#really thought long and hard about whether or not danny should kill the joker in this update

[starry-bi-sky]

Childhood Friends Au: Jason

there's something burning in the empty room inside my head fill it up with doubt let it in, let it spread

When Jason gets Tim's text in the groupchat, he ignores it. And then a short series of buzzes distract him from a drug bust. It hasn't even been that long since he reconciled with the family, with Bruce. He thinks that perhaps he should have left it sooner.

He glances at it momentarily when the buzzing stops and he doesn't need to knock out more guys. He sees Tim's question dedicated towards him, and his response is instant, his thumbs flying over in response.

He doesn't care, he's trying to patrol.

(He does not have Danny's number in this phone, it's new. A model from this year rather than one from four years ago. He wants that old phone back. He hasn't even looked at their old letters yet.)

(Jason bets that they've been packed away in storage with the rest of his things. He doesn't want to visit the manor, but maybe he should. Just to find those letters again. He's not sure if he's allowed to.)

And then Tim says its Danny, and Jason flies up to the past texts to find the photo before he can think. And then there is Danny staring right at him again, with the same old smile on his face that he always aimed at people. Lopsided, Danny's favorite kind of smile.

Something old, something new. He's got piercings, and his eyes are as blue as they've ever been. He has an undercut, it looks self-done. It looks good. He looks tired.

Danny's good at hiding things from people, it comes with the purchase of being a street kid. But Jason can't have someone else's back without knowing the ins and outs of the person in question. Jason knows when Danny is tired, and Danny knows when he is too.

Before his death, whenever Danny came over he never missed a beat in telling Jason that he looked like shit. Were Bruce's fancy rich-people, cloud-made mattresses too soft for him? He can find him a moth-eaten street mat for him if he needs it. It'd be like the good old days.

(Jason wishes he could have told him he was Robin, but it wouldn't be safe.)

Jason had to see him with his own eyes, had to confirm with his own eyes just how much Danny had changed. It's just his luck -- if he has any left -- that he arrives to Bruce's dumb gala just as Danny steps out onto their once-shared, west-end balcony.

He drops down, something heavy in his throat, before he can properly think it through. Danny looks up before his feet even touch the ground, like he knew he was there. Jason wonders if he did. There is a cigarette in Danny's mouth. Something old. And something flashes in his eyes that Jason cannot place. Danny looks tense.

Jason feels like he's made a mistake.

In the end, watching Danny walk away feels a lot like Jason is losing something -- or is he missing something? Is it both? He wants to reach out, grab Danny's arm, but his feet are glued to the balcony floor. There are so many things he wants to say, but his tongue has glued itself to the roof of his mouth. Something has crawled into his mouth and died.

So much has been said with so little words. He wants to spin Danny around and ask him so many questions.

What do you mean you spoke to my ghost?

What do you mean I told you the Joker killed me?

What else have I told you?

The Fentons were right?

What happened while I was gone?

Why are you scarred? Where did those come from?

(He is not blind. He saw those silver lightning scars etched into his best friend's skin, saw that it disappeared under his sleeves. Danny did not have those the last time Jason saw him, the last time he was alive.)

(The sight of it makes him alight with murderous intent. He wants to take his best friend by the front of his shirt and shake him -- who did this to you? Who did it? Tell him, he will fix it.)

(But he can't. He doesn't. Doing that means revealing who he is. It means telling his best friend that he has been alive for the last five years and he did not tell him. It would mean telling his best friend that he did not want him to know.)

You're going to kill the Joker for me?

What have I missed?

What do I not know?

You look so tired.

But before he can even get his mouth to move, Danny is gone back inside. The door swinging open, music once muffled now blaring out for only a few seconds before Danny is slipped back inside.

And Jason is left on the balcony, alone, with more questions than he thought he would have. He stares at the broken cigarette on the ground, it feels like a metaphor for something. Jason can't figure out for his second life what it is.

Maybe it's not a metaphor at all, maybe the curtains are sometimes just blue. Maybe sometimes your best friend just tells a vigilante that he is going to murder someone; that he is going to avenge his best friend with his bare hands and feel no remorse for it.

It is what Jason wants Bruce to do, wants someone who loves him to do. But he's not sure if its something he wants Danny to do. Not when he has been living a normal life -- or as normal as it could be -- without hide nor tail knowledge of what Jason used to do, or what he does now.

What have I missed?

Danny. He's missed Danny. He didn't look into Amity Park out of fear of what he'll find; of what he might do. But now Jason thinks he might have to.

Danny has talked to his ghost. Danny is going to kill for him. He has that look in his eyes that Jason knows so familiar; the one where he needs Jason to play distractor while he stole something from the corner store. The one where he looks a kid five years his senior in the eyes and kicks him in the dick because he cornered him and Jason, itching for a fight.

There's a look so familiar in his eyes; the one of a boy that's set his mind to something and he is going to do it. He can't call it the eyes of a cornered animal, because Danny has never been cornered, not when he's been with Jason. He calls it the eyes of a boy about to do something he will never regret.

He watches him leave with the Vlad Masters guy. He hides atop the roof and eavesdrops. The paparazzi have since left now that it was much later in the night; they are not the bigger fish, even if they sometimes parade it to be.

"I thought I told you to make nice." Vlad Masters scowls as he walks to the other side of the sleek black limousine. "To not embarrass me."

Jason frowns at the way he talks. His fingers itch, and something old lurches in his chest: the same old protectiveness that he used to feel whenever he and Danny were about to get into a fight. And then, later, when they would stand inside Bruce's galas with people who couldn't care less if they breathed or died.

Danny scowls right back at him, all venom and bite, and leans against the side of the car. "I did make nice -- as nice as I could when you dragged me here."

Vlad Master rolls his eyes, huffing. Jason's frown only deepens. It's not easy to make Danny do anything he doesn't want to. His sister has tried, so have his parents, as well as his teachers. But Danny is wild and so is Jason. Rebellion and disobedience -- no, independence -- cut into them from the streets like its broken glass.

