#really truly seriously very much hope for elaboration on it
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amethyst-halo · 7 months ago
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i really really super hope floyd’s ears are an indication of going gray and not just a design choice and i really really super hope it’s a plot point bc he’s the first one since branch that we’ve seen with it and it would be soooo interesting
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aayakashii · 6 months ago
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It seems I haven't quite had my fill of cuteness. So I humbly ask for part 4 of the plushie series with Luca, Ritsu, Zenji, Tohma, and Rui.
It's ok if you don't want to also
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The most requested thing!! hehehe |ू´꒳`) I'm really happy you guys like the plushie headcanons, and thanks to the anon who originally requested it a few months ago too!!
Part 1, part 2, part 3
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How Tokyo Debunker boys react after receiving a cute little plushie from MC – Luca, Ritsu, Zenji, Tohma, Rui, Ed and Lyca
Lucas Errant – husky plushie
Extremely happy that he is receiving such a thoughtful gift from you!
He never truly allowed himself to play with toys because of his studies, and then came the guilt of losing his brother… Letting himself relax like that barely ever crossed his mind.
So he doesn't really know what to do???
He just perches the cute plushie on his desk and politely greets it whenever he leaves his room and gets back.
He's a bit confused, but he's got the spirit!
Since the husky is always on his desk, it kinda becomes his study buddy really quick too.
Luca ends up reciting his notes to it and reading his books out loud, so it helps him get even better grades (if that's even possible).
He notices this and IMMEDIATELY goes to thank you.
He is 100% sure that you had this crazy elaborate plan to make him get better grades, which is why you made the plushie for him.
Now he’s asking you to maybe make one for Kaito so he stops going to so many remedial classes…
Because he’s denser than a (quickly researches what is the densest rock in the world) peridotite
And doesn’t realize that you gave him a handmade gift because you LIKE him........
He’ll have to ask someone for help after you get upset with him because of this.
Because the husky plushie definitely doesn’t know either and, for some reason, Kaito just refuses to help him!
Cut him some slack… he’s just dense. Like a peridotite.
Shinjo Ritsu – otter plushie
"For me?"
"Yes."
"I believe you are aware that a gift, in the law of property, is the voluntary and immediate transfer of property from one person to another and in order for the it to be legally effective it has to have donative intent, the delivery of the gift to the donee, and the acceptance of the gift."
“Okay...?”
“Therefore I accept the gift.”
“Cool…”
Congratulations, you have just given Ritsu his first official associate.
Or at least this is what he says to himself in his mind.
He was trained to become a lawyer since he was a little kid, so he never thought about playing with toys that much (and his father didn’t push him to do so as well).
But he gotta admit, having a handmade plushie, something his partner (as in business partner! Don’t get him wrong!) made for him exclusively does bring a feeling of joy he never quite felt before.
If anyone so much as THINK about touching his gift, he will be ready to recite the entire constitution, and every single law they broke, AND declare how many years they’ll get in prison just for touching his little otter friend.
He takes things such as private property very seriously after all.
He won’t take the plushie everywhere with him (what about safety?), but he does keep it right next to him in bed when he’s reviewing all the records he made throughout the day.
For a second, he wonders if he could sneak a camera into a plushie and give it to you, but oh no, that would be an invasion of privacy!
Or at least only until he finds a loophole in the law.
Kotodama Zenji – koi plushie
"My dear!!! Oh you truly are the most lovely flower to ever grace this earth! If my heart could still beat, it would be racing for you!!"
You managed to steal a little beaded bracelet artifact, something weak (or at least you hope so), and tied it on the plushie's tail.
And your theory was successful! Zenji could actually touch it, just like he could carry his doll due to its anomalous properties.
To say he’s absolutely SMITTEN with the plushie is an understatement.
He loves anything artistic and knowing that you spent your precious time creating that cute plushie for him makes him so so happy!
WILL carry it everywhere and write ballads about the koi. And poems. And he will read every single myth involving kois and post them on his youtube channel as well (please like and subscribe... PLEASE...)
Haku has the time of his life laughing at Zenji, because now he carries his doll, his biwa AND his plushie everywhere.
If you keep giving him gifts, he might actually need a whole cart to carry everything around him.
The little koi and the doll become his most loyal fans, and his company during nighttime, when everyone’s asleep.
If you see a koi plushie outside your window, don’t freak out. It’s just Zenji watching you sleep again.
He has the habit of calling the doll "his brother" and now he’s gonna call the koi plushie "his dearest".
The two people he cares about the most, right there in his arms: Jiro and you.
Ishibashi Tohma – orca plushie
"Oh? I wonder what made you think I am fit for receiving such an adorable little gift."
Tohma… does not know what to do with the gift you just gave him.
Don’t get him wrong, he appreciates it! Truly. He is mesmerized by the fact that you made a whole orca plushie with your own hands.
But he also doesn’t see how someone as intimidating as him deserves such an adorable gift.
Maybe all those months serving someone else with little appreciation made him forget how it feels to be pampered…
He places the plushie in the vault, right on his desk, and it becomes his companion when he needs to go through paperwork.
Tohma tried giving it a hug once and he got so damn sleepy RIGHT AWAY that now he just pats its head whenever he needs to take a break.
That little thing is dangerous, making him feel so comfortable… He can’t sleep, he’s a busy man! A little headpat to acknowledge the plushie will have to suffice.
However, he still hasn’t tried taking the plushie to his room yet.
He’s quite worried that his sleep will just be filled with dreams about you.
And oh dear... it'd be way too tough to wake up from something pleasant like that.
Mizuki Rui – black bunny plushie
You torture him, being so cute!
A plushie? For him? A black bunny you made with your own hands?!
He wishes he could squish you to death, but that could become quite literal if he actually touched you.
So instead, he squeezes the hell out of the bunny.
Absolutely loves the gift and takes it EVERYWHERE with him.
It basically becomes his bar’s little mascot.
He kisses the bunny’s cheeks every single time he lays his eyes on it. There’s a good morning kiss, a good afternoon kiss, a good evening kiss, plenty of see you later kisses… (he just wishes he was actually kissing you).
Rui will definitely get little accessories for the bunny and maybe even get matching ones for you.
He will also name it some variation of your name and refer to it during conversations as if he was talking about an actual living being.
Lyca and Ed are forced to acknowledge the bunny as their new dorm mate, but won’t let Rui get the bunny its own room because that would be too much!!
Oh, Rui will also buy a bottle of your perfume to spray on the plushie so when he hugs it, it smells like you
What? No, of course that’s not creepy at all, silly! He just loves everything about you, including your perfume!
Edward Hart – ram plushie
Oya, look at what his lovely human brought to him. And you made it yourself? Wonderful.
He has watched plenty of DIY tutorials on youtube, but was always too lazy to go through with them.
Now that he knows you’re skillful with your hands, though? Expect plenty of requests. Maybe do a little bat for him next, what do you think?
The little ram probably becomes the only clean thing in his room, despite Ed holding it all the time when he’s bedrotting.
(That’s because Rui cleans it frequently. He doesn’t want you to think your gift went underappreciated)
And when I say constantly, I mean CONSTANTLY.
Something cute and comfy to hold while he rewatches that 10 hour conspiracy iceberg video for the 5th time? That is exactly what he needs.
He will try to take pictures of the ram watching videos with him for you, but it will be terribly unfocused.
You appreciate the thought despite that!
You don’t appreciate the message he sent though...
"Hello My Dear 😘❗️I Just Had To Show You This 📷❗️Look At How My New Little Friend 🐏 Is Watching Youtube 💻 With Me 🦇❤️ He Just Absolutely Loves ❤️ To Watch ✨️ Conspiracy Videos✨️ With Me 🦇 I Tried Inviting Lyca🐺 Too But He Won’t Reply To My Messages ✉️🚫😢 I Wonder Why 🤔❓️ Please Come Visit Me Anytime 👋🏰🥀 We’d Love To Watch Things With You👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨😘💋"
Lyca Colt – wolf plushie
“What's this?”
“It's a gift for you. I made it.”
“What do I do with it?”
“Um... nothing. You can cuddle it when you sleep, I guess?”
“Hmpft! I'm not a child, I don't need to cuddle things!!”
Don't worry, he thanks you properly after Rui scolds him and tells him to express gratitude when he gets gifts.
He is a little bit rough with it at first, since he never had a toy before, but he quickly gets extremely possessive of it and starts treating the plushie with a lot more care.
He WILL growl and bite if someone tries to take it from him.
Lyca kind of acts like a big brother to his wolf plushie, taking him to his favorite spots and explaining the things he learned to it (he needs to practice after all!)
The plushie becomes a nice reminder of you. Whenever he thinks about doing something he shouldn’t, he looks at the wolf’s beady eyes and thinks of yours as well.
Who would’ve thought this would be such a sure-fire way to make him behave a bit more.
Rui, however, is absolutely exasperated because he just knows that plushie will be another thing that will desperately need washing SOON and Lyca just won’t let him clean it.
Lyca eventually wraps his plushie in his stinky baby blanket (much to Rui’s despair) and cuddles with it to sleep every night.
His dreams become all about you, so don’t worry in case he has a little bit of a hard time looking at you the next day (and a little blush on his cheeks). It’s a little hard to explain!
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omagpies · 27 days ago
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No way! Another person who has spent way too much time on apex! Who's your main? I'm guessing BH but I don't want to assume. How did you feel about the BH/Fuse engagement? Do you have any heirlooms? Sorry, not very many people play apex on here.
Also, do you have any apex art? If not that's totally cool but I would love to see it!
you have activated my trap card!! many drawings ahead
my main is indeed bloodhound. i also whip out fuse, mirage, and to a lesser degree octane, but mostly i'm a one trick bloodhound. they were what got me into the game in the first place back in season 7 when i heard their 'i'm afraid of heights :(' voicelines (a cool hunter nonbinary character voiced by none other than allegra clark? sign me tf up), and even though i am Very Bad At Shooting and don't actually like battle royale-type games apex stayed my brainrot for over two years. the brainrot is definitely over now and these days i play it as a social thing, but that's how i acquired 2k+ hours lmao
also they released a magpiehound recolor called 'frosthaven' that i gleefully snatched up and have been wearing it ever since (ft the magpie holospray and the magpie mural on their latest map. i think they are catering to me specifically)
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i am. truly Not Good. i am here just to clown and gossip and make poor life choices. my impulse control is too non existent for someone whose best skill is shooting a perfect outline around the enemy and not a bullet within
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i had SO MUCH bloodhound art over on twitter good god. out of the following two drawings, the first one was bought out by allegra to sell as signed prints, and the second one was reposted onto apex's IG account, and in general this was the one time i genuinely had a blast on twitter interacting with all the devs and vas before everything went downhill both in respawn and on twitter lol. also i have to say, s10 and the whole White Raven thing fed me so. so so. SO well. the existential angst was incredible.
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i participated in a couple of zines/projects as well! i have many thoughts about their canonical(!) respawn system and the resulting unimportance of death. adds to the existentialism and to bloodhound's religious themes
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overall it was a very, very prolific period for me, and there are many pieces i'm still very happy with to this day
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(^ the second to last one is a reference to the fusehound confession scene, and the last one is related to one of my fics, wooden bones (forest deity!bh au))
shipping!!! miragehound was my initial and most prominent ship, and i will never forgive respawn for not expanding on their backstory (their mothers worked together COME ON. they might have met as children! COME ON!!!!! i have a whole series exactly about the What Could Have Been)
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their backstory with boone also fascinated me for a very long time, and my friends and i spent many a yap session dissing the dude until we stopped and thought, hey, what if he really was Just Some Guy who made mistakes, what if he wasn't evil, and that's what pulled me right back into the brainrot when i was already starting to slowly recover from it. boone now has a very elaborate backstory and lore and i hope to god respawn never puts him in the games the way we did because a) they don't GET him and b) i don't trust the fandom with him lmao. i'm super down to blabber about him though just say the word. he's everything to me, my big, sad, hairy man
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we also invented in-game stuff for him. he had abilities and skins etc etc (the top row of skins is his titan pilot backstory + talos era + 'default' in-game skin)
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this diptych still lives rent-free in my head, i think i really won with this one
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where miragehound and boonehound flourished, mirageboonehound wasn't far behind! i wrote how it came to be and all. also Рorn. so much Рorn. seriously.
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also this was the first time i redrew the twelfth night as my otp. the second one was mouthwashing
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fusehound was an absolute delight to watch blossom, especially since we know it wasn't planned and just Kind Of Happened. i felt that lmao. characters be like that. i'm a bit sadge they shelved the whole talos plotline in favor of romance but at this point i gave up on expecting good lore from apex, especially after they fired herr frozenfroh. i didn't draw fusehound nearly as much, BUT i do have one fic that was basically a dream i had lol
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honorable mention goes to revhound!! this is the ship that went really hard with artists and writers. deeply painful, deeply compelling, absolutely incredible. mindblowing angst and just as mindblowing рorn, together or separately. best shit. the one ship i didn't write for because compared to the fandom's behemoths i never felt like i'd be able to contribute anything meaningful lol, i just got to sit back and enjoy
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bonus: as one of my friends eloquently put it, bh and their bhitches :)
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i was going to put in more pictures but hit the 30 images limit!!! my twitter is now abandoned but if you scroll down just a little you can see all the stuff that didn't make it into this post.
apex and bloodhound also REALLY, REALLY got me writing. i came into the fandom already relatively warmed up after a 170k fire emblem fic, but i ended up writing 200k+ for miragehound, mirageboonehound, and fusehound combined. i was unstoppable. it was insane. i've linked some already but you can peep them all here. bloodhound's pov was especially fun to write for, purple prose my beloved
also you asked me about heirlooms! i'm a lucky motherfucker who managed to get one set of shards from the 500th box and another from just the random 0.4% chance. so i have bloodhound's and fuse's as they are my most played characters :)
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wileys-russo · 9 months ago
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After seeing Alexia dancing bc I literally did not know that ever existed! What are some hobbies of Fresa (btv or ftv) we know she wasn’t into soccer but what are things she was/is truly passionate about? Can’t wait to see more of your writing regardless of what it is! 🤍
Fresa took up tennis when she was younger in place of football, like early high school years. She saw how much passion and pleasure alexia gained from football and definitely had the potential to go far in tennis but lacked the discipline. The real reason she took it up was to hopefully get her sisters to come to her matches but with their own lives and schedules it was hard and as Fresa grew up she lost the love for tennis and quit.
I’ve said it before but Fresa takes her skin care and her pampering very seriously. She loves face masks, massages, mani/pedi’s, her elaborate ten step skin care routine, and her spa days with Eli are sacred.
Fresa is quite the talented drawer and took some realism classes to help expand that but it’s nothing more than a hobby to her. She really did the classes in hopes Alba would go with her but she was always too busy or would bail or no show last minute so Fresa got embarrassed and stopped going.
Fresa pretends not to know how to cook because she loves when her sisters or her mami cook for her. But really when she’s sitting in the kitchen pretending not to help and just yapping, she’s paying close attention and has gotten almost all of eli’s “secret” family recipes down pat in her head and can happily cook them for herself when left to her own devices.
Fresa ofc is also passionate about her work! She works in a blood testing/taking clinic but that’s what ignited her passion for looking after others and learning more about the body and how it heals/what it needs. So this lead to her wanting to study nursing!
Though she’s your classic attitude filled sassy younger sibling Fresa is really a sensative gal at heart. Her love languages are in how she cares so passionately about those close to her and nothing makes her happier than looking after them and doing little things that bring them joy.
