#realised that I still gotta make another form!

[lifenconcepts]

HEY, Angel !!

Would you care as to describe your experience? I think not enough hear on just how varied and interesting we are, and it would be great to scroll through reblogs of a single post and be able to find those with similar experiences/feelings.

feel free to write whatever but if you would like some prompts:

Have you noticed the world seem more beautiful/peaceful since you’ve found yourself?

How do you feel about gender? Or having a name? Or attraction as a whole? Is it tied to more mortal instincts, or do you still have some essence of it?

How do you feel like you physically look? Do you have any preferences in form? Would you change the way you are perceived if you could - and into what?

How does your day get affected due to your mystical self?

Do you incorporate this sense of self in your hobbies / behaviours?

What does being an Angel or being of divine/holy nature mean to you? Do you consider yourself born here, a newly created angel, or one which has been around for a long time? Do you have any thoughts as to why you were assigned human at birth?

How much sense of “human”ness do you feel, and do you see yourself as equal to humans, something more, or like a watcher of life around you?

Do you feel like you have some higher purpose and reasoning of being here? A meaning of life, if you will call it that.

Do you have any religious connotations tied to your identity?

How did you come to realise who you were, and what signs did you exhibit prior to knowing this?

Do you have any other ‘uncommon’ bits of self apart from being a being of light, in a way? (Therian, otherkin, interests in specific things, neurodivergencies?) YOU DONT HAVE TO ANSWER THIS IF YOU DONT WANT TO!!

What’s your favourite thing about the bodily experience of being on earth? Is there any sensation you really like? (Taste, smell, touch, feeling, etc)

Would you prefer to be in another dimension? Do your senses feel dulled?

What’s your stance on mortality and topics tied to that? Do you believe in reincarnation/past lives/fate/destiny/divine intervention/guardian angels/ghosts/heaven & hell/god/meaning of life?

Would you enjoy if others treated you as some highly being and brought you offerings/treated you like a god/submit to you/worked for you?

What’s your stance on the community?

How do you interpret existence - how does it all seem to feel and what do you take away from it, like.. what do you live for? Do you have a sense of some ideal where the more you experience the higher you will achieve? Do you crave something out of life?

Do you have a ‘gut instinct/feeling’ and has it ever been scarily accurate to the point there could be no other possible explanation other than something holy?

Do you believe you are blessed and/or protected by some invisible force?

Where do you believe angels also show themselves? Are they in those stray rays of light of headlights, do they exist in the bite marks of a wounded animal’s form, is it within the ripples of the water, in the breath of the tree that takes in the wine, in the chill upon a high mountain - or is divinity everywhere?

Do you fear people don’t understand you well enough? Don’t understand us? Have you ever felt like doing something about it?

do you feel bored from these questions already - did you enjoy it- would you like more? Did I give you satisfaction? I find joy through writing, it makes me personally feel incredibly divine, and there’s a calling to know more about other individuals in this mystical and extensive world.. we need to stick together - as a whole. Love eachother. Treat yourselves well, too. Do more of what makes you feel fulfilled and happy. There’s so much complexities to life, but we just gotta handle it all with our own minds - but treat your heart and soul with so much kindness and care.. please- take care of yourself. Find whatever works for you and live forever, my friend. My eternal, immortal friend..

[salparadiselost]

Look y'all I'm trying to write, but running a zine is a lot of work.

[aomiiine]

G-A-N-G BABY, LET ME B-A-N-G BABY

ᥫ᭡. gang boy fucking his gang baby ft. yakuza!sukuna + fem!reader

ʬʬʬʬARNINGS -> just a short drabble. sukuna: true form, backshots, slight choking, dirty talk, evident degradation, just a hint of objectification. wc. 500

“Aren’t you just the most adorable, pathetic, thing in the world, aren’t you?” The burly man exhaled the cruelest laugh to your ringing ears, not soothing the pounding in your head and sting on your inflamed ass. Everything fell in your right ear and out the left, unable to comprehend a thing when all that occupied your mind was his rough thrusts. It was like he wanted to rip the humanity out of you and leave your body lingering for him to use as a cocksleeve.

But he wouldn’t really do that. He loved you. Maybe.

Calloused pair of hands held you firmly in place on his desk, hips adjusted to match the position of Sukuna’s hips. All the while you were blabbering on his oakwood table, eyes rolling back, Sukuna had one of the other pair of his hands tucked snugly between your legs, index finger of one hand rubbing the pulsing bundle of nerves in tight circles, quickening and slowing torturously between slams of his cock into your full cunt.

“Toes curling and quivering with your pussy sucking my cock in tight like a vice.. Should I coax your filthy pussy to cum? Or are you trained enough of a slut to do that on your own?” His voice grew gruffer with each word, free hand moving up your spine until his fingers curved around your nape, thick fingers burying themselves in a firm grip on your neck. With controlled yet undeniably brute force, he pulled your body back by your throat alone, making you fuck yourself back onto his cock, filling the dimly lit office with further obscene noises of wet flesh slapping against one another.

Once again your moans were drawn out like an instrument, his fingers plucking the strings so effortlessly. Your hands were sprawled on the hard surface of the desk, unable to find purchase to ground yourself on as the muscular man behind you plowed into your tight channel with abandon, chasing his orgasm that inevitably lead to your own. And with a few desperate groans and deep thrusts later, he did.

“Here’s my load, baby, yeah? Gotta tighten up that pussy of yours so not a single drop’s wasted, pretty girl. She can do that, can’t she?” He grunted between scoffs, referring to your cunt shamelessly with the corner of his lips curling to a smirk of utter pleasure, pupils blown wide with his lower lip red from being bitten on when the first spurts of his semen pumped out. He could feel it, your pussy responding to his words without hesitation. Your walls fluttered around his dick and that was enough to send shocks down his spine, earning few more leaks of cum to spill into you.

Your entire body shivered, breath heavy and ragged from exertion and satisfaction. Even as you tried to regain composure, not a single limb in your body would move. Not when he was still buried so deep inside you, basking in the weak squirts your pussy offered, something you did without even realising it. With mustered effort, you tried raising your head in hopes of lifting your body off the table. But his hand on your nape reminded you of its presence.

“Now where the fuck do you think you’re going? I’m not done with you yet.”

[everythingspokenfor]

All characters are aged up 18+. MDNI.

You know this prank could potentially get your ass whooped, but you are willing to try it. You and Bakugou had been in a bit of friends with benefits situation, close friends turned into sometimes more, not quite lovers yet.

Bakugou did try tho, asked you out multiple times, reasoned that you live together anyways, sleep together anyways, but you were adamant, the idea of fucking up a good friendships if the relationship didn't work out prevented you from saying yes to him.

Although, as time goes on you sort of realise, that your friendship won't really be affected at all, he was too good. Any mess ups will be dealt with together. You figured he was the one for you long ago, and getting together was inevitable.

That didn't stop you from being a menace tho.

"We can't continue this anymore, I found someone," You spoke a little too casually, before continuing to steal carrots from the counter and eating away. As you reached to grab another one, Bakugou's hands came to hold your shoulders before slipping around your throat, fingers tightening as you tried to pull back.

"'nother word about 'someone else', and you'll never be able to 'find' 'im again."

Shivers ran down your spine, you looked at him to if he was joking, only to see complete seriousness in his eyes. He backed away slowly, picking up a small peice of carrot and bringing it up to your lips, slowly nudging it inside.

"Chew up, baby, don't want ya' to choke," he grunts out, tone no longer as threatening,"now, be good." He snorts at the slight dilation of your pupils, patting you cheek, with a slightly harsh hand, getting back to making dinner.

"Heroes aren't supposed to kill, Suki." You voice meek, but you still torment him further, not a single chill bone in you. He turns to look at you, eyes sharp as you bat yours at him, lips pouty, you are testing his patience, he knows that much too.

He lets out a sigh, too sick at the idea of you even thinking about someone else, it's a joke, he knows, but that doesn't make it any better.

"I will tho." He struts towards you, standing between your legs, hands coming to cup your face, "get this through your skull, Shitty woman, for me it's you, only you, anything, anyone that comes in between, I'll deal with it." He whispers, face close enough his minty breath fans your face. Fingers squeezing your cheeks, forcing you to keep your eyes locked at him.

The threat should scare anyone that is sane, but maybe you are just as twisted as him, maybe that's why your pussy slicks up at his words. Hips subtly grinding the table, you hope he doesn't notice it, he does tho.

"Think I didn't notice that, if ya' wanted my dick, should've asked," he kisses your jaws, sucking at your earlobe, "always gotta be a menace." He pulls away, staring at your debauched state, chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath, legs wide open, dark spot forming at the center of your underwear, if he looked closely he could see your hard little pearl pulsing.

"Dinner first, Shitty woman, then I'll decide whether ya' get dessert or not."

[sansaorgana]

— CHRYSALIS (I)

PART TWO

PAIRING — Sauron x fem!half-Vala/half-Elf!Reader (Morgoth's Daughter)

SUMMARY — She is no Vala, no Maia and no Elf. Whatever she is remains the most exceptional and undeniably powerful. Morgoth's daughter can either heal Middle-earth or destroy it. Mairon makes a promise to her mother – the one he had once kidnapped for his master – that he would take care of this extraordinary creature but it is no easy task.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — It is a bit of a crazy idea, gotta admit, and I probably fucked with canon waaaay too much but bear with me, please! 🤣 I came up with this idea after reading on the Wiki that Morgoth was bound to his physical form, so I assumed he could actually have a child? 🤔 Anyway, in the beginning of this story you get the backstory of Reader's mother and Morgoth. Reader's mother was given a name (Tasarë, which is supposed to mean willow) but her physical appearance is not described (nor is Reader's). That backstory of Tasarë and Morgoth was my idea for another Sauron x Reader fanfic but I couldn't figure out how they could possibly end up together after she develops Stockholm's Syndrome for Morgoth, so I just used the idea in this fic as a backstory of Reader's mother. I also chose this title for the fic because butterflies appear quite a lot in this fanfic and I think the Reader is a bit like a chrysalis as well – nobody knows what will become of her.

WARNINGS — kidnapping, forced marriage, Stockholm's Syndrome (Reader's mother), abusive relationships (Reader's mother with Morgoth AND Reader with Sauron), manipulation, First Age Sauron being his loser self but still trying to get his way as usual, the Reader being half light/half darkness, which results in her acting unhinged at times (she mostly speaks in a dramatic manner lmao)

WORD COUNT — 6,400

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

CHRYSALIS (I)

Tasarë was her name – young Elven girl Mairon saw through the trees in his wolf form. His yellow eyes of the beast were following the way she danced around the fire with her friends, her long hair waving in the wind and her laughter travelling through the cold air of the night.

Perhaps none of this story would happen if she hadn’t looked back, sensing his presence. He could sense from afar the shiver that went down her spine after spotting him and their eyes met – hers filling with fear after realising she had been observed by a werewolf.

Startled by her sensing his presence, Mairon ran away from there to meet with his master who impatiently awaited his report. As usual, Melkor wanted to make sure Mairon was not lying about anything, therefore he allowed himself to sneak into his servant’s mind. And amongst his memories of the battles and schemes, he found the one about the young Elven maiden Tasarë and Mairon’s fascination with her.

“You will bring her to me,” Melkor ordered. “And she will be untouched and unspoiled when she arrives here.”

Mairon nodded. He could not refuse, could he? And he could never defile what belonged to his master, so he obeyed the order completely.

He kidnapped Tasarë away from her village and her pure heart treated him with nothing but kindness throughout their whole journey. She begged him often to let her go and if it depended on him only – he would. He would, in a heartbeat.

Or perhaps he would not. Perhaps he would keep her for himself.

But he knew that he was taking her to her demise. What would Melkor do to her? Each time she smiled at Mairon while bathing in the moonlight, radiating pure beauty and light, he wondered about the pain that awaited her and his heart ached for her.

“When we arrive there, what will happen to me?” She asked once as if she had already accepted the fact she was kidnapped but the details had been kept from her until now.

“You will become a bride,” Mairon informed her and a hint of smile showed on her face, which surprised him.

“Yours?” She inquired. Perhaps such a thought was not as dreadful to her as he would expect – after all the weeks they had spent together, he became the devil she knew, after all.

“My master’s,” Mairon answered and her smile disappeared as her body froze.

“Your master?” Tasarë raised an eyebrow.

“I cannot tell you his name,” Mairon shook his head and she looked up at the night sky with tears filling her eyes.

“Do not then. I believe I know already,” she whispered.

When Mairon brought her to Melkor’s fortress, it was the last time he saw her. The Dark Lord sent him away right after as if he was afraid of the bond forged between Tasarë and his servant.

And when Mairon was back from his mission, Tasarë was not in the fortress anymore. From Melkor’s other servants, Mairon found out that his master sent her away to one of the most secluded castles up in the coldest and loneliest realms of the North. Where she was hidden from everyone and everything and where Melkor could visit her whenever he wanted to. His little bride no one else could even lay their eyes on.

“How can she endure that?” Mairon whispered but the answer he received was even sadder than whatever he had been expecting instead.

“She grew to love him. She had no other choice.”

Many long years had passed since that time and Mairon never expected to see Tasarë again but Melkor sent him – his most loyal servant – to his most secluded and hidden fortress to carry a very important message to his lover. Mairon was supposed to be a messenger and he tried his best not to show his enthusiasm too much because it could worry and alarm his master.

It was not pure joy or excitement, however, no. It was also a curiosity with a bit of anxiety at the thought of what could be left of Tasarë after all the centuries of being Melkor’s bride.

The journey was long and boring – there was nothing around but vast land of white snow and dried out trees. The place where she was being kept was the most secluded and the loneliest he could imagine. He wondered if it was still in the same dimension because the longer he travelled, the more he felt as if he was crossing a bridge from one world to another.

He spotted the castle first – enormous and black with tall towers shaped as if they were spikes. It contrasted with the white land of endless snow although the weather was dark and gloomy. Days were short here if they existed at all.

As he travelled through the snow, nearly effortlessly due to the fact he was a Maia, therefore the cold was not his enemy, he spotted something that made him furrow his brows – footsteps on the snow.

They belonged to a person – a female, he assumed, judging by the size. Was it possible that Tasarë was not as obedient to Melkor as her lover had been suspecting? After all, she was not supposed to ever leave the castle’s walls.

Mairon followed the traces with his heart pounding in his chest, awaiting to see her again but then he froze at the sight of a young woman sitting on the snow nearby one of the castle’s back doors, under a leafless tree with ice-decorated branches.

The young woman was certainly not Tasarë although she resembled her a little. Her ears were pointed but Mairon could feel even from afar that she was no ordinary Elf. She was a creature much more powerful and when he squinted his eyes, he noticed that flowers were growing under her hands and butterflies were flying around her as she laughed. She could not only bend the world to her liking but she could also create new life. She was no goddess, though, of that he was sure.

She was no Elf, no Maia, no Vala. What was she, he wondered…?

When she turned around for a moment while looking at the butterflies, his heart froze in his chest. Her face was… terrifying.

It was undeniably beautiful but gruesome at the same time. Whoever would stare at her for too long, could risk being turned into a stone. There was only one as godly beautiful as scary to the point of no one being able to look at his face for too long and Melkor was his name.

“Who are you? Why are you hiding there?” The young woman asked as a butterfly sat on her hand and she batted her snow-covered eyelashes while looking in the direction of Mairon who was hiding behind a huge rock covered with ice.

“I… Forgive me,” he cleared his throat and stepped out, bowing his head slightly and she chuckled.

“Your hair resembles fire,” she pointed out. “Are you here to burn me?”

“I don't even know who you are,” Mairon confessed. “I am here for Lady Tasarë,” he explained and the girl pouted.

“Sad,” she shrugged her arms. “I hoped that finally some adventure would happen to me. Do you know I have been living in this castle ever since I was born? A whole century!” She whined. She was an adult already but still very young and considering the fact she did not know the real world, it was understandable that she was still like a child in many ways. “Is there anything else except for the snow?”

“There is,” Mairon assured her and crouched down next to her as he pointed at the butterfly on her hand. “You create such things. Flowers, butterflies…”

“Oh, but they…” She looked down sadly and then she looked up again to meet his gaze but with so much mischief in her eyes that a shiver travelled down Mairon’s spine at how terrifying she truly was. “I bring them to life only to die. Look, they’re drying out already in the cold. I give them life and they suffer because of my whim,” she informed him without any emotion whatsoever.

“Why then?” Mairon inquired.

“Because I am selfish,” she answered. “I destroy.”

“You can heal, too,” Mairon assured her and reached out to help the dying butterfly. “Look,” he focused on giving away some of his energy to make the butterfly regain its strength and the young woman’s eyes sparkled as she laughed.

“You fed him with your own spirit,” she noticed. “Why do you think I would let any parasite feed off of me? Who would be ever worthy of sharing my power?” She asked and Mairon’s mouth opened slightly as he was thinking of an answer but they were interrupted by another woman walking out of the castle through the back door.

“(Y/N),” familiar but horribly changed voice caused his facial muscles to twitch out of nervousness. “You are forbidden from going outside. How many more times do I have to say that?”

“You’ve no control over me. I am my own storm; my own thunder,” the girl named (Y/N) stood up angrily.

Mairon stood up as well and straightened his back as he clasped his hands and kept staring down, not daring to look up before being addressed.

“Stop being dramatic and go back inside,” Tasarë sighed and (Y/N) groaned out of frustration before going inside the castle. “Mairon,” the Elf finally called his name and he raised his head.

His heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. Her kin was known for staying forever young, yet she aged in the most peculiar way. The corruption and rot had spread throughout her and there was nothing but a shell of her old self now. In a way, she reminded Mairon of the fallen Elves that Melkor had taken to turn into the Uruks but she remained more beautiful than them and she was not covered with any scars.

Because it was not his torture that had damaged her but his love. Everything about him was destructive and deadly.

The young Elven maiden dancing innocently around the fire in the moonlight was long gone. The woman standing in front of him was a mockery of her old self. 

“Stop pitying me, Mairon,” she snarled at him with contempt. “Did he send you here or were you a fool to give in to your urges to find me and check on the state of me?” She asked.

“He sent me,” Mairon answered. “I have a message.”

“Come in then,” Tasarë pointed at the doors and he went inside the castle. It was as dark and cold on the inside as on the outside.

Tasarë led him to the big room where (Y/N) was sitting as well. She was reading a manuscript by the fire and looked up with a wicked smile at the sight of them.

“Leave us,” Tasarë ordered and the young girl clenched her jaw out of anger before walking out.

“Who is she?” Mairon asked in a whisper.

“You know who she is. You suspect. The answer is yes,” Tasarë sat by the table and reached her hand out for him to hand her the message.

Mairon did so but his brow remained furrowed. Well, it was possible for his master to become a father – as wicked as it sounded – but he was now bound to the form of his flesh. That was the very reason why he was avoiding taking part in his battles despite some accusing him of cowardice. And for a Vala, being bound to the form of your flesh also meant that you could reproduce.

“Forgive me. I have asked the wrong question,” Mairon interrupted Tasarë as she was reading and she looked up to meet his gaze, irritated. “I should have not asked who she was,” he nodded. “What is she?”

“It is hard to tell,” Tasarë answered. “She is like a god but weaker than one. Perhaps a bit like you. She can change her forms and no ordinary blow will slay her. She can create life as you have already seen. She… terrifies me,” Tasarë confessed. “But I love her.”

“Like you love her father?”

Tasarë gave him a scolding look.

“You are asking too many questions, Mairon. He will look through your mind, don’t you know? He will punish you for the fact you have seen (Y/N). That you know about her. That you dared to ask about her and now this… My sweet devil, you must enjoy the pain he is giving you,” she shook her head.

“So do you, apparently,” Mairon did not give up. The punishment would come anyway already, she was right about that.

“It is impossible not to… He is a god,” Tasarë explained as if she was surprised that she had to explain that at all. “Do you have any idea how it feels to be chosen by a god?”

“Not like you do,” Mairon admitted.

Long silence occurred and Tasarë looked around as if she was scared Melkor was right there, spying on them. Because, perhaps he could be. She beckoned Mairon over and he leaned in to hear her words better and her lips nearly brushed his slightly pointed ear as his ginger hair tickled her cheek.

“I have dismissed her to protect you and her from his wrath. You cannot know too much about her but one thing I shall tell you – she is half me, too. Half of the real me. The woman you saw dancing by the fire as a beast; the woman you kidnapped to lay her on his lethal altar and sacrifice her. And now her daughter terrifies me but the amount of her power is so vast�� She can heal as much as destroy, my sweet master of deception. And I can see how much healing is what you truly crave,” Tasarë confessed. “Promise me that you will take care of her if anything happens. That you will watch over her. You owe me that. You owe that to the young maiden you took away from her family for him to destroy.”

“I can’t assure you I will be able to tame her,” Mairon breathed out, taken aback by her plea.

“I am not asking you to tame her,” Tasarë shot him a glance. “Don’t you even dare! I am asking you to… accompany her. She is awfully lonely here. She craves to see the world and I am sure the world craves to see her as well for she is a wonder.”

“I will,” Mairon nodded, with all seriousness.

He had seen (Y/N) only for a while but he was drawn to her already. In a way, he understood why Melkor was hiding her from the world. Everyone would be drawn to her. She was the most extraordinary creature. Her enormous power, the light balancing with the darkness within her – the innocence mixed with wickedness. 

He was honoured to be chosen by her mother to be burdened with such a task. And he owed her that favor. 

When Melkor fell and the Valar locked him away, Tasarë followed him even though she was offered mercy. But there was no life for her anymore except for the life next to her lover and she refused to abandon him in the abyss. She volunteered to spend the eternity there with him and the Valar were in awe of her devotion to the point they granted her Elven flesh the possibility of spending her forever alongside Melkor in the dimension of his prison.

The Valar also found out about the existence of (Y/N) and they debated for a long time about what to do with a creature so extraordinary. However, she remained completely innocent so far and the only danger about her was her father’s heritage.

