, he is very distant with her and she tries to make plans or asks him things like how has ur day been but he either just gives her blunt replies or just completely ignores her. Reader finds out he cheated on her via his phone and she confronts him and she admits it. Then reader leaves him and moves on with someone else (not a footballer just someone random) and Jude regrets what he has done but it is too late. Like pure angst and please make it long! Thank you!

A/n: the timeline on this doesn’t really work but just ignore that

Part 2

Sitting in a restaurant alone waiting for someone to show up is embarrassing. It's even more embarrassing when people know who your boyfriend is and are very clearly judging you and thinking about what might be going on in your personal life. Then the most embarrassing part of it all is having to leave after sitting there for an hour. 

No text no call and no answer. After getting home from the restaurant I stayed up for as long as possible to try and wait for Jude to come home so I could ask him why he didn't show up to the date he planned and invited me on but by 3am he still wasn't home. The next morning he wasn't in bed but he had clearly been home and then left for training but he still hadn't even read the texts I sent him last night. He did post on his Instagram story which explained where he was, he was at a party with all of his friends. I'd love to say that's the first time he's done this but it isn't in fact he's done it countless times in the last few months. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Valentine's Day

Two hours ago I got ready in a cute dress and did my makeup ready to go out to dinner with Jude. He's been so busy recently so we haven't spent much time together but he promised me we'd spend Valentine's Day together, he got us a reservation at my favourite restaurant and told me to dress up. That's exactly what I did now I'm sat here still waiting for him to get home two hours after when he said he'd be home. 

It hurts to be left just waiting I was looking forward to tonight and getting to spend some time together as I've missed having him around. He made this move to Madrid out to be the best thing for us but ever since things just haven't been the same. He's always busy and when he's not he chooses to spend time with his teammates instead which I understand but at the same time he's neglecting me and our relationship. I tried to bring this up but he shut me down and promised to spend more time with me which is how we ended up with this date but clearly it's not that important to him. 

Close to 3 hours later Jude finally came home and looked at me incredibly confused when he saw me all dressed up. 

"Where are you going?" He asked 

"On a date with you remember you said we would go out for dinner because it's Valentine's Day" I said 

"I'm so sorry baby I completely forgot this week has been crazy I promise I'll make it up to you another day but I'm so tired is a movie night instead ok" he said 

"Yeah its ok" I lied 

Birthday 

As always I woke up to an empty bed and Jude having left for training. Today isn't any normal day though it's my birthday so all my friends are coming over and we are going to go out for lunch together then hopefully Jude and I can do something together this evening even if it's just watching something together on the sofa. When I grabbed my phone from my bedside table I had loads of messages from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday and my social media was filled with edits done by Jude's fans which were all so sweet. The only notable missing thing was a text from Jude but that's ok he might've been running late and forgot. 

I forgot about Jude as soon as my friends arrived as they all spoiled me far too much but I had so much fun with them. It was nice to be distracted from real life and stop worrying about when Jude will be home, if he will remember it's my birthday or if he still cares about me at all. Once I got back home Jude's car was already in the driveway so I smiled and happily made my way inside to see him. I wasn't expecting Vini and Eduardo to be over but there they were sat on the sofa playing video games with Jude. 

"Hey y/n happy birthday" Vini said 

"I didn't realise it was your birthday Jude didn't mention it but happy birthday" Eduardo said 

"Thanks guys" I said 

"Where have you been babe?" Jude asked still not saying happy birthday 

"I was with my friends they took me to lunch" I said 

"That sounds fun" Jude said going right back to his game 

His friends tried to leave saying he should spend time with me but he said it was fine and that I wouldn't mind so they stayed. While they all sat down stairs having more fun than I was I did some work with tears streaming down my face. My own boyfriend doesn't care about my birthday his teammates cared more than he did. 

Anniversary 

"Happy anniversary love" I said when I found Jude in the kitchen this morning 

"Happy anniversary" he said 

I tried to give him a kiss but he dodged it and went to start packing his things as he has an away game later today so he's leaving soon. 

"I'm sorry baby I've got to go I'll see you later though" he said as he left leaving me all alone yet again 

~~~~~~~~~~

Today is a day I always like to forget. Both of my parents died in a car accident two years ago today so it's always an emotional day for me and my siblings, we would like to spend it together to distract ourselves but as I'm in Madrid we can't do that. Instead my friends invited themselves over so that I'd have someone with me which made me feel so much better. They came over early so early that Jude was still here as he hadn't left for training yet. He was doing his own thing as the girls all sat with me and let me get out all my emotions now by telling them memories I have with my parents. 

"You know they'd be so proud of you" one of my friends said 

"I just wish they were here to see all the things me and my siblings have done all thanks to their constant encouragement" I sniffled tears still falling down my face 

"Why are you crying babe?" Jude asked as he walked down the stairs 

"Just thinking about my parents it's the anniversary of their death so I'm just a bit emotional" I said 

"I'm glad the girls are here to make you feel better then I'll see you later ok" he said 

With that he left and my friends all looked at me with an expression I didn't quite understand.

"How long has he been like that?" My best friend asked 

"Like what" I questioned 

"Like you don't matter he didn't even hug you before he left even after you told him why you were upset which he should know anyway dates like this are important for partners to remember" she said 

"I mean it's been a good few months he missed our Valentine's Day dinner he didn't wish me a happy birthday until like 5pm and we didn't do anything on our anniversary" I said finally thinking about how badly he's been treating me

"Girl he doesn't deserve you he's taking you for granted and you don't deserve that" one of the girls said 

"I hate to say this but you need to break up with him clearly he's given up on your relationship and now I might be wrong but wrong but it seems to me like he's found someone else" another said

They were right for months now I've been at the bottom of his priority list and he's nowhere near the Jude I used to know and love. There is no affection there anymore it's like the love we once had is gone. He also has definitely been distant and he's never home so there is a possibility that he could be cheating on me. That's a thought that I'd put in the back of my mind and didn't want to think about but now that someone else that has mentioned it I can't let the thought go. Whether he's cheating or not things definitely aren't how they used to be and I need to get out of this relationship before it's too late. The girls all offered their support and said I can stay with them for as long as I need which gave me the confidence to actually talk to Jude later today. 

When Jude arrived home all the girls left and they wished me good luck which I definitely need as I'm nervous to actually have this conversation even though it needs to be done. Jude went straight to get in the shower so I decided to look at his phone because he told me the password but I have never used it as I trusted him at least until now. It took just seconds of looking for me to find texts between him and this one girl who he had clearly been seeing for months now. He kept saying he would break up with me but the time wasn't right yet and that he wasn't in love with me anymore which hurt to see. I wanted to cry but I held back my tears and instead just sent myself screenshots of everything and then deleted the evidence so he wouldn't know that I knew. 

After his shower Jude took ages to come back downstairs but when he finally did he was looking at his phone and smiling it made me wonder if he was talking to her the girl he'd apparently fallen for. He quickly noticed me staring at him and he just stared back not having a clue what was going on. 

"Jude we need to talk" I said 

"Oh ok is everything alright?" He asked 

"I'm just gong to say it I know what you've been doing and don't lie to me I have screenshots I just want to know when you fell out of love and why you did this instead of just ending things" I said barely holding back tears 

"I don't know it all just happened I'm sorry I should've handled this better I didn't want to hurt you but clearly I haven't done a good job of that" he said 

"Yeah you really have hurt me I should've known when you forgot about our valentines reservations but I was foolish and believed that you were just busy now I know you were with another girl" I said 

"I'm sorry" he said 

"I don't believe you Jude if you were sorry you wouldn't have let this go on for so long it's safe to say we are over I wish you well but please don't try and contact me again I need to just move on" I said 

With that I gathered my things and just left. I left my key, the memories and what felt like half my heart but it had to be done I had to get out of there before I got hurt any more. It's time to move on and start a new life with people around me who truly care about me. 

~~~~~~~~~~

1 year later 

"Come on amor let's go" Carlos called from downstairs 

"Coming" I said running down the stairs 

"Oh wow you look gorgeous" Carlos said 

"Thank you you look good too" I said 

He kissed my cheek and grabbed my hand so we could head out to the car that was outside to pick us up. Just a few days ago Carlos won the French open so we are going out to celebrate. I met Carlos not long after I broke up with Jude I wasn't even looking to date but I just happened to meet him on a night out with my friends and we just clicked. He understood that I wasn't ready to date properly but he didn't give up on me so when I was ready we went on a date and the rest is history. My plan definitely wasn't to date another athlete in fact I wanted to just have a normal life and date a normal guy but I couldn't just let Carlos go and I'm glad I didn't. We have been together officially for 6 months now and they have been the best 6 months of my life he always treats me right and he makes it known how much he loves me. 

Carlos has a lot of friends in Madrid so he decided to come here and celebrate his win with me and my friends as well as his before he goes back home to be with his family. There wasn't really any time to prepare anything so we are all just meeting at a club in town that isn't just open to the public so there shouldn't be lots of people there. All our friends were already there when we arrived as we got caught in a bit of traffic but they didn't seem to mind our lateness they congratulated Carlos on his win and we all went inside. 

As we walked down the stairs all my friends turned to me at once and I wondered what was going on for a second until I saw what they had seen. Jude was right there along with a few of his teammates. I haven't seen him since our breakup which is somewhat of a miracle seeing as I still live and work in Madrid and he has become part of the city. I knew one day we'd meet again I was just hoping it wouldn't be in a day like today I don't want to be thinking about him or to talk to him while celebrating Carlos as tonight shouldn't be about me or my past relationship. Carlos knows everything that happened so once he saw Jude his hand reached for mine and he gave it a comforting squeeze which made me feel a little bit better. The thing is I don't miss Jude at all I'm so much happier now but what he did still hurts me so seeing him for the first time since is a bit painful. 

"We can go somewhere else if you want" Carlos said 

"No it's ok tonight is your night plus he shouldn't affect my life now that's the past you are my present and future" I said 

"Ok as long as you're sure but you are sticking by my side all night" he said 

Jude's POV

"Is that y/n?" Vini asked 

Him saying that caught my attention so I looked in the same direction as him and there she was with all her friends and a guy by her side. I recognised the guy as Carlos Alcaraz the tennis player who just won the French open and a the guy y/n has been dating for at least the last few months. I found that out when late at night after we lost a big game I stalked her Instagram and saw a photo of them together on her private account that she forgot to remove me from. Since that night I have kept an eye on her Instagram I usually check it at least once a week to see what she's been doing and how happy she is without me. 

Since the night that she broke up with me I regretted making all the dumb choices I made that led to that point. Within days I broke things off with the other girl I was seeing and I have been alone ever since I just can't bring myself to see anyone else because they aren't y/n. It sounds stupid because I'm the one that ruined everything I'm the reason she's with Carlos and not me but she was the one I just didn't realise how much I loved her until she was gone. My mum has always told me not to take things for granted as once they are gone you'll realise their true value and that's exactly what I did with y/n I didn't realise just how important she was to me until I made some stupid decisions and let her go. 

I watched her with Carlos for a while and she seemed genuinely happy which made me realise that she hadn't been that happy with me for a long while before we broke up. It was clear to see that she loved him and I could tell that he loved her too because he looked at her the way I did when we first got together. It hurt to see her so happy with someone else because I know I could've had that but now I won't get to share any moment like that with her ever again. I deserve everything that has come to me I made bad choices and as much as I regret them now it won't change anything. 

I have to let her go because for her to be happy I need to not be in her life as much as that hurts. They say if you love her let her go and that's what I need to do let the one go because as much as she might've been the one for me I'm not the one for her. 

[space-station-nursery]

◜ ❗𓂃 Space Station Reports ‧ ❕ ◞

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DO NOT INTERACT WITH @KODASWRLD

now that that's out of the way, we will be discussing NSFW briefly in this post, please make sure you are reading when in a safe mindset. All moots will be tagged at the end for further reach, i apologize to anyone i ping who does not like to be pinged[/g] however this is a serious topic to me and i want this to reach as far as possible

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Beforehand:

Hello kiddos, this is a more in-depth report from the one we made [here] about the up and growing agere creator Kodaswrld. I found their[i cant remember their pronouns rn] blog a few months ago, and absolutely fell in love. I loved their dividers, their text posts, and all the freestyling on their blog!

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September:

On september 10th, 2024, we created a post called "Agere Backpack ideas"! The next day [Sep 11th, 24], while scrolling through a creator i also thoroughly enjoy, i saw a post they had reblogged.... It was our backpack ideas, but it wasnt written by me... in fact, it was re-uploaded by someone who i thought created interesting content. I commented under the original post to take it down as we did not consent to our work getting re-uploaded. They deleted our comment. A few days later after fd calmed me from my panic attack, we sent an ask to take down our post as we did not consent to our content being reposted. At the start of our blog, i did have "do not rewrite" on our blog, however because nothing ever happened, i took it away when we changed into the space station nursery. They deleted our ask. a week or more later [unfortunately i dont remember at this point anymore] They closed asks under the guise of "getting hate"

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Current:

After everything happened, fd scoured around to create a blacklist. At this time, i had finally calmed down, and was ready to blacklist. Before we got to it tho, i saw a post created by another agere creator in which Koda had stolen from. This creator asks that all followers or people interacting report if their content was being reposted, as koda had taken one of their posts, and it got SIGNIFICANTLY more notes, as well as Koda copying their DNI banner, just changing the font and small images on the side:

Original post that Koda stole, at the time, post had at max 200 notes, minimum 150. OP name and pfp covered for privacy

Copied post made by Koda. Notice the amount of notes it has [if you check] 740 notes

---

This is not the only instance of this happening with Koda, and no "but they add credits" is not a viable defense here. We did not tell them they could do this, and they did not ask, by the looks of all posts, they didnt ask ANYONE to use their posts. The little credits at the bottom is also hard to see, especially by those who are visually impaired. I had an almost blind friend check out their post, and that friend couldnt even see the credits without us zooming in and circling it for the friend to see. Thats a problem. And people who see it but dont think much of it [like me] will not click the credits. I didnt. and i apologize to those whom i contributed to as apart of the problem

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So what else needs to be discussed?

Well, before we get to the NSFW they interact with, lets go with the tracing and stealing. Thank you to the person that sent us this [will not name for the safey of the individual but they are free to comment and let you guys know! They sent a non anonymous ask but still, yknow?]

So-.... Proof?

This is a screenshot sent to us that shows a user by the name of @/b4bybear_ , crediting their BF and CG @/SEABUNE for creating an image we all know and love, and have MOST LIKELY SEEN amongst agere intros [all blue markings have been made by me]

As you can see in the second image, the user is written on the bottom, exactly how its written on the twitter post. This image is widely available, and many many individuals use it..... However, Koda didnt seem to care

As you can see, Koda NOT ONLY traced, changed a singular item, and erased the original creators credits, they then wrote their own name on the bottom and claimed this post as their own. And no, changing one thing on an art post while still tracing everything else is not "creating your own content" or "taking inspo" This is blatant copying. This is further than just stealing text posts, they are stealing

ART from other sources [nsfw below]

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And now, the NSFW....

Kodaswrld does have their following open, meaning that littles, middles, and anyone visiting their blog can see who they interact with. These are some of the blogs they currently follow, and content they post/reblog:

@/slvttyfied

@/firstladyofjuicycouture12

Whilst being 18+, there is nothing wrong with interacting and following NSFW content and blogs. However if you are running a blog with a minor following [not small amount of people, minors. people 17 and under] you should not have your follows seen if you are interacting with this kind of content. Minors are curious, and you are exposing them to things they do not yet need to see or know about. Especially when kinks/hard kinds are involved. I am 21 and fd is 22. We will NEVER, allow nsfw blogs or rebloggers to interact with our content

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Final thoughts:

Through our mini blacklist, we have found out that koda knows what they are doing, and are actively avoiding discussing it. We also learned that they ship real people [called rps or "real people shipping"], and for having almost 800 followers, do not deserve it. Please, spread this far and wide, show your friends, you moots, reblog it even if it doesnt fit your aesthetic. This person NEEDS to be stopped.

