#redoing old stuff pt 5

[pixeldistractions]

upcoming stories and plans and stuff

Hello, friends, who wants a long texty progress report?!?

Nobody? Well, you’re getting one anyway! 🤪

First, Thanksgiving is about to plow through everybody’s motivation for a week or two, right? Happy Turkey day to all who celebrate! 🦃 Then Christmas and New Year will be right behind it. 🎄☃️🎄 Let’s not set the bar too high, right?

In my noveling life, I have made exactly 800 words of progress on Miserable Ghost Story last month because my brain is stuck on Boxes and Squares instead. (B&S stories got about 12,000 words added, for a comparison.) Oops. I keep going back and forth on what to focus on first. MGS is a good little book, and if I could focus, it would be quick to finish and get out the door, but I’m just so damn obsessed with my B&S characters. My stupid brain writes what it wants to write about. 😖

And mostly, in writing, I feel like it’s a good idea to go where the energy wants to go. When a story is calling, it’s a lot easier to work on something that is calling than trying to force something that is not calling.

But I think also why I’m so obsessed with the story and getting through book 5 is because I feel like it’ll free up my brain a little to work on other things, both in sim stories and otherwise. There’s this mid-story climax point we’ve been building toward and we’re almost there!

So, plow ahead forward? Right? Right???

But wait…

Now I’m kind of picking at some things from book 1 that never got to be part of the blog version, and I want them to be. Some things that were part of old gameplay stories that I want to revise and expand.

Don’t redo old stories… don’t redo old stories… don’t redo old stories!!!

Except I kind of want to go back and redo old stories. 😂🤣😂🤣😵

I guess I’m a bit of a completionist. I know the blog version is not going to include everything from the novels—it could never—but it should include the important things. The things that develop characters and explain motives and maybe just a little bit of the absolutely precious fluff that deserves to be illustrated with sims, just because.

And I do intend to leave the blog version up when the novel version is published (because I’m an indie author and I do what I want!), so I want them both to be as full as they can be for their format.

Because, at the end of the day, this sims story version is here to please me, and please you guys, and it serves no other purpose than that, really. So, it would make me happy to go back and redo some of those earlier pre-story sections, like before even My Sweetheart. So I think I will.

Because I really do want to get back to Colette in #5.3 and she really does need to get laid! But funny enough, after her shock in #5.2 pt 10, then drafting Colette in #5.3, I felt like she was wanting to dig so much into her history of that time and the failure of that relationship. So I’ve been spending a lot of time in that era anyway.

So, a quick flashback story first??? (I said quick, but I didn’t say little. It’s not really very little. But with the writing done and grabbing a few select pictures, I think I can post it quick.)

The flashback story begins almost one year ago in story time, on Maria’s birthday. It’s an expansion/retelling of this gameplay post, which was their first real story on the blog (not as supporting characters), with Maria and Jordan in their flirty coworkers era, and Jordan and Colette in the last months of their quickly deteriorating togetherness. Then it also fills in the gaps in and around “my sweetheart #2” and what drove Jordan to decide to ultimately blow up his life.

As it stands, it’s about 10,000 words (I’m so so sorry! I promise they’re good ones? 😬😬😬) and will be split into 3 chapters of 4-6 parts each.

Some characters are super excited to be back in this era:

Look at her absolutely cheesing at this man! 😆

Girl, stop and get back to work! You’re not even getting a kiss out of him for another 8 months!

Others are not so happy to be back in this time of their life:

He’s like, “Why, oh god why are you doing this to meeeeee?!?!?”

So, coming soon. Unfortunately, I need to build something for the first part, but this is a real historical save point, so all their other houses and locations are ready to be filmed in.

[theporcelainhooded]

[galaxy-girls-universe]

Excerpt

An excerpt from my story-in-the-works: currently titled “Elia’s Journey”

“Wow, this house is creepy,” Elia said, a moving box in her hands. Elia and her family had just gotten to their new home, an old house that had belonged to Elia’s grandparents. The house was large, with peeling gray paint on the outside walls. Elia’s parents had both just got new jobs in the town, and so they decided to just pack up and move to the house.

“Elle, why don’t you go inside and start to explore,” her mother said, unpacking the car. “It’s been a few years since you’ve been here, it might look a little different.” Her mom, Mrs. Johnson, tossed her a set of keys. 

Elia took the keys and unlocked the front door. The inside was (luckily) in much better shape than the outside. There were huge windows that let in a lot of sunlight, so it wasn’t dark. Since Elia’s parents would both be working full time, and it was the beginning of summer vacation, Elia would be spending a lot of time at the house alone. 

She shifted the box in her arms and walked up the stairs. Her parents had told her that her room would be one of the old guest bedrooms. Elia vaguely remembered where it was, she knew what it looked like and that it was upstairs, so she decided to go find it. 

The bedroom was the second door on the right. The floorboards creaked as Elia walked over them. When Elia walked into the room, the first thing that she noticed was how dusty everything was. Her parents were hiring people to come in and redo the house soon anyway, but since Elia would have to sleep in that room that night, she would have to sleep on dusty sheets in a dusty room. 

Unpacking took almost no time. Elia didn’t have much to unpack besides her clothes, because her family had either donated stuff, or it would be getting to their house next week, when the moving van got there. 

“Elia, come downstairs, please!” her dad called from downstairs. Elia took one last look at her new room and went downstairs. Her parents were unpacking a few of the boxes that they had brought with them in the car. “Elle, your mom and I have to work tonight, so we’ll probably be home pretty late,” Elia’s dad said, giving her an apologetic smile. “You’ll be okay here by yourself?”

Elia didn’t exactly want to stay in the creepy house alone at night, but nevertheless, she replied, “Sure Dad, It’ll give me time to explore the house.” it wasn’t exactly a lie. She wanted to get used to the house, but maybe she could do that by exploring it. 

“Okay, thanks Elle,” her mom said. “We can have dinner here, before we go.” Elia’s parents walked toward the living room to unpack a few more boxes. A few hours later, after they all had dinner, her parents left for work, leaving Elia in the new house alone.

 Elia slowly walked upstairs. As she walked down the hallway, she passed her parents’ bedroom, the bathroom, the second guest bedroom, before walking right into a rope. It was thin and frayed, and hung from the ceiling. Right above her was what looked like a trapdoor. Looking closer, she realized that it wasn’t a trap door at all, but the entrance to an attic. Elia didn’t even know that her grandparents had had an attic.

Would it be smart to go up there, in the dark, by myself? Elle wondered to herself. The smart answer to that was no. So, naturally, she decided to explore it anyway. Elia pulled the rope, and a ladder, that looked like it hadn’t been used in years, came down at her feet. Like her bedroom, there was a layer of dust coating the ladder. I sure hope this is safe. She thought, while climbing up.

The floorboards of the attic creaked as she stepped over them. Looking around, Elia couldn’t see much of anything, except two cardboard boxes, sitting right in the middle of the room. One was fairly small, about the size of a notebook. Looking inside the box, Elia realized that it was a notebook, an old-fashioned notebook, that looked like it hadn’t been touched in years, much like everything else in the house. Elia picked it up and opened it, but it was too dark to read it in the dark attic. 

She put the book off to the side, and turned her attention to the other box. It was long, maybe about 5 feet in length. Opening the box, Elia was very confused. Inside was a long wooden staff, with a purple crystal on the top. That can’t be a real crystal, thought Elia, it would be worth a ton, it wouldn’t be sitting up here in the attic collecting dust. Picking up both the notebook and the staff, Elia made her way back to her bedroom. She closed the attic door, but left the rope dangling where it was, just in case she wanted to explore up there again. 

Back in her room, where there was a lot more light, Elia got a better look at the objects that she had retrieved from the attic. The staff had intricate, swirly designs on the wooden part, and the purple crystal seemed to glow, but it was probably just light reflecting through it. The staff was about Elia’s height when she stood up next to it. Sitting back down on her bed, Elia placed the staff next to her and picked up the book.

The notebook had yellowing pages, no doubt that it was very old. Elia opened the book. The first page had a note: “This journal belongs to Brielle Jones” followed by words that looked like gibberish to Elia. “Ot peek ym sterces” she read aloud. Elia didn’t know of any Brielle Jones, so she assumed that It had been left here many years ago by the old owners, the people who had owned the house before her grandparents. Flipping through the pages, she found more notes, some in English, some in the odd gibberish. Stopping on one page, Elia looked at the title of the entry. It read, “Use to get back to eht rehto dlrow” followed by four lines of gibberish, “ot teg kcab ot eht rehto dlrow / daer eseht sdrow duola / di ekil ot nruter / cigam eb ym ediug” 

Elia squinted at the words, and then tried her best to pronounce it. “Ot teg kcab ot eht rehto dlrow?” The lights in her room flickered off and then back on again. Elia stopped and glanced around the room. Probably just the bad electricity, she thought to herself. Looking back to the page, she continued, “Daer eseht sdrow duola,” she muttered quietly, trying her best to pronounce the incomprehensible gibberish on the page. The lights flickered again, this time blinking on and off a few times before going back to normal. With a deep breath, Elia read off the last two lines, “Di ekil ot nruter! Cigam eb ym ediug!”

The lights went off completely, and the crystals on the staff started to glow. The ground opened up and Elia screamed as she fell down into a giant pit. She landed hard on a stone floor. The book lay open next to her, and the staff clattered on the ground a few feet away, no longer glowing. Sitting up, Elia was surprised to see that she had no broken bones, and other than a few scratches, she was perfectly fine. Her white shirt was ripped, and her leggings had dirt all over them. Her short black hair was all messed up, but she wasn’t hurt. She had thought a fall from that height would have killed her, but clearly she was still alive, so she decided to forget about it. 

