#realistically this will not lead to anything
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After making that essay about all my gripes with act three, I wanna delve into what rubbed me the wrong way about episode seven. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is my second favorite episode of the season (right behind episode four) but everything just felt off, and now I’m able to explain why.
It felt fake. Artificial. Too good to be true. Too polished. Everyone in Zaun was basically a Piltie lite and I hated to see it. I know Zaun doesn’t even technically exist, as it never did officially get its freedom, but Piltover and Zaun are known as twin cities for a reason. They are intertwined, yes, but also completely different. Zaun has its own vibe. It’s punk, patchwork, unpolished, mismatched. But also vibrant, brilliant, thoughtfully crafted and beautiful in its own way. It’s unique. It feels so real, and for the au to strip all that away and make Zaun feel like a shell of its former self was not it.
Zaun has such a rich culture. Not without its own host of flaws ofc, but what culture is perfect? And obviously there are political reasons for why Zaunites do things the way they do (it’s because Piltover’s oppressions forces them to get creative). While I resent the reasons as to why Zaunites have to be so resourceful and creative, I adore the things they were able to build in spite of their hardships. Makes me identify with Zaun even more. The au took all that away. Everything that made Zaun what it is wasn’t there, and I didn’t care for it.
Furthermore, the whole au falls apart if you stop and think about it. Why would Vi’s death be anything more than a drop in the bucket to Piltover? They had been oppressing Zaun for centuries? Vi is not only a Zaunite, but she was also a teenager. There’s a lot to be said about how teenagers aren’t really seen as kids by a lot of folks, and are “less innocent” and their lives are seen as “less important” (though ofc no one would admit that have that kind of bias). Plus when you consider that by virtue of being a Zaunite, Vi would already be considered “less than”, her life would not matter to Piltover WHATSOEVER. Best case, and I do mean best case scenario, they give Vander some financial compensation so he could afford to give Vi the proper funeral she deserves. But I’d bet money they never would’ve even considered doing that if I’m being realistic.
Also, that’s just a horrible message to send. Vi, the parentified child, who spent her whole life fighting like hell to protect her loved ones, had to die in order for not just her family, but her city to flourish. HUH??? That’s an awful thing to imply! Vi dying would NOT have lead to everyone else being fine. It would not have led Vander and Silco to forgive each other. It would NOT led to Zaun prospering economically. It would not have led to Zaun becoming just like Piltover in the worst of ways. That doesn’t even make any sense! Correlation does not equal causation, but those two things have no correlation to begin with! Obviously I know that’s not the message the writers meant to convey, but that’s what they ended up doing imo, and I don’t like that.
Lastly, why are we acting like Hextech is the problem? The oppressive system of Piltover existed way before Hextech came along, so why would its lack of being there affect things that much? Cause if not Hextech, some other revolutionary technology would’ve been invented that somehow only benefits some and hurts everyone else who isn’t as privileged. And yes, ofc I know Hextech only exists precisely BECAUSE of the systemic inequalities between Piltover and Zaun, but it is by no means wholly responsible for these inequalities. Responsible for widening the gap between Piltover and Zaun? Yes! Responsible for the existence of the gap in the first place? Hell no! And it felt like it was framed that way.
Anyways TL;DR I wasn’t a fan of the au episode because I felt like it unintentionally sent a horrible message and didn’t stay true to what makes Zaun, Zaun. It ripped out all its best parts and functionally turned it into Piltover Jr. and a fan of that I am NOT
#arcane#arcane season two#season two episode seven#loved it!#but also have my gripes with it#arcane critical
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Changbin as husband is next I'm curious for his and hyunjinss
This is the longest fucking reading I've ever had so i just HAD to split it in 2 parts so bear with me. I love him but i hate him right now😩 (no im not)
Husband Series: Changbin pt. 1
Ugh...that guy🫠 i bet you if i let him use up my whole deck he would. The amount of "ok last card" i had to say...and yet there was still so much gushing put...and ugh, i just can't stress enough how much into details he is and how much he wants to stress on them and make sure they don't go unnoticed or get misunderstood or overlooked. Reminds me so much of my audhd friend😭. Anyways back on track - tho i don't even know where to begin from, i really think he used up half my deck. I just counted 23 cards😳 i do indeed draw a lot for the others too but thats just next level. Not on topic but i think he's a really chatty drunk😂 now i wanna read on them when drunk🙌🏻😂
Ok soooo since i have so many cards ill try to combine them as much as i can and keep the messages as concise as possible so this post doesn't become a novel - the overall energy i noticed here is not so much emphasis on him as a husband but overall him as a partner in a committed relationship. Which leads me to believe he himself doesn't view marriage with such dread as the others did (there wasn't really any dread with felix bust still a certain anxiety around responsibilities, meanwhile that with changbin is absolutely nonexistent). I would say he seems himself as capable and even ready to take on that responsibility and role if the opportunity presents itself and i think he believes he'll do a good job. He's responsible, capable and can take care of it. I actually sense a feeling of pride in him about that.
