#god just ask my irl friends lmao I just send them shit and then forget they exist 😂

[woundedheartwithin]

Something y’all need to know about me is, if I message you or tag you or send you an ask or comment or address you in the tags, I am NOT expecting an answer! Not ever, and I mean that. I will not get upset if you never reply to it, and this is for two reasons:

1. I know intimately how stressful and scary and exhausting notifications can be, especially when you’re not feeling so great mentally/physically/emotionally, and I will automatically assume this is the case if I don’t get a reply, even if I see you actively posting on my dash

2. I have already forgotten that I sent you something

[waitingforeddyneddy]

Question; what makes you the superior Simone fan? I'm really curious abt your thoughts, because i'm moots without all of the ppl you've accused of being hateful against Simone, but literally all they do is love her and call out the ones that cause discourse just to get some kind of purpose in life (in this case that's you).

I have some follow up questions; Would you've like JB more if he was straight, so you could ship Jimone irl? and second: don't you think actions speak louder than liking someone's Instagram post or not?

Context: Look at the lovely way they speak abt each other when asked, look at the damn bts pics/videos. We all know jimone aren't chronically online like you.... but to me (and most) the things they've said matter more than fucking likes/comments.

you're so pathetic like your friends my god

HOW THE FUCK can I wish for two strangers to be together when this whole mess started cause I called out people who think they are besties? All I said is that I wished people would stop mentioning Simone everytime that man leaves his house. Now you must have made quite a leap in logic to reach that conclusion. I don't think they're friends/I don't like him/I like Simone---->I want them to date ihihi. GIRL FUCK YOU.

Still clinging to two intervies made during PROMOTION of a neflix series cannot be the only things you lot attach yourself to, be for real. Oh wait a minute you absolutely can cause you don't have shit to prove they're bestie lmao.

I don't think i'm the superior simone fan nor do i think i'm in a parasocial relationship with her. I reserve those things to your friends. Aren't they the ones who proudly say they wish for JB to baptize them with their pussy juice? I've never said anything that insane towards Simone, thank god. If I think Nia is not a real fan is because I just think it's so fucking funny how she keeps saying they have no other choice to drag simone into this. She's not fooling anyone. She can defend posh british dude without Simone getting involved. Or they can stop sending each other ss of my tumblr posts but they won't do that cause they are frothing at the mouth at the chance to vomit shit about Simone totally unprovoked. Or posting out of context clips of her saying anything during p r o m o t i o n as some sort of great proof that i'm wrong. Seems to me they are the ones in a parasocial relationship. Let's not forget how you all laughed at the "simone come get your man" tweet. Don't accuse me of wanting them in a relationship (???) when you're the ones who thought that shit was funny.

[zeta-in-de-walls]

Zeta my beloved, how are you doing on this fine evening? I've finally graduated! I immediately destressed by cleaning my room until 3 AM, so that was fun, though I slept for a day afterwards.

Anyways, I can't believe we were graced with two 1-hour long Tommyinnit streams and another hour or so on Wilbur’s! And SBI 4/4! Wow, what a great day, and not even to mention the hysterical main channel vid. Today was an absolute win.

I also love how Tommy addressed the therapy thing. What a sweet kid. He didn't want people saying he was forced into it cause of blank, and him mentioning it in the first place was to destigmatize it, so he didn't want any misconceptions being spread around. Again, therapy is poggers kids. It's incredibly brave of him to be willing to admit that sometimes you just need a bit of guidance, to hundreds of thousands of people on livestream no less, and still be so fucking positive about it in order to destigmatize it. What a fucking legend.

Also, I love the image that Wilbur is very into jusy tossing people. He apparently threw Tommy into water during the upcoming vlog with Gogy and also tackled him four times on the beach. He really is a big brother lmao. And, let's not forget that he fucking picked banger clothes for Tommy who actually quite liked them and "understands fashion" now. The Wilburfication is only getting stronger the more they meet up. Like seriously, if you compare to first meetup to the one this week, the change is crazy. Also, lol Wilbur texting Tommy the tweet about him looking like a goldfish in the theme park vlog and sending him "proof," and Tommy cussing him out but also quietly admitting it??? My crimebois heart is so fucking full rn.

God there's just so much I love about them. How they're both so touch-affectionate, with Tommy giving people hugs (both irl and in canon lol) and Wilbur in general being very aww and clingy with Tommy (Wilbur "I don't want to hug Tommyinnit" giving us THAT moment at the end). It's even funnier when you realize Tubbo is the 'touch-repulsed' one, or as in his words when Tommy gave him a hug, "What the fuck?" Or Tommy wearing lots of pastels and the shit tons of pink stuff? Softtt boiii. Both have like insane golden retriever vibes, despite their foul mouths and general vulgarity lmao.

Both are also very good at doing convincing bits. Tommy knowing George was gonna prank call him and seeing the chaos afterwards but was like lol this is funny, so suffer. The break into Wilbur’s office being a bit too. Tommy totally getting rejected by that girl. How Wilbur was genuinely trying to mess with Tommy because of how scared he was in the vlog, even though Wilbur was also scared haha. Or just the entire vlog having huge amounts of family sitcom vibes.

Wow, whoops this was long. But haven't sent an ask in a while, so hello!

(Also sidenote, I hope I sent this ask to the right person because adhd short fries my memory and I've spent a while writing.)

Hello! Hello! Hello! Congrats on graduating, that's epic, sounds like you're doing well!

And yes all the Tommy content was lovely. I greatly enjoyed all the streams, it was such a pleasure watching them all in a row. Plus that's gonna be one of my favourite mod vids I think. It started off slow but by the end it was brilliantly tense without losing its charm. The Brighton stuff looks very cool! I loo forward to any content from it.

So yeah, Tommy's way of addressing the drama was so nice. I've now seen a number of other creators talking about the drama and all of them pretty much stated the situation was ridiculous, how terrible it was for Tommy, calling out the community. Tommy meanwhile, actually engaged with it, explaining that therapy was just a good thing he recommended, not something he'd been pressured into, nor was he a victim because of it. It wasn't meant to be some defence or buzzword that came as a result of being overwhelmed. He later explains that while he is a friend of Schlatt's he doesn't agree with all of his past actions, nor support any of his offensive jokes. I think he mentioned that he doesn't want to make light of it again, though I don't recall exactly. Either way, he did apologise for causing offense and explained that he was doing fine for those worried. I'm glad he's still happy to try and be open and genuine and is trying.

Also yes, I adore everything about Wilbur and Tommy's relationship. Whether its them hanging out or doing content together. They're my favourite duo to watch, and I love all their bits too.

Ha this was a long ask, but it was fun to read so cheers!

[writing-for-me-at-this-point]

ii. Fun Facts About The Cast | Actor Au | Obey Me

Request: Its not, I love this AU tho

Word Count: 2303 words

Page Count: 6.5 pages

A.N. Hope you guys all like this! Fun facts about the cast lmao

[ Actor AU Masterlist ]

Fun Facts

Benjamin ( Lucifer )

- Is the dad of the cast.

- In any scenes with Dmitri ( Luke ), he makes sure to know if he is alright, and often will stop scenes to ask.

- He also is an overall joker, so he has trouble filming most of his scenes, will often start laughing in the middle of filming and can break character the easiest.

- Best with kids overall, probably due to having his own, keeps their lives private tho.

- His hair was white for a past show, but the directors liked the look, so that's why he has white tips.

- One of the few male characters who cannot do those diets to accentuate his abs- so that's why his character is always covered up.

- He's in shape! But, he likes the fat that protects his muscle, he says he needs to stay soft to hug his kids.

- Known diabetic, so there's a table full of foods so his sugars are stable, the cast has glucagon shots all over the sets to be safe.

- Is in his early thirties, but people say he can pull off early twenties- he just snorts at this.

Avery ( Mammon ) 

- Takes the job seriously, and his scenes are easiest to film.

- Dark humor and often is the "Lucifer" of the cast.

- Seeing him switch from Avery to Mammon leaves the rest of the cast and crew fucking s h o o k.

- Will always be seen looking his finest.

- No, no one has seen him in public in sweatpants or anything like that. His image is very serious.

- Is a sweetheart when with the rest of the cast tho.

- His eyes are actually that blue.

- No one is sure if his hair is actually white or not, the way he speaks about it is vague, and fans are always theorizing.

- Watching over Benji ( Lucifer ), and is usually the one to tell him to check his sugars, since the other is quite forgetful.

- Is an immigrant from Turkey, so he has an accent, makes people thirst for him more.

- Helps aspiring actors and directors get into the field, and goes on hard work and talent, not who tries to pay him off.

Jackson ( Leviathan )

- Is the resident fuckboi.

- Always with males and females hanging off him, at this point the pop gave up, no- they aren't his partner.

- Flexes a shit ton.

- Wearing chains, a Rolex, and anything designer.

- Donates half of his salary to ocean reserves and protection funds, he has the money for it, and the show pays him well.

- Always at the beach, or near lake houses and shit, the one ( 1 ) thing he likes about his character.

- Hates the fringe he wears with a passion.

- His hair is actually a light shade of brown, his eyes are a darker shade, but still pretty light.

- First generation, his parents are Korean, so you can pick up hints of their accent in his speech patterns. Gets heavy when he's sleepy. 

Ross ( Satan )

- Is a stoner.

- Goes on Instagram lives with either MC and gets high, talking about the dumbest shit or he's alone in his room and his cats join in.

- "So, if you think about- oH MY GOD PRINCESS. YES, COME TO DADDY."

- Has a kitten curled up on him, purrs loud as hell because mf is so warm, and the lives turn into purring ASMR sessions.

- Into self care, has a line of vitamins, face masks, and everything you can think of.

- Calls his fans his SaStans.

- Dmitri ( Luke ) is his younger brother.

- Will never let him out of his sight, and they love to be as mean as they can to each other, they love each other but love to bully one another.

- Is from the Bronx, so his accent is what Avery ( Mammon ) mimics for his character, often just records Avery's lines and sends them to him so he can practice.

- Owns an animal shelter he funds.

- "Carol Baskin? Who's that?"

- The REAL tiger king.

- Gets all his cats dyed to look like tigers.

Micheal ( Asmodeus )

- Chill as fuck.

- Has like 5+ kids, so the role fits him perfectly, and now it's an on running joke among fans that they are all his illegitimate children.

- You know why Asmodeus on the show wears so much makeup? 

- His eldest daughter is one of the makeup artists, and she loves to try new looks on him, and the producers think it would fit the character well.

- People speculate his age, looks young but is in his late 30's.

- His first child was born when he was 16, so he likes to support safe heavens and things like that for struggling youths- from being kicked out to needing assistance with mental health.

- Tired af.

- Always in sweatpants, him and Ross ( Satan ) are the trademark bums of the cast.

- Thinks it would be hilarious that when Micheal is revealed, in the show, that he plays the character.

- Is a writer as well, TSL is a real series and he writes it, so they let him use it in the show.

- Vlogs in his car, in a Wendy's parking lot, eating a shit ton of food and talking about the most random shit.

- Half asleep in all interviews, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, it's gotten to the point where everyone memes it too.

James ( Beelzebub )

- Himbo.

- One of the few cast members closest to their character.

- Absolute sweetheart.

- He's 20 years old.

- But how is he so fucking big???

- Comes from a big ass family, the middle child, he's baby 4 out of 9.

- All his siblings are redheads too.

- Very playful tho, with the cast always going along with his antics, making for the best bloopers.

- The contacts he wears make him blind af, which doesn't help since he's so tall, and will bump his head on the doorways and such.

- Can speak Scottish-Gaelic, and even has an accent to top it off.

- He is an absolute unit, and one of the characters who does the stupid diet to show off his form.

- Literally on the verge of passing out sometimes, so he needs to rest with Benjamin ( Lucifer ).

- All pictures, shirtless scenes, and such are filmed first so he can rest after and go back to a normal diet.

- Quiet guy, but loves talking about sports and his siblings tho.

- Is always carrying MC and Dmitri ( Luke ) around, now there are many off-guard photos posted to the casts shared twitter+instagram accounts

- Still pretty new to acting, but is amazing at emotional scenes, to the point fans actually think he's having a breakdown.

- Nah, he's just thinking about being alone, without his family- and it gets him bawling for said scenes.

Conner ( Belphegor )

- Crackhead 

- Will not stay still, either for filming or just when everyone is chilling.

- Scenes where he's asleep? He's usually turned away from the camera, cause the idiot is smiling and giggling.

- Has tripped over his tail multiple times.

- Comes from a farm-life, literal cowboy, his southern accent just hits hard.

- He hides it very well, but it comes out at times or with certain words.

- Sees Benjamin ( Lucifer ) as a mentor, he's in his early twenties and new to the scene, but they are best friends.

- Benjamin ( Lucifer ) has now acquired a new child.

- A living meme.

- You know how Tom Holland can't keep a secret?

- Yeah, he's worse.

- Rest of the cast have all had to physically stop him from talking at one point.

- The cow pillow? It's actually his, when he got the role his father has sewn it himself, so he will bring it with him.

- It's basically free promo for the show and comforts him in the city space.

- Gets overwhelmed in large crowds, so he usually makes sure to have another cast member close by, or he will literally leave to a less crowded place to take a breath.

- Apologized to MC after the scene in which he kills them.

- His mama raised him right, so he takes MC to his house for a movie, in which they cuddle and relax for the night.

- Felt really bad for like... a whole week.

- "Country boy I love you~"

Thomas ( Barbatos )

- Brat.

- This is one cocky man, he's smooth as hell, and one whisper can make you weak in the knees.

- Grew out the one side of his hair, but he slicks his hair back or will pin it back, dyes it himself when it's time to film.

- Loves to piss Alex ( Simeon ) off.

- Has a true crime podcast with Roman ( Diavolo ), Alex ( Simeon ), and Benjamin ( Lucifer ), because they're all old friends.

- Donates to the cold case foundation because he knows what it's like to lose someone and not know what happened to them.

- He has a twin who is his stunt double, they love to fuck with the rest of the cast, both of them are little shits.

- Is the motherfucker who makes a channel and reads the crackhead fanfics

- Loves every word of it tho.

- Responds to every fans dms. Every. One. As a whole account for this shit.

- Walks with a bit of a limp, so he wears a brace to help even himself, but during wide-shot scenes you can catch it sometimes.

- Took actual classes to be a butler for the role.

Roman ( Diavolo )

- Himbo 2.0

- Catch this man tweeting what he's trying to search up at 2 in the morning.

- Leaves them because it's hilarious, makes videos where he reads them out sometimes, it's all in good fun.

- He has a set of triplets at home, so that dad energy radiates into the show too.

- You know how Diavolo seems sus at points of the game? Yeah, he's still like that IRL.

- The rest of the cast was put off at first, but that's how he is, and everyone eased up pretty quickly.

- Makes jokes that he has family in the Italian mob, but needed to stop once his father called him, saying that there were too many eyes on the family now.

- Man was s h o o k.

- Has sensitive skin, so all his makeup and body paints need to be specially made, made with all natural products.

- The bags under his eyes are baby bags.

- Will bring his kids on set, to which everyone will gush over, and watch them when they aren't filming.

- Very private with his kids ( to the public ), doesn't post about them much, and only the cast really sees them.

- Wine dad.

- Catch him bringing the whole cast out for "family trips"

- People nicknamed him Caesar

- So many JoJo references now

- "SHHHHIIIIIZZZAAAAAAAA"

- "Please, no."

Dmitri ( Luke )

- Is actually 12.

- Quotes vines, tiktoks, and other memes.

- Is one of the few people that Alex ( Simeon ) is openly nice too.

- Also has an accent, but since he's young and is learning, can now mimic every other cast member's accent.

- Wear earplugs for certain scenes, because of how raunchy and dark the scenes can get, so Simeon and Barbatos are always conveniently in the way, hiding the plugs.

- Is Ross' ( Satan ) younger brother, and if he isn't hanging off of him he's with James ( Beelzebub ), Benjamin ( Lucifer ), or MC.

- They know there are some sick fucks in Hollywood so he has an adult with him at all times.

- Posts pictures of him cuddling up to his brother and the kittens, new foods he is trying, and some pictures with family.

- He often is considered the new Gordon Ramsay.

- Had a collaboration with him.

- It was amazing.

- Best boy, catch him taking a nap in his ( and Ross' ) trailer, surrounded by tiger kittens.

- The TIGER PRINCE.

Alex ( Simeon )

- Avatar of wrath who?

- The embodiment of "No talk me, I angy"

- Jkjk, though he does have a temper, he only loses it with Benjamin ( Lucifer ), Roman ( Diavolo ), and Thomas ( Barbatos ).

- A sweetheart with all children though, like you know Simeon on the show? 

- Yeah, he's only like that with kids.

- And respectable adults.

- Mama raised him well 2.0

- Grew up in NY

- Born in Gucci and Balenciaga.

- Was a child model and slowly expanded to acting.

- Dark humor galore.

- If Simeon met Alex, he'd probably have a stroke, cause THOSE WORDS are coming out of HIS mouth.

- Says the weirdest shit too.

- "Put your hand on my ass and call me a virgin."

- Bro are you okay???

- He is fluent in five languages and has a high IQ.

- Speaks: English, French, Italian, Arabic, and Mandarin

- Has a support system for children who struggle to learn conventionally, with trained tutors who are affordable, he knows what it's like to need certain needs met to learn, and he wants every kid to get that chance.

- Rough around the edges but has a heart of gold.

Derek ( Solomon )

- Loves to smoke with Ross ( Satan )

- He is more aloof than chill.

- One of the more awkward members, doesn't know how to socialize well, and is very shy.

- Watch out for Dmitri ( Luke ) on the down low.

- Didn't have the best life growing up, so he is a lot more street smart than book smart.

- Doesn't have a big social media influence.

- Very nice to fans, gives full hugs to them, and everyone feels so appreciated.

- Has a husky named Blue.

- Also has an owl, who he took in when he found it on his porch with a broken wing, and nursed it to health.

- He set it free, but she comes back often, and has a nest in the tree closest to his house.

- Named her Lovely.

- Animal person, so he helps Ross out with his animal shelters.

- Uses Blue as a living pillow, and only sleeps in his boxers when Blue is on his bed, because goddamn does that dog radiate heat.

- Him and MC live together, having grown up together, and made their livings together. 

[tina-snow]

tumblr tag game

tagged by @cindysmoon ty brina ily <3

questions/answers below the cut

1. Why did you choose your url? i love lil nas x what can i say

2. Any side blogs? yup @ari-lennox my personal poc sideblog plus @randall-park (poc source blog) and @creatorsofcolornet (network for poc! join us xoxo)

3. How long have you been on tumblr? i first joined back in 2012 but i left around 2015/2016 and then came back december 2020 god knows why

4. Do you have a queue tag? #q i’m too lazy to type more out lmao

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? one of my friends convinced me to make an acct now i’m stuck here ig, i came back last year cause of the palomino and i wanted to try creating stuff

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? i’m the irl america chavez .

