#readmore broke for some reason

[rosanna-writer]

we said hello and your eyes look like coming home (23/?)

Summary: A canon-divergent AU where the bond snaps for Rhys on Calanmai, Feyre unwittingly accepts it, and Fire Night magic proves to be more transformative than anyone bargained for. Feyre drags a mate she hardly knows out from Under the Mountain, then puts him back together as war with Hybern approaches. Warnings: dubious consent, canon-typical sexual violence, canon-typical violence Rating: Explicit Chapter Word Count: ~4k

ch. 1 - 10 | ch. 11-20 | ch. 21 - i wouldn't marry me either | ch. 22 - burn all the files, desert all your past lives | ch. 23 - i've still got love for you

Some text in this chapter is lifted directly from ACOTAR book one.

I am also over the moon and insanely honored to share that there is now ART OF THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THIS FIC!!!!! It's by the love of my life Amnevitah, and you can go make heart eyes at it and tell her she's wonderful over here on her tumblr (warning that it's mildly NSFW).

Read on AO3 or you can find the twenty-third chapter below the readmore.

It was nearly midnight when I made my way to Nesta's bedroom in a borrowed nightgown, late enough that the servants were gone and Elain was sound asleep. I knocked on the door once, and she ushered me inside without a word.

Like the rest of the manor, Nesta's bedroom was full of furniture fit for a palace and utterly devoid of personal touches. It might as well have been a guest room.

I hovered near the door and watched Nesta open a hidden compartment in the writing desk near the window. She pulled something out and placed it on a side table. I stepped closer to get a better look.

A chunk of wood. The edges were rough, as if it had been ripped from something. I started to ask her where it had come from, but when I spotted the tangle of vines I'd painted on it, I understood.

"I had to watch as Father and Elain went from sobbing hysterics into nothing. I had to listen to them talk about how lucky it was for you to be taken to some made-up aunt’s house, how some winter wind had shattered our door. And I thought I’d gone mad—but every time I did, I would look at that painted part of the table, then at the claw marks farther down, and know it wasn’t in my head. So tell me everything and leave none of it out," Nesta said quietly, sinking down into the chair by the desk.

My heart broke to think what she'd gone through—what Tamlin had put her through. His lies to me might have been in service of saving his people, but there was no reason for my sister's sanity to be collateral damage. Tamlin had paid my father off, then washed his hands of the matter without bothering to ensure that his glamour had worked.

It was sloppy and thoughtless, and not for the first time, I wondered how many people ultimately would have died if I'd stayed in the Spring Court a moment longer.

I sat on the bed, tucking my feet under me, and started at the beginning. The very beginning, fifty years ago when Rhys had gone to that damned party and Amarantha had taken over.

I'd barely gotten a few words out when Nesta was already interrupting. "Is your High Lord too stupid to employ poison-testers?"

"I…I don't think any of them do, actually."

"It seems Prythian is ruled by idiots, then. Perhaps that explains why this Rhysand married you."

"You know nothing about what Rhys has been though," I hissed, clenching my teeth so I didn't yell the words and wake up Elain.

Nesta waved a hand, an elegant, dismissive gesture. "Then continue."

So I did. And to Nesta's credit, she listened intently, her lips pressed together in a thin line, as I described the curse, my arrival in Prythian, and those early days in the Spring Court.

Somehow, it calmed something within me to tell the whole tale again now that I knew everything. I wasn't used to having a confidant, and I couldn't remember a time before this that speaking to Nesta had felt like a lightening a burden.

It was strange, but not unwelcome.

I braced myself when I started to describe my first meeting with Rhys on Calanmai. Nesta had once sneered at me for rutting in the barn with Isaac Hale—I was sure she'd have some choice words about a mating frenzy that had taken place in a cave.

But she merely furrowed her brow and said, "Your marriage was….arranged, then? By the stag?"

I nearly snapped and told her no—I'd specifically told Rhys not to marry me, after all. And Nesta knew he wasn't my husband. But…she'd never feel the pull of a mating bond for herself, and the concept was completely foreign to her. Perhaps this was the way to make her understand.

"By the Mother herself. The stag merely…cleared our path to each other. I'm not sure what would have happened if it didn't, but I think it probably saved us quite a lot of heartbreak, in the end."

"That's such an odd way to speak about a man you've been shackled to against your will," she said, shaking her head.

The Inner Circle had also been horrified when they'd realized I'd accepted the bond without knowing what I was doing. If even Nesta was worried about it…perhaps there was something wrong with me for not being more distressed. But even though I'd had to go Under the Mountain for Rhys, I still felt profoundly lucky that everything I could possibly want had just been dropped into my lap on Calanmai.

I shrugged. "There's no reason to be upset when I would have chosen him for myself anyway." That was the truth at the center of everything.

There was a flicker of understanding, and—if I wasn't mistaken—relief in Nesta's eyes. "And I take it he feels the same?"

"Yes."

"Good." There was an edge to her voice, and I wondered what she would have said if my answer had been no.

There was still so much to tell her, so I continued, describing my arrival at the Night Court—though I didn't mention Velaris, merely said that Rhys had directed me to a warded home. Nesta didn't ask about the tattoo the magic had given me, just scowled at my left hand. She said nothing about my immortality either, instead interrogating me about the Inner Circle and their ranks and roles and relations to Rhys.

They were, perhaps, the sort of questions I should have asked on that first day. But unlike me, Nesta knew how to get the lay of a land in a noble court and assess her place in it.

If my eldest sister were dropped in the Court of Nightmares, I had no doubt she'd be running it within a day.

I hadn't spoken about Under the Mountain at length with anyone but Rhys before that night, and getting the words out under Nesta's uncompromising steel glare was difficult. My sister and I weren't linked through mating bond and shared experience. My voice shook, and at points I felt faintly sick, but I managed to tell her everything.

Even with Rhys…I'd needed to hold back. My own few weeks Under the Mountain paled in comparison to his decades there alone, and I knew on some level, even though I'd never voiced it aloud, that he'd had it worse than me. Without even realizing it, I'd been carrying around a prickly sort of guilt over that.

Once, I would have spent several days with a paintbrush in hand until I'd gotten those feelings out, but since I could barely stand to look at a canvas anymore, it all had been festering inside of me.

So to my immense embarrassment, I cried in front of Nesta.

For once, she didn't say anything harsh, just wordlessly handed me a handkerchief. I didn't mind—it would be strange for her to coddle me. Instead, she pretended nothing was amiss as I wiped at my eyes and finished the rest of the story, all the way through my trip to Illyria and the Weaver's cottage and the attacks on the temples.

At the end of it, Nesta merely said, "This is all the more reason you shouldn't come back here again."

I could see her logic, but that didn't make it any less a kick in the teeth. "Elain and Father deserve proper goodbyes."

"It's too much of a risk," she said, eyes flashing dangerously. It would be ugly if I tried to fight her on this; Nesta, who had once put herself in front of Elain and left me to the beast that broke into our cabin, would always protect our middle sister, even if that meant casting me aside.

I should have been used to that by now, but it still hurt.

"Then at least allow the sentries around the manor to stay. There are far too many fae who would wish us harm, and their numbers will only increase if war breaks out like we fear."

"As long as the sentries keep their distance."

They would, but of course Nesta had no reason to be sure of that. A thought struck me. "They answer to Cassian, Rhys's general. I could send him to meet with you and discuss the specifics, if that would ease your mind."

I expected Nesta to balk at interacting with any more faeries, but she asked, "Does he listen to orders?"

"He will if you give them. My position as Lady of Night makes you and Elain something akin to princesses in Prythian." Mor had explained it to me once, though I wasn't interested enough to remember the details about ranks and noble titles. It would matter to Nesta, though.

She nodded once, then stared down at her hands, which were folded in her lap. "Thank you," she said, a bit more softly, "and for what it's worth, this is easier, knowing you've gotten everything you deserve. After that beast took you away, it's a relief, truly, to know that Rhysand loves you and is keeping you safe."

I stilled. It was beyond a doubt the kindest thing Nesta had ever said to me. I hadn't thought she'd cared at all what had become of me in Prythian.

"Elain said—said that you tried to visit me," I said, my throat so tight I barely got the words out.

"I got to the Wall. I couldn't find a way through."

“You trekked two days there and two days back—through the winter woods?”

“I hired that mercenary from town to bring me a week after you were taken. With the money from your pelt. She was the only one who seemed like she would believe me.”

“You did that—for me?” Rhys was the only person in the world that I'd truly believed would bother, and no matter how much he loved me, a mating bond made everything different. Mor had tried to soften the truth on my first day in the Night Court, but even she had admitted the Inner Circle was duty-bound to protect their High Lord's mate, and I'd only become their friend later.

"What Tamlin did to you—it wasn't right. None of it was right."

Nesta finally met my gaze, and for once, the fire in her blue-grey eyes wasn't intended to burn me. We weren't drowning anymore—the lifeline of her anger was unnecessary now, and she knew it. In her darkened bedroom in a too-clean manor, we'd found just enough safety that she'd let me know she cared.

Underneath it all, Nesta cared, more deeply and loyally than I'd been able to comprehend.

There were no words for that. I launched myself at her, and Nesta went stiff in my arms as I embraced her. She didn't hug me back, just…patted my upper back awkwardly after a moment. I didn't mind—that was downright affectionate from her.

I pulled away and said, "If I'm unable to return here, will— will I at least be able to write?"

"Is there a way to ensure your correspondence stays private?"

I caught the meaning behind that—Nesta was confident in her own ability to keep a secret, but she knew too little about my own situation to be sure I could do the same. It wouldn't have crossed my mind—after all, I hadn't even learned to read until Rhys ensured I was taught—but my sister had been expected to marry a prince one day. She'd been trained for a life where sensitive letters falling into the wrong hands could cause a reputation-ruining scandal.

