#really any of the top 3 i'd be satisfied and the rest i'd be like ok sure

[swiftiephobe]

nobody asked but here's my list of who/what i think should win aoty (in order of deserved-ness)

brat

the rise and fall of a midwest princess

cowboy carter

ttpd

short n sweet

hit me hard and soft

the others (sorry idk them)

[droaxa]

this game

✧tags: yandere cheater x reader pt. 3

✧warnings: kidnapping, bondage, MNDI, reader is touched inappropriately

✧a/n: hey guys this is gonna be the final part of my yandere cheater, i really appreciate all the love i've got so far and i'm excited to show you all what I thought up for the final bit! don't hate me too much for the end haha

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

The first sensation that hits you as you wake is a burning feeling in your throat. you shoot up immediately and go into a coughing fit, what happened? The second sensation is the blinding bright lighting, a harsh white compared to the soft yellow in your dorm. Your eyelids feel stuck as you try to open your eyes, almost as if they were glued together.

You force your eyes open and your surroundings alarm you, even in your drowsy state. This room clearly wasn't yours. In fact, it wasn't Raph's either. You knew his room, messy and boyish but not sterile and clean like this. You observe your surroundings, a mostly empty room with minimal items but all necessary furniture.

Then you locate the cause of the ache in your wrists; two tightly tied ropes connecting you to the bed frame. You try to pull away, hoping the knots will come loose but to no avail. Your legs are free unlike your arms, but bare. You're dressed in a large t-shirt, something you knew Raph owned and just your panties. You dreaded being exposed to Raph in such an intimate way, especially considering that he most likely changed you, but the thin layers were better than nothing.

As if hearing your silent plea that he shouldn't come through the door, Raph enters with the click of the lock unlatching. His smug, almost satisfied look makes you uneasy. What did he have planned for you?

"Finally up sweets? I was gettin' bored without ya" he drawls out, stalking closer to the bed with every step.

You inhale sharply and attempt to pull yourself into a sitting position by your wrists, not wanting to be lying down as that man approached you. But almost as if reading your mind, he crawls into the bed. Grabbing your ankle and pulling you down into a resting position with him over you.

"Uh uh" he tuts, "No runnin' away, but I mean-" he cracks a menacing grin. "It's not like there's anywhere to run to huh?"

Your eyebrows furrow as you plead with him, "Raph please, just let me go and I won't tell anyone what you did. If you have any love or at least respect for me, please let me go"

He cocks his head to the side as if thinking about your demand, then all of a sudden-

BAM!

He's on top of you, hands on either side of your head and legs keeping your legs down. "I'm doing this because I love you, can't you see? I know imma asshole for cheating but c'mon. Don't say you didn't miss me"

You scoff and hiss out your words, "Miss you? You're just a cheating lowlife and psycho who couldn't take what he dished out"

"Psycho?" He grabs your face, squishing your cheeks in the process. "Well yer life is in the hands of this psycho darling, so I'd watch what you say" He leans in even closer, his hair now tickling your forehead. "All I did was prove my love for you, getting rid of that bitch, taking care of my brother. They were all getting in between us"

You try to stay calm but tears start to form in your eyes, he was the one who tore you two apart. Not your friends or his brother. "It was you that got between us. Just because you tried to right your wrongs, in the worst way possible, doesn't mean I need to forgive you"

Like he was waiting for you to say that, he grins again "Forgive me? Oh, you'll be forgiving me soon"

He lifts up your body just enough to allow his larger one to fit under you, you were lying on him. Just like when you were together. His face rests on your shoulder as one of his hands grabs a remote off the bed stand next to the bed, arms encircling your waist with the remote in the front.

He then turns on the TV opposite of the bed, the news network flashes on screen.

A woman dressed in formal wear and a bun appeared at a mahogany desk, her face holding a solemn expression. "A horrible tragedy has struck the local university today" A picture of a university, no. Your university flashes on the screen. "A university student had been found in the dorms on campus, horribly injured" A picture of Ray flashes on screen. No.

"Thankfully, an anonymous tip earlier that day proved to save this young man's life as paramedics arrived on the scene just in time" She continues, "Sadly, he has fallen into a coma due to health complications. So please, we ask you to send your love and strength to this young man's family."

Her face looks sterner now, "The main suspect at the moment is a young woman who owned the dorm the student was found in" No, it can't be- "(y/n) is seemingly on the run at the moment, please notify your local police station if you see her in your city" A picture of you pops up. No, no no.

With that Raph clicks the TV off, grinning. "Oh wow, you really did all that (y/n)?"

You don't say anything, face frozen as you stare at the dark TV.

Raph catches onto your shock and coos in your ear, rough hands caressing your waist "Oh darling you're free to stay here, I mean it's not like you have anywhere else to go"

You turn your head toward him to the best of your abilities and blurted out, "What did you do"

His eyebrows raise as his grin widens, "I didn't do anything, not my fault you decided to move to such a low-security dorm. I mean, no cameras or security guards? Besides, who would believe you?"

You spit out your words with venom, "My parents will, my friends will, Ray will. You won't escape this"

"Oh really, the same parents who are countries away? The same friends who fucked your boyfriend? Don't get me started on Ray, but it's not like that vegetable can say anything"

Your hope starts to diminish, he was somewhat right. Your so-called 'friends' would never vouch for you. It would be a miracle if your parents would come in time to help your case; even if they did, the odds were stacked against you.

And Ray, poor Ray. He didn't deserve this, he deserved the life he always dreamed about. The little farmhouse in the countryside, a beautiful wife, and a few kids. Even if it wasn't with you, he deserved it and so much more.

You couldn't ignore the feeling of Raphs body beneath yours, his hands gripping you. Was this the way it would end? Hopelessly alone, doomed to be unhappy? The one you loved was battling death, barely alive and here you were: unable to to anything but cry.

Were you crying? You snap out of your daze to a strange wetness on your cheeks, salty moistness. Did you deserve to cry? What could you have done differently to stop this? Would things be different if you had never initiated something with Ray, if you had stayed with Raph, if you had never come to this university?

But the hot breath hitting your neck told you everything you needed to know, this was your now, your forever. Trapped in the arms of your merciless captor, one who wouldn't spare even his own family.

Forever bound to misery, the only witness of your downward spiral would be the cold walls of this house. Funny, how it only took a few hours to strip you of everything you were. All that was left now was a husk, a memory of what was before.

Perhaps, he really had won.

a/n: so ik you guys wanted to keep ray alive and technically i did, but i may or may not have twisted it a bit haha. i consider this ending the true ending but i'll take suggestions to write shorter stories on the alternate paths the reader could have gone down to change their fate!

[al-911]

This post is an idea I've had floating around for a while. Those that know me know I'm into the idea of dungeons and torture chambers, the kind full of different devices. So I thought why not collate all my devilish device designs in one place, a bit like my quite popular immobility post.

I'll add to this post as ideas pop into my head, or I improve an existing one. One day with enough money, I'll even build them (a guy can dream).

A word on atmosphere: the room should be dimly lit, with spot lighting to reveal and emphasise each torture device. Lees should only enter the room bound and stripped, to enforce a feeling of captivity. An ideal entry would be strapped horizontal to a gurney, limiting their initial ability to see the devices as they can only turn their head so far, or see suspension devices on the ceiling.

1) The Tough Girl: Picture yourself kneeling. Now imagine leaning forward onto a massage table at about 45 degrees from horizontal. Now imagine your feet brought up to a similar angle behind you, resting on a padded part so your body forms a shape like a tick ✅️

This foot rest will be contoured to accept the Lee's feet to present their soles at a relaxed enough angle that their toes can be pulled back and restrained quite tightly. Ankles will be restrained in a small custom restraint resembling stocks, but again contoured to hold their feet from almost the very start of the heel end of their soles, up to the start of their calves.

Working upwards, with the option of mummifying the lee (for reasons which will become apparent as we fully explain the device), there will be combination strap-cuffs to hold together and pull down the legs above and below the knees, and at the thighs.

We move now to the upper body. The angled massage table will extend from just above the hips, to the face (the kind with a hole for your face). The torso will be strapped down securely, with the Lee's genitals exposed below the padded section. Their arms can be positioned in multiple places: at their sides, behind their back connected to a winch, for cranking their wrists higher behind them, or crossed just ahead of their forehead, restrained at the wrists and biceps. The multiple positions allow for changing positions as the lee tires, particularly from the hands-behind position.

The head will be tightly restrained in the "viewport", forcing them to stare at the screen in front of them which can be made to show either intense tickle videos or a live feed of their own torment (I'd favour a top down view of their soles). The view could also be swapped to a physical view of another lee in a duplicate of the device, so that they can watch some soles being tortured before their turn... or have soles forced into their face, if we're being even kinkier.