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Our moots: @oftlunarialmoon @nostalgic-woodwind , @zimswife , @deesblanketfort , @angel-bunnie @aprilsmabelmaple , @diaryofalittlestar , @h3ll0everybby1 , @xx-raines-space-kindergarten-xx [hi raaaaine]

[kaceythecrunch]

RANT. (sturntok.)

Yall. Im so mad. Sturntok pisses me the fuck off to the point it isn't even funny anymore. This might be messy, so bare with me.

Tara. Why the fuck is everyone pressed about Tara hanging out with the triplet, specifically matt and Chris. Yall are acting as if it was only two of them, like they're on a date. They were with fucking I don't know, 8 other people? Like why does Sturntok care who they hangout with? Did you not learn from elementary school to mind your bees wax, or business? You're probably 15. They're literally 5 years older than you. There is no way, in any universe they're gonna date you girl. ALSO TO SHIT ON TARA?? LIKE GIRL. FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SHIT ON CUZ HOMEGIRL DONT CARE. SHE DONT CARE. SHE IS STRIVING AND LIVING LIFE LIKE YOU SHOULD GIRL. Live life and don't care. You'll probably have a positive outcome. No cuz y'all know how Chris owns the Saturn necklace thing? Its vivienne underwood. It's less than 20 bucks on Amazon. Also when was the last time y'all saw Chris wearing that necklace girl. Also there's a post from like months, or I think a year ago of Tara wearing the same necklace. These fucking tiktok girls are so annoying. Like we get it, everyone wants to be Tara. (she's my gf.)

Podcast. I saw a bunch of btiches shit on the podcast. Like cmon. THEY ARE PRODUCING AN HOUR LONG VIDEO FOR YALL EVERY WEEK. Mfs are burnt out, you're lucky that they even produce content for you ungreatful hoes. Like lwk, I'd rather have them remove Wednesday videos. I remember when they first started their podcast that they were really excited to start and stuff. I also remember, I believe it was their earlier vlogs. When they were still living in Boston and they haven't like went to LA yet, they were talking about turning their basement into a podcast room. Like cmon. This is something they've been wanting to do and you hoes just don't appreciate anything. Like have y'all's mama's not been pissed at y'all for not appreciating her food. Live life positive and not negative tf. But ofc, I respect their decision.

Intro. Yall just love to shit on everyone. Ruining the party. Sturntok reminds me of the kids-the class "clowns" who would be so shitty to the teacher for no reason and would ruin fun things for everyone. Like guys, I think we should all as a community bully Sturntok. It requires a bit more bullying, just to knock some sense into their heads. Anyways, back to what I was ranting about. I loved their new intro. its a new era. A new them. Change. Is. Fucking. hard. I understand that you love the teens from Boston running around making fools of themselves. Me too, I shall admit it. But in order to get sponsorships, to get the little paring things. (For example, them sponsoring Celsius, even becoming the youtooz thing.) Like they gotta act more professional.

Change. This tied in with the last few things. CHANGE IS HARD. CHANGE IS A DIFFICULT THING. But how the fuck are you gonna live life, and enjoy life when your stuck on one thing forever. Change is needed for growth, and for learning. Like guys, THEYRE 20. I think that's something y'all forget. They aren't teenagers anymore. Its kinda like how when everyone went into middle school and started to not like kiddy things when you still liked kiddy things. When I was in middle school I still like to play with Legos, draw, watch anime. Until I hit 7th grade, aka everyone's downfall. I still enjoy some of those things today but I changed because people in middle school stopped like those things and its embarrassing (well for me at least) to show up in school with anime shirts cuz I'm getting older. Thats what they're feeling I guess. Again, theyre 20 now.

Crazy ass mfs. Crazy, as in them soft mf's on sturntok. Also what pisses me off more is that they're coming here on tumblr. Like no, I know your soft ass belongs on Wattpad bffr. I have a long rant about this one, so bare with me again. They are so so so so so SOOOOO sensitive about the "spicy edits." Sometimes the fucking video frame isn't even about something "spicy" aka- them being shirtless, video frame near their crotch. It was when there was a song about sex. How soft can you be. Most songs these days are about sex. Some songs y'all probably didn't know about was about sex. (cake by the ocean for example.) LIKE LETS ME FOR REAL. MOST SONGS ARE ABOUT SEX. Also with the tiktok audios being removed like cmon. Not everything is about sunshine and rainbows. I remember I commented on a Chris edit and I was like.

"I need this man in my life. He's so hot."

"you're fucking gross. He's a human being and do you know how grossed out he would be if he saw that you said this? (bullshitbullshit,morebullshitandstupidness.)"

Yeah, keeping fucking running your mouth. THIS TIKTOK HAS LIKE 4K VIEWS. DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING FOLLOWERS THE TRIPLETS HAVE? YEAH. THAT'S NOT EVEN A QUARTER OF WHAT THEY HAVE. THIS VIDEO HAS 1K COMMENTS. ARE THEY FUCKING HUNTING ME DOWN?? MY COMMENT HAS 3 LIKES. WHY WOULD THEY CARE TO FUCKING CHECK GIRL. ITS ALSO TELLING THE FUCKING PERSON WHO EDITED THIS THAT THIS EDIT WAS FIRE AND THAT THEY MADE THE EDIT HELLA GOOD. UR FUCKING LUCKY I KEPT MY ANGER TO MYSELF CUZ OH GIRL. I WOULD SUCKER PUNCH YOU. You know whats also funny? They're the same people who will be pissed with when they see matt or Chris with a female. Like girl. You're calling me fucking gross? Do you think how much more worse that is than my comment? You ruin friendships. OG sturniolo fans know that they've been friends with girls. If you genuinely care, yall would know that nick made most of matt and chris' friends. Meaning most of them were females. SO OBVIOUSLY THEYRE GONNA HAVE GIRL FRIENDS. I remember watching the Zach sang pod when nick was on and he explained that matt usually doesn't make the friends. Theres a joke where matt says "I'm gonna make a friend that wasn't originally nick's friends." smth like that. Anyways, off topic. Just because they are seen with a girl, doesn't mean they are fucking dating them. Like shut the fuck up. please. Respectfully shut the fuck because I'm a nice person. Also Chris gives off major virgin vibes lets bffr.

Madi. Yall hate so bad on Madi and its fucking grossing me out. Why do you have to ship her with matt and chris??? Literally to the point they can't even put her in photo dumps or videos. You just gotta ruin it for everyone, huh? shes fucking gorgeous, and she's so funny in videos. Plus, when she does talk shes hillarious. She literally reminds me of Matt. She doesn't fucking talk much because she is more of a listener.. Like guys bffr. How can you hate her when she barley spoke in videos. Like respectfully, shut the fuck up. Yall just jealous shes pretty.

Calling Nick fine. I also hate them mfs who are always running their mouth about girls calling Nick fine. Lets bffr. Y'all didn't think a gay guy is fine? I'm sure you've had a crush on one gay person before. And if you haven't trust me. You will. I had a crush on my gay friend in 8th grade. I feel like its a canon even in every girl's life. anyways, I hate when girls will be scared to call nick hot.

"Nick is so fine. But like as a cool guy friend way. Please don't attack me."

POOR GIRL BELIEVES SHE IS GONNA BE ATTACKED IF SHE CALLS A GAY MAN FINE. Sturntok leave her the fuck alone. He's hot as fucking and I will kill civilians if I'm not given more nick edits. He's so fine. Literally the hottest triplet.

If u made it here thanks. There was shit on my chest that I really needed to let out. What have we learned today?

Sturntok can suck my fucking dick.

Thanks goodbye.

Me to Sturntok :

[justsomegdude]

Pass the time.

Leader!Negan x Alexandria!Gn!Reader

summary: Negan visits alexandria for his weekly supply and decides to flirt with y/n to pass the time.

warning: Negan is a warning in himself, sexual tension!

A/N: Who knows i might make a part two to this. i wrote all of this today because i felt bad that i hadn’t posted since last month!

The weeks seem to just play on repeat when Negan comes to visit. He pesters Rick, Gets his men to get the supplies, Sometimes dealing with conflict depending on what happens in the day. As the familiar sounds of trucks come into earshot, Alexandria’s residents went silent and most went inside houses instantly, The kids rounded up by their parents and forced inside too.

You stopped caring about hiding from Negan weeks ago now, before anytime you saw his face you would remember the ones who you lost by his hands, rather by his ‘most precious lucille’s’ hands. Now? You don’t think about what you’ve lost by him, instead about what you could still lose. You’re close to Rick and his family since you’ve been in his group for years now. So you always make sure Carl and Judith aren’t in harms way.

The gates were opened by spencer, to allow Negan and his men to step foot inside. Familiar whistle ringing through your ears, you turn away to stay on the porch of the house you were gratefully allowed to stay in. If someone needed you, they’d come to find you. You watched Negans men start spreading out into a few groups going to the only places they really take from now, The pantry being the most common. Although it is rare for them to venture into the infirmary, weaponry, or houses, they’ll do it every so often.

Your eyes connected with Negans accidentally. You groan to yourself that he was most likely watching you for a minute before you noticed. Now you wish you’d just stay inside, hoping that he wouldn’t come up. Your prayer was answered and somehow, Negan didn’t come up to you. Instead he strutted over to the pantry along with Rick close but clearly at distance. Sometime you wonder how Negan took Rick by the balls and twisted him into submission.

He used to never be anything but the leader since you met him at the farm. When he was diffusing conflict, helping hershel, beth, maggie, even me. Or how he had killed Shane the night the barn was burned down.. He was always meant to be a leader, so how Negan took control of Rick, it was scary in a way.

You didn’t even realize you started day dreaming until you heard noises, loud noises, from over at the pantry. Instantly standing up to get a good view, Negan seemed to be upset at Olivia, that poor girl. A slow pace towards the pantry to see what’s happening.

“Why can’t you do your job right?” Negans voice spoke menacingly as he leaned in, more so over, Olivia to scare her. Rick was seen near Olivia trying to get Negan to calm down. “Rick, you should really consider a new manager of the food around here, clearly she doesn’t take enough responsibility!”

Your eyebrows furrowed, quickening your pace a little so you were a few feet away from Negan, and Rick. “What’s happening?” You spoke.

Negan turned on his heels towards you. “Little miss manager-of-food, over here didn’t count her supplies correctly!” He said fast, looking back at Rick, then Olivia. “You’re lucky i’m feeling generous today, or else i’d do something physical about this.” Negan seemed more frustrated rather than angry, of course he didn’t care if there was a missing can, he just hated how often people around here wouldn’t do their jobs correctly. “I’m taking an extra can for this… waste of time.” Negan snapped and his men were instantly on it and grabbed an extra can, along with the others already taken and left in a hurry towards the trucks.

You hated this little game Negan played at, his boundaries were but also weren’t set. You wanted to speak up, tell him off, but of course you knew better.

“I’ll be taking a trip to the infirmary next week. If the person who works there, messes up, someone will die.” Negan spoke firmly and with that turned on his heels and walked towards his trucks. Your eyes connect with Ricks, and then you looked at Olivia.

Rick was the next to leave towards the gate, probably the one to close it behind the saviors today. Olivia was crying, she was so sensitive you felt bad for her. “Olivia…” You said her name quietly and went over to put your hand on her shoulder. “It’s just Negan being Negan, you don’t have to cry over it..” You put on the best reassuring voice you could. Olivia nodded and wiped her tears.

“I swear i counted correctly this time..” Olivia’s voice was cracking, and soft. She meant it, and you felt bad for her.

“Hey it’s—“ you were cutoff by someone yelling your name. “Sorry Olivia gotta check on what that’s about-“ With that you left with a quick pace towards the yell, the main gate.

“Y/N!” Yelled again, now closer you knew the root of the noise. Rick. Now jobbing over towards Rick. The gate was closed and the trucks were gone, the saviors already left. “y/n.” He spoke lowly. “We got a team heading out in a few hours for a supply run nearby, i’m going with. I need you to stay with Carl and Judith for me, okay?” Rick smiled. This wasn’t a reason to yell your name, so you softly shook your head and pinched the bridge of your nose. “I didn’t know if you were still at the pantry or not, sorry if it seemed like i was in need.”

With a sigh you looked back up at Rick. “Yeah i can watch them. Come find me next time, thought i was in trouble or someone else was.” He nodded in understanding. “I gotta get to the infirmary, check on those supplies for next week’s visit from Negan, come by when you’re leaving so i can head over.

~~

As you sat down in your chair at the infirmary, checking over supplies. You weren’t like Olivia, you’d triple check everything even when one thing is added to the supply, you’ll check everything again. It was one of the things to cure your boredom or when, cases like this, happen. Your feet propped up on your desk while there was a box in your lap. You organize everything about twice a week now. It was just a way to pass time. Sitting at your desk for hours now, you lost track of time until there was a knock at your door, writing down the count you had, and then separating the counted vs uncounted so you could finish later.

“y/n?” Rick voice was heard as you walked towards the door. The door creaked while you opened it. “Hey! We’re getting ready to leave in a few minutes here, you got-“ You cut him off.

“Watch over Carl and Judith, yep!” You smiled, and grabbed your notebook from your desk. “I’ll head over now.” Ricks hand went to your shoulder.

“Thanks y/n, i know i can count on you.” Rick spoke, leaving shortly before you did.

~~

Over the week, since Negans visit, you’ve checked the infirmary multiple times. You didn’t want to lose anyone. Negans patterns on showing up varied, sometimes he’ll show up days early, or days later. Shocking enough, he visited exactly a week from lasts visit. He had to mean business on what he said with the stock. Quickly making your way to the infirmary, to avoid them going through it without you.

Once inside the infirmary, and since you already checked the stock many.. many times, you sat on your desk and were just doodling in your notebook. You kept that notebook on you almost all the time, there were doodles and sayings, but you also kept things special to you written in it, people’s names, items from your childhood, it was just a reminder for yourself that there are good things to think about in this new world.

You heard a knock at the door, assuming it was Rick you just said, “Come in.”, still doodling in your book. Once the door opened the footsteps that followed were heavier than Ricks. Your eyes shot up and instantly connected with the man just a few feet from you. Negan. “oh, i thought-“ You started but it would sound dumb so you didn’t finish. Closing your notebook and setting it aside.

“You thought..?” Negans eyebrows raise as he takes a slow, dragging, walk over to you. Intimidation tactic that didn’t quite work on you.

“I thought you were Rick.” You spoke truthfully, you didn’t have a reason to lie, but you did have a reason not to tell him. He nodded and leaned against your desk.

There was an uncomfortable silence. How to stop it, not sure. You felt him staring so you looked up at him. connecting with his hazel eyes, that you damned yourself for realizing the color of. “So Ricky the Pricky got you doing infirmary work?” Negans voice filled up the silence, you couldn’t tell if silence or his voice were worse.

“I enjoy it, and am probably the only one to actually know what they’re doing.. so yeah?” You said back, finally forcing your eyes out the window instead of at him.

Your peripheral though, kept him in view. you saw his face rise up and you glanced at him. he was smirking. Knowing a stupid remark was coming. “Are you calm around me, or are you just the shy type?” That wasn’t that you expected of him.

“What?” Your eyebrows stitch together as you looked back at him, this time his eyes trained on the floor.

He clicked his tongue before talking again. “most people here, would be glaring up a storm. talking me out of being in the same room as them.“ He finally met your eyes. He was smiling, his stupid usual smile. “Hell, some would flip me the bird by now. Not you, why?” He was one for always keeping eye contact, so you did too.

You took a little longer to answer, thinking of an appropriate response. “I don’t know.” You shrugged. What were you supposed to say? The reason people cower away is because well.. they’re cowards. You’ve been put in situation and Negan, as intimidating as he is to eveyrone, doesn’t intimidate you. “Why should i be scared, when all you’re doing is sitting… well leaning, next to me.” Was all the reason you could muster up.

