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rxttenfish · 6 months ago

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Asking because I’m extremely curious about this, how did MonProm’s writing get different over time? I remember you saying that the lore and characters feel different, and that it's missing sincere character interactions, too. I know almost nothing about the lore and I’ve only seen a few people mention the characters, so I’d be interested in a rundown of what aspects you think got worse in the series

I wouldn’t mind a very long response since I’m not that active in the fandom, I need to catch up on what happened

sorry for taking so long to answer this! i kinda waffled on it for a long bit, mainly because i started doubting myself again, and whether or not this was me simply overreacting or being tinted by nostalgia or simply being extremely picky and choosy in what i like (the last of which is true, i seldom get into fandoms at all for this reason and stay away from most popular media, but i wasn't sure if it applied here). i've posted about it already, but i'm in the middle of a psychotic episode where i can't feel a lot of pleasure to begin with + most things i do experience ending up solidly in the "very bad" category, so as you can imagine, i really didn't want to mislead and check that i was actually in objective reality.

as it is, this is also when a lot more screenshots started to be posted in the monster prom tag, and that helped me bridge the gap back into returning to the games themselves and feel like i was making a more accurate judgement. if you're one of those people who have been posting screenshots, i sincerely thank you, and i appreciated seeing you in the tag greatly.

for those not in the know — i've been in the monster prom fandom since it first released, prior to even the first additional ending to be added (the "Punch the sun" ending, and i recall the minor fandom drama that happened at that time due to it). my impression of monster prom is very much influenced by this, as what got me into the first game was the fact that the characters genuinely seemed to care for each other and were friends with each other (not merely tolerating each other's presences nor dressing it up, they sincerely thought of each other as friends and were open about that fact), on top of the wide variety of small details and statements that, if taken at face value, could create compounding complexity in the lives of each and every character and had wider implications for their lives.

no, they were not necessarily explored nor even necessarily "real", with so many conflicting events and statements, but i liked this too, because it meant a wider flexibility in what you could imagine, helping to create a more tailored experience for everyone who thought about these characters. this was what i liked about the early fandom too. what was baseline "canon" was so vague and minimal that you could have wildly different interpretations of the same characters' histories and relationships with each other. you would have radically different perspectives on what the world itself looked like, what it was like, that there wasn't really any wrong answers so long as their personalities remained the same. this is where you got the old headcanon of polly and liam being childhood friends who knew each other as humans, or that the world of monster prom was post-apocalypse where humanity itself had gone extinct or only existed in tiny pockets, or my personal headcanon that both monster and human society existed right next to each other and had minimal crossover for petty cultural reasons. this was also prior zoe-as-ro, and there were wildly different interpretations of zoe's personality, with most going for a far more disquieting creepy-cute than the deep nerd we got.

this is why you get stuff like the timeloop theory, where everyone is repeating the same weeks leading up to prom over and over, and are perhaps vaguely aware of it but broadly unconcerned. this is also why it felt like the joke that, the characters were still in high school but were all fully legal adults with most in their 20's, best landed, because it was absurd and strange and didn't quite make sense, but the world itself was inherently absurd and semi-malleable to begin with. realistically, i felt like everyone understood it was making fun of the trope of having adults play teenagers in american sitcoms and wildly casting outside the age range, but for more in-universe explanations it wasn't any different from the way that you would have a large, dramatic ending in which everything changed, but then you'd restart and everyone would be right back at the beginning with nothing different, or even having conflicting events in the same run. it was a dream-logic that fit with the tropes and, thus, diagetically made sense.

to be clear, i don't mind canon having a set, well, canon on which it refers back to itself. i don't mind expanding that or including more things which are set in stone. but there was a perceivable shift in how the games handled this over time, becoming a lot more... bitter, it felt, towards all of these different branching ideas and concepts that, yeah, the people making them knew wouldn't necessarily be "canon" because "canon" already liked to contradict itself so much. most people weren't even sold on any one idea, and there was a much greater sense of enjoying and appreciating all the varying ideas people would come up with even if you personally didn't share them. making the characters be out of character was the real crime, because then it didn't diagetically make sense in the same way, didn't wholly fit.

(again, this is not to say fanon didn't happen and characters weren't smoothed down into a simplified personality that fit these varying fan-interpretations instead of the game itself. certainly damien love/lust was just as bad as it had ever been, and everyone loved to mangle his character into a more stereotypical "bad boy with a heart of hold" all the time. but it certainly felt less set-in-stone about it than it does now, with any deviation from the norm being considered strange and odd and even broadly shunned from the wider fandom.)

all of this is setup for establishing what the writing, lore, and characters felt like in the earlier days. the characters were the strongest part, with their relationships to each other being equally as important. the lore played it fast and loose and was far less interested in setting anything in concrete because that wasn't the important part. the lore wasn't the important part, which was what made it all the more intoxicating to think about, all the more fun to play with.

montrip is easily the biggest offender when it comes to setting everything in all-or-nothing terms and demanding absolutism from the world. broadly i blame the hitchhiker conversations for the worst of it, but i think ultimately the way they handled the entire premise of the game is where this problem stems from. it's not really an exploration in the same sense that you might explore the first game, discovering different perspectives and different people with different relationships to each other. it's an exploration in the sense of a sequel that over-explains the monster, that takes the most boring option out of all those that were possible and floating around and settles on something that was blatant, obvious, typically rejected not because of how novel it is but how trite and par for the course it is in the rest of the genre.

yeah, okay. humans know nothing about monsters and there's a "monster dimension" that exists separately from the human dimension. there's no crossover between the two of them. of course there's a big grand-scale fight between the eldritch powers that zoe used to be a part of, from which not only are slayers the main organization against them, but also the merkingdom has some horse in this race too. it's an urge to make things so universal in explaining them, in revealing connecting threads which unite everything that's ever happened in here, that makes the worldbuilding and lore immediately much more boring than it ever was before.

and it didn't have to be this way! nothing in the first game contradicts any of this too explicitly (see the above, the first game loves to contradict itself), and i would even be happy if this was basically canon but never stated or confirmed to be the big overarching everything going on underneath it all. i believe you should probably know these things about any world that you create and have them in the back of your mind. the difference is that you can know these things and keep them in mind, even focusing on things where its very relevant, and still not reveal them. this is why you have lore bibles, after all. every horror writer knows exactly how their monster works and the full underlying reason for everything that happens, but that doesn't mean the audience will see it or possess this same information too, and leaving it intentionally obscure will make far better stories.

which, this is bad enough, but it wouldn't be the breaking point for me if this was all there was.

but the worst thing of all has to be the slow decay of the very same characters that sold me on this world, this lore, this game in the first place. monster prom is nothing without the characters in it. it's a dating sim, it has nothing but characters to get you to play, and liking these characters are the entire reason anyone would pick up monster prom in the first place.

and the first game pulls this off extremely well. it's all in the tagline: be your worst self. they are, indeed, all terrible people. yes, even that character that you just thought of right now. they all have points in the game where they commit atrocities, where they kill or hurt people, where they do inexcusable things that could not be ignored in a more serious setting.

but that's the point. i think there's something very powerful in creating a character who not only do you love and love their personality and the way they interact with the world, but who also are inapologetically terrible, and to have the humor and the charisma be so good that you don't get bogged down in the "this is awful". likewise, it never feels the urge to really go out of its way to justify what's going on. this is not to say theres no discussion of if someone "deserved it", but usually there's still the sense that the joke is on them, that this is still an extreme reaction specifically for comedy and not necessarily something that can be justified. you can have damien set leonard on fire and have it feel earned, without prompting the needed reaction of what it's actually like to watch someone burn to death.

this is what sets the prank masterz ending apart from the rest of the game, and really establishes it as the first real "bad ending". because nothing that you do or happens in the prank masterz ending is any different from anything else that happens in any other run. you summon evil beings from other dimensions as a throwaway gag on how visiting one location raises your stats. you kill other people and damn them to terrible fates. you watch as body horror happens. the only difference is that, in the prank masterz ending, the laugh track doesn't play.

the rest of the game and the writing echoes this philosophy, this careful interplay of tropes that keeps everything tongue in cheek and yet sincere enough to make sure emotional beats still land when they're needed. the characters feel true to themselves and their own emotions, even when the world is extreme and excessive, when everything else runs on comedy logic.

this is also what i noticed failing first as time went on.

like i said, fanon has always existed and there's always been very specific ideas as to what characters are like in the same way fanon always flattens down characters into the same tropes over and over. scott is stupid and innocent and doesn't know what sex is. damien is violent and hot and too cool for anyone else. miranda is the idiot girl character. repeat over and over and over until you get sick of it.

but it's been an issue as time has crept on that canon has started to approach fanon and began to merge with it. now, scott is so innocent that he can't even curse. polly starts being mean to her friends and saying things that would be very hurtful to hear. the merkingdom isn't really super evil and fucked up, it's just miranda that's like that. they become simpler, easier to digest, streamlined for social media posts and mass-sharing. they become less and less subversions of existing tropes and moreso just another example of them, something else to add to the collection, not their own individual stories.

even further from this, what more complex traits they had are now stated and not shown. polly is stated to be smart and clever in a way that her party girl persona doesn't imply and to be sincerely rather down to earth with the people she cares about, but we seldom ever see this anymore unless its the game specifically trying to make a point about it, in which case it won't let her do anything that implies cleverness and moreso will just outline it in the narration. vera is stated to care for people in a very genuine and heartfelt way, but seldom will get a chance to do so, and every opportunity for her to do so to their faces is missed while she will just outright state it later. it does not feel consistent, it does not feel like any of these are intended reads of their actions. it feels like the devs have something they want to do but no idea on how to actually do so. and forget it if you want these traits to manifest in small ways that show up in unrelated moments and scenes.

the dialogue becomes harder and harder to tell between each speaker, if you are just looking at what's said and not at the pictures attached to it. the characters' distinct voices have been eroded away, so that they speak more and more like each other, relaying the same terms and ideas in the same words. perspective becomes a suggestion, instead of a must.

this is something that started back in monster camp too, as all of the endings in that game felt ultimately the same as every other ending. it's very hard to place or define the full reason why, why there feels like there's no emotional stakes nor investment, why everything feels moreso like selecting different coats of paint and trying to find all the different ending pictures rather than being interested in exploring the characters as characters.

stranger yet, the series that started with the tagline of "be your worst self" has experienced a kind of... softening, for lack of a better word? what i mentioned about being able to handle the balance between terrible people who do terrible things and the light tone of the game starts to change, as abruptly the same characters who were down with violent murder in the first game start to lose their nerve, acting more and more on more typical morality. it's one of those things that feels like it's starting to damage the tone, as abruptly it's not as absurd as it used to be, demands less suspension of disbelief which could buffer and support the rest of the setting on it. there's even a part in one of the endings in montrip which involves current-polly and current-scott looking back on their monprom selves and reacting in horror at how violent and careless their pranks are, in a way that fundamentally felt like it was undercutting and disparaging all the things that felt fun and made monprom what it was.

which is odd, really, because more and more i feel like the characters in these games like each other less and less. the friendships and genuine enjoyment of each others company that brought me to this game in the first place has gone. now they don't mention each other as much, don't care for each other's feelings and reactions as much, aren't as willing to support each other. they are more and more found on their own, relied on their own, seem to seek out contact and interaction with their own friends less and less. it feels like they're all separating out into their own worlds, but also feels like they wouldn't willingly want to interact with each other if they weren't already forced together by some other outside contrivance.

if anything, i'd compare it to every other dating sim out there, where you, the player, are the most important person in these characters' lives, and they only feel ambivalent or antagonistic towards every other character. which, again, is not why i picked up monster prom or why i liked it so much in the first place.

and it's because of this that it feels like the current state of the series has to focus on its increasingly weak worldbuilding and lore, trying to form a more serious foundation without character relationships being so tightly bound together, without the characters themselves being more developed and rich, without an aspect of absurd humor to rely on.

more and more i've noticed monprom has to rely on referencing other series to make itself funny and create humor, which, again, it's always done. it was just easier to ignore back then, if you didn't know what was being referenced, because there was always more going on in the exact same scene to bolster it and give context clues as to the setup and punchline at play. it feels like the current games are much more dependent on you knowing pop culture references in order to have any fun with it, and i'm someone who, again, is very picky in what i like or what i'll seek out. i'm not interested in a stream of references about other things that i would much rather be doing than playing through a game that feels like it hates that i like it at all, when i could, again, just be engaging with the thing that takes itself seriously and knows what it wants.

#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#monster prom #asks #vanillabeenflower #this is. so long i am so sorry.#and its still not my entire thoughts because i have so many thoughts #this is an unedited ramble tbh and im very sorry for that #i have more complaints like #how fucking snide and condescending the narration is to its own characters #which it already had but gets even worse in the later games #which is why despite loving aaravi i dont want to play moncamp at all #where a character says they like something or feel something and the narration has to be so. sarcastic about it?#like how i mentioned about how it feels like how its looking down on them as people #instead of whats probably the intended read which is #more jokingly calling them dumb in an affectionate way like how you might do with friends #and ofc theres the whole miranda rant #i hate what theyve done with the merkingdom and i HATE adrien as a concept i wont lie #just. cool. this female character is too stupid to count as a lore character. we obviously need a MALE character to fill in instead #we cant just have miranda talk about this or center any of the other female characters #and how they feel about this and whats going on for them #no we need to make up a new man to talk to instead #im. im still really bitter about it i wont lie.#like i said i could go on and get way more specific about it #i just feel like any and all emotional weight to this has died and the characters are more and more obviously actors on a stage #for your own self gratification rather than their own people living their own lives #this is so bitter and i really shouldnt put this in the main tag #i am so sorry everyone who will see my rant. but my peace must be made.#dont worry im already asking myself if im just making all this shit up myself #what if some of us liked that the characters were so mean to the player and had no qualms about aggressively rejecting us #because it gave some illusion of them being able to make their own choices and decisions in what they wanted

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azumasoroshi · 2 years ago

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i have no idea what episode this is part 2

part 2 of this post i think?? tbh i found the clip in some random youtube video i have no idea if this takes place directly after or not and im just judging based on the time of day/setting

(i actually did search through like. the last few episodes of season 1 and the first few episodes of shou and i couldnt find shit so i'm assuming that this episode happened in one of the places i didnt check. not for lack of trying but because the website i was using straight up died on the spot trying to load them all so quickly)

(edit: it's episode 16 of durarara season 1 ty @/pineapplething)

this screenshot is killing me actually. i had to pause instead of doing the 0.25 speed thing because i need his hands to be on his hips so it looks like he's just. staring down at the thing judgingly. izaya's pose is so funny because right before that he's like

'what the fuck are you doing shizu-chan'

i forget the context of this scene too but like. why wasnt he pointing the knife at shizuo?? what were they doing. bro i love not having ANY context whatsoever and being too lazy to look up the actual episode

anyway babygirl looks so ugly in those shots god bless

bro why you arching your back like that 🤨

in front of izaya too. god

the way they have four separate reaction shots for izaya. bro the things that must've been going on through his head were NOT safe for work on god.

the way he says 'seriously' and then remembers to point the knife like bro had to take a second. he was processing. he almost looks enamored in that first shot actually (<- delusional)

izaya's rectangle prism ass never ceases to amaze. glad he keeps that in both art styles

shizuo looks so funny from this angle i bet you could get the most unhinged smear frames every time he goes rage mode

can we get like an angry shizuo aesthetic moodboard except it's all either low quality or smear frames. it'd be really funny trust

also incredible how shizuo can extend the length of the guard rail to like. twice its size. it was not that big in the previous images. i wonder if that's a metaphor for something

god these SUCKED to get pictures of because celty comes in so fast and there's no indication of when the frames will switch but i do it for you (im doing this for me. im obsessed. i have a final on tuesday for the class i have a B in but actually i think it's a D now)

these would probably be much easier to screenshot if i just downloaded the videos but why would i do that when i can press the back arrow key 50 zillion times and listen to the crunchy 0.25 audio explode every time shizuo opens his mouth

this image gets me every time ugh they almost look like they were having a casual conversation or smth (<-delusional)

just. arch enemies both being distracted by something long enough to stop beefing with each other does something to me. i dont even know it doesnt have to be romantic i just like watching it (although it's usually romantic because im a sucker for enemies to/and lovers if you couldnt tell by my usual ships)

that's the end of this scene (or at least the youtube clip of it. you cannot ask me to load all those anime episodes again) but like man. good shit ill be replaying this in my brain for the next week or so

#shizaya #if anyone knows what episode this is...please tell me...im dying #im pretty sure it's sometime in shou and probably near the end but i cant load ittttttt #i need to know what happens after this so i can write a canon divergent fanfic of it where they go home and bang #izaya orihara #shizuo heiwajima #durarara

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todorroki · 5 months ago

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Terrible Fathers The Series (Love Sea ep 3 thoughts)

i think this show is so funny. like i'm enjoying the beauty, the vibes, and the emotional moments for the first 50 minutes then suddenly BOOM peat's moaning then 5 minutes later i have a tear in my eye from fort's acting. i'm being swung around on Mame's Crazy Coaster. do not ask me what's going on. i'm having too much fun to answer.

