#really struggling with this today

[dreaming0fdistantgalaxies]

Have a selfie from a few days ago while I felt okay before my dumbass body got sick again, feel like I'm forever gonna feel like crap and sick one way or another 😅😂

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Look what we've become.

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[panstarry]

my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

[nhyhu]

@hot-scarian-summer-2024 - Day 4

The Countless Stars in Heaven's Field - Wishing on a Shooting Star - In Orbit

a kiss in the sky

[madootles]

consumed with the urge to draw with ed holding cat. that's all

edit: metal arm wrong side bc canvas flip

[merverelli]

"you just feel yourself let go."

still thinking about this episode. man. 💪💥

[daily-odile]

everything is the same except Odile is the one looping

oh. heheheheh. muahahahaha. hold on *digs through my pile of disorganized sketches*

Odile loops au; a sketch compilation!!

Some old fic drabbles + associated sketches under cut (a6 secret spoilers):

hc: Since equipment carries over, as long as Odile uses her book in a fight, she can write down notes and have it carry over loops

toxic doomed yuri (for a more fleshed out fic I highly recommend The Sweetest Thing by soreimoon, it's amazing)

[includedisco]

I find it funny when my published author friends be like....

"Your Writing is so good. You should dream bigger. Why stop at MERE fanfics?"

me: firstly, thinking that any other form of writing is more respectable than fanfic-writing is so 2003. Secondly, becoming a NY best selling author is YOUR dream. My dream is to write my otp into every romantic au possible while drinking wine and petting my cat.

Them: it doesn't hurt to actually try and write for money

Me: nah, I'm good right here, man. Money? I have a shitty daytime job for that

[kirby-the-gorb]

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

[dreaming0fdistantgalaxies]

Just wish I could get past the overwhelming loneliness they left me with

[princema-k]

someone on discord requested layton getting hurt. happy hallows eve

[disobey-disappoint-deviate]

Ok but what makes Connor my personal fave and so interesting to me is the knowledge that, damn, that missing sense of identity is so gonna come down crashing on him now that he is a deviant and can’t suppress the sense of dread that comes with not knowing who you really are and what you stand for.

Because what do you mean the first thing he does as a deviant is to assign himself a new mission, which is as over the top as it gets? I know he is very driven in general, but invading the Cyberlife Tower all by himself a few hours after becoming a person with a free will? Even as Markus himself (you know, the guy who started a revolution, broke into the news tower, etc.) tells him that his mission is a suicide! That screams „I need a goal so extreme that I forget that I haven’t found my place yet, and I also HAVE to prove my worth the only way I know.“

Whereas Markus was encouraged (to an extent) to be more independent, Connor was conditioned to be as dependant as possible. He sees himself solely through Amanda's eyes and measures his own worth by how happy she is with his actions for a big part of the game. I believe that his relationship with Hank is also based on this - he kinda replaces one person he strives to please with the next, because the new person is more accepting of his personal ethics and doesn’t threaten to kill him all the time (well, as long as Connor's ethics align with Hank's, that is, but they generally do in the deviant route). I'm not saying this because I blame Hank or want to question the sincerity of their relationship, I mostly blame it on Connor not knowing who he is and how not to define himself through other people's approval of his actions.

And then, he meets Markus who wants the very same thing Connor wants (in the deviant route, that is), and if Markus as much as chooses to trust him instead of executing him there and then, Connor basically puts everything at stake to show just how useful he is, instead of calming down for a moment and reflecting on who he is as a person. He knows he has fucked up, he feels guilty, and the only way he believes this can be fixed is by marching into the tower and awakening tens of thousands of androids at once. You see, Markus has accepted him and his apology already, but in Connor's books, apologising and being forgiven isn’t enough, because that is the point of being forgiven if he can’t deliver? He identifies himself through his actions, a forgiveness that is granted to him as a person because he has shown regret, and not as a result of something he has done for the other, is simply not enough.

Because who is Connor if you take away the acts of service from him? Who is he if he can’t impress someone, get someone's approval, if he doesn’t get told he did well? I don’t think he knows the answer just yet. He doesn’t see himself, the closest thing to an identity he has is seeing his actions reflected back to him by the people he wants to impress.

And you kinda know that the moment he doesn’t have a task, he’s gonna end up in a black hole because he’d be left feeling absolutely empty.

And I think that’s soooo interesting to think about and to explore…

The game ends, but Connor’s journey has just started.

Yeah.

[iliothermia]

I'm really struggling with communication right now, so I'm gonna be a bit distant for a bit. I really appreciate the patience n kindness 💗

[babyleostuff]

NDKDOXHENSKXUEHWBSLODJEBSMKXJEBDBDJLZKDNSNZJJXKDNEMZOJXJEKEOXJEBSIXJEBJXJSKW

[thatoneluckybee]

Going to break into your house with pots and pans and yell at you until you reframe your thinking of productivity to include more than just schoolwork or a salary or chores and the like.

Did you do a thing? Was there a positive result for you or someone else?

Congratulations, you did a Productivity!!!

You aren’t ALWAYS going to be able to have the energy to do what we consider traditionally productive. You won’t always have the motivation.

Yeah, maybe you could have spent two hours studying for that test instead of 15 minutes. Maybe you could have cleaned the kitchen instead of the dishes. And? That’s still something!

Productivity is doing things!! Did you eat food and drink water? You did something that helped your body work! Doodled in class? You made art! Even just posting theories and memes on tumblr dot com is a thing! You thought out the post, figured out how to organize it (even if you don’t realize you did that) and you made it! And now other people can see and you DID something and you should be proud!!!

Be proud of yourself or I am going to show up outside your window tonight and scream positive affirmations louder than a cat who has just discovered her food bowl is empty.