#real men say OKIE DOKIE

[dailykeiji]

dysphoria’s gotten so bad recently that i briefly felt dysphoric saying ‘okie dokie’ until i remembered that’s like keiji’s favorite thing to say. thank you keiji for destroying gender dysphoria

[chengrioshi]

She’s crazy but she’s mine

Pt1 - Sakura & Endo

Wb boys with a girlfriend who has a bit of a *short temper* 🤭

(This was supposed to include Ume, Suo and Kaji too but I lost all my progress when I updated my iOS so I’ll have to put them in a pt2🙁)

cw: implied fem reader, cursing, sakuras contains a pervvvv

❄︎ Haruka Sakura - with a short tempered girlfriend? LMAO, he ain’t restraining nobody, he’s just as bad🤭

“The fuck is he looking at?” Sakura hisses, his eyes narrowed and glaring at some random middle aged man that just so happens to be looking at you like he wants to rip your clothes off.

“Eh? Who?” You whip your head around, searching for the culprit, quickly finding him and twisting your face in utter disgust as he winks at you and bites his lip in exaggeration. Ew.

Your reaction only seems to spur the stranger on, as he looks you up and down once again before taking a step in your direction and declaring that you were ‘the hottest piece of ass that he’d ever seen’.

You hated men like this.

“You slimy old pervert, how fucking dare you?” You growl, storming toward the man ready give him a good hard slap.

Meanwhile, Sakura is furious. He sees nothing but red. “Motherfucker.” Was all he managed to spit out before he storms toward his target, pulling back his fist, preparing to knock this fucker out.

“Nu-uh.” A voice sounds behind you, before your arm is grabbed, and Sakura’s loaded punch was stopped mid-flight. Togame.

“Need a damn leash on the both of you.” He sighs, wrapping an arm around both yours and Sakura’s shoulders, pulling you away with him.

You continue to shout a string of profanities at the man behind you, Sakura also promising to kick his teeth in next time he sees him.

Thank the lord for Togame.

❄︎ Yamato Endo - as long as you’re in no danger, Endo is NOT restraining you when your temper flares. He’s gonna sit back and enjoy.

“Hello? He said no ketchup on his burger.” You attempt to explain to the rude ass waitress who is in no way, shape or form paying any attention to you.

You see her side eye you, then turn back to her coworker to continue whatever conversation they were having. Anddddd you were raging.

“Okie dokie. You know what…” you say to yourself as you pick up the burger from Endo’s plate and storm over to where the waitress stands.

Endo smirks and leans forward in his chair for a better view of the show. He knows what’s coming, his stubborn little brat of a girlfriend has quite the temper on her.

You get close enough to fire a good aim, swing back your arm and launch the burger straight at the bitches head. Bullseye.

“Are you fucking kidding me? What’s your problem?” She curses at you, whilst you cross your arms proudly and admire your work.

“Oopsie,” you pout back before pointing behind you at your boyfriend who was still watching you in awe. “He said no ketchup.”

“Okay, Miss, you need to go.” The restaurant manager spawns from nowhere.

You whip around to face him. “Do you want a face full of fucking ketchup too? Because I’ll give you one.” You’re squaring up to him before you even register his appearance. You storm back to your table, pick up your burger and just as you’re about to volley it across the restaurant, the food is whipped out of your hand. Endo is finally stepping in.

“That’s enough now,” He coos as though he was attempting to tame a toddler. “We’ll go somewhere else.”

“Asshole deserves a burger to the face.” You flip off the waiter before following Endo out the door.

Note:

IM SOOOO SORRY I LOST THE REST ☹️

I can write them back up real quick, but I wanted to put this out first so there’s at least something🤍

[zackxsnyder]

Hii! Okie dokie so I really need help! So I wanna attract a man like a manly man like someone strong and dominant and I dunno how! I’m still young (18) but I want something long term and I’m super feminine at least I think so? I dunno what to do maybe appearance wise or personality or just habits I should do cause I wanna have like such a cute little intimate and domestic relationship with proper gender roles in place ya know? It’s just like soooo hard! Please and thank you!!💕💕

Little Kitten, this Ask has no business being this cute, especially in front of a nasty controlling animal like Me.

Alright, I'll give a mellow answer. If anyone else wants an answer more aligned with the real Me (what's on My blog), ask away.

First of all, you're already doing well. You know what you want and are aiming at it, that's very important in romantic endeavors. I also bet you already have a cute, feminine bubbly little streak in you. Most girls your age don't have such a good grasp on themselves and their desires.

Attracting that kind of guy is a matter of leaning into your femininity. It's like complementary energies: the more feminine, demure and sweet you become, the more you'll attract a Man who's got a strong instinct to protect and a dominating leader streak.

The other important thing that I can't stress enough is to know how to distinguish between posture and substance. Women in general, and young girls especially, are susceptible to men who put up a front, who talk and portray themselves as confident and experienced, but lack a spine or maturity. Since you're emotional and lack rationality, a guy who can stir up your emotions in the right way (cocky banter, teasing and flirting then ignoring you, etc.) will get you to obsess over him and give more credit to his words than what would be wise. Here's a rule of thumb: pay attention to their actions, past and present, more than their words. It'll be hard for you at your age, especially while dealing with emotions, but it's necessary. If a man's actions and words don't match, it's a bad sign. It'll conversely be a good way to detect someone who's truly a Man of His word: strong, responsible, experienced, family-oriented, etc.

Practical advice for this little good girl:

A) Appearance:

Dress feminine (according to your budget of course): no baggy jeans, no "baggy-sweatpants-and-hoodies-and-walking-shoes-because-it's-sooo-practical-and-comfy", etc. Your style is feminine in its different declinations, cute-sexy-elegant-"slutty when He wants it". Dresses (sundresses, body fitting ones, etc), skirts, heels/girly shoes or boots, blouses, elegant knitwear, etc. Take inspiration from social media or tradwife Tumblrs.

Take care of yourself: diet, exercise, hair, skin, don't go too heavy on the make up and nails (keep it natural looking), etc.

B) Personality:

Sweet, kind, respectful: towards everybody (I often pay attention to how people treat staff at a restaurant or cashiers, etc. How you treat people you don't want anything from says a lot about you), don't trash talk or gossip others (of course, if you're in the right, you can confide in Him), be interested and engaged in the conversation, ask Him questions about what He seems to be passionate about or proud of in His life, don't talk endlessly or nag Him, don't question Him about where He goes and who He sees.

Smile and follow Him: a dominant Man will spontaneously lead, you just have to welcome it and show appreciation for His efforts and the thought He puts into them. It goes a long way.

Nurturing and soothing and agreeable: instead of needlessly confrontational and opinionated (no, that's not "having a personality" or being intelligent or being "your own person", that's just seeming insecure and rage-filled. You can discuss while being open and friendly. Moreover, you don't need to discuss complicated matters, it's a turn off and He'll value other Men's opinions if He needs input, keep it bubbly and listen).

Express your interest in old-fashioned/traditional gender role: it might be difficult for you to discuss it with other girls (I'd advise you not to if your environment is too brainwashed, until you can detect that one of them is also a good girl), but I mean that you can give hints to the Man: tell Him that you like how He takes charge and lead, that you like supporting and pleasing and relying on your Man, that you like a Masculine Man. He'll get the hint. If He seems like He shares your views, you will then be more upfront.

Communicate on sex: at your age, there's a lot of miscommunication happening and both sides walk on eggshells and end up frustrated. Despite your lack of experience, show that you consider it an important part of a relationship and that you want to work hard to satisfy Him and understand His needs.

C) Habits:

Learn to cook and clean: and get better at it. Learn how to meal-prep for the week (handy for you, and will be appreciated by a Man who works out [I can vouch]), try a recipe every week and invite a friend to share the meal, and serve them (according to your budget, of course. Being savvy with money and knowing how to grocery shop on a budget is a useful skill for a homemaker). Learn to iron a Man's shirt. In general, learn to serve, you'll find pleasure and purpose in it, it's hardwired into a woman's nature.

Follow some Tumblr Tradwife/Tradgirl/Stepford wife blogs: for ideas about behaviors ( welcoming Him back home/supporting Him emotionally, etc.), speech, aesthetic, etc.

Seek out that Man according to what you imagine Him to be: if you like a Man who's physically strong, hang out with your Male friends who work out and have a personality you like because they might have friends who are like them and who will charm you, apply this to any traits/habits you'd like Him to have (smart, outdoorsy, etc.)

Be patient: If you want something long term, be a good girl and wait and seek. It only needs to work once. It's hard to come by such natural relationships nowadays, but He'll come along.

Good girl.

You can reach out to Me through DMs if you have specific questions.

[mrlidocaine]

Okie dokie, I cannot for the life of me find the request but bless your soul Anon this was so fun, seeing as my own Gramma told me selkie stories growing up.

It was a Childe x Selkie reader but I left it pretty lax so it's not character specific. Reader is female in this one. Enjoy y'all

TW: None I don't think

I will do as men do to seals

The sailor watched her with eyes bluer than the ocean, although they held no life. She was dozing against a rock near the shore; tucked away from sight the same way the speckled sealskin was tucked on her lap. He watched her with keen eyes, her beauty enrapturing and with the grace of a shark he snuck up and snatched the sealskin from her resting form. He held it up to the sun, the golden rays shining through the silky grey pelt and making it appear transparent. Her eyes opened and oh, what a cruel awakening, to see half of you held in the scarred hands of a hunter. He rolled up the soft grey and tucked it into his belt for now, turning his ocean eyes to her own.

"Say goodbye to the ocean." He stated simply, walking closer to her. She was caught, she was his now. She opened her mouth and nothing fell but salty tears, salt from the ocean herself. He reached out his calloused hand and brushed her quiet tears away before raising his fingers to his mouth and gently pressing his lips to the sea salt, unable to believe she was real, she was real and she was his now. He moved his hand back to her face, fingers slipping under her jaw and tilting her chin up, strength hidden under a terrifyingly soft touch. "Say it."

"Goodbye, goodbye." She hiccuped as her tears flowed smoothly down her skin and he smiled, pleased and proud and predatory. He ran his thumb over her cheek and his eyes looked like they softened. Almost. "You're mine." He whispered, he promised. A decree, an oath, a law. He moved back and his gaze hardened, kindness that didn't really exist falling away like stars in the morning sky. He grasped at his knife and tugged out her seal skin to hold one item in each hand, the sharp silver and soft grey so close in colour. She stared in horror, soft eyes widening and a shaky hand reaching out as she stumbled up and towards him. He slashed at the pelt, spots shredded and turning to slices, silky fur reduced to ribbons. That horrible thing was gone now and he laughed and she cried.

"Look what I've done. Look! The ocean does not own you anymore." He stated, a feral glint in his eyes. She stared, her mind buzzing and brain blank, hand held out for something that no longer existed, something she'd never get back. He stepped forward and pocketed his knife before tugging off his own shirt, dropping it over her in a mock resemblance of her own coat and scooping her up into his arms gently, as if he was not a monster or a shark, not a man that preyed on pretty seals. "I am your ocean now."

[princessfaerygia]

been losing some followers lately prob cus my journalling. okie dokie ppl i enjoy myself and describing my observations on experiencing subjective life here. 🌊

last night my boyfriend had his friend come over again and he was lewd. they even teamed up against me and said i was in the wrong about something i know for a fact i was correct about. this was it:

my bfs ex asked what drink i want since they didn't have "ice pop" prime flavor.

my phone was on silent so i didn't notice text until later. whence i noticed it i texted "strawberry banana" and at that exact moment she was calling me to receive my response since she was waiting for it at gas station.

well here goes my mean but valuable boyfriend pestering me and pestering over "why did she call" , "what did u say to her" i said idk what she said cus i had an ear plug in (am weird and sensitive to sound & enjoy dulling peoples loudness) but i know that i said strawberry banana and she hung up.

then my bf gets so mad as usual and his 43 year old biker ~rough around the edges~, lewd friend says that im in the wrong as well and "starting shit"

what the actual fluff? sorry men but i dislike you other than my dad. my dad's so jolly and gentle , gets taken advantage of at his work. he has a bad knee and parkinson's but his work won't let him walk with his walker because it "scrapes the floor". that's discrimination. so my poor golden hearted dad has to struggle to walk with a cane, often fumbling and sometimes falling down. it's scary and sad and i know im supposed to go back and take care of family but im totally in love my god. boyfriend said he don't mind if i don't participate w his friends much and if i dont like them, just that i have to boost our self esteem as a couple and be respectful always. (apparently im one strange bitch lol) he says he will support me when im older as long as i'm his partner psychologically, spiritually, romantically~ ie i don't have to work at any of his upcoming businesses. just the usual stuff like me doing house chores which i enjoy.

my boyfriend gave me a back rub last night. it sucks he can't do my legs anymore cus they have peeling bleeding eczema scabs on the lower legs. i love my massages extra deep like deeper and firmer than you would believe and it's just not good for the wounds.

last night my boyfriend after massage i went to sleep he took shower and played video games. then suddenly in mid of night he starts moaning in pain waking me up. he had fever real real bad. we thought he was gonna die but he didn't it passed. i was crying so much.

i feel like i cry much more than the average person.

my dad texted me this morning free online classes (not interested been there done that) because he too, may be worried that i be on the streets homeless when i older. my astrology natal chart says im "resourceful" so hopefully i don't end up homeless when elderly.

love you guys so much.

remember, ~*NO MATTER WHAT*~:

you are precious. you are sacred.

[lazuli-writes]

What if Joffrey Waters was a hero?

summary: A extremely brief look on turning one of the most hated brats into someone decent.

pairing: none

genre: rabbit hole rambles

estimated word count:

a/n: Apologies, this is ancient as heck and as such almost all of my former information that made up the rest of this au is a tad bit gone and nonexistent. I hope y’all can enjoy what little I have to offer. Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)

©little-lazuli. Do not copy, repost, or translate without permission

Okie dokie, today’s topic of discussion follows this small tiny idea I had. What if Joffrey was a hero and lemme get y’all into it. This is gonna be a lot of gray areas and ooc-ness. But anyways, let’s start.

So I have three fixed aspects that changes the course of Joffrey’s story: 1) Joffrey discovers the truth of his heritage, 2) Joffrey lives on the isle of faces for a time and 3) Joffrey changes his name. And let me explain why I picked these three. Joffrey needs something horribly drastic in my opinion to make his head spin, what other way to do that then for him to discover his dad is his mom’s brother. That’s rough buddy. The isle of faces was a place I always wanted to explore. And Joffrey’s name change was a move I thought would be perfectly symbolic of him taking on a new life and also, the name “Joffrey” makes me gag every time I say out loud. So now let’s go on.

Boom Joffrey walks into a room and sees Cersei and Jaime doing the “utu bang bang” (islander term for sexc times) and his mind cannot handle the mental fallout. At first he’s filled with rage. He thinks his uncle is assaulting his mom. Trying and failing to attack his uncle who holds him still. Cersei tries and fails to comfort her son. He’s disgusted at the revelation that Jaime is his father. And does the only thing he can think of. He runs.

Fleeing a castle, then a city and then an entire territory under the control of one’s “parents” is a hard thing Joffrey comes to discover. Hiding in the red keep for a couple days to be alone with his thoughts is something that aids in helping Joffrey with digesting the news. Escaping kings landing in an effort to separate himself further was another hard feat. He wasn’t just trying to escape his mother so that she could try to feed him more lies. Cause turns out, his entire existence was a lie. He was a bastard born of incest. His father wasn’t his father. His mother and uncle were living it up. And it was clear that Joffrey’s life could never be the same again now that he was inadvertently enlightened to this whole damn conspiracy. Everything went out of whack real quick, too quick for Joffrey to properly process and accept. So instead of competing with his true parents in trying to maintain a secret, he instead decided “why not run instead?”

So he ran and ran and ran some more. Life on the road was EYE OPENING for the former prince. He didn’t know peasants really lived in such… poverty. It was disgusting at first. But soon when Joffrey discovered what it felt to be truly hungry in the same sense as some of the smallfolk did, cleanliness seemed liked the last thing on his mind. Bridlewood was a quaint village that Joffrey had found himself in eventually. The food he stole was really good there and he sold the last of the jewels he had for a night in an inn. But of course that lasted like five seconds before he had to go on running once again from his mother’s men.

Whitewalls or at least the ruined lands of whitewalls was not so much of a nice place. Though the land was salted in the distant past, some tough weeds seemed to grow anew. The castle’s foundations were decrepit and broken, but just enough to provide a stable place for Joffrey to nap. Right on the edge of the gods eyes, smallfolk were always passing by, whether they were camping on the grounds, sailing up and down the god’s eye or just traveling through. Obtaining food and water became less of a hassle with his stay there. By this point it has been months since he took flight from kings landing. Joffrey’s biggest concern was always being dragged back to face his mother who Joffrey genuinely believed to be sick in the head.