Elia took in her surroundings. It looked like she was in a small, damp cave, but why there would be a small, damp cave in her basement, she did not know. Ahead of her, there was a light, which Elia assumed to be the mouth of the cave. Picking up both the book and the staff, she stumbled through the dark and out into the light. 

When she exited the cave, the first thing she noticed was how colorful everything was. And by colorful, she didn’t mean that everything was colored brightly, she meant that everything was colorful. It was like looking through a prism, where the light was all refracted, so everything had a rainbow tint around the edges. It was so jarringly bright that Elia had to use the book to shield her eyes. Something weird was going on. Maybe she had hit her head when she fell?

Outside of the cave looked like what one would expect of the outside of a cave in the middle of nowhere (except with a rainbow tint of course). It looked like a dense forest, with a large building off in the distance. But the building didn’t look normal either. To Elia, it looked somewhat like a cross between a castle, and an office building. Clearly, she was not back home anymore.

Pt. 2 

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello darling! Are you still doing fic recs? Because I am in dire need of self-conscious Sherlock. Don't ask me why but I am just craving sad, lonely little sherlock getting comforted by John. Help a girl out? Thanks so much either way!

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Heyy darling, I just wanna say that I LOVE YOUR BLOG SM! Everyday I spend here looking at your posts and reading thousands of awesome fanfictions, so thank you lol 💜 Also, could you maybe give me a list of all fanfics with insecure!sherlock or insecure!john ? And lots of angst, like reading/watching/seeing things they weren’t supposed to see that has their love on it, stuff like that hahaha Thank you babe 🖤

Hi Lovelies! 

Always! I actually started a list a short while back because someone else asked for one but I can’t find the ask, LOL. I’ve actually done a post in the past for it, but I think I’ll just redo it and stamp it with Jan 2019, LOL. Here we are!

I know I have more but I haven’t retagged all my past readings, so I’ve only included ones that I remember indefinitely is an insecure Sherlock or John

INSECURE / AWKWARD SHERLOCK OR JOHN (Jan. 2019)

See also:

BedSharing Pt. 2 and Insecure Sherlock

BAMF! But Insecure John

Bands by dragonQuill907 (T, 1,017 w. || Established Relationship, POV Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock) – “Her wedding ring. Ten years old at least. The rest of her jewelry has been regularly cleaned, but not her wedding ring. State of her marriage right there. The inside of the ring is shinier than the outside – that means it’s regularly removed. The only polishing it gets is when she works it off her finger.”

Secrets by 796116311389 (G, 1,084 w. || Drunk Sherlock, Drunk Confessions, Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Pining Sherlock) – “He is the best person in the world and sometimes I get sad because I’m not. Not his best person.”

Under The Covers by berlynn_wohl (E, 1,221 w. || Est. Rel., Shy Sherlock, Anal, Fluff) – John would have liked to have the lights on and seen everything, but Sherlock was shy, so they did it this way, always.

29 January 2017 by wearitcounts (Sher_locked_up) (E, 1,765 w. || Anniversary, First Time, Insecure Sherlock, Love Confessions, Post-S4) – “That,” John says, “should have happened years ago. Maybe even the first time.”

Loudly Unspoken by Mount_Seleya (M, 1,871 w. || Post-TAB, Love Confessions, Vulnerable Sherlock, Frottage) – John confronts Sherlock about the words he left unsaid on the tarmac. Set immediately after TAB.

The Marriage Proposal Negotiation by Goddess_of_the_Night (G, 2,161 w. || Dev. Rel., Possessive Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Fluff, First Kiss, Post Mary) – Sherlock hasn’t ever really done anything the traditional way, so of course it wouldn’t bother him to propose to John even though they’re not even dating. And the fact that John is already on a date with someone else when he decides to do it? Tedious.

Unmissed by 221b_hound (M, 3,235 w. || Est. Rel., Pet Names, Insecure Sherlock, Worried Sherlock) – John enjoys a good brawl during a case, and Sherlock begins to worry - when they retire, will John get bored? Will John get bored and leave. But even if John isn’t a genius about cases, he knows a thing or two about Sherlock’s panic attacks about them as a couple. With only four days till the wedding, he’s not about to let Sherlock continue with this misplaced notion that John will be bored in retirement. Part 20 of Unkissed

Untouched by KittieHill (E, 3,239 w. || Kissing, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, Body Worship, Sherlock’s Scars Mentioned, Masturbation, PWP, Rimming) – Sherlock leaked a lot. John had never needed lubricant. John loved watching it, had once spent an entire afternoon edging Sherlock so he could watch as the thick precome drip, drip, dripped onto Sherlock’s belly.

Acceptable Behaviour by bbcatemysoul (M, 3,449 w. || Fluff, Dev. Rel., Miscommunication, First Time) – Sherlock isn’t really sure why John wants to shag him, but he’s certain that if he’s careful to behave properly about it, John can be persuaded to keep doing it. In other news, John is a good boyfriend and Sherlock is an idiot.

In Nomine by Atiki (E, 3,517 w. || Est. Rel., PWP, Anal, Domesticity, Love Confessions, Sherlock Loves John, Overwhelmed Sherlock) – “Alright?” John asks gently, planting a kiss on Sherlock’s left collar bone, smoothing a hand down his chest and belly until it rests in the soft trail of hair below his belly button. John’s smile is all soft and warm. His hand feels tender and solid and real. A soldier’s hand. A surgeon’s hand. A lover’s hand. Oh. “John”, Sherlock gasps. And that’s where it begins. Written for a prompt on the Kink Meme: The only word Sherlock says during sex is “John”.

MR# 1430155 by blueink3 (T, 3,560 w. || Talks of Parentlock, Baby Watson, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Fluff and Angst) – John paces the length of the not inconsiderable hallway and glances at his phone for the tenth time since he exited the hospital room seven minutes ago. Sherlock’s last text was sent at 5:06pm. It is now 5:39pm. He should be here by now. After all, his daughter is 46-minutes-old and if John is going to share this momentous event with someone, it sure as hell isn’t going to be the woman who just gave birth to her.Part 5 of Tumblr Prompts

Rumpled by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 3,601 w. || Est. Rel., Insecure Sherlock, Fluff, PWP, Proposal, Bottomlock) – Then, halfway through a documentary on river otters that neither of them was paying attention to–how could John, with a gangly, limp consulting detective practically purring in his lap?–Sherlock suddenly bolted upright, looked at John with a perplexed expression and a crinkle above his nose, and blurted, “Marry me.” Part 4 of Longitudinal Cohort

Last Christmas by Mazarin221b (T, 3,911 w. || Fluff, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss) – That Earth-shaking revelation, then, leads to a problem, and one that Sherlock realizes should be solved quickly, before John’s dates turn into girlfriends or boyfriends, because sometimes girlfriends or boyfriends can turn into wives or husbands while your back is turned. Every time John hums happily at the mirror as he shaves, splashes on a little gift cologne Mrs. Hudson bought him for Christmas, Sherlock is drawn back to that night by the fire, and the way John’s touch had made the world stand still.

Hope Springs Eternal by QuinnAnderson  (T, 4,054 w. || Friends to Lovers, Pining Sherlock, Vacation, Anxious Sherlock, Love Confessions, Fluff, Requited Love) – John Watson and Sherlock Holmes go on holiday, and Sherlock has romance on the brain.

Everything by patternofdefiance (E, 4,409 w. || Snuggles and Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Frottage, Vulnerable Sherlock) – John wakes up with an armful of Sherlock.This – situation – is unusual, yes, and definitely unfamiliar, but in no way does it feel wrong.Rather, it feels the exact opposite. Part 13 of I Blame Tumblr

a violent flash of purple by hudders-and-hiddles (E, 4,749 w. || Sex Toys, Friends to Lovers, PWP, Love Confessions, Porn With Feelings) – When Sherlock accidentally drops his towel, he ends up revealing a whole lot more than he’d intended.

Bed-Sharing Between Flatmates by testosterone_tea (T, 5,053 w. || 5 and Ones, Bed Sharing, PTSD John, Science, Whump, Insecure Sherlock, Asexual Sherlock) – 5 times Sherlock had an excuse to share John’s bed, and the one time he didn’t need one.

The Only Available Transportation by blueink3 (T, 5,379 w. || Post S4, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Sherlock, Caring John, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Birthday, Family, Misunderstandings) – It’s possibly the desperation that’s seeped into his voice despite his best intentions, or perhaps it’s just a mother’s intuition, but she knows that whatever he’s calling about is Serious, hangover be damned. “What’s happened?” she asks, tone soft and as comforting as a hot cup of tea on a cold winter’s night. “Mummy,” he begins, voice catching. “I think John may be moving out.”

Tease You Till You Come by phoenix089 (E, 6,090 w. || First Time, Clueless Sherlock, Texting) – Initially, Sherlock was rather put out by John’s lack of presence on the case. But then he starts to receive pictures, several of them, of an unexpected nature. The case is forgotten rather quickly after that.

All the Flavours, Cherry and More by cwb (E, 6,274 w. || Est. Rel., Lip Gloss, Lingerie, Birthday Presents, Insecure Sherlock) – Sherlock feels a blush rising to touch his cheeks, more sensual than uncomfortable now that he knows John isn’t disgusted by him. No, John is responding exactly the way he had hoped.

The Inciting Incident by beetlemate (M, 6,291 w. || Masturbation, Embarassed Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Fluff, Friends to Lovers) – John catches Sherlock in a compromising position. With a secret photograph. He absolutely must know what is in that bloody photograph.