She was right to ask, though, so I explained how paper spelled to vanish was used to pass messages across Prythian. And by some miracle…she agreed to let me leave some with her.

"Rhys can deliver it tonight, if that's alright," I said; I'd feel better knowing it was in her hands when I left. Nesta nodded her assent. "Give me a moment to ask him, then."

Ignoring the grimace Nesta made as my gaze went distant, I gave the gentlest tug on the bond I could. I was still met with a wave of blind protectbitemaimkill panic the moment Rhys's shields dropped. He hadn't expected to hear from me until morning.

All is well, I said, reaching for the beast. I could feel its hackles rising in the back of my mind.

With a mental hand, I scratched a sensitive spot on its chin, right under the maw with its rows and rows of razor-sharp teeth, the thing that threatened to gobble up sleeping fae in their nightmares. Its eyes closed at my touch, and it purred like an affectionate cat.

Nothing's amiss. I just have a favor to ask, I added.

Anything. You know that, he said. I was dimly aware of a spiral of anxiety—some sort of fear that I didn't know that. Stroking the beast's flank like it was a nervous horse, I kicked the worry away.

If it's not too much trouble, could you please bring us some of the enchanted paper you use for correspondence? I'd like to make sure Nesta has a way to contact me directly.

Talons shifted into fingers that gently tucked an errant strand of my hair behind my ear. There's no such thing as too much trouble where you're concerned. Call for me again when you want me there.

Thank you. Just as I'd kicked away his concern, I felt his claw shred my lingering discomfort at asking him to do something on my behalf.

His mind began to pull away from mine, but he stopped halfway. Are you sure you're alright? The emotions on your side of the bond seem to be…churning.

I hesitated. There was no point in lying, but I was tempted to say we'd talk about it later. I didn't want him to worry any further, either. For now, I could give Rhys the bare minimum. I learned that Nesta tried to go to the Wall and bring me back after I was taken. She wasn't able to get through, though.

An image flashed across the bond before Rhys could stop it—a female with his pointed ears, violet eyes, and massive wingspan. She was standing on one of the footbridges that spanned the Sidra, her head thrown back in raucous laughter and the lights of the Rainbow sparkling behind her. A happy memory, but at the same time, it felt like looking at a painful, howling void.

Another younger sister whose elder sibling hadn't been able to save her. But unlike me, she didn't have a mate who'd eventually swooped in and brought her to safety.

I'll see you soon, Rhys said, then dropped his shields before I had a chance to respond.

Nesta quickly pinned her hair up and changed into a gown, but I didn't bother. Regardless, it gave Rhys time to pass through the Wall again. When she assured me she was ready, I gave another light tug on the bond.

Rhys appeared with nothing more than a gust of night-kissed wind so gentle it barely made the curtains flutter. He held a small, black-and-silver box in one hand, identical to one I'd seen holding blank paper on his desk in the House of Wind. He'd had the good sense to hide his wings, and the leash on his power was tighter than I'd ever felt it.

Even when he subdued himself, Rhys still felt too enormous and otherworldly for this side of the Wall. Between the night still clinging to him and the width of his obnoxiously broad shoulders, he seemed to take up the whole room.

And yet, as if he were an entirely normal person and none of the current circumstances were bizarre, he pressed a chaste kiss to my cheek and said, "Hello, Feyre darling."

To her credit, Nesta didn't flinch. Or hiss at him. Which already meant this was going better than I'd anticipated.

Before either of them could make this worse, I said, "This is my sister, Nesta Archeron. Nesta, this is my mate, Rhysand."

To my shock Rhys bent at the waist and bowed—actually bowed—to my sister. Polite and graceful, his upbringing as a crown prince on full display and all signs of the Illyrian warrior hidden.

Nesta's face was frozen in a mask of cold indifference. "No surname?" she said, and those two words were enough to let a nasty implication hang in the air—that Rhys wasn't pedigreed, despite being a High Lord.

His mother had been a seamstress, after all. If I didn't know better, I would have thought Nesta could smell that on him.

Rhys didn't blink. "Archeron. Or at least, it will be when we're ready to make the mating bond public knowledge."

It was a small miracle I caught myself before my mouth gaped open in surprise; he hadn't told me he'd intended to take my name. A glimmer of wicked amusement and a twinge of pride floated down the bond towards me.

Nesta, however, just cocked her head like she was sizing up an opponent, almost exactly the way Cassian did in the training ring. "I won't be mocked in my own home. You can leave."

"I'd rather be known as Feyre's mate than my father's son," Rhys said, picking invisible lint off his tunic in a gesture that was clearly calculated to look as nonchalant as possible. "I'm not mocking you. Feyre is an infinitely better person than he ever was."

Nesta went quiet. I wondered if it was as strange for her as it was for me to hear someone call me good and mean it. Rhys glanced at me, his expression melting into something soft for a moment, and Nesta tracked his movement like a hawk.

Before the silence stretched long enough to become awkward, Rhys held the box of stationery out to her and added, "This is for you."

Nesta flicked her hand towards the writing desk, an imperiousness gesture of a queen directing a servant. "Top drawer on the left," she said. An order, not a request.

She was testing him, I realized. Or had thrown down a gauntlet. Maybe both. Whatever was happening between Nesta and Rhys was some sort of courtier bullshit I was too feral to understand. Rhys did as she said, and I wasn't sure if that meant he'd lost or conceded something.

Regardless, there was no reason for Rhys to linger—and I suspected my sister would bite his head off if he tried. He said something blandly polite to Nesta about it being a pleasure to finally meet her, kissed my cheek again, and winnowed away.

When he was gone, I looked at Nesta expectantly and braced myself for whatever cutting remark was coming. She was already grimacing as if he'd tracked mud all over the floor.

My chest squeezed. Not that I needed anyone's approval, but as mates, Rhys's and my coupling had been had been quite literally blessed by the Mother herself. And I'd spent years shrugging off Nesta's scornful comments about damn near every choice I made.

I shouldn't have cared what she thought. But…for whatever reason, in this matter, I did.

"You two are so besotted with each other, it's disgusting," Nesta spat. It was congratulations enough.

I smiled. "You aren't the first person to say that about us."

There wasn't much else to discuss after that. Nesta and I sat in silence together as we burned the chunk of wood from the table in the fireplace in her bedroom. I felt something settle between us as the last piece of the cabin that she'd been holding onto was reduced to ash.

I returned to my room and managed a few hours of sleep before slipping out of the manor before dawn without saying goodbye. Before bed, Elain had said to bring the paints that she'd bought for me back to Aunt Ripleigh's, so I took them with and left her the first thank you note I'd ever managed to write by myself.

It was easier to go without facing either of my sisters again.

When I met Rhys in the woods, I threw myself at him so forcefully that he stumbled back a few steps and nearly hit a tree. "I missed you too," he said, hooking an arm under my knees as he scooped me up to fly.

Something about being in the mortal lands again—or if I was truly honest, being around my family again—had reawakened that stupid, childish part of me that wanted to cry out until I was fussed over. A bit embarrassed, I pressed my face to his chest and wished I could scent him like a faerie. But instead, all I could smell was the laundry soap we both used. Maybe that was better than nothing.

"It was a long night," I said, and he pressed a kiss to my temple.

The world faded to smoke and shadow, and then I felt that peculiar sense of being torn in two for the space of a heartbeat as we passed through the Wall. Rhys could have winnowed us again, but he continued flying above the sea for a while, probably to get the practice in to strengthen his wings.

Being cradled, his warmth and nearness, the rhythm of wingbeats, the salt air…it soothed me. Dawn was breaking, turning the sky and the sea golden. Rhys, painfully beautiful as always, was positively glowing in the light; his skin was returning to a healthy brown, the unnatural paleness from years underground almost gone. I wanted to paint it.

"With Nesta, why were you so…" I said, then trailed off, unsure of the right word. Rhys's whole demeanor had been subdued, but there had been more to it than just that. Now that I thought about it… "You didn't smirk once. That's not like you."

His face was solemn. "If my sister had inadvertently accepted a mating bond, I'd expect her mate to have his tail between his legs when she brought him home to meet me."

Once, I would have scoffed at the idea Nesta cared at all about how a man or male treated me. But she'd tried to save me. If Rhys had seemed at all like a threat, then…Nesta would have faced down the Lord of Nightmares to get me back.

I still didn't quite know what to make of that.

"Would you have tried to get my father's blessing if he'd been there?"

"Cauldron, no. You're your own person and make your own choices." He sounded affronted I'd even suggest it.

"Then why be so restrained around Nesta?"

"I don't like being thought of as an ill-mannered brute."

I could imagine how often insults like that had been flung at him for being Illyrian, probably from people just as adept as sneering down their noses as Nesta was. And yet, even though I knew Rhys well, it was still a bit strange to hear from a faerie when so many of his kind considered humans to be half-wild beasts below their notice.

Strange, but…not unwelcome.

"For what it's worth, you're not all ill-mannered brute at all," I said, smiling, "but you are a prick, though."

Rhys's wicked grin was the only warning before he gripped me tighter and tilted us into a barrel roll so swift and dizzying that I would have emptied the contents of my stomach if I'd eaten. I screamed, but the wind tore the words away.

He laughed, and it was impossible to snap an irritated response when the joy was so plain on his face. We settled into a smooth glide.

"We need to winnow the rest of the way back soon," he said once the roaring wind died down. "Cassian wants to spar, and if you're late for training, Az will ensure you pay for it."

I wouldn't expect anything less. We faded into the morning mist, and when the Night Court materialized around us, I'd never been happier to be home again.

