#rejected misaki

[genericruleroftheflies]

“They’re toxic!”

But have you ever consider they are also silly?

[ahb-writes]

"I'm so glad. I am allowed to fall in love..." (Mika Egashira)

(from Skip & Loafer #7)

[vandme12]

Cereal Cannibal - Misaki x Seung-min Kim G.N Reader

WORDS : 7000

PROMPT : FALLING FOR YOU

CHARACTER USED : Misaki from Killer Chat!

INSPIRATION FROM : Seung-min Kim from My Sweet! Housemate!

SUMMARY : Misaki gets a new house, with a housemate, who's their landlord, who's also a cannibal

Misaki sat on the cold, metal floor of their bunker, staring at the last few bills in their hand. It wasn’t enough. Not even close. The place they had been calling home was no longer an option—issues with the owner, debts piling up, and now, they were being forced out. It sucked. Hard.

They had no choice but to leave.

“You should check out the deep web listings,” Ronin suggested, leaning back against the worn-out couch that Misaki had scavenged months ago.

Angel scoffed. “That’s a disaster waiting to happen.”

V, ever the practical one, just shrugged. “It’s not the worst idea. There are some surprisingly legit places there. Just be careful.”

Misaki groaned, running a hand through their short, messy hair. “I don’t have a choice, do I?”

Their friends didn’t say anything, and the silence was answer enough.

So Misaki did what they had to do. Digging through the deep web, they scrolled past one shady listing after another until they stumbled upon an absurdly cheap offer—1,000 yen rent. The catch? They had to live with their landlord.

“Well,” they muttered to themselves, “I’ve dealt with worse.”

With a deep breath, they sent in their application. It wasn’t long before they got a response—approved.

Misaki sat cross-legged on the cold, metal floor of their bunker, hands clasped together as they muttered an impromptu prayer. “Listen, God, I know I haven’t been the best person—kinda kill people for a living, but, uh, desperate times. If you could just let this rent application go through, I swear I’ll… I don’t know, maybe stop calling Angel cannibal?”

“Liar,” Angel deadpanned

“Okay, okay. I’ll just do less.”

Ronin rolled their eyes. “You’re praying to God for a shady deep web apartment?”

“Hey, I’m broke, desperate, and out of options. Divine intervention is my last hope.”

V, raised a brow. “Or, you know, common sense.”

Before Misaki could snap back with a sarcastic remark, their laptop chimed with a notification. Their heart pounded as they scrambled to check their email. They half-expected a rejection, a scam link, or some weird cryptic message about selling their soul. But instead, there it was:

“Come on, come on,” they muttered under their breath, bouncing their leg impatiently.

Ding!

Their email refreshed, and there it was—a response.

“APPROVED.”

Misaki blinked. That was… fast. Almost too fast. Shouldn’t there have been, like, an entire government-level interrogation? A credit check? A deep dive into their very questionable employment history? Instead, it was just a short email.

They clicked it open, and their eyes skimmed over the entire terms and conditions.

All ten lines.

If you like the house, come to the address and check it out.

I’ll give you a copy of the key.

Consider yourself my roommate/housemate if you stay.

Pay rent on time, or at least try.

Don’t break my stuff.

If you see anything weird, ignore it.

Seriously, don’t ask questions.

The basement is off-limits.

No loud noises after midnight.

Welcome home! 😊

Misaki reread the email three times before looking up at their friends. “This is either the best or the worst decision of my life.”

Ronin “That’s it? I’ve seen more rules on the back of a cereal box.”

Message: Hey, if you like the house, come to the address and check it out. I’ll give you a copy of the key, and boom, you’re my roommate/housemate. See ya soon. – Landlord

“…That’s it?” Misaki blinked.

Angel talked. “Where’s the absurdly long lease agreement? The blood pact? The firstborn child sacrifice clause?”

V looked unimpressed. “I was at least expecting a ‘terms and conditions may apply.’”

Ronin whistled. “Honestly, that’s the most efficient rental process I’ve ever seen.”

Misaki reread the email, waiting for some hidden attachment or fine print, but nope. That was the whole thing. “They didn’t even do a background check.”

Angel smirked. “That’s probably a good thing for you.”

“Fair.”

Misaki took a deep breath, looking at their friends. “Alright, I guess I’m moving in. If I disappear, avenge me.”

“Absolutely not,” V said immediately. “You did this to yourself.”

Ronin told “Just make sure to check the bathroom for hidden cameras before you settle in.”

Angel smirked. “And if your new landlord asks if you’re allergic to anything, lie.”

“Gee, thanks for the support.”

They zipped up their bag, they felt the tiniest bit of apprehension creep in. Something about this felt too easy. Too convenient.

But then again, their life had never been easy or convenient, so maybe they were just due for a win.

Or, you know, an absolute disaster.

Either way, it was too late to back out now.

Misaki just grinned. “You say that like I don’t already regret every decision I’ve ever made.”

Angel smacked the back of their head. “That is NOT how that works.”

“Whatever, I’m taking the deal.” Misaki pumped their fists in the air. “I HAVE A HOME! SUCK IT, CAPITALISM!”

Ronin, Angel, and V just stared at them.

V sighed. “You’re gonna die.”

“Probably,” Misaki admitted. “But at least I’ll die with cheap rent.”

With an exaggerated sigh, Misaki closed their laptop and started packing their things—which wasn’t much. A duffel bag of clothes, some weapons, a few stolen snacks (for the road), and a single, slightly worn-out plushie that they definitely didn’t sleep with every night.

Misaki strutted through the dimly lit streets of Japan like an absolute chad. Sure, the economy was in the gutter, they were drowning in debt, and they were about to move into a suspiciously cheap apartment that might very well be a front for organ trafficking, but hey—positivity!

"It's fine. Everything's fine," they muttered to themselves, adjusting their duffel bag. "You just gotta impress the housemate, win their heart, and boom—temporary stability. Easy."

They clenched their fist in determination. This was just another mission. Instead of taking someone out, they were trying to not get kicked out. Same skill set, really.

After a long walk filled with self-pep talks and avoiding eye contact with salarymen crying into their vending machine coffee, Misaki finally arrived at the address.

The house looked… normal. Suspiciously normal. The kind of normal that felt wrong in their chaotic existence.

Taking a deep breath, Misaki knocked on the door. No answer. They rang the doorbell. Still nothing.

Then they noticed the door was slightly open.

"Oh, yeah, no red flags here at all," they muttered sarcastically before pushing it open.

"Uh, hello?" Misaki called out, stepping inside.

And that’s when they saw you.

Standing there in the dim light, you looked like a husk of a human being. Your overgrown bangs drooped over your face in a messy, unintentional crossover pattern, like they were actively trying to hide the shame of existence. There was a slight, tragic wave to them—like your hair had once had hope but had long since given up.

Your grey-teal, slightly droopy straight eyes had the kind of dark circles that could only be achieved through years of sleep deprivation, existential dread, and an overwhelming hatred for your job. You were in office wear—a dull, slightly wrinkled suit, tie barely hanging on like your will to live.

Misaki immediately clocked you as a salesperson.

And, oh boy, you looked hideous.

Not in a way that was physically repulsive, but in a way that screamed "I have seen things. I have suffered. And I will suffer again tomorrow from 9 to 5."

Your posture was the physical embodiment of why am I here?, and the way your dead-fish eyes met Misaki’s? Pure, undiluted regret.

There was a long, painful silence.

Misaki blinked.

You blinked.

Misaki cleared their throat. "Sooo… you're the landlord?"

You exhaled through your nose. "I wish I wasn’t."

"Uh-huh." Misaki glanced around. "Cool, cool. Great energy in here."

You gestured vaguely behind you. "Rooms that way. Rent’s due whenever. Don’t break anything. Don’t wake me up. If you summon a demon, tell it to kill me first."

Misaki nodded slowly. "...Love the enthusiasm."

Misaki had a problem.

Not just the broke assassin in crippling debt problem. Not just the this house is suspiciously cheap and my landlord looks like a walking depression commercial problem. No.

They had a problem in a new environment problem.

Which meant they were everywhere in the house within the first five minutes.

First, they tried to unpack, but then they got distracted by a weird stain on the wall that looked like blood (was it blood?), then they decided to check the kitchen because snacks, but then they opened a drawer and immediately forgot why they were even there. Then they somehow ended up in the hallway, staring at a random light switch, flicking it on and off just to see what it did.

Then—CRASH.

A shelf. A whole goddamn shelf. How? How?! It wasn’t even their shelf!

They just stood there, frozen, processing the fact that in five minutes, they had somehow committed their first property damage offense in the new house.

That’s when you walked in.

Dead-eyed. Drained. Like a husk of a man who had just worked a 16-hour shift selling printer ink to people who wanted to die just as much as you did. Your tie was loose like you had considered strangling yourself with it earlier but then sighed and went, not today, maybe tomorrow. Your bangs were a mess—probably hadn’t seen scissors in over a year. Your dark circles were so deep they looked like they were sponsored by a horror movie franchise.

You saw the shelf. You saw Misaki. You sighed. Deeply.

Then, in the most exhausted voice known to humankind, you muttered, "It's fine."

Misaki squinted. "…Wait, seriously?"

You blinked slowly, rubbing your eyes as if you had aged 40 years in the past 40 seconds. "Yeah. Whatever. I'll fix it later. It's fine."

That was when Misaki realized something horrifying.

You were so goddamn tired that you had transcended anger. You had seen so much bullshit in your life that a random destroying your furniture on day one didn’t even faze you.

They felt guilty. Misaki never felt guilty. They were a menace by nature. But you… You looked so damn miserable that it physically hurt them.

They tried to lighten the mood. “Uh, sorry about the—uh, shelf thing. But! Hey! At least I didn't burn the house down?”

You stared at them. Just stared.

They shifted awkwardly. “I mean, technically, I could have! That’s improvement, right?”

Silence.

Then you muttered, "Hello, Misaki."

Misaki blinked. “Oh, uh, actually, my name’s not Misaki, it’s—”

They paused, realizing their mistake.

Then, dramatically, throwing their arms out, they corrected themselves.

"MISAKI!"

There was a long pause. You just stared. The kind of stare that screamed ‘I am too tired for this but I will endure.’

Misaki waited for you to react. Maybe a sigh? A head shake? A single sign of life?

But you just closed your eyes for a moment, like you were mentally preparing yourself to deal with them for the foreseeable future.

And when you reopened them, you still looked exhausted. Still looked like you hated your job, your life, everything.

And Misaki—chaotic, impulsive, disaster of a person—felt something they rarely ever felt.

Pity.

You rubbed your temples, trying to fight off the migraine that had been steadily building for the last—what, three years? Maybe longer? Time was a blur when you lived in a constant state of exhaustion.

Misaki had already caused minor property damage. You should care. You should be concerned. But instead, you were just so damn tired.

With a sigh, you trudged over to the small, cluttered table in the living room, grabbed a stack of papers, and slapped them down in front of them. "Contract’s here. If you like the place, sign it. If not, you can leave and go back to… whatever questionable living situation you came from."

Misaki blinked. “That’s it? No interrogation? No ‘I need your government ID’ or ‘sign away your soul’ clause?”

You sighed again. Deeply. “Rent is 1,000 yen. I don’t care when you pay it. Just… get it to me eventually.”

They stared at you. Hard.

You could tell they were waiting for you to drop some sort of catch, some hidden clause that would reveal this was actually a scam or a murder plot. But there was nothing. Just you, standing there in your wrinkled office wear, looking like you’d rather be anywhere else.

They slowly pointed at you. “Why… aren’t you asking any additional details? Like my job? Or my background?”

You shrugged. “I don’t care.”

That seemed to stun them. They just stood there, processing the sheer lack of effort you were putting into this situation.

You checked the time on your watch. Your shift started in ten minutes. You were already late. Your boss was probably foaming at the mouth waiting to scream at you, but honestly? You had stopped caring about that job ages ago.

Still, you needed it to pay for this miserable excuse of an apartment.

You ran a hand down your face and muttered to yourself, "God, I need a new job."

Misaki tilted their head. “You work sales, right?”

You scoffed. Bitterly. “If you can even call it that.”

Your voice turned dull and lifeless as you mocked yourself. “Hello, sir, would you be interested in our limited-time printer ink bundle? No? That’s okay, let me waste five more minutes of your time explaining a warranty that you’ll never use. Oh, you’re walking away? I see. I am but a worm beneath your shoe. I exist to suffer. Thank you for your time.”

Misaki blinked. Twice.

You exhaled sharply and rubbed your eyes. “I swear, if I stay here one more minute, I’m going to get fired.”

They stared at you. Hard.

Then, with zero hesitation, they said, "I wanna stay."

You blinked at them. “You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“You just got here.”

“Yep.”

“The shelf thing just happened.”

“Uh-huh.”

You exhaled through your nose. “You’re a very eager one, huh?”

Misaki shrugged. “Look, you’re tired, I’m tired, and this place is cheap. Seems like a win for both of us.”

You didn’t argue. You just reached for the contract, flipped it to the signature page, and handed them a pen. “Fine. Sign here.”

Misaki took the pen with an enthusiastic nod and scrawled their name in an exaggerated, dramatic fashion.

MISAKI 🐱

You stared at it.

They smiled.

It was a completely normal, cheerful smile.

Like nothing about this situation was weird.

Like they hadn’t just put a cat emoji in their official contract signature.

You dragged a hand down your face. "Why."

Misaki just grinned wider. "Why not?"

You sighed for what felt like the hundredth time today. “Welcome home, I guess.”

Maybe you’d regret this later.

Maybe you wouldn’t.

Either way, you had exactly five minutes to sprint to work before your boss started sending you death threats via email.

You grabbed your coat, already halfway out the door when you paused and looked back at Misaki. They were busy poking at the contract like it was a rare artifact instead of a legally binding document, probably still amused at the fact that they got away with signing it with a cat emoji.

With a sigh, you muttered, “Don’t open the door for strangers.”

Misaki scoffed. “I’m not a kid.”

You rubbed your temple. “I know. Just… saying. Sorry.”

That should have been the end of it. You should have walked out and gone to work, but something snapped inside you, and suddenly, words just started tumbling out of your exhausted soul like a faucet with a broken handle.

"Look, it's just... I've had the worst week. No, month. Maybe year. My job sucks, my boss looks like a diseased ferret in a cheap suit, I haven’t had a full night’s sleep since 2018, and now I’m standing here in my own apartment, warning a fully grown adult about basic safety like I’m some overworked single parent—"

Misaki blinked. Twice.

"—and I have to leave right now because if I don't show up at work, my paycheck will be so small I’ll have to start stealing sugar packets from cafes just to survive!"

They nodded slowly. “...That’s a lot, dude.”

“Yeah,” you exhaled, rubbing your eyes. “Anyway. I was gonna make dinner later. If you want, you can join me. Whatever I cook will probably be mediocre at best, but at least it won’t be cup noodles.”

Misaki’s eyes sparkled. SPARKLED. “I accept.”

"Cool," you mumbled, too drained to process their enthusiasm. You turned and left, already dreading the shift ahead of you.

Meanwhile...

The moment the door shut, Misaki EXPLODED.

"HAHAHAHA! I GOT A HOME!!"

They dramatically threw their arms up and immediately grabbed their PC, clutching it like it was their firstborn child. "YAY!"

Ronin, V, and Angel, who had been waiting for an update, got an earful as Misaki hopped onto a call.

“GUYS! I’M IN!”

Ronin snorted. "Took you long enough. So, what's the place like?"

"Honestly? Pretty normal. But my landlord—"

Angel cut in. "Wait. You met them?"

"Yeah?" Misaki flopped onto their new (and slightly squeaky) bed. "They look like they haven’t slept since the invention of capitalism. Like, imagine a guy who’s been dealing with too much bullshit, and you multiply that by, like, fifty. That’s them."

Ronin cackled. "Sounds like a great roommate dynamic. A sleep-deprived office worker and a contract assassin. Truly the dream team."

Misaki smirked. "I'm pretty sure I could break a plate in front of them and they’d just sigh and accept it as part of their fate."

V, who had been oddly silent until now, finally spoke.

"Misaki."

Misaki blinked. "Huh? What’s up? You almost never call me."

V didn’t respond immediately. There was a slight pause, as if they were carefully choosing their words. Then—

"If that person is dangerous, you can tell me."

