#refusing pity

[arisushanti]

me when i feel left out for no reason so i just decide to Stop Caring

[lotus-pear]

free will is drawing ur two favorite characters together and making them gay

[harbingersecho]

but the creed of the seamstress is that you're pretty in pieces

[ffcrazy15]

"Oh so when James Kirk refuses to believe in no-win scenarios it's 'changing the conditions of the test' and 'commendable original thinking,' but when I, Bradward Boimler, can't accept the possibility of failure and retake the Kobiyashi Maru sixteen times–"

[uncanny-tranny]

The sheer pity party some alloromantics expect of aromantics is really funny to me. The expectation is that we ought to feel broken or afraid that we will never be worthy of anything if not for a romantic relationship, but as the years go on, I've been so much less inclined to feel those ways.

People expect aromanticism to feel like a prison, and I think that's looking at it wrong. My aromanticism never imprisoned me - amatonormativity did. Being aromantic taught me that I can never and will never be "made whole" through romantic attraction. Amatonormativity teaches that to be whole is to be pursued, to be in love, to be possessed, essentially. Being aromantic has freed me of those expectations because I had to break those chains in order to truly understand what will make my life worth living.

I've been finding more and more that being allo will never appeal to me - I don't give a flying fuck about allo being "normal," and frankly if being normal means being allo, I simply just won't be normal.

[hamletshoeratio]

"A strong queen is just what this country needs!"

The Irish who know the queen in question as the famine queen:

[angy-grrr]

I can't believe Horikoshi decided to parallel togachako with shigaraki and deku, but also with kacchan and izuku, because there are multitudes into their relationship.

Ochahimi has this obvious textual side going on for a long time that its meant to be seen along Shigaraki Tomura and Midoriya Izuku: a hurt villain and a hero who feels the need to stop the pain. Two sides of the same coin. Will they take their hand? How could they reach out? Is there any hope for the rejected? We have different scenes in which its clear Uraraka and Midoriya have this idea of saving someone who is hurt even if they are a villain, the flashbacks of their conversation before the war, but surprisingly Ochako doesn't think of it as much as Izuku in this final battle -clearly stated, is when Himiko is giving her own blood to save her and explaining how she felt like her heart was floating when Uraraka touched her. The flashback reminds us of Izuku talking about how "maybe theres no way to avoid a battle, but I cant ignore what I saw deep inside him".

But Ochako isn't happy even if she got there, even is Toga tells her she made her happy. She's tired, sad, and desperate to stop her when she cant even move.

Its difficult to analyze Izuku's emotions, but once again, we can try to work with what we currently have! As far as we know, Izuku isn't really having that much of a conflict in terms of if he should save Tenko or not -the problem was external. What would the OFA users think? He challenged them by staying true to his inner core, and they accepted him, but we don't see him struggling with the idea of him reaching out to Tenko in itself like Ochako, who actively tried to forget about Himiko.

I interpret his flashbacks to his conversation with Ochako as a reminder of the person behind the villain, because he is also feeling something else: anger. Izuku was really hurt during this battle both physically and, I would argue mostly, mentally. As he himself said, he can't forgive Shigaraki, just try to stop the crying child from hurting, and the reminder of Ochako's own goals and words are a reminder of his own intentions; lets not forget, moments later he took control after seeing Katsuki's dead body, he attacked Shigaraki in ways that would cause severe damage -like in the middle of his chest, causing a hole.

Uraraka doesn't actually try to hurt Toga, but use her martial arts training in order to both dodge and tackle her, so she can hear what she has to say. I re-read the chapters around Katsuki's revival, because I was wondering, "does Izuku remember this before or after he locked eyes with Bakugou?", and the answer is after*. The other time he thought about it was before leaving the togatsuchako battlefield, when Ochako encourages him to not worry and go get Shigaraki.

So, what I mean by this is, Ochako Uraraka and Izuku Midoriya are not the same person, and they don't feel the same way for their main villains, just like Tomura Shigaraki and Himiko Toga don't feel the same for their main heroes, and are not the same. Izuku actually feels resentment and anger for Shigaraki, he cant forgive him, but he also doesn't want to kill and punish like that; he is a savior, if he has to fight he will, but in his heart he knows what he prefers' maintaining peace, and help the ones who are vulnerable. He sees the villain, and he sees the child who grew up abused and sad; he is a sweet boy, ofc he would try to stop the crying somehow. His conflict with him now, Im guessing, is that he doesn't really feel like he actually saved him -after all, he disappeared after the last punch, and he still considered himself the leader of the league who wanted to destroy everything. He gave him his autonomy back and tried his best, but his last words and request feel like a completely different "task" than what he envisioned; it makes him think, about what heroes and villains even mean in their society, and who gets to decide those things. How can he continue with Shigaraki's legacy?