also rip anyone who watches this ep on iq's web player. they're unable to display text in italics AND song lyric translations overtake actual dialogue. what is this terrible user experience. and you gotta pay for it!!!!!

if love sea is going to give me one thing, it's gonna be BEAUTIFUL SHOTS. my god i could go on and on taking so many screenshots of this episode especially.

i feel like we're getting more of the girls' relationship in the series compared to the book, which is a Good sign. last week's preview of 'will you be my girlfriend?' got me good. someone correct me if i'm wrong, but i don't remember fake dating happening in the book.

and the plot gears finally start turning this week! rak gets a call from his panicked sister about their father showing up, which causes him to hole up in his room. that in turn gives us serious mut (thank u for that.. fort looks So hot when he's being stern and assertive) and the sweet star gazing scene. i don't want to say much about rak's family because i feel like i might spoil something LMAO

one of my favorite scenes so far is when they go in the waters at night my GOD IM SO GODDAMN WEAK FOR A BRIDAL CARRY I CHEERED!!!!!! and the kiss in the water was ROMANTIC AS HELL. i'm so thankful for the entire production team for this scene. the waves were so strong yet they were all in the water doing their best to film. it must've been really challenging and difficult, so kudos to everyone. i, for one, am very proud of this whole part.

someone.. more peat in glasses please!! rak waiting for mut to fall asleep so he can cuddle him is sooo cute. i love their puppycat relationship. so many soft, heart-warming moments in this episode.

now onto the series of events in mut's house. plus points for the sunlight behind them in this kiss scene. idk anything about cinematography but it felt mesmerizing in a way.

the audible OH! i yelled when they REALLY started Kissing after mut's little trauma dump. I'M NOT COMPLAINING THOUGH comfort him every ep if you want >:) i'll take as many ncs as they wanna Give. i got duped by the first quick fade to black like 'oh ok so they're not-- NEVERMIND!'

gonna go into nc detail for a second here but i'm so glad we have nip sucking this ep. i was waiting for that. love sea Does Not miss in the nc department. ALSO DUDE WHEN DID FORTS TIDDIES GET SO BIG

AND THEN the best scene this episode: emotional mut, a showcase of fort's acting ability. i teared up a bit. it was soo so soft.

the angles, the lighting. BEAUTIFUL beautiful scene. i could not put it into words how much i adored this part. mut's difficulty in asking him to stay, rak telling him to keep being himself, them stroking each other's fingers with their hands intertwined, mut's little giggle when rak agrees, rak's laugh, the flurry of kisses after.. I LOVE ROMANCE!!!

i predicted right, we're going back to the city next episode. i can't say i'm too excited because i love the island setting too much, but the dreamlike vacation doesn't last forever!! the plot must move.

also ps they fixed rak's missing audio line in ep 2. i was rewatching a few days ago and finally heard it LMAO at least they're aware...

#love sea the series #love sea #bl drama ramble

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lierenprotectionsquad · 2 years ago

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This is my favourite episode in the entire series so far. I had some theories for what was so special about this episode and I got a few right, actually. Some, of course, by a technicality, but still very good to see.

I’ve marked the ones I got right, and I’ll keep the ones I didn’t for future chapters.

THIS WILL NOT BE IN APPEARANCE ORDER BUT RATHER IN ORDER OF HOW IT'S WRITTEN DOWN IN MY LIST!

Old Man Jaune Backstory

We start the episode with Jaune falling the same way Ruby did at the start of the volume, and him following after Crescent Rose. He finds the clock tree, which sends him back in time several decades. Jaune spends probably thirty years in depression (with a short intermission, but we'll get to that in a bit) until he sees team RWBY fall from the sky.

Old Man Jaune Turns Back Into Normal Jaune (technicality)

We see an image of normal Jaune in the wiggly woggly water slime goo thing while they walk on the weird road.

Alyx Shows Up

We find out the truth about Alyx's story and that she had a brother named Luis. Jaune becomes the Rusted Knight and leads them through the Ever After. He is troubled by the intense difference in Alyx's characterization in the book verse the real Alyx, and soon learned Alyx wasnt just a petulant child, but selfish and cruel. She poisoned Jaune and sacrificed her brother, who was kind and clever.

Penny Shows Up (technicality)

We Jaune painfully looking away from an image of Penny in the wiggly woggly water slime goo thing while they walk on the weird road. Although I didn't think she'd be back back, i did think Jaune's memory of her would talk to him, tell him it's okay. But there's nothing dictating that that can't still happen later.

Summer Rose Shows Up (technicality)

When Ruby passes the first wiggly woggly water slime goo thing, we see a blink-and-you'll-miss-it image of Summer Rose following all of Ruby's movements like a mirror. Same as with Penny, to be honest, but Ruby's memory of Summer talking to her seems much more likely than Penny. Maybe even Yang's memoty of Summer talking to her. They're bound to remember her differently. I don't think Summer will be alive in the sense that she can come back, they played the Hound up way too much last volume for that to happen, so if we were to get a Red Like Roses part 3, it would probably be when Ruby's facing off against the Big Bad Wolf (grimmified Summer)

Bumbleby Does The Smoochie Smooch + Bumbleby Say The Love Words

In a dramatic standoff at two unfinished rope bridges meeting on a platform, Yang and Blake are forced to finally be open and honest about their feelings for one another. Clearly, the Ever After was also tired of their bullshit and decided enough is enough. Blake tells Yang to just say it and Yang tells her she loves her at the same time Blake says she loves her too. They finally come together and make out. Btw, right when they kissed, my sister’s computer died. I swear, I almost cried! At lease it didn’t happen right before the kiss.

Everyone was happy they finally stopped beating around the bush. to quote Jaune, "feels like I've been waiting forever for that."

I actually got quite a few correct, huh? Legit my favourite episode, hands down. I'm so excited for next week.

Every who sees this, please have a glass of water, you have no idea how much I needed it after this episode.

This screenshot doesn't mean anything, I just like it

#try calling bumbleby queerbait now haters!#ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #jaune arc #alyx rwby #penny polendina #summer rose #bumbleby #rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 9 #rwby volume 9 spoilers #rwby v9 #rwby v9 spoilers #rwby 9 #rwby 9 spoilers #shut up sparky

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year ago

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Okay, quick Taskmaster liveblogging this week. I’m fucking exhausted after a long and shitty week at work, I got home from work just after 7 PM, made myself some food, and I am now very pleased to get to sit down with a meal and the new Taskmaster episode. I do not have the energy to do what I sometimes do with these, which is take notes constantly through the whole episode. But I know I’ll want to say some things about it. So I will use this document as a thing to write down quick little things when they occur to me occasionally, rather than trying to cover the whole episode. It’s nice to have this back in my life for nine more weeks (well, eight more now, I guess).

Thoughts on Taskmaster s16e02, written as I watch it:

- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the funniest introductions are the ones where Greg pretends that Alex is right-wing for no reason.

- “Best sign” – I’m amazed that wasn’t taken already. You’d think Taskmaster would be out of the one-word ones, which is why they have to use “most < adjective > < noun >”, instead of just “most < adjective >” thing or “best < noun >”. But there’s still more stuff to do. I like that one, open-ended enough to leave room for interpretation, but still some solid boundaries they’ll have to stay within.

- It feels a bit like cheating for Sue Perkins to use her celebrity stories to garner points against people who just can’t compete with a story of the time Claudia Winkleman helped her steal a sign from the BBC. But I did enjoy that one.

- God, do I ever want to go to the British Library with Sam Campbell and steal shit. I think he wins in terms of aspirational stories, I’d rather rob the British Library with Sam Campbell than rob the BBC studios with Claudia Winkleman.

- I have seen the first three seasons of Meet the Richardsons (did not watch season 4 this year and I think I’ll probably leave it there, but I’m not sorry I watched it), and it’s definitely not the best show in the world, but one of my favourite parts was how cool that pub looked. That’s aspirational, it’s exactly the sort of thing I’d do if I had the money that they have. Make a full pub in your backyard where you can get the nice feeling of a pub but without the drawbacks, such as people you don’t know being in it and having to commute there and back (particularly bad, after drinking). Fucking lovely. The Jon Richardson I got attached to from radio 8 Out of 10 Cats/early Catsdown hasn’t existed for a long time, and that’s probably for the best and I’m glad he’s gone off to be happy even if I don’t find him as entertaining anymore, but I did enjoy seeing that pub in Meet the Richardsons like an example of success. Good for him. Nice prize, Lucy. You’re right, there is a warm feeling to it.

- Sammy C bringing his own equipment to the tasks. Following on from a couple of things he did last week, establishing a pattern of him doing things as a bit, because they are comedic, but also they happen to possibly give him an advantage in points. As someone who is backing him like he’s a sports team to win this season, I approve of this pattern.

- Listen, strange women standing around in Chiswick pulling on facsimile swords is no basis for a system of government. But I don’t know, maybe we should let Lucy Beaumont try running the UK for a year and see where they end up.

- I thought I wasn't going to do screenshots in this episodes, because these posts take so much longer when I stop to copy screenshots. But I have to say, the first proper laugh came from Sue throwing away the comment "I mean I want to go Widdicombe", then stopping, realizing what she'd just said, and you can watch the answer hit her:

Aw, I've just remembered the existence of that panel show hosted by Sue Perkins with Josh Widdicombe and Richard Osman as team captains, Insert Name Here. Slightly flimsy premise, uneven guests and execution, but three people who are so good at being on panel shows that it entertained me all the way through anyway.

I watched that show about 2 years ago when I was mainly into panel shows and thought Josh Widdicombe was a brilliant TV comedian who just happened to make not-great stand-up - now that I'm more into stand-up than panel shows, that flaw seems more significant than it used to. Also, I've given up on The Last Leg because they've gone all pro-monarchy but also if I'm honest they've been leaning toward the bland centre for a while (though I maintain that it had some years of being much better than that). But there was a time when Josh Widdicombe was one of my favourites of all these comedians, I still think he's very good on panel shows, so I'm enjoying his little cameo here (I did guess that Widdicombe was the answer as soon as Sue said "Devon", because what the hell else is from Devon?). Nice to honour both the first Taskmaster champion, and the first two-time champion.

On the subject of Sue Perkins and Josh Widdicombe existing in the same universe, aside from their endearing panel show Insert Name Here, remember that time when Sue Perkins went on The Last Leg wearing a Patti Smith shirt and one time she messed up her hair for no reason and I had to save that as a gif because I think it might be the cure for female heterosexuality?

- Watching this task for the second time, now that I know the answer. Obviously the foot that says “Greg” is a reference to Josh getting Greg’s name tattooed on his foot during season 1. “Devon” is where he’s from, as he talks about every time he’s on TV. But how does he make his hair smart? Is it just a reference to the fact that for a long time he was known for a particular haircut? Am I forgetting about something in the Josh Widdicombe canon (I say “forgetting” rather than “not knowing” because I have seen a hell of a lot of the things he’s done, including hundreds of hours of The Last Leg, arguably too many hours of The Last Leg…)? You’d think it would just be a reference to something he did on Taskmaster, like the tattoo. The main things Josh Widdicombe did on Taskmaster besides get a tattoo, I think, was count beans and fail to guess the rules of Alex Squash.

With Diamonds Come Bears was such an opaque club that they had to put it on the screen for us to understand it even once we did know the answer, but apparently the letters kind of line up. Then there’s that family tree showing how he’s descended from royalty, which he worked out from Who Do You Think You Are, and now talks about it every time he��s on TV.

- Interrupting my list of Widdicombe clues to say, why did Sam Campbell say Katherine Ryan has nothing to do with hair but “Bob Mortimer, that’s hair!” One of those people has objectively more hair than the other, and it’s not the one he described as “that’s hair!”.

- Did no one think before setting this task to check that Julian Clary has heard of Josh Widdicombe? That was pretty funny, watching Julian Clary walk around being unable to finish a task because he doesn't know Josh Widdicombe's name. Come on, Taskmaster, the small and nasally man with the short hair got a tattoo for this show. He does not deserve to have an entire task set up to emphasize the fact that Julian Clary doesn't know his name (he does, it was quite funny).

- Alex Horne, before this season started (paraphrased because I cannot be bothered to look up the actual quote): One contestant in particular put me in my place.

Julian Clary: "What sorts of people enjoy this show? Is it students?" "You're interesting, aren't you? Would you call yourself a charismatic man?"

- Susan Wokoma declaring that sexy dog subverts stereotypes made me laugh, Julian Clary referencing his dead art teacher very much added to that. I've watched most of the second task by now without stopping to write much because it's getting late and I'm tired, but that was fun.

- Lovely titled drop from Susan Wokoma. Very well delivered "Hell is here." She was kind of the quiet one last episode, is definitely making more of a mark this time.

- Look, if I wanted to be pedantic, I could make the argument that Sam Campbell's picture was much better than everyone else's and showed off artistic skill that clearly the others do not have, even though Sue Perkins' drawing was quite amusing, and therefore Sam deserved the five points alone. I mean, technically it was the best cheeky picture, not the cheekiest picture, and no matter how cheeky Sue's picture was, it wasn't as good a picture as Sam's. And if Sam Campbell loses this whole season to Sue Perkins by one point, I will absolutely be repeatedly making that argument that he was robbed in this task. But okay, fine, the idea of Sue Perkins making a dick joke is amusing. And yes, I'm aware that I'm watching Taskmaster wrong.

- Secret task gets mentioned again. I think the funniest option would be if it does exist, but it's useless. Like if there's a secret task somewhere telling them to do something huge and difficult and time-consuming and they have several months to do it and they have to bring it to the studio to complete it, and someone does do that, and then it's worth like half a point. Yeah it's a joke they've done before, but not for a while. They've used the idea sparingly enough in recent seasons so I think they could bring it back.

- Lucy Beaumont doing mischief by being an unethical fake psychic pretending to communicate with the dead to swindle people is a bit of a weird light given that I now know she does genuinely, literally believe in ghosts.

- Hang on. Hang on. Are they allowed to do that? They can set tasks for each other? A genuine first in a Taskmaster history, I'm almost sure. Susan Wokoma is out here re-inventing the game. I kind of want to know if anyone else in Taskmaster history has tried to affect one of their competitors' games and been told they're not allowed to, because if so, that's not fair to them that Susan could. But if she was the first person to think of it, then fair play to her.

To stop watching Taskmaster wrong (like a sports fan) for a moment and start watching it right (like a comedy fan), God that was funny. Watching Sam Campbell stand up and sit down and be so earnest about it and genuinely engaged and find a workaround to draw extra mice for extra points, while knowing it was all for nothing, was very funny. It's Widdicombe counting beans again. It's the thing I think they should do with the secret task. It's really funny to watch someone try hard when we know something they don't.

- After pretending to smash up Alex Horne's phone, I waited for what Sam Campbell would say, as he's had great lines throughout this show so far. But actually, I think leaving the room after saying nothing was the funniest thing he could have done. Solid instincts there.

- Sam Campbell threatens to make a prank phone call. Julian Clary writes prank longhand letters. The generational divide, everyone.

- Well, normally in my posts, I start out writing relatively little about things, and write more and more as the post goes along, so the things I write about later in the post get expanded on way more than the earlier things. This one is the opposite, because as I said, it's late and I've gotten more tired as it's gone along.

So I've finished the episode. I enjoyed the live task. I do always like the "do something while keeping eye contact with Greg" tasks. The main thing I have to say about that live task is... I don't know if this is quite the hardest I've laughed at season 16 so far. But it's definitely the longest. As in, I'm exhausted right now, I worked long hours today and long hours yesterday and it a few really stressful days and a long week and it's fairly late and I feel like my brain is fried, and for reasons I definitely cannot fully explain (if pressed, I could explain maybe about 20% of why this happened, at the most), this exact frame made me laugh uncontrollably for several minutes:

I just paused the video, stared at the screen, and could not stop laughing. There's a cat my lap the looked annoyed about it. Every time I tried to play the video again and move on with my life, I'd look at some new part of it and keep laughing. I took a screenshot so I can have it forever. The 20% that I can explain about why that happened does, again, involve using the word "earnest" to describe Sam Campbell's expression.

I also enjoyed Sue and Julian drawing the same thing (people who are older than the other contestants and also more famous than the other contestants and also gay are on the same wavelength as each other, apparently). And I liked Lucy Beaumont's peas.

I also enjoyed them bringing in another NZ task as the tiebreaker. Well done to Sue. I always like watching the rote memorization tasks, mainly because that's a skill I enjoy practising myself and I like to see if I can beat the contestants at it. I used to know pi to lots of places, back in high school, but I couldn't do that now. Could I memorize more digits than Sue did in the same number of seconds? Don't know, and am not awake enough to try it right now. Some other time.

I'm now going to sleep for a number of hours with two digits in it. Maybe three.

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aprillikesthings · 9 months ago

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Can I squeeze in one more tonight let's find out

(and then it's time for an edible, a shower, and the last chapter of that kinky Adora/Huntara fic that I mentioned in this post)

s3 ep3 Once Upon a Time in the Waste

First, Catra's little self-indulgent pity party for herself at Scorpia

angy kitty!!

