#really wish I could do things and think for more than 5 mins before my brain gets stressed

[ajackofthecraftsandamasterofnone]

So I made 2 candles and a test scoopable. Didn't do nearly as much as I had planned/hoped :(

[chaesonghwas]

hello my darling wife could i ask for you to write me a ‘absentmindedly playing with their hair all the time’ for our beloved piarles?? 💕💕💕 (and you know… if you would be so inclined… to perhaps make it… a certain… rockstar au???… 👀👀👀)(i love you)

hello my darling love💖 i cannot believe this is the first piece of actual writing that exists within this au bc it feels like it's 5 novels long. i love u and thank u for making this up with me 💖💖 i hope u like my little drabbleeee

to everyone else: if u want to know more about the Deep Lore of the rockstar au and its five million spin offs, feel free to dm me and i'll send u a 20 min voice note

absentmindedly playing with their hair at all times

Charles really likes Pierre’s hair. Above everything, he really likes touching Pierre’s hair. He even liked touching it when it was burnt to a crisp after the Disaster with the boxed bleach they attempted to use in tenth grade, which is a feat in Charles’ favor.

This isn’t really a problem when Pierre is about to go on stage - his rockstar persona requires a little disheveledness and his bandmates don’t bat an eye at Charles’ gentle touches because they’re used to it. They’ve suffered it for long enough, even when Charles and Pierre weren’t together yet. One time way back then, at an after party, Yuki had tried to make up a drinking game with every time Charles touched Pierre’s hair - he’d ended up puking out of the window of their taxi. Nowadays, only the venue staff are occasionally surprised at seeing Charles, a successful singer in his own right, absentmindedly petting Pierre’s hair as if he was a dog.

It does become a problem however when Pierre is supposed to give a class at their mothers’ music school, because he can’t resist when his maman asks for a favor, and he needs to look somewhat… put together.

“Cha, c’mon,” Pierre says when Charles walks into the kitchen while he’s having breakfast and ruffles his hair wildly. “I’m supposed to give that presentation today.”

Charles hums happily and turns on the kettle to make his tea. “And? The kids think you’re cool because you’re a rockstar, not because your hair is tidy. Besides -” He looks at the clock they have mounted on the wall, massive and gold and gaudy. It was a joke gift that they got from Fernando after their brief stint in New York, so they’ve kept it up for the memories. “- Aren’t you already late?”

Pierre looks at the time and grimaces. “A little bit.”

“Well, your mother won’t be surprised,” he teases, a smirk appearing on his lips. Charles is wearing his most oversized pajamas and a hoodie with Pierre’s band’s name on it - he looks cozy enough that Pierre wishes he could ditch the class and stay here to cuddle, but he won’t. He promised his maman he’d helped out and he’s a man of his word.

“You’re mean,” he shoots back. Charles, in return, jumps up on the barstool next to Pierre and spins him around to kiss him. Pierre lets himself get lost in the kiss the way he always does, because kissing Charles is his favorite thing in the world, but when they part for air he realizes what Charles’ master plan really was: to run his fingers through Pierre’s hair and leave it even messier than before.

Charles grins and leans back in to drop a kiss on his cheek. “You just have nice hair, Pear.”

“Anyway -” Pierre rolls his eyes and Charles’ resounding giggle sends a flash of warmth through him. “Do you have to be at the studio today?”

“Yeah, I have to record that one rock-ier song and Lewis offered to help with instrumentals.”

“So you’ll be stealing my guitarist?”

Now it’s Charles’ turn to roll his eyes. “Won’t you be teaching children all day? You won’t mind.”

“Fair.” He takes the last sip of his coffee and shoots up. “Now I’ll be very late, so I should get going. See you tonight, baby.”

Charles kisses him sweetly and runs a hand through his hair one last time. “Good luck, calamar, I love you.”

“I love you too, even if you keep messing up my hair.”

[shenlis-spear]

THE LEGEND OF SHEN LI 与凤行, 2024

⇢ starring: zhao liying, lin gengxin

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. (I'm talking about The Legend of Shen Li)

Let me preface this by saying I'm biased. And it's been a million years since I tried to put my thoughts into writing so this is gonna be all over the place and long-winded. And probably wouldn't make any sense. So here it goes.

I really enjoyed The Legend of Shen Li. Do I love it? With all my charred heart. Do I think it's the best drama this year? It's still April. It's hard to say. Are Shen Li and Xing Zhi the best power couple? This shouldn't even be a debate.

Honestly, I didn't even plan to chase this drama while it's ongoing because I binge watching drama is what I enjoy best. However, I was bored. And The Legend of Shen Li's trailer looked interesting. And my heart still needs healing from the mess of an ending that is Princess Agents. I needed closure. So I started watching the drama, and boy oh boy did it drag me down one hell of a roller coaster ride of emotions every single night. (No, I'm not complaining.)

However, before I talk about the things that I really loved about the drama, I have some things to say about the stuff that kind of irked me. Because no drama is perfect (unless it's Nirvana in Fire).

So let me get started on the things that I feel like the drama could've done better.

Musical scoring - the OST's? Chef's kiss. However, they way they're putting music on the scenes are a hit and miss. Most of the time it just distracts me from the scene and I just get bored with the mv-ish scene. I wish cdramas especially custom ones would stop this. I don't need 5 mins of the leads staring at each other in all angles accompanied by a really nice song. I'm here to watch a drama. Although, I kinda did get used to it in the latter episodes (specifically ep35-38) because I definitely needed a minute or two to process the emotions.

The progression of the story - One thing. I'm confused. Not to the point that "I don't understand the plot confusing" but still confusing nonetheless. There was no consistency in the scenes and the dialogues. (Ex fishing village). There was no flow. I feel like someone messed up the storyboard and when they edited the scenes they were also confused. Or maybe this is the issue of the translation of the dialogue? I don't even know. Still, I definitely think this part could've been done better.

The internal monologues - sigh when I said the thing I love most in dramas are their dialogues I don't mean what's happening in The Legend of Shen Li. The characters just talk (or think?) too damn much I can't keep up. They're supposed to be the characters whom their actions should tell the story but the way they're narrating the whole plot to me is just so jarring. Am I watching a drama or listening to an audiobook? Sometimes I can't tell. I wish they'd tone it down but it just got worse with the later episodes.

The camera - this is just me being nitpicky but there are some random camera angles especially the spinning ones that probably is supposed to make the scene dramatic but all it did was make me wanna vomit.

This is not in any way, shape, or form hating on the drama because I genuinely enjoyed it. I've deluded myself into waiting for a Princess Agents S2 but I got a better deal and had Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin to reunite in a new project which is better in my opinion because Princess Agents is a hot mess. There was really no saving that one.

So moving on to the things I like! But like, where do I even start?

First of all, Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin. Chemistry so good, they had to be casted in another drama. Everything about them was just so perfect for the drama and the role. Could not ask for a more perfect casting than them. The 7 year wait was almost worth it.

