#recently and honestly it’s SO helpful to have my bsf around

[robert-and-dave]

not enough people talk about platonic love bcs idk abt you but my best friend is my favourite person ever!!

when shit gets tough i stay alive for the potential of having forever with you. i hate the idea of spending time i could be spending with you 6ft underground, so i stay alive bcs i know come the weekend we’ll be watching a movie and baking cookies, and maybe that’s all there is to life. maybe that’s it. i’d like that.

[r3leee]

wild heart

HEY CHAT!!! guess who’s backkk 😎 so uh there’s absolutely ZERO towa content on this app and i know my girlies are hungry so this is what we’re doing now!!! take it or leave it

pairing: towa bird x fem!bsf!reader

summary: you’re falling messily, horribly, sappily, all around in love with your best friend, towa. thinking she doesn’t feel the same, you stay quiet. little do you know, you should have higher expectations…

warnings: RPF!! don’t like, don’t read, friends to lovers, kind of slow burn?, cursing, established towa and reader crushes (KISS ALREADY, MY GOD), reader likes/liked men at some point, really just fluff

word count: 2900, should take about 22 minutes to read (whoops)

listen to: wild heart by towa bird

“you say i got a reckless streak in my snakeskin boots and levi’s jeans”

YOU’D ONLY MET her a few months ago, but if you knew anything about towa bird, it was that she was an absolute ladykiller.

“how do you do it?” you remember asking her over coffee. towa finished her sip, looking at you with a puzzled expression.

“do what? sip my coffee?” you snickered.

“no. have so many girls fawn over you.” a look of realization came on her face. in response, she just shrugged.

“i don’t know.”

“what do you mean?! there’s gotta be something,” you said, shocked. all she did was laugh and shake her head.

“charm? don’t know what you want me to say.”

the moment you met, she had actually just gotten broken up with by her most recent ex. you remember that day so clearly; how you both ran into each other on the sidewalk, the coffee stain on your shirt, how she apologized so fast you thought she’d explode out of fear.

she insisted she give you her number, take you out for lunch sometime soon as an apology. you thought she was cute.

turns out, the real towa was just hiding under her misery. she was funny, jarring, bold.

and you didn’t know why, but every time she showed up at your apartment after a night out, or you two were out in the city and she told you about the amazing girl she’d met the night before, you couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. not even just that; hurt. jealous.

there was no reason to even be as upset as you were; really, they never lasted.

towa would show up at a party, get drunk, find some girl, they’d fuck, then a few different things could happen: towa would forget to ask the girl’s number, the girl would have a boyfriend (ouch), the girl would barely remember the night before, etc.

the most charming part of it all, though? she’d regain her composure so quick, it was almost like nothing happened. you admired it, even celebrated a little when it happened. even if it was bad, you wanted her, and that’s something you couldn’t deny.

“i think you got a wicked smile, and those angel eyes with timeless style”

even if you didn’t know it, those feelings were mutual. heavily.

honestly, towa didn’t even know why she still did this. this constant cycle of fuck, forget, repeat. well she did know why she was doing it, but she hated the reason.

she wanted you. all of you. she had a good sense of detecting crushes, and the second she felt her heart pang looking at you, she knew she was a goner.

the day she knew she liked you, you were at the beach. the both of you went together with some friends. while towa was swimming in the ocean, you had just wanted to tan. you looked gorgeous, laying on your back, reading a book you specifically curated for that day.

but your beauty wasn’t stopping her from getting you in the water.

towa had told one of her friends in the water with her she'd be back in a second as she stepped out and onto the shoreline. she pulled her hair out of her eyes as she glanced at you, eyes fixed on your book. she smiled unconsciously at it.

once she walked over to the umbrella the group was at, the group greeted her. she said hi back before leaning down to your level. "you should get in the ocean," she mumbled.

"mm," you scrunched your face. "it's cold."