This device exposes almost all of a naked Lee: soles skyward, the backs and sides of the legs open to torment, and with variation of the arm positions, their back and sides. There could also be cutouts to access the belly and nipples, and of course their head is firmly restrained for precise, intense ear neck and scalp tortures.

There is full access for forced orgasms and edging, and the lee being literally on their knees may have a psychological effect on their submission. The device elicits simultaneous feelings of hogties, face down tortures, and when the arms are elevated behind by the winch, a little suspension.

2) The Arch: Quite simple really. A gently arched bench lined with straps (imagine more. No, a lot more!). A naked Lee is draped over it, wrists and ankles bound and linked to winches. Gently stretch them, strap down the wrists and ankles, and then the many other straps until satisfied, head to toe. With a mirror above, the taut and exposed lee is now ready for their torture, hips pushed forward to accept any orgasms you wish to impose upon them with a dangling Hitachi.

3) The Shower: There are in fact, two showers. One for Lees to be cleaned in, and one for the ler to use. The Lee gets to lie fave down or face up on a bench, strapped down ready to be washed and scrubbed (torturously). Their feet are locked in stocks in the wall between the showers.

While cooling down between sessions, and after scrubbing the lee clean, the ler can take a refreshing shower, with some feet to enjoy as they go. Myself, I'd have the lee face down so I can enjoy their sole bowl, using the soapy lather for a foot job as I relax in the luxury shower...

The Super Deluxe edition of the shower would have stocks for many Lees, so I can worship a set of soles while I tickle another and have fun with a third...

4) The Pit: A dark pit, which you are lowered into while strapped to a frame. So dark you aren't sure your eyes are open. A door closes over you once you're inside.

Time passes. Your eyes do not adjust, it is total darkness... except for me. With night vision goggles (with an infrared light source, yes I know they don't work without some form of light) I can see you perfectly. And torture you from the shadows you are surrounded by.

Another variant would be to be lowered, legs wide, directly onto a feather wheel, only knowing it is there at the bottom when it touches between your legs. The echoing laughter and moans can echo back up form the pit to psychologically torture the other prisoners.

[mamadarama]

Just curious on your opinion here do you have any thoughts on the way Madara is being written? Recently I came to the realization that enstars writers aren't all that great,, and I notice that Madara at least in my opinion has had very little development and progression as a character but I'm genuinely hoping I'm wrong but I don't see much difference. And I do hope I'm wrong cuz I definitely haven't read every single story ever in Enstars and it could just really be Madara's character but it feels like he hasn't budged an inch and when DF rolled around it seems like he's gonna progress only for the writers to make him wanna split up literal months after (SS) and it was fine the first time since we explored that part of his character but right after that we got the Spring event and he's?? Back on his bullshit as if whatever happened during Secret Service didn't have much impact. And I do understand his character and all but I often wonder how much of that is just his character (immovable mountain with deep roots that will take years of continuous effort to move) or just the writers half assing because they can't think of a more compelling narrative for double face other than Madara wanting a breakup. It's especially sad to me with Last Mission because as much as I can understand DF being temporary and meant to end, it feels like nothing has changed in Madara during !! Era. I'm hoping that new gen Madara can change that since he's already featured in the new shuffle and scout story, and it does look like he's changing the vibes a little. Idk what are your thoughts and genuinely no hate here I love Madara and I'd love to hear your opinion :)

i think the writers do a pretty good job with the story actually !! i ended up spending a few hours writing like 3 pages of stuff so this one gets a readmore ^^;

theres a tldr at the end though if you dont wanna hear me talk in circles like some kind of maniac (understandable i dont either)

at this point madaras story is a tragedy and hes not really supposed to be a satisfying character . youre supposed to be some degree of frustrated with him like all the other characters are. the story isnt over yet though and maybe he will get a satisfying happy ending someday , but this is all buildup. having madara go through negative character development while the rest of the 3rd years have significant positive character development puts emphasis on one of the main points of his character: you cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped . shu wanted to become more empathetic. eichi wanted to unlearn his bitterness. kaoru wanted to leave his playboy reputation behind. izumi wanted to learn to control his emotions . madara has two sides to him that refuse to coexist— anger and misery. the angry side of him has given up on himself and leans into his perceived role as a villain because he believes alienating his friends is the only way to save them and for once be the hero. the miserable side of him is the sad and "selfish" part that keeps him returning to his friends again and again despite believing hes a bad influence on them, because he still seeks acknowledgment and praise from others and doesnt want to believe its too late for him. he bounces between these like a metronome . (maybe thats another layer of reasoning behind double faces name, idk) so, he doesnt know if he wants to be helped. he thinks he doesnt deserve it. pulling someone out of a ditch that deep requires some legwork on their part too, and if they wont put in that legwork, well... then there's nothing you can do. madara isnt quite a rooted mountain that takes a long time to move... hes more like an injured tiger pacing in its pit , so fixated on looking for a way out that it wont look up and see the entire top is open where its keepers are waiting to take it out and treat its wounds . now suppose this tiger is sentient enough to worry it might hurt someone on impulse when the disinfectant stings its wounds. additionally, lets say the tigers wounds came from falling and cutting itself on something in its habitat while making a risky jump , and it believes it deserves to be hurt for such a stupid misjudgment. so even when it notices the top of the pit is open, it will continue pacing pretending like it didnt. thats where madara is at right now .

madara broke up double face partly out of self sabotage, and partly out of a twisted attempt to "save" kohaku from him. kohaku and madara are an interesting contrast because their characters are set up in a very similar way. the difference between them is that kohaku doesnt hate himself even close to as much as madara does, and as a result he IS getting better. kohaku believes hes always going to be part of the underbelly of society doing dirty work and hes resolved to that like madara is, but he doesnt believe that means he has to do it alone . he acknowledges that hes not alone, he has the rest of alkakurei, the sweets club, jun, his sisters and tsukasa.... and madara. the first part of beating loneliness is recognizing youre not alone. madara thinks no one understands him (which in itself is its own kind of loneliness) and that if his friends understood "what he really is", they wouldnt love him. so in a way their presence eases one kind of loneliness and reinforces another. in his mind the only person who understands him is himself and therefore the only one who can save people from himself is also him.

theres a scene in last mission where madara says his reason for disbanding double face is something along the lines of wanting kohaku to live where he can feel the sun on him , and kohaku asks "what about my feelings?" . that pretty much sums up madaras entire thought process and why he isnt making any positive progress .

tldr; madara does have character development between es! and es!! , but its not positive. to have such a stubborn self loathing character make positive progress without a slow burn of warring with themself and dragging their feet would soften those traits. they want him to stand out and make you to go "ohh ok so this guy is MISERABLE miserable" .

so anyways i dont think its lazy writing its just character loyalty. but the fact that you noticed all that means youre reading him the way hes intended to be read. so congratulations!! you now understand what its like to be kohaku oukawa :) if he does get positive character development i hope its really slow though cuz if its too fast it would feel kinda abrupt. it needs to feel like hes fighting the writers for it to truly be madara

[bekaterrier]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! I listened to a few things this week (gushing and spoilers ahead):

@woodenovercoats S4: You know it's going to be a good season when it's already got me tearing up in the third episode! Madeline and her family!! 😭 Madeline and Rudyard besties! 🥰 I absolutely loved seeing Antigone continue to grow this season. She just wanted to be seen, to know she was strong enough to be seen, and she was!! We also got to hear Rudyard give more time to his life outside the funeral home, particularly his special interest in history! We finally got Chapman's backstory! Heartbreaking though. 💔 Holy shit that sound design when Chapman and Rudyard go over the falls was *chef's kiss*. My first thought re: the Funns running Chapman's was "Oh lord, how is Rudyard going to F this up?" It was really nice to hear them actually properly put on a funeral like we knew they could. Throughout the season, we heard Eric and Antigone grow closer and some feelings start to develop there. Then hearing Eric calling out for Antigone in his dream was...whew. "Sorry about the chloroform." 😂 Georgie's cycle of grief is so real. It hits you at the most unexpected moments. They're a town!!!! And of course he came back, he's home!!!!! This ending is so perfect, so absolutely satisfying. This show was incredible ♥️

@midstpodcast S1: I've been seeing so much about this show in my feed lately as its third and final season released, so I just had to jump into it. And wow am I hooked! The way the narrators share the story and the character voices between them is fascinating. The world building is absolutely incredible - the visual they painted of the fold sweeping through is just chilling. Combine that with the actual visual elements created by the podcast, seen in the YouTube videos...so so cool. Side note - I hate the Trust; the way that its systems ensure that those at the bottom are kept down, rewarding those already at the top...kudos to another podcast where one of the villains is capitalism. In any case, I was so absorbed in the stories of each of the three protagonists, trying to see ahead to how their lives would intersect, I almost forgot about the very first scene! The moon falls out of the sky!! Absolutely wild!! I'm very much looking forward to learning more about the consequences of this and the impact on Midst.