Jason doesn't remember Danny ever mentioning knowing a Vlad Masters. They must have met after Jason died, then. He doesn't like him. He's the same as all the other socialites in that party. There is a greed in his eyes that Jason knows rots down to the core of him.

"I thought you would enjoy being here, little badger." Masters tries, and his tone makes Jason ruffle. As does the nickname. Danny's scowl only ever deepens, his fingers curling to dig nails into his palms. He looks at Masters like he wants him to burst into flames. "You are friends of the Waynes, I thought you would like the little reunion."

"Whether I did or didn't is none of your business." Danny says. The door clicks open on Masters' side, as if they remembered that they were on the street rather than in the car. Masters climbs into the back, and Danny opens the door. He only reaches in though, and pulls out a old hoodie.

Danny pulls it over his head, and his vest and button-down are hidden underneath it. "Don't wait up you old fruitloop, there's someone here I need to see." And he slams the door shut with more force than necessary.

(Jason makes a mental note to look into Vlad Masters. Who is he to Danny. How did they meet? There is an old animosity between each other that Jason has never seen before. Not even when they were on the streets. Not to this extent.)

Jason's heart seizes up. Danny's reminder early surges to the front of his mind. Right. That's right. He's going to go see him. Jason. He is going to lay flowers on his grave. He remembers that Jason likes zinnias. There are no florists open this late at night, Jason thinks.

He follows Danny from the rooftops. Danny sticks close to the buildings, slipping in and out of shadows. Jason wants to know where he learned how to do that. Where did he learn how to move without a sound?

Five years is a long time to be away from someone, Jason thinks. Something that fills him with dread. Five years is a long, long time. He's afraid that it's been too long. Will he still know Danny like he used to, if he asks? And if he doesn't?

More, more, more. More questions than answers. More things that Jason doesn't know about someone he used know to like the back of his hand. It scares him, and he hates it.

(There is scarring on Danny's hand that Jason has never seen before. Maybe that's the metaphor he was missing before. Maybe there are still more.)

Danny moves like a ghost down Gotham's streets, his hands shoved into his pockets without a care in the world. It is confusing. It is concerning. It is proof that more things have changed than Jason likes.

Danny somehow finds a florist open at this time of night, and buys a bouquet. And like he told the Red Hood, he buys zinnias. Reds and yellows. For a moment, Jason thinks that Danny knows. He wonders if he does.

What would he have told him, if he was a ghost? He told him that the Joker killed him. Maybe that means he told Danny he was Robin too, like he always wanted to. But couldn't, because it wasn't safe, and it wasn't just his secret to tell?

Why has nothing changed, now that he was alive again?

"Did you know," Danny starts, when he sits down at Jason's grave with flowers slipping gently from his fingers, before the tombstone below. Jason is as close as he can without being seen, hiding like a ghost. "That red zinnias mean stead beating of a heart?" He smiles sardonically, "You picked quite the flower, Jay."

(There is an echoing in his ears, Danny's voice faint in the back of his mind. Ghosts can hear you when you speak to their grave, did you know? Jason can hear him better than he should.)

Jason knows the irony. Perhaps it's got double the meaning now, now that he's alive again. Danny doesn't know that though, sitting before his grave with flowers that symbolize a beating heart. Between the two of them, Jason thinks that the only heart here is Danny.

(Between the two of them, the only heart here is one that's made between the two of them.)

"Yellow zinnias," Danny continues, resting his chin in his hand, "mean daily remembrance." His smile tilts on the axis of his mouth, a wrinkle between his brows. He looks pained. Hurt. There is no comment made. Like it doesn't need to be said.

Jason thinks he can hear it anyways, and his heart twists like someone took it and twisted it like a rag, trying to drain the dirty water out of the cloth. He hurts.

I miss you. Is what he hears. Is what Danny doesn't say. Is what Jason knows he's thinking anyways.

I am right here. Is what Jason wants to say, but doesn't. He is right here. But his feet are grave-bound to the floor, and a part of him feels like he's clawing out his own grave again. But the dirt falling is endless and merciless. He can't get free.

He bites his tongue, a lump in his throat. Shame wells in his heart and Jason wants to shrink away from this. His feet are grave-bound to the floor.

"I'm sorry for not visiting sooner." Danny says, hand dropping out of his chin to pick at the ends of his sleeves. His smile fades into a frown. His voice wobbles. "I'm sorry, I don't have an excuse. I should have."

Please don't be. Jason thinks. He doesn't think he can be upset about it, not when Danny is laying yellow flowers on his grave that mean remembrance. i think of you daily. Not when Danny was going to kill the Joker for him.

Jason still doesn't know what to think of that. He still isn't sure if it's real or not.

"I went to one of Bruce's galas today." Danny says, and Jason knows. He saw him there. Danny smiles weakly. "I know, right? First time in five years. Vlad dragged me along, you remember him right?"

No, I don't. Jason thinks, and he feels a flutter of anxiety. A sense of impending doom. A choking dread. What else have I missed? He thinks again. Why doesn't he remember? Danny told him about Vlad, but it can only be from when he was a ghost. How long was he a ghost before he was revived? How often did he and Danny speak?

Jason doesn't like not knowing things, he doesn't like not knowing things about himself.

It would be so easy, a little voice whispers, to reveal himself now. To step forward and take his helmet off. To tell Danny that he was alive. To demand answers that only Danny could know.

But then what? When Danny inevitably asks his own questions? About how long Jason's been alive? Why he was dressed the way he was? Why he didn't say anything earlier, on the balcony?

(But he did say it earlier, when he offered Danny the cigarette and silently asked him for his thoughts.)

Jason is afraid of what Danny might think of him, if he tells him what he's done. About the blood on his hands and the bridges he's burned. What if telling him is just more gasoline on another bridge, with Danny holding the match? He stays silent. Fear is a powerful motivator. It's a powerful deterrent, too.

