#really cant get over the news that ill be starting in 2 weeks

[catherea]

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[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[dollyhao]

ameliorate; to make better

pairing: dina x reader

summary: dina is overwhelmed by all the things that happened in seattle…. and ellie, and being a single mother doesn’t make it any easier. when a sweet woman comes to make her life easier...better.

toni's note: there's nothing to warn about besides a bit angst, it doesn't really get angsty till the next part. im hoping i can make this into 3 parts. thank you for 800 followers by the way!

word count: 1k

you hear the sound of a wailing baby as you make your way back home, you follow the sound. you cant be too sure about these kinda things, what if something bad happened. you stumble upon dina rocking baby jj in a rocking chair on her porch, shushing him trying to console him. dina looks tired and overwhelmed, dark circles under her eyes and unbrushed hair.

you approach her gently not wanting to startle her, “hey, can i try?” you give her a gentle smile pointing at jj. dina tucks a piece of hair behind her ear nodding, “y-yea sure. you can try, hes been crying a lot lately.” you reach for jj bouncing and rocking in a comforting rhythm, chanting soft shushes. jj quiets down letting out a calm gurgle. you look back up at dina seeing her rub her hands down her face in an exhausted manner.

she chuckles, “i cant even get my son to be quiet let alone sleep, ellie was really good at that..” she puts her elbows on her knees putting her face in her hands. you stay quiet letting her have her moment, still rocking jj as he starts to doze off. dina seems to regroup, looking back up at you curiously, “would you like to come in? its getting cold out here.” dina offers standing up. “yea, thanks.”

dina walks into the house and you follow, “no. thank you. i appreciate what you did. “ “where’s his bed?” you ask now that jj is fast asleep. “he sleeps with me, the room is down the hall.” you go to the room, laying jj down, making sure hes comfortable before leaving the room. dina is in the kitchen making herself a cup of tea, “would you like some?” she glances at you over her shoulder. “yes please.” you stand awkwardly, hands in your back pockets swaying a little. she nods over to the living room with 2 cups in her hands. you follow taking a seat on the couch as she hands you a cup.

you thank her, taking a sip. “are you new to jackson? i dont remember ever seeing you before.” you chuckle, “no im not new, ive been here for years now.” you give a shy smile. “oh im sorry, i cant believe ive never noticed you.” “its fine. i preferred to stay to myself anyway. i work at the school. im a teacher,” you sit your cup down looking at her, “i always wanted to approach you, i thought you were beautiful. but you were dating jesse and then after you and jesse broke up, you and ellie made a nice little scene at the party.” you chuckle watching her face flush slightly. “also, im sorry about jesse…. and ellie.” she nods, quiet for a minute before replying. “thank you, for the jesse and ellie thing… and for calling me beautiful.” you smile at her.

you look outside seeing how dark it was getting, “i should get going.” you say standing up. dina stands up too, “thank you again. he probably would’ve cried through the night.” “of course, just let me know if you need my help again. ill be happy to help.” you walk backwards as you talk smiling at her until you run into a wall. “ah, shit..” you say rubbing the back of your head. dina laughs and follows you to the door as you turn around and walk correctly. “ill be sure to ask for your help again.” she says giving you a soft, genuine smile.

a week later, you walk into the dining hall as maria is walking out, “hey maria, is there anything you needed from me?” you wanted to make sure there wasn’t something you were suppose to be doing that you forgot about. “no. nothing that i can remember. im about to take this to dina, i wanna make sure shes staying fed.” “ill take it to her!” you say a little too eagerly for your taste. for the last week, you’ve been trying to find any excuse to visit dina and jj when you weren’t busy. dina doesn’t seem to ever object to the company. she appreciates you coming around and talking to her and playing with the baby. so when this opportunity pops up, of course your gonna take it. “let me grab myself a plate and ill take hers to her.” you say taking the plate out her hands. “well ok. thank you.” you smile before walking away.

you get to dina’s door knocking with the two plates in your hands. dina opens the door looking a little breathless, “oh, hey.” she gives you one of her soft smiles shes been giving you quite a lot. “hey, i brought you food. not sure if you ate or not.” “right.. food. i definitely forgot to eat. “ she says rubbing a hand through her hair. she gives another small smile, but this one doesn’t reach her eyes. “thats ok. i have food for you, lets not dwell to much on a honest mistake. k?” she nods. you hear a baby cry in the background, “i see you have two plates. wanna come in and eat? i was just feeding jj.” “id love to” you respond walking in.

you guys walk to the dining table where you find jj in a high chair. “hey baby boy!” you say tickling his belly, he lets out a squeal/giggle. you and dina sit on either sides of him after a minute, you see dina subtly go to smell herself. she lets out a wince, “um do you mind feeding him while i go take a shower.” you nod, “of course.” you say as you slide his food bowl over to yourself. you give dina a reassuring smile letting her know its ok.

when dina gets out the shower and is dressed, she walks in the living room while brushing her hair seeing you and jj on the carpet in her living room playing. she smiles, it felt good being able to enjoy a shower without rushing out to jj. she trusts you with jj almost the way she trusted ellie with him. yall look her way, both you and jj smiling at her. she comes and joins, both of you enjoying the sweet giggles of the cute baby.

(part 1)

[xoxitgirl]

⊹₊ ⋆ seasons results! ⊹ ࣪ ˖

⟡ part one ⟡

so usually I try to write it down from the day i start and document the results from then but I literally forgot lmaoo so heres it broken down into every couple days/every week! ima keep this method tho ngl because its so useful but this is probably gonna be a long post bc i wanna be as raw as possible w ya’ll.

season one: jdnavsthewrld ⋆𐙚 ₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡

overview

so first and foremost—my season is going to be filled with all of my designs blowing up, making hundreds of dollars a week, improving my relationship with my boyfriend, and getting a new charger. I wrote out everything in detail so that way it was easier for me to understand exactly what I want like shipping out orders and stuff in my new car, taking a trip to NY, collaborating with some designers that I really like + meeting some designers as well, having hella photo shoots, etc! so it starts off with me getting a new car, it’s easier for me to process all of my orders and get yarn/make clothing just because I have a more efficient car.

dec 3-10

this week was full of me reminding myself im living in my season and my whole idea is about my buisness blowing up and a new carr so ngl its already blown up a little cause someone posted my skirt but it slowed down and now its picking back up. one thing that I’m trying to remember is that I’m not going to know how good it is to have a lot of sales unless I know what it’s like to have lower sales like understanding the duality of owning a business that not every single day you’re going to have the most ideal amount of sales, but that time to be creative and breathe will definitely lead you to that outcome in the long run. I made 4 sales this week so its definitely making me feel a little like imposter syndrome like this cant be happening blah blah blah but I quickly redirected my thoughts to, “what happens in my season? my business was meant to blow up, this is what I’m meant to be doing.”

