#recovered correspondence of lieutenant xaden riorson

[skyfallscotland]

I’m still ruthless and monstrous and everything this world needs me to be—but there’s also a heart beating inside my chest now, and it beats for you.

[the-court-of-dreams]

ONYX STORM SPOILERS

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Quotes that KILLED ME in Onyx Storm

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1)

To the ones who don’t run with the popular crowd, the ones who get caught reading under their desks, the ones who feel like they never get invited, included, or represented. Get your leathers. We have dragons to ride.

Books have always been a safe place for me. I still remember picking up The Hobbit when I was still a kid, closing my bedroom door and going on an adventure. I'm almost 25 now and I still love going on adventures. From magic schools to institutes, hidden cities to castles, forests to enormous capitals. With cars and ships and horses and broomsticks and dragons. Every story, a new adventure. Every book, a new journey. Oh, how I love travelling!

I only ever had one friend who loves reading as much as I do and our conversations about books, the hours we spend making theories, and analysing everything that happened... they are some of my most beloved moments. ( @strovilos , you are the joy of my life) My other friends don't understand as much, it's okay. I' ve always been the kid hiding books under my desk, staying up past my bedtime with a light under the covers. So yeah... that dedication really got me.

I was invited to places, but I almost never felt included while being there. That was okay too.

I always preferred riding dragons anyway.

2)

Xaden is mine. My heart, my soul, my everything. He channeled from the earth to save me, and I’ll scour the world until I find a way to save him right back.

Wow, that didn't take long at all, huh? Straight in the fucking feels.

3)

I could reach the rank of Maven, lead armies of dark wielders against everyone we care for, and watch every vein in my body turn red as I channel all the power in the Continent, and I would still love you. What I did doesn’t change that. I’m not sure anything can.

Such a good start for me and my fucking heart. Thanks, Rebecca... I really appreciate it.

4)

If I’m to be court-martialed for helping Braxtyn defend his people, then I shall welcome the trial. All who channel from dragon and gryphon alike should flourish under the wards, and now Aretia will be that haven should one of the others ever return.

Lyra... I fucking stan!

5)

So with all the love in my heart, put your fucking uniform on, because we need you.

Look, I'm not saying that Ridoc is my favourite character in this book... but... Ridoc IS my favourite character in this book.

I died with the whole squad dynamic, but the four of them will always hold a special place in my heart, I fucking love these kids.

6)

Even hundreds of miles away, he’s still taking care of me and doesn’t even know it.

I KNEW this godsdamned book would be full of angst....BUT DID IT HAVE TO BE ALL OF IT??? DID IT REBECCA????

7)

You might be angry when you realize I didn’t wake you to say goodbye. But it’s only because I no longer fully trust my ability to walk away.

—Recovered Correspondence of His Grace, Lieutenant Xaden Riorson, Sixteenth Duke of Tyrrendor, to Cadet Violet Sorrengail

FUCK ME MAN....Come on...WHYYYYYYY????

8)

But the thought of you being out there, beyond the wards, facing down a known attack of venin, triggered something in me I’ve never felt before. It was hotter than rage, and sharper than fear, and cut deeper than helplessness, all because I couldn’t get to you.

Fuck you.

9)

I would have killed anything and anyone in that moment to reach you. No exceptions. I would have channeled every ounce of power beneath my feet without hesitation if it would have landed me at your side.

Double fuck you.

10)

If I’d been there, beyond the wards, I would have drained the very earth to its core to keep you safe.

TRIPLE FUCKING FUCK YOU!!!!

11)

Pain isn’t new to me, Jack. She’s an old friend I spend most of my days with, so I don’t mind if she sings to you.

Violet Sorrengail... you are the most badass bitch to ever badass. (I feel like that's SUCH a Remi thing to say. Fucking finally.... iykyk. Shout out to @skyfallscotland for writing fucking masterpieces. Getting notifications from you always makes my day. If any of you are into fanfcition, i STRONGLY recommend reading everything this girl has written. You can start with Fear and Flame. Thank me, and HER, later.)

12)

“We live by the Codex—” I try again.

“I live by you. When have I ever given a fuck about the Codex or the Code of Conduct?” He cradles my face and leans down, resting his forehead against mine. “I am yours and you are mine, and there’s no law or rule in this world or the next that will change that.”

I love them so much it hurts.

13)

Love of my life. You have nothing to be jealous of.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

14)

“There’s no magic here.” He tugs me against him. “No power. No lure. No taunting reminder that I can save everyone if I just reach for it and take what’s offered. It’s only…peace.”

For the first time since fetching the luminary, I seriously debate Tecarus’s offer.

When I tell you this book was PAINFUL for me....I'M NOT FUCKING KIDDING.

15)

"...Sgaeyl…" He glances up at the trees as if he can see her in the sky above us, a look of longing on his face.

If I had a dollar for everytime this book broke my fucking heart.

16)

“My consort,” Xaden replies casually. “Violet Sorrengail.”

I'm deceased.

17)

I can’t quit watching Xaden’s eyes in case their flecks change back to gold whenever I see him during Signet Sparring.

They never do.

Like my heart will never again NOT be broken for these two.

18)

“The pain. The mess. Give it to me. I’ll hold it. I know that sounds ludicrous, but I’ll find a way.” I lace our fingers. “I will hold everything you don’t want to feel because I love every part of you.”

This ship... this fucking ship...

19)

“Seems Catriona has found someone worth lagging behind for.”

I loathed her in the previous book....but gods did the poor girl go through it in this one....

20)

“There is no cure for me.” He presses a kiss to my forehead. “That’s why you have to become better than me. There’s only you.”

I seriously don't know why I'm putting myself through this torture.

21)

When things get…shitty, I hope you can look down at it and imagine us sitting there together when this is all over. That’s the vision I’m going to cling to: you and me, holding hands, looking over the city.

This right here broke whatever soul I thought I had left. It just hurts so much when the characters cling to a future that I fucking know isn't going to happen.

22)

It’s almost like this room is removed from time itself, a tiny corner of the world where we simultaneously live together yet don’t.

Rebecca literally...WHYYYYY????

23)

I didn’t reach for any form of power because even in that state, I knew it could take me back to day zero, and day zero doesn’t give me you. I clawed my way back to myself and left.

Screaming, crying, throwing up.

24)

While most deities allow temple attendants to choose their timeline of service, only two require a lifetime of dedication: Dunne and Loial. For both war and love change souls irrevocably.

For the love of Gods, please let this be some kind of clue.

25)

I love you more than this city. Do not die defending it.

Screaming. Crying. Throwing up.

26)

At some point I’ll stop looking for her, right?

I KNOW Andarna had her reasons... but my girl Violet did not deserve that after everything she's been through.

27)

His smile instantly becomes a core memory.

MY smile instantly becomes a core memory....as in I don't think I'll have one again.

28)

You’re not a weapon of destruction. You’re not venin. You’re the artery power chooses to flow through. You’re life.

I fucking ship this SO MUCH. I love me some enemies to lovers, slow burn, full of angst shit.

29)

When push comes to shove, I'm not the best of us. She is.

YES VIOLET, THAT'S YOUR BESTIE!!!!!!

30)

“That’s a little menacing,” I admit to Feirge. “Then let us be menaces,”

I ADORE multiple povs. I've been waiting for Rhi's and Imogen's pov for 3 books, and I was NOT disappointed. Wish I could have more of them though.

31)

She’ll rip the very sky apart before she and Glane accept defeat.

GO IMOGEN! GO! GO! GO!

32)

The flame of perpetual rage that lives in my chest burns hotter. Fuck that horde. Fuck the venin who ride them. Fuck that unholy vortex of a tornado at the end of the northern field, and fuck the orders to stay grounded in these winds.

FUCK! I love this girl so damn much.

33)

I’m glad it’s you with me. Parapet to Malek’s own doorstep. I’m so sorry I have to go first this time.

To be honest, I didn't really care about Quinn for three books now... but I SOBBED in these 3 pages.

34)

And you should tell him, Gen. Tell him, and you find some happy.

And the fact that she preached for my second favourite ship of the series with her dying breath??? Miss Quinn, you have my heart. I didn't care for your existence for three books, but man, did you get me in the end.

35)

“We made it a good one.”

This one cut me so fuckign deep I had to stop for a good ten minutes. I did not see it coming. I did not think I'd care. I still don't understand why I did. But I really, really did.

36)

“I’m not leaving you!” He leans in and slides his hand behind my neck. “I’m not leaving you, Imogen,” he repeats, softer this time.

If these two don't end up together, I'm gonna make it everybody's problem. I PROMISE!

37)

“You have been the gift of my life,” I tell Tairn.

I've read some theories that Tairn will die in the end... First of all...HOW DARE YOU? And second of all... REBECCA DON'T YOU DARE, I WILL-

38)

She was the first to choose me, to elevate me above all others, the first to see every ugly side of me and accept it all, and every single person in this fucking canyon will die before they remove a single one of her scales.

The fact that Xaden channeled for Violet but really turned to save Sgaeyl... I did not expect that. And although it was painful as fuck to read through... to me it was perfect and a job really well done.

39)

Shadow brings quiet. My soul departs like pieces of ash from a fire, flaking free and drifting away as power consumes the space it once inhabited. I’m no longer on the ice—I am the ice.

Xaden...baby...no....

40)

Save them, the last remaining pieces of me beg, holding on with teeth and claw to keep from being torn away, too.

I will never... ever... recover from this.

41)

“I love you.” Violet’s voice cracks the cold, and a silken thread of warmth wedges itself in the opening before it seals shut, locking it in place.

No. Wait. I grab for that thread with desperate hands, clawing to keep her as more of my pieces are blown away, lost to the void. She is warmth and light and air and love.

This was so fucking painful to read I literally have no fucking words.

44)

I love her. That is the emotion I cling to, the fire of pure power burning at the feeling’s edges, and I know if I take it any further, it will be the next and final piece to float away.

😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔

45)

“What did you do?” My head snaps toward Imogen, and a deep sense of foreboding takes root in my chest. She slowly lifts her gaze to mine.

“What you asked me to.”

How THE FUCK am I supposed to wait who-knows how long for the next damned book???

All in all, I really enjoyed this. I never got bored and I didn't mind the side missions at all.

The xaden×violet of it all shattered my heart. I definitely loved their relationship more than the previous books (It really reminded me of their dynamic from one of the best pieces of literature I've ever had the pleasure to read, a fanfiction piece called Storm in the quiet by @justallihere. She is truly the best.).