Nienna, She Who Weeps, was (Y/N)’s greatest advocate. And when Mairon was given his second chance to come back to Valinor and face his judgement, they asked him to bring (Y/N) with him because they wanted to meet her – yet the castle she was in remained out of their grasp, which only made Mairon realise that it was truly another dimension that his master had created to hide his lover and offspring in from the world.

And so Mairon went back to that secluded realm in the North, trying to find his master’s daughter. And he found her inside the castle, curled on the floor, in the middle of the biggest room. She seemed to be frozen but she was obviously still alive. He crouched down next to her and touched her shoulder gently, which caused her to stir.

“They abandoned me. Both of them. I shall stay here forever,” she mumbled out.

“Did you not want to see the world?” Mairon asked her gently and (Y/N) looked up at him as she snorted.

“That was a long time ago. My father is defeated now. There is no world for me anymore,” she answered, as dramatically as when he had met her for the first time a few centuries earlier.

“Truth to be told, your father was destroying the world. There would be nothing for you to see if he succeeded. But it is still there, although hurt and bruised. Together, we can heal it,” Mairon offered her his hand.

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow at him, visibly intrigued. She sat up and fixed her hair.

“I promised your mother to watch over you if anything happens. She did not want you to be left alone,” he added to encourage her.

“Why would she ask you out of all?” (Y/N) remained suspicious, doubting his status.

“My name is Mairon. I was your father’s most powerful Lieutenant,” Mairon pointed out, nearly offended that he had to introduce himself to anyone. “Most people know me by a different name, though. It is… Sauron,” he winced a little while saying this.

“The Abhorred,” (Y/N) hummed to herself. “Ah, yes, my mother only spoke of you this way when you were not around,” she added and Mairon pursed his lips, trying not to show his irritation too much. “Well, do you promise me that I will see the world?” She asked as she held his hand, which he still kept extended.

“Yes, I do,” Mairon nodded.

It was never his intention to inform her about the chance the Valar wanted to give them. No, it was not his plan to take her to Valinor and to face their judgement. He had much better plans for the two of them.

Ever since he had seen her for the first time and the promise he had made to her mother, he could not help imagining and plotting them two ruling over Middle-earth. And when Melkor’s defeat had become a question of when instead of if, he had already known that (Y/N) was his future.

Despite the seed of evil deep inside of her – alongside the seed of goodness, of course – she was an innocent being who knew nothing of the real world. He could shape her the way he wished and whatever would come out of her was all in his hands now. In a way, he was a god of this situation – considering she would not be too uncontrollable due to her undeniable power. But which seed would grow within her was up to him entirely. It was his choice which part of her he would water and feed, pamper and spoil.

“We will go everywhere. We will heal and we will conquer. I will take your father’s place amongst the dark creatures of the shadows. I will lead them and I will rule over Middle-earth but you will not be hidden away any longer. No, you will be right by my side,” Mairon promised. He was always good with words and he could see how her terrifying eyes were starting to sparkle at his promises.

“As?” She inquired.

“What do you mean as?” He furrowed his brows.

“As whom? I will be by your side as whom?” (Y/N) explained her question.

“As whoever you wish to be. I am not here to tame you,” he remembered her mother’s words.

No, he was there to use her. To take advantage of her power and to bask in it. To introduce her as Morgoth’s daughter and his right hand, which would convince the dark creatures to follow him more eagerly.

And to have her as his own, to own her, to be the only man able to touch her and look at her. His master’s daughter – she was a prize indeed. Half-goddess he was unworthy of and yet she would eat from his hand.

Those were only bold daydreams that he knew his master and her mother would kill him for but they were far away and he remained out of their reach. 

Because perhaps there was some goodness in him still and that urge to heal the world but at heart he was a predator and a warlord. And even though she still felt like nothing but Melkor’s humbled servant sometimes, he knew that with time he would eventually bloom into his worthy successor. Offering him her daughter while calling out the remains of his softness, Tasarë had not known that she had been giving (Y/N) away to Melkor’s shadow.

“I can sense your greed, Sauron,” (Y/N) squeezed his fingers tighter as if she was trapping him. “But greed is no stranger to me for I have been locked here since birth. I am greedy for life. Selfish for it. And I need your guidance,” she confessed, looking deep into his eyes.

He saw fire in her gaze – her father’s uncontrollable destruction. Perhaps he should slay her and leave her to rot. Perhaps it would be for the better for the whole of Middle-earth and for him, too. He got scared suddenly that he would never be able to keep her temper and her powers under control.

That not only she would finish her father’s work but she would overthrow him – Mairon himself.

But he could also see the flowers blooming and the sun rising above the green hills – she and she only could turn Middle-earth into a realm as beautiful as Valinor; the place he was no longer welcome.

Mairon helped (Y/N) to stand up and he adjusted her dresses as if he was a maid, getting rid of all the dust.

“Do you think the world will fall on its knees at the sight of me?” She asked without the smallest hint of irony. Nearly innocently she believed that she was the most exceptional and the most special creature. And the worst thing was that she had every right to because she was. 

“I will make sure of it,” Mairon promised her and she smiled.

And when she was smiling, she was resembling her mother the most – the very same kind smile Tasarë had been giving him during their journey to Melkor after he had kidnapped her.

Mairon’s heart clenched at the memory.

From one fortress to another Mairon took her – from one prison to another, (Y/N) would say. They had moved South significantly but they hadn’t even left the North yet and (Y/N) was bitter about it since snow and ice was still all she could see. She was unprepared to roam freely around Middle-earth, though, and she was given much more space now instead while the new fortress was much fuller with creatures of all kinds, therefore she could no longer call herself lonely.

It made Mairon happy to see how the Orcs were bowing their heads at the sight of her, nearly touching the ground with their foreheads; too scared to look into her terrifying, cold eyes. He was so excited about it that he did not realise how suspicious Adar was getting.

(Y/N) was given the most beautiful gowns by Mairon and even though it was making him feel frustrated to feel this way – he truly enjoyed giving her gifts and watching her eyes sparkle, although sometimes she would openly admit she found something ugly. He waited for her harsh judgement with anticipation and her approval meant the world to him, meanwhile her rejection felt like a blow. And he hated that for one reason only – it was a brutal reminder that he was a Maia and his nature was of a servant.

His eyes always followed her – he told himself it was to protect her but truth to be told, it was the world that should be protected from her and not the other way around. Yet, he witnessed her whims and dramatic outbursts, her laughter – both pure and wicked – her dancing and her acts of creation. Within the walls of this fortress her butterflies lived much longer and she adorably found it endearing. 

But she was also fascinated by the weapons of all sorts and forbidden magic spells left by her father. Her blood was as black and thick as his, Mairon noticed one day when she drew it with a dagger to perform one innocent spell.

He felt like a nanny sometimes – running towards her to take away the books with too dangerous spells from her. She was yet unprepared to use them. He did not even want to think about what would happen if she was left unsupervised.

Therefore, even in her dreams he followed her and she often dreamt of her mother and of imaginary lands since she had no idea what the real ones looked like. And he had to admit the realms (Y/N) was creating with her mind were… beautiful. They were full of sun and green fields of grass, butterflies and flowers. They were ideal and full of harmony – the very first time Mairon had joined them in her dreams, he nearly cried because it was exactly how he wanted the world to look like. But it also meant that at the end of the day (Y/N)’s heart remained pure and uncorrupted.

And just like that, he fell in love with her. As her protector, as her servant, as her subject, as her friend. As her lover.

One evening Mairon asked (Y/N) to join him in the forge where she had not yet been. She walked inside and looked around with widened eyes and a smile – soft but a little contemptuous as well.

“Do you like it?” Mairon asked her with his hands clasped nervously behind his back.

“Perhaps. But is it not a commoner’s work to commit himself to physical labour?” She leaned her back onto the pillar and Mairon chuckled nervously as he approached her.

“Would a commoner craft you such wonders?” He asked as he reached his hand out and showed her a necklace and a ring that he was holding inside his hand and that he had forged for her a few days earlier. He had been lacking the courage to give it to her until now, though.

“Are they for me?” (Y/N) asked as her eyes sparkled when she took the jewellery from him. Mairon nodded at her question, proud of himself because she visibly liked the gift. “Why?” She asked.

“You do not own any,” he answered.

“But who sees me here? I surely have no need to look grand for the Orcs,” she laughed.

“I see you,” Mairon pointed out and she froze.

He panicked at first, scared that those three words had been three too many. But she was not looking at him at all. She pointed her finger at the item behind his back.

“That is…” (Y/N) whispered.

“Your father’s crown,” Mairon nodded and walked up to it. “I am about to reforge it to fit me. Do you want to watch?” He asked and (Y/N) nodded, hesitantly.

She put on her new necklace and a new ring before Mairon offered her one of the leather aprons. It made her giggle when he was putting it over her gown.

“I would not want your robes to get damaged,” he informed her and she nodded as she sat on the chair nearby and watched with fascination how he worked.

When the black iron of her father’s crown melted, she sighed loudly and Mairon turned his head around to raise his eyebrow at her.

“What is it?”

“I was thinking if you could forge an item for me made out of this iron, too,” she looked up at him. “He was my father. I wish to keep a part of him with me always.”

“You are part of him,” Mairon laughed and she pouted. “But, surely, why not,” he promised and she grinned.

He poured a small amount of the liquid black iron aside to one of the cauldrons over the fire to avoid solidification. And while he worked on his new crown, he wondered what he could forge for (Y/N).

A bold idea came to his mind – an idea so forbidden that he felt a shiver travel down his spine at the thought of what her parents would do to him for having it.

Yet, he was out of their reach, so he went with it and at the end of the night, he handed (Y/N) a wedding band.

“Another ring?” She huffed. “Thought you would be more creative,” she sighed. “It doesn’t even have any gemstone attached to it!”

“Do you know what that is?” Mairon asked, a little impatiently, but mostly nervously. If she rejected him now, it would certainly be one of his grandest humiliations.

(Y/N) furrowed her brows and tilted her head as she stared at the item in her hand, looking at it from every angle. And when the light from the forge’s fire reflected upon the surface of the band, the letters glistened and she read them out loud in a whisper.

“It is a love declaration in Black Speech,” she looked up to meet his gaze as Mairon swallowed the lump in his throat. “That language was not made with love declarations in mind, that is for sure,” she remarked.

“Nevermind then,” Mairon tore the item out of her hands and walked away nervously to avoid her gaze. Taking deep breaths to calm himself down after such a humiliation, he did not hear her footsteps following him.

“Sauron…” She whispered, addressing him by the only name she was ever calling him with because her mother had taught her so, and touched his shoulder but he flinched. “You do not like that name, do you?”

“Yet you keep using it,” he drawled through gritted teeth.

“The Abhorred sounds so pretty to me,” she confessed and he softened a little but still refused to turn around and meet her gaze. “From the moment I saw you those centuries ago… I knew that you were the one for me,” she added and Mairon’s heart quickened. “You showed up out of nowhere like a knight out of my dreams who would save me. Your red hair contrasting with the snow… I shall never forget that day.”

Mairon finally turned around and he watched as she cupped his face gently and pulled his head down to be able to place a kiss upon his forehead while his heart began to pounder.

“However, I cannot marry a man who needs me more than I need him,” she added when she let go of him, her words shattering his heart into millions of pieces.

And alongside the pain, anger came as well. Mairon did not enjoy being rejected.

“If you think you do not need me, you are mistaken,” he spoke as the sudden fury overtook him, causing his veins to swell with thick, black blood. (Y/N) took a step back at the sight. “If it was not for me, you would still be rotting in that fortress, hidden away from the world. I took you here, I prepare your father’s armies to continue their march because you have never been taught anything. I am the one promising you the whole Middle-earth, ensuring its people will worship you. If you do not wish to be sent back there to rot, then you have to accept the fact that I am your only future!” He snapped and calmed down right after, softening immediately as his hands began to tremble slightly. He fixed his hair and clasped his shaky hands quickly to hide his nervousness from her.

“You… You dropped the band,” was all (Y/N) said to that as she pointed at the floor before crouching down to pick it up.

Before she stood up, she looked up at his face and it only made him feel even more guilty and scared for lashing out on her.

“Forgive me,” he grabbed her face and leaned in to be as close as he could. “Forgive me, please, I did not mean to… Gods, it has never been my intention to hurt you,” he was lying to herself as much as to his own self. “You must forgive me, it was only caused by fear. Fear of losing you,” he continued and felt her muscles relaxing eventually.

She even dared to wrap her arms around him as she clinged to him like a child seeking warmth.

“I would never leave you,” she breathed out and brushed his ginger hair to put the loose hair strands behind his ears. “There is nothing I am scared of more than to be left all alone again. You were right and I was mistaken – I do need you. I was teasing you only but I did not expect such wrath in return. You are all I have. What is the point of being so powerful when there is no one to witness?” She finished with a playful question and Mairon sighed out of relief, leaning in to brush her nose a little with his own.

She winced slightly and giggled before moving her head to brush him with the tip of her nose as well. Like two kittens they played like that for a while until he finally joined their lips together and she opened her mouth to let him devour her.

He felt Melkor’s wrath even from all the dimensions away but he could not care less about any of that. To hold a creature like her so close and to feel the heart of her flesh beating so fast for him was a victory of its own. For a moment, he nearly wanted to abandon all his schemes and start a new life with her somewhere – to create a life like the one from her dreams but for the both of them only where they could hide from the world and spend eternity in each other’s embrace.

“Please, don’t send me away back there,” she whispered softly after breaking the kiss, her lower lip trembling slightly.

How silly she could be. He would not be able to do so even if he tried because she was too powerful for that. Yet, her loneliness caused her dependance on him and it was all for him for the taking. He felt bad taking advantage of that but it was too tempting to reject.

“My beautiful (Y/N),” he whispered and caressed her cheeks. “You will never be alone. Wherever you go, I shall follow. And wherever you go, I shall make sure everyone there worships your light and your darkness as equals for you are too powerful to be reduced to one. You will help me to heal, to create new life and I will lead your father’s armies to ensure our victories,” he promised and she smiled before pecking his lips once more.

(Y/N) took a small step back and he watched in awe as she put the wedding band onto her finger. His heart and soul sang at the sight.

“I refuse to be in the shadows like my mother once was. I want to lead the armies with you,” she met Mairon’s gaze. “I want to earn my own squalid name, Sauron. The Abhorred. I want to carry my own title with pride,” she revealed, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

How cute and innocent she could be one moment and how terrifying the next. Mairon wondered if the war of her two natures within her was exhausting her. Was she being haunted constantly by the duel of her light and her darkness?

But perhaps there was no war within her. It was only natural for her, after all. Perhaps they coexisted and balanced perfectly and it all made sense somehow. And perhaps it was not his duty to understand any of this but to accept her the way she was.

“You will be given a sword and armour,” he promised. “You will be their Queen of The Day and of The Night. You will be their rescue and their demise. Their Sun and their Moon. Their Life and their Death. And whatever path you choose, I shall follow you down the road.”

“Worry not,” (Y/N) chuckled and approached him to put her hands on his shoulders. “I know it is your wish to heal. And my wish is to rule over a world so beautiful like the ones from my dreams. I will only destroy those who stand on our way to create such greatness,” she swore.

Her words soothed him but could he truly trust her? She was Melkor’s daughter and his influence might have been stronger than they both suspected. What other choice did Mairon have, though? To slay her? He would never do that. Therefore, all he could do was to keep her close and take care of her.

Who was he fooling, though? His own self?

He was there to follow and serve and it was only the matter of time when she would realise how powerful she truly was and what a great influence she had over him as well.

Even if she would destroy the whole Middle-earth like her father wanted to and create a land of ashes, he would gladly rule over it by her side. 

Gods, he would gladly serve there as his Queen’s subject and that would be enough.

“You have no idea what you are doing to me,” he breathed out and she giggled.

“I do. I can see inside your mind.”

MASTERLIST

[inkybyl]

Everybody Gangsta till they gotta take their lil sister to nursery

I’m super ill so I finished some old sketches of a Modern/Gang Family type AU I still wanna flesh out 🫶

Lowkey wanna waffle about the ideas real quick in case I don’t draw them

Below is big brother Wrecker and lil brother Tech I love them.

Basically I had this idea that Hunter (as the eldest) has been looking after Wrecker and his younger twin brothers Tech & Crosshair. Still trying to figure out a way to make this work, but one day their dad, Jango Fett turns up at their door with another pair of toddler twins in his arms, Boba & Omega, and asks Hunter if he can take his new little sister in.

I have a concept dialogue so I’ll just throw it in here 🤣

~

“And you’ve come all this way just to tell me you’ve got more kids?” Hunter gruffed, leaning on the doorframe with a displeased look on his face while crossing his arms. Jango sighed, running a hand through his curly locks, “I know this isn’t ideal. But- I don’t know where she’d be safest.”

Hunter tilted his head as he stared down at his blonde toddler sister, “Us? You’re just going to dump her on us?” He questioned, feeling his heart rate increase in a flurry of different emotions.

Jango stared down at his daughter with a solemn look, closing his eyes as he took in a deep breath, gently squeezing Boba’s hand, “Hunter- there’s no time to explain-“, “No time to explain. Right. Plenty of time to make us and move on like we’re just not here until it’s convenient, apparently.”

Jango stared down at his son, his skull tattoo on full display as Hunter refused to break eye contact. He didn’t have the energy to fight. “… Please…”

Hunter’s head recoiled in shock at the gentle tone in his voice, staring back down at his little sister who kept fiddling with her long-sleeved shirt. “Her name is Omega. She’s a curious one so keep an eye out for that. Where I’m going… it’s no place for her… she needs a family that will look out for her.” He muttered, swallowing in an attempt to moisten his throat. Hunter looked up at his father, his eyes flicking to the floor, “… Why not Rex… or Cody? She’ll be safer with them.” Hunter whispered, turning his head away. Jango shook his subtly, running his hand over Omega’s soft hair, “Just look after her, yeah?” He grumbled, his tough personality returning bit by bit as he realised the tears forming in his eyes.

~

So yeah!

In terms of Wrecker - he was only a couple years younger than Hunter so he could help out with looking after the twins, Crosshair and Tech. I have a headcanon that Wrecker was incredibly skilled/knowledgable with technology, weapons and electronics, and while Tech was growing up he had a natural talent for those things, but still needed teaching.

Wrecker would teach Tech different skills like building things from scratch, how to disarm or arm a weapon/explosive, etc etc. In terms of this AU, I’m thinking that Tech desperately wanted to impress his older brother by showing him how much he’s learnt from him, but he got a bit ahead of himself.

~

“Wrecker! You’re back! Come, look at what I’ve built!” Tech joyously exclaimed, pulling his taller brother’s arm through to their garden. Wrecker, back from a work out, was finishing the rest of his drink as he chuckled softly at his little brother’s excitement. “Alright, alright - I’m right behind you.” He playfully shook his head as he ducked out of the way of the doorframe, walking down the steps as Tech sprinted to the other end of their common.

“Stay there, Wrecker! Take a seat on the steps!” Tech ordered with a massive smile, “I know you’re going to love this!”

Wrecker smiled and took a seat on the wooden steps with an audible ‘creak’. “Ooh, am I going to see some fireworks?” Wrecker called over to Tech, squinting to try and see what he was bringing out. Tech pulled out his newest contraption, modelled to look like something Wrecker had tinkered with previously. Wrecker couldn’t inspect the handiwork in detail from where he was sitting, something he would usually like to do before Tech would test his newest experiments.

Tech smiled at his device, it appeared to be a form of firework launcher, possibly to assist the velocity the devices could travel at and reach higher altitudes. He knew how much his older brother loved explosions of different varieties, watching the beautiful combustion of chemicals mix in a stunning array of colours, sound and temperatures.

He ran back and forth to assemble all the remaining parts, grabbing some fireworks along the way, lining them up in his contraption. “I have created a far greater firework launcher, if this works we can create our own larger versions, and if they get launched with enough altitude, the massive blasts will not affect our sight or hearing! We will be able to appreciate the massive blasts by creating a safe distance!” He rambled with a giddy smile, showing Wrecker one of the fireworks from where he was standing.

Wrecker smiled genuinely, but dropped slightly as his gut twisted in discomfort. Something was wrong. “That sounds awesome, Tech. Let me take a look at it before you start pointing that around,” he chuckled, hoping to sound as casual as possible, placing his hand on his knee as he slowly stood up. Tech waved his hands, “No, no, no! I’ve got this!” He cheered, lining up a larger-than-normal firework into his device, he probably custom made it, too.

Wrecker’s stomach began to churn, his voice slipping to the big brother tone, “Tech, let me see it,” he said, beginning to walk over to his younger brother. Tech’s face dropped in disappointment, brows furrowing as he looked down at the creation, before flicking his eyes back to Wrecker. “Wait, Wrecker! I can show you- i-it works! I promise! Look!” Without thinking, Tech activated the device, the fuse being lit instantly as he stepped back to watch it fizzle and crack. Wrecker’s ears could pick up on the irregular sounds of the firework’s fuse burning away, not liking the way Tech’s device groaned and whined in an eerie way.

Wrecker’s pace increased, “Tech, get behind me will ya?” His voice was raised, outstretching his arm towards him with his palm open, “Now.” He could see Tech’s brain start to take everything in all at once, the upset expression on his face, and his hands desperately trying to shake out the tension that’s hit him instantly. The sounds of his experiment started to grow louder and more unstable, the modified firework on the verge of blasting off. “Wrecker- I promise! This one will work! I’ll be able to show you! I’ll—“

Wrecker’s body moved all by itself - barrelling himself towards Tech in one strong push of his heartbeat. The contraption reacted with the firework, the combination of the chemicals and elements combining in a dangerous combustion. Wrecker managed to move Tech before any shrapnel could reach him, shielding him from the blast by his hip, holding him with a bruising-tight grip. Wrecker’s adrenaline was kicked into overdrive, only feeling the pressure and heat from the explosion on the left side of his face and shoulder.

