#reading all your messages and never replying

[agxxb]

Prettier Than a Star (pt2) .𖥔 ݁ ˖

rafe cameron x f!reader

summary: after you and rafe hooked up, he couldn’t stop thinking about you… good thing you couldn’t get him out of your mind either.

warnings: smut. fluff. rafe is a sweetheart & lowkey whipped for reader. possessive!rafe. unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), vaginal fingering. use of pet names (baby, babe, sweetheart). praise. best friend’s brother. one mention of y/n. [3k]

read part one here!

Rafe had spent the past few days thinking about you. He couldn’t get you out of his head, couldn’t stop thinking about the way you looked, the way you felt, the way you sounded. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw your face, every time he touched his skin, he felt your hands.

But it wasn’t just lust. He tried to ignore it, tried to tell himself that it was just a fling, that it was nothing more than physical, but there was something about you that he just couldn’t get out of his head, that he couldn’t shake off.

He had tried to stay away, to put some distance between you, but he couldn’t get you out of his mind. You were like a drug: addictive, intoxicating, all-consuming — and he needed another hit. He tried to distract himself, tried to keep himself busy, but it was no use. You were under his skin, invading his thoughts, making him feel things he didn't even know he could feel. He had never felt this way about anyone before, a need so intense it was like you were a narcotic.

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Sarah asked her brother as she entered the kitchen, heading towards the fridge to grab a cold bottle of water.

Her voice startled Rafe, the boy looking up from his laptop with wide eyes. He relaxed after seeing who it was, scowling and moving his attention back to the bright screen in front of him.

“Nothin’,” he muttered gruffly, but the tension in his body betrayed him, his jaw tight.

He didn't want to talk, didn't want to explain why he was in such a bad mood, because she still didn’t know about what had happened between the both of you. He crossed his arms over his chest, trying to appear indifferent, but he couldn't hide his irritability.

Sarah knew not to push Rafe’s buttons, knowing she could be on the receiving end if he snapped, but she also knew him well enough to know that ‘nothing’ was almost always something. She simply hummed in response, taking a sip of her water and looking at him over the bottle.

Rafe shot his sister a glare, his irritation growing. "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit."

Before Sarah could reply, his phone buzzed. Glancing down at the device, his finger hovered over the new message.

𝙉𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝘽𝙚 𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙚𝙣?

Rafe’s eyes widened once again, though this time it was in surprise. He hadn’t expected to hear from you, let alone receive a message asking to meet up. He clicked on the notification, thumbs tapping away at the screen as he quickly wrote out a reply and sent it.

Shutting his laptop – and not bothering to turn it off – he stood from his place at the kitchen island and put his phone in the front pocket of his jeans.

Rafe's reaction to the text message did not go unnoticed by Sarah, she couldn't help but feel intrigued, tilting her head slightly in curiosity. "Who was that?"

“None of your business,” he said, tone somewhat harsh. However, he knew that was a lie. With you being her best friend, Sarah had every right to know… but he couldn’t tell her.

Your hands shook as you typed out the message. You hadn’t stopped thinking about Rafe since his party: the way he looked, the way he felt, the way he sounded… You knew you shouldn’t be feeling the way you did, but you couldn’t help it — and that only added to the guilt you felt.

Your heart raced as you awaited his response. You couldn't shake the feeling that clawed at hour stomach, couldn't ignore the little voice in your head telling you that what you was doing was wrong. The guilt you felt when you thought about Sarah, his sister, your best friend, only made everything worse. You knew that you were crossing a line that you shouldn’t, that you were betraying her, but you couldn’t help it.

You felt something for him, and you needed to know if it was reciprocated.

A few moments went by without any word from him, and you began to regret sending the message. Just as you went to delete it, your phone dinged — a new message. You picked it up, seeing Rafe’s name on your screen with his response below it.

𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣.

When you read his reply, a flutter of excitement washed over you, and you couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the corners of your mouth. You put your phone down and took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. You knew you should be feeling penitent, but all you could feel was excitement at the prospect of seeing him again.

Ten minutes felt like ten hours as you waited anxiously, tapping your fingers against your thigh out of habit. You didn’t know what to expect, what to say, how to act, but you knew that you needed to see him, needed to talk to him.

About fifteen minutes went by before you heard a knock at your door, your heart leaping into your throat. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves, and stood up slowly. Every step you took towards the door felt like an eternity, your legs feeling weak, your knees like jelly. You reached for the handle, taking a deep breath before opening the door.

You could feel the tension in the air, the electricity between you. For a moment, neither of you said anything, you just stood there, looking at each other. Finally, he spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Hey.” His voice was low and rough, though simultaneously soft and affectionate.

"Hi," you replied, doing your best to keep your voice steady. "Come in."

Rafe gave you a small smile as he stepped through the doorway, his body moving with confident grace. You closed the door behind him, feeling his presence fill the small space, consuming you completely.

He stood there with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders relaxed, expression unreadable. He didn’t say anything, just watched you with an intensity that made your heart race.

You lead him up to your bedroom, not wanting a million and one questions if your parents ended up coming back whilst he was at yours. As soon as you walked through the door, he closed it behind him, almost trapping you in with him. The space suddenly felt small and intimate, filled with the tension that crackled between you.

You walked over to sit on your bed, watching him glance around your bedroom. It was the first time a boy had ever seen your room, and you were somehow comfortable with it, despite knowing your parents would freak out.

Rafe took in every detail of your room: the soft, floral-patterned duvet on the bed, the fluffy pillows, the framed photos of you and your family… He couldn’t explain the feeling in his chest as he looked around, a strange mixture of possessiveness and belonging.

“It’s very you,” he said as he turned around, his gaze finally landing on you, sitting on the bed, your legs crossed in front of you. A small smile found home on his lips as he spoke, and you blushed a little at his words, his observation.

"You think so?" you asked, your voice soft as your eyes met his. You couldn’t help but return the gesture, a gentle smile of your own curving your lips. Rafe nodded, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans to keep himself from reaching out and touching you.

He walked over to you, sitting down on the side of the bed, in front of you. He took a deep breath before he spoke. "Why’d you ask me to come over?"

The question he ask brought back the nervousness you were feeling earlier, and you hesitated for a moment before responding. "I… I needed to talk to you," you said, your voice quiet but steady.

“So talk.”

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. You’d wanted to talk to him, but now that he was here, sitting in front of you, waiting for you to say something, you felt a little unsure of yourself.

“I think…” you began, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. You took another deep breath before your rambling started. “I think I like you. Well, I’m pretty sure I do, but I’m scared because I overthink a lot. I can’t stop thinking about how I’m basically betraying Sarah and if you didn’t feel the same way, I could ruin two friendships that I really cherish all because I-”

Before you could continue, you felt his lips on yours, cutting off your endless string of words.

Rafe had watched as you rambled, his expression softening ever so slightly. He had expected a lot of things when you asked him to come over, but admitting to liking him hadn’t been one of them.

The moment his lips touched yours, all your thoughts vanished, replaced by the intense sensations flooding through you. You couldn’t think, couldn’t speak, all you could do was feel. His palms were against your cheek, his thumbs gently stroking your jaw, whilst your hands found their place on his wrists.

He pulled away just enough to speak, his voice a rough whisper. “You need to stop talking, babe.” The nickname, coupled with his gravelly voice and intense gaze, sent a shiver of pleasure through your body. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the party.”

His eyes were full of affection as he looked at you, a gentle smile on his face that held nothing but adoration. He ran his fingers along your jawline, tracing your features like they were delicate, something to be treasured.

“Really?” you asked, voice but a whisper and laced with surprise and curiosity.

Rafe slowly dragged his thumb over your lower lip, his touch gentle. “You’ve got no idea what you’ve been doing to me,” he said, voice softer than you had ever heard it. “Can’t think straight when I’m around you. Can’t concentrate on anything else but you.”

Your made him feel strangely vulnerable, a feeling he wasn't used to, but at the same time, he found that he didn't mind it that much. He was so used to being used, being treated like a prize to be won or an accessory to be flaunted. But now, with you, he found that he actually wanted more than just a meaningless fling.bHe didn't know how to handle these new feelings, but one thing was sure — he wasn't going to mess it up.

You suddenly leaned down and captured his lips in a deep, passionate kiss. You didn’t verbally agree on what this meant for you both, but you didn’t need to. You deserved so much more than someone like him, but he wanted you, and he didn't want to let you go.

Rafe Cameron wanted to be selfish — an action he was used to.

He moaned against your mouth, one of his hands leaving your face and moving down to your waist, gently squeezing. His body twisted round slightly, his front now facing you as he leaned closer to you and deepening the kiss.

The sound of his moan sent a shiver down your spine, and you felt a sense of pride that you could make him feel something. His hand on your waist was firm, almost possessive as he squeezed, the heat of his body seeping through your clothes.

His tongue ran along your lower lip, silently asking for access, and you parted your lips for him, allowing him to explore your mouth. The kiss grew more urgent, more desperate, and you soon found yourself with your head on your pillow, Rafe hovering above you.

Rafe groaned against your lips as your leg brushed against his hardening cock, the feeling sending a jolt of pleasure through his body. He pulled back slightly, his eyes dark with desire as he looked down at you, his voice low and guttural as he spoke. "You feel that? You feel what you do to me?"

Rafe’s lips trailed down over your jawline, down to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses and small love bites as he went. “You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled, breath hot against her skin. “And I’d tell you every day… if you’ll have me.”

You nodded, filled with emotion at his sweet way of asking. “Every day sounds good to me.” Placing your hands against his cheeks and bringing his face back to yours, you captured his lips in a deep, passionate kiss. You let out a soft moan against Rafe’s lips.

He loved the sounds that escaped your lips and the way you arched into his touch. It fueled his desire for you even more, knowing that he was the one making you feel this way.

He kisses across your cheek before he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his lips trailing kisses down your sensitive flesh, his free hand roaming down your body. You giggled as he did so, bringing your hands up to rest on his back. "That tickles!"

He continued his assault on your neck, his lips leaving a trail of kisses and love bites across your sensitive skin. A low, gravelly chuckle vibrated from his throat as he heard you giggle, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Yeah?" he murmured, his rough, deep voice low in your ear as his lips moved to another sensitive spot, his tongue darting out to tease your skin.

Your giggles turned into a soft moan, your eyes closing as you relished in the pleasure Rafe was giving you. He licked and sucked on you skin, leaving his mark on your neck — letting every one know who you belong to: Rafe Cameron.

Rafe lowered his hand from your waist, his fingers working deftly against the buttons of your shirts before his hand reached in. You moaned as his thumb came into contact with your puffy clit, biting your lip as your head tilted back.

Rafe moved away from your neck, eyes flickering down your lips. “Nuh uh, Sweetheart. Wanna hear you.” You let your lip go, letting it bounce softly back into place. “Good girl.”

Your eyes rolled back when you felt two of his fingers enter you, stretching you out. You were so wet, they slid in easily, not a sting of pain in sight. “Fuck!” you moaned when he curled them, his fingertips rubbing against that spot inside you.

Rafe suddenly reached up and cupped your face in one hand, his thumb stroking gently over your cheek, "Look at me,” he ordered, though his voice held no bitterness. You did as was told, looking up into his blue eyes whilst yours watered in pleasured. “That’s it, baby. Feel good?”

“So good,” you whispered, hand squeezing his bicep.

Rafe’s movements suddenly stopped and you whined in disappointment. “When I ask you a question, I expect to hear the answer.”

“Feels so good, Rafe,” you spoke louder, a moan quickly following as he started fucking you with his fingers. “So fucking good…”

“You belong to me,” Rafe mumbled, seemingly to himself despite also talking to you. He wasn't used to ever being possessive, especially over a person, but the thought of you belonging to anyone else pissed him off. “Say it. Say you belong to me.”

“I belong to you, Rafe,” you cried out, looking up at the man above you and his fingers moved faster. “I’m yours.”

“Damn fucking right you are.”

Rafe suddenly removed his fingers and got off your bed to unbuckle his belt. The clanging caught your attention, and your mouth watered as you watched him pull it from the loops of his jeans — which were next to leave, his shirt following after.

He crawled back over you, claiming your mouth with his as he kissed you deeply. His hand moved to your bottoms, hooking his fingers on the edge and pulling both your shorts and underwear down at the same time. He pressed his forehead to yours. “You want this?”

“So badly,” you begged, nodding against him. Your hands came back up to his back — touching the bare skin this time. “Please, baby.”

"Yeah?” Rafe placed his hands on your stomach, pushing your top up as his hands went higher. He cupped your tits, his thumbs brushing over your hardened nipples. You nodded again, reaching a hand down to stroke his cock, thumb rubbing over the head to collect the pre-cum. His eyes fluttered closed, a moan leaving him. “Fuck.”

He gently slapped your hand away, replacing it with his own and guiding himself to your entrance. Your eyes rolled back when he pushed forward, sinking into your warmth. Your nails dug into his biceps as he pulled back, only to thrust back into you.

“Damn," he groaned. "You feel so good, baby. So damn good.” He rested his forehead on yours again, watching himself disappear into you with every movement of his hips, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he felt you, all of you.

One of his hands moved to your throat, adding just enough pressure — the way you like. “Just like that,” you moaned, your legs wrapped around his waist so he could go deeper, ankles crossed at his lower back.

Rafe wanted to see your face while he was inside you, wanted to see the look on your face as he made you feel nothing but pleasure. He used the hand around your throat to nudge your chin upwards, you getting the hint. You did as he wanted, your bottom lip caught between your teeth, eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. He groaned as he looked at your face, his eyes roaming over your features, taking in every little expression, every little sound that escaped your lips.

