#rec lists and writing advice posts take me longer than other asks

[bettsfic]

betts you 1000000% have been the writer of the Brainrot fic. also, there is nothing more than i love than sending recs!! off the top of my head, there's "dioecy" by eternalbrook (this one has a lil scene at the end that whooped my ass like it's never been whooped), "the Kinslayer & his Dreamer" by helaemond (she also has a darkfic & an OF AU which are all, affectionately, fucking INSANE), "papillion" by ladybundle, "leucoma salicis" by inclination, the entire "crisis of my faith" series by

brokentombstone, catalystcomet has 3 incredible fics for them (my fav is "the gift"), and all of missatomicbomb's fics for the pairing are also brilliant (fav is "hunting season"), along with a bunch of gems i'm probably missing and will frantically send over later. i know that was a lot to bombard with all at once but people have really been popping off! also mmmotionnn, jinniwiin, DIANAII__ on twitter have some stunning art for them (among so many others!) thank you for indulging me betts!

agh sorry for the delay posting this! i like to make sure i have everything in my marked for later list so i don't lose it (historically when people send me recs i sometimes have a hard time finding them again on my blog, so i like to make sure i have everything saved *before* i post) and things have just been busy. but! i have them all marked now and they all look amazing and i can't wait to dig into them! my favorite tag of the bunch is "sinister caretaking."

i can definitely see myself getting into this ship/fandom, maybe not as a writer because i'm so awful at canon fics* and this seems like a hard ship to make into a modern au (but i'm doing it now for rexsoka so who knows anymore) but i'm thrilled to read for it!

*i recently reread my jaime/myrcella got fic and wow for someone who never read the books idk how i managed the canon details there. definitely an anomaly.

thank you for these recs!

[thatblondeperson]

So I learnt from that Tim Drake Guy's tumblr that Steph is a bully and abusive with Tim is that true. I ask since I know you seem to agree with a lot of the thoughts expressed on that blog. Can you help me find some examples of Tim/Steph comics. I was going to get YJ but the same tumblr blog says it's bad

So I want to preface with some very solid advice I've learned from being in fandom. It's really hard to learn anything from any blog because so much of it is opinion based, that the line between headcanon and canon gets far too muddied too often, and there's also always going to be biases that come from very personal spaces. It's important to take everything that every blog says ESPECIALLY in the DC fandom, with a very large grain of salt because half the fandom really doesn't actually seem to source their information with anything other than out of context panels, shitposts, or their own perfect ideals of what they want to gleam from the pages of each comic. It's all interpretive, and I'm sure that sounds a little bit petty, but I'm adding myself in here too because I have my own opinions separate from others, despite my firm ideology in staying as close to canon as I possibly can.

As far as that blog, I actually strayed away from them because I no longer agreed with a lot of what was being said. It got to the point where it was getting very unnecessarily negative all the time, and I want no part in this ship war that drives practically every bit of drama in the Tim fandom. I think that there is a lot of merit to some of the opinions on that blog, and they're clearly an expert on Tim in many ways. I knew them personally, so I can attest to that. But I think they also read only what they WANT to read on every page, and I think that makes for a lot of gaps where misinformation can leak in. That got filled with a lot of straight up wrong assessments of Stephanie Brown, and unfortunately that blog was already prime traffic for antis to spew unnecessary hate, so once the blog itself got on board, I tapped out.

No, Stephanie is not an abuser or a bully. I think tumblr throws around the word abuse far too casually. At most, Steph teases Tim, but never to a malicious or purposefully hurtful extent. She pokes at him, just like you would with a best friend. He barely even protests. A simple "Steph..." every now and again, but he even teases her back often and jokes with her. She's not an abuser, in fact, she herself is a victim of severe abuse in her childhood. Her flirting at the beginning of her and Tim's relationship is a bit intense, but she's 15, and doesn't know how to catch his attention. Her boyfriend was clearly way older than her and did not treat her well, her father abused her mother, and she was sexually harassed by her father's friends. She's never seen a healthy relationship to know how to act. Once they get together, she mellows out and is actually very compassionate and kind with Tim, and especially supportive.

A lot of haters throw around all this terrible stuff she did.

They say she stole Robin from Tim. He stepped away from the mantle, and she thought she caught him cheating, and Bruce opened up the opportunity for her.

They highlight a time when she almost blew Tim up. Bruce told her to do something drastic to force Tim to be a better Robin. Should she have thought it through? Yes. But she was young, and still desperate to prove herself.

Steph is a loose canon throughout a lot of her appearances. She doesn't always think before she acts, and that is one of her major flaws. She gets into trouble often, and that causes a lot of tension between her and Tim, often from him becoming overprotective of her.

Steph starts out fairly cynical in the beginning and softens up over time. After the explosion stunt with Tim, she does get her act together and she goes through a fantastic character arc where she really improves upon herself. She becomes a beacon of hope, but she really already was one. She's always been a source of light for Tim. She's a constant tether for him throughout their relationship, and she constantly bringing him back to reality. I think their dynamic is really great, and it does hurt me a lot how often she gets dragged through the mud now. It's tumblr, what can you do?

It's also interesting to me how often Steph is called out for being the unhealthy one, and they never talk about how Tim was the shitty boyfriend way more often:

Kept his identity from her but didn't respect keeping hers private

Kissed her when he was dating someone else at the time (he's actually kinda known for subtle two-timing, but this is hardly brought up by fans)

Essentially stalked her for a while

Often told her she needed to stop being Spoiler (overprotective nature yes...but still)

Interesting how the relationship is only toxic because of Steph. Hell she even gets shit for getting upset that Greta straight up tried to kill her in Young Justice, because they think it was selfish of her that she was desperate to learn Robin's identity. Yeah sorry...murder vs wanting to know your crushes name? Which is worse?

I'm also not going to sit here and demand that everyone love Steph. It's ok that people don't like her, I could give 2 shits, but if they're gonna spew hate, I'd prefer it be rooted in truth. Some of what I see written about her is just so so wrong...there's a trend in anti culture to even write her as Tim's rapist which YIKES. That's so beyond a healthy amount of dislike for a character.

Anyway, comic recs!!!

Detective Comics 647-648. (First appearance of Steph/Spoiler with classic "love at first brick" moment.)

Robin 57-65 (First date issue which is the cutest thing ever. Robin does a little flip at the end because he's so happy. And the chronology of Steph being pregnant which Tim was supportive of the whole time. Super sweet)

Robin 100-104 (Steph gets sick and Tim brings her soup. Lots of cute domestic moments, and you get more into Steph's past)

Robin 111 (more about Steph's past with Tim being super supportive, also the infamous piano issue which is a personal favorite of mine)

Robin 116 (very cute moments after Tim forgets his bday and everyone, Steph included, surprises him)

Robin 119 (supportive bf Tim, strikes again)

Robin 120 (Steph being an amazing supportive gf)

Batgirl 8 (Steph's run, where she and Tim collide again for the first time in a long time. Awkwardness and tension ensues, Tim tries to make a move)

Red Robin 10 (more crossover, very fun. More awkwardness and tension)

Convergence Batgirl (Not the best run, but a nice bit of closure for the pre flashpoint universe. Very sweet and wholesome.)

There's way more that I could list but I'm awful with issue numbers tbh. I know the stories, but I don't have the catalogue memorized. Better people than me have probably made a masterlist of TimSteph comics lol

I don't think you should let any blog turn you away from any particular series. I think if you wanna try out the new YJ, go for it!! I'm very cynical to anything published post 2011, but YJ is the only thing I've consistently read that's NEW, in years. I find it fun. Is it the best? No, not by miles, and it gets stuck with a lot of nonsensical filler often. But it's still a very cute and fun run.

I hope this ask gave you a lot of good info! I also recommend the very long post that should be just below this that goes into a lot of fandom misconceptions about Stephanie brown with more picture examples to highlight everything. Thanks for the ask, anon! I hope you have a lovely time reading these comics and hopefully many more!!

🖤💜❤😊😊😊❤💜🖤

[o0o-chibaken-o0o]

Could you tell me some drarry fics where Draco and Harry write letters to each other anonymously

Hello, hello!!! The @hpcommentathon is happening now, so I want to broaden this list to include ALL letter-writing as well as chatting/texting fics :D. Hopefully these recs will help you fill one of your categories!! And if you’re seeing this after the comment-a-thon is over, leave these brilliant writers some feedback anyway

Epistolary Drarry (letters)

Lettered (8K), Lush Life (19.5K), & Home Again, Home Again (22K) by pir8fancier- Harry has a secret penpal, whose identity is as plain as the nose on his face. Except he’s not wearing his glasses.I’ve only just realized today that the last work in this series exists, and I’m in a panic because I must MUST read it— the first two are amazing and perfect and they have EVERYTHING. Be aware that the sequel(s) are very different from Lettered because they take place years later, but Lush Life (and probs the other one too!!) is JUST AS BRILLIANT as Lettered, which you will definitely fall in love with!!!!

