#really not here for the chimney hate

[bibvck]

1x10 A Whole New You 3x10 Christmas Spirit 6x11 In Another Life

[kateis-cakeis]

people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh

(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)

[babyboybuckley]

Idk I feel like today's ep would have been a great segue into talking about the punch bc I STILL wanna know how people reacted to that news

[dbphantom]

I figured it out

You haven't done shit

I figured it out

[salty-autistic-writer]

Buck sits on a hospital bed and looks down at his bandaged hands. Mild burns. They add to the considerable amount of smoke inhalation that makes his throat feel as dry as sandpaper. At least his coughing already got better. Buck's doctor assured him he would be able to leave soon. Too bad there's no home he can return to. 

He stares at his hands and feels … numb. It happened so fast. So fast, it almost seems like a dream. But it’s real. And everything still smells like smoke.

His loft. It’s gone.

In the middle of the night, flames consumed the walls in that scary astonishing speed he’s so well familiar with. And he couldn't stop it.

So many memories. Burnt down to ash. Buried underneath rubble. Gone.

A light knock at the doorframe makes him perk up. Buck expects to see Maddie who left to get some water and a snack. Or Chimney. Or Hen. Or Bobby. But it’s neither one of them.

“Tommy?” Buck looks up, too surprised to prepare himself for the pain he feels when he actually sees Tommy. For the first time in weeks. “What … what are you doing here?”

“I … Howie called me,” Tommy says, avoiding direct eye contact.

“Of course he did,” Buck mutters, looking back down at his hands, picking at a loose thread. Chimney. The ever-hopeful matchmaker.

Tommy clears his throat. “Are you okay?”

Buck flinches. The soft tone with which those words are spoken feels like a punch to his gut.

Are you okay? 

Okay. 

Anger wells up inside Buck’s tight chest like dark ice water, rising to the surface of his mind and fading out all the sadness. Buck glares up at Tommy. “Seriously? That’s what you’re asking about? After weeks of silence. Of nothing. You dare to show up here just like that and ask if I’m okay?!”

It’s Tommy’s turn to wince, his eyes widening slightly. “I’m sorry.”

Somehow, that only makes Buck even angrier. He knows it’s true. Honest. He knows that Tommy cares. And he kind of wishes Tommy wouldn’t. But here they are. Still care about each other way too much.

Tiredness creeps into the murky combination of anger and sadness.

“It burnt,” Buck says quietly.

“What?” Tommy asks.

“My scrapbook. It burnt. All the pictures too. The pictures I put on the fridge. And now I have nothing left.” Buck can feel the tears coming. He doesn’t want them. Doesn’t want to cry in front of Tommy. “All the memories I started to collect. They’re gone.”

I used to look at them. I used to remember the time when I thought I was finally on my way to happiness.  

“It’s all gone,” Buck breathes. And then he really cries.

An ugly sob that escapes his lips. And he hates it. Hates it so much. But he has no energy left to hide.

“Evan,” Tommy says, barely audible. And even though the sadness is suffocating him, Buck has the space for a relieved sigh. Not Buck. Still Even. And it still sounds so right … How does it sound so right after all the wrong directions their path took?

The bed dips as Tommy sits down beside Buck, hesitantly putting a hand on his heaving back. “It’s not all gone,” Tommy says.

Buck wipes at his burning eyes. “It’s not?” He asks, doubtfully.

“No. I … I’ve been collecting memories too. I can share them with you. If you want them,” Tommy says.

“That would be great,” Buck admits, trying to take a deep breath through his stuffed nose with a grimace. “Because … Because they really make me happy. The memories.”

“They do?” Tommy asks, his hand still on Buck’s back, but apparently not daring to move. “Don’t they make you … angry?”

“Not really. Sometimes they make me a little sad. Because I start to think of what could have been,” Buck says. “I start to picture all the happy memories the future might have given me.”

“But you don’t know if those memories would have been happy. What if … What if that future turns out to be so painful that you end up wishing you wouldn’t have lived through it in the first place?” Tommy asks, his voice strained. “Aren’t you scared of what you can’t know?”

Buck shakes his head. “No. I can’t live like that. The future isn’t set in stone. And as long as I think the memories I want to make are worth fighting for … Things will be alright.”

We would have been alright.  

Tommy’s hand is burning him. But when it retreats, Buck almost tells him to put it back. Maybe that’s pathetic. But he can’t find the energy to care.

Tommy is silent for a long moment. He seems lost in his own thoughts, his fingers rubbing over his jean-cladded knees in rhythmic movements.

Buck glances at him. Through a blur of his lingering tears, he suddenly realizes that Tommy looks … rough. 

His edges are sharper. The lines on his face seem deeper. There are shadows under his eyes and he’s close to growing a beard. 

And maybe that’s pathetic too, but Buck suddenly wants to hope that Tommy is feeling that same ache Buck has been feeling for such a long time now. The ache that forces him to bake. To keep his hands busy and his mind empty.

He wonders. What is Tommy doing to soothe his ache?

Buck almost asks.

But before he can, Tommy gets up. He clears his throat. “Are you staying with Maddie and Howie?”

“Yeah,” Buck says quietly. “For now. I guess.”

Tommy nods. He’s chewing on his lower lip. Lingers. Seems like there’s something else he wants to say.

And the silence stretches like a rubber band. The tension is almost palpable in the room.

Finally, Tommy says, “If I would text you in a few days. Would you read it? Would you read it all?”

“I would,” Buck says, remembering the bubbles. “I promise,” he adds.

Tommy exhales shakily. “Okay. Alright. I’m truly sorry, Evan. For the loft. And for what you lost. I can't change what happened. I can’t give the past back to you. But whatever happens, whatever you do after you read what I am going to write, I will give you everything I have. So that you can start a new collection.”

“Thank you,” Buck says, his throat tightening.

Tommy nods. He starts to walk out of the room with slow heavy steps.

Before he can disappear, Buck works up the courage to say, “Tommy. Wait.”

Tommy stops, glancing back at Buck.

“Are … are you okay?” Buck asks.

Tommy’s brows furrow with surprise, but then his eyes soften. “Honestly? No. And I haven’t been in a long time. But I am finding ways to keep the hope alive,” he says. “Goodbye, Evan. Rest well.”

And then he really leaves.

Buck stares into the void and the ache is back. But the pain has a note of hope in its bite. Maybe it’s the same kind of hope Tommy was talking about. And maybe he shouldn’t allow himself to feel it. But he can’t help it.

Apparently, his heart, even though covered in the ash the night left behind, is still convinced that the future he pictured is worth fighting for.

(AO3 Link)

[peppermintquartz]

8x04 Coda: Home Again

-

"Hey honey, I'm home," Tommy sings out from the door.

Evan bursts out from the study, eyes wide and a huge, disbelieving smile on his face. "Tommy!" He runs right up to his boyfriend and hugs him, before planting a big, wet kiss on his mouth, his hands already shoving his bag off his shoulder and rucking his shirt out of his jeans.

Laughing into the enthusiastic welcome, Tommy says, "Easy there, tiger, what's the rush? Also, I'm sorry I missed all the excitement."

"Chimney tranked a tiger today!" Evan says, reluctantly releasing Tommy from his embrace, though he doesn't let go of Tommy's wrists. "He rappelled down to the window of an apartment and tranked it. It was so awesome."

"An actual tiger."

"Uh-huh."

"In an apartment."

"Yup."

Tommy blows out his cheeks. "Aw man, that woulda been a fun call." All he's got was a seminar on updated fire suppression tactics

"Right?" Evan kisses him again, gentler and sweeter. "Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? It's still a little early for dinner, but I know you hate flying commercial, and I bet you haven't eaten on your flight-"

"Baby, Evan, relax. Come here, let me hold you." Tommy hugs his boyfriend and burrows his face into Evan's shoulder. He smells of Tommy's shower gel and shampoo, and he recognizes the jacket and T-shirt. It's good to know Evan missed him as much as Tommy himself did. "It's so good to be home again."

Evan returns the hug, his lips seeking out the soft spot under Tommy's ear. He mumbles, "...this is so much better than Gerrard's."

Tommy must have misheard. He pulls back and frowns at Evan. "What did you say?"

"Uh, this is so much better than Gerrard's?"

What?

"What?"

Evan flushes. "Well, I told you about how I tackled him and he thinks I saved him, and that, um, somehow translated to me being his favorite? Which I really don't want to be? And he hugged me and thanked me? And... Well. He touches me. All the time." He looks miserable, his lower lip sticking out in a pout.

Tommy likes to think he's pretty even-keeled. He's seen how destructive anger can be, so he keeps a tight rein on his own temper. So he is entirely Not Incandescent with Fury at the thought of that decrepit motherfucker laying a single finger on his man.

"Evan. I'm gonna kill him," he says, in a completely non-murderous tone. He is Entirely Rational about this. "Tomorrow. I'm gonna kill him tomorrow."

"What? No, I didn't mean, no, not like creepy touch. Just, uh, uncomfortable. I think he thinks it's... fatherly? Which, I totally do not want." Evan shudders.