I just knew this was coming, and all of their trying would lead to this... it tore my heart apart. I love heavy angst in my books, but it hurts like a motherfucker when you have to wait for the next book in a series. I've promised myself I would never start an unfinished series ever again but oh well....

I loved the side characters so much, and I feel like I got to see them more and get to know them better in this one.

Ridoc is the best comic relief character I've read in a long, long time, and I love him so much (I almost had a heart attack when I thought the cook actually stabbed him.)

Aaric is a little shit and I'm so here for it. His exceptionally well written character was one of the highlights of the book for me.

Imogen and Garrick are my babies and I want them to end up together SO FUCKING BAD.

Also, the Drake and Mira crumbs? Chef's kiss.

I have to admit I was very fed shipping wise.

Unexpectedly, I also laughed my ass off in this book... so I'll probably make another post with all the times I died of laughter. Who would have thought?

My soul will definitely need mending and a good dose of fanfiction to get me through the long wait. To the people who are gifted enough to write these fanfcitions, you are my heroes. Cheers!

Final thought, Xaden Riorson, THE MAN that you are.

Accurate image of me after finishing Onyx Storm:

[inlovewithquotes]

I think I started falling for you that night in the tree when I watched you with the marked ones, but I began tumbling the day you gave me Tairn's saddle. You'll give some self-serving excuse, but the truth is you're kinder than you want people to know. Maybe kinder than you know.

-Recovered Correspondence of Cadet Violet Sorrengail to His Grace, Lieutenant Xaden Riorson, Sixteenth Duke of Tyrrendor

[jazminrhode1]

Chapter 1: Conscription Day

The trials are physical but, the challenge is mental. Your father once told me the only weakness he couldn’t tolerate was arrogance—stay humble, stay sharp. And always remember: survive first, excel second.

Excerpt of recovered correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson to Thana Valaren.

~

The relics on her arm could have parted the sea of civilians that lined up at Basgiath War College on Conscription Day. She resented those who were here by choice and feared for the lives of those who weren’t. 

Thana Valeran adjusted her fighting leathers for the hundredth time since arriving that morning. They were allowed to take whatever they wanted across the parapet and she came prepared. She had more knives than the King’s Armoury and her father had trained her on how to use each and every one.

Thana scanned the sea of people milling around the courtyard, her heart tightening at the thought of Liam. She hadn’t seen him in years and the letters back and forth just weren’t the same. He had been there for her through everything until... 

She let out a deep exhale. The very institution she stood before now had a lot to answer for. 

Since her father’s death, Thana had been trapped inside the dark halls of her mind—waking from one nightmare only to live through another, training because Garrick told her to—begged her to—repeating the cycle over and over again. If Thana was going to die, it wouldn’t be in combat. She knew she would lose her mind first, just like her mother had.

The sculptured dragons that sat atop Basgiath’s stone walls loomed overhead as she waited, her eyes flicking nervously toward the entrance. Recruits were already being funnelled toward the infamous parapet—the narrow, death-defying bridge that separated the weak from the strong. From the dead. She passed the distant shrieking off as birds flying through the ravine below the ridgeline.

“Where is he?” she muttered under her breath. The crowd was thinning. The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the courtyard.

And then she saw him.

Liam.

He was taller and broader, but it was him. His jaw was set in that same determined way she remembered, his eyes scanning the crowd with a soldier's precision. When his gaze found hers, it flickered. They stared at each other. Her momentary relief quickly gave way to the fear of losing him.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, resisting the urge to sprint to him, to throw her arms around him and prove to herself that he was real—that her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her, but she couldn’t. Not here. Not yet. Instead, she met his gaze with a sturn nod, and slowly, cautiously, they walked toward each other.

Without a word, they passed through the entrance to the citadel and joined the line of people climbing the steep steps towards the parapet. Thana's heartbeat hammered in her ears. She glanced at Liam, who moved with unmatched confidence. Sensing her nerves, he offered a reassuring wink.

They reached the top of the staircase, the wind whipping at her long dark hair, sending a shiver down her spine. Xaden was there, standing at the edge like a sentinel, his cold eyes sweeping over the recruits. He was calling them one by one, sending them across the deadly bridge, their fates hanging in the balance.

Garrick was by his side, scratching names into the ledger, his usual humour absent. His face was hard, focused as if he hadn’t known her since they were children. It was as if the boy who had once shown her how to throw a dagger, or gently carried a cockroach outside instead of crushing it, had been transformed into this hardened lieutenant.

Thana’s eyes landed on a small, silver-haired girl—Violet Sorrengail—standing near Rhiannon, the same girl who had asked for directions that morning before chattering her ear off. Rage surged through her veins at the sight. Violet’s mother was the reason her father was dead, the cause of her being orphaned. And Rhiannon? Just another pretty face standing in her way. If the Gods had any sense of justice, they’d both fall.

“Next!” Xaden’s voice cut through the wind.

Her heart stopped for a second. She took a deep breath and stepped forward, her eyes locking with his. For a fleeting moment, something passed between them. 

“Don’t die,” Xaden said, his voice barely above a whisper. She wasn’t sure if it was a plea or a taunt.

Thana clenched her jaw, shoving the emotion aside. She refused to give him the satisfaction of a response, especially after he’d stopped writing to her without an explanation.

Garrick scribbled her name into the ledger and pressed something into her hand. A ring. His ring. The one her father had given him before… “For luck,” he said quietly, meeting her eyes. She nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"See you on the other side," Liam's voice trailed from behind, but she couldn't bring herself to glance back.

Then she standing alone, facing the narrow bridge that could spell her death with one wrong step. She heard Liam’s name being called behind her, but her focus was solely on the path ahead. One step at a time. She wasn’t going to fall.

The wind howled, the stone beneath her feet feeling more treacherous with each step, but she pressed forward. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, louder than the rushing wind, louder than the jeers from the crowd.

She was halfway across when the boy in front of her lost his footing and fell into the ravine. She remembered what Xaden had written in one of his letters: The trials are physical but, the challenge is mental.

She knew Roman Halt; they had been friends since they were small, and she wondered if his brother was waiting for him on the other side. Thana shook her head to clear the thought and kept going, purposefully striding past the spot where he'd slipped, refusing to succumb to the temptation of looking down.

She wanted to turn around. She wanted to make sure that Liam was still behind her. She wanted Garrick to cross this death trap with her like he did when they would train on the parapet at Riorson House. She wanted to know what Xaden was thinking behind the darkness in his eyes. She wanted her father close like she did when she was a child that woke up from a  nightmare. Or, she wanted to be condemned to Malek alongside him. She wished that she was doing this by choice and that her fate wasn’t in the hands of Lilith Sorrengail. She wished that this was not her life.

After what felt like an eternity, she was across. Alive.

Liam was right behind her. The moment his boots touched the stone of the Rider’s Quadrant, he grabbed her arm, pulling her behind a nearby pillar and into a dark hallway. Before she could react, he wrapped his arms around her tightly trying desperately to catch his breath.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, grabbing her face in his hands, and scanning her face and body for any sign of injury.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice shaking as she gripped onto his forearms, staring at him in disbelief.

They clung to each other, both asking the same question over and over again, neither caring about the answer, just relieved to be here. Together. Finally.

Finally the hollow pit in her chest began to close over. For so long, she had felt as though she was falling from the parapet into the ravine, denied even the mercy of an end. Just the unrelenting sensation of freefall—her stomach lodged in her throat, danger always looming ahead.

As the Basgiath bells began to toll, echoing from the main building like a harbinger of the chaos to come, Liam and Thana emerged back into the courtyard. The number of cadets had grown significantly and a hush fell over the crowd. Xaden strode in behind them, flanked by Garrick, who looked less tense than before, an air of calm and arrogance radiating from him. She locked eyes with Xaden, who offered her a curt nod of approval before averting his gaze.

There was something about the wingleader’s arrogance—the deliberate way he gave her just enough to keep her wanting more—that stirred up something inside her, something that had long laid dormant. Xaden was always infuriatingly handsome, an irresistible blend of confidence and dark allure that  sent her pulse racing, no matter how hard she tried to resist.

“Three hundred and one of you have survived the parapet to become cadets today,” Commandant Pancheck announced, his voice dripping with an unsettling authority that sent chills down Thana’s spine. She didn’t like the way he looked at them like they were mere pawns in his fucked up little game.

“You will be tested by your superiors, hunted by your peers, and guided by your instincts,” he continued. Thana’s first instinct was to kill Violet Sorrengial. She didn’t care what happened to her after that.

“If you survive to threshing and you are chosen, only then you will become riders.” His words hung in the air, a promise that felt like a curse. The tension in the courtyard thickened as the crowd shifted, it almost felt like the oxygen was stripped from the air and Thana found it hard to breathe.

“I’ll leave you with your wing leaders,” Pancheck concluded, his smirk unsettling. “My best advice: don’t die.”

The cadets shifted as some girl named Nyra stepped forward, commanding their attention. “Cadets, when your name is called, take up formation behind your squad leader.”

Thana was relieved when her name was called and she found herself in the tail section, second squad, fourth wing. She was with Liam and separated from Sorrengail. She couldn’t help but think Xaden had something to do with that.

“Listen closely,” Xaden said, stepping forward with an intensity that silenced the crowd. “You are all cadets now. Take a look at your squads. They are the only people guaranteed by codex not to kill you. Just because they can't, doesn’t mean others won’t. Want a dragon? Fucking earn one.”

Did Xaden say without saying anything that he wanted Violet dead, too?

The sound of wings beating the air into submission disrupted the silence, drawing every gaze upward. Massive dragons landed on the outer walls, their wings stretching wide, shadows engulfing the courtyard. Thana’s heart raced as a cadet from the third wing made a reckless dash for freedom, only to be caught mid-flight, his screams piercing through the wind before being silenced. 

Among the dragons, one stood out to Thana—a dark blue creature, not the largest but infinitely more intimidating. Scars covered its body and it had one marked slash across its left eye. The dragon’s gaze locked onto Thana, and she felt a jolt as if their minds touched. She could almost hear its breathing in her head, a rumble that resonated deep within her. 

Before she could take a step forward to get a better look at the dragons on the ledge, Liam’s hand gripped her arm, pulling her back. Xaden’s breath hitched at the sight, and their eyes met—Thana’s confusion clashing against the fear she saw reflected in Xaden’s eyes.

[bookishlover23]

I don't know why I feel like this entire Empyrean series is written in past tense.