Catch 22 by jad (50K)- As if NEWTS weren’t enough, Dumbledore’s gone and had another one of his ‘bright ideas.’ If all ends well, the Houses will be getting along in no time. Or according to Harry’s correspondent, an Apocalypse will be in order.Okay THIS FIC THO. It’s exactly what anon is looking for, because they are writing proper anonymous letters back and forth, trying to guess each others’ identities, and it’s an amazing read! With a very dramatic reveal :D

Dear Diary by AWickedMemory (20.5K)- // This can’t possibly go worse than the last time I kept a diary. //After the war, Harry picks up a journal to write in… and it writes back. Luckily, it’s not a Horcrux on the other end this time.OOOOOH this one is just so delicious because Harry is asking his “anonymous pen pal” what he should do about his crush on DRACO MALFOY and that is a recipe for amazingness if I ever saw one.

#switching #owling #bumping into each other by @queenofthyme (~2K)- No summary because this one’s actually a drabble here on tumblr (although you will soon be able to find it as part of qot’s drabble collection on AO3!), but I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH and I thought of it immediately, so I couldn’t not include it! It’s beautiful and there may or may not be POETRY from one of the boys to the other!!!

I identify my star sign by asking which is least compatible with yours by Ingi (13K)- In Eighth year, Harry Potter’s new term resolution was not getting into fights with Draco Malfoy.It lasted exactly a month and two days.This is a wonderful, cute little fic with a ton of attractions!!! It seems like I’m always asking myself which fic this or that element is from, and somehow the bits I remember have turned out to be from this fic multiple times. Idk how it’s possible, but I do know you’ll enjoy it greatly

A Fluffy Little Olive Branch by @julietsemophase (5K)- Harry comes into work one day to find a box with a baby owl inside sitting on his desk, and a note from a mystery well-wisher.Just… really cute!!! ADORABLE, even. And very… fluffy *wink wink wink* (I’m hilarious shh). Featuring a very thoughtful, pining Draco and a sweet baby owl

Dear Enemy by @gingertodgers (69K)- An anonymous benefactor makes a generous donation to Harry Potter’s School for Squibs in exchange for a weekly letter from the Boy Who Lived.What begins as a chore soon becomes the only outlet Harry has to talk about the war, love, life, hope, redemption, his renewed obsession with a certain blonde nemesis and how he really, honestly, believes that this will be the year Puddlemere United reclaim the Quidditch League Cup.Okay, so my friends on the Drarry discord just told me today about this fic and about how everyone who reads it is obsessed, and I just (accidentally) read the first chapter and am already HOOKED so they were not lying!! 100% sure we will all adore it

On Our Way by Dynamic (30K)- Draco is trying to spend the summer keeping his head down, but a repair project and a certain snowy owl have other plans for him.This is an absolutely LOVELY, very touching!, not quite eighth yeah year fic that features DRACO FINDING AN OWL WHO IS HEDWIG’S CHILD AND TRYING TO GIVE HER TO HARRY WHO NEVER WANTS ANOTHER OWL!!!! Literally, how perfect???

And an Owl Named Romeo by Rickey (26.5K)- Draco breeds owls, Harry’s an Auror, and an owl named Romeo is going to bring them together.I’m noticing that a lot of these fics revolve around owls, which is amazing because I ADORE reading about them, but I must say this might possibly be my favorite Drarry owl fic!!! Harry buys an owl from Draco, then needs lots and lots of advice

Better Than an Origami Bird by @jadepresley and yours truly @o0o-chibaken-o0o (3.5K)- A series of letters in which Harry and Draco argue, play truth or dare, get kinky, and are a couple of very naughty (or very good, depending on who you ask) boys during class.This fic was literally the most fun thing ever to write, because @jadepresley and I got into a contest to see who could make the other one blush more — so if you want some very kinky epistolary smut, you will not be disappointed (hopefully!)

Starfall by Lomonaaeren (196.5K)- When the truth about a seemingly minor Dark hex Harry has suffered leads to the dissolution of his marriage with Ginny, Harry spins into a downward spiral. His private consolation is creating a fantasy life for himself in his journal as Ethan Starfall, a normal wizard with a big family. When he receives a random owl Draco Malfoy has cast into the void as a plea for help with his son Scorpius, Harry replies—as Ethan. There’s no reason, he thinks, for an epistolary friendship with Draco to go further. But Draco might have different ideas about that.This is obviously a HUGE fic full of angst and many many issues and plot devices besides letter-writing—but since the letters are pretty central to the plot, I’m including it here! This fic is a crazy ride, and you will get so invested. Great if you’re looking to read something longer :)

Chat/Texting Fics

Real Texts by @affectiionwrites and @jadepresley (2K)- Kingsley has decided all his Aurors need muggle mobile phones. Draco has finally learned how to use his, and gets a hold of Harry’s number.Drarry textiiiiing!!! And they’re so funny about it! WITH PICTURES!!! I adored the mop, and if you want to know what that means, you’ll just have to read it ;D

Howlr by @partialtopotter​ (15.5K)- Howlr is the new dating application enchanting Witches, Wizards and Everyone in between. Are you looking for the one or a one-night stand; it’s all here folks. Howlr is sponsored by Weasley Wizard Wheezes, the same team that brought us the Spellular just two years ago. Ginny Weasley, famed chaser for the Hollyhead Harpies, swears by the app, ‘guaranteed to make sparks fly,’ she says. The magic awaits you!This is actually another one I haven’t gotten to read yet, but I had to include it because I hear people gushing about it every time a new chapter is released and I am SO looking forward to reading it! Based on this amazing post

Must Love Quidditch by dracosoftie (103.5K)- Through a series of emails from an online dating site, Harry thinks he’s found his perfect match. Will the bond they’ve forged survive after their identities are revealed? This fic is a classic, and a great one for if you’re looking for a longer fic! Dating sites are just the best!!! RIGHT?? And there are some courting rituals in here that I greatly enjoyed as well ;D

Blind Date by JosephineStone (8.5K)- Draco’s been working with Harry for years when another one of his relationships goes stale. He has to be married within a year, and though the WizNet has burned him in the past, Draco finds a new possibility in man as desperate to marry as he is. Only then for Harry to see his last chance with Draco slipping away, and he refuses to let Draco ignore his advances any longer.Another dating site fic!!!! These always have me W E A K!!! And this one is especially amazing because in addition to chatting online, they work together toooooo

Group Chat by @jadepresley​ (2K)- A screenshot of a group chat conversation between Draco, Harry, Ron, Pansy, Hermione and Theo.Okay I know there are three fics by Jade on this list, but I swear I’m not (only) trying to seduce her; she’s actually just AMAZING at this format and you have to read them all because uhkdskjsaaslkdj!!! This is one of the funniest short fics I’ve ever read, NO LIE

[namjinsgirl]

SURPRISE SURPRISE, all that talk about me deleting and here i am!!! it’s happening!! why am i still typing in bold!

hi it’s jess. this is one last follow forever or appreciation post for friends i guess? more explanation under the cut. rly hope this doesn’t fuck up people’s notifications, i’m sorry if it does

@mutuals you’re all welcome to rb this if you want bc ily guys too ok anyways:

i’m deleting?? not sure /when/ exactly, i was gonna delete out of the blue today and not tell anyone but then i felt bad which led me to making this. i might delete later this week? maybe later this month? maybe when i go back home to the us in december, idk really. i just know i inevitably will in the next month or two. it’s been a super long time coming; i’m not happy and i really am grateful for the friends i’ve made here and i love them all but like. everything about tumblr just feels bad for me and whenever i log in i just feel weird and like i shouldn’t be here and i KNOW i’m being super vague. anyways i’m gonna take my dramatic ass and leave and hopefully get better.

and i’m also not sure if i’m gonna remake or not. if i do remake, i probably won’t be coming back as a bts blog but. who knows?? that’s why this blog will be up for at least another week (probably longer) while i decide because if i do remake, i’ll be moving shit from here to there and yeah. i just hit 7k pretty recently which i Do Not deserve but if you guys wanna unfollow me since i’ll delete soon-ish, feel free.

onto the appreciation and love section -- not gonna write stuff for everyone because i have a tendency to never shut up so here are some really really cool, smart, talented, kind, beautiful people that you guys should all be following (not in alphabetical order sorry). this is a much shorter list than my usual follow forevers since it’s people i’ve talked to quite a bit more than the odd ask here and there but check out my follow forever tag and blog recs tag for other amazing people. anyways @ all of you, you’re incredible people and thanks for listening, giving advice, making me laugh, being There. ily all (hence the hearts and cute emojis up there, all for you)

@tseokjin / @jinsasleep / @minyoongihoseok / @ksjknj / @honeymygs / @2awake / @seokjinstae / @jjeonguk / @brightjoon / @glowyhoseok / @breadloafksj / @acousticawake / @micdropjin / @runrnv / @dimples / @milkjk /  @flap-monster / @vlives / @taejimin / @je0n / @yoonseok / @jnghobi / @mellonjin / @namstiddy

*if i forgot anyone i’m sorry i suck just pls come yell at me

p.s. if anyone mutual or friend or anything wants my number, my email, my line id, whatsapp, my instagram or snapchat or my home address so you can come hang out with me and my dog feel free to ask!!! heck i’ll even redownload kkt if some of you don’t have imessage or line

[thestickchick]

It's not easy to get started in the martial arts as a grownup. If you're an adult who never trained, or someone who trained as a child but dropped martial arts training and want to pick it up again later in life, it's confusing and difficult to know how to start.