His face was buried in the crook of your neck, his hips speeding up, each thrust sending a jolt of pleasure through his body. He suddenly pressed his lips to your neck as he mumbled against your skin, "God, I can't get enough of you."

He could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge, the sensations mounting as he continued to move with you, his force gradually increasing. He nipped at your skin, his teeth sinking in just enough to leave a small mark. He wanted to claim you, to mark you as his, to leave a physical reminder that you belonged to him.

"Need you to fill me up," you moaned, pleading with him. It was a need, not a want. She loved feeling him cum inside her last time, and she didn’t know how she went so long without it. "Please."

His breath caught in his throat as he heard your words, his body reacting immediately. He pinned you down onto the bed, his voice low and guttural, "You want that?"

"Need it," you cried, tears welling in your eyes from the pleasure Rafe was giving you. He could sense you were on the edge, and he knew exactly what you needed, what you craved.

He started moving faster, his hips snapping against the backs of your thighs in a firm, steady rhythm. He was so close to the edge, he just needed to hear you say it one more time...

"You're mine, baby. Say it."

"I'm yours, Rafe," you clung onto him, letting out a loud moan as his thumb found your clit again — the little bundle of nerves swollen and begging for attention. “All yours.”

He felt a primal satisfaction surge through him as he listened to you speak, and his thrusts got faster, less controlled. Your legs started to shake, so close to the edge, and your fingernails dug into the skin of his back, scratching down it once again and leaving bright red marks in their wake.

"You're mine," he grunted against your skin. "All mine. All. Mine."

"Yes, yes, yes!"

A loud moan ripped through your throat as you came undone around him, head thrown back against your pillow and eyes squeezed closed.

Rafe felt you squeeze him, the sensations sending him over the edge. He let out a guttural groan as he came, pushing himself as deep as he could go and burying his face in the crook of your neck as he shuddered. He couldn't speak for a few moments, his body going boneless as he collapsed on top of you, his breath coming out in ragged gasps. He was completely shaken, his body quivering from the force of his orgasm.

He lay like that for a moment, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as he tried to catch his breath. He eventually spoke, his voice low and gravelly, "Damn, baby. That was..."

"Incredible."

The two of you basked in each other’s arms, both trying to catch your breath and sweat dripping down your bodies. You were feeling relaxed, content in Rafe’s arms… until you heard the front door open.

“Y/N, we’re back!”

[lettucing]

look of love, rush of blood | chapter two

words: ~4.1k | pairing: jschlatt x she/her, afab reader

summary: Thanks to a not-so-subtle push from your roommate, Joelle, you find yourself crossing paths with Schlatt once again.

notes: ITS FINALLY HERE!! my apologies for taking 5ever, this chapter was originally going to be WAY longer but i wasn't getting it done as fast as i expected to so i decided to split it up into two parts and post them separately. chapter three is gonna go up super soon!!!! <33 (p.s. my apologies for any typos/mistakes, i proofread this thing so many times they probably started going over my head towards the end)

⭑

You’re pulled from sleep by a knock on your door, muffled but persistent.

Before you have a chance to roll over and pretend you didn’t hear it, Joelle’s voice filters through, cheerful and impossible to ignore. You groan, glancing at the alarm clock reading 10:54 AM, before dragging yourself from the tangle of your sheets, last night's drinks still lingering in your head. “Shit.” You think, mentally kicking yourself for sleeping in so late. You’re still half-dreaming when you finally turn the handle and open the door, squinting against the sunlight streaming in from the hallway.

Joelle stands there beaming, a small box of donuts held up like a prize, her eyes sparkling with energy— a vivid contrast to your groggy state. “Ta-daaa!” she says, flipping open the box. “And there’s iced coffee waiting in the kitchen. Don’t say I never spoil you.” Despite the haze of sleep, you smile, following her to the kitchen. “Donuts and coffee? I love you so much.”

You settle in at your small dining table as she nudges a donut, frosted in your favorite color and covered with sprinkles, toward you. “This one’s yours.” she says, watching as you take a bite. You chuckle, mouth half-full. “What’s with the royal treatment? Are you buttering me up to tell me you’re moving out?” Joelle laughs, a mischievous glint in her eye. “No, but... I did make a little move of sorts last night. You might have a couple missed texts from a certain someone awaiting a response.”

Thoroughly suspicious now, you head back to your room, reaching for your phone to scroll through notifications that piled up during Do Not Disturb mode. Emails, Instagram updates, messages… Among the usual chaos and random alerts, one stack of notifications stands out—three texts from a number you don’t recognize. 

(2h ago) xxx-xxx-xxxx: hey, y/n xxx-xxx-xxxx: it’s schlatt xxx-xxx-xxxx: i got your number from ted from joelle, hope that’s okay

Your stomach flips. 

Oh. Oh my god. 

You walk back into the kitchen to face Joelle, who smiles sheepishly. "Ted mentioned he thought Schlatt might regret not getting your number. I just… gave him a little nudge to make it happen."

You blink, still processing what she just said. Joelle’s expression shifts to looking genuinely apologetic. “I’m sorry if that was too much, but from what I saw and what I heard from Ted, you two were totally hitting it off at the bar last night. It seemed like a missed opportunity if I didn’t.” You’re torn between being mildly annoyed and unexpectedly flattered. “All i did was spill a drink in his lap.” you mutter, still staring at the texts from Schlatt.

Joelle leans forward in her chair. “Well, clearly it was something more than that to him. And now you’ve got a chance to find out what. So… are you going to reply, or are you just going to leave him hanging?”

You glance back at the messages on your phone, the words “hope that’s okay” echoing in your mind. The temptation to text him back was strong, but your heart races at the thought of it.

“Do you really think I should?” you ask, unsure whether to be thrilled or terrified. “Oh absolutely.” Joelle says with an enthusiastic nod. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

You take a deep breath, the phone in your hand suddenly feeling heavier than it should. The last thing you need is to come off as too eager or weird, but at the same time, there’s a part of you that’s excited over the idea of picking up where the night left off with Schlatt.

After composing yourself, you type out a response and save his number.

you: oh hey! yeah, that’s totally okay, no worries :)

You hit send, your heart still racing as you set the phone down. For a moment there’s only silence, the sound of your and Joelle’s breathing along with the distant buzz of the city outside your window providing a strange comfort. You can’t help but recall your interactions with Schlatt from the bar last night– he was charismatic and funny, with just the right amount of playful arrogance that made it clear he was teasing in good fun. Not to mention he was absolutely gorgeous— those broad shoulders, those warm brown eyes…

What was he feeling right now? Is he nervous? Is he as intrigued by you as you are by him? 

Just then, your phone buzzes again, jolting you from your thoughts. Joelle cheers. “Aaah! See, he already texted you back!”

Schlatt: awesome. Schlatt: how are you? Schlatt: hungover?

You smile, shifting in your chair as you glance at Joelle, who beams at you in return. The conversation with Schlatt picks up effortlessly, flowing just like it had the night before.

You: i’m good! hangover’s looming a bit, but it’s not enough to keep me in bed, LOL You: joelle woke me up with donuts You: you?

Schlatt: damn. some house guests i have, i didn’t wake up to donuts. Schlatt: i’m good though, i don’t really get hungover 

You: oh. lucky you, i guess 😒

Schlatt: yeah, guess so 🫅

You: 🙄 You: anyways…

Schlatt: anyways... what? got anything fun planned for today?

You: honestly, not really. might go for a walk, maybe catch up on some work stuff. nothing exciting.

Schlatt: sounds like a solid plan. i’m doin the same, stayin out of trouble for once.

You: yeah, right. I think we both know that’s not true

Schlatt: fair point. i’ll probably end up in brooklyn robbing a bodega at gunpoint for youtube content

You: oh wow. willing to die for your craft, i respect it

Schlatt: you know it

You: well, enjoy your trouble then. i’ll be over here trying to be a responsible adult

Schlatt: responsible adult? sounds boring

You: yeah. definitely boring.

Schlatt: well maybe we gotta find you a new hobby then. you have an office job, that shit’s depressing

You: hey, it’s not thaaaaat bad

The use of "we" in his message sends a strange flutter through your chest. It feels casual, but there’s something about it that makes your heart beat a little faster. 

You set your phone down, glancing over at Joelle, who’s barely holding back her grin. "What?" you ask again, half-laughing. She leans back in her chair, clearly enjoying the moment. "Just enjoying the show. It’s cute, you know, how you’re trying to play it cool." You roll your eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips gives you away. “Don’t give me that look,” she teases. “It’s obvious you’re into him. No need to pretend otherwise.” You take a deep breath, leaning against the table as you glance back at your phone. The message from Schlatt still lingers on the screen, his playful challenge hanging in the air. You're not sure why, but something about this feels different, more than just a random flirtation or passing interest.

"Okay, fine," you say, breaking the silence. "Maybe I am a little into him. But I’m not jumping into anything, alright?" Joelle raises her hands. "I'm not entirely suggesting any jumping. But, just so you know, I think he’s got potential." You sigh, trying not to smile at her overzealous enthusiasm. "You’re terrible, you know that?" She shrugs innocently, shit eating grin plastered on her face. "If by terrible you mean ‘helping you get with the potential man of your dreams’, then yes, I do know that."

Your phone buzzes again, snapping you back to the conversation at hand. You glance down at the screen, and a small grin tugs at your lips.

Schlatt: yeah. “that” bad. Schlatt: i’m taking this as a challenge. I could totally make responsible adulthood a little more interesting

Your heart skips a beat. You glance at Joelle, who’s already reading from the seat next to you, waiting for your reaction. Without thinking, you type a response and hit send before you can second-guess yourself.

You: yeah i bet. let’s see what you’ve got

Joelle lets out a small cheer, clearly thrilled by your response. "Look at you, taking the plunge." she says, a teasing tone in her voice.

You glance at your phone one more time, wondering if you just made a huge mistake—or if, maybe, it would be the start of something amazing.

⭑

The rest of your weekend flew by all too fast. The texts from Schlatt come more often now, slipping seamlessly into the rhythm of your daily life. At first, you felt a little nervous, wondering if you were reading too much into it. But soon, you realized he wasn’t just texting you for the sake of it— he genuinely seemed interested, and you couldn’t help but feel the same. It’s not a constant barrage of texts, but there’s a steady stream; lighthearted banter, jokes about your attempts to be a ‘responsible adult,’ and more than a few playful digs at each other’s habits. The conversations flow easily, like you’ve known each other much longer than just a few days. The pressure to impress fades, replaced by something more natural— talking for the sake of talking, sharing small moments and mundane details. The kind of banter you’d have with a friend, but with a hint of something more beneath the surface. The casualness of it all makes you feel a little lighter, more at ease. There’s no pressure, no rush, just two people chatting about whatever comes to mind. You realize, somewhere between the light teasing and the late-night message exchanges, that you’ve gotten used to his presence in your day— his humor, his attention, the way he manages to make you laugh without even trying. It felt… right.

By Wednesday, the texting had become a part of your routine.

Your work day drags on until, finally, it’s time to clock out. You walk home through crisp autumn air, the fading sunlight casting a warm orange glow over the city, wrapping you in its familiar hum. The city you loved was alive, but in this moment, it felt peaceful— like you were in your own little world. 

You had been home for about an hour when you heard the front door open. You turn to see Joelle, eyes wide with excitement, stepping in from work. "Y/N! Oh my god! I have news!" She kicks the door shut behind her, tosses her purse and jacket onto a dining chair, and plops down on the couch next to you. "Hi, first of all." she says, pulling you into a quick hug. "I hope you had a good day. Second of all, look!” She flips her phone around to show you a text she received from Ted.

TED<33: Hey! A bunch of work friends are here in NYC for a Twitch event and we thought it would be fun to throw a lil get-together for everyone at Schlatt’s place on Friday. We’d love it if you and Y/N came as well :)

You blink, surprised. "Oh wow.” Joelle nods, her excitement palpable. “I know, right?” 

Your heart flutters in your chest thinking about seeing Schlatt again, and you knew Joelle had been dying to spend more time with Ted. How could you refuse? You take a deep breath, trying to mask the sudden rush of excitement that floods your chest. "Sure, why not?" you say, a smile beginning to form on your face. 

Joelle grins, practically bouncing in her seat. "Yes! I knew you’d say yes!" She leans in, volume dropping. "At least I was hoping you would, ‘cuz I may have already started mentally picking out an outfit. No pressure, but I’m ready to turn heads. And by heads, I mean Ted’s head."

You chuckle, shaking your head. "I’ll try to keep up with you."

As Joelle practically skips off to her room to sift through her closet, you find yourself glancing at your phone. All of your messages with Schlatt are still fresh in your mind, and the idea of seeing him again makes your stomach flip in a way you can’t quite explain. It’ll be fine– It’s just a party, right?

You let out a breath, shaking off the nerves as you pick up your phone and type out a message to him. 

You: so You: a party, huh?

You get a reply within minutes.

Schlatt: stupid fuckin ted doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut, i was gonna invite you myself Schlatt: but yeah. I figured it would be nice to invite all my buddies over while they’re all in ny Schlatt: you comin’?

You: oh yeah, i’ll be there You: joelle wouldn’t go without me, and how could i deny her the chance to see ted again?