Like they are telling this story to someone.

Otherwise why would they write things like RECOVERED CORRESPONDENCE OF LIEUTENANT XADEN RIORSON TO CADET VIOLET SORRENGAIL!!!

🙄🙄

[siobhanbooks]

just gonna leave this here. snippet from my platonic violet bodhi WIP.

‘Come back, wake up, start breathing. I love you, Xaden, you can’t be gone yet. We are supposed to die together. Meet Malek side by side. But I’m still here so you need to come back, you can’t leave me like this. Please, Xaden, you are supposed to be my endgame.’ Recovered unsent correspondence from Lieutenant Violet Sorrengail to Lieutenant Xaden Riorson

[craneia]

I am reading Iron Flame now and every time I see quotes from "recovered correspondence of lieutenant Xaden Riorson to cadet Violet Sorrengail" I want to cry, my stomach is turning and twisting, 'cause what do you mean by "recovered"? Like stop and please let me be happy for once

[whenwewereyoung97]

Iron Flame spoilers (up to Ch. 20)

In the years after my father died, I forgot what it felt like to be loved. Then I entered the quadrant and became the monster everyone needed me to be, and I never regretted it. But then you gave those words to me, and I remembered…and nearly lost you, too. I’m striving to be better for you just like I promised, but I need you to know that monster is still there, screaming to use every ruthless part of me to get your words back. —Recovered Correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson to Cadet Violet Sorrengail

The way this man has me in a fucking chokehold.

Also, I need the rest of the letters he wrote. Like yesterday.

[butwheredobrokenheartsgo]

RECOVERED CORRESPONDENCE OF LIEUTENANT XADEN RIORSON TO CADET VIOLET SORRENGAIL

The way my stomach DROPPED when i read "recovered",what do you mean recovered????recovered from where ????do they die???? oh my god

[jazminrhode1]

Chapter 15: Signets

Dragons are drawn to potential, but signets only surface when you’re ready to confront your deepest truths. Be prepared to face the parts of yourself you’d rather keep hidden.

Excerpt of recovered correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson to Thana Valaren.

~

The morning sun glared through the stainglass windows as Thana stepped onto the mat. She was out of the healer’s quadrant, finally, and Xaden had ordered her to resume her training with Garrick. Garrick was already waiting for her, his arms crossed, his face unreadable. His usually sharp, commanding tone had softened since her return, and that unsettled her more than anything else.

He greeted her with a nod and handed her a training sword. “Let’s see where your strength’s at.”

Thana hefted the weapon, testing its weight. “You’re not going to take it easy on me, are you?”

Garrick hesitated for a fraction of a second before giving a half-smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

But as their session began, she couldn’t ignore how measured his strikes were, how he pulled his hits when she faltered. He wasn’t pushing her as hard as he used to, and it grated on her nerves. After a particularly restrained swing, she stepped back, lowering her sword.

“Stop,” she snapped. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Garrick frowned, his jaw tightening. “I’m building your strength back up.”

“No,” she said, her voice sharp. “You’re holding back. I don’t need your pity.”

His eyes darkened, and for a moment, she saw the old Garrick—the one who had trained her relentlessly under her father’s guidance. “It’s not pity, Thana. I—” He cut himself off, exhaling roughly, dropping his sword. “How are you holding up?”

The question caught her off guard. She tilted her head, studying him. “I’m fine,” she said carefully. “You?”

He didn’t meet her eyes. Instead, he focused on the grip of his sword. “Imogen and I... we’re done.”

Her brow furrowed. “What happened?”

“It wasn’t working.” He shrugged as if it were simple, but the tension in his shoulders betrayed him. “She has her path, and I have mine.”

There was a heaviness to his words, but before she could press further, he changed the subject. “When you were taken… Válka knew immediately.”

Thana swallowed hard, gripping her sword tighter.

“We came for you as fast as we could,” Garrick continued, his voice low and raw. “Válka wanted to burn the whole castle to the ground. Xaden—he was terrified. And Liam—he couldn’t stop blaming himself. We searched for days, and when we found you…” His voice cracked. “I would never have forgiven myself if your name ended up on that death roll–”

Before she could react, he pulled her into a hug. It was fierce and unyielding, more for him than for her. “I can’t lose you, Thana.”

Her breath hitched, but she returned the embrace, patting his back awkwardly. “It’s not your fault. This is just… part of it.”

He placed a kiss on the top of her head and pulled away nodding reluctantly but the guilt in his eyes lingered. She despised that. 

~

Thana walked into the lecture hall among a sea cadets as they filed in for battle brief. Bodhi was sitting next Violet, arms crossed over his chest and eyes shut. He must have had a big night with the red head from the third wing.

She scanned the crowd for a seat and saw Liam waving her over. One seat next to him with her name on it. Her stomach turned to lead.

The last thing that she wanted to do was to be cornered in and asked about how she was feeling or what happened to her. She wanted to escape into the little meadow in her mind and bask in the warmth of the sunlight.

“You don’t need to babysit me,” she muttered as she sat down next to Liam.

Liam frowned. “I should’ve never agreed to help Violet. Not if it meant losing you.”

Not a hello. Nothing. Not even a little small talk before he went off blaming himself.

“You didn’t lose me,” she said softly but firmly. “I’m right here.”

He nodded, though the guilt still clouded his features. As the briefing began, Thana opened her notebook and began sketching absentmindedly. The lines took shape quickly: her brother crouched in the corner of the cell, his eyes piercing through the page.

“What is that?” Liam whispered, leaning closer. “Is that…?”

Thana snapped the notebook shut, her heart pounding. “It’s nothing.” She shoved it into her bag and caught Liam glancing toward Xaden. She refused to follow his gaze.

~

The corridors were quiet as Thana made her way back to her dorm. She turned a corner and nearly collided with Dain Aetos.

“Glad to see you back,” he said, his tone guarded. There was an unspoken apology behind his words that Thana did not care for. If she had the strength to fight back in that cell she would have but, she was not going to give him the satisfaction of a retaliation now. She was not going to let him think that his words settled in her chest and festered for the past few weeks. She would die before she left him think that his words or his opinions mean anything to her.

Her hand hovered over the blade sheathed at her hip. For a fleeting moment, she imagined driving it through his heart. Instead, she stepped around him, giving him a wide berth.

Her mind churned as she reached her room. She thought of the challenge, the dungeon, the helplessness she’d felt. Thana often thought of her mother, her brother and her father but, never did they ever come to her as an apparition so clear as they did in that cold, wet dungeon cell. 

As she opened the door, her breath caught. Xaden was sitting at the desk by the window, her notebook open in his hands.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded, her voice icy. “Get out.”

He didn’t move. Instead, he held up the sketch. “What is this?”

“It’s nothing,” she said, but the lie was weak, even to her own ears.

“Don’t lie to me.” His voice was low and dangerous as he slammed his hand on the desk. “Tell me the truth, Thana. I’m trying to help you and how can I do that if I don’t what happened?”

Her resolve faltered as reminders of her time under the castle came in flashbacks. The scent of damp assaulted her nostrils, her mother’s eery lullaby’s echoed in her mind. She did not want to relive her time down there. She didn’t want to talk to anyone about the hell she endured. The physical torment, she could endure over and over again but, the emotional turmoil was too much. 

When she saw Dain Aetos mere minutes before, she wanted to drive a blade through his heart over and over again. But, she knew that wouldn’t erase her memories. She knew that every time she saw him she’d be taken back there and that was something she’d have to live with. It was too much. It was too raw. She need him out.

“Get out!” she screamed as she grabbed his arm and shoved him into the hallway. She slammed the door in his face before he could say anything else and pushed the dresser in front of the door. She knew that wouldn’t keep out anyone who was determined to get in but, the gesture made her feel better..

She walked back over and took a seat on her bed as she tried to catch her breath. Liam and Garrick had both tried to ask her what happened down there and she wasn’t ready to tell anyone. What made Xaden think she’d open up to him? He had avoided her since she got out of the healer’s quadrant sending his little watch dogs to keep an eye on her. The gesture was kind but, didn’t he want to see for himself? She guessed he did otherwise why would he have come here tonight but, she needed to do this on her terms and now wasn’t the time.

As she sucked in a sharp breath she felt a small hand slip into hers. “How are you still here?” she asked Aric as he sat on the bed beside her. His feet dangled above the floor as he leant his head on her bicep.

He met her gaze as he squeezed her hand. “Válka. He sent met to you.”

[jazminrhode1]

Chapter 9: Presentation

Dragons respect intelligence as much as courage. Remember, it’s not strength they want—it’s resilience.

Excerpt of recovered correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson to Thana Valaren.

~

The path stretched out before them, winding and narrow, lined by the intimidating presence of dragons on either side. Each creature loomed tall and still, all of them them averaging a massive twenty-five feet. The cadets waited in formation, several feet back from the path, each one trying to still their breathing, trying not to let nerves show. Thana felt her own pulse thrumming in her neck as she stood beside Liam, their squad braced for whatever was to come.

“Let’s go, Second Squad, you’re up next,” Garrick called, his voice sharp and clear. He locked eyes with Thana, giving her a reassuring wink, then slipped back into his professional demeanor. “Into formation!” he ordered.

Thana and Liam found themselves positioned in the front of the line—not the place Thana would’ve chosen but there was no changing it now.

"Walk straight down, stay seven feet apart," Garrick instructed. Luca, stationed a few steps behind, raised her hand with yet another question. Garrick’s patience visibly waned. Thana and Liam exchanged a knowing look.

"Is it true that a feather-tailed dragon might bond with someone?" Luca asked, a faint quiver in her voice.

Garrick's answer was brash, his irritation barely concealed. "Single file."

As he passed by, Thana caught the muttered "for fuck’s sake," under his breath, and had to stifle a laugh. It was an all-too-familiar reaction to Luca's endless questions.

Liam led the way, his shoulders squared, steps deliberate. Thana walked behind him, fighting to keep her composure steady. Up close, the dragons were massive—far larger and more imposing than they had looked on Conscription Day. As they passed each one, the tension in the air thickened, the dragons’ eyes tracking their every move.

They passed a Brown dragon first, its dark, intense gaze fixed on them as they walked by. Then, a Red, its fiery eyes narrowing, its head angled toward Liam as if sizing him up. Thana’s heart pounded harder, but she kept her expression steady, following Liam’s lead.