Misaki’s teasing expression softened a little. V wasn’t usually the overprotective type, but when they were, it always hit different.

"Awh, V…" Misaki grinned, but this time, it was more genuine. “Don’t worry. If anything sketchy happens, you’ll be the first to know."

"...Good," V muttered

Misaki stared at the screen for a second before chuckling softly to themselves.

Yeah. Things might be weird.

But at least they weren’t alone.

Misaki sprawled across their new bed, lazily twirling a stray lock of hair as they grumbled into the call. “Man, my landlord is so boring.”

Ronin snorted. “Already talking shit? You literally just moved in.”

“No, like, seriously.” Misaki threw their legs up against the wall, staring at the ceiling. “There is nothing about them that makes them even remotely interesting. They’re not cute, not hot, not even a charming idiot. Just a sleep-deprived husk of a person. Like, imagine if a tax return became human.”

Angel wheezed. “Not a tax return.”

Misaki kept going. “Dude looks like they’ve been slowly decaying under fluorescent lighting for the past decade. You ever see someone who just radiates corporate misery? That’s them. Their entire personality is ‘I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate that I’m standing here breathing air right now.’”

V hummed. “...So, what you’re saying is, they’re not your type.”

"EXACTLY." Misaki pointed at their screen like V could actually see them. "I’m telling you, there is a 0% chance of me falling for them. Zero. Absolutely no potential for romance. If my life was a dating sim, this person wouldn't even be a side character. They’d be like... the NPC running a convenience store who has one line of dialogue.”

Ronin was dying. “Bro. You moved in like two hours ago. How are you this sure?”

Misaki scoffed. "Because! No charm. No personality. No tragic backstory with just the right amount of angst to make them attractive. Not even a hint of adorable dumbass energy. My standards are on the floor, and somehow, they still didn’t pass."

Angel whistled. "Damn. So what are they?"

"A blank slate," Misaki declared. "Like, just a person. An overworked, underpaid, ‘I’m too tired to care’ person. They didn’t even care about my background. Just said, 'Sign here' and 'Don't open the door for strangers.' Like, where’s the spice? The mystery? The suspiciously convenient tragic past?”

V sighed. “You’re disappointed your landlord isn’t a walking red flag, aren’t you?”

Misaki gasped. “How dare you.”

“So that’s a yes.”

“I don’t want them to be a red flag!” Misaki flopped onto their stomach. “I just expected something. But no. Just a corporate zombie with an office job and the social energy of a potato.”

Ronin smirked. "Sounds like you feel bad for them."

Misaki scoffed. "I don’t—"

Angel cut in. "Oh, you totally do."

V chuckled. "Misaki’s about to adopt this poor soul."

"I AM NOT—” Misaki groaned, rolling onto their back dramatically. “Okay. Fine. Maybe I feel a little bad. Like. Bro looks so exhausted. Their eyes have dark circles so bad it looks like they’re wearing eyeliner—but not in the hot way. In the ‘I have never known rest’ way.”

Ronin cackled. "So what I’m hearing is, you’re gonna start feeding them proper meals and fixing their life."

Misaki scoffed. "I am not—”

Angel interrupted. "Misaki. You literally just agreed to have dinner with them."

Misaki paused.

"......okay but that's different!"

"Is it?"

"YES. I mean, come on, they look like they live off black coffee and regret. They need help."

V sighed, amused. "So you are gonna try and fix their life."

Misaki grumbled. "Shut up."

Ronin grinned. "You're so falling for them."

"AM NOT."

"You so are."

Misaki groaned loudly, smacking a pillow over their face. "WHYYYY."

Angel laughed. "Face it, dude. You already care."

"I DO NOT—"

"Yes, you do."

"I AM NOT—"

"Yes, you do."

Misaki groaned louder, kicking their legs. "UGHHHHHHHHHH."

V just chuckled. "You can keep lying to yourself. But we’ll be here when you eventually eat your words."

Misaki dramatically pointed at their screen. "MARK MY WORDS. I will not fall for this person."

Ronin smirked. "Yeah, yeah. Sure."

Angel hummed. "We’ll check back in a month."

V sighed. "A week."

Misaki groggily cracked one eye open, blinking at the dim light seeping through their window. Something felt off. Their brain, still half-asleep, took a few seconds to piece it together.

The clock.

They shot up. 9PM.

“OH SHIT.”

They scrambled out of bed, nearly face-planting as they tripped over their own bag. "I SLEPT SO LONG—WHY DID NO ONE WAKE ME UP?!" Their first day here and they already looked like some lazy freeloader. The impressions? SO BAD.

And worse—FREE FOOD.

They were supposed to eat with their landlord. That was the deal. The agreement. And now? They were about to walk in like some sleep-deprived goblin asking for scraps. No, no, no, I need to salvage this—

Still in their slightly rumpled clothes, they rushed out into the hallway—only to pause.

Why was it so dark?

Like, yeah, okay, it was night. But this wasn’t just regular night darkness. This was horror movie darkness. The kind where someone would definitely get jump-scared if this were a film.

"...Maybe they thought I was still sleeping and didn’t want to disturb me?" they mumbled to themselves, rubbing their arms.

Still, that meant their landlord was up. And they were probably in the kitchen.

Misaki crept forward, heart pounding from both oversleep anxiety and the eerie vibe of the house. They reached the kitchen door and, taking a deep breath, swung it open.

And immediately wished they hadn’t.

Because there, standing at the counter, was their landlord.

Covered in blood.

Chopping human hands.

"...What."

The sound of a knife steadily hitting the wooden cutting board was the only thing filling the silence. The metallic scent in the air? That was not normal food.

Misaki, frozen, stared at the scene before them. The dim kitchen light flickered just enough to make it worse. Their landlord, sleeves rolled up, hands stained red, expression completely blank.

Their mouth moved before their brain could stop it.

“...Uh. H-Halloween props?”

Their landlord didn’t even blink. Their voice was dry. Flat. “It’s human meat.”

Misaki gawked. Then screeched, “YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO AGREE WITH ME!”

Their landlord just went back to chopping. “You asked. I answered.”

"LIE TO ME, DAMN IT."

The chopping continued. Misaki, still standing in the doorway like a dumbass, did their best not to freak the hell out.

Okay. Okay. There were two options here.

Run.

Pretend this isn’t happening and get some free food.

...Misaki was so hungry.

But also. THIS WAS REALLY BAD.

They swallowed thickly. "O-Okay. Haha. Funny prank. Y-You got me. W-Wait—wait, actually, this is a prank, right? Like, like, come on. Haha, Misaki’s an idiot, they fell for it, right? Hahahaha—"

Their landlord finally looked up, blinking at them.

"...You missed dinner."

Misaki blinked back. THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER.

They forced a stiff smile. "Haha. Yeah. Super sorry about that. But, uh, back to the insanely concerning thing you’re doing—"

Their landlord sighed, sounding just...so unbelievably tired. "Do you want food or not?"

Misaki’s stomach betrayed them instantly.

A loud, miserable growl echoed through the kitchen.

Silence.

Misaki wanted to die.

Their landlord just went back to chopping. “Sit down.”

Misaki’s legs moved before their survival instincts could stop them. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THEM.

They plopped into a chair at the kitchen table, brain screaming at them the whole time. This is bad, this is bad, this is—

A plate was placed in front of them. A steaming dish of...something.

Misaki stared at it.

Their landlord sat across from them. Staring. Expression unreadable.

Misaki picked up their chopsticks very slowly.

"...So. Haha. Just to clarify. What...exactly...is in this?"

Their landlord took a sip of their tea. "Food."

"...But, like. What food?"

A long pause. Too long.

"...Meat."

"What kind of meat?"

Another pause.

Misaki squinted.

Their landlord sighed. "Not human."

Misaki exhaled so hard they nearly passed out. "THANK YOU." They hesitantly took a bite, still on edge but way too hungry to care anymore.

"...It’s good," they mumbled through their mouthful.

Their landlord shrugged. "I know."

Silence settled between them as they ate.

Eventually, Misaki, unable to let it go, squinted again. "So, like. If I didn’t walk in on you just now, were you gonna tell me about the whole...human hands thing?"

Their landlord sighed like they had the worst headache. "...I was going to clean up before you woke up."

"*Oh, so you had a PLAN.**"

"Yes. Until you ruined it."

"SORRY FOR WAKING UP AND CATCHING YOU WITH BODY PARTS."

"Noted."

You let out a tired sigh, rubbing the back of your neck as you casually wiped the blood off the knife. “It’s nothing. Just some weird-looking shit.”

Your eyebags were doing all the talking for you. They were deep, dark, and probably had their own tragic backstory at this point. Combined with the blank, sleep-deprived expression on your face, you looked exactly like the type of person who’d chase someone down a dark alley with a kitchen knife—except you were too tired to actually run, so you’d probably just slowly walk after them like some unstoppable horror villain.

You smiled.

And not a comforting smile.

A dead inside but definitely hiding something smile.

Misaki, for some reason, just sat there, staring at you like they were contemplating something deep. You waited. And then, out of nowhere—

“…NGL, you do look kinda hot with eyebags.”

You blinked. “What?”

Misaki immediately sat up straight. “NOTHING.”

Your exhausted brain short-circuited for a moment. You knew you looked terrifying. This was not a “hot person” moment. You were literally covered in blood, and they had the audacity to say that?

You squinted at them. “Are you flirting with me while I’m holding a knife?”

Misaki, shoving more food into their mouth to escape the situation, spoke through their chewing. “Hahhaha what nooooo you misheard me anyway sooo you’re a serial killer?”

You sighed, pushing the knife aside. “No.”

“…A cannibal?”

“No.”

“Serial killer?”

“No.”

“Cannibal?”

“No.”

“…Serial killer cannibal?”

You stared at them, absolutely deadpan.

“Cannibal serial?”

The stare continued.

“…Cereal?”

You rested your chin in your hand, blinking at them very slowly, like a tired cat contemplating murder.

“If you’re thinking about calling the police,” you finally said, voice dry and smug, “just know you can’t.”

Misaki raised a brow. “And why is that?”

You gave them a look, gesturing vaguely at their whole situation. “You see, Mx. Misaki—” (you dragged out their name for extra dramatic effect) “—you are completely fine.”

Misaki paused, chopsticks halfway to their mouth. “I feel like I should disagree with that.”

You shrugged, leaning back in your chair with the most exhausted but smug expression ever. “No, you won’t. If you were that desperate for a place to stay, why would you start questioning things now?”

Silence.

Misaki hated that you had a point.

You let your head tilt to the side slightly, your tired smile stretching just a bit. Your overgrown bangs crossed over your face, casting shadows over your already dark-circled eyes. You looked crazy. Like, the kind of crazy that wasn’t even trying to be threatening—it was just naturally unsettling.

And yet, somehow, it worked.

Misaki sat there, staring at you like they were trying to process several emotions at once.

They squinted. Then they sighed. “God. Damn it.”

You arched a brow. “Problem?”

Misaki rubbed their temples. “No, it’s fine, I just… really, really hate that you’re kinda right.”

You chuckled, pushing their contract across the table. “Good. Now, are you actually gonna sign, or do I have to sit here and look at you until you cave?”

Misaki snatched the pen. “You’re terrifying.”

“You’re still here.”

“Shut up.”

They quickly scribbled their name on the contract. And, in a moment of true genius, wrote Misaki—except they added a little meow at the end.

You squinted at it.

You stretched your arms over your head, your bones cracking like a horror movie sound effect. “Alright, you can sleep now. Unless…” You tilted your head, that same eerie, exhausted smile tugging at your lips. “You wanna watch me cut?”

Misaki immediately recoiled. “No!? Nah, ewww, bro. The hell!?”

You chuckled, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion. “It’s okay. Just know this, Misaki…” You let your smile linger as you picked up the knife again, voice dropping to something too casual for the situation. “…I know where your room is.”

Misaki stared at you. Then, very slowly, nodded. “Yes. Because… we live in the same apartment.”

“Exactly.” You grinned, tapping the blade against the cutting board. “Just making sure you remember.”

There was a pause before Misaki narrowed their eyes. “…Are you actually gonna eat it?”

“Yes.” You said it so matter-of-factly, like it was just a regular grocery store steak.

Misaki gagged. “BRO.”

“Waste of meat otherwise,” you replied, moving the chopped… pieces into a storage container like this was just your regular meal prep. “I’ll store it.”

Misaki looked so deeply disturbed. “You look like a whole-ass horror movie antagonist right now.”

“Yes,” you said, unbothered, still focused on your work. “I am a mess. Last time, the dry cleaners didn’t believe it was just suit paint. Had to be real careful.”

Misaki rubbed their face. “Jesus. The fact that I don’t even know if you’re joking or not is crazy.”

You glanced up from your task, eyes dark and unreadable. “Don’t try anything stupid, Misaki.”

They stiffened slightly. “Uh. Yeah. Of course not.” They pointed a thumb toward the hallway. “I’m just… gonna go this way…”

You gave a slow nod. “And I’m gonna stay here…” You trailed off, staring blankly at the cutting board.

Misaki hesitated. “And… do what you do…”

You smiled again, soft and exhausted. “Good night, Misaki.”

They stood there for another second, just long enough to question every single life choice that led them to this moment. Then, very quickly, they left.

Because if they stayed in that kitchen any longer, they were pretty sure they were going to start questioning their sanity.

Misaki slammed their door shut so hard the walls rattled. They didn’t care. Their heart was pounding in their chest, adrenaline coursing through their veins. They pressed their back against the door, locking it in one swift motion before triple-checking that it was actually locked.

They had just walked in on their new landlord butchering human hands.

HUMAN. HANDS.

They squeezed their eyes shut and took a deep breath.

Okay.

This was fine.

This was so fine that their fingers trembled as they fumbled with their phone, opening the group chat and pressing the call button for the three people they trusted most in this world.

📞 Calling: Ronin, Angel, V.

Each ring made their pulse spike. Misaki was practically vibrating with panic by the time someone finally picked up.

“Who died?” V’s voice came through first—sharp, unimpressed, and already so incredibly done.

“I DID.” Misaki whisper-screamed, throwing themselves onto their bed and clutching the phone like a lifeline. “I JUST FOUND OUT MY LANDLORD IS A SERIAL KILLER—ACTUALLY, NO—A SERIAL CANNIBAL.”

Silence.

It stretched on for a few painful seconds before Ronin, always the worst possible person in situations like these, finally spoke up:

“That’s so f*cking cool.”

“SHUT UP, GOREBIY.” V immediately snapped. “MISAKI, GET OUT. NOW.”

Angel, normally chaotic, actually sounded concerned. “Wait, wait, wait, explain. Are they, like… bad bad? Or just… you know… manageable?”

“OKAY,” Misaki took a deep, shaky breath. “So, I woke up, right? And I go to the kitchen—AND THEY’RE JUST CHOPPING UP HUMAN HANDS.”

Ronin whistled. “Damn. Whole hands? That’s commitment.”

V exhaled sharply, like they were personally suffering. “MISAKI.”

Angel hummed. “…Maybe they just like fresh ingredients.”

Misaki squinted. “Angel.”

Angel cleared their throat. “I—I mean—that’s weird! Super weird! Ha ha! Who would do that?! Not me.”

“You absolutely would, and you’re in denial.” Misaki deadpanned before continuing. “ANYWAY, I was like, ‘bro, is this some kind of Halloween prop or something?’ AND THEY JUST—THEY JUST DRYLY WENT, ‘IT’S HUMAN MEAT.’”

V: “LEAVE. GET OUT. CALL THE COPS.”

Ronin: “WHY WOULD YOU CALL THE COPS? THIS IS FREE CONTENT.”

V: “I SWEAR TO GOD, RONIN.”

Misaki flopped onto their back, exasperated. “NO, Y’ALL, LOOK. They seem chill. I don’t think they’re gonna eat me. I’m just saying—THEY’RE A SERIAL KILLER, LIKE US.”

Silence.

A heavy, judgmental silence.

V: “…That does not make it better.”

Angel: “That kinda makes it better.”

Ronin: “That definitely makes it better.”

V: “I NEED NEW FRIENDS.”

Misaki sat up, grinning. “Look, I swear, I think they’re cool. A little dead inside. A little tired of life. A little unhinged. But, like, in a fun way.”

“…Misaki.” Angel sighed. “Tell me the truth.”

“Yeah?”

Angel sounded incredibly unimpressed. “Did you think they looked hot?”