Where should I train? What style should I train? What's the "best" thing to learn for self defense? For women? For old people? Around injury? What style will help me get physically fit?

I wrote this guide so my answers to these questions are all in once place, as an attempt to help all of you grownups out there wanting to get started in the martial arts but have no idea how to begin.

You see, I was you once.

This is a long post, so grab a coffee or tea and settle in.

I hope this helps.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO TRAIN IN THE FIRST PLACE?

This is an important question only you can answer. This is the key to every consideration when choosing a school and a style.

The most common reasons people seek out martial arts training are for self defense and for physical fitness. These are not the only legitimate reasons to train, mind you, just the common ones.  

Other reasons might be to gain self confidence, to learn physical and mental discipline, to socialize and make friends (especially when you have just relocated to a new place), and to resume training after a long break. Or hey, you've always thought that martial artists were cool and wanted to be one.  Or it just looks like a heck of a lot of fun.

Arnis sticks, six foot long sticks, five foot long sticks, ropey whacksticks...

All of those are legitimate and fine reasons to train.

List your reasons for wanting to train in order of importance.  Literally, write it down.

Ask yourself if competition is important to you, or not, or if it's even something you want to avoid.  Many martial arts schools participate in tournaments, and some require it, and some don't. Include your answer to this question on your list.

Maybe you want to train with a child, together, as a family activity. Maybe you don't but you're fine with kids or teens being in the same class with adults. Or maybe you want to only train with other grownups, and not have any kids around. This is an important consideration, so put this on your list.

Write down your budget for training. The general costs of training vary widely depending on the school and locale and what's included in training, so I can't give you a great guide here. I can tell you, in my area of Texas, training typically runs about $50-90 USD for rec center programs (and may include uniforms, some equipment) and I've seen up to $200 USD for unlimited access at private martial arts schools. We'll get into fee schedules a little later, but make sure you have an idea of your budget before you move forward.

And finally, are you sure you want to train in the martial arts?

Do you understand what martial arts are all about? Here's how I define the term:

The difference in strategic choices and decisions is what makes one style different than another.  These strategic choices include (but aren't limited to):

Striking and kicking and grappling

Fighting with/against weapons empty handed, or armed

Aggressive action to inflict maximum damage or passive action to redirect or inflict as little harm as possible

There is one big "yeah but" style that often comes up, and that's tai chi.  Make no mistake, if taught as a martial art, it totally is a martial art. But it is possible to learn the style as an exercise pattern only and not see or apply the martial applications found there.

Yes, there are differences in how violence is though about and practiced, and sure, there's plenty of martial arts performance out there that isn't intended for fighting at all. Look up "XMA Weapons" for a great example of this. But make no mistake, it is all grounded in violence.

If you train, you'd better.

You can get many of the benefits of the martial arts in other activities, including sports, yoga, and Crossfit and other exercise programs.  So be sure that you're okay with violence before you start training in the martial arts.

Other than being comfortable with violence, don't overthink the whole "this style is better than that style" debates we get into.  When you are just getting started, style isn't terribly important, and there's no such time as wasted time in the martial arts.  No matter what you study, you will learn something useful.  You can gain experience and then change to something else that suits you better later, if you like.

Another differentiation is the training culture.  Is it derived from a specific culture (China, Japan, Korea, Philippines, Indonesia, Brasil, etc.) or not? Fans of a specific culture often end up training in that culture's martial arts systems.  If you have an affinity for one of those cultures, it may influence your choices.

WHAT'S AVAILABLE IN YOUR AREA?

When getting started, this is your most practical consideration. The truth is, you're most likely to stick with training that is convenient for you to attend. You do have a life - job, family, and other hobbies and commitments - that you have to manage as well as martial arts training. There's no point in making it hard on yourself when you're first starting out.

You should consider areas around home, around work, along your normal commute, and around any other place you spend a lot of time (such as a church, or a child's activity at a recreation center). Unless you live in a very rural area, I'd recommend searching within 10-15 minute commute of home, and 5-10 minute commute of work. If you do live in a rural area, you need to expand your search a bit as you tend to have longer commute times to train.

Using a tool like Google Maps, search for "martial arts" in your target areas, and make a list of all the schools you find and what they say they teach that meet the location criteria. Save their contact information in your list (address, phone, web address, and email address).

Wait, does that sign say... karate?

If they have it posted, also write down the cost(s) of training (some will, some won't). This will be an important consideration later.

Find out the class schedule of each school on your list. Note if they adult classes or not. This may be posted on the school's web site and social media sites like Facebook, but they may not be, and you'll have to contact them to find out more.

Note - many schools have early morning and mid-day classes. That's why a school near your work place might be ideal for you.

Eliminate any schools that don't fit into your schedule. That is, if Sensei Joe's Karate Emporium only meets on Wednesdays and Fridays, and that's when Junior has basketball half the year, that might not be the best choice for you starting out.

As an aside:  if you end up having to take months-long yearly breaks for things like sports seasons it is very difficult to make long-term progress. It's not impossible, but very difficult, and in my experience, people who have to do this end up not returning to train. So keep this in mind.

If you decided you wanted to only train with adults, eliminate any schools that do not have adults-only classes.

Be sure to check out the martial arts program at your local recreation center, community center, or YMCA/YWCA. These can be very good, high quality programs at a reasonable price. The big plus with these programs is that they often have child care available during class. This is very important if you have very small children at home.

One alternate way to find places to train is via sites like Meetup.com and on Craigslist. Small, less formal or new training groups often promote themselves this way, and their classes may be in public parks or in backyards or garages (and sometimes the fees for training are minimal or even free). This does not make them any less legitimate than schools in rec centers or in stand-alone facilities, but they tend to vary in quality.

One other idea - if you just can't find a schedule that suits you, and everything else checks out, inquire about private lessons.  They usually cost more but you'll train one-on-one and get a lot more work done in class than in a group setting.  Sometimes a couple of students can get together and buy private lessons instead of group classes.

A NOTE ABOUT ONLINE (VIRTUAL) DOJOS: I do not believe that an inexperienced person can train online-only and become proficient at the martial arts. So I can't give you advice there, as I think it's a waste of money for people new to the martial arts.

VISIT THE SCHOOLS

Time to visit each of the schools on your list.

You should attend one or two sessions of the actual class you are planning to attend. That is, don't go see the Little Tigers class for toddlers as it will not look anything like the class you'll be taking. You will also want to make an appointment to speak to the owner/instructor/leader of the group.  Sometimes this has to be at a different time than class time due to how schedules work.

If it takes the instructor a long time to get back to you via phone/email (24-48 hours) that may be a bad sign.

Note the condition of the place you'll train. Generally speaking, you have the right to expect cleanliness, orderliness, and for it to not smell like dirty feet. It may smell sweaty like a gym, but not acrid.  Equipment should be in good repair.

Make sure to go to the bathroom. It should be clean and well maintained.  HYGIENE is super important in martial arts training and the facilities should be promoting this.

Remember your list of why you want to train?  Now's the time to look for those things. Some things to look for include:

If it's for self defense, do they do or talk about things related to that topic? Many schools promote themselves as being about self defense but don't actually teach it.  Do they understand the legal constraints around self defense where they are located (for example - if they teach someone to kick a bad guy in the head after throwing them down, that's a huge red flag, as that's illegal in many jurisdictions).

If it's for physical fitness, do they do exercises as part of the class, and do the students/instructor look physically fit? Schools very serious about physical fitness will often have workout equipment in the school, such as bar bells or other tools. If you see that stuff around, that bodes very well for it being a school with an emphasis on physical fitness.

If it's for mental and physical discipline, does the class look organized and focused, or is everyone sort of doing their own things willy-nilly? Adult classes are often a little less formal than kids classes, but people should still be quiet when the instructor is teaching, not wandering around, and working on what they're supposed to be working on instead of chatting.

If you want to train weapons, do you see any in the room? The particular class you are attending may or may not be working with them that day, but will typically have some displayed around the room.

Do the students look bored, or are they engaged and having fun?

Can you picture yourself on the mat, doing what the people there are doing?

Sweet nunchuck skills? Check.

At your instructor meeting, tell the instructor what's important to you, and listen to their answers. Do they answer your questions directly, or do they avoid them? Are they honest about what they do, or do they try to claim they are all things to all people?  Do they listen to your questions, or do they talk over you?

I think these are big red flags:

If they claim "It's better to be tried by 12 than carried by 6" or claim that legalities don't matter in self defense. This person is clueless and will get you in trouble.

If they spend a lot of time putting down other schools or styles. It's not about the downsides of other styles, it's about the upsides of theirs. To me, that suggests a struggling school with an insecure instructor.

Lineage issues: not willing to name who taught him/her, claims to have been taught by a mysterious Asian master as a small child (the name of the master might not even be remembered), created own style after earning a black belt rank as a child.