[monsterlikerr]

i have things to be doing but i'm thinking about my sexuality instead. i'm putting this under a readmore because i feel insane i just need to get it out somewhere

okay so i'm definitely some kind of aro/ace but i genuinely don't know what at this point. i was in a relationship for 3 years and i mean i enjoyed it! we broke up for unrelated reasons. i would say i was attracted to him romantically at least but my memory of my life is fuzzy because i have issues but like. i was romantically attracted to him. sexually is different because most of our relationship was when we were minors and i didn't really think about it because i felt weird + anytime i did it was mostly a "this is how i feel like i should feel" thing. i'm looking at stuff and aegosexual is probably what i connect to most but the thing is i don't... knoooow. and i know i don't have to figure all of that out right now or even ever but my brain will just not let it go. but it really does fit for the most part. i don't imagine myself having sex when i think about it, it's always someone(s) else.

i also genuinely don't know what people find hot or attractive on a person because it just doesn't... work in my mind? like i can look at someone and appreciate they look nice but i don't know if it's a "shame of feeling overbearing and admitting that someone is hot" or "i literally just don't know what makes someone hot because i don't feel it". could i imagine myself having sex? yeah in theory. i think i would give it a try. could i imagine a specific person/people or what we'd even be doing? no not really other than general "sex!". it's not a self-image thing either, because i've thought about it and if it weren't for obvious privacy concerns, i wouldn't care about posting nude/partially nude images of myself/sending them to friends (who'd be comfortable/want that)

like i joke sometimes that i don't really like boobs/ass/etc outside of general aesthetic appreciation. i just don't get the appeal from a sexual standpoint at least not in My Eyes/reality a lot of the art i reblog isn't even "i'm sexually attracted to this" it's a lot of "i like this character and this art is fun/pretty/nice" tbh. which isn't to say "i don't like having this blog" i do! very much i do. if i disliked it or was uncomfortable then i wouldn't be here. but i feel like sometimes it's weird because like... i don'tttt feeelll sexually attracted to a lot of these characters. or any of them. if i'm imagining sexual stuff about them it's not "i want to do X to them" it's "i want to imagine someone else doing X to them". sometimes i'm literally just reblogging art because i know one of my followers would like it and/or i think the art is good and op should know it.

there's probably also something in here about my brain blurring the lines of "where does it cross the line of having romantic feelings for someone VS platonic VS some secret third thing". like i don't knowwww. heart emojiiiiii. i'm probably not aegoromantic i'm just 'i have a job and school rn so i don't want to think about romance' mode (+ the fact that i really truly do NOT get dating apps/talking to someone with the express intent to date. i never have. i really never have). so when people ask me about dating i'm just likke ^_^ ummmmm. hmmm. idk! (<- the struggler). because i really don't know! i don't have a type. i don't have a specific subset of person i'm attracted to. in terms of fiction i tend to LIKE female characters more but it's not like.. an actual attraction thing as said earlier. like alice tmp i call her my Wife and say i Love Her but i'm not thinking about dating her. i just like her a lot and she makes me happy! alice just as an example but there are plenty of other characters. i think sometimes i talk about things in the way i Think i should but sometimes i'm just saying words i do not mean <3. ok this is word salad soup but i have emails to write and i've been here for like 10 minutes. thank you for reading muwah

[rathockey]

tease tidbit tuesday

this ones kinda long to make up for the COMPLETE LACK OF POSTING LMAO thank you to everyone who is still tagging me in things, i'm hoping to be out of this funk soon and back to showering you all in the praise you so rightly deserve soon :)

tagged by @wildlife4life @disasterbuckdiaz @messyhairdiaz @giddyupbuck @wikiangela @steadfastsaturnsrings (idk why it wont let me actually tag you i hope you see this alkdsjfakl)

FROM THE BUDDIE FIGHTING FIC, ENJOY (tags under the readmore)

Thunder rolled overhead as the 118 lounged in the station loft. Rain beat down silent prayers were sent up to meet it – prayers that they would avoid further calls out into the rain.

These prayers would almost always be ignored, often returned to sender in the form of extra nuisance calls and a few genuinely terrible ones. Rain made anyone stupid, and the people of L.A. seemed particularly susceptible to it.

But at least for now there was some reprieve.

Though not in Eddie’s mind, which was a storm all its own. He glowered down at the book he’d been trying to read for the last hour. He’d turned the page all of once.

“If you glare at that book any harder I’m worried it’ll explode.” Hen’s voice broke what little concentration he’d had as she plopped down next to him on the couch, bowl of popcorn in hand. She held it out to him. “Popcorn?”

He shook his head, but threw the book onto the coffee table, not bothering to mark his place.

“What’s got you all in a huff?” Hen popped a handful of popcorn into her mouth. “You’ve been pissed all week.”

Eddie frowned, leaning his head back. He didn’t have an answer for her. Well, he did. But not one he could give. He might be angry at Buck, but he wasn’t about to betray him. Or their secret. He reached for a reasonable excuse to give Hen, but came up empty. He shrugged his shoulders instead.

Hen narrowed her eyes at him.

“It’s Buck isn’t it.”

Eddie snapped his head up to meet her gaze.

“How the hell do you know that?” Buck and Hen had grown close since Buck had started coming to the station, stuck together like glue. Maybe he’d told her.

“He hasn’t been in at all this week,” Hen answered, “and he hasn’t missed a lunch since he started coming to the station.”

Damn. Eddie leaned his head against the couch again.

“Yeah well. We had a fight. It’s stupid.” It wasn’t stupid. And deep down, where Eddie dared not tread, he knew he wasn’t really angry. Buck was, definitely. But Eddie. He was worried. And scared. But it was easier to just be angry.

tagging @911onabc @alyxmastershipper @rogerzsteven @transboybuckley @diazass @useramor @cowboy-buddie @cowboy-buck @heartshapedvows @honestlydarkprincess @loserdiaz

[skyward-floored]

HERE random Incredibles au snippet because I’m tired of looking at it/messing with it so voila. Probably doesn’t need the readmore but it feels weird not putting one even if this is pretty short.

This is about a week after Sky goes missing.

————————————————————

“Warriors, you need to eat.”

“Not hungry,” his brother muttered, pulling a paper off one of the large stacks in front of him.

Time crossed his arms, but Warriors ignored him, still reading the endless documents piled in front of him. He shuffled them a bit and continued to ignore the firm look Time was giving him, turning another one over.

Time put a hand on top of the paper he was poring over, blocking him from reading the words, and Warriors gave him a glare, eyes hollow and exhausted.

“You need to eat,” Time repeated, and Warriors ignored him yet again, pulling the document out from under his grip.

“I said I’m not hungry,” he replied coolly, and glared when Time grabbed the paper back from his hands. “Time!”

“Link, I am not kidding. When was the last time you ate something?” Time demanded, and Warriors met his glare, not backing down. Blue met blue, Warriors’ slightly lighter colored eyes cold and desperate as they flickered over his face.

Something broke in his gaze, and he looked away.

“I don’t remember,” he said quietly. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m in the middle of something.”

“Yes it does, you can take a break to eat something and get back to it afterwards,” Time said firmly, but Warriors merely looked away.

The older man frowned, and his expression only creased further when Warriors grabbed another pile of documents and began to look through them. Time leaned forward to pull them away, then stopped, crossing his arms instead.

“Sky wouldn’t want you starve yourself on his behalf,” he said quietly.

Warriors stilled.

He didn’t move for several long moments, and Time heard him swallow thickly as he set down a paper. Warriors didn’t meet Time’s eye when he spoke again, and his voice was oddly level, a strange calmness flattening it.

“I’ll eat when I’m finished here.”

“Warriors, you and I both know you won’t be finished with these for hours,” Time said sharply. Warriors didn’t move, and Time sighed. “Come eat something,” he said in a softer voice. “Malon saved you some dinner.”

Warriors swallowed again and pushed back his hair from his face, looking around at the piles of documents and papers on the desk. Maps with crossed out locations, scribbled out names and numbers of people to call.

He looked up at the ceiling for a moment, and closed his eyes before looking back down at the paper in his hands.

“I can’t. I must be close to something,” he whispered, voice desperate. “I’ve been over so many of these already and there’s been nothing. I must be close to figuring this out.”

He looked up at Time, eyes hollow.

“If I can’t figure this out Time I... I have to figure this out,” he said desperately, and Time rested a hand on his arm. “But there’s just nothing. There’s no clues, no motive, the last time we saw him he didn’t clue in to anything, he just...”

Warriors breathed in shakily, and crumpled the paper he held.

“What could have happened to him?” he asked in a small voice.

Time let out a heavy sigh, and sank down in the chair next to Warriors, still keeping his hand on his brother’s arm. Warriors swallowed again and looked down at the papers, hands trembling.

“I just don’t understand,” he said, voice beginning to break. “Sky would never just leave us, it’s against his entire personality. He loves Sun and Aryll, and we’re his family Time, he wouldn’t leave us, he has no reason to, he...”

His voice choked off, and Time leaned over and hugged him, running a hand through his hair as Warriors stiffened, then sank into his embrace.

“Where is he Time?”

“I don’t know,” Time whispered back, mouth dry as he clutched his brother. Warriors let out a shuddering breath, and Time pulled him even closer, ignoring the damp spot on his shirt. “And I wish every single day that I did.”

[dotster001]

The Sorcerer's Fiance Pt 1

Summary: Simeon x gn!reader . Solomon has been acting weird lately, so Simeon comes by to see if he can help.

A/N: I watched the original bishop's wife over Thanksgiving break with my family, and all I could think about was Simeon and Solomon.