dec 11-18

okay I made 6 more sales, when I started I had 25 now I’m at 35 so I feel hella confident because I’m constantly falling asleep doing SATS. I can literally feel all the excitement and anxiety and nerves that come with an abundance of success. I sold my biggest custom order to a new client, this two piece set and a fur skirt so I’m like damn. its only bigger and better from here. another thing I added was me and my boyfriend are getting better and connecting more and I feel like our relationship is definitely growing in a healthier way. I made around $300 this week from my pieces so I cant even be upset if I wanted to (,:

dec 19-25

so okay new updateee I sold another 3 item set so I made another $100 this week, mind you im writing this the 21st so the week’s not even over yet, and I feel hella confident in my season. I finally finished drafting everything thats happening. im also having a lot of fun maintaining that it’s already mine. I literally spend so much time vaunting. I was meant to be a designer. of course I have sales, im that bitch. people loovee my clothes cause who else is doing it like me? literally nobodyy. this is what gets me to feel more confident too, if you’re not reassuring yourself who is yk? and my relationship is sooo goodd 🥺 like its been so peaceful and my bf has been surprising me with pinterest dates and shit like what is my lifee!!

ima come back and update after my moms bday, I always have a routine for the new year which is expelling all old energy. like cleaning my room, donating clothes, i also sage everything, make new sigils, wash my hair and alll my clothes so yeah lol i have a feeling the new energy will be beautiful.

dec 26-jan 2

okay I’ve been learning how to sew and I’ve been getting really really good at it. like making my own pieces by myself—before I used to have my mom help me, but now I actually know how to sew fr. I wanna show y’all so ill insert some things ive made/been making. ngl tho I think ima give it like a week or so more to really saturate my mind because I been listening to this sub by slade and its really been helping but I gotta focus on consistency! so thats really what im focusing on through the 15th so more updates around then!! my goal is to have more posts and get ready for a mini photoshoot.

jan 3-jan 12

jan 4th.. coming up with designs that are exactly what I envision/things that ive never seen knit or done in this style. made my collab post but skeptical about when I should make my collab collection so well see but I feel like the things im making rn are multimillion dollar designs like I can feel it in my core. also about to clean my car out soon to trade my car in for the charger of my dreams, apparently my parents were looking for chargers for monthsss and didn’t tell me cause they wanted to surprise me.. for reference y’all I literally have a charger sub i made 5 months ago and was so in my head about it but now i feel like my mind is fully saturated. every time I drive, it feels like im already in a new car, I imagine it in the driveway. I already have it in the 4d so its beyond mine in the 3d.

jan 7.. omg so update, I literally cleaned my car out today and I’m trading it in on friday like what the fuck is my lifee I knew it would happen but this was the first time where I realy put my foot down and envisioned myself driving the car literally everywhere. I race ppl like im in a charger already lmaoo the planes were bound to align sooner or later!! ill insert how it looks when it gets here yall we might have to order it but this is the first step in my journey—I get my charger, my design acc blows up, and so forth. (;

okay hi guys I made 2 sales recently and I just got my charger, everything literally feels like it’s falling into place and it’s kind of surreal. I think I’m gonna make a part two for my results because this post is getting helllla long but I GOT A 2023 CHARGER STX and tbh I wanted an R/T but the only one I could get was 2015 so im just hella happy I got a brand new car and it looks EXACTLY HOW I WANT—black rims, spoiler, it looks so mean!!! ugh im in love. peep my noface air freshener from my last car (,: and it only has 10 miles yall… I love using seasons so much

next post coming by valentines day! 💋

itgirl ⊹ ࣪ ˖

[werebutch]

I cant wait to move out im going to suffer so much but ill also have so much that i dont right now. Im so glad i found my love of cooking recently its so so fulfilling. I’m so excited for school and im so nervous. I’m so excited to make friends again and have a schedule. Live in my own little world. It’s like so cheesy but im kind of finally starting to get over my thing about dying young. Like since i was 12 i planned to die before i graduated high school (and at 12, i hoped before i completed 8th grade) but its been almost 2 years since i got my diploma. Now i have my little bunnies and a lot of passion for new and old hobbies etc. like up until a little while ago i could not envision a future for myself at all, its like i was genuinely incapable. And i still kinda am, but its slowly getting better at least for now. And idk im a major loser im pretty much freeloading right now i dont really have friends and I haven’t dated in like.. 4 years? Which is insane. But also like a lot of other people are major losers. I’d go as far as to say most people are losers. and ive told myself this so much im starting to believe it so thats good i guess. The suicidal ideation hasn’t gone away but i can deal with it better. Or at least distract myself better. Anyways ive also experimented with art so much the last couple years and it only makes me want to try more mediums. Since becoming less depressed my intense love for the earth just keeps inspiring me more and more and i think i finally have a very abstract idea of what i want to do with my career. Maybe. At least for now i do, which is good. It’ll change and thats fine. I’m honestly really worried about this high ive had for the past couple weeks because im really scared it will all go away. I’m not usually this optimistic and its scaring me big time. I still have so much mental trouble with my body and my relationship with my family those are like the major things. And the loneliness of course. I just really hope i dont like ? Crash? And start feeling horrible again. I dont know what im saying anymore LMFAO i should really write in my journal im just lazy. If u read this all youre a real werebutch fan. Make me feel less scared of college please

[jennilah]

I think i started to follow you bc of tiny!cas, like eons ago, let me tell you seeing you get into different fandoms over the years has been a delight.

I remember seeing post of you going like 'hey these slasher film kinda go hard' and look at you know.

I mean this in the best way possible, I feel i've been watching a house plant grow, every now and then catching my attention and being amazed by the changes

omg thats such a sweet way of describing my... well happy autism awareness day everyone, its a nice way of describing the way i naturally transition through my Special Interests lmfao

actually, for the holiday, let me infodump about this very aspect of my brain to anyone who isnt aware how this works for me. (also every autistic person is different, so this is just how this symptom manifests in me)

ill say "phases" to simplify, though thats an unfair word because it implies im "over" my past phases. 99% of my past phases are pretty much there for life, but in the back of my mind. (So long as I didnt have a "bad breakup" with it for some reason, which is rare but happens) The ability to become a raving lunatic about it is dormant until someone asks the right question.

