#really wish i could draw more but. its getting late and i have work tomorrow i need to go sleep lol

[tianhai03]

a leon painting study that turned into a whole page of doodles and notes (ashley and dante are also here)

close up for the painting + the ref below

i really like how this turned out :)

[seeminglydark]

Idk if this means anything to you but I'm a comic artist who's had a hard time doing art for a few years. The first four was because of life hardship and lack of time/chronic pain, but now lately I've had time but a mental block. I'm creeping up on 30 and felt bad about myself for "missing out" on my opportunity to be a comic artist. It was really validating to see you post about being 41 (correct me if I'm wrong) especially since you have such wonderful comics that I've been following for a while now. It makes me feel less like I'm wasting my time putting my things in order when I "should" be drawing.

Hopefully this doesn't come across as offensive or anything. It was just comforting and validating. Anyway, big fan! Love your characters a whole lot and hope you have a good day!

Dear Anon

I am 41 years old. I have wanted to make comics my entire life. before my dad got sick, and my childhood kinda fell apart, all i did was draw. after that, i used the stories in my head to cope. life moved on. i was convinced not to accept a partial scholarship to an art school in California. life got hard. i worked at a hotel, and after i escaped an abusive relationship at 22 i hitchhiked/bused far far away to start over. i tried to make comics again, but i had to survive, and so i got another job doing the only thing i knew how to do, hotels. and i worked. and worked. and life got harder and times got heavier and i didn't get time to draw and i worked double hours, 15 to 17 hours a day. and i went four years without drawing a single thing.

i kept working myself into the ground. i was 29 now. i picked up a pen again and drew a red haired boy. he had a hard life and no love and no friends. his problems were on the outside, for everyone to see. he ran away but his problems went with him.

i was 32. surely i was too old now. my time to be an artist was gone. i had no school. no hope. i was so far behind the younger gen i saw online. i cried. all the time. i wrote stories in my email drafts while i worked shifts. i stayed up late trying to learn how to draw again. i cried some more. the boy grew. i called him Fiach. worthy. a raven. later i renamed him Avery. he was like a bird, he had wings, he was my hope. i started writing some friends for him. the people i wished i had around me.

i started finding time and space. i got a new job, something where i was lucky enough to set my own hours. for the first time i had a partner who believed in me. things were hard. but i was drawing now. and that helped.

i went on a road trip and i started drawing pages of an unnamed story on 6 by 8 paper in a sketchbook. i drew 20 of them. 'what could i call this?' i thought. Nothing Seems as Dark...no says my partner. Seemingly Dark. he made me a logo. i was 35. i bought an ipad, i cant do this on paper, its too much story i have too much to say. so i learned how to draw digitally by tracing my own trad art pages.

I spoke to my dad for the last time on June 17th, fathers day that year. he said 'you're good. i'm proud. and you're gonna do amazing things. none of this is your fault. and we will speak again soon.' i didn't know id never hear his voice again. he died a week later.

i turned 36. i kept trying. i'm old, i don't understand the internet. how can i share this?

i stumbled across Lore Olympus. i was introduced to webcomics. id read comics online before but the thought never occurred to me. i opened an account on Tapas. and then i stared at it. what if no one likes it. what if its bad. my art isn't good. i should wait til i'm better. but will i ever really be better? or will i always believe that tomorrow is better? do it now. if even one person gets something out of this story, this story about a boy who is you, a boy who looking for hope, a boy who might make it, then that is enough isn't it.

June 17th 2018 i launched Seemingly Dark.

SD's five year anniversary is in a week. 0ver 700 pages. leaps and bounds in progress with my skills. a printed comic under my belt as of monday. i was always a storyteller. but i was always an artist too.

I am 41 years old, dear anon. I did not truly embark on this journey til i was 35. life got in the way. even now, chronic illness gets in the way. but its worth it. its never ever too late. i believe in you the way my dad believed in me. i reset my life again and again. but I was always an artist. and if thats who you are, and who you want to be, even if things dont go the way you wished they could, you're an artist too.

im 41 years old. i speak about my age, even though i often feel too old to belong in spaces, cuz really, in this case age is just a number. take care of yourself. do what you need to do. and little by little, when your able, carve out your space until it becomes more of a habit. sometimes i think about all the years i lost not drawing or creating. but there's a lot of factors that make me believe had i made my story then, it wouldn't be the story it is now, i needed to live a bit. i needed to find myself. i know this was long, but i just wanted you to see i also had to put my life in order, and getting notes like this reminds me it wasnt at all a waste. im glad i could offer you some comfort. thats honestly the best compliment i could ever receive.

TL;dR I was 35 when i sat down and seriously started making comics, because life always got in the way and so did my confidence. i always feared being too old. im 41 now, still going strong.

[sleepy-vix]

journal/braindump 26/3/24

i hope life gets better soon. school is so miserable and weird and i just constantly feel like my physical shape is blurred and i'm but a a faceless entity drifting through the crowded and sweaty halls. when i speak to people it feels like i have to physically force myself to and i'm always so conscious of the fact that i would really love it if i were alone and not speaking to anybody at all.

i don't feel confident in myself and i feel like this year has passed by way too fast and i feel like just attempting to live feels like a bunch of cold sand is piled in my hands, and like sand does, it slips easily through my fingers and all i can do is watch. i feel so stupid and so naive all the damn time

for a while i had believed that everything would be okay, and then for a while after that i believed that i should kill myself. i'm okay now, i still feel very unsettled and it's like i'm not really me but i feel fine enough to function and i feel fine enough to live and wish to keep on living

i wish to keep on living

tomorrow i will wake up early and i will make myself coffee and i will sit down and read (i've had reading block for 2 days- which seems short but its annoying for me bc i really really want to read but i feel too restless and distracted to). i'll try to be nice to myself and protect my peace really hard and go on walks or something

i find that watching youtube videos where people just sit and talk, or rearrange their house and books, is really calming to me. i can't wait to just sit in front of the tv with a cup of matcha and a box of chocolates and just watching people talk, or watch all the movies ive been meaning to watch for sooo long

autumn is rolling around, and i'm infinitely greatful that it is because i always feel so inspired during this season. autumn makes me want to read, it makes me want to watch more films and eat more food and drink warm drinks that make me feel okay inside.

i also hope to pick up journalling again, but i'm not sure if i will because i don't have my own printer for images and idk what to journal but i have recently tried to just draw pictures- ive recently written journal pages on what i want to read, and also an "about me" page, and hand drew pictures. it's nice, but it doesn't give the same effect as full out journalling (with stickers, images, tape, etc... sigh.). i hope i journal more this holiday nonetheless.

i also hope to read without feeling so much pressure. i usually have no problem with reading whatever i want to read, as i like to think of myself as somebody who isnt easily influenced by other people's views (eg. if someone told me i have to read a certain book, i will consider it but i wont read it unless i want to) , but lately i've been thinking of all the books i want to read this holiday (for me i have autumn break in one week- and autumn break lasts for 2 weeks) and as u can imagine, it is very stressful bc ive somehow fallen into the mindset that i must read ALL of those books before next term or else.

fyi the books comprise of

- the complete collection of jane austen

- the complete collection of sherlock holmes

- the poppy war

- the iliad

- hamlet

- the metamorphosis

soo yeah... especially the first two points are stressing me out haha... im starting the poppy war now but im a little nervous bc ppl keep saying that its VERY gory??? and i usually dont care abt such things but lately my nerves and emotions have been such a wreck that i dont trust myself to read it in a calm manner

i'll try to break free of this toxic reader mindset tho! it would be nice if i could talk to people abt books, so it feels like im engaging with my hobby while not actually having to do the hobby, but nobody ik irl will want to talk abt books as i do

MAN i so badly want to rant abt booktok (ok actually i wont expand on this bc its a very sore point for me in the sense that i might get worked up over it and then feel shit afterwards for displaying sm emotion)

anywaysss next topic

ummm i get my maths result back on thursday and im so fucking scared bc i know i messed up bad for a few questions but im not sure if it was enough to drop me down to a b... idk i REALLY REALLY WANT AN A. like istg my whole self esteem for until the next exams roll around is goijg to be based off my maths result.. fuck im so emotionally immature its laughable

ummm also i have literature class tmr and i love lit class but we have to watch fucking "shes the man" and im sorry but i hate that movie so so much (ive never watched it before but we watched half of it last lesson and it was soo annoying). ughh why is my eng teacher making us watch this 😭😭

also my eng teacher is very blunt and therefore very interesting to talk to so ive been wanting to ask him abt books hes read lately but i CANT bc we have to watch thats tupid fucking movie and also he has to mark papers :( but also like hes the only intellectually stimulating person ik irl so what am i meant to do with all of my buzzing book thoughts ughh (rhetorical question. pls dont answer) :(

hmm what else is there to say

oh yeah last night i had a dream tjat i got a B+ for english and that was... it was like a nightmare im not even kidding. it was such a vivid dream too- everybody else got an A meanwhile i got a B+ (very close to an A) and i was just absolutely shocked and i desperately begged my teacher to give me some extra credit work so i can bump it up to an A-... yeah...

oh but also back to me wanting to have a better life- i think i'll take myself to the thrift more and go out with my friend (yes, singular. theres only one friend that i like hanging out with outside of school 💀) atleast once this holiday... thats what teen girls my age do, right??? haha...

also i want to watch ladybird and the perks of being a wallflower and rewatch little women and dead poets society !

i also might reread solitaire but aghh that makes me stressed out abt reading again... fuck. maybe i should just take a break from reading omfg

i cant wait to wake up early tomorrow and drink coffee though! :)

also i will make more spotify playlists (it makes me rlly happy to) and MAYBE even try cooking????????????? man idfk im desperate okay? feeling suicidal is not fun and i dont want to feel like that again this year. i cant afford thay bc im meant to be an academic weapon :( (lol who am i kidding? im more like an academic victim)

also maybe i will just text my friends more in general. it stresses me out and makes me feel icky but the other day, i had a nice and fun and lighthearted texting convo with one of my class friends and it made me realise that i should probably text people more ...

lol

anyways i think thats all? i think ive gotten everything off my chest for now. i liked doing this actually. maybe i'll do it more often idk 💀💀

hope u guys have a good day 🙏 i dont actually expect anyone to read this but if you did, i hope you have a good day TIMES TWO!

no refunds :}

[inventors-fair]

Valiant Efforts: Battle Runners-Up ~

Our runners-up this week are @grornt, @hypexion, and @real-aspen-hours!

@grornt — Tovolar's Moonlight Assault / Harvesttide Exultation

I think this card is balanced, well-designed, flavorful, resonant, and pretty...normal! That's a good thing when you're designing cards that are supposed to be good. I did want to swing for the fences with the winners this week—as much as I could without destroying the stadium. This really is a well-designed removal suite for green and feels like it's doing everything that you can do right in the color, though, so what's to complain about?

Maybe the fact that is DOES do so much stuff is reason for concern, but green has had its heyday of advantages, and this card probably isn't going to break any formats like its pre/mid-2020s ilk. Creatures, life, card draw, and buffs isn't too bad...is it? I'm kidding, this all fits in for both how much a battle can matter when you need it to be a bit of everything, AND how easily a battle can be flavored on a world we already know with a story we're familiar with. Tovolar makes the Harvesttide a little crazy, and what more can we ask for than a witchy, wolfy get-together. Personally, I'd ask for Tovolar's digits. His wolfy, wolfy digits.

@hypexion — Attack on Eiganjo

Once more, everything about this battle makes sense. You want to find the best ways to deal damage to get the advantages that you need. The more that you penetrate the defenses, the stronger you can get. You picked a line, and stuck with it, and I'm right there with you. Did multiple people come up with the concept for the assault supertype? I missed conversations in the workshop if so. Regardless, that name makes sense and I'm glad that folks went with it. The different directions are quite interesting as well!

I wish there was an easier way for this particular scenario to be made manifest. Can you ping the battle over and over until you have eight power on board? Perhaps! Is getting two 2/2 creatures worth it, too? If they have first strike, I'd say so. The rewards for battling could perhaps be more fleshed out, and/or there could be a reward for winning the battle, if such a thing is feasible, but that hardly matters. I get what this card does and what it wants the game state to look like. It's complicated once we get there and I'd love to see the decision-making process of someone having to deal with/against this in combat.

@real-aspen-hours — Loot the Storehouses!

Another assault! Gotta love it, don't you. This is actually quite similar to the Granary card, or at least it would seem so at first glance. And then the actual ability and implied flavor happens, and we're in a different world. Probably literally! The card advantage is different, which is fine, and it's more focused on that than it is a more general reward feeling. I think what I really like here is the utilization of the second main phase, or at least how this card wants you to think about it. The benefits of battle, if you will.

I think "You may play those cards this turn" would be better than the whole "until your next end step" clause, just because of clarity, but that doesn't matter too much. Ooh, or what if you could only play them on a turn that Loot the Storehouses was attacked? There are plenty of options and there's not one right answer. Considering that card advantage is pretty easy to understand, my curiosity wants me to ask where you imagined this card taking place, y'know? What world, which storehouses, etc. It could be anywhere and that's all fine, but as it stands, I do want to thank everyone who submitted a single-faced battle this contest for all the cool things that one can do with them. Super proud.

So, I'll post about this in the Discord, but I'm going to be away from my computer most of the day. Again. Life is a long series of doing thangs. Commentary will either be up late tonight, or sometime during the day tomorrow. I'll be working as hard as I can, though!

@abelzumi

[x-ceirios-x]

letters: emma and jensen

a handful of letters/fire messages between jensen ashfair and his friend emma carstairs. takes place between the end of city of glass and the beginning of city of lost souls

Emma,

Sorry I haven’t been answering your letters. Things here are still crazy. I feel terrible all the time. Mom’s trying her best to cheer me up, but I can see she’s upset too. I slept in her bed with her the other day—I think it made us both feel better. 

Thanks for checking in. 

- Jensen

— —

Emma,

Mom says she thinks its a good thing for me to talk to you some more. I want to, I guess I don’t know what all to say. Life’s not too interesting right now, just a lot of Rowan and Dad fighting. Alec’s on vacation with Magnus which is super cool, I wish I was on vacation. Maybe one day, I can come visit you in LA! That would be fun, right?

I’m gonna go back to reading my comic books now. It’s good to hear from you. Mom says thank you, too. 

- Jensen

— —

Em,

How are things in LA? I hope they’re good. Thanks for asking about the comics. I’ve been reading this Spiderman series that I think is super cool! I really like that Spiderman could be anybody behind the mask. Maybe I could be spiderman one day. That sounds lame. Ignore that. 

I’m still missing Max but I had dinner with Jace and Clary and Izzy last night. I think Rowan was at Simon’s house. They seem to spend a lot of time with him lately, which is funny, because I think he’s dating Izzy. They hang out a lot, though, and I think Rowan has a crush on him. You can’t tell anyone that, though!! Please. Rowan will kill me. 

Dinner was good. Dad cooked, and he made this chili stuff that he says Uncle Patrick can’t eat cause it’s too spicy. I think it’s funny. I’m gonna write to Aline and see if he’s messing with me and trying to make me laugh or if he’s being serious. 

I found out from Mom today that Dad likes to draw. I didn’t know that. I asked and he didn’t say much about it, but maybe that’s where I get the steady hand from. Clary says when I draw runes it doesn’t hurt so much. Don’t you have a friend that likes to draw? Maybe he could teach me one day.

It’s late where I am right now. I should probably go to bed soon, Jace said he’s gonna take me out for training tomorrow morning. I don’t feel like running, maybe he’ll let me climb for a bit. I like climbing. 

Say hi to the Blackthorns for me.

- Jensen

— —

Emma,

I’m worried about Jace. He seems really closed off lately. No one really wants to tell me what’s going on, which is fine, but I’ll ask him about it later, maybe. Everyone’s off at that party for Luke and Jocelyn tonight, which is cool, but I didn’t really wanna go even if I was invited. 

Otherwise, things seem okay. I think my dad and Mom are hanging out a lot lately, and that Andy girl is third-wheeling a lot. Andy is Jace’s sister, I guess (Jace has a sister, it’s not Clary, it’s a whole thing. I don’t even know anymore, I just stopped asking). She’s an adult though, so I guess she’s helping Mom. 

I forget if I ever explained this. Mom and Dad aren’t actually together. Mom is Maryse, who isn’t “technically” my mom, but she’s Mom. Y’know? Dad is my actual dad. It’s strange, but I call the Lightwoods family too. Kinda like you and the Blackthorns, right? I think family is whoever you decide to annoy for the rest of your life. 

I hope things are good. I like the picture you sent with the last letter with the palm trees—things are getting colder here and all the trees lost their leaves. I wish it was 70 again, not below freezing when it gets dark out. Visiting sounds better every day. Maybe with some convincing, we can get Mom to bring me for a few days. 

- Jensen

Jen,

I think a visit sounds great! Maybe I’ll talk to Julian’s dad and the parents can work something out. Let me know! I don’t envy your weather right now, the sunshine feels amazing. It NEVER rains here though. You might have to get used to the dry heat. It sucks. We’ll take you to the beach sometime. 

That’s funny about your mom and dad. I don’t have that, but Julian’s dad is pretty cool. I think you just collect moms like crazy. You’ve gotta have at least two, is there any others you haven’t told me about?

Sorry things are stressful, but I’m glad you’re doing better. Things are good here, too. Not much different in my life, but you guys in New York seem to have something different going on every week. Keep me in the loop—I’m rooting for you!

With love,

Emma Carstairs

— — 

Jen,

Hope you’re doing okay. I haven’t heard from you lately. There’s some council meeting happening soon and Helen is going to that with Julian and the Blackthorns. I dunno what it is. I’m gonna see if I can go so I can see you! It’s been too long. I’ll keep this short so I can tell you all about life when I get there. 

With love,

Emma Carstairs

— —

Jensen, where are you? I know this won’t go through, but it doesn’t hurt to try. Everyone’s trying to find you. Just hold on a little for me. 

With love, 

Emma

[bellaxgiornata]

Life Worth Living [Chapter Six]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Original Female Character

[You can find the full summary and chapter list for this series here]

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains fluff, angst, violence, PTSD, smut (Contains our beloved Defenders and lots of plot twists)

Word Count: 6.3k

a/n: This is a big chapter with lots of things happening in it--and you see more of Olivia's powers on display. Poor Matt's flirting doesn't get him where he wants, though. Feedback is always appreciated!

After having exchanged goodbyes in the bar with Karen and Foggy, I had led Matt outside with me, his left hand wrapped around my right bicep. The evening had gotten even colder than when we’d initially walked to the bar and I shivered in my jacket, tucking loose strands of hair behind my ear with my free hand as the chilly breeze blew them across my face. 

“Here,” Matt said, releasing his hand from my arm and gently placing it around my waist, drawing me to him like he’d done earlier. His body heat helped warm me instantly. “This still okay?”

Feeling the nerves surface at being alone with Matt again, I nodded shyly. “Yes, thank you,” I mumbled softly as I slid my hands into the pockets of my jacket. 

Silence fell between us for a minute as we walked down the near empty sidewalk. There were a few taxis passing down the desolate street at the late hour, looking for stragglers who needed rides. My eyes darted from building to building as we moved, keeping my attention on our surroundings in case someone else decided to appear from an alleyway. The reality was beginning to set in that tomorrow I’d be confronting Kilgrave with Jessica. While I was nervous at being in his proximity after so many years again, and possibly opening the floodgate to a lot of terrible memories I’d been pushing down for so long, it also meant he would know I was here. In Hell’s Kitchen. Which could, in turn, put the new friends I’d just made at risk. 

“You seem tense,” Matt observed, his voice breaking me from my thoughts. “Is it the guy from the bar?”

A slow exhale left my lips. I really wished I could tell him the truth; it wasn’t fair to Matt if things didn’t work out tomorrow. If he made it on to Kilgrave’s radar, how would he be able to protect himself? And he was my neighbor . If Kilgrave found out where I lived, he’d find Matt without even trying. Hell, he’d probably be caught in the crosshair just for being my neighbor. 

Maybe I can warn him…with just enough truth?

I felt the muscles stiffen in Matt’s arm that was wrapped around my waist. He turned his attention towards me now, his dark glasses flashing under the streetlights at the movement.

“Olivia? Is everything okay?” he questioned.

“It’s not the guy at the bar, no,” I answered him slowly, keeping my eyes focused ahead as we walked. “But…” I began, struggling to think of a way to explain without giving away too much. 

Matt stopped walking abruptly, pulling me to a stop with him. He turned towards me fully, his arm dropping from its place around me. I shivered at the loss of his warmth.

“Are you in some sort of trouble?” he asked me cautiously. “Does it have something to do with whoever attacked you?”

My tongue darted out, wetting my lips as I glanced past him.

Just some truth. Just enough to help keep him safe.

“...yes,” I answered him slowly. He went rigid immediately, drawing his cane between his hands and gripping it firmly. “I uh…I got a call earlier. Before I came back from the restroom. From the P.I. I said I was helping.” I hesitated, my eyes drawn to the way his lips pursed into a tight line the more I spoke. “She needs my help tomorrow. With that person from my past. I told her I’d help…but I’m afraid it might have some…repercussions to others in my life. If things go wrong, that is.”

A dark look crossed Matt’s face, one I’d never seen there before. His head tilted to the side as he quietly and sightlessly studied me in a way that was becoming increasingly familiar. 

“You mean for us,” Matt clarified after a moment. “Foggy, Karen, and myself. You’re afraid something might affect us?”

I crossed my arms over my chest, staring down at my boots. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him shift on his feet.

“You’re…afraid for me?” Matt asked, drawing conclusions from my silence.

“I’m worried for them too,” I admitted quietly, hugging my arms tighter around myself. “But you’re my neighbor. You’re…easier to find.”

“And blind,” Matt stated bluntly.

My eyes went wide, darting up to see Matt’s grim expression. I shook my head quickly, stepping forward and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“No!” I said immediately. “No, just that you’re literally right there. Across the hall. And you’ve been…flirting with me. Which he-he probably wouldn’t be too thrilled with.”

His head sharply tilted to the side at my words. “He?” he asked curiously. “So this guy is, what, your ex? And he’s dangerous?” Matt’s brows knitted together behind his dark glasses, his voice coming out rough as he asked, “Is he stalking you, Olivia?”

“What? No,” I said firmly. “He’s not stalking me.” I frowned, glancing away again. “Yet. I mean he might, if tomorrow doesn’t…go well.” I shook my head quickly, pushing that thought away for the moment. “Just promise me you won’t go answering your apartment door for any strangers any time soon? Please?”

“I can take care of myself,” Matt assured me.

“Matt,” I said his name sharply, my grip tightening on his shoulder, “promise me.”

He stood there for a moment just focusing on me, not saying anything. I couldn’t make out what was on his mind; I couldn’t read his full expression with his damned glasses blocking his eyes.

“I won’t answer the door for strangers,” Matt eventually assured me. He stepped closer towards me though, reaching a hand up and grazing my chin before he placed his hand against my cheek. My eyes closed at the touch. “Let me help you though.”

“You can’t,” I told him softly. “This isn’t something I need a lawyer to solve.”

“I could help with a restraining order,” Matt mumbled, his thumb rubbing a gentle circle against my cheek.

A small smile spread on my lips as I opened my eyes. His mouth was twisted into a concerned frown, his brows dipping down behind his glasses. 

“Trust me when I tell you,” I said, voice barely above a whisper as I lifted my hand from his shoulder and gently ran my fingertips down his jaw, “that a restraining order would never work.”

His head turned into the light touch of my fingers, his own hand slowly sliding down my neck to rest at the bit of my collarbone visible under my jacket. My heart started to beat a little faster at the intimate touch and I slid my fingers back up his jawline, slowly running them back down the sharp line again. I could see the way he swallowed hard, the bob of his throat noticeable at the movement.

“You confuse me,” he said breathlessly, taking another step closer to me. “You call me a flirt but flirt back with me. You tell me you’re not interested, yet you…” he paused, licking his lips and leaning further towards my touch, “you touch me like that. Kiss me in the bar like you did.” His jaw clenched, his thumb now gently sweeping across my clavicle. “You confuse me and you’re driving me crazy, Olivia.”

I bit my lip, halting the movement of my fingers and slowly dropping them from his face. I swore I heard him let out a quiet whine at the loss of the contact.

“I’m sorry, you’re right,” I said immediately. “I shouldn’t.”

“Why?” Matt asked, his question sounding almost like a plea. “Don’t tell me you’re not interested, either. I’m not going to believe that.” When I didn’t answer immediately he spoke again. “Is it your ex?”

I stepped back out of Matt’s touch, putting distance between us. I glanced away, unable to handle the pained look on his face.

“Yes,” I confessed. “That’s part of it. We-we had a terribly messed up relationship,” I stammered. “It’s the only one I’ve had. And now he’s here and I need to…to deal with…all of it. I can’t–I’m not who you think I am,” I told him in a rush. “I can’t be that. I’m just…too damaged, Matt. You deserve better. Normal.” I shook my head quickly. “I can’t be that for you.”

He was shaking his head at my words immediately. “Don’t, don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re not damaged. You’re not abnormal.”

I grimaced, a humorless laugh crawled its way up my throat and burst out. You have no idea, a dark voice snapped internally.

“You don’t know that, Matt,” I told him. “You don’t know me that well.”

He closed the space I’d put between us abruptly, drawing a hand straight to my chin and turning my face to face his.

“Then let me,” he begged. “Let me get to know you.”

“Matt…” I breathed his name like a whimper.

Suddenly, both of his hands were on my face. They cupped both of my cheeks, the warmth emanating from them was intoxicating and my eyes fluttered closed, anticipating him to pull me in for a kiss. Instead, his fingertips began to slide up to my temples, slowly brushing against my forehead on either side before dipping down, running over the length of my brow bone. Then they lowered, lightly grazing the delicate skin of my closed eyelids. My breath caught in my throat when I realized he was mapping out my face with his fingers. The gesture felt more than intimate despite the fact that we were still standing on the sidewalk just a block from our apartment building. 

“Tell me,” he said gently, one finger sliding over the slope of my nose as he spoke, “that you don’t feel it, too.” His fingertips swept over both cheekbones before lowering down the expanse of my cheeks, until they paused along my jaw. One hand disappeared suddenly from my face as the other very slowly swept its way to my chin. “Tell me,” he began again, his other hand appearing at my hip and gripping it tight. I inhaled sharply at the movement, eyes darting open and being met with his face so close to mine. “Tell me you’re not interested.” The fingers on my chin slid up to my bottom lip, so gently tracing it with his thumb before it rose and traced my upper lip just as carefully. “Tell me and I’ll believe you,” he whispered.

I swallowed hard, fighting internally with myself. My body was aching just from the way he touched my face, and just like in the bar earlier, I found myself wanting more. 

If Kilgrave finds out he’ll kill him.

My lip trembled under his thumb as I fought back so many emotions. 

“I…can’t,” I said faintly, lips brushing against his finger as I spoke. 

“But you want to?” Matt asked, one brow raising as his hands fell from me, one back to his side, the other gripping the cane that had been resting against him.

“I can’t,” I repeated. “Not-not right now. I can’t.”

The sad smile I’d seen on his face after we kissed in the bar returned and I felt a pain in my chest at the sight of it.

“I understand,” he said dejectedly. He cleared his throat loudly. “It’s getting colder out, we should probably get back. You’ve got to be freezing.”

“Matt–”

“It’s only another block away, if I’m remembering correctly,” he continued on, beginning to walk as he tapped his cane along the sidewalk.

I inhaled a shaky breath before shoving my hands in my leather jacket’s pockets again. I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes and I blinked rapidly, fighting them back as I began to catch up to Matt. 

As we walked back to our apartment building, we didn't speak. Matt never asked to take my arm again. His mouth remained in a tight frown the entire ride up to the sixth floor when we'd gotten into the elevator in our building. And as we walked down the hallway to our respective doors, he didn't look back at me as he said goodnight before disappearing into his apartment. 

I unlocked the door to my apartment and let myself in, locking it behind me before leaning against the door. A stray tear made its way down my cheek and I rubbed it away with the heel of my hand before pushing off the door, heading to my room.

I didn't bother changing before crawling into my bed. I just tossed off the leather jacket onto the floor and curled up in my sheets, pulling myself into a tight ball and burying my face in the pillow.

°•°•°•°•°•°

The hood of my gray sweatshirt was pulled up high over my head underneath my leather jacket as Jessica handed me two syringes of Sufentanil, just in case the dart gun Simpson was carrying missed. Trish was at the front of the beat up van in the driver's seat, dark sunglasses and a black beanie on her head attempting to obscure her appearance. The man beside her, Will Simpson as he'd been introduced to me earlier, was in the passenger seat beside her issuing an explanation on how to use the Bluetooth headsets in our ears to stay in touch. 

I hadn't had the best impression of the cop who claimed to be ex-military; besides the fact that he'd tried to kill Trish because Kilgrave had sent him after her when she'd challenged him on her radio show, he was cocky and arrogant. He was quick to take the lead and boss Jessica, Trish, and myself around for the mission and I was getting a strong inclination that he wanted to kill Kilgrave, not just trap him. But, as I'd learned from Jessica on our way to meet up with the pair this morning, he had access to a hermetically sealed room at a now abandoned CDC building, one he'd rigged up with water and a loose, active wire attached to a button, allowing us a safe place to secure Kilgrave once we had captured him. A place to torture him though is what it sounded more like he wanted it for.

"Make sure he doesn't see either of you," Simpson said, craning his neck to look at Jessica and I in the back of the van. "If he recognizes you, he'll run and we'll lose him."

"You're going to have to haul ass to the sealed room," Jessica told Trish. "I don't know how long this stuff will work for. We have to move fast."

"Got it," Trish said with a nod.

"If anyone walks up," Simpson said, turning towards the blonde, "just pretend to be on the phone. Do not engage."

"She's a celebrity," Jessica snapped beside me, and I noted her own obvious irritation at the man in her tone, "she's used to dealing with weirdos. …usually."

Simpson glanced back at me, ignoring Jessica’s jab and studying me for a moment. I raised my brows at him questioningly. 

"You sure you can handle this?" he asked.

I shot him an irritated look. "I'm the only one of you that can go up against him," I shot. "I think I'm good."

"Just want to make sure your head is in it," he grumbled.

"How about we go back to tense silence?" Trish suggested, her eyes darting between the three of us.

Tense silence did fall between us for a moment. I turned towards Jessica beside me. Her foot was tapping anxiously, bouncing the van lightly with the movement. When she noticed I was staring she frowned. 

"You good?"

"Peachy," she snapped. Her lip twitched when she saw my face fall. "Sorry," she apologized. "I know this isn't easy for you either."

"It's fine," I mumbled back.

"It's time," Simpson interrupted from the front of the van.

Jessica and I pushed open the back doors of the van, slipping out onto the street. I slammed them shut behind us, following Jessica around the van to where Simpson stood, lowering a black baseball cap on his head and slipping on sunglasses. I took that moment to slip the Ray Bans off the neck of my sweatshirt and pull them on. I didn't particularly want to be recognized kidnapping someone in broad daylight. 

"If Kilgrave gets one of us," Jessica started, her hand gesturing between herself and I, "just–"

"I'll take you out," Simpson cut in quickly.

Both Jessica and I shot him a look as we stepped up onto the sidewalk. My stomach knotted at how fast he'd said that and how serious he sounded.

"I was going to say use the dart gun, but sure, shoot us in the head," she snapped darkly.

"I'd rather we stick with the dart guns," I said. "Didn't sign up to die. Besides, I should be able to undo any command he gives as long as I'm around and conscious."

We split up just before reaching the park, the three of us going the separate ways we had previously discussed. I made my way into the busy park, beginning to sweat. I’d be lying to say I wasn’t nervous; not only was I encountering Kilgrave again, trying to take him down after having been free of him for the past eight years, but it was mid-morning on a Sunday. The park was bustling with people and as my heart hammered in my chest, I tried to control my racing thoughts.

What if this doesn’t work? What if he hurts someone else because of this? 

…he’s going to know I’m here now. There’s no way to hide after this…

Foggy, Karen, and Matt…all three of them might be in danger if we can’t pull this off.

I shut my eyes tight, shaking the thoughts from my head and trying to remain focused. I couldn’t think about that right now and I certainly didn’t want to think about Matt after last night.

“Everyone in position?” Jessica’s voice came through my earpiece.

I snapped my eyes open, leaning against the light post and casually sliding my phone from my pocket, pretending to scroll through the news.

“I’m ready,” Trish’s voice answered immediately.

“Standing by,” Simpson’s reply came next.

Trying to disguise the movement of my mouth with my hand, I reached up as if I was just scratching an itch on the side of my face.

“In position,” I told them.

I continued to pretend to skim a news article, my eyes occasionally lifting a bit to take in the people passing by. Thankfully I didn’t see Kilgrave standing in front of me, staring me down–an image my brain kept unnecessarily projecting.

Focus.

“Here we go,” Jessica’s voice came through the earpiece.

My hand tightened around the cellphone as I felt a nervous lightheadedness hit me. I tried to stay focused on my breathing, listening for my cue. The plan was for Jessica to stalk her junkie neighbor–her words. She’d discovered he had been her stalker just before she’d called me last night and asked for my help. She said she’d found out every day at ten in the morning he would meet Kilgrave and deliver pictures of her, so the plan was to follow him, find Kilgrave, shoot him with the dart gun and knock him out. Then hopefully we’d be able to play it off like he was a friend having an allergic reaction and we’d throw him into the van and deliver him to the hermetically sealed room.

It sounded so simple and easy, but Jessica had mentioned he’d had bodyguards previously–or at least people he'd controlled to protect him. Not to mention, it was the middle of the morning on a Sunday in New York City. My money was on that this was going to be easier said than done.