Schlatt: god dude he never shuts up about her

You: yeah she never shuts up about him either You: it’s cute tho

Schlatt: yeah. “cute” Schlatt: more like makes me wanna rip my skin off

You: jealous?

Schlatt: hardly.

You: uh huh, sure You: just admit it, you’re secretly a softie

Schlatt: no chance in hell

You: if you say so! You: anyway. what’s the predicted vibe for this party

Schlatt: probably just a bunch of youtubers getting drunk and being loud, you know the usual Schlatt: but i’m sure it’ll be fun

You: oh wow, sounds like a blast You: honestly i’m a little nervous to be around so many ppl i don’t know, but at least i’ll have a good excuse to drink, LMAO

Schlatt: that’s the spirit.

You: what time should we be there?

Schlatt: official time 8 but u can show up whenever, ted will probably text you guys 20 times before then asking when you’re coming though, lol

You: he’s funny. You: well, guess i’ll see you friday at 8?

Schlatt: hell yeah.

Setting your phone down, you smile. You’ll be seeing him again, in person, and that thought has you feeling unexpectedly giddy. You wonder what it’ll be like—if the easy banter you have over text will translate to the real thing. On top of that, there’s the thought of being around so many new people you’ve never met, adding a layer of nerves you can’t quite shake. But maybe it’s better not to overthink it. It’s just a party, and it’s just Schlatt.

"Just Schlatt." you think, the words echoing in your mind. If you’re honest, it’s starting to feel like so much more than just Schlatt.

The two days leading up to the party felt like an eternity, anticipation building up in your stomach like a ticking time bomb of nerves. By Friday afternoon, you were practically buzzing in your seat at work, waiting for the time you could finally leave and start getting ready for the party. You’ve already checked your phone more times than you’d like to admit, hoping for another text from Schlatt that might ease the suspense, or at least give you something to laugh about— but you were met with radio silence. You assume he’s busy preparing to host, but that doesn’t stop your nerves from creeping in. To distract yourself, you turn to outfit options, sifting through your closet until you find something that feels just right—casual, but still nice, adaptable to whatever vibe the other guests might bring.

You’re in the bathroom just starting on your makeup when you hear the front door swing open and Joelle’s excited footsteps coming down the hall. “Hey, Jelly!” you call out, peeking through the cracked bathroom door. Joelle appears in the doorway, eyes gleaming with excitement. “Heyyy, love the outfit! You ready for tonight?” You smile, a tinge of nervousness peaking through. “I mean… I guess? Not like I really have a choice, right?” She grins. “Nope!”

⭑

Forty-five minutes later, you and Joelle are stepping out onto the sidewalk, feeling a rush of nerves as you take in the towering building in front of you– Schlatt’s apartment complex. “Damn, this place is faaaan-cy,” Joelle comments. She looks over at you, and you both share a nervous, excited glance. “Well,” she says with a shrug, already making her way toward the entrance. “Only one way to go from here!”

As you step into the elevator, Joelle glances down at her phone, re-reading a message from Ted. “Top floor, Penthouse 2B,” she reads aloud, eyebrows raised. “Seriously, how rich is this guy?” She nudges you playfully. “Guess you’ve hit the jackpot.” You roll your eyes, nudging her with a laugh. “Stop it.” 

The elevator dings, and soon you’re stepping out onto the top floor. The hallway is quiet, softly lit and lined with plush, deep blue carpet. You turn right, leading to a sleek door marked with a plaque that reads:

PENTHOUSE SUITE | 2B

Joelle types out a quick text to Ted as you both approach the door. You take a steadying breath, exchanging a glance with her. “You ready?” She gives you a confident nod. “Hell yeah.”

You raise your hand to knock, but before you can make contact, the door swings open to reveal Ted himself, grinning wide.

"Heyyy, look who finally made it!" Ted booms. Behind him, the room hums with laughter, music, and lively conversation. Ted pulls Joelle in for a quick hug, telling her she looks great, and it’s great to see her again. When he turns to you, his face lights up with a playful smirk. "Well hey, Y/N.” he says, arms already open. You laugh, stepping in for a hug. "Hi, Ted." His enthusiasm is infectious, and thinking back to the bar, you can’t help but realize that this seemed to be typical Ted—friendly, warm, and definitely a hugger. 

He steps back, still grinning, and gestures toward the lively scene behind him. “Come on in! I can take your jackets and bags if you want, we’re just tossing them in the closet down the hall.” Ted takes your things as you step inside and heads toward the hallway, leaving you and Joelle alone. You turn to her, shaking your head with a smile. "He’s such a goofball." Joelle leans in close, grinning. "Oh, I know. I need him. Bad." You roll your eyes. "You’re ridiculous." As you look away from Joelle and begin scanning the room, your eyes land on a familiar face.

Schlatt.

He’s completely absorbed in an intense game of beer pong, set up on a plastic folding table in the center of the living room. Dressed in black jeans and a pale green crewneck, his messy brown curls brushed against his forehead. For a moment, you’re frozen, watching him in the midst of the lively chaos around him. Looking at the lack of cups left on the table, you could tell the game was close. His focus is intense as he lines up to throw the ping-pong ball, eyebrows furrowed. 

God, he was handsome. Intensely focused and entirely in his element, you feel yourself drawn to him, your stomach tightening with a mix of nerves and excitement just from being near him.

The moment is broken when the other person on his team, a guy in a black tank top with short light brown hair and an eyebrow slit, claps him on the back. “Let’s go big guy, sink it!” Schlatt rolls his eyes, throwing his hands up in frustration. “Dude, i was trying to lock in and focus, and you totally fucked me up.” 

You stifle a chuckle as the two of them start bickering, and after a moment, Schlatt takes the shot. The ball sinks into the cup, and he pumps his fist in victory. His teammate raises his hand for a high-five as the two guys on the other side of the table drink from the cup– Schlatt leaves him hanging. Then, his gaze shifts, and for a moment, your eyes lock. Flustered, you raise a hand, giving an awkward wave. A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips, and he gives you a subtle wave in return. 

Before you even realize it, Ted reappears, pulling your focus from Schlatt’s game. “Alright, guess I'm playin’ host while Schlatt is preocuppied, drinks anyone? We’ve got a ridiculous selection in the kitchen. Beer, tequila, whiskey, vodka, seltzers, literally whatever you want. I’ll be your bartender.” Joelle glances at you, then back to Ted. “Lead the way!”

You follow Ted through the crowded room, weaving past groups of people chatting and laughing, and head into the kitchen. He gestured grandly at the lineup of bottles and mixers on the counter. You scan the options, almost overwhelmed by the sheer variety. “What’ll it be?” Ted asks, leaning against the counter with a playful grin. You glance at Joelle, who’s already eyeing the tequila. “Shots?” she suggests, a mischievous glint in her eye. You laugh, nodding. “Why not?” Ted grins, grabbing three shot glasses and pouring generously. “These are gonna be strong. No complaints after.” You raise an eyebrow playfully as he hands it to you. “I think we can handle a little bit of tequila.”

The three of you clink your glasses together, and you down the shot. The liquor burns on the way down, but the warmth that follows is pleasant. You cough, laughing at Joelle’s exaggerated grimace as she shakes her head. “Smooth.” Ted says with a smirk. “You guys wanna do another?”

“Saving any of that for the rest of us?”

Your breath catches in your throat as you turn around to see Schlatt, running a hand through his hair as he enters the kitchen. He nods at the bottle in Ted’s hand. “Didn’t know we were going hard so early, not that i’m one to talk.” He raises the solo cup in his hand and shakes it, signalling that it was empty.

Ted shrugs, pouring another shot and handing it to Schlatt. “You and Lud win beer pong?”

“Of course we fucking won.” Schlatt shoots back, taking the glass from Ted. “Will and Hasan talk a big game, but they’re pretty dogshit.” He glances at you with a slight smile before turning to Joelle. “You’re Joelle, right? We haven’t officially met—I’m Schlatt.” She grins, nodding. “Yeah, nice to finally meet you!” “Hell yeah.” He raises his glass, and the four of you clink glasses. “Cheers.” he says before downing the shot, face immidiately scrunching up in disgust. “God, I always forget how much I fucking hate tequila.”

Ted and Joelle dissolve into their own conversation– something about a meme they had been texting about earlier, leaving you standing next to Schlatt in silence. You steal a glance at him, unsure of what to say, but he beats you to it. “So, you made it.” he says, folding his arms as he looks you up and down, playful confidence in his gaze. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.” “Of course I did,” you reply, matching his smile. “I’m a responsible adult, remember? I follow through with my plans.” 

“Right, responsible,” he says, shaking his head with a smirk. “That definitely explains why you’re here, at a party, which you specifically told me you were using as an excuse to drink since you didn’’t know anyone other than me, Ted, and your roommate.”

You feel a flush creep up your cheeks as he calls you out. "Okay, fair," you laugh, raising your hands in surrender. "But hey, technically, I am being responsible— I showed up with Joelle, I’m not drinking alone, and I know I’ll get home safe. That counts, right?" He leans one arm against the counter, smirk still in place. “Yeah, yeah, if you say so. Sounds like a fancy way to justify a night of poor decisions.” “Poor decisions?” you echo, raising an eyebrow. “We’re just getting started. Who says any of them will be poor?”

“Oh, now you’re making me curious.” His voice drops slightly, his eyes gleaming with amusement. “But really,” he shifts his weight, his eyes darting to the floor, then back up at yours. “It's nice to see you. In person, I mean. Good to know you weren’t just some drunken hallucination and I’ve actually been texting a real person all week.”

You smile, feeling the warmth in your cheeks deepen. “Yeah, it’s nice to see you too.” The two of you hold eye contact, and for a moment, the tension between you lingers, thick and unspoken. Unable to handle it any longer, you break the silence with a light laugh. “But who knows? Maybe I have been a drunken hallucination this whole time. You’re actually just talking to yourself in your kitchen right now.” He lets out a soft laugh, and you continue. “Oh I'm serious, everyone is staring– it’s super weird.”

He rolls his eyes with a grin. “Alright, alright. Now you’re pushin’ it.”

You both chuckle, the moment settling comfortably between you. Then Ted leans in, breaking the pause. “So, what’s next?” he asks, glancing between you, Schlatt, and Joelle. A cheer erupts from down the hall, likely from the latest beer pong game. Schlatt shrugs, nodding toward the noise.

“Wanna play the next round?”

← last chapter

[natelikestowrite2054]

The Infection. Wanda Maximoff. Chapter 1

Wanda's not here. We are all that remains.

Summary: After a mission overseas, you return to the compound and meet up with Peter Parker. But something unknown attacks the base, and you soon learn who's behind the carnage.

Warnings: Infected Wanda, uneasy atmosphere, violence, suspense.

Author's Note: I hope you all enjoy reading this first chapter. There will be more to come.

You huffed as you dried hair after taking a well-deserved hot shower. Today had been grueling and unforgiving. The muscles in your body ached badly from the slightest bit of movement, and your eyes could barely stay open. But this wasn't a first-time experience for you. It was one you had done numerous times with the Avengers. The scars down your back, chest, and arms each held a story worth telling.

It had been over a year now since joining their team. A day that you'd never likely forget about. But unlike a majority of them. You didn't wear a suit of armor, possess secret powers, or have superhuman strength. No, you were a normal person, but not without the means to defend yourself. Your old life had taught you many lessons, and that was what aided you the day it all changed.

You neatly folded the towel and hung it over the heated rack. Sighing, you picked up your phone and opened it to check if Wanda had seen your messages. Two messages you'd sent half an hour ago had still gone unseen. Now you were getting worried. You typed up another message to send to her.

Wanda, I'm starting to really worry about you. You only said a few words to me or anyone when we left Sokovia, and then you suddenly disappeared as soon as we got back. If you need space, I understand, but please communicate with me. I love you so much, and I'm here for you. ❤️

Your mind pondered on the circus of theories as to what could've made Wanda so distant that she'd dissappear from everyone.

Did going back to Sokovia reawaken her painful memories? Should you have said more to comfort her? Was she planning on breaking up with you?

You snapped out of those delusional thoughts and exited the bathroom, switching off the lights and carrying your uniform over your forearm. The smell of fabric triggered deep memories of nostalgia from days long gone. You gently placed the outfit on the bed and searched for clothes for the evening.

Ding!

Your heart skipped a beat hearing the notification. You nearly stumbled forward, trying to get your leg through your sweatpants, hoping that Wanda had finally answered your messages. You scooped up your phone and opened to see it was a text message from Peter Parker.

Hey, I'm swinging in now. Meet you at the entrance?

Oh shit. You mumbled, realizing you had forgotten about your plans to hang out with Peter. You had been so overwhelmed with the stress of Wanda that you'd completely forgotten about tonight. It was something you'd planned out for some time, and you had been looking forward to it.

Peter wasn't a part of the Avengers, and that made it almost impossible for you two to see one another. You first met Peter when Tony Stark recruited him to help with a mission. Peter preferred to work alone and stick to being a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. But the day you two met, there was an instant connection.

You ruffled your hair, trying to ease the sudden anxiety of forgetting the hangout. Reluctantly, you texted Peter back.

Sure, I'll meet you by the entrance.

A few seconds later Peter replied.

See you soon.

You pocketed your phone and fixed your hair after messing it up out of frustration. I suppose tonight wouldn't be so bad. After all, you were in need of a break after the eventful day. You walked out of the room into the hallway toward the elevator. Your fingers pressed the top button, and the doors grumbled open. You stepped inside and waited for the lift to arrive at the bottom.