"The asshole blackmailed me into coming." Danny says, drawing his knees up to his chest. He looks disinterested. Annoyed, actually. Like what he is saying isn't sending alarm bells through Jason's mind. Like what he's saying doesn't concern him. "It's really dumb, actually."

He sighs, long and tired. There is grief etched into every line and pore in his face. "I could have handled it without even needing to come to the gala, I've done it before." He mutters when his eyes open. His fingers brush against the petals of the bouquet.

(And that only sends more alarm bells ringing in Jason's mind. Red lights blaring. Distress fills the cavity of his lungs. What has he missed?)

"I only agreed because I missed you," Danny says, "and Bruce. He invited me to come over sometime soon, to catch up. I agreed and I'm not sure why I did."

Jason didn't know that.

Danny continues talking. Jason listens in dutifully. He feels like a stranger imposing on his own grave. It's ridiculous. It makes sense. He feels like he should slink away and let Danny talk to his grave in peace. He cannot bring himself to move.

If he closes his eyes, he can pretend that he's sitting in front of him, like it's the good old days and they're back in Jason's room in the manor. Staying up late and trading stories back and forth. Sneaking out to the balcony and climbing onto rooftops they’re not supposed to go on. 

Jazz is getting her psychology degree. Him and Sam had a big fight a few years ago, but they’re better now. Tucker wants to start his own tech business. 

And on and on Danny goes, rambling about every little thing he can think of in the last five years since they last talked. He jumps back and forth between topics, when he remembers something he cuts to it. And then jumps back off to the next thought passing through his mind.

"I don't know what I want to do." Danny says, finally, after he exhausts every other topic to talk about. "I wanted to be an astronaut, but now I'm not so sure." His knees draw up to his chin, and he looks so sad. He looks nineteen. Small despite his size.

Were they really just nineteen, verging on twenty? Jason feels older among his years. Fourteen feels so far away.

Danny breathes in slowly, it's a sound that trembles. From where he stands, Jason sees Danny's eyes film over with tears. He makes a choked out sound that sounds like a terrible mix of a laugh and a sob.

"Where did you go?" He whispers. He tries to smile, and it is this pained, awful thing that drops within a second. Fingers clutch at his legs, diggings wrinkles into the fabric. "I know you're still here. Where did you go?"

There is no answer. Guilt is an animal with claws, and it burrows into Jason's heart to make itself home between the tendons. Tears slide from Danny's eyes down his cheeks. He still cries for him, five years later. Five years after. Jason feels worse.

"I haven't stopped looking for you." Danny continues, his voice cracks, and the words run over Jason's ears like water sliding off a duck's back. He doesn't hear it at first -- no, he doesn't understand it at first. And then when he does, he plunges his hands into the waters of his mind to drudge it back up.

You're looking for me? Do you know I'm alive?

It's another question to Jason's never-ending list.

"You might as well tell me where you are now." He smiles again; tries to. It wobbles, lips pulling back to show teeth as more tears spill over and carve red marks down Danny's face. "Or I'll find Cujo and sick him on you. He's gettin' real good at tracking things you know."

Jason doesn't know who Cujo is. But it sounds like a dog. He knows Danny's always wanted one, but their apartments would never allow it. It's not like his parents could afford one either.

There is a silence that hangs over them, with only the sound of the city around them. Danny seems to tremble more and more as each second passes, until finally a bubble pops. His smile drops, and so do his knees that were pressed into his chest.

He doesn't say a thing, not with words anyways. He hunches over and hugs himself with nails that dig into his elbows, failing to stifle a years' old grief. Jason wants to flee, lest he breaks his word to himself and steps out to console and dry Danny's falling tears. It feels like a betrayal unto himself to only stand there and watch him drown in his grief.

Guilt is a thing with claws, and Jason leaves the cemetery with hatred eating his tongue. Danny deserves the privacy that a ghost cannot give him. Jason may no longer be a ghost, but he is still the next best thing. either way I'm left holding onto the shovel and rope digging in the dirt finding bones, finding ghosts

[chayacat]

Devil’s Sweet Star (45)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader  

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut  

***

That feeling... you thought it would be gone forever. But it’s still there. And it’s much heavier than before. The question is: why? Why is this feeling of insecurity, this feeling that something dangerous is going to happen to you, still there? You know everything. You know that Danny won't do anything to you, that he will always make sure that the police don't know anything. But you have a hunch that the thing that wants to hurt you... is foreign to the city. to the country itself. You've been hearing for a few days something... unusual. Like voices.

But these voices are inaudible from others. Only you seem to hear them. At least that's what you think. They are strange, impossible to distinguish whether it is men or women who talk to you. or maybe both? Just as it is impossible to know what they are telling you. These are whispers. The only words you managed to understand once were: "Sorrow" and "Suffering". But nothing more. Could it be ghosts? spirits wandering aimlessly and trying to get in touch with you? From memory, you don't remember having a gift for communicating with spirits. But you've always believed in it. And you have always respected the dead, whether they were people you knew or complete strangers. Perhaps this respect has earned you a gift from the gods, allowing you to contact the afterlife? Maybe.

“Have you seen the latest news? In the end Hoggins was not McKellan's murderer. It was Ghostface!” said one the customer.  

“Yeah, I saw. But hey, is it surprising? No. Does this change anything? neither. And I want to tell you: so much the better. At least we are sure of who we should thank.” said his friend.  

“Excuse me? You wanna thank that freaking psycho for killing people? He’s a twisted man! Not a hero!” Replied the first one.

“Yeah, and he killed two others monsters, who stole money from the poorest and even the richest for their personal accounts! Moreover, it seems that Hoggins was involved in a more horrific scandal in Florida. They only got what they deserved.” Responds the second one.  