This made Negan let out a laugh. “Honestly i’d get upset if you were scared of me.. you’re such a pretty (girl/boy) I mean, why would i want someone like you scared of me?” He flirted, you don’t know if it was to purposely make you uncomfortable, or just him being bored, hell maybe he just wanted to flirt with you. you didn’t know. Finally breaking eye contact to look down. “Ah, did i strike a little sensitive spot? can’t handle being complimented?” Negan was talking in a way that made you feel like you were being made fun of. He was just playing his game, this wasn’t anything to do with you in specific.

Your view was set onto the floor under your feet. Not looking back up at him. You didn’t want to reply until he took a gentle grasp of your jaw and made you look at him. “Don’t get all shy now.” His voice was low and raspy, purposely sending a shiver down your spine. He kept his firm grip, and stared into your eyes.

“I..” you started quietly, you don’t know what to say. “It was just..” You paused, not knowing how to word it. “I just don’t get compliments a lot, and it’s weird coming from you..” You spoke truthfully.

He hummed quietly, nodding. Still not letting go of your jaw. He wanted you to look at him. “You’re trembling.” He smirked, you didn’t even realize but when you did your mouth opened to say something, but Negan being faster. “I bet i could get you wrapped around my finger if i tried. Compliment you more.” His smirk increased as he leaned in. it was only teasing.. he’d never actually kiss you.

“Negan..” You whispered his name. He shushed you, his hand moving from grasping your jaw into pinching your chin in between his pointer and thumb. He lifted your head up a little.

Negan moved his body to standing before you, his grip still just as firm. Subconsciously your legs separated as you leaned back just a little, a way to get further away from him. He took this as an invitation, stepping in between your legs. His hand went to the table right next to your hip, leaning over you now.

“Do i scare you y/n y/l/n?” Negan spoke. Your breathing quickened. Maybe you were uncomfortable, or maybe you somehow found this attractive. He leaned over just a little more, his thighs rubbing against yours a bit.

Negan licked his lips. “No.. of course not.” You spoke, less firm than you wanted too. “I’m just…” You actually didn’t know what to say.

Negans hand slid from the table onto your thigh. His eyes went to his own hand before back to your eyes. “so if you’re not scared.. why is your breath heavy?” He smirked, knowing how he affected you.

Your eyes went to his arm, since his hand was still on your chin you couldn’t quite look completely at where his hand laid. Negan finally let go of your chin. No response from you.

“Speak when spoken to.” He spoke, you leaned up to sit a little more comfortably, even though getting closer to Negan. His thumb rubbed your thigh, made you even more speechless.

“I’m.. awkward, under the circumstances.” you whispered, you watched his thumb rub at your thigh. “Why are you doing this..?” You tilted your head.

He leaned closer now your lips only a few inches apart. “Because you’re letting me.” His gripped your thigh now instead of rubbing it. No one’s touched you like this and you didn’t know how to react. “Can i kiss you?” His voice was quiet, his eyes weren’t looking away from your lips.

You didn’t know, you wanted it but remembering who he was your hand went to his chest and gently pushed him back. “This is a bad idea.” Negan only smirked at your response. His hand stoped holding your thigh, grabbing the bottles of medicine and stepping back.

“Well i hope to see you around y/n. Keep me and what i just did in your thoughts.” He winked, leaving the infirmary. Instant regret with how you just rejected something that you most definitely wanted. You damned yourself for being scared.

tag list :)!!

@pinchofhoney / @starstruck-loner

[moniibu]

Reader finding out that Yan Bully is being sweet to them, kisses Yan Bully and is slowly falling for them?

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY X FEM READER *:･ﾟ✧

this is based on my other works, which are on my page. i plan on making a masterlist soon where you can just click.

things to watch out for: yandere themes, bullying, lovebombing(?), possessiveness, delusions, etc.

word count: i’m a little too lazy to do a word count this time 😅, but we both know it’s over 1k

summary: you and *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ have had a few rough patches. all of a sudden, her demeanor has switched, leaving you confused, angry, and captivated.

notes: hi everyone !! i am so sorry i took so long to make this request as well as make more parts for *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧, since you guys like her so much. i’ve been busy with school and personal things so i haven’t had that much time until now to write this.

thank you once again anon for sending in a request! it means a lot to know how much you guys like my work.

this isn’t an official part two to the last request post i made, but i will be referencing from it, so make sure that you read it so you know what i’m talking about.

this honestly goes more with the second one rather than the ask itself, but they’re similar, so i added them both.

reblogging/reposting is appreciated, and like this anon here, if you would like to see anything specific, just request since requests/ask ARE OPEN !!

someone commented about the name a while ago, but this was already made, so i might use the name in the next post if i make another post about *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧

remember, this is a LESBIAN post, so MEN & MEN ALIGNED PEOPLE DNI!!

thank you guys all sm for the love and support!! i hope you enjoy this next post, *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY X FEM READER *:･ﾟ✧ !!

it’s been two weeks since the whole “buy me food or else” incident, and ever since then, it’s been like hell. you hated *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧. you hated the way that she purposely targeted you, or the way she made sure that you were alone from everyone else so that you would have to be by yourself. you hated the fact that you had to personally change your route to school just so she would leave you alone.

you hated *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧, loathed her even, and you were sure that she felt the same way. that is, until she started following you around like she was your own personal bodyguard. instead of bullying you like she used to, she now had a possessive streak.

she no longer targeted you. instead of making you eat alone, you were now forced to eat with her and the rest of the delinquents. you were now forced to sit with her when you two shared a class. you two “coincidentally” started sharing a gym class? now no one wants to be your partner —which is thanks to her— only leaving you with picking *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ as your partner.

you hated it. she went from being the biggest migraine to completely controlling your life. in fact, the change in *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ actions only fueled your hatred more than it was before. you knew you needed to get rid of this version of *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧, and fast. or, at least back to where you two weren’t as close as she tried to force now.

you secretly tried to find a way to get rid of *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ once and for all, or at least tried too. *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ saw all of it, and quite frankly, she thought it was kinda cute. did you really think you would be able to get rid of her? she likes you, and will do anything in her power for you to feel the same way and understand how much love she has for you.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ thought it was funny at first, until she realized that means she failed in giving you an understanding that you were hers. she wanted to love you and protect you. she wanted to cherish you, and if given the chance, provide for you. she failed at letting you know, but there’s nothing money and connections can’t fix, and she has plenty of them.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ first starts harassing your friends into giving her information on what you liked. the ones who did got things in return, like getting full marks for the month or being ranked top 10 in the school. the others who decided to keep their mouths shut while *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ was being nice? they were either pulled from their sports and clubs, or purposely given bad grades unless they gave up information. the ones who still wouldn’t let up were given a talking to by some of *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧’s other “friends”.

a couple of people dropped you while others looked at you in disgust. you were shocked and confused. you didn’t know what happened, or what got your friends to act like this until you realized that this must be one of *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ doings.

honestly? you were embarrassed and blue. why would she do this? what did you do that was so terrible that not only did she bully you and force you to buy her food, but now she decided to alienate your friends from you? you had enough. you decided you were going to confront her right after the day was over with.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ locked herself in the bathroom. after getting information from your friends, she personally dressed herself to make sure that she was your exact type. she wanted you to blush the second you saw her, for you to look at her and get all coy the way she does —internally— with you. after finding out you liked people with curls, she went to the salon that exact day to make sure it was perfect.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ had on a black compression shirt, outlining her muscles. she knew you had a thing for them, and wanting to show them off so she could prove to you that she was strong and could take care of you if needed. she was nervous. so far, she’s done a 180. it might come as a surprise to you, but she genuinely wants you to know and see how much she wants you.

once *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ believes that she looks good, she grabs the bouquet of red roses and her gift bag of a necklace that she knows that you’ve been eyeing. she hopes that you don’t reject her.

after all, she’s *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧, there’s no way you could reject her. sure, she would be upset, but she knows deep down that you love her. you rejecting her —if you do— just means that she has to try again until she gets it right.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ walks down the hallway with her head held high. she’s confident, and gotten rid of everything that might ruin what could come true.

you on the other hand are a complete opposite from how *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ is feeling. anger is pulsing through your veins, and you can’t wait to see her so you can demand answers on why she did what she did.

you walk down the hallway and see *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧. while she has a mixture of happiness and being flustered on her face, you on the other hand mismatch her energy. *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ can see it, and her mood immediately changes.

“*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧, get over here, now. let’s talk.” you leave no room for argument, anger clear as day in your voice.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ follows behind you silently like a kicked puppy. she’s usually angry, cold, and walks around with an “i don’t care” attitude. yet here she was, wondering what it was that she did that make you talk to her that way.

you lead *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ to an empty classroom. after she walks in you shut the door behind you. “sit. we’re going to talk and you will explain yourself. i don’t care if you want to or you “don’t care”, but we’re not leaving this room until you say something.”

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ does as you say. she sits down, and waits for you to speak, which is a first for you. you look at *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧. the sight of her makes you sick and angry to your core, but you wanted answers, no matter how rough the situation might go.

you may want answers from her, but after all, she’s a bully. you two are alone, and if she wanted to, she could beat you up and leave you the classroom in pain. you think about how to go about it without making something wild like that a possibility. you begin to tear up. all the emotions you’ve been holding back begin to crumble. your walls are beginning to break, and the reality of the situation finally hits you. the woman in front of you purposefully bullied and targeted friends and people you knew, and for what? a bouquet of roses? a necklace?

you don’t say anything at first, but eventually you feel your eyes water, which turns into tears running down your cheeks. you may look like a crybaby right now, but you don’t dare to wipe them. you want *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ to know exactly how much pain and heartbreak she has caused you.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧’s heart breaks at the sight of your tears. she’s never wanted to cause you this much pain. the fact that your crying over her actions makes her want to take her anger out on someone. she made you cry, which makes her feel like an ass. *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ may act like a bully and that she doesn’t care about anyone or anything, but the sight of you crying is making her feel something she hasn’t felt in a long time:

guilt.

she doesn’t say anything, but looks bewildered when you say something. *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ lifts her head up, asking for you to repeat yourself.

“i said, why.” a sob comes out of your throat, but quickly switches to anger. “WHY. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU THAT HAS MADE YOU LIKE THIS.” you shout. “WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU THAT HAS MADE YOU TARGET ME.”

it was the first time *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ has seen you show an ounce of actual emotion. the question catches her off guard, and all she can do is muster out a “what?”

“stop acting dumb.” you sneer. “everyday when i come to school you’re right in my face, picking on what i’m wearing. when it’s lunchtime, you purposely drag me to your table, even when you know i don’t want anything to do with you or your other delinquent friends. you then target my friends and bully them, for what? a gift? and you think that a twenty dollar bouquet of roses and a necklace will make up for everything you’ve done?”

“w-what? no! that’s not why i did it.” *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ banters, or at least tries to. “you have it all wrong. please, let me explain.” *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ gives you a pleading look, and the only thing you can do is agree in response.

“fine. that’s why we’re here, aren’t we? explain yourself.”

“okay. it was like that in the beginning. i did hate you. i hated the fact that you acted so nice, even when people gave you a look that meant that they hated you, and i know you could see it too. i hated how you smiled to everyone. i hated how you had a calming vibe and for once in my life, you were a person that didn’t make me immediately hate them. while i was hating you, i didn’t realized that i loved you, and because i didn’t understand that feeling, i took it out on you.”

by now, *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ is on the verge of tears herself. “stop crying. you have no reason to cry. you were purposely rude just because you could be.” the look you gave *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ was full of disgust and shame. instead of acting like she didn’t care, she switches up, grabbing your wrist desperately. “please! i’m sorry! please, give me a chance! i know you don’t believe me but at least let me at least prove it to you.”

before you could say something to combat her, she shoves the roses in your hands. “please, give me a chance to prove to you that i don’t actually hate you. i want to let you know that i’m truly sorry.” before you can say anything, *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ gives you a peck on the cheek and walks out of the classroom.

at first you didn’t believe her, but *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ kept true to her word. she’s a delinquent after all, so when it came to your friends, she could care less. but with you? *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ changed up her whole act. it began with her giving you a small smile before you walked through the door. she would look at you lovingly if you walked past her.

as for the gifts, she brought you one each day. the first day, it was a pair of earrings from a store you liked. the second day, it was a coat from a store you were window shopping at. each day it was something you longed for, or it was something little that showed you that she was paying attention to you.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ has become desperate. she had been bringing you gifts, smiling at you, and even staring at you. she was beginning to think it didn’t work until you grabbed her hand, leading her towards the classroom you took her to two weeks prior.

“I don’t forgive you, at all. what you did has hurt me, angered me, and irritated me. you still have a lot to make up for if you want me to forgive you.”

“i understand.” *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ says. “i’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if that means that you’ll forgive me.”

you stand on your tippy toes, reaching towards *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧’s lips, giving her a kiss. “thank you for the gifts. i appreciated them.”

you look away shyly before pulling away, or at least try to. before you can pull away, *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ grabs your arm harshly, smashing her lips onto yours. she grabs your waist, pulling you as close to her as you physically can. she grabs your arms and puts them on her neck, kissing your jaw and your cheeks before going back to your lips, kissing them once more. *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ rubs the sides of your waist, asking to put her tongue inside your mouth.

you grant it, and for what seems like forever, the two of you have a make-out session that makes it feel like you two are in your own world. *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ moves forward, almost demanding more. your tongues move in a frenzy, and while you hate to admit it, you’re enjoying the kiss yourself. you rake your hands through *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧’s hair, which makes her moan into the kiss.

your let go to break for air and stare at *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧. you look at her before she grabs you in her arms, hugging you like a lover. “don’t worry. i’ll make it where you’ll see my actions and immediately know it’s love instead of doubt.”

“i’ll know it when i see it.” you scoff. outside, there was someone that saw your make-out session. you didn’t see it, but *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ surely did. she looked at that person with a haunting look in her eyes, almost daring them to try and fuck with her.

*✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ was happy that you accepted her. you may not have accepted her fully, but it was a start. maybe you should’ve went with your instincts and removed her from your life forever. *✧･ﾟFEM YANDERE DELINQUENT/BULLY *:･ﾟ✧ had just gotten a taste of you, and she was already addicted. now that she had you in her arms, she was never letting go.

you were hers.

forever.

*✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*:

*✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*:･ﾟ✧ *✧*

this idea was made and created by @moniibu. all rights reserved to @moniibu, and you are NOT allowed to steal, copy, or translate this work.

January 2024.

