#really cant get over the news that ill be starting in 2 weeks

[catherea]

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[opens-up-4-nobody]

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[namluvili]

I wanna be your lover | seok-jin one shot

this is my first one shot! sorry if its too short or long, i just really liked this idea.

pairing: f!reader x seok-jin (they are fwb)

Word count: 1.4k

!!THIS CONTAINS SMUT!! THIS IS ONLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES! I DO NOT PERSONALLY THINK OF BTS THIS WAY, warnings below!!

warning(s): drinking, possessive jin, hides his feelings for reader but he sucks at it and its adorable. jin and reader are fwb, jin wants something more but reader doesn't (or does she?), f1ngering, making out, unprotected s3x (pls be safe guys), jin goes down on reader, blowj0b, doggystyle, r1ding, edging, jin has a kink for doing stuff in public, lmk if i forgot anything!

You and jin have been seeing eachother for about 5 months now, but because hes on tour, youve barely been able to see him as much. so it wouldn't hurt to see someone else right? Maybe the bar your going to will have someone that you can quickly get dick from, nothing more.

You put on your sluttiest dress and a thong that can be quickly torn off if it needs to be, but what didnt help was that jin bought it for you. you do your hair and put your heels on and make your way out the door.

You arrive at the bar, quickly looking around to see if you can plot on someone. You see this handsome man sitting at the bar, drinking. You decide to play the 'innocent girl whos never drank before' act and go to sit next to him.

"Hey, ive never seen you here before, are you new or something? want me to buy you a drink?" the man says to you. "Yeah, i never drank before, i dont even know where to start. Names Y/N by the way" you reply to him, chuckling. "oh nice, name is jungkook. nice to meet you Y/N."

Many drinks later, you are feeling very tipsy. Jungkook looks at you with lust in his eyes and puts his hand on your thigh, slowly reaching up your dress. "Damn, no wonder you never came here, people wouldnt know how to react with you." he says before slowly putting his lips up to yours.

You got him. You got him around your finger now. Nows your time to take him home and quickly get it over with. You pull back from jungkook and say, "wanna take this back to my place?" as you put on a smile that could make any man melt at the sight.

"I dont think so, princess." a familar voice says behind you. Fuck, its jin, you are, so. fucked. Jungkook looks up at the man and says, "Damn, You couldve told me you had a boyfriend, or else i wouldnt have even talked to you." he says while walking away. You turn around and say, "Jin what the fuck?! you cant just stalk me like that. Considering i haven't even seen you in 2 fucking weeks. God forbid i get some dick that isn't yours, because i know damn well you got pussy whenever you wanted on your tour." "I didnt actually, all i could do was think about you and the way you used to ride me before i left. Its been way to long without you baby. Do you know how hard it was to not go to the bathroom in the hotel and not jerk off to the thought of you? Ive been missing you and the area between your legs."

"Even still jin! im not your property and i cant just not see anyone whenever im horny and only stick to you. I need to see other people." you say while fighting every urge to not just run out of the bar. "Oh really? Keep those words then. Ill make sure to fuck that attitude out of you." He says while having a look in his eyes that creates a puddle between your legs. Fuck, you could barely keep yourself together, trying to hide the fact thats all you wanted. You wanted him, his dick, and his heart. You wanted to belong to him. And he wanted the same, he wanted you to belong to him. The fire that was between you two wasnt gonna go out anytime soon.

He grabbed your hand and went to the nearest bathroom in the bar. He pushed you against the wall and started attack your lips with his. You couldnt even fight him, you missed him so much deep down that you felt so empty without him inside of you. He props you up onto the sink and holds you by the waist, making his way up to your core. He felt the thong you were wearing and sutomaticly knew it was the one he bought you.

"Wow, you were even gonna try to fuck someone else while wearing this thong i got you while i was away. God, your such a slut arent you?" He said while rubbing your thigh. Before you could even answer he put his finger onto your core. He could feel how wet you were. "Cmon baby, tell me how much of a slut you are, use your words my love." You couldnt even reply, because of his fingers sliding up and down your core. You could only reply with stutters and moans.

"Y-yes jin, im a slut. O-oh god, please. I wont do it again, just please fuck me already." "Oh im sorry? you wont do what again? can you repeat that Y/N?" he asked, and god. the way he said your name, it made you on the brink of cumming and he hasnt even done anything yet. God, you were so in love with this man.

"J-jin please i wont do it again, i wont go to anyone else. only you, a-and if you arent here then ill have to wait. O-oh god.."

He brought up his fingers and said, "Good girl. Now im gonna give you a fucking so good and show you who you belong to." He picked you up and tossed you on his shoulder and walked you out of the bar.

Once back at your place, he tossed you onto your bed and ripped off your dress. He slid his hand down your chest and played with your nipples, which made them hard instantly. He brought his head down and sucked on the left nipple. You were moaning and panting so much that someone wouldve thought you were about to cum. But not jin, he could read you like a book and he knew that these moans were filled with love and lust. He let go of your nipple with a pop and went down to your legs.

He slid off your thong carefully and spread open your legs. "O-oh god jin, please. im so desperate." You said as he looked at you from between your legs. "Oh baby, your in for a night" he said as he started licking your core. He sucked and licked so good that you were seeing stars in your eyes. He was teasing your entrance with his tounge and it made you even more desprate, forming tears in your eyes.

You could hear the slurping and sucking, making you close to just snapping, but he stopped. "Get up and get in doggy-style. I wanna see how good you look for me" You got up and got into the postistion. you could hear his zipper go down and you felt his d1ck press up against your core. He slowly insterted and stretched you out.

"Fuck, i missed this pussy so much you have no idea baby." He said as he let you loosen up for him. "Are you ready baby? Im gonna give you the best fucking of your life." He said as he started pounding into you.

You couldnt even hold yourself up as you were drooling and just laying there. He put his arm underneath you and held you up.

As he kept going harder and faster, you could hear the clapping that was going on between you two. You felt the line in your lower stomach about to snap. He could tell you were about to cum by the way you started clenching around him. "Oh no, not yet baby, you can cum when i let you." He said as he slipped out of you. "This is what bad girls get when they try to get dick from somewhere else."

He flipped you guys over and now you were on top of him. "Ride. Me. Now." he demanded and you started riding. Side to side, up and down, and back and forth. "J-Jin please, im so close. Just let me.."

He snatched your head and pulled it down and looked you deep into your eyes, panting and sweating. "Cum with me. Show me who turns you into a mess and makes you cum around his cock."

And boom. Thats all you needed for that line to snap in your lower stomach. You were shaking around his cock and moaning more then ever. Not to long after, jin was finishing inside of you.

Panting and sweating he picked up your face and said, "I love you Y/N."

"I love you more Jin. I missed you."

[dollyhao]

ameliorate; to make better

pairing: dina x reader

summary: dina is overwhelmed by all the things that happened in seattle…. and ellie, and being a single mother doesn’t make it any easier. when a sweet woman comes to make her life easier...better.

toni's note: there's nothing to warn about besides a bit angst, it doesn't really get angsty till the next part. im hoping i can make this into 3 parts. thank you for 800 followers by the way!

word count: 1k

you hear the sound of a wailing baby as you make your way back home, you follow the sound. you cant be too sure about these kinda things, what if something bad happened. you stumble upon dina rocking baby jj in a rocking chair on her porch, shushing him trying to console him. dina looks tired and overwhelmed, dark circles under her eyes and unbrushed hair.

you approach her gently not wanting to startle her, “hey, can i try?” you give her a gentle smile pointing at jj. dina tucks a piece of hair behind her ear nodding, “y-yea sure. you can try, hes been crying a lot lately.” you reach for jj bouncing and rocking in a comforting rhythm, chanting soft shushes. jj quiets down letting out a calm gurgle. you look back up at dina seeing her rub her hands down her face in an exhausted manner.

she chuckles, “i cant even get my son to be quiet let alone sleep, ellie was really good at that..” she puts her elbows on her knees putting her face in her hands. you stay quiet letting her have her moment, still rocking jj as he starts to doze off. dina seems to regroup, looking back up at you curiously, “would you like to come in? its getting cold out here.” dina offers standing up. “yea, thanks.”

dina walks into the house and you follow, “no. thank you. i appreciate what you did. “ “where’s his bed?” you ask now that jj is fast asleep. “he sleeps with me, the room is down the hall.” you go to the room, laying jj down, making sure hes comfortable before leaving the room. dina is in the kitchen making herself a cup of tea, “would you like some?” she glances at you over her shoulder. “yes please.” you stand awkwardly, hands in your back pockets swaying a little. she nods over to the living room with 2 cups in her hands. you follow taking a seat on the couch as she hands you a cup.