“Malcolm's exiting the park on sixteenth street,” Jessica said next.

My heart ticked up, my breath catching in my throat in anticipation. This was it, we were almost about to act.

“He’s at an outdoor cafe,” Jessica said a minute later.  “Sixteenth Street and Union Square West.”

“I’ll park a half block down, on the corner,” Trish said, her voice coming in a rush in my ear.

“On my way,” I told them, shoving my phone into my pocket and heading out of the park.

“Be in place soon,” Simpson added.

I walked quickly, brushing past people and trying to keep my head down as I moved. I felt like I was having a hard time swallowing as I walked; a lump in my throat seemed lodged there and I just couldn’t get it out. I tried hard to stifle the panic as my feet moved even faster.

Breathe, Olivia. You need to breathe.

I tried to draw in a few deep, steady breaths as I moved. Eventually I made it to the street Jessica was on, stopping just beside her. She gave me a slight nod before her attention returned across the street. I followed her gaze, noting the van Trish was driving turning the corner past us. 

And there, at a table on the sidewalk just across the street, sat Kilgrave. He was skimming through something in an envelope with a cup of coffee on the table in front of him. Beside him must have been Jessica’s neighbor, Malcolm; he looked pale and disheveled at this distance, his focus not on the man he was sitting with but diagonally across the street, thankfully not in our direction.

A few loud pops sounded across the street and both Jessica and I stiffened in response. My eyes darted to Simpson who was rounding the corner, his hand inside a brown paper bag as inconspicuous as one could make the act look. Another loud pop from the man on the corner–making balloon animals, of all things–caused Kilgrave to finally raise his head, taking in his surroundings. Simpson was almost in his line of sight.

“Shit,” I breathed out.

“Turn back,” Jessica said quickly through the earpiece. “He can see you.”

“I’m almost in position,” Simpson answered back. “I have a shot, I’m going to take it.”

“He can see the gun,” Jessica said again in a panic.

My breathing came in fast and hard as I stared at the scene unfolding before us. Kilgrave was, in fact, staring right at Simpson as he was making his way closer. I could see the way his eyes were studying the man.

“I’m taking the shot,” Simpson answered back.

“God dammit,” Jessica muttered.

Without thinking, I began walking across the street, inhaling a deep breath before I began to shout.

“Hey shit head!” I called out as loud as I could, stepping out onto the street and waving my arms. “You miss me?”

It felt like everything moved in slow motion after that. Kilgrave’s head turned away from Simpson and landed directly on me. His eyes instantly went wide as recognition dawned over him. His mouth began to part into a warm, surprised smile, but Simpson passed in that moment, shooting him quickly in the neck with the dart. Kilgrave’s face fell as his hand flew back to his neck. He tried to stand from his chair, his eyes remaining locked on me as I continued forward towards him.

And then he collapsed forward into the table, knocking it over. The man beside him jolted up from his seat, his eyes landing on me and then presumably Jessica behind me.

“Sorry, I-I didn’t–I had to!” he said before bolting down the sidewalk at a sprint.

I bent down when I reached Kilgrave, trying to lift him by the arm. Jessica appeared beside me, lifting his heavy body with complete ease onto her back.

“Excuse me, ma'am,” a man said, suddenly darting out of the cafe door. “We got this.”

I rose to my feet taking in the sight of the two large men who’d stepped out of the cafe. Kilgrave’s bodyguards, they had to be. I sized them up quickly; both well built and average height. They looked good in a fight but I could handle them, though with time not on our side I just needed to slow them down and not acquire an assault charge in public. 

“Sorry, but we've got this,” I said quickly, stepping in between Jessica and the two men.

The men didn't hesitate. They lunged towards us and I sidestepped, throwing my foot out to trip the first man and grabbing him by the shoulders when he stumbled. I tossed him backwards into the second man behind him and they went down onto the sidewalk.

“Help! They’re trying to attack my brother and my friend!” Jessica called out, shifting the unconscious Kilgrave on her back.

A woman ran over to us, offering to call an ambulance and the police. A few men nearby stood up, looking ready to enter the fight to help. 

“It’s too late,” Jessica breathed out quickly to the woman, feigning a dramatic voice that I couldn't believe the woman bought. “I’ll get him there myself.”

Without waiting, we booked it down the sidewalk, Jessica toting Kilgrave on her back like he weighed nothing. 

“We’re coming to you, Trish,” Jessica said into the earpiece.

I glanced behind me, seeing the men getting up from the pavement, glaring our way. 

“And there’s two guys right behind us," I warned her. "We need to make a quick getaway."

“ Guys ?” Trish asked in a panic. “What guys?”

I didn’t answer, just urged Jessica forward in a hurry. I kept glancing back over my shoulder, making sure they hadn’t caught up yet. Thankfully they were still a decent distance away.

When we made it around the corner, the back doors of the van were already open. Jessica dropped Kilgrave into the back before climbing in. I pulled myself up after just as Simpson swung the front door open and got in.

“Go, go!” Simpson ordered.

Trish peeled off and I slid in the back of the van, one hand still struggling to close the back door. I could see the two bodyguards sprinting down the sidewalk before I got the door shut. My head momentarily fell back against the wall of the van, my heart racing. That had been close.

“We’re clear,” Simpson said as he glanced back in the rearview mirror. “Think we lost them.”

I tried to steady my breathing but my eyes landed on Jessica. She slid the hood from her head, her eyes staring down at Kilgrave’s lifeless form in front of us. She looked deep in her own head as she watched him, a tight line forming on her mouth as her fists clenched in her lap.

Trish glanced over as she drove, brow furrowing. “You know we need him alive, Jess,” she reminded her.

“I remember,” Jessica said, her voice distant.

I watched as she rose on her knees, one hand reaching out and grabbing Kilgrave by the lapels of his nice navy suit jacket. She swung a fist back and landed it down hard against his cheek with a solid thwack. She dropped him back to the floor of the van as she sat back on her knees, her eyes meeting mine.

“He’s still alive,” she said.

Trish and Simpson exchanged concerned looks from the front seat, but I remained quiet, trying to avoid looking at Kilgrave or thinking about him anymore than I needed to in the moment. I wanted to keep myself as distanced from my emotions as I could. If I didn't see him, really see him, I could pretend it was anyone else. 

It was a bit of a drive to the building we needed to bring him to, one that went by eerily silent. Eventually when we pulled through an alley into a parking lot it was around noon. The sun was high overhead but the tall buildings around us kept us slightly shadowed. Kilgrave was still unconscious on the floor, thankfully the Sufentanil hadn’t worn off yet during the drive. 

“Let’s just get him inside quickly and quietly,” Simpson said as the van came to a stop.

I began to open the back doors as Jessica reached over to pick up Kilgrave. I paused, my hands still holding the door handles as my brows knitted together. I swore I heard a noise getting closer.

“Shit!” Jessica’s voice cut through the silence.

I turned and watched as she pulled something out of his suit coat. It was something small with a red flashing light. And then I heard car doors slamming just outside and I grimaced.

“He was wearing a tracker,” I called out in understanding.

I flung the back door open, swinging it into an unsuspecting man who’d been coming for the back doors. He went down for a moment before he got right back up. The sound of glass shattering came from the front of the van and then I heard the distinct sounds of a taser and Trish’s screams from up front. Then she went silent.

I flung myself out of the back of the van, throwing a fist into the man I’d just knocked down with the car door and dodging a punch from another man who’d appeared. As he went to pull his arm back from the punch, I latched onto his wrist with one hand and slammed my own fist into his elbow. He screamed as bone broke and he fell to his knees. I could hear the sounds of tasers and fighting behind me, but I didn’t have a chance to recover as the first man who’d attacked was coming at me now, a large taser now active in his hands.

Something took over me the moment I saw the taser swing at me, electricity sparking; the telltale vibration in my skull began to hum behind my eyes. For a moment the man hesitated, fear in his eyes as he looked on at me. I knew what it was he saw that made him pause. Using it to my advantage, I threw a hand out in front of me, a pulse of energy shooting out from it towards the man as he tried to charge me. He went flying hard back against one of the buildings, hitting the brick before falling to the pavement. He went still, but I could feel his mind slip into temporary unconsciousness. He was still alive. 

Ignoring the man still sitting at my feet, screaming over his broken arm, I turned around and saw three men tasing Jessica. They were in utter disbelief because she kept trying to get back up despite the multiple electric shocks. Simpson was in a headlock while being pummeled in the gut, his body trapped against the hood of the van. And Trish was unconscious in the driver seat, limp across the steering wheel.

Rage bubbled up inside and I lifted another hand, a pulse of energy shooting out from it as I screamed. All four men lost their footing and went flying across the pavement as if an invisible force had thrown them. Even Simpson stumbled forward to the pavement at the impact. Breathing heavily, I took a step towards them, throwing out another burst of energy as a few tried to rise to their feet.

“You’re going to leave here,” I ordered them, my voice sounding metallic and strange as it barrelled down the alley towards them. “Forget this happened.” 

The men immediately scrambled back to their cars, climbing in wordlessly at my command.

As I turned on my heel, I noticed Jessica was angrily slamming the van door shut. Her head whipped in the direction of a car peeling out of the alley.

“He took Kilgrave!” she snarled, entirely unphased by my appearance.

My eyes narrowed at the car speeding almost out of sight. With a sharp inhale, I held up my hand at the car, mentally grabbing onto it as my hand curled into a tight fist. I pulled with as much strength as my mind could handle. The car paused, the back end lifting a half foot off of the ground. A scream tore through me as I tried to pull it back, the muscles in my neck straining at the effort. Something inside my head snapped like a rubber band tearing. The car dropped to the pavement and skidded out before I could try again. I fell to my knees panting hard as sweat covered me.

“God dammit!” Jessica roared.

My eyes darted over to Simpson who was at the driver’s side, patting Trish on the face lightly and checking for a pulse.

“Is she okay?” I asked, voice weak.

Simpson glanced down at me, his eyes holding mine for a long moment, an unreadable expression on his face before he finally nodded.

“Just unconscious,” he told me. “She’ll come to soon.”

“Good,” I said softly.

The world was spinning and the vibrating in my head wasn’t helping. I lowered myself to all fours, trying to keep myself steady as I recovered. Blood dripped onto the ground by my hands; my nose must have started bleeding from the mental strain.

“We got nothing, after all of that,” Jessica grumbled before angrily slamming a fist into the building beside us–the brick crumbled under the impact.

“Not exactly,” Simpson said as he pulled zip ties from inside his coat pocket. “I knocked one of them out. We can question him inside, see what he knows.”

°•°•°•°•°•°

The man came to shortly after we’d gotten him inside of the building where we could interrogate him privately. Simpson pulled a knife out, waving it in front of the man’s eyes as he registered he’d been tied up. I crossed my arms over my chest, not exactly liking the situation.

“We need to know where they took Kilgrave,” Simpson told the man as he began tearing the fabric of the man’s pants upwards, starting at his ankle. “There’s a pain center right below the knee cap–”

“Come on man!” the guy shouted, his eyes growing wide in panic.

“Forget it,” Jessica cut in. “You could torture him until he’s dead–he can’t tell us anything. He’s not in control.”

“I am in total control!” the man countered rapidly, his voice rising in fear. “You don’t need to torture!”

Jessica frowned, her eyes narrowing. “You mean Kilgrave didn’t tell you to do this?”

“Is he a client?” the man asked. “I never spoke to him.”

“Yet you work for that psychopath?” Simpson asked him.

“No, I work for a firm,” the man answered quickly. “I just guard who I’m told to guard. The client thought he might be attacked. Frankly, I thought he was just some paranoid nut-job with a lot of cash.”

Jessica pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head as she let out a frustrated noise. When her hand lowered, she met my gaze.

“He knew we were coming,” she groaned. “God, I’m such an idiot. He knew I had the Sufentanil–Malcolm would have told him.”

I inhaled a rough breath, rubbing my hands over my eyes.

“And he knows I’m here now,” I pointed out. “So that’s another advantage out of the window.”

“He’s lying, he’s got to be,” Simpson countered.

“Come on man,” the guy whined. “The job doesn’t pay good enough for me to lose a knee cap, you know what I mean?”

Jessica shook her head, catching Simpson’s eyes. “Kilgrave knew he needed paid backup in case he lost his ability. He’s not lying.”

“So where’d they take him?” I asked the guy, stepping forward.

He looked up at me, shaking his head quickly. “I don’t know; they don’t tell us where to go until we need it. It’s a precaution. I have no idea where he is.”

“I want names of your firm and the people in your detail,” Simpson told the man.

“Sure,” he said, nodding quickly. “Whatever you want.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said slowly. “Kilgrave will just change it all now, after that. It’s too risky, he knows we’d figure it out.”

“I’ll just make sure,” Simpson snapped, raising his knife towards the man.

My eyes narrowed as Jessica slapped his arm.

“Come here, dickhead,” she ordered, dragging him to the corner of the room.

I sauntered over, a wary eye on Simpson. I was really beginning to not trust the man. He seemed like he was one step from going off of the deep end.

“Olivia and I will find him,” she said when we were out of earshot of the man. “You need to fix shit here with this guy; figure out how to come to terms with him. You’re a cop, Simpson–you’re supposed to serve and protect. Remember?” She glanced at me, gesturing her head. “Come on, we’re going to talk to my junkie neighbor. Sober him up a bit.”

I followed after Jessica, glancing over my shoulder. Simpson was making his way back towards the man who still looked terrified.

“You sure it’s safe leaving him alone with that guy?” I asked her as we made our way out of the building. “I…get bad vibes from Simpson. He doesn’t seem…okay.”

“He won’t kill him,” Jessica assured me. “I saw how worked up he was thinking he’d killed Trish. He won’t.”

“I hope you’re right…” I mumbled.

“I’m just going to tell Trish what’s going on, she can get Simpson out of here,” Jessica said as the van came into view. “We’ll grab a cab back to my place.”

I sighed, watching as Jessica headed over to the blonde sitting in the van. Trish perked up when she spotted us but she still looked upset. When she’d regained consciousness she’d done nothing but beat herself up for passing out after a single tase.

“I hope your plan works, Jessica,” I mumbled to myself.

[rainbowsalt0412]

Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam - Chapter 2

11th

Returning home late, I face my inkstone in silence.

Though this is a day I will never forget, I will not inscribe it in my notebook.

No matter how difficult the trial, no matter how great my disgrace, I must laugh. But for now, there is only silence.

I read the paper at my desk at the office. The news has been chaotic all morning. Sensational reports flood the television and Internet.

MISSING YOKOHAMA VISITORS FOUND DEAD

DID A PRIVATE DETECTIVE AGENCY’S MEDDLING LEAD TO THE VICTIMS’ DEATHS?

And then there are the images—the white gas, the suffering victims, and me, grabbing on to the cage. It’s only a matter of time before the pictures make the front page of the newspaper. The agency’s phone has been ringing off the hook all morning with no end in sight. So far, they’ve all been complaints, but it won’t be long before the victims’ families begin to call us to threaten legal action. To make matters worse, we still have no leads as to where the remaining seven missing persons are.

Who took the pictures the moment the victims were killed, and why make them public?

The phone on my desk gives a teeth-grinding trill. I reach for the receiver, but Dazai promptly snatches it up and puts it back in its cradle. The ringing stops.

“Looks like this is exactly what the enemy wanted, huh?” Dazai says cheerfully. He’s carrying a photo in his hand. “If it’s any consolation, this is a really good picture of you.”

I silently try to take it from him, but he nimbly lifts his arm into the air before I can.

“Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? You look awful.” 

“…No. There’s work to be done.”

“Wow. You’re not gonna take a day off even after all this? You know, someone threw a rock at me on two separate occasions while I was trying to come into the office today.”

I look outside. A few protesters have been standing in front of the agency, causing a ruckus since morning. There will undoubtedly be even more tomorrow.

“‘Take a day off’? Have you lost your mind? We have a mission of utmost priority: Find the criminal behind this.”

“Well… Yeah. You’re right,” Dazai agrees with a blank look on his face. “Where’s Miss Sasaki?”

“She’s in the infirmary getting examined by Dr. Yosano. Sounds like she’s gonna be okay.”

“Let’s pay her a little visit.”

I get out of my chair. Miss Sasaki is the only known victim to have had contact with the murderer and lived to tell the tale. We can probably figure out who the perpetrator is if we can learn how they’re kidnapping everyone.

I casually look down at the picture before following Dazai into the infirmary. You can clearly see my face in the pictures along with Miss Sasaki’s and the victims’, but the most of Dazai you can see is the tail of his overcoat. How was he able to avoid the secret photos?

***

“I’m sorry… I really wish I could help you, but…” Miss Sasaki helplessly gazes at the floor.

“I’ve always been prone to illness, and I’m anemic, which causes me to faint every now and then. I was feeling especially ill the day I was abducted… I passed out at the train station, probably from the anemia.”

In that case, I guess she wouldn’t have any idea how she was abducted.

However…

“Then that would mean someone abducted you in the midst of the confusion after you passed out.”

Kidnapping someone in the middle of a place as crowded as Yokohama Station would be impossible. Carrying an unconscious woman would draw even more attention. Either there are multiple kidnappers or someone’s using a very clever trick…

“Let me just say…thank you so much for saving me yesterday. I… I don’t have any friends or family to turn to, so…”

Miss Sasaki hangs her head low in silence. She doesn’t say another word after that. With her naturally delicate features coupled together with the porcelain skin, she reminds me of a marionette doll whose strings have been cut. Actually, her own experience isn’t too much different. As if her thread of life had been cut, she was almost killed by an unidentified serial killer for who knows why, and her life could still very well be in danger.

“You even allowed me to stay at your home last night…”

……Hmm?

“Hold on. Where did you stay last night?” 

“My place,” Dazai nonchalantly replies.

…………

…………

Are things like this the norm nowadays?

“Thank you so much, Mr. Dazai. You… You were very…kind to me last night…”

Miss Sasaki flushes bashfully for some reason.

“What’s wrong, Kunikida? You’ve got a really weird look on your face.” 

“Dazai… Don’t you think that’s taking things a little too fast?”

“I… I was the one who asked him to let me stay over. I basically forced him.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I simply did what any gentleman would. Besides, I’m used to getting asked for things from people I’ve just met,” he replies with a smile.

…………

I have no interest in frivolous love affairs. Two people must have mutual respect for each other when building a relationship. If you ask me, an unplanned single night of fleeting passion is unforgivable and shameless. So—therefore—for this reason alone, it doesn’t matter how popular a fool like Dazai may be, because I am not the least bit jealous or frustrated.

Not the least bit jealous!

***

“What a beautiful, misfortunate woman,” Dazai says with a smirk. We’ve returned to the office to prepare for our next investigation.

“So that’s your type?”

“I like all types of women. They’re the bearers of all human life, a source of mystery. But I do like the fact that Miss Sasaki would probably kill herself with me if I asked.”

“Go marry a cicada or something, then.”

Relations between the sexes must be pure and strong. The only feminine company I intend to keep will be with my ideal spouse, where we complement and lift each other up, and I will be with her until the day I draw my last breath. That is my ideal. It’s also written in my notebook. “What about you, Kunikida? What do you think of Miss Sasaki?” 

“She’s a victim and a witness to the case. That’s all.”

“I’m asking only because I can’t even begin to imagine, but…what’s your ideal woman like?”

“You’re free to read about it.”

I open my notebook to the page titled ‘Spouse’ and show him. All my future plans are written here.

“What is this, an encyclopedia?!”

His expression slowly hardens as he skims over the page. “…Whoa. Oh no, no, no… This is just… Wow. I’m…” 

“The hell kind of reaction is that? Is it weird?”

“No, not at all. I think all guys can relate to the ideals…of each section.” 

“Right? What’s wrong with having standards?”

“Exactly. I agree with you one hundred percent, Kunikida. A word of advice, though: Never show this to a woman. It’d really turn them off. I mean, even I’m struggling to keep myself from yelling ‘A girl like this doesn’t exist!’”

Is it really that far-fetched?

“Okay, I get it. Now let’s get to work and find that kidnapper. By the way, have you found out anything else?”

“There’s one thing I noticed.” 

“What’s that?”

“If you truly wish to pursue your ideal woman, then we’re going to have to do something about those boring glasses first.”

Dazai swiftly swipes the glasses off my face, then puts them on. They look awful on him.

“Enough! Give those back!”

So long as my work isn’t hindered, then nothing else matters. Besides, simply wearing nice glasses isn’t going to magically improve my life. And Dazai looks even more comical with them on… Even more ridiculous than usual for some odd reason.

“……Glasses?”

Glasses. The photos of the victims. Their faces. The monitoring equipment. The hotel they stayed in—

“Something the matter, Kunikida?”

The missing people all left the hotel of their own accord, and they all stayed in Yokohama alone. So that means the security footage of everyone entering and leaving the hotel is…

“Come on, Dazai. We’re leaving.”

I snatch my glasses and put them back on.

“I figured out who the kidnapper is.”

***

The ocean breeze soars past the Port of Yokohama. Dazai and I stand on the levee at the mouth by the shore. I gaze into the sky. The sun is already high, peeking through the sea of clouds and shining onto us. I do not feel as fine as the weather, however. A familiar taxi stops before me.

“Detective Kunikida! Please get in.”

A familiar cabdriver waves me over, and we waste no time climbing in. “I apologize for the sudden call.”

“Oh, don’t be. I would go through fire and water for you and the agency, Detective! So are you in a hurry to get somewhere? Don’t you worry! The speed limit means nothing to me!”

“It should. Anyway, do you remember the missing-persons case we spoke of last evening? Well, I figured out who the kidnapper is.”

“What?! I saw the news about the abandoned hospital. I feel so sorry for those poor victims… So we’re going to arrest the kidnapper, yes? Roger that! We have to hurry, though, or he’ll get away. So where is this perpetrator?”

“Right here.” 

“Excuse me?”

“You’re the kidnapper, and inside this taxi is where the kidnappings have been taking place.”

“Uh… I don’t think I’m following you, Detective. What are you saying?” 

“I thought, ‘Who would be able to kidnap someone in this city without anyone noticing? Where in Yokohama would a victim be comfortable alone with a complete stranger?’ The answer is here. You used sleeping gas on the victims, then kidnapped them. While wearing a gas mask yourself, of course.”

“Wait… No, no, no. Hold on. I’m pretty sure the investigation indicated that the victims all left of their own accord, by themselves, and mysteriously disappeared. I heard there were no records of them ever getting into any vehicle or going inside any building. If all the victims got into this taxi, then wouldn’t there be a record of a phone call or of them hailing a cab?”

“Yes, there would be. And that’s why there is no doubt in my mind that every victim got into this taxi. Of course, the city police weren’t able to find any records no matter how hard they looked. Why? Because they were looking at the wrong date. The victims didn’t get in this taxi on the day they went missing.”

“What… What are you trying to say?”

“Okay, Kunikida, we’re not going to get anywhere trying to answer each and every one of his questions. Let me explain exactly what happened,” Dazai chimes in. “Driver, you were searching for certain customers during your daily work shift. The conditions for a target were simple: They had to be in Yokohama alone and heading to their hotel, they had to be wearing something that partially covered their face such as a hat, glasses, or sunglasses, and they had to be around the same height as you. You have a small frame, which is why women would be viable candidates as long as they met those few requirements. All of this would make it appear as if you had no relation to the victim, and you could disrupt the investigation.”

“I… I’m afraid I don’t follow. I—”

“Yes, yes. Let me finish first, okay? You’re a taxi driver who operates in the area. Those requirements may be strict, but you’d be able to find someone who matched them in two, three days tops. Then, when just the right person happened to show up, you used sleeping gas on them just like Kunikida mentioned. After that, you went to a secret hideout, held the victims prisoner there, and stole their clothes and belongings. That’s why the victims at the abandoned hospital were in their underwear. Now this is where you really begin to shine.” Dazai claps his hands giddily before continuing. “Next, you dressed in the victim’s clothing and disguised yourself as them. After that, it’s just as you told us last night. All you have to do is put on a little makeup, stuff your cheeks and clothing a bit, and you’re someone else. Of course, you must have religiously practiced and chosen only people you were confident you could pull off, though. Plus, you weren’t trying to deceive people, only video footage. You went to the hotel the victims planned to stay at and purposely made sure the security cameras saw you.”

I think back to the footage I viewed during the investigation. In hindsight, there was an unnaturally high rate of people with their face covered—six in glasses and two in sunglasses. The remaining three had either a hat or long hair, leaving only a portion of their face exposed to the security cameras. This was possible only because he selected victims wearing specific clothing that would be easy to emulate.

“The rest is simple. You leave the victims’ belongings in the hotel room and check out the next morning in broad daylight. By leaving a record of what appears to be the victim entering, checking in, and exiting the hotel, the police would stubbornly focus on investigating what happened to the victim after they left. Naturally, they didn’t find anything, though, since you undoubtedly know Yokohama inside and out. At the very least, you knew where you would be recorded and where you could escape to avoid any security cameras. That’s why the more we investigated, the more it appeared as if the victims intentionally spirited themselves away while making sure there would be no records of it.”

“This is absurd. This hypothetical, purely speculative situation you’re proposing is—is nothing without…without evidence. That’s right—you’ve got no evidence to support your claim.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. You would have been more than able to conduct Miss Sasaki’s kidnapping on your own as well,” I continue explaining from where Dazai left off. “Abducting Miss Sasaki after she passed out at the station must have been your easiest job yet. I’ll bet you felt like the luckiest man alive. People usually call an ambulance if they see somebody suddenly faint, but it takes time for the ambulances to arrive from the hospital. But there’s always a taxi waiting in front of the station for passengers, and luckily for Miss Sasaki, a Good Samaritan happened to be present to save her. This well-intentioned individual wanted to get her to the hospital as quickly as possible, so he decided to have a taxi take her. That’s when you took her away, bold as brass, except you didn’t take her to the hospital like you were supposed to.”

“I…”

The driver sounds as if he wants to say something, but he doesn’t speak another word. I can’t see his expression clearly from where we’re sitting, either. I shift my gaze to the interior of the car, where I find a few small white particles in one of the crevices. I pinch what I can with my fingertips.

“If you’re going to turn yourself in, you should probably do it quickly. It won’t be long until we have evidence. I’m sure you cleaned the inside of this car, but there’s still some residue from the gas. A lab analysis will confirm it in no time.”

“I… I have no idea where that came from. It must have been from one of my customers. That doesn’t count as evidence.”

The driver barely manages to stammer out the words. Nevertheless, he admitted his guilt the moment he started making excuses.

“Evidence isn’t even necessary to prove you’re the only one who could have done it.” I begin to lay out the basis of the argument. “The only way to use the trick Dazai mentioned would be to get the victims into a taxi, and you had two of the victims in your vehicle, which is no different from admitting you gave rides to the other nine.”

“That isn’t physical evidence, Detective Kunikida,” the driver plainly states while avoiding eye contact. “Everything you’ve presented has been circumstantial evidence. It’s not as if you found a weapon in my house or have video evidence of me committing a crime. Sure, you could file charges, but I wouldn’t be convicted.”

It’s my turn to fall silent. He’s right. We would need physical evidence to connect him to the victims: blood, fingerprints, video recordings, a confession with information only the criminal would know…

We don’t have the necessary hard evidence. In fact, our case could be dismissed due to a lack of probable cause as things stand now. From the way the driver’s talking, it sounds like he made sure to dispose of all the physical evidence. He’s cleverer than I thought. What’s my next move?

But what he says next completely disproves my assumptions.

“Detective Kunikida… Let’s make a deal. If you accept my conditions, I will turn myself in.”

“What?”

“I would like the Armed Detective Agency to protect me and guarantee my safety in return for my confession. I request only seventy-two hours of your time until I receive witness protection following the prosecutorial investigation.”

“A witness protection deal? What are you talking about?”

“There’s no time… I’m going to be killed. They’re going to kill me.”

“Wait. I’m not following. Tell me step-by-step what’s going on. Who’s going to kill you? And for what?!”

“I wish I never did business with that lot… I should have never tried to get into the organ-trafficking business alone! And now I’ve made them angry! This is bad… This is really bad. I can’t get in touch with any of the buyers, either. They’ve cut me loose! But why? They were never supposed to find out… But they’re already onto me. And they’re getting closer…”

“I see. So that’s what’s going on here.” Dazai places a hand on his chin and nods.

“Dazai, what’s going on?! What is he rambling about?!”

“It’s exactly how it sounds. He was selling the victims to an organ- trafficking syndicate, but the month’s supply rose too high relative to demand. Naturally, this led to a drop in prices, throwing the market into confusion. Imagine a private one-man business suddenly entering a supply market more or less controlled by a large corporation. How would the large corporation feel?”

“They would get mad, I guess?”

“It would be healthy competition if these were normal, legal companies. But these organ-trafficking businesses are run by underground groups who profit off blood and violence. Causing trouble on their turf would only anger—”

The next moment, the car is suddenly hit, then hit again so hard its wheels leave the ground. A high-pitched echo follows. The taxi’s right side lifts into the air as the windows shatter along with the sound of gunshots.

“We’re under fire! Get down!” I yell out.

The car rocks back and forth as if being pummeled with a hammer, and shards of glass rain down inside.

“It’s them! H-help, help me… I don’t wanna die!” 

“Hey! Wait!”

The driver opens the car door before bolting in the opposite direction of the gunfire.

“Kunikida, we have to catch him before the enemy does, or we’ll never know what really happened! We can’t let him escape or turn up dead in a grove somewhere!” Dazai shouts, keeping his head down. That’s easier said than done, though! “Okay, I’ll go after the driver! You distract the enemies!” 

“Dazai, wait! It’s too dangerous to go alone!”

Dazai darts out of the car without even listening to my warning. I can’t allow a rookie to go off on his own during his first shoot-out. We don’t have any other options, though. I curse to myself while getting a look at the enemy. Three men stand dressed in black suits and black sunglasses, equipped with submachine guns smuggled in from abroad via the black market. Judging from their attire, their skills, and their ruthless willingness to suddenly turn the place into a war zone, it’s clear who they are…

“Damn it! This couldn’t be any worse… It’s the Port Mafia!”

The Port Mafia is an underground organization that uses the Port of Yokohama as their base of operations. They’re the cruelest, most coldhearted criminal syndicate in the city, willing to follow any orders from their boss and crush all who oppose them. The three men here are from that organization. The longer this goes on, the more they have the advantage.

“The Matchless Poet: Stun Grenade!”

I record the word in my notebook before tearing it out. The sheet of paper twists into a grenade the size of my fist. Aiming at the group, I hurl the grenade out the broken window. Stun grenades are nonlethal sonic weapons used to temporarily disorient an enemy’s senses. It blows up right in front of them, emitting a light so bright and creating an explosion so thunderous that it could give a sick man a heart attack. They fall to their knees while covering their temples, perhaps completely taken by surprise at being countered with a flashbang. I use this momentary distraction to leap out of the taxi and charge the enemies. I elbow the man closest to me in the neck, knocking him to the ground. I keep my elbow out and charge the next criminal, following up with a high kick to the face. The last armed man tries to hit me with his gun, but I swerve to the side, evading the strike. As he staggers off-balance, I grab his wrist and twist while pulling inside. Then I throw him into the air with a four- corner throw. The Mafia member goes flying and lands cranium first, immediately losing consciousness.

“Good grief.”

After making sure they’re all out, I walk back to the taxi.

I really hope Dazai’s all right…

Just then, I suddenly sense an ever-increasing thirst for blood coming from behind. Something flies past my side before I can even turn around. The black torrent runs through right where I was just standing, hitting the taxi and cutting right through it, too. As the vehicle completely splits in half, springs and shafts take to the air, scattering every which way. Without even a moment to let my surprise sink in, I kick off the ground to evade. The nearby sign and handrails are finely sliced into pieces. After rolling across the ground and looking back, I see a small-framed man clad in black in the distance.

“Cough, cough…”

That must be the source of the bloodlust.

“Cough… I came thinking this was going to be an easy side job. I wasn’t expecting to run into someone skilled enough to neutralize three men in the blink of an eye. I’m impressed. Now let’s see how you fare against Rashomon.”

With no weapon in hand, the young man simply walks toward me with his back hunched, occasionally coughing. However, the malice oozing from his body soon transforms into a silent but furious storm.

A man short of stature dressed in a black overcoat, with the skill to control a black torrent—the Port Mafia’s Hellhound.

“You… You’re Ryuunosuke Akutagawa from the Port Mafia, aren’t you?”

“The one and only. I was sent here by the boss to dispose of the fool who trespassed on our turf. Where is he?”

“He’s not here. He ran away with his tail tucked between his legs.”

I point in the direction the driver ran, but my eyes remain locked on Akutagawa. I don’t look away—not even for a second. This man is the worst of the worst. Even the toughest criminals run away in tears when they hear Akutagawa’s despicable name. The Black-Fanged Hellhound, the Skill User of Destruction and Disaster, the Apostle of Calamity and Despair: There are too many aliases to count. This is my first time actually meeting him, but judging by what he did to the taxi, he’s even more dangerous than the rumors made him out to be.

So what’s my next move? It’s simple. His target is the kidnapper, and there’s no reason for me to risk my life to protect a kidnapper against someone this dangerous. All I need to do is back off.

“He’s a witness. I cannot allow you to kill him until he tells us where the other missing people are. If you want to go after him, you’re going to have to get past me first.”

“You’re willing to risk your life for a murderer? Just as I expected.” 

Damn it. I can’t believe how stupid I can be. But as a member of the Armed Detective Agency, I cannot allow our witness to be helplessly killed by this scumbag.

Do what must be done. I mentally recite the phrase from my notebook. Akutagawa’s black overcoat wriggles. It’s as if a thousand specters gathered and meshed, taking form. It’s no longer a coat; part of it transforms into a claw, while another part begins to take the shape of a piercing fang.