But yeah Catra's acting all nihilist as fuck in this episode just all "I don't give a shit about anything" in that way that makes it painfully obvious she in fact gives many shits about many things and is trying to convince herself as much as anyone else

Anyway at the end of the bar Huntara's previous friend are like UGH THAT SHE-RA BITCH and Catra literally says, "Are you kidding me?"

"not that like, I care, or anything, but where'd they go"

Scorpia: uhhhh why are we asking about them when that's not what we're here for???

to be fair to Catra this is in fact correct

her little emo speech here is so cringey

that said I am in fact amused that they did a close up on her butt

(lol I was LITERALLY just talking to @corpseauthority about the scene in Steven Universe where Peridot pulls the little alien shorts over her butt while giggling, and I found the post I made about it at the time)

Adora, Huntara, Bow, and Glimmer are poking around Mara's abandoned old ship, which has had most of its guts stolen for parts, but you can still hear Mara's voice saying "She-Ra. Etheria. Gone." It's spooky

every time Catra gets a new jacket I get gayer

Scorpia: this is fun :) Catra: ha ha yeah

And then they get ambushed

Meanwhile they find Mara! or a hologram of her anyway. It is unfortunately just a recording on a loop.

Adora has another understandable breakdown of sorts, and bangs on a dead console, and voila:

"Oh I have one of those, I guess I just stick it in"

-and another recording starts up

"if you're seeing this, it means you wield the sword. You're the new She-Ra. It means I failed. I was supposed to be the last. And I am so, so sorry."

Back to Catra etc., and both me and Catra laughed the first time someone said Tung Lashor

(I assume this is a character name they were stuck with from the original series, and I've noticed they mostly avoid lampshading the goofy names but sometimes you just have to)

CLAW HIS FACE

(she throws sand in his eyes instead, and then falls into the quicksand, and she takes the whip)

fangie!!! I was just thinking about how it's been a while lol. Anyway now all the random fighters in the Crimson Waste are chanting her name.

AAAAAND back to Mara

Side note: Mara definitely looks older than Adora

"We were the first ones to settle Etheria, to really study this planet's magic. How could it go so wrong?"

but then it starts breaking up--

"Light Hope use the --can't--weapon--the weapon--weapon"

"I opened a portal to a completely empty dimension and pulled Etheria in. I hid us from the rest of the universe to keep everyone safe. This is the one place they'll never find us. I saw what they would do. The deaths that would follow. I couldn't stop them before but I can now. Hiding is our only option. Maybe it's been a week. Maybe it's been thousands of years. I never wanted to be a hero. I won't be remembered as one.

"With it, you can activate a portal. So I'm begging you. Don't do it. Leave us here. If you open a portal death and destruction will follow.

"If not, everyone will--"

and the message cuts out and the room goes dark again.

AND THEN, TRANQ DARTS but we know who has those now don't we

But also bc of that kinky fic I'm reading this screenshot is v entertaining

I will never stop screenshotting the way their expressions change when they unexpectedly hear the other's voice

Catra's "hey Adora" is one of the better ones ngl

the minions take down Huntara (with two blowdarts), Adora grabs the sword, Catra grabs that with the whip, Scorpia has Adora held in a pose that is Not Suggestive At All, Actually

Huntara gets up, grabs Bow and Glimmer and runs, and Scorpia knocks out Catra with her tail venom

whomever storyboarded this episode draws unreasonably sexy Catras.

Anyway Catra gives a toast to Scorpia which is very nice of her but to be fair she is an excellent mood. We get to hear Catra's genuine happy laugh for the first time in like a whole fucking SEASON

poor Scorpia. Catra is only encouraging her :(

"Hey, this is fun, and it's called a 'party!'"

Catra gives a little speech about how YAY SHE HAS THE SWORD it's the key to the whole PLANET and NOW Hordak will have to respect her!!!

Scorpia: orrrr since you literally hate your life back there, we could just stay here?

the way she's hugging the sword tho

Me: I'm reading too much into things Scorpia: pssht forget Adora Catra: *ears visibly droop* Scorpia: anyway let's rule the Crimson Waste!!! Catra: uhhhh, I'm gonna go check on Ad--uh our prisoner Scorpia: *saddest face ever*

🎵more cartoon bondage🎶

whyyyyy is she so hot

Adora: did u know Hordak is trying to open a portal that allows a huge Horde army from space to find Etheria and murder us all Catra: duh I'm in the Horde I'm cool with that >:3 Adora: did I mention the part where they MURDER ALL OF US, THAT INCLUDES YOU

Adora's face tho

Catra: also pfft how do you know Hordak's plans anyway Adora: oh our evil mom Shadow Weaver told me, did I not mention she's at my place Catra: UGGGH

(now hate-fuck!)

Catra: so you're saying the reason Shadow Weaver ran off from the Fright Zone and got my ass sentenced to death in the Crimson Waste is because she wanted to hang out with you instead???? this is ALL YOUR FAULT??

(yeah this would in fact hit all of Catra's angriest/saddest buttons, and yeah of course she'd blame Adora and not Shadow Weaver)

Catra is lookin' a little deranged at this information but also

ahahaha

but yeah the party was still going on

The list of people that consistently make Catra visibly cry: Adora Shadow Weaver

"We are going to open a portal. And we are going to crush them all."

EPISODE OVER and in retrospect I should've given up and posted it and reblogged it bc I had to delete like ten images so I could post some really good ones near the end there

and this episode only took *checks clock* forty minutes longer than I was hoping. sigh.

#april rewatches spop #once upon a time in the waste

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veeslug · 2 years ago

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Hey!!!!!Just saw the!!! New trailer!!! Observations under the cut so spoilers for that!!!

Please keep in mind that I have not seen anything relating to the leaked episode except for what has been officially released. If I misinterpreted any of this or get something wrong do not correct me, I’ll just know I was wrong in a week.

Okay so Collector lore right off the bat. This one screenshot has a lot to it.

- First of all, King!!! My son!! I’m glad that he at least seems to be okay and not locked in a hole somewhere. And I think he’s getting along with the Collector somewhat? Like, he’s obviously worried about something (although based on later info I’m not sure if he remembers what that something is) but he seems to be doing fine other than that.

- Okay so the Collector is, like, OLD old. Like, books chiseled into cave walls, old. And from the sounds of the book, there are/were more collectors. So where are they? Do we have another addition to the “last of my species” club in this show?

Lilith!! And Hooty!!! Lilith finally has her red hair back, and hooty looks like…. That….. Ngl I thought he was just flat out dead here upon first watch.

This whole screenshot has about ten different things I wanna talk about.

Eda!! She’s obviously either about to go owl mode or just got out of owl mode. I think this is the first we’ve seen here like this, as in struggling with the feathers, since early season two.

The “beware of beast” sign in the background. I’m assuming this is the owl beast since it seemed to recognize and attack the Collector at the end of the trailer.

These designs! Listen, I know that the coven heads are most likely puppets with little/no free will in this form, but the designs that come with them are great. I would also like to note that Terra is missing from the group. Not sure what that means, but she’s such a prominent coven head that I highly doubt that it’s an accident.

The way Hooty is positioned here kind of does make me think that maybe the puppetfication affected him differently. Maybe he is dead?? Or at least in some sort of comatose state?

The paintings in the background are pretty obscured, but I think the one closest to the left depicts a Titan and a Collector just… hanging out. I wonder when that sort of thing ended (or perhaps was misinterpreted) by the titan hunters, since, from what we’ve seen, the Collector (or at least THIS Collector) seems pretty cool with titans.

King!! Looks like he’s got some sort of authority since he’s allowed to just walk around the area without the Collector. I also think it’s interesting that he looks surprised that Eda’s here. Not happy surprised like he’s glad to see her or scared surprised like he’s worried about the coven heads getting her, just sort of shocked. I don’t think he’s the one that called the coven heads on her, but I do think it’s interesting that he doesn’t look particularly happy to see her.

Making a part two later because tumblrs being glitchy and won’t let me add anything else

#the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers #toh #the owl house #king clawthorne #the collector

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captainaikus · 2 years ago

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Ohhh okay that’s a relief. No worries I’m not going anywhere!!! 😊😊 Just don’t forget to take breaks between all the hectic and busy stuff too okay?? I’m sure you’ll do great on your test 😤😤. AND YES YOURE TAKING BREAKS THATS AWESOME YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE THEM!!!! Ooooo which psychological horror movies if I may ask? Oh? 👀 Yandere Nagi you say?? 👀👀👀

I’ve been working on that surprise for you!!! I wanna edit it a bunch and make sure it’s as perfect as I can get it to be. Because half the time I either post my works at 4 am in the morning after speed writing after inspiration hit me or I look over it once and get tired halfway through the second time and just hit post adhjgfjjhhgfgghh 💀💀.

Thank youuuuu!!!! I was debating on which to pick of the thousand screenshots from my camera roll 😭😭. Very hard decision he looks gorgeous in literally every angle and lighting and scene like SIR??? I also changed the theme of my blog in honor of the first episode of the second season finally being released!! Tell me what you think 🥰. Surprisingly I haven’t made a single post abt the first episode yet because I’ve just been on a rebloging spree since it first came out. LET ME TELL YOU RN BELLE THE ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS I WENT THROUGH YESTERDAY AND LAST WEEK IT FELT LIKE MY BRAIN WAS ETERNALLY VIBRATING WITH EXCITEMENT ADHJHFGJHVCKK. Anyways ✨. I’m gonna be making sooooo many TR posts soon just you wait as soon as my energy goes down a bit enough for me to type abt it my entire page is gonna be full of TR ashkjfgkkfffjkgf you’ve been warned 😭😭💀. Remember to take breaks and drink water and eat snacks love!!! *sends many virtual*

- ✨ anon

*sigh of relief* my test was alright T.T Its news to everyone that I'm taking a break — and its also giving off the impression that i am a workaholic which isn't wrong... So i watched psycho and vertigo by alfred hitchcock... yes. i am THAT old (the shower scene in psycho is so iconic not to mention everyone was on a bates motel high) And yes. Yandere Nagi — based on another movie I watched (this one is pretty old too) but. the more i think about it... the more hotter the story is getting in my head. This might be a mini series tho — cause the storyline is damn complicated and i wanna take my time with it, write it well and then post it on my ao3. Ooohh I know that feeling !! Half the time I'm looking like a maniac typing away at 3 in the morning cause that's when my inspo kicks in and then i land up with less sleep. smh— You have me on the edge of my seat *wipes of sweat* but please take your time and don't rush !! And honestly? same with me too. I write things, don't feel like beta reading it. *reads it later* How do people even like this? o.o AND. I. ADORE. YOUR BLOG THEME!! Ahh !! Sunflowers!! And i lowkey think that everyone is starting to like kazutora but at the same time with the kind of character development he has? 100% deserves the thirst and I think i just got struck with an idea for him... *notes down*

Look at me creating work for myself — *sending hugs back*

#belle.☏#.moot🍦: ✨ anon

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mlobsters · 3 months ago

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supernatural s1e15 the benders (w. john shiban)

(this is a rewatch so spoilers abound)

starting off with the xf vibe in the teaser music, which this whole episode is very xfiles home (s4e2).... homage. beginning is surprisingly memorable just because it's not what i expected, i'm always stressed when a kid shows up but not this time!

also didn't realize hibbing minnesota was so far north, past duluth! i lived in the twin cities for 8 years or so. i guess donna was from hibbing, but no one lived there. but there was an episode title with hibbing in it (10x08) hence some of my confusion. anyway. to the bad humans!

(padalecki still with the crispy R on crazy. now i'm wondering if he always uses it and i just stopped noticing at some point)

so priest and state trooper, side swept bangs 📝

EVAN Godzilla Vs. Mothra. DEAN That’s my favorite Godzilla movie. It’s so much better than the original, huh? EVAN Totally. DEAN Yeah. (He nods towards SAM.) He likes the remake. EVAN Yuck!

very cute

i used this bar scene in my fanvid to texas hold 'em and that neon sign in my tennessee whiskey painting lol (though i ended up putting them mostly in front of it but you can see a lil bit)

SAM Well, there are all kinds. You know, Spring Heeled Jacks, phantom gassers. They take people anywhere, anytime.

shoulda had more monstery-monster of the week eps

SAM Right. I saw a motel about five miles back. DEAN Whoa, whoa, easy. Let’s have another round. SAM We should get an early start.

DEAN Yeah, you really know how to have fun, don’t you, Grandma? (SAM smiles.) Alright, I’ll meet you outside, I gotta take a leak.

it was cute, sam basically gave him a very nice smile to the grandma comment and dean caved. might make gifs if i remember to - i made the gifs to avoid picking this back up. also shows just rarely talk about using the bathroom, course this was a plot-related bathroom visit to get them separated, so. not sure it really falls into the masculinity tag i got going but anytime we go with a woman instead of man, gonna tag it

this music is so cliche tension danger sounding but also like, not at all matching the vibe of the show? too loud, and like a parody. ugh. i will give you one guess who it is... (gruska, of course)

DEAN Sam? Two beers and he’s doin’ karaoke. No, he wasn’t drunk. He was taken. KATHLEEN Alright. What’s his name? DEAN Winchester. Sam Winchester. KATHLEEN Like the rifle? DEAN Like the rifle.

insert something insightful about the hunters having an extremely on the nose last name :p also don't know if we ever really know what sam's tolerance is like

i 100% took screenshots of the computer screen first watch because they just copied sam's height into dean's entry :p

DEAN Officer, look, uh, he’s family. I kind of—I kind of look out for the kid. You gotta let me go with you. KATHLEEN I’m sorry, I can’t do that. DEAN Well, tell me something. Your county has its fair share of missing persons. Any of ‘em come back? Sam’s my responsibility. And he’s comin’ back. I’m bringin’ him back.

eat that right up, you know it. this episode is chock full of protective dean goodness, after sam got to do it for him in 1x12.

s1e11 / s1e15

well i'll be! same thing sammy said to meg in the bus station that got me feeling extra mushy. that also had teleplay by john shiban. thank you, sir 🫡 did a little gif comparable thing too

~1 month later~ was gonna pull up an episode of evil, which has been my go-to evening show during my spn sabbatical and i just got the itchy feeling to want to blather at length while watching something. am i ready to watch spn again?? we will see.

JENKINS Why don’t you give it up, Sammy, there’s no way out. SAM Don’t….call me….Sammy!

damn right

my vacation away and literally the first scene with music back and i'm like godDAMNIT this music is obnoxious. in case i was worried i just had a stick up my ass about it, no it really is just my immediate gut reaction

anyway, bro's off getting the most dangerous game'd to bad music. shoulda listened to sam

DEAN Hey, Officer? Look, I don’t mean to press my luck. KATHLEEN Your luck is so pressed. DEAN Right. I was wondering—why are you helping me out, anyway? Why don’t you just lock me up? KATHLEEN My brother, Riley, disappeared three years ago. A lot like Sam. We searched for him, but—nothing. I know what it’s like to feel responsible for someone, and for them—Come on. Let’s keep at it.

had this storyline happened later, could see her slotting into the jody/donna type role

the most striking eyes

DEAN I gotta start carrying paper clips.

i mean, seems like he'd have something on his person. what with their vocation needing a variety of tools for less than legal shenanigans

ok what, did dean have this headshot of sam lying around?? lol. not one in my fairly comprehensive winchester family photos post

very necessary to have him stretched out over this sheriff wagon

DEAN Sam? Are you hurt? SAM No. DEAN Damn, it’s good to see you.

DEAN Have you seen ‘em? SAM Yeah. Dude, they’re just people. DEAN And they jumped you? Must be gettin’ a little rusty there, kiddo.

it's just so sweet. i am a sucker

my hot take is that jensen loves slapstick humor and puts it in at any opportunity. we're dealing with like, people-hunting-cannibals, his brother and a sheriff are locked in cages that he needs to find a key for and yet! jensen is gonna have dean turn the flashlight on in his face and have a goofy reaction. TIME AND PLACE, BROTHER

anyway. there's been a lot of the xfiles noises this episode. very on brand

i think one of the most disturbing things about this episode are the pictures with the benders are posing with the people like a big game photo. enough that i don't even wanna include a screenshot of it

i wonder how the set design of this compares to the house at the end of s1 true detective. and obviously the set for xf home. maybe i'll pull up some comparisons and see if it's worth doing A Post

i think why the game polaroids are so impactful vs this is like. this is very campy over the top. old timey music playing on the phonograph, traps and saw blades hanging from the ceiling, man making these wildly exaggerated swings with the cleaver and saw

i will admit that i saw something at a formative age that had an incredibly upsetting situation with a hot poker and so this scene also is distressing. at least it's not threatening sexual violence this time. but objectively, that's a gorgeous shot

DEAN You hurt my brother, I’ll kill you, I swear. I’ll kill you all. I will kill you all!

you know i can't resist that, eat it right up

so rare they're in short sleeves, has to be an even smaller number of times they fight someone in them

so beautiful. she was really good in this part

DEAN Never do that again. SAM Do what? DEAN Go missin’ like that. (SAM laughs.) SAM You were worried about me. DEAN All I’m sayin’ is, you vanish like that again, I’m not lookin’ for ya. SAM Sure, you won’t. DEAN I’m not. (SAM chuckles.) SAM So, you got sidelined by a thirteen-year-old girl, huh? DEAN Oh, shut up. SAM Just sayin’, gettin’ rusty there, kiddo. DEAN (chuckling) Shut up. (SAM laughs.)

i didn't remember that last little bit, that was extra cute. i will be making more gifs 😩

#supernatural #spnrewatch #spn 1x15 #john shiban #crispy Rs #spn and masculinity #jay gruska #spn clip #spn musical score #the xfiles

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kates-sweet-escape · 2 years ago

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KinnPorsche - It's all a ruse (a theory)

Warning: This post contains spoilers for KinnPorsche the Series. Read at your own risk. I haven't read the novel, only bits and pieces that I've found online so this is purely based on the TV Series. Also, this post is based on the work of other amazing Tumblr creators that will all be credited within this post. Brace yourself - this is a long one.