7. Why did you choose your header? i was making a set of monica rambeau and i rlly like the coloring so i made it into a header too <3

8. What’s your post with the most notes? i made a texas resources masterpost back in february when the weather crisis happened but as far as like edits it’s this lil nas x set

9. How many mutuals do you have? lil over 200

10. How many followers do you have? none it’s just me here shouting into the void

11. How many people do you follow? 400 rn but i just made this post abt looking for more blogs to follow!

12. Have you ever made a shit post? that’s my whole blog wym

13. How often do you use tumblr a day? not that much lately bc i’m taking a summer class rn, i mostly come on here to check my tag and queue stuff whoops

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog? yeah i directly called out tori @lizzo for being racist lmfao. she still digging her own grave i’ve been told, hope she deactivates soon (:

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? depends what the content of the post is i guess

16. Do you like tag games? yeah they’re fun! i keep forgetting abt them but i do like doing them <3 so tag me besties

17. Do you like ask games? yesss i love them send me asks <3

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? tumblr... famous...

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? yes all

idk who all’s been tagged already but tagging:

@anakinpadme @sashafierce @genyasafins @marcspctor @pietro-maximoff @bouchards @sith-maul @kazbrakkar @milcsmorales @benoitblanc @rockyblue @jackarthurdavenport @laufeysons-lokis @darksber @e-zra @anakinskyiwalker

[serenedash]

I started rambling about my experience with kh and then it turned into khux and then it just turned into me rambling about Ryou and my art journey????? enjoy I guess,

it’s very long but there’s art in there :)

It’s funny to think about my kh journey as a whole tbh, I grew up watching my mom play video games, which included kh1 and 2. I wasn’t allowed to play the playstation2 we owned BUT I did have a gameboy so the first game I played was CoM (after my mom finished it ofc,) so I guess you could say I’ve always been passionate about kh “””side games””” lmao but I did fall off of kh very quickly bc again, I wasn’t allowed to play our PS2 and also I Am A Terrible Gamer I’ve Never Finished CoM I’m sorry you all had to find out like this, but then 358/2 came out when I was in middle school and!!! I didn’t care and I didn’t play idk why lol

Anyway, fast forward to high school I’m like 15 and my older sister, who HAS been keeping up with kh, has a wallpaper on her phone of roxas and ventus. And bc I haven’t kept up I say “nice roxas wallpaper” and she says “thanks but it’s roxas and ventus” and I proceeded to get so mad that I was determined to prove to her that her wallpaper was just roxas twice and then I fell down the BBS rabbit hole and suddenly I was reading about vanitas and then I’m reading the fan translations of the BBS novel and I’m crying??? I am sobbing???? and that’s how I actually got into kh for real lol we are vanitas stans before we are people,

It’s so funny how I thought I was some kh super fan, knowing all this stuff that I spent so long reading and rewatching cutscene movies, but I never once, SOMEHOW NEVER ever came across khx. It’s so absurd and bizarre I seriously have no idea how I never once encountered khx prior to khux. I suppose that has to do with the fact I wasn’t involved in the fandom? In early high school I had stepped away from fandoms as a whole and I didn’t have any interest in really posting content or interacting with fans anymore bc of how burnt out I was from a previous fandom,

but khux released! and I was so hype and excited for it! on launch day I was a senior in high school, I had ran around to every “nerd” and weeb I could find in school to ask them to join my party and fun fact about me is I have crippling social anxiety I literally refuse to start conversations irl so holy shit I was OUT HERE doing the MOST

My player just originally had my name (Matt) but everyone in my party had fun names so Ryou was born! High school was one big yugioh phase for me and ryou bakura is one of my favorite characters ever so it was just the logical name choice lol I quickly started creating Ryou, the character, as well. I was also leaving my homestuck phase and that + vanitas obsession made This character design (art circa 2016)

If y’all are familiar with my kh oc’s you might notice that keyblade now belongs to my kid Monty LOL

Anyway that got scrapped quickly for the chip and dale outfit (which is where Ryou’s trademark goggles are from <3) Goggles have been a staple of my character designs for a LONG TIME so like, it had to be done, (that’s a separate ramble about a separate oc tho)

OG Ryou was an interesting guy; he was a young party leader with this overwhelming responsibility on his shoulders bc of his status as a party leader. In his original story, he also struggled heavily with darkness, much like Terra but for Ryou it was more that the darkness was controlling him and not like a source of power like it was for Terra

A big part of early Ryou I kept, however, was the crushing awareness of loss. One of my party members (the strongest one at the time,) had left without saying a word and I was very confused and hurt. This was around the time the ephemera plot was happening so I decided to incorporate it into Ryou’s story; having him experience losing a friend to darkness since it’s so normal for wielders in Daybreak Town to just disappear, and this would unintentionally become a theme for both me and Ryou as khux friends would just randomly disappear.

I was desperate for khux at this point and I decided to watch the fan translations for khx and GOD, god, was I obsessed. I couldn’t stop thinking about the foretellers. And I’m not going off about that here bc I already did that, but I actually started entering fandom again! I did it slowly, I started on tumblr before this blog was made altho it was me sending anons to the few khux related blogs I could have lol a friend convinced me to get twitter where I got involved with the ffxv fandom, which led me to the kh fandom and eventually the khux fandom there which is what REALLY got me going on khux.

I joined discord servers, most of the servers I’m in are khux related, and from there I joined the khux oc rp (shout out to anyone there who might be reading this lol here’s some art from the beginning of the rp,)

It’s SO FUNNY how the RP influenced me so heavily. I hadn’t RP’d in YEARS, I used to have a strict no oc rp policy, but here I was? And the funny part is, I had barely developed Ryou. I had scrapped his original story and all I had was POST WAR Ryou so I literally had to reverse write him; I had only ever written him as a depressed, guilt ridden adult, but it was a fucking blast and I have such fond memories of this rp when it was active,

But anyway, this encouraged me to get more serious about art! I started drawing, writing, cosplaying, and roleplaying when I hadn’t done any of that stuff in a very long time. The first time I ever drew a background was for a deviant art khux competition actually LOL

also! I always think extremely fondly of the drawing I did of Aced in the keyblade war. It was also one of the first backgrounds I ever drew and it felt like my real starting point in the khux fandom. It got a ton of notes on here and someone wrote a tiny fic in a reblog which just made me SO HAPPY like it really felt like people were noticing me :) I was going to draw a matching Ira but!! I just never did!! One day tho, it’s on my art bucket list to redraw this along with Ira,

Aside from my personal growth, khux was great for my social life ngl, I made SO MANY friends online and got to meet a ton of people irl over the years! It’s crazy to think about all the people I now know and talk to? It honestly makes me really emotional. I’ll never forget taking the train into NYC and meeting up with discord friends. Going to conventions and talking with people about the latest khux update? Absolutely insane and those were some GOOD TIMES, if I thanked every khux friend or even just person who made an impact on me then we’d be here for a LONG TIME,

Fun fact, for my Lauriam cosplay all I needed to buy was the wig I just owned his outfit LOL also? Probably retiring that cosplay ngl people treated me like absolute garbage when I wore him and it led to a lot of confidence issues for awhile ngl. That’s probably one of the only memorable negative experiences I have with khux; it was great when khux people recognized me but for kh fans that weren’t in khux? They were FUCKING MEAN??? fuck kh fandom at large, I only care about khux fandom,

This leads me to another huge part of my experience in khux fandom: THEORIES!! I used to write SO MANY and oh my god my brain was so full all the time. It was a huge appeal for me in the fandom; I had been previously writing theory posts in the RWBY fandom and it just migrated over to khux for me lol I had done a ton of theorizing around Lauriam tbh, it was really the only reason I liked his character at all bc initially I did not care about the dandelions, anyone who wasn’t Skuld I was like “please leave Now thanks”

A funny part of khux fandom I never intended to be apart of is the MEMES, I really only started doing memes as stress relief bc college had me so busy all I had time/energy for was these quick little shit post drawings.

The first meme I made, file name “invi despair” LOL we need to get her a girlfriend smh anyway, I think in my senior year of college I did a bunch of rapid fire memes all in one month bc the stress of finals was getting so bad afdgfhdgf as far as I know my impact on this fandom will be my memes bc all I do now is enter a kh/khux server and introduce myself and I go “yeah I draw art. here’s a meme” and everyone goes OH YOU, honestly I am nothing if not a clown

I’ve talked so much idk where I’m going with this. Khux is just a good game even if the gameplay actually kind of really sucks yknow lol but it was the first game I played where I like, REALLY got into the meta and the mechanics. I used to read so much on the mechanics and watch youtube videos on which medals were worth pulling for. I was never a whale or a top player exactly, but I could rank well if I tried lol I’ve made it to the top 100 for solo rankings, my party has made it to top 10, and in pvp I’ve made top 300. I’m not the highest level in my party but FUCK do I know how to manipulate this game LOL

And with all that hard work, the strategies, the theorizing, the content I’ve made-- it’s been my life for 5 years. I’ve logged into khux almost every single day. At the end, I have logged 1820 days in khux out of 1910 days. Kinda crazy. Crazier I’ve never spent money on khux either lol the only “money” gone into it was one time my mom gave me a google play store gift card and I used it on my birthday for a VIP xemnas medal which eventually made it to regular pulls anyway but it was nice and a little treat :)

I’m not a gacha fan, I don’t care for it, so I don’t think I’ll be touching another gacha again. But for kh? This was pretty fucking awesome, even if it sucked a lot sometimes LOL It was worth it for the people I’ve met most of all I think. I would honestly be a completely different person without khux and that’s REALLY insane to think about.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know the wildest thing still to happen to me on this hellsite was my first experience of sexting, sans nudes, that was done in front of at least 250-500 followers because of those horny anons i had in early 2013 when i was 17. instead of being exposed to it on my phone privately with a partner at that age, it was done publicly for the internet to see lmao. i remember begging the anons to stop and “come off anon” because i was “losing followers” at the time too bc i was so insecure about my follower count lmao. and then yeah when they came off anon they were both 28 years old.

to write the responses, i just consulted cosmo mag sex pages for ideas hoping that the anons would like the options i chose. in one i detailed doing anal- a sex act i hadn’t even done yet irl- let alone every other thing i suggested in them (head, idek long, drawn out foreplay, some stupid fancy sex moves that cosmo was all like “use these moves to spice up your sex life 🔥🔥”, sex in a bath, i’m pretty sure i had some lines about tying or handcuffing them to a bed (????) etc etc etc)….

when again, i had never even done any of those above sex acts in real life. i was a naive teen who was incredibly shy in regards towards her love life because she’d “never been kissed” and had never had the “hot emo boyfriend whose in a band and is covered in tattoos” she’d always wanted, let alone even a boyfriend that she had actually fucking liked (ie clear braces boy, for like a month in year 9/2010 vs the popular boys that made fun of her, that she always had unrequited crushes on)…. hell, my blog title when i first started on here in 2011 was “the perfect epitome of being forever alone” because of these very reasons. but here she was, writing explicit sex acts to strangers like she knew what the fuck she was doing, to an audience of 250-500 people- and then to fucking grown ass men in inboxes. i was just parroting the shit i’d read in cosmo (both sex advice and sometimes excerpts of erotica/“sexy, steamy reads” they had some months) and also heard repeatedly in the porn that my high school stalker/creeper at public school loved to show (harass) me with to flirt with me, whenever we were alone together at school in 2012/2013.

like you could tell how naive i was….. because i used ridiculous lines like “like a gentleman entranced, you lead me to the bath for our next foray” and dumbass prose-y things like that. because what the fuck does that even mean 😂😅????

and this is why i think minors should be careful with their online experiences. like yeah, you could say that i wasn’t a minor anymore- more of a “young adult”- who should of made the smart decision to not engage with these anons. but i was a kid. i thought it was fun. and when the dudes came off anon, i thought to myself “it’s not like i’m ever gonna meet them if i ever go to the US or puerto rico at any point. it’s not like that they’ll ever recognise me in person or ever reach out to me again in the future. i might as well do it.” and i did eventually end up ignoring the guys in my inbox, due to my mental health kinda plummeting from the middle til the end of 2013 because of my end of high school exams and stuff… and also the puerto rican guy’s infamously inappropriate “hot PE teacher fucks HOT female high school student in the girls change room showers” fantasy which fucking disgusted me, when he full well knew that i was STILL IN high school.

and obviously again, there’s the point about using the “block” button function. but as i’ve stated several times over my years on here, back in my early days of tumblr, i never wanted to block or unfollow people (even if they were trash like these two men), because it seemed so “mean” and “final”. obvs now i have no qualms about blocking people, and actively encourage younger people on here to use the block button with reckless abandon towards creepy people or people who can hurt them in some way. but to high school teenage me, the whole “using the block button” thing seemed to go against me being a “nice girl/person” so i never used it, no matter which social media platform i was on.

this is why i’m hella scared for young teen girls on tik tok wanting to have onlyfans accounts: because it’s where they’ll be exposed to ACTUAL CREEPS AND PREDATORS incredibly quickly; all because they can make money off selling images of just their feet or eventually their body….. depending on what these creepy strangers demand from them….. and they’ll feel like they’ll have to do it…. but to do it before you even start experimenting properly with relationships and sex is even worse. like. yeah. i’ve admitted before that i originally started this tumblr to possibly post nudes, to see if i’d get the positive feedback that i so desperately wanted/craved from the boys in my year at catholic school- eg. to be called “sexy”, “hot”, “fuckable” possibly “beautiful”- like some of the so called “popular girls” got on their hella basic bikini photos back then (like i remember one girl i knew ended up with like 500 likes and a fair amount of comments on one of her bikini pics and i was INCREDIBLY BITTER because not even a pic of me with a nice outfit on, my hair done and makeup on could EVER get those numbers, let alone even break over the double digits).

but i decided posting nudes or other explicit images on here was an absolute no go, because i realised that i never wanted people that i knew digging up barely clothed/naked pics of me and sending them to me all like “hey, is this you?” and then possibly mocking me, all because i would’ve been dumb enough to put my face in them probably at the time. now when i take nudes and send them, i never show my face. because i know now, that even in relationships, your partner can use nude pics as leverage for arguments or to abuse you in such a way that they’ll upload your pics without your knowledge to god knows where on the internet probably as a way to get back at you in a horrible breakup.

this is what i sincerely hope some young girls who ever contemplate starting onlyfans accounts take some time SERIOUSLY CONSIDER. please know that if you share shit on onlyfans, it can shared and re-shared (i think idek how OF works tbh) to god knows who- and eventually end up in the hands of people you know. i don’t fucking care if it’s a “good way to make money!” or if people think that im trying to stop teen girls from being “girl bosses” and the other dumb as fuck internet memes you want to throw at me. because this shit isn’t “haha internet meme funny” material. it’s some fucking serious stuff. and also, i’m not saying “don’t become a sex worker when you’re older” or whatever either. you’re free to make that choice when you’re in your 20s (no i even mean 17-19 year olds in this post as “young teen girls”- sorry you’re basically kids to me at almost 26). just please consider where the fuck your stuff can be shared to. who it can end up being shared with or to.

this is why i was so fucking adamant with my infamous old follower mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF that i personally would NOT consider becoming a camgirl for him or just generally… because i had no idea where the fuck my images or videos would end up. and do you know the places i’d never want them to fucking be??? in the hands of my high school stalker/creeper. in the hands of those two 28yo men from 2013 (who’d now be in there late 30s or early 40s). i absolutely don’t want them in the hands the mid-to-late 20s and early 30s men that that girl i met at public school in 2012 who was pissed that i didn’t believe that were “adults” because we were finally over the legal age of consent (16) in our state of australia, and so we were apparently fine to “fuck” literal grown ass men because “just fuck them and they’ll be nice to you!!” which i knew was fucking bullshit.

i absolutely don’t fucking want explicit videos/images of me ending up in “why the fuck won’t you let me give you “sex lessons” in the back of my car as a “favour” and as payment for teaching you how to drive you stupid, stuck up & frigid, virgin bitch!?” guy’s hands from 2014 (when i was 18/19 at the time and he was 25… he ended up being the first person of many i’d EVER block on social media lol). or i don't want them in the hands of those weird early 20s dudes (one of which was trying to set me up with his friend) who hit on me at 16/17 (2012) who were angry that i didn’t like and watch porn as much as they did…. and who promptly asked me at the end of their period of harassing of me: “do you know any sluts we could add?” because i kept refusing their suggestions etc.

hell, quite frankly i don’t even want them to go to mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF either, but the very few and far between nudes that i sent on snapchat to him back in 2016 are some nudes that i’d rather forget lmao. hell. i don’t even know if MAF ever deleted my nudes or shared them somewhere else or not, after he fucking wheedled them out of me with “i’ve followed you for 4 years, don’t be a shit! you owe me nudes!” so he’d just shut the fuck up about my social life decisions and leave me the fuck alone.

i don’t want ANY ONE of the guys i mentioned above to get their hands on photos of minors either…. because i definitely know my hs stalker/creeper would… because his fave “make her jealous” tactic that he’s always used on me is that “hey…. i’m dating a *insert teenage girl’s age here*! be fucking jealous that you don’t fucking have me and feel guilty that you won’t fuck me like this girl does!!!” just like he did in 2015, when i ran into him on the home from uni… when i turned 20 the next week and he turned 20 that december. at that time it was a 14yo girl he used as an example of him “dating”/“fucking” to make me jealous. instead, i was completely and utterly fucking disgusted. like any fucking sane and normal human being would/should be at that horrible age gap. that is literally a fucking child that he was fucking grooming. and we were literal adults. back the fuck away.

just please. PLEASE CONSIDER the types of people that trawl these kinds of sites and their intentions. please consider that you are young. very fucking young. you literally DO NOT need to upload nudes to the internet because it’s apparently a “lucrative” business. fuck the jokey “boss babe” rhetoric around it all the way to fucking hell.

because if you’re a minor: i do not want you to have your first experience of sexting or sending explicit images literally in front of god knows how many total strangers for the whole world to see (okay i know only fans is like subscriber/follower based or whatever. but i don’t care)…… even when you (depending how good you are with relationships etc) haven’t reached the common supposed milestones of your “first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” or “first kiss” or have even “lost your virginity” (which isn’t real anyway- don’t buy this fucking bullshit)…. just like i stupidly did with my exposure to sexting here on my tumblr back in 2013. these people don’t/won’t give a flying fuck about your privacy or safety. they don’t/won’t give a fuck about your boundaries either.

please don’t possibly scar yourself for life, just because you’re being told that it’s a quick & convenient way to make some money for weirdos on the depths of the internet. you will regret it in future. just like i do now with mine. it should’ve been something personal between me and and a guy i trusted and liked at the time. not to some random 250-500 random strangers on this hellsite (okay the notes on these posts were literally single digits or non-existent, but still… and also some of my irl friends who had tumblr saw these posts as well) for a show….. and then privately with two 28yo literal grown ass men…. who should’ve been fucking hitting on women their own goddamned age and in their own countries and NOT a 17yo high school KID (at the time) from australia; who, now in her 20s, needs therapy to sort this shit out lmao. mind you they both reeled me in with the “you’re so mature for your age” bullshit line…. which i fell for a little bit, even if it did make me feel kinda gross at the time, too. don’t fall for that bullshit either.

[veralovemail]

Hi! I would love myself a matchup if it's ok 👉👈

I'm female and pan, I'd prefer one of the males tho, Survivors please!

So uhhhh I differ in my personality a lot depending on the situation! I'm more of a loner around strangers IRL— shy, quiet, I don't like interacting and prefer to stay by the sidelines since being in the middle makes me uncomfy.