As they neared a yellow feather-tail, she could feel Liam’s subtle glance back at her, a silent check that they were both seeing the same thing. The murmurs from the cadets behind them grew louder, the nervous energy sparking among them like a frayed live wire.

Without warning, a scream echoed down the line. Thana’s stomach dropped as she turned in time to see Pryor incinerated in flame, his scream cut short as a Brown dragon unleashed another scorching jet of fire. Silence fell as the smoke dissipated, leaving nothing but ash in its wake. Thana clenched her fists, pressing down the icy chill creeping up her spine, and forced herself to keep moving. She could see the tension in Liam’s back, his fists clenched tightly as he continued down the path.

Breathing deeply, she took a steady look around. Dragons lay everywhere—some sprawled in the open, others hidden back in the tree line, their eyes glinting with watchful intensity. She was keenly aware of every sound, every whisper of breath and movement as they walked. Each dragon felt like a predator, waiting for the slightest sign of weakness.

As they walked, two Green dragons crossed their path, their powerful bodies moving with slow precision. They were the most temperate of the dragons, known for their quiet strength and reason. One of the Greens on the right lowered its massive head, coming close enough that Thana could have reached out and touched it. She held her breath, unsure what it would do, but then—

A loud rumble shook the ground. The Greens retreated, their heads turning away as a dark shadow moved toward them. Thana’s pulse quickened as she looked up and saw the scarred dragon. It was so close to the path that if she had stopped walking, she would be within striking range. Its gaze locked onto her, and as she passed, it dipped its massive head ever so slightly, almost as if bowing. Thana felt herself inhale sharply, her breath caught in her throat. Unsure of what else to do, she dropped her head in a subtle nod, maintaining eye contact. Then, just as suddenly, the dragon launched itself into the sky, its wings casting shadows over the path as it disappeared.

Keep walking, Garrick’s voice echoed in her mind, urging her forward. Thana picked up her pace to fall back in step beside Liam. Her hands shook slightly, but she forced herself to keep moving.

She exhaled, unaware until that moment that she’d been holding her breath. She kept walking, her mind reeling with the enormity of what had just happened. She could still feel the weight of the dragon’s gaze, as if its presence lingered even now, hidden somewhere in the trees, watching.

As they neared the end of the path, finally out of sight of the dragons, Thana spotted an old oak tree. She dropped down beside it, her legs shaky as she sat next to Liam. He leaned his head back against the trunk, his eyes closed as he breathed deeply. She could feel the tension in his shoulders easing as she rested her head on his shoulder, the weight of the ordeal finally lifting now that they were out of the line of fire.

Nearby, Xaden stood, arms crossed, his gaze scanning the cadets still lined up on the path. He looked impassive, his face set in an unreadable mask. But something about the way his eyes lingered on the path—sharp, alert, and just the faintest bit relieved—caught her attention.

Thana tried to decipher his expression. Was it relief? Fear? Or something else entirely? She couldn’t be sure. Xaden’s emotions were often locked away, hidden behind the carefully constructed walls he kept in place.

“Not what you expected?” Liam asked softly, his voice breaking her train of thought.

She looked over at him, offering a faint smile. "I’m not sure what I expected, honestly."

Liam nodded, his gaze fixed on a distant point in the sky. "I can’t believe we made it through that."

She gave his hand a squeeze, her own fingers still tingling from the adrenaline coursing through her veins. They had survived—barely. 

From across the field, Xaden's gaze flicked toward her for a split second, and she met his eyes. For a heartbeat, she thought she saw something there—something vulnerable and raw. But just as quickly, his expression returned to its usual impassivity, unreadable as ever.

She took a deep breath, letting the weight of the moment sink in. Threshing was just around the corner–this wasn’t over yet.

[jazminrhode1]

Chapter 6: Sparring

Training will test you but, pain means progress here. The goal is to know your limits and push just a bit further each time. If you fall, get back up–it’s a rule of survival.

Excerpt of recovered correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson to Thana Valaren.

~

Thana leaned back against the rough stone wall, suppressing an eye roll as she watched the novices on the sparring mat. Each attempted jab, every sloppy block, only heightened her frustration. She muttered under her breath, cataloging their mistakes. “Wrong stance, too loose… you’ll get flattened in a second,” she murmured, her fingers drumming against her thigh. She couldn’t help but smirk as her gaze landed on Violet Sorrengail, hoping she’d get a chance to put her through her paces.

“That guy—way too much weight on his front foot,” came a voice beside her.

She turned, surprised to find Ruari standing close, arms crossed and nodding at the sparring match in front of them. “You noticed?” she asked, a hint of approval slipping into her tone.

Ruari chuckled. “Amateurs practically fall on their own swords, don’t they?”

Thana nodded, sizing him up a little differently. “Not bad, Ruari.”

She glanced back at the sparring mat, where Garrick, talking to Imogen, exchanged a look with Xaden. She saw Xaden’s barely perceptible nod before Garrick turned and walked over.

“Alright, Ruari, enough commentary,” Garrick said, not unkindly, but with a gentle push that sent Ruari back into the crowd.

As Ruari glanced at her over his shoulder, she mouthed, “Sorry,” with a quick shrug. Ruari rolled his eyes but grinned before disappearing back into the group.

Imogen wandered over, a faint smirk on her face as she sidled up to Thana. “You’re getting popular,” she teased.

Thana crossed her arms. She liked Imogen well enough, even if she didn’t fully trust her yet. “Ruari’s… different,” she admitted, watching Liam talking with Xaden across the room. Both of them seemed to be sizing up Violet, and she raised an eyebrow, suspicious.

Liam caught her gaze, and his mouth tugged into a grin, giving her a wink. Even the smallest gestures from him made her feel grounded. Then, Professor Emeterrio’s voice cut through the room.

“Violet Sorrengail!” he called.

Thana’s heart leapt. She stood slowly, anticipation prickling in her fingers, ready to show Violet what it meant to spar with someone serious. But to her surprise, Professor Emeterrio’s gaze shifted.

“Xaden Riorson, take the mat.”

A flash of thrill shot through her as Xaden crossed the room, confidence radiating off him. She could see the concern flicker over Dain’s face, but Xaden’s smirk only grew. He turned to Violet with a look that made Thana’s stomach twist.

“Don’t worry, Sorrengail,” Xaden drawled, his voice a low taunt. “You’ll be in one piece when I’m done with you.”

“Kill her, Riorson!” Jack Barlow shouted from the edge, his face twisted with glee.

The fight was brutal—Xaden’s calculated moves against Violet’s stubborn resilience. He taunted her, his insults cold and cutting, and for a moment, Thana almost pitied her. But when Professor Emeterrio called the match, and Xaden stepped back, she was less satisfied than she’d hoped. She wanted an answer to his reasons, his restraint.

After class, she jogged to catch up to him. “What the hell was that?” she asked, voice barely more than a hiss.

He looked at her, unphased, his face closed off. “What do you mean?”

She scoffed. “I mean, you didn’t finish her. Not even close. Why did you hold back?”

“Violet needs training,” he replied, his voice quiet but steely. “She’s important. I’m asking you to trust me.”

The request stunned her, and she felt a surge of anger. “You want me to her? You’re out of your mind.” She shook her head, trying to catch his gaze. “It’s like you don’t even care that your father died!”

He grabbed her arm, his eyes dark with anger. “Everything I’m doing is because I lost my father.”

She wrenched her arm free, fury smoldering in her chest, and stormed off, her footsteps echoing down the corridor. She nearly ran into Liam, who caught her arm and slung it over his shoulder as they walked toward the dining hall.

“Talked to Xaden, did you?” he asked, his face softening in that way only he managed.

Thana nodded, still simmering with frustration. “Yeah, and it was about as satisfying as talking to a wall.”

“Did he mention helping Violet?” Liam asked, his tone calm but probing.

She stopped, pulling her arm away. “How’d you know about that?”

He shrugged, unbothered by her reaction. “Xaden asked me to keep an eye on her. I trust him, Thana.”

Her anger faltered, softened by the knowledge of all Xaden had done for Liam back in the foster home, keeping him safe. She took a breath and collected herself. “I’m not going to help her.”

Liam looked down, understanding in his eyes. “Are you okay with me helping her?”

She forced herself to nod. “Of course. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.” She offered a small, resigned smile.

Liam pulled her into a hug, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You’re an enigma, kid.”

After dinner, Thana slipped away from the dining hall, letting the murmurs and laughter fade into the background. The main corridor stretched before her, dimly lit and unsettling in the dark. She stuck to the shadows, her footsteps soft on the worn stone floors, taking a left hallway she’d yet to explore.

She moved with care, pausing to listen to each distant footfall, catching sight of the occasional flickering torchlight that signaled someone nearby. She ducked into an alcove as a familiar figure turned the corner—Dain. His brow was furrowed, clearly focused on something as he swept his gaze down the hall. Thana held her breath, watching him pass, only exhaling when he’d rounded a corner and the hall was empty again.

She slipped out from her hiding spot, feeling a surge of satisfaction at her quiet escape, and continued deeper into the castle’s lesser-known passages. As she traced her hand along a cold, uneven wall, she found herself lingering in a small, forgotten courtyard cloaked in shadows.

Someone cleared their throat from behind her, sending a thrill down her spine.

Thana whipped around, irritation flaring as she found herself face-to-face with Xaden, his gaze sharp and unreadable. He raised an eyebrow, stepping into the moonlight that pooled through the narrow windows, his arms crossed as he studied her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked, his tone calm but carrying a hint of warning.

Thana rolled her eyes, her earlier frustration simmering back to the surface. “Just getting some air, away from everyone,” she muttered. “Don’t tell me I need permission for that too.”

Xaden sighed, shaking his head slightly. “If you’re going to roam around, at least try not to get caught. You have a knack for attracting the wrong attention, you know.” He gestured down a narrow passage she hadn’t noticed before, its stairs spiraling up into the dark. “Come on.”

She hesitated, but her curiosity won out. She followed him up the winding staircase, the walls narrowing as they ascended. Finally, they emerged into the open air at the top of one of Basgiath’s towers, the entire campus stretching below them. The landscape beyond lay shrouded in shadows, only the faint lights of the school and the stars above illuminating their view.

Thana sucked in a breath, the vastness of it all striking her. She could see every training field, every building, every cliffside path winding away into the distance. The quiet here felt different—heavy, almost reverent.

Xaden turned to her, his gaze more serious than she’d ever seen it. “Thana… I need you to stay safe. There are people here who knew your father, who remember him, and not all of them see you as separate from him.”