Despite being an early riser Fresa is a brunch girlie to her core and part of what hurt so much about the rift between her and her sisters, Alba specifically, was the sunday brunch ritual dying off where again they were no shows and Fresa had to stop going to her favourite cafe because they always asked where Alba was and she was embarrassed
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avatarmerida · 11 months ago
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It’s been awhile since I’ve had something to share but this is the piece I wanted to have ready for Valentine’s Day but better late than never, right? No plot really, just cringe fluff 💛💚
———
Hunter had a very specific way of managing stress. If there was something he needed or wanted to do that was important and he found it was overwhelming him, he would simply plan a series of slightly smaller but equally important tasks ahead of it to make the original task seem less intimidating.
It worked wonders in the coven. When he tried to work up the nerve to ask his uncle something important, he prolonged it by setting goals for himself to run a certain distance in a certain amount of time or memorize portions of the handbook or to make a certain amount of arrests first. The lists grew longer and more elaborate and while he did end up doing some things that previously caused him a great deal of anxiety, he still found a way to put off the thing he truly needed to do.
And despite the progress he had made, old habits die hard.
So now, here he was in the middle of Grom supposed to be enjoying the fruits of his labor but all he could do was scream internally. He had done the impossible, he had asked Willow to Grom and yet he couldn’t enjoy it because there was more (or at least there was supposed to be). Normally, this would be the impossible task he aspired to accomplish but he had one more outlandish feat to reach for and he was having trouble finding a solid, logical reason to keep putting it off.
“Gus,” Hunter whispered nervously under the guise of coming up to his table to request a song . “Are we totally sure that Willow knows we’re here together like on a date?”
Gus’ smile faded as he lowered his glasses to give his friend a look. “Seriously dude?” said Gus with a familiar sigh, having been there at every step of Hunter’s doubt and anxiety regarding his feelings for their friend. “I was there: she said yes. She said yes and hugged you and like a billion flowers bloomed in her hair. She was obviously so beyond happy that you asked her, why are you so worried?”
“Because of how I said it,” groaned Hunter. “I said ‘do you want to go to Grom’ I didn’t say ‘with me’ or ‘as a date.’ I mean, of course she wanted to go!”
“Hunter, seriously?”
“Yes, seriously!”
With no impending doom or unrealistic and unhealthy expectations set for him, Hunter’s mind had more time and room to focus on more pleasant things. His feelings for Willow had been progressing slowly in the background but now that he was embracing what it meant to be a normal teenager, his feelings rose to the surface as soon as they could. Now there was no reason to feel guilty about getting distracted by the sound of her laughter or practicing jokes in the mirror before bed each night to try and impress her. No, guilt was not a feeling he associated with Willow but the feelings he did associate with the plant witch were unique and powerful and confusing.
Hunter’s friends had assured him this was a totally normal way to feel about a crush, but Hunter didn’t have much experience with normalcy and he highly doubted that he’d ever get used to the way his lungs stopped working when she stood near him. So when he had decided to do something about these feelings, he approached it with the extreme attention detail he had always approached everything.
The only difference was that unlike a vast majority of his other interests, Willow was real.
“Well usually when you do a gromposal it means you want to go as more than friends ,” said Gus. “Otherwise you say ‘hey since we don’t have dates let’s all go to Grom as friends.’ You usually don’t spend all night arranging her favorite flowers to spell ‘GROM?’ on the flyer derby field for someone you like as just a friend.”
Hunter blushed, rather pleased with how his efforts had turned out. He had aimed for something both grand and personal in hopes it would translate to romantic. It had been a unique challenge to get Willow to look down as she was so focused on winning their usual end of practice match (loser paid for the eyescream) but when she finally did, her expression was priceless.
They had flown back up so she could take a selfie with it in the background and he had made it his scroll’s wallpaper because he simply could not stop looking at it.
“But we had already agreed to go as a group so how can I be sure that she knows I asked her specifically because I like her as more than just a friend if we’re doing group things all night because I don’t know what to do on a date.”
“You can just be direct, dude,” said Gus. “Tell her you like her and you’re having a good time and stuff.”
Hunter had no problem doing that, he had done it plenty of times. Whenever Willow planned something or suggested they do something like that, he always made sure to tell her what a nice time he had. It was just proper manners. But complementing her in a way that voiced his constant thoughts was another thing. He could tell her the cafe she suggested was a great spot any day of the week, or that her plants were looking strong, but he wanted to tell her his admiration for her far surpassed anything she merely did , it encompassed everything she was . It was confusing because it seemed like something beyond mere words, he wanted to express his gratitude every time she messaged him or said his name or walked into a room.
For some reason he thought Grom would give him the courage to do it.
“It’s just that… there’s… more …”
“More?” Gus repeated, intrigued. “More how ?”
“It’s just… well Luz might have mentioned- and I’m not saying this is the only reason I asked Willow to come with me- that sometimes at Grom people who are more than friends have certain ways to… express that.”
Gus narrowed his eyes and offered Hunter a knowing smirk. “You wanna kiss her, don’t you?”
Hunter wrung his hands as his breathing became shallow, his eyes darting over to Willow laughing with Luz and Amity and Hunter felt a familiar lightheadedness that the event’s ambiance had been amplifying all night.
“Yes,” he said breathlessly, knowing he couldn’t and truthfully did not want to deny it. “Yeah. I do. Very much.”
“Dude!” Gus explained, playfully punching him in the arm. “That’s great! You should go for it!”
“I mean, there’s just one problem with that…”
“What? Bad breath?”
“No, I- wait,” Hunter quickly checked his breath to ensure he hadn’t neglected that detail. He had been chewing mints all day. “No, not that. It’s just that, well, uh,” he chuckled nervously as the words quickly spilled out of him. “Willow maaaay be under the impression that I don’twanttokissher.”
“And whyyy exactly would she think that?”
“Well…”
Three weeks earlier:
“Hunter!” Willow greeted him joyfully as she opened the door to find him waiting with an equally wide smile to hers. “Hi! You’re right on time!”
“Oh, that’s a relief, I timed my pace so I would be,” he said
“Did you bring the stuff?” Willow asked with a giggle.
He held up his book bag with pride. “Got it all right here, safe and sound.”
“Perfect!” said Willow, her voice low and mischievous. “Let’s go!”
“Perfect! Yeah, okay let’s go-woah!”
Willow excitedly reached out to take his wrist to pull him inside and Hunter happily trailed after her.
“Dad! Papa! Hunter is here and he says hi and we’re gonna be in my room!” she called as she ran up the stairs.
“Okay petal, sounds good! Hello Hunter!” called Harvey.
“Hello sirs!” Hunter called back as best he could.
“Have fun!” Gilbert added.
“We will!” Willow called back as they finally made it to her room and just as she was about to shut the door behind them, her fathers added in unison:
“And make sure the door stays open!”
Willow groaned in defeat as she obliged, as though she had been hoping to outrun the instruction.
“Why do they always say that?” Hunter asked as he unpacked his bag, a collection of threads and patches as they prepared for a long evening of uniform customization to surprise the Entrails for their upcoming game with personalized jackets. Darius was always asking him to close his door, mostly because of how loud he liked to play his music.
“Oh, you know how they get,” she said simply, rolling her eyes endearingly. “They’re just overprotective.”
“Are they… scared of me?” Hunter asked, his voice low and hurt and Willow jumped to address the misunderstanding.
“Oh, no! No, nothing like that I promise,” Willow assured him with a smile he knew could never be deceptive. “No, they love you, they really do. They wanna give us our space but they also wanna make sure we’re not up here kissing.”
Hunter completely stopped working.
"What?” he basically squeaked after a moment, certain he had misheard her somehow.
“Oh, well ya know if we keep the door open then they think we’ll be less likely to kiss because they can like walk by and see,” Willow explained casually as she went to help him unpack the bag.
“W-why would they think we would be up here k-kissing?” Hunter asked in a panicked chuckle before clearing his throat, he felt like he was on the surface of the sun. “Ya know, cause we’re totally not.”
“Well, yeah I know that but if we leave the door open they’ll know that too,” said Willow with a shrug. “Personally, I think they’re just nosey because of how they used to be when they played flyer derby.”
“How come they never say it when Gus is with us?’
“Uh, it’s just a dad thing I guess,” said Willow, as she sorted the supplies trying not to show the mild blush creeping on her face. She knew why but she didn’t know how to say how she knew why.
“Just a dad thing, sure,” Hunter repeated lightly. So her dads thought there was a possibility they would kiss? Cool, cool, cool, no biggie. He knew he had been the last one to arrive at the Park residence several times and opened the door to find her and Gus laughing on their scrolls, or Luz or Amity would be over when he came to pick her up to go train and often the door was even locked. No he was the common denominator. He suddenly recalled Camila had a similar rule for when Luz and Amity were left alone. His mind raced to connect the dots as he realized that the Parks thought that if the two of them were specially left unsupervised, that they would…
“Ha ha yeah! A dad thing, totally!” Hunter exclaimed with forced laughter. “So totally not based on anything! Haha, because that would never happen!”
“Um, okay?”
“Yeah because we don’t, I mean we’ve never, we would never… I mean, what?”
“Are you okay, Hunter?” asked Willow, sitting on the edge of her bed beside him. He suddenly was aware of how often they sat on her bed together. Why did that make him feel nervous?
“Yeah, I’m totally fine!” he said, very much aware of how much he was sweating. “I’m great! I’m totally not thinking about kissing you! Ya know, if you want I can run downstairs and let your dads know they don’t have to worry about the door because of how much I don’t think about it!”
“Um…”
“I mean, you and me? Us? Kissing? Pssh!” Hunter continued, unaware of how to stop talking. “Who even thinks about that sometimes? That’s, uh, woah that’s a good one!”
Willow’s fathers must have read his mind or his diary somehow because Hunter had definitely thought about it. Never on purpose, it’s just one of those random scenarios that your mind makes up every few days, right? He couldn’t help that one day he realized that Willow was the perfect height to kiss on the forehead. Like, it would take very little effort just to lean forward and gently press her lips below her hairline. It had been in the human realm, the first time he had helped her in the garden and had ended up being chased by a swarm of bees. When Clover stepped in to explain things, she pulled him into an embrace to ensure he hadn’t been hurt and to let him know how happy she was that he had come out with her. When he looked down to assure her that he was fine, the thought devoured every corner of his mind. The action would certainly convey his feelings, would summarize words he wasn’t sure had been invented yet. It would just be really nice actually.
Over time, that thought evolved. His daydreams wandered to fetch visions of some nicer timeline where they had met under different circumstances and he was the kind of bold who kissed her hand when they met or kissed her cheek when they parted ways. The first time his unconscious mind leapt to insert them in place of O’Bailey and Ivy in the famous scene under the endless moon of Jupiter 7 where they sealed their love for each other with a kiss, Hunter awoke in a cold sweat feeling like he had reached a point of no return. But it must not be okay because Willow’s dads were clearly taking actions to prevent it and Hunter felt he needed to deny these claims, lest the front door to the Park house be closed to him forever.
“I mean, w-why would I try to kiss you? That just seems so-.”
“I got it, Hunter,” said Willow sternly as she rose to move the supplies to her desk. She kept her back to him as she organized the needles and threads. Her voice lacked its usual spunk, it was a tone he was unfamiliar with. “Message received, you don’t wanna kiss me. I’ll let my dads know they have nothing to worry about.”
---
“Dude…” was all Gus could say as Hunter finished his retelling.
“I know, I know!” Hunter groaned as he covered his face with his hands. “It’s bad, right?”
“It’s…not great,” Gus couldn’t lie. “But hey, it didn’t stop her from saying yes! That’s good, right?”
“But her dads think there’s a possibility that I would want to kiss her so much that they keep the door open to prevent it,” Hunter was letting all his pent up worries spiral out of him while Willow was out of earshot, but luckily Gus had become a pro at reeling him back in.
“They probably just remember what it's like to be young and have a crush on someone.”
“How do her dads know I have a crush on her?”
Gus couldn’t help but roll his eyes a little. “I mean, did you ever consider that you weren’t the one they were worried about?”
“What do you mean? I was the only one there.”
“I just mean, they know Willow better than they know you…”
“I’m not following.”
Gus sighed, knowing that the sharing of Willow’s feelings was not his responsibility but he couldn’t help relating to her frustration with Hunter’s inability to pick up hints no matter how obvious.
“Hunter, you got this far, just be honest.” he said sincerely. “We both know you want to tell her you like her.”
“I mean is that too much for one night?” Hunter asked in a panicked whisper. “Should I tell her I like her first and then reschedule the ki- or, hold on it’s probably weird to schedule that, huh? I mean what if she doesn’t feel that way about me and then boom! I’ve ruined her night because she’ll always remember this Grom as the night she couldn’t enjoy herself because I don’t know how to tell her I think about kissing her without being weird. Titan, and she just looks so… gah, is it hot in here?”
“Hunter, I promise nothing could ruin this night for Willow,” Gus chuckled. “Do you remember how excited she was when you asked her? You barely finished the question before she tackled you, you guys nearly fell to your death because she was so happy. It’s all she’s been talking about all week, I promise that you telling her you think she’s awesome will not ruin her night.”
“You sure?”
“Positive,” Gus said confidently. “Just don’t get too in your head, you know? Willow cares about you, she wants you to have a good time too. She’s not gonna care if you’re a bad kisser.”
“Thanks Gus, you know I really-,” Hunter cut himself off and offered his friend a glare as his voice became low and menacing. “I didn’t say I was worried I’d be a bad kisser.”
As Gus continued to attempt giving his friend a pep talk, across the room Willow could not take her eyes off Hunter.
“Doesn’t he look so cute?” sighed Willow dreamily as she stood beside Luz at the punch bowl.
“Darius and I may have to disagree with you on that,” Amity laughed as she poured Luz some punch. “After all the hours we spent suit shopping and at the tailor, he comes down the stairs in another ensemble from 2008.”
“Well you said he couldn’t wear the Cosmic Frontier cosplay,” Luz reminded her girlfriend. “So he had to make an impression somehow , and you know how much he wants to impress Willow.”
“Did he really say that?” Willow took a break from her string to gleefully ask. She felt like she was going to leap out of her skin as she looked back at him knowing he had gone out of his way to put in so much effort for her sake yet again. “Well you can tell him it’s working.”
“Ew, tell him yourself,” Amity groaned playfully.
“Oof, believe me I’m trying,” Willow chuckled softly.
“Are you guys having fun on your daaaaate?” Luz asked with a raised eyebrow.
She waved at him from across the room and he bashfully waved back, straightening his spine when he saw he had her attention. Willow giggled, finding it charming and endearing. She had been looking forward to this moment for weeks, preparing to ask him before he had beaten her to it. She knew he wanted tonight to be special, he was going all out at every turn to make sure she was comfortable and having fun.
She couldn’t help but hope it was all leading to something more.
Two weeks ago:
They were walking down the sidewalk in the human realm, revisiting an ice cream shop they had grown fond of when they had been trapped in the human realm. They had made sure to get a pint of their newest flavor of the month for Gus who had stayed at the Noceda’s to help Camila set up her old projector for a special viewing of the Cosmic Frontier holiday special that had only aired once that she had recently found her old recording of on a device even Luz considered historic.
Willow had recently caught up with the reading required to understand the special, but Camila had informed her that it was not canon and rather controversial in the fandom. This excited Willow and so she was spending their walk back trying to guess the wildest thing that could happen as though composing a bingo list to enhance the experience.