“Ryuunosuke Akutagawa, the Port Mafia’s attack dog.” 

“Doppo Kunikida, Armed Detective Agency.”

Akutagawa launches a shadowy blade in one explosive motion. It disperses into a black rain, heading right in my direction. I jump to the side. A few dark blades pierce my shirt while the others stab the wall behind me, leaving numerous holes. I jot down a word in my notebook and tear out the sheet before he can draw his blade to attack. The piece of paper instantly transforms into a wire gun. Squeezing the trigger, I shoot the hook…but moments before the iron-penetrating hook reaches him, it’s deflected by an invisible wall.

“What…?!”

I saw no signs of him moving to defend. Is this another one of his skills? Before I can even reel in my airborne hook, part of Akutagawa’s coat transforms into a shadowy beast. With a roar, it swings its head. It’s quick!

I twist away to dodge, but its fangs tear into my left shoulder. Blood spurts out of the wound, but I don’t have time to stop the bleeding. I step back while evading the beast’s relentless fangs. I have no chance to counter, let alone even get near the thing!

“Is running away the only thing you know how to do? You’re putting me to sleep,” he scoffs, still standing upright. A cold bead of sweat runs down my cheek. He’s strong.

Akutagawa speedily shoots his lethal shadowy blade at me from only a few feet away, giving me no chance to do anything other than dodge. To make matters worse, any projectile I throw at him is easily knocked aside. Even if I do hit him, he’s being protected by that mysterious force field. He has no openings.

I dodge the flurry of attacks until I land on a paved road, where a sudden unidentifiable chill eerily shoots down my spine.

A blade thrusts up from the pavement before shooting back into the air like a fountain of spears.

He was getting me to focus on the aerial attacks while he used another blade to pierce the ground! I try to turn my body and jump away, but the ground is uneven, and I’m too late. The pitch-black blade penetrates my side and exits through my back.

“Gah…!”

My vision blurs from the excruciating pain, and I helplessly fall to my knees. This isn’t good. The next attack is coming. If I stop moving for even a second, I’m dead…but there’s nothing I can do. The black fabric of Rashomon wraps around my neck, lifting me off the ground. It bends like a serpent’s neck, then catapults me into the nearby wall.

“Pathetic. I guess I shouldn’t have expected much from a detective agency that works for chump change. Don’t worry. It’ll all be over when I snap your head off.”

The black fabric tightens around my neck. I start to see red.

“There’s always someone—someone who wants…to get in the way of my work!”

As Akutagawa’s skill strangles me, I shoot my wire gun. My target isn’t Akutagawa, though. The airborne iron wire’s hook directly hits the water pipe running up the building next to him, showering him with water.

“What…?!”

He raises his arm to block, but the high-pressure stream fully drenches him and the ground around him.

“Fool. Do you really think a little water is going to scare me?”

I raise another sheet of paper in my left hand into the air with something else I wrote down while making the wire gun.

“The Matchless Poet: Stun Gun!”

I instantly turn on the handheld high-voltage stun gun before tossing it into the puddle of water. A flash of light shoots out, and sparks fly.

“Nnng—gaaah?!”

Using the water as a conductor, the submerged stun gun emits beams of violet and white light. A purple flash of lightning jolts through Akutagawa’s wet body like a boa constrictor wrapping around its prey. The flash shines as bright as the sun before eventually disappearing along with the hiss of steam and the crack of the ground splitting under it. Rashomon’s grip around my neck loosens, and I land on the pavement below. As I cradle my injured neck and side, I glare at Akutagawa. He’s on his knees as steam and white smoke rise from his body.

“Heh-heh… Ah-ha-ha-ha!”

Akutagawa’s shoulders shake as he laughs. He can still move after taking a shock like that?

“Looks like I was wrong about the Armed Detective Agency. Heh. This is wonderful. Truly wonderful.”

“…Come at me if you want to keep going. I still have plenty more paper left.” I force myself to my feet, then get back into stance with the wire gun.

“By all means, I would love the opportunity to see whether you have what it takes to kill me, but it seems we have guests.”

I follow Akutagawa’s gaze and see the city police approach with their sirens blazing. Somebody must have reported the gunshots.

“A pathetic traitor won’t be able to hide for long before we hunt him down. I will withdraw for today. We’ll continue this soon.” He coughs and turns his back to me. He leaves just like that, with the same nonchalance as if he was going home after a walk. Honestly speaking, continuing to fight and withdrawing probably aren’t too different from his point of view.

“I’d rather you not come back…”

I fall to my knees while watching him walk away. Akutagawa from the Port Mafia is just as— No, he’s even fiercer than the rumors say. No thanks on the rematch. For now, I just want to go home and sleep like the dead.

***

Unfortunately, this is no time for a nap. After a short break, I return to the agency to report what happened. In the company’s infirmary, I have my stomach wound temporarily patched up, then head to the office. That’s where I find Dazai sipping on some tea as if he was relaxing after a hard day’s work.

“Dazai, you caught the taxi driver, right?”

“Of course. I tied him right up and handed him off to the police. He was actually thrilled that the Mafia wouldn’t be able to assassinate him anymore.” I’m relieved. It appears Dazai isn’t as stupid as I originally thought. I was almost worried that he knew it was the Mafia attacking us and used chasing the kidnapper as an excuse to escape. Nevertheless, everything ended up working out, so I guess it was just a groundless fear.

“It looks like the taxi driver will be charged for the series of kidnappings. Case closed.”

I worked my fingers to the bone on this case, and in return, I get paid nothing. The military police will toss us a letter of thanks and a small gift as an expression of their gratitude, and that will be the end of it. Good grief.

“I don’t feel like working anymore. Let’s get today’s tasks over with and go out for a drink.”

“Your treat?” Dazai asks, beaming with joy.

“You’re a real piece of work. I’ll pay, but you better work your ass off tomorrow.”

I return to my desk and take care of my remaining duties. I skim through some documents that are being passed around, then make a few business calls. After that, I start recording the case’s details until inadvertently glancing at my work computer and noticing I got an e-mail. Paying little attention, I begin to follow the sentences with my eyes. After finishing the e- mail, I start over from the beginning.

“Dazai.”

The moment I call for him is the moment I realize I’ve been holding my breath.

“We’ll have to take a rain check on those drinks. We’ve got work to do.” “Whaaat? But I was all ready to drink. There’s a hole in my stomach shaped exactly like a cup of sake.”

“We got a job offer…from the anonymous client who lured us into the abandoned hospital.”

My throat is dry, and my tongue is stuck in place. The next words don’t want to come out.

“It’s a request to defuse a bomb. If we don’t find and defuse it by sundown tomorrow, over one hundred people will die.”

***

[blueempty]

The wind was doin that shit that blew Piglet clear across the Hundred Acre Wood

We had a big day out with our friend today 👋 she got me some fancy Matcha from Japan and I'm going to be so picky about my water and milk with this stuff

Driving wasn't too stressful today. There were a few crazy people swerving around me cuz 80mph wasnt fast enough but having people in the car to talk to helps keep your mind off it. I was getting a little too sleepy on the way home cuz I didnt sleep much last night but its not my first time driving home from the city half asleep and surely it will not be my last

On top of the wind there were a ton of birds flying around chirping and hunting for crumbs. Then while we were watching the little birds a big bird with a fish flew by. With those and the dogs that were out it was the most wildlife any of us have seen in a while I think lol

I'm gonna try to be brave and sleep so I can get to work before 5pm tomorrow. Having Slice and Dice on my phone is dangerous cuz it is an infinite video game and its very fun. Theres actually an option to turn on an on screen clock and the description when you hover over it is something like "people kept telling me the game was making them late to work". I really like games made by one guy when they start talking to you through the options

I drew a new discord icon for myself too and i think the way I draw normally is not suited to that sort of thing. Which sucks cuz I wish i could do emote and icon comissions but I need to work on drawing on a 400x400 pixel canvas some more. The icon came out good, its just like, I was working with an existing image. Making something new might be tough

Peace and Long Life

[bluerevs]

             you  can’t  digest  alcohol  .  it’s  metabolized  ,  swept  away  from  the  stomach  lining  and  specially  delivered  to  each  and  every  organ  from  the  bloodstream  .  it’s  a  toxin  ,  a  threat  that  river’s  body  is  inherently  inclined  to  neutralize  .  he’s  been  told  all  of  this  many  times  before  in  many  different  ways,  long  and  short,  with  scientific  definitions  and  child-like  layman's  .  needless  to  say  ,  he  knows  its  effects  on  the  mind;  how  it  only  takes  five  minutes  to  reach  the  brain  ,  how  it  shows  its  effects  in  ten  .  but  no  one  ever  mentions  the  way  it  forces  him  to  see  through  a  shiny  gossamer  blur  ,  how  it  can  make  things  go  quiet  .  truthfully  ,  he’d  never  given  the  idea  of  pulling  himself  together  much  thought  .  not  until  lately  ,  anyway  .  so  when  she  mentions  shaking  in  his  boots  ,  his  mind  immediately  runs  to  his  withdrawal  tremors  ,  and  a  thick  and  weighty  shame  sinks  river’s  bones  .  of  course  she  noticed  .  these  shakes  were  getting  harder  to  hide  .  all  this  served  as  proof  that  he  had  been  here  too  long  ,  said  too  much  .  river  could  feel  that  once  heavy  fog  over  his  mind  starting  to  quickly  evaporate  ,  layer  by  painstaking  layer  .  there  was  an  instinctual  urge  to  stand  up  ,  to  find  an  excuse  to  leave  —  yet  he  remained  rooted  .  he  lets  out  a  small  laugh  while  her  index  finger  catches  his  peripheral  ,  and  works  damn  hard  to  ignore  the  way  the  slightest  graze  of  the  pad  of  her  finger  burns  his  skin  in  the  way  the  best  things  tend  to  .  "  you  really  have  become  non-disposable  ,  "  he  affirms  ,  looking  at  her  in  a  fleeting  moment  of  bravery  .  it’s  all  he  can  say  .  maybe  if  he  could  metabolize  those  drinks  faster  ,  or  if  the  two  of  them  were  a  few  inches  further  apart  ,  he  could  think  clearer  .  yet  ,  even  in  his  clearest  moments  ,  river  still  probably  couldn’t  apply  language  to  the  way  it  felt  to  have  his  dream  interpreted  into  anything  else  other  than  what  he  believed  to  be  a  sentence  ,  a  premonition  of  his  future  .  he  never  thought  of  himself  as  a  person  with  the  luxury  of  a  choice  .  “  and  you  think  i  won’t  miss  this  ?  that  it  all  ends  here  for  me  ?  ”  he’s  quick  to  shoot  back  ,  but  that  previous  bravery  is  long  gone  ,  river  looking  out  at  the  view  in  front  of  them  once  more  .  “  tomorrow  ,  i’ll  be  maudlin  and  hungover  .  not  even  at  all  ,  i’d  say  .  ”  a  huff  of  a  laugh  follows  ,  but  he’s  mostly  just  frustrated  .  god  ,  he  wished  he  could  draw  up  the  right  words  ,  what  he  actually  wanted  to  say  ,  what  always  seemed  so  stunningly  simple  when  he  would  go  home  and  try  to  conjure  up  her  face  in  his  mind  .  maybe  he  set  the  bar  too  high  in  moments  like  these  ,  or  maybe  there  was  always  a  failure  in  realizing  the  imagination  :  in  capturing  the  grit  of  it  .  still,   even  if  it  felt  impossible  ,  he  decided  to  try  anyway  .  “  you  said  before  that  being  seen  is  daunting  …  and  i  see  you  .  i  see  how  you  put  people  first  ,  the  way  your  emotion  can  exhaust  you  ,  how  you’re  good  -  through  and  through  .  i’m  not  like  that  ,  i  don’t  think  .  i  wish  i  was  .  ”  there’s  a  notch  in  his  throat  ,  as  if  he  suddenly  could  cry  .  amid  this  conversation  of  feeling  known  ,  river  wondered  how  much  cass  really  did  know  about  him  .  if  she  saw  all  of  his  ugly,  if  she  could  understand  the  depth  of  it  .  “  do  you…  see  me  ,  though  ?  "  the  falling  intonation  of  his  voice  is  a  clear  showcase  that  he’d  regretted  the  question  before  he  could  finish  asking  it  . 

emotions being stripped raw begins to take a toll , cass feeling overly exposed and nearly reaching a point of insecurity . there was no rescinding these confessions but her inner voice reminds her that lightning rarely struck twice , wanting to take full advantage of tonight . the bundle of nerves in her stomach work their way north , settling in the back of her throat until it’s a feat to swallow . his unexpected laugh causes the sensation to dissipate enough to speak . “ you don’t exactly read as shaking in your boots when you see me either . ” searches for anything to ward off a return of that uncomfortable feeling in her larynx , head angling just the slightest to catch the scent of his sleeve to ground her . “ i'm obviously not afraid of you but the entire ordeal of being seen is . . . daunting . ” that subtle change in wording feels like a better fit . “ it’s funny . . . you wait for someone to finally get a grasp on who you are and when you finally find it , you almost don’t know what to do with it . ” all cass is certain of when it came to this — and whatever it was gradually unraveling to be —  is that she’s going to nurture it with the finest care . even in moments where uncertainty reigned and hesitancy threatened to shroud them , she’d ensure they had space to exist . her head lifts slowly , feeling as though it's been filled with lead , to place herself in his dream as a bystander . her eyes sting with the unexpected prick of tears , no tears falling but hues growing glassy as they pool . it's a vision with a central theme that reverberates within the deepest part of herself , every reply she can put together feeling inadequate . “ i assume not many people want you to even consider taking the left . . . ” it carries a hinted double - meaning , referring to his lifestyle and the possibility of having cass in his life beyond these drunken in - betweens . “ maybe you couldn’t take the left in the dream because it's not meant to be walked alone . ”  she hopes she doesn’t sound childishly optimistic but that level of uncertainty can't be explored by just one person . river had already proven that to her . “ i hope more people will make you feel safe enough to consider taking the left eventually but i like being the only one for now . i’m non - disposable , ” she half - jokes , buying a moment by moving a stray curl away from his forehead with her index finger . “ but i’m always here when you want to venture to the left a little . ” a hint of a smile curls the corner of her lips , feeling nostalgic for a moment that isn't over yet . “ i think i’m going to miss this tomorrow . . . ” of all things said , that sentiment feels like the one thing she shouldn’t have shared . “ but you’ll be hungover and i won’t be so . . . maybe it’s even . ” it’s punctuated with a laugh , hoping to conceal the severity of her emotions with a sliver of humor . 

[neovisioned]

♡ꜜ broken mirrors﹫jaehyun jung

pairing : jaehyun x reader (f), ft. nct dream and johnny. 

genre : angst, smut, horror-ish, cursed!jaehyun, (kind of bloody mary!au), college!au. 

warnings : jaehyun is meant to be kind of twisted, some toxic and manipulative behaviour from him, black magic, mentions of rituals, mentions of blood, mentions of murder, mention of anxiety, voyeurism, choking, guided masturbation, degradation, pet names : doll, darling, kid, reminder jaehyun is an entity from the victorian era, reader is kind of reckless and impulsive. 

word count : 25k exactly. 

synopsis : where your college friends recall a creepy legend known around your university about a man that appears in mirrors and grants you two wishes when summoned. Jisung is dared to say his name three times and see what happens. you at first brush it off as some copy of bloody mary but, when your friend chickens out and swears something happened in that bathroom, you can’t deny the shift in atmosphere everyone felt. once in your dorm, the urge to try it out mixed with fear pushes you over the edge. it’s probably fake anyways, right ? you summon Jung Jaehyun in the middle of the night, on your bed, and he is not what you expected him to be. 

a/n : this was supposed to be a short one shot, lol. reminder this isn’t an all pink story. for the people who’ve read my other stuff, it’s quite different from what i usually write ! also, this isn’t proofread. in case tags don’t work : @nct-writers​ @neowritingsnet​ @thekpopnet​.

“Do you seriously believe in this kind of shit ?” laughs Jeno, a bit too loudly for the other students probably peacefully resting in the dorms right next to his. One hand covers the economics student’s mouth, visibly chewing on some chips and guacamole freshly made for tonight. Jaemin whines at the obvious joke his friend is making him out to be in front of everyone, a pout on his rosy lips. Poor thing, a dusty pink colors his cheeks – noticeable despite the low lighting of Jeno’s room - he looks down at the half empty plate, crumbs of potatoes on the ceramic.

“At least let me tell the story !”, Jaemin argues, slapping the red haired’s hand away. Stealing one of the last larger chips, Jaemin dips it in the smashed avocado. The blonde eats his chip almost aggressively, a victorious noise coming out of his closed mouth when Jeno notices the little amount of guacamole he left for him. 

“We were supposed to watch a scary movie, telling creepy stories’ the next best option.”, you say, leaning back against your friend’s Fatboy. Tonight was yet another one of these half improvised movie nights with your college friends. Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, Jisung, Chenle and Donghyuck were all in your campus, in different courses and yet, you all managed to come together in one tight neck group. Every week, one member of the group would host a little something to celebrate…not dying ? Yeah, something like that.  

Thursday, tonight was obviously Jeno’s turn to hold the gathering, he had proposed a nice horror movie night but, Jisung, a language student, ended up chickening out after hearing the movie’s synopsis. You don’t really blame him, though, the story was meant to keep its viewers up for nights. 

“Jisung’s a pussy !”, Donghyuck teases the young man, a hand ruffling his peach hair to annoy him even more. “I have things to do tomorrow and I need my sleep !”, he defends himself for the nth time tonight, a new argument each time. The other boys aren’t really bothered by the change, movies usually get lost in the group’s banter and casual conversations anyways. You can count on two hands the number of movies you entirely watched with your friends. 

“He’s gonna get scared by some stories, too.”, the brunette continues his teasing like he usually does. Jisung pushes him to the side as an answer, before crossing his arms over his chest. Like everyone else, he’s already wearing his pyjamas, his and everyone else’s dorm room is in the same building and so, everyone could get to their bed in minutes, if not seconds.

“He’s going to knock at your door tonight, Y/N.”, Jeno joins in, all very well knowing that the peach haired’s dorm is right next to yours, seconds away. There’s a snore from Donghyuck, slapping a hand on the wooden table as he adds something to the conversation too, one you don’t catch. “Oh no, don’t. But I can give you a plushie if you’re really scared.”, you join in before immediately wrapping an arm around your friend for comfort.

“’m joking. Come on, what’s your story, Jaemin.”, you hum, letting Jisung lean his head against your shoulder with a whine, pout on his pink lips. 

“Lets do one each, yeah ? I have a story to tell and we’ll see who will really need a plushie.”, taunts the young man at your side, though no one truly believes him at first. Jisung, having scary stories to tell ? Hard to believe. 

“Wait ! We need to get in the mood !”, interjects Jaemin, getting up from his position on the floor. He easily navigates in the room with Jeno, like a third home. The first closes all windows, pushes curtains and turns off any lights to, like he said, get in the creepy mood. 

“H-Hey ! Can we at least keep one on ?”, Chenle joins the peach haired as a laughing point for the other boys, but Jaemin quickly obliges and lets the light of the small bathroom on for his friend, you suspect he didn’t like the complete lack of light either. You can barely see the front door from your spot, the yellowish light easily drowns the group in the storytelling atmosphere and, Jaemin joins the group again. “Wait, one last thing !”, searching for something in a drawer next to his bed, Jeno ends up taking a red candle out with a victorious sound. It hasn’t been touched at all, you inspect it a bit closely when your friend sets it on the wooden table. 

“Got it because of TikTok, it has something in it.”, he mumbles out, running a hand in his dyed hair, almost embarrassed. You wonder again how almost everyone in this group has their hair a different shade of some unnatural colour and yet, dried locks aren’t falling out on the dorm floor - yet. Thumb on his lighter, Jeno tries a few times before he gets a flame steady enough, bringing it to the white thread sticking out of his impulsive purchase.

“There, now we’re in the mood.”, proud of his little setup, the red haired sits down again, a small giggle escaping his lips at Chenle’s frightened look, already sheltering himself with his arms. The candle smells like strawberries, tall flame wavering under your friends’ breaths, the red haired slaps your hand away when you try to dig in the melted wax for the mystery treasure with one of his forks. 

“Now, Jaemin ! Let us hear your story.”, slapping his hands together, Donghyuck leans a bit closer to the center of the table. It is no secret in the group that Donghyuck has a love for scary stories and anything crime related, it seems he has been waiting for this moment. His face gets enlightened by the small candle, a weird angle that changed his features. “Try and scare us.”, the dance student challenged. 

Jisung’s arm wraps and tightens around your own when Jaemin takes the little light in his own hands, bringing the flame under his face. “Alright, do you guys know what’s a…Banshee ?”, his last word comes out as a whisper, letting the last syllable hang in the air for a few. “Oh, no.”, Renjun’s head rolls back, it rests against Jeno’s bed for a bit as he squeezes his eyes shut, whining in almost pain.  “Oh, yes. Renjun knows this story.”, remembers Jaemin, a smile stretching his lips, devilish. Everyone else comes a bit closer to the table, curiosity poked by Renjun’s natural reaction. You’re the only one shaking your head from left to right, but you doubt the others know about what the storyteller’s talking about. 

“A Banshee’s a female spirit whose wailing warns of a death in a house.”, starts Jaemin, hands dancing around the small flame, probably enjoying the heat, drawing slight shadows on the walls. He pays no attention to the small gasp falling from Chenle’s lips, about to continue. “Wow, Wikipedia. Big boy words.”, notifies Jeno, earning a death glare by the narrator. 

“It happened years ago, me and my family were on vacation in Ireland. You guys know, I have some relatives there. It was for a wedding, so all my cousins and I were staying at my Uncle’s house.”, finally starts Jaemin, voice a lot quieter. The young medicine student easily gets the entire group captivated with his words and aura. Even Renjun who already knows this story, even Jisung who usually, does not like scary tales. It is clear the intimate aspect of a story lived by a friend helps a lot, it isn’t anything mainstream or heard before, it adds to the mystery. For the next minutes, the young man tells his story with as much seriousness as he can, keeping the candle right under his face.  

“We were all around the ages of ten and thirteen, my Uncle’s house was deep in the Irish country side. I remember that parents would all sleep on the first floor and let us have the second for big sleepovers. So, my cousins and I would stay late and watch horror movies. I mean, you let kids alone, obviously they’re going to stay up late, right ?” Haechan only agrees while Jisung lets about a “this isn’t starting very well.”, eyebrows furrowed, cheek rubbing against your shoulder. “But eventually, my Uncle would come up and switch off the TV. You guys don’t know him but he’s...Special. He wouldn’t walk us to bed right away, he’d tell us about Banshees. Irish spirits, he’d describe them to us. A fragile, old woman with ripped clothes. Black hair down to her feet, sickly white skin and a veil over her red, bloody eyes.” Jaemin lets the description sink in, your face contours at the thought, you don’t have to look at Jisung to know he has the same expression on his. Donghyuck, him, is smiling a bit too much, leaning closer to the narrator for more. Jeno is strangely afraid too, towing with a loose thread sticking out of his blanket.  “Her screams have one meaning. Someone is going to die.”, Jaemin dramatically lets out the last word, keeping a straight, serious face even when Donghyuck cooes. “I hate this.”, you mumble out, to which Jisung agrees. “My Uncle would tell us about how clocks would stop, all of a sudden, fall off walls and crash on the floor before hearing a Banshee. Lights would turn on and off, flicker, doors would fly open without a breeze and slap against the walls. Paintings and pictures would fall down. He’d describe the keening as high pitch sounds, it’d pierce your soul and make every hair on your body stand.” Another pause, it’s clear Jaemin already told this story. There, he mimics the sound of a keening Banshee. And, if you think he’d sound silly, he does. High pitched is not a sound your friend can achieve and, it takes a few laughs here and there. Chenle visibly relaxes, back leaning away from the Fatboy. “He’d then walk us to bed after his Banshee story and we’d stay awake out of fear, you know. Just staring outside the windows, at the dark, Irish country side. Pitch black, no lights, tall - tall trees. It was during the winter, a wedding in the snow. And so, his big garden would be fogged up. A dense, white fog, we could barely see anything.”

The small flame grows taller, it wavers again under Jaemin’s words, light dancing on the red haired’s table. “One night, after my Uncle walked us to bed, me and my cousins were looking outside when we saw it.” Jisung shivers next to you without even hearing the rest, you almost giggle at his reaction. Both the narrator’s palms softly hit the table before he continues. A sound leaves his lips, like the image his memory is forming in front of his eyelids is enough to scare him. “We saw one.”, Jaemin finally announces. 

In another situation, Donghyuck would be the first one to deny or refute Jaemin’s words. No you didn’t, you almost say but, your lips part for a second, without a sound. Hyper focusing on your friend, you can’t deny the slight shiver that runs down your spine when he continues. “Red, glowy eyes. Right under a tree. She was wearing a white dress and just like Uncle said. She was taller than Uncle described, she could probably easily touch the tall branches of the trees. Skinny, lanky body, we couldn’t see if she had a veil or if it was ripped.” There’s a pause again, Jaemin looks at the clock right behind you and you can not help it, you turn around just in case. “The clock stopped.” Fortunately, he isn’t talking about Jeno’s. 

“No.”, the red haired whispers out but, Jaemin does not even look at him, continuing his story. 

“She wasn’t moving, just standing...there. White dress, black hair. We couldn’t see exactly where she was looking at but it was clear she was staring at our house. And then…”, for a second time, the young man mimics a Banshee’s scream but, it’s too good this time. It’s quiet enough that he does not bother Jeno’s neighbors, but high pitched and blood drenching. The quiet scream is drawn out, Jaemin leans on his palms and elevates himself before he’s out of breath, stopping abruptly. “Dude.”, you whisper out, getting a look from Jisung.  

“And then. She disappeared. We saw her walking between the house and my Uncle’s neighbor’s house. It was so weird, she wasn’t slow, she was walking quickly, so quickly. But it was like her knees weren’t in place, her legs would twitch to the side every now and then.”, Jaemin sits down again, looking at each of his friends in the eyes. You didn’t know he was this good at storytelling, you have to keep yourself from picturing this tall, lanky woman quickly walking in the dark. “We locked all the doors, closed all the windows. We were so scared, we would look at each other like…‘who’s going to die tonight ?’”

“Shut it, no one died.”, the red haired lets out, sentence rushed. But, Renjun finally speaks up, throwing a balled up tissue at your friend, one he cannot dodge, getting hit right on his forehead. “Sht and listen.” 

“We did not sleep at all that night and…”, you almost hit the medicine student at the nth pause, you can’t deny the fact that he has you at the edge of your metaphorical seat. “The next morning, my Uncle found our neighbour. Dead.” 

There’s a gasp from everyone, your eyebrow’s and Donghyuck’s raise up and before you can speak up, Renjun whispers at you to just “wait for the next part.” You hear one of your friends babbling about how it’s all bullshit, but Jaemin never leaves his narrator persona. “We told my Uncle about the Banshee, he had heard it too and since nothing happened to us or our parents, he went to his neighbors’ house. Both really believed in these kind of things, these Irish legends. He was found in his little sofa, turned towards his window. He didn’t have any heart problems but apparently, his heart stopped during the night. My dad told me a bit more two years ago, he was found with his eyes...Wide open.”

The moment Jaemin finishes his little story, questions fly from each side of the table and your friend answers quickly, like he was ready for each one of them. “You can call my mom and ask her about it if you want to, Donghyuck.”, the confidence the medicine student has in his story is enough for the brunette. A nice story to start on, you all note, but the neighbor’s death was probably a weird coincidence, right ? At the very least, that’s what you’d like to think. Finally, when everyone calmed down from Jaemin’s story, he pushed the candle towards Jisung. “Your turn, you said you had a story to tell.” 

Your friend nods quickly, hands resting on the pyramide shape of the candle, frowning at the layer of wax it leaves on his palms. A little pool of melting wax is forming at the top and you wonder for a moment if it’s not going to spill on the table. Everyone’s attention turns towards the new narrator, Jaemin finding a new comfortable position on the floor. “Alright, uh. I don’t have the same storytelling skills as Jaemin and it isn’t the same type of story. You guys know Eric, right ?”, he starts, receiving some hums from Jeno and Jaemin. 

“Eric the Eerie ?”, you ask, almost in disbelief at the mention. At the nickname, Donghyuck almost bursts out laughing, leaning his forehead against Jeno’s table and Renjun pouts a bit at the lack of seriousness his story is already receiving. “Yes, him. The old Litterature student.”, affirms Renjun. You remember the guy, tall and lanky, legend has it that he suddenly went from the bottom of his class to the very top almost overnight, collecting amazing grades after amazing grades. No one knew how he did it. Plus, he was a bit weird. It might seem a bit mean but, his appearance didn’t help and, he would not talk to anyone either, he avoided big bodies of water and mirrors, you doubt he had any friend here, too. He’d apparently sit in the back of his class and, when he graduated, he took his diploma first and left. Nowhere to be seen now. 

“Didn’t he graduate last year ?”, Jaemin asks, grabbing a bottle of juice from the side. Even in the dark, he is able to pour himself a glass full without spilling it everywhere.

“He did, yeah. Did you guys hear about the legend ? The one around how he got his grades up ?”, there’s a sound coming from your mouth, half confused and half intrigued. “Uh ?” Jaemin hums loudly, the sound resonates between the walls of his glass as his eyes blow wide for a second. “The Yoonoh thing ? I heard about that but not in details.” Apparently, Jaemin isn’t the only one who recalls the name. It is one you and all your friends have heard before, right when you entered your university. It wasn’t mentioned in the flyers or, by the teachers, even. It was first brought up during a party hosted by older students, one where they all told you about the campus’ legends and stories. 

“His name’s written all over the walls of the old building. Also, it’s in the main building’s restroom, I think.”, Renjun informs and your memory clicks. Your university has many buildings but, one of them, a bit further away from the campus, is abandoned. It has been for years now but you and your friends decided to visit it out of curiosity during your first year, a bit after the party. You could say it was pretty underwhelming, nothing too special if it wasn’t for old structures and dirty floors. Empty classes and weird smells, like any other abandoned places, you could say. You remember the same name being written over and over again on the walls, the desks, some mirrors. Younger you thought it was only a weird legend older students used to scare the new ones.

“Oh, right. What about it ?”, Jeno asks, eyebrows raising a bit at the new storyteller. 

“Do you guys remember the legend ?”, you nod again and, help your other friends remember the old tale. Once upon a time, a man cursed, cursed in mirrors forever. Able to travel from room to room, forced to appear whenever properly summoned by someone. How did he end up with such a faith ? You do not know or, maybe you don’t remember what your older friends told you. Yoonoh was - or is -, his name. Much like Bloody Mary, call his name three times and he’ll eat your reflection, take your place in your mirror and offer you two wishes. Two and not three, the last one he keeps to himself, he’ll ask for something in return. The rest of the story is quite blurry, it changed from course to course. Some people said he’d trap people in mirrors, other that he was a creepy, demonic looking creature asking for quite gory things. You had to say, when the story was told the night of the party, you got a bit creeped out but, you forgot about it since. 

“Apparently, Eric summoned him. Midway through the school year, he summoned him in his bedroom and used one of his two wishes for better grades. The first wish was granted but, Yoonoh wanted Eric to sacrifice a friend to him. No one knows if he managed to do it or not, apparently he didn’t use his second wish and since, Yoonoh follows him everywhere he goes.”, Renjun dramatically says but, the effect isn’t one he anticipated for his little story. There’s a laugh from Donghyuck, quickly followed by Jeno. “C’mon dude, we wanted a scary story.”, interjects the medicine student and, you only hide your chuckle by drinking your juice. Poor Renjun pouts, trying to regain the attention of his friends. “Wait, listen ! Doesn't it make sense ? Like...Like, I see it happening.”, big pearly eyes find Jisung for some support, but his friend only looks away to hide his smile too. 

“That story’s bullshit, I thought you knew.”, Jaemin finally says, sighing a little. 

“But the grades going up ? How he’d dodge mirrors like the plague ? He even took the mirror from his bathroom and bedroom out.”, Renjun argues, leaning a bit too closely to the small flame. You wonder for a moment who exactly, decided to take advantage of your gullible friend. “It’s fake.”, Jisung says again, mimicking your friend. He gets a death glare from the fallen storyteller who didn’t have the throne for too long, pushing the candle to the center of the table.

“Alright…”, he starts, palms flat on the flat surface. Renjun plants his eyes into Jisung’s, small smile tugging at his lips at the thought crossing his mind. “I dare you to summon him.”

Oh, your friends still act like teenage boys. You don’t blame them, quite the contrary, you join them when they almost scream at the challenge thrown out. Everyone knows Jisung never turns a dare down, it probably has to do with his pride. But tonight, tonight might be the first time he does. Eyes scanning everyone, Jisung takes a bit too long to answer. There’s a bunch of “do it”’s from around the table, Jeno and Jaemin weirdly dancing to the beat of your words. 

“Yoonoh ? Dude…”, eyes blown wide, he looks around at the uproar the narrator created, almost sending daggers. “I thought it was bullshit ?”, sarcastically asks Renjun, propping his chin on his hand, still on the table. Donghyuck calls him a chicken after some seconds of thinking and, this does it for Jisung’s pride and ego. 

“He’s gonna do it !”, Jeno chokes out, hands thrown in the air in victory. The medicine student at his side takes the lit candle in his palms and offers it to Jisung once he finally stands up with an audible sigh, head low like a knight in front of a Queen. “It’s...fake anyways.”, he reassures himself alone, brushing his pyjamas. Slowly walking towards the dimly lit bathroom, Jisung quickly looks behind him to see if anyone stops him. Clearly, no one does. 