you thank her, taking a sip. “are you new to jackson? i dont remember ever seeing you before.” you chuckle, “no im not new, ive been here for years now.” you give a shy smile. “oh im sorry, i cant believe ive never noticed you.” “its fine. i preferred to stay to myself anyway. i work at the school. im a teacher,” you sit your cup down looking at her, “i always wanted to approach you, i thought you were beautiful. but you were dating jesse and then after you and jesse broke up, you and ellie made a nice little scene at the party.” you chuckle watching her face flush slightly. “also, im sorry about jesse…. and ellie.” she nods, quiet for a minute before replying. “thank you, for the jesse and ellie thing… and for calling me beautiful.” you smile at her.

you look outside seeing how dark it was getting, “i should get going.” you say standing up. dina stands up too, “thank you again. he probably would’ve cried through the night.” “of course, just let me know if you need my help again. ill be happy to help.” you walk backwards as you talk smiling at her until you run into a wall. “ah, shit..” you say rubbing the back of your head. dina laughs and follows you to the door as you turn around and walk correctly. “ill be sure to ask for your help again.” she says giving you a soft, genuine smile.

a week later, you walk into the dining hall as maria is walking out, “hey maria, is there anything you needed from me?” you wanted to make sure there wasn’t something you were suppose to be doing that you forgot about. “no. nothing that i can remember. im about to take this to dina, i wanna make sure shes staying fed.” “ill take it to her!” you say a little too eagerly for your taste. for the last week, you’ve been trying to find any excuse to visit dina and jj when you weren’t busy. dina doesn’t seem to ever object to the company. she appreciates you coming around and talking to her and playing with the baby. so when this opportunity pops up, of course your gonna take it. “let me grab myself a plate and ill take hers to her.” you say taking the plate out her hands. “well ok. thank you.” you smile before walking away.

you get to dina’s door knocking with the two plates in your hands. dina opens the door looking a little breathless, “oh, hey.” she gives you one of her soft smiles shes been giving you quite a lot. “hey, i brought you food. not sure if you ate or not.” “right.. food. i definitely forgot to eat. “ she says rubbing a hand through her hair. she gives another small smile, but this one doesn’t reach her eyes. “thats ok. i have food for you, lets not dwell to much on a honest mistake. k?” she nods. you hear a baby cry in the background, “i see you have two plates. wanna come in and eat? i was just feeding jj.” “id love to” you respond walking in.

you guys walk to the dining table where you find jj in a high chair. “hey baby boy!” you say tickling his belly, he lets out a squeal/giggle. you and dina sit on either sides of him after a minute, you see dina subtly go to smell herself. she lets out a wince, “um do you mind feeding him while i go take a shower.” you nod, “of course.” you say as you slide his food bowl over to yourself. you give dina a reassuring smile letting her know its ok.

when dina gets out the shower and is dressed, she walks in the living room while brushing her hair seeing you and jj on the carpet in her living room playing. she smiles, it felt good being able to enjoy a shower without rushing out to jj. she trusts you with jj almost the way she trusted ellie with him. yall look her way, both you and jj smiling at her. she comes and joins, both of you enjoying the sweet giggles of the cute baby.

(part 1)

[imkazz]

finished saiki k and i am not coping well

yeahh i get why they said theres no development until the last 2 episodes. because i have thoughts. more than i had for season 2 or season 1.

@peapodsinspace ing because this isnt from discord and i was freaking out with you real time when i was watching loll

cannot believe this is only about three episodes. how is this just three???? im just going to go in chronological order and hope for the best and barely proofread loll

the future talks. ohhh i am ill about the future talks. saiki kusuo has more pressing matters than his future and it kills me every time. because he cant focus on himsef- there is an active volcano that he has always been rewinding time for. he cannot have the time to think about university or a future career until this is all over, which is so unlike me (a normal teenager) that it makes me ill because this is what a normal teenager should be thinking about, not the fucking country that you have to save by yourself. and at least i was so happy that they were crowding around kusuos desk until they started talking about the very future that he has to save, and then i was even happier to hear that kuboyasu and hairo want to become teachers because those types of characters always kill me (despite the fact that the anime also made fun on the fact that it is a trope too) and they are both really good picks from the gang to actually become them. i also enjoyed the quiz game they did to guess kusuos college- teruhashi was the only one to get a ‘hm good guess’ out of kusuo, and his chosen places are literally ‘economics’ ‘literature’ ‘literature’ and the fact that everyone said “thats so normal”in distaste implies that they believe that kusuo could do better. and then THIS.

and the fact kusuo thinks “maybe this could go on forever…” with a smile on his face???? like my dude you are wayy too attached to them noww..

ok so it seems i might even just. be doing a paragraph per episode. now.

the robot?? i agree with what i said my first watch: WHY IS THE SAIKI FAMILY SO DEPENDANT ON GENERATIVE AI AND ROBOTS. i wasnt sure which one it would do- if it would fool all his friends or if it would be too suspicious for them. but i was dead wrong- it says ‘yare yare’ too many times and it is obviously saiki kusuo in the flesh (get it?). i was growing more concerned (and out of breath from laughing) at all the shenanigans that happened along with how kusuo attempted to get rid of it, showing a bit more of his battle iq and intelligence along with his relationships with the other psychics, through his quick strategizing along with utilising his abilities to help in specific situations, along with the relationships he has cumulated with them in order to get them to trust him and follow his word when serious times arise. not only that, but kusuke gets additional information about all of that along with us the audience because he is also a part of the audience (my brain hurts from some of this stuff). 

then for the battle. i am illllllll. so. for many many episodes, we have watched kusuo try and make plans to avoid his friends in all sorts of situations. but this bit? its golden. he finds a disadvantage from not knowing what toritsuka has been doing all week, and that temporarily weakens him until he comes up with a new plan on the given information he knows and has pieced together himself, and then used it to get his body back. then not only that, he begins to fight without his limiter. and we know its hard even with the limiter!! we watched him struggle to throw balls, and then practice to ensure that he could control his strength. amazing already, but then he begins to turn a bad situation into something favourable especially with toritsuka in the mix. because both saiki brothers are smart af. even if toritsuka isnt of use, kusuke reuses him as a hostage and then when that doesnt work, himself and the limiter (all things important to kusuo). kusuo is able to put together that the bomb was fake because kusuke spoke for too long and he remembered aiuras word and trusts her power. 

and then the battle plan is so smart?? kusuo is able to use his disadvantages as advantages (teleportation doesnt need the 3 minute cooldown), and then purposefully drained his strength to be able to pick up the limiter and put it back into his head without breaking it. he could read toritsukas mind and realised that he didnt actually hate kusuo (i found how this was shown as really cool too? instead of the background it was soft shapes and colours implying friendliness as it showed both of them). he made enough of a friendship with toritsuka to get him not to hate him even after being brainwashed. kusuo dragged out the battle to try and gauge what the cat tank could do. AND HES SEVENTEEN. what shocked me further was the fact that he took out the limiter. which he thought would reveal his powers to the world. sure its an asshole thing of kusuke to say/do to kusuo but he at least disabled it a long time ago. but im more focused on kusuo. he took it out. he took it out. thats HUGE. he really thought he would be letting go of normalcy and never be able to go to school without being worshipped. and he did it on his own terms. i was so happy to see how he was smiling and happy thinking about his friends too.. like kusuo was happy with the time he spent with them as a normal kid. but then he was so ready to blast them with full power after both of their comments lolll. and i also found it interesting how kusuke took off his telepathy blocker when explaining why he disabled it so that his brother could know he was telling the truth. and the fact that they moved past the fact that kusuke made a limiter that completely erases kusuos powers?!??!?! and i was confused when toritsuka and kusuo moved past it so easily but. thank fuck they revisited that tidbit???? what made me sadder was the fact that kusuo wanted it so badly, and yet couldnt. because of the volcano. it was good foreshadowing when kusuo thought ‘move forwards.. theyre right. i should clean this up quickly’ in the first part of the episode and then to have this too.. the emotional turmoil is too much. on one hand he could get rid of powers he hates and yet he still has to save the world which he has been putting on hold because he needs more power. like yeah please kill me now, especially that last interaction between toritsuka and kusuo. like yeah hes fake mad at toritsuka at first but then he has to give his genuine thanks because there was no way kusuo would have won if it was just himself, as toritsuka was a key part of the battle from his new powers to his status as a hostage to the fact he broke past the brainwashing.

and when they finally start planning that trip (callback to the first segment of episode one!!) and they decide upon the place where an active volcano has tried to blow up for four years. absolute madlads. kusuo diverted them at first but its a comedy anime too- ofc they are going to oshimai.

and everyone asking why he cant go is hillarious too.. “what plans do you have?” “im sure its nothing important!” ‘im saving the world?!’ yeahhh he has to go, because he cares. he doesnt want them to cancel what they think is their last fun time together before third year. its not because his mom forced him. its because he loves them. the cumulation of four years with these losers has made kusuo soft for them.