The WOMEN! - so much room for improvement regarding the characters but I loved that the women were not treated as damsels who always needed saving. I have to say 5 1/2 braincells were working throughout the drama, 2 from Shen Li, 1 from You Lan, 1 from Jin Niang Zi and 1 from Shen Mu Yue (1/2 from Xing Zhi because he's too unbothered if it's not related to Shen Li).

Shen Li - might not be the best female character in cdramaland but I think she can hold her own place. She's stubborn, a bit reckless but she's loyal and righteous. She's a strong woman without being a stereotypical cold and ruthless strong woman. Shen Li is a strong woman at the same time also a mad woman in love. She does not have to be one or the other. The more I write this the more I'm falling in love with her character. You just don't find a character like her. She is Shen Li. A capable general. A strong leader. An empathetic comrade. A respectful student. A woman in love. She is not just one of them but all of them.

Lin Gengxin is pretty believable playing as an ancient god. He has that air around him that screams your highness. He played the lofty and aloof Xing Zhi to perfection.

And what can I even say about Zhao Liying? As always miss ma'am played Shen Li perfectly. Whimsical, stubborn, in love and devasted in love, you can feel all those emotions just watching her eyes.

It has angst but not too much that we as viewers would spend multiple episodes pulling out hair of frustration about the misunderstandings and accidental killings. (Not a shade to any specific drama but just to the xanxia genre in general). It has the perfect balance of angst, romance and comedy. You laugh, cry and giggle all in one episode. The comic relief scenes are naturally funny and doesn't feel forced. Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin's comedic timing are 👌.

The conflict was handled maturely and the confession was direct but still heart fluttering. Throughout the drama, they both got their heads perfectly placed on their shoulders.

The last episode! Let us talk about the last episode because when has a drama provided that kind of fan service just making one whole episode of shenanigans and fluff. After going through the angst, the reward that is the last episode is just too good and definitely worth all the tears.

Also, can we talk about Dong Jie's guest role? I know miss ma'am is good but when I tell you I cried for a minute because of her story arc? Just hands up and mic drop. So so good!

Now that all of these are out of my system, hopefully I can move on to the next obsession, whatever that may be. I'll still probably watch episode 39 on a daily basis though. It's just too enjoyable and it makes my day. Will probably, revisit this "review" in the future and update it because I'm aware that at this point it's not making a lot of sense.

RATING: 9/10 REWATCH VALUE: 10/10 definitely would watch again! ACTING: 10/10 CATEGORY: GUILTY PLEASURE

[1moreff-creator]

Happy Birthday Arei Naegishi!

I am so bad at remembering birthdays I almost missed this one. But it's still the third in my time zone, so I'm still gonna do it! Arei's our birthday girl, and the best character ever (<- her opinion) gets a birthday post too! Spoilers below the cut as always.

-Arei's backstory was revealed in CH 2 EP 5. She was bullied heavily by her sisters, Fuyuko and Natsuko, and we see an example of them doing so by forcefully cutting part of the right side of her hair. You can even see, to this day, she seems to have more hair on her left than on her right. She also mentions "If [she] had to go to the hospital once or twice, then it was nothing more than a minor inconvenience for [her sisters]." Which, uh, huh. That's... quite awful. The point is that Arei hated her life back then, and rightfully hated her sisters as well.

-Despite that, it seems Arei tried to be kind for the longest time. She's far from an innately cruel person, but eventually, she felt the only way out was turning the table on her sisters and starting to bully them. Her secret is "Blackmailing, rumors, lying, stealing, slander. You did everything you could to ruin your sisters' lives" and she confessed that she framed them for everything she could to get them unlawfully sent to reform school. This included planting things in their bags and lying to authorities, as well as driving her mother's car into a ditch and blaming it on her sister drunk driving. Okay so bullying is maybe an understatement but the idea stands.

-And it worked! She managed to get them sent to reform school, and her life improved drastically. Morally dubious queen shit, etc. However, this made her develop a harmful ideology that being kind is a weakness and will get you treated badly. Which is why she acts unnecesarily mean during the killing game.

-However, deep down, Arei is still nice. She doesn't really like doing the things she does, she just feels they're necessary for her to survive. Even right before her secret reveal, she was trying to justify her actions to herself, saying it's normal for people to be like her:

Arei (laughing nervously): You [David] do want to hear my secret after all. As I guessed, everyone has that burning curiosity inside of them to hear bad things about other people. It's not just me.

-Which is why Eden's existence led her to a breakdown. Because Eden is nice and kind and is exactly the type of person Arei thinks would be destroyed in """the real world.""" And yet, Eden keeps going, she's still nice. Eden is what Arei wishes she could have been, she sees her past Arei in current Eden. Which is why she bullied her originally; to "teach her how the world works." Because Arei doesn't want to do real harm, so it's better if she does it than someone else later down the line.

-That doesn't go well. She breaks down in front of David, who comforts her quite successfully... so much so that she seems to forget she wanted to talk to David about his secret oops.

-This is what leads to her apologizing to Eden and promising to be her friend and a better person... and then she died. Well, under the most common interpretation.

-Her birthday lands on November 3rd, just three days after Ace's. This coincides with:

+Fountain Pen Day (Min reference?)

+National Sandwich Day.

+National Homemaker Day.

+Jellyfish Day. (?)

+Give Someone a Dollar Day (??)

+Love Your Lawyer Day (???????)

Among other things. I still have no idea where these come from.

-The roman numeral assigned to her in the LGI MV is IV (4), a number associated with death because yeeeeaaaah... This is: "right now, why do you cry?"

Ignoring the intentional mistranslation, this is probably just referencing Arei's breakdown in the playground.

-Color Theory (I'm sorry but I'm done linking that post) assigns her... well, I believe dark blue, so I'm going with that. This is cry, big and the Mandarin laugh (哈哈哈) in the rain scene.

(The good thing about having done this fucking video is that I have all the damn screenshots you could ever ask for in relation to it)

"Cry" for the same reasoning as her numeral. "Big" in this context is "proud", which fits. And the laugh is long to explain, but basically it's the "applause crew" (Cheery David, Xander, Hu, Arei) overwhelming David. Watch that part of the video for a better explanation.

-Arei had an FTE with J, which she starts off by tickling her, later claiming she would, uhm.

Arei: I'll tie you down and force you to wear maid dresses and bunny suits until you change your mind! [About acting girly]

Arei what. This screenshot feels like it should be fake what do you mean it's canon. It's great, don't get me wrong, it just feels extremely outta pocket. Listen, I (aro/ace) don't feel qualified to unpack whatever the fuck is going on here, I'm just gonna leave this to the shippers.

-What I will unpack is the other stuff in the FTE related to Arei. Which is-

Arei: C'mere! I'll tickle you until you laugh so hard that your heart stops! Then I'll defibrillate you and tickle you some more! Tickle tickle tickle!

I said the OTHER stuff

-Mainly, that she feels like being the favorite child would be great (you can figure out why yourself I imagine), and she likes acting girly.

-We also learn she categorizes people based on how she likes to bully them. "Cool and suave wannabe boys" like J (as in, she acts like a boy who tries and fails to be cool and suave), "spineless pushovers" like Levi (she "uses as maids"), "adorably sweet people" like Eden (she """likes""" to make them cry), and the people who don't like her, which would presumably include her sisters, as she says she likes to destroy these people's lives. Foreshadowing!