“Do you remember how to do it ?”, Renjun asks, not even hiding his smile at Jisung’s obvious lack of confidence, a first. Shaking his head from left to right, Renjun quickly writes it down on a piece of paper, himself not daring saying it out loud. Standing up like the rest of your group, you look over your friend’s shoulder. He’s writing a few sentences down by memory, sentences you remember from the first university party. 

“Mirror, mirror, mirror. Take my reflection as home. Show me my deepest, darkest desires. Give to me, take from me. Yoonoh, Yoonoh, Y…” 

“I didn’t want to write his name three times.”, Renjun mumbles out, handing the small piece of paper to your friend, waiting in front of the bathroom door. You audibly laugh at his confession, poking Donghyuck with your elbow to react his words. “And I am the chicken ?”, Jisung asks a bit too offended, to which Jeno only pushes him inside the room. “I never said I wasn’t !” 

Jeno tries to close the door behind him as quickly as possible but, Jisung is quicker and blocks the attempt with an arm, frightened look flashing in his eyes for a second, he already hates this. His mouth falls open the moment you turn the light off, only lit by the small candle and Jaemin’s phone’s light. “Do I have to ?”, he whines, quickly looking behind him. All the dorms have the same bathroom, small and packed, it seems Jisung never saw his bathroom in the dark or maybe, the candle lit adds to the creepiness. “Yes, you have to !”, it’s almost a harmony between you and Chenle and, with Jaemin’s help, the door gets closed and traps Jisung in the small room. Poor thing, you hear him let a whine out while your friends giggle, tapping on the door. 

“C’mon, Jisung.”, Jaemin pushes him on and, you hear him mumble something on the other side. Finally, silence. Jisung probably sets the candle down, whines again about how he can’t read your friend’s handwriting. After a few minutes, he mumbles a few things again, voice audibly shaky. Jeno lets his nails travel down the painted wood of his door and, the poor thing reacts, loudly tapping the door. 

“Is he doing it ?”, you ask quietly, ear to the door. “I think ?”, Donghyuck can only guess before he gestures to his friends to back away and stay silent. In Jeno’s dorm, badly lit, all packed in front of his door, you think it’s all fun and games. Finally, you hear Jisung say the first words with an ounce of confidence, clearing his throat every now and then, mirror, mirror, mirror. Your eyes grow wide, palms slightly sweaty, you have to rub them against your pyjama pants and crouch a bit down. He reads almost like a robot, a monotone voice he uses to add some humor in all of it, act nonchalant when you’re pretty sure he’s shitting himself in there. However, when you hear the second to last sentence, your blood rushes through your veins, he sounds different, like he’s finally taking it all seriously. It’s weird, your brain is convinced nothing is going to happen and yet, your heart races for him and the possibilities of what can happen between these four walls. You were never the one to believe in such things but, the adrenaline and thrill always got to you, always managed to scare you a bit and keep you up at night. It seems the situation does the same to your friends. Quickly, flashlights join Jaemin’s, you even see Chenle biting down on his lower lip, backing a bit away. At this very moment, you don’t know it yet but, your friend has a weird feeling greeting up his chest. Yoonoh, you hear him say his name once, you fake not feeling the air grow colder around you, goosebumps rising on your nakes arms, it’s probably the open wind-. You remember Jaemin closing every window before starting his story. A second time, Jisung sounds breathless, hesitant to let the word out, even. You almost open the door to let him out but you’re stuck there, unable to move anything but your eyes. Stuck in place, it seems like long minutes go by between your friend’s words. Quickly, you look over at the clock hung up on Jeno’s wall, the very one you thought would fall down during the medicine student’s story and...Is it...Slowing down ? Say it a third time and get out of here, you think to yourself, suddenly feeling sweat gathering on your body. Hairline, back, you fan yourself with your hand but nothing changes. It sounds like he tries to, syllable forming on his lips but nothing more gets out. He tries once, and never finishes. There’s a shiver that runs down your spine, you instinctively glare at Jaemin who stares at the plain door almost too intensively, you see his Adam’s Apple difficulty move up, and down, like he himself, feels the weird shift in atmosphere. When did this dumb dare turn so serious ? Something isn’t right, you don’t dare mention it at that moment, you don’t think you need to anyways. He isn’t able to let the last word out, silence on the other side, you almost think he’s pulling a prank on you before you hear it. You all hear a commotion, you hear Jisung thumble backwards and crash into one of Jeno’s furniture. 

“What the fu-.”, before Donghyuck can even finish his sentence, the door abruptly opens, forcing everyone away from the entrance, your back crashes into Jeno’s chest who stood right behind you. A scared Jisung tumbles out the small room, almost running as fast as possible before letting his body fall on one of the Fatboys with a sound. 

“Dude, what the fuck ?”, Jeno asks, half terrified and half amused, he doesn’t know what to feel yet. Jisung barely answers, he wonders for a moment if his friends won’t make fun of him for what’s going on in his mind. “Something touched me. Something touched me in there.”, he chokes out, breathing chopped. You know, you know Donghyuck is about to make fun of him before he walks towards the man, taken back by the genuinely afraid look he has on his face. “Wha- ? Are you okay ?”, he asks, palm resting on his friend’s upper arm in an attempt to calm him down. 

Your attention gets grabbed by the still open door, you wouldn’t dare say it out loud but, there’s something strange about it. Pulled towards it, your eyes leave your visibly and audibly afraid friend for the dark place. You almost fear going inside and, you only look up at the dark room without entering, something in your body tells you not to. Staying right in front, it’s like you feel the shift in temperature between the living room and bathroom. Why does the bathroom look so...dark ? You barely register it, how the flashlights of your friends’ phones get absorbed by the darkness inside the smaller room, only lit by the small candle. It’s probably your brain, you think to yourself. A brain can do weird things to itself, it can imagine, create but, you’re sure you’re not hallucinating when you see the candle’s flame growing taller, wavering violently before eventually, getting blown. No wind, nothing, the pale trail of grey smoke flies straight upwards and you quickly back away, closing the door behind you in hopes of ending anything that went on in there. 

“Here, here. Look !”, in the meantime, your entire group had gathered around Jisung, amused looks turned into worried ones at his twisted body on the coach. Jisung pulls his short sleeve up and, under Chenle’s flashlight, you think you might hallucinate again. Milky skin glows under the living room’s artificial light when Jaemin turns it on, it contrasts deeply with his epiderme but your brain would rather make anything up than believe your eyes. A light pink, slowly growing a deeper shade of red, five fingerprints around your friend’s arm mark his skin. 

It’s almost two in the morning when your phone rings to the tune of a few texts, screen lightening with a notification from your beloved friend group chat. Body and mind trying its best to rest on your small bed, your eyes travel from your thin, white ceiling to your phone when you bring it up to your face, risking it falling straight on your nose. You quickly swipe a finger on the object and read the last text Jeno sent, something about wanting Jisung to take a shower and rest for the night, quickly followed by your other friends’ words. 

There’s a sigh tumbling from your lips, the slight headache taking place right on your temples makes you want to bury your face right under your pillow but your small dorm is hot, way too hot for that. Window wide open, there isn’t an ounce of wind entering your room. You hate the feeling of sweat growing on your forehead, on your back, fabric sticking to your skin just like it did in front of Jeno’s bathroom. You feel drained, so, so drained. It is something you’re used to, especially after a full week of classes and a night with your friend but tonight, something feels different. There’s something off about your room, it doesn’t feel the same. You aren’t being watched, you know that, but you sure feel like it. Oppressed, stuck in such a small space, you’ve been rolling around your bed for minutes now, unable to sleep. After what happened in Jeno’s own dorm, natural instincts kicked in. All tried to find an excuse for what happened to Jisung, saying maybe your friend got the marks from bumping into the furniture, maybe he got these before even entering the room. Poor thing decided to let himself be convinced by the hypothesis thrown at him but, you couldn’t really understand everything else. The change in temperature, the lack of light, the candle blowing itself out, you can’t find a single excuse except maybe, just maybe, your mind’s playing tricks on you. 

Your thumbs quickly work to type a message for your friend before you drop your device on your bed. Overthinking, that probably is what’s keeping you from falling asleep. It’s crazy, the number of videos around paranormal things you and Donghyuck watched together and yet, you two didn’t think about the rules before starting this stupid dare. Beating yourself up for not taking it seriously, you now remember how you’re supposed to say goodbye whenever starting a seance of Ouija. How you should not disrespect entities, know and do everything by the rules. You almost text Donghyuck about it but, you fear sounding too crazy. 

Instead of Donghyuck, you text Johnny. It’s the urge of knowing more, the curiosity growing in your belly that you did not expect. The tall man’s one of the older students who told you about Yoonoh’s legend during the first party, he studies psychology in your building and you two became quite good friends after a while. He would help little you with administration but also, showed you some spots you still go to, to this day. Good friends, so much so you know he isn’t sleeping at such an hour. And, you don’t feel too guilty when you text him about the legend, almost completely out of the blue. Needless to say, the brunette was a bit taken back by the question. You saw it through his texts, but he quickly told you about all the things he knew and heard around the university legend. The same sentences your friend wrote on a piece of paper, the same Jisung was close to saying fully. A candle, like Jeno unknowingly provided and the young man took to the bathroom. But, there was one thing missing, or rather, two. The one who summons Yoonoh shall write their name on the mirror, clearly and without a mistake. Second, both palms have to be placed on the mirror. Flat, you don’t think you’re allowed to move them while reciting what you’d call a spell, much like on a Ouija board. All the things missing and yet, you still felt a slight shift in Jeno’s dorm, didn’t you ? 

Turning your phone off once you wishing Johnny a good night, you find yourself turning the device on again, seconds after. Scrolling through your Twitter timeline and switching between the same two applications doesn’t help at all. Push it away, that feeling of being watched comes back like a bull. You hate it, so much. It’s just like the aftermath of watching a scary movie, you reassure yourself. Like that one time you watched Annabelle and slept with all your plushies outside your bedroom with the light open, right ? Sitting up on your bed, you almost feel ashamed when you turn your light on, quickly looking around your small dorm. Nothing’s there, nothing’s there. The slight fear adds to the sweat collecting on your skin, you feel too hot and yet, a cold shiver runs down your spine when your back meets your headboard. “It’s just a legend.”, you tell yourself out loud. One time, two times. Bringing your knees to your chest, your hands quickly grab at the thin sheet before you pull it towards your body, as if it’ll shelter you from anything paranormal. It’s just a legend, you tell yourself again when your eyes meet your reflection. What a stupid idea, having such a big mirror right in front of your bed. It takes all of your wardrobe, you remember loving it when you first moved in, taking advantage of the size for pictures. But now, it only added to your fear. You don’t know where to look, eyes traveling from your own body to the sides of your bed, the corners of your room. At least, nothing can hide in here, you think you’d see it immediately. 

Your father would probably laugh at your face if he saw you right now. See, if your mother might believe in anything paranormal, your father never did and never will. He’d always find a scientific reason for anything weird happening in your house, reassuring you as best as he could. If he was here, what would he say, what would he do ? You ask yourself for a minute, keeping your knees close to your body. 

He’d try it, see for himself and prove that the legend was all bullshit. 

Calling him at such an hour wasn’t even an option, could you do it yourself ? You wonder, eyes glued on the mirror. You can not deny the slight curiosity rising in your chest, building up in your body. It’s weird, a morbid interest that has been sitting with you since Jisung ran out of the bathroom, since you saw the candle blow out by itself. Curious and adventurous, you always thought you were and, wouldn’t trying it help you prove the invalidity of the legend ? 

Legs fall back on the bed, you barely can believe yourself when you stand up on your knees, sinking into your mattress. “Do it and go to bed, surely nothing will happen.”, you coach your reflection. You think it’s a mix of fear, pure curiosity and fatigue. Your body craves sleep and, in your half asleep state of mind, you take advantage of your boost of confidence, pushing away the paranoiac side of your brain. If it was real, more people would talk about it. If it was real, where are all the pictures and videos ? Clumsily stepping out of your bed, your feet touch the cold floor as you drag your body towards your makeup bag, blindly dipping a hand in. An old lipstick would do, right ? Right, you don’t even remember the last time you used this Sephora lipstick. The small candle you probably used twice in your life finds another use tonight as you grab it from your shelf, opening the small lid to clean the small bits of burnt thread. 

A few steps is all you need before you stand in front of your mirror, letting your body rest from the little effort you did when you sit down right in front of it. It’s stupid, so so stupid, you think to yourself. Nothing will happen and you’ll tell this very story to your friends the next day, they’ll make fun of you for it for the next week and all will be good. 

Taking the protection of your old lipstick off, you inspect it with a pout. A shame, such a pretty color you never really wore before the expiration date. The deep red stick comes up when you twist the bottom and you have to resist the urge of trying it on your lips, just to see. Rather, just like Johnny said, you write your name on the mirror. The paste easily leaves a red trace under the pressure of your fingers, it’s almost pleasing if you did not know how long you’ll take to clean it off after. Long sticks, you write your name clearly on the mirror before closing your old lipstick, leaving it at your side. Next, your fingers fumble inside your bag, trying to find your lighter. It’s one you rarely use but keep with you just in case and you quickly turn it on. The small flame dances under your mouvements, bringing the cold candle near your lighter. It quickly starts burning in your hands and you place the object right between your body and the mirror. There’s a sigh from your lips, you can’t believe it yourself when you lean forward, both palms flat on the cold surface. Above your name in red lipstick, you dare look at yourself. Actually, if you look at yourself, your attention won’t drift for the back of your bedroom in fear. And so, keeping your eyes on your reflection’s, you take a deep breath. 

“Mirror, mirror, mirror.” you start off pretty easily, the one word rolling off your tongue without a second thought. Now that you’ve started it, you don’t think you can end everything just like that, you learned everything needs to be closed once started. “Take-...Take my reflection as home.”, you stutter, vision getting blurry for the quickest second. Probably the lack of sleep and fatigue, some water coats your eyes and you blink the teardrops away, finding a clear vision again. You sigh out for a second in an attempt to cool your body down, the same feeling slowly plunges on your shoulders. The one you felt while Jisung was doing the same thing but, this time, you were alone. The change in atmosphere is less abrupt but, you still feel it anyways. The air grows hotter, heavier, dense. 

“Show me my deepest, darkest desires.”, you choke out, feeling your palms sweat up, trying your best to resist the urge to whip them. You shift uncomfortably on your spot, pushing away the goosebumps raising on your naked arms again. Wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible, you push all the signs away and continue, though your confidence runs out quickly. “Give to me, take from me.” The small candle flame flickers, it grows taller and, you have to push it away with a knee to prevent it from burning your clothes. Maybe it’s the open window, right ? But here it is again, the feeling of being watched. You hate it, you almost turn around or just, look behind you through the mirror. Instead, a groan escapes your lips, frustrated at yourself, tired, annoyed, scared.

It seems the two sides of your brain disappeared, your thoughts are radio silent, white noise. Fuck it, fuck it. Panic takes over your next actions, it pushes you over the edge. Closing your eyes, your head hangs low and you say the last words. “Yoonoh.”, you start, closing your eyes even more, forcing your eyelids. You feel it, the sudden presence right behind you, you fucking feel it. Your heart picks up right them, you never felt it pump so quickly against your ribcage. Heat burns your cheeks, your ears, your back. Unconsciously, your head hangs lower, shoulders rise up in a protective, natural reaction. 

It truly feels like someone’s right here, with you and yet, you refuse to look. What the fuck are you doing, why the fuck are you doing this ? A hiccup, the outline of a cry tumbles from your lips. Ah, how the fear managed to wash over you like the rising tide eating at the shore. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck. Teeth tight against each other, your jaw grows sore as you feel the heat of the small candle at your side. Letting your eyes flutter open the slightest bit, it’s when you see the flame violently dance, shaking from different sides that you decide it has to be over, now. 

“Yoono- Yoonoh, Yoonoh.”, you blur them out so quickly it’d be funny in another situation, the sounds are barely separated from each other, barely make sense. Your tongue feels heavy, mouth clumsy when you finish the spell of. Your irregular, hard breathing almost keeps you from hearing. Hearing it. 

Ah, how long Jaehyun - or Yoonoh - waited and longed for such a moment. Actual hours that felt like years for one of you to summon him properly. And, he has to say, he’s glad you were the one to do it, call him over with your pretty voice, fearful eyes and deadly curiosity. He felt it, the morbid interest peeking in your small body, he knew you would do it the moment you noticed the candle blowing out, he knew you weren’t dumb. See, when Jisung had attempted to summon him, he had almost brought Jaehyun to his mirror, he almost did it. He was so close, so close to it that Jaehyun managed to have a blurry view of the odd scene. Needless to say, the cursed had a good laugh at it but, the anger and frustration he felt at your chicken of a friend still lingered. When was the last time someone summoned him ? Jaehyun does not remember, he doesn’t have any notion of time, he lost it long, long ago. When was the last time he had fun with a foolish human ? He does not remember either but, something tells him he will make it up with you. Jaehyun isn’t alive but, the closest of “alive” he can feel, it’s in moments like this, properly summoned, ready for his deal. Eating your reflection, taking its place easily, the young looking man takes your bedroom in for a second, it’s all in reversed for him who’s stuck in your mirror. Speaking of, he likes it. Big, tall, he notices your name neatly written in what he guesses is red lipstick. Taking your reflection’s place, both his hands lay flat against your palms, kneeled down, he’s significantly taller than you but still, he notices the contourcion in your features, the fear. He loves it, he loves oh so much. The fear, the regret, he adores it all. He knows it’ll be even better once you open your eyes and understand your faith. Mirroring your position, the man doesn’t move, he loves the proximity, how close your face is to his. Wicked smile on his rosy lips, it tugs up at a side, pearly white canine showing, the tip of his tongue rests on the sharp tooth. Oh, he’ll eat you up and savour it just like he did with your reflection.

“Hi, Y/N.”

The reactions, Jaehyun thrives off the reactions. The fear in people’s eyes, the tears, the cries, the shouts, the realisation flashing, twisting people’s features, he fucking gets off of it. He knows what to expect and yet, when you finally open your eyes, barely take in his face and jump back immediately, he chuckles out, he groans happily, excited even. You barely believe it, a man replaces your reflection, he doesn’t follow your movements when you tumble backwards and feel your spine hit your bed, the scream you were about to let out getting knocked out of your lungs. Instead, it’s a loud whine you let out. What the fuck, the actual fuck. Both your hands cover your mouth, Jaehyun notices how shaky they are and cooes, head tilting to the side. What a pretty toy to play with. A knee down, the other leg bent against his chest, the man in the mirror lets his head rest there, patiently waiting for you to finally speak up. Strangely, he’s a patient man, he had some people run away on him, not speak for hours at the shock, even. You think you’re hallucinating, you almost pinch yourself but you know, you’d be awake if this was a dream. The impact of your bed against your back tells you that this, this is real. As much as your brain hates to believe it, takes minutes to process it and still has its doubts, you react just in case. You react out of pure instinct. The bag you use everyday gets pulled next to you and you quickly push a hand inside, looking for one thing only. A young college student needs to protect itself when walking home from late classes, the butterfly knife you wished you’d never have to use finds your fingertips and, when you feel the cold metal, you pull it out. 

“Ah-a. Don’t make me mad so quickly, doll.”, the man in your mirror sings, nickname rolling out of his tongue. You think you’re going to throw up, the ball in your throat keeps you from speaking but you don’t let his words scare you. In a swift motion, you open the object and let the blade stand straight towards your mirror. You try, you try your best to seem less afraid, but you’re sure you look foolish to him. And it sure does. A sigh tumbles from the man’s lips, a hand running in his dark brown locks. Thoughts clash and collide in your dizzy, clouded brain but still. He looks...normal almost, if it isn’t for the twisted grin on his lips, the lack of light in his dark eyes.  

“Your little knife won’t hurt me.”, he informs you, a small pout on his lips. He stays there, still patiently waiting for you to say something. Though he likes peoples’ reactions, he likes it even better when he hears about their darkest desires, the things that pushed them over the edge, things they graved to the point of summoning him, an entity many deem as fake, a legend. A hand on your floor, you support yourself with it, fearing your body giving out even if you’re already down. Mouth dry, you swallow harshly before finding your tongue again. “What if I break the mirror.” 

It’s a threat but oh, it sounds so sweet to the young man. You’re a courageous one, and fierce at that, Jaehyun can already tell and he loves it. Truly, he can not wait ; to break you down little by little, see that same fierceness in your pupils slowly disappear for obedience. There’s a small laugh tumbling from his lips again, cheek rubbing against his knee. “Ouh, she speaks.” Leaning a bit closer to the mirror, the man hums a little, eyes on the sharp blade. “Break it, it won’t do anything to me. Except make me mad.” 

For some reason, you believe him. Maybe it’s the daring look he gives you, silently wondering if you’ll have the guts to come closer to him. Clearly, you don’t, staying as far as your bed allows you. Your heart’s still beating too fast against your ribcage, breathing unevenly and you try to focus on your rhythm instead of the man right in front of you. “Come on. Deep breathes, kid.”

There’s something that clicks in your brain at this very moment, your throat seems to unravel and words flow out of your lips, avoiding what a side of your brain still thinks is an illusion. “I- We thought this was a legend, we thought it was fake.”, voice small, you fumble around, hands on your sheet before you find your phone. 

“‘it’ and ‘this” has a name.”, the man sternly says, eyes following your mouvements. As said, he saw it all before, the startled look in your eyes when your device went dead in your hand was one he enjoyed a bit too much. “It won’t work.”, he notes in a hum. 

“Y-Yoonoh ?”, you hate how it’s a question tumbling from your lips, half hoping one of your friend’s going to erupt out of your closet with a camera. There’s a disappointed sound from him, thumb running on his pink bottom lip, locks falling in front of his eyes. “Haven’t used that name in years. Please, darling. Call me Jaehyun.” 

Jaehyun, the sound rings in your ears. Eyes wide, you clench your dead phone around your fingers. “You’re real.” 

“As much as you are.”, he’s amused to say the least, lips stretching at a corner. There, he decided to get up, taking advantage of your tall mirror. It’s weird, how he isn’t wearing anything old, dirty, anything you��d think an entity would wear. A black blouse loose on his shoulders, he rolls the fabric to his elbows, what you think are black costume pants on his legs, his shoes you cannot see with the dark fog dancing around him. 

“You look...Normal.”, you dumbly let out, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. With other clothes, he’d easily pass as another boy in your campus. Then, he chuckles, you’re cute. It resonates in your small room, a deep dimple craved on each cheek. He seems pleased, standing right in front of your body. Hands in his pocket, he leans a bit forward. 

“Oh, doll. What were you expecting ? A big, bloody man ? Old and creepy ?” You nod at that, you surely were not expecting such a young looking man, you weren’t expecting him. “You surely didn’t summon anyone else, then. Does that mean I’m your first ? Ah- cute.” 

You don’t really know what comes to you, speaking almost freely to this entity and yet, you’re still afraid. There’s no doubt, the dip in your stomach and the sweat on your palms. “I-...I don’t believe in these kinds of things.”, you tell him without a second thought, without understanding how dumb this might sound. 

“Oh, really ? And do you, now ?”, Jaehyun decides he likes being at eye level better, kneeling, resting on his heels, he props his chin inside his palm again. Deep, dark eyes, it’s what strikes you the most. They curl lightly inside, outer corners stretched with what you think is a dark eyeshadow. He grins again, though his eyes never gain any light.  Your brain surrounders, finally coming around the fact that this, might be real. You stay silent, bringing your knees to your chest again. 

“Oh, she does.”, voice stained, gravy, he whispers out after some seconds of silence. “She believes.”, Jaehyun points out before you do with a breathless chuckle. There’s something twisted about him, you only needed seconds to understand how he fed of your initial fear, how he craved the trembling lips, watery eyes and shaky hands. Now, it seems he wants to play. 

“Now, you know what comes with summoning me, hm ?”, you nod at that, slowly coming to the realisation that you, have two wishes. Two possibilities. You could make your life so, so much better, right ? But a side of your brain still dismisses all of this as fake, you doubt Jaehyun’s powers for a moment. “Two wishes.”, you tell him and he nods, pleased. 

Pearly white teeth glow at his carnal smile, pupils slowly growing until his irises almost disappear. “A deal, unbreakable. You, will be sealed to me. Me, to you. Forever in the nearest mirror until the contract ends, I will follow as your reflection. Two wishes I shall grant you. One you shall grant me. “No” we both cannot use.”, he hums. Dreaded, realization falls onto your shoulders, the next sentence makes it too real. “Now, doll. Tell me. Tell me your deepest, darkest desires.”, he whispers, leaning closer to the barrier the mirror creates. 

The groan he lets out almost startles you, stained and deep, it’s almost a moan. “I’ve been waiting for so long.” Head thrown back, locks of his hair fall backwards as he reveals his pale neck. You gulp down, you never thought about it, only summoned him in an attempt to calm yourself down. “I didn’t...I didn’t think about that.”, you whisper out, slightly frightened at what he might be able to do. Jaehyun’s twisted smile never leaves his face, head tilted to the side. 

“Come on, kid. I’m sure you can find something.”, he starts. His right thumb pressed on his fingers, one by one. Cracking his knuckles, the sound’s bone chilling for your ears. “You know, you can wish for anything in the world.” Anything ? That’s the issue, you can’t think of anything right now. Unable to look at the entity in front of you, your eyes travel to the side, fixated on the small paint stain on your floor. What do you want ? You can barely think in such a situation, not when his eyes are fixated on you, intense, dark, awaiting. It’s the pressure that makes you speak again, your brain lashes onto the first thought that comes across your mind. 

“Popularity.”, you finally blur out, something the main character of a movie would’ve said. What a fool. Popularity, you don’t even need it, you just think it would be new to have people finally looking at you, knowing who you are.

“Popularity ?”, Jaehyun says, eyebrows raised. He seems slightly taken back, amused still. “I’ve had much, much more interesting wishes.”, he says, dark eyes looking down at you. You hate it, the judgement he shows, you know you could’ve wished for anything else. He does not elaborate on that - yet. Rather, he nods. Palms against each other, his last and fourth fingers are laced together, both thumbs, pointer and middle fingers pointed to the ceiling. There’s a dark glow right behind him, the black fog rather around the entity and, before you can change your wish, his eyes plant right in yours. They glow with something different, his voice resonates in your room, it comes out of all the mirrors you own. 

“Then, Y/N. So be it !” 

That night, you don’t sleep at all. Or at least, you don’t think you do, even when trying your hardest. If Jaehyun doesn’t appear in your mirror again, if he seems to disappear after your wish in an attempt to let you rest, you’re hyper aware of the fact that he’s here anyways. Jaehyun’s presence lingers, the effect he has in your dorm is undeniable, you can not push it away. Air dry, atmosphere tense, he’s everywhere and anywhere. “Forever in the nearest mirror until the contract ends.”, that’s exactly what he said. If he’s watching you sleep ? Is he, himself, sleeping ? Does he even need to ? Questions collide, none of them find an answer and rather, create new ones in their wake. 

Fatigue crashes on your body at once when you finally get yourself to blow the candle out and turn the lights of your bedroom off, so does the anxiety. Finally realising what you’ve just done, what you just got yourself into. It barely feels real, minutes go by on the clock and, when you’re not glaring at the numbers casted on your ceiling, you’re fearfully looking at your mirror. For the first time since you moved here, you hate this mirror. From the placement right in front of your bed to the size, you wonder why your campus thought this was a good idea. 

At some point, you do have to rest with your head right under your covers, finding a small bit of comfort with the duvet around your body. Maybe you dove back and forth into Morpheus’ arms but, your body shakes itself awake every time, almost giving you a mini heart attack. Soon enough, the lack of light gets replaced with the pale sunlight of the early morning, allowing you to catch a few minutes of sleep or so. Even if it varies with age, scientists say a human is able to live without sleep for around eleven days. You wonder if your body is able to go with a day of sleep. Thinking about it now, sleep deprivation comes with illusions and, you swear you sa-. 

“Y/N ?”, Jaemin’s voice rings right next to you, forcefully pulling you out of your too loud and invasive of thoughts. Eyes unfocused on your meal, your attention turns towards your friend in a second. From the silence in your group and the slight smile dancing on Jaemin’s lips, you guess he has been calling for you for a few seconds now. “Oh, sorry. Yeah ?”, you mumble out, placing the wooden chopsticks in your half full box, one you barely touched. 

“Dude, not to be rude but you look awful. You good ?”, Jeno, right in front of you, interjects before anyone else can speak. The young man looks genuinely concerned, eyebrows furrowed. You can’t help but notice, his eye bags don’t look too bad for a college student. They’re also, nowhere as bad as yours. 

“Yeah. Didn’t get much sleep last night.”, sighing a little, you let your cheek rest against your fist. You could fall asleep right then and there, on this very bench. The sun isn’t too harsh on your skin, no mirrors and, most importantly, you’re surrounded by your friends. Taking an entire picnic table in the middle of your campus, chinese food was bought but, you couldn’t bring yourself to eat more than a few bites, head heavy. 

There’s a laugh from Donghyuck, who just finished his food in one go. “Is it because of that dumb legend ?” 

“Dumb legend”, something doesn’t feel right when your friend lets the words out so, so carelessly. You can’t deny the shiver that runs down your spine at that moment, though you don’t see any mirrors anywhere close. Another uncomfortable silence takes place in the middle of the table, before Jisung speaks, finally. “I honestly felt weird yesterday night.”, he mumbles out, letting the tip of his chopsticks hit the bottom of his box a few times, like he’s embarrassed to admit it. It doesn’t shock you that he did, that the one who attempted to summon Jaehyun felt his lingering presence, the aftermath of not properly executing a ritual. What take you back, are Chenle and Jaemin’s next words. 

“Same. I almost tried that shit myself.”, Chenle says, half joking. In your half asleep state, your eyes widen for a second. Straightening your back, Jaemin beats you at the fast talker. “Dude, same ? I just wanted to try and see what would happen, you know ?”, he says. Your hand wraps around his arm, catching his attention. A little “You too ?” falls from his lips and you can only nod, looking over at Chenle. 

So they felt it too. The sudden feeling of not being alone, not being the crazy one. “I thought I was making things up.”, you gasp. You have to say, in another situation, Donghyuck’s face would’ve been funny. He looks so, so disappointed when you start listing the weird coincidence you and your two friends experienced the night prior. From the change in temperature and the feeling of being watched, Renjun and Jeno watch and listen, horrified. “But obviously, I didn’t try it.”, Jaemin adds, and you almost feel like disappearing. “Yeah, yeah...Same. Just didn’t sleep well.”, you mimic, and it seems to convince your friends. 

So they felt it too and, you were apparently the only one to follow your feeling, the only one that compulsively tried it out. You hate it, maybe you should’ve texted one of them, called them or even went to one of your friend’s dorms to sleep and you wouldn’t have been in such a situation. What a dumb move, what the slight confidence and curiosity had you summon, you almost let your forehead rest against the old wood. You almost do, if it isn’t for all your friends simultaneously turning their head to the side. 

Silence falls yet again in your group as you all look, slightly confused at the young man standing right next to you. Bright red hair, eyebrow slit, bold fashion style, everyone in this campus knows him as Lee Taeyong. See, if schools have their famous clique, the Heather and whatever is the masculine equivalent, you thought it all stopped once in university. You thought wrong. On your first visit, you quickly understood who exactly were the famous and unaccessible guys. Taeyong, was one of them. From his intimidating looks, ever changing hair color, sharp features and deep voice, he had everyone’s attention. Needless to say, you never saw him from so, so close. 

“Hey...Looking for something ?”, ah Donghyuck. Always the bold, the lifesaver. Sipping on his bubble tea, he looks straight at the oldest who barely gives him any attention. 

“Yes, actually.”, the red haired answers, gaining a few confused looks from your group. Looking at Jaemin for a second, you silently wonder if any of your friends know the Lee Taeyong enough for him to let himself be seen in your company. It seems he doesn’t understand either, quickly raising his shoulders. Catching your straw between your lips, you slowly sip onto the last drop of your juice, curious. 

“Y/N ?”, the dance student asks, looking straight into your eyes. It’s strange, how his eyes only manage to make you shift a little on your seat. You have to say, you did not know he knew your name, even was aware of your existence. Sure, him and Johnny were friends but, you doubt your friend told him about you. Still sucking on the last drops, you nod slowly. “I’m hosting a party this Sunday, are you coming ?” 

You choke on the liquid. Uh ? What’s going on ? You think it’s the lack of sleep that makes you hear things, but he doesn’t seem to mind and continues. “To celebrate the end of exam season. You’re Johnny’s friend, right ? He’ll send you the address.” 

And, just like that, the oldest smiles down at you and leaves. He leaves and lets your friends glare at you for answers, answers you do not have. 

Or maybe, you do. Wishing for popularity, you almost forgot about it. Was that how it began, people you barely know inviting you and not your friends to parties ? “What the fuck just happened ?”, asks Renjun, almost turning around to glare at Taeyong who sits with his friends, giving you a quick look. 

“I have no idea.” 

On any other normal, ordinary day, you would’ve opened your door without a second thought, mechanically almost. Throwing your bag at the foot of your bed before letting your body fall right in the middle of the mattress after a long, long day. But, your life is apparently far, far from ordinary since last night. Practically stuck in front of your dorm’s door, your fist unconsciously clenches the leather strap of your backpack. Knuckles turning white, it’s almost like you’re gripping the last bits of your sanity. Once you enter the four walls of what once was your safe space, you can only guess what is going to wait for you. 