I try to be as polite as I can, even keeping in my opinions and pain a lot as to not Hurt anyone. I also tend to blame myself a lot for bad situations I'm a part in unless I know I absolutely didn't do anything!

Also I'm quite hot headed and have a bad temper, though I'm working on it! I have quite the problem with guilt and it comes to me fairly quickly when I do something bad.

Ah yeah I'm really forgetful and also really impatient KNRKS

Now- online!!

I'm a lot more open and chaotic. I like to tease my friends and jokingly make fun of them, etc. I try and stop when they tell me to, but I might understand it as them just joking too if they write it that way in my eyes-

I try to look on the positive side for them and their situations and am always willing to make someone happy even without words since it makes me happy too. I'd say I'm caring to a fault- I don't let loose until they finally do something healthy that they've been avoiding and I do get rather angry if I'm not taken seriously with that, causing me to maybe lash out at someone unwillingly,,- and then guilt pops in like "hi there 😍" KDHDJDJ

Anyway,

I encourage anyone to vent, though I'm not the best at giving advice. I'm more of a person who likes to listen and give support if they need it. Oh yeah- my attention span is REALLY short (as short as me good ol' 5'1 me aNENSJJSJD) so I get distracted pretty easily and procrastinate then.

As for hobbies: I love to draw! (As you might know-)Music is my life (especially Jazz) and video games are, too. Though mostly singleplayer Games since I only really like multiplayer with friends-

What else can I write..

Maybe like- I'm an ISFP-T And I think it was 5w6 that I was given by another test

I also got Philophobia, the fear of falling in love because of bad experiences but I'm tryna work on it!!

I guess I can also write about my appearance? I've got short, curly but chaotic black hair that's p much swept to the side- I'm definitely not that skinny lmao- and as I've said before, I'm 5'1! I usually wear casual clothes (hoodies, e.g!! They're so comfy...) I also got brown eyes and glasses!

I think that should be it.. ah yeah! In your introduction, you should prolly add your ID for others to add you because name search doesn't work! :0

Ok that's really it now- take your time, don't rush yourself and stay safe and hydrated!! 💕💕 Hope your blog takes off!

Sorry for my English by the way- I'm German so I might've messed up on a few things!

OH MY LORD I DID NOT KNOW THAT I HAD TO PUT IN MY ID... oml... thank u for telling me that. and don't worry about it, i can see how it'd be difficult (i actually studied german for my gcses :], it was very fun) but anyways! tysm for sending in btw!! i loved writing this, i hope u enjoy - mod vera ♡

i match you with ... naib subedar!

he kinda takes on to your quiet personality, unlike some of the other people around the manor. it's relaxing to be around somebody who doesn't talk much.

you two most likely met when robbie came over to the survivors' side of the mansion, jokingly demanding sweets... but it most likely sounded authentic. and oh god, is that an axe-

you two accidentally locked eyes but you both had a " ah shit, here we go again " face. it just kinda went from there.

at first, he's a tough nut to crack, but if you try hard enough, within a month or so you gain his trust and he .. deems you a friend?

you both kinda start falling for eachother after a period of time, but naib is great at hiding it BUT SIKE, so are you! it's like a game of who can pine for the other in the most subtle way possible.

however, if you tell him about your own troubles with falling in love, he may just open up a little too about his own troubles.

it's takes a while for you two to build a relationship, but eventually (after a lot of rescues, late night hangouts and just being near eachother) you make it!

when he learns about your more chaotic side, naib tries to keep up with you as best he can, he may just need a little tug to do so.

he loves your smile, especially the one you have when you're talking about your passions.

he also tries to help with your temper, but he's just as bad as you are.

however, he's there whenever you have a bad day - he can almost instantly tell, even if you try keep it to yourself. it could be the way you look at him, try to smile or talk, he does notice the change in your aura.

since your shorter than him, he likes holding you. it makes him feel like he's just protecting you from anything and anything, especially on one of your bad days.

he likes your optimism, looking on the good side of every situation. he once saw you trying to comfort robbie when he started crying about not finding any sweets around and you told him "look on a brightside robbie! now we know for next time to stash some away for you before we eat it all!" AND OH GOD, IS THAT AN AXE?

naib gets frequent nightmares about his time being a hired merc, so sometimes you may get woken up at 3 am because he's a bit distressed and needs a bit of comfort.

other times, he just finds holding you while you're fast asleep enough to put him back in a coma for the next 2 hours.

naib also encourages you to talk to him about stuff. whether it be what made you mad, how much of a bitch vera can be, ect. he's there for you and that man is never gonna let you carry your burdens alone.

saying that, you also have to remind him that he can't carry his own burdens sometimes and when you encourage him to talk to you about what's upsetting him, he'll most likely tell, depending on how bad it is.

he also grounds you a lot!! if you tell him about your forgetfulness, he's most likely going to try and remind you.

" hey, [ name ], you did bring [ item ] into the match, right? "

" um... "

" goddamnit [ name ], i thought i reminded you "

naib takes it upon himself to rescue you, or keep you within his general vicinity if you're in a match with him. he does know you can kite very well though! he just wants you near him for a bit of reassurance.

he can be mean sometimes, but he means it in the most endearing way possible since most of it is sarcasm.

you two kinda have " stab as a warning " vibes so nobody really opposes the two of you. even norton. not even freddy dares to oppose you because the last time he did, aesop almost had to prepare his equipment to embalm the poor fella.

when you lash out at someone, naib is there almost immediately to take you away to calm down and comfort you when your guilt kicks the door down and goes " Hey girlie! Hold still 😎 "

sometimes you have to do the same for him because you both have a tendency to lash out.. but.. never at eachother? you two kinda agree on the same things, there isn't much to exactly disagree on.

please draw him!! watch him while he's training in the garden and draw him, or just a few silly doodles of him.

he likes looking at your drawings, it kinds boosts his ego knowing that he's worthy enough to be drawn.

if he finds out that you like music, he'll tell you about nepalese music, or at least what he knew of it - if you both get engrossed in it, he may try and get you some records to play.

teach him how to dance, if you can. it'd make listening to music together way more fun.

he's very content with you!! he likes kissing you out of nowhere, too. you could just be chilling and naib would come up to you, turn you around and give you a smooch outta nowhere. but only in private.

i feel like neither of you would be big on pda, you just stick to holding hands around the manor.

if this were in a modern setting, you two could probably play a game like phasmaphobia together just for funsies.

all in all, your relationship with naib is mutually beneficial and robbie has learned to never ask for sweets again.

i hope you enjoy this <3 it's my first time writing naib too so i apologise if it's not very good </3

[edengarden]

Hiiii!!! I'd like to request a regular matchup pls 😌 (idk of I can request one or two shows at at time so if it's possible can you do for both bnha & haikyuu? If not then just haikyuu is fine with me)

Appearance: I'm fem, black, 5'1, slightly athletic & curvy-ish figure (lol), short? (mid-neck) hair, straight, dark brown eyes, size 9 shoe size (idek why I'm adding this lmao)

Personality stuff: infp-t, Hufflepuff, Taurus sun, scorpio moon, sanguine, chaotic good, ambivert, a BuzzFeed quiz told me I'm a Pinto bean (do what you will with that info jdskdj)

Positive traits/qualities:

I'm super enthusiastic!! I love hyping people up and being energetic in general! I'm always down to try new things and have fun! If anyone is not feeling appreciated I'm ready to make sure they know that they're a queen/king and they're amazing!!!

I'm optimistic! I like to look at the brighter side of things and I always try my best to find a silver lining in any situation! Positive thinking helps me get through tough spots in my life because there's always hope for something better in the future!!

I'm observant!! I usually like to sit quietly and observe my surroundings. Especially in a new environment. Irl I like to read people's body language to asses their mood so ik how to approach them lol. I also do little things like remembering what they (friends/family) like to order at restaurants or something they pointed out at random that they liked. (Idk if I'm making sense lol)

Negative traits/flaws:

I'm annoying. Sometimes I just like being a little shit and cause mischief (being the youngest child does that to a person) but I think sometimes I'm too enthusiastic/energetic that it can be seen as obnoxious/annoying so I usually try and tone it down so I don't bother people...

I'm argumentative. When I have something to say I have to speak up. I try not to step on any toes but I can't help but argue with someone when our views on something clash. I like hearing different sides of debates though so I always give others a chance to talk. I don't go picking fights but if I feel like my opinion is being disregarded/not heard I will argue until it's known!!

I'm forgetful. Sure I'll remember random stuff like 'what my friend said in that one coffee shop last year' but important things like appointments? Birthdays? Assignment due dates? Idk her 😭 I try my best to write anything important down cause my memory is a selective sieve and it'll keep the most useless/random shit.

Hobbies: I love: Reading, writing, listening to music, learning languages, playing saxophone (I'm still learning tho lol), swimming, watching anime and cooking!

Music taste: any type of rock (punk rock, grunge, j-rock, metal), pop, kpop, RnB, jazz, dubstep, lofi hip hop, rap, bangers from: Elvis, the beach boys, Khalid, Ateez, Kendrick Lamar, p!atd, mcr, fallout boy, Nirvana, BTS, mxmtoon, Marianas trench, twenty one pilots, stray kids, Jay Park, crush, Dreamcatcher, Skrillex, MJ, troye sivan etc

Traits I look for: idk kind, funny/fun, loving/lovable, loyal (idk I ain't picky)

Traits I don't like: (nobody's perfect, just don't be a racist, xenophobic, sexist asshole lol)

Fun facts:

I love playing PC games! Might purchase a gaming pc in the future!

I have four piercings! Just my lobes and an industrial atm but I'm definitely gonna get more done!!

I might get some tattoos too one day :D

I wanna learn how to ride a bike (motorcycle)!!

My love language is touch! I live for hand holding, cuddling, hugging, tickle fights and more!! 🥺

I love learning new stuff and rn I'm learning how to draw, paint, play music on sax, a new language and new recipes! :3

I hope that's enough!! Tell me if you need more! Pls take ur time and stay safe!! Hope you are having an amazing day/night!!!! 💙✨

AAH I’M A SAX PLAYER TOO!!!! I love sax, I love sax, I love jazz?? I love growl notes. Sax is amazing, bless sax. Sax quartets are so fun

Also! I only accept one fandom and one type of matchup per ask, but if you want to get a bnha one as well, you can always send your description through again!! (I like doing it this way bc I feel like it’s fair for everyone?? Also if I lose my progress I don’t have as much lost)

Also WOW do you remind me of my self (we’re both Taurus suns hahahah)!! I have to note everything down in my calendar and reminders because I forget everything that’s not necessary for a grade. It’s insane!!

By the way your request was so well done?? So organized?? Wow, kudos to you bro!! I love it

I’d match you up with... GOSHIKI!!

Omg when I saw your qualities and flaws I was like I HAVE TO I HAVE TO I HAVE TOOOO

The way you fire that boy up is damn near DANGEROUS. But he loves you so much for it!! Oh my god you’re his daily dose of serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, EVERYTHING. Goshiki can be hard on himself sometimes though, and he really needs someone who’s able to point out the good in a bad (or mediocre) situation. After a while, he’ll really try to have that kind of mindset for himself. In a way, you’re his idol. He admires you so much; you’re all he talks about, aside from his plans of becoming an ace. Also, you somehow know him better than he knows himself. You’ll point out his tiniest habits and he’s just like ??i do that?? Oh wow I DO do that—

He really really hopes you pick up the technique side of volleyball when you watch him play because he totally wants you to tell him what he can fix!! No, he’s not neglecting his coach it’s just that?? You’re there?? And he loves getting your feedback because it’s so validating. HE ALSO THINKS YOUR LOVE FOR LEARNING NEW THINGS IS SO COOL?? It rubs off on him, now he wants to know all about your hobbies and if he can like,, participate in them with you. He’s a bit competitive and as soon as you tell him you play sax he’s got his mind set on learning the saxophone solo from Money. Please help him, he’s not gonna be able to-

Overall?? You’re Goshiki’s Equal (yeah that’s how he thought of you before he realized he had a Crush), and he respects you and he loves you so much. The team tries to tease him for it but lo and behold; his eyes just light up and he could talk about you for HOURS. Tendou learned Not To Mention The One around Goshiki.

Songs!!!

- Money, Pink Floyd (Goshiki started listening to it religiously for the Solo. He didn’t even get discouraged and you’re surprised by that)

- Cradles, Sub Urban

- Burial (feat. Pusha T, Moody Good & TrollPhace), Yogi & Skrillex (buddy thinks this is the epitome of Hype)

- Blackout, David Bowie

[earstwo]

hi hun, hope you are doing ok. what do you love the most about our beautiful adam?

hi friend! i am doing pretty well, thank you for checking in. i hope you’re doing okay and staying safe/healthy, etc.

as for your ask - i need you to know that i’ve been thinking about how to answer this question since you asked it last night bc i am nothing if not overdramatic. much like with ‘what is your favorite adam look’, there’s no way i could ever narrow it down to just one. it’s physically impossible for me. 

as such, here are a few things i love most about adam driver. these are in no particular order and i will try to not gush…too much, but no promises:

- his sense of humor and the fact that he doesn’t take himself too seriously. you’d think that for how serious and intense he is in general that he’d be like, a stick in the mud when it comes to comedy but he’s just not. i love the fact that he’s hosted SNL 3 times and just gets more and more ridiculous each time. he’s effortlessly funny in a way that we all we wish we could be. 

- he’s very self-deprecating. he makes fun of himself constantly (”that’s a bad joke”, “i’ve derailed this interview and now i can’t remember your question”, “i would be jabba the hutt if i weren’t kylo ren”, etc), and he’s god AWFUL at taking compliments, even when he absolutely deserves them. it’s something that makes me want to bear hug him and tape little post-its on his mirror that say “you are the best human on the planet” so he stops ever thinking otherwise.

- i love how much he lights up when he’s comfortable in his environment. if you haven’t yet, watch the VICE mini documentary about AITAF and his interviews during the logan lucky press tour with channing tatum and you’ll see what i’m talking about. that adam is probably more who adam actually is IRL and it’s literally just…i don’t even know. he’s funny and giggly and silly and absolutely fucking magnetic in every way. it’s almost hard to watch.

- i’ve honestly never tried to put this into words before, so i might fail miserably, but here goes: adam is the kind of dude that i’d be into IRL (putting his looks aside here because duh) because he’s strong and smart and masculine in a way that’s never once felt toxic to me. i love when a guy is self-sufficient and independent. i love when people don’t talk just to talk. that’s something that i struggle with often and i admire so much about him because he thinks about what he says for a long time before he says it and is always thoughtful and considerate with the words he does choose, so they always carry so much more weight. it’s so fucking attractive to me it’s insane. 

- i think it’s so fucking amazing how he’s able to fully transform himself into whatever role he’s playing. he disappears as adam and becomes his character. a perfect example of this is adam sackler, who was my intro to him as an actor. i thought for so long that adam driver just was adam sackler because that was long before i ever watched any interviews/learned about him as a human being. his ability to fully immerse himself in whatever character he’s playing is so incredible that i genuinely can’t see where he stops and his character begins when he’s acting. it’s so goddamn impressive.*side note: i fucking love how dedicated he is to each character he plays, too. doing all his own stunts as ben, learning to drive a fucking bus as paterson, losing 50 lbs for silence. that boy never does anything half-assed and it’s so fucking admirable. 

- his work ethic. don’t judge me too much here, but sometimes when i’m feeling lazy about work or exercising or literally anything, i think about adam driver and how hard he works constantly and it motivates me to get my shit together. i will literally probably never meet this dude, but i still want to be the type of person he’d be friends with and therefore try to always work harder than anyone else in the room. lmao i’m such a mess

- i promise i didn’t intentionally save his looks for the end of this post, and i feel like that’s very telling of how wonderful i think he is as a human, BUT IN ANY CASE, he is obviously incredibly handsome. that goes without saying. people that say he’s ‘weird hot’ can take a long walk off a short bridge, because no. he’s just hot. not ‘unconventionally’ or ‘nontraditionally’ hot. JUST HOT. beautiful. gorgeous. rugged. dark and tall in every way that a heartthrob should be. i love his crooked teeth and his ears because they make him more human; if he didn’t have them it would honestly just be too much. he’s already like a fucking greek god walking among us, we need these little human imperfections (can we even call them that?) to remind us that he’s not actually adonis. i love his hair. i love his eyes and how he can convey 19389294 things with them in mere seconds. i love his stupid half-smiles and smirks. don’t even get me sTARTED ON THE WINKING. men winking in general is something that sends me - watching adam do it had me on the fucking floor gasping for air and wondering when death was going to finally take me. 

- HONORABLE MENTIONS: *he always signs autographs or makes time to go talk to fans*he always turns conversations regarding his talent around so that someone else is receiving the praise instead of him (see: him complimenting noah baumbach’s marriage story script) *the thing with ben affleck’s son and how good he is with kids in general. christ on a cracker, as if i needed more reasons to be obsessed with him*dogs love him too and that’s just not a thing we should take lightly*the fact that he’s not on social media at all and actually hates it*HIS VOICE. JESUS FUCK. HOW COULD I FORGET THAT VOICE??phew, okay - 

i’m not gonna sit here and act like you asked for this, because you didn’t. you asked for me to tell you what i love most and i’ve written you an essay about ALL THE THINGS i love. and i also hope you know that i really did have to pull back here and stop myself from piling more things onto this.

TLDR: adam driver is a devastatingly talented, humble, intelligent, gorgeous, and kind dude. he’s everything that i think a ‘celebrity’ should be and even though i know he doesn’t really care about this kind of stuff, i hope he knows how inspiring he is in so many ways. he’s gotten me to write and create again by simply being my muse and he’s gotten me to be more thoughtful and intentional with my words and actions because of the level of commitment that he gives to everything in his life. i don’t actually know if you can love someone you’ve never met or spoken to, but if you can, i love him. a lot. 

also, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i miss him and hope he’s doing okay. knowing what i know about him, he’s probably enjoying the time he’s got to sleep and spend with his family but also probably itching to go back to work. whatever the situation may be, as long as that boi is safe and healthy, i’m gucci. 

[mirohed]

kim seunghun | love me, love me not

pairing: kim seunghun + gender neutral reader

wc: 3.7k

genre: hanahaki au + angst 

synopsis: daffodils represent unrequited love. is that why you keep coughing them up?

warnings: implications of suggestive content, descriptions of illness (and mention of surgery), mention of alcohol

playlist: love me, love me not.

a/n: happy birthday to me!! im glad i finally got to finish and post this (its,,, been in my wips since at least february LMAO) !! they prob wont read this but i wanted to thank my irls for dealing w me and my kpop bullshit (esp bc none of them stan ygtb 😔)

It's getting worse.

Your knuckles turn white, gripping the porcelain of the toilet. Tears and blood alike fall into the bowl, disturbing the gentle peace of the water. You pound at your chest, the action causing you to hack up yellow daffodil petals stained suspicious red. It's a monotonous process at this point. Pound. Cough. Pound. Cough. Repeat until the damned coughing stops.

It takes ten minutes before you return to normal. Or at least as normal as you can get. You got lucky this time.

You watch the petals spiral downward into the gaping hole in the toilet and get flushed away.

Being with Seunghun wasn't always accompanied by a tightness in your chest and petals tickling your throat.

june 19, 2005; 2:52 PM.

