#recently realizing that touch is my love language (if such a thing even is real. I kind of put it into pop-anthropology bin.)

[vulnerasti-cor-meum]

i need someone to whom to cling (physically) 24/7 oh my God

[ladymoody]

SATURDAY NIGHT

lorenzo berkshire x fem!reader

warnings: nsfw +18, childhood friends concept, teasing in public, explicit and suggestive language, dirty talk, v rubbing, blowjob, p in v penetration (unprotected), creampie, cum in general.

word count: 3,7k

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ masterlist ; playlist ; characters list ; my website

the clock struck 8pm. I won’t lie saying I wasn’t nervous, because I was, I was very nervous.

my parents had recently become in touch with enzo’s parents again after 5 years of no communication, so now I was getting ready in my room to hang out with them.

enzo and I met when we were kids. he was slightly older than me but we were both in elementary school. our parents immediately became friends so we started hanging out quite often.

enzo had always been very sweet with me but also a pain in the ass. since we were kids, we often argued and we almost even hit each other once. though, I cared about him and I guess he cared about me too. through time enzo and I grew up and became distant — we stopped playing together and we began to hang out once every two months at best.

once we started high school, we lost touch and so did our parents.

I often thought about him. I quite missed his presence as he had filled a good part of my childhood memories. the only thing I had left of him was a necklace he got me the last time we hung out — it had a little swan as a charm and I was completely in love with it. I found myself touching it every now and then, in an attempt to feel enzo’s presence with me again.

“y/n! are you ready, honey?” my mom called out from outside — she was already in the car.

“I’m coming!” I said out of the window, rolling my eyes in annoyance.

I glanced at myself in the mirror one more time to check if I looked good. I didn’t know why, but I felt the need to look good. then I grabbed my purse and headed out fidgeting my house keys.

once outside, I closed the door behind me, I locked it, and then I spotted my parent’s car. I saw my father looking at me up and down through the window, his gaze not much approving of my outfit — I was wearing a fancy black dress, elegant and delicate. it was quite long, but not too long, and had a wide neckline that showed my cleavage and my boobs which perfectly sat there.

I approached their car and got in. “hi.”

my father sighed, almost sounding like he grunted. my mom, on the other hand, turned around and smiled at me. “are you excited?”

“a bit, yeah.”

“enzo will have turned into a handsome man by now, don’t you think?” she teased.

“mom.” I warned.

“just saying.”

my dad started the car and I put my headphones on, ready to get lost in my fantasy world as I watched the real one out of my window.

I didn’t want to admit it, but I did feel something odd in my stomach… like butterflies? impossible. enzo and I had only been friends and nothing else. besides he wasn’t even my type — for what I could remember from the last time we met. I sighed and accepted the fact the hangout would have been quite awkward.

(skip time)

my dad pulled over and we all got out of the car. the light of the streetlights surrounding me caught my attention, making me look up and see the dark sky of the night. I loved that feeling.

“cover up.” my dad walked past me looking down at my cleavage. I knew my dress wasn’t so appropriate, but I didn’t have many dresses in my closet.

I grabbed my purse and closed the car door before following my parents into the bar where my and enzo’s parents agreed on meeting.

the bar from the outside looked really good — there were a few glass tables and small dark red armchairs probably made of velvet. there were some people already, drinking and chatting, and enjoying each other’s company. the dim lights were placed on the tables, followed by some candles as well, creating a cozy and elegant atmosphere for the whole bar.

my parents walked in first, making me snap back to reality. I followed them inside, realizing the big moment had come. my eyes lazily roamed over the room scanning it to spot enzo and his parents, but they weren’t there yet. we decided to get back out and sit at one of the tables outside that I had previously spotted. as we settled down, my mom spoke.

“are you nervous?”

in the meantime, I calmed down. I mean, it was just a reunion, right?

“I’m fine, actually.” I replied nonchalantly, both because it was a bit true, and because I still needed to convince myself of it.

(skip time)

I looked at my watch on my left wrist, which showed it was already 9:45pm. the meeting should’ve been at 9:30, but I let out a huff.

before I could complain to my parents, who were busy on their phones, my attention shifted to the three figures approaching us from afar — enzo and his parents.

his mom and dad still looked the same, slightly older, obviously. and enzo… wait, that was enzo? he looked way taller than the last time, his hair was still brown but he had changed haircut as it seemed more like a sort of mullet with a few strands falling down on his forehead, he was grinning and looking in our direction as he got closer, making me appreciate his outfit as well — his black t-shirt amazingly hugged his torso, highlighting his abs and chest, long black pants fell down his legs matching his t-shirt, and the shoes as well, but not his belt which was brown and silvery.

oh my goodness.

I would’ve said it wasn’t him, but the way he was smirking with his eyes made me recognize him without a doubt. that was my childhood friend lorenzo berkshire.

“my god, hi.” my mother stood up hugging enzo’s mom. my father stood up too, saying hi to his dad and shaking his hand. enzo stared at me as I stared at him back. he nodded as if he wanted to say hi to me as well, and I smiled in return.

“you grew up so much!” my mom caressed enzo’s cheek, making him slightly blush. enzo glanced at the ground, trying his best to seem polite in dodging my parents’ touching. after that, enzo’s parents’ attention turned to me, admiring how I had grown up as well. (I will let up on this for your sake).

we all sat down around the table, the seats felt so comfortable. my and enzo’s parents started talking, happy to finally meet each other again, as enzo looked at me — I felt his eyes wandering on my figure so much that it seemed like his gaze was burning my skin. after a couple of seconds, I looked up, seeing his eyes, which shifted quickly from my cleavage to meet mine. I smiled and he smiled back, rubbing the back of his head. as he did so, I could finally have a better look at his silver bracelet that made his wrist look delicate and sexy.

“hey.” he broke the silence, he was sitting right next to me.

“hi.” I said back, eyeing him up a bit.

“how’s your life going?” he asked as he propped his head on his hand and turned his attention to me.

“good, good… yours?”

“same.” he eyed me back up, scanning my figure in my tight dress. his tongue licked his upper lip subtly.

our conversation went going for half an hour and it was totally awkward. not because enzo and I had nothing to talk about, but because I kept feeling his gaze on me all the time — every single movement I did, even the slightest, he looked. to finally break the moment was enzo’s mother.

“you grew up so much… I still remember you playing with my enzo at the playground.” she said with a hint of nostalgia in her voice. I smiled at her words. she had always been so sweet.

in the meantime we had already ordered our drinks — enzo had ordered some martini and I had decided to get the same. the bartender brought the beverages to us a few minutes later and we started sipping them as I kept sharing words with enzo’s parents.

“do you have a boyfriend now?” enzo asked me. his voice had lowered a bit not to let our parents hear us too much as they began to talk to each other once again, shifting their attention away from us two.

“no. do you have a girlfriend?”

“no.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I couldn’t understand why, but I felt relieved by the news of him still being single. I felt… possessive over him? as we kept chatting I couldn’t help letting my eyes fall on his hands several times as he gestured while speaking, even his hands grew up with him — they were veiny now, bigger than the last time we saw each other, and each finger had at least one ring.

“you sure you’re single? no guy drooling over you?” he said out of the blue, his eyebrows furrowed, interrupting the speech he was giving a few seconds before.

“yeah, I’m sure. what’s wrong?” I chuckled.

“I hardly believe a pretty thing like you hasn’t got a nice boyfriend.”

“well, guess what...” I sarcastically spoke and we both laughed.

but then he suddenly stopped, becoming all serious as his eyes stayed on me. I looked at him with a confused expression and I calmed down, finishing to laugh as well.

“I’m glad to hear that. you’re still my friend, aren’t you?” he spoke lowly, marking the word ‘my’ with his voice while his hand wandered on my bare thigh.

I nodded, not understanding what was happening. his touch gave me shivers.

he backed up, now fully focusing on my parents who started asking him questions, yet his hand stayed on my thigh — his thumb caressed my skin every now and then as his other fingers squeezed it.

I didn’t know what to think of it but I definitely enjoyed his touch and I didn’t want him to stop whatever he had in mind.

(skip time)

as the night went on, we all found each other more comfortable than at the beginning. but for each passing minute, enzo’s hand slid upper and upper. suddenly, when I was chatting with his father, his hand touched the hem of my dress, tugging at it, and slightly sneaking under the fabric to brush against my panties.

I tried to hold back a gasp, but I couldn’t do anything with the light blush that spread across my cheeks. I tried to push his hand away, but the harder I tried, the further he went until he completely felt my panties under his fingers.

enzo abruptly pulled his hand away, stood up, and he spoke to his and my parents.

“I’m going to smoke.” he picked up his lighter with his right hand while his left one still wandered in his pocket to find the pack of cigarettes.

“your father and I told you to quit, lorenzo.” his mother intervened.

“I will, I promise.” he grinned as he walked away to find a place to enjoy his cigarette.

“would you fancy keeping him company?” his mother changed her tone, sounding sweeter as she spoke to me.

“sure.” I nodded excitedly, hinting a smile as I stood up to follow him. 

I made a little run to reach him, and he slightly turned back but once he spotted me with the corner of his eye, he drew his attention back in front of him.

“your parents let you smoke?”

“I ain’t a kid anymore, aren’t I?” he replied with a cocky smirk. “but they don’t like when I do it.”

I nodded as silence fell between us again and we headed behind a wall, I leaned my back against it and enzo stood in front of me.

“you still have the necklace I got you when we were kids?” he noticed, gazing at my cleavage.

“yeah.”

“it looks good on your boobs.”

“excuse me?”

“I said it looks good with your hoops. your earrings.” he said, but I swore I had heard something else.

“you think they match?”

“yeah.” I could tell he was not staring at my necklace, but he was looking a little lower. though, I decided not to push it further and we kept chatting for a bit until he finished his cigarette.

“did I tell you I’ve got myself a car?” he said, lifting his eyebrows.

“no, you didn’t.. have you really?”

“yup. wanna see it?”

“ ‘course.”

he tilted his head in the direction of his car and looked at me before we started walking. “I drove my parents here.” he boasted a bit.

“damn, you’ve really grown into a gentleman.” I complimented him, being a bit sarcastic. but he was indeed a gentleman, a sexy gentleman if I might say.

we walked a few more meters before approaching his gorgeous dark red car.

“wow…”

“the insides are even better, come on.” he said as he picked up his keys and threw them up in the air, before catching them with a smooth movement and making his way to open his gem.

“it won’t bite you.” he said as he got into the driver’s seat. I smiled and got in as well.

I admired the insides and as he said, they were indeed beautiful and looked quite luxurious.

“did you pay a lot of money for this gem?”

“uhm… let’s just say that I worked hard for it.” he smirked, leaning against the seat.

“wanna spice this up a bit?” he suddenly suggested as he moved his head to face me. his eyes fell on my cleavage for what seemed like the millionth time that night, before shifting back on mine.

“spice this up?” I echoed slightly confused, tilting my head towards one side. though I knew what he meant by that, I just enjoyed playing dumb.

“yeah, with some music.”

“uhm, sure, why not.” I smirked and he turned the radio on.

(I recommend playing this while reading. check my playlist)

“I like this song.” I spoke.

“yeah?” he spoke back, staring at my lips. I smirked to myself as I noticed how he was not concentrating on what I had just said at all.

“mh-hum.” I nodded as I shifted completely on my seat, facing him with my body as well. I gazed at his lips too.

“would you like to know an interesting fact about this car?”

“yeah.”

“well, it’s soundproof.”

and there I did 2+2. I knew what he had in mind and he was planning on it from the real beginning.

“soundproof, mh?” I smirked. “and how is it useful to you?”

his smirk got wider as he leaned in and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“you’ve grown into a really gorgeous woman, you know that?” he looked at me with a darker gaze, his voice slightly above a whisper.

“I saw you swinging your hips and showing off your little ass as we walked. I immediately understood the innocent little girl I once knew was completely gone.”

my eyes widened for less than a second, before turning back seductive as I listened to him.

“and that little girl, who’s now a menacing woman, enjoined my previous playing on her thigh, didn’t she?” he continued,  his smirk never leaving his face.

“you were crazy for doing that in front of our parents.”

“you didn’t complain.”

“I tried to push your hand away.”

“you didn’t try hard enough.”

“how do you know that?”

“because I know damn well you liked my fingers on your skin, squeezing it and slowly going upwards. I could feel that you were into it… your panties were soaked, doll.”

I sighed. continuing to pretend would’ve been useless. I almost jumped on him, my hands finding his jaw as I held his face close enough to capture his lips in a fierce kiss. he happily wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me onto his lap as he kissed me back. our lips moved so passionately that I moaned every other second.

“fuck, baby… that was what I wanted…” he panted between kisses.

“you taste so good…” I moaned.

“let’s keep kissing then…” he groaned back as we heavily made out. his hand slipped under my dress, finding my drenched panties once again. he rubbed my pussy against the fabric, making me squirm on him, and let out desperate yet muffled moans against his lips.

“fuck… you are completely soaked.” he panted after his hand slid into my underwear — his middle finger rubbed my folds at a slow and sexual pace.

“ughh— mhh..” I clang onto him, my nails dug into his shoulders.

enzo pulled his hand away, leaving me needy of his touch, before starting to kiss me again. I kissed him back as my hand glided from his lower chest to his belt, and then I tugged at it, making him chuckle.

“someone’s impatient?” he teased, leaving some lazy kisses on my jaw.

I hummed in response, backing up enough to give room to my hands and undo his belt. enzo bit his bottom lip.

he lifted his hips up to let me pull his pants down, but without warning, I took his boxers off as well. he let out a low gasp, followed by a groan as he saw his hard cock popping out and standing right there for me. I smirked and immediately crawled back to my seat, before bending over and kissing his tip.

enzo threw his head back and shut his eyes, while my hand stroked his erection up and down and my mouth sucked on his leaking tip.

“ohh just like that…” he grabbed my hair, pulling it almost painfully, and forced me to go all my way down. I slightly gagged but quickly got myself together as I sucked on his dick completely, my lips touching his balls.

I could feel my throat giving me signals that I needed to pull out, but I couldn’t, I was making enzo feel too good.

“ughh! mhh— baby!” he jerked his hips upwards, trying to meet my movements.

I kept going for some minutes until I heard him groan and moan underneath me, so I understood he was getting close. I fastened my pace, trying to satisfy his needs, and in a matter of seconds, he spurted his seed down my throat.

“swallow… go on… swallow…” he encouraged me, panting heavily as he pulled my head back and watched me swallow his cum. I looked at him, not breaking the eye contact as I tasted him on my tongue, meanwhile, he watched me with an arrogant, yet affectionate gaze as his seed dripped down the corners of my mouth.

“backseat. now.” he smirked and pecked my lips, tasting himself on them. I happily moved into the back of the car, laying down on the seats as I watched him do the same thing and lay on top of me.

“you’re so beautiful… you’ve grown so well… fuck…” he groaned kissing my neck like a starved man — but suddenly he pulled away and his hands rushed on him to pull down his pants and boxers fully.

I bit my lip at the sight and in the meantime, I helped him taking his shirt off. he smirked, enjoying how I was as eager as him, and once his clothes were out of the way, he helped me undress as well.