Anyways, you cannot sleep right in front of your door, you can’t work on the dirty floor of your hallway, right ? It takes another rush of courage for you to push the handle down and finally allow yourself to enter your dorm. Even if you were ready for anything to happen, the sound of his voice once you close your door makes you jump back against the wood. “Ah, doll. Finally.”, it’s sultry, deep, it follows the look on his eyes when you carefully step towards your bed, second guessing his next actions. 

How are you supposed to act when you have an entity living in your mirror ? You wish Google could answer this question, you really do. Quickly glaring at the man in front of you, you’re a lot less scared now that the sun freely enters your bedroom, enough for you to notice a few more details that you might have missed the night prior. Victorian clothes, the tip of his fingers a dark grey as they dance on his jawline, Jaehyun still has the same cocky smile on his rosy lips. 

“Had a taste of popularity yet ?”, he asks, though he already knows the answer very well. Non-verbal, you keep an eye on your mirror while letting your bag fall on the floor, awkwardly sitting on the edge of your bed. 

“Uh, yeah.”, you let out, fingernails slightly gazing over the skin of your arm. You had a feeling it was him or rather, the wish you had blurred out hours before. It had to be, right ? Sure, Johnny knows Taeyong but you doubt he invites all his friend’s friends. Even, you and Johnny weren’t close enough and barely hung out, keeping your friendship almost strictly virtually. Not to point out the fact that the young man only invited you and did not even have the courtesy to invite the rest of your group. 

Finally, you decide to take your shoes off, scooting back to the middle of your bed, wood slightly cracking under your mouvements. Here, you believe you can have your eyes on the entity at any moment, just in case. What a strange situation, you don’t even know if you can work properly in such conditions, let alone take a shower and sleep peacefully. 

“Darling, you don’t look too happy with your wish.”, the young man notes, slight amusement dancing in his voice. Apparently, Jaehyun has a habit of squatting to sit down; elbow on his knee, head in his palm, he quickly raises his eyebrows at you. Isn’t it weird ? How he is still here, asking questions like an old - weird - friend shaking up on a friend. Maybe, your view on entities might be flawed, oriented by pop culture but, you sure weren’t expecting anything like this. 

“I’m tired.”, you simply say, clearly not prepared to have a casual conversation with the entity you summoned. Picking at a loose thread on your jeans, a sigh leaves your lips the moment you grab onto your phone and notice how, even now, it won’t turn on, nice. You don’t dare point it out, though. 

“Oh, kid. I can tell.”, your eyes quickly look up at his words, half in misbelief. Clearly, he doesn’t care for the daggers your eyes are throwing at him, tinted fingers twirling the dense fog around him. “You look close to death. And believe me, I saw my fair share of people on the bridge between our world and everything beyond.”

Your death glare quickly turns to a surprised, taken back one, clearly offended. Apparently, the young man finds amusement in this again, a quiet chuckle tumbling from his lips. How could he laugh, probably knowing he’s the reason you barely slept last night. Fighting with the entity stuck in your mirror, yet another thing you never even thought you’d experience. 

“You’re the reason why I look like this ! I-I barely slept tonight.”, your voice audibly quiets down the moment you understand the tone you’re using on a creature you can’t begin to understand, one that has powers beyond your comprehension. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to mind. Rather, his smile twists again, he likes them feisty. 

“I know.”, he simply says, batting his eyelashes, they’re long, dark. “But you, doll. Do you realise I can not do anything to you ?”, he asks and, you have to look to the side for a moment, Jaehyun continues. “I’m stuck in this mirror, I can not reach you.” 

Jaehyun can be lying. He probably is. After all, you aren’t aware of the totality of his abilities, he’s born from a dark ritual, meant to grant any desire, as twisted as they may be. Then again, why would he be lying ? If he could reach you, you think he could’ve tried something the night before. “You can’t ?”, biting down on your lower lip, you ask a bit quietly, raising your shoulders instinctively. 

“Actually, I can lean out of any mirror and reach anything at arm length but, it takes a lot of energy out of me.”, Jaehyun says, running a hand in his locks and, you have to say, the sheer thought of seeing him reach out of your mirror has your blood leaving your face, surely a sight you don’t want to witness. You don’t even ask for a demonstration, you’d rather keep the little sanity you still have now, without the image of an entity leaning out to your world. Does that mean he can reach out and grab the bag you left on the floor ? You almost lean down and tug it towards you and away from your mirror but, decide against it. At the very least, you now know that you can sleep without him walking out of your mirror. 

“Do you...Do you need to sleep ? You said it took energy.” What comes to you again ? Asking questions so freely, you guess having answers will help you be less scared. Bringing your knees to your shoulders, your body relaxes a bit when you notice the entity looking at you, seemingly taken back by a human asking him questions. Little do you know, Jaehyun doesn’t remember the last time someone wanted to know more about himself, he might as well.

“I do not need to sleep, I feed off people summoning me.”, he simply explained, getting up. You wonder for a second if he isn’t bored in your mirror, it seems like he does not have anything to do in there, you might even pity him for a second. “As long as people summon me, I exist. Once people forget about me, I’ll be gone.”, Jaehyun utters, slowly walking from one end of your mirror to another. 

“Isn’t it...Boring in there ?”, you wonder out loud, head tilted to the side. If you saw an entity being vulnerable, for the shortest of seconds, Jaehyun regains his attitude pretty quickly. There’s a laugh, a loud one you fear someone else will hear as he readjusts his rings on his fingers, one by one, before facing you again. 

“Oh, no. See, usually, people know what they’re going to wish for, their desires are dark, thrilling. Darling, yours are just plain and uninteresting.”, the entity notes, quietly. The gasp you let out at this is almost comical, though the young man doesn’t even let a reaction out. Eyebrows furrow, you almost have the reflex to throw something at your mirror. 

“I wasn’t- I didn’t even think it would work !”, you blur out a bit too loudly, letting your knees fall on your mattress. “I don’t have any dark, twisted desires, it’s not my fault !”, quickly losing yourself in excuses and defenses, you don’t notice Jaehyun’s smile growing wider at your attempts, passing back and forth in your mirror. “Even ! What did the others wish for ?”, you ask, clearly annoyed by the one way argument you just had. 

The question seems to pick the entity’s interest, you finally notice the habit he has of facing you when something interests him and, on the contrary, mindlessly passing until you’re done speaking when he isn’t interested at all. “Ah, what did the others wish for ? Doll, I do not think you’re ready to hear humanity’s most twisted impulses.” 

Curiosity and pride poked, you quickly blur back, crossing your legs. “I summoned you. I think I can hear it.” Eyes narrow, the young man takes a few seconds to judge, “Don’t you have some class work to do ? Friends to see ? I do not know, church to attend ?” You almost laugh at that, almost forget what time he probably comes from to speak in such a way. “No, I don’t.” It’s probably the slight determination in your voice mixed with the urge to tell his stories that does it for Jaehyun. Though he sighs, it’s almost a content one he has while remembering the endless acounters he had. “What do you think people summon me for ?”, he suddenly asks, starting again with his infinite passing. 

“Money, power.”, you start, and he only nods without looking at you. Suddenly, Jaehyun disappears and you almost back against the head of your bed, if it isn’t for his voice coming from the smaller mirror in your dressing table. God, how you feared it was haunted when you first bought it, even if it was straight out of ikea. You guess that now, it is. “Power.” Jaehyun eventually goes to the mirror in your bathroom, seemingly effortlessly, “Money.” You hear his voice resonate, even in this room full of furniture. Finally, he comes back again to your main mirror, the one you summoned him on. “Love.”,  a lion in his cage. 

Only then, do you notice your name still written in red lipstick, one you should probably clean off if you weren’t so scared of coming close to him. 

“Humans are greedy, so greedy to have what isn’t meant to be theirs. They’d go to great length for a twisted illusion, a flawed reality their selfish heart craves.”, he speaks through gritted teeth, it sends a shiver down your spine, makes the atmosphere colder. “I’ve had a prince, once. The second born, far far from the throne.”, Jaehyun starts, a finger tapping on his chin. “Do you know what he wished for, once he had the guts to summon me ?”, the entity suddenly asks, abruptly turning towards you. Taken back, all you can do is shake your head from left to right, hands gripping the fabric of your jeans. He told you, that people summoning him gave him more energy. You wonder if staying in the presence of the one calling him gives him more too, the effects he has on your small dorm are even more noticeable now than last night. 

“For his entire family’s death.”, Jaehyun related. 

He says this simply, so simply. If he notices the slight shift in your breathing, he doesn’t point it out and continues. 

“Such a naïve, naïve boy.”, Jaehyun hums, a slight pout on his lips. “He makes me think of you. He didn’t think it would work. But, unlike you, when he saw me, he knew what he wanted.” There’s a slight pause, where Jaehyun hums, like he’s remembering some details. “‘Tell me your deepest, darkest desires’, I said. ‘Kill them all’, the fool immediately said.” You have to say, you’re a bit captivated by how he reenacts the scene, hands flying in gestures. 

“Did you ?”, you ask almost dumbly, eyes wide. It’s like your brain still hasn’t processed everything the entity in front of you can do. It’s only when the entity gives you an empty look that you let a small, “Oh” tumblr from your lips. Obviously, he did. It’s the morbid curiosity, the one that almost has you asking how he did it but, you push it away. You convince yourself that you don’t want to know nor hear it and thankfully, Jaehyun continues before you can open your mouth. “Poor thing, he wasn’t on the throne for long.”, the man notes. For the first time, something dances in his eyes. Something he’s hiding from you has his lips parting in a quiet chuckle, like he’s remembering an old joke. 

He’s capable of murder. That, you know now. A dip in your stomach, it’s probably the way he talks about it so nonchalantly that frightens you the most. You don’t doubt, the entity probably saw and experienced a lot. Now, can you blame him ? He’s tied to a ritual, probably forced to grant wishes. You wonder, what would happen if he doesn’t act on them. Is he at fault for all the things he did ? You almost question your own morals. 

“What do people ask for the most ?”, you wonder out loud. Jaehyun doesn’t seem to mind the questions and, the lack of homework, phone and intimacy has you stuck with him. Might as well. The entity seems to pounder for a bit, you think you might go crazy only with the way he keeps walking back and forth in your small mirror. 

“Love.”, he finally tells you, never stopping his steps. “But it’s never true love, it’s never as perfect as they pictured it.”

So, he’s capable of forcing feelings on someone ? For the nth time, you wonder exactly what he’s capable of, where his powers stop. And here you were, asking for popularity. Sure, it could help in the long run but, you could’ve asked for so much better. But, you still have a second wish, right ? It’s there, suddenly, that you remember why you and your friends tried to summon him in the first place. Eyes wide, you move a bit closer to the mirror, though keeping some distance. 

“Is it true ? Eric ?”, you ask suddenly. It’s all because your friend talked about him, all because of a dumb rumor he heard.

“Eric ?”, Jaehyun needs a few seconds to place the name again, furrowed eyebrows relaxing after a moment. The name seems to bring some discomfort into his features and, though it disappeared after a moment, you still notice it. Silent for a moment, you press on anyways. “That he summoned you, it’s true, isn’t it ?”

Oh, how you probably shouldn’t have asked. If Jaehyun is able to control his emotions, his features turning cold, unreadable, the effect he has on your dorm can not go unnoticed. Air cold, dense, you don’t take long to understand his experience with Eric probably was not the greatest. But again, isn’t Jaehyun a powerful entity ? Why would his reaction be so radical to such a normal human ? 

“He did.”, the young man finally says, cold, abrupt. 

Is he the reason why Eric went at the top of his class ? It probably is but, what you’re most curious about is why exactly, the old college student turned so...weird. Sure, you don’t doubt the experience of successfully summoning a demon might...change someone but, it seems Jaehyun didn’t have him in his heart either. Did something happen between them ? Did Eric not grant Jaehyun’s final wish ? Were the rumors true ? Your brain’s deciding between asking and dropping the subject and, as you’re about to open your mouth again, the entity beats you at it. 

“Shouldn’t you go take a shower ? Rest early tonight.” and, just like that, he disappears from your mirror. 

People have told you many times. 

“Curiosity killed the cat.” 

You should not be here, at all. You’re supposed to have a major class right at this moment. But, a teacher being sick and a lack of substitute teachers appeared like a sign of the universe to you. See, Jaehyun’s abrupt disappearance left you with more questions, questions that only duplicated the moment you finally took a well deserved shower - after covering your mirror with a towel, just in case.

What happened with Eric ? Probably the last thought before sleep knocked you out in mere minutes. And really, the universe wouldn’t have made it so easy to find him if they didn’t want you to search, right ? A few texts here and there, Johnny yet again managed to help you more than he can imagine. Eric’s address was sent to you fifteen minutes after your class was officially cancelled and, you took the chance. Faking having some questions about both his major and job, Johnny didn’t ask any more questions. 

And here you were. Right in front of Eric’s building.

The richer, nicer era, one you never visited before. After all, you don’t know anyone living there. Pretty, tall and new buildings, small parks, high end stores. One can only dream of living in such a nice era a year after leaving university. 

“Curiosity killed the cat.”, you think again. In front of the old university student’s building, glass doors pushed open to reveal a pristin, clear and minimalist lobby. “But satisfaction brought it back.”, you tell yourself. 

What are you doing here ? You don’t really know. All you can really understand and form in your fogged up brain is that Eric, him, might be the only one able to understand you at this very moment. Maybe he has answers to the questions you have and are too afraid to ask. What could go wrong ? A lot, actually. But you -once again - decide to act on impulse rather than think about it. It’s a slight confidence you have that goes to your head, fogs any other rational thought. 

The lobby’s empty, calm. An abstract beige and white painting hung at your right, you immediately notice the ceiling high mirror on your left. Your reflection, it’s almost weird to see it. It has you doubting, doubting that this, is even your image here. But, you push the thought aside quickly, walking towards the little letter boxes. Kim Eric, Kim Eric. You don’t take too long to find his name tag, right next to his apartment number. Right at the top of the building, you can’t even begin to imagine the price he must’ve payed. 

Nonetheless, you make your way towards the single elevator. There, another mirror. You might think Eric was just a weird kid, that Jaehyun never had anything to do with this. After all, wouldn’t he want to live somewhere without mirrors if the rumors were true ?

Facing the metal doors, you turn away from the mirror, head moving to the calm tune of the metal box. Unconsciously avoiding the glass yourself, you’re standing closer to the opening than usual. 

What you do not see, is your reflection not following your movement, glaring into your skull. 

That weird feeling of being watched again, isn’t it ? It creeps up your spine and you try your best at pushing it aside, forcing your brain to focus on the quiet melody. A small part of your brain fears, if you turn around right now, would Jaehyun be facing you ? He’s everywhere, you’re aware of that and yet, decide to cover this truth. 

Thankfully, the elevator doesn’t stop until the very last floor, letting you escape the small cubicle before you can feel too uncomfortable, before the courage wears off and has you overthinking. And, only then do you really realise what you are doing. Visiting someone you don’t know at all, only heard rumors about only because the two of you happened to summon the same entity.

Should you really be doing this ? It seems Jaehyun doesn’t have Eric in his heart, wouldn’t he be mad ? But, he said he couldn’t do anything to you, you just have to do it, for closure. Do it, for closure-. Before your brain can stop you, you take the few steps towards Eric’s door, 165 written in golden letters on the pale wooden door. Clean carpet, big windows letting you have a breathtaking view on the area, you wonder for a second time how much money he must make to afford this place. Bringing your fist up to the door, you knock a first time. 

Silence. A kind of deception slowly takes over your body but, you guess you should’ve thought about it, maybe he’s working or, just out, like a regular citizen. 

Pure silence falls and you now wonder if you did not misread the signs, if you really should be here. Head hanging low, you’re almost about to mentally beat yourself up before your eyes fall on it. Covered by a thing, white sheet, something’s placed right against the wall. Neatly packed, you for a second think it’s a set of paintings. But, it’s the smallest of seconds, you don’t need more to understand right then. 

“Curiosity killed the cat.”, you think for the nth time, but you act on it, yet again. Eric isn’t here anyways, no one would notice. Slightly leaning down, you take the sheet between your fingers and lift it up. Paintings, thin pieces of wood, it could’ve been anything but hélas, covered under the fabric is what you feared most. Different mirrors, different sizes, obviously from different rooms. There’s a sigh that tumbles from your lips, are you going to end just like this ? Scared of mirrors, avoiding them ? It’s just when you get back up that you think your heart might jump out of your body. 

“Excuse me ? What are you doing here ?”, deep, breathless voice comes from the stairs you didn’t even notice. Jumping away from the door, a hand lands on your beating heart, a soundless gasp at the border of your parted lips. Eric stands clueless.He’s an average sized man, clearly out of shape, slender eyes with a prominent european nose. He does not know you but you, on the other hand, saw pictures of him. If he looked weird a few years ago, it might be worse now. If you look out of place with your regular, broke college student clothes, he does even more. Dirty, washed out and oversized t-shirt, long, brown greasy hair, he grips the iron next to him. He took the stairs, all the way to his apartment to avoid the mirror, it strikes you there. Slight anxiety takes over you, you didn’t expect him to be like this, you didn’t expect to feel so...off. 

“I-uh. Eric ?”, you ask, already knowing the answer. Slightly taken back, you let the way to his door free for him to walk, not knowing how to act towards him. He, still seems distant, rightfully so. Wavy, dry hair brushed out, his runs a hand in it before fishing for his keys. 

“Are you selling something ? I’m not interest-.”, he mumbles. You notice the bags under his eyes, dried lips. He almost looks sick, he acts like an old person in a young body. 

“Oh, no ! My name’s Y/N. We’re from the same university.”, you tell him. He doesn’t look so convinced, slowly walking towards his door. Even when he puts his key in, he still has an eye on you, like he fears being robbed right there. 

“Uh ? And what do you want ?”, the man groans out. He has you taking a step back again. How are you supposed to tell him exactly ? Shit, you didn’t think about that, at all. A “Hey, we summoned the same entity !” surely won’t do it. The lack of words from your side seems to annoy him quite quickly. Taking a step in his apartment, he immediately used the door to shelter himself, only letting his upper body be seen. He doesn’t look happy, at all. And yet, he has such a pretty apartment, right ? It’s only when he turns his light on that you see the state of the inside. All windows closed and blocked, clothes, empty boxes of instant noodles on the floor alongside a bunch of papers, it looks like a madman’s home. Even his home gives you weird vibes and suddenly, a part of you doesn’t want to be here. anymore.

Eric notices your wandering eyes and, it’s here he has enough, closing his door a little more. “Listen, Y/N. I don’t have your time right now, so-.” 

For a second time, you cut him off. “It’s about Jaehyun.”, you blur about without another thought.

His annoyed look turns frightened in seconds. The name seems to bring back a lot, things you don’t doubt he was trying to get away from. Glossy eyes wide, chapped lips parted, he looks like he’s about to have a heart attack, or like he just saw a ghost. Fuck, what did you just do ? He caughts a bit but, he isn’t as good as the entity when it comes to hiding his emotions. “I-I don’t want to talk about it. It’s just a dumb legend anyways.” Oh, he’s trying to deny, deflect. The moment he’s about to close the door, you act quickly and let your shoe block the door. 

“I did it too.”, you tell him, almost breathless. It almost feels good, to say it but, it lasts for mere milliseconds. Clearly, it doesn’t feel as good for the oldest. You think he might cry when the words process at this very moment, a sound tumbles from his lips. However, no words are said. His eyes fall upon the sheet covered glass at his shoes and, before you can understand, he manages to shut his door in your face. He sounded paranoiac, looked like a maniac. Is that what happens when dealing with Jaehyun, will you end up like this ? Surely, he was the reason why the old university student turned this way, that’s what the rumors say. 

“Leave !”, he shouts and, if anyone’s in the second apartment, you’re sure they can hear. 

“But, Eric, I just wan-.”, you try, desperate. 

Curiosity killed the cat.

“Right now !” 

Curiosity killed the cat. 

“You vazey, you’re an absolute idiot.” 

Unlike last night, you don’t think twice before opening the door to your dorm, almost slamming the iron knob right on your thin wall. Just like you thought, Jaehyun barks at you the moment the door’s closed, barely waiting for the lock to click. He knows, he knows you tried to get answers from Eric, there’s no denying it. 

“You were there.”, it’s a statement more than a question, one you throw at the same time you do your bag, sliding on the floor before it abruptly stops when it hits your mirror. If that’s even possible, the entity gets closer to the border between his world and your own, gritted teeth has him speaking lowly. “I told you, forever in the nearest mirror.” A dark promise, one you now understand the meaning of. He’s linked to you, whether you want ot admit it or not, it has your body covered in goosebumps. 

“You shouldn’t have gone there.”, he continues, sighing heavily through his nose. Clearly, he didn’t think you would visit the old college student, let alone try to question him and tell him about your experience. “He’s mad, he’s dangerous.”, the entity continues. And that’s what does it for you. Abruptly turning towards the mirror, it’s like you quickly forget about the power he holds. 

Anger bubbles up in your chest, it pushes words out of your mouth, “You’re the one who drove him mad !” 

If you fear the entity, you do not show it. Heart pounding, palms sweaty, you keep a straight face. You’re ready for anything and everything. He might scream, make your room even colder, use his powers but, you don’t expect his reaction. He laughs, he laughs almost maniacally. So close to the mirror, the entity shoves his hands in his pockets, leaning closer until you think he might come out. 

Jaehyun could’ve said many things at this moment, he could’ve said the truth. But, unbeknownst to you, his feelings take over. He’s a creature of anger, pitiness, even. 

“He knew the deal.”, he spits out. Voice going deeper, you fear it might turn inhuman. 

“And so, you decided to drive him mad ? He looks miserable.”, you bark back. You’re too far gone to stop yourself right now. The pounding of your heart rings in your ears, it clouds your brain and has you repeating the same sentence again and again but, you never voice it. Would he do the same to you ? 

“I could’ve done much, much worse, doll.” It’s a whisper, like a promise of things he might just do to you if you keep acting in such a way. The nickname doesn’t have anything sweet in it, it’s harsh, a slap in the face. Swallowing harshly, you keep your eyes on the entity, faking a lack of expression, a lack of fear. Clearly, he likes it, a small smirk tugging at his lips but nothing shines in his eyes. If you thought he was normal the night before, if you pitied him hours ago, it’s quite hard now that he looks even more twisted than Eric. 

“And what, exactly ?”, you dare to ask, keeping your voice firm. Jaehyun’s smile only turns wider, head leans to the side. A few locks of his hair fall in front of his piercing eyes, he judges your reactions. 

“Come closer.”, he starts, keeping his voice quiet. “And I’ll tell you.”, the entity gets right back at you, daring light in his eyes. You know, you know he can reach out at a certain point but you take a step closer anyways. Your heart starts pumping faster, threatening to burst out of your ribcage, it creates white noise, blurs your eyes, restricts your air ways.

“She’s a daring one.”, Jaehyun notes, twisted smirk. He’s close, so close. You’ve never been this close to him, ever. If he was out, you would’ve been able to feel the air he blows out on the bridge of your nose, if he wasn’t an entity, you’d be able to see the colorful particle in his eyes. His tongue rests on his pointy canine, lightly traveling to his lip.

“I saw it, the pity in your eyes.”, he starts, a sort of anger in his voice but, you do not flinch. Keeping your eyes on his, you blink slowly, trying to calm your cardiac rhythm, breaking slowly through your nose. “Do you think I’m all alone, here ?”, Jaehyun asks. But, he does not even need an answer. By the way your eyebrows furrow for a second, he understands you never thought about it. 

“Ah, stupid fucking kid.”, he growls lowly, you stay silent. “Do you remember the prince I told you about ?” This time, you simply nod, remember when the young looking man told you that he didn’t even stay on the throne for too long. Jaehyun laughs again, the sound lightly resonating in your room, coming out of the different mirrors you own. “He’s trapped with me, here. I’m not alone.”, Jaehyun explains and, the light that flashs in his eyes tells you that he isn’t lying. Yet, you question it. Mouth agape, eyebrows furrow, the attempt you made to calm your heart fails. “That can’t be.”

“You seem to underestimate my powers, doll.”, and finally, like he’s letting you breathe a bit more, he leans back. He giggles there, both his hands behind his head as he lets his torso fall backwards. You’re not even able to form a proper sentence in your mind and, when he senses the lack of words, the entity continues, unbothered by the reality of his actions. People wouldn’t willingly go in the mirror, if that was even possible, right ? 

“I know what you’re thinking. Ah- it’s so easy to read you, darling. Is it possible for a human to join me ?”, he voices your question without you having to. “You can but, only for a few minutes. If you don’t leave quickly enough, you’re trapped here.” It’s the realisation crashing over you that makes you take a step back. Finally, when your brain goes on high alert, when your body tenses and your senses heighten at the risk, you find your words again. “No one would willingly do that.”, you blur out, trying to find a loophole somewhere. Surely, he’s bluffing, trying to scare you, right ? 

“Doll, you seem to forget that I have a wish too.”, his words have you dizzy but, your body isn’t able to back away again, forced to stay close enough, too close. “It’s simple, really. I wish for a dance and, they have to. When the dance’s over, they rarely have time to run back to their little, real world.” The brunette chuckles again, deep, gravy, bone chilling. 

“You don’t believe me ?”, Jaehyun continues, faking being hurt. He leans forward again, captivating you with his deep eyes. “Do you want to see them all ?”, he asks, lips in a wide smile. He could very much do this to you too, would he ? You shake your head from left to right quickly, fear clear in your eyes, he traps people. God only knows how many. You think you might choke on a cry right then, you don’t think you’ve ever been so scared in your life. Trapped, he seems to do it without a second thought, without an ounce of regret. What did you get yourself into ? 

“Good. Good girl.”, he cooes. “Know your place.” 

For a second time, his face’s too close to you. Having you so close probably gives him more energy and, as the seconds pass, you think you might pass out on the floor. You even think he might lean out of the mirror, like he said he could but, before you can open your mouth again, say anything that could help your case, he beats you at it. “Didn’t they tell you to be careful ? Curiosity killed the cat.” and just like that, he disappears again, you fall into your knees.

In the middle of your first year in university, you found out you didn’t really like frat parties. But see, if they can give you a reason to avoid your dorm, you’ll take anything. Anything, really. 

Loud music blasted through the house, a crowd of people you barely know, you don’t even think you ever saw this place without the party, multicolor lights. You also think you already wore this dress for another one of their parties, earlier on your first year but, you didn’t really think twice about your clothes today. You’ve been here for an hour at best and, the only thing you did was drink a bunch of water, checking your phone every now and then. Unfortunately, none of your friends were able to make it and, a good part didn’t want to come as they weren’t even invited. 

Leaving you all alone in a party full of popular people you never ever spoke to before. You didn’t really blame them. But anyways, wasn’t that what you wanted, popularity ? This is part of it, right ? Fuck, how can you hate something you wished for ? How can you hate it so, so much. Maybe you should leave ? You don’t even like the music they’re playing or the drinks they’re mixing together. You even thought about paying for a hotel but, you know Jaehyun wouldn’t have any difficulty finding you again, he’s attached to you. 

Maybe you should take all your mirrors out, just like Eric did but again, you still have a wish. He still has one, you can’t see yourself leaving in fear for the rest of your life. Dodging every mirror, acting like a maniac. It’s when you’re in deep thought, leaning against the kitchen counter that Johnny decides to join you.

“Hey, Y/N ! You made it !”, the tallest has to speak loudly over the music, holding a red cup in his hand. His everlasting smile on his face, he managed to get a tired one out of you. “Yeah…”, you start, taking a sip of your drink, it surely didn’t help your dry throat. You’re not even having fun here, you look like you’re waiting for someone who’s never going to come. “I didn’t even know Taeyong knew me. I was a bit surprised when he invited me.”, you blur out, trying your best to make a conversation. 

“Actually, he told me he saw you a few times and thought you were cute.”, your friend says, a cheeky smile on his lips. The confession has heat burning your cheeks for a moment, lips parted. Taeyong ? The Lee Taeyong ? You think your friend’s pulling a prank on you but you know him enough, Johnny wouldn’t be the type to do that. 

“I-. Wait, really ?”, you ask, dumbfounded. It’s the effect of your wish, you know it but, you clearly weren’t prepared for that. Do people like you now...Because of this ? Without knowing you, without ever talking to you ? 

“Yeah, really ! You should go talk to him.”, you’ve known Johnny to be kind of the Cupid of his friend group and, he takes the role quite well. Pointing at a corner, you can distinguish one of their couches, occupied by Johnny’s friend group. Before you even know it, a gentle hand’s on your shoulder, helping you through the crowd, sweaty bodies dancing mindlessly, such a cliché. 

You can’t even find a way to escape. Finally, you’re right in front of the said group. Boys and girls, all sat on the couch, some on the others, you would want to sit on someone in such heat. Some girls are hanging out with them too, flashing you a nice smile as you awkwardly stand next to Johnny, like a lost puppy. 

“Look who I found !”, Johnny happily shouts, catching everyone’s attention. Then, you decide you hate it, too many eyes on you. A girl you don’t even know the name of sits straight and waves, “Y/N ! It’s nice to see you, it’s been so long !” Do you know her ? Her face’s vaguely familiar but at best, you might have seen her during a first year party. You hate it, entirely. All you can do is nod slowly as you feel your heart pics up, your palms grow sweaty. Taeyong’s in the middle, legs spread on the couch, he has one of his friends moving from his seat to give you some space. “Here, sit !”, he invites with a warm smile. 

What can you do ? You obey, sitting down next to the young man. You need to sit down anyways, feeling the heat crash over your body, it makes your head light, your mouth dry. You sit in fear you’ll pass out. You can almost feel the energy being drained out of you. Maybe popularity isn’t for you. The music seems to fade away, just as your heart pumps in your ears again. It rings, something familiar now. Has the room always been this size ?

“Y/N ? What game do you prefer ?”, from the tone Johnny has, it’s probably the second time he’s asking you this and, before you can even find another solution or, the strength to socialise, you get up. He flashes you a look, Taeyong a curious one you can’t really see as he’s behind you. 

“Can you please hold my drink, I need to go to the bathroom.”, you blur out. 

“Oh, sure !”, always the nice one. Poor Johnny, you almost shove your glass in his hand, slashing some water on his fingers as he covers the opening. “First door on your right when you take these stairs.”, he says. 

If you could, you would’ve ran to the bathroom. Your steps are stopped when you cut right through the dancing crowd, using your elbows to make your way. It’s crazy, how big their living room is and still, you manage to feel strapped, like the walls keep moving away from you, making it impossible to reach the stairs, the escape. You think someone drops a bit of their drink on your dress but you don’t really care at the moment, walking with quick steps when finally, you’re out of the circle. 

Running up the stairs, your hand lands on the wet patch the unknown drink left at your side, nice.You don’t know what it is, it sticks to your fingers, probably sugary. Finally, the music seems to fade naturally when you reach the first floor, pushing the door of the bathroom without a second thought. As said, you’ve been to parties before, you know bathroom can be...unlocked and busy. Thankfully, no one’s there and you’re able to lock yourself in the bathroom, completely sheltering yourself. 

Turning the light on, you quickly find the sink, hands gripping the border before you lean forward a bit, opening the faucet. 

“Popularity isn’t for me.”, you tell yourself, eyes set on your reflection. Forehead sweaty, your makeup isn’t as good as it was when you left your dorm. Even, is it your reflection ? It seems you can’t even find a safe place anymore. You can’t help the tears that gather in your eyes, small transparent pearls threatening to fall at any moment, you can’t even trust your own reflection. Something grips at your throat, makes it hard to breathe and all you can do is let your head fall down, trying to calm yourself by running your hands under the cold water. 

You can’t even go back to your dorm, not wanting to see Jaehyun. It’s a mixture of fear and something else you can’t really identify, something that makes you regret acting in such a way. It’s crazy, how you almost thought things were going well for an actual entity you summoned. You guess you let things go to your head, forgetting the supernatural aspect of it all. You don’t think it has ever been so hard to see a future for yourself, so hard to find a solution to a problem, you feel stuck. 

Between the four walls of a foreign bathroom, you finally let a sob tumble from your lips. You unsuccessfully try and muffle it against your wet palm but, it all makes it too hard to breathe. Harshly turning the faucet off, you desperately try to find a rhythm. 

“Hey, kid.” 

You almost jump out of your skin. Taking a step back from the sink, you don’t even look up. A voice you know too well by now but, this time is doesn’t sound as harsh. Did he really have to appear so suddenly ? He didn’t help your breathing and you make that known when you glare up at the entity. 

“I didn’t mean to startle you.”, Jaehyun says. There’s something soft in his voice, something you surely are not used to. The mirror is much smaller here, you can only see from his upper body and has you focused on his face. Again, he’s good at hiding his emotions, cold face contracting with the tone in his voice. 

“It’s okay.”, you finally breathe out, not wanting to fight or scream right at this moment. You don’t think you have the energy for, at least. 

“Popularity really isn’t for you.”, he laughs and for once, it’s meant for you to laugh too. There’s a tired sigh tumbling from your lips, far from a laugh. 

“What are you doing here ?”, you ask, though the answer is obvious. 

“I told you, forever in the nearest mirror.”, he repeats and unlike yesterday, it doesn’t sound like a threat, more like a silent promise that he’ll watch over you. “Come closer.” 

And you do, a lot less fearful. Separated by the sink, you stand at its edge. 

“Don’t freak out, doll.”, the entity warns and, before you can even ask him why, he leans out. He leans out of the mirror. Though you don’t freak out, like he asked you, it still takes you by surprise. Mouth agape, the way he effortlessly lets his upper body detach from the mirror is hypnotising. He almost looks human, if it isn’t for his glass skin. The light of the bathroom reflects on the highest point of his cheek, you’d have to look a few minutes to understand if his skin’s pale or if he’s slightly translucide. Faded beauty marks and light freckles, you’d almost be able to count them. 