CW: verbally abusive Solomon, asshole Solomon

Part Two Part Three

Simeon hadn't seen you or Solomon in two years. Solomon was one of his best friends, so he'd told himself he was fine with you both dating, but he'd not gone to visit either of you in the human world, and had felt his heart break when he'd seen the devilgram post announcing your engagement.

:readmore:

He'd planned to go to the wedding, and stay for a little while at the wedding. Come in, give his regards, and leave.

But the wedding kept getting pushed back. There was never a reason why, but the longer it took, he figured, the easier it would be to let go.

He had no reason for concern until today. Asmo had invited him to a new coffee shop, and seemed nervous.

"Simeon, the real reason I invited you here is because I think Solomon needs your help," Asmo said, not touching his drink.

"Why? Is something wrong?" Simeon asked.

"He…he acts really odd sometimes. And he only ever summons me to make weird requests," he was anxiously drumming his nails. "You're his best friend. Maybe if you offered him some help or something, I don't know, he's always stressed and working on something."

"Okay, okay, I'll ask him," Simeon said, clutching his mug tightly.

                                       ….

Simeon and Luke were in their human clothes on the porch of yours and Solomon's house.  

"Why do I have to wait here?" 

"It's just in case. Asmo seemed nervous, so I'll just take a peak, and let you know when things are okay," Simeon said, mussing up Luke's hair. "The second I need you, I'll call for you."

The little angel assuaged, he moved to knock on the door, but it swung open. He walked into the house, and immediately heard yelling. He followed the sound to what he assumed was Solomon's study, when he heard you.

"I really think you should take a break. You're bursting at the seams, and it's really showing…"

"If you're not going to offer any helpful advice, did you at least get me a pact with Lucifer," Solomon said, voice venomous.

"No."

"God, you're so useless."

Simeon felt like he'd been slapped, but you responded patiently, like you were trying to sooth a toddler throwing a tantrum.

"I know, I'm sorry."

Simeon decided to knock on the door and you both went silent. You opened it and looked palpably excited. You wrapped him in a hug, and he reciprocated without thinking.

"Simeon! It's great to see you!"

"You too, little lamb," he said, reveling in your familiar scent. 

"Simeon," Solomon said after he broke away from you, "it's great to see you, but why are you here?"

"I heard you were busy lately, and thought I'd offer to help with something so you could take a break."

"Sol, that's a great idea! Why don't you go out with Simmy for a while, and when you come back you're brain will be nice and clear to-"

Solomon's eyes flashed a pure black, and he spit out, "If you really want to help, take Y/N out for a couple hours, I need some quiet to think."

You huffed and turned on your heel, "you heard him Simmy, time to take the pet for a walk."

"You're not a pet, Y/N. Pets obey their master's wishes. You're a human. And that's much worse."

Then Solomon slammed the office door behind you, leaving you and Simeon in the hall. You took a deep breath,  then turned to Simeon with a smile. 

"Where do you want to go?"

                                   ….

Luke had been wanting to go ice skating for a while, so Simeon had decided to take you both there. While you helped Luke put on his skates, Simeon paid at the counter.

"You got a cute little family there, young man," the man at the counter said as he handed the receipt to him.

"Yeah," Simeon said with a tight smile, before joining you both. When it was the three of you, it really did feel like a family. And when it was the three of you, it was easy to remember why he loved you in the first place.

After hours of skating, Luke was getting tired, so you offered to call it a night. Simeon wasn't sure how he felt about returning you to Solomon, so he made a compromise.

"What if we go out to dinner? Catch up? There's a restaurant I've been meaning to try."

Setting foot in the restaurant, it looked familiar. Then he saw your eyes go glassy, and you whispered, 

"This is where Sol and I got engaged."

You blinked the glassiness away, and put your shining smile back on. You nudged his shoulder playfully.

"It's a great choice, Simmy, you'll love it!" 

And he did. The three of you chatted, and laughed, and reminisced. Luke ordered every dessert on the menu, and gave his full reviews on each of them.

After you ate, he hired an old fashioned carriage to take you around the city and see the holiday lights. Luke fell asleep on your lap, and you started yawning yourself.

Simeon put a hand on your knee, and you gave him a soft smile.

"Y/N, what's happening with Solomon?"

You nodded like you knew that's what he was going to ask.

"Yeah, so you saw his eyes when he got upset, right? He's…. he's spent the last couple years making pact after pact hoping Lucifer would give in, or that he could "persuade" him to make one through sheer numbers. It was around pact 103 he started acting funny. His eyes started flashing like that at 115."

Simeon sat up in shock. "How many does he have now?"

"127," you sighed heavily. "To be honest, I don't think he'd hold up if Luci did make a pact with him, but he doesn't listen to me anymore."

Simeon stiffened thinking about the way Solomon had treated you that morning.

"If you don't mind me asking," he whispered softly, "why do you stay with him?"

Your sad smile broke his heart all over again.

"I know some of him is still there. At least I think there is. He's sick, Simeon. I don't think I could just abandon him to himself, right now. I'm worried what will happen to him if I do."

"What about you? There's only so much of that a human can take."

"He's not often like that, just on his bad days. You just happened to get here on a bad day."

You settled into uncomfortable silence for a while, and Simeon realized you'd also fallen asleep. He sighed and paid the carriage driver some more to just drive around for a while. When you woke up, you got out of the carriage. Simeon carried Luke and you walked back to your house. 

You seemed lighter than this morning, and he was glad that he could have helped. When you made it to the porch, the door swung open, and you were greeted by Solomon. 

"Hello darling, how was your outing?" He greeted you with a kiss on the cheek. He seemed out of it, and had a strange aura, but the anger from earlier wasn't present.

"It was great! We went ice skating, then went out to eat, then we saw the lights around the city in a carriage!" 

Solomon pursed his lips but simply nodded.

"Oh, and I told Simeon and Luke that they could stay in our guest room for the week, I hope that's alright."

"Yeah, of course," he said stiffly.

"Great!" You took Luke from Simeon. "I'm going to put Luke to bed, then I'm going to sleep myself. Don't stay up too late boys," you said with a giggle, not feeling the tension between the two. 

Once you were out of earshot, Solomon's eyes flashed that horrid black again, and he hissed, "What do you intend to do with my fiance?"

[mail-me-a-snail]

new things the update has added!! this is mostly for my own documentation. under a readmore to hide potential spoilers :]

johnny now hangs out in your apartment and you can talk to him!

(if you romanced kerry as male v) they finally address how johnny feels about v sleeping with kerry, and he's cool with it. he even openly admits kerry has tried to sleep with him many, many, many times before

he also refuses to answer definitively if alt and rogue knew about each other when he was dating both of them

several new side jobs marked on the map for your convenience!!!

the new ripperdoc animation is not as detailed as i thought it would be, you literally just get up from the chair (you can also skip this)

map changes! colors have been shifted for easier reading, it's more blue than black now, and they've finally highlighted the rocket launch field...so maybe you'll get to dick around in it without having to meet hanako?

new title screen

new loading screen (unfortunately) with a "doctor paradox" character

better phone ui, it actually acts and feels like a phone now. includes "(character) is typing..." instead of the previous "..." animation

more detailed phone call animations

(the above point might just be me, bc i called kerry to test smthing out and picked the corpo dialogue when he asked why v does what he does; either i used to have a mod that broke kerrys call before, or it was just a bug, but i noticed kerry had more to say about v being a corpo. he even had appropriate disbelieving animations, including a look of eurodyne brand disgust)

(he means well though)

motorcycles are broken as hell. maybe they changed the keybinds, but jackies arch has no sound and no rim lights

for some reason, vehicle combat also doesn't work with the arch bike? works fine with cars though

(delamain does not react if you pull your gun out)(i tried)

ive also heard motorcycles can make your player character bald

that's it for now!! ill be reblogging this post to add anything else i find :]

[luuxxart]

the colors of your recent shumako piece create such a atmosphere with such an amazing emotional tone !! If you’re up for sharing, would love to hear your shumako head canons? :)

Thank you anon!!! I’ve honestly been saving this ask for a rainy day when I was feelin shumako again so I’m v sorry it took me so long haha

anywayyyy I’ve talked a bit about how I think they got together (and subsequently broke up) in the tags of my first shumako post,,, and since im not super great abt coming up with spur of the moment headcanons,,,,

BAM

which is pretty much all you need to know aha,, (i put the blank bc my sprites obscure some of the text, and here’s the link to the original. also Akira is wearing an OriginalStitch pokemon button up. It’s the magma pattern)

but going off of that uh… yeah I can expand on this meme.

EDIT: Headcanons are in my reblog because this post glitched out bad and the only reason i can deduce that that happened was maybe the readmore function😈☢️

[hayannoran]

DA02:TB WAS AMAZING!! Personally, I enjoyed it WAY more than Last Evo Kizuna, and that's really saying something since I think about DA:LEK a lot. I'll be talking about spoilers and my thoughts down under the readmore line!

Okay, so I'll start off with the one thing I somewhat dislike first before getting to positives and just gushing about details: I didn't really like the fact that the digivices dissolved. That's it, really. This is mostly because I'm a bit worried about how travel between the human world and the digital world would work, now. (Also, maybe this is just my Miyakari brainrot, but I was thinking about how this would make it harder for Hikari to visit Miyako... it's ok, my lore brain comes before any kind of shipping brain, but I'm a little bit sad.) Personally, I'm just headcanoning for fun that they eventually can just. Go into digital screens persona-4-style since I think that would be goofy, but that's probably not going to happen lol.

On Rui: I was really pleasantly surprised at how he's written!! Honestly, I felt his frusturation; honestly, I was a bit peeved at what Hikari said to him when he first told the 02 team about the time he broke his digivice due to what Ukkomon did, because even though I agreed with her on what she was saying, I felt like she was ignoring his point of view and his understandable grief. (People aren't perfect when responding to other people's trauma all the time though, so I don't mind from a story perspective.)