Tech was frozen underneath his brother’s hold, covering his ears while trying to control his breathing before a panic attack could ensue, his brain rattling with multiple thoughts and words whizzing through his head - almost screaming at himself. Time must have gone by because he could hear Wrecker’s laboured breaths, shakily turning his head to stare up at his elder brother. His eyes widened at the blood drops that splattered on his cheeks and goggles, unable to take a breath in at Wrecker’s marred flesh. “W-Wrecker..?”

Wrecker’s eyes were dark and lifeless, not even able to blink as his eyes would twitch up into his eyelids instead. The blast had charred and burned all of the left side of his head, the smell of his skin made bile rise up to Tech’s throat as he could see how the metal shrapnel must have sliced across his nose, eye brow and lips. Wrecker began rocking slightly, his laboured breaths slowing down as he stared down at his little brother. “What.. what’s with you…?” He grunted out, completely unaware to the extent of his injuries, only being able to focus on Tech’s horrified expression before his vision went completely black.

~

Had these written out and thought I’d share! Very early concept stages ofc, but I love playing with these ideas. After the blast, Wrecker’s ability with his previous interests had dropped significantly apart from his knowledge about weapons and demolitions - and I think after an explosion to the side of your head would alter your physical mental being, possibly keeping him at his juvenile state of mind as he grows up.

But yeah! 💫 if you read all of this, thank you so much! 🫶✨

[eveningepiphany]

tease | H.S oneshot

summary: seeing harry tonguing his guitar last night has you finally admitting the state he puts you in. and that’s never good when you’re a tour photographer. especially now you have photographic evidence of the moment.

warnings: SMUT, oral (fem rec), dirty talk, praise, swearing

a/n: can’t stop thinking about that fucking video? like it’s on loop in my head I can’t. he was so slutty last night it’s illegal. also this isn’t 100% proofread so enjoy I hope it’s okay!

———

Some days at work are harder than others for you.

Today, you knew was going to be rough the second Harry walked out in single-handedly the most revealing outfit he could have. Borderlining absolutely slutty.

And as his tour photographer, that is quite a bold statement to make when you’ve seen every single outfit— and when his top half is often found shirtless up on stage.

But tonight, out backstage when you were prepping your SD cards and ordering your camera lenses, he walked out of his dressing room adorning his stage outfit to show you, and your stomach dropped the sight of him.

It was a new style, something he hadn’t worn before. A cropped, tasseled blue vest, paired with low rise pants that looked like they were clinging onto his hips for dear life.

“Alrighty, what d’ya think?” He asked, doing a little spin to shake the tassels.

Your mouth opened and words struggled to form as your head fogged over from just seeing his body. And the way his ferns were fully out— along with almost all of his other ink on display. Arms, chest and all.

You had sworn this, many times, was just your eye for art. For people like him who made photography electric. But as time and the tour progressed on from its earlier start in 2021, it was getting harder to convince yourself. Because even if you didn’t acknowledge it, there was no way to justify the heat that stirred in your stomach as just admiration.

“Oh— wow— I like the tassels,” you paused, tongue swiping over your lips, “they’ll be really fun in the photos, I’ll try to get some motion blur type shots with them.”

Your hand reached out before your brain even computed what it was doing, grabbing one of the rhinestoned threads at the base of his vest and running down it. Knuckles brushing the side of his chest.

“Excited to see them as always, m’lovely.” He smiles, the pet name making you flush.

“10 minutes till you’re on, H!” Someone called out.

You laughed at the panicked expression on his face as he realised he was probably dawdling, and in fact behind on his own schedule.

“Alright!” He confirmed back, then chuckling as he whispered to you, “I still gotta brush m’teeth.”

“Well, cmon let’s go, I’ll see what behind the scene shots I can get.”

And you thought that the time spent with him pre-show would ease your racing mind a little, but now that you’re out on the floor you’re almost jittering.

He looks fucking delectable. And by the sound of the stadium around you, they notice it too.

As he steps out you have to force your camera up to your face, which is something you never have to do? But looking at him through your viewfinder is hardly enough to satiate you.

Especially a little later in the show, when your camera is aimed to the back of him— and he’s squated down to get a drink of water…

His pants slipping so far down his hips that the waistband of his Calvin Kleins are easily visible.

Some girls on barricade behind you are going feral simply at the sight. And you can hardly blame them, because the sight of them makes you a little light headed too. Tonight he’s really not leaving much to the imagination.

You feel obliged to take a photo of it, lens aiming up to him— hearing the girls from behind you as your cameras shutters open to capture the moment. They’re shouting clearly, “Y/N, you get that pic girl!”

Another one yelling from your left, “SHES ONE OF US!”

You laugh at them. The fans are always an amazing part of the show. You leave with an array of adorable bracelets, funny shirts, and always lovely compliments.

You snap a few more photos before someone calls your name again, and you turn. A brunette girl, in an incredible replica of his recent purple and black heart overalls from the recent Wembley show, is standing.

“Y/N!” She reaffirms when you’re looking at her.

“Hi lovely, your outfit is amazing.” You smile, and she has fresh tears streaming down her face— a common love on tour occurrence.

“Ohmygod, thank you so much. I made you this tshirt, i wanted to give it to you!” She pulled a white shirt from her feet, presumably from a bag.

She held it out, unfolding it to show off the print on the front.

You immediately couldn’t help but let out a shocked laugh at it. A big pink shaded heart, with 2 also heart-shaped photos on each side of it— of you and Harry. But the best bit was the bubble written font, “my favourite parents!” that is above it.

“I— can I please take a photo of you with it first.”

She slaps a hand over her mouth, “No way, of course you fucking can.”

You take a few photos of her posing with the shirt, “I have 2, please feel free take them both!”

You can only assume one of them is intended for Harry. And even if it’s a little weird of you to take them, you do anyway because the girl was too lovely to even consider denying them.

“Thank you so much.” You chuckle as you hang them over your elbow. She still looks starstruck at the interaction that just occurred and you’re overly excited to edit the photos later on.

In the time of the short interaction, you turned to find Harry. He’s about to transition into she, and is over on the main stage.

You hustle to get yourself up from the floor and onto the stage area. Moving to chuck the shirts on the bench, where most of the bands essentials are for easy access.

Harry sees you over there and you decide to show him the design on the front before you can overthink it.

He’s beginning to sing the intro, and he chuckles the lyrics into the mic as he sees it. And fans around the whole arena scream at the shirt— which you didn’t realise was being displayed on the big screens.

You shake your head, struggling not to admire the tone of his laugh that just echoed around the stadium.

Also blushing a little at the fact you did genuinely just show him a shirt with both of your faces of it, deeming you both as a fans ‘parents’.

You go back to doing your actual job, moving to get a good angle, aiming to blend back into the background as you take more photos for the night.

Capturing the sway and jolts of his tassels as he sings. Getting a few shots that not only capture his energy but also his outfit perfectly.

You smile at yourself and at your work.

And you glance up as Harry joins in with Mitch while he absolutely shreds his guitar solo.

Sweat is beading on Harry’s chest and you’re all too aware how much money people would pay to see it from your angle. Thank god for Barcelona’s heat.

And, fuck, not only is it that. His arms look perfect as well. This outfit is really just showing as much of himself off as possible.

You change the settings on your camera hastily to alter the outcome of these next few shots.

He’d stepped away from the mic, turning to look at the band, mouthing something you couldn’t decipher.

He starts to lean down head getting closer to guitar. His tongue juts out…

Your eyes immediately pull back a little from your camera because, there no fucking way he’s about to let some kind of intrusive thought win here.

Time seems to slow. But not the movement of his tongue. It’s flicking fast, as if to mimic it playing the strings of his guitar. Or something like that anyway, because all you can think of is… well… something too inappropriate to even be entertaining in your head given he’s literally your boss.

You can hear the piercing screams around you, someone in the front shouting what the fuck loud enough you swear someone in the back of the stadium could’ve heard it.

You’re not even aware you bought your camera back up to your face and that you’d clicked the button a few times until it’s done and the moments over.

Harry’s laughing at himself, and Sarah is face palming at his lewd action. His smug smile after solidifies the fact he knows what the fuck he just did. And exactly the kind of effect it’s left on some people.

Just not aware you’re one of them…

Because you can’t deny the way you spent rest of the night with a nagging warmth between your legs. One that festered long after the moment was over.

After the show came to a close and you eventually ended up in your hotel room, freshly showered as you edited some of your favourite photos. Including the shots you’d captured of him and his guitar.

Which were fucking insane. You had just the right amount of contrast going on in them, and a certain degree of motion blur that indicated the movement his tongue was making.

The final product was amazing once you had edited it on photoshop. But you spent the remainder of the night in your hotel room ridiculously worked up. Left in bed toying with your clit lazily as you stared at the celling, acting like you didn’t have a specific person in your thoughts.

It got to the point in the next day where you stressed about what photos to show him. And whether or not that included the one you literally came to the thought of last night?

Usually you wouldn’t hesitate, especially since it looked incredible. But you were embarrassed internally. What would he think, or say? And could you even play off your sheer attraction to the image.

You placed your head in your hands with a groan, sat in the chair over by the window. You’re tired, and swear on your life your decision making is going to be impaired when he walks into your room.

Which you didn’t have much more time to stress much about it as a knock came to your door that you knew was him.

You rushed over to open it, finding him standing there, hair freshly washed and clad in much more clothing then you last saw him in. A plain white shirt and some gym shorts— that still made him look hot as fuck, without even trying?

He greets you with a good morning, voice a tad hoarse from last nights show. And he’s smiling as he hands you a cup, one you know is filled with hot chocolate. Just for you.

“I owe you like 100 hot chocolates for how many you’ve bought me just in this leg of the tour alone.” You laugh, letting him past you.

He glances at the unmade bed— you stopped making it a while after he started to come visit your room the morning after the show to pick which photos he liked best, and ones he also wanted edited. Sometimes he’d settle himself on it, legs crossed like a cute little kid.

“Think of it as a gift for all your talent. And putting up with me.” He chuckles, and plops himself down on the chair that’s opposite to the one you were sitting in.

So you follow suit, walking back over the your chair. Taking a small sip of the sweet liquid in your hands.

“Have any favourites so far?” He asks, taking a quick swig of his own drink— which you can only assume is hot tea.

Yes, you think, the one where you’re about to practically fuck your guitar strings with your tongue.

You substitute that for, “A few! The tassels were so fun to try and capture.”

You rotated the laptop screen to show him a cool shot you edited of him. It was a front on photo, his arms extended and washboard abs in their full fucking glory along with his tattoos.

He nods, a smile coming across his lips, crinkling the corners of his slightly tired eyes.

You showcase him a couple, all that he gives relentless praise on— regardless of if they had been edited or not. But you just want to show him your favourite.

You swallow as you stare at it on the screen of your macbook. Working up the courage to turn the screen to him as he waits cluelessly. Does he even know you took this?

“This one too…” you hesitate a little as you swivel the laptop around on your lap.

“Oh. I like this one a lot.” He says, nodding and then glancing up from the screen to your semi-flushed face.

“Didn’t know you took that.” He chuckles, shrugging and almost seeming… like he has more to say about this situation.

Like something is laying on the tip of his tongue, just waiting to be said.

You think he’s not going to though, after a beat of silence, you nod.

“Yea… what actually are you doing in this photo?” You nervous laugh, and wonder what kind of answer he’s going to provide.

He runs a hand through his curls, brows raised a little at your question.

“What did you think I was doing?” He quizzes, the corner of his mouth turning up.

“I- well it looked quite… everyone in the audience was going wild. Were you trying to be a tease?”

“I wasn’t! I swear. I was playing the guitar.” He confirmed, yet smirking like he knew there was a two-way perception of the event.

“With your tongue?” You sighed out a laugh.

“You still didn’t answer me. What did you think I was doing?” He backtracks, eyes watching you intensely as you’re both entering some rather dangerous, untouched territory.

You’re quiet again, and he raises his brows still expecting a response.

You flush under his gaze, hand coming to cover your eyes. “It just looked very…”

“Very…?”

“Inappropriate.” You laughed, feeling like you were emotionally torturing yourself by letting this situation happen.

“How so?” He continues to push, wanting to hear more. Secretly adoring the way you get all flustered about it. How badly he wants you to tell him exactly what the movement of his tongue reminded you of.

“It just— you know what I mean, Harry!” You say, now being the one trying to backtrack out of this entire situation. That in the end is still technically your own fault.

You distract yourself with other photos, going in and trying to find another possible contender for his new post on instagram.

“Don’t try and avoid the conversation, love.” He chuckles at your sudden shy demeanour.

“Harry.” You place your hand over your face again trying to mentally reset yourself. Put your thinking back in line.

“Cmon! I’m just curious.” He tries to brush it off, but if he has to resort to begging, he honestly wouldn’t hesitate.

“I know you are, but— it’s weird!” You whine, wanting to die at the fact you had let this happen in the first place.

“I promise I won’t judge.” He places his hand over his heart, face serious, like he was swearing it on his bloodline.

You thought about it a little longer. He clearly was not going to leave you alone if he didn’t get an answer. You could try and lie, but he already knows anyway. He just wants to hear you say it.

“You know, Harry. You just want to hear me say it.” You murmur, bringing up the chocolaty drink to your lips to distract yourself.

“Sure, maybe I do. I wanna confirm my suspicions.” He proposes, a small shrug of his shoulders. You place the drink back on the coaster, staring at him. Eventually caving.

“It— everyone definitely thought it looked like you were, uh, giving oral.” You rushed out, trying to now act as nonchalant as possible to avoid further questioning.

I didn’t work.

“So everyone including you?” He asked.

“Well… yea.” Your cheeks were pink, and he smiled at your flustered voice.

“Dirty thing.” He chuckled, and you almost breathed a sigh of relief thinking maybe you could move on and pretend as if this never happened, but he continues on.

“Had you a little worked up, did I?”

“May I touch on how unprofessional this conversation is?” You bring up, trying to save yourself. But it’s evident in your voice you hardly mean it. You are admittedly a little curious as to where he’s going with this. Equally, if not more embarrassed than anything, but still curious.

“I suppose you can, yes.” He nods.

“But may I bring up how you undressing me with your eyes yesterday was unprofessional? Because unless I’m insane, you definitely were.” He’s cocky, and overconfident with his accusation.

Not that it can be really labelled as an accusation, given he’s not wrong at all.

“I—“ you swallow, “Okay. Whatever. Point proven.”

He laughs at your surrender, shuffling forward on the chair.

“So you were— that’s the kind of stuff you were thinking about me?” He rests his elbows on his knees, watching you intently.

“You are really trying to get something out of me aren’t you? What do you want to hear me say?” You raise your brows, adrenaline coursing through you.

“Just want you to tell me the truth. Be honest with me, since we’re talking about being professional. I think that’s a good start.” He sounds so gentle yet firm, and your devouring this dominant kind of trait he’s showing you.

“Communication and honesty is very important when it comes to professionalism.”

Pleasure has been simmering in your stomach since he walked through the door, and his persistence is beginning to pay off, since you’re starting to let your guard down.

“So you want me to tell you how wet I got after your little stunt last night? That if I wasn’t your employee, after the show you would have found me in your dressing room bent over on the table.”

“Waiting for you to come in there, all sweaty and ready to strip that teeny fucking vest off, and put your mouth to use.”

He’s got a dusting of red over his own cheeks now, blood rushing to his cock as he realised he cracked you open now. Your dirty words spilling out of your mouth after holding back seemingly since last night.

“That what you would’ve done? Bent yourself over my dressing room table waiting for me like a pretty little post-show gift?”

“Maybe so.” You feed into it, watching as his eyes darken with desire.

He sighs out, standing up promptly, “Alright, darling. I’m gonna offer you something. You don’t have to agree, but if you do we can stop at any time. Okay?”

“What exactly are you offering?” You ask as leans his tall frame down to you, hands bracketed on your hips.

“For me to pick you up, put you on that bed and strip you until I can bury my head between your legs.” He stated, matter of factly.

Your thighs are shaking so hard you’re clenching them together— clit throbbing at the pressure.

You can only look up at him and nod, to which he doesn’t take as an answer.

“Baby, need you to use your words. Tell me what you want.”

“Yes, Harry. Want that please.” You whine, very quickly becoming delusional at his close proximity.

He grunts as he picks you up, his arms firm around your body and he carry’s you the few feet to the bed. His lips hot as they suddenly come in contact with your jaw.

He pushes your legs open with his thigh, making you moan and push your hips forward.

“Needy girl.” He whispers, voice dirty and hot near your ear as he sucks on the skin below it.

His hands cascade down your body, finding the waistband of your sweatpants and tugging it down.

“Please, please touch me.” You’re wild, bucking your hips up. Wanting to get his tongue on you so bad.

He chuckles at your sudden spiral, how quickly you’ve unravelled before him. Truly like a present, all laid out waiting just for him.

He palms his hand over your damp front, “Soaking through already, fuckin’ hell.”

You groan as he rubs a pressured circle on your fabric-covered clit.

“Want to tell me who got you so wet?” He coos, slowly moving his fingers over you as he waits for an answer.

You give it to him shamelessly, “You. Want you so badly.”

He’s over the moon to finally have you like this. Because it became apparent rather quickly the crush he’d developed on you since you were hired. And he would be lying if he said he hadn’t fucked his fist at the thought of getting to touch you.

“Oh, you’re being so good for me now. Because I’ve got my hand between your pretty legs I bet.”

You cant even respond as he slides your drenched underwear down away from your tingling core.

He audibly groans at the sight of your bare, glistening pussy. Watching as you squirm under his stare.

“Jesus fuck, Y/N. How long have you been hiding this gorgeous cunt from me?”

“Too long.” You whimper.

His fingers slid through you, and he gathered up your arousal to play with your clit. Relishing the way it slides under his fingertips.

You were clenching around nothing as he gently rolled your clit between calloused fingers. Playing with it until you were a mess. Moaning and grinding up against his fingers. Begging for what he’d promised earlier.

“Your mouth, Harry. Need it. Anywhere.”

“S’that why your little hole is clenching so hard? Like it’s begging for me.” He watched, mesmerised as your hole pulsed around nothing, and leaked more clear arousal.

You look so delicious to him. And he took a moment to appreciate the fact you were about to let him clean up all that arousal pooling at your hole

He sunk down between your legs very slowly. Distracting himself a few times with mouthing over your fabric covered breasts.

Eventually making it there, so he could blow over your clit, letting you squirm at the teasing stimulation. You smelt amazing too, your sweet tangy scent making his mouth water.

He was grabbing at his cock, pushing at it trying to relieve pressure down there as he peppered kisses along your inner thigh.

“Stop teasing, H. Please I— fuck.” You hissed as he bit the seam of skin of your thigh.

“Cant handle it huh? Are you gonna come before I even get my tongue on you.”

“Want to finish around your mouth.” You plead with him. And he shakes his head with a laugh, anticipating your reaction as he leans forward to drag a long stroke through your slit.

Your whole body shakes with a moan. His velvety, hot tongue immediately leaving you a wreck.

“Harryyy…” You cry out, bucking your hips into his face.

“Gonna ruin your cunt, darling.” He murmurs into you, and you know it’s true with the way your hole is clenching.

He sucks your clit into his mouth before placing fast strokes over it. Flicking and rolling it between his tongue and lips.

The sounds of him lapping up your pussy are echoing through the room, further fuelling the fire that’s started in you.

Your whole jaw goes lax as he moves further down, gliding over your hole— pushing his tongue past your entrance.

“Fuck!” You moan, hips jolting, causing his hands to slide up and hold them into place.

He slides it into you as far as he can, nose bumping your clit. Making you realise very quickly that you’re going to finish around his mouth.

He moans into you, again the vibrations makes you writhe in his tight grip. “I- Harry- more!”

It’s making your whole body shake, and he’s pressed so far into you that it’s all you can feel. And it’s obvious that you’re about to come, just with the way your cunt is pulsing around his mouth.

“Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck. Harry, please, I’m gonna come!” You felt the burning spark fly through you, hitting you like a truck when his tongue curled and rocked inside you.

He’s humming and pressing himself so close you genuinely think he can’t breathe. And you realise immediately when the rubber band in snapped inside of you.

It gushed through your whole body, making you moan and cry in his grip. He couldn’t even explain the feeling of having you clenching around his tongue. It almost made him finish in his pants.

He lapped up every single drop he could. But he didn’t stop.

Your clit was so sensitive as he came back up to it with the same intensive pace.

You tried to push him off, “be a good girl, baby, give me another one.”

“So sensitive, Harry.” You whined, hand threading into his soft hair.

“Y’can take it.” He states, going back to sucking on your clit, and the outside of your entrance.

It made you a mess. A proper fucking mess.

You legs were being spread wide by the palm of his hands, and you were almost crying at how sensitive your pussy was.

You were always a five-minute-scroll-break kind of girl when it came to masturbation. So this came as a whole shock to your body. And it was so fucking hot from his perspective.

All he could hear was your filthy fucking whines, begging him one minute to stop and the next to go faster. And he was going insane at how sensitive your little hole was.

That was all he could feel. The clenching of your cunt, the absolute shaking mess your body was becoming.

His tongue flicked over your clit, just as you imagined he would after seeing him last night. And it was getting to messy, your arousal absolutely coating his mouth and chin.

“I-“ a deep suck of your clit, “I’m gonna fucking come!”

You writhed the whole way through your orgasm. Fucking into his face like it was a toy, grinding into it so hard your sure he was completely consumed by you.

And as you came down from the high, still shaking, he cleaned up down there again. Too good to waste, was his thought process. ‘You tasted like a dream’ you’re pretty sure you hear him mutter against you at some point.

His thumbs run over the dips of your hips to bring you back down to earth.

“Good girl, Baby. Took my mouth so fucking well.” He presses a final kiss on your clit as he stood up, your hands dragging up his back did.

“Feeling a little better too, i hope.”

“Yes. So good. H.” You panted, still in a bit of a daze.