Gerrard will be buried in a hole with fire ants and roaches and scorpions. In the middle of the desert. Maybe the killer bees are still around. Tommy will lure them to the desert where Gerrard will be buried and spray him with that perfume.

"He... He took me golfing."

Tommy holds Evan more tightly. "Yeah, I'm gonna kill him. Painfully."

"Honey, we're not married, we wouldn't be able to have conjugal visits when you're in jail." Evan kisses him, rubbing up and down his back soothingly. "And I would rather you direct all that energy and passion to better uses."

Taking a long, deep breath, Tommy rests his forehead against Evan's. "Better uses?"

"Like... how about, showing me what you missed about me?" Evan asks shyly, sliding his hands to Tommy's waist and tugging on his belt. He catches his lower lip in his teeth. "I know I'd rather do that..."

His boyfriend is so smart and full of bright ideas. Tommy licks his lips. "Yeah. Let's do that instead."

[scoutswritingcorner]

Hey sugar~

I want a full fluff no angst request of alastor in the woods finding a lost reader

Monster In The Woods

Alastor x GN!Reader

Song: Like Real People Do by Hozier

TW: Talks about Murder, flashback to Human Alastor

A/N: Hihi Love! Added a teensy bit of angst. Who doesn't love angst?

You grumbled and looked around Alastor’s familiar bayou that was in his room. Your curiosity got the best of you, it was just seemingly endless with moths and fireflies, mud that sticks to your shoes and vines that hang from the trees that look like snakes waiting for you to let your guard down. Figments of alligators hissing and watching as you struggle to make your way further into the bayou, an old house sitting and waiting..inviting you into its warmth with bright light and smoke billowing from the chimney.

A sense of dread filled your body, one that you were too familiar with and hated with a fiery passion. The same feeling that made the golden ring on your finger feel heavier than normal allowing doubt to creep into your mind and anxiety wrap around your heart. Why weren’t you running towards the house? Towards the feeling of safety wrapped in the comfort of an old home..why were you standing in the middle of an open field? You were an unsuspecting doe about to get shot down…why was this so familiar?

Hands cupped your face, warm and sticky with blood as you sobbed out, whispers of words you couldn’t hear truthfully. You watched as his face- your husband's face twisted in fear and concern but his eyes told a different story, he was angry. Not at you, never at you. His hands brought you to his chest as your senses finally caught up to you. Ringing in your ears, chest heaving from the lack of oxygen in your lungs, your leg and stomach hurt. The same substance that was coating your hands had coated your leg and stomach. You were bleeding. There was so much blood. His words had fallen on deaf ears as a man laid face first into the mud and dirt not too far away, blood mixing into the earth. 

Oh right, you were running from the man and a trap snagged your leg good, ripping tendons in your leg. Then a shot rang out as you tried to get your leg out of the trap, distant slurs as the drunken man held a gun up aimed for your head. All you wanted to do was check up on your husband, you made this journey many times before why was this the outcome of it? As you began praying to a god you possibly never believed in, you never really visited the churches when you were younger. But you always did with your husband under the guise you were just going to work with him after. Yet here you were sobbing and panicking, whispering out how you wanted to absolve all your sins to God.

But it never came, the gun was dropped and subsequently caused the gun to go off. Bullet shooting out into the Louisiana swamps, the sun casting its last dying light upon your form as the moon was rising from behind the old shack.  Blood spurted out from the neck of the unknown man as your husband stood behind him, clothes drenched in blood as the knife in his was dropped to the muddy ground. You sobbed out in his arms..bleeding out, was this how you were going to die?

A familiar clawed hand squeezed your shoulder as familiar static nipped at your skin, another reaching over to wipe the fresh tears from your eyes. “Come come, let’s not dwell on the past, Darling.” He whispered out as you looked up at him. His crimson eyes that were always watching and moving waiting for the wrong movement, softened as he watched tears stain your cheeks. “I’m sorry..I got curious…” You whispered out watching him wave it off as he grabbed your hand, lifting it to kiss the golden band.  

Guiding you out of the bayou easily, he tapped his cane on the ground beside him, “No need to apologize, Darling. Let me go run you a warm bath, yes” He asked, watching as you nodded from the corner of his eye a soft smile graced your lips at the thought. “...Stay with me?” You asked, glancing up at your husband. He let out a soft chuckle and kissed the side of your head, arm wrapping around your waist.

“Of course, Dear.” He whispered out, finally putting those worries in your head to rest. He hated seeing that look in your eyes..the same look you gave him all those years ago in the bayou as he held you during your last moments. You looked so afraid then..but he wouldn’t make that same mistake again, he would make sure of it. Not even death could pull you both apart.

[lonelychicago]

a new home, a swan dive, a rewrite

buck/eddie, buckley siblings supremacy, daniel lives | teen and up | 6.8k words

“I'm just saying!” Chimney lifts his arms in peace offering. “I saw Eddie smile at his phone. And not a “My son is so adorable and I was just sent a picture of him” kind of smile. More like, “I'm in love” kind of smile.” Daniel pauses, closes his locker slowly, and then turns to look at Chimney with a frown etched between his eyebrows. “How would you even know?” And Chimney, because he is the worst person in the world, and his only purpose in life is to annoy Daniel, smirks, and shrugs. “That's the smile I use for your sister.” Daniel hates it here. “Anyway,” Chimney waves it off. “I'm just curious about who Diaz could be dating. Aren't you?” And Daniel isn't. He really couldn't care less… until he does. or: Daniel Buckley never thought that working at the 118 under the painful reign of Captain Gerrard would amount to anything good. He never, ever thought that it would lead him to his long-lost brother. Or that his co-worker Eddie Diaz would beat him to the punch. But alas, here they are.

read on ao3

[buckleyx]

Hear me out! Eddie Diaz x reader who swears she isn’t good with kids and is a big “I don’t want kids! I hate babies!” Kinda person but secretly loves kids so much and is so good with them like she honestly gets along with kids better than adults

BABY FEVER E.D

the gif i used is not mine! all credit goes to the owner! @cafecitoeddie

Author’s note: I love this request so much bc I'm secretly the same hehe !

Eddie Diaz x GenderNeutral!reader

Warnings: drunk eddie and reader hehe

masterlist

"Oh come on." Eddie whined playfully. A smirk tugged his lips as his hands danced around your waist. His chin rested on top of your shoulder as he peppered your neck in soft short kisses.

It was a beautiful summer evening and to celebrate the warm weather Maddie and Chimney invited everyone over for drinks and BBQ. The atmosphere was peaceful and everyone felt so relaxed. Kids ran around the yard as adults indulged in laughter and conversation. Moments like these you cherished with all your heart.

You noticed Eddie's eyes on you from across the table as you helped Jee-Yun with cutting up her food. Your smile unintentionally grew wider with every laugh and babble she blurted out to you.

After dinner, while everyone was still chatting away but the sun disappeared more and more in darkness, the garden was lit by beautiful garden lights and candles. Jee-Yun's head rested against your chest as you indulged further in conversation. Her eyelids became heavier as she tightly grabbed the plushie you gifted her earlier closer to her body. As you were chatting with your friends you looked up at Eddie who was talking with Buck and Chimney. He paid no mind to their conversation, only having eyes on you. He took a chug from his beer before giving you a soft smile. He was standing next to the fire pit, the sparks made his eyes shimmer.

All these years you convinced yourself and others you were terrible with kids. But now you felt caught, by your own actions, as the toddler on your lap softly snored away.

As the evening continued and it was getting more late, children were safely tucked away in bed and everyone snuggled closer to the warmth of the fire pit with beers in hand, you and Eddie managed to escape the coziness just for a second. You found each other in the kitchen, getting more drinks to continue the party outside.

As soon as you entered the dimly lit house his hands were all over you. You were both pretty drunk and you knew Eddie long enough to know he could get very touchy when intoxicated. And that's what brought you here. To this moment and conversation.

"Eddie, we talked about this." You giggled as his stubble tickled your neck. "I'm not good with kids."

"Come on baby, we both know that's a lie." He said, slightly tilting his head to prove his point. His hand still rested on your hip as the other one traced his fingers over your jaw. "You are honestly, and I mean honestly," He cupped your face, gently tilting your head so you could look at him. "One of the most beautiful and kindest people I have ever met. And I am sure that every kid will agree." Eddie smiled softly, his eyes filled with love as he looked at you.

Your eyes felt glossy after his words. No one has ever shown you so much love as him. You closed your eyes before taking a deep breath, a loving smile appearing on your lips. "I really love you Diaz, you know that right?"

"Hmh, I had a suspicion." He joked before pulling you in for a kiss.

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[whump-imagines]

Meeting the Firefam

Eddie x reader

~1600 words

Warnings: epileptic reader. Hopefully accurately portrayed.

You parked in front of the station and turned off the ignition. Taking one final deep breath, you pushed the door open and stepped out. You didn't know why you were so nervous. Meeting Eddie’s coworkers shouldn't seem so frightening.

