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psiroller · 6 months ago

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gaymers preview

i blacked out and what is this

au where everyone is playing an mmo that simulates dungeon meshi world but theyre all regular dudes named like larry and charles and stuff. the worst thing they do in this excerpt is cuss. im going to go finish chapter 4 but a friend needed a juicy carrot dangled in their face to finish their job applications. i am the picture of benevolence

cw: excessive gamer references and lingo

“Sorry, guys,” Laios mumbled into his crisp, high-fidelity mic. “I drew aggro early again.”

Chilchuck’s sigh came out in a raspy crackle. “We’re four rooms behind you, moron, what am I supposed to do about that?”

“I’m kiting the dragon back to you,” said Laios, hammering at his mechanical keyboard to try to get his speed buff cast while navigating the winding dungeon instance.

“You’re what!?” Chilchuck’s busted old Logitech headset clipped due to the volume. Laios’ hand slipped and he parried needlessly, locking him in place for a fraction of a second, the overlapping footfalls of the red dragon growing louder behind him. His ears were sweating under the cuffs.

“Laios, take the path on your right and keep running,” Marcille instructed, exasperated. “This is why you stay with the party, okay?”

“But we were talking for so long, I got bored,” Laios whined.

“Then why are you on the RP server, dumbass!?” Chilchuck hissed. Laios misfired a spell, alerting the party to his presence. The spatial audio on his headphones alerted him to his party moving up the tunnel perpendicular to the path he’d been assigned, chasing after the dragon.

“Because this is the one Marcille is on, Falin,” Laios jeered. Falin sent a winking smiley in party chat.

“Don’t deflect, Laios. You’re in deep shit if you die,” Chilchuck growled. Laios’ brainwaves flatlined as the dragon caught up to him, dousing him in crustily-textured flames that obscured his character. He kept aimlessly running, finding himself sliding along a wall once the flames cleared. The dragon wound up for its deadly right-armed strike and chunked a hefty amount of his health bar. Just as he regained his bearings, the dragon galloped and slid into a tail swipe that he managed to parry—it bought him just enough time for Falin to heal him, a glittery golden glow enveloping the screen. Laios slumped into the headrest of his gaming chair and breathed.

“Oh my God, thank you thank you thank you thank you—”

Another smiley, this one without the teasing wink. One day they’d talk her into turning her mic on, but she always worried about breathing too loudly. The dragon spun in the opposite direction for its follow-up attack, staggering Laios despite another successful parry. Chilchuck’s scrawny rouge dashed in after everyone else, buffed to the nines and firing poison arrows from the mouth of the arena. Marcille hammered the dragon with a barrage of fireballs, so overleveled for this dungeon that the dragon’s fire resistance was negated by the sheer amount of damage. A bunch of pre-cooked meals appeared in his inventory, dropped onto him by Senshi. The dragon turned its ire upon the dwarf, being within melee range, and hit him with a jet of flame—his health dropped by fractions of fractions. He ate another tail swipe without moving, his stout character waving at Laios and dancing a delightful high-kicking jig. The dragon tried in vein to get him below 75% of his max health before it all healed back in a few seconds. He continued tanking all the attacks, ramming the dragon with his shield every time the cooldown reset, and Laios hopped back into the fray. They alternated taking heavy swings, keeping the dragon stunlocked and helpless as Marcille charged her nuke spell, the one that made Chilchuck’s shitty Gateway lag for minutes on end.

Ka-choom. The dragon had collapsed before the animation was completed, the particle effects whipping away to reveal the corpse, glittering to indicate there was loot to be claimed. Laios cheered along with the bombastic fanfare; he heard Falin whoop from her room next door.

“Well done, newbies,” Senshi laughed. His beard brushed against his microphone, a strangely comforting sound. “You had me worried for a second!”

“Why? It’s just a game,” Laios said, clueless. “I’d just respawn, wouldn’t I?”

“Well, for one thing, I don’t think our characters like dying very much,” Chilchuck said flatly. He’d dropped character, knowing that the night was drawing to a close.

“That, and it’s a huge hassle to run all the way from the start of the instance to come get your corpse,” Marcille huffed. “We’d have to wait for you to come back so you wouldn’t miss experience or loot… and Senshi has to log off in thirty minutes.”

“Gotta prep for the breakfast rush,” he said with grim resignation.

Laios briefly tabbed out to check his system clock. “At two in the morning?”

“Three here, son. I got to get the croissants rolled before five so they’re in the oven by five thirty, or the kids who come here to mooch off my wifi will buy something more than the cheapest coffee I have.”