“There, good.”, he coes softly when you blink slowly. Jaehyun looks so normal, like you’d be able to pick a fallen eyelash on his skin. From here, you can detail his glossy hands, the grey tint at the tip of his fingers and before you can search for any trace of veins on his arms, he cups your cheeks. 

Skin cold, his hands a light touch like he isn’t sure if he should be touching you. The change in heat has you flinching for a second before relaxing, welcoming the cold trail his thumbs let under your tired eyes. 

“Breathe with me, I don’t want to see you having a panic attack.”, he explains. And, you do. Soft breath falls at the bridge of your nose, drying the small drops of water the faucet left on your skin. Through his nose, out his mouth, the entity takes the time and waits for you to match his rhythm. 

Jaehyun, Yoonoh, the entity you summoned is helping you calm down in the middle of a party you hate, that’s the thought you have to push away before finally, feeling yourself getting back to normal. Your heart regains somewhat of a normal rhythm, it stops ringing in your ears and most importantly, nothing restraints your throat. Then, you look up at the entity, big brown eyes checking up on your features, only then do you notice the small dots of gold near his pupil. 

You back away. 

Taking a step back, you detach your eyes from his own, he looks more alive out of his mirror and you’re not sure you want him so close. Or maybe, it’s the fact you do want him a bit closer that scares you. After all, he managed to calm you down easily, he’d almost pass as a normal student.

“Thank you.”, you manage to let out after swallowing down. After a small nod, he lets his body get swallowed back into the mirror. It’s crazy, how his appearance changes the slightest bit, enough that he loses the human like je ne sais quoi that made him familiar, friendlier almost. 

“It’s alright, doll. I’ve had my fair share of people to calm down but usually, it’s during our first meeting.”, he jokes a bit, regaining his attitude when he’s sure you’re alright. 

There’s a silence, a moment when you let the music come to your eyes, the setting sinks in your brain again. Johnny and his friends are probably waiting for you, you don’t even know how long you’ve been there. On the other side, Jaehyun takes a look at the bathroom you locked yourself in, sighing a bit at the music loudly blasting, making the walls vibrate every now and then. You now know how quick Jaehyun is to speak and, for the first time, you catch him, speaking at the same time. 

“I should go home.”

“You should go home.” 

“Nice shirt.” 

“Holy fuck, Jaehyun. You need to stop doing that.”, jumping to the side, you almost drop the towel you were using to dry the wet ends of your hair. 

Minutes after Jaehyun left the bathroom, you did the same. The party wasn’t an interesting one to you and so, you faked being sick to Johnny and his friends. Needless to say, many were disappointed for a reason you couldn’t really understand. At least, Johnny insisted on driving you to your dorm and soon enough, you found your safe space again. 

Strangely, Jaehyun didn’t make his presence known when you entered the room, you were almost used to having him waiting with a sarcastic sentence at the tip of his tongue. Nevertheless, you hung a towel on the mirror of your bathroom and took a quick shower, slipping into freshly washed pyjamas so quickly you almost fell down. 

Apparently, the young man decided to appear right when you stepped out of your bathroom, almost knocking your knee against some furniture. Easing yourself on your bed, you let your body at the edge, right in front of your mirror.

“But you always look like a cute deer caught in headlights. That’s the saying, right ?”, he asks, sitting down in front of you. You nod a bit, a slight smile on your face. “Thank you again, for earlier.”, setting the towel aside, you let your legs dangle. You should probably try and sleep but, it seems Jaehyun isn’t thinking about leaving right now. The entity doesn’t answer, simply nodding, almost not wanting to address the gesture. “I thought you left.”, you tell him, being truthful for the first time. 

“I was just mad.”, Jaehyun almost says, he almost voices his own emotions but decides against it. 

“You shouldn’t have gone to his house.”, he says again. But, unlike yesterday, he doesn’t sound as mad, as angry. You sigh anyways, he sounds like a parent scowling you, but you guess he’d be too old for that. But somehow, you know he isn’t really wrong. Eric didn’t even speak to you, nothing good came of it. Rather than voicing your opinion, you let your eyes travel to the side, avoiding the man’s gaze. 

“He’s dangerous.”, he starts, playing with his rings again. If you were in his head, you’d be able to witness the dilemma he’s facing. However, Jaehyun picks rather quickly. “Do you remember what I told you ? What people wish for the most ?”, he asks. It’s funny, Jaehyun always sounds like he’s questioning you, making sure you listen to him. “Love.”, you easily answer, attention picked. 

“That was Eric’s second wish. But as I told you, it’s never true love, its a fake emotions, I can’t- I can not force such a powerful feeling onto someone. It always ends up badly. When Eric’s “dream girl” - like he called her - didn’t love him like he wanted her to, he got mad.” By now, you know Jaehyun’s behaviour quite well. When he didn’t show much emotion while telling you the story of this unknown prince, the entity looks uncomfortable enough when thinking about Eric. Eyebrows raised, there’s a shiver that runs down your spine. The young man didn’t even say it and yet, you already know where it is going. 

“He tried to kill her one night.”, he starts. For an entity who saw, experienced so much, you think it’s how fresh it all is that has him showing so much emotion. Someone capable of murder, that’s who you visited without a second thought. The behavior, it all started to make sense. Your mouth hangs open for a moment before you find your words again. “Is she- Is she alright ?”, you ask first. 

“She was, I do not know her whereabouts as of today.”, he continues, letting one of his rings roll between his fingers. “I couldn’t let him do it. I used my wish to teach him a lesson, showed him things that went straight through his thick skin. He managed to escape in time but he left me with his.”, before you can ask, the entity lifts his right sleeve a bit more. On his arm, the young man has a wound. Almost unrealistic, the cut doesn’t have a trace of blood but it seems forever frozen in this state, never healing. “Said I’d make him pay and that was enough to install fear, forever.” 

The paranoia, the look in his eyes at Jaehyun’s name, everything added up. You almost feel like throwing up, you knew humanity had its vermin but never, never did you think they’d be so...close. You never thought you’d see the entity with morals. You’re glad he explained the reasons behind his actions, behind his behaviour. 

“I didn’t- I didn’t know you would get hurt.”, you tell him, almost whispering. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”, the entity simply replies. He isn’t wrong, reminding you of centuries he had before meeting you. You don’t even know his full name, or his story. 

“Then tell me about yourself.”, you blur out, not thinking twice. For the first time, Jaehyun is taken back, blank expression on his face. The entity takes a few seconds to process your words and you continue, taking over the conversation for the first time. “Do you ever tell your story ?” He probably never does, you wonder if it’s even a question to ask. Maybe too dark, too painful, you wonder for a second if the question won’t make him mad.

Finally, when the young man regains his attitude, he raises his eyebrows for a second, “People never ask me for it. I told you, humans are greedy creatures. They use me for their two wishes and try to forget about me.” There’s something sad in his words. Now, you understand. He probably feels used, has to do people’s dirty work, grant without a word to say. Somehow, it manages to tighten your heart. Sure, a side of your brain reminds you of the entity he truly is but, another one can not help but feel sad, sad for the life he isn’t even leaving. “Tell me, I want to know.” 

Unbeknownst to you, Jaehyun might feel the smallest spark of happiness. To be cared for. You’re probably asking out of politeness but god, does it feel nice to have someone asking you about your story. “Are you sure ?”, he asks anyways, fainting some arrogance, some detachment while he still can. 

“I was a human once, cursed.”, the entity starts, almost nonchalant. Eyebrows raised, you can’t help the slight gasp that tumbles from your lips. “Cursed ?” Scooting closer to the edge, the fear of being close to him slowly disappears. 

He nods a bit, before fully getting into his story, one he never really talked about to anyone else, now that he thinks about it. “Was born a long time ago, there’s nothing interesting about my life, really.”, like he’s recalling some old, old memories, he looks up for a moment, eyebrows slightly furrowed. You don’t ask when he was born, letting him continue without stopping him. “We’d get married quite young at that time.”, he notes. 

“I was 23 and had a few choices but there was this girl.”, Jaehyun continues and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this, slight smile on his face, it’s clear he’s remembering fond memories. “Pretty brunette, her name was Haseul. We were in love.” Love, something you for a moment thought the entity wasn’t capable of. Something flashes in his eyes, regret, probably. “We were supposed to get married but not everyone was happy with it. From the choices I had, there was this young lady, her name was Agnes.”, the young man says her name with venom on his tongue, you can now only imagine what she did.

“Agnes was supposedly madly in love with me and, when she found out me and Haseul were already talking about marriage, she did this.”, it’s like even after centuries, he isn���t quite able to put words on it. A deep sigh, the entity needs some seconds to find his words, leaning back on his hands. “It was rumored that she was a witch, I never really believed it.” Can you blame him ? You didn’t believe in him either, only days ago. Hands on the border of your bed, you lean a bit closer, captivated by the story. “What did she do ?” 

“I don’t really know how but, she used black magic to curse me here. Forever stuck, if she couldn’t have me, no one could.”, he says, almost nonchalant. He probably accepted his faith long ago but for you, who just listened to his story, you have something tightening around your neck. “He was a human too, once. Loved by the wrong person, punished for loving and giving himself to someone else. He ended up stuck for it, a faith you’d never wish upon anyone, not now that you know all the things he saw and experienced. Jaehyun didn’t even deserve it, you think it’s what saddens you the most.”

“Kid, are you alright ?”, Jaehyun asks, his head to the side. Fuck, you didn’t even have a second to hide the water building up at the corner of your eyes. Quickly using your shirt to dab the droplet away, you shake your head. 

“Y-Yeah. It’s just...I didn’t know you were human before.”, you start and, he laughs a bit. He tells you he’s used to it, many misjudged him as a demon. “You didn’t deserve this.”, you mumble, feeling the lump in your throat grow as you force yourself to keep a straight face. It’s probably the lack of sleep and the recent events that have you on your nerves.

“And, can’t you wish to get out ?”, you ask. Somehow, god knows why, your brain tries to find a solution, probably the humanity in you speaking up. “Can’t I wish for you to get out.” This seems to make the young man laugh, few locks falling in front of his eyes, he has to use his hand to push them back. “Ah, doll. You’re cute. Would you ever do that ?”, he asks, laughing. You don’t answer, would you ? Conflicted and yet, something tells you that you would. You would, because you’re a good person, right ? You wouldn’t want someone stuck in such a way, you wouldn’t let someone innocent suffer if you could get them out. Is Jaehyun innocent ? All the things he did, he had to. But again, he did trap people with him, didn’t he ? Two sides fight, relentless in your brain but somehow, the way he’s looking at you with malice, like he already knows you won’t do it has you nodding. 

You nod and, it has the power to make the entity’s eyebrows raise a bit, a slight smile on his rosy lips. “It’s not how it works.”, he finally says. 

“Is there a way to get out ?”, you’re too curious. If there was a way to get him out, would you do it ? You push the thought away, not wanting to question your morals, not right now. Probably sensing the conflict you’re going through, Jaehyun shrugs. “There is, but you don’t need to know.” At this point, the young man knows what he’s doing. He pokes your curiosity, makes you want and need to know more. Obviously, it works. “Tell me !” 

“It’s a ritual. It’s a bit gruesome, I don’t think you want to hear it now, darling. Requires someone’s blood, someone who truly loves me. See, the witch thought no one would ever love me as much as she did.”, Jaehyun explains, detailing your reactions at his words. Something twists at your stomach, blood ? An old ritual, you can’t even begin to think about all the things necessary. Someone who truly loves him, a big requirement when people summon him only to use him, never getting to know the entity. Again, can you really blame them ? 

“See, nothing really interesting.”, Jaehyun concludes, “But you, darling. Tell me about yourself.” 

Monday night. 

Days trying to function with little to no sleep, days with little to no privacy. You think it’s what you miss the most, privacy. Sure, you could put a towel up on your mirror whenever you took a shower but see, you couldn’t take long showers, longs baths. You always feared Jaehyun would appear out of nowhere, manage to get the towel out and then, then what ? And yes, Jaehyun never did that before, only time he truly appeared without you being prepared for it was last night, during the party but, it was for a good cause. Right now, laying in your bed, sheet almost entirely covering your face, it’s another time of privacy you’re longing for. See, you don’t remember the last time you touched yourself. Alright, maybe that’s a hyperbola, you do remember but it seems so, so far away. Few hours of sleep and so many events you can’t even talk about to your friends have you feeling almost jetlagged, having to check your phone for the hour and day. 

Staring at your ceiling, a deep sigh leaves your lips. You can’t sleep, you can not sleep at all and you have a trip to your home town tomorrow, things to do that require all your brain power. Your brain and body won’t fall into Morpheus’ arms and, you know exactly why. You need it, you need an orgasm so, so bad. It had been on your mind for a while now, it had been clouding your mind for hours now, actually. Hanging out with your friend today did help quite a bit, helping your brain think about anything else. But now, alone in the the middle of your bed, you can’t deny. Your body doesn’t lie to you, the way you have to close your thighs, the way your hands dangerously move inch by inch towards the center of the problem. Your mind does not lie to you either, foggy images, too clear and loud thoughts. 

Yes, you could give in, let your body and mind have what it graves. But, another problem’s right in front of you. The mirror Jaehyun would usually occupy. Fuck, he never announces himself, he never tell you when he’s coming. What if he just...Pops up again ? However, you found a loophole. If your phone doesn’t work when Jaehyun is here, in your mirror, whether you see him or not, the object starts working again when he fully leaves. God knows where he goes, who’s mirror he haunts but at the very least, you know when he isn’t there, right ? God, you know it’d put you to sleep. Picking your phone up, it’s clear the device’s working exactly like it should. You could be quick with it, right ? Two in the morning, you don’t see why Jaehyun would come back now, you really don’t. 

And, fuck it. The pale moonlight freely enters your bedroom, helping you distinguish the furniture in your dorm, letting you keep an eye on your mirror just in case. Ditching your heavy blanket to the side, you let the cold air brush over your naked legs. You managed to get out of your pants a bit earlier, struggling with the heat under your sheets. Your right hand softly lands on your closed core, immediately making your leg raise. Planting your foot on your mattress. 

Your index slowly traces your lips, over the already wet fabric. God, it’s been so long and you’re already wet. You barely needed to find a memory to get off to for that. The tip of your finger easily finds your bud of nerves, lightly pressing. The small gesture has you gasping softly, keeping your voice low enough. 

Enough of teasing yourself, you do not think you have time for this, nor the patience. Pushing your panties aside, you ease a finger between your lips. Finally, some friction. It is not long until you add a second finger to the mix, using a rhythm you know would get you off quickly. Biting down on your lower lip, you have to breathe through your nose, out your mouth to keep your whines quiet enough. Strangely enough, you find yourself thinking back to Jaehyun’s breathing, how his cold hands cupped your face so gently. 

In and out, you let a mewl out, unable to muffle it. His cold, ring hugged fingers, wouldn’t they feel so, so nice on your burning skin ? 

Oh, what are you even thinking about ? You should not, you can’t. Find something else to think about, another boy to hold your fantasies. It shouldn’t be so hard, right ? It’s almost pathetic, how your mind manages to go through a list of boys you know or once you and yet, the one that has been shaking your life up keeps numbing your mind. 

Don’t give in to your thoughts, a side of your brain yells at you. 

But there's nothing wrong in this, is it ? A little secret to keep to yourself, just like you’re keeping Jaehyun a secret from everyone.

Fuck, you can’t find your clouded mind at this very moment, you almost give it, let your fingers move faster with a picture pecfect imagine of glossy fingers, shamlesly, a name you never thought you’d moan tumbles from your lips. If only, if only you’d notice the weak flashing of your phone’s screen, the drained battery on the black screen for a few seconds before it went dead. If only you’d notice. 

“Well. What do we have here ?”, you almost jump out of your skin, you almost have a heart attack right here. You knew it, you knew you shouldn’t have done it. In a quick motion, you try and grab onto your sheet but, Jaehyun’s voice stops you. Frim, it’s an order he gives you. “Oh no, don’t try and hide yourself now.” 

Fingers naturally slowing down, you can’t help the pathetic whisper that leaves from your mouth when you lose the so needed friction. Even if the young man tells you not to hide, you have to close your legs again. You think you’d be mortified, completely frozen but, it’s pure frustration that crashes over you. “God, Jaehyun ! Can’t you warm before ?”, you groaned, your left hand on your forehead. Your right hand, on the other side, grips the thin sheet under your body. You’re probably staining but, you clearly don’t care right now. There’s a low chuckle from the entity, he doesn’t even seem fazed at all. Taking a final step closer to the mirror, something flashes in his eyes. “You’re the one who called me.”, he points out. His own fingers gaze over his jawline and you almost slap yourself, you shouldn’t have such thoughts. But they do look so, so inviting. Did you call him ? Oh, you did, without even realising. 

“I heard you.”, he hums, arrogant. He seems so, so amused by the situation. Pearly white teeth bite down on his lower lip for the faintest of second, crossing his arms over his chest. “Ah, I thought you were calling me because you were in danger, doll. But here you are, touching yourself and moaning my name ? What a dirty, naughty little slut.”, the nickname rolls out his tongue too easily, it strikes right, numb your brain even more. 

There’s no point in denying it but, somehow, you try and act like his words aren’t affecting you at this very moment, like he does have your thighs closing, core aching. “Don’t call me that.”, you try, breathless. Only then do you notice the change, the sudden heat in your bedroom. A smirk grows on his rosy lips, “Why ? You clearly like it.” 

“Go away.”, you try, half believing it. 

“You don’t want me to. Why leave when you were moaning my name ?”, he barks right back. Clearly, the back and forth amuses him, it fires him up, he loves when they put up a fight, even already lost. You stay silent for a moment, unable to find words, a sentence that could make sense. “Come on, doll. Show me.”

That voice, you don’t know if you heard it before. Sultry, soft, it feels like velvet. Smooth, inviting, he has you hypnosed and, before you know it, your legs fall open. Heart pumping rapidly in your chest, its excitement that pumps into your vein but, you don’t want to admit it yet. 

Oh, the joy and cockiness that flashes in the brunette’s eyes. You think it’s the growl he lets out that takes your breath away, legs trembling. “Come closer, darling. Let me see you.” And you do. Just like last night, you scoot closer until your legs are dangling from your bed. It’s lust speaking, lust acting on your numbed, dizzy mind when your thighs spread open for him to see. 

“Pretty.”, he notes and, before you think about doubting your actions, ask him what the two of you are doing at this very moment, he continues. “Show me what you were doing.” 

Under his eyes, your right hand finds your drenched core again, hooking the fabric of your underwear to the side, you easily let your two fingers part your core before slipping them in. There’s no point in hiding your moans anymore, soft whispers tumbling from your lips. 

“God, you’re so wet.”, he notes. “Faster, fuck yourself faster.”, Jaehyun orders lowly. Captivated by his voice, you do, fingers moving at a rapid pace. It feels too good, surreal, almost. 

“Jaehyun, what are we-.”, you start, though it turns in a moan. 

“Sht, shut up. ‘m trying to make you feel good, yeah ? Isn’t that what you wanted ?”, it is, you think to yourself. The side of your brain, desperately trying to fight against it finally lets go, gives in into the pleasure. “There you go.”, he hums happily once your head hangs backwards. “Tell me, what are you thinking about ?”

The words get caught in your throat. Eyes heavy, you need a few seconds before being able to speak up again. “Your fingers.”, you admit, any ounce of shame finally leaving your body. It accepts the pleasure Jaehyun is guiding you towards. “Slow down.”, he instructs and, you do so, a small pout on your lips. 

“Look at that. Who thought you’d beg me to let you cum some days ago ? Weren’t you the one who pulled a knife on me ?”, he coes. He isn���t wrong, you whine softly at the slow rhythm you now have to keep up with. 

“Jaehyun, please.”, you whine out. Tired, sensitive, you’re on the bridge, only waiting for him to let you fall. 

“Please, what ?”, what he does next almost has you moaning. Leaning out of the mirror, his skin goes glossy again, just like in the frat house’s bathroom. Shining under the moonlight, his upper body’s so close. The same human like je ne sais quoi, one that has you leaning closer, closer to him. The coldest of his fingers, what you were thinking about seconds ago, you feel them again. In the dead of the night, skin burning, the entity places his hand right around your neck. He isn’t even pressing and yet, he manages to get your breathing uneven. “Please what, doll ?”, he asks again, almost archly. “Please, let me come, please.”, you beg, throwing any shame and dignity out of your opened window. Clearly appeased and glad by your words, the brunette lets his fingers press harder, harder. Cutting your airways, he tilts your head up, enough that you feel obligated to look at him. “Come on, make yourself cum.”

Face close, he’s millimeters away, lips brushing against yours but never does he kiss you. Keeping his right hand around your throat, his left hand guides your fingers, helping you, guiding you. “Pretty little thing.”, he coes the moment he feels you twitching. Pretty brown eyes set on you, he details, drinks in any one of your expressions. Under his gaze, you take minutes to hit it. Your orgasm is an intense one, crashes over your body, Jaehyun has to let you breathe. 

“There you go.”, voice soft, it sounds far, far away. You take minutes to come down, minutes for your mind to clear again. “Sht, it’s alright.”, you can hear the smirk in his voice and, before you can point it out, sleep knocks you out. 

Realization, it’s realization that crashes over you the next morning. Or rather, the next afternoon. It’s around one in the afternoon when you wake up, sunlight freely entering in your room. Birds, voices, cars, the city’s wide awake and shakes you up. Truthfully, you’d rather not wake up today.

Your gaze falls on your phone, battery intact and on, the multiple texts you have from your family makes you understand. You missed your train, great. Even better, you remember last night. Is it regret ? Rather something else you don’t understand. You don’t really regret what happened, rather fear what will happen next. Jaehyun isn’t human, not anymore at least. Stuck in a mirror, he’s bound to leave at some point. He’s an entity, doesn’t that clash with your morals ? 

Your brain goes miles an hour and you aren’t even able to stop it. Maybe, maybe a shower could help ? You need to get ready anyways. Family’s waiting, worried for you and here you are, stomach empty hanging a towel on the mirror of your bathroom.

What the fuck did you do ? That’s the question that keeps turning again and again in your head. But, it didn’t hurt anyone, right ? God, the grey area you’re in has you in a headache in minutes. Do you want him to leave, or not ? It’s a hard question, one you can’t answer, even at the end of your shower. Shouldn’t you want him to leave ? Isn’t he supposed to be a scary legend ? That’s the problem. He isn’t so scary, he isn’t so mean and cold. But again, he’s an entity. 

Tumbling in your bedroom, your hand runs in your hair out of pure frustration, passing back and forth in the hallway that connects your bed and bathroom, where Jaehyun cannot see you. It’s funny, you look like him now. Are you becoming like him ? Or worse, like Eric ? You don’t even have a wish right now. It’s then that you do what you’re best, or worse at doing, You act on impulse. 

Walking right in front of your mirror, you take a deep breath. You think the sweat gathering at your hairline’s going to ruin your makeup, the outfit you chose to wear isn’t appropriate for the weather. Anyways, you try your best a firm voice and call, “Jaehyun.” 

On cue, he appears. Slight smirk on his face, he looks too pleased, probably because of last night’s event. Is it a smirk or, a genuine smile ? That, you can’t really tell. The brunette told you, you were easy to read and before you can understand his emotions, he understands your own. His smile fades into something more serious, catching up. Something’s wrong. 

“Yes ?”, he asks, almost carefully. He never saw you like this, there’s a spark in your eyes he isn’t able to understand. Confusion, regret, fear, frustration ?

“I have my last wish.”, you tell him. Your heart’s heavy, for some reason. You shouldn’t be really, you think you found a solution to your problem, didn’t you ? “I want everything to go back to normal. Take back my popularity.”, you tell him in one go, once you have the courage to. 

For a second, you see amusement flashing in his eyes, like he’s about to make fun of your wish. Actually, he was about to, question you before he catches on. He catches on way too quickly. Amusement quickly turns to...Disappointment, anger. His eyes quickly travel from your eyes to a point in your room you can’t see, back to your eyes. Features twisted, his breathing slightly changes, so does the temperature in the room. 

“I know what you’re trying to do.”, it’s a growl, a dip in his tone that mimics the shift in the temperature, suddenly getting colder. 

The limp in your throat doesn’t help, cold sweat probably ruins your makeup as you try your best to keep your composure. 

“Jaehyun, it’s-”, you try, almost turning desperate. Your words get caught when he takes a step closer, you know he can and might lean out but he doesn’t do it, yet. 

“You’re trying trying to get rid of me.”, it’s laced with anger. Anger, venom and disappointment. It’s the lather that has your heart breaking. You’re human after all, it’s only natural that you feel bad about your decision. 

“I’m not trying to get rid of you ! It’s just that, after last night…”, you can’t even explain yourself, you’re unable to put words into your feelings. 

“I knew it, you’re like everyone else.”, he spits out. His nose crunches up, disgusted. The young man looks down at you, eyebrows furrow, lips twisting. “Using me.”, the words echo in your room, he uses every mirror to let you know. 

“Jaehyun, stop.”, you beg. You beg, tears in your eyes. Obviously, he doesn’t. He has it heavy on his chest, he’ll speak even if you don’t hear him. 

“Using me to get what you want, only to ditch me. Leave me. Forget about me.”, anger clear in his voice, it’s loud, louder than what a normal man could be. The slight fog around his body grows thicker, darker, almost threatening. Goosebumps on your arms, the shirt you’re wearing doesn’t help how cold you’re feeling. 

“I don’t want to forget you !”, you choke between tears, freely letting them fall down your cheeks. “You don’t understand ! You can’t - You can’t stay with me forever.” You hiccup, using your fingers to dry your tears. 

Jaehyun doesn’t answer, Adam’s Apple bobbing up and down as he blinks slowly. Anger has his jaw tight, chest raising up and down at a steady rhythm. 

“I could’ve.”, he argues but it’s clear he half believes it. He couldn’t stay forever by your side, you wouldn’t be able to live your life in such a way. Shooting him a look that says it all, he doesn’t argue, he doesn’t continue. “You said your wish anyways. So be it.” 

Unlike last time, it isn’t as happy, isn’t as fierce. It’s abandonment, he has to anyways. The glow behind him changes, shifts. 

You can’t feel the changes of your wish right away. Jaehyun stays a cold face, almost refusing to look at you. The breath you didn’t know you were holding gets out in a sigh, your shoulders flopping down. 

Silence. Silence for seconds while he looks to the side. 

And suddenly, he turns around again, looking right into your eyes. “I have my wish, too.”, he says, coldly. 

Before you can even argue, help him find something, offer one yourself, he cuts you off. Letting his hand out of the mirror, he doesn’t even completely lean out.

Looking down at his hand, you already know. You know what he’s going to ask for. “Jaehyun…”, you try, voice small. You don't want to cry again, throat completely cut. 

“I want a dance, darling.”, he says, nickname sounding cold. You were expecting this wish, somewhere in the back of your mind, you’d think that maybe, he wouldn’t want to let you go. Nonetheless, it still tightens you heart, makes it pound in your chest. 

If you could drop to your knees at this very moment, you would. But your body’s frozen, stuck in place. The plea you whisper isn’t of any use. You’re obligated to, before you even know it, your body’s pushed. 

Your hand lands in his, cold skin against your own. Touch gentle, he guides you towards him. 

To effortlessly move into another world, it feels like crossing a thin waterfall. You have to close your eyes when Jaehyun gently pulls your body towards the mirror. For a second, you don’t open your eyes, not knowing what to expect. Entire, pitch black room ? Jaehyun’s true appearance ? You don’t know, you can’t even begin to imagine. Your laced hands in the air, Jaehyun’s left hand placed itself in your back, classic position for a slow dance. “Y/N.”, he calls softly, too softly for the wish he just asked for. 

You look up. 

He looks normal, entirely human. No more glossy skin, you can see every small detail, every long lash, every freckle, deep dimples on each side of his lips. Milky skin, rosy lips. He doesn’t look as mad as he did previously, like having you right next to him managed to appease him. Unable to answer, you only look into his eyes. Even brighter, brown and golden sparks, the light he was lacking before is here, fully. He looks alive. When you don’t answer, a song starts playing, one you quickly recognise. Sway. It sounds far away, like a distant dream, it resonates. Only then, do you have the guts to look around. Jaehyun’s wearing the same clothes, around you, everything looks glossy. Glass walls without an edge, you could make the faintest outline of a castle, golden lights and pretty chandelier. Heavy, the pictures look wavy, like casted upon a distorted mirror. You can’t recognise not make anything else up. But, what takes you back, rips a gasp out of your lips, are the people. 

Dozens of people dancing, slowly to the song. They mimic you and Jaehyun’s movements as he guides you, makes you sway, bend under his expert hands. All those people dancing and yet, they all look empty. It’s only when your eyes fall upon a man, dressed in royal uniform that you understand. All these people, he trapped them all with him. 

You gasp and, as you’re about to question him, he speaks up. “Darling, look at me.”, he demands.

When you do, he meets you with a soft smile, comprehensive look in his eyes. “I understand, I understand why you did it.”, he starts. Finally, you’re the one to break him off. It’s clear he’s the one guiding your body, you don’t think you have any control over it at this very moment. He makes you dance in his makeshift castle, the only place he can rule over. 

“I didn’t know what do to.”, you confess. Do you want to leave him ? No. But the grey area it leaves you in keeps hurting your brain, thorns you apart every second. “My intentions were never to use you.”, you tell him, gulping down as you pass a couple twirling, clearly from different centuries. Jaehyun knows, the words he let out of pure anger, he did not think them one bit. After all, you didn’t even know what to wish for. “I know.”, he calmly says. Face close to yours, you don’t mind the proximity. “Enjoy the moment with me. Please, doll.” 

How can you truly enjoy the moment when you’re sure he’s going to trap you at any moment, have you stuck with him forever ? You almost lean into the idea, give in. You know this song well enough, the end is near and all you can do is look up into Jaehyun’s eyes. If he wants you here, you can not fight it. Can you ? 

The entity has his eyes closed, forehead against your own. Softly, he whispers out only for you to hear. “It was a pleasure meeting you. Thank you for making me feel love again.”, he starts. “But I can not be selfish.” Before you can let something out, his lips softly press against the bone of your cheek and, his hands let you free to move, moments before the end of the song. An arm in front of his, he bows down with a slight smile. It isn’t hard to see the sadness he isn’t hiding. “I guess this is a goodbye. Go, run.” 

You have well enough time and, when you understand that, you run, just like he asked. Heart pumping, you run, run towards the small frame where you can see the outline of your bedroom and, before you know it, the same waterfall. The sudden shift has you tumbling down, dropping to your knees. 

“Jaehyun !”, you don’t care about your voice right now, you scream loud enough. Down on the fall, facing your mirror, Jaehyun faces you again, squatting down like he loves to do. The same sad smile on his face. Your hand flat on the surface, you hit your mirror like you’re hitting a window. You see it, he’s facing, slowly. Translucid, it’s a question of seconds before he’s entirely gone. Then, when tears fill your eyes, an invisible hand twist your heart, you understand. 

Again and again, you tap on the glass.

“I’ll get you out, I promise !” 

[silverynight]

Dead end

Tanjirou has come to the conclusion that running away towards the big city was a mistake. He's never seen so many people before; it's overwhelming. Nezuko is grabbing his hand hard, almost painfully, although Tanjirou has learned to endure pain in the two years that he stayed with Urokodaki.

Nezuko pulls, managing to draw his attention away from the bakery and back to her. Almost desperately, she makes a few gestures with her hands, pointing in the direction of the mountain.

He sighs, feeling sad inside; he'd like to hear her voice again, but she has refused to speak a word since their family was killed. He's never pressed her though.

"You know we can't go back," Tanjirou mumbles, feeling bad for causing her sorrow. "I miss him too, but you know they're looking for us so he'll probably be safer alone."

Sighing, Nezuko nods, hugs his brother and keeps walking next to him, trying not to collide with the people around and holding his hand.

She's not the only one wishing they could go back, he's constantly thinking about it. Once he thought they could be happy there, in that small village with Urokodaki, but for some reason the people that killed their family also wanted to kill them both.

Tanjirou doesn't understand; Urokodaki said the man behind it was the leader of a crime syndicate and that his name was Muzan. There were two crime groups in Japan; the one led by Kibutsuji and the other by nine people who were called the hashira.

"The Pillars are skilled swordsmen; you'll never find people more capable than them in combat," Urokodaki explained one night. "But they're also dangerous in their own ways."

Urokodaki taught him how to fight with a katana during those two years; he insisted it was necessary in case Kibutsuji came back for him (and he was right).

However, since the katana was Urokodaki's Tanjirou left it behind, instead he brought an axe and hoped for the best.

Nezuko stops; she's blinking, trying to stay awake. They're both tired and hungry and even though Tanjirou would love to get something to eat, he needs to find a place where they both can spend the night first.

Tomorrow he needs to get a job.

His money is not enough to pay for a night in the first place they find. Tanjirou offers himself for any kind of job, but the owner claims he doesn't need more employees at the moment.

"I know a place where you can get money though," he grins, looking over his shoulder. "If you're willing to let your girl work."

Confused, he looks up at the man, who steps into the light to look closely at him.

"I also know a place for pretty boys like you," he adds, taking Tanjirou's chin. "Someone like you can get more than a few coins for spending a night with–"

Moving away from the man, as Tanjirou starts to blush, he runs away from there as quickly as possible.

"I think this was a mistake," he tells Nezuko.

He definitely doesn't like the city.

The second place they arrive to is even worse, not because of how it looks, but due to what they find out when they get there.

"I'm not sure," the woman mumbles, eyeing at them both. "I haven't seen you around here before. The hashira have strict rules when it comes to people from outside the city."

