#really hoping they are just gonna keep going w that faking death shit they have had going for a while now

[baellielurk]

so that shit hurted

[thelittleboyfromloveactually]

Two Shorten the Road

part 1

joel dawson x reader

warnings: cussing? idk, bad writing.....fluff, cuteness, monsters(is this a warning), mentions of death, SPOILERS

word count: 2154

prompt: when your best friend decides to leave your colony to go find the love of his life, you decide to join him on his journey even if you aren’t so happy about where this journey is going

Welp I did it, I took it into my own hands. I am writing a joel dawson series. Because we👏need 👏more👏joel👏fics👏 it’s basically the movie, almost the same script but obviously slightly different…ENJOY! <3

No one in my generation or later had a typical upbringing, I mean some of us did but then the world ended. This type of thing sounds straight out of some apocalyptic movie, but we basically live in one now. Agatha 616, an asteroid heading straight for earth, I know, so original. So we all came together and did what we do best, blow things up. Yup, we blew up teh asteroid, and humanity was saved! We thought. But here’s the thing about rockets, they are made of a bunch of chemical compounds which eventually rained back down on earth. Suddenly there were these Aileen creatures that mutated and started eating us. Ants, lizards, roaches, crocodiles, you name it. Our president was even killed by a giant moth. Ya….not so original now huh? We suddenly need tanks to kill ants, oh man I remember the good old days when a shoe would do just fine. Sometimes even the tanks didn’t work. Eventually the really big ones and our military took each other out and we lost 95% of the human population in a year! Those of us who survived hid, bunkers, caves, panic rooms, all around the world. So for the last seven years I’ve been hiding in an underground bunker. It’s really not as bad as it sounds, and it’s better than getting eaten alive. It’s a great group of people and we all love each other.

“Are you sure they’re asleep?”

“Who?”

“Y/N and joel!”

“Oh ya I’m sure”

“Joel? Y/n?”

“He’s asleep”

Actually we are both awake. Me and my best friend joel have kinda mastered faking being asleep. Our beds are right across from each other so we normally just lie there and make stupid faces at each other. We are the only two single people in our bunker. Nice huh? Joel is my best friend. I met him when I joined the colony. He’s the sweetest. It’s funny cause everyone thinks we should just have sex already because that’s literally all everyone else does. But we are way above that. Anyway, joel is in love with his girlfriend from before the colony, her name is Aimee. With one “I” and two “e”s. He loves to talk about her, he writes her letters. So in reality, I am the only one who is not in love in this bunker. I’ve never had a boyfriend, ever, even before the world ended.

We don’t really get any sleep. The moaning kinda keeps us awake. I got up and out of my bed and headed for the kitchen. I heard Joel’s bed creak and then his footsteps as he followed behind me. Another annoying thing about being down here is that to get to the kitchen from my room, you have to walk though other people’s bedrooms. Oh shit, they are busy, why would they leave their door open. Me and Joel stopped.

“Oh” joel and I said in unison

“Hey Y/N! Hey Joel!” Ava said

“Oh hey Ava” Joel said, we didn’t dare look over to our left.

“Y/N how’s it going?” Tim asked

“T-totally good tim, h-how are you doing” I asked

“Yeah, good” he responded

“I uh we couldn’t sleep” said Joel looking at the ceiling

“Ya we know the feeling” Ava said with a laugh

“Yeah probably not for the…..same reasons” joel said looking straight ahead

“Your guyses door was open, did you…did you know that?” I asked

“Yeah we know” they said

I shook my head and knitted my eyebrows together

“Okay” joel trailed off

Ever since Tim’s parents were eaten by a swarm of termites he and Ava have gotten really close, in every way.

“Okay, goodnight” joel said as we walked

Basically everyone is coupled up down here, a baby was born last winter! Welcome to the apocalypse kid. Ok if we ever get out of this, that would be an awesome story to tell your kids. “Oh ya I was born in an underground bunker doing a monster apocalypse” “yes exactly like World War Z but with bugs bigger than a 5 story building”. I mean come on.

So your probably wonder how the hell we get food, we’ll we have a cow. Gurdy. Gurdy is great. We also have a hunting party that brings back whatever they can from the surface. It’s gotten harder and harder, cause we ran out of bullets. And facing one of those things with a handmade weapon is just as hard as it sounds. It’s very very difficult. I go with them….sometimes. I still get scared. But I’ve been out quite a lot, especially compared to my man joel over here. I’ve been out maybe 30 times, he’s been out…maybe once, or not even. He’s the chef of the bunker. He makes super good Minestrone.

Me and joel like to hang out with Mavis. A robot. Yup. Not much for conversation, her batter is shot. Just like every other mavis I would imagine. When I’m not hunting we hang out with her. But sometimes I just go read. Reading and joel keep me sane. I mean sometimes joel drives me insane but I still love him. I have quite the collection of books too! I’ve got Emma by Jane Austen, a couple random ones that we found, all the hunger games and Harry Potter books, some mysteries that stopped being mysteries after a while, and then of course some smutty romance books for personal entertainment.

Joel likes to say that his thing is target practice. He has never hit the target but ya know, gotta entertain yourself. I think his thing is drawing though, he has this book that he draws in from Aimee. It’s really cool actually. He’s really good.

I sat watching Joel as he tried to hit the target, laughing a little every time he missed. It was cute how hard he tried.

“Shut up” he said shaking his laugh away

I laughed again, but then suddenly the lights started flickering. You could hear screeches and creeks echoing through the bunker. Joel turned to look at me. Worry and determination in his eyes. We both scrambled out of the room and into the kitchen where everyone was preparing.

“Hustle, hustle people we’ve gotta move”

I turned to look at Joel but then realized that he wasn’t next to me. Where did he go? Worry flooded through me. Suddenly the clanking of our weapon started behind me.

“Hey guys!” Joel said as he rammed into the railing, I shook my head. “Guys! I’ve got the weapons” he smiled at me

A few people walked over to him taking them out of his hands

“Stay” said Tim

“W-what?” Joel asked looking around in confusion

Everyone was talking and barking orders “grab what you need and let’s go! Y/N you coming?”

My eyes shot open “yes! Yup!” I jumped up and grabbed the bow and arrow from Joel.

“W-what's happening?” He asked innocently “what’s going on?”

“There’s a breach” said Tim

“What do you mean? Like inside the bunker breach?!” He asked

“Yes joel! Now come on!” I told him, patting him on the pack as I followed the others

He followed me and watched the plan get arranged

“Anna, Y/N and I will engage. Anderson and Tom plank him”

“Plank him, ya ok where do you guys need me? You want me to uh come through the rear or..?” Joel asked eagerly

“I don’t think your going to pass this joel” I told him

“Pass what? You guys need help, let me help” said clutching his crossbow

“You gonna make me say it?” said Sam

“Say what?!” God he was so adorably clueless

“You can’t handle it joel, your shook” said Sam, we all began getting into positions

“Ya ok, yes so you guys don’t get scared..ever?” He asked still getting ready to fight

“We get scared, we all get scared joel, but you get really scared” said Sam

“They are trying to make you feel bad joel” I said sweetly, trying to calm him down

“We love you joel”

“But your a liability”

“Ok why did that speech feel so rehearsed? And what about Y/N? She’s like…ya know?” He said bobbing his head

“Joel-“ suddenly the bunker shook and the lights flicked again

“Ok 30 meters out! Let’s move!” And we were off

Leaving joel and some others behind. You could hear the growling of whatever we were up against

I followed the others and listened carefully. I was freaking shaking. Don’t ask how I got sucked into becoming one the the hunters. Kinda just happened and I was just-

“OH SHIT!” I heard someone yell, it was too dark to see. Someone was gone, that thing took them. I couldn’t even see it. Oh fuck my life. Everyone began scattering, running away from the monster. I stopped running to take a breath, when I realized I was alone. Nicely done Y/N. The lights kept flickering. I heard something blow up in the distance.

“Conned? Conner?” I heard a whisper, one I knew all too well. Shit, joel. I ran toward the sound, and had no idea I was also running toward certain death. I stopped running. There it was, that thing. I’d never seen this before. I didn’t recognize it. I stayed silent, not moving at all. It slowly crawled over a shower curtain. Oh fuck. He was going toward joel! I quickly grabbed my bow and arrow and shot it. Right though the face. Next to its….eye I guess you could call it. Joel stood there, frozen.

I slowly walked over to him “Joel, hey are you ok?” I asked as I slipped my hand into his. He was trembling. Tears ran down his cheeks. He has a bad freezing problem, so I've been helping him work on it.

About an hour later I sat with Joel, still holding his hand as he stared out into space. We could hear everyone talking. How could this have happened?

“It ripped through steal”

“Anderson and I resealed the Breach point, nothings getting in that way again”

“But why did it happen?”

I tried to toon it out, and I hoped Joel did too.

“Joel, do you wanna talk about it?” I asked squeezing his hand, he looked so sad, which just crushed me

He shook his head

“Ok….” I nodded, I leaned into hug him but was interrupted by his voice

“How far away is Aimee's colony?” He asked

I pulled back, looking at him confused. The talking stopped and everyone look at him

“What?” Tim asked

“Aimee’s colony, how far away is it?” He repeated

“About 85 miles” he said as he furrowed his brows

“How long will it take to get there?”

“What do you mean joel?” I asked leaning closer to him

“Just humor me, how long?” He insisted

“7 days” said Tim

“Someone who’s armed and trained would hardly last 50miles, but you…joel” Ava said, I felt bad for him, he really didn’t deserve any of this

“Alright” Tim continued “now I need volunteers”

“I’m gonna go” joel said

No one said anything, they just stared

“It’s an impossible journey joel” said Tim, crossing his arms

Joel stood up, moving around my chair. “No im serious…I love you guys but there’s only one person in this world who ever truly made me happy and she’s only 85 miles away” he said strongly “I’m gonna go see her” I could see his mind was made up

God he was such a romantic, how could you not love this guy? Sure it hurts when your best friend tells you that you didn’t make him truly happy. Especially when you maybe sorta kinda have a crush on him.

He let out a breath “woah, that felt awesome” he said as he walked off to start packing

I stood there for a second processing and thinking, but then suddenly my mouth took over and well….

“I’m coming with you!” I said, he froze “I mean you can’t leave me here with these middle aged people, and your my best friend so” I shrugged

“I’ll come back for you I promise” he walked over to me “I can’t let you put yourself in even more danger” he said grabbing my arms

“I can’t let you put yourself in danger knowing that I could have helped protect you” I said, he stared blankly at me

I smiled “o-ohK…then I guess…” he trailed off

“Cool I’ll go pack” I skipped past him. Was I scared? Hell yes. But like I said, I needed to help joel and protect him in every way I can. And sure I wasn’t so happy that he was returning to his long lost love but if it made him happy then I would live. And anyway, two do shorten the road.

[massivelycreepypineapple]

That Damn Video

Request: uh, hi !! um can i ask for a request ? maybe dean & sam are going through some old dvds of reader before she was hunter ( in her teens ) & in a video maybe reader was singing "bubble gum bitch" by marina & then fluffy dean 😌

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader, Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader (platonic)

A/N: Hope you enjoy this!! Damn this song is stuck in my head now! -.-

Feedback is welcome!

Word Count: 1721

❅ ❅ ❅

“What are you doing?” Asked Sam startling Dean.

“Ouch!” Came a muffled replied as Dean hit his head inside the wardrobe. He nearly had his entire body inside going through some things, grunting and groaning when Sam showed up out of the blue. He pulled his head out and glared at Sam. “Give a guy some warning, would you?”

“Well, you’d hear me coming if you weren’t busy trying to get inside the wardrobe.” Quipped Sam amused.

“I’m trying to make some space. It’s great that Y/N moved into my room, but damn she has a lot of things.”

Sam chuckled at that walking closer to take a look, “Need help?”

“Yes! These clothes are going to kill me!”

“Death by bra. Sounds about right for you.” Smirked Sam helping him with a box.

“Shuttup.”

Y/N and Dean have been dating for 6 months now and only a month ago, Y/N moved into Dean’s room. They wanted to take it slow and even if they lived together in the same place and loved each other, going back to their own rooms at the end of the day gave them that bit of space to get their heads straight. Dating while being a hunter never ended well and they agreed that slow was a nice way to start their relationship.

5 months later after Dean nearly died in a hunt, they decided that they didn’t have all the time in the world and they would rather spend every single second they got. With that, Y/N moved into his room. But with her came a buttload of things that took up so much of space and poor Dean soon found his clothes getting lost with hers. So when Y/N left to help Ellen and the girls with a hunt, Dean figured he’d reorganise their room and make it homely to the both of them.

“Hey what’s this?” Asked Sam holding a box of old dvds that he found hidden in the depths of the wardrobe.

Dean shrugged at it confused, “Never seen them before. Must be Y/N’s.”

“Oh my god, Dean. The box says home videos!” Sam grinned widely, noticing the other side of the box.

“Shit, we have got to watch these!” He grinned mischievously. He quickly snatched it out of his hands and walked out of the room, heading to the Dean cave.

“What about reorganising?” Sam followed him.

“Screw that! I got a feeling we just struck gold.”

They walked into the Dean cave. Dean was all giddy, barely able to control his glee as he put one of the dvds in. They got themselves comfortable as the video started.

It started with a 5yr old Y/N showing off her brand new dress. Her mom was recording her as she did her adorable version of a cat walk. She was giggling as her parents cheered her on. It was extremely cute

The boys kept going through the dvd and watched as Y/N grew older. They kept giggling and discussing how to embarrass her once she came back home. Midway Sam got up to make some popcorn and the boys agreed that watching adorable little Y/N and her shenanigans was better than any movie they could think of.

An hour into it, they put in the last dvd into the player and what they came across was by far the best thing they had ever seen.

A shy 12yr old Y/N with heavy make up and wearing a bright pink shiny jumpsuit came on screen.

“If you do this, we’ll go skiing this weekend.” Her mom’s voice was heard.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” She mumbled, face turning red.

“But you do it so well, baby. Now come on!”

Y/N rolled her eyes and her mom started the music in the background and handed her the mic. Soon Y/N began singing the most amazing song ever heard. She was doing it so well with the attitude, dance and everything. And then the chorus came, Y/N’s kid voice making it even better.

“I’m Miss Sugar Pink, liquor, liquor lips

Hit me with your sweet love, steal me with a kiss

I'm Miss Sugar Pink, liquor, liquor lips

I'm gonna be your bubblegum btch

I'm gonna be your bubblegum btch”

“Okay, I’m done!” Yelled Y/N. “I’m getting out of this stupid dress!”

“Aww come on! Just finish the song!”

“Moooom!”

“Hey, it’s your dad’s birthday gift, you know how much he loves this song. Especially when you sing it, baby.”

“I’m making him a card like a normal person.” Y/N grumbled and stomped away, making her mother laugh. The camera followed her for a bit before turning to her mom’s face who said, “Well, honey, I tried but your daughter is as stubborn as you.” Before cutting.

There was silence in the bunker when the video ended. Dean and Sam looked at each other in shock before bursting with laughter. Dean laughed so hard he fell off the couch.

“That’s the future mother of your child, Dean.” Laughed Sam clutching onto his stomach.

“I can’t believe she kept these videos from me!” Grinned Dean. “Oh man, she’s never going to live this down!”

__________

That evening Y/N came back from the hunt.

“Boys! I’m home!” She yelled coming down the stairs.

She dropped her bags at the bottom of the staircase and made her way to the kitchen. She could hear Sam and Dean talking in there. She walked in, smelling something delicious.

“Hey baby!” Greeted Dean

Y/N went up to him and wrapped her arms around him. He kissed her forehead and hugged her tight. “I’m glad you’re back and safe. Missed you.” He said.

“Missed you too. Something smells good.”

“I’m making lasagna. Your favourite.” He grinned proudly.

“You’re the best, baby” She grinned back.

“Get a room, guys.” Mumbled Sam.

“Love you too, Sam.” She smiled and hugged him too.

“How was the hunt?” He asked.

“It was a cake walk and I kicked some butt.” She smirked proudly.

“That’s my girl!” Cheered Dean

She took a seat beside Sam, exhausted from the hunt. As soon as she sat down Sam pulled out a pink box and offered it to you.

“Want some bubblegum, Y/N?” He asked keeping a straight face so she wouldn’t suspect anything.

“No thanks, Sam.”

“You sure?”

“Very.” She looked at him confused.

“Come on! Take one.” He insisted.

“Sam! What’s with you?” She glared at him.

“Don’t be a bubblegum btch, Y/N.” He looked at her pointedly, making Dean snort as he cooked.

“What?” She looked at them both suspiciously.

Sam simply shrugged at her and smiled innocently.

“Dean your brother is being weird again.” She said looking helplessly at Dean’s back.

“He came out all weird.” Dean chuckled. “But really, you sure you don’t wanna have some gum, Ms. Sugar Pink?

Sam lost it at that.

“W-where did you get that?” She asked looking wide eyed at him.

“Oh I don’t know” he said nonchalantly turning out and picking up the dvd from the counter. “Maybe something to do with this home video?”

She jumped out of the chair looking shocked. “Dean.” She started slowly. “Where did you find that?”

“Sammy found it in our wardrobe.” He grinned.

“WHY?! Just why Sam?! Why were you in our wardrobe?!” She glared at him.

“Hey!” Sam jumped to his defence. “Dean wanted help in reorganising the room!”

“What?!” She snapped at Dean.

“Yeah it was a mess, N/N. So I brought in Sam to help out, which by the way is still not done fyi. Anyway, we were going through the wardrobe and guess what was tucked away in the bottom under all those clothes?” He had a shit eating grin.

“Please don’t tell me you watched them all.”

“Oh Y/N, baby, of course we did!”

She groaned at that covering her face.

“You sure got the attitude for that song, N/N” Quipped Sam.

“You!” She pointed at Sam. “You shut up! And you!” She pointed at Dean. “You’re in so much trouble, Winchester!”

“Aww are you going ‘chew him up and spit him out’?” Mocked Sam laughing.

“Argh. It was a gag gift for my dad!” She looked at them helplessly.

“Yeah something like that was mentioned.” Smiled Dean genuinely.

“My mom had a very quirky sense of humour and I almost always ended being used for embarrassing stuff.” She mumbled.

“You were so adorable though.” Said Dean pulling her into his arms. He could tell that she was very embarrassed and felt a little bad about teasing her.

“Shuttup.” She mumbled into his chest.

“It’s true. You were a cute kid, Y/N” Smiled Sam, patting her shoulder.

“I can’t believe you two morons found it.” She fake glared at them again.

Sam grinned, “we’re very glad we did.” He then excused himself to go take a shower.

“I meant it though, you were very very adorable. And you nailed that song, baby” Dean grinned wrapping his arms around her waist.

She shrugged at him still embarrassed. “I actually wanted to be a singer when I was 12.”

“Really?!” He asked surprised.

“Yeah. But a year later my parents died and I got thrust into the hunter life when Bobby found me.” Y/N said looking down.

Dean lifted her chin up and kissed her hard, “I think you’d have made a great singer." He said making you giggle.

“I love you, Dean.”

“I love you too, Ms Sugar Pink.” He smirked, earning a smack on the chest.

____________

That night as they laid in bed with Y/N resting her head on his chest, Dean began humming to the song. He suddenly felt a smack on the forehead.

“Oww! What was that for?!”

“We will never speak of or sing this song again.” She said glaring at him.

“It’s a catchy song, N/N!”

“Never! And make sure that brother of yours keeps his mouth shut before I do it for him.”

