#awkward sherlock

[always-too-many-daisies]

03x04 The Second Stain aka The Waaaheeey episode

[jarrows]

Ah, Lestrade. I've always had a bit of a soft spot for him, and it only got bigger with the recent reread.

[coy-lee]

Some dork felt the urge to rewatch BBC Sherlock again and threw herself back down a rabbit hole.

Mycroft is legitimately one of my favorite fictional peeps of all time and Mark did an amazing job playing him.

ANYWAY

Just a smol offering of my current work~

[voilaammayi]

john watson appreciation text posts collection:

[angryducktimemachine]

It was worth a wound - it was worth many wounds.

[ID: a digital drawing of Holmes and Watson. Watson is sitting with Holmes kneeling besides him on the ground, Watson's right leg put up on Holmes leg as Holmes dresses a wound on Watson's thigh with a focused expression. /End ID]

[helloliriels]

John caught himself moments too late;

A slip-up he just can't ... equate?

He'd never felt shy,

About calling a guy -

(Well, all except Sherlock) - his 'Mate'?

@calaisreno may prompt: AWKWARD

This may limerick madness is now on Ao3!✨️

@johnlocky @chinike @rhasima @barachiki (my new nemesis!) @fluffbyday-smutbynight @totallysilvergirl @friday411 (may is for limericks!) @jolieblack @amyreadsandstresses @a-victorian-girl @chriscalledmesweetie @sarahthecoat @inevitably-johnlocked @raina-at @strawberrywinter4 @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear @khorazir @kettykika78 @iwlyanmw @lisbeth-kk @gregorovitch-adler @john-smiths-jawline (for when you get back!) @jobooksncoffee @solarmama-plantsareneat @discordantwords @keirgreeneyes @ghostofnuggetspast (fellow limerick-ee!) @naefelldaurk @meetinginsamarra @thetimemoves @7-percent @weeesi @kittenmadnessandtea @dinner--starving @dapetty @bs2sjh @theofficialinternetloner @khorazir @safedistancefrombeingsmart @janetm74 @chained-to-the-mirror @thalialunacy @bluebellofbakerstreet @thegildedbee @gaylilsherlock @ninasnakie @sgam76

[raina-at]

Akward

The silence is deafening. It’s also unnatural.

Normally there would be banter and good-natured ribbing and small talk about the weather, maybe plans to catch a pint.

Now silence reigns as Sherlock examines the body on the slab in Molly’s lab, the only sounds coming from Sherlock’s steps as he rounds the slab.

Lestrade is standing in a corner, arms awkwardly crossed over his chest, refusing to meet John’s eyes.

John can empathise. He’d very much like to not see Lestrade again for the next six months. Or possibly longer. However long it will take for the awkwardness to dissipate, and for the images no doubt seared into Lestrade’s retinas to fade.

Molly is looking from John to Lestrade, vibrating with barely contained curiosity.

“Oh for god’s sake, can you lot grow up!” Sherlock has straightened from examining the corpse and is glaring at the three of them. He gestures between himself and John. “Lestrade, you are an adult. You know that what two consenting adults do in their free time in their own home is none of your bloody business. If you did not want to walk into anything you’re obviously not mature enough to handle, you could have, I don’t know, knocked. Or phoned.”

Molly goes beet red as she looks from Lestrade, who’s pointedly gazing at the floor, to John, who’s covering his face with both hands. “You walked in on them having sex?”

Lestrade looks at Molly, aghast. “Oh my god, I wish!”

“What did you do?” Molly asks John, obviously deeply fascinated.

John rolls his eyes. “Privacy, Molly. Ever heard of the concept?”

Molly turns to Sherlock, who sighs, exasperated. “Am I the only one who cares about the dead body in the room?”

“She’ll keep,” Molly says, pinning Sherlock with a penetrating gaze. “Wait, does this have anything to do with the glitter nail polish you borrowed from me?”

“Please don’t remind me,” Lestrade says, shuddering. 

Sherlock, irate, turns to Lestrade. “Not that it’s any of your bloody business, actually, but it seems to have escaped your pea brain, Gavin, that we have a daughter. A daughter who wants to wear nail polish. How am I supposed to recommend a brand without having thoroughly tested it beforehand? Do you understand nothing about science, and even less about being a parent?”

“Oi, I’ve raised two children to be moderately functional adults, and all of that without ever painting my husband’s toenails.”

“I think Sherlock has a point about the dead body, actually,” John chimes in, wanting very much to end this discussion. “And the whole ‘none of your business’ bit, actually, too.”