The Strait of Juan de Fuca by mightypog (T, 6,400 w. || Vacation, Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Canada, Post-TRF, Love Confessions) – Sherlock is back and all seems forgiven, but something is missing between him and John. Their friendship initially appears intact, but Sherlock doesn’t understand why John seems to be slipping away. Finally, in terror, he tries to reconnect with John by taking him to the one place that seems to inspire any emotional interest in John any more: the Canadian wilderness. While there, Sherlock faces his greatest fear.

Inside by magikspell (E, 6,757 w. || Loss of Virginity, Anal / Rimming, Fluff, Humour, Awkwardness, Shy Sherlock, Bottomlock) – “Being inside someone. Feeling someone inside you.”

Abatement by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 6,816 w. || Est. Rel., Retirementlock, Fluff, Sherlock’s Self Esteem, Grumpy Sherlock) – “What’s wrong with you? You love the cottage,” John glances over to the passenger seat, then quickly turns his eyes back to the road. Driving was still not his forte, but considering Sherlock still couldn’t properly bend and lift his new knee enough to press and release the clutch, he had to make do. Not that Sherlock hadn’t tried to argue his way into the driver’s seat. “I love the cottage for a week or two, John. Don’t be deliberately obstuse,” Sherlock grumbles, sinking further in his seat. Well, as best he can with a four-week-old knee replacement. “And that’s all we’re going for, love,” John says out loud. But what he’s thinking is, shit. He knows.

High and Tight, Soft and Loose by cwb (E, 7,429 w. || Jealous John, Miscommunications / Misunderstandings, First Kiss / Time, BAMF John, Insecure Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock, Junk Size, UST / RST) – John pressed the knuckle of his index finger against his mouth and sighed. “So, you’re coiled like a spring and ready to be … sprung?” “If you want to be pedestrian about it, yes.” “Like I said, you should do something about that.” “And like I said, pedestrian. What would you have me do? Take up jogging? Yoga? Oh! Unless you mean –” “I don’t mean anything. Let’s drop it.”

The T-Shirt Thief by allroadsleadbacktobakerstreet (T, 7,968 w. || Mutual Pining, Post Canon Fix It, Dev. Rel., First Kiss, Domestics) – Sherlock steals John’s t-shirt from the laundry. John catches him wearing it one evening, fluff ensues with an endeared yet teasing John?

Drive by lifeonmars (M, 9,537 w. || Virginity, Awkward First Times, Minor Injuries) – John and Sherlock are stranded by the roadside, and John is injured. They need to spend the night in the back of a humvee. Sherlock is confused. John is understanding.

The Thin Line by Odamaki (M, 10,809 w. || Virgin Sherlock, Awkwardness, Confessions, First Times, Anal) – John swallows. Keeps his eyes on Sherlock. Begs him not to ruin him.Sherlock leans forward over the witness box ever-so slightly, “I was distracted,” he informs the court, “by my partner, John Watson.”

the first day of forever by darcylindbergh (E, 11,850 w. || Est. Relationship, Domestics, Light Angst, Insecurity, Emotional H/C) – “I’m going to marry you,” John murmurs with against Sherlock’s smile, and they both giggle in the joy of it. “We’re getting married.”“Yes,” Sherlock says, just to hear himself say it out loud. “We are.” A June wedding. Part 4 of things fairy tales are made of

And Here We Are by J_Baillier (T, 12,416 w. || ASiP Fic, Alternating First Person POV, Drama, Friendship, Mild Case Fic, Autism Spectrum Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Protective John, Pining, Homophobia, Loneliness, Angst, Humour, Domestics, Morbid Fluff, Kidnapping) – All the little things we never got to see when an army doctor and a consulting detective were adjusting to sharing a flat. And a life.

Let’s Make a Bed Out in the Rain by theimprobable1 (M, 17,664 w. || Pining Sherlock, Angst & Fluff, First Kiss, Unrequited, Jealous Sherlock, Protective Sherlock) – John is devastated after his long-term girlfriend leaves him. Sherlock helps him through it.

For you, there’s only me by shock_blanket (E, 19,557 w. || Jealous Idiots, Virgin Sherlock, UST/RST, Pining, Miscommunication, First Kiss / Time, Insecure Sherlock, Masturbation) – Sherlock realizes he has fallen in love with John, but believes he is unlovable. Cue lots of pining and jealousy on Sherlock’s part, followed by our favorite cuddly marksman making it all better. Because for Sherlock, there’s only John.

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

The Real Meaning of Idioms by feverishsea (T, 21,691 w. || Texting, Humour, Post S2, Awkward Romance) - After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn’t expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He’s charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w. || Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they’re both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, 31,059 w. || Vampires AU || Vampire Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Bat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour, Magical Realism, Fluff and Angst, Blood Drinking, Holmes Family, Slow Burn) – At Montague Street when Sherlock was forced to sate his body’s needs, he was at least able to wander about the flat as much as he pleased.At Baker Street, it was mini-bags in a mini-fridge and bedroom confinement.

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (E, 32,731 w. || Christmas, Frottage, Comfort, Est. Rel., Fluff, Insecure Sherlock) – For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves. Part 2 of things fairy tales are made of

Classified(s) by blueink3 (E, 36,153 w. || Wedding Date AU || Fake Relationship, Jealous, PIning, H/C, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, Mary is not Nice, Escort Service) – Clara’s American father is the ambassador to some such territory that Great Britain probably used to own, but she (and Harry’s undying love for her) is the reason John is getting on a flight at 12:30pm, flying across the second largest ocean in the world, and pretending to be in a perfectly happy, healthy relationship with an undoubtedly perfectly coiffed stranger. See, Clara is not only American (and wealthy to boot), she’s also best friends with John’s ex-fiancée. Whom she’s placed in the wedding party. As Maid of Honor. And John just happens to be Best Man. Bloody brilliant.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

Set in Stone by SilentAuror (E, 39,309 w. || Romance, Wedding, Therapy, Fluff and Angst) – Sherlock and John are back from Ravine Valley and planning their wedding. However, as they move past the trial of the human traffickers, Sherlock can’t help but wonder if he’s imagining that John is becoming a little distant. Surely he isn’t getting cold feet about the wedding… Part 2 of The Ravine Valley series

In the Still of the Night by SilentAuror (E, 42,234 w. || S4 Fix It / Post-S4, Sherlock POV, Angst, Drama, Romance, Virgin Sherlock, Awkwardness, Misunderstandings / Miscommunications, Case Fic, Travelling, Pining) – As locals on the Northeastern coast begin to report UFO sightings, life at Baker Street becomes significantly awkward as John brings up his desire for more than friendship and Sherlock refuses him. They embark on the investigation from the confines of the tiny cottage Mycroft has rented for them, attempting to navigate both the clues of the case as well as their own inability to communicate…

Bedroom Tales by Junejuly15 (M, 49,950 w. || Friends to Lovers, Through the Years, H/C, Military Kink, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Insecure Sherlock, Voyeurism, Post-TRF, Ficlets, Fluff and Angst, Fix-It Fics) – Bedroom Tales is a collection of John and Sherlock ficlets. They are set at various stages of their relationship and are in no particular order. Some are fluffy, some sexy, some angsty, there is hurt and comfort, romance and love. What unites them is that they all play in a bedroom, but not necessarily the one in 221B.

In the Dark Hours by hubblegleeflower (E, 51,639 w. || Friends to Lovers, Unreliable Narrator, Closeted Bi John, Angst, Miscommunications, Slow Burn, First Time, John’s Blog / Epistolary) – John, wounded and silent, drifts back to Baker Street for healing…and then goes home again. He visits, gets more upbeat, chattier, smiles, jokes… and still goes home again. Sherlock wants him to move back in - it just makes sense - but John shows no signs of doing so. This is the story of how John and Sherlock learn to say what needs to be said when they’re both so very, very rubbish at talking.

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w. || Notting Hilll AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant – but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Book of Silence by SilentAuror (E, 60,056 w. || S4 Fix It / Post S4, Virgin Sherlock, Rosie / Parentlock, Domesticity, Fluff, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, First Person POV) – As spring blooms in London, John and Sherlock begin to take new cases and cautiously negotiate this new phase of life with John living at Baker Street again. Despite how well it’s all going, John struggles to forgive himself for the way he treated Sherlock following Mary’s death as well as trying to figure out how to finally put his long-time feelings for Sherlock into words. Part 1 of The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

Scars by SilentAuror (E, 60,493 w. || Rape / Non-Con / Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Dub Con Elements, Homophobia, Angst With Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice) – S3 rewrite, showing Mary’s manipulation of John as he realizes his love for Sherlock. Mary is not having it.

Definitions by siennna (T, 101,528 w. || Dev. Rel., Pining, Fluff and Romance, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Cuddles) – Sherlock’s journey in defining his flat mate and stumbling through the muddled world of emotion. {{This feels complete; the chapter count is listed as ? but I feel like it is done}}

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w. || FutureAU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say: Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w. || Established, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis, Happy-ish Ending) – After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it’s supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

The Burning Heart by May_Shepard (M, 119,150 w. || Canon Divergence, Post-TRF, John’s Sexuality, S3 Rewrite, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Watson, John’s Gay) – When Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men. Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.

Unkissed Series by 221b_hound (T to E, 184,168 w. across 46 works || Established Relationship, Ace Sherlock) – Sherlock returned from the dead a year ago. John returned to Baker Street six months ago. They’ve been in a couple since then. or at least, not NOT a couple. For two smart men, they sure can be dumb. Luckily, an art thief tries to drown Sherlock, Sherlock has a fever dream and things are about to change.

[badlydrawndrawnings]

Mega Round Up Royal Spoilers

So I ended up finding like, three different streams going at different rates. Out of the three, only two I stayed with. One is mid-late game (Okumura’s Palace from I can recall before they stop playing). One is a Speed Runner and rushing through vanilla Persona 5 stuff to get into the Third semester, only slowing down to read the new updated content.