“open up…” he arrogantly spread my legs, making me wrap them around his waist as he lined up against my core. “mhh…” I let out, my nails already digging into his back as I pulled him close to me.

“so wet… I bet you’re so tight too…” he said as he rubbed the tip of his erection back and forth against my folds.

“why don’t you go ahead and see yourself?” I teased him, smirking as I stole him kisses.

“I’m gonna fuck you hard.” he said, his teeth clenched.

suddenly he thrust in. I let out a moan mixed with a gasp as I felt my walls adjust to his size. He hissed, burying his face in the crook of my neck as he slowly started to grind his hips against mine.

“fuck, baby… ohh god…” he groaned in my ear — his thrusts becoming more and more urgent.

I knew our parents were wondering where we were or what we were doing, but enzo’s dick was all I could focus on at that moment. I felt it throbbing inside of me, eager to hit every good spot and make me come undone underneath him.

“ugh— keep going!” I encouraged him as I dug my nails into his back, scratching his skin and making enzo suck in air through his teeth multiple times.

my moans only fueled his hunger, his willingness to come inside of me, and I couldn’t help but give them to him all the time as he pistoned fast and hard. we didn’t worry about using a condom, we didn’t think about it and we didn’t even discuss it — we were too lost in the moment to mention that. I knew I wasn’t on birth control, but my paranoia could’ve waited. enzo was more important.

“ohh, baby! I’m close… please…” his eyebrows furrowed in a blissful expression, letting me know he was indeed getting close.

as his thrusts became more uneven, I began to realize I was getting close too. he was going rough, maybe too rough for me to handle him, and I could feel my body burning due to his harshness, but then I felt it. I felt my orgasm coming.

“enzo!” I cried out, arching my back and throwing my head against the seat. my juices coated his dick, which spurted his hot seed a few seconds later.

enzo grunted in my ear, altering incoherent murmured praises to desperate whimpers. “ohh— baby… god…” he moaned.

I chuckled, my hands caressing his back in a soothing manner.

“you okay?” he asked me, leaving a sweet kiss on my jaw.

I nodded, giving him a reassuring smile and he smiled back.

“we should probably get back to our parents…”

“we should.” he smirked. “but they can wait a little more…”

[loaksky]

— 𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒅 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒏 & 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒏𝒆 | 𝒂. 𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏

emt!abby x fem!reader, smut (mdni or i scream) / fluff / established relationship, wc: 3k

synopsis: you didn’t think you’d get away with baiting abby before dinner, did you?

content warnings: language, strap-on sex (reader!receiving), fingering (reader!receiving), oral (reader!receiving), abby has a filthy mouth & reader’s a tease, brief mentions of a breeding kink brrrr, basically pwp but like also maybe a lil ? idk, i’m still new to tagging 18 + content AH.

author’s notes: i’m back!! and with smutty continuation of this oneshot! the abby brainrot is very real, i fear, so i couldn’t help but expand. there’s a lil surprise at the end hehehe. also! pls feel free to chat with me thru my ask box! <3

main masterlist | tlou masterlist

Abby’s patience is admittedly wearing thin.

She’d managed to keep it together during the car ride to the restaurant, kept her cool while ordering through lingering touches and hooded gazes. Hell, she’d somehow breathed through a coy hand resting against her thigh, sneaky pinky nestling in the seam of her taut trousers while Nora and mutual friends chatted about their recent endeavors.

“You’re cutting it close,” Abby whispers a warning to you after you’d brushed something from the plump of her bottom lip and dragged.

You popped the pad of your thumb past your glossed lips and Abby had to swallow hard before she choked on her bite.

The smile you give her is sly, makes her rub her thighs together as your shoulders roll back and your chest pushes forward. She’d been too preoccupied with ordering, with downing water after water because, christ, it was hot in here, to notice that maybe she was the only one burning up.

Gooseflesh ripples over your arms and your nipples are pebbled against the satin of your dress. She could nearly drool, thinking about all the things she’d love to do to you in and out of that flimsy little gown.

“Can I tell you a secret?” you reply, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Your lips nearly brush the shell as Abby spears a cut of dessert and bites hard to maintain her facade. She hums.

“M’not wearing anything underneath,” you divulge, eyes twinkling when Abby leans back in her seat and watches you with her jaw set.

“And what would you like me to do with that information, angel?” Abby bites, playing into your game easily.

“Whatever you wanna,” you reply softly, gaze far too dreamy for Abby’s sanity. “I’ll be good.”

And then you have the audacity to smile at her like you haven’t lit a fire in the pit of her belly. Like you aren’t tempting her to clear every available surface and bend you over the table. She’d been doing so well, had made it through every course. But now, as everyone socializes and finishes Nora’s birthday cake, she feels her resolve crumbling.

“You guys are so cute,” one of Abby’s friends coos, absolutely oblivious to the little cat and mouse game you’ve started before the two of you even walked into the restaurant.

Abby laughs humorlessly behind a sip of her drink while you preen under the attention.

And she should’ve known better than to relax once you’d leaned back in your seat, wine glass wrapped in your slender fingers. The both of you are equally floored, but for vastly different reasons, when your hand slinks under the table top to grab right under the buckle of Abby’s belt.

Abby hadn’t expected you to be so blatant and you definitely hadn’t felt that when you straddled her earlier in the evening before the two of you left for dinner.

The ball’s in her court, she realizes, when she clocks the way you shift in your seat, arousal pooling between your thighs, no doubt. Your eyes are glazing over and your lips part.

“Everything alright, love?” Abby asks, feigning concern as her head tilts to the side.

She watches the way you rub your legs together involuntarily and she has to suppress the wicked grin that threatens to split her golden features.

You don’t answer and some of Abby’s friends who aren’t engrossed in conversation are watching from across the table in curiosity.

“Cat got your tongue?” she whispers into your small little bubble, teeming with sexual tension and ready to burst.

She sees the way your throat bobs, thinks to herself that she owes it to herself to mark you up after the shit you’d been pulling all night.

“My stomach hurts,” you say softly, and she knows exactly what you mean.

Knows that the ache isn’t from a bad appetizer or wine that just won’t seem to settle. No, you’re needy now. Worked yourself up so much trying to tease your girlfriend that your skin is dewy under the lowlight.

She glances at Nora who sits at the head of the table. Something gleams in her gaze and Abby knows that she knows. Hasn’t been able to shut up about you since the two of you made it official last fall.

“Might be time to get this one home,” Abby covers, merciful in front of friends because you’re not the only one desperate. “It’s a little past her bedtime.”

And typically, you’d be petulant, annoyed because even if you’re Abby’s girl, you’re not a child. But god, you can practically feel her inside despite clenching around nothing.

“Aww,” one friend frowns, you think her name is Mel. “It was nice getting everyone out for Nor’s birthday.”

Abby smiles, something genuine that only makes your toes curl because your girl is absolutely devastating, especially in a black button up that shows a dangerous amount of expanse and fitted black slacks that hug the most delicious part of her thighs.

“Definitely,” Abby agrees easily. “We have to grab lunch before you head back home, Nora.”

Nora winks and your cheeks warm because if there’s one person you can’t get anything by, it’s Abby’s closest friend.

“Just shoot me a text.”

And you know that she’s just in her element, being surrounded by her friends and people she’s grown up with, but as she makes her rounds and says her goodbyes, you can’t help the desire that bubbles.

What started as a slow simmer, something you could tamp down during the journey here and throughout dinner, was now a raging boil that warmed your veins from the inside out.

It’s why the two of you barely make it to the car before Abby’s hand is up your dress and her fingers are circling the heat of your slick slit.

“You’re already so fuckin’ wet,” she whispers breathlessly, leaning over the center console to slot her lips with yours.

“Been wet,” you admit against her mouth, throwing your head back against the headrest when the tips of her fingers push past your entrance.

She breathes a laugh when you let out a cracked moan.

“Fuck,” you whimper.

“Yeah?” she taunts. “All it takes is a couple of fingers in your pussy to get you to behave?”

You’re watching her through hooded eyes, heels coming up to rest on the edge of the seat. And it’s such a dirty fucking sight, seeing the soft satin of your dress pooling around your hips as you spread your legs.

“More,” you beg, fingers wrapping around her wrist to hold her still. “Fuck, Abs, I need more.”

Abby’s brain nearly short circuits when you start rolling your hips, the heel of her palm bumping your sticky and swollen clit.

“Yeah, want more, angel?” she taunts. “Could’ve had this taken care of earlier if you just let me fuck you before we left. Now what, you’re all needy and wet.”

“S–ah, fuck!” you hiss when she adds a third finger and curls hard. “Please, please.”

“Yeah, you wanna cum, pretty girl?”

You nod eagerly, hips bucking desperately. Your cunt glistens under the fluorescents of the parking garage and Abby’s salivating as she watches you use her to get off.

“Want it, Bibi,” you whisper brokenly, that stupid fucking nickname rolling from your lips. “Wanna cum, please.”

She laughs breathlessly, boxers soaking through as she takes in the sight of you winding tight. She knows you’re gonna unravel soon, can feel it in the way the soft walls of your pussy flutters around her digits.

Then, like you’ve committed the most cardinal sin, she’s punishing you, withdrawing from your heat to slip her fingers past her lips to savor your arousal.

“You taste so fuckin’ good,” she sighs, leaning back in her seat to slot the key into the ignition.

“Abby, please,” you cry out, clenching around the loss of her knuckles stretching you out.

“Gonna have to be patient and wait, pretty girl.”

Despite the AC on full blast, your balmy skin is sticky with sweat. Abby’s got you right where she wants you, naked and between her spread knees at the foot of her bed. The silk of the oversized scarf you’d used as a cover up earlier in the night binds your wrists together at the small of your back and Abby thinks you look so fucking lovely like this.

“You’re so pretty like this,” she murmurs, thumb reaching out to brush the plush of your bottom lip. The pad slips into your mouth and her eyes widen a fraction when you look up her through your lashes. “You’ve been such a fuckin’ brat all night, y’know that?”

The dainty gold chain around your neck glints as your chest heaves, ‘A’ pendant catching a sliver of the moonlight as Abby presses her thumb down your throat.

“M’sorry,” you whimper around her digit. “I’ll—”

You swallow when your eye catches the silicone of Abby’s strap. It’s a new addition, a pretty purple that she’d picked out with you in mind. It’s got an obscene amount of ridges and fuck it’s—

“So big,” you choke.

A lazy smile spreads across Abby’s face.

“It is, isn’t it?” she entertains you, fist closing around the shaft. “Saw it and thought of you. Thought of all the ways I’d stretch your tiny little cunt and fuck you stupid.”

You’re drooling now, tears pooling the corner of your eyes and smudging your eye makeup.

“Want it bad, Abby, please.” Your hips roll over nothing and Abby’s licking her lips when she notices the little pool that glistens against the hardwood. “I’ll do anything, please, just— fuck, let me ride you, anything… I—”

“Think you deserve it?” she hums. “I was being generous earlier. Wanted to make you feel good, but you wanted to be a fucking tease. And for what? For you to soak through your dress and make a fucking mess on my floor.”

The moan you let out makes Abby’s breath hitch, almost makes her drop the act.

One more, she thinks to herself.

She pinches your cheeks between her fingers, forces you to come face to face with the lines of her cock.

“Spit,” she hisses.

And her eyes roll to the back of her head when you do, the string of saliva that connects your lips to her strap making her hips buck involuntarily.

In one movement, she’s yanking you to your feet and tossing you against the mattress. With your hands still bound, your cheek presses against the duvet, back arching and knees spreading to give her the perfect view of your ass and your pretty little slit.

“You get to have your fun after you cum around my cock,” Abby husks, large palms settling on the swell of your ass as the tip of her strap prods your entrance.

“Nnngh, Abby, fuck, pleasepleaseplease,” you keen. “All of it, please.”

And hearing you beg, hearing you so eager to be filled has Abby nearly feral. Has her pressing her length past the folds of your needy pussy and throwing her head back when you moan around the resistance.

“Jesus, fuck, you’re taking it so well,” she says shakily, sinking hilt deep.

“Please,” you sigh breathlessly. “Fuck me, Abby. I want you to use me and—”

Abby’s blowing out a forceful breath, can never get used to your filthy mouth. Her hips start rolling, finding a pace that has you moaning so loud she’s certain her neighbors can hear you doors down.

It doesn’t take much, just one of her hands snaking to your clit through her strokes to get you locking up and an incoherent mess.

When she pulls out, you collapse against the sheets, and she melts. Can’t be mean to her pretty girl for too long. She’s unfastening the silk around your wrists, hands smoothing over the swell of your hips to guide you onto your back.

You’re looking up at her with that fucked out look on your face.

“You can do another one, can’t you, angel?” she coos, doing an absolute one-eighty as she kneels between your thighs and licks a fat stripe up your slit to suck your clit past her lips. “You’re not gonna tap out on me after working me up all night, are you?”

And when you nod eagerly despite your body feeling so heavy, Abby’s heart swells. She’s kissing on your inner thighs, watching as your hole flutters deliciously.

“You said you’d be good,” she whispers, laving languidly at your your cunt. “So be a good girl and take it, hmm?”

“Anything, Abs, I’ll be good.”

She’s smiling a genuine smile, knows you’re a brat for the attention. And she can’t help herself, wants to give you anything and everything.

Her lips travel from your clit, presses gentle kisses up the soft flesh of your tummy, past your navel and between the valley of your breasts. She takes one nipple in her mouth and sucks hard as she tweaks the other one between the calloused pads of her fingers.

“You’re my good girl?” she whispers against your skin.

Your freed fingers tangle in her hair when she pops free from your nipple and bites hard on the juncture between your shoulder and your neck. She’s been desperate to add fresh purple blooms to the yellowing ones, doesn’t want anyone to get the wrong ideas.

“Always,” you swallow, arching into her touch.

One of her hands slides up the sheets and tangles with yours, and you’d think the gesture is sweet as she continues her ministrations up your throat, but she’s sliding the blunt head of her strap between the puffy lips of your cunt. She catches the arousal that pools there before sinking in slowly.

Doesn’t matter how many times she fucks you, how many different ways she folds you and has her way, the fit is always snug like a glove and it itches a part of her brain desperate to be sated.

“Don’t know how lucky you are,” she hums in your ear as her hips roll slowly, making sure you feel every last inch of her cock slipping through your needy little pussy.

You’re panting, sweaty chest colliding with hers as she braces part of her weight on the arm tangled with yours and settles the rest against your spent body.

And having Abby like this, pressed to you and taking care of you, you agree. You’re so lucky. But then she mutters something new that has your toes curling.

“So lucky I can’t knock you up,” she says softly, biting on an especially deep stroke. “Because if I could, angel? I’d be breeding you like clockwork.”

Your chin juts upwards, exposing more of your neck to Abby as she picks up the pace. The broken sob that leaves you has a shiteating grin lazily spreading.

“You like the idea of that, huh?” she whispers. “I bet you’d be so fucking pretty all swollen. All mine.”