when they actually get to oshimai, i would have loved to watch their shenanigans. im sure they are chaos incarnate while on a play date with each other, but i really liked how the anime showed the tension that kusuo had. even as the rest of them were having lighthearted conversations, there was always a pit in my stomach as kusuo continued to refer to the mountain and was generally downcast while the group did all of those activities i would have previously have laughed at if it was not for the huge threat right there and despite the fact that kusuo looks the same as always (silent, in the background, neutral face) i felt nervous because he had said so just barely a minute ago and hadnt mentioned again. its shown through the way he allowed teruhashi to do as she pleased, how he would look at the mountain constantly, not say anything mentally to the audience.. it was offputting and really set the vibes. his face reflected in the window, with owari yama right there too? perfect way to end the segment.

i found it clever how saiki used a previous part to help him: the robot. he now knows that nobody suspects anything if he just says ‘yare yare’ and he now uses this with his hypnosis (seen in many episodes, such as s1 ep 24) to mesh together a perfect stand in (according to his friends OOF). and then he uses the clones (from s2 ep22) to help with the eruption (s2 ep13). not only that, his plan is pretty good. he has already used toritsuka as a stand in (when kusuo turned kaido and nendo into stone) and then aiura has already helped him with a previous eruption which he had to turn back time on. it was also a callback to kusuo in the previous episode: no way kusuo would have asked kusuke for help on how to solve the volcano problem if they had not cleared some things up after the fight, and no way would he have if there was no power canceller, and no way if the limiter being pulled would still tell the world about his powers. this is a big climax towards things that the plot has been working towards, and it is a mix of everything: many specific instances, his training, previous lore, character development, his friends and family, kusuos priorities, his emotional stances. they all played some sort of part in his plan to enable time to move forwards.

i was concerned to see him beat up (because looookkk hes just two years older than mee and also pretty oppp) but i was so fuckin pumped that time was moving forwards and he was also pretty happy, given the smile. and the joy immediately left. because everyone showed up, and then to show that alternate universe where things were almost the same but slightly different?? and the fact that kusuo literally told all of them about his powers because he knew he could go back in time and erase all of that? its killing me because he did that because he knew he could experiment for a reaction and then erase it as if nothing actually happened. and it really seems like theres no getting out of it right. his friends saw him, they see the clones, they see toritsuka faking as kusuo, they see the real kusuo holding the ground and preventing the eruption. theres no lying to get out of it. but the same as i thought from the shipwrecked episodes, of course saiki kusuo gets out of it. kaido realises it too and he just wants the truth because he trusts kusuo so much. its been there since the beginning, how much kaido cares about saiki and wants him to be happy because kusuo has made kaido happy, and how much kaido values their friendship. he has always wanted kusuo to remain safe and happy and to be friends with each other.. we see how the rest of them just want kusuo to tell the truth, because they will love him no matter what. and it was shown through the alternate timeline, too, how they dont care about the powers, even if they dont understand, that they know kusuo and know that he has their best interests in mind because he is their friend. and somehow its nendo who is the reasonable one, we have seen him be kind and understanding towards both kusuo and others at so many instances but it is this one that touches kusuo because nendo has always been there for him, throughout all sorts of situations. sure he is dumb, but nendos strength is not athletics. it is his kindness. 

then the fact that everyone agrees with him.. theres no way this is a comedy anime. this is a slice-of-life coming-of-age angst/horror anime which has comic relief.  it was shown through the alternate timeline, too, how they dont care about kusuos powers, even if they dont understand, that they know kusuo and know that he has their best interests in mind because he is their friend. and he knows that even if it is a different timeline, that they would still remain the same in the stance. so he speaks. with his mouth. its huge!! his eyes are shiny because this is absolute confirmation that they would love him even if they knew that about him, because he has given them the same treatment- he has seen a huge part of them that they dont share, and he still loves them, so the opposite is also true. ..but he cant share it yet, not until his powers are gone of course. and it makes sense, of course. if i was one of his friends, i would prefer learning about that after his powers are gone- and this is a decision he is sure about. kusuos powers have caused him so much suffering. while he has many typical teenager traits, he is all in all, incredibly different due to his enlarged responsibilities over himself and the world. sure, his powers have helped him in many situations, but for kusuo, the bad outweigh the good and this has been his ultimate goal for a very long time. while removing his powers will not get rid of the weirdness surrounding him, it will get rid of a lot of the pain and stress. and i was so fucking excited when hairo said that kusuo called everyone over- because we the audience know what will be happening. and it would definitely be for the best, as kusuo really wants to apologise for many of the things that happened because of his powers. 

and then the fucking window.

then this is why im very happy for the watch order to be posted. because this cliffhanger is too much without reawakened episode 6.

i find it so funny that while kusuo has lost his powers, that he still has the ability to break the fourth wall. when asked if his delusions are the same as kaido in middle schooler syndrome, he has to reply with an “absolutely not”. i love how he is feeling the effects of losing his powers. he has relied on his powers as another limb his entire life, and they are suddenly gone. even if they are overall bad, he still used them daily and isnt used to life without it because he was forced to live with it previously, meaning that he would find some use through the disadvantages. i also really liked how while kusuo could very blatantly feel the loss, he could also appreciate the beauties of normal life. actually be able to see his friends rather than just a skeleton, probably have a peaceful sleep, any of those powers he couldnt turn off have finally done so and he has a lot less weight as a result. it is really interesting to watch him try and get out of situations he would have previously avoided using his powers, as he has to rely on his own intuition and chance rather than himself and his abilities. 

but it is an anime, and god hates him, so kusuo is stuck with teruhashi on their project. he sees the disadvantages everywhere- things that normal people are used to but he is not, and it seems like good representation for disability- having something and then suddenly having it gone, so you are only left with routines that are no longer possible because you are missing a key component. and not only that, there are hinders towards kusuos journey. 

he gets a fucking bookshelf toppled over onto him. huhhhhhh???? would you really go so far as to kill a kid for accidentally becoming partners with a girl for one school project?? and i was also confused until i saw nendo- in all his glory. seriously, this guy is insanely good at protecting people without a single thought beforehand (he has to get it from his dad right). and not only that, we watch toritsuka and kuboyasu against the bullies- two people insanely good at beating people up. this is a great place to show some character development- nendo gives a speech to kusuo about how even the strongest can need protecting, and it is shown with how nendo instinctively went to protect him from the bookcase and toritsuka/kuboyasu went to beat up the ones who caused it.. finally kusuo himself can get protected by his friends. because he isnt used to it in the slightest. he desperately wanted to get rid of the powers without fully realising how much he relied on them for daily life. even in dangerous situations he would subconsciously rely on powers he doesnt have anymore, and he even realises it and doubts his decision. but nendo comes in and saves it and i find that very precious and important to kusuo to realise that he doesnt always have to be the overpowered one because there are people around him who still care regardless.

but it doesnt last. he cannot even get used to having no powers because they come back only two days later. the way it was presented was pretty cool, too, with how kusuos hand made an indent into the wall from where he slammed it, to the thought bubble from kusuke. and i also thought the way the dawning horror was shown was pretty cool. the purple and blue spirals towards a terrified kusuo without his limiters or glasses, at night, while kusuke continues talking and says that kusuo has evolved past being human in order to control his powers? yeah terrifying, i felt the horror in me too. because how long had he been evolving for? if hed gotten rid of the powers faster, would it have worked? if he hadnt spent so long on the volcano, could he be normal? was he ever actually normal? was it only recently since his body had changed to adapt? because with his body, kusuo relies on his powers. it could be compared to another heart, or a limb. his body needs powers because that is what they are used to. eyes that see through skin, a brain that can hear thoughts, muscles that are used to carrying boulders.. the list goes on and it shows that he has no choice but to use powers, as his mind has always been on fixing problems using parts of him that he has always had, his own biology has been on that. yeah psychological horror much.

the fact that it doesnt work. being told to live normally and peacefully without thinking about his powers doesnt work. because kusuo is far too used to them, he doesnt even think before using them for the little things in daily life such as opening the door or pushing in his seat. its like a papercut on your finger and only then do you realise how much you use that finger all the time- he doesnt realise it until its too late. and then he continues to remain ignorant until it actually happens, such as clairvoyance and new (useless) powers forming. he is already too used to it that he uses them without realising, because that was his normal. kusuo can also realise this with his dawning terror at each thing that happens with his power, with the foreboding patterns with dark colours and his horrified face. he is trying so hard to deny it because even if there are good things that come with his powers, ultimately, they cause him suffering. but it doesnt even fucking work.