Not being up front about training fees and charges

It is also a good idea to search the instructor's name online, and see what you find. Is there anything out there that bothers you?

Trust your gut. If the instructor doesn't seem "right", and you're not sure if you can like or trust that person, don't pay money for the privilege of spending time with the guy, no matter how objectively "good" he might be.  Trust is important in the martial arts, and if the instructor doesn't seem trustworthy, your training will suffer no matter what.

At the school visit/instructor meeting you should also get a full accounting of fees and charges. If there is a trial class offered, get the costs BEFORE that class if possible.  There is no point to a trial class if you can't afford it.

DO attend that trial class if the costs are reasonable to you.

FEES AND CHARGES

These may include:

Monthly training fee. There may or may not be a contract, and it may be for so many hours of training time a week/month. This may be tiered, offering more hours training for a higher fee schedule.  Make sure to read the entire contract, if there is one, and understand the fees and and penalties if you end up leaving early.

Testing and/or belt fees.  A belt fee, to cover the cost of the belt and rank certificate (if your school has belt ranks), is very common, often in the $20-30 USD range. Other testing fees vary widely, depending on the organization/school/style. It is not unusual for it to be a higher cost for higher ranks. This often includes the cost for board members to attend the test.

Mat fees.  This is often the drop-in fee for training outside of normal classes, during "open mat" sessions or charged to visitors to train.

Equipment fees: the cost of training/demo weapons, if needed, plus other school-wide equipment, like exercise equipment, striking bags, rolling dummies, etc.  Equipment (like bo, tai chi swords, etc.) is usually purchased through the school.

Uniform fees.  Required uniforms, such as gi/dobok and other things like shoes or protective equipment for sparring. Also for shirts/shorts, rash guards, etc.  Often this is purchased through the school like equipment.

Before you sign up, make sure you understand all fees, what they are used for, and when they are incurred.

Yeah, sometimes.

There is no rule of thumb as to what's "reasonable" or what isn't. A low-fee school might be the best one in town. Or it could be that you get what you pay for, and the highest fee school is the best. The most important consideration in terms of cost is that it fits your budget.

Now you have enough information to actually step on a mat.

PICK A SCHOOL

The school you should choose is the one with the fee schedule you can afford, offering classes convenient to you and your schedule, that is clean and hygienic, has an instructor that doesn't skeeve you out, and meets your initial reasons for training, whatever they are.

Now it's time for the hard part.

Stepping on the mat.

Yes, fellow grown-up, it's not easy to step on the mat the first time.  You feel out of your element, kinda shy, a little scared, and afraid that you'll look like an idiot.  You'll be afraid your personal hygiene isn't up to snuff. You're worried that you'll hurt someone, someone will hurt you, or worst of all, you'll hurt yourself.

That's all normal and some of those things - especially looking like an idiot - will be absolutely true.

Been here, done this. But not as well.

You're a newbie.  Newbies know nothing, are often pretty clumsy, and often look like idiots.

It's all right.

You've joined the fellowship of people who get bruises for funsies, the folks who get put into a painful position and grin and say, "Do that again!".  Every one of us, at one time, were newbies too. Train for a while, and you'll be the one helping the newer crop of newbies and assuring them that everything is all right.

Starting training for the first time at age 39 was the best decision I ever made. I had zero martial arts experience other than watching my kid yell "KIAAAA!" and break a board on tests. I started training to get more physically active after I realized I am gonna get old and it was gonna suck if I didn't change my ways. I went to the same school my daughter and husband were in when I started, in a martial arts style I do not train in today.  I've changed schools, cities, and styles, and have kept training since 2008.

I went from "maybe I'll try this punch-kicking thing as an alternate to gym" to weapon-oriented martial arts instructor (who knew, right? I certainly didn't!).  I belong to the tribe, and you will, too.

Welcome!

[kpopfanfictrash]

kpopfanfictrash’s FAQ

To assist in answering some re-occurring questions I receive. Please, please check this first before asking! Thank you <3  

Q: Do you have a ko-fi, or somewhere I can offer payment?

Rather than sending me money, I encourage you to donate to any of the charities listed here. Thank you in advance!

Q: Are you an active blog?

I am currently on hiatus. You can read my post here!

Q: Is there anywhere else I can read your fics?

I have a few fics cross-posted to my Wattpad account, which can be found here. Anything else is uploaded without my permission.

Q: Can I repost your writing onto X website?

Absolutely not. I do not allow reposting, translations or summaries of any kind. I will report for copyright infringement if found.

Q: Are you currently accepting requests? 

No, I am not.

Q: ‘This isn’t a request, but...’ or, ‘Even though you aren’t accepting requests right now, can I send you this idea’?

Please don’t. I know some writers are comfortable with having ideas sent to them when they’re not accepting, but I am not one of these writers. I tend to take on more than I can chew and it stresses me out, seeing these requests (because that’s what they are) come in!

Q: “Do you have a tag list?” or “Can I be added to the tag list?”

I do not do tag lists and do not plan on doing so anytime in the near future. Please follow my updates schedule, linked below, for information on updates.

Q: When is X series next being updated?

I have an Updates Schedule, located at the top of my blog. It is based on percentage written/edited/completed. I do not know specific days, but I will inform my readers ahead of time when I will be posting. Repeated asks for updates / comments for updates will be blocked.

Q: When will you next open requests?

I’m not sure. Oftentimes I do request games when I reach follower milestones - but I don’t forsee normal requests being open anytime soon. 

Q: Do you have any fic recommendations for X group, X idol, X scenario?

I have a fic recs blog located at @recsbykpopfanfictrash . Or you can browse the tag I used before creating that blog, located here. 

Q: What time zone are you in?

CT, or UTC -6

Q: Do you have a Masterlist?

My Masterlist is posted at the top of my blog

Q: Do you have any writing advice?

I have a tag called On Writing, where I tag my asks that contain writing advice

Q: I’ve been away. What did you recently update?

I have a post for Recent Updates at the top of my blog

Q: Can you tell me something about yourself?

I have an About Me located at the top of my blog!

Q: Do you promote or give shout-outs to X? 

Unfortunately, no. I do not feel comfortable promoting content where I have not read the writing/know what’s in it.  When someone asks me to help sell a ticket or promote an idea, I’m not comfortable doing so when I don’t know the person. Please do not push me on this matter.

Q: Are you still updating X series?

At the top of each Masterlist, there’s a status. If the fic is labeled as “ongoing,” I am still updating. If the fic is labeled as “on hiatus,” it is on hiatus. If the fic is labeled, “discontinued,” I no longer have plans of writing any more.

Q: Will you read / beta my fic?

Again, I’m sorry, but no. Beta-ing, even just reading and offering feedback takes a good amount of time. It’s already a struggle to keep up with my own writing and I truly have no time to assist with other stories. 

Q: Can you help me find this fic?

Unfortunately not. My blog is for my writing and my thoughts alone. I don’t appreciate my page/followers being used for things I didn’t choose to promote/endorse myself. Thank you for understanding. 

Q: What kinds of asks can I send you?

Please do not send me triggering topics, unnecessary drama (within the fandom or out), or overly intrusive questions. I ask that you use your judgement in deciding what is intrusive or not. I will not answer asks already answered in my FAQ/to which I do not have a response to.

Q: Can I send you edits to your fics?

If you notice a typo, grammatical error or something similar, please feel free to send to me in an ask. I may not get to it right away or respond (if you send on anon), but I appreciate the thought. Editorial feedback beyond this is not welcome and will be deleted and/or blocked. I am always seeking to grow in my craft but having an editorial relationship with every single one of my readers isn’t feasible. Thank you for understanding!

Q: How old do I need to be in order to reach out?

I request that only individuals 18+ contact me directly. I am an adult and am not comfortable conversing with minors on an internet platform. 

Q: Can I ask you for a sequel / more / etc.?

I do not take requests or commissions, so these asks will go unanswered.

[williamlwolf89]

Working From Home? 14 Sanity-Saving Tools (+ 35 Pro Tips)

Working from home is the dream for many.

For others, having to work from home is a nightmare — a paradigm shift brought on by a career change, personal tragedy, or the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic.

But dream or nightmare, a full-time switch or a temporary one, work-from-home jobs present unique challenges.

And to help you face those challenges, we’re going to teach you what you need to know. No fluff, no filler — just the necessities.

In This Guide: 9 Essentials for Your Home Office // 5 Apps You Need to Work Remotely // 35 Tips for Remote Workers (From Pros Who Do It Everyday)

Let’s dive in.

Note: There are quite a few referral links in this post, which means we’ll get a small commission if you use them to grab any of the tools or apps we discuss. However, there’s no extra cost to you. We appreciate your support.

5 Home Office Essentials (+ 4 to Consider)

There’s overlap between what you “need to do your job” in an office environment and what you need to do it remotely.

For example, you don’t need me to point out you need a chair. Or a Keurig, since you no longer swing by your favorite coffee shop on the way to work.

But there are items that matter more when you work from home, and they’re things that can make or break you as a remote worker.