There can only be one interest (sometimes 2, with one being the less dominant one) at the forefront of my brain at a time, though. that defines the "phase".

so for example, my recent Halloween phase is "over" and I am 100% fully into Saw now, but I still absolutely love Halloween and Michael and Jason and all those guys. as evident by me still happily sharing gifsets and art and buying merch etc if it tickles my fancy. They're just hanging out in the background of my mental display case.

yea whoever follows my tumblr for a very long time has watched it happen in realtime. the transition between interests. i know for a fact which phase I started this blog on. if you're here from the beginning, youve seen, in order:

-Durarara!! -Deus Ex -Supernatural -Godzilla -Detroit: Become Human -There was like a few weeks where it was HLVRAI -And then it was plants. There was a year-long stretch with no Special Interest and I was latching onto odd things (and I was very inactive here) -Halloween & Friday the 13th -and now, Saw

I have many other things I love, but they don't clamp around my brain in quite the same extreme way.

my phases can last any amount of time, anywhere from a few short intense months to 5+ years, its completely random, completely unpredictable. even the interest itself is impossible to predict. its not something i choose, its something that happens to me.

sometimes i avoid watching things for a long time because im still very emotionally attached to my current phase and im genuinely afraid the shiny new thing will replace it. all art or fic ideas for the previous phase? theyll be abandoned. all I will want to create will be related to the new thing. (though I will sometimes draw it anyway, like digging up old toys to play with once in a while. The likelihood just drops considerably)

which is why right now i pretty much put a pause on the other franchises I plan on watching. I'm genuinely gripping onto Saw like someone is tryin to take it from me.

and then sometimes im like "haha yeah right. ill be fine. ill eat my shoe if my brain latches to this" and then put on the movie and by the credits roll im a new person (yes thats what happened with Saw. I really had no idea.)

this is also why im terrified of even just "checking out" things that have, like, a toxic fanbase or something, because i cant stop a new phase from happening if it does. and its really hard to keep it to myself, fuck

(do u know how mad i was when i realized i was attaching to hoffman the evil dirty cop??? i was so scared of drawing him, dudes. but thankfully everyones been cool abt it and we're all very aware of his awfulness & we have fun w it)

and every time my brain changes and i do get obsessed with some new thing, i get really scared and worried and hope I dont bother everyone who followed me for something else :(((( and yet, every time, im absolutely floored by how many people choose to tolerate my newest nonsense and stick around anyway

anyway ive lost the plot of what point i was making here OH YEAH thank you!

tl;dr: that would be the autism! thank you, it WILL happen again! that is a threat! 🥰

[shadyhouse]

venting about work things are AWFUL right now and i just need to scream about it

i got this new job a few months ago thinking that it was gonna help me get out of this financial mess im in, i started with full time hours the first few months and things were good! but suddenly everything is just WORSE now. sure it pays slightly more but i got absolutely no hours this month bc youre expected to "earn" hours bc its all "performance based" like. i work at a fucking gas station. their literal actual excuse for me when i asked about it was "we hired more people during your shift and they wanted full time" so i just get completely thrown under the bus bc you dont deem me deserving of full time hours??? because i dont go extremely above and beyond ???????? AT A GAS STATION???? WHERE I ALREADY DO WHAT IM TOLD AND MAKE SURE ALL MY WORK IS DONE RIGHT AND PROPERLY AND THATS ALL IT HAS TO BE?????

this place's expectations are so high and corporate has their heads so far up their own asses that they treat it like youre working at the greatest establishment ever conceived and youre just undeserving and unappreciative of their generosity if you dont make their brand your entire fucking life. like okay you have this brand recognition but its still a Fucking gas station. this place is so cultish. you have to sell your soul to the company and if you desire a work/life balance or dont take it as seriously as the managers do youre punished for it.

i seriously dont know how i went from working full time to working 3 days in a single month, ive asked for more hours but they expect ME to CALL all the stores in the area to ask if they need help (most of which i cannot get to! because i dont have a car! and they know this!) and even then im only allowed to work for 4 hour shifts bc thats the rules with covering. like seriously what the fuck kind of setup is this. if im gonna spend $15 on a lyft to get to work at least let me work a full shift????????

im on day 5 of 5 days off in a row, and then after tomorrow i have 5 more days off in a row, and then i work an 8 hr shift on wednesday and a 5 hr shift on sunday. which is a day that from the start ive requested off. i have plans that weekend. so theyre straight up ignoring my availability. literally all i did was ask if i could work 8am-4:30pm instead of 6am-2:30pm because i have to wake up at 4am to catch the bus and its been really difficult for me. thats literally all i asked for and now suddenly i get less than 20 hours in a single month.

like this was so abrupt and sudden and i cant think of a single thing that would make them turn on me so hard. i do my job!?!?!? last time i was at work my boss was really short with me for no reason and she even wrote me up for something that 1) i never even got properly trained on 2) for a station that i have asked time and time again to NOT put me on because im NOT good at it. either put me in the kitchen or have me clean or have me stock, dont put me at register because i suck at it and it stresses me out. every single shift ive had for the last 2 weeks has been register. and then they blame me and write me up for things that im actively asking not to do bc i Know ill fuck it up. and we've had conversations about it. i was told that theyd put me in places im more comfortable in. and yet here i am getting written up for stupid reasons over things we've already discussed. they want to fire me SO BADLY

im honestly really upset and i dont know what to do anymore and it sucks bc every job ive had since 2022 has treated me like absolute garbage and i dont know what the fuck im doing wrong????? i start, i get told im a good worker, and then everything does a 180 and im forced to look for a new job. the cycle will never stop this is just what my life is. i dont know what to do or how to fix this. i dont even WANT to work at a gas station im here out of desperation bc my last job that i thought was going to be a career treated me so badly i just left to the first job i could find that paid more 💀

on top of everything my bank account is deep in the negatives and im scared to keep on asking for help because like. im sick of this too!!!! everything sucks!!!! everyone is broke!!!!! the good news i guess is that i applied for a better job at my roommate's place that pays a lot more and its an actual Real job but who knows if thatll actually happen..... ugh only time will tell. things HAVE to get better they NEED to 😭😭

[creative-caramel-coffee]

PROMPTS LIST

Hi welcome to my prompts list, if you have an idea for a fic or would like one of these prompts in a fic let me know the number or letter or both in a request (feel free to use more than one) and I (if your request fits the guidelines) will write it at some point. If you are requesting you don’t have to use a prompt but feel free too. :)

please also look at my do’s and don’ts before requesting :)

DIALOGUE PROMPTS

1. “honey i know you really don’t want to but can you please take your medicine?”

2. “give me that, did you even look at the right dose before you started chugging cold medicine love?”

3. “if you can walk from here to there you can come with.”

4. “dont speak honey i can tell it hurts.”

5. “love you act like a child when your sick”

6. “honey no your not gross, you cant help being sick sweetheart.”

7. “no honey it happens i don’t blame you please don’t cry my sweet.”

8. “what are you doing out of bed my love?”

9. “look at me, hold my hands. breathe with me love your ok.”

10. “do you think you can eat something or will you be sick again my love?”

11. “honey you must be boiling from the inside out here come to bed and let me look at that fever of yours.”

12. “love we need to check your temperature again. i know i know you hate it.”

13. “your looking a bit pale love are you feeling alright, come here.”

14. “let me feel your forehead, no buts, come here.”

15. “this cant be new, love how long have you felt sick?”

16. “i don’t like the sound of that cough, let me hear your breathing my sweet.”

17. “no. you need to be in bed now come here ill carry you back.”