its really sad to see him accidentally use powers, as they come back swiftly. kusuo is trying so hard to deny his symptoms but there is really no use: the illness is back. he teleported home, used clairvoyance, talked using telepathy, went invisible, used psycokinesis, saw through someone.. theres too many to deny that his powers are back. but kusuke asks valid questions: did anything good happen without them? and the answer is kusuo thinking about the bookshelf incident. because there are both good and bad things from it, he had to get protected and was weakened by the fact he couldnt see it coming, but it was good to know that so many people are willing to protect him. but then theres a fucking meteor. its also a manipulative thing for kusuke to do, asking that question and then thrusting a natural disaster upon his brother going through an existential crisis. because kusuo has a choice to make. he could try and suppress the powers even further and live a normal life until the end and let kusuke deal with it as that is the path that he chose. or kusuo could accept that the powers are a part of him and that people will still love him regardless, and make the choice to save the world and possibly never live normally again. and its a shitty situation all around. a seventeen year old should not have to make such a choice.

and yet he has to. because kusuo can hear his friends pleading for help, their fear, their reactions, confusion. kusuo knows he cannot have his father do something of this scale, or let his brother do something like that to their dad. he cant let the meteor hit earth because everyone he loves is there. kusuo was always one to complain verbally(mentally) about shit he gets wrapped up in, but from the context clues and his actions throughout the series, he has shown just how much he cares and tries to help even with how much he drags his feet and complains and insults. because all kusuo wants is for his friends to be happy, and to live normally. but those two things cannot coexist, at least not for long. and then he smiled. he chooses their happiness, because that is the kind of person kusuo is. he has said that he is a psychic in so many situations and for so many reasons, but at the start and end of the series, it is the same ten words.

“so my life of peace is over, but i feel that is not so bad after all.. perhaps i like to deal with hassles after all. yare yare. my name is saiki kusuo. and i am a psychic.”

[xoxitgirl]

⊹₊ ⋆ seasons results! ⊹ ࣪ ˖

⟡ part one ⟡

so usually I try to write it down from the day i start and document the results from then but I literally forgot lmaoo so heres it broken down into every couple days/every week! ima keep this method tho ngl because its so useful but this is probably gonna be a long post bc i wanna be as raw as possible w ya’ll.

season one: jdnavsthewrld ⋆𐙚 ₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡

overview

so first and foremost—my season is going to be filled with all of my designs blowing up, making hundreds of dollars a week, improving my relationship with my boyfriend, and getting a new charger. I wrote out everything in detail so that way it was easier for me to understand exactly what I want like shipping out orders and stuff in my new car, taking a trip to NY, collaborating with some designers that I really like + meeting some designers as well, having hella photo shoots, etc! so it starts off with me getting a new car, it’s easier for me to process all of my orders and get yarn/make clothing just because I have a more efficient car.

dec 3-10

this week was full of me reminding myself im living in my season and my whole idea is about my buisness blowing up and a new carr so ngl its already blown up a little cause someone posted my skirt but it slowed down and now its picking back up. one thing that I’m trying to remember is that I’m not going to know how good it is to have a lot of sales unless I know what it’s like to have lower sales like understanding the duality of owning a business that not every single day you’re going to have the most ideal amount of sales, but that time to be creative and breathe will definitely lead you to that outcome in the long run. I made 4 sales this week so its definitely making me feel a little like imposter syndrome like this cant be happening blah blah blah but I quickly redirected my thoughts to, “what happens in my season? my business was meant to blow up, this is what I’m meant to be doing.”

dec 11-18

okay I made 6 more sales, when I started I had 25 now I’m at 35 so I feel hella confident because I’m constantly falling asleep doing SATS. I can literally feel all the excitement and anxiety and nerves that come with an abundance of success. I sold my biggest custom order to a new client, this two piece set and a fur skirt so I’m like damn. its only bigger and better from here. another thing I added was me and my boyfriend are getting better and connecting more and I feel like our relationship is definitely growing in a healthier way. I made around $300 this week from my pieces so I cant even be upset if I wanted to (,:

dec 19-25

so okay new updateee I sold another 3 item set so I made another $100 this week, mind you im writing this the 21st so the week’s not even over yet, and I feel hella confident in my season. I finally finished drafting everything thats happening. im also having a lot of fun maintaining that it’s already mine. I literally spend so much time vaunting. I was meant to be a designer. of course I have sales, im that bitch. people loovee my clothes cause who else is doing it like me? literally nobodyy. this is what gets me to feel more confident too, if you’re not reassuring yourself who is yk? and my relationship is sooo goodd 🥺 like its been so peaceful and my bf has been surprising me with pinterest dates and shit like what is my lifee!!

ima come back and update after my moms bday, I always have a routine for the new year which is expelling all old energy. like cleaning my room, donating clothes, i also sage everything, make new sigils, wash my hair and alll my clothes so yeah lol i have a feeling the new energy will be beautiful.

dec 26-jan 2

okay I’ve been learning how to sew and I’ve been getting really really good at it. like making my own pieces by myself—before I used to have my mom help me, but now I actually know how to sew fr. I wanna show y’all so ill insert some things ive made/been making. ngl tho I think ima give it like a week or so more to really saturate my mind because I been listening to this sub by slade and its really been helping but I gotta focus on consistency! so thats really what im focusing on through the 15th so more updates around then!! my goal is to have more posts and get ready for a mini photoshoot.

jan 3-jan 12

jan 4th.. coming up with designs that are exactly what I envision/things that ive never seen knit or done in this style. made my collab post but skeptical about when I should make my collab collection so well see but I feel like the things im making rn are multimillion dollar designs like I can feel it in my core. also about to clean my car out soon to trade my car in for the charger of my dreams, apparently my parents were looking for chargers for monthsss and didn’t tell me cause they wanted to surprise me.. for reference y’all I literally have a charger sub i made 5 months ago and was so in my head about it but now i feel like my mind is fully saturated. every time I drive, it feels like im already in a new car, I imagine it in the driveway. I already have it in the 4d so its beyond mine in the 3d.

jan 7.. omg so update, I literally cleaned my car out today and I’m trading it in on friday like what the fuck is my lifee I knew it would happen but this was the first time where I realy put my foot down and envisioned myself driving the car literally everywhere. I race ppl like im in a charger already lmaoo the planes were bound to align sooner or later!! ill insert how it looks when it gets here yall we might have to order it but this is the first step in my journey—I get my charger, my design acc blows up, and so forth. (;

okay hi guys I made 2 sales recently and I just got my charger, everything literally feels like it’s falling into place and it’s kind of surreal. I think I’m gonna make a part two for my results because this post is getting helllla long but I GOT A 2023 CHARGER STX and tbh I wanted an R/T but the only one I could get was 2015 so im just hella happy I got a brand new car and it looks EXACTLY HOW I WANT—black rims, spoiler, it looks so mean!!! ugh im in love. peep my noface air freshener from my last car (,: and it only has 10 miles yall… I love using seasons so much

next post coming by valentines day! 💋

itgirl ⊹ ࣪ ˖

[werebutch]

I cant wait to move out im going to suffer so much but ill also have so much that i dont right now. Im so glad i found my love of cooking recently its so so fulfilling. I’m so excited for school and im so nervous. I’m so excited to make friends again and have a schedule. Live in my own little world. It’s like so cheesy but im kind of finally starting to get over my thing about dying young. Like since i was 12 i planned to die before i graduated high school (and at 12, i hoped before i completed 8th grade) but its been almost 2 years since i got my diploma. Now i have my little bunnies and a lot of passion for new and old hobbies etc. like up until a little while ago i could not envision a future for myself at all, its like i was genuinely incapable. And i still kinda am, but its slowly getting better at least for now. And idk im a major loser im pretty much freeloading right now i dont really have friends and I haven’t dated in like.. 4 years? Which is insane. But also like a lot of other people are major losers. I’d go as far as to say most people are losers. and ive told myself this so much im starting to believe it so thats good i guess. The suicidal ideation hasn’t gone away but i can deal with it better. Or at least distract myself better. Anyways ive also experimented with art so much the last couple years and it only makes me want to try more mediums. Since becoming less depressed my intense love for the earth just keeps inspiring me more and more and i think i finally have a very abstract idea of what i want to do with my career. Maybe. At least for now i do, which is good. It’ll change and thats fine. I’m honestly really worried about this high ive had for the past couple weeks because im really scared it will all go away. I’m not usually this optimistic and its scaring me big time. I still have so much mental trouble with my body and my relationship with my family those are like the major things. And the loneliness of course. I just really hope i dont like ? Crash? And start feeling horrible again. I dont know what im saying anymore LMFAO i should really write in my journal im just lazy. If u read this all youre a real werebutch fan. Make me feel less scared of college please