“Next time,” he peppered a kiss on you shoulder, “tell me when you’re feeling all worked up okay.”

You nodded, hands sliding to rest in his hair.

“Or by all means, lay yourself out in my dressing room so I can make make come like you deserve.” He smiles at your little nod, still so out of it.

“My little gift, hm?” He coos, stroking a gentle hand down your face.

And he knows he’d do this moment a thousand times over with you. Just to see that smile flash over your lips.

———

[yutarot]

SHES THE MAN [l.hc smau]

9 - “can i get your number?” wc: 1.3k

the party - 11:29PM

you hadn’t been to a party in over 3 months. with summer ending and you living a double life online as your twin brother, you haven’t had much a chance for big social gatherings such as tonight, so when ten asked the group chat for advice on what to do for his birthday, your mind jumped straight to where you are now; surrounded by loud music and literally everyone you have ever known, ever.

well, except for “chenles” new friends.

as you waver your way through the crowd with jaemin and ningning in hopes of finding ten, you hear your name slurred, drunkenly from a voice behind you.

your eyes roll when you realise who the voice belongs to.

“ynnn! ynnnnnn! please i just want to talk to you.”

jaemin gives you a look of ‘do you want some help’ before you shake ur head, turning to face eric who’s arm has already reached out to your shoulder to balance himself.

“it’s not faaaaair for you to break up with me like that..” he sighs, “you know i didn’t really mean any of it.”

“you still said it, eric. now leave me alone.”

he scoffs. “fine, but when i beat your brother in this stupid championship tournament, we’ll see who’s laughing.”

laughing with eric, his friends pat him on the back, causing him to choke and eventually have to rush to the bathroom, presumably being sick.

you brush off whatever conversation that was, finding ten and wishing him a happy birthday.

“congrats! you’re old!” you say, ten glaring at you like you’d said something evil.

“i’m not that old..”

you laugh, jaemin pulling a stupid face in ten’s direction before ten himself begins to threaten him.

but you were so lost in conversation to realise the music had stopped.

for a moment, the laughter and shock drown it out, but as the silence in people’s confusion begins to flow around the room, you hear it.

there was a fight happening.

you couldn’t see what was going on, a circle formed out of the crowd blocking your view as to who was fighting.

you get closer and closer and closer. until finally, you can make out the moving bodies.

until finally, you can make out the faces.

its your ex boyfriend, knelt on the ground, fist raised to punch down at another person. a man who shouldn’t even be here.

a man who you know.

lee haechan.

“holy shit.” you whisper to yourself, ten, by your side, hears your reaction. he looks between you and haechan multiple times before it clicks for him.

“holy SHIT.” ten resounds your words. “thats-“

you hit ten on the arm to get him to shut up.

you had to get out of here, you couldn’t risk slipping up infront of haechan; he may not know you, but you know him.

your plan to leave was scrapped the moment you hear the next few words leave eric’s lips.

“oh great, my girlfriends watching me beat you up. say cheese!”

haechan tries to kick eric off, but it’s mark that finally breaks his way through the circle, prying eric off the ground as he mumbles something before passing flat out on the floor. erics friend sunwoo also emerges from the crowd, helping up eric with a few others and taking him home. as the rest of the crowd disperse, you see mark kneeling down to help haechan up, not a single other of his friends around.

but haechan looks hurt.

“i’ve gotta help him.” you say to ten.

his eyes light up in shock. “what?”

“he’s my friend, ive gotta help him.”

“he’s chenles friend, yn, he has no idea who you are.”

“i know that but look!” you point to where haechan and mark are.

ten sighs. “i’ll see you back at the dorms.” he smiles.

“hope you had a nice birthday ten.” you say before giving him a hug and making your way over to haechan.

this was a stupid, stupid idea.

“you want some help?” you say to mark, struggling to keep haechan up on his feet. “here,” you take haechans other arm, “i’ll take you to jenos room.”

haechan smiles and says thank you the best he can as you make your way up the stairs and through the door of jenos room which is, luckily enough for you, empty. haechan sits on the bed, one hand holding his weight behind him as another pushes through his hair.

mark immediately speaks up, “i’ll go get some water, make sure he doesn’t leave.” he tells you and you nod as he leaves, shutting the door behind him.

you turn to haechan. “you okay? sorry about eric, he can get a bit aggressive when he’s drunk.”

“you his girlfriend?”

“ex-girlfriend, i broke up with him.”

“oh. sorry.”

you sit down next to him.

“you’re not hurt?”

“not really, his punches were kinda weak.” you laugh, using one of the tissues by jenos nightstand to gently tap at the blood accumulating at the scrape below haechan’s eye, the soft part of his cheek slowly turning purple.

he hisses through his teeth when you accidentally tap too hard at the cut, causing for you to flinch backwards, his lips twisting into a smile.

you nearly miss him whisper the word ‘cute.’ under his breath.

nearly.

“sorry.” you say, but he only nods in reply.

it’s so quiet, so peaceful, but it’s not an awkward type of silence. you feel comfortable, and it’s odd despite the circumstances that you’re in. its all too easy.

you’re far too focused to notice the way that he’s looking at you.

“why are you helping me anyways?”

shit. you hadn’t thought this far.

“oh, i uh…”

the door bursts open, a confused mark walking through it as he scratches the back of his head, unknowingly saving you from your own idiocy.

“sorry man, couldn’t find any cups.”

haechan shakes his head, laughing.

“who’s this pink haired chick btw.”

“eric’s ex.”

“daangggggggggg.”

haechans face screws up in cringe and you laugh.

mark continues, facing back to haechan. “you wanna tell us what the fuck happened? i was talking to jaehyun and then 2 seconds later i hear you yelling at some guy.”

haechan shrugs, “i dunno man, he kept saying some shit about beating ncu at the tournament, i think he’s the captain of their esports team or something.”

suddenly a pang of guilt strikes through you.

eric had charged at haechan because of you, he promised he would beat ncu in the tournament and he meant it.

“fuck, im so sorry.” you speak up, mark and haechan turn to you in confusion. “my brothers on the team, eric told me earlier he’d try to beat ncu to get back at me.”

mark chimes in. “yooo your brothers on the team?” he thinks for a moment. “chenle?”

fuck, you’ve said too much.

haechan raises his brow. “your brothers chenle?”

“yeah.”

“so you must be yn.”

you nod, guessing he knows your name from word of mouth from other friends. haechan continues. “don’t worry, it’s not your fault. i was sort of being a dick to him anyways.”

“you’re a dick to everyone.” mark laughs and haechan gives him a look of disapproval.

you check the time on your phone and you suddenly remember the reason why you’re here: it’s your best friends birthday and he’s probably cursing your entire family as you speak.

“i really must go, ten will kill me if i make him wait any longer.” you get up to leave but haechan stands up, his hand finding your wrist to stop you.

you stay like that for a moment and you question as to whether you should say something.

but haechan beats you to it.

“can i get your number?”

[m.list] [next]

NOTES: if i had a nickel for every frat party fight scene ive put in my fics id have 2 nickels for some reason??? ive rly gotta stop doing this. anyways i wanted them meeting for the “first time” to be a written chapter so here’s that. hope u enjoyed! (sorry for a bit of a later update than promised, been a bit busy lol)

replies, likes and reblogs are all appreciated! feel free to send requests in my asks; scenes, chapters, characters etc.

TAGLIST - CLOSED - @lostinneocity @aek1ra @haechansleftshoulder @sunghoonsgfreal @cyjzzl @nanaxwi @neocrashed @candied-czennie @alethea-moon @vantxx95 @nerdsungie @morkiee @sthwaaberry @sunnystarred @p-d1ddy @starfilledgaze @markeroolee @polarisjisung @222brainrot @grassbutneo @minsugahh @daegalfangirl @injunnie-lemon @therealbobbyshloby @flwrs4marklee @chenlesfavorite @jirsungs @donghyucksslut @junviadinho @minkyuncutie @multifandomania @n0hyuck @yehet267 @nctrawberries @neogothyuckie @snoopyjimin @yewshi @theyluvfrankocean @nanamyh3art @i03jae @ckline35 @hyuoonp @galacticnct @haechology @lttlekomori @cutiebambi @tynlvr @sunflowerhae @joyzluvr @taeeflwrr

[koshkamartell]

Hello my loves.

This is it. The final chapter of No One But Me. I'm sorry it took so long to write; there was so much emotion and energy involved in this final part that it took longer than I expected. I hope you all enjoy it.

Thank you to my little group of faithful readers who have showed their support and love throughout this journey. I have appreciated all your comments and reblogs so much. It gives me alot of joy to hear that my story has been a source of joy and entertainment for someone.

I haven't added a warning list to this part in order to avoid spoilers. Please leave me your thoughts after you read.

The sound of the gunshot reverberated throughout the clearing surrounding the cabin, stirring birds to flee from the forest treetops with the loud flapping of their wings. You only managed to run a few yards from the porch before the gunfire caused you to come to a halt.

Your boots skid in the icy snow as you whip around in search of where the shot was fired from. Your eyes scan the surrounding woodland for any shapes or movement between the trees. You imagine a man - another raider - just as tall and ugly as Lyle, stalking through the forest clutching a hunting rifle, on his way to kill you. The thought drives a spike of fear through your guts and makes your full bladder ache.

You search around, vigilant and alert, subconsciouly holding your breath in your lungs. You pause and wait, trying in vain to keep your body from shaking. You wait for but nothing happens. No sign of danger presents itself, neither in the form of an infected or an unknown, ominous figure holding a gun.

You inhale a gulping breath of the bitterly cold winter air and a visible puff of cloud escapes your lips when you exhale.

Was it Joel who fired the shot? He must be absolutely livid with you, crazed with fury at your repeated insolence, your second attempt at escape in less than two days. He must have fired a warning shot when he saw you had gone, as there's no way Joel would miss a target, not with all his weaponry prowess.

You look back to the cabin now, your whole body still shivering with fear, expecting to see Joel standing on the porch brandishing a gun in his large blood covered hands. But Joel is not there.

Your eyes then fall upon the figure laying on the ground.

You had been so startled by the sound of the gun shot that you hadn't realised Oscar was not next to you. Your stomach sinks when you see that Oscar had not made it as far as you; he had fallen to his knees just a few steps from the cabin.

"Oscar!" You shriek with panic. Your own voice sounds muffled as your heart beat continues to thrum inside your head and inbetween your ears. You pace back to meet him, gasping in sharp breathes of the cold morning air as your legs work to carry your exhausted body.

You drop to the ground infront of Oscar and bring your trembling hands up to cradle his face, the stubble along his jaw pricking your palms. His skin feels cool to the touch and beads of sweat are dotted across his forehead. "What happened? Oscar, what is it?"

His eyes screw shut and his eyebrows knit together in a grimace of pain. He sucks a sharp breath of air through his clenched teeth. "I...I gotta lay down."

"O-Okay," you murmer. Oscar plants a hand on the ground behind him and begins to recline back. You splay one of your hands against the middle of back, your other still holding the side of his face. "Let me help you, go slow."

Oscar tries to shift his legs out infront of him but his limbs move too quickly, as though they are uncoordinated and weak; he plops down onto his backside with a thud, hissing with pain at the way his body jostles. You coo sympathetically and urge him once again to take it slow. He grunts and lays down flat on his back, pressing a hand to his lower abdomen.

You notice the motion straight away. "What happened to your stomach?"

Oscar gives a slight shake of his head but doesn't open his eyes or say anything. You slide your hand down from his face to where he clutches his stomach. You curl your fingers gingerly around his and try to gently pry them away from the area. At first he resists, but after you whisper a tearful please he relents and uncovers the spot. You gasp when you see that his whole palm is covered in blood.

Oh my god oh my god oh no

There's a ragged hole at the bottom of his jacket. You quickly fumble for the zip and yank it downwards, sweeping the panels to the side of his torso. Oscar allows you to do so without protest, his eyes still tightly closed, clearly battling against the internal agony that has been afflicted upon his body. You grab the bottom of his sweater and hurriedly tug it upward. You are desperate to see the hurt hidden underneath his clothes, desperate to see just how bad the damage is.

When you find the source of his pain, you cannot contain the strangled cry that claws its way up your throat, raw and ugly. There's a small round black hole etched into the left side of his lower belly, just above his hip. It is a clean cut bullet wound with the flesh around it still firm. A thick pool of deep red blood puddles inside it, overflowing into a trickle that spills down to his groin.

It's a gunshot wound. When had he been shot?

"How?" You whisper brokenly, tears springing to your eyes. You grab hold of his bloody hand and squeeze it, wanting to reassure him of your presence, that you're still right next to him.

Why don't you remember?

Everything leading up to this moment is a blur within your memory. You don't have the capacity to realise just why, though. You don't know that while trapped within the chaos inside the cabin, your conscious had been overridden by your will to survive. You don't know you had dissociated, brain detaching from a reality you couldn't cope with. You hadn't remembered Lyle shooting Oscar because your mind was protecting you.

Oscar groans and squeezes your hand in his shaking one. "W-w...what can I do?" You stroke his forehead tenderly. "How do I stop the bleeding?"

"I'm okay, honey," he mumbles, his beautiful dark eyes flickering open to stare up at you. His little round glasses sit crookedly on his face and you gingerly fix them to perch straight on his nose. He offers you a weak smile in return. "Just...just stay right here."

"I'm here," you promise him, stroking over the curls on his temple. "I'm here."

The sound of a gun firing stops Joel's fist from connecting another gruelling punch to the raider's already gruesome face. It is like he's being snapped out of a trance, suddenly propelled from a hellish nightmare back to reality. His vision blurs as he struggles to focus on the scene before him, and it takes several seconds for him to remember just what had transpired within the last ten minutes.

Joel glances down at his hand curled tight into a fist. It's completely coated in blood, and although his knuckles are raw and stinging, he knows the blood doesn't belong to him. His eyes descend to the lifeless body laying underneath his straddling thighs. He sees the grisly wreck of the man's head and it prompts a wave of nausea to lurch in his stomach. He has to quickly swallow the bile that rises in his throat, the bitter acid burning his oesophagus.

Joel can't remember the last time he lost control like this. Maybe a long while before he started living in Jackson. It must have been, for Joel had to learn to hold back on dishing out beatings when he arrived in town. Despite wanting nothing more than to slap the shit out of some of the insubordinate young men around the town, he had quelled his temper with all his might for the sake of Ellie. He had masked so much of himself, of his true nature, all for their chance to carve out a decent life together in the safe community.

But that savage beast of wrath had lain dormant inside him for all this time, waiting for a reason to rear its barbaric head and fight. There had never been a legitimate reason for this vicious part of Joel to show itself while they lived in the haven of Jackson. But then again, nothing had evoked such an intense fury inside him as when the raider threatened your life right infront of him.

You.

His mind panics instantly, your name falling from his chapped lips with an edge of desperation. His head jerks around to where you were left beside the bed. You're gone, the leftover rope hanging limply from the bed frame, the ends frayed. A pocket knife lays on the floorboards where you were sat, its blunt looking blade glinting against the lone ray of sunshine pouring in through the window.

Estrada, the mother fucking prick. Did he really come all this way to get you? And you're gone, but who fired that shot? Are there more raiders out there? That pussy can't keep you safe. He needs to get out there and get you right now.

Joel shoves himself off of the raider's body and staggers to stand up. The bones in his back crack as he straightens upright. His whole body is an aching fucking mess but he refuses to think about pain. He can't. He's got to find you.

He grabs Lyle's gun off the floor and then hastily pulls on his boots, ignoring the blood his smears on every surface he touches. He storms out the bedroom to the front door, his footfalls striking heavily against the floorboards with each purposeful, formidable step. You can't have gone far; Joel knows you can't ride a horse and he's pretty sure the raider shot Estrada, so he's willing to bet you're still in a quarter mile radius.

Fuckin' Estrada. He'll blast the useless son of a bitch to pieces. He'll make you watch, force you to see how no one will ever come between you and he. Finally get it through that head of yours that you only belong with him.

Joel stalks out through the front door, resolution and determination catapulting him forth on his long legs. He's going to have to do something a little more drastic, he thinks, in order to cement his ownership over you, so you and everybody else in this world can see you're his, that you can't run away. Maybe a fucking brand on your skin.

Joel's boots only just meet the snow before he abruptly halts at the fringe of the cabin deck. It turns out you didn't even get past the boundary of the clearing, didn't even get 20 feet from the cabin. Instead you're here kneeling on the ground, Oscar laying down beside you on his back, his head in your lap. It appears intimate, a private moment he has stumbled upon, and it makes his stomach twist with burning possessiveness. He scowls, flexing his hand around the grip of the pistol, the raider's blood already drying and crusting over the broken skin of his knuckles.

Joel calls your name, his raspy voice loud and harsh, cutting through the air like a master commanding his dog. Your head snaps back to face him instantly; wisps of hair cling to your tear stained cheeks, your eyes wide with distress, your nose tinged pink from the cold air and all the crying you've done. You stay kneeling and Oscar remains on his back, which somehow pisses him off even more.

What the hell is going on? And where'd that gun shot come from?

"Goddamn it," Joel growls. He stomps over to you, jaw clenching and unclenching. He's going to drag you back inside by your hair after he kills Oscar. He'll strip you of your clothes and smack your ass until it's black and blue. His anger is palpable, radiating from him like a furnace, and the terror on your face amplifies with every determined step he takes.

"Joel, please," you plead, "don't touch him!"

"Get up and go back inside, right now!" Joel snarls. He'll do as he damn well pleases, and if that includes beating the shit out of Estrada like he did the raider, then so be it.

Joel bends down to grab you by your collar but your hand shoots up and grips around his wrist, your fingernails sinking into his skin. Your red rimmed eyes stare up at him, frantic and imploring.

"Joel, wait, listen to me!" You gasp shrilly. "He's hurt! Look!"

Joel's gaze falls down past your face to where Oscar lays beneath you. He's startled by the change in Oscar's appearance, so unexpected and pitiful that it actually dampens the anger and jealousy seething from his core.

He watches Oscar stare up at you and Joel, brows pulled together in a pain filled wince, a dull quality to his brown orbs. His pallid skin has a waxy sheen to it and there is a blueish tint to his trembling lips. His breaths come out in long stuttering gasps. Joel's eyes trail down to where Oscar's shirt in bunched in your hand and he sees the bloody hole sitting at the bottom of his belly.

You are right. He's hurt. The raider did shoot him.

"Joel, what d-do we do?" You sniffle, tightening your grasp around his wrist. "How do we treat it?"

The internal damage is difficult to assess, but judging from the location of the wound and how Oscar currently looks, the bullet has likely hit some organs, Joel silently deduces. It's dire, and with how Oscar's shivering right now he's not sure how long the man will survive for. Joel has seen his fair share of people die from all different kinds of ailments and wounds. He knows the signs well.

His gaze shifts back to you, jaw ticking as he deliberates his answer. You look so hopeless, so desperate for some kind of confirmation that you can actually do something to remedy the situation. It isn't your fault you're so naive, he reminds himself, and being kind is just part of your nature, so ofcourse you care. Ofcourse you care that Estrada is currently bleeding out in your arms. But God, does he fucking hate that you still care so much about this prick.

"Can't do much for a gunshot wound," Joel delivers the words matter of factly. "Not without all the surgical stuff in Jackson."

"What?" You whisper, your face contorting with disbelieving anguish. You relinquish your hold on his wrist as if the touch of his skin has become too uncomfortable to bear. "No, no. Surely there's something we can do now. We can get the bullet out, right?"

Joel tucks the gun in his pocket and descends down on one knee beside you. He avoids Oscar's eyes, instead training his gaze on the pool of blood seeping inside the wound on Oscar's lower abdomen. He can't soften the blow. It's not that he wants to purposely be cruel, but there's no use lying to you. He scratches the side of his cheek and sighs heavily.

"It's deep," Joel clarifies softly. "Not sure if the bullet hit an organ, but it looks likely. Can't do nothin' for it."

You chew on your bottom lip for a moment, contemplating his words, and then your eyes suddenly light up with childlike hope. "Let's go back to Jackson," you blurt out. "Dr. Amber can do it, we can go now."

Joel pins his gaze back to you, keeping his face impassive. He's never seen you like this before - so naive and deluded with optimism, denying the obvious reality of the situation. His heart unexpectedly aches for you.

"It's too far," Joel whispers, schooling his tone to be firm but not unkind. "By the time we get there...he won't make it."

"But we've got to try! Or, or maybe we can get the bullet out ourselves," you ramble in desperation.

He sighs, trying hard to not let his impatience overtake his already limited empathy for your feelings. He places his hand on your shoulder, a sympathetic attempt to ground you, for he takes no pleasure in your current state of misery. "Just told you, we can't do much. Where he got hit...it's too...it's just about impossible..."

Your brows saddle together in defeated despair and you shake your head, fresh tears pooling at your waterline. There's a hint of emotion in your face, dancing within your watery irises and on the curl of your mouth, something that he cannot quite place; amidst the clear pain and grief is something firey, almost wild. Like hatred. Resentment. Blame.

A croak comes from Oscar, prompting you to turn back and dip your head down to his. He's trying to talk but his voice is so muted that Joel cannot hear a word of what he's saying to you. You let out a small whimper and seem to whisper back a reply. The private moment between you two resumes, a confidential bubble that makes Joel feel like an outsider, pathetic and excluded. He clocks the way Oscar's hand clutches yours, the delicate brush of his thumb over yours, and he can't help the envious irritation that rears inside his chest once again, searing hot and bordering on painful.

Joel clears his throat and speaks your name to garner your attention. "Don't know where that gunshot came from. Could be more raiders just around the corner. We gotta go back inside."

You jerk your head back to face Joel again, your features twisted into a glare, distrust and scorn evident in your eyes. "I'm not leaving him," you state defiantly.

"It ain't safe here," Joel bites back. "That shot was close by and it ain't gonna take long for whoever it was to find us."

"I don't care!" You spit out harshly. "You go."