[plutoccult]

ALWAYS THE ARTIST, NEVER THE MUSE

pairing: eren yeager x gender neutral reader

description: you know you shouldn’t have let yourself fall for eren, but you did anyway, and it only left you with nothing but hurt when you knew his heart belonged to another. after months of torture, you finally have the strength to let go, granting you the happiness you so desperately needed back in your life.

word count: 1.7k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: happy december? no, angsty december. this particular one shot is a little personal for me because it’s based off a final conversation i had with someone who i essentially let have hold of my heart for far too long and finally had the strength to let go of them a few months ago. he’s like jake gyllenhaal minus the age gap. i say this because he gave me the ability to relate to the moment i knew aka not being there for my 21st birthday! insane! i did however make it less personal by giving it some how i met your mother vibes, but there’s still inklings of my personal life in it. writing helps me heal and express my feelings in a way that i’m comfortable with, so i feel good writing this as part of my healing journey? corny to use fanfiction for healing, but to each their own. sorry if this is too angsty, but imagine how my life has been LMAO. anyway, big shoutout to my friend @toorubobatea for beta reading this. i really wanted her to read it before i posted it, so thank you queen!! and now i hope you guys can enjoy it just like she did! mwah! and i’m tagging @jeanboyjean since she so kindly asked me to <3

you knew that the day you met eren yeager, your life would never be the same, but my god, did it your life turn upside down. pulled in so many different directions you couldn’t tell what was left or right anymore. you felt like you were losing yourself in the process, but you wanted more of him like you wanted to breathe air.

it was always a mistake. one beautiful, soul-crushing mistake. he’d lead you on with mixed signals and uncertainty, but you lived for the thrill because it was the only interesting thing going on in your life. it’s “for the plot”, as you’d always say. even if your friends told you a million times he was bad news and you would only get hurt in the end, you didn’t care.

he was just your friend, that’s what you two always claimed; just friends, but you always sensed a hint of a lie in those words. you couldn’t be just friends. not when he remembered everything you said down to what you had for lunch last week or that time your mother fainted as she watched you get stitches for the first time as a kid. not when he spoke to you everyday like clockwork, a routine that seemed to come easy. how could you ever be just friends? how could it not be more?

you were inevitably in love with eren yeager, and it crushed you when you realized he never once had those feelings for you. not only that, but he was in love with someone else; mikasa ackerman, his best friend since childhood. it all made perfect sense, and you wished you never met him in the first place. but even then, you couldn’t keep yourself away from him. as long as he didn’t know of your feelings, everything would be fine, right? oh, how you were so, so wrong.

you tortured yourself every time you spoke to him. you listened to him as he pined for mikasa, too scared to admit his feelings to her. of course you knew what it was like to be in that position, the one you wanted was sitting right in front of you and he didn’t seem to have a clue. it frustrated you so much, but even so, you’d rather have something instead of nothing with him. such a sad way to feel, such a sad way to live when you think about it now. always the artist, never the muse. constantly crafting for others, nothing ever created just for you.

you’d push those feelings deep down into the darkest pit of your heart, but no matter how hard you tried, it would all come back every time you saw his face or even thought of him. those thoughts of maybe if you were prettier, funnier, and just overall better plagued your mind, but you had to shake them away. one day, you knew, you’d ultimately become fed up and blow up about it. it was the only way you knew how, the only way you could be free.

so now here you were, sitting at your usual booth in your favorite bar—assuming it may no longer be yours after tonight—waiting for eren to arrive so you could talk. you assumed he could sense your seriousness and urgency when you texted him, but you figured so be it. one way or another, you’d do this.

he arrived like you expected. you refused to let him make you second guess yourself, so you kept your cool and acted as normal before you dropped the bomb on him. besides, the shot you took before he showed up was quite the help, plus the drink you swirled around in its glass now.

eren walked over to the bar to grab a drink before heading over to the booth, expecting you to stand up and greet him with a hug like always, but you remained in your seat, clutching your drink in your hands.

“hey, i got your text.” he said as he sat down across from you.

“i see that.” you reply. he noticed you were acting different, not like the y/n he knew. it was obvious you had something on your mind, and since he knew you so well, eren could sense you were going to spill your guts about something.

“what’s up? is something wrong?” eren asked. this was it.

“i just.” you pause. oh god, you were really doing this. “i just wanted to say that i’m done with whatever this is.”

he’s silent, he doesn’t know what to say. you feel like the words are all coming out like vomit. you almost wish you were spewing real vomit right now, but you weren’t quite drunk enough for that. you had to get through this hellish conversation first, at least.

“i’m done. i’m not going to make a fool out of myself anymore. i’m done trying. i’m giving up.” you say, tears threatening to stream down your face, but you fight them away. “i’m done exhausting myself of trying to be something i’ll never be because deep down i know i’ll never be yours.”

eren should’ve seen this coming. all those times you fell silent when he ranted to you about his love problems. you always wanted to scream in his face about how the one person in this world that actually wanted him was always right there, that it was you. even so, he could never give you what you wanted, and he felt like the worst person in the world because of it.

you wait for him to speak, but he doesn’t say anything. if this was going to be your final conversation, he might as well say something. “well, speak now or forever hold your peace because i’m clearly not holding mine.”

“i mean, it’s just not what i was expecting to hear.” eren finally spoke. “i’m just shocked.”

“trust me, i never expected to say it either, but if i’ve learned anything, it’s that i care too much.” you tearfully admit. “too much about you when i know where your heart belongs and it’s not with me.”

“i’m sorry, y/n. i never meant for things to get like this.” he said with sincerity, although you wondered if it was all a lie. “and you must know that there was never any hostile intentions behind any of my actions.”

“that’s funny. it always seemed like there was.” you looked down at your drink, quickly moving your gaze back to him as he spoke once more.

“no, you…” eren paused, trying to put the words together in the best way he could. even if he didn’t seem like it, he did care someway, somehow. “you’ve been there for me when i needed someone most and i’m really, really grateful for that, but i can’t give you what you want, and i’ve been unfair to you as a result. i’m sorry.”

huh. this really wasn’t what you were expecting. where’s the insults? where’s the twisting of your words? why is he actually being apologetic and taking accountability? you wanted to say this was crazy, but this is eren you’re talking about. you always knew he was too good. too good to ever be yours, even.

“you know, this is usually the part where you flip out and make it all my fault instead by calling me delusional and crazy.” you force a laugh. might as well laugh through the pain, right?

“i’m not gonna flip out.” eren said.

“why?” you question him.

“because i know i’ve done wrong by you.” he replied.

“well, that’s a shock.” you take a sip of your drink, tempted to chug it, but eren’s words shocked you into stopping the liquid from going past your lips.

“it shouldn’t have to be, y/n.” he frowned. “you deserve someone who won’t weigh you down. you deserve to move on, even if it’s not flattering for me.”

you set down your drink as you let out a sigh and briefly cover your face, rubbing your eyes before showing yourself once more. “i hate that you’re being so nice about this. i was expecting to yell at you or something.”

“do you want to?” eren asked you.

as much as past you would have loved to, you didn’t have the energy to be bitter anymore. “no… i’m okay. this is better.”

“you sure?”

“yeah, positive.” you say, followed by silence. there wasn’t much for you to say anymore, and you couldn’t beat on this dead horse any longer. it was time to finally say goodbye, no matter how much it pained you to do so. “um, i guess we should just end this here, huh?”

“yeah, guess so.” he looked away. this hurt eren too, but you both knew this was for the best. you’ll be thankful later down the road.

“would it be totally wrong to sneak in a taylor swift quote right now?” you ask, almost immediately regretting the question.

“no, go for it.”

“eh, maybe not. too corny.” you thought it would be best to keep those words to yourself. besides, it was too hard to pin it down to just one thing. he was worth a hundred songs, ones you may never listen to the same way, but that’s okay.

“she’s a wise, wise woman, you know.” eren said, a grin slowly creeping up on his face, despite the circumstances.

“yeah, she is.” you softly smile. at least you could end this on a little good note.

“goodbye, y/n. i wish you the best in everything.”

“goodbye, eren. i really hope you get her someday.”

and with that, you placed a twenty dollar bill on the table and left the bar, no longer claiming it as your favorite and leaving it to eren, along with your favorite place to sit. like with everything else in life, nothing lasts forever, nothing stays the same, and that’s okay. you knew that now.

it was such a strange feeling, having this weight lifted off your shoulders. you had been burdened with this boulder for so long you forgot what it felt like to be weightless. you were finally clean of eren yeager, light as a feather, but most importantly, happy, and freeing yourself of such delusions was the greatest gift you could ever receive.

© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3

[blackdollette]

saw ur requests were open and RAN to ur asks but omg i saw a post a couple days ago about someone else joining kappa’s little group and reader gets jealous abt it bc kappa is giving the new person a lot of attention and i NEED it 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

can be the most filthiest thing you’ve ever written btw 🫶

thank you for being my first request in so long!!!

"don't forget me." | kappa

did you know that there's a tunnel under ocean blvd. - lana del rey

✮⋆˙ [tags] @faesucksass @lustkillers @mayathepsychic1999 @josibunn @si1nful-symph0ny @livingdead-materialgirl @vanlisbon @oliviah-25 @livingdead-reilly @yungbloodsuxca @imoonkiss @lankysimp @xxbl00d-cl0txx @k1ll3rh0rr0r @wildathevrt

jealous!femdom!reader x sub!kappa

word count: 1.7k

contents: murder, home invasion, arson, a few death, kappa held at gunpoint, slight mommy kink, blowjob, cum eating

kappa pressed the muzzle of his gun against his helpless victim’s forehead, beads of sweat glistening against the black gunmetal. with a quick pull of the trigger, kappa shot the man and watched as he fell to the ground like a marionette who’d had its strings cut.

and behind kappa stood a dark figure, clad in effortlessly flattering rags that left little to the imagination. her hands were placed on his shoulders as she giggled at the sight of blood pooling on the ground. kappa’s arm wrapped around her bare waist, jealousy bubbling in your gut.

you stood in the corner of the room, holding the hunter’s knife that kappa had taught you how to use for finishing a job, but she was already on it. you leered at her as she slit open the victim’s neck, earning a laugh of approval from him. he gave her a pat on the back that travelled way too close to her ass for comfort as his eyes wandered to the drops of sweat cascading down her cleavage.

you felt an envious wave of heat rushing to your cheeks as he performed this overused gesture on the girl who had just smuggled her way into the cult.

you had been his partner in crime for longer than you could remember. like bonnie and clyde, he would spoil you with all the wealth and riches you’d ever dreamed of, all for the small price of sticking a bullet into the head of all those who got in his way. out of all his cult members, you’d always been his favourite. he’d keep you perched on his lap and had everyone treat you with the same respect that they would with him.

you looked around the victim’s house. it was a nice one, almost as nice as the other ones kappa had hijacked for you. but he was off, chatting away with his new vixen. your blood boiled at the sight. this was the third time this week that this newcomer had stolen your show. and now here she was, giggling at every stupid word he spoke and inching her way into his pants like a blood-thirsty parasite.

“you did great tonight, darlin’. next i’ll teach you how to use a handgun. you’d look real pretty holding a gun to someone’s head.” kappa cooed to her, sounding like a schoolboy in love. the cult walked through the gold-plated hallways of the house, searching for any valuables to snatch before burning the house to the ground. 

but your red-hot revenge was about to sweet.

you took a deep breath, following them out of the room but making a quick detour to the kitchen, sneaking a few items into your pocket, along with a can of gasoline before strolling out of the house, kappa completely oblivious to your absence.

you stood on the front porch, looking up at the luxurious house and listening to the giggles and conversations from inside the house. the pretty stars in the night sky gleamed, one small star separated from all the rest, surely feeling the same way you felt.

but at the end of the day, stars were burning balls of fire. ones that matched the rage and jealousy that you felt right then. and you needed to let out some steam, or rather thick, black smoke.

you pulled a lighter and a can of spray from your pocket, unscrewing the gasoline and dousing the whole entrance with the toxic fluid. then you flicked open the lighter and woke up the flame with a long spray of flammable solution, the house engulfing in flames in a matter of seconds.

you backed away from the house, watching the flame eat it’s way up the monstrous building. pleased giggles turned into shrieks of fear as kappa and the rest felt the floor underneath them turn molten hot. the roof caved in, sending burning pieces of wood and embers flying everywhere, looking like shooting stars in the night.

smoke floated into the sky, adding a warm atmosphere to the scene. you saw a window break open, then kappa and his eye-candy lept out, coughing up a storm as an explosion rocked the ground.

too stunned to notice you, kappa fell to the ground, choking as smoke filled his lungs. he felt something light pressing the back of his head, slowly turning his head before his eyes widened with shock.

you stood behind him, your face contorted with rage as you pressed his gun to the back of his head, your finger threatening to pull the trigger. it was ironic, really. a look of fear flickered across his face. he stammered out a few frantic words. “w-what the hell is this about, doll?”

“shut up!” you yelled. “don’t act fucking stupid. you know what this is about. you abandoned me for the first slut who’d show you her tits and think i’m just gonna be okay with that?!” your hand trembled, nearly making you pull the trigger.

you could practically hear kappa’s heart hammering in his chest, his hands up as he surrendered to you. he was panting, glazed in a layer of sweat. silence filled the space between you two, and the scene finally sunk in.

here was your cult leader, on his knees in front of you and completely at your mercy. he looked so helpless like this, his hair falling into his face as he stared up at you with his pleading, icy eyes. you’ve would’ve laughed if someone had told you this was where you’d end up.

kappa’s eyes studied your face, taking in all the angry details that he’d never seen before. your flushed cheeks and ruthless gaze make a new sensation run through his body. one that he wished he could say he hated.

with his legs apart in the way that they were, you saw when his cock began to tent in his pants, a tiny white bead leaking through the thin fabric. your mouth gaped open at the sight. of course he’d get hard at a moment like this. fucking whore. a little grin tugged at your lips. “get up.” you ordered, and he immediately did so. you had never been the one making the commands.

as he stood up, you pressed the gun to his boner, speaking in a dark, threatening tone. “i never want you talking to that bitch again. i don’t care if she stays in the cult, but she’s obviously taken your attention away from the only person it should be on.” 

he let out a little whimper as the contact came to his erection. he nodded frantically, a lustful blush covering his cheeks. you smiled a little, nodding as you dragged him away from the scene as the deafening sound of sirens filled the neighbourhood. 

you moved to a dark alleyway, and once you were there you pinned him to the wall and pulled him into a deep, hungry kiss, his hips grinding into the muzzle of the gun as he desperately searched for even the smallest amount of pleasure.

you pulled the gun away, making him whine quietly. “p-please… touch me…” you looked down and saw the mess he had made of himself, cum leaking through his pants. your expression turned into a slight scowl. “you really think you deserve my touch?” he pouted a little. “i-ill get you anything you want. ill do anything at all, baby… j-just please.”

he looked so submissive pressed against the wall like that. you slowly sank down to your knees, you dominance only getting stronger from there. “strip for me.” you commanded. he shyly slipped off his pants, letting them fall to his ankles and letting his foot-long cock spring out. you pressed the muzzle to his tip, drawing a string of cum from it.

you wrapped your  other hand around his shaft, starting to pump him quickly as you gazed up at him with predatory eyes. he let out a sharp hiss as his hips bucked into your touch. he had been craving it so bad because his new girl wasnt half as good as you were.

you brought the gun to his ballsack, finger on the trigger as his heart raced from pleasure and panic. the deadly combination that he’d gotten you addicted to. 

he bit his bottom lip hard, drawing blood and letting a sharp iron tang fill his tastebuds. you moved your hand up and down his length, using his precum as lube as he throbbed from stimulation. “j-just like that, mama… t-thank you.” mindless little praises slipped from his lips as you brought your tongue to his cock, swirling it around the swollen tip.

he shuddered as you took him all the way in, using your teeth to deliver some edge to the pleasure. his back arched against the wall as he accidentally gripped your hair, almost making you blow his balls off. cum spilled out into the depths of your throat, filling your mouth with that familiar salty taste.

his eyes rolled to the back of his head as you used the gun to tease his asshole, the stimulation quickly becoming too much for him to handle. “o-oh my god… i-i can’t take it, mama..!” you bobbed your head up and down quickly, the rapid pulsation of his dick syncing with your racing heartbeat. you gagged and choked on his ginormous girth, your nose pressing against his stomach as you swallowed every inch of it.

his knees collapsed and he groaned out loudly, all intense feelings crashing down onto him at once as lava-like cum flooded your intestines. tears rolled down his cheeks as the orgasm shook his balance, making him lean against the wall for dear life. you pulled yourself off, catching your breath before getting back to your feet, kissing him once again and making him taste himself off your cum-stained lips.

he moaned deeply, shooting a few more ropes of cum onto the pavement as your tongues fought a silent war, his arms wrapped around your body as he clung to you. you felt his lip quiver underneath yours, desperation radiating off of him in waves. you smiled a little into the kiss, knowing that he wouldn’t let go of you anytime soon. you had him wrapped around your finger just as quickly as he got plucked away from you.

author's note: i rlly didn't mean for this to be so long. but it was so fun to write :))

[fateisnotafactor]

Apparently I'm on a writing rampage today.