One hand slides between your bodies and presses down hard over the bulge of Abby’s strap. You’re clawing at her bicep as she leans up to get a good look at you.

“C’mon, pretty girl, one more,” she almost begs. “Gimme one more.”

And it’s a mixture of her words, the sweet drag of her cock along the warmth of your gummy walls, and the pinched expression on her face that sends you soaring over the edge. Her name leaves your lips like a prayer, body wound so fucking tight as your second orgasm rips through you mercilessly.

Abby’s smiling gently at you as you come down, body falling slack against the sheets as your chest heaves lungfuls of air. She’s still fully sheathed, smoothing your hair from your face as she peppers kisses along your cheeks and over your eyelids.

“You’re actually unbelievable,” she murmurs, arms wrapping around your waist as she settles back against the mound of pillows strewn at the head of the bed.

“Am I?” you ask breathlessly, ear pressing against her sweaty chest to hear the thrum of her heart.

“Extremely,” she affirms, catching your bottom lip between her teeth. “Love you, angel.”

“Are you gonna use your charger?” you call from your spot in Abby’s bed, wrapped in a new duvet and wearing one of her sweatshirts.

“Yeah, but I have another cord and charging block somewhere,” she responds from the adjoining bathroom, finishing her routine before she settles in.

You only hum in response, crawling over to her side of the bed to throw open the drawer to her side table. Your fingers blindly grasp at foreign objects in search for the telltale square of the charging block and the wrapped chord, but instead, it smoothes over something like velvet.

“Huh?” Your eyebrows twitch when you grab the object, unwedging it from where it’d been tucked into the very back of the drawer.

And you hadn’t known what to expect, but your eyes are as wide as saucers when you find a small little velveteen box. You don’t want to be presumptuous, don’t want to get your hopes up, but when you flip the lid and find the most beautiful green gem set in a thin gold band, you’re choking on the sudden wave of emotions.

“Did you find i—”

When your gaze swings to the doorway, Abby’s figure blurred by the tears pooling your eyes, she’s cussing.

“Wait, fuck.”

“Is this what I think it is?” you ask shakily.

And Abby’s usually so good at reading you, but she can’t tell what kind of tears are spilling and she’s absolutely frozen with fear because she’d been waiting for the right time to ask. But it seems like the universe has other plans as you hesitantly stand to your feet, the hem of her ‘I Love Seattle’ sweatshirt falling midthigh.

“Abby,” you grill.

“Depends on what your answer is,” she says weakly.

The silence that blankets the two of you is suffocating, has Abby feeling like her heart’s in her ass. But then you’re closing the distance, ring box still tight in your hold as you’re pushing up on your toes to throw your arms around her neck.

“Yes, Abby, what the fuck?” you hiccup.

And the relief that floods her system has her brushing the tears from under your eyes and winding tight around your frame.

“Way to ruin my surprise, asshole.”

You throw your head back with a watery laugh before pressing further into her chest.

neng ©️ 2023

[theside-b]

What more can I say about this show? I’d previously compared the rhythm of First Note of Love with the likes of Unknown and The On1y One, but the more appropriate and direct comparison is with the underrated About Youth. From the music-driven plot, soft approach and wholly interesting characters, both shows have in common this trait of not dwelling into complex or difficult subjects, often choosing the lighter path guided by the romance.

The main difference between them comes in the cast. From all shows of the season, First Note of Love was the biggest target on my radar, the reason: Charles and Michael. Absolute fan-favorite and scene stealer from HIStory: Close to You, and the adorable prodigal son in My Tooth Your Love teaming up with now the focus square on them and joined by two other seasoned actors in Tim Liu and Jame Kasama. Taiwanese actors don’t sit in the same table with their neighbors, and while Charles and Michael are not bringing a bed to their fan meetings or sparking rumors of real-life dating, they really embraced the image of an adorable lovingly couple, going on cute dates and being cheesy (and overly romantic) with each other off-screen, meanwhile Tim and Jame have this very unique international connection with the two even scoring a side episode dedicated to them, and unlike other projects that feature international pairings this show explored and addressed head-on the linguistic barriers.

On the show, one of the biggest pitfalls was deftly avoided: Neil and Sea are on equal footing. Which was quite impressive of them to pull off, because not only they had the age gap between them but we start the series with Xiao Hai being Neil’s biggest fan, so from the get-go they were on uneven ground, but as the show progressed, we had two things happening at once: Xiao Hai realizing that Neil is much more than what and who he idolized and Neil himself becoming a fan (and falling head over heels for Sea). When we reach the midpoint is pretty clear that Xiao Hai has Neil’s heart, and not only that but Neil is also a fan of him, from Sea’s own music to his personality, they adore each other completely, flaws and all. And is actually a nice change of pace seeing a couple who is free to just fall in love without any unnecessary drama happening.

There isn’t a “bride”, or an ex-looking for a second chance, battle of classes, gangsters trying to ruin their lives, an overly dramatic break-up, circumstances that pull them apart, nothing like that at all happens here. Their biggest obstacle is actually themselves, they are so into each other that it becomes a problem, until it isn’t and the romance takes off beautifully. It’s like seeing one of the healthiest relationships unfold right in front of your eyes, a novelty really.

Next to them there is Reese and Orca in one of the most interesting dynamics seen in recent BL dramas. There is history here, but we are not allowed to witness, something did happen, something important and special to both of them. Orca left; Reese let him go. And then he is back, with no intention of leaving again empty-handed, if his going back to Thailand he is going to make sure he has Reese’s heart with him.

Orca joins a very fun trend of the class of’24: the “I have feelings and I going to make them your problem too!” archetype. Invading Reese’s house (which is debatable since he knew the door code), cooking him delicious meals, serenating his paramour, making Reese a hostage at his own home by taking long and luxurious showers and prowling the apartment naked, Orca didn’t let that man breathe for one second. It didn’t hurt them that their first interaction was Orca literally throwing himself at Reese and we along with him finding out that the Taiwanese learned thai just so they could talk — they confessing their love in each other’s mother language was such a sweet touch.

Much like the main couple there was plenty of openings for some juicy drama here (their first kiss happens at a funeral for crying out loud) but the show again choses the lighter route, from Orca hijinks, to Reese’s obvious crush and the cute MosBank cameos (we need a spin-off showing what kind of beef they have with Orca), the only thing stopping them is themselves, Reese actually says that.

That all might seem silly or uneventful, but is refreshing seeing grown-ups acting like grow-ups. Is not a show with wild storylines or bombastic turning points and sudden revelations. They are telling the stories of two couples that simply like each other and want to be together. It’s about them working around their own issues to be good for one another. It’s the reason why, unlike other Taiwanese shows, I firmly believe they are perfect for a stress-free binge watch.

The one major downside is the run-time, from episode one to the finale, it always feels like something good was left off the table due time constraint. The lack of Reese and Orca in the final episode felt criminal (they have a special episode focused on them in Thailand by the way, but is mostly a cute little thing starring Tim and Jame). The episodes clock around the 22/24-minute mark, and that leads me to believe that First Note of Love might have been conceived as a movie that got turned into a series later on, it’s probably the one series that I can clearly see how they would adapt into a feature film with ease.

As I said, there are subtle hints of very dark subjects lurking within the characters. Xiao Hai for example, we see that he grew up all alone, abandoned really, and there is a tense moment his mother reaches out to him, and he avoids her wanting nothing to with her or his family, later he states to Neil that thanks to his love he doesn’t feel alone anymore — the implications are there, but you have to be able to catch them and read as you see fit, the show never makes them all that clear, they could’ve explored more but they chose not to, maybe if they had more time they could have.

I also need to point it out: it’s the best (no question or room for debate) musical BL. All the songs were very good, and you can see they went all out to get them right, the lyrics always reflecting what we were dealing with in the episodes. Charles already had two tracks from HIStory under his belt, and Michael and Jame got training from professional musicians and instructors in how to perform in front of the cameras. This dedication led to some amazing moments and the most believable on-screen musicians in the genre. It also never felt like a full-on musical, but as if we were indeed watching professional stage performances. (Warner Music Taiwan was responsible for the soundtrack and having actual artists like Taiyo [who plays Matt] and Ben Wu providing them songs was a great call).

Another strong asset in the show was the location. The first major TW-BL drama not situated in Taipei, the port city of Kaohsiung served as this near-futuristic backdrop with stylish architecture and romantic scenery — the city is actually Taiwan’s new capital of music with labels HQs and musical festivals, that’s why the show takes place there, and it was refreshing seeing them in a location not all-that explored.

I cannot advocate for this show enough, so is a must-see recommendation from me.

[tilvcei]

► 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆

⭢ In which: you become ghostface newest target but figure out who’s been behind it all the whole time which shocks you, you loved ethan but he was so obsessed, maybe you were his everything.

☆ | Warning(s): blood , gore , death , suggestive language

☆ | note: when I saw Jack champion as Ethan Landry? I became obsessed recently. now I have a huge obsession with his character. and you will too ;)

☆ | gender: she/her (reader)

You had love for Ethan. you really did. but when it came down to certain things you didn’t like talking about, he dropped the topic. and that’s what you appreciated about him.

But also, he was crazy about you. feral if that’s what you wanna call it. very protective — yes he has that shy demeanor but when you actually take a good look at him in this moment? you can see he isn’t that innocent. if he can kill, he can do much more.

You just saw him twist someone’s guts. why wasn’t it obvious to you before? he was part of the killings. as well as Quinn and their father. the whole family was crazy, Sam got you tangled all into this but it wasn’t her fault you agreed to this anyways.

At the moment you were standing in the middle of Tara and Sam as they were surrounded by the family of Richie. you could see the anger and rage in their eyes. you get it, they lost their brother due to sam killing him. but he was so obsessed with the movies, it was his fault. not hers.

"He was obsessed with the movies! it wasn’t like sam had a choice. he attacked her first, what was she supposed to do? not fight back in her defense?" you questioned, your arm was still bleeding from when Quinn ‘accidentally’ stabbed you.

Ethan turned to you, "you’re really going to let that bitch put that in your pretty little mind? she’s the one in the wrong. Richie did nothing wrong! nothing! And she fucking killed him without any regret. she’s just like her damn father." Tara put a hand on your shoulder but Ethan glared at her.

"Don’t. don’t you fucking touch her!" Ethan yelled, Tara pushed you behind her while staring down Ethan, “No, no you stay the fuck away from her!” she yelled back, Ethan kept glaring at her.

"You keep gettin’ in the way. but I’m gonna fix that real soon, Tara." Ethan threatened, you backed away in fear. what happened to the Ethan you once loved and knew? what happened to the shy Ethan? the dorky one?

He then looked over at you with a smile, he looked at the blood on the knife and realized it was yours. his face turned into one of concern.

"Oh, baby I’m sorry if I hurt you. it wasn’t even aimed at you, it was for Sam. but here, cause Y’know, I love you so much." Ethan said with a crazed laugh.

He licked the blood from the knife, moaning while he did so which caught you off guard. Tara looked at him like he was crazy, what the actual hell was wrong with him..?

"Run!" Sam yelled, Tara grabbed your hand and the both of you started running, you were inside the museum of all the ghostface items and things every person was killed with, you slipped but returned your footing and dashed up the stairs.

"Are you really trying to take what’s mines, Tara?" You heard Ethan say in a low voice — and it scared you, if you were honest. a shiver ran down your spine.

You kept running and leaned against the railing, which broke and caused you to nearly fall. but Tara and Sam were quick to grab you by the wrist and stop you from falling all the way down. but you were hanging and nearly almost done for.

"My hands are slipping, just let go!" you said, Tara felt tears fall from her eyes as she started sobbing, "just hang on okay? just hold our hands, it’s gonna be okay." Sam reassured.

You screamed when a hand grabbed you by the ankle, "help! get off me! someone help!" you continued to yell. Tara held your hand tightly.

She saw Ethan at the bottom with his knife in his hand, a smirk plastered on his lips as he sucked your blood off his fingers.

"You heard her. now you’re hearing me. let her go, Tara." Ethan said with a low growl, "go to hell!" Sam screamed while glaring down at him.

Then your hand slipped, "shit, (Y/n) no!" Tara screamed, you fell to the ground with a thud and groaned in pain. you hurried and crawled away, but Ethan grabbed you by the legs and dragged you back, "No, no, no!" you yelled, looking for any weapon you could find close.

He turned you around and looked down at you with a crazed smile, his eyes glossing a bit because he had you right where he wanted you.

you were all his.

"Ethan, please. please don’t kill me, please." you begged, this must’ve triggered something in him because he went stiff, a frown on his lips appearing.

He cupped your cheek, "baby..why would you think I’d hurt you? wh..what? no, never. once this is all over you can leave with me, my dad, and sister. we wouldn’t have to worry about anything, it’ll be just us. ‘kay baby?" Ethan said while placing a kiss to your cheek.

you continued to sob, you tried pushing him away but you knew nothing was going to work. you were his and only his. It’s not like you didn’t mind it but you didn’t want it this way.

"Shh, my pretty baby. it’s gonna be okay." he whispered in your ear, something sharp stung you in the neck, you realized it was a needle — wha- what? why did he..?

Your eyes felt droopy, "’ts gonna be okay baby, I promise you." then you went limp in his arms. he got you exactly where he wanted you.

in his arms and only his arms. you were so good to him, no one was ever like that to him before. you were different — completely. that’s why he loved you so so so much.

nobody could take that away from him. not even family.

Note: Part two or..? I think this is good, amazing even. I really love the character so here’s my dedication to our precious bby Ethan & jack :))

[yuseirra]

Anaylsis on Ai Hoshino's character and speculations of how her relationship with her ex-boyfriend actually went

With the upcoming second season of the Oshi no Ko anime, I think this is a good time for me to write how I feel about this character. The manga seems to be reaching the final arc too, so if I make any guesses, it's probably now or a never thing! I'd like to post this before I get utterly proven wrong and it gets totally useless XD and who knows? Maybe I just may get some things right.

I had a chance to talk about how I felt Ai with @aihoshiino through an ask (their analyses are so good and I'm sure they'll write tons better than what I can offer) and it led me to realize how interesting the character is. So I ended up jotting my thoughts on my own and it became quite long.

This post will touch on how I think Ai's mind worked, and how it may have affected her relationship with her ex. I've been following the recent chapters, and I read up to ch. 152. This means I'm aware of most spoilers, and that this post would be swarming with it! If you're okay with it, please read ahead!

*I originally wrote this in a different language. I'm too tired to write the whole thing over again, so I used DeepL translate! I fixed some nouns that got lost within the translations, so should make sense for the most part. Sorry for the clumsy writing in advance!

While thinking about the recent developments in the onk manga, I noticed some things while listening to the opening of the anime version, so I'll write it down. The other day, I had the opportunity to discuss the characterization and personality development of Ai with someone else, even though it may be brief. There were some things that were notable in the behavior of this character in the novel version as well. I don't know how the story will develop, but from the information I got thus far, I feel I can outline what kind of person she is to some extent.