“I have heard of this story. What a bastard, to let sick people die when they could be saved. You have to be inhuman to do that. Fortunately, we have journalists like Jed Olsen to shed light on this kind of horror. Imagine how much longer Hoggins could have remained free if guys like Olsen didn't risk their lives and careers for it.” said another man before drink his coffee. “We need a guy like him to rule this damn country.”  

If only you knew sir what we know about "Jed Olsen". If only you knew... you would quickly change your point of view. But he and the second man in the trio were right, if Danny hadn't put his life and career on the line, Hoggins would still be free with impunity. And so does McKellan. They deserved to die it's true, and Danny made sure of it. He is both a completely twisted murderer, but also a hero to the inhabitants of this city. A murderous hero... you would have a hard time knowing how he would have reacted, if he ever heard it.

He would be both flattered and annoyed perhaps. Because that's not how he wants to be remembered, he doesn't want to be remembered that way. But simply as the greatest murderer in history who has never been arrested, and whose identity will forever remain a mystery. Like Jack the Ripper in itself. You wonder inwardly if Danny was inspired by it. It’s quite possible.  

“I find it hard to believe what I just heard. Ghostface who goes from murderer to hero of the little people. It looks like the end of the movie "Joker".” said suddenly a woman voice. When you turned your head, you could see Melina, smiling at you like always, coming to the table next to the counter. “Same as usual Amy!”  

“Alright! Right away!” responds Amy with a smile.  

“Hey... you look like you have your head in the clouds. Everything's fine? Jed made you live another wild night? Be careful, you will end up with a little baby at home very quickly if it continues.” replied Melina laughing by looking at you.  

“Really funny Melina.” you start before laughing too. “Even though Jed is... wild, he knows how to be careful. We are not yet ready to have a baby. But let's say that for a few days... I have trouble sleeping well.”

“Oh. Tell me maybe I can give you two or three advices.”

You tell Melina about your bad nights. If at first, she listened attentively and without expressing emotion, once your story was finished, the young woman looked at you with big eyes, as if you had just told her your most shameful secret of your life.

“Shit, so they're after you too...” she said worried.

“What do you mean?” you ask worried.  

“Jed told me the same thing the other day. He said he heard the same whispers and even had nightmares about them. Nightmares where you were there. I thought it was just a fear not to be able to take care of you but... I have to believe that my mystical side was right.”

Hold on. Danny went through the same things you did and he didn't tell you anything? It's not very friendly. But in a sense... you can't really blame him. He certainly had good reasons not to tell you about it. Surely, he didn't want to worry you, or that you would think he was crazy. Even if he is a little bit crazy in a sense. And again, the word is weak.

“You and Jed are related. And I feel like you've attracted... negative entities. Spirits, ghosts who want to hurt you. They may be trying to reach you through dreams first, but who knows how this can evolve. And who can be these spirits.” said Melina worried.  

“You starting to scare me. Why us? Jed and I didn't do anything except ... live our lives and do our work.” you said scared.

“Evil spirits have no particular criteria for attacking someone. If they find a target they like, or someone provokes them, then they go after that person. In your case, I think it's related to Jed. Because I think the mcKellan and Hoggins' souls are not... Left. They are surely stuck here because of their hatred and anger. And since you're in a relationship with Jed, they're attacking you too. Or, it's a much more powerful entity than those two. But in any case, it wants to hurt you. You're going to have to be very careful.”

“There's no way to get them to leave?”

“I could use the objects my grandmother used to purify a house but... I'm not sure I'm as good as she was. It's really very meticulous as a practice.” replied Melina.  

“I'll talk about it with Jed tonight. Thank you very much Melina.” you respond.  

You went back to work and the rest of your day was all about anxiety. If Melina is telling the truth, then you are in danger. Maybe that's why you have this strange feeling of not being safe when, all those who could have hurt you are dead, under Danny's sharp blade. And he, too, had the same experience. There is not much you can do about evil spirits except to drive them out. And you will deeply hope that Melina will be your salvation. Otherwise... you will have to think about leaving the city. Or start praying to God.

The last customers of the day ended up leaving your café, greeting you warmly. Then it was Amy and Corey’s turn who for a few days, got very close to each other. They were so lovely together. You clean the last tables before you take care of the back shop. Danny shouldn't be long in coming, so you'll both be able to discuss these nightmares you're both experiencing. Hoping he isn't too tired or in a hurry to kill someone tonight.

While you were cleaning your kitchen tools, you suddenly hear a noise coming from the room. You put down your equipment and take a weapon in case it’s a thief. You move carefully through the room until you reach the switch to turn on the light. But nothing. not the shadow of a thief, or an object that fell to the ground. You may have dreamed... Then suddenly, whispers. The same whispers you've been hearing for days and days. But this time it looks like it's coming from the back shop you just left.  

When you return to the back shop, you find that the door leading to the outside is... strange. A dark aura emanated from it and mist escaped from the lock and the bottom of the door. The whispers became clearer as you approached.

“(Y/N) …(Y/N) ...It’s time. Come with us. Join us. Feed my hunger. Give us all your suffering and sorrow. For all eternity.” said the voices.

“Who are you? And what do you want from me?” you ask.

“Who we are doesn’t matter. The most important is that you’ll feed us. With your screams, your pain, your sorrow, your blood. Now come with us. It’s time for you to meet your fate.”

Suddenly the door opened on a thick black mist. Giant spider legs came out and tried to catch you. You step back several steps but visibly, they are much longer than you hoped. As it was about to take you away, you feel something pulling you back. Under the effect of fear, you try to struggle when a familiar voice was heard.

“Hey! Hey Honey It’s me! Calm down!” said Danny by blocking yourself by the shoulders, forcing you to look at him. “It’s me...stay calm.”

“Danny...” you start as you feel tears in the corner of your eyes.  

The voices were heard again, and the paws moved towards the two of you. Danny pushed you, one of the spider legs injuring his arm in the process. He took a weapon in his hands and pushed it back to the door before getting against it and locking it. The door began to move, as if we wanted to open it from the outside and then after a few minutes... a silence set in. Everything had stopped. Danny stepped back before looking at you making sure you were still there. Then he joins you, taking you in his arms.