Fun facts!

-She likes gossip and dislikes being ignored.

-Her subtitle quote in the cast page is "If I tell you a secret, will you promise to keep it?" Which is insane foreshadowing given the chapter she (allegedly) died in.

-Her secret quote is "Because that’s what friends do", which she said to Eden in the trial flashback. The quote associated to her in Mai's page is "She doesn’t like it when her friends fight." Friendship is evidently something of a running theme.

-She likes "cute" food (?), her favorite color is azure (because she's blue), her favorite ice cream flavor is birthday cake flavor (oh, fitting!). Her least favorite color is green because it "looks like puke", which... I wonder if it has something to do with being bullied by her sisters given the apparent hospital visits.

-Her name in Kanji is written 投石【なげ ・ いし】亜鈴【あ ・ れい】. Cool! Don't know what any of that means.

-Like most of the cast, her hair color is natural and she's American.

-She's ambidextrous! The only ambidextrous person in the cast, in fact, and the only one apart from Teruko to not be a righty.

Finally songs!

+Candle Queen by Ghost & Pals (literally her song, don't @ me)

+Those Who Carried On by Ghost & Pals (it's sorta a similar attitude to how she felt about Eden, do you see my vision?)

+SCAPEG∞AT by Ghost & Pals (I will make you all listen to Ghost & Pals!)

+Perfectly Sweet by Vane Lily

+Karma by CreepP

+Bad B!tch Magic by HalaCG + others

+i DO what i WANT by KIRA

+Aishite by Kikuo

+It's Not My Fault by DECO*27 (listen Milgram had to bleed into these eventually)

+Teen Idle by Marina and the Diamonds (again I think it works)

+Pyrite Girl by RIProducer / RIP (I think it works kinda at least)

And Happy Birthday! Hope you enjoy some birthday cake ice cream, girl! Go do it!

[min-pathologica]

sick of people slandering characters in the name of other characters sigh. putting specific characters under the cut so no one tries to argue w me on this :p drdt chapter 1 spoilers lol

yes min did wrong teruko, yes teruko’s reaction was fair, no that actually doesn’t make min wrong!! or vice versa!! this is a death game!! people are forced to do shitty things to preserve their life!! you do not have time to think maturely about a situation after killing someone in self-defense!! think honestly, this stranger you don’t like is standing over what looks like your friend’s corpse with a knife and there you are, fully visible and loudly yelping by the doorway, hands too full to make a smooth escape, seconds to think of something before he fucking slashes you. for me it’d almost be instinctual to throw the bucket, at least to free my hands and stun him. for me at least. maybe some of u would be able to run. but min did the former, and i don’t want to hear this “she should have ran” because she had like 5 seconds to think of something. like. you have 5 seconds to devise a solution to the riemann hypothesis, you’re not going to think of every answer and rank them by correctness. same goes for fight or flight. this part is literally just fight or flight lol. so next she whips out the knife pen and swipes open that bad boy light switch (wow girlboss been playing that yandere simulator). obviously the fab fashionable ultimate student knows about electrical safety and its inverse, so it came in handy when she needed this brit down on the ground. so he fucking died, and ‘oh shit i just killed this guy, what am i going to do oh god i’m going to die i should’ve ran’ no wait if i just frame teruko i’ll survive. guys if you don’t have an active death wish, enjoyment of pain, and reversed instincts, you are going to do dumb shit to avoid getting your ass killed. you are going to take the easiest route you can think of. even if it hurts everyone else. dying is really scary guys, when it’s up there in your face dancing on your nose and it could actually happen and is more than a what-if. i hear these edgy 12 year olds out there with “haha i’m so concerning knowing how to dispose of a body! i bet i could actually get away with murder!” you aren’t accounting for adrenaline deariepop. you aren’t accounting for any of the many circumstances that will inevitably come with killing someone. you will not get away with murder girlboss. so min carries on with the framing, she does a pretty good job for having like ten minutes. and at the trial the adrenaline has not gone away in fact it has come back full force with a helpful heaping of guilt. probably. y’know. cause she’s guilty. and when it comes out that she framed teruko, yes teruko’s reaction was fair, you shouldn’t be all happy skippy bible school after nearly getting killed. so anyway gay hug. doomed yuri. yes. you get it. then min fucking dies. teruko’s cranky and needs a nap. because who wouldn’t. and i say cranky with all my heart and love, because i too am cranky after writing this out

so tl:dr people get messy and make mistakes when in life-or-death situations. therefore i think neither min nor teruko should be slandered for their actions in chapter 1. cool

[icyberrydoesthat]

reasons why i think my parents pissed off a fairy before i was born (why i think im cursed)

cursed pieces of media always seem to find me

im not exaggerating when i say ive seen more than my fair share of fucked up stuff. it always seems to land on my cellular device or my piece of paper. ill be simply enjoying a show or consuming a book as one does and the most heinous thing will happen and ill be expected to just carry on. and now i do just that, i keep calm and carry on. more specifically theres one topic that seems to pop up a lot (tw!!) incest.....now now you may be thinking "what!? incest....id drop whatever it was and go reconnect with nature...weirdo" now now lets not jump to conclusions, 9/10 that movie/book/manga/whatever is actually really good (the other 1/10 lands you in therapy) and the incest or whatever never progresses the plot at all, but is a big enough plotwist to give me whiplash. and dont you worry, ive got an example. last year, i needed a book so i went to my schools library with a friend. about 10 mins of searching resulted in no book i felt inclined to read....until my friend gasps, a book in her hands..."Shadowhunters"?? i had never heard of it but apparently it was a big part of her childhood, something that soothed the gaping hole Twilight left...okay ill read i said. reading the first few chapters was great, i could practically smell an enemies to lovers and the big mystery of who and where mc's brother is was lingering in the back, my type of book i thought happily. little did i know....mc and ml were infact revealed to be siblings......i dropped my book. i had already thought it was weird that ml's adoptive brother had a crush on him but that gets crushed quick and now this...? now you may be thinking isnt it illegal or sum to promote incest..? and yes u are right, so you can imagine my deep sense of relief i felt when mc and ml were infact not related... because i didnt know how much more i could take of the ml yearning for his literal sister..(he was relentless...). but it doesnt stop there, for all you sickos out there, the author still managed to weasel some incest in. when the ml and mc are still believed to be siblings by them and everyone, another ml enters, this boy is perfect, maybe even a better fit for mc, girl is feeling it too. turns out this second guy is none other than.....her brother !! shocked you didnt it...(hes completely sick and knows the entire time....he wants his sister). but dont worry guys other than that, Shadowhunters is really good, character development? chefs kiss. i luv isabelle.

all my pens perish

im not exaggerating when i say i probably go through 6 pens a week, either they explode in my school blazer, completely new pens dry out in my pencil case, snap or most common cause, i lose them. i try pencil and the lead snaps in the middle so now matter how much i sharpen it, it will never be useful again. this is a cry for help, any stationary reccs??