Once you had arrived, you eagerly squeezed through the still-opening elevator doors. The anxiety and excitement of seeing Peter clashed inside you like swords on a battlefield. Your eyes caught him just walking in through the front entrance. He seemed to be struggling to stuff his mask into his jacket.

"Are you struggling a little bit there, Parker?" You snickered. "No, it just won't. Ah, I got it," Peter said. He turned to look at you only to be greeted with a tight embrace. Peter hugged you back, and you winced. "Oh, are you okay?" Peter gasped. "Yeah, I'm just sore from today. I'll talk about it later. But it's great to see you again, Peter. How have you-" An unwelcomed smell entered your nostrils, and you immediately asked, "Okay, why do you smell like pizza?"

Peter clearly embarrassed and turning red answered sheepishly, "Because I've been delivering pizzas."

"Wait, you're delivering pizzas now?" You asked almost a bit taken aback. "When did this start?" "Oh, I started a few months back," Peter told. A thought came to your mind and it made you snort. "Please tell me you've been swinging around in your costume when delivering them, oh please," you prayed. Peter smiled to hide his embarrassment as he admitted to it. You laughed, imagining how confusing it must look for New Yorkers seeing Spider-Man deliver pizzas. "Oh, my gosh, that's brilliant. I can imagine J. Jonah Jamerson is printing a front page for that one. Speaking of that, what happened to taking pictures of yourself for that knucklehead?" You asked, nudging Peter's side.

"I-I've still been doing that. The pizza delivery job is just some extra work." Peter explained. "How come?" You asked. "Well, it's just I've been a little bit behind on rent." Peter told.

"Do you need money?" You asked. "No, no, please, I can't take any of your money. I'll figure something out." Peter assured.

"Peter, if you need help, we -" Peter immediately dismissed your offer again. "No, it's fine, really. I have it under control." You breathed out through your nose to keep your sigh of frustration hidden. "Okay, but please, if you change your mind. We are all here for you."

"I appreciate it, Y/N, thanks." Peter thanked with a cute smile.

You pressed the button for the elevator doors to open. "Tonight, we're just going to relax and enjoy ourselves," you said. "Are you up for a movie and some board games?" "Sounds great, let's do it." Peter agreed. As you both entered the elevator, you pressed for the top floor.

"Is everyone here tonight?" Peter asked. You scratched an itch on your nose before answering, "Yeah, everyone's here. We recently got back from a mission in Sokovia." "Sokovia?" Peter repeated with a peak of interest dripping from his quirky voice. "Yeah, Wanda informed us of another Hydra base there," you explained. "Did you find out what they were doing there?" Peter inquired. "Not yet. We're still reviewing the data we saved before it was all wiped clean. But from what I could gather is that Hydra was running some kind of experiments."

"Experiments?" "What kind?" Peter asked. "Some kind of human testing. We were concerned about there being new super humans. But again, we won't fully know as half the data was destroyed when we began our assault."

"Mhm, so everything else is okay?" Peter asked. "Yeah, everything's... f-fine." You answered, not trying your best to hide the stress and worry for Wanda that was eating you like a cancer.

"Hey, you okay?" You glanced back up at Peter and stuttered with your explanation. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine just tired."

"Are you sure?" Peter asked again.

"Yeah, I'm sure," you whispered with a half convincing smile.

The mini screen in the corner of the elevator caught your attention. For some bizarre reason, the floor numbers seem to have frozen in time. But that's when you noticed the shift in Peter's expression. His eyes were wide like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Peter?" "Peter what's wrong?" You asked. Those few seconds felt like a lifetime time before Peter answered, "Y/N, something's wrong, something's -"

The elevator suddenly stopped.

You both froze in place, feeling the rumble of the elevator throughout your bodies. The lights from above flickered on and off until darkness followed. "What happened to the power?!" You exclaimed whilst frantically pushing the buttons on the panel. Nothing worked. Peter stepped toward the doors, prying his fingers in-between them. The young hero grunted with effort as he separated the doors. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Peter stepped out first, keeping his arm out in front of you in a protective manner. His eyes scanned the darkened hallway for any sudden movements.

"W-What's going on?" You muttered.

"Y/N, listen to me. There's something very dangerous nearby. Whatever it is, we need t-"

The thundering sound of clanging echoed through the floors above. You looked up toward the ceiling, listening to the deafening noises. But what came next was unlike anything you'd heard before. A loud screeching roar beyond human capability, and it made every hair on your body stand up. You started to hyperventilate, feeling the vibration of it throughout your body. "W-What was..." You choked out through your panicked breaths.

"Come on!" Peter exclaimed as he shoved the staircase door open. You raced after Peter with the adrenaline, igniting and fueling your body like a soldier charging onto the battlefield. As you climbed the stairs, the sound of gunfire and yelling was growing louder with every step. "Come on, Y/N!" Peter yelled from above. "We're almost at the top!" You leaped up the last set of stairs when you heard the screeching of Peter's shoes. You halted thinking Peter had come face to face with what was responsible. But as you looked up, there was nothing but what remained of the stairway door.

You slowly stepped up onto the walkway and inspected the scene of the crime. The door had been torn apart from the center and pulled inward. But what caught your eye made your heart skip a beat. Carved deep into the metal of the door appeared to be the workings of something with sharp claws.

"What could've done this?" You whispered.

Peter unzipped his grey jacket and swiftly took it off, revealing his tightly red and blue fitted costume. You turned away to look back at the door and bravely decided to investigate further. "Y/N, wait." Peter warned. You ignored it and squeezed through the gap in the door. Once you were through, your eyes gazed upon more of the same claw marks on the wall. Following the trail lead, you down the blackened hallway where the doors leading to the living room had been ripped clean off.

"Peter." You quietly called. Peter emerged through the gap and saw the carnage before him. "Oh my God." Peter gasped with wide eyes. "Okay, Y/N, I need you to listen to me. You need to get out of here and call Nick Fury. I'll go and investigate." Shaking your head, you argued, "No, I'm not leaving you here." Peter stepped closer and put both his hands on your biceps with a firm grip. "Y/N, please just listen to me. Whatever did this is dangerous. I sensed it before the power was cut. I can't let you get hurt." Again, you shook your head, ignoring Peter's reason. "I can't let you face this alone, I won't run knowing I could've done something." "Y/N it's too dangerous, and you don't have anything to protect yourself with," Peter pointed out.

"I'm staying." You repeated arrogantly.

Peter stared into your eyes. His expression was mixed between frustration, anger, and worry, knowing he couldn't change your mind. Peter pulled down his mask and repeated, "Okay, but promise me that the moment something happens to me. You save yourself. Promise me."

"I promise Peter." You answered confidently.

Peter nodded, and you both started to move cautiously toward the living room. He kept his arm out in front of in a protective manner. Anxiety made your hands clamy, and your heart thumped loudly in your ears as you entered the room.

Your eyes scanned the darkened area. There was no sign of anybody. Glass was scattered all over the floor, the couches and TV were tipped over, pieces of Tony's equipment broken and discarded like trash. Even one of the large windows had been shattered. It was like a battlefield. You continued following behind Peter with sweat dripping down your face like raindrops. When you felt something underneath your foot. You lifted your shoe off the object only to see it was a gun.

Natasha's gun.

You scooped up the pistol and checked it only to find the weapon had been completely emptied. Whatever Natasha was trying to bring down didn't surcome easily to bullet wounds.

Peter's eyes surveyed the area in front of him when he suddenly felt his spidey sense trigger drowning out his footsteps that came to a hault. You felt Peter's hand grab your shirt in a bone crushing grip. He whispered in a low tone, "Y/N, don't move." You froze like a statue, not daring to move another muscle.

Peter's breathing was shallow. His sharp spidey sense ringed loudly. Peter desperately searched for the threat, but there was nothing but the darkness that swallowed you both like a nightmare. The young hero needed to concentrate on where the threat was and quickly. Peter took a deep breath in and let it out. All went quiet. Peter's spidey sense homed in on the danger, and he moved his two fingers to the center of his web shooter before whispering the bone-chilling word.

"Run."

Peter shoved you out of the way. Emerging from the darkness were a pair of long tendrils that grabbed ahold of Peter's wrists and ankles like an octopus seizing its prey from within its lair.

You landed hard on the ground, crazing your cheek on the broken glass. Turning your head, you saw Peter pinned against the wall by the long, dark tendrils. Suddenly, one of the tendrils perked up and lunged toward you. Just as it was about to snatch your ankle, it was yanked back by one of Peter's webs. "Run, Y/N, RUN!" Peter groaned out.

You quickly stood to your feet and sprinted out of the room toward the stairway door. The sound of Peter's yellling traveled through the walls and followed you like a haunting spirit of mockery. The thought of what that monster was doing to Peter was too much bear, but you couldn't stop. You had to escape whilst Peter held it off.

The last flight of stairs was just below you now. You wasted no time and leaped down them, landing on your two feet. Grunting, you pushed the door open and sprinted toward the exit. You could make out the sight of the far-off street lights through the glass windows above the front door. Freedom was just ahead you could almost taste it.

Suddenly, you stopped hearing a loud rumble from above. The ground shook like an earthqauke was unfolding. Your eyes followed the sourace above when the ceiling collapsed, forcing you to retreat. You helplessly watched as Peter fell through the rubble. He reached out to fire a web to save himself, but it was too late. Peter crashed onto the title surface, cracking it. His body went limp as he laid trapped underneath a pile of rubble.

"Peter!" You cried.

You ran to Peter's side. But stopped upon seeing a dark shadow land in front of you and to your horror you saw it was...

Wanda.

No, it couldn't be. But it was indeed her. The right half of her body was consumed by a black and red substance that stretched all across the right side of her body like torn clothing. But the most disturbing feature was the right side, her mouth littered with rows of sharp fang like teeth.

You turned to flee. But Wanda was too fast. She raised up her right arm, and the black and red goo stretched across her hand like multiple streams transforming into a long tendril. It attacked with incredible speed and wrapped tightly around your throat. You kicked and squirmed as the oxygen supply to your lungs was cut off.

Wanda slowly turned you to face her and pulled you uncomfortably close to her face. Her wide pupils stared deeply into yours like a vengeful demon. "W-Wanda." You choked out in a pleading tone. The cold, slimey tendril tightened like an anaconda. All you heard leaving Wanda's lips was a chuckle that echoed through your ears.

As your world began to turn dark, you continued to thrash desperately, trying to break free, but you slowly felt yourself scumming to the sleep.

"Sweet dreams, little lamb."

[immortalityforthegoddess]

"𝐇𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤?"

Characters: Samuel Seo, Goo Kim, Gun Park

Summary: your an famous influencer and decided to do the 'hey chat can you watch my boyfriend real quick?' With your man.

𝐆𝐮𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤

Gun was busy making dinner when you came in giggling to yourself, gun raised an eyebrow as you made your way to him, "hey chat, can you watch my boyfriend real quick?", and with that you were gone.

Gun froze for a moment, looking at your screen that was live. Alpha609-"is this really {Name}s boyfriend?😶", gun read aloud in his head, "yes, yes am.", gun goes back to choping.

Princessluna312-"boyfriend reveal😮", gun would not really talk much but would answer questions here and there.

Fruityqueen409-"your soo quite, honestly you and {Name} are the meaning of opposites attract lol😊". Gun stopped chopping at that message, he had never really thought of it that way.

"I've been told that many times.",

You come back to gun still making dinner and people saying how fine and hot he was. And he was just trying to make dinner.

"Everyone and there mothers think your fine", " I know."

𝐆𝐨𝐨 𝐊𝐢𝐦

Goo was busy scrolling Instagram and didn't notice you, "hey chat, can you watch my boyfriend real quick?", goo was confused as you ran away giggling, until he saw your phone.

"... She doing the trend with the boyfriend uh?", goo asked the phone and everybody all began sending laughing emojis, and asking him questions.

"Well hope you all know that your not getting any fun facts." Goo said as you put his phone down and grabbed yours, looking at your chat. Buttfairy78-"hey is that a sword?😮", gun laughed at the user name, "yes, yes it is and yes it's real, am not no phoney."

Goo had one of his swords deslpead for all to see and chat saw it and thought it was cool. Yourmama-"thats actually really cool!😶", goo continue on laugheing at the usernames, "I know."

You came back to goo telling some fun stories and fun facts about his swords, you giggling and let it be.

𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐒𝐞𝐨

Sam was busy doing some paper work in his home office when you came in giggling non-stop. He looked at you and raised an eyebrow, "hey chat can you watch my boyfriend, really quick?" And with that you were just gone to put it simply.

Sam was confused for a few moments, not understanding what was going on until he looked at your phone you had sat down. Sumgaydude43-"Your so fine😫" and puppylover-"Damn {Name} be lucky🤭".

Sam just stared, what was he supposed to do? He had work that needed to be done. But he also knows that you are just trying to listen his mood, in your own weird way.

"You guys are weird, I see why you watch my {Name}." Sam said as he continued his work, the chat went WILD, at his nick name for you.

Smellyfarts-"that is the cutest nickname😇", spoiledmilk-"awwwww, am so single😁", "damn, that's a deep voice🤭".

He really did think your chat of 74k+ was weird, and found their user names odd. Fishporn-"how long have you and {Name} been together?", some in the chat asked and Sam jaut so happen to catch it.

"About 4 years.", Sam replied smellsflowers-" y'all ain't married🤯", some in chat said and Sam also read that, "was thinking about it."

You come back to Sammy still doing his work and answering some questions here and there.