“...I also think they’ll reveal Ivy has a twin and O’Bailey will go to confess his feelings and then you find out it’s her twin and so it won’t count,” Willow continued. “And I know no one knows O’Bailey’s secret and it feels like they definitely don’t find out until closer to the end but I feel like memory loss is gonna be a big part of-.”
“I would wanna kiss you!” he blurted, unable to hold it in anymore. It had been weighing on him all week and hearing her talk about his favorite thing while looking so stunning sent him over the edge.
“What?”
“Er not right now!” He said, realizing the volume of his admission made it seem like he intended to follow though at that very moment. “I mean well yes right now as in I still feel that way but I’m not saying it because that’s what I… I just, I mean last week when I said that I wouldn’t kiss you I wasn’t saying that because I thought it would be unlikeable or unpleasant.”
“Oh,” Willow said, shaking herself out of her daze as she made the connection. “Wait, is that why you’ve been acting so weird?”
“I’ve been acting weird?”
“No, well yes but no I mean,” Willow smiled as she swung the bag of treats, feeling giddy at his timing. “I could tell you’ve been worried about something, but have you been making yourself crazy just to tell me that kissing me wouldn’t be so bad?”
That was definitely part of the reason but a larger percentage was what he had planned for tomorrow after practice: a gromposal that had been in the works since he had learned the term. But he couldn't give that way, not just yet.
“I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t offended you.” Hunter said softly. “I didn't want you to think I didn't want to because it didn't sound appealing, I’m sure it would be… nice.”
“So then what's the real reason you don't wanna kiss me?” Willow asked with a sly smile that faltered when she saw the color leave Hunter’s face. “Oh no Hunter, I was only teasing! It’s fine, really! I know you didn’t mean anything by it! It’s okay, really!”
“I just meant that your dads wouldn’t need to worry because I would never kiss you unless you wanted me to,” Hunter clarified with a deep breath. There, perfect. Now they could continue their way back to the house in peace and there would be nothing more to worry about or-
“Okay what if I said I wanted you to,” she began, her voice dancing and spinning like a vine twisting its way to the top of a fence, eager to see the other side. “What if I said I wanted you to and you had no doubt that I was totally okay with it? Would you… do it then?
“Is that… what's happening right now?”
Willow bit her lip as she took in the sight of the tall, nervous boy in front of her. He cared about her so much, so much it made him nervous. She knew everything he cared about he cared about intensely and with unbreakable loyalty. But she had suspected for awhile that the way he cared about her was different. That was what made it so familiar to her.
“What would you say if it was?” She said, giving a non answer. Because it was one thing to say ‘I want to kiss you’ but somehow even harder to ask ‘Do you want to kiss me?’ because didn’t other conversations have to happen first? Surely he was holding back because of the feeling that needed to be attached. Willow was nearly positive they shared these feelings, she was so so certain that a mind reader would know they were on the same page but neither wanted to risk losing what they had built by adding something heavier on.
But actions were louder than words, and a little harder to misinterpret.
“I uh, well I guess I-I would say…” Hunter stuttered to try and give a response without giving too much away. He had no way to support his theory with experience, but he knew that kissing Willow would be pleasant, it would be warm and soft and safe. But he couldn’t speak to the experience she would have.
But Willow once again shared his thoughts.
When Willow had woken up that morning, she had not intended to kiss Hunter in the middle of the sidewalk forgetting the urgency of getting their icy treats home before they melted, but at this moment she couldn’t imagine continuing the day without doing so. So many times they had been on the brink and being more, of something slipping that platonic friends did not harbor for one another. It was small and dramatic and silly and confusing and always there like a snowball rolling down a hill growing faster and bigger with every inch. She had always been a fan of directness, of being open and honest but she didn’t know how to say she felt this way plainly. It could be done in three words, nothing crazy complicated about that, right?
But something always held her back.
As she tried to summon a response both clever and truthful to try and help him find his own, the sound of church bells reminded them they were on a timed limit. More specifically, they were supposed to be back at the house before four o clock, which the bells indicated it now was.
“Well, anyway, we should probably be getting back,” he said, releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “I know Gus is probably jumping off the walls waiting for us and I really wanna hear more of your theories.”
“Yeah, right of course,” said Willow softly, as she tried to shake away the haze she had wandered into. “Besides, they won’t stay cold forever but also my fingers are starting to freeze.”
“Oh well here let me take it,” said Hunter, his nerves letting up when he saw an opportunity to help her. Before she could say anything, he maneuvered the bag from her grip. “The cold doesn’t bother me anyway, it’s a grimwalker thing.”
She knew even if it did he would endure it for her sake. It was an action so simple and small but it made her heart spin every time he leapt to her aide. It wasn’t because he thought she needed his help but because he enjoyed helping her, because maybe he was looking for any reason to be closer to her, even for a moment.
“Well aren’t you sweet,” she said. As Hunter readjusted his grip on the bags, she went onto her tip toes and placed a quick but purposeful kiss to his cheek and continued to walk as though it was no big deal. “Thanks Hunter.”
Hunter froze, trying to process and replay and stay conscious. It had been so swift and soft but it was as though the brush of her lips inspired the world to stop and adopt new colors. It was like something finally clicked in his mind, that he had thought it so impossible because he did not know how to take that step but he should have known he would once again follow Willow’s lead.
Willow smiled to herself, knowing in an instant that her risk had paid off. He quickly caught up her as she continued with her Cosmic Frontier theories, secretly delighted by the way his face was red the rest of the way home.
The ball was in his court.
-
“Do you guys think he asked me because he likes me or because he knows how much I’ve always wanted a gromposal?” Willow asked.
“Um… both?” said Amity as she and Luz shared a confused and slightly concerned look.
“Willow, are you seriously doubting that Hunter is crazy about you?” Luz asked sternly.
“Well, I mean he could still like me and still have asked me just as a friend,” said Willow. “He’s been doing a lot to try and be a normal teenager, what if he just thought that Gromposals were a part of that because of how much I was talking about them when I thought I was dropping hints?”
“Well in my experience, friends don’t normally practice in their bedroom mirror how they’re going to ask just friends to dance with them,” said Luz.
“Well, I’ll believe it when I see it,” Willow said with a smile, Hunter actually had managed that. He could spin and shuffle with the best of them, but every time the music started to slow down he made an excuse to leave for the duration of the song. He would dance beside her, and she could tell he had practiced a few moves to impress her, but they weren’t dancing together . But she had a feeling with how much he built up the gromposal that he wanted his dance ask to be equally special.
“I’m pretty sure he’s waiting for the right song,” said Amity. “There’s this one he found in the human realm that Darius said he’s been playing nonstop because it reminds him of you.”
“Really?”
Amity’s eyes widened. “And I’m just now realizing that that was supposed to be a secret,” she grimaced. “Please forget I said anything.”
Across the room, Gus and Hunter were also discussing the song.
“Hunter, being the Grom host I have an obligation to keep the evening to a certain flow,” said Gus. “I can’t keep pushing back your song, the music has to flow, bro.”
“I know, I know,” he said nervously swirling his punch. “It’s just… every time I know it’s coming up I get in my head.”
The first few notes would start to play and Hunter would instinctively run past the joining couples with envy in the pit of his stomach to tell Gus to wait a little longer. The crowd would quickly recover, as Gus always knew the perfect transition out, and Hunter would walk back to her no closer to his goal than he was before.
“Well I have it queued up to play after we take our photo, so its time to figure it out,” said Gus sternly. “The worst thing that could happen is she says no.”
But that wasn’t true. Because she could say yes, thinking him asking meant he knew what he was supposed to do, but he knew if he was meant to take Willow by the waist and pull her close to him he would be paralyzed. And even if he wasn’t, what if after all the extreme movement he smelled or was sweaty and Willow would regret being so close to him? What if he tripped and fell? What if he stepped on her toes?
What if he thought about kissing her again?
In his mind he thought about using the idea of asking her to dance to delay the higher issue but Gus was right; it was time to figure it it
He didn’t ask Willow to Grom so he could sit in the corner hyperventilating about how much he liked her, no he wanted her to have a good time, and that was the perfect goal to distract him.
“Gus, do you have the song Willow likes? The one from the shoe commercial?”
“I might have had Luz help me get it, why do you ask?” Gus asked with a smirk that said he already knew.
“Can you play it?”
Hunter knew it would get Willow back on the dance floor in an instant, and he intended to be there when she rushed on in excitement. The iconic notes echoed, and Hunter saw Willow’s ears perk up as she turned her head to see it was true. In the human realm, Willow had been obsessed with the cheesy shoe commercial that played nonstop. And thusly, Hunter had been obsessed with how obsessed with it she was. It was improbable, everyone dancing in the street uninterrupted by traffic just because of how comfortable their shoes were.
Hunter stood in the center of the floor, his eyes locked confidentiality on her as they both knew what they had to do. Hunter got a running start and slid on his knees to her and quickly leapt up and gave her a wink, just as the actors did. Willow nearly squealed in delight, recognizing the reference instantly. She quickly grabbed his hand to lead him onto the floor and he happily followed behind her, feeling as though they traveled in slow motion. They fell into a comfortable rhythm, spinning and singing along just as they often did in the Noceda living room. It was too silly to be scary as Hunter found himself seeing her under the reflection of the mirror ball, her eyes shining as everything else around her melted away.
“You’re a really good dancer,” Willow said, catching her breath as the song started to fade out.
“Thanks,” he said, equally breathless. “Y-you too. Not that I’m surprised! You’re good at everything.”
She bit her lip as she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Well, it helps to have a great partner,” she said shyly.
Hunter laughed nervously, becoming hyper aware of how close they were, how close they had been during the song. He saw her hand hovered beside his and he gently swung his own to knock into hers as though by accident. She inched closer.
“Well, just to be clear, you’re the great partner here,” Hunter said modestly, and Willow couldn’t help but blush, a string of small yellow flowers blooming in her hair. Something compelled him to take her hand, and he rubbed his fingers over her knuckle. He cleared his throat. “Willow, do you think-.”
“Willow! Hunter! C’mon! We’re next in line for the photo booth!” Gus called.
“We’ll be right there!” Willow called before turning back to him, giving his hand a small squeeze. “I’m sorry, what were you gonna say?”
He gulped, having the perfect chance to chicken out but knowing he didn’t want to. He pressed on right where he left off. “You think you might wanna dance some more after we take a photo? Like, just you and me? To like… a slower song?”
“Like a slower… romantic song?” Willow asked, testing the waters.
“Yeah, yeah t-the song could be romantic,” he gulped. “I-I-I’d prefer it to be romantic. With you.”
“Okay cool,” Willow said with a wide smile, sliding closer to him and lacing their fingers together. “Me too.”
“R-really?”
“Yeah,” she said brightly, absolutely smitten by the utterly adorable and shocked look he wore. “I’m having a really nice time with you, Hunter,”
He hadn’t messed it up. She was having a nice time, she was having a nice time with him. He took a deep breath and the words just started to pour out of him.
“Willow I just wanted to say that I’m having a great time with you too and that I always have a good time with you and when I asked you to Grom I didn’t ask you as a friend even though I really like being your friend but I asked you because I like you romantically and if you would prefer staying just friends I’m okay with that but I just wanted to thank you for agreeing to accompany me and express my admiration for you because I think you’re the coolest person I’ve ever met and also you look so pretty tonight it makes me feel dizzy.”
He leaned down and removed his hand from hers to cup her cheek as he quickly pressed a kiss to the other side before rushing to meet the others. His face was completely red and he fought through the lightheadedness to keep walking, stuffing his hands in his pockets to try and seem casual. He was too overwhelmed to wait to see her reaction.
He didn’t see that she was utterly enchanted as she watched him hurry with wide eyes as she touched the spot where he had kissed. A delighted smile overtook her face as she fluffed her dress and proceeded to float in the booth after him, her eyes fixated and determined. She was deaf to the chaos around her as the boy became surrounded by a vibrant, rosy frame. She had no doubt they were on the same page now, and the ball had returned to her court.
“Took you guys long enough! Tell Luz you vote for my pose first!” said Vee as Hunter was the first of the two to enter the booth, the rest of their friends in the middle of trying to agree on how to take the photo.
“Can we all even fit?” Amity asked as they tried to arrange themselves in frame.
“Yeah we just have to squeeze!” announced Luz. from beside her. “Gus, move over!”
“I will if Hunter does!” He replied as he turned to face his friend. “Hunter, dude, why-.”
Gus was greeted by Hunter wearing a face that he could only describe as seasick. His face was contorted like he wasn’t sure what to feel and as Willow entered his view just behind him wearing a soft, calm expression Gus knew why.
“You did it, didn’t you?” He whispered with a gasp and Hunter merely nodded, still feeling as though he could combust. Gus jumped up and gave his best friend a celebratory noogie.
“Willow, do you wanna stand by us or-.” Amity began to ask before catching sight of the dizzy expression her friend wore, an expression she knew all too well. She instantly knew the cause as she went to stand beside Hunter who was attempting to fix his hair. “No way,” she gasped as Willow wordlessly confirmed her thought by looking her focus on Hunter, shaking away the small flowers that had bloomed atop her head once again.
“Told you Amity!” Gus called victoriously before leaning down to whisper to Vee what had happened.
“Hunter, your bow tie is crooked,” called Luz as she pulled Vee back into the frame, too focused on preserving the memory to realize what was enfolding behind her.
“I’ll fix it,” said Willow with a dreamy smile as she reached out to adjust his tie. “I need to make sure my date looks his best for the photo, right?”
Hunter let out a high-pitched chuckle as Willow pulled him closer, and he didn’t really care that she technically wasn’t fixing his bow tie as her words echoed in his ears.
Date… date… date.
My date. She said he was her date. They were on a date, and they both knew it. She was his date and having a good time and it was all just so much that all he could do was give her a small nod of agreement.
“Hunter, put your arm around Willow.” Luz instructed as she looked at the positioning to try and get everyone in the shot.
“Yeah, Hunter put your arms around me,” Willow said dreamily as she used her hold on his bow tie to pull him even closer. Hunter felt transported, as though just being in her gaze made everything else around them melt. He had thought after his impulsive action she might look at him differently, but this was beyond his wildest dreams. Could it be that his impulsiveness was contagious? His hand cautiously hovered over her waist as he debated if he was indeed bold enough to put his arm around her. He felt like he was in a sauna as the sounds around them became muffled as he was overly aware of the sound of his heart beating. Or was it the sound of hers? He wasn’t sure if he technically had a heartbeat but whatever the case was as long as his eyes were on her everything was in slow motion again.
His eyes tried to spend equal time between her and the camera but there was a clear victor for his attention. “Have I told you how cute you look tonight?” Willow said with an airy giggle, deaf to the orders to smile and pay attention around her.
“Um hehe I-I don’t think so,” Hunter chuckled, his mouth dry.
“Well you do,” she giggled again, like it was some inside joke as she used her hold on his bowtie to keep him close. “Hunter, I wanted to tell you-.”
As Hunter turned his head to hear her better, he underestimated just how close they were and the movement caused their lips to touch unintentionally. Normally, that would be when Hunter melted into the floor or tried to vanish from existence, but even the small contact was enough to cause fireworks. That was when everything really stopped. It was nothing more than a peck, catching them both off guard, but there had never been a more happy accident.