What if they hated you? What if they told him to break up with you? You knew they were more like family to him than just coworkers. Their opinions mattered a lot. You had only been dating him a little over a month but you had fallen hard. You really couldn't imagine your life without him and Chris and even Carla.

You needed them to like you.

Making your way inside, you quickly spotted Eddie as he approached. You greeted him with a kiss before he pulled you into a hug.

“Hey, you. How was traffic?” He asked.

You shrugged. “Normal. Slow.” Eddie knew it was your least favorite part about LA.

“I think lunch is almost ready. You ready to meet everyone?”

“No.” You wrapped your hands around his bicep as he started walking toward the trucks.

He leaned over and kissed your temple. “I told you they’re going to love you. You have nothing to worry about.” He pulled you along with him towards Buck and another firefighter beside the truck.

Buck smiled when he spotted you. “Hey, Y/N. Glad you finally decided to come have lunch with us.”

“Hi, Buck. Someone has been persistent.” You looked at Eddie just in time to catch his shrug.

“Y/N, this is Ravi.” Eddie introduced.

Ravi lifted his hand for you to shake. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“You too.”

Eddie pulled you away towards the stairs that led to the loft. You couldn't help but look around at everything. “This is a beautiful building.”

Eddie nodded. “I agree. It's my favorite station in the city.”

You had barely made it to the top of the stairs before you were being engulfed in hugs. “Oh, uh, hi.”

Eddie chuckled. “This is Hen and Chimney.”

“We are so excited to finally meet you. Eddie here won't shut up about you,” Chimney said.

You glanced at Eddie, catching him trying to hide his blush. “I don't talk about her that much,” he argued.

“Constantly,” Hen mouthed at you with a grin.

Next, Eddie led you over to the kitchen. “And this is Cap.”

The man in front of the stove wiped his hands on a dish towel before reaching out for a handshake. “It's Bobby.”

“Nice to meet you. It smells amazing in here.”

Bobby smiled. “Well, thank you. This will be done in a few minutes. Eddie, can you grab everyone down stairs?”

“On it.” Eddie pointed to the couches. “You can make yourself comfortable over there.”

Within ten minutes, everyone was getting settled at the table. Eddie took your hand to pull you up from the couch. As he pulled out a chair for you, you suddenly felt your left arm go numb.

“Oh no.” You mumbled. You reached out towards Eddie as your knees buckled and the world around you disappeared.

Eddie was quick to catch you before you could hit the ground. “Woah. Y/N?” When you didn't open your eyes he slowly lowered you to the floor. Seconds later you were convulsing violently. Eddie couldn't help but to just stare at you in shock.

Chim was on the floor beside Eddie a second later. “Eddie, we got her.”

“I'll grab a med kit,” Hen announced as she ran for the stairs.

Chimney kept you rolled on your side. Bobby stepped closer to pull Eddie away. “They need room to work.”

Eddie tried to resist. “I should help.”

Buck stepped beside his best friend to keep him out of the way.

Bobby stepped towards you and grabbed your foot, pulling off your shoe. “Medical alert. Epilepsy.” He pointed at the shoelace tag as he looked towards Eddie.

Eddie shook his head. “I didn't know. Why didn't she tell me?”

Hen returned with a monitor and med kit and Chim filled her in. “Epilepsy. Let's just give it a minute.”

Eddie pushes past Buck and sat down on the ground by your head. He whispered soft reassurances in case you could hear him.

Chim pulled a pulse ox monitor out of the med kit and clipped it on your finger.

“She's barely breathing,” Eddie pointed out. He knew that was common with seizures but still couldn't help the mild panic he felt.

“That's normal,” Hen reminded him. She started to attach an oxygen mask to the tank she’d carried upstairs just in case.

Next, Chim started to attach cardiac leads to your chest. Once he'd finished, they waited for the seizure to stop.

“That's five minutes,” Bobby pointed out.

Hen and Chim sighed as they locked eyes with each other. “Alright, let's push Ativan,” Chim said.

“I'll start an IV,” Hen announced. “Eddie can you hold her arm?” He did as asked, trying to hold your arm as still as possible without hurting you. “I'm in.”

Chim pushed the meds he'd drawn up as soon as IV was secured. It took about another twenty seconds for the seizure to finally stop.

Everyone let out a relieved breath. Eddie pushed some hair back behind your ear.

“Let's get her loaded up and to the hospital,” Chimney broke the momentary silence.

Hen nodded. “I'll go radio dispatch and get ready.”

Within five minutes you were loaded into the ambulance with Eddie and Chim beside you as Hen shifted into drive.

“Ugh.” You groaned a few minutes later. “N-no hospital,” you mumbled out fighting your grogginess.

Eddie ran his hand over your head. “Yes, hospital.”

You huffed, frustrated you can't get the words out to explain. “E-epi–”

“We know about your epilepsy, we found your alert tag,” Eddie interrupted. “Sweetheart, your seizure lasted almost six minutes. Hen and Chim had to push meds to stop it. You have to go in.”

Your eyebrows rose in surprise. Suddenly you were glad you'd been with them for lunch and not alone at home. You knew he was right and allowed yourself to relax. “Tired.”

Eddie pressed a kiss to your knuckles. “That's the medicine. You can sleep.”

You nodded as your eyes drifted closed. You weren't sure you could have stayed awake even if you'd tried.

A few hours later, you were finally settled into a room after being poked and prodded. They had run all kinds of tests trying to figure out what might have caused the long seizure.

“Anything I can get for you?” the nurse asked.

You shook your head as you shifted in an attempt to find a comfortable position. Every muscle was sore.

“Okay. I'll let your visitors know they can come in now, if that's alright with you,” the nurse says as she walks toward the door.

“Visitors? Plural?” You ask surprised.

“You have a whole herd of firefighters waiting out there for you,” she explains.

“Oh, wow. Could you just send Eddie in for now?”

She smiles kindly. “Of course, honey.”

Eddie pushes the door open not five minutes later. He pulls up a chair and takes your hand in his, careful to avoid your IV line.

“Hi,” you greeted

“Hi. How ya feeling?” He asked.

“Kinda like someone put me through a blender.”

He chuckled and nodded. “You scared me. I'm just glad Bobby noticed your medical alert tag.”

“I'm sorry,” you sighed. “This is definitely not how I planned to tell you about my epilepsy.”

He locks eyes with you. “So you were planning to tell me.” He looks annoyed or maybe hurt that you hadn't already told him.

“Eventually.” You drop your gaze to the bed. “It's not exactly an easy conversation. It's caused a few break ups over the years.”

“What do you mean?” He looks genuinely confused.

“I'm too much to deal with. No one wants to deal with seizures,” you try to explain. “And you already have to deal with sick people all day at work. I'm sure the last thing you want to do is deal with the same at home.” You sniffle. “I'll understand if you want out now.”

“Y/N,” Eddie said, placing a finger under your chin to make you look at him. “I love you. This could never change that. Any guy who dumped you because of this is an asshole.”

Tears rolled down your face before you were suddenly sobbing, relief washing over you in waves.

Eddie moved quickly to sit beside you on the bed. Pulling you into his side and shishing you softly.

You had been so worried about telling him for so long. “I-I'm sorry. I should have told you.” You sniffled harshly. “I should have known you'd accept this part of me.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I know now. That's all that matters.”

Eventually you calmed down but you were beyond exhausted. “Hey, isn't everyone still out there waiting?”

“Yeah.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I'll text them that you're okay and let them know they can head home.”

Placing a hand over his screen, you shook your head. “No. I want to see them.”

“You need to rest,” he argued. “They can come back tomorrow or we can go to the station if you're discharged.”

“Just a quick visit. Please? Fifteen minutes.”

Sighing, he stood from where he was still perched on the bed. “Ten.”

“Deal.”

[cjlouwho]

prompt: those pictures of buck make me think he's going to be endlessly harassed by Gerrard. I'd like to see something where it builds up until he kinda has a breakdown. maybe at home, with tommy?

It'd been a bad month. Possibly the worst of his life, and that was saying a lot. Twenty-four hour shifts were usually simple for him, but nothing was simple when Gerrard was in charge.

He was two hours into his fourth shift with the new captain when Gerrard found out that Buck was dating a man. Not just any man. A man that Gerrard seemed to particularly despise.

And maybe he should have thought better before blurting out that Tommy was his boyfriend, but he hated Gerrard and a part of him thought it might be fun to play with the man's mind a little.

He was wrong.

Tommy had dropped him off for work after he and Buck had accidentally fallen asleep after a particularly eventful night. Thankfully, Buck kept a change of clothes in his locker, so it really hadn't been much of a problem. He had forgotten his house keys and wallet at Tommy's though, so he was pleasantly surprised to get a visit from him a couple hours later.

Tommy had approached cautiously, but once Eddie informed him that Gerrard left to run an errand, he relaxed and let Buck pull him in for a brief kiss.

Tommy talked to the team for a bit, getting filled in on the endless cleaning they now had to do. How they had to fake bathroom breaks to get a moment to text or make a phone call.

In less than ten minutes, Tommy was heading back out the door. “See you guys soon,” he said, giving them a wave before pointing to Buck and smiling, “and see you tomorrow night.”