[totowlff]

chapter fifty — ya'aburnee

➝ but what's worse? tellin' you my feelings or to die without revealing that you got inside my head and set a fire there instead?

➝ word count: 2k

➝ warnings: death

➝ author’s note: got sick post-interlagos but felt good enough to finally post this. it was in my drafts for almost two years, so, hope you enjoy it. or not, it's up to you.

MAY, 2019

The slow, insistent beeping was the only sound in the room.

Sitting in the armchair beside the bed, her mother stared into the void.

Her steady hand tightly gripping her father’s fingers.

With a calm expression, Niki was deep in sleep.

Watching the scene, a shy smile appeared on Elisabeth’s lips.

“A portrait of devotion,” she thought.

Elisabeth had long lost count of how many times her mother had been by her father’s side in hospitals. Since that dark day at Nurburgring, Marlene had stayed with Niki, accompanying him through every hospitalization, making him laugh when he was awake and watching over him as he slept. The exhaustion was evident on her face, dark circles framing her clear eyes. Yet, it was pointless to ask her to eat something or go to the visitors' lounge to take a shower and rest for a few hours.

Marlene had never left Niki alone.

And she wouldn’t leave him now.

The sound of the door opening made Elisabeth turn her head. Mathias and Lukas entered, both with exhaustion on their faces and cups of coffee in hand. Since the previous night, when Niki’s respiratory function had significantly worsened, her brothers had refused to leave the premises of Zurich University Hospital, even if just to rest or shower.

The reason was obvious.

All three, along with Marlene, knew the time was near.

— Elschen — Mathias whispered, extending one of the paper cups he held to her. Lowering her gaze to look at the creamy foam covering the dark liquid, she sighed.

— Thank you — Elisabeth murmured, taking a sip of coffee, the taste barely registering on her tongue.

— Toto called me earlier — her brother said softly — He sounded worried. Said he tried to reach you, but you didn’t answer your phone.

Elisabeth looked at her purse, abandoned on the floor near the gray sofa she was sitting on.

What had begun as a routine checkup following his transplant had turned into a dramatic hospitalization, bringing the entire family to Zurich. Two days ago, the situation worsened, and her focus had been entirely on her mother, her brothers, and, above all, her father.

So much so that Elisabeth had completely forgotten about the life she left outside the hospital.

Her job. Her friends. The races.

Toto. Andreas.

Grabbing her purse awkwardly with one hand, she unzipped it clumsily, searching for her phone. Pressing a button, the screen lit up, revealing more than two dozen messages from Toto and 17 missed calls from him. He was definitely worried.

— Damn — Elisabeth muttered, tapping on his message notifications. A few seconds later, the app opened, revealing its contents.

“Are you at the airport yet, Liesl?” read the first message.

“I assume you’re in the air by now. Love you, take care,” said another.

“Liesl, text me when you get to Zurich,” read another.

“I called Mathias, and he said you haven’t arrived yet. Please reply when you see this,” he had written.

“Lukas told me you’re at the hospital. Was the trip okay?” Toto wrote.

“Liesl, I’m worried. Call me,” he insisted.

“Mathias told me your father got worse. Please call me,” said the following message.

“Did you eat anything? Take care of yourself,” he said.

“Get some rest too, Liesl. Andreas and I love you,” Toto wrote, attaching a photo of their son sleeping in their bed, specifically on her pillow.

“Liesl, call me,” was all the next message said.

“I spoke to Mathias again. He said you haven’t left the room since you arrived. Please call me,” he wrote, timestamped just over five minutes ago.

— Go outside and talk to him, Elschen. He’s really worried about you — Mathias said, taking the coffee cup from her hand. Giving a slight smile, she stood, looking at her phone, opening her contact list. Walking toward the door, she passed by Lukas, who gave her shoulder a supportive squeeze before she reached for the doorknob.

— Going to talk to Toto?

— Yes.

— Go ahead — was all he said as he headed to the sofa where Elisabeth had been sitting.

She left the room quietly. Closing the door behind her, Elisabeth tapped the contact saved with just two emojis, a wolf and a red heart. After only two rings, she heard Toto’s concerned voice.

— Hello, Liesl?

— Hey, honey — she replied softly.

Elisabeth heard Toto sigh on the other end of the line.

— Thank God you decided to call me back. I was so worried about you. You didn’t reply to any messages or answer any calls. I started to think something might’ve happened to you. I was so worried I even considered dropping everything here and flying to Zurich because…

— And Andreas? — she interrupted.

The line went silent for a few seconds.

— He’d come with me. He’s as worried as I am.

— Toto, he’s not even six months old — Elisabeth smiled for the first time since arriving in Switzerland.

— But he’s worried. Well, right now he’s sleeping, but when he’s awake, he’s very concerned about his mom.

— Is he okay? Not crying too much?

— He’s surprisingly calm. Cried a little after you left, but then he behaved really well.

Elisabeth felt a weight lift from her chest. If there was a pain greater than seeing her father in that state, it was definitely being away from her Andi.

— And you, how are you? Have you eaten? Slept?

— No. I haven’t eaten or slept — she replied.

— You need to be okay to see your father well.

— Toto, I don’t know if he has much time left — Elisabeth stammered, admitting for the first time out loud the possibility of losing her father. Seconds of silence followed on the other end of the line.

— Liesl, Niki is strong — Toto said — He’ll hold on.

— This time is different — she said in a whisper.

— Why?

— Dr. Klepetko said the transplanted lungs were just a palliative measure. The damage is extensive — she paused, a lump forming in her throat. In recent months, the possibility of losing Niki had seemed like a grim prognosis, but now it had never felt so real. And the prospect of losing her father was terrifying.

— How is he now? — Toto murmured on the other end of the line.

— Sleeping. He woke up a few times in the morning, asked about Sunday’s race.

— What did he ask?

— If we knew the tire strategy since the W10 wears them out — Elisabeth said, receiving a laugh in response.

— He just doesn’t stop.

— And I don’t know what will become of me when he does — she whispered.

On the other end, Toto sighed.

— Liesl, remember what I told you that night on New Year’s Eve in the office?

— No — Elisabeth replied, somewhat uncertain.

— I asked you why you were worried. You said you were thinking about your father, wondering if he could handle the routine of traveling the world with the team.

Her memory transported her back to that night, the familiar and colorful roof of St. Stephen’s Cathedral filling her mind.

— And I told you — Toto continued — That he was strong. He’s proven it many times.

— Toto…

— This is just another opportunity for him to show how strong he is.

She remained silent for a few seconds, absorbing his words.

Elisabeth wanted to believe what Toto had just said. She really did. But she was realistic, especially in light of the doctor’s words. Niki’s condition was too severe, and any chance of recovery was minimal.

Her father was dying.

After asking him a few more questions and hearing Toto’s request to keep him updated, Elisabeth said goodbye and hung up. Passing a hand over her face, she allowed herself to take a few deep breaths before returning to the room to continue her vigil.

The day passed quietly, almost tediously. It was already dark outside when Elisabeth realized the beeps had begun to slow down. She quickly raised her eyes to the screen above her father’s head, noting that the numbers were decreasing by the second.

Standing from the sofa and moving toward the bed, Elisabeth realized he was slipping away.

— Dad — she whispered, intertwining her fingers with his.

Beep.

She thought of the times he took her to the park, pushing her on the playground swing. Loud laughter, shrieks of joy. Always asking to go higher, higher, always higher.

Beep.

Elisabeth recalled the moments he sat beside her to help with homework, the pride in his face every time she did math quickly. The joy in his voice, saying that her great-grandfather’s dream of having the Lauda name in business pages would be realized with her talent for numbers.

Beep.

She remembered graduation at the University of Vienna. How proud she felt when she raised her diploma high, her eyes focused on the red dot among the crowd attending the ceremony. The hug Niki gave her when she approached, whispering how proud he was of his daughter.

Beep.

Elisabeth thought about the elaborate acrobatics she had performed to hide her feelings for Toto, only for him to find out through an accidental social media post. The amused expression on Niki's face when she told him everything, only to hear him say that he had always known they would end up together — after all, that had been his plan.

Beep.

She recalled the look of shock on his face when he found out she was pregnant, tears streaming down his cheeks during her first hospital visit. His emotion had quickly turned into her own, as hormones had spared her not a single moment. But with a smile, he asked Elisabeth not to cry, saying that this was one of the happiest moments of his life.

Beep.

Elisabeth remembered the first time Andreas nestled in his grandfather’s arms, his white onesie contrasting with the red cap on Niki’s head. His first question was whether it was a boy, and surprisingly, he reacted well to the news. When he discovered that the little boy would bear his name, tears flowed down his face. Andreas Sven Lauda-Wolff was the luckiest boy in the world, he said, smiling.

Beep.

She lifted her gaze to the screen, staring at the continuous green line.

The sound continued to echo throughout the room. Long. Endless.

Elisabeth looked again at her father’s face, her eyes filling with tears. 

— Dad — she whispered, her voice barely audible, the knot in her throat tightening. 

He couldn’t have left. 

Not like this. 

Not at this moment.

— Dad, please — Elisabeth squeezed Niki’s hand, feeling the familiar warmth of his fingers. He had to be there. He had to be with her.

A pair of hands enveloped her shoulders, gently trying to pull her away from the bed.

— Elschen, come with me — Lukas said, his voice choked, but she completely ignored him. She only wanted to hear one voice.

— Dad, talk to me, dad — Elisabeth pleaded, looking at his face. But his expression remained the same, as if he were peacefully asleep, as he liked to do during summers in Ibiza.

— Elschen, please — Lukas repeated, his voice breaking in the middle of the sentence. He was crying too.

— Lukas, do something, please — she turned to her brother, clinging to his arms, seeking support. The support her father had always given. Until that day.

— Elschen — he said, pulling her into a tight embrace. Her tears soaked his shirt. Around her, Elisabeth heard the hurried footsteps of the medical team, blending with the muffled words over the continuous beep that filled the room with a grim atmosphere — Come with me.

— No, Lukas, I want dad — she sobbed, trying to pull away from his arms, but he held her fast. Elisabeth sounded more like a little girl desperate for her father’s presence than an adult woman, engaged and with a baby only a few months old at home.

— Elchen — her older brother sighed, holding her tightly, running his hand through her hair.

— Time of death, 10h16 PM — Elisabeth managed to make out among the chaotic voices, sobs, and machines beeping frantically, searching for the vital signs of a patient who was no longer there.

— Lukas, dad, Lukas — she mumbled, lifting her face to her brother, whose face was also wet with tears. He only pressed his lips to her forehead, causing her to bury her face in his chest.

“How am I supposed to live without him?” she wondered, her hands clutching the fabric of her brother’s shirt.

[reignpage]

Frequently Asked Questions

When do you post?

Whenever I have time, sometimes multiples times in one day, sometimes every other day, but I'm generally known to post daily Although, when I am free and I'm in the mood to post multiple times in a day, I usually wait until the prior post reaches 1,000 notes so I don't undermine the success of the posts

Why do you like angst so much?

Contrary to popular belief, angst isn't my favourite type of smau to do, I actually like smut and fluff just as much. I only post mostly angst because that's a) what people request from me most to the point where I get people DEMANDING angst b) what always get the most interactions

What app do you use to make your smaus?

I don't use an app. I use my own messages and I'll send myself texts.

Will you do other characters like Ino and Shiu?

Probably not. The usual 9 I do (or 6 if jjk boys aren't included) is already a lot of work for me. Plus I don't think I know other characters well enough to do them justice.

Why aren't you answering my requests?

Unfortunately, I can't answer every request, it's too much A lot of the times, I'm just not inspired by a request either because it's too specific or too broad But just because I haven't answered immediately, doesn't mean I'll never do it

Do you read your inbox?

Of course, I read all comments and messages sent to my inbox I may not reply to every nice message, but that's usually because I like to keep most of them in my inbox for me to scroll through when I'm feeling low

[observeowl]

Second Chance | Chapter 16 - Getting Close Again

Series masterlist

Natasha ended up staying by your side for longer than intended, making sure you were alright before leaving. She met Diana on the way out at the elevator and gave her a brief explanation of your illness. 

“Thanks for taking care of her.”

“No problem. I’m just glad that I saw her and she didn’t have to suffer alone.” 

When she is back studying with Clint, her thoughts couldn’t help but drift towards you. Even Clint could tell she was daydreaming as he was playing his game during his break. “How is she?” He asked. He figured he might as well try and make her talk about her feelings.

“She’s doing better after taking some medication.”

“You seem to know how to take care of her. I’ve never seen you taking care of me when I was sick.”

“You had others taking care of you, you didn’t need me.” Clint tried, but nonetheless, she was very good at keeping to herself. 

===

When you woke up it was well into the night and Diana was sleeping on the inflatable bed. You must have been sleeping very deeply to not hear the motor inflating. Rubbing your head, you felt significantly better than before with more energy but hungrier since you threw everything up. 

Slowly getting up making sure not to disturb Diana, you went out to find something to eat. Nothing much is open at this time near school so you had to walk a bit of a distance. You were starting to regret your choice when you realised it was darker than you thought. Perhaps you should have just spent a bit more and ordered through your phone. 

Nevertheless, you have committed and it’s too late to turn back now. 

You ordered a pizza from the shop and decided to eat there since the shop was empty and there was light for you to study. You stayed there until you felt your eyes closing and no information getting into your brain. And to thank Diana for letting you sleep in her dorm, you ordered another pizza to go for her. 

There are still a few hours left to sleep before the sun rise so you set your alarm to wake you up at 9 am. 