Disclaimer: I am by no means an expert, I am just a german romance-novel writer. Also, I come from a eurocentric perspective as I was raised in Germany by a British mother and a German father.

Additional KinnPorsche Content by me:

KinnPorsche: The question of true privilege (Meta - Episode 6)

KinnPorsche: Kinns Breakdown - I can't believe you still want me (Meta - Episode 7)

Hello everyone.

I swear to god, the things this show and this fandom make me do. I usually don't share theories. Or meta. Or anything. I left the active part of fandoms a long time ago, but here I am, typing away with a facemask on and a half-empty glass of wine right next to me, cause damn I need a little self-care after watching the emotional rollercoaster that was Episode 9.

Ever since Episode 9 aired I've read a lot of opinions about Kinn, his character, and his choice not to trust Porsche. Reactions within the fandom vary from genuine understanding to absolute outrage, a fascinating mixture of empathy and cancel culture.

And ever since that devastating moment at the end of the episode I've been thinking. A lot. Maybe more than what is healthy considering the fact that this is just a TV-Show that somehow managed to take over my life.

Things didn't quite add up to me. I was caught in this weird emotional limbo of I do understand Kinn as a fellow individual with massive trust issues caused by ex-lovers that betrayed us and After what they've shown us last week and with the emotional progress those two characters have made, Kinns reaction does not make that much sense from a writers perspective.

So I went back to watch those last few minutes over and over again (and before you ask me - no, I am not okay! Porsches pleading and soft "Ai Kinn" will haunt me tonight), took screenshots, read the previous meta while trying to fit the puzzle pieces together. And then the brilliant @moerusaii posts this amazing piece of meta that convinced me to share my thoughts with you guys.

Because I have the theory that this might be an elaborate ruse by Kinn and Porsche to trick Tawan and Vegas.

And here is why:

Kinn, Tawan and that one mirror frame

This is that one frame that kickstarted it all for me in Episode 9. @luckydragon10 whom I'm very much a fan of, has talked about what mirrors signify in this post, and ever since then I've been paying a lot more attention to the usage of mirrors in KinnPorsche.

We see Tawan and Kinn alone in Tawans old apartment to retrieve the evidence of who is behind the Italians (which is probably useless anyway - and YES all the shade for this b*tch). While Tawan is "remembering" the real location of the USB stick, this shot happens. We see the real Tawan, but we only see the reflection of Kinn, probably signifying that Kinn has a hidden agenda, keeping the truth hidden from Tawan while showing a side of himself that is not real and only a mere reflection of himself.

It's only a short frame but something about it feels so deliberate that I couldn't possibly ignore it.

Maybe it also means that Tawan is only seeing an old version of Kinn, feeding into the issues he had rather than seeing the real Kinn that has maybe gotten rid of them with a partner by his side he can truly trust, all without his vicious ex-lover noticing who is focused on the reflection he is familiar with.

Kinn breaking the fourth wall

Okay, I've already mentioned @moerusai and her amazing post but I still want to add a little bit to that. (And thank you Mo for sending me a DM so I could use your gifs that looks a million times better than my screenshot!)

When I watched Episode 9 for the first time, this shot made me so uncomfortable. Kinn looks straight at the audience, no filter, no mirror, no nothing. And for the first time, I felt like I am looking at the soul of this man, bruised and bare and begging to be understood and to be trusted. It felt like he looked at me to tell me that things are going to be okay, as long as we keep our eyes on him and see past what is shown, willing to stare into the shadows until we can see everything that's hidden in the darkness.

The lighting when Vegas and Porsche are alone is not green.

We all remember this scene from Episode 7. The scene where Porsche and Vegas stumble into the bathroom. The light in this scene is green, signifying danger as the amazing @antique-forvalaka has pointed out in her "KinnPorsche and the Use of Color" Series that I will mention again later on. It has been pointed out by @yellingaboutkp in this post that Porsche faked being drunk because he already suspected Vegas being shady and wanted him to show his true colors (no pun intended). If we assume this to be true, then Vegas should remain a threat to Porsche, his light remaining green.

Now look at this:

The color in this scene is teal and not green. We've seen this color before, in episode 5, and as @antique-forvalaka pointed out in this post this specific mixture of blue and green is used when there is a danger that Porsche is able to handle. When he is not as helpless as he appears to be. When he is forming a plan.

But Kate, what does Vegas have to do with any of this? He isn't Tawan! Yes, my lovelies, you are correct. He isn't Tawan. But ever since he doubled down on the Kinn Shot His Ex Rumor, I am convinced that he's got something to do with it. Especially considering his disgustingly perfect timing and his offer to Porsche to run away together. In addition to that, we know that he will storm the compound from the trailer. So he is most definitely one of the main villains of the show and just like a snake with its beautiful and shiny green scales, he is able to slither into anything just so he can poison it in one swift bite.

We are still waiting for that handshake (Trailer)

Yes, the trailer. I am even going back that far. I am sure that this scene takes place at Yok's bar (she's a true MVP) and I think it might even be a flashback where Kinn and Porsche talked about their plan, far away from prying eyes and ears. And what could be more romantic than a date night like that? A couple that schemes together stays together!

But all jokes aside, this scene might also take place later on when the two of them have drifted apart, signified by the fact that Porsche is wearing Jeans, something he stopped doing ever since getting emotionally closer to Kinn and adapting part of his style. So I might be completely wrong about this and it's not them scheming but instead reconciling.

When it all goes up in flames - Porsche remains (KinnPorsche: The Hidden messages)

And since we are already on a trip down memory lane, I am taking you guys back to "KinnPorsche. The Hidden Messages" when it was announced that we would still be getting KinnPorsche the Series after months of thinking that it might get canceled.

We see Kinn standing in front of a banner with the word TRUST on it. It goes up in flames, revealing Porsche waiting behind it.

This could mean a great many things, especially now that they've decided to give him a phoenix tattoo that he also adapted into his name as an underground boxer. It could mean that he is rising from the ashes after Kinn burned the trust they've shared. Or it could mean that he is rising from the ashes of the trust that Tawan had broken when he sold Kinns information to the Italians. That Porsche is the one rebuilding Kinns trust from the dustry crumbs that Tawan left behind, willing to survive in the heat of the flames that lick at his skin, threatening to burn him too.

Either way, I think we can all agree that Porsche is the only one that Kinn can and should trust, and I sure as hell hope that my theory is correct and that Kinn knows that too.

#kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche #kinnporsche theory #kinnporsche la forte #kinnporsche brain rot #kinn theerapanyakul #porsche kittisawasd #mile phakphum #apo nattawin #wow this was a long one #i hope i am right about this #but i fear that i will have to put on clown make-up next week

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selfawarejester · 3 years ago

Text

So, someone requested a fic where Blue Team rescues a Child!Reader from a war zone, but unfortunately Tumblr ate the ask. If you’re the one who requested it, please enjoy!

EDIT: found a screenshot! @simp-for-fictional-men-only, hope you like this!

Blue Team x Child!Reader (Halo)

It’s been a long “day”, even by Spartan standards.

Blue Team had been trying to repel Covenant forces on an Outer Colonies planet for over a week… but it hadn’t been enough. Command had called an evacuation, and after destroying a base to help the efforts, Blue Team had been ordered to help with final evacuation calls in the nearest town.

On the Pelican ride to town, there was a brief moment where they thought it was a waste of resources to send Spartans for an evacuation op, especially because the other Spartan teams were still doing the best they could to strike back at the Covenant; not necessarily to stop them anymore, just to hold them back long enough for the civilians to escape and maybe a little revenge. The events of the week, coupled with the guilt of their brothers and sisters still risking their lives, weighed on them heavily.

But at the end of the day, they’re glad they did: they found a group in the Rec center, a dozen people in the boroughs, twenty in an apartment complex — the Marines wouldn’t have been able to lift most of the wreckage that blocked them from escaping.

By the time they’d gotten to the outskirts of town, Blue Team had been left alone to sweep through the dead town. Chief considered just going to meet up with the Marines — surely, they could match the pace of the overloaded Troop Transports — and this area was just dilapidated factories and shady looking establishments that had long since been stampeded.

But a need to fulfil his task to completion stayed his hand… and thank god it did.

At first, it was just soft sniffles that sounded from the inside of the rundown factory. Chief and Kelly, who’d partnered up to search this side of the district, thought it was one of the many Jackals that had been posted in the previous sector wandering, or a Grunt that had been left behind after the Jackals had entertained themselves (in which case, they should probably put the thing out of its misery), so they go inside.

Chief goes first, moving carefully through the debris so as to not dislodge the wreckage, or disturb the corpses of the few soldiers and more civilians. He retrieves their dog tags, securing them in one of the compartments of the MJOLNIR, and Kelly follows, stepping where he does.

Slowly, the sound becomes louder and louder, wheezing and snotty sobbing. Definitely an injured Grunt, he thinks. It’s coming from under a slab of concrete propped up against a wall. Kelly flanks to the right, while Chief goes to the left. He signals that he’ll lift it on the count of three, and grips the edge of the slab. When the slab gets tossed aside, Kelly raises her shotgun, pointing directly at the small figure.

You shriek and bury your head in your knees, pulled up to your chest. You couldn’t believe that after all the gross, awful things you’d had to sit through, holed up in this corner, you were just going to die.

But when nothing happens for a solid five seconds, you chance a peek over your knees and gasp. S-117 and S-087 are emblazoned across the chests of the armored giants… Spartans.

Kelly and Chief exchange confused gazes, having no idea how to deal with children. The last ones they’d had any interaction with was the Castoffs on Netherop, but they were more feral gremlins than they had been children.

(Kelly and Fred still aren’t entirely sure that the whole incident wasn’t a heat-induced hallucination.)

John really doesn’t want to go through another episode like it, but on the other hand, it would be easier if you were pelting rocks at them.

Kelly, being the more personable of the two, kneels to your height (or as close as a Spartan could get) and softly calls. “You don’t have to be scared. We’re here to help.”

You knew that — they were Spartans! The greatest heroes Humanity ever possessed! You were just shocked that you were getting rescued by them.

“Y-you’re Spartans.” You whisper dumbly, but you couldn’t help it! How are you supposed to be cool when you grew up with Master Chief’s action figure on your nightstand. “Like Master Chief.”

You can’t see it, but John can sense Kelly’s smirk as she looks over at him and points. “Well, that’s the man himself.”

* Oh no. By the way your wet, moved eyes stare up at him, it seems you’re a fan.

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!! You hope your pterodactyl screeching wasn’t external.

“Whoa.” This couldn’t be real. You’d passed out from exhaustion, and were dreaming all of this. That could be the only possibility!

John knows that this is the part where he says something witty or inspiring… but he really doesn’t know what to say, so he just awkwardly clears his throat. “Are you hurt?”

You shake your head violently, a burning need to not disappoint your childhood hero, and clamber up to your feet… only to wince and lean against the wall, something sticky on your leg.

Now that you’re standing, he can see the dried blood around your ankle. “Hold still!” All the softness is gone from Kelly’s tone as she works on bandaging you up, but you don’t mind, appreciating how careful she’s being.

Co-ordinating with Linda, who informs him that there are patrols scouting the areas — probably only to get any survivors, and not to catch them, but they should still move — and Fred, who tells him that the convoy is flying off-planet via Pelicans in half an hour, John makes some quick calculations.

With the pace you’d set, hobbling alongside Kelly, whimpering every time you put your weight on your left foot, it would take them at least an hour. Too long.

“Whoa…” The sound comes unbidden from Fred when Kelly emerges, with you clutching at her hip, all bloody and dirty. A pang of sympathy strikes as he looks around and realizes all that you must have seen. He was well aware that normal children weren’t nearly as resilient as he and his siblings had been.

“….” He stays silent as you arrive in front of him, staring up at him with slight apprehension, heart racing as he tries to think of something to say — and for some reason, he lands on an awkward, weirdly Southern-sounding. “Hey champ!”

John and Kelly both shoot him weird looks, and he wants to dig a hole and die, when they hear it.

A small giggle falls from your lips, tiny hands covering your mouth as you try not to laugh. Fred sighs in relief, but his anxiety returns when Kelly’s joking voice comes over the comms saying “Well, I guess we know who’s taking care of them.”

Linda drops out of nowhere, and nearly scares you to death as you shriek and bump into John, holding his leg tightly. You don’t really notice how he freezes, confused again.

“…sorry.” She doesn’t sound sorry, you think with a pout and drop from Chief’s leg, careful of your own busted ankle.

“That’s Linda, that’s Fred and I’m Kelly. You can just call him Chief. What’s your name?”

“Y-Y/N.”

“Alright. We won’t be able to make it if you’re walking, so you need to get on one of our backs.” Chief tells you, straight to business. “Which one of us do you feel comfortable with?”

He’s really hoping you pick Kelly or Fred. It wouldn’t exactly be a burden, you’re much tinier than the full grown people he’s had to carry out of a war zone, and you’re handling it much better as well, even though you’re barely ten years old.

“Um…” You look shyly up at Fred. “If you don’t really mind…”

*Aw. That’s… actually kind of sweet. Fred beckons you over, and hoists you up between his shoulders, giving you the rundown on what to do if people start shooting, and to hold on tight when he tells you to.

*You’re much more considerate than the freaked out VIPs he’s had to extract. But he still feels you twitch every time the wind causes something to clatter, so he decides to strike up conversation.

“So how did you wind up there?” It’s not until afterwards that he realizes that, unlike soldiers, civilians aren’t comfortable discussing stuff like that. But you answer that it was your dad’s factory, explaining that it was Bring Your Kid To Work Day.

The Spartans, specifically Kelly, asked you questions about it, having never heard of it themselves. After all, military settings rarely allowed such breaches of protocol.

You only trailed off as you got to the part where he told you to hide, and Fred lets it be.

When you finally get to the convoy, a nurse hurriedly tries to pull you away from the Spartans to help out, apologizing for not doing it sooner when Fred tells her it’s fine and that you can stay. After all, Kelly had fixed you up well, and you seemed terrified at the prospect of being left alone.

All that was left to do was fly up to the ship in outer orbit, with the rest of the survivors. Since there were such few Pelicans, everyone had been crammed into them, military and civilians alike. You’d simply wandered onto the one they’d been on, sandwiched between Chief and Fred.

Chief watches you picking at your shorts, and suddenly remembers the chocolate bar Sgt. Johnson keeps giving him - “you’re not yourself when you’re hungry, Chief” He’d snicker and then leave, Chief just standing there, not understanding the reference - but hey, chocolate was chocolate.

“Here. You did well.” Your eyes go wide, and for a second he thinks you’re going to refuse, but then you snatch it out of his hand and snarf it down. This is how it must feel to watch him eat.

“You’re going to like it up there.” Fred chimes in when your gaze starts getting distant again. “Space is really cool.”

In a twist of fate, you find one of your best friends when you arrive on the ship. Their parents promise to take care of you, and thank the Spartans.

When they start directing the survivors to their quarters, you hug every Spartan, even Linda… or their legs, since you couldn’t reach anything else. (Thankfully, you telegraph it pretty well, so they don’t accidentally smack you or something.)

John just stiffens and then nods, Fred pats you on the head awkwardly and shuffles away (he was very shocked by the affection), Kelly laughs and claps you on the shoulder, and Linda just hums and pets you on the head like a dog, walking away afterwards.

You go on to be a Marine yourself, finding yourself on the Halo campaign, where Chief and Cortana save you once more. You’re surprised he still remembers you.

You leave a bar of the same brand he gave you at his shrine, giving a heartfelt eulogy and catching up momentarily with the other members of Blue Team before you all leave again.

You almost faint when he shows up at Requiem, though. Don’t feel bad, as Lasky fanboys behind Chief for the whole campaign.

Palmer corrals you and Lasky into a break room to make fun of your behavior after it’s all over.

#halo #fred 104 #john 117 #kelly 087 #linda 058 #halo x reader #fred 104 x reader #john 117 x reader #kelly 087 x reader #linda 058 x reader #hope I got all their characters right!#I’ll add a read more later

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shorkbrian · 4 years ago

Note

💖💘my heart’s dizzy and I my dose of serotonin whenever I read your prose🤟🏽😩 was wondering if you could do reader with an erratic future-vision!quirk so when they first meet yandere!Hawks they’re suddenly plagued by erotic, sensual, 365days-level of disturbing visions of them, so reader actively avoids them (it’s like those Tik Tok future-seeing videos playing to “Play Date”)

Prelude - Hawks isn’t a famous pro-hero in this, but he still has his quirk. It’s not really mentioned a bunch tho lol. This is rlly long, but I decided not to put it into two parts because the smut is so slight lol. Hope this meets your expectations anon, thank you for reading!