18. “can you walk?”

19. “is it your head?”

20. “if this happens again I’m taking you to the sickbay.”

21. “ready your obviously not capable of walking I’m going to carry you. ready? one two three up!.”

22. “slow sips my love or you’ll be sick again?”

23. “have you taken anything for it?”

24. “come on babe just a nibble its all I’m asking you need to eat something.”

25. “oh love you must feel awful.”

26. “let me see that right now, how did you even do this?”

27. “that sounds like a nasty cold, do you need anything?”

28. “honey you cant come with you can barely walk.”

29. “here put this over your eyes and sleep.”

30. “i got you a cold wash cloth and some pain medicine to help.”

31. “aww love come here.”

32. “is that the grim reaper?”

33. “did you get your period love.”

34. “its ok we can get the blood out.”

35. “honey can you come with me, your bleeding through your shorts.”

36. “come have a bath and i’ll get you something for the cramps.”

37. “oh love its that time of the month isn’t it sweets.”

38. “its ok, a little period blood wont kill me.”

39. “honey the boys haven’t noticed yet but the blood on your suit isn’t from the mission, aunt flo came.”

40. “Love we need to get you changed.”

41. “Um I think im gonna-“

42. “I’ll admit im not feeling so hot.”

43. “Honey you’ve lost your colour sweets you very pale.”

44. “Honey we need to get you checked out”

45. “It’s alright love I know you didn’t mean to.”

46. “Its ok you’ll be alright. Im right here.”

47. “I need you to tell me if your going to be sick again.”

48. “That doesn’t sound good.”

49. “Don’t lie to me I know somethings wrong.”

50. “How about you tell me the truth this time.”

51. “If the next thing you say is a lie I will leave you here by yourself.”

52. “Sweets you feel like a furnace I need you to let me check your temp.”

53. “Please let me look after you.”

54. “At this rate your going to collapse.”

55. “Stop running yourself into the ground.”

56. “I’ll always be here to pick up the pieces. Always.”

57. “One hug then you need to let me get up so i can look after you.”

58. “Darling come here, you clearly need cuddles.”

59. “I don’t care if your sick nothing will stop me hugging you love.”

60. “If you don’t come back to bed I won’t give you cuddles for a week.”

61. “How dare you threaten my cuddles. That’s low even for you.”

Scenarios

a. spontaneous collapse

b. acts like a child when sick

c. difficult when sick

d. insists their ok

e. cant speak so uses sign language

f. suffers in silence

g. hiding illness / injury

h. throwing up in bed

i. throwing up on someone

j. throwing up on the floor

k. bleeding on sheets (period)

l. bleeding through suit / clothes (period)

m. hiding cramps

n. hiding that their on their period

o. shaking hands

p. shaking body

q. fever + sweaty

r. needs to be carried everywhere

s. needy when sick

t. wandering around confused when sick

u. confused when sick

v. waking up confused.

w. Forehead kisses

x. Nightmare

y. Fever dreams

z. Cant walk properly

AA. Broken bones

AB. forehead kisses

AC. sniffles

[fuckmeyer]

hoo boyo so i'm the small writing human o/ *waves*

thank you for your response and i just took the time to read through your Jacob black's life matters and how smeyer killed him and i found it super interesting. (also it literally excites me seeing the quotes with the page numbers🤤). -----anyway back on track now. so i've always hd a liking for twilight since i watched the movies when they released (i would have been like 10..?) because i generally like the genre it falls in to. back in feb i watched all the movies again with my mum and she owns all the books so i started to read Twilight and pretty much loved it (i'm easily pleased). it took me like three weeks to get through it which is pretty average for me (attention span..) but then when i picked up New Moon i could barely put it down. i read it in 4 days which is the fastest ive ever read a book by a looong shot. i kind of fell off with reading eclipse... it took me almost 2 whole months to get through which just shows.

i think in hindsight one of the reasons i actually love New Moon (book) more than the rest is that there isnt really a 'set in stone villain' (twilight has james, eclipse has the newborns//victoria, then BD has the volturi. i suppose edward is the only thing that could class as a villan that book but thats not my point i think i enjoyed it more because of the time we get to spend with bella and jacobs characters . . . (quick side note that i watched the movies after finishing the books and new moon has no justice i feel like it washes over the effect jacob had on bringing bella "back to life" so much. so upsetting)

anyhoodles. i think i enjoy Twilight to set up B&E, then New Moon to set up B&J, then as you say in the crit Eclipse just kind of forces you to choose. and it makes sense. after just watching the movies i cant see a way in hell anyone would be team jacob---but having read the books its a whole different story. but then again... smeyer.... yeah.

sorry this has been such a long ask and doesnt really have a question involved, feel free to not post a response as i understand it's long:')

as a last note while i think of it i think that Eclipse for me fell off in that i didnt particularly care about what it was doing. i liked reading about bella and edward in twilight and then bella and jacob in new moon and i just didnt really care for most of eclipse. but maybe thats because i fell in love with bella and jacob from new moon and then had the character sabotaged.. heavy sigh. i think it says a lot that ive had a fan art of bella and jacob walking along the beach as my phone wallpaper since i read new moon so that says it all really.

i apologise once again for the length of this. ---if you wanna see the fan art wallpaper ill find it and reblog it so its at the top of my page.

p(p?)s. i'm glad it's sunny there! it's rained here the last couple days :c

hello tiny writing human! glad to have you back :)

glad you liked the analysis! & the books. New Moon is my favorite too, & i definitely agree with you that part of the appeal is the internal struggle Bella faces. we do get Victoria in the background & the werewolves, but really the whole book is about Bella learning to cope with 1) being a human in a supernatural world 2) her grief of being alone [i.e. without Edward] in this new world. watching her pick up the pieces of her life & build something new & beautiful & imperfect with Jacob was cathartic & relatable - v much a triumph in a series so rooted in the fantastical.

& it's hard to watch Eclipse become this struggle between two boys. because really, it's not about Edward or Jacob. Bella's choice is about whether she wants to give up everything for this cold, "perfect," monstrous, immortal life; or, whether she wants to stick around & build something warm & human & imperfect & finite with Jacob.

by twisting Jacob's character from the symbols of sunshine & values of humanity he represents into a bad-boy supernatural love interest competing with Edward for Bella's affection, it erases some of the characterization that we have come to expect & love in Jacob. because when Meyer positions him as a love interest, he's not embodying the traits as a friend; he's embodying the traits of what Meyer thinks is formidable love interest and rival to Edward: confident, cocky, aggressive, persistent... Jacob becomes nothing more than a 2000s-era (& before) trope of how men in our society "should" act towards women. so, everything we came to knew about Jacob was morphed into this friend/lover hybrid that just didn't work for who he was. he is Jacob...but he is not our Jacob.