@midnightburgr Welcome to the Horizon Part 3 - The Wayfaring Stranger: God I love this town and these people. I laughed out loud so many times this episode! Frank and June's reactions to Verge's background are hilarious. I'm so glad we have Verge in this mini-series. It's also so fun to hear them flirting with Deirdre, especially after hearing their VAs as not so friendly in Moonbase Theta, Out (love you Cat and Tina). The news that we get from Trinkett about the comet is verrry interesting and concerning, so looking forward to seeing where that goes.

@tellnotalespod S1 & S2 (to date) re-listen: TNT is currently on their mid season break, so I re-listened to everything that's been released so far. I said earlier this season that it was going to be tough listening to all the S2 episodes in a row since many of them made me cry individually...and I was right! 😭 I am so looking forward to the rest of S2, and I really hope Leo, Riley and Julia all get the hugs they need, preferably from each other.

@storiesfromylelmore Winter Solstice crowdfunding episode: I love hearing the kids out and up to their shenanigans! It was also really sweet to get a glimpse of the parents doing their thing, but also loving all the kids (even though Elas can sometimes be puce). I also loved hearing more about their world's Winter Solstice story! The worldbuilding is so fantastic.

@hinaypod Episode 41 - Danny Boy (Pride Episode 2024): I'm glad I listened to this one during the day because I definitely would have gotten creeped out by some of the curse's descriptions if I'd listened at 2AM, as I sometimes do. We got quite lore dump on our favourite horrible old man, but I still have so many questions!!

[cupidspup]

hello! congrats on 50 followers!

#9 from your 20 questions game? as a queer disabled regressor i love hearing other people’s experiences!

~ @littletism 🎀

Eeee hello hi! ^^ Thank you for your question I'm so so excited to answer! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა

The question is:

"If you have other marginalized identities (lgbtq+, neurodivergent, poc, ect...) how do they figure into your regression?"

And my answer is...

It incorporates into my regression in a lot of ways!! X)

I know you all don't know a lot about me so this is sort of a deeper dive into me along with being a fun lil game! :] So strap in its a bit of a long one x)

I'm a person of color, I'm in the lgbtq+ community (not straight and my gender identity doesn't align with my assigned sex at birth), I have autism and adhd AND on top of that I have other mental health/physical health problems that can take a huge toll on me too! :")

Regression isn't always sunshine and rainbows for sure. I come from a very troubled background, my regression comes from a place to heal that child that was hurt from that time. To give me back what I lost as a child or to give me what I never had.

I'm a trans guy and I'm proud, but online I get really finicky about it because I'm always scared that no one will respect it (or my pronouns) because I'm a hyperfem trans guy so I try to hide my gender/sex a lot which is something I'm working on ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

On top of that with the mental health problems I have, they make me incredibly sensitive and extremely clingy no matter what age I regress to. I have chronic back and joint pain which makes it hard to do a lot of the "typical" regressor things and sometimes it can put a damper on how I feel about myself as a little too (╥ᆺ╥；)

This all translates to a very big crybaby little, who seems like nothing will satisfy them, very high maintenance along with the constant energy just MOVING!!! I'm not a skinny person either and my feelings get so confused too :< "why don't I look like that person? I want to sit criss-crossed too!! Wait I don't want to be a little prince I wanna be a princess!! Princesses are cute!! Oh I hope I'm not being too much...I'm too much...Oh but my cg loves me still!!" Most of the time when I'm small, my Pronouns change too because in my little brain the feminine girly stuff feels way better than all the little boy stuff!! It's a really hard thing to navigate but I'm happy the people around me are open minded and accepting of that 🩷

With all the trauma I've experienced certain words and actions can trigger me even easier :"] it can be a lot for a lil guy with anxiety. Not to mention that my regression doesn't look anything like my childhood (I'm Latin-Hispanic) so sometimes it feels like it's just a game of pretend or like I'm dressing up as a white person so that I can fit in with the "rest of the kids" ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟;;;�� (I, of course, mean no offense to anyone)

Thoughts and feelings are fast and troublesome.

But it's not all that bad either!!

With the big thoughts come even bigger hugs and kisses! With the back/joint pain comes back rubs and tickles (With consent of course🩷) and soft pillows n plushies to rest on!! When I feel like stimming I (very luckily) have a cg who's willing to rock me n do all the stimmy things with me! ૮( ˃ ꒳ ˂)ა He's always willing to work around the stuff I like and don't like and knows what food is safe and not safe :3

I feel that because I'm so different a whole other world gets unlocked through my regression!! I want to experience so much and rewrite the story that little me had to live through. I want to bring comfort to those who don't exactly have any guidance or the means for said comfort.

My regression is different from most but also valid and very common! I love this community and I love that it's been here for me for my hardest times 🩷 I'd love to be an older figure in the community (since I'm so grown up now!! I grew from 13 to almost 21 in the blink of a eye!!) that guides the new generation one step at a time :] There's so much more that I can say about my regression but this is getting long and I think I've covered a good amount of it ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა

Thank you so much @littletism for joining the game and asking me this question!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა (also I love your blog its so so cute and it'd be so cool if we could be friends maybe ८,,◐⩊◐,,ა /nf)

Anywho until next time!!

- Kyupie ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

[depressopax]

Dale cooper nsfw alphabet pls

I got you anon!!! I'd love to post the whole thing now, but didn't have the inspiration 😭 Sorryyy Will post the next parts soon!! <3

Dale Cooper NSFW alphabet

Fandom - Twin Peaks

Pairing: Dale Cooper x gender neutral reader Genre: Smut, headcanons Warning(s): Sexual content. Reader is gender neutral and referred to as "partner" Words: 700 Summary: Dale Cooper NSFW headcanons, part 1 A-F English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Have said it before and will say it again

AFTERCARE KING!

Loves giving and receiving aftercare.

Sex with him can get intense - whether he’s on top or he’s bottom. 

So he appreciates some good aftercare 

He showers you with love. 

Letting you know how well you did, how good it felt etc…

Homeboy is an overthinker. He’s anxious he did something wrong “Was it good to you?”“Did I hurt you?”“Are you ok, my love?”

He also appreciates receiving aftercare after being submissive to him

Absolutely LOVES when you stroke his hair and lets him rest his head against your chest

Taking baths together, massages… You name it.

He doesn’t like going to sleep in a mess, so he cleans you and himself up, and offers to fix the bed if things get messy.

A cuddler <3

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Dale: His hands. He likes the way they can make you feel. And oh boy he knows how to use his hands. 

His fingers are long, not so thick but he definitely knows how to curl them to give you pleasure.

He really likes giving you handjobs/fingering you.

…And covering your mouth with his hand, having you sucking on his fingers when you moan to loudly

Like I said, he’s skilled with his hands and takes pride in the things he can do. (...I think I have a thing for hands, sorry not sorry)

You: - Non-sexual: Your eyes. He could stare into your eyes for hours and never get tired of them. - Sexually; he loves your lips. 

The sounds that leave your mouth during sex, the way those pretty lips feel wrapped around his cock… 

And the way you bite your lip drives him wild, too.

I mean, what’s there not to love?

Also I feel like he’s an ass guy. 

Big or small cake? 

…He eats both ;)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He doesn’t like leaving a mess, so he likes finishing inside condoms

…If you use condoms, ofc.

He thinks it’s hot to finish on your body, usually your face or chest, but he wouldn’t admit that. 

When you cum, he doesn’t mind a mess tho.

He likes watching you finish and is always amazed by how he manages to make you feel so good

Definitely helps you clean up after you climax

Not with a towel tho iykwim… 🤭

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Dale has a thing for orgasm-denial, edging and overstimulation.

Sometimes when he jerks off, he edges himself just to “spice it up”

Likes it when his partners do these things to him.

There's something about the frustration of it that turns him on. He’s turned on by the thought of you having complete control of him, not even letting him control his own releases. 

He thinks doing these things to you is fun too lol

Watching you tear up as he keep denying your orgasm 

Driving you to the point where you whimper and beg for him is extremely attractive

And the intense orgasms you have when he finally allows them… 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s had a few partners before, so he knows what he’s doing.

Still, he was nervous his first time with you.

He wanted to make it feel good for the both of you

He’d be especially nervous if it was your first time

Dale is very observant and keep track of how you react 

This way, he figures out just how to touch you to make you satisfied

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Dale likes the “classic” positions. 

His fav is definitely missionary.