"The hashira?" Tanjirou shivers, feeling suddenly exposed; he looks around, nervous.

"This city belongs to them."

They need to go back immediately. Grabbing Nezuko's hand, he begins to run in the opposite direction, however in his desperation he ends up in a dark alley with a dead end.

"Alright. We just need to turn around," he mumbles, feeling nervous.

"The boy with the hanafuda earrings!" A voice says, amusement ringing in it. "Finally! My Lord Kibutsuji will be happy when I bring your head to him!"

There's a boy with her as well. He's carrying a couple of daggers while she's bouncing two temari in her hands.

"They're coming after me," he mumbles, almost in relief. "Listen, Nezuko, I want you to hide and wait for the perfect opportunity to run away. I'll try to distract them."

Nezuko narrows her eyes, she's fuming, angry at the thought of leaving him behind. She gestures something about never leaving him.

Even though he appreciates it, Tanjirou would've preferred her to choose running away.

However, there's no time to argue. He turns around with the axe in his hand, but a temari passes right over his shoulder. At first Tanjirou believes the girl missed, but when he hears Nezuko's scream and sees her fall to the ground he almost runs towards her.

He can't, there's no time. He charges at the girl quickly, dodging a temari as he runs, only to realize that the boy plans to stab Nezuko even though she's unconscious on the ground.

Without thinking twice, he throws the axe and cuts the boy's arm off; Tanjirou doesn't really like hurting others, but if Nezuko's life is in danger, he knows he'll do anything to keep her safe.

Even though the boy is bleeding because of the wound, he still tries to attack Tanjirou again.

The girl cackles in such a way before running towards his fallen sister at the same time the other tries to reach him, Tanjirou knows he will only have the time to block her attack.

But then, from the roof of the house next to the alley a shadow jumps in front of the Kamado siblings. The young man doesn't say a word as he moves his katana with such ability that it makes impossible for Tanjirou to follow the attack. In the blink of an eye he cuts their heads without even uttering a word.

They both fall to the ground, making Tanjirou gasp and think how glad he is that Nezuko is unconscious at the moment. Quickly, he gets closer and doesn't think too much before taking her in his arms. He wonders if he could run past the swordsman and back into the noisy streets.

However, the young man turns around and looks back at him. Tanjirou curls over Nezuko, trying to protect her with his own body.

"I'm not gonna hurt you or your sister, Tanjirou," he says, surprising him. The young man has black, long hair and blue eyes that don't let any emotion to be reflected in them. Well, perhaps... irritation. They're shadowed with it at the moment. "You should've stayed with Urokodaki."

"How do you know that? How do you know my name?" Tanjirou asks, flinching away when he sees the man with the mismatched haori moving his katana quickly to clean it up. When it's back into its saya, he allows himself to relax... just a little.

"I'm Tomioka Giyuu," he introduces himself, moving even closer. "I'm the one who saved you that day."

No... That's not possible. Well, Tanjirou only remembers falling on the snow from exhaustion, looking for a place where someone could patch her sister up and then... nothing.

He woke up in Urokodaki's house the next day. He just assumed...

"Come with me."

Before he can say anything, two people arrive to the scene; Tanjirou imagines them screaming and calling the police, but instead of even glancing in the corpses' direction, they bow in front of Tomioka respectfully.

"Clean the area," he mumbles and both man and woman nod, before using bandages to cover the corpses completely.

Tomioka is... He must be...

"I'm afraid you and your girl got in trouble in the wrong city, sweet boy," a young woman with a haori that reminds him of butterfly wings chuckles. Tanjirou notices that she's also carrying a sword, although it looks like a small one. "You're in hashira territory now. And you brought Kibutsuji's assassins here. Now you must face all the Pillars."

"Please... I just need to get my sister to a doctor. I promise we'll go after that and you'll never see us again."

"It's too late now," she grins gently at him at the same time Tomioka walks in the middle of them. "Oh? You've broken a few rules already, Giyuu. Do you want to break more?"

"Shinobu, he's... I'm sure they won't cause us any more trouble if we let them–"

"He needs to be judged by all the hashira, Tomioka," another young swordsman appears out of nowhere, he has a white snake around his neck; his mouth is covered.

Tomioka nods, knowing they don't have a choice now, but he gets closer to Tanjirou as if trying to shield him from the other two.

"Come," he says, as kindly as possible.

"But Nezuko is bleeding..."

"Don't worry," Shinobu smiles, clapping her hands together. "I'll take care of that."

Two people arrive and pry Nezuko away from Tanjirou. He tries to fight them, but Tomioka puts a strong hand over his shoulder to stop him.

"She'll be fine," he assures him.

However, Tanjirou knows that he's completely trapped now; if they have Nezuko he won't have other choice but to do as they say.

***

The house they walk in is huge. Tanjirou ends up sitting on the floor in a room with dim light and a table in the middle. Tomioka and Shinobu get in the room right next to it.

They don't even tell him to stay; they must know he would never leave without his sister.

He's worried, however, he doesn't get scared until he catches a few sentences of the conversation.

"See? Giyuu is putting his life at risk for them."

"That doesn't mean anything, Tengen! They mean trouble if Kibutsuji is after them."

"We're not afraid of him, Sanemi."

"No, we're not, but we also don't interfere in other people's problems."

"Besides, why do we do with Tomioka? He hid them from us all this time."

"Obanai has a point!"

"I saw the girl! She's so pretty! Is her the one you're doing this for, Giyuu? That's so romantic!"

"It's the boy, Mitsuri," Shinobu is the only voice Tanjirou recognizes because Tomioka hasn't said anything yet. Still, nothing they've been saying makes any sense to him. The only thing he's sure about is that he's in trouble. "He's doing this for Tanjirou."

"Now I'm curious, Kocho."

"Let's see him then!"

The door slides open and Tanjirou doesn't have time to react when nine people walk inside. All of them are carrying katanas.

He looks down, but a huge hand grabs him by the chin to make him look up at them.

"Hey! Be careful!"

"Calm down, Giyuu. You know me, I'd never hurt such a pretty thing like this one," the one speaking has white hair tied up in a ponytail and what it looks like a headband with a couple of gemstones all over it. His eyes are deep pink. He's one of the tallest among them.

"Come on, stand up, my boy. Let us see you!" Another says, putting both arms over his shoulders, lifting him like he weighed nothing to help him stand. His voice is loud, although the thing that surprises him the most about him is his hair and eyes. They're like fire: yellow and red. It's really difficult for Tanjirou to look away from him. "I'm Rengoku Kyojuro!"

"Kamado Tanjirou," he mumbles, after a couple of them introduce themselves.

"I want to keep him," Tokito says after a while. Uzui looks back at him with amusement.

"He's my responsibility now."

"I'm sorry, Giyuu, but you know the rules here. You too, Muichiro," Rengoku grins, cupping Tanjirou's face in his hands. Even though he knows he's in front of one of the leaders of a crime syndicate, he feels safe for a couple of seconds. "If we keep him, he's going to be under everyone's protection."

"What about Nezuko? Is she going to be alright? Will you protect her as well?"

Rengoku nods, stroking Tanjirou's hair. Right next to him, Tomioka's shoulders tense.

"Of course, but you owe us now, Tanjirou."

That's all it takes to remind himself that he's in front of dangerous people.

"I understand, I'll do my best to–"

"I can pay off his debt," Tomioka offers, surprising Tanjirou again.

"You know we don't want money, Giyuu," Shinobu says, waving her hand dismissively.

"And we want nothing from you," Tokito adds, almost bored.

"What do you want?" Tanjirou asks, nervous, even though he notices that a few of them are looking down at him with a fond expression.

Without giving him any warning, Uzui takes him in his arms, prompting Tanjirou to wrap his arms and legs around him out of instinct.

"We want to welcome you to our family," the hashira grins, confusing him.

It's hard to see them as dangerous criminals when they act like that.

"I'll introduce you to my wives..."

"Wait! I want to see Nezuko."

"Of course, my boy!" Rengoku nods, taking him away from Uzui who pouts immediately. Tomioka looks irritated, but he follows them close anyway.

She's not awake yet, but she looks much better now. She has a bandage all around her forehead and new clothes. Two girls are right there taking care of her, as soon as they see the hashira though, they start bowing nervously.

Rengoku puts Tanjirou on the bed and the boy leans to take one if Nezuko's hand in his. Tomioka kneels next to him.

"You'll be safe here, Tanjirou. I'll protect you."

He nods, feeling better despite of knowing his mother would never have approved of something like that. But what other choice does he have? If being with the hashira means Nezuko can be safe, then he'll accept it.

"You selfish, stubborn bastard! Didn't you hear, Giyuu?" Shinazugawa huffs. "We will protect the siblings from now own. Tanjirou owes us now. He's ours."

"I thought you were against this arrangement, Sanemi," Uzui chuckles, prompting the other to growl at him.

"I'm a Pillar. If the majority has decided that he's worth the risk, then he is worth it."

Even though he doesn't like when they don't mention Nezuko, part of him is glad that they consider the debt is only Tanjirou's to pay.

That way she can be free as soon as Kibutsuji stops hunting them or dies.

"No one will hurt you again," Rengoku promises, leaning enough for their foreheads to touch. His eyes are intense. "They're too afraid of us to even try."

Tanjirou is not sure, but something tells him that Muzan is not going to give up that easy.

***

Next ->

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[iliveiloveiwrite]

I find myself travelling back to you // Simon Basset

Request: Could you possibly write a Simon Basset fic where maybe the reader is like a childhood friend and he bumps into them and they talk and catch up with maybe some romance or something - anon

A/N: My first Simon fic! I am a little uncertain of this as I am not sure whether I have Simon’s character down yet. I hope you all like! Thank you for requesting, I hope I have done it justice.

Pairing: Simon Basset x Fem!Reader

Warnings: childhood friends, pining, mutual pining, fluff, some angst, she/her pronouns, female reader.

Word count: 3.8k

There was not a cloud in the sky as you made your way through Mayfair after having turned down a carriage. Instead, you chose to walk away the morning, happy to feel the warmth of the sun through the layers of your dress.

The streets had started out as quiet; a few souls here and there, but they soon grew busier and busier as routines were started. Dodging bodies here and there, you found it hard to be annoyed at the crowds – the weather too perfect for your mood to be sullied.

A flash of deep red amongst the crowd has your eyes and body on alert; the sound of a deep voice has your ears pricking. “Simon?” You call out, eyebrows furrowing as you spy a familiar head of hair making their way through the crowds.

“(Y/N)?” The man in question answers, eyes wide as he takes in your form.

“It’s been so long,” You whisper, staring into his brown eyes. “I suppose I should call you ‘Your Grace’ now. I was sorry to hear of the passing of your father,” You comment softly, not overly sorry for the death of the man who had mistreated his son so poorly but offering your condolences as a form of social etiquette.

Nodding his head, Simon smiles at you. “Thank you,” He gestures to the elderly lady on his arm, “I am sure you remember Lady Danbury.”

You smile widely at the elderly lady as she grins back at you. “Of course I do,” You laugh, “We meet at least once a week to have tea.”

If possible, Simon’s eyes grow wider to the point where Lady Danbury snorts. “Really now, Simon. Did you expect us ladies to go our separate ways when you left the country?”

“Of course not,” Simon drawls, amused by the elder. “I just didn’t realise you had a close relationship.”

“Well we do. That reminds me,” Lady Danbury pipes up, “I will not be able to make our tea appointment this week, dear (Y/N). My grandson, Gareth, is visiting.”

“Of course, Lady Danbury. We can always rearrange to the following week.”

“Nonsense,” She declares, slamming her cane onto the ground, “Simon will meet with you.”

Casting your gaze to the tall gentleman, it is not hard to miss to the surprise in his eyes. Shaking your head, you state, “I am sure the Duke has more pressing issues than tea with an old friend.”

Lady Danbury opens her mouth to protest your point but is beaten by the Duke. “I have nothing so pressing that cannot be rearranged. I shall meet you tomorrow, I assume Lady Danbury knows the spot.”

With a nod of your head, Simon smiles. He reaches out, grabbing your gloved hand and presses a kiss to the back of it. “Until tomorrow then,” He promises, stepping away from you with Lady Danbury in tow.

“Until tomorrow,” You whisper, watching the strong figure of your childhood friend walk away from you.

Glancing up at the still cloudless sky, you wonder how it is possible that the world keeps spinning when your own has changed so much. Simon left the country years ago, and even then, contact with the man was few and far between. He had left for school and seemingly left you behind. The very fact that he was happy to have tea with you sent shockwaves through your body; not a word for so many years and then this out of the blue.

Now glaring at the sky, you wonder whether there wasn’t a larger game afoot. One that had you reuniting with the childhood love that had left you a bereft teenager; it had you hoping you would not be left a heartbroken adult.

------

The pleasant weather was to continue, you thought to yourself as you sat down in the drawing room. Despite the calmness of the room; the sweet sound birdsong outside of your window, your stomach would not calm. Instead, it was threatening to make a mockery of your breakfast. A missive had arrived late yesterday evening from Lady Danbury explaining that Simon would indeed be calling on you for the promised tea.

Smoothing out your pale blue skirts, you wish desperately that you had brought something to keep you occupied as you wait for his imminent arrival. You curse the fact that you left your latest cross-stitch upstairs in your room, having worked on it late into the night. You could have used it to the pass the time to keep your mind busy.

“The Duke of Hastings,” The butler announces, startling you slightly, stepping aside for Simon to stride into the room.

Simon smiles widely as he spots you standing by the table; he rushes over to you, reaching for your hand, placing a lingering kiss to the back of it before straightening. “(Y/N),” He greets, breathless as if he had rushed all the way over here.

“Simon,” You answer, smiling just as widely.

Following his lead, you take a seat at the table, waiting for the tea service to be brought up.

“How is Lady Danbury?” You question, trying to fill the time for the service to arrive.

Simon laughs. “It seems she is on the warpath. Her grandson, Gareth, arrived this morning still out of sorts from the previous night.”

“No!” You gasp, “He’s barely of age!”

“That is what dear Lady Danbury was reminding poor Gareth as she swung her cane at him. I thought I better leave before her attention and her cane turned to me.”

“A good decision to have made.”

“Definitely,” Simon agrees, “As I was leaving, Gareth was promising his grandmother not to touch another drop of alcohol again though I doubt that promise will stick.”

“Poor Gareth,” You lament, thinking of the times you had been on receiving end of a lecture from Lady Danbury. “She does love him so though.”

“She does,” Simon states, “I remember his birth. It feels so long ago.”

You hum in agreement; wondering how quick time had flown by. Gareth was to be part of the next generation of society; he was to bring it into its future, especially if his grandmother had anything to say about it.

“How long have you been home?” You ask, pouring the both of you some tea now that it had arrived.

“I travelled to Clyvedon to settle things there before journeying down to London. I’ve been back in England just short of a month.”

“Oh,” You murmur, trying your best not to feel hurt that he hadn’t actively sought you out. After all, it had been years since you had last spoken. No correspondence had been exchanged throughout the duration of his travels; Lady Danbury had been the one to update you on where Simon was in the world. He hadn’t written you a single letter despite the long friendship that you still held dear. Instead, it had been an utter coincidence, a meeting in the streets that had proved to you he was still alive and breathing.

“I wanted to come see you,” Simon states, feeling bad about the broken sound that had left your mouth just now. He wasn’t one to talk so openly about his feelings, but he found himself needing to explain to you that he hadn’t stopped thinking of you since he stepped foot on English soil.

“Did you?” You question, sounding very much as if you did not believe a word leaving his mouth. By the unimpressed expression on your face, Simon knew you did not believe him.

“I did, but I got so busy. There were estates to manage, ledgers to balance and announcements to be made. By the time I landed in London, I was so thoroughly exhausted that I simply wandered to Lady Danbury’s home and fell asleep on her chaise-lounge. She wasn’t impressed.”

You snort before realising the impropriety, “I can imagine.”

Simon laughs entertained by the thought of Lady Danbury’s face when she found him snoring away on her chair. “As punishment, she made me accompany her on a walk… where we ran into you.”

“What a punishment,” You drawl.

Simon rolls his eyes at your tone. “I like to think of it as a happy coincidence.”

“Then I shall look at it in the same manner.”

There was something different about the man sitting across from you. Was it how he held his spoon? How he stirred his tea? Had the years abroad moulded him into a new person, one you could barely recognise?

Simon held himself entirely different to how he would when he was younger. His posture, perfect. His stance, brimming with confidence. It takes you aback somewhat as you take in the changes the years away at school and abroad have placed on his body.

Would your friendship still stand after so long apart? Is Simon simply placating Lady Danbury by having him meet you for tea? He talks such pretty words; can form sentences that leaves your mind in a spin, but this is the same man that had left the country without so much as a goodbye in your direction.

Reaching for your tea, you distract yourself from such intrusive thoughts. The tea clears your mind; letting you form a blank slate in your mind. “Enough talk of the past, no matter how recent,” You declare, “You left so long ago and came back a new person. It seems I need to get to know the new one.”

Simon smiles at you from his place across the table. “The same could be said for you too.”

You smile though it doesn’t reach your eyes. You don’t mention how you had spent the last few years turning down every marriage proposal offered to you due to your heart belonging to another even in its broken state. “Time is a marvellous thing,” You offer instead, grabbing a small cake from the stand.

“Indeed,” Simon murmurs, eyes following the cake from the plate to your mouth. Despite the time that had passed, his feelings had not changed. They had grown stronger instead. By now, Simon truly understood the meaning of absence making the heart grow fonder. All through his travels, he had cursed himself for not asking you to join him. Through every country, principality and dominion, Simon wondered how it would be for you to be there with him, experiencing the wonders of it all.

“Where was your favourite place to travel?” You ask, leaning forward slightly, “I’ve never travelled further than France.”

Simon nods, remembering your trip abroad with the same pang of sadness he felt back then. He knew logically that you were sat across from him, yet the longing in his body did nothing to help repress the urge to reach out for your hand across the table – to touch you so he would know that you were there, and this wasn’t a figment of his imagination.

“I think my favourite place to visit was Greece. I stayed on the mainland for a while before eventually making my way around the islands. Each island had its own charms, but there was one that had me questioning whether I could live there for the rest of my life. It was so calm, so quiet. Not even the thoughts in my head could distract me from its serenity.”

“Do you miss it?”

“The island?”

“The travelling.”

Simon sighs, staring out of the window as he thinks of over his answer. Eventually, he says, “I miss the sights and the people. I miss the smells and the food. However, I do not miss the time zones. There were moments where I didn’t know what time it was, let alone what day it was.”

“It sounds as if you had a magical time,” You sigh, trying your best not to think of Simon in the desperate heat of the Mediterranean.

“It had its moments,” Simon admits, thinking of the hours he had spent in markets, trying local delicacies and drinking traditionally made coffee. He had adored every second of his travels; he hadn’t minded the odd illness that came along with a new environment when there was so much to learn and so much to experience.

“Will you be travelling again soon?”

“It depends,” Simon answers.

“On?”

“On whether I find anything to keep me here.”

Silence falls over you both as you take in his words, trying to find the meaning of them. Taking a sip of your tea, you wonder whether your friendship with the Duke would be enough to keep him grounded at home for longer than a few weeks at a time. Your heart skips a beat at thought that you might not be enough; your feelings for the Duke had never surprised you. They had not surprised Lady Danbury when you showed up on her doorstep in floods of tears after Simon had left for the continent; she had simply welcomed you into her home with words of comfort and reassurances.

“Will you be attending Lady Danbury’s ball later this week?” You ask, needing to take your mind off that terrible evening.

Simon chuckles, placing his teacup on its saucer. “I shall be in attendance. I find it hard to turn down Lady Danbury. Will you be there?”

You nod, thinking of the dress you had made special. “I will. I’m quite excited if I’m to be honest.”

“Why is that?”

You shrug, “The theme, the music, the company. Lady Danbury never fails with her balls.”

“She does not,” Simon agrees, remembering the grandiosity of such events before he left to travel.

“So I shall see you there?” You ask, your voice hopeful as if daring to wonder whether Simon would attend before no doubt leaving the country once more.

“You shall. Would you save me a dance perhaps?” Simon asks, his usual mischief alight in his eyes.

You smile widely, “Always.”

--------

The rest of the week is spent in anticipation; desperate for the hours to quicken so you could walk through the home of Lady Danbury to find Simon already waiting for you. A hopeless dream, but a dream, nonetheless.

The Duke of Hastings remains on your mind for the rest of the week. One chance meeting and one organised tea and it seems that the man had made his home in your mind and brought to life the feelings you were certain were dormant.

With those feelings in mind, you prepare for Lady Danbury’s ball knowing full well you were about to spend the evening in the presence of Simon, but also watching the mothers of London’s available fawn over him as if he was a prize to be won. It was enough to make your blood boil.

Ridding yourself of such anger, you enter the home of Lady Danbury.

Lady Danbury never spared any expense when it came her to time to host the event of the season. She knew that it would be reported on, that it would be spoken about. She also knew that there was a chance that many matches could be made that night; so no expense could be spared in the battle for love matches among the ton.

The sight of the ballroom takes your breath away as you enter. Lady Danbury had chosen the theme of the moon, stars and sun – asking her guests to dress in colours relating to either. Your navy blue skirts swish together the further you walk into the room, distracted by the moon and star decorations hanging from the high vaulted ceilings.

You’re so enraptured by the scenery that you do not hear the footsteps approaching or the whispers of the women beside you. It isn’t until you hear him call your name that you turn your gaze from the silver decorations.

“Simon,” You greet with a smile, “How have you been?”

“Very well,” He replies, “And yourself?”

“I’m fine, thank you for asking.”

“You look wonderful,” Simon compliments; eyes raking up and down your body.

Your skin heats at his rapt attention; flashes of heat soaring through you as your mind begins to think of all sorts of scenarios where you could keep his eyes on you for much longer. “Thank you,” You answer, voice breathy, “You look very handsome too.”

“Would you do me the honour of dancing with me?” Simon asks, voice quiet in the loud room.

Nodding your head, you take his outstretched hand and allow him to lead you onto the dancefloor where many other couples are gathering.

Simon’s hand is soft on the small of your back; soft but insistent as it brings you closer to his own body. Wrapped up entirely in him, you find it hard to concentrate on the steps of the dance, easily being led around the dancefloor by the man who had captured your heart before you had even known the meaning of the word.

A large smile spreads over his face as he spins you out and brings you back. A surprised laugh leaves your lips as Simon spins you once more; the delight settling deep within your bones, melding to become a memory that would always be with you. Simon’s own laughter soons join yours and before long, neither of you are paying much attention and custom – the both of you having far too much fun in each other’s arms to be aware of the looks and glances being sent your way.

As the music fades into silence, Simon’s grip on you loosens reluctantly. He doesn’t want to let go of you; doesn’t know when the next time he can hold you this close will be. If he could, he would steal you away right now, but etiquette and his title demands he be a gentleman.

With a strained smile, Simon bows at you once before turning away without a word. So deep in his thoughts, he doesn’t see you escape to the gardens before it is too late.

------

The gardens at Lady Danbury’s home had always been spectacular, but in the night, they were even more magnificent. Despite the shadows of night, you were not scared as you walked down the paths, fingers absently brushing over the flowers of delicately blooming flora.

Rather, your mind was occupied by the one man who had returned into your life after such a sizeable absence. Simon had danced with you tonight, and every aspect felt so perfect. The way his hand covered yours; the way his palm felt pressed against the small of your back. Bringing your hand to your mouth, you hide the smile on your face as you think of the way he had laughed with you as he spun you across the floor. He had looked so young; so carefree, as if he hadn’t the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“I wondered where you had wandered off to,” A voice sounds from behind you, startling you.

“Simon!” You gasp, clutching your chest, “You scared me!”

He chuckles, holding his hands up in surrender as he steps closer to you. “That was not my intention,” He promises, his smile wide.

“What was your intention then?” You ask, an eyebrow raised in challenge.

“I wanted to ask you a question should you allow it.”

“We are alone,” You remind him, “We should move inside.”

“Please,” Simon pleads, “It won’t take long.”

You pause your steps. The cool night air settles around you as you wait for Simon to ask his question.

“Why did you never marry?” Simon demands; his eyes blazing with the need to know. “I know you had proposals; Lady Danbury even told me so.”

“There was never anyone good enough,” You confess, fisting your hands in the skirts of your dress to keep yourself from reaching out for him. “I tried. I really tried, but I always found myself thinking of you or wondering about you. Even though you never wrote, I still fell in love with you.”

Simon inhales sharply; not expecting your confession. You hadn’t expected to be so honest, but your heart was in control of your mouth; your mind taking a backseat on this one. Your heart had yearned after this man since you had learned the very definition of the word ‘love’.

“Why did you never write?” You ask, finally verbalising the question that had plagued your mind since the moment he had left.

He remains silent, so you repeat your question with a firmer voice. “Why did you never write, Simon?”

“If I had written to you, I would have come home.”

“Would that have been so bad?”

“I needed to get away, I had to leave. To do that, I had to cut strings with you, or I never would have become the man I am today. I never would have become worthy of you.”

“It is for me to decide whether you are worthy of me, Simon Basset. I have found you worthy of my love since you were ten years old and getting caught hiding a fish in the footmen’s bed if you must know.”

“For that long?” He asks; his voice a mere hoarse gasp as he battles with this new information.

“For that long,” You affirm.

“I always found myself travelling back to you,” Simon admits, “I would be in the furthest corner of the world and my mind would question why you were never by my side. On my last trip, I found myself packing my belongings with you on my mind before I had even made the decision to return home. My father was part of it, I’ll admit. But you… you were the whole reason why I returned to London.”

“What does this mean?” You ask, confused and emotional over the night’s confessions.

“It means I no longer want to travel the world if you are not by my side. It means I want to court you and follow the traditions of society. I have two loves in my life: travel and you.”

“You love me?”

He nods, “I have since I was a teenager.”

“I love you too,” You respond honestly, seeing no reason to lie in a moment like this.

“So,” Simon sighs as your words settle over him like a balm over an open wound, “Shall we do this properly? Courting and the like.”

“I think I would. I think we could start right now,” You whisper, stepping closer to the man who you felt certain was the love of your life.

“Right now?”

You nod you head, smiling widely as you reach for the lapels of his jacket. “I think we could start this very moment with a kiss. What do you think?”

Simon glances from side to side, checking for witnesses, “Only if you promise not to kiss another.”

“I don’t think that would be an issue,” You admit happily, “Kiss me, Simon.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

*******

Bridgerton Taglist: @heloisedaphnebrightmore @dreaming-about-fanfictions @now-its-time-for-a-breakdown @janelongxox @aspiringsloth20 @wallwriterstuff @magicalxdaydream @darkestbeforethedawn16 @gryffindors-weasley

[etherealino]

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐈𝐓

synopsis: five months into the relationship and still, you were too shy (and scared that chan wouldn’t say it back) to say the three words. until one time, you did.

genre: idolverse, pure ol’ fluff

warning(s): cursing as always. i’m sorry

word count: 1.4k

note: last fic for 2020 !! hopefully i’m more active next year than i was this year. anyway, 2020 was a very harsh year for all of us, buuuuut don’t forget that in some little ways, we became happy this year. i wish everyone nothing but the very best for the upcoming year !! i love you guys uwu. anyway,,, JDSBJHDS credits to my friend on the last i love you

one.

First hug? Done. First kiss? Done. First cuddle? Way before dating, done. First fight? Ugly, but done. First time to sleep in each others arms? Done. But never, and I mean never have you ever said the three words you’ve been dying to say. You just always felt like it was never the right time to say it or you get scared that Chan would say that he doesn’t feel the same way. So, yes, you are an idiot. 

“Hey, Chan,” you greeted with a smile through the other line as you played with the ends of your blanket that was draped over your lap. 

“Hey, beautiful. You okay?” Chan asks and to be quite honest, you could hear the smile through his voice.

“Yeah, yeah. I just..” you trail off, smiling. “Are you busy?”

“Nope. I just finished a song and I’m just fixing my things. Do you need something?” The boy on the other line says and you hum. 

“Nothing, baby. I just called to check on you.” You said and Chan felt his heart do flips against his ribcage. Yours immediately sped up the moment you heard Chan’s giggles.

“Are you flirting with me, ma’am?” Chan teases and you groan, but a smile is still on your face. “I’m sorry, but I have a girlfriend, you know.”

“Hey! I am your girlfriend.” You said with laugh. “Wait, you are referring to me, right?”

“Who else would it be?” Chan says and you laugh. With a moment of silence, you pulled the phone away from your ear and looked at the time. When you saw it was getting late, you pressed the phone back to your ear and said, “Hey, you should go sleep. It’s getting late. You still have a music show to go to tomorrow, right?”

Chan hums, “Yeah.” He mumbles. “You should sleep too, bub.”

“Promise that you would actually sleep?” You tease him and there goes those boyish giggles that makes you want to hug him and never let him go.

“I promise.” Chan says, a wide grin on his face. “Thanks for checking on me, baby.”

“Of course.” You said and Chan hummed. You were supposed to pull the phone away from your ear and hang the call up, but instead— “Chan!”

“Yeah, baby?”

I love you. You wanted to say, but instead, “I— G-Good night.”

“Good night, baby. Sweet dreams.”

two.

Chan doesn’t like coffee, everyone knows that. He announced that loud and clear. So there he is, right in front of you sipping on his pineapple juice as he scrolls through his phone, playing God knows what. And there you are right across him, staring at him—simping as one would say. With a palm supporting your cheek as your elbow rests on the table, you take in Chan’s features. Chan is beautiful with his makeup, highlighting his beauty, but fuck when he’s not wearing any makeup? You just want to pepper kisses all over his face and do it all over and over again.

“Are you aware of how much you mean to me?” 

Chan takes his gaze off of his phone and to you, innocent wide eyes staring into yours. “W-What?” Chan stammers and you shrug.

“I just.. I don’t know,” you giggle, shyly smiling as you move your head, moving it to where your cheek was resting. “I just.. you know,” I love you. “You mean a lot to me.”

Chan softly smiles and stands up, bending over the table to kiss your lips. “You mean a lot to me, too.” Chan whispers and you grab his hand, pressing a gentle kiss against his knuckles.

three.

Four days. Four days since you’ve seen Chan and have a proper conversation with him. It’s not like you were clingy, but yeah, doll, you are. So you prepared food for him and made your way down to his studio, ready to baby him as he keeps working. That’s if it’s alright with him, of course.

“Channie?” You call, knocking on his door and opening it lightly, poking your head into the studio. There he sat in his swivel chair, upper body turned to you with his wide eyes and mouth lightly open in the cutest way possible.

“Baby! What are you doing here?” Chan asks as he stands up, walking towards you. You open your free arm to take him in a hug and Chan immediately did, kissing your forehead as he smiles at you.

“I brought you food!” You said with enthusiasm.

“Thanks, but you really didn’t have to bother.” Chan says with a light frown which you kissed away, causing it to be replaced by a smile.

“Let me take care of you, alright?” You said and Chan lightly laughed, kissing your lips as he took you in a hug once again. “I’ll be on the side feeding you your food or I could clean the studio for you. Whichever you feel comfortable with while working, okay?”

“Okay, cuddle with me while working.”

“What—”

Chan cuts you off, pulling you to the swivel chair. He sits on it and pulls you to sit in between his lap. With an arm around your wait, free hand on the mouse of his computer, Chan kisses your cheek and smiles as he continues to work.

four.

“I just realized,” Chan speaks up and you turn your head, looking at him with a wide smile. “Everyone likes Saturn, don’t they?” Humming lightly, you turn back to the view of the night sky right in front of you.

“Yeah, they do.” You said with a light laugh. “Mostly everyone draws it.”

“Even you do.” Chan says and you look at him. “I saw your notes. They got a lot of Saturns on the side.” You chuckle, shaking your head. A sigh escapes your lips and you look at the stars that littered across Earth’s sky with the moon on that one side, lighting up brightly.

“I wonder what’s it like in Saturn.” You said randomly and Chan looks at you. “How would it look like to stand at the very center of Saturn and look up, see moons scatter all over the nicght sky instead of stars.”

Chan hums. “I bet it’s very pretty.” He mumbles with a smile.

“Yeah,” you agree with a smile, turning back to the night sky.

“But Jupiter has the most moons, right?” Chan asks. “Imagine how that would look like.”

“Saturn surpassed Jupiter, Chan.” You said with a smile. “Saturn has 82 moons now.” You said with sigh, smiling as you look at the only moon of the Earth. 

“Hm? I thought 53?” Chan says.

“Yeah, 29 are to be confirmed.” You said with a smile. Chan lightly giggles, leaning in, to kiss your cheek. When Chan stands up straight, going back to observe the stars, you started to observe him. God, how did you get so lucky? Chan thinks he’s the lucky one but to be quite frank both of you really did hit jackpot on finding each other. You were happy. You’re home. “Hey, Chan?”

“Yeah, baby?

“I love you to Saturn and to its 82 moons and back, my love.”

Chan turns his head to you, looking at you with an expression that was difficult to decipher. You finally said it. Oh my God, you finally said it. After months of holding it back and trying to be careful, you slipped. When you realized you said it out loud, you put a hand over your lips and looked at Chan with wide eyes.

“Chan, I-”

“I love you, too.” Chan says and slowly, his smile grows back. “I mean, I know you do. You just show it in a different way, saying it without actually saying it. But that was so.. I.. I’m so happy that you finally said it.”

You chuckle, pulling your lips into a thin line. Then, you opened your arms wide with Chan immediately wrapping his arms around your waist and embracing you. You hug back, grinning widely as you sigh, turning your head to kiss the man’s jaw to which he giggles.