Pairing - Keigo Takami X Reader

Warnings - NSFW mentions, dubcon, noncon. No out-and-out explicit smut, just a really long story. Hawks is manipulative and gets what he wants

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5ukAQcKEIJuzIbP55xp07x?si=iz6I-RoDSdCNYhT2Du8etg

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was a friend of a friend, someone you had only met once or twice.

Your friend kept bringing him to hangouts, he kept showing up on her instagram feed, getting mentioned in her twitterbio, and eventually it came out that they had started dating. It didn’t catch anyone by surprise.

What did catch you by surprise, was how infatuated with him your friend was.

“He’s just sooooo hot, isn’t he?” She squealed, shoving her phone in your face to show off a shirtless pic he had just sent her.

You nodded in agreement, quickly appraising the pic before turning your head. Yeah, her boyfriend was attractive, but you weren’t one to ruin relationships. Plus, you and Keigo had never really talked past the brief “Hey” and “Wassup?” said in greeting when introduced the first time.

“Can he come to the mall with us on Friday? I promise there will be no third wheeling.” Your friend begged, clasping her hands together. You thought about it for a second - this had been a fun shopping trip the two of you had planned a few weeks ago, meant as a girls date on a day the mall wouldn’t be crowded. But would it really hurt anything if her boyfriend came along? Probably not.

“Yeah, I don’t mind.” You shrugged, watching your friends face erupt into a wide grin. “But don’t ditch me to go makeout in a bathroom or something, got it?”

“Sir yes sir!” Your friend faux saluted, before patting you on the shoulder. “Thanks girlie!”

You jerked back, head suddenly swarming with visions, your quirk activating. Your quirk was helpful in some ways, but you mainly tried not to use it - headaches resulted, and you hated getting glimpses of the future. Sometimes they’d be good, but they were often bad - you had gotten a screenshot glimpse of your brothers death, his face marred and bleeding out onto the pavement.

It still made you sick to think about it.

Touch wasn’t something you could always avoid, but you tried, seeing as how it activated your quirk, giving you visions of your future with whomever you touched, or whoever touched you.

You saw your friends face, eyes puffy with tears, shouting something. Then another scene flashed, your friend on TV, talking to a reporter.

Thankfully, the visions ended, this episode relatively quick due to how short of a time she touched you.

“Oh shit, I forgot, I’m so sorry.” She rushed to apologize, holding her hands up and backing away from you.

“It’s-it’s fine.” You wheezed, waving your hand in the air to signal that it wasn’t a big deal. The vision just probably meant the two of you would get into a fight soon, which wasn’t uncommon. It was fine, you were fine.

——

The mall wasn’t too crowded, which made the day pleasant. Your friend was talking to her boyfriend, hand tangled with his as the three of you walked in.

“So (Y/N), what do you think about that new Victoria’s Secret launch?” Your friend bumped you with her hip, drawing your attention as she pulled you into the conversation between her and her boyfriend.

“Oh, um… what?” To be fair, you had zoned out when the couple started being gross and mushy, which was like, the second your friend met Keigo at the door.

The blonde man laughed. “Victoria’s Secret just launched a new line of lingerie, have any thoughts about it?”

Turning red, you smiled sheepishly. “Ah, well…. From what I’ve seen of their stuff it’s… nice? So I’m sure it’s good.”

Your friend mock-gasped, almost slapping you on the arm before quickly remembering your quirk, drawing her hand back. You gave a quick nod of thanks.

“(Y/N)! Don’t tell me you didn’t even know about it?! I practically live, eat, and sleep Victoria’s Secret, it’s impossible to miss their product drops when you’re one of my friends.”

Unsure how to respond, you floundered, opening and closing your mouth like a lost fish.

“Babe, leave her be, she’s probably just shy.” Keigo stepped in, giving his girlfriend a chuckle as he steered you both towards a shop.

“Fineeee.” Your friend whined, turning to focus on the task ahead. “They have a VS shop here though, you’re not getting out of here without going in with me!”

----

The VS store was huge, smelling sweetly of flowers, bright colors assaulting your vision, soft pop music filling your ears.

It was hard not to cringe at all the fancy lingerie, you were honestly a bit embarrassed to be strolling through the store with your friend, let alone her boyfriend by her side.

“Does-does Keigo mind?” You quietly asked your friend, out of earshot of her boyfriend, who was looking at perfumes, last time you checked.

“Not at all birdie, I’m used to clothes, any form, any shape.”

You whirled around, squeaking in surprise at Keigo, who had apparently finished with browsing the perfume. He was flashing you a 1000 watt grin, continuing with what he was saying. “I’m a model, practically every girl I’ve ever met I’ve seen in less than full underwear, it’s no big deal.”

“Oh…. Cool.” You offered, cheeks turning red again. You felt like such a blushing schoolgirl, turning red when faced with looking at bras and panties, flushing when a man got too close.

It was the nature of the store, you told yourself, that was making you so embarrassed.

“Oo! What do you think of this one?” Your friend was holding up a babydoll, pink, with light fabric and zero coverage.

Keigo wolf whistled. “Man, that’d be a good look for you. Lets buy it.” The couple moved on, pointing at different clothes, your friend occasionally picking one from the rack to hold up against her body, looking for Keigo’s opinion.

They were cute together, laughing over the cheesy names on the tags of the lingerie, holding hands as the browsed, your friend occasionally stopping to plant a kiss on her boyfriend’s cheek.

“I think that’s everything that I like…. (Y/N), your turn!” Pulled out of your casual observance, you back pedaled. “Me? No, I’m not really the type to wear this kind of stuff - I don’t even think most of it would fit, I have weird proportions.“

“Nonsense!” Keigo looked around for a moment, going to the nearest rack to quickly sift through bras, before pulling one out. “This one would make all the boys drool over you honey.”

He held it out towards you, shaking it slightly when you hesitated to take it. Was your friend okay with him talking to you like that, pushing underwear at you to buy? A quick glance sideways showed she was more than okay with it, clasping her hands excitedly as she watched you.

The bra was sheer, soft lavender fabric forming the cups, an intricate embroidered detail of flowers dotted haphazardly over the bra. It was pretty, but you weren’t exactly partial to it. When would you wear it? Who would you wear it for? You weren’t sure it was your style. Plus, it probably wasn’t even your size.

“My arm’s gettin’ real tired.” Keigo joked, before you finally took the garment from him. Checking the size, you paused for a second, blinking towards the man.

“How did you-?”

“You spend enough time in the fashion industry, you learn to tell a girl’s size just by looking at her.” He seemed to puff up, as if he was proud of his bra-sizing skills.

“Let me help her pick out some things too!” Your friend cried, rushing past you to head over to the next rack, ushering you to follow with a wave of her hand.

You ended up with an armful of lingerie - bras, panties, an odd bustier or two, and some other flowy items, like a sheer robe and a lacy chemise. The choices weren’t exactly made by you, more so made by a combination of your friend and Keigo together. They had alternated holding up items towards your body, comparing color and garment cuts, lost in their own mushy-gushy world, and it was almost like you didn’t exist for a few moments, nothing more than a barbie doll to dress up.

But now the three of you stood in line to checkout, and you felt included again, your friend cracking jokes that were making you snort, Keigo watching the two of you interact.

Until your friend accidentally brushed against your arm as she shifted forward in line.

Again, you saw her tearful face, heard her sobbing, before the other scene flashed, of her on TV, talking to the reporter. She still looked upset, eyes rimmed red, nose running, hair a mess.

With a gasp, your vision returned to the present, and you were wobbling on your feet, almost falling.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry (Y/N), I’m so so sorry. Here, let me take that, go sit down by the entrance.” She fussed over you, face concerned as she carefully took the stack of clothes from your arms, making sure to not make contact.

“Oh fuck, is she alright?” You heard Keigo ask, your friend stepping in front of you as he moved forward to check on you.

“Yeah, she’s just feeling a little dizzy. Can you make sure she doesn’t fall and crack her head open? Just wait by the entrance please.”

“Okay. Oh, here-“ You were a bit dazed, but you saw Keigo fish his wallet out of his pocket, thrusting the entire thing into his girlfriends hands before patting her on the shoulder “Whichever card is fine.”

And then you were stumbling towards the entrance, towards the bench right outside.

You hated seeing the future. Why was your friend crying? What had happened to elicit such a reaction? The unknowns killed you, kept you up at night as you tried to puzzle out the events that could lead up to the scenes from your visions.

Not looking where you were going, you tripped on air, unable to catch yourself as you plummeted towards the ground.

But then you were seeing Keigo.

He was above you, face flushed and sweaty, hair tousled, his chest bare. The room was dark, barely lit, and he was so close. The man leaned down to kiss you, then the scene changed.

You were bent over a table, only able to see the solid wood your face was smushed against. There was a heat in your belly, a tingling between your thighs, and pressure. Someone was talking - Keigo, muttering behind you angrily. You head was pulled up, a hand fisted in your hair, and then one of your knees was pushed up onto the table, and the pressure inside exploded into pure pleasure.

You felt yourself screaming, bucking your hips as you suffered through whatever the feeling was.

The scene changed again.

Hands tied above your head, you were pressed against a wall, sitting on some kind of…. Saddle? Your legs couldn’t touch the ground, and you squirmed, before gasping loudly.

There was a nub in the seat, ribbed and textured, slick with some kind of liquid… From you? Then you saw Keigo, standing in front of you, smirking at you with hardened eyes.

He had something in his hand, arms crossed over his chest while he fiddled with the object, muscles flexing. He was shirtless again, and-and his cock was hanging out of his sweatpants, pressed against his belly, smearing precum over his skin.

You tried to say something, anything - the visions never lasted this long, it was too intense, there was so much sensation. But your mouth wouldn’t move, choked up.

Keigo’s hand was on his length, rubbing slowly, saying something that didn’t reach your ears.

The scene changed.

Something was shoved down your throat, warm and twitching. You were sobbing, choking, clawing at whatever was in front of you. A dark laugh filled your ears, and you opened your eyes, met with the clenching abs of a strong stomach.

Keigo was brushing your tears, no, smudging them over your face. Were you wearing makeup? His cock was sitting in your throat, his hips moving in tiny jerks, stabbing your esophagus, making you gag.

Then you were back in the present.

A hand was holding your arm, keeping you from falling and making contact with the hard floor.

“-N)? (Y/N)? Are you okay? Talk to me birdie”

You made a panicked noise, pulling yourself out of Keigo’s grip so fast that you fell flat on the floor, scrambling backwards away from the man.

He almost looked scared, confused as he followed after you, holding out his hands. “(Y/N), you gotta calm down, you’re gonna make yourself sick.”

The man reached for your arm again and you pressed yourself against the floor, screeching out a loud “No!!” before he could touch you. Keigo paused, looking at his hand, then at you. “Hey, hey, I’m not gonna touch you. It’s okay little birdie, you’re alright.” He cooed, sinking to his knees in front of you.

You were hyperventilating, wide eyes trained on Keigo. Your thoughts were swirling in your head, you couldn’t focus, the sensations of the future still echoing through your body.

Keigo crouched there while you steadied your breathing, talking to you the entire time, trying to help you relax and calm down. You weren’t sure what he was saying, something about the weather? Or a dog? But you could feel your breathing evening out, head clearing.

“Hey, she fall?” You friend was carrying two bags, crouching down beside Keigo, cocking her head at you.

Her boyfriend nodded, turning to her and taking one of the bags. “I caught her, but then she freaked out and fell for real.”

Your friend nodded. “I should’ve told you earlier, she has a touch-based quirk. Every time someone touches her, she sees snippets of her future with that person.”

Keigo cocked his own head, gazing at you curiously. “I guess her future with me isn’t too positive then?”

Your friend shrugged. “Eh, she just hates seeing parts of the future. She doesn’t want to know what’s going to happen, makes her worry or something like that. Don’t take it too personally, she’s like that with everyone.”

“It-it-“ you rasped out, causing both sets of eyes to swivel towards you. “-I hate it... because-‘cause I can’t ever cha-change it.” You shivered.

Keigo nodded in understanding, before rising to his feet. “Think you can walk to my car? I’ll drive you two home, I think you’d benefit from some rest.”

He dropped you off at your apartment, and you wearily waved at the couple as they drove off, before heading inside.

----

A week passed, then two.

The visions you had concerning Keigo were plaguing your mind, filling your body with anxiety. There had been a distinctive feel of fear during each one, and despite all the other various sensations felt, the most overwhelming had been distress.

Whatever was going to happen, you weren’t going to like it.

You were holing up in your apartment, ignoring your roommates when they knocked on your door, only leaving your room to eat or grab water. You couldn’t sleep, too scared you’d have dreams, or more accurately, nightmares of what you had seen.

Curse your quirk.

Trying to pass time, desperate to keep your mind off of the future, you threw yourself into any activity you could find.

First you tried coloring - it was supposed to be relaxing, but it gave you too much time to think.

Then you tried gaming, spending hours in front of your computer mashing the keys. That worked for a bit, but your eyes and head soon protested.

You listened to music at full volume, tried several workout videos, even resorted to cleaning your space with fervent energy.

None of it took your mind off the inevitable.

“(Y/N), someone’s at the door asking for you.” You jerked awake, slumped over uncomfortably on the floor, the half finished card tower in front of you promptly knocked over at your erratic movements.

“(Y/N)?” Your roommate called again.

“Yeah! Coming, sorry.” You mumbled, scrubbing sleep from your eyes. You guess your body would give out sometime and force you to fall asleep, but as you moved to stand, you sorely wished your body had chosen a more comfortable place to pass out.

Opening the front door, you immediately took a cautious step back, sleepy demeanor vanishing.

Keigo smiled at you, one hand in the pocket of his jeans, the other holding a bouquet of flowers.

Flowers?

“Hey birdie, mind if I come in?”

You stared at him for a second, immediately on guard. Why did he have flowers? Why did he want to come in? Wasn’t he dating your friend? She didn’t live here, what was he doing here?

The man cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow at you. You moved to the side, holding open the door for Keigo to come inside.

Your roommates were home. If anything happened, they would be within earshot.

Keigo shot you a smile and a thanks, before immediately moving into the small living room, taking a seat on the couch. When he saw you still hovering by the open door, he patted the cushion beside him.

“Come sit, I promise I don’t bite.” He thought for a moment, before grinning. “Well, not unless you want me to.”

Hesitantly, you shut the front door, going to sit in a ratty armchair further away from the winged man. If this bothered him, the man didn’t let it show other than a short pause before he spoke.

“So, I know it probably seems like, super weird for me to show up at your apartment, but hear me out.”

Flowers were shoved in your lap, Keigo taking great care to avoid touching you. “I felt bad about the other day, and my girl and I decided that we should get you some flowers. She picked ‘em out, it even says so on the note.” The man laughed, running a hand through his hair.

“She’s so uptight about this kinda stuff. Anyways, just wanted to say that I’m sorry for grabbing you like that. If I had known, I would’ve let you fall flat on your ass. But I know now, so I’ll be better, cool with you?”

Finishing his little speech, Keigo held out his hands, wings stretching behind him to mimic the gesture.

Looking at the flowers in your lap, you felt your hands shaking. Picking up the little note attached to the bouquet, you found that your friend had indeed picked out the flowers, which made sense. They were your favorites, and in a nice color too. Keigo had left a messy, scrawled “Sorry!” in one corner, before signing by his girlfriends name.

“Um, thank you Keigo, you didn’t have to apologize.” You murmured, rubbing one of the flower petals between your fingers. You were so glad your quirk extended solely to humans - if you were shown glimpses of the future of everything you touched, you would most likely go mad.

“Nah, I wanted to. Also wanted to swing by, check how you’re doing. You been taking care of yourself?” He relaxed on the couch, legs spread, arms resting behind his head. This wasn’t his home, yet you totally could believe that it was by the ease with which he owned the space with his presence.

“Oh, well… I’m still here, so…” You shrugged.

Keigo frowned. “That’s not a fun answer. How much sleep you been gettin’ each night? Eight hours?”

You shook your head, huffing out a breath in place of a laugh.

Keigo clicked his tongue. “No sleep? That’s bad for you y’know. Have you at least been drinking water? Eatin’?”

You nodded quickly, looking up to meet the man’s gaze. “I’m not a kid. I appreciate your concern, but it’s not necessary.”

At this point, you think the best thing for your health would be for the man to leave.

The blonde man stared at you for a moment, before sighing. “Alright, I get it. But I don’t want to hear that you’ve passed out or something, got it? Your friend would kill me.”

He rose to his feet, and so did you, walking him to the door. “Thanks Keigo, and thank you again for the flowers. That was very sweet of you both.”

Keigo beamed, giving a two fingered salute. “You deserve it birdie. Well, have a good rest of your day, yeah? Eat something.”

You smiled, at Keigo as he turned away, beginning to whistle as he strolled down the hall.

Once the door was shut, you found a vase for the flowers, filling it with water and setting it on the table. Your roommates would think it was pretty, and it was, a nice little centerpiece.