Silence.

A very dangerous silence.

Then, Ronin burst into laughter.

“OH MY GOD.”

V groaned like they were physically in pain.

Angel sighed, exasperated. “You’re so hopeless.”

“I—” Misaki felt personally attacked. “OKAY, LISTEN, IN MY DEFENSE—THEY HAD A PINK APRON ON.”

V: “WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!??”

Ronin: “NO, WAIT, I SEE THE VISION.”

Angel: “Honestly, I kinda get it.”

V: “STOP AGREEING WITH THIS.”

Misaki pointed at nothing. “They looked extremely messy and hot. Like, imagine eyebags so bad it looks like they’ve been awake for years. They had the tired, dead-inside psycho look but with, like, a pink ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron.”

“…Oh my God.” V sounded like he were suffering.

Angel sighed. “Fine. I won’t tell you to run. But. If they start getting weird with you—”

“WEIRDER.” V corrected.

“—you call us immediately, alright?”

Misaki saluted. “Aye aye, captain.”

V groaned louder. “I’m going to find you a new place. Don’t die before then.”

“No promises.” Misaki grinned.

And with that, they hung up, absolutely pleased with themselves.

Because, let’s be honest.

This was gonna be fun.

For the first few days, things were… weirdly normal.

Sure, their landlord was a serial killer and a cannibal, but Misaki had seen worse. They were alive, weren’t they? Not chopped up in the fridge? Not marinated in some mystery sauce? That was a win.

Besides, they had their own room, cheap rent, and, most importantly—free shit.

Like, actual free shit.

Their landlord didn’t just let them stay, they gave them access to everything.

Netflix? Free. Wi-Fi? Free. Streaming services? Free. Some random subscription to an online manga site? Also free.

All just handed over.

Misaki had barely even asked. One offhand comment about boredom, and boom.

"Oh. Here. Just use mine."

BRO.

They were living the life.

Their job wasn’t too bad, either. As long as they kept doing their work remotely, no one cared. Meanwhile, their landlord was busy being a corporate slave—dragging themselves to their soul-sucking job every single morning and coming back more and more dead inside.

But hey. That was their problem.

Misaki? Misaki was thriving.

At least… until today.

Misaki woke up to a noise.

It wasn’t an alarming noise, per se, but it was… consistent. A weird, low dragging sound.

Their brain, still foggy with sleep, immediately jumped to the worst conclusion.

Oh no. They’re dragging a corpse again, aren’t they?

Great. Fantastic. How wonderful.

They rolled over, pulling the blanket over their head. Maybe if they ignored it, they could go back to sleep.

...But the sound didn't stop.

If anything, it started sounding worse.

Like something falling.

Something heavy.

That... didn’t sound like a body.

Curious—and slightly concerned—Misaki sighed, pushing themselves up. They dragged their feet as they left their room, rubbing their eyes. The hallway was dark as hell, but they could vaguely make out the shape of their landlord collapsed on the floor.

...What.

What.

Panic immediately shot through their body.

"OH, SHIT."

They rushed forward, kneeling beside them. "HEY, HEY, WAKE UP—WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?"

Their landlord groaned, eyes fluttering open. They looked **even worse than usual—**which was impressive, considering they always looked like they’d been awake for seventy-two hours straight.

Misaki frowned. “Dude, what the hell? You okay?”

Their landlord sighed.

Then, in a deep, tired, deadpan voice, they muttered:

"I hate my job."

…

Misaki blinked.

"Bro, you just fainted. Are you dying?"

"No. I just hate my job."

"Okay, but like. Why."

Their landlord slowly sat up, rubbing their face. "Because it's hell."

"That’s not a reason."

They groaned, dragging a hand down their face. "I deal with the dumbest people imaginable. Every day. Just absolute idiots. My boss is a parasite. My coworkers are stupid. And my clients? Even worse."

Misaki hummed. “Sounds like hell, alright.”

Their landlord exhaled sharply. “I swear, I would rather be—” They suddenly froze, seeming to remember who they were talking to.

A fellow criminal.

A fellow killer.

Someone who would absolutely call them out.

They cleared their throat. “Uh. Metaphorically.”

Misaki snorted. “Sure, sure. Totally not suspicious.”

Their landlord just groaned.

They looked so done with life. So exhausted. So miserable.

And—ugh. Misaki was starting to feel bad.

Like, yeah, their landlord was a murderous cannibal, but they are nice!

Misaki sighed as they trudged toward the kitchen, rubbing their face. The day had already been too much, and now they had to figure out what to cook for you, of all people.

You, the psychotic, dead-eyed, possibly-a-murderer-but-still-weirdly-chill roommate.

Still, they did feel kinda bad for you. Not bad enough to ignore the human meat in the fridge, but bad enough to cook something edible.

They pushed the kitchen door open—

Only to suddenly get shoved against the table.

Their back hit the surface with a dull thud, and before they could even process what happened, there you were.

Standing over them.

Looking at them.

STUDYING them.

Like a damn predator.

Misaki’s heart jumped. Their entire body locked up, every survival instinct they had screaming at them to run.

And then—

Then, their eyes drifted down.

And they saw the shirt you were wearing.

They blinked.

Once.

Twice.

HUMAN BY CHANCE, ALPHA BY CHOICE.

They just stared.

Dead.

Silent.

As if their soul had physically left their body.

Three full seconds passed before they finally spoke.

“…You cannot be serious.”

You tilted your head. “What?”

Misaki slowly lifted a hand and pointed. “THAT. WHAT YOU’RE WEARING.”

You glanced down at the godforsaken t-shirt, completely unbothered. “Oh. It was on sale.”

“OF COURSE IT WAS.”

“I think it’s funny.”

“IT’S NOT.”

You ignored their entire reaction. Instead, you just stared at them again.

And then you spoke.

“You look really delicious right now.”

Misaki blinked.

They froze.

Their brain completely short-circuited.

“…Th-thanks? I try?” They ran a hand through their hair, suddenly hyper-aware of their own appearance. “I mean, I thought I was average-looking, but—”

Wait.

WAIT.

HOLD ON.

Their brain finally caught up with the situation.

Misaki jerked back in horror.

“BRO. I’M NOT FOOD. GET THE HELL OUT.”

You snorted. “Relax. I promised I wouldn’t eat you.”

Misaki squinted. “That doesn’t make this less creepy.”

“I just wanted to take a look at you.”

“FOR WHAT?!”

You shrugged. Your eyes scanned them, like you were inspecting something. Calculating.

Then, suddenly—

“What’s with the gun?”

Misaki stiffened.

They immediately reached for their holster, confirming their weapon was still there. “...What?”

“You’re armed,” you said simply. “Why?”

Misaki scowled. “Uh, duh, I’m not stupid? I just moved in with a cannibal. You think I wouldn’t bring a gun?”

You blinked. Then, without hesitation—

“What kind of a killer are you?”

“EXCUSE ME?”

You gestured vaguely. “You’re clearly trained. What’s your thing?”

Misaki’s eye twitched.

“…I’m an assassin.”

You stared.

“…Oh.”

Silence.

More silence.

Then—

“So you’re bad too.”

Misaki threw their hands up. “OH, AND YOU’RE SO SAINTLY?”

“No, I’m just saying. You kill people too.”

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE’RE THE SAME.”

You tilted your head, watching them. “Why do you do it?”

Misaki exhaled sharply. “Because I’m broke.”

“...That’s it?”

“I have debts.” They crossed their arms. “Paying for my parents.”

You froze.

The air shifted.

For the first time, you didn’t have anything to say.

Misaki narrowed their eyes. “What? Surprised?”

“…No.” Your voice was quieter now.

Misaki was still standing in the kitchen, arms crossed, replaying the last five minutes of their life in their head like a buffering video.

What the hell just happened?

They had been ready to make you food because, surprise surprise, even unhinged serial killer cannibals needed to eat actual meals sometimes. Then, suddenly, BAM. They got slammed against the table, stared at like a premium cut of wagyu steak, and then hit with the existential crisis of realizing their creepy, horrifying, serial-killer housemate might not be as emotionless and dead inside as they originally thought.

And now? Now, they were standing there, hands in their pockets, watching as you wandered back into the kitchen like nothing happened.

Like you hadn’t just acted like some kind of deranged, sleep-deprived maniac in a cursed T-shirt.

You looked at them, tilting your head slightly, before rubbing the back of your neck.

“...Maybe I’ve fallen for you.”

Misaki choked on their own spit.

“I’M SORRY, WHAT—”

You sighed like this was some grand, tragic confession instead of the most batshit insane thing you could possibly say at this moment.

“I usually eat my housemates,” you said casually.

“EXCUSE ME?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Two so far. Both gone in a day.”

Misaki took a full step back. “What the actual—”

“But you feel different,” you continued, like you hadn’t just admitted to literal cannibalistic homicide. “I don’t want to eat you.”

“Oh, WHAT A RELIEF.”

“You make me feel… energized.” You stared at them, brows furrowed slightly, like you were still trying to figure it out yourself.

Misaki swallowed, every muscle in their body tense. Should they be running? Because they should probably be running.

And then—

“So, do you want to eat together?”

Misaki blinked.

“Do I want to—HELL NO.”

You shrugged, completely unfazed. “Okay.”

Silence.

Then you tilted your head, as if a new idea suddenly popped into your deranged little mind.

“Do you want to be lovers?”

Misaki’s brain blue-screened.

“WHAT.”

You nodded, still way too casual about this whole thing. “Lovers. Dating. Romance. That stuff.”

Misaki stared at you.

Long.

Hard.

As if staring at you long enough would force you to make sense.

It did not.

“What the actual hell are you talking about.”

“I’m saying we should date,” you said, blinking at them like they were the weird one here.

Misaki took another step back. “WE HAVEN’T EVEN BONDED.”

“Okay,” you said with a slow nod, like you were completely open to negotiation.

“Okay?”

“Do you want to marry me instead?”

“WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. HELL.”

You just blinked at them again, waiting for a response like this was some totally normal topic of conversation.

Misaki dragged a hand down their face. “Dude. We haven’t even—WHY is that the next logical step?!”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. But I am falling for you.”

“OH MY GOD.”

Silence.

More silence.

And then, as if suddenly struck with divine inspiration, Misaki sighed deeply and crossed their arms. “Fine.”

You tilted your head.

Misaki smirked. “I’ll give you a challenge.”

You raised a brow. “A challenge?”

“Yeah,” they said, grinning. “February. It’s the month of love, right?”

You just nodded.

Misaki leaned in, poking your forehead lightly. “You wanna win my heart? You got one month to make me like you back.”

You stared at them, processing.

Misaki’s smirk grew. “And if I do like you by the end of February, then maaaybe we’ll talk about this ‘lovers’ thing.”

You were quiet for a long moment.

Then, with that same exhausted, dead-eyed expression, you nodded.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

You nodded again. “Yeah. Also, you don’t have to pay rent for February.”

Misaki paused.

“...Wait. Hold up. What?”

“No rent,” you repeated. “February’s free.”

Their eyes narrowed. “Are you… bribing me?”

“Yes.”

Misaki grinned. 'Okay!'

IT'S NOT OKAY

Misaki collapsed onto their bed like a ragdoll, face buried in their pillow as their entire soul reeled from the conversation they just had.

What the hell was happening.

They had moved in less than a week ago. Found out their landlord was a literal serial killer/cannibal. Somehow weren’t dead yet. And now?? Now their psychotic, sleep-deprived, blood-covered housemate was falling for them??

What kind of romantic horror-comedy bullshit was this??

And worse, WHY was the rent-free month kinda tempting?!

Misaki groaned into their pillow before rolling over and grabbing their phone. They needed backup. NOW.

They dialed The Chaos Hotline.

Aka: Angel, Ronin, and V.

Within seconds, V picked up.

“Misaki,” V said immediately, tone suspicious. “You never call. What happened.”

Ronin’s voice piped in from the background. “Oh, oh, is this about the cannibal landlord? Are they hot?”

Misaki sat up. “WHY is that your first question?!”

“Because it’s important.”

Angel sighed. “Misaki, please tell me you didn’t get into a hostage situation again.”

“No! I mean—maybe?! I don’t know!” Misaki ran a hand through their hair. “Okay, LISTEN. They—they confessed to me.”

Silence.

Then—

“What?” V sounded like Misaki just committed a war crime.

“LMAO” – Ronin.

“Holy shit.” – Angel.

Misaki flopped back on the bed. “I don’t know how it happened!! One second they were staring at me like a five-star wagyu steak, and the next they were like, ‘I think I’m falling for you.’”

Angel gasped. “You made the serial killer catch feelings?”

Ronin wheezed. “BASED.”

V was not having it. “Misaki. Get. Out.”

“Dude, they said I don’t have to pay rent for February.”

“STAY.” – Ronin.

“OH MY GOD.” – V.

Angel hummed. “So… ”

Misaki clenched their fists. “STOP ASKING THAT.”

“Which means yes,” Angel said smugly.

“I—LOOK. I MAY HAVE SLIPPED AND CALLED THEM HOT, OKAY?!”

More silence.

Then:

Ronin. Wheezing. “You—YOU LIKE THEM TOO, DON’T YOU?!”

Misaki exploded. “I DO NOT LIKE THEM BACK. I JUST THINK THEY LOOK KINDA HOT COVERED IN BLOOD. IT’S AESTHETICALLY PLEASING, OKAY?!”

V. Exasperated. “MISAKI.”

“I’M NOT.”

“You’re literally getting romanced by a serial killer, and you’re already calling them hot when they’re covered in human remains.”

Misaki groaned. “This is not happening. This is a stress response.”

Ronin snorted. “Sure, buddy. Keep telling yourself that.”

V sounded done. “Okay, so what’s your plan? Because if they’re a serial killer, you probably shouldn’t lead them on.”

Misaki hesitated.

“…I may or may not have made a deal.”

Angel perked up. “Oh?”

Misaki winced. “I told them… that if they can make me fall for them by the end of February, then maybe we can talk about the ‘lovers’ thing.”

Silence.

Then:

Ronin. Losing their absolute shit. “MISAKI, WHAT THE HELL?!”

Angel cackling. “THIS IS A ROM-COM.”

V. “MISAKI, THAT’S NOT HOW YOU HANDLE A CANNIBAL KILLER.”

“I PANICKED, OKAY?!?!”

Ronin was dying. “You gave a cannibal a dating challenge?!”

“Yes??”

“Bro.”

Misaki groaned, covering their face. What the hell was their life.

Angel giggled. “So what’s their next move, you think? Romantic dinner date? Valentine’s Day surprise? Ooo, what if they give you a human heart in a box?!”

Misaki shuddered. “PLEASE don’t manifest that into the universe.”

V sighed. “You need to be careful, Misaki. If they actually get attached, that’s dangerous.”

Misaki huffed. “Relax. I got this. I’ll make sure they fall out of love before the month ends.”

Ronin snorted. “Or you’ll fall for them first.”

Misaki scowled. “No chance in hell.”

Angel smirked. “We’ll see.”

[6feathered6siren6]

A Killer on the loose

Dis(m)ember prompt: Death game

Note before reading: This was not proof read, and some character might be out of character, but I did still have fun while writing this(stayed up writing for this so things also might be weird), plus I didn't have a good title name.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Trigger warnings

Death/Killing

Characters being ooc

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Everyone stood in the room, unfortunately, one was already dead. A warning from the gods, taunting each one of them. Luca was near Feli’s body, looking distraught. Angel was looking at Feli's dead body with confusion, anger? It was hard to tell with your own tears. 

Misaki was holding your sleeve, you could feel them shake through their grip. Everyone was distraught except for Ronin. You looked up at the devil beanie holder. After knowing him for a long time, you could see that he was pissed in his eyes. 

You know that someone in this room killed the other. Other than Feli, there was Luca, V, Misaki, Ronin, Angel, then you. One of you killed her, you were locked in this building and only one was getting out. 

“Why, Feli? Who did this? Who killed her?!” Luca got up and with tears in his eyes, you knew he was gonna try and kill the killer. He walked up to Ronin, grabbing his leather jacket and pulling him closer. “Was it you?”

“Luca!” Angel called out, she walked over to him and put her hand on his arm. “Calm down! We can figure this out!” 

Luca looked at her before pushing Ronin away, he brushed his jacket off. “Jeez, guess lover boy here can kill on purpose.” Luca whipped his head around, about to throw down until V grabbed his arms. 