Another MAJOR theme is him being a "simp" for his partner (he insists on wife). There are many cards that im trying to sum up:
He's very protective over her and doesn't let anyone say shit about her, he's giving me guard dog vibes. Also a big bodyguardy. I can see him when being out with her eyeing people and being on alert and just idk, looking scary as to scare of any weirdos before they even think about trying something. And to clear any misunderstandings up, im really not getting this coming from jealousy (not that its not there, it is😂, but its just 10% reason, out of 100), but rather because he wants the woman he loves to feel safe and protected around him. He wants her to be able to relax and trust that he will always have her back and keep her safe. He wants her pretty little witty head not to be bothered by ANYTHING!
More from the simpy train - looks up to her a lot and kinda puts her a bit on a pedestal. This is not a very debilitating energy but feels rather like something he has made peace with and accepts - which is that she is indeed better than him and he can never be able to reach her, which means he is incredibly lucky and appreciative of the fact a woman like that has chosen him and he tries whatever he can to live up to her standard and continue to give her reasons to stay with him and continue to love him. Although she can never love him as much as he does (thats his thought🥲). But as i said this doesn't feel victimy to me at all but rather just seems realistic to him and he's a big boy and can accept reality for what it is and choose to feel lucky instead of beating himself up for not being good enough and self sabotage. Im actually really shocked looking at his energy because i can really feel the strength of his mind and ughh just how innovative and flexible he is. His will is just astounding and making me really happy, despite him obviously having some issues he doesn't let himself be defined by it and chooses to spin them to him favor. What an amazing guy💗
Back to the reading - so he spends a lot of time in his head, doing A LOT of 2 things. One is being thinking of his girl and what he can do to make her happy, analyzing previous conversations to see if he missed something or if he has remembered everything. Contemplating if she maybe gave him a hint about something, or if she maybe looked hesitant with something. Maybe her body language was off? He notes that. If there was any difference in her behaviour today, if she looked different. He's really putting LOTS of energy thinking about her and analyzing her and her behaviour. Again this doesn't seem to come from distrust (although he thinks of that as well, its just not his motivator, he just considers everything, thats why) but rather for his own feeling of safety. I think he is a very thoughtful and analyzing and sensitive person in nature so this may be something he always does, except when its something very important to him, and a relationship at that - he does it even more intensely. He doesn't only think about and analyze her tho. He does that to him too, to their relationship as well. He just wants to have a good understanding and overview of everything that is happening in the relationship so he has a sense of control and safety. You can always fix something if you know its broken. Or beginning to bend. You can fix the problem before the branch brakes i think is what he wants to say. And he wants things to run as smoothly as possible with them, and once again he has taken on the responsibility to make his girls life as easy and carefree as possible and how can that happen if he leaves the whole relationship in her hands?! He can't, so he doesn't his part very diligently and tries to keep up on the same level as her, emotional-intelligence-wise.
He also doesn't to just thinking but planing & organizing. So i think he takes lots of care for other stuff too like planing and booking fun dates. If he cant attend then books fun stuff for her. Provide her with the needed tools/means for her to be able to create, to indulge in her hobbies. He really loves that feminine creator energy and really wants to do his best to encourage and provide an encouraging environment for his wife to get in her feminine creator energy and bring him joy with it. Also thats really random but he's always ready and loves giving her massages😂💗(after her long day of crafting). He just loves hearing about it, seeing the excitement in her voice and face. It charges him.
