#really happy u read it but at the same time ur seeing baring my soul naked and seeing my full unhinge cringe self

[ponuchuu]

im extremely flattered but at the same time why (/pos)

[inkykeiji]

after reading some of ur responses to anons, i reread bmb with a better picture in my head of tomura and dabi's relationship, past, how they really are *that* close. Now I kinda look at bmb differently (in a good way). is tomura ever jealous of reader getting dabi’s attention? and dabi of reader bc she gets all tomuras time? I think weve all been in positions where our friends are dating and we miss spending time them but its not to the extreme level of tomura and dabis obsessive/toxic mentality

aaaah anon this makes me SO happy to hear!!!

PS. read to the end for a tiny snippet of my bmb sequel christmas series!!

yes, it’s very subtle, and i wrote it that way on purpose. it’s quite iykyk, read between the lines, subtext type stuff, because dabi himself doesn’t even know what he’s feeling—he can barely make sense of his new, unfamiliar feelings for reader, and buried way beneath those are his feelings for tomura, which are subtle, yes, and nothing in comparison to his feelings for reader, but are there and exist nonetheless.

these feelings of jealousy are so light and so deeply submerged in his subconscious that he doesn’t even know they’re there festering in his soul; that he can’t even separate them from feelings of jealousy related to reader. it’s all so entwined that it blurs and blends into the same thing. he’s jealous of tomura for having reader, he’s jealous of reader for taking tomura’s attention away from him, he’s jealous of the connection and relationship they have, etc.

dabi’s complicated feelings for tomura, as well as how close they truly are and just how much dabi actually cares about him, become a little more obvious in parts four and five, when dabi becomes a little more protective over tomura, a little more careful and compassionate towards him. he speaks to him more gently, his actions are softer, and, as part five demonstrates, he truly does know how to handle tomura better than anyone else in the world.

ah! okay, so your questions of if tomu gets jealous of dabi + reader and if dabi gets jealous of tomu + reader are both answered and explored in depth in my sequel series (aka the christmas series) but to answer quickly, it’s a yes to both! my sequel christmas series explores all of the nuances in this new relationship + trio dynamic, and it demonstrates how each of the three of them are adjusting and dealing with this very new, very big change; the struggles they’re individually going through and the issues they’re facing.

with that being said, here is the tiniest lil snippet from part three of my bmb christmas series and sequel to give u a taste of what’s to come <3 this is just my first draft so it may change slightly in the final version but the idea will obv stay the same <3

And although it’s all fun and great and whatever, although Dabi and Tomura have technically made up, Dabi can’t stop his gaze from straying to the two of you, desperate to sneak another peek. 

It’s the worst type of self torture, every smile you give Tomura, special and private and just for him, every giggle he elicits from you, sweet and beautiful and just for him driving another sharp stake further into Dabi’s heart, an ache that cements itself deep within his chest, dull and aching and caged by his ribs. 

The two of you are off in your own little world, it seems, despite the fact that this is, technically, a baking competition and there are five other people in the room. 

None of it seems to matter; none of it seems to register at all, every ounce of your glittering attention focused solely on your Daddy, who beams down at you with warm, soft, loving eyes. 

Dabi’s only gotten that look once or twice before, but you seem to get it all the time. 

He knows it’s unfair to compare himself to you, to compare his relationship with Tomura to yours, but he just can’t seem to help it. He measures them up against each other in every way, tallying up the positives and docking the negatives and seeing who’s in the lead, even though they’re playing completely different sports.

[fangirl-writes]

Pop Culture

Benny Weir x Reader

Request:  hey i hope ur doing well! would u be able to do a benny x fem!reader where she’s really popular and has a crush on him and isn’t shy about it. benny likes her a lot too but he’s scared that she’ll just end up leaving him for another popular kid. so she makes multiple public declarations as well as takes him on a string of extravagant dates to show him how much she truly likes him.

Warning(s): none. A lot of star wars references. Like. A LOT.

Notes: I am doing fine thank you! Sorry for taking so long with this one. This was cute. I got a little side tracked from the main request and just went all in with the star wars theme, I’m so sorry.

Y/N L/N was one of the most popular girls in school. That was undoubtable. She was a cheerleader, head of the prom committee, former homecoming queen, and her parents were one of the richest people in town.

But the fact that she had the biggest crush on Benny Weir, resident star wars lover, science wiz, and all around huge geek? Unbelievable.

Extremely unbelievable in Benny’s opinion, even if she had grown up in the house across the street from him.

And Y/N wasn’t shy about her crush on him. In fact, she was very unsubtle about it.

She left him hoards of candy in his locker, hung a bouquet of roses for valentine’s day, and stood on a cafeteria table to wish him the grandest of happy birthdays. 

“Benny!” She cooed as she walked down the hallway with some of her other friends, who were currently rolling their eyes so far into the back of their heads that the nerd squad thought they might get stuck.

“Oh, no,” Benny said, a blush spreading across his cheeks as she approached him, Ethan, and Rory, leaving her posse behind.

“Benny, I rented out the entire movie theater for a star wars marathon this weekend, if you’re free?” She asked.

Benny could barely concentrate on what she said because of how close she was. He could smell her sugary perfume and see the school fluorescents shining in her pretty (e/c) eyes.

He stumbled over his words for a minute before spitting out, “Can’t! Already got plans with Ethan, can’t back out, been planning it for months, years, a whole decade. Can’t miss it.”

“We have?”

Benny elbowed Ethan in the ribs.

“Oh. Right, those plans. Yeah.”

You frowned, looking disappointed. “Oh. Okay.”

Your smile returned for a minute. “Can we reschedule then? Is tonight good for you?”

“Ah, well, you know what-”

The screech of the school bell interrupted him and he looked relieved.

“Well, look at that, saved by the bell! Sorry, Y/N, gotta get to class.” He took off down the hallway. It was the fastest Ethan had ever seen Benny run.

You turned to Ethan, looking more devastated than ever. “He hates me, doesn’t he?”

“Who? Benny?” he replied. “No. No, he doesn’t hate you.”

“Then why does he keep giving me excuses? The old Benny would straight up turn me down...” You said, crossing your arms and staring at the floor.

Ethan put a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, Benny absolutely doesn’t hate you. He’s just...nervous, I guess.”

“Nervous?” You echoed. “About what?”

“Well, you’re really popular and he’s...well, he’s Benny. He’s just afraid that you’re gonna leave him for someone like David Stachowski.”

You pulled a face. “Hairy Dave? No thanks. He’s dog.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Ethan muttered.

“And you guys know I’m the same Y/N, right? Just because I run with a more popular crowd doesn’t mean I stopped liking nerdy things and stopped thinking about my nerdy friends.”

Ethan laughed. “It’s just a big change from how it used to be. You don’t have braces and a star wars backpack anymore.”

You returned the laugh, remembering how you used to be. “Well, I’ll just have to prove it to him. Will you help me?”

Ethan’s face contorted. “Ah, I don’t know...”

“Come on! Help me, Ethan Skywalker! You’re my only hope!”

Ethan sighed. You got him.

“Fine.”

“Yes!” You wrapped him in a hug. “Now let’s get to class!”

***

“Is everything ready?” You asked Ethan over the phone.

“Yeah, good on your end?” He replied.

“Yep. Movie theater is set. All up to you now.”

“On it.” He said before hanging up and shoving the phone in his pocket. He took a deep breath before bursting into Benny’s house and running up the stairs frantically.

“Benny!” Ethan shouted slamming his bedroom door open.

Benny let out a high pitched scream, falling from his desk chair onto the floor.

“They’ve got Y/N!”

“What?!” Benny bolted upright. “Who’s got Y/N?”

“A couple vampires out for revenge. They must have seen us talking at school the other day. They’ve got her trapped at the movie theater-”

“What are we waiting for?” Benny said, bolting out the door passed Ethan. “Let’s go! Grandma I’m taking the car!”

Ethan waved to Benny’s grandmother as he ran passed her, following Benny out the door.

He hoped this worked.

***

Benny parked the car and was about to run into the theater, guns blazing, but Ethan caught his elbow.

“Wait, wait, we can’t just burst in there! Look!” He said, pointing to the sign that read ‘Star Wars Original Trilogy Marathon - Tonight Only!’ People stood in a line out of the theater, dressed to impress in various Star Wars get ups.

Benny cursed. “Of course, the one time we need to get in there quickly they’re having a special screening.”

“We can use the side door,” Ethan said. “And here” - he handed Benny a storm trooper helmet - “we’ve gotta blend in or they’ll see us coming.”

Benny groaned. “They could be sucking her dry right now!”

“They want us, not her. And Y/N is not helpless. And I’ve got Erica and Sarah already in there scoping the place.”

“You called them before me!”

“They’re vampires!”

Benny just grumbled and put the helmet on, crossing his arms.

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Put on the costume and let’s go.”

***

Ethan and Benny snuck through the side door, dressed fully in storm trooper get up.

“This sucks, E. I can’t see a thing in this helmet.”

“What do you want from me, B?” Ethan retorted.

He suddenly let out a gasp and turned to Ethan. “Oh my god, E. This is a New Hope. I’m Han, you’re Luke, and Y/N is Leia. Yes! This is like my perfect dream.”

Ethan groaned. “I wish I could argue with you.”

“Ethan, Benny!”

The two turned to see Sarah and Erica running their way.

“What’re you guys doing here?” Ethan asked.

“What?” Benny turned to Ethan. “You called them, right?”

“Uh-”

“There’s a bunch of vampires here. Some of Jesse’s old friends that want revenge for his death.” Sarah explained.

“They’ve got the whole place on lockdown. They’re planning on locking all the star wars nerds in here and feasting.” Erica said.

“Oh my god, this is exactly like Star Wars!” Benny gushed.

“Yeah, okay, Han Solo, chill.” Ethan said. “But that does give me an idea. Where are they hiding?”

***

Erica scowled as Ethan and Benny led them up the stairs like prisoners. “I never agreed to being Chewbacca.”

“Shh. No choice.” Ethan retorted before pushing open the door to the control room.

There were three vampires sitting in there, they were staring out the small window, watching the movie before turning to the now open door.

“Who are you? And what have you here?” One of them sneered.

“We’re with you. Had to dress up to blend in. Caught these two trying to pull the fire alarm. Thought you might want to deal with them.”

Erica hissed at them and the leader, grabbed her by the chin. “Such a pretty face. Shame we’ll have to kill you.”

Erica kneed him in the crotch, making him groan.

“Look out! They’re loose!” Benny quoted, letting go of Sarah’s arms so that she could assist in beating the crap out of the three of them.

It was a good thing that Star Wars was a rather loud movie or the crowd might have been alarmed by all of the noise.

“All right, you scum,” Benny said, grabbing one that was barely conscious. “Where’s Y/N?”

“Benny-”

“Tell me!”

“Benny!”

“What?” Benny yelled at Ethan.

“They don’t have her. This was supposed to be a surprise for you. We were gonna find her in one of the empty rooms in the theater and then she was gonna take you to an empty theater and you two were gonna watch the marathon together. But now she’s alone in a room with a bunch of vampires around.”

“What?” Benny shouted. “For the love of- You go and get her, we’ll hold them here.”

“You mean we” - Erica gestured between her and Sarah - “will hold them.”

“Yeah, whatever, just go her!”

Benny pulled off the helmet and sighed.

“She really likes you, you know.” Sarah said.

“Come on,” Benny said with a bitter laugh. “Maybe right now, but once she gets me she’ll be off to the next guy in a week. That’s how they all are.”

“Not Y/N.” Erica replied. “She doesn’t get around. Never has. Her last boyfriend was a dick so if she’s pursuing you, she must really like you.”

Benny sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’m just scared. We kinda run in two different circles now, you know?”

“And you can’t overlap? According to what? The rules of high school? The world isn’t so black and white, Benny.” Sarah encouraged.

****

Ethan rushed down the hallway, looking on the door numbers for 2187 (a number you had modified for the surprise).

“Yes!” Ethan said, reaching the door. He quickly pulled it open to find you laying there on a table, decked out in an impressive Princess Leia costume. It looked like you’d fallen asleep.

“Y/N!” He called and you sat up.

“Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?” You said cheekily. “Where’s Benny?”

Ethan rolled his eyes, pulling off his helmet. “No time!”

“Come on, say the line!”

“What? No, you don’t understand-”

“Ethan! Say the line!” You whined.

He sighed. “I’m Ethan Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you.”

You grinned broadly. “Thank you.”

“But seriously, I’m rescuing you. There are vampires here, and we need to get back to Benny, Sarah, and Erica.

“What?” You shouted, processing the information.

“Sarah and Erica are vampires. Good ones. But there are evil ones here that are planning on sucking the souls out of everyone in the theater and we’ve got to get them and you out of here.”

“What? Where’s Benny?”

“Come on!” Ethan encouraged and, just like the movie, you ran out first despite not knowing where you were going.

***

You met back up with Benny, Sarah, and Erica in the hallway, as they were backed against the wall with more vampires on the way.

“Where are they all coming from?” Sarah said, spraying a holy water gun and knocking one down.

“I don’t know but I know for sure we can’t get out that way.” Benny said.

“Looks like you cut off our only escape route. All the doors are that way!” You replied.

“Oh, I’m sorry, perhaps you'd like it back in your cell, Princess Leia!” Benny bit back at you sarcastically.

“Ethan, are the sprinklers still lined with holy water?”

“I don’t know. I never did anything to take it out.”

“Let’s give it a try!” Erica said, pulling out her lighter and holding it up to the sprinkler above her head, covering herself with her leather jacket and Sarah holding up an umbrella she had been using as a weapon.

The water almost immediately started spraying out, setting off the fire alarm and soaking the vampires attacking you, burning and hissing all the way down.

“What is your problem?” You hissed at Benny.

“Well, we wouldn’t be cornered if you hadn’t lured me here! And by using Ethan! I feel betrayed!”

“Oh, I’m sorry for trying to prove to you that I like you!”

“Ha! If you really liked me you wouldn’t have become so popular! Leaving your real friends to rot in geek town!”

“That wasn’t my fault! I did what I liked! You guys are the ones who thought I needed to change just because I did similar activities to the other rich kids!”

“Guys!” Ethan interrupted. “Not the time! We need a way out. Now.”

“Oh for the love of-” You rolled your eyes and opened up the trash cute. “Everybody in!”

“Ew. Do we have to go full star wars?” Sarah asked.

“Would you rather chance the holy water river?” You replied, pointing to the floor that was slowly filling up with more water.

“Good point. Let’s go!”

Sarah entered first, followed by Erica, then Ethan, then you, then Benny.

You all were spit out into the dumpster that was full of candy wrappers, old popcorn, and soda cups.

Erica toppled into Sarah and Ethan rammed into her. You managed to avoid their collision only to have Benny slam into you from behind.

You all groaned at the impact and rolled around for a minute, picking popcorn and sticky candy out of your hair and clothes.

“Oh, I’m gonna need a shower.” Ethan groaned.

“After this I think you all deserve a spa.” You said. “I’ll buy.”

“You better.”

“Well, that was not how I foresaw this night going,” You said, standing up with the others and pulling a candy wrapper out of your hair.

Benny stood up, picking garbage off his clothes, and let out a chuckle. “What? Did you think that I was gonna give in just because of your big gesture?”

You turned on him with fiery eyes. “Would you just get it through your thick skull? I like you, okay? I’m not gonna break up with you in a week, I’m not gonna cheat on you, I’m not gonna try to convert you to a jock. Benny I’ve liked you since third grade! I just got enough confidence to tell you and you keep avoiding me every chance you get! If you don’t like me would you just tell me? It would save me a lot of time and money!”

“Not that that would be a problem for you, rich girl!”

“Well, I’m sorry my parents are wealthy! I’m sorry you live with your grandmother and not in a mansion! We’re different but quit painting me as the villain in your pathetic hero story!”

You both were fuming at each other. Erica, Sarah, and Ethan were standing with wide eyes watching this go down.

“Well, maybe if you had just stuck with your real friends we wouldn’t be in this situation!”

“I did! You guys are the ones who treated me like I’d been converted to a cult!”

“Not much different!”

“What is your problem with popular people? You have some sort of nerd code that says you can’t get along with them? Weren’t you the one who was friends with David Stachowski?”

“That’s a different story! He chose us!”

“So did I!”

“No. You didn’t choose us, you chose to have sleepovers with the cheerleaders and go to country club parties and be homecoming queen!”

“I can have more than one group of friends, you know? But do you know who I had hoped would be there for me when I needed it? You guys. Ethan was. You’re the one who keeps running away from me!”