[shadyhouse]

venting about work things are AWFUL right now and i just need to scream about it

i got this new job a few months ago thinking that it was gonna help me get out of this financial mess im in, i started with full time hours the first few months and things were good! but suddenly everything is just WORSE now. sure it pays slightly more but i got absolutely no hours this month bc youre expected to "earn" hours bc its all "performance based" like. i work at a fucking gas station. their literal actual excuse for me when i asked about it was "we hired more people during your shift and they wanted full time" so i just get completely thrown under the bus bc you dont deem me deserving of full time hours??? because i dont go extremely above and beyond ???????? AT A GAS STATION???? WHERE I ALREADY DO WHAT IM TOLD AND MAKE SURE ALL MY WORK IS DONE RIGHT AND PROPERLY AND THATS ALL IT HAS TO BE?????

this place's expectations are so high and corporate has their heads so far up their own asses that they treat it like youre working at the greatest establishment ever conceived and youre just undeserving and unappreciative of their generosity if you dont make their brand your entire fucking life. like okay you have this brand recognition but its still a Fucking gas station. this place is so cultish. you have to sell your soul to the company and if you desire a work/life balance or dont take it as seriously as the managers do youre punished for it.

i seriously dont know how i went from working full time to working 3 days in a single month, ive asked for more hours but they expect ME to CALL all the stores in the area to ask if they need help (most of which i cannot get to! because i dont have a car! and they know this!) and even then im only allowed to work for 4 hour shifts bc thats the rules with covering. like seriously what the fuck kind of setup is this. if im gonna spend $15 on a lyft to get to work at least let me work a full shift????????

im on day 5 of 5 days off in a row, and then after tomorrow i have 5 more days off in a row, and then i work an 8 hr shift on wednesday and a 5 hr shift on sunday. which is a day that from the start ive requested off. i have plans that weekend. so theyre straight up ignoring my availability. literally all i did was ask if i could work 8am-4:30pm instead of 6am-2:30pm because i have to wake up at 4am to catch the bus and its been really difficult for me. thats literally all i asked for and now suddenly i get less than 20 hours in a single month.

like this was so abrupt and sudden and i cant think of a single thing that would make them turn on me so hard. i do my job!?!?!? last time i was at work my boss was really short with me for no reason and she even wrote me up for something that 1) i never even got properly trained on 2) for a station that i have asked time and time again to NOT put me on because im NOT good at it. either put me in the kitchen or have me clean or have me stock, dont put me at register because i suck at it and it stresses me out. every single shift ive had for the last 2 weeks has been register. and then they blame me and write me up for things that im actively asking not to do bc i Know ill fuck it up. and we've had conversations about it. i was told that theyd put me in places im more comfortable in. and yet here i am getting written up for stupid reasons over things we've already discussed. they want to fire me SO BADLY

im honestly really upset and i dont know what to do anymore and it sucks bc every job ive had since 2022 has treated me like absolute garbage and i dont know what the fuck im doing wrong????? i start, i get told im a good worker, and then everything does a 180 and im forced to look for a new job. the cycle will never stop this is just what my life is. i dont know what to do or how to fix this. i dont even WANT to work at a gas station im here out of desperation bc my last job that i thought was going to be a career treated me so badly i just left to the first job i could find that paid more 💀

on top of everything my bank account is deep in the negatives and im scared to keep on asking for help because like. im sick of this too!!!! everything sucks!!!! everyone is broke!!!!! the good news i guess is that i applied for a better job at my roommate's place that pays a lot more and its an actual Real job but who knows if thatll actually happen..... ugh only time will tell. things HAVE to get better they NEED to 😭😭

[virocci]

harro silly ppl in my phone

once again we got another life update starring me 🤩

winter break finallyyyy started but i skipped my last day of school so teehee 😋 i acc kinda hate school rn sm, like my math teacher sucks ass and my classes are just ugh 😞. i rlly hope semester 2 wont be as bad 🙏

its so snowy outside <3 i love when its snowy during christmas. its so funsies and cozy :3 i have been absolutely DEVOURING hot chocolate lately. like its prbly a problem but who cares 😝

i’ve planned to meet w/ some friends from school after christmas but idk if i rlly wanna go cuz we r going to end up meeting after i have work 😭 im gonna be soooooo tired and im not rlly looking forward to it but we agreed to see wicked and i also rlly wanna see it as well 😞

also i have been playing alotta strinova recently. it has A GRIP on me rn lol. i rlly like maining eika and fuschia usually but reeeeeeally want to try playing galatea. if you like valorant or overwatch i highly recommend trying strinova ya’ll :3 its like anime val but you can turn into paper. it also runs on my crappy laptop v smoothly so yeah :D

i also STILL have not built my sunday. like istg hsr HATES me rn. I KEEP GETTING THE RIGHT STATS ON THE WRONG RELICS. like i got the perfect substats ON THE WEONG SPHERE. i was farming the entire time i was at work AND GOT NOTHING. i swear im literally going to LOSE IT if i cant get him good relics 😭

i’ve also yet to play the new update for zzz. ik we get a new character for free but other than that idrk what has been added :,) i’m rlly looking forward to it tho so yippee!!!

also, i’ve been wondering if i should try out infinite nikki, ik its supposed to be rlly cozy and cite and i think itd be right up my alley its just that i dont usually like open world games 😭 i always find open world games to be super daunting and always get tired of having to run around to do things :,)

another series i rlly wanna get into is persona, i recently (not so recently) bought persona 3, 4, and 5 on my switch but havent really gotten a chance to play :( (or am just too lazy to turn on my switch lol) but ill definitely get to it… eventually.

otherwise, i have been mildly chilling!! lately i’ve been getting the random weeks where i feel shitty all week and then at home i just start crying. like uncontrollable and unstoppable crying. but it hasnt happened in a while so i hope whatever is happening in the brains is calming down :3

anyways, rant over

ty for reading :3

pretty pintrest pic just for you <3

[creative-caramel-coffee]

PROMPTS LIST

Hi welcome to my prompts list, if you have an idea for a fic or would like one of these prompts in a fic let me know the number or letter or both in a request (feel free to use more than one) and I (if your request fits the guidelines) will write it at some point. If you are requesting you don’t have to use a prompt but feel free too. :)

please also look at my do’s and don’ts before requesting :)

DIALOGUE PROMPTS

1. “honey i know you really don’t want to but can you please take your medicine?”

2. “give me that, did you even look at the right dose before you started chugging cold medicine love?”

3. “if you can walk from here to there you can come with.”

4. “dont speak honey i can tell it hurts.”

5. “love you act like a child when your sick”

6. “honey no your not gross, you cant help being sick sweetheart.”

7. “no honey it happens i don’t blame you please don’t cry my sweet.”

8. “what are you doing out of bed my love?”

9. “look at me, hold my hands. breathe with me love your ok.”

10. “do you think you can eat something or will you be sick again my love?”

11. “honey you must be boiling from the inside out here come to bed and let me look at that fever of yours.”

12. “love we need to check your temperature again. i know i know you hate it.”

13. “your looking a bit pale love are you feeling alright, come here.”

14. “let me feel your forehead, no buts, come here.”

15. “this cant be new, love how long have you felt sick?”

16. “i don’t like the sound of that cough, let me hear your breathing my sweet.”

17. “no. you need to be in bed now come here ill carry you back.”

18. “can you walk?”

19. “is it your head?”

20. “if this happens again I’m taking you to the sickbay.”

21. “ready your obviously not capable of walking I’m going to carry you. ready? one two three up!.”

22. “slow sips my love or you’ll be sick again?”

23. “have you taken anything for it?”

24. “come on babe just a nibble its all I’m asking you need to eat something.”

25. “oh love you must feel awful.”

26. “let me see that right now, how did you even do this?”

27. “that sounds like a nasty cold, do you need anything?”

28. “honey you cant come with you can barely walk.”

29. “here put this over your eyes and sleep.”

30. “i got you a cold wash cloth and some pain medicine to help.”

31. “aww love come here.”

32. “is that the grim reaper?”

33. “did you get your period love.”

34. “its ok we can get the blood out.”

35. “honey can you come with me, your bleeding through your shorts.”

36. “come have a bath and i’ll get you something for the cramps.”

37. “oh love its that time of the month isn’t it sweets.”

38. “its ok, a little period blood wont kill me.”

39. “honey the boys haven’t noticed yet but the blood on your suit isn’t from the mission, aunt flo came.”

40. “Love we need to get you changed.”

41. “Um I think im gonna-“

42. “I’ll admit im not feeling so hot.”

43. “Honey you’ve lost your colour sweets you very pale.”

44. “Honey we need to get you checked out”

45. “It’s alright love I know you didn’t mean to.”

46. “Its ok you’ll be alright. Im right here.”

47. “I need you to tell me if your going to be sick again.”

48. “That doesn’t sound good.”