He also spends lots of time fantasizing about her. Reminiscing wonderful dates, imagining potential future ones, creating scenarios etc. He's just A LOT in his head, his mind is really really active, and its very occupied with his love. Also another random message, commitment and love are tied with him somehow. Im seeing he cant commit if he doesn't love but he also cant love if he can't commit. So i would say he's very extreme-y. Like he's either all in or all out. No middle ground. What i mean is he HAS to be this intense in a relationship because for him thats commitment, THATS expressing love. And if he's not able to do that, then his love and interest and enthusiasm begin to fade away. He HAS to be able to be like that in a relationship and i think often he has been labeled (or was) just WAYYY TOO MUCH for the girls he has been in a relationship with. Im seeing he can get very overwhelming and overbearing if the person he's with just isn't the person to enjoy that kind of commitment and effort. But to go back to the cards, he also fantasizes about physical stuff too, for example he's riding in the car, and for the whole ride he's imagining and giggling and wiggling his feet and twirling his hairs because he plays over and over how that one time while they were still just dating she looked him in the eyes with that wet sexy look, and how his whole body got shivers and his stomach dropped and his heart skipped and his palms got sweaty and he swears some saliva started dripping out the corner of his mouth and his knees got weak and he almost felt like he was gonna black out and by the time he came back to his senses she was already sooo close to his lips and them BAM. Fireworks everywhere. He can never forget how that wonderful kiss felt and how sweet the sexual tension and anticipation before it was. He plays stuff like that OVER AND OVER again the whole damn day.
While being on physical stuff, he is pretty horny ill say. But not in a bunny way,m where he wants to fuck 5 times a day, but rather when around his girl he's always half way up, always ready to rise for the occasion iykwim. I think he gets *excited*👀 very easily and is just really weak when it comes to his girl. He's always ready to deliver whenever she ask, whatever she asks. Als im seeing once again he's a giver (and despite him loving head so much) he's focused on her pleasure and he can off just from watching her enjoy...whatever it is. So yeah thats that😂
Bro im so tired im thinking about doing this in 2 parts😭 im just halfway. Ok yk what im splitting it.
#skz#stray kids#kpop#tarot reading#asks#seo changbin#future spouse#skz tarot#stray kids tarot#kpop tarot#changbin tarot#skz imagines#reaction#skz scenarios#headcanons#stay#skz stay
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this is a long shot, but if you were a lesbian in red flannel at the marianas trench show in silver spring, dm me! we met in the parking garage and chatted about stuff as we walked over together with my sibling and your girlfriend(?), and I noticed you two are in the background of some of my concert vids! and I could send those to you! but I couldn't find you after the show to let you know
#marianas trench#using my powers for good xD#realistically this will not lead to anything#but still. just in case!
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illario as the grandchild that is most like caterina is something i'm loving to chew on. the grandson that took her lessons to heart the most. kill anyone who sees your face and knows your name, "we are not revolutionaries", the first out of the two to prioritise the contract. power at any cost, and the only one to lean into the unnecessary abuse that their grandmother told them was tradition. why is anyone surprised he allied with the venatori? and then there's illario's considerable skill in infiltration and manipulating any mark, he has always had the charisma that lucanis lacked. illario isn't attached, he has/can/will use someone and immediately drop them; "that does free me from promises i don't intend to keep". he can lie about how much he cares so well that he fools a magister into believing he loves her. he kills zara without hesitation to cover his own tracks, meanwhile lucanis blindly promises a young girl in the middle of a siege that he will help her find her father. even the lessons about family stick with him, and in this entire messy power struggle, he never actually orders anyone to directly kill caterina or lucanis, not until he's backed into a corner.
and even after all that. despite even lucanis believing illario should be first talon, lucanis is still the better killer. illario is not strong enough to be the brutal assassin caterina needs him to be. so when lucanis seems to fill the role his mother left, grief and love for her dead heir apparent remains, and any of the other qualities caterina needs in her next talon doesn't matter. whatever his mother was, lucanis has to be. what illario does doesn't matter, because he will always be second best to caterina's memory of her favored daughter.