That was another fear Joffrey had come to realize eventually. Was he sick like his mother? He did not find any of his family members attractive. Then again no one caught Joffrey’s eye. He knew deep down he thought some were enough to give another look to, but the idea of being a romantic relationship with anyone was weird and uncomfy for Joffrey to consider. It wasn’t long before Joffrey’s temporary haven at Whitewalls were interrupted by the coming Lannister and Baratheon search parties that have become almost routine throughout much of the kingdoms, all searching for the lost prince.

So what did Joffrey do, run. Again. Well, not so much run but instead stole a raft and rowed himself across the gods eye. It was nighttime when the soldiers came so when he finally reached shore the first thing Joffrey did was pass out, exhausted from the manual labor he still had not become accustomed to due to his pampered origins. And it was these same pampered origins that made him freak out when he woke up in a cell of sorts. He thought that his mom had finally caught him and for a split second believed that she was gonna kill him to keep the secret. But no, turns out it was the green men of the isle of faces who had captured him.

For the sake of this large tangent of a what if, imma summarize Joffrey’s time in the isle of faces. So going off of the aging of the show, Joffrey was born in 282 AC, when he is twelve (294 AC) he leaves and spends months on the run before winding up on the isle of faces. Here he lives as a smallfolk amongst the green men. He learns how magic exists in the world and how everyone has a role to play in the war to come. Joffrey at the behest of the green men decides to take on a new identity, a new name for the new man he is to become so he takes on the name Jason (yes how unoriginal but that’s not the point). Now known as Jason, Jason learns the basic survival skills of any person lingering in the wilderness in Westeros. He learns how to start a fire and hunt using a bow and arrow. He learns how to fish and even skin game to make him clothes. And it’s through these strenuous acts that Jason learns to humble himself. Jason still has his issues, mostly mommy and daddy issues and how he lacks the ability to maintain trust in those he lacks a relationship with. Only few of the green men people are able to maintain a friendship with the new Jason because of his trust issues.

After spending three years on the isle of faces, Jason has become almost a man grown in the eyes of Westeros. He had learned to take of care himself and have even witnessed the inner magics of the Green Men. His greatest experience is when he was given a prophecy by one of the green seers on the islands;

“You will be the salvation of many animals in the forest young one. A lion, a wolf, a falcon and a trout. All of whom you will save. All of whom will betray you in the end”

The prophecy is something that shakes him to the core though he’d never… and now my train of thought is completely gone because I started this four years ago and found it again only now. Apologies, I truly didn’t want to end it here but I’m literally drawing ten thousand blanks on continuing this au so for now this will have to suffice. Please share any thoughts on how this au should play out cause I do remember that the people he saved was Jaime, Sansa, Sweetrobin and Edmure Tully. Some other prophecies I had pertaining to this au included :

Green men prophecies:

“You will be the salvation of many animals in the forest. A lion, a wolf, a falcon and a trout. All of whom, will betray you in the end”

“Four gold lions will dance with a dragon, one lion will flee as green flames fly, another will dance until the dragon dies, one will wear a golden crown and the last will crumble to the ground”

“Your gold crown is muddled with truths you will never have assured”

“You will always find refuge in the lands of the emerald crown”

Ghost of High Heart Prophecy:

“I see an ocean of broken fires is where the pride is waiting. A pride with a roar so powerful, even the dragons will calm at it’s sight, but only barely. Only waters can claim the pride, and with that pride, the waters will swallow up the last dragon in the world and see to the end of a kingdom”

Old Crone of Valyria Prophecy:

“If one wishes to go east, they must go west, only there will the waters see forth the future it desires. But be warned, yellow flames, red flames and green flames will come, waiting to swallow a man whole”

Joffrey’s Prophetic Dreams

“I saw a frail little falcon, and it was singing to the forest… trying to at least. But another bird, smaller but visibly stronger sang the same song as the little falcon. The other bird would sing so loud that the falcon could not be heard”

“A herd of horses are abusing a small wolf until a lion comes to slaughter all of the horses”

Do with that as you will, thank you for reading and again feel free to share any thoughts and possibilities of the au, thank you and bye!

[tricornonthecob]

Oki doki

Last read: Not fanfic? And actually all the way through...? Honestly I don't keep track so its probably one of the following: Redcoat by Bernard Cornwell, Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer, or Fanny Hill by John Cleland (I humbly submit a posthumous suggestion for the subtitle: Whores are People, Too!)

Current Read: An Indigenous People's History of the United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz, Age of Reason by Thomas Paine, and Authority by Jeff Vandermeer

Next Read: Wherever the spirit takes me I guess.

I would like to add an additional category:

Abandoned Read But Want To Pick Up Again If I Could Remember To Do So: Mysteries of Udolpho by Ann Radcliffe (ya girl is trying to get through it,) The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë (bro I'm like 90% through and its really really REALLY fucking good I'm so mad I keep forgetting to finish,) Dangerous Liaisons by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos (I'm trying but I really can't stand epistolary novels,) Evelina by Frances Burney (or was it Cecilia I was reading??)

and an oddly specific category:

Read and very much think is overrated, but could probably write an essay on how its an interesting insight into the cultural after-effects of WW1 and very clearly a novel meant to eviscerate capitalism: Lady Chatterly's Lover by D.H. Lawrence, honestly there's so much griping about how Men Aren't Men Any More and D.H. Lawrence repeatedly not knowing how to pleasure a woman (buddy if the woman says she's a lesbian she by definition probably doesn't want to fuck you??? Why??? Would you think??? She would??? And if she isn't a lesbian but is super not responsive? Maybe? Stop? Fucking? Her? And? Ask? What? She? Would? Like? For real, all the problematic non-consent aside in Fanny Hill, it at least seems like Cleland has actually seen a woman climax and not fake it.)

anyway tagging uhhhhhh.... @discocandles, @sarahhillips, @naapurinkissa, @connectingconstellations, @meerawrites, and anybody who wants to, no pressure

oh jiminy i got tagged by @wingsyouburn. i'm going to try and go for only reads i've done for fun because lit major

Last Read: Borne by Jeff VanderMeer. I mean what can I say, I really like his work, but since this WAS for a class I just wish I had more time to sit with all of it especially Strange Bird. But I really liked this one and I loved the ending.

Current Read: American Brujeria by J Allen Cross. Technically research for Jackrabbit Brujo, technically ouch ouchies oh owchies my heritage ow ;-; but i had to return it to the library bc someone had it on hold, so i'll resume reading later

Next Read: Probably something by Shirley Jackson!

tagging @lhinelle, @chaotic-history, @aconstantode, and @persante!

[canirove]

Red & Blue | Chapter 18

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

6 months later...

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this."

"You'll be fine, don't worry" Aaron says, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Just take a deep breath. Inhale... Exhale."

"It doesn't work."

"You've only done it once."

"Whatever" I say, getting free of his hands and starting to walk in circles again. "Why am I so nervous?"

"Well, you only get married once" he shrugs.

"If you are lucky" I reply.

"You and Mason are."

"If you say so..."

"If you are not sure about it, we can always run away and go back to the hotel."

"I don't think they'll allow that. Did you see the officiant? He looks like he would run after us and bring us back."

"He looked a bit scary, yes. And that's our cue" Aaron says, the music starting to play. "Shall we?" he says, offering me his arm.

"Let's do this" I say, taking a deep breath before walking into the small chapel.

A Vegas wedding. I can't believe they all convinced me to do it.

"It isn’t a real wedding" Leah said. "Think about it as a big party before the season properly starts, an opportunity for everyone to dress fancy."

And they all have indeed chosen some very fancy outfits. Since both Arsenal and Chelsea teams did the pre-season in the US, the guests are a mix of their men and women teams, friends and teammates all together on our last free day before going back to England.

"You look beautiful" Mason says when I make it to where he is standing, Leah by his side.

"You look very handsome yourself" I reply.

"Alrighty, let's start this party" the scary officiant dressed as Elvis says. "We are gathered here today to marry these two hotties. But before we get into the actual business, does anyone have anything to say against this union?"

"Chilly, I can't see what is going on. Can you move the camera a bit more, bro?" Declan says somewhere. He isn't here, his team doing pre-season in Europe, and Ben is facetiming him so he doesn't miss it.

"Should I ignore that?" the officiant asks.

"Yes, keep going" Mason says, trying not to laugh.

"Okie dokie. So, British dude. Do you take this hot British chick as your future wife?"

"I do" he says with a smile that is all dimples.

"British chick, do you take this British dude as your future husband?"

"I do" I say, trying not to think much about it.

"Great!" the officiant says, clapping his hands. "Do you have rings?"

"Oh, yes" Leah says. Because she actually took us to a jewelry shop this morning to get some wedding bands.

"Then go ahead, dude. Make her your Sam. Or your Frodo. Whatever you like best."

"I am the Sam of the relationship" I say, offering Mason my right hand. We don't want to wear them on the left and have people talking about it.

"Then I guess I'm the one who saves the world" he says, giving me his hand.

"Debatable" the officiant says. "But, by the power the State of Nevada and the online course I took have given me, I now pronounce you wife and husband! Ladies first" he winks. "You may make out!"

After that, Mason and I kiss, and everyone in the chapel stars clapping and cheering.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

"Should we start calling you Mrs. Mount?" Aaron asks with a teasing smile.

"I'm not changing my last name. Fake wedding or not" I say.

"Yes girl!" someone that sounds like Kai says. We are celebrating at a club, everyone scattered around.

"What about the kids?" Aaron asks again. "Will they have both your last names? Can I be the godfather on one of them? I know Declan and Mason's brother also are options, but..."

"I think I preferred you when you kept making jokes about our sexual life" I say.

"Oh, I'm gonna keep making those, don't worry. But now that you are married..."

"Fake married, Aaron. Fake.”

"Words. It doesn't matter. Are you moving in together? A married couple should live together. And..."

"Mason, can we leave, please?" I say, ignoring Aaron's rant. "I love him and I don't want to have to kill him or something. Not on our fake wedding day."

"We could call a taxi and go back to the hotel. Start our wedding night."

"That sounds perfect."

"Wait, where are you going?" Aaron asks as Mason and I get up from the sofa where we were sitting.

"Back to the hotel. We must practice how to make those babies you want to be the godparent of" I say.

"Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Enjoy your wedding night" he winks.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

"I don't think we are gonna have a wedding night" I say, resting my head on Mason's shoulder, the movement of the car making me feel very sleepy.

"I don't need one. And it's a fake wedding, remember?" he says, kissing my head.

"It is."

"We can have a wedding morning, tho."

"We'll see" I say, trying not to yawn. "If you bring me breakfast in bed..."

"Deal" he chuckles.

"Good. Now I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me up when we make it to the hotel" I say, curling on my seat.

"I will. Good night, fake wife."

"Good night, fake husband."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

[funtimebunnyblog]

Dumb gen z so introducing pillar men to 21st century memes. Please.

Okie dokie! 🥰 But only because you said please! 😙😂 Will they be able to handle the weight of this knowledge that will be thrust upon them?! 😱 Or will our favourite four crumble? 🤔

The Pillarmen are introduced to Memes... 🤣

(Under the cut for length)

Kars:

•While he understands the concept (sort of) Kars doesn't understand the humor in them.

•Not at all.

•And that frustrates him to no end.

•Memes were like a whole language to Humans it would seem, a culture even he would go so far as to say, but unlike any other tongue of the world he can speak this was a whole different level.

•And it only seemed to get worse as time went bye.

•Each time a new one of these "Memes" came out and they were posted all over the place, he just would crinkle his nose while reading them.

•He'll come to you, frustrated beyond belief and asks "What does this even mean?!" Pushing his laptop in your face for you to view a new crossover meme on his screen in hopes you can help him in deciphering this weird code.

•When you laugh and tell him that he basically needs to understand 3 entirely different Memes spanning all the way from 3 to 6 years back to understand this particular one he just gives up.

•He can't even tell whether Humans have regressed or progressed anymore because of this.

Esidisi:

•Esidisi understands memes no problem.

•Unlike Karsq, he actually finds them very amusing! The jokes are very straightforward in his eyes.

•This man is 100% a memelord.

•His humor has been this way for millennium and yet it's a perfect match with this generations.

•More often than not it's him laughing over them and showing you them rather than the other way around.

•The more strange they are the funnier.

•Entertainment is the best when it's randomly generated.

•This man was shitposting by creating sureal, confusing and frightening artwork of masks and vampires on walls in temples overseas eons ago.

•If you buy him a shirt with a meme on it he'll probably want to wear it everytime he goes out.

•If he runs out of memes to laugh at he'll make some of his own.

•They'll most definitely become popular overnight.

Wamuu:

•Memes confuse Wamuu.

•They confuse him so much he has spent many hours just sitting and pondering them.

•The poor Man just can't wrap his head around the unique message each one is trying to convey.

•The punchline of them just seem to just go over his head everytime.

•"I do not understand," he says, blinking, as you keep laughing and laughing.

•What did real estate have to do with taking the last slice of pizza? Did these Humans not realize that they had misspelled the word "Stocks" there?

•He never really understood Humans before but now these sorts of things only added to that very vague understanding he held.

•It's better not to try and explain them further to him because that will do nothing but keep him up at night.

•Even though he doesn't get it though, he'll send any Memes he stumbles across your way since he knows you enjoy them.

•That in itself is enough to make him happy.

Santana:

•Much like Kars and Wamuu, Santana initially doesn't understand Memes.

•However, much like Esidisi, he picks up on it all very quickly.

•To be honest, you'll never truly be sure whether Santana fully understands the humor of it but he has picked up on enough of the concept that it's become somewhat of a second language to him.

•He's learned our language in such little time.

•With Santana's very dry and usually inexpressive personality, that only makes it somehow ten times funnier to hear him talk and make references at random.

•"Look at this pigeon." Santana says pointing to a picture of a butterfly.

•He knows that you'll understand exactly what he means.

•He finds himself quite liking that this "language" that Humans have created amongst one another because it is so easy and so very different from anything he's ever seen before.

•Saying one phrase, making a certain face, showing one image out of context and suddenly everyone understood exactly what you meant; he dared to call it almost genius.

•And that was a BIG step for someone like Santana with his narrow views on Human intelligence and it's inferiority.

[lollypopsx]

Flatmate!Harry: I’ll Make It Up To You - Part 3

Please like if it’s not too shabby, re-blog for anyone who you think may enjoy this and follow if you want to see more! Any suggestions are happily taken for future writing! I love you all! be safe and be kind x

Part 1 - Part 2 

Word Count: 3.9K 

Warnings: I think slight swearing, One sentence of smutty language. 

A/N-The bold bits are a flashback! 

————————— 

 You were spending your Wednesday afternoon doing housework and cleaning up your apartment. In the last two weeks, you had been helping Harry here and there with writing some songs, but you never wanted to take any credit for his work. You were just happy to help. 

You’d both let the mess pile up a little bit, mainly paper thrown everywhere, scribbled with random lyrics and instrument chords. You had vowed to yourself that you weren’t going to write anymore or get yourself lost in your musical dream world, but Harry always seemed to manage to get you sucked in to help.

You pick up your phone to dial H, letting it ring a few times.

“Y/N? Are you okay? Everything fine?” Harry answers worriedly.

You couldn’t help but chuckle “Everything is fine, I just phoned to see if you needed any of that paper on the piano or if it can be thrown?”

“Erm, maybe just stick it in a pile in my room and I’ll go through and sort it later. What are you doing?”

“I’m cleaning our pigsty of an apartment Haz!” You laugh and smile. 

“Look at you being a wife” He teases and chuckles. 

“Shut up, or you’ll be my next victim! Do you want me to wash your bedding too?”

“Ohhh yes please! You’re an angel!”

“Someone’s got to be” You smile. “And your spare sheets are in the drawer under your bed?” You hold your phone to your ear with your shoulder as you pile the thrown papers together. 

“Yeah I think I- Erm...a-actually I can put the sheets on when I’m home!” He says quickly. You were slightly taken back by the change in his tone. “Are you sure?”

“Y-yeah....yeah I...I forgot I’d bought some new ones a while ago and they’re...they’re still in my car” He fakes a chuckle, although you soon became oblivious to his cover story.

“Did you manage to get those silky black ones?!” You gasp.

“Y-yeah...yeah I did”...fuck. “I gotta go, Jeff’s pestering me to sign some stuff. I’ll see you later”

“Okie dokie, see you later. Text me when you’re leaving the studio and I’ll start dinner.” 

“Thanks babe, laters” He sighs softly and hangs up. “I need to order black silk sheets on Amazon asap...” He groans.

“You still haven’t told her?!” Jeff sighs, his head shaking. “Harry you need to do it sooner or later...”

“I know but she might freak out!” Harry’s brows furrowed as he kicks the floor softly. “Right...let’s keep going” He sighs.

You cleaned the apartment top to toe, and you couldn’t help admit that you did feel much better. It felt cosier than before, and on this particular day, the sun was glowing, warming your skin through the window.

You promised yourself you wouldn’t do this. You promised yourself two weeks ago that you wouldn’t be doing this. You promised yourself that you wouldn’t put your mind back into your past and be sitting writing songs about old feelings and passed experiences. But here you were...