Just as Tommy had rounded the corner out the side door, Gerrard was walking in the front. “Was that Kinard?” he asked, disgust evident in his voice.

“Yes, Sir,” Eddie replied.

“Hm. What was he doing here?”

“Had to drop off something,” Chimney answered before Buck could even open his mouth. “Had a delivery meant for here that got sent to Harbor instead.”

“Can't even trust the postal service to do their job right these days,” he grunted out.

The group started back on their cleaning, but Gerrard blocked Buck's way. “Thought I heard you got plans with Kinard tomorrow, Buckley. That right?”

“Y- Yeah, it is. I mean, I do... have plans.”

“Huh. You didn't strike me as the type to hang out with a guy like that.”

“What do you mean?” Buck asked, face scrunched up in confusion. “A guy like what?”

“You know,” Gerrard shrugged. “Soft. Weird. Sissy-like.”

Buck could feel his face heating up. “I'm not sure those are the words I'd use to describe him.”

“You gotta watch yourself around people like him, Buckley. Men like us,” he said, making his hands into fists to flex his muscles, “we've got a reputation to withhold. Show the world real, manly strength still exists.”

Buck wasn't exactly sure what to say. He had known Gerrard was a terrible captain, had heard the stories from Hen, Chim, and Tommy, but this was so far out there he briefly wondered if he'd been transported back to the 1950's.

“I- I'm still not following.”

Gerrard rolled his eyes. “You're not stupid, kid. Kinard is... I'd say it right out, but you can't say anything these days without offending someone.” He nudged his head in Hen's direction.

So Buck said the words for him. “He's gay?”

Looking back at this moment, maybe he should have paid attention when Eddie came up behind Gerrard and motioned for him to cut it out.

Gerrard raised his hands up in surrender. “You said it, not me.”

“Yeah, I did,” Buck replied with a nod. The rage building inside him made him feel like he was left with no choice but say the next words that fell out of his mouth. “He's also my boyfriend.”

He could see Eddie in his peripheral, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

Watched as Gerrard's face turned from pale white to tomato red. A rage coming over him like Buck had never seen on a human before.

And that's what started the shifts from hell.

Gerrard, in those first shifts before knowing Buck's sexuality, had been rough. He was a grumpy, old man who demanded respect and attention that he didn't deserve. But he didn't pick on any specific person. They were all equal targets.

Until they weren't.

It was almost as though Gerrard felt like he'd been betrayed by Buck. Like Buck was supposed to be the one person at the station that was on his side, and finding out this single piece of information destroyed any and all possibility of that happening.

He had an endless string of one liners at his disposal, specifically for Buck, to use at any given time. And he used them every opportunity he got.

Buck could never do anything right. Nothing was ever cleaned properly and the equipment wasn't put away the way it should be. Gerrard didn't hesitate to reprimand him during calls. In fact, that seemed to be what he enjoyed the most. Anytime Buck tried to speak up he'd be brushed off or told his ideas were ridiculous.

When they had to line up at the start of their shifts, there would always be something wrong with Buck's uniform, or his hair, or the way he was standing.

He'd been put on cooking duty too. But it wasn't fun the way it was when Bobby was in charge.

Being on cooking duty with Gerrard was it's own special punishment. He decided all the meals, regardless of what anyone else wanted. He expected a full breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and he wanted them all at very specific times.

It was all food that Buck knew how to cook, but to Gerrard it was never done right.

“Too salty.”

“Too sweet.”

“Why'd you cook the meat so long? It's like leather.”

“Why's the meat still red in the center? You trying to kill me?”

“I hate cilantro.”

“You cook like this for Kinard? Must not be many options left for him.”

That was another problem. Gerrard brought up Tommy every chance he got.

“You kids today are so sensitive. Kinard used to laugh at all my jokes.”

“You keep your home this messy? Huh. Can't believe your boy toy puts up with that. He really has gone soft.”

“Kinard used to be my right hand man. Hate to think of what he's doing with that hand now... You probably know all about that though, don't ya, Buckley?”

*****

Buck had just gotten off a twelve hour shift when he headed home to start dinner. It was six o'clock by the time he entered the loft and Tommy would be over in an hour.

He was still shaky from all the things Gerrard had said to him today. Comments about Tommy, comments about him. Buck had tried to not let his words get to him, but that was proving more and more difficult each day. There were only so many different ways you could hear how worthless you were before you started to believe it.

He took a shower to try and help calm himself down before heading into the kitchen to get started on dinner.

Seared lamb chops, mashed potatoes, and glazed carrots were on the menu for tonight. Then a pre-made sweet wine cake for dessert.

Things fell apart pretty quickly.

He was deep in an internal conversation (fight) with Gerrard as he peeled the potatoes, causing him to slice right across his finger. Once he'd cleaned up the blood and gotten a bandaid, he remembered that he hadn't turned the oven on to preheat for the carrots.

While the oven preheated, he got the potatoes boiling and got the carrots laid out on a pan.

Then he started looking around the counter for the lamb chops, which he was supposed to let sit out for twenty minutes before he started to cook them.

He could have sworn he took them out before he got his shower but, lo and behold, there they were in the fridge.

He shoved the carrots into the oven and got started on the lamb. He didn't have enough time to let them sit out now.

By the time Tommy knocked on the door twenty minutes later, Buck felt like a big ball of nervous and panicked energy.

“Come in!” he yelled, not bothering to turn away from the lamb.

“Hey you,” Tommy said casually as he entered the loft. The overall calmness of his voice somehow stressed Buck even more.

“Hey.”

“It smells amazing in here.” Tommy came up behind Buck, set a bottle of something down on the counter, then wrapped his arms around his waist. He pressed a kiss to Buck's neck. “Missed you.”

Usually, Buck wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in Tommy's arms. Tonight, it just felt too hot.

“Yeah, y- you too,” Buck replied, trying to sound as normal as possible.

Either it didn't work, or Tommy could sense how tense he was, because the next words out of his mouth were, “You okay?”

Somehow, Buck managed to turn toward him and fake a smile. “Yeah, I'm good. Just don't want the lamb to burn.”

Tommy gave Buck a peck on the lips before letting him return his attention to the lamb. “I brought wine,” he said, picking up the bottle again.

“Oh, good. You can put it in the fridge, or leave it out on the table if you want, or-” he whipped around, “God, I forgot to set the table!”

“I can set it,” Tommy offered.

“I wanted to have it all done before you got here.” Buck moved toward the drawers that held his good napkins, pulling them out before slamming the drawer shut. The noise caused Tommy to jump a little. Buck headed for the silverware next, tossing each utensil on top of the napkins and once again slamming the drawer. “I don't even have the wine glasses out or anything.”

Before he could pick up the napkins and silverware, Tommy placed his hand over it. “Really, Evan. I've got it. Are you sure you're okay?”

Buck sighed, letting Tommy take control of setting the table. “Yes, I'm okay.”

There was a heavy silence in the air while Tommy got the table ready.

Finally, Buck broke it. “You like your meat medium, right?”

“Yeah, that'd be perfect.”

“Great.”

Tommy paused on his way to get the glasses. That great did not sound very good.

“What's wrong?” he asked.

“Well, they're already passed medium. They're medium well.”

“That's fine. I'm not really picky.”

Buck huffed. “You just said medium was perfect for you.” The words came out harsher than he intended, but he couldn't find it in him to care. He'd ruined the most important part of the meal already, and the fact Tommy had been so nonchalant since he stepped into the apartment was only making things worse.

“Medium well is perfect too. I really don't care how my meat is cooked, Evan.”

Buck turned off the stove and moved the lamb to a different eye so they would stop cooking. He grabbed an oven mitt and pulled the carrots out of the oven.

The second he saw them, he felt enraged.

“Damn it!” he exclaimed, practically throwing the pan onto the counter. “I forgot to put the glaze on them.”

Tommy eyed him for a second before moving closer. “It's fine, Evan,” he said, placing a hand on Buck's arm. “They look really good.”

Buck shrugged him off. “No. They'd be really good if I put the glaze on them, but I forgot it. Damn it!”

“Babe-”

“Oh my God!” Buck hurried back to the stove and turned off the potatoes. “I overcooked them! They're gonna be too mushy now!” He wasn't sure what it was, but his eyes were now both blurring and burning.

Tommy was trying his best to keep up with each dilemma that was happening. “We're having mashed potatoes, honey, I don't think it matters how mushy they are.”

“Yes, it does, Tommy! God, you don't get it!” He dumped the entire pot of potatoes into the sink, making it the disposal's problem now.

“Okay, that's enough,” Tommy said, his voice soft yet commanding. “Come here.” He came up behind Buck, who had his hands gripped on the countertop and his head hanging low. Tommy placed an arm around Buck's waist and guided him around until he was wrapped in Tommy's arms. He buried his face into Tommy's neck as he started to sob. His whole body shook with the force of his cries, tears pouring out and running down onto Tommy's shirt.

Just something else to add to the list of things Buck had ruined tonight.