Ai has a very strong desire for "love" because she's never been loved properly. Rejection from parents in early childhood takes a tremendous toll on a person's development of self-assurance and self-esteem. I'm not an expert so I can't make a professional statement, but I think Ai often resorts fo have an avoidant (withdrawn) attitude. She want to have deep relationships with people, but she doesn't want to reveal their intimate "real" selves to others because she's unsure if she'll be accepted. Self-hatred is a big part of why she keeps it hidden. There's a very selfless reason why Ai decides lie: she does it because everyone likes the pretty, bright, lovable version of her. Ai protects herself by pretending, but they also protect the "outside" from the "ugly" version of her. Everyone prefers Ai to be this invincible idol, and so Ai acts that way because it's the way to contribute to the group and the world around her. In the end, Ai becomes so good at performing this idolized persona to the extent where she shows signs of being broken or disheveled, the others will react "That's not Ai" and deny it. But even though she's initially happy to be loved and accepted and have a place, ultimately that's not the kind of "love" she wants. This character has a very idealized idea of what love is, and she wants that kind of love where you put yourself out there and it's accepted, but when you think about it, it's her parents who should have given her that kind of love. What she wants is the unconditional, the agape type of love, the type she never got that early in her life. In reality, she was actually always getting the love from her fans, and she was giving love in return, whatever form of love it was. It was just that she wasn't sure if it was love at all. That's the sad part about this character, she has a very strong image of what love is, and she's not sure if it's love when it comes to these whole other variety of emotions. That's why she says in her idol songs that she really wants to love her fans, even though she's already doing it… When Ai became a parent and was in the position to give unconditional love, she began to think, "Will I know what love is? (Regardless of whether or not this was to be a wise choice to do this at such a young age, there are definitely people who actually have this sort of mental state. It may not make sense if you look at this character's emotional state and judgment from what's considered as the norm, but this is the flow of her thinking. It's not a healthy state, but it's not fair to just dismiss it as thoughtless, and foolish because this character has never experienced normal love.) However, the "love" she thinks of didn't just happen when she gave birth to and raised her children… Even for her own children, she kept putting on a bright face and couldn't live unadorned… This is how acting (lying) is a form of love for her. She tried so hard all the time. She lived as much as possible to fit in with others. She thinks this is showing consideration for the other person. This is another sad point, because she doesn't realize that when she reveals herself, others will still love her for who she is.

When interpreting the character of Ai, you shouldn't interpret her as someone who is emotionally stable and loved. The MV for the song "Idol" was my first introduction to the work "onk", and the initial feeling I had when I saw it was discomfort. This was because I felt like it was exposing a very vulnerable and precarious psychology of a young child. To compare it to other works, I think it's similar to the psychological state of One Piece's Tot Musica or Fleeting Lullaby, but even more extreme in a way because there's not even a metaphor to cover it up. It's a very honest song, and so I was like, "Is it okay to lay it all out there?" and at the same time, I was like, "This is going to be popular, but do people like stuff like this these days?" because it's about something that pretends to be okay, but it's really not. It's a song about struggles, about trying and trying. This discomfort dies out a bit when you "get used to it", so now I just enjoy the song like the crowd in the song going "Whoa! Whoa!" but the song is too "easy", it's… It's really, really easy to understand, because the lyrics are what it is. You don't even have to scrutinize it to recognize what it says. It's painfully honest.

But when I read the comic, I realized that was the entire point. Ai wanted to be honest, to reveal all of his intimate details, to be accepted, to understand others, to obtain what she thought was a "genuine relationship," and that's why he wrote this song. That's the core of the character. If the core of Aqua's character, which we talked about before (I wrote a different analysis on Aqua once too), is his inability to forgive himself, then the core of Ai's character's motivation is her desire to realize what she thinks is an "ideal form of love."

The problem is that this "lie" as a form of love comes in direct conflict with Ai's idealized notion of "love." After all, in Ai's mind, "true love" should be free of lies. Even when Ai has proposed the idea of lies being a form of love, she didn't even fully believe it herself. Because she kept wearing the mask of an "invincible idol" as an extension of her work, even in her daily life, she wasn't sure whether the love she was giving and receiving was really "love" or not. I think Ai is a character who thinks a lot about these things. This aligns with how celebrities are in real life, too. I realize that there must be many people who think differently from the image they are to be shown in the media.

I think this is what led to the breakup of her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, and I think she was trying to confess all of these feelings in the documentary, and I think it was meant to be a shock to the said character. It's probably going to be something that would hurt her ex-boyfriend in some way. I think this would only work if the boyfriend really loved her. I think she would have had good feelings towards her, love or not on her end as well. It just never came across. Ai's so used to pretending she's okay. She's the type of person who's very secretive and evasive when it comes to deepening a relationship. I think she avoided Kamiki because she thought it would be better for the both of them if she stayed away. On the other hand I think Kamiki would've been very dependent on her, and since this was a relationship he's had when he was very vulnerable and had been through some serious mess, Ai must've been kind of like a lifeline to him. He may have clung to her because she doesn't show her heart very often. Kamiki is an anxious attachment type, but Ai is an avoidant type, and I think that backfired in a very bad way. I don't think Kamiki was able to convince Ai to stay when the breakup happened… I don't know, maybe he was near the hospital when she gave birth because he really wanted to see his kids from a distance, this seems more likely given the how the storyline is going so far.

When Ai says, "I don't know," when Kamiki asks her, "Does Ai love me?" desperate for affection, she's trying to be honest in her own way. She can't simply say "no," to that but she really doesn't know if her feelings for him's really love. She can't lie to herself, so she wants to be honest. (Kamiki would've been so heartbroken, but when you look at the character of Ai, it's surprising to see a relationship without pretense. She wanted to be perfect in every moment, but she wasn't doing that with him.) I believe that Ai may have came to a conclusion that she's never loved anyone, whether towards her fans or to Kamiki, but she wants to "love properly" now. (Now that I think of it, Kana is the polar opposite of Ai. She's very honest and just plain states that she doesn't like her fans that much. It took Ai a really long time to say it, and if Ai was all wrapped up, Kana just went out and blurted it lol… I think that's what makes her so charming.) The song "Idol" was a song that summarizes the whole character of Ai, and I think she wanted to tell everyone that she loved(s) them, just like she could tell her children at the very end of the song.

She didn't want to get back together with her ex because she wanted to continue being an idol. She couldn't have a public relationship. But I think she wanted to show her kids to him because she gained a little bit of courage while raising them. That she could show her real self. When you look at a Ai, you can infer she has a lot welled up. They had always hidden themselves, and now they have "secrets" that are not just their own, living, that grow with time. She's always had vicious circle that led to self-hatred from all the lies she'd been creating, which led to anger and stress…and it was this close to being let out through the movie. Maybe that's why Aqua believes making movies is for her. It's to fulfill her desire to be freed from the lies.

When it comes to whether she loved Kamiki as much as the children or as much as Kamiki craved from her, it's hard to say for now. However, I've always noticed how Ai, who is very careful and cautious when it came to keeping her image, was willing gave her address and tried to show her children to him. That means she thought him as someone who she could trust. I thought that the ex must have liked Ai because they had a positive effect on her after their meeting. Considering their age, it is likely a case of two children who were unprotected and emotionally vulnerable and became close by relying on each other. I'm sure there were to be some type of bond at least.

It's all a matter of speculation, but Ai's method of "caring" usually boils down in ways that the other person has no idea about how Ai herself feels and her circumstances. I think that's what happened in her relationship with her boyfriend. She's like the rabbit doll in the beginning of Mephisto, with her colleagues in IDOL going "You're great! You're never sad or angry!". Everyone around her ends up adoring and blaming her like an object to project upon, without having to think about how Ai feels inside. I think the 15 year-lie would have acted as a confession of that situation, with the message being:

Isn't it possible that she cut him off unilaterally to "protect him from herself," and then when there were signs that things were stabilizing over time, through the children, the president, and the fans, she took the time to call him back when she could, for it to have ended up like this? It's possible that Ai seemed to be so unmoved that her potential feelings didn't resonate with the other party, who felt betrayed at the time because she seemed so cold and distant. Ai doesn't like herself, and may have decided it's better for her to leave. She may have thought that Kamiki's obsession with her was bad for himself, or with him being so driven to the point where he thought that she was all he had. At that point Ai didn't believe she knew love, so she thought he'd be disappointed later. This is only a speculation but Kamiki could've wanted to take responsibility for the children if he knew, but it was Ai who thought it'd better for her to carry all everything and go her separate ways, because if she kept her mouth shut and kept it a secret, it wouldn't hurt him… and it's a child she wanted to have (and if this were to be the case, Kamiki's own wishes probably were never taken into consideration at all). Surprisingly, Kamiki may have feelings of affection for the children he had with Ai. He's never come to met them, but that could be because Ai told him not to. He complimented how Ruby grew up to be so beautiful resembling both him and Ai, that'd mean he must still like her, right? He has a love-hate relationship with Ai, but he's never harmed or came into close contact with either of his children until they were grown up. Could it be that Ai told him to stay away from her when they had the breakup?(And then she calls him up years later and asks if he wants to see the kids, unintentionally driving him insane)

"I've been lying about loving you all this time, and I don't want to do that anymore. Now I'm really going to tell you what's on my mind, and we're going to start over. We're going to build a relationship from the ground."Something like this? Something like this would be best.

If it's something like this, it'll be a blow to Kamiki. It'll be the same as Ryosuke, because he'll realize that he's the one who stabbed the hand that held out to love him and killed it, and he'll never be able to have that love again. It'll be revenge to realize that.

I can be wrong, but… But I still think there was something Ai would've wanted to convey to kamiki through that movie.

Ryosuke is a scumbag, and if Ai's meant what she said to them, I think it would be more of a statement towards all the fans who loved him than it was about him. Kamiki, if he really did instigate Ai's death, also needs to be punished for his respective crimes. Ai contributed to a part of his misery maybe, but… she's never actively harmed anyone. She may have hurt people's feelings, but she never did anything to deserve to die like this, and I don't think it should have happened, no matter what. It's a stalking and killing crime. I think Ai's life was very lonely, but I think she kept reaching out and trying within her limits. I hope all children grow up to be loved. The idea of love took over "Ai's" life, and I think she lived up to her name.

Beyond this are some more speculation, though it's likely to be more off than the stuff above.

For now, that's how I feel about this character.

I don't think Kamiki would have taken it that way, though. it was twisted, in more ways than one.

+ I think the Ai's feelings for Kamiki were… I think she's liked Kamiki quite a bit. Whether it was love is ambiguous. I don't think she would have been able to say for sure that she loved anyone at that point. This character hasn't been taught what love is, so her ideas of theoretical love, and the barriers to it are pretty high. Ai would've been confused going "Oh, is this what love is?" even if it's a level of emotion that most would consider to be love. What they had between them seems like something that could have been love, but never really came to a conclusion. In fact, the contradiction of Ai's character is that she wants to love, but blocks deep feelings for fear of being hurt. I think it would have been difficult for her to love him like she did for her own children, with whom she has an unconditional connection through blood…it would have been impossible for her at that time.

This is completely speculative, but I wonder if when she found out she was pregnant, she hid it, called it quits, and disappeared, because she felt like it would be a burden for him to know, and she thought she could handle it all on her own. She didn't ask for any help, and she didn't ask for anything when she agreed to keep the baby. Kamiki somehow found out and came to the birth and sees it from afar. Ryosuke runs away because he killed someone, but this character didn't do anything harmful to Ai that day. On the contrary, Kamiki may have been subconsciously been influenced by the person who exploited him. He may not have hated the children Ai had with him as much because he saw them as his connection to her. Perhaps after having seen her loving her children he had with her, raising them well, he had hopes that maybe she could get back together with him someday, and maybe she even cared about him a little bit. After he got that call from her, however, he realized that she needed the children but not him, and he despaired that there was no place for him in his life to begin with. Kamiki may not have any hard feelings toward his children. Rather, there might be some kind of inner affection he holds towards them proving as evidence that there was still a relationship between him and Ai; and that's why he sponsored the movie?

As for Ai, It would have been hard for Ai to truly love the children of a man she didn't even like, but there are no signs of that with her, either.. I don't think she broke up with him because she didn't like him. If you look at the phone scene, you get the impression that Ai broke up with him in a pretty casual way, there was a level of willingness to talk to him again and keep in touch and build a relationship from the beginning. This is a big deal coming from Ai because she has little to no friends and only a limited number of people with whom she's had a deep relationship. She's still wanted to form some kind of relationship with her ex-boyfriend, and here we can infer that Kamiki is a pretty important relationship for her. From her point of view, there was room for the future in that relationship. I think she was thinking about starting over with a more authentic relationship with her fans and with her ex-boyfriend. As she grew to love her children, she was subconsciously preparing herself to do so.

By the way, is it really true that Kamiki has been committing murders all this time? I think it could be a huge detriment to the manga's completeness and immersion to reveal the real culprit was someone entirely different at the very end, but we've never seen this character directly do anything, so I think it would be a good idea for the author to bring a twist the plot. It could be just that he feels responsible or guilty because he couldn't stop what's happened… He might actually be someone like Aqua who feels intense guilt for something he wasn't responsible for (I say this is like a 5% chance). Ryosuke is a stalker, so it's possible that he stalked Ai for four years and found out her address on his own. In the case of the actor, it's also possible that Kamiki's warned her to be careful beforehand, but she died anyway, so he's self-loathing saying it's all because of him. If you look closely, he seems to be blaming himself, so he keeps repeating the phrase "because of me." Did he actually kill her? This could be a narrative trick. You see how he's had a terrible past. Himekawa and Uehara may not have been the only ones that died around him, maybe he's cursed? Maybe there's a god that makes people with great talent in the arts unhappy… Anyone would have been suspicious if people around Kamiki kept dying in the first place, but Akane, who did the background check on Kamiki, didn't suspect anything like that, did she? It's never revealed in the story if he killed people, and if so, how many. People just come to infer "oh, he's a psychopathic killer" but just how much of it's right? We'll get to see that soon, I guess.

++Lying is also a keyword that's constantly stressed.

Like I said, I don't think it's very likely… Now that I think about it, the bouquet is a possible connection to Ryosuke. However, he may be less guilty than we thought. If it's true that he's killed other celebrities, the most intuitive reason I can think of is that he didn't want anyone to shine more than Ai's ever did. But what good does that do? What exactly does it mean to this character to feel the weight of his life? :/ Is it actually a positive thing for him, does he want to have a heavy life, does he want to do anything with it? This is something I can't say until the author explains it, because I don't have any information. There is also the matter of God in this story, but I don't know that'd get tied it into the the plot even though the manga is nearing the end. Ai and Kamiki are supposed to be characters who are connected to the gods, probably but I can't make any guesses. I was more confident about the psychological analyses than my plot predictions.

Isn't "15-year old lie two things? Ai lied to her fans that she loved them, and she lied to her boyfriend that she couldn't love him even though she had feelings for him. She told two lies about love, and now she's spilling the beans and saying, as she said before, that she wants to try to love again with her true heart.

The song "Idol" is what summarizes the whole storyline. If there is a lie that can be maintained for 15 years, I think it would be this.