Sleeping in the middle of the day and waking up in the middle of the night is not a good thing for you. Tossing and turning in bed for a few minutes even though you were feeling tired up till the moment you touched the bed. 

Honestly, you must still be slightly sick because you ended up texting Natasha to check if she was still awake. Who in their right mind would be awake at this timing?

You were going to delete your message when she replied. 

N: Yeah, I’m awake. Are you alright? Do you need any help? 

Y: No, I don’t need any help. I am unable to go back to sleep. I figured you’d be the only one awake at this time. 

N: Well, you’re right. What do you want to do? Shall we just chat like old times? 

Y: Like old times huh. How many people get to say this when they are 23 years old? 

N: Not a lot I bet. That’s what makes us special. 

You waited for Nat to pick up the facetime as you laid on your bed. Nat generally took longer to finish her homework not because she isn’t efficient, but because there’s a lot for her to read compared to you. 

“Hi babe.” She answered immediately. “Hi!” You giggled, just being able to see her puts a smile to your face and brightens your day. 

“I wish we could see each other more often. I haven’t felt you for so long.” She complained. 

“Just two more weeks, Nat. Then we can see each other so much that you’re going to get sick of me.”

“Never!” 

“Have you thought about what you’re going to do during the break?” You asked. “Hm… I haven’t thought about it.” 

“You haven’t?” You asked, shocked. Natasha usually planned everything out early. “I’m kidding, babe. It’s a surprise. You’re going to be spoiled by me. We are going to do so many things you have never thought of doing before.”

“It’s not going to be anything dangerous is it?” You asked, knowing Nat is more on the adventurous side. It wouldn’t be far-fetched to imagine her planning for skydiving or mountain climbing. 

“Not at all, babe. It’s all going to be activities where your feet are still on the ground.” 

Both of you continued talking into the night until you were yawning and having a hard time keeping your head up and eyes open. “Go to sleep, babe.” You shook your head. “I want to stay with you.” 

“Just lie down and place your phone next to you. I’ll be here until you wake up.” 

N: That’s right.

I hope you’re not ignoring me, but just fallen asleep. I guess good night then

You were aware that your phone pinged with notification, likely from Natasha, but this time, your body was too heavy to pick up the phone to reply, only able to wish her good night in your mind. 

When you woke up in the morning, it was brighter than you thought it would be. You also don’t remember offing the alarm either. “Hey there sleeping princess. Have enough sleep?”

“Diana?”

“Yup, that’s me! Or have you fried your brain because you were sick. But I remember Natasha told me you didn’t have a fever.”

“I bought pizza back for you.” You shooed her away before heading to the washroom to freshen up. You took a look at the time while doing so and noted that it wasn’t that far off from 9am. 

“You went out in the middle of the night when you’re sick?” Diana was worried about you but carried on eating as usual. 

“I felt better then. And I was hungry.” You came out of the washroom with your new outfit, ready for the day. “Are you sure it’s wise not to take a day off to give a chance for your body to heal?” 

“You know I have lots of things to do, Diana.” 

“At least study here then. If anything goes wrong at least you’re safe. I’m not going to be here to disturb you anyway.” 

“Where are you headed?” 

“My friend invited me to study in the library. But I’ll check on you as often as possible, okay?” 

“There’s no need for that. I’m fine now. Just concentrate on your revision.” Ultimately, you were able to convince Diana to study with her friend and you were fine alone. “Promise that you will call me if you don’t feel well.” 

“Promise.”

You shifted some of her things to a corner before taking yours out from your bag. A change of environment always makes you study better anyway. You connected your earpods and started your revision. You pride yourself in your memory and since you know what the final exam was going to test, you were able to better focus on those topics. 

You studied until it was time for lunch and you saved your work before leaving. 

You were hungry but you knew you weren’t going to be able to finish a portion on your own, you didn’t want to waste food either. “Are you looking to share with someone?” You jumped out of your skin to hear Natasha behind you. 

“Are you stalking me? Why are you always around?” 

“You seem to forget I’ve known you for almost your whole life now. You have a routine. You always have your lunch around 12 or 12.30. It doesn’t take a genius to find out you have booked the same room for the entire week but did not appear today.” 

“That’s the definition of stalking.”

“Come on… I’ll share with you. Clint is sitting over there so we can sit together.” She pointed towards a direction and you noticed Clint waving over. “I’ll be waiting.” 

“So, did you manage to get her to sit with us?” Natasha nodded her head as she looked at you ordering your food. “You didn’t tell her we’ve been sitting here for the entire morning did you.” 

“Don’t be an idiot, Clint.”

“You know, you’ve changed. I’ve never seen you chase after someone like that. Not even when you and Maria were together. You seem happier too.”

“What chase? I’m not chasing her.”

“But you didn’t deny you’re happy with her.” 

“Hi, Clint. I haven’t seen you since we stood down for finals.” You placed your tray down and sat opposite Natasha. “Yup!”

“How’s your revision doing?” He asked. “I’m just taking it one step at a time. Even though the finals are spread out, there’s a lot of content to go through.” 

“Oh that reminds me, Wanda told me that you will be joining us after the finals.” Clint continues to mention. “I can’t wait for us to spend some time there together. We can head to the archery range if you’d like. We can just use their equipment instead of bringing ours.” 

“Is it going to be the same one that our archery club went to?” 

“No, it’s going to be slightly further this time. At the edge of the city.” You nodded. Slightly planning what you were going to do. If it is not in the city area, it is going to be hard to find a reason to leave…

You ate what you could before passing the remaining for Natasha to finish. Clint continued to talk about future events and how the holiday and internships were going to affect the number of people attending training. 

Eventually, you returned to Diana’s room after getting some ice lemon tea and the day passed similarly without much shift until it was the day of your first examination. 

You met your friend early for lunch before heading to law school since your first exam was Financial Crime, quite an interesting topic, you reflected. Honestly, a great professor with interesting topics that didn’t make you feel like sleeping in class. 

Reaching law school, there were already plenty of people waiting to enter their exam hall. Only pockets of space were available and seats were certainly filled. You and your friend went to stand near a wall and made sure that your laptop was working before having to head in. 

You didn’t expect to see Natasha, but you should have known since she studies law. “Y/N! You’re taking a law exam as well?” She gave a small wave to your friend at the same time. “Yeah, where’s Clint?” You looked around and there was no sign of your Captain. “He’s always here at the last minute for exams.”

“Good luck.” You said before Natasha was called away by her friends. 

As time ticks past, fewer people were at the hall and yet your classmate kept asking difficult questions that you cannot find an answer to. “If you use the money. which is your benefit, almost anything can be money laundering. You just need to phrase your answer carefully.” You decided to answer. 

Regardless, it was almost the starting time and you headed into the room as you noticed your other classmate talking to someone on the phone. You shrugged your shoulders, not really bothered about it but as it turns out, she was talking to her friend to borrow a laptop otherwise she wouldn’t be able to participate in the exam. 

“Seriously? How did you forget to bring your laptop?” You whispered as everyone was getting to their designated seats. She smiled cheekily before getting ready. 

The two hour test passed quickly and you came out of the room not feeling too confident (not that you ever have), but you were certain you did better than last time. MCQs were slightly harder to have a recollection of, but the open ended questions were alright. 

“Man… I hope prof is lenient in his marking.” You friends sighed as they came out of the room. “It depends on how the others did too.” 

Series masterlist

@queen-of-chaotic-surprises @esposadejoyhuerta @gemz5 @natsxwife @dyslexic-dreamer @unexpected-character @eternalnight410 @leenasayeed @oh-thats-sad @skz-xii @gay-frogs-dancing-around @justspance

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

Hi Ada! Sorry your mind is in a bleh place - sending you lotsa hugs!!💗💗

1) I FINALLY replaced by gravel bike that was stolen this summer (long story short I bought a replacement that was on a prize offer for the insurance money but couldn’t break on it properly bc even though it was a ‘women’s’ model the grips were too big and the breaks too hard to push for my nimble hands hehe and I had to convince the store to buy it back and sell me another one and it’s generally really difficult to find a good one in my size so I’ve been worried cause it’s a lot of money😩) and the guy who sold it to me was soo nice he like helped me out for an hour at least and was so helpful answering all my questions. And he gave me so much off the prize for the best bet of a bike he had, so that I actually got a BETTER more expensive bike and hardly had to pay extra! And we joked too - so I left yesterday feeling both really excited and like ‘successful human interaction checked!’ (People are nice and random things will sometimes work out!!)

2) this weekend I messaged my professor this weekend bc I’d completely missed the deadline for an assignment that could help me get some feedback on my ideas for my exam project. I’ve never interacted with him outside of class and of course I got all over sharing about why I missed the deadline and why I’ve missed class a few of times and struggled to be on time, telling him about the memorial days for my best friend, my anxiety and ADHD and how it’s been difficult to get back to everyday life after travelling and then when I’d sent it I felt super weird about it. But then he replied sharing that he’s struggled with his anxiety this month and a personal anecdote about how he’d actually been in the process of getting his doctor to prescribe anti-anxiety meds when he held the presentation on mental illness (the course is called ‘normality and deviance’). He ended the mail by sending me a ‘mental hug’ and it really meant a lot to me. The day before, in class I’d been late, but still participated and we had a guest teacher who when he left called my name and said ‘it was interesting to hear from you!’. I’ve been feeling bad about my academic skills and aspirations lately bc I feel like other stuff is holding me back. So these two things reminded me, that so many people struggle even those that you think are successful, and it doesn’t take away from the things you’re good at and love doing!!!🥹

3) I wore my binder out for the first time this weekend, for my friend’s birthday and following night out and felt really affirmed and good about myself and in my body!! (Of course I was still hit on by a straight guy who got a bit gross when I very gently rejected him but oh well).

4) have a few pics of my family dog!!

And one of Moo Dom (thank you for the name suggestion D @carlos-tk ) who is one of your biggest cheers for writing delectable smut and making this fandom kinkier!!!🥳🤩 he reads along over my shoulder from where he’s placed on the couch pillows and he’s a big fan😌

I’ve been in a bleh mood myself - on and off everyday obligations this semester has felt a bit overwhelming, doubting my academic aspirations and the winter depression symptoms hit hard suddenly after my all-nighter to follow the election last week.. but these little things made me feel better and I am coming up from it and the sun is out today!!☀️

I hope you feel better soon too and take care of yourself and can relish in some of the little things along the way<3<3<3

- Life is a rollercoaster and a WIP! <3😌

what's up wednesday

Hey everyone! Thanks for the tags. I've been steadily working away at both kinktober and the rent boy au, but I'm kind of in a bleh mental space right now so I don't really feel like sharing.

That said, because of bleh mental space, I'd love, love, love to hear something positive that's happening with all of you!

Whether that be something that made you smile, something you're proud of, a picture of your pet, I want all the good vibes! Feel free to reply, reblog, send an ask, message me or not reply it all, I won't take it personal!

Tagging those that have tagged me already:

@nisbanisba, @thisbuildinghasfeelings, @heartstringsduet, @paperstorm, @carlossreaders

@strandnreyes

Then I'll tag some of the usual crew:

@reyesstrand, @herefortarlos, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @carlos-in-glasses, @carlos-tk

@theghostofashton, @bonheur-cafe, @basilsunrise, @never-blooms, @literateowl

@lightningboltreader, @honeybee-taskforce, @guardian-angle22, @goldenskykaysani, @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@freneticfloetry, @fifthrideroftheapocalypse, @sanjuwrites, @sheholdsthemoon, @actual-sleeping-beauty

@ironheartwriter, @irispurpurea, @your-catfish-friend, @whatsintheboxmh, @welcometololaland

@rmd-writes, @butchreyes, @emsprovisions, @tellmegoodbye and then here's a tag for anyone who just wants to share some good news <3 <3 <3 <3

[kk-cats]

i think i should stop posting before i worry people or annoy people

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[partystoragechest]

A story of romance, drama, and politics which neither Trevelyan nor Cullen wish to be in.

Canon divergent fic in which Josephine solves the matter of post-Wicked Hearts attention by inviting invites four noblewomen to compete for Cullen's affections. In this chapter, the competition is won.

(Masterpost. Beginning. Previous entry. End. Words: 1,762. Rating: all audiences.)

Chapter 50: Wanted

It was hard to overstate how impossible it was to marry Trevelyan off. A mage of such little accomplishment, and such signifcant unimportance, she had always been unwanted.

And thank the Maker for it.

For had she not been so magnificently undesirable, Trevelyan would have none of what she had now: a home; an occupation; a hope, for her future.

And she would certainly not be preparing to tell Cullen that she cared for him.

But she was. Within the sanctuary of her room, she readied. Her hair was tidied into place, her dress selected and draped over her body. In the little looking-glass upon her dresser, she inspected herself for the thousandth time.

Caught, within her reflection, were the golden rays of a setting sun, filtering through her window to herald the arrival of the evening hour. The moment had come.

Trevelyan begged the trinkets upon her desk to bring her luck. Beside her book of astronomy and a neatly-folded napkin, lay an onyx-encrusted Orlesian mask, a ribbon of pink chiffon, and a little wooden chess piece. Reminders.

They’d be proud of her. They would support her.

(They’d want the gossip after.)

Smiling, emboldened by their memory, Trevelyan found the courage to leave the room.

The corridors of the castle beyond carried on as if normal, blissfully unaware of what transpired within her mind. No soul she passed could tell how extensively it practiced the words she’d practiced all night and all morn:

Cullen, I care for you.