Pretty sure this is SFW, but if I continue it, it definitely won't be. There's some texting in here and I'll try to reformat it when I get home, just let me know if it's hard to read. (Part 2)

Shouta takes Hizashi out in the wilderness for some survival training and just fucking hunts him. Hizashi is spooked by everything, Shouta moves silently, sticking in the shadows. Hizashi flinches as a twig snaps from across the clearing. Oh, it's just a bunny. He starts to relax only to be wrapped up in Shouta's scarf, dangling upside down from a tree, and Shouta walks up chuckling and just gives him a little spiderman-style kiss before dropping him onto the ground in a tangle of scarf. "You're getting there. We'll try again next year, love."

Next year they bring a pretty little thing and hunt her together. How else is Hizashi going to learn to like the great outdoors?

Hizashi has had his eye on you since that Gala a few months back. You were a fan, so excited to shake his hand and take a picture with him. Shouta noticed how he perked right up, the way his hand slid down your hip as he asked Shouta to take one more, just in case one of you blinked. You blushed of course. Flattered that someone you looked up to was so thoughtful and not just doing the obligatory smile, click, 'move along.'

Shouta bumped into you at the grocery store a couple of weeks later and struck up a conversation. "Marshmallows? Chocolate? Graham crackers? Are you going camping by any chance?"

Well, what a coincidence. So were Shouta and Hizashi. It took a little bit of convincing for you to tell him where you were going, and all by yourself?

"Not to intrude, but would you like some company? It's not safe out there alone. There's been a few bear sightings in that area."

Not to mention that Shouta is an expert at wilderness survival. They had actually been planning on heading to that same park, just a little deeper into the mountains. He has a special permit since they're going to be setting up a summer camp for the students this year. Oh, did he mention that his partner Hizashi was a teacher too? Yeah, that Hizashi. Your favorite radio star.

Now that certainly piqued your interest. Sure, you'll have to make some changes to what you were going to pack, but since your friends backed out a couple weeks ago, well after you could rearrange your time off with your boss, having some company actually sounds like a lot of fun.

Shouta exchanges numbers with you, texting to make sure you had his, and then let you head home. He'll touch base later tonight after he tells Hizashi the good news.

Hizashi remembers you. Of course he does. As soon as you tagged him in the photo, he liked and commented saying that it was always great to meet a fan. He hoped it didn't seem too overly enthusiastic or out of the norm for him. He followed you back and scrolled through your timeline. You don't post much, or if you do, your privacy settings wouldn't let him see everything. Most of it is posts that you've been tagged in, and he has to be extra careful not to accidentally double tap to like any of these posts, especially now that he's a couple years back on your timeline.

You actually seem to enjoy the outdoors. He shudders as he sees you posing next to some beetle on a tree. The thing is absolutely massive. *Fuck.* He accidentally liked the post as he tried to scroll away from the infernal thing. But then you messaged him?

You: Heyyy, so Shouta kind of invited me camping with you. Are you interested in conservation efforts too? I saw you just liked that pic of the rhinoceros beetle. Don't you think it's a shame that people are still trafficking endangered species?

What's he supposed to say to that? He hates bugs, but you're trying to find common ground with him.

Hizashi: Yeah. Smugglers are the worst.

You: Right?! I'm so glad you're so passionate about endangered species too! I really hope we see some so we can add to the national count going on!

You're ... actually excited about bugs? Maybe if he says yes, you'll want to help him too? It's been a while since he and Shouta had a pretty little thing to go "camping" with. If he played his cards right, maybe this year he won't be the prey.

Hizashi: Yeah, I'd like that. Hey, how do you feel about survival games?

You: Like Minecraft? Haha

Hizashi: LOL

Hizashi: No

Hizashi: More like a more adult version of hide and seek tag

Hizashi: Wait not like that

You: Haha like that dangerous game story but for fun?

Hizashi: Yeah! Like that!

You: Can't say I've ever played that.

You: But I'm open to giving it a try

Hizashi feels all fuzzy inside, practically kicking his feet at the idea of you running through the woods, looking back over your shoulder to see him running through the trees after you. He knows he's nowhere near as graceful as he imagines, but for you, he would give it his all.

He looks up to find Shouta looking over his shoulder. "She said she's interested!"

"Mhm."

"Shou, please, please, please? She offered! She said she was open to it!"

Shouta sighs, unable to resist the look on Hizashi's face. "Fine."

"Yes!"

It was like Hizashi was a completely different man, suddenly rushing to pack his things for the trip. Something he had been putting off for the entire week, while Shouta was already fully packed. He pulls out your phone to text you.

Shouta: Sounds like Hizashi is excited that you agreed to come with us.

You: Oh that's great! I hope you guys don't mind me tagging along. I've never actually gone that deep into the park. This is going to be a first for me!

Shouta: Don't worry, we'll make sure you don't wander off and get lost. I've had to work plenty of rescues out there, and it sounds like you have some experience. It'll be fun.

You: I can't wait!!! Is there anything special I should bring? Extra water? Supplies? Heavier gear?

Shouta: Don't worry about all that, we'll have more than enough for the three of us. Just bring what you normally do and let me and Hizashi take care of everything else.

Shouta couldn't help but smile at how excited you seemed to be at joining them on their little annual trip. He'd be sure to keep an extra close eye on you. Figure out your patterns, your habits, your skill level. Hell, if they played their cards right, maybe you could be a recurring guest on their hunting trips.

He wonders how much of a fight you'll put up against them. Will you have to tap out? How long would it take for him to have you tied up all pretty, hanging from a tree? Would you celebrate with them afterward?

He pulls his lower lip between his teeth as he pulls up your social media. Tapping through to a friend's page who had tagged you. Well, well, well. Look at that.

He finds a album from a rock climbing trip you went on a few weeks ago, dangling off the side of a rocky ledge. Smile plastered to your face as you hang, practical upside down with no harness. You can't be far off the ground, but he can already tell that this is going to be more fun than he's had in years.

---

Part 2 (SFW) Masterlist (And where I try to post my fics)

[pechadream]

Sebastian's Flower Dilemma

Pairing: Sebastian/Farmer OC

Summary:

Sebastian didn't like flowers. Anyone who knew him could tell you that much. 

It's not like he hated flowers, he just didn't care enough about them to spend some extra time in his day learning about them or stopping to look at them. 

They looked decent at best in his opinion for most cases, they weren't anything wow worthy to him. It's not like he was going to bother anyone who did like them. But it took too much work to keep them looking good, so he never saw the point. 

He didn't know a single thing about flowers.

So why the hell was he standing at the back of Pierre's shop looking at a wide array of bouquets?

Category: Fluff, Illustrated fic

Content warnings: Mild language

Word count: 6671

A/N:

Guess who got motivated to write/post fics again after like three years thanks to SDV?

I'm going to try to find my writing style again and I'm also trying out a new format for my fanfics where I include my art.

I'm gonna be testing and messing around with the format for the next few oneshots I post (E.G. The spacing of drawings and the placement of them in the fic) in preparation for a much much bigger fic planned, so feedback is really appreciated for that!

(Please note: For most oneshots, the drawings will most likely stay as [clean] sketches.)

Sebastian didn't like flowers. Anyone who knew him could tell you that much. 

It's not like he hated flowers, he just didn't really care enough about them to spend some extra time in his day learning about them or stopping to look at them. 

They looked decent at best in his opinion for most cases, they weren't anything wow worthy to him. It's not like he was going to bother anyone who did like them. But it took too much work to keep them looking good, so he never saw the point. 

He didn't know a single thing about flowers.

So why the hell was he standing at the back of Pierre's shop looking at a wide array of bouquets?

He pursed his lips and stared at the vibrant colors in front of him, silently thanking yoba that Abigail wasn't home and that Sam had no plans on going to the store as he didn't want to risk his friends catching him and making a big deal about it or annoying him. 

Why were there so many options? Why do some of the flowers have meanings? Who the hell is writing meanings for flowers??

Sebastian's hand picked at a loose thread on his hoodie as he walked closer to the bouquets and looked at the vibrant options in front of him. 

He, personally, wouldn't really care what bouquet someone gave him, but this was serious. He wanted the best for her. But how the hell was he supposed to find out what flowers she even liked?

He thought back to when he visited her farm a week ago, her bright smile as she took his hand and led him to the corner of her farm that held her animals. The gleam in her eyes sparkling as she showed off her new flower patch in the center that surrounded her fruit trees.

"It's not really much right now," She said as she walked over towards it. "But I'm hoping to grow a lot more flowers soon when I can buy the seeds! Doesn't it look pretty?" She turned to look at him, his heart tugging as he smiled back to her.

"Yeah… It looks nice."

She definitely didn't know of his lack of interest in flowers. 

Sebastian looked at a rose bouquet as he tried remembering the flowers that she had planted down. He was sure she mentioned it once, but the name completely slipped his mind.

Maybe she texted him the name? 

Sebastian let out a sigh and pulled out his phone, completely unaware of what else was happening in the store.

He scrolled through their (many) texts between each other and alas, there was no mention of the damned flower name. 

Of course. Maybe Pierre would've known if she bought it recently? But how the hell was he supposed to ask–

"-Yeah okay dad! I'll just put these in the back, okay?"

Sebastian froze, his eyes going wide as he heard the familiar sound of a certain someone's voice. 

Abigail. 

Shit.

Why is she here!? She said she'd be out all day because she had things to do! 

And why was this the day that she decided to help Pierre of all days?!

Sebastian's eyes darted around, there's absolutely no way he'd be able to hide or try to get away without her seeing him. He couldn't put his hood up, if anything that'd just make him stick out more.

The sound of footsteps started getting closer as he just froze in place, not even daring to look away from his phone. 

His mind raced as he held his breath.

don't notice me don't notice me don't notice me don't-

"... Seb? What are you doing here?"

damnit.

Sebastian's head shot up as his panicked eyes met Abigail's (very confused) gaze. His mouth opened, trying to come up with some stupid excuse as to why he was next to a bunch of bouquets. His eyes darted back and forth from Abigail, then to the bouquets, and then to his phone. 

Abigail stared at him, waiting for him to respond before she followed his gaze to the bouquets and her mouth formed an 'o' as it sank in. 

"Oh my god…"

Nonononono-

"Holy shit- Are you- Sebastian, are you going to ask someone out?" A wide grin plastered itself on her face as she quickly set down the boxes onto an empty shelf before rushing over and squeezing him in a hug. "I can't believe it! Sebby's fallen in loveeee-"

"NO- No, it's not-!" Sebastian shoved his phone into his pocket and backed away from Abigail. "You're completely wrong- I'm not asking anyone out, I'm just- …. looking at the flowers?" He weakly said, his voice getting more quiet as he kept talking. 

Abigail snickered, "God, if you're gonna lie, at least put in some effort." The girl walked over to the display, leaning against the side of it. "Soo, which one were you thinking of?".

Sebastian's fingers picked at the loose thread on his hoodie even more roughly as he dug himself deeper into a hole. "None of them! I'm just- Looking at some for Maru, because she said she needed flowers for an experiment and- " "Sebastian that's an even worse lie." She shook her head and gestured for him to come over. His shoulders slacked as he felt defeated, taking his three steps of shame over to be closer to the display.

Abigail's teasing grin softened as she nudged his shoulder, "C'mon, I know you're probably struggling with this. Tell me who you're crushing on and I'll help you pick one!" She walked over to stand beside him. "Sooo? Who is it?"

Sebastian felt his face burning up, god he wanted to die. He took in a deep breath before finally saying her name. 

"... It's Luna."

He could only stare at the floor as his face reddened, he couldn't believe he was just sharing his crush as if he were in highschool. 

Abigail stared at him, taking it in. 

"Wow, that's…" She took in a breath.

"... not really much of a surprise." Abigail let out a laugh. 

His head snapped back to look at her again. "What?" Sebastian stared at her in confusion. "How- how did you-" He watched as she shrugged. "Dude, you're so predictable! I was gonna guess if it was Luna you're asking out! But it's kinda rude to guess someone's crush like that so-" 

"Abby, how did you know?" Sebastian shoved his hands into his pockets, his face burning up more. Abigail just stared at him blankly.

"Sebastian…" She shook her head and placed her hands on his shoulders, "Oh, sweet, oblivious, Sebastian…" the woman let out a sigh. "How can you be so oblivious to what you do? Mr. 'Of course, Luna! Of course I'll step outside into the sun for you!'." She said in a mocking tone while clasping her hands together.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I do not act like that." He smacked her on the shoulder gently. She scoffed with a grin, "You sure? It really seems like that to me!"

Abigail rolled her eyes before putting her hands on her hips.  "What kind of flowers does she like?" 

"I… Don't know." He said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck as Abigail just stared at him blankly.

"You… Don't know?" She stared at him for a second before walking over and picking up a rose bouquet. "What about this? It's pretty, isn't it?" She lifted it towards him as he backed away.

"I dunno… Isn't that a bit… Cliché?" He gently pushed it away as she let out another sigh. "Dude, she won't care! If she feels the same way then she'll just accept it and make out with you or something! She's not gonna throw it on the floor and stomp on it while going on about how 'This didn't even cost 10,000G, I don't want it'!" 

Abigail placed the bouquet back before picking up another one, this one being a bouquet of daisies and holding it out towards Sebastian, "How about this one?" She watched as he scrunched his nose. "That feels too childish." Abigail scoffed and placed it back. "Seriously? Seb, she's not gonna care, she's not picky!" 

"But I want there to still be thought put into it!" He watched as Abigail took a closer look at the selection. "Kinda hard to put thought into it when you don't even like them, Sebastian…" She muttered as she grabbed a bouquet of mixed flowers. Sebastian stared at it for a second before opening his mouth again. "Oh, what is it this time." Abigail said with an exasperated tone. 

"Isn't it a bit… much??" 

"... What is that even supposed to mean."

Sebastian gestured to the flowers as she looked down at it as well. "I dunno, it just feels really… Fancy? Like- That's not something I'd get for a confession, probably more so an anniversary or something- It's a special occasion bouquet." 

Abigail blinked at him.

"Why are you acting like you know anything about flowers?" She placed the bouquet back into its spot, "Although I guess you are right," She ran a hand through her vibrant hair, "It does seem like it’s a bit much." 

They both let out a sigh as the bell above the door rang, footsteps entered the building as Abigail and Sebastian continued to stare at the flowers in front of them.

Pierre said his usual greeting which was then met by a chipper: "Hey! Do you guys have some cleaner in stock? Mom wanted me to grab some, she just ran out."

Wait… Is that-

"Ah, I believe we do! It should be near the back. Tell Jodi that Caroline and I say hi, okay Sam?" 

God damnit.

"Sure thing!" Sam's voice sounded like it got closer as footsteps got closer, Sebastian pulled his hood up and held onto the edges tightly, there was no possible chance of that working, but he did not want Sam seeing his face right now. Maybe there was a tiny chance that the cleaner was closer to Sam than he thought, and Sam might not see him. 

Abigail saw his tense body and stressed expression as she giggled lightly before walking closer to the flowers and gesturing to some, before looking at Sebastian and raising an eyebrow. 

Sebastian shook his head as his lips squeezed together. 

"Hey, whatcha up to?"

A pair of hands that belonged to the voice latched onto his shoulders.

Sebastian flinched hard and quickly turned around, stumbling backwards and almost bumping into the flower display as his eyes met with Sam's expression, a massive grin on the man’s face while his eyes gleamed at catching his best friend looking at flowers. (It was actually more likely that he was just amused that he startled Sebastian more than anything else.) 

"GOD- You can't just- Sam–! What is your problem!?" Sebastian shoved Sam's shoulder as Sam started laughing, Abigail's laugh quickly followed. "You gotta admit, Seb," She started up, "That was kinda funny!" 

"No it wasn't!" He buried his head in his hands, his face felt like it was on fire. 

Sam walked closer to Sebastian as his grin got wider, "Dude, do you have any idea how suspicious you look right now?" He gestured his hand towards Sebastian's outfit, "You're wearing all black with your hood up while looking at flowers- If Mayor Lewis saw you he'd probably think you were about to play another prank!" He let out another laugh while Sebastian glared at him through his fingers. 