In that case, assuming that the boyfriend loved the child, it would definitely be revenge from Aqua's point of view and give Ai what she's wanted… After all, Ai's narrative is a journey of a child trying to be true.

[thinkingfandoms]

An accurate list of the best movies I've ever seen

This list also includes reasons that are all too objective and nonsensical. Avoid asking too many questions. And share what you think in the comments!

Hercules

Hercules is probably my favourite Disney movie. And I also think that's where my interest in Greek mythology started. Hades is my favorite villain from this company and he's such a mood.

The Prince of Egypt

Oh dear you don't know how much I love this movie. I know every song by heart and was lucky enough to sing them with my choir. I'm a big fan of animation and despite how old is this movie, I think it remains one of the best ever produced. I cried more times over this movie than over all the others on this list combined.

Friends & Family

I only discovered this film this year but it quickly became one of my favorites. I have never laughed for so many consecutive minutes at a movie. I approached it because it's unusual to see a gay mob-themed movie, but I immediately fell in love with all the characters and the final scene remains one of the most comic I have ever seen.

Treasure Planet

I have a soft spot for animated films about great adventures and self-discovery. Jim has been my only animated crush for years, and his story has always resonated with something inside of me (maybe the desire for adventure and his recklessness, idk). Plus, of course, "'I'm Still Here" is one of the most beautiful soundtracks ever created.

Howl's Moving Castle

One of the first films I saw by Studio Ghibli and my absolute favourite. The love stories created by this Studio are always wonderful, and this one is no different. Plus I always saw myself in Sophie (especially about the crush on Howl) and, well, there's Calcifer, what more do you want?

Les Choristes

Another thing I love: movies about music. It may be that I've been playing an instrument for years and singing in choirs, but I've always cried watching kids rediscover a new side of themselves through music and songs. And these songs are composition's masterpieces. I still remember them all by heart even though French isn't my native language.

A Christmas Carol

I'm slightly obsessed with this story, with Charles Dickens and with Christmas. I was born on Christmas Eve so you can imagine how close this theme is to my heart. I have seen several versions of this story though, and for some reason, this one remains my favourite. It may be that it's different from other more colourful versions and really shows the darkness behind the original story, idk.

How to Train Your Dragon

I literally grew up with this saga: I was 8 years old at the first film, 12 at the second and 17 at the third. I watched Hiccup grow up with me as a friend and Toothless as a fellow adventurer. I'll forever be grateful to Dreamworks for creating the best-animated saga that cinema has ever seen.

The Three Musketeers

This movie is so random that it's perfect. I watched it again recently (after like 8 years) and realized that maybe my daddy issues come from this movie: Luke Evans, Orlando Bloom and the freaking Mads Mikkelsen together, seriously? I'm not surprised it was one of my favourite movies growing up.

A Monster in Paris

The love I have for this film is enormous. I could never get over the beauty of the songs in it. The characters are so well written and Francœur will always be in my top animated characters. It's too amazing to be real.

Rise of the Guardians

I could talk for hours about this film and have not even touched the tip of the iceberg. I have an insane obsession with all the characters, starting with and especially Jack, my top animated crush for years. It's all so perfect that I don't see how people never nominate it when it comes to top animated movies.

The Hobbit

Again, I have serious problems with films about fantasy adventures. I have always preferred The Hobbit saga to its sequel because the story has always fascinated me more. And the main character especially: for me Bilbo >>>> Frodo. And then there's Thorin and Luke Evans. You know, daddy issues.

Mune: Guardian of the Moon

Another French animated movie, another obsession, another adventure, another animated character in my top. This is an example of how to do good animation. There isn't a colour out of place. The settings are authentic, the characters are original, and the adventure they make gets me every time.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

I'm maybe a Muggle, but I prefer Fantastic Beasts to the Harry Potter saga. That's not to say it's better, mind you, but it reflects me more. We all know how we Hufflepuffs (and Ravenclaws) have no real representation in the HP movies, so to be able to have at least one prequel saga starring a Hufflepuff (in which I also find myself far too much) as the protagonist is wonderful. And I have an unhealthy urge to become a magizoologist.

The Greatest Showman

It's the movie I have watched the most of these. I know every song by heart and every line too. It always manages to be a roller coaster of emotions. And it has Hugh Jackman in it.

The Boy Foretold By The Stars

I'm a big supporter of the Philippine's film company. This is one movie is gentle, funny, and not based on the usual drama between Christianity and LGBT+ people (which is what I thought when reading the plot at first). Moreover, another underrated thing, the Philippines' music company here has thrown in masterpiece after masterpiece of songs, perfect for this movie.

Bros

This is my top comfort film in the last year. It's like watching a Hallmark movie but hotter, much more sincere and gay. Very gay. And the relationship between the two main characters is so cute and sweet. And funny.

Top Gun: Maverick

I love this saga but especially love this particular chapter. I love Maverick and his relationship with Rooster, and all the other characters are so well-written. And don't get me started on the story... I LOVE it. There isn't much else to say except that Cruise is a great actor (and a terrible person).

Glass Onion - Knives Out

I love my silly little gay detective. And I have a little passion for movies and mystery series. I found this saga's chapter more compelling than the first one, and the characters gripped me more. Also I fell in love with the setting. Oh and then there are Daniel Craig and Hugh Grant.

[pearl-blue-musings]

Hi Elle! For your selfship asks:

Who wakes up first?

Where did y'all meet & how?

Who fell first and who fell harder?

What's y'all's love languages?

😘

!!!!!!! Thank you thank you!!! I’m gonna indulge in Alhaitham 🥰

So I typically wake up first cause I’m used to being alone but with him? He wakes up before me, wanting to make sure I don’t have to be so independent what a sweetie

We met when we were younger but had a bit of an estranged relationship after his grandmother died. He used to be rather indifferent to me as a kid but he always had a pull toward me he couldn’t deny, and I was the same; even platonically! The romantic feelings came later as we studied more and he was the grand scribe. As a musician and wanting to study music, he hated that I would try so hard to change the sages minds because he knew they wouldn’t budge. I started to hate him, thinking he must’ve had some sort of vendetta against me for always telling me my research was denied. And we kept running into each other to the point I became a fixture in his home, sometimes forcing Kaveh to leave so we could be alone to “have a scholarly debate”

I personally believe Alhaitham fell first but didn’t realize what his feelings were for a long time. Because let’s be real, when we first met each other we were wary of each other so it was like him? Never. But with that, came the inevitable of me falling harder. Seeing his passion for his friends and doing the right thing for the Akademiya really changed things. I had wanted to go with him but he b basically forced me not to (and we weren’t even dating then!) He denies it up and down if you ask him, saying it was all me, but when we get back and are in bed cuddling he can’t wait to tell me how long I’ve been in his heart and how long it took him to realize his feelings.

Oh goodness we’re both neurodivergent so for him he for sure enjoys info dumping and body doubling, both giving and receiving. I think I found this out when he asked me to review his most recent research critique with him and he read it to me as I was making dinner. Staying a good distance but is happy I’m listening while I’m doing something else. For me, I like physical touch and giving physical touch and he is receptive of that. It’s not something he does a lot, but for me he’ll do little touches here and there to help calm my anxiety and lemme know that he’s there

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 ask me more things about my selfships pleeeaaaassseeee y’all I’m begging

[psychic-refugee]

Wenvier Fics Recs

@psychic-refugee

WIP

We Glady Feast - Twins Wednesday and Freya have a touch of Destiny, and it leads them to Nevermore Academy.

One-Shots

Agony in Blue - Wednesday had a legitimate reason for her special grey and black uniform.

Echo of Destiny - As Persephone, now called Larissa, followed Hades to the Underworld, Xavier did not hesitate to follow Wednesday.

Escaping the Limelight - All Xavier wanted to do was run away from the circus that was his father’s psychic stage act and join the real world.

Gorgon Pearls - Medusa was not the monster the Normie myth said she was. She was the Patron Goddess of Survivors. Set in WGF Universe

@heyharoldsboo

WIP

All my soul within me burning - Xavier has been dreaming of Wednesday for weeks before she arrives at Nevermore. With a very different first interaction inside the walls of Nevermore, how will things change?

One Shots

blackbird - Wednesday tails Xavier for weeks, and finds no evidence that he is the monster. She does figure other things out, including a plot to frame him.

@musicandi

WIP

Dream a little dream of me - A sleeping curse has befallen onto Nevermore and Xavier has become its most recent victim.

One Shot

Flowers and Spiders and Scares... Oh my - Wednesday Addams does not "date." Call her old fashion, but the idea of a courtship has always sounded much more appropriate. It might not meet normal standards for someone like Enid. Who likes obvious displays of affections and declarations of love.

Once upon a dream - When Wednesday stormed into Xavier's room, she expected to find her partner deep in his drawing, or lost in his homework assignment, or even dead which might be the better option for him after leaving her waiting for him in the quad for 30 minutes.

@novemberwasgrey

Completed

(EN) Jealousy, jealousy - When a normie girl starts showing interest in Xavier, it's Wednesday's turn to get jealous...

What a woeful gift - It’s Xavier’s birthday. Wednesday has the impulse to find him a gift. Because he’s her friend. Nothing else.

WIP - Collab with Pr3ttyface/@foolinlove99

Our own kind of love - Xavier gets an unexpected offer from his new lover. how can he refuse?

One Shot

Woe-mour has it - Wednesday was no fool. She knew her boyfriend was attractive. But it might have its inconvenients, especially when she learns Xavier's reputation with girls.

Back to Nevermore - Wednesday had never worried about any of her back-to-school days. But this one was different: this time, it was her daughter’s first day at Nevermore.

The Little Raven - Wednesday just gave birth to her daughter, Ravenna.

Careful, Wednesday! You got some competition! - Wednesday and Xavier have been dating for three months when she hears Xavier talking to another girl on the phone. She’s determined to get to the bottom of this story.

Like Mother Like Daughter - Wednesday realizes her mother was right.

@heavenlyvixen

One Shot

Watching You - Being a ghost that haunted the halls of Nevermore academy meant that Mary Ellen Turnbull saw a lot of strange and wonderful things.

Overload - Mary Ellen Turnbull had learned Wednesday’s moods, tells and eccentricities in the time that she’d been guarding her and her young beau but since she’d joined her in the morning, following her around the campus, she’d noticed that Wednesday seemed to be becoming more and more uncomfortable as the day went on.

Sojourn - It's Parent's Weekend at Nevermore. Mary Ellen Turnbull keeps watch over her charges as the Addams Family arrives in Jericho.

@mermaid886

Completed

Strawberries and Silk - Ten years after graduation, Xavier leads a quiet life with the woman he loves. As the couple prepares to embark on a new journey together, Wednesday is reminded that she doesn’t travel well. Luckily, Xavier speaks her love language.

One Shot

Daddy Did A Fine Job - As Xavier spends the morning tending his little family, Wednesday’s cold heart melts as she watches him care for their babies.

WIP

Give Me Woe - Five years after graduation, Wednesday Addams and Xavier Thorpe return to Nevermore Academy. Xavier finds his ultimate reward and a bit more as Wednesday goes on a journey of self-discovery in his arms. The consequences from that weekend bring them together in a way Wednesday never thought possible.

[joonslfttiddie]

Home

Chapter 44: Nice to Meet You...

💜Fic Pairing: OT7 x OFC

💜AU/Genre: Reverse Harem/Polyfidelity/Ghosts/AMBW

💜Warnings: Smut/Adult Language/Adult Content

💜Rating: MA

💜Word Count: 3,862

Tia’s POV

At this point, I’m nearly salivating, worse than Pavlov and all them fucking dogs. Like yeeeeeeees! Talk to me rough, but handle me gently, Mr. Min!

“Well?” Yoongi pulls me from my thoughts, laughing at my reaction.

“Huh?”

“I asked, what would I do in your bed? You have like 15 boyfriends already. I’m sure they keep you busy,” he teases.

I scoff but can’t help laughing at his smart-ass mouth. “I have four, for your information, possibly six. I honestly don’t know yet.”

“Oh, excuse me!”

Seeing that bright, gummy smile on his face makes me so happy, and I pray that I will be able to see it forever, with me only adding to his joy. We continue to giggle and jab at each other for a moment longer before I take the conversation on a more serious route.

“But for real, there is something about us, about me, that you don’t know.”

“What? Are you a witch or something? Have I been bewitched by you?” I know he’s joking but he doesn’t realize just how spot-on he is.

“Umm, I wouldn’t call myself a witch but I am definitely…different. So, whenever I met each of my boyfriends, my body knew that we belonged together before I did. It’s as if my intuition nudges at me, signaling that the men I’m fated to love are near. I’m not trying to scare you away, but I already know that you know what feeling I’m talking about.”

He stares at me blankly, only giving himself away by his mouth falling open in shock.

“Yo, what the fuck? Yes, I felt this love-drunk-like excitement as soon as we pulled into your driveway. It damn near knocked me over when Namjoon opened the door. It was so overwhelming. And you,” he pauses as if trying to collect himself. “Fuck, Tia, I thought I was going crazy. As soon as I laid eyes on your face, I knew that I wanted to love you, nah…I needed to love you; I needed to be loved by you. And when you touched me…oh my fucking God. It’s like the world stopped and it was only me and you in that moment. You, the guys…you feel like love personified. Like home.”

“Wow, you described our love so beautifully. That’s how the others have explained their experiences as well. They also say that the feelings remain genuine and strong, but they aren’t as overwhelming the more time we spend together.”

“So what does all of this mean? What does it mean for me? Like, am I also a chosen one?” He chuckles but I know he’s dead serious, only using his humor to lighten the mood.

“I would say so, seeing as we all can feel the tug; can feel you. This means that we are likely fated to love one another, and if you decide to accept our feelings for you, then we live so we love. Please, don’t think that there is any pressure, but we would love for you to become a member of our little family.��

I continue, letting him know about how things have progressed with the other guys, reassuring him that we will have our own special connection and relationship. As he’s still working, I even tell him that the others have done some sexual things when we’re together but not alone. Basically, just filling him in on how things have been thus far.

“We are just dedicated to being honest with each other and always lead with love. We have thrown societal standards out the window to follow our hearts, which are pulling us all here, with this house sort of acting as a hub.”

I go on to share my experiences thus far with the gifts I’ve recently gained, explaining how it runs in my bloodline and things that I’m doing to harness them better.

“So, you saw that you would meet Hoseok, and it played out exactly as you saw it. Does that mean you saw me, too?”

“No, actually, my last meditation session was shorter than I would have liked but I’m sure had I stayed tapped in, I would have.” We stay silent for nearly half an hour with him mulling over what I have shared and me not wanting to sell him this fantasy, wanting him to choose this for himself just as the others have. I just watch him work, moving around the floor on his knees until he speaks up.

“Tia, this all seems too good to be true, you know? I’m apprehensive only because I want this with you…with the guys. I’ve wanted this type of happiness for so long, but I’m afraid that I’ll let my guard down and give you my all, only for the happiness to be snatched away from me.”

My intuition tells me that he’s fighting with his inner thoughts and demons.

“Say more. Talk to me,” I reassure him by placing my hand on his back, using my fingertips to rub small circles along his muscles through the thin fabric of his shirt. 