Using the back of the scraps of paper from Harry’s pile, you were spilling out every word that came to mind, like every feeling in your chest was finally released. Your fingers glided across the piano keys flawlessly with the words you had pieced together, falling perfectly from your mouth. The weight being lifted made you wish you had done this months ago.

—————————

“Come on babe, everyone’s already waiting for us at the party...your birthday party which me and all your friends have thrown for you and we’re late!” Your boyfriend Adam teased as he smiled, “You look great” He chuckles as he grabs his jacket. 

“Okay, I’m ready! Let’s go. I can’t believe you guys all managed to book out Club 21 for me!” You grin as you followed him into the taxi towards the club.

“You dropped my hand while dancing, so I left you out there standing...crestfallen on the stage with...champagne problems

You had a cheap ring for it...my picture in your wallet...but my heart was glass and you dropped it...now I have champagne problems” 

The music was pounding as you danced around happily with all your friends on the dance floor. You were having the best night of your life so far. Surrounded by all of yours and Adam’s best friends. You pant as you escape the crowded dance floor and head over to the bar, joining your friend Niall, and your best friend and flat mate Harry, who were both best friends too. 

“Hello birthday girl!” Niall grins and hugs you tightly, kissing your cheek. “It’s not my birthday yet!” You laugh and hug him tightly, then hugging Harry. “Not for another...57 minutes” Harry smiles.

“Have you guys seen Adam? He said he’d get me a drink and I haven’t seen him since!” You say over the music. “I think he’s in the toilet...I’ll go find him. H can get you a drink” Niall pats your back and heads to the men’s toilets.

“Did you tell your family the real reason? Or did you keep it in?...Your mum had splashed out on the bottle...now no ones celebrating”

“Dom  Pérignon, you brought it...but our friends never applauded...your hometown skeptics say it’s...champagne problems”

As Niall strolled into the toilets, he checked his hair in the mirror, noticing a pair of white trainers and red heels in the reflection, hidden behind a cubical door. He smirked and chuckled quietly until he heard “Ohhh fuck, Adam keep going” the female moaned softly. Surely not...there must be plenty of Adam’s in the club. “Mmm I haven’t been able to resist you since I arrived...fuck you’re so tight baby” Adam moaned. It was him. Niall felt the fury cause redness to his cheeks and it took all of his will power not the break the door down and beat Adam to a pulp. He knew where he needed to be most importantly.

His fists were clenched as he left and walked over to the bar “Y/N...” Niall couldn’t help the frown on his lips. You smile as you saw him come back “There you are, was he in there?” 

“Y/N I need to tell you something...” Niall gulped. You couldn’t help but feel like his expression said every word you had been so scared to hear. And he never had to say a word, as you saw Adam stumbling out the men’s bathroom, with an unknown female following out 10 seconds later. You had no words, everything you wanted to say...to scream. You wanted to cry. You wanted to punch something.

 “I’m going to fucking kill him” You heard a mutter from Harry. But you couldn’t react.

“Was it all for the money...or all for the show...I found out that you cheated so I had to go...I always thought I’d know the answer, ‘til you were on your knee and asked me”

You went to storm up to Adam but he was long gone. You had no clue where he had gone...was this it? Was that how he leaves us? As you turn back to Harry and Niall, their eyes were no longer on you, their dark, angry  eyes watching up at the stage. Adam appeared with a wide grin on his face.

“Where’s Y/N?” He calls out. If you hadn’t of just seen him fall out the bathroom with another girl, you would never have believed he could do something so breaking. “Adam...what are you doing?” You mumble, feeling tears in your eyes. Harry and Niall stood close behind you.

“Come up here baby” Adam grins, but before you could even attempt to run away, you were being pulled up onto stage by two of your other friends, who clearly didn’t know what had just happened. 

Was this it? Was he about to break up with you 45 minutes before your birthday...in front of all your friends? You couldn’t think of anything more embarrassing. But oh no, this was much worse.

"I was going to do this in 45 minutes...but unfortunately, one of our friends has to leave the celebrations early for work tomorrow...” Adam smiles brightly at you. You felt sick to your stomach. How could he have the audacity act like he hadn’t just cheated and broken your heart.

You were still in shock. Everything was happening so fast, that you didn’t focus until you realised Adam was on his knee. “Y/N Y/L/N...will you marry me?” He pulls out a small ring, that was clearly not going to fit you. It would definitely cut off your circulation!

The lights were bright in your eyes, as they reflected the tears threatening to spill. But they weren’t the happy tears you always dreamed you’d have at this moment. He pushed the ring up into your hand, silently begging you to take it. You don’t know why...but you held the ring in your hands loosely.

“H-how could you cheat on me...” You whisper, only loud enough for him to hear. You could see the guilt in his eyes as everyone was about to cheer, assuming you’d said yes...but the crowd quickly fell silent as you shook your head, you just wanted to run.

You rushed down the steps at the side of the stage and pushed through the crowd, your legs feeling like jelly as you crashed through the doors and ran...you just ran. The tears finally freed themselves as you let out heavy sobs.

You heard people shouting your name down the street but you couldn’t stop. You were scared to face whatever happened next. You ran and ran until you felt two arms grab you from behind “Hey...shhh c’mere it’s me” As soon as you heard Harry’s hushed tones, you stopped resisiting his grip. You turned into his chest and clutched his shirt, sobbing loudly as you wanted to fall into a pile there and then. His arms protectively tightened around you, his head resting ontop of yours.

“I got you...I’ve always got you. Niall’s getting the car and we’re taking you straight home” 

“...I could of made such a lovely wife...what a shame you fucked up my head... they said “you’ll find the real thing instead...and he’ll patch up the pieces you’ve shred.... and he’ll...hold my hand while dancing...I’ll never leave him standing, crestfallen on the stage with Champagne Problems”

The journey home was painfully silent apart from your sobs. Harry held you closely as Niall drove. “I’ll pop round tomorrow ok...text me if you need anything” Niall says to Harry, pressing a kiss to your forehead before you get out the car. “Thanks Ni” You mumble. “Anytime princess” He gives you a sweet smile before driving home. 

Harry gets you inside, you wipe your soaked cheeks with the back of your hand. You headed straight to the fridge intending to get some water, but instead you found two bottles of champagne which had been sat in the fridge since Christmas.

“Better late than never...” You mutter and take them to the sofa. You popped one open and took a large mouthful from the bottle. Harry brought in a hoodie of his for you, wrapping it around your arms as you suddenly burst into heavy sobs. “Why me?!” You scream into his chest.

“No you’re perfect...he doesn’t deserve you” He whispers, holding you close to him. “You don’t need him. You have me...and Niall”

You whimpered as you took swigs from your bottle very quickly. It tasted awful. But nothing tasted worse than heartbreak.

“Hey Y/N…happy birthday m’darling” he whispers “I’ll make sure you have the best day”

“A cheap ring in your pocket...her picture in your wallet...you won't remember all my...champagne problems

Have you forgotten all my champagne problems?

Now, his mum’s ring in his pocket...my picture in his wallet...he’ll never give me any...champagne problems

He helped to cure all of my champagne problems...”

The next morning, you woke with a heavy head. You found yourself quickly remembering the night before. You sat up slowly, feeling an arm tightly wrapped around your waist. You and Harry had fallen asleep on the sofa...you must have cried yourself to sleep after demolishing one and a half bottles of champagne.

“How are you feeling?” Harry whispers, his hand brushing your hair back gently. You stare at the ring on the table. “I...I don’t know. I never thought this would happen to me...I though this was it.” You mumble sadly. “I thought I was enough” You whisper silently. His heart broke and the ide that you felt you weren’t enough. “You will always be enough...” He frowns and holds you. Kissing your head. He’d never wished more than to have the ability to take someone’s pain away. 

“Y-you...you won’t leave me too will you Harry?” You sniffle, your head resting on his chest.

“Never...I’ll never leave you” He mutters into your hair.

“What if I’m alone forever...what if I can’t heal from this?” You whimper

“You’ll find it. I know you thought you did...but you’ll find the real thing instead, and whoever it is will patch your heart up. And you won’t ever need to leave him” He whispers reassuringly.

————————— 

 You play around with the last two versions of the chorus, completely oblivious to Harry’s presence in the doorway until you heard a small shuffle from that direction

Your head snapped up “Jesus Harry! I didn’t know you would be home yet...You scared the life out of me! What’s wrong?” You frown as you run up to him, throwing your arms up around his shoulders, noticing his furrowed brow and the sad frown on his lips.

“I...that was so beautiful Y/N...and it just reminds me of how much he hurt you...a-and you...y-you’ve grown so much” He whispers softly, his arms tightly wrapping around you. “You never deserve to be treated like that...and I still hear you crying some nights, I just couldn’t face seeing you that way and...and I-I knew you’d kill me if I barged in...” He mutters, his eyes grazing the floor, as you let out a small laugh. “And you wrote a song again...I’m so fucking proud” 

“It’s okay Harry...I’m okay now!” You whisper, holding his cheeks in your hands. “I just needed to do it. One final time, and that’s it now. I’m going to get a proper job and-”

“Y/N I need to talk to you.” Harry cuts you off. “I was planning on having this conversation with you in a much nicer setting...but I don’t think I can wait.”

This was it...you didn’t realise how much you had craved to hear those three words fall from Harry’s mouth after months of trying to convince yourself that you didn’t feel that way.

“I’ve got you a recording contract with me for the new album...I want you on it. It’s been sat under my bed for weeks ready to give to you but I was worried you’d say no-” Harry says nervously.

You almost didn’t realise what he’d said until it was too late and you already started speaking.

“Harry I love you too...I-” You gasp as your hand flies in front of your mouth. No. No. No no no. This was not happening! You had single handedly embarrassed the shit out of your self and ruined the rest of your life. You wanted the ground to swallow you whole and spit you out in Australia.

“W-what?” Harry froze, taken back by the sudden confession. He didn’t know what to say, but to say he was shocked was an understatement.

“What...” You tried to act natural. Wishing to take back the last 5 seconds. “Oh...that’s erm...that would be a good read...you can just slide it under my door and I’ll read it in 3-5 working days.” You mutter quickly. You didn’t  slipping past him, to disappear into your bedroom.

“Y/N...wait!” His hand grabs your wrist “...you love me?” His gaze fell soft into yours. You thought of every excuse to get out of this situation, as scared as you was to admit it...it was out now. 

“Y-yeah...” you whisper, staring into his eyes, praying to make some sense of how he felt towards you. You so badly wanted him to speak, but the silence hanging between the two of you was deafening. You needed to know.

“D-do...do you...Do you love me Harry?” Your voice croaked. 

Of course he did...

“I-I don’t know...” You couldn’t help but feel your heart shatter some more, the sparkle in your eye slowly fading. And at that moment, you know you had ruined the best friendship of your life. You prepared yourself for Harry to leave the room, pack a bag and go to stay at Niall’s. But he just stood there, analysing your face intensely. You began to pull your hand away from his and run quickly.

“No...wait! Y/N I didn’t mean it like that I just...Well you always had Adam...and you’ve always been my best friend...and then when you guys split up, I...I was so angry because I knew I could never do that to you, and I wanted to change that so badly, but I never wanted to my feelings to get in the way of our friendship. I don’t ever want to loose you Y/N...I always thought I just wanted what I can’t have...until I knew I wanted to protect you for the rest of my life...I love you...I’ve always loved you Y/N, I just didn’t want to ruin anything...” He whispers, his bright eyes sparking as the warm sunset glow flooded your apartment.

“H-have I ruined it all....” You whimper softly, feeling your breath getting stuck in your throat.

“Never...” He whispers, one of his hands cupping your cheek, and the other locking into the side of your neck as you felt soft tears slipping down your cheeks. You had never been so terrified of losing someone. But that worry was soon washed away when you felt Harry’s soft pink lips press against yours. Sparks were flying through your blood as you wasted no time kissing him back with every ounce of passion until you couldn’t breath.

Neither of you wanted to beak the kiss...but Harry also didn’t want the pair of you to collapse. He pulled his lips away from yours, pressing his forehead against yours, the both of you panting heavily. 

“I love you so fucking much” He whispers, tears filling his eyes.

—————————

- 3 Months Later -

"Y/N we need to get you downstairs, we don’t have time to get you mic’d up up here, Graham has already started the show, so we’ll mic you up in the wings” A runner knocked on your dressing room.

“Ok I’m ready lets go...” You get up from the chair and check yourself in the mirror quickly. You had a beautiful red dress on, the sleeves hung off the shoulders and there was a slit in the leg of the floor length material. You had sparkly silver heels on, which looked like diamonds when they caught the light. Your hair was curled in a half up, half down style, with your normal glamourous makeup. 

Harry was in the wings waiting, speaking to a few other people as you were getting mic’d up. He was in a red suit, to match the colour of your dress, with a white shirt, his shoes just white this time. He glanced up with a wide grin. “There she is...mmm look at my beauty” He smirks happily and presses a kiss to your lips, holding your hips as a runner was hiding the wire in your dress.

“And you’re on in 3...2...1...” 

“Please welcome Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N!”

Harry took your hand as you followed him onto the set of The Graham Norton Show, the crowd cheering happily as you are greeted with a hug and kiss on the cheek from Graham, returning happily, and sitting down beside Harry after he gave the same greeting.

“Hello hello and welcome! It’s an honour to have you both here tonight on my sofa...although you have both sort of blended in” He chuckles

“Yeah...we didn’t really think about that until we got changed...” Harry chuckles, his hand holding yours tightly as you smile, taking a sip of wine from your glass.

“So we have a lot to talk about tonight...but firstly...congratulations on your new album! It sounds incredible and I know I’m not the only one wondering this, but how did you find working together while being in a relationship? Because your relationship only came into public view after the album was released...Now you two have lived together for...4 years is that right?” Graham asks.

“Yeah so...actually we have been best friends and flat mates for years, we’ve always had such a heavy impact on each others lives but we always both sort of thought it was just friendship. Around a year ago now I went through a really difficult break up and Harry was there every step of the way. Since then I always knew I loved Harry but it wasn’t until just after we had written the first version of Fine Line that I found out he felt the same” Your eyes gleam just talking about it.

“So...you two wrote Fine Line together, was that the first song you wrote for the album?” He looks over at Harry

“Actually, I’d already written Watermelon Sugar, Golden and Adore You. Fine Line was next and I was writing it at home. Naturally every song I write, Y/N is one of the first to hear, whether it’s in the living room, or when she’s in the bath and I sit outside the door to play it. It’s always been that way, even before we got together.”

Graham nods and smiles “You can’t let the poor woman have a bath in peace!” He jokes and teases as you both laugh. “So did you decide to name the album Fine Line because it’s the first song you wrote together?”

“I know!” Harry chuckles “sort of...Fine Line actually came about after...well it was after a prank I tried to pull on Y/N which went horribly wrong, then she finally forgave me and I was talking to her in the kitchen about how I was struggling to write emotional songs at the time. And the words she said to me really stuck...that night I sat at the piano and tried to piece together our conversation in a song. Y/N came to help me and she just...she’s really the saving grace. So I think yeah...maybe that was one of the reasons we called in Fine Line.”

“That’s incredible...and Y/N you were actually going to give up music weren’t you? Thank god you didn’t” Graham smiles.

You blush softly “I was...I just as going through a rough time. I helped Harry with the song and then I said I would quit. Then a couple of weeks later, Harry declared his love for me after he’d told me he had a joint record deal contract for us, to include me in the album” you tease with a smirk.

Harry grins widely and laughs quietly “I think the details of that have been slightly twisted...” He teases as you blush.

“Well I can’t wait to hear that story later! Now are there going to be any more joint albums...?” Graham asks curiously.

“...” You both look between each other “Time will tell Graham” Harry winks.

“Well...we are goin to go to an ad break now, but stay tuned because you don’t want to miss the first ever live performance of Fine Line by Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N!”

The crowd cheer loudly as the cameras cut to an ad break.

“I’m not waffling too much right?...it is my first ever proper interview” You mumble slightly as Harry and Graham sat with you in conversation while you were having your makeup touched up.

“You’re doing great baby...everyone loves you. I told you I’d make it all up to you when I stole your clothes and you missed that audition...” He grins cheekily.