“Fine, fine.” Dean sighed. “Man you really popped my bubblegum heart” He whispered 5 seconds later earning another smack.

❅ ❅ ❅

Tags Below

@hobby27 @akshi8278 @svmwinchesterr

[mydearesthrry]

michelle - p.p.

based off of conan grays song, heather. please listen during this. warnings: angst, cussing, very tiny mentions of death. italics - flashbacks :)

i still remember, the third of december.

"peter, shut up!" you laughed, hitting him with a pillow but he kept singing the lyrics to the song that was playing, singing into a math trophy as a microphone.

"ohhhhhh loooooooooove! never knew what i was missing! but i knew once we start kissing, i foooooound," he sang loudly, mocking the notes that keyshia cole hit.

"loooove" he got quieter as ended his song, and once he did, he looked you in the eyes. you felt the heat rushing to your cheeks, and you shivered visibly.

"oh, my bad, are you cold?" he asked, taking off his blue midtown hoodie. he handed it to you, and you gratefully took it, putting it on and inhaling his scent. the hoodie went down to just about your knees. you noted the way he started blushing and fidgeting with his fingers, indicating that he was getting nervous and flustered.

"i- it looks better on you than it does me, y/n."

me and your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you.

"hey, peter, so i-" you started but unfortunately, aunt may bursted through the door, soon apologizing, asking what you two wanted for dinner. you answered her and she quickly left without a word.

"what were you gonna say?" peter sighed, turning to you, and running his fingers through his hair.

"oh- n-nothin'," you laughed it off, "not important."

only if you knew how much i liked you

"you sure?" he asked, putting his hand on your arm.

your skin heated up at the soft movement. "yup, positive." you gave a fake smile and turned back to your physics homework. "hey listen, uhh, i gotta go. but i'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" you asked, already packing up your stuff.

"y/n, you know you don't have to leave. you're always welcome here." he said politely with the softest eyes you could ever imagine.

"i know pete, and i thank you for that, but i really gotta go. i'm sorry." you sighed, walking toward him. he held out his arms to hug you, but you quickly dodged it and ran out the door.

the next day as you got to school, you saw ned and peter at peters locker. you saw them and ducked down behind some people in hopes that they wouldn't see you. unfortunately for you tho, they did see you, and called you over.

"hey guys." you said, giving them a tight lipped smile.

"hey y/n!" peter said enthusiastically. you automatically smiled wider, and messed with the sleeves of your peters hoodie.

"you're still wearing it?" he asked, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"y-yeah. if that's okay with you." you smiled.

"i-it- yeah- i- it's okay," he stuttered over his words, "uhhh- i think s-someones calling me, so i gotta go, but bye!" he ran away, tripping over his shoelace, almost falling but regaining his balance and turning the corner.

lunch rolled around quicker than you wished it would. if you're being honest you dreaded this time to come because you knew peter would be talking about mj the entire time. i mean, it's not that you didn't like her, because she was an amazing person, but if i'm being honest, she got on your nerves. you never spoke to her, but you already got annoyed with her considering the fact that your crush always talked about the girl he liked, but rightfully so, right? you admitted a long time ago that you were jealous and the only person who knew you felt this way was betty. you knew you could truly confide in her, so you did. she felt so sympathetic for you because even she saw how peter looked at mj, and it broke her heart too knowing her best friend was going through this.

you picked at your food, listening to peter and ned talk about their obsession about mj until you finally snapped.

"hey y/n? can i have my hoodie back?" peter asked, and you looked up from your food with a confused look written on your face.

"uhh, sure?" you said, slowly taking off the hoodie. you felt so bare- it sounds stupid but that hoodie made you feel safe. you shakily handed it back to peter, and he took it, not noticing how weird you were acting. he didn't see you handing him the sweater, and you watched his eyes as she walked by— he was mesmerized. you couldn't help but feel jealous.

but i watch your eyes as she walks by, what a sight for sore eyes. brighter than a blue sky. she's got you mesmerized while i die.

you felt anger bubbling within you, and you finally decided it was enough. you slammed his hoodie into his lap, picked up your tray and stomped away.

the time you snapped was when you saw mj cuddled up in his side wearing his midtown hoodie. the one that he gave you. the one he said you could keep. the one he said only you looked good in. was it all a lie? was he trying to make you feel better about yourself? you told yourself it was too good to be true, and obviously, you were right.

the next day you saw mj next to peter with him, cuddled into his side wearing the sweater he gave you and so suddenly took back. you scoffed but decided to be the bigger person.

you tried to keep it together as much as you could until you just couldn't, and you lost your shit.

"hey mj, better be careful. one second he loves you, the next he doesn't." you said, eyeing peter before slamming your fork in your food and storming out the cafeteria. peter looked up with a shocked expression, but you couldn't care less. he hurt you in a way unimaginable.

you decided to go back home, just to clear your thoughts when you heard a loud knock on your front door. you opened it up to see the one and only peter parker.

"what do you want, parker?" you spat, venom laced in your voice.

"what the fuck is wrong with you? the one girl i liked and you had to scare her away!" peter scoffed.

"the one girl you liked? wow, so i clearly was right. i wasn't- i'm not the one who lead the other one on, was i? exactly! so i don't think you should get a say in this! you had me thinking for months- several months that you wanted me! but clearly i was wrong, wasnt i? do you think this is a fairytale? where you'll get the girl 100 percent of the time? news flash, that's not how that fucking works peter!" you raised your voice, shocking him slightly.

"i- stop acting ridiculous, y/n! you're acting irrational! stop overreacting! i didn't even do anything to you, did i?" he yelled back, running his hands through his hair angrily.

"think about it peter! why am i always the second choice? i mean, why would you ever kiss me? i-im not even half as pretty. i saw that you gave her your sweater-"

"i-it's just polyester." he tried to reason with you but it wasn't working.

"but you like her better, peter." you couldn't keep it together but you tried your best, tears already streaming down your cheeks

"w- why are you acting this way? what did i do?"

"you didn't do anything, peter. i just,, i wish i was mj." you sniffled slammed the door in peters face, sinking down the door and letting your loud sobs spill from your lips.

the next day of school was hard for you. you avoided peter as best as you could. you caught his eyes a few times in the hall, and you had to admit, it hurt so bad. you didn't think that your best friend would be the person you'd hate so much.

lunch rolled around once again, and you looked to your table and saw peter with his arm around mj's shoulders. you looked down at their interlocked hands, and you felt broken. their lovesick eyes peering into eachother eyes. what a sight for sore eyes. you sighed, your eyes brimming with tears once again.

"i'm not even half as pretty." you repeated once again to yourself. you thought to yourself 'how could i hate her? she's such an angel.' you chuckled to yourself, and just let the tears fall. but then again, you couldn't help but wish she were dead.

'i wish i was mj'

[bungou-stray-dingus]

Poison

Pairing : Atsushi x Fem!Reader

A/N : My sister helped me come up with this one, so I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and as much as she enjoyed excitedly telling me this sadistic shit. I'm sorry this is so short. I cried writing it.

T/W : Attempted Suicide ; Mentions of Suicide ; Suicide ; Death ; Angst ;

Word Count :  1.8K

Angstember Day 5

He was sweet, kind, gentle, loving and caring. He was perfect for you, but why did you feel so lonely? He was doing his best to be there with you, to be there for you, but you were already broken. You had been broken long before you had met him, life had just been too much for you, but he was doing his best to fix you. You weren't able to be fixed though, not because you didn't want to, but because it was impossible. You were unfixable, and there was no point in dragging him along anymore.

He kissed the top of your forehead as he passed you in the living room. "We're gonna have a good day today, right?" He asked cheerfully, his voice too upbeat, it didn't match his eyes. He worried about you too much, and you knew it wasn't fair. He suffered through all of your attempts, missing work to stay with you the days after, only for you to keep trying again. You were just tired, you didn't want to do it anymore. You thought that he could make you happy, but that was too much to put on one person, it was too much to put on him. He didn't deserve to see you constantly trying to end yourself, you knew the toll it took on him.

You nodded up at him, putting on a fake smile, craning your neck to kiss him before he left. Today would have to be the day, you would have to succeed with it today. You weren't sure how much more he could take, and you didn't want him to hurt with you anymore. You would finish the job today, and he would hurt for a little bit, but he would surely forget and move on soon after. You wanted him to be happy, you didn't want him to worry anymore.

Planning it was a harder task, trying to find out how you'd do it while not causing him as much pain. He had found you in the bathroom already, bleeding out in the bathtub. He had saved you, and he had done the same thing when he found you hanging from the bar in the closet. He saved you every time, and you didn't want to do that anymore, it was too much for him. You saw how scared he was when he left for work, the look of fear whenever he left the house, terrified that he'd come back home to find you attempting again.

Was it selfish of you to drag him along when you knew you were this way? You only wanted to feel some kind of happiness, to see if maybe someone could help you. You wanted to feel loved, but not even all the love he had given you was enough to make you want to live. That was the hardest part about it all. Part of you wanted to live for him, but deep down you knew that would only be doing he and you both a disservice. You would never know true happiness, and all the love in the world wouldn't be enough to make you love yourself.

You had to make this as painless as possible, for him. That's exactly what you would do. You would mix bleach, drain cleaner, any cleaning product you could find, and you would mix it with your drink during dinner. He would know nothing about it, and it would take a while for the affects to kick in, and you would have succeeded without hurting him completely. The plan was perfect. Now all you had to do was carry it out.

He came home from work as you were preparing dinner, and you heard the sigh of relief when he saw that you were okay, that you were still alive. You turned around to smile at him as he walked towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder as he watched you cook. "Happy thoughts today?" He asked, murmuring the question in your ear. You hummed in response, knowing full well that if you opened your mouth to speak your voice would break, you would start crying. "Good, good. I'm gonna change out of these clothes and get ready for dinner." You nodded, feeling his arms leave your sides, hearing his footsteps as he walked towards the bedroom.

You wanted to enjoy the meal with him, it would be your last meal together, he deserved one last good night to remember. You grabbed the cups from the cabinet, filling yours with water and every other chemical combination you could think of. You made him a cup of tea, then set both of the cups at the table. You started serving the plates, and when you turned around to place them on the table you saw him with the cup of water in his hand.

"Wh-what are you doing?" You asked, quickly setting the plates down on the counter and walking over to him, trying to grab the cup from his hand. He took a step back, bringing the cup up to his nose and wrinkling it when the smell of the chemicals drifted into his nostrils.

"I saw you... I watched you do it. Why? Am I not good enough? Why?" His voice was already breaking, the tears building up on his lashes as he watched you, holding the cup in the air so you couldn't grab it.

"It's not you. I promise it's not you." You took a deep breath, but you felt the lump building in your throat as you fought the urge to cry. He shook his head, closing his eyes as he brought the cup to his lips. "Wait! Stop it!"

"I don't want you to hurt yourself... but you keep trying. I love you, Y/N, and if you really want to go that bad... I'll meet you there." You didn't have time to stop him, he began chugging the contents of the cup, and it was quickly gone before you could tell him not to.

He started gagging immediately, his bodies natural reaction to try to rid itself of the chemicals, but he held back. He kept it all in, and you knew, you knew it would work. You knew it would work because you wanted it to work for yourself. "This isn't what was supposed to happen..." You whispered as the tears fell down your cheeks. You wrapped your arms around him, not knowing what else to do.

"Did... did you think... I'd let you... drink it?" He asked between his gagging, and when you looked up at him you could see he was trying to smile. He was in pain though, his eyebrows pulled together as he tried to get through the burning in his throat and stomach, the chemical concoction slowly burning its way through his organs.

"You're so stupid... you're stupid Atsushi Nakajima..." You screamed against his chest, you felt his fingers rubbing circles into your back. He was still trying to comfort you, even when he knew he was going to die. "We have to... we have to get you to the hospital..." You whispered, trying to pull away from him, but his hold on you only got tighter. "Please..."

"I love you, Y/N... you'll keep... trying. I'll be there... waiting... for you..." He was breathing heavy, sweating, still trying to hold in the vomit building in his throat. This isn't what you wanted at all.

He was supposed to go on, he was supposed to be happy. He wasn't supposed to see you do it, he wasn't supposed to drink it. For once... for once you knew the pain that he felt. You were terrified, you were hurt, you were devastated. You didn't want to lose him. You loved him. This wasn't how he was supposed to go. If you could take it back, you would. You would stop trying, you would try to be happy, for him. But you couldn't, you knew you couldn't.... it was already in affect.

You both laid in the bed, he said the last thing he wanted to do was to lay next to you, to hold you in his arms so he could die in peace. To say that you were just crying is an understatement. You were bawling into his chest, his labored breaths sounded too loud in your ears. He still smiled, he never stopped smiling, even as his eyes slowly fluttered shut. He was still breathing when you fell asleep, but you wished that you hadn't.

When you woke up it had all felt like a bad dream, until you sat up and looked over at him. His lips were blue, his eyes wide open, dried vomit around his mouth and down the side of his face. "Sushi... Atsushi!" You tried to shake him, hoping that he would come back to you, but it was foolish of you to think that it would work. He was cold, his body was stiff, he had been dead long enough to not be brought back. You didn't know what to do, you couldn't breathe. Seeing him, lifeless, knowing that it was your fault, you had caused this. "I'm... I'm sorry...." You stammered, leaning over to kiss his forehead, grabbing his hand to hold in yours. His fingers wouldn't lace between your own anymore, you were alone.

You sat next to him for what felt like forever. You didn't know what to do, your mind was blank. All you could feel was guilt and devastation. You didn't deserve him, if you had known... if you had known he would have done that... you would have drank it before he came home. You only wanted to save him the pain, but he took the pain from you instead, and now he was gone. Would he really be waiting for you? There was only one way to find out for certain.

You walked into the kitchen, you were in a daze. All of your movements were robotic as you took the cup from the table, the same cup he had drank from last night. You filled it with the same concoction of poisons, stirring it with a spoon before making your way back to the bedroom. "I'll be there soon. Please wait for me. I love you so much, Atsushi... I'm sorry." You drank it quickly, trying to keep yourself from choking as the chemicals immediately began burning your throat. You laid next to him, wrapping your arms around his waist as you waited for death to take you to be with him once more.

To my readers and anyone who may need it : If you ever feel this way, please, PLEASE, talk to someone, anyone, you can talk to me if you'd like. I want everyone to know that I, and many others on this site will always be here to talk if you're ever in a dark place.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline : 800-273-8255

You are all loved by someone, there will always be people who want you here. Remember that always. <3

[sassybirdmanandhisangstywife]

Surprise surprise, I have another chapter. And this may come as a shock to you, but this chapter does NOT end with Diaval passing out. Look I know it was cliche, but he was gonna pass out anyway, it felt like the best ending. But hopefully there won’t be any more of that, for this fic at least. Instead, you get this poor bird running around going grey and not being able to relax for even a second. I feel so bad I’ve wronged my birdboi. Oh well, what happens happens. Hope you enjoy the flashback! Also, does anyone know how to attach my other chapters to the new ones I post, without reblogging? You know, the little numbers at the bottom where if you click on them they show that chapter? 1 for 1, 2 for 2, etc. I’d really like to do that, as it would make finding the full fic much easier. Thanks, I hope you like reading this!

Chapter 4

I leave her side for 5 minutes.....

I woke up slowly, well rested but somehow more exhausted then ever. Always a fun feeling. Looking around with half open eyes, I noticed no one was in my sight line. And I mean no one. No fairies flittering through the grass, no waterbollergs having me wake up to a mud covered face, nothing. I don’t think any part of The Moors has ever been this silent. So naturally, I felt immediately cautious. Maybe it was just that having humans in The Moors was such a sight that everyone had gone to see them, I reasoned, exiting the healing pools. That seemed........like I was coming up with an excuse to desperately keep the probable reality of an attack or betrayal from my brain. Fabulous. Can’t even get five minutes of peace around here. Walking from the pools, I began to search for anything (or anyone) that could give me answers to whatever the hell was going on. How I wished I could turn into a raven ri- HUH!?

I cawed loudly as I frantically flapped my wings. I was a-a RAVEN! How!? Was Mistress around? Why was she hiding from me??? I frantically circled the area, searching for Mistress, or anyone who could’ve transformed me. After a short while, and expending a large amount of my newfound energy, I had a quite worrying realization. I did it. I transformed myself. Shit. Shit shit SHIT!

Which is quite the confusing thought. How am I, a mere raven, able to shift my form all of a sudden? Allow me to explain........

19 years ago.......

“Mistress?” I asked, bandaging her wounds with my newest healing tincture.

“What is it Diaval?” She responded, wincing at the pain she was trying to hide.

“Is there any way you could allow me to shift myself?”

Mistress became still as the stone ruins all around us. Suddenly whipping her head around (and most likely regretting that move as soon as it was made), she snapped

“And why on earth would you ever need that power? Do you plan to leave in the near future?”

I was appalled at this statement.

“What!? NO! I merely meant that if we were to suffer from an attack this severe again, and I was in raven form, you might not survive.”

“Do you truly think me to be so weak?” Mistress asked, an edge to her voice, and murder in her eyes.

I sighed.

I loved my Mistress, probably more than I should, but this defensiveness was getting quite old.

“No Mistress.” I said tiredly. “But in instances like today, the humans surprised us. We didn’t expect them to be able to get over the thorn walls, let alone past Balthazar and his warriors. They snuck past those, and all our other, defenses, and sprung themselves on us when we were distracted. And since they got the drop on us, they had the chance to get enough iron on you to render you incapable of using the amount of magic it takes to transform me. If I were in raven form, or most forms other than human at that, you might not have survived. Luckily I was human, and we’re both able to fully recover because of that, but we can’t always rely on that form being available in situations like this. We should have a- what’s the word? Not-success safety?”

“A fail safe?” Mistress asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yes! That.” I said, gesturing towards Mistress. “A fail safe. A way for me to turn human at will. Not always, but in crises such as today.”

Mistress appeared thoughtful, hopefully pondering my idea. Not that I expected her to take my thoughts into account, but a raven can hope. By the time I finished bandaging her various injuries, moving on to my own, she still hadn’t given a response. It was worrying, for multiple reasons.

I decided to risk it.

“Mistress?” I asked, lightly touching her shoulder. She jerked back, seemingly jumping out of her thoughts.

“What?”

I just looked at her.

“Um, what did you think of my idea?”

Mistress’ eyes widened ever so slightly, a move I’d learned not to mention, as she was not one to deliberately show her emotions.

“Oh, yes, that.” She replied, gathering her thoughts. “I think it sounds like a..........somewhat reasonable idea, to an extent.”

Oh great.

“To what extent Mistress?”

“Although I admit there are times when I am....overpowered, they are rare occasions. If a battle does not escalate to the level of danger that could threaten my life, you will be unable to shift. If any situation somehow manages to be life threatening to myself, then you can shift into whatever you want, as many times as you wish.”

I exhaled deeply. That wasn’t as bad as I thought it w-

“-But it must be me who determines whether the situation is life threatening or not.” She finished.

Brilliant. It’s as if she threw my idea out altogether. Mistress is a prideful creature, more so then most, and it will come as a true shock if she ever admits her life is in danger, let alone that she needs saving.

Well, at least I tried.

“Whatever you say Mistress” I said, turning back to my wounds.

Present day......

Oh ravens. This wasn’t good, this wasn’t good at all. How long have I been out for something like this to happen? The magic Mistress used should only have left me unconscious for as long as I needed healing, and my injuries weren’t as severe as to need more than a day’s rest. Did the humans betray us? It doesn’t seem that unreasonable, but the humans, or at least the royal guard, seemed to accept Aurora’s leadership, regardless of how different her opinions were from her father’s......HER FATHER!