“Luca, stop. We need to figure this out together. Not against each other.” V was also distressed but he knew how to hold his emotions well. You could see how sad he was to see one of the people he cared about was dead. 

You looked back at Misaki, letting the four fight it out themselves. She was still stressed out, you took your arm to pull her close and rub her shoulder. “Hey, we’ll figure this out, promise.” They hesitated to nod her head, and her grip wasn’t any better, still shaking like her life dependent on it. 

Taking a few more glances of her then to the four again. It seems they have calmed down somewhat. Luca was no longer in V’s arms, Angel was next to Ronin, probably his buffer. 

You sighed as you pulled yourself and Misaki closer to the rest of the group. As you looked closer to the body, you could see her battered body from falling from the stairs. Someone pushed her down, you felt bad for her. She didn’t deserve this. Looking back at Luca, you grabbed his sleeve. He looked at you with his bloodshot eyes from crying. Pulling him into a small side hug, as your other side was occupied by Misaki.

“Alright,” V spoke up. “From here on, each one of us will group up. We have six(6) people here, so three pairs. I’ll go with Ronin, Misaki and Reader can go as they are holding Reader’s sleeve. And that leaves Angel and Luca. Anybody reject it?”

Everyone was quiet.

“Then it’s finalized. Ronin and I will find a way out from the left side of the building, and Angel and Luca, is it fine if you look at the right side?” V continued. He wanted to leave, but he also didn’t want to see anyone else dead.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Right, Luca?” Angel responded, she slightly nudged him, making him nod in response. You looked over at Misaki, they seemed better, still startled by seeing one of her friends dead.

“Reader and Misaki will look around near the center, see if there’s anything, if not, find another one of the pair.” V looked over at you and Misaki, he holds trust to you, there shouldn’t be a reason to not to. Right?

But you nod, you started to pull Misaki with you, away from the others, it seemed she spoke. “Sorry for… that reaction.” 

You look over to them. “It’s fine, Misaki, I mean, Feli died, one of our friends. You have a reason for that reaction. Everyone did.” She let go of your sleeve, giving a small, pitiful smile.

“Right.” As she said that one word. As both of you stood there, looking around. The lights went out, as you were about to say something to Misaki, you felt a grab on your shoulder, it wasn’t small like Misaki, but a bit larger, maybe V? Ronin? But they didn’t speak. Pulling you away from the location you were with Misaki. Wait, was Misaki with you?

As the person let you go in some random room, you heard the door lock. You are now stuck here. With no one. How are you getting into such dumb situations? Luckily, when trying to walk around the room and bumping into almost every item, there was a laundry shoot. And deciding to go into it, you fell into the basement into some basket. Getting out of it, you were now trapped in another blackened room. 

“Fuck me…” You grumbled, you are in another unfamiliar room. 

“Thanks for the invitation, but maybe another time, Darlin’. There’s still a killer on the loose.” You heard the familiar voice but started screaming loudly. A hand slipped over your mouth. “Shush. Damn, you gotta scream my ears off?” You could hear his smug smile through the darkness. 

You pull his hand away, “Ronin.” About to continue the sentence, you heard Angel scream. Both of you got worried and started running out of the basement. You found V and Luca in the living room on the right side of the building, then Angel running in. She was out of breath as the rest of you. 

“M- Misaki…” She gasped for air as her hand was over her mouth. She looked mortified. “Sh-she’s dead. I- I found their body in the st- study.” 

Ronin, almost immediately, grabbed her into a hug. Even though he might be an ass. Ronin would help Angel for anything. Both Luca and V walked into the study to see it. You decided to help Ronin to calm down Angel. 

Almost a few moments later, Luca walked in. “I… Shit… Feli.. now Misaki… Seriously, who is the killer?” He looked at the three in the room. “Because once I-”

“Luca, stop with the threats.” V walked back in. He looks at Angel and holds her shoulder for a moment. “Misaki… was bashed with what seemed like a lamp.” V immediately looked at Ronin. “That kind of seems to be your mo, Ronin.”

“Man, you must be shitting me, V. I was with you before the lights went down.” He crossed his arms at V. Angel was watching this fight, then looked at you.

“Reader was paired with Misaki, what about them?” Angel popped up. Then everyone looked at you. 

“I was with them, but when the lights went out. I pulled out of the room. They were alive when the lights went out!” You raised your hands to show surrendering. 

“Pulled out?” Angel replied back. You nod. “Why, and how?”

“I honestly don’t know, but whoever is killing, either made sure I left the room, or someone protected me, I don’t know.” You dropped your hands as you looked over to the two. “I know when I was put into another room, the door was locked.”

“Then how did you reach the basement?” Even Ronin is ganging up on you with Angel. 

“Laundry shoot.”

He stared you down for a bit then Luca joined in, “Basement? I thought you and V were together on the left side of this place?”

“We got separated when the lights turned off,” V was clearly thinking. “Reader was with Misaki until the lights turned off, then was dragged away. Me and Ronin were together until we got separated and the lights went off as well. Angel, Luca.” He looked up at both of them. Luca clearly still pissed off about Feli dying, while Angel was distraught. 

“We were together even when the lights got shut off. We actually stayed in one room throughout it.” Angel stepped closer to Luca. 

Everyone was quiet. There were only five(5) people left. 

“I still think it’s Ronin.” Luca piped up. “There was no way it wasn’t him. After Misaki’s….” He dragged off but everyone knew what he was meaning to say. 

“Are you serious, what about Mr. Saint here? V was also alone after it went dark.” 

V looked at Ronin after he said that. His attitude seemed to have changed. “Ronin, I was still near the room when the lights went out. Meanwhile, you were not. You were on a whole other floor, you still have yet to explain that.”

“It’s Ronin, how can it not? After all, Misaki’s head was bashed in with a lamp. There is no way, it’s not.” Luca started going off, Angel cut him off fortunately before he could continue.

“I agree. Ronin, this… murder… was kinda of your MO. There isn’t a way it’s not.” Angel spoke up, dropping her hand from Luca’s mouth. 

“Seriously, Angel, after everything we've been through.” You see his strained smile. He was trying. “Darlin’, you believe me, right?” 

You can see his smile drop when you walk closer to Angel, V, and Luca. “Sorry, but… it was suspicious how you were in the basement.”

Before Ronin spoke up, V got in front of you three. “A vote was counted. Ronin…”

“Sending me to hell? Right, V?” 

Unable to see this anymore, you walked out. You couldn’t see someone getting killed in front of you, and it seems Angel thought the same. Angel sighed.

“We can leave, right?” She looks at you with hope. You didn’t know the answer. Luca walked out, holding her shoulder. 

“Hopefully.” 

V walked out with his hands coated with red. Ronin’s gone. Now there’s four(4). But it wasn’t over yet. 

┈┈┈┈․° ☣ °․┈┈┈┈

There you were with V and Luca. Angel… was dead. She was in the indoor pool. Drowned. Either she was knocked out and pushed in… or someone was covering their tracks. 

After last night, you found out the door was still locked with the digital door screen saying, “Killer still on the loose. No one may leave yet.”

Angel had a breakdown last night, so V decided to stay with Angel to comfort her. She couldn’t handle thinking she accidentally killed her friend.

Luca looked at V with anger in his eyes, after everything, everything leads to him. He was with Angel, not being with his pair partner and leading to Misaki, and then Feli. Anger was an understatement for his feelings. Leading V to his demise. 

❈

“And with the vote, V was killed, leading Reader to win this round. Contrats, Reader.” Vince spoke out. Even clapping to your win. 

“What?!” Luca screamed out. “IT WAS THEM?! WHAT THE FUCK?!” 

Your stomach was hurting with how much you were laughing.

“I got to say, Darlin’. That was impressive.” 

Misaki groaned, “Can’t believe my chaos twin would kill me though, such a shame.”

“I did not think that playing doctor would betray me. Using it to your advantage. Impressive.”

“I still can’t believe you would kill me first, then using Luca’s emotions like that. Damn, glad we have you on our side.” 

“And using that V would be staying with me but protecting Luca in case of you killing him! That was smart!”

You were still proud, sure, it was such a death game against everyone in the server, especially since you weren’t a killer. But playing as a single mafia? You ruled. Sitting back into your chair as another round was starting, and this time you got the doctor. Time to save some people.

* ‧̍̊˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊ * ‧̍̊˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊

I will be posting this in ao3 and into the showcase when I get up. But honestly, I love 'it was all fake' tropes. Anyway, Ronin X overworked reader is winning in my poll, so I'm gonna finish that up when I wake up.

Words: 1,938

[koku-shibou]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool!!!) no pressure!!!! ur blog is awesome, enjoy!

1. My writing (supposedly it's good)

2. My courage (I'm an actor. If we don't have courage with how we publicly put our emotions out there and work in a business driven by rejection, then idk what we have besides trauma and ego issues)

3. My fashion sense (is usually mid but sometimes I wear something and I feel I look really good, so let me be delulu)

4. My eye shape

5. My hands (they're small and with weird fingers haha)

Tagging some victims: @gyutaro-shabana-upper6 @zohakuten7 @doumadono @doma-uppertwo @michikatsutsugikuni-rp (answer as michi!) @misaki-the-lotusflower @the-muzansama (answer as muzan, bitch) @warringwarrioridiot @chibi-koku (I miss you, son) @ask-yoriichi

[chojiwithahat]

✨hiragi-san✨ and character agency in nii sensei's wind breaker

(archived version; currently under re-editing 🙏)

Chapter 15: Vow to Follow / Chasing His Back

*slowly takes off hat and puts it on sako* sako with a hat now-

"Character agency" in writing is when characters have the capacity/ability to make choices that affects the narrative. In fiction aimed for a younger audience that focuses on young characters as the active protagonists, adults (ex. parents) are often written to be more absent so that the young cast has more agency in the story.

However, a writing pitfall could be creating the implication that "adults are unreliable" (which can be true in some realities, but context and perspective is important. For example: the adult is absent just for the sake of it VS highlighting the issue of neglect, resulting in a character finding adults unreliable. A different spin can be when the kids purposefully hide their problems from the adults because they didn't want to burden them, and/or didn't trust them, in turn preventing adults from having the chance to help. Whether or not that has further weight in the narrative is another story).

That is unless the story is about the adult, too, which could invoke some thought provoking perspectives for both younger and older audiences. For example, the idea that adults can continue to grow just as they can make mistakes as well. I do find that it's important to have stories that could tell people confidently that there are adults out there who will help and in the way that matters—perhaps also inspire thoughtful action (as depending on the situation, one's idea of "help" can be another's "harm." At the same time, one's idea of "harm" can harm themselves, rejecting what might actually help—so on and so forth).

All of that, and also to acknowledge those who are already doing so, helping those in need in the way that actually helps.

Some manga that does this really well I feel is Shirahama Kamome's Witch Hat Atelier and Takamatsu Misaki's Skip and Loafer. Furudate Haruichi's Haikyuu!! is another example!!!! For perspective, here's a reaction of a volleyball couple watching the moment the protagonist, Hinata, asks his coach for advice (17:58-20:30)!!!!! (22:45-24:15) for their commentary >:)

Adult unreliability isn't universal, but one's perspective on the matter is dependent on their personal experiences. One's reality isn't the same as another's, and neither should be denied... something something yeah ✨

So what does this have to do with Hiragi-san from Nii Satoru's Wind Breaker?!! GOOD QUESTION *STARTS BREAK DANCING*

more under the cut. a lot more. the main point, even- ⚠️will have manga spoilers up to chapter 170⚠️

FIRSTLY, there are adults in Wind Breaker *points at the townspeople*. But yeah maybe there aren't any teachers visually at Furin school grounds, but I interpreted it as a visual metaphor as windbre's story has a very rich presence of those. Here is a post I wrote talking more about that, the second half detailing more about teacher/adult-presence in windbre.

But in short, I find that windbre's narrative is presented on a stage with three main worlds—as of the current story. These worlds are divided between the past and present (ex. the known/unknown world in the hero's journey):

PRESENT TIME 1. delinquent world (main plot conflict/arcs): little to no adult presence; the youths have full agency here using fight conversations to settle problems. 2. townspeople world (transitional scenes/arcs): has adult presence; only the adults who are received positively by the young cast exist in this world (so far). This is when patrols happen, too. PAST 3. flashback world (informs present time): with very few exceptions, teachers still do not exist in classroom settings. We also only meet adults outside of school grounds, and only the adults who've left positive impact has their faces shown clearly and/or named. I note that during flashbacks in main plot conflicts (when characters are fighting in present time), the flashbacks do not include like, story interaction with adults. Maybe allusions to it (like a panel as Tsubaki mentions Ito and Yui to Suzuri), but we only like have fuller interactive moments in flashbacks during transitional arcs (Tsubaki telling Sakura about Ito and Yui).

The “school” setting definitely made the lack of faculty presence louder, but I find that the visual lack of faculty in Furin further emphasizes the youth/students' actions and their identity as Bofurin (protectors of the town).

The adult harm/help told in the past do hold significant weight in the narrative. It's just that the way windbre is presented is very stylized, contrasting with the more grounded elements of the narrative contents—which might be a reason why the absent teachers throw people off!

BACK TO HIRAGI-SAN (I PROMISE THE CONTEXT HELPS)

So like, I was rereading windbre again and it was like.....damn.... 𝓱𝓲𝓻𝓪𝓰𝓲-𝓼𝓪𝓷🌹✨ but then one moment in Noroshi Arc jumped out to me, especially when contrasting with an earlier moment in the narrative:

Chapter 15: Vow to Follow / Chasing His Back || Chapter 130: Beyond Pain

I went like "Huh? What?" like sakocchan AND WHOAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

There's also this visual parallel moment:

Chapter 15: Vow to Follow / Chasing His Back || Chapter 129: Fury

Something something quoting @causticsodaa (thank you for listening to me ramble about this again!!!!!!): “I'm sorry I couldn't live up to your expectations” vs “I will live up to your expectations”

AND SO I took another dive at the backstories involving Hiragi and like *puts hands together* HERE'S SOME OBSERVATIONS:

1. Sako's backstory is the first fuller backstory flashback in the plot, and it's centered around Hiragi. (Chapter 15: Vow to Follow / Chasing His Back) This aligns with how no adults are shown in flashbacks during major conflicts, like Togame and Choji's (Chapter 19: The Setting Sun; Chapter 26: Good Old Days / Nostalgia).

2. Comparing Ume, Tsubaki-chan, and Hiragi, and how they supported fellow youths around them: During Ume and Tsubaki's elementary school days, they are faced with a major obstacle in their lives and is supported by adults (Shitara Yuki / Ito and Yui) (Chapter 93: Umemiya Hajime's Childhood Days - Chapter 64: Childhood Days) Hiragi is currently the odd one out in that during his elementary school days, HE was the one helping his fellow kids (Sako and Kaji). Sako and Kaji as elementary schoolers also does not get shown to have adult help, contrasting with Ume and Tsubaki. (Chapter 15: Vow to Follow / Chasing His Back - Chapter 124: Hating Myself) If this pattern continues with Momose and Mizuki, Hiragi being the odd one out suits how he's not from the same middle school as Ume and the rest of the Four Kings, and how Hiragi's the last piece to Ume's master bofurin keikaku. (Chapter 165: Haven)

3. When we finally got a Hiragi thinking back to the past, he thinks about Kaji, someone HE helps (Chapter 129: Fury). This also happens during present-time fighting, which contrasts with Ume and Tsubaki telling their stories during transitional arcs. Many characters also think back to their benefactor rather than the one they helped, like with Togame's flashback during Shishitoren Arc, he thinks of Choji (his benefactor; the difference between Choji and Hiragi as benefactors though, is that Choji didn't "help" Togame in the mind of he wants to help Togame. It just happened to end up that way just by Choji being himself. Hiragi helped with the intent to help). A side tangent, for Tsubaki's second flashback (during Noroshi Arc), Tsubaki thinks of Ume, who helps Tsubaki and when they're both as middle schoolers (Chapter 120: War - Chapter 121: My Prince). Only when Ume's in middle school do we see his active support towards fellow and younger kids, like Tsubaki and Sugishita.