“Well, I’m sorry I think I’m not good enough for you!”

“You’ve always been good enough for me!”

“Well, then I guess I’m saying yes!”

“To what?”

“Everything. All of it. Every date you’ve asked me on, every invitation to a dance, every declaration of love. Yes. I love you. Yes.”

Tears were in your eyes now and you threw yourself into his arms, burying your face into his neck.

Benny hugged you back, as tightly as he could without hurting you.

“You smell like garbage,” you whispered.

He laughed. “So do you.”

Suddenly there was clapping from behind you.

You turned to see Erica slow-clapping. “Well, as much fun and as that rom-com moment was. Can we get out of the dumpster now?”

And you did.

It was safe to say your Leia dress was probably ruined, but you would probably keep it anyway.

Benny held your hand all the way to the car.

You hoped this was the start of something wonderful.

[yourmcu]

Mesmerized (ii)

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Request:

@lostaurorax​ said:

hii!! i love ur writing i was wondering if u could write a natasha x reader fic were reader is part of the guardians of the galaxy and they come to the compound and natasha is just starstruck but reader plays kinda hard to get and then just a bunch of fluff !

Word count: 2,551

A/n: basically a day out with Natasha. you like having her around. she likes having you around. Part 2/? (more notes at the end of the fic!)

Warnings: mostly fluff, but ending’s pretty angsty (help), some thor fluff in the beginning, jealous!nat if you squint

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

gif not mine!! credits to the owner^^

After Natasha left your room she immediately goes straight to hers. She barely falls asleep.

She stares at the ceiling, absorbed in her own thoughts. She tries to shake away the heat rushing to her face whenever the moment you kissed her on the cheek replays on her mind. All it took is someone like you to get one of the toughest people in the compound turn into mush.

She never believes in the ‘love at first sight’ bullshit because, well, it is bullshit. It’s impossible to love someone you just met. But who knows, right? You might just be an exception.

No, Natasha frowns. I just like her... a lot. It’s different.

The next morning, her run consists of her planning out the date day with you, where she’d take you first and stuff. She stops by the front gate of the compound, suddenly worrying. She wants to impress you. But what if you don’t like what she had in store? What if you think she's boring?

You're the type of person that almost likes everything and you’d express it kindly if you don’t. Boring you should be the last thing on Natasha’s mind.

Natasha walks into the kitchen to hydrate herself but halts once she saw the mess you and Thor had all over the counters.

“Wait, hold on- no, that’s - oh god, Thor, that’s too much batter!” You smack him on the arm and laugh, tilting your head a bit to figure out how you’d get the large pancake out of the pan.

“Oops,” Thor says sheepishly, turning around to put the bowl back on the counter, noticing Natasha’s confusion. “Oh don’t worry, Natasha, we’ll clean up after we’re done.”

The mention of the redhead makes you turn as well. “Good morning, Nat.” You beam. Normally, Natasha would sent a glare to anyone who calls her that, someone who isn’t a close friend, but with you... instead of a glare her eyes light  up. Giving you a small smile, she greets you back.

“I thought you were going out?” She questions, passing by you to reach the fridge.

“We were, but IHOP’s closed, under maintenance they said,” Thor sighs and you hum in response. “It’s quite alright. I heard you guys are going out anyway-”

Natasha lowers the water bottle from her lips, staring at him. “You heard?”

You spin around to clean up after turning off the stove. ‘I didn’t tell him anything,’ you mouth to her, which makes her think Steve somehow knows of it already.

Thor lets out a laugh, grabbing the whole pan and twiddling his fork, “you two have fun.” He winks and walks out of the room.

-----

“They were so cute,” you look back at the newly engaged couple near the window of the restaurant. “And really, you didn’t have to pay. I can pay you back.”

Later that afternoon the both of you headed out. Natasha parked her car somewhere and since it was a nice day, not too hot or anything, you both strolled around the city to find a place to have brunch.

“Y/N, it’s fine. I’m the one who asked you out.” Natasha chuckles, remembering the way you pouted in there begging her to let you pay at least for your own food.

You huff, smiling. “Fine. But I’m getting you back.”

So far you were having a good time with her. You got to know each other more, she told you stories about some of the team’s missions from other countries which were relatively rare, her first encounters with Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, and in return you told her some about your out-of-this-world missions with the guardians.

And no you didn’t tell her about the history of moon rocks or some shit, nor did you promise to bring her back some. Who even collects those nowadays? Natasha was more interested about your early life, on Earth, which you were thankful for. You were taken away from your father (the only parent you preferred and loved) who was pure human one day by your alien-freak of a mother which you inherited your fire powers from.

You don’t like talking about it. But with her you're surprisingly comfortable.

Natasha smirks. “So we’re going out again sometime?”

“Of course we are.” After two seconds of pure confidence you wish you didn’t say that out loud. “Well, you know, I won’t force you to something you don’t want it’s - it’s your call.”

You're in the middle of telling her about your favorite bar and diner, the one your father always takes you as a child and you even paid a visit there the last time you were on Earth.

“Huh. Isn’t that the one that just closed?” She recalls

“No, really?” You drag out the ‘no’, sighing. “They’re the best. They make their own iced tea and beer and stuff... and - oh!”

You feel something rub against your ankle: a fluffy dog who's looking up at you with its tongue out and its tail was wagging wildly. Natasha raises her eyebrows, her eyes trailing to the abandoned leash behind it.

“Hey there,” you kneel down to pet it with caution just incase its intention is to bite you. But it seems to be happy and tame. “Look, Nat, s’adorable.” Natasha chuckles briefly and starts looking around for a person who looks frantic and is finding, calling a dog. 

“This fella belongs to the animal center.” You caress the dog behind its ear while you read the information on its collar.

It isn’t that far, it seems like the dog just escaped as well because the guy running the center was unaware of its absence.

“Thanks!” Said guy smiles in appreciation, reaching out to take the leash out of your hand. Natasha’s mind is focused on how the guy looks at you for the first time. It's the exact same look she gave you that night. Mesmerized, as if it was love at first sight. She doesn’t miss how his hand brushes yours, completely intentional. “I don’t know what I’d do if you hadn’t returned him. The pups here just grew out of their mom’s milk and are very hyper. It’s a lot of work.”

You're completely oblivious to this, you’re just glad the dog is back to where he belongs.

“No problem, he’s very sweet.” You smile politely. “Are they up for adoption? It would really help you out if they were, you know, and this one here is well behaved.”

At this point Natasha’s just eyeing the guy like he’d pounce on you any minute now. He’s definitely into you and she doesn’t like it.

“You’re welcome to stop by anytime,” he grins, ignoring your suggestion. “Can I have your number?”

“Oh, I don’t have a phone...” you trail off.

“That’s right, she doesn’t.” Natasha steps in and she catches the guy off guard and surprised that the Black Widow is actually with you the whole time. Natasha intertwines her hand with yours, pleased with his dumbfounded reaction. “We’ll be on our way now.”

You didn’t expect that but you weren’t complaining. Her hands were soft, and it brought this comforting feeling you couldn’t explain. But you clear your throat once the both of you are a few blocks away from the center.

“Sorry, he gave me an off vibe,” Natasha mutters and removes her hand from yours.

“Don’t be, I appreciate you looking out,” you smiles. Her car was getting into view now. “If it helps you sleep at night though, he wasn’t my type.” You joke.

Turns out you weren’t completely oblivious.

Natasha merely scoffs, getting in the driver’s seat and starting the engine.

After the dog incident you both drove around different parts of the city. You went to a different mall to stroll around, commenting on anything you both saw that would somehow lead to a stupid story that happened at some point in your lives.

A local artsy bookstore, not gonna lie Natasha liked reading a good book when she had the time. So did you. It was nice to know that she’s the type of person who liked reading. Quill always got annoyed with you whenever he saw you reading silently in the ship (but when was he not annoyed with you?). The only ones that was willing to try and read back in space were Mantis and Gamora, bless her soul.

“These are good,” you mutter to Natasha. “All my books are on the ship, I think, but if I get to them I’ll let you read my favorite one... if you want.”

Last stop of the day. Natasha claims it’s a surprise.

“I don’t do well with surprises,” you whine, holding back a smile. “Just tell me.”

“No. And besides, we’re already here.” Natasha chuckles.

Your eyes light up on how stunning the scenery was. An edge of the cliff and below is a beach that doesn’t look like it’s visited by people everyday. The beautiful sunset, the sky made up of purple, orange and almost pink magnifies the calmness of the waves crawling gently to the shore.

“I always come here whenever I need to,” she says silently and exhales, walking over to you. “It’s the perfect place to go whenever those idiots get on my nerves.” You laugh lightly at her reasoning.

Natasha pats a spot on the grass beside her. She holds her gaze on you as you sit down, sighing. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah,” she manages to stop staring at you and look up at the sky instead. It's getting darker by the minute, the orange and pinkness started to fade as the sun went down, all of it replaced by light purple, darker shade of blue.

You're used to different colored skies. It would always vary and depend on what planet you were on, plus you always see those stars shimmering up above, so your focus is on the water and the waves. The way they move calms you.

“Thank you for today,” you murmur. “I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t expect any of this happening.”

Natasha hums. “I hope I wasn’t too boring.”

“Of course not, I think you’re very interesting and you’re fun to be with.” You say genuinely.

Once the sun is fully down and the moon had taken over the sky, the both of you get up to head back to the compound. “Eating out here would’ve been nice but Steve’s in charge with dinner, he wouldn’t be too happy if he knew we already ate.” The car ride back is silent, but the good kind. A content, comfortable one.

Okay so, your stay took more than a few weeks. 

You grew close with the amazing group of people, plus your good relationship with Natasha just kept growing and... just got better.

Thor stayed too because he didn’t have a choice, but he didn’t mind. Rocket left one pod for both of you to use that’ll send you to wherever Quill’s ship was up there. 

You and Natasha went out when you had the chance, taking turns treating each other to stuff. You learned that Thor included your books when he packed you a bag, and now Natasha was borrowing one of them.

Sometimes you’d join them on missions. You did a great job every time, not wanting to be a burden to a team you weren’t officially in. Sometimes you’d join Steve into a sparring session at the compound’s gym.

Speaking of which, he’s treating both you and Natasha as if you’re dating.

“Would you look at that, your girl managed to give me a bruise. She’s a keeper.” Steve tells Natasha.

“You totally deserve that.”

You also started sparring with Natasha. And Tony caught on with the whole ‘dating’ thing from Steve.

“Oooh, am I interrupting something here?” Tony smirks. He's going back and forth visiting the compound and coming home to his wife and daughter at their cabin. It's working out though. “I think the mat’s unsanitary. Take this to the bedroom.”

“Oh shut up, Y/N was just working on her tackling.” Natasha grunts, leaving you sprawled  on the mat, exhausted. “It’s getting sloppy. We’ll go again in a minute.”

-----

“Y/N,” The devastating tone of Natasha’s voice makes you look up. “Quill’s calling. He’s looking for you.”

“What?” She doesn’t answer but instead motions you to follow. In her office is a hologram of your fellow half-human and he looks distraught.

You step in front of the hologram so he can see you. 

“What happened to a few weeks, L/N? It’s been almost three months!” Quill says. “Look, come back, bring Thor with you. Our distress signal goes off almost every day and we can’t keep doing this without both of you.”

“Alright, how much time do I have before you lose your cool?” You reply sarcastically, but you're also worried and didn’t want to leave. You know better than to argue with the guy.

Natasha doesn’t want you to leave so suddenly. There’s limited communication between you and her once you go back up there. She grew attached to you.

Quill gives you an obvious look. “As soon as possible! Just - just get back here, please?” Then he abruptly ends the call.

You roll your eyes and left the room to pack, barely noticing Natasha hunched over, visibly sad and anxious that you’re leaving.

She loves you, and now you’re leaving without that knowledge.

You told Thor about it when he passed by the open door of your room. He didn’t look thrilled to be leaving so suddenly. After packing everything up (on his part it wasn’t that much) he offered to carry your bag for you as you said your farewells.

“Sorry guys, duty calls,” you sigh, hugging everyone. “Seeing as Tony’s not here just tell him I’ll miss him or something.”

“Will you come visit soon?” Wanda asks as she pulls away from your hug.

“Definitely.” You turn your head when Steve nudges you, nodding his head to the direction where Natasha is shifting, pacing, avoiding any eye contact.

You walk over to her. She tries holding back tears as you did. She grew attached to you and now you’re leaving. “Hey Nat,” you cup her face, trying to get her to look at you. “I’m sorry. I don’t wanna leave either, not right now, but-”

Natasha kisses you, pulling you close to her as much as possible. Tears fully streaming down her face. She’s never felt this way before, about anybody, for a long time.

But let’s face it, you both know you loved each other. Maybe the both of you just knew that if you got together, it’ll be extremely hard for your relationship once you left. The long distance relationship thing. Even if you aren’t, it's already too painful for Natasha, like she's caught off guard or something. None of you knew that today's your last night on Earth.

“I’m gonna miss you.” Natasha whispers after pulling away.

You smile sympathetically, wiping her tears away with your thumb. “You know I’ll come back, right, pretty girl?” Natasha exhales shakily and pulls you into a hug.

“You better.”

----

I found a song for this fic-series whatever, please I’m so proud of myself the song reminds me of this story

I’M ANNOYED THAT I HAVEN’T PUT IN MUCH ABOUT THE READER’S FIRE ABILITIES IN THIS ONE BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY ANYWAY (they’re on a date she wouldn’t need it for anything)

[peyyyton]

hi everyone! i go by river, use he/they prns, and this here is my boy peyton kang. i’m really excited to write with you all, so pls leave a like if you want to plot and i’ll get to you asap! i do prefer to use dscord ( gaylittlesan#7578 ! ) but i’ll reach out with ims and we can go from there <3 under the cut will be some info on pey!

━♡ guess the 24 YEAR OLD MARCH baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because PEYTON KANG is just as LIVELY as the month of MARCH. wait, why do they remind me of KIM JONGIN? beyond that, they seemed ALLURING & DETERMINED upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of RECKLESS & ABRASIVE though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 9 / FLOOR 4 ; HE seems to have a lot going on with HIS job as BARTENDER / BUSKER. 

i don’t have a proper bio yet so pls bare with me T_T

born and raised in chicago, peyton is a 24 yr old march baby from a normal upper middle class family. he’s a pisces/aries cusp. no he is not okay.

he has 2 younger siblings and he is Very much an obnoxious older brother

his sister phoebe is actually tiktok famous (much to his surprise, she has a few million followers) and he’s been featured in some of her videos if ur familiar w the app .. maybe u recognize him

honestly he’s kind of a himbo fuckboy dudebro but he’s also a mama’s boy and he’s not intentionally mean usually or anything so like... give him a chance !!

he was super popular in high school and college, ur stereotypical star athlete. very charming, athletic, all the girls wanted him B)

as popular as he was, his parents are a little crazy. they’re both ‘functional’ alcoholics and ended up divorcing when peyton was eighteen. it was lowkey a huge mess and he hates thinking about it 🙈 his mom got custody and things r still a little awkward w/ dad but they stay in contact. kinda.

he was a bit of a troublemaker in high school bc of problems at home. he got into fights, snuck out, messed around, stupid teenage shit yknow. high school was crazy for pey but once the divorce was finally settled, he was in college and had the chance to mature a lot.

while he wasn’t getting into fights or doing extremely stupid shit anymore (just regular stupid shit), peyton was still ur basic fuckboy at university. he partied, slept around and uh. yes. he was in a frat at one point. he hated it LMAO

peyton was also on the school’s soccer team, which he had to keep his grades up for so he Does have a decent head on his shoulders even if he is a bit of a himbo. he has a good heart underneath it all i promise.

he ended up majoring in philosophy (which he rly had no idea what was going on most of the time) and tried to explore different things during college, but he never found anything that seemed to click. 

immediately after earning his degree, peyton decided to pack up his things and move to south korea on a whim in order to ‘find himself’. to do some soul searching, if u will. he has no idea what he wants to do with his life, and after being so adored in school, the world seems super fucking daunting to him. but he likes to hide his insecurities by being sexy. just cool guy things u know

he’s been in korea just for a few years now - currently he’s doing well as a bartender (yes he does brag about tips), and sometimes you’ll catch him singing and playing the guitar on the street when he’s bored out of his mind. he’s literally just some guy but he dresses and acts like he’s the dumbest coolest around and u know. sometimes he's right. but most of the time he’s just some guy

wanted connections / plots!

crazy exes!!! exes on good terms!! ex fwbs!!! all the exes

peyton has a one night stand w/ someone after a wild night and the last thing he expects is to find out they live in the same apartment complex

past + present hookups/fwbs in general. peyton IS a hoe

‘no u cannot get a free drink just because we live in the same apartment complex’

american friends? or just buddies he speaks english with

ride or dies!!! best friends!!! peyton was by himself and super lonely when he first came to kr so i’d love him to have some bffs that he can annoy n will annoy him back

peyton broke ur heart... and he said oops?

someone is making a Lot of noise after peyton has a very late and unpleasant shift and he is not happy about it

perhaps,, an online friend since peyton is from the states? maybe they’ve never actually met irl but have been close online for years. he’s not easy to open up, so ur muse could see a completely different side of him thru the screen :o

cousins/family friends that peyton could have had from when he visited korea growing up

ur not interested or impressed by peyton at all (doesn’t have to be romantic) and it hurts his pride just a little

peyton is actually bisexual, he just doesn’t have that much experience with guys. but maybe ur muse was/is the one to change that 🤨

love interests .. non-endgame ships.. i want it all!!!