"I wanna grow up," you had grumbled, your hands squeezed around the chains of the swingset. You and Seunghun had been riding your bikes for the first time since getting the training wheels off. You had sped down a hill ("First one down’s a rotten egg!") and lost control, falling off and scraping your knee on the pavement. He rushed you to your parents' house, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist. The two of you had settled for playing on the swingset in your backyard instead.

"Me too," he said. "I think." He'd been rocking forward and backward on the swing, eyes focused on the blades of grass underfoot.

"You think?"

"I don't know." You stayed silent, trying to gain as much height as possible with your uninjured leg. "I don't wanna grow up and stop being friends." That got you to stop right in your tracks, your leg planted on the ground.

"What?" You sent an incredulous look his way. "Why would we stop being friends?"

He had let go of the swing, his hands finding his lap. "Some of the older kids stopped being friends when they grew up," he mumbled. "I don't wanna stop being friends, but neither did they..."

You got off the swing, limping over to him and wrapping Seunghun in the biggest hug your six-year-old arms could muster.

"We're gonna be best friends forever. Don't forget that."

"Best friends forever." If he wrapped his arms tighter around you then, you didn’t pick up on it.

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i had fun today :^))

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i wanna adopt a puppy!!

[09:55 PM] huniebee🐝: will you promise to help me take care of it

You brighten as the messages come in, your phone's vibrations distracting you from the way your throat clogs.

[09:56 PM] you: ofc

[09:56 PM] you: well be the best puppy parents the worlds ever seen

[09:57 PM] huniebee🐝: wait i need to send the pics from the pet shelter

[Attachment: 8 images]

You save each picture, cooing over the puppies you got to meet. This time, you only get a precious few minutes of relative clarity before things get too distracting to ignore. You return to the bathroom with a resigned sigh that devolves into a fit of coughs.

You cough and retch and cough some more. By the time you're done, there are less petals and more blood in the toilet bowl. Your chest still feels full of something you can't quite spit out.

Then you hack up something new: a bloody stem with wet flowers still attached.

There's nothing left to do but cry, your whole body wracked with pain both physical and emotional.

august 29, 2011; 3:15 PM.

"Today was fun," you said, making yourself right at home on Seunghun's bed. Your new backpack hadn't lasted more than a couple minutes in his house before getting neglected on his carpet. Your best friend hummed in acknowledgement, already sitting at his desk with his workbook out. "I'm glad we got to meet some new people," you continued, "but that Hyunsuk guy? Seems like a major pain in the ass."

"Give him a chance."

"I know, I know. I will. But still," you huffed, “it was his first day too. No need to act like a know-it-all."

"I know. But it's the first day. Maybe he'll even himself out with time."

The conversation ended there, and you spent some time staring at his ceiling fan, the blades going round and round in a big, beautiful blur. Before long, you had grown bored, looking over at him only to see his pencil flying across the paper.

"Hey. Let's go to the mall and get pretzels." Seunghun spun around to face you, a foot stopping his chair from going too far.

"Sure," he gave a placid smile. "Do your work first."

You groaned as loudly as you could, sounding much like a petulant child straight out of elementary school. (Which was more or less the truth, but you thought you were better than that.) After a few minutes of uninterrupted whining and failing to get Seunghun to break, you spoke up. "Why do I need to do my work? You're Mr. Hardworking, Mr. Teacher's Pet."

"We're in middle school now," he had said, and you remember thinking you were in for a long lecture, "and pretty soon, we're gonna have to go to high school and take entrance exams and decide which university we want to go to and..." He averted his gaze, put down his pen. "We need to start growing up."

"We're still young," you reasoned, sitting up and letting your legs dangle off the side of his bed. "If anything, this is our time to experience things and, you know, make mistakes before we become adults!"

He was silent for a few long, agonizing moments, long enough to make you think you'd won. The pretzels were within reach; all you had to do was ask for them.

"I call a compromise."

Shit. Compromises were common in your friendship. Seunghun was always a little too good at stopping you from making stupid decisions. The worst part was that you could never argue with them. "We go to the mall to get pretzels—my treat—if, and only if, you do your work. We don't go until we're both finished. Deal?"

You opened your mouth, determined to pick the proposal apart, but his reasoning was (unpleasant, yet) bulletproof. Instead, you reached for your backpack with a heavy sigh. "First of all, fuck you. Second of all," you said, tugging your own workbook out, "you're impossible."

"I know. Do your work."

"Fine."

The math problems had been difficult, definitely harder than you were used to, but doable. If anything, the greasy mall pretzels that were way too salty to be healthy made it all worth it.

Seunghun gets understandably very worried when you text him from the hospital, but he comes to see you nonetheless. In his arms is a bouquet of daffodils.

"They symbolize friendship," he says, setting it down on the table next to you. You stare at the pristine yellow petals and flatten your lips in a tight smile. How ironic, you think, that he doesn't know they also symbolize unrequited love.

"The doctors wouldn't tell me why you're here. Classified information, they said." That much is true; nor much is known about the disease outside of shitty romance movies with unrealistically happy endings. Seunghun always believed in them. You never did.

You don't think your story's gonna have a happy ending.

You didn't want him to know anyway, lest he worry. (And you don't want to think about what would happen to your friendship if he found out he was the cause of it all.) "You don't have to tell me," he begins, sitting himself down on one of those rigid hospital chairs, "I just wanna know if it's bad. Like, well...you know.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Terminal."

"Like if I'm gonna die?"

"Yeah," he rubs the nape of his neck, a bit abashed, "more or less."

"I don't know. Sure hope not," you chuckle. That brings on a coughing fit, and Seunghun looks on, brows knit together. He moves close to offer what little comfort he can, but you hold your hand up to stop him; having him near will only make things worse.

Petals threaten to spill out of your mouth, and panic bubbles in your chest when he asks if you're okay. Your doctor, bless her, chooses that moment to enter. She shooes him out "to speak to you in private." Seunghun, to his credit, obliges and flashes you a smile and a thumbs-up as he goes. You try to mirror his expression (and hope your smile isn't more of a grimace).

The door closes behind him with a soft click. "Friend of yours?" the doctor asks.

You spit the blood-stained petals into your hand, your doctor graciously looking the other way as you toss them into the trash. "You could say that."

october 4, 2013; 5:11 PM.

You tugged at your clothing, feeling more than a little uncomfortable as you waited for your best friend to show up. The DJ, a former student, was already hard at work inside the gym. You heard the bass-boosted beginning of the Cupid Shuffle and shot a frantic text to Seunghun.

[05:11 PM] you: holy shit theyre playing the cupid shuffle can you PLEASE hurry up

[05:12 PM] you: idc if this is our first homecoming you better get your ass over here

[05:12 PM] huniebee🐝: give me like two minutes!!

[05:12 PM] you: THE SONGS GONNA BE OVER IN 2 MIN

"Are you waiting for Seunghun?" Hyunsuk had asked, tie already loosened. You two had gotten close—not as close as you and Seunghun, of course—this year as a result of having classes together. You wondered why you ever hated him.

"Yeah. He won't be too late, thank God, but I'm pissed we're missing the Cupid Shuffle. What about you? I remember you bragging all week about 'flexing your dance skills in front of the ladies.' Or are you all talk, as usual?"

"You know, it's almost like you don't want me to wait with you."

You had laughed, knocking your shoulder into his. The chatter kept up for a minute or two before he made his leave. ("Well, it's time for me to flex my dance muscles in front of the seniors," he chuckled, giving you a salute as he walked off.)

"I'm here! God, I can't believe I missed the Cupid Shuffle," Seunghun said, head hung low. You began to feel a little self-conscious; you were feeling out of place in your semi-formal outfit, yet he looked right at home in his dress shirt.

Chasing those thoughts away, you grinned. "You're here now, aren't you? Come on." You took his hand and dragged him into the gym.

You don't talk to Seunghun or to Hyunsuk after that. You're not sure if you should tell Hyunsuk about the whole situation when he texts you. Seunghun must have told him something was up, of course, and he's insightful enough, sensitive enough (when he wants to be), but you worry. You're afraid he'll open his big mouth. Instead, you send a few messages to your best friend.

[04:29 AM] you: hey

[04:29 AM] you: i just wanted to say in advance that im sorry

[04:29 AM] you: im so so sorry for everything ive done and for what im about to do

There's one last message in the text box, daring you to send it. "I'm sorry I love you," you whisper instead, deleting the message before you do something you’ll regret. To seal the deal, you tap through a few menus until you reach his contact. The picture you've assigned to him is one you took; he's about to take a big bite of cotton candy bigger than his head.

With a heavy heart (though you hope it’s just the weight of the daffodils in your chest), you block his contact. It's better this way. It has to be.

Your doctor said you could get rid of the thick, thorned vines with a vicegrip around your heart and lungs, could pluck the flowers that threaten to spill out at the mere thought of your best friend.

The biggest side effect of it all, she told you, was that you'd forget all about Kim Seunghun. So you steel yourself.

The last thing you think about before they insert the thin needle of anesthesia in your veins is Seunghun's smile, and how you'll never see it in person again.

And how even if you did, you wouldn't remember it as the grin from the boy you love.

october 4, 2013; 9:16 PM.

The frenetic strobe lighting in the gym slowed to a stop, having been replaced with a spotlight making lazy rounds through the gym.

You knew that marked the beginning of a slow song, and dragged Seunghun off the floor in search of some punch. He seemed to have different plans, tugging you back on the floor and pulling you flush against him.

"Where are you going?" he had asked. "You're the one who wanted to dance the night away." His hands found your waist, yours instinctively folding behind his neck. You had wanted to say something about how that claim was void now; he was the one that made you miss the Cupid Shuffle, but the words get extinguished when you look at him.

It was just like that time you practiced in fifth grade, but you swore there was something different about tonight and the way you swayed. You thought back to your practice session in fifth grade, how you had stepped on each other's feet, how you spent the whole time laughing. (For the record, it wasn't for any lack of balance; you started it, laughing as he cried out before he stomped on your toe.)

There was no laughing during the song. Everything was vibrant and deafening and there all at once. But at the same time, it was like everything had been stripped away. Everything but you and Seunghun.

Things changed after that. You were left with a dizzying, free-fall sort of feeling that picked up with each glance at your best friend. Almost every butterfly in the world was taking current residency in your stomach, making you feel light as your body moved to the music. Before long, there was something lodged at the back of your throat, nudging its way forward.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," you said, a particularly heavy cough bringing the mysterious lump to your mouth.

Running your tongue along the smooth texture of the lump (okay, so not phlegm), you spat the offending object into the sink: a single yellow petal, coated in saliva.

You blinked.

Blinked again.

"Oh, what the fuck," you muttered, unlocking your phone. One quick Google search later—why the fuck am i coughing up flowers—you found an answer.

Flora mortem. You were loath to believe WebMD, of all things, but you found yourself tapping the link regardless. There was another term for the rare disease: Hanahaki.

Revising your search query was a mistake. The first result was the "hanahaki" tag on Tumblr, which showed nothing but models with tears in their eyes and bloodied flowers in their mouths. Yikes.

You made your way back to the party after that, but lingering in the back of your mind was the cause of the disease: a severe case of unrequited love.

There is only one definite cure for Hanahaki Disease: having the object of the afflicted's affections return their feelings.

You almost manage to purge the petal and the stupid WebMD page from your mind for the rest of the night.

Almost.

You wake up hours later. It's a little disorienting, sure, to come to with little memory of what landed you in the hospital. You peek under the oversized hospital gown to see bandages over your chest, get tempted to rip the IV drip from your arm. The doctor comes in right before you make a move on the needle. She tells you all about how the flowers in your lungs are gone for good.

"You're saved. But the final test," she says, pulling a phone from her pocket, "is this. Do you recognize the people in this picture?"

You recognize yourself next to a boy you don't know. His hand's around your waist, pulling you close. You wear matching grins. Given the way you're both dressed, you suspect the picture's from your freshman year's homecoming dance. Weird. Memory's kinda fuzzy from that night.

"Yeah. Myself. I don't know the other guy. Am I supposed to?"

"No. You're not. Congratulations," she smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You're cured."

You look through all the old messages and pictures when you have some time to yourself. You reach out for the memory, the feeling of knowing Kim Seunghun. You get nothing, and while your brain knows something's wrong, you're more concerned about being able to breathe easy.

You move to a new city, far, far away from the place you grew up in. You finish your last year of high school, get a job, start college. You make new memories with new people. You forget all about Kim Seunghun.

It gets easy to forget that you weren't born with the ugly faded red scars that run up and down your chest. It's your only remaining tie to the man you loved so much you almost let yourself wither away. You think it's a good thing you cut him off; why stick around, why force yourself to suffer, for someone who doesn't love you back? Why be with someone if it physically hurts to stay by their side?

But sometimes you wonder. What happened? What happened to him after his best friend walked out of his life for good with no explanation?

Those days are never good. You distract yourself then, often with the familiar kick of alcohol burning in the back of your throat. You've never been much of a drinker, but you figure it's never too late to start.

Sometimes, the distraction comes from being in the arms of another.

(One of your favorite distractions, a young man named Byounggon, had run his fingers along the angry lines one night, jotting them down in his map of your body.

"Do you regret it?" he asked then, eyes half-lidded with drowsiness. You cupped his cheek, ran a thumb along the planes of his face.

"I wouldn't be here if I regretted it, now would I?" He let the corners of his mouth turn up just so, pressing his lips to yours.

You don't talk to him much nowadays, your interactions reduced to likes on Instagram, views on Snapchat. He's moved to a bigger city. "More opportunities," he said. You keep up with his dream of being a musician, always. There was a time when you were his number one supporter, after all.)

"Will that be all?" the cashier asks, jotting your order on the plastic cup. When you nod, he asks for your name. He jots that down too.

But then his eyes widen and he looks at you with renewed interest. "I'm sorry?"

"Is there a problem?" you asks, peering at your name (spelled correctly) on the cup. His eyes search for an answer within yours, some sort of explanation you can't seem to give. He averts his gaze, shakes his head, places your cup in the queue of orders.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Just thought you were someone I knew. Have a nice day." You parrot the phrase, catching a glimpse of the young man's name tag.

Seunghun, it reads in cheerful yellow. There's a doodle of a puppy in the top right corner. You think it's rather cute.

Two weeks later, you meet Seunghun again. This time, you're out for a morning jog. The crisp autumn air greets you as your feet meet the pavement and let out a satisfactory crunch under the burnt orange leaves on the sidewalk.

You both get stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. While you catch your breath, you don't miss the way he flinches, as though he didn't expect you to show up. He schools his expression into something friendly within no time, and you wonder if you imagined the whole thing.

"The weather's nice, isn't it?"

"It is," you pant. "On your way to work?" He raises a hand to tug at the strap of his backpack with a small smile.

"Yeah. You should come by, give us business," he grins. "On mornings like this, I recommend the hazelnut latte." You hum in agreement, not yet recovered enough to converse. "Tell you what, you come and get one when I'm working, I'll make sure it's on the house."

"Really? Maybe I'll swing by." The light changes, and you leave Seunghun behind, waving goodbye as you do.

You come in later that day, ordering a hazelnut latte as promised. Seunghun's manning the register, same as two weeks ago, and when he takes everything down, he smiles. You miss it as you pay, but there's something extra on your cup.

As you take a sip of the (delicious; his coworker Yedam must be some sort of brewing prodigy) latte, you catch a glimpse of the extra writing.

Along the side of the cup is his phone number.

[10:58 PM] seunghun!: more than anything i want to adopt a puppy

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: or rather another one

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: i named this one after an old friend

[Attachment: 1 image]

The picture of Seunghun and his dog brings a smile to your face. You've been spending more time with him recently, whether it be going on coffee runs ("Are you sure you're not just using me for my employee discount?") or complaining about life as a broke college student ("My card got declined trying to buy a bag of chips last night...").

It's nice. Spending time with him is...nice.

It's more than a simple distraction, somebody to hold close on nights your decisions try to haunt you. It’s friendship, something to hold onto when you lose your way in the dense forest of your mind and to cherish when you manage to make it to a clearing and bask in the sunshine.

You've caught a cold recently (probably from that bastard Seo Changbin in your communications class). Seunghun's given you some homemade tea, swearing on its usefulness. It certainly tastes good, the sweet honey chased by tangy lemon. Unfortunately, the tea isn't able to stop the persistent cough you've been plagued with.

Feeling phlegm start to come up, you turn the bathroom lights on, hacking it up and spitting into the sink.

Huh. That's weird.

There's no phlegm.

