#really ever
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Talking to a someone who is also into occult stuff: Yea, I have weird feelings about calling it a "religion" or "spirituality". I consider myself a soft animist soft polytheist, but divinity is a construct and doesn't necessarily imply significance over other spirits, with a focus on nature energy. But then again, I've changed my mind often and recently, so none of this is set in stone. The best way I can describe it is just "witchy shit".
Talking to literally anyone else: yea, I'm pagan
#witchcraft#witch#magic#not that I talk to others about this#really ever#I can count on one hand the number of conversations I've had with my husband about magic#and we've lived together for almost 9 years#but one of those chats happened last night#and it went exactly like that
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stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle
#🐉#im not gonna send either of them to my dad because i value my peace and safety but i really was tempted by the second one#'why do you have to send a card to your dad i thought you hated that guy' well the thing is one time i forgot#when i was like. ten. and his reaction was not something i ever want to relive.
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Fascinated by this phenomenon
#im just going to list fandoms i think this applies to#steven universe#witch hat atelier#dungeon meshi#one piece#hunter x hunter#moster high#ever after high#Disney#gravity falls#most animes really#if you have your own feel free to add them#meme#digital art#i made this with my finger on my phone after not drawing for seven days it was euphoric
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toxic yaoi or something idk i haven't watched gravity falls
#currently obsessed with these two#they're all over my fyp dude#UPDATE: GUYS I WATCHED IT IT WAS SO GOOD#old tags ->#should really sit down and watch gravity falls in its entirety-#i only ever made it like halfway through it years ago and consumed the rest through osmosis lmao#anyways just wanted to try my hand at drawing this old man#gravity falls#bill cipher#stanford pines#the book of bill#gravity falls fanart#billford#s0up1tart
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It was affection.
#oh they got me#they got me bad#doomed yaoi and I go hand in hand are we even surprised#arcane you are the greatest thing humanity has ever created#I just really wanted to draw jayvik and I kinda went a little overboard with this#I haven't drawn something this detailed since the good omens angels illustration#so you get an idea for how bad this brainrot is#anyways#you will find me on ao3#jayvik I love you#please don't die#jayvik#jayvik fanart#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayce arcane#arcane fanart#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#arcane art#my fanart#digital art#my art
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I love nautical and seaside town horror stories. Tell me more about the fog and water that eats people
#living by the sea also is an experience#cus i love th3 sea so much dude swimming is my fav activity ever#but since tahts my reality i dont experience the horror of it#and some fics and stories really puck a punch#OHHH#rare rambling
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Jason but he wears this helmet 😼
#jason todd#red hood#dc comics#batman#my art#digital art#just something really quick because I saw these helmets for the first time a few days ago and have been thinking about them ever since#won’t tag dick because he’s not even really here#also dick doesn’t know what he’s talking about cause those helmets are sick as hell#mister hypocrite DISCOWING grayson
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#going through my drafts rn bc im looking for sth and idk if i ever posted this before#but like so true @ me from june 2023#cavetext#fwiw im p sure i made this w mitchell and the wolf shaped bullet in mind but who knows really#ive seen a few ppl tag this w unreality warning so to make sure:#unreality cw#tw unreality#unreality#i hope that covers it? idk the common tags for this im trying my best#muted post
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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so much love for characters who are desperately unsure whether they’re a good person, a redeemable person, a person worth saving, but are absolutely certain that they’re a grade a hottie
#‘can i ever really absolve myself of my crimes? do i even want to? am i guilty everything—or of anything at all?#except for the crime of having an ass too fat i’m never beating those allegations’#ryddles
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“You obey me now.”
#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#jjk suguru#jjk geto#jjk fanart#jjk#suguru geto#fanart#fan art#art#artist#procreate#tradicional art#gouache#mixed media#finally watched jujutsu kaisen#digital art#not the best anime ever but it’s really charming and liked a lot of the characters
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Quick throwback bc sometimes I forget how cool my headphones are
#if you notice it’s ever so slightly innacurate I want you to keep that to yourself#but wow I really painted that#my chemical romance#demoliton lovers#gerard way#frank iero#mcr#mcr5 is real#my chemical fucking romance
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀)#liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry 😭
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You can tell by the reaction people have to Penelope asking Colin to kiss her whether they ever experienced being a wallflower/insecure fat girl at a party or not.
Because you say it's pathetic, I say it's relatable, no matter how desperate it may sound. If you've never had your insecurity eat you up from the inside (but also the outside, as Portia literally told Penelope that she was delusional for thinking she was gonna find a husband in her third season out) to the point you genuinely, wholeheartedly believe no one will ever love you unless you physically change, then obviously the scene is off to you.
But Pen literally told Colin she felt stupid for thinking she's gonna find a husband (she just started believing what the ton and her mother said) and that she knows no one would want to kiss her. And for a romance girl like her, do you think the thought of never having a kiss, never experiencing that passion, would be easy to bear? I can so relate to being the most romantic of the bunch but also being the loneliest and aching for physical and emotional romantic love.
She is so vulnerable and so real in that moment but y'all gotta bitch about it because it doesn't make sense to you. It doesn't make sense to me either because she's gorgeous, but that's the thing - no one ever told her she's gorgeous and actually meant it. And even if they did, there must be 10 more people who didn't that keep that insecurity in her, specifically her sisters and her mother.
Nicola said this one was for the wallflowers, and it truly is, so if you find scenes like this cringe, you just don't relate to the character enough to feel it and recall moments when you had the same thoughts as her.
#sorry for ranting#but my girl is insecure and vulnerable#of course she will make decisions that are not really the best#but clearly her self-hatred is running so deep she truly believes she will die before someone will kiss#her#and if that ain't the most relatable thing ever#polin#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#nicola coughlan#bridgerton 3#penelope featherington
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Math is really tiring, im so glad i finally get to relax and do some knitting and crochet and i oh god oh my what the fuck
#honestly crochet and knitting are making me question if ive ever learned to count at all#if you ever want to start fiberworking you really need to take a moment to ask yourself#can i count?#knitting#amigurumi#shitposing#crochet#solar speaks 😎
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