Thanks to Speed Runner Tim Barry, I was able see much of the game where the second stream hasn’t reach yet (not all, but much). Tim Barry’s stream is the closest stream (to my knowledge) that got close to Third Semester by playing for over 30 hours (part of me think they’re two people because any person would crash after just 12 hours). He finally decided to call it a night and the stream seemingly got nuke by Atlus because he stop on 12/24 before Third Semester even got reach.

I was going to post only Third Semester Stuff, but I’m gonna do a mega roundup of Royal Spoilers up to 12/24 that appeared on the nuked stream (as well as the Second Stream) as a honor for Tim Barry’s service.

There’s a lot of second hand information from either the chat or the spoiler mega thread on the Persona 5 reddit, and information from Second Stream. I think I was able to fill in most blanks. Read under the cut if you’re curious.

Kasumi Spoiler Round Up

Has a twin sister who died in a car accident before the game start

In a slump/downward spiral in gymnastics as a result of her dead sister.

To get something out of the way, and to act as a PSA, someone on TV Tropes added incorrect information abut the twin.

This is the entry- Posthumous Sibling: A recent one at that. A month before Joker arrived in Tokyo, her twin sister was killed in a car accident, heavily implied to be the result of a mental shutdown incident

As of November 1 (when this post is published), I can not find information that gives the implication Kasumi’s twin died as a result of a mental shutdown incident. I have no idea who believed it enough to write it in, but I know that the possible source came when the game broke street date (aka, before official release), being something of a joke (a mess up joke because it’s referring to Wakaba). I mean, who knows for sure in Third Semester, but for now, I’ll assume it’s just a real car accident

Father works at the TV Station, and father knows Goro

This is a bit iffy since Speed Runner Tim Barry’s chat went fast, but from the main translator, Kasumi is on a scholarship at Shujin. In October, the school/a teacher (plans to) revokes her scholarship because she got third place. 3. Third!

Around same time, Kasumi awakens her Persona between Okumura’s Palace and Sae’s Palace (October 3 seems to by the set date when it happens?)

The (Research Facility?) Palace is the Gym Competition Building that is under construction throughout Royal

Kasumi doesn’t join the PT before Goro because she turns down the offer from Joker...and her phone died before the keywords were given so no one is going to check it out 8P

Kasumi apparently tries to join on the 11/25 (I had to leave stream for a bit and I came back a little after it ended) but Mona (and Joker if one apparently pick the option) turn her down due to the danger

Kasumi meets Futaba in this scene. Interesting, in the (Research Facility?) Palace you see that old Kasumi looks a bit like Futaba (Kasumi confirms she wears contacts in Rank 5 I think)

Kasumi Ranks 1 through 5 can be completed before October 3 (?)

Going back to TV tropes, apparently Kasumi’s Arcana change? I didn’t read anything implying that as well, but this I’m willing to believe since it’s likely Kasumi is lock at 5 until a certain point.

Goro Spoiler Round Up

All of Goro’s original automatic Co-Op are still in the game. 

Tim Barry and Second Streamer seem to be dead set on doing Goro’s new Co-Op and getting that Goro Content. So, it begs the question: is the original automatic Co-Op is still there, and only activate to players who don’t make an attempt to do the New Co-Op and be doom for Vanilla Good Ending, or did they just promoted the automatic Co-Op to regular plot scenes?

 From Rank 2 to Five (I think), Joker has to go to Goro

The messy hair Goro appears in Rank 3, the Cafe from Proof of Justice appears in Rank 4

Rank 6 (I think) through 8 seems to be a mixture of automatic and manual. From what I saw once (and second hand info) Goro has to contact Joker, and Joker have to accept

In Rank 6, Goro reveals his mother is a prostitute. Goro recalls his mother sends him to the bathhouse when she had ‘clients’. Goro apparently never told this part of his life before to anyone 

I have no idea if Goro meant his mother, after getting dump by Shido, had to turn to prostitution to support her son, or if he meant Goro is the son of a politician and his lady of the night

Rank 7 I missed completely, so this is all second hand info. It seems Goro ask Joker about joining his side, and Joker answered ‘let me think about it’, and Goro replied with something of the lines  ��don’t make promises if you can’t keep it’. I have no idea if there was another choice that could lead to some Accomplice Ending.

Rank 8 is interesting. I got to Tim Barry’s stream and caught the aftermath freak out on the chat. Goro thinks that he and Joker fight one on one. Goro loses, and when they leave Mementos...he throws his glove and acts a bit like his Rank 9 and 10 self.  

BTW, it’s unknown how Goro reacts if he wins

Nine and Ten are automatically ranked up, and it’s the whole Engine Room Scene, meaning Goro suffers from his MIA fate

HOWEVER, Rank Ten got a redo. Via translations, when Goro is about to go MIA, Goro apparently wants him and Joker to have an eventual rematch, in which Joker can reply with either deciding to keep that promise or something of the lines, ‘i’ll keep your gloves’. I didn’t even think Joker took Goro’s glove. Goro’s animation is apparently also different too. That I couldn’t spot lol.

A little after Goro goes MIA, Joker is on his bed. He thinks of Goro, apparently wondering or not if can see Goro again (?)

The main translator of Tim Barry’s steam is quiet (or gone), and Tim Barry pick the first option. I don’t know who said it, but apparently word got out that he may have pick the wrong choice: to Forget. Cue Major Freak Out by everyone in the chat

Main Translator comes back, and they agree that the first option is to forget Goro’s promise. A civil war happened in the chat if Tim Barry should reload or not, because he was right about to take on Shido. Because Tim Barry is dead set on getting that Goro content, he took the risk of reloading the game, redo about an hour and a bit of gameplay, and pick the second option.

Back to Goro, he won’t say the PT’s name anymore

Main spot is apparently Kichijoji?

Takuto Spoiler Round Up

Is doing research as well as counselling

According to translations, Takuto is dealing with the same stuff as Wakaba: Cognitive research (and of the collective unconscious)

Oh no...

Took care of Kasumi (I assume counseling) because of her sister’s death

Is extremely worry and cares for Kasumi

Seriously. He tried to get the school/teacher to undo their decision of revoking her scholarship.

Obsess with hearts/heartache and happiness.

In one of the Ranks (I don’t know which), it’s reveal he has a former girlfriend who got rob and it affected her big time. What happened to her factor into who/what he is doing now

You apparently meet one of Takuto’s friend in one the Ranks. I have no idea what the friend looks like.

In apparently Rank 10 (don’t trust me with this; I assume 10 because of its content), Takuto tells Joker he knows who are the Phantom Thieves 

Or rather, he knows the original members because he spotted them disappearing into thin air (something like that)

And since then, he been indirectly been using them as a way of collecting research or something. 

And then he leaves Shujin

Oh nooooo...

Think that’s fishy enough? Takuto was able to meet almost all of the Phantom Thieves members and talk to them. Those at Shujin go to him for a small meeting/counsel

Apparently he visits LeBlanc when everyone goes to Hawaii and that’s how he met Futaba and Morgana

He meets Yusuke at the School Festival

8U I don’t feel so good...

Other Notes of Importance Round Up

So all of the bosses have a new gimmick, as seen with Kamoshida, Madarame, and  Okumura via press material pre-release). I actually haven’t seen much of the Boss Fights, so I won’t go into much detail other than what I seen with my own eyes (except for one)

I swear to God someone better figure out what’s the point of Cognitive!Shiho in Kamoshida’s boss fight I think she serves a possible strategy for Kamoshida like doesn’t Cognitive!Yuki have something akin to that?

Sae: It has something to do with roulette in her second form,  deciding what her attack/weakness (I had no idea what lol I like, entered in the middle of it and the PT won seven minutes later).

Shido: So Shido ‘kills’ Joker’s teammates, and he and Joker have a freaking one on one fight when he’s in his shirtless buff form. Shido got some new powerful skills

I’m utterly disappoint Shido got the one on one boss fight but not Goro and Joker like maybe we’ll be getting it in Third Semester

Sae’s Co-Op is still Automatic (maybe there’s no valentine date after all!)

Ryuji still gets beaten up (COME ON ATLUS GIVE HIM A BREAK!)

You can spot Co-Ops in the BG at times before you meet them

[exoscenarios3]

It’s You. (Exo ft. Ikon) Pt.5

Pt.1, Pt.2 , Pt.3, Pt.4, Pt.6

~Kai’s P.O.V~

“We’re never going to find them. We’ve looked everywhere.” Chanyeol complained, as we walked around an empty city. It’s been weeks since our cars have been stolen. The other car we found ran out of gas, and we’ve been walking ever since. There’s been no sign of the other group, or my sister. I think I’ve started to give up myself.

“It’s been so long, they’re probably in Italy by now.” Chen said, looking up at the sky.

“Can you guys chill? We’ll find them.” Luna said, walking hand in hand with me. Shocker right? The two people who hated each other fell in love.

“It’s been weeks, Luna.” Lay said, looking back at us.

“It’s only a matter of time before we find them, I can feel it.” She looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back, squeezing her hand.

“Let’s think positively guys.”

~Your P.O.V~

“Guys, we just made a giant circle!” I say, looking around at where we were. We were in some city that we’ve passed twice already.

“Oh, come on!” Junhoe complained, when he saw the same building he pointed out the first time we passed it.

“Where are we exactly?” Chanwoo asked, sighing out of exhaustion.

“Hell if I know.” Bobby scratched his head, and looked around, lost.

“Let’s just spend the night here, it’s obvious everyone is tired.” Jinhwan suggests, pointing at a small building across from us.

We all walk to it, and Jinhwan stops at the door, knocking on it, and waiting before walking in, to make sure it was safe.