The only thing in the sink is a single golden petal, coated in saliva.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he's just full on sat next to her for food or whatever after also sitting next to her on the coach/minibus etc] Jimmy: let's not stop meeting like this Janis: Hope you don't think this harrassment is going to fly Janis: not a Catholic school Jimmy: You'd have to speak up, reckon that's about as likely as Jesus weighing in on the issue Jimmy: but alright I owe you a vape pen, glue stick or whatever else the paddy youth classes as a fun time Janis: Wouldn't wanna inflate your ego more than everyone else has Janis: or talk to you, obvs Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: congrats on your immunity Jimmy: 🏅🏆 Janis: To what? Janis: the clap or your lack of charm Jimmy: both Jimmy: you're a real winner, girl Janis: aw thanks Janis: if you want tossing off under the table though, you've got plenty other options Jimmy: a real heart breaker, you Jimmy: gives me a better idea Jimmy: tah Janis: that's me Janis: brains and beauty Janis: ? Jimmy: don't forget modesty and humility Jimmy: use your 💔 talents to publicly me and I can spend the rest of this trip in exile Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: i'd rather, tah Janis: you want that rep? Janis: guess a pussy is pretty undesirable Jimmy: more than the one they're trying to give me, yeah Jimmy: not the only 🧠 on board Janis: no jerking off, remember Janis: fine Janis: leave your vape pen at home Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't touch me Jimmy: or my nonexistent vape pen Janis: not planning on it Janis: school trips are ample molestation time all 'round but me and Mr Lucas got other 🎯 Jimmy: what is the plan then? Jimmy: be 💔 to cockblock you and him and that's your thing more than mine Janis: you've come to me with no plan? Janis: 'course Janis: right, who's in your room? Jimmy: if you can't do it you ain't the girl for me Jimmy: and if you are, I ain't gonna tell you how to work Jimmy: Dunno, man bun, deepest of v neck t-shirts? Jimmy: probably does vape Janis: yeah, dead considerate, I buy it Janis: not bad description though, if you're a police informant, you're giving the game away Janis: later, message me when he's got his mates in your room, yeah Janis: step 1 Jimmy: 👌 💰 Jimmy: I'm 45 and faking being a real boy, the 😎 hide my crows feet Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when you 😏 irl] Janis: explains the whole look, really Jimmy: [likewise cos she's funny too] Jimmy: save it for the break up, sweetheart Janis: rest assured, just 'cos you're new doesn't mean I've not got enough insults for you to spare Jimmy: that'll be why I asked you Jimmy: all in for that 👅 baby, sharper the better Janis: obviously Janis: not like I'm the only bitch who wouldn't take this as a 💍 Jimmy: 🤞 Mr Lucas has picked one out for you Jimmy: 👰🎊💕 Janis: 😩😩😩 Janis: don't get my hopes up Jimmy: my bad, mate Jimmy: You want me to give him a nudge? Only take the one screenshot, I'm sure Janis: idk if he swings both ways Janis: or that a 🍆📸 is gonna help my case Janis: but cheers, mate Jimmy: give him a bit to get to know me Jimmy: and appreciate my many talents Jimmy: be alright Janis: defs what they had in mind for the group bonding sesh Jimmy: bit rude to skip it then, like Janis: who are you to deny the world of your 'talents' Janis: I feel a migraine coming on though Jimmy: with a head that big it's gonna be a killer Janis: 🤞 Janis: I'll need all afternoon Jimmy: 🙏🏻 for you, my dear Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [a dramatic 😑 deadpan] Jimmy: [he's just like 😏 of course] Jimmy: the dickheads are about Janis: alright Janis: get ready to answer the door Janis: [idea is she shows up so whoever the f was in her room at the time knows she's gone somewhere (and they nosy af so they'll be ON IT) and then these lads will see them go off together and thus the rumour-mill can do it's thing without them having to do more than go and hide and smoke somewhere for a hot sec] Jimmy: if you're gonna be naked give me a heads up to be 😍 not 😑 Jimmy: whatever the rumour mill reckons I weren't on that teen soap Janis: alright, hollyoaks Janis: the accent and the IQ, not any of the emotional range Janis: subtly is your friend even if I ain't, nothing makes them lose their shit more Jimmy: maybe you do have something going on behind them 👀 Janis: save the 'compliments' for when you 'reckon they're just out of earshot, boy Jimmy: save the bossiness for when Mr Lucas wifes you Janis: you're the one that said you weren't gonna tell me how to work Janis: so fuck up if you want my face to be anything but not at your door Jimmy: you're working them not me Jimmy: so crack on Janis: pick up a hoodie or a jacket yeah Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: what's your colour? Janis: right, so you aren't a total amateur Janis: ⬛️ works 😎 boy Jimmy: It's how we woo girls in the freezing cold north Janis: try not to freeze yourself 'cos naturally you can't have it back 'til this shitshow is over Jimmy: are you dyslexic? I just said 💪 Janis: believe that when I see it Janis: [shows up] Jimmy: [off you go 'sneakily' haha] Janis: [she's 100% in a shortie PJs moment for the added scandal of it all 'cos unlike the rest she hasn't bought all the LEWKS to this trip honey, hence the need for the hoodie] Jimmy: [don't check her out too much boy cos we know that's actually a look and you wanna] Janis: [avoid the teachers on the way out but get caught on the way in, 'cos no one ever gets in proper trouble on school trips 'cos they cba but again, gets people shooketh] Jimmy: [such a mood, unrelated but I once mooned on a school trip] Janis: [just walking in casual silence right now] Jimmy: [literally not gonna say a word this whole time lbr] Janis: [suits both of you, just be somewhere they can't be peeping] Jimmy: [you know he's 🚬 because always, casually retrieved from behind his ear because #mood] Janis: [just stealing it 'cos what else are you gonna do frankly] Jimmy: [giving her a look like oi and stealing it back cos likewise] Janis: [when you're just snatching lmao, 'YOU owe ME, dickhead, so consider your debt repaid' 😏] Jimmy: [lights a new one for her and gives her it like aim higher because shady bitch and also that's a habit from day 1] Janis: [raises it like cheers] Jimmy: [tips a hat he doesn't have on] Janis: [the 🙄 but we know you sneaky amused] Jimmy: [gotta give them back because its what they always do] Janis: [gestures like gimme your phone] Jimmy: [does without a second thought which makes me die] Janis: [lucky she's not being a dick with it, takes a cute/vaguely sexy pic in his hoodie and saves her number handing it back with a shrug like now you can brag as much as you do or don't wanna 'cos how boys do] Jimmy: [sends her a text which is literally just '😍' so she has his] Janis: [sends back a '🖕'] Jimmy: [sends back '💔'] Janis: ['���'] Jimmy: [when you gesture at her to come here so you can take a pic together because she needs something in her phone too in case of nosy bitches] Janis: [does, obvs, start as you mean to go on lads] Jimmy: [casual photo session] Janis: [you know grace is blowing her phone up like WHERE HAVE YOU GONE rn] Jimmy: [the truest thing, hold on honey, they're busy] Jimmy: [he'd give her a bemused look cos miss popular is not the mood he expected but like also he knows the plan is working so can't complain] Janis: [the face you'd make 'cos it looks like you're just bffs with her and not related like omg no] Jimmy: [it'd make him lol he wouldn't be able to help it] Janis: [just scowling in that last pic] Jimmy: [casually his fave out of all the pics] Janis: [the temptation to send one to her just to shut her up but that'd be too easy so you gotta make her work for it lol] Jimmy: [you'll have so much time to shut everyone up, hang in there kids] Janis: [for now enjoy the literal irl silence] Jimmy: [it would be so nice cos his roommate would be as annoying and loud] Janis: [I legit thought you were describing Ollie so #real when your fam is just too much] Jimmy: [#confirmed and whatever girlfriend he has currently should be on the trip too so it's even more annoying to share] Janis: [fun and games, defs kicking grace out so you can 'get it on' 'cos she'll be fuming, everyone coupled] Jimmy: [we simply must] Jimmy: [she'd have to throw herself at some random trip lad so as not to be entirely left out which is not a mood] Janis: [can only imagine the quality gurl no] Jimmy: [honestly, don't even bother but we know she will] Janis: [god bless, also you can probably start heading back lads] Jimmy: [take a second to imagine the kiss when he walks her back, like enjoy everyone but also you two shamelessly] Janis: could've warned me, prick Jimmy: so you're the amateur then? Jimmy: could've warned me of that Janis: fuck off Janis: was following the 'don't touch me' rule Jimmy: you never said I couldn't touch you Janis: 'cos it's a given Janis: whatever Janis: it worked Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: you don't think? Jimmy: you that confident? Janis: i get it, lads ain't AS hysterical as girls are Janis: usually Janis: these headphones aren't as noise-canceling as they promised Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not for you, but as far as the plan Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: not for long Jimmy: exile, remember Janis: ain't got a spare room I can magic out my arse for you Jimmy: I get it, we ain't back at your mansion now Jimmy: it's alright, rich girl, no hard feelings Janis: 😢 some more, pussyole Janis: you wanna swap beds? Jimmy: you want that rep this soon? Jimmy: I've had a few less than 🥇 nights with northern lasses but nowt worth crying about Janis: you can spare me the details if you want an invite Janis: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: hope you don't think i'm doing this work for free Janis: they reckon we're having such a scintillating conversation rn, again, welcome Jimmy: what you don't love an emoji standoff? Janis: 😍 Janis: of course Jimmy: if you need me to make you 😳 that's one of my talents Janis: sure Janis: that shit don't work on me Jimmy: sure Jimmy: you're well special, you Jimmy: a proper ❄ Janis: if you like Janis: or you ain't as special as you've been led to believe but either or Jimmy: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot, in your own words Janis: if you think i'm the type to take the higher ground whilst you continue to be a dickhead, you got the wrong bitch Jimmy: If you think this is me being a dickhead, you've got the wrong northern new boy Janis: scary Janis: is this the part where i cream myself? Jimmy: You can't kiss and you scare too easily Jimmy: is there owt else I gotta be warned about? Janis: you couldn't make a 🐷😳 Jimmy: you've got body issues an' all ✔ Jimmy: what diet are you on, I'll try and look interested Janis: wrong sister Janis: pass on your deets Jimmy: Tah Janis: have fun Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [skip to after am activities which they slayed as a #team] Janis: tah for not dragging me down too much Jimmy: I were about to say the same thing to you, girl Jimmy: 💕 Janis: wow, so in-synch Janis: what am I thinking rn Jimmy: it'd make a 🐷😳 Janis: [when you barely hold back that lol] Janis: oh well Janis: 💕 whilst it lasted babe Jimmy: fuck it, I'm still pretty Jimmy: 🧠 off for a bit Janis: sound like a delusional single ma Janis: you'll bounce back, karen, you still got it Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: two kids and no man Janis: 💔 Janis: make the most of this you time Jimmy: on it Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🙌📣👏🏆 Jimmy: living laughing loving Jimmy: all in this one morning Janis: break out the pink gin and prosecco babes Jimmy: It's a #date Janis: the lack of booze on this trip is shocking Janis: someone's got to have something Jimmy: meant to be what you paddys are known for Jimmy: sort it out, the lot of yous Janis: if I find the goods, I won't share 💕 Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: I'll sneak off and find my own then Jimmy: gotta be a pub somewhere Janis: you reckon you're getting free Jimmy: why not? Janis: 😎 not ninja Jimmy: I'll send you a selfie once I've had a few Jimmy: proof'll be in the pint Janis: fuck off are you going without Jimmy: you reckon you're coming with? piss off Janis: i won't need to chat to you when we get there Janis: if Jimmy: you don't need to chat to me now but on you go Janis: this ain't talking Janis: and you can't stop me Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you'll get over it Janis: dry your eyes Jimmy: You'll get over staying here Janis: fuck off, you don't even know where we are Jimmy: I've got a 📱 knobhead Jimmy: [waves it at her IRL] Janis: call a hotline to 😢🍆👌 it out Jimmy: phone a friend to take you to the pub Jimmy: I'll see you there Janis: I can go myself, dickwad Janis: 🤞 we don't pick the same one Jimmy: I'll avoid anywhere called the Blushing Pig Jimmy: know it's your local Janis: you'll wanna avoid anywhere too local with that accent Jimmy: I ain't scared, leave that to you, like Janis: piss off Jimmy: the plan's that, yeah Janis: okay, try this one, shut up Jimmy: this ain't talking Jimmy: what happened to that? Janis: i make the rules Janis: it's talking when i want you to not Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: 🙄 Janis: laters then Jimmy: in a bit Janis: ✌ flip reverse that Jimmy: [nearly lols] Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: went from hot to cute well quick Janis: yeah, not the only one with talents Jimmy: I might believe you when I see any Janis: I were about to say the same thing to you, boy Jimmy: I got in there first, girl Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: fact remains, no blushes, just bullshit Janis: and to get to the pub? Janis: not helping you, amateur Jimmy: [sends her some real saucy shit use your imagination cos we know I don't have skills] Jimmy: To hide your blush or top that Janis: [when you have to make a face of disgust so it ain't straight up 😳] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [at least her going out for a run would not be weird if the teachers asked] Jimmy: [run baby run] Janis: [jump that fence, you're defs getting into trouble after the hols, starting the new term off well before finishing this one] Jimmy: [start as you mean to go on, everyone will be scandalised] Janis: [just ignoring each other lmao] Jimmy: [good luck with that] Janis: did you get lost Jimmy: did you pull a muscle? Janis: I'm 💪 Jimmy: no proof, just chat Janis: proof is how far behind you're lagging Jimmy: Piss off Janis: aw baby Jimmy: save your sweet talk, Judith Jimmy: you might need the practice but I don't need to hear it Janis: gotta concentrate on your 🗺 Janis: only so much 🧠 power a Northern boys got Jimmy: congrats on being a native, mate Janis: ain't that hard Janis: one main road Jimmy: I'll drop you in my old home town and you can let me know how well you crack on Janis: alright Janis: piss easy Jimmy: 👌 Janis: can't be much worse than here Jimmy: can be your own judge Janis: generous Jimmy: I ain't buying you a pint Jimmy: stop flirting with me Janis: I'll get someone of age to do that Janis: tah Jimmy: 🧠 and 🍀 Janis: just tits Janis: don't feel too bad Jimmy: I feel bad for you if you're banking on that Janis: 10 feminist points for you, pop up a status #ally Jimmy: I meant 'cause your sister's are better but alright Janis: didn't see her hauling her arse over no fence but alright Jimmy: nobody asked her, that'll be why Jimmy: must be politer than you an' all Janis: find your way back and shag her then, like Jimmy: If I fancied that I wouldn't be here Jimmy: but tah for giving us your blessing Janis: got more chance that than getting a drink Jimmy: take that 🍻 chance still Janis: tits aren't that good then Jimmy: To cancel out the lass attached she'd need them🥇 Jimmy: I'm new, but that don't mean I ain't got a single clue about nowt Janis: so made up you've seen a boob, mate Jimmy: me too, like Janis: 👌 Janis: [sends picture of drink like mission accomplished] Jimmy: 👏 Jimmy: you should post that somewhere you can actually brag Janis: tah for the suggestion Janis: wait 'til I'm finished Janis: Lucas don't need my location Jimmy: How else is he meant to propose? Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: you wanna 💔 him when I get caught cheating Jimmy: he's 💕 I'm just here to make you 😳 Janis: not talking about you, you ain't here Jimmy: not talking to me either, this don't count Janis: too right Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be thinking up #s for me if you've got the brain space Jimmy: How much you gonna pay me, rich girl? Janis: get you a pint if you ever make it Jimmy: [struts in] Jimmy: Go on then Janis: [gets the lad to get 'em all a drink in, sure he is thrilled lmao] Jimmy: [#cockblocked] Janis: 👏 on not dying Jimmy: might do on the way back Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: wouldn't be a tragedy to miss more team building Janis: I don't wanna give you cpr Jimmy: don't bring it up then Jimmy: I never asked Janis: I don't care Janis: not catching a case 'cos you're suicidal Jimmy: I get it, you need the practice for that an' all Janis: I get it, you're a dick Jimmy: Is there owt you can do on the first try? Janis: none of your business Jimmy: no then Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't know me Janis: and you don't need to Jimmy: 👌❄ Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: sure Janis: so don't ask Jimmy: It weren't a real question, more of a dig Janis: like I said, I get it Janis: real edgy stuff Jimmy: whatever big head, you know things Jimmy: I got that myself ages ago Janis: yeah, you're dead convincing, hollyoaks Jimmy: I wouldn't bother auditioning if I were you Jimmy: they really care about tits Janis: you're fooled Janis: but thanks for the advice Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when your phone's going off 'cos only so long before they'd be obligated to call the police lol but they'd try to get contact first, massive 🙄] Janis: drink up, newbie Jimmy: no chance, I just got here Janis: you wanna be dragged out by a teacher Janis: that'll look well 😎 Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: [short lol like ha] Janis: alright then, enjoy Janis: [going out with the dude] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [after a period] Janis: I'll tell 'em where to find you then, shall I? Jimmy: such a romantic, you Janis: well it ain't gonna look very #goals but that's your choice Jimmy: Thought you were making the rules Janis: I ain't gonna drag you out, nice try perv Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: do whatever the fuck you are gonna do then, Jennifer Janis: 🙄 omg get out Janis: take the glass with you if you're aiming for impressive here Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you trying to achieve Jimmy: We've done this bit, don't know each other, don't want to, ring any bells? Jimmy: and it should be obvious for a 🧠 like yours Janis: you want to get them to leave you alone, sure Janis: so you don't need to cause this scene Jimmy: Do you wanna be here? Janis: I didn't come for no reason Janis: but I don't need the garda called on me Jimmy: I came here for my dad's bollocks reasons Jimmy: so maybe I do Janis: alright Janis: I'll say I ain't seen you then Janis: if that's what you want Jimmy: that won't look right Jimmy: we're meant to be love's young dream Janis: right Janis: so we've really gotta bonnie and clyde it? Jimmy: I'll find another way to fuck him over Jimmy: without dragging you down into it Janis: cheers Janis: consider it an IOU, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we should've taken more pictures Janis: I've text my sister, now they know we're not actually runaways/kidnapped/other, we can at least take our time before the bollocking Janis: get another drink if you want Jimmy: I don't have a 🔪 in my pocket everyone Jimmy: figure it out Janis: just pleased to see me, yeah Janis: good one Jimmy: 💀 pact's tomorrow Jimmy: and we're obviously using poison Janis: obviously, the ⛵ lake isn't deep enough to walk into the middle of Jimmy: and I don't have rocks in my pocket either Jimmy: they ain't that deep Janis: 💔💰 poor boy, right? Jimmy: Yep Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: gutting Janis: I'll bring the poison then Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: I'll bring the 🥧 for you to poison Janis: it's for credit, by the way Jimmy: 👌 Janis: somehow shitter than I imagined still Jimmy: 💔 Janis: yeah yeah Janis: you got a 🚬? Jimmy: only thing actually in my pockets Janis: don't need an inventory can I have one Jimmy: If you come here Janis: so bloody awkward Jimmy: I don't get credit for exercising, mate Janis: 🙄 yeah cheers for the training Janis: [comes in though] Jimmy: [waves because cheeky little shit] Janis: [😑 just puts her hands out like tah] Jimmy: I said, come here Janis: [stomps closer like boy] Jimmy: [pulls her closer to him because 1. that bitch and 2. selfie opportunities shouldn't be ignored 3. shameless] Janis: [when you go hard for the selfies but then you push him back like oi] Jimmy: [when you likewise go hard for the selfies but then shrug and walk out knowing she'll follow you for that 🚬] Janis: you're so stupid Jimmy: *northern Janis: if you wanna do your people like that Janis: I'm just talking 'bout you Jimmy: We all understand what come here means Jimmy: my stupid dog just about does an' all Janis: fuck off Jimmy: Do you want a 🚬 or not? Janis: I did, you heard me Jimmy: Come on then Janis: [comes out but starts walking gesturing like let's go] Jimmy: [lights one for her and holds it out cos always] Janis: [takes it in silence] Jimmy: [walking and 🚬 in silence as