#reality hitting hard

[mylilcomfycorner]

People's faces

I’ve always been curious by nature, always observing my surroundings. Whether it was something, someone, somewhere, anywhere. I used to pay attention to even the smallest of details, a detail added to a specific drawing, something different on the ground, a discreet smile line in someone’s serious face, even a little speck of dust be whistled by the wind.

One of the things that I was particularly draw to when I was younger was to observe the expressions on people’s faces while on public transportation. I would see someone staring blankly into nothingness, sometimes a tired face, a tightened face, or even a depressed look in their eyes. Just people who looked unhappy in some way or another, clearly just hoping for that horrific day to come to an end.

I would always look at those people with sadness, empathy, sometimes even pity; I would look at their exhausted faces and think to myself: “What could possibly be so terrible to the point of making someone look like this?” “Wow, they must have a pretty demanding job, I want to grow up and work with what I love doing, they look miserable”. “I don’t want to grow into a person like this”.

The years passed by, I’ve graduated school, started going to college, found someone to love and cherish, people I love spending time with, hobbies, everything was working out for me.

I couldn’t stop thinking about how amazing it would be once I was done with college and started my professional life. Just the thought of doing what I love the most, with the people I cherish, and being able to fulfill my simple dream of working quietly and diligently on the area I so much adore.

The truth is, by the passage of time, I’ve stopped noticing the people on public transportation and their expressions.

After graduating, I was jobless and without the motivation to find jobs and prospect clients, I found a job at a glamorous and important place, I thought that even though it was not on the plans, I would still be able to network and get to know interesting people along the way, besides, every experience is welcome.

The job isn’t abnormally demanding or extremely hard, it’s just a matter of spending a huge amount of time a day doing the same repetitive thing, over and over and over again, thinking to myself “C’mon, keep smiling, you have to smile so people like you and give you a job in the area you want. Just. Keep. Smiling.”  “Oh, did this person just yell at me? It’s okay, people told me it’s part of the job.” “This coworker that is not my supervisor wants to boss me around and there’s nothing I can do about it? That’s okay, I won’t stay here for long, so I can take it.” “I’m exhausted and- oh, a person, smile, smile, smile, be natural, be cool”.

Until, one day, I look at a reflection on the metro’s glass door. Just a sad, tightened, depressed looking face. My face. Mine. My eyes were lifeless, my dark circles were even deeper and darker than they have ever been, my eyebrows were tensed up, and my posture was completely closed. I couldn’t recognize myself anymore…I was exactly what I’ve been avoiding my whole life. I couldn’t scape despite all of my efforts to pursue happiness and professional fulfillment instead of money. I’ve failed.

I then proceeded to look at my face in the reflection, and started thinking to myself about what little me would think of this image before them?  Would they be disappointed? Would they try to console me?

Would they understand? Would they…forgive me?

[madfoxx]

they are doing Great

(inspired by this post from @ineffable-romantics​)

[gertruderobinsonscat]

While obviously no one is physically harming him I’m not over the fact that this literal child was thrust into the spotlight to have his worthiness questioned by the press/kingdom at large.

[spiderliliez]

What a deeply moving and beautiful scene this was! These two, again reunited, casting aside their grievances with unguarded hearts. EVERYTHING COMES FULL CIRLE. Alicent, as if reclaiming her younger self, now wishes to RUN AWAY WITH HER OLD FRIEND. She just yearns for the days when Rhaenyra would invite her to fly with her on dragonback on Syrax, to seize freedom and indulgence, to simply 'eat cake' and revel in their desires. The nostalgia is too real! The heartbreak lies in the cruel reality that they cannot have what they had wished for, together.

OH MY HEART. 😥 Emma and Olivia are absolute legends! This scene, the script, their performances. [+] EMMA [GIF Collection] ✨ [+] OLIVIA COOKE [GIF Collection] ✨ [+] ..more on “HOTD” 🎬

[finchwingart]

The way home

[bizarrelittlemew]

i was hoping to make a post like this under happier circumstances, but here goes.

as some of you know, everything with the cancellation and renewal campaign has happened right on top of the worst part of my mom's cancer treatment (plus the show was cancelled on my actual birthday 💀). i won't go into details, but it's been tough. lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, luckily ending (for now) on as much of an up as circumstances allow. the whole thing has been weirdly tied to the cancellation for me, kind of amplifying every feeling. the grief got mixed up, and there was so much of it - mourning the loss of the kind of future i thought i'd have with my mother and the time we might not get, mourning the end of a show that means so much to me and is such a big part of my life. different types of grief, sure, and of different magnitudes, but in one big ugly swirl. i sort of had a breakdown right at the start of february, and it was because of news about my mom, but it morphed into my brain telling me everything i'd ever written was shit and wanting to delete it all. stuff like that, spilling over.