“Why do you care?” she asked, her voice cutting through the silence. She regretted it almost instantly, her childish challenge hanging in the air.

Hurt flickered in his eyes, and for a moment he looked away, the mask slipping. “Because, Thana… I don’t just care because I owe it to your father. You’re important to me.” His voice softened, carrying a weight she didn’t fully understand. He didn’t owe her father anything.

The words touched something deep in her, stirring memories of the friendship they’d once shared, before everything became fractured. “What happened, Xaden?” she asked quietly. “We used to talk about everything. Now it’s like every time I think we’re getting back to who we were, you pull away.”

He leaned against the stone railing, his gaze distant as he struggled to find the words. “There are things I can’t tell you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Not because I don’t want to, but because keeping you safe means keeping you out of this mess. And it’s… it’s too much to ask of anyone else. Especially you.”

Thana’s eyes narrowed, pain and anger mingling in her voice. “Basgiath changed you.”

“No,” he scoffed, meeting her gaze with a quiet intensity. “The rebellion did that. Every scar on my body, every day I wake up knowing I’m fighting battles that aren’t even mine… that’s what changed me.” He exhaled, the tension in his shoulders falling as he let the words out. “I pray to Malek every night that this death will be the last one but, there’s always the next one and the next one. I can’t… I can’t wear that, Thana.”

A pang of sorrow cut through her anger, softening her voice. “You’re not alone. Isn’t that what you always told me? Garrick, Liam, me… we’re here for you, Xaden.”

His face crumpled, and for the first time, he looked raw, vulnerable, his voice cracking as he spoke. “They’re just kids, Thana… and they’re dying because they were forced to come here because of a decision that I made.”

She reached out, closing the space between them, and pulled him into a hug. Xaden sank into her embrace, his shoulders shaking as he buried his face in her shoulder, his tears soaking through her shirt. She held him tightly, letting him feel the weight of her presence, grounding him as he let go of the pain he’d held on his own for too long.

“It’s okay,” she whispered, brushing her hand over his back in gentle circles. “It’s not but… It’ll be we’re figure it out.”

For a moment, they stayed like that, the cold night air and vast sky above them their only witnesses. Slowly, his breathing steadied, and he pulled back, wiping his eyes, a faint smile breaking through his exhaustion. He took her hand in his.

“Thanks, T,” he murmured, his voice laced with gratitude.

They stood in silence for a few moments, sharing an unspoken understanding that hung between them. And as they descended from the tower, Thana felt a renewed determination settle within her. She’d protect him too, just as fiercely as he’d sworn to protect her, even if it meant facing down every danger Basgiath had to offer.

[jazminrhode1]

Chapter 5: Ruari

Cadets come and go, most don’t last, and some don’t deserve to. But there are a few you’ll trust with your life. Keep your eyes open for allies. You’ll need them sooner than you think.

Excerpt of recovered correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson to Thana Valaren.

~

Thana was jolted awake, her chest heaving, the torment of her nightmare still lingering. The vision of a locked, pitch-black room where her mind unraveled had been too vivid. As her breath steadied, she felt an arm wrap around her waist—Bodhi's, heavy and warm in his sleep. She hadn't meant to wake him. She'd woken up with him in her bed for the third time in as many nights, and she'd been meaning to call it off but...

Carefully, she slipped out from under Bodhi's arm, the chill of the early morning air biting against her skin as she stretched. She couldn’t fall back asleep. Not with her thoughts running wild. She threw on her fighting leathers and left the women's hall, making her way toward the gym. She needed to burn off the restless energy, to chase away the fear gnawing at her insides.

The gym wasn't empty when she arrived. To her surprise, Ruari, Hawke a fellow first-year, was already there. His tall, muscular frame moved with focus, sweat gleaming off his tanned skin. His thick brown hair caught the early sunlight as he trained, throwing a series of punches at a practice dummy. He'd gotten better since his disastrous first sparring match a few days prior, though he still had a long way to go.

Ruari acknowledged her almost immediately, pausing mid-swing to offer a nod. "Thana," he greeted her, his voice warm and genuine. "You're up early."

She just nodded in reply. She moved to stretch, eyeing him from her corner of the gym. His progress was clear, but there was still a hesitancy in his movements. She didn't know a lot about him, but she liked that he didn’t seem to care about the markings etched across her arm—a rarity among the Riders.

After a few minutes, she found herself unable to watch any longer. She stepped closer to Ruari, watching as he struggled with the stance. "Your footing's off," she remarked quietly, not wanting to embarrass him.

Ruari looked at her, startled for a moment before he grinned sheepishly. "I was wondering why I felt like I was about to drop like a sack of potatoes. You mind showing me?"

Thana hesitated but eventually nodded. "Sure." She guided him through the movements, her own thoughts momentarily forgotten in the rhythm of training. He followed her instructions carefully, and although they kept a comfortable distance, she couldn't help but respect his determination. He wasn't the strongest fighter, but he was improving—and that counted for something.

As they continued, the door swung open, and in walked Garrick and Imogen, looking far too comfortable with each other for Thana’s liking. Imogen’s pink hair was tied up, an undercut visible, and she laughed at something Garrick said, her eyes twinkling.

Thana rolled her eyes and as she went back to her stretching. "Impressive work this morning," Garrick remarked, though she couldn't tell if he was addressing Imogen or her.

Ruari packed up his things shortly after, offering Thana a small smile. "Thanks for the help. If you ever want to train together again..." He left the invitation hanging, an olive branch of sorts. Maybe more.

Thana nodded, watching him leave before turning her attention back to Garrick and Imogen, who were still engrossed in their conversation. Imogen shot Thana a curious look, but there wasn't any gossip to share. She wouldn't give Imogen the satisfaction of thinking anything had happened between her and Ruari.

Later that day, Thana sat by the banks of the Ikabos River, the soft breeze ruffling her hair as she absentmindedly twisted the ring between her fingers—the one Garrick had given her before she crossed the parapet. She hadn't known it was engraved with her father's name until recently, and now the weight of it felt different. 

Her thoughts were interrupted when Garrick came barreling down the riverbank, shirt discarded, and dove straight into the water with an enthusiastic splash, laughing with the others as he surfaced. Thana smiled briefly but couldn’t shake the anxious pit in her stomach.

Then she heard the crunch of footsteps behind her. She didn’t have to look to know who it was—she’d felt the shift in the air before he even spoke.

"Mind if I sit?" Xaden's voice was low, steady. He was always so composed, and it unnerved her sometimes.

"Go ahead," she replied, scooting over to give him space on the sun-warmed rock she was perched on.

For a few minutes, they sat in silence, watching the others in the river. Thana continued to fiddle with the ring, her fingers tracing the engraved letters, lost in thought. Xaden's presence was usually suffocating, but today it felt grounding. After a while, he finally spoke.

"You're thinking about the challenges," he stated more than asked, his gaze steady on her.

Thana hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "And Presentation... and Threshing. I don’t know if I'm ready for any of it." She paused, casting a sidelong glance at him. "What if I fail? What if no dragon wants to bond with me?"

Xaden shifted slightly but didn’t close the gap between them. His dark eyes softened, something almost like concern flickering beneath his usually hardened exterior. "You're not going to fail, Thana. Whether you know it or not, you've trained your whole life for this." He pointed at her father's ring, "he's trained you your whole life for this."

She let out a small, shaky breath, feeling the vulnerability she’d tried to suppress all day creeping in. "But what if I do? What if this whole time... all the training with Garrick, all the work I’ve put in... what if it’s still not enough?"

Xaden raised his hand, as if to rub her back, but hesitated. His hand lingered in the air before falling back to his side. "You're going to be okay," he said quietly, his voice firm but gentle. "I won't let anything happen to you."

The gesture was subtle, but Thana noticed it. His instinct to comfort her was there, but something held him back. It left her feeling both reassured and unsettled, a strange mix of emotions swirling inside her.

She looked up at him with uncertainty still clouding her eyes. "Xaden... how do dragons choose their riders?"

At that question, Xaden’s expression shifted. Something unreadable flickered across his face—something guarded, like he was choosing his next words carefully.

"It's... complicated," he finally said, his voice quieter now, like he was speaking more to himself than to her. "Sometimes it's instinct. Sometimes they see something in you that you don't see in yourself."

Thana’s gaze sharpened, her thoughts immediately going to the scarred dragon she’d seen. She remembered the way it had looked at her during Conscription, like it was evaluating her, judging her in a way no one else had. "And the scarred dragon?" she asked cautiously. "The one we saw on Conscription Day. How does a dragon like that choose?"

Xaden’s jaw tightened. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, just stared at her with that same intense look he’d given her the day of Conscription. The same look that had unnerved her then and unsettled her now.

He finally sighed, looking away towards the mountains. "That dragon... It doesn’t choose the way the others do."

Thana frowned, confusion knotting in her chest. "What do you mean?"

Xaden shook his head slightly, a shadow crossing his features. "It's already decided who its rider is going to be."

His words hung in the air, heavy with implication. Thana couldn’t help but feel a chill run down her spine. There was something more he wasn’t saying, something about that dragon and the way it had looked at her.

"Did Sgayel tell you that?" she asked.

Before she could press him to answer, he stood up, offering a hand to help her to her feet.

"Come on," he said, his tone shifting back to that composed, commanding voice she was more familiar with. "We’ve got to get to dinner."

Thana hesitated, still trying to make sense of what he’d said, but eventually nodded, taking his hand as he pulled her up. As they walked back toward the others, she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to the scarred dragon’s gaze than she realised. And maybe... just maybe, it had something to do with Xaden.

[jazminrhode1]

Chapter 4: Bonding

They say that a dragon without its rider is a tragedy. But, a rider without their dragon is dead.

Excerpt of recovered correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson; beneficiary unknown.

Thana’s fingers brushed against the cool metal surface of the counter as she placed the last of the plates in their rightful spots on the line. The kitchen smelled faintly of fresh bread and spices, the soft murmur of other students chatting in the dining hall beyond just barely reaching her ears. Kitchen duty before breakfast wasn’t the most glamorous task, but it kept her busy—and at this hour, it was better than sitting alone in her room letting her thoughts spiral.

Across from her, Evander Vossir was fumbling with a tray of plates, his hands shaking as he tried to arrange them neatly. His brow was furrowed in concentration, but despite his effort, his movements were stiff and clumsy, and every few seconds, a plate would slip from his hands and clatter noisily against the counter.