"What are you even doing here? I thought you hated these things!" Sam tilted his head before it sank in. "Wait…" His eyes widened as he let out a gasp, "Don't tell me-!" Sam looked at Abigail for confirmation as she nodded with a grin on her face. "Our precious lil' Sebby's in looove!" She wrapped her arms around Sebastian and gave him a squeeze. Sebastian groaned and pushed her away while she continued to laugh.

"No it's- That's not-!" Sebastian tried to argue but got abruptly cut off by Sam giving him a tight hug, "Holy shit, Seb! Who's this lucky person who gets to date your anxiety riddled ass?" Sam asked him with a gleam in his eye.

Sebastian pushed Sam away before thinking it over for a second. He considered lying right then and there but then he remembered that he just told Abigail and he knew she'd call him out on lying right to Sam's face. 

Plus if he lied to Sam and got caught, Sam would act all dramatic and try to use it as a way to guilt Sebastian into buying Joja-Colas for him again.

And he didn't feel like wasting his money like that.

Sebastian stared at Sam for a few seconds, seeing how Sam's eyes sparkled in anticipation before finally speaking up. "I'm… I'm going to ask out Luna."

Sam let out a gasp, his left hand covering his mouth as his eyes widened in shock, while his right found its way onto Abigail's shoulder to keep himself stable. 

"Wow, Seb! Luna? You're… gonna ask her out??" Sam's hand lowered from his mouth to rest on his chest as if he were in shock, the grin on his mouth saying otherwise. "Yeah I already knew that."

Seriously!?

"Wh- How the fuck did you both know?" Sebastian finally put his hood back down and crossed his arms as Sam and Abigail both laughed. "Sebastian we've known for so long– It's so obvious that it'd kinda be sad if we didn't!" Sam gave his friend a pat on the shoulder as Sebastian scoffed. "What do you mean 'it's obvious'? No it wasn't!" He rolled his eyes, "How long did you two even know?"

"About three months."

"What're you talking about? I've only liked her like that for one month!"

Silence filled the room as Sam and Abigail stared in shock before they both burst out with hysterical laughter again. "Holy shit!" Sam gasped for air, "We knew you had a thing for Luna before you did!" He leaned against Abigail for support again as Abigail laughed as well. "Oh my god!" She wiped tears from her eyes, "When you two get together I'm so telling her about this!".

"Like hell you are! And- And besides! She might reject me, so there's no guarantee that we'll start dating!" Sebastian scrunched his nose as Sam only started laughing harder, "Dude! No way you can't see how into you she is!"

Sam clasped his hands as he then began to do his best impression of Luna. "Why- Sebastian! Of course I'll listen to you ramble about coding when I know absolutely nothing about it! Of course I'll watch these gorey movies with you despite hating horror with a passion! Oh Sebastiannn! There's no other seats available by the fire! Can I sit next to you in a way where we’re really close togetherrr?"

Sebastian watched, unamused as ever, as Abigail then joined in. Making sure to move her bangs to mimic his hairstyle by covering one eye as she lowered her voice. "Why, of course, Luna! Luna, would you like to practice the flower dance routine with me despite the fact I hate it with a passion? Yes of course we can play some games on my TV, Luna! We're gonna have to sit on my bed though– Hey Luna, do you need any help around the farm despite the fact I burn easily and I hate being outside and would never help my other friends like this?"

They both laughed as Sebastian grabbed a nearby newspaper and rolled it up, whacking them on the head with it, "Okay, okay, god. I get it. Knock it off." 

Sam cleared his throat, "Anyway– I'm more surprised you're actually going with the traditional way of asking someone out in town. You didn't really seem like the type." Sebastian shrugged as he looked back to the flowers, "I mean, I didn't even consider the tradition for asking her out. I just knew she loved flowers, so I was trying to pick out a bouquet of her favorites…" He pursed his lips again, why couldn't he just remember the damned flower's name!?

"Buut…" Abigail spoke up for him, "The thing is, he forgot what her favorites were, so now I'm trying to help him at least pick out one that's at least something she'd like,". Sam's mouth formed an 'o' as he looked at the flowers as well.

"... Welllll- I don't know her favorites either, but I can help!" Sam gave him a grin and a pat on the back, "It can't be that hard! Just- Get a bunch of flowers that seem like something she'd be into! That's not that difficult, right?" He walked over to the display and opened his mouth to speak. "Wait- Sam, no-!" Abigail gasped as Sam quickly turned away whilst sneezing. Abigail quickly dragged him further away from the flowers as he dug through his pocket for a tissue. Sebastian grimaced as Sam blew his nose. 

"Yeah, uh… Thanks for the offer, but maybe you shouldn't be anywhere near those." Sebastian gave him a pat on the shoulder as Sam nodded. "Good idea." Sam walked further back and gave them a thumbs up. "I'll just send encouraging thoughts from this corner!". Abigail gave him a thumbs up in return before turning her attention back to Sebastian. 

"Alright, plan B time." She lifted up a manual Pierre left laying near the flowers as she smiled at Sebastian. "Dad left this list of flower names here, so how about I read out the names and you'll see if you can recognize them from what she told you!". Sebastian and Sam both stared at the girl, which she only responded with a scoff as she put it back down, "Well, I dunno how else you expect to remember it!" She crossed her arms while Sebastian went back to staring at the flowers.

Sam hesitated before walking over again. "Hey, what about those?" He pointed towards a bouquet of tulips, "I'm pretty sure I've seen those around her farm before, so she's gotta at least like them, right?" Sam watched as Sebastian shook his head, the blonde's shoulders slacking as he let out a groan. "Sebastian, you can't seriously be acting this picky when you don't even know what she likes!" 

"But I want her to really love it!" Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh. He could really go for a smoke right about now… Sebastian looked up at his friends again, watching as they both stared at him, realizing just how important this was for him, before their expressions softened.

Sam's eyes scanned his face before giving him a smile, "Okay… I get it, this is important to you. How about you pick something based on what she likes? Like- What's her favorite color?" Sam asked, picking up the flower list Abigail set down a while back. 

"I'm not sure…" Sebastian stared blankly ahead of him, "I never really do small talk so I've never asked her anything like; 'hey what's your favorite color?'," He shrugged as Abigail hummed, "Well… She always wears that top that has pink and blue on it, maybe her favorite colors are those?".

Sam nodded, looking at the bouquets with a small frown, "Well that'd be a safe bet, but there aren't really any bouquets with both of those colors," He pointed to some, "A lot are just pink but there's not that many blue ones, let alone pink and blue."

They all stood there in silence for a bit, all thinking it over. 

Abigail let out a gasp as she snapped her fingers, "I got it!" She grinned at the two, now confused, men as she walked over to grab two bouquets. 

"How about I pick out two random bouquets, and then you can tell me which ones that you think Luna would most likely love more! Then, I can put the other one back and pick out another!" She said with confidence, "It's an elimination game!" 

Sebastian and Sam glanced at each other before shrugging. "Sure, I guess that'll work." Sebastian said as he watched the purple haired girl quickly grab two bouquets before turning around and presenting them. 

"Tadaaa!" She held out the bouquets as Sebastian looked at them. One of them looked to be a light pink Fairy Rose bouquet. He swore he recognized it from Luna's farm last year, she must've grown it back then around her farmhouse. The other bouquet were mostly Sunflowers, with a few smaller flowers that he didn't know the names of. 

Sebastian thought about it for a second before pointing to the Fairy Rose, "I think she'd like those more." He watched as Abigail nodded and placed the sunflowers back. 

Huh, maybe this might actually be the plan that works. 

Sebastian watched as Abigail grabbed another bouquet, this one being way more vibrant than even the sunflowers. 

"What even are those??" Sebastian raised an eyebrow to her as she turned back and looked at the name above the price. "Uhhh," she squinted her eyes, "Tiger Lilies." She turned back to him. 

Sebastian paused, his brain trying to remember where he heard that name from, did she mention it before?

Oh wait-

Sebastian watched as Luna tended to her flowers. "So," He watched as she looked up at him before he continued, "Any idea on what flowers you're gonna plant next?" He asked as she stood up, wiping the dirt on her hands off on her apron. 

"Ah, not yet… I wanted to plant these pretty flowers that grew outside my old apartment building, Tiger Lilies, but it turns out that they're poisonous to cats! And I don't wanna risk harm with Solar since she wanders out here frequently to nap with the chickens." She sighed as she wiped the sweat off her cheek, "I didn't know Lilies were poisonous to cats… Did you? It's such a shame too! They're so pretty…"

He definitely shouldn't get the bouquet of Lilies for her then.

Sebastian grimaced, "Yeah no- That'd be a horrible choice." He watched as Abigail tilted her head, looking back at the Lilies. "Really? I thought she'd like these."

"She told me that Lilies are poisonous to cats."

"Oh shit– really?"

"Yeah."

Sebastian watched as Abigail quickly put the bouquet back. "Yeah I uh- don't think she'd like it if you killed her cat." Sam patted Sebastian's shoulder. Sebastian flicked his hand away, "Wow really? You don't say." He stuffed his hands back into his pockets as Abigail picked out another bouquet. At least they were getting somewhere with this plan. 

Ding!

The trio tensed up, their heads quickly snapping to look at who entered the store, just hoping it wasn't Luna. 

"Ah, hello Evelyn!" Pierre's voice rang out.

They all let out a sigh of relief as Evelyn walked past, most likely not even noticing the trio. Abigail twirled a piece of her hair with her fingers, "Wow, we all just kinda tensed up there huh?" She laughed as Sam spoke up, "Yeah," He scratched the back of his neck, "I didn't think I was gonna freeze up like that! Thank god it wasn't Luna though, she definitely would've noticed us."

Abigail turned to go pick out another bouquet again as she continued to speak, "I completely forgot that it's around this time that Evelyn comes in to get seeds for the community garden around this time, I might need to go help her out if she needs certain things. Sam, can you step in for me if that happens?" She asked as Sam grimaced.

Wait a second…

"Abby, do you want me to sneeze on all the flowers or something?" Sam asked, narrowing his eyes at her as she laughed, "It would be kinda funny!" She shrugged as Sam gawked, "No it wouldn't!".

"Hold on, I'll be right back." Sebastian quickly left his two friends behind as he walked over to Evelyn. "Hi Evelyn." He waved to the old woman as she smiled at him, "Ah! Hello, Sebastian! What brings you out here?" She asked as he nervously fidgeted with the fabric of his hoodie again. "Ah- Well, uh… I was hoping to get a gift for Luna, since she's done so much for everyone in town! And, um-" He picked at the skin by his nails as he continued to speak, "I wanted to give her some flowers… But I don't really uh- know what she likes… So, I was just wondering if you knew, since I know you two talk a lot." He stumbled with his words as he felt his throat tighten up. God, he did not enjoy talking with people.

Evelyn nodded understandingly as she gave it a thought, "Ah… I think she's mentioned to me that she loves Carnations, Fairy Roses too. They were her grandmother's favorites as well, funnily enough!" The woman sighed happily as she reminisced, "Ah, I remember when Mariana would tell me all about those two flowers… Maybe I should plant those when they're back in season?" She shook her head gently before turning her attention back to Sebastian. 

"I think if you gave her some Carnations, she'd absolutely adore it," She gave him a smile as she gently took his hands.

"She's a very kind woman, she takes after her grandmother a lot… So make sure not to break her heart, alright dear?" She gave him another smile before letting go of his hands and walking away to go to the seed aisle. 

Sebastian stood there for a second, blinking twice as his mind went blank. 

Was everyone seriously more aware about how he felt more than him?

He let out a sigh before walking back over to the bouquets and taking a look at the names, ignoring Sam and Abigail watching him as they whispered between each other. His eyes scanned the rows as they finally landed on what he was interested in. 

White Carnations. 

He took a deep breath before picking it up and looking at it closer. Making sure the petals weren't wilted and that it looked perfect, he stared at it again. 

It looked…

Bland. 

He didn't really know much about flowers but even he knew that it didn't really have anything impressive with it all being white. 

Abigail must've sensed his disappointment as she spoke up gently, "Ah… Seb? If you want, then uh- We can actually make it more custom by adding in the Fairy Rose that we looked at earlier. The pink might add a nice contrast to the white!" She took the bouquet from his hands and placed both down on a nearby table before pausing, her lips pursed. "I'll have to go get my mom to do this, she makes all the arrangements anyway, but it shouldn't take long! And it won't cost extra!" She said as she quickly ran off, leaving the two men standing there.

Sam cleared his throat and turned to Sebastian. "So… ah…" He rocked back and forth on his heels, "When are you gonna ask her out?" He watched as Sebastian shifted, his eyes fixated on the bouquets. "I'm… I'm not sure. She seems really busy, I kinda forgot how busy she gets during this season so I might just ask her out during one of our hangouts at her house?" He shrugged, Sam stared at him. 

"Wait- How frequently do you two hang out again?"

"I dunno, every saturday night?"

"... And... what do you two usually do?" He watched as Sebastian shrugged, "We usually just watch a couple of movies and talk about whatever." He paused before speaking up again, "Actually, it's more like I watch the movies. She usually ends up falling asleep midway through and I'm just stuck there because she's using me as a pillow or something." 

Sebastian looked to his friend, who looked very amused by what was told to him. 

"Sebastian. Are you sure you weren't having dates?" Sam tilted his head, a grin slowly creeping its way onto his face. 

The two of them stared at each other, Sebastian's face getting warmer and warmer by the second before he broke eye contact and stared at the ground. "Sam, why are you still here?" Sam shrugged as he waved to Caroline, who was following Abigail over. "I'm here as moral support for my best friend." He said, as if it were obvious, "Plus, it's kinda funny."

"Well you're doing a pretty bad job at being moral support." Sebastian ignored Sam's offended gasp as he looked up and waved to Caroline as well as she smiled at the two before taking a look at the flowers.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do with this, it'll probably take at the very most ten minutes. Sebastian, do you want to watch and see if you like the arrangements?" She asked as she took the flowers out of the paper and pulled out a fresh sheet for the new arrangement, placing it down in a temporary vase and carefully placing the flowers in one by one. Sebastian stayed silent as he watched, giving a nod if Caroline asked his opinion on how it was going as Sam and Abigail just stayed further back, talking between themselves.

After a bit of careful placement, the bouquet was soon done. Caroline pulled it out of the vase and wrapped it in fresh paper before handing it over to Sebastian. "Alright, how do you like that? Do you need any adjustments to the flowers?" She brushed her hands off on her skirt as he looked it over, a very slight smile grazing his lips. "I think this is good… Thanks."

Caroline gave him a smile, "Of course," hummed as she started cleaning up her workspace, "Oh! Pierre will probably tell you this when you're checking out, but these bouquets will stay fresh and good looking for about a week. After a week, they'll start to wilt. It most likely won't be noticeable until about two days after the week is over, give or take, but you'd still better hurry and give the bouquet to Luna before it wilts. Of course, it will last longer in water if you have a vase for it at home. That'd probably be the best option if you do."

Sebastian nodded as she spoke, "Yeah, okay… I'll be sure to- … wait what-" Sebastian's mind went blank as he processed what she said about Luna as she only smiled and walked back into her house. Sebastian turned to Sam.

"Sam. Be honest with me."

"Hm?" Sam turned his attention from Abigail to Sebastian, noticing the man's embarrassed expression. 

"By, 'it's so obvious that you're into Luna', exactly how obvious do you mean?"

Sam shrugged, "I dunno, it was just kinda just- there- Like, when you'd text me at around midnight asking me what you should respond to her text with when you normally don't care much about your responses," He continued to explain, "And whenever she'd walk into the room and go over to you you'd immediately start smiling and you'd listen to every single thing she says. You'd also do things like offer your umbrella or jacket if it was raining or if it were cold." 

Sam watched as Sebastian's expression softened before starting up again, "It's a bunch of little things, but I think everyone can kinda tell how happy she makes you. Plus, you've even commented a few times on how you feel more energized when she's around," He ran a hand through his blonde hair as Sebastian's grip on the flowers tightened. "Do you…" He hesitated, "Do you really think she feels the same way?" He asked as his eyes bore into the flowers. 