#<- guy who's only seen succession: this is just like shiv and logan#last point is kind of meta and hcish. idk how much caterina cared about her children and lucanis' mother. grain of salt everyone#but it would make sense to me. woman projecting her grief so hard it fucks up the next generation#at the end of the day realistically the best person to lead this criminal organisation is the sweet talker with no morals#who can rally their assassins and negotiate his way out of anything#not lucanis 'this crow has a heart' dellamorte. who i think would also be a fairer leader but#well. his leadership style would take a decidedly different turn. is that something he can afford as first talon??? like you know.#THE ASSASSIN GUILD? WITH THE VERY BLEAK HISTORY? 'WE'RE NOT HEROES ANYWHERE COUSIN' ?????#LED BY LUCANIS 'would rather endanger the mission than kill innocents' DELLAMORTE !!!!?#i would be less weird about it if the game acknowledged he's a 'kind' crow more explicitly and like#how this would change the crows. but realistically. and biasedly. i think illario makes a better (more morally grey too) talon#and also zevran should be here#anyways. im normal.#illario dellamorte#caterina dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers#dav#edit: NOTE I AM SAYING ILLARIO MAKES. A BETTER TALON AND NOT A GOOD ONE#his number one dickriding glazer but i would not go that far. sorry babe.
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One of my mutuals opinions is the "bro code" thing, that Curly is one of those guys who wouldn't care about the victim because the perpetrator is his friend and I'm really banging my head on the wall like that other anon. I've only played through the game once but Curly's behaviour/reactions etc read completely different from the "bro code" thing and I have to wonder if my mutual and I even played the same game.. like the constant digs at him from Jimmy, his body language in his face reveal and so on like you mentioned in your post. While this game is a little different obviously, it kind of reminded of a point in Alice Madness Returns that makes it very clear that Alice's pain blinded her to the abuse of the other children and her failure to act earlier because of it. Curly is guilty of a similar inaction but it doesn't change the fact he was a victim of Jimmy too. I don't think I can look at it any other way because both of these games have really stuck with me.
I genuinely think it really is the idea that people want a simple easy to blame problem and the idea that the only relatable victims of abuse are those that "surpass" it or do a lot to help others. When it comes to victims, especially those that don't fit the typical demographics, who either accidently perpetuate it, enable it or aren't ideal in some way shape or form, people jump to ignore what they went through as it's easier than dealing with those conflicting sentiments.
The bro-code conversation in Mouthwashing stems from a concept I generally dislike that there had to be something about Curly that made him meet or keep being friends with someone like Jimmy. I think people genuinely underestimate how many like decent and good people just know an asshole or are friends with someone who is really bad outside of their view/established dynamics. The game makes it clear none of the inaction against Jimmy is because of a lack of care, it is a lack of understanding from the privaleged postions they have as men to not have to worry about what Anya does/went through and the type of extremes men like Jimmy will go through to cover it up. They are all too preoccupied in their own strifes.
Another thing I see being oversaturated the idea that you have to be a freak, misanthrope or have a disorder to do the thing Jimmy does. The game is an escalation, it's a spiral that I don't see people comment on that Jimmy was not likely having the mood swings and episodes of rage/frustration we were seeing in the game. This is after they all start experiencing the worst moments in their lives that he got THAT openly bad. Of course, this is just my interpretation but much like in real life, people that go to extremes like that usually live mundane lives. It's a pressure cooker affect to where the stress made them pop. It's self inflicted but still the case.
I really think people need to be more willing to acknowledge that not everything needs to be an extreme or in black and white or easy to understand. It doesn't need to be happy or have an answer or solution, especially in the cases where the abused sadly helps perpetuate what they experience. It's not he should've known better from experience or shouldn't he have known what could've happened because victims tend to not like to think in matters of the worst. Not to mention, especially in cases of abuse where it feels so personally directed that you don't expect to happen to someone else.