In another hand, Ochako's conflict don't come from her own moral compass, but from what she is supposed to do; before she even saw sadness in her face she thought positive things about her -she has a cute smile, she is really honest with her feelings, and isnt scared to be open with others, and she envies that. She envies the villain Himiko Toga, and relates to her, and feels connected to her. So her pain feels even more personal when it shouldn't; she isnt her family, she is someone who has tried to hurt her and her friends over and over while being so happy about it. She is weird!

Besides the thoughts about society and who helps both heroes and villains, which are really important for her character and goals, the other side of their problem is... the way Ochako was refusing to see and accept her own weirdness. Interacting with Himiko was chaotic, confusing, and left her full of doubts about herself and what she wants, because isnt she even weirder if she wants to be more like her? How can she admit those thoughts out loud? Anyone would agree that behavior is disgusting, but... she can't hate her. She can't try to punch her, or hurt her, and she never was able to no matter how much she tried to convince herself this is the only way.

Her conversation with Izuku opened her mind and heart to start accepting what she truly wants to do to Himiko instead of what she has to do as a hero. What does she want? To stop her. Her hurt. Her tears. To make her happy, and to keep her alive. She wants to see everyone happy, to get peace.

This is why her conflict is both related to Shigaraki and Deku, and Katsuki and Izuku; in one aspect its about morality, heroism, villainy and society as a whole. Himiko will question how things works constantly, and she can't ignore it. And at the same time, there's an emotional side to it; she has multiple confrontations with her, where miscommunication and holding back hurts them both. She pushes herself to be more like others, but it doesn't feel right anymore; Himiko makes her see her own self hatred, and jealousy and care grow more and more. Why can't see just do the right thing to maintain peace?

Just like Izuku was surprised by Katsuki's tears during their second fight, Ochako gets concerned by Himiko's, when she interpreted Uraraka's words as her rejecting her love -and therefore, whole self. Is not until the second war that she even realizes Toga actually loves her in the same way she loves Izuku, being a little clueless herself.

It doesnt sit right with her to do the "normal" thing, because she isn't normal at all; she thinks about making a villain happy, and how lovely her smile is. Her honesty and openness to be unapologetically herself, no matter how much others try to push her down or change her attitude; she hurts others, she knows that's wrong and agrees with that generalized sentiment... but hate her for it? She tries to do it, but it doesn't work. Inside of her heart, she knows what her emotions are telling her, and its not anger.

This is messy, my head hurts, but Im hoping I can write something better and longer in the future. I guess it makes more sense that drawing of Shigaraki, Izuku, Ochako, Himiko and Katsuki all together. I always wondered, if this is about heroism and society, Katsuki shouldn't be there, and if it is about emotions and rivalries, then it would be Tomura.

If you read this far, thank you for your time, and apologies for the confusion the writing could have caused you.

*My internet is going really slow, so im not re-reading all of the chapters after Izuku's arrival in the battlefield, so I cant 100% say this is the very first time he does remember it. Once im able to, or someone checks it for me -wether im right in my statement or not-, I'll edit it to be accurate with the material.

[silverskye13]

In which there is talk of the tournament.

[silvery-bluish]

34 w/ arisone :) for the whump prompt

prompts from here

trips. falls. catfiend fight fallout spills out of my arms.

Contents: 34 - "You promised not to leave." In the immediate aftermath of that one time Ricardo tried to solo the Catastrofiend.

Wordcount: 852

Relationships: Chargestep, ft Arsinoe. But this is TECHNICALLY in the limbo of them having kissed but not talked about it for like a year.

Warnings: Blood? Gore implied, but I don't go too hard on the descriptions of it.

There's blood on their hands. It's not something they think they'll ever get used to, something they can't stand the thought of getting used to, bright red. Like spilled paint. Never getting used to the feeling of holding someone's organs into their body, of pleading with deities they don't even believe in, anyone who will listen, that help will get there faster.

"D'd you see me?" Ricardo asks, and they almost laugh, because only he'd be worried about if they saw him fighting some…thing. Terrorbeast, creature, monster, they don't understand the Catastrofiend and it frightens them. Slick, sticky mind.