Sebastian felt a hand place itself on his shoulder as he looked up and met eyes with Sam, who gave him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, from what I can tell, she's just as into you as you’re into her." He grinned as Sebastian took a deep breath. 

"Okay, I'll figure out how to tell her when I get home." Sebastian watched as his two friends high fived. "Fuck yeah, dude!" Sam wrapped his arms around Sebastian, careful to not crush the flowers, "You've got this!".

Abigail laughed while watching the two, "Look at you, Seb!" She grinned at him, "Making the first move! Ah- You really are all grown up! It brings a tear to my eye!" She wiped away a fake tear as Sebastian finally laughed, feeling more confident now compared to how he felt just a few minutes ago, "Come on… This isn't that big of a deal." He pushed Sam away as Sam shook his head, "It is, though! Just think of it, Sebastian. You and Luna, living on that farm, maybe with some kids-"

Sebastian quickly cut him off with a whack to the forehead, rolling his eyes as Sam only grinned at him, "You're a bit ahead of yourself there. We'll probably just test out dating before doing anything official yet, let alone talk about kids." He watched as Sam shrugged, "You never knoww-! Ow!" Sam rubbed the back of his head, shooting a glare at the woman who slapped his arm, who only smiled at him before turning her attention to Sebastian. "He's probably only this excited because we placed a bet on who'd confess first and he's winning right now, don't mind him!" She said as she started to push Sebastian over towards the checkout. 

"You what??" Sebastian watched as Abigail dismissed him by waving her hand, "Nothing, nothing!" 

She led him over to the counter before giving him a quick hug "Good luck, Sebastian," She smiled before running back over to Sam.

Sebastian only let out a nervous sigh as he placed the bouquet on the countertop. Pierre scanned the bouquet before looking at Sebastian, "Is that all you'll be buying?". Sebastian only nodded, his throat feeling too tight to speak. Everything sounded muffled as the nerves finally set in on what he was doing, he could somewhat make out that Pierre was telling him about how to take care of the flowers. Luckily Caroline already told him about that, otherwise he'd definitely not know what to do since he practically zoned out whatever Pierre was saying.

"That'll be 200G."

Sebastian paused, processing what was said before pulling out his card and swiping it through the scanner as Pierre cleared his throat, catching his attention. "If you'd like, I can put the bouquet in a bag so it's more discreet," He offered. Sebastian stood there for a second, thinking it over before nodding, "Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Thanks.".

Pierre nodded as he carefully placed the bouquet in a bag before handing it over to Sebastian, "Good luck." Pierre waved goodbye to him as Sebastian walked out the door, passing by Abigail and Sam without saying a word. The sun immediately glaring down on him as he squinted, looking around to see if Luna was around.

He took a deep breath before taking the long walk back to his house. Hoping that Luna wasn't there to buy something from his mom. 

The walk home was uneventful, by the time he arrived his mom already closed down the shop so there was no way Luna would've been there which he was definitely thankful for, as he was able to sneak back into his room unnoticed.

He placed the bag with the bouquet under his desk as he then collapsed onto his bed, not even bothering to take off his shoes as he just laid there. 

He pursed his lips together as his eyes stared straight into the wall, his mind racing as it all sank in. 

He was going to confess to her.

Sebastian felt his face heating up, his eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it more. 

What if she rejected him?

What if she didn’t want to be friends anymore?

Has he just been getting the wrong signals?

What if-

DING!

Sebastian rolled onto his back as his hand dug through his pocket and pulled out his phone, flipping it open, his eyes focused as he saw the notification.

1 NEW MESSAGE

He paused, assuming it was Sam, before opening up his texts and seeing who it was. 

Luna. 

Perfect timing as ever. 

He paused before opening her text message, there was an image attached.

'Look!! Solar has me trapped :c'

The image attached showed a blurry picture of a small blonde kitten laying on  Luna's shoulder, her face is barely visible from the top corner but his eyes could make out that she was smiling. As Sebastian processed what was happening another text was sent. 

'She's never done this before! I think she finally likes me :D You're no longer gonna be her favorite person anymore!! hehe >:3'

He smiled as he quickly typed back to her, 

'It's not my fault that she just likes me more than you, I'm not the one who tries to give her baths.'

He his arm fell limply to the side of his head as the phone began buzzing again, must've struck a nerve with that, he laughed as his other arm draped itself over his eyes.

His mind started to wander, thinking about his concerns about confessing to Luna. Why was he getting so worked up about this?

Why this of all things?

He was never one to hesitate over taking risks. 

He bought his motorcycle on a whim when he was seventeen and he pierced the majority of his piercings by himself. All those worked out just fine (except his first piercing, which did get infected.) So why was he so worried about this? 

He pursed his lips, his empty hand tightly being curled into a fist. 

The worst she could do is say no, and even then, it probably wouldn't be a harsh rejection either. She's a nice person, she wouldn't be hurtful about it. 

Sebastian turned his head and stared at the phone in his hand as he thought about what Sam said to him earlier about Luna feeling the same way. 

He did have a feeling that she was getting a crush on someone, but maybe he should see if he could question her a bit on it just to make sure before he screwed anything up. He considered himself decently observant despite what his friends said. He was sure that he’d be able to tell what her reactions meant to certain things he'd do. 

He took a deep breath as he moved his arm so his phone was hovering over his face and started typing without a second thought. His thumb hit send without even reading it over so he wouldn’t get second thoughts as his eyes bore into the screen ahead of him. 

'Hey, do you want to hang out tomorrow? If you're not busy, that is.'

He stared at the message, his brain screaming at him for actually going ahead with the plan he so messily came up with. 

What were the chances she’d say yes? She’s very busy with her farm this season, so there’s no way that–

DING!

'Yeah sure!! I should be done with my work around the afternoon like usual, should I come over then?'

'Yeah.'

Sebastian quickly threw his phone to the opposite side of his bed as he shoved his face into a pillow, his face felt like it was on fire. His hands buried themselves in his hair as he cursed himself out, silently thanking the fact that his pillow muffled him. 

He lifted his head, his eyes staring at the bag with the bouquet in it as it sat there taunting him. He felt as if this was one of the biggest risks he's ever taken in his entire life. He didn't want to screw this up and lose her as a friend. 

But with the off chance that she might like him back the way he liked her,

Then maybe this was a risk worth taking.

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

Meet the Parents Part 1

Okay! So, someone requested to talk about Gwen’s scenes with both of Miles’ parents, and I thought it would be nice to do something a bit more light.

As always, we start a bit early.

(Also, this post has been needed to be redone THREE TIMES because tumblr keeps thinking I want to delete the entire post while I am just trying to delete a screenshot or a line.)

This part is something I wanted to mention here because 1) I don’t have that much to say about it to make it a post, but still wanted to mention it, and 2) I just think is nice.

Gwen quickly apologizes to Miles about snapping to him like that. I think this is great because while it is a small thing, I feel is nice and realistic that Gwen can quickly admit that she shouldn’t have done that. I feel in any other piece of media Gwen would had stayed mad or made Miles apologize (or maybe one from just a few years ago, I am traumatized by the stuff I watched as a kid.) But she doesn’t have that kind of pride, which I like.

Besides, I think Gwen didn’t want to waste time on stuff like that. The watch is fine, nothing happened; she wouldn’t want to ruin the mood over this.  

Yeah Miles didn’t really seem to care that much anyways, and of course I notice Miles looking at Gwen lips. And considering where Gwen is looking, I believe she may have notice that too.

Do I think he was going to go for it? Maybe, I think he would have definitely tried if they had a few minutes together and didn’t think anybody was watching, I don’t have any strong evidence for this one other that I do think he was trying to get closer not to try at that moment, but maybe find a way to get close enough to do it.

No idea if it would had happened or not, I think even if I believe Gwen is trying to not start something between them (not today at least,) I am not sure Gwen would had refused. Again, the girl is whipped.

Oh boy, I can't never watch this scene without feeling so bad for Miles and Gwen, to be honest I don't know which one I feel worse on this scene.

Obviously Rio and Jeff aren't trying to mess up stuff on purpose (At least I don't think neither of them expected Miles to care this much, or for Gwen to needing to leave as she did.)

But imagine being in the position, going with the assumption that they were having a moment (that may or may not lead to kiss, I think they needed just a few more moments for have the proper mood, but that's just me.) And then your mom/the mom of your crush pops in out of nowhere.

Little sidenote, does neither of them have super hearing?

Perhaps super hearing is too much, but for what I remember their sense are heightened, including sound.

This has been showcased in other spiderman properties in other ways, and part of the reason I thought they had it (or at least Miles,) was because later, when Spot is whispering to himself that he is going to be much more than a villain of the week, Miles hears him.

And this is with Gwen and Pavitr screaming as they hit the shield who also makes noise when hit.

For me when I saw that scene I was like "Wait how did he- Oh yeah, super hearing."

Maybe it was just for a joke and I am thinking this too much, but for me it meant that their hearing is better than average.

Which leads me to...how lost in their own world were these two that they didn't Rio coming in; specially since I think because is not a regular staircase but a ladder, being talking quietly to themselves, they should had hear it.

Guess they were too busy focusing on something else.

I literally watched this multiple times in slow motion to make sure I wasn't imagining things, and then a couple of times at regular speed to make sure this was something that you were meant to catch.

You know? Something funny that happens in a lot of these posts, is that I do an analysis because I thought may be fun or someone requested it, but I think to myself "It will probably be boring, what is there to analyze or catch on this one?"

And then I start looking things at slow motion and be like no fucking way.

I love this because you can actually see that Gwen is actually nervous around Miles' parents.

Yes this isn't necessarily new information, specially watching the rest of the scene; but I what I liked about seeing this in slow motion is that you can see how Gwen goes from the surprise, to trying to act as if she didn't get spooked, to preparing herself to present herself to Miles's mon.

That's really the part that I found most interesting, how Gwen looks down for a second in what it seems she is taking a deep breath before smiling and presenting herself to Rio.

I also love how during all of this Rio doesn't stop looking at Gwen (After all I am sure this is the first girl Miles had brought,) and Miles is just lamenting this is his life.

Another thing I want to bring up while we are here, is that while in another previous scene Rio and Jeff were judging Gwen (I think it was just overprotectiveness, even if I don't think it was nice or fair for them to do so,) in these shots when Rio is trying to meet Gwen, she is trying to smile very friendly and act as normal as she can while looking so awkward.

While she probably still is judging a bit in this moment, I think she was trying to at least act nice and warm because first presentations are important.

Then Gwen puts her foot in her mouth.

Okay, story time.

I am from Latin America (not Puerto Rico, but there are some cultural similarities in certain aspects;) and I remember an american friend of mine, who didn't really understand what was the big deal about Gwen using Rio's first time.

Me, and another latino friend (he was born in America but his background is Mexican,) were just mildly horrified and not just because this was established earlier (which honestly? Smart move from the movie really.)

Here is the thing, how this works depends from the culture, if the parents are immigrants themselves, children of immigrants, and also the type of environment they grew up and how they are as a person.

But for me, my friend, and a bunch of other latine people I know, you would either need to say Mr or Mrs (last name,) or (First name.) In my case, using a last name or first time depended from where I knew this adult (friend of the family, the parent of one of my friends, coworker of one of my parents, etc.)

Considering Gwen is a teen and she is "friends" with Miles and just meeting him, growing up for me I would had needed to use Mr and Mrs Morales until they told me to call them something else, if that got to happen. It would be important that I wait for them to tell me so or I would have my mother chiding at me for being disrespectful.

I am bringing this up because again, my american friend didn't know why Miles's parents were being so hard about this, but for me it made this scene all more investing by the fact that I was on the other side of this cultural discussion.

(Again, take this with a grain of salt. Rio looks like she moved from Puerto Rico to New York a good while now, and for what I gather Jeff and Aaron were born and raise in New York. So how they do things may still be different that what I can talk by personal experience.)

Also I brought those frames of Rio because 1) We see the exact moment Miles knew Gwen fucked up, and 2) While still smiling and looking cordial, we can see the shift in Rio's face.

This is important because Gwen is trying to talk warmly and excited, how she has heard so much about her and knows her first name even if Miles never officially present them.

Meanwhile Rio is probably thinking that 1) This girl cannot just be calling her by her first name just from minute and 2) Oh yeah knows her so well and doesn't know she and Jeff hate that.

Small thing, but I like how Miles goes beside Gwen as soon as he gets his mom properly standing on the water tower.

Yes, it makes sense because this is the "friend" he is presenting and he of course wants to make sure everything runs smoothly with his parents because, feelings aside, one of the friends he always talks but never shows up is finally here and he doesn't want any issues from either side.

I still adore that he went to get beside his girl as soon as possible.

We already talked about Gwen messing up by calling Rio by her first name, so I will not dwell into that.

Something I like about this scene is that when Rio and Jeff first realize Miles isn't in her room, Jeff storms up but Rio stares at the sweater. I believe this is because she was the one who notice it was from someone else while Jeff thought Miles just dipped.

Which brings me to Miles and Gwen's expression here.

Is not a huge reaction but if you watch this scene close you can realize Miles and Gwen were mildly surprised by Rio bringing this; now while it could be just at Rio having the sweater, my theory is that they are both thinking into

1) Gwen's hero costume is probably in Miles' room, considering she has a shirt showing her arms she actually is going to change to her suit later rather than having below her regular clothes like Miles.

2) They are realizing that they got into the room at one point that they didn't know, meaning they could had been caught when Gwen broke gravity for a few moments to open the portal.

3) They are both wondering if Miles' parents may think there is more going on between them because hey how often do you find clothes in your son's room of someone who you don't know, while not knowing how long that garment has been there?

Maybe there are more options that I am not thinking but for now this is what I am going with.

Brief side note but Jeff, what are you doing.

We saw Rio come from the centre, where we later see Miles go down a ladder; meanwhile Jeff instead of using that one (Even if Rio isn't on the ladder anymore and could just come behind her.) is going by one of the legs of the water tower.

He even hit his head while doing this.

I am starting to understand where Miles got his half-second thinking that normally pans well enough but not all the time or working all the way in some cases. Jeff you cannot talk shit about your kid you are the one that when having an available ladder decided to pull a Rambo and climb.

Jokes aside, is interesting how in a way, this confirms neither one here knows what to do in this situation.

Gwen is nervously trying to act out as a responsible nice girl without realizing that cultural differences can make you look disrespectful even when you are trying to be friendly.

Miles is watching this as passively as he can while probably thinking to himself that maybe Kingpin killing him didn't sound so bad right now (I know that would be my thought process if I was in his shoes.)

Rio came almost out of nowhere while looking at Gwen non-stop in a way that makes her look a bit insane when you see it closely.

And Jeff apparently needed to establish himself as someone who doesn't need to use a ladder and is completely fine after hitting his head with a random tube; is okay it was all part of the plan.

Nobody here knows what they are doing but pretend everything is fine, is hilarious.

Gwen still doesn't catches onto that being a no-no and Miles is just looking at the situation unfold but no idea what to do.

I think this is a good time as any to mention something that we all notice but I am still thankful for it: More Gwen screen time.

In the first movie, we got to see Gwen get awkward, but because the focus was mostly on Miles and Peter B, as well as being a significantly shorter movie than this one; the only significant time we see Gwen being kind of a mess while when she was trying to pretend she was a student.

This altogether makes sense because regardless if she has been Spiderwoman for two years now, she probably has never needed to infiltrate in a school and spend some days there. For me it felt plausible she was overall a collected and cool character that only stumbles in really out of there situations that no one would be sure how to do without warning.

This movie? Oh no, Gwen is just that awkward.

I think is important to highlight that 1) She didn't have too many friends, we only get multiple mentions of Peter from her past, not other friends, meaning she probably only was close to Peter and anyone else was just in o-kay terms for school but not much else, and 2) Since she has only needed to deal with May Parker; she isn't sure how to present herself when talking to the friend's parents.

Let alone the guy she is currently crushing on.

(I bet anything that at this point Miles was thinking "Oh is just downhill from here isn't?")