AND THEN HERE'S A PRESENT-TIME OBSERVATION

4. Ume as a third year furin high schooler has a tendency to intrude into talking spaces where he isn't involved. (Chapter 59: The Sempai's Teachings)

This contrasts with Hiragi, who actively takes a step back and let his underclassmen figure stuff out, only giving minimal pushes to get the conversation going. (Chapter 170: Resurgence)

And then here we have Ume and Hiragi clashing HJSDGHS (Chapter 61: Get-Together)

And then, one more important pattern: Kaji is known to be someone who "no one really knew how to handle" (Chapter 35: Kaji Ren). Banjo in present time, without any doubt I feel, would also be categorized by society as someone "no one really knew how to handle."

In both cases, it's Hiragi, someone of their age group, who steps in to help. He stopped attacking after Banjo screamed "no," which I find very telling of Hiragi's character.

He also explains to Banjo about why he felt disgusted fighting him and about boundaries, something that Banjo probably never learned of OR just didn't understand. (Chapter 130: Beyond Pain)

*PUTS HANDS TOGETHER* SO.

Something something about Hiragi, ever since he was an elementary schooler, takes on a position that would usually and ideally be reserved to an adult (Shitara Yuki, Ito and Yui, and Sugi grand parents). He creates a space of safety for his fellow elementary and middle schoolers before Bofurin existed. This is especially the case for those who do not get shown to receive adult help—

—for reasons like "no one knew how to handle [Kaji]" or inattentiveness and neglect (Sako getting bullied).

With that in mind, Hiragi is similar to Suzuri, who stepped up for his fellow kids in an environment where it's explicitly stated that "no one in this town had the luxury to save anyone else" (Chapter 80: Ideals and Reality). Throughout his school career (elementary to high school), Hiragi's the one catching the kids who slipped between the cracks of a "normal" society.

The reason why I talked about character agency earlier, is to connect with how, once again, Hiragi takes on a position that's usually for adults in windbre (he's also the first character to be shown with this role in a flashback to begin with, to approach another with the intent to help). So if we put him as that "adult" role in the narrative sense, he's the only "adult" (aside from Suzuri) who steps into the delinquent world where "youths" have full agency.

But like, the thing is, he's still a kid, and so far (Shishitoren -> Noroshi arc) we haven't met a significant adult who changed the trajectory of his life, and I find that very *grabs my nonexistent hiragi-nui plush and shakes him around*

Coming back to these two moments:

Chapter 15: Vow to Follow / Chasing His Back || Chapter 130: Beyond Pain

With adults and character agency in mind, Hiragi ("adult") attempts to "return agency" to his followers ("youths"), in that he believes they need to find their own goal (sounds kinda contradictory here ain't it *waggles eyebrows*).

There are two highlighted ways this is taken by his followers:

1. Hiragi takes away [Sako]'s agency to follow him. 2. That's what Hiragi thinks, so [Kaji] has the agency to continue following him.

Chapter 126: By Your Side

The funny part /silly is that after Kaji shared this with Sako, Sako doubled down on his decision to not follow Hiragi anymore because that would mean Sako's a dumbass for following what Hiragi says hgdjkshjkgh

And then there is the exception of Banjo, who Hiragi says "come to me" to.

Hiragi takes away Banjo's agency to fight/hurt other people.

In the case of Hiragi and his followers, while there's also the upperclassmen to underclassmen power dynamic difference, as the delinquent world only has youths (so no extremely obvious power difference between like, authoritative figures like teachers/police and the youths), they're really all narratively at the same level. To me, Kaji's assertion is what highlights this.

Edit: Connecting this with Hiragi's commentary about boundaries with Banjo, Sako.... kind of's also the only one who respected Hiragi's words/feelings. As much as he wanted Hiragi to say "come with me," he didn't get it, so it's akin to not getting Hiragi's consent to continue following him—which also contrast with Sako originally being the one who demanded Hiragi to train him to begin with! The way Hiragi worded his "you shouldn't follow me anymore," it's also focusing more on his followers than himself... I'll have to reread the full flashback again with Sako's commentary hdgjkdsjs

Though there's also the question of translation and nuance; so here I will be taking a look at the original Japanese text:

「お前(まえ)はついてこない方(ほう)がいい」

お前(まえ)は: You ついてこない方(ほう): the act of not following がいい: is okay (いい means good/good connotation)

So literally, it's something like, "it's okay if you don't follow me." or even like, something along the lines of "the act of you not following me is a good thing."

But because I'm not that familiar with the nuance in this kind of context, this could totally sound like "you shouldn't follow me anymore"—AND THAT SAID here's digital edition 1.0.1's version of the same dialogue!!!!!!!!

(There's different official english editions; the one I've been showing earlier is 1.0.0. I think the print versions are following 1.0.1? Based off of my copy of vol 2, at least!!)

YEAH.

Either way Hiragi's definitely deciding what's best for his followers (which, can in a way resonate with like, for example the idea of adults knowing better than the kids? which in turns invalidates what kids think/feel?). Though, this dialogue can also be quite telling about how Hiragi sees himself, too. Kinda like...... that part when Ume's talking about Hiragi's good points and he responds with "you can find anyone like that".... or something..... yeah.......

Chapter 97: Umemiya Hajime's Ambition Arc 2

That being said!!!! These two panels:

Chapter 130: Beyond Pain

Something about this moment (Sako and Hiragi's awkward "sorry" "no uh I'm sorry" "wait I'm not blaming you" "hauwhgh I mean, like, sit down you're the one who asked me to handle this" followed by Hiragi's expression and sigh of relief here) made me go ow ow ow owow- /pos

Rarely does Hiragi have light in his eyes (even more obvious in the anime, with how they colored his eyes), but that panel above, and the following below, are the moments we get to see the light clearly—at least from what I remember distinctively:

Chapter 97: Umemiya Hajime's Ambition Arc 2 Hiragi after hearing Ume out.

Chapter 124: Hating Myself Kaji's first meeting with Hiragi, and how Hiragi helped him.

Chapter 161: The Fog Lifts Hiragi thanking Inugami.

Chapter 170: Resurgence Kaji, post-reverting to "that," proving his determination to continue training and growing stronger. This is also after a flashback where Kusumi, Enomoto, and Kaji had their conversation, with Hiragi lightly mediating and witnessing their growth himself. I note that he got a bit peeved that Kaji didn't tell him that Kusumi and Enomoto was visiting, too. Perhaps because he didn't like the idea of intruding on them?

And then if we're counting colored pages, Chapter 100: The Great Fires of Extinction Opening Act, too, when the Four Kings + Sakura yells the Bofurin motto.

By the time Hiragi first met Sako (who I'm pretty sure joined Hiragi's group later on, considering how he's depicted farther away and behind the group), there is no light in his eyes.

Chapter 15: Vow to Follow / Chasing His Back Edit: I realized this panel isn't really a good example but do check out the chapter and take a look at Hiragi's close ups👍

That in itself implies a lot I think, but one thing I feel strongly about that is that he only gets the light back in his eyes when he gets some sort of reassurance:

With Ume, it's that Ume is not messing around with his ambition to change the town—and perhaps how Ume acknowledges Hiragi in the way that matters to Hiragi.

Ume needs Hiragi because he doesn't put Ume on a pedestal. Hiragi hears the words he probably needed to hear, from someone aside his own followers (see: Sako praising him in the past). Both of their criticism/praise towards each other has actual weight to each other. At that very moment, they were equals through and through, even more than just being in same age group. (something something both of their charisma + merit points puts them on pedestals, isolating them from even their own friend groups and in a different way as them all "delinquents" gets alienated by the rest of society.... something..... yeah. There's also the fact that the way Ume takes Hiragi seriously. Like back with Chapter 16: The Power of the Second-In-Command / The Opponent's True Power, when Ume says "But talk to me it when you feel like it, okay? That's the story I absolutely want to hear" followed by Hiragi's surprised expression.... It makes me think of how sometimes, like... for example: adults don't take kids seriously. In Hiragi's case, we don't know how often adults takes him seriously or not, at least not as of the current story. As for Ume, he has an adult who take him seriously. In fact, he had and still has many adults taking him seriously. Ume's heart bucket is full of care and love....)

And then with Kaji and Sako, the two kids he'd been looking out for for so long, it's the reassurance that they will be fine. That they're going to be okay—that they are okay. They got people by their side. He can also stay by their side.

Chapter 161: The Fog Lifts

in conclusion.....

uhhhh uhhh so yeah I really like how windbre shows a variety of examples of how adult help/harm/absence can affect the young cast, all of them having weight in the narrative!!!!!!! With Hiragi, it's how he, as a kid, looks out for fellow kids who didn't get to receive the guidance from adults who probably could've helped.

now with all that out of the way here's Hiragi getting laughed at for looking old and worn out:

Chapter 104: Uninvited Guest

something something the jokes about kids in (ani)manga not looking their age but this time there's actual narrative weight to hiragi's old looking design >:3 For the source material manga, at least. The anime adaptation uhhhhuhmhgm yeah everyone looks a bit older! Kinda~ Sells better I guess? *tackles myself into the ground before that can of worms opens WAHOO*

BUT SPEAKING OF THE ANIME ADAPTATION

One thing I really love that they added: a flashback cut in EP 6 where Hiragi spots Sako getting bullied.

When Hiragi pulled up at the scene, the OST WIND BREAKER(Main Theme) starts playing, just like when Kaji, Matsumoto, and Yanagida pulls up after Hiragi at EP 1. The use of that OST in that added Hiragi flashback scene evokes the Bofurin spirit during a time when Bofurin haven't even existed.

Umemiya created a world where kids like Hiragi wouldn't be alone when they find themselves in an "adult" caretaker role.

bonus: comparison list between a few more windbre characters with agency in mind:

Hiragi Toma: The type to carry things out to the end responsibly, gets worried over his followers' agency so tried to return it to them (but that instead could be interpreted as him taking away their choice to follow him (Sako) and so Kaji was like raises an eyebrow "bruh what, it's my choice to follow you")

Umemiya Hajime: In his childhood, his agency got violently taken away so he attempted desperate ways to get it back (there's a connection between self destruction and one's perception of their agency; his parents' deaths were out of his control, so he blamed himself to regain control in his life) -> develops a tendency to self-blame, which takes away other characters' agency (responsibility, like Takiishi's) with "I'm the one who made this decision/became leader" as an argument for his side.

here's @causticsodaa's analysis about ume's self-blame tendencies~

Choji jumpscare: Lost direction/grasp of himself and blames everyone else (which can be read as like, taking away their agency that they didn't actually do anything that resulted in Choji's "boredom." Choji decided for them and acted on it). (Chapter 23: The Top VS The Top)

Surprise Sakura: After being constantly rejected, he tried to regain agency by giving up/rejecting others (rather than taking the risk of others rejecting him again). (Chapter 58: Discussion)

Walking up the staircase with Suo Hayato: Whatever tf this implies!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 11: A Kind Man / A Gentleman - Chapter 12: Step On Up / The Staircase to Adulthood

Lil awkward guy Sugishita-kun: "Fanatic" who doesn't think for himself, in a way giving up his agency (but now, he got it back!!!!!!!!! with his own words at that!!!!!!) (Chapter 165: Haven - Chapter 168: To Show Color)

*breathes raggedly*

thanks for reading🌹✨

[ridiasfangirlings]

Hello, Ridia-san! Can I request a Siren Saru?

Saru is open about him being a siren, but most people don't know since they thought those behaviors of his were just part of his personality. Like taking a long ass bath like he owns the shower, avoiding cats (he is half fishy so- (poor neko), not bathing with other people, etc.

Suddenly a mission with other clans happens, and they need to infiltrate a building in the middle of the ocean. Unfortunately, the said ocean is dangerous and cannot be taken lightly, so they need another way to get it there without gaining the attention of other people. While discussing what they should do (more like fighting *ehem* Homra and Scepter 4), Saru grew impatient and decided to jump in the waters. Seeing this threw others into panic mode, but after a while, a head emerged from the water. It's Saruhiko. With his long hair and below his waist is this large, beautiful white to blue ombre tail that seems to glow under the sun. Seeing this seems to strike the others into silence and... (I'll leave the rest to you, Ridia-san! Hoping to see the reactions of the other clans + alphabet squad ^^)

I feel like Yata and Munakata would probably be the main two who know about this, because Yata lived with Fushimi for a while and Munakata is just creepy that way. Like imagine in this AU that mythical creatures are known to exist but it’s like a low key thing where they try to blend in with humans. Say Kisa was actually a siren, Niki caught her out of the water and convinced her to come live with him on land. After she gives birth to Fushimi (wait, would he have been hatched from an egg in this AU) she promptly returns to the ocean to get away from her shitty husband and Fushimi is left alone with Niki, who enjoys joking about making tasty fried fish out of his son. Fushimi doesn’t really try to hide that he’s a siren but he doesn’t talk about it either, he forges a note to get himself out of swimming in gym class and doesn’t talk to anyone about his true heritage because he doesn’t want to deal with being looked at like some kind of freak. 

Yata of course is the first one to really find out, like maybe this is the first time too that Fushimi’s been hesitant about letting anyone know his secret because he doesn’t want Misaki to reject him. Yata drags him to the beach one day though and maybe Yata ends up getting caught in like a rip tide or something and Fushimi dives in to save him, revealing his true form with beautiful glittering scales and a long elegant tail. Yata is amazed and immediately starts talking about how awesome this is, Saruhiko is even cooler than he thought, and suddenly being a siren doesn’t seem like such a bad thing. When they join Homra though imagine Fushimi feeling irritated at the idea of everyone knowing, like Totsuka suggests a beach trip and Yata’s ready to mention how cool Fushimi is in the water and Fushimi just shushes him and spends the whole time under an umbrella on the beach instead (Anna keeps giving him significant looks though, and when someone tries to hit him with a water gun she moves in front of him to intercept the splash).

Then he joins S4 and like the first thing Munakata does is wonder if Fushimi would like a private bath due to his ‘heritage,’ Fushimi gives him this suspicious look like I don’t even want to know how you know. He denies the special treatment though, the whole thing is too much of a pain and he doesn’t want to deal with annoying questions. Instead he always takes his baths alone and probably puts like a lock on the bath when he’s in there too, if anyone wants to come take one when he’s in the bath they have to get used to waiting a good hour or so. Some of the lower ranked members complain about it, that the brat from Homra is always hogging the bath, but Fushimi doesn’t care and Munakata just gives a secretive smile when he hears. Also imagine Fushimi being slightly nervous around Kamo and trying his best to hide it, he doesn’t have anything against Kamo it’s just he knows the guy was a sushi chef and Fushimi’s natural instincts make him tense up around that kind of person. 

The whole thing remains mostly a secret (I feel like Awashima finds out about it at some point too, and is briefly shocked before admirably recovering and resuming whatever mission they were on) until one day there’s a Strain issue that does require the squad to infiltrate an island in the middle of the ocean. This is post-ROK and Homra is helping out, though maybe Yata and Anna are elsewhere at the time and Kusanagi is in charge on that end. Munakata is pleased that their beach training paid off at last, the rest of the squad are more hesitant because they can all swim but this is a little more than just ‘swimming.’ Kusanagi doesn’t think sending their guys out into the ocean with just life vests is the best idea. He and Munakata are being passive aggressive at each other while Fushimi sits there getting increasingly annoyed (and maybe Munakata keeps looking at Fushimi significantly out of the corner of his eye and it’s getting irritating). Finally he’s like ‘I’ll just take care of it’ and he dives right into the water. The S4 alphabet and Kusanagi are all immediately alarmed, Kusanagi did not expect Fushimi of all people to be this reckless, but Munakata is totally serene about the whole thing as he says there is no problem. 

Kusanagi’s all disbelieving ‘no problem?’ when Fushimi surfaces in full siren mode, complaining that Munakata’s going to owe him overtime for this. The alphabet boys are all momentarily on guard but then Akiyama gives a tentative ‘Fushimi…san?’ and Fushimi clicks his tongue to cover that he’s actually a little embarrassed about this whole thing. The S4 boys all think this is really cool though, Doumyouji happily says see Kamo he doesn’t hate you he was just worried you’d fillet him. Fuse mutters that this explains the long baths and Hidaka remembers how Fushimi was the only one who never got into the water when they did their deserted island beach training. The Homra alphabet are probably wondering how they missed this, imagine Kamamoto texting Yata all worriedly that Fushimi turned into a fish and getting back a sheepish ‘oh…you guys didn’t know, huh?.’ Kusanagi especially is a little baffled that he didn’t know this, though now it makes sense why Fushimi never went in the ocean at beach trips and why Yata always acted nervous whenever they went out for sushi. Munakata meanwhile is definitely being unbearably smug about the fact that he knew this all along and Kusanagi didn’t, much to Kusanagi’s irritation, though Awashima at least has the grace to look a little apologetic that they never mentioned this to him.