Tommy only held him tighter. One arm around his back, keeping Buck steady. The other on his head, rubbing gently against his scalp.

They stood there for a few minutes, until Buck calmed enough to speak. “I'm sorry,” he whimpered out against Tommy's neck.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Tommy assured him. He ran his hand up and down Buck's back. “Let's go sit down, okay?”

Tommy led them to the couch, cradling Buck in his arms as soon as they sat down. Buck closed his eyes as he rested against Tommy's chest, letting himself be soothed by the way Tommy's hand ran up and down his back. He provided just enough pressure to relieve the tension in his muscles.

They were quiet for a while. And although he'd calmed down quite a bit, tears still escaped out of his eyes and down his face. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried like this.

“It's Gerrard, isn't it?” Tommy asked.

He didn't need Buck to answer. The shaky intake of breath told him all he needed to know.

“This is so stupid,” Buck said, wiping tears from his cheeks. “I- I'm acting like a child.”

Tommy shook his head. “It's not stupid, Evan.” He tugged lightly on Buck until he was sitting up enough for them to look at one another. He brought his hand to Evan's, keeping them intertwined as they talked. “Talk to me. What's going on?”

And that's when the dam broke. Once Buck got started, he couldn't stop. He told Tommy about all the ways he'd been picked on, the comments Gerrard had made, the things he'd said about Tommy. He talked about the way Gerrard spoke of their relationship, and made it seem like Buck was one mistake away from Tommy walking out the door.

Buck told him that even though he knew it wasn't true, it still messed with his head to hear it during every shift, over and over again.

“So he's been harassing you for a while now. Does the rest of the team know about all of this?”

Buck sniffed. “Some of it. Not everything. They couldn't do anything about it anyway. Hen and Chimney have to walk the line right now, because of Mara.”

“And Eddie?”

“He's got his... own stuff going on.”

“Hm.” Tommy wasn't too impressed by that answer, but that was a problem for another time. “You know you could have told me, right? I don't want you to think you have to hide this stuff from me.”

“Didn't want you to h- have to relive it. You already dealt with him, and I felt kinda dumb for it bothering me so much.”

“Evan, it's different. Gerrard didn't do any of that stuff to me. I wasn't out then, and I told you he didn't make me a better person. You shouldn't be having to deal with this every time you go in for a shift. It's not dumb that this bothers you. I don't know anyone that it wouldn't bother.”

“I just... I thought about filing a complaint, ya know? But,” a stray tear fell down his cheek, “I don't think I'd have anyone to back me up,” he admitted. “And even though it's anonymous, he'd know it was me.”

Tommy nodded. He understood how tricky filing complaints could be. It was what started the rift between him and Gerrard. Wheels were already turning in his head on what he could possibly do. He'd need to speak with his own captain, maybe Bobby, definitely Eddie, and possibly get a word in with the chief. But, if something could be done, he would do it to make sure he never had to see Evan this upset ever again.

“We'll figure something out,” he said, determined.

“Yeah. Yeah, o- okay.”

“And Evan,” Tommy scooted even closer to him, gently cupping Evan's face in his hands. He wiped away the remaining wetness from Buck's cheeks, staring deeply into his eyes as he spoke. “You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm not just saying that, I mean it. None of what that man said is true, but even if it was, I wouldn't care. I don't care if every meal you ever cooked was wrong, I don't care if your house wasn't perfectly clean, I don't care about any of it. Only you. Got it?”

Buck nodded, allowing himself to fall forward into Tommy's chest and be cradled by him again. “Yeah,” he replied, closing his eyes as Tommy comforted him. “Yeah, I got it.”

[rcmclachlan]

7x09 deleted scene coda

For the anon who requested it! Hope this is as fun to read as it was to write.

When Buck sighs, it sounds despondent, even to his own ears, which is insane considering he’s finally got a medal and isn’t being court martialed for his involvement in the theft of municipal property. There’s no reason to feel this put out.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?" Maddie asks, her patented kindness warring with incredulity bordering on annoyance. She used to sound like that whenever he’d get caught skipping school to go hang out at Swatara Creek.

He sighs again. "No."

"Because you’ve been staring at the dessert table for, like, four whole minutes," she says. 

"It's a free country, Mads," he reminds her without looking away from the golden idol he’s just now decided to start worshiping. It totally goes against the Ten Commandments, but according to Eddie, breaking one of those means you can just repent twice as hard. Or something like that. It’s becoming very apparent that Eddie’s whole thing with religion is kind of screwy. "I can stare at a platter of cannolis if I want. Because of freedom." 

"You know you can't absorb sugar molecules through osmosis, right? You're basically just torturing yourself." 

With one last longing look at the chocolate chips dotting the ricotta cream, he turns to her and sticks his tongue between his teeth to be a brat. "Yeah, but my Adonis belt lines can cut glass, so who’s really losing here?" 

The look she gives him is flat as a board. "Still you."

"I… don’t have a comeback for that right now, but I’m working on it," he promises, ignoring her eye roll in favor of searching for something else to focus his attention on. It usually helps to take his mind off the ketonic headache he’s been rocking for the last week. 

His gaze locks on his target with an almost audible click, and he watches Captain Vincent Gerrard stop to take a photo with some dark-haired woman and then make a face behind her back as soon as she walks away. 

That "heard you got your wings" comment has been bouncing off the walls of his mind like a DVD player screensaver for the last half hour, and hot on its heels is the memory of the muscle jumping in Tommy’s jaw in the pause that followed. Normally, Tommy would’ve stuffed that silence with at least two comments so dry and hilarious it would take a minute for anyone to realize they were the shiny wrappers around devastating insults. But he didn’t. It was like his jaw was wired shut, and it physically pained Buck to see it. Thank god Chim was there with a killer response at the ready. 

Tommy’s told him a little about his time under Gerrard and while he hasn’t exactly painted a picture he’s definitely drawn the outline of a paint-by-numbers image that Buck can easily color in. 

There are very few people Buck can say he truly hates, especially when he doesn’t actually know them himself. But he hates Gerrard. He hates him for the way he made and still makes Tommy feel like he has to be someone else, someone so incredibly different than the man Buck has come to know and utterly adore. He hates him for stealing the grin off Chimney’s face today. He hates Gerrard for getting into Buck’s own head and pulling his focus in the first place, for casting a shadow on what should’ve been a perfect day. 

Buck may not be eating sugar these days, but there are about sixty Domino packets in his pockets that will be getting up close and personal with Gerrard’s gas tank before the day’s through.

"Huh. Wonder what that’s about."

Blinking away the red haze from his vision, Buck gives Gerrard’s back a little sneer before he turns his head to see what Maddie’s talking about. He follows her gaze across the room to where Hen and Karen are standing in front of Tommy, shoulder to shoulder like they’re presenting a united front. It’s amazing how they make someone of Tommy’s height and build look small. Whatever it is they’re discussing, it looks grave. Maybe the pall of Gerrard’s presence is affecting more than just Tommy. Maybe it’s opened up old wounds from the days when Tommy was—by Tommy’s own admission—an asshole.

He starts getting to his feet to go over and assess the situation, but suddenly Tommy breaks away from Hen and Karen, and the second he’s beyond their line of sight, the corners of his mouth curve up. By the time Tommy makes it back to their table, plate of cake in hand, he’s beaming.

"Everything… okay?" 

"Everything’s great." Tommy pulls out the seat next to him and wiggles a little as he sits. Buck’s never really understood the phrase "pleased as punch," but he’s starting to get an inkling. 

Buck looks at Maddie, who widens her eyes and shrugs. "Uh, what were you talking about? It looked pretty serious."

Taking a practically pornographic bite of the cake—which is just plain mean—Tommy holds up a finger, smiling while he chews, before he swallows. He presses his knee to Buck's and says cheerfully, "I just got the shovel talk."

"The what?"

Across the table, Maddie rolls her eyes fondly and says, "You know what a shovel talk is, Evan. It's the verbal equivalent of a dad cleaning his shotgun on the porch when his daughter's prom date shows up."

Tommy nods in agreement. "You know: 'if you break his heart, I'll break your knees.'"

It feels like Buck's eyebrows are trying to make a daring escape from his face via his hairline. "Hen threatened to break your knees?"

"Not in so many words, but it was heavily implied." Tommy sounds positively thrilled about it. "They wanted to know if my intentions toward you were honorable. Although I think Karen was just fishing for details, to be honest." 

Maddie's eyes are bright when she leans forward, like this is the juiciest bit of gossip she's ever heard. Buck crumbles up his napkin and throws it at her. She peaceably lets it bounce off her head. "And? What'd you say?"

"That we're taking it slow."

His jaw drops, which only serves to remind him that it's still aching from this morning. "So you lied?"

"I did not," Tommy says primly, knocking his knee against Buck's. "But I also did some heavy implying of my own." 

The wink he tosses Buck's way is downright filthy, and when he takes another bite of his cake he rumbles so deeply with pleasure that the table practically vibrates.