“Now that’s a story I definitely need to hear!” Graham laughs along with the audience

—————————

Tag List: @harryhoney-bee - @sunandherflores - @sad-capuccino @beachwood-cafe

[elmaxlys]

the cochlea/rushima arc was so real for that*

*furuta’s ghoul reveal, eto’s death, arima’s death, maruchika, kanou and his naked men harem, donato breaking out of jail and clown reveal, i’m so lonely without you, chickenneki, squad zero are babies reveal, hirako's resignation, tatara’s kakuja, slenderman torso, mucchan starting his shironeki arc, roma, shuu saying oki-doki, amon’s fucked up kakuja, nashiro being a fart, furuta’s polka dot socks, matsuri losing it,

[bookishofalder]

Joke of a Batman

Spencer Reid x Male!Reader

Request: @meowiemari Okie dokie!!! So Spencer x male reader where the reader is the driver for the robbers. They arrested him after finding him in a gas station getting snacks. While driving in his car with Morgan, Reid, and Hotch, the reader is in the passenger seat telling them the location because he was just there for the money. Hotch and Morgan went while Spencer stays to keep an eye on him. Reader’s playlist in his car plays old Justin Bieber songs and it’s gonna be me by NSYNC. Spencer sees his embarrassment and  awkwardly sings a bit so he doesn’t feel shame. Later in absolute a few minuets the two started singing and as soon as Morgan comes back with Hotch, they both quickly turn off the playlist and exchange numbers. :)

Warnings: Swearing, implied SMUT (super brief)

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I loved writing this, and hope I you enjoy. This was my first time writing the reader as male-so please tell me if I can improve! Tried to keep reader description as vague as possible. Thank you to @mermaidxatxheart​ for encouraging me to get writing :) 

“That’ll be $11.75, please.” The bored gas station attendant droned, staring at you expectantly. You began to pull out a few bills from your wallet, ready to get home and eat your pint of ice cream in peace, but before you could count out what you needed, a voice behind you cut in.

“He’s no longer going to be making a purchase today, actually,” Spinning around in alarm, you find yourself face to face with two imposing men, one with a deep frown and overall authoritative air with his crisp suit, the other a handsome but tall and physically intimidating specimen.

With a gulp, you stuff the cash in your wallet. Who were these guys?

“Y/F/N?”

You nod as heat creeps up your neck, burning your face. Fucking Peter Robbins, you always knew, was going to be the death of you. And now it looked like your latest foray into his questionable life was going to land you in jail. These had to be cops.

You knew you should have ignored his call. You’d been telling yourself for years not to help him, he was just going to get himself in trouble again and call again, and you got nothing out of it. He used you because he knew you liked him. The two of you had been friends for years, and it didn’t take him long to realize the ways he could manipulate you because of how you felt.

It took you a lot longer to catch on to what he was doing.

But fuck, you still came running when he called, didn’t you? Like you were some joke of a Batman and he was shining his light into the sky calling for you. If only.

“That’s, yeah, that’s me.” You replied, slowly shoving your wallet into your front pocket before holding your hands in front of you in surrender. Whatever happened, you decide at this moment that you never want to see Peter again. Because giving that man a ride in hopes he’d one day say he was interested was not worth this.

“Mr. (Y/L/N), we’re placing you under arrest,” The frowning man held out his badge, showing you he was one Agent Hotchner from the fucking FBI. You tuned him out, your ears suddenly ringing, alarm shooting through you. Getting arrested was one thing, but the FBI? What in the living hell had Peter gotten into? Got you into?

He called you for a ride. It was just supposed to be a ride.

You were surprised when they didn’t cuff you, but you weren’t stupid enough to question them. They led you outside, where the gas station was quiet, only their large black SUV and your Honda Civic parked out front. You kept your eyes down, a sting threatening the corners but you were not going to cry. You needed to take this one step at a time, and not overreact. You surely didn’t fuck up that badly, did you? They’d said ‘suspicion of aiding a crime’, only suspicion.

“Listen, kid,” The bald Agent whose name you learned was Morgan turned and faced you, his expression serious. You bristled slightly at him calling you ‘kid’, but based on the crows' feet around his eyes, maybe he was older than he let on. “We know that you were just the driver today, and that you’d probably have no clue what’s going on right now.”

You raised your eyes to meet his, “Peter Robbins has ensured I fuck up my life at least once a year for nearly a decade. This is just...a new level for me.” You shrug, trying not to think of what your family was going to say when they found out. Would you lose your job?

“We’ve been watching Peter and his associates for a while now,” Agent Hotchner replied, and your brows raised in surprise. “Yes, he’s escalated from petty crimes that upset the local sheriff to armed robbery. Unfortunately, one of his partners happens to enjoy killing. Which is why we were called in.” He stops speaking abruptly when another Agent, you assume from the gun on his belt, steps around the SUV and up to your group.

For a moment, you’re caught off guard. This Agent is stunningly handsome, much younger than the other two. His eyes, which met yours for only a moment before flitting away, were a soft honey brown that sucked you right in. He had a bit of a shadow along his jaw, his wavy brown hair unkempt in the best kind of way, as though he’d just rolled out of bed looking that perfect. And you could tell he didn’t even realize the power he had. Standing next to two burly, thick muscled Agents, you could understand why. But in your brief assessment of this new man, you could see the lean strength of him, the muscles of his lower arms, veins in his hands. He was tall, too, taller than either of the other men, which was saying something.

“What’s up, Reid?” Morgan asked, and the new arrival-Reid-held up his phone.

“Garcia can’t pull anything from the Honda, it’s, her words, an ancient species.” He spoke quickly, almost as though the words couldn’t find their way off of his tongue quickly enough. You tried not to fixate on his mouth, because damn it, his lips were perfect.

Absentmindedly, you crossed your arms across your chest, feeling tense and tired. When Reid’s eyes followed the movement, you felt frozen under his gaze, watching with your breath held as it dragged slowly up to your face. His expression was unreadable, yet you still felt your cheeks grow warmer.

“Listen, (Y/N), we know you don’t have any real part in Peter’s crimes. We intercepted his calls and texts, we know he asked you to pick him up today, last minute.” Agent Hotchner said, his eyes burning into yours.

You looked away from the other men, shame flooding through you. “Peter always calls, and I always answer. But I really don’t know anything about what he does, I didn't know he was even with anyone else today. He asked me to pick him up right out front of the pharmacy, that’s all.” You couldn’t help the edge to your voice, the wordless plea that they understand you had no clue what was going on. And if innocent people were dying, you would do anything you could to help them put a stop to it.

Reid tilted his head slightly as he watched you, “We’ve seen the messages, (Y/N), we know how he treats you, giving you a little, yet taking a lot,” The tears almost threaten now, so you glance away, looking at the ground as you nod, “And he doesn’t even tell you what he’s taking, the danger he’s putting you in. He’s going to go away for a long time, but you don’t have to.”

At this, your head snaps up and you look between the three men, expecting them to laugh and finally cuff you. But they all wear the same neutral expression, all watching you.

“Like I said, I don’t know much abou-“

Reid shook his head, politely interjecting, “We understand. But you know where you took him today, right?” At your nod, Reid stepped a little closer, peering down at you, “We need you to take us to him. And tell us any other addresses you can remember picking him up from or taking him to in the last year. Can you help us? You won’t be under arrest if you can give us what we need to stop Peter and the men he’s working with.”

You almost wanted to laugh. Of course, you would help, regardless of whether you were still under arrest; you had no loyalty whatsoever to Peter. You only ever showed up for him because you hoped, each time, that it would be the time he would go beyond flirting. That the feelings were mutual. But if he was committing crimes-fuck, robbing people, working with a murderer, then you were done with him.

“I can tell you addresses, and I can show where he is now, I just,” You paused, closing your eyes briefly to pull in a breath, steadying yourself, “Please, don’t hurt him, if you don’t need to, I mean.”

Reid’s eyes, which you found the moment you opened yours, visibly softened at your words. He seemed a little surprised, you thought, though it was hard to tell. He was difficult to read, and you’d only just met him. He nodded reassuringly before looking to Agent Hotchner expectantly while you waited, your insides in knots.

“(Y/N), Spencer is going to go with you in your vehicle, and we’ll be following behind. Take us as close as you can without being obvious. Reid,” He turned to the handsome agent, “We’re going to check the car first, can you-“ He gestured wordlessly in your direction, which made you frown in confusion.

Reid nodded, and you watched as the two other agents moved to search your car, while he moved toward you. “I’m going to search you for weapons, okay?” He explained, holding his hands out as if waiting for your permission.

You stared, perhaps a beat too long, at his long-fingered hands. With a shy bob of your head, you looked to Reid, “Of course, I understand.” And the agent began to pat you down as you stood awkwardly.

It wasn’t as though the action was intimate or affectionate, but for whatever reason, you did feel his touch was hesitant. He was gentle, considerate...it surprised you. And then his hands slid up your back as he stood in front of you, and you became acutely aware of the thin cotton t-shirt your wore, instantly becoming self-conscious. You wondered what he thought of you, of your body.

Mind out of the gutter, you told yourself.

It was then, when Reid leaned back, his hands sliding from your back to your chest, that time seemed to stand still, just for a moment. They moved across your stomach briefly, and as they began to pull away, the search complete, you looked up. Reid was staring at you, his cheeks flushed, eyes heavy. You caught your breath, his gaze was so intense, but before you could even try to think of what to say, he was swiftly stepping back, breaking eye contact with a heavy swallow.

You were kind of relieved. That had been almost too intense, whatever that was. The relief lasted only moments until Agent Hotchner called out that your car was good to go, and you remembered you had a twenty-minute car ride alone with the Reid.

Fuck.

+

The first few minutes of the drive are bearable enough, Spencer takes the wheel as you give him directions to the subdivision where you had dropped Peter off. It’s when the silence starts to press in, and you don’t know what to say to fill it, that things swiftly change.

Sensing the tension, no doubt, Reid reaches out to the audio power button and hits your stereo on. With an internal groan, you suddenly wish you could just jump out of the moving vehicle when the song you’d been listening to picks back up.

'Cause I've had everything But no one's listening And that's just fucking lonely I'm so lonely Lonely

You had put on a playlist you considered your ‘sad songs’ compilation for whenever you were let down by Peter or any other man. You enjoyed wallowing in self-pity for just a little while after each encounter. But now, as Justin Bieber crooned sadly, you didn't feel sad, just humiliated. You were in your car with a fiercely hot FBI agent who had given you some kind of fucking bedroom eyes just minutes ago as he pats you down, and this song plays.

Your expression must have been obvious, as you saw Reid look at you a few times out of the corner of your eye, frowning somewhat. When the song ended, you didn’t get a chance to be relieved before ‘Somebody to Love” began playing. This time, you sighed aloud, sinking somewhat into your seat and wishing you could dissolve into a pile of goo like the Wicked Witch.

Until that is, you glanced up and saw Reid’s fingers tapping gently on the steering wheel to the beat. Surprised, you looked around to the agent and he was mouthing the words, singing along with the chorus. Stunned, you just watched him for a moment, quickly finding yourself enraptured by the way his plump lips moved around the words, how his tongue would wet them between lines, how his eyes-

Fuck, he was looking right at you. You smiled quickly but looked away, your hands fidgeting in your lap. You really had much bigger, more important shit to be concerned with right now, yet here you were wondering what the hell this perfect man, this FBI agent that was far too handsome for his own good, was doing singing along with the silly song, and why the look he gave you had butterflies erupting in your stomach.

Not to mention, the guilt that accompanied those thoughts, brief as they were, of what the lips would feel like on yours. What they would feel like on your body. Wrapped around your cock. Fuck.

He hadn’t said anything, but his fingers continued to tap along with the beat with ease. Eventually, when you directed him to the final turn, you chanced another glance at him. As if expecting your gaze, he turned his head and smiled at you, “I’m Spencer, by the way, Dr. Spencer Reid.” You blinked. Doctor?

“Oh, uh. Wow. Nice to meet you, Dr-“

“You can call me Spencer,” He cut in, his expression somewhat amused.

You nodded, “Nice to meet you, Spencer. Though I wish it were under different circumstances, perhaps where I wasn’t a criminal piece of shit.”

He pulled the car over, stopped at the community mailbox you had described as the perfect place to park. Once he’d turned the engine off, he turned to face you, those warm eyes giving you a gentle look. “You aren’t a criminal piece of shit, (Y/N),” Oh, you loved the way your name sounded coming from him. “I’d go as far as to say you’re a victim in all of this.”

You scoffed, waving a hand in protest, “No, I really should have known better than to help Peter.”

But Spencer shook his head, “As I said earlier, we saw the messages. He manipulates you, and he doesn’t ever tell you what he’s actually doing. He just gets you to give him rides, acts like it’s a way to hang out when really he’s using you as a cover because, in reality, you’re a law-abiding, hardworking, kind man. Men like him don’t deserve to breathe the same air as you, (Y/N).”

Letting out a breath, your mind went blank at Spencer’s words, failing you entirely. You believed every word he’d said, and you felt warm all over at the intense way he watched you, it was almost...protective.

Before your mind could reboot and you could trust yourself to open your mouth and not simply drool, a tap on the window drew your eyes beyond Spencer. Agent Hotchner stood there, waiting patiently with his arms crossed.

Spencer climbed out of your car, but you stayed put, glad for a moment to close your eyes and try to steady your beating heart. After this was over, you were climbing into your bathtub and staying there for the rest of the week. Maybe the rest of the month.

“Prentiss and JJ are parked at the North end, they’re going to come with us. Can you wait here, with (Y/N), and call Garcia and have him give her the other locations?”

You heard Spencer agree and bid his fellow agents goodbye before climbing back into your car. He smiled warmly at you, and you couldn’t help but return it, your own shy and uncertain. “You heard what our task is?” He asked you, his head tilted again, watching you curiously.

“Yes.”

“Okay, good. But first, can you give me your phone, please?” He held his hand out expectantly. You handed it over, first pointing it towards your face to unlock it. His fingers brushed yours when he took the phone from you, and if you hadn’t been looking at him already, you wouldn’t have believed it was intentional. But it was because at the slight contact, your eyes had widened and Spencer...Spencer had smirked.

He clicked around on your phone for a moment, hit one final button and then passed it back to you, looking satisfied. When you took it back, his phone chimed in his pocket. Confused, you peered down at your screen to see he’d added his name to your contacts and sent himself a text from your phone. Well fuck.

He was watching you with an amused expression, “Once this case is over, (Y/N), I’d love it if you would allow me to take you to dinner.”

“I, wow,” You stammered, nervously running your hair through your hair. His eyes followed your movement, and you saw a glint behind the warmth, of desire. Hunger. You didn’t think twice. “I’d love to, Spencer.” He grinned at you.

And surprising even yourself, you reached out and squeezed his hand. And when he returned the pressure and ran his thumb softly across the back of your hand, all thoughts of Peter left your mind as *NSYNC played in the background and you didn’t feel lonely anymore.

Did you enjoy this story? Please consider reblogging or commenting to ease my inner turmoil as a writer. Likes are basically just a bookmark!

✨Taglist: @mermaidxatxheart @paintballkid711 @snitchthewitch

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Il fait un pas à l'extérieur

Existence in Real Time - Chapter 2

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark! Reader

A/N: The title of this chapter is in french because this is my first semester without taking french and I miss it and it sounds pretty, it means ‘he takes a step outside’

Summary: Peter is allowed out into the world for the first time for a shopping trip with (y/n)

Series Masterlist

Regular Masterlist

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

After two weeks out of the lab Peter truly felt like he was starting to understand how things in the outside world worked. He’d been trying his best to get an understanding of pop culture and how you were supposed to talk to others casually, and there had been some hiccups, but (y/n) kept telling him he was doing great. Peter had quickly decided his initial feelings about (y/n) had been spot on, she was incredibly kind and patient and seemed to have no qualms about spending her free time with him. In fact she seemed to enjoy it as much as he did. She’d come home from school everyday with a list of new things to show him, or a backpack full of different snacks for him to try, and during his first weekend in the penthouse she’d shown him how to order take out so he could try new things while she wasn’t there. Tony was nice too, fun even, but he was usually more interested in Peter’s powers and asking about the lab. He didn’t mind it really, but the rest of the world was much more exciting, and new, and it was a lot more fun than reminiscing about the lab.

For his second weekend at the penthouse (y/n) had promised they’d be doing the thing he’d been looking forward to the most: exploring the city. Tony had given them very strict instructions to let him know exactly where they’d be, and call him if they saw anything even a tiny bit suspicious, but it was still a level of leniency and trust far beyond anything Peter had ever experienced. He had been buzzing all week at the thought, writing up an extensive list of things he wanted to do while they were out. He’d excitedly presented it to (y/n) at 8 a.m sharp on Saturday morning, to which she’d told him to get out of her room and let her sleep in or else, and he’d in turn returned to the living room to try and wait patiently for her to get up. Lucky for him she’d dragged herself into the bathroom at 10 and declared herself ready by 10:30.

“Alright, let’s see that list,” she yawned as they stepped into the elevator.

“Here,” he passed it to her, smiling like it was Christmas morning, “I’m sorry I woke you up so early.”

“It’s okay, just not a morning person,” her eyes scanned over the list with a small hum, “You should knock before you come into people’s rooms though, in case they’re changing or something.”

“Sorry, I won’t do it again,” he promised, “So, uh, do you think we can do all of it?”

“We’ll try, but we can go back out tomorrow if we don’t. What did you want to do first?”

“Well you keep talking about shopping so I thought we could do that first, and then maybe we could eat lunch in central park?”

“Okie dokie, do you wanna get clothes or like try and decorate your room?”

“Can we go to a store with both?”