[aphicelend]

Misaki Shirayama

26 y.o | 1.52 cm | Japanese | April 4th | Aries

(APH) Human | City Ver. | Colorful AU | BOX AU

Tags: #Art/HC tag | #Posts related to her | #MisAme

Wanted to do a profile for her here 💦 Misaki has been one of my fave oc's since 2012 and i'm having fun drawing her a lot again, and I love to put her in my other oc's stories 💃 so here's info of her hetalia AU(?

i wrote everything in spanish and im lazy to translate it properly so, google translator yay

| Personality

Introverted | Temperamental | Stubborn | Agressive | Kind | Caring

Misaki is a young woman with a fiery personality, she has little patience for stupidity. She is a hard worker, and likes to put effort into what she likes. She is also stubborn when it comes to opinions if it is not her way she will not do it, she tends to violence when someone bothers her. Her pride is something precious to her.

Despite this, when she gets upset she needs her time to calm down and then apologize. Even so, Misaki is a girl who cares about others, her way of showing her appreciation is through actions, especially cooking.

Socially inept, having lived surrounded by “nations” Misaki behaves awkwardly with other humans, for some reason she always feels distant and finds it difficult to understand them.

Having grown up with nations, Misaki did not develop “parental affection” or someone to consult her problems with, because she considered that Japan would not fully understand her.

He usually feels a constant feeling of loneliness, his heart is a hard shell that makes it difficult for him to let in emotions like love.

| BACKGROUND (Hetalia AU)

Strip about her background

In this AU, Misaki was raised by Japan who took care over her as she was abandonated. Her childhood was kinda chaotic, surrounded by nations of course she didn't grow like other kids, she felt distanced.

Japan tried his best to give her a normal life, of course he wasn't used to raise a kid. Misaki always wondered why did he took her? He felt lonely? She would never know.

She always had a sense of loneliness, a feeling of she doesn't belong where she is. Mother? Father? What's that, she only had "weird uncles"

Misaki was very problematic at school, her classmates teased her a lot and she answered back with violence.

Through her adolescence, she kinda developed a crush on Yao, and she was rejected, of course, the man only saw her as a little sister.

More about it here.

Time heals, she tried to moved on. On Uni, she meet a guy named Kazuo, they clicked and became a couple, Misaki thought that finally had someone who cared for her deeply, but no. The guy cheated on her. That was the point that made her close herself.

-> She lives alone in an old traditional house that Japan left for her, she works as botanic in a national park in Kyoto.

| Interests and facts

She LOVES gardering and plants. She has a traditional garden on her house and it's her first priority.

She's very good at cooking, Japan and China taught her very well.

Also Romano as shared with her some italian recipes so she could "learn something good"

Her way to show love is giving you food.

Her dream is to open her own restaurant.

One of her interests are kimonos, she likes to make her own

Favorite station is autumn, she loves when trees go orange.

Loves cats, and bunnies, loves cute things.

She likes minimalist clothing, plain clothes or stripped patterns

Her face may look annoyed but she's kind, and gets along better with girls.

She has been mistaken for a minor

Does she feel something for Alfred?? who knows.

She's just afraid to someone break into her heart and get too attatched.

| RELATIONSHIPS

I made this chart

| Music

Mostly vocaloid because i'm a weeb

Balsam / Misaki - About her loneliness

The Beast / Misaki - Her fear to open her heart

I'm glad you're evil too / Misaki - Her wish to find someone

Girl Pilot / MisAme - Their dynamic, Alfred trying to reach her but he can't

I can't stop the loneliness / Misaki - the song says it all lol, maybe her fear that its too late?

Hammer Song And The Tower Of Pain / Misaki - Pushing everyone away it's the best

MAD HEAD LOVE / MisAme - Their dynamic, they're idiots.

----

If you got this far here's some old misaki drawings, old hetalia? ocs? she used to have friends and now she's DEPRESSED.

2012 | 2014

[missbadideas]

Too late for goodbyes (Take me back)

It feels as if the days have been moving slower as of late. Every moment feels dull, dry, and Misaki has been rejecting every assassination request they've gotten. They didn't want to be around people, they just wanted to bury themselves somewhere and forget their pathetic existence. 

It isn't as if this feeling was new. It came and went, just like everything else they felt. 

(Just like the constant regret and other feelings of inadequacy chasing after them.) 

If they ignored it enough and kept it in a box, it'll go away just like always.  

Their parents had kicked them out. They didn't associate with Misaki a lot, but god they loved Misaki. Misaki knows their parents loved them. Their childhood was good, warm, happy. As much as it could've been, at least.

( Stress, debts, their parents crying. )

Their funeral was some time ago. 

Misaki's phone was flooded with notifications. She put it on silent a while ago, and she didn't want to bother with opening it.

She hasn't opened it ever since they got the news.

They numbly grab at their phone and unlock it, their face being hit with the brightness of the screen. their curtains are covering the window, not letting the sun in.

Misaki scrunches up their nose at the brightness and turns it down, before scrolling mindlessly through the texts their friends sent. 

They almost closed their phone and went back to sleep if not for the text messages they got sent almost instantly.

5 Notification from <Goreboy> 15 Notifications from <Angelic> 12 Notifications from <K9>

They were all asking Misaki for a call. They didn't have the energy to talk to all of them. 

God, Misaki was such a shit friend.

Guilt simmered in their gut, making them nauseous despite not eating for the past few days.

They aren't sure they want to look at the messages. They can't handle this right now.

The phone is shaky in their grip, and their shoulders are tense as they scroll through old messages. V seems to have tried calling them nonstop, apparently. His last message would've concerning, if Misaki could muster up enough energy to care.

( They want to throw themselves down the deep end. They're a useless piece of trash who won't ever amount to anything, never made their parents proud- fucking mistake of a child-)

Misaki doesn't have the energy to cry. They didn't cry when they got the news, they didn't cry during the funeral, and they won't be crying now.

They decide to message in general. 

<Hitmeuppp> I did not live laugh love very much lately Srry pookies <Hitmeuppp> is typing... <Hitmeuppp> Im genuinly sorry though, i didnt mean to ignore you guys, i just dont know what to do with my life lately.  <Hitmeuppp> is typing... <Hitmeuppp> is typing... <Hitmeuppp> My parents passed away.

They feel a bile in their throat, but they swallow it down. That was the hard truth, but it feels different typing it out.

It almost feels real now.

<Hitmeuppp> I wasnt in a goo d spoace and i still dont think I amn if im not online or if i dont commit murders for a while thats why i just need time i dont know, probably if i dont reply for too long though i probs offed myself 

She took a deep breath, their fingers freezing over the keyboard of their phone. They don't know what to do with themselves lately. Was it a joke? they don't know anymore.

<Hitmeuppp> jk jk i wouldnt 

Everything they did was for their parents. They finally helped them clear their debt, they were supposed to reconcile, Misaki was planning on finally stopping their assassinations and genuinely trying.

Things were supposed to get better. 

Call from <Angelic> -> Accept  -> Decline 

One, two, three seconds- Misaki let their phone ring for one minute straight before they forced their shaky finger to press accept.

" Misaki...How have you been?" Angel's voice sounded tired. It reminds Misaki that she doesn't know how the others have been while she's been ignoring the server and all other online activities. They’re not sure how to answer that. “Uh, well, you know! Vaguely shrugs, things are fine. They’re going, I guess.”  Misaki counts one, two, three- and then Angel answers. Misaki can hear her moving around. There’s sounds of traffic, noise- was that Ronin in the background? “ You don’t have to force it…if you need to talk, you know I’ll always make time for you when I can. I’m sure the others feel the same way.” It felt vulnerable, honest, too much so for them. They want to hang up immediately. They can’t- think. Their throat was tight. “ I…- I just wish you guys were here? It’s, It’s stupid. “ “...Give me a moment.” Not ominous at all, nor is it disheartening- sure. 

A knock on the door right after she ended the call. Misaki pocketed their phone, tapping their foot anxiously as they held the handle. They’re not sure they could handle social interaction with strangers, especially after Angel ended the call like that.

" Holy shit, V?" Misaki breathed out, their eyes widening as their grip on the door handle loosened after they opened the door.

V's shoulders looked tense, and he reached out to cover Misaki's hand with his own. " We...I am regretful to hear of your loss, Misaki. My condolences."

They'd gotten close- somewhat, Misaki likes to think, ever since a few halloweens ago. Misaki would even consider them friends now.

" Uh, it's like, totally fine. Not that you killed them or anything." They chuckle, only realizing they're choking down a sob afterwards. Their throat feels tight, and their cheeks are wet.

V looks almost panicked by the sight of their tears. Misaki would've found it a bit funny, if not for the circumstances.

" Have I...imposed? If you'd prefer to grieve alone, that is understandable. I-" He was interrupted by an all too familiar voice. 

" Christ, loser vigilante. We're not fucking off after comin' all the way here." 

" Ronin..." A gentle soft voice sighed. "Despite his choice of words, Ro's right, V. We're not leaving Misaki to deal with this on their own. She's been going through a lot, lately. "

It took them a moment, but they noticed two distinct figures behind him. Familiar wine red hair and a blonde woman. Ronin had one hand in his pocket, while Angel wore a tight-lipped smile. 

" You...Ronin? Angel? you two came? wait, Angel, I was- like, just on the phone with you?? when did you even have the time?" Misaki didn't know what to say. Had they planned this? just for her? 

Were they that worried?

Angel's smile lost some of its tightness, but it still didn't reach her eyes. " I was in the car when we called. We all booked a flight to visit you, since you weren't answering calls or texts. We were...We were worried, Misaki. " 

There's no telling if this will ever go away entirely, grief comes and goes most say.

But for now, things feel like they'll be okay. 

Everything will be okay. ____________ A little rushed, once again gotta study for exams tis a sad life

[2n2n]

ch. 111

the plot thickens and I am thrown all around the room as if in a hurricane... I really cannot predict Iro-sensei's plots!!!!!!

oh Amane, all of your efforts, your gestures.... what a desperate, helpless feeling

its the most predictable response Tsukasa would have, but it still hurts very very much.

he's reaaaally strange isn't he... he's like that....

oh Amane.... you're so reactive to perceived rejection and failure. You'll say the worst things, you'll think the worst things... you're sooo unstable, Amane!

What, you simply don't accept that your otouto would 'try to leave you'? I bet it's something like that. You "know he's fake" now because he "wouldn't do something like this to you"... that's my guess at your dumb little brain. Don't take him too seriously, okay, Tsutsu? Your brother just can't handle the sense of rejection of you choosing to die & leave him behind, or he can't handle that all his gestures and attempts to show his love fell so flat that you have no idea at all of his desperate love of you. Nooooo you have to be fake~~~ my real otouto would understand and he'd never leave me~~!!! I don't think you, Amane, understand how suicidal your real otouto was, and is, to this day! Would you believe it has less to do with disregarding you, and more to do with not believing in his own life's worth? No, you won't believe that, right... it's about you, instead! hahaha....

I'm glad I played AidaIro's Snow White game because... Estelio is THIS HURTFUL to Rasphard, and it's just out of a sense of being rejected!!! Estelio would kick his twin's goddamn corpse on the ground, let him wriggle and DIE in pain and AGONY if Estelio has the impression Rasphard wants nothing to do with him or isn't considering him ... LOL. Iro likes this kind of ... troubled, insecure, desperate, spiteful, needy person... you want the perfect brother, who loves you. You have that, but you can't understand the idea of someone choosing to leave you through death....

I wonder if Tsukasa started grabbing your jacket to move you to protect you.... meanwhile, Amane impulsively moved to protect his ~~~fake otouto, haha!

I wonder ... if Nene-chan has her memories because, she is magical etc, or if Akane actively made Teru do something to her to enable her to... stay as an aware asset, since he isn't completely sided with the Clockkeepers... maybe Akane is waiting to see what 'new future' comes to be, and seeding a few tricks to utilize if he doesn't agree or wishes to pull out? (I mean, if the Severance never happened, Aoi definitely would not be his girlfriend haha)...

The clockeeper's circumstance is interesting enough. Its very Aidairo-core. But not enough for me to talk about haha.

swag, I have been right the whole time! cool. yep!! of course. logical haha!! I can't be too proud of myself, it's been spelled out ...

that same old God~~ our Tsutsu!

the year before the murder, when the boys were 12... fuckin scary place to go to. What on Earth are you changing... the circumstances of the shinjuu?

if we're 'fixing' the 'problem', I wonder if that means we'll be going into the original timeline, where Amane would likely still be alive-- he'd just be an old man, and Nene-chan's teacher at Kamome. Wouldn't that be so funny and interesting? Lol. What would we all do if Amane was "Yugi-sensei" and like, old! It would be very AidaIro core AHAHAH ahhh the agegap fetish--! It's not enough to have Sumire x Hakubo and Yako x Misaki and Kako x Mirai and the entire Monstery Nursery AUs LOL you know, we need more ahahahaah (HanaNene is already technically biiig agegap! I would laugh if actually making Amane like 60 woke some people up flfjdklfdjk)

I'm just not sure... Amane could just be dead, I guess, and Tsukasa. Or he could be alive, and old. I have a vague theory that he must be a kaii because of, whatever he or Tsukasa had done together during the shinjuu... (maybe Amane was impulsed to eat some part of Tsukasa, maybe the God blessed Amane at the last second, etc etc)... it's hard to imagine Amane would be a school mystery-- Tsukasa is his yorishiro after all... and we don't quite know what circumstances make Sumire and Tsukasa into objects, if being sacrificed to the God had something essential to do with that...

Well, so interesting, I wonder if Nene-chan will have to go even further than she did in Picture Perfect-- in that arc, she had to choose to reject a seemingly perfect, but ultimately fabricated, world; even if it was 'nicer' than the 'real world'. Now, she might be shown a world fixed of its cracks-- it could even possibly be a world Amane never had to murder his brother, like she wanted before. Nene-chan is so often getting "what she asked for" in the wrong way, at the wrong time. She fell in love with "Hanako". Is the boy she fell in love with "here"? Is he in a form she can confess to?

Furthermore, she just bonded with Tsukasa, and has knowledge of the Red House... must be essential, to write that happening before this-- just before, even. Tsukasa even inspired her to need to free herself, even if Amane isn't there to save her.

Poor Nene-chan though-- so scary!!! What an awful situation to be in HAHAHA, flung around...

I have no idea what Mitsuba's situation will be, but Tsukasa is responsible for our "Mitsuba" to even be around. He wouldn't have even managed to become the ghost about the entryway without Tsukasa kaii-ifying him through his first, vague wish.

Well, it would be funny if these things were all true now:

-Amane is alive, but he's old lol -Aoi is not Akane's gf, and maybe that other timeline was the only goddamn way you could ever get her within reach lol -No Mitsuba To Speak Of lol

MUCH POSSIBLE, MUCH TO THINK ABOUT-- MAYBE I'M WRONG ABOUT IT ALL!!! Iro-sensei writes such interesting plot twists WOO ahahaha! I WONDER IF WE WILL INTERACT WITH 12 YEAR OLD TSUKASA AGAAAIN~~ pleaaase ~~

feeling more certain than ever that Tsukasa is The single most tragic member of this cast hahaha

[wonopia]

THE PHOTOBOOTH | 013. NO ONE BELIEVES ME

[WC] . 1500 [WARNINGS] . mentions of sa, rape, etc. reminder this is all FAKE. prev ! mlist ! next

1 month later.

ding... ding.... ding.... ding... ding... ding.... ding... ding.... ding...

sunghoon’s phone was flooded with messages from his best friends. all under the topic of “what happened?” “where have you been?” “are you okay” and all of which he hasn’t responded to.

its been 2 weeks since school ended, it was now summer break. it has also been 1 week since misaki and him broke up.

he’s been in his room, curtains shut and was bundled in bed. the warmth devouring him whole, barely a peep of light in his room.

“hoon?” his mom knocked from the hallway, “come down and eat breakfast with us, yeah?”