I shook myself off. No, that was impossible, Mistress killed him herself. He couldn’t fake his death in front of her, nor would he want to. His mind is too far gone for that.

But if it’s not Stephan, what could possibly have gone so wrong? And how was I to figure that out in time to save her?

An idea sparked in my brain.

Well, I guess it’s time to go back to old habits. Let’s go world, I’ll take it all on.

My Mistress, and secret love, is in danger.

[lavendertwilight89]

Untitled

For @hnnwnchstr​. Better times are ahead.

And of course there’s smoots for her :)

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Sometimes life got him down… But he’d had hundreds of years to cope with that. His human companions, however, always seemed to take their failure harder. Even when the blame should always fall on him.

He was the strongest and oldest in the pack. It made him the alpha. Their setbacks were his own.

Yea, don’t get him wrong. He took defeat and loss hard. But there’d always be a new day. Unless you were dead. And if you lived to tell the tale, then fuck, why stay depressed about it?

What killed him more than anything though was seeing a young woman that had stolen his heart upset about anything. She blamed herself for shattering the jewel, causing all the death, destruction…

But it wasn’t her fault. Not really. Sure he blamed her, called her names, made her feel guilty about the whole mess; but in reality, it was his fault. If he hadn’t had been such a jackass to her, calling her names, making her feel ugly, being an immature asshole--she wouldn’t have run away. She wouldn’t have been caught, and the crow demon wouldn’t have gotten a hold of the jewel. Even then, if he had been more encouraging, patient, maybe they would have been able to recover the jewel together before she shot it out of the sky.

But no. He was a fucking jerk. He should have seen from the moment she crashed down in front of him when she was being chased by the nasty ass centipede that she wasn’t Kikyo. She was nothing like her in terms of spirit, spunk, demeanor, and even as time went on--she looked less and less like her. Her beauty was far more natural; just like she was. She wasn’t overbearingly poised, stiff, cold. Kagome overflowed radiance and kindness. Kikyo had been a beautiful, untouchable woman… But Kagome was gorgeous. Kind. Warm. Everything Kikyo had not been, Kagome was. 

He thought he had loved Kikyo; but he was a fool. He had no idea what love really was after traveling with Kagome. Having her care for him. Talk to him. Touch him as if he wasn’t tainted. No one had ever tried to rub his ears, hold his clawed hands, hold him when he was ready to cave in on himself… that was until Kagome came along. She made it bearable to be a half-demon in this fucked up world. She made it alright to be himself. 

Seeing her hang her head down from another destroyed village they hadn’t made it in time to save, her likely hearing Sango’s quiet comments about how she was glad she never saw her village in such disarray, Miroku’s musings about how anyone would do anything to get the jewel shards…

He wanted to fucking strangle them, but no--she wouldn’t let him. Originally he growled at them, but she soothed him and plastered her fake caring smile on her face. Then proceeded to ask him to help them lay the villagers to rest. He was hopeless to tell her no--well, after a few mutters of annoyance. He had an image to maintain, after all.

It wasn’t until into the night when the fire burned low, the stars shined brightly, and the full moon illuminated the land from high in the sky that he heard her sleeping bag ruffle. He looked down to see his delicate pale beauty look around the campsite. What was she looking for?

He caught her shift her gaze up to him. Since he was a coward, he pretended to be asleep. Some more shuffling sounds followed by footsteps had him open his eyes. Seriously, what the fuck was she doing??

Jumping from tree to tree as quietly as possible, he saw her walk out into an open field and sit. She was just gazing up at the stars…

He remembered one of the first times they did that together. The idea of staring at them was stupid--why bother? They didn’t move. They held no real purpose.

But Kagome said they learned a lot about them in her time; how they change from season to season, how they can be used for directions when they knew what season it was. Some had special names, different stories. Legends. Myths. She said after learning demons were real, who knows if those stories were actually as fictional as they had originally been meant to be?

The fascination was still slightly lost on him until she mentioned with the pollution of her time that it made them harder to see unless you were out in more ‘rural’ areas. Places without villages. Like here. She said she loved to look at them--with people who were special to her.

The speech wasn’t lost on him, even though he acted like it was. He knew he was important to her. How could he not be? She didn’t go to school as much, spent most of her time here even though she had a life on the other side of the well…

Even though she said it was to fix her mistakes, he knew that wasn’t the only reason. Or at least he had hoped it wasn’t until he heard her cry out for him when Hakudoshi held her heart.

Confirming, definitely a good piece of it belonged to him. But… he still had no idea what he could offer her? His harsh words and attitude? The fire-rat robe off his back? His father’s sword that held in his demonic blood?

She deserved to have a choice. If she did so happen to choose to stay with him once the jewel was once again complete, without knowledge of his feelings, he’d tell her. He’d build her a hut--if the village accepted them. Fuck, even if they had to live in a cave, he’d still consider himself the luckiest man in all the lands.

He’d do anything for her; and that was why he had to remain silent until there was no jewel driving her mission.

Looking at the back of her didn’t help him figure out what was wrong with her, though. The wind shifted and stirred those wavy ebony locks. Along with the scent that was so Kagome, he smelled a twinge of salt…

She was crying.

Of course she snuck away, so she didn’t wake up her friends… or him.

He jumped down from his tree and walked over to her. She didn’t flinch or move her position from staring up at the sky. Obviously she had been aware of his presence. Her power has certainly grown since she first arrived now. She could clearly pick out different reiki, youki, jyaki, and the jewel shards. 

What couldn’t his girl do? Of course he referred to her as his girl; who else would be his? Even if she happened to choose to leave, he doubted he would ever find another as giving, kind, caring, loving, and beautiful as Kagome. Maybe in a couple centuries; but even then he’d likely try and find his way back to her when she was born. See when she grew up if she’d want to try again… But he would also just be happy to be her friend. Why would he get in the way of her happiness? Of her life? He may have been a selfish bastard for now, keeping her from her friends and family, but they had a mission. He had the right to be an ass… Demand the time from her until it was over. Because God forbid she did choose to leave, he’d die from not having spent more time with her.

“Hi,” she said softly.

“Hey… what’s uh--what’s going on?”

“Just thinking,” she sighed, closing her eyes. Fuck. Why was she so goddamn pretty? Even sitting there, tears trickling down her flushed cheeks, hair blowing with the breeze, and he couldn’t stop looking at her. She was mesmerizing.

“Yea? Care to elaborate? Or ya just gonna keep cryin’ over nothing?” He asked as he plopped down next to her. Jerkface on. Ready to push her to fight with him so that the tears would stop. Maybe even let his face eat the dirt. After a good sit she was usually somehow in a better mood from releasing her anger.

“Sigh…” She opened her eyes and looked at the stars again before she finally shifted her eyes back to him. “I just… I’m stupid. That’s all.”

“Why you say that? You’re the one with all the book learning and crap. You’re probably one of the smarter ones out of our group,” he pointed out. Then he realized he said something nice. Fuck. He was deviating from his plan… But she just looked so broken. Damn. Shit. He had to comfort her; at least that’s what the demon demanded. The human in him was screaming to run and hide and protect her from himself.

Nice. Two very opposing sides fighting in his mind. No wonder being a confusing asshole came so naturally.

“It’s just… You all have lost so much. Some because of me, some not. But still, I feel like I let this get to me… More than it should. I’m able to go home and see my family. Separate myself from all of this and you guys--can’t. 

“I’m just pathetic for letting this get to me. I’m just so useless and.. Weak. You were right.”

Before he could think the better of it, he stretched his arm out and hugged her shoulders tightly. “No. I was wrong. So far from wrong. You’re probably the strongest out of all of us, Kagome.”

“Do-Don’t--”

“Don’t what?? Just say shit? I’m not for once. Yea, I know I don’t always think. Especially back then when we first met, first starting traveling together… I know, Kagome. I know I was an asshat. The biggest bastard of them all. I just…”

“Inuyasha, I understand,” she soothed, turning to face him. Her calves were pressed to his thigh now. Without thinking, he pulled her up into his lap. 

“Inu--”

“I’m sorry.”

“W-What??”

“Your insecurities--your fears… They’re my fault. I’m to blame.”

“No--stop. Inuyasha I understand why you said those things… It wasn’t because you meant them--not exactly, anyway. You said them out of malice. You were hurt. You were scared to be hurt again by someone who looked exactly like the woman who had literally ripped your heart in two. I get it. I learned you didn’t mean half of what you said. You just said that stuff to protect yourself…”

“Kagome…” How was it possible this woman knew him better than anyone? Was that even fair? Did he know her just as well?

“I know you had a rough life. I’ve seen it. You’ve only warned me time and time again when we’ve gone into villages, stayed out in the woods at night, hunted the jewel shards, even asked our friends to join us. I get it. In the sense that you are the way you are because of it. But I also see through to the real you. I see you for who you really are Inuyasha.”

“You don’t gotta tell me. I know you do…” His claws brushed through her hair and she started to relax further into his hold.

“Inuyasha?”

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know… Am I not doing something right?”

Her giggle emerged and he felt the tension in his own body leave. Clearly he was doing okay making her feel better, “I think you’re doing just fine--you just have never… I mean you don’t usually--”

“Everyone needs a different form of comfort, Kagome. Sango usually just needs a pep talk or she needs to just not be groped by that fucking pervert. Miroku has to be joked with or threatened. Shippo… well there ain’t much that gets him down that your fuckin’ pokey won’t fix. Kirara is never sad unless she doesn’t get fish.”

“What about you? How can I--” she turned to face him and her lip snuck its way in between her teeth. “How can I comfort you?”

“By being you. You’ve stayed by my side when you shouldn’t have. You’ve held me even after I slaughtered humans without a second thought. It’s second nature to you, Kagome… You--You don’t know how grateful I am to have you here… even though I don’t show it like I should,” he mumbled the last words hoping she wouldn’t hear the mushy words exit his mouth.

“And you… comfort me how…?” Her eyes with glistening and twinkling like the damn stars. Fuck. Did he mention how beautiful she was? And how unfair her proximity fucked with his head? Was she… what was she asking for? He heard her heart beating erratically. Her face was blushing--but not from crying now. Her scent told a different story. It was one of desire. Want. Need. Fuck.

He wasn’t thinking as he leaned in and closed the distance between their mouths. His lips brushed hers lightly at first, testing to see if she would ultimately reject him like everyone else. But fuck--no, she pressed back harder. Damn; she was ruining his plans.

He pulled back slightly before the kiss got more heated and looked deeply into her lust covered eyes. Damnit. He felt a particular body part rising with her scent and the nonverbal cues she was sending out.

“Kagome--”

“Please--just for tonight--I don’t want to be second. Tomorrow we can just move on but tonight can it just be us?”

“What?” And his dick was under control again. Her words triggered something in his brain to settle the fuck down. “What do you mean ‘second’?”

“I know--I know you don’t care about me like that. And that’s okay. You don’t have to. I know you’re in love with Kikyo. I know you want the jewel. I know you want to avenge Kikyo’s death and the betrayal Naraku caused between the two of you. I get it. I understand. I just-- for tonight can it just be us? No Kikyo? No Naraku? No jewel?”

“Kagome that’s not--”

“Inuyasha--” She leaned in and tried to kiss him again but he pulled back. Here he said she was smart and she actually was the dumbest of them all…

What kind of horse shit was she spewing?

“No--what the fuck, Kagome?! You think you’re fucking second to all those things?!?!”

“Inuyasha shush! We’re not that far from--”

“Shut up! Answer me! You honestly think I put those other things first before you?!”

“Well obviously!! The minute there’s a soul collector you’re out of here! The moment you catch Naraku’s scent, you’re gone! And don’t forget why I’m even here to begin with!! I shattered the jewel! The jewel you want!!”

“Don’t give me that crap Kagome; you and I both know while yea, we kinda need help being able to see and sense the jewel shards I need you. I. Need. You. You. Not Kikyo, not Miroku, not Sango… YOU. Do you have any idea what kind of person I would be--fuck--what kind of person I was before you came along?! I only have friends because of you. I only have been trusted by villages because of you. Kagome… God you’re everything for me. You’ve given me so much without even fucking trying.

“I get I am a bastard. I know I’m an asshole through and though but come on--you have to know by now, after everything we’ve fucking been through that I want you by my side. That when you aren’t here--it’s just empty. Don’t even act like you don’t know what I do when you’re gone. I’ve heard the slayer and monk tell you. Even fucking Shippo rats me out for the right price. Kagome--how can you be so fuckin’ blind??”

“Inuyasha--”

“I’m not done talking, wench; so shut the fuck up and listen. Kikyo--Kikyo is dead. I know that. I know there honestly isn’t a way to save her. The feelings I have for her--they revolve around guilt and remorse. But even looking back at what could have been--it never would have worked Kagome. We didn’t trust each other. We were two of loneliest people in the world and drew on each other for comfort. 

“What you and I have… Fuck Kagome. Even just as friends, we have such a--shit. Kagome, I’ve never had friends. Even my only family hates my guts. You were my first friend. The first person to trust me with your life. Do you even know what that means to me??”

“Inuyasha…” Luckily she was drawn out of her little spiraling depressive shell she had put around herself. Maybe they should have had this talk years ago…

“Kagome--with Naraku--fuck. He wants to hurt me. He wants me to die mentally; physically he probably couldn’t give a shit. But he wants me to suffer for whatever reason. Do you know how he would succeed in that?”

“I--”

“By taking you away from me. Kagome--don’t you get it?”

“Inuyasha--just--just say it. Please,” she whispered.

“I love you, dumbass,” he finally said. Breathlessly. Because the air from his lungs had whooshed out of his body. Because every fucking promise he made to her, made himself just went out the window. Typical. His mouth always did end up running away from him. But he couldn’t believe she had thought she was so low on the totem pole… how could she honestly believe that he didn’t care about her? That he’d fucking use her body like that?

Mating was a serious thing in inuyoukai culture. Fuck--even in this era women didn’t typically go opening their legs to just anyone. Yea, things were different in her time but goddamn--he was not going to allow her to do that to him. To her even. If she wanted to be with him, it would be a lifetime commitment. Once he had her, he was too selfish to ever let her go.

“Inuyasha--I--”

“I’m not gonna just rut you and leave you. That’s not how this would go, Kagome. That’s not who I am. Don’t you think I have a little more honor than that? Don’t you think even as a friend I care about you more than that??”

“I’m sorry…” she said, her voice disheartened.

“Damn right you should be sorry! If we do this--this is a lifetime commitment. Not your lifetime; mine.”

“What??” She said looking up at him in shock. 

“Inuyoukai mate for life--”

“But your dad--”

“My old man rutted Sesshomaru’s mom for a powerful heir. I’m not lookin’ for someone to take over my land. Fuck--I have a fucking forest the villagers named after me in fear that I would one day wake.”

“But--”

“Yea, he mated with my mom and he died. Shit happens. But she had me to love and protect and raise. The mate bond only affects the demon in the relationship as far as if you got hurt and died, then I would. Not the inverse. What would happen for you is that it would wear off and you’d begin to age like normal.”

“Are you… Are you asking me to be your mate?”

“God, you’re slow,” he smirked lightheartedly.

She glared at him, “Inuyasha… This isn’t a joke.”

“I’m aware of that; it also isn’t a tryst.”

“Touche… So… Uhm--where--where would we live? When this was all over?”

“Whatever village would take us. Or a cave. Wilderness. Seems like the more likely option.”

“What about my era?” He gave her a look of ‘Yea--with my ears?’ “Oh, you’re-you’re right. It wouldn’t work…”

“Look, I wasn’t--I wasn’t trying to make you choose. You can take all the time you need. I wasn’t gonna say anything until the jewel was whole and we figured out what to do with it. We can just go slow--I can court you and--”

“Inuyasha; I love you too. I don’t want to ever be without you. If I didn’t want to be here, yes it would eat me up inside because I was the one who broke the jewel but I want to be with you; by your side. Kikyo could have taken my spot… If--If we had to live in a cave, forest, wherever I’d be alright. I’d still be with you.”

“Are you sure about this Kagome? There aren't any take backs on this kind of thing…”

“Now who is doubting whom?” She tilted her head frowning slightly.

“Whatever, wench,” he replied with no bite. “Forever is just a long time to not think about this. I swore I’d protect you; that includes myself. You might not realize what being mated to half-breed means.”

“I don’t understand what you mean; is there… other stuff we’d have to do or--”

“You’ll be called the demon’s bitch. The half-demon’s slut. Anything you’ve ever heard thrown at me, they’ll be hurled at you.”

“I don’t care about what people think about me. I care about what you think… Will you think those things of me?”

“Kagome!! What the fuck--?!”

“See? Of course you won’t. Neither will our friends…” She trailed off and looked slightly uncomfortable and her scent shifted.

“What are you worried about?”

“You--You may not love Kikyo like you used to… but--”

“Sigh… it’s been a long time coming for that conversation. She does know how I feel about you. That’s another reason she doesn’t press to travel with us. The last time we met, she had asked if I had told you yet, that was awkward,” he said blushing, letting his ears fall flat on his head. The embarrassment was worth it when he heard laugh lightly and felt her cold hand on his ear. Fuck. He secretly loved it when she would just brush his ears in passing. But it seemed the secret was out… Because an unbridled rumble erupted from his chest. Damnit.

“Are you purring?” She asked, smiling mischievously.

“NO! I DO NOT PURR!”

“Sure--sure,” she agreed with undeniable amusement laced in her voice as she continued to rub his ears. Feeling the other effects it was having on him, he reached up and paused her ministrations.

“You’re--You’re gonna have to stop.”

“Why?” Oh, poor sweet innocent Kagome… He conveyed a face that hopefully told her what he honestly didn’t want to confess out loud. Unfortunately, he was pretty sure the piece of anatomy that was now poking into her side. It had the inverse effect though; her scent spiked again.

Fuck she was like a drug. He already knew he had no hope in separating from her; but she obviously held no reservations. She wanted what he did. Even more so maybe. She had been willing to just have him for a night. Claiming she was being the selfish one. Bullshit. If anyone was selfish, it was him.

He slowly leaned in again but paused just a breath away to wait for her to close the distance. While he was selfish, he wanted this to ultimately be her choice. He had already made his. It was her. Always her.

Luckily, or thankfully, whichever it was, she closed the gap between them and kissed him. Fuck he was a goner. He loved her. Everything about her. From her eyes, to her voice, to her sweet honey flavored tongue shoved into his mouth brushing against his fangs, her breasts he was squeezing through her sleep shirt, her kind personality, her overflowing love-- he could go on and on. 

When she pulled back he was taken by surprise, which wasn’t an easy feat. Especially when her legs were straddling his hips. He opened his eyes which he hadn’t even realized had closed and saw her shred her pink tank top that had already barely contained her large round mounds.

From the time she had first come to his era to now Kagome had grown from a girl to a woman. She was now eighteen and her figure was more apparent, more enticing and womanly. While she was still a head shorter than he was, her bust had grown, her hips had expanded in preparation for bearing children, muscles were developed from years of running, walking, fighting, and fuck best of all, her gorgeous blue eyes just seemed to have gotten darker to match the ocean she loved to visit. That was one of her favorite places to go when they had a moment and while he bitched, he secretly loved taking her there to explore.