“I’m sorry it took long. I was just scared you won’t feel the same.” You say, tightening your hold on to him. Much to your dismay, Chan pulls away and pushes your hair behind your ear with his fingertips with a touch of light feather, looking into your eyes with a smile.

“Believe me,” Chan mumbles. “I really do love you.”

You smile, pushing your lips against his and Chan kissing back immediately. Just like Saturn’s rings, your love for Chan goes around for endless rounds of loops.

[ultralovedeluxe]

Yan! Josuke with prompts #19, #44, and #29

Hello everyone! This was requested by @mochimizuki121 , thank you for requesting! Feared that it came out ooc, that’s why it took so long. Not proud of this one, but I hope you enjoy it! 

‘Please don’t cry, show me that smile I love so much!’

‘Did you really think you could escape?’

‘Stop denying our love! Stop denying our future together!’

Warnings: 18 year old Josuke, female reader, yandere behaviors, assault, manipulation, break-up, angst (?), some Okuyasu x reader, ooc, light nsfw, non/dub con, blackmail

  A word to describe Higashikata Josuke would be, emotional. Yes, that’s the perfect way to describe him. He lets his feelings take over in situations, but most importantly, his feelings towards you were getting in the way of his friendship. But he won’t ever admit that

 Yes..emotional was a perfect word to describe Higashikata Josuke..

-

  Here he was again, listening to Okuyasu’s ramblings. Usually Josuke wouldn’t mind listening to his friend, after all it was a delight to hear his friend speak. If only his friend wasn’t talking about how cute you looked when you slept, or what noise you made when he would poke your cheek. It was painful to just keep smiling, seeing your best friend with the girl of his dreams together. Josuke wanted to be happy for his friend, but his jealously kept making it harder for him to just pretend everything’s fine. 

  He couldn’t understand how his friend could mange to get a catch like that. What did Okuyasu have that he didn’t? Wait, he can’t be thinking of something like that, he has to be happy for his friend..

 “You should’ve seen her Josuke! She looked so cute when she came over! She was wearing that necklace I bought her along with a cute skirt, ah she looked amazing! I’m so lucky to have her” Okuyasu said letting out a dreamy sigh, as he continued to walk back home. The poor bastard was too in love to even notice Josuke’s burning rage. Josuke tried not to grit his teeth to what he was hearing, but ended up doing it anyway. Josuke let out a low chuckle, “Wow Okuyasu..that’s sounds great..wish I could’ve seen it too...” he mumbled. “What did you say Josuke?-” Okuyasu asked, looking back towards his pompadour-haired friend who was falling behind. “Nothing” Josuke said a little bit more louder and more clear this time.

 A few more minutes into the walk, Okuyasu kept babbling about you, Josuke was really about to lose his cool; but he didn’t want to hurt his friend. After all he’s supposed to be happy for him. “So as I was saying, I’m thinking of getting her a necklace with those initials-”

“Okuyasu, have you ever imagined [first] with somebody else?” Josuke asked in the friendliest manner possible. Okuyasu looked at Josuke with confusion, “No, why do you ask that?” Josuke shrugged and threw his school bag over his shoulder, “Just curious man, you know [first] is a really cute gal, don’t you wonder how she’d look with somebody else?” Okuyasu shook his head, “No I never thought about it that way..But now that you mention it, she is kind of better than me right?” Okuyasu asked scratching the back of his head lightly. “I don’t know man, well I gotta get home, see ya tomorrow then Okuyasu”

 “Right see ya tomorrow..”

 Unfortunately for Okuyasu, Josuke knew what he was doing.

-

 Today seemed perfect for you. You had woken up extra early just to prepare lunch for Okuyasu. You weren’t an expert on preparing Italian cuisine, but a few tips from Tonio helped you get the hang of it a bit. Either way, Okuyasu is going to eat it since he never brings lunch from home. Feeling satisfied with what you prepared for your boyfriend, you decide it’s time to finally head to school. 

 You didn’t live far from the school, so it was easy to get there in time. You sat near one of the open benches and sat the lunch you prepared earlier this morning. Usually you’d would start working on your homework before class began, but thankfully you’d done it last night; so now all you had to do for the remainder of your free period was wait for Okuyasu. 

  Minutes passed by and you finally saw Okuyasu walk up to campus. The wait was finally over, you ran up to Okuyasu and hugged him tight. “Good morning Oku! How’s Mansaku-san? Oh! Here’s your lunch for today, I stopped by Tonio’s to prepare that Italian dish you liked so much, I know it’s not good as his but-” Okuyasu cut you off, “[first] could we talk real quick?” he asked walking over to sit by a bench nearby. Confused, you follow after him and sit down beside him, “Alright, what is it you want to talk about?”. Okuyasu bit his lip slightly, although it looked as if he was holding back tears, “[first]-chan, you are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, but I’m not sure I deserve you as my girlfriend” he said rubbing the back of his neck. You chuckled nervously, “Oku, what are you saying? You know I love you so much-” Cutting you off again, Okuyasu wiped a forming tear from his eye, “I know you love me, and I love you too..but I’m not sure about us. You deserve someone better, I’m sorry [first]-chan, but I want to break up..” and with that Okuyasu got up from the bench and walked away. Leaving you alone with the Italian cuisine in your hands and a broken heart. 

-

  You ate spaghetti that you had eagerly prepared earlier this morning just for your precious..exboyfriend with tears running down your cheeks. Not even after hours of sitting in class thinking about your ex, you still didn’t understand why he broke up with you. You wanted to understand why he did it, but you still couldn’t. Seriously? After all you’ve done for him. You thought your relationship with the male would last, but you guess not. You wiped the tears from your face, the sweater you wore was damp from how much you were wiping your tears. You just couldn’t stop crying, the break up really hurt. Thank god no one else knew of this place in school, you couldn’t even imagine what you’d do if someone saw you like this.

  “[first]-chan is that you!?” you heard a familiar voice call out to you. When you turned around to see who it was, you were met with the pompadour-haired male running down the hill to meet you. “Josuke? What are you doing here?” you asked before frantically wiping the tears from your face. Josuke sat down next to you, “I didn’t see you go through your usual road to lunch, so I went to go look for you..” he said before looking at you more seriously, “[first]-chan, were you crying?” he asked with a concerned tone in his voice. You sniffled “I wasn’t crying, its just allergies..”

 “Bullshit! You’re eyes are red and puffy! Did someone hurt you, tell me their name and I swear I’ll make them pay!” you shook your head and managed to calm Josuke down. “No Josuke it’s not like that, it’s just..Okuyasu broke up with me that’s all..” you couldn’t manage to finish the rest of your sentence before you broke down crying. Josuke gave you a warm embrace, “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here..”  He felt your tears go through his yellow shirt as you kept on sobbing. Josuke let you go and held your face up, “Let it all out [first]-chan” When he saw that you kept sniffling, he sighed and gave you a quick kiss on the forehead, “Please don’t cry [first]-chan, it hurts me so much to see you like this, ah cmon show me that smile I love so much!”. Once Josuke let go of your face, you rubbed your nose and smiled a bit before softly whispering a ‘thanks’. In truth, you still didn’t feel better, but you appreciate that Josuke is trying to at least make you feel something else other than misery.  It was the thought that counted right?

  Meanwhile, Josuke couldn’t be happier. Sure, it hurt to see you cry, but the important thing was is that you were single. And now that he comforted you in a time of crisis, he was sure now that it wouldn’t be long that you would start to feel the same way. 

-

You still felt awful after your breakup with Okuyasu, its been hard especially when hanging out with your friend group. You and Okuyasu still speak to one another, but it’s just not the same. Speaking of which, you’ve been talking to Josuke a lot more lately. Ever since he had helped you get somewhat over your relationship with Okuyasu, he has been glued to your hip. He walks you to class, and always accompanies you for lunch (or anywhere really). You have to admit though, it was annoying at first having Josuke follow you around like a lost puppy, but you soon got used to it. After all, all Josuke wanted to do was help you. You thought it was sweet that Josuke wanted to help you, but that still didn’t explain why he was acting..let’s say odd. 

 Holding you by your hand as you walked by the halls, never inviting the others to hang out during the weekends (and here you thought Okuyasu was his best friend). It was almost as if he always had time for you.

 Oh but that’s just a silly thought. Maybe you were the weird one for thinking that Josuke was acting strange. He’s just being a good friend, that’s all. 

 Josuke is just a really good friend.

-

 The sun was shining bright in Morioh-cho, everything seemed so lively today. Everything from tourists popping out every now and then, to the squeals of teenage boys raging about the latest chapter in Pink Dark Boy. Today seemed like the perfect day for Josuke to finally get something off his chest. He had planned everything out for today. He had invited you over to Tonio’s to hang out for the day, and you had agreed. He had bought you some flowers to give you by the end of the day, he had even asked Rohan to draw something you might like (which the mangaka had reluctantly agreed to). 

 Josuke was prepared, he was oh so sure you were going to say yes. Of course you’re going to be his girlfriend! Why wouldn’t you be? He had hanged out you for the last couple of months, he had given you the right amount of attention you’d ever need. Everything was going according to plan.

.

.

.

“No, I’m sorry Josuke, but it’s a no”

 Josuke couldn't’ believe the words that had just left your lips. No? After all he had done for you, your answer is no? This couldn’t be happening. 

 Josuke shook his head, and quickly rubbed his eyes with his sleeve (trying to hide the fact that he was about to shed a tear). “But why? Am I not enough for you? Is there someone else you like?-” the pompadour haired male asked, trying his best to not let his voice crack. You smiled and shook your head while caressing his cheek with your hand, “Josuke..in all honesty I only see you as a friend, nothing more” you let go of his cheek and sit down on a small gray bench that was near. “Josuke, you are really one of the best friends I could ever ask for, but I just don’t see myself dating you, and besides..” you took and deep breath “Despite all that happened, I’m still in love with Oku, and I don't know maybe I'm just not ready for a relationship at the moment, y'know? But we can still be friends right?" you said, blushing lightly at the thought of your ex boyfriend. You'd expect that Josuke would've taken the rejection lightly, after all you were kind enough to still remain friends with the male.

   Josuke however, did not take the news lightly as you thought he would. Almost immediately, Josuke had grabbed you by your hands and pulled you close to him.  "Why do you still love Okuyasu after he broke your heart!? Why don't you love me, I've done nothing but give you adoration!". You looked at your friend in extreme fear, you didn't know what to do in this situation. "Josuke let me go you're hurting me! If you don't stop I'll-" you stuttered your words out. Josuke was just looking at you with a menacing glare, "Or what? You'll call Okuyasu? Stop thinking about him already! Just date me please, I loved you for so long! Longer than he has" You shook your head, you were starting to get fed up with his behavior, did he not understand what 'no' meant? "I said no Josuke! I don't want to date you! And if you think I will after this you're fucking stupid-!"

    Before you knew it Josuke had slapped you, but due to his strength, the slap didn't feel like a slap at all. "I'm sorry [first]-chan but now you see what happens when you don't just agree with me. You need to stop denying our love! You know you love me, so please stop denying our future together!". You couldn’t believe the words that were coming from Josuke’s mouth. Were these obsessed, disgusting words truly coming from Josuke? Sweet, and caring Josuke. While you were lost in your thoughts, Josuke took this opportunity to grab you and hold you close to his chest. “I’m sorry for hurting you [first]-chan, but what you said really hurt me so I-” he stopped for a second and leaned his head closer to yours just to take a small sniff of your hair. You just smelled so good, he had to do it.  You smelled like the coconut shampoo you had bought recently. And your perfume was different this time too. He knew he could overpower you at any time, so he took his chance and caressed your breasts softly with his hands. Along with this, he rubbed against your backside and groaned into your ear. He imagined it was him thrusting inside you. He imagines how warm you must feel. Or how cute you’d look when you were on the verge of climax.

  Him grinding against you and touching you was the last straw, you knew you had to get away from him. You turned around and looked at Josuke with both disgust and fear, and then you ran. You didn't want to be in his presence any longer. Here you thought that Josuke was a good friend trying to help you in a time you needed the most. But he’s just some asshole who needed to learn when a woman says no is no. How upsetting, you only wished that the incident didn’t exist.

  But for Josuke, those few moments felt almost heavenly. Grinding against you felt so good, he wanted more, but you just had to get away didn’t you? He watched you run off to who knows where. He knew he’d get you eventually, he just had to be patient. But his patience wouldn’t last long.

-

 For at least three weeks you have completely avoided Josuke and your friend group. You ignored all their calls, because the farther you were from Josuke, the safer you felt. You wanted to forget that day you hung out with Josuke. You wished you just never went to that damn Italian restaurant. Maybe then he would never have confessed his ‘love’ for you (that is more obsession than love in your book). Maybe then none of this would have happend. But alas here we are. 

 The telephone rang and you overheard your mother speak with what sounded like Yukako. “[first], dear it’s for you! It’s your friend Yukako!” your mother shouted. You held the phone and answered. “[first]-chan where have you been? Are you okay? We’ve been worried. You didn’t come across a stand user have you?” Yukako asked concerned. You lied, “No, I haven’t, trust me even if I did I wouldn’t notice. I’m fine I’ve just been..stressed, that’s all..” you lied, you didn’t want anyone to know about your situation with Josuke. “Well that’s good. So I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me and Koichi-kun today. We were thinking of going to the beach just for the weekend”. 

 At first you were hesitant, you didn’t want to see Josuke, but you did want to see your friends since you missed them. And if it was just Yukako, Koichi, and potentially Okuyasu, then you were down to go. You sighed and agreed. It wouldn’t hurt to see your friends once more, and to be honest you were excited.

-

 Yukako planned on picking you up and then walking to the beach, which you had agreed on. However, when she went to pick you up, she had brought some company. She brought Koichi (of course), Okuyasu, and to your horror, Josuke. Not once did Yukako mention that she was bringing Josuke along. Throughout the whole car ride you felt uncomfortable. You felt Josuke’s eyes watching your every move. It didn’t help that everyone else was having fun, while you were paranoid.

 Arriving at the beach, things got worse. Josuke was behind you at all times, and really if people weren’t around you would have yelled at him to leave you alone. Unfortunately you couldn’t do that. Not with Okuyasu and the rest of your friends here at least.

 You excused yourself to the bathroom just to get away from Josuke, and you could say that those three minutes you spent alone in the bathroom, were the best minutes you had in your life up until this point. You then heard the doorknob jiggle, so you walked over to it and unlocked it. “Yukako is that you? I’m almost done let me just-” you gasped at the sight, but before you could react, Josuke had covered your mouth and locked you both in the bathroom. 

 You whimpered and tried to scream but it was no use, Josuke was using Crazy Diamond to close your mouth. You heard Josuke chuckle, “You know its really cute when you think you can run away from your future boyfriend [first]-chan. Did you really think you could escape me?” he said. You felt as if he was mocking you. Things escalated from bad to worse as Josuke began to kiss your neck. Kisses went from heated bites on your neck, then sloppy, inexperienced kisses from Josuke. He had your breasts exposed, since he ripped your top immediately. You tried to remain emotionless throughout this whole session, but Josuke noticed, so he pinched your nipple to get a reaction. And a reaction he got as you released a muffled moan from your covered lips. “Please stop..” you whimpered.

 You heard Okuyasu shout from outside, “Hey [first]-chan! Are you good in there?”. You wanted to cry for help, but Josuke bent you over and slapped your ass, “Go ahead doll, tell him you’re okay..” he whispered. Crazy Diamond lowered it’s hand from your mouth to let you speak. Josuke raised your head up, “And remember, if you yell for help, I’ll open this door right now and show Okuyasu how much of a whore you look-”

 “I-i’m okay! Just a bit dizzy! I’ll be out soon!” you told him, you didn’t want Okuyasu to see you like this. “Okay! Just call me if you need anything” and with that you didn’t hear from the husky voiced male anymore, but you heard Josuke whisper in your ear,

  “That’s my good girl...”

[joontier]

Subliminal in Scrubs | V1; report x

pairings: dr. jeon jungkook x female reader

chapter rating: R-18 | genre: humor, romance, smut (voyeurism, masturbation), swearing

warnings: GET READY FOR SOME ACTIONNNNN 

word count: 1.8k

g/n: Send me your thoughts?

[taglist]:  @nottodayjjk @ditttiii @zeharilisharaban @btsbunny07​ @turquoiseandplaidinautumn @aamxxrii @codeinebelle​ @btsmakesmehappy

Subliminal in Scrubs (the records) |  navi. | m.list

Right after you put away your groceries, you take a quick shower and head to bed. Truly, there was nothing better than a refreshing shower after a long day - especially when you know you’re not going to be able to enjoy times like these anymore once you start working. Just then, you recall having to set your alarm early tomorrow because it was your first day, plus the other two wanted to meet up for breakfast before heading to work. 

As you lie on your bed, scrolling through your barely active social media accounts, you hear a soft thud coming from Ayoung’s apartment. Huh, she must be moving stuff - seems strange though that she’s doing it with a potential tenant present. You don’t pay much attention to it though until it happens again and suddenly a faint moan reaches your ears. Your eyes widen, thoughts of all sorts running through your head. You must be mistaken. You should be mistaken. 

You hear it again, and it gets repetitive until there’s a steady rhythm that has you certain about something that could be happening there. You’re really not one to meddle with people’s private businesses, especially ones of this particular kind. You push each incoming thought away, regardless if it is an innocent one or not. It proves otherwise though, with the sound coming in clear for a wall separating the two apartments. 

At the same time, you also wish the best for Ayoung and if this man is a moving-away gift in disguise as this one, well you’re incredibly happy for her. Who were you to take that happiness away from her? But as the man’s grunts become more audible and prominent, your immediate reaction to it is beyond you, and you’re almost involuntarily rubbing your thighs together at the sound. 

‘No’, you think to yourself, stopping your southward train of thoughts and its imminent course of action. Rubbing at your temple, you wonder how could you even allow such pompous thoughts cross your mind. 

Groaning, you lie on your stomach and mush your face against your pillow as if to block those indecent images threatening to corrupt your mind. It isn’t right to get off someone else’s steamy evening, more particularly, that of your friend’s, so you close your eyes and focus on trying to get some sleep. 

You can’t. 

Not when this man’s heavy breathing sounds just as hot as Ayoung finds him to be. 

Not when this man sounds just like a porn star. 

And especially not when this man’s vocals are so stimulating to the point that it feels like an invitation for you to join the fun. Or at least, take an imaginary part in it. 

Holy shit. 

Tapping your fingers furiously on the bed covers, you ask yourself if you have really reached this level of desperation? That your lack of human touch is causing you to question the very principle of civility? 

You shake your head as you reach for your earphones. Coincidentally, Spotify’s shuffle decides to land on a Jamie Foxx track. 

What is with the universe constantly trying to fuck you up? 

You tap on the next button quickly, turning the volume all the way up in the hopes of ridding yourself of unclean thoughts, that is, until you hear Satan himself let out a particularly loud grunt, one you can practically feel travel straight to your core. Jesus. 

The voice of your evil miniature self on your left shoulder whispers in your ear, “It isn’t often for you to get ahold of an opportunity like this. Go get some,” she says, holding your angelic self on a chokehold with her own halo. 

She had a point though, and you really could only imagine having more time for yourself starting tomorrow. Besides, it’s been a while since you truly ‘relaxed’. And to top all of that, with the apartment walls as thin as paper, you can literally feel your neighbor’s bed now moving in a steady rhythm. You’re even surprised you’ve managed to keep your self-control this long. Not long enough though, unfortunately. 

Now that you’ve come to think of it, this man must be on a different level entirely if Ayoung could let herself get...dicked down during a simple visit (and for the first time too!). Just imagining what he probably looks like is sending a light tingle down your spine. 

You sigh, ultimately giving into the temptation. There’s no turning back now. 

Slowly, you slide your shorts down your legs, giving yourself time to still contemplate...but, hesitation was never really your strong point (a trait of yours that had truly blossomed since your friendship with Chohee). So off go your underwear too. 

As quietly as possible, you scoot over to the wall, just enough to let your shoulder touch your old, boring, beige wallpaper. You feel your neighbor’s bed move with a little more intensity this time, and you trail your fingers downward to your cunt, which is surely wet by now with all your thinking. 

The man’s grunts are louder than Ayoung’s thankfully, leaving everything to your imagination. You start at a steady pace, wanting to test the waters. With the couple just a mere distance away from you, save the wall separating your apartments, you try to match your pace with the pair. 

Letting your digit circle your clit, you work yourself out to your orgasm - that is, until your climax won’t arrive and you figure just using your fingers won’t get the job done. Just as if you thought the sounds they were making weren’t enough to get you over the edge. It’s been a while since you had any ‘action’ and your rust ass won’t allow you to cum with just your fingers. 

Hurriedly, you draw out a small box from beneath your bed. In haste, you throw the cover across the small room, fishing for what used to be a very good friend of yours before: Lovecorner’s limited edition of Real Feel 7. Never too late to catch up with good ol’ friends. 

You turn on the device, hoping that there’s enough battery left to get you through the night. Closing your eyes, you circle the dildo around your nether lips, gathering all the slick there. A few more moments and you gradually insert the toy inside you, causing you to shiver in excitement. Gulping, you only push it halfway through at first, wanting to get used to the feeling again.. 

There’s a short pause from the other side of the wall, one you use to your advantage to keep up. When you feel them continue, you pick up your pace, both desperation and shame pumping you up so you could get this night over with as quickly as possible. 

Just as you had expected, you feel their breathing get heavier by the second, and your bed is practically shaking with...what you presume to be yours and their movements combined. 

For some reason beyond your understanding, you work yourself out on your trusty companion, taking in every whimper and grunt from the other side of the wall like it’s your own, like you’re the one fucking like there is no tomorrow. 

You’re getting closer to your high - a feeling almost foreign to you at this point, and with the last string of sheer  will, you push the toy further up to the hilt, stroking your g-spot so perfectly that your orgasm has got you quivering in bed for more than thirty seconds. 

Breathless as ever, you lie in bed, staring straight into the ceiling. 

What. Was. That. All. About. 

You press your thighs together, an unexpected reaction from the reality of tonight’s events suddenly dawning in on you. You did not just get yourself off from your neighbor's live porn. 

With no more movement coming from Ayoung’s apartment, you could only assume that their day has officially concluded as well. Sighing, you make your way to your bathroom, treading over your floor as lightly as you could with your sore legs. 

Ten minutes and a refreshing half bath later, you head back to bed, exhaustion causing you to fall asleep in seconds. 

The sound of your jarring iPhone alarm blares right in your ear, scaring the living hell out of you exactly 6:45 in the morning. You wake up in a fright, panting heavily as you scramble to turn off the horrible sound. 

Quickly, you get off of your bed, proceeding with your daily morning routine. You tick off breakfast at home today, having scheduled your morning meal with Jimin and Soomin as your first official day as employees of Woocheon Medical City. 

Making sure you’ve got everything in your duffel bag -  extra clothes, toiletries, and the rest of your essentials, you lock the door to your apartment, sealing it off with a slight jiggle to the knob to assure yourself. 

Ayoung’s door likewise creaks open, and you glance at it through your peripheral vision to see a man coming out. Your eyes widen - he stayed the night then. Hm. You’re unsure if you want to suspect him of something other than a one night stand, or it’s just this curious itch inside you that makes you want to check who’s responsible for last night’s...occurrences. 

Mustering all that courageous chi Chohee has hopefully transferred onto you, you linger a little bit by your doorway before facing the man. Thankfully, the stranger doesn’t make your job difficult for you and looks your way as well. 

No. 

This can’t be. 

Turns out, Mr. Stranger who was supposed to be your hot neighbor as Ayoung claims is no stranger at all. 

It had to be. 

You look away just as quickly as you looked at him. “________? Hey!  I didn’t know you lived next door!” Your lips form a thin line. Why does he make it sound like you’re already neighbors? 

“Jungkook,” you nod to answer his question.  “Good morning to you too.”

Your cheeks heat up with the range of emotions you’re feeling: anger - from him not even remembering Ayoung’s name; shame - for your actions last night; disappointment - there’s a possibility of you two becoming neighbors and you’d inevitably have to face him more often than not. 

“Where are you off to? Gym?” 

Why does he think you’re going to gym in a collared shirt, jeans, and flats? And more importantly, why are you two even having this conversation? 

The elevator doors open and your impromptu escape plan springs into action, and currently, just like your legs. “Work actually! And I’m going to be late, so bye for now!” You sprint towards the elevator, quickly pressing a button to close the doors. 

You let out a sigh of relief as the doors close, leaving Jungkook with a confused look on his face. 

© joontier 2021

[corpsedaydream]

not such a merry christmas

corpse husband x reader

-

hi hi so it’s 4:20am lmao i’m not kidding

so i know i said i wasn’t going to be on over christmas but christmas wrapped up late for me and i wasn’t ready to sleep and i just started writing and this is what came of it. i know that christmas isn’t always exactly a happy time for everyone bc family and holidays can be complicated sometimes. so if ur struggling or experiencing anything negative or just not rly enjoying christmas. this ones for u friend and i’m sending love ur way

word count: 2085

_______________________________

You had mixed feelings about this time of year.

The holidays.

On one hand, it meant you had some free time to enjoy some quality time with your nearest and dearest. And on another hand, it meant that you would be potentially finding yourself in situations where you would be spending time with family members who you would maybe rather not spend time with.

When you were young, Christmas always felt so magical. Now you were older, Christmas felt more like an anxiety inducing chore.

You’d talked to Corpse about your family a many of times, because for the most part, you really did love your family so much. You felt lucky to have been born into the family you were - again, for the most part. There was one particular sibling who you wouldn’t include in those feelings. Unfortunately, toxic people existed and extra unfortunately, sometimes those people were related to you. After four months of being with Corpse, he thought he had come to learn all of who were apart of your family. But then you were reminiscing on a childhood memory and when sharing it with your boyfriend, he heard a name he hadn’t heard before. When he questioned you on it, he noticed the immediate change in you. The smile left your face and you went timid and very quickly, you shifted the conversation topic. You were acting in a way he had never seen you be like before, usually you were so open and talkative and here was a brother you had never mentioned and definitely didn’t want to talk about.

He didn’t push it any further that day, figuring you would tell him when you were ready. That time came in November, on the 25th.

You remembered it well, Corpse was going through his emails when he asked you, “Baby, what’s the date?”

“November twenty-fi-” You cut yourself off.

“What?”

You were silent for a moment, you didn’t realise that Christmas had snuck up this quickly. It was only a month away.

“Baby?”

“Sorry- um,” you glanced to him, giving him a meek smile before continuing,  “it’s November 25th.”

He noticed that shift in you again. “Are you okay?”

And on that day, you opened up to him. Told him about the terrible memories that haunted days that should have and could have been really happy days had it not been for a bullying, negative family member. How now, you seemed to dread Christmas because of this fact.

“Why don’t you just not go?” Corpse had questioned you, he said it as if it was the most clear outcome, but it wasn’t like for you. It was so much easier for him to say that then it was for you to do.

“I couldn’t do that to the rest of my family.”

“Why? You can see them on any other day?”

“It’s Christmas, I couldn’t not go.”

“It’s just the same as any other day if you think about it.” As much as he had cared and listened to you opening up to him, it was hard for him to understand you on this. You grew up in vastly different family dynamics.

“Not to my family, it’s important.”

The two of you continued to go back and forth for a little bit before you realised the stubbornness you both shared wasn’t going to allow you to take in the other’s perspective.

In fact, the two of you didn’t speak about it again until two days before Christmas Eve. You were spending the day together because you were planning on leaving that night to stay at your parents house until boxing day. And as your leaving time was drawing closer and closer, it was visibly clear to Corpse how anxious you were feeling about it.

-

“(Y/N),” he had called for you attention and you looked to him, “I really don’t want you to go.”

A soft smile was offered to him. “I’m going.”

“But I can fucking see how this is affecting you. You’re dreading it, please don’t go.”

You sighed before answering him. “I have to go.”

“No you don’t.”

“I do.”

“Why?”

“Please, Corpse, I don’t want to go over this again. I’m already feeling nervous about it.”

“Then stay with me for Christmas, you won’t have to feel nervous about anything, we can just be here having our own good time.”

You knew he was just trying to be there for you, but it seemed this was not something the two of you could find a common ground on. “It’s not that simple.”

-

But if only it had been that simple. If only you had listened to Corpse. Because you wouldn’t be where you were right now. Sitting in your car with tears running down your face. It was 5:05pm in the afternoon on Christmas Day and you’d made a dash out the front door while everyone else sat down to eat dinner. You had tried your best to stay strong, to ignore your toxic brother but when someone was constantly saying and doing things to try to bring you down, you’d broken. You wished you could pull it together, so you could go back inside for the people you wanted to be with, but you truly couldn’t take it any longer. You would call and apologise to your Mother tomorrow, you felt bad for leaving her the most.

You shouldn’t have been driving in the state you were in, tears kept blurring your vision and your mind was so distracted you knew you really weren’t paying enough attention. But by some miracle, you had made it to where you wanted to be. And in one piece and it wasn’t your own place. You were parked out the front of Corpse’s place and how you just longed to be in his arms right now.

Heavy feet carried you to his front door and before you could get the chance to knock, Corpse had already swung the door open.

“Thought I saw your car pull up- oh, fuck,” His tone was happy at first, surprised with happiness that you were there until he took notice of the state you were in. Your foundation was streaked by the thick and fast tears that had fallen down your cheeks. Your mascara and eyeliner tracked black lines, too. Your nose had the makeup removed from it and it was displaying red due to the amount of times you’d rubbed at it. And oddly enough, a Santa Hat was still sitting atop your head. Corpse had never seen a more gloomy Christmas Hat appearance. “Baby, c’mere.”

He wouldn’t hesitate to stretch out his arms to pull you in close and you so gladly accepted. When you were resting against him, his arms would be holding you so tight and yours clutching at his hoodie he was wearing, he’d kick his foot out to shut the front door once the two of you were inside. Small sobs were already leaving your body, but feeling the familiar and protective grip of Corpse really just made you break more. You were safe here, you were safe with him, you could get out any emotion you needed to, and so you did.

Sobs wracked your entire frame, it was loud, vocal and physical crying. Corpse had seen you cry before, but never like this. It was hurting him to see you so hurt. He was so concerned for you, he didn’t have to ask if you were okay, your display was making it clear you weren’t. When he could start to feel your feet starting to give out and your weight became heavier against him, and he not only heard but also felt you choking on your own cries and starting to really struggle to breathe, he felt the need to do more.

Gently, he’d bring you down to the floor with him. He’d sit with his back against the wall and grab your thighs to have you sit in his lap, your legs straddling him. He would pull you in tight enough so your chest and torso was completely against his, the two of you couldn’t be brought any closer if you tried.

“I need you to try taking some deep breaths for me.” He’d tell you right in your ear, needing you to hear him over your violent cries. And so you did, but each one was uneven and would catch in your throat and make you cough.

His hand would be rubbing big, deliberate, heavy circles into your back with a force to make its presence known, a tactic he hoped would calm you. He was caught off guard to see you like this, but after opening up to him about your toxic sibling and how anxious you had been to be around him again, he wasn’t exactly shocked. He was so concerned for you but a part of him was also furious that someone had treated you in such a terrible way to put you in this state. He now wished he had worked harder in getting you to stay with him, if you were with him, you were safe, he wouldn’t let harm - especially like this - come to you.

“I’m here.” Corpse would assure you with a longing kiss to the side of your head, rocking you back and forth.

And eventually, while sitting there, being cradled in his arms, your cries would quieten, your sobs wouldn’t make you shake so violently and your breathing would return to a more regular state.

“Feel better?” He’d ask you once you reached that more stable point and you’d nod your head from its place against his neck before doing a much needed yawn. “You’re tired?”

“Exhausted.” You’d confirm.

“Should we go lay down?” He was still holding you so strongly and securely but being so gentle with how he spoke to you.

“Yeah, I want to get some painkillers first, though, my head hurts.”

“Want to take off the Santa hat?”

“No.”

“What, why?” Your answer surprised him.

“I’ve had it on all day, I’ll have really bad hat hair.” You admitted and Corpse laughed and had you been in a better mood, you would have joined in on the laughter. But it did lift your spirits to even just simply hear him laugh.

“I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”

“It will be.”

Corpse laughed softly again and shook his head slightly and when he felt you relax against him again, he brought up his hand to quickly pull the hat from your head.

“Hey!” You lifted your head then and he was relieved to see no more build up of tears in your eyes anymore.

“You’ll feel better without it on.” He argued your protest, smiling a small smile and you couldn’t help but to mirror it, which made Corpse elated to see.

“Okay, but don’t you dare look at my hat hair.” You told him and because he knew your eyes were on his, he intentionally lifted his eyes to your hair. “Corpse!” You called his name with a laugh and he was so happy to hear you laugh instead of cry. “Stop it.” You spoke through more giggles and your hands came up to land on your head over your hair until Corpse grabbed your wrists and moved your hands out of the way. “Hey!” Squirming your arms to get your wrists out of his grasp. Once you freed them, you’d place your hands over his eyes.

“Baby, let me look at your beautiful hat hair.”

“No!” You both would laugh then and this time when your boyfriend took hold of your hands to move them off of his eyes, it would be soft and he’d lift them to bring back his vision and bring your hands down a little to place kisses into the palms on each of your hands.

“You know you don’t have to hide anything from me, right?” On the surface, it could’ve sounded like Corpse was talking about just the hat hair, but on a deeper level, he meant this so wholeheartedly, and you understood.

So you’d nod. “I know. Thank you.”

And Corpse knew that once again, when you were ready you’d tell him about what took place on that Christmas Day, but for right now, he didn’t need to know. All he needed to know is that now you were okay and you were safe and you were with him.

“I love you, (Y/N).”

“I love you, too.”