(& the movies did him even worse because the "slice of life" B/J scenes we get were mostly cut.)

anyway, thanks for coming back & letting me rant about one of my favorite characters & my fave book :)

[yuukei-yikes]

Been thinking about what kind of interaction haruka and seto would have since they never spoke with each other (from what i know), but i think they'd be the cutest together because they're both so... idk i just love them (they are my wiwis you have to understand). Setomary harutaka double date would be insane, like, picture this: while haruka and seto would probably be talking about how much they love their girlfriends (they are full of love and whimsical feelings), takane would be like "how tf do i start conversation with this lovecraftian ass creature (with due respect)" because mary wouldn't know what to say either BUT SHE WANTS TO SHE'S JUST REALLY SHY 😔😔😔

oh i got GREAT NEWS for you

you know im always talking about post str haruka keeping a little distance from the dan cuz he knows them but they dont know him and etc etc etc etc. well! i actually hc that outside takane shintaro and ayano of course, SETO is the one member of the dan haruka is very good friends with in early post str. and thats cuz.... he is also the one member of the dan (again outside the quartet)haruka has actually spoken to before being konoha!!! its time for me to talk about the novels again❤️

IM ABT TO KAGEXPLAIN TO YOU BUT ILL GET TO SETOMARY & HARUTAKA AT THE END and my hcs on their dynamics :3 but first let me tell u abt seto&haruka's and mary&takanes friendships. spoilers duh

in the sixth novel, haruka stays over at kenjirou's house for 1 week while he works on the game with him. there haruka meets ayano for the first time, and finds out mr tateyama has FOUR kids. despite haruka is pranked a little by these mysterious 3 siblings he never meets them directly. its rly funny cuz haruka's like can i introduce myself to them i mean im gonna be staying for a week. and ayano's like WHAT. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. and harukas like ok damn i guess i wont meet them

but haruka DOES meet seto during his stay! its one of my FAVORITE chapters of the whole novel. this bit has a 2 page illustration cmon!!!!!!! SETOS HAMSTER BITES HARUKAS FOOT

ok erm anyway. chapter summary of seto&haruka's interaction: haruka went to buy some snacks at the convenience store at night, and when he comes in seto's hamster hanao BITES his damn foot!!!!!! (attacker shown on pic) seto rushes right over like NOOOO HANAOOO

haruka and seto share an awkward greeting bc seto wants to run away asap but haruka's rly desperate to meet him so he invites him to eat the free pudding he won at the grocery store and seto accepts. then they sit and chat while eating pudding :3

haruka invites seto to come to the festival, seto thanks him but says he cant bc he's bad with crowds and he also has a job interview for being a part time paperboy. he assures him his other siblings will show up (as we know, kido and kano do show up but haruka never knew they were ayano and setos siblings at that point!!!)

when seto starts talking abt this job interview he mentions his mom is dead. in that conversation haruka finds out about ayaka. idk about the original line in japanese, but haruka says "mr tateyama's wife is dead?" because of course from his pov the shock comes from his relationship with kenjirou. he feels rly bad that kenjirou acts all happy and normal at school while going through this. seto acts surprised haruka didn't know

haruka expresses sadness over being such a pain for kenjirou then, but seto says that's not true and that kenjirou talks about him all the time. *pretends to be normal about kenjirou*

seto reveals kenjirou called haruka his pride and joy while drunk, which makes haruka tear up. while drunk he also said he'd bring haruka over to make him be ayano's boyfriend lmao and seto says he and kano&kido freaked out about it and were like WE WILL PROTECT U FOR THIS GUY NEECHAN😡😡😡 WHICH IS LIKE. A LAYER OF CONTEXT TO A BIT THAT HAPPENS EARLIER IN THE NOVEL bc they give haruka A REALLY HARD TIME when he arrives and its basically implied they did this bc they were afraid he was gonna hit on ayano lol (jin jokes in his author's notes he literally wanted haruka to hit on ayano literally for shit and giggles but his editor was like dude this is ooc can you take this fucking seriously)

it's also implied seto read haruka's mind when he arrived and since haruka had been thinking of takane and being kind of... he was like her hair her eyes her lips etcetc he was just.... being a 16 year old about it. and seto assumed it was about ayano, told his siblings and there kano went in disguised as ayano to give haruka a piece of his mind. honestly read the sixth novel its hilarious idk if its cuz its a novel with all my faves but its one of the best erm anyways back to the pudding chapter

before seto goes his eye power activates and he basically almost collapses or something. haruka gets rly worried but seto is able to calm down and he leaves. i hc that in this scene seto found out haruka was dying. i dont have proof other than seto probably read his mind there. but i like the hc😄

anyways!! fast forward to the end of the eighth novel, seto (and mary and hibiya) are in the real world while literally everyone else is dead inside the daze. they make a phonecall because of reasons i wont explain and everyone is screaming into it trying to talk to the outside guys, and haruka has a single line where he says "kousuke its me haruka!!!!! remember when we had that pudding together 2 years ago!!!!" hehe its so cute im so glad jin added that

basically. haruka and seto BEST FRIENDS. when haruka is back post str he would be very comfortable with seto and seto would for sure approach haruka and hang out with him. i definitely think haruka's the closest to seto outside of the yuukei quartet!!! like come on theyd be such good friends🥺 i was thinking of harutaka cat last night and i 1000% think seto is the one to find them a pet. seto is always taking haruka to see cats

NOW!!! MARY&TAKANE!!! they definitely don't have as much interaction as haruka&seto bc jin would rather die than write proper scenes for his female characters alone However it is said they hit it off immediately when they meet! ene makes an unforgettable comment abt mary and momo being gay which mary doesnt understand and momo like a good kisaragi wants to kill ene. anyways thats a little funny one

ill talk what i remember the most! the fourth novel: shintaro wakes up and finds mary complaining she can't talk to ene and it turns out shintaro's phone has no battery. shintaro explains the concept of a Charger and Electricity and Mary's like whoa ene eats some weird stuff huh

so she starts looking for a charger. shintaro tells her not to hurry bc theyre better off without her anyways and mary gets mad at him and tells him to stop MEAN to ene!!!!! and says she must ALSO feel lonely in there!!!! and shintaro's like o_o!! ok damn!!!!

that's the only mary&takane i can think of. but they're really good friends i think takane's as much of a tease to her as she is to everyone but mary doesnt always understand LOL but they get along well :3 theyre besties :3 like for real mary momo & ene have a girl gang that could rule the world.

then mary finds some snakeskin in a drawer with the charger and shintaro and kido almost shit their pants etcetc BUT when mary got mad, shintaro has some rly cute thoughts about ene. he remarks how absolutely no one in the dan ever questioned what the hell is ene or how she works, bc theyre all weirdos so of course they dont question other weirdos(and one of my fave shinene lines, where shintaro admits hes developed an affinity for her and that it's because of her he met all these nice people and she might as well be his salvation *fucking explodes*) anyways. he thinks ofc mary and ene hit it off. i think its so cute that mary wanted to talk to ene and just took shintaros phone to do it!!