"Yeah I saw you," they say, and he grins at them, slumped in the alleyway. There's red in his teeth. "Stick with me, okay? That was impressive, but that was dumb, Ricardo, you--" almost died, but they aren't sure if it's an almost, because this is bad. Sentinel in their ear, telling them it's just a couple more minutes. To hold on.

"Nowhere else I'd rather stick," Ricardo says, and then, "You hurt your hand?"

You're not supposed to get blood in someone's open wound, but it'd mostly cauterized, and they were clean last time they got their blood checked. "I'm fine," they say, "I'm not the one who decided to fight the Catastrofiend one-on-one, Ricardo, what the fuck."

"Wasn't one on one," he's stubborn, brow furrowing. Eyes fighting to focus on them. Blood loss. Not… good. "I knew you were working on something."

"I wasn't going to leave you," they say, almost offended. You don't leave a teammate behind. Even if he's doing something practically suicidal.

"Promise?" Lucidity back, for a moment, and they nod. How can they do anything else?

"Yeah," they say, and they mean it. Had meant it before, but they're freer now. They get to choose when they leave a situation. And they won't leave a teammate behind again.

He smiles, and leans against them. Fuck, it's bad if someone goes unconscious, if they lose too much blood? Grasp for remembered percentages-- most people can lose fourteen percent of their blood without many adverse side effects. Past that… most people don't survive losing forty percent. So. Somewhere between fifteen and forty percent, and that's all they've got. His heart beats a fevered pitch against them, they can feel his pulse because they've basically got their hands in his guts.

They still can't feel past the static to get a better bead on him, even now. Is he going unconscious, or just going quiet?

"Hey," they say, jostling him slightly. "Ricardo?"

"Hmm," he just hums against them. "Stay with me?"

"I said I would. You stay with me. Don't you dare die on me, Ricardo Ortega."

"Yeah, trying not to."

Prying words out of him is slow, and it's all they can do to keep themself from panicking. But if they panic, they can't help him. So they shut it down, shove it in a box they'll deal with later. Not now.

Eventually, hands pry him out of their arms, their hands out of his stomach. They almost punch one of them, too, almost bite, vicious clawing until they realize these people are here to help, dressed in their EMT uniforms. Maybe it really had only been a couple of minutes.

It felt longer.

They get Ricardo up on a stretcher, real gauze and real professionals saying panicked, half-comprehended things to each other in low tones as Arsinoe watches. Blood bag hooked up to his arm nearly as soon as they get Arsinoe clear. Ricardo blinks slow at them, and that's all that matters.

"You hurt too?" one of the paramedic asks, a young woman with cropped short hair and Ricardo's blood on her arm, from-- probably from having to pry them off him, really. They startle, hadn't thought any of them would talk to them. Sidestep doesn't do doctors. Sidestep doesn't do paramedics, either.

"I'll be fine," they say, brushing her off. It doesn't hurt. They can deal with it later.

"We need to go. Do you want to ride in with Charge, then?" she asks, and they do, is the thing. But the idea of locking themself in a box with medical professionals, and having to explain why they won't let them touch their injured hand, or why they won't go into the hospital itself. She's worried about their hand, wants the chance to get a better look at it, and they can't.

They know the paramedics don't want to cause them harm. They know that. But they can't make themself believe it, is the thing.

He's fighting them, some, enough to get the oxygen mask they strap to his face back off. Like he can sense them faltering in the doorway of the ambulance. "You promised not to leave," not as loud as he was probably trying to make it, but he's… not in great shape.

They steel themself. "Only as far as the hospital," they say, firmly, and when they climb in, him grasping to hold their bloody hand in his is almost enough to offset the slam of the metal doors behind them.

[localclownbaby]

ciel who changes the terms of the contract so that sebastian can have other contractors to eat and then gets so jealous he almost has an asthma attack

[blood-orange-juice]

ok so ive never properly played genshin and don’t plan to but i know a bit about it’s lore and characters and i think it’s really neat. however i have thousands of hours on ffxiv. on that note please explain why graha and childe are similar. i only have very basic knowledge on childe and i gotta know

Fellow ffxiv enjoyer. <3

(anyone asking me about G'raha has a 100% chance of getting a wall of text and I'm not apologising for that. enjoy your wall of text)

I'm not entirely sure I'm not a case of a person with a hammer to whom everything resembles a nail, but I do think they are the same archetype.