He likes how intimate it is, and wants to see your face when he thrusts into you

He also likes 69, so he can tease you with his tongue, whilst getting taken care of.

[help-im-a-medstudent]

Hi! I'm a clinical medical student on placement. I've been recently struggling with getting flashback (blood) into cannulas and vacutainers and struggle to ascertain patient veins. Do you have any advice about how I can get blood into cannulas/vacutainers and palpate patient veins. I'd be very grateful.

Oh man I HATED cannulas as a med student, although I had the opposite problem, where I would get flashback but couldn't advance and fully site the cannula.

Also apologies for the delay on replying to this, it's been a busy end of placement to get things sorted haha

My tips would be:

take your time with EVERYTHING. Make sure you've got all your equipment set up and to hand, because just slightly turning to try and pick up the blood bottles or flush or something can cause a slight movement in the needle and cause it to come out of the vein. Similarly take your time selecting the best vein and also advance the needle slowly - it's difficult to judge how deep the vein is just by palpating, especially if its in the ACF, so it's easy to get flashback but advance too far. Stop at the first sign of flashback then advance a small amount (about 1cm unless you're inserting a widebore cannula) to ensure the entire needle tip and cannula tip are in the vein, but haven't gone through the other side. Also get yourself and the patient into an optimal position. I can guarantee this helps, because the cannulas I most commonly missed are ones where I'm slightly at an angle, trying to get around stuff around the bed, or have tried to do it without the patient's arm being fully straight. Get a second pair of hands to help position the patient if they aren't able to do it themselves. It's not a failure or sign you're bad at cannulas if you have to do this, and means you're more likely to get it first time so that's better for the patient

Rest added under the cut

2. Get the skin taut Especially with older people who's skin has list some of the collagen, or if the patient is dehydrated. Palpate where the vein is when you've got the skin taut and keep it there. Veins can wriggle especially when trying to get a needle in them, but they move when the skin is pulled so there's no point palpating unless you've got the vein in the position you're going to approach it from

3. Tap, use alcohol wipes and gravity The hand veins can pop up really nicely with a bit of encouragement. Get the tourniquet close to the hand, get the patient to open and close their fist and dangle their hand over the side of the bed for a bit to get the veins nice and juicy.

4. Think about anatomy You don't always need to go in the middle of the ACF - I like to feel in the lateral or medial parts because the veins can be more palpable. Also people often have a nice one running from the thumb joint along the back of the hand over the wrist (it's often nice and straight and doesn't have valves/confluences with other veins) image below for demonstration:

5. Don't automatically get a smaller gauge needle It's tempting to think oh I'll use a blue because the veins are small/difficult, but actually you're more likely to miss with a smaller one and it's more likely to clot when trying to take blood off, and less likely to be properly in the vein if it's deeper.

That's all off the top of my head but basically it's just doing them over and over again until it feels natural and easy. Also US guided is great but I'd recommend not just immediately learning and relying on US because it's slower, there's not always a machine around and it's fiddly (also it does feel really satisfying getting a tricky one in without the US). Get good at it without ultrasound then add that skill to your repertoire later :)

If anyone else has tips feel free to add on!

[weskie]

Thank you for tagging me @judasiskariot

How many works do you have on AO3? - 41. 10 of them are for Wesker, the rest are for Homelander

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? -349,864 words. Some of that comes from a hidden/unpublished work though.

3. What fandoms do you write for?  -The Boys and Resident Evil

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  Tender Threads, Satisfy Me, One Big Wet Spot, Say Please, Give and Take. All of these are Homie fics

5. Do you respond to comments? -I try my best to get around to it as much as I can. Sometimes I just stare at them lovingly and reply in my head and forget to actually reply ajsdfhkll but I do read all of them

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? -I never actually posted it, but it was a sad ass fic about my oc for the boys and homie. I don't like writing main character death, but I got inspired by gen v and had to get it out of my head

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? -Envy for my homie stuff, and A New Dawn for my wesker stuff

8. Do you get hate on fics? - I've never gotten hate on any of my wesker fics, but I've gotten some nasty anons over my homelander stuff. particularly some transphobic nonsense about my oc and the fact he's paired with homie, which is wack to be transphobic

9. Do you write smut? -Religiously lol

10. Do you write crossovers?   -I haven't, but maybe one day

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?  - Not that I'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? - No, but I've had a German friend help verify the accuracy of some dialogue translations for one

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?  - Nope

 14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? -I don't really have one, but I'd say my oc x homie. I wanna make an oc to pair with wesker and they'd probably end up pretty close in terms of favorites lol.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? - I have so many for both fandoms I write for.

16. What are your writing strengths? - I have no idea lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses? -Girl all of them lmaO

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? - I think it can be hit or miss, but, if you make clear what was said for readers who don't understand, it can definitely work!

19. First fandom you wrote for?  -Ehhh... I wanna say Alien? I wrote for Fassbender's David but took it down after an irl friend mocked me mercilessly for it (fuck you alexa)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? -adsfhjkl; you can't ask me to choose like this. I have a lot of love for pretty much everything I've written.

open tags, participate if you want <3

[ponett]

here's another slarpg Q&A roundup from my retrospring! this contains light spoilers for the game

in the past you've gone over how tall each of the main party are, so lemme ask you this instead: How tall are Beverly and Faith?

faith is 6'6". she is very tall. beverly's sprite is probably larger, but that's more a matter of NPC sprites generally being big rather than an indication of her actual height. i'd say she's only supposed to be around 6', give or take

What cartoons does pepper like

bartholomew only lets her watch ones that will be a bad influence on her like invader zim

We know Claire drinks, what about the rest of the Novas?

jodie and allison will drink some at social gatherings. melody tends not to, though, so if they're out together allison will usually limit herself so melody doesn't feel out of place

How do you feel about fanworks of slarpg? Specifically, which mediums would you be okay with fanworks existing in, and how do you feel about people using assets from the game?

fanworks of basically all kinds are encouraged! there's already a (very small) fangame about melody's cat in the works and i think that rules. considering my own roots as a fanartist and fangame creator i think it would be lame of me to discourage that

that being said, a few simple stipulations:

1) i ask people hold off on any sort of mass-produced merch like t-shirts or pins. custom items, commissioning someone to draw the cast, a small run of prints sold at a con table, etc. are fine by me, but i may end up making merch myself and bee and i need to make a living off of this game. when we're an operation this small, putting up a bunch of slarpg designs on redbubble could be a problem for me

2) please do not use visual assets from slarpg (including edits of my sprites) in a commercial product. using them in a mod or a freeware fangame is fine, though

3) if you do make a fangame or mod or whatever, please make sure it's clearly stated that it's unofficial, and also please don't just publicly distribute the entire game for free (modded or otherwise)

Between the 3 types of paladin Melody can become what one is the one that you pick for her?

i do a different one every playthrough >:)

From a story perspective, not a mechanical one: was polyamory ever a consideration for the party members in SLARPG? Can you see any polyamorous relationships working well between main-cast members, even if only for a little while?

i would be lying if i said this was a thing i had never considered, at least a little. it was never a serious plan for the game, but as the story and the character dynamics beyond the main couples evolved there were definitely scenes where i looked at what i'd written and went "oh people are gonna ship this, huh." i definitely see it in my own writing, believe me

the main thing is just that i don't entirely know how i would go about writing poly relationships in a satisfying way. for one i've never been part of a poly relationship, so i can't write from my own experiences there. but also i feel my strongest writing tends to focus on pairs of characters (hence all the one-on-one scenes in slarpg), so it becomes trickier when, for example, a character has two partners. i'd worry about making one more important than the other in terms of narrative focus just because of how i write. i could easily see a version of events where certain characters start dating certain other characters on top of their canon partners, though. i just don't know if it's something that i'd ever really explore myself

but i guess that's what fanfic is for

what's your favorite joke in SLARPG that got left on the cutting room floor?

i really wanted to find a way to make "irony poisoning" a status ailment but could never figure out a good way to do so

how long has claire been on hrt?

i actually couldn't say if claire is on hormones. if she is it hasn't been for as long as melody (who's been on hrt for several years by the start of the game)

I noticed your game seems very deliberate on exactly how it approaches the topic of sex and suggestive content. Obviously it wanted to avoid being "horny furry bait game." But, it also avoided being aggressively chaste as well. It struck a careful balance, where it gives the impression that it's something characters do and think about, but isn't the focus of the story so it stays incidental. Was there ever much consideration on the exact tone in this regard? Or did you just do what felt like a good fit?

this was absolutely something i thought about a LOT. perhaps more than people realize!