is their standard] Janis: they better go easy on you 'cos you're a new kid and by proxy, me Jimmy: I'll play the 🎻🎻s loud Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: yeah Janis: long as my parents don't find out and try to fuck with my holiday, give a fuck Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: like you wanna be grounded for 3 weeks Jimmy: like that'd be his choice of punishment Janis: lucky you Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: poor you Janis: mhmm Jimmy: [is just 😒 but when is that not his face tbh] Janis: [so not gonna notice really] Jimmy: [deafening silence is also not a clue] Janis: don't snitch on me and I won't snitch on you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: later then Janis: [bolts 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's taking his sweet time and we all know it] Janis: [the very next day, room cleaning duty 'cos you've been bad eggs] Jimmy: here's your chance to see if anyone has anything to drink Janis: true Janis: I'll do Dan and Jake's room then, that's where my money is Jimmy: 💕 and 🍀 girl Janis: godspeed Janis: 📸 anything good Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬s and 💸 Janis: they ain't the sharpest Janis: plus they're terrified we'll turn around and say they went full on abuse of power away from school property Jimmy: You should let me in your room Janis: I ain't got nothing to steal, have at my sister's shit Janis: but seriously, they realise they've left us alone rn, dopes Jimmy: Later, dickhead Jimmy: when your sister is about Janis: twincest ain't the one Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Jack would disagree, clearly Janis: [retro pornmag moment] Janis: guess he knew the signal would be shit, clever boy Jimmy: can't be that clever if he ain't getting any off the page Janis: neither are you, like Jimmy: You're rocking my world, baby Jimmy: don't insult yourself Janis: 😏 Janis: right Jimmy: [a picture of some prescription pills] Jimmy: want these? Janis: won't even take offense to that implication Janis: go on Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You should come then Janis: later Jimmy: I don't wanna do drugs with you, Jodie Jimmy: it weren't the idea Janis: I get the idea, moron Janis: I'm saying yeah, probably should Jimmy: Alright Janis: these kids are idiots Janis: why have they bought half this shit Jimmy: not all of them, I just found your sister's friend's binge stash 🍫🍪🍬 Jimmy: won't be starving in a bit Janis: that's evil Janis: someone'll die if she don't get her cals Janis: 🤞 it's grace Jimmy: 😈 me Jimmy: come and get a 🍪 Janis: not your stupid dog Jimmy: she follows instructions 50% of the time Janis: 🖕 Janis: maybe if you were a better trainer Jimmy: more for me 💕 Janis: you enjoy, I'm busy Jimmy: I get it, it's decent porn Janis: that's it 🙄😂 Janis: but you've put me off now, twat Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: 🍀 I'm coming over later then Janis: obviously Janis: how morally dubious is it to put Kieran's missus' bra in say Janis: Leon's bed Janis: asking for a friend Jimmy: I'd reckon you were morally obligated Jimmy: answering for everyone Janis: 😇 me Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Pouring water in Brian's bed is gonna be my good deed for the day Janis: 🙏 Jimmy: Could've got into Catholic school well easily, me Janis: missed a trick Janis: you'd have loved it 📏😩 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: that is a username and a half Jimmy: Wait til you have a scroll, mate Jimmy: you'll be 😍🤤 Janis: 🍀 I don't need the sugar Jimmy: he ain't got the 💰 to be that kinda daddy Jimmy: and you ain't got step mum in you Janis: fuck you Janis: just 'cos you don't want that for you Jimmy: 'Cause you just said you're 😇 Jimmy: gotta be evil, knobhead Janis: suspect Janis: why you being almost nice Janis: you wanna share the swag I found Jimmy: #duh Janis: depends Janis: you eat all the 🍪s Jimmy: I'm only one lad Jimmy: there's fucking 1000s Janis: part-timer Janis: yeti could do it in five minutes Jimmy: you're the 😳🐷 Jimmy: but challenge accepted Janis: why you trying to give me an eating disorder Janis: you've already tampered with one bitch's today, like Janis: is it your thing? Jimmy: Why ain't you already got one? Jimmy: looks like most of the lasses at school have Janis: No I don't Janis: I'm not an idiot Jimmy: Sounds like something a lass with an eating disorder would say but alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 Jimmy: cover me Janis: sure Janis: diligent as Jimmy: or come with Jimmy: if you want Janis: depends Janis: you giving me a 🚬 to stay skinny Jimmy: No need Janis: make your mind up Jimmy: I've never said you're fat Janis: bullshit! 😂 Janis: at least try to keep up with what you're dishing out Jimmy: I can't keep up with what ain't there Janis: the pig emoji is straight-up still on my screen, boy Jimmy: 🧠 and 😳 Janis: 😏 sure Jimmy: don't come then, girl Janis: shut up Janis: I want one Jimmy: Who's the biggest dickhead? We'll go in their room for it Janis: 🤔 Janis: 11 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: race you Janis: big mistake Jimmy: [obviously beats her but only because he was halfway there when he said they should race #sneaky] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: [just fuming 😒] Jimmy: [😏 shamelessly and lounging on the bed of whoever the hell's room this is] Janis: ['cheater' and sitting on the floor] Jimmy: [throws a pillow at her like oi even though he is but also so she can sit on it if she want #softboy] Janis: [just looking at him like I don't want a pillow] Jimmy: ['reckoned you might need one after being such a sore loser' shrugs and throws some 🍬s from the stash he's pocketed her way instead] Janis: ['don't get sore that easy, boy' popping one in her mouth and throwing whatever spoils she found into the middle] Jimmy: [lighting up x2 first for her and then him and then lying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, bit rude that you haven't looked at what she brought boy] Janis: [takes it but is just ashing it on the floor] Jimmy: [blowing smoke rings at this random kid's ceiling casually] Janis: [just on your phone like] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are trying not to fall asleep because blatantly on his phone all night to Bobby 'cause he was left with Ian] Janis: [allowing it 'cos no need to be that much of a dick, like] Jimmy: [accidentally doing that OTT dramatic jerking yourself awake thing after a bit, which there's no styling out] Janis: [lil 😏 'don't set the gaff alight, too far'] Jimmy: ['if that's where you draw the line, babe'] Janis: ['save the big stuff for the death pact end times'] Jimmy: [does a IRL 👍] Janis: ['he keep you up?'] Jimmy: [when you nod automatically but obviously who you mean isn't who she means but you can't then be like actually no] Janis: [shakes her head like dickhead but kinda fondly 'cos doesn't hate Ollie] Jimmy: [when he doesn't know they are related still so amused] Janis: [just looking like you have a crush lmao] Jimmy: [lighting another 🚬 you don't need immediately after you've put the 1st one out in this room cos you don't wanna leave] Janis: [hopping up onto the bed to look through the shit he found 'cos no rush to go back to cleaning or being with the rest either] Jimmy: [sneaky looking at her while she's looking at the things] Janis: [oh duh, she should have the holy grail in a backpack 'cos someone had to have some booze even if it's just cans or shitty alcohpops, get that out like now it's a #haul] Jimmy: [yasss get #day drunk kids, well not really because there wouldn't be enough but still, have at it] Janis: [just putting one on his chest like a bottle for a baby lmao] Jimmy: [a little lol] Janis: 💕🍺 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: ['Slainte'] Jimmy: [downs the drink cos the only thing to do when its shit] Janis: [the same] Jimmy: [eating all those sweet treats and necking all that booze having a lovely time] Janis: [get some energy boo] Jimmy: [being #goals together on the low] Janis: [selfie moment] Jimmy: [as always going harder than you need to] Janis: [gotta make people think you used your time wisely] Jimmy: [voting for the first ever love bite to happen rn] Janis: fuckin' vampire Jimmy: subtlety ain't always the way to get top marks Janis: alright 🤓 Janis: but if I die in a freak hickey accident, like they write about to scare bitches, you have to pretend to be devastated at my funeral Jimmy: you'll live, dry your eyes and wipe your mouth, like Janis: you with the blood, dickwad Jimmy: you with the 🍫, baby Janis: 😑 Janis: [but has to check] Jimmy: told you Jimmy: it weren't a pisstake Janis: you are Jimmy: 💔 Janis: could've at least wiped it off for me Janis: make it work Jimmy: I know how much you ain't about being touched Jimmy: I am making it work Janis: don't be a pussy Janis: [points at the love bite like duh] Jimmy: [shamelessly touches it while giving her a look] Janis: [when you just have to be like not phased face 'cos competitive] Jimmy: [when you have to do another even better one as a result cos #same] Janis: [giving him an ear one 'cos gotta one up the situ otherwise why are you doing this boys, we know why] Jimmy: [when you're so into it you have to be like ow to hide how into it you are] Janis: [🙄 but checks it sneaky like] Jimmy: [🙄 back cos what else can he do] Janis: you'll live Jimmy: leave it out Janis: you said it first Jimmy: you were 😢 first Janis: you're louder Janis: how much more trouble are you gonna get me in? Jimmy: how much more trouble do you wanna be in? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gotta return it of course] Janis: [need to hear people coming for the cockblock] Jimmy: [I was just about to say that] Janis: [better get outta this randos room sharpish] Jimmy: [when you can take her hand to run off cos you can play it off like in case someone sees us if she was like excuse you] Janis: [not gonna fight it though 'cos you can just say you were on the level] Jimmy: [we all know what's up] Janis: [are they going to her room or separate?] Jimmy: [good question, do you wanna do any afternoon awkwardness before that?] Janis: [we could do another lunch moment and see if we have any ideas] Jimmy: [I'm down to give them a fake coupley af lunch] Janis: [go cause a commotion honeys] Jimmy: [everyone would be so extra about their everything, I can't] Janis: [it'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [be a cliche and carry her food for her for a start boy] Janis: [sit at a table with like some people but only have eyes for each other, duh] Jimmy: [and they should whisper a lot cos it looks saucy but really they could be saying anything and are probably shading y'all] Janis: [deffo, as well as sharing food like you probably have the same shit on your plates there's 0 need] Jimmy: [#thosecouples at least they are being OTT on purpose like] Janis: [exactly, also everyone has peeped those love bites 'cos they were such a big deal when school like people would be wearing scarves like oh no don't look aha] Jimmy: [Grace about to stab herself with a fork, oh honey just wait til you get kicked out of your room later] Janis: [you gonna be heated and your friends are just gonna be at the door like 👂] Jimmy: [literally she is gonna angry cry and we all know it bitch] Janis: [you know there would've been convos this whole time, we should probably do that] Jimmy: [we totally can] Jimmy: [also he's totally slipping in some actual flirtiness with the whispers and we know it's not just to make her 😳 bye] Janis: [just angrily whispering back like imma fuck you up boy] Jimmy: [like she's not a white ginger where its gonna be that obvious nobody's checking you can calm down Jimothy, you're already also touching her way more than you need to for your own benefit] Janis: [gotta hit him with a footsie moment 'cos there's still nothing more obvious than when you're being faux subtle] Jimmy: [love that for them] Janis: [like you can't be too cray there are teachers in here lmao] Jimmy: [thank god, any actual PDA and Grace would die] Janis: [can have a moment on the way out to your activity try and stop 'em] Jimmy: [they want it as much as their audience does so sorry Mr Lucas you're outvoted, like] Janis: [when i went to camp mary and her mans were so extra at the end they got awarded camp's romeo and juliet so like as long as it keep pg 13 you're alright tbh and he loves it] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [okay trust falls and blindfold assault course moment for the afternoon] Jimmy: [lowkey having fun even though you're meant to be hating it] Janis: [when she'd be freaking out to him on the low like don't fucking drop me bitch 'cos trust issues but you gotta be #goals so he won't] Jimmy: [we know he'd piss about but it's actually fine, he can and will piggyback you in the future babe, he's got this] Jimmy: [#trustissuessquad because likewise would not enjoy that bit] Janis: [poor grace bouta die on the other hand, like courteney let ellie drop and she still doesn't trust her lmao] Janis: [good for tryna get attention like friends help me i'm hurt] Jimmy: [Grace would be living for that drama and also she gonna fuck that boy later so payback for you boy getting put in some vulnerable positions lol] ] Jimmy: [also she can cry off like oh I'm so injured so she don't have to watch the JJ show for a bit] Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Janis: sure there's a defrosting pack of peas going if you want the job Janis: not as popular as she'd like to believe Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: and so's she Janis: never how I'd put it, but no shit on that point regardless Jimmy: hang on, just gonna @ my dad to prove that my little brother ain't the biggest cry baby going Jimmy: She's 🥇 and you're 🥈 Janis: funny Janis: when I have him over for dinner he can see for himself Jimmy: Funnier Janis: i know Janis: not your fault you're 🥉 Jimmy: Reckons the lass who can't do owt first go Janis: the boy who still reckons he knows anything about me when we've been over this Jimmy: You nearly took my 👂 off earlier but I've still got both 👀 mate Janis: if i knew we were aiming to maim, you wouldn't have Janis: still got a 👄 you chat 💩 out of too, unfortunately Jimmy: [when you're trying not to lol] Jimmy: lovely you Janis: [😏] Janis: it's been said Jimmy: I get it, you've got form with the maiming, loads of blind and deaf lads about now Jimmy: Tah for letting me off so light 💕 Janis: well it ain't real, so only fair Jimmy: now I know you're a lass who plays fair Janis: you'd have different bruises to prove otherwise Janis: join her on sick bay 🤕🥴 Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Jimmy: You've gotta stop flirting with me, girl Janis: you'd know that too Janis: if I were Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [throws a 🍬 at her in full view of the bitch he stole them off] Janis: [good thing you ain't concerned about making friends/can catch, just smiling at her like cheers babe] Janis: you feeling left out? Janis: you gotta make a girl 😢 now, yeah Jimmy: Gotta give myself a break from that 👄 of yours Janis: shh Janis: don't say that out loud Jimmy: don't screenshot me and the secret's safe Jimmy: or wait until I say something about exercising your jaw for later and then hit post Janis: 😂 Janis: grim Janis: and unlikely humblebrag Jimmy: There, made a lass cry laugh, that'll do Janis: Soph can consider herself safe Janis: and welcome I took the hit Jimmy: 😇 you Jimmy: I remember Janis: someone's gotta Janis: so unappreciated Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Gimme a sec to find signal enough to tweet it Janis: gotta clue in all your fans that couldn't be here Jimmy: [does do some suitably cringey tweet of course] Janis: 😏 how you still expect to get laid after this holy show is beyond me Jimmy: I don't #duh Jimmy: transferring to that Catholic school as soon as, obviously Janis: they're the worst for it Janis: just say sorry afterward Jimmy: Everyone knows anal don't count, Judith Jimmy: do it for Jesus Janis: 'less it's with another lad, sodomite Jimmy: That'll be why Mr Lucas is my plan B Janis: yeah well, fight yer for him Jimmy: 💪🏆 Go on Janis: [just looking at him like really tho] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [play fight moment] Jimmy: [so flirty, get a room you two, she should win though obvs because he cheated on that race earlier] Janis: time to get some 📿 Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: You ain't getting shot of me that easy, babe Jimmy: Letting you win 'cause of how unappreciated you feel counts about as much as this counts as talking, like Janis: yeah right, whatever makes you feel better, loser Jimmy: Take your hollow victory 😘 Janis: I can beat you at anything Janis: any time, anywhere Jimmy: when it's #fakeforfake Janis: convenient for you, that Jimmy: nowt about this is Janis: 🎻 Janis: take your 👑 crybaby Jimmy: No tah, I'd have to touch your sister to get it Janis: she is a lot like that dragon in shrek Janis: fair Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she'll find the right donkey one day, I'm sure 💕 Jimmy: could save me a bit in 🚬 if she were blowing smoke about Janis: there's one pro Janis: you never talk so she could blather on as much as she likes Jimmy: I talk, just not to you Janis: and no one else here Janis: least of all her, so still counts, don't fight it Jimmy: I'd have to save all my strength to keep her off me Janis: you really saving yourself for marriage, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that's a con, damn Janis: really thought I could get rid of her once and for all Jimmy: don't pretend she ain't the 👰💍 type Janis: obvs, but a massive slag, no child of the lord there Janis: allegedly my fathers Jimmy: My ex was a massive slag an' all Jimmy: I'll make it work Janis: great Janis: get on it then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if you could move again and take her with, that'd be perfect Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: No need to wait that long for your real happy ending then Jimmy: were a bit rude how you've been such a tease about the 💀💀 pact but alright Janis: you'll do yourself in after a few months, max Janis: hmu then Jimmy: as a 👻 Jimmy: least I won't have to touch you and you can't me Janis: weren't planning on it wanker but exactly Janis: everyone gets to win Janis: she's the 🕷⚰ type Janis: love an excuse to cry forever Jimmy: might get her with my dad instead Jimmy: move over mate Janis: and I'm the one who can't follow instructions? 😑 Janis: stick to the plan Jimmy: plans change Jimmy: leave the crying to her Janis: just don't understand why you won't die for me tbh Jimmy: Not as 🧠 as you made out, eh Juliet? 