#i also hear the bro code thing in tandem with his comments on saying he knows Jimmy but that is also in a much different context than#if he said it when Anya was actively telling him about the dead pixel or the pregnancy or even when she told jimmy that was about himself#and getting between Anya and Jimmy as in he knows Jimmy and knows he wont try anything when hes around not that he doesnt think hes#doing anything or doesn't believe Anya and Im a bit annoyed people shorthand or try to recontextualize the statements he makes about it#cause even the let me talk to him line is more in concern of what Jimmy could be doing and less wanting to make sure hes okay and#being more worried about his friend than Anya in that moment like removing the context makes the sentiments sound more uncaring#and typically but the context is how they are deconstructed to give the story and themes a deeper nuance because Anya is happy that Curly#says that becuase he leads it under the idea of protecting her as he knows and she has likely seen/experienced it enough that Jimmy#back down/off around Curly typically as we see he does relatively subdue Jimmy's attitude before the eval and it only gets bad once the#scene at the birthday party happens when Jimmy is likely in a mode where hes not going to listen to Curly about anything after cause he fee#personally betrayed in a selfish egotistical way like the game is a deconstruction nothing is supposed to a typical one to one on the#concepts it handles. this also ties to me like getting more and more annoyed everytime is see a post making Curly the most milktoast#no opinions ever sort of guy when he does have a personality outside of enabling Jimmy and has opinions on things like the QnA's#talking about him being snow Tony Hawk flesh him out more realistically than think pieces saying he has no opinions on anything#and would never take stances like this is a immediate dire circumstance with multiple facets I dont think hed hesitate to help if he active#saw like someone getting attacked on the street or that hes a centrist that doesnt care about womans issues like this is the equivalent#of when a character gets dumbed down to their like favorite food and one defining aspect of themselves and even then I feel like everyone#else but the mouthwashing fandom has a better grasp of that aspect before they make it unrecognizable.#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#ask#anon
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dear season
#dear season#dear#wait why are ppl reblogging this djfhsjfg#i just wanted to post this over here for myself#its a good metaphor for the internal struggle of a monster hunter in love with a werewolf!!!!#there are two wolves (aggression and fear)#but its not enough to control the deer (nonviolent feelings like empathy and guilt)#those aren’t inherently bad or anything but in excess will lead to harm#combine that with the external pressure to please the ranchers#they want the deer *and* the wolves gone ideally#even though thats more unnatural than anything else and just not realistic#its a good metaphor!!!! to meeeeeee!!#i didnt even tag this as anything#literally just my oc tags
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might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.
any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc
#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by)#though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments#talkys#inspired by recent me and friend events#and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me.#and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect#but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person#and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes#its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio#but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being#ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly''#or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real !#just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em#long post#delete later#sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late#but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different#people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people#this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the#time. you can change yourself at any time.#ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling#part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info#like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life#but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em#some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things#and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^
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I think the idea of Leo seeing rytlock's pupils dialate when he looked at him would drive him crazy, anything to make worlds most reluctant piner insane
#i gotta draw this...#but also this idea is sooooo cute 2 me#theres so much rytleo lore like Leo mightve found him physically attractive from the start but rytlock falls for leo first unexpectedly#and theres a lot of things revolving Rytlock being both bad at communication but also having a inherent small fear of fucking things up#after he fucked up all his other important relationships while also having priorities that exist outside his personal wqnts#“why is leo reluctant” bc he knows the culture he was born in hes not a stranger to one night stands but the idea of like#hoping for a long term relationship (leo wants so badly to be part of a world where this is a norm for his society) is realistically going#to end with him getting hurt bc thats not something that usually happens so he makes it a point to avoid anything that could lead to it#oh god im rambling in the tags thats enough of that
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why are we going into korok forest with vah medoh.
#I UNDERSTAND THE MONSTERS. BUT IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY#also more revali content!! wahoo!!#its like. ok i didnt hear the voice acting so based on his tone i cant say anything#but what he does say? mostly????? rightish??#truly why Is link leading this. hes still just some knight#sure hes skilled but youd think itd be zelda or impa#also why does link follow the princess. he has the generic knight armour rather than royal guard#the before starting screen says that link never leaves the princesss side which. firstly ew. secondly Why and How#i truly dont think he realistically has the rank to kind of just. stick around#honestly revali seems. kind of in character so far#though he would Not say that last line i feel like. that was unnecesary especially for his character
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my "cat knocking glass off the table" instincts so strong every time i see someone ask "is it Bad if i like this show?" "is it Bad if i watch this movie?" i just want to say "Yes. youre irredeemable forever. and you know that's binding because a stranger on the internet said it!"