anyway. i was holding off on writing this post to see if the show got picked up by someone else. but i still want to say it. because what also spilled over was the support and community from this fandom, and being in this space (despite the rough times and high emotions) helped me through it, because of all of you here. whether we talk regularly, or you left a comforting reply or simply a like on one of my posts about having a hard time (i tried to keep them few), or wrote a nice comment on a fic, or said something funny or nice or insightful in the tags of a gifset, or was active here (or on twt) in any way, talking/sharing/creating stuff about the show - THANK YOU.

you all helped me through all the ups and downs, and i am so grateful. thank you for being here, listening, distracting, helping me feel some joy despite the horrors. i love you and i love this incredible show and all it has brought and will continue to bring and inspire, and although it should go without saying, i'm not going anywhere. just do me a favor and give yourself a big ol' hug from me, and know that you made a difference for some random guy on the internet (but in reality for many more, and for this fandom as a whole, just by being here and being you) 💕

[fishareglorious]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[dykeulous]

i know it’s very depressing and essentialist and nihilistic and whatnot to say but i’m genuinely fucking losing hope for men. you literally cannot be nice to them. i’m tired of trying. like ugh it actually makes me sick. i’m TIRED of trying to explain to them that, maybe, hey. feminism is good for them, too. i go on and on about how women shouldn’t make their feminism palatable to men, how we need to stop being nice & expecting them to have a change of heart… but in reality, i do that exact same thing. you absolutely will be able to catch me trying to talk to men about feminism & trying to explain it to them, even though i should know that they understand everything & just don’t give a single fuck. i’m just so naive. it’s awful. the “good guys”, “nice guys” are literally just the portion of men who believe misogyny is an old wife’s tale & that it’s all in the past– all the while women all around the globe + women in their own lives get abused by the system of patriarchy on the regular basis. they think misogyny is no longer real because it does not affect them. “normie” men, men who do not explicitly harm women in their lives– they aren’t feminist allies. they are doing the bare fucking minimum, and just because they don’t explicitly harm women does not mean that they are any more willing to learn. you cannot rely on men. ever. you cannot nicely explain feminist theory to them. they won’t listen.

“feminism is good for men too” well guess what. maybe it shouldn’t fucking be.

[chronologically-challenged]

Mirabelle's callused hands and flat boots are everything to me.

[blorbobutworse]

Hey guys,,,,guess whos not dead?!

Teen Dad Logan :)

Or, I suppose more accurately, Young Dad Logan. And by adjacency, Uncle Dad Victor.

This turned out to be one of my largest pieces of writing ever Bee-Tee-Dubs so its going to be under this to not Kill You All:

So in this AU they meet when they're 10 and 11, Jimmy just out of foster care after they found out he's a mutant, and Vic a few weeks after murdering his Father.

At first, it's honestly Jimmy showing Victor a lot of things. Simple things, like how to forage and how to scent, but it's all...quiet. Jimmy already carries a sense of shame for his ferocity that Vic never enjoys. So he draws the kid into fights, helps him laugh until his face is red with laughter instead of shame. He learns about him, and in turn Jimmy learns about him. Happy enough kids until things turned south. One was locked up and the other ran away. They escaped and found each other. It was meant to be.

Victor gives him his new name. Jimmy hasn't felt like His in a long time and the first time Vic calls him Logan, he beams.

Vic still calls him Jimmy when he's scared, but it's their little secret.

Anyways, they stay rough and tumble until The developers in the Weapon X project find them, aged 14 and 15 respectively. It's Victor's idea that they stay. Logan, for all his desires to settle down, feels chafed by the military, but Vic sees through that, see's what they could be, in the future. See's him and his Runt living free after serving, what's a few years as lab rats if they get all their adult life? What's being looked at like a monster when he's allowed to be a monster and still get schooling? Logan doesn't think any of these things, but when Vic nods, he does too.

They're only allowed to be together for the first three months, and then their forced apart, to 'reduce codependency'. They last two years without each other, and when they're reunited...things are different.

Creed has grown into his role, with each murder proving that his dad wasn't special, he's always been meant for this, how dare Anyone Try to stop him. He's become an Animal. Sabretooth.