“Sure, Nordstroms isn’t far and they have everything,” she waved to a man in the lobby as they exited the elevator, “That’s Happy, he’s our driver.”

“His name is Happy?” Peter raised a brow.

She nodded, “Yep.”

“That’s a weird name.”

She rolled her eyes at him before addressing the man, “Hey Happy, this is Peter, dad told him about you right?”

Happy nodded, “Yep, nice to meet you kid.”

“You too. So you drive cars?”

Peter’s introductions could still use a little work.

Happy raised a brow at (y/n), who just pursed her lips, “Yeah, I drive cars.”

“Cool,” Peter glanced to (y/n), not really sure what he should say next.

She smiled and collapsed her hands in front of her, “Happy can you take us to Nordstrom's first?”

He nodded, “Yeah, hop in, I’ll drive the car.”

Peter’s eyes had been glued to the window the entire dive, watching everything they passed in absolute awe. Each block had been packed with more people than he’d met in his entire life, and when they arrived at the store he nearly had a heart attack at the amount of people piling in and out of the doors. Happy had dropped them off right in front of the doors, telling (y/n) to call him when they were ready to leave. She’d grabbed Peter by the arm, weaving them through the crowd with an amount of grace he was certain he would never be able to match.

“Here,” she finally shoved them both onto the escalator, giving Peter a much needed moment to breathe, “The mens and home sections are both upstairs, which do you wanna hit first?”

“Uh, mens.” Truthfully, Peter was getting a little overwhelmed by the crowd, “Is it gonna be this busy up there?”

“I don’t think so. It’s usually not as busy upstairs,” she got on her tiptoes to try and peak at the upper floor, “Why?”

“Nothing, just wondering,” he forced a smile.

She frowned, “You don’t like crowds?”

Peter flushed, “I don’t know, I’ve just never been around this many people.”

“If it’s too much we can go,” she set a hand on his upper arm, squeezing lightly, “I’m sorry Peter, I should have thought about that. We can try going places that are calmer first.”

He shook his head, “I wanna be here, it’s just a little overwhelming. I just need to get used to it.”

She bit her cheek and nodded, “Okay, but if you change your mind just let me know, some people just don’t like crowds, that’s okay.”

“I will, but I’m okay for now,” he followed her off the escalator, letting his eyes wander for a minute, “You’re right, it’s not as bad up here.”

“Yeah, it’s always packed by the entrance,” she walked him to the left half of the floor, where about a million different racks of mens clothes were laid out, “So we just kind of wander around and if you see something you like we can grab it and you can try it on,” she slipped her hand into his, squeezing it firmly, “And if you get overwhelmed you can hold my hand if you want,” she blushed a little when she dropped his hand, “When I got nervous when I was little I used to squeeze my dads hand as hard as I could while we walked around, it always helped me feel better.”

He fought his cheeks when they tried to flush again, “Thanks, that, um, it does help.”

She smiled as she set her hand atop a rack of sweaters, “Just don’t squeeze my hand as hard as you can, you’ll definitely break it.”

“No promises,” he smiled back, “You like those?”

She nodded, “Yeah, they’re soft, do you like them?”

He studied them for a minute, grabbing the sleeve of one before nodding, “Yeah, I like the blue one.”

She smiled ear to ear, taking one from the rack and holding it to his chest, “Definitely a medium,” she concluded, “Alright, one down, anything else catching your eye?”

He shrugged, “Not yet, but that means it's just time to wander around right?”

She nodded, “You lead the way.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Peter had picked out five t-shirts, three sweaters, and four pairs of pants, letting (y/n) add things as they went and give her best guess for his sizes before shoving him into a fitting room.

“You’re really good at guessing sizes,” Peter looked down at himself as he exited the fitting room. He’d opted for one of the sweaters and a pair of jeans, it seemed simple enough.

“Yeah, I go shopping a lot,” she looked over him carefully, “Do you like it?”

He shrugged, “Yeah, I guess, it’s comfortable.”

“Well you should like your clothes, you should feel good wearing them,” she hummed, grabbing his shoulders and spinning him around, “I’ve got an idea for this one, so why don’t you change again and I’ll be right back okay?”

“You’re leaving?”

“I’m just gonna grab something, I’ll be back before you even finish getting dressed,” she assured.

“Okay.” Truthfully he was more worried about her being alone than he was himself. “Just come right back if there’s anything weird.”

She rolled her eyes, “I think you’re spending too much time with my dad. I think I’ll be okay to walk five feet from the fitting room.”

He nodded, watching her leave before returning to the dressing room. Next he settled on a t-shirt he’d chosen, it had a scene from the first movies they’d watched together, Star Wars, and a pair of dark grey sweatpants that she’d told him were joggers every time he said sweatpants. She’d picked them out for him, insisting they’d ‘change his life’ with how comfortable they were. He didn’t really get it still, they were basically the same pants he always wore.

“Hey I think I-” he stopped himself mid sentence when he saw (y/n) was still missing. He was worried instantly, his mind wandering to the worst case scenario as he exited the fitting room, but he quickly relaxed when he spotted her just outside the door, talking to a boy their age.

“Oh hey sorry,” she apologized with a smile, “I got caught up for a second. Peter this is Flash, I go to school with him. Flash, this is Peter.”

“Oh, uh, hi,” Peter gave a tight lipped smile as he looked the boy over, “Nice to meet you.”

 Flash nodded, “You too, so he’s like your cousin or something?”

“No, he, um,” (y/n) looked over at Peter, trying to quickly think of something, “He’s working with my dad, yeah, he’s an intern.”

Peter nodded in agreement, “Yep, I’m Tony’s intern.”

“Oh, cool,” Flash’s eyes hadn’t left (y/n) for more than a second, and he seemed to blush when he addressed her, “Well, I’ll leave you guys to it, I’ll see you Monday?”

She nodded, smiling obliviously back at him, “Yeah, you too,” she began retreating to the fitting room, passing Peter a button up shirt, “You should put that on under the sweater, it’ll look nice.”

“He was into you,” Peter hummed as he took the shirt.

“What?”

“He was into you, you know, like romantically. “

She hummed, “I don’t think so.”

“He totally is. Are you into him or something.”

She shook her head quickly, “No, Flash definitely isn’t my type, and he’s kind of an ass.”

“Why were you talking to him then?”

“He’s not an ass to me, just to some of my friends and stuff. Plus if I’m an ass to him it just gives him reasons to justify being an ass to everyone else you know?”

“No, if he was being an ass to my friends,” he paused for a minute, “Well, just you I guess, er, maybe your dad too, anyway, point is, I’d punch him. And maybe he’s not an ass to you specifically because he’s into you.”

“Maybe but I think if he was trying to get with me or something he’d want to get in good with my friends too. And you can’t just punch people, you could give him permanent brain damage or something,” she took a seat in the large chair in the waiting area, “Let’s get back to our fashion show.”

“He would deserve it,” he commented before glancing at the mirror again, “I like this.” 

“Me too. Now go put the sweater back on, and try the black jeans.”

“Yes mam,” he retreated behind the curtain once again, “So do you know a lot of people at school.”

“Kind of, I mean I know most of the people in my grade, but I’m only close with a couple people.”

“Do you like school?”

“Yeah, for the most part.”

He tossed the curtain open and stepped out once again, “You were right, this looks good.”

“Love it,” she nodded in agreement, “You know if you wanted to you could probably enroll with me, I mean not right now or anything, but we could talk to my dad about it.”

He liked the idea, even if the thought was a little nerve wracking, “Do you think he’d go for that?”

“Definitely! He’d have to get you legal documents and make sure you were ready and everything, but I’m sure he’d be down. I think you’d like it too, you’d get to be around a lot of other people our age,” she seemed excited at the prospect, which dissolved any nerves he’d been having, “I don’t think the actual work or anything would be a problem for you either, so just if you wanted too…”

He smiled at her, “I do, I think I’d like that.”

Her big, enthusiastic smile assured him it was the right choice, “Awesome, we can talk to him when we get home then.”

“Yeah, he’ll have to say yes after he sees my new drip.”

She burst into laughter, “Did you just say drip?”

He nodded, “And I know for a fact I used it correctly.”

“Um, okay,” she raised her hands in surrender, “Apparently Peter uses slang now.”

“That’s right,” he winked, “Give me like a week and I’ll have my very own Twitter too.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Peter stopped very suddenly on their way to the check out, suddenly entranced by a table full of Legos, “What are these?”

“Legos, they’re little building blocks for kids,” (y/n) explained, her attention staying on the throw blanket she held to her chest.

“Let’s get some.”

She furrowed her brow and looked over at him, “You want Legos?”

He nodded, “This one the Millennium Falcon, it’s cool, we could build it together.”

“Cool is a bit of a strong word,” she mumbled as she picked up the box, examining it carefully, “I don’t know Peter, this one says nine and up, I don’t want you to choke on any of the pieces.”

He rolled his eyes, “Haha, you’re so cute,” he took the box from her with a smile, “We’re gonna get it, and we’re gonna have tons of fun building it together, and then you’re gonna be upset that we only got one box.”

She stuck her tongue out before continuing on her way, “Whatever you say spider-dork.”

“That’s Spiderman to you,” he bit back, “Show a little respect.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

They’d both been surprised to find Tony in the car when Happy came to pick them up, luckily he’d only come to meet them for lunch so Peter’s day on the town could continue. Peter had sat back while Tony and (y/n) argued over where to eat, finally settling on a sushi place right across from central park. He really couldn’t fathom holding such a serious debate over something as small as food.

“So, how was shopping Peter?” Tony questioned as they sat down.

“Uh, it was fun,” he chewed the inside of his cheek, “It’s really cool seeing all this stuff but I’m excited to see all the stuff outside.”

“I would be too,” he sat back in his chair, looking over his menu lazily, “By the way, did I see Legos in one of those bags?”

“Peter wanted Legos,” (y/n) explained.

Tony raised a brow at him, “You wanted Legos?”

Peter nodded, “Yeah, it was the Millennium Falcon, it’s cool.”

“Cool is a strong word,” Tony hummed, “So is that what you two are planning to do for the rest of the day.”

(y/n) shook her head, “No, Peter’s got a whole list, we’re gonna go walk around the park after this.”

“Let me see the list.” (y/n) passed it to him, letting him look over it quietly for a second before shaking his head. “No, this is no good, this is all tourist crap. Kid what were you thinking?”

“That I’m a tourist,” Peter deadpanned.

“Point taken,” Tony nodded, “Well you do this this weekend and next weekend I’ll make you a much better list than this.”

“Yeah and where are you gonna send us? A tour of New York’s greatest retirement homes?” (y/n) rolled her eyes, “If anyone’s making the next list it’s me.”

“Really? And what’s going on your list hmm?” Tony questioned.

“Midtown.”

“The high school?”

She nodded, “Yeah, Peter and I talked about him maybe going to school eventually so I figure he should check it out first.”

“You wanna go to school?” Tony asked.

Peter blushed before nodding, “I’d like to try, I think it’d be good for me.”

“I think so too, but you have to be sure you’re ready before I get any of that started.”

“I’m sure I’ll be ready soon.”

“I’d be with him too,” (y/n) added, “So if anything happened I’m sure we’d be okay.”

Tony nodded, “Yeah, well I’ll see what I can do about that, in the meantime I think it’d be good for him to get a little more practice being out in public.”

(y/n) smiled ear to ear, squeezing his arm excitedly, “You got it daddio, Peter’s gonna be totally socially adept in no time.”

next chapter

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[forkanna]

WARNING: Very N S F W. Includes sisterly incest, cunnilingus, anal play, tickling, foot worship, and as you probably expected... food kink.

Notes: HAPPY CORONATION DAY! I've been hanging onto this since I posted chapter 5 both because I wanted to make sure it was just right, and I thought it deserved to be released on an important day in the fandom's history: the date Elsa was crowned Queen of Arendelle in 1844. (We know this thanks to some smart cookies on Reddit haha)

So I know this should technically be from Elsa's POV if I continued to follow the convention I set up for myself, but I decided to keep writing it as Anna. It's been her story from the beginning and it should end as her story. Plus it's an epilogue, so it doesn't have to follow the rest of the fic's format! So there! AHAHAHAHA… I don't know, I'm tired.

And YES, this is the end. No sequels, no Epilogues-To-Epilogues; the MSB grand finale. I know a lot of you may have not seen my mention of an epilogue in the notes for last chapter, so hopefully you'll see this! If any of you want to continue Elsa and Anna's story in your own spinoff fanfics, be my guest (but please credit me); otherwise, I consider MSB to be at its natural ending. Hope you all enjoy the last slice!

In all seriousness, thanks to everyone who has waited this long for what is essentially a one-off smutty fic about D*sney sisters to be finished. I owe so much to this story; it changed my life in a very literal, very unexpected way. Elsa and Anna's true love thawed my jaded heart and encouraged me to keep writing, even when I was sank deep in the darkness of a miserable life, and to explore who I am in ways I never felt brave enough to do. I'm in such a better place now than when this began. It's been a pleasure being part of this fandom, and hopefully I will continue to enjoy it for a long time to come.

Until we meet again,

Jessex

[AO3] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

                                                 EPILOGUE

                              Min Søsters Bursdagsmadrass: Anna

                                         ~ Five Months Later ~

Okay, okay, not quite five months have passed since we saved our kingdom from my sister's magic. Closer to four-and-a-half. But the time has flown by so much that it feels more like a week.

Kristoff and Sven came galloping up to the gates just as we were exiting. The ice boy was a lot less shocked that I was arm-in-arm with Elsa than I expected; probably because he pretty much already caught us in flagrante delicto before. He tried to offer congratulations, and I gave him a big hug to cut through all that awkwardness.

Olaf showed up not long after. Well, we came across a puddle that used to be Olaf; I'd know that carrot nose anywhere. Before I could start sobbing, Elsa calmly created a little ice-flurry and rebuilt him as easy as if she were breathing; he was disoriented, but didn't take long to be back to his cheerful self, hugging us and congratulating us on figuring out that we belonged together. That made sense the more I thought about it. Seriously, why wouldn't our snow-baby always know his parents should stay together?

Naturally, there were a few people who came to the levee that didn't condone our love. I wish I could say differently. Most of them were either too afraid to speak out against us — probably because my sister was some kind of ice witch, that tends to make even the bravest of men need a change of underwear — or they were genuinely happy we were happy, and summer was back. But one or two tried to shame us. Didn't go well, considering we were the monarchy and surrounded by supporters. More insisted we needed a king, at the very least for the purpose of heirs. I tried to tell them that Olaf was our heir, which got a lot of weird looks, but Elsa insisted that it was our decision if and when we crossed that bridge. I guess that's why she's the queen, right? I mean, can you imagine me as the queen of Arendelle? No way!

Hans was tried and convicted of treason against the kingdom. I didn't even go; I didn't want to look at him again if I could help it. But I watched from the castle walls with my sister as they led him away to a ship bound for the Southern Isles. We figured his family would make sure the sentence was severe if they wanted to maintain a good trade partnership with Arendelle. Plus, we wouldn't have to deal with him still being in our home. Win-win.

We also shipped old Weaseltown out. He can peacock-strut and backstab on his own turf.

Everything flew by a lot faster after those first few days. Kristoff was our new icemaster general — totally a real title, thank you — and Olaf's cheery presence got everyone used to the idea of magic. The people slowly grew to accept that their queen had a queen of her own. At first, we tried not to be too open with our relationship, but even though everybody thinks of me as the free spirit, it was Elsa who decided we should begin taking walks through the kingdom, hand-in-hand. At first, we got a few stinkeyes, but little by little, they saw we were happy, and not hurting anyone with our taboo love, and… it just became normal, I guess.

Which is fantastic! I mean, if they didn't I would have bought a whole collection of lutes to start smacking them with, but that didn't turn out to be necessary. Good thing; a co-queen shouldn't brawl with her subjects. Looks kinda bad.

As we hit the middle of December and the weather was turning colder without my sister's influence, I started scheming. We had enjoyed four wonderful months of getting to know each other all over again. Even though I'm basically a big ball of libido, somehow Elsa convinced me that we shouldn't just start banging each other's brains out every day. How dare she! But I have to admit, having that sex-free courtship time was somehow a magic all its own.

Because we were behind. By thirteen years. I found out just how well-read my sister was, since she had ploughed through book after book when she wasn't trying to practice controlling her magic. That was something we had in common, since I was often equally bored; it turned out we had read a lot of the same books, and we could compare our thoughts and feelings about them over many, many cups of tea. She never did start talking to paintings like I did, but when I introduced them to her, at least she was bemusedly giggling behind her hand instead of openly mocking me, or telling me I needed medical attention. And we went horseback riding, and swimming, ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. Started going through our parents' things at last, painful though it was. Learned about the kind of adults we had become since we last knew each other as children.

And kissed, sure. Just because we didn't start rolling around in the bed sheets right away didn't mean I was going to let us be complete prudes.