I really liked Ukkomon's weird eldritch tentacle form. The tree branches make me think that it's probably Yggsdrasil that Ukkomon has contact with? Since they didn't specify what Ukkomon's connection is, I really hope they explore it more in the future with more episodes, or maybe even another animated series. (Though, maybe a movie would be better for the sake of a more polished end result? Idk, more digimon content is always welcome to me.)

The one scene of Daiken baiting was kinda funny but a little sad since yknow it's queerbait and we know it won't happen canonically due to the epilogue 😭 and the directors doubled down on the epilogue in interviews so we know its not happening... I remember clearly seeing Daisuke blush, but I think Ken was largely unaffected, which, if that blush is anything other than embarrassment, has some slightly sad one-sided connotations. (I'm a Bi Daisuke truther. Maybe I'm delusional. Who cares it's for fun)

This is just a small detail, but I noticed that Silphymon's voice (in the dub at least) (I watch sub usually but the only viewings near my area for both today and tomorrow were dub viewings) was just Tailmon's voice and had none of Hawkmon's voice, which was kinda interesting? It doesn't matter much, it just stuck out to me. I thought it was kinda funny.

I do wish the 02 cast interacted with each other a bit more, but I'm not nearly as bitter about that as I thought I would be, since Rui was a main character I enjoyed. If there's more digimon media in the future that riffs off of this movie, I *would* like it if the 02 cast got more focus, but Rui is a welcome addition to me. (I hope they all get to meet Wallace again at some point... that would be really fun [said by a person who has Hurricane Touchdown as their favorite movie])

Overall, I thought the movie was really good. It had a few other issues, and as someone who's used to the sub I found that the dub voices weren't *entirely* my favorite (except Rui, Rui's performance was excellent), but they didn't bother me as much as I thought they would, making for an amazing experience imo. Review sites I've looked at put it at a B, but for my personal opinion, it's one of the best pieces of digimon media in a LONG time. I'd recommend that you watch it yourself to form your own opinions though (if you haven't watched it and are still reading this for some reason hah) since that's what really matters.

[abysskeeper]

Betrayal, ghost, and wound for the OC angst asks! For whoever strikes your fancy. =D

Well, my other ask specifically targets Trick, so I'm going to take this opportunity to ramble about my Elturel twins, wizard Nox'ani and paladin Lux'ol (they come as a package deal since I'm writing their campaigns together). Thank you!

And since I'm speaking for two and no longer know what brevity is, and also have an awareness for other people's dashes, a readmore for everything that follows:

betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?

Lux is an Oath of Devotion paladin (Lathander) and former Hellrider, so betrayal is the ultimate sin for her. She does not and will not betray people, however she is incredibly susceptible to being betrayed. No one close to her has ever betrayed her as far as she knows, but the events that took place in her home city left their scars. When the High Rider revealed himself as a vampire lord some 50 years before the game started and took over the city, Lux was left reeling. When the entire city was betrayed to Zariel and sent to Avernus, something inside her broke knowing that the leadership she had devoted her entire life to in order to protect people had essentially fucked her and everyone else over twice.

Nox, on the other hand, has no oath to uphold, but devotion kind of runs in the family. However, she has betrayed someone once. During the vampire takeover of Elturel, she and Lux's new wife, a fellow Hellrider named Asta, made a deal that if either one of them turned, they would kill the other. Neither wanted to live like that and both knew Lux would never be able to kill either one of them. Given Nox is my primary Tav and Asta isn't in the picture...you can guess how that went. Lux doesn't know, and if Nox has her way, she never will. It isn't guilt exactly, and Nox doesn't regret it, but there is shame...and she's never seen a reason to inflict an additional blow to her sister in an already painful situation.

As for being betrayed, Nox doesn't really get that feeling, except for in the most literal sense. Otherwise, people want power, people lie, and people have secrets. She understands and expects it. Instead, she lodges her complaints at divinity, claiming the gods betrayed mortals as a whole in not doing all they can to protect life. Nox also has a weird situation with Mystra that she won't call betrayal per se, but she's been left hurt and confused as to why Mystra cast her gaze away from her once the goddess was revived. Nox still doesn't have an answer, and it burns her more than she'll ever admit to.

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

Elturel, for both of them, in both instances. In addition to being on the front lines and seeing the civilian carnage they were trying to prevent, they lost most of their family. Both their mother, an archmage, and their father, another Hellrider, died during the vampire takeover, as well as Asta. In Avernus, they were dealt an additional blow when Nox's best friend, and general family friend, Kal was murdered after a ploy to get him and Nox to sign contracts turned sour.

The two both made peace with their parents' deaths in the 50 or so years between the vampire takeover and the start of the game. Their elven parents died well before their time, but they did so protecting what they loved and believed in, and both twins came to the conclusion the best they could do was live on in their legacies; which included them trying to help the Elturian refugees (the tieflings) settle in Baldur's Gate and is the reason they were in city at the start of the game.

Lux additionally, eventually, started making peace over Asta's presumed death with the help of time and support from her fellow Riders. Neither of them have had enough time to really parse what happened in Avernus, and Nox is still reeling at losing her best friend. Her only solace is that he was older (70, probably pushing 80, and human) so she had been preparing for the inevitable at some point, but she hasn't been able to get any real closure. She was intending on traveling to Waterdeep to visit his family and inform them after she and Lux were done in Baldur's Gate...but then a Nautiloid appeared, so that has to wait.

And then, a few weeks after the Nautiloid appeared, some familiar faces popped up (because I am nothing, if not cruel). Lux knows better than to believe the dream visitor, but she looks exactly like Asta and it threw Lux completely. She knows better than to be led to believe her wife is alive (Asta is dead, Nox confirmed she saw the body when the spawns attacked), but it doesn't stop her from hoping.

Meanwhile, Nox is so beyond pissed, enraged doesn't even begin cut it. How dare anything use Kalden's face to try to garner pity or trust from her. She knows it isn't him and she will not listen to this thing trying to impersonate him ever. Any plan of fostering trust on the Guardian's behalf is immediately shot.

So, all in all, neither are doing nearly as well with their ghosts as they'd like to believe.

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

Lux, being a sword and shield fighter, is very used to the typical injuries of combat. Between her healing capabilities and her sister's healing capabilities, she barely bats an eye at anything but the most egregious gaping wounds and broken bones. Those still do happen from time to time, and when they do, Lux generally just grits her teeth and waits for the sensation of healing magic to wash over her. Half the time, Nox is chanting an incantation before she can even think to use lay hands on herself.

So that being said, Lux's worst wound is actually spiritual. After seeing betrayal after betrayal in Elturel and watching them devolve into nothing but death and ruin for thousands of innocent lives, her resolve in her oath started slipping. After Avernus, Lux could feel her hold on her oath starting to break, and that terrified her more than anything. She spends all of Act 1 trying to revitalize her oath (and her belief in it) any way she can; hence the party spends a lot of time assisting the tieflings and any poor soul they come across. It's a whole game endeavor, but the creche/monastery really help soothe her a lot.

Nox, despite being a wizard, is also very used to the typical injuries of combat. She specializes in Abjuration, so she's a shield mage, and her primary form of fighting is by slinging spells and then herself. By which I mean, some people are smart enough to dodge spells, but most people don't expect to be body slammed by the wizard herself after. It's proven to be an effective, if not dangerous, strategy (that nearly gives Gale a coronary every damn time). As such, she's also kinda numb to everything but the worst of the worst, and has a tendency to make ill-timed or otherwise inappropriate jokes about her injuries. It's a coping mechanism and her way to reassure everyone (and herself) that it'll be fine in the end.

However, her worst injury (if it counts) came during the "ploy turned sour" incident in Avernus, when she wound up taking a fire bolt directly to the chest. Nox actually died, but she doesn't remember that and believes she just fell unconscious. Lux got to her soon enough to revive her, and could never bring herself to correct her sister's assumption about only falling unconscious. This is later superseded when she dies in the fight against Myrkul. Nox remembers that one, and boy that one hurt.

Most of Nox's wounds are emotional though. She doesn't have a particularly short fuse and she's not overly sensitive, but she does have the tendency to bottle things up when something bothers her, only for it to come spilling out a few days later. She's not the best at processing her emotions either, and will more often than not lash out in anger or hurt over something that's been stewing beneath the surface. Luckily, once she does that, she's quick to apologize and defuse and then work towards an actual solution.

Nox's actual worst wound is something she'll never admit to, but being ignored by Mystra for reasons unknown cuts her deep. It is half the reason for her anger towards the gods as a whole; all she wants is an answer.

And finally...if you made it all this way, I wish I could offer some sort of prize, because I know that's a lot of rambling. But I love these two girls a lot and having the chance to finally write them in full has been an absolute blast.