i lose everything all the time

would you believe me if i said ive lost my keys a total of 5 times this year? well dont. because ive lost them 7 times and only 3 of the times have they been returned. im a regular at the keymaker.... how many of you can you say that??? i hope none, i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. i think this 'losing stuff' thing ties in rather nicely into my fish memory too, im pretty convinced ive got a rare amnesia that hasnt been discovered yet. its almost impossible, scratch that, it is impossible for me to remember everything for school the next day, ill always forget at least one thing. my friends will try referencing a supposedly funny/memorable thing that happened and ill just stare. theyll stare back and then do everything in their power to try to make me remember...nothing works.

my friends always have the same crushes as me

you may be thinking, well thats kind of normal for a group of girls that hang around eachother to have the same taste in people and i i thought so too, until it was such a regular thing i just stopped telling them about my crushes. i do have a story, start scene-its the end of a history lesson and im really happy, its been good lesson and i love history. im abit tired because its P5, the end of the day, for that reason, im lagging just a little, i leave my book usually at school because ive got two and my bag doesnt need any added weight . as im packing, a boy, a desk away from mine, walks over and takes my book to the cabinet, some thing he really did not need to do. and i don't know why but i guess im attracted to people being nice, even if it was just a decent human being doing just decent things... the next day, i realise i do want this boy, sadly. i had noticed him before, hes the kind of pretty that doesnt need to exist in a boy but if it does, he unfortunately becomes an object of envy. long lashes, blonde hair, droopy kinda eyes that make him look sleepy all the time. we had just never talked, seeing as we never had reason to. the next day, in a maths lesson, my friend says, "hey don't you think so and so is cute..." as shocked as i was, partly because this friend had been gushing about a different boy an hour ago and partly because it had happened again, i think i played the "really? maybe if i squint really hard he's meh" role really well....long story short, they're dating now....

now youve read my reasoning, there are more...but i just cant remember, i just know you see what i mean. my parents deffo pissed off some magical being and in return it cursed their firstborn daughter.

xoxo

A

ps: this is actually my second time re writing this because i accidentally deleted but the world just needed to know...ty for reading to the end <3

[all4ston3]

my perfect girl

summary; you’re having a bad body image day, and matt comforts you

cw!!; talk of bad body image, not liking yourself, matt praises you, kissing

774 words, 5 min read time

note!! ;; this might suck so beware,, but i guess i wrote this as a way to comfort myself. im battling with an ed at the moment and my body image has really deteriorated, and i’ve been wanting comfort for a long time, but i have nobody to provide such comfort, especially so intimately. so thank god for writing. if anyone else id struggling with body image, you’re perfect the way you are. i know its cheesy but we’re just human. ur body is so uniquely your own, and that’s what makes it perfect. sorry for getting all sappy but dealing with this type of shit sucks ASS and i hate that other people have to deal with it 2.

————————————————

you were upset with yourself. you were having one of many bad body images days, where you wish you could just change your body to how you see fit. it was late, around 10:24pm. matt was at the south park studios, and you didn’t expect him to come home until around 5 in the morning. he texted you a few times that day, informing you on how “it was just one of those days,” and how they couldn’t come up with any ideas.

you were imperfect. of course you knew everybody was imperfect, but you thought you had too many imperfections. especially compared to your sweet, compassionate, tall, handsome, your perfect boyfriend. you found yourself staring in the bathroom mirror after finishing your night time routine. the longer you stared, the bigger the lump in your throat got.

you didn’t like your body, not one bit. you let the feeling build up, trying to battle it in your head. you burst into tears eventually, still staring into the mirror while feeling your body with your hands, feeling all of those imperfections and thinking of all the things you could do to quickly fix it. how to make yourself more loveable, more desirable for your boyfriend, who you thought deserved better.

you decided to just go to sleep, not wanting to be awake to think about your body anymore. you got comfortable in bed, reaching over and turning the lamp off.

you couldn’t fall asleep, your brain plaguing you with negative thoughts. you cried, constantly wiping your tears and sniffling. your bedroom door opened after 20 minutes and you froze. matt came home early and you hadn’t noticed. you hadn’t heard the front door of your apartment shut. you didn’t want matt to see you crying, quickly wiping your tears off of your face. matt never saw you cry before, you didn’t want this to be the first encounter either.

you felt the side of your bed dip as matt sat down, and a hand caress your side as he sighed, surely exhausted from working. you unintentionally sniffled again, and the hand froze. “y/n? baby? are you okay?” the sweet voice of your boyfriend broke the silence. his voice was a sigh of relief for you, the soft, low voice that you love. you sighed and rolled over to face him, your eyes still puffy from crying.

“oh, my poor baby, what’s the matter?” he was quick to pull you up and to hug you, gently rocking you back and forth. matt knew something was off the moment he entered the bedroom. he felt the negativity radiate off your body and it hurt him. he wanted nothing more than his woman to be happy. “matt, i’m not good enough for you.. you deserve someone prettier than me. you deserve somebody with a perfect body, someone that is perfect in every way. that’s what you deserve.” you spoke into his chest, new tears prickling at your eyes. you loved being held by him, you loved his smell, how secure you felt in his arms.

he immediately pulled you back by your shoulders, the light from the hallway illuminating his face. he looked genuinely offended before scoffing and shaking his head. he was hurt his pretty girl was feeling that way. matt thought you were the most gorgeous, sexy, and lovely girl. you were his charming girl. matt squeezed your shoulders, “what on earth are you talking about, y/n? are you kidding me? when i tell you that i love you, i mean i love every single part of you. from your mind, to your pretty face, your body.. every part. you’re fucking perfect for me. you were born to be with me. it’s okay to be insecure, i am too, but to think you don’t deserve me? that’s fucking outrageous, baby.. your body turns me on so much, to me you have a perfect fucking body.”

you stared at matt. you couldn’t believe this handsome man was saying those things about you. you were absolutely flattered, grabbing his arms so you felt closer to him. he was still rambling on about his love for your beauty, and how he couldn’t imagine a person more perfect than you.

you felt loved. you felt secure. you felt pretty, even. you leaned forward and kissed matt, quick to wrap your arms around his neck. matt grabbed your waist, gently rubbing your sides before hugging you. matt didn’t let you pull away from the kiss for a few minutes. he wanted you to know just how much you meant to him. how pretty you are to him. that you’re perfect.