Things like…

1. A Dedicated Workspace (Preferably One With a Door)

When you’re telecommuting for the first time, it’s tempting to pick up your laptop, plop down on the couch, and go about your workday.

But unless you’re living alone (and, honestly, even then), this is a mistake.

I should know — it’s precisely what I used to do. I was so happy to be working from home, I made our living room my home office.

“Why would I want to be hidden away on the other side of the house?” I asked my wife. “Being able to see you and the girls is one of the biggest perks of working from home.”

The problem?

It’s difficult to focus on work when you’re setting up shop in the same room your family members are using to dance to the “Frozen” soundtrack.

It’s a lesson I learned the hard way, but to achieve a healthy work-life balance, you have to separate your two worlds. And to do that, you have to be able to get away.

What Do We Recommend?

Pick a room with a door. A room you aren’t using for anything else is ideal, but commandeering a bedroom during the day will work too.

If a closed-off space for your home office isn’t an option, choose an area offering at least a modicum of privacy. This could be your dining room table, your kitchen counter, or the tiny nook under the stairs your kids haven’t yet discovered.

What’s the Cost?

Unless your significant other or roommate “makes you pay” in some way, claiming an area as your home office is free.

2. Headphones (Especially if There’s No Door)

If you used to work in a cubicle, or shared an office with a loud eater, you already know a good pair of headphones are worth their weight in gold.

Working remotely may mean you no longer have co-workers nearby to distract you, but it doesn’t mean you’re free from distractions.

A good headset will help keep outside noises at bay; plus, if you have a job where you’re on a lot of video conference calls, they’re a must-have item anyway.

What Do We Recommend?

Sony’s WH-1000XM3 ($278), the Bose Noise Cancelling Headphones 700 ($399), and Apple’s AirPods Pro ($249) are popular — but pricey — options, and they each have built-in microphones for making calls.

If you need something more budget-friendly, Anker’s Soundcore Life Q20 receives high marks from reviewers on Amazon. And, if needed, those old earbuds that came with your phone can work in a pinch.

What’s the Cost?

Anker’s Q20 costs $60. Those old earbuds are free (if you don’t count what you paid for the phone).

3. A Mac or Windows PC (But Not a Chromebook)

Most likely, you already have a laptop. Maybe you bought it yourself, or maybe it’s one issued to you by your employer.

But if you’re in the market for one, and you’re working remotely, take my advice:

Don’t buy a Chromebook (unless it’s your backup).

Three months before I started working at Smart Blogger, I bought a new laptop — a beautiful, shiny Google Pixelbook.

I loved it (and still do). But I wouldn’t have bought it had I known I was weeks away from a new career where I’d be working remotely.

Working from home meant using the Pixelbook for video conferencing, file sharing, and task management. For some apps and tools (Slack, Zoom), it was more than up for the challenge. For others (like GoToWebinar), it wasn’t.

Unless you have complete control over the tools your remote team members use to work together, having a Chromebook as your daily driver is a risk.

What Do We Recommend?

Stick with Windows or Mac for your primary work computer.

What’s the Cost?

The new Macbook Air and Microsoft Surface Laptop 3 both retail for $999. You can find Windows laptops from Dell, Lenovo, HP, and Acer for less (and more).

4. Strong Wi-Fi

When you work in a typical office, Internet connection is rarely a concern.

Small business or large, your employer has a plan that probably costs a small fortune. You go to work, do various online activities for 8 hours, and go home. Everything just works.

But when you work from home, you’re not using your employer’s wi-fi. You’re using yours.

Even if your employer reimburses you, it’s still your wi-fi service — and it probably doesn’t cost a small fortune. If you’re like most, you’re using the cheapest plan your ISP (Internet Service Provider) offers that lets you stream Hulu or Netflix without buffering.

That’s fine if you’re literally watching “Parks & Rec” for the seventh time. But when your job relies on you having fast and reliable Internet access, you may need more.

What Do We Recommend?

The speed and reliability of your wi-fi depends on a number of factors, but we’ll focus on three: your ISP plan, your modem, and your router.

Wi-Fi Plan:

Choose the best plan you can afford. If your employer reimburses you, get the highest plan they’ll allow. If all the plans suck, find a new ISP.

Modem:

If you rent your modem from your ISP, see if you’re eligible for an upgrade. Even better? Stop renting and buy a top-quality modem online (that’s what I did). You’ll get better performance, and you’ll save money in the long run.

Note: If you go this route, make sure you choose a modem that’s compatible with your ISP. Their website will be able to provide you a list.

Router:

To ensure your designated home office isn’t in a “dead zone,” a “mesh” wi-fi system can be a life saver. Personally, I opted for Google Nest WiFi in my home, but the Netgear Orbi is a solid option too. It gives you 4,500 square feet of coverage, and it received solid marks in Ry Crist’s CNET review.

What’s the Cost?

Wi-Fi plans vary.

Modems will cost anywhere from $50 to several hundred dollars. Mesh wi-fi systems come in all shapes and sizes, but the two we discussed — Netgear Orbi and Google Nest WiFi — cost $196 and $239, respectively.

5. A Second Monitor

If you’re used to having a dual-monitor setup at work, switching to a single monitor is one of the hardest adjustments when you’re working from home.

Now, if working remotely is your new normal, you may decide to buy a monitor (or two) for your home office. But in the meantime, there’s a chance you already have a second screen at your disposal:

Your iPad.

If you have a Mac using macOS Catalina, you can use “Sidecar” to turn your iPad into a second display. And if you have a Windows PC (or an older Mac), you can use the Duet Display app.

What Do We Recommend?

Working at home doesn’t mean having to live without dual monitors. If you know you’ll be working from home permanently, find a new monitor on Amazon that fits your budget. Or, if you already own an iPad, double its usefulness by turning it into a second display.

What’s the Cost?

Cheap monitors start around $100.

Sidecar is included if you’re using a compatible Mac. The Duet Display app costs $9.99.

An iPad, if you already own it, is free. Otherwise, new iPads start around $279.

Home Office Gear: 4 More to Consider

The previous five items were pretty universal. If you’re working from home, there’s an excellent chance they were relevant to you and your situation.

These next four are a bit more niche, so we’ll run through them quickly:

6. A Standing Desk

In an office environment, there are meetings to walk to, TPS reports to shred, and water coolers to gossip around.

You don’t have those when you’re working from home, which is why many remote employees find themselves sitting for too many hours during the day.

It’s little wonder then why, when providing their expert tips (see below) for this post, two different members of the Smart Blogger team recommended standing desks to our readers.

And a third, yours truly, used a standing desk to write the words you’re reading right now:

Standing desks aren’t for everyone. But, they might be for you. You can learn more about them and their history in this write-up from Art of Manliness.

7. Ergonomic Keyboard 8. Ergonomic (Vertical) Mouse 9. Blue-Light Blocking Glasses

Many remote workers find themselves spending more time — not less — in front of their computers.

Meetings are now virtual…

You’re no longer in a coworking space where you’re snagged by colleagues for “two-second” conversations when you’re on your way to the bathroom…

As a result, a majority of your workday, if not all of it, is now spent staring at your computer screen, typing away on your keyboard, and mousing away with your mouse.

The result?

Strained eyes and sore wrists.

Until I started working from home, I never experienced these ailments. But thankfully, after doing some research, I was able to find tools to help me combat them.

Switching to the Logitech MX Vertical Wireless Mouse solved my wrist pain. Blue Light Blocking Glasses from Swanwick helped my eye strain.

And if I decide to try an ergonomic keyword, Julia McCoy of Content Hacker has great things to say about the Kinesis Freestyle2.

If you find yourself struggling, give these a look.

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5 Apps & Software for Working Remotely

There are lots of apps out there for remote workers. That’s why most “how to work from home” guides inundate you with dozens and dozens of tools that all sound the same and, more or less, do the same things.

It can be overwhelming. And confusing.

So, let’s keep things simple…

The apps and software you need to work from home can be grouped into just five categories. We’ll start with the one you’re probably most familiar with:

1. Video Chat Software

Next to eliminating their daily commute, the thing most people enjoy about remote jobs is “no more meetings.”

Yeah, about that.

While physically sitting next to co-workers might be a thing of the past when you’re remote working, video conferencing is common for many work-at-home jobs.

Plus, let’s face it:

You need social interaction when you’re working from home. You need face-to-face time. Otherwise, eventually, you’ll go stir-crazy.

The video chat app you use — Zoom, Microsoft’s Skype for Business, Google Hangouts — will be decided by your employer or project manager.

Knowing how to use your particular video calls app can save your sanity (and save you from possible embarrassment), so here are tutorials for each:

Zoom Video Tutorials

Getting Started with Skype

Hangouts Help

What Do We Recommend?

We primarily use Zoom for video calls at Smart Blogger. You don’t have to create an account or download any software to use it, which makes it very user friendly. If you have sway over the video chat software your team uses, Zoom is a good choice.

What’s the Cost?

A personal Zoom account is free, and you can host a meeting with up to 100 participants for up to 40 minutes. If you need more, their paid plans start at $14.99 a month.