“Serves me right for not phoning ahead, I suppose,” Lestrade mutters, still not quite meeting John’s eyes. He gestures at the slab. “Point taken, though. Dead body and all.”

John steps up to the slab. “Discoloration suggests asphyxiation. What did the tox screen say, Molly? Molly?”

“Hm? What?” Molly asks, her eyes still fixated on Sherlock’s feet. 

“Molly. Tox screen.”

“Hm. Not done yet,” she says absently, still staring at Sherlock’s feet. “Can I—”

“Molly! Privacy!” John yells.

“Yeah, that’s my cue, text me anything I need to know,” Lestrade says and all but flees the scene.

Sherlock’s already typing on his phone. “Sorry to disappoint, Molly, but it’s actually John’s feet. His toes are more like Watson’s for obvious reasons. Come along, John, we’re quite done here.”

John walks out after his husband, fervently wishing he could scrub this entire encounter from his brain, especially Molly’s disappointed expression.

“Let’s just move to another country,” he says when he catches up to Sherlock outside.

Sherlock chuckles. “Are you really so embarrassed?”

“By what, Lestrade thinking we have a weird foot fetish, or the discovery that apparently Molly has a weird foot fetish?”

“Admittedly that last one was information I did not need to have. Still, it’s worth the temporary embarrassment if it will teach Gavin to knock.”

“See, that’s the silver lining attitude I married you for.”

“Or, we could arrange for him to actually walk in on us while having sex, just for him to realise that it could have been so, so much worse.”

“Definitely moving to another country,” John mutters. “You think Greenland is nice this time of year?”

“They have polar bears, John.”

“Might be preferable.”

“Tell you what,” Sherlock murmurs, leaning closer so he can speak directly in John’s ear. “Why don’t we go back home, and I’ll show you what I’d want Gavin to walk in on, and I can guarantee you wouldn’t even notice.”

Then Sherlock proceeds to whisper a few suggestions in John’s ear, one dirtier than the other, and by the end of them, John is hard as a rock, almost blind with arousal, and has completely forgotten what they were talking about.

“Home,” he whispers, giving Sherlock a quick and dirty kiss.

“Home,” Sherlock agrees, then grins at John. “Oh, and John? Leave the nail polish on.”

“Pervert,” John mutters affectionately. “Let’s go.”

---------

Comedy today, making up for the pain and angst of yesterday. Though you all seemed to enjoy that, so who am I to judge.

Thank you all for your kind words, by the way, I'm glad you're enjoying my very eclectic ficlets so far. I feel a bit bad for having snoozed on doing a serialised story like many of you, but I do sort of enjoy the whiplash feeling of never knowing what I'll come up with next ;-)

I'm collecting these ficlets on AO3 here, btw.

Tags under the cut as always, please let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged.

@calaisreno @jrow @totallysilvergirl @jolieblack @meetinginsamarra @peanitbear @lisbeth-kk @helloliriels @friday411 @givemesherbet-blog-blog @keirgreeneyes @salmonsown

[lisbeth-kk]

May prompts

Today's prompt is awkward.

The Luckiest Girl in the World (chapter 5)

Summary: Rosie's youngest godmother takes her shopping, but Sherlock is persistent in choosing the shop. The occasion is too important to leave it to Primark to bring out something tolerable.

Five Years Old

Molly took me shopping for THE dress, but Papa decided the shop.

“It’s too important,” he argued when Molly told him he was being silly for making her take me to Harrod’s, but he didn’t budge.

“She’s only five, Sherlock. Besides, do you know how much it’ll cost?” Molly tried to reason with him.

It turned out that it wasn’t only Dad who could be stubborn, so Harrod’s it was. 

I felt like a princess in that dress we picked. According to the woman at Harrod’s the colour was tea green. Tiny white daisies were spread over the skirt. It felt almost weightless to wear and the skirt stood out in a perfect circle when I twirled quickly. We also bought white shoes and a matching hairband. 

***

“Why is everybody crying?” I whispered to my grandfather. “Papa is only saying nice things about Dad.”

Dad and Papa had married hours earlier, and in-between dishes, there were speeches to be held apparently. It was rather tedious, though I liked listening to Papa and Dad pledging their love for each other. That being said, I already knew this, so it was most likely for the guests benefit they had to repeat it. And Papa hated repeating himself… 

I know better now, obviously, and I totally understand why people were crying. Both Dad and Papa seemed to have forgotten about their guests, and focused on the other man entirely when they spoke about how they met etc. Papa seeked me out and urged me to stand on my chair when he spoke about me though. I ran over to hug him when he lost his voice.