And Wolverine....is Wolverine now. But doesn't take long before Vic realizes somethings wrong. Wolverine glances at him, but there's no glint of recognition in his eyes. As Creed starts to question him, he thinks it's a clone. So he Kills It.

Its only the third time Logan revives and puts his claws through Creeds chest that Creed realizes it's his runt. Still, being forgotten stings, being ignored stings worse, and there's a lot more blood shed before the guards are able to separate the two.

Safe to say they butt heads a lot more. Vic goads him often, word for word the way he used to, and like a house of cards, Wolverine always folds. The only times he seems to come back to himself for a moment, are the moments after Creed's killed him, and he's just waking up. He'll get a look on his face, one Vic recognizes. He's seen it a hundred of times before, even if the runt always tried to hide it:

Fear. Exhaustion.

They never talk. Victor pets his hair as Logan's throat is rapidly sewing itself back together, or Logan rumbling under Vic's body as his puncture wounds close. In those moments, Logan Remembers.

...

It all starts to fall apart when one Logan Howlett, at the fresh age of 18, is chosen to become Weapon X.

Creed sees red. This was HIS goal, His to earn, that stupid brat doesn't even want to be here, Logan doesn't even remember why he's-

He doesn't even remember why he came here in the first place.

But Sabretooth is smart. He figures out when, and where, they're going to do the operation. And obviously, he bursts in.

As he does, he overhears a Commander noting that they should 'wipe wolverines mind clean one last time, to make sure he's only obedient to them.

And that is First Strike.

Victor lashes out, taking down a doctor and a guard before anyone can blink. But his noise distracts the surgeons and other doctors carefully monitoring The Wolverine's Adamantium intake, and one of them nudges their controls in their scramble to get away, pushing significantly more onto his skeleton than originally planned.

Victor stops when he hears screaming.

Logan hears....nothing. He knows the procedure is going to begin, but he doesn't know when. When the burning starts, he goes to that little place in his head he pretends he doesn't have. He sees flashes of Creed's face, snarling and smiling, and he feels...safe. He sees white, and red hair and...hears yelling. His eyes open, and immediately close as salt water rushes into them. He breathes unsteadily through his

The water stops draining but the burning doesn't stop. Worse, his head feels like it's being torn apart, a feeling he remembers but can't name. And suddenly, nothing matters because,

Sabretooth is calling him Jimmy and why why WHY DOES EVERYTHING HURT OW OW OW OW OW OW Victor help please please plEASE PLEASE VICTOR VIC-

...

Safe to say the adamantium causes even more psychological damage to them.

There is one single benefit: The Memory Adjustment failed. In fact, it failed so bad that Creed, for three whole days, get's Logan to himself.

They don't do much. Logan wakes up and launches himself at Vic, legs collapsing as his ligaments struggle to accustom themselves to the weight of his new bones. He's in constant pain, mostly just looking at Vic with big, sad brown eyes until he lies back down with him on the shitty Hospital ordered bed. It creaks under them, but thankfully never gives.

When they do talk, they don't talk about the memories. About Wolverine gutting Sabretooth to prove a point, about Sabretooth biting out his spinal chord, about Wolverine ripping out his teeth in claws. None of it matters. They know it can't last. Creed didn't plan, and Logan is too weak to think, not that he does much of that in the first place.

After those days of clarity post operation, Logan is wiped clean. And for the next year, it's back to normal. For Wolverine at least.

But of course, Logan has to beat him to the punch. Literally.

Around a month after the one year anniversary of his Surgery, Wolverine comes Bursting through the training rooms, with twenty guards hot on his trail. Sabretooth, a Predator, Obviously follows. Logan runs and runs and runs, and eventually rips the door of a particular room, to reveal...

an eerily large room filled with tubes. There's wires and things being suspended in liquid, and at first, Victor can't comprehend what he's looking at. By the time he reads 'X-02', Doner Wolverine, Logan's already broken three of the tubes with his claws, uncaring of the thick glass cutting him open in retribution for being shattered.

people go flying, and as they hit equipment the room itself begins to collapse, separating Sabretooth from Wolverine. Wolverine continues through the rooms, ensuring that there's nothing deeper inside that can help them make more of him. He has enough nightmares. Sabretooth stays back to help finish the job. All those tubes don't destroy themselves, you know?