i mean for one, yes, the problem of people assuming the game was just furry porn based on the title was always an issue. (not that there's anything wrong with furry porn games, this just isn't one.) the game's origins as a successor to an old fangame also presented an issue, because i was worried that people who knew about the old project but hadn't actually played it might, like, assume that it was extremely horny if i pushed things in slarpg too far? which could, in turn, color peoples' perception of slarpg. they're very distinct projects to me, but i'll never escape the reductive perception of them being Literally The Same Game

at the same time, i started work on the game at age 21 and finished it almost age 29, and in that period my feelings about what i wanted to make and also the attitudes in the wider queer community shifted a lot. there's been pushback against the idea that queer media always needs to be "wholesome" and "pure," with conflicting attitudes about the "wholesome games" marketing label in the indie scene mixing with very valid fears about puritanism growing in the queer community online - stuff like the perpetual "kink at pride" fearmongering. and i didn't want to be seen as being part of some push to erase the sex from sexuality or whatever. even beyond that, i've always kind of rankled at the "cute aesthetic = wholesome" thing. i worried about the idea that the game was "wholesome" and all fluff leading to people getting upset at the more intense parts of the story. and also, just, you know. the characters are all in their 20s. i think it would be weird if they didn't know what sex or alcohol or swear words or whatever were. i think they'd become less relatable and real if it was too sanitized

but of course the flipside is that it's a 16-bit jrpg throwback game and i was absolutely overthinking how much people expected adult themes to be touched upon, queer subject matter or no. i think i struck a good balance in the end where it's lightly acknowledged without disrupting the expected tone of the genre. i'm glad it's speaking to people

(why yes i struggle with RSD how can you tell)

How seriously does Allison take caring for her sword(s)? As an unabashed ADHD sword lesbian myself I gotta say it's a not insignificant amount of (very fulfilling) work.

i think her natural inclination would be to be a little careless with them, but countless lectures from jodie have instilled a sense of responsibility in her when it comes to taking proper care of her weapons

I ask this with no weird intentions - characters like Melody and Jodie have no paw pads on their hands, but do they have them on their feet?

you know what? sure. why not

how did faith get such a big job at 24? did she know someone... is there nepotism in this world. I demand accountability.

faith was always an overachiever and was basically training throughout her teens and early 20s to become guardian. when she put herself out there as a candidate she was already generally popular with the community for her skill with magic and her work ethic, so it wasn't hard for her to win the election in a small town like greenridge

Were there any plans during development for Allison or the other two to meet or confront Harmony in the Astral Plane? Or was she always just meant to be exclusive to Melody's character arc?

the entirety of what was planned for harmony is there in the game

is the city shown in the intro supposed to be brightport?

not necessarily! the identity of the city in the intro is unspecified, although brightport definitely looks something like that

Jodie’s theme from when she was gonna be a dog (apparently?) has a very different feel to it. Was her puppysona a very different character than the danger kitten? Or was her intro in the story simply different?

i was still just figuring out jodie as a character at the time - both her design AND her personality - so bee didn't have the most complete information to work off of when trying to write the fourth character theme

i think initially she was going to perhaps be somewhat more brash, being the one Actually Qualified Adventurer on the team who's surprised that her friends made it so far without her, and she would've been exasperated with claire's shenanigans instead of enabling them. she was also intended to be more of a foil to melody, seeming to be (from melody's perspective) the person everyone compares her to. which might be why i thought to make her a canid? this juxtaposition between the two is still an element in the game, but it's more subtle and i rarely draw direct attention to it. and she was intended to be much more bullheaded, with her arc revolving around her running off and picking a fight that really didn't need to be picked off-screen to set up a side quest that was completely cut

obviously a lot of this doesn't sound very much like jodie at all! she was the character i struggled to nail down the most. if she was too brash and critical of claire's decisions then she'd have way too much overlap with allison, so instead she became claire's best friend who's supportive and trusting to a fault, and who's also the most earnest and straightforward member of the team

[cursedvibes]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @voxofthevoid

Thank you! And congratulations to the 2 mil words 🥳

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

22

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

228,925

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Jujutsu Kaisen so far. And I published an original fic anonymously. I also have some ideas for Naruto (or more like the Sannin), Houseki no Kuni and Monster fics, but I'm not getting there any time soon.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

People really seem to like the more or less wholesome Itadori family stuff

Call Me A Familiar Stranger (Kenjaku & Yuuji) - I really didn't expect this one to be so popular, since it was essentially just a scrapped idea for another chapter of Chance Encounter.

Chance Encounter (Kenjaku & Yuuji)

Familial Units (Kenjaku & Yuuji, Jin/Kenjaku)

Stitches Across the Eye (Jin/Kenjaku) - my long term project that I will hopefully finish next year...

First Time (Jin/Kenjaku) - My #1 smut fic. It's really surprising to see it this high because it didn't do that well in the beginning, but recently I've been getting a lot of notifications for it.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but it might take weeks 😬 It's always in the back of my head though and especially with the longer ones I feel bad for not responding quickly. Usually, I feel really stupid with the stuff I say in response, but I hope that doesn't shine through. I really appreciate every single one. I have a whole folder of screenshotted comments, bookmark descriptions and tumblr tags, asks and mentions.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh boy, that's a tough pick. I'd say either Midnight Tea or In the Quiet of the Cold because they both end with Jin's corpse rotting on the floor and a deeply traumatized Yuuji.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think First Time is my most wholesome fic so far. Lots of vivid descriptions of Kenjaku's brain, but Jin is actually really happy about how touching his wife's organs can be a bonding experience. It's how he copes with Kaori's temporal death uwu. Even Kenjaku catches some feelings.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not really. There was that comment recently saying I should tag First Time dead dove, but that was more weird, not hateful. Some people also have some strong emotions about Kenjaku surgically removing Gojo's eye in Familial Units, but they always end in "I didn't read the tags/didn't take them seriously, my bad".

9. Do you write smut?

I try to...it's one of the writing things I struggle with the most. I have a couple of smut WIPs, but most I don't think are good enough to be published.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No. I don't read many crossovers either. Just doesn't interest me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I actually got asked just yesterday by someone if they could translate Don't Think About The Past into Spanish. It's a first for me, I feel really honoured.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. Depending on the idea I wouldn't be opposed to it tho.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I don't think I have something like that. There aren't that many ships I'm really crazy about anyway. TenKen and JinKen are definitely my favourite to write about tho.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Feel The Life Unmade. I just don't feel that satisfied about the set-up and the characters I included in there. The topic and time period is really interesting though and I want to write more about the Death Painting experiment, but not here. I decided that I will write a little bit more of chapter 3 until I get to a specific cut-off point (around 1k more words than I already have in my draft of ch3), then throw it on AO3 and incorporate the rest of my ideas in other fics. The first chapter of Haunting Past is how I wanted to end Life Unmade and some other ideas will be included in the WIP I'm currently writing.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Atmosphere I would say, particularly writing unsettling and creepy scenes. I've also been told by people that they really like my characterizations. Recently, someone commented that I manage to write Kenjaku in a way that you feel their old age, but also connection to current society and culture, which made me really happy because that's a balance I try to pay close attention to.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut. And I really mean smut, not sex. I can write sex, but making it hot and appealing is where I struggle. It always feels so hollow and silly when I reread it. Gross, anxiety inducing sex scenes I can do, but making sex sexy is hard for me. Guess that's the reason I have an easier time with MahiKen smut. It's nastier. Action scenes are hard too, but I haven't really encountered many scenarios where I would really need them, so I just don't have much practice in writing them. I also tend to focus more on a character's inner world and actions scenes don't lend themselves well to that.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's fine I guess? I don't think I ever had to incorporate that in a fic (if we're talking about an exchange of multiple sentences and not just short phrases) and I would only include it if the POV character doesn't understand the language. I'd also only use it if it's a language I am confident I can represent properly. I suffered through a lot of broken German, I know how it is to have supposed native speakers not know basic grammar (or in TV pronunciation...it's one thing to have an accent, but German in American shows/movies is often just unintelligible).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically Tanz der Vampire, when I was 14 or 15, but I didn't publish any of it. Wouldn't know where I would've done that anyway. Besides that, JJK is the first fandom I decided to invest a lot of time in to write and publish fanfics for.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Picking Up The Pieces. I threw in a lot of my Heian TenKen hcs and it allowed me to explore a more manipulative side of Tengen. Also, it is very fun to have Kenjaku in such a vulnerable position, that doesn't happen very often.

I don't know 20 fic writers :') (or not well enough to dare to tag them) No pressure to do this or respond of course. Also, if anyone else sees this and wants to do it, feel free to take this as your tag

@hxhhasmysoul @perelka-l @urostakako @kaitakushi @frankenjoly @kenjakusbrainstem

[griseldabanks]

1, 2, 7-10, 14, 17, and 23 for the Fic Writer's Ask, please?