ANYWAY that is all i have rn.. i will hopefully get out a proper plot page sometime soon, but for now you can check out peyton’s bare bones profile here if u so desire! if u read this whole post i literally owe u my life so <3 pls come plot w me <3

[karaslluthor]

supercorp fanfic masterpost pt.2

this has been in my drafts for over a year so here ya go and hasn't been updated since then but if u haven't read these then ur welcome. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

its literally a big ass list jsyk and i did all the tumblr tags back then so idk if they are still the same users but hopefully lmao. 

original part 1 is here boysss

MULTI FICS

somewhere i have never travelled (http://archiveofourown.org/works/9268886/chapters/21008012)

kara and lena visit all different places lenas lived and then they find a home together and its super cute and fluffy I cry

Paranoia Incarnated - @justmickeyfornow

mickey is my fucking supercorp spiritual guider with the best fucking fic and ive read it about 322934 times and still is sooo good. Also the whole heartbeat thing KILLS me. SO MUCH ANGST but literally its worth the death u go through trust me

Transcendent Interactions 

Kara and lena share this bond thing from birth and can feel each others emotions and they finally meet and its so great like im actually fucking in love with this fic and kara gets herself off all the time thinking lena doesn’t know idk just read it u wont regret I stg

Closer and Closer (Until We Collide) - @hallow777 

Im a slut for bed sharing tropes and this is so CUTE like lenas all freaking out because she keeps waking up cuddling kara and alex is oblivious to everything and its just soooo good

So, This Happened?

Drunk kara leaves drunk alex for a more suitable cuddle buddy aka lena lesbian luthor and lena sleeps in a supergirl t shirt bc of course

Sojourn 

Holy mother of fuck as if this fic didn’t absolutely ruin my fucking life??? Lena has to go to London for a month so she invites kara to come with her and lena has a gay awakening and realises shes in love with kara and its SO FUCKING GOOD

just one wrong move (baby, baby)

lena is having karas baby from this alien tech accidentally! And lena is so loved and its so cute like honestly and obviously they fall in love bc duh

hold me, my dear (and don't let go)

kara is a professional cuddler and lena hires her services bc shes a sad touch starved young lady and deserves to have some hugs in her life hello fluff my old friend discovering the moon 

alex and lena brotp and holy fuck does it deliver!!!! Alex is like a wingwoman we all need and kara and lena just need to communicate tbh but AMAZING

Focus on Something You Love, and Breathe

Lex is a little shit as always and wants to kill lena bc he thinks shes in love with supergirl (which she is) so kara says she can stay with her and obviously the angst is juicy and ruined my life. So. Good. Read. It.

Offstage 

College theatre au but like literally one of the best college aus ive ever read!!!! Lenas just a big lesbian and karas confused and they bang secretly and its glorious

it's a boy!

lena takes in a super powered alien baby that falls from the sky and gets a weird neighbor in the form of kara danvers and theres not many chapters yet so im not sure whats happening with kara yet but im super excited for this!!!

Break My Fall 

Kara dates monel but kisses lena as supergirl and its angsty and smutty and all round a good fucking time

carefulness can be damned 

Post 3x7, literally smut with some plot need I say more??

A Foolish Wit - @seabiscuits-us​

if you haven’t read seabiscuits fics are you even a supercorp fan?? Lena needs a husband and Clark Danvers is positively charming and also actually disguised as a man, I mean.. quality content

In My Veins

im soooo excited for this fic because the lena/alex brotp is written so well!!! Basically lena and alex become really good friends bc they both deal with their issues by drinking obvs and kara thinks they are secretly dating and gets upset and im SO READY FOR THIS ANGST

Would You Catch Me If I Fall For You ('Cause I'm falling) 

This is absolutely amazing and so captivating and I was honestly on edge the whole time kudos to the author!!!!! Kara goes back in time to warn lena about her dying on the venture and lena falls in love with her but she disappears and then when real kara and lena meet, kara doesn’t remember knowing lena and ughsalkdhsla its so good.

We Need a New Song

Oh my good golly gosh this fic ruined my life. Ballet au that has barely any ballet and an abundance of GAY and I had to take a moment after reading this to collect myself tbh

and stick it into someone else's heart 

Rhea infected lenas boobs in a cage dress with some weird alien stuff and her and kara have to bang or THEY’LL DIE pretty much but they love each other

The Laws of Fate 

soulmate au where everyone has a red string and lenas points to the sky and shes confused af but it’s a gay slow burn and the angst is good for ur soul

My Sun 

Lena gets into a car accident and kara thinks she died but lex is a maniac and wants lenas help and fdjsaklfs it’s a rollercoaster let me tell you

Mercy on Me 

lena falls under black mercy and in order to bring her back karas has to break her poor little gay heart bc lena thinks her and kara are in looooove AWWW heart shatters

Be your own Hero 

Collection of supercorp one shots!!!!!! Quality content lemme tell yaaaa

pick a blossom and hold it to your breast (honey, you know that’s my love bursting loud from inside) 

kara and lena rely on their late night phone calls with each other and get the feels and go on a date and they are just cute adorable dorks that are nervous  

your voice is pretty, baby (but i’d rather have your pretty skin instead) 

part 2 of pick a blossom ^^^ still adorably cute and a smut chapter I mean come on, treat yoself

Firsts 

kara and lenas first told in the cutest wayyyyyyyy

Whispers 

lena works with lillian to save supergirl and its oh so angsty and kara always believes her girl bc that’s canon

My personal Santa in heels 

Kara loves Christmas almost as much as she loves lena, almost

Timer 

Soulmate AU where everyone can have a device installed to tell them the time until they meet their soulmate, kara and lena love each other but kara cant have a timer installed obvs kryptonian skin and its so cute and soft and angsty

The Fatal Flaw 

Super cool and different fic and keen to see more chapters from this!! Kara doesn’t have her powers (yet) and she meets lena at a party at college and then clark tells her shes actually an alien ooooo im keen

Stay the night 

Lena inherits the national city womens basketball team and star player kara danvers is a muscly babe and they try not to fall in love BUT ITS JUST TOO HARD BECAUSE THEY ARE SOULMATES also I love jack in this such a wingman

1865 

MATTTTTTTTEEEE lena is the daughter of the governor and shes a little rebel. She falls in love with kara but her family has arranged her marriage to monel BUT LIKE THEY JUST LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH btw they are aliens but like in 1865 so cool. Pls update I love this so much

All Our Bodies in the Grass - @seabiscuits-us​

fuckkkkk this fic honestly, amish au and lena knows nothing but kara is down to help her out while also sharing lovely girl mags ;)

B.F.F.W.E.B

Kara and lena are friends with benefits but feels get involveddddd, lenas a useless lesbian

All the little lies 

Kara comes to earth and falls in love with lena but she has to go back to krypton and breaks lenas heart in the process, but she comes back and its only been like 7 months but its been like 3 years for lena!!! (I cant remember exact dates don’t judge me)

half melted m&m's 

lena needs a fake wife to stay in the country so kara is ever so helpful and agrees to be her wife, oh I do love a fake wife trope and this delivers!!!!

The Wrong Superhero 

Lena gets saved by batwoman and supergirl thinks she is super jealous because of superhero-related reasons but shes just in love with lena

We'll Take on the World 

College au, just useless fools in love that need to communicate and make out more

And they call me from beyond the stars 

Omg I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH ok so kara is a ghost (still from krypton and stuff) but no one can see her except lena so lena works on trying to get her back into the physical plane of existence so she can find alex but they FIND LOVE WITH ONE ANOTHER oh my god so angsty let me tell ya be warned

Wait for me to come home 

https://lostariels.tumblr.com/

idk where to even start on this fic honestly, im pretty sure most people have read this bc it’s a rite of passage but fuck it gets me everytime!!!! Army au and there is so much angst and I love it

An Unexpected Surprise 

supercorp baby au!!! Kara and lena bang and kara ends up preggers. Iconic  

Days in a Lifetime 

Kara and lena grow up together, massive slowburn but worth the wait!!!!! ACTUALLY GO AND READ ALL OF STENS BECAUSE I JUST REALISED HOW MANY I PUT IN HERE AND THEY ARE ALL FUCKING GREAT

Do you wanna (like you know I do) - @seabiscuits-us​

another seabiscuit, I couldn’t not put this in!!! CAPE COD and sharing of bunk beds!!! Pls update this my soul is withering away

Purple and Black are my Favorite Colours 

Kara gets in contact with kryptonite that makes her gp! And her and lena b a n g    

ONE SHOTS

danishes and other sweet treats 

oh my fuck this is so cute and its like a long one shot so I mean get on it because kara and lena go to a conference and share a hotel room need I say more  

Sun Kissed 

Kara takes lena on a roadtrip to the science museum for her birthday and my good golly gosh its so cute I could ascend to heaven

Only Human 

A one shot with two chapters in different POV but lenas jealous of monel and then supercorp bang and its all angsty and lena protects kara and tbh they need to communicate but happy endings and love all round

The Right Thing 

Lena freaks out because lex knows her and supergirl are dating and does the most dramatic thing (of course) by distancing herself from kara and did I say angst???/ also I cried multiple times in this

funny how the stars crossed right 

Kara and lena keep meeting at parties and have super dorky costumes and fall in love (literally love anything written by you btw, im going to go ahead and say I would have all yours bookmarked so everyone just check them ALL out)

Accidental Text

kara accidentally sends a love confession to lena and its short and cute!      

Unspoken Promises

supergirl and reign battle and lena finds out about kara being supergirl and supercorp are just obliviously in love

Green (Kara loves it and hates it in equal measure)

Im a sucker for a jealous trope and boy does this deliverrrr. Karas hella jealous of lena having other friends but realises its because shes super in love with her

Crush

Karas jealous because lena is flirting with supergirl but lena knows kara is supergirl so shes actually flirting with kara, nice!

My Donuts

Karas really jealous of sam and lena spending heaps of time together and then kara walks in on them having donuts and she fucking loses it because its their thing duh.

when we get there 

Lena invites kara to her beach house to chill and they obvs fall in love because they are cute af

Have a Break 

Lena is determined to work out how to use a vending machine to get kara her candy and kara and winn are watching it all unfold via cameras in catco, basically lena vs. the machine (himym singing voice)

Self doubt and comforting talks 

Drunk kara, comforting lena fluff and adorableness

Shopping carts and a beautiful girl 

Kara crashes into lenas car in a shopping cart and they go on a date and its SO CUTE

Distractions 

lenas oblivious to kara being supergirl even though kara slips up all the time!!! #nicehalloweencostumekara

Lip Bites & Long Gazes 

lenas a big gay flirt and kara gets frustrated and flustered and calls her out and they make out

Off the Record 

kara spots lena at a gay club and they dance and make out *lizzie mcguire voice this is what dreams are made of*

Not so secret 

the superfriends take a weekend away and kara and lena bang pretty much smut but its cute

come be my lover, be my getaway car 

How many amazing tropes can you fit into one fic (aka the fic that made me lose my fucking mind oh my god its so good, had it include)

A one time thing

Kara and lena end up banging in a motel and kara has an internal meltdown its great

This is Home 

Listen here, this is the most adorable thing my two eyes have ever witnessed. Lena doesn’t really have a home kara the sweet soul she assists her in finding a home with her (aka its kara, kara is her home get it)

Her Biggest Fan 

lena is apart of the supergirl fandom, aka shes me

Drunk Puppy

kara being a drunk gay mess wanting to hunt seashells with lena

Act Natural

kara and lena have hickies and try to hide them on a beach trip with the gang  

Like a date, date 

kara asks lena on a date and lena has a gay panic attack pretty much

Datable 

everyone thinks kara and lena are dating so they just start dating? Amazing

Stop following me, creep 

Please clarify 

Lena tries to tell kara she loves her and wants to date but karas an alien and just doesn’t get it, so cuteeeee

Fate is Written in the Ink (part 1) 

Fate is Written in the Ink (part 2)

Soulmate au!!!! Any ink on your skin appears on your soulmates and omg its so cute like kara draws all this art on herself and lena gets to see it too!!!!!

Muddle my heart (then add a dash of lime) 

Kara keeps going to the bar because punk/bartender Lena is a babe and she has a big lesbian crush on her

be hopeful, don't get broken (stay caught up in the moment) 

angsty dog au and I mean PUPPIEs and SUPERCORP need I say more?

The makings of a family 

Clark is the one who arrives after being stuck in the phantom zone and kara has to look after him and lena helps her out and wow new baby for supercorp

Let Your Guard Down 

Lena in a DEO uniform sparring with kara and its so angsty because lenas mad at kara for not telling her the supergirl secret and then they bang and did I already mention lena in a DEO uniform???  

Do you not like the service here?

Thirsty kara and waitress lena, lenas jealous of alex l o l

here is where time is on our side (part 1) 

our corner of the universe (part 2) 

long oneshot but fuck me its so good. Post daxamite invasion/mon-el coming back and both are healing from everything and go on a roadtrip just wherever the map takes them and oh my fuck its so cute and everything u want in a fic. Part two is the follow up

The Uncanny Valley 

cadmus replaces real lena with a robot version and kara didn’t know but then kara finds lena and its cute  

put these battered bones to rest 

soulmate au (you should know by now im a sucker for a good soulmate au), lena has a foreign name on her hip (its kara btw)

pain

another soulmate au hhehehe soulmates feel each others pain obvs both these babies have a lot of paiiiiiin in their lives

Love is Garbage 

Literally a garbage truck au, im not even going to say more

i know you're out there somewhere waiting (i know the stars can hear us praying) 

Whats this??? Another soulmate au!!! Classic lover one arm, enemy on the other, honestly lena deserves more and just waits for kara to love her and I love this fic, also they help sam!!  

Monster in the Mirror 

Supercorp reveal in the middle of the lena/edge poisoning children episode oooooooh so angsty but happy love ending

Safety 

Supercorp first ever sleepover!!! This is so cute stop

Please Clarify 

Lena tries to ask kara out in every single way possible and kara is an oblivious alien

love is a flower, you gotta let it grow 

Unrequited love makes u grow flower petals in your lungs but when ur love is returned it clears up, this was dope and I love ur work

where our hands hurt from healing - @seabiscuits-us​

its seabiscuit do I need to say more?????? I will tho. Alex and lena match on tinder and become besties and I live for alex/lena brotp so….

blessed be (the mystery of love) - @seabiscuits-us​ 

*dj Khaled voice* ANOTHER ONE, look I love every single fic this one does not disappoint and nothing like a good light hearted first date fisting hahahahahaha

The Luthor and the Super That Saved the World 

Fit it fic for the season three finale where there is more supercorp and less shit writing, LOVE STENS WORK

Kara Danvers and the Brown Belt of Lesbianism 

Karas gay brown belt that she always wears that makes her look like a big ol lesbian drives lena mental bc she so gay

SIN

ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING BY JAZZFORDSHIRE IM NOT FUCKING JOKING LET YOURSELF FALL INTO THIS SMUTFEST AND LIVE UR BEST FUCKING LIFE AND IF YOU HAVENT READ THE CAMPING AU UR NOT EVEN A SUPERCORP STAN

Pleasure 

like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry 

What Happens in the K Room Doesn't Stay in the K Room 

green-eyed monster

Kara shows Lena what makes her Super 

Supergirl, Kara, and a Luthor walk into a bar... 

Late Night Heroics 

Good Vibrations 

Two Lena Luthors and a blonde walk into a bedroom... 