“What the f**k was that thing?? And what did it want??” you said crying.

“I don’t know. But for now...we’re safe.” said Danny.  

“You’re...you’re hurt. I have a first care kit. I will take care of your injury.”

You take the first care kit and ask Danny to come and sit next to you so you can treat him. He winced when you applied the disinfectant but remained motionless until you applied the bandages to him. You then put away the equipment and both of you leave the café to go home. Once at the apartment, you both sit on the sofa sighing, still in shock from what had just happened.

“Melina was right. We have attracted evil spirits. And they're not going to let us go now.” You said.  

“Honey please... Don't tell me you believe in this bullshit...” responds Danny, passing a hand on his face.  

“Danny, you saw what I saw! And you were hurt! How can you not believe in these things?? You suffered the same thing as me! Melina told me everything.”

“Okay, okay, stay calm. If they're really hitting spirits, there's not much we can do but chase them away, hoping it works.”

“Melina proposed it to me... it doesn't cost anything to try. But if it doesn't work... either we will have to leave the city, or we will have to pray to God.” you replied.

“Leaving the city would not be of much use and I have not believed in God for years. So don't count on me to pray to him. Anyway, knowing that I am a murderer I am not sure that he does much for me.” Responds Danny before getting up.  

You watch Danny walk to his office and walk out a few minutes later with his bag. He's not going to go out and kill someone tonight, is he? And even less leave you alone?? This thing, whatever it is, could come back! As he was about to leave, you take his hand before sticking yourself against him.

“Don't leave me alone... Not tonight. Please...” you said sadly.

“We no longer risk anything. I don't think this thing is attacking the two of us again.” Danny responds.  

“How do you know? If it happens, maybe it will only go after you and I will never see you again! Danny please... Stay with me.”

“...Fine Honey. I’ll stay. Tomorrow I'll call Melina. If her magic shits works...we’ll be safe again. Let’s eat something and go to sleep.”  

Despite his words, you do not let him go. On the contrary, you will tighten more and more against him. And he gave it back to you. Whatever that thing is, it will surely come back. Danny is maybe a murderer, but he is the one you love. And if this thing has to take Danny, it will have to take you too.

And that's what it intends to do. One way or another.

***

(My second dose of vaccine is finally done! but the effects were quick to manifest, I think my body wanted to do a speed run X) Don't worry it was nothing very bad, arm pain after the injection and the next day, headache in the morning and some dizziness in the evening. But now I'm feeling better! and above all, I will finally be able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life! And go see Dune at the cinema! I hope you’ll like this chapter like the other ones! Well, it's time for my brain to rest! Have a great weekend to you all!  See ya! )

[hessafeelsfordayss]

Theories/Rants.

This really is my last post on this matter. Unless I find out some new information. I know you all are probably tired of these, but I just really need to vent. I always leave things out in my other posts, but this time I'm gonna try my best not to leave anything out. Just warning you this is going to be really long, might contain some spoilers, and is probably unorganized. The choice is yours whether you read it or not. If you disagree that's fine, just please be respectful. If you agree, please let me know. :)

So first, I'm pretty irritated at the people who still say Jerome's not the Joker. I mean how much more proof do some of you need? Both Cameron and Danny have already confirmed Jerome is the Joker, plus all the clues point to him. He was officially called Joker in Jerome's rebirth promo, plus Danny was talking about Jerome at comic con and called him the Joker. Also, Jerome has way too many similarities with all the versions of Joker (especially Ledger, Leto, and Nicholson) Plus not to mention that you can spell 'Joker' with Jerome's full name (Jerome Valeska). I just don't understand how people can still say that he isn't, even after all the hints, and even confirmations. Not to mention the Joker card was in the episode where Jerome was resurrected. So anyway, to those wondering or doubting, he is indeed Joker (thank God). Just wanted to get that out there.

(There’s a lot more, but I’m just gonna stick with these)

Anyway, my second biggest issue is how people are saying Lee can't be Harley. I just want to point out that Gotham is an entirely different universe, and anything is possible.They stay true to the characters, but they make it their own to make it more interesting. Like for example; no one is supposed to know Joker's real name or his past, but we know a little about Jerome's past, such the fact that he grew up in a circus, with an absent father and a mother that abused him. Plus  we know his real name. So it is very possible for Lee to become Harley. Anyway, the two main reasons people think that she 'can't become Harley' is because she's already an important character in the comics, and shes's too old for Jerome. I understand she's her own character in the comics, but this version of Lee doesn't really match the comic book versions. First of all Lee in the comics is supposed to help Alfred raise Bruce, and be a mother-like figure to him. This Lee was basically just made to be Jim's on and off love interest (so far). She's only met Bruce a few times, and she's never mentioned that she knew Thomas and Martha. Also, Lee in the comics is supposed to be way older, whereas this Lee isn't that old. She said she was around the same age as Grace Fairchild (One of the ogre's victims).. so I would say she's in her mid or late twenties.

Leslie in the comics:

Grace Fairchild:

Now the second reason, is people say she is too old for Jerome. I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say Jerome doesn't care about age. I mean he has come onto both Barbara and Lee. Both ladies are older than him, not to mention he's the one that flirted with them first. I really think he may have mommy issues. Like some girls grow up with either an absent father or a bad father, so they end up having daddy issues. I believe it's the same case for Jerome considering he didn't get the love and affection from his mother that a child should. He's flirted with Barbara and called her gorgeous, and he's flirted with Lee, called her pretty, and asked her if they ever had sex. So he's obviously attracted to them. And I believe they're attracted to him as well. Barbara acted disinterested, but there was moments where she would flirt back. Like she would laugh at his jokes, and she even said 'the kid had a way about him.' Then, to me, Lee has seemed interested from day one. She watched him in the interrogation room and had a slight smirk (the corners of her mouth were lifted slightly), then after the interrogation was over she was still thinking about it and even said 'it was ugly but thrilling.'