anyways. THEYRE ALL BEST FRIENDS :3 :3 :3 :3 setomary & harutaka double date is totally possible. and we should get seto&takane to be best friends too like i think theyd be sooooo funny together. i ALWAYS say when takane gets her body back there is no way she could walk so comfortably like she does and since seto (and kano) are there i hc seto carries her back to the hideout from the lab💥💥💥

harutaka & setomary is so funny since ive been in the fandom for so long i can tell u people always compared them like the insane pda ones and though i dont rly agree with that i still think its a funny and nostalgic hc. i think itd be cute if seto told haruka he likes mary but no one else. like everyone KNOWS. duh. but he tells haruka IDK I LIKE THIS HC Because kano and kido will tease him and ayano and mary are awkward with each other (bc i say so) so seto tells haruka like omg i have a crush on mary ://3 and haruka's like omg no way whats ur fave thing about her *kicks feet* they should get to talk abt their crushes together OKAY.

i do think haruka&takane start dating pretty soon or are dating in whatever moment seto comes to haruka to talk abt mary so idk i think its cute if seto went to haruka also bc he's like. hes the only person i know who has a partner 🫡 i like a lot of ships that i think happen eventually and all have their own shitshows and moments but i think haruka&takane are the very first to get together and everyones like yeah. they're the couple ig. Ok sorry someone hold me down before i start talking again about harutaka being the romance love story of kagepro

ermmm basically yes best friends!!!!!

[ifthestarsarewilling]

Oc Lore- COG

this has a lot of religious stuff (christian mostly) so if that makes you uncomfortable i wouldn't read it.

but if your okay with it, lets go!

aight, ill start with a basic run down of the story before i get into my ocs because some things wont make much sense otherwise

COG is a visual novel type thing exploring the relationship between a creator and their creations. in this case, the creator would be me (hi yes. me) and the creations are the ocs ill be talking about in a bit. you/the player play through a week, choosing who to talk to and eventually, the four of you go on a road trip. the person whos philosophies/relationship with me you relate to the most drives (you sit in the front seat) and when you get to your destination (the sky, where in universe me lives) you... well ill get to that after doing ocs. then there are four endings:

i kill the four of you and your all reborn into new, animalistic bodies, but i also die

i destroy the universe and you all with it, and i let myself live and create another, better universe

you're all sent back down with boons of some sort and ways to contact me at any time

you all stay with me and become more god-like beings

and thats about it. anyways oc time now!!

--

Oc 1: Patrick (Pat)

pat, he/him, late twenties/early thirties, straight agender

hes a farmer who keeps bees! kinda like a cowboy. he has a pickup truck-like thing (this is MY fantasy world and i can make him have a magic cart that's basically a truck if i want) and lets you sit in the back. also gives you free honey.

hes a proper country lad, quite smart but cant be bothered to do anything with it. also absolutely JACKED like i mean MUSCLES all over this bad boy

he had a femme phase when he was younger, right after his parents died. still has some of the dresses

he likes me. his whole deal is 'hey, you were kinda an awful mom, but i mean you weren't really to blame. gave us all free will and stuff. please talk to me mom'

hes cool. i love my farmer son

--

Oc 2: The Mermaid

the mermaid, she/her, around one fifty, cishet

shes like, really unhealthily christian. now theres nothing wrong with being christian, but shes just using it as an unhealthy coping mechanism.

so basically she had to leave the ocean and become a human after a lot of pollution ruined her home. now, being... yknow. ex-mermaid, she was treated kinda badly by the humans she first met. and so she converted to christianity to try and fit in! didnt really work though...

so she went mad from her hopelessness. prayed for days upon end without sleeping until her (not humanlike) form became twisted and eldritch from starvation. shes obsessed with being human.

so yeah.

she prays a lot. tries to convert people. considers me a false god and would kill me if given the opportunity.

--

Oc 3: Rose

rose, it/its, 17, aromantic pansexual genderqueer

it wants to kill me :3

okay so basically its just... sad? lots of angst here.

its parents were killed in a hate crime (it had two dads) and it was left to raise itself. obviously it found out about my existence, and sort of went "hey, you. why did you let my parents die?" and after receiving no response it is now trying to kill me.

its good at metalworking! the knife in the picture is made by it, as is the necklace and earrings its wearing.

@n3bu-la you wanted to see this?? here you goo sorry it took me so long lol

it is also lactose intolerant and dies its hair. naturally its got straight black hair it basically fried it lol

--

[rottytops]

i definitely think the adhd medication (successfully) rewired my brain and made me seek out long term goals over short term pleasure like i have been literally my entire life so now my current goals are to unfuck my credit to move away from my shitty roomies, get my new car and actually get into an ltr lmao

SUPRISINGLY ENOUGH 2 of these 3 goals are either in progress or very obtainable ive been saving a tunna cash and i can get a new car next month after i get my license renewed and ive found this cute little studio that i can maybe move into if i get help co-signing it, then ill just camp out there until my loans are paid off in 50000 years

the last one though.,,,,its so weird. the like. burning fervor to date someone long term kinda slugged me in the back of the head! ive always WANTED a nice relationship but it was never a PRIORITY to me bc i had video games or whatever. these new feelings made me realize ive been living my life like. entirely for myself which is FINE but my standards for myself (combined with how ADHD made me content with literally anything as long as it was easy) make me like. gutter trash tier as a partner, i think. essentially as i am now, unless the other person is equal parts deranged and shitty, im utterly unlovable which is like. tough tits i guess. but if im honest about it i can at least try to change it. part of me is conflicted; if i have to change myself to become more datable, is the person really dating me, or am i just creating a false persona to get conditional love. its a scary thought but at the same time im not really changing MYSELF past getting in shape and taking care of my skin, its more im giving up on being a dopamine addicted manchild and getting my own apartment. with my own car and stuff...these are actually just completely normal goals to have and i already wanted them i just kinda have new motivation for it lmao!

you cant just force a relationship and theres no way im attracting the hoes to me in my shitty room, so i think i need to??? go??? outside??? and hang out with ppl??? utterly mortifying but when i get my car next month i think i can actually do that. id like to make more irl friends as well, i had a bunch of friends in college so. i guess ill go to more smash locals or something but outside of that sigh sigh i have no idea.

these major revelations have all hit me in like the past 2 weeks, since i started my medication and the dosage was upped, i have a lot of work to do and not that much time to do it, really!!!! i hope i can become someone like. worth keeping around in a few months time...!!! the pieces are there i just need to like, put them together....



i could write a whole thing on how mad i am that it took me so long to get medicated and how fast i became a Normal Person after being on meds but like idk that line of thinking doesnt help anybody...!! i accomplished so much even with my debilitating ADHD and now i can do so much more with a mindset that can actually handle the shit neurotypical people expect me to be able to do, considering how im literally good at everything, combined with how ive managed to survive this long with almost no real help from irl people (seriously ive gotten more assistance from my online friends than literally anybody in my family both financially and emotionally) means that me WITH medication is gonna go absolutely insane. im going to be like ultra rich this time next year, probably LMAO....or at least have a boyfriend AURHUFG



anyway if u read this for some reason i love u and also give me ideas on going out and meeting people, i think i can hold a conversation just fine but where do people even GO. do you guys think ppl at bars or whatever know about disgaea. hmmm.