Joel feels as though he has been slapped. How dare you defy him like this? He's trying to protect you, to keep you safe from the potential threat of another raider, yet instead of obeying him you're openly challenging him.

No, there's no way he's leaving you behind with Estrada while the poor fuck bleeds out.

Joel scowls, jaw clenched tight, and leans his head close to yours so that you are forced to look at him. You reflexively flinch away but keep your stare locked on his, bold and obstinate.

"Get up." He orders, voice low and loaded with danger. "'Fore we get killed."

"No!" You argue. Joel glares back at you, harsh breaths huffing through his nostrils. His jaw ticks once, then in one sudden move he's grabbing your arm and roughly hoisting you up on your feet. You squeal and yell at him but he just drags you away from Oscar like a predatory animal lugging its prey toward death, overpowering and tyrannical.

He drags you several yards but stops abruptly when another gunshot suddenly blasts through the air, loud and resonant, unmistakeably closer this time. A mixture of other noises soon follow it, carried along the wind that rushes through the trees, sounds that quickly become more and more clear with each passing second.

Men's voices.

Horse hooves galloping.

Dogs barking.

And then a prominent voice calls out, masculine and commanding.

"Joel!"

Joel's blood runs cold. He knows that voice; he knows it better than anybody else still alive in this world, and to hear it right now makes his stomach churn with anxiety and resentment. He slowly twists his torso around, keeping his grip on your arm tight.

There, at the edge of the small clearing by the south-west woodland, is Tommy. Joel swears under his breath. He is pertrubed at the unexpected sight of his younger brother. Did he really travel all the way from Jackson to track you and Joel down? He's made it all this way out here, and by the sounds of it he has a fucking rescue team with him close by.

Tommy trudges through the snow with a gait almost identical to Joel's, his barrel chest heaving. The expression on his face is one of profound sadness and grave concern, a look that Joel knows well; Tommy was always the more self righteous brother, the bleeding heart, able to make Joel feel criticised and condemned with just a single look.

Joel stays standing where he is, his hand still tightly gripping yours while he keeps his eyes locked on his brother. Tommy closes the gap between you in a series of long, laboured strides, his warm breath conjuring puffs of visible cloud from his lips.

"Jesus, Joel, what did you do?" Tommy rasps in panicked disbelief when he catches sight of Oscar's prone form. "Oh fuck, please don't tell me you killed Oscar."

"I didn't touch him," Joel sneers. "And he ain't dead. We got ambushed by a raider but I took care'a him."

"Oscar's hurt, Tommy," you interject, taking a step forward to try join him. "We need to get him help."

Joel shoots you a disapprovingly glare before he clears his throat and gestures vaguely in Oscar's direction. "He got shot - by the raider, not by me."

Tommy drops down on one knee besides Oscar, hovering his hands over the man's body uncertainly. "Fuck," Tommy whispers as his doleful eyes survey the grievous state of Oscar's belly and the bullet wound. He leans down and brings his gloved hand up to carefully cup Oscar's cheek in his palm. "Hey, Oscar, buddy, can you hear me?"

Oscar blinks slowly up at Tommy and hums softly. "Hey, Tom," he manages to croak out. "Yeah....I can hear you."

"Got yourself in a bit of trouble, looks like," Tommy murmers, trying his best to sound light-hearted. "But don't worry, I'm gonna get you back to town and we'll get you fixed right up."

"I'm dying, Tom," Oscar whispers. Tommy sniffs sadly and shakes his head, melancholic denial swimming in his eyes as he stares down at his friend.

"No you ain't," Tommy whispers back, his voice faltering.

"It's okay...," Oscar coos, "just get her back...please, take her back home. Promise me you will."

You can't hear the hushed conversation between Tommy and Oscar, no matter how hard you strain to listen. You wish you could drop to your knees beside Tommy and be a part of what's going on, to hear Oscar's soothing voice assure you that he will be okay, that it isn't as bad as it looks.

But you can't. Your freezing hand is still enveloped in Joel's possessive clutch, anchoring you to the stop next to him. He isn't interested in watching the interaction between his brother and his rival. He keeps a vigilant watch on the woods around you all, slowly turning his head left and right to scan each direction, no doubt still on guard for any possible raiders or infected.

When Tommy eventually rises from the ground and drags his feet back to you and Joel, your heart skips a beat. You wish Tommy would smile at you and confirm that the wound actually isn't that deep, that your dear Oscar will be able to return to Jackson and get stitched up and everything will turn out alright. You peer up at him, expectant and hopeful, but Tommy's morose expression just about crushes any scrap of optimism left in your weary heart. He comes close to you and takes your free hand in his and gives it a gentle squeeze, totally ignoring Joel beside you.

"Sweetheart," Tommy sighs, "I ain't gonna lie to you. He isn't lookin' good...I don't know....you needa talk with him."

"Why?" Joel cuts in, pulling you back from Tommy and cutting the physical contact between you.

"For God's sake, Joel!" Tommy explodes with exasperation, curling his hands into fists. "You know why! Give her that atleast!"

"Bleedin' heart 'til the day you die, huh Tom?" Joel mocks bitterly, glaring at his brother. Tommy meets his gaze head on, unflinching and firm.

"Doin' what's right, Joel," Tommy replies tightly. "It's time you did, too."

You look between the two of them, too overcome with dizzying emotion and fatigue from the trauma you've endured to properly comprehend the gravity of what's being said. You're fighting to stand on your feet and all you want to do is lay down with Oscar.

"Fine, let's get this over and done with," Joel huffs, releasing your hand. Sensing how you're feeling, Tommy wraps his arm around your back and gently guides you to Oscar, carefully helping you to sit down in the snow.

Your hand automatically slips into Oscar's to give it a delicate and comforting squeeze. He looks even more pale and you notice the way his stomach barely rises and falls with his short, shallow breaths. You bring your other hand up to brush back a curled lock of his hair that sticks to his forehead.

His skin feels so cold.

"Honey," his silky voice husks from between his blue lips. There is a film of tears swimming within his eyes as he stares up at you but his gaze seems more sharp, more focused. You feel as though he's looking right into your soul, his love and adoration piercing directly through your heart, and in this moment you're completely overcome with the intensity of your own love for him.

Oscar is so beautiful, so pure. He came to save you. He risked his own life to rescue you, your own knight in shining armour, and now he lays here wounded and bleeding out. The guilt slices into you sharp and searing, you burst into a sob, lowering your head to his chest. "I'm sorry," you weep. "I'm so sorry."

"Shhh, honey," Oscar rasps, slowly raising his hand up to stroke your hair. "It's okay."

Joel growls and moves to grab you and intervene but Tommy is quick to block him. Tommy stands inbetween you and Joel and grips his shoulders firmly. "Back off," he commands sternly.

Joel rips his little brother's hands off him and huffs angrily. "Go fuck yourself Tommy," he rumbles. Despite his hatred for what's happening, Joel turns away and retreats a few paces, unable to bear watching the scene. Tommy follows him, allowing you privacy; neither can hear what is whispered between you and Oscar.

Your nose drips from the cold, intermingling with the tears leaking from your eyes. Oscar's hand swipes the hair from your face as he continues to sshhh you gently.

"I love you," you hear his voice purr from within his sternum. "Always...have."

You lift your head to gaze at him, your face inches from his. His brown eyes project the same palpable sincerity that he has always embodied, even amidst the depth of his suffering. There is a tranquil kind of energy swirling within in his irises that you can't quite work out the reason for.

"Always will..." Oscar whispers, slowly tucking a tangled strand of hair behind your ear with an air of reverence.

"I love you too," you mumble through tears. And you do. You truly love him. "I want to go back with you, wanna go back home with you, Oscar." And you do, more than anything else in the world, so much so that your desperation blinds you to the painful reality of Oscar's predicament.

"I can't." Oscar admits in a breathless whisper. "Elvie is waiting for me..."

Elvie? You're confused for a second until your brain kicks into gear. Elvie. The realisation of what Oscar means lands a punch right in the middle of your guts and a strangle gasp falls from your lips. You bring your face to cradle Oscar's cheeks and you lean down to place a kiss on his soft, wind chapped lips.

"Please...." you whisper against his lips, a tear rolling down your cheek and falling to land onto the hollow of his throat. "Don't go..."

He breathes your name ever so delicately. "I love you...."

And then, like a flickering flame of a candle being extinguished in the breeze, the last breath within Oscar's lungs drifts from his mouth and his soul slips away from his body.

A ragged scream rips from your throat, full of anguish and sorrow. It startles Tommy and Joel and they both whirl around to where you kneel on the ground by Oscar. You are slumped over his dead body, forehead pressed to his chest and your balled fists clinging to his clothes.

Tommy hastily springs back to you and crouches down to bracket your shoulders with his hands. He understands the reason got your distress immediately. "Oh, sweetheart," he croons sympathetically. He slips his arm across your clavicle and carefully pulls you into him. "I'm sorry."

You lean back into his chest and let out a howl of anguish. Joel thinks it is just about the most tragic sound he has ever heard. He stands back and watches the scene with the the corners of his mouth downturned in somber silence.

The magnitude of sorrow you express spurns something inside of him that makes his stomach clench and his breath hitch in his throat. When the initial shock dissipates he is left with a severe ache in his chest cavity that threatens to bring him to his knees. The realisation of why comes

Your grief reflects his own.

It reminds him of the day when his world was torn apart, when he had lost the most important thing in his life.

Except the reason for your grief isn't an inescapable cordycep apocalypse; it is Joel himself. He may not have fired the bullet that fatally wounded Oscar but it was the consequences of his actions that led to the man's demise. Joel shakes his head to himself, trying to dislodge the thought from his mind. No, he thinks, it isn't my fault. It isn't.

He bows his head and stares at his boots, unable to face the sight of your despair any longer. You wail and bawl for what seems like forever. Tommy keeps you close to him and murmers an occasional hushed I'm so sorry. It continues until you can produce no more your tears and your body lurches with exhausted dry retches. Your cheeks are puffy and splotchy, the rims of your eyes red and swollen.

A long time passes before Tommy manages to persuade you to stand up. He hauls you up and keeps you tightly supported you against his body. You cling blindly to his jacket and nuzzle your face into his chest, finding a small degree of comfort in his warmth and kind commiseration. Another blurred period of time elapses where you allow Tommy to hold you and a quiet falls over the three of you.

Joel doesn't look up until he hears your voice address him, hoarse yet full of venom. He lifts his head and sees you staring at him, your face twisted into a wretched mask of heartache and wrath.

"You," you hiss accusingly, "it's because of you!"

Joel frowns at you and shakes his head, unable to formulate words in a response. He's totally bewildered by your anger.

"You brought me out here! You forced me here and Oscar came to save me!" You snarl. "He would still be alive if you hadn't!"

You struggle against Tommy and he loosens his hold on you. You launch yourself at Joel, half stumbling into him, your fists beating against his chest with all the strength you can muster. Joel's hands cup your elbows so you don't fall over but he does nothing to stop you from unleashing your anger. He let's you punch his chest and slap his face, the impact of your hands leaving no more than a light sting on his cheeks.

He could easily subdue you with nothing more than a solid shove or a quick slap but he doesn't. He stands still, patiently accepting your punishment, waiting until you eventually tire and end up collapsing against his front. You heave and sob with despair, fragile body wracking with the force of your cries, and Joel carefully wraps his arms around you and presses you firmly into him.

"'M sorry," Joel whispers truthfully. And he is. He's sorry that you're heart broken.

"You aren't," you sputter, "you've never been sorry, you don't care!"

You struggle to escape his embrace but he holds you tighter. "I am," he asserts firmly.

You screech and thrash, incensed with anger at the way he seems to lie so easily. "He's dead because of you!"

Joel relinquishes his hold on you just enough to pull you back to look at your face. He is momentarily disturbed by the way your eyes smoulder with hatred and disgust, but he presses on, determined to make his point.

"He's dead because of that raider, not me," Joel argues, "and it was me who killed that son of a bitch."

You shake your head vehemently, detestation written clearly on your face. "That raider could have killed us all! He was going to hurt me and you did nothing! Oscar saved me from that raider, not you!"

Shame heats the back of Joel's neck. He cannot deny that the raider was going to do unspeakable things to you and that he had basically offered you up to the man while he tried to formulate a strategy. It both shames and emasculates him that it was infact Oscar who saved you both from the raider. Joel may have beaten Lyle to death, but it was only because of Oscar that he was able to do so.

He feels like he has failed you.

Just as he failed Sarah. Just as he failed Tess.

"I was gonna---"

"I don't care!" You yell, flinging yourself backward to escape his grasp, but Joel just tightens his hands on your shoulders to keep you close.

Joel has to battle the deeply ingrained instincts that urge him to slap the shit out of you to shut you up. He allows you to be angry and sad, to unleash the emotions you are rightfully experiencing right now, but his patience is wearing thin. He's also aware that Tommy still stands just a few yards away, so he needs to placate you enough to keep control of his temper and to somehow get you alone.

He narrows his eyes and rubs soothing circles over your shoulders with his thumbs. "Let's go back inside the cabin," he drops his voice low in an effort to mollify. "Talk about this when you've calmed down some."

"Talk about what, Joel?" You spit out, fresh angry tears trickling down your cold cheeks. "About how you got Oscar killed? About how you raped me and beat me and then kidnapped me?"

"Christ almighty, Joel!" Tommy exclaims, shaking his head and staring in disbelief at his brother. "Is....is that true? You...you did those things to her?"

Joel doesn't acknowledge his brother; he's so intently focused on you that he can hardly register Tommy's voice. All that matters is you and making you stay with here with him.

"I said I was sorry," Joel swallows the lump in his throat. "I tried, I tried so hard to do right by you. I brought us here so we could start a new life. So you could forgive me."

"What you did to me, Joel...," you whisper, your voice laced with embittered sadness. "That's different. But Oscar....he died because of what you did. And I won't ever forgive you for that."

"But I love you," he murmers, his voice becoming husky with emotion and his eyes blurring with tears. "I didn't...I love you."

"And I loved you once, too, Joel, but how could I after what you've done?" You shove at his chest to punctuate your point. "I hate you!"

The impassioned vigour in your tone and your words cuts through Joel's heart like a knife. It reminds him of Ellie, how angry and betrayed she looked just a few nights ago. He knows you're stupefied with emotion right now, too wrapped up in misery to properly think or follow his commands. But he also knows you aren't lying.

You do hate him.

Just as Ellie does.

The truth fucking crushes his heart into fragments.

Joel's face crumples and he stares at you with crestfallen dismay. His hands release you and he takes a staggering step backward. You stare him down like a feral cat ready to fight, your shoulders raised and your nostrils flared. Tommy steps forward to intervene in the face-off, standing half infront of you.

"Joel...It's over. Let her go," Tommy commands softly, almost pleadingly. "I'm takin' her back to Jackson. I gotta rescue team just over the clearing there."

Joel faces his brother with tears brimming at his lashline. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" Joel hisses angrily. "This ain't any of your business, Tommy! I don't give a fuck who you got waitin' in the wings!"

"She doesn't wanna be with you," Tommy emphasises, his voice measured and stern. "And you're my brother, Joel, so this is my fuckin' business. I ain't about to let this girl or anybody else get hurt because of you."

"I love her, okay? I fuckin' love her, Tommy," Joel confesses brokenly. "I'll do anythin' to keep her."

"You hurt her, Joel. Jesus, you ra....you...," Tommy has to stop himself from choking on the weighted words that seem lodged inside his throat. He runs a hand through his black curls and shakes his head as he collects himself. "That ain't love."

Your fingertips curl around Tommy's bicep, prompting him to stop from saying anything more. Like a hawk, Joel observes the movement and watches with bated breath as you step out from behind Tommy. He sees that you are no longer crying and that you no longer look angry. Instead, you now look composed. Bold. You stand upright, your body radiating self assuredness, chin tilted upward to meet Joel's eyes head on.

The last time he had witnessed you like this was the time you confronted him about raping you. He sees the same stoicism in your face now - and he can see just how deadly serious you are.

"If you really loved me, you'd let me go," you speak up, your tone smooth and placid despite the challenging significance of your words.

"No," Joel croaks out. His brown eyes, large and glassy, swimming with tears as he gazes at you. "I need you. I need you with me, here."

"I can't stay here, Joel," you say softly. "I can't stay with you."

"I-I can't let you go," he rasps desperately. "You're mine, baby. I can't be without you."

"I've got nothing left to give you, Joel." You shrug with blunt weariness. "You've taken everything from me."

Warm rivulets of tears begin to trickle from Joel's eyes and he sniffs. "I'll give you whatever you need, I'll...I'll make it up to you. Just....please."

You watch him intently, your chin raised with stoic determination, unmoved by his show of emotion. "It's too late."

"No," he pleads, taking a step closer to you. "No, it ain't. It ain't too late."

"I spent too much time letting myself be hurt and unhappy. People like Oscar, like my parents...they don't have the chance to start over. They don't get to try. And I owe it to them to keep going. I owe it to them to be happy."

"You can be happy. You can be happy with me," Joel asserts, his voice wavering with heartache. He reaches out to touch you but you take a step backward. You shake your head gently, your gaze never leaving his.

"No, I can't. You need to control me, Joel - you need to hurt me. How can I be happy like that?"

Joel opens his mouth to speak but no words come. He is at a loss for what to say. He cannot argue against the points you make as they are true - he does need to control you, he does need to hurt you. As much as he could try justifying it as expressions of love and care, it is still the confronting truth of your relationship. He is defeated.

He stays silent for a minute, then forces out a quiet mumble, "give me another chance. Please."

"No, Joel. I won't let you take the chance of happiness away from me," you respond matter of factly. "I'm going back to Jackson with Tommy. Goodbye, Joel."

You turn back and walk over to Tommy, where he stands looking at his older brother with concerned sympathy. He knows Joel won't return to town, knows it would be impossible for him to integrate back into society in a place where his foster daughter and the woman he loves will be absent from his life.

Tommy slings his arm tightly around your shoulders and gingerly guides you away from where you stand. You give Joel once last fleeting look before you turn away and begin moving your feet to follow Tommy.

Joel watches you both trudge through the snow toward the clearing at the edge of the forest. He stands frozen in place, paralysed by the internal dialogue raging within his mind.

She's leaving.

I can't stop her.

She has to go.

She hates me.

She doesn't love me.

This is the right thing to do.

Joel shields his eyes with his hand, unable to bear the sight of you walking out of his life. He hangs his head and heaves out a weighted, heartbroken sigh. The constrain on his emotions quickly cracks and soon he begins to weep. Fat tears pour from his eyes and roll down the bridge of his nose. His weeping escalates into mournful cries that make his shoulders shake and his stomach churn, and he feels his heart squeeze so painfully that he thinks he's on the verge of a heart attack.

He cries now more than he has cried for the last 20 years. Not since the day Sarah died has he cried so much. The repressed emotion he has been habouring throughout all these years is set free and laid bare, and he allows himself to finally feel it all; the heartbreak for his daughter, Sarah, the undying unconditional love for Ellie, and the everlasting yearning for you.

Joel's legs buckle and he collapses onto the snow on his knees. The ice stings the sliced skin on his bare hands but he isn't even cognisant of the pain. All he can perceive is the devastating emptiness now residing within his soul; all that is left now are memories and nightmares, and the agonising regret and grief of losing you.

tag list- @sofiparallel @harriedandharassed @kewwrites @romanarose @fan-fiction-floozy @anoverwhelmingdin @unknownsuser101 @shesarealcarpentersdream @sheeeeeppp-blog @uncassettodiricordi @axshadows @puduvallee @gossipgirl-03 @oldenoughtoknowbetter @mandoloriancookie @missannfairy @bean-security @missannwinchester @mrszdjarin

[birthfan]

Important meeting

Claire had always been a career focused woman; whenever she had to make a choice and the alternative was work related she wouldn't even think twice about it, that's how she lost her husband, he couldn't deal with her ignoring him in favour of another meeting or work event, so he left, but not before leaving Claire a little gift.

"Huuu will you two settle down" the woman scolded the twins in her belly as if they could actually hear her, Claire sighed as she rubbed it to help soothe the discomfort, it had been 8 months since her husband left and 7 since she realised she was pregnant.

Her due date was a week ago but unfortunately the babies decided they had to stay in a little longer, Claire was sick of being pregnant, she couldn't wait to have them out of her so that at work everything could go back to normal, she hated all the extra attention people gave her, always asking if she was fine or if she needed anything, god it was soo annoying.

When they gave her the opportunity for maternity leave she immediately shut that down, she wouldn't let something as trivial as babies growing in her from stopping her from pursuing her career, she intended to work till she had to push them out.

Claire grunted as she felt a tightening sensation over her belly "hnnng you fuckers better stay in there till tomorrow evening, huu I can't miss the meeting"; the board of directors had been considering various employees to join them, Claire was one of them, and tomorrow she would have to be there at all costs.

The brunette undressed and prepared for bed, she wanted to go to sleep early tonight so she could be in her best form, her massive belly kept feeling weird but she gave it no mind just attributing to the twins being active, as she laid in bed rubbing her belly she slowly began to feel herself drift off into sleep.

A strong feeling of tightness in her belly woke Claire up "hnnng fuuuck" she groaned as she sat up on her bed, that was definitely a contraction. As she rubbed her belly she saw that her alarm had already gone off "Shit!! Gotta get ready" she exclaimed as she got up as quickly as she could.

As Claire dressed herself she felt another contraction hit her, it had been less than ten minutes since the last one. There was no doubt about it, she was definitely in labour "hmmm you fuckers won't make me miss this meeting".

Claire rushed down the stairs clutching her labouring belly as she checked the time "alright mmnng should still be able to catch the last bus" she said to herself. As she exited her apartment complex she quickly ran towards the bus stop, just barely making it.

Thankfully her office was only two stops away so in about ten minutes she made it, and she had only two contractions during the ride. She rushed towards the elevator and pressed the button, and as soon as she reached her floor she bolted towards her desk.