And lo and behold, he opens up, telling me all of the things I already suspected. I let him speak and get all of that negativity out before I move to kneel in front of him, and he pauses, arranging himself to sit back on his heels, focusing on me. I take his face into my hands, just like mom used to do my sister and me, and I gaze past his eyes. This is my first attempt at trying to land in a place most people can’t see. It’s like looking at layers of an onion, and I explore each level until I’m in the right area. Here, I can see him with a lotus flower blooming in his chest, where his heart would be. This signifies that by finally speaking out about his past, his heart is now clearer, softer, and more open. 

“Wow,” I can’t help but murmur, experiencing this new ability.

I appreciate his honesty as I’m the first person he’s opened up to like this. I can also see so many happy days in his near future and so on, the feeling is so strong. I make a conscious effort not to go too far into this void, not wanting to see the details of his life. I would rather live and witness those moments alongside him. I try to stay on this frequency, only detecting his mood and how his heart will feel.

Wait… is that-?

I can’t help but chuckle now after knowing how much joy he’s about to experience.

“Oh, baby. I can tell that today will be your last day of uncertainty, and there is so much love and happiness waiting for you. All of the love you deserve and the individuals who are worthy of the love you’re ready to provide are right at your fingertips,” I reassure him, unaware of my own tears until he wipes one away. He sets the nailer onto the floor and now takes my face in his hands, leans in, and kisses me so tenderly yet passionately. His tongue technology extracts more of my essence, which leaks to settle in the crotch of my panties; I can only imagine what else it can do. My desire for him is burning a hole through every fiber of my being. I pull him closer, moaning into his mouth. I need him so badly, and when he moves his hands to rest on my hips, he’s clenching my dress in his fists, letting me know he feels the same way.

Completely inebriated off of each other, we are not concerned about the possibility of someone walking in on us. He pulls me with him as he takes a seat on the floor. I follow, moving to straddle his lap, but he shifts me to mount just one thigh. While I am confused, I stay there, kissing him deeply. I can feel his penis rock hard against my leg. I can imagine how good he will feel deep inside my walls and the heat that has gathered in the pit of my stomach begins to ignite. He grazes the roof of my mouth with the tip of his tongue, again, and again, and again, causing me to moan even more. My arms are wrapped around his neck and my grip on his body strengthens as I’m beginning to lose every ounce of self-control. I’m at the point where I’m willing to do almost anything to be able to cum. 

“Are you still horny, love?” Yoongi speaks into my mouth between kisses. “From what I saw earlier, you’ve cum several times today.” 

“More,” I answer hungrily.

Without a word, his hands on my hips guide me to rub my thinly covered pussy on his leg, and I do so without hesitation. He continues the motion with one hand while the other reaches up to fondle my breast through my clothing. Yoongi moves to suck vigorously at my neck, then licks a stripe up my throat, sending shocks to my core over and over again. Moaning and holding on for dear life, I continue to grind against him. I’m almost there.

“Okay, love, it’s time to cum for me. Are you ready?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Please,” I answer as the friction against my clit is about to push me over the edge.

He holds my body securely against him, providing a feeling of safety with his face buried in the crook of my neck, and then begins to do something I’ve never experienced before.

“I’m going to count you down,” he says before continuing to kiss and lick my skin. “I’ll start at 10,” he smooches, “and when I get to 1, you get to cum,” he informs me. “But not a second before that,” he says against my neck, then resumes hungrily sucking and tasting me. “Understand?”

“Yes. Yes.”

He smacks a firm hand against my ass and I whimper. My pussy clenches around nothing as he now caresses my booty cheek, soothing the spot he has just slapped.

“Whenever we’re together like this, you will respect me. Maybe I’m starting out too easy on you.”

“No, no! I’m sorry. Please,” I’m begging at this point as the finish line is approaching and he has yet to start counting, the sting on my ass only exacerbating my current state.

“Do you understand, Tia?” He hisses through clenched teeth.

“Yes, sir, Mr. Min. I understand,” I moan out.

“Very good, love. So you can listen.”

He, then, begins slowly counting backward, interrupting the sequence only to sing my praises. His breath tickles and cools the places already painted with his saliva as I’m riding him faster and faster, chasing my high.

“10...Good girl. 9…Ride my thigh, just like that. 8…You’re doing such a good job. 7…You’re almost there. Hold it for me. 6…You’re doing so good, love. 5…You sound so fucking pretty. Louder. 4…Not yet. Not just yet. 3…You’re listening so well. Almost there, baby. 2…You’re so fucking wet. You hear that? That pretty pussy sounds so juicy. 1…Give it to me. Cum, baby.”

“Holy shi-,” I attempt, being interrupted by a guttural moan that is released before I even realize it.

I would have never thought that I could cum so hard from a man’s thigh, yet here I am, now collapsed on his shoulder, trembling and shaking on Yoongi’s lap. He’s rubbing his hand up and down my back as I’m coming down.

“You did so good, love…so good. I’ve got you,” he says, pulling me to sit up so that he can kiss my lips slowly and softly. His tongue grazes against mine. Releasing my lips with a smooch, he allows me to lie back down on his shoulder. “Was that too much? Did I hurt you?”

“No, I loved it,” I answer. “That was amazing and I must admit, I have never done that before.”

“Well, I’m glad we are able to share something that’s new for the both of us. This can be our thing from now on. That is if you will allow there to be another time.”

“What?” I perk up, sitting upright now and can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. “Are you saying-?”

“Yes, the feeling is undeniable and after coming here, I don’t think I can live another day without you in my life.”

Yoongi comes off timid and quiet at first, but that demon I’ve only gotten a glimpse of will be hell, and I can’t wait to see him at his worst.

“So, does this make you my girlfriend now?”

“If that’s what you want me to be, then yes.”

“How the fuck am I going to explain that I fell in love with a client and she became my girlfriend in the same day? There’s no way anyone will believe this.”

“Explain it to who? You and I both know that your parents will be ecstatic just to see you happy. Outside of them, who cares what other people think? If anyone asks, just tell them you don’t want to discuss your private life; no need to put a label on things to make others comfortable.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Wait…how do you know that my parents will be happy?” I can see when he mentally answers his own question. “You saw it, didn’t you? In my eyes?” His eyes are full of wonder, hoping for another fact about his future. “What all did you see?”

Hoseok’s POV

I am filled with pride as I explain to my parents that I’ve met someone, which is the reason I came home in the wee hours of the morning. While we’re on the topic, I let them know that they shouldn’t wait up for me tonight, either. Still gushing over Tia, I refrain from going into much detail about the guys at the moment. It is not because I’m ashamed of the situation, possibly entering into a poly relationship, but rather because I want to make sure this is really real. It is for me as I’m ready to jump in head first, throwing caution to the wind.

I opt to leave Mickey home today in hopes of really getting to know everyone without the responsibility of caring for him…or burdening Taehyung with it. Since the house is only a few doors down, I throw on a thin shirt, jacket and hat before leaving and walk over. As I’m getting closer, I notice workers out front cutting and sanding boards.

Are they here to build the bed Namjoon had mentioned?

When I ring the bell, Namjoon answers and hugs me once I’m inside, the embrace and the amazing sweetness that fills the air cause my heart to race. 

“There’s no need to ring. Just come in next time. The code is 0613,” he says.

“Will do, thanks. Is someone baking cookies?” I ask him, not trying to be humorous, but the statement causes him to laugh out loud, nonetheless.

He calls out for Tia, who comes beaming and bouncing happily down the stairs. Her dress is made of a light fabric that dances and sways as she moves. In combination with her cute little bare feet thumping against the hardwood, she looks so beautiful,  adorable, and carefree.

“Hobi!!!”

My name jumps from her lips with a shriek of excitement, which is extremely contagious, causing me to smile even bigger. She crashes into me, causing me to jolt slightly, and then she molds against my chest as if God created her to fit perfectly against me. She then wraps her arms around my torso and I hug her back. When she looks up at me, I squish her cheeks between both palms, which causes her lips to pucker like a fish and I take the chance to place the gentlest smooch against them. Standing on her tiptoes, she returns my affection, sweetly peppering my face with kisses…at least the parts she can reach.

I hug her again, holding her against my body before joking, “What kind of welcome is this? I thought you would be excited to see me.”

The three of us laugh at my sarcasm before Namjoon, as if out of habit, grabs her ass from behind her, then trails his fingertips along her side to hold her hip. Like the most powerful laser, his stare burns into me, making me hot in more ways than one. He kisses the top of her head and then disappears into the library.

“I am very excited to see you! I missed you so much,” Tia says, still obviously excited. “Was that you that rang the bell? Please, feel free to just come in next time,” she reiterates what Namjoon said and repeats the code.

We’ve detached from each other, but only briefly, as I remove my coat and fuzzy hat.

“I will do that, baby girl, thank you. I missed you, too. You and the guys have been on my mind since I woke up,” I confess. “Where is everyone else?”

“They are all around here somewhere,” she lets me know.

After a short pause I ask, “So, are those guys outside here to make your bed?”

“Yes! I’m so excited. Come with me, I want you to meet someone,” Tia says, then drags me behind her up the stairs, and once we’re at the top, that familiar feeling comes over me even stronger than when Namjoon hugged me. “Yoongi! This is Hobi, who I mentioned to you earlier.”

The man puts down his tool and stands to greet me, clapping his hands together to remove any debris before reaching out for mine. I can’t help but notice a wet spot on his pants, but I don’t call attention to it. How can a man look so small yet so fucking sexy at the same time? I can feel the love I have for the other guys, but there’s something different with him.

“Hobi, what’s up? Nice to meet you,” his deep voice travels into my ears and straight to my dick. We shake hands and when he touches me, I feel like I could melt into the palm of his hand. I can only assume he feels the same, judging by how his eyes go wide and the gasp that escapes his throat.

Fuck.

“Yoongi,” I say, savoring the taste of his name on my tongue. “Nice to meet you, too,” I say, then look questioningly at Tia who nods as if confirming what my eyes are asking. I let go of his slightly callused hand to place my own over my heart in an attempt to stop it from leaping out of my chest. I’ve been here less than 30 minutes and have decided to tell my parents about them all; meeting Yoongi has sealed the deal for me. He looks like he wants to either run out of the room or jump out of the nearest window, that is, until Tia gently takes his hand into hers. His ‘deer in headlights’ expression vanishes within the blink of an eye. Then, she reaches over and scratches her nails into the nape of my hair, then grazes her thumb against my cheek…just like that, I’m just as calm and cool as ever, better able to manage these big feelings.

We all startle at the sound of a shutter, looking over at the door to find a smiling Taehyung looking down at the display of his digital camera. Once he’s done examining the photo with a gleam of adoration in his eyes, he rushes over to us.

“Hoseok, you’re here! I missed you…not as much as Tia, but still,” he picks at Tia, then wraps me up into a bro hug.

“Anyways! Did you get some good shots?” Tia asks Taehyung as she’s reaching over to grab his wrist, pulling the camera closer to her.

They continue to talk about his pictures and Yoongi goes back to work, nailing and gluing boards together.

“You’ve gotten a lot done already. It’s coming together nicely,” I compliment him, moving closer to admire his work.

“Thanks. Yeah, I’m over halfway done now,” he says looking down at his watch. “We should be done within a couple more hours since we’ve been at it since early this morning. It’ll be fine to sleep in tonight.”

“Wow…it looks really good. You’re so talented and good with your hands, I see.”

Still working, he doesn’t even turn around but I can tell he’s amused as his shoulders are visibly bouncing in laughter.

“Hobi, are you over here being a little slut? I thought that was my role,” Tia teases me, now standing right behind me. 

I quickly turn on my heels and scoop her up to straddle my body, holding her with hands full of her ass. She squeals and holds onto my shoulders as I spin her around the room.

“Am I being a slut?”

“Yes,” she says between laughing and screaming.

I stop spinning and lessen my hold on her butt, allowing her to slide down my body. I follow her down, leaning slightly to kiss her forehead.

“Maybe,” I admit, to which we all burst into laughter.

I’m not sure how much time has passed, but since I got here, one by one, the guys finish with their individual tasks. Everyone is chattering with each other in the kitchen while helping Tia prepare dinner for all of us. Being that she’s not used to feeding so many hungry grown men, we decide to cook several meals that we can all share.

“Okay, we’ll need to go grocery shopping tomorrow. We have enough for breakfast in the morning but that’ll be the last of it,” she announces to no one specifically.

I’m still finding my place within the group but I love the way Namjoon, Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung seem to float around Tia effortlessly; it almost looks choreographed. They take turns hugging her from behind while she stirs this and that, kissing her neck, cheek, hair…anything they can reach, really. She dips her spoon in different pots, letting the men taste what she’s preparing.

“Where’s Hobi?” Tia asks, looking around the kitchen until her eyes land on mine. “Hobi, come here. Would you like to taste it?”

She asks me that as if she can read my mind, and I’m grateful for her acknowledging me. I accept and make my way over to her, wrapping my arm around her waist as she feeds me.

“How is it?” Her curious expression is so cute, waiting in anticipation for my answer.

“Mmm…it’s good!”

One would think I just offered her a million dollars the way she beams, happy that I’m satisfied. When I move to go back to my seat at the island, she applies pressure to my hand, asking me to stay without saying a word, and so I do. Before I even realize it, I’ve been added to the dance, moving around the other guys and helping Tia with whatever she needs, just like I’ve always been here, perfectly in sync.

[interv4ls]

Miracle Aligner l Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

Summary: When everything is stressing, Eddie might be the miracle aligner that (Y/N) needs to get away from life.

pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader / Fluff (platonic, i can fix that in another one if you’d like, hehe)

warnings: mentions of smoking (the illegal stash) and slight language. Use of (Y/N) and a made-up character as her friend. 

word count: 2,556

A/N: Hello, everyone! It’s been a while since I last posted around here! I came back with an old piece, this time with Eddie, my love! I don’t encourage smoking, it’s not good for you, don’t do it! But for the sake of the plot, I made the mention and story all around it - not glamourizing at all!  I really hope you guys like it. Remembering that English is not my first language, I did some beta reading but  if there any mistakes, please, forgive me. I hope you guys enjoy this one, constructive critics are welcome :)

There were three things (Y/N) could never trust in her life: the weather, Hawkings and her memory. She no longer trusted the flashbacks that once in a while replayed behind her empty eyes during math classes, especially the ones about her childhood. Hawkings being the little egg that it is as a city, (Y/N) could always check her memories with the other people that were there with her, but nobody remembered – the thing wasn’t like they didn’t remember as detailed as she did – they didn’t remember at all. Sometime in her life, she started to think she was crazy and made up all those things, but they were so vivid and so real to her that it wasn’t possible to be all imagination.

And when you live in Hawkings, it’s not like a considerate number of good memories could be made – especially if you were a forgettable person in High School. (Y/N) had friends but they were much like her, not as popular, they would never be the ones to sip beer late Friday, go to a gas station to do nothing or throw massive parties while someone’s parents were traveling. (Y/N) saw herself kind of revolting about her same boring chores everyday – until she went once to California with her cousin and tried weed for first time. It was not as demonic as her father made up to be all her life, actually, it was the perfect escape from her boring small city life.