“Alright, come on.” He waved us all in.

After searching the building, making sure nothing or no one was in here, we settled in. Some fell asleep immediately, and at least four of us stayed up. Jinhwan and I sat across from each other in front of a flash light.

“Do you think we’ll ever find them?” I asked, resting me chin in my hand.

Jinhwan took my hand, and made me stretch out my arm. “We’ll find them.” He says, taking out a sharpie from his pocket, and redoing the first letters of our names on my wrist that he’s done so many times. “One day, if we ever run into a tattoo artist, you should get this tattooed on your wrist.” He said, focusing on the letters.

“I’ll be sure to do that.” I laugh. He looked up at me, and smiled. His eyes traveled down to my shoulder, where the bite was. I didn’t realize that my shirt wasn’t covering it at the moment.

“Oh my god, (Y/N).” He whispered, getting up quickly.

“What?” I asked, following his gaze to my shoulder. “Oh, no, Jinhwan, it’s not as bad as you think.” I say, standing up as well.

He grabbed my wrist, and pulled me outside. “What do you mean ‘it’s not as bad as I think’? You’re bit.” He said, pointing at my shoulder.

“Yes, but-”

“Let me see it.” He said, moving my shirt so he can fully see the mark. He covered his mouth, and backed up, tears filling his eyes. “When were you going to tell me?” He asked, running his fingers through his hair.

“Jinhwan, calm down-”

“Calm down? You’re bit, (Y/N). You’re going to turn into one of those things.” He was talking 90 miles per second, and pacing the ground.

I stopped him, and held his face to make him look at me. “Jinhwan, listen to me, okay? This bite is like a month old.” I say, letting go of his face.

“That’s impossible, people turn in the matter of hours, if that.” He said, confused.

“Yeah I know, but I guess I’m immune.” I say, looking into his eyes.

“Nobody’s immune.” He backs away from me again.

“Jinhwan...” I took a step closer to him, but he put his hand up.

“Don’t.” He said.

I stopped walking, and took a deep breath. “Look, I’ve been fine all this time. If I would’ve turned, it would’ve happened a month ago.” I said, trying to reason with him.

Jinhwan slowly nods, and thinks for a second, before walking to me, and holding my hands. “We need to let the others know.” He says, calm now.

“No! Jinhwan, please. You saw how you just reacted. If they know, they’ll freak out. I don’t want them to worry.” I beg, giving him a worried look.

“Fine. But if you feel anything out of the ordinary, you tell me. Understand?” He said, worried as well. I nod, and he leads me back inside.

We sat back down in our spots, and went back to normal, like nothing happened. Everyone around us was asleep now, making the room extremely quiet, other than the soft snores and the sound of breathing filling the room.

I sat in Jinhwan’s lap, my back pressed against his chest. I watched as he played with my fingers in silence. I looked up at him, and smiled.

“What?” He asked, looking down at me as well.

“Nothing, I just wish it could be this quiet more often.” I say, looking back down at our hands.

“Me too.” Jinhwan lifted my chin, so I’d look at him again, and he placed his lips on mine. “Let’s get some rest.” He says, laying down now, with me next to him.

  A couple more days passed, we decided to stay for a while longer so we could figure out a plan. Junhoe and I went to one of the taller building to scavenge for supplies.

“I don’t think anyone’s been here.” Junhoe said, excited, as we found a bunch of supplies we could use.

“Or those are someone else’s.” I say, looking at the pile on the ground.

“FInders keepers.” Junhoe bent down, and started gathering the stuff, and putting it in his bag. There was a short pause, as we continued to look. “So, you and Jinhwan?” He said suddenly, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Stop.” I say, giving him a look.  

~Luna’s P.O.V~

We’ve been walking for a couple of days, with little to no breaks. Exhausted, we found a city, and thought it would be a good place to stay, and finally get some rest.

“Luna and I will go look in that building, we’ll try to find some supplies.” Kai said, taking my hand, and walking towards the tall building we had just passed.

“Or you’re just going so you two can have some alone time, if you know what I mean.” Xiumin half joked, winking at us.

“Ha ha, very funny.” I said, rolling my eyes at him, dragging Kai inside, to get away from the teasing group.

“Let’s split up, we can cover more ground that way.” He said, looking at his surroundings.

“Oh, so you really did wanna look for supplies.” I said, disappointed.

“We’re running low. Sorry.” Kai said, kissing the top of my head, before splitting up with me.

As I walked down the hall, I could hear voices coming from a room a few doors down, so naturally, I followed them.

“Junhoe, seriously, shut up.” I hear.

Junhoe? My Junhoe?

“What? It’s so true. The way he looks at you makes it so obvious. And don’t get me started on the tattoo he always draws on your wrist. A couple of teenage lovers is what you are.”

I looked into the room, and saw Junhoe and some girl, talking and laughing. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” I say, leaning against the door frame.

They both turn around, quickly, and pull out their guns.

“Luna?” Junhoe asked, dropping his gun, and hugging me.

“You know her?” The girl asked, not lowering her gun.

“Yeah, this is Luna, she’s a part of the group.” Junhoe explains, putting his arm around me. The girl lowered her gun, and put it in her belt loop.

“Hey, so I found some stuff, but not much.” Kai says, coming to the door way. He looked up, and saw Junhoe with his arm around my shoulder.

“Who’s this?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Kai...” The girl speaks, staring at him in disbelief. He turned to look at her, and dropped the stuff he was holding. They both ran to each other, and hugged tightly, like they would lose each other again if they let go.

“I thought I’d never see you again.” Kai said, burying his face in her neck.

“Me too.” She cried, holding onto him a little more tightly.

He pulled away from her, and held her by the shoulders.”Look at you! You’ve gotten so much skinnier, and your hair is so long now. You look like a different person.” He said, pulling her into another hug.

“I’m guessing this is your brother?” Junhoe laughed, watching the two.

She smiled big, and looked at Junhoe. “Yeah, Junhoe, this is Kai.” She said, introducing the two.

Junhoe laughed again. “Yeah, I got that.” He said.

“Oh, and (Y/N), this is Luna.” Kai explains, walking to me and taking my hand.

She pretends to smile, but she was staring right at our intertwined hands.

“Junhoe. Where have you guys been? We’ve been looking for you for ages.” I asked, changing the subject.

“We’ve been looking for you guys.” Junhoe says, gesturing to Kai and I. “But I guess you found us first.”

“We have to tell the others!” I say, pulling Kai along with me.

“What? Uh, you can go tell the others, but my brother stays here.” (Y/N) says, grabbing Kai’s arm.

“I’ll be right back, I promise. They’re just outside.” He said, following me out of the building, slipping out of her grasp.

“Guys! We found them!” I say, as soon as I see the others outside.

“Who?” Xiumin asks, standing up from his spot on the ground.

“Junhoe and Kai’s sister are inside! Follow me.” I said, excitedly. I led everyone back into the building to where Junhoe and (Y/N) were.

“Told you I’d be right back.” Kai smiled when he saw his sister, and hugged her again.

“That’s your sister?” Xiumin asks.

“Yeah, (Y/N), that’s everyone, everyone, this is (Y/N).” Kai said, too excited to introduce everyone by name.

“You two look so different though...” Chen pointed out, staring at the two of them.

“That’s because our mom was Korean, and our dad was (Y/R). Kai took after mom, and I took after dad. I know, genetics are crazy right?” She says, making everyone chuckle a bit.

“So, uh, where is everyone? Are they here?” I ask, just now realizing that Junhoe and (Y/N) were the only ones here.

“Back at camp. I’ll take you guys.” Junhoe says, leading the way out, with us following behind him, closely.

~Your P.O.V~

“So, what’s the deal with you and Luna?” I asked Kai, making sure we were a little behind the group.

“She’s my girlfriend.” Kai says, nonchalantly.

“Girlfriend?” I stop walking, but Kai grabs my wrist and pulls me along.

“Yes, my girlfriend.” He says, catching up with the group.

“I thought you were done with love?” I say, crossing my arms.

“You can never be done with love.” Kai gave me a look that told me to drop it, but he knew I wouldn’t.

“Don’t you remember Krystal?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“That was a long time ago.”

“You proposed to her, and she cheated on you a week later. After that you sworn off love.” I recall.

“Yes, I know, I was there. You don’t have to remind me. Luna’s different, I really like her.” Kai says. I look at her, and scrunch my nose.

“We’re here.” Junhoe says, opening the door to our small building. “Guys! Look who we found!” Junhoe called out, stepping into the room that the others were in.

Everyone laughs, and starts hugging each other, creating their own little reunion.

“Seems like she’s pretty fond of the guys here.” I whisper towards Kai.

“They’re just saying hello. It’s been a while.” He says, rolling his eyes.

“You sure? That’s a really long hello.” I point out.

Luna finally stops hugging everyone, and went back to Kai, holding his hand again with a smile. I have to admit, I don’t like her. Something about her rubs off wrong on me. And the fact that she’s dating my brother makes everything worse.

“I’m so glad you guys are safe.” Star says, smiling.

“We thought we’d lost you guys forever.” Luna says, putting her hands on her hips, amused at the situation.

“Have you guys found a new camp?” Donghyuk asked.

“No, we were so occupied looking for you guys. We weren’t focused on finding a new camp yet. You guys were our main focus.” Luna says, a smile still on her face.

“Obviously it wasn’t your main focus.” I say under my breath.

Kai must’ve heard, because he nudged me, and looked down at me. “Stop acting like a child.” He whispered.

“I’m not.” I say, looking at the ground.

“(Y/N)!” Jinhwan said, suddenly picking me up and spinning me around. “I told you we’d find them.” He smiles widely at me.

“Calm it down a bit, I haven’t told Kai about you and me yet. He’d be livid.” I say, as Jinhwan sets me down.