Sweet characters who could have been perfect sidekicks (who still are perfect sidekicks) but listened to too many epic tales as kids and found themselves in a wrong place at a wrong time and now have to play a key role in some universe-changing story.

Both are defined mostly by their stubborness, they are not very suitable for the roles they've chosen and fail over and over again until they do it somewhat right (barely).

No matter how badass they look, their power is not their own, G'raha is a glorified technician of someone else's miracle and little else than a living key, Childe wields an art of old Khaenri'ah without fully understanding it. It's all borrowed from someone else who needed them to achieve a goal.

They do look badass, but mostly because they larp. I'm honestly not sure which one enjoys theatrics more.

Civilisations that created the magic they use specialised in perversion of the natural order of things. They try to use it in relatively noble ways and mostly hurt themselves but the flavour is there.

Both are unbelievably tragic and both somehow make their stories seem almost lighthearted. Complete absense of self-pity. I think that's what makes them both so charming, it's a rare trait.

Both have an incredible capacity for loyalty and love and an incredibly twisted view of what relationships look like. "I'll cross time and space for you, I'll die for you, I'll build a city for you, I'll live for you but please don't ask me to share my plans." "I'll sacrfice my own health and respect of my subordinates to keep my brother's happyness, probably my humanity too, but don't expect me to actually interact with him."

Both have something that looks like self-sacrificial tendencies bordering on suicidality while being, if we are honest, a self-serving trait (partially born out of low self-esteem but still self-serving). They want to live in an old myth and sacrificing oneself is a perfectly reasonable price for that.

Huge egos. And I mean Huge Egos. It's a bit less obvious in Graha's case but I know the type, you see guys like that in PhD programs a lot.

Huge dorks. Both of them.

Both are stuck somewhere between human and non-human and, hmm... their ability to remain human is the most astonishing quality of both. By all accounts, neither should have. They somehow did.

Both are incapable of lying to the point where a third of each fandom headcanons them as autistic. Both are somewhat all right with tricking people without technically lying (although Childe had more practice).

Both are secretive because no one would understand anyway.

FF XIV is a kinder story, so it's easy to overlook, but technically G'raha is a case of body horror, accepts the role of a villain for a while and hides from the player way too much. Hmmm... Where else have I seen it. Hmm. Oh right. That ginger guy from Genshin.

Minor things:

Both are little shits and enjoy annoying the hell out of people they dislike.

Abysmally bad fashion sense. There should be a name for this particular type and level of bad. I don't think I've seen this anywhere else.

And then there's the colour scheme. Red+black+white+blue and red+black+light grey+blue (it's an "anime magician" color profile, I think. black-red-white as alchemy colours + blue as pure magic/something elemental). Childe doesn't quite fit but still the combination is rare.

They way they talk. Dear gods. Who the hell talks like that.

Here's where the similarities end.

One is morally grey but ultimately a good guy (technically. I think the point of ShB was that Emet and G'raha are almost the same), another is a morally grey but still (kind of) a bad buy.

At every step of his story Graha is surrounded by people who love or at least appreciate him, Childe is pretty much on his own and surrounded by people who are either shitty or clueless.

G'raha is kind. Truly and astonishingly kind, in a doomed world he chooses to love everything he touches. Silly little priest of hope. Of all the things he has done this is the most wondrous, I think. Not the time travel, not the city he founded, just being able to remain kind after everything that happened to him.

Childe is... well, Childe. I think he is a deeply decent person (to the point of having a visceral distaste for any kind of unfairness) and he's idealistic but he's indifferent more than he is kind. Empathy usually develops only when someone has shown the person empathy first and, as far as we know, he didn't have much of that in his life.

Also G'raha builds things. Childe breaks things. Childe breaks pretty much everything he touches.

One is an archeologist and a mage and another is a warrior.

I think these differences are caused mostly by the settings they were put into. Childe raised in Sharlayan would have been a very different person. G'raha trained by a voidsent and shipped off to Garlean military would look very much like Childe.

G'raha also has a beautiful character development arc. I love his ShB role. He has this huge ego in the raids and is insufferable and then we see an older and wiser him with a bunch of actual achievements and a bad case of impostor syndrome (trying to do anything real always humbles a person, we all know that real world is held together by sticks and scotch tape. honestly, this change alone is beautiful). And he gets to be an actual hero when he abandons all hope to be Important and resigns to die as a nameless villain if it saves everyone and spares his loved ones from heartbreak.