[cicadangel]

erm.! diary 12/4

hi i havent been online in a bit or written any diary entries recently bc well i was really depressed and then i just like forgot or whatever. but uhmmm life updates sorta/just how im doing right now.

i will start with the good news :-) i am not depressed! ive been feeling good pretty consistently for the past 2 weeks i think? ive been happy enough to be able to function normally and do all the stuff i need to do. also school swim started so i got to see my crush (the one i talked abt a bunch last year) and i actually need him so bad he's so fine i need him. not much has happened w him (in terms of moments or whatever) but it will soon trust!!!!!! also ive been feeling a bit more confident lately in terms of how i think guys percieve me so i hope maybe that will inspire me to make a move but probably not. oh well.

as for everything else. well. i have been having issues with that one bitch "friend" ofc hoping to hit her with a car sometime soon. but thats not rly new ig. i am kind of having issues too tho with one of my other friends bc he's being weird and annoying. recently hes been extremely sensitive abt just everything which is whatever except he won't tell me, he'll just get upset and try to get me to ask him if he's upset except i won't play that game ugghhhhh if u have a problem with me tell me bc i wont understand otherwise!!! i cannot possibly fathom what he's got wrong with him about me so im not even gonna try. if he wants to fix it he can use his words otherwise no bueno it is not happening!!!!

he's also been like. weird to me recently. we're in psychology class together and we're gonna be at the "abnormal behavior" unit soon (which is mental illnesses) and he keeps saying ohhhh we're almost at your unit we're almost there when it's like stop thats actually so annoying. i am abnormal and crazy but that's not ur place to say? i dont talk to my friends abt my mental illness struggles but i guess it is obvious there's smth wrong with me or whatever but it's just annoying. i will talk abt how im against involuntary commitment to psych wards and how sooooo many therapists only end up doing more harm than good and my problems with the whole mental health industry and the modern understanding of it bc it's smth im rly passionate abt, but he just brushes me off as if i dont have first hand experience with all of the terrible ways psychiatry and the mental health industry can fuck people up???? i also feel weird talking to him in general sometimes bc i know he'll bring me up to his therapist (because he constantly mentions it) and i feel like i cant talk to him bc he's gonna tell her and that just puts a weird strain on the relationship. like his therapist knows me, but just from his pov and that kinda weirds me out im ngl.

oh i also got in a fight w my mom today. actually we're still fighting. it was over something soooo insignificant but i got so overly angry like i always do and now im going to make it ruin the rest of my day because i am insufferable. she's just been really angering me lately also ive been feeling destructive which is complicated. i dont rly like the term "splitting" but it's def what ive been doing a lot lately. ugh. also i like dont know what to do with my bpd "diagnosis" it makes me angry and like i just have so many problems with it in so many ways REGARDLESS if i actually have it or whatever which i could talk abt for hours. in some ways it's nice to have a label for what ive been going through my whole life but in most ways i am like not too happy with the fact that ive been handed a disqualification from ever being upset again. if i am, it'll just be because im a crazy borderline! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. more on that whole mess later sorry

[nanasketchdump]

It took me 14 years to get a proper treatment plan for my OCD

I have struggled with incredibly and increasingly severe OCD for over a decade now and I don't tend to bring it up with doctors because I have been shut down and ridiculed for it by medical professionals before.

I recently started seeing a new GP (family doctor) to get scripts refilled for my ADHD medication. Instead if just passively signing my scripts and sending me on my way (as all other doctors have before) she asked me about how they were working for me and if there were any side effects on my current dosage. She was the first doctor in 14 YEARS to actually check up on those things and ask me those questions.

I reluctantly told her that my anxiety had been getting worse and worse over the years (I'd read that the pills could do that) and over the course of my appointment I felt more and more comfortable opening up to her, especially after she told me about her transgender daughter who she is so very proud of. I think she was sending me subtle hints after seeing my incredibly ngc appearance, and we even spoke about dysphoria at length.

I decided 'hey shes really open minded, maybe I should tell her'. I told her about my OCD, my compulsive thoughts and debilitating routines I have to carry out.

She immediately asked why I wasn't on medication for it. Up until this year I had NO IDEA there were actually pills out there for it. I'd resigned myself to living with OCD that would just get gradually worse and worse until it turned my brain to soup.

She gave me a prescription, I had the treatment plan within an hour and I have follow up appointments scheduled to check on progress. I cant believe it was that easy this whole time. I cant believe it took 14 fucking years for a doctor to help me.

It is so so important that we have open minded doctors, that we have doctors who are up to date on recent studies, that we have doctors who understand mental illnesses and how different medications effect them.

I started my first pill yesterday, they take 2 to 6 weeks to work fully. Even if they don't work and I have to try something else, I want to thank Dr Strauss from the bottom of my heart.

I'm actually in shock

[cold-r-ain-in-june]

so a few weeks ago @steadfast sent me an ask wondering how i manage to gather the pieces of media for my web weavings

unfortunately,  it just happened that when you sent me that ask i was one foot in the grave with a fever and ever since i got better i've been procrastinating writing you a reply since i wanted to give you my best answer

double unfortunately, tumblr decided to delete the post and your ask when i was almost done, so i'll try to write it again even though i'm frustrated over the original getting deleted so bear with me

so to start off, i happen to suffer from the horrible condition called sometimes-i-feel-things-so-strongly-i-want-to-cut-open-my-skin-to-let-them-out. a horrible illness really. things like anger or missing my ex or chronic sadness. sometimes, rarely, it happens to be love, though much less often then i would like.

basically, i bottle things up to the point in which i cant help but see them everything. i see a random poem on my instagram feed, i listen to a song on the bus and one of the lyrics clicks like it never had before, a scene from a movie a watched 3 years ago comes to haunt me at night when i cant sleep.

so i gather them, sometimes, i make new folders for them, other times i am so lazy and messy i just let them get lost and rot with the other 10k of screenshots i have on my phone.

obviously, i also have to outright search for things, but i dont even do it for the sake of creating a web weaving post at first. i just feel one thing so deeply i have to look up proof that people have been also feeling this thing for thousands of years and theyve all dealt with it. i mostly search them here on tumblr and sometimes pinterest. words like "friendship", like "medea", like "toxic siblings", they can all open doors to pieces of media you have never heard of before, but which contain a three line dialogue youd kill for from the first time you read it. this all very tricky, evidently, at times, things simply dont match with the way you actually feel, no matter how much you search for them, but stitching them together can give you this almost perfect thing that mirrors your soul.