49. “Don’t lie to me I know somethings wrong.”

50. “How about you tell me the truth this time.”

51. “If the next thing you say is a lie I will leave you here by yourself.”

52. “Sweets you feel like a furnace I need you to let me check your temp.”

53. “Please let me look after you.”

54. “At this rate your going to collapse.”

55. “Stop running yourself into the ground.”

56. “I’ll always be here to pick up the pieces. Always.”

57. “One hug then you need to let me get up so i can look after you.”

58. “Darling come here, you clearly need cuddles.”

59. “I don’t care if your sick nothing will stop me hugging you love.”

60. “If you don’t come back to bed I won’t give you cuddles for a week.”

61. “How dare you threaten my cuddles. That’s low even for you.”

Scenarios

a. spontaneous collapse

b. acts like a child when sick

c. difficult when sick

d. insists their ok

e. cant speak so uses sign language

f. suffers in silence

g. hiding illness / injury

h. throwing up in bed

i. throwing up on someone

j. throwing up on the floor

k. bleeding on sheets (period)

l. bleeding through suit / clothes (period)

m. hiding cramps

n. hiding that their on their period

o. shaking hands

p. shaking body

q. fever + sweaty

r. needs to be carried everywhere

s. needy when sick

t. wandering around confused when sick

u. confused when sick

v. waking up confused.

w. Forehead kisses

x. Nightmare

y. Fever dreams

z. Cant walk properly

AA. Broken bones

AB. forehead kisses

AC. sniffles

[fuckmeyer]

hoo boyo so i'm the small writing human o/ *waves*

thank you for your response and i just took the time to read through your Jacob black's life matters and how smeyer killed him and i found it super interesting. (also it literally excites me seeing the quotes with the page numbers🤤). -----anyway back on track now. so i've always hd a liking for twilight since i watched the movies when they released (i would have been like 10..?) because i generally like the genre it falls in to. back in feb i watched all the movies again with my mum and she owns all the books so i started to read Twilight and pretty much loved it (i'm easily pleased). it took me like three weeks to get through it which is pretty average for me (attention span..) but then when i picked up New Moon i could barely put it down. i read it in 4 days which is the fastest ive ever read a book by a looong shot. i kind of fell off with reading eclipse... it took me almost 2 whole months to get through which just shows.

i think in hindsight one of the reasons i actually love New Moon (book) more than the rest is that there isnt really a 'set in stone villain' (twilight has james, eclipse has the newborns//victoria, then BD has the volturi. i suppose edward is the only thing that could class as a villan that book but thats not my point i think i enjoyed it more because of the time we get to spend with bella and jacobs characters . . . (quick side note that i watched the movies after finishing the books and new moon has no justice i feel like it washes over the effect jacob had on bringing bella "back to life" so much. so upsetting)

anyhoodles. i think i enjoy Twilight to set up B&E, then New Moon to set up B&J, then as you say in the crit Eclipse just kind of forces you to choose. and it makes sense. after just watching the movies i cant see a way in hell anyone would be team jacob---but having read the books its a whole different story. but then again... smeyer.... yeah.

sorry this has been such a long ask and doesnt really have a question involved, feel free to not post a response as i understand it's long:')

as a last note while i think of it i think that Eclipse for me fell off in that i didnt particularly care about what it was doing. i liked reading about bella and edward in twilight and then bella and jacob in new moon and i just didnt really care for most of eclipse. but maybe thats because i fell in love with bella and jacob from new moon and then had the character sabotaged.. heavy sigh. i think it says a lot that ive had a fan art of bella and jacob walking along the beach as my phone wallpaper since i read new moon so that says it all really.

i apologise once again for the length of this. ---if you wanna see the fan art wallpaper ill find it and reblog it so its at the top of my page.

p(p?)s. i'm glad it's sunny there! it's rained here the last couple days :c

hello tiny writing human! glad to have you back :)

glad you liked the analysis! & the books. New Moon is my favorite too, & i definitely agree with you that part of the appeal is the internal struggle Bella faces. we do get Victoria in the background & the werewolves, but really the whole book is about Bella learning to cope with 1) being a human in a supernatural world 2) her grief of being alone [i.e. without Edward] in this new world. watching her pick up the pieces of her life & build something new & beautiful & imperfect with Jacob was cathartic & relatable - v much a triumph in a series so rooted in the fantastical.

& it's hard to watch Eclipse become this struggle between two boys. because really, it's not about Edward or Jacob. Bella's choice is about whether she wants to give up everything for this cold, "perfect," monstrous, immortal life; or, whether she wants to stick around & build something warm & human & imperfect & finite with Jacob.

by twisting Jacob's character from the symbols of sunshine & values of humanity he represents into a bad-boy supernatural love interest competing with Edward for Bella's affection, it erases some of the characterization that we have come to expect & love in Jacob. because when Meyer positions him as a love interest, he's not embodying the traits as a friend; he's embodying the traits of what Meyer thinks is formidable love interest and rival to Edward: confident, cocky, aggressive, persistent... Jacob becomes nothing more than a 2000s-era (& before) trope of how men in our society "should" act towards women. so, everything we came to knew about Jacob was morphed into this friend/lover hybrid that just didn't work for who he was. he is Jacob...but he is not our Jacob.

(& the movies did him even worse because the "slice of life" B/J scenes we get were mostly cut.)

anyway, thanks for coming back & letting me rant about one of my favorite characters & my fave book :)

[yuukei-yikes]

Been thinking about what kind of interaction haruka and seto would have since they never spoke with each other (from what i know), but i think they'd be the cutest together because they're both so... idk i just love them (they are my wiwis you have to understand). Setomary harutaka double date would be insane, like, picture this: while haruka and seto would probably be talking about how much they love their girlfriends (they are full of love and whimsical feelings), takane would be like "how tf do i start conversation with this lovecraftian ass creature (with due respect)" because mary wouldn't know what to say either BUT SHE WANTS TO SHE'S JUST REALLY SHY 😔😔😔

oh i got GREAT NEWS for you

you know im always talking about post str haruka keeping a little distance from the dan cuz he knows them but they dont know him and etc etc etc etc. well! i actually hc that outside takane shintaro and ayano of course, SETO is the one member of the dan haruka is very good friends with in early post str. and thats cuz.... he is also the one member of the dan (again outside the quartet)haruka has actually spoken to before being konoha!!! its time for me to talk about the novels again❤️

IM ABT TO KAGEXPLAIN TO YOU BUT ILL GET TO SETOMARY & HARUTAKA AT THE END and my hcs on their dynamics :3 but first let me tell u abt seto&haruka's and mary&takanes friendships. spoilers duh

in the sixth novel, haruka stays over at kenjirou's house for 1 week while he works on the game with him. there haruka meets ayano for the first time, and finds out mr tateyama has FOUR kids. despite haruka is pranked a little by these mysterious 3 siblings he never meets them directly. its rly funny cuz haruka's like can i introduce myself to them i mean im gonna be staying for a week. and ayano's like WHAT. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. and harukas like ok damn i guess i wont meet them

but haruka DOES meet seto during his stay! its one of my FAVORITE chapters of the whole novel. this bit has a 2 page illustration cmon!!!!!!! SETOS HAMSTER BITES HARUKAS FOOT

ok erm anyway. chapter summary of seto&haruka's interaction: haruka went to buy some snacks at the convenience store at night, and when he comes in seto's hamster hanao BITES his damn foot!!!!!! (attacker shown on pic) seto rushes right over like NOOOO HANAOOO

haruka and seto share an awkward greeting bc seto wants to run away asap but haruka's rly desperate to meet him so he invites him to eat the free pudding he won at the grocery store and seto accepts. then they sit and chat while eating pudding :3

haruka invites seto to come to the festival, seto thanks him but says he cant bc he's bad with crowds and he also has a job interview for being a part time paperboy. he assures him his other siblings will show up (as we know, kido and kano do show up but haruka never knew they were ayano and setos siblings at that point!!!)