Her perfect match 

Girls' Night 

Happy Halloween, Supergirl 

What She Wants 

make the rules then break them 

an animal within an animal 

THE WILDEST THING IVE EVER READ, STRAP THE FUCK IN (youll understand my pun when you’ve read it)

[mychemicalaromanticism]

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Tachibana/Kiryu/Majima is a good ship and ur right and u should say it and always bring it up!!!!!!!! Also like same abt the crying abt Tachibana like lord. I get emotional thinking about him holding Kiryus hand ffs

Soft boys are too sofffftttt. 💕💕💕

And, since you have so kindly encouraged me, it’s OT3 time bitchesssss. 

I’ve got a lot of feels about Kiryu and Majima being fated lovers, don’t get me wrong. And canon sure as fuck does too. (I find it constantly hilarious that they Won’t Say It’s Gay and then put Majima in every spinoff and in EVERY spinoff he’s in love with Kiryu. And also what if people asked Kiryu he’s gay sometimes and he just doesn’t answer??? And what if we tanked every het romance option Kiryu could ever have??? Like... canon ain’t saying it’s gay but they ain’t saying it’s NOT gay and I’m just. Y’all are... so much.)

See, I love Kiryu/Tachibana and Kiryu/Majima, both are so Satisfying. But, if I was going to write post-Zero fic with Tachibana alive, I was gonna have to choose whether I just ignore Majima entirely and pretend That wasn’t happening or, somehow, code Majima’s relationship with Kiryu another way and... I didn’t really want to do that either. They could of course be platonic soulmates, but now I have to do relationship balancing and intimacy issues and asdkfhfkjdsahfkjsd blahhhh... rough times. I didn’t like either of these options, but I love my boy. So, what to do? 

Well, the old favorite for solving love triangles is a threeway. So I began to think... Kiryu has very obvious reasons for being in love with both of them (His type is: horrifically-powerful, secretly-good human being who is Absolutely Batshit. Fight me.) And they both have reasons for loving him. And that’s when it struck me... they love him for the same reasons. 

You see, Kiryu is an impossible thing. He is a miracle-worker. He is strong, sure, and kind. He takes a licking and keeps on ticking, so to speak. And, what’s most damning for both Tachibana and Majima, while a lot of their goodness must be hidden or disguised, Kiryu’s is entirely out in the open. He’s like a creature of light standing alone in the darkness and these two shadow creatures cannot help wanting to cling to him. He offers safety and protection, in different ways. He is incorruptible, he is impossible and that gets both of them. 

Now here you may notice that it’s a relatively exclusive group of people who are head-over-heels, madly in love with Kiryu. It’s just those two. Oh, everyone likes Kiryu, but to really be in love with him like that, you have to be crazy. Because Kiryu is crazy. It’s harder to spot, he’s not as flamboyant as Majima or as terrifying as Tachibana. But anyone who would take on the entire Tojo Clan single-handedly, anyone who would Turn Down the chairmanship for no other reason than he didn’t want it, anyone who would run away to Okinawa and start an orphanage without any fear of reprisal, anyone who just Does What They Want regardless of consequence or risk... is crazy. That’s what seduces Majima and Tachibana, the kindred they all share, they are fucking WILD for it. And Kiryu, lowkey, is wild for them too. They’re all like that, screw the consequences, I do what I think is right regardless. They’re all SO FUCKING HARD for that shit, I can’t even explain. So you don’t fall in love with Kiryu for the normal reasons one falls in love. You only fall in love one way and it is soul-wrenching and everlasting. It breaks you. So lots of people like Kiryu, but you gotta be crazy to walk the path he’s on. 

And then I thought... wait if that’s what they love about Kiryu... then they would love that about each other. Each of them is crazy enough to be a good person. Each of them has had a shit start in life, has lost much, has had to build themselves up and survive. And each of them is so fucking ready to marry the first good person they see... there’s absolutely no reason why they wouldn’t all marry each other. 

So, it’s obvious with Kiryu that he’s a good person. It’s harder with Majima and perhaps hardest of all with Tachibana. So it would take some time getting to know each other and trusting each other, but god, if you could do it... 

And here’s where my boy comes in. Because he is good at reading people. And, even better, once Tachibana has decided something, it will happen. If he got one look, just one good look, at Majima, just for a minute... fate sealed. Because Majima is good at misdirection, he’s an excellent magician. He can keep your attention in the left corner pocket while he’s dallying with the right side and you wouldn’t know the difference until you lost. But anyone trying that hard to keep everyone away, anyone trying that hard not to be mistaken for a good person, is hiding something. Tachibana would spot that a mile off. And, lord, if he saw him just LOOK at Kiryu, even once. Done for. No questions. Tachibana knows that look inside and out. 

Would he be jealous? Tachibana isn’t really possessive by nature. A great deal of his wealth and resources are used to support those that don’t have enough. Never being covetous is one of his precautions against becoming a greedy tyrant and antithetical to his aims. Tachibana would be an irredeemable monster if not for the fact that he never loses sight of what money is and what it isn’t. His ideas about the value of money extends to other things. He doesn’t think of Kiryu as ‘his.’ He adores Kiryu, cherishes him, and would protect him from any threat. But, part of his promise and his love for Kiryu is embedded in Kiryu... being Kiryu. Kiryu has to be free to be himself. Tachibana knows he would love him less if Kiryu stopped being Kiryu. So it doesn’t hurt him to see that someone else is interested in Kiryu, or KIryu is interested in them, on the contrary... Someone else being interested in Kiryu means something fascinating. 

Because, as I’ve said, you gotta be crazy to love Kiryu. If you love him, then you know what he is. Tachibana can’t share Kiryu with anyone else by the simple fact that no one else knows what he is. But someone else being interested... that means someone else sees it. No, quite to the contrary, Tachibana wouldn’t be jealous, he’d be overjoyed. If you adore Kiryu, you can’t want to own him, you just want to be close to him, be part of his life, help him. And Majima... adores. 

Majima, though. Majima barely thinks of himself as a person right now, much less worthy of having wants, much less worthy of Kiryu. He does want, terribly, he loves so badly all that Kiryu is and does. But if he saw, if he thought Kiryu was already with someone else, Majima would back away without a word. He was never worthy in the first place. And all that matters is if Kiryu’s happy. No reason to interject himself. So he’d be tricky if he thought he was competing or interfering with something established because he feels no right to his own desires. But Tachibana can work fast to counteract that, especially if he’s already decided Majima is going to be a part of this, and he most certainly has. 

And then there’s Kiryu too. Kiryu who is entirely ignorant of his own role and position in life, but who greatly looks up to people who are strong and do good in spite of great difficulty. Kiryu thinks Tachibana is a god to have come from so little and built up so much, to be so powerful and yet so kind. He’s blown away by what Tachibana is and does and hardly feels like he has anything to measure up. And Majima, well. At first, Majima is annoying, fierce, brash. He’s fun to fight, because he’s so fucking strong, and that’s a little bit intoxicating if he’s honest. The way he feels seen by Majima sometimes just... it itches under his skin, if he’s perfectly honest. Makes him want... things. But it’s the first time Kiryu sees Majima, the first time he realizes that Majima’s been lying all along, the first time he gets just a glance at that tender heart, that’s the nail in the coffin. Kiryu can’t let that go no matter what. Knowing that Majima is doing all this shit just to protect himself, which Kiryu has wrong, but knowing that beneath Majima is... unbearably sweet and kind, would burst Kiryu’s heart. And he’d never understand why someone so deserving would feel so unentitled. Out of his own sheer kindness, Kiryu would insist on being nice to Majima, insist on showing Majima he was worth something because it would break his heart to think of Majima’s nonexistent self-esteem. 

So out of profound mutual experience and values, they could be unstoppable. If given half a chance, they could rule Kamurocho from both legal and illegal business. A trifecta of CEO, chairman, and hand of the king. They’re all fucking nuts and they all get off on the fact that each other is the softest, kindest, strongest fuck. Just... I need a Minute.

[ziracona]

so can u tell us a little about ur characterization of Lisa?? What's she like inside and outside of trials? Does she have a lot of lucidity, what were her relationships with others like, would she ever get better, do you think? ( im SAD.) Just. What's she like!! Also, same for Sally? Oh! And I'm rly enjoying two songs by Meg Myers which maybe you'll like? Running up that hill (Cover) and Desire. Maybe check em out? :3 - Sleepy

Sure!

My Lisa is from a bit before the archives for her placed her (early 1970s), because I wrote ILM back when there was no date given for many killers or survivors, so I just hoped they were historically accurate with the things they did mention & went through a fairly exhaustive list of drained swamps in the Southern US & paddleboat makes & placed her according to that data (it’s been a bit so I don’t remember the exact date without looking up my notes) in the 1920s-1930s, I believe? And in her early 20s, since she’s described as a girl & young woman, which DbD usually does only for characters in their early 20s. (Which I’d still assume is her age, bc even though her archives, if you go by them, have her in her teens, they’re not connected to the events of her disappearance/definitely happened before them.)

In trials, Lisa has like 0 lucidity. I talk about this some in chapter notes, so I’ll try to give a quick overview instead but sry if I restart myself. She’s so starved that any time she sees a living being, she is just completely overcome with hunger and can’t do anything but operate on it. Very scary. Feral. Like being attacked by a starving animal. She’s super out of it, and is completely wild and violent and has no control, only the need to eat. Outside of trials, if no one is around, she’s lucid again, but will remember trials and what she did to people, and spends that time in horror and despair. She’s tried to kill herself before, because the last thing she ever wanted was to become the thing she swore vengeance on (the Entity’s a real cruel motherfucker. Did the same to Rin, to Philip, to everyone it could. Likes to really twist decent people into what they would most despair to be), but in the realm, she’s stuck as it. She’s not really aware for trials, but remembers them with decent clarity, and is in constant agony over what she’s done. Unfortunately, suicide does not take in the realm, and every one of her attempts failed, just like her attempts to maim or tie herself up so she wouldn’t be able to hurt people did. She’s horribly alone and despairing, and also in physical agony. She’s at the worst end of what a human can be at as far as emaciation and starvation while still being alive goes, and that’s physically awful. It fucks up your brain chemistry too, and everything is just really fucking miserable all the time. It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe, your breath smells tastes like rotten fruit but in a way that’s so much worth than that can sound. She’s so hungry, her addons are things like dragonfly wings consumed to give her extra stamina. That’s the kind of bare sliver of relief she ever gets. God, poor Lisa’s life is hell. She’s completely heartbroken and isolated and almost dead. As far as relationships go, she didn’t have any for a long time. No one can really interact with her, because she goes feral at the sight of food. She’s kinda utterly alone. But briefly, when Alex, Philip, Vigo, Benedict, and Sally were a group, she kind of got stumbled into, and after a kind of nasty first encounter, was able to regain lucidity around other people, and had a truly sweet and memorable and invaluable bit of time with love and friends and other people. She was kind of in love with Sally, who did her hair for her and was really kind to her, and Sally liked her too. They were close. Lisa was close with all of them. But when things ended the way they did, the Entity took that away. Lisa remembers it, but she could never get them or it back, and was cast aside and left behind until the end of ILM, when she finally got peace and found happiness in finally getting to be at rest in the arms of a friend. Overal, she’s a fairly young and wide-eyed, bright, cautious, fun and sweet girl by nature, now massively traumatized and hopeless and broken, but still with a truly incredible amount of that kind nature retained. She would have really loved reading fantasy novels aloud and exploring the worlds of lore and history, travelling, seeing other cultures and geographic features and animals. Enjoys fashion too, and has a heart for designing and making cool, personal and cultural and symbolic tied designs, and would have been both great at that and loved it if she’d lived long enough. (Shoutout to @artianaiolanthe who inspired the fashion take & it is so suited to her I love it). A little shy, but an extrovert at heart under it, just a nervous one. Loved people. Liked climbing trees and fording brooks and baking bread and throwing rocks and baseballs to knock a target out of a tree and win a prize at little town fairs. Didn’t get the length or quality of life she was owed, and it’s just not fair or okay at all. Liked to watch the stars.

As far as getting better goes, mentally, totally. If they could get her out of the realm or break the Entity’s connection, she’d immediately stop killing. She has never done it of her own free will. She’s a sweet small town kid who was just trying to live her life. As far as physically goes though, Lisa is in one of the worst possible spots. Unlike say Amanda, who was on death’s door but healed by the Entity, or the Legion, who weren’t injured at all, Lisa was on death’s door and like Adiris, did not get healed. Just preserved in that near-death state and forced to work in it. Honestly, it’s possible she could survive long enough to get to a hospital and be saved, but at best, she’d probably live another year. When you starve, your body begins to catabolize/eat your own tissue to save itself, starting with fat, and ending with muscles and organs, which, when it reaches the heart, kills you. Lisa was so close to dead, the organ damage was probably awful, and would leave her with complications that would take her very young. The most likely thing, since she was saved literally seconds before death, would be for her to step outside the realm and immediately die. However, it’s possible she got lucky on body damage and could be saved—kinda up to interpretation—and if say, she was around for Quentin’s Vigil going healing batshit, and got some organs repaired that way, she’d have a real shot. (I also am sad. Lisa was actually the only determinate character in ILM to me/that I wasn’t sure the ending for, and while I am very happy with what ended up being her closure, I also would like to see her live for even more love and peace TuT. Lol, if I ever end up doing my goddamn four fate route fics like I’ve joked now a truly dangerous number of times about doing [>.> me @ me] then maybe she will get a variety of lives in the end). I’m glad you wanted to know! I really like and pity her. This poor kid really did nothing wrong, much like Rin, and just got eternally tortured for asking for help and justice against the monsters who took her life so violently. Fuck Brittany. (Read: the Entity.)

Ahhhh Sally. My sweet, sweet girl. Uhhh, not sure which of the Lisa questions you meant for her too, so I’ll try to speed-answer them all? Sally’s intelligent and understanding and thoughtful, patient, polite, almost elegant despite how impoverished she spent most of her life—she just tries to act like a lady and treat people with as much respect and esteem as she can (unless they suck lol). She’s also very mentally damaged and not there though, and has extremely unstable mood swings, especially into despair. Her relationships with the other killers were limited. She talked to & was on polite terms with any who would talk to her and not be condescending or a dick so openly she’d pick up on it (so like, on cordial terms with Evan, Herman, Caleb if she’d been there that long, but not like, Kenneth or Freddy or someone who wouldn’t bother to put up an act). But mostly, after figuring out she wasn’t really of any use to them, they quit communicating with her. Sally has been extremely isolated since shortly after being taken. She believes that the survivors are innocent and suffering and knows that they don’t deserve the hunt, but has no way to stop the whole system, and has been convinced by the Entity that if she does a good job and earns moris, the ones she strangles to death get to stay dead instead of coming back after death to suffer endlessly again, so she works very dedicatedly and slowly trying to earn kills to save them. It took her physical eyes when it got her and lets her see through it’s powers, and uses that to randomize what survivors look like in her memory so she doesn’t catch wise it’s the same people over and over and she’s not saving them at all. It’s extremely tragic. God it’s one of the most cruel Entity tricks, which is saying a lot. Poor gentle woman is Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill day after day year after year and she doesn’t even know how hopeless and meaningless it all is. : (

When the Vigo-Philip-Alex-Benedict team was going, though, she met and attacked, then was convinced to instead befriend them, and quickly became very attached and well liked by them. Met Lisa while with the group, and became extremely fond of her and loving towards her and was truly, truly happy for a brief period of time. Still remembers her, even as lost as all her memories are. Not her name, but what she looked like to Sally, and how her hair felt, and how nice it was. Sally would have considered everyone in that group a dear friend, and in ILM, Philip most definitely becomes her deepest, closest, and best friend, just like she does to him. She’s a very faithful woman to her soul. Loved her family, loved her husband and mourned him, worked as hard as she could. Cared for her patients, and did her best in that hell until the Entity slowly whittled away at her sanity until it broke her mind and left her convinced the only way to end their pain would be to give them death, and she had to do it to save them. Sally loves little pretty things and neatness and collections. Flowers, bows and ribbons, china and colored glass. She would have treasured gifts like decorative holiday cards and carved animal figures and left them on her mantle or carefully tucked in lovingly organized and decorated books she could open to revisit the memory. Likes dresses and skirts and the way the wind feels. Hopeful and very enduring. Loving. Had a mom heart, and will never really get entirely over the loss of her children, but is strong and kind and will find new love that makes life still worth living in other people. Will remember both kindness and cruelty a long, long time. Loved Quentin from the second he gave her flowers (Dwight: Quentin, why did the entity let you have three moms? Quentin: Because I fucking earned it >:[“ [author’s note: he did. God that poor kid...]). Loved Kate from the day she sat with her in a hospital and held her hand. Is like that. Remembers small kindness and treasures them.