Without thinking, because when did he ever, he swallowed her nipple whole and swirled his tongue around it until he felt it point from excitement. Once he thoroughly ravished one side, he moved to the other. He felt her nimble fingers untying the strings to his haori and aided her in her efforts to remove it. Once she started to shove it down his arms, he pulled away and laid down his kosode and robe of the fire rat. He turned back to her and twisted to lay her down upon the makeshift bed he had made.

After she was fully on her back, he started kissing her again, his hands restless as they studied every curve she possessed more thoroughly than he had with his eyes. Even though their mouths were battling for dominance, his ears caught every sigh, moan, and gasp her voice made. 

Once his hands hit the waistline of her pants, she stilled him. Shifting beneath him, she encouraged him to remove her pants. Who was he to refuse what she desired?

Once her pants and underwear were pulled down, he acted without thinking and moved his mouth down her body. Without his mouth swallowing her moans he soon realized how loud she was. He smirked at the idea of seeing how far he could push her--to see what would come out of that smart mouth of hers.

He reached her raven curls and nudged her legs apart. She hesitated slightly and he looked up to see nervousness in her eyes. Swiftly he moved back to look directly into her eyes and grasped her face in his hands as he straddled her.

“You’re beautiful, Kagome. You’re mine. We don’t have to continue though--we can stop and go slowly.”

“N-No. Sorry--I just-- I was kind of nervous about how I smell. It’s been a little bit since we’ve hit a hot spring or river to bathe off in,” she said bashfully.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at her reasonings, “Oh Kagome. Trust me; you smell like a fucking buffet. I can’t wait to taste you.” He licked his lips teasingly as he watched her flush and swallow. He kissed her again hard to try and coax out the woman who originally pleaded to take her for one night. That confidence was what she needed. 

Once she was fervent in her kisses again, he dove back down to what his instincts were calling for; a taste of her nether regions. That time when he reached it she didn’t fight him when he spread her legs and laid between them. He initially shoved his nose between her folds. He was slightly tickled by the black hairs that hid her sex from him but fuck, if it was pleasureable with the scent that was so Kagome surrounding every inch of him. He dipped his tongue into her lips and goddamn--he almost lost consciousness. It was better than he had ever fucking dreamed of. 

He may have gone a little mad with arousal when he dove in and began eating her out. Control was something he obviously lacked as he lapped up her juices and explored every inch of her sex with his mouth. Not that she seemed like she was complaining at all. No, if anything the cry of his name, the writhing of her body from the sensations he was giving her, and her grabbing his head (thankfully not his ears) pulling him closer only made him want to dive in more. 

She had a nub that seemed to really make her wail out louder when he played with that. He decided to focus on that area, thinking he teased her enough, especially from her begging him brokenly for--well he assumed completion. But she didn’t direct him to verbally do anything, only push his head to the nub. Again, who was he to tell her no?

He carefully took two fingers and placed them slightly at her opening, still not confident enough to insert them without some practice, and teased her. She seemed like she was losing her mind in the throes of passion. To be fair, so was he. He was grinding himself on the fucking grass to eleviate some of the pain of his hardened cock.

He realized she was coming when she yelled out his name and her body released more liquid onto his fingers, which he happily licked up. Once she had stilled from her convulsions, he slunk his way back up her body and laughed deeply at her blissed out expression.

“Inuyasha that was--”

“I got just as much out of it as you did--if not more,” he smirked and leaned down to kiss her. She hungirly accepted and reached for his hakama ties. He didn’t stop her and felt her foot come up and hook around it to help ease it down. Without removing his mouth from hers, he kicked off his pants and then hovered over her briefly to just take in the moment. Her flushed cheeks, the glistening sweat on her forehead, the glazed-over look of lust in her dark blue eyes…

“I love you, Inuyasha,” she told him as he sank himself down over her body and lined himself up to enter her.

He kissed her soundly as he dipped his tip to her entrance and his hair fell around them to envelope them in a silver curtain of privacy. As she wrapped her arms around him and spread her legs wider to open herself more to him, he whimpered. The tight heat that consumed his throbbing hardened cock was literally something he never thought he would feel; even in his dream he had never felt so much desperation. But he refused to move in fear of hurting her further.

"Inuyashaaa,” she moaned once he was fully seated inside of her.

“Are you alright?” He asked through gritted teeth. Fuck, he wasn’t a teenager anymore but at this rate he was gonna--

“Yes; stretched but-- it’s like we belong together. You fit perfectly,” she sighed as she brushed her fingers through his hair out of his face to look into his eyes.

She was right though. They did belong together. Then. There. Forever.

He was tentative when he first started pumping inside her but her cries and panting encouraged him. While she said she loved him for who he was, he was still scared he may hurt her. But her mews, pleas for more, and movements from her hips to return his thrusts, fuck, his bitch was amazing.

“Inu-Ya--” she said brokenly as those beautiful sapphire orbs closed and she whimpered.

He ground his hips in circles and brushed his pelvis against her sensitive clit, earning a high pitched cry, “What do you want Kagome? Do you want to be fucked by a demon?”

“Y-yes,” she pleaded using her hands to pull him by his hips closer if that was even possible. He pulled away and she whined, trying to pull him back, but once she figured out what he was doing she moaned his name in impatience.

He threw her legs upon his shoulders and reentered her hard. His cock was in deeper now, his hand was free from holding her leg close to his waist. He reached around and started pinching her very stimulated nub. She began mewling uncontrolablly and it was fucking glorious. To hear such pleasures he was bringing her only made his cock harder if that was even possible.

“Is that what you want Kagome?? To be with a demon?”

“Ahhhh,” she cried as he felt her walls tighten around him. God. Damn. “Yashhhhh,” she ground out flailing her head back and forth. Her breasts were bouncing with every hard and quick pound he gave her. His dick was just at the tip of her womb and he silently thanked Kami she wasn’t in fucking heat otherwise this night would have ended very differently.

He dipped his head to her ear and exhaled making her writhe further under him, “Are you gonna cum for me, Ka-Go-Me?”

“Gods--” he heard her swear before she wailed out her release into the night. Riding out her orgasm it took everything not to explode right then. He slowly eased himself back between her spread legs and sat her up. She was fucking gorgeous; her face was still glistening in sweat, her breathing was starting to calm from her orgasm but still audible to his demonic hearing--scratch that, even a mortal would be able to her her subtle groan and sigh, and her hair was wilder than normal. 

He cradled the back of her head to bring her into a kiss as he pumped into her before he couldn’t stave off his own release any longer. He broke the kiss when he felt his youki rising, his fangs growing--

Her hands brushing his cheeks and her accepting eyes calmed his initial panic. She pulled his face to be at her shoulder; she was silently asking him to mark her. He didn’t even mention that to her; he needed to make a note to thank Sango for likely educating her about mating behind his back.

His fangs bit down into her shoulder and she winced at the initial pain but relaxed into it as he spilled his seed inside her. Once he was completely drained, he unclamped his jaw and laved the spot on her neck he had marked then gave it a kiss. She was his. Forever.

“Kagome?”

“Mmmmm?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’ve never been better,” she said, taking his face into her hands again as she leaned in to kiss him.

“I meant--about you coming out here--”

“Oh… Yes and no. I think there’ll always be rougher days; but I have you to lean on. We’ll make it through together.”

He smiled and nuzzled her cheek as he wrapped her up in his haori. He threw his hakama back on along with his kosode and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Keeping her close, he just allowed her to snuggle into his chest for comfort over the long and tiring day. Her breathing evened out but he didn’t dare move. He wanted this moment to last forever.

[mudwingprince]

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT THINK ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT RADI0 OR ISOL, THEY'RE BOTH AMAZING PEOPLE THAT I LOVE VERY MUCH (/p) AND I WOULD NEVER THINK ANYTHING THAT HAS BEEN WRITTEN

I WROTE IT FOR THE PURPOSE OF THE STORY WHICH IS (almost) ENTIRELY FICTION

anyways, onto the story (and triggers)

Tw: Blood, death, symptoms of depression and PTSD, suicidal thoughts

I blinked. I blinked again. I tried to move, it hurt.

Right, I thought to myself. Immortality, how could I forget about that?! I pushed myself up into a sitting position. It was dark, which was weird. It was a white room with no windows or lights. Was it night? I looked around and spotted Isol, curled up. I watched the steady rise and fall of their furry sides. They were facing away from me. I guess it was night. I pushed myself off of the ground, careful not to make a sound as to wake Isol. Nausea and vertigo hit me like a boulder and I was tempted to let out a groan, but I protested against myself.

No, I can’t wake them… what happened… that was horrifying… I can't let it happen again.

I slowly crept towards the door that Radi0 (hopefully) escaped through, every step sending agony through my legs and spine. As I slowly turned the doorknob, making sure to keep an eye on Isol, Isol’s ear flicked up and they slowly raised their head. I froze. M-Maybe they wouldn’t notice me…? Their head turned towards the spot where I was lying and, when they found only a puddle of blood and paw prints, they whipped their head towards the door.

Shit.

I threw the door open and slammed it shut behind me just as Isol leaped towards me. Radi0 had been curled up on the door and, with the sudden movement, he jumped. He leaped to his feet, balling his hands in fists up against his chest as if to throw a punch. His eyes were wide and blood red and there were tear stains on his cheeks. I pushed myself up against the door as Isol clawed, scratched and slammed on the door, screaming.

“M-Mind helping here?” I grunted to Radi0, putting all of my weight on the door and thrashing my tail. I’m so tired. He jumped into action and leaned on the door beside me.

“You’re… alive?” He asked, well, muttered seemed better. It was kind of hard to think of good grammar considering the circumstances.

“Y-yeah? And?” I replied sharply. The amount of blood that was dripping off of me was… concerning… to say the least. I wanted to fall asleep and pretend like Isol, our friend, wasn’t a real threat right now… I coughed and was almost flung away from the door due to all of the banging. I regained my balance and leaned against the door again. I felt so�� shitty… That… made sense though, I just died after all.

“Are… you okay?” Radi0 muttered with a sniff. I glanced at him and licked the tangy blood off of my teeth with my sharp, forked tongue.

“I just died, of course I’m not,” I snapped. “Imagine having to feel this shitty every time you accidentally choke on a grape,” I raised my voice so Isol could hear me. “OR WHENEVER YOUR FRIEND KILLS YOU OVER A FUCKING VIDEO GAME!!”

Could I even call them a friend anymore? I thought, friends don’t kill each other… that’s… that’s not a normal thing… right?

“We’re running,” I whispered to Radi0 after another minute of holding the door shut. “On the count of three, we both go, okay?” He nodded. That was all I needed.

“Three.”

“Two.”

“One.”

As soon as the last word came out of my mouth we ran in the opposite direction of the door. After ten minutes of running, I was quickly falling behind Radi0, everything was getting harder to make out. Radi0 slowed to a stop.

“W-what… are you… doing?” I muttered in between gasps. My voice sounded gravelly and rough. I hated this.

“They’re… not following… us… anymore…” Radi0 replied, panting. “Are… you okay?” He asked again. Why did he keep asking me this?

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine,” I replied, wiping the blood away from my lip. I gave him a weak smile. “Are you?”

“... I’m… I’m worried about you, Mud,” He said. I was silent for a second. Why would someone worry about me? Did I really mean that much to someone?

“Why?” I asked, although it sounded more like a statement.

“‘Why’? Are you serious Mud?” He said, shocked. “Y-you’re bleeding, and you look like you’re gonna pass out, AND YOU SAID YOU JUST DIED?!” I glanced away from him. All of that was true. I was bleeding a lot. And I did feel like I was about to collapse. And I did just die.

“I just…” I replied. “G-gotta sleep it off… That always helps…” Radi0 wrapped his arm around my torso and I leaned on him.

“Maybe we should get you somewhere warmer…” Radi0 said, pointing up at the cloudy sky. The sky… The sky! We weren’t in that other place anymore, I could feel soft grass beneath my paws again! How long had it been since I was outside anyway? “Hey, over there looks pretty sheltered?” Radi0 pulled me out of my thoughts. I nodded, not even looking at where he was pointing. We trekked along until we got to a fallen tree. It’s uprooted roots hung over the ground like a tent. We sat down under the tree and I curled up.

“I’m… going to get firewood…” Radi0 said. He paused. “If you need anything, call for me, okay?”

“Trust me, I won’t need anything,” I replied sarcastically. I closed my eyes and let sleep take hold of me for the night.

Radi0 rubbed at his eyes as he walked through the dense forest, occasionally stopping to pick up large twigs and sticks.

He’s going to be fine, Radi0 told himself repeatedly. They managed to survive Isol’s attack, he’ll be able to survive by themself. Suddenly, a disturbing thought entered his mind, I won’t be able to survive by myself. I’m weak. Pathetic. I let him do that. They told me to run. I deserve to die… Radi0 picked up another stick, barely able to hold the amount that he had. That would be enough, right? He didn’t even know how to make a fire, how was he going to keep both of them warm? He started his walk back to the fallen tree. His thoughts still screaming at him.

I failed to stop them. I’m a horrible friend. He wouldn’t want me back there. Why does he even consider me a friend? Do they even consider me a friend at this point? I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t… I’m a horrible person. I should’ve let Isol kill me. It would be better that way…

He was so wrapped up in his overwhelmingly disturbing thoughts, he hadn’t realized that he had made it back to the tree. Mud had fallen asleep. His wounds were still open. Radi0 should probably help them clean that up. He placed the sticks and twigs down in the dirt near Mud, arranging them in a cone. He grabbed one of the smaller sticks and started rolling it between his hands, like he had seen in the shows. After five minutes of rolling, Radi0 was starting to get frustrated. It still wasn’t working. He didn’t have the energy or motivation to do it anymore, but he knew he had to, they would both get cold in the incoming rain without it. He continued. After fifteen minutes, there was a spark, and then another, and then another, until the entire cone of wood was lit up in flames. By now, the storm had already hit. Radi0 turned away from the fire and faced out from the cover of the roots. He stared off into the distance and dove into his thoughts once again.

Does he even care about me? If they do… why? I didn’t do anything to protect them, I just ran away, like the coward that I am. I was ready to let them die. I was ready to run. But I want to protect him! That’s what good friends would do! They protect each other!

Another voice. This one chilled him to the bone.

You’re lying. You’re lying to yourself and everyone you love. You’re a fucking fraud. A liar. A fake. Stop putting on a brave face and show them your true colors. You’re a coward. To think you’ve gotten away with this for so long. You-

The voice was cut off by Mud. He was shuffling in his sleep, beads of sweat decorating their forehead. Radi0 noticed that their injuries had healed immensely, even when he had completely forgotten (add that to the list of what he needs to scold himself on later). Suddenly, they shot upright, trying to catch their breath.

“Are you okay?” Radi0 asked, frantically looking around to see if they were okay physically.

“Nightmare,” Mud rasped, hugging themself. “It’s nothing serious.” Radi0 glanced at him, then pulled his knees up to his chest, mirroring Mud.

“It’s all going to be okay…” Mud muttered. “I hope you know that. We’ll find a way to make peace with Isol, while getting them to play Omori at the same time.” They let out a weak laugh. Radi0 chuckled with them and smiled out into the forest. It’s going to be okay.

[mushi-shield]

reason why I really love Tom McDonald music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6FmwBPDT-w  "People So Stupid"

What a contradiction, being human is so tragic Focus on minorities, ignoring all the masses Hallelujah, everyone, activism saved the planet No more plastic straws in paper Just paper straws wrapped in plastic, congratulations

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxJtX081jj4   "WHITEBOY"

I would never hate a man for what God gave him in pigments And I would never plot against him just because he is different I would never judge a human for the cards he was given or Call them lesser than myself 'cause of the race that he's mixed with

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omMpqbuyDdc   "Straight White Male"

Fine, y'all don't gotta be my friends Y'all don't gotta like white men Y'all don't gotta hold my hand Y'all don't gotta have my back Y'all don't gotta, y'all don't gotta, y'all don't gotta, uh Y'all don't gotta see my side Y'all don't gotta be down to ride Y'all don't gotta do anything but ghost And I'mma do me even when it's the most, yeah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ita4g_oDyns  "Politically Incorrect"

Don't let 'em censor your thoughts Don't let 'em make you regret that you talked Don't let 'em tell you that nice is the law Tryna make you all right here when nothing is wrong, yeahWords hurt you, clothes hurt you Memes hurt you, jokes hurt you, we hurt you Half the time you don't even probably know what hurt you But you super mad, trust we heard you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHBMbZdCpSk  "Cancelled"

I don't care if you mad at me, okay? Go ahead and change the channel Don't waste your time tryna cancel me, okay? They love me 'cause they know that I'm an asshole Say what you want, I guess it is what it is Haters can talk but they can't cancel the kid Go 'head and go off, try and say this is it But I swear to God, you can't cancel the kid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2l6JUNFAJ9o  "Fake Woke"

Use violence to get peace and wonder why it isn't working That's like sleeping with a football team to try and be a virgin Politicians are for sale and someone always makes the purchase But you and I cannot afford it, our democracy is worthless If a man has mental illness call him crazy, say it silently When country's going crazy we accept it as society

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t86ClLM3ZGY  "NO LIVES MATTER"

Freedom's dead, if you have an opinion, take it back (facts) People hate the president, if you don't then you trash (facts) Indoctrinate the nation using news and mainstream rap (facts) The government abuses us, it's all part of the plan (facts)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2K1xQOp4qo  "White Trash"

This is for my white trash, the ones the whole world hate The ones who voted for Trump, got labeled racist but ain't The ones with ball caps, "Make America Great" Who love their country to death Who struggle on minimum wageAyy, they angry about illegal aliens Takin' work that maybe they could get Single parents with some baby kids Hated for being a patriot All my life, I've been white trash All my life, it's been like that The whole world been left leanin' I'm proud of the right who fight backBeen chewed up and spit out They scream but no one listens They're so in love and vote for Trump 'cause fuck a politician They're our neighbors They're our soldiers, our men and women and children They're middle class families who got forgot by the systemUh, in God we trust and all the guns are just backup Rockin' camouflage, don't tread on me, get smoked like tobacco Yeah, we're white trash, we rednecks, crackers since we were young We grew close, we move slow, these colors don't run

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT5DpOiQ_WA   "Fake Fans" (DISS) 

Look, I ain't changing for a buck, I ain't changing for a fan I ain't changing nothing up, this is who the fuck I am If you fuck with me, I'll hope that y'all enjoy it Beware of all the fake fans trying to destroy it, yeahI ain't switching it up, I am the man that I was Way before I blew up and everyone fell in love Never once gave a fuck, been doing me from the jump And I will never become the man that you wish I was

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeb7bVA3pjE   "Im Sorry"

Sorry, that doesn't bother me I don't owe anybody an apology I don't have no regrets in my biology Reload and shoot for the stars, y'all look like astronomy No one as hot as me, copy me commonly Wannabes, y'all are so shockingly comedy Carry the weight of my songs all on top of me I will not break, I'm not made out of potteryBury your bodies on acres of property Place them at angles like sacred geometry Down with modesty Everything I drop is quality Promise, like honestly, follow me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Ntpeih4f4&t=236s  "Buttholes"

Someone's always gonna hate you no matter what Might as well just be yourself and let people think you suck Opinions are like buttholes, everyone got one they cover up And all you gotta do is follow through When you're yelling that you don't give a fuckI ain't letting anyone piss in my Cornflakes Stay the hell out my face, and I will stay out of your way I know that life is cruel, and lately it ain't fair at all You hate your job, your phone is lost, there's evil men and racist cops Yeah, I don't care if you are black or white or gay or straight Or old or young or smart or dumb or where you're from or what you make The only thing I care about is living like I'm not afraid Of dying while I'm sleeping, so I seize it while I'm still awakeWe're so angry, hating everyone we don't know We can't even take a joke, we should really let it go And be happy, stop talking shit on our phones And blocking everyone we know, we've been being buttholes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueyNLoRWdao  "American Dreamz"

We're distracted by free porn and compilation videos of puppies and kittens While our children use the internet to bully one another and then purchase ammunition So addicted to your phone that you ignore the kids and never give them any supervision So they learn to build a bomb with things you keep inside your kitchen and you wonder how they ended up with life inside of prison We mourned a dead gorilla, but don't care when it's a person, we're forgetting that we're human We're angry that chickens are being locked up in cages and then forget we do the same to kids in our institutions When they ask you about stupid shit, you tell 'em they should Google it Then you wonder why the troubled youth are homicidal lunatics You think it's tragic when a shooter killed a student But then say it's all a plan for them to change the constitution

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ4tAbwi31I  "Castles"

  Everybody's got a story; if you look a little closer, you can see it in the wrinkles in their face They can hide it in the silence, they can bury it and fight it, but it comes out when their hair is turning grey You can feel it if you touch 'em, you can tell that they are troubled, you can hear the story running through their veins We all travel different roads, and we put on different clothes; underneath it all, we're really all the same

Everybody has a tale that they're too afraid to tell, you can see it in the cracks in their hands They can cover it with smiles; if you walk a couple miles in their shoes, then you'll know where they stand Everyone who really lived had to climb out of a ditch they were in before they found the right path If you wanna know the truth about what we've been going through, then try to put your phone away so you can ask

We've all got problems, and we all feel alone We've all been haunted by the secrets we hold We could fill our coffins with the rocks they have thrown Or we could build our castles with the sticks and the stones We've all got problems, and we all feel alone We've all been haunted by the secrets we hold We could fill our coffins with the rocks they have thrown Or we could build our castles with the sticks and the stones

We are the neighbors that you'll never meet We are the strangers walking down your street We are a million faces in the crowd We are the ones the system's tearing down We are the people working to survive We are more than just our nine-to-fives We are the shopping malls and streetcars We are one, it's time to tell 'em just who we are

[enderspawn]

🎼 (I can’t find the correct emoji lol) exile arc tommy?