“Yes ma’am.” Jinhwan said, sarcastically, and let go of me.

Kai watches the two of us, raising an eyebrow. I just brush it off, and pretend like he isn’t looking.

“So? What now?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“We need to find a place to relocate now that we have everybody.” Luna says, turning around and facing the group.

“Okay, so Lay, Chen and Xiumin. If you could help with gathering supplies so we can get out of here, and be on the way that’d be great.” I say, starting to walk around, and say orders with Star by my side.

“Who made her boss?” I whispered.

“She kind of runs this group with her sister.” Kai states.

“And you let her?” I asked, surprised that Kai actually let someone else be the leader instead of stepping in himself.

“It’s not my group, I didn’t really have a choice.” He shrugs.

As Luna spat orders, me and Jinhwan snuck outside, away from the group.

“So, why exactly haven’t you told your brother about us?” He asked, leaning against the building wall.

“He’s an overprotective brother. If he knew about us, he’d kill both me and you.” I sighed, crossing my arms.

“He has a girlfriend. Why can’t you have a boyfriend?” Jinhwan asked, scrunching his eyebrows.

“It’s not that simple for him. I’m his little sister, he still see’s me as a twelve year old girl.” I explain, pouting a bit,

“Does this mean we have to keep everything on the down low?” Jinhwan asked, sighing.

“Yes, but that means we can sneak around. It’s more fun that way, right?” I asked, walking close to him, and putting my arms around his neck.

“I guess so.” He smiled, leaning down, and planting his lips on mine.

“Ahem.” Someone fake coughed from beside us.

Jinhwan and I looked to see who it was, and were met with an angry looking Kai.

“Kai, I-I was just-”

“Practically sucking his face off!?” He said, grabbing my wrist, and pulling back inside the building.

“I want Jinhwan in a separate car from us.” Kai said to Luna, as we walked passed her.

“Alright.” She said, walking to Jinhwan and telling him what car he was in.

“Oh come on, this isn’t fair.” I say, as we walked outside to the cars, and seeing Jinhwan get into the one behind ours.

“I’d rather not have him sit next to you, and start making out with you in this car.” Kai said, getting inside.

So much for keeping this on the DL, now Kai will never let me anywhere near him.

“You can have a girlfriend, but I can’t have a boyfriend?” I asked, repeating the question Jinhwan asked me earlier.

“I’m older.” Kai says, giving me a look.

“So?” I say, defensively.

“”And, you were practically sucking his face off, like a leach.” Kai said, overreacting like he always does.

I rolled my eyes, and looked out the window, with my arms crossed.

“It was probably just a little kiss. You’re only acting like this because you’re overprotective, loosen up a bit.” Luna tried to reason with him. I can tell she was trying to get me to like her, but it wasn’t going to work.

“This is stupid.” I mumbled, letting out a sigh, as the car started moving.

“At least you get to sit next to me.” Junhoe said, with a wide smile on his face.

“Not the time, June.” I said, rolling my eyes at him.

“I didn’t know you were letting people call you that again.” Luna said, looking back at him in the rear view mirror.

“She only calls me that when she’s aggravated. It’s not a big deal.” Junhoe shrugged.

“It was a big deal when we used to call you that.” Luna said, a bit quietly, but we could still hear her.

“Well, you guys did it all the time, it was annoying.” Junhoe rolled his eyes.

“We did it all the time because it was cute, you’re the one who flipped out on us and got mad when we called you that.” Luna said,in defense.