Such a simplification. Those few words alone could not tell of how every time she heard his voice, her ears did warm. Of how every time he smiled in her direction, her eyes could not bear the sight. Of how every time their fingers brushed, her body gnawed itself from within.

But that was perhaps a lot to say, so the simplified version would have to do.

Yet words fell away, as she reached his tower. Skyhold came to a hush, breath and breeze the only sounds. The drum-beat of her heart quaked through the valley. Evening sun cowered below the horizon. Mountains watched, in anticipation.

Ancient, gnarled wood stood between them. A door Trevelyan feared to open. She raised her hand to knock.

The door opened anyway.

A startled messenger appeared on the other side. With a hasty, “Sorry, ma’am,” they hurried past, and left her to the room beyond. Trevelyan shook the concern of their business from her mind, and peered inside.

Cullen’s office was warm, inviting. Candles flickered in every corner, an intimacy radiated by their glow. His desk had been cleared of its usual clutter, place settings prepared on either side. A chair waited, for her to take it.

Cullen already occupied another. But his mood did not match that of the room. He leant hard upon his hands, eyes shut firm. Only when her foot crossed the threshold, did he look up.

“Arcanist,” he greeted, solemnly rising from his seat. “Are you well?”

“I am,” Trevelyan confessed. “And—you?”

Cullen shook his head. “I am afraid I can’t stay.”

“What?”

He made his way around the table, hand trailing its prefectly-prepared surface. “We’ve received word, from the Champion—the Grey Wardens have been corrupted. The Inquisitor has called the War Council. We may be at war with Adamant.”

Everything Trevelyan had been worried for mere minutes ago now paled. Though words could hurt, the theatre of battle could kill. And a general must ride with his army.

“How soon will you march?” she asked, afraid of the answer.

“...At dawn.”

Breath spilled from her lungs. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no—it’s… I understand. It cannot be helped.”

The Maker had a wicked sense of humour. Truly, at last, urgent business did call him away. Yet it was this. Yet it was now.

“You can stay, if you like,” he offered, as if a concession. “You may eat—I can still have the food brought.”

“What about you?” Trevelyan asked. She meant it more ways than one.

So did he: “I’ll be all right.”

His hand almost reached for her, but any attempts at gestures or reassurances died in place. Though the ache upon his face told the story of a man who wished to do something to fix this, there was, in truth, nothing to be done.

“I’ll try and see you before I depart,” he told her, his only consolation.

“Thank you,” she said.

Little more to do or say, he retreated from her side. Though she could feel his lingering gaze, linger he did not. The War Council beckoned.

“Wait—”

She said it before she’d even had chance to contemplate what came next. Cullen halted at the door. Anticipating.

“Arcanist?”

Trevelyan resolved herself. She would not have this moment taken from her. She would not allow him to leave, to march off to battle, for Maker-knows-what to happen—not without first knowing this:

“Cullen, I care for you.”

The candles flickered. Cullen’s fingers slipped from the door handle. His voice was but a whisper:

“You… even after everything..?”

Even after everything. “I thought you should know.”

The door was abandoned; he padded towards her. “Are you certain?”

“I am,” she said. He drew in close. She asked, “Do you..?”

“I do,” he murmured, “also. Care for—care for you, I mean. As well.”

Trevelyan’s breath caught. Maker, let this be real. Let this not be a dream. Let her not have imagined this.

Yet here he was, before her. She hadn’t imagined it. She hadn’t imagined any of it. The pining looks, the accidental touches, the hopeful invitations—they had all been meant. And they had all been meant for her.

Cullen whispered, “I didn’t think, after all that’s happened, that you would…”

“I do,” she reassured him, “I do.”

His anxious face softened to a smile, the warmth of it flushing Trevelyan’s cheeks. Quite unable to meet his eye, she settled instead upon that smile. And the lips that formed it.

Cullen must have noticed, for he cleared his throat, and withdrew.

“I should... get to the War Council,” he told her, guilt strung throughout his voice. “But, we could talk, later?”

“Yes,” Trevelyan agreed, wholeheartedly, “please.”

“Good”—reluctant, he took a step from her—“good.”

Her eyes did not leave him, as strode for the door. Nor did his leave her, even as he opened it. And though his hand remained upon the handle, his feet hesitant to pass the threshold—with one last smile, he slipped on through.

And was gone.

Yet in Trevelyan’s mind, he remained; for within, she replayed the moment over and over and over. He cared for her. Maker, he cared for her. Weeks ago, she would not have wished to hear such a thing—but now, it was all she wished to hear. He cared for her! And she—

The door slammed open. Trevelyan had little time to express her surprise—as Cullen marched back in, took her by the waist, and asked:

“I… May I—?”

She kissed him.

Their lips met as if shaped for one another, as if sculpted by the same godly hand. His, warm and wetted, were as tender in their touch as the man to whom they belonged. There was a tangible distinction, between their caress and that of his scar, and there was an irreplacable intimacy in the knowledge of it. She did not know how she would bear it.

But bear it she would, for the kiss was worth it. No sensation in all of Thedas could compare to the sensation of him. To have the barriers between them burnt to ash; to feel the fire within him intertwine with her own; to succumb and melt into his form. There was nothing so perfect.

When at last he withdrew, her eyes opened. She had not realised they were closed.

“That was… really nice,” Cullen murmured, himself too dazed for grander description.

“Just one,” Trevelyan whispered, “or more?”

“More,” he replied.

Their lips connected again, and the sensation was no less divine the second time. Nor the third. Nor the fourth.

It was sweet, slow, satiating. Her curiosity to know the touch of his lips had long become a hunger which only they could satisfy. Dinner was unnecessary. His was a nectar she could sup on for eternity.

If only they had that eternity. But into their next kiss, she murmured:

“Shouldn’t you be on your way to the War Council?”

His reply was spoken upon her lips: “In a moment.”

Trevelyan had no objection. She would fight the war herself, for a moment more of this. But she wasn’t the one who had to.

“Cullen—”

He kissed her again, as if to stop her from saying it.

“Cullen...”

One more—and he finally relented:

“All right.”

Though their lips parted, their foreheads remained as one, each rested gently upon the other.

“You cannot forsake your duty,” she warned.

But the tip of his nose still trailed her skin, as if in search of another kiss: “Don’t tempt me.”

She stroked his hair back into place. “So you do find me tempting?”

He caught her hand, and brought it to his lips. “Naturally,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the centre of her palm. Trevelyan curled her fingers around it, and kept it safe within.

“The stars are out tonight,” she told him.

“Good,” he said. “I’ll see you there.”

“Yes.”

She leant in, to leave a final kiss upon his cheek; but felt his stubble graze her skin, as he turned and caught her by the mouth one last time.

It was only when he began to linger that Trevelyan did object.

“Cullen,” she whispered.

His lips withdrew, his body parted. The loss of his warmth and pressure left a chasm; the reluctance and hesitation of it was shared between them. Their hands remained intertwined until the last—until he took one step too many, and his fingers slipped away.

“Farewell,” he told her.

“Another time,” she replied.

One last look, one last smile, and he left the room. For good, this time.

Trevelyan collapsed against his desk. Her fingers traced the path of his lips, across her own, onto her skin, burning the memory into her mind, so that it would never leave her.

A feeling welled within her chest, entirely unfamiliar. But as she wiped the first, joyful tears from her cheek, she recognised it.

Wanted. Finally, wanted.

[sparklingcurepeace]

First and foremost I want to start off by saying that I had planned to respond to this all on the day your reply was sent to me. My thoughts were already spiraling with what to say, both out of eagerness and fear, because I didn't expect you to ask me a question directly—So I hope I can clear up a little bit as to why I think anime appeals to such a broad audience, including myself.

Whether or not it will make sense to you or be satisfactory, I can not guarantee.

Hopefully this doesn't become crazy long or sound like a ramble, but I can't guarantee that either. 😅

I am by no means an expert on Japanese culture. Heck, I am no expert on western culture and I live in America. So when you say anime isn't really your thing, mainly because you don't understand the culture of it, I think that's actually pretty valid. Maybe to others who have read or will read this post, your words came off strong, but at least you were honest. Much of what you said, believe it or not, is something I think plenty of people can agree with to some extent; whether you're an anime fan or not.

I do think it's possible that we as people have the capability to understand or learn to understand things that aren't necessarily from our culture. After all the world is so vast and there is beauty in our differences, and we our often encouraged to embrace what sets us apart. Of course we, at our core, are made of the same stuff, so certain ideals, values and messages might shine through no matter where they come from. I think anime can address grander themes like love, death, faith, ect. and even point to truth, but it might either be one facet of the story or you have to dig a little deeper to find it. I've seen people attempt this, so i think it's possible. It just requires some work. At least that's how I see it.

Anime is a unique medium to navigate because it 100% is coming from a country that is different from my own in many ways, but I mean this more so in the small intricacies. Again, I am no expert, so what I say might be a bit inaccurate or plain wrong, but from what I've come know, anime is used as a means to counter things in Japanese society. An example of what I mean would be how many of the characters in anime, especially school students, have hair and eye colors that aren't natural. The designs in general can be pretty out there, sometimes looking wacky or just over the top, it could never be replicated in real life unless it's cosplay (probably). You're might be wondering why I mentioned that, since anything animated could do this as well, and you are right. It's not inherently special.

With anime though, I think it has more to do with the fact that in Japan, there is a tendency to keep things uniform. To keep things orderly, rather than drawing attention to yourself, dressing or acting in ways that are deemed inappropriate or out of the norm. Anime is not a replica of the day to day Japanese society, unless a particular show is crafted that way, so even some of the things going on in a story could even be seen as odd or uncommon or dare I assume, scandalous. Anime can be criticized by the very people responsible for it, so even when they KNOW the culture, they as the audience can react to it in many ways. I am sure someone else could explain this much better, perhaps understand it much better, because I typed all this and I am beginning to wonder if I lost you and I haven't even addressed some of your comments directly. I apologize.

All of that above is basically to say, YES, the culture is tricky and unless you're willing to try and see why things are the way they are when consuming something as popular as anime, I don't think you'll have the best experience. In my case, I will admit, I had a somewhat complicated relationship with anime. I still do but not for the same reasons as back then, when I was still a child and witnessing all this for the first time. I was familiar with shows such as Pokémon and (English) Yu-gi-oh! which are rather tame in comparison to...so many other anime out there. But I wasn't a fan, yet. I hadn't really dove into the anime pool, much less felt like exploring it, due to my upbringing and general reluctance to watch anything because the way anime looked was so different than what I was used to.

Until one day, finally, an uncle got me to watch a show that is generally geared towards children. I liked it, I liked the story and while the art wasn't as weird as it could have been, it took some getting used to Then he thought I could handle one that was for an older audience but not terribly grotesque or sexual or dark. It did have violence, although I think it was mostly justified given the subject matter. Shameless advertising, I think you might want to give this one a try, it's called Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. I think there's plenty of lessons to pull from it, it isn't purely made to entertain just because.

I'm getting off track, so let's try to get back to your grievances.

So, I don't understand it very well. I don't understand why everyone's screaming. I absolutely don't understand the character designs. I don't understand the use of blushing. I don't understand the humor or the drama. I don't understand why one interaction can take several "episodes," and the dialogue is unrealistic the entire time. People don't talk like that. And it would be one thing if people talked in an unrelatable cadence once, as part of the "style" of a film or show, but it's across the board for every anime I've seen.

I think I and many other self proclaimed anime fans, got into it on the basis of the art style drawing us in. Yeah it was weird and new but it could also be fun and incredibly pretty. Also, there's real dedication and skill put into many anime I've seen, at least when you're looking at the scenery, food, and non-human related imagery. So if you're an art person or just like looking at things that are well made, that could certainly explain part of the reason why people watch anime, whether or not the designs make sense. I suppose that is also aesthetic choice as well.

So you could say, before we (The fans) understood anything about the culture, or why things were being done in the story, we just accepted it as different and went along with whatever was going on, for, entertainment and fascination. That includes things like the screaming, the humor, and even those strange speech patterns.

It definitely catches people by surprise. Even to this very day, while I am aware of these different things, I can still get annoyed or stunned by some of the anime antics. I think all the screaming has to do in part with anime being understood as a medium where you are expected to exaggerate and use excessive emotion to sell whatever you're going for. It doesn't have to be anything related to love, a battle or something super sad—That's just the acting. In comedies they can really go over the top, and that can be done as a way to sort of poke fun at anime as a whole. Then of course, if I went deeper, I might find that this ties back to ancient forms of storyteling and playacting. I can't say for certain if screaming was ALWAYS apart of how Japanese performed, however, I wouldn't be shocked by it. Same can be said about drama. Every culture has their own form of drama, each distinct in how they demonstrate it, and Japan is the same way. Their show of humor is probably a mix of doing things because its fiction , "anything goes in fiction" + certain tropes being tied once more to what they've gotten from their storytelling tradtions. Or maybe the tropes aren't even that old, they were just created first in japan and have been utilized since. Like when characters fall on their face and their legs stick up when somebody says something stupid.

As for dialogue, I can't quite figure it out myself. I assume the japanese speak more formally than your average person ? Although there is no way of actually knowing that. In anime especially, I notice they can speak in a way that just feels...weirdly poetic. Then you also have those weird breaks or pauses in sentences. Which does work if the situation calls for it, I think, but even I find myself saying something like "please just talk normal, you're doing too much 😭," every now and then. Also let me tell you, I think everyone at some point has COMPLAINED about anime taking multiple episodes to resolve an issue or reach a much needed discussion, especially when discussing romance anime. I've chopped it up to being for these reasons:

It heightens the drama and makes the audience anxious to see what happens. It's trapping you to stay for the rest of the show.