“i’ll come down later,” he said.

although he was probably lying, his mother still responded, “okay, we’ll be waiting for you.”

her foot steps descending away. he sighed, pulling his phone closer to him and sliding it open. he winced at the bright light, his eyes slowly adjusting to it.

jungwon hasn’t stopped bothering them to hang out, they’re texts are half of jungwon getting rejected. maybe i should get out of bed, sunghoon thought.

he sat up, looking around his surprisingly clean room. even during his depressed phase, he still managed to stress-clean.

his eyes wandered around the room, stopping on a pink shoe box in the corner. he could feel his heart tighten at the sight of it.

he got out of bed and made his way to the box, picking it up and sitting against his bed on the floor. he hesitantly opened it, memories flooding his mind.

as if it was yesterday, he could remember everything. the sound of her voice, the way she looked at him, the feeling, the smell– it was too vivid.

“happy 3 months!” misaki cheered, a pink box in her hands, a white ribbon wrapped around it.

“thank you, babe,” he smiled, his eyes crinkling, “happy 3 months,” he said, handing her a small white box and a bouquet of white roses.

“thank you!” she laughed.

his vision became blurry as he peeled off the lid, revealing various items. it had a notebook filled with letters by her— in her hand writing, and a hoodie nicely folded under it.

his tears caressing his cheeks, missing the feeling of her touch, something he deeply craved. he couldn’t stop wondering if she was also suffering; if she missed him as much as he missed her.

he shut the box, pushing it under his bed before getting up. he wiped his tears, leaving his bedroom and to the bathroom.

when he looked in the mirror, he felt twice as worse as he looked. his hair was uncombed, his eyebags were visible from a mile away and he had tear stains along his cheeks.

he immediately hopped in the shower, fixing himself up.

ding dong.

“i got it, mom,” sunghoon called as he hurried down the stairs.

“sunghoon..”

“it’s just the boys,” he told her.

“are you okay?” she asked, grasping lightly at his forearm, “do you want to talk about it?”

he paused, looking at her face, “i’ll talk about it when i’m ready.”

she nodded, understanding before going back to the living room with his sisters. sunghoon pulled open the door, revealing jungwon, heeseung, sunoo, and tae.

“where’s jay?” he asked.

“he said he has something to do and will be a little late,” heeseung informed him, all of them entering sunghoon’s abode.

they all switched to slippers and followed him upstairs to his room. it looked different than it did 20 minutes ago.

the curtains were pushed to the side, light coming through his window and his bed was made nicely. once they all got to his room, they shut the door and piled on his bed.

“so.. you called us over,” tae said, breaking the silence, “did you want to talk about what happened?”

sunghoon debated to tell them the full truth about misaki and him, wondering if she would ever tell the truth to someone. the thought of her made him bite his tongue.

his arm going to cover his face before letting it all out. his cries are something they haven't heard before. sunghoon isn't the type to cry unless it was really important to him.

his friends instantly chose to comfort him, putting they're arms around him.

"it's okay, sunghoon hyung," jungwon said, patting his back.

"let it out, its gonna be okay."

they continued to comfort they're best friend as he tried to channel his breath. nevertheless, it seemed impossible.

"i.. i miss her so much," he cried, his sleeve getting drenched.

jungwon and sunoo fought back the tears to cry with him, "it'll get better."

he attempted to contain himself from crying, sniffling. he removed his arm from his face, the thought of her, made him begin to cry again.

"wait.. no," he sobbed, an image of her trapped in his mind, "she's not... she's not coming back."

they continued to hug him, and repeated that it'd be okay. meanwhile, jay stood at the door absolutely crushed at the sound of him breaking down. his fresh tears falling from his eyes.

he covered his mouth with his hands, muffling his cries as sunghoon's cries flooded his ears. cursing himself that he couldn't protect his best friend.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

thump. thump. thump.

the door was pulled open, revealing a man connected to an iv pole.

jay furrowed his eyebrows, "hello, is misaki home?"

"no," he mumbled, "she's at her friend's house for the weekend."

with that jay, went to the next house in mind.

thump. thump. thump.

"is misaki here?"

wonyoung glared at the boy, clearly annoyed, "go home, jay."

but before she could close the door, jay stopped it with his foot.

"please let me talk to her."

she looked at him through the crack in the door, opening it for him, "five minutes and five minutes only."

"got it," he noted, sliding his shoes off and followed her down a long hallway.

she knocked on a door before peeking in, "jay's here.."

he could hear a voice say "tell him to go away.." he knew it was misaki by the way they sounded; hoarse and worn out.

"i told him he has exactly five minutes," wonyoung said, side eyeing jay from the door.

she reluctantly moved away, pushing it open for him to enter. jay moved past her, quickly taking in the atmosphere.

misaki was sitting on the bed against the headboard, the blanket swallowing half of her. she stared at jay with a tense face.

"i want to know what happened with you and sunghoon," he said in all honesty.

"why don't you just go ask him?" she asked, attitude setting in, "he is your best friend after all."

"he.. he hasn't exactly talked to us about it and i'm sure he doesn't want to."

"and you believe that i want to?" she retorted, now glaring at the boy.

he paused, taking in the change of tension, "please.. please tell me what happened."

misaki looked at him, tears threatening in her eyes. she averted her eyes to the blanket in her lap, hands beginning to toy with it. her breathing becoming unusual.

"jay.." she mumbled, "i fucked it up, you were right," she sobbed, "it was.. it was around the last week of school when.. theo sent me a photo of he and i kissing from last semester."

jay was about to butt in but she continued, "and before you get all mad at me, no i didn't kiss him. i don't know why people don't believe me," she cried, "i feel like i'm going crazy. i.. i know i didn't kiss him. he came onto me, he was.. he.."

"don't tell me he.." jay mumbled, misaki looked at him– tears filled the brim of her eyes, her lips trembled, "i'm so sorry, misaki. i.. i didn't know."

she wiped her tears with a tissue in her hand, "i didn't tell many people. no one really knows except you, ryu, and won."

"so why'd you break it off if you just got a picture?" he asked.

"theo threatened to post it online," misa confessed, "and.. and the video also had park sara in it. it could ruin her reputation, all of which sunghoon would not want. he said he won't post it if i break up with sunghoon."

"you could've told him–"

"told him what, jay? you.. you want me to tell him that in that video i was about to get raped? that in that video i was getting assaulted and no one believed me?" she was at the verge of screaming at him, absolutely furious, "and with you telling me every other day that i was in the wrong was just as worse!"

"misaki," he began, "theo told us you came onto him.."

"i know his side. i know the words people called me, i know the rumors being spread like wild fire," tears tracing her face, "i really liked him, jay. i really wanted it to work out."

thump. thump. thump.

"jay, you should go," wonyoung said, avoiding eye contact with him, "ryujin is about to get back, and she wouldn't be happy to see you here."

note: yall, i could write better chapters than this.

© wonopia 2024

open TAGLIST. @coffeeprincejaehyun @hoonatic @i03jae @lilifiedeans

[a-halfblood-named-coin]

NOW I know I’m a little salty cause my murder family has broken up BUT my clear biases semi aside, I want to just say I don’t think Unasaka Misaki deserves a second chance.

OKAY HEAR ME OUT I KNOW THAT SOUNDS BAD

(Pls remember this is about a fictional women and her fictional struggles. This is not meant to pass judgement on any real person or events.)

In my opinion, she sent Miri to her death, I do not think that is a decision you get to back out of.

Listen, at minimum, Misaki knew Miri’s father was a negligent man, married and a criminal. At most, she knew he was an abusive human trafficker who has affairs. That IS NOT the kind of place you send you child thinking they will live a happy life. That is the place you send your child thinking you will, hopefully, never have to see them again.

No return address. No way to send Miri back if her father rejected her. She sent Miri to an unknown city to find a criminal with nothing but a backpack and one pair of clothes.

So yes, I agree that having a child in such a dangerous career is…well dangerous. I can believe (in general, I have my suspicions about Misaki’s intentions specifically) that someone who is diagnosed with a death sentence could regret certain life choices. That they would wish to reconnect with people they wronged and try to live a happy life for as long as they can. BUT I think it is awful bold of Unasaka Misaki to tell our dads that they’re being negligent by keeping Miri, when it is HER FAULT that they had to take her in at all.

They tried to return her, to do the right thing and not in-danger a child with their work. But she spit on that chance. Talking about how Miris laugh grated on her nerves, how she never wanted her and found her distasteful to look at.

It is HER FAULT that staying with a pair of hit men, however dangerous that might be, was the safest and healthiest place for Miri at the time.

So honestly, tough shit. You care now? You want to be a mother now? Only AFTER you’re dying?

It matters when you’re about to die, but not when your daughter may die…..

Okay,Unasaka Misaki.

[jokertrap-ran]

[Gakuen K] Kusanagi Izumo Route: Chocolate from Other Girls Translation

*Translator’s note : MC’s name shall remain as my normal (水嶋ラン) *Gakuen K Masterlist / Gakuen K Mobile Masterlist *Spoiler FREE : Translations under cut !

Ran: (Valentine’s Day… All the girls in my class seem hyped for it.)

Ran: (I can only pass Kusanagi-san his chocolates during Club time, so maybe I should go give out the obligatory chocolates first…)

Ran: (Where are Yata-kun and the others…? Oh, there they are!)

Ran: What are you doing here?

Misaki: GYAAHH!!

Ran: Huh? What???

Misaki: Wh- What are you doing here!? You- You scared the living hell out of me!

Kamamoto: She wasn’t trying to scare you. Weren’t you the one who spooked yourself…?

Misaki: S-Shut up! What do you want!?

Ran: I just came to give you guys some chocolate.

Kamamoto: Whoa! For real!?

Ran: Yeah. Here you go.

Kamamoto: Ooo! Thanks!

Ran: And this one’s yours, Yata-kun.

Misaki: T-Thanks…

Ran: And so… what are you two doing here?

Kamamoto: Well… Yata-kun was being chased by the girls, so that’s how we ended up here.

Ran: Huh? Really!?

Kamamoto: Yeah. A swarm of them came at us the moment the bell went off…

Kamamoto: But, you know how Yata-kun is when girls are around. He freaked out the moment they swarmed us, and that’s how we ended up here.

Ran: I-I see… I never knew he was that popular.

Kamamoto: Judging from how things look… We’re gonna be late to the Club. Could you help relay it to the others?

Ran: Sure thing. I’ll see you guys later at the Club then!

»» ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♔◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ««

Ran: (It’s a good thing that I managed to catch both Totsuka-senpai and Suoh-senpai to give them theirs, but both of them were surrounded by a terrifying amount of chocolates.)

Ran: …

Ran: (Kusanagi-san seems like the kind to get lots too. I mean, Kukuri-chan did say that he was popular… )

Ran: (Feels like he’d get lots of confessions too, actually.)

Ran: (I don’t really like that, even though I know that it’s not his fault at all.)

»» ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♔◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ««

Ran: Hello.

Izumo: Oh, hello there.

Ran: Here’s your Valentine’s chocolate.

Izumo: Oh! Thank you! I knew I was gonna get some, but actually gettin’ it feels much better!

Ran: (Nice! Looks like he’s happy with it.)

Ran: I gave the rest of the Red Club obligatory chocolates before I came here, but…

Ran: Who knew that everyone was THAT popular?

Izumo: Ahh, yeah. Did Yata-kun get surrounded by girls again this year?

Ran: Yeah, Kamamoto-kun got him out of the fray though.

Izumo: Hahaha, I can see that happening.

Ran: (I wonder what Kusanagi-san did with the chocolates that the other girls gave him? I do hate myself for thinking negatively of it though…)

⊳ Choice: Just ask him about it

Ran: Um, Kusanagi-san? Izumo: Hmm? What’s up? Ran: Um… There’s something I’d like to ask. Did you not get chocolates from anyone else? Ran: I mean, I thought you’d be one to get loads of them… Izumo: Oh, well, ‘bout that…

⊳ Choice: Don't ask him about it

Ran: (It feels kinda bad to ask him about that.) Ran: (I’m interested to hear about it, and I did give him my chocolates…) Izumo: Why do you look so uneasy? Did somethin’ happen? Ran: Oh, err… Izumo: Tell me? I won’t get mad. Promise. Ran: Well, actually… I was just curious if you got any other chocolates aside from mine. Izumo: I see, so that’s what’s botherin’ you.

Izumo: You’re my lover, so any other chocolates I receive from others wouldn’t matter.

Izumo: Though, I did reject anyone who tried. So, c’mon, don’t look so down. Chin up, yeah?

Ran: !!!

Ran: (I can’t believe he did that…)

Ran: Sorry… for doubting you.

Izumo: Don’t worry ‘bout it. ‘Sides, it’s my fault for not reassuring you ‘bout it earlier. Sorry ‘bout that.

Ran: No, no. It’s not something you should apologize for.

Izumo: No, it was my duty to do so. I’ll just have to do better to build your trust in me from now on.

Izumo: Look forward to White Day, you hear? I’ll buy you anythin’ you fancy.

»» ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♔◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ««

Next Scene: Cornered?

[jams-sims]

DIDNT I SAY THE ONE FUCKING THING I NEEDED FROM THIS SHOW WAS FOR THEM TO STAY A FAMILY AND YOU FUCKING TAKE IT FROM MEEEE

Miri just thinks it for a day she gonna get to go home to her papas. But not anymore and its gonna break my heart when she ask for food Misaki cant fucking make.

Or that she ask to go back to her papas and shes told no. Or when she sneaks out to find them and they have to reject her cause its no longer safe.

[darling-wendy]

episode 10 had to happen

(i.e. Kazuki and Rei had to lose Miri so they could properly choose her)

In my last meta post I said this: [I could write a whole screed about how ep 10 was a necessary--at least a highly valuable--story beat, but this post is already very long. Some other time, perhaps. ]

It's time!

Misaki coming back for Miri in episode 10 is a plot point that I've seen get a lot of dislike—and even hate—from fans of the series. Emotionally, I get it. The sweet, chaotic order of the family we'd come to know and love ends up abruptly upended and all for a character that was already disliked. But I've always maintained that it was necessary, for multiple reasons. The obvious one is the in-universe rationale: the organisation—Suwa Shigeki specifically—has taken note of Miri and the fact that she's apparently been adopted by Rei.

(One thing that took me a couple watches to realise was that Shigeki had to have pre-arranged for someone to go tail Kazuki and Miri at the supermarket before he messaged for Rei to return. After Ogino splits off from Rei near the end of episode 8, we see him go to Yadogiri and give Kyu the above photo. That was from earlier in the episode.)

This is an active, looming threat to her life. In order to get ahead of it, Kyu contacts Misaki so she can take Miri away. The fact that Shigeki was already interested enough to have a dossier created is precisely why it doesn't work—it's too paltry an offering for such a ruthless and single-minded individual. We already saw him have the romantic partner of one of his men, Kaji Satoru, be brutally killed as collateral damage. But something had to be attempted and it wasn't a terrible idea.

The other reason is displayed at the very end of episode 11. Narratively, for the Kurusuwa family to be real, they have to choose each other and fight to keep each other.

In episode 1, the three of them cross paths of the first time in the form of Miri running into the special lift and getting herself right in the middle of their hit, making it chaotic and messy and nearly getting killed in the process. Kazuki uses her as an excuse to get out of the building before the police arrive, and he takes her back tot heir place because there's no other choice for them in the moment. At home, they find out that their mark was her bio dad.

In episode 2, they find out that Miri's mother sent her away because she doesn't want to raise her anymore. They try to get info out of Miri about her mother so they can send her back, but she's too little to be of help. They then resort to "slyly" asking Kyu (drawing his suspicions in the process lol). While they're there, they end up accepting a job that they ultimately end up taking Miri along with. It's a terrible decision and a whole shit show. The job implodes, Miri and Kazuki are almost killed, Kyu is pissed at them. But they get the info they need about Misaki's whereabouts.

In episode 3, they set out to send Miri back to her mother they way they have been scheming to do since she stumbled into their path. Despite their previous stance on Miri, Rei surprisingly (?) shows reluctance to send her back and Kazuki clearly isn't ecstatic to be doing it either. But it's the "right" thing to do, so off they go. While Rei is embracing the idea of being a parental figure to Miri for the first time, Misaki is— quite predictably—rejecting Miri when Kazuki shows up. So, Miri is effectively abandoned and orphaned by her two legal parents, leaving her in the care of the two guys who killed her father. And, like a lot of things, Rei and Kazuki don't really talk about it.