“Just drop it, it’s not important.” Junhoe said, crossing his arms.

~~~

After a few hours of driving, we stopped so we could all get proper rest. When we got out of the car, Luna and Kai went and started talking to the rest of the group, trying to get a plan for what to do next. She still really bothers me. I can’t exactly put my finger on what it is, though. Let’s just call it instinct for now.

“Don’t worry about her. She’ll take good care of him.” Jinhwan said, slipping his hand into mine, and kissing my cheek.

“I don’t like her.” I said, still looking at the two. “This is the first girlfriend he’s had in a long time. I don’t want to see him heart broken again.” I sigh.

Jinhwan moves a strand of my hair behind my ear, and pulls me into a back hug. “I think you just need some time with her. She’s not as bad as she seems, I promise. Besides, it looks like they really like each other.” He said, glancing over at Kai and Luna. “Do you think she makes him happy?” Jinhwan asked.

“I mean, do you see his smile?” I said, noticing how much he’d been smiling lately.

“Then let them be. He needs as much happiness as he can get in this world.” Jinhwan says, resting his chin on my shoulder.

“It’s just that, he’s my big brother, you know? Since our parents died, he’s the only thing I’ve got.” I say, looking at the ground. Jinhwan turned me around, so I’d face him.

“You have me now... And Junhoe, and Bobby, and B.I.-”

“I get it, Jinhwan.” I laughed, looking up at him, and giving him a kiss on the lips.

“There’s a building not far from here, we can make sure it’s clear, and spend the night there.” Luna orders, gaining everyone’s attention.

“I’ll go. Chen, Sehun, come with me.” Xiumin says, walking in the direction of the building.

“Be careful.” Star called after them. Xiumin gives a small smile, before continuing to the building, leaving us to finish making a plan.

After a few minutes, Xiumin and the rest of the guys came back. “It’s clear.” They confirm. We all head that way, and set up camp in the abandoned building.

“Who wants to take watch tonight?” Luna asks, looking around at all of us.

“(Y/N) and I will.” Jinhwan volunteers, holding my hand.

“No I-” Kai started to protest, but Luna spoke up.

“Okay, great.” She said, clapping her hands together, quietly. “Kai, will you come help me with something?” She asks, pulling him away from the group.

“Well, I’m exhausted. See you guys in the morning.” Junhoe said, finding a spot on the ground, and laying down, followed by everyone else.

Soon, everyone was asleep, and it was just me and Jinhwan up.

“It seems like it’s going to be pretty chill tonight.” I say, looking around. It’s really quiet, which is unusual. Normally, there’s the sound of moaning from the infected from outside, or the sound of someone bickering, trying to be quiet. However, tonight is completely silent.

“Let’s go outside for a bit.” Jinhwan suggests, taking a hold of my hand.

“But we have to keep watch.” I say, unsure, slowly standing up.

“It’s fine. It’s dead tonight.” Jinhwan said, raising his eyebrows so I would get his joke.

“Okay, that was bad.” I laughed.

“Come on.” Jinhwan led me outside, and leaned against the building. “You can actually see the stars tonight. It’s so clear out.” He said, looking up at the sky.

“Okay, we are not gonna watch the stars like some cliche chick flick.” I say, laughing. 

Jinhwan pouts for a second, but joins in with the laughter. We were silent for a moment, before he looks at me. 

“Does your brother hate me?” He asked.

“It’s not that he hates you, he just hates the fact that you’re dating me. He’ll get used to it, don’t worry.” I reassure him. He looks down at our intertwined hands, and sighs. “Look, it’s fine.” I say, leaning in to kiss him. Right before our lips met, a scream echoed in the night air. 

“Shit.” Jinhwan says, running back in the building. By the time we got back in, one of the infected takes a huge bite out of Yunhyeong. How it got in here is beyond me. 

“Shitshitshitshit.” He curses, as he struggles to get away from the thing. Jinhwan grabs the closest gun, and shoots it in the head.

“Yunhyeong!!” Luna yells, running over to us, and aiding to him. “(Y/N), what happened!?” She asked, looking up at me.

“It was my fault. I led her outside.” Jinhwan explains, seeing that I couldn’t answer.

“What the fuck!?” Donghyuk yells towards me.Donghyuk and Yunhyeong were best friends, and now he’s bit. Donghyuk lunges at me, and knocks me down to the ground. 

“Get off of her!” Kai yells, just as Donghyuk pulls a knife on me. Him and Jinhwan pulled him off of me.

Kai immediately came to my side, and helped me up. At this point, I was a crying mess. “Are you okay?” He asked. I nod my head, and hid behind him.

“You just let him die! You were the one on watch! And you let that thing in!!” Donghyuk yelled.

“Hey man, don’t yell at my sister.” Kai said, glaring at him. 

“It wasn’t her fault, it was mine. I’m the one who took her outside, okay Donghyuk? If you want to blame someone, blame me.” Jinhwan said, trying to calm him down, but he wasn’t listening.

“I never liked you. I knew you were bad when you first got here.” Donghyuk said.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen.” I say, between sobs.

“You killed him. You’re the reason he’s dead!” Donghyuk practically screams, only making me cry harder. Kai holds me close as I cry.

“Dude, what the fuck? Cut it out!” Kai yells back at Donghyuk.

Junhoe takes DOnghyuk away from us, to get him to stop yelling, and causing a commotion. After he was out of the room, everyone was trying to help calm me down. 

“I basically murdered him.” I cry.

“No, (Y/N), you didn’t. Accidents happen.” Kai tried to reassure me,

“Accident? He’s dead, and it’s my fault.” I said. Kai stroked my hair, until I calmed down a bit. 

“It’s not your fault.” He said in a soothing voice.

“Please stop blaming yourself, (Y/N).” Jinhwan said, rubbing my back. I look at him, and he wipes away one of the tears falling down my cheek. “I shouldn’t have taken you outside, I’m sorry.” He said, starting to cry as well. 

I took a deep breath, and wiped away the rest of my tears, trying my best to stay calm now. 

“You should probably get some rest. We’ll deal with Yunhyeong.” Luna says.

If she tells me to do one more thing, I swear. I thought, before laying down. It took a while, but everyone finally went back to sleep, Baekhyun and Lay taking watch now. I look beside me, and see Kai and Luna close together, Kai’s arm draped across her. I sigh, and got up, going over to Jinhwan. I laid down, and cuddled up next to him.

“What’re you doing?” Jinhwan asked, in a gruff voice.

“Nothing, just go back to sleep.” I say. He closed his eyes, and pulled me closer to him.

“I’m sorry.” Jinhwan mumbled, wrapping his arms around me.

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t say anything. I just closed my eyes, and allowed myself to finally fall asleep. 

[owly-sims]

Gameplay Replies

I’m so annoyed! I worked on a document for like four hours last night, saved it to my Google Drive, and then printed it at work today. BUT it hadn’t synced so I printed an old version THEN I saved it, thus undoing all of my work. And the document was for a meeting so I looked like a real jackass (luckily it was a one-on-one with my sympathetic boss). So now I have a bunch of work to redo. I just wanted to vent.

Anyway, some replies to my random legacy stuff. I have two weeks of legacy gameplay queued, so I hope you enjoy it! (if not, you can block “Bee Legacy”)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset“Nikolas got arrested! And look, that alien UFO he failed to steal is...”

Richie Rich Haha!!! I remember when I was that age and going to see The Dark Crystal - we queued for hours and got to the entrance to be told "It's full sorry!" So we went to Mcdonalds instead :D OK day 5/10 :D

Omg, The Dark Crystal—I saw that when I was about six and it made me cry. XD Still a good movie. And McDonald’s is the next best thing to a movie (as a kid, of course).

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset“Whilst out on a jog, Nikolas notices an unsecured police cruiser. And...”

Let's hope he doesn't try and make a get-away in it; he'd be faster on a cycle :3

Seriously! I’m imagining one of those bicycle cops easily overtaking him and then beating him (because I live in the US).

simblu replied to your photoset“Whilst out on a jog, Nikolas notices an unsecured police cruiser. And...”

This may be WAAY to personal, but I have a relative whole stole a police car once..maybe he could give your guy lessons? *snicker*

simblu replied to your photoset“Whilst out on a jog, Nikolas notices an unsecured police cruiser. And...”

TOO, not "to"..I know me some gramma and spelin.

Wow, I’m torn between “wow, that’s crazy!” and “wow, that’s badass!” Honestly I don’t think it’d be TOO hard to steal a police car, because I’ve noticed several times that officers have left them running or unlocked.

Not that I’ve ever thought about stealing a police car…

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset“When an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object! Damn, they pathed...”

The smell of sweet running success!! :D

But I didn’t want success! I wanted them to run into each other!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo“Idk why, but I LOVE this little fist pump thing sims do when they...”

Ha! Have you seen the way they do those moves with different traits like dramatic and stuff - so funny

I haven’t! I honestly haven’t played that many traits. I need to make some sims with traits I’ve never used (dramatic is one of them).

twinsimskeletons replied to your photo“Idk why, but I LOVE this little fist pump thing sims do when they...”

"rad" yes that is what I, and the kids, say these days

twinsimskeletons replied to your photo“Idk why, but I LOVE this little fist pump thing sims do when they...”

I'm joking i have no idea what the kids say these days.

Um, I teach 18 year olds so I’m fairly certain they say “rad.” Also, “tubular,” “cowabunga,” and “gnarly.” /nod.

twinsimskeletons replied to your photo“You’re supposed to throw the dart at the board, Nikolas, not at your...”

Imagine how much that would hurt though

I know! He’s takin’ it like a champ tho.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset“Lark’s income roll for her generation is mixologist, which I wouldn’t...”

Oh dear! Didn't know that could happen!

I think it was actually old age that did her in, because her ghost was gray.

acquiresimoleons replied to your photoset“Lark’s income roll for her generation is mixologist, which I wouldn’t...”

Lmao she literally died waiting for a drink to arrive

I imagine her saying “c’mon missy, I ain’t getting’ any younger!” And then she croaked.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo“TAG YOU’RE IT”

Hahahaha!!!

blythelyre replied to your photo“TAG YOU’RE IT”

oh, hell no!

What, you don’t wanna play tag with the grim reaper?? :D

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset“All the poses I’ve made so far, minus some of the variations. I’m...”

It looks to me like the expressions are pretty... expressive? (Sorry I couldn't think of anything xD) like the emotions are pretty well displayed in most? (The couples do look a bit shocked or something haha) overalls you did an awesome job!

Thanks! The surprised an sad expressions look okay imo, it’s just the happy ones. I’m hoping to release them soonish.

simblu replied to your photoset“All the poses I’ve made so far, minus some of the variations. I’m...”

I never use poses myself but I'm sure others will love them

I hope so! I use poses all the time, but I rarely use the ones I make so I hope other people get a lot of use out of them.

futurecarrie replied to your photoset“All the poses I’ve made so far, minus some of the variations. I’m...”

I get that it's happy in the last one ^-^. It looks like she was expecting a negative but it's positive and she can't believe what she's seeing *nods*

futurecarrie replied to your photoset“All the poses I’ve made so far, minus some of the variations. I’m...”

Oh! Couples pose! Oh I read it as "you couldn't tell the last one was happy". This is why poorly me shouldn't be allowed the internet xD

Ha, I was a little confused for a second. I’m gonna work on that last one too because she needs to look absolutely STOKED imo.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset“All the poses I’ve made so far, minus some of the variations. I’m...”

These are really fantastic - and can be used for more than just pregnancy testing; letters, a ring, a baby hamster :p all of these could fit with these poses. Nice job!

Oh wow, a ring could possibly work with some of them…I’ll need to test it out. A baby hamster would probably be a little squished, though.

sims3hasstoppedworking replied to your post“I’m getting close to 150 followers, so I want to start working on a...”

Honestly I always feel like there's almost 0 Ambitions EP tattoos

I actually have some AMB tattoos in my projects folder, so I’ll work on those next!

sims3hasstoppedworking replied to your photoset“A few screenshots from the beginning of gen 2 of my random legacy....”

ALWAYS STEAL THE MOST PRECIOUS GOODS

Seriously, NOT garlic! He should have at least gone for avocados. Those are way more expensive.

twinsimskeletons replied to your link“2.4. What If?”

YAY MORE!... I promise I'll use it as a reward for work again :3

Thank you! You’re such a good student. :D

simblu replied to your post“Late Replies Pt. 1”

Nice hair color

Thanks! It doesn’t look that nice in real life! :D

declarations-of-drama replied to your post“Late Replies Pt. 2”

Nice new Avi! It's you but it's not you! :D

I just needed a digital change, you know? My digital look was getting so passe.

hyperkaos replied to your post“Late Replies Pt. 2”

pods don't have cockles *ahem*

Um, how do you know so much about my anatomy?? ;D

[canaryatlaw]