[cornbread-but-minecraft]

Cornbread's Texture Fixer Devlog v0.5.0 - Beta 2 May 12th, 2024

woopsies. it's been over half a year since i last touched this pack! didn't mean for that to happen. anyway, let's go over some of the changes i made in the last few weeks, mostly in the order i made them.

first things first, i fixed the UV mapping of the regular torch. i already did soul and redstone torches in beta 1, but neglected to do regular torches since they were mostly fine. sometime after that, regular torches decided to not be mostly fine, so i had to fix them.

you might notice i'm not including an image for this, because torches have decided to be mostly fine again. the fix i implemented is still more accurate, and i don't doubt the issue won't try to crop up again, so i'm keeping my fix regardless.

to clarify, bedrock edition doesn't currently allow for custom geometry on vanilla blocks. the way i've been fixing the UV mapping is simply by upscaling the texture. why this works or why this issue even happens to begin with, i can't tell you for certain, but if i had to guess, it probably has something to do with the way the game calculates the size of a texel, since the resolution of block textures can vary. a similar issue occurs on legacy console edition.

actually, you know what, i lied. i will include an image. wall torches are noticeably less accurate than floor torches, so hopefully, this shouldn't just look like the same thing twice.

vanilla on left, resource pack on right.

i lightened the outline for the icon on the new inbox button on the title screen to be consistent with the buttons around it.

now you might be looking at those images and/or listening to the alt text and being all "wait aren't those outlines the same color already? why'd you change them?" i changed them because the bottle icon for the achievements button also needs to be consistent with the icon for the feedback button. here they are on the pause screen.

i chose to lighten the outlines of the achievements and inbox icons instead of darkening the outline of the feedback icon for two reasons:

i already had the lightened achievements icon for previous versions of the pack.

it keeps the overall level of contrast of these screens consistent. the text on these screens is a pretty light gray all things considered and to just have the icons be so much darker would've really messed with things.

i am aware that this kinda makes the darker parts of the inbox icon not really contrast very well against the outline, even being darker than it in some spots. i'm not entirely sure how i want to go about dealing with this, but it's not a super huge deal in-game.

also, i made sure the achievements icon is scaled correctly. i did this via json and not texture, even though i'm already messing with the texture, for compatibility reasons since i know a lot of people, myself included, like to keep their textures' resolutions at a multiple of the vanilla ones. this does mean that the icon is no longer aligned to the pixel grid, but that's not noticeable or a very unique problem in this game anyway.

i fixed the top- and bottom-left corners of the background for the description of a marketplace item, since i missed that when doing the other 'dialogue' backgrounds.

also the background of the readmore button, also for a marketplace item.

mojang recently broke the toolbar on the stonecutter screen. guess someone told them the help button didn't do anything and instead of fixing it they just removed it without thinking about how that would affect things. here's how i've changed it while using a mouse or touch controls:

and here's how i've changed it while using a controller:

i removed the entity folder from the pack, since mojang removed the feature that made it necessary to begin with. i added some notes to an earlier part of the changelog that weren't there before to fix some implied misinformation that i didn't realize at the time was false.

the craftable toggle (the search bar if in creative mode) is no longer a pixel too far to the right. this is actually a side effect of something i did last year, but mojang broke vanilla more since then, so i'm putting it on the changelog separately.

tweaked the nineslice information on UI texture "background_with_border" to be less buggy. i'm pretty sure this texture goes unused in this pack, but i could always be wrong.

reverted the top half of the trade screen to how it is in vanilla. that is, the items in the trade slots are no longer pixel-size-consistent with other items like in previous versions of the pack and the help button is again on the main panel instead of the toolbar. decided the design of this screen was just too much for this pack and that i'd rather mess with it in conglomeration, which i'm thinking of changing the name of to "synthesis".

not quite sure how to show these off so... quickfire round, go!

the X and Y Gamepad Helpers on the trade screen now disappear and reappear properly depending on the part of the screen being hovered over, like they do in vanilla. them not doing this was an oversight on my part as i play with Hide Controller Hints enabled.

rewrote the json responsible for messing with the texture for the scrolling panel on the trade screen. this was done to accommodate the removal of the json it was parented off.

removed the texture for the glyph for the creator tab in the settings screen since vanilla fixed its issue.

removed a misplaced pixel on the critical hit particle.

fixed a miscolored pixel on the firework trail particle.

maps are no longer pixel-size-consistent since i've decided redrawing textures to that extent doesn't fit the spirit of the pack.

the players list in the pause screen is no longer cut off by a pixel when the player permissions buttons aren't visible.

updated the metal bits on the sides of the piston head with the ones from the 1.10 texture update. the rest of the texture intentionally remains programmer art. not quite sure if i want to keep this one.

quickfire round... 2!!

large cocoa pods no longer have visible seams.

chiseled nether bricks now line up with regular nether bricks correctly. (this wasn't an issue in vanilla but rather with the pack.)

removed the json that made the hotbar render at full opacity since vanilla fixed its issue.

the opacity of the hotbar start and end caps is no longer a global variable. as such, the variable has been removed.

removed global variable "$cb_is_not_conglomeration".

the experience bar now uses custom textures at directory "textures/cb_custom_ui/hud/" instead of "textures/gui/icons.png", due to limitations with the game's texture sheet system. it should no longer break when using certain higher-resolution texture packs.

replaced all bed item textures with the ones from legacy console edition, since they're (mostly) closer in color to beds placed in the world. for technical reasons, these were taken from the wiki. i might revert some of these to their bedrock textures, but i don't know yet.

(had to start merging images here for image limit reasons.)

the icon for the general tab in the settings screen is now the correct size and no longer shrunken weirdly.

the icon on the "how to play" tab in the settings screen is now black when the tab isn't hovered over.

and it is also now white when it is hovered over.

the outlines on the heads on the friends tab on the select world screen are now at a level of contrast that is consistent with the icons of the tabs around them.

vanilla on top, resource pack on bottom.

tweaked the nineslice information for the banner / "label box" for the "acheivements cannot be earned in this world" message to be less buggy.

the chevrons on the buttons in the dressing room now properly turn white when the buttons are hovered over or pressed.

the chevrons on the buttons for cycling between items in the marketplace are now the correct color.

last quickfire round for today:

the java edition texture variants for stone, bedrock, deepslate, and related blocks have been moved over to conglomeration (a different resource pack). as such, the textures for these have been removed.

removed an unused dirt path texture that i missed before.

observers now look the same while carried as they do placed in the world since i couldn't manage to fix them.

concrete powder no longer randomly rotates its texture depending on its placement in the world. it has been reverted to how it is in vanilla.

the different sides of netherrack and the netherrack part of nylium are no longer all at the same orientation on the same block. netherrack has been made more similar (though not identical) to vanilla in this way.

lit deepslate redstone ore now has the same top and bottom texture as unlit deepslate redstone ore. (this was an oversight in the pack.)

removed some unused json from the manifest file.

changed pack UUIDs. (this was mostly for testing and not really very important.)

and that should be it, both for this post and for beta 2 as a whole. we're coming dangerously close up to the full release of this pack, so if there are any visual issues you've noticed and i haven't, please let me know about them, otherwise, i may not ever notice.

i've added a to-do list to the files of the pack to keep track of what i have yet to do. it currently looks like this:

i'm definitely forgetting a few things on here, though. we're getting to the point where i can't just look at the game and remember everything i still need to fix because there are so few notable issues left.

also, i changed the pack icon to be consistent with the new Music Fixer icon.

[danggirlronpa]

ALRIGHT. Let's talk about rarepair ship bracket art.

So assuming Tumblr fixes my messaging system within the next few days (and my search function. And my blog showing up in notes. And my blog showing up in Tumblr search. And I think my posts showing up in tags. A lot of things broke very quickly for some reason), I've sent out messages and checked permissions for at least one piece of fanart for every rarepair ship I could possibly find! And every single piece is really, really good.

With the posts from this blog/queue plus submissions, there were a total of 261 ships that met the criteria. I cut down five of them for a nice, divisible-by-four 256 so that I could do this bracket in sections, and bring them all together for the semifinals.

Some of the art I've asked for will inevitably be declined to use and I'll have to scour for them again. But at the last edit of this post, I now have 17 more ships that need art to represent them. (This number will be edited as updates come! It was originally 45.)

Which is still so many. I certainly can't draw 45 pieces. And I certainly don't have the money to commission 45 pieces all at once. And eventually, I'll just fill in the remaining ships with sprite edit, but I'd like to get fanart for as many of them as possible, if only to spotlight the artists.

So I am posting this to the world! Underneath the cut is the list of ships that still need art. If you would be willing to draw any of these for this bracket - or if you know any existing fanart whose creators I could contact for permission to use - please just drop a message or ask to my main, @pechebeche! (Since I currently don't have messages on this sideblog, and I don't know if asks will work, either. If someone is willing to send an ask to this one to test it, that'd be great too!)

I may also turn on tips for this blog? Archiving content is a stress reliever for me, so I haven't felt comfortable getting any money for it, but 1) I would love to be able to pay fair prices for pieces for victors and/or some of the ships for this bracket!, and 2) this bracket in particular has been a lot of work! I've taken it upon myself, and money will obviously will never be required for this, but I might just open up the option.

TL;DR: There's a list of ships under this readmore that I need fanart for! If you'd be willing to create it, please let me know so I can mark it off my list! (:

Ships that I need fanart for:

Celestia/Jack

Peko/Tsumugi

Tsumugi/Mahiru

Celestia/Himiko

Celestia/Miu

Celestia/Tsumugi

Chihiro/Miu

Himiko/Korekiyo’s Sister

Sayaka/Peko

Ryoko/Kaede

Ryoko/Kanon

Ryoko/Miu

Sakura/Himiko

Sakura/Maki

Jack/Sayaka

Sonia/Miaya

Kirumi/Sayaka

[axewchao]

Thanks for the birthday wishes, frens.

I would've replied to them the moment I got them, but I was on vacation with my folks and the WiFi provided was... shitty, for lack of better word. To the point where all I could do both here and on dA was lurk.

There's another reason as to why I've been quiet here, and that's because I recently had to say goodbye to my dog.

I'll stick the full story under a readmore.

~~~

I've been struggling with finding a way to say this without making it seem like I'm just... dumping it all on y'all. But it's not exactly something you can dance around, and it probably shouldn't be danced around.

And I didn't want to just pretend to be perfectly fine online, either. Even the idea of trying that just feels... wrong.

So... I will just say it.

I'm putting extra gaps here for emphasis that this is not pleasant talk. If you're uncomfortable with talk of lost pets, please scroll away/hit the back button/leave this post now. I'll add some squiggly lines to act as one last warning.