However… my sister's birthday was fast approaching, and I knew I had to do something big. Maybe in a literal sense. So the scheming turned to plotting, and the plotting turned to planning. And then the plans got put in motion leading up to her big day.

                                                      ~ o ~

"Alright, alright, Olaf! I'm going!"

"Sorry, Elsa, but there's no time to waste!" I could hear him replying to her from the other side of the door. I could just barely see her slippered feet and his snow stumps through the crack underneath. So weird doing that from the inside this time… "I guess. I've never had a birthday, but Anna told me this is your biggest one yet, and we got a schedule to keep!"

"Okay, little guy," she laughed at him easily. Even though I couldn't see, I could just picture her petting over his head. "Thank you."

"Yep! And oh, I was supposed to do something else, it was… yeeeessss! Anna told me I should 'get lost for the rest of the day'. So I guess my question is, does that mean until sundown? Or midnight? And how lost do I have to get? I can get lost just in this castle, it's so big, but she was pointing at the gates when she said it…"

"Tell you what. Why don't you go pay Kristoff and Sven a visit? That should be far enough."

"But I won't be lost if I know where I'm going," he told her in a patient tone, as if she were the one who was missing something instead.

"My mistake," she laughed fondly. "Just have a little adventure outside of the castle and we will see you in the morning."

"Okie-dokie! Have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do! Or do, because you're not me, so you should be doing things I wouldn't do? Maybe? Especially if I'm going to be getting lost and you don't need to be lost. I don't know if that's exactly…"

He was still talking by the time his voice started to fade around the corner. The rest of the sentence was cut off by Elsa knocking on my door.

"Go away, Elsa," I called back at her in an exaggeratedly pouty tone.

"Anna," she sighed. "Yes, I know I was the one saying that to you for a decade of our lives, but this joke is starting to get a little old now."

"Whaaaaaat? No, I don't think so."

"It's officially old as of today. Now, may I come in, or will you be coming out?"

"Think we both already did that last part," I giggled. "Did you, um, prepare?"

"For the love of- yes! Though I don't know why, I let Gerda bathe me thoroughly, and now I am standing outside your door, scrubbed raw and regretting that I listened to her, because you are being a pain in the-"

She didn't finish that thought because I unlocked the door just then. But I didn't open it for her. I was too busy scampering across the floor of my chambers to stand by the bed, grinning from ear-to-ear like a loon. And don't judge, okay? I'd been planning this for a long time.

"Um…" The door creaked open, and one of her baby blues peered around the inside of the darkened room. The sun had already set, so it was only the moonlight and the single candle on my bedside table providing illumination. "A-Anna?"

"Please enter," I said in a pretentiously royal tone.

"Oh, your robe is like mine," she said with a small smile as she eased the door shut behind her.

"Yep! Silk, from the East! I mean, you fill yours out a little better — especially up top. But that's one of the gifts. And I figured, hey, might as well get one for me, too!"

Barely glancing down at the blue silk covering her sizable assets, she shook her head with a small laugh. "It's very nice, thank you. But I thought I told you I didn't want you to make a big deal about my birthday; we should be focused on the Yule festivities for the kingdo-"

"No, no, no," I teased her with a wave of my index finger, bouncing on my heels excitedly. "This is the first time in thirteen years I have been able to celebrate this with you. Give me this one, okay?"

"When can we stop saying the number thirteen and start really enjoying our lives again?"

"When it's been fourteen years. Now… can you take that robe off and hop up on the bed for me?"

Oh, that shrewd little smirk that blossomed on my sister's face. It was both breathtakingly beautiful and super sexy. She was all the time, anyway, but there were moments that it stood out a lot more. "Ahhhh. So that's what all this is about, is it? You think tonight we are going to break our courtship."

"Mmmmaybe. But even if we don't, I still want more with you tonight. If that's okay," I added hastily, fidgeting with my hands behind my back.

"I see." Elsa stepped forward to smooth her hands up and down the green silk covering my chest, teasing her fingernails over my neck. Definitely not making it any easier to stop my lady parts from launching a hostile takeover of my brain, I can tell you! "And… this is very important to you, isn't it?"

"Y-yeah." Clearing my throat, I said, "And I understand why courting was important to you. And it's been great! Really, I loved getting to know you all over again, and we have been having so much fun. But… maybe just a little playing tonight? Please?"

As she glared across into my eyes, I brought my thumb and forefinger up between our faces, half an inch apart. That was all it took to make her burst out laughing.

"That little, hmm?" she finally chuckled as my cheeks burned. "Okay. I assume once I am in position, you will tackle me on this bed?"

"Yeah. Well, not 'tackle', but I'll join you. I just want you to feel how soft it is first."

That got Elsa's eyebrows raising in slight surprise. "Soft, hm? Did you get yourself a new bed for my birthday?"

"I dunno, did I?" I gasped. Hoping my acting skills were at least good enough to hide how excited I was.

Not quite. But at least Elsa hadn't fully figured out my cunning scheme. She pointed at my face and hissed under her breath, "There had better not be anyone hiding in here."

"Hiding? Wait, why would I stick anybody else in here and then tell you to take off your clothes?"

"How should I know? Sometimes you have a really strange sense of humour, Anna."

"Not that strange! Surprise creepy people sounds plain old mean!" But before she could say anything else, I placed a hand over my heart and raised the other one. "I do hereby solemnly pledge that nobody is going to jump out of the wardrobe at you. Or anything else like that."

"Fine, I believe you," she laughed as she stepped from her slippers and let the silk fall from her shoulders, exposing her smooth, pale back. Even now that we had been going for walks and rides, she was still white as alabaster, despite the alternating tans and sunburns I had.

"Mmm…"

"Again, my birthday seems to be full of gifts for you," she accused playfully with a little glance over her shoulder at me as she approached the bed, moving to climb atop it. "Little pervAAAHHH?!"

SPLAT.

Nope, I definitely couldn't hold back anymore. I wrapped my arms around my middle and burst out into gales of laughter, shaking all over and trying my best not to fall down. "ELSA! Your face — you should see your face!"

"I'm- what is- ANNA!" my poor sister finally burst out as she slipped and slid everywhere, defiling all my hard work. "What is the meaning of this?! What IS this, where did- is this CAKE?!"

Cackling and bouncing up and down as I clapped my hands, I finally crowed, "YES! Isn't it incredible?! Doesn't it look just like my bed? I mean, it did before you jumped on it, but even still, the rest of it!"

God, she looked hilarious. I was laughing, but was doing my best not to actually point at Elsa while I did it. And anyone would have laughed; her face covered in so much chocolate and frosting, a huge chunk falling from her chin to splash onto her right breast even while she blinked at me in wonder. Never had our regal queen looked so un-regal.

"You… made… a bed-sized cake… just to play this prank on me." She scraped some of the frosting from her eyelids and flicked it away, turning slightly so she could kneel on the layers of confection. That only made me laugh so hard I snorted like a pig. "This is… I have no words. I literally have no words, I could never have anticipated this."

"Aww, don't be grumpy," I teased breathlessly as I got rid of my own robe, dropping it right next to hers. "Just because I got you good this time! You freaked out, it was the most amazing thing I've watched in my whole life!"

"Yes, well, the show is ov- Anna, what are you doing now? Don't tell me- are you going to jump into this cake with me?! That's insane!"

I hesitated. "Well… I was before you called it 'insane'…" But then I approached the edge of the bed, hands on my hips. No way was I going to chicken out that easily. "This wasn't just a prank. I really wanted to do this for you."

That finally got her to laugh, and when she started she found it hard to stop. I laughed with her, watching her slap her caked thigh a few times. But before I could join her on the bed, she suddenly breathed, "Insane… but beautiful. I've never seen a woman more lovely in the entire world."

My heart skipped over a beat, and I hoped she couldn't tell how hard my nipples were in the low light. "Ahhhhh, now you're just lying. We both know you own a mirror."

"Nice try," she laughed, biting her sugar-coated lip for a moment to weather my counter-compliment. Then she tilted her head slightly while asking, "Why? This is the strangest surprise I have ever received — and that includes that certain birthday of yours. But I can tell it means a lot to you, so could you help me…?"

Great. Now I had to actually face the music, and it was going to take a lot of exposing of feelings. So I took a deep breath before throwing my inhibitions to the wind... and letting my knees sink into the cake.

"That is so wrong," I groaned, feeling one of my eyes twitch.

"I know. But once you get used to it, it's… still wrong, but interesting." She was leaning slightly on one arm, moving her legs out to one side. Always so ladylike, even in a big mound of baked sweetness.

"So here it is," I sighed. "You and me, even when we were really little… chocolate was our soft spot. We could never resist it. And especially after my birthday, when we bonded over it again… I knew your birthday had to be something big, since I could finally celebrate it with you. Something that mattered to both of us. And fun! I thought fun was really important, too. Took me a while to figure out just how I wanted to do this, but once I had this idea, I just… I knew. This was the only thing that would be good enough."

Though she had been listening with a small smile, my last sentence wiped it away. Why? What did I say wrong? Her cake-slicked hand lifted to caress my cheek.

"Anna, anything would have been good enough. Even if this had turned out to be a normal bed, I would have been so happy. How much you spend, how much you plan these gifts, it's sweet but you don't have to go to so much trouble. Don't you know my favourite gift is you?"

My lips only got the chance to part very slightly — when she booped me. She booped my nose with frosting on that finger. The Queen of Arendelle, everybody.

"You little stinker." But her words kept me from retaliating. "You… you mean that, huh? That I'm enough?"

"I do." Her lips pecked mine. "You always have been. I'm just sorry I wasn't able to show you until these past few months. But now, I get to make up for lost time."

Sliding closer, I whispered, "Same here."

And that was as far as I could get before I was attacking her mouth. Elsa welcomed me gratefully, humming as she pulled my body closer. I knew she was getting cake all over me, but I had kind of resigned myself to that when I concocted this whole crazy scheme. Literally concocted.

Which was what she asked about next. "How long did this take to bake?"

"Oh, a couple of days. The trick was keeping the parts we already made fresh so they wouldn't spoil before we finished the rest of it. Kristoff helped me with that, grabbed me a few blocks of ice; normally I would ask you to do it with a little magic, but I mean, since it was a surprise for you that would have been pretty stupid."

"Yes, I suppose so," she giggled, rubbing her fingertips against each other experimentally. "Smooth frosting… buttercream?"

"Of course! And I wanted to add a bunch of berries, but then it wouldn't have looked like my bed, because I don't normally have a bunch of berries on it." While Elsa laughed again, I slipped my arms around her waist. "And yeah, I know you still think it's weird I wanted to be in a cake like this. Plus it's a big waste of food. But for just this one birthday, the first one since we reunited, I wanted to give you something so big it was literally all around us. Like we're part of the cake instead of just the other way around."

Her voice was so gentle and warm when she responded, "I believed you the first time, Anna. But thank you for elaborating. I love knowing how you think, how your mind works. My amazing, clever sister."

Again, we kissed, deeper and longer and with no inhibitions. We tried to restrain ourselves when we were out in public, of course, but alone in my room? Nobody looking over our shoulders? Free as wild horses.

By the time we came up for air, I was no longer the clean one because we had been rolling around in the cake-bed. Sure, I still felt guilty for putting the castle cooks through so much work just so we could wreck it, but at least Kristoff and I gave them a hand — and I gave them the day off once they were through. Anyway, basically the only places where chocolate and frosting hadn't accumulated multiple layers was our faces, because they were so close to each other that nothing could get in between them.

"Are we supposed to be eating any of this?" Elsa laughed, running her finger through some on my shoulder.

"Well, yeah. I wouldn't have done this if it was just for show; this might as well have been a big frosted mud pie." Then I held up…

"Anna, where could you possibly have been hiding that?!"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Elsa merely blinked at me for a few seconds until I caved. "Okay, I had it in my butt."

"What- that sounds incredibly painful!"

"No, no, I was just clenching my cheeks on the handle. Obviously! Like I used the handle outside your door that first time. Come on, do you really think anybody would stick the pointy part into anywhere that sensitive?"

"Well, it is you," she laughed as she reached for the fork. Our fork. "Though I suppose I admire the control you have over your muscles back there." Then she hesitated, her brow furrowing. I could figure out what was holding her back.

"I also took one of Gerda's very thorough baths," I informed her to put her fears at ease. Which made her finally take it with a slight shake of her head. "Oh — and I helped one of the servants mop the floor before we got started in here. Trust me, when I say you can eat off the floor, I really mean it this time."

"You really have thought of everything; such attention to detail. It's almost a little scary."

"Love makes you a little scary sometimes, I guess."

"I guess." Then she slid the fork through some of the cake that we hadn't already rolled in, bringing it up to my lips. "After you."

"Oh! Wait… you first, it's your birthday."

"Diving into it counted as me going first," she chuckled. "Besides, I tasted a little on your lips once they caught some from my lips. Go on." And since I had no argument against that, and she was looking at me with those bemused, insistent eyes, I took the bite into my mouth.

"Ohmyghob, ibzo goob!"

"Anna, manners." Which I could appreciate the irony, since there were very little manners involved in rolling around in a giant cake. Probably. Maybe they do that more often in Corona…

"You have GOT to try this," I gushed once I had swallowed, grabbing the fork and scooping up another big bite for my sister.

"Can't I have a different fork?" But I wasn't budging. And she knew how important that particular utensil was to the both of us. "Gerda bathed you the same way she bathed me, didn't she?"

"It was like standing in a geyser."

"Fine." She accepted her first proper bite. Her blue eyes slid closed in ecstasy as she hummed her approval, eventually nodding after she had chewed for a moment.

"Amazing, right?" All she did was nod, raising a hand to give the okay symbol. So I helped myself to another bite, clutching my hand to my chest as tears welled up in my eyes.

Seriously, it was that good. Best cake I ever had in my life, up to and including the one with my sister's extra frosting.

"Okay," Elsa panted a couple minutes later when we had eaten our fill for the moment. "I was teasing you before, but I take it all back; I do want to live here and sleep here."

"Surrounded by layers of chocolatey goodness?" I giggled as I flopped onto my back, spread eagle in piles of sweet perfection. It was like Heaven, or Valhalla or whatever you believe is the good afterlife.

"Exactly. Fun and function." I glanced over to see she was lying on her side, propped up on one elbow so she could look down at me with a smile full of so much affection that my heart skipped a beat. "So very you."

At first all I did was chuckle a little and smile up at her. But then when she leaned down to kiss my chest, I let my eyes fall closed as a little sigh escaped my lips. "Mmm…"

"You were after something like this, I believe?"

Opening my eyes again, I was just in time to see her tongue slide across the meat of my right breast, the one closest to her. The track of freckled skin she revealed by cutting through the chocolate confection gleamed from her saliva, and it was somehow both offensive and arousing at the same time.

"Y-yeah. Something like that." I cleared my throat and caressed along her back, through cake and hair. "But you don't have to. If that whole courting thing is so-"

"We can take a break," she interrupted with an impish smile. "One night, for both Yule and my birthday. And for you, because I know how hard it has been to keep your hands off me."

A blast of air exploded from my lungs as she licked again. "HAH! W-wow, somebody's conceited in here, and I think her name rhymes with… with, uh…"

"With what? Jelsa?"

"No, that's not a thing."

I was still trying to think of a rhyme for her name when she found my nipple, and my squeal blasted every thought out of both of our minds. My chest was a feast for my sister for the moment as my conscious thoughts faded, simply letting her enjoy me. Because I enjoyed it just as much. A few times, she hit the nerves just right that I twitched, digging my nails briefly into her back and making her hiss in response. Some extra added fun.

Then she started moving down my stomach. I knew where she was going; this wasn't our first time trying this particular activity. But the butterflies were as fresh as ever, and my thighs tried to trap her head there.

"Oh, not tonight?" she purred.

"Reflex," I panted shortly, trying not to laugh at the cake all over her face now. Because even though it was funny, it also wasn't… since she was about to go to town on me.

Oh, she did. She really, really did — and it blew my mind so much more this time, somehow. Maybe it was because for the past few months, I only had that fork handle for company in my bed. Being pent up and needy tends to make the release ten times stronger, you know.

"Elsa!" I whined after a few hours. Okay, it was probably a minute or two, but it felt like so long! "You're really… how did you… get this good?!"

By the time she came up for air to answer me, she was gripping my ass cheeks to hold my pelvis closer to her face. "You're worth trying my best for, Anna. And… I may have practiced on an ice-replica." When I laughed at that, a frosting-smeared eyebrow arched. "Ooh…"

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. Your backside is so firm, and I felt it flexing in my hands. Powerful."

"Y-yeah, I exercise a lot. Could probably pick up a gold coin with it."

"Really?" I felt her poking around back there, and I clenched — again, reflex. "Wow. Do you think… you could squeeze this?"

Before I had any chance to ask a question or protest, I felt a finger sliding between my cheeks. What in the fjord was Elsa doing?! It felt wrong, and disturbing… and hot? Was it hot somehow?! Maybe, but only because it was her, and she had already been going down on me, I'm pretty sure; if anybody else had tried that, especially when I wasn't already chomping at the bit to get off, their hand would be kindling for the fireplace in the corner.