When she returned to Hawkings, she swore not to smoke again just because it would take so much work – finding a dealer, sneaking out to smoke or even smoke inside the house and fake the smell – but one day, she missed the relaxing sensation of just inhaling the smoke and laying down. She was in the middle of lunch, not even touching her food, heavy eyes from nights of insomnia and all the noise from other people’s conversation – her friend, Veronica, was right in front of (Y/N) – looking rather curious about her friend’s recent behavior.

“Penny for your thoughts?” The girl said out loud and (Y/N) seemed to snap back to reality. She sighed and tried to find the words.

“Do you know who…” (Y/N) started but realized she was talking loudly. “Well, how am I supposed to say this?” She and Veronica never talked about those things, (Y/N) was beginning to think she would be judged.

“Just shoot, you’ve been freaking me out the entire lunch with this face of yours.” (Y/N) looked at Veronica even more seriously. “Sorry, girl. But you look like you’ve been drained the whole week.”

“Well, the feeling is just as close, believe me.” (Y/N) snorted. “Do you know someone who sells weed?” Veronica opened her mouth but (Y/N) stopped her. “Don’t lecture me about anything, I’m not being unhealthy or anything. It’s just, the school just started and my mom’s being a crazy wench these days. I miss the days in California and the ‘no worries’ mood.”

Veronica always felt she never really met (Y/N)’s mother. Like, she met the person she wanted her to see, but not the woman (Y/N) had as a mother – and the last years, (Y/N) have been complaining a lot about pressure at home. Ever since she decided to go to a college out of the state, her parents had been resisting a lot to everything related to it and God knows how this can be frustrating in their last year of High School.

“Well, I suppose it’s not like you’re asking for cocaine or heroin.” Veronica shrugged and looked around just to ensure nobody was listening – like someone ever was. “Look, I heard a time or another that Eddie Munson knows something about it. A guy from the Drama Club made the deal to share the room with Eddie for his game club in exchange for something that, and I quote, makes him incarnate Shakespeare.”

“Well, I would love Shakespeare to live this living hell for me.” (Y/N) said and Veronica laughed. “It’s been a while since I last talked with Edward. Wouldn’t it be weird to show up just to ask a thing like that?”

“Well, you are the only person I know he accepts calling him Edward. And, if he is the one messing with this kind of stuff, you’re just one more costumer. Not big deal, right?”

Veronica’s logic was right. But (Y/N)’s last memory with Eddie was in middle school and they argued about something. Was it about her preferring Dio over Ozzy in the vocals of Black Sabbath? Or they were just differing in phases of life? Again, she couldn’t – for the life of her – remember why. In the end, she just hoped that whatever it was about, it wouldn’t get in the way of her deal.

“You don’t have drama club today, right?” (Y/N) pointed with her fork to Veronica.

“Nop. That’s his today.” (Y/N) nodded her head slowly, tracing all the possible plans for her to reach Eddie.

(Y/N) spent the rest of the day in the library – not only waiting for the Hellfire Club meeting to end but also, to escape her mother’s babbling or whatever. It was a good, silent and distracting place – she read, took a little nap and helped the librarian returning the books to their right shelves – that was actually the script of her day for several weeks - which only made her think even more about how she needed an urgent “chill” feeling. She played with the sleeve of her coat while waiting at the corridor, until she heard the screams, giggles and “good-bye’s” from boys getting out of the room. None of them were Eddie, for (Y/N)’s luck. She took a deep breath and exhaled the oxygen.

“It’s just Eddie. Get yourself together, damn it.” (Y/N) told herself before entering the room. She didn’t know if it was the foggy memories of their friendship or what she was about to ask the boy that was making her so nervous. All the time in California, she was never the one who spoke to dealers – hell, she just received the joint between her fingers and smoked. She went in and Eddie was with his back to the door, gathering chairs to their right place.

“I am already leaving, Matthew. I’m just…” He turned to her. “Oh, (Y/N). Didn’t expect to be you.” He seemed astonished. “Like, at all.”

“Yeah, I gather that. It’s been a while.” She closed the door behind her and took little steps closer to him. Although they grew apart, Eddie could never forget those eyes of hers. He even questioned if in the future, they would be his cure to an amnesia or something like that, he knew that as long as he remembered those eyes, he would be okay. “Look, I will cut the small talk. I need something from you and if you’re not the right person, I expect no judgement.”

“You really think, from all the people in this place, I would be the one judging you?” He crossed his arms. (Y/N) pouted and realized he was right, she could never expect that kind of thing from him. “Tell me, then.”

“Well, someone told me that you…May sell weed.” She was afraid she spoke so low that he didn’t hear and the look on his face reassured her of that. “Someone told…”

“I heard, princess. I’m trying to make the synapses to understand why you’re asking me this.” He looked puzzled. “Someone asked you to get that? I don’t make bridge dealing, that can be dangerous, you know? Cops and shit.”

“It’s not for someone, it’s for me.” (Y/N) licked her lips. “Look, I’m just having a shitty week, well, shitty month actually. And I just need a little relief.”

“I can’t believe it! You’re a smoker? A weed smoker!” He had a little grin on his face and (Y/N) arched her eyebrows. “Since when? Who gave it to you?”

“My cousin…During my summer vacation.” She was kind of bothered with all the surprise. She wasn’t so uptight, right? Like, she wasn’t a stoner like the kids she met in California but she clearly wasn’t a prude. “So, do you have it? How much is it?”

“I’m not selling to you.” He shook his head side to side and (Y/N) stood there with her mouth opened.

“What do you mean not selling to me? What’s that supposed to mean?” Eddie could see that she was starting to get mad and God! How he missed her frowning and nose scrunching, the red face and incredible big eyes.

“You’re a talker. One pressure from your mother and you’re telling whoever wants to hear that I deal with this kind of stuff.” She seemed shocked with the assumption. Eddie took a few steps closer to her, until her eyes were in the height of his nose. “I think you don’t even know how to roll.”

“I forgot how infuriating you are, Edward.” (Y/N) commented. “C’mon, you’re really denying money?”

“Let’s do this. You smoke one joint with me, you get high and I don’t get snitched. Sounds like a deal?” He offered his hand to shake. “It’s all or nothing, darling.”

“What guarantees you that I won’t snitch you got me high? Like, what’s different from the scenario of selling me the weed?”

“You won’t have weed laying around your room for your crazy mother to find. One smoke with me, I got some snacks and perfume in the van and you return home like nothing happened. Your mom might even be pleased with you returning home smelling like boy’s cologne!” He joked and (Y/N) rolled her eyes.

“Well, it really seems like I don’t have other choice. Is this or completely freaking out.” She shook hands with him. “I’ll help you clean up here, then.”

“It’s a pleasure making a deal with you, (Y/N).”

After finishing the clean-up, Eddie stopped by his van to “get the holy grail” as he said and suggested to (Y/N) for them to smoke in the woods, considering the sun would set and it was an open-air place. The girl just agreed to anything he suggested, at this point, she couldn’t make any preferences – his denying in selling the thing to her was still scratching her brain. Was she really that much of a snitch? What made Eddie think that low of her? Maybe some years apart from each other could really change someone’s perspective about the other.

“There you go. I’ll let you light it up first.” He delivered the rolled joint to her along with the lighter. A white one.

“Thanks.” She put the thing between her lips and lit it up. Eddie was expecting the girl to cough and inhale wrong but she really seemed to have had some good training while in California. She exhaled the little amount of smoke and a little smile appeared on her lips. “Can I ask you something?”

“Full of questions today, huh?” He supported his two elbows on his knees while she was sitting with her back against the wooden table. They were both facing west, waiting for the sun to go low. (Y/N) gave him an annoyed side eye. “Sure, (Y/N). What is it?”

“Why did we stop hanging out? Like, I have a terrible memory and I’ve been questioning myself this the whole day.” She passed him the joint and took a clear look at him. His long hair and raglan Hellfire Club shirt, (Y/N) couldn’t help but think he grew up to be a good looking boy. She didn’t remember if she had any attraction to Eddie when they were little but right now, she would understand if she did.

“You have a bad memory and you’re smoking weed. It won’t get any better, if I’m really honest with you.” Eddie knocked the joint against the wood for the ashes to fall. “You were the only person I told when I thought about making Hellfire and in the next day, everyone was calling me a freak and all the satanic shit.”

“What? I never told anyone about that!” She looked incredulous. (Y/N) tried to replay the occurring and she remembered making the pinky promise in the video room, in the middle of a history class. A promise to wait for Eddie’s plan, the one where she would be the first in the campaign of his new club. (Y/N) didn’t even understand a thing about D&D but she would support Eddie in whatever he suggested at the time, she really didn’t tell a soul about it.

“Well, who did it then? You were the only one!” Eddie looked at her in a mocking way and saw the girl making the mental puzzle.

“We did the promise in the middle of a class, do you really think nobody heard us? This is Hawkings, for fuck’s sake! This place is a nightmare.” She fixated her look on some tree in the distance. “Is that also the reason you think I’m a snitch?”

“Can you blame me for that? A second ago, I gave you the first credit for making my school life a mess!” Eddie passed her the joint. “I guess someone could have heard us. You made the pinky promise after all.”

“I exchanged the spit one for the pinky promise! I am very offended right now, Munson!” She smoked and Eddie gave out a little laugh.

“I guess I’m apologizing well when giving you some of that to relax.” He pointed to the joint between her fingers. “Why are you smoking anyway? I mean, I love to smoke but I would never recommend it to anyone. Ever.”

“My mom is being, well… A mother. Ever since I told her about the plans of going out of the state for college, I think she didn’t like the idea and then, everything is about how ungrateful I am and a terrible daughter because I’m abandoning them. You get the picture” (Y/N)’s voice suddenly lost the mocking tone and got replaced with an upset one. Eddie nodded slowly with his head. “I just wanted to feel away from these comments and well, I knew this!” She looked at the rolled cigarette.

“She will accept, eventually. Just don’t give up on your plans for her. It’s not fair to you.” Eddie said and (Y/N) looked at him, her eyes had the same warm when in middle school.  “I’m sorry for not giving you the benefit of doubt. I just went logically into the thing and got mad. It was unfair to you and to me, because I really liked you.”

“Thank you! Not sure of how much I remember of everything, but I liked you too.” And I’m rethinking if it was more than a friendship way, she thought to herself. She handed him the blunt for him to finish smoking.

“We could this more often, if you want.” He pointed to the both of them.

“Sure! I would love to.” She smiled at him and Eddie thought he would faint right there. “You can be my miracle aligner more often.”

“I think I like that title.” He said smiling at her and thinking he could finally take his shot with her now they were grown up and more mature than years ago. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.”

[princessnijireiki]

money is such a funny thing, bc it's always simultaneously way less and way more than you would think, too.

like there's the easy joke of $5, $20, $100 is HUGE when you're a kid or young adult, but I also fairly recently was in a position where I had like $1K in the bank (in a sweet spot between a TON of major bills hitting) and it was like oh wow so $1K is a lot until it VERY SUDDENLY ISN'T bc it only STAYS a lot if your needs are already met. if your needs surpass your means, or frankly, you've been scraping by below or within your means but really shouldn't have been, that shit evaporates in an instant. car, teeth, emergency vet bills, food. poof!

or I saw a hypothetical, would you rather know every language on earth fluently, or get $3 million dollars? and I had to crunch the numbers, because if you work every year from 18 to 78 (as in well past retirement age/at the end of a lot of people's projected lifespan), you'd have to make $50K per year AFTER taxes, every year for 60 years, to earn an ACCUMULATED $3 million. at $30K/year, you'd have to work 100 years.

and then, the flipside of that is, unless you die at exactly those ages, peacefully and in perfect health, how many people still struggle to make ends meet at $30-50K even when they ARE young and healthy? what's that look like in a hurricane, or after a car wreck, a disability, having a pet, having a KID, a marriage, a divorce, a funeral? how many people make $30-50K and when that check engine light comes on, or their child needs braces, or grandma needs a home health aide, or they get injured or sick and need to take FMLA, they realize that one thing now has them financially fucked? how many people making $30-50K per year do you know who have 6 months' worth of expenses set aside in an emergency savings account?

meanwhile, for $3,000,000, that money as a lump you don't have to touch or live paycheck to paycheck on also means you can accumulate interest, invest money, and so on. the access to lifetimes of funds to provide ease to this one life is a huge privilege most of us will never, ever know, and then you find out some stupid as fuck movie or commercial campaign cost tens or hundreds of millions. those rich people who got squished in the idiot submarine... lifetimes of wealth between them and their imploding stupid boat.

and so you look at all that, and you look at what medical debt looks like, or recovery from a fire or something, and once you see enough of that, the lottery fantasy answers get a lot more boring. like, I'd still have to finish this degree, get and keep a job to carry insurance and max out my retirement— maybe a flexible enough job that you grind for a few years to replace your house's down payment in the lump sum, then pull mortgage, utilities, insurance, etc. out of that interest, and the job income is pure health insurance, 401K, and takeout/walking around money. you pay your debts, help take care of a handful of loved ones, retire them early or pay off a house (over time, so the interest can still accrue on a bigger amount of money than the new sum from X minus $house). splurge on a vacation every so often. set up a college fund for a few kids, or neices, or nephews, or cousins.

and then it's like... go fishing. eat well! learn to sleep without fear of poverty, I don't know. know that if the money can grow, it can help a LOT of people feel safe, and that succumbing to the emotional urge to take care of everybody before that egg can grow bigger is what keeps people in multigenerational poverty, and that it's gonna mean things don't get to be easy for you mentally, emotionally, or even in terms of labor unless you're cashing out your chips right now to take care of yourself (which is also valid!). pick a charity every year to make their day.

and it's bonkers that $3mil feels like such a real number compared to some of these lotteries or very wealthy people/their property in the world, that even though it's cartoonishly out of reach, among the stars, it feels like, "is it even that much?" and like... yes, it very much is lmao, even though if you're under 50 it's not guaranteed "never have to work again" money. but that also means it's not "buy a castle & become a beekeeper slash professional poet as my only sources of income" big dreams & fantasies money, either.

[yellowloid]

Hello! I wanted to share my experience since I saw your post about recent gig, if it's ok :) I was in Paris at the Accor Arena too, but on May 10th. It was their 3rd show in a row and for some reason I was worried that they would be tired by this point, but no!! Alex was in some kind of an upper mood, quite excited even. Yeah, somewhere between songs he said "we are (or I am) exhausted at this point, but we are so happy" or smth like that. In fact, English is not my first language, and it was difficult to understand him sometimes, and I understood some phrases only after the concert from the fan videos on Instagram lol

Btw, he spoke French quite often that day, almost more than English ahahha. He greeted us in French, constantly thanked us in French with merci, "big ideas" was also said in French, and during dsdcihmyc he shouted "chair" in French. And during Body Paint, he awkwardly touched a standing guitar with a cord and dropped it that I couldn’t stop laughing afterwards. But outro BP was something incredibly exciting, he was great, completely immersed in what he was doing. During I wanna be yours, I almost cried, he sang it so soulfully, as if mentally returning to past happy moments in his memory. Oh, and yes, we had Cornerstone. Sorry...