~~~

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I know I haven't mentioned her very much online, but Zira, my beloved poodle and dearest friend for the last 14 years... was put to sleep the day before my birthday.

It broke my heart, but it had to be done; she was old, she had health problems, and the vet said she wouldn't make it by the time I came home.

I wasn't even able to say goodbye to her. Unless a "be good, doggo." counts as I dropped her off for boarding about an hour before I was given the... news.

I was left unresponsive for the rest of the 8th and most of the 9th. It wasn't until my aunt (who previously owned one of Zira's littermates and lost him to similar circumstances a few years prior) took a moment to talk to me that I finally cracked, letting out everything I was bottling up. Had it not been for her reaching out, I probably would still be in a silent state even now, unable to do anything other than lie down and cry because Zira was gone and it felt as though no one else gave a shit beyond obligatory "I'm sorry"s.

I soon learned how wrong I was in that last regard, as I eventually talked about it with my mother who, much like her daughter, isn't one for crying regularly. To actually see her upset to the point of tears over Zira's fate despite almost never interacting with her... it... I'm not sure how to put it, but it was relieving to know that my mom really did care, both about how I felt and about Zira in the end.

Zira was... well, I didn't call her my "fuzzy baby child" for nothing. She meant everything to me, and to think that starting today, I'll be coming home without her there to greet me, to lie at the end of my couch while I sleep, curl up beside me while I draw, or even so much as hear those cute little snores she made while napping... it just hurts. More than I've ever felt in my life.

I can feel myself tearing up as I type, so... I guess I should finish this off. I'm home now, and have already visited the animal hospital to retrieve the collar and bandanna Zira was wearing, which the vet was kind enough to hold onto per my request. Alongside those were a card with Zira's paw print, and a picture of my girl.

I don't know when I'll start posting again, but I'll try not to take too long. And I'll continue to lurk and talk here and there, if only sparingly.

To those who read this to end, I thank you for for your time.

And to those who still have fuzzy (or scaly/feathery) baby children of their own... Cherish them. Give them as great a life as you can, and when the time comes for them to leave... Do what my aunt told me to do; hold onto the memories of them while they were alive. It still hurts, especially since I lost Zira so recently...

But my aunt's not wrong. Because after I cry over seeing Zira's stuff, I find myself remembering my fuzzy baby child fondly, and smile when I thought I no longer could.

[maxknightley]

thanks for your thoughts on Paradise Killer, super unique game in ways I wasn't expecting - I gotta ask which specific twist was shitty in your opinion though, there are a couple I can think of arguments for (feel free to respond privately if you want to avoid spoilers)

PARADISE KILLER SPOILERS BELOW THE READMORE

"Dainonigate's existence," basically. he's a character who is alluded to in exactly two pieces of evidence, one of which ("carmelina went missing for a while back") is pretty ambiguous; he's absurdly easy to miss (I think it's really dumb that you can only find him out by destroying a rock by One Last Kiss for some reason, and not by destroying the wall where the blood mysteriously ends which is explicitly where his escape brought him); and he... could basically be removed from the story entirely without it making a difference?

like, realistically, Dainonigate serves the following roles:

makes carmelina seem really fucked up and evil. she already orchestrated a Citizen's possession and framed him for two murders as part of her circuitous plan to maybe claw back some additional power and prominence, so, uh... kind of redundant.

explains how carmelina's conspirators broke the third seal. just seems unnecessary? given that Henry also has council blood in him, and that Witness's conspirators managed to get ahold of council blood through an alternate source, it would have been extremely easy to answer this question in a less "comes completely out of nowhere" way

sort of explains how carmelina's conspirators broke the fourth seal? he straight up does not have to be involved at all here. just apply the godflesh to yuri or akiko instead. or, hell, have yuri break the fourth seal by calling upon the power of the god that is using him as a pawn in exchange for making him pretty and buff and cool.

is the person who killed (most of?) the council. yuri or carmelina could have done this on their own. dainonigate doesn't need to be here for this.

so like... carmelina's conspiracy would have worked fine even if the only people involved were her, yuri, akiko, and (unwittingly) henry + one last kiss. dainonigate is just... also there. and, like I mentioned, you can go the entire game without knowing he exists at all. and that's a really weird wrench to throw into something that is otherwise very much a fair play mystery - something that, if anything, is a little too eager to tell you what happened.

also his face tattoo is stupid and his hair is even stupider

[leafcabbage]

ohmygod i cannot stop thinking about the hunger games au moreso how important sneeg would have been for ranboo especially right after the games …..

oh you have opened the floodgates.... oh you have no idea what youve done. bringing up sneeg and ranboo. oh they are so special and important to me.

this got long so i give unto you a readmore

FIRST OF ALL take this

i dont think ive posted it yet.

anyway. you want found family? youve got it with these two. ranboo connects with sneeg before they really connect with the boys, partly because sneeg is not going to be in a situation where he may be actively trying to kill them. they have this moment like, the night before the games, where sneeg is like "come on there must be Something worth fighting to get back to" and ranboo says "no i literally have nothing" and sneeg says "well you have Me. id like you to survive." and ranboo is like. okay thats fucked up now i cant just kill myself man thats fucked what the hell dude. but it does like... change how theyre thinking! it does give them a reason to try. they have no reason to think they WILL make it out, but they cant... just die. just make sneeg watch them die. because for some reason sneeg Seems to like them. and all they have wanted for so long is for someone to care about them.

genuinely one of the best things that happens in the arena, though, is them teaming up with tommy and tubbo. because then sneeg has WILBUR on his side. and oh BOY does the capitol LOVE wilbur. he's their specialist boy they love himmmmm (he has so many problems)(sneeg and him are friends but also sneeg hates him sometimes). it also puts phil on his side and sneeg likes phil more. phil is like... logical.

ANYWAY!!!! yeah, no, literally like... after the games, ranboo is like. glued to sneegs side. they cant be alone. they dont know what to do with themself. theyre 16 and just had to kill and watch people die and live under the constant certainty that they would be the next to die and they cannot handle it. theyre simultaneously agoraphobic and cant handle being alone in the house if sneeg goes out. it takes months for them to be able to function again, and theres a period of time where sneeg wonders if they're ever going to be able to, or if the games broke something in them (which... it did. but they recover to an extent).

oogh im just rambling but god i care them so much. AND THEN SNEEG AN D RANBOO END UP IN THE 75TH TOGETHER AND IT MAKES ME MORE INSANE AHHHHHHHHHHH

*dies a billion times with the intensity of a billion stars imploding forever*

[noonegetsleftbehind]

i debated saying anything, or talking about this at all. i know it's super personal and a very touchy subject and one that a lot of people shy away from or even hide. it's frowned upon to talk about and, for some, i know it's triggering to see it talked about it, but i kept thinking of one thing....

so, if seeing or discussing this is triggering to you? i understand. i get it. look away and don't click the readmore if discussing heavy mental illness topics and struggles/mentions of self-harm and suicide are something that you cannot handle. that is so valid and you need to keep yourself safe. skip this post and read the next and know i love you.

please understand that i am not looking for pity or for judgment. i am simply being transparent and real. i am advocating for mental health and for others that may be struggling too.

i will not go into much detail on what my bad news was. just know that it means another very crushing blow to my already non-existent self-worth and our financial status. it was such a crushing blow that it pushed me off an edge i had barely been hanging onto from months worth of physical health issues (christ i have had 3 surgeries since december and been in and out of the hospital.) it's been hard. it's been real hard and this was something i had put a ton of fucking work into and fought like hell for for over a year all for... nothing. all to be de-humanized and be forced to question what my worth at all is anymore or why i'm even here or why i should bother to keep going at all.

i won't lie. it got dark. it's still dark. i'm still struggling. it caused me to spiral into a near catatonic dissociation. i spent all day in bed crying before i just sat staring and out of it. all my brain could even think of was how much i wished i was dead. it's still there. i still question why i'm here, but i'm getting to the part where that gets a little bit better.

this is not a new fight to me. it's not. i had a complete, ugly mental breakdown in feb of 2020. jesus, february is a shitty month for me historically. i broke while at work - my job that i thought was going to be the career of my life and at the time i was going to college to further my study in. too much stress and too many years of masking and pushing everything away and ignoring...things i hadn't even realized i was doing.... and it was like someone had built a fucking damn around niagra falls. everything came rushing out all at once. these are things i am still trying to even begin to process. and when you snap, find yourself under a desk screaming and crying and trying to claw at your face at work? you don't come back from that. you don't get to stay at that job. my dreams and plans for the future washed away that night.

i didn't give up then. i went into intensive outpatient after several hours in a ward. i spent nearly 4 months in near daily several hours therapy and this was in the heart of the pandemic. it was at this time that i started attempting to finally transition. in the midst of everything, i was denied hrt for health reasons which only set off my shitty feelings and body image more. i closed myself back off and went non-binary again and convinced myself i didn't fucking deserve to live my life as the right goddamn gender and i needed to just accept and live life as a cis-woman. spoiler alert? that shit doesn't work. it will eat you alive.

i attempted to get jobs again. i had a seasonal job that i lost in jan of 2021. i got another job that i was placed in while working with a state vocational program. that one worked out well. it wasn't a fancy or great job by any means, but it was one i could do and could make money from. my boss was nice and i found parts of it interesting, but can you guess where this is going? my health popped back up. first i broke the scar tissue in my right hand where i had carpal tunnel surgery in 2020. then i got a concussion. then, out of nowhere, i started getting violently ill and was in and out of the ER like 4 times in 2 weeks for the worst pain i have ever felt. basically? my gallbladder went to fucking shit. i had to have it removed. in order to do that? they made me quit my job and come back when i was cleared post op to lift again.