Squirming a little in his chair, with the familiar heat that blossoms any time he's within ten feet of Tommy making its way down his chest and into his belly, Buck scans the room to see if there's an empty coat closet somewhere nearby. The reception's loud enough that no one would hear a thing. Probably. Buck's starting to gain a reputation for being a bit of a screamer.

A fork taps his knuckles lightly, bringing his attention back, and Tommy gives him one of those knowing looks that always leave Buck feeling breathless and exposed on an atomic level. 

"No." The corner of Tommy's mouth curls up, and he nods at Evan's plate of chicken wings. "Eat your protein."

It's truly terrible, incredible timing that Chimney comes back to the table from wherever he went just in time to hear Buck say, voice full of sleaze, "Between our shower this morning and the buffet, I've hit my protein quota for the day."

Without a word, Chimney turns around and walks in the opposite direction.

Maddie collapses into her folded arms, cackling, and Buck can't help but join in. Tommy drops his head into his hands, shoulders shaking. 

"Timing is everything," Maddie practically cries.

"Well, I'm definitely getting kicked out of the group chat," Tommy says through his laughter. "Worth it."

Snickering, Buck nudges him with an elbow. It should feel like hitting the side of a mountain, but Tommy obligingly lets himself be moved, and Buck's rib cage feels like it's both expanding and shrinking at an exponential rate. His bones are going to vibrate to dust and his heart is going to be on display for everyone to see.

Swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat, he says, "Hey, most people aren't usually this happy to be threatened with grievous bodily harm, you know. Is this a rom-com thing?"

Still chuckling a little, Tommy takes a thoughtful bite of his cake and shrugs. "I'm allowed to be happy about it."

"Are you?"

"Absolutely," Tommy says, with his signature decisiveness. He slides his fork down through layers of cake and delicately cuts himself a corner with a frosting flower. "This is the first time anyone's ever cared enough to threaten me about someone I'm with. It means this is real to them."

He punctuates that by gesturing with his fork, the flower drawing a sugary line in the space between them, and then brings it to his mouth with a pleased hum. 

Buck has seen at least twenty documentaries about nuclear bombs, with enough footage that Buck could describe in great, gory detail what blast, fire, and radiation can do to someone, to a city. 

J. Robert Oppenheimer's famous quote, used in at least half of those documentaries—if the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky—suddenly comes to mind, damn near taking Buck out at the knees, and he stares dumbly as Tommy chews his cake like he didn't just devastate the entire landscape.

Maddie lifts her head from her arms and catches Buck's eye. There's something gentle and sweet lurking in her gaze, and he ducks his head a little with a smile, feeling caught out, even though he's not the one courting mayhem this time.

The knee pressed to his knocks against it again, and Buck blinks, startled out of his daze, to find a tiny dollop of white frosting held out to him on Tommy's fork. He looks just beyond it to where Tommy's smiling at him, like he knows exactly what he was doing when he said that, and is even happier about it than he was about his kneecaps being on the line.

"It's yours if you want it," Tommy says easily. It sounds like he's offering something else.

Heart pounding, Buck leans forward and wraps his lips around the edges of the tines, taking that small offering onto his tongue where it hits with the intensity of a thermonuclear explosion.

Buck doesn't know what his face is doing, but it makes Tommy's gaze go dark with want. 

A throat clears, and Buck reluctantly looks away to where Maddie is sitting. She's staring at Tommy with an odd smile on her face, one he doesn't think he's ever seen before. It's beautiful, of course, because all her smiles are, but there's an odd promise in it that makes Buck sit up a little straighter.

"Maddie?" 

She doesn't even spare him a glance. "You break his heart? There's no helicopter in the world that will help you escape from me."

Tommy's eyes go wide, and Buck opens his mouth to tell him that she's kidding, that she would never, but he closes it because it feels like it would be a lie to say it.

But a grin breaks over Tommy's face like a sunrise, and the tilled-field lines at the corners of his eyes threaten to become trenches. "Good to know."

It sounds like he's never been so happy in his entire life.

Read on AO3

[lenaboskow]

i'm bored at work so here's an updated list of everything tommy kinard has ever said or done that makes him a bad person who hasn't changed/learned from his mistakes (even if he's not being inherently/explicitly racist anymore) (before you come at me for saying people can change, here's my previous pinned post from 7x05 that explains how he hasn't. i go into it more here about the back half of the season, but all of these points still stand)

season two

chimney begins

the first thing tommy says to/about chimney is "did you forget to tip the delivery driver?". if it wasn't for the fact that they had asian food delivered and chimney is asian, this could've been passed off, but instead they chose to have the first act of racism/general harassment be done by tommy, not the racist captain.

then when they return from a call and see chimney dutifully cleaning, tommy says to chimney: "you're still here?". not inherently racist, but still rude

we get some montages of chimney being left out/harrasef, and tommy is always at the forefront. it culminates in the locker room scene where tommy says "i don't think about you enough to hate you", which again isn't inherently racist but it is rude.

at the end, the only way chimney manages to earn a semblance of respect from tommy is by saving his life, which is fucked up. you shouldn't have to save someone's life to he treated with dignity. but fine, maybe tommy learned his lesson, right?

wrong

hen begins

at the beginning, tommy, chimney, gerrard, and a few others are standing up in the loft while hen walks in. gerrard says a few racist/sexist words, and chim stands up for her. tommy just stands there, not even looking like he might want to say something. not saying something when it happens is almost as bad as doing, and obviously chimney, who'd been there a shorter time, was brave enough to stand up for her.

then tommy, during a meal, tommy says about hen: "new york bitchiness is a compliment?". there's no non sexist explanation for this comment

actually that entire meal, he ignores chimney's attempts move the conversation away, which says a lot

again, general enabling of the racism and sexism

during hen's "see me" speech, tommy looks pissed off to be there, and then proceeds to look annoyed when he apologizes to her at the end of the episode (if you can even call it that)

post begins episodes

now, we don't know a whole lot about how hen and chimney interacted with tommy after the events of their begins episodes, but we do know they weren't close enough to keep in touch after. chimney loses touch for two years immediately after he leaves, and by season seven hen forgot that tommy worked at harbor. i don't know about you, but that doesn't seem like behavior for people who worked closely for ten years.

season seven

7x04

this episode was from buck's pov, so it's actually the time where tommy is the most tolerable. that doesn't mean he doesn't have his moments, though:

calling buck "kid" and "evan" is a weird way to introduce a love interest. tommy calling him "kid" shows that tommy is aware of the age difference, which as i explain here is at least the same as buck and abby's (and here why that screenshot of tim saying he's 40 is irrelevant). also, tommy calls buck "evan" with no on screen explanation, and we know that lou was explicitly told tommy isn't "allowed" to call him buck. you know the only other characters who aren't allowed to call him buck? his parents. that's all I'll say.

we don't really see much of tommy again until the basketball scene, and then it's focused on buck and eddie anyways, so the next time we see him and buck really interact is the loft scene (which is telling about who buck was trying to get the attention of, but that's a different conversation). in this scene, tommy makes a condescending remark about how "we weren't trying to make you feel left out" and "eddie can have more than one friend", which... again, brings us back to the age difference because it sounds like (in context) that tommy is reprimanding a child. having them kiss right after that was definitely an interesting choice (in terms of their relationship)

7x05

oh the date. i have so many feelings about this. we know that tommy knows buck isn't out, because buck told maddie they purposely picked an out of the way spot, and despite the face tommy made at the comment, he didn't seem surprised when buck told him it was his "first date with a dude" (it seemed more like a "i already know this, you don't have to repeat it" face). because of this, the way tommy acted when eddie showed up and freaked buck out has no excuse. the closet comment? even if tommy didn't know buck wasn't out and decided he didn't want to date someone who wasn't out, he shouldn't have made that comment knowing it could out buck to his best friend, who he clearly wasn't ready to tell. lucky for buck, eddie's an idiot (affectionate) with a one track mind (buck) and didn't register the comment.

then we have tommy leaving buck at the curb. leaving the date isn't the problem, it's the fact that he didn't tell buck until he got in the uber, which obviously upset buck (though he was admittedly more upset over lying to eddie). the rest of the episode is spent on buck coming out to eddie, and we don't see tommy again until buck is apologizing for the date, which... why should buck have to apologize for not being ready to come out? buck did nothing wrong on the date. if you just figured out you were queer and hadn't had the chance to tell your best friend before they accidentally crashed your date, you'd react the same way, don't try to tell me otherwise. it was tommy who should've apologized, plain and simple.

7x06

the bachelor party. tommy's excuse for not dressing up made no sense to me... he was obviously going to have to change anyways, so why not put in a little effort for your date? i see people saying that only eddie put effort in, but henren was dressed too, just more subtly. tommy chose not to dress up, and made a half hearted excuse of "they had henleys in the 80s" (which you would know, wouldn't you, 70s baby?)

then we have tommy leaving, which fair he's on call, and we don't see him again until the hospital kiss. this is the only time we see tommy look remotely interested in buck the entire episode (every other time he has an rbf face, even when they're hugging).