“Oh.” Laios scratched his cheek. “Well, uh, have a good day at work?”

Senshi laughed, raspy and warm. “Someone’s never worked food service. Take care, everyone.” He accepted his share of the loot, giving away anything that couldn’t be crafted into a meal, and blinked out of the instance. When they emerged from the dungeon, he was long gone.

“I think I’m calling it here, too,” said Marcille. “Great work, you two. Until our next adventure!”

Her character bowed, and she too faded away.

I think this is a good stopping point, Falin typed. Laios smirked. “Oh yeah, I bet.”

>:( Don’t stay up too late, big brother! You have an exam in the morning.

Laios rolled his eyes, but he typed the emote shortcut to wave her off. Falin logged out. All that remained of his guild at this ungodly hour was Chilchuck, his character sat on the ground, likely checking the stats on the loot he’d acquired. He didn’t back out of the call; Laios could hear a long, whistling inhale, a holding of breath, and a satisfied exhale. He’d already lit up his post-raid cigarette.

“Well, uh, sorry for that,” Laios laughed. His chair squeaked as he shifted around in it. “I’m used to games where you can just run in and start pummeling the bad guys.”

Another long inhale. “What kind of games do you play? Call of Duty?”

“Ew, no,” Laios said, nose wrinkled. “I like Monster Hunter.”

Chilchuck snorted.

“What? Not good enough for you?”

“Can’t say it’s my kind of game, no,” Chilchuck said. There was a hint of a smile in his voice. “I know a girl that plays it. She loves it. But I guess I like more of a storyline in mine.”

“Ooh. Do you play JRPGs? Final Fantasy?”

Chilchuck barked out a laugh. “Final Fantasy was never my style either. I guess I prefer those old ones based on Dungeons and Dragons. That’s why I gravitated to this game.”

Laios sat his character down next to Chilchuck, loathe to log off but too tired to tackle his solo quests.

“Stuff like Divinity and Baldur’s Gate, then?”

“Yeah, Baldur’s Gate, that’s the one.” Chilchuck sounded a little brighter on the line. “So you’ve got some taste, eh?”

“Never played it.”

“Ah.” Chilchuck took another drag. “Elder Scrolls?”

“I played Skyrim,” Laios said. Chilchuck sniffed.

“Of course,” he grumbled. “Morrowind? Oblivion?”

“I always wanted Oblivion, but my mom wouldn’t let me buy it. Witchcraft.”

“That’s a shame,” Chilchuck hummed. “It’s good. A bitch to get running on modern machines, but I think it holds up.”

“How long have you been gaming?” Laios asked.

“Since the late eighties, early nineties.” Laios gasped, and Chilchuck laughed it off. The sound made Laios buzz. “Yeah, yeah, I’m old, get it out of your system.”

“That’s so cool! You’re into retro stuff?”

“I guess that’s what the stuff I grew up with counts as now,” Chilchuck sighed. “I heard someone call Aerosmith an ‘oldie’ and almost had a cardiac event.”

“You are old, then.”

“Yep. But I also got to play Fallout when it first came out. That ending was nuts. I’m glad I didn’t get spoiled for it.”

“The old, isometric Fallout games? You like those? I like Fallout.”

“Yeah. I’m guessing you played Fallout 3?”

“Shooting people’s heads off in VATS is fun,” Laios said giddily.

“Sure it is,” Chilchuck drawled, and Laios had the sinking feeling he’d given the wrong answer. “New Vegas?”

“I was never into cowboys,” Laios admitted. “Never tried it.”

Chilchuck clicked his tongue. “God. I got some things to teach you.”

Laios sat ramrod straight in his chair.

“I’d—I’d like that,” he sputtered, before he could second-guess it. There was a long pause as Chilchuck polished off the last of his cigarette, a distorted shuffling sound as he moved to stamp out the butt.

“Yeah?” Chilchuck’s voice was low and warm, the hiss of his terrible mic like the soft noise of a record player. “I guess I could dig around in my boxes and rip a few CDs for you. For the sake of education.”

Laios was no stranger to wrestling with his rig to play older games. He had a PSX emulator for Monster Rancher that he’d managed to get to read discs properly, and some old PC simulator games that they just didn’t make anymore. Yet still:

“Could you—help me set them up? On call? Sometime?”

“I don’t see why not,” Chilchuck said. “I got nothing better to do.”

#fic preview #ficroller #probably not going to do a lot with this for a while #but its been percolating #i like writing about ldrs bc i was in one for 7 years lol #we live together now :)#dungeon meshi #chilaios #laichil #dunmesh gamer au

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