As for the crowd, I completely agree with you. But, even though I had sitting places, already on the second song everyone stood up and did not sit down until the very end, dancing and screaming (me in particularly). To the right and left sides of me there were cute grandfathers in earplugs (funny that there alone, like they literally came to listen to the group, not to spend time with their grandchildren), who danced more actively than me and filmed every song on the phone ahhaha, it was very nice to see them! And before the encore, the stadium was shaking with clatter and I had goosebumps all over my body, the applause did not stop for a minute until they came out again. But yes, there was clearly a revival on the hype songs from AM, and on the songs from The Car everyone calmed down a bit. Of course, this is not Glasto, but still the audience was on fire.

And there were many more moments when he sang "I am a fool for you" directly to the camera, shouted something in the middle of the songs or between them, bowled on Pretty Visitors, said some little phrases between each song, it's unforgettable. I even had a mental breakdown after the concert, like only after the gig I realized that I saw them live and that they all were REAL indeed. Alex is so tiny sweety pie, and when he was blowing kisses at the very end and smiling sincerely, it made him look like a child. I just love them all so so much. I want to go to one more concert, because it really went disastrously fast.

Best experience in my life, happy that you also had it! ❤️

how dare you do this to me while i'm still drowning in concert nostalgia sjhdggdgsg

the usual french banter was actually so wholesome at my show too <3 definitely expected him to say something more but you won't catch me complaining shfgsg. and the "LA CHAISE" moment at yours was so random and silly how did y'all not collectively eat him. also not him dropping a guitar LMAOOOO

and i absolutely agree, body paint is already such a powerful song (it's been in my top three from the car from the very first moment eheheh) but hearing it live is just so........uGH it's soso powerful and the instrumental part when he always goes to jamie and they do their thing is absolutely beautiful and intense and aaaaa <///3

ugh i'll never forgive them for not giving me cornerstone and i was very upset about that BUT i have to say i probably would've been even MORE upset if they played perfect sense because i feel like it's rarer yknow? it's much more likely for them to play cornerstone (for obvious reasons) rather than perfect sense or even star treatment (which thankfully i got sjghdgf)

also iwby.......yeah. he always looks so pensive when he sings that and i'm like who HURT you babygirl <////3

yeah about the audience it was exactly the same at my show, we were all standing up and jumping around for most of the concert (mostly am and fwn tracks) but then the majority would go dead for specific songs, mostly from the car. but you can BET i was still singing my heart out. and also YEAH can we talk about the applause at the end of the main set and after the encore???? it just didn't stop it lasted SO LONG and it was SO WELL DESERVED because they were AMAZING

i awww'ed out loud at the grandfathers that is literally so sweet. i hope they had a great time :')

i don't remember if he bowled at my show but he did raise the mic stand in the air during pretty visitors sjfhsgfgs i also think he did something similar to what you said during sias, or maybe another song i don't remember - but yeah he pointed directly at the camera and i saw it on the big screen and almost collapsed right there and then lmao. and when he kept waving goodbye and blowing kisses and smiling he was so pretty and he really looked happy to be there and i just never wanted him to get off stage :') i truly wanted that moment to last forever.

the feeling you get once you realize that you're actually seeing them/you saw them is CRAZY. like they exist! they're real and tangible and you were in the same place as them! breathing the same air! and right after it's done (it literally goes by so fast) you start missing them so much. it's almost been two weeks and i'm still so emotional and nostalgic <///3 i love them so much and i miss them terribly.

thank you for sharing your experience anon, it was a pleasure reading about it and i'm happy we both had a great time!!

[rescue-ram]

6, 11, 18 for the writer asks

6. First fic/pairing you wrote for? (If no pairing, describe the plot)

Kdjfjd. Don't remember the first real proper fic that I wrote, but I think the very first fic I ever posted to the Internet was like. "What if Pippin had a Yokomon." And it immediately got deleted by the mods on FF.net for being ""spam"" kfkdk.

11. Weirdest thing you’ve ever written/thought about writing/etc.?

I got pretty wild with Kinktober this year- I think the wildest thing I published was the Hawnk voodoo doll fic kfkdkd, though Trapper Jesus is probably a v close runner up in terms of deranged premises. I- and I am genuinely mortified about this kvkkfd- almost wrote a vore fantasy fic (aka character fantasizing about vore/cannibalism, not enacted.) I half-started it and then realized no- no matter how convinced I am this character could plausibly do that- I absolutely can't publish that kdkdjkf.

ACTUALLY 18. How old were you when you started writing fanfiction

Like 10 or 11 kfkck

EDIT I'M AN IDIOT AND COPIED THE WRONG QUESTION FROM THE ASK MEME BUT I SPENT TOO LONG ON THIS LVKDKXJCM

18. Favorite Fic By Another Author

I COULDN'T PICK JUST ONE Links and squeeing below the cut.

Your Cowboy Days Are Over by Sam Donne is one of those fics I read a little too young but is so good- it's exploration of memory and trauma and parental love and the trolley problem is woven in with this great sci-fi setting and a resistance story. Absolutely phenomenal. Another fic by Sam Donne- Nebraska, an Iron Man fic- is a fic I read once a year every year for over a decade and made me weep uncontrollably at multiple points every time. It's one of the most intensely psychological fics I've ever read and dealt phenomenally with depression and autism and the nature of consciousness, and it fundamentally shaped my language of grief. It also currently only exists as a print out in a fire proof bag next to my social security card. The thought of losing that fic forever genuinely makes me gnaw on things!

One other SGA shout out: A Farm in Iowa by sheafrotherdon. My best friend and I were completely obsessed with this series in high school. Sweet wholesome AU fluff, absolutely bucolic.

In adjacent Stargate fandom, cleanwhiteroom recently posted a revised version of Force Over Distance to AO3 and is working revising on my personal fave of her stories Mathematique! Incredibly compelling slow-burn of a plot with deliciously ambiguous relationships and consciousness blending that questions the nature of self and other. Extremely concept rich story.

The Heart's Obligations by schemingreader I THOUGHT was lost media but it is found!!!! Augh. The ULTIMATE transformative fic to me- so wildly AU from its source material, Harry Potter, it's practically an original novel and yet the knowledge that this ISN'T original and IS informed by outside context changes the way you read it. Really well written and well researched historical novel with lines that have stuck with me for well over a decade.

For Man from UNCLE, couldn't decide between Wonderland and Partners, both by Pat Foley. Really interesting and realistic take on the canon material and makes great use of the Cold War setting.

Force of Nature by Jenna Hilary Sinclair for Brokeback Mountain is an ABSOLUTELY TRANSCENDENT "What if Jack didn't die" fic that is so so realistic and well written and touching. Not a happily ever after fic, but also not needlessly cruel, but a very compelling story of Jack and Ennis making a real relationship work while staying closeted in rural New Mexico. Incredible characterization, good OCs, plotty and long enough to lose yourself in, incredibly influential on my writing in ways I can't even express, you WOULD NOT BELIEVE MY SQUEE when I saw she was writing a sequel after a ten year hiatus!!!!

Graduation by bat400 takes some of the dark storylines from Star Trek Enterprise and plays them out without giving them a neat resolution an episodic TV show demands. Fully explores the depths of tragedy but still pulls it back up to that Star Trek optimism at the end without undermining what came before at all. There are some annoying formatting issues in the AO3 copy from when it was imported, but the story itself still shines. A really well written story about grief, moral injury, and recovery.

Okay we've officially exhausted my "off the top of my head" all time favorites and I'm now mentally gibbering to myself about what else I should mention because clearly I have many favorites that rotate in the back of my mind the way normal people think about scenes and quotes from real books or poems jfkdn.

We will close with Sins and Virtues by Quordle, because I VIVIDLY REMEMBER the experience of reading this I think in high school. I remember pawing thorough livejournal for TrapHawk fic recs, absolutely QwQ at the dearth, and there was like. A single line in a review for another fic, "inspired by the excellent Hawkeye/Mulcahy fic Sins and Virtues by Jane Carnall" and I was SO COMPLETELY GOBSMACKED by the concept of shipping Mulcahy with anyone but especially Hawkeye, I just had to track down this fic. I eventually found her personal archive and started reading the series like "Okay... Okay... Augh. AAAAAAAUGHHHHHHH." I was seriously getting up to pace multiple times during Such as We. Something that really made the series stand out to me was how DIFFERENT it felt. It didn't follow the usual rhythm of tension and release in shippy fics, used none of the usual tropes or short hands- it felt very original, and I loved how historically grounded it was. Like I'm sure you've already read it but if anyone else reading this hasn't, highly highly recommend!!!

[sleepydrabbles]

To be honest, sometimes I’m scared of the word ‘kind’. The word ‘nice’ is another hard one to hear. And ‘thank you’.

I acknowledge that I do quite a lot of nice things. But I don’t have a lot of nice thoughts, to such a degree that to have one is almost euphoric for me. A lot of the time the nice things I do come from the excitement of those nice thoughts.

I do quite a lot of things because they make people happy, and making people happy makes me happy. But I also like making people upset. For a while, I didn’t feel like any of the stories I wrote were a success unless someone told me the story made them cry. Furthermore, I get the same rush from someone acting pissed with me as I do when someone is happy I did something for them. More often than not, the fact that I caused a reaction seems to be the driving point.

But lately, I do seek positive reactions more often than negative. I want to know people’s favorite colors, and that leads to wanting to make them a friendship bracelet. Someone mentions they have a milk allergy, and from that point onward I try to find something without dairy in it whenever I bring treats for the unit back home. Someone has two cats, and they like cats; as soon as they’re close enough to me to be comfy, I send cat videos every so often. I want people to smile when they see me, and I want them to know someone thinks of them, even a little bit.

My stories and artwork have become really hard to share lately, and harder to create. I realized recently that I had gone too far in that direction and given too much of my time away to other people. I don’t regret it, and I enjoyed all of it (almost— sometimes my feet hurt quite a bit, and that was rough), but my inner child was furious, to put it lightly. It reminded me that while learning is a personal endeavor, the readings and assignments I complete are also something I do for someone else, and they count as time given to someone else, which meant that I had maybe a spare hour or two I was spending with myself, for myself. A date out to a local museum and arranging my work so I would have a full day off with nothing to do have gone a long way toward helping with that, but it’s also brought back that little flinch at ‘nice’ and ‘kind’.

I could dig down and blame my religious upbringing, the people around me who had service-based love languages but struggled to return the affection to me (I was very touch and praise-based at the time, and looking back, it hurts to know how hard they were trying). Hell, I could blame it on trust issues from previous relationships, where it felt like those labels were used to other me instead of as true praise. But I think the real root of it is that I know my core, and while I know that it is warm, and solid, and that I love to give to others when I have the resources to do so, neither of those words really describe it. It feels like a misnomer. I know how cruel I can be, especially when I’m angry, and I know that even on my best days that little smolder of cruelty is still a part of me. My sweet, lovely, amazing friends love to deny it, but I see that more as a reflection of them than me.

I don’t mean to bring myself down by saying that, either. The same fire that warms the hands can burn them pretty badly, right? I feel like a hot coal, more often than not. As long as people are at just a little bit of distance, they love me. The second they have me in their hands, though…

[doxypsychlean]

Hello, I loveddd your recent Aegon-post. I would like to share an Aegon x Reader idea that I would love to hear your take on. My pitch: Noblewoman is engaged to Aemond and very pleased. He is handsome, gentle with her, very strong, skilled, well-read and intelligent. Yet she can not seem to be able to resist his brother Aegon, whose advances appalls her almost as much as he intrigues her.

Irresistible

Aegon II Targaryen x Reader x Aemond Targaryen

Warnings: Explicit language, NSFW themes(only hinted at)

Thou shan't repost/copy/ translate any of my work or I'll sneak into your home late at night and tickle you with an axe!

English isn't my first language. I don't proofread. I slap commas wherever I feel they're needed.

A/N: Why, thank you, kind stranger! Glad to hear you liked it. And as I usually do, I'd like to apologize for taking my sweet time with posting the results. Cheers!

──────────────────────

The brothers were complete opposites, she'd come to realize. Aemond, her betrothed, was rough, cold and distant to the rest of the world, but soft, warm and sweet to her. He always had a kind word for her. The prince was so careful whenever she was around, as if not to spook her away.

The two spent most of their time in the Red Keep's library, reading to eachother. Stealing longing glances. Averting their eyes as one caught the other.

When they weren't in the library, the lady was watching him train with Ser Criston. Gods, he was strong... Through most of his training sessions, the lady could be seen standing off to the side, almost drooling at the sight of Aemond Targaryen swinging at his opponent. And who could blame her? The young man was ridiculously attractive. That patch made it even harder for her to keep her hands off...

Aemond rarely ever touched her. And when he did, it was for a second or two and always sickeningly innocent. Not because he didn't want to, no. Not even because it was deemed inappropriate. But because he wanted her to voice her needs before he acted. Aemond wanted to hear her give herself to him completely.

The older one, on the other hand...Prince Aegon was a menace. He sure lived up to all the stories she'd heard about him. He cared little that the lady was soon to be his sister-in-law. He cared even less about hiding his lust. His desire.

His insatiable hunger scared her. But there was more to what she felt. She knew it deep down, even if she tried to deny it. It excited her. The shiver that ran down her spine when the prince took her hand in his and kissed it the first time they met said more than enough. The woman could tell all the lies she wanted, Aegon could see right through all of them. Aemond could too.

She knew it wasn't right. She was to be married to Aemond soon, but the short-haired man was just as delicious looking as his younger brother. It was pure torture.

Unlike him, Aegon wasn't afraid to touch her. It amused him, the way she'd blush as his hands would find their way around her waist, all under the pretext of having to pass through right where she stood. Her reaction to his flirtatious little comments was even better. Lips parted slightly, eyes open wide, chest heaving, hands shaking. It was the same thing every single time.

"You know, brother... We've known each other for quite some time now, wouldn't you agree?" Aegon joked one night, after she'd left the two and headed for her chambers.

Aemond only hummed in response, glazed expression on his face. He couldn't say why, but he'd felt inclined to accept his brother's offer to join him for a drink after the feast. His patch now laid discarded on the small table between the two as they poured themselves glass after glass.

"As brothers, we've had to learn how to share from a pretty young age..." The older one trailed, his eyes meeting with those of his brother- the real one, as well as the sapphire. The light of the fire they sat close to was bouncing off of the gemstone in all directions.

"Careful now, brother. She's not a toy. My woman doesn't exist for you to play with whenever you're bored of your whores."

"She's not yours yet, is she? And you're mistaken, brother... I do not wish for you to give her to me. As I said, we've learned how to share...right?"

Aemond hummed once more, his cocky smirk finding way back to his face. He was no longer looking at Aegon, but instead over his head. Towards the now open door.

"I am not the one you should be asking for permission, Aegon."

"Then I should go and ask her then? Is that what you're telling me?"

"No need. Just turn around and speak the words."