7x09

we only see tommy during the medal ceremony, and he still manages to say something to piss me off. "enjoy it while it lasts" because he can't indulge his boyfriend for two seconds. it's becoming a pattern, i'm afraid

7x10

the date scene was a weird way to end their s7 relationship. buck was opening up about his trauma, tried to find middle ground by saying "so we both have daddy issues" (nothing in the context made it seem sexual, in fact i didn't realize until tommy made the joke, so it's possible buck didn't either) and then tommy says "i don't" despite admitting that he did only a few seconds before. buck says with a slightly resigned (barely there, but still there) tone, "but you think i do" and tommy responds with "god i hope so". any other context and it would've been fine, but buck had just been talking ahout how his father figure literally died and came back to life. there's a post somewhere (pretty sure it was an ask someone sent me actually, if i can find it i'll link)that talks about how buck has a habit of going along with his love interests to avoid causing waves, and how that's exactly what buck was doing in 7x10, and it makes perfect sense. if buck had a problem with it, he wouldn't immediately say. he'd sit on it for weeks before even considering bringing it up (like natalia and death, and how he avoided taylor in s5). even if he wasn't uncomfortable, it doesn't take away from the fact that the timing was weird and buck wasn't in a good headspace to respond properly.

in conclusion

tommy is repeatedly a bad person. just because he hasn't said anything racist or sexist since season two, it doesn't negate this. you'll notice that almost all of his scenes are here, if not all. the writers have chosen to have him repeatedly look bad and like someone who only cares about himself (with the way he constantly tries to defend his actions by blaming gerrard, and how he only cares about his feelings about being out), but the bt stans are too excited at the prospect of two white men kissing (or just two men and they don't care who, thus dumping eddie, it depends on the bt) that they choose to look past it and hate on ryan/eddie instead.

these last three months in the fandom have felt so different compared to the rest. the fandom i knew pre s7 would never act this way. is it because lou is a nepo baby? i know it's not because of his looks. but either way, i'm disappointed, and hope s8 treats us (fans who actually care about the characters and don't actively want less for them) better

(if i missed anything, let me know and i'll edit the post to add it)

[devildomwriter]

Obey Me as Disenchantment Quotes #1

Lucifer & Satan: *Laughing maniacally*

Simeon: “While I question their evil motives, it is nice to see them happy.”

Barbatos: “Now announcing the triumphant return of our heroes from their quest that we all privately thought would fail.”

Mammon & Leviathan: “…”

Lucifer: “How do we even know it worked.”

Solomon: “Oh but it must have worked. Now to test it, we need a volunteer to kill you.”

Belphegor: “Dibs.”

Barbatos: “How can you keep messing up a recipe with two ingredients?”

Solomon: “If you ever run into trouble give them this note.”

MC: “Kill me?”

Solomon: “Thirteen gave it to me, now I give it to you.”

Leviathan: “I’ve been meaning to…but the thing is, I…so you see…well, I’m glad we had this talk. How bout you talk now?”

MC: “But you haven’t said anything yet.”

Belphegor: “Well I was waiting to tell you until after I was dead so I wouldn’t have to tell you.”

Mammon: “Now just keep holding on, okay. Just keep holding on.”

MC: “It’s okay, it’s okay Mammon, I always wanted to go out while I’m still young and hot.”

Leviathan: “I didn’t want to tell you because I’m terrified of female emotions.”

Satan: “No, no, no, I was mostly raised by Lucifer. And a bunch of friendly drunks down at the pub. They taught me the fine art of stabbing.”

Barbatos: “It’s just too painful seeing the truth all the time.”

Solomon: “Ah, that’s why humans tend to avoid it.”

Belphegor: “The profession left without me.”

Diavolo: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

Belphegor: “I blame myself, cause I didn’t even notice.”

Solomon & Barbatos: *fighting*

Asmodeus: “Guys, guys come on. I’m much more embarrassed than I am aroused.”

Asmodeus: “MC, you poor baby. What a horrific day you’ve had. Let’s have too much wine and forget about it all.”

Beelzebub: “How’d you become a weird talking cat.”

Satan: “You keep shoving waffles in your mouth while I think of an answer.”

Thirteen: “I’ll use my skills as a hunter and Raphael will use his diplomacy to stab them with a broom handle.”

Solomon: “I used to spend many nights up here. Watching the sky, the moon, the neighbors.”

Lucifer: “This is your home. You’re free to explore.”

MC: “Wow, what’s behind that door?”

Lucifer: “None of your business nosy.”

Mammon: “Maybe you were overcome by chimney fumes. It happens quite frequently in a place like this with no chimnies.”

Satan: “What family curse? You mean insanity?”

Leviathan: “No, don’t be crazy. But yes I mean insanity.”

Asmodeus: “You guys are heavy. Do I really need both of you?”

Solomon & Satan: “Yes!”

Asmodeus: “Damn, I hate democracy.”

Mammon: “I knew you could count on me!”

Simeon: “What’s this called again?”

Mammon: “A a massage. It’s like a light well intentioned beating.”

Diavolo: “You’re clearly upset.”

Lucifer: “I’m not upset!”

Diavolo: “You said that like you were upset!”

MC: “Come on Belphegor be reasonable!”

Belphegor: “Never!”

Satan: “We’re gonna have to wing this in a dangerously half assed manner.”

Mammon: “That’s the Morningstar way.”

Asmodeus: “There’s plenty of fish in the sea, Sol.”

Solomon: “Like hell am I marrying another fish woman.”

Lucifer: “Disappointment’s a form of caring.”

Diavolo: “Tell me, where are you from.”

Solomon: “A country setting, it’s kind of like a farm but more stabbing.”

Simeon: “This whole thing feels like a weird dream.”

Mammon: “Or scurvy. When does scurvy kick in?”

Lucifer: “Believe it or not I know what it feels like to be burned alive by a mob of idiots.”

Beelzebub: “Oh, sweet butter, you’re the only thing right with the world.”

Solomon: “Morning, Belphegor! Care to try my new cure all? It wards off the deadly plague.”

Belphegor: “I’m actually hoping for death. Thanks though.”

Mammon: “For the first time in my life I feel completely calm and—“

Mammon: *Gets attacked by hawk*

Satan: “I’ve loved you since the moment you killed my brother.”

Mammon: “You don’t scare me! I was born scared.”

[mcflymemes]

ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE (2001) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary

it's been my experience when you hit bottom, the only place left to go is up.

i sleep in the nude.

about time someone hit him. i'm sorry it wasn't me.

i didn't say it was the smart thing, but it is the right thing.

i came down the chimney. ho ho ho.

we've done a lot of things we're not proud of. robbing graves, plundering tombs, double parking... but nobody got hurt.

maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew.

will you look at the size of this? it's gotta be half a mile high at least.

our lives are remembered by the gifts we leave our children.

you're so skinny, if you turned sideways and stuck out your tongue, you'd look like a zipper.

hey look, i made a bridge.

as far as me goes, i just like to blow things up.

come on. tell the kid the truth.

does it match my dress?

it was like a sign from god.

i got your four basic food groups: beans, bacon, whiskey, and lard.

you have disturbed the dirt.

what have you done?

if you give back every stolen artifact from a museum, you'd be left with an empty building.

i gotta admit, i'm disappointed.

you ask too many questions!

who are you? who sent you?

do not be such a crybaby.

now tell me your story, my little friend.

trust me on this one. you don't wanna know.

if you're looking for the pony rides, they're back there.

what else have you got in there?

forget your jammies, [name]?

you're gonna want a pair of these.

i think we've seen how effective my decisions have been.

have i left anything out?

you did set the camp on fire and drop us down that big hole.

i took this job when my dad retired.

you are a scholar, are you not?

who told you that?

let's go over it again, just so we got it straight.

we're all gonna die.

someone needs to talk to that girl.

for the good of the mission, i will go!

tonight's supper will be baked beans. musical program to follow.

hey, i had nothing to do with it.

i'll have to quit my job.

you didn't just drink that, did you?

don't move, don't breathe, don't do anything...

carrots? why it it always carrots?

with something like that, i would have white wine.

we can't let him do this!

okay, now you can go.

how was my accent?

we are not thriving.

where are you going?

don't take no for an answer.

look, i have some questions for you, and i'm not leaving this city until they're answered.

somebody's gonna have to suck out this poison.

i thought you said he only had guns!

mercenary? i prefer the term "adventure capitalist."

do you wanna do my job? be my guest.

i'm gonna need you to fill these up.

thank god i lost my sense of taste years ago.

why don't you translate, and i'll wave the gun around.

this was not part of the plan.

you do swim, do you not?

your heart has softened.

you would have slain them on sight.

what they have to teach us, we have already learned.

something wrong with your neck?

so i guess this is how it ends? fine. you win.

get back! i've got soap, and i'm not afraid to use it!

look at all those tattoos!

i've got a bone to pick with you.

any last words?

i really wish i had a better idea than this.

i know i'm forgetting something.

you're the one who got us here.

you must've read it a dozen times by now.

sometimes i get a little carried away.

all will be well. be not afraid.

i hate fishing. i hate fish. hate the taste, hate the smell, hate all them little bones.

you will not regret this!

hard to believe he's still single.

can you drive a truck?

no time like the present.

i love it when we win.

you pick now of all times to grow a conscience?