i went back to the job. it didn't last long until a mishap with the pharmacy caused me to be off my meds for 5 days. this caused me to have a black out episode where i have no idea how i got there or why i was doing it but i was in the bathroom cutting myself. again. another trip to the psych er. they corrected the med issue and i got to go home. the takeaway from this? please please please please do NOT fuck around with your meds. don't just stop taking them. it's dangerous as shit. take care of yourselves.

i was fine for about a month until more stresses started to come back at me one after the other. they were piling up and i was breaking more and more. i admit it. i have next to none stress tolerance. i can't deal with change, especially sudden and a lot. i can't deal with blow after blow. i literally cannot process it or cope. it sucks and it sounds like i'm just being dramatic or a baby, but i mentally and physically just... can't. it's debilitating.

i found myself walking back home from a doctor's appointment and my ideations were running rampant. the next thing i knew, i started to make a move to walk into traffic. luckily, my brain pulled me back out of it and i damn near ran the fuck back home to tell my wife i was not okay and i needed to go to the er. this time? landed me in a full week of inpatient stay. that entire ordeal caused even more ptsd than i already have. it was traumatic as fuck and took me MONTHS of working with my therapist weekly on to even begin to process. it sucks, it does, but the mental health system is broken as fuck. a place like that should have been helpful and healing to me in a time like that, but it was anything but. it just kept me alive and i suppose that was part of the point and good enough.

by the time i was released, i had lost my job. they didn't even fire me to my face. just told my wife. the end of that year was... not good. nor was the beginning of 2022. i took the opportunity to go ahead and get my other wrist operated on for carpal tunnel and got both elbows (cubital tunnel) done in january and march of 2022 as well.

it was around this time-ish last year that my body image issues started to tank. my dysphoria was so bad i wouldn't even look in a mirror. i hated myself. everything about myself. the body i saw was not me and and i could not continue long that way. i met who became my closest friend and ally in this time. with his help and support.... i fought to fully transition. I literally do not know where I would be without him and I hope he knows that and how much he means to me. i came out publicly and socially completely and in july i finally got to start T. i am just over 7 months in and in may i have my consult for top. i'm getting there.

you would think this would mean i was finally happy and things should be good, right? while i am on a journey that has been a lifetime in the making and am changing daily and week to week closer to my true self? it's a very slow and long process. especially in a time like now when the rights of trans and lgbtqia+ people are constantly being threatened and challenged. it's scary and it's a struggle daily to be who i am. there are a lot of challenges that come with this and it is not an easy road and anyone who thinks we just up and choose to be this way can eat shit and fuck right off. nobody would choose this kind of pain and struggle.

to top that off... in case all of this wasn't clear? i have a giant list of things diagnosed and wrong with me. cptsd, ptsd, mood disorder, severe treatment resistant depression, anxiety disorder, borderline, gender dysphoria, panic attacks etc. these are things that don't just disappear. it means i still go to weekly therapy. it means i keep having to adjust to and come off meds and start new ones etc. it is a constant trial and error and a constant fight to keep going and be able to be better and just be okay. some days i'm fine and some days i'm not. sometimes i can be fine one moment and not the next. this is the nature of the beast.

so that brings us to now. once again... too many stresses.... too many blows one right after another snapped me. i broke and this time the difference is i knew it. i could feel it happening and see all the signs. the positive light here? in recognizing this, i knew i needed to fight like hell. i needed to get help. i knew i couldn't do this by myself. i can't keep going like this. so, i took the steps necessary yesterday to get in touch with my therapist and the location that handled my inpatient stay to get an assessment. this was so fucking hard to do because you run the risk of them saying you need to go inpatient. i took the risk because i knew i couldn't do this alone. bad things would happen.

so, that brings me to where we're at now. after being discussed with the psych on call, my assessment was recommended i do partial hospitalization. php is basically as intensive and the same thing as inpatient except you get to go home at the end of the day. this is the best possible outcome for me. i am scared shitless and it's a huge change and my social anxiety and ptsd for being back in the facility are through the fucking roof. i start monday. i'll be there monday-saturday 8am-3pm basically for 2-4 weeks. after that time, i will more than likely be moved into intensive outpatient for another 4-8 weeks. but you know what? i'm committed. i want to learn. i want to get better. i want the fucking help. it's not going to cure me, but it can damn well help me. that's all i want. (it's also breaking my heart that i now have to miss my best friend's wedding because i can't get out of the hospitalization. once i'm in, i'm in. it breaks me and i know he understands, but i wanted to be there for him and with him and it was important to me, but this can't be helped and i know that. it still hurts.)

so... that's my story. that's where i am. every day is a struggle, but right now... the struggle is damn near impossible. it is excruciating and it is draining of almost all of my emotional/mental/physical spoons/capacity. it makes daily life hard to even get through the day, it makes talking with people like i normally do extremely hard and it makes having enough brain power to be on here and get to anything substantial a crapshoot. some moments i can do it and have a lot of muse and feel the need to distract and writing has always been my favorite coping tool. but i just can't guarantee. i can't make promises about my activity and i hope that's understood and okay at this point. just know i WANT to be here. just know i am TRYING.

again... let me reiterate that i am not looking for pity in all of this. i'm not. honestly? i hope this HELPS at least one of you. i hope it shows you that sometimes it is okay to not be okay. it sucks, but it doesn't make you broken, even when it sure as fuck feels like you are. i hope it inspires someone to get help. i hope it makes someone remember to take their meds. i hope it lets someone know they are NOT alone. i hope it reminds someone to check in on a friend/love one. i hope it nudges someone to come out and be themselves and fight for who and what they are. why do you think i resonate with chris so much? why i love him so much? he fights. he never fucking gives up. no matter what. he grits his teeth together and he fights for himself and everyone he cares about.

"No one gets left behind. Not on my watch."

be kind to yourselves. know that you can always talk to me if you need to. if i have the spoons i will be here to listen and help if i can. know you are not alone. and most importantly?

remember that everyone behind one of these blogs that you're writing with or following... everyone on the street you see... we're all fighting our own invisible battles. you never know what someone is going through. you never know the struggle they're hiding. be kind to people, especially your fellow RPers. respect each other. lift each other up. befriend and love each other. nourish each other's creativity and hobby. stop fucking being so quick to break each other down.

mental illness is just as valid as physical illness.... you just can't SEE it. it's time to start treating it that way. it's time to stop looking down on people for what you don't understand. be glad you fucking don't if you haven't had to experience this shit then you're lucky. listen. be kind. learn. advocate.

Love, J

[wizzardhat]

you know i had a feeling i would end up having to break my oath to make an in-character choice, and it would have been cute and gay if it came as a consequence of something to do with gale, but all things considered im like, of course it would end up being related to astarion. an oath of the ancients paladin cannot just become besties with an undead vampire without enduring at least one major moral dilemma. gonna add a readmore for spoilers and rambling

i released the 7000 spawn. of course i did. the alternatives were to let them rot in cages for eternity or kill all of them. im curious if letting astarion complete the ritual would have broken the oath as well. It would be painfully ironic if the answer was no. but when it came down to make a choice between protecting the innocent and destroying the undead, my paladin chose to protect the innocent, and that was apparently the wrong answer. But really, it was the only answer that didnt prove them to be a complete hypocrite.

i like this a lot as the logical conclusion of their friendship with astarion, extreme opposites meeting in the middle. specifically im thinking of a line you get from him early on, when he tries to convince you to take control of the cult of the absolute. if you say "that is evil power" he says something along the lines of, "power is just power, its the people who use it who are good or evil." Damn if that isn't almost exactly the same sentiment you get form your conversation with the oathbreaker knight.

i have an imagined backstory for my tav that is related to the character they're based on--which is, ironically, also an oathbreaker paladin. That character broke his oath because he refused to give up on someone he loved past the point when they were dangerous to keep alive, and betrayed another paladin to protect them. But for my Tav, I let the opposite be true--they did give up on that person, because their order had convinced them it was the right thing to do, and as a result they had to watch their loved one die. So my Tav carried a deep sense of regret their whole life for that one mistake, and made a personal conviction to never give up on someone who needed them, or who they loved.

That conviction is what I imagine lead them down the morally dubious paths they had to take to complete the various companion quests, and on some level, i think they knew that eventually the oath they made to their god and the oath they made to themself would split. this backstory tidbit also adds a lot of extra layers to the line you say to gale (if you are romancing him) when you confront the elder brain at the end of act two, to "choose the one who loves you." because thats exactly what they failed to do, and it was a mistake they refuse to make again.

And in a game where gods are generally not to be trusted, my paladin abandoning an oath in favor of their own sense of justice thematically makes a lot more sense then being like, rip to you guys but my god is different lmao (although i guess selune is shown to be unambiguously good but thats only because shes standing next to shar, the bitch of all time.) also when romancing gale theres something kind of extra gay about "lets abandon our gods together." im sure gale would have a LOT to say to a distressed paladin with a freshly broken oath given everything with mystra being just as fresh.

mechanically though, idk if i can keep this change lmao. i rely way too much on misty step to give it up as a spell. Unless i dual class in to something else that gives me misty step. or i can just stay next to gale every fight and rely on him dragging me around with dimension door lmao--i do have at least one item that gives me one free misty step per short rest. also not having speak with animals will shatter my heart lmfao. i guess ill decide tomorrow if i want to reclaim my oath for purely mechanical reasons and just hc the oath staying broken, or actually commit to the practical consequences. I could also just like. try it out for awhile and talk to the knight again if i change my mind. at least i fucking hope thats the case lol.