[stormyoceans]

Monica, you and me both. i seriously hope they don't do anything to mess up what we've going on now. because it's been a perfect streak so far and i really badly don't want it ruined. but i don't really trust thai bls that much. the dad showing up completely uncalled for like that was a little bit of turn off for me in that matter. (cause i dint think that was a very important storyline, barely relevant at all to what we've seen of Day's story so far) and i hope that doesn't take more than 5 mins to get resolved. forced separation my beloathed. i also worry night and day will not be resolved as satisfactorily as i want it to (tho i hear we can trust p'aof on that) as there are only 4 more eps left and it's probably not gonna happen in ep 3. andd. as for one last thing, i also wish and hope desperately we get a bit of a reversal in their dynamic. with day being more of a crutch to mohk than the other way around. you know just to complete the picture on both sides. anyways, manifesting nothing but the best. -Skate

MORE RAMBLINGS AND SPECULATIONS AND PERSONAL WORRIES AND FILMING SPOILERS ABOUT LAST TWILIGHT UNDER THE CUT (just to be safe because i really don't wanna ruin people's excitement with my negativity. im also afraid my nomnom card might get revoked ;;;;;;;;)

i personally didn’t mind day’s dad showing up at the end of episode 8 because he has been mentioned since episode 2 and there’s also been a lot of emphasis on day’s mom being a single mom who raised him and night by herself, so i did expect day’s dad to play a role in the story at some point. i do agree that his introduction was rather abrupt tho, like day bringing him up out of nowhere while talking to mork and implying that songkhla was his hometown was a bit too on the nose imho, i think it could have been done a little bit better, but i’ve forgiven shows for much worse. once again my main fear with day’s dad is that he was introduced just to explain why he and ramon separated hence kind of foreshadowing mork and day also eventually separating, which as we previously established i would HATE

and you know it's not like im against separation on principle, i do think it could work for morkday if, let's say, mork was offered a job he's really passionate about in another town and was upfront about it with day and day told him 'you can't be my caretaker forever, you are my boyfriend, i want us to be equal, take this opportunity and make your dreams come true', because i do also agree with you on the fact that we've always seen mork supporting day and i need to have day supporting mork as well to balance things out a little bit more (not to always bring up vice versa but one of the main reasons i love puentalay is the mutuality and equality of their relationship). if this were to happen, they could still talk to each other on the phone and have mork go visit day over the weekend, they would still have a relationship based on love and understanding which is what their entire journey has been about. if this were to happen, i would become separation nr. 1 fan. i would be ready to print every single word of doubts i've ever expressed about the last 3 episodes and literally EAT THEM. the problem is that even if we're talking about p'aof, i can't fully trust him with not going down the misunderstanding route and not making them broke the promise they made of always holding each other's hands. i know that in bad buddy he made everyone think patpran broke up only to say SIKE, but unfortunately that's not enough to reassure me

the only hope i have is this picture

which to me does look like a 'mork is torn about leaving for his dream job but day is giving him his full support', but unfortunately I HAVE TRUST ISSUES OKAY. I'VE BEEN HURT BY SHOWS BEFORE. and i can't really explain this shot of mork crying in the trailer unless it's about day breaking up with him

SO. TRUST ISSUES

day and night's reconciliation is honestly the thing im less worried about because i do fully believe it's gonna happen, maybe not right away because if night was indeed somehow responsible for day losing his sight i think day is gonna need more time, but i think we're gonna see them finally have a proper talk with each other and by the end of it day is gonna leave an opening for their relationship to heal and go back to what it used to be

BUT YEAH IM JUST GONNA BE PRAYING FOR THE BEST THAT'S ALL WE CAN DO

[buried-stars]

👀👀 rubbing my gay little hands together... 001 + bstars, 002 + shinjiham, 003 + franziska :3 ily

oh god oh fuck (under cut for length lol)

bstars

Favourite character: i love basically everyone but juyoung min i can never forget you

Least Favourite character: FUCK SEUNGYEON WE ALL HATE SEUNGYEON

5 Favourite ships (canon or non-canon): gyu-hyuk/do-yoon, inha/juyoung. that's it. unless you want to see me be really insane.

Character I find most attractive: juyoung

Character I would marry: ...see above

Character I would be best friends with: either inha or do-yoon

A random thought: hyesung definitely would wear heelies

An unpopular opinion: rash verdict is not a happy ending <3

My canon OTP: dont make me choose. gyuyoon & minnow are both basically canon

Non-canon OTP: seil/tae-yeon

Most badass character: inha and juyoung <3 they can girlboss without risking getting too close to the sun

Pairing I am not a fan of: any m/f pair or seil/hyesung

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): actually i don't think any of the characters apply here. like seungyeon sucks but she's supposed to

Favourite friendship: gyu & juyoung or do-yoon & inha. bestie squad

shinjiham

when or if I started shipping it: honestly it wasn't until i played p3p about a year ago where i decided to romance shinji on a whim and it changed my brain chemistry

my thoughts: when you're both doomed by the narrative but you're also desperate for human connection... choosing to love someone you know is on borrowed time... fighting for the sake of someone you may never see again... augh. augh. my heart.

What makes me happy about them: i like to think about them cooking together and minako sneaking scraps to koromaru when she thinks shinji's not looking

What makes me sad about them: what DOESN'T make me sad about them. how many ships do you get where they can BOTH die in the others arms.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: look i don't CARE that kotone is her canon name she'll always be minako arisato to me

Things I look for in fanfic: ....i'll read anything once! that's the life i live!

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: i'm not into any other shinji pairs but minako "patron saint of bisexuality" could easily go for aigis, yukari, akihiko, mitsuru, saori, rio...

My happily ever after for them: *smiles through my tears* very funny

franziska

How I feel about this character: ive adored her forever and i think she's really funny. her "little brother" is 7 years older than her. that's hysterical. when you're both traumatized but one of you hasn't figured that out yet

All the people I ship romantically with this character: it's literally just adrian

My non-romantic OTP for this character: i mean von karma siblings forever and ever they make me bawl. otherwise i like to think of her as being trucy's doting aunt and it confuses the hell out of phoenix bc he's never seen her be nice before

My unpopular opinion about this character: idk aside from being a frnmy hater i dont think there's anything i outright dislike about most interpretations of her...? i mean i think she doesnt go quite as hard on the fool/whip thing as an adult but idk

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I WISH THEY'D LET HER OUT OF THE BASEMENT I MISS HER SO BAD also she deserved more specific dev. she was robbed.

My OTP: fradrian FOREVER <3

My OT3: n/a

[tuulikannel]

New year is a time when people make a lot of resolutions. I guess it makes sense, as the beginning of the year also sort of symbolizes a new start in your life? Honestly, though, I’ve never quite understood the practice, and you can have a new start any time you want.

One common subject of these resolutions, after the holidays filled with all kinds of delicacies, is exercising and losing weight. I’ve recently been talking about this with a couple of friends who both fret about their weight and how hard it seems to be to do something about it, even though (so they think) it shouldn’t be. Anyway, the internet’s full of all kinds of motivational stories about how simple it is practically to become a new person. I remember one, from years ago, of a young woman who grew tired of being called such a weakling and started doing daily push-ups to gain strength. And sure, her development was quite something, in the end she was able to do that trick where you clap your hands together when you push yourself up.

But the thing is, the starting point… on day 1, she did proper push-ups. That was kind of crushing to me. She’s someone people consider weak, and she can do push-ups? I could barely, somehow, do some kind of half-assed knee push-ups. If I took the proper push-up position, I just stayed there a moment on shaky arms and then collapsed down. So if she was weak, what was I? >_> What was supposed to be motivational, was for me anything but.