Sally could definitely recover. Not all the way probably, physically or mentally, but by far enough to be complete and happy and realized and who she wants. She never meant to hurt people, so she really just needs some stability, and I think she finds that with her new family. I mean, it is a lot to adjust to. It’s been like nearly 100 years. The Entiry broke her mind, and she’s got some damage that just probably can’t ever be fixed, but a lot can be, with drugs and treatments and therapy and kindness and a good support system, and honestly, the biggest things she needs are people to keep her memories together and herself present, and influences to protect her from being manipulated and controlled now that she’s so suggestible and easy to hurt, and she’s got that. I am 100% certain that while some things—the scatteredness, the ease of slipping into other moods especially deep sadness, the different way of thinking altogether—never leave her, she gets better in the most important ways and is truly happy and quite functional and what she wants to be. While there’s no way (yet anyway lol. Cybernetics that good when?) to give her new eyes since the Entity ripped hers out, and she’s blind now, and can’t be changed, her seeing eye dog does a great job for her, and she’s very happy and adjusts well. She has a lot of friends to be her eyes, and learns to lean into what she can do and has a quite fulfilling and blissful life outside the realm in ILM.

Also: thanks for the recs! I’m going on a run soon, and I’ll add those to my iPod and give ‘em a listen if I can. Hope this answered what you wanted to know! ^u^

[paycies]

hello  pretty  peeps  !  i’m  already  so  happy  n  excited  2  be  here  tysm  for  the  warm  welcome 🥺🥰my  name’s  dani  ,  i’m  20  &  i  reside  in  torONTO /  the  6ix  /  best  city  in  da  world  ,  which  puts  me  in  the  est  tz  !  i’m  obsessed  w  machine  gun  kelly  n  that’s  really  all  you  need  to  know  about  me  SJFDSFS .  but  i’m  super  excited  2  be  bringing  my  babyg  paycie  ,  she’s  a  wild card  but  also  a  lil  sunflower  &  all  the  more  info  about  her  is  under  the  cut  +  some  wanted  connections  !  like  this  &  i’ll  slide  in  those  dms  to  plot  bc  i  wanna  plot  w  every  single  one  of  u or  you  can  also  msg  me  on  discord  @𝒎𝒈𝒌'𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒆 .#1958  !!  ♡ ♡ ♡

» • * — ( madison beer , cisfemale , she/her ) . i think i hear righteous by juice wrld coming from apartment 2308. doesn’t paycie miller live there ?? i heard they are a twenty one year old student/model from manhattan ,  nyc , but they’ve been living in the apartments for three years . they come across a bit - reticent and - stubborn , but they also seem like they could be + quixotic and + adroit . whenever i see them , i think of hoop  earrings , graphic  tees  &  red roses . oh , and don’t forget to follow them on instagram at @payciem !  

*  𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑠  .

full  name  :  paycie  anne  miller .

age  :  twenty  -  one .

astrological  chart  :  libra  sun  ,  aquarius  moon  ,  leo  rising .

hometown  :  manhattan  ,  new  york  .

sexual  orientation  :  pansexual .

character  inspo  :  lexie  grey  (  grey’s  anatomy  )  ,  brooke  davis  (  one  tree  hill  )  ,  moe  (  lemonade  mouth  )  ,  mariana  adams  foster  (  the  fosters  )  .

*  𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦  &  𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡  (  death  tw  ) .

ok here we go

paycie was born an only child to the most loving parents

born and raised here in manhattan

her mom was an aspiring model when she met paycie’s rockstar father

they got married only after knowing eachother for a few months , but they were so deeply in love it didn’t even matter

they had paycie about a year after being married

and they couldn’t have been happier to have a lil girl!!

her mom and her were two peas in a pod growing up , her dad would always find them playing dress up together ,  doing  eachother’s makeup , etc

they acted much more like best friends than like a mom/daughter , but there was never a problem w it

paycie was a very well behaved child , always having a soft demeanour even from the very beginning

so ya growing up was great for her , her dad’s career was at it’s peak , her mom stayed home to take care of paycie , so she always had her mom around , she ended up in private school that she enjoyed , made lots of friends & couldn’t have wished for anything in life

( death & car accident tw ) fast forward , paycie’s now 17 , while her dad’s away on tour  ,  her mom dies suddenly in a car accident . this was by far the worst day of paycie’s life , she never in a million  years  imagined that her mom would be taken from her , and with absolutely no warning

her best friend in the whole world was gone and she had no idea how to move on from that

obviously her dad’s tour was cancelled & the tabloids went crazy with the story

the two of them struggled to get any privacy  , paparazzi always waiting outside their house , etc sstuff like that

it was horrible n they hated it

but paycie quickly fell into a depression, stopped going to school , BARELY made it through her senior year but by some miracle she did end up graduating ( she didn’t attend however )

( anxiety tw ) she had to go on medication for depression & anxiety during this time as well , as she was struggling w panic attacks and such and still does sometimes to this day

her dad’s career diminished because he too was lost without her to work , & he wanted to stay home 24/7 to take care of paycie

it took a long time for the two of them to be able to figure out how to continue living life , but they did it together & as a united front

paycie and her father’s relationship continued to grow much stronger after her mom’s death , obviously both of them needing eachother to lean on

fast forward abt a year or two paycie decides she wants to go to college to study fashion , something her mom always loved & got paycie interested in

she’s taking a few music courses as well 

so now she’s here living in her lil apartment that she adores and trying to live a simple life .

she really hadn’t been interested in being in the spotlight like her dad was , although her instagram following is what allowed her to gain modelling gigs after she turned 18 , being able to book a few big ones , to get money to help pay her tuition and other expenses 

she enjoys it a lot but at the same time lowkey hates the idea of being famous , after how the media had such a big affect on her w her mother’s death

so she’s conflicted and tries to focus on school most of the time

*  𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦  &  ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠  . 

paycie is a very kind and gentle soul

she’s quiet and tends to keep her thoughts to herself , when she’s around people she doesn’t know well

don’t get me wrong she can converse very well , but when it comes to meaningful conversations , you’ll only get that out of her if she completely trusts you

ummm she wears her heart on her sleeve tho and dreams of an epic love like her parents had although she gets scared of being hurt the way her dad was

which stops her from forming attachments easily

but at the same time her heart is so huge she can quickly form a soft spot for people once she gets to know them

if you’re her friend she will literally go to the ends of the earth for u , she will do anything for the people she cares about

she’s always experimenting w different outfits !

but she also loves hanging out in a hoodie and sweatpants w her hair in a messy ass bun , it’s her fave

on the weekend you’ll likely find her watching friends for the 100000 time in her apartment w a box of donuts 

she does love to have fun and go out and get drunk w her girls and dance all night yk , 21 year old stuff <3

i’m still developing her always but yAH .

* 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠  .

i want all da connections pls so like if u have anything ur dying for lmk & paycie can fill it  !  i also have my own wanted connections  HERE  , so  pls  come  plot  w  me  hehe  ♡

& ty for reading this whole ass mess , ily  !

[morethanithoughtofficialblog]

Chapter 8: I’m a simple human, nothing more than that.

In which you almost cried in a friend’s house

*Your POV*

I had to go to the doctor to see if my injury wasn't anything serious.

Turns out it was.

He had to put twenty-five stitches on my fingers. Obviously not twenty-five on each of them, of course not. They were twenty-five in total...

Wow, you are such an idiot. Who the fuck punches a mirror?! You'll probably feel worse than before...

And that was true.

The doctor recommended me to avoid any activities involving my fingers. That practically is avoiding any activity at all. But I, being the stubborn woman I am, won't listen to this suggestion he made, although it sounded more like an order. Still, I can't quit my job just because I did something stupid.

So I arrived at my messy apartment, angrier with myself than before. I felt like trash. But, after seeing the pleased and happy faces of all those people, I feel like I can't give up. So I'll continue living...

For now, of course.

I changed into my pajamas and sat on the couch. I surely don't want to go to my room yet, remembering what happened yesterday. Or today. Whatever.

When I was scrolling through the channels my phone buzzed, and I took it without hesitation. I watched TV a bit before checking the notification but I got bored and decided to see it.

Sans: hey

Sans: can i ask u something???

Well, that was new. Sans had never messaged me before; or well, at least not in private. After all, he did say a few jokes and puns to me especially, but only in the chat group with everyone else.

You: Go ahead

I silently prayed for it to don't be something related to my past or my backstory. It's really complicated and hurtful to explain; maybe it wouldn't make me cry, but it would definitely make me uncomfortable.  

Please, not about me. Please, not about me. Please, not about me. Please, not about me.  Please, not about me.  Please, not about me.  Please, not about me.  Please, not about me.

Please, not about me-

Sans: i noticed an injury on ur right fingers today

Sans: wanted to make sure what happened

...phew.

Still, I couldn't just tell this guy that I punched a freaking mirror. He would probably block me and stare at my soul whenever we would meet. And it was for a fact that I will see him more, so...

You: Oh, about that...

You: It was an accident

Wow, that didn't look suspicious at all.

Sans: really?

You: Yeah, pretty much me being stupid

At least you didn't lie this time.

Sans: oh

Sans: it wasn't somethin' serious, tho?

You: A bit

Sans: stitches?

Wait, why does he know about stitches? He doesn't even need them!

You: Actually, yes

Why did you say that?! You are supposed to keep it a secret!

...

Even if he was going to find out anyway...

Sans: oh shit

Sans: how many?

Well, it's not like it's there any point in lying...

You: Twenty-five

Sans: jesus, what did u do?

Sans: r u ok now, tho?

You: Pretty much

Sans: well, that's good, kiddo

I'm fucking twenty-

Sans: welp, that's all i wanted to know

Sans: srry if i bothered ya

You: Nonsense!

You: That's actually really nice of you!

You: I mean, to actually care enough to ask

Sans: eh, it's nothin'

Sans: i was goin' to ask ya there, but thought it would be better in...

Sans: private?

You: I understand; talking about someone's injuries it's not that great of a topic.

You: It would have been catastrophic if Mrs. Dreemurr or Mrs. Arial knew

Sans: yeah

Sans: welp

Sans: i should go by now

You: I bet

You: Have a good night, Sans

Sans: you too, (l/n)

It was quite a conversation, I must say. I mean; Sans called me by my last name at the end, which it's weirdly formal. And, out of all the people, he was the one who asked. Maybe he was the only one that noticed something odd on my hand, but I highly doubt it. It was visibly out of place.

Or well.

At least for a human.

It's hard to remember that we don't have the same problems, physically talking. Some of the monsters that confuse me the most are the skeletons and the fish-like. How could skeletons feel anything at all? One day I heard Arial complaining about how hot the day was, and that's... weird. How Undyne can breathe? She's out of the water! Unless she has lungs...

But wait- skeletons don't have lungs...

This is confusing as fuck.

How could Sans have noticed something odd to my hand, though? It's either he had seen it before on Frisk, or he actually researches a lot about humans. That would be weird as well. I mean, it would be like he had a human fetish. And that's scary.

I'm making him sound like he's a fucking rapist.

I felt shivers down my spine and quickly shook my head. It was disturbing to think like that, to say the least. I don't think someone like Sans could have such a guilty pleasure.

But maybe he's just like me.

I mean- not as a fetish! But more like... curiosity. After all, I do have my doubts about monsters. I just made some five minutes ago. So he has all the right to know about humans as I do about monsters. Or maybe we don't. But hey, how a freak can judge another?

...

Did I just call Sans a freak? I barely know the guy, for God's sake!

I felt worse, naturally. I would apologize to him, but he doesn't know that I called him a freak. He doesn't need to know, either.

As much as I wanted to avoid it, I had to enter my bedroom eventually. This night, though, I decided to take a sleeping pill. And just like that, I was knocked out on my bed, forgetting that my daily dose should be a quarter of a pill.

Good thing I have an alarm, or else I would have been on dreamland forever. Well, I don't remember what I dreamed, but that's not the point. The thing is that I have work to do, so I can't sleep all day.

And so I got ready and went to work, taking the subway like every day. And, for my surprise, I saw a family of monsters hanging out on the subway station. I smiled, knowing that now they can take public services.

I arrived and went straight for a cup of coffee and a mini donut. Miracle there was any food to eat with the coffee; good thing they actually had coffee and not water. I need my drug to start the day. Always.

Such a coincidence I was listening to that song: 'Always' by Bon Jovi. Such a nice and romantic ballad, cheesy and totally different from what I use to hear. But hey, whenever it's a rock classic, I have a reason to listen to it. Especially if it is a ballad of Bon Jovi. They are just unique.

Fun thing: I was listening also to a song called 'Unique', by Lenka. It's not a classic; it isn't even Rock N' Roll, but I like the calm and cheery tone it has. The lyrics have a direct and almost literal meaning, and it's really positive.

The group of monsters arrived, then we headed out of the building.

Yep.

Work wasn't in my office.  

Everyone took their money and belongings with them. We went to a near bank and I made all the changes in their currency to make them dollars. We had agreed that every 'Gold' would be a dollar. 1 for 1. (I remembered a song again. I shouldn't be talking about my whole playlist)

They ended up with a good amount of money. Well, a lot. Some of them had sold their houses in the Underground, so they had even more money. Now, who bought their houses? God knows- that's the answer.

So some of them bought a house. Like, today. This totally surprised me, considering how much time I spent searching for a new place to live, that it's a small apartment. And now they have houses. HOUSES, FOR GOD'S SAKE!

Calm the fuck down, (Y/N) (L/N).

...(L/N).

That kinda reminded me about my conversation with Sans. I glanced down at him and saw that he was talking to an excited Papyrus.

"You look happy" I bluntly said, facing towards him. I froze but quickly relaxed, watching his smile growing bigger.

"aren't i always happy?" he answered, winking an... "eye".

"I mean, for real" I muttered, but I was conscious that he heard me since he stared at me in shock "Shit, I'm sorr-"

"you could say i feel happier. i, after a long time, have a bit of hope about the future-"

"YES HUMAN!" Papyrus shouted, smiling excitingly "SANS HAS BEEN DOING GREAT! HE'S BEEN WAY MORE POSITIVE SINCE YOU SHOWED UP, AND THAT'S A HUGE PROGRESS!"

He isn't that positive, huh? We may be really similar, then.

I could see why he was more positive, though; he got a house for his family, and that feeling is simply amazing. Well... I suppose it must be incredible. I haven't bought a familiar house, but when I got the keys to my apartment, it sure felt great. It must feel similar, if not better.

But he was eager about something else as well, noticing the look he gave to a bookstore. That really caught me off guard, not seeing him as the type to read a lot. Maybe I shouldn't be judging the poor guy just yet. He seems nice to this point, and that's it.

We finished our journey at the new and huge house of the Dreemurr family, everyone feeling like little kids. And with everyone, I include myself. I honestly forgot my problems for a bit and I was hoping to see how these guys reached their dreams eventually.

It's just a matter of time.

"How about if you stay as well, (Y/N)?" Frisk asked with a smile, snapping me back at reality. Wait, WHAT?!

"S-stay?!" I asked amazed, not believing what my ears were hearing. Why would they want me to stay?!

"YEAH! WE WILL HAVE A HUGE SLEEPOVER IN WHICH EVERYONE WILL PARTICIPATE!" Papyrus exclaimed, eyeing Sans and Dr. Gaster there for a second.

"Uh... I don't know..." I started, trying to dismiss the topic. And as expected, I failed.

"it's really late now, kiddo. from what you have told me, it's not good to leave at this time. less if you're a girl" Sans cleverly argued, using my words of that telephonic conversation.

Goddang it, Sans.

"...are you sure?"

"totally"

"Well, if you really want me here..."

Everyone smiled, even that freaking flower (though I bet he won't admit it). I felt a nostalgic wave hit me, but I hold the tears.

You can always cry at night, (Y/N)...

Except that tonight you can't, if you plan to stay.

Shit. If I had grabbed along my pills, it would have been easier. Hopefully, this so-called sleepover would last until morning. Maybe then I'll pass out.

That means no coffee, though.

Shit.

However, it wasn't as bad as I thought. All of them were super nice, and even shy Napstablook opened up once in a while. I felt really welcomed by most of them, making jokes and thanking me for what I've done.

Even if it was really nothing.

"So (Y/N)..." The sassy robot asked, making a fake hum of curiosity... that makes me feel curious as well. "How is your love life, darling?"

I don't think I should tell this guy I'm lonely as fuck...

"Pretty much dead, honestly" I simply answered, trying not to get into details.

"Oh. Did a bastard just left you?"