"and it's hot out here. come ooooooon," she whined, almost similar to a kid being refused dessert. it made you giggle.

"towa, i love you, but i'm just not feeling it." she sighed, shaking her head and standing back up.

"alright, fine." she glanced at you one more time, pretending to walk away, before she quickly snatched the book out of your hands, dropped it on the sand, and picked you up.

your friends laughed as you shrieked, laughing a bit too. she slung you over her shoulder, walking as fast as she could to the sea as you pleaded her to stop, both of you laughing so hard your stomachs hurt.

once she was in deep enough, she threw you into the cold sea. you screamed as you fell, but quickly regained your composure to splash towa in the face with salt water.

the way you laughed, how your wet hair looked, and how your gorgeous eyes reflected in the sunlight told her enough to know she was gaining a silly, high-school crush on you.

“i could smoke you out for fun in my leather vest. i love you 'til the death, you’re a bullet in my chest”

surprisingly, you had no idea towa even did music until a while after you met. you were at her apartment for dinner, when you asked, “what do you do for work?”

she’d mentioned needing to do stuff for her job a few times, but never exactly what she did.

when she told you, you were shocked. “why didn’t you tell me?! that’s so fucking cool!” you exclaimed.

“cause i don’t think it’s that good!”

that night, you looked her up on spotify and listened to her full discography, even if it wasn’t the biggest. you had no idea how she could think it wasn’t good. it was amazing.

against her wishes, you were there, front row at her next show. she was playing a festival and you stood at the front of the stage for three hours before she came on.

you caught her eyes almost immediately. a small smile spread on her face and she softly shook her head, quickly continuing the song.

when you looked at her outfit, you were taken aback. she was wearing a new leather vest you’d never seen with a long-sleeve black shirt, her usual levi’s jeans, and her usual jewelry. but it was her shoes. these snakeskin boots. you gave them to her for her birthday and she’d never worn them until today. you thought she didn’t like them.

after the show, she led you backstage. she was laying back on a couch, sweaty, gulping from a water bottle you brought her. you nervously tapped your hands on your thigh. “you did great.”

she finished gulping, wiping her mouth. “thank you. it wasn’t my best show, though. kind of embarrassed you saw that.”

“i thought it was great.”

“i messed up a bit, though.”

“i didn’t even notice,” you reassured. she sighed.

“you sure?”

“100%.” she let the topic go, nodding her head. you sat in awkward silence for a second. the tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. “you’re wearing the boots.” she glanced down at them.

“oh, ya.”

“thought you didn’t like them.”

“no, i do, it’s just…didn’t have a good time to wear them. until today. thought they’d look good with the outfit.”

you nodded in understanding. “i mean, they do look good. but boots? on stage?

“mm, wasn’t thinking. just thought it looked nice,” she lied. truth was, she wanted a reminder of you to be on her, no matter the pain. you just shook your head.

“fuckin’ dumbass. you look nice, though.”

“awwww, thanks, darling,” she teased, suddenly leaning over to kiss your cheek.

this was a banter you two had; acting like a couple jokingly. anyone with eyes could see it wasn’t casual for either of you, but you two were just oblivious and doubtful.

you smiled and blushed. “of course, honey,” you said through a giggle. she patted your thigh, kicking off her shoes.

“come on, let’s get you home.”

the next morning, videos of the performance scattered the internet. there was one particular video you saw: it was when she noticed you in the crowd. the text read “OMFG DOES SHE HAVE A GF??? WHO IS SHE LOOKING AT LIKE THAT WHATTTT”

the whole rest of the day, you were smiling and giggly, happy someone thought you two were more than just friends.

little did you know, towa had seen the same video and felt the same exact way.