2. File Sharing Software

Sharing files with colleagues used to be easy. Just save everything to your company’s LAN (local area network) and, boom, you’re done.

But unless your employer has a VPN server, sharing files while you’re working from home is a bit trickier.

Thankfully, we all have access to cloud storage services like Google Drive, Dropbox, and OneDrive. A full-featured collaboration tool like Confluence from Atlassian can work, too, by letting you attach files to pages.

Just like with video chat software, the file sharing app your team uses will be decided by your employer. Here are guides to help you learn the ins and outs of each:

Google Drive cheat sheet

Dropbox video tutorials

OneDrive video training

Manage Files (Confluence)

What Do We Recommend?

We use Google Drive at Smart Blogger. It works on Windows, Mac, and ChromeOS (plus Android and iOS). And, if you use Gmail, you’re likely already familiar with it.

Just make sure you understand how permissions work in Google Drive before sharing folders with your colleagues.

What’s the Cost?

A free Google Drive account comes with your Gmail address, and with it you get you 15 GB of cloud storage. But for sharing files as a virtual team, you should look into one of Google’s paid options. You can get a G Suite Business account for $12 per user each month, and it comes with unlimited Google Drive storage.

3. Task & Project Management Software

You may already be familiar with Kanban boards, integrated master schedules, and the like. Your team may already be using them.

But now that you’re working remotely, you’ll likely be leaning on them more and more.

Project management apps like Asana, monday.com, and Trello help virtual teams stay on track. And even if your team isn’t, there’s no reason you can’t use them to manage your own tasks.

What Do We Recommend?

Start Blogger uses Asana to manage our projects. However, several team members, including yours truly, also use Trello to track individual tasks.

What’s the Cost?

Both Asana and Trello offer free plans, which work great if your team is small (or if you’re using them alone). If you have a larger team, or you need more features:

Asana Premium is $10.99 per user (per month)

Trello Business is $9.99 per user (per month)

monday.com’s plans start at $39 per month (for 5 users)

4. Chat App for Team Interaction

You might be on opposite sides of your city, state, or country (or even the world), but your virtual team still needs to shoot the breeze and interact with each other.

(And no, emailing the entire office isn’t an option. Don’t be that person.)

Chat apps like Slack, Microsoft Teams, and Google Hangouts Chat let you and your colleagues build comradery and stay engaged even though you’re miles apart.

In the remote worker’s toolkit, they’re a must-have tool. If you’ve never used them before, here are guides to help you get started:

Top 5 tips for getting started in Slack

Microsoft Teams video training

Get started with Hangouts Chat

What Do We Recommend?

Slack is the tool we use to interact with each other at Smart Blogger, and it’s difficult to imagine working from home without it.

What’s the Cost?

You can get a lot of mileage out of the free version of Slack. If you need to upgrade, paid plans start at $6.67 (and that’s for your entire team).

Microsoft Teams is included in Office 365. The Business Essentials plan is $5 per user each month, while the Business Premium plan is $12.50.

Google Hangouts Chat comes with a G Suite Business account. The Basic plan costs $6 per user each month.

5. Time Management App (to Help You Keep it All Straight)

Yeah, this one is a bit of a cheat.

You don’t have to be working from hope to benefit from a good time management tool.

But, trust me, when you’re working remotely, having one is vital.

Remote work can be deceptive. You think you’ll have all this extra time now that you’re no longer having to commute, do your hair, put on pants, what have you. Then five o’clock rolls around, and you’re suddenly wondering why you didn’t get more accomplished.

Try as you might, maintaining a healthy work-life balance is going to be tricky when you work at home. Laundry, personal errands, and playing with the kids will creep into your workday.

For increased productivity, and to keep all the balls you’re juggling from falling, an app like Todoist or Things can work wonders for your various to-do lists.

What Do We Recommend?

I’ve used Todoist for years. It’s easy to use, it’s packed with features, and it’s available on every major platform and device.

What’s the Cost?

The free version of Todoist gives you 80 projects and up to 5 people per project. If you need more, their paid plans start at only $3 per user each month.

If you don’t like the idea of recurring fees, and you’re an Apple user, give Things a look. The app has a one-time $9.99 fee for iPhone/Apple Watch, a one-time $19.99 fee for iPad, and a one-time $49.99 fee for Mac.

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How to Work From Home: 35 Tips for Remote Workers (From Pros Who Do It Everyday)

Now for the fun part.

I reached out to some of my colleagues at Smart Blogger and asked them for their best “work from home” tips.

Here’s what they had to say:

1. If you’re single, having a pet really helps with feeling isolated

At Smart Blogger, nearly everyone has a dog or cat to keep them company throughout the day. We also bond over stories about our pets.

2. Schedule time to hang out with friends

Whether it’s a phone call or getting together for happy hour, I always try to have at least two or three “connection points” scheduled each week. For me, it’s usually other entrepreneurs, because I feel like they are the only people who “get” me, but the point is to be a bit more proactive with your social life. There’s a lot less serendipitous hanging out when you’re working from home.

3. Get an air purifier

I recently added an air purifier to my office, and I was shocked at how much it helped with my allergies and even the overall smell of the house.

— Jon Morrow Founder & CEO WFH Experience: 15 Years

4. Set clear boundaries on your time, tasks, and calls

This is one of the first and fuzziest challenges for most people. When you’re working, you’re working, not doing household chores or cooking. Strive to start and end your day at the same times, with a little flex because you can. Tell family and friends you’ll get back to them after work.

5. Shut off audio notifications on everything — phone, social media and email

Put your phone in sleep mode. Use the controls built in to your devices to silence them during your work hours so you’re not distracted. This will also help train those insistent family members and friends who “only need two mintues” that turns into 20 to leave a message. Be prepared for complaints.

6. Set ‘focus time’ when you shut off every form of online communication to work

I coined the term “go dark” at Smart Blogger so I could have several uninterrupted hours to work. I closed out of all programs and set a smiling dark moon face for my “status” in Slack. Works like gangbusters.

7. Use a focus music app with the Pomodoro technique

I use a Focus@Will, a personalized focus music app, but there are many others. My “Pomodoro” sweet spot is 50 minutes, so I set the app with my choice of music for 50 minutes with my coffee and water on my desk and everything else shut off. I’ve trained myself that when the music is on all I can do is work. It’s actually quite enjoyable to have that deep focus time. With breaks of 15-20 minutes between sessions, I can do three or four highly productive sessions in a row.

8. Don’t try to squeeze in household tasks

Other than unavoidable visits from the pest control guy and delivery or repair folks, forget multi-tasking. The distraction from a household task as mundane as laundry will kill your concentration.

9. Get, or create, a standing desk

My first standing desk was stacked cardboard boxes and a hunk of wood. It will save your back, legs and other parts. I upgraded to a height adjustable desk. Don’t neglect ergonomics for even a short period.

10. Don’t eat at your desk

Build in those short breaks from the beginning and eat outside when you can.

11. Wear blue light blocking glasses

This recent upgrade has saved my eyes from feeling fried at the end of the day. Use monitor apps like f.lux that adjust the color balance of your monitor throughout the day.

— Marsha Stopa Senior Instructor WFH Experience: 15 Years

12. Start the day with three important goals

It’s a commonly given piece of advice but it works for me. I write (or type) three work goals under the heading “What would make today awesome?” (I write down some personal goals too.) Not only does it focus you during the day but it also helps you recognize a good day. Sometimes I’ll feel like I didn’t have a great day, but then see that I got my three things done and realize it was better than I thought. And that’s a good feeling to end on.

13. Link healthy habits to fixed points in your day

I wanted to hydrate better and found it fairly easy to start the day with a large glass of water. That became an automatic habit within a week or so. However, I found it harder to keep drinking water later in the day. Now I attach it to other “cues” during the day. For instance, I have another glass of water just before walking my dog Cooper in the afternoon.

14. Extend productive working sessions a little past the point of comfort

If you’ve been “in the zone” on a challenging task but feel yourself flagging, push yourself to do another 10 minutes. I find this gives me an extra boost of motivation/energy and I’m probably still more productive in the tail end of focus time than I would be starting from scratch later.

15. Get a standing desk. And a standing mat. (But sit sometimes too)

Standing desks are great but they’re tough on your feet and knees if you don’t have a proper mat to stand on. Also, standing all day is arguably not much better than sitting all day, so vary things a little. I try to do at least a couple of short sessions sitting at my desk on my laptop. Ergonomically it’s not great, but I don’t do it for hours on end and it breaks up the standing.

16. Vary your equipment

My first career was as a software developer and wrote so much code that I gave myself carpal tunnel syndrome before that was even really a thing. At one point I even had a special foot pedal that worked as a shift key to relieve the strain on my pinky finger! I’m not a coder any more but still suffer from time to time and not just from typing — sometimes end the day with a bad case of “trackpad hand” from too many hours using too limited a range of movement. So sometimes I’ll switch to a regular mouse for a couple of days to change the gestures just a little.

17. Get a gaming monitor (but not for gaming)

After years of using a regular 16:9 monitor I recently upgraded to an “ultrawide” 21:9. Being able to have two or even three full page apps open side-by-side has made a noticeable difference to my productivity.