It's part of the plot, somehow. This scene can't happen until something else happens and that can drag, whether intentional or not.

I suppose you could say that there are situations in real life that would play out like this. A person who is shy or hates confrontation just keeps things to themselves, just doesn't bother to address the issue at hand and the more they leave it alone, the worse it becomes. Anime just makes a bigger hassel.

Are these all possible reasons? I doubt it. Still, I think they apply the most.

Now I'm going to merge what you said at the beginning and what you said near the middle.

Otherwise, why is there so much gratuitous cleavage? Whats with the emphasis on violence violence violence? Plus cursing? Why are all of the "attractive" characters a little-girl stereotype or a sexy femme fatale stereotype? And what's with the feminine looking dude characters? Why does one fight take six episodes? Why does one "romance" last an entire show but consist of nothing except gasps and blushes?

You sure picked some hot button topics to ask about if I can dare say so. I call them hot button topics because whether you're a long time anime fan or short time fan or just not a fan at all, many of these things have been discussed before...usually in great detail lol. Especially the part about women, there's quite a few video essays and conversations surrounding these seemingly common yet unnecessary things. There's all the feminism and patriachy stuff and I am not dismissing it or saying it isn't important to consider, but some of that I just...don't think matters to some degree. If I were honest, a lof of those big cleavages and sexy stereotypes exist because the audience (mainly men) want it and like it, and it pertains to a fantasy. Same with the little girl looking characters that can be super old. I AM NOT SAYING IT'S A GOOD FANTASY. But it exists. Additonally, however, it comes down to art style and aesthetic. Anime can do whatever it wants, thus you can design the characters however, based on what's popular, based on what you (the creator) wants and likes. Or they are filling some sort of quota, you gotta have the comedic relief character, the moody character, the pretty girl, whatever. The feminine looking dude thing is its own archetype and has its own history, one I couldn't really explain because I am not well versed. But that too, is catering to someone out there.

In regards to how blushing is used...my dear, I think that is, once more, an art choice. Many people know anime by its cutesy big eyed designs. Usually, you'll find a character blushing too. Typically it is used to show embarassment, shame or excitment. It probably adds to that cutesy factor, as well as exaggerating that emotion being expressed. Then there are moments of crying, or just other occasions when blushes are used, and I gather that is done because in real life, people can get super worked up. They can get all hot and red in the face or they get so flustered their cheeks show it. Still, this is not wholly accurate and thus, it's just artistic choice to add blush for a specfic moment or just cause. The gasping...yeah I don't quite like that either. Or excessive violence or cursing.

Depending on WHAT the story is, I'd argue you might need that violence. Could be about war, could be about surviving from a great evil, essentially anything that involves fighting. But even I have to admit, it can go...overboard. Or feel like whoever was making that fight scene was having a little too much fun yk? If you have certain kinds of characters who are just rough and angry or have gone through something traumatic, this may result in a potty mouth. On average I am surrounded by adults and teens who just make a habit of swearing, or its just part of the vocabulary. Anime is no different it seems.

Just cutting in to say that, whoever recommended you watch Demon Slayer and Naruto or whatever else- they showed you the "mainstream" shows. Nothing inherently wrong with that but anime is filled with all sorts of shows and some can go outside the norm of what is popular. Maybe you were shown the wrong stuff or it wouldn't have mattered either way because it wouldn't have what you're seeking. Unfortunately.

You aren't wrong in saying some values that are perceivable in the animes you've seen might be ones that the West is adopting and trying to instill in us. I wish you had been a little more specific in what values you mean so I could have a better handling on whether I agree with you fully or not. Even so, I think I have an idea of what you're saying. Not everything I see in anime I agree with or think matters or should be something to encourage, and that isn't me trying to be disrespectful to the culture but it's true.

I also find it odd that so many young Western men are drawn to anime. I don't think it's an awesome thing. All the anime I've ever seen: Demonslayer, Naruto, etc. doesn't have anything particularly good for them in it. There's a ton of violence, of egos getting slung around, yelling, and terribly long gratuitous brain-numbing pacing, along with sensual gasping and drama-for-drama's sake. And I know my young male friends are no more Japanese or understanding of Japanese culture than I am. So what are they getting out of it? They can't ever tell me.

This is perhaps the hardest part of the replies because I know what I think and have come to know about this appeal young men have for anime and it isn't all...good. Neverthless I will try to be fair to them. In the first place, I think men have a tendancy to like most things with battles and cool powers and just general rough housing. So if anime has that, plus a story compelling enough to draw them in, understanding the culture doesn't matter so much as does watching the characters kick some butt on screen. That just sounds like watching something for entertainment, it just gets a rise out of you and I think that's what it usually is. I think the closet equavilant that comes to mind is superhero and action films. Is the average guy watching for a message or because it's exciting and bloody and there's a ton of bodies running around?

another thing...people like to see themselves in the characters. This happens me sometimes as well. Maybe whoever is on screen right then and there, is seen as relatable to the young man watching and he starts to imagine himself like the character or indentify with certain traits, certain situations. I am not saying that this is always good or even healthy, mind you, but it happens. And I think whoever is making the anime(s) is aware of that. This can be said for girls too but that is a different discussion.

Many men are watching anime for the eye candy too, that being, the female characters. I don't think I need to explain to you what can be done and thought about when characters are made to invoke sexual desires. It can be explicit or implicit but it's still there and that comes with its own issues. I'm not trying to sound like some kind of prude or judge, I've dealt with my fair share of strong feelings with characters, but I wouldn't call it a good thing. Much of what was said in this response to my ask, I've been convicted about because I know that deep down, not all of it is really doing anything for the audience, we're just here to have a good time with whatever is on screen. It can feel very shallow.

I could probably say more but i think this is enough. I hope this makes sense, I jumped around a lot, not sure if I answered every question the best I could. I wanted to try and provide context. This conversation hits home in some ways so that is also why this reply is long. My brain is fried though and this took forever to type, but just know, if you don't think you could ever like anime, that's fine. It an acquired taste. You might be better off away from it.

Hi, not to sound like a creep but I was trying to find this one reply to ask about the Chosen series because I remembered something and I wanted to see if you're the one who said it. But then I couldn't find it. Stumbled into this one post where you said your least favorite medium is anime and I'm quite curious about that now. I don't generally have an issue when people say they don't like anime, as a whole, but I try to understand why. Of course even if you just said "I just don't like it" then I could respect that too, since I can not push it.

I think it's like a language I don't speak. Even the English-dubbed versions. In anime, it's not made by people in my culture, for my culture. So, I don't understand it very well. I don't understand why everyone's screaming. I absolutely don't understand the character designs. I don't understand the use of blushing. I don't understand the humor or the drama. I don't understand why one interaction can take several "episodes," and the dialogue is unrealistic the entire time. People don't talk like that. And it would be one thing if people talked in an unrelatable cadence once, as part of the "style" of a film or show, but it's across the board for every anime I've seen.

There's nothing wrong with that, per se. Like I said, it's just made for a different culture, one I'm not in. And that's fine. Could I learn it? Could I engross myself in it until I feel what the media is trying to make me feel and get what they're trying to say?

Yeah. I could.

But most often, it doesn't feel worth it. It doesn't feel like the anime I've seen is really trying to point to a significant truth or remind people of goodness and beauty, so much as it is pointless entertainment.

Otherwise, why is there so much gratuitous cleavage? Whats with the emphasis on violence violence violence? Plus cursing? Why are all of the "attractive" characters a little-girl stereotype or a sexy femme fatale stereotype? And what's with the feminine looking dude characters? Why does one fight take six episodes? Why does one "romance" last an entire show but consist of nothing except gasps and blushes?

Not a fan.

I have seen one or two anime that clearly have a point. They're Studio Ghibli, though.

And again, I'm not saying anime's have no point in general. I'm saying I'd have to understand the culture to get the point, but the culture itself seems to be based around values that I don't find valuable. And a lot of those "values" if I'm reading them right are the ones our Western culture is starting to push down throats more and more, and I don't like those, either, so there you go.

I also find it odd that so many young Western men are drawn to anime. I don't think it's an awesome thing. All the anime I've ever seen: Demonslayer, Naruto, etc. doesn't have anything particularly good for them in it. There's a ton of violence, of egos getting slung around, yelling, and terribly long gratuitous brain-numbing pacing, along with sensual gasping and drama-for-drama's sake. And I know my young male friends are no more Japanese or understanding of Japanese culture than I am. So what are they getting out of it? They can't ever tell me.

Maybe you can?

[martian-martian-martian]

theres nothing better after a long day of actually pertinent real life responsibilities than relaxing online with a nice, familiar fandom flame war.

apparently believing canon shouldnt be completely actively ignored, especially to the detriment of BIPOC representation, for the sake of a cringe ship is a controversial take.

i dont know what i expected, its always the same people actually. they tend to swarm to the same shit, just different fandoms.

im not saying i presume every vaultghoul person is a racist creep… i just probably need proof lmao.

because rn yall look like basic bitches who find it very convenient to push characters of color completely out of the way and pretend they don’t exist. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[woundedheartwithin]

Something y’all need to know about me is, if I message you or tag you or send you an ask or comment or address you in the tags, I am NOT expecting an answer! Not ever, and I mean that. I will not get upset if you never reply to it, and this is for two reasons:

1. I know intimately how stressful and scary and exhausting notifications can be, especially when you’re not feeling so great mentally/physically/emotionally, and I will automatically assume this is the case if I don’t get a reply, even if I see you actively posting on my dash

2. I have already forgotten that I sent you something

[sakkac]

for now i only logged in to post my thots on <3 19th life <3 but i’ll try to remember to check other stuff on tumblr later orz

[alexanderwales]

"I don't think I could have the relationship with you that you have with me," she said. She was very casual about it, and I was immediately on the defensive.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

She put the book she'd been reading down. "It's just, the way you've described it, and the vibe that I get, I don't think I could do it how you do it."

"I still don't know what that means," I said.

"You're always doing this like ... micro calculation thing," she said. "You weigh your words. You try to time things. You have never once called me up while I was at work, or asked me for something when it was inconvenient for me, and you check and double check that you're not being a nuisance."

"And ... that's bad?" I asked.

"No, I love that about you," she said. "It's very kind and considerate. I know that if I tell you I'm not in the mood to hang out, you'll apologize and not push it. If you suggest that we get pizza and I say I'd rather have Korean BBQ, you fold instantly and we get Korean BBQ. I like that. I get the things I want. But it seems like an exhausting way to deal with people."

"I want you to be happy," I said with a small voice.

"I am happy," she replied. "You're great. You remember when we first got together I was like 'hey, look, if you want pizza, we can get pizza, it's just not what I'm in the mood for', and you kept insisting that you didn't care, that you would rather have me follow my needs? And I just thought, 'you know, maybe I should just trust that's what they actually feel'. And it is, as far as I can tell. There's not some secret part of you that wants me to break your way."

"You think I'm ... a simpering coward?" I asked. Even as I said it, it felt too accusatory, the wrong thing to say in the situation.

"Whoa, no, not at all," she laughed. "I think you do all that stuff because ... I don't know, you want to? Because otherwise why would you do it? It's how you are with every aspect of your life, you're a tryhard. I mean you said to me that you wanted to reclaim the term. Your relationship with me is that you're a tryhard (affectionate)."

"And you're ... not?" I asked.

"I'm not that way with anyone," she replied. "You know why I hang out with you so much? It's 'cause I like you. Most days, I am very much in the mood for you, and if you ask for a meetup, I'll say yes, and if you don't ask for one, then I'll ask you first. And for you ..."

"What?" I asked.

"It's like ... you're keeping track," she said. "You want to make sure that you're not sending me more messages than I'm sending you. You're balancing social micro stuff that I don't pay attention to. You're consciously monitoring how much each of us has said and making sure it's the right number of words or whatever."

"It's really not about the number of words," I replied. "It's more ... making sure that social and emotional labor is equitable, that there's a good rhythm to the conversation. I don't think you'd get good results by tracking word count."

"But see, I don't do any of that," she said. "I talk because I feel like talking. I listen when you need to vent because I like you and it feels good to give you an outlet. I mean you are undoubtedly putting in a bunch of work, and for me, there's no work. That's all I meant, really."

"You've thought about it," I said.

"Oh, I'm just reading this book, and there are two characters like us in it, and I was like 'yes, exactly', and then 'that would not work for me'." She shrugged.

"And if I stopped 'putting in the work'?" I asked. "Would we still be ... friends?"

"See, I don't know," she said. "Because that's never who you've been. You're asking me if I would still be friends with you if you changed your personality and how we interact with each other. Maybe? Probably? Who knows? Maybe we'd be better friends somehow. Maybe we're just two basically compatible people, and every time you've ever worried about anything it would actually have been completely fine."

"Or maybe it's load-bearing," I said.

"Maybe!" she replied with a smile that slowly faded. "You okay?"

"I'm thinking," I said. I didn't know if I could verbalize what I was thinking in a way that would be palatable.

"Do you not like being this way with me?" she asked. "Because I have never asked you to. I've made my preferences known, but if you've been bending yourself into knots and feeling a burden, then ..."

"No," I said, because I knew it was what she wanted to hear. "No, I like the way things are between us."

"Good," she smiled. "I do too."