"For three?" Rei asks.

"For three," Kazuki confirms.

"Got it."

And that's it. This child falls into their laps, they make a single failed attempt to give her to a relative, and then for the next six episodes, we watch them try to shape themselves into becoming her parents. It's easy to get sucked into the story and forget (or at least not actively think about) the fact that they didn't deliberately adopt this child (or birth her, the way Kazuki's mind has gone the extra mile to implant lol) and that they ostensibly didn't want her at the start. Then episode 10 happens and the reality check comes.

By this point, they want to keep Miri and they initially argue with Misaki about her motives and her timing. But there really is nothing else to be done except capitulate and give Miri up. They have to let her go. It hurts, but it also gives weight and meaning to when they ultimately resolve to be a family for good. The second time around, it involves actually getting out of hitman work, which was something they hadn't felt moved to do when Miri simply ended up with them the first time.

I know another part of the reason some people don't like this plot point is the pacing, that they get her back one episode after giving her up, but that's never bothered me 🤷🏽‍♀️ Shigeki was always going to escalate the situation into triple homicide and I personally think that a whole episode of 'Miri hangs out with Misaki, oblivious to her change in living arrangements, while Rei and Kazuki sulk and pine' would be dragging the separation out for the sake of it. Their depression and misery and regression, down to Rei finally giving up and deciding to head back to Shigeki, is more than enough for me.

I'm aware that some people also don't like it because it bring Misaki back just to kill her off in the next episode and, controversially (??) I'm fine with that too. Not in a vindictive 'I hate Misaki' kind of way, just purely in a 'it raises the stakes and also permanently ties up a loose end' kind of way.

[regarding-stories]

Raw and merciless: A Girl on the Shore

(Normally I would accompany a post by adding GIFs to break up text, but for media not that popular or that haven't been made into anime, that's hard to do.)

Trigger warning: Not so much for my post, but for the book itself. It contains very explicit (yet censored) allusions to sex acts, but beyond that it also features a lot of emotional cruelty, suffering, loss, and depression, and, to top it off, violence. This is not an easy book.

(Also, I'll completely spoil the story.)

"A Girl on the Shore" is a manga story contained in two volumes describing an unfolding "relationship" between Isobe and Koume, two students in the last year of middle school/junior high in a rural community. It's neither romantic nor wholesome in any way, it's probably best described as an unflattering portrayal of human nature, sexuality, emotionally damaged people, and relationships built between such people.

The art style itself is amazing in its detail. It has a very unfiltered view of people, portraying a wide range of body shapes and looks. People are not manga-cute or manga-attractive, they look like actual people. Koume is pretty in her own way but her freckles and face make her look, well, like a girl in middle school, still like a child in some ways. But she's just a stand-out character among many - you see weak jawlines and all the other features so rarely featured on average, doughy faces, different body shapes, and many adults look especially unflattering. But seldom does manga look this real.

In many manga, they have to tell you who is who by hairstyles and accessories, and tell you who is attractive and who is not because of the lack of visual detail. This manga may not be photo-realistic but it captures something about the faces and bodies of people that makes it easy to distinguish them and memorable and enables us to form our own impressions of them. Visually, it already is a work of art because of this, even if it decides to play the unflattering camera, hard.

But given the subject matter, this is not surprising. This is a story that looks at people when they don't want to be looked at, refusing to look away. We are basically uncensored observers to what goes down, directly to the actions, and indirectly pointed at the emotions behind them. There's a certain complicity in this closeness, and I was frankly surprised how immediate and unflinchingly the manga itself portrayed intercourse. Even though I had read a synopsis, I didn't expect this at all.

The basic plot is that Koume rejected Isobe's confession that happened after he moved to town and they were in the same class. Koume chased after older Misaki lately who has the reputation of a "player." Which is fully justified as we are told (but thankfully not shown) that Koume gave Misaki a blowjob only to be rejected by him a day after (which we are shown) in a way that was very humiliating and emotionally jarring, displaying the full extent to which he abused her feelings and hopes.

Koume then encounters Isobe again and decides to simply have sex with him at his home. (His parents are practically never home.) This develops into a "relationship" where both will have lots of intercourse with each other but she forbids him to kiss him, keeping that particular distance. Reading their post- or pre-coitus dialogues can be jarring, because they say such hurtful things to each other, often very casually, as if they meant nothing.

There is this odd emotional interplay between them that betrays that some love is still arising between them. While they often talk facing away from each other, you will find scenes where they obviously exchange a cuddle or sleep facing each other, portraying the gradual change between them. A relationship "designed" by Koume to be emotionless is anything but.

The cruel thing is how this plays out, though. Koume starts to look for ways for expressing her growing feelings to Isobe and trying to help him heal in her own, helpless, unexperienced ways. At the same time, Isobe deals with his feelings by starting to push Koume away, intensifying the sexual experience through crossing more and more boundaries, and ultimately pushing her out of his life.

We learn why Isobe is so broken. His brother committed suicide but it looked like an accident, and his family pretends that was the case, especially since Isobe deleted the suicide note he left. But this also means he carries this burden alone, increasingly isolated from and abandoned by his parents who brought him to this community, only to be shunned by not being part of it, his brother becoming a shut-in and committing suicide, and finally spiraling more and more himself without anybody intervening.

The violence of conformity turns into physical violence several times. "Baseball guy" (I forgot his name) basically wants to bully him away from Koume, which he has a longstanding crush on, but he also beats him up after Isobe provokes him. This all culminates in an escalation in front of the teachers as Isobe tries to pretend nothing happened where both fall down the central staircase of the school. But this is also an image for the violence inherent in the community itself, with its local bullies of all kinds who harass the outsiders.

Isobe in turn blames the bullies, and we never know if rightfully so, to have basically caused the death of his brother. (I question his ability to actually identify the actual bullies at that point of his mental unraveling.) His ultimate fate seems to be determined by his obsession with his brother. He concocts and carries out a plan where he traps two of the local bullies and beats the shit out of them after having used a taser on them, also leaving them to be found by the local police with the weed they had on them. The last thing we see of Isobe is that the police catches up with him, just as he seemingly seems to have found something to look forward to. He looks like he awaited them with some feeling of elation. It's a really odd scene which, I think, really calls Isobe's mental state into complete question.

There's also an odd love triangle in the mix, because Isobe found a memory card on the shoreline containng photos of an attractive girl taking pictures of herself. As Koume's feelings develop she tries to delete these pictures from his computer, only to lead to a threatening outburst from him to her. This unreal girl in turn becomes a thing of obsession, in spite of how unreal she is to them. He directs feelings to her, and Koume feels threatened by her, and yet we never meet her. She's an unreal ghost. Until the end.

Their mutual story ends with Koume encountering a seemingly happy Isobe, a quite shocking sight for the reader as well. He found the girl and asked her for her LINE, and is quite convinced she will go out with him. He's happily crushing on her, and he rejects Koume's confession as "too late." As Isobe is arrested shortly after we never learn his ultimate fate. We find however a two year older Koume who maybe manages to let down some of her emotional distance at the insistent probing of her boyfriend.

It all adds up to a story about broken people. There's ba"se"ball guy" and Koume's best friend, Keiko, IIRC. Keiko is naturally tall, with an elongated upper body, but in spite of standing out, she has heart set on "baseball guy" who is the shorty of the class, and he's suffering for it. Keiko knows he's in love with Koume but still forces a relationship on him, but in the final scene we learn he would basically still leave her at the drop of a hat if Koume said the word. This is the mildest kind of relationship we see.

We also see a lot of use and abuse. Koume uses Isobe, Isobe uses Koume. Misaki and his friends abuse young girls that they lure in, plying them with weed and alcohol and manipulating their desire to be cool and grownup. "Baseball" guy is friends with them, but they still tease him, putting in question what kind of relationship actually exists. He also uses them to threaten Isobe, maybe partially setting off his hatred for them. Koume in turn narrowly escapes date rape after feeling sick from alcohol, showing just how predatory Misaki is. A Misaki she only turned back to after not knowing how to deal with all the rejection from Isobe.

If you start to wish anything might work out for these people, you will suffer. But our protagonists are existing on a mental health spectrum, and they will act accordingly. In a sense their actions are predetermined by their traumas, not by themselves. And while Misaki and his gang set themselves up for being hated, there's really no elation at seeing them beat up - all it left me with was seeing how deeply Isobe by then had fucked up his own life for no gain at all. The violence he returns will not rectify anything, it's not some form of righteous punishment, as much triggered by trauma as it is, it's just more abuse.

The author's depiction of how trauma acts on us is, in my opinion, accurate. It falls in line with an increasing number of works of art that seem to express how people struggle with mental health issues in a culture (depicted as, how can I know?) unprepared to deal with it. I have said this many times when facing with the actions of some characters in Japanese manga and anime - these people belong in therapy (like here and here, for example). They just keep repeating futile defense mechanisms and perpetuate trauma.

In the end, do we really get an end to this story? Isobe goes from being used to running away from any kind of love to violence to living in full blown delusion. There could not have been a happy end in store for him. After all, how on Earth could the unnamed "girl on the shore" have dealt with his massive trauma should a relationship ensue? It's a moment of basking in momentary acceptance. But this won't cure long-standing mental illness. One thing going right will not cure depression. Isobe's trajectory is probably unchanged, and having a criminal record won't improve it. His rejection of Koume seems cruel, though some may feel it's justified by her actions. I think how you see this part is heavily dependent on which of the hurts on display relates most to your own experience. In this sense there's no right or wrong to the scene, it's just how it unfolds - and something rather logical for how Isobe seems to be put together.

The mystery unsolved in the series is Koume. Having your heart broken by somebody you have a crush on is hurtful. Having it done like Misaki does is a world of hurt. But Koume's actions betray deeper problems with life than we know reasons for. Isobe's story is played out for us, put in front of us. It's unclear why Koume has issues with distance and boundaries, why she is suddenly willing to drop all pretenses at dignity. Over the course of the story Koume changes, is changed by her feelings - she is trying to find ways to alleviate Isobe's problems but she can't get access to him. She's also a coward at times, writing letters and planning actions but not following through.

But I'm not sure it matters if she's a coward. Isobe started rejecting her before she could even act on her feelings. She's facing an increasing uphill struggle to express them when she has no experience expressing them. Maybe the kiss with her boyfriend is also a sign of normalization, a sign she can overcome a trauma. She tells him she likes, loves him. We have no way of telling how honest or close to her feelings that is. It's really hard to tell. But if she feels it and does it, she worked through something to get there, especially considering how things are left with Isobe at the end.

In a sense this is her story and yet we know so little about her inner world in comparison, she always seems to seek something from others. Isobe is put on a psychological display rack, yet when the story features Koume alone it's a bog-standard life, and people call her shallow all the time. But I think she's anything but.

Also, her willingness to show up with love for someone acting toward her like Isobe betrays her strange acceptance of suffering abuse for love. She's of course no innocent, she also enacts abuse on others. But there is something there. An attempt at a horse trade - "I let you and you love me. I give you and you love me." Maybe that's why Isobe calls her manipulative, but it points to a deep lack.

One of Koume's most revealing admissions is that she is willing "to become someone kind" for Isobe. She doesn't see herself as kind, her view of herself seems stark and a cynical kind of honest. In fact, there are strong implications that self worth is a massive problem to her, and hence how willing she is to cross boundaries - whether it's orally pleasing Misaki or when it comes to letting Isobe have his way with her in the later stages of their relationship.

Koume seems willing to relinquish all boundaries for love, revealing a desperate hunger and willingness to trade for what she wants deep down. It's never revealed why. It seems that by the end of the story she reestablished those boundaries to be taken down in a more healthy way. Through intimacy instead of thrilling boundary-crossing. But before she gets there we see her return to her abuser, and I think Isobe can be classified to some extent as such as well - not only due to his threatening her, but also due to his willingness to disrespect her boundaries. He's abusing her feelings to get a thrill, refusing to let them grow when he encounters his own.

There's almost nothing she would in turn not do if push comes to shove, at least for a chance of love. This is also why she doesn't give in to Misaki in the end. There's simply nothing there and she (probably) recognizes that it's delusional to think otherwise, she just didn't know what to do in general - with her feelings. She fell back into a pattern but she also breaks the pattern in time before greater harm ensues.

Maybe that's why she can smile in the end. It's hard to believe, and frankly the ending is rushed. When the story moved ahead two years and left Isobe behind, I was completely lost. The story speeds towards a conclusion in one chapter, and frankly, I'm left skeptical to believe what unfolds. Is Koume giving in to her boyfriend or is she overcoming a trauma? Is she telling him she loves him because she can now express her feelings in a more timely manner? Or is she again resorting to some lighter form of the same?

Of course she's also an abuser in the story. She refuses to kiss Isobe or express positive feelings towards him, and this in turn is part of what leads to all the boundary-crossing. There's no way for the affection part to grow because for a good while Koume tramples around on it. And then Isobe resorts to all kinds of fetishes, leading to a use/abuse relationship.

I came into this manga with a description that seriously included a description saying "friends with benefits." But this would be probably one of the most depressing friendships ever. When Koume actually wants to act like a friend towards Isobe, he pushes her out for good. When she starts to care about the burden he carries, he moves farther and farther away from her. When she says she's actually willing to listen, he begins to seriously withdraw. Yes, Koume has caught Isobe hurt. But it's Isobe who's unwilling to do get closer to anybody. What did he expect the kiss to do he was always begging for?

Isobe's rejection of Koume almost seems tit-for-tat, and her tears are genuine. It's odd that she says she wants the unhappy Isobe back, and in sense he was convenient to her. When Isobe calls her a manipulator, he's right. But that only describes the beginning of their relationship. When Koume started to attempt to bridge the gap, Isobe erected all the walls he could. If he accuses her of being too late... He gave her no chance to be in time. I think it's clear that she sees through part of his delusion, and rightfully so. But I also think that just loving Isobe probably wouldn't have healed him. The minute Isobe "smelled" love he was already withdrawing. Trying to reach someone is not manipulation, and the manipulation she might be guilty of is probably outweighed by her willingness to reconsider how she feels. But dropping her defenses just triggered his.

Of course I could be wrong and the way Koume treated Isobe initially was so emotionally jarring, it just kicked him down the stairs further. It's hard to say. I still think the way they react to love is the telling part. She's willing to change, he doubles down on his path into the abyss. The fact that she's imperfect, sometimes a coward, selfish... makes her human. She's not meant to be a perfect vessel of unconditional love. She's a person with lots of issues, and for that, she's probably doing fine - or rather, eventually, the best she can.

"A Girl on the Shore" is pretty raw, emotionally. It's cruel. Characters are mean to each other in pretty shocking ways, and the situation they find themselves in is also cruel. It's also, in my book, an unfinished story. It seems more interested in driving the train against the wall in the last few chapters than in giving us well-paced resolution. Then takes one on.

The reason I feel so ambiguous about the ending is not that I feel it doesn't fit. It just presents too few data points to tell what is what. If Koume really loves her boyfriend, we don't know. Should we just take it at face value? We missed two years, dropped one protagonist. We're reeling. And before you stop reeling, the story ends. In this sense, this is a problem of pace. And maybe the author simply sucks at writing "the happy part."

I'm not sure what the final chapter was meant to do or who it is for. It's like another story cut short, or a development rushed to present it, but it itself is packed in its own awkwardness it's unwilling to unpack properly, and to top it off, combined with "baseball guy's" ... "confession." It calls into question the ability to grow when it simultaneously reveals that after two years of being a couple nothing has grown between those two other characters deemed good enough to not throw it away on a whim. This weird juxtaposition increases the ambiguity I feel towards the end.

The ending feels so unfinished I looked for clues of Isobe in it. I even projected him into the kissing couple in the background, even though I know it's unlikely to have taken this turn. That's how much I felt the lack of resolution.

Where does that leave us? For its own imperfections, this manga is a work of art. It may not be a positive one, and where it is positive, it may unconvincing, but it is transmitting quite a bit of emotion, and creates quite a cast of realistic characters, even if they go through stereotypical actions and archetypical roles at times. It's an emotional drama and a psychological study, and I guess it doesn't really present us with a moral, more with an observation with very few filters in place. The reader is sometimes observer, sometimes voyeur, sometimes hoping for the characters. But in the end, you have to let it go. You can't solve it. Is that a message? It's at least... art.