Childe's character development is yet to happen and I'm not hoping for much but we'll see.

The only difference that definitely isn't created by setting is that G'raha is naturally manipulative. In a kind-hearted way and mostly for the sake of better larp but he isn't that straightforward. Childe is spectacularly blunt for all his mysteriousness.

As a bonus, they both compare main characters to stars, but in completely different ways.

"No doubt your heroism will be the star by which I chart my course," says G'raha to the WoL.

Childe mentions the morning star, which is, of course, pretty and a good companion to a lonely traveler, but also it's not a celestial body you can chart your course by.

It's a guy whose signature weapon is called "Polar Star" and his first artifact set was full of nautical themes, so I think he fully understands what he's saying. "You are my friend but I won't change anything in my life for you."

So I don't think his story will be anything like G'raha's, his life took a different turn very long ago. I do think they used to be similar as kids, bookish boys who dreamed of adventure and being special. So it's fun to compare.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. <3

[curtain-caller]

It's time to meet Chai, the Head of Marketing at Vandelay Technologies, and self-proclaimed "King of Rock". No one really knows how he got this job with how annoying and demanding he is, not even Peppermint... And yet, his overconfident, playful demeanor is charming enough for him to get Vandelay's products flying off the shelves. Buy 1 deadly robot and get 20% off on a ticket to his concert at the Project Armstrong Festival!

Finally finished drawing everyone's favorite white boy! For his swapped design, I just kinda mish-mashed a bunch of his costume accessories together, threw on a bunch of V symbols and slapped on a bunch of red, orange and yellow until it passed the vibe check.

Bonus doodles below the cut:

[fallen-kingdoms-crk]

To pitiful vanilla : Does the orchid take away your soul jam ?

"..."

[A vine starts to inch towards you before Pitiful Vanilla quickly swats it away with a slight panicked look before looking at you with a seemingly forced smile]

[said Orchid looks very displeased with his actions]

"My, my... you're certainly a curious one! why don't we talk about something else? like... how you got here? how you feel?"

[twpsyn-who]

In a world where Marco didn't die yet still everyone but Annie joined the Survey Corps, Jean wouldn't notice when his feelings for Mikasa has faded and the ones for Marco began to bloom.

Not until they see the ocean for the first time. When Marco comes to him all excited, yelling 'Jean! Jean, look what I found!' before showing him a shell. But Jean's not paying attention to it, but to the way Marco's eyes were shining with excitement and happiness. Of how happy his best friend was, for the first time since a very long time. And Jean would think 'I wish he would smile more. It looks good on him'. Then he would think 'I wish I was the reason why he was smiling'.

Then Marco would take hold of his hand and put the shell in it before saying 'You should have it. The color brings out your eyes!' and that, that exact moment, would be the moment when Jean realizes that he has long stopped having romantic feelings for Mikasa. That all he wants is to be by Marco's side, only the two of them.

[greenerteacups]

To be completely honest I believe I'm done with Theo. There are many different points in a character's story where he can start any given type of a redemption arc but it will never happen for a character who believes that his shitty choices aren't truly his and that he IS already doing all he can. I'm all out of the benefit of the doubt on Theo's account.

Ps. I hope someone spits in Millicent Bulstrode's best cup of tea

Pps. Love you and your writing lots

"To be completely honest I believe I'm done with Theo" made me laugh because it reminded me of this bit from "The Insider":

“Right. I’ve had enough of this bloke,” announced Ron. “I think it’s far past time I saw less of him, to be honest.”

Like, Ronald Weasley would not have lasted two minutes in that conversation with Theo before he called him a bitch and took off to find Daphne. Emotionally turbulent sparring match over destiny and heritage? Nope. Eat my shorts, dude, you're just a whiny ass.

Which is not to say anything reductive about Ron. Ron's moral code is just as complex (and occasionally contradictory) as Draco or Theo's, but it's less forgiving. That gives him insight that Draco doesn't have, especially when it comes to questions of bravery and commitment, but also makes it hard for him to give Draco (or Theo) any slack. Ron would say: oh, your life is hard? Tough. If you wanted to do better, you would. Only Theo can really know if he can or will do better, and the thing is, Theo doesn't hang out with Ron much.

I was delighted by the spread of reactions there were to Theo's speech in that chapter. It ran the gamut from sympathy to grief to abject disgust. All of which interests me, and each of which is a well-justified response to a boy who refuses to make it easy for anyone to like him.

[blackbackedjackal]

I miss him so much.