She went down off her tiptoes slowly, both of them holding back any sign of a reaction until the other did. But there was no apology, nothing to be sorry for, nothing to regret, and once they both realized that they donned matching grins. They reentered reality together as the flash of the camera reminded them why they were here, and as their friends shouted their approval they also shouted out the themes of the poses they were supposed to be doing. Willow and Hunter got their bearings back and offered the camera a smile, which was not hard to do as they both couldn’t help but smile after what had just occurred. Another photo was taken and as the rest of the group moved and adjusted to do another pose, Hunter noticed his hand was still on Willow’s waist. Willow seemed to notice at the same time, and as her eyes found him again she was surprised to see he was already focused on her, or maybe he had never stopped.
Wordlessly they moved closer to each other until they realized they each possessed half of a magnet that was desperate to be kept together and found themselves in another kiss. This one was undoubtedly purposeful and not as sudden or quick as the first one. Willow’s arms went from holding his bow tie to drape around his shoulders taking a moment to plant lipstick marks all along his face. He saw the opportunity to use his hold on her waist to eagerly loft her off the ground, making a point to kiss her back. He wasn’t sure how he knew how, but he did and he felt like he could fly away as he felt her lips form a smile against his.
“Okay love birds, other people are waiting for the Photo Booth!”
It was like a record scratch as they stopped to remember where they were, eyes opening to come off whatever cloud they had been on as they faded back into reality once more. Willow leaned back to break the kiss, and Hunter couldn’t help but follow as though to savor the moment just a few moments more. She adjusted her glasses to better see the lipstick smudges she had left on his mouth and the side of his face paired with the goofy, awestruck look of disbelief.
“Sorry!” Willow giggled, as she looked around and realized the rest of their friends had left. “I guess we got carried away, huh?”
“Mhmhmhahaha,” Hunter squeaked in response, still trying to process that he was real and this was something that really happened to him in real life.
“Hunter, unless you wanna carry me out you’re gonna have to put me down,” Willow whispered.
“Oh yeah sorry yeah I can do that heh,” he said gently, setting her down. "We should uh, we should probably go.” He turned to leave but Willow caught his arm and pulled him out, so he left the correct way and didn’t re-enter the long line of other students waiting to take a photo.
“Well that’ll certainly be a photo for the scrapbook,” Willow laughed as she rested her head against his arm. They both felt that if they did not hold onto each other, they would float away. They knew the rest of the group was waiting for them by the bleachers ready to tease them, knowing from a distance they were at the ready with smirks of ‘About time’s and ‘I-told-you-so’s.
But Hunter was still lost in this impossible daydream beyond anything he thought possible. He couldn’t help but feel it had ended too soon, and now he truly had nothing standing in his way.
“Willow,” he began delicately as he cleared his throat, trying to seem calm and casual. “Would you want to uh, I-I mean if you could come with me, if you wanted to of course, outside where we could be alone, if you were okay with that, and I thought we could-.”
“Hunter and I are gonna go kiss in the hallway!” Willow announced giddily to the group as she redirected him to the door. His gaze darted between his friends and the wonderful girl who somehow read his mind, knowing thoughts he struggled to vocalize.
“Haha, whaaat? No, I mean that’s not.. I mean it’s not…” he realized it was pointless to try and hide his glee and as he allowed the dopey grin to overtake him as he embraced the moment and picked up the pace to follow her yet again and forever to no one’s surprise. “Heh, I’m Hunter.”
As they ran out the gym together, Hunter made sure to keep the door open behind them.
108 notes · View notes
vaspider · 1 year ago
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I genuinely hope this isn’t too prying or intrusive, I am strictly asking out of curiosity but…. What…. Is going on with that 16 year old and why is it on a post about a house coat? Are you ok?
I'm fine.
That kid has been fixated on me since I said, basically, that the French Revolution killed a bunch of innocent people and isn't something to be emulated.
For the past 3 weeks, since I told her to leave me alone on Tumblr, she's been stalking me across the internet, digging up every possible way to contact me, and sending elaborate death threats along with suicide threats. I've turned off the contact forms on my professional website and NK. She's sent asks here and contacted me from multiple Tumblrs, multiple Facebook and Instagram accounts, TikTok, LinkedIn, Reddit, YouTube, BlueSky, and multiple email accounts. I'm pretty sure I'm missing something, though I do have it all screenshotted and saved. She found my phone number and left multiple threatening voicemails, and she kept contacting my business, sending death threats to places where my employees, including my younger brother, had to deal with them.
She seems to think that I'm a man, and that I'm attempting to use magic on her, and that she can threaten me into doing whatever it is she wants. I don't really understand what's going on in her head, and I'm not trying to do so. I don't really read the things she writes.
At this point, the FBI is involved - she's been sending death threats pretty much every day for about a month now with a few breaks here and there - and I've been declining to respond to her for the vast majority of that time, hoping that she'd get bored, or, hopefully, that someone who cares about her would realize how deeply, deeply unwell she is and get her help before this becomes a criminal matter. I really, really don't want to be put in that position, but I also can't ask the people who work for me (some of whom are my family) to deal with a constant barrage of messages detailing how if I don't publicly apologize for ... fuck all if I know or care... she's going to "slit [my] throat like a Sicilian" and throw my body in the Willamette River.
I really, really, really just want this kid to leave me alone. I didn't seek her out - she sought me out - and I'm not interested in talking to or debating with a 16 year old. But, also, the things that she's been doing for the past month are crimes and truly beyond the pale.
As to why that's on a video about a housecoat... your guess is as good as mine. Her last comments before this were on the two public videos on my abandoned YouTube account, both of which were process videos about making patches, and she left death threats on a post on my old personal Instagram that I made on the day of the Tree of Life shooting. It has nothing to do with me or what I'm saying - she seems to just randomly pick things to add her bizarre urban fantasy VASpider fanfic to.
Please leave that person alone, everybody. She is a third my age and very clearly deeply unwell. I'd been ignoring her, but I'm kind of hoping against hope that knowing that, yeah, actually, what she's doing is a crime, people take that seriously, and I really really really don't want her to fuck up her life? will convince her to stop.
I'm not afraid. I'm mostly just tired and very, very sad. It is really upsetting to see someone who is so out of alignment with consensus reality, and it's even more upsetting when that person is so young. I feel deeply sorry for her, both that she's unwell in a way that's clearly causing her harm, and that she doesn't seem to be getting the help she needs from the people around her. I hope it's just that the people around her don't realize what's going on and that someone can make them aware, because it is just... rotten... to see someone that young making such a mess of things.
I don't want to talk about this further. I've been avoiding talking about it publicly at all, but at the point where we're closing on a month... I dunno. I hope saying something directly and making it clear this isn't going to go the way she thinks gets it through to her.
I'm gonna go play with my dog.
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propertyofkylar · 3 months ago
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kinktober day 20: formalwear (f!avery x f!pc)
word count: 1007
tags/warnings: fucking in formalwear, fingering, avery is kind of an asshole but what else is new, pc gets turned on by luxury so relatable
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It was a little bit scary, knowing that the cumulative worth of everything you were wearing was more money than you’d ever had in your life. 
Avery had picked out tonight’s outfit for you, and you were putting finishing touches on it while in her (fancy) bedroom. The gown you had on was truly exquisite - plunging neckline, satin fabric, delicate embroidered details. It was a far cry from what you’d worn on your first date with her: a ratty black dress and heels that had been in fashion 15 years ago. 
The elaborate dress was accented by accessories Avery had purchased for you. Your hair was styled in a neat updo, exposing the dangly earrings and heavy necklace on your throat. Frankly, you couldn’t stop staring at yourself. Avery had turned you into an entirely different person, and you couldn’t get enough. 
Avery, for her part, had on a long dark evening gown with a slit on one side. The simple elegance highlighted her natural beauty and for once, you felt like the two of you actually belonged together. You didn’t feel out of place. When the two of you would be seen together at tonight’s party, you would fit in at her side. 
She had a smug smile on her face as she saw you admiring yourself. “You certainly are a sight to behold,” Avery said, lightly scratching the nape of your neck. You shivered. 
“Look who’s talking,” you said with a smile. She laughed and gently took your chin in her hand.
“Seriously, though. You look beautiful. I hope you’re growing more accustomed to this life, mm?” 
Accustomed? Growing up the way you did, you probably would never really get used to dressing like this. But it felt good to do so. Seeing yourself like this was a great confidence boost. And getting to be with Avery while doing it…you knew there was no real love between the two of you. You got enough money to survive and to play the part of a socialite, while Avery got a precious jewel to hang off her arm and laugh at her every word. And that was fine. But you couldn’t deny that Avery was a very attractive older woman, and for the most part you enjoyed her presence, so it was overall a pleasant endeavor.
You turned to look at Avery, putting that innocent look on your face you knew she couldn’t resist. “Thank you,” you said sweetly. “You always take such good care of me, Avery.”
She smiled and took a few steps back, sitting on the edge of her plush bed. She patted the spot next to her. “Come here. We don’t need to leave just yet.”
You knew exactly what Avery was getting at and sat next to her obediently. She ran her hands over your body, feeling the soft fabric of your dress. “Stunning,” she said softly, and leaned in to kiss you.
You met Avery’s lips with a gentle passion. She slid a hand up your bare leg, squeezing your inner thigh. You whined into her mouth at the feeling. Her fingers ghosted at the thin lace of your panties and you pulled back to give her a confused look.
Avery grinned in response. “Well, we don’t have that much time before we have to leave.” She hiked up your skirt and began rubbing your clit through the fabric of your underwear - which, of course, had also been gifted to you by Avery. When you moaned and spread your legs slightly, Avery took that as an invitation to pull the panties to the side and slip two of her fingers into your cunt, which was growing wetter by the second. You opened your mouth to moan again or something, but Avery covered your lips with her own.
The feeling of her neatly manicured nails inside your aching pussy was intense as they scratched at your inner walls. The heel of her hand rubbed against your clit with every movement of her fingers and you found yourself whimpering into Avery’s mouth. With how turned on you already were to begin with, you knew you wouldn’t last long - and you knew that was exactly what Avery wanted. 
Getting finger-fucked while wearing an outfit more expensive than your life was an incredibly arousing experience. And Avery was clearly aiming to make quick work of you. Everything felt heightened; the smell of her luxury perfume in your nose creating a high.
She curled her fingers inside of you, pumping in and out. You felt yourself dripping onto the bedsheets and were thankful that Avery had pulled your skirt up enough before she started. A wet spot on the expensive dress would have honestly ruined your night. You tugged at the neckline of Avery’s gown and latched your mouth to her nipple, swirling your tongue as it hardened into a bud. You didn’t want to be completely selfish, after all. 
However, it was hard to do anything to Avery because her fingers were just that distracting. A lewd, wet sound permeated the room as she pumped her digits through your juices. Your mouth hung open, but no noises came out as pleasure mounted inside of you.
Your whole body was trembling as you felt a familiar tightness in your lower belly. Stuttered breaths were all you could manage as you began to fall apart around Avery’s fingers. Your own nails clung to the sheets beneath you as your orgasm hit, a long whine escaping your lips. Avery looked proud as she pulled her hand back, seemingly very pleased with herself for your speedy climax. Then, she shoved the two fingers into your mouth, watching you intently as you swirled your tongue around them and swallowed your own sweet slick.
“Good work, princess,” Avery was panting slightly as her fingers left your mouth with a wet pop. She glanced at her phone on the nightstand and turned back to you with a smile.
“There’s still some time left. Won’t you show me how much you appreciate me?”
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simonsquest · 28 days ago
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one of my favorite scenes that i just recently re-read, is the one where simon's giving his big ol speech after defeating dracula and Laurent smiles at him and says his parents would be proud :) such a wonderful reward after enduring so much grumpiness lol. and for a scene im curious about, can you tell me more about the interaction between simon and his vampire hunter friend in ch. 52? i was thoroughly engrossed in their back-and-forth! i still wonder why the stranger was so adamant about simon abandoning ship. it seemed well-meaning to me, but maybe its not! maybe he's evil! we'll see! also, it seems Simon's attitude towards his son is different than it was in the past- before, he was so resistant and even horrified by the idea of passing the whip to him, but in the future it seems to be something he has woefully but certainly accepted, with lines like "...my deeds will live on faithfully in my son”, and "If I am capable of honouring my father long deceased, my son will be, too". its a sad but necessary development to see family-guy Simon accept that he can't just show love to his family by giving them hugs and kisses and keeping them out of harm's way. loving your family sometimes means abandoning them, dying and leaving them helpless, and respectfully passing on the torch........... just aRRGHJGAHSDGJHSD
Firstly, thank you as always for your endless support and enthusiasm. I can’t tell you how delighted I am whenever I receive multiple paragraphs from you - seriously! You’re the best. ^_^
Aw that’s so sweet! I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me that Laurent’s #1 fan would appreciate the fleeting moments of him showing kindness, hehehe.
With regard to chapter 52 and the nameless vampire hunter, I won’t confirm or deny if it’s well-meaning or not. And it’s tough because I really want to elaborate on it, but it’s something that’s better left to be unveiled in the story. :^)
But I’ll say this: the stranger’s plea for Simon to abandon his quest came from a very personal place. It’s rooted from a few pivotal facts: how he’s seen people around him turn to worship Dracula. Having gone on his own quest to try and reverse the vampirism in his wife without success. What he had to leave behind in pursuit of that, and of course the hurt of what it meant to lose her, and to lose what little community he could have had in Ondol.
You’re absolutely right about that. I have a headcanon that there’s a very specific reason why Juste is the one to inherit the VK, and not any of Simon’s direct descendant(s):
because Simon chose to hold onto, and fight with, the VK for as long as humanly possible. His intention from the very beginning was to spare his child(ren) of that burden. Rooted in this headcanon, in my mind the VK would never be inherited by Mathieu, even when he reaches sixteen. It would only go to Juste when Simon truly cannot fight any more. (I have so many ficlet ideas brewing about this very topic…)
But that isn’t to say that Simon would not prepare Mathieu in other ways. Simon deeply respects the Belmont family history and would want for that to be valued and honoured well into the future. That can only be done by sharing stories, and allowing Mathieu to be the witness to them. To fight alongside (see: behind) his father when he’s of age, but Simon would never permit him to bear the weight of it as he did, entirely alone.
Simon’s a bit over-protective, but with good reason!
But it’s inevitable and futile to continue to try and spare anyone strung along into this bloodline from their part in it.
“loving your family sometimes means abandoning them, dying and leaving them helpless, and respectfully passing on the torch……….. just aRRGHJGAHSDGJHSD”
DSJHFBSIDFHBSH I’M EMOTIONAL aaaaaa. You hit the nail on the head: Simon realizes his mortality in his cursed state, and that Death might claim him far sooner than he could have ever hoped. And that changes everything.
“Return to your family, to your wife and your son waiting for you.” (Author’s translation: “Go cherish your time with your family while you have it, you’re not long for this world.”) […] And though Simon wants to vent his frustrations for having more of his time wasted, there is something about the manner in which his travelling companion has conveyed his words that causes Simon’s heart to ache. He knew well the risk of venturing on this quest. He knew that he may never return from it, deteriorated as he has become.
All of this introspection just makes me even more excited for you to experience the story as it continues. Thank you again!
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eemcintyre · 1 year ago
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Let the Games Begin
TW- era-appropriate but questionable attitudes about women and non-American cultures; predatory/mildly stalker-y vibes
Summary- Terry Silver (80s edition™️) is determined to claim the one woman at Dynatox who doesn't appear to be interested in him, and he concocts an elaborate scheme by which to do so.
Alright everyone, we are officially rolling on Part 1 of this series! Hours and days have gone into this, my most involved post to date. I hope everyone has as much fun reading this as I did writing it 🥰🤞🏻 This series will take much longer between posts for obvious reasons, but rest assured that I am working diligently and keep your eyes peeled for the next part!