— Glen Long Chief Operating Officer WFH Experience: 10 Years

18. Learn to recognize when your most productive time is

I work best first thing in the morning and then late at night. During the day there are enough distractions for me to easily lose focus, so unless there’s an urgent problem to solve, I give myself space to do other things mid day.

Experiment with times during the day to see when you feel more productive and energized to do your work. It may surprise you.

Discovering that you are unproductive during certain hours also allows you to give yourself a break at those times, instead of stressing out about “not getting enough done”.

Bonus: If you work with international clients, you may find that your “odd” hours might fit nicely with their “on” hours for communication and appointments. 🙂

— Tim Gary Tech Wizard WFH Experience: 15 Years

19. Stretch and move around

Sitting or even standing in roughly the same place for several hours a day is not something your body will be thanking you for. Sitting for long periods is rough on your back and your behind, while standing is tough on your legs. Take breaks to stretch and move around. Getting your muscles and joints moving in a variety of ways can help prevent repetitive motion injuries like carpal tunnel.

20. Set boundaries with friends and family

Your work is important. Your time is important. It can be difficult for friends and family to understand that just because you work from home, doesn’t mean you aren’t working.

Make sure you set very clear boundaries with your friends and family about what your work hours are and whether or not you can be available to them during that time. You can set rules on what types of interactions are allowable during your working hours and what types of interactions must remain outside of your working hours.

This will help keep your working hours calmer, less chaotic, and more focused.

21. Have a separate space for work

Whether that means an actual home office, a section of your dining room or just a separate workspace on your computer, have a space for work that is separate from the rest of your life.

A separate space makes it easier for your brain to transition from working time, to non-working time. I use separate internet browsers for work and my personal hobbies. This way once my work day is done, I close everything that involves work — tabs, apps, etc. and if I use my computer after work all work stuff is safely tucked away out of sight.

22. Learn a bit about lighting

I’m not a photographer or videographer so lighting isn’t something I ever gave much thought to, but if you are going to have meetings with clients that may involve video it will be in your best interest to learn the very basics about lighting.

If you’re on a video meeting and there is more light behind you than in front of you, you’re going to show up on camera as quite a shadowy figure. Making sure your lit properly helps people see you better and makes the experience more comfortable for everyone involved.

Unless you’re going for a mysterious look…

— Jenn Arman Business Operations Manager WFH Experience: 10 Years

23. Create separate user profiles for your internet browser

If you use the same laptop/computer for both work and rummaging through the Internet on your offtime, you should create separate user profiles on your browser — especially if you, like me, tend to leave a lot of tabs open.

I have a separate profile for private use, for Smart Blogger tasks and for working on my own blog. When I need to start work, I open my Smarty Blogger browser, and it automatically opens the pages I need on a daily basis. Every other page that I frequently use, but don’t need all the time is bookmarked, so they’re only a click away.

24. Get out and catch some sun

When you work from home, you need to remind yourself to get out every now and again to catch some vitamin D. I had a period of a few months where I was spending all daylight hours inside, and frankly, it’s depressing. Take a break to go out for a short walk. It honestly helps keep you sane.

25. Have a routine, but be flexible

When you work from home, it can be harder to beat the procrastination monster. Having a steady routine can help you with this though.

Set a time at which you start each day. If you have a number of recurring tasks, tackle them in the same order. This will help prevent you from procrastinating on which task to start first.

On the other hand, while it’s good to have a routine, don’t forget that flexibility is one of the main perks of the job. You don’t have to be overly rigid. It’s okay to have a day where you start a little later, or you move one of your tasks to the end of the day, because you’re just not in the mood for it.

— Robert van Tongeren Instructor WFH Experience: 6 Years

26. Take mental breaks

Take a break every hour or so to disengage from your work and allow your brain to have a little playtime. Stick your earbuds in, go outside for 5-10 mins, breath, take in the surroundings and allow your mind to think of anything but your work tasks. Think of it as like taking a break between sets in a workout. I often find problems easier to solve, solutions will pop into my head after having a mental break.

27. Have a mobility/stretching routine

Sitting in the same position for hours can wreak havoc on your body, a good place to start is with a book called Deskbound: Standing up to a Sitting World by Kelly Starrett.

28. Level up your skills

Always look how you can improve and add more value for your clients. Ask yourself: How can I be better at my job, what skills do I need to learn or improve? How can I raise myself to a higher level?

29. Stay balanced

Have activities outside of work that you can constantly get better at and that are a natural expression of who you are. This helps keep you balanced. If I’m always working and serving others I end up feeling like a robot who has no time for myself.

— Curt Levey Customer Support Specialist WFH Experience: 4 Years

30. Communicate constantly to friends & family about your work schedule

Working remotely means that your schedule is often more flexible than your friends who work in an office — or are retired. I had to learn to set very clear boundaries: just because I’m at home in front of a computer, that doesn’t mean I can just pick up to go to a lunch date or attend a rehearsal at 2 in the afternoon.

Now that I’ve been working remotely for 10 years, most of my friends get it. But I still have to be clear about it from time to time, and especially when I’m visiting friends or family.

— Felicity Fields Operations Manager WFH Experience: 6 Years

31. Prioritize YOU time on your calendar

It’s so easy to let your calendar get jammed packed and even when you get up from your desk “at the end of the day”, it’s so easy to get sucked back into your workspace — because it’s just right there! So, in order to ensure that you leave time for yourself, to stretch, go for a walk, meditate or anything else that nurtures YOU, it’s critical to prioritize yourself by putting your self-care on your calendar before the calendar gets booked up.

32. Be sure to meal prep

Secondarily, because the above is true, and the community lunchroom isn’t a thing, it’s super easy to neglect eating healthy and it’s super simple to just ‘grab a bite’ which becomes anything handy, VS anything healthy. I mean the kitchen is just right there, right?! So making sure you meal-prep will enable you to ‘grab a bite’ in between all those meetings, but it will be a healthy bite, and your body and energy level will thank you. Besides, it’s easy to let the pounds creep up when you’re wearing yoga pants instead of ‘work clothes’ so it’s a nice way to treat yourself (and your waistline!) nicely. 🙂

— Patricia Sweeney Marketing Wizard WFH Experience: 14 Years

33. Enjoy the days you can work in pajamas, but don’t overuse them

Working in your pjs is one of the great perks of working from home, but it shouldn’t be your go to outfit. Put some time in your morning routine to get yourself prepared for “the office”. It will help you be more productive on your projects and improve your mood by setting the stage for a good day.

34. Make your home office somewhere you enjoy spending time

When you work in a standard office you’re often encouraged to personalize the space so you can feel comfortable. Do the same for your home office. Don’t let it get too cluttered. Make sure you have plenty of light. Splurge on a heater or ergonomic desk setup. Plants, diffusers, pictures, and music will keep you more energized in your workspace.

— Laurie Pillman Executive Assistant to the CEO WFH Experience: 5 Years

And here’s one from me:

35. Make sure you check in (and check out)

The thing I struggle with most as a remote worker is separating “work life” from “home life.” Even with a dedicated office space, it’s easy for my two worlds to blend.

What’s helped me is visualizing one of those old-school “time clocks” people used back in the day.

“Clock in” and it’s work time. I listen to Jon’s latest podcast episode, edit a draft from one of our writers, send an outreach email, etc.

“Clock out” and I focus on my personal life. I’ll look at my daughter’s homework, go over healthcare paperwork with my wife, do the dishes, etc.

Whichever world I’m in, I try to give it my complete and undivided attention.

— Kevin J. Duncan Editor-in-Chief WFH Experience: 1 Amazing Year

Back to Top

I Love Working From Home. How About You?

We’re the lucky ones, you know.

No long commute? Getting to set our own schedules? Working mere feet away from our loved ones? It’s a blessing, a gift from God.

Even though it’s easy to get lost in deadlines, drafts to edit, and emails to read, I pray I never forget how fortunate I am to be doing what I do.

Savor these moments. Wrap your arms around them. Because it doesn’t matter if you’re a freelancer getting paid to write, an independent contractor, a data entry specialist, or a part-time customer service representative for a call center, working from home is a special experience. You’re getting to do what many people dream about doing.

Let me know if this guide was helpful by leaving a comment below. And, if there’s a tool or tip we missed, please don’t hesitate to share it.

Stay safe out there, folks.

About the Author: When he’s not busy telling waitresses, baristas, and anyone else who crosses his path that Jon Morrow once said he was in the top 1% of bloggers, Kevin J. Duncan is Smart Blogger’s Editor in Chief.

The post Working From Home? 14 Sanity-Saving Tools (+ 35 Pro Tips) appeared first on Smart Blogger.

from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/working-from-home/

[o0o-chibaken-o0o]

Can you please please please recommend a story where Draco and Harry get together and raise Teddy together or Teddy brings them together? Please and thank you!😭

@dracoandredemption​ said: Can u rec anything with drarry raising the kids especially Scorpius as a toddler?

Anonymous said: do you have any drarry fics where Harry and Draco have to raise Teddy, preferably they become the main guardians but they could still share guardianship with andromeda! or any fics where Draco and Harry raise children would do as well. I just want parent Harry and Draco god dang it!