[littlespoonevan]

Would love to hear more about the Miss Congeniality Au!

ahhh miss congeniality au, my beloved!!!! 💖💗💞💕🩷❤️ truly, truly, truly i feel like this au could be so much FUN if i could find the discipline and motivation to just sit down and write it lmao. but i will say i v much enjoyed fitting all the pieces together for this snippet so here's hoping it awakens something in me askdjhf

i hope you like it 🥰

~

Eddie never imagined becoming a special agent. Then again, he never imagined becoming a single dad either.

But FBI work actually keeps him chained to a desk a hell of a lot more than regular police work used to and the pay’s better.

He’s regretting that decision right about now.

“Eddie, it has to be you.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, quickening his step even as Chimney continues to keep pace with him.

“It absolutely doesn’t, Chim.”

“The whole office agrees-“

Eddie stops short, whirling around. “Just because the little simulation version of me you drew up on the computer had an eight-pack-“

“My computer does not lie, Diaz-“

“I don’t have time,” Eddie cuts in. “I can’t be away from Chris that long.”

“It’s one week. Less, if you do your job right.”

Eddie makes a face.

It’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. A charity firefighter competition that he really thinks sounds a hell of a lot like a beauty pageant. Sure, there’s obstacle courses and stuff to complete but he’s not sure what a speedo competition has to do with being a competent firefighter. The cause is noble, he guesses, but there has to be a better way to raise money than deciding who’s the most specialist firefighter in all of Los Angeles.

Especially when the host – Captain Bobby Nash – is the target of a bomb threat.

It wouldn’t even have landed on their desk if not for the fact that three people with ties to Bobby Nash and the LAFD had received bombs in the mail over the last two weeks.

Athena thinks their best chance to take down the mail bomber is to have someone on the inside, to infiltrate the competition and investigate the contestants while also being the FBI’s eyes and ears throughout the week.

Hen and Chim, of course, volunteered Eddie for the job.

“I don’t like undercover work.” It’s an oversimplified version of the truth – that Eddie hates having to perform for an extended period of time and that this competition sounds like his own personal version of hell. Also, as much as he knows he’s in good shape, he doesn’t actually want people ogling his body for a week straight.

Chim gives him an incredibly unsympathetic clap on the shoulder. “Just use those big, brown eyes of yours and wow the judges with your salsa skills and no one will be any the wiser.”

Eddie opens his mouth to argue back when another voice cuts through their conversation.

“She said yes!”

He and Chimney both look up to find Hen running towards them, a beaming grin on her face. “Athena said yes! Better start practicing your poses, Firefighter Diaz.”

Well, shit.

-

Captain Bobby Nash has got a made-for-TV smile that has Eddie understanding why he got the hosting gig over every other fire captain in LA.

“Special Agent Grant,” he says, shaking Athena’s hand with a warmth to his expression that Eddie doesn’t expect.

Athena clearly doesn’t expect it either because she clears her throat as she pulls her hand back. “Captain Nash. This is Agent Diaz.”

Nash redirects his attention to Eddie, extending his hand once again. “Great to meet you. And please, call me Bobby.”

“You too,” Eddie says, flashing a polite smile and following Athena’s lead to take a seat in front of Bobby’s desk.

“So I take it there’s been some progress in the case?” Bobby asks, settling into his chair.

Athena purses her lips, exchanging a look with Eddie. “Not as much as we’d like. Given that we still don’t have a trace on the letter the bomber sent and the LAFD’s reluctance to cancel the competition, we’ve decided to send one of our agents in undercover.”

Bobby’s eyes immediately flick to Eddie and Eddie feels the ridiculous urge to straighten his posture. “I’m guessing that’s where you come in, Agent Diaz?”

“Not that we want to undermine the integrity of the competition but it will be imperative that Eddie makes it to the final,” Athena says. “It’s the best chance we have of catching the bomber if we can’t determine a suspect before then.”

Bobby leans back in his chair, regarding them both with an unreadable expression. Finally, he cracks a smile. “Well, he certainly looks the part.”

“He gets that a lot,” Athena snorts and Eddie ducks his head to hide the heat in his cheeks. It’s bad enough when it’s Hen and Chim ribbing him; he didn’t actually think Athena ever overheard them.

“Which firehouse is he representing though?” Bobby asks. “All of the contestants have already been chosen.”

Without missing a beat, Athena hands over a file that Eddie knows contains the fake details of his new identity. “Apparently the 133’s entry came down with an awful bout of food poisoning.”

Bobby accepts the manila folder with a faint smirk. “Well, that’s a shame.”

-

“Diaz. Diaz, do you read me? Over.”

Eddie rolls his eyes as he steps onto the bus ready to ship the contestants to the opening luncheon. “Yes, Chim,” he mutters under his breath. “I can hear you; stop yelling.”

“Remember to smile, Eddie.” That’s Hen.

How Athena thought they were the two best suited to oversee this, he’ll never understand.

He scans the length of the bus, looking for an empty seat. The whole place is overrun with burly men in too tight t-shirts talking animatedly to each other. It takes him a second to realise one of the men in question is waving at him.

He’s got curly hair and a golden retriever-esque eagerness to his smile. “Edmundo?” he asks. “From the 133, right?”

Eddie clears his throat and rearranges his face into a smile as he makes his way to the empty seat. Though calling it an empty seat feels generous when the firefighter all but shoves himself against the window to make room.

“How’d you know who I was?” he asks, genuinely curious. They only finalised the details of Eddie’s position in the competition yesterday and they made sure to leave any of his information off the official competition website.

“Oh I did a little deep dive on the other contestants but you were the only one who didn’t have a picture so I figured it had to be you.” He shrugs with an affable charm before offering Eddie a hand. “I’m Evan Buckley, with the 118. Everyone calls me Buck though.”

“He’s cute,” Hen says in his ear.

“Like a puppy,” Chim adds.

Eddie ignores them and shakes his hand. “Uh, you can call me Eddie,” he greets. Changing his last name was necessary; he refuses to go by Edmundo for the next week. It’s only then that he clocks the station number Buck said. “You’re part of Nash’s team.”

“Yeah,” Buck says, beaming with pride. “Bobby’s the best captain ever. You know some of these guys have it out for me because they think he’s gonna play favourites even though he’s not a judge. He’s just the host. But whatever, it’s not a big deal.”

The dejected look that creeps onto Buck’s face suggests it very much is a big deal even if he won’t admit it. Eddie feels a pang of sympathy. The guy seems harmless, even with all the rippling muscles. Then again, he’s not surprised a competition this testosterone-fuelled has people acting territorial.

“They just want an excuse for when you beat them in the first round,” Eddie says, mostly to fill the silence but also to get this Buck guy to stop looking so downtrodden.

He definitely doesn’t expect the way Buck’s whole face lights up in awe.

“You think I’ve got a shot at making it to the finals?”

The earnest hopefulness in Buck’s voice catches Eddie off guard and Hen and Chimney in his ear don’t help.

“Aww Eddie’s making friends!”

“Forget friends! Eddie, he’s cute; keep flirting with him.”

Eddie bites down on the urge to tell them to fuck off and makes himself smile at Buck instead. “’Course you do. Some of these guys are lucky they even made it this far.”

Truthfully, Eddie hasn’t even taken the time to look at anyone else on the bus all that much yet but the words tumble out of his mouth without permission. And in the face of Buck’s delighted grin, he can’t find it in himself to take them back.

“Thanks, man,” Buck says bashfully. “Hey, you have anyone to share a room with at the hotel yet?”

“Please tell me there’s only gonna be one bed,” Hen squawks gleefully in his ear.

“Uh I don’t know. Are they assigned or-?”

“They figured since most of us know each other we could pair up however we want but- um…” Buck trails off, making it clear no one has offered to share with him and well, it seems like he knows a lot about the other contestants. That could be good for Eddie. To get information and close the case. Obviously.

“Yeah, man. We can share.”

“Awesome!” Buck declares, slumping more comfortably in his seat and bumping his shoulder –probably accidentally – against Eddie’s. The bus gets moving then and Eddie takes the opportunity to scope out some of the other contestants.

It’s unlikely their suspect is another firefighter but not impossible.

“So how come I’ve never seen you at a scene before?”

Eddie blinks, redirecting his attention to Buck who’s looking at him curiously.

“Oh uh, I just transferred in the last couple of months.”

“From where?” Buck’s expression doesn’t look suspicious and Eddie has to remind himself not every conversation with a stranger needs to be an interrogation.

“Um, El Paso,” he says, immediately cringing on the inside. This man does not need to know any of his real life personal details.

But Buck only smiles again. “Cool. I’ll have to look out for you on calls from now on.”

And it’s not said flirtatiously or anything like that but Buck looks bashful again and Chimney is cackling his ear about how, “Eddie’s got a fan,” and Eddie’s stomach does a strange, traitorous flip.

But this is fine.

Everything is fine.

It’s just-

It’s going to be a long week.

-