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

Probably my Captain America fic Make Me Whole, which is about what would happen if Steve decided to save the Winter Soldier without knowing that he's Bucky. It's the kind of thing where, if you like this fic, there's a good chance you'll find some other fics of mine to your liking; if you don't like this fic, you probably won't care for most of my other writing either. And while it's the first of an ongoing series, it provides a fairly satisfactory ending in itself, if you don't want to read any more.

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

"Angst," "Alternate Universe," and "Angst & Hurt/Comfort." Yep, sounds about right! I love me a good AU, and I'm all about that angsty angsty goodness.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

I'm pretty pleased with the worldbuilding I did for Creta in my FMA fic of skulls and secrets. I went for "vaguely Italian" for inspiration, and also researched some real-world alchemists to rework into the story I wanted to tell. One of my favorite parts of writing that fic was writing Ed speaking Cretan, which he's good at reading but terrible at speaking, so it's kind of like he's translating each word separately as he hears it rather than understanding the sentence as a whole. For example: "I myself never seeing, never asking about either was. Alchemy—too many brains for this of mine head!"

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

From the first time I heard it, "Still Be You" by David Hodges sounded to me like a soulmate AU. I may write it someday myself (since nobody knows David Hodges, alas), but the trick is deciding exactly how the soulmate stuff works, and what characters it would be about.

9. How do you find new fic to read?

I have a backlog of fics I want to read from the past, like, ten years at least, so I'm all set XD (And what puts it on that list is usually either a recommendation from someone I trust or an author that I read one fic and liked, so I decided to go through all their other fics.

10. How do you decide what to write?

What grabs me and won't let go? What plot bunnies gnaw at me in the dark watches of the night as I try to fall asleep? What is such a good idea that it pushes past the insecurity and laziness so I end up writing it despite myself?

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

You know, the first thing that popped into my head was the fic my friend @dairogo wrote subverting the "there was only one bed" trope. She's probably the only one I'd trust to do that right XD

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

Now, that would be telling ;)

Uhh...most of the ideas floating around in my head are AUs, really, and a lot of them are ones with the potential to be popular if I ever get around to writing them, like the FMA/Firefly crossover I've been wanting to do for years. But I think I'll go with a Final Fantasy X fic I actually have all planned out but just too many other things I'd rather write first. It would be called The Path to Sin, and it's based on an FFX RP I did way back in the day that fell apart with no satisfying conclusion, but then I brainstormed the rest of the story with my brother one summer. It was super fun, and basically went from "just another summoner's voyage to defeat Sin" to a really epic alternate story of how Sin could be defeated for good. I don't even remember all the details, but it would make a really epic chapterfic...unfortunately, I feel like very few people would know/care enough about FFX to bother reading it, so the motivation to actually write it is pretty low at this point ^^'

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

After thinking about this too much, I'm going with my answer for number 8. I've never written a soulmate AU, but I kinda want to if I can figure out a really good story for it.

Fic Writer Ask Game

[peachysunrize]

- Aemond's 🧸

re–reading through my tho(ugh)t, i realised witch!reader *is* in fact Alys Rivers coded since she's partly why Daemon in Harrenhal is having all those vision, prophetic dreams idk! and i wasn't that specific with the "said in a British way", i meant 'peedo' (pronounced how it's spelt), i should've written "said in a British accent"... ANYWAY! ignore this, it's just me and my perfectionism getting the better of me (perhaps undiagnosed ocd..? who knows!)

https://www.tumblr.com/peachysunrize/762047999454167040/really-got-en-thinking-thots-at-553-in-the?source=share

i'm so sorry 🪴 nonnie for making you stay up *so* late with those tho(ugh)ts of yours :( you need your beauty sleep x omgosh, bath–s£x w/ Aemond would be a dream come true, want to see him thrash about in the water whether he's subbing or on top (of me!) w/ droplet's cascading down his abdomen and his c0€k all slippery and wet... also i feel as though if Aemond were to fall off the bed mid–s£x, wether 0r4l or intercourse he'd be *so* embarrassed :(

https://www.tumblr.com/peachysunrize/762116876335759360/got-me-freaking-out-so-hard-that-i-almost-missed?source=share

please don't miss your bus! 'sorry' (again...) 🪴 emoji anon for making you freak out <3 or am i..? and you grew flowers, yipee! and there's a daisy 🌼 there x also thank you Rue for the daisies 🌼 as well, i'm so relieved to hear that you think my tho(ugh)ts are AMAZING! and the fact that they make you salivate 🤭 like we're twinning <3 i sometimes can't believe i can conjure up *and* then WRITE DOWN this filth...

anywho... bcs i lay–out majority of my smutty drabbles/blurbs in my notes app, i like to think that as my diary so! imagine Aemond finding reader's (my) journal and he's flicking through the pages and it's just entries and entries of scribble stating what she'd like 'to do' to him and what she wants Aemond 'to do' to her, describing the way he makes her 'feel' when she's around him and confessing how she t0u€h£s herself in the dead of night to the thought of him, wishing her fingers were as long and thick in girth and curved as his, and the jackpot: sketching a few anatomy practices here and there in the margins but Aemond is the face of *all* of them and what reader thinks Aemond's body would look like underneath all those leather, dragon–riding dublets and tunic layers 🤗

and, what about Elvira!coded–reader (since we already have Alys) what would canon!Aemond think of her..? always having her br£a$ts out on display that her n!ps nearly spill out... how'd he react to that? or the tantalising and suggestive 'poses' she purposefully makes in front of Aemond which to the naked eye hold no sexual meaning but he knows us all too well 🤭 doing it in front of others and he's trying to hide away his b0n£r, awh... bet he's made his small clothes/shift all sticky :( dirty boy...

i *really* need Aemond to take his frustration out on me #angrys£x when i agree to go to Harrenhal w/ him and we're in the same room Daemon stayed in... just want to make his c0€k satisfied and bring a 'peace of mind' to him, he's so stressed poor rūs ('baby' in High–Valyrian) and none of his family members are being grateful for his efforts to fulfill his second–son duties :( i'd be there for him to stuff his d!€k into 🧸 'cotton–stuffed' *wink, wink* do it in ANY position on EVERY surface... like he's barely able to sleep bcs of Alys and her 'prophetic' dreams that i'd let him plow ALL of his c0m£ and milk the spurts which are left until he passes out from exhaustion so he can finally rest #soselflessofme!

I’m gonna give you thousand daisies for this thot you had me kicking my feet the entire time heeeeheeee🌼😭

No cause leave me alone with Aemond in Harrenhal and we’ll make house Targaryen all over again and call them Riverlands coded Targs cause Harrenhal will be FILLED with Targaryen kids running around

Poor poor baby no one appreciates him(his family) and his cock(Sylvie🤛🏻) so WE SHOULD DO IT OURSELVES!!!!!

Imagine if he steals the diary and makes you PANIC because what if the queen found it omg Alicent would drag you to the sept and you would pray with her and sosjosja suddenly Aemond joins you and prays too (Alicent obv doesn’t know about the diary she just want someone to accompany her to the sept but Aemond knows and he’s like hehe payback)

[mamuzzy]

From your angst prompt list I'd like to ask for Fives x Deadshot! <3

With either:

"I'm the only one who gets to decide if someone deserves me, and I can confidently say you are that someone who does"

or:

"You're right, I do deserve better"

Depending on how much angst you wanna put into it 😈

Oooooooh boy. Oooooh boy. You really gave me a challenge here @ithillia. But you also made me write the first debut of my babyblorbo in a fanfiction, you can't imagine how happy I am that I could finaly made it happen <3 It took a time while I figured it out how I integrate the lines into the fic without sounding OOC or off but I think I'm satisfied with the outcome. I hope you will like it too <3 PREPARE FOR HEARTBREAK!!! So in the end I went with

"I'm the only one who gets to decide if someone deserves me, and I can confidently say you are that someone who does"

Summary: Captain Rex had enough with Deadshot's digging into the past and decided it's time to have a conversation neither of them wished to have. Word count: 2446 Rating: Mature, no explicit content, characters swear. Talking about a dead person and grief. Characters: ARC Trooper Deadshot, Captain Rex, ARC Trooper Fives Relationship: FivesShots (cloneship) Warning: Splitting. The characters are emotionally conspitated and have mentalhealth problems. NO BETA. Additional tags/tropes: Fives is Rex's adopted son, Fives and Shots is in established relationship, clones speak mando'a (just a little), Deadshot is a little shit. Amnesia due to recondition. AND ANGST. LOTS OF ANGST.

Alright. Here we go. :)))))

“Wanted to speak with me, sir?” asked Deadshot, and since he wasn’t given a permission to sit down, he stood before the Rex’s desk. For his surprise, he was offered a seat.