Liam was sitting on the bench nearby, eating an apple, looking entirely too relaxed for someone who had been up at the crack of dawn for sparring. He raised an eyebrow at Thana, casually tossing the core of his apple into the nearby bin.

“So, about that girl in the mess hall yesterday—her name's Estella, right?” he asked, his tone teasing.

Thana shot him a sidelong glance as she adjusted a few plates, keeping her voice flat. “Liam, can we not talk about your lady friends while we’re doing this?”

“Just trying to lighten the mood.” He leaned back, hands behind his head, clearly enjoying the break.

Meanwhile, Evander dropped another plate, sending it crashing onto the floor, the sound harsh and grating. Thana winced as the pieces shattered.

“Take it easy, Evander,” she said, her tone softer than it might have been. She knew the kid was nervous; he was barely holding it together. She couldn’t blame him. Everyone was on edge, even if they weren’t showing it. “I know you're scared, but this is kitchen duty. Stop stressing yourself out.”

Evander looked up at her, his wide eyes full of panic. “I—I’m not messing up on purpose, I swear! I just… I can’t—”

“I know,” Thana said, cutting him off, trying to sound more reassuring than she felt. She paused, then added with a small shrug, “You’re not getting graded on how you stack plates.”

Liam chuckled, but Thana didn’t miss the way his gaze softened when it landed on Evander. He didn’t like seeing people struggle either, even if he made light of it.

Evander gave a shaky nod, wiping his hands on his apron as if to somehow clean away his nervous energy. “I don’t want to mess up,” he mumbled, mostly to himself, as his hands shook slightly.

“Evander,” Thana said, stepping closer and placing a hand on his shoulder gently. “You’re doing great.”

But just as she said that, the door to the kitchen opened with a soft creak, and in walked Xaden Riorson, his tall figure casting a shadow across the room. He was talking with Liam about something, his tone calm and easy, but Thana noticed that Evander stiffened at the sound of Xaden’s voice. It was almost as if the tension in the room doubled.

Thana looked over at Liam, who raised his eyebrows in amusement. Xaden’s voice was smooth as he greeted them casually, unaware of the other presence in the room. “Morning.”

Liam gave a lazy wave, barely acknowledging Xaden, but Thana offered a small smile, trying not to laugh at the sight of Evander quivering in the corner. Before she could say anything, there was a loud crash behind them. Thana whipped around just in time to see Evander drop the tray of plates, the clattering sound echoing in the quiet kitchen like a bomb going off. 

Evander froze, his eyes wide and filled with horror. He bent over quickly, scrambling to pick up the pieces, hands trembling violently.

Xaden turned around, his expression unreadable as his eyes landed on the mess. “Evander?” he asked, his voice quieter now, tinged with concern. “You okay?”

Evander’s face was flushed with embarrassment, his mouth working but no words coming out. He nodded feverishly, as if trying to convince himself more than anyone else. “I’m fine, really. Just—just a little slip, that’s all.”

Xaden took a step toward him, kneeling down beside him and gently placing a hand on his shoulder. The contact was surprisingly gentle, a stark contrast to the tension that had filled the room moments earlier. “Evander, take a breath,” he said calmly. “You're going to cut yourself if you keep going like this. Relax.”

Evander didn’t look up, still scrambling to clean up the mess, his hands shaking with the effort.

“Evander,” Xaden repeated, this time more firmly. “You’re excused. Take a walk or something. Let someone else clean up.”

Thana watched as Evander’s face went even redder, but after a long, awkward pause, he finally nodded and stood, moving quickly toward the door with a muttered, “Sorry. Sorry, everyone.”

Xaden watched him leave, his gaze lingering on the door for a moment before he stood up and turned back to Thana and Liam. “You’ve got a lot of nervous energy around here today, don’t you?”

Liam smirked, grabbing another apple. “Tell me about it. You should see the other first years. It’s like watching a bunch of rabbits in a snake pit.”

Thana shook her head, but she couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped. She had a feeling this was going to be one of those days where every tiny thing felt like it might just fall apart.

They finished setting up the breakfast buffet before joining their peers in the dining hall.

Thana sat at the far end of the long table in the dining hall, her head propped up on one hand as she absently stirred her porridge with the other. The early morning sun streamed in through the tall windows, casting golden light over the breakfast crowd. Across from her, Liam was already devouring his food, as if the day’s lessons had already started and he needed every ounce of strength. Next to him, Bodhi was lazily picking apart a roll, making casual conversation with Imogen about the upcoming challenges.

“You look like you’re plotting someone’s demise,” Liam teased through a mouthful of food, his eyes glinting with humor as he glanced up at Thana.

Thana smirked, leaning back in her chair. “Maybe I am. Plenty of candidates around here.”

Liam chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t start your day by decapitating anyone, please. At least not before lunch.”

"Fine,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. “I’ll wait.”

As they finished breakfast, the bell chimed, signaling their next lesson. Thana pushed her tray away and stood, pulling her satchel over her shoulder. The group headed toward Professor Kaori’s lecture hall, their footsteps echoing in the corridors. The energy was tense—Presentation and Threshing were drawing nearer, and everyone’s mind was on the dragons that could either bond them or burn them to ashes.

In class, Thana’s attention drifted as Professor Kaori began speaking. She found herself sketching again, her fingers dancing over the page as she drew the scarred dragon that had been haunting her thoughts lately. She captured the jagged line across his eye, the powerful frame of his body as he perched on the ledge, and the fearsome image of him flying overhead, wings darkening the sky.

“Keep the temperaments of each specific breed in mind when you decide which dragons to approach and which to avoid at Threshing,” Professor Kaori’s voice pulled her back to reality. She glanced up, her eyes narrowing slightly as the professor’s signet projected images onto the large screen behind him. The latest was a bright red dragon with a whip-like tail, tipped with a venomous barb.

“The red scorpiontails,” Kaori continued, “are the quickest to anger. And if you piss them off…”

“You’re dead,” Ridoc finished the sentence from across the room, earning a few chuckles.

The professor didn’t seem amused. “That’s right. Does anyone know how to properly approach a red scorpiontail?”

Silence hung in the room, and Thana’s eyes flicked to the others around her. No one raised a hand. After a beat, Kaori sighed. “Approach them from the left, and make sure it’s from the front. They hate being surprised.”

Next to her, Liam scribbled down every word in his notebook, his handwriting neat and precise. Thana, however, was only half-listening, her thoughts flitting between Kaori’s lesson and the strength she felt growing in her limbs thanks to Garrick’s brutal training. Her sparring victories gave her confidence, but they also made her aware of just how much more there was to learn.

“For this Threshing,” Kaori added, “there are three red scorpiontails willing to bond.”

“Three?” Rhiannon asked, her voice rising slightly in surprise. “How many dragons total?”

The room fell silent again, and Thana felt a sense of tension creeping in. Kaori’s expression was unreadable as he replied, “There are one hundred dragons. But remember, some may change their mind at Presentation.”

A hundred dragons didn’t sound like a lot. Not when there were so many first years vying for a chance to bond.

A first year in the front row raised his hand. “Do they ever explain why they don’t want to bond?”

Jack Barlowe’s scoff cut through the air before Kaori could answer. “No, jackass.”

Kaori shot Jack a look, then turned back to the class. “If you respect their life, you won’t question their decisions.”

The projector shifted to another image, this time of a sleek blue dragon with shining scales. Kaori’s expression hardened as he turned to the class. “Now, you won’t have to worry about blue dragons this Threshing. None of them are left to bond.”

Thana’s heart sank. She had been hoping—foolishly, maybe—that the scarred dragon she’d been sketching might be one of them. But Kaori’s words dashed that hope. 

Kaori’s gaze swept the room, landing briefly on Thana. It felt like he could see through her thoughts, straight to the disappointment she was trying to hide. He continued, “The most powerful of the blues, Sgayel, is bonded. If you see her without her rider, find somewhere else to be. She’s dangerous.” 

There was a murmur of unease that rippled through the room. “What about the other blue daggertail?” someone asked.

Kaori paused. “The other blue is none of your concern. We hadn’t seen him near Basgiath in over a decade. He is even more unpredictable than Sgayel and he’s been known to kill on a whim. I can’t say whether or not he’d keep his rider alive.” Thana shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“Now,” Jack Barlowe spoke up again, his voice filled with bravado, “what about the black dragon?”

Kaori’s face darkened. “He’s a morningstartail. I haven’t seen him in five years. He doesn’t bond, and if you see him, run. He’s a killing machine.”

The rest of the class passed in a blur of dragon breeds and bonding odds, but Thana’s mind was elsewhere. Her fingers drummed lightly on the edge of her desk as she thought about the moves Garrick had taught her that morning. He had warned her she could decapitate someone if she wasn’t careful and they flirted with the idea of trying it on Violet Sorrentail. Or Jack. He’d do too.

As the bell rang, signaling the end of the lesson, Thana and Liam gathered their things. Thana ripped the pages of her dragon sketches from her notebook and stuffed them into her bag before they left the classroom. The crisp air outside hit her as they stepped into the courtyard, and Liam walked beside her in companionable silence for a moment.

“You’re over thinking again,” he finally said, nudging her shoulder gently with his own.

Thana sighed. “I can’t help it.”

Liam stopped walking, turning to face her with an intensity she wasn’t expecting. He looked into her eyes and she felt exposed. She though he was going to praise her for training so hard with Garrick but, he caught her off guard. “You’ll bond a dragon, Thana. You’re more worthy than any of us. And, I know you want it to be but, I hope it’s not him,” he said with a nod toward her sketch sticking out of her bag.

She shrugged. “Kaori said none of the blues are left to bond.”

Liam offered her a tight-lipped smile and Thana watched as he strolled toward the sparring gym. There was some girl he had promised to train but, Thana knew Liam better than that.

As she walked through the halls back to her bunk in the first-year dorms she kept thinking about the dragons from Kaori’s class. What was it like to bond a dragon? Can a dragon change their mind? What if she’s not worthy? What if no dragon even wants to bond with her?

As she unpacked her bag and stuffed her sketches under her mattress she saw a small sculpture on her night stand. She picked it up to examine it and in her hand sat the blue daggertail with the scars etched perfectly across it’s wooden frame.