“oh you, i can’t believe that you could tame my wild, wild heart”

even if crushes weren't that unusual for towa, this was to a new extreme. you were always somehow there, in the back of her mind.

when she was trying to go to bed, when she was watching a movie you mentioned you liked once, when she had any time to herself, her thoughts always drifted to you. it was eating her alive.

suddenly, to your surprise, the nights she spent out decreased. she started to take care of herself more, becoming less hungover and more energetic.

you two hung out more, making it almost a weekly ritual to meet up for dinner at one of your apartments. you would either cook or order dinner, catch up on the latest gossip, and laugh as the warm glow of the kitchen lights illuminated your faces.

you both always wanted to reach out, feel the other's skin on their palm. but you never did. you both opted for scooting a bit closer when the other wasn't looking and hoped that was enough. it made towa’s heart pound and she didn't know why.

you were making her crazy.

"i'm pretty quick, shoot from the hip with words that whip, but i'm in your grip"

it didn't take long for her to tell you how she felt. that's kind of just how towa was; quick. just like a stereotypical lesbian.

you always teased her about it, saying you'd never agree to go as fast as she did. and you always believed that. until it happened to you.

the two of you were having breakfast at a restaurant (towa paying for part of losing a bet.) you were just chatting and cracking jokes, like usual.

you took a bite of your food, but after you swallowed, you noticed your best friend staring at your face. "what? did my makeup smear?" she just laughed and shook her head.

all of a sudden, she was leaning over the table. "got a bit of food right...here." she wiped the bit of crumbs away with her thumb. she could feel your skin heat up under her fingertip, and honestly, she couldn't blame you; she would've been doing the same.

in fact, she was doing the same as she finished off with a soft "there" and sat back down.

what followed was an awkward silence as you both looked everywhere except the other's face. you looked back down and tried to start eating again, but there was an undeniable lump in your throat.

you heard a soft laugh from the end of the table. "you're cute when you do that." you almost choked.

"i'm sorry?"

"you heard me," she stated, taking a sip of her juice before continuing. "you're cute."

you didn't know how to respond, just sitting with your mouth hung wide open. "uh- thank yo-"

"do you wanna go out?" she cut you off. again, a few seconds passed. "like, uh, you know, to just, like, a museum or something...later...like, in a few days."

"as friends?"

"as whatever you want it to be."

that was all the clarity you needed. you immediately said yes.

"throw your lasso, come and catch me, babe. i'm indiana jones, you're my last crusade"

you weren’t sure if the museum counted as a date. you absolutely wanted it to, but the whole event was a little friendly.

you just walked around like you two normally would with anything, albeit a little awkwardness. she offered you to stay the night at her place, and of course, you couldn’t turn that down.

the both of you ended up on her couch, you in her clothes, watching indiana jones. “it’s for nostalgia,” towa had told you.

after being out in the chilly winter air, you and towa were wrapped in one of her blankets. she only had one, since the others were in the wash, so you had to share.

the contact was killing you; you could barely pay attention to the movie. every time towa moved to make herself more comfortable you felt shock waves through your body. it was almost kind of pathetic.

she noticed this but didn't say anything, simply continuing the tease the shit out of you.

at a certain point, she spoke, causing you to jump. “you know, if they were hot enough, i’d let somebody betray me and send me down into that firey pit of hell any time they wanted." you were confused.

"what?"

"i mean, if they were hot enough." you snorted.

"seriously? that's like, a death wish!"

"okay, imagine the hottest person in the world. if you let them do anything to you for a chance of them liking you back, would you?" you thought for a second.

"no."

"bullshit! fucking bullshit," she exclaimed.

you just rolled your eyes, defending yourself. but, when you thought about it that night, you realized you maybe would've let towa do that. maybe.