Oh boy! (opens up breakdown playlist) /hj

Montreal – Penelope Scott

Sleep with a Baseball Bat – Cosmic Johnny

Brother – Gerard Way

breakdown under cut, tw for suicidal ideation on the first song esp

1.       Montreal – heehee hoohoo suicidal/depression thoughts baby!!

I mean in short this is tommy saying he wont Survive exile. The intro of the song lists when the singer would be home from college/school and that “another 90 day summers gonna take [their] fucking life” which is rlly just. Tommy not gonna live THAT long in exile.

“And I would rather die And let me make it clear It's nobody's fault But I think we all know That I won't make it to Montreal”

So the thing here is that its “nobody’s fault” bc on one hand it is that he doesn’t blame tubbo but worse he doesn’t blame DREAM. Its just meant to happen, its not bc of anybody, yknow?

“And I would rather die I'll jump before I'll fall And I'm having lots of fun But I won't make it Montreal”

Mans tried to jump to his death before he “fell” whether bc of dream or an accident, hes makin the active CHOICE to end it rather than just waiting. Even w the fun he’s having w dream, he’s miserable and he knows he wont make it to see lmanberg again

“You like to talk about the future As if it's real And when you tell me that you love me I can almost feel it”

Dream keeps promising him stuff for the future. Maybe he can visit to see the tree, maybe he can get another visit, maybe he wont be alone. But tommy doesn’t care, its all fake to him (which like, it is so good for him but fjkdlsjf)

“It's not that it's a bad plan No, the plan fucking slapped I was so excited you don't know how bad I wanted all of it The coffee shop, the weather, the apartment But I don't want anything anymore I don't know, I guess I just got bored”

Okay so. Tommy kept trying to get shit together to leave, right? He wanted to go back so bad and have this domestic life w his friends but in the end he just got so downtrodden that after his shit got blown up he was so ready to just GIVE UP.

“And I don't wanna die I don't wanna get left behind But it's better half than none I hope to god you have some fun”

He doesn’t want to be in this situation, he still CARES abt the lmanberg crew but in the end hes been told that they’re happy WIHTOUT him. He’s not angry at them, not anymore, he just wants them to be happy bc he isn’t.

2.       Sleep with a Baseball Bat – tommy and dream relationship baby!!

“And every time you wake up Thinking this could be the day Well something, something just”

Every day in exile he had no real plans. He just had to exist out there alone and hope someone else came. This IS the day he can do…. Something. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t have a goal.

“And when your love is an anxiety attack Don’t settle for that, don’t settle for that And when you wake and find the claw marks in your back Sleep with a baseball bat, sleep with a baseball bat”

Hes been manipulated into thinkin dream is his friend, that dream “loves” him but it makes him miserable! Hes paranoid and stressed and falling apart!! Boy!!! Fjdsklfj

“Siena says you’re getting used But something’s broken in your head And you can’t run away when you need to”

The other ppl who visited him, like ranboo, KNEW something was happening and that he was in a bad place but tommy had been manipulated by dream so much that he couldn’t process it. No, dream couldn’t be bad, dream was his friend, right? He couldn’t leave exile, dream would be upset. Its all what DREAM wants, not tommy.

“Hey, space cadet Are you still floating round the rock That you spent so much of your life trying to get away from? And does it at least look different from up there?”

OKAY SO ONE. SPACE CADET? THAT’S CLARA BABY!! TWO: he spent ALL his time on this server fucking fighting dream, trying to “get away from” him. But now hes stuck “floating around” with him as his “friend”. The last line feels sarcastic and bitter but like. FUCK it hits, yknow??

“It might take a couple tries till you believe it But love is real, you’ll figure it out, you’ll live to see it But you still have to take a couple of falls And you can’t make an omelet without breaking your balls So batter up Is your bed made? Is your helmet on?”

HAPPY ENDING POG!! HE STARTS HEALING!!!! HE STARTS REALIZING DREAM WASN’T HIS FRIEND!!! He still “falls” and relapses into wanting dream w him but hes so much better!!! Also,,,,, “is your helmet on” w the turtle shell helmet (eyes emoji)

3.       Brother – IF TECHNO AND TOMMY NOT BROTHERS WHY THIS SON—(gunshot rings out)

Okay so on a serious note this song is abt addiction and while I don’t want to take away from that Serious Topic, it Does relate but w tommy dealing w his ptsd of dream

“And brother, if you have the chance to pick me up And can I sleep on your couch To the pound of the ache and pain? Oh, in my head 'Cause I'm awake all night long To the drums of the city rain”

Hhrhnrng staying at technos place to hide from dream and get better a lil JFKDLSJK. Also “the drums of the city rain” is referenced a LOT in this song but like. It keeps him up so,,,,,, dream JFKDLSJF. Mans barely ever slept in exile so it WORKS okay jfkdlsjf

“The lights we chase The nights we steal The things that we take to make us feel this (To the drums of the city rain)”

This is him and techno livin together!! Like in the first chorus you could see lights we chase being tommy finding techno’s place, then later it’s the lights of lmanberg as they sneak in. the nights they steal is both just time spent together and also straight up the times they stole shit JFKDSLJ. “the things that we take to make us feel” is the gapples tommy always eats so that he can feel safe (also, bc in the og song this is PROBABLY abt drugs and potions are drugs in universe so. Arguably getting a potion effect from the apple means it is Also Drugs? Fjdkslfj)

“I can't go back I don't think I will I won't sleep tonight as long as I still Hear the drums of the city rain”

Go back to logstedshire or lmanberg you ask?? The answer is yes. Both. He feels like he doesn’t belong in lmanberg and logstedshire is too traumatizing for him to return at this point. As long as he “hears the drums of the city rain”, or is thinking of dream, he Cant Sleep:tm:

“Does anyone have the guts to shut me up? 'Cause I believe that every night There's a chance we can walk away So hold on tight Because I won't wait too long In the drums of the beating rain”

Okay so hear me out but. This is just tommy and dream. “I believe that every night theres a chance we can walk away” is tommy hoping desperately for dream to let him go home, to walk away from logstedshire. He never will be permitted, not really, but theres a chance that tommy clings to. He wont “wait too long” while out in exile and stuck w dream bc hes desperate and miserable (also fun fact these analysis is basically me just pmv’ing shit in my head and rambling vaguely abt it but like. Listen,,,, flashback verse jfkdsljf) ALSO. The line “does anyone have the guts to shut me up” in relation to exile!tommy is just VERY important to me. Mans was so quiet and afraid to speak up when in exile.

“'Cause the nights don't last And we leave alone Will you drive me back? Can you take me home? (To the drums of the city rain)”

Following up that last paragraph, this is still in flashback. The days end and dream leaves again, making tommy alone. He asks if he can go back, if he can see home and lmanberg and everyone. But echoing the “to the drums of the city rain” after home CAN imply that “home” has become logstedshire WITH DREAM even tho it keeps him up and aaAAAAAHHHH

I swear this ends up okay and techno + tommy focused fjkdsljf

“Faces I don't know I am tired in the glow”

He feels isolated from everyone during his exile and lashes out at those who visit, to the point he feels like they’re all more or less strangers and “faces he doesn’t know”. Being tired in the glow is, imo, him over the lava.

“Of the freezing club Keep me breathing Don't make the lights come back Can you take me home? We all need this When we leave alone”

Hhhngg okay so tommy breakdown time! Hes in techno’s house (the freezing club) and is just pleading for techno to help. Don’t let “the lights come back” (lava again maybe? He doesn’t want to be Like This?) and just wants to feel like hes at home because hes just left exile and hes Messed Up Over It

“Remember when you and I would make things up? So many nights, just take me down To the place we can hear them play I miss that sound 'Cause now we don't sing so loud To the drums of the city rain”

OKAY SO THEY MAY NOT BE CANON FAMILY BUT WILBUR REMEMBERS SPARRING W TECHNO AS A KID AND PHIL IS HIS CLOSE FRIEND SO THEY STILL KNEW EACH OTHER AS KIDS SO SHUSH FJSDKL. Tommy just wants things to go back to how they were, before everything. When things were easy and they were kids just having fun. He misses it. Before exile, before lmanberg, before dream. But it doesn’t matter, because they’re stuck in this now. With his brother dead and his closest friend being the man who killed his best friend and helped blow up his country. Again, the drums of the city rain is dream. Because of his influence, its all different.

Hhhngngngn this is too long so I wont go into the last outro bc you can interpret it a LOT of ways, esp depending on how you want to Pace this song w the exile arc. But like. The analysis is THERE if you really wanna push it/animatic it babeyyy

[amazingorangedangantrash]

The only ending everyone seems to ignore is v3 because it’s just... it’s just a mess.

How do feel about this game survivors? And do you think that everyone woke up from the simulator or tv show like sdr2 or only the survivors?

Hoo boy...

Honestly nonny, having only finished the dang thing yesterday I... don't know.

(I kinda went off into a spiel, so feel free to skip to the part where I talk about survivors and what I think happens next)

I understand the mixed response a LOT. I mean- I see what they were going for. The 4th wall break was cool, and the (sorta?) reappearance of past characters was pretty damn awesome. I like that the creators are definitely self aware- and there's a kind of 'learn to laugh at yourself' sort of thing.

On the other hand it can almost seem a little too mocking?

I get the whole yaknow. 'Fictional characters are aware they're fictional and rebel against their creators' thing but- like-?

As I mentioned before, thing is, Tsumugi is not us? We aren't exactly intentionally cruel? There's a BIG difference between the kind of fiction in our world and in their world.

What does Tsumugi call it? "Real fiction"?. Yeah- thing is- we don't have that. We don't have the technology for it, and I certainly hope we wouldn't abandon ethics for it either!!! We can't have 'real' fiction, because in our world, all fiction is fake! The closest you have is fiction about real people, perhaps, but- that's not even remotely the same thing?

So it does come across as a little... um- preachy.

We're supposed to represent the audience but... like- the audience fucking suck! What was that they said during the argument armament? "This guy should have died instead of Kaede!" Like- fucking hell. Imagine saying that to someone, who can HEAR you say it, and who's MURDER you could potentially watch unfold before your very eyes as a result of YOUR actions. I mean- look how empathetic some of us are to ACTUAL fictional characters. Could you imagine if we were in a similar situation to the outside world in V3???

Maybe it's because I keep imagining the v3 cast as like- sentient AI, instead of "just fiction". Because I can't imagine anyone being so sadistic or apathetic otherwise.

So uh- yeah. I don't... know how I feel about that. It's not- very satisfying?

With sdr2, the whole "none of this is real, the killing game is all a lie, you're in a fake world!" felt like a relief ! Whereas here it's more like- "what?? It's all fake? What the hell was the point then?!"

"Nothing matters!" vs "nothing matters..."

The whole HOPE VS DESPAIR, FUTURE VS PAST thing worked, because, well, it's something we can all understand. We have all felt hope and we have all felt despair. We've all, at some point in our lives, felt stuck in the past, unable to or scared to move on.

(Hey- some of us still feel like that now, even).

The first game was very simple- hope and despair. Still relatable, but fairly basic- effective to set up the foundation for the follow up.

The second game made things a little more complicated. Sometimes it's more complicated then just- choosing between Hope and Despair. We refuse to fall into Despair, but we can't just blindly have Hope.

So we choose the Future. We can't promise it'll be a good one OR a bad one. But whatever happens- we need to move on. The only way we can make things change is by making that choice, to create our OWN future.

V3 felt very... complex. It started to get kind of... uh... philosophical? And- don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with that. It just... it kind of shifted from TRUTH VS LIE to FICTION VS REALITY. And whilst the latter definitely sounds interesting- I don't really know if I liked the direction they took with it-? I wish they'd kept the focus on TRUTH VS LIE a lot more.

(Fiction and Reality are like extensions of Lie and Truth but- only to a certain extent? Really?)

It's kind of harder to get into the final fight in V3 because... what are you fighting? The outside world? I mean- I can't speak for the rest of you, but as far as I'm aware I'm not a fictional character.

(If I am- then wow someone's a reallly bad writer huh?)

I can relate to Hope. I can relate to Future.

I can't relate to Fiction.

I THOUGHT maybe the message was a warning of the dangers of escapism ('please dont go as far as to erase your own personality just to be a part of a type of fiction you like' definitely seems fitting for this fandom)- but the message "fiction has the power to change the world!" kinda contradicts that. I mean- I do like that message, but- I don't like the idea of a series about killing games being heavily influential-!

The whole problem was that people grew so obsessed with the series that they threw away their lives! Is that not the point you should be focusing on-!!!!

The outside world in this universe fucking sucks. So they changed their mind, big DEAL! that's not comforting knowing they let this shit continue for 53 seasons-! I mean, maybe Makoto and Hajime were all 100% fictional, but at some point they started putting real people into these games, and everyone was ok with that!

I just-

I'm glad Shuichi got through to them at last but...

Someone said something which resonated with me- "in a vacuum, this is good". Like... on it's own, I thought the ending was great! It was entertaining, for sure. And the whole concept and stuff was unexpected and interesting. You gotta give em points for originality.

The problem comes with it being the 3rd game in a series. (Ignoring UDG I mean-). When a series becomes a Trilogy, you gotta make it good. This is presumably the last game in the (main) series too. And- after the UTTER NARRATIVE DISAPPOINTMENT of dr3- can you blame people for wanting more? People fell in love for THH and SDR2 (and UDG even if its not part of the main series) for a reason- and, for me at least, a biiiig part of that reason was the continued storyline. The last chapter of sdr2 was the hypest shit EVER. when you see glimpses of the previous game bleed into this one, only for it to turn into what's like- a full crossover???? The previous game isn't just mentioned, it's a straight up sequel!!!! I had absolutely no idea Makoto and co would return (i thought the games were separate) so when i saw that they'd be interacting with the new cast- yoooooooooooooooo-!

Hell, even seeing alter ego again made me go WILD.

V3 plays upon these expectations, and subverts them, but... not necessarily in a good way? You- kind of feel cheated? (Idk if you're an avengers fan, but- it's like expecting *Endgame* and instead getting...

Well- Endgame).

The ending isn't bad persay it's just- not quite what one would expect? I can definitely understand why people are disappointed. The problem is, instead of standing alone, you can't help but consider it as part of the series. Individually, I don't think the ending was that weak or bad, but in comparison to the series as a whole?

Meh.

SURVIVORS

(Oh my- I really got off track, oh dear. I'll- get back to what you asked now.)

KEEBO

W H Y

They rllly gonna rub salt in the wound huh?

(Whilst i dont dislike the other survivors, there are a LOT of people i really really wanted to see make it to the end, and it's just the final god damn nail in the coffin to kill off the last of the few characters I came even close to liking the most-)

Killing keebo was dumb

Maki- I liked Maki quite a bit! She's a bit cold, yeah, but I warmed up to her after hearing her backstory.

I found it annoying (if understandable) that no one trusted her at first. I thought it was sweet that her, Kaito and Shuichi had this friendship trio. They really trusted each other- it was very refreshing. I also love me a strong girl. Her romance thing with Kaito was a little... forced. I'd have found it more meaningful if they kept it more subtle/ambiguous (though i suppose they needed smth to use against her in the final trial sooo-).

Himiko-

I-

*sigh*

Ok I'm going to say this once, and once only.

Someoneonthedrteamhasabigthingforlolis

OK! I SAID IT- AND IM NEVER SAYING IT AGAIN

No judgement here of course. Just. Uh. Y-yeah-

(I'm mainly kidding of course, idek if Himiko counts as a loli but-)

I mean... I'm not... the fondest of very small, childish girl characters (Saionji intensifies). I like a bit of childishness in a character but- i mean- it depends.

(I'll never recover from the "seductive whisper" thing from the love suite event

Never.

Never ever.)

Himiko comes across as like An Actual Child at times and at the start it was VERY annoying. Surprisingly, I warmed up to her eventually. I knew in advance she'd be a survivor so i kinda thought "well she's gonna stick around so might as well try to like her". I do appreciate that she underwent a character arc too, and it was sweet to see how she became a more active, determined person. I wish it hadn't taken Tenko's death for her to finally start changing but whatever. She is quite a cute character and after a while became more endearing then annoying.... (for the most part).

Was she in my top 3 picks for a survivor? No.

The top 10 even?

N-no-

I'm glad she's still alive though. SOMEONE damn well needs to be.

Tsumugi- ah. She's not a survivor, is she? I knew well in advance she was the mastermind so I didn't really warm up to her all that much during the final chapters, for obvious reasons.

Shuichi- if shuichi hadn't survived I think that would have been the breaking point for me, honestly.

Overall- uh... they aren't... the ideal picks. Shuichi is the only one I really wanted to see survive, I was neutral towards the others. Tbh I was just happy anyone was alive by the end of that.

Waking up- for the sake of my sanity, I like to think that after the survivors wake up, they threaten to sue and/or maim the shit out of the dr team if they don't start on reanimating their 'dead' friends right fucking now. Surely they gotta keep their consciousness' somewhere in those memories banks right? I mean- what if they ever wanted a "surprise return from the dead" plotline? Surely they gotta keep em somewhere? Right?

Whether or not they reawaken as their in-game or pre-game selves, who knows. Whichever you prefer, I guess. Maybe a mixture of both.