#myaa#please learn the lesson that this is such an unproductive and useless way to approach anything#literally any time someone asks these kinds of leading 'i want reassurance' questions#i just sooo bad want to say 'what if the answer was the fucked up option. what if i DID hate you for liking ten of my posts in a row.'#'what would you do?'#unfortunately people asking these things are often in a very precarious emotional state so it's not a GREAT idea to do this#but i want to. so bad i want to.#'no stupid questions' but there might be useless ones. you know the answer to this already--why treat this anxiety as realistic?
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I got to the Rex/Julia part of the storyline and it kills me everytime.
#weird and striking to come to it last#out of everything in the story#it’s so truthfully …. awful#and all the realistic steps that she takes that lands her in such an awful situation#kind of interesting (to me) how part of what leads her into all this misery is her determination to BE married#like. that’s her goal#not her wish or her hope but her GOAL#something she’s determined to make happen#and that can be your goal but the odds of it leading you to making a happy choice#……. are infinitesimal#and if it HAD to be her goal adhering to the guiderails of religion would have saved her from a lot#because it at least would have given her choices a consistency to them and protected her from the hurt she brings on herself#even before the marriage#like. you don’t have anything to do with a man like Rex. you protect yourself from him. you do not give him access to you#because if you try to take a hold of him he will bludgeon you to death without meaning to#but she’s just stumbling in the dark and trying to make it work#and it’s just all so awful#sorry just rambling#brideshead revisited
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re: that poll i rb'd earlier. i've only ever been in one relationship which really just fizzled out but in hindsight i think that her just fully vanishing for a couple of months without any contact while i saw her constantly upload photos of her new college life with new friends in social media every day Really hurt me, and having to pretend that it didn't and that i could just shrug that off and tell her that it was okay was the thing that definitely killed that feeling in me
#and also in hindsight. i'll never know if she actually did care or if she was just trying to hide for whatever reason#but i think that looking back. we were both teenagers desperate for someone's kindness#which is ultimately a bad loop to find yourself in. because it leads to both of you just bottling things up instead of being real#or just playing A Role which is draining#and as a result now i don't even know the way that she felt either.#so while i considered that to be entirely my fault and kicked myself down for somehow losing that feeling that was once there#thinking about it now. realistically. it happened because of a number of reasons and not limited to her also being at fault on some level#because we were both young and dumb ultimately.#needless to say i ended up running away from her and feeling awful about it for years ✌️ my signature move#but thinking about it now. it was probably ok and not something i should hate myself for.#a learning experience if anything.#but it is kind of funny how like. i would have been completely justified in feeling hurt by her#and i just Did Not Think I Was Allowed To so little old desperate me just took it and pretended everything was good :)#because not doing so would have made me a bad person#and then i still saw myself as a bad person lmao.
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because of my stupid ocd Thing I've been drinking exclusively bottled water (beyond coffee + juice) for like, two months now and I got really low last week and have been very carefully rationing my water since- picked up a 4 liter jug today and I chugged like, two cups of water in one breath and I haven't felt sated like that in a w h i l e
#head in my hands. I fucking hate ocd and I hate how EXPENSIVE it can be#because if I didnt have bottled water I would just straight up not drink anything beyond coffee and juice#its. ughhhhhhh!!!!!!!#I want this to stop! I want this particular Obsession to just fucking go away forever#but it's so hard to tell if I'm being irrational or not because like.#the tap water is. realistically speaking. coming out of pipes older than the fucking titanic#and the build up of pipe scum alone makes me feel nauseous to think about. let alone the likelihood of lead in the pipes#and if the water from the brita jug tastes like mold and bottled water doesnt there's a damn good chance#that there actually is mold in there#but I no longer trust the jug itself#so it's gonna have to be replaced and those are expensive!!!!