Alongside the sculpture sat a note written in Liam’s handwriting; 

Thana,

I hope this reminds you of all that you’re capable of. If this scarred dragon is yours, I won’t lie; the thought scares the hell out of me. But I know you’ll handle it. You always do.All my love,xx

[jazminrhode1]

Chapter 2: Death Roll

You may feel the weight of those who’ve already fallen—it’s unavoidable. The list will grow, and you’ll recognize names. Let yourself feel that loss, but don’t let it stop you. The dead can’t help you here. Honor them by surviving. The battle will be lost if you stop fighting. Excerpt of recovered correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson to Thana Valaren.

~

Thana stood vigil beside Liam as Captain Fitzgibbons read the names on the death roll. One by one, the names of the fallen were spoken for the last time at Basigath War College.

As she stood with the rest of the first years, the silver star stitched into her chest marked her rank, a status she had earned but resented. She hated being marked, hated the significance it carried, hated that it set her apart when all she felt was the weight of those who had fallen.

"We commend their souls to Malek," Captain Fitzgibbons said, his voice devoid of emotion as he read the final name.

She couldn't get the image of bodies being dragged from the ravine out of her mind. She wondered if that was the same courtesy they showed her father in the wake of his execution. She refused to let the mundanity of the death roll dishonour the marked ones who had died, so she whispered a prayer for every one of them.They deserved more than this, more than a cold recitation and an empty gesture to a distant god.

Exo Halt, their squad leader, stepped forward, addressing the first years with a grim authority. His younger brother had fallen from the parapet the day before, and Thana had barely slept thinking of that moment over and over again. She didn't know Exo well, but she had known his brother, Roman. She had been sick twice in the night thinking about it, imagining his skeleton shattering to pieces as it hit the rocks in the ravine below.

Exo's voice was steady, betraying none of the grief she knew he had to be feeling. "Second and third years, follow your schedule. First years, you're on your own. Look out for each other. I expect every one of you to be alive in the sparring gym this afternoon."

Thana couldn't help but feel a flicker of excitement at the mention of sparring. She had been agitated since she woke up the previous morning, the energy building inside her. She needed a release, and the gym was the perfect place to get it out.

Exo dismissed everyone, and the cadets dispersed. Liam started toward their first class, but Thana lingered. "I'll meet you there," she called after him, before making her way to Exo.

She caught up with him just as he was about to leave the courtyard. "Exo," she said softly, falling into step beside him. He turned his head slightly, acknowledging her presence without looking at her directly.

"I'm sorry about your brother," she whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

He sucked in a shaky breath and distracted himself with the loose thread on the cuff of his fighting leathers. Without looking up he said, "Welcome to the Rider's Quadrant.

Thana clenched her fists, anger boiling beneath her skin. How could he be so detached? This was what Basgiath had turned him into—a soldier who buried his humanity beneath layers of duty and survival.

He glanced at her, his face set. "Get to class, Thana. That's an order."

She turned to leave, her heart heavy, but as she walked away, his voice stopped her in her tracks.

"I'm sorry about your father," he said, his voice softening for the first time.

Her breath caught in her throat, and for a moment she felt like the ground was slipping from under her feet. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and hurried away before the wave of emotion could crash over her.

Thana and Liam found their seats in Battle Brief, still reeling from the morning's events. They had come from History class, where Thana had barely kept her eyes open. The Professor's monotone voice had almost lulled her into sleep, and only the sharp jab of Liam's elbow had kept her awake.

But now, as Professor Devera stood at the front of the lecture hall, all Thana could think about was Violet Sorrengail, sitting just a few seats away. Her mere presence grated at Thana's nerves, the sight of her silver hair catching in the dim light making her stomach twist. She still couldn't understand what kind of mother would send her daughter here—General Sorrengail of all people. She had heard Violet wanted to be a scribe and she would have been far better off in the Scribe's Quadrant.

After the class, Thana's gaze remained locked on Violet as they made their way to the sparring gym. Her fists clenched unconsciously, a cold fury burning in her chest.

Violet caught her staring and, to Thana's surprise, smiled, oblivious to Thana's desire for revenge. Before Thana could speak, Xaden intercepted her path.

"Walk with me," he said, his voice low and commanding.

Thana followed Xaden in silence as they weaved through the crowded halls of Basgiath. His pace was quick, purposeful, and it was all she could do to keep up, her mind racing with questions. When he led her to a shadowed alcove near the eastern wall, away from prying eyes, she expected the same cold distance he had shown since her arrival. It was hot but, she was over it. Instead, Xaden turned to face her, his expression unreadable for a moment. And then, without warning, he pulled her into a hug.

Thana stiffened, caught off guard by his embrace. She could feel his heartbeat inside his chest, the tension in his body giving way to something softer, more vulnerable. For a split second, the weight of her anger and confusion lifted, replaced by a rush of relief that mirrored his. Xaden was relieved—truly relieved—that she had made it across the parapet.

"Gods, Thana," he breathed, his voice rough, as if the words had been caught in his throat for too long. "I thought—when I didn't see you..."

She swallowed hard, her own emotions threatening to spill over. She hadn't expected this. Not from him.

"I'm fine," she said quietly, her cheek pressed against his chest. "I'm fine."

He held her tighter for a moment, as though grounding himself in the reality that she was there, alive and breathing in his arms. But when he pulled back, his expression had already shifted, the vulnerability slipping behind a wall of uncertainty.

Thana stepped back, searching his face, the words that had been simmering in her mind spilling out before she could stop them. "Why did you stop writing to me?"

The question hung in the air between them. Xaden's jaw tightened, and he looked away, his fingers flexing at his sides.

"I'm sorry," was all he said but, something felt like it was missing.

Thana's eyes darkened, her voice sharp. "That's it? You're sorry?"

Xaden's face softened with regret, but before he could respond, he took a deep breath and reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly. "Thana, listen to me. You need to stay away from Violet Sorrengail."

His words hit her like a slap, and she jerked her hand out of his, stepping back. "What?" Her voice was incredulous, her anger sparking again. "Her mother killed our parents, Xaden! She's the reason for all of this."

His eyes closed briefly, pain flashing across his features. When he opened them, there was a rawness there that cut through her anger. "I know," he said quietly. "I know what her mother did. But Violet... Violet didn't kill your father. I need her alive, Thana."

The sincerity in his voice gave her pause, but it wasn't enough to douse the fire that had been burning inside her for so long. "Why?" she demanded, her voice rising. "Why do you need her? What makes her so important that you're willing to protect her? My Dad is dead and Lilith deserves to know what that feels like."

He didn't answer immediately, and the silence that followed only fueled her frustration. When he finally spoke, his voice was pained but resolute. "I can't explain everything right now. But I promise you, Violet is not her mother."

"You're wasting your breath if you think I'm going to pretend she's anything but the enemy," Thana hissed, her gaze was unrelenting. "Don't ask me to be better than this, because I'm not. Not for her."

Xaden looked at her, his expression torn between understanding her anger and the weight of his own responsibilities. "I get it," he said, his voice low. "I understand why you want vengeance. But this... this isn't the way. Not with her. I need you to trust me."

She could speak to Xaden with this level of anger and bluntness because they had never hidden behind niceties; their relationship had always thrived on an unspoken pact of unflinching honesty, no matter the cost. And, this wasn't about him - he knew that. This wasn't about forgiveness or moving on. Thana's soul had been swallowed whole by the grief, the rage, and the need for retribution. 

Thana seethed with wrath and confusion, and something else—something far more vulnerable. "You don't get it," she muttered, more to herself than to him.

The bell rang in the distance, cutting through the tension between them. Xaden's head turned toward the sound, and with visible reluctance, he stepped back.

"I have to go," he said, his voice regretful. But before he turned to leave, he cupped her face in his hands, his touch surprisingly gentle. He pressed a kiss on her forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment as if leaving her was a hard thing to do.

"I'm glad you're here," he murmured against her skin, his breath warm. "We'll talk soon, I promise."

He turned to leave but, before he did he said, "Don't die." And then he was gone, leaving Thana standing in the alcove, her heart pounding in her chest.

Frustrated and confused, she clenched her fists at her sides, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened. Xaden had hugged her, kissed her forehead like he was relieved—but he had also asked her to psparerotect Violet Sorrengail, to go against everything she had been holding onto since her father's death.

She let out a shaky breath, her emotions swirling as she tried to piece together what this meant. But no matter how hard she tried to understand, she knew that whatever Xaden was hiding was bigger than just keeping Violet alive.

When Thana returned to the main hallway, Liam was waiting for her, a quiet understanding in his eyes and a half-carved sculpture in his hand. They didn't need to speak; he could always read her well enough to know when to leave the silence untouched. Together, they walked toward the sparring gym, the tension between them more like the calm before a storm than an absence of words. She was grateful for that—the unspoken bond that kept her grounded even when everything else felt like it was spiraling. She missed this.

As they entered the gym, they saw cadets gearing up for combat. The rhythmic sound of footfalls on the mat, the clash of weapons, and the sharp bark of commands from Professor Emetterio echoed through the space.

Garrick was already there, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet, his eyes scanning the room with excitement. When his gaze settled on Thana, a smile flickered across his face as he waved them over. Her stomach twisted in knots.

"Finally," he said as they approached, his tone teasing but warm. "Thought you might've bitched out."

Thana gave him a tight smile, the weight of the morning's events still weighing on her. "Just took a detour."

Garrick raised an eyebrow but didn't press. Instead, he nodded toward the cadets currently in the ring. The first years were circling each other, hesitant and clumsy. Professor Emetterio, standing nearby, sighed in frustration. "Stop dancing and attack," he barked.

"Tell me what they're doing wrong," Garrick said.

Thana crossed her arms, watching them for only a few seconds before rattling off her observations. "Footwork's too wide—they're leaving themselves open. The taller one keeps overreaching on his strikes. If the shorter one wasn't so scared, he could've already had him on the ground."

Garrick's grin widened, impressed. "Good eye." He turned to her, lowering his voice slightly, "But what are you going to do about that? When it's your turn?"

The question hit her with a jolt of anxiety, but she quickly swallowed it down. Thana glanced at Liam beside her, who gave her a reassuring nod. She drew strength from that—Liam's quiet presence like a tether keeping her from losing her fucking mind.

"I'll make sure they don't get a chance to expose my weaknesses," she said, her voice steady.

"Exactly," Garrick said, slapping a hand on her shoulder. "Trust your instincts."

The words settled something inside her. Garrick was more than just a mentor—he was family. He had trained under her father for several years and, now, Thana felt like she was learning from her father too.

Her focus shifted as the current match ended, the two cadets leaving the ring battered and breathless. The room seemed to shift with a collective breath as Professor Emetterio called forward the next pair.