[phoenixpinks]

Things Team Lazarus said during EoD starters

"When all else fails, Lex Luthor intends to kill Superman with Death." "HOLY BAT, BATMAN!" "WAIT SO WAIT WHAT???" "We're not in any danger! We're just nerds solving riddles on the internet!" "I ain't dressing up every night to find someone to punch" "I don't need to dress up every night to find someone to punch" "my son won't respond to my texts about wearing a bullet proof best, he is so grounded" "HELLO NAUGHTY CHILDREN IT'S TIME FOR FEAR" "NO FORTS. ONLY JUSTICE." "we're conventing court in the fort" "We pun to forget tears though" "Im gonna release all of these come the end of this, nothing is sacred" "he faked his death to get away from us" "but, it's all in good pun" "This is our life now" "you could have fit a meme in there" "oh god it is going to be a time thing" "yes how dare you say a meme I don't know, or whatever that is" "it only hurts if you let it hurt" "lies, I almost cried last night I will have none of your nonsense" "i am of a sensitive disposition. everything hurts" "Worse than my solving my problems with ___ and cocaine idea?" "you don't mix ANYTHING with cocaine, instant death" "Can I mix water with cocaine" "I may not have a coffee problem but I am surrouned by 5 different types of soda cans rn" "the soccer van, but for super villains" "we can alwats tie some people to the top of the car with bungee cords" "free test subject right here" "Ya'll gnna get yourselves killed" "My guy I'm lowekey terrified 24/7." "you're always screaming" "ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT" "I'M NOT SURE ABOUT ANYTHING" "you do not need to focus on that" "bye whoever’s leaving, I can't keep track of all of you" "you're attractive and love crime, I'm attractive and love crime. Let's be attractive and commit crimes together." "Dr we will never send puns again if you promise to stop getting into death traps" "I only said it was nice to see him again with the living. I may not sound it, but I'm absolutely ecstatic" "wow I mean he's probably not the best at running" "Kick him in the knees" "Hes DIED, He'll be fine" "I COME HOME TO PAIN!!!!" "fuck you ____ you suck at taking care of yourself" "Yes now shut up and sleep in a bed tonight instead of a ditch" "Being unconscious does not count as sleep" "IT'S NOT THE PUNISHMENT YOU DESERVE, BUT IT'S THE PUNISHMENT YOU NEED" 'We need justice for these puns" "Honestly anyone int he crowd might have snapped and shit him just to shut him up" "it was me guys" "you did the world a service fam" "YOU HAVE TAINTED HIM" "WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE, ____" "Nnnnnng that hurt me" "i gtg, I want to finish this report before 3 A.M" "procrastination at its finest" "get in losers we're going spooping" "Why have we formed a cult" "This was not what i expected when i first asked to join the skype group" "All groups of friends make cults at some point" "would it be irresponsible of me to send a message saying 'run bitch run'? "WHEN I TOLD HIM TO KICK ASS AND TAKE NAMES THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT" "I GO ON WARCRAFT FOR TEN FUCKING MINUTES AND IT ALL GOES TO SHIT" "I instinctively covered my ears at the gunshots but then I remembered I was wearing headphones" *does the 'I'm so smart' dance "Mother always told me I was special" "I hope we're blowing this way out of proportion but at the same time this would be a hilarious plot twist" "WHOO BOY SCREENSHOT" "He's moved from senpai to fam" "He's probably lughing in his cellar" "dial dow the thirst there my dude lmao, ily thou" "I for one always overreact" "I never overreact. WHY. ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY SOMETHING" "___ ARE YOU ON HELIUM???" "I COME BACK AND WHAT DO I FIND" "WHY CAN'T THE RIDDLES LEAD SOMEWHERE SAFE!?! LIKW I DON'T KNOW! A DUCK POND OR I DON'T KNOW!!" "because my mind went from 'do we know any duck themed villains' to that weird French duck from courage the cowardly dog" "SHE'S HATING ON MY BOI JULIUS CAESAR" "it's been 2060 years __ im" "knife to meet your boi julius caesar" "Ok i'll hit you up next year when it's 2061" "YOU CAN HIT ME UP WHEN I'M DEAD FAM" "___ has nominated me as a Fish, or a frog, I don't even know" "if im bill the lizard youre gonna be a fish w me" "MAYBE I LIKE BEING DROP KICKED" "there is so much anger on that voice that is just covered layer of 'fuck this'" "Really? Legwork? Oh, this is grand." "give me your free time im dying in work" "it's a supervillainy way though" "I'm already dating a weeb and then I come here and WHAT DO I SEE" "I'm going to smack you all" "Everyone go stand in the corner" "I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS OH MY GOD" "I never had an anime phase I win" "everybody loves him but the sentiment is not reciprocated" "i will be ashamed for the rest of my life, but sure" "time to Google... aight Google isn't helping" "Tfw you kill ___, Reblog if you agree" "he looks like you should just start punching him and never stop" "when did we start being about ____'s butt" "We're allowed to be proud because it's obvious the guy is salty and not happy with our success." "I'M DISOWNING YOU ALL, EVEN HIM" "oh hey it's midnight" "you can't cheat the champion of cheating" "you cheated and I shall cheat harder" "I'd hope that I'd at least be captured by honorable idiots" "NO DUMBO RIDES. ONLY JUSTICE." "you and I are on separate wavelengths than" "OKAY STRICTLY UPDATE THEY ARE NOW PLAYING WAKE ME UP INSIDE WHATS HAPPENING" "don't meme shame me bro" "Your memes are stale, and you are stale" "lol what is romantic human interaction" "what is human interaction" "what is interaction" "What is human" "this is the worst thing I have ever created and I will burn for this" "I look at him directly and said fuck you" "I gotta go eat dinner y'all are fucking insane" "I WILL RUN EXPERIMENTS IN THE BASEMENT WHO'S WITH ME??" "Do you have any redeeming qualities" "c'mon skype lemme transer sewing via you...." "are you kidding, this is better than all the tv shows I'm behind on" "MURDER ROADTRIP" "Rosaceae are refuscent, Violas are cerulean, Cane crystals are saccharine, homogeneous to you" "WE ARE THE BEST GROUPIES" "shes not even here, she chickened out of the fight" "Tfw your brain is memes" "Twf yer also an adult" "Yup. Exactly Sad O'Clock" "So sad o'clock is midnight o fifty, got it"

[ziracona]

Could you elaborate on that Gordon fan theory about him being an inside mole? I haven't heard of it before and it sounds intriguing. Plus ever since the small reference to him on the memorial in ILM, I've been wondering what your thoughts were on how he ended up

Oof, okay, buckle up. This will be the abridged version but that’s still gonna be long. (Don’t read if you want to avoid spoilers for the Saw franchise).

So, in Saw, Gordon is a fkn anomaly to most of the fanbase. Becuase he has a wildly solidified character. You watch Gordon & Adam both go through three different character arcs back to back, and trauma bond, and the second to last scene in Saw is this fkn devestating & beautiful one where—let me back up. So. Quick Saw summary. Two people wake up chained by the ankle to pipes in a small nasty abandoned bathroom with a corpse on the floor between them. They’re each left a tape recorder which tells them why they’ve been targeted (Gordon because he doesn’t value life enough which is evidenced by...? — real reason is he’s literally just the unfortunate Doctor who told John he had Cancer, and John Kramer is that petty of a stupid bitch. & Adam is grabbed becuase...Literally he didn’t even bump into John Kramer or something. The guy took him because he’s a starving early 20s kid who is a photographer, and John thinks his occupation & he are pathetic. I’m not joking. Or exaggerating. This is quite literally the given reason for torturing & killing Adam being fine to John). Anyway, Gordon’s wife and like 7 year old daughter have been kidnapped and are being held at gunpoint. Gordon is told that if he finds a way to murder Adam by six (poor Fkn Adam is 6 feet away & hears this whole tape) on the clock, they and he go free. Adam is told if he can stay alive until after six, he wins and can go free.

They spend then the remaineder of Saw trying, like you’d hope good, decent, or even medium or somewhat shitty people would, to help each other escape, rather than Gordon trying to kill Adam at all. They attempt to fake Adam’s death & fail bc they didn’t realize their shackles were wired & they could be zapped, which makes playing dead really hard. Initially they are frustrated by each other, especially Gordon, who is an adult & levelheaded, by Adam who is young and jouvenile and freaking out & being a pain at first, but they bond through attempting to escape & to figure out what’s happened to them, and also learn more truth about each other. Meanwhile you also get backstory on Jigsaw & the case, and follow Detective Tapp’s story through a few investigated murders, the loss of his partner, and to where he is following Gordon, whom he is convinced is Jigsaw, now. Back in the bathroom, Adam and Gordon reach 6 on the clock, and Gordon gets a phone call where the man holding his wife at gunpoint makes her tell him he failed his game & now she and their daughter have to die. His wife bites the man’s hand, and they fight, but all Gordon hears is screaming in his wife and child’s voices and gunshots, and he has a mental breakdown believing they’re being murdered on the other end of the phone. Then is electrocuted. Adam flips out and tries to throw small stones at Gordon’s body to wake him up, terrified he’s dead, and succeeds. Adam is overcome with relief, but Gordon has a full mental breakdown, almost having died and believing his family is dead, then swapping immediately to denial and convincing himself it’s not too late and he can still save them. Adam tries desperately to apologize and calm him down, then to in horror talk him into stopping while he watched Gordon begin to saw off his foot (Adam was given a saw for this purpose too, but his broke early on before they realized the saws were meant for their feet instead of the chains). Gordon does not stop, and Adam watches in horror as he cuts off his foot, crawls to the gun the dead body on the floor has been holding, and puts the one bullet he was given into it. He tells Adam while crying and breaking down that he’s sorry but he has to die he has to save his family. Adam begs him not to shoot, but he does.

Meanwhile, Bc he’s staking out Gordon’s home, Tapp hears shots, runs in, and is able to chase off the killer and save Gordon’s wife and daughter. He pursues the killer to the meat packing plan, where he is ambushed, struggles, and then is shot in the stomach and left for dead. The man, Zepp, makes it to the bathroom where Gordon tries to shoot him with the bow empty gun & screams at him for what he did to his family, who he still believes are dead, then breaks down crying again. Zepp takes out a gun and tells him he failed to kill Adam by 6, so he has to die. Gordon asks hopeless why, and he tells him those are the rules, then goes to shoot him while Gordon tries to shut his eyes and brace for death. Adam, who is not dead, grabs Zepp’s feet and drags him down in a surprise attack, rips the toilet bowl lid off the toilet, and beats him to death with it, saving Gordon, who watches in shock and then crawls over and puts a hand on his shoulder and gets him to stop beating the dead corpse. Adam is wounded & criying because gunshot wounds fkn hurt, & Gordon tries to comfort him. Tells him it’s just a flesh wound—it’s his shoulder—he’ll be okay. Just keep pressure on it. He has to go get help. Adam begs him not to leave him alone in the bathroom, but Gordon says he has to or he’s going to bleed to death (which is incredibly visually apparent). Adam tries to keep him, then watches him crawl and pleads for him to wait and asks if they’re going to be okay? Gordon tells him “I wouldn’t lie to you.” and gives him a reassuring smile while half dead and crawls out to look for help. Adam is left alone and searches Zepp’s corpse for keys to his shackle, then finds a tape exactly like his & Gordon’s. He plays it, and realizes to his horror this man Zepp was another victim, not Jigsaw. He was poisoned and told to kidnap Gordon’s family & shoot them both & Gordon if Gordon lost to earn an antidote, or just accept death and refuse to participate. While the tape plays, the corpse in the room with them stands up, and Adam realizes to overwhelming horror it has been alive the whole time, and it is Jigsaw, who wanted a front row seat to their torture, suffering, and death. He tries to grab Zepp’s gun & shooot him, but Jigsaw/John electrocutes him w a remote (the shackles are wired) and leaves, congratulating him on winning & telling him where his key is (it got flushed down a drain when Adam woke up, which John no doubt planned), then telling him “Game Over” and locking him alone in the bathroom because John’s a fake ass piece of shit who doesn’t even keep his promises & let the winners go.

The end scene between Adam and Gordon is phenomenal & heart wrenching (Saw is an amazing character piece of a film, & the first film is the reason it became a modern horror staple! Watch here if you’re curious! :’-]

While Gordon does eventually, under extreme duress, shoot Adam, he never wants to kill him, and they are definitely close by the end of the film (which is clear both from the way they treat each other, and their more decisive actions, like Adam risking his life to save Gordon after being shot by him & never seeking recompense for the gunshot, Gordon trying to help Adam & comfort him as well as get help for them both). This is the central relationship of Saw 1, and it’s really well done.

Then, in Saw 2, there’s just no mention of Gordon going back to save Adam. We wonder what happened, until Amanda & Danny stumble to the bathroom form Saw 1 & you are greeted by Adam’s decaying corpse still chained there. It’s later revealed that Gordon escaped the bathroom, cauterized his wound on a hot pipe because he knew he was going to die otherwise, then passed out from pain. John found him and took him to his workshop, where he nursed him back to health & gave him a prosthetic leg, before convincing him to join the team.

Understandably, this did not sit well with any of the Saw fandom. We fight about all kinds of stuff, but the one thing I’ve like, never seen disagreement on, is that it makes no fkn sense for Gordon to betray Adam like that after how close they were, and it makes even less sense he’d willingly join the man who super tried to murder his wife and kid. If it wasn’t for Tapp and Adam, Gordon, his wife, and his child would be dead now. John endangered all 3 intentionally, and did not save or spare any of them.

Still with me? So. Because of that, people started digging. Now, out of Jigsaw’s apprentices, Gordon is the only one who never takes a very active roll. He did not run games or kidnap people. Becuase he was a doctor, John called him in to do medical work for tests, such as sewing a key into the eye of the man from the cold open to Saw II. The only active work he takes is catching Hoffman at the end of Saw 3D & locking him in the basement, which John asked him to do if Hoffman killed Jill (which Hoffman does). This together with Gordon’s character led to a massive fan theory. Let me try to break it down.

After Saw 1, Gordon joins a support group for Jigsaw game survivors, and returns to his family. We get very little info about him period until Saw 3D though. However! Pre Saw 1, Jigsaw basically never lost, the cops never even got close. Suddenly after Saw 1, the entire gang falls apart, starting with Amanda and John, then finally Hoffman & Jill. In Saw 3, it’s revealed Amanda went back to the bathroom to kill Adam when he survived his test. She promises she’s there to help him when he wakes up scared and half dead in the dark, and then puts a plastic bag over his head and smothers him while he fights. This lead to a fan theory that Gordon went back to save Adam once he could (able to walk & not being shadowed by Jigsaw), but was too late, and decided to take revenge very carefully. However, Amanda has a shit track record of thinking she killed someone & not checking for a pulse (see Eric Matthews, who she thought she beat to death), so the even more popular theory is that Adam was not dead by the time Gordon got to him, and Gordon saved him and replaced his corpse with another. This theory is backed by the fact that Adam was shot in the shoulder, but when the body is seen in other films, it is both too decayed to be recognizable, and the gunshot wound is in the stomach (where Tapp was shot). Furthermore, when Amanda & Danny find Zepp and “Adam”’s bodies in Saw 2, Zepp, who was already partially bald, still has hair, yet Adam’s corpse is completely bald. The shackle is also on the wrong foot now, which would indicate it was removed and then replaced by someone in a hurry. Now, obviously it’s possible this was just a continuity error, but given that Saw usually has a good track record with continuity (and uses them a lot for big reveals), that gives more weight than usual to the theory.

So, this led to the idea that Gordon was able to either save Adam, or at least remove his body & bury it, replaced it with a fake (possibly Tapp? but considering the bodies wouldn’t be decayed enough for the skin to be missed if he did it when Adam was alive or in decent preserve even, and Tapp is considerably taller, I’d assume he, as a doctor, didn’t have too much trouble stealing a John Doe cadaver from the hospital) corpse in Adam’s clothes, then agreed to help Jigsaw becuase he was smart enough to know if he didn’t play along, John would kill him (he would, and has. He never lets people with dangerous information go). John also tends to have failsafes in place, like “if Gordon betrays me, kill his daughter” kind of stuff, so the theory is Gordon played along to keep his family safe, instead of going to the cops, since he knew at least Hoffman worked for Jigsaw already, and there might be more plants, and did his best to engineer the breakdown and eventual demises of the whole team from Saw 1 on. (Was the one who gave Hoffman the idea to threaten Amanda or the info to do it, intentionally failed to protect Jill from Hoffman to have an easy excuse to kill/see both dead, etc). Makes double sense if Adam was alive, becuase if Gordon revealed himself as mole, first thing Jigsaw & co would check is what else he messed with, and they knew he was close to Adam.

There’s a lot more details to it, but that’s the short version. Most people I know in the Saw fandom ascribe to it in a weird kind of “Look I know it’s probably just inconsistent character writing and in that case fuck Gordon he can go to hell, but since I truly don’t believe Saw 1 Lawrence Gordon would do this & there’s enough evidence for reasonable doubt, I choose to believe the convoluted theory that makes him make sense & also means Adam could maybe be alive” way. Including me. If Gordon really decides he has no issue with John after what he did to him, his baby girl, Adam, and his poor wife, joins him willingly & helps, then he’s as bad as Amanda & Hoffman & fuck that guy. But since the characterization doesn’t match /at all/ & there’s never an explanation given, & fan theory makes more sense, I tend to think of Gordon as if the fan theory is right? Although if you don’t & thus hate Gordon, 100% respect. I just cannot watch Saw 1 & believe Lawrence would join up for any reason but revenge & long con to keep family safe. I mean, he tried to kill a /friend/ to save his family. You’re really going to try to convince me the man who cut off his own foot by hand to try to save his wife and daughter would ever be cool with or forgive the man who tried to execute them for no reason? Uhhh, to quote Dr. Gordon himself,

I mean.

💁🏻‍♀️ You can’t convince me the man this hellbent on destroying the man who was threatening his family did not make him pay, and just decided to be pals. You can’t. It’s inconsistent writing. :’-] anyway, there’s other info too—one of the disguised figures who helps Lawrence take out Hoffman is the exact height Adam was, the plastic bag from Amanda is gone & the corpse in a different position, etc—been like 2 years so I don’t even remember it all, but it’s very fascinating. & that’s the short yet somehow still too long version of the Gordon theory I definitely did not proof read at all for which I apologize! It’s more convincing than I write it I swear I am just exhausted. :’-] But yeah, most saw fans ascribe to it, which is why we all seem to still like Gordon, and he’s so often shipped with Adam, both of which would probably otherwise seem massively confusing. Hope it helps!

(Oh! & in ILM, since i ascribe to that theory, I wrote him that way. Failed to save Adam, buried his body, then took slow, careful revenge on Jigsaw & co. to keep his family safe. Knows there are deaths he is not blameless for becuase of that, and is full of guilt over wondering if going to the police wouldn’t have saved people, even if he had understandable doubts & reasons for what he did. Is especially guilty for Adam’s death. Seeks to make reparations slowly his own way. [tho also soemtimes secretive characters lie to me until it becomes necessary for me to know, so it’s possible Gordon saved Adam & is hiding it, but given the whole gang is dead, I don’t know why he still would be, so I think ILM verse all he could do was bury the body]).