💔 proper tragedy that Janis: it's your fault, you don't stick to your word ever Janis: nothing to do with me Jimmy: Nowt to do with you is right Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: How long is this bollocks gonna go on? I don't need to know how to build a raft Jimmy: or give a fuck if the 🦊 has 🐔 for his tea Janis: how you planning to navigate that sea of 😭 then? Janis: more practical than a maths lesson at any rate Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you're uninvited for a 🚬 Janis: fine, drama queen Jimmy: in a bit 🤓 Janis: just 'cos you can't keep up Jimmy: just 'cause you're working on commission Jimmy: hmu when you need art for your 'more practical than a maths lesson' poster Janis: that's your thing then Janis: makes sense Janis: had to be one of the two Jimmy: 👍 Janis: at least you won't be bringing out the acoustic around the firepit tonight Janis: small blessings Jimmy: only bring the 🎻🎻 me Janis: ha Janis: cute Jimmy: tweet it if you mean it, girl 💕 Janis: k, if you like Jimmy: I'll give it a like, yeah Janis: not even a retweet, cold Janis: do you want them to buy this or nah Jimmy: can't retweet my own praises Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals Janis: oh right, we're ignoring your giant head Janis: fair 'nuff Jimmy: Nobody likes a bighead, you should know, mate Janis: dunno what you mean Janis: everyone loves me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you ain't being on my raft team, FYI Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: drown on your own time, I gotta win Jimmy: I'll already be in sick bay after how #savage that jab was Janis: almost as bad at faking it as her Jimmy: you being the only one that reckons so isn't gonna make me 😭 Janis: awh, but everything else does Jimmy: #whensheknowsyouproperwell 💕 Janis: it's true love 💕 Janis: as far as any of these idiots are aware Jimmy: 😍😍😍🤞😍😍 Janis: alright, this is boring now Janis: no one needs this health and safety bullshit Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: wouldn't have 💀💀💀d you to nod when I first said it Jimmy: 'Cause yeah, that'll be why I'm staying here 🚬 tah Janis: you wanna start agreeing on everything now Janis: not pretending we're married Jimmy: Tah again, this time for admitting I'm right about everything Jimmy: I was just talking about the once but alright Janis: you never said it was boring, technically Janis: and I never said that, get lost Jimmy: I might be lost 🤞 Janis: deep Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: geographically, dickhead Janis: how 😂 Jimmy: can't be lost if I know Janis: I mean, this place is not that big Janis: and signposted to fuck, where've you even gone, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: v helpful my dear Janis: soz I didn't put a chip in your neck whilst you were gnawing on mine Jimmy: It's alright, I know you can't do owt right, forget two things at once Janis: fuck off Janis: stay lost Jimmy: have done and will do Janis: 👍 Jimmy: haunt you later then Janis: not that long since lunch Janis: you'll survive until one of the teachers finds you Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll pray for Mr Lucas obvs Jimmy: probably get Ms O'Brien Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: you know he's already in the water Janis: if he could get away with speedos, he would, whereas her turtleneck could not be higher Janis: unlucky Jimmy: 👙 on him and 🥔 sack on her Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: be why you ain't coming to my rescue Janis: 😏 Janis: obviously Janis: fine, hang on Jimmy: it ain't actually in the contract Jimmy: don't bother about me Janis: whatever, won't be hard Janis: then I'll just go back to my room after, peace and quiet Janis: anyway, her still in the sick bay gives me a valid excuse, concerned sister I am Jimmy: text me when you want me to show up Janis: ha, alright Jimmy: least if she's concussed we won't have to put on as convincing a show Janis: one can hope 🤞 Janis: sadly there's fuck all to damage in her head so Jimmy: Sounding like she will be my dad's perfect match 💘 Janis: does that mean you'll start showing up for dinner and xmas Janis: not part of the deal Jimmy: 🙏 they'll rent a cottage together and leave me the fuck out of it Janis: can get behind that Jimmy: #forlifenotjustforchristmas Janis: make it happen @iantaylor8 Jimmy: 'cause that's such a dream come true, I'm going to sleep Jimmy: don't miss me too much Janis: ..outside? Jimmy: If I get eaten by some animal or owt you can have my 🚬s Janis: 💘 Janis: romance aside, at least you'll be easy to find if you're 😴 Jimmy: Keep my snoring off the socials tah Jimmy: not very #goals Janis: but you look so cute baby Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: look cute all the time Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: goodnight, Jenna Jimmy: 😘 Janis: sweet dreams, dickhead Jimmy: just said they were guaranteed Jimmy: can't stop being a 😇 you Janis: not yet 😈 Jimmy: @ everyone who missed my earlier tweet Janis: yeah don't make me sound boring Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: can agree on that Jimmy: if I wanted boring I'd have asked Ms O'Brien to fake date me Janis: 😏 Janis: she could be a secret freak Jimmy: doubt she's bitten any ears off though Janis: missing out? Jimmy: the benchmark has been set Janis: oh please Janis: you loved it Janis: got the job done, didn't it Jimmy: tonight will Janis: yeah Jimmy: Owt off limits? Janis: you love 🍑 stuff, I get it Janis: but nah, I don't care Jimmy: 👴 love me Jimmy: #soznotsoz Janis: if I pretend to be Mr Lucas, it kinda defeats what we're doing here Janis: soz Jimmy: It's alright, I'm more 👵💕 live out your what would Ms O'Brien do fantasies Jimmy: you started strong, like Janis: admitting I do know what I'm doing? Janis: about time Jimmy: Baby please Jimmy: you wish I would Janis: you wish I'd do the other side 👂 Jimmy: Yeah well fed up of this earring #newschoolnewme Janis: 😂 Janis: bye 😎 boy bye Jimmy: Tah for not having braces, you'd be dangerous Janis: if that's your thing you should deffo go catholic and start your religious training asap Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: and your thing is what, going from 🐷 to 🦈 after a few drinks? Janis: pigs have eaten far more humans than sharks ever have, for one, idiot Janis: and two, you only need to fake like you know exactly what I need Jimmy: sounds like fake news that Janis: your favourite word, that Jimmy: you don't need to know my fave word Jimmy: won't be on the test Janis: just the safe word, sure Jimmy: What's it gonna be? Trust fund's two Jimmy: Pony'll work Janis: great, you're a furry Janis: give me strength Jimmy: You don't need to know my kinks either Janis: stop being so obvious then Jimmy: It's obvious you're turned on by 💰 only trying to be accommodating until you secure Mr Lucas' teacher salary 💍💕 Janis: Obviously Janis: hit up some overworked and underpaid nurses whilst I'm at it Jimmy: Get that blood, vampire girl Janis: more fun making you bleed Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for the #fans that want it Jimmy: I know how much fun I am Janis: I tweeted about you last Janis: it's your turn to tweet about me Janis: if you can pry your hand off your dick for one sec Jimmy: you were last 'cause I always go first Jimmy: pull your weight Janis: not my fault you're premature Janis: well, obvs is but you know Jimmy: If that's the rep you want, Joanne Jimmy: [posts something extra about missing her that's like really hot and a mood] Janis: you care about my rep as much as I do Janis: though that post didn't entirely suck Jimmy: careful, that almost sounded like a real compliment Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend would you be Janis: never Janis: [can find him 'cos you know, has to at some point] Jimmy: I get it, you need the IRL inspo of seeing me now it's your turn again Janis: [😑 but sits down with and has to get close to match the mood of his post to take a #reunited pic] Janis: needs must Jimmy: Fake like you know what come here means and do it properly Jimmy: [When you shamelessly just wanna be more extra] Janis: [defs first lap sitting moment needed like don't test me boy] Janis: there Jimmy: [yassss having such a moment bye] Jimmy: and you reckon I need to be a better trainer Janis: stop comparing me to fucking farmyard animals and dogs Janis: [angry face right in his 'cos you ain't moved] Jimmy: Alright, Juliet next post I'll compare you to a summer's day Janis: hilarious Jimmy: necessary if you're gonna keep making that face Jimmy: can't have it sticking Janis: [makes a face like give a fuck] Jimmy: [😏 because she obvs does or why are they doing this ha] Janis: you're so smug Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt babe Janis: unduly Jimmy: How would you know? Janis: [gestures at him like it's obvious] Jimmy: [shrugs because again being a smug dickhead like you don't know me bye] Janis: [pushes on his chest to get up off him] Jimmy: [offers her a 🚬] Janis: [takes it and starts walking but looks back like] Janis: follow me to civilization Jimmy: Why? Janis: because you're lost Janis: and you could be inside right now, undisturbed, for at least another 45 minutes yet Jimmy: Do the maths on that, did you? Jimmy: not sure if I can trust a #hater Janis: oh my god Jimmy: What? Janis: would it 💀💀💀 you to just come Jimmy: Are you trying to? Janis: what are you talking about now Jimmy: Gonna lure me to my death or not? Janis: tempting as you make it Janis: we have 2 of those shit drinks left Janis: unless there's something better we can do out here Jimmy: Help me up then Janis: 👴 Janis: [but does] Jimmy: Oi, you were sitting on me so long I've got a 💀 leg Janis: if that's how shit your stamina is how we gonna fake fuck convincingly Janis: sort it out Jimmy: you ate half my lunch, sort that out Janis: you didn't need it, skiver Janis: only using your voice, I had to actually do the course Jimmy: I had to keep you alive Jimmy: not as hard as your sister makes it look but still a challenge when you Janis: piss off Janis: I could've done that shit alone Jimmy: bollocks Janis: so could Jimmy: go on then, we'll recreate it Janis: [closes her eyes and struts for a bit like see] Jimmy: fuck that we're going to the course Janis: alright Janis: come on then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [we know the drill, when you're being slow af so he's like do it properly and then you go faster and fall, not actually doing any damage but] Jimmy: [shamelessly helping her up even though she don't need it and being actually worried until you can see she's not hurt] Janis: thanks a lot Jimmy: didn't push you over Janis: [when you start to hobble away for the drama of it all] Jimmy: stop, dickhead Janis: [looking like, what?] Jimmy: [goes and helps her obvs] Janis: I could've done it Janis: you were rushing me Jimmy: Yeah, I were Jimmy: on the ⏲ Jimmy: you said 45 mins uninterrupted Janis: you challenged me Janis: we could've just gone inside Jimmy: you challenged you Jimmy: admit you need me Janis: excuse me Jimmy: you heard Janis: I heard some dumb shit Jimmy: [walks away but not far just to make the point cos she was leaning on him then] Janis: [😑] Janis: stop being a twat Jimmy: you Janis: you Janis: immature Jimmy: I'm a lad, we do it slower Janis: no excuse for acting like a kid is it Janis: [is less 😑 though] Jimmy: What's yours, I'll borrow that Janis: I'm injured, bastard Jimmy: You've been a knobhead since before I got here Janis: and how the fuck would you know thay Jimmy: I've heard some dumb shit an' all Jimmy: I told you, I ain't that new Janis: Exactly Janis: how would you know Janis: [walks off faster now, with as little hobbling as poss.] Jimmy: [stops her so he can try and help her again because not that rude] Janis: I don't need your help Jimmy: I don't need to offer but I am Janis: I'm meant to be grateful, yeah? Janis: do one Jimmy: [shakes his head because no and no and is helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: fine, white knight 'til we're back but then leave me alone Jimmy: [picks her up cos that's permission right there, if you say so boy #problematic and sure if anyone sees them it'll look #goals] Janis: [when you ain't speaking so you don't say no] Jimmy: [casual walk back in silence, obvs he gently puts her on her bed and leaves] Jimmy: [definitely takes a bottle out of the two that are left cos his share even though it's not gonna do fuck all] Janis: [when you're definitely like cheek but not gonna break your vow of silence to argue about that like] Jimmy: [okay so my idea is, he shows up later, knocking on the door which Grace answers so he knows she's there cos this is only gonna work if she was and sweeps in full of apologies like I'm so sorry you got hurt cos of me babe etc (which would kill Grace cos that boy ain't sorry and that's the tea) but critically there is some real sorry if there hidden for him being an actual dickhead, like. Even though we can pretend it's for Grace's benefit everything he's saying and why she has to accept and get back on this fake train] Janis: [good thinking my nugget] Jimmy: [he ain't that good of an actor and anyway he'd make sure she can see he's actually sorry too] Janis: [lbr she's too closed off to want to talk about it so she's gonna take it for what it is, even if this puts them back 10 paces, that's the vibe always] Jimmy: [gotta throw yourself fully into this pantomime so it don't get too real kids, really milking that injury and his nurse role] Janis: [truly, give them an oscar] Jimmy: [nobody give Grace one, cos we all see you] Janis: [when her friends are probably low-key over nursing her now like quit before they bitching to mia about you gurl] Jimmy: [literally that though, she'd have to have given it up which makes it ruder that Jimothy then shows up to do it for Janis] Janis: [oh this poor boy she's gonna be feeling murderous at now] Jimmy: [plus you know Jimmy would be being so hot about everything like 'oh does this hurt, what about this' as a shameless reason to touch up her entire leg] Janis: [just umming and ahhing like you're not sure so he has to keep doing it lmao okay] Jimmy: [Grace's friends just 👀🍿 while they're doing their make up or whatever] Janis: [welcome for tonight's entertainment ladies, be sure to tell the whole world, being that bitch by asking him to get you something like water and then being like 'don't go' 'cos they'd love that] Jimmy: [he should totally get his hoodie for her too which she still has #duh and put it on for her like she's an actual invalid] Janis: [get on the invaleed couch honey] Jimmy: [please say she's wearing the pjs rn for that throwback and mood] Janis: [of course, 'cos bitch actually does the activities so her clothes would be muddy, as if you weren't jello enough ladies like put that perf body away] Jimmy: [this is why as much as Grace wants to share a room she also doesn't because be more beautiful Janis goddamn] Janis: [cuts her hair off in her sleep or smothers her with a pillow] Jimmy: [also he should be ignoring his phone going off (we know its because fuck you Ian) because what would be more goals to Grace and her friends than full attention] Janis: [100%, though she should pick it up (when it ain't ringing like lol) and just go on it 'cos trust with the passcode too omg] Jimmy: [and bonus points that it adds to his new boy mystery like why is he so in demand] Janis: [god bless, when you'd be trying so hard not to lol at them at so many points] Jimmy: [literally do give them an oscar cos I could not] Janis: [kick it up a notch by being like 'you know what would make me feel better' 'cos it's a power move when the girl says it, nick from the act] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaaaas] Janis: [like we said though, actually have to make out 'cos no faking that part] Jimmy: [good thing they've got real chemistry] Jimmy: [just a really epic make out sesh for everyone to enjoy and Grace is like NOPE g2g] Janis: [facetimeing mia rn 'cos they think you too busy to notice and lbr, a bitch would screen record she creepy lmao] Jimmy: [Grace just stomping around fuming getting ready really quick by her standards meanwhile this is the hardest JJ have had to go, don't think about it] Janis: [oh babe you know they ain't gonna stop, meanwhile janis just freaking 'cos she ain't ever been arsed before and it feels good so whoops] Jimmy: [literally no acting going on from him here he's just fully into it cos no need to hold back unlike with the lovebite situ when you can pretend its all for that lot, any sounds you make or things you do] Jimmy: [taking that hoodie off her again like] Janis: [when an audience means you can do more, what is this time period, god bless] Jimmy: [it's my fave for a reason cos who else would even do this never mind take it this far] Janis: [just going for the other ear like she said she would] Jimmy: [at least he doesn't have to act like he's not into it/she's bad at it this time cos barely got away with that the first time] Janis: [there's no hiding it rn, deny it later lads] Jimmy: [that said he'd still have to whisper some kind of pisstake in her ear about it just so she can't be too smug later] Janis: [naturally, can't be too real with it] Jimmy: [loses some of the sass when you're breathless as hell trying to say it though so] Janis: [so you just 😏 now like heh] Jimmy: [just gotta pull her hair so you can pull her into you and a kiss to wipe that smugness off her face like nbd so casual rn] Janis: [when that kiss would be so aggressive bye] Jimmy: [it makes me die because Grace would NEVER let anyone touch her hair, not even the fam and especially not a boy it's like her number 1 THING so she can see that and it can be her cue to slam that door and go honey] Janis: [you should probably leave shameless friends like there's no reason for you to be in here now lmao] Jimmy: [them just hurrying off after her so gutted they gotta leave meanwhile JJ are gonna be gutted that they have to stop] Janis: [soz lads, purely for your audience, remember, at least he can't leave 'cos that'd look so rude like bye we done] Jimmy: [and you know her friends would be loitering lowkey cos Grace is in no mood to be followed and would sister snap so there's the excuse they don't need] Janis: [exactly, you gotta stick it out 'til a teacher finds you and kicks you out tbh] Jimmy: [Jimmy just aggressively drinking that water he got for her #thirstybitch so he don't have to look at her or say anything] Jimmy: [lowkey shady sir like lemme get the taste of you out of my mouth] Janis: [when you get up to look in the mirror like you're remotely arsed what you look like but really you're just assessing love bite damage] Jimmy: [pissing about with the bed once she's off it unscrewing something or whatever so they can pretend they broke it] Janis: [does the 'not bad' face] Jimmy: [shrugs and goes on his phone to check in with both Bobby and Cass] Janis: [wrapping her ankle with some tape she'd probably have brought 'cos sporty bitch not 'cos it's needed but for the look of] Jimmy: [does the face back at her cos good idea and gestures for her to go to the door and listen if Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are being that extra or if they've gone] Janis: [hops over, again not 'cos she needs too but #bants and has a serious listening face on] Jimmy: [tries not to lol for what must be the millionth time honestly] Janis: [gestures for him to come over and nods like they're there but I have a plan] Jimmy: [comes over of course] Janis: [pushes him into the door and starts faking noises like you do the same keep up 'cos that'll shake them to their core but also show 'em that they're still going at it, like] Jimmy: [does as he's told this once] Janis: [least they wouldn't have to do that long 'cos they'd bolt because could not not lol out loud at that] Jimmy: [goes through Grace's drawers, finds her condom stash, opens one and ditches it but leaves the wrapper when it can obvs be seen at the top of the bin] Janis: [when you make a face that's like ew but fair] Jimmy: [🙄 but playfully cos not like you're living for this bit either] Janis: ['could've just pulled out, amateur' but whispering 'cos don't wanna be too loud unless for the right reasons yet] Jimmy: that the fave 🍀 method then? Janis: pretty much Jimmy: bit soon for a fake pregnancy scare Jimmy: and I obvs couldn't 'cause I want you so much 💕 Janis: obvs Janis: c'est la vie, just wanted the trip to Liverpool, like Jimmy: how many of these shall I do? Jimmy: [gestures to the wrapper like] Jimmy: don't wanna have to throw your sister on a ferry or under a bus Janis: [goes over to look how many there are and chucks out two more, opening one] Janis: she'd be buzzin' Janis: know she's the type Jimmy: My ex has got one she's bound to be regretting by now if she's that desperate, like Janis: [looks at the condom then him then down like awks] Jimmy: Piss off, it ain't mine Janis: [when you literally breathe out like phew] Janis: Jesus, lead with that Jimmy: [throws whatever stuffed toy Grace still sleeps with at her] Janis: [clutches the bear to her chest like 😲 faux outrage] Janis: how dare you treat Tuffie like that Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Jimmy: be our secret, yeah? Janis: good thing you ain't a dad Janis: [throws the thing at him] Jimmy: raising two kids, only not with her Jimmy: [throws it back] Janis: [just playing catch at this point, obvs doesn't think he's got two kids like that so is like okay] Janis: explains why you're so knackered Janis: that and all the wild fake sex Jimmy: that'll do it Jimmy: [sits on Grace's bed and starts doodling on the back of his hand with her eyebrow pencil or whatever] Janis: those things are like 20 quid a pop Janis: [is clearly amused by this not mad, goes over to the window to open it and get some air] Jimmy: better start paying me then Jimmy: [does the good idea face again though cos letting that non existent sex smell out] Janis: you weren't fake that good and I'm not fake that desperate Jimmy: [😏 cos yeah he was] Janis: [kicks her bed so he wobbles] Jimmy: [is like OI cos of course his doodle smudges cos he's left handed anyway] Janis: [shrugs like you know what you did but goes over to the mirror where the makeup has been left, finds him the wipes and gets a lipstick and puts it on] Jimmy: [shrugs back cos not actually bothered also actually ambidextrous anyway so you choose to use that hand boy and we all see you shamelessly looking at her as well] Janis: ['hold still' and then covering his face/neck area with lipstick kisses quickly then smudging them with her fingers so they're faded] Janis: evidence Jimmy: you weren't wearing it before Jimmy: don't say much for me if you stopped mid go to put it on Janis: weren't my face they were looking at, new boy Janis: 😍 Janis: trust Jimmy: when it was attached to mine they were Janis: it's only a nude, not fuck off red Janis: wipe it off if you reckon though Jimmy: not my area of expertise tbh mate Janis: 🙄 Janis: then hush Jimmy: til you want me to get loud again sure Janis: they shouldn't come back now Janis: hopefully they have some life, like Janis: unlikely though it seems Jimmy: What about Grace? Meant to sleep here Janis: I'm hoping she's Ophelia'd herself in the lake Janis: probably go in with them now, idk Jimmy: If she's beat us to the 💀 pact, I'm 💔 Janis: gotta get the attention back somehow Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: [leans out of the open window to 🚬 cos can't leave yet] Janis: purely post-coital, obviously Jimmy: you should have one an' all then Janis: [puts fingers up like 'three' but smiles like jk] Janis: go on then Jimmy: [obviously lights her up cos a princess can never fuck opening your own doors @ nick in the act this is the real #goals] Janis: [cheers motion, also it's clearly a small window/small room in general so they'd have to be close rn] Jimmy: [my thoughts exactly, so much of your bodies touching casually] Janis: [when you'd be so aware of it after dry humping each other for however long there] Jimmy: [literally though and she did not have many clothes on at all so] Janis: [still don't rn like hi] Jimmy: [when you remember because you're brushing up against so much of her bare skin so you fetch the hoodie again like a dutiful bf even though nobody's watching] Jimmy: [making her hold your 🚬 while you get it] Janis: [puts it on 'cos lbr you both need another layer between you rn] Jimmy: [lifts her hair out of it for her unthinkingly, how intimate excuse you boy] Janis: [just freezes casually like] Jimmy: [when you just take a step back like] Janis: [just goes and sits on Grace's bed to finish it 'cos whaddya care tbh so unphased by all of this] Jimmy: [he'll be here unmoving like musical statues nbd] Janis: [on her phone seeing if any of the goss has ended up there yet 'cos invariably will, sends him a gossipy ass post with '😂 #missionaccomplished?' Jimmy: 