#and an excuse to gibber wildly about my favorite fics QwQ

[rescue-ram]

6, 11, 18 for the writer asks

6. First fic/pairing you wrote for? (If no pairing, describe the plot)

Kdjfjd. Don't remember the first real proper fic that I wrote, but I think the very first fic I ever posted to the Internet was like. "What if Pippin had a Yokomon." And it immediately got deleted by the mods on FF.net for being ""spam"" kfkdk.

11. Weirdest thing you’ve ever written/thought about writing/etc.?

I got pretty wild with Kinktober this year- I think the wildest thing I published was the Hawnk voodoo doll fic kfkdkd, though Trapper Jesus is probably a v close runner up in terms of deranged premises. I- and I am genuinely mortified about this kvkkfd- almost wrote a vore fantasy fic (aka character fantasizing about vore/cannibalism, not enacted.) I half-started it and then realized no- no matter how convinced I am this character could plausibly do that- I absolutely can't publish that kdkdjkf.

ACTUALLY 18. How old were you when you started writing fanfiction

Like 10 or 11 kfkck

EDIT I'M AN IDIOT AND COPIED THE WRONG QUESTION FROM THE ASK MEME BUT I SPENT TOO LONG ON THIS LVKDKXJCM

18. Favorite Fic By Another Author

I COULDN'T PICK JUST ONE Links and squeeing below the cut.

Your Cowboy Days Are Over by Sam Donne is one of those fics I read a little too young but is so good- it's exploration of memory and trauma and parental love and the trolley problem is woven in with this great sci-fi setting and a resistance story. Absolutely phenomenal. Another fic by Sam Donne- Nebraska, an Iron Man fic- is a fic I read once a year every year for over a decade and made me weep uncontrollably at multiple points every time. It's one of the most intensely psychological fics I've ever read and dealt phenomenally with depression and autism and the nature of consciousness, and it fundamentally shaped my language of grief. It also currently only exists as a print out in a fire proof bag next to my social security card. The thought of losing that fic forever genuinely makes me gnaw on things!

One other SGA shout out: A Farm in Iowa by sheafrotherdon. My best friend and I were completely obsessed with this series in high school. Sweet wholesome AU fluff, absolutely bucolic.

In adjacent Stargate fandom, cleanwhiteroom recently posted a revised version of Force Over Distance to AO3 and is working revising on my personal fave of her stories Mathematique! Incredibly compelling slow-burn of a plot with deliciously ambiguous relationships and consciousness blending that questions the nature of self and other. Extremely concept rich story.

The Heart's Obligations by schemingreader I THOUGHT was lost media but it is found!!!! Augh. The ULTIMATE transformative fic to me- so wildly AU from its source material, Harry Potter, it's practically an original novel and yet the knowledge that this ISN'T original and IS informed by outside context changes the way you read it. Really well written and well researched historical novel with lines that have stuck with me for well over a decade.

For Man from UNCLE, couldn't decide between Wonderland and Partners, both by Pat Foley. Really interesting and realistic take on the canon material and makes great use of the Cold War setting.

Force of Nature by Jenna Hilary Sinclair for Brokeback Mountain is an ABSOLUTELY TRANSCENDENT "What if Jack didn't die" fic that is so so realistic and well written and touching. Not a happily ever after fic, but also not needlessly cruel, but a very compelling story of Jack and Ennis making a real relationship work while staying closeted in rural New Mexico. Incredible characterization, good OCs, plotty and long enough to lose yourself in, incredibly influential on my writing in ways I can't even express, you WOULD NOT BELIEVE MY SQUEE when I saw she was writing a sequel after a ten year hiatus!!!!

Graduation by bat400 takes some of the dark storylines from Star Trek Enterprise and plays them out without giving them a neat resolution an episodic TV show demands. Fully explores the depths of tragedy but still pulls it back up to that Star Trek optimism at the end without undermining what came before at all. There are some annoying formatting issues in the AO3 copy from when it was imported, but the story itself still shines. A really well written story about grief, moral injury, and recovery.

Okay we've officially exhausted my "off the top of my head" all time favorites and I'm now mentally gibbering to myself about what else I should mention because clearly I have many favorites that rotate in the back of my mind the way normal people think about scenes and quotes from real books or poems jfkdn.

We will close with Sins and Virtues by Quordle, because I VIVIDLY REMEMBER the experience of reading this I think in high school. I remember pawing thorough livejournal for TrapHawk fic recs, absolutely QwQ at the dearth, and there was like. A single line in a review for another fic, "inspired by the excellent Hawkeye/Mulcahy fic Sins and Virtues by Jane Carnall" and I was SO COMPLETELY GOBSMACKED by the concept of shipping Mulcahy with anyone but especially Hawkeye, I just had to track down this fic. I eventually found her personal archive and started reading the series like "Okay... Okay... Augh. AAAAAAAUGHHHHHHH." I was seriously getting up to pace multiple times during Such as We. Something that really made the series stand out to me was how DIFFERENT it felt. It didn't follow the usual rhythm of tension and release in shippy fics, used none of the usual tropes or short hands- it felt very original, and I loved how historically grounded it was. Like I'm sure you've already read it but if anyone else reading this hasn't, highly highly recommend!!!