“My precious girl,” he whispered when he knelt in front of me and held me tight.

I tear up every time I think about that moment, not to mention when I see it on tape.

***

Papa wrote a waltz for Dad, and when he played the violin, I danced around the floor in Dad’s arms. When Papa lowered his bow, the quintet started playing the waltz again, and then Dad and Papa danced. Greg Lestrade offered to dance with me like Dad had done, but I wanted to watch my parents. 

When I looked over at my uncle, I saw that he followed every dance move, and his eyes were slightly soft. I even thought I spotted some moisture, but that might have been the light.

***

I fell asleep on my uncle’s lap, but I woke when Dad and Papa came to kiss me goodbye.

“You be a good girl, and listen to Molly and Nana while we’re away, sweetheart,” Dad said sternly, but the stars in his eyes, softened the lecture.

“No experiments in my absence, Watson,” Papa said mock serious. 

Before he stood, he held me tight, breathed me in and whispered with a quiver in his voice: “I’ll miss you, my heart.” 

The awkward moments that had been avoided up until now, at least to my knowledge, started when Greg came over to see the newlyweds off. His pronunciation was a bit slurred at that point, and both uncle Myc, Dad and Papa shushed him when he wished them a fabulous six holiday.

His description puzzled me. I thought Dad and Papa were going on something called ahoneymoon. How the number six fit into that, I couldn’t fathom. Were they to visit six different places, or…

“You will figure it out in due course,” uncle Myc said with a blushing face. “Now, shall we dance one last time before I bring you and Nana home? It seems like a certain major needs some urgent rescuing.”

I looked over at the dance floor where Nana was showing off her dance skills, clinging to Dad’s old friend. He was sweating quite profusely in his uniform, and his eyes looked slightly panicked.

“Nana has a good time,” I pondered. “Papa says she was a bur... burlesque dancer when she was young. Is that burl…”

Uncle’s blush deepened and he cut me off by clearing his throat and muttering something about reminding his brother to watch his mouth around little girls.

Also available on AO3

Tags in the replies.

[ceaselesswwatch3r]

dsvagivHbcvnvljkvj i don't think anyone understands. i am OBSESSED with sherlock & co

[yesimadeanotherblogfuckoff]

i need mariana or sherlock to smack john upside his head when he starts saying shit like that again

[ghostdrinkssoup]

moriarty and sherlock are criminal x investigator written by straight people and hannibal and will are criminal x investigator written by gay people hope that helps

[ghostofnuggetspast]

Awkward Aggravation

There once was a man with a phone

Who decided he worked best alone

When the Woman, she texted

They're awkward, affected

And John's memorized a new moan.

@calaisreno

@totallysilvergirl

@friday411

[marsontherocks]

Me listening to this episode of Sherlock and co(I'm severely allergic to 2nd hand embarrassment):

[voilaammayi]

John Watson saying you join me and my companion/colleague/friend/flat mate while the only thing I can think of is oh please cut the bullshit.

Companion is already the gayest word in existence and yet you want to salvage yourself by flat mate in a desperate try of not using roommate which is actually nothing more than just the second gayest word in existence and you and I both know it.

Who do you think you’re fooling John, my beloved sweet summer child, only yourself I’m afraid.

[bananonbinary]

goddd ive said before but jeremiah royalpains is one of the best written autistic characters of all time, i love him so so so much. there is NO way the actor (and writers for that matter) didnt talk to real autistic people to get that shit down. his touch aversion, his facial expressions...in his very first appearance he's transparently honest in a job interview and the fact that he doesnt understand why that's a problem is so painfully visceral to me i felt it in my soul. he raises his hand to ask questions. he offers fun facts in lieu of conversation. i would die for him.

[coldflasher]

was rewatching the pilot again yesterday for fic reasons and thinking again about the sherlock-style screen annotations they had when barry was doing CSI work that they literally only did in the first ep and then never revisited again, presumably because they realized it'd be far too much effort to work out the details on such a precise level

and thinking about like. that barry allen with the hyper-precise exact measurements that he did by eye (with joe shaking his head in awe so you know that he's a CSI supergenius) vs. the leonard snart who timed his heists to the exact nanosecond (which again, presuming they ditched because it's a logistical nightmare to write dialogue that nitpicky and obsessive, and would be such a fucking pain to do on a week-to-week basis). like. yet another reason they are soulmates tbh. is audhd4autistic a thing the same way t4t is a thing? if it isn't then i'm making it a thing