when seto starts talking abt this job interview he mentions his mom is dead. in that conversation haruka finds out about ayaka. idk about the original line in japanese, but haruka says "mr tateyama's wife is dead?" because of course from his pov the shock comes from his relationship with kenjirou. he feels rly bad that kenjirou acts all happy and normal at school while going through this. seto acts surprised haruka didn't know

haruka expresses sadness over being such a pain for kenjirou then, but seto says that's not true and that kenjirou talks about him all the time. *pretends to be normal about kenjirou*

seto reveals kenjirou called haruka his pride and joy while drunk, which makes haruka tear up. while drunk he also said he'd bring haruka over to make him be ayano's boyfriend lmao and seto says he and kano&kido freaked out about it and were like WE WILL PROTECT U FOR THIS GUY NEECHAN😡😡😡 WHICH IS LIKE. A LAYER OF CONTEXT TO A BIT THAT HAPPENS EARLIER IN THE NOVEL bc they give haruka A REALLY HARD TIME when he arrives and its basically implied they did this bc they were afraid he was gonna hit on ayano lol (jin jokes in his author's notes he literally wanted haruka to hit on ayano literally for shit and giggles but his editor was like dude this is ooc can you take this fucking seriously)

it's also implied seto read haruka's mind when he arrived and since haruka had been thinking of takane and being kind of... he was like her hair her eyes her lips etcetc he was just.... being a 16 year old about it. and seto assumed it was about ayano, told his siblings and there kano went in disguised as ayano to give haruka a piece of his mind. honestly read the sixth novel its hilarious idk if its cuz its a novel with all my faves but its one of the best erm anyways back to the pudding chapter

before seto goes his eye power activates and he basically almost collapses or something. haruka gets rly worried but seto is able to calm down and he leaves. i hc that in this scene seto found out haruka was dying. i dont have proof other than seto probably read his mind there. but i like the hc😄

anyways!! fast forward to the end of the eighth novel, seto (and mary and hibiya) are in the real world while literally everyone else is dead inside the daze. they make a phonecall because of reasons i wont explain and everyone is screaming into it trying to talk to the outside guys, and haruka has a single line where he says "kousuke its me haruka!!!!! remember when we had that pudding together 2 years ago!!!!" hehe its so cute im so glad jin added that

basically. haruka and seto BEST FRIENDS. when haruka is back post str he would be very comfortable with seto and seto would for sure approach haruka and hang out with him. i definitely think haruka's the closest to seto outside of the yuukei quartet!!! like come on theyd be such good friends🥺 i was thinking of harutaka cat last night and i 1000% think seto is the one to find them a pet. seto is always taking haruka to see cats

NOW!!! MARY&TAKANE!!! they definitely don't have as much interaction as haruka&seto bc jin would rather die than write proper scenes for his female characters alone However it is said they hit it off immediately when they meet! ene makes an unforgettable comment abt mary and momo being gay which mary doesnt understand and momo like a good kisaragi wants to kill ene. anyways thats a little funny one

ill talk what i remember the most! the fourth novel: shintaro wakes up and finds mary complaining she can't talk to ene and it turns out shintaro's phone has no battery. shintaro explains the concept of a Charger and Electricity and Mary's like whoa ene eats some weird stuff huh

so she starts looking for a charger. shintaro tells her not to hurry bc theyre better off without her anyways and mary gets mad at him and tells him to stop MEAN to ene!!!!! and says she must ALSO feel lonely in there!!!! and shintaro's like o_o!! ok damn!!!!

that's the only mary&takane i can think of. but they're really good friends i think takane's as much of a tease to her as she is to everyone but mary doesnt always understand LOL but they get along well :3 theyre besties :3 like for real mary momo & ene have a girl gang that could rule the world.

then mary finds some snakeskin in a drawer with the charger and shintaro and kido almost shit their pants etcetc BUT when mary got mad, shintaro has some rly cute thoughts about ene. he remarks how absolutely no one in the dan ever questioned what the hell is ene or how she works, bc theyre all weirdos so of course they dont question other weirdos(and one of my fave shinene lines, where shintaro admits hes developed an affinity for her and that it's because of her he met all these nice people and she might as well be his salvation *fucking explodes*) anyways. he thinks ofc mary and ene hit it off. i think its so cute that mary wanted to talk to ene and just took shintaros phone to do it!!

anyways. THEYRE ALL BEST FRIENDS :3 :3 :3 :3 setomary & harutaka double date is totally possible. and we should get seto&takane to be best friends too like i think theyd be sooooo funny together. i ALWAYS say when takane gets her body back there is no way she could walk so comfortably like she does and since seto (and kano) are there i hc seto carries her back to the hideout from the lab💥💥💥

harutaka & setomary is so funny since ive been in the fandom for so long i can tell u people always compared them like the insane pda ones and though i dont rly agree with that i still think its a funny and nostalgic hc. i think itd be cute if seto told haruka he likes mary but no one else. like everyone KNOWS. duh. but he tells haruka IDK I LIKE THIS HC Because kano and kido will tease him and ayano and mary are awkward with each other (bc i say so) so seto tells haruka like omg i have a crush on mary ://3 and haruka's like omg no way whats ur fave thing about her *kicks feet* they should get to talk abt their crushes together OKAY.

i do think haruka&takane start dating pretty soon or are dating in whatever moment seto comes to haruka to talk abt mary so idk i think its cute if seto went to haruka also bc he's like. hes the only person i know who has a partner 🫡 i like a lot of ships that i think happen eventually and all have their own shitshows and moments but i think haruka&takane are the very first to get together and everyones like yeah. they're the couple ig. Ok sorry someone hold me down before i start talking again about harutaka being the romance love story of kagepro

ermmm basically yes best friends!!!!!

[ifthestarsarewilling]

Oc Lore- COG

this has a lot of religious stuff (christian mostly) so if that makes you uncomfortable i wouldn't read it.

but if your okay with it, lets go!

aight, ill start with a basic run down of the story before i get into my ocs because some things wont make much sense otherwise

COG is a visual novel type thing exploring the relationship between a creator and their creations. in this case, the creator would be me (hi yes. me) and the creations are the ocs ill be talking about in a bit. you/the player play through a week, choosing who to talk to and eventually, the four of you go on a road trip. the person whos philosophies/relationship with me you relate to the most drives (you sit in the front seat) and when you get to your destination (the sky, where in universe me lives) you... well ill get to that after doing ocs. then there are four endings:

i kill the four of you and your all reborn into new, animalistic bodies, but i also die

i destroy the universe and you all with it, and i let myself live and create another, better universe

you're all sent back down with boons of some sort and ways to contact me at any time

you all stay with me and become more god-like beings

and thats about it. anyways oc time now!!

--

Oc 1: Patrick (Pat)

pat, he/him, late twenties/early thirties, straight agender

hes a farmer who keeps bees! kinda like a cowboy. he has a pickup truck-like thing (this is MY fantasy world and i can make him have a magic cart that's basically a truck if i want) and lets you sit in the back. also gives you free honey.

hes a proper country lad, quite smart but cant be bothered to do anything with it. also absolutely JACKED like i mean MUSCLES all over this bad boy

he had a femme phase when he was younger, right after his parents died. still has some of the dresses

he likes me. his whole deal is 'hey, you were kinda an awful mom, but i mean you weren't really to blame. gave us all free will and stuff. please talk to me mom'

hes cool. i love my farmer son

--

Oc 2: The Mermaid

the mermaid, she/her, around one fifty, cishet

shes like, really unhealthily christian. now theres nothing wrong with being christian, but shes just using it as an unhealthy coping mechanism.

so basically she had to leave the ocean and become a human after a lot of pollution ruined her home. now, being... yknow. ex-mermaid, she was treated kinda badly by the humans she first met. and so she converted to christianity to try and fit in! didnt really work though...

so she went mad from her hopelessness. prayed for days upon end without sleeping until her (not humanlike) form became twisted and eldritch from starvation. shes obsessed with being human.

so yeah.

she prays a lot. tries to convert people. considers me a false god and would kill me if given the opportunity.

--

Oc 3: Rose

rose, it/its, 17, aromantic pansexual genderqueer

it wants to kill me :3

okay so basically its just... sad? lots of angst here.

its parents were killed in a hate crime (it had two dads) and it was left to raise itself. obviously it found out about my existence, and sort of went "hey, you. why did you let my parents die?" and after receiving no response it is now trying to kill me.

its good at metalworking! the knife in the picture is made by it, as is the necklace and earrings its wearing.