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Now that I'm taking part in an actual organised boycott, I'm even more frustrated with those 'campaigns' that are just like 'to boycott this thing just stop buying it and idk maybe fill in this form or something'.
#the bds campaign for example is full of giant companies with a million subsidaries...it's basically a boycott of capitalism itself#as i have said before. And you know wouldn't that be great? but realistically it won't work#it seems to exist to a lot of people as a kind of way of judging others if you see them using certain shops or something#that's not helping#there has to be better ways of putting pressure on Israel than individual consumer choices regarding some of the biggest brands#in the world. I wish at least one act had loudly boycotted Eurovision. Or a whole country even better. :/#fyi not buying from certain brands because of your values is great! Everyone live their values!#it's just in these cases judging others for not doing the specific thing you are will inevitably lead to#the fact that you still are forced by capitalism to buy things made in unethical ways in all facets of life#purity isn't possible and if you worry about it all the time you will never do anything else
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having brothers is nice, man ngl + also since i’m the youngest sibling i always get so spoiled by them it’s insane
#but yeah <3 not a very common thing for me to post abt but i love my kuya’s!!!#the thing i like the most abt them is that they’re rlly good company :’) not just 2 have a good time but lead me in the right path in life 2#they r very optimistic too and i like surrounding myself w those kinds of ppl#the kinds of ppl that see the pros in anything but realistic enough to notice the cons and find a way to solve it TT#AAAAUGSHASU I ASPIRE TO BE LIKE THEM SO BADD#they’re annoying tho 🙄 that’s enough kind words for them from me today 🙄 HDJSBXI
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"Carlos, if you could just pause your experiment for a second--if you could only hear me out, hear my hypothesis! I think once you understand the science of the situation, you--" Carlos opened the door. He was crying. She had never seen him cry. He was overwhelmed and unsure of how to express his emotions, since he usually only did so in carefully worded sentences, not with water from his body. "The science of the situation?" he snarled. "That Otherworld. I was trapped there, Nilanjana. I couldn't see Cecil for ten lonely years. I was kept away from the people I love, in that desolate place where you never get hungry and you never have to drink water and so you never live. It is a place that devours. It is a place that is empty. That is the science of the situation, and I study it so I can fix it. Only I can do that. Only these experiments can do that. I'm sorry, Nilanjana; I'm not going to stop so you can tell me what science is."
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#Tyto listens to WtNV#spoiler warning I guess for a book that came out a few years ago now#anyway yeah hi I finished the book#the resolutions to the plot and to Nils' character arc were pretty good. nothing to write home about but fun and serviceable#I personally get annoyed whenever a story pulls a ''you thought this romance would end with these two TOGETHER? lol NOPE''#like we get it it's more realistic for whirlwind romances to end in a breakup and sometimes it's better for people to just stay friends#but firstly this isn't real life; it's fiction. with narrative devices and such.#and secondly WtNV of all media does NOT get to preach about realistic relationship trajectories when its lead fell in love at first sight#lmao I'm just saying. I'm not MAD about it or anything it just made me roll my eyes.#ANYWAY. that aside: it was good. and I do genuinely like the friendship Nilanjana builds up with Darrell at the end#but obviously the real star of the show was Carlos and the completely unprecedented character depth that they smothered him in.#not ONLY recontextualizing over a year's worth of the podcast but ALSO saddling him with LAYERS of guilt over the events in this book#he *KILLED* the *GODDAMN* *CENTIPEDE*#after his beautiful little speech about not killing things just because we don't understand them!#he was just SO traumatized by his time in the Otherworld and SO afraid for his family after Janice nearly got Got that he KILLED IT!!!#and THEN!!!! not only do they find out that the centipede wasn't responsible for the destruction!!#but it turns out it was HIS OWN MACHINE THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#his attempts to keep everyone safe were what actually caused the danger!!!! AUGH HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP#HE'S JUST SCARED AND HE WANTS EVERYONE TO BE SAFE AND NOT EXPERIENCE THE SAME HORRORS HE DID AUGHDUSHGHDH#...anyway yeah back to my regularly scheduled episode listening tomorrow
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