Claire panted both from exhaustion and from the pain of her labour as she leaned over her desk. "Hooo hooo mnnnnng fuck, y-you little shits better stay in there" she whispered to her babies as she clutched her belly.

"Hey hey look who made it" Claire turned around to see Jane a colleague and professional annoyance. The pregnant lady scoffed as she sat down on her chair it barely holding her weight as the annoying woman leaned on the entrance to her cubicle.

"You were taking so long I thought you'd popped and had to skip the meeting" Jane said feigning disinterest, Claire waved her away as her other hand rubbed her belly "in your dreams Jane, I'm getting that position no matter what".

Jane chuckled "we'll see mama, we'll see, the meeting is in an hour, hope your baby can wait that long" "babies!" Claire corrected her as her colleague went back to her own cubicle. God she hated that woman, always trying to one up her and sucking up to the bosses, she was insufferable.

Claire tried to distract herself by working as she waited for the meeting to start, the hour felt endless as her contractions were getting stronger and closer together. It was now only fifteen minutes until the meeting, she decided to go to the bathroom so that she wouldn't need to leave the room later.

As Claire waddled towards the bathroom she felt a growing pressure inside of her, but she tried to ignore it. As she sat down on the toilet and unzipped her pencil skirt she felt her strongest contraction yet causing a pained whimper to escape her lips, immediately after she felt fluids gush out of her womanhood soaking her underwear "fuck! No no no not now" she cried out as she felt an increase in pressure.

Claire breathed deeply as she tried to calm herself "hooo hooo, I don't need to freak out, I might still have time" she whispered to herself before standing back up. Fortunately since she had removed her skirt it was dry and clean, but unfortunately her panties were drenched and smelled of birth fluids, so she quickly flushed them down the toilet before heading out of the bathroom.

As Claire went out into the hallway she saw Jane and some of her other colleagues head towards the meeting room, it was time. Everyone entered the room as their bosses pointed them towards their seats.

Claire sat down she heard Mr Smith their local manager start speaking "alright everyone seems to be here. So as you all know we will be reviewing your presentations on how to improve our company's earnings for our next fiscal year. We've decided to review them in alphabetical order."

Claire silently cursed, god of course, why did her last name have to be Zumperly. But before she could even finish her thought condemning the order of the alphabet a contraction hit her causing her to clench her teeth, she needed to push.

Maybe if she just gave a small push it would help relieve the pressure, so as soon as everyone was distracted she gave a small weak push "mnn" a small whimper escaped her lips as she tried her best to not scream from the pain.

As Claire let out small breaths to regain energy she noticed that the person sat in front of her was Jane, who was thankfully busy rereading her notes as her first colleague showed their presentation. She hoped Jane wouldn't be a problem as she was the one right before her, but at least for now she was too worried with her presentation.

"Typical, she has to reread everything at the last minute" Claire thought to herself right before another contraction caused her to wince. Her first baby's head was pressing against her cervix and the need to push was unbearable, but she bit her lip and tried her best not to push "hmm".

The small moan escaping the labouring woman's lips caused Jane to perk up her head to see her rival struggling "oh fuck is she in labour?" She thought to herself as Claire breathed out and went back to pretending to listen to her colleagues' presentation, she wouldn't be surprised if she'd give birth right here, she had always put work before everything else.

As Claire's boss called the next person she felt something poke at her shin, she looked in front of her to see Jane writing something on a piece of paper and sliding it towards her. It read "are you having your baby right now? You know I was joking earlier" Claire scoffed and wrote her answer on the piece of paper and slid it back to Jane.

The woman opened the piece of paper to read "none of your business". "Of course she'd say that if she was in labour" she thought to herself as she wrote on another piece of paper. As Jane wrote she heard a whimper coming from Claire who was clenching her fists as she shifted uncomfortably and bit her lip almost hard enough to draw blood.

Claire felt her baby's head enter her birth canal without her pushing as her body contracting made her want to scream, as the contraction ended she felt another piece of paper hit her hand, it read "you have to go to the hospital".

Claire began furiously writing her answer before throwing the piece of paper at Jane, some of their colleagues turned around for a second as they heard the sound of paper being thrown. Jane opened the ball of paper to read "you'd love that wouldn't you, so that you can steal my promotion, now stop bothering me!!"

As Jane gave up on trying to help Claire the labouring woman decided to distract herself from her woes by focusing on her colleagues' presentations "heh everyone is going for such banal and shortsighted plans, I've got this" she thought to herself doing her best to not think about the baby slowly descending her birth canal.

Claire wanted to scream, these presentations just wouldn't end and her contractions were getting unbearable, she had to push. Her boss called Jane which was a small relief as after her rival it'd be her turn finally.

As Jane began her presentation Claire's eyes went wide, she felt her lips begin to slowly bulge out "hmmmm fuck not now baby please" she whispered and groaned as she fought the urge to yell from pain. It definitely didn't help that her rival's presentation rivaled her own.

While Jane kept going with her presentation Claire started giving small pushes hoping to help with the pain, but while the pain of her contractions lessened a strong burning sensation was beginning to form on her puffy lips as her firstborn's head began to stretch them apart.

Claire bit down on her lip to not scream, the taste of blood filling her mouth as she heard Jane concluding her presentation.

"Excellent job miss Yang, so far without a doubt the best presentation yet. Miss Zumperly, it's your turn now, we've been looking forward to see what you have to say." Claire's boss said.

Claire nodded as she slowly stood up her thighs being forced apart by the head spreading her lips as she waddled towards the whiteboard. "S-so as you ah-all know our pr-hm-profits have been hnnn" she tried to talk through the pain before her boss interrupted her.

"Miss Zumperly are you alright" Mr Smith asked seeing Claire struggle "J-just peachy Mr Smiiiiiiioooooooooooh gooood" her answer was interrupted by the sudden need to push and her giving in as her baby's head painfully stretched her lips.

The executives in the room started to panic as Claire kept moaning in pain while leaning on the wall, before Jane intervened "She's in labour, does anyone know how to help?" The room shrugged collectively being full of middle aged men that had only ever heard their wives talk about it in retrospect.

Jane scoffed while Claire pushed again "haaaaaa mnnnnnnnnnnnnnnhhhh" she tried her best not to let out an ear piercing scream as her baby reached a full crown, tears streaming down her face as her lips felt like a rubber band close to snapping.

Jane quickly dialed 911 while the executives either went out of the meeting room or stayed with a shocked expression on their face "we are in need of an ambulance right now!! A colleague of mine just went into labour and-" she was interrupted by Claire screaming as she pushed again "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HAAAA haaa hooo hooo" the head popping out of her with fluids spraying all over her ruined pencil skirt making it visible in-between her fat thighs.

"Oh fuck she pushed the head out!! Please hurry up we're in the office building on 51st street on the 12th floor!" Jane concluded quickly throwing her phone aside and going to hold her colleague's baby as it's head dangled out of her sore womanhood.

Claire took deep breaths and held on to the filing cabinet as she prepared herself for the next contraction "P-please hooo catch them" she stuttered out to her rival. Jane nodded before Claire bore down to push with all her might.

"Hnnnggggggaaaaaaaaaaaah haaaaa" the woman yelled and groaned as she pushed her firstborn into her colleague's arms, birth fluids leaking out of her soaking the carpeted floor even more.

As Jane handed Claire her baby the now mother catched her breath while nursing her son "I gotta get to the reception, it'll take forever for them to get all the equipment on the elevator" she said referring to the ambulance crew that her colleague called.

Before Jane could rebut Claire started hurrying towards the elevator, already feeling her second baby pass through her cervix, with every step she took her baby slipped lower and lower as everyone looked at her as she held a baby in her arms with the umbilical cord still hanging out of her.

Claire found herself in the middle of the cubicles as she felt a really strong contraction, this time she immediately gave in to the urge almost involuntarily,she suddenly squatted causing a loud ripping sound to be heard, she looked down to see her tight pencil skirt ripped in half as it slipped off her legs exposing her puffy red womanhood to all her colleagues.

But she had no time to feel embarrassed as she had to push "nnnnnnnnggggghhh haaaa" she panted as her pussy bulged painfully once again, her hand slipping down towards her lips to try to help them stretch.

As people began to gather around Claire her rival reached her, making her way through the crowd she reached the labouring business woman "Do you need help to reach the elevator?" Jane asked as she lowered herself to the squatting mother's height.

Claire nodded and slowly pulled herself up holding on to her colleague as they both slowly walked towards the elevator "hmmm nnngghh" the labouring woman moaned as her lips began to slowly open up again.

As they entered the elevator Jane pushed the ground floor button while Claire bit her lip and kept breastfeeding her newborn "hooo th-thanks b-but why hnnng are you helping me?" She asked her rival, to which she responded "I mean I do want the same position that you do but I'm not heartless, even if you might think otherwise"

Claire grunted as she gave a small push causing her lips to open up more and more "hmmmm" Jane knelt in-between her colleague's legs and pressed on her perineum to help prevent tearing "and also I might find myself in the same situation in a few months" she said.

Claire looked at her once rival and said "oh! Well hooo congratulations I guess, it's n-not hnnng easy" Jane chuckled "yeah well I can see that", Claire smiled lightly before feeling a contraction and pushing with it "hooooooooooo mmnnnnnnggggAAAAAAH" she yelled as her baby crowned.

Jane's hands went to help her colleague's lips stretch as she pushed "this baby seems a bit bigger than its brother" she said as Claire leaned on the elevator door absentmindedly just before hearing a ding followed by a robotic voice saying "ground floor"

As the cold metal doors opened Claire fell backwards only to be quickly caught by Jane, the event caused most people at the reception to turn towards the awkward pair as the thick half naked office lady moaned.

"Huuuuuu goood it hurts so bad" she said as the baby's head came out about halfway, Jane tried her best to help Claire back up only for her to squat down, as the less pregnant of the two was about to rebut she heard sirens approaching the building.

Jane quickly stood up and said "wait right there" before sprinting towards the entrance, Claire didn't even process what was said as she had to focus on pushing "hoooooooooooaaaaaaaah" her moan turned into a yell that echoed through the reception as her second baby's head came out of her.

She was squatting so low that head almost touched the now wet floor. As Claire gathered strength for her next push she heard a commotion as Jane and two paramedics ran towards her, but before she could say anything the strongest contraction she ever felt hit her.

"HMMNMAAAAAAAAH OOOOH GOD FUUUCK" she yelled as the baby's shoulders stretched her beyond belief causing her to tear. A paramedic quickly grabbed her firstborn from her arms allowing them to go to her battered womanhood as she yelled, while the other quickly went to hold the second baby as it slipped out of her.

As Claire finally felt the relief of her birth canal finally emptying she laid on the ground panting, while the paramedics cut her babies' cords and cleaned them up, Jane approached her and jokingly asked "you ready for that presentation now?" To which Claire chuckled "of course just tell the board of directors to reach me in my hospital room."

Hey everyone sorry this took so long, I hope you all enjoy it

[colourstreakgryffin]

Oo! A yan! Muichiro and Yoriichi X Mute and shy! Reader? (who doesn't know sign language and have to write on a paper/or something)

They gotta be seperate for. I’ll repeat it over and over again; Individual Yanderes. Will. Never. Share. But anyway, I’ll do this!

Tokito Muichiro [Aged Up]

Muichiro is a quiet man himself. He doesn’t really speak much, so he has issue with the fact you don’t speak at all. He does wish he could hear your voice but he won’t complain

Muichiro has been buying extra paper for you to use as your signs for communication, and he even carries a number of folded-up paper for you. He is considerate of your muteness

Muichiro relates well over your introvertness and timid nature. He doesn’t like socialising either but when it comes to you, he will happily be the talkative one for you. He does not really mind as much as he thought he would

Tsugikuni Yoriichi

Yoriichi was originally mistaken for being a mute man himself so he is very quiet and much prefers to stay away from socialisation, but for you, a real mute person, he actually uses his voice for the better of you two

Yoriichi tries to encourage you to learn sign language so you have another form of communication, alongside the many paper notes he carries for you. He wants to make sure you can have a more simple life

Yoriichi is not necessarily a introvert at heart, he speaks when he must and he doesn’t need to say a word to truly connect with you since he has plenty of other reasons to like you. He believes he will speak only when he should for you

Sorry, I only realised it was Yandere AFTER I finished writing it. But whatever, the Yandere behaviours of these two still apply! These are just additions to fit their darling and their mute condition

[hugmekenobi]

Goes Both Ways

A Bad Batch Series interlude oneshot

Gif by @transkestis​

(no, the S2 fits aren’t here yet, this gif just worked the best)

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: You and Hunter both realise there are trickier feelings that need navigating in a relationship but the two of you manage to work with them.

Warnings: Swearing, possessiveness/jealousy, reader doesn’t really stick the Jedi teachings (but we knew this anyway lol), pet name (sweetheart), Gregor being what I need in the form of a flirtatious plot device, Force communication working how I say it does, brief mention of death, no y/n, PDA in the form of making out, affectionate biting/marking, spicy and suggestive language and touches, awkwardness, getting caught/interrupted

Masterlist for S1 chapters

Word Count: 3.4K

Rating: 18+

Author’s notes: I can’t justify the main trope here, my brain just went into this headspace and took it and ran lol. Things get a bit spicier, but I appreciate this sorta thing isn’t for everyone but to those who do read, hope you enjoy :)

The three of them watched from the bar at the scene unfolding in front of them. They weren’t sure how exactly you would react once you came back from putting Omega in Cid’s room, but one thing was certain, you weren’t going to be very happy.

“Hey guys, what are we looking-” You stopped as you saw what it what they were staring at, or rather who they were staring at. “Who the fuck’s that?” You asked, attempting levity but it wasn’t very convincing.

“We don’t know. She appeared once you left.” Tech answered.

“Did she now?” You replied, your voice tense. The feelings bubbling within you were unfamiliar and you were still getting used to the whole relationship thing, but you could already tell you weren’t a fan of what was happening in front of you.

You continued to stare at the young woman currently standing by Hunter at the other end of the bar counter. She was being a little too touchy-feely for your liking, her hands kept wandering to Hunter’s chest and hands. Hunter, to his credit, kept inching away every time she did that, but she was not for dissuading.

“Are you alright?” Echo asked.

“Uh huh.” You replied stiffly.

“You sure?” Wrecker asked as he saw the way your jaw clenched.

You sucked air through your teeth. “Yup.”

“You know he’s not going to do anything.” Tech added.

“It’s not him I’m worried about.”

“Are you sure you-”

“Relax Echo, I’m not going to cause a scene.” You said calmy as you watched them.

You understood to a degree, hell if you were in her position you’d probably try too, but he was taken now.

Now he was yours.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, where the fuck did that line of thought come from? You thought to yourself, shocked that you’d even gone down that road so quickly. That jealousy and possessiveness was something you’d been taught for years was a very bad thing, yet you jumped to it immediately. You took a deep breath. “It’s fine, I’m fine. He’ll come back over once he's done talking.”

The three of them regarded you suspiciously.

“Chill with the fourth degree. I’m okay.” You reiterated as you felt their eyes on you.

“You’ve still not looked away.” Tech pointed out.

“And that bar stool leg wasn’t bent like that before.” Echo said, indicating to the chair you were closest to.

You glanced down and sure enough, the leg has curved slightly. Clearly you weren’t as fine as you were trying to make yourself out to be. “Wrecker, stand in front of me.”

Wrecker did as you asked. “That better?”

You took another deep breath. “Yeah. Just gotta wait until they’re done.” You stole a swig from Echo’s drink and willed the streak of possessiveness that was residing with in you to go away.

--

“Okay, how long has it been? Seriously, what could she be saying that’s so interesting?” You asked irritably. “Also, Hunter isn’t exactly a conversationalist, what could she be so captivated by?

The others shared a smirk. It had been five minutes and you’d only lasted two before you’d moved past Wrecker to watch them again.

“I don’t think it’s his conversation skills she’s interested in.” Tech said simply as if he was answering a question about the weather.

You shot him a glare as Wrecker and Echo both shook their heads at him. “Sometimes Tech, I forget you’re the smartest one here. I know what she’s interested in but how many times does he need to back away for her to get the hint? Or better yet, why doesn’t he leave?”

“Maybe he’s just being polite?” Wrecker offered.

“Or they’re genuinely having a conversation?” Echo suggested.

You hid your head in your hands, but you couldn’t help but laugh. “Sometimes I really can’t talk to you boys.”

“Although I doubt a genuine conversation would involve that.” Tech said indicating over to them.

You lifted your head and that possessiveness you had been attempting to quash came to a head as you saw the way she looped an arm around the back of his neck and drew her closer to him. “Oh, for fucks sake.” You muttered. The Jedi were dead, and they weren’t perfect anyway, so you didn’t have to be. You downed the rest of your drink and began to walk over to him.

“I have 5 credits on her bumping into her and making her spill her drink.” Wrecker said as he watched you go.

“Nah, she’ll use her Jedi abilities for that.” Echo countered. “Tech?”

“I think she’ll rise above and merely ask her to leave.”

Echo and Wrecker just stared at him; eyebrows raised.

Tech sighed, “Fine. She’s using the Force.”

--

Hunter had been itching to leave for the past ten minutes but this woman was not getting the message. He had just taken her hands off him for what felt like the one hundredth time when he felt you next to him as you wrapped an arm around his waist.

He glanced at you and saw a hint of darkness in your eyes as well as something he couldn’t quite place. “Hey, how are-” Your lips on his abruptly cut him off and it was a kiss that was definitely not meant for a public space. It was deep and intense, and he was sure it had something to do with whatever it was that was lurking behind your eyes. After what was probably too long for a casual expression of affection, you pulled away and he found that all words had left his brain.

“You were stolen away from me. I had to come check on you.” You said sweetly as you gazed at him, pleased with the slightly dazed look on his face. Keeping your hand wrapped around him, you faced the woman, and you felt a hint of smugness as you saw the flash of irritation on her face. “I see you’ve met my Hunter.”

Your Hunter? He regarded you curiously, but your eyes were focused on the woman in front of you.

“Yeah, we just got chatting.” She said innocently.

“Oh, chatting, was it? Looked to me like you were hitting on him.” You said with fake politeness.

Oh, that’s what this was, Hunter realised. You were jealous. He worried for the woman across from him since he’d never seen you like this, so he didn’t know what to expect. “Sweetheart, I wasn’t-”

“Oh, don’t worry, I trust you.” You said, leaning up to plant a kiss on his neck and you smirked to yourself as you saw her frown out of the corner of your eye.

You faced her again. “Honey, you should really look for men that are interested in you. You’re not going to get what you’re looking for here, I can tell you that.”

“Oh, I’d never-” She began, placing her hand over her heart as if she was shocked by such an insinuation.

“No?” You asked as if you were willing to believe her.

“It’s just he never mentioned you, so I assumed-”

You could tell she was lying and that was confirmed by the way Hunter stiffened next to you. “See, I think he did, and you just don’t know when to quit.”

“Well, I didn’t think sewer rats were his type.” She sneered.

You were glad you could be done with the fake niceties. You placed a hand on Hunter’s chest as you sensed him getting ready to speak. “I think you better be going now.” You said coolly and with a subtle flick of your finger, her drink spilt on her lap.

She shouted in annoyance at the red puddle that was now forming on her lap.

“Oh, now that’s unfortunate. You better get outta here and sort that cause white and red? That’s a bitch to clean and I wouldn’t want your lovely dress to get ruined.” You said with a cat-like grin.

She glowered at you and walked out of the bar.

“That wasn’t very nice.” Hunter kidded into your hair as he kissed your temple.

You looked back at him and looped your arms around his neck.

Hunter’s hands found your waist and as he stared into your eyes, he saw that that hint of possessiveness hadn’t left yet, and he realised it wasn’t necessarily just the woman he had to worry about.

“She was trying to take something that wasn’t hers.” You said as your hands threaded themselves in his hair. You pulled on it and brought his lips down, so they were mere inches from yours.

Hunter had to bite back the groan that threatened to leave his mouth and instead he tightened his hold on your waist. “We can’t… not here.” He managed to rasp out.

“See, I think it should be here. How else are people going to know that you’re mine?” You purred as you moved your lips to his ear before you bit down on his neck, using your tongue to sooth the sting of it.

“Fuck.” Hunter hissed out and he had to grab the counter so as to stay upright.

“Did you like talking to her?” You continued to whisper as you kissed along his jaw.

“No.” He replied hoarsely. His brain was having to work overtime to form even the simplest of words.

“You didn’t leave.” You murmured as you traced your lips over his. You took them away as you saw him go to make something more of it. “Why didn’t you leave?” You asked again, your hand trailing up and down his chest- thankful that they’d all decided they could take a break tonight since his armour would’ve made this difficult- whilst you sucked a mark on his pulse point.

Hunter’s head fell back, and it took all the willpower he possessed not to let out a moan. “Didn’t- Maker- didn’t want to be- Fucking hell- rude.” He ground out as your lips and tongue continued to do things to his neck that left him unable to think straight.

“If there’s a next time, Sergeant…” You crooned, bringing his head back up. “Be rude.” You whispered before kissing him once more, gently biting his lip and relishing in the way he couldn’t keep it together anymore as you heard him groan and hold you tightly to him.

“Oi, you two! This is a public space. Do that in your own place!”

Hunter snapped back to the current moment. He broke away and he saw Cid standing behind you.

You didn’t seem bothered at all. “We will.” You said simply as you took Hunter’s hand and led him out the bar.

All Hunter could do was follow you, too hooked on whatever it was you were acting like to argue or even really think.

--

The others had turned away from the moment that was unfolding between the two of you now, but Wrecker handed the credits over to Echo and Tech.

Echo heard Cid shout and risked a glance over his shoulder and as he saw you lead Hunter out, he guessed they’d be banned from the Marauder for a while. He sighed.

Tech and Wrecker stopped their conversation and followed Echo’s gaze.

“Ah.” Tech said plainly.

“Guess we’re going to be here a while.” Wrecker grumbled.