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Terry Silver hadn’t been able to truly focus on his work since the previous autumn; one year ago. What he had done, and was doing at the present moment, had been a lot of delegating and a lot of smoking cigars with his feet propped on his desk.
What had started out as a minor annoyance had mutated into an undeniable obsession, so revolting that he was almost nauseated. As much as he tried to deny it to himself, Terry could feel the situation gradually spiraling out of his control. When she’d started appearing in his dreams a few nights ago, robbing him of even the briefest moment of peace, that’s when he really felt his control and composure starting to slip and knew something drastic needed to be done.
She. Valerie. She who had been hired one year ago to work for Dynatox as a public relations specialist (no easy task these days with the growing environmentalist movement). Who had quickly become one of their hardest and most talented workers; who was polite and quick-witted, and who, although certainly plain-looking in the grand scheme of what the state of California had to offer, had the nerve to be the only woman in the company who wouldn’t give Terry Silver the time of day.
Over her comparatively brief tenure at Dynatox, she’d been pleasantly surprised to work her way up to the top floor. It was a convenient coincidence that this was where Terry’s office was. The proximity had afforded him countless opportunities to drop lines and try to pique her interest, but, every time, he was unceremoniously shut down, whether she politely laughed it off as a joke or regaled him with her very full roster of work tasks.
These interactions left Terry in a state of confused fury. After all, what made her, some nobody public relations rep from nowhere, think she was so special? Where did someone like her get off treating someone like him so ambivalently, when any other woman would consider herself lucky to attract his interest?
She didn’t wear a ring or appear to be dating another man, and for a time, he’d wondered if she was a lesbian. However, after digging into her history, he found that she had once seriously dated a man back home (home being the other side of the country) and casually gone out with a couple of others since arriving in California, but nothing had come of them. So, what was the problem? Tapping into the company grapevine, he found that, rather, her reservations regarding him seemed to be that she was well-aware of- and thoroughly unimpressed by- his playboy reputation.
Terry clenched his jaw as he stared through his open office doorway, a perfect window to Valerie’s desk. Her pretentious round glasses, the fawnlike, coy hazel eyes behind them, and her bland but form-fitting skirt suits all seemed to taunt him. He could have her fired at the snap of his fingers, and he often comforted himself with this knowledge, but it would be far more satisfying to somehow get her in his clutches, make her see what she was missing out on and make her equally obsessed with him. Have her in every conceivable way and ruin her for anyone else- better yet, trick her into falling in love with him- just so he could drop her like she was nothing and put her back in her place.
At this immensely appealing thought, Terry took a lusty puff of his cigar, the smoke hovering over Valerie’s figure before dissipating along its upward path. He’d taken to smoking in his office more and more often- she thought he hadn’t picked up on the way she glared at him every time she detected the scent, but he caught it every time and it gave him an admittedly childish satisfaction. It was just too hilarious how easy it was to get the little thing so riled up, thinking her insignificant opinion mattered at all when he himself was on every fucking Forbes list and the provider of her livelihood.
Her soft laugh floated through the doorway from where she sat at her desk, engaging in a friendly exchange with the person across from her. She was wearing red lipstick today. It was as if she was purposely trying to torment him. Terry watched her raise a teacup to her lips and studied the lipstick stain left behind on the rim with particular attention, wondering what it tasted like.  
If he were to just openly ask her out, she would undoubtably say no. A covert operation would be required. The previous night, over a thoughtful soak in the bath and a glass of whiskey, he’d managed to finally come up with the perfect plan. With just the right amount of basis in reality, it would be cunning enough to fool even her while being a lot of fun along the way for him.
He would ask her to act out a fake relationship with him, the pretense being that he was trying to get back at an exe, as well as temper his wild image for potential investors who were not too enthusiastic about his outrageous lifestyle. To lay a believable amount of groundwork for everyone around them, the ruse would start months in advance- it was early autumn now, and the plan would culminate with the perfect event- the suitably theatrical backdrop of the company’s annual Christmas gala.
The exe would be a real figure from Terry’s past- Alicia Harlow. A fellow high-profile figure in the business realm- specifically the heir to AllNation, the U.S.’s number-one insurance company- they maintained a tenuous acquaintance with each other for the sake of their respective business interests. It was also true that, while she currently spent her time traveling from country to country, Alicia would be spending Christmas in California to visit relatives and recuperate at home for the first time in a few years. Though Terry really hardly cared what Alicia thought of him, secure in the knowledge that the breakup was all her loss, it would be an added bonus to reconnect with her just to show off how well he was doing and make her jealous.  
Not only would this scheme serve to lessen Valerie’s suspicions of ulterior motives toward her, thinking all such motives were directed toward Alicia, but Terry could evoke her sympathy if he really laid it on thick with the pathetic, rejected-lover-with-a hurt-ego act. Show her that he was so much more than the narrow view his reputation regrettably portrayed. Finally, to ensure it would be an offer she couldn’t turn down, he was going to offer to double her holiday bonus. That kind of money would be hard for anyone to refuse- especially someone like her- and to him, it was pocket change anyway.
The process of researching Valerie had gone beyond just her dating history and Terry had also delved into her financial situation. Apparently, her move across the country was all part of some grand plan to prove to herself and her family that she could “make it on her own” and attain the kind of success and renown that she had been told was unreasonable. It made perfect sense why she worked at Dynatox- she was about as ambivalent to the company’s goals as she was to the man who oversaw them, but it was a highly successful company. Her eyes betrayed her hunger to get somewhere, be someone, and there was a good place to do it.
It was such a terribly overdone and insipid trope that Terry would have been disappointed if it wasn’t going to work so well to his benefit. While she was paid well for her work, living in California wasn’t cheap. Apparently, she lived in some shithole apartment that just bordered the rough part of town. Some extra funds would definitely capture her attention and were likely to seal the agreement.
Yes, Terry could work with that. His plan would take a lot of work, but he was no stranger to hard work- he was a stranger, however, to not getting what he wanted when he wanted it.
He summoned her to his office.
~
Valerie had observed Mr. Silver out of the corner of her eye and noted that he’d been reclining, feet on the desk and cigar between his lips, for a solid half hour. While the rest of the floor hummed with activity- and the PR team had been double-timing it lately, managing a situation in the Midwest where protestors were objecting to a new Dynatox plant in their area- he seemed not to have a care in the world.
Therefore, upon receiving a page on the telephone from him, summoning her to his office, Valerie punched the last few letters of the document she was typing abnormally hard. She respected the man as her boss; as someone who had built up a highly successful company that was currently paying her bills. But, beyond that, he exhibited many of the traits that she found to be the most abhorrent, from his short-fused and loud temper to the way he peacocked his wealth and good looks… Yes, she’d be lying to herself if she said his imposing stature, intense topaz-blue eyes and glossy, dark hair weren’t attractive. She could be fair and impartial enough to acknowledge that. But what a waste.
Reaching the end of the sentence she was typing, Valerie took a last sip of tea, as if to prepare herself. Knowing that he had a direct line of sight to her desk all the while, and feeling his eyes on her, she took her sweet time meandering into Mr. Silver’s office.
“Mr. Silver, you wanted to see me?” she inquired, lingering in the doorway. She took in the details of his attire: his white trousers and loose-fitting navy button-up, the gold chain around his neck and the diamond stud in his left ear all reeked of California excess. Not to mention the slicked-back ponytail- Valerie had no idea what he possibly thought he was doing with that stylistic choice. 
“Yes, Ms. Clancy, come in,” he replied, gesturing her forward. “You can shut the door behind you.” The words themselves were a suggestion, but he phrased it like an order.
She coughed pointedly upon entering the cloud of cigar smoke that encircled him.
“Sit down,” he smiled warmly, uncrossing his long legs and resting them under the desk, replacing them with his elbows as he leaned toward her, hands folded.
Valerie sat with her own hands folded in her lap and adjusted her skirt, sitting under his piercing gaze and getting the irrational feeling like he could see through her clothes or something. Trying to maintain eye contact without turning red, she attempted to make their interaction as quick and painless as possible:
“If this is about the Midwest project, I told you that my team and I aren’t going to be able to get it to you any sooner than the end of the week. We’re already working double-time…”
“No, no,” he interjected, tapping the ashes off the end of his cigar into a tray on his desk. “There’s something else I need to discuss with you.”
“I… okay?” Utterly mystified, mildly annoyed, and growing a bit concerned, Valerie subconsciously adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose. She mentally reviewed the tasks she’d completed recently, wondering if she’d unwittingly made some kind of mistake she was about to be reprimanded for.
“Oh, don’t look so worried,” he assured her, his gaze softening as he grinned apologetically. “I have a proposition for you.” Silver suddenly rose from his chair, cigar in hand, and began pacing lazily before her. “Ms. Clancy, I don’t suppose you’ve heard of Kimura Capital Investments?” he inquired, exhaling a stream of smoke in her direction.
“Of course. They’re the most prestigious investment group outside the States.” Her hands fisted in her lap as she blinked through the smoke. He nodded.
“Well, and keep this under wraps, if you don’t mind- they’ve expressed some interest in Dynatox. The only problem is that, being a Japanese company, they’re a lot more… traditional than what we’re used to. They have a lot of antiquated ideals when it comes to morals and values and all that jazz- plus the board members have it in their heads that I’m unstable; a loose cannon, if you will, and so they aren’t entirely comfortable handing me a bunch of their money. We’ve been courting them for months with everything we’ve got, but no luck yet.” He paused, temporarily setting the cigar down to smolder in the ashtray.
“I also don’t suppose you know a woman by the name of Alicia Harlow?” Though he paced back and forth, his gaze remained steadily on hers.
“No,” she shook her head, proud of herself for how she kept his eye contact unflinchingly. She watched as something not only in his eyes, but his entire expression changed, becoming shadowed. He briefly pursed his lips, glancing toward the floor, and shifted his lower jaw.
“Well, not only is she AllNation Insurance’s heir apparent, but she and I also used to go out. This was a couple of years ago, at this point, but she and I had a pretty messy split. We’ve maintained an acquaintance with each other because it benefits us both for our companies to work together. Of course, since she is an important business partner and she’ll be in town this winter, she is invited to this year’s Christmas gala.”
Silver finally ceased his pacing, leaning over his desk with his hands on the tabletop. He smiled ruefully.
“But it still hurts me to think of her, much less talk to her… this December will be the first time I have to see her in-person since we broke up, and she’s bringing her fiancé… Meanwhile, I think I’ll cut a pretty pathetic figure if I’m there by myself or with one of the random women I could pick up between now and then.”
“Excuse me, Mr. Silver, but I’m just confused what all of this has to do with me.” Valerie felt a headache coming on- whether it was from the smoke, missing valuable work time to listen to whatever point Mr. Silver was trying to make (so much for meeting that deadline), or merely being in his presence at all, she wasn’t sure.
“I guess I should get to that. Of course; you don’t want to hear my sob story,” he acknowledged, chuckling self-deprecatingly. “Valerie, I’d like you to pretend to be my girlfriend. Now, listen, before you say no: it would just be for a couple of months, and it would mean a lot to the company, and to me, for two reasons. First, and most importantly, if I can clean up my image- and being with one reasonably well-adjusted woman consistently for, well, longer than a week, let’s be honest- it would go a long way in the department of making me look more stable and whatever the hell else Kimura is so interested in. Then, the chances of them investing in Dynatox go up exponentially.”
He slid back into his desk chair so that he was close to and directly across from her. “It would be so good for the company and everyone who works here would benefit. Plus, and this would just be an added bonus on top of that, but I would be able to show Alicia that I’m doing well for myself without her and I’ve moved on. The breakup was really tough on me and it was hard to get over her, but I don’t want her to think she destroyed me, y’know?” He toyed with the signet ring on his right hand.
“But… why me, though? I’m sure you know plenty of other women who could do a better job than me.” Valerie eyed him incredulously, eyebrows knitted to a level she had never before reached.
“Don’t sell yourself short, Valerie. You may not be built like a model, but you’re decently attractive, and you’ve got a lot of things that most of the other women I know don’t.”
Valerie had to keep her mouth from falling open at the underhanded compliment, her incredulous look intensifying as Silver continued, seemingly obliviously, onward.
“You work hard at everything you put your mind to, and you’re trustworthy. This would be a challenging project that would require the utmost discretion. You’re also not currently seeing anyone, and besides, you work in public relations- you specialize in bullshit. You put on a show for a living.”
As much as Valerie was stunned, she was also intrigued by this extremely unusual proposal. Even if she was undoubtably going to say no, it didn’t hurt to find out more just to satisfy her curiosity. One thing that bothered her, however, was how did he know that she was single?
Speaking slowly, she asked: “When you say ‘pretend to be your girlfriend,’ what exactly would that entail?”
“Well, it would mean accompanying me to various events, posing in front of the media, and of course, a lot of play-acting on both our parts. I know it’s not in your job description, but I’m willing to make it very worth your while. How does it sound if I double your end-of-year bonus? Does that sound like a pretty sweet deal?”
Valerie was no longer able to keep her mouth from falling open. That kind of money was enough to make her sincerely rethink and consider his offer.
Outlandish and downright unbelievable as it was, the idea of leaving her cramped old apartment and living in an area of town where she didn’t have to constantly look over her shoulder was inviting. And, being able to show that achievement off to her doubtful family and friends back home… Silver wasn’t the only one interested in stirring up some feelings of regret. Still, this would require substantial commitment, in more ways than one. The idea of spending large amounts of time with him, let alone pretending to be affectionate toward him and having people think they were intimate with each other… Silver certainly noticed her face turning red now.
“Mr. Silver, I...”
“It would just be until the Kimura deal is resolved and the Christmas gala is over. Shouldn’t be more than a couple of months. After that, once Kimura is up to their ass in contractual obligations and Ms. Harlow thinks I’m the one that got away, we can easily taper things off and our ‘relationship’ can die a discreet and mysterious death.” His tone was so nonchalant, it was like he was discussing any everyday business deal.
“I… I don’t know…”
“I want you to think about it.” He reached his hand halfway across his desk in a reassuring gesture. “I need an answer soon, but not right away. It’s an odd request, to put it lightly; I’ll admit it.” He chuckled to himself again with a self-conscious smile. “It would be some extra work, of course, and sometimes it might be a little awkward, so if you agree I want you to really have considered it. But just try to think of it as a special work assignment. I would be eternally grateful. Do you think you can get back to me by, say, this time tomorrow?”
“Um… y-yes, sure.” Valerie’s own voice sounded to her ears like it was coming from some other person. She couldn’t believe what she had just said, but comforted herself that all she had agreed to do was think about it, which was the polite thing to do, anyway. She could refuse Silver’s offer tomorrow, letting him believe that she had at least carefully considered it before shooting it down.
“Great,” he replied, flashing his typical bright, expansive smile this time. Rising from his seat again, he guided her to the door as she walked stiffly in its direction. “Well, when you have your answer, just swing back by my office.” He placed one of his large hands on her shoulder, opening his office door with the other. “Thank you so much for your time.”
As she padded back to her desk, Valerie didn’t notice Silver snatch his cigar back out of the ashtray. Reclining back into his chair, legs crossed over the desk once more, he blew a smoke ring after her as she walked away. It was as if he was trying to rope her in with it so he could devour her.
Valerie sat back down at her own desk, her thoughts and everything around her seeming like they were hazed over. All she could think to herself at first was What the absolute hell was that? Who, besides cartoonish movie villains, thinks up a crazy scheme like that? And it would only be crazier for her to accept it.