I don't think I should tell this guy I've always been lonely as fuck.

"Eh... sure"

"That didn't sound too believable, (Y/N)!" Frisk pouted, getting into the conversation without anyone minding her opinion.

...that was rude.

"YES HUMAN! YOU DIDN'T SOUND TOO CONVINCING!" Papyrus exclaimed, making my heart skip a beat for a second at how loud his voice is. I need to get used to this. "...OR DO YOU RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT IT?"

It would have been useless if I lied, knowing how little experienced I am about the topic. They would find out sooner or later that I was a fat ass liar, just trying to fit in and failing miserably. So instead of taking that risk, I decided to take another.

"Actually... my love life has always been dead..."

Mettaton almost choked in the glass of... an unknown drink he was... drinking?

How does he fucking drink, though?

"Darling, what the hell?!" He exclaimed with a remarkable tone of indignity in his voice, gaining the attention of the others in the room... who weren't paying attention before. Oh my god, why?! "We need to get you a date! Like, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Eh... what about no?" I answered, trying my best to escape. And, as expected...

I failed.

"WHAT ABOUT YESSSSSS??????????????????????????" He snapped back annoyingly, making me feel like the stupidest person on Earth. Maybe I would have really lied if I knew he would be like this about my non-existent love life.

"Me-mettaton" Alphys intervened, with an instant look of regret after spitting out that word. Please save me. "I do-don't think you should judge her that easily. I mean, everyone has their reasons. I bet she does as well"

"...fine!" He sassily exclaimed, faking their annoyance "Just don't say that I, an expert in love lives, didn't try to help!"

ohmygodthankyou

"...sure thing, Mettaton" I sighed, mostly in relief "Sure thing"

And so the night continued, not without me being able to avoid all their questions. I was okay with telling them about the surface, but my life... now that's another thing. People say I should be proud of what I've done, either in school and work, but it's hard for me to see it that way. And so my pride is substituted by doubts and insecurity, feeling not good enough. Because maybe if I tell them too much about me, they would not like me anymore (if they ever did, in the first place). And even if it's really selfish, I enjoyed their company more than anything in ages.

And I didn't want it to stop.

My time there was pleasant until it was 1 am. Frisk and Papyrus were seemingly tired, and Sans added that "his brother would get cranky without his bed story" or something like that. I felt a rush of panic hit me like a brick, realizing that it would be impossible for me to sleep at this hour.

And knowing that I couldn't do my nightly shenanigans made me feel worse.

Panic, then, was starting to get mixed up with anxiety, while the others were discussing who should get the couch-

wait a minute.

"Uh... I can sleep on the couch if you want me to" I interrupted, hoping that this would be a good idea.

A lot of the people arguing told me countless times I shouldn't take the couch since I was "the guest", but my insistence and my insecurities were way stronger than all of their goodwill combined.

Or maybe not, but the point is that I won.

Everyone went to sleep, some of them even hugged me before leading to their temporary rooms. I smiled, feeling happy...

Wow. Never thought I would use that word again.

Don't get me wrong, my life it's not that shitty. I mean, if we get ourselves more reasonable, at least I'm not in the middle of nothing dying from starvation and from having a fucked-up mind. That's something I should really feel thankful for, except for that last part, since my mind it's actually a huge mess.

Still, I can't consider myself being happy. Or more like... satisfied? Yeah, that must be. I've always been exigent with myself, feeling the pressure of keeping people's expectations high. I don't want to fail them. I don't want them to see me how I see myself. That's why I smile, I laugh and even cry when I don't want to.

To feel more human.

To feel sane.

To keep moving on.

Because I know that other people might need my help in, well, anything! I just can't give up if people in worse situations haven't. That would just make me look and feel worse.

But it's really worth living just for the others and not for myself?

I mean, it's not like I'm completely selfless. I consider myself really selfish at some points. Because I also do things to keep myself sane, to keep myself out of trouble, and hell, to even keep myself out from the death list.

I'm scared of death, no doubt about it. I'm scared of letting go before I find someone that truly cares about me...

...maybe I should listen to Mettaton. But a broken heart would be unbearable to me. Falling in love is a risk I can't take, less if I'm in this state.

I mean, look at me! I've been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and a high fucking IQ which I'm not proud of at all! I question reality often, I doubt how capable I am to do even the simplest of tasks, and I can't even establish a normal conversation without freaking out! I sometimes even ask myself if I don't have schizophrenia, for God's sake!

My mind went blank when I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. That warm and familiar feeling made me want to scream and punch a fucking mirror again. I contained myself, though, when I see in the darkness the green couch I was laying on.

I couldn't make them worry about me.

I just couldn't.

And so I softly removed the tears from my face and shut my eyes, not before noticing a blanket that, as far as I could remember, I never grabbed...

[homestucky]

ok ok this is like not anything new but still since i havent been on here i havent fully ranted about this yet. big long rant incoming

re the epilogue (spoilers etc)

ok. i have onl y read meat. but fucking? dirk? dirk? ok? dirk??

no.

i am aware of what happens in candy. i know he dies.

i also know in the version i read, in meat, he becomes his ultimate self, all versions of dirk. as many people have said, this includes AR, this includes bro, this includes even to some degree, LE. its an interesting idea ill give you that. but its also.... shitty and not backed enough by well, anything?

so heres my personal rant about the shitty things in Meat.

when i first finished it i couldnt help but think. was the dirk narrative even necessary? on the one hand it was meant to be the MAIN PLOT and it defined the narration etc, but.... it honestly didnt seem to have any importance. i know it was likely  a set up to imply future stuff like making the next sburb or whatever but like

who CARES? why on earth would that be interesting or important? maybe im crazy but like, the ‘b plot’ which was mostly about character relationships and jobs in earth c, was compelling and enjoyable. the narrative with john ‘not important and not the main character anymore’ egbert had details and conclusions ACTUALLY RELATING TO HOMESTUCK, THE COMIC I LIKE AND WANTED TO READ AN EPILOGUE FOR. it was tragic and frankly very upsetting! im not saying i liked it!! but the tragedy felt compelling and significant. 

i appreciate that dirk as narrator IS BIASED so him saying that these narratives are less important is inherently like. not to be trusted but. just. i cant help but feel like you could have cut the whole ‘main dirk reality affecting’ narrative OUT 

and that seems to me maybe like... not good? if such a central part of your narrative has almost no bearing on homestuck or anything anyone cares about?

but im sure there are other people who found it compelling and necessary. thats fair. cant relate but you do you. there are other issues. 

me saying that the dirk narrative felt weirdly isolated and insignificant sounds pretty weird given that it put jade into a coma, manipulated kanayas mind, effectively killed rose and destroyed rosemary right? WELL that brings me on to the next thing. people have noted that meat barely passes the bechdel test. and hey, sometimes things like that can just be a coincidence or unlucky. but the repeated erasure of the female characters minds, motives, identities and autonomy was????  a little too consistent to dismiss. like ok terezi was still her dope self in a lot of ways. jane kinda did some stuff (under dirks direction, and only shitty stuff but . whatever). 

(sidebar: ofc it doesnt make sense to talk about calliope and roxy in the context of the female characters in Meat but either way they were very in the background. like cool an all, and i always love roxy. and i respect they were mostly just minding their own businesses??? which is fair)

 i just. urgh. homestuck has such a genuinely good track record of giving female characters genuine motivations and powerful abilities etc. the fact that almost ALL the female characters involved were working for or manipulated by DIRK. DIRK of all people. is like... is this even based off the real comic? idgi????

roses loss of autonomy.... rose is such an important character. and she goes along with everything dirk says because dirk is suddenly all OP and ‘theyre basically the same person anyway’ like i get that there was some magic bullshit going on or whatever but at the end of the day rose was still written as weak and passive. dirk as strong and skilled and decisive. i get the undertones.. hes a prince of heart. a destroyer of souls, and identities. he messed with kanayas identity , destroyed roses, repeatedly ignored roxys and calliopes, and god i wont even get started on jake yet. but that doesnt make it satisfying to read. or even really feasible.

so theres a possibility im missing something. but im confused about WHY dirk is allowed this power. in the narrative its waved off as a kind of ‘i guess because im like a prince of heart or whatever and im just super good at managing identities and being a strong boy’ like ok if theres some implication somewhere that that is MEANT to be a bogus explanation id be interested to know because it sounds pretty goddamn bogus. why would this happen to dirk? why? literally? one reason? one that makes sense? because there arent any i can think of. why, in the new universe, would dirk, a prince of heart, manifest into a narrative controlling supergod. and fucking WHEN has dirk showed any actual capabilities in this area before?? he KINDA sucked at it in the game. dirks an idiot! hes smart and capable in like, some ways but. its like

why is dirk so powerful suddenly -> its because hes become super ultimate dirk -> ... ok why -> uh because like. hes just so naturally inclined towards being a great manipulator yknow..... canonically.... uhhhh

it just. canon dirk to epilogue dirk is the most ridiculous leap character wise, skill wise, arc wise, personality wise, with minimal reasonable explanation. 

which brings me on to the next thing. so i roasted dirk and said he wasnt strong enough to be able to manipulate things this well. well, obviously through some other means dirk HAS been afforded this power. but what about his personality? its obviously gonna be warped with self importance and knowing how things ‘have to be’. but hes heartless, cruel and hateful. in some ways it seems like canon dirk levels of ruthlessness, especially when it shows that he is actually doing something dumb and petty like his treatment of jake. that shows that he STILL has emotional connection to people as dirk. he also seems to care about some people, like dave and roxy, and cracks jokes and wants to have ‘fun’. this makes the ways in which hes so warped and cruel seem even worse. maybe on the one hand im giving dirk too much credit, everyone knows he has the potential to be a real bastard. but i dont think that was the trajectory he was on when we last saw him. and if this is truly due to him just.. becoming other versions of himself too including LE and bro and stuff..like. i dont see how it could have gotten that bad without say, roxy or dave noticing. 

‘oh they didnt notice because hes just so good at hiding’ why on earth would i believe that!! dave especially this is kinda insulting for. dave is shown to have an almost supernatural ability to detect danger. partially this might be timeline stuff, knight stuff, but also notably im sure his upbringing is involved too. he was trained to be hypervigilant. who was he trained to be hypervigilant for? bro. bros manipulation and traps. near the end of the epilogue we show that dave IS capable of detecting the mindfuckery thats happening. how would that not set off 1 million alarm bells? theres literally apparently a twisted dirk-bro mutant INSIDE HIS HEAD telling him what to do. i just. know that scene was played for comedy and romance but at the very least thats gotta like???? mess with u if ur traumatised? and thats like , why i think dave should have had an inkling abt what was going on!! this is exactly the thing he hates and fears and was traumatised by! and it just going under his nose n him not even knowing , and still pretty recently being all buddy buddy with dirk seems just stupid and infeasible to me. maybe this is me being naive or kind of a stretch but i just feel like daves danger instincts would have been kicking up a whole assed ruckus that whole time. 

also kind of unrelated but i associate sunglasses with strider style toxic masculinity and hiding things so like. ok transitioning or changing gender presentation is one thing but roxy apparently permanently wearing sunglasses makes me NERVOUS

and ill probably wrap up this mighty rant soon but i wanna also say jake was done so fucking dirty. i know he was like, meant to be, because for some reason god dirk just hated him? like ok petty much. but. urgh jake is such an interesting character with a lot of potential and while i appreciate that him being manipulated by someone who may reasonably have a problem with him may make him do stupid and embarrassing stuff, all the narrative seems to have taken a backward step in how hes represented. jake isnt stupid, dirk clearly knew this in canon and he maybe was the only one even including jake. and there was some acknowledgement of this near the beginning of the epilogue. but then for some reason it goes back on itself. everyone still thinks jake is just completely stupid, including the embittered superdirk. so yeah i guess hes upset with jake or whatever but. its still dissatisfying to be like oh yeah jake isnt stupid he actually has a complex set of motivations and potential etc BUT over the X number of yrs on earth c no one else has realised this yet?? hmm. then his narrative is just gonna end up with him being a total joke and essentially becomes as stupid and incompetent as his worst critics say he is. feasible given the mind control ? yeah. enjoyable to read or having any kind of satisfying bearing on anything? nope!

so anyway. i feel like any criticism i have could be argued back with ‘but oh it has to be this way’ or ‘mind control!!’ or ‘not everything has to be nice and happy !!’ but like. dude. there are flaws. many of them. and seeing characters just get shat on is never gonna be good writing. 

[patrineptn]

Proud of Your Boy (01/03)

Discord Prompt Wednesday, April 25, 2018 Prompt Word(s): Bloom/Rain

Summary: Yoosung has never been so poorly active in RFA chat or so diligent in his studies since he started college. The RFA members, however, didn’t know there was nothing to worry about.

Also available here and here.

Yoosung woke up with the buzzing of his phone. It was Saturday and his alarm was off, which mean either someone was calling him or he lost the track of time. With half-open eyes, he picked the device from the table and brought it close to his face. His finals ended just the day before and he was in a much-needed sleep.

Several missed calls, most of them coming from Zen and Seven, the last one just a minute ago. He scratched his eyes, trying to wake up enough to remember how to read Korean. Quietly, he left his bed and headed to the bathroom.

Yoosung washed his face, the cold water shaking away the remains of sleep. He read the chat history from the past days. He hadn't been much active lately, his finals came and he had a very good reason to not fail them. He barely got the necessary grades, but he made it. Yawning, he saw that Saeyoung - even half a year later, he still struggled to use the former hacker's real name, not his alias - and Zen were online.

He joined the chat before they ended up knocking on his door.

~Yoosung has joined the chat.~

Saeyoung: YOOSUNG!

Saeyoung: You

Saeyoung: are

Saeyoung: ALIVE!

ZEN: What the hell happened to you?

ZEN: I didn't see you online in the whole week,

ZEN: and you didn't pick up calls.

Yoosung: I was studying for finals.

Yoosung: My phone died.

Yoosung: I only realised it before going to bed last night.

Saeyoung: R u ok?

Saeyoung: First u stopped LOLOL.

Saeyoung: Now ur taking ur studies srsly.

Saeyoung: Ur a surrogate!

Saeyoung: Where's the real Yoosung?!

Yoosung: is it so hard to believe-

Yoosung: that I am really studying?!

ZEN: Yes! Lmao

Yoosung: I didn't get a scholarship for nothing, y'know?

ZEN: a month ago you weren't even sleeping to get some super rare helmet

ZEN: now you don't even pick up your phone

ZEN: because you were studying?!

ZEN: if it's a joke, it's not a funny one

Yoosung huffed. If only they knew. He flushed the toilet and washed his hands, peeking at his bed while he dried them in a towel. They wouldn't know what hit them.

It happened before his midterms. After pulling another all-nighter playing LOLOL, he skipped all the morning classes. When he woke up, it was past two and he decided on skipping the rest of the day. He used that time to do the dishes, sweep the floor, clean the bathroom, change his bedding; things he usually ignored but had the urge to do that day. Unconsciously, his mind told him to get the house ready for the surprise visitor.

Around the time he would be getting home, the bell rang. At first, Yoosung ignored it, not used to his own bell ringing, his guests never came without previous notice. The last time someone showed up suddenly, it was his mother and, as much as he missed her, more than ever he valued his privacy. When the bell rang for the second time, he answered the door.

There was a girl - a pretty girl with blue eyes and soft features - outside his apartment. He forced his brain to remember where he knew her from. The worn-out yellow backpack was a giveaway.

"Higu… re?" he tried.

"Higurashi." He failed. "You didn't show up today."

Yoosung looked away. He was caught. Someone noticed his absence. Should be so happy about it? "How can I help you, Higurashi…"

"Kagome. Higurashi Kagome. And the question here is how can I help you, Kim?" Yoosung hated when someone called him by his last name. His father was Mr Kim. He was only Yoosung. "Why are you avoiding me? You ignored my friend request and my message request in Fakebook and didn't give me a second glance in the times I tried to talk to you in the past couple days!"

"I hadn't checked my Fakebook in months and I don't remember you trying to reach me in school at all."

He should have chosen better words.

"Am I that invisible? We've been sharing classes for three semesters and you don't even know who I am. Do you?" He didn't. She lowered her gaze, sighing. "Whatever. I knew it would be a waste of time. See you around, Kim. Try coming to school every once in a while for a change."

Yoosung bit his lip. Was he really doing that to people? Ignoring them without even realizing it? Wasn't he the one who said once that just greeting his neighbours made him feel a part of a community? Why was he pushing away someone who came all the way to his house without even knowing the reason behind it?