In autumn 2020, I met with one friend and complained to her how now that I’m just sitting at home I’m getting in even worse shape than before. She recced me these youtube exercises, a certain channel, and… well, I thought it’s definitely not my thing, but I decided to give it a try. The first video I was doing was this 20 min home walking thing, quite simple, but boy was I sweating when I was done with it. But to my surprise, I kept on doing it, 5 or 6 times a week. Quarantine times were perfect for that, really, as I was home all the time. 20 minutes, that’s not much, and with a youtube video I could do it at any point during the day I wanted.

Relatively soon my weight started going down a bit. Then it stopped and I in fact gained a bit weight back (I guess muscle weighs more than fat?). I didn’t mind, though, as my waistline was still a bit smaller, and to be honest, I was doing this to get in better shape, losing weight was just a side benefit. Now, I’ve been doing these exercises for over two years. (Yeah, I’m still myself stunned about this!) Not anymore as often as in the beginning, but I try to do them at least 3 times a week. I’ve also moved to heavier exercises, and it’s been really fun to realize that I can do things I wasn’t able to do before.

I can do push-ups. I can finally for the first time in my life do fucking push-ups! Ok, so not that many, and no tricks, but still! (I didn’t start working on upper body before I’d exercised at least for a year, simply because being so weak in my upper body made those exercises extra hard, and so I hated doing them. ^^;;) Anyway, my waistline is now 10 cm thinner than when I started, and that 20 min video I was doing in the beginning is now light(er) exercise I might do when watching something else.

Also, I haven’t really changed my other habits at all. I love chocolate (and everything unhealthy) too much for that. ^^ Just eating some chips as I write this…

Anyway, I guess the point here is that if you wish to lose weight/get into better shape, find something that suits you and stick to it. Of course, if you want faster and bigger effects, I bet stuff like changing your diet helps too, but honestly, you don’t have to give up the good stuff in your life for this. (It’s all about priorities. Chocolate over sixpack for me!)

(Maybe I should link that video I started with, too. It’s here.)

[floofyfluff]

4:18 am summary of me taking a holiday/snow day shift for extra pay. since i have officially finished with my day job as of 1 pm. is that:

cw death and just like. literally every day i desire to kill the concept of god more

i am a moron. how did i forget where i came from in 6 months. it's so cold and its december which means that everyone is dying. 🎶 its the most wonderful time of the year 🎶 the hap-happiest season of all!!!🎶

god does not exist and he does not love you and i wish you would stop giving him credit for work the rest of us are doing. while blaming us for everything else. i GET that you're devastated i DO but hm i guess actually its my fault i didn't see your grandma's atherosclerosis 3 years ago. thanks. yeah its my fault shes dead. i would really love for a medic to show up but unfortunately they're all busy with the people who might be salvageable right now. a doctor??? LMA fucking O that's not going to help. no amount of epi would help here. i'm breaking ribs as a performance rn. my partner has been here for 2 weeks i've never met her before she's visibly developing a panic disorder. she could be more helpful but also it doesn't matter so whatever. i'm just sitting here until med control can call official tod. which they should have called an appropriate crew here to do before we got here. no shockable rhythm here this is exclusively to make you feel better. which i cannot stress enough i would be very willing to do bc i have done worse things for 2 min cycles but you're telling me that it's my fault this happened while im sobbing so honestly. lay off. or die i guess. whichever comes first.

god does not exist he does not love you and if he does exist he in fact thinks its funny that you die while trying to stay warm under your bed when its -8F. he thinks its hilarious. man's got a long record of opening up the earth and swallowing well-meaning families to teach you a lesson about how much life sucks and how you should fear him just in case he can make it suck even more. it's not my fault of your fault that energy costs as much as it does and your mom thought she'd be fine with some extra blankets!!!! she wasn't fine and its not our fault but it sure feels like it doesnt it!!!

god does not exist and does not love you and you are now the third fucking family who has told me that it's my fault your grandpa is dead in 6 hours and i don't care anymore. a medic is gonna show up here in 10 min and give him an i/o and he's still gonna be dead. I am once again hoping that your prayers get him where he wants to go but don't fucking blame me if you think that they don't. take that shit up with god.

god does not exist and he doesn't love you but drunk ass extended family trying to get gma up the stairs and causing So many more problems than they are solving DOES exist. and they are doing 10x more for everyone than thoughts and prayers. i do not want this soda that i now have but thank you. this soda i do not want is also the reason im still alive

wrote this at 4:20 hahah blaze it and its now 5:03 and i have soft cats in my bed so i guess i'll live. also if god existed which for the sake of the world and all that is decent i hope he does not. i'm going to physically fight god

[capcomgrl]

been so upset recently

arguing w boyfriend

fatter than ever

Just having a hard time finding any moment of relaxation or peace. There is no relief. Got fucked over at my job and now i’m struggling to pay any bills. Always on edge. Anxiety medication makes me drowsy into the next day. Can’t sleep if me and bf are arguing. We argued because i got slightly triggered in the car, I’m sensitive to gore and he was pretending to cut my thigh with his fingers and staple me. Ive asked him not too before. I had an interview earlier so i was a little high strung. I got upset & asked him to just say a quick sorry, bc he got super quiet. And thats how we stayed for 30 mins. He told me he gets frustrated and doesnt like feeling like he has to always apologize for something. That it happens too much. He still didnt say sorry, only when I asked twice. And then I comforted him instead of him comforting me. Then I had to go to work. I’m currently a server and that has been another hell in itself. I’m just super nervous and anxious but thats how ive been all the time recently. Theres never something to not be freaking out about. If im happy I cant be because im fucking fat and ugly. Why has this always been my life man. I didn’t ask for these things to happen that led me here and made me have these vicious emotions and thoughts. I think about dying a lot. I had a psychologist tell me he thinks I’m schizotypal. Fuck man I’m just weird but not in the cute way. Not in the still lovable way. Different but interesting. i'm awful. i have a hard time talking to anyone. and its getting worse as I get older. i just want it to stop. trying to fix these problems i have just made it easier to gain all my weight back. i got even fatter when i went inpatient for my overeating. its been two years and I have only lost 10 lbs. i just dont wanna be fat anymore i hate using food for comfort or food to cope for me. i hate always having to have some kind of noise playing because I cant just be alone and do one thing silently. i cant read i cant draw. i feel my fat cushioning everywhere around me every time i move. my bf is stressed bc he is having to pay for all of the bills. ive never been job insecure but of course when i finally move out of my moldy health hazard house my job starts giving me 5 hrs a week. i couldnt believe it. i cant just be happy. im always causing a problem or starting something or just not happy enough. i cant even be alone with myself. i'll k myself I hate myself. its not getting better for me its only getting worse. i just want to be able to function the way most people can. he will be home soon and he'll notice im not as energetic or happy. he'll want to talk about it but not really. he'll want me to make him feel better about me feeling upset. i cant do it right now. whats wrong with me. i cant shower but my problems with cleanliness are getting worse. i cant get in my bed or wear my pajamas if im not showered even if its only been a day. i do my best it never takes more than 10 minutes but it feels awful. to look at me and to remember what that fuck ass counselor told me about my showering. that it only makes sense why i avoid the shower. why did she have to make that connection for me. i think about it every time i shower. i feel crazy. i feel like it will never go away. it gets harder to deal with. i will start school soon and i am excited for that. and i have a very sweet cat. and my partner and i do have our good moments. i just wish I could make everything fit together better.