But then there was, perhaps, the craziest part of all, which was also the most intriguing- the money. And sure, Valerie could understand the importance of getting Kimura to invest in Dynatox. She could also understand even more clearly the desire to prove people wrong and make them regret the things they said about you; Silver’s insecurity had finally humanized the larger-than-life, seemingly all-powerful, and invulnerable figure to her. If it was in fact true, it was hidden behind thick layers of pride, but maybe- just maybe- she had been wrong about him.
But the idea of proving her family and friends back home wrong, and even making them feel proud of her and proud to know her, was tempting. And the same went for those she had met in California- she knew that many of the people around her either looked down on or pitied her with her final-sale clothes and small apartment, while most of them wore the latest fashions and owned their own property. It would be nice to finally be seen as an equal.
Earning that extra money, and the increased security and status that would come with it, could really help her on her way to finally making some kind of mark on the world. If that journey had to start with pretending to be Terry Silver’s girlfriend, well, it could definitely be worse. How bad could it be, really? Mingle at an event here and there, call him “baby,” hold his hand and smile? Maybe have to kiss him a couple of times? If he could somehow keep his mouth shut over the entire next few months, it would really be all too easy.
Silver’s obnoxious personality and the fact that this all seemed too good to be true were what really stood in her way. Double her bonus, just to essentially play pretend for a couple of months? And speaking of pretend, two could play at that game. Where had this previously unseen sensitive and vulnerable side of his come from? She thought she had detected him flirting with her in the past, and for the briefest moment, she entertained the thought that this was all just some bizarre, elaborate plan to get her into bed with him.
But that thought almost immediately evaporated- while he might possibly want her just for the sake of being able to say he’d had her, Valerie doubted that he would go to such lengths to do so. As one of the most successful men in the country, Terry Silver could easily have his pick of the most desirable women out there. It must have to do purely with her other qualifications, like he’d said. The general word on the street must be true- Mr. Silver was just a very strange man.
While Valerie was attempting to parse through all of these lines of thought, her work friends had clustered around her as soon as she sat down. Without even bothering to hide their curiosity and concern, they immediately peppered her with questions about what Mr. Silver wanted and whether anything was wrong- after all, it was highly unusual to be called into his office like that. But Valerie managed to play it cool, eyes either glued to her computer or glancing innocently wide as she reassured them that he merely wanted to check in on the status of their project because it was so important. Having made it clear, by typing all the while, that she wanted to focus on her work, her friends soon lost interest and filtered away to their respective desks. Valerie was relieved it had worked, because, despite the calm and work-focused act, it was hard to concentrate the rest of the day.
Perfect, Terry thought to himself as he observed. She was going to be an even better actress than he’d anticipated.
~
It wasn’t merely at work where Valerie had trouble concentrating. Despite her best efforts, she continued to think about the meeting with Mr. Silver all evening- while she cooked and had dinner, while she showered, and as she fell asleep- she even dreamed about it.
She certainly didn’t enjoy having Terry Silver occupy that much of her mind, but what was worse was how, as the hours went on, the deal began to look more and more tempting. When was an opportunity like this going to come up again? Besides, she thought, it could be fun having some occasions to get dolled up; pretend like she wasn’t single and her life was far more interesting than it really was.
By the end of the following workday, she had made up her mind. In actuality, she had made her decision that morning, but it took most of the day to convince her body to cooperate with her mind and carry her into Silver’s office to tell him.
An hour before business drew to its daily close, the same time as yesterday, Valerie had finally sorted out what she wanted to say to the best of her ability and scrounged up the gumption to enter Silver’s office. She entered without knocking and he looked up, telephone receiver to his ear, briefly glaring daggers until he registered that it was Valerie who had interrupted.
“Yeah. Yeah, listen- I’ll call you back. I said I’ll call you back.” He hung up, his eyes softening and posture relaxing, though inside he was fuming that she’d not only interrupted him but also made him wait this long to give her answer. Nothing like waiting for the last minute. She’s really relishing this, huh? He thought. You think it’s fun to get under my skin, babydoll? You want to make me squirm? Just wait until the tables are turned on you… But he bit all trace of this back, greeting her with merely a welcoming smile.
“Mr. Silver, I’ve made up my mind,” she declared before he had a chance to make even a cursory greeting. She hadn’t meant to burst in quite so unceremoniously, but she had started the luge- there was no getting off the sled now.
“Wonderful, of course, come in,” he replied, gesturing her closer. She closed the door without being asked this time. “Sit down.”
Too concentrated on how to deliver what she was about to say, his words did not register with Valerie and she continued to stand awkwardly.
“Mr. Silver,” she repeated.
“Yes?” he lightly tapped his desk with a pen as it was becoming difficult for him to conceal his impatience.
She drew in a breath. “I understand how significant a deal with Kimura would be for everyone at this company and I don’t want to stand in the way of that- I would like to help if I can. But while I can sympathize with the situation with Ms. Harlow, honestly, your personal life is not really my concern and I’m still a bit confused how I’m the supposed best fit for that role...”
“I appreciate your honesty.”
Valerie couldn’t tell if his tone was meant to be sarcastic or genuine. Either way, she realized that she did not want to show weakness; she needed to appear confident, lest he begin to see things from her point of view as well and change his mind, meaning all of this thought and discussion would be embarrassingly all for nothing. Plus, she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her rattled. Speaking more forcefully and clasping her hands in front of her, she continued:
“...Like any other assignment, I would be prepared to give it my all and your belief would not be misplaced…”
“Ms. Clancy, I just need a yes or a no.” He said, his face and body language cool and motionless apart from raising his eyebrows.
“Yes. I accept,” she blurted out at last.
Silver’s level expression broke into a wide grin as he exclaimed “Oh, that’s great-”
“-But I have conditions,” she attempted to reel his enthusiasm back in, uncomfortable with how gleeful the news had made him. “I want to be compensated very well. I’m not ashamed to tell you that my main interest in this is for the money.”
Silver’s delighted expression and tone went unbothered by her gravity. He tossed aside the pen that had been clasped triumphantly in his fist. “You’ll get double your bonus, as promised. It’ll be in your bank account the second the last guest leaves the gala.”
“And I want it in writing.”
“Smart woman,” Silver nodded approvingly. “I just so happen to already have a contract drawn up.” He swiveled in his chair, snatching up a paper from the table behind his desk. “It’s basic, but it will do. I’ve already had my secretary notarize it.”
Valerie studied the signature at the bottom of the page that read “Margaret Spencer” in neat cursive. While Silver’s foresight made things efficient, she was irritated that he had assumed she would say yes.
“And we can’t take it too far.” She made her final, perhaps most important demand. “With the public affection.”
“Would you like me to draw up a contract for that, too? Hand-holding acceptable, no heavy petting or kissing with tongue?” He chuckled, meeting her solemn gaze with a mocking glint. She reddened, but did not flinch.
“That won’t be necessary. I just want to set expectations. After all, at the end of the day, I don’t care how much you’re paying me- I’m a businesswoman, not an actress or an escort. There are certain boundaries we can’t cross.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Silver assured her, like he was ever the gentleman. Inside, he looked forward to when he would indeed cross every single one.
Terry didn’t appreciate her thinking she could order him around. He kept his outward composure, but he knew that a long and aggressive karate training session was going to be in order when he arrived home that evening.
 “I guess it’s settled, then.” He clapped his hands together. “Good. Now, I believe I made it clear yesterday that time is not on our side here. We’ll have to start planning and preparing this weekend, so you’ll have to cancel any plans. I’ll have a car sent to pick you up and take you to my place Saturday morning.”
“Mr. Silver, you don’t need to do that-” Valerie protested, not wanting to feel like a charity case or to be more obligated to him than she already was.
“-Of course not.” He waved his hand dismissively. “But it’s my pleasure, and it’s easier than giving you directions and getting you through security. Is 10 AM too early?”
“Not at all.” She paused, not sure how to respond to this new barrage of unusual requests and information. “Should I… bring anything?”
He chuckled. “No. But Valerie, you should start calling me Terry.”
“Alright… Terry.” The syllables felt foreign on her tongue, but not entirely repulsive.
“Maybe not around the office,” he added, “In the interest of maintaining some façade of professionalism, but of course, the lines are going to start to blur…”
“Of course,” she nodded, adjusting her glasses.
“I really can’t tell you how thankful I am.” Although she was still standing, he leaned in, voice lowered. “Regardless of whatever your reasons are, you’re helping me out a lot. More than you know.” He paused and they merely held silent eye contact for a moment. He was impressed by how long she returned his stare, but was pleased when she eventually was the first to break the contact and glance uncomfortably at the wall behind him.
“Well, until Saturday. I’ll see you bright and early.”
“Mr. Silver.” She nodded again, this time in farewell, stepping out of his office as suddenly as she had come in.
As she wrapped up her work for the day, Valerie felt weird and inexplicably dirty. She tried to focus on the money and everything she would be able to do with it. She told herself that she was just doing him a favor and being nice. It was just an extra work task. But she couldn’t shake the feeling of what the hell have I done?
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ladysophiebeckett · 1 year ago
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marcela does a lot of cruel things throughout the series but i think her true moment of traditional telenovela villainy is that dinner she has with margarita and patricia, (the day betty gets made president) where she basically states 'yeah i know armando is still in love with her and i know beatriz is still in love with him but she believes everything in the letter and she has no way to disprove it. and armando has no witnesses to speak on his favor.'
and she's very smug about it:
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in marcela's head she believes the only one she's really hurting by withholding this information is beatriz, how armando feels is not even much of an afterthought. marcela puts herself and her needs first. which is understandable. she has no incentive to help beatriz and why would she? she sees beatriz as the reason why her relationship with armando deteriorated even tho it's actually more complicated than that.
of course armando knows he doesn't have witnesses or anything to prove that in middle of everything he did truly fall in love with her and he's not going to ask anyone for help. mario offers to talk to her (tho not seriously) and even patricia says mario could tell betty the truth but marcela knows betty would never believe the author of the letter.
her only goal is to keep armando by her side. i dont know if she knows that she's hurting him or if she justifies her own actions as a consequence of his past actions towards her. or maybe its something she knows she's doing but doesn't care. (im gonna let the audience decide that bc im not even sure how i feel about that).
we see armando go through hell after betty disappears but when she returns he never once thinks to tell her about what exactly happened after she went away. he only says 'all the damage i did to myself' but never elaborates and betty never asks. it's deliberate that armando never tells her about his state of mind during that period of time bc he knows that to do so would be seen as a form of manipulation. that's not how you prove to someone that you've changed. and that's aside from him knowing that she would never believe him. (bc we know she wouldn't). he loves betty and although he's not yet at the point of truly understanding just how much pain and damage he's caused her, he would never want her to take him back bc she feels sorry for him.
meanwhile, way before the truth of the embargo happens, marcela tells him she would never survive him ending their engagement. that it would just as bad as when her parents died.
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his face is immediately affected and she knows. she knows that the only way to keep him is through manipulation. and later on, participating in the act of withholding information that could help him, but again she doesn't see it as helping him. and never actually does. when she gives beatriz this information, it's actually in her attempt to save the company her father co founded. bc up until the last minute she was still holding out hope that betty's indifference to armando would push him back to her. not understanding that armando's changed indefinitely. he's not going to be manipulated by her again and he's not going to stoop to his past behaviors bc it never did him or anyone any good to begin with.
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jessybarnes · 1 year ago
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Something New
Ship - Cockles - Single!Jensen x Single!Misha
Rating - 18+ Only! Minors DNI!!
Tags - Sexuality struggles, First-time m/m sex, anal fingering, anal sex, rimming, oral (male receiving), mentions of coming out, mentions of not being accepted, anxiety, angst, fluff, smut, comfort, drinking, cursing, NSFW title banner, seriously if you're a minor go away!
Word Count - 3800 ish
Beta - Just Grammarly and Me
Fic Aesthetic - Yours truly
A/N - This is a repost from my old Tumblr account. I am in the process of transferring all of my fics over to this blog. I hope you enjoy. :)
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Misha flirted a lot. Everyone knew this and accepted it as a part of his outgoing nature. Jensen, on the other hand, still hadn't grown accustomed to the lingering touches and longing stares from his best friend. It wasn't that it made him uncomfortable, no it was very much the opposite. 
He tried to ignore the way his heart sped up every time Misha's fingers grazed his skin or the way he held him when they would hug, but it was impossible. Jensen didn't want to admit it. He was supposed to be straight, find a nice woman, and give his Mother and Father the grandkids they wanted. Instead, he was having an internal battle with his mind on whether or not his male co-star was hot. 
Jensen sighed and rubbed at his temples lightly. Currently, he was reading over the newest script for one of the upcoming episodes. People probably thought that playing Dean should have come to him naturally by now since he played him on TV for the better part of thirteen years. Sometimes it was more complicated than just 'getting into character' though. 
Certain scenes, much like the one he was reading now, involved Cas and Dean staring into each other's eyes for a longer than normal period of time. That part didn't bother him as much. It was the stage direction that was written in the script. Of course, he didn't write the script or the stage directions so he didn't really have much of a say in how their characters did things. 
Jensen stared down at the off-white paper. His eyes re-reading the same bold print that menacingly stared back up at him. 
INT. THE BUNKER, DAY There's tension between Dean and Cas from a previous argument.  They eye fuck for approx. 30-45 seconds until Sam clears his throat to get their attention.
He swallowed thickly wishing the direction would change, probably for the umpteenth time now. 
Couldn't they have picked a better way to word this?
A sudden knock at his trailer door made him jump. He tossed the script onto his coffee table before walking across the room to unlock it. The familiar silhouette of Jared should have put his mind at ease, but he knew his best friend of so many years would notice something was bothering him. Deciding there was no point in avoiding the inevitable, he flung open the door to let him in. 
"Hey, Jare"
Jared walked up the two stairs into Jensen's trailer and plopped down on his sectional. 
"You're awfully quiet today, Jay. What's going on?"
Jensen sighed, running a hand across his face. Good thing he hadn't been to hair and makeup yet. He didn't wanna piss anyone off this early in the day. Grabbing two beers, he tossed one to Jared and sat down. 
"I don't really wanna talk about it. Not like there's anything anyone can do about it anyway."
He took a long pull of his beer while Jared studied him. He watched Jensen's eyes glance at the stapled packet of papers quickly before focusing on the view from the window. 
"It's something from today's shoot isn't it, Jay?"
Jared picked up the papers and leaned back against the couch. Jensen didn't try and stop him, but he didn't elaborate either. He just sat and watched as the taller Texan read over the page he'd been mulling over a few minutes ago. 
"I don't see anything wrong wi-"
Jared stopped mid-sentence and turned to look at Jensen. He scooted slightly closer and pointed to the middle of the page. 
"It's the 'eye fucking' part isn't it?"
Jensen looked away, picking at a loose string in the hem of his jeans. The beer bottle rested loosely against his lips as he took another swig.
"Jensen, you should really tell him, you know."
It was a miracle the beer didn't come out his nose. It took him a minute to stop choking and gain his breath back. A blush crept up the side of his neck as he looked down at his lap. 
"I don't know what you're talking about, Jared."
Once again the script was tossed carelessly on the coffee table. Jared scoffed and rolled his eyes. 
"Oh c'mon, Jay! You can't possibly think I believe you. I know how you feel about Mish, and I think you do, too. It's okay to admit that you got a thing for him, and frankly, I think you should talk to him about it. I mean look at it this way, how many times have we told fans that it's okay to be yourself. Love is love, and honestly, I think Misha feels the same way."