"Hey, Higurashi!" She turned. "Why did you come here?"

"Why did I-" She frowned. "The history report? Professor Lee assigned us the chapters six to twelve."

"Is it a group project?" She nodded. "And we are in the same group?"

"We are the group. It is supposed to be done in pairs."

"Why didn't you choose someone else?"

"No one chose me."

That's how Yoosung met the one who would occupy his mind and heart soon.

Sometimes Yoosung wondered how could Zen fall so quickly for someone. Everyone, Jaehee in special, noticed how drawn to MC Zen was barely a day after she mysteriously joined RFA chat - not so mysteriously now that they knew the true identity of Unknown. In less than a week, the actor was head over heels without even meeting MC face-to-face. Now he understood.

It took Yoosung five days to understand the perfect woman shared classes with him for nearly two years.

Kagome was fierce. And somewhat scaring. She didn't let him slack off on their project, but she was fair when assigning duties. She lived in the dorms and wasn't allowed to have guests in her room, therefore, she basically camped at his place every night until they finished the fifty pages report - they started a week late, after all.

In these days, Yoosung met her many faces. The sweet and cheerful Kagome was the most lovable human he ever met. There was sincerity when she asked about his day, not like others whom would say it just to be polite. She also worried about his grades - it made him pay more attention to his classes, if only for her peace of mind.

The serious Kagome sent chills down his spine. She had no qualms in bossing him around and maybe, just a little bit, Yoosung liked it more than he should.

Stressed Kagome also meant 'leave-me-alone Kagome' and he respected her space whenever that particular vein popped on her neck. A cup of latte coffee usually helped to bring back serious Kagome.

Like that, Yoosung felt empty when he clicked send to submit their report. He looked at Kagome sitting on his bed, finishing the now cold green tea he prepared while sorting her notes and books. He didn't want to see her only in classes, he wanted to hang out without the burden of the schoolwork on their backs.

Should he ask her out? Was it the right time to do it? Was he prepared for rejection? Would he be able to brush it off and stay as friends if she broke his heart?

"Ne, Yoosung-kun," her Japanese slipped whenever she was nervous, "do-do you like superhero movies?" Her face was red as a tomato and her accent was strong than ever. She looked at everywhere but him. "There's this new Revengers movie coming out this week…"

A 'date' turned into two, then three perfect 'dates'. In the fourth, he gathered his courage to hold her hand in public. In the fifth, Yoosung got his first kiss, an unforgettable goodnight kiss under the rain on her doorstep. Yoosung walked on cloud nine, throwing smiles everywhere and to everyone. He wanted the world to know his life complete now, that Kagome filled him with happiness. However, things were never at beginner difficulty for him.

It was a rainy afternoon that created the perfect atmosphere for a snuggling-under-blankets-while-watching-a-movie day. Deep down - and he was too embarrassed to admit it, even to himself - Yoosung hoped for a Netflix-and-chill day. When she wiggled her butt and cuddled against him, her body moulded against his and he had to think of Saeyoung in a fairy costume to not make a fool of himself.

He barely paid attention to the screen. Kagome's shirt lifted when she snuggled on him, giving Yoosung access to her stomach. He felt her smooth skin, her navel and ribs. She shivered when his thumb brushed her breast by accident. Yoosung held his breath.

Yoosung almost fell from the bed when his phone buzzed. It was a message from Jaehee inviting him to a dinner with the rest of the RFA. It was the perfect chance to introduce Kagome to them.

"Where do we stand?"

Yoosung's mind short-circuited. He wasn't expecting the question. The silence that followed her statement was only broken by the raindrops hitting his window. Yoosung needed a full minute to reply.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

Kagome shifted until she faced him. Her cheeks were stained with pink, her glare piercing into his soul.

"What are," Kagome's index finger pointed to herself, then to him, "we? We hang around, go on 'dates'." Emphasis on 'dates'. "Spend some quality time together, but…" She closed her eyes for a second. "What exactly I am to you?"

"Everything." His mouth said before his brain could stop him from being a hopeless romantic. The flow of words coming from his heart straight to his lips went on. "Everything I ever wanted in a girl. I mean, woman," he corrected once his brain function restarted. The blooming smile on her lips encouraged him. "I know a no-life with terrible academic scores like me isn't good enough to be the boyfriend of the foreign students' council president, but I'm hoping you already gave me a chance."

Kagome's expression shifted from gleeful to concerned. "I can't be your girlfriend. Not right now," she completed, probably seeing the desperation in his eyes and the little bits of his broken heart falling apart. "We have finals in half a month and I'll feel guilty if you don't pass them because you spent too much time with me." That last part she said so low he wasn't sure if it was for his ears or hers.

She saw his grades, he forgot the browser was opened when she borrowed his phone once. Which meant she knew how bad he went in midterms and how big were his chances to fail at least half of his subjects. He never thought his academic life would bring a problem to his love life. He never had a love life to worry about before.

He knew she didn't mean it, but someone in her rank couldn't be with someone below the average. Kagome deserved better, and Yoosung would be better. However, time was needed for him to raise his GPA. There was only one thing he could do immediately.

Yoosung grabbed Kagome's hands, her small fingers secured on his. "If I pass all my exams, will you be my girlfriend? I'll take you on a proper romantic date. We can have dinner, or I can cook for you! I'll look for Oden recipes. And we can go to that karaoke bar we've found the other day, or ice skating, you said you loved Yuri! On Ice."

"You will do that all… for me?"

"For myself, mostly. I want to be someone who you are proud having by your side. Don't look at me like that, it's not about you, Kagome," he removed a strand of hair falling on her face. "Higurashi Kagome, will you be my pre girlfriend?"

For the next days, Yoosung spent more time in the library than at home, going back only to shower and sleep. He borrowed Kagome's notes and used them to guide him through the syllabus. LOLOL? Not even once. He only checked the messenger in the morning and before going to bed. Only one thing broke his concentration.

Kagome stood by his side all the time.

She was his silent companion at the library and the one to make him laugh and break the tension of long hours buried in books. He refused her proposition to tutor him. Nevertheless, he wasn't sure if he would have made it without her moral support.

The last exam finally came and gone. Yoosung found Kagome waiting for him at the cafeteria - she handed the test much earlier than him and certainly did well. His soon-to-be girlfriend looked at him expectantly.

"I don't know…" he said, looking down. Kagome frowned, her eyes full of disbelief. "Dinner or movie first?"

"Baka! I almost had a heart attack!"

"Sorry, sorry!" He threw her backpack over his shoulder and linked their arms, blushing at his own sudden boldness. Kagome didn't seem to mind. "You should have seen your face. You're so cute."

"You'll see who's cute," she murmured. "Anyhow, I was thinking… we could… stay at home today… you know… together." The last part came in a whisper.

Yoosung didn't get it at first. "What about our date?"

Kagome's cheeks burned. "We can enjoy our night… as boyfriend and girlfriend." Her grip on his arm tightened. "If you want…"

Did she even have to ask?

[ravenvsfox]

I know you have already done a lot of the ship posts (and they are all phenomenal and accurate af) but can you pretty please do Jesper and Wylan from six of crows/crooked kingdom? Xoxo

I’m SO sorry this took so long, you’re such an absolute sweetheart and also christ I’ve never been called an inspiration before holy.. god

also heck i love wesper this is a treat

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU… 

who is more likely to hurt the other?

don’t.. do this

they’re genuinely so good neither of them would ever TRY to hurt the other, and they’re both so tender and apologetic if they ever do. I think I’m gonna have to say jesper though just because. he’s still a little stirred by his addiction (to trouble! to bringing two guns to a gun fight! to gambling! to love!) and he’s got some jealousy and sensitivity baked into him, bless him. I feel like he’d run a risk and break Wy’s heart by accident, a little bit

who is emotionally stronger?

a genuine toughie bc they’ve both survived and persevered so MUCH. I think in terms of immediate reactionary instincts, Jes is better at letting bad vibes roll right off of him. He’s made of smiles. He’s trouble and a good time rolled into a waistcoat. If you insult him he only gets stronger. Wy was raised in silk and champagne but he was raised BY an absolute monster so. he’s a very bruised peach. criticism pierces him v easily. Though in a more fundamental way, wylan has fashioned his past trauma into a shield. by the end of ck he’s building himself new emotional strength with his bare hands

who is physically stronger?

ohhh man. They’re both noodle boys. Wylan is too smart for exercise. Jesper does his fighting at a 20 metre distance from his target. Jesper is bigger than wylan but most of his size is gangly and delightful and awkward. I think jes could probably still beat wylan in a pinch, but I’m more caught up in how funny it would be to see them try to fight it out

who is more likely to break a bone? 

man I’m tempted to say jesper just bc he seems like he would be...... brittle. I think he gets into scrapes a lot. I think wylan starts to get into p frequent scrapes by nature of being the sixth crow. I think the both of them are so busy worrying about each other’s fights that they neglect their own and trip off a building or smth

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

I think wylan can be a nasty piece of work when he’s pissed enough. like he may be a silk eared puppy but he’ll chew your shoes and track mud around if you forget to feed him. jesper doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body man, I think he’s a sarcasm queen and a joker but he’s definitely not mean

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

I think jesper’s constantly assuming he did something wrong and he sits down with wylan 100% serious like ‘babe.. im so, so sorry. I never wanted to be the sort of person who made you look sad like that, we’re past that, I truly made a promise--’ and wy would be like ‘what no I was sad bc a screw on my flute is loose and I couldn’t practice today’. but also yeah if it’s a serious fight they make up in a rush, and they laugh at themselves, and they use their energy for something better

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

here’s the thing about the crows man, they’re always sustaining minor injuries as a team and it’s a win if they live, right? All I can picture is the roar of activity when they pull off a job and they come back limping and bleeding and swearing and crowing w joy, and jes and wy take their seats opposite each other and clean wounds, kiss foreheads, smooth back sweaty curls, squeeze hands, make promises. the routine, u kno

who is in constant need of comfort? 

uhhh both of them (it’s always both my guy jot that down). Wylan has 16 years of shitty imposed self loathing to unlearn, and traumatic experiences all over him. jes has lost a lot (including his mom) and he struggles with addiction so like. yeah they both need comfort. they both wake up w the phantom feeling of a mother’s arms around their shoulders. they’ve both seen the very worst of humanity. They’re just two nervy, high stress kids trying to figure things out

who gets more jealous? 

lmao WYLAN VAN ECK did y’all read his scenes in crooked kingdom that boy is NOT SHARING. he glared real holes in kuwei’s head guys. jesper tbh is a terrible flirt and a HANDFUL and wylan is happy. to have his hands full. no one else.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

mmm nahhh

who will propose? 

u bet ur ASS it’ll be jesper. Imagine wylan’s blushing face...... he’d do it for that alone. tbh there’s probably a point in their relationship where jesper’s outrageous flirting isn’t enough to get that pretty blush from wylan like he’ll roll his eyes and shove jes in the shoulder and w/e but they have to have increasingly ridiculous conversations about kinks or w/e until that blush comes out. jesper’s like ‘dang. guess I gotta step up the romance. what’s the most romantic thing? marriage? marrying wylan? son absolutely where do i sign’

who has the most difficult parents?

lmao lm a o lmaooo Lmao LMAO lmao

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

I feel like depending on the social climate of Ketterdam, hand holding might not be on the table?? especially for two criminals associated w the bastard of the barrel like idk man I can’t picture it. they don’t want to draw attention to themselves (well i mean. jes wants to. but they can’t). I think they’re all about sly glances and the most obvious smirks you’ve ever seen, and brushing shoulders!! brushing shoulders are their makeouts

who comes up for the other all the time? 

they’re always together man bf’s that blow shit up together and live together stay together so like they rarely have the opportunity to talk about each other. howEVER jesper probably mentions his boyfriend in the middle of a hand of poker w an inappropriate smile or gushes to w/e prisoner he’s breaking out of jail or makes Kaz’s day weird by trying to confide in him

who hogs the blankets? 

wylan is exhausted w luxury and jesper is a child who wants to be held so he rolls over and then over again so that wy always wakes up to a lapful of boyfriend and a roll of blankets and he has to wait for jesper’s heavy sleeper ass to arise so he can get up to pee 

who gets more sad? 

booooth -- jesper is understated sad with a side of unnerving frowns, wylan is a wobbling mouth and clenched fists. Sometimes they stay in the Wylan Van mansion and lock the doors so the maids can’t come in, and they bring the lavish decorative pillows into a heap on the carpet and feed each other sweets and rub each others backs and laugh and laugh the darkness away. wylan sketches. jesper poses. there’s scheming & kaz impressions. jesper is a storyteller and he imagines out loud what nina or inej are up to at that very minute, controlling gravity and hearts and the sea and their lives 

who is better at cheering the other up? 

see above ^^ they both go pro at the comfort olympics. Jesper is that little bit better though. He’s a sweetheart with all the right words in his pockets. He knows how to chop wylan’s dad down like the overgrown dead tree that he is. he knows how to flirt a smile onto wy’s face. he maybe lacks delicacy sometimes, but he’s so fun and wholehearted and warm that he can’t really go wrong

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

this is canon y’all, jesper is a lecherous bastard and wylan is equal parts disdain and delight. he absolutely will slap a boy

who is more streetwise?

god bless wylan but he knows a hell of a lot less about the streets than jes. He’s learning fast by the end of ck, but he’s still very sheltered in a lot of ways. Jesper has a few years under his belt, and he’s.. like tbh he’s a part of a gang so. He’s seen a lot. He’s participated in a lot. He has a pretty steep list of kills, same as every other survivor out there. He’s detached from the deaths but he’s been on the other side of a lot of bullets that have crumpled people up and thrown them in the trash. He knows his business, too. He knows Ketterdam. Well. Wy knows the half of it Kaz wants him to see.

who is more wise?

Wylan is utterly brilliant and Jesper is wholeheartedly here for it. What was that line again? ‘you’re cuter when you’re smart’? Wylan can think his way out of just about anything, the world belongs to him. jsyk

who’s the shyest? 

Wylan absolutely what a sweetie. I mean a lot of it stems from unfortunate self esteem issues and a history of being burnt but a lot of it is pure soul deep candy sweet embarrassment and not knowing what to do w his own cute face. He doesn’t know how to deal w people a lot of the time. he knows sheet music & formulas. he does not know how to look at a boy with beautiful lips all curled up at him and not pass out

who boasts about the other more? 

jesper is loudmouthed usually and he’s that much more loudmouthed when he’s in love, catch him talking to anyone who will listen about wy’s stupid face 

who sits on who’s lap? 

jesper would definitely try it, don’t even test him, he would fold all his crane limbs into wylan’s lap and say ‘hello peaches’ and wylan would have to slide both of them onto the floor to escape his embarrassment. on a good day, jes’ll scoop wylan into his lap and he’ll feel quiet, for a while

[cnisms]

ok wow... here are some v basic intros for beck, aja, veronika, bella, angel n natalya ! they won’t be super detailed bc... theres fricken 6 of them... some are longer, some are shorter, they are all ugly. but i do know my muses inside out so if u ever want me to expand on anything or fill in any gaps, just lmk. no stat pages for any of them yet, so i’ll list the basics in here. plotting ? yk what to do ! im me or just punch me in the face ! n ofc if theres specific plots u have in mind already just lmk bc as yall know... im always gonna snatch them up anyways (also ONCE AGAIN sorry for never replying to ims, i’m just a lot of foul moods these days n obviously it’s got nothin to do w yall so i wait... aka i get five minutes of peace a week... but i 100% always wanna plot n be friends !!! i WILL reply... eventually...) v brief mentions of miscarriage, drug addiction, neglect, murder n obviously death.

i lied i actually did start this ugli’s stats !! barely, but they’ll be here.

you will never met a bigger nerd than beck ever im tellin u now

had a nice childhood, parents are both scientists n lowkey hippies, v v v smart household. they were always more friendly than parental with him due to the fact that he’s always been (not super mature but) very intellectual.

grew up interested in everything. studied hard n fast. has graduated too many times. thought maybe the goal was to be a lecturer ? couldn’t pick on what tho. ended up staying to hang around his last university and instead tutors literally everyone in literally any subject. if ur muse is studying @ imperial college ? beck is their favourite tutor. srry it’s law !

just a nice guy ? unfortunately doesn’t have very many negative traits to him bc that’s just the way it worked out but he does talk a lot n has trouble effectively communicating anything he hasn’t studied so he may not always appear to be the nicest guy but ? he rlly is just a ugh jesse mccartney vc beautiful soul.

barely getting by bc how much can u charge uni students ? the answer is the minimum. he’s never been super materialistic or anything so it’s not a rude shock to him but his social life suffers (i mean he could find plenty to do himself but he is always rejecting invitations) due to lack of funds.

so boring.. so vanilla..

has to told be told to shut up or he will go for two days n yes it does hurt his feelings xx

megan ajala parekh (goes by aja), 22, cisfemale, panromantic, pansexual, listens to too much usher

was raised between the city n a farm a lil while out of town. had to deal w all of the divorce drama worse than either of her parents. they all cut each other off when she was 16 and she’s fake af making jokes abt it, acting like it was the best decision ever but she wasn’t prepared at all ? she was just couch surfing n surviving on birthday money from her grandparents n she was scared but v “no goin’ back now ig!” about the whole situation/

big mess ! also had no idea what she wanted to do but she was actually a huge flop education wise (no offense gf, me too) n ended up in a government programme n through that she just did whatever was recommended so she ended up in aged care n she loves it !

to be fair she loves everything tho so ? that’s not really sayin much. 

super excitable n ott. is always goin’ head first into everything.

as a result she’s also always exhausted n grumpy. one or the other. she can’t calm herself down n maintain a healthy lifestyle. it just doesn’t work.

lives in a disused hospital bc why not. she’s savin’ up for a nice van... to live in... that’s rlly where she sees herself.

except she’s not really saving up bc she’s the definition of headassery and is spending all her money on fast food and expensive sunglasses n hats that she will lose that same week.

i’m falling asleep but naomi scott is a goddess so whom cares 

veronika erikson, 40, cisfemale, biromantic, bisexual, old as mc’heck so she’s actually got a life for me to talk abt

born in denmark, was scouted at 16, lived between paris and new york after that, had massive success as a model. made money, set trends, still pops up in every other #goals pinterest board and #mood instagram tag. was an entire it girl back in the 90s but ! it was never fulfilling.

literally all she wanted ? her entire life ? was to be a mother ? nothing else ? modelling was a good way for her to make money bc realistically she wouldn’t have been happy doing anything that wasn’t raising her own children but she was never satisfied.