--

Hunter watched as you laughed at whatever it was Gregor had said. He wasn’t that funny. His jaw went tight as he saw the way Gregor placed a quick hand on your back. He felt that cold stab of jealousy, something he thought he’d risen above since he knew that it was really nothing more than friendly banter between the two of you, you’d told him as much and he trusted you. Plus, Gregor was a brother, and he was doing what brothers do which was very successfully winding him up and Hunter knew he should’ve been better at ignoring it. But seeing the flirtatious repartee come so easily to Gregor and watching him lean in closer to you was doing enough so that the primal feeling of possessiveness was able to take over his brain.

He got up as he saw you pass the table and followed you as you headed into Cid’s office.

--

Echo, Tech, and Wrecker watched from another table as you picked up your communicator and gently nudged Gregor out of your path, making your way out of the bar. Their eyes then fell to Hunter, who stood upon seeing you leave and followed you out of the room. The scene was all too familiar, and they all shared a knowing look as the deja vu settled over them.

“Who knew he could get jealous too.” Wrecker said. “I figured he’d be better than that.”

“Not with her, he’s always had an issue with Gregor. He flirts with her. It’s innocent enough but it gets to him.” Echo said.

“Yeah. Remember when Gregor brought her those flowers? Hunter didn’t leave her side the entire day.” Tech reminded Wrecker.

Wrecker nodded his head in agreement as he remembered.

“Hey fellas.” Gregor said as he sat down next to Wrecker. “Where’s the Sergeant?”

“No idea.” They all said together, and they were thankful that Omega was out running errands with Cid.

--

You finished finding those datapads Cid had asked you to bring to her but just as you were turning to leave, you felt Hunter’s presence but before you could say anything, he’d whirled you around and brought his lips to yours. It was the kind of kiss that took your breath away and left your head spinning as he pulled away. Gathering yourself, you put the datapads down and stared at him as he kept a firm grip of your waist. “What was that for?”

Hunter didn’t answer. He just kissed you again and tangled his fingers in your hair.

You felt it then. You felt the possessiveness that was flowing through him, and this kiss definitely had that in it. It was rough but it felt really fucking good. You just didn’t know what had set this off. What’s going on? You managed to send as you kissed him back just as eagerly.

“I never like it when he flirts with you.” Hunter muttered as he followed your jawline with his lips.

Letting out a happy sigh, you tilted your head back and let him explore your neck. “Who? Gregor?” You watched as his gaze met yours and you nearly let out a groan at the sight. His eyes were dark, and he was breathing heavily. “He’s harmless.” You managed to say, though it was a struggle.

“He wants you and I don’t like what that does to me.” Hunter growled as he kissed you again and pressed himself tighter to you.

“What if I like what it does to you?” You whispered breathlessly as you broke away, a coy smile on your lips as you leaned forward.

No. He wasn’t going to let you turn this one around. It was his turn now. “I don’t like people coming for what’s mine.”

The guttural way he said that had tingles running down your spine and your toes curled as he made his own mark on you. You’re lucky I love you, had that come from anyone else, I’d have kicked their ass.

“I must not be doing a very good job if you’re still able to find a way to speak.” With that, he kissed you again and he tugged on your lip, delighting in the way your breathing hitched as he did that. He grabbed the backs of your thighs and picked you up and carried you over to the edge of Cid’s desk.

You were grateful that the mission you’d been on had been tamer and involved blending in because if he was wearing his armour right now, you wouldn’t have been able to grab fistfuls of his shirt to hold him close to you.

Hunter brought his lips back to your neck. “Do you like it when he flirts with you?” He rumbled against your skin whilst his hand began to steadily trail a path along the inside of your thigh.

You couldn’t help the moan that left your mouth, but you stopped his hand from going any higher. “Someone could-” You broke off with another groan as he bit the sensitive spot just behind your ear before he cooled the sting of it with his tongue. “Walk in.” You said, your voice hoarse with effort.

“Maybe that’s what I want.” Hunter crooned. “Maybe Gregor should see who you’re with so he could get the message that you’re mine.” He kissed you again before he repeated his question, “Do you like it when he flirts with you?” He needed you as speechless as he was when you were this way, so he made another mark on the junction where your neck and shoulder met.

“Fuck!” You couldn’t help but shout and you removed your grip on his wrist since you needed both hands to keep yourself upright.

“Answer me.” Hunter ordered as he slowly continued to move his hand upwards.

Right. Words. Come on. “I-um- shit-” His teasing touches were killing you. “No. I’m just being nice.” You managed gasp out as your head fell back.

“Hmm.” Hunter stopped just before he reached where he knew you were wanting him. He grabbed the back of your neck so that you were forced to look at him.

You could barely keep your breathing under control. You’d never seen him like this, and you were scared by how much you were loving it. You found the edges of his shirt and found that all worries of being discovered were rapidly leaving you.

“If I went higher, what I would find there, would that be because of me or because of Gregor?” He hummed against your lips as he moved his fingers in small circles at the juncture of your thigh.

You could only moan in reply and your head fell into the crook of his neck.

Hunter paused what he was doing, pleased that you were as wrecked as you’d made him.

“You.” You croaked out as you felt him stop. “Please, Hunter.” He’d reduced you to a begging mess, but you were too far gone to care. “It’s only you. I’m just being nice. I’m yours. Please just-”

Your words sent him over the edge, and he kissed you hungrily.

You were about to lift his shirt over his head when the office door opened.

“Kriffing hell! Not my office!”

You pushed Hunter away and jumped down from Cid’s desk and you wanted to curl up on the floor and die but Hunter… he looked cool as can be.

“You two, out!” Cid yelled, shooing you out the door.

“The datapads are there.” You said sheepishly as you pointed to the small pile on the end of her desk.

“Well, now I know why you never brought them to me.” Cid snapped. “What if it was the kid instead of me?”

“It wasn’t.” Hunter replied breezily as he re-entered the bar.

You glanced at him, confused as to how he could answer so casually, but then you saw the look on his face, and you could feel that he wasn’t done with you yet and the thought sent a thrill through your veins.

Hunter snaked an arm around your waist and began to hurry you out the parlour.

“Ready to hear the rest?”

You stopped and turned to face Gregor. Hunter’s arm had wrapped itself around your front and he was pressed into your back. “Not right now but yeah, Gregor, you can finish that story later tonight.” You let out a small yelp as you felt Hunter nip the back of your neck. “Tomorrow. Can talk tomorrow.” You corrected quickly and you let Hunter push you out the parlour.

Neither of you had noticed Omega squashed between Wrecker and Gregor.

“Um…” Wrecker said.

“I know, I know. ‘We’ll tell you when you’re older.’” Omega said grumpily as she crossed her arms and slouched.

“Just don’t go to the ship tonight. I think we gotta crash here.” Echo said.

“Those two…” Cid came in shaking her head.

“Hey, we gotta live with them.” Wrecker pointed out.

“So long as we don’t get our timings mixed up, we should be fine.” Tech said.

“We can only hope.” Echo muttered.

Masterlist

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy​, @tpwkcalli​, @fuckoffthanos​, @arctrooper69​ @graciexmarvel​, @flyingkangaroo​, @nightmonkeysstuff​, @a-streakofazure​, @ladytano420​, @dragonrider9905​, @keep-calm-and-drink-caf​, @yyourmotherr​, @xxeiraxx​

[abcd-em]

5 on your list. Thanks!

Young Blood - Noah Kahan Peter & May

"You okay, kiddo?"

May cringes internally at the sound of her own voice. Too worried, too overbearing, too much. She fights a sigh as Peter's slumped form straightens and he works to paint himself in a better, brighter light. He is trying to hide all the bad from her, trying to stop her from worrying, trying to stop her from being 'too' anything.

He doesn't quite realise that it only serves to worry her more.

Since finding out he's spider-man, they've been-- disconnected. They're fighting more in ways that don't feel like actual fights. May flutters around him demanding he wear a sweater and adhere to curfews and call either her or tony during patrol. She's encroaching on the independence he's been enjoying for months-- fuck, he's been at this for months and she didn't know-- and he's been trying to fight is case, continuing to keep secrets and hide things from her as demonstration that he can look after himself, as a way to not invoke her concern and it all spins around in giant circles.

"Just-- It's nothing."

He's lying through his teeth, but it's nice to know that he still does the same thing every other teenager does. Makes her feel a little bit less like she's fucked this up somewhere along the way.

"Spider related?"

"May--" Peter sighs, preparing himself for another one of their non-fights but she shakes her head.

"This isn't--" May stops. "I'm not trying to-- I want us to talk about this. I want you to be able to come to me about these things, and I know you don't want to because you worry I'm going to worry, but guess what, Pete: I'm your guardian, it's literally my job to worry. If I wasn't worrying then I'm not taking good care of you."

"You take great care of me, May."

Her heart warms. "I know, because I worry."

"But, I don't want you to."

"It's gonna happen, kid. It would happen if you decided to be a scout and went camping in the woods too. But look. This thing you're doing, it's hard. Even if Stark promises me that you're 'close to the ground and not involved in the big stuff', that's still more than any other kid your age is dealing with-- more than a lot of people my age are dealing with-- it's hard."

Peter looks to her. Brown eyes, that she can still remember staring up at her from behind coke bottle glasses as they drank hot cholate together his first night in this apartment, soften under the weight of what he's placed upon himself, doubt and fear beginning to creep into the edges.

"That doesn't mean it's not worth it. You're doing something good, Peter and I'm proud of you for that, really. I'm just trying to make sure that you are also good. You gotta let me do that, so you can do all these amazing things. That starts by telling me what's got you down."

May hopes that she's doing this right. She doesn't know how she lucked out with a kid like Peter who has enough hope and light within him that he doles it out into his neighbourhood-- a responsibility beyond his years-- but she hopes she's doing him justice. For Ben. For Mary and Richard.

For Peter.

Give me a number 1 -100 and I'll write a snippet based on my spotify wrapped playlist

[hoedamn-eron]

mad sweeney - overstimulation

Kinktober Day 1 - Overstimulation

Warnings: 18+, minors, DNI. Overstimulation. Sweeney refers to reader as 'lass'. Some swearing. Word count: 950 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

Series Masterlist ● Day 2

“No, no, no, Sweeney, please…”

“Just one more, love, that’s all I need, just one more…”

It’s nothing new. When Mad Sweeney reappears into your life, he always wants a hot shower, a drink (a stiff one usually, but you always make him tea), and a comfortable bed.

And a warm pussy to bury himself in. It was usually yours.

He comes stumbling into your house, filthy and slurring his words. You never ask any questions; where he’s been or what he’s been doing, or who he’s been doing it with. All you know is that he wants, needs, your help, even if it’s just for a few hours. So, you lead him to your shower, where he barely fits, and you make him the cup of tea. You wash his clothes and He’s usually sobered up enough after the shower to drink the tea then pass out in your bed with you.

This time round was no different. However, this morning, he decided to wake you up with his head between your legs and an orgasm or two.

Or five.

Maybe six.

You lost count a while ago.

Your fingers are buried in his red hair and you’re pushing him further into your pussy, like you weren’t just begging him to stop his onslaught on you. It’s gotta be illegal, the way he was making you feel, his tongue and his fingers working you up to another orgasm, as he promised.

“Sweeney,” you gasped, your back arching. “Please, please, please, please…”

He didn’t deem to give you an answer, just look up at you with the dirtiest look possible, from those hazel eyes of his, and that was all it took for another orgasm to glide down your spine. After a few more flicks of his tongue against your abused clit, you came with a loud cry. You felt more than heard Sweeney groan into you, his fingers thrusting into you, helping you ride out your orgasm.

You were shaking your head as the pleasure subsided, but Sweeney was already working at you again, feeling like a warm buzz throughout your body. “One more.”

“That’s what…what you said three orgasms ago,” you breathe, giving a small laugh as your eyes closed. You knew you weren’t getting out of this anytime soon.

You felt him give a breathy chuckle against your pussy before he leaned back in. Your nerves were on fire, and you couldn’t stop shaking. You could feel your fingers tightening in Sweeney’s hair, trying to anchor yourself as he licked and sucked at your clit. You felt as if you would float away if you didn’t.

“Ye’re being so good for me, sweetheart,” Sweeney muttered. “Just takin’ all I’m givin’ you.”

You give a high pitched, weak whine from deep in your throat as you feel yourself about to cum again, seeing stars behind your eyes as your orgasm builds quickly and suddenly. You shook and screamed his name as you thrash on the bed, as if trying to get away, another wave of ecstasy crashing over you as another climax hit you just as powerful as the others. You felt Sweeney hold you down by your hips, keeping you still as he continued his assault on your cunt. You sobbed loudly, and you hadn’t even realised you had started crying. Everything hurt, but it all felt so good.

“Love?” Sweeney asked in a low tone, his fingers stilling in you as he looked up at you again with those Goddamn eyes. “You got one more fer me?”

“No, no,” you say, panting, finally looking down at him. “Fuck, Sweeney, I can’t.”

“Ye can,” he muttered against you, not breaking eye contact as he kissed your abused clit.

Tears were falling down your cheeks as you stared at him, and eventually you nodded, barely able to form any words.

“Good lass,” he muttered as his fingers pumped into you again, slowly this time. You let out a low moan, your head tilting back again as your eyes closed, visions of luscious green forests and the metallic taste of gold suddenly overtaking your senses. “That’s it. Have to thank ye for all those times ye’ve taken me in, eh?”

You don’t tell him that you would have taken him in anyway, sex aside. You know he isn’t a man to be tired down, that he wasn’t the man you would take home to meet the parents, but you liked knowing that he was alive…that he’d come to your door okay (as ‘okay’ as he could be anyway).

You feel his tongue on you again, and now you don’t even fight it. Even as you came down orgasm after orgasm, he doesn’t stop, making your whole body tremble with each sweep of his tongue. You were a wreck, drenched in sweat, your own mess, and trembling helplessly. Sweeney finally pulled away, only for him to kneel up high over you, smirking as he fisted himself slowly before wordlessly entering you easily, meeting no resistance with how much he’d been working at you.

You were a goner.

You’re not sure how long you’re actually in bed for, but by the time he’s finished absolutely devouring you and fucked himself into you (with a few extra orgasms for ‘good luck’), your legs can barely support you as you stagger to your bathroom to clean yourself up. You send him a glare over shoulder, leaning on your dresser for support as you feel his cum start to drip out of you.

He merely smirked at you before chuckling. “Need a hand there, love?”

“No, thanks,” you say, stumbling your way into your bathroom. “I’ve had enough of your hands for one day.”

[alpydk]

So enough motivation from me! 😆🙈

Or I come up with a tremendous amount of asks😆

Bonus:

Imagine Tav singing this for Gale and doing a space show like he did in the romance scenes but with dancing and more 90s powerpoint Tom Cardy Style 🤣

“Now, Gale, I can’t conjure stars or even get a dancing lights off to help in saying all this, but I just can’t let it go that you’ve been down on yourself recently.”

Tav stood before a bewildered Gale, the mace held tightly in her hand to calm her nerves. The silence of the forest fell over them both, another romantic night reaching the discussion of Gale’s imminent demise to the Orb.

“Tav, am I to expect some form of lecture or-”

“Shh... Just sit back and listen to what I have to say.”

She brought the white glowing head of the mace up close to her lips. “Now and then, we all get a thought that stops us in our track”. The improvised microphone had been amplified with one of Wyll’s Minor Illusion spells to increase the volume of Tav’s voice and with this and the growing confidence coming with her words, she continued.

Gale felt the need to back off cautiously. Tav was no bard and yet was making this performance without hesitation, almost as if it had been choreographed beforehand.

“You gotta stop with that shit ‘cause you’re p-p-perfect-”

He wanted to interrupt, a blush rising in his cheeks that he couldn’t control, but all he could do was keep his eyes pinned on the woman in front of him that swayed with the imaginary tune only she could hear.

“And Pluto knows what Pluto is, And Pluto knows that Pluto’s-”

It was as the music kicked in and the lights grew around them that Gale realised this had been entirely planned. He could see as their fellow party members emerged from the tree line, Minthara begrudgingly casting the Faerie Fire spell with a signal from backup singer Astarion, who swayed his hips arrogantly to the beat. Wyll joined in with the chorus, an unrecognisable higher pitch emerging from him with glee.  

The song continued for some time, Karlach appearing with her chest aglow, imitating a sun as Shadowheart spun around her, nudging a grumpy and somehow greener Lae’zel in front of her. Despite the frown, it did appear the Githyanki was enjoying herself at the thought of once again being amongst the stars.  

“And you’re hot shit too, so look up to the stars. The universe was made for you!”

Gale couldn’t help but stand to join Tav, their bodies pressed together, and his own spells cast, bringing the cosmos around them as the world disappeared. Before he knew it, he was joining in with the words; the mace shared between them as he belted out the chorus with his own impromptu words.  

“I won’t ever be an astronaut, But I’m still hot like Halley’s Comet!”

The night continued with various songs, Astarion at one point expertly playing a flute much to the surprise of everyone around him. Shadowheart joined up with Scratch to sing about their roles at parties, but it was Minthara and Lae’zel who ended up being the stars, singing a rather brutally honest song about their opinion of one another’s appearances to each another.

Tav and Gale watched with smiles on their faces, her head resting on his shoulder at the festivities. Maybe that was how it could always be: music, friends, dancing, and just the chaos of the universe woven from their fingertips.

[nightendale]

The killing moon part 1 | natalie scatorccio x reader (Yellowjackets)

Master list

Words 6k

Chapter one “I heard a rumour, what have you done to her”

"Gabriella you've got work on your footing" She can hear him, she can always hear him, he stays in the back of her mind as a constant reminder that no matter what she wasn't what he had planned for his life, she knew from birth she was a series of supposed to bes', second bests, she was supposed to be born a boy, a mistake made by one of the doctors who didn't look close enough, she was supposed to be an Olympian in the making, for god sake, her father was a soccer coach it was in her genes, but no matter how many things her father had planned for her she always fell second best a constant reminder of what should've been.

Gabriella knew from a young age that she was never going to live up to what her father wanted, but she tried god she tried. She was so selfish for his love, so selfish and so desperate which is why when her father shows praise for another girl on her team, a girl Gabriella hasn't bothered to even get the name of, she feels it, the thing she's felt her whole life and knows she has to get his attention any attention, bad, good anything she needed it, that mindset alone was dangerous but the fact that she had now made eye contact with the stick poking out of the ground was more.

"She's bleeding"

"COACH SHES BLEEDING"

"Gabriella's bleeding"

Gabriella laid on the ground smiling up as everything around her moved at fast paces, she knew she was selfish, how couldn't she be in a life like this when acting selfishly is the only way to receive love.

"JACKIE" a teammate had shouted from somewhere on the grass making Gabriella look towards the girl whose name was being yelled, the Yellowjackets, her father's greatest accomplishment, were currently playing their last game of the season, the game that was the deciding factor of whether or not the Martinez house was going to be silent or boastful. The game so far didn't look too good, the teams coming up on a tie, that's until Gabriella watches as the ball shoots right at Jackie's head bouncing off and landing right into the goal.

For a second it is silent, the realisation of what just happened slowly hitting everyone.

Then it goes.

"WERE GOING TO NATIONALS BITCHES"  a scream is heard.

Then a circle forms, and someone's hand grabs Gabriella's wrist and drags her into it as well, she stumbles clashing against her other teammates but no one notices or cares, they're too busy jumping.

"BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ" The girls are cheering and laughing so hard that Gabriella can't help but join in, they're going to nationals.

-

"That was a good game, Gabriella," her dad starts and before she can even get happy at the acknowledgment, "but you still gotta work on that left foot of yours" It comes crashing down again, she knows he isn't saying this to be hurtful, lord knows he's said worse, and at this point, she doesn't take his cruel words to heart anymore, the desperation for her father's affection whilst still strong, doesn't crumble her world as much as it used to, at least not since the incident.

Gabriella acknowledges what her father says worth a grumble, then turning to stare at the window, she wonders what it would be like living a life that doesn't feel like a battle for approval, a father that wanted a girl.

After a bit of driving the father and daughter duo pull into the family's garage, the two getting out of the car and heading inside their nice suburban home.

"mija how was the game today" Gabriella's mother greets her, cooking some dinner in the kitchen.

"Was good" Gabriella replies shortly, giving her mom a nod to which her mother just turns back to the task at hand. "You going to nationals?" She hears a voice ask from the kitchen table, it's Javi her little brother, the only other person that's just as much a fuck up in this family as she is. "Yes el perdedor" Gabriella replies while putting a hand in his hair and ruffling it.

"Gabriella leave your brother alone," her mother tsks at the two teenagers "But that's amazing, you Yellowjackets are something".

And Gabriella knows her mother is right, she just hates that she has to share that stage of talent with others.

Gabriella nods at her mother's comment and mumbles something about needing to go to her room for a bit.

-

Gabriella has gone the last four years without forming a singular proper bond with any of her teammates outside of what was necessary, it honestly wasn't something she did on purpose she just didn't have time for a social life by the time she was finished with everything else, soccer and her school came first, people are disposable and are to only been interacted with when they can provide something.

This is why it is very awkward for her on days like this when they're doing a prep rally, a whole event dedicated to them which meant acting like she was happy to be sharing the spotlight.

In the locker room and she stares into her blue locker, thinking of soccer strategies while her teammates all around her are singing along to Salt n Peppas shoop.

"Girls what's my weakness!?"

"MEN!"

The Locker room erupts in louder singing, laughter and what seems like Taissa and Natalie doing a makeshift dance or rap battle with each other, the noise catches Gabriella's attention and she looks at the Miniature concert, as she does  she makes eye contact with Natalie, one of her teammates who in particular has a vendetta against Gabriella, she's short to everyone else but Gabriella with shaggy blonde hair that just screams I don't care, and dark eye make up that makes her already piercing blue eyes somehow even more piercing, so piercing in fact that Gabriella takes one look and slams her locker shut walking off, not wanting to feel the strangeness she fills in her stomach, people are disposable.