i also happen to be the kind of person who screenshots everything they think its relevant. and its good that i have really low standards for relevance. thats how i end up diving in my screenshots pile, when i feel like my web searching is failing, and sometimes i get lucky enough and i find a line i collected 2 years ago that matches exactly how i feel in that moment.

you've also mentioned the question of whenever i memorize book passages, and the answer is somewhere between yes and no. while, when i read i heavily annotate my books, im not a big fan of memorising outright passages (my brain is mush lets be honest, i cant fry it even more with overloading), and i dont write them down or anything, but i do however manage to memorize the overall idea of passages that stick to me. liek i can tell that x book has some quote about y thing even if i dont remember it outright. then i try to look it up, i use goodreads mostly (which is a bitch on mobile but you can work your way around if you search shit on web AND THEN you open it with the app) and google books when it decides to be helpful every once in a while, and if neither of those work, THEN, i open my edition and try to look for it because im lazy like that.

another site i really like, and its obvious in my web weavings is gentle.earth!! which, now that i say it, i actually havent visited it in a while but since i remembered it exists ill probably stalk it for the next few weeks. it's an anymous site on which everyone can confess things that hang heavy on them and some of them get to be displayed on the page after the entires are curated. its a really pretty thing to look through

now that i covered the bases of obtaining the materials for the web weaving, which i think i can boil down to 1. hysterical search mission and 2. hoarding every piece of media you come across, i will also add that at least for me personall, putting them in order for is a pain in the ass (which is also the maine reason i havent made a web weaving in almost a year even though i have the materials ready). i dont know if other people who do this kind of things are as press as i am about the order in which each post go and the way the different shades of the same idea interwine and bullshit bullshit or if im just mental. but yeah its also a really important step for me, its basically the polish of the post ig

also the biggest problem with the hoarding strategy is spending 2 days looking for a source because your past self was too lazy to also screenshot the source. thats also a bitch

anyway, i honestly i have no idea if youll find anything helpful here, or if i just used your ask to moan about my struggles but its 3 am over here and honestly this is the best ive got. thank you for the ask though, i do love getting ask even if it takes me two decades to answer them <3

[boypussydilf]

sherlock. what is it's gender. what is their deal. speak your trutg

oh dear with the state of my blog its now hard to tell when people walk up to me and say sherlock if they mean dgs sherlock the og or any of the several others ive started talking about. we need to like. color code them. anyway im gonna talk about dgs sherlock bc hes the one im most likely to have proper thoughts on and then probably also do one for mostly just. like. the general concept actually thinking about it i do have many thoughts on Non-DGS Sherlock i dont know why i allowed myself to think i didnt . i just get caught up in the bimbo dad but i like the entire folder hes stored in

dgs first tho <333333

Sexuality Headcanon: gay. Just gay

Gender Headcanon: If i had to make 1 decision. genderfluid <3 Sherlock Holmes (DGS) can fit so much gender in her !!!!!!!!!

A ship I have with said character: *looks at my blog* *looks at my pinned post* um i think you guys know . already. the only one i have . do i need to say it

A BROTP I have with said character: i mean. Iris. they r best friends for real ! they r like the most important people to each other ! they r this guy and their 10 year old daughter who packs peanut butter jelly sandwiches for them !!!

A NOTP I have with said character: im gonna be petty and say vanlock. i blocked the tag bc i got tired of seeing it. actually even moreso i like physically recoil when i see ppl shipping him with ryuu, it fucking. completely baffles me. like. nothing wrong with that. people who ship them aren’t weird in That sense. but theyre weird as in I can’t understand what compels you to do this . i dont like vanlock but i can Understand why people do i just got extra sick of it bc its semi common. i cant understand why people ship sherlock and ryuu. like youve misread the vibe badly. this is not it. oh dear god this just got 5 times as long as all the other sections of this fucking ask meme. power of being slightly annoyed sorry

A random headcanon: UHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD . I KNOW i have headcanons abou t this bitch he swarms around in my mind all the time. I am imagining Random Exploits of the DGS Cast on a daily basis where did the fucking Concepts and Ideas go. ill return to this once ive done everything else and see if i havent thought of anything fun by then. ive thought about it some more and my most recent thought on him has been like. she knows some russian and japanese right? actually a fucking lot of russian to be able to read entire newspaper articles but thats besides the point i just think that sherlock knowing several different languages is neat but, Like. its pure chance if she ever manages to learn enough to be able to …. use it. once every several months sherlock will get really really excited about a new foreign language and put in like 2 weeks of work before forgetting about it completely. he has the vocabulary of a very young toddler in half a dozen different languages and is remembering those vocabularies by sheer luck

General Opinion over said character: Im normal iam normal normal im normal and regular . im normal and im normal about him and i dont intend to put him under a microscope or anything. i am not putting him in a little plastic box and shaking him to find out what happens . *extends my hand ibuprofen style* who wants to speculate about dgs in hyperspecific ways with me. hello my like 3 dgs followers do you have thoughts on sherlock holmes. tell them to me. lets all be normal. Anyway uh hes funny

IVE GOTTEN THAT BITCH OUT OF THE WAY LETS TALK ABOUT …… im not even sure. The General Concept of Sherlock Holmes on a Wide Scale, which, like, ultimately probably just boils down to: acd holmes. time to get philosophical with it. thats not the right word.

Sexuality Headcanon: sherlock is either gay or aroace or some more specific combination of all previous terms. Hey does that… even count as headcanon? Ultimately my stance is “whatever as long as sherlock holmes is not interested in women” and it is stated very clearly explicitly and repeatedly in canon that sherlock holmes is not interested in women so . like.

Gender Headcanon: You know what’s funny is expressing disdain for women is an effective way to distance yourself from femininity in general, for instance, to assert masculinity as a trans man, or as a negative reaction to being a trans woman. So. Like.

A ship I have with said character: at first i was like “its just kind of an objective fact that sherlock and watson are gay but i dont have emotional investment in it” but that was a fucking lie

A BROTP I have with said character: SHERLOCK HOLMES DOES NOT HAVE FRIENDS. I DONT FUCKING KNOW, TOBY THE DOG?

A NOTP I have with said character: The next time an adaptation tries to make him and irene adler straight together im going to thr authors house and shooting them point blank. shut up shut up shut up shut up. they would NOT

A random headcanon: man i dont even fucking know. he probably eats food off the floor and i mean this genuinely

General Opinion over said character: Sherlock Holmes is the ultimate Little Freak. Like 80% of the joy of any sherlock holmes media is “Watch this Freak Behave Oddly”. Some people think he would be hard to get along with personally i think we would make very good friends and i would love to hang out with the Freak.

Man. I hope this post isn’t actually as long and hard to look at as it looks in the mobile post editor. Unfortunately it probably is