This was her still thinking about what happened.

Then when he came back alive and took her hostage you could really tell. At first glance, she did seem disinterested I admit. But when you watch it again, and you pay close attention to the way they look at each other, watch their body language and etc, you can tell they feel something. Whether it be lust, fascination, desire, etc. Of course she was gonna act all hard and tough, I mean he’s a psychotic criminal and she was probably ashamed for her feelings (both because he’s crazy and younger than her), but you see moments where it looks like she lets her guard down and she's close to giving in.  I know he liked both of them, but I think he feels more of a connection with Lee though. Don't get me wrong, he and Barbara seemed to have chemistry too, but I think he has a soft spot for Lee. I noticed Jerome used to get annoyed with Barbara a lot. Like he would roll his eyes at her and shake his head and you could just tell she annoyed him. One of those times was when she punched Lee at the gala. And I know that’s how Joker is with Harley, but I still think he has more of a connection with Lee.  With Lee, he seems kind of protective over her in his own way. He has both saved and spared her life. In 'The Last Laugh' he saved her from being stabbed by Barbara. Then in 'Smile Like You Mean It' and 'The Gentle Art of Making Enemies' she's the only one he didn't try to hurt or anything. In 'Smile Like You Mean It' he killed two cops, and Dwight. Then in 'The Gentle Art of Making Enemies' he went after Bruce and was gonna kill Alfred too. Then he made his own torture circus, where he and his cult tortured many innocent people. He dropped that guy into the piranha tank, and he stabbed the clown that was doing Bruce's makeup. He even shot someone from his own cult just because he was cheering for him too loud. All he did to Lee was hold her hostage, and then tied her hands to the examination table. He didn't hurt, or kill her. And believe me, he had plenty of motive.. considering Jim is the one that put him in Arkham in the first place. He knows how much Lee meant to Jim, and he knew it would have been the best way to hurt him.. but all he did was tie her up, and gag her. And a lot of people say that he only spared her life for the sake of keeping her character on the show, but why did they choose Lee's character to be there anyway? Usually, I would've thought it was a coincidence, had it not been for the fact that Lee was always present during Jerome's most important scenes. She was present during it all. She was there when he was first introduced (she was also the reason they were there in the first place. Both because she had circus tickets, and she's the one that found out about Lila.) She was there when they found Lila's body, she was in the interrogation room (which was the first, and last time she was in there while a suspect was being interrogated), she was at the GCPD when Jerome and the Maniax were shooting up the place, she was the one he and Barbara took hostage at the gala (she also witnessed his death), and she was the one he took hostage when he first woke up. The writers are in control of everything.. why would they choose Lee's character out of all the other characters to be present during all these scenes?

Also "Everyone else has seen the Joker laugh, but only Harley has ever seen him cry."- Arleen Sorkin. Lee held and comforted Jerome when they found his mother's body (I know he was faking, but I still think it counts. The thing that stood out to me was the fact that Lee held him.. because I think Harley is the only one who gets to hold the Joker and see him cry.)

He wasn’t crying here, but she’s holding him from behind in a kind of similar way.

Plus there are many characteristics that she already has in common with Harley. Like the fact that she's a doctor, with trauma training. Even though she's not a professional psychiatrist like Harley, she basically is still somewhat of a therapist. Considering people always go to her when they need someone to talk to, plus she's always giving therapeutic advice. Like she talked to Barbara about Jason, since that was the only way Barbara would have talked to anyone. We all know the reason now, but she still talked to her. Then she was the one Alfred called when he thought Bruce was going through some trauma from being kidnapped and needed someone to talk to. Lucious went to her and asked why someone would engage in such cat and mouse games like Ed was.  And Jim even called her a residential therapist.  A big bonus is not only is she a doctor, but she also worked at Arkham. That's where she was first introduced on the show. Plus in the comics, Suicide Squad, and The Animated Series Joker calls Harley 'doc' or 'doctor' a lot. Lee is the only one Jerome calls doc.

There's also some small, but relevant clues. Like the fact that her name is Leslie Thompkins, but she mainly goes by Lee. Lee is both in Harleen, and Harley (Harlee), so she could easily change her name to one of the two. Plus is you say it out loud, Thompkins can also kind of sound like ThompQuinns. Before Barnes was infected his name was Nathaniel Barnes, but when he got infected he renamed himself 'the executioner'. So she could change her name as well. I know Jim gave her the antidote, but the news reporter said there was only a 90% cure rate. Plus she was infected not only once, but twice. She first injected the blood into her arm willingly, and then she also got hit with it again when the bomb went off. Plus she didn't want to take the antidote, so it may affect her differently than everyone else. And who's to say the antidote would be 100% effective anyway.. considering it was the first batch that was made (I'm pretty sure, could be wrong though). My point is she could still come back, with a new persona. Anything could be possible at this point. She could still have some of the virus running through her veins, and she lied to Jim maybe. Or she could be cured, but because she liked the dark side so much she could choose to be bad still. I don't believe Lee is gonna be gone long, because Morena didn't say she anything about leaving the show or anything. So I believe she will be back. Maybe go back to Gotham and work at Arkham again? Or something along those lines. Another small but relevant clue is she has a sister. As far as I know Barbara was an only child, that little girl looked to be an only child, and I think Silver was an only child. But Silver isn't possible anymore. Since she wasn't in the finale. It's narrowed down between the little girl, Lee, and Barbara. Possibly fish, but I seriously doubt it. Anyway in the comics Harley makes it known that she has a daughter with Joker named Lucy, who her sister takes care of.

So that's a pretty big clue to me. Especially because it's new 52 Harley (the one with red and black hair). Let's also not forget the fact that the writers and David Mazouz said that Harley is definitely in the finale, and Lee was wearing all Harley colors in that episode. First she was wearing a black and white dress, then red and black, and then at the end of the episode she was wearing blue, red, black, and white. (other Harley colors).