So don't let anybody tell you Elsa is a prude who would never do anything like that. That whole regal facade is just a smoke screen. She can get just as wild as me.

"Wow, your muscles really are strong," Elsa breathed in honest surprise, not just teasing me. "I'm impressed."

Freya, I tried so hard to hold it together. To control my reaction. But as she dragged her finger back from my crack, brushing the little forbidden spot that I had been trying not to think about, I shivered and let out a little moan. Dooming myself.

"Anna?"

"Yes! I m-mean, hello, yeah, you can… you can start back in on the goods now! Remember my goods? Right there in front of you?"

"No, wait. Did you enjoy…?" Probably trying to spare me some embarrassment, she didn't finish the sentence. Instead, she raised her frosting-covered finger and flexed it in my field of vision.

"Oh, did I really get cake in there, too? Sheeze, we've really been going crazy!"

My nervous laughter made it way too obvious I was just trying to distract my sister. Why was I so bad at that sometimes? She looked at me suspiciously for a moment, then glanced at the finger, then back at me.

"Anna-"

"Please, can we not-"

"Anna, it's okay. If you want me to leave that alone, I will; I was only asking how you felt about it. That's all."

Though her words didn't dial back my embarrassment, it soothed away the anxiety spike. "Oh. Well… no, I didn't mind that much. Not really. It's just because… like, after all you've been doing to my clit and tits, I'm kind of sensitive… everywhere. So it was pretty interesting, but I would never ask you to do it again! That's too big a favour!"

Elsa thought that over for a moment, and I finally started to relax. Then she kissed my inner thigh. "Just relax, my love. My Lord Anna." I groaned, thinking back to the coronation ball. Even though it all worked out okay. "I'll take care of you. And all you have to do is ask, and I will stop or change what I am doing. You can always talk to me, alright?"

"Okay," I said, completely relieved. My queen was so sweet to me, always taking care of me as much as she could. Making me feel safe.

Well, I did feel a little less safe when she started kissing closer to my behind. And then when I felt two thumbs pulling the cheeks apart, I wriggled all over and gasped out, "WHOA! Elsa, are you- you're not gonna-"

"Just going to try to get the cake in here," she laughed softly. "Unless you have objections."

Did I? The whole thing was too weird to have any objections. And while I was still trying to come up with one, I felt that wriggling tongue press somewhere I had never wanted or needed it to go. Was Elsa really doing this? She really didn't mind? We did enough wrong and taboo things already that this just seemed like one step too far! But the way she was going at my ass suggested she didn't agree.

And it was… different. Not good, not bad; just unsettling even while it was stimulating. When she was still at it a minute later with no signs of stopping, one of my hands started trailing the handle of that trusty fork down my stomach. Maybe, if I could take care of the main attraction, a little sideshow in the back room wouldn't be so bad.

"Mm?" she hummed, tongue still sliding over my taut skin. She must have seen my fingers moving, because she drew back with a chuckle. "Oh, did you need me to move along?"

"Y-yeah, Elsa, I… we could try that again later, but right now I'm…"

With a solemn nod, she went right back to going down on me. Who could complain about a girlfriend like that? Just takes care of my needs without any complaint. What an angel.

"Oh ffff- MMM!" Yeah, I had to scream into my hand to let out some of my energy. Luckily, it wasn't the one holding the fork or I might have stabbed myself in the face. A minute later, I gasped, "Elsa! I'm almost there! Almost there!"

My sister did not slow down until I actually was there. It felt like she had six tongues instead of two — which she might actually have been able to pull off if she used her ice powers, but I didn't feel her mouth get any colder. I came so hard and shook all over, and the whole time Elsa just held onto my hips and devoured me like I was the best cake she had ever tried. Which was probably how she felt.

Once my heat faded, she lowered me into the cake again and smirked. "That happened awfully quickly for someone who didn't like me playing with her a little lower than usual."

"Y-yeah! Well… you… let me get pent up for multiple months!"

"That is fair. I hope my apology was satisfactory."

Pretending to think real hard about it, I screwed up my face and tapped my chin. Elsa laughed. "Weeeeeelllllllllll… on one condition."

"What condition?" She started when I moved to pin her to the bed. "Oh!"

"This one." My chosen target was her neck. She shivered a little when I ran my tongue along it, enjoying the rich chocolate mixing with the light purity of her skin. I wanted to eat Elsa whole.

"Anna… you… make it hard to breathe."

"Elsa…"

"N-no, I… I'm really-!"

With a shock, I realized she meant the way my hand was pushing into the middle of her abdomen. "OH! Shit, Elsa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" As she took a deep breath, I caressed her side. "Better? Man, I am just really dumb sometimes…"

Elsa pulled me down into her embrace. "We already covered that. You are not dumb. You have never been dumb."

"You sure? I mean, not that I'm trying to argue with you, but you keep saying that and then I keep doing dumb things."

"Because you're excited. I am, too; I've just had a lot more practice... controlling myself."

For good reason. But since she wasn't judging me, I pushed myself back up to begin devouring the cake covering her ribs and stomach. She giggled a couple of times, and I smiled at the way her abdominal muscles flexed under my lips, bumping up against my nose. I could have kept eating off her and exploring her for hours and never got bored. Not once.

"Mmhhh, this really is so good," I sighed as I got closer and closer to the finish line. "The cake, you… who could ask for more?"

"I'm glad you… approve." But I could tell she was nervous. Why? It's not like this was the first time we had done anything like this; just the first in a little while.

"Elsa?" She didn't answer right away. Watching her bite her lip and look anxious was cute, but I still prompted her, "Hey. You okay?"

"What? Oh… yes, I'm fine." My face must have looked extra unconvinced, because a second later, she relented. "I'm still a little afraid of losing control of my powers when I…"

"When you what? Oh, wait, you're- right, got it, you don't need to explain. But hey, even when you've done that before, all you did was give me a little extra blast of snow. I don't mind a cold cake."

Tittering the slightest amount, despite the fear in her eyes, she reached down to run her fingers through my sugar-matted fringe. "Neither of us do. And I know you're probably right, but I can't help but worry I will hurt you for a third time. I don't think I could take that."

"Me, either. But you won't. I hear you, I do, but I know you have a handle on this now. You've been doing so good! Nobody in Arendelle is scared of you anymore. So just… let me do the magic this time."

That was that. Even though she was still biting her lip, her brow still creased, she didn't protest further as I kissed the inside of her thigh, devouring the frosting I found there. But I still didn't like that she was wound up so tight. So I figured hey, why not try to loosen her up?

"So, if I get a couple of fingers in you and really start going to town… does that make this pound-cake?"

Oh, now she looked mad. I barely had enough time to register the movement before her foot was pushing into my face, trying to shove me off the bed entirely.

"Hey, whoa whoa, Elsa! Come on, I'm sorry!"

"Why don't I believe you?" she demanded in a would-be stern voice. The answer might have been because I was laughing up a storm. But I caught sight of her smile, which told me she was just trying to mess around with me. One of the many things I had been missing over the past thirteen years.

"Truce! I'll keep my corny jokes to myself if you don't shove me the rest of the way off this bed!" Really, I already had to whip one leg back and brace against the floor to keep from falling as it was. But she slowly began to relent. "Thank you."

"I ought to put my finger back in your 'fork holder' for that one," she grunted.

"It was one time! I don't go around carrying forks back there all the time, you know!"

"Actually, no, I don't know that. Because I never inspect the back of your dress when you are casually walking down the halls."

"You could, though…" As she just shook her head at me, I decided to get a little more playful.

"AH! Not my feet — don't bite my feet, you know how ticklish iyyyahahahhaaaa!"

Too late. My teeth were nibbling all over her chocolatey toes in retaliation for almost being knocked on my butt. The way she began kicking was extremely dangerous, but at least now my childhood memories were intact; I remembered learning by watching our father that you had to hold her leg steady when you tickled her, or you were asking for an eyeful of flailing heel.

"STOP!" she cackled. "I'm- I am about to ruin this cake! Anna!"

Right away, I broke off with a laugh. No matter how much fun I was having, it wasn't worth ruining an entire cake-bed by making her wet herself. "Okay, okay. Yellow frosting is as bad as yellow snow, I guess."

"You… monster!" But she was still laughing a little, cheeks flushed, chest rising and falling in an attempt to regain her breath. Which looked like she had been doing something else.

Flawless. I was head over heels, alright.

"Sorry. But do you know how cute you are when you get tickled?"

Clearing her throat, she pushed up onto her elbows before answering me. "That is… because I didn't get to run around outside the way you did. Not after my ninth birthday. So my feet are…"

Oh. Well that was a sad reason for them to be extra sensitive. But I decided to simply kiss the one I had been attacking and say, "Perfect. You were gonna say 'perfect' right? Because that's the only answer I'm accepting right now."

Shaking her head a little at me, she let out an exasperated sigh that was followed by a small smile. "You're too kind to me."

"Nah. Just know you deserve the best."

Again, I kissed, and she hummed as her smile grew. When my lips parted to let my tongue slide between two of her toes, she rolled her eyes and pulled her foot away. "Fine, I get it, you love every inch of me."

"Glad we got that straightened out. Now, I have my eye on a couple of pastries… one sec."

Her hand raised up to rest on the back of my head when I attacked her chest. I figured she would probably appreciate having some time to recover before I went back between her thighs. The sounds floating out of her lungs were every bit as enthralling as if I had gone straight for the crux of her thighs, of course, but at least this way I could enjoy my cake a little longer.

"You are… so persistent." I switched to the other peak, my hand wrapping around the mountain below and kneading just enough to add pressure and pleasure without causing pain. "Mmmhh, and I almost want to ask if you have been practicing on someone else!"

"Maybe I made an ice-replica," I shot at her as I moved back down. Her grin was so huge. "Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this."

"You make it sound like you're about to go cliff-diving!" she laughed.

"Oh, I am. I'm about to dive down deep into your sound."

Elsa's lips parted, probably to reprimand me for another corny line. But all that came out was a moan when I pressed my mouth tightly against her soft folds through the frosting and chocolate. And I intended to clean every speck of that from her by the time I was finished.

My Elsa. My queen of snow and ice, grace and beauty and power. The only woman in the world. My mind and heart were full of desire for the goddess I was making writhe with my every teasing touch. And it wasn't just that she was the most beautiful girl in Arendelle, not that she had given me an orgasm so recently. This was about way more than repaying a debt or physical beauty; it was my sister. The one person who had always been a part of me, and who always will.

"A-Anna!" she gasped — well, she had been doing that for a couple of minutes, but this one was louder and stronger. Somehow, I just knew what she meant. "I'm… I'm still scared! I love you!"

I loved her, too. But I wanted to show her in some way besides slowing down to tell her with words. So I moved one hand from her hip to push our fork into hers, which had been clutching uselessly at another pile of birthday cake. And wow, did she respond! My hand was caught with the fork between our fingers, and it was such a tight grip that I felt like she would never let me go again.

Which did as much for me as I might have been doing for her.

There was more snow this time. Somehow, I had kind of expected that; I mean, when you tell an ice witch that she shouldn't hold back with her power, you're going to get more power. Makes sense, right? But even while I was still feeling her flesh pulse against my lips and tongue, her juices running down my chin, tiny pinpricks of cold were dusting my back in the spots that weren't covered by chocolate.

"Oh," I panted when I finally came up for air, satisfied that she no longer needed little licks for little aftershocks. "Snow! See? I told you everything would be fine. And this isn't even that bad!"

Though of course, we were both looking around at the winter wonderland filling the room. It was only a couple of inches deep, but spread over that large an area it still added up to a decent amount.

"It's… a lot," she panted. "But at least there aren't any… nothing dangerous."

Scoffing, I crawled up to lay my head on her shoulder, curling my entire body around hers as tightly as I could. Needing to be that close to her now. "Dangerous? You? Come on, you're a big pussycat."

"We both know… that's… a stretch." Finally, she cleared her throat and simply took in a couple of deep breaths so she wouldn't be so winded. Then she turned to look into my eyes with a smile full of afterglow and affection. "Thank you. For that, for all of this; for my perfect birthday night."

"Yeah. You got it. I'm always going to show you how much I love you, no matter how big I have to go to get the point across."

"Anna, you don't have to. I already know." We shared a firm kiss. Then she crinkled her nose. "Oh, that's… did you really enjoy me adding that to your cake? It's so strange."

"Maybe I wouldn't have if I didn't know what it was," I admitted with a giggle. "But knowing? Oh yeah. Totally hot."

"If you say so." Then she suddenly looked horrified. "Oh no — my lips have- you were kissing-"

"All I tasted was Sister-Queen and cake," I headed her off before she actually said it out loud. "Don't have to make it even more gross. Seriously, you didn't run away from my butt? I thought that would be a fate worse than death!"

"No, no," she reassured me, completely contented now that we had both enjoyed ourselves and could relax. "I wasn't lying for your benefit; it wasn't that bad. Especially when mixed with chocolate cake. Though I agree with you about my essence on this subject; probably wouldn't have enjoyed it not knowing what it is, or by itself. Well…"

Running my index fingertip in small circles on her stomach, I prompted, "Well?"

"I could try it by itself. Maybe. Someday."

"Go ahead. I won't… well, I might judge a little, but since we're already sisters who knock boots, it's not gonna hold a lot of water."

"Mmhmm. I suppose that's a valid point."

"Ohhhhh, I just wanna lay here forever!" I burst out as I curled even harder around Elsa, and she laughed again, nuzzling into my hair. "Though I do have another bath ready in the next chamber. I'm no doctor, but it's probably not the best idea for us to leave cake in some of the places we have cake right now."

Nodding, she whispered, "In a minute. This is so comfortable. Actually, I'm surprised we're not sinking all the way down to the floor."

"Oh — yeah, that's because we took a bed-sized wooden box and made the cake on top of that. Like, it's pretty much a bunch of little cakes smushed together in a grid pattern to make one huge sheet cake, and then we just put the icing all over it and down the sides with the right colours and patterns. So it looked like a real bed, with a quilt and all."

"Clever," she chuckled, scratching at my rib cage just enough to prompt a giggle from me before she stopped. "Really, I was flabbergasted at first, but now I really admire all the work you did for this. Because it turned out to be a lot of fun."

Her praise made my heart glow. "It did, didn't it? Chocolate cake slumber party. Go me."

We both fell into the kind of comfortable silence you can only have with family. Lover, sister, friend… Elsa was all of those things to me. And we had beaten all the odds and found our way back to each other, and we were alive, and our lives were wonderful. There wasn't much else I could ask for.

"I love you, my Anna," she breathed into my hair before rolling over to prop herself up on her elbow and look at me. I mirrored the gesture, gazing into her eyes.

"Love you, too, Majesty. And I always will."

Elsa kissed me hard and long, and held me close for such a long time that time itself ceased to hold meaning. Definitely not your run-of-the-mill anniversary of being born, but I finally knew: what we had? Different-good. The best kind of different a princess could ask for.

                                                      ~ Takk for Reisen ~

[wonkasmissstarshine]

The Chocolatier’s Rose {Willy Wonka x OC} Ch. 12

GIFs not mine. Credit go to owners.

Summary: It’s the last room of the tour, and Mike finds himself in a small situation.

Tagging: @holdmeicant​ @willymywonkers​

Once the elevator reached the bright, white Television Room, everyone stepped out of the elevator. "Here!" Willy said, grabbing a pair of thick white rimmed goggles. He put them on. "Put these on quick, and don't take them off whatever you do. This light could burn your eyeballs right out of your skulls" Everyone else put their goggles on while Willy grabbed a second pair. He placed the goggles onto Rose. "And we certainly don't want that, do we?" He whispered, brushing her hair out of her face. He then gently stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Especially not your pretty eyes"

Rose smiled at him. Willy turned around and began leading everyone down a white walkway as he began to explain about the room. "This is the testing room for my very latest and greatest invention: Television Chocolate. One day it occurred to me, "Hey, if television can break up a photograph into millions and millions of tiny little pieces, and send it whizzing through the air, then reassemble it on the other end, why can't I do the same thing with chocolate? Why can't I send a real bar of chocolate through the television, all ready to be eaten?"

An Oompa-Loompa was sitting in a chair with a remote in hand. He clicked through the various channels on the television set. "Sounds impossible" Mr Teavee said.

"It is impossible!" Mike agreed arrogantly. He then began to spout out information that was just useless. "You don't understand anything about science. First off, there's a difference between waves and particles. Duh!" Willy's lips curled in annoyance. "Second, the amount of power it would take to convert energy would be like nine atomic bombs!"

"Mumbler!" Willy turned around and yelled in Mike's face. It was clear he was fed up with the boy. "Seriously, I cannot understand a single word you're saying" Willy straightened his posture, facing forward again. "Okie dokie. I shall now send a bar of chocolate from one end of the room to the other by television" He put his hand up to his mouth. "Bring in the chocolate!"