"Violet Sorrengail and Imogen Cardulo," the professor barked, his voice cutting through the murmurs of the room.

Thana's pulse quickened. Imogen was a name she hadn't heard in a long time, but she recognized the girl instantly. They had crossed paths a few times when they were younger—back when their lives were simpler. She had heard whispers of Imogen's lineage, but seeing her now, it was unmistakable. Imogen was one of them, a child of the rebellion. The rebellion relics on Imogen's arms confirmed it. Distinctive marks that served as a form of punishment and identification. The sight of them made Thana feel sick.

Next to her, Garrick looked on with a quiet admiration. "Carludo's kid," he muttered, "her Dad was one of the best riders I ever heard of. Used to ride with your dad from time to time." Thana went pale.

Imogen stepped into the ring with Violet, her movements less refined than Thana had expected. She was strong—Thana could see that—but her strikes lacked precision. She moved with determination, but not with the finesse of a seasoned fighter. Thana's fists clenched unconsciously. Why did it bother her that Imogen was earning Garrick's respect when Thana knew she could've done better?

Violet, for her part, was quicker but hesitant. Her smaller frame allowed her to dodge Imogen's heavier blows, but she wasn't confident, and it showed. As Imogen pressed harder, Violet's uncertainty began to cost her. The room grew tense with each strike, Imogen's frustration building as she tried to land a decisive hit.

Garrick leaned closer to Thana, eyes glinting with interest. "She's stronger than she looks," he whispered, nodding toward Imogen. "Not as sharp as you, but there's something raw there. Natural."

Thana swallowed the bitter taste of jealousy that rose in her throat. She knew Garrick wasn't comparing them intentionally, but the comment still stung. Natural. He'd never called Thana a natural.

Imogen landed a heavy strike, and Violet stumbled, her breath coming in short gasps. For a moment, it seemed like Imogen might overpower her entirely, but Violet wasn't done yet. She twisted out of Imogen's grip, using her agility to dart away and land a clean strike on Imogen's side.

The room stirred with murmurs as the fight escalated. Imogen, now visibly frustrated, swung wide, and Violet took advantage of the opening. She slipped under Imogen's arm, her quick reflexes allowing her to land another hit. Imogen grunted in pain but didn't back down. She charged again, this time with less control, her desperation starting to show.

Violet dodged, but this time she wasn't fast enough. Imogen caught her by the arm, twisting with all her strength. There was a sickening crack as Violet's arm gave way, her cry of pain cutting through the noise of the gym.

The room fell into stunned silence.

Thana's heart raced as she watched Violet crumple to the ground, clutching her arm in agony. The satisfaction she expected didn't come. Instead, there was only a deep, unsettling discomfort. She felt something like relief for Imogen, but also a stab of guilt for the jealousy she had carried.

Imogen stepped back, breathing hard, her face a mixture of triumph and shock. She hadn't meant to break Violet's arm—Thana could see that in her eyes—but it had happened nonetheless. Professor Emetterio called an immediate end to the match.

Liam's hand brushed against Thana's, grounding her in the moment. His silent support was the only thing keeping her from unraveling entirely. She glanced at Garrick, who let out a low whistle.

"That was... intense," he said, clearly impressed with Imogen's strength, though the pride in his voice stung Thana again.

But she couldn't focus on that now. As Xaden rushed to Violet's side, concern etched on his face, Thana forced herself to turn away. The burning jealousy inside her hadn't faded, but neither had the storm of emotions swirling in her chest.

Garrick clapped her on the shoulder, oblivious to the turmoil inside her. "Your turn next time," he said with a grin, "and I expect you to put on a better show than that."

Thana forced a smirk, but inside, her anger raged on.

And she knew—soon, that fury would need an outlet.

[jazminrhode1]

Chapter 14: The Mother

You are not your mother, Thana. Where she saw only despair, you find reasons to keep fighting. I see it in every choice you make, every battle you take on. Strength isn’t the absence of pain—it’s carrying it and still moving forward, and you do that every day in a way she never could.

Excerpt of recovered correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson to Thana Valaren.

~

Thana’s eyes flickered open, the chill of the stone seeping into her bones. The walls were rough, jagged, as though they had been untouched for centuries. The faint drip of water echoed in the silence, and her body ached as if she had been beaten senseless. But it wasn’t the physical pain that consumed her—it was the emptiness, the absence of something she couldn’t quite name. She closed her eyes again, willing herself to sleep, to escape the darkness that gnawed at her thoughts.

But then, a soft voice whispered in the corner of her mind, soothing, familiar.

“Thana.”

Her heart skipped a beat, a flutter of hope rising within her chest. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking against the dim light.

Her mother stood in front of her, bathed in an ethereal glow, her features soft yet distinct, like a faint memory.

“Mom?” Thana’s voice cracked, the word feeling foreign on her lips. She had never imagined she would speak to her mother again, not after everything that had happened. Her mother’s death had fractured her, and the absence had left a hole so deep, she feared it would consume her.

“Yes, Thana.” Her mother smiled gently, kneeling beside her. “You’ve grown so much. Stronger than I ever thought possible.”

Thana’s breath hitched. “But you... You’re not real. You can’t be…”

Her mother’s hand brushed her cheek, warm, comforting. “You’ve always had the strength to reach across the veil, Thana. Even when you didn’t know it.”

Thana swallowed hard, trying to process her mother’s words. “I don’t understand.”

Her mother’s expression softened, and she stroked Thana’s hair. “You are stronger than you realize, my darling Thana.”

Thana’s chest tightened. “I’ve failed him. I’ve failed everyone.”

Her mother smiled softly, her hand gently brushing Thana’s cheek. “No, you haven’t. You are more than capable. And your dragon—” She paused, her eyes glinting with knowing. “Your dragon would do anything to protect you.”

Thana felt the weight of her mother’s words, but her heart ached with uncertainty. “I can’t trust anyone, not after everything that’s happened… not even Xaden.”

Her mother’s gaze darkened, a shadow crossing her ethereal face. “A war is coming, Thana. Basgiath is corrupt. You cannot trust them, not even Xaden.”

The words echoed in Thana’s mind. She didn’t know if her mother was telling the truth or speaking is poetic psychosis. Before she hedge for more, her mother’s form began to flicker, as though she were fading away into the air itself.

“Wait—” Thana gasped, reaching for her. “Mom, don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me alone again.”

But the apparition was gone. The warmth, the comfort, all of it vanished into thin air, leaving only the cold stone and the silence.

“Thana.”

Her name—spoken with such cruel finality—pulled her back to reality. She looked up to see Dain standing over her, his expression unreadable. He crouched down beside her, his fingers brushing against her temple, his touch cold.

“You’re pathetic,” Dain spat, his voice filled with contempt. “Your father was a coward, and so are you. Your mother was a derranged, and you’re no different.”

Thana recoiled from his words, as though they were a physical blow. She could barely keep her eyes open, but his presence filled her with a searing rage. She wanted to scream at him, to fight back, but her body was too weak.

Dain’s lips curled into a sneer. “No one is coming for you and you will sit here and you will rot for all eternity just like your father should have.”

He turned away, leaving her to perrish in the dungeon, the door slamming shut with a resounding thud.

As the cold began to settle into her bones, a small figure appeared in the corner of her vision. At first, she thought it was a trick of the light, but then she saw him clearly—an eight-year-old boy, sitting quietly, his big brown eyes watching her.

Thana’s heart stuttered in her chest. She blinked, trying to clear her blurry vision.

“Liam?” she whispered, her voice breaking.

The boy shook his head, a small smile on his lips. “No, Thana. I’m not Liam.”

Thana’s breath hitched as she recognized him. “Aric?”

The boy nodded, his smile gentle but sad. “I always wanted to be just like you when I grew up. I wanted to follow everything that you did. When I was poorly and you would come and tell me about all of your adventures I wanted to go on them with, Thana. And now… Now I get to hike the valleys and ride dragon with you like you always promised I would.”

Thana’s chest tightened, and she felt tears welling up once more. “I’m so sorry, Aric. I should’ve protected you. I should’ve looked after you. If I had, you wouldn’t have…”

Aric shook his head and crawled towards her, his small hand reaching out to grasp hers. “You’re my hero, Thana. You always were. I am so proud to call you my sister.”

Thana’s heart swelled with an overwhelming mix of grief and love. “I’m so sorry.”

Aric smiled again, his eyes bright with warmth. “This is not your fault. None of it is. I was ill but, you made me feel well.”

The words struck her like a bolt of lightning, and for a moment, it was as if everything stopped—her grief, her pain, her doubts. But then Aric’s expression changed, a hint of urgency creeping into his voice.

“They’re coming,” he whispered.

Before she could ask who, Aric kissed her forehead gently. “I’ll be with you for many more adventures. Always.” Then he retreated back into the corner.

Thana’s heart shattered as she reached for him, but he was gone.

The door slammed open with a force that shook the room, and Liam rushed in, his face pale, his eyes wild with fear. “Thana!” He rushed to her side, lifting her gently into his arms. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m here. I’ve got you”

Thana’s vision blurred, her strength waning. But just before everything faded to black, she looked back to the corner.

Aric was gone.

~

Thana awoke in a soft bed, her body covered in a warm blanket. The sterile scent of healing herbs filled her nostrils, and she could hear the soft murmur of voices nearby.

She turned her head slightly, and her heart ached as she saw Liam sitting beside her, his hand cupped in hers and head resting on the edge of her bed, asleep. Across the room, Xaden sat in a chair, his posture relaxed as he slept in an armchair. Garrick, too, was slumped against the wall, his back to the chair, asleep on the floor.

Thana’s heart squeezed, but it was the absence of something—or someone—that pulled at her.

She reached out in her mind, calling for the one who had saved her, the one who had been there when everything else had failed.

Válka? she whispered softly.

His voice came to her like a distant rumble, warm and comforting. I’m here, Thana.

Thana let out a sigh of relief. Thank you, she said, knowing it was Válka who sent out a search party to look for her. For finding me, she clarified.

If the world burned down, I’d still search the ashes for you, Thana. His words wrapped around her, offering a sense of safety she hadn’t realized that she needed.

She smiled, a small, fragile thing, but it was enough. Rest now, Thana. You just rest.

With a final whisper, Válka’s presence faded, but the sentiment of his words remained. Thana closed her eyes, drifting into a deep and restful sleep, knowing that, despite everything, she was not alone.