He finds a room full of his samples, and a woman in a chair. A woman with a bullet in her neck instead of her head. Poor thing had probably gotten caught in between him and the guards. But why was she just sitting-

The woman has a baby in her arms, tubes still attached. He growls for a moment, moving to finishes her off, but freezes when she and she's groans.

"Laura...Laura..."

Logan looks at her little beady eyes, mousy brown hair, and knows...she's his.

Before he's even thought about it she's cradled in his arms, evidently all wrong because she starts to wail and Vic skids in, shoulder denting the doorframe as he stops and stares at the scene in front of him.

The woman gives one final shudder, and her head lulls. Dead.

Still, there's no time to think. Victor hears thuds getting closer to the room, and as he looks to his right he realizes there's only one way out. The window. Oh well.

with a swear, he lifts Logan by the back of his jacket and gives him a shove, and his back goes strait through the paneling and out of the fourth story. Victor whoops, and follows him down. By the time he's already made his much more elegant landing, Logan is groaning and cussing him out as much as his winded lungs will let him, which is a surprising amount. Still, Vic scruffs him again and sets him on his feet, and nods in the direction of the woods.

"Lets go"

And they do.

They end up being surrounded by the X-Men somewhere in Maine and are "Invited" to Stay at Xavier's school. Logan decides for them this time. A house, a promise that the government will be dealt with for them, and that he can get all of his memories back are very good motivators. And they an finish their education.

Victor actually...enjoys classes. He likes being smart, and it's easy. Logan does Charter school. He had lasted exactly a week in public education before deciding that if he had to deal with one more idiotic comment from one of those stupid fucking kids he was going to-

Well. His words were Not Child Friendly, so he made sure to cover his kid's ears. Besides, he's bonded with fellow teen Rogue and preteen Jubilee and Kitty (his daughters) like little sisters, but he never really settles unless he's with his Kid. His Laura.

He had to fight to keep her, a young unstable mutant like him was not the ideal parent, but for the first two months, she sobbed if anyone else held her, terrible screeches, and would reach for him to the point of falling out of peoples arms. And, he had imprinted on her to. He swore he could tell when she was happy or uncomfortable before she could, would burp her or flip her back onto her back before she got fed up with tummy time.

Vic is Terrified of touching her but refuses to admit it. He carefully runs his finger down her pudgy little cheek, in awe of her soft skin against his knuckle, when she moves suddenly, and she attempts to nuzzle her way into his palm. He, obligingly, opens his hand. When one of his claws scrapes her hair, he freezes, waiting for her to cry out. Instead, she burbles happily, honey brown eyes giving him long, slow blinks.

She likes his head scratches the best.

Logan sometimes falls asleep with her on his stomach on the couch, leaving Victor to carry him AND his clingy baby back to bed, the crib next to them so Laura can still grab onto Logans finger. They sleep together now, in a nest of blankets and pillows, Logans hand always off the bed but still somehow still touching Vic, as if to make sure he's still there.

Their codependency is back full swing, and the only time they can be reliably separated is when Vic goes to school, because he goes with Scotty, and the Boy Scout would never let anything happen to another mutant, even if that mutant makes him want to shoot him with his laser-beam full power just to see what would happen.

Thankfully, because of Victors presence, the Mind Adjustment does actually work, but it leaves Logan questioning his parallel memories for years. In the process they realize that...Victors memories have been tampered with too.

But that, is a story for another time.

[neopuppy]

(I Hit It Like It’s All Mine Johnny)

[thebirdandhersong]

lads it is mostly my fault (was sick, didn't tell healthcare until it was Dire, was sentenced to bed rest for the rest of my time at camp) that I literally can't say goodbye to these 100+ people I've come to love properly before I leave. I'm not permitted to participate in any singing, dancing, communal joy, any event that's remotely fun (that's nearly word for word what they said) here at camp. and I'm leaving EARLY, am still miserably sick, and have a four hour commute back home on top of that, because there's no one available to drive. literally cried my eyes out over everything just now and am This Close to crying my eyes out againnnnn

[junkartie]

Me when i laugh at an absurd news article but then remember i live under a dictatorship so nothing is funny actually

[living-a-charmed-life]

“Pretty much everything that’s worth doing is hard. And if you quit things when they get hard, you may never get to the good part.”

- Bobs Burgers

[prettybrowneyedsoul]

I asked my heart,

why I can't sleep at night?

Heart replied,

"Bcs you slept in the afternoon, don't act like you are in love"

:)

[syoddeye]

surly people with dark hair