@n3bu-la you wanted to see this?? here you goo sorry it took me so long lol

it is also lactose intolerant and dies its hair. naturally its got straight black hair it basically fried it lol

--

[rottytops]

i definitely think the adhd medication (successfully) rewired my brain and made me seek out long term goals over short term pleasure like i have been literally my entire life so now my current goals are to unfuck my credit to move away from my shitty roomies, get my new car and actually get into an ltr lmao

SUPRISINGLY ENOUGH 2 of these 3 goals are either in progress or very obtainable ive been saving a tunna cash and i can get a new car next month after i get my license renewed and ive found this cute little studio that i can maybe move into if i get help co-signing it, then ill just camp out there until my loans are paid off in 50000 years

the last one though.,,,,its so weird. the like. burning fervor to date someone long term kinda slugged me in the back of the head! ive always WANTED a nice relationship but it was never a PRIORITY to me bc i had video games or whatever. these new feelings made me realize ive been living my life like. entirely for myself which is FINE but my standards for myself (combined with how ADHD made me content with literally anything as long as it was easy) make me like. gutter trash tier as a partner, i think. essentially as i am now, unless the other person is equal parts deranged and shitty, im utterly unlovable which is like. tough tits i guess. but if im honest about it i can at least try to change it. part of me is conflicted; if i have to change myself to become more datable, is the person really dating me, or am i just creating a false persona to get conditional love. its a scary thought but at the same time im not really changing MYSELF past getting in shape and taking care of my skin, its more im giving up on being a dopamine addicted manchild and getting my own apartment. with my own car and stuff...these are actually just completely normal goals to have and i already wanted them i just kinda have new motivation for it lmao!

you cant just force a relationship and theres no way im attracting the hoes to me in my shitty room, so i think i need to??? go??? outside??? and hang out with ppl??? utterly mortifying but when i get my car next month i think i can actually do that. id like to make more irl friends as well, i had a bunch of friends in college so. i guess ill go to more smash locals or something but outside of that sigh sigh i have no idea.

these major revelations have all hit me in like the past 2 weeks, since i started my medication and the dosage was upped, i have a lot of work to do and not that much time to do it, really!!!! i hope i can become someone like. worth keeping around in a few months time...!!! the pieces are there i just need to like, put them together....



i could write a whole thing on how mad i am that it took me so long to get medicated and how fast i became a Normal Person after being on meds but like idk that line of thinking doesnt help anybody...!! i accomplished so much even with my debilitating ADHD and now i can do so much more with a mindset that can actually handle the shit neurotypical people expect me to be able to do, considering how im literally good at everything, combined with how ive managed to survive this long with almost no real help from irl people (seriously ive gotten more assistance from my online friends than literally anybody in my family both financially and emotionally) means that me WITH medication is gonna go absolutely insane. im going to be like ultra rich this time next year, probably LMAO....or at least have a boyfriend AURHUFG



anyway if u read this for some reason i love u and also give me ideas on going out and meeting people, i think i can hold a conversation just fine but where do people even GO. do you guys think ppl at bars or whatever know about disgaea. hmmm.

[cicadangel]

erm.! diary 12/4

hi i havent been online in a bit or written any diary entries recently bc well i was really depressed and then i just like forgot or whatever. but uhmmm life updates sorta/just how im doing right now.

i will start with the good news :-) i am not depressed! ive been feeling good pretty consistently for the past 2 weeks i think? ive been happy enough to be able to function normally and do all the stuff i need to do. also school swim started so i got to see my crush (the one i talked abt a bunch last year) and i actually need him so bad he's so fine i need him. not much has happened w him (in terms of moments or whatever) but it will soon trust!!!!!! also ive been feeling a bit more confident lately in terms of how i think guys percieve me so i hope maybe that will inspire me to make a move but probably not. oh well.

as for everything else. well. i have been having issues with that one bitch "friend" ofc hoping to hit her with a car sometime soon. but thats not rly new ig. i am kind of having issues too tho with one of my other friends bc he's being weird and annoying. recently hes been extremely sensitive abt just everything which is whatever except he won't tell me, he'll just get upset and try to get me to ask him if he's upset except i won't play that game ugghhhhh if u have a problem with me tell me bc i wont understand otherwise!!! i cannot possibly fathom what he's got wrong with him about me so im not even gonna try. if he wants to fix it he can use his words otherwise no bueno it is not happening!!!!

he's also been like. weird to me recently. we're in psychology class together and we're gonna be at the "abnormal behavior" unit soon (which is mental illnesses) and he keeps saying ohhhh we're almost at your unit we're almost there when it's like stop thats actually so annoying. i am abnormal and crazy but that's not ur place to say? i dont talk to my friends abt my mental illness struggles but i guess it is obvious there's smth wrong with me or whatever but it's just annoying. i will talk abt how im against involuntary commitment to psych wards and how sooooo many therapists only end up doing more harm than good and my problems with the whole mental health industry and the modern understanding of it bc it's smth im rly passionate abt, but he just brushes me off as if i dont have first hand experience with all of the terrible ways psychiatry and the mental health industry can fuck people up???? i also feel weird talking to him in general sometimes bc i know he'll bring me up to his therapist (because he constantly mentions it) and i feel like i cant talk to him bc he's gonna tell her and that just puts a weird strain on the relationship. like his therapist knows me, but just from his pov and that kinda weirds me out im ngl.

oh i also got in a fight w my mom today. actually we're still fighting. it was over something soooo insignificant but i got so overly angry like i always do and now im going to make it ruin the rest of my day because i am insufferable. she's just been really angering me lately also ive been feeling destructive which is complicated. i dont rly like the term "splitting" but it's def what ive been doing a lot lately. ugh. also i like dont know what to do with my bpd "diagnosis" it makes me angry and like i just have so many problems with it in so many ways REGARDLESS if i actually have it or whatever which i could talk abt for hours. in some ways it's nice to have a label for what ive been going through my whole life but in most ways i am like not too happy with the fact that ive been handed a disqualification from ever being upset again. if i am, it'll just be because im a crazy borderline! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. more on that whole mess later sorry

[cold-r-ain-in-june]

so a few weeks ago @steadfast sent me an ask wondering how i manage to gather the pieces of media for my web weavings

unfortunately,  it just happened that when you sent me that ask i was one foot in the grave with a fever and ever since i got better i've been procrastinating writing you a reply since i wanted to give you my best answer

double unfortunately, tumblr decided to delete the post and your ask when i was almost done, so i'll try to write it again even though i'm frustrated over the original getting deleted so bear with me

so to start off, i happen to suffer from the horrible condition called sometimes-i-feel-things-so-strongly-i-want-to-cut-open-my-skin-to-let-them-out. a horrible illness really. things like anger or missing my ex or chronic sadness. sometimes, rarely, it happens to be love, though much less often then i would like.

basically, i bottle things up to the point in which i cant help but see them everything. i see a random poem on my instagram feed, i listen to a song on the bus and one of the lyrics clicks like it never had before, a scene from a movie a watched 3 years ago comes to haunt me at night when i cant sleep.

so i gather them, sometimes, i make new folders for them, other times i am so lazy and messy i just let them get lost and rot with the other 10k of screenshots i have on my phone.

obviously, i also have to outright search for things, but i dont even do it for the sake of creating a web weaving post at first. i just feel one thing so deeply i have to look up proof that people have been also feeling this thing for thousands of years and theyve all dealt with it. i mostly search them here on tumblr and sometimes pinterest. words like "friendship", like "medea", like "toxic siblings", they can all open doors to pieces of media you have never heard of before, but which contain a three line dialogue youd kill for from the first time you read it. this all very tricky, evidently, at times, things simply dont match with the way you actually feel, no matter how much you search for them, but stitching them together can give you this almost perfect thing that mirrors your soul.

i also happen to be the kind of person who screenshots everything they think its relevant. and its good that i have really low standards for relevance. thats how i end up diving in my screenshots pile, when i feel like my web searching is failing, and sometimes i get lucky enough and i find a line i collected 2 years ago that matches exactly how i feel in that moment.

you've also mentioned the question of whenever i memorize book passages, and the answer is somewhere between yes and no. while, when i read i heavily annotate my books, im not a big fan of memorising outright passages (my brain is mush lets be honest, i cant fry it even more with overloading), and i dont write them down or anything, but i do however manage to memorize the overall idea of passages that stick to me. liek i can tell that x book has some quote about y thing even if i dont remember it outright. then i try to look it up, i use goodreads mostly (which is a bitch on mobile but you can work your way around if you search shit on web AND THEN you open it with the app) and google books when it decides to be helpful every once in a while, and if neither of those work, THEN, i open my edition and try to look for it because im lazy like that.

another site i really like, and its obvious in my web weavings is gentle.earth!! which, now that i say it, i actually havent visited it in a while but since i remembered it exists ill probably stalk it for the next few weeks. it's an anymous site on which everyone can confess things that hang heavy on them and some of them get to be displayed on the page after the entires are curated. its a really pretty thing to look through

now that i covered the bases of obtaining the materials for the web weaving, which i think i can boil down to 1. hysterical search mission and 2. hoarding every piece of media you come across, i will also add that at least for me personall, putting them in order for is a pain in the ass (which is also the maine reason i havent made a web weaving in almost a year even though i have the materials ready). i dont know if other people who do this kind of things are as press as i am about the order in which each post go and the way the different shades of the same idea interwine and bullshit bullshit or if im just mental. but yeah its also a really important step for me, its basically the polish of the post ig

also the biggest problem with the hoarding strategy is spending 2 days looking for a source because your past self was too lazy to also screenshot the source. thats also a bitch

anyway, i honestly i have no idea if youll find anything helpful here, or if i just used your ask to moan about my struggles but its 3 am over here and honestly this is the best ive got. thank you for the ask though, i do love getting ask even if it takes me two decades to answer them <3