“Sit” said Rex without looking up from the paperwork.

Deadshot hesitated a bit, he wasn’t comfortable about sitting down to the sligthest but in the end, obliged.The flickering booming of the lights irritated Deadshot just as the silence they had between them, and he couldn’t be sure why he was called the first place. He watched as the captain signed the last datapad, putting away on the top of the organized pile at the right side of the anyway-pristine clean desk. Rex then looked up, straight into his eyes. Dark browns started to squint after the first few second, but in the end - as always -, Rex averted his gaze, cupped his face in one hand until only the furrowed wrinkles were visibe on his forehead which made him look so old, Deadshot almost almost felt sorry for him. Almost. By now everything was clear for Deadshot why was Rex was so hostile with him before but the sweet taste satisfaction and victory killed any compassion he had left for the captain.

“I want you to stop” Rex finaly spoken up, weariness in his tone.

“Sir?” Deadshot scoured the captain for messages wasn’t spoken out loud but he probably should have known without telling.

“This existential crisis of yours.” Oh.

“I have a lot going on, sir, you have to be more specific than that.”

This made Rex come out from hiding, expression exasperated, those dark eyebrows curled disapprovingly. “Don’t be a smartass with me.”

“Sorry, sir.”

Rex leaned in his chairs, hands now rested on the desk, fingers tied together and looked at him once more. And Deadshot stared back with his usual skeptical look on his face, ambery eyes ever-judgeful. He started to notice some patterns when the captain was able to maintaining eye-contact with him, irises shifted toward the left side of the eye, probably have found a spot to stare at instead of him. His ears probably.

“You got your answers now.”

Rex had not ask a question so this time Deadshot didn’t respond, just waited for Rex to elaborate.

“You figured it out, who you were. What have you done. What now? What else do you want?”

Deadshot considered his next words. Rex was right about him, he was still in investigation about his past but for entirely different reason now.

“I need to know why I had to die, sir.”

“You know it very well.”

“And I think that’s a lie, sir. I have a gut-feeling about it and…”

“I don’t give damn about your gut-feeling, Deadshot” said Rex harshly. Deadshot was tempted to say that he also didn’t give a damn about Rex’s opinion but, swallowed and just stared into those brown eyes, just to spite him in hope he can manage secure another victory of dominance again. But Rex didn’t turned his face away, not this time, because Rex continued speaking.

“These brilliant gut-feelings of yours will be our downfall one day. Have you ever considered what would happen if someone recognizes you? Do I really need to lock you up in the solitary everytime I can’t keep my eye on you? Maybe you had forgotten what would have happened if someone recognized you on Coruscant?!”

“Sir…?”

“You almost got us killed with that stunt.”

Deadshot couldn’t say anything. Deep inside his mind he knew Rex was right, right about this one at least, but still, the captain shouldn’t have to state it like he was deliberately wanted to ruin the muster with that panic attack. He felt those few bites of rationbars switching places in his stomach. He had to endure it.

“I risk everything” Rex continued. “Everything, my company, my men, my only son remained, the very trust of General Skywalker put in me, to cover your shebs.”

“I’ve never asked for this, sir-“

“But you are here, now, in the present. Now that you know why is it important to keep your identity a secret, you are still reckless. You are an ARC Trooper for fuck sake, and I get it, your duty calls you to work alone, but you have responsibilities toward the company and your personal agenda endangers your brothers every time you decide to going after your own head.”

“So convenient of you deciding when I’m one of you and when I’m just a walking ghost of-“

“DON’T!” Rex raised his hand to emphasise on his objection. “Don’t. I don’t want to hear his name, I don’t want to hear that name ever again. He is dead. He was dead to us even when he was alive.”

“So I’ve heard. And with all due respect sir, I don’t give a shit about it” Deadshot felt a sudden surge of confidence, probably came from his anger and he felt he really wanted to flood Rex with everything he got. “He was an asshole, I get it. For every sin he committed against the Republic, against you against his batchmates, I have to suffer ten times, wielding this burden like it was mine all alone and you know what? It is. It’s mine alone. Maybe I deserve to be treated like shit, maybe I deserve to be spitted on because the face I have or what it represent to those… what, like, three people who actually recognized me?” Deadshot counted on his fingers, gesticulating his inner frustration. “And didn’t gave a single cocksucking shit about me when I needed help? You are all cowards.”

Rex rubbed his forehead again, mouth pressed like he was in pain, stifled any emotion that was about to come out.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” asked Deadshot, confused.

“For not being a good commander for you.”

Deadshot expression distorted by spiteful bitterness faded away, left only cautios skepticism. He finally got to tell him everything this time. His anger, his disappointment in him, the words just flowed like sluice opened to ease the waters behind it before breaking out, under supervision and control. He never would have hoped for such opportunity. His whole body felt the tension, like his inner self scratched the surface of his skin from behind, but this time it wasn’t the crawling sensation in his veins, hoping for an easing scratch, more like, wanting to detach himself, because he wasn’t sure how would he able to handle these uncharted waters of… finally having the attention of Captain Rex.

“I wasn’t fair with you, right from the start. I have responsibilities toward my men but even if you are… YOU, you are my trooper too.” Rex talked slowly, as if the words were hard to spoke. He wanted to be elsewhere, it would have been better to be outside, fight a fight and dying in the process, anything but not to be here. “I don’t know how, or why, but you were given a second chance and you are wasting it away by chasing demons of the past. Like I said, your past-self is dead. You have to move on, HELL, I HAVE TO MOVE ON but I can’t. But I have to. So should you! You don’t have to live with the memories you don’t even have, but I HAVE by looking at you, the way you walk, the way you fight, the same way you stare with those fucking judgmental eyes, your fucking eyes…” and Rex look straight into those eyes.

And Deadshot couldn’t bear to look back. He lowered his head, watchings his own hands fidgeting furiously in his lap. The silence stretched, the lamp still flickered.

“I’m also aware that you fuck my ad.”

Deadshot nearly chocked on air, positioning himself into a more comfortable stance on the chair, and couldn’t help but let out a disbelieving laugh.

“What does Fives has to with this?” asked after he managed to spit out coherent words.

“Everything” stated Rex, more confidently than he was in the whole conversation. “If you choose to continue down this road instead of listening to me, I want you to leave Fives out of it.”

“Sir, maybe I shouldn’t be the one you lock up in the solitary” Deadshot grinned nastily. “Wherever I go, he’ll follow. Nothing I can do about it.”

“Yes, that’s what I’m talking about.

”Sir?” Deadshot suddenly felt sick, the nauseous feeling that the known world is suddenly crumbling around him piece by piece again made his stomach turned 180 degree with a violent slam. Endure.

“With that face of yours and death lingering around, you’ll never have a chance to get promoted. Not if we want to keep your identity safe. Not if I want to keep my men alive. Fives, he has bright future ahead. Has potential to become a leader one day, much better than I ever was. Don’t take this away from him.”

Endure. Endure. Endure.

“But, sir…” Deadshot’s voice rasped, almost like a whisper. “But you just said…”

“When the war’s over, I can reassign you to somewhere else. Soldiers always needed, especially away from the Core. You can live in peace, nobody would bother you, nobody would search for you, we can… Cody knows a vod, he would just erase your whole existence from the database. This is… is the only thing I can offer to help you.”

If Rex told him anything after that, Deadshot couldn’t remember. Rex wanted to hide him. Away from his friends, his vode, his… FIVES, the very thought of being separated from Fives made him think swallowing a thermodetonator, this time, to finish the job the clankers couldn’t do last time but he also had to remind himself, that the clankers never shot him, the clankers never blown him up, it weren’t the clankers who gave him amnesia in the first place -endureENDUREENDURE-, but whatever, killing himself was a better option than living a solitary life away from his loved one!!! It’s not about the promotions, not about being treated specially, it…

He believed, he genuinly wanted to believe in Rex that maybe… maybe there was a future for him even without his memories, they were actually having a normal conversation for the first time and it turned out it was actually an elaborate ���nice commander talk” to… to what…?

But despite all of this, Rex was right, Deadshot knew it deep in his gut. The fucking gut-feeling. It’s logical. Completely understandable concern. Fives is daddy’s little boy, even with all the mischief and fooling around, Fives still had a chance to become someone great, if not from his own, then he got protection, from Rex, from the General, from the Chancellor himself, this elaborate network of interest could make it happen for Fives to have a good life after the war while the same network could destroy everything, not just for Fives but for everyone if he didn’t stay put… and he… and he… He was supposed to be dead to begin with.