That really was nice of your friend and Keigo to offer you flowers.

——

“Welcome to Gold Nile Jewelers, how can I-“ You blinked at the man entering the shop. “-Keigo.”

“Birdie? You work here?” He looked just as confused as you felt, cocking his head to the side as he approached the counter.

You looked around the small display room, nodding your head. “Yep… You looking for anything specific today?”

“Ah, right!” He clasped his hands together, bending over to lean on the display counter as he looked up at you. “So professional (Y/N), it’s just me.” The man chuckled.

“Actually, I thought I’d get my girl a cute little bracelet or something like that, you think she’d like that?”

Knowing your friend, she’d be ecstactic. “Oh, absolutely. Any particular occasion, or just an “I love you gift”?” You asked, already running through the list of bracelets in stock.

“It’s our two month anniversary in another week, thought I’d get her a little sumn’ sumn’, y’know?”

Gold Nile Jewelers was an expensive store. You patted yourself on the back for not dropping your jaw when he said “two month anniversary”. People came here for wedding rings and special occasion jewelry, not monthly anniversaries like some high schoolers.

Well, unless they were rich.

You showed Keigo the selection of bracelets currently available, the man listening quietly to your product descriptions and recommendations, asking questions about the fit and feel, and if you think your friend would like a particular one.

“Honestly Keigo, I could choose one I think she’d like, but it’d be more special if you chose for her.” You finally told him. He wasn’t annoying you, but you felt frustrated with his apparent lack of knowledge about his girlfriend. How did he not know what her favorite color was? “I’d suggest coming back in a few days. Go home, see what kind of jewelry she wears, pay attention to the colors she gravitates towards, if she’s allergic to any metals.”

Keigo tapped his chin. “Hmm, you have a good point. I guess I should pay more attention to those kinds of things.”

You nodded as you began to pack the expensive bracelets back into their display cases. “Gifts for a significant other can be hard. Honestly, it means a lot if they pick it out themselves and surprise you with it. Makes it special.”

“Oh, you have a partner?” Keigo asked, bright eyes watching your hands work.

A frown almost crossed your features, but you stopped it before it could show. “Ah, sorry, that’s not really a work-appropriate question.”

“Awh, c’mon! It’s just me, we’re friends, can’t you tell me?” Keigo pouted, batting his eyelashes at you in an exaggerated, dramatic fashion. The display made you laugh, so you indulged him. After all, he was a friend. No harm in telling him something he was bond to know sooner or later.

“I’m actually single right now. But as a jeweler sale associate, I know how much it means to a person when their partner picks out a gift for them, especially if it’s a surprise.”

Keigo nodded his head solemnly. “That makes sense. I better follow your advice then eh? Find out what she likes-“ he mused “-I can do that.”

“Good luck Keigo!” You called after him as he strolled through the door, waving when he smiled at you, giving that same, goofy two fingered salute that he always did when saying goodbye.

The man unnerved you, the visions you had experienced concerning him making you worry. But as long as he was dating your friend, you felt that you’d be fine.

-----

Keigo showed up again two days later.

“Back so soon?”

“You know me-“ He shook out his umbrella, placing it in the drip-bin by the door, wiping his shoes on the mat. “I always try to be speedy with my work.”

It was grey outside, drizzling slightly. You loved these kinds of days, where you could sit near a window and watch it rain while sipping tea. It was so peaceful and calm, and always soothed your stress.

“Find out anything useful?” Whatever he could tell you would make it easier to refine the jewelry selection for his particular needs.

“So, she doesn’t have any bracelets, and I asked her about why and she said they annoy her. She likes necklaces.” He clarified,. You could tell by the way he puffed up that he felt proud of his detective skills. “I even made a note of the lengths - she likes ones that dip low, which-“ He wolf whistled, and your stomach turned. But it was fine, just awkward.

“Alright, I think we have quite a few like that. Let me collect them for you and lay them out.”

Keigo strolled around the display room while you bustled about, looking in each case at the shiny metals and stones

You laid out the necklaces, calling Keigo over. The man smiled brightly at you as you showed him the selection, noticing he was gravitating towards the more simply, elegant choices.

“I’m sure she would be thrilled with any of these.” You offered, Keigo silent as he tried to decide between two necklaces.

Still, the man shook his head, quirking his lips. “I just…. I need to see them on, y’know?” Then he brightened, as if he had just thought of something. “Hey, can you try them on? Model one for me? Just to see what it’d look like.”

You laughed nervously. “Sorry Keigo, but I’m not allowed to do that, it’s against company policy. Only customers get to try on the jewelry, and that’s if they’re supervised.”

“Awh, c’mon! No one else is here, and I won’t tell.” The man leaned forward, shooting you a quick wink before he snatched up one of the necklaces, holding it out towards you. “Please? I just need to see it. I promise I’ll buy it.”

He was so insistent, and no matter how loud the alarm bells were wringing in your head, you felt cowed by his confidence.

“Um, still… I don’t think it’s allowed-“

“Fuck what’s allowed-“ He cut you off, snorting. “-I want to see what it looks like. It’s just me (Y/N), I’m not gonna snitch.”

A heavy sigh, and you finally agreed, taking the necklace from his nimble fingers. You slung it around your neck, not fastening the back as you held it in place. Hopefully that would be enough to sate Keigo’s curiosity.

His eyes immediately followed the curve of the necklace, how it dipped low towards your cleavage (curse you for wearing a lower-cut shirt today). You tried to ignore the leering.

“Here, let me help you fasten it, doesn’t look right otherwise.”

Before you could protest, he was sliding behind you, deft hands reaching for the necklace your had in your grasp.

“Keigo no-!”

But it was too late.

You were pressed up against a wall, face-first, your hands gathered into the small of your back and held there with a vice-like grip. There was pressure between your legs, something hammering into you, in and out, in and out, in and out.

Keigo was talking to you, you could tell it was the man by his voice. What was he saying? You were too overwhelmed with the sensation between your legs to focus on the words falling from his lips.

Sweat dripped from your temples, Keigo’s chest pressed up against your back was slick with perspiration, his nipples hard and pressing into your skin. It was an uncomfortable situation-

And then it changed.

You were tied up now, tight enough that you couldn’t move no matter how you thrashed. Knees bound in such a way so your ass was up in the air, arms stretched out in front of you, anchored to the headboard of the bed.

Keigo was behind you again - nothing to indicate that the tongue running through your core was his, but somehow, you knew.

You were begging and pleading, withing in your restraints against his tongue, but he wouldn’t let up, he wouldn’t let you crest the mountain that had built up inside. He kept chuckling, the vibrations running through you and making you buck your hips. You felt disgusting.

Then the bed was gone, and Keigo was in front of you. He was sitting in an office chair, your legs straddling his lap. Hands on your hips were dragging you back and forth, grinding you on the hard member protruding from Keigo’s lap. He was flushed, letting out little moans as he kept eye contact with you, smiling and praising you.

Then you were back.

Gasping, you shot away from Keigo, the expensive necklace clattering to the ground as it fell from your hands.

The man froze, confusion etched across his features as he watched you bend over, trying to catch your breath, to calm down, to ignore the lingering sensations from the futuristic visions.

“(Y/N)…”

“I think-I think you should leave.” You heaved, tears building. That had been awful, everything had felt good but you hadn’t. You felt uncomfortable and disrespected and stupid. That couldn’t be your future with Keigo, you wouldn’t be able to handle that. He was your friend’s boyfriend, for goodness sake!

Keigo opened his mouth to say something, but you snapped at him “Leave.”, making the man click his jaw shut.

He walked out the door, shooting you concerned glances the entire way.

You felt better as soon as he was gone, the door clicking shut after him. Thankfully, you were the only employee out front at the moment, and no other customers were present, so no one but you and Keigo had experienced your outburst.

Bending down to pick up the necklace, you inspected it carefully, horrified that you had dropped such an expensive item. It was alright though, so you brought it back to the others, shakily beginning to gather them up to put away.

You didn’t want to see Keigo again.

——-

“I just don’t understand!”

Your friend sobbed, surrounded by tissues on your bed, eyes red and blotchy. You wished you could rub her back, our give her a hug, but you knew what would happen. So you stayed on the floor, passing up tissues and offering wordless sympathy.

“Why would he break up with me? Why?”

You shrugged, looking for words. “I don’t know… I’m sorry that this happened, but if he can’t see how awesome you are, then he’s an idiot.”

She sniffed, blowing her nose. You could tell she wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t say anything further, instead choosing to wipe her eyes.

She had called an hour or so ago, tearful, asking if she could come over. Refused to tell you what was wrong, but the second you let her in, she had burst into tears, explaining everything.

Keigo had broken up with her via text, that asshole.

“I just…. I thought we were good. Did I do something wrong? I just don’t get it.”

“Neither do I. You said he just texted you out of the blue?”

She nodded her head, going to blow her nose again. “We were supposed to go out for dinner tomorrow, it’s our two month anniversary.”

You cringed. Did your encounter with Keigo in the jewelry store have something to do with this? Had you driven your friend’s boyfriend away? Had you weirded him out? Oh god, what if this was all your fault?

Your friend broke down into a sob again, slumping onto your bed. You passed her another tissue. “It’ll be okay. I think he’s a stupid fucker that just wanted to play with your heart. He isn’t worth shit. You deserve so much better than him.”

She nodded, blotchy eyes seeking out your own. In the back of your mind, you cringed, seeing the exact same scene from your vision. Well, at least the two of you hadn’t gotten in a fight.

——-

A few weeks later, Keigo was at your door.

“You need to leave. Now.”

“Aw, c’mon (Y/N), at least hear me out?”

You huffed, crossing your arms. Maybe he had a dumb explanation for why he had dumped your friend. You were wary of him accidentally touching you again though. “Fine, but make it quick.”

“No promises.” He grinned, breezing past you and into your apartment. He beelined for the chair you had sat in last time he was here, leaving you to take a seat on the couch.

“Alright-“ He settled in, fixing you with a gleeful eye. “How do you feel about your quirk?”

Caught off guard, you blinked. Wasn’t he going to explain why he had broken your friend’s heart? “Um, what?”

“Your quirk, y’know, the one that makes you see the future?” He leaned forward, rubbing his hands together with a smile. He seemed far too pleased, and it made you nervous.

“I hate it. If I could get rid of it, I would.” You stated, ready to move onto a different topic. But just as you were about to ask him about your friend, he rose to his feet, fishing in his pockets.

He drew out a bracelet, black and red, thin. “Well then, lookie what I have.” The man walked over, sitting down quickly on the couch next to you, causing you to immediately scoot to the end. You didn’t want him touching you.

“Oh, sorry.” He apologized upon noticing your unease. Instead of scooting closer, he simply tossed the bracelet onto your lap, leaning back as he watched you look at it curiously. “Put it on, see how it fits.”

“I don’t need jewelry Keigo, and I think we should be spending our time discussing why you bro-“

“Just put it on (Y/N), please? I promise you won’t regret it.”

Huffing, you did as he asked, clasping the bracelet around your wrist. It fit snug, almost too tight, but it hugged your wrist comfortingly. It was pretty, but you didn’t see what this had to do with your quirk, or with your friend, or anything that held any relevancy.

Bracelet now on, you fixed Keigo with a blank stare. “Happy?”

“I don’t know.” Keigo grinned. “Are you?” And then he was hugging you, arms wrapped around your shoulders, face buried in your neck.

You shrieked, already panicking as you tried to ready yourself for the onslaught of visions that accompanied physical touch.

They never came.

Choking back a surprised gasp, you drew back from his hug to find Keigo’s eyes, the man smiling down at you as he watched your reaction.

“Kei-Keigo…” You stuttered, shocked, surprised, euphoric, confused - so many emotions, all at once. You couldn’t even think to brush off the hands still around your shoulders, thumbs brushing at the tops of your exposed collarbones by the neck of your shirt.

You weren’t able to think rationally, couldn’t focus on anything but the awe you felt at being touched without being slammed with visions of the future.

You forgot about the terrifying visions you had gotten when Keigo touched you.

You forgot about how he had hurt your friend, broke her heart with no explanation.

You forgot about his hands refusing to leave your body.

“Keigo, this is…. Amazing” You breathed, wide eyes snapping up, catching his smiling face, eyes crinkly and twinkly.

“I had my team modify some quirk-cancelling cuffs! You seemed so upset whenever someone touched you, I couldn’t leave you with such a burden.”

Nodding, you returned your gaze to the bracelet, turning your wrist this way and that to look at the bracelet from different angles.

“I mean, I know how much I like being touched, and touching. I think I’d totally die if I couldn’t.” Keigo chuckled, but you weren’t listening.

The rest of his time sitting next to you on the couch was spent explaining the colors he had spent so long picking (“They’re my personal favorite, aren’t they nice?”) and why he had decided on a bracelet (“It could’ve been a necklace, but I think it looks better in it’s original cuff design, looks cooler that way.”).

By the time he had to leave, you were completely sidetracked, so distracted with your shiny new jewelry that you didn’t even remember to ask what his deal was with being a jerk to your friend, his now ex-girlfriend.

-----

“-and then he gave me the bracelet. I wasn’t thinking much after that, I just… I can hug you, isn’t that incredible?”

You gave your friend another squeeze, feeling a smile dance across your face. But then you sobered, pulling back from her with your hands on her shoulders, quickly becoming serious.

“But he’s really starting to kind of weird me out. Why won’t he explain why he broke up with you? He’s being a little bitch. I tried asking him a couple times, but he kept cutting me off, and I feel like the bracelet was a distraction to stop me from busting his chops about his behavior towards you.”

Your friend looked sad for a second, before shrugging. “I dunno, he just said things weren’t working out, and that while he liked me, he’s not ready for a relationship right now ‘cause of where he’s at in his life.”

“Psh-“ You scoffed, going in for another comforting squeeze for your friend. “-that’s code for “I’m a fuckboy and want to sleep around”.”

“I know….. But it still hurts.” You friend sighed, wrapping her arms around your neck. “But at least he gave you that quirk thing. I’ve never seen you so happy.”

“I just wish he was a mildly decent person.” You grumbled, detaching from the hug to sit back, glaring at the ceiling. “He gives me the fucking creeps.”

“How so?” You friend locked her head to the side, throwing her arm over the back of the couch. You had called her over the second Keigo had left, finally gathering your wits about you.

“I dunno…” You shrugged, not quite ready to tell her about the disturbing visions containing him. Did that have something to do with their breakup? Was it your fault? What was going to happen with Keigo? It honestly scared you, the residual feelings and sensations you could remember from the visions.

Your friend nodded understandingly. “Some people just give off those vibes. Well, at least we don’t ever have to see him again. Good riddance I say.”

You agreed.

——-

Knocking on the door, you shuffled your feet as you took in the house.

It was one of those rich places - nice neighborhood, fancy street filled with lavish houses, expensive cars. You felt slightly out of place, shifting from foot to foot in your clearance-rack clothes.

The door swung open, revealing a sleepy Keigo, shirtless, clad in nothing but sweatpants.

“Oh, um-“ You quickly turned, averting your eyes, trying to give the man privacy in case he hadn’t realized he was shirtless. It looked like he had just woken up from a nap, eyes blinking owlishly, hair mussed.

“Hey (Y/N), come on in.”

Still keeping your eyes turned away, you stepped inside the opulent house, trying not to gape too much at the decor inside. You didn’t want to look like a complete peasant in front of Keigo, but he’d already been to your house, so you could imagine that he knew of your poor-ness.

“Something wrong? You can look at me y’know, I’m not gonna turn you to stone or something.” Keigo joked, voice entirely too close for comfort.

Head whipping around, you found that he was too close, practically almost touching you as he stood beside you, head cocked as he watched you.

“No… nothings wrong, you’re just…” You gestured to his torso, and Keigo looked down in confusion, before looking back at you, a grin on his face.

“Ah, just woke up.” He shrugged, before reaching out to touch your arm. “Bracelet still keeping that quirk at bay?”

You nodding, following the blonde as he turned and walked further into his house, towards the kitchen.

“Glad to hear! I just wanted to look at it a bit, make sure nothing’s worn or torn, y’know? Hate for you to have to deal with the no-touching thing again.” He said over his shoulder, gesturing for you to sit down at the island, on one of the barstools.

You did so, watching the man open his fridge, take out a carton of milk, uncap it. “Is it too tight?”

“Nope.”

He drank right out of the bottle, and you watched some dribble out of the corner of his mouth, down his chin. The man finished gulping down the milk, taking the bottle away from his lips to swipe at the white trail of liquid rolling down his chin.

Eyes dark, he made contact with your own eyes as he cleaned his chin with a finger, stuffing it in his mouth to suck it clean.

That was gross.

The next second, he was back to normal, cheerfully putting the milk back into the fridge. “Good, good. Now, mind if I take a look at it? You should keep it on though.”

You nodded, and Keigo straightened, walking around the island to sit next to you, shuffling his stool closer.

He grabbed your wrist, laying it out on the island, before beginning to poke at the bracelet, running his fingers over it, fiddling with it, squeezing the tendons in your hand, smoothing his hand up your arm.

It felt a bit intrusive.

“So the visions are all blocked?”

“Yep.”

“And you can touch and be touched?”

“Yeah.”