Her outfits before the antidote:

Her entire outfit was red and black.. even her sunglasses, shoes, and purse.

After the antidote:

Plus Lee has been highlighted in red a lot this season. Like in the light her hair  highlights red, plus she wore red and black a few times (especially towards the finale), and her house was red and black.

Another small clue is she acted a lot like Harley when she had the virus. She was still corny, she laughed a lot, she was manipulative, she was flirty/ seductive, and a lot of people don't talk about this, but her eyes turned blue in Babs and Tabs club (in the finale may I mention) and in the train. So she was wearing Harley colors, she had Harley traits (enhanced strength and agility; Throwing Butch across the bar), and her eyes turned blue.. all in the same episode which happens to be the episode Harley was supposed to appear in.

Her being corny/sarcastic/flirty:

Harley traits: Red and black, enhanced strength, and blue eyes.

And we have to narrow it down guys. The writers, and David both said Harley was for sure in the finale. Some more things they've said about Harley's character is 'you may have already seen Harley as someone you thought you had met and known for a long time', 'this person will somehow be connected to the Joker Cult World', and 'Harley's appearance is gonna be crazy.' They said her appearance will be crazy enough to be the launching point into season four. So the only ones that match with all of these is Lee and Barbara. The little girl we didn't meet nor know for a long time, as far as we know she isn't connected to the Joker Cult World, but her first appearance was crazy. Some people are saying she had pigtails, and a red purse.. but I’m pretty sure she didn't. She had one ponytail, and her purse was brown. She did however have a checkered skirt on, and a pink shirt I think.

Plus don't get me wrong, but that family seemed happy. Harley's family was damaged. Her father was a criminal, and her mother always compared her to evil people. She wanted to work at Arkham in the first place because she wanted to know why her father was the way he was. In this family the father actually tried to save his family, and the mother tried to guard her. I think they put that family in there randomly just to show Bruce starting to become Batman.. or maybe she will be the future Batgirl. I could actually see that happening, especially since Batgirl kind of looked up to Batman. This little girl will more than likely look up to Bruce since he saved her family. Cameron and Ben were once tweeting each other and Cameron said 'spoilers: BATGIRL' or something along those lines. Ben also got asked if Batgirl was gonna be part of this universe and he said they've been talking about it and they have to see where Jim is, and where Barbara is. Plus someone asked Erin if Batgirl would be part of the show or something along those lines, and she said there probably wouldn't be a baby because that would be the end for Barbara. So the show is talking about bringing Batgirl in it, but Erin said their probably wouldn't be a baby. So I could really see that little girl becoming Batgirl. I think they're either planning on doing that, or it was just a coincidence. I honestly don't think she's Harley. Nothing really 'screamed Harley'  to me other than the fact that she appeared in the episode they said Harley would be in, and the checkered skirt and pink shirt. I think it would be a bad move for them to make her Harley. Because the actress herself was really young. People are saying Lee and Barbara are too old for Jerome.. well the little girl is too young for Jerome and Cameron. I know Harley is supposed to be younger than Joker and Batman, but if this little girl is Harley then we won't get to see any scenes between Harley and Jerome. People are gonna get mad at me, but be honest, when you think of Joker who else do you think of? Harley. And when you think of Harley who else do you think of? Joker. Sometimes Ivy. Erin Richards herself said they're a team. We won't get any Jarley scenes if Cameron is 23 and the little girl is probably 12. Don't you all want to see Jerome and Harley interaction scenes? Or even Harley and Ivy scenes. Once again there won't be any scenes between Harley and Ivy due to the fact that Maggie is 30 and the little girl is around 12. Now I would be okay if they were just showing the little girl to introduce her, and then maybe recast her with someone older.. but I really don't think it's her. She only adds up to one thing, out of three.

Then there's Barbara, who adds up with all three. We've met and known her for a long time, she's connected to the Joker Cult World (she's interacted with Jerome), and I thought it was pretty crazy that she got electrocuted. That could probably be crazy enough to be the launching point into season four. But once again, I really don't think she's gonna be Harley either. She could be, and I guess I would be okay with that if she portrays her right, but I really don't think she is. You all are gonna think I'm crazy, and I probably am for thinking this, but what if Barbara is gonna be Livewire? Now I know her background and stuff doesn't match Livewire's, but she did get electrocuted. If I remember correctly Livewire was electrocuted (I don't know too much about her, so go easy on me.. I'm probably wrong). There are a few different versions of how it happened. Like in one version she was about to be in a helicopter crash when Supergirl saved her. But Supergirl got struck by lightning and the electricity went through her and to Leslie. Another version I think Superman was trying to save her from the stage because it caught on fire and he got electrocuted and it passed through her as well. My point is, pretty much in every version, Leslie became livewire through electrocution. Also when Leslie becomes Livewire her hair turns blue (in some versions bluish-gray) and her eyes get a really light blue. Also her skin becomes really pale. Barbara was really pale, and her eyes were really blue when she got electrocuted. She could have died and it's only natural for her to look like that.. but what if she didn't die? I believe it's possible. Not to mention, in Supergirl Leslie was blonde and had blue eyes, like Barbara. Plus as far as I know, Livewire is seductive and a little corny as well. And I'm not sure how accurate this is, but someone said one of the writers said they would like for Barbara and Harley to team up when Babs and Tabs break up. Harley, Livewire, and Poison Ivy teamed up for a little bit in the animated series. Plus I know Livewire is more of a Superman villain, but she does make appearances in Batman the Animated Series. I'm probably wrong, but it's possible. Either that or maybe the electrocution will make her sane? Maybe Barbara herself will become Batgirl?