"gravel in my throat and sweetness on my tongue. this ain't my first rodeo, my bad, i should have known."

when the two of you were going out, before you were officially "girlfriends," towa was trying to gauge you. when you two were together, walking down the street or looking at clothes, she'd ask you "do you like this shiny material, or like, soft?" "okay, i know you think her hair makes her hot, but is there anything else there? at all?" "do you think he's funny?" to a comedian on tv.

you barely even noticed the sudden questioning since it was so spaced out. i mean, she did things like this constantly. she always wanted to get to know you better.

but, since you started going out, her questions turned from funny and lighthearted to trying to figure out if a certain pair of pants would make you like her more. she just wanted to be perfect for you, even if she already was in your head.

as time went on, the questions started to get more and more obvious she wanted to set a precedent of what you liked. which was what led to surprising news to her.

you two were sitting on a park bench after a walk. taking a sip of water from your water bottle, you looked around. towa examined your face, smiling at its natural beauty. your eyes darting around were angelic to her. "you said you had a relationship in college?"

you turned to face her. "ya?"

"what was she like?"

"oh...uh, it was a guy..."

"oh." she sat for a second. "really?"

"really."

"have you ever been with another girl, then?" you shook your head. "woah." she had to process that for a second. in her head, you were kissing girls left and right in your younger years, but you weren't. "so like...when did you find out you liked girls?"

you recalled the memory in your head. "a few years back. i don't know, i just saw two girls kissing on the subway and i was like, 'i kinda want that,' y'know?" she nodded.

"have you ever been kissed by a girl?" okay, this conversation was taking a huge turn. you quickly shook your head.

"i mean, no, but i always thought it'd be...kinda nice..." you trailed off.

all of a sudden, she was scooting closer to you. "come here," she mumbled, before quickly adding, "if you want to, of course."

"yes," you replied too quick. she smiled and cupped your cheek in her hand. then her lips were on yours and it was beautiful.

it was only for a quick second, but when she pulled away, she had a bit of your lip gloss on her lips and they were so soft, you were spiraling. "you want anoth-"

you didn't even let her finish before you went back in. she giggled into the kiss, keeping her hand on your cheek.

“the open road is the loneliest, come ride by my side into the sunset”

it took months to get to this point, but here you were; on a picnic on a date in the city, staring off into the sunset. your head was on towa’s shoulder as you stared off at the sky, full of vibrant oranges and pinks.

her hand was unconsciously stroking your hair, admiring with you. “hey,” she mumbled. you looked up at her.

“hm?”

“so, uh…i know we’ve kind of like, been going out for a while now…” oh my god. was this it?

“i was just…meaning to ask you if you’d maybe want to like…be my girlfriend?” you were so happy you thought you could explode. when you didn’t respond within a couple seconds, she quickly added “and totally not to like, rush you or anything, i was just won-”

you quickly shut her up by pressing your lips to hers. when you pulled away, you said “towa, oh my god, yes.”

her cheeks were softly tinted red as she fell back on the blanket. “okay! good, i thought you’d say yes, i just wasn’t sure-”

you quickly leaned down to kiss her again. “you ramble when you’re nervous,” you teased with a smile.

“shut up.”

[thisdreamplace]

hey! i have a question

what do u do if u wanna manifest something but you can't stop thinking about the 3d and how its literally in ur face? for example i'm manifesting my friends back cuz i was forced to drop them by my toxic bsf. but every day when i see them it's so discouraging cuz i always see them hanging out and living their best life w/o me, etc? like i feel like i'm just wasting sm of my time and the law doesnt works for me idk :/

hey :)

oooooo tbh i would take the space for u honestly ! are u wasting ur time ? no bc technically theres no such thing. but its like. could be if ur just sitting there stagnantly waiting around for them while feeling bad about urself. you know recently i had to think about my friendships and whats worth it to me, and i realized that any friend worth having can withstand a hard patch. if that person (or people) doesnt come back after that, then it was for the best. feel free to reach out to them and rekindle. dont let the law make u think u need to just sit there watching the days go by. clearly that approach doesnt feel THAT good to you. lol anyway, to answer ur initial question ive learned to make more peace and accept where im at and what im feeling, then allow myself to naturally move from that point in whatever way feels truly best to me (not in the way in which i think i will get a result to manifest)

hope this helps <3