“How’s your appetite? Sometimes complete quirk suppression can make you lose your appetite.”

“It’s been normal, I guess I’m a little hungrier than normal, but I’ve been getting out more too, not as afraid of crowds.”

“Nice! And how about your libido?”

You spluttered, choking on your own spit, snatching your hand away from Keigo’s wandering touches.

“Excuse me? That’s a bit personal, thanks.”

Keigo shrugged, bright eyes hooded and lazy. “It’s just a question.”

“Are you done making sure it’s all good? No broken parts?” You changed the subject, narrowing your eyes. You can’t believe your friend had ever dated him, that you had ever thought he was anything but a playboy.

You wouldn’t even be here, in his house, but he had come into the jewelers a while back (both you and your friend had blocked his number), spouting something about your bracelet needing constant checks and maintenance in order to keep suppressing your quirk. (“Wouldn’t want it to stop working, right? Just stop by sometimes, here’s my address.”).

So here you were.

Keigo leaned back a little, raising an eyebrow at your irritated tone of voice. “Woah there, don’t get snippy. I’m doing you a favor, right? I’m not trying to hurt you or something.”

Technically, you guess he was right. But he had played your friend, had fucked with her feelings. He was a fuckboy, liked messing with each and every girl he could find, and you didn’t care to be one of them.

“And I appreciate that Keigo. But I like to keep my private life private.”

Keigo was silent, simply holding out a hand for you to place your arm in, so he could fiddle more with the bracelet.

Several moments of awkward silence passed before he spoke again. “You’re being awfully ungrateful. It makes me think you don’t even want this little gift. If I were you, I’d be doing everything I could to show the person kind enough to do such a thing for me how thankful I was.”

Lost for words, you stared at the man. Was he expecting some sort of award? Some sort of prize? It’s not like you had anything to give him.

“I don’t have anything to give you in thanks. Just my words, which I’ve said plenty of. I didn’t ask you to make this for me.” You pointed out.

“Sure, but you use it, don’t you? You wouldn’t like it if I took it away, right? Think about how miserable your life was before I gave you this.”

Your life had been miserable. Afraid to go out in crowds, afraid to leave the house, Nervous about grocery shopping, about paying and having the cashier touch your hand as they handed over the change.

Scared of public transportation, of coffeeshops and bookstores, of public parks, even your own home. What if one of your roommates forgot and touched you? Or accidentally bumped into you?

Plus, you could hug now, and shake hands, and slap your friends back when she told a horrible joke, or tap her when you wanted her attention.

You didn’t want to go back to before. “I’m sorry Keigo… I really do think it’s lovely, and I can never thank you enough for doing this for me.”

Keigo let go of your arm, and it swung back to your side. You could feel the man looking at you.

“You know what would let me know that you mean it?”

God, it better not be something sexual.

“You could buy me coffee. Or maybe a cookie from that bakery on 1st Avenue, you know the one? With the little bunny pastries?”

That surprised you.

“You go there? That’s my favorite place.” You mused, looking at Keigo in surprise. He didn’t seem the kind of guy who’d like a place like that. But appearances could be deceiving.

“Of course! I really like their stuff.”

“Alright,” You conceded, rising to your feet. “I’ll get you some stuff from there. Want it today?”

Keigo rose to his feet as well, crossing his arms over his bare chest. “Yeah! Let me get dressed real quick, and then I’ll go with you. Don’t go anywhere birdie.” He shot you a wink, before sauntering past you, out of the kitchen. You raised a brow, surprised. He meant to go with you?

“Make yourself at home while you wait, don’t be afraid to kick up your feet!”

——-

The bakery smelled as lovely as usual.

A warm atmosphere, good food, friendly employees. It was your favorite place for a reason.

“Alright, what do you want?” You asked Keigo, the two of you staring up at the menu.

“Hmm, I don’t know. What are you going to get?”

“Probably a muffin, those are my favorite.”

“What!?! That’s my favorite too! How crazy.” Keigo smiled at you, dimples showing. You got the feeling that he was brown-nosing you, but you kept the thought to yourself, striding up to the counter to order.

Muffins purchased, you approached Keigo, who was lounging by one of the display cases, admiring the delicate, mouthwatering masterpieces held within.

“All good to go?” His smile was so charming, so friendly, you almost caught yourself wanting to see it more. Huffing in irritation at yourself, you pushed past him, shoving the bag with his muffin into his chest.

“Here’s your stuff. I’m going home now, see you around.”

“Wait!” Keigo turned, jogging a little to catch up as you exited the bakery. “We gotta eat these before they get cold - hey, birdie, are you listening to me?“

You weren’t, stoically keeping your head turned forward, walking with determination. There was only so much of Keigo that you could tolerate, and you had reached your limit. He was starting to really annoy you, didn’t he get that you wanted to go home? You’ll just eat your muffin on the subway, it’s not that hard.

“(Y/N)-“ His sudden growl was punctuated by an arm on your shoulder, spinning you around and pulling you towards the man.

“Hey-!” The sudden collision of your face with his chest knocked your breath away, almost causing you to drop your own muffin in the process.

When you managed to gather yourself, you shot a glare up at Keigo’s face, only to find the blonde smirking down at you, a fierce glint in his eyes.

“I expect you to listen when I’m talking, got it? I don’t like being ignored.”

That’s evident.

You tried to back away, but he still had a hand on your shoulder, squeezing you tight to him. “Keigo! Let me go, you stupid idiot-“

“Stop it, I’m not doing anything to you, ya big baby.” He cooed down at you, before taking his hand away, letting you stumble backwards.

He was just messing with you, teasing you. It was obvious, yet still you allowed him to be around you.

“Alright, I’m sorry, I know all the touching’s gotta be new still. Wanna go eat these in the park? I’ll buy you some ice cream if you want.”

“I don’t want ice cream, I want to go home.”

Keigo frowned, walking after you when you turned on your heel, heading for the subway. “Why do you dislike me so much? I’ve done so much to help you, and yet you spit in my face. Your parents ever teach you how to be grateful? Or even respectful?”

You gasped at his accusation, stopping in your tracks to whirl around, only to find the man far closer than what you had expected. Still, you tried to hide your surprise at his proximity, jabbing a finger in his direction.

“You are a playboy, you broke my friend’s heart, and you want to sleep with every single person you come across just to mess with their feelings. I don’t want to be around you. I won’t get dragged into that.”

The man watched you, face solemn and contemplative. “Is that really how you see me?”

“Why would I say any of that unless it was true?”

He ran a hand through his hair, looking up and around, as if gathering his bearings, before back down at you.

“Have you ever considered that I’m the one getting my heart broken?”

“Yeah right-“ You scoffed, only for Keigo to cut you off.

“People want to sleep with me because they think it’ll get them something that they want. Fifteen second fame, a piece in a tabloid about my “new lover”…. Think it’ll help them further their career, or that I’ll give them money. I can’t find anyone real.

“And my friend wasn’t real enough for you?” You spat, not believing him for a second.

“Nope. You think she liked me for who I am?”

“Uh, yeah? She gushed to me all the damn time about how good you were, how she felt about you. That girl held nothing but love and affection for you.”

The man snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure, love for my wallet.”

“She’s not like that.” You argued, brows furrowing.

“Really? Cause she was sucking me dry, and not even in a sexy way.”

You crinkled your nose at what he was implying. Your friend wasn’t like that, she truly had felt for Keigo, had liked him as her boyfriend. She wasn’t just a leech.

“I’m done talking about my failed love life.” Keigo said lowly, nudging your shoulder. “I just thought two friends could hangout, but it seems like you think all I do is try and fuck people.”

“No, Kiego…. That’s not what I meant.” Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, but right now…. You almost felt a twinge of sympathy for him.

Some of what he was saying made sense, how people would try and use him for various reasons. But that still didn’t explain his sudden and harsh breakup with your friend. And over text no less, a complete douche move!

But you felt bad about his words, about how he seemed to actually want to hangout, and yet you were accusing him of trying to sleep with you. But what about those visions you had had? Was that even how they went? Or were you remembering falsely based on your bias towards the man?

And what about his suggestive touches, his leering gaze? Was that maybe just how he always was, and it wasn’t exclusive to you? Were you inflating your place in his life, thinking that he wanted you?

It was confusing, and you didn’t want to think about it, try and untangle the lies from the truth. Right now, you just wanted to eat your muffin.

“If you really didn’t mean it, then can we go eat these in the park? I just want to chill with someone that isn’t trying to gain something from me. I want to spend time with someone that’s real.”

With a half-irritated sigh, you nodded, hoping you wouldn’t regret hanging out with the obnoxious man.

-----

He kept calling you, texting you. You’d had to unblock his number at some point, in order for him to text you about the bracelet and when he needed to look at it.

“Come overrrrr, I’m bored!”

“Birdie, are you hungry? The delivery place gave me extra Torikatsu and I don’t want it to go bad. Can I come drop it off?”

He’d swing by the jewelers, leaning over the counter to talk to you about a recent shoot he’d booked, or something he saw recently.

Keigo seemed to slowly insert himself into every facet of your live, against your will, ignoring every subtle, irritated attempt of yours to turn him away. Every single time you saw him, your mind would inevitably think of the visions, but you felt like you couldn’t trust yourself with those anymore.

The man assured you at every step, he had no romantic feelings for you, he just wanted a friend, someone to put him in his place, be honest with him.

You definitely were honest.

Snapping at him when he showed up at your apartment uninvited, coming up behind you on the street and grabbing your sides, laughing when you shrieked and tried to hit your attacker, only to realize it was Keigo.

Tearing into him when he tried to talk badly about your friend - she had been having less and less contact with you, and you couldn’t figure out why. Now your relationship with her was reduced to curt text messages. Maybe she was just going through a hard time, and wanted alone time? Still, you let her know you were there for her, whenever she needed.

You were honest when Keigo asked your opinion on food, TV shows, clothes, movies. It was almost satisfying saying something sucked, just to see Keigo’s face fall slightly, before he shook his head, whining.

“Then help me pick something out! I can’t do it without you-“

He totally could, he was just being a baby.

The more he inserted himself into your life, the more you realized that he was akin to a petulant child, just with muscles and a penchant for inappropriate touching.

Whenever he saw you, he’d try to draw you into a hug, letting his hands drop far down your back, way too low for you to feel comfortable. You’d slap them away, and Keigo would laugh, before ruffling your hair.

He’d have you come over so he could check your quirk suppressor, except he was in the middle of a show, and it was getting to the best part. (“Sit down, shhh, it’s just getting good!”) You’d have to sit through the entire thing, enduring Kiego’s hand lazily drawing shapes over your pants on your thigh, simply putting it back whenever you shoved it off.

He was insufferable, irritating to no end, but you could tell he was a lonely man, bitter about his love life and with his friendships.

So you tolerated his presence.

After all, he wasn’t trying to hurt you. That’s something he reiterated every single time you shied away from his touch. He made you feel like a fool for thinking the man was hitting on you, when he made it so clear that he wasn’t, only interested in friendship.

Until you fell asleep at his house.

Another one of those days were he needed to look at your quirk suppressor (which you were 99% sure was fine, it seemed like he just enjoyed seeing it on your wrist). He had been rummaging around in his room before he had to run and open the front door for you, talking as he walked back to return to his previous task.

Apparently he was trying to find a good shirt, seeing as how he had pants on, but his chest was bare. Keigo instructed you to sit on the bed for a second while he retreated into his massive closet, trying to find a good shirt to go with the rest of his outfit.

His bedroom was pretty large, a full California King taking up the majority of the space, neatly made. The sheets and blankets felt soft beneath your fingers as you sat on it’s edge, prepared to wait for Keigo for a bit.

The man always took his fashion very seriously - one time he’d even spent two hours trying on clothes until he’d decided on an appropriate outfit to go to the park.

So you followed your tired eyes, exhausted from work and dealing with Keigo, worrying about your friend, daily life stressors and the like. Keigo wouldn’t mind if you laid back, right? Your feet wouldn’t be on the bed, so it’d be fine.

And it was fine, pleasant, the room the perfect temperature.

You were roughly jerked out of sleep by pressure. Pressure on your hips, pressure on your lips.

Eyes jolting open, you tried to inhale, only to find yourself unsuccessful.

Keigo was on top of you.

Panicking, your hands came to push at him, a muffled sound of protest being squeaked out from where his lips pressed against yours.

Noticing you were awake, Keigo pulled back, smiling the whole while.

“I’m not willing to wait anymore, I just gotta have you.”

His eyes were glinting, hair tousled, still shirtless. You felt goosebumps arise as you remembered the vision you had so long ago, of this exact moment.

“Wai-mmph!” His lips were on yours again, passionate and warm, moving eagerly. A wet tongue pressed at the seam of your mouth, surprising you and making you blanch, which allowed the man access.

Kiego’s tongue explored the inside of your mouth, playfully tapping your own wet muscle, encouraging you to lift it and wrestle with him.

This was too weird, this wasn’t happening, you couldn’t do this-

Biting down hard, you snapped your teeth shut on his tongue, and Keigo yelped, drawing back immediately.

“Ouch, what the fuck!?! Chill out (Y/N), geez.” His hand was dabbing at his mouth, wincing when it came in contact with his bleeding tongue. You had bitten him deep, but you weren’t focused on that right now.

“What are-what are you doing?” Your voice was breathless, disoriented. The room felt…. Dark, and suffocating, as if it was closing in on the two of you, trapping you.

Keigo looked down at you, and it was only then that you realized you had been moved to lie on the bed fully, shoes off, legs splayed. The man rested on his stomach between them, his weight pressed against your body, keeping you still.

“I told you, I can’t wait anymore. I’ve been as nice as I can, but it’s time you started paying me back for everything I’ve done for you.”

What? Paying him back-was he talking about the quirk suppressor he had gifted you? Had he been lying about his true intentions this whole time?

“That’s not right, it was a gift, you-you don’t have to pay back a gift.” You spluttered, feeling as if your chest was collapsing.

Keigo shook his head, swooping down to leave a bloody kiss on your forehead, which you cringed at, before pulling back to speak.

“Nah, it wasn’t a gift. You know how expensive it was? You were always gonna have to compensate me. Now shush, I wanna feel you-“

One of his hands grabbed your jaw, keeping your face turned towards his, pressing down until tears formed in your eyes. His lips were bloody from the bite on his tongue, tasting unmistakably like iron.

You didn’t want this.

Trying to bite him again left you with a slap to your thigh, making you cry out. Keigo huffed out a laugh against your mouth.

He detached from your lips, just to start nibbling at your jawline, elating streaks of red where his lips touched.

“God, you are so sexy. I was trying to chill, but then I came out and you were sleepin’ all cute, and I couldn’t fucking stop myself from touching.”

“Stop doing this, I can pay you with something different. I don’t wanna do this Keigo.” You whispered, on the verge of crying.

“No, I get to decide what you’ll be doing for me, it’s my bracelet-“

“It’s not, you gave it to me, please stop-“

“Shut up.” He growled sinking his teeth into the side of your neck, nipping at the skin hard enough to have you screaming. “You’re so ungrateful, where’s my thanks? I’ve done so much for you.”

“Thank you, thank you Keigo, I appreciate it all-“ You hurried out, hoping it was what he wanted to hear “But I can’t do this, please don’t make me. I wanna go home.”

“There we go, I like the sound of you thanking me. You’re going to thank me for each and every time you cum tonight, got it?”

“No, no, we can’t do this, I can’t! Get off of me, please-“

“You’ll do it, or else I’ll whip you until your flesh hangs off of you in strings.” He hissed, squeezing your jaw cruelly.

The tears in your eyes overflowed as you fell silent.

“Aw, birdie, don’t cry. I’m not gonna hurt you, I never have, right?” He waited for a second, watching your face before he pressed harder, eyes hardening “Right?“

You nodded jerkily, and Keigo came to kiss your tears away, savoring their salty taste as they rolled down your cheeks.

“Keigo, this isn’t right though, please get off me. I don’t want this-“

“You want me to take this away?” A hand caught your shaking wrist, the one that had the quirk suppressor fastened snugly around it, wrenching it up so both of you could see it. “Huh? Put you back where you were in your miserable little life? Running away from everyone, holing up in your apartment, not willing to touch or be touched…”

The very thought made your insides churn, and a fresh round of tears rolled down your face as you shook your head no, lips wobbling as you whined. You felt so pathetic, so small and dumb underneath Keigo.

“That’s what I thought. You’re going to relax now, right? No more begging unless it’s for more.”

He didn’t wait for an answer, beginning to shuffle around until he could slide his hands under your shirt, pressing against your tummy as you flinched away.

“Don’t worry birdie, you’re gonna like every single thing we’re gonna do. You’ve had sex now, yeah? Since I gave you the bracelet?”

You shook your head “no”, it’s not like you were eager for sex before you got it, and all the touching-without-terrifying-visions thing was still new to you, the dating world was being eased into. Somehow though, every single date seemed to be crashed by the man on top of you.

Keigo lit up like a Christmas tree, licking his lips gleefully. “Okay, okay, I can-whew, that’s hot-I can be gentle.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you, his hands skirting up your ribs, shucking up your shirt as the traveled higher and higher.