— x —

0500 standard, his inner clock was always punctual. Deadshot laid on bed, eyes open, stared at the bunk wall. He wanted to sleep but his thoughts already raced into his darkest part of the mind right after being conscious, felt empty yet so weary at the same time, he just couldn’t make himself move and get his gear to visit the shooting range. He just couldn’t. The others were still sleeping, Jesse’s sudden snorts and Tup little pup sounds while turning to his other side broke the silent darkness.

Someone moved eventually, fumbled with the blankets, then barefooted steps, a mild sway during walk… Fives, thought Deadshot. Steps became louder as Fives approached his bed. The mattress slumped under one knee and Deadshot’s felt his own blanket lifted and the sudden cold made him shiver, cowered himself more with his hands. But the cold feeling faded as Fives’ hot, naked upper body pressed onto his back, carefully cover them with the blanket to keep the remaining heat inside and comfortably snuggled to his lover’s nape. When Deadshot’s stiffened body loosened in his touch, Fives embraced him, fingers slowly entwining on the former’s chest.

“Hey” Fives whispered, not to wake up the others and breathed a little kiss on the neck. Deadshot didn’t answer.

“You are skipping the morning routine again” Fives pushed.

“I don’t feel like it now.”

“Four days in a row” and since Deadshot was nitpicky about what to answer, Fives continued. “And you’re avoiding me.”

Endure, Deadshot reminded himself. Endure. He felt a familiar, hot stinging in the corner of his eyes. Fingers between fingers, Fives drew calming lines into the calloused skin.

“Alright. I won’t push. I… I just miss you. And wanted to tell you” Fives lifted himself a bit, positioning himself to reach Shot’s ear. “I love you.”

Deadshot began to tremble, he needed all his willpower not to open his mouth and let his sobbing out like an explosion. He didn’t wanted to be heard, he didn’t want Fives hear him, and definitely didn’t want the others hear him. He felt Fives hand tightening, his head bored to his, whispering calming words.

“Hey, hey, cyare, what’s wrong? Shhh… it’s okay… it’s okay…”

It wasn’t okay, nothing was okay.

“I don’t deserve you” said Deadshot with weak whimper through gritted teeth. Fives gasped at this declaration in disbelief and concern, his calming touches stopped for a moment. Tried to take it heartlightedly, take is as Deadshot usual “crisis-thing”.

“Hey… what’s with that answer?” He chuckled. “You have to say it back.”

But Deadshot couldn’t. The trembling won’t stop, every sweet reassuring words were daggers pierced through his chest, his brain, his teary eyes. The same hands kept him safe for a moment but now he only felt numb inside the embrace. Deadshot’s soundless cry, stiffled sniffing made Fives heart ache for him.

“You know what?” Fives spoke again with the same patience. “I’m the only one who gets to decide if someone deserves me, and I can confidently say you are that someone who does.” Fives hoped maybe his lover become eased by the little joke, maybe saying back something snarky, unimpressed remark about he is able to compliment HIMSELF while compilenting others, but it didn’t happen.

The ARC trooper smalls repressed hiccups turned into miserable whimpering, and his grip on Fives’s hand became so strong, it started to hurt, but Fives didn’t pulled his hand away, this pain was so little what must had Deadshot felt right now, Fives knew in his guts. He decided maybe… maybe he would just stay here, a voiceless-support until Deadshot was ready to talk.

[mdhwrites]

So, any theories on what Sasha's parents are like? Like I doubt they were perfect considering Sasha's behavior (remember when she outright stated in True Colors that she was okay never going back home and having zero problem with smashing the box, plus the fact she never shows signs of missing them even after her redemption in season 3). And considering how other redemptions are with their flawed relationship with family like Pacifica on Gravity Falls, Amity and Hunter on Owl House, Andrea on Ghost & Molly McGee, Zuko on Avatar the Last Airbender, Eddy on Ed Edd n Eddy, Catra on She Ra 2018, Lena on DuckTales 2017, Ludo on Star vs the Forces of Evil, and Helga on Hey Arnold, it's hard to believe Sasha had the best relationship with her parents. Granted Sunset Shimmer from the MLP FiM spin off Equestria Girls is a redemption character who also never had her family brought up or ever had an onscreen reason for why she was an evil and mean bully in the first movie (aside from probably just being an arrogant power hungry spoiled brat) so maybe Sasha's kinda like her in a sense too.

So this is a question I actually LOVE. There's a LOT you can glean off of a parent by their kid in general, let alone with any references to them. However... Them being redeemed doesn't always say anything about their relationship. Hell, for Amity since you listed her and I can comment, the speed of her redemption versus how much of a mustache twirling villain Odalia is ACTIVELY CONTRADICT EACH OTHER. It's REALLY bad.

Sasha's redemption says literally fuck all about her parents. Mostly because they don't mean anything to Sasha. Very little means anything to Sasha besides herself and her two best friends. Arguably not even Marcy.

The rest of her context to being willing to see the box destroyed and not return is critical here because she does actually explain herself. "Why rule a school when I can rule a world?" Her priority is self aggrandizing. It's not about freedom and it's not about safety. In fact, Sasha has cared very little for other's freedoms or her own safety. What matters is that Sasha is winning. Even Battle of the Bands made it clear that she is used to doing whatever it takes to be on top and getting her way.

Which to me doesn't mean abusive parents like you want to imply just through saying a lot of other shows did the trope of blaming abusive parents for bad behavior... It just means parents who thought the best way to make their daughter happy was to never tell her no. They let her live a life that had no consequences and where she didn't have to worry because if she skipped school or needed fifty bucks for gal pal time, they'd give it to her. This fits a lot more with Sasha's arc too because her arc has nothing to do with rebelling against her parents. She CHOSE to be a bad person. To not care about others. It's only by realizing that what she does hurt people with her actions and deciding they matter that she becomes a better person.

And to me, that's MUCH more compelling than trying to scapegoat what someone does onto their parent. It's not like everyone is evil just because their parents are shit. It devalues their choices as a character and is honestly a trope I'd like to see LESS. Or, bare minimum, not have standing up to their parent be like flipping a switch and making them automatically a good person because those scars last and their parents couldn't have made them do EVERY bad thing they did. Just look at Amity who decided "I'm going to make my ex-friend's life hell for YEARS despite only having to tell her we're not friends anymore to make my parents happy." That's not her parent's fault, that's her decision to be a monster.

At some point, the blame is on you for what you do. Narratively, for me, that's also more compelling and satisfying because it means you are the only one to blame for your gains too. People always have the choice to do good. It's their decision if it's too much work or relies on caring about others too much.

That to me is what makes Sasha so compelling and why anyone who wanted to see her parents I think are just asking for a categorically weaker story.

======+++++======

I didn't mean for the two blogs to be on a theme today but I decided on this anyways since I had both typed up. For anyone curious why I thought the previous one was dumb but this one was fun, it's simple: One asked if it belonged in the narrative. This one is just nice old character analysis.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[blueberry-lemon]

My Top 10 Favorite Indie Games of 2022! There were so many cool indie games this year, all of which were very very different, but here's the small sliver that I'd like to shout-out.

You can also view the list here on Backloggd.

Number 1: Crystal Project

A truly unique RPG. Imagine Final Fantasy 5 with open-world BOTW exploration, 3D platforming, and it's all left to uncover on your own.

A special experience I'll never forget, and now has Randomizer options to do it all again.

Number 2: Potionomics

A really in-depth potion shopkeeper game with loads of charm and strategy. Brew potions, send out adventure parties, boost relationships with NPCs, and do deckbuilding sales negotiations. The loop is so satisfying, and the art is beautiful.

Number 3: Orb of Creation

Incremental game, idle game, clicker game, whatever you call it, this is one of the most mechanically interesting of any of the ones I've tried. Advancing through the unlock trees is the primary puzzle itself, using all sorts of systems at your disposal.

Number 4: Citizen Sleeper

I haven't finished quite yet, but this is a really engaging story about life under oppressive systems, scraping by the best you can, and making alliances with other folks who are desperate. The dice-slotting mechanic is so smart here.

Number 5: Grapple Dog

A colorful, charming, and beautifully animated platformer. Very satisfying to go through levels, get the collectables, and challenge yourself to bonus levels. If you master it, the sense of momentum is so fluid.

and the rest of the list...

Olli Olli World

Chained Echoes

Neon White

Trombone Champ

A tie between Super Kiwi 64 and Lunistice

My Top 10 Favorite AAA Games of 2022

Splatoon 3

Marvel Snap (small design team, but i'm counting this as AAA)

Pokemon Legends Arceus

Kirby and the Forgotten Land

Triangle Strategy

Xenoblade Chronicles 3

Live A Live

Marvel Midnight Suns

Multiversus

Elden Ring

There were lots of other cool games this year, like Chiki's Chase, Tunic, Nobody Saves The World, Poinpy, Tinyfolks, and Kardboard Kings!

Excited for 2023.