Gabriella walks into the bathroom area of the locker room seeing more of her teammates in there, Van and Allie, Van is the teams' goalie a pretty girl with sharp features and red hair and Allie is their youngest addition, a freshman that honestly Gabriella doesn't really understand how she got on the team but she doesn't question her father.

Upon Gabriella entering Van looks up smiling at her, " hey flex, You want a bee too?" She says nodding towards the pile of face paint next to her being used to draw a bee currently on allies face, while Allie is mumbling about something.

Gabriella shakes her head no, giving Van what she hopes is a kind smile. It luckily must've come across as such cause Van smiles at her back and then goes back to focusing her full attention on allies cheek.

Looking away from van she spots Lottie standing in the doorway that leads to the auditorium, nodding her head at her in acknowledgment Gabriella realises she hasn't seen one of her team members at all, "where's Jackie?" She asks, why are you asking , she shakes the thought and looks back at Lottie awaiting the reply.

"Coach asked to see her" Lottie says a little sheepishly, Gabriella feels her jaw tense a little at hearing this, she knows what this meeting means and she also knows she should be in there not Jackie, but she doesn't voice these opinions just puts a polite smile back on and nods.

Disposable

Gabriella turns away from the other girls back here and looks in the mirror fixing her appearance up, looking at herself she takes notice of everything, her nose is too long too manly she thinks, her brows are too unkept, her blue eyes look dull and lifeless opposed to others, her shoulder length brown hair is too short for her liking and so is her fringe that is cut into a micro-bang style a hair style only to make sure nothing goes in her face while playing, after assessing her face she decides it's too manly and probably the reason she's never had a boyfriend, not that she minds too much, boyfriends don't provide anything to her.

She then looks down at her body currently covered by the blue and yellow colour soccer uniform, and decides that while her face is too manly her body is too womanly, her body developed too much while having a lot in the truck on her chest, the lower part of her body was just put muscle from the years of playing soccer.

She stares at her body deciding her chest is what was the cause of those years of torment from bobby and she can't stand to look at herslef anymore when that thought flashes through.

Stepping back from the mirror she grabs her straightened hair and puts it in two low buns.

Finally out of her own head she hears van scoff "you're done" she says to Allie, the younger girl nodding and practically skipping off while van still stands there in shock about something. Before Gabriella gets to ask what she missed Lottie scoffs and comes to stand next to van, "Jesus Christ" van and lottie laugh "does someone wanna tell Kelly Kapowski to maybe worry less about prom and worry more about not fucking up nationals" Lottie finishes while fixing her hair, van making faces in the mirror and taissa now joking the four of them in the bathroom also looking in the mirror.

"Oh come on." Van says.

"If she plays like she did at states-" Lottie starts until taissa looks up with a knowing smile "don't worry, that's not going to happen" she says crossing her arms still smiling, she then walks off.

Gabriella is left standing there feeling like she might've missed some big context, but doesn't bother asking cause honestly she couldn't care.

Disposable.

-

"Now our next act needs no introduction, so let's  all just make some noise for your New Jersey girls state soccer champions" Gabriella hears the Principal yell out marking the girls cue to run out.

The train of Yellowjackets leads with jackie the girls all running out to the beach boys good vibrations playing loudly over the auditorium speakers, as they run the girls crack smiles all feeling like a prize in auction on show while the school students and staff all cheer and holler for them.

The girls run into a line standing next to each other, Gabriella stands somewhat in the middle of line next to Natalie, she looks into the crowd of people cheering for her basking in the delusion that her dad is there cheering on for just her, but she knows the reality of it. While standing there, she feels soemthing brush against her hand, not thinking much of it she continues pretending her dad is there watching only her, when she feels it again, she looks down and see Natalie trying to press her pointer finger tip to hers, she glared at Natalie and as subtly as she can moves away from the touch not caring to even look at the other girls reaction.

Disposable.

-

Walking out of the school building next to shauna , Gabriella sees three of her other teammates in a semi circle talking, Gabriella guesses soemthing serious is getting spoken about because she can feel the tension from here, and from that alone she is ready to walk away and have no part in it, until she over hears taissa.

"This is what we worked for all season you really wanna take that chance?"

Upon hearing this both shauna and Gabriella make their way joining the circle, "yeah cause I'm not a fucking asshole" Nat retaliates back.

"What are you guys talking about?" Shauna questions, Gabriella not bothering to speak but curious.

Lottie looking a little bit stressed is the first to give any idea to the conversation at hand "Allie."

Before Lottie can say anything else, "what about her?" Shauna questions again.

"Did you black out at states," taissa questions looking at the Shauna and Gabriella "she totally choked-"

"She's a freshman tai" Natalie cuts in. "She's a liability" taissa finishes.

"So what do you want to do about it?" Shauna questions again, Gabriella staring straight at taissa wanting to hear what she's got planned, as much as Gabriella thinks getting to know her teammates is pointless from what she knows of taissa she trusts her judgment when it comes to winning, taissa is headstrong and taissa is selfish like Gabriella she fights for that spotlight as well and will do what it takes to win no matter the cost, something Gabriel can admire in a person.

"She can't screw up if she doesn't get the ball." Taissa says as a matter of fact.

"You want to freeze her out?" Shauna says finally understanding what's going on.

Gabriel looks around trying to have the other girls opinions, none of them are readable except taissa who has clearly given this some thought and Natalie who looks so offended by the sheer idea of the context of the conversation.

"Atleast we'd know what we're working with-" taissa says arms crossed looking around to see if any one agrees with her, "she does have a point." Gabriella says dryly, the other looks at her in shock that she's stated an opinion and actually spoken to them, all of them except Natalie though who is now glaring daggers at not just taissa but also gabriella.

"She does kinda suck," Lottie also adds, "but I don't know"

"That's because it's bullshit." Nat says still looking at gabriella with a look that can only be described as betrayal, Gabriella doesn't humour her with a expression back choosing to remain unfazed but she doesn't understand nats looks at her, she doesn't owe her anything.

"Oh yeah what's your plan then?" Taissa says with a hint of venom in her tone dropping her hands.

"I don't know, play like a fucking team and win," Natalie says returning the tone, looking taissa up and down "it's worked so far"

"Everything works until it doesn't, and for the record you smell like a wino, get your shit together" taissa says back to her.

Natalie looks around at everyone seeing if they are going to say something, she stops when her eyes land on Gabriella, Gabriella raises a eyebrow to her and Natalie's eyes turn back into a glare.

"You know what," she looks down a smile now on her face "fuck this" she says, giving one last harsh look to Gabriella  and storms off away from the girls.

"Wow." Taissa says, turning to the group.

"Doesn't feel right." Lottie says leaving in the same direction Natalie did.

Gabriella decides to leave at the same time as Lottie, not bothering to state an opinion anymore , once Taissa has her mind up on something there's no changing it anyways, not that she wants to change this one.

-

"Alright everyone bring it in, take a knee ladies," coach Ben says, blowing his whistle to get the team who is currently doing drills attention.

"What's up state champs!," the girls are now on their knees on the ground in front of him, his words causing them to cheer at the mention of their recent win. "Okay so, jv is gonna help us out with a little scrimmage today, coach Martinez had to take care of a family thing," his words bring confusing to Gabriella, family thing? There's no family thing? He never misses a practice, clearly some of the other team members have the same train of thought as her cause when she looks up again there's heads turned looking at her, "so jv you're gonna grab a penny from misty and get started" coach finishes the curious girls not interested in what's going on with coach anymore.

"Coach Scott shouldn't we say a prayer first?" One of the girls says, Laura Lee a tall blonde girl with a heart of gold and a love for religion, if there's anyone on this team you can't hate it's her.

"Ah it's just a scrimmage Laura Lee" coach says a little uncomfortable. Laura Lee in her politest way possible is not taking that for an answer and shoots coach ben an awkward half smile, "but, uh sure yeah knock yourself out" he finally relents.

"Heavenly father let our efforts remain fruitful," Laura Lee begins the prayer, some girls put their head down prayer some others just stay silent in respect. Gabriella has never been the religious type remembering how awful it felt getting dragged to church as a kid, but she also isn't the non religious type, it's kind of another thing that feels disposable to her, serves her no need or goal.

"Amen" she hears some girls shout bring her out of her short thoughts, the word signifying Laura Lee end of grace, and the start of practice.

At the command of coach Scott the girls all start practicing, Gabriella taking her place at the back as a centre back she watches the game unfold in front of her.

Throughout the game she notices Natalie passing a lot to Allie something that brings an eye roll to Gabriella's face, and as much as it seems Natalie is trying to help Allie out, Allie is still falling at getting the ball.

Being reminded of the conversation from earlier she notices Taissa run up to coach and says something to him, nothing Gabriella can hear from her position. "Alright let's go variety, Taissa wants to see you step it up and quite frankly so do I"

That's when it happens, Gabriella watches the scene happen so fast, disposable, it starts with Taissa taking charge of the ball stealing it from Allie, Allie then trying to take the ball back in retaliation and Taissa reacting to this by pushing Allie away "this is the game step it up" Gabriella hears being said between the two girls.

She watches as shauna goes up to Taissa where they have a small conversation, Gabriella not able to hear this either, but she knows what's about to happen isn't good she feels it, she feels it like she felt it that day.

She runs, she runs fast, runs from her dads words, her teammates screams, she runs, she sees it, a stick, a big stick it's got almost 30 centimetres of height to it and a thick pointy end, she runs to it and without thinking she does it SNAP.

She wishes bones snapping didn't sound so close to a stick snapping, because if it didn't she wouldn't be standing here in the middle of her soccer field trying to calm what feels like might be a panic attack. Taissa had a plan, and Taissas selfish like her.

The scene feels unreal to her, like it's a cruel joke set out to remind her of the wrong she'd done. Taissa had broken allies leg, not just broken her leg she had hit her hard enough the girls bone snapped in half and was currently out on view for all to see the damaged caused by Taissa.

Everyone around her is panicking, allies screaming is all she can seem to focus her mind on, she's trying to understand but everything feels to much, she wants to help she wants to say something, do anything but she can't she is selfish, she doesn't want to speak and feel any burden of guilt of what had to been done to his girl, so she doesn't help she stays quiet, and she stays quiet as she watches misty try to help, she stays quiet as coach Scott and her teammates rush to aide, and she stays quiet as Allie is rushed off to hospital.

-

Ironically enough the locker room is too quiet, everyone's acting busy getting ready to go home so no one has to mention what just happened on the soccer field.

Gabriella sits on the floor back against some random locker, she has her head down focusing on her breathing when Jackie comes in "I know we're all really worried about Allie, but it might not be as bad as it looks." Gabriella looks up at Jackie, staring blankly wondering what her father sees in this girl to make her captain.

Natalie says what everyone's thinking "you could see her fucking bones Jackie, I'm pretty sure it's exactly as bad as it looks." As she finishes she shoots a look at Gabriella.

"I'm going to be sick." Van says nausea radiating off the girl.

"Ok but, I mean, we're still a team and we still have each other." Jackie says crossing her arms over, she looks so desperate to be a leader that Gabriella kind of feels a bit of putty towards the girl.

"And the lord works in mysterious ways" Laura Lee offers up trying to be kind. At her works Natalie stands up and slams her locker shut grabbing her bag storming out, "nice work Taissa" Natalie's words leaving a solemn aura to the room as no one dares to say anymore.

-

"How was school turd?" Gabriella asks as her little brother gets into the passenger seat. The young boy looks up and rolls his eyes at his sisters name calling, "it was fine, how was your prep rally and practice?"

Gabriella sighs and gives a dead look back, jacks understands what she means by that and turns the radio up, setting the two Martinez children into a comfortable silence.

You'd think Gabriella would be over silences, with how silent her day to day life is but the truth is there's nothing she loves more, silent means no socialising, silence means not saying the wrong thing, silence leaves no room for mistakes and that comforts Gabriella.

The rest of ride home is silent only ever sometimes filled with the noise of javi sketching something. Gabriella drives but she can't stop thinking about Natalie's look, it was so distraught, so betrayed? Gabriella wonders what she has done to the girl, they hardly knew each other, the lingering thought of you know why keeps voicing itself in the back of her mind, but before she can even touch on it the siblings are pulling into the family's drive way.

Upon walking into the house Gabriella can sense the tension, today their house inst a place of home but instead a warzone. proving Gabriella's suspicions right when she turns the corner into the dining room her mother and father sit clearly ready to have a family talk.

Javi and Gabriella share a look between themselves, "mi hijo sit please," their mother says quietly ushering them to sit down.

Once the two teens are seated their father clears his throat, "me and your mother are taking a little break," he starts, Gabriella feels her fingers start ripping at the skin around her fingernail, "I've done something to upset your moth-"

"cerdo you slept with a another woman!" Gabriella's mother shrieks cutting her father off, "me and your father are getting a divorce" she states plainly staring at her once was husband with disgust.

Javi goes to say something but Gabriella stands up loudly, "no," she says about to walk off.

"What do you mean no?" Her father says growing angry at the situation and his daughters growing attitude.

Gabriella stands tall for once not feeling afraid of her father, he doesn't have perfect anymore "I said no, you both don't get to do this to me, I leave for nationals tomorrow, you didn't even show up to practice today dad. You held getting to nationals over my head for Months you don't to get just push this onto me as well, sort it out after nationals." She says leaving her parents a little stunned, she doesn't get to take much of it in though cause as quickly as she spoke she was out of the dinning room ignoring her fathers booming voice to come right back and heading upstairs instead.

Gabriella enters her room, its a medium sized room decked out like a image of what a teenage girls room should be, all white furniture with big white fuzzy blankets and a small bear plushie in the middle of her pillows, the room screams femininity all furniture bought by her dad and not allowed to be changed, the only thing that shows Gabriella actually lives in this room is the wall of soccer trophies from over the years and a framed photo of her and javi on her nightstand, other then that you'd think this was a show room and sometimes she has a hard time remembering it's not.

Gabriella for the past four years hasn't socialised with anyone, her limited socialisation comes from her teammates and javi, she's been too a couple of highschool parties never really enjoying them, but she's never been to one for the Yellowjackets something about it seems commit full like if she goes she's pushing an image she doesn't know if she likes, which is why she's confused staring at her freshly make up caked face and an outfit consisting of a black sweater and small black skirt.

She looks at her hair deciding to just leave it down and heads out her house before she can have any second thoughts about going to this party.

-

The whole way to the party Gabriella tries to not think think about what happened at the last party she attended, she makes a point to note the same won't happen again tonight.

Upon arriving she notices shauna and Jackie drinking together with a bunch of other people she doesn't know too well around a bunch of cars, she also takes notice that Natalie is here, choosing not to notice the clammy feeling her hands have suddenly gotten, and decides if she's gonna make it through this party she needs a drink.

Grabbing a drink off van who seems to be guarding the keg Stand she walks off to sip at her drink leaning against a tree regretting even coming.

In true Yellowjackets fashion she gets reminded why she doesn't come to these events when shauna walks over to Taissa.

"I admire your resilience knowing you fucking crippled someone today" Shauna says to Taissa, clearly drunk, Lottie and van standing next to the girls but not getting in the conversation yet.

"Ok good talk" Taissa says defeated and goes to walk off until Shauna speaks up clearly not wanting this argument to end, "just admit you did it on purpose"

Taissa turns around slowly and walks back up to Shauna, Gabriella stands heading towards the girls the sinking feeling from practice coming back again. "excuse me?" Taissa says on the defence instead this time.

"You heard me"

"Your wasted" Taissa says trying to diffuse the situation.

"And you're a sociopath." Shauna says back keeping the argument going.

Van seeing where this is heading puts a hand out on Shauna "woah, calm down."

Shauna immediately pushes van off, "no, listen you guys we don't have to worry about the Allie problem anymore, because Taissa fixed it for us." Shaunas getting louder and louder by the second, causing more attention to be drawn to the group of girls, Laura Lee and Natalie now also joining the girls.

"What's she talking about?" Gabriella hears Laura Lee ask Natalie. "She's talking about Taissa little plan."

Taissa turns to them both "oh please, since when did you give a shit anyway, don't you have a bong to hit or a dick to suck?"

Gabriella goes to defend Natalie but Shauna beats her to the chase "don't talk to her like that" she semi slurs at Taissa.

"Oh fuck off shauna, I don't need you to defend me," Natalie says sounding more pissed off "last time I checked you were fine with the whole freeze her out strategy."

"Okay seriously what are we talking about?" Laura Lee finally exclaims louder.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP LAURA LEE!" The group yells in unison except Gabriella.

"Okay can we all just chill the fuck out no need to yell." Gabriella says moving to stand close to Laura Lee, she pretends not to notice Natalie's odd stare at her movement.

Some of the girls like van and Lottie start talking over the test agreeing that they need to stop until Taissa decides to start it back up again, "somebody needs to take her wasted ass home"

Shauna gets closer to Taissa "say that again bitch" at this the two girls start arguing and trying to fight each other.

Van and Lottie trying to push them apart and diffuse the situation, Gabriella just standing there noticing Natalie's stare.

The argument starts actually getting physical with Gabriella now also trying to get the girls to back off from each other, but it doesn't matter cause all the yelling has drawn them an audience and some boy yells "cat fight!" The girls still not stopping only getting worse also gets Jackie's attention who now stomps over to the group.

"ENOUGH!" She yells at them causing them all to go quiet, she looks around seeming a little shocked her yell worked and honestly Gabriella is too cause even she's tuned into what Jackie's got to say.

After a moment Jackie says loudly "Yellowjackets with me NOW!" And storms off further into the tree filled area, all the girls following suit, even Gabriella to her own surprise, maybe her dad was right. Disposable

"I don't know what the fuck that was, but I do know that it's over," Jackie starts talking to the group of girls, "we're about to go to nationals and based on what I'm looking at right now, we may as well not even bother getting on that plane." She pauses looking at her team, seeming like she's thinking up something.

"Alright," she pauses "everybody line up" she stops for a second and when nobody moves she continues "no I'm fucking serious line up come on!" She orders clapping her hands together.

The girls start forming a line Gabriella placed between lotting and Shauna and she thinks again about her dads choice of Jackie being their leader and kind of understands his decision.

"Here's what we're gonna do," Jackie starts once the girls are in a proper line "I want each of you to go down this line and say one nice true thing about every other girl on this team."

"What is this fucking Girl Scout camp." Taissa says softly to van causing van to snort.

"Who wants to go first?" Jack asks. "I'll go Jackie" Laura Lee says enthusiastically stepping up to do this activity causing Jackie to break out in a smile and let Laura start.

Laura Lee makes her way in front of Taissa first "Taissa, you are beautiful in the eyes of our lord" Gabriella can already tell how this gonna go based if this first interaction but doesn't say anything.

After Taissa let's out a mumble of acknowledgment laura Lee then moves down to van.

"Van you are beaut-" "oh my god" Lottie exclaims with annoyance causing some of the other girls to giggle.

"Ok laura Lee fall back," Jackie says seeming a little stressed "okay, I'll go first"

Jackie makes her way in front of Taissa, "Taissa turner, you have more fight in you then anyone I've ever know, I'm inspired by your determination." Jackie says to the girl leaving her seeming at a loss for words.

When Taissa doesn't reply Jackie moves down to van, "Vanessa Palmer," van does a little head nod at this, "your smile makes me feel happy everytime I see it" Jackie giggles out, van blushes and nods her head in what seems like gratitude.

"Laura Lee, I truly admire your faith" Laura Lee smiles and nods happily.

"Nat I love that you don't care what anybody thinks," Natalie looks a little uncomfortable hearing the compliment but Jackie continues "your so completely yourself-"

"She's also deadly at beer pong" van announces causing laughter erupt within the group, "so go on tell her," Jackie says urging the girls to partake.

Gabriella gets paired up with Taissa first, "taissa I admire how loyal you are to the sport, how you'll do what you can to make sure we'll succeed" Gabriella thinks up on the spot, she doesn't know these people she cant really participate in this activity but she tried and Taissa seems to understand that and gives her a polite smile and nod.

"Flex, I think you're very strong and like how you never back down on your opinions" Taissa says making it Gabriella's turn to smile and nod.

Somehow after tassia Gabriella lands face to face with Natalie, who's staring down at her with big eyes, her pupils dilated by ten fold. The two girls just stare at each other for a second not knowing what to say or who to start when Natalie breaks the stare off by giggly softly.

"I think you're prettyyy," Natalie giggles playing with Gabriella's hair "and I think about that night a lottt" Natalie adds on still playing with the other girls hair, her words slurring a little bit clearly on something judging from the state she's in, knowing that Natalie is saying this while under the influence leaves a small pang in Gabriella's chest, but it goes ignored.

Gabriella freezes at that last sentence her mouth going dry, disposable, your sick, get away from your sick, starts screaming in her head, she feels it again, she felt it when she carved that stick into her back, she felt it when bobby farleigh made up the rumour of her being a dyke, she felt it when her and Nat kissed at that party, and she felt it when she saw allies bone. She needs to leave she needs to get out she can't be sick.

Gabriella pushes Natalie's hand off her and speed walks away, ignoring the confused where are you going and come backs of the others and especially ignoring the look on Natalie's face, she needs to get home, she can't be here anymore.

On her way home she tries to force her brain to think about nationals, nationals is all that matters, not Jackie's stupid line up, not Natalie's constant reminder of that party, not her parents marriage, just nations the rest of it all was just disposable.

Notes:

Word count (5844) hey guys so this is the first chapter!! I don't have a set in plan for the story yet but it is going to follow the episodes quite closely but also with some cannon divergence cause yeah Travis inst there but instead my girl Gabriella. Also non of the things in this story said about lgbt+ is meant to harm or reflection of my feelings, it is just Gabriella is a closeted lesbian in the 90s she's gonna have some internalised homophobia so sorry about the words used. But anyways I hope this whole chapter made sense and you guys enjoyed it, idk when chapter two will be out cause this took me awhile to write but hopefully sometime soon :))) byeee.