[dogstarblues]

accomplishments 3/26/24, no particular order

im gonna preface this by saying i overdid it today

baked fish for roommate

made lemonade

made blackcurrant cinnamon rolls

made saag and rice

made an egg sandwich

made mango milk

drove 30 min to and 30 min back to an emissions testing kiosk (this was the most i've driven in like 2 years)

walked to the local latino market (23 min)

walked my dog (26 min)

did the dishes

did the dishes again

met with my dad for a short while (stood for 20 min)

cleaned pots

wiped down the counter

did a load of laundry

did three rounds of tarot reading because i simply wasn't getting the fucking message

still have not showered but i will. my legs hurt. my dad was the final straw for my legs i think and making saag and rice and lemonade for dinner was the pushing past the final straw. i don't look forward to tomorrow but. i hope its okay? who knows with my new condition the way it is. (been on a new pill for the fibromyalgia and CFS since last wednesday and it's like. working. really well. every day i've been on it has been just a bit better than my best fibro days pre-CFS, i'm just massively out of shape [not like as in fatness, though i am fat, i mean i'm physically weak; i used to be a powerlifter for christ's sake]. i have to re-train my muscles to get stamina back.)

but i fucking overdid it today and i wish i hadn't. i was partially testing myself to see what i could do, partially trying to figure out what my body needs or wants, partially reveling in the fact that i CAN do more things again. but i have to take it slow. i've BEEN taking it slow until today. but today was just a lot, emotionally, earlier in the day. i was terrified on my drive to the kiosk, the roads were winding with sharp turns and steep curves. i'm used to driving to the grocery store and back. or the latino market. or the asian market. all of which are So Fucking Close. like a 4-6 min drive. at most i've pulled my shit together to take my dog to the vet which is a 10 min drive with traffic. 30 min was a leap. 30 min twice was an even bigger leap.

i've figured something out tho: my body misses activity. i've had days before (like today) with decision paralysis like today feeling like everything i do is wrong and that (i realized today) means that i need exercise. i need to move my body somehow. i've looked up a 13 min yoga routine to do and i'm going to restrict walks to a leisurely and short walk. because i still have to walk my dog 3-5 days out of the week (roommate has her on his days off). and those walks take 20-35 minutes these days. anyway. gotta take it slower.

[mochi-prosperity]

The Mochi Prosperity Challenge!

(I am playing loose with the rules and I dont keep score, I am just having fun playing the sims again :) Screenshots are poopy, will be better next update^-^ )

Round 1- House 1 "Davis"

(of course my computer crashed so I don't have a lot of screenshots ;-; bare with me and my gross in game snapshots. it will get better! )

-Hello Emmy!-

"Huh...? Who is there... do the birds talk here?"

-Hahaha nope! Just me :) I am Mochi! I am ..your caretaker in a sense.-

"Oh...Hello Mochi...are you like a god or something?"

-To you maybe... but in reality I am just here to make sure things go smoothly ...well as smoothly as they can. Just do your thing and forget I am here!-

"Okey-dokey!"

Emmy Davis is a popular sim who has the goal of being top of the military career. Thank goodness for that cuz I don't think I have enough patience to make many friends for her with the small neighborhood we have started with.

She is one of the 5 Starter families, and my only solo flyer! And she's a cutie to boot... trust me.

-Whatcha doing?-

"Smelling the flowers! I really enjoy the aroma they give off."

-Wonderful! How about the house, does it fit your fancy?-

"It will do for now."

-....-

"Okay finally, got the job I have been striving for since getting here!"

-Oh? Have you been without a job?-

"Oh, heavens no! I just have been doing a silly old do nothing job I found day one. Shouldn't you know this though?"

-...look the game kept crashing I barely remember anything.-

"Game?"

-never mind that, congrats on the job! Onto the top of the military track now for you it seems. Any other big plans?-

"Skate rink!"

-I'm sorry?-

-Oh you were being serious... Why does it look like its flooded?-

"I have no clue! But it saved my fall at least, that could have hurt a lot more than it did."

(I have no idea why it was like this but I thought it was funny it was a pool/rink mix haha.)

"They have arcade games here too!"

-Are you winning?-

"Nah. But at least I'm not waist deep in water anymore."

-Fair-

-Oh you're home again! Who is this?-

"This is Moonshine! He just showed up and was so playful. I wish I could keep him."

-Maybe not the time quite yet. But I'll approve a pet for you soon.-

"Thanks Mochi!"

-Getting some skills up before the end of the season?-

"Yeah, I needed logic and fitness for my job, but chess is a little boring to be playing solo."

-Yeah I agree. Don't worry maybe next round we can find a friend or two for you.-

"Can Moonshine be one of those friends?!"

-...Maybe. Well its time to end the week!-

"Oh, bye Mochi!"

-Goodbye, Emmy!-

(Sadly a lot of my screenshots went missing after my computer died, but thankfully this round was not very eventful, most eventful thing was that she burnt the toaster pastries. I'll get a better pic of my girl soon. I feel bad she had to sadly be downgraded to in-game snapshots. The quality is atrocious. I streamed this first part of the round on my twitch but it crashed around 30 mins in hahaha)

[webslingingslasher]

hey bestie! quick question cause I'm a bit paranoid lol. I had my earlobes pierced yesterday and overall I think they're doing fine but my ears still slightly hurt and when I was cleaning them yesterday one of them started bleeding 😳 not too much but ya know. how much longer is it supposed to hurt before I get worried? you're like my big sister slash piercing guru mwah love ya

hello friend! congrats on the new piercings, im sure they look sick as hell!! you can take some tylenol or ibuprofen for any discomfort but they shouldn’t hurt more than a few days. they’ll be tender/take longer to heal if you’re sleeping on them. (i know, i know, easier said than done. when i got my cartilage done i slept a neck pillow so my ear could rest in the hole)

blood is okay, it might have been dried blood. obv if it’s bleeding profusely, turns pussy or feels super hot you may have an issue.

i don’t know if you are, and it’s tempting because you want a good clean, but do not twist your piercings when cleaning. if you feel like you’re not doing a good enough job or crust is building on the earring backings (again- normal while healing) you can do a sea salt soak. my go to is saline solution from walgreens, you don’t really wanna use soap. it comes w a plastic cap i’d fill up and soak my ear for 5-10 min, dispose and repeat on the other. (if you can’t get the gunk out it’s okay to turn/twist lightly to get it clean the best you can but you don’t want too much movement. you just put a foreign object in your body, your body is doing its best to heal around it, if you keep interrupting the healing process will slow dramatically.)

last point: no touchy! i know they’re new and fun and cute but do not touch them unless you’re cleaning them. within the next week or two they’ll get really itchy, it’s a good thing, it means they’re healing!

i hope you enjoy them!!! they’re a fun lil accessory, i wish i could show you guys mine!!

[shaelashaela]

Before You Were Born, ch. 10

[cw] anxiety attack, dissociation [reading time] 5 mins.