Anonymous said: Hi!!! I love your blog!! And I was wondering if you have any Fics were Draco and Harry raise teddy together?

Anonymous said: hi there!!! you’re blog is my favorite ever so thank you for blessing us with your amazing mess. I was wondering if you had some recs from drarry raising teddy and/or scorpius? I looked through your tags but I could have missed it so I really apologize f that’s the case! Again thank you sm for everything you write & share! xx

Anonymous said: do you know any drarry fics where teddy is Harry’s son? like he adopted him!

OKAY WOW I am so sorry that I’ve been too busy to make rec lists lately! My asks have really piled up, as you can see from the fact that I have SIX WHOLE ASKS of people wanting Drarry raising Teddy and/or Scorpius! Luckily, I have NINETEEN WHOLE FICS for you to read

Drarry Raising Teddy and/or Scorpius Rec List

Teddy:

The Stars Above Us by 606, create_serenity (19.5K)- It started as an innocent day out taking Teddy to visit the local observatory. Somehow it became so much more.Omigosh this fic is AMAZING because I LOVE STARS AND Draco works at a freaking Planetarium!!!! Is that not the best job Draco’s ever had??? And of course Teddy falls madly in admiration with the nice man who explains everything to him and YEAH, THIS IS A MUST READ FOR SURE!

It Was We Who Were the Cliché (But We Carried On Anyway) by ignatiustrout (31K)- When the reconciled Black sisters go on holiday together, Andromeda entrusts Draco, rather than Harry, with five year old Teddy Lupin for three weeks. Harry is convinced she made the wrong choice, and he decides the way to fix this is simply to keep turning up at the manor and refusing to leave Draco alone.You guys will absolutely adore this fic. It’s got a lot of Teddy, but also a lot of DRACO AND HARRY BEING COMPETITIVE!!!! Before they finally realize maybe it doesn’t have to be a competition after all ;) 

Against All Odds by momatu (54K)- Beauxbatons is hosting the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe, and Harry has promised to enroll Teddy as his birthday present. Meanwhile, Draco is stuck in his office, putting together the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe during, when he should be enjoying summer holidays.GUYS I love this fic so much. Yes, there’s Teddy and quidditch, but THE ROMANCE IS JUST PERFECT. It’s so sweet!!! And they’re in France! What’s not to love? 

The White Dragon by @sassy-cissa​ (20K)- Even knights in shining armour need white dragons to save them occasionally.Teddy has trouble after he moves in with Harry when Andromeda dies. Draco is his very understanding child psychologist. This fic will give you all the feels and omg it is just so lovely and moving!!

Obliviation by Cheryl Dyson (27K)- When Harry decides to quit Auror Training in order to care for young Teddy over the summer, he has quite enough to worry about without Pansy Parkinson dumping a mute Draco Malfoy on his doorstep.This one is adorable!! For some reason I have a thing for mute!Draco, I have no idea why. Teddy is pretty young in this one if I remember correctly!

Where Your Heart is Set by hazel_wand (13.5K)- Draco comes home from school to find that his mother has decided to rebuild their family to include Andromeda, Teddy … and Harry Potter.This one isn’t exactly Drarry raising Teddy. But it’s absolutely a family fic and the writing is so good and Teddy features a lot! And you didn’t hear it from me, but they may take teddy to the zoo together ;)

A Second Chance at First Love by taradiane (28K)- “… I just wanted you to know that you weren’t the only one who’d had a shitty existence for a time. Maybe I hated that you thought I was someone I wasn’t. Maybe … maybe I hated that I thought you were someone you weren’t, but never realised it until Voldemort gave me those glimpses of your life. Our experiences, they weren’t so different after all.”I have a real thing for Healer!Draco, especially when he’s saving my darling Teddy’s life and reconnecting with his ex-boyfriend Harry Potter ;) Also there’s Christmas! 

Scorpius:

The Little Marauders Nursery and Day Care by @digtheshipper (10K)- Harry Potter is the proud owner of The Little Marauders Nursery and Day Care and his favourite student is Scorpius Malfoy. Scorpius’s dad might be okay, too.Okay I have a VERY soft spot for this fic because I used to work at a nursery. And this is just PERFECT and I love every word of it and HARRY AND THE OTHER TEACHERS MAKE UP NICKNAMES FOR THE PARENTS AND DRACO IS ROCK STAR, COME ON!!!!! I died of adorable fluffing cuteness.

Little Talks by @femmequixotic and @noeeon​ (11.5)- Draco’s been shagging the Head Auror for months now, and he’s sure it’s just a fling. Until Harry asks him to a Quidditch match, that is, and things go horribly wrong.This isn’t exactly a raising Scorpius fic, but the adorableness of the parts with Scorp and the fact that the rest of the fic is REALLY FUCKING HOT (and sweet!) make it totally 100% worth reading (at least twice)!

Un Noël très parisien by @femmequixotic and @noeeon​ (14.5K)- When Draco crossed paths with Auror Potter at a political function in Paris, he was not expecting their former animosity to change into something rather more intriguing. But he could be certain their casual flirtation would not last more than the night, couldn't he?More adorable Scorpius from Femme and Noe! He doesn’t make his appearance until a bit later in the fic, but once he does the schmoopy cuteness will just make you clutch your heart and wish it were December already

Home Cafe by Eleana_Lee (12.5K)- An Auror mission brought Harry to the cafe where he met the two blondes who shall steal his heart, and make the place his ‘home’YO GUYS you know by now how much I love coffeeshop AUs, right? Well THIS is a coffeeshop fic WITH Scorpius hanging around at the cafe and it is ADORABLE AS FUCK. OKAY?? 

The Trials of a Malfoy Manchild by Nattish (18.5K)- Draco’s bachelor lifestyle is interrupted when Scorpius is sent to live with him in his London flat. He’s no good at being a dad, but starts to cope with advice from his son’s new schoolteacher – Harry Potter – who is, frankly, not just good with his books.Ooooh!!! This fic! Harry teaches Draco how to be a good Dad and there’s camping! And Harry being a great teacher! and Smut!

Love in Slow Motion by orphan_account (11.5K)- Harry flushed. “I’d like to do that again.”Draco threw his head back and laughed. “Would you, now?”Blinking up, Harry reached up with a shaking hand and brushed a bit of Draco’s blonde fringe away from his forehead. “Yeah. I would. Unless you’ve got someone better to get home to.”“Are you joking? Potter, this is my fifteen year old fantasy come to life. But better. So much fucking better.”Harry’s eyebrows went up. “Fifteen?”“Well, it was more post-Quidditch hate-sex. But close enough.”Another fic in which Harry is Scoprius’s teacher at a muggle school. In this one, Scorpius is a squib and he is THE MOST PRECIOUS BOY WHOM I WANT TO PROTECT WITH MY LIFE. Also featuring Wolfstar! 

The Ties that Bind by phoenix_writing (61K)- Upon Andromeda’s death, Harry and Draco are given custody of Teddy. Their lives will never be the same again.Sooo I actually haven’t gotten around to reading this one yet (*sheepish*), but I’ve seen it recced by people I trust, and I suspect I would be remiss to leave it off this list! The summary looks PERFECT. 

Teddy and Scorpius:

Muggle Beasts and Where to Find Them by ashindk (8K)- Two single fathers choose the same day to take their children on an outing.AAAH THEY MEET AT A ZOO!!! Harry and Draco are taking their respective kids on a day out at the zoo and they find each other and it’s cute and funny and sweet and FLUFFY and you’ll love it!

The Sun Will Come Out by momatu (36.5K)- Six-year-old Scorpius Malfoy needs a tutor. Several witches and wizards with the best credentials and impeccable background have been hired–then rapidly fired. Enter Harry Potter, who immediately hits it off with Scorpius. It takes a while longer for the Lord of the Manor to come around.Brilliant! I love fics in which one of them bonds with the other’s kid before Harry and Draco can begin to trust each other again (here it’s Harry and Scorpius). Scorpius is an absolutely adorable little boy in this, and teenage Teddy is REALLY SWEET and nice to his cousin and it’s fabulous. 

Like a Real Family by Queenie_Mab (11K)- Harry thought he had all he wanted in life, raising Teddy and being the parent he’s always wanted to be, until he experiences what life with a partner could be like. Now if only Draco wasn’t straight.This fic starts out with Harry, Draco, Teddy, and Scorp already being a happy family… except Harry thinks Draco’s straight (Oh, Harry.) For all you flangst lovers out there ;) 

Our Ordinary Days by lomonaaeren (9K)- Two men, both fathers of sons, meet in a bookshop, and the rest is the kind of history that doesn’t make history. I love when Harry and Draco’s kids meet and hit it off and Drarry have no choice but to hang out all the time and then KISS. Also when Harry helps Draco win custody battles ;D 

“Merlin, FINE. You Can Be Harry Potter for Halloween” by 606 (2.5K)- That one where Draco and Scorpius run into Harry Potter (rather literally) in a London convenience store and their Halloween takes an odd turn.HALLOWEEN FLUFF