About six Oompa-Loompas waked over carrying a very large Wonka Nutty Crunch Surprise Bar.  "It's gotta be real big 'cause you know how on tv you can film a regular-size man, and he comes out looking this tall?" He showed using his index finger and thumb, measuring three inches. "Same basic principle" Once the bar was placed on a platform, Willy pressed a red button. The bar was levitated into the air, and encased in glass. There was a blinding white flash and the bar was gone.

"It's gone!" Charlie exclaimed.

Willy looked at Charlie. "Told you. Now, that bar of chocolate is now rushing through the air above our heads in a million tiny little pieces" He waved his fingers in the air. He turned around and urged everyone to follow him. "Come over here! Come on! Come on!"

They all walked over to the television. The Oompa-Loompa that was watching it had it stopped on a channel with gorillas. "Watch the screen!" Willy said excitedly. "Here it comes" A smile played on his face as the chocolate bar came into focus. "Look!" He tapped Mike on the arm. "Take it"

Mike looked incredulously at him. "It's just a picture on a screen"

"Scaredy-cat" Willy faced Charlie instead. "You take it!" Charlie seemed unsure, but Willy encouraged him further. "Go on, just reach out and grab it"

"Go ahead, Charlie" Rose told her brother, also trying to encourage him. "Take it" Charlie stepped forward and reached through the screen. He grabbed the bar and pulled it out of the television. "Holy Buckets!" Rose muttered in amazement.

Charlie looked at the bar and then smiled up at Willy. "Eat it" Willy urged him. "Go on. It'll be delicious. It's the same bar. It's just gotten a little smaller on the journey, that's all"  Charlie started unwrapping the bar. Willy kept on encouraging him, even biting his own teeth together.

Charlie took a small bite into the bar. "It's great!" Charlie smiled.

"It's a miracle" Rose said dreamily.

Willy walked over and stood by the Oompa-Loompa in the chair. "So imagine, you're sitting at home, watching television, and suddenly a commercial will flash onto the screen, and a voice will say, "Wonka's chocolates are the best in the world. If you don't believe us, try one for yourself" And you simply reach out," Willy reached his hand out, and then retracted it back, as if he was grabbing something. "And take it!" He grinned, specifically at Rose, and tilted his head. "How about that?"

"So, can you send other things?" Mr Teavee asked. "Say, like breakfast cereal?"

"Do you have any idea what breakfast cereals are made of?" Willy retorted, his voice full of disgust. "It's those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners"

Rose giggled at that, a fond memory of Mrs Mason saying that exact same thing dancing through her head. She wasn't a fan of breakfast cereals either. "Pies for breakfast," Mrs Mason would say. "That's the way it should be. Not those pencil shavings you call cereal"

"But you could send it by television if you wanted to?" Charlie asked Willy curiously.

"Of course I could" Willy answered proudly.

Mike, now having interest in Willy's invention, asked him. "What about people?"

"Well why would I send a person? They don't taste very good at all"

"Don't you realize what you've invented? It's a teleporter!" Mike shouted. Willy and Rose shared annoyed glances with each other, both of them done with the little snot. "It's the most important invention in the history of the world. And all you can think about is chocolate" Mike spat out the word like it was poison on his tongue.

Mr Teavee told his son in a calm voice. "Calm down, Mike. I think Mr Wonka knows what he's talking about"

Mike argued with his father. "No, he doesn't! He has no idea. You think he's a genius, but he's an idiot! But I'm not" Mike made a mad dash for the platform, jumping over the Oompa-Loompa in the chair, and pushing two others out of his way.

"Hey, little boy" Willy warned in an irritated tone. "Don't push my button!" He meant it both literally and figuratively.

It was no use with Mike as he pushed the button and hopped onto the platform. He levitated into the air, doing disco dance moves and waved at everyone before he disappeared within the flash of light.

"He's gone!" Mr Teavee exclaimed.

"Let's go check the television, see what we get" Willy said. Everyone went back to the television. "I sure hope no part of him gets left behind"

Mr Teavee looked at Willy. "What do you mean?"

"Well, sometimes only half the little pieces find their way through" Willy looked at Mr Teavee, a grin on his face. "If you only had to choose one half of your son, which one would it be?"

Mr Teavee looked at him again but with shock. "What kind of a question is that?"

Willy looked at the television again. His smile turned into a pout. "No need to snap. Just a question" He turned to the seated Oompa-Loompa. "Try every channel. I'm starting to feel a little anxious" Willy turned forward again, and the Oompa-Loompa began channel surfing.

"There he is!" Charlie said as the television landed on a news channel.

"Mike!" Mr Teavee gasped. The Oompa-Loompas broke out into song again, this time to a rock number. Various channels flashed on throughout the song including the news channel, a cooking channel, two Oompa-Loompas playing with Rockem Sockem Robots, the shower scene from the movie Psycho, and the Oompa-Loompas as a rock band.

The most important thing

That we've ever learned

The most important thing we've learned

As far as children are concerned

Is never, never let them near a television set

Or better still just don't install the idiotic thing at all

(Never, never let them, never, never let them)

It rots the senses in the head

It kills imagination dead

It clogs and clutters up the mind

It makes a child so dull and blind

(So dull and blind, so dull and blind)

He can no longer understand

A fairytale in fairyland

(In Fairyland, in Fairyland)

His brain becomes as soft as cheese

His thinking powers rust and freeze

He cannot think he only sees

(He only sees, he only sees)

Regarding little Mike Teavee

We very much regret that we (regret that we)

Shall simply have to wait and see

We very much regret that we

Shall simply have to wait and see

If we can get him back to size

But if we can't

It serves him right

"Ew!" Willy cringed, when Mike was squashed by the news anchor Oompa-Loompa. "Somebody grab him!"

"Help me! Help me!" Mike shrieked through his now high-pitched voice.

Mr Teavee reached into the television and grabbed his one-inch son. "Oh thank heavens, he's completely unharmed" Willy said. He meant it sarcastically but Mr Teavee didn't understand that.

"Unharmed!?" Mr Teavee said, completely appalled. "What are you talking about?"

"Just put me back in the other way!" Mike squeaked.

"There is no other way!" Willy told the tiny boy. "It's television, not telephone. There's quite a difference"

"And what exactly do you propose we do about it?" Mr Teavee asked.

"I don't know" Willy answered, with a little shake of his head. "But young men are extremely springy. They stretch like mad" Willy gasped and a smile came across his face. "Let's go put him the the Taffy Puller!"

"Taffy Puller!?" Mr Teavee was mortified at the suggestion.

"Hey, that was my idea!" Willy said, his smile dropping. He looked at little Mike. "Boy, is he gonna be skinny" He then quietly repeated to himself, "Yeah. Taffy Puller" Willy turned to the Oompa-Loompa. "I want you to take Mr Teavee and his..." Willy paused a moment, taking another look at Mike "little boy up to the Taffy Puller, okay?"

The Oompa-Loompa bowed to Willy. He then tugged on Mr Teavee's pants, and lead him out of the room. Willy let out a relieved sigh once the Teavee's were gone. He turned to Charlie and Rose, the two remaining guests. "On with the tour. There's still so much left to see!"

[veryberrybrenda]

Thrill

Pairing: Adam x Lucia Langford

Summary: Unit Bravo go undercover at a gala to arrest a changeling, but things take a complicated turn. 

Notes: This is day 4 of Wayhaven Week 2020 by @otomefandomevents

The drive to the gala was filled with Felix’s excited chatter about feeling like he was in a James Bond movie. Lucia couldn’t help but wholeheartedly agree with the feeling herself. Not knowing what will happen next left a thrill in her system that she just couldn’t get anywhere else. However, the mission wasn’t the only source of thrill she felt.

She couldn’t help but notice Adam stealing glances at her from the passenger seat. His eyes would linger a little too long on the slit in her lavender dress, the bare skin of her toned legs making a slight flush appear on his pale cheeks that he tried so hard to hide by staring a thousand yards ahead at the window.

The action only intensified Felix’s amusement. “See something you like there, Adam?” Even in the dim light of the night sky, Felix’s amber eyes seemed to glow in the rear view mirror.

“What I would like is for this mission to go as according to plan,” Adam replied dryly, no emotion in his voice as he dodged the question.

“You didn’t answer his question, Adam,” Lucia added, feeling the full effect of his green-eyed glare. It only served to make her smile wider at the leader’s attempt to regain his composure.

“Fine, you look nice today,” Adam mumbled quietly, words rushed as though he didn’t want her to understand them.

The compliment had her loosening her grip on the steering wheel as she soaked in this rare moment, grin even wider than before. “You’re looking handsome as always.”

Adam whipped his head back to the window so fast that if he wasn’t a vampire, he would’ve broken his neck. She could also hear the sound of Felix trying his best to suppress a chuckle.

After a few minutes, they arrived at their destination. The hotel bustled with guests dressed in the finest clothes entering the hotel for the annual charity banquet. She found an empty parking spot near the side of the lot.

As she killed the engine, Adam tapped on is mic, “We’ve arrived. Is everyone in position?”

“Roger, roger.” The sound came out as clear as day from the small mic in her ear, but it also echoed in the car as she saw Felix giggling at his act of mischief, which had Adam rolling his eyes.

“Focus,” Rebecca snapped, tone reprimanding.  

“Mason and I are in position,” Nate replied through the mic.

“Good, now remember the plan. Nate and Mason will be covering the ballroom making sure that the changelings aren’t posing as guests, while Felix searches the staff, and Adam and Lucia will be checking the rooms. Once you have visual on the targets, don’t let them out of your sight,” Rebecca said sternly. “Immediately call for backup and try your best to prevent guests from seeing anything. Is everyone clear?”

A multitude of responses follow, all signaling that they’re ready. “I’ll be outside in the car monitoring the progress. Now go.” Her mother’s voice ringed of confidence that she hopes isn’t misplaced.

With that, they all exited the car, the warm, humid air settling against Lucia’s tan skin. She smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress that accumulated during the ride. Her heart sped up when she felt a pair of green eyes tracking her every movement, observing her with a soft expression, lips parted in unsaid words, but it was now her turn to drink the sight of him in.

His dark blue suit was a nice change of color from his usual grey tee and she approved of the way his suit was expertly tailored to the contours of his muscles. Unlike Felix with a black suit and a purple bowtie, Adam sported no such accessory, instead preferring to leave a few buttons undone at the top, exposing the slightest hint of his chest that her fingers ached to touch.

Nate must’ve helped him get ready because no way does that man have enough style sense to leave his buttons like that.

Their gawking observing of each other ended when Felix grabbed both of their hands, excitement making his steps faster as he dragged them towards the bright hotel.

-    

Lucia was almost disappointed that she was away from all the action of the ballroom. She had secretly hoped that Adam would’ve offered her a dance, but she doubted if he was able to dance at all with him being so stiff.

“How many more floors do we have to go through?” She whined, her foot already in pain from her silver heels.

“Just three more.”

She stopped walking and leaned against the wall, causing a concerned look from Adam as he turned back to face her. “Can you give me a second? My feet hurt.”

Adam’s eyes hardened once again, and he released a scoff, “You should’ve worn more appropriate shoes then.”

“That wouldn’t match with my dress,” Lucia countered while taking off her heels.

Disdain flashed on his face. “You are so careless. This mission could be in stake because you decided that some shoes were more important than a mission.” He didn’t hold back on the mocking tone as he continued to stare her down as if she was a child.

Anger was starting to boil inside of Lucia as she marched with her bare feet towards the leader, heels in one hand and the other tightly clenching her clutch. “You out of all people should know that I will sacrifice anything for a mission,” she said with a low, threatening tone that had Adam flinching, a look of pain flashing on his face at the painful memory.

Lucia immediately regret saying those words. The images of Adam lying limply in her arms with burn marks covering his body filled her mind. She had followed his orders, but every ounce of her regretted the choice.

“I’m sorry, Adam.” Shame filled her black eyes as she took in his coiled muscles that would have broken a piece of furniture by now. “I didn’t mean-.”

“No,” he interrupted her, face morphing back to his stoic mask. “You’re right. You follow orders and that’s all I require of you.” Adam said the words with such cold that had Lucia flinching, heart aching in her chest.

As Adam was about to turn away, his eyes suddenly widen, nose sniffing the air. Lucia quickly strapped her heels back on as she followed the vampire to the door at the end of the hall. His eyes are closed in concentration as he stands in front of the metal door. “I count two voices in there,” he whispered, careful to not to alert the changelings.

She nods, both of them putting a little distance from the room as she taps on the mic in her ear. “We found two inside room 135. Sixth floor.”

“Good work. Do not engage until the others arrive. Is that understood, Lucia?”

Lucia didn’t appreciate how her mom aimed that statement directly at her. “Yes ma’am,” she said with a sigh.

“Be careful.” Rebecca meant for it to sound like a command, but it came out softer than she expected.

“I will, Mom,” Lucia replied.

With that, her mic went quiet. She took a deep breath, calming her nerves. “So, what do we do now?” Her eyes on the team leader.

“We make sure they don’t leave,” he says, eyes still on the door.

“Okie-dokie artichokie.”

Adam’s lips formed into a small smile that was gone in an instant, making Lucia debate if it was even there in the first place.

The door to the room suddenly opened and Adam instantly took his place in front of her, shielding her from danger. Two men emerged staring at them with confusion. One man had light brown hair and tan skin, wearing a brown suit with a black tie, while the other man had black hair and pale skin, wearing a grey suit with a matching black tie.

If Lucia acts now, they may still have the upper hand since their cover hasn’t been blown yet. She stepped out from behind Adam, which was received with a glare from him, but she ignored it, plastering on the most charming smile she could muster. “Oh, hi there, my boyfriend and I.” She wrapped an arm around Adam’s waist, muscles tense under her touch. “Are just wondering what’s the best club to go to after this amazing party.” She placed her right hand on her hip, just above the slit in her dress, where her stun gun was conveniently hidden in her thigh holster. She only hoped that her nervousness hadn’t slipped that much into her voice.

The black-haired man narrowed his eyes at her, and she could hear her heart hammering inside her chest. “Have I seen you somewhere before? You look very familiar.”

“I’ve been told I have the type of face that looks like a lot of people. Maybe you’re confusing me with someone else with lavender hair.” This time, Lucia couldn’t control her nerves anymore and her voice came out too high-pitched to sound natural.

The brown-haired man’s eyes widen, and Lucia knew she was fucked. “You’re the agent with the special blood!”

She pulled out her stun gun as Adam charged at the brown-haired man. Upon seeing his companion struggling, the black-haired man decided it was best to flee while he still can and rushed past Lucia, dodging all of her shots.

Without thinking, she raced down the hall to catch up with the man, heels slowing her down, silently praying that her gun would recharge faster. Lucia rejoiced when she heard the familiar beep of her gun, signaling it was ready for action.

I got you now.

She fired all her shots and the man dropped like a stone to the ground right as he was about to reach the stairs. Satisfied with her work, she went back to check on her teammate.

Upon arriving, confusion took hold of her mind as she stared at two Adams fighting each other. Their limbs were so entangled that if she fired, she might risk hitting the real Adam.

One looked up at her, relief in his eyes. “Shoot him, he’s the real changeling!” A punch from the other Adam sends him tumbling into the wall, leaving a nasty dent.

“He’s lying. He’s the fake one!” the other Adam hissed, dodging a kick.

If Lucia shoots the real Adam, then the changeling would escape. There was a fifty-fifty chance she would get it right.

Another idea popped into her head. If I shoot them both, no one escapes, and I can wait for the others to arrive to figure out which one is the real Adam.

She steadies her breathing and raises her gun. I’m so sorry Adam.

She fires.

-

Adam’s eyes open to a white ceiling. Twisting his head, familiar grey walls signal that he’s in his room. Looking down at himself, he sees that he’s still wearing his blue suit with the addition of a few scuff marks.

“You’re finally awake.” Standing in the doorway is the Detective, feet bare, still in her dress that accentuated her curves and looking effortlessly beautiful. “I know that a stun gun can’t actually hurt you, but it still worried me.” A nervous laugh escapes her mouth as she makes her way over to him. Adam’s body instinctively sits up to make room for her on his bed.

She plops down on the bed, hands running through her curls as she gazes at him, eyes full of guilt. “I’m sorry I shot you. It was the only way to make sure the changeling didn’t escape.”

His lips thinned into a frown as he took in her words. How could she be sad when she did what any competent agent would do? She put the mission first. Something that he has trouble doing now ever since she entered his life.

Without him even realizing what he was doing, his hand reached out to take hers. A smile formed on her lips at the touch that had Adam’s heart skipping a few beats. “You did what was necessary for the mission and I couldn’t be more proud,” Adam confessed, truth backing every word. “We did catch both of them, right?” A little worry in his words as his shoulder tensed.

A giggle escaped from her lips. “Of course. They’re both being interrogated in the facility right now.”

“Good.” Adam didn’t know if it was the thrill of a successful mission or the sound of Lucia’s laugh, but his heart felt lighter than it usually did.