Day yielded to evening, and I lit the soft yellow lamps throughout my home. I had fresh tea and a book in hand, and I settled into my chair by the window, ready to while a way the hours before bed. Rayna departed long ago as she had to prepare a few things before the shop opened the next day. I already missed her. I also missed the rain. The chirps of crickets from outside provided a suitably soothing soundtrack, though.

I agitated my tea with my left hand, idly swishing the liquid around in the mug. With my other hand, I flipped through my book, skimming over various applications of alchemical lunafaction. Before long, my eyelids grew heavy. I pondered whether I might go to bed early that night.

A light rapping at my door snapped me back to full alert. My home was ground to far too many unexpected visitors lately. I waited for a brief moment and hoped whomever it was would go away, but then another, slightly more insistent tap sounded against the door. No such luck.

A heavy breath escaped my lips, and I set my tea and book down. I crossed the room swiftly and opened the door. My heart nearly leapt out of my ribcage! Ixion stood in the hallway, leaning against the doorjamb. He wore his human guise again, but I still found his grin unnerving, even without the sharpened teeth.

“Good evening, Sylvie.” His tongue slithered like a snake when he spoke.

I stood tall and held my ground, mustering what courage I had. I could feel my body shaking a little bit, but I tried my best to hide it. “Ixion,” I replied curtly.

He motioned into my home with his hand. “May I come in?”

I knew exactly what he was up to. There was no way I would invite him through the wards I’d put in place. “No.”

His wicked smile spread further across his face. “Clever. Don’t think yourself safe behind such petty magic. But, to business, then… I’ve come with your task. I hope I needn’t remind you of the price if you disobey.”

I heard another door open nearby, and my neighbour strode out into the hallway. He pointed an accusing finger at Ixion. “Hey, pal, you better not be botherin’ her.”

The dark elf growled and started to turn toward James. I interjected, though. “Wait!”—I turned to the other man—“James, let me handle this. Go back inside.”

James and I locked eyes for a brief moment, and I believe I was able to project enough sternness in my face that he understood I meant what I said. I really wished that the walls in this building were thicker. After a few breaths, he nodded a reluctant agreement and retreated into his home.

“Apologies. He’s harmless, I promise.”

Ixion scowled at me, decidedly less amused than before. “I’ve had my time wasted enough. Your father has something I want. Are you familiar with a fist-sized garnet stone, polished into an egg shape?”

Of course I was. He spoke of the Stone of Anra, a family heirloom and powerful alchemical artifact. My father used it a few times when teaching me. I nodded my understanding cautiously.

“Good. You will convince him to bring it here. I will come for it later.”

“Couldn’t I just go get it myself?”

He lunged forward, nearly crossing the door’s threshold and forcing me to jump back in surprise. “Do as I say, exactly as I say. You know what will happen if you don’t. Am I clear?”

My whole body shook, and with some difficulty, I forced my head to move up and down in an affirmative motion.

“Good. I recommend you don’t hesitate, either. I’m not known for my patience.”

He wasted no further time with me and walked briskly toward the end of the hall. As I shut the door, I felt a great gladness that he was gone, but no relief. So, the Stone of Anra was his prize. It was no surprise that he craved more power, but for what? I supposed Ixion could also be an accomplished alchemist and might have some unsavoury use for it.

But, he let slip a crucial detail: if he needed me to retrieve it for him, it meant that his power did have limits. Papa had a healthy dose of paranoia, and his home and especially his workshop were covered in layers upon layers of wards and glyphs built up over decades. Ixion might be strong enough to break through my spells, but he obviously needed me to bring the stone outside of my father’s more powerful defences for him.

Maybe if I told my father, teamed up with him, the two of us could do something about the dark elf together? I quickly shook that notion from my brain, though. More likely I’d just get one or both of us hurt trying something bold and stupid. No, the safest thing to do was to give him the damn rock and figure out what to do about it afterwards. Maybe after he had what he wanted he would leave me alone long enough to formulate a response.

My hand was still unsteady as I pulled my mobile from my pocket. I tapped the screen a few times and hoped the shakiness wouldn’t come across in my voice.

After but a second, a deep and familiar voice greeted me. “Hello? Sylvie?”

He didn’t even have to say much. Just the sound of his voice made me feel like a little girl again and calmed me a bit. “Hi, Papa.”

“Your mother was quite upset this afternoon… quite upset. Did you two have another argument?”

I covered my face in shame, even though he couldn’t see me. “Yes. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll apologize to her once we’ve both had some time to cool off.”

While he could be critical of my craft, he never once scolded me for expressing myself. “Well, I imagine it was likely nothing too serious. I am certain she will come around soon. How are you faring, Evening Star?”

I smiled to myself. He always preferred to use my birth appellation rather than the more childish “Shaela-Shaela” that the rest of the family used as a nickname. It sounded more formal and a bit stuffy, but it was his way.

“I’m fine, outside of what happened earlier. I was actually hoping I could ask a favour, Papa.”

“Of course.”

“Anra’s Stone, do you mind bringing it by sometime soon? I have a new elixir I’m tuning, and I think the stone could help.”

There was a long pause on the other end of the call. Please buy it. Please buy it. Please buy it.

Uncertainty filled his voice, but I detected no hint of suspicion. “The stone? I do not think it wise to remove it from my own workshop.”

“I know. I’d drop by, but I have everything already setup here, and it’d take hours for me to redo it in your space. I’d really love to show you what I’ve been working on.”

“Well… if it will help. I can come by the evening after tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Papa.”

We exchanged a few more pleasantries, and then I hung up. I shook even more than before, and my palms sweated. I hated lying to my father, and I would likely never forgive myself for it. Slowly, carefully, letter-by-letter, I typed a message to Rayna to explain things. She replied with a question asking what she could do, but I didn’t have the coherence to reply. I collapsed on the floor and tried to catch my breath. It felt like a ten ton weight pressed down on my chest.

I heard my mobile buzz. It was probably Rayna. My mind was distant, though. I was far too busy experiencing a thousand and one ways everything could go to hell in vivid, gory detail. My consciousness floated in a different direction, desperately trying to avoid it all.

I will never call it “recovering,” but I did awake in the middle of the night, still lying on the floor in my living room. I could breathe a little bit better, but visions of the horrible consequences I imagined still lingered. With what little energy I had left, I threw myself into my bed still fully clothed.

The following two days were miserable. I had nothing but my own my mind to listen to while I awaited my father’s arrival. What was I to do? I couldn’t even find the motivation to concoct the elixir I mentioned, so I had no idea what I would say when he actually arrived. How would I explain that I made it up? Could I lie to him even more to cover up the cover-up?

I also avoided Rayna. I worried that if we talked, she would convince me to do something rash, and I would just tie her up in whatever horrible fate awaited me. No, I had to do this on my own. If I could just convince my father to leave me the stone, all would be well. I could hand it over to Ixion and be done with it. Papa would be angry, of course, but at least no one would get hurt… or worse.

For the first time in many moons, I spent two whole days without reading, or walking, or doing anything really. I tried to eat, but food tasted like ash in my mouth. So I waited, and I dreaded.