[chenle-dressed-in-black]

baldrs, neos, and kangs~  pt.1

     NCT mafia au with my own oc named Kang Sooyoung, who is a young girl born into one of the coldest mafias of them all. She’s trying to live on her own and cut ties with her family, but with everyone either looking out for her or waiting to kill her, it’s a lot harder than it sounds. 

     relevant people in this story who will appear a lot (every nct member appears at some point): johnny suh, dong sicheng, nakamoto yuta, and kim doyoung

warnings: language

word count: 1.6k

m.list

series m.list

     Sooyoung picks up her phone each time it rings, which is admittedly a bad habit she should start working on. “Hello?” 

     Her cousin, Gwen, mouths a question at her. Who is it? She’s sprawled across her purple velvet, four-poster bed. Her bare feet hang off the side of the bed lazily. She looks like she doesn’t have a care in the world, so nothing new there.

     “Are you even home?” It’s Sicheng, but Sooyoung should’ve expected that. “You’re not, are you?”

     He sounds irritated, which puzzles her. Gwen makes a face at her across the room. Sooyoung’s confused silence is enough to propel Sicheng into an exasperated explanation. “We’re going to the new Chinese restaurant tonight. You promised we could.” 

     “Oh.” She feels like shit. Gwen shakes her head and theatrically puts her hands on her forehead in feigned disapproval, but not surprise. Her thick, wavy hair doesn’t move with the gesture. “I completely—”

     “You forgot.” Sicheng steals the words right out of her mouth flatly. “You’re with your cousin, who’s having an emotional breakdown, so it completely slipped your mind. You’re really sorry, but we can do it another night next week.” 

     Sooyoung frowns, but she’s hopeful. “We can?”

     “No,” he deadpans. “I’m going home next week like I do every year the first week of spring.” 

     Gwen gracefully stands up, walking over to her cousin, who’s standing in the middle of the room on a plush fake-animal rug. Holding out her hand for the phone, she waits until a reluctant Sooyoung gives it over. Gwen takes a deep breath. “It’s not Sooyoung’s fault my boyfriend dumped me, Sicheng,” she says in a perfectly calm, sultry voice. “You know she’ll make it up to you.” 

     There’s a huff. “I know you’re family, but I don’t understand why Sooyoung is the one who has to solve all of your problems.” 

     “I’ll let that slide, lover boy.” Sooyoung’s eyes goes wide at that comment, but Gwen just shrugs her off. “I’m giving the phone back to the nice Kang now.”

     Sooyoung claws at the phone, shoving it back up to her ear. “I promise we’ll find another time. I’m not blowing you off.” 

     “Okay.” He’s clearly impartial at best and deeply upset at the worst. “Whatever you say. Gwendolyn should learn how to solve problems herself. She’s supposed to be the one who looks after you.” 

     Sicheng is gone before she can say anything. Sooyoung tosses the phone onto a plush chair, flopping down onto her cousin’s bed. She screams into the blanket. This marks the third time she has postponed the restaurant outing with him. Neither time before was intentional. The first time, Gwen came down with the stomach flu while her parents were off doing a black-market bypass surgery in Indonesia, so there was no one else but Sooyoung to take care of her. When Sicheng heard, he offered to bring soup and stay to help, but Gwen said she would rather die than let that boy see her with sweat matting her long black waves to her forehead and laugh at her with his dyed hair and evil eyes. 

     They don’t get along well. Obviously. Anyway, the excuse Gwen used to keep Sooyoung in the clear this time was the same as last time. Except she was the one who dumped her terrible boyfriend. That didn’t stop her from sobbing into Sooyoung’s shoulder all night, though. 

     Now, the third time around, Gwen’s not-so-ex-boyfriend cut ties with her again. Trouble and bad consequences are stray dogs she shouldn’t have fed. They follow her everywhere. Sooyoung was honestly not completely sure what was happening between Gwen and Yuta. She dumped him, but then he showed up at her apartment in sobs and begged for one more chance. She agreed, of course. Gwen’s parents reached out to Sooyoung immediately, urging her to convince their reckless daughter to leave that troublesome Neo boy once and for all. So, Yuta ended things with her again, apparently. She isn’t sure how Gwen and Yuta can even keep up. 

     It’s also Wednesday, which means that Sooyoung cannot go to her apartment. Sicheng knows everything about her, but not this. “No wonder he hates me,” says Gwen wistfully. “I’d hate me to if I were him. Me and my relationship problems are such a cock-blocker.” 

     “He was really upset.” Sooyoung sighs. “I feel bad.”

     “Of course he’s upset. The love of his life keeps ditching him for her rash cousin. And Sicheng has to spend his week being told he’s a coward for not killing more people.” 

     “I wish you wouldn’t make a joke out of his feelings. It’s really not fair,” replies Sooyoung. “I’m not what most people would call , ‘emotionally available.’”

     Gwen snaps her fingers. “But you should be, because we both know that Johnny left to go all Neo City. He’s not coming back, sweetie. I love you, but it’s the truth.” 

     “We don’t know if that’s what happened,” she says weakly, because she knows that is exactly what happened. 

     “You need to let him go.” Gwen puts a gentle hand on Sooyoung’s shaking shoulder. “The way Sicheng has. Johnny’s ignoring the most wonderful girl he’ll ever know and ditching the most annoying best friend he ever had. I’ll tell you what’s going on: Johnny Suh is an asshole.”

     While she makes self-destructive choices in her own personal life, she is extremely gifted at advising others. Right now, Sooyoung is being reprobated by the offender. “You’re one to talk about letting go.”

     Gwen drops her brown hand, returning it to her side as her expression goes cold. “At least I’m not delusional.” She’s staring hard at her cousin, black eyes afire. “I’m trying to help, but you wanna deflect everything to me.” 

     “Maybe someone should!” Sooyoung, who never yells, is screaming at the top of her lungs. “All you do is tell me to get over Johnny, but you’re still sleeping with Yuta!” 

     “If you don’t truly let him go soon,” says Gwen slowly, “I fear how much he will hurt you, in the end. Look what he’s done to you already. I can’t even blame him for this anymore; it’s just you.”

     The way she stays so collected after being insulted makes Sooyoung want to scream even louder. Does nothing bother you? That’s what she wishes she could yell, but suddenly she feels afraid that she won’t be able to control whatever comes out of her mouth if it opens again. She’s taken aback by herself. Before she can think once about it, Sooyoung is spinning on her heels and running out of the apartment. 

     Once she is gone, Gwendolyn stands in the middle of her bedroom for a long time without moving an inch. She’s stunned, frankly. That didn’t seem like Sooyoung at all. If anything, the person she who just screamed at her reminds her of Hyeyoung. And, for god’s sake, that is not a good thing. A buzzing sound yanks her out of her thoughts, sending her over to the nightstand. Her eyes take over her face. It’s Hyeyoung who’s calling her, which only has one explanation: somebody died. 

     “What happened?”

     But Gwen isn’t the one who asks, which worries her more, for some reason. She’s already looking for shoes. “What are you talking about?”

     “She’s not homeless, is she?” Hyeyoung inquires manically. “No way, because you’d let her stay with you. So what’s going on?” 

     Having secured a pair of combat boots, Gwen is tearing through her messy walk-in in search of her favorite leather coat. “That’s a great question. Here’s another one: why the hell did you call me?” 

     “I miss you, too, cousin.” 

     Gwen’s heading for the door now. “Answer the question.”

     “Sooyoung passed out in the middle of the street.” There’s accusation in her voice that Gwen doesn’t like one bit. “It looked like she was having a hard night and I’m betting you know why.” 

     “Where did you take her?” asks a jogging Gwen. “. . . Unless you left her there.” 

     “Of course I didn’t!” cries Hyeyoung. “I brought her home, obviously.”

     As she is about to reach a taxi, she cannot resist. “You mean your parents’ house?” 

     “Where else? That’s Sooyoung’s home! You need to watch out before—”

     With a carefree laugh, Gwen says, “Don’t threaten me, darling.” 

     She hangs up before Hyeyoung can scream into the phone like a death-metal vocalist. Someone is calling her name behind her; she spins. “Sicheng?” 

     He stops running once he’s caught up to her. “I need to talk to Sooyoung.”

     The taxi has already been taken by another passenger and it speeds by. Gwen’s heading toward another with him on her tail. “She’s not here.” 

     “Was she lying earlier?” he asks, his nose wrinkling in confusion. “But I heard your voice on the phone.” 

     And he trusts Sooyoung, but Sicheng doesn’t need to speak for either of them to know that. “We got into a fight and she left.”     

     “Is she at her apartment? I really need to see her.”

     Gwen is unphased by his urgency, since she matches it. “She’s at my aunt and uncle’s. Apparently she fainted in the street. I’m going to see her right now; this is all my fault.” 

     Sicheng, who does not commonly pass up a free opportunity to make a jab at the contentious girl, only asks: “Can I come with you?” 

     Opening the backseat of a taxi, Gwen shrugs. “I can’t stop you.” She scoots over to make room for him. After a few minutes, she clears her throat. “I need you to promise me something, though.” 

     Sicheng nods for her to continue.

     “As soon as we know she’s okay, you have to help me get her out of there. Hopefully before she wakes up; Sooyoung is gonna freak the fuck out if she sees her family. I don’t know how much she’s told you about what happened—”

     “Sooyoung didn’t tell me anything about why she left.”

     “Trust me on this,” Gwen pleads. “The faster she’s out, the better.”

     “Okay,” he declares, meeting her eyes. “I’ll help you.” 

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[m1lkt3e]

Idk what to title this as but it’s a WIP for an upcoming fic.

TW for mentions of death and guns

...

Trapped in this...Prison, if you like to call it. But at least I have Soda, my brother on my side. I’m 15 now. Wow...It’s been three years already, three years since *it* happened. I remember it as if it happened yesterday...When I was 12…. ~~~ “Let’s give it E̶̢͕̞̫̞̰̝͙̙͝v̵̻̌ě̶̛̛̘̪̌͑͑͠ȓ̵̲͖͇̙̫̣͙̌̇ͅy̷̛̙̝̻͑̔̓͐̕̚͝͠t̴̩̃̆͊ḩ̸̛̟͈͔͖́̌̆ͅĩ̷͓̑͌̂ň̷̡̻̻̟͔͑̈́̋̅̕͝ĝ̵̛̭̯́̃̒͊̾̑̈̌ we g̷̛͙̞͖͇͋̉̉͂̐̍̒̚ͅǫ̶̥̮̂̑̾̈̄̅͘ẗ̶̖̩̝!̴̘̮̰͙̺̙̫͇̥̃̏͑͂̎̕͘͘ ̴͔̳͑̍͛͒͐̿͆̈́̚Ị̶̣̥͎͖̋ͅt̶̫͈͆͋̿͊̈́̀̽͗͝'̶̧̢͓̦͛̑̀̿ͅs̷̯̥̱̱̲̖̮̯͋̉̑̍̽͗̈́͜͝͠ͅ.̷͇̲̰̻̪̰͆̒͋͘.̴̗̙͐͑̃̔̇͝͝.̶̧̻̘͔̻̺̮͊͒̑̿͊̌͐̉̀͝ ₱Ʉ₦ł₴Ⱨ₥Ɇ₦₮ ₮ł₥Ɇ!!”

Their voice just sounded so...Glitchy, it wasn’t normal either...I vividly remember Yogurt sobbing. Just letting it all out. When they all just let down the gravel...It was over. It was fucking over. The masterminds are dead...We’re free...WE’RE FREE!

The excitement didn’t last long. ~~~ It isn’t *too* bad once you get around it, it’s mostly children around babies to legal adults, like Soda, I’ve haven seen any adults lately...Well except Soda of course.

“Do you feel...Bored?”

“No, why?”

“I don’t know,” I agitated the spoon around the mug in boredom. “It gets a little repetitive, y’know, three meals a day, sleep, then it happens all over again.”

“...Do you just want to escape?”

He was silent.

I found myself silent as well.

“What happened to everyone else?”

“...”

“...I heard that the third game fell into despair and now is destroying the world...Out of all people, why save us?” “Probably because it was their last hope.”

“But...If one god sacrificed themselves and they’re trying to restore hum—cookie life, why aren’t they doing enough?!”

“...”

“...”

Oh. Someone knocked.

I was still short, (Or, to be real, grew 2 inches.) so I still have to use extra support, but it wasn’t as necessary.

“Hello..?”

No response.

“Hello…???”

Ugh.

“Must be some prank.”

“Maybe.”

“Wait.”

I grabbed Soda’s wrist and glanced outside. Streets destroyed, remains littered, just...Ugh.

“Pe—”

“We need to leave.”

“Wait wha—”

“We need to leave, NOW. We’re all going to die here!”

I tugged on him, banging on the door to let us out.

“Let us out!! We’ll die here!”

It was no use.

We'll never escape.

I breathed heavily as I slid down the door, crying. I didn’t want to die here.

“Peppermint…”

“It’s no use..! We’ll be here forever! And—and…!”

“Peppermint.”

“H-huh?”

“You never gave in to despair right?”

“No..Why are you bringing that?”

“You’re 15. 15. You’re still here.”

“I guess you’re right..”

“Good.”

A clank was heard, then something opened.

“The door…!”

I got up, but Soda didn’t move.

“Why are you still standing there?! C’mon! Freedom’s right there!”

“Wait—Pepperm—”

“Well?!”

He sighed as he followed his sib.

——

“We’re out of there….Finally!”

“Do you not realize what DANGER could be out here?!”

“We can find an escape, and we can talk about it from there…but for now...

...Where are we?”

“...”

“I don’t know either, but we can walk around, I mean this place’s deserted anyways.”

We both started to walk, however, I was walking a little slower because I was still a bit out of breath.

“Where do we even look anyways?”

“We can just look around, of course being careful.”

“Ok..” —— “Wait—You never mentioned something.”

“What?”

“Those old wanted pictures...Who are they?”

“Oh them? They’re just the ‘high class’ except its a huge cult that every 4 years of so they all commit a huge massacre that basically kills the entire cookie species unless she makes a new batch, then they all commit suicide after. However, they all faked their deaths and now they’re fucking stuff up.”

“Are—are there any other survivors other than us?!”

“Not sure…”

“Let’s just keep walking.”

It took forever, but we found *some* way to escape.

“All the way over there..?! Shit—I don’t think my conch shell can do anything. Wait— Soda, do you still have your surfboard?!”

“Yeah—”

“Then c’mon! This is the only way of our escape!”

“You’re not thinking this th—”

“I am. Why do you think I’m going through this in the first place anyway?! Clearly the people that we call gods aren’t DOING ENOUGH. WHY SIT HERE AND LET THE WORLD GO TO WASTE WHEN WE SAVE IT WHILE WE STILL CAN?!”

“...”

“You can go your own way. I’ll go on my own.”

He didn’t bother questioning it, he went one way, I went another. —— I keep thinking,

‘How can I even—I can’t fight them all alone. Hell, I don’t even have any weapons to begin with! There’s at least 5 of them, and I’m pretty sure that one of them doesn’t even want to be there!

Are they even that powerful anyway? What the hell am I thinking?! Two of the members are the children of Dark Enchantress...No wonder why about 90% of the world is destroyed.

And where are all my classmates anyway?! I mean I get Squid Ink and Walnut because they’re still in the tower...Or at least one of them is. But where the hell is everyone else?! Mostly Yogurt Cream thought. Wait—why am I even worried about him?! He’s a spoiled whiny brat that doesn’t get far in life!

I’m pretty sure that everyone’s dead, because of them. No no, not the cult members, the ones from the third game, they got brainwashed or something on the lines.

Speaking of the brainwashed, they pretty much destroyed everything. Why wo—SHIT—Oh, nevermind. It’s just a rotting corpse.’

Ugh.

Wait—Is that one of the members? It’s kind of hard to tell…

I hid behind a destroyed part of a random building

“Is that the last of them?”

“Maybe.”

“I think I saw another one down the street, but it might be my imagination…”

“Hm alright.”

“Leader’s going to be proud of this…”

Good. They left.

I stood up, peeked over one last time, then ran across the street to a random building.

I breathed heavily as I felt like someone was behind me…

I’m fine…

Yeah. I’m fine.

They can’t kill me because I’m a child.

Even though I’m 15…

That counts as a child, right?

Someone, please tell me that counts as a child...Right…? Right..? Right?

Right?

——

The red lights dimmed for a second before turning up its brightness, blinding the cookie that was inside for a bit.

He blinked. He was pretty used to it by now.

The room was just red, he was just muttering to himself, a red room, like Satan's hellhole.

The only thing that he could really see was red.

It was just an all-white room with some type of lights that could change color with a remote.

Is this it?

Is this the hellhole he’ll be stuck in?

There is no escape to this anyways.

The lights turned up its brightness again, making him curl up and tried to prevent the lights from blinding him.

The lights stayed like that until it toned down. Not after shutting off after.

Well, the darkness is better than this.

But it wasn’t.

It keeps coming back.

It could grab him by the shoulders and he won’t know it.

He grabbed a hold of his lilac-colored hair with both hands and pulled on it. He couldn’t tell if he was crying or it was just sweat because of how humid the room was. He tugged on it for a bit longer before letting go.

Why was he even here in the first place?

He didn’t know.

It seemed like forever.

…. He forgot where he was at this point.

It just felt like a never-ending nightmare.

“Hey.”

He looked up. The door was open, a bright light blinded his eyes.

“Sorry. The lights stopped working, but that doesn’t mean that we’ll set you free.”

“...”

“Just enjoy the light for a bit while we fix it.”

This could be his chance!

Even though his legs are probably jello at this point, he still stood up and ran. He didn’t bother turning back. Even though he forgot the way the threw him in (Because he either forgot or he’s just stupid)

It was pointless running, but when he finally found the exit, he pushed it—well, not really because he lost all his strength.

He sighed, but he had to go. He can’t be here any longer.

… It was a rather large city, but almost no one was in sight, only drug dealers and loners walking down the street.

He slowed down his pace, by now he was far from the INC. by now.

He stopped walking to put up his hair, then sped walked after.

Zero coins in his pocket.

Fucking excellent.

It was dawn, he felt like someone was following him.

He ran.

He didn’t look back.

Well, he did,

But just to find no one there.

He sighed and kept speed walking.

…

He found a small bench, normally he would REFUSE to associate with anything that’s “below his standards” but this was an exception.

It was the only choice he had.'

He still missed lilac, hell, even Pomegranate. Y’know, the one who basically ruined his life. He just sat there, Just spacing off.

He took off his uniform jacket and tied it around his waist.

He was talking to himself, thinking about how everything Just went...Wrong.

——

Huh?

Is this another town…? And it isn’t destroyed?

Who’s that…?

“Hey!”

The cookie flinched, pretty sure they’re shaking, Wait—have I’ve seen this cookie before...They look familiar…

“Hey...It’s ok! I’m not one of them!”

“T-them?!”

“Um yeah!—The cult leaders? You know them??”

“H-how the hell are you just gonna walk up to a random person and ask them if they know that—that CULT?!”

“Ok ok sorry…But you still look familiar..Have I seen you somewhere before?!”

“Huh?”

“The killing games...Remember…? The project, you uhm...Didn’t wake up aft—”

“D-don’t remind me…”

“S-sorry.”

“Why are you so apologetic f—”

“Wait.”

“...”

“What happened to you..??”

“O-oh that...Uhm wh-where do I even fucking explain?! The entire ‘coma incident’, THAT, and I was kidnapped by some weird cookies that said that I’m ‘Associated with the cult leader.’”

“Hold on, ‘associated with the cult leader’?!”

“Yeah why?? Are you o-one of them too?!”

“W-what?! No! I’m from that building that keeps kids in to prevent further extinction of the cookie species until she makes another batch…”

“Oh.”