“Keigo please-“

“Don’t you dare say stop, I’m not gonna. You’re the first person that doesn’t want anything from me, you’re real, and I’m not stopping.”

His admission made you cringe, recoiling from his touch. He followed you, palms finally smoothing over your breasts, over your bra.

“You’re going to do what I say, or else this-“ Your wrist was wrenched into view, red-and-black bracelet glittering. “-gets removed. And I’ll still do whatever the fuck I want, but you’ll be off in your mind having visions of who-knows-what while I have my way. Got it?”

Your blood chilled, body suddenly feeling ice cold. His tone was dead serious, spitting out the words with a sense of finality.

“So, just lay there and take it birdie, I’ll be good to you.”

#yandere keigo takami #keigo x reader #Keigo Takami #yandere takami keigo #takami keigo #takami keigo x reader #Yandere bnha #yandere #tw.dubcon #tw.noncon #tw.somno #tw dubcon #creepy keigo

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 years ago

Text

All right, it’s that time of week again. Last week I ended up screenshotting like half the episode and stopping to comment nearly every few seconds, at times. But I can’t keep that up every week, so I’ll try to comment less this time, I have shit to do. I mean, I don’t, I’m waiting on a potential job offer at the moment but in the meantime have fuck all to do. So we’ll see how this goes.

Thoughts on Taskmaster s15e03, written as I watch it.

- Solid beginning-of-episode banter this week. I’ve said before that I think the funniest ones are when they have Greg accuse Alex of being right-wing. And it’s followed by Alex accusing Greg of “going all wacky with the scoring”, and giving out nine points or one point or seventeen points. I assume they just stick these auto-cue things wherever and it’s not a specific reference to anything, but that does fit in well after the very up and down scoring of the previous episode. Good start. I also like the prize task, lots of room for differing definitions of “heroic”.

- Oh, Ivo. It was such a good idea. Worked in Greg’s love of food-based prizes, Greg’s love of Greg-based prizes, and some wordplay with Hero chocolates. The fact that I was so impressed with the description makes the screenshot even funnier, for how much of a contrast it is to see something so disappointing.

Do we think Ivo made that himself? Normally with something like that, I’d assume the production crew made it. They probably did in this case, I guess. But I can picture Ivo making that.

- Ivo:

Me: And we’ve now brought back what I was talking about in the first episode, where Mae and Ivo are the two people competitive enough to put effort into pandering to Greg just for a few extra points, but when Mae does it it comes off as impressively calculating, and when Ivo does it, it comes off as desperate. Not because they do it particularly differently, it’s just the difference in their personas.

Ivo:

Oh good, glad we’re on the same page.

Also, great screenshot, I feel like the way they’re all looking at Ivo and his desperation really summarizes the group. We can’t even see Frankie’s face but we can still see he’s mentally calling Ivo pathetic. Jenny’s game to play along, and entertained by the strange display. Kiell’s not having it, shaking his head. And Mae’s glaring at him like, “Being competitive enough to pander to Greg is my thing, how dare you steal it?”

...I would like to apologize for suggesting Mae and Ivo were the only people on this season willing to go that far for points.

Okay, it’s possible that everyone but Frankie would throw their own cat under a car in order to win this season. I approve of that level of play.

- Kiell’s prize actually turns out to reference the Enrique Iglesias song, making him the second person to do a play on the word “hero”. I approve of that level of play.

- Okay. They’re going to relase an outtake or something with uncensored screenshot of Frankie Boyle’s prize, right? They can’t just leave us with that.

You have to zoom in a little to see it, but I enjoy this screenshot of everyone looking at Frankie Boyle’s image of explicit superhero fanart, because of the one person who isn’t looking at it. Mae Martin is looking at Frankie with an expression that makes me remember their stand-up set from like 2015 in which they mentioned reading explicit Harry Potter fanfiction, specifically of the Bellatrix/Hermione variety, as a teenager. They’ve heard of this before.

- Actually, I rewound the video after writing that point becacuse I’d missed a bit, this screenshot from right after they first put Frankie’s prize on the screen is pretty good too:

You know, when it was first announced that Frankie Boyle would be on this show, there was a lot of talk about how weird that would be, given that Frankie’s known for being an evil scary bulldozer or whatever, and this show is a fun light entertainment. And I said I’m excited to see Frankie show how much that isn’t true, how he is very vulgar but the most definitive features of his comedy aren’t even about that, they’re about the fatalistic attitudes and attempts to tie together disparate philosophies. One of the few reactions to Frankie’s casting that I heard and thought was actually accurate about Frankie Boyle came from Nish Kumar, who said Frankie is very well read and intelligent so that’ll be interesting. Nish made it sound like Frankie should be grouped more with the Victoria Coren-Mitchell type of contestant, the really book smart people thrown into another world (not that it works out well for most of them), than with people known for being scary and angry. I think this is true.

…Having said that, I’m pretty sure Frankie Boyle just became the first person to ever bring in explicit pornography as a Taskmaster prize (correct me if I’m wrong, because I could be forgetting something, I’m pretty sure even Rhod Gilbert didn’t go as far as that), and that would be exactly what someone would expect if all they knew about Frankie Boyle came from YouTube compilations of his “most savage” Mock the Week moments and “audience annihilation” stand-up. However, despite all of that, I think I continue to approve of this level of play.

- Me, when I first woke up this morning: How come this old post I made last year suddenly got a bunch of new notes?

Me, after seeing this:

Ah, that would explain it.

- Slightly weaker entry from Mae considering their strong prize task efforts from the last couple of episodes, but I did enjoy them calling Ivo a coward for no reason whatsoever.

- I think Frankie got underscored here, but he was overscored in the prize task from the first episode so it evens out.

- I can’t stop thinking it so I’m going to say it one fucking time and then I’ll be done, okay?

Mae Martin looking really pleased with themself in a white shirt is... that’s pretty good. That a pretty good thing. I mean, if I were Charlotte Ritchie, I know which one I’d choose (no fault of Kiell’s, as people of his gender are rarely my top choice in that type of thing). Sorry, I needed to mention it. We can all move on now.

- …Starting to wonder if there might be anything problematic in my continued jokes about the idea the Mae Martin and Kiell Smith-Bynoe are competing for the affections/hand in marriage of Charlotte Ritchie, just because they both played her partners in sitcoms. Feeling the need to clarify that I am aware that Charlotte Ritchie is a person with her own autonomy, I just think the phrase “battle of Charlotte Ritchie’s husbands” is funny. Okay, now we can move on.

- I’ve enjoyed this greatly so far, but my first proper laugh out loud of the episode didn’t come from any of the prizes, it came from Greg telling Alex to “get fucked” over a time/thyme pun. I approve of that level of play, Alex.

- Oh, I really like this task. A good level of difficulty, I think. And lots of room for different methods on both time keeping and word listing.

- Frankie immediately makes a good point - I bet stand-up comedians are, on average, better than most people at keeping time in their heads because they have to know how far they are into the allotted time for their set. I was just thinking of that last night, when I was at a comedy show and the comedians got no indication of the time until the guy running the night came to awkwardly stand in the corner and indicate they had to wrap it up (the actual comedy clubs have a red light, this pub has a guy who stands there awkwardly, it’s rather less subtle). I thought if I ever tried this, I’d put a timer on my phone and leave it somewhere visible to me, but the comedians I saw didn’t do that. So I guess people do get used to keeping time in their heads, with practice.

I assume all of these people are now going to fuck it up and disprove this theory, I’m just saying it makes theoretical sense for Frankie Boyle to be right that stand-up comedians should be able to time twenty minutes in their heads.

- Damn. Frankie Boyle’s Taskmaster instincts are obviously weak, not even noticing any of the devices that were clearly put there so people could try to figure out how to use them (students of the game Mae and Ivo will be all over that stuff, and I imagine Kiell and his competitiveness will also be looking for tricks). But his stand-up instincts remain strong. Doing 23 minutes when he was supposed to do 20 sounds like what Frankie would probably do in a comedy club normally.

Jenny Eclair not so much, but to an amusing degree. I did like her system of repeating the same word over and over, and then she was so pleased with herself for coming up with it that she got too into it that and lost track of time.

- Alex:

Me: So Ivo loses his mind in a caravan and they’re saving him for last. Great.

- Having now seen Mae and Kiell’s attempts, I feel this is a sort of play about the generational divide. Frankie and Jenny rely on their innate sense of timekeeping, a skill developed over years of applying their trade. The younger ones, Mae and Kiell, try to find tricks and shortcuts that will give them the answer. But then, they find that their tricks don’t work, those new-fangled devices like watches and clocks on top of caravans fail them, because we should never rely on devices alone, we need to have our own independent skills like our ancestors did! But then, in another twist, the young people adapt to this development, rely on their wits and their instincts, and it ends up actually working. Mae’s last-minute instincts worked even better than Frankie’s careful skill, and Kiell’s worked almost as well. And they both worked much better than Jenny’s, because when I say the older people had the skills I really just mean Frankie, it turns out Jenny Eclair has no idea how long a minute is.

- Right, I was expecting Ivo to lose his mind. Wasn’t quite expecting him to forget how to count to 40.

- I feel like this is a pretty good screenshot for summarizing what Taskmaster does to people:

- Actually I think this is a more thorough summary, because it still shows us a guy staring in bafflement at a row of hour glasses and saying “Mississippi”, but it also includes the omnipresent sense of Alex watching and judging them while they fall apart:

This one captures that especially well, with Ivo literally framed in a window like he’s a zoo animal put there for Alex’s enjoyment.

- Oh, Ivo found the clock. And it appears to actually be working, I’d assumed Alex was joking when he said it was working at first and just broken for Mae. That’s not really fair to Mae, if they only didn’t get a non-working clock due to rain. However, it’s not going to help Ivo unless he knows what time he went in there.

- And he just tried to pull it through a sunroof that’s barely half its size.

- I do not understand what Ivo is doing. He’s now using the clock, the hourglasses, and has shouted at random people on the street. The latter of which is not a bad idea. How could would it be to live near the Taskmaster house and just walk around out there during filming days, in case someone needs to shout for help with a task, or Johnny Vegas needs to bag you like a Christmas tree or something? Anyway, Ivo seems to have done some math that is based on the assumption that he’d been in the caravan for 13 minutes, but doesn’t explain how he got to that assumption.

- Oh shit, it kind of worked, though. The overall lesson here is that no careful system works as well as just throwing stuff at the wall and making shit up.

- Oh, the tension at the end. You know, I thought I caught Kiell’s mistake with the world length while they were showing his video, but then I got distracted by Mae and figured I probably imagined it. I didn’t catch Mae’s though.

- After we learn that Jenny Eclair gets three whole points despite her terrible time, we get a screenshot that I think might also summarize the generational divide, this one in whether they know how to spell words:

Also, I did not think of Jenny’s trick to just use the same word over and over, but the obvious thing to do would just be to list 40 four-letter words, right? That can’t be that difficult, there are so many of them. Or if that’s too hard, 20 of four letters and 20 of 3. Or split it into 4, 3, and 2. That has to leave less room for error than the system of starting with a really long word and getting progressively shorter. Is what I did think earlier in the task, but then I got distracted by seeing Mae try to climb on a roof, and I forgot to write it down. But at the end, we see that yes, it turns out it was important to create a system that leaves little room for error.

- Ooh, first look at the indoor section of the location tasks:

Interestingly desolate and mildly creepy, I like it. Also, it seems that they are sticking with a potato theme for this season.

- They’re also sticking with the “callbacks to season 2″ theme, it seems. Last week they had a potato bridge, and a potato across the untouchable red green task. This week it’s reminiscent of the live task that very controversially won Katherine Ryan the season when they had to throw rabbits into their hats.

- Never mind, I was wrong in my initial assessment. They’re not throwing things into their hats like in season 2. It’s much more like the season 6 live task, when they had to sit there and let things fall, and catch some things but not others.

- Okay, this has created more proper, out-loud laughter than anything else this episode. Well done, Alex, you were absolutely right in your theory that it’s very funny to watch comedians sit on a chair and get hit on the head with objects.

- This is basically a cartoon:

- Jenny Eclair’s uncontrollable laughter while being pelted by potatoes is fucking delightful.

- There has to be a better way to do it than that, a way to get more than four points. But not a way to have more fun than Jenny, probably.

- I just saw Ivo refuse a pen because the task said they can’t touch anything, and that’s an interesting point. I understand the impulse to argue that, but I don’t know how you would. They all touched their hats and the stool.

- In another slightly adjacently season 2-related thing, the person putting stuff on the machine happens to look like Lucy Beaumont:

- And they’ve found a trick. But like with the people who wrote it down or memorized it, it immediately becomes clear that knowing the pattern doesn’t help you all that much in the heat of the moment for this task. This task isn’t about memorizing or reading patterns, it’s about comedians getting hit on the head with stuff, and Jenny Eclair laughing really hard on a stool.

- Apparently I wrote the previous point too soon - knowing the pattern doesn’t help when you fall apart as hard as Ivo, but Mae had it for a while! Of course Mae had it, how could I have doubted Mae? Again: Mae calculating, Ivo desperate. Mae staring intensely at the wall pattern, careful to not to lose focus for a moment. Ivo sitting back and narrating his own defeatist breakdown while being pelted by potatoes.

- Current episode title drop tally: Ivo 2, Frankie 1

- Holy hell, it looked like Mae had done well but it was hard to tell if that was just editing. But no, I’ve just heard the scores and it turns out Mae Martin’s brilliant. Also, I haven’t yet heard the verdict on the touching thing, but it’ll be ridiculous if anyone gets disqualified, unless they all do. They all touched the hats, at least. Ivo held the task (like, the physical paper on which the task was printed) the whole time. Everyone touched stuff. You can’t enforce the rule about touching literally nothing, because it can’t be followed. They had to touch their clothes and their shoes and the air.

- Again, I don’t think Greg let anything “slide” there, it’s an unenforceable rule. But it does mean Jenny leaned over to confirm the result with Mae, and Mae responded with a good enough smile to make the silly debate worth having.

Okay, okay, now I’m done talking about that, really.

Excellent. I’m right with you, Greg.

- And it’s a team task! I haven’t seen the task yet, but good start if we know they’ll be taking these particular teams and making them do unreasonable and prolonged violence together.

I’d call this a different type of awkward, but almost an equal level of it, to their first meeting last week, when they could barely even look at each other. I have no idea what’s going on, but glad to see it’s developing laterally, instead of into any sense that anyone is going to relax. Now bring on the violence!

- Before I learned who was in the season 15 cast, if you asked me what screenshot I’d most like to see appear on a Taskmaster episode someday, this one would look pretty fucking good:

- This one’s pretty good too, actually:

- Other stuff aside, it is interesting to have them do it in slow motion and then speed it up. That has to be a complicated thing to figure out and might cool or might be a disaster. Nice addition to the task. Also weapons. Weapons are a good addition to any task.

Good stuff. Someone cast these people in an action movie.

- All right, the Kiennae (does that one work?) fight gave me several significant laughs, well done. Obviously pitting the other two against Jenny was the right call. The weapons were well used. The umbrella was a lovely touch. Made use of the shed. Also, this is a big episode for Jenny Eclair having the time of her life. I see why they got her on the podcast this week, she’s loving this.

I’d happily watch this task get put into every episode. Different fight each time.

- Okay, I don’t know what I expected from the Franko fight, but that was… actually quite good. I was ironically saying the previous one looked like it could be an action movie, but this one had it down. The initial stuff with Frankie and Ivo had proper choreography.

And then… could they spin a narrative here? I haven’t watched the studio bit yet, but I’m going to say if they wanted to, they could argue that this was social commentary. Posh Englishman starts a fight with working class Celtic man (I mean, Frankie hasn’t been able to claim working class for a long time, but he was once), fights for a bit but then calls in servants to fight the battle for him, as they kick his opponent to the ground while the posh man reads a book about flower arranging. It’s an allegory for British history. There’s an argument that there’s a narrative here, and Greg loves a narrative.

- Okay, I had a couple of seconds of being disappointed that their narrative was one of eviction notices an not of historical allegories, before being hit with the news that those were Frankie Boyle’s actual children kicking the shit out of him. Holy hell, that is so cute. The real narrative is that the evil scary bulldozer comedian is an actual human, with a family, and that is genuinely absolutely adorable.

- Good scoring, I’d have been genuinely annoyed if Franko had gotten fewer than five points for that. That was excellently done.

- I often write less about the live tasks than other tasks in these long posts, because by the end this has taken up so much time and I just want to watch the episode without pausing to write stuff down all the time. But obviously I need to screenshot this:

Also, I love this task. That’s one of my favourite forms for Taskmaster to take, just going to an absurd degree of specificity. Not to be too dramatic about the words “Know the most facts about sausages”, but I feel like that’s both the heart of what sets this show apart and the essence of Alex Horne’s sense of humour, taking something like that and pretending it’s serious, and playing it so straight with desks and a sausage exam.

One of the fun things about British slang that I did not know until I read David Mitchell’s autobiography a few years ago is that “swot” means “nerd”. Ivo, you fucking nerd, but in this case, I mean that in a very good way. That’s two out of three live tasks in which Ivo has done something awesome. Calculating and desperate, and it paid off. I approve of that level of play.

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