Jensen let out a defeated sigh. He should have known better. He and Jared can read each other like a book, and sometimes that wasn't necessarily a good thing. 
"I can't tell him, Jared. I'm not supposed to feel things like this for another man. My parents didn't bring me up this way. I'm just going to grin and bear it until we get through shooting this. I'm an actor. I can just push my feelings aside until this is all over with." 
Jared set his bottle down and repositioned himself so he was facing him. Jensen looked miserable. He was clearly stressing way too much over this. He was pale and dark circles lingered under his eyes from lack of sleep.
"Jay, that's bullshit and you know it! You can't control the way you feel for someone. It doesn't matter how your parents wanted you to turn out. What does matter is who you want to be. If the real you is attracted to both men and women, then so be it. If your Mom and Dad can't accept you for who you are, then they aren't taking your best interest to heart."
Jensen rested his head in his hands and shook his head. 
"Even if they miraculously accept the fact that I have a crush on Mish, how the hell am I going to tell him? I have no idea how I'll get the words out, let alone bring it up."
Jared stood up and walked toward the liquor cabinet. He pulled a bottle of Crown Royal from the top shelf and blew the dust off. 
“Sounds like you could use some stronger liquid courage.”
Now it was Jensen’s turn to scoff. He watched as Jared grabbed two glasses from one of the cabinets and put a couple cubes of ice in them. 
“I can’t shoot these scenes drunk off my ass Jared. Bob will have my head.”
If Jared heard him, he didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, he focused on pouring them each a glass. Handing one to Jensen, he sat back down and sipped at it slowly. After a minute of looking between his glass and his best friend, he sighed and licked his lips. 
“Ah, what the hell, why not? Gotta get through today’s shooting somehow.”
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Forty-five minutes later everyone was on the Bunker set setting up for the next scene. The crew was getting the lighting perfected while the director, who just happened to be none other than Richard Speight Jr., conversed with Misha across the room. Jensen shifted his weight nervously and tried to look anywhere else. His eyes kept finding their way back to him though. 
Even though their characters wore layers upon layers of clothing, Jensen could still tell Misha had been working out. His thighs were well defined in the black slacks, how the tan fabric of Castiel’s trench coat hugged his biceps made his mouth water and the way his hair was tousled sent image after naughty image through his mind. 
Jensen bit his lip and looked away. There was no way he was surviving this scene. Misha had him hook, line, and sinker, and the way things were looking he was going to end up walking off the set before they had a usable take. Before he was able to dwell on it any longer, fingers snapped in his face bringing him back to reality. 
“Hellooo! Jensen? You okay man? We’re ready to start, but if you need a minute we-”
Jensen pushed past Rich and stood on his mark that was taped to the floor. 
“I’m good. Let’s get this over with.”
Misha studied him, his piercing cerulean eyes making him shiver. Jared walked around the table and sat in front of the open laptop. Things were eerily quiet between the three of them. Normally, they would be joking around until the moment action was called. 
Rich took a seat in the director's chair and looked through the camera one more time making sure the angle of the shot was right before turning his attention back to them. 
“Roll sound!”
One of the crew members came in with a slate board and held it in front of the camera. 
“Supernatural scene thirty-two, take one! Marker!”
Rich took a deep breath and crossed one leg over the other. He knew this was an intense scene so he was mentally preparing himself to do more than one take. 
“Action!”
Misha walked around the table holding a tattered old book. Jensen eyed him furiously as he snatched it out of his hand. 
“Dammit Cas! I know we needed this book, but I told you not to do anything stupid!”
Misha tilted his head sideways, narrowing his eyes. The hand that was holding the book now rested rigidly at his side, his fingers curled into a fist. 
“Dean, this was probably our only chance for us to get this book! I took a chance and brought it back unharmed. I did it for you! You want to save your brother don’t you?”
Jensen slammed the book on the table a little too hard causing Jared to jump. It wasn’t in the script, but no one said anything so he continued with his line. 
“You could have waited for Sammy and me! We could have gone and got it together. Cas, you could have gotten yourself killed man! When are you gonna learn that you’re our family Cas? Family sticks together. Sammy needs you ... I need you. 
Misha stepped slightly closer to Jensen and lifted those ocean eyes up to his green ones. Jensen was shaking. Whether it was with rage or nervousness he didn’t know, but he had to finish this scene. He couldn’t do this more than once. His eyes flitted down to Misha’s mouth just as his tongue came out to wet his lips, and dammit if he didn’t feel his cock twitch. He couldn’t do this. He needed to get out of there. Just as he was about to storm off to the confines of his trailer, Jared cleared his throat. 
“Guys … get this! So, the writings in this book are apparently a dead language! There’s some sort of codex that requires piecing together, but I think I can crack it if I can just get past this encrypted file.”
“Cut!”
Rich stood up and rubbed his hands together. 
“That was great guys! Very well done with the dynamics. Oh! Nice touch with making Jared jump Jay. His face was priceless! I’m recommending that one for the gag reel.”
Jensen wasn’t listening. He was still staring at Misha, who was now taking off Cas’ tan coat. He watched as his back muscles flexed under his white button-up, and immediately felt his mouth go dry. He couldn’t stand in the same space as his co-star any longer. It was too much. Everyone watched as he took off towards his trailer. Anything was better than feeling this way in his opinion.
“Jensen? You sure you’re feeling okay? You look a little flushed. Hey! Jens- Where are you going? We gotta do another take. Jensen?!”
Once he was back behind his trailer door he immediately stripped off all his clothes and tossed them in a pile. Nothing sounded more appealing than a cold shower. He relished the feeling of the cool spray as it cascaded down his body. Jensen propped his arm against the shower wall and rested his head against it. He needed to figure out how to suppress his feelings because he didn’t think he could go through this every day. 
Ten minutes later he cut the water off and shoved the shower curtain back. Jensen shivered as water droplets clung to his skin. He wrapped one of his burgundy towels around his waist and padded back into his kitchen to grab another beer. 
“Hey Jens.”
He didn’t expect to hear another voice coming from his living room area, and he definitely didn’t expect it to be Misha’s. He nearly jumped out of his skin as he whirled around. 
“Jesus, Mish! What the hell?!”
Misha stood and walked across the room not stopping until he was mere inches from him. Jensen swallowed thickly looking down at the neck of the beer bottle to try and distract himself. 
“Why are you avoiding me, Jay? Jared says you’re not, but I can tell you are. You’ve barely said two words to me today other than when we filmed that scene. Even then, I could tell something was wrong. You rarely break character.”
Jensen shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. 
“Mish I … It’s not that simple. Y-You didn’t do anything wrong … I just … I can’t do this.”
Misha grabbed his arm before he could get away and pressed him against the wall. The way Jensen’s breath hitched didn’t go unnoticed by him, and that only confirmed his suspicions. 
“Can’t do what Jay?”
Jensen inhaled sharply, the smell of Misha’s cologne nearly making him moan.
“Wha - What are you doing?!”
Misha rested a hand on Jensen’s chest. The water droplets still lingered and he could feel the rapid beat of his heart against his palm. 
“Shh. Just relax Jay. Just let go.”
Jensen closed his eyes, shuddering under the warmth of his fingertips. 
“I - I don’t know what you’re ta-”
Before he could finish his sentence Misha’s lips were on his. For a split second, all Jensen could do was stand there. Eventually, he threw caution to the wind and began to kiss him back. His lips were pillow-soft and he tasted of spearmint. It was intoxicating, and it only made Jensen more dizzy with want. 
Misha tilted his head and licked at Jensen’s bottom lip requesting permission. He granted him access without hesitation groaning as he licked into his mouth. Misha’s knee pressed between his thigh forcing the towel around his waist to come loose. The friction against his dick along with Misha’s perfect lips kissing and licking along his pulse point became his undoing. Jensen wasted no more time contemplating whether he was making a big mistake or not. The hottest man he’d ever laid eyes on was bringing him pleasure he’d never felt before, and he intended on returning it tenfold. 
“Unngh M-Mish… fuck…”
A low growl came from Jensen’s throat as he maneuvered them toward the hallway. His towel lay forgotten on the floor, his hands finding refuge in Misha’s short dark locks. He tore at the slightly shorter man’s shirt trying desperately to remove it. Buttons littered the small space scattering in different directions when it wouldn’t come off fast enough. Misha chuckled and brought Jensen’s head down for another bruising kiss. 
“Wardrobe is gonna be pissed you know. That was one of Castiel’s only clean white shirts.”
Jensen worked at his belt and wasted no time in shoving Misha’s slacks down his legs. His mouth watered at the sight of his tented boxers, a noticeable wet spot becoming more prominent from his arousal. 
“Don’t care. Wardrobe can take it outta my pay. Need you too bad.”
Misha knew how reserved Jensen was, and the fact that he was unable to speak in full sentences and was on the verge of losing control was by far the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Slowly Misha sank to his knees and looked up at Jensen through his long lashes. He wetted his lips placing open-mouthed kisses on his thighs. Jensen whimpered shamelessly when Misha licked a long stripe up the underside of his cock. Before he could process what was happening, Misha took him deep into his mouth and didn’t stop until he hit the back of his throat. 
“F-Fuck! Christ, Misha... “ 
Misha couldn’t get enough of how Jensen tasted. It reminded him of sandalwood and old spice. He stripped off his boxers and began palming his cock, moaning at the way Jensen was coming undone by his mouth alone. 
“Fuck Jay, you taste so good. Wanna feel you cum baby. Wanna taste every last drop of that sweet nectar.”
Jensen was so close he could taste it. The heat coiled in his lower belly, and his hands instinctively came out to grasp the back of Misha’s head. His rhythmic thrusts soon became more erratic as the first waves of his orgasm washed over him. 
“Oh fuck! Mish I’m gonna… fuck I-I’m gon- ah!!!”
Jensen watched as Misha swallowed around him making sure not to miss a single drop. He stood, pressing his lean body against his, leaving a trail of kisses along his jaw. 
“Such a good boy Jay. You taste so good too.”
Jensen’s breathing was ragged as he came down from his high. His eyes were closed and his cock was still rock hard. He was a goddamn goner. Never in his life had he come that hard, not until Misha anyway. 
Mere minutes later, Jensen was sprawled out on his bed. Misha was rooting around in his drawers for something, and soon he realized what it was. His eyes went wide at the small bottle of lube and the predatory look in his co-star’s eyes. 
“Mish, I… I’ve never…”
Misha silenced him with a sweet kiss on his lips. 
“I know baby, don’t worry okay? I’m gonna make sure you’re nice and prepared for me. Gonna make you feel so good, Jay. Can’t wait to hear those pretty moans you'll make just for me.”
The sound of the bottle cap opening filled the room and soon Misha was coating his fingers with the shiny liquid. He leaned his body over Jensen’s, resting his weight on one arm. The other slid between his bow legs finding his entrance with ease. Jensen sucked in a breath as Misha pressed one digit against his opening. 
“Shh, baby you gotta relax for me. Just breathe, Jay. Let me in and I’ll show you how good it feels.”
Jensen opened his eyes and was met with Misha’s lust-blown ones. He let out a shaky breath, and let his mouth fall open as Misha eased in his finger. He eased it in and out slowly creating a steady rhythm. It wasn’t painful, but it was definitely foreign. Soon Misha slid in another finger and curled them upwards searching out his prostate. He knew he’d found it when Jensen’s back arched off the bed and the prettiest moan he’d ever heard fell from his lips. 
“Mmmm, Jay… I wanna taste you. Get on all fours baby. Gonna show you how good it feels to be worshiped.”
Jensen flipped over on his belly and gripped his pillow. Misha hooked his fingertips into the place where his thighs met his hips and pulled him so his ass was presented to him nicely. 
“So beautiful... “
Misha placed a hand on each side of his ass and spread him open. Jensen dipped his head low and groaned when he felt the wetness of Misha’s tongue against his hole lapping at him repeatedly. He could feel the familiar heat in his core and began fisting his cock furiously. 
“Oh God… Mish! Please… p-please need to feel you…”
Misha pulled away, his chin glistening with saliva. He turned Jensen over so he was laying on his back again. He pushed two fingers back inside him and began to scissor him open gently. His mouth leaving love bites along Jensen’s inner thighs. 
“Gotta get you ready for me baby. Don’t wanna hurt you any more than necessary.”
Soon Misha was three fingers deep and Jensen was wantonly meeting every thrust. He could almost cum like this. Watching his best friend coming undone by his hands alone. It was almost too much. 
“Please f-fuck me… please! Need you. Fuck Misha please!”
Misha removed his fingers and slicked his cock up with lube. He once again leaned over Jensen and captured their lips in a heated kiss. He knew this would hurt, so he did his best to distract him from the pain. Pressing firmly against his tight hole, he sheathed himself inside him. Both of them moaned obscenely at the sensation, and Misha tried not to cum at the way Jensen’s muscles squeezed him deliciously. After a few seconds, he felt the Texan’s nails scrape bluntly against his chest. 
“Fuck me Mish… Wanna feel everything you’ve got.”
Misha growled and pulled out almost completely, before slamming back into him. Jensen threw his head back and gripped the sheets, not caring that his sinful moans filled his trailer. They built up a steady pace, and both were well aware that people walking by could tell what was going on. Soon Misha’s brutal thrusts became more sporadic. His forehead rested against Jensen’s as his cock pounded him, brushing against his prostate over and over again. 
“Fuck Mish, You’re gonna make me cum again… c’mon baby, fill me up. Wanna feel you cum inside me. Fuck baby, just like that...Oh, God!”
Misha swallowed his moans with a heated kiss. Jensen could feel his second orgasm of the day approaching as Misha continued to fuck into him. He began to stroke his cock feverishly, his ass tight around Misha’s dick as the first spurts of white coated his belly. 
“F-FUCK MISHA!!” 
Misha wasn’t far behind, filling him up, as he felt Jensen’s cum coat their chests. They stayed like that, breath heavy, and beads of sweat covering their bodies. Slowly Misha pulled out and grabbed the nearest article of clothing to clean them up. 
He climbed back on the bed and laid next to Jensen nuzzling into his neck. He felt the warmth of his arms snake around his torso and held him close. 
“Fuck, that was amazing..” Jensen purred. 
Misha peppered kisses along his pulse point and raked his nails lightly down his back. 
“You did so well for your first time, Jay. I’m so proud of you. Took me so well.” Misha said tiredly.