“...To prevent what happened years ago…”

“...”

“How come you aren’t dead, like the rest of them..?”

“I escaped.”

“Huh? Escape what?”

“I didn’t get kidnapped from them, but by some foundation that I don’t know the name of…But I would’ve killed myself if I stayed there...”

Oh.

“I still haven’t gotten—Wait, I think I remembered now...Yogurt Cream right?”

“Yeah—Wait, how did you get my name NOW?!”

“It’s been three years, of COURSE I’ll forget.”

“Fair…”

“How—how long had you been there..?”

He took a second to respond, looked like he was about to break down.

“Yogurt….How long have you been there…? When did they—they ‘kidnap’ you…?”

“Literally after a month, after all that happened—”

He broke down.

“W-why..out of everyone, they choose me…”

He looked up to me.

“Why couldn’t they have taken YOU?!”

“ME?!”

“You were associated with the cult leader the most..how aren’t you...you—”

“I WAS STILL A CHILD! I DIDN’T REALIZE WHAT THE HELL THEY WERE GOING TO DO AFTER! YOU CAN’T BLAME ME FOR THIS!”

“...”

“...”

“What did..what did they do?”

“N-nothing really. Just put me in this room and just kept me there for so..long.”

“Well..You’re out now...And god knows if they’re still following you.”

“...”

“Oh, and by any chance do you know this place?”

“No—No of course not. This was just a town that I randomly went to. W-what makes you think that I know where this place is?!”

“Ah, your stupidity is still there. Great.”

“H-hey! I’m not dumb!”

“Ok...You know what a vote is?”

“A..Vote...You still trade those with bear jellies…??”

“You’re hopeless.”

“D-don’t blame me! Blame those idiots that kept me in that prison for god knows how long!”

“That’s fair.”

“WAIT.”

“What now?!”

“We don’t have anything to defend ourselves…”

“Oh.”

“Where do we look..?”

——

Cult.

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Something that summons stuff? Imprisonment? Daily Russian Roulette that leaves poor innocent cookies dropping down dead? Anything?

You may think of a huge number of people, but this cult isn’t the case.

You see, this marks the third year, and usually, the cult doesn’t do the massacre until another year later. However, the Cult Leader, [redacted] was too impatient a full of despair to wait another year to start the massacre, so their twin sister, [redacted] ordered her to keep all the child cookies in a building, originally it was going to be underground, but due to no time and the leader running out of ideas, they choose a 60-floor building to keep them all in.

Oh, and for your information, the cult only has 5 members.

“Russian Roulette anyone?” the leader asked the other 4.

“No.”

“No thanks.”

“This is the third time [redacted], it’s getting boring.”

“Anything that leader wishes!” [redacted] sprouted up.

“Seriously [redacted]?!”

“You’re insane.”

“[redacted], dear, aren’t you bored of Russian roulette…?”

[redacted] leaned closer to her peers, then said in a low toned voice—

“I’ll do anything that [redacted] wishes. It’s our job to have their wishes granted. If they want to start the massacre early, let it be it. If they want to kill the children, we’ll kill the children.”

“I-I’m pretty sure that they don’t want to kill the children, [redacted]!”

“Yeah, he’s right [redacted]. There’s no point in killing the children if we just die altogether and no one’s on this terrible...thing of earth.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Since that’s out the way,” [redacted] slid the gun down the table, perfectly stopping in the middle of it. “Russian Roulette?”

“[redacted] for the 2nd time, no.”

“Ugh fine.”

“Guuuyyys if [redacted] wants to do Russian roulette then we should!!”

“[redacted], were not doing Russian Roulette for the third time this week alone!”

“You’re all boring, I swear.” [redacted] twirled the gun with their fingers and slid it across the room for some odd reason rather than placing it back in its case.

“Why are you so extra for it? All we said was that we didn’t want to play Russian Roulette for the third time this week alone.”

“Got any other suggestions then?!”

“We can ki—”

“[redacted] I swear to fucking god if you say ‘kill the children!1!’ I will unleash my almost whole-life pent up anger.”

“Ok ok sorry.”

“Fine fine, we’ll do it [redacted]. But this is the last time we’re doing it this week, ok?!”

“Oh good.” —— They were all sitting in a circle, with the gun in the middle of it. It was rather dimmed, but they all didn’t care.

Of course, the first to go was the cult ruler.

They pulled the trigger.

Click.

Nothing.

They sighed as they passed the gun to their twin sister. She pulled the trigger.

Click.

Nothing again.

This went on until the 4th round.

[redacted] pulled the trigger again.

Click.

“Again…?” At this point they were getting bored, it’s been 3 rounds and no one died yet.

Their older twin gave a low chuckle as they held the gun to her head and pulled.

Click.

“Hm.”

She passed the gun to the youngest of them, he did the same that [redacted] did and pulled.

Nothing.

He seemed to be relieved by that . His lover was next. She pulled the trigger. Another lick was made. The repeated clicking made [redacted] annoyed. There’s more clicking than shooting!

Finally, the last member of the cult went. She pulled the trigger.

BANG.

“...”

“There goes, Alchemist.”

“So you’re not going to do anything about it?! One of your members just died! From Russian Roulette!!”

“It’s despair fueling.”

——

“Where are we going first..?”

“How should I know? We should be a least far from...there..”

“There?”

“...I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s fair...I wouldn’t give advice anyways.”

“Wait wha—?!”

“Nothing.”

“W-whatever...”

“Hey...Since we’re on the topic of the Cu—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Ah...S-sorry.” ——

“So what do we do with the body since this was [redacted]’s idea…?”

“Since my sibling isn’t here...I’ll put up a memorial for her…. She was close to them. When they said that ‘it’s despair fueling’, it isn’t ‘despair fueling’. They’re upset.”

“Wait, they’re upset?!”

“Yeah..? if they weren’t almost all of us would be dead by now.”

“Y-yeah, you’re right [redacted]...”

“Hm.”

“I’ll go talk to them. They open up to me more than most of you here.” [redacted] walked out the door, stepping over Alchemist's body.

[redacted] followed her, also stepping over the body.

~~~

“[redacted]?”

“...”

“Can we talk? It's important.”

“...”

“[redacted]?” She sat next, but kind of far from them, “Are you ok?”

“...” Nothing. “...Yeah.”

“Really…? Your tone says otherwise.”

“Mmhm.”

“Please actually talk to me.”

“I’m fine.” They turned to her. They open up more with their sister than anyone.

“Stop lying.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re being stubborn. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“...”

“Mom was right. I should’ve sent you instead of him. It’s a shame that I was your twin anyways.”

They walked out immediately after. [redacted] sighed and closed their door.

[redacted] laid down and hugged onto a pillow, nearly crying too.

——

“Where—where are we..?” I asked him, he seemed shaken up a bit but I didn’t realize.

He didn’t respond.

“...”

“Are...You ok..?”

“...Yeah.”

“Hm...M’kay.”

“Wait...Do you recognize this building..?”

“Wait... what..?”

“That one.” I pointed to a 50-story building. “Do you...Recognize it?”

“N-no...I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“You sure..?”

“...Yes.”

“...Ok—hold on... Who’s that..?”

“...fuck.”

I turned to him, “What was that..?”

“Nothing. You heard nothing.”

“...Doesn’t that look like someone...Clearing a...Dead bod—”

“WILL YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT NOW?!”

I jumped, “Ok ok! No need to get aggressive…”

“Oh...Look who it is...My dear brother.”

“...”

“Hmm? You know this person?”

“...Unfortunately.”

“I believe we never met..Peppermint is it?”

“Huh? How’d you know my name?”

“My twin knows all about you..the traitor right?”

“Traitor..?”

“Yes…”

“Wait...I don’t know your name...So how can I trust you..?”

“Oh right...My apologies...My name is Pomegranate.”

“You already know my name so...I have a question…”

“Hm?”

“You know Yogurt? You called him brother earlier…So are you two related in any way?”

“Don’t bring—”

“Oh yes...Him and [redacted] are related to me...However, something happened between our childhood and I somewhat remained.”

“How’d you...remained? Were you the favorite child or something?”

“Possibly so…”

“Please stop talking about it…” Yogurt muttered under his breath, but neither of us heard him.

“Are there other people inside?”

“Yeah...If you were looking for the cult after all..”

“Wait...The cult?!”

“Yes. If that’s what you’re looking fo—”

“Yes. That was exactly what I was looking for.” I lied.

-Random time skip-

Pomegranate followed both of them into floor 49. It was pretty high up, as you can tell, you’ll get a great view of the destroyed city with dead bodies and blood everywhere.

“The leader is...Somewhere. They’re just upset.”

“Fair.”

“I don’t think you’ve heard of the others yet…” Pomegranate lowered her voice.

“Are they here?”

“Hold on. Stay here with my brother...ok?” I nodded as she walked off to a separate room.

“Why does she call you your—Hey…! Where’re you going?!”

He didn’t answer as he walked back to the elevator.

I sighed…

Pomegranate came back with two other cookies, who I’ve seen before...But I forgot their names. Definitely seen them before…

“Wait…Isn’t this the kid that the leader wants us to kill?” One of them asked.

“Wait what?! For what?!” I stepped back.

“Well get to that later, anyway, these two idiots members are Mint Choco and Cocoa.”

“Wait, what about that part that one of them said?! That the leader wants to kill me?!”

“Oh, [redacted]. You’re just in time...We were just giving introductions too…”

“...”

Seems like they’re not in the mood.

“Well, Uhm....This is my younger twin...Lilac aka the cult...leader.” it was awkward for a bit until they spoke.

“I could’ve done it but..thanks.”

They didn’t seem too grateful about it. About the time Yogurt came back, he wished that he would’ve just stayed there . “I-I thought you D-DIED—?!?!”

“Died..? You already forgot that those two games were simulators correct?”

“I—”

“Besides,” They sat at a near table, “how’d you escape..?!”

“W-why the fuck should I tell you?! You’re the last person I trust—!”

“I’ll just go…” I stepped back a bit, trying not to alarm the Cult.

“Where’re you going..?!” one of them grabbed me by the arm.

“Hey. We still need you for our family business~!” The leader said clapping their hands together.

“What?”

“What ‘business’...?”

“I know for a fact that there isn’t any ‘family business’.”

“Huh?! What are you talking about?! What family business?!”

“What? You don’t know what I’m talking about?!”

“No. What are you talking about Lilac?!”

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Protect My Heart: Part 14

Fandom: Marvel (Bodyguard AU)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You’re an actress and after an assassination attempt on your life, your manager hires a bodyguard that will be with you 24/7.

A/N: For @buckthegrump ‘s writing challenge.

“We got ‘em!” Nat exclaimed in your living room, Bucky down the hall in the bathroom. She wasn’t very loud, afraid that Bucky would be able to hear her, but loud enough for Hope and Sam to hear from the kitchen. 

The two make their way to Nat, looking over her shoulder to see a text from Tony:

Tony: Rhodey caught sight of them. Located at a safe house in Monterey. Make sure Barnes doesn’t catch wind of this. 

“Monterey,” snorted Hope, “Surprised they didn’t go out of state.”

“Which is good for us,” Nat stated.

Sam nodded, “These guys thought they finished the job, so they’re not travelling far. Use one of Stark’s jets and we’ll be there in no time.”

As the three of them discussed, their game plan, Bucky was quickly texting a consultant of Tony’s. The team might’ve been quiet, but Bucky has exceptional hearing. 

Bucky: I need you to hack into Nat’s phone.

Vision: Does Ms. Romanoff know you want to hack into her phone?

Bucky: I wouldn’t be contacting you if she knew, Vis. They’re hiding important information from me and I need to know ASAP. Send me all of her messages that she’s received within the last thirty minutes.

Vision: Very well, but I expect payment.

Bucky: Is Wanda’s phone number sufficient enough?

Vision: Yes.

Bucky let out a breath of relief and proceeded to message Vision additional instructions. He then ran his hands through his hair and let out a deep breath. This was it. He was finally going to get the guys that hurt him and you. You’re going to be avenged. 

He stepped out of the bathroom, feigning innocence. His brows furrowed in confusion when he saw his three teammates heading for the door, “What’s going on?”

“Tony wants to talk to us. We’ll just be going over more strategies how to catch Rawlins and Pierce,” Hope said confidently, her face appearing plain and neutral. 

Bucky’s shoulders sagged, “Oh, uh, okay.”

“You’ll be okay, right?” Sam asked, he was always one to be concerned for Bucky, despite their constant bickering. 

He nodded, “Yeah. I’ll just be watching Netflix or something. Keep me updated.” he watched as they all gave him a nod and proceeded to walk out your door. As soon as he was sure that they were a good distance away, he bolted to his room, dressing in his gear. It was go time. 

_______________________

After receiving a stream of Nat’s incoming texts, Bucky was off driving towards Monterey. He’s so grateful that he decided to bring a bike with him. As he’s racing his way against his team, his mind goes back to when he showed you his bike. 

“Wow. That’s a very beautiful bike, Bucky.” you whistled, overlooking the motorcycle. 

He straddled the seat, “Yeah, she is. Want a ride?”

You snort, “Hell no! Motorcycle accidents are more prevalent than car accidents.”

Bucky chuckled, “Come on, sweetheart. I promised I’d protect ya, so that means you’ll be safe with me on the bike.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and shook your head, “Not gonna happen, Barnes.”

He licked his lips and shook his head, “You’re such a scaredy cat.”

“You know what, I am and I’m not afraid to say it! So you go ahead and have a nice ride on your death trap while I stay here alive and well!”

Bucky revs his engine and continues his way to Monterey. According to his GPS, it’ll take about two hours to get there, but with the way he’s speeding, he’s oping to drop it down to one hour. 

_______________________

In the jet on their way to Monterey, Hope, Nat, and Sam are mentally preparing themselves on bringing these guys in. Sam in leaning over, elbows resting on his knees as he stares down at his shoes. You and he became good friends during the time him and the team has been protecting you. You two would laugh and joke around. It was nice and, a lot of times, it didn’t feel like you were a client to him. Just a friend. A friend that has a target on her back for years and it cost you your life. But they’re going to make it right. For you and for Bucky. He just wanted his friends to be alive and happy. 

Nat was overlooking a computer. Hope looked over and asked, “What’re you looking at?”

“Just making sure Barnes is exactly where we left him.” a blinking red dot titled Barnes, is found on the screen on a map that looks like the layout of your house. 

“And is he?”

“Yup, still in the living room.” she closes the computer, satisfied with her discovery. 

Hope leaned back, blankly staring across the walkway, “Don’t you feel guilty for lying to him? He should be here.”

“Yes, but he’s a liability. He’ll let his emotions get the best of him and it’ll completely ruin everything. Barnes is a friend, but if he didn’t get so involved with Y/N, this would’ve never happened.” Nat says with a pointed look. What she said is harsh, yet but true. Emotions tend to mess things up, that’s why they try not to get familiar with clients or anyone in their line of work, really. But you made it hard. You weren’t some corrupt politician or snot nosed rich kid. You were just a young woman who got caught up in dirty business, dirty business that ended up following you throughout your life. 

But once they get to Monterey, you’ll be able to have your freedom back.

____________________________

Bucky made it to Monterey in an hour and a half. Not the time he wanted, but still enough before his team arrives. As soon as he rolls up to the gated house, yeah, not a very subtle safe house, he gunned down the security guards in an instant. This was no time to pick and choose. They all worked for Rawlins and Pierce, therefore, they were all bad. 

Bucky sped down the gravel path, glock in hand, and shooting at any guard that came spilling out of the front door. As soon as they took a step out of the door, they dropped like pennies. 

He hopped off his bike and stalked into the home, pulling out the rifle he hid beneath his black leather jacket. Helmet still placed on his head, he continued his way through the house, shooting at anyone in sight. No time for mercy. This is what they get for killing you. 

Upstairs in an office, Rumlow begins to shove any furniture in front of the door to ensure that whoever was attacking them, couldn’t get through. Pierce and Rawlins watch from the security footage displayed on the computer. How is it that one man could easily take down dozens of theirs. 

The longer they continued to watch, the closer the gunshots grew. 

“WHERE ARE THEY?!” a booming voice shouts, followed by more shots. 

Soon enough, there were footsteps by the door and aggressive jiggling of the handle, “YOU CAN’T FUCKING HIDE, YOU BASTARDS! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE! YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA DIE FOR IT!” Pierce, Rawlins, and Rumlow felt the blood drain from their face. They thought he died when they killed you. Looks like they were wrong and suddenly, they regret not shooting Bucky in the head.

_______________________

In the safety of your own safe house, you, Tony, and Steve watch from the body cams on Nat, Sam, and Hope as descend down the steps of the jet. 

“What the-” you hear Sam say as he races to the gates, looking down at three bodies. He checks each of their pulse, “They’re gone.”

“Who the fuck-” they hear gunshots and for a moment, everyone ducks. They all unholster their guns and start heading towards the house. More bodies. 

You look away, not enjoying the sight of so many dead men on the ground. You can’t handle it. 

“Holy shit,” you hear Hope curse. You peak and see more bodies. 

“How did someone make it before-”

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE! YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA DIE FOR IT!” you hear faintly from the cams. 

“Is that Barnes?!” Hope cried out.

Nat shook her head, “No. It can’t be. His tracker showed that he was back at the house.” she looked up the stairs, gun still in the air, “I’m gonna go up. Search the floor for any other hostiles.” 

“Be careful, Nat,” Hope said with a nod before she continued down a hall, her gun up and on high alert. 

She followed the sounds of more gunshots and crashing sounds. She turned a corner just in time to see a figure dressed in black and a helmet covering their head. She quickly and cautiously followed pursuit. When she neared the door, she heard Rumlow speak.

“Listen, Barnes-” she heard a bang and a thud on the floor.

“You don’t have to do this, Barnes,” Pierce spoke up. 

“You didn’t have to kill Y/N. I only think it’s fair that I return the favor.”

“Killing us won’t bring her back,” Rawlins said. 

Bucky scoffed, “No, but it’ll damn sure gimme a peace of mind.”

That’s when Nat made herself known. She stepped into the doorway, gun up and pointing at Bucky’s back. He was no longer wearing the helmet, the item tossed to the side next to Rumlow’s now dead body.

“Don’t do it, Bucky. You’ve already done enough. Y/N-”

“Don’t you fucking dare tell me what Y/N would’ve wanted, Romanoff!”  Bucky snapped at Nat and, honestly, she’s never seen him so unhinged like this before. But then again, she’s never seen him so wrapped up in a person like he was with you. 

Your hands are covering your mouth as you continue to watch the footage. Your eyes tearing up because you’re hurting for Bucky. You see now how much your supposed death has taken a toll on him and you feel so guilty for being a part of it. 

“Bucky, come on. Just lower your gun and we’ll take it from here. No one else has to die today.” 

“They killed her, Nat.”

“No, they didn’t. Y/N is alive.”

You see from Nat’s cam that his hold on his gun falters, “W-What?”

“Y/N is alive. We faked her death to catch these guys. She’s alive and well and watching you right now from my body cam.”

Bucky’s shoulders fall for a moment and then tense up. “You all lied to me.”

“We had to. You were too much of a liability.”

You heard him scoff, “Didn’t really help much.”

“Regardless, put the gun down. I don’t want to hurt you more than you already are.” Everyone in the room and everyone at the safe house waited in silence, anxious to see what Bucky would do next. A part of you wanted to see him kill the men that ruined your life, but also, a part of you didn’t. 

You then hear two gunshots and two bodies fall to the ground with a thud.

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