I believe she could still become Harley though. She looked pale, and she was already displaying Harley- like character traits. In Suicide Squad movie Joker shocks Harley's brain.. so it's still possible. Also to be fair, I'm not counting anyone out, there was also Fish in that episode, but I highly doubt she's Harley. She does have some characteristics.. such as using a bat for a weapon, she's bi, she has one blue eye, and she wears black and red all the time. But her personality doesn't match Harley's in the slightest. She's more of a leader, and she's mainly about power and respect. So the one I really think is Harley is Lee. She's a character we've thought we've known and loved for a long time (she's changed a little bit every season. In season one she was this corny, sarcastic, lovable doctor. Then in season two she was still the same, but she was becoming a little darker, and then in season three we got to see a really dark side of her. One that acts a lot like Harley). She's connected to Jerome (Joker Cult World) she even nursed one of his cult members and she's seen how they dress. She was present during most of his important scenes, and she's interacted (and flirted) with him. And I wouldn't necessarily say her leaving was crazy, since she said she was going to for a while now, but it did kind of leave us hanging. Plus her leaving and coming back bad again could be a good launching point. Now, when she injected herself with the virus and first became evil, that was pretty crazy. Maybe that's what they meant? 

"She's definitely one of the more unpredictable members of the squad. She also used to be a psychiatrist so she has an extensive knowledge of mental illnesses and how to manipulate people-- I'm sorry, well, she has a lot of knowledge on how to profile people, pick their triggers, and as Harley Quinn she kind of utilizes that to just manipulate people and mess with them." - Margot Robbie. When Lee was infected with the virus she manipulated Jim by saying she was in love with him. I honestly don't think she loved Jim anymore.. because when you love someone you put their needs before your own. She literally gave him no other choice but to take the virus, knowing how much he didn't want to. She was gonna let him die if he didn't take the virus. It was basically a lose-lose situation for Jim and a win-win situation for Lee. And she didn't want to be with the normal Jim, she only wanted to be with him while he had the virus. So Lee didn't love Jim.. at least not truly love him. Because if she did she would have put his needs before hers. They basically confirmed this.

Unrequited Love: Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affection, or may consciously reject it.

Another thing that I want to point out is Lee craved darkness all this time. I called it from day one since she watched Jerome in the interrogation room. She was watching him with intrigue, and you can see her smirk slightly when he revealed his true nature. "It's pretty obvious when you think about it. Perfect Doctor Lee Thompkins, why would she be drawn to a man with so much darkness and such an appetite for violence? Unless something inside her liked it. Craved it. Needed it." This makes me think of that sickness Harley has, where it turns her on when her partner does something bad. So if she craved darkness all this time, there’s no way she wasn’t at least a little attracted to Jerome. He’s the darkest character on the show. 

And don’t you all find it a little strange that there was two ‘Doctor Leslie Thompkins’ on the show? Because I do. This is probably the craziest theory I’ve ever had, but what if Lee’s real name was Harleen, and she stole the other woman’s identity.. Yeah this is by far the craziest theory, but I just think it’s so weird that there was two. I know the show loves to keep us guessing, but I’ve also noticed they love to give hints and subtly foreshadow things.

She’s even credited as ‘Doctor Leslie Thompkins’ in the cast.

Some more things that are small but relevant clues:

1. She's seen how Mary Loyd does her makeup (The heart under the same eye as Harley) 

2. She has the obsession part

First she was obsessed with Jerome’s case, then she was obsessed with blaming Jim for Mario’s death, and then she was obsessed with Jim taking the virus and embracing ‘who he really is’. She’s a character of obsession, as is Harley.

3. Histrionic Disorder: 

Histrionic Personality Disorder:

-Dress provocatively and/or exhibit inappropriately seductive or flirtatious behavior

Her whole outfit screamed ‘look at me!’ Her breasts were popping out big time, her eyeliner was heavy enough to draw attention to her, and she was wearing sunglasses. I know wearing sunglasses is normal, but I don’t know about you all but I notice someone a lot faster when they’re wearing sunglasses. 

Her inappropriately flirting with Alfred 

-Shift emotions rapidly

-Act very dramatically, as though performing before an audience, with exaggerated emotions and expressions, yet appears to lack sincerity

(She’s done this quite a lot actually. She made a huge scene and outed Jim in front of the other GCPD officers, she especially did this when she went to the GCPD and told Harvey she buried Jim alive. Not to mention she threw Butch across the bar, not caring who saw.)

-Be overly concerned with physical appearance

-Constantly seek reassurance or approval

-Be gullible and easily influenced by others

(It didn’t take much effort from Jervis to convince her Mario’s death was ‘all her fault’. She’s more gullible than you would expect.)

-Be excessively sensitive to criticism or disapproval

(She was yelling at Jim and blaming him for Mario getting infected, but when Jim stood up for himself, she seemed really hurt.)

-Not think before acting

-Make rash decisions

-Be self-centered and rarely show concern for others

4. Similarities/parallels 

5. She's 'sane' right now, but I believe she will return and be bad again. This is a common thing for Harley. She switches from good to bad a lot 

8. Hers and Jerome's connection..

They show common body language signs of attraction:

1. Mirroring: Copying the other’s gestures, word phrases, etc.

Frequent touching:

She squeezed his bicep.

I understand it’s only normal for her to grab a hold of him out of surprise.. but one of her hands was on his already, and then she hesitantly placed her other hand on top of his other hand. 

Prolonged eye contact: Not to mention the way they look at each other. I haven’t seen them look at anyone else the way they look at each other. You don’t look at just anyone like that.

9. Morena basically confirmed herself as Harley: I think her emoji‘s meant she visited Mad Hatter in Arkham, which then linked to her injecting herself with the virus, and becoming Harley Quinn. <3

Both Lee and Harley have high-intelligence listed as one of their abilities. Amanda Waller once called Harley a genius. 

This is really long and probably very unorganized and I apologize. There’s also probably a lot of mistakes, but I hope you all can overlook them :) I know I said I wouldn't miss anything, but knowing me I probably missed a lot. If you agree please let me know, I love feedback. If you don’t that’s perfectly fine just please be respectful is all I ask :)