Jensen felt his breathing even out, and soon light snores fell from his lips. It was hard to believe how fast he was falling for this man, but he couldn’t wait to see where they’d take their newfound relationship. Whatever happened, he knew he would be along for the ride
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taexual · 1 year ago
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im getting real tired of oc acting like she has everything under control and is this amazing manger when all she does is order people around and can’t be serious when it comes to confrontations. i mean she yells and questions others for their behavior but they have to draw the line when it comes to her? that’s hypocritical. her saying that she was hiding behind the bet and only bc she was scared of jungkook‘s feelings being real is and was obvious from the very beginning but she also lied to herself again i mean let’s wake it up right?
how come YOU work with your ex boyfriend that is in a band that YOU are the manager of and allow YOURSELF to work with when YOU act like YOU don’t care about him, while YOU also try to control him for petty sht that has mostly to 65% nothing to do with the work environment. she always wants others to give her time and let her get her thoughts right before she has to talk but others for example jungkook has always an ultimatum like what is wrong with her and her entire mental health atp? im on jungkooks side with, that yes i as a reader am tired too if her acting like she doesn’t want to be with him when that’s all she wants but she‘s selfish (in my opinion no shade) bc she wants to see him beg a little more to avoid a) the confrontation about their fucked up relationship that happened from both sides and b) bc it makes her feel worthy of something again bc he didn’t care about her enough in those 4 years he was with others right? then yeah i wouldn’t give my time and energy to get that kind of person back and not bc jungkook wants to be better for her he needs to be better for himself and her never giving him that reassurance is unfair and disgusting bc she can want that from him right?
like i seriously need people like her to just either be direct or get out of that persons life forever. she sees that jungkook has other SERIOUS issues like his mental health and addiction to always downgrade himself as not worthy for any-little-thing but all she focuses on is „omg u did a bet now i can’t be with you and also bc nick wants me on the renaissance tour so ughhh idk everything is so heavy and omg i fainted am having so much stress ugh:((„ like shut the fuck up. she knew what she was getting into when she signed the contract for being a manager could she know how much stress she was getting into? no but that’s no here or there bc she allowed herself to not have a break that is on nobody but herself.
i have so much to discuss about her character but i really don’t want to just know that im tired of her and also thank you for writing something that’s truly new and fresh! i like this story it makes us think and have thoughts about the the chapters in general so yeah i hope you don’t get offended of how i view oc i don’t want to bash your characters ig it just that everyone has a different opinion in certain matters right? still thank you and have a great day! ☺️😊
omg babe you are having some very very interesting thoughts!!!! thank you for reading and for getting invested!!!!!!! 🥺🥺
the characters will have a discussion about a lot of the things that you mentioned soon--mostly in the next chapter--so i'm not going to elaborate much, but again, some very interesting points!! they are people with clear issues, and insecurities ranging from their past relationship to parental trauma to toxic friends. you know what i mean?? and i can't wait to show you what's nextttt!!!! 🤍🤍🤍
adding a spoiler bc i feel like it 🤌🏻
baby you said oc "can’t be serious when it comes to confrontations" and that is going to be one of the key plot points in the upcoming chapters!!!!
their whole relationship, they dealt with the chronic let's-not-talk-about-this illness, you know?? and jungkook is overcoming it! but now that's coming back to bite oc a little bit, because not only does she have to talk too, but she also has to face her demons from the broken relationship she had grown up in
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kiefbowl · 2 years ago
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Would you elaborate on why you don't ID as radical feminist? Is it the ideology or the label?
sure, a little bit. for one, I don't feel I've done enough work, either actively or through reading, to call myself that for one thing. You could go back through my blog from years ago and probably find younger me much more willing to use the term radfem on myself indiscriminately, but younger me was also engaging online in unhealthy ways and although I think I always engaged with feminist posts in good faith and was never lying, I definitely found a foothold on "radblr" (which I only use in quotes bc it's not a very well defined space) that I learned how to "game" for attention during my early twenties at a time I was really unhappy and struggling to find fulfillment in my life. And by saying that, I'm not trying to repent anything or even be overly critical of myself, I think that behavior online is common for younger people, and there's an addictive quality to tumblr. The point is, you can be savvy and learn the parlance of humor quickly, bang out posts to get attention, then feed off the praise and attract, what should we call them...crazy clowns? you can attract some crazy clowns that give you more material to work with, rinse repeat etc. I want to be honest about that time in my life with myself, be reflective, and say to myself "okay, I learned a lot then, I made mistakes, I wasn't always honest with myself...now I'm an adult and I get to treat this part of my life even more seriously" with "this part of my life" being intellectual feminism, not tumblr. I'm willing to see myself as a neophyte on certain topics much more comfortably than when I was 22 or 23 or 24, and do so publicly. Well, maybe I've never called myself a neophyte publicly before, and I can probably give myself a little more credit than that, but in any case I had to check my ego and in doing so ended up shedding the "online radfem" identity and persona.
This shift in perspective began to happen when I changed from @aawb to @kiefbowl, which wasn't something I was entirely aware of. When I made the change, I had put myself into a short but dangerous fling with a man who used meth. This man sexually assaulted me several times (doubt he released it), and then some intense drama happened around him and my job, and truly I just fell apart emotionally and mentally. It wasn't the first time I had been in a dangerous relationship with a man and sexually assaulted, but it was the first time I had seen first hand what meth addiction looks like (and sometimes it's boring, and sometimes it's very intense and scary), and it was the first time I was able to contextualize it differently due to exploring feminism. With that contextualization, I was able to re-evaluate so many previous experiences that were less intense but still assault. I spent many years on tumblr championing abused women, speaking to abused women, telling everyone it could be any one of us, the same tunes I sing now, but I had still been some-how blind that all this included me. The brain is strange. While in my despair and crisis, I realized "I really am just a young woman, I don't know anything." I was able to shed my forced certainty for curiosity.
It was also around this time the cluster B gang (seriously can't remember their URLs now) was in full swing and then had a big fall. I can't remember the details, I just remembered feel sour about it. I think I was just ready to grow up. Growing up is slow but I was ready to say "ah fuck it I don't know" and build from there, a bit of a clean slate sort of I guess. Less pressure to know everything and accept studying feminism takes time, dedication, like any other intellectual pursuit.
Hope that helps.
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transcendersmedia · 2 years ago
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Would you like being forced into a relationship?
When working on relation games, there are many things to take into consideration. I’ve already elaborated a little upon the fact that the choice of characters in relation games is very important, and will affect the players a lot.
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When working on those kinds of games I have asked myself questions, such as if players should get a wide variety of romanceable characters to choose from, and be able to shift the relationships according to their preferences, or if it sometimes makes sense to exhort players into having relationships they wouldn’t choose for themselves, to convey a specific story.
Through our experiences working on Knife Sisters, I’ve understood that, even though it’s absolutely doable to coerce players into things, it comes with a cost, and that’s what this post will be about (there will be some spoilers so read with caution).
The relationship between Leo and Dagger
We discovered that players can heavily object to being forced into relationships they haven’t chosen for themselves, if they do not enjoy these relationships. As I wrote in the last post, the storyline with Dagger is the main story in Knife Sisters. So what happens if you don’t like Dagger, and don’t like being subjected to her? It turns out that most of the ‘not recommended’ reviews on Steam mention not being able to opt out of the storyline and relationship with Dagger as something that negatively impacts the game.
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When I come across a bad review I generally react emotionally, I often avoid it by for instance skim-reading, and sometimes dismissing the information as not relevant (that’s a coping mechanism – it is really hard to handle when someone truly hates something you’ve tried to be careful about and have put so much effort into). But in this case something got me interested in what the players who objected strongly were actually experiencing – so I decided to take a little more note than I might otherwise do.
So this is from a really lengthy review by someone who disliked Knife Sisters immensely  – both because of how the game was designed, and how the characters were written and/or portrayed.
First and foremost, all dating sims have one thing in common: making you feel like you have a choice. This generally makes or breaks a dating sim, and in this case, it breaks it. This game makes you feel like the relationships you pick, are the ones you decided on. This is not the case at all. I will tell you the obvious now: Dagger is your girlfriend. These other characters? We don’t know them.
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The reviewer then discusses their emotions around having to always come back to Dagger, no matter how they feel about her:
Anyway, in all seriousness, I hate Dagger. I didn’t want to be with her at all, yet the story doesn’t progress until she is acknowledged. /…/ after a while, it just gets redundant. Suddenly, I’m not playing the game anymore, the game is playing me.
A game about power and dependency
This player seems to have been hoping for a queer dating sim where player choice regarding all the relationships’ outcome (including the relationship with Dagger) would be much greater than what it was. Since Knife Sisters is about dependency and power relations (something that is clearly stated in the description and also in the beginning of the game), there definitely is coercion – meaning that the player/Leo can’t fully get away from Dagger. Being caught in Dagger’s net is what the game’s theme is about – and if that’s not something you as a player would want to explore, and you can’t stand it, then the game will be experienced as almost abusive to you, which is what this player is expressing. They are also saying that there are some expectations on the genre dating sim, that Knife Sisters just doesn’t live up to.
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The game and its player
To counter, some reviewers thought very differently about the game. In her Kotaku article, Kate Gray goes into the topic of the player’s relationship to the main character – and that their wants and needs actually could differ to some extent. In the beginning of the article, she poses this question:
Can a character be their own person? It’s intriguing, the idea that the player and player-character could be two separate identities, with two separate senses of agency and decision-making. Often, they are one and the same: The player tells the player-character to do something, or say something, and they will. But in many narrative games, sometimes the player-character has a personality already, and they know what they do and don’t like.
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What Gray addresses here is something I’ve thought of a lot, and have made a deliberate choice about. I want the main character to be a person that has their own agenda. Within the framework of their agenda, the player can make choices. And the relationship with Dagger is, in a way, a reflection of that design decision. No matter if the player likes Dagger, Leo is intrigued by her, and has a hard time resisting her. In that respect, Knife Sisters probably does break dating sim norms.
Gray continues:
Leo decides how they feel about the world, but you, the player, decide how they interact with it. Yes, Leo is scared, that much is clear; but whether or not they do something despite their fear is up to you.
This way of playing actually demands of the player to accept the main character’s personality and circumstances – which might be too much to ask of every single player, since they will sometimes want more agency than what the game can offer.
What do you think?
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crymea-river · 10 months ago
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4/26/2024
leap years are for remembering
god sometimes i read the things i used to write on here or even in my old journals and i cringe (for lack of a better word) at how seriously i was taking things. this page is such a time capsule. i love it, im glad ive documented my feelings over the years but it makes me feel… weird. nostalgia is so interesting.
im having a really good and also strange time with (what i assume is) my adult brain. good bc i can trust my judgement better than i have ever been able to; things just make sense in an innate way now, a way that i struggle describe. strange bc i feel like i know myself less than i ever have but also way more than i ever have at the same time ? im the same person i was at 11 and 12 and 13 and 17 and 18 and 22, and its so crazy to me how different all these ages felt but theyre all me. they didnt really go anywhere, theyre all still inside me. i remember being 22 and still feeling relatively connected to my high-school-self but then just 2 years later i felt decades removed from her. and now i feel decades removed from my 22-year-old-self. the way i would reminisce on 2016 in 2020 is how im reminiscing on 2020 now. lol leap years are for remembering, i guess.
ive found myself reverting back to a lot of things i used to do and enjoy in adolescence. lots of silly topical things, like using pantene instead of all these expensive hair products ive tried over the years. i loved the way it made my hair smell back then and it made it so soft and who cares if it coats my hair in silicon or whatever ill just clarify it every few weeks itll be fine. im also finally letting myself enjoy things from back then that i was afraid to fully embrace for fear of being judged. thats a Huge fun part about getting older i’ve noticed, not caring what others think. id have told you back then that i didnt care about that, and on the surface i didnt. but it would get to me to some degree. i think my music taste from back then is a prime example of that (im not gonna elaborate i know what i mean).
i hope im making 11 and 12 and 13 year old me proud. and i want to tell 16 and 17 and 18 AND 19 year old me it gets better, but also to stop taking such trivial things so seriously maybe. life does not revolve around having a boyfriend (or whatever youd call those fuckers from back then). itll happen when its meant to and it will be so worth it. no one knows what they want at those ages. i barely knew what i wanted until it fell into my lap to be honest, and that only happened after i stopped yearning so hard for that shit and began TRULY enjoying my own company (and my friends’ obviously. love them). this is not where i wanted to go with this, i didnt want to talk about men. i think thats what cringes me out so bad about my old posts/entries, theyre allllllll (mostly) about bOyS. which was age appropriate i GUESS but idk it just brought me so much unnecessary stress lol. i learned eventually, and im glad i did so when i did.
all this to say im very happy. and peaceful. and i love the people i have surrounded myself with. i love being in love and i cannot describe in actual english words how thrilled i am that its with will. even 4 years into it.
being 26 is just so strange i think
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pattywagon2go · 1 year ago
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Transit Talk Thursday
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Transit Talk Thursday: Time for a shorter post this week, but I'm hoping it will still be good fun. This will be me ROASTING commuter rail systems here in the United States! And also, a cameo from Canada. I'm doing this mainly cause I don't want to burn a lot of time doing an overly elaborate post which will drive me up until midnight. And also because I think it will be fun. The commuter rails that will be up for the flaming will be: -Long Island Rail Road -Metra -New Jersey Transit -GO Transit -Metro-North -Trinity Railway Express -MBTA Commuter Rail -MARC Train -SEPTA Regional Rail -Caltrain
Depending on whether I run out of ideas again I'll maybe do a few more that I missed, or do some light rail systems as well. Who the hell knows.
Oh, one last thing, don't take this too seriously, this is meant to be in good fun, and what I say is very much exaggerated just for comedy value.
Anyway, it's time to get roasting!
Long Island Rail Road
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Oldest and most popular commuter rail in the country, but I'm starting to wonder how many of those people actually like using the LIRR or are just riding it for the novelty of it being the oldest railroad under it's original charter. Ah whatever, it's fine enough, as long as you get off before fare zone 7. Just ignore what's out there. There's literally nothing special out there. Trust me.
Metra
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The word "ineptitude" if it was made into a commuter rail. Make the system better in general through a few very easy fixes? FUCK YOU! Let's just do incredibly dumb shit instead just for the hell of it, and people who don't like what we do can go to heck!
New Jersey Transit
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This is the example of your ideal commuter rail system. So many extensive lines running all over the place, as long as you forget about that weird part of the state known as "South Jersey". But hey, it's all worth it to shuttle people into the heart of Hell itself known as New York City.
GO Transit
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GO? Yeah, I'd like to GO. I'd like to GO with GO by parking my car at my local GO and GOing all the way to Toronto to work my 9-5 job, then GOing back to my local GO station to GO back to my car and GO home. Ah, I love it when I can GO to the city without a car while still GOing to the station with one. Truly, this is the way to GO.
Metro-North Railroad
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If New Jersey Transit shuttled people from Connecticut and upstate New York into the heart of Hell itself. Comes with a bonus of the inability to decide which electrification system to use on the New Haven line. But it's ok. You can tell us which one you want whenever you want. We'll still love you the same.
Trinity Railway Express
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This thing's only purpose in life is to shuttle people between Dallas and Fort Worth, Hell-I mean, Texas. Yeah, that's it. Normally I'd make some rude remark about it's quality or some quirk it has, but with how low of a bar there is and this thing slamming face-first into it I don't think I have to add anything.
MBTA Commuter Rail
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I almost feel bad about even including this here, as it really feels like kicking a man while he's down, with the whole rolling stock mishap and the obvious infrastructure projects that should be happening but just not happening at all thing. Buuuuuttt, it is run by a French company, so it deserves to be on the list for that alone.
MARC Train
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Decisions decisions, do we continue using our old electric locomotives, replace them with shiny new ones because the old ones need replacing soon, or just run Siemens Charger locomotives under electric wire instead. If you picked the Siemens Charger locomotives, congratulations, you just became MARC.
SEPTA Regional Rail
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If you took the ineptitude of Metra but with a fully electrified system. It's the transit equivalent of putting sprinkles on dog turds. But hey, it's not all bad. There's some good stuff going on with SEPTA. Like...
Caltrain
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The ineptitude of Metra if it served the Bay Area. But hey, there's hope for that curse to be broken since electrification is coming eventually (tm). Originally I didn't think this was gonna make the cut, but then I realized that this commuter rail serves the Bay Area, in California. Then I realized that this perfectly makes the cut.
And that's all of the roasts! Maybe I'll do more in the future, maybe not, we'll have to see. And once again, don't take any of this seriously, about 90% of this was exaggerated, it's all in good fun. Everything here was just in good fun, as long as you don't defend the French owning the MBTA.
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