NEVER GOT HER BABIES ! despite marrying very young (she was v keen to start a family but she was also super in love) n immediately gettin into it and giving up her career at 23 to be at her prime health-wise, she had no success. suffered a LOT. the fact that the problem could never be identified was obviously super frustrating n stressed her the frick out ? the miscarriages my dude... she’d been through it n would tell herself not to get her hopes up but it was obviously always worlds worst heartbreak every time.

grew to resent her husband bc tho she knew he wasn’t to blame, she needed to put it on someone. never adopted or looked at other options out of (irrational) fear that she’d have the same kind of feelings towards any children that she didn’t birth herself so ! shit didn’t get better. it literally started 10 yrs ago... and it the negative feelings changed in intensity over n over but they somehow managed to survive 10 years n only recently separated so ! she got rid of everything n moved to london for a fresh start where she now flips houses bc she can ig n it gives her smth to do !

honestly would make the best mother ? she’s aunt to the yates siblings (hey huns) and always did the most for her fricken mini-me imogen. beautiful vodka aunt who brings gifts and gushes about u n is here to gossip but is ready to go off on ur ass if u force her to. won’t go around babying people but... if u give her the chance... 

that... that’s her personality... ideal mom in every way.

separates her private n public life very well but doesn’t share her important thoughts or feelings at all. generally a nice but passive person. 

courtney love tweeting about riverdale vibes.

arabella gomfrey, 23, closeted pan princess (literally a princess (cici is shaking)), sofia coppola’s marie antoinette

the whole gomfrey situation will be developed eventually but for now here is this.

they may not be, but bella is a v affectionate person. is wedged firmly up her entire family’s ass. loves her parents n lets them n everyone else know. rlly thinks they’re right about absolutely everything. will agree to n do anything they say.

will do anything anyone says honestly ? as long as it doesn’t come in conflict with what her parents want for her ? tell her to walk off a building bc it’ll make her parents happy n she’ll sit there stressing and considering it for hours.

won’t think for herself but still manages to be a major fake. only tells u what you want to hear, excessively sweet, will not be the one to deliver bad news ever hell nope she’s paying someone to do that for her. 

v cliquey n judgemental. her inner circle is literally just other pretty rich girls. 

loves the whole situation she was born into n has no shame. milks it. does the most. will throw a tantrum when she doesn’t get what she wants. entitled brat !

idk how but she’s the most catholic person you’ll ever meet ? the pope is jealous.

models bc she knows can do whatever the hell she wants without trying ig. just likes the applause.

angela (angel) rosado, 24, panromantic, pansexual, loves girls, Is Beautiful .

yea rosado as in the resort aha... nbd ... was adopted by the rich old rosados when she was 10 n has lived the good life ever since but before that . it was p ugly.

she was literally left on her neighbour’s doorstep when her parents got evicted from their home when angel was 6 months old ? they took her in but ! they struggled ! so a year later when angel’s mother was pregnant again n sorted herself out for a min n came back to claim her so they could be a family or w/e, the people who had been caring for her were obviously like um we rlly should not trust this bich with a baby but we’re abt to be kicked out ourselves so ... they basically forced this image of angel n her mother n the next baby livin happily ever n let her go.

her mother had another girl n angel loved her even tho she was tiny herself... she was (and still is dw her sister is thriving still) crazy abt this baby. she rlly could not love her sister more. their mother wasn’t clean for long, but their father was much worse. when he died 2 yrs later, she quickly worsened too. she was ill n not fit to parent at all but the girls lived with it for 4 yrs before they were taken away. they were told their mother passed away a few months later but neither ever looked into it.

it did not get any better ? in foster care they were bullied ... so bad. they would sneak off everyday to avoid it n then they got in trouble from their carers for doin that like ig you can’t win ! so they were gonna split the sisters up n angel was so ,,, dependent on her lil sister (n got teased for this bc her sister was literally tuckin her in and singing her to sleep every night as if she was the baby) n was not feelin too good about the situation my dudes !

anyways they snuck off to the library soon after n ig hit up The Google for a solution ? n they accidentally ended up reading some story on wtvr gossip site abt these hotel tycoons adopting for the fifth time. angel’s sister.. literally found rosado resorts’ business email . ASKED THEM TO COME ADOPT HER N ANGEL TOGETHER N TAKE THEM AWAY TO LONDON...

n it worked ? luv a (kinda) happy ending

obviously becoming part of a big, rich, sober family in a different country was weird n difficult once the excitement wore off but they made it work. her sister fit in better than her n their parents saw that ? n they noticed she was p much living off of her sister entirely ... but they were v good abt it, they put a lot of time n effort n love into angel n she grew to be THE daddy’s girl of the bunch. like he was good w all of the kids but they always had their (jealous) memes abt angel being the favourite. everyone grew up n moved on, still all v supportive of eachother. angel ? still living near her parents, checkin’ in everyday, still getting everything she wants handed to her.

doesn’t even pretend she’s effectively dealt w the bad memories of her childhood, just straight up acts like she remembers nothing except for her sister singing her to sleep. remembers everything n struggles with it everyday but that’s her business apparently.

likes to let u know that she knows she’s better than u ? better than everyone ? except maybe her sister n her father. doesn’t even like her other siblings. loves them yea, but she doesn’t like them n always starts drama crying to her parents abt how they don’t like her either.

kinda just a real snob yk what i mean ? she’s lit abt her work and her like.. total of 2 friends but otherwise likes to act real unimpressed all the time. 

u would think w the shit she’s seen she would be an understanding person but nope if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t see it.

her parents bought her .. a gym .. for her 20th bday n she opened a few more in the yrs following that and now has celebrities up on instagram posing in angelfit activewear, pretending to drink her protein shakes, u know the deal. she’s v proud of herself.

UM OK WOW its 8am i’ve been working (slowly) at this whole post for 6hrs now n i just forgot i was keeping these short but i can’t pick which details to remove so u know what ? this one stays meaty. thats it tho i think !

also peep her nameless sister in case anyones lookin for muse ideas in the future :P x

N FINALLY... natalya nikolayevna belyakova, natasha works, 27, demiromantic, demisexual, cute ! dont know if u noticed but she’s russian !

these muses just get more n more extreme as u go down the list o wow n still none of them get a coherent introduction. especially natasha bc ? ok so she was raised by dirty money but ... criminal organisations in moscow ... lets not even get into it. let’s say they were big in weaponry.

anyway ! it was just her, her brother n her father. v close. they were weird, everyone knew this. she had no friends, even when she was living out of home to study. her social life was literally whatever dangerous dinner parties her father invited her to n that was it.

it was never that deep (AKA IT WASNT GROSS LIKE EVERY1 MADE IT OUT TO BE) she's literally just shy n angery pup meme. she’s the pretentious smart girl in every story ever who is like “i hate ppl... books cant stab u in the back” like ok relax who asked NERD but she rlly could not escape her family so might as well love them !

um ig her father had her mother killed when natasha was abt 8 yrs old. apparently she was havin an affair. her brother spilled the beans to her yrs later when he was mad at their father. she wanted to be horrified for a second but thought it would change nothing so there was no point. she rlly stanned her father huh ?

he dead too now rip. while natalya was away studying, every1 in their home... her brother, father, everyone workin’ there ... all ... got killed n then the house was torched quick. she knew business had been gettin uglier but this ugly ? [ mari vc ] ruined her fricken LIFE.

one of her father’s creepy old friends eventually had to let her know what happened n how everyone saw it coming or whatever like ok thanks buddy ! natasha’s rlly sad obviously ? doesn’t last long. now ... she’s mad ! now... She’s pissed.

so she’s come to blame this gang that’s heavy in london. she REALLY drops outta school, comes on over, worms her way into their major rival gang n WAITS. she’s been here . for yrs now . and is yet to do . anything ... despite being obsessed with the idea of revenge. she’s playing the long game and making sure she’s getting all the details right bc she’s like Well this is a suicide mission might as well make it count ! its sad but -.- what are u gonna do ? (rival gang subplot coming soon btw whew!)

keeps her desire for actual bloody revenge to herself bc she doesnt wanna look like she’s gonna cause trouble for anyone when she DEFINITELY IS. she only acts angry enough to have her >.> allies >.> belieb that she’s loyal.

obviously committed . obviously she needs some milk .

not a fun person ? unless u tryna die also. but she’s very put together, v professional, cultivated, charming ig when she wants to be, unfortunately adorable, v organized, um what else ? nothin. that’s that. thanks !

THIS IS SO UGLY I CANT BELIEVE I EMBARRASS MYSELF LIKE THIS BUT U KNOW WHAT ! [ CHRIS TRAEGER VC ] LITERALLY ! A MEMEY INTRO POST IS BETTER THAN NO INTRO POST ! GOOD LUCK WITH UR LIVES ! LOVE U ALL !

[tumblunni]

I finally got yusuke and makoto aaaa I am so happy Goddammit I wanna spend every day hugging the new best party members! But also I kinda wanna punch atlus for getting EVEN WORSE about the homophobia and transphobia seriously Its like every persona gets worse??? Its so fucked up cos persona 2 actually had a canonical gay romance and at the same time p3 and p4 came out we had digital devil saga with its unparalleled respectful portrayal of intersex and nonbinary characters. Like seriously how many writing teams work in the smt crew?? Were the open minded ones all fired midway through the PlayStation 2 era?? WHAT HAPPENED. How can a company even go backwards so much?? God its like... If both things are indeed written by the same groups of people then its like 'hey this game is MORE MAINSTREAM so we'd better throw lgbtq fans under the bus to try and get more popular lol' :p So yeah anyway there's these really friggin 1960s scare campaign level caricatured gay NPCs. They only exist in the red light district cos lol of course, and they only exist to be jokes about how you literally should not ever talk with or make eye contact with gay men because they will rape you. This is the 'funny' ending to the red light district side quest. Ryuji literally just WALKS PAST a gay couple and they suddenly decide to grab and rape him??? And its 'funny'??? Just cos they're drawn as ugly stereotypes and they talk like 'ooo darling u r so naughty always going for the underage straight boys ooo lol we're gonna convert you'. And then your protagonist is given no option but to let ryuji be dragged off and sexually harassed??? He didn't even do anything to 'comically' deserve this 'punishment', its not even funny within it's own narrative! And you just see him again the next day and he's like 'ha ha lol u left me to get raped, what a funny man you are' and its NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN?? just brushed away that he managed to escape them so its no big deal. And then these rapist stereotype NPCs continue to exist in that area forever so I can never be free of them ever time I wanna go to the damn fortune teller shop... Oh and the bartender is also a negative stereotype of trans women, she's drawn in the same cliché 'ugly style' they gave the fat schoolgirl in p4 and she has facial hair and a 'comical' masculine voice. And like.. God... I thought at least she escaped the worst of it cos she never gets any lines of dialogue in this side quest, but now random social links are mentioning her and like SERIOUSLY MISHIMA LEAVE HER ALONE! 'Oh man that interview with that reporter was awful cos the bartender was 'a drag queen' and I felt like 'he' was gonna rape me even though we barely even made eye contact' JUST STOP. GAME, PLEASE STOP. And UUUUUUGH all the 'lol it looks like a gay option but haha it will never be an option' teasing in yusuke's friendship scenes! There's none of that usual 'oh lol ur reading too much into it, he's totally straight' NO THE WRITERS FUCKIN KNOW WHAT THEY DID. You literally have one scene where the two of you get mistaken for a gay couple in the park and the passers by are all 'oh well nowadays people are kinky like that' as if its something lewd, and somehow its meant to be funny??? Its been a huge eye opener to me... I don't even think atlus is intentionally queerbaiting now, I was giving them too much credit to think they were actually trying to appeal to the queer market! I just think all the huge amounts of teasing a gay option is meant to be A JOKE to them. They think that people will laugh their heads off at merely mentioning that gay people exist, and everyone would ~obviously~ be totes grossed out and know that everyone is really straight. Why wouldn't they be! They're so straight that you can say they're gay and its a funny funny joke! Those silly queer folks taking it seriously! Those silly very large portion of our audience! Silly how persona 4 became so popular in that market! Silly how we're so fucking desperate we'll even buy something only vaguely teasing representation in a really insulting way! And silly how I've got so used to it that I'm already feeling like 'oh people will think I'm not a real fan if I criticize this, I'd better keep my mouth shut'... Gahhhhhhh YOU LITERALLY HAVE PEOPLE SAYING YUSUKE IS MY GAY OPTION THATS HOW MUCH THIS DUMB RECURRING 'JOKE' HAS ASCENDED INTO ABSURDITY HA HA LETS JUST STATE THAT GAY PEOPLE EXIST MAYBE YOU CAN DATE THIS CHARACTER BUT NOPE WHAT A FUNNY WHAT A PUNCHLINE WHAT A MINIMUM EFFORT FUCKING MESS ... gah sorry I'm shutting up now Anyway I like yusuke a lot and I really fucking wish he was an option. Or at least they wouldn't outright mock me for wanting it. Also Ann x makoto is already hitting me hard and she's barely been in the party for five seconds. They just had a really heartwarming side plot of going from enemies to best friends and they have so much in common and all the boys are constantly being perverted assholes to Ann so she needs to end up with someone better. Seriously this game even goes out of its way yo have like a month long 'joke' of yusuke being mistaken for perving on ann when he's actually not interested in her and doesn't even know what he did wrong! Somehow even the one boy who isn't hitting on her has to somehow hit on her???? And ha ha 'comedy' equals 'hey Ann you have to strip naked in front of a stranger that we all think is a rapist, it is The Only Way'. Fucking glad yusuke turned out to not be that awful, but still it made me so uncomfortable geez... Did the whole Palace in like two days just to get it over with... ... Okay NOW I am done complaining! This is also why I love finally getting another female character, and one that doesn't have to wear a super sexualized battle outfit and do stupid poses that seem completely out of character. Seriously Ann freaks out and tries to cover her chest the first time she transforms, and she just has to.. Deal with it?? And the phantom thief uniforms are meant to be based on your soul so why is it even possible for someone to not be comfortable wearing it? Is it meant to be some kind of stupid 'lol she is repressed and secretly she wants to dress sexy even if she says she doesn't' sort of thing...? Wouldn't have been uncomfortable if she actually seemed like she chose the damn boob suit :P Okay Okay NOW I am done I just had to get out all my complaints cos a lot of this game made me very happy and I hate how some very small scenes have so much impact they threaten to ruin that :P Also I REALLY WANT TO DATE YUSUKE Fuck u game for suggesting I date him if you ain't gonna deliver KEEP YO MOUTH SHUT *goes back to sitting grumpily in a swan boat*