So today was okay. Better than yesterday I suppose. The morning was just kind of.....weird. I was out of it for like, a while, but we'll get there. Got up at 7 to my alarm, ate breakfast (still no milk, so oatmeal, eggos, and probably a cookie again). Got on the bus, got to work and didn't set off the metal detector for like, the third time ever haha though it might have something to do with the bitchy sheriff not working it at that time. So I get to my office and look for my supervisor or any of the calendar attorneys but I can't find them, so I just go to my office and resume working on my timeline for TPR. Sometime around then I realized I left my lunchbox on my kitchen table. Whoops. So I worked for a little and then people show up and I was informed there was a team meeting that morning that I accidentally didn't get notified about haha but I can obviously come to them from now on. The paralegal on our calendar is this super nice guy and he brought me a tamale because he brought them for the meeting and I wasn't really able to eat it but I still very much appreciated it. Sometime around here is where things get trippy. I start with the getting cold and not being able to focus so I put my coat on and set my alarm for some amount of time I can't recall to try and get my powernap in. I think I woke up before the alarm but still felt out of it. I tried to work on my stuff but it was like, incredibly difficult to actually do because I was constantly typing stuff wrong and having to redo it. I remember it turning 12 pm and thinking I need to go get food if I want to have a lunch, but then I just didn't....and I don't really know what happened for the next hour because my next memory is my phone ringing at 1 pm and having my supervisor tell me we'd leave for the client interview at 1:30. So I was pretty alert at that point, and worked for a bit before heading out. This was actually my first child interview, and there's like a form with questions and shit you're supposed to ask but like, obviously a lot of placements are different so not everyone is gonna apply. This was kind of an odd one because she's only been in the placement a little over a week, so there's only so much she can say about it. So we get there and she's this adorable smiling 5 year old girl that you would never knew was removed from her mother's custody two weeks ago. It was immediately obvious that she was very strongly bonded to the foster parent, saying she was her "Titi", and that her "grandma" (FP's mom) lived upstairs and her sister and sisters son (FP's daughter and grandson) live downstairs. She's been in this house since May 2nd but it became quite clear she had decided she wanted to stay here. So we do the interviewing, and she's a 5 year old so she can't stay in one place, and she answers questions with things like "there are no rules here!!" when asked about discipline haha but I didn't think it was that bad, we got the important info. When we brought up her mom, who hasn't visited since she was placed there, and she said she would like to see her mom, but made it very clear that she still wanted to stay in the foster home forever. According to the foster parent, she hadn't mentioned her mother or anyone from her life "before" since coming to live there. After we had our answers we did a little tour of the house, and then I kind of ended up entertaining her while my supervisor spoke with the foster parent. So she showed me her toys, then went on the iPad and showed me what she was watching- scenes from Supergirl. She had on the one from 2x01 where Kara and Clark both save the space shuttle from crashing together and like this scene made me cry when I watched it on tv so I'm like dammit Rachel keep it together this is not the place lol but I managed to contain myself. And she was saying how much she liked Supergirl, so I asked her if she knew who Wonder Woman was, and she said no so I showed her the most recent trailer and she was awe-struck. She loved it so much and kept saying she can't wait that long for the movie to come out (I figured the trailer isn't all that graphically violent, and I mean, not for nothing but this kid has probably seen a lot worse). She really liked seeing Diana as a little girl and at one point where little Diana was walking with her mother she said "oh, she's going somewhere with her mom, that's so sweet" and she like, wiped her eye. I don't think she actually like, teared up, but it definitely stuck out to me that she would make that kind of comment- that that would be something she would envy after her own experience with her mother (if you missed last night's post, the cliff notes version of this case was mom is a heroin addict who was living with a convicted sex offender, they were living in what was essentially an abandoned building with no hear and holes in the floor, and there were claims of physical abuse and the mom constantly referring to her daughter as "that little bitch" and other such things, so yeah). I'm glad I got to interact with her in a more relaxed environment though, she was always very sweet and happy, insisting she doesn't get scared or sad, or anything negative. She hasn't been to any school but when I said to type in Wonder Woman her finger hovered over the W and she asked if that was the letter it started with, which I thought was fairly bright for someone who hasn't been to school at all and apparently doesn't even like, know her numbers. But yeah, that was about it for the visit. Hopefully this won't be the last I see of the case and I'll get to see her again further down the line. So on the car ride back we talked about what we thought, my boss said she thought how much she clung to the foster parent so quickly was definitely an abandonment issue, and lord knows that will only get worse if this placement doesn't work out long term (because tbh in all likelihood she's not going home). The foster parent said she was open to adopting though, so I really hope she gets one of the rare happy endings that come out of our court building. Got back and it was like 3:45, so I typed up the interview with all the information and started doing some other stuff before heading out around 5. Bus was slower than usual because it was rainy and traffic wasn't great, and I didn't end up getting off it until 6:35 which wasn't great because I had PT at 7. Thankfully it's only 2 blocks over so I just ran in and changed, ate like two cookies (I mean, I had to eat something, it might as well be cookies) and ran back out again. It hadn't really been raining when I got off the bus but when I went to walk over at 6:50 it had started enough to use an umbrella. PT was fine, I was working with a different person partially because my schedule changed and partially because my normal guy is in Europe right now lol. He was nice though and we had some good conversations, and I definitely feel like I'm getting better with the exercises. I'm gonna end up going tomorrow again because it was the only place I could fit it into my schedule, and the appointment is at 6 so I'll have to uber home to make it but oh well. By the time I left PT, the rain had increased to torrential downpour levels. Like I can't remember the last time I was stuck in rain this bad. I wanted to pick up milk for my damn Cocoa krispies, so I stopped in the little produce store that was right on my route home and grabbed some of that. It was cute, seemed to have some Mexican products and candy and such. So I take my half gallon of milk (no bag, because bags now cost 7 cents in Chicago), my purse, and my umbrella and head out into the rain. And I'm just getting soaked. I'm wearing sneakers and leggings because I was in PT of course, so my sneakers end up getting totally soaked through, and my leggings did as well up to my knees. All I could think was all the people passing me were probably thinking "who's the schmuck that decided they needed to run out and get milk in the middle of a torrential downpour???? 😂😂 me, apparently. I was very thankful when I made it home and immediately ditched my shoes, socks, and leggings for dry clothing. Glad that was over. I watched Arrow, since I'm still hanging in there for the season finale with Katrina and Katie, and the episode was pretty meh. I wasn't terribly into the whole Oliver and Thea dealing with the fact that their dad did bad things storyline cuz like, wasn't the entire basis of the list making up for the sins he's committed? Like to me that only adds to the reasons Oliver became the green arrow. And I'm sorry but I have to bitch about the Rene child custody plotline because it was SO ridiculously inaccurate I actually wanted to scream at my tv screen. Their entire premise was total bullshit. He doesn't want to go because it's a hearing and he'll have to testify? Well no shit Sherlock, did you think they were just gonna hand her over to you because you showed up? And then he wouldn't do it because it would traumatize Zoe- ummmmmmm, here's the thing- the kids aren't in the damn courtroom for any of that. Like, ever, especially not at that age. I know judges that will do pretty much whatever is humanly possible to stop a kid from having to take the stand or watch a parent testify. Like that entire thing was 100% bullshit and I was so done with it. Meh. I already sent Guggenheim a somewhat passive more aggressive ask about it but I doubt he'll answer whether they actually did any research because their entire thing was bs, lol. Anyway. I finished watching that around 9:20, at which point I switched over to designated survivor which was on currently. I can't say I was into this week's episode as much as I have been with the others lately. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't like totally amazing. And I mean, every show is gonna have episodes like that. I thought the UN plot was interesting if a bit odd, and then of course the whole al-sakar thing when it was a question of lying to the people and a potential national security issue, like that is a super interesting question to be asking so I applaud them for that. After that I just turned the news on and then watched a little bit for friends before getting in the shower. I got new shampoo and conditioner in the mail today because I saw this brand in a Facebook ad (I'm a total sucker, I know) that like makes custom formula shampoos based on the type of your hair and the things you're looking for in a shampoo and conditioner, and they mix it up and send it to you. So I used that for the first time and I guess we'll see how it works out. I have color protection as one of my goals obviously, and it doesn't have any sulfate a so that's a good sign, but the instructions were also like "use daily" and I was like lol I've literally been washing my hair once a week for months now, washing it daily is not gonna help my color. I'll have to test that though after I dye my hair, which I need to do soon. OKAY, I think that's all I had to say so I will now retire to bed. Goodnight my lovely friends. Be blessed.

[traumatizedsuggestion]

pt1 of v i think i've been abused. sometimes i'm pretty sure but other times i'm just like nope, and lately it's been a lot of nope because i asked my girlfriend who's been abused about it and she said that she doubts anything happened to me because she remember everything about what happened to her and it doesn't seem likely that i could just forget. could this be all it is? i feel like maybe because there's so much that i don't remember and that doesn't make sense.

pt2 of v i don’t remember who he is or where i was i just have memories of things he said and made me do and smells and sounds and stuff i feel like maybe my brain is making it all up as an excuse for how disgusting my brain is or something, but i’m confused because there’s so much i remember and it all feels so real i just don’t understand they’re memories theyre like memories just incomplete i don’t know how to explain it i don’t even remember how old i was

pt3 of v i guess you can tell from this but i’m really unsure what to think. i go back and forth telling myself it wasn’t real, it was real, and i don’t know what to do. for a while i didn’t think it could happen because i thought my parents never left me with strangers or anything but apparently they did? my mom told me i did childcare stuff and they’ve let neighbors watch me and i blocked all that out? that must mean something, right? i don’t know what to think

pt 4 of v ( i might have skipped pt3 idk ) it could be relatives too is what scares me. or it could be nothing. i don’t know i don’t know on one hand i feel like im overreacting but on the other hand, im not even high functioning? i’ve showed signs of sexual abuse since i was a kid i think but no one ever noticed or said anything to me so i’m wondering if they were really signs or just normal things? i don’t know

pt 5 of v i remember things he said so vividly. i remember feelings and smells and how much everything hurt and it comes back all the time, i have panic attacks when people touch me ( sometimes they’re more subtle, sometimes they’re obvious depends on who ) because it makes me feel like i’m back there with him and certain sex stuff grosses me out like blowjobs and saying daddy and sweetheart and stuff because those are things i remember i don’t know what i’m asking im sorry

pt 6 of v i guess i just want to know if you think im valid? i always feel like i’m hijacking stuff now because i don’t know if it actually happened or all that happened, i just feel like it did but im missing so much memory that has to be for a reason right? my girlfriend thinks it’s offensive for me to post things about csa because i’m not a real victim and i know i should listen because she is but i just don’t understand any of this i have all these memories and they effect everything

part 6 of v i guess i just want to know if you think im valid i always feel like im hijacking stuff bc i don’t know if it really happened or all that happened i just have these memories but im missing so much my gf thinks it’s offensive for me to classify myself as an abuse survivor this might be a repeat but tumblr said parts 6,7, & 8 didn’t send so i’m redoing them idk sorry i want to get help but i’m a minor so i cant without parental permission & they would never believe me and itd be hell

part 7 of v they touch every aspect of my life so how can they be fake? i don’t understand. i want to tell my parents so i can get help but i don’t think i can. i don’t think anyone would believe me, i don’t even believe me and if they did they would change their minds once they knew i didn’t remember everything and they’re horrible when they talk about survivors of assault there’s just nothing there’s no help and i want to talk about it i need to but i can’t

part 8 of v/end i cant get help for anything my mental health has been terrible but im 15& i dont have great parents so i can’t do therapy or medication or anything i cant talk to a counselor because they tell about suspected abuse&suicidal idealization and thats all i have in me. all i can think about is him touching me and making the pain go away. i’m sorry for how long this was it’s okay if you don’t want to answer&im sorry if this is offensive since you’re a survivor i didn’t mean it to be

pt ?? of v idk i just want to know if i sound valid i guess i ended with parts 6,7& 8 but tumblr deleted them imsorry

i really think your memories are valid. i’m not a professional, though, so take what i say with a grain of salt. it sounds like you’ve just repressed memories, and i think it’s valid because my memory of the first time i was raped is very similar; i only know who it was because i remember the day it happened and I have been told who I was with that day. as far as what your girlfriend said about how she doesnt think you’ve been abused because she remembers her abuse and you don’t, that’s a load of crap. every survivor experiences the aftereffects differently. you may never remember what happened to you, but i would strongly recommend seeking professional help to see if you can figure it out with assistance. i know that seems impossible for you right now because of your situation but in my experience counselors haven’t told about abuse when i’ve confided in them, and maybe if you tell your parents that you’re really worried they’ll get you some help. i’m not sure. good luck, and i hope things get better