We talked about Gwen, let's talk about Rio and Jeff.

While I do want to have a post about them and what they do in this movie; I want to preface this by saying that while I don't approve how they are behaving here, I can get it.

Is not the worst I had seen (specially in real life, I had seen presentations like Gwen's go SO much worse.)

Rio and Jeff have no idea what going on with Miles, they notice there are lies, he is missing classes, and being unreliable; they don't know what to think. And the fact that he mentioned a bunch of names of people he claims to know but are never around, makes it look like Miles is making people up just to keep them distracting.

And then one of those mysterious people show up.

Miles is 15, and has been Spiderman for a year, while struggling to balance his personal life and his hero life. Regardless that he is head over heels for Gwen, I think is safe to say Miles never attempted to bring a girl or talk about a girl before this, because even if the girl he is crushing on wasn't in another dimension; there is no way this boy found time to date.

Which makes the other viable conclusion that Miles has been hiding this girl because she is up to no good; and doesn't help that she looks older.

(Canonically, she is 15 months older than Miles, meaning she is 16 or 17 at the latest. I think Rio was being catty when she said Gwen looked old enough to vote, but she is not that far off that range, and I could believe Gwen looks older because she is stress out for obvious reasons.)

Is not nice for Jeff and Rio to assume Gwen is automatically the reason why Miles is doing the things he is doing, but is not the craziest of conclusions.

And like they both admit later in the movie; neither Rio nor Jeff are sure how to take care of Miles now that he isn't a kid but is not an adult either.

Everyone is struggling here really.

For me, this a very face palm moment in a way, but I also think is just makes sense.

Once again, Gwen thinks she has this in the bag; her dad is a captain, she probably has met her dad's coworkers before and get along well, she probably had this exact joke with the previous Police Captain. And it was never an issue because they met her in the quality as the daughter of one of their coworkers.

But Gwen is not being judged by those standards anymore, and her dad's coworkers don't behave the same way Miles' parents do.

So I think Gwen is just trying to be chill and do the things that had work in the past, but really she isn't sure what she is doing (and I do believe Gwen is noticing this is not going smoothly,) and trying stick with the usual is somehow making things worse.

Miles finally talks in this conversation (Earlier he was just saying something to himself,) and trying to salvage this the best he can.

You know? After seeing Gwen trying to act casual and failing, Rio coming out of nowhere, and Jeff trying to act tough in ridiculous circumstances; Miles is probably the most normal one here.

He has also stuck up with Gwen's fake name; I wonder if he is trying to keep this consistent in the case Gwen used her fake name with other people in this universe and the teachers at the academy may remember her with that name.

(I don't know what's worse, that the teachers didn't notice a complete new student that came out of nowhere, with no records or similar. Or the fact that Gwen decided to use a fake name despite not being from this dimension, meaning there is nothing tracing her back; at best she was trying to avoid being linked with this universe's Gwen Stacy.)

Couldn't catch a good screenshot because this was movement, but before she said those words she was nodding a little; which I interpret as "Oh thank fuck he remembered that lie because I am not sure what to say anymore with them."

Guess who, once again, put too many images and made the post way too long. Yep.

I swear I don't know how I keep doing this.

Will post the second part of this particular scene today, hope you guys enjoy it despite how long it is!

PART 2

[trek-tracks]

hi.

I just wanted to say...I ended up landing back on your blog a while ago, following an ongoing TOS hyperfixation. it was the first time I'd looked at tumblr again in ages. and I happened to stumble across a post where you had left these tags--

and that, uh, absolutely floored me. like, when I say I didn't think anyone would notice I was gone, I don't mean that anyone did anything to make me think that--it's just, when you get a head full up with depression, it's real easy to convince yourself of things like that, you know? and you can do all kinds of positive thinking exercises to try to fight it, but actually having a concrete rebuttal come along and knock the whole narrative down is something else entirely.

it's a whole thing and I don't want to traumadump on you or anything. I just, uh, wanted to say thanks, I guess. also I now have a folder full of TOS text post memes saved, so thanks for that too.

I spent the past few days debating whether or not to answer this publicly, and please let me know if you'd rather I take it down. In the end, I think it's important that a) everyone knows I think you're awesome, and b) to send the message to everyone that more people care about you than you think. (Yes, you, reading this. I don't care what your brain says. You are important to people, even if you don't know it yet.)

I had no hope or expectation you would ever see those tags, and they are honest. You were one of my early friends on Tumblr, back when I was really seeing what this platform was all about. I loved your insights, I loved your jokes, and I always enjoyed our interactions. I saw that you were having a hard time, and I was definitely worried when you left. However, I didn't want to ask you to come back to a platform that was clearly draining to you, or be another expectation in a sea of expectations. I googled you a few times for my own peace of mind, but that's as far as it got. In this online world, sometimes it's hard to show we care without feeling awkward or overbearing.

Ultimately, though, the thing about this online world is that we also never completely disappear, especially if we interact with each other. Chains of posts and responses are snapshots of friendships, ephemera preserved in time. It's sad and fond and lovely all at once. Every once in a while, that past resurfaces, and we remember. Sometimes I wish we could know when someone is thinking about us, a little pinprick of warmth we could carry around, but maybe it'd get excessive and feel like heartburn.

I want anyone who follows this blog to know--if we're mutuals, or if you show up in my notifications every once in a while (because after my initial burst of following people I've become really remiss about adding mutuals, which is only a good thing because it would mean I'd spend even more time on Tumblr), I think about you, and I hope you're doing well. You matter.

When I say that I am thrilled that you're back and recovering, Rev, I mean it with my whole whole heart. It made my week. So often we don't get to read the next chapter of our online friends' lives, and thank you so much for updating us.

[sexyandhedonistic]

Faith (and feeling) is the secret: A small success story and what you can learn from it.

Hello, my loves. It’s been a while since I’ve made any sort of post on this blog. Today I’m going to be bringing you one of my many success stories. As someone who’s very private, I’m always skeptical about talking about any of them as they tend to be quite personal and oftentimes require me to disclose details to provide context. Even in this one, I’ll be keeping it occasionally vague and change a few insignificant details to preserve that privacy. Nevertheless, I feel good about sharing this one because I remember drawing so many comparisons and turning to a lot of what Neville himself said in his lectures and I applied what I’ve learned from beginning to end. Anyway, let’s get to the story:

This happened some time ago, it doesn’t really matter when but I had found out that a favorite artist of mine was having a concert after tickets had started going on sale. The concert was in one of my favorite cities which was a bit of distance from me so I was open to going, but not particularly compelled to. When I first heard about it, I looked up how much of the seating was occupied just to have an idea of how popular this concert was. 

I couldn’t even see the seating chart because it would halt me with a “there are no seats available at this time”. Knowing the law, if I really did want to go, what I had just read meant nothing in the slightest, so I wasn’t discouraged. I continued to check from time to time to see if anything had changed and I would bump into the same exact notice. But again, I was still open to going and what I had read held no value and my reaction was no different than if I had seen a stadium full of blue sections. It didn’t matter one bit. This went on for two months.

During that time, I found out that some of my friends were going, so now I was more interested in going as well. I hadn’t particularly assumed I would go throughout, I was always thinking of the idea rather than from it. So, although for the most part I had no solid desire to actually be there up until now, I still knew that if I wanted to, I could be. Not once through this entire time did I feel stressed nor desperate. I always had faith.

It was the month of the event and I still didn’t have seats, and then they announced a giveaway which I entered. The span to apply was approximately two weeks and they would announce a winner a week before the event. That very morning, I was still hopeful about winning. I felt good, I kept thinking about what it would be like to be in one of my favorite cities hanging out with my friends and seeing one of our favorite artists. And then I decided to induce the state akin to sleep to really place myself into that state of consciousness.

I would like to mention something very briefly here that I’m not sure whether or not I have previously brought up, but whenever I imagine during the state akin to sleep, I see it as death. What I mean by that is that I am conscious of being something I don’t want to be before I induce the SATS, and the goal should be to come out of that imaginal act conscious of being something else. That’s how you should always approach the state akin to sleep. Die to the old state and identify yourself with the new one. 

 Having already been in Los Angeles on numerous occasions, I drew the feeling from that. I recalled what the weather was like at that time of year, I remembered all of the landmarks I would pass by, I thought about how happy I would be to see my friends, how excited I would feel to see one of my favorite artists perform, and I mentally placed myself in that city. I was no longer sitting in bed within four walls miles and miles away. I was in Los Angeles. I was surrounded by the hot weather telling my friends how happy I was to see them and I heard them say it back to me. I saw the lights and the streets, I felt the butterflies of making my way to the venue and finding my seat. I took all of those feelings and really let myself sit and become fully drenched in them until I felt happy to be there. (And I remembered to think from the end and not of the end. Remember that this is key. If I simply thought about being there, it would create no shift in consciousness.) I kept focusing on that feeling, I didn’t have a particular scene in mind, I was simply focusing on the senses and the emotions of being there. I felt happy that I was able to make it, I was thinking about how glad I felt for not taking no for an answer and the memory of the present moment of me inducing the SATS was something I had done last week.

I wasn’t keeping track of the time I was in that state, but it was roughly an hour. I hadn’t slept and the sun was starting to rise when I pulled myself out. I felt satisfied with my prayer and I reminded myself that if for whatever reason I felt uncertain I could simply do the same, so I felt good. I wasn’t anxious about whether or not I had done enough because I knew praying and accepting that it was happening was all I had to do and soon enough I’d be making my way to LA. 

Then I went to sleep. The winners were to be announced in a few hours and shut my eyes assuming I would wake up to the good news. However, I didn’t win the giveaway, but I was a runner up and I was given access to purchase tickets at a heavily discounted price, which in itself was a good start to my trip to LA. I didn’t have a particular seat in mind when I saw myself there, but I did want to be close and I was (4th row from the stage). A seat that would’ve cost me about $230 went down to $60, so I snagged it. If you’re familiar with the You Are In Barbados story, this was my “Good news, Mr. Goddard” moment. It was happening.

I had my trip, I booked my flights, I prepared everything and within a week I was on my way to see so many of my favorite people in one city. I was ecstatic the entire time leading up to it and I enjoyed myself to death. The concert was on a weekend and I was back home by the time the week started. It was Tuesday and I was checking my inbox and for some reason I felt like going through my spam folder. And I came across an email that stood out to me.

It was an email from the event telling me that one of the winners hadn’t responded so I was next in line and I had won two tickets plus the opportunity to meet them. Now, I admit that I did think the giveaway was going to be the how in my story. When I induced the state akin to sleep, I didn’t visualize myself winning, I visualized myself being in LA because that was the actual end. What I most wanted was to attend the concert so that was the end I was living in. Yet, that email served as a reminder that if I really did want to meet them, I very much could have. That would’ve been the part where Abdullah would’ve told me, “Who said you are only attending? You are in Los Angeles and you met them.” If I had that desire in my heart, I would’ve remembered to remain faithful to that even after the giveaway had ended. Remember that it always comes down to persistence and brazen impudence when it comes to whatever it is that you really want. Know what you want and reject anything that isn’t it. Nothing more, nothing less.

I hope you guys enjoyed this little success story of mine and you can learn a thing or two from it. I know I’m always here providing advice to the best of my ability and this particular success story attests to the fact that I practice what I preach to you all. I’ve also told you guys before that when you all start having successes of your own, your faith in the law will only grow more and more. I speak from experience! 

So my advice to you from this story, as I always have advised:

Know what you want. Have a clear idea of your desire.

Facts aren’t important. The 3D isn’t important. 

Go straight to the end. You don’t need to become conscious of things in steps. (This is why I focused on being in LA and not on winning the giveaway.)

Have faith. Always walk by faith and not by sight.

The takeaway is to not worry about the how in the slightest, only concern yourself with what the end of your wish fulfilled looks like. It is yours if you truly want it. Focus on the end only, not anything in between. If you know circumstances don’t matter and you are limitless, that you don't need to worry about the how, the when, the why or the if, the only relevant question you should be asking yourself is the following:

Do you want it?

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

AHHH CONGRATS ON 5K YOU DESERVE IT 💙🎉

angel eyes - send me a sfw request!

I think I saw you post you made a cake a couple days ago, or it was a reblog, either way! It looked delicious and made me think of a neighbor or someone making Peter Parker a birthday cake after No Way Home. Cause the thought of him being alone on his birthday makes me wanna sob 🥹😭

a/n: yes!! I did bake a cake the other day! it was delicious

word count: 710

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

masterlist | join my taglist |  join my 5k celebration! 

Head tilted to the side, resting against the banister, you finally perked up when the figure you had been waiting for finally appeared, “Peter!” you shot up from your spot at the top of the stairwell, “hi!”

Faintly startled by your unexpected presence, he quickly plucked out the ear pods and sputtered, “oh, hey, Y/n,” slowly climbing the remainder of the steps as he carefully found your eye, “what’s, um-, what’s up? Why are you sitting out here?”

Sucking in a deep breath, you asked him straight out, “are you busy right now?”

“No,” he drew out in a curious tone. 

“Really?” your smile grew, “okay, well, I kinda have something I wanna show you.” 

“Me? You-, you wanna show me?” his eyebrows shot up as he gesticulated towards himself, “uh, alright.” 

Ushering him with you, it didn’t take long before you were both stepping over the threshold into your apartment, your legs instantly carrying you towards the fridge. 

Ripping it open, you grabbed the tall treat dominating the entire middle shelf and gingerly turned to present it to your neighbour, “tada!”

“Wow, that’s-,” taking in the airy cream and fresh berries adorning the top, he blurted, “you baked a cake!” though still with an air of confusion as to why you wanted him to witness it.

“I baked you a cake,” you clarified. 

Mouth falling open, he uttered, “you what?”

“Happy birthday,” you said giddily, though your grin swiftly melted as he just continued to stand there completely and utterly stunned, “oh, wait, is it not your birthday?” you checked nervously, “I just remember that you told me you’re a leo,” you rambled, thinking back to the day that he moved in and the random things your scattered brain thought was crucial to ask him, for some reason questions about his astrological chart and his favourite movie as a child happened to be the kind of queries you bombarded your new neighbour with as soon as you first met him, “and then a few weeks ago I just couldn’t stop thinking about it and so I asked our landlord, and he said the 10th of August, but maybe he was wrong…”

As if finally coming back to life, Peter breathed, “you baked me a cake?”

“Yeah…” embarrassment bubbling within your belly, you sat the heavy platter down on the counter, “so when is it really your birthday? I can bake you another one then if you want, unless you don’t like cake in which I can whip up something else, anything you’d-,”

“No, it is my birthday today,” he informed you, interrupting your babbling offer. 

“It is?” you felt the nauseating butterflies begin to settle within your stomach. 

“It is,” he finally returned your smile, “and I do like cake by the way.”

“Oh well, happy birthday then!” you pushed the cake towards him, “do you have any fun plans?”

“No,” he glanced down at the baked good and thought out loud, “I honestly haven’t really been looking at what date it is lately, I mean, I knew it would happen sometime around this week, but I didn’t know it was today…”

“Oh…” you then awkwardly found yourself offering, “well, I can be your personal calendar any time, if you’re interested,” instantly wincing at yourself, your cheeks heating up at how awkwardly swoon-worthy your spurted words had sounded, “anyways, this is yours,” you gestured to the cake, hoping to draw attention away from your flush, “take it and go enjoy your birthday, and I won’t take up any more of your precious time.”

Cake in hand, Peter stopped again before he could reach the exit, “hey Y/n?”

“Hm?” you glanced up, hoping that the blush had faded by now.

“Are you busy right now?” he softly echoed your question from before out in the hallway, “because, I mean, this is a lot of cake, and it would look pretty sad if I just sat and ate it all by myself.”

“Really?” you sucked in an excited breath, immediately grinning from ear to ear, “yeah! Yes! Of course-, I mean,” you finally noticed your blatant eagerness and attempted to recover with a graceless, “uh, sure, that sounds lovely, of course I’ll hang out with you on your day of birth…”

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