👍 Janis: guess you can go now then Janis: do you reckon Jimmy: [his phone is going off again too but it's just the fam so ignoring for rn] Jimmy: Alright Janis: unless you wanna try to sleep Janis: clearly the teachers are too pissed to be clued in right now Jimmy: [fixes her bed and lies on it] Jimmy: remind me to break it again Janis: will do Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [closes his eyes but nobody falls asleep that fast and we all know it] Janis: [quietly like 'night' and turning the big light off and putting on a lamp by the bottom bunk as if this is such a casual situation] Janis: don't freak if I have to hop up there if Grace comes back, yeah Jimmy: [when the pillow obvs smells like her cos its hers and you're just lying there like mistakes have been made before the thought of having to lie with her has even crossed your mind] Jimmy: even if I do, I'll fake I ain't Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's the spirit Jimmy: 👻 me Janis: [little lol] Janis: lucky for you casper, I don't sleep, so she won't reckon you've kicked me out my own bed or nothing Jimmy: I know you're a vampire already, don't need to convince me, girl Janis: no neck biting Janis: scout's honour Jimmy: Saving it for the bus back, I get it, why wouldn't you? Janis: my parting gift to you, babe Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: well romantic that is Janis: ain't it just Janis: beats whatever the shit giftshop has got on offer Jimmy: So cute you Janis: bullshit am I Jimmy: I'll steal you a pen or fridge magnet, make you believe me Janis: 🧸 obviously needs a friend Janis: cute enough for ya Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: 🐷 🦈 or 🐴? Janis: 😑 Janis: really Jimmy: alright 🧸 if you wanna twin with Grace that bad Janis: fuck off or I'm breaking the bed whilst you're still in it Jimmy: just don't kick it Jimmy: might get more than fake injured Janis: thanks for the fake concern Jimmy: hot as that bandage is, like Janis: vampire, not a mummy, got it Janis: fucking halloween up in here Jimmy: what you wanna be the easter bunny or? Janis: that's the cliche hot option, ain't it Jimmy: give us some 🍫 then Jimmy: she must have it hidden somewhere Janis: you just lay there whilst I look, your highness Janis: [but is] Jimmy: could've asked you to make me a sandwich Janis: you want me to smack you that badly, just ask Janis: [finds some 'cos obvs knows her and throws it up] Jimmy: 🤤😍 etc Janis: I felt that, so convincing Jimmy: I know you can feel every bruise, babe Jimmy: that job's done with Janis: thank god Janis: 😷 Jimmy: 💔 etc Janis: go to sleep, dickhead Jimmy: [as if on cue Bobby's blowing his phone up cos can't] Janis: can get that, like Janis: got 🎧 and not bothered what you're chatting about Janis: sounds important Jimmy: I'm tired Jimmy: [but obvs does because has to] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [casually the longest convo ever, poor bab] Janis: [doesn't listen 'cos ain't that bitch but does take 'em off for a sec to see if he's done but is like oh when he ain't] Jimmy: [why you gotta be so shit Ian it was your idea he went] Janis: [when you can't get your own kid to sleep like] Jimmy: [when you don't try cos you're the shut the door on him type aka my mum lol] Janis: [goes out for a wee, get a drink etc so he doesn't feel rushed or like she would be listening] Jimmy: [when you're done but then can't sleep cos mad at your dad so 🚬 at the window again] Janis: [has brought him a drink too so when she sees he's up puts it on the window sill for him but doesn't speak 'cos can read the room well enough] Jimmy: [staring out the window furiously excuse him] Janis: [a look she knows personally so not going to be up in his face, just gets back on Grace's bed] Jimmy: let's go Janis: okay Janis: anywhere, yeah? Jimmy: [downs the drink she brought him to show it's appreciated thank you bae] Jimmy: Teacher's block first, that's the real holy show Janis: [raises her eyebrows like what you got planned but nods 'cos regardless, swapping her shorts for joggers before they go like] Jimmy: were gonna say put some clothes on Jimmy: don't tell anyone though Janis: [mimes zipping her lips] Jimmy: so many secrets, I know Jimmy: [touches the OG lovebite] Janis: [opens the door with a flourish like lead the way 'cos can't dwell on that/make it a moment] Jimmy: [walks through but then remembers what she said about halloween and runs back to take all the toilet paper he can find like a little nerd] Janis: [😏 wid it, helps] Jimmy: 🎃🧛👻 Janis: [a bit of lowkey mindless vandalism will help take your mind off it] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 🤞 🐰 girl Jimmy: [that and spying on the teachers in general would be fun for that hot goss] Janis: I won't hop, if it's all the same to you Janis: [deffo, we know they're schwasted] Jimmy: what kind of fake injury Jimmy: you gotta commit, Jules Janis: the idea is, no one sees us Janis: if we get caught I'll fall dramatically into your arms, yeah Jimmy: No need Jimmy: [picks her up like he did earlier but with a very different vibe we know] Janis: ['this is committing, yeah'] Jimmy: [a look] Janis: [looking back like half challenge half like what's up before tapping his back like let's go] Jimmy: [boy we get that you wanna be distracted by her specifically in a specific way but please calm down] Janis: [can't let you do that yet lads] Jimmy: [on you go to annoy the teachers and spy] Janis: [at least that'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [before they go back they should see Grace leaving that lad's room but obvs she don't see them] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [gives her a ? look cos maybe he was focused on teacher drama still] Janis: [shakes her head and starts walking not in the direction of the rooms] Janis: got any 🚬 left Jimmy: [obvs does and obvs lights one for her and then himself] Janis: [heading outside and to a bench to smoke in silence] Jimmy: [sits near but not close] Janis: ['just gutted we didn't learn O'Brien's a dark horse, like'] Jimmy: ['she ain't no lightweight, next time'll be the one, heard it's France'] Janis: ['next time then'] Jimmy: ['it's a date'] Janis: ['ain't gonna be dead by then?'] Jimmy: ['Depends'] Janis: [nods like I feel you] Jimmy: ['Taking that as your personal guarantee the poison you got is stronger than the shit they're drinking, don't let me down, rich girl'] Janis: ['it's lethal, trust me' and a look] Jimmy: [nods like good] Janis: ['you should go in, get some sleep at last'] Jimmy: [nods again but doesn't move] Janis: ['want me to return the favour and carry you?'] Jimmy: [😏 'on that proper dodgy ankle, no way baby' and playfully nudges it with his own foot 'sleep on the bus with you as my pillow, tah'] Janis: [shakes her head but is 😏 back 'well soz my tits aren't bigger then'] Jimmy: ['me an' all, would make this shit easier to fake'] Janis: ['you're such a cunt'] Jimmy: [gives her a well I'm soz about that then sarcastic look] Janis: [kicks him but not hard as she gets up 'later then'] Jimmy: [is all oi as per but not really ever mad] Janis: [shrugs like what you gonna do about it and goes off in the direction of a trail to do a casual run at whatever late o'clock this is] Jimmy: proper miss you already 💕 Janis: beam it into the night sky, batman Janis: I already know Jimmy: hang on, trying to do a 😳🐷 Jimmy: you see it yet? Janis: you're meant to be an artist Janis: sort it out Jimmy: never said I were Janis: you did Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I reckoned I could sort you a poster Jimmy: so could my little brother Janis: good enough Janis: get to work Jimmy: very inspiring you Janis: soz I don't look more like a pig Janis: you who keeps on saying it Jimmy: it's you who keeps going pink Jimmy: soz I didn't have a hoodie in that colour Janis: erm not even once Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 😑 Jimmy: You coming to bed or what? Janis: I can't be in the same room as her right now Jimmy: be in mine then Janis: alright Janis: cheers Jimmy: Alright, come on Janis: just gotta circle back Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: such an athlete, I know Janis: I never said that either Janis: but yeah, I won't deny it Jimmy: Don't have to, still got my 👀 Jimmy: not fully closed or owt yet Janis: Impressive Jimmy: can't deny it Janis: 🙄 Janis: [showing up 'cos wouldn't have got too far] Jimmy: [just quietly like 'hey'] Janis: [lil awkward laugh like 'alright'] Jimmy: [and it's back to walking in silence] Janis: [when you don't know if he's giving you his bed or you're about to get in together so you're mentally preparing yourself for either] Jimmy: [when you know you're gonna share (can blame Ollie's presence but we know the truth and that he's sleeping) so preparing yourself for that since you didn't think it through before you said it] Janis: [styling it out like you're way more confident than you are 'cos can be part of the act, hence she'd take her joggers and the hoodie off casually 'cos wouldn't sleep that clothed but waits for him to get in first like your bed] Jimmy: [we all see you taking your top off boy even though there's no need] Janis: [👀 when you looking but try to be subtle please] Jimmy: [she's earned that right tbh he's seen and touched so much of her by now] Janis: [fair] Jimmy: [in you get kids for your single bed forced closeness] Janis: [get used to it tbh, at least he's clearly tired af so can at least pretend he's sleeping even if he ain't] Jimmy: [they are both too tall for this to be comfy you'd literally have to be all over each other] Janis: [again, no denying you're into it, just have to stay quiet if you wanna pretend lads] Jimmy: [the realest] Jimmy: [and don't move too much, don't need to get betrayed by your boy parts there Jimothy] Janis: [as amusing as that would be for us, don't need you to die of shame] Jimmy: [🐘 in the room now and definitely earlier because there is no way you could do all that shit and not] Janis: [she'd be like, don't take it personally, that shit just happens but it doesn't just happen if you're not into it at all, like] Jimmy: [mhmm as much as his internal monologue be like well I can't help that we all know if it was Grace or whoever you wouldn't be feeling it so bye] Janis: [#tea] Jimmy: [if it was Mia it'd go back inside his body] Janis: [lmao you wouldn't know she was in the bed with you tbh] Jimmy: [don't ever wanna think about her hooking up with anyone my god] Janis: [amazing it happens so much] Jimmy: [just gonna think about JJ having a spoon instead thank you] Janis: [indeed, much nicer] Jimmy: [at least he is tired enough to fall asleep eventually because that'd feel like the longest night ever if not] Janis: [let her have some too or rude for likewise] Jimmy: [pray you don't dream about earlier either of you] Janis: [hope neither of you sleep talk] Jimmy: [can't be that cruel omg] Janis: [awks when ollie wakes up like hi] Jimmy: [you gotta run girl, really hit him in those abandonment issues when wakes up] Janis: [see you on the bus] Jimmy: [#awks] Janis: [gotta sit next to each other though, at least faking it for the fans will break the ice] Jimmy: [least there's only so much coupleyness you can do there if you're not making out, no need to go as hard] Janis: [mainly the aforementioned snuggling] Jimmy: [first time he ever plays with her hair in a soft way which will forever be his future fave] Janis: [just imagined grace from her seat like 😒] Jimmy: [honestly, probably crying on the low because contrary to popular belief she is capable of subtlety when needed to protect herself like that] Janis: [but we must know, did he go to the giftshop] Jimmy: [he had to steal her a teddy of some sort or I swear to god] Janis: [she can take a selfie with that then] Jimmy: [probably the kind of crap sort that have a t-shirt on of the place but he didn't spend money on it so] Janis: [it's the #brag that counts, they'd be jel] Jimmy: [exactly and it's points for him with her cos he stole it like he said he would and didn't get caught or anything cringe] Janis: [exactly dr phil dem sneaky feels] Jimmy: [and the reminder of this trip when she thinks its all she's gonna get] Janis: [lmao what a headfuck like you're just gonna pretend you don't know each other now okay lads] Jimmy: [in what world also everyone would be like UM what] Jimmy: [I love how they haven't discussed it once] Janis: [ridiculous] Jimmy: [it's the best thing likewise how nobody's gonna think she's gay after those bedroom antics so there's no reason for her to agree to anymore but she do] Janis: [be more blatant with your flimsy reasoning guys] Jimmy: [you silly eggs] Janis: thank fuck it's the holidays Jimmy: 🙌 Janis: 💃 Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: 👙🕶 Jimmy: 😎 forever obvs but 🎊 that you can't take the piss about it Janis: every ☁ Jimmy: ⛅ Janis: just remember to sign off with a post about how you'll miss me though Jimmy: it's drafted Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I get it, your 👅 is tied around me, babe Jimmy: lemme write it for you Janis: trust falls were yesterday Janis: what are you actually gonna write Jimmy: refresh my feed in a bit Jimmy: it'll be there Janis: shifty Jimmy: I ain't forgot how easily you scare Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: piss off Jimmy: yeah, in a bit Jimmy: hang on in there Janis: do my best Janis: feel 💀 approaching though Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: bit rude Jimmy: bit rude to outlive me when we made a pact Janis: I'm more of a shootout with the law kinda girl Janis: what can I say Jimmy: nowt 'cause you should've said before Janis: don't remember signing nothing Janis: in blood or otherwise Jimmy: 💀💌 got a massive J scrawled on it, my dear Janis: [😏] Janis: fine Janis: see you at the funeral, beloved Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Your sister keeps staring at me Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [such a GOOD long kiss that's no less intense than any of their others but softer and therefore easier for him to say is 1000% fake cos she don't know what a #softboy he is yet] Janis: [you know the bus would wheyyy 'cos nowhere to hide so even if you're caught off guard you've gotta play into it yeah] Janis: surprised she can see fuck all Janis: 😭 Jimmy: thought you were gonna say you blinded her Jimmy: save all your maiming for me, eh 💕 Janis: 'course Janis: doesn't get that biblical Janis: my brother's deaf but that's fuck all to do with me alright Jimmy: sounds fake but alright Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['wipes it off his face with her hands then cups his chin you know what I mean ott cutesy] Janis: rude Jimmy: [giving her those OTT 😍 so fake mhmm] Jimmy: Teach me some sign language then Janis: [says something along the lines of 'I'm gonna maim you' I hope Grace isn't looking that hard, just like excuse me, teaching him swear obvs 'cos first thing anyone does lol] Jimmy: [just having a lovely time learning and loling its fine Grace will be blinded by her tears after that cute kiss] Janis: [when you forget you're putting on a show but this is a mood anyway so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally though, love that for them] Janis: [even the teachers can't be mad 'cos you know they'd be like ooh they know sign language teach everyone 'cos it looks good on them] Jimmy: [Grace is the only one fuming honey, texting Mia like] Janis: [that snek, just gonna keep that 'i fucked your brother' 'til it really hurts] Jimmy: [she's the literal worst and Pablo is too hot for you, girl] Janis: [what a time] Jimmy: [is there anything else we want to happen, besides a dramatic hug goodbye at the end obvs] Janis: [and taking off his hoodie to give back] Jimmy: [but he's like no, boy don't be giving your clothes away she's richer than you] Janis: cute bit Janis: I'll drop it off somewhere covert, like Jimmy: You'll have stretched it Janis: please Janis: you stupid Jimmy: Take the closest thing to a tit compliment you're getting off me and leave it out Janis: 🙄 Janis: you're alright, thanks Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: make sure you tweet that out 💕 so sweet to me, you Janis: you said you drafted it Janis: ugh Jimmy: My bit, yeah Jimmy: [but also sends out that pic she took of herself in the hoodie way back when remember with a post about how he's letting her keep it cos it looks better on her etc] Jimmy: that ain't it though Janis: guess I'll have to put my thinking cap on Jimmy: if you can find one to fit your big head once all the comments, likes and DMs flood in] Janis: nope, I'll take this fame and run with it Janis: all I ever wanted, obvs Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🤩 me Janis: you'll always be my no.1 fan, babe Janis: 😘 Jimmy: Babe OMG 😭💕😘 Janis: I know, so sweet Janis: 😇 you might say Jimmy: You would Jimmy: I'd go 😈 Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: You really want one last 😳 for the road, yeah? Jimmy: You'll always be my 😳🐷, girl Janis: Wow 😭💕😘 Jimmy: I know, Shakespeare's #quaking Janis: yeah, well known pussy destroyer, old bill Jimmy: [laughs] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [showing her how extra everyone is being on that post obvs] Janis: [between an eyeroll and vaguely smug 'cos it's worked but people are cray] Jimmy: [gives her his phone so she can do replies if she wants, enjoy seeing that trust again peeps] Janis: [when you get to be a funny bitch, hands him hers like there's Mia say hi] Jimmy: [obvs does and it would obvs also be hilarious, he'd probably literally facetime her rn like oh hey cos doesn't give a fuck] Janis: [don't get feeling special, babe] Jimmy: [when he's a better mean girl than Mia bye] Janis: [cackling] Jimmy: [If you weren't into him before Janis, you will be now] Janis: she's such a cunt Janis: wish I coulda seen her tryna haul ass up a rock wall though Jimmy: we can 💀💀 her when we get back Jimmy: I'll put my thinking cap on Janis: could blow on her and she'd go tbh Janis: that was ON, btw, don't get ideas Jimmy: I did read it as let her blow me Jimmy: not that ride or die for you, mate Janis: her teeth are probs false so it'd be a good time Janis: 👵 Jimmy: Alright, I'm in Jimmy: [sends a pic of Norman Bates' dead mum in the OG psycho you know the one] Jimmy: Just my type that Janis: why stop at a beej Janis: dress her up and take her for a spin 'round your room, like Jimmy: It's a date Janis: that's why you 😎 huh Janis: psycho eyes Janis: no faking emotion Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't forget my crows feet Jimmy: It's alright though I reckon I look decent for 45 Janis: too cocky for a predator, honestly Janis: 🙄 Janis: got the receipts and everything, boy Janis: man, whatever Jimmy: If you hear sirens, they're for me Jimmy: Calm Mr Lucas down however you like Janis: awh, you wanted to start a ⚪ Janis: that's cute Jimmy: still time or? Janis: he's only got 👀 for me and it's very fucking rude to suggest otherwise Jimmy: Is that what he told you? #awks Janis: shut up Janis: shit stirrer Jimmy: I'm not talking Janis: tryna break me and my mans up Janis: got a taste for it, like Janis: fuck 👻 boy, you're a monster Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: holiday flings been fun and all but he's dependable Janis: penciled in every Wednesday, last period, like Janis: 😍😍😍 #getyouamans Jimmy: the point were I don't want one Jimmy: 🙏 only Janis: the ultimate Man Janis: I get it Janis: 😇 repent, bitch Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: soon be time to be a 😈 and 💔 me Janis: that's the storyline, yeah? Jimmy: Got a better one? Janis: Nah, just wondering Janis: cool, I'll find a willing participant then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [scrolling through the post 'cos lads be horny on main] Jimmy: [when you're so 😒 but you can't let it show] Janis: [dw this plan lasts like 10 secs you thirsty hoes] Jimmy: [don't even go into how triggered he'd be cos how much his ex cheated bye] Janis: [exactly dr phil it doesn't happen for all the reasons and we know it] Jimmy: [boy just shut down over here nbd nothing to see people] Janis: [when you notice but you're not gonna bring that up but you put the phone down like k and go back to chillin'] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's just texting Cass on the way back from her trip, distracting himself with big brother duties, like] Janis: [when usually you get picked up from school after a trip but you know ian ain't coming honey] Jimmy: [literally, he will have to go himself so fingers crossed they get back earlier than her trip does] Janis: [least they at the same school and live near it but still, also janis and grace in charming moods so welcome home! lmao] Jimmy: [Caleb chatting away in the car in portugese god bless] Janis: [when ain't no one talking to you, janis probably didn't wanna get in like oh lads] Jimmy: [break my heart all of y'all, Grace only speaks to be like drop me at Mia's] Janis: [aren't you so glad you had 10 kids looool] Jimmy: [truly]

[blissfully-queen]

Myrika, Queen Of Our Hearts ❤️

pink = dena

purple = janhe

Hi Myrika! I know you’ve been having a bit of a hard time lately and so I wanted to do something to cheer you up so I messaged J and asked her if we could collaborate on a project for you to show you how much we love and care about you. She of course said yes cause she’s a sweetie and loves you so much too!!! ❤️ We are so lucky to have someone as amazing as you as our best friend. You are an amazing, beautiful person who deserves the world and every good and pure thing in it. I hope one day I get the honor and joy of meeting you. I’m gonna give you the biggest hug I can and I’ll make sure to bring you Chick-Fil-A cause that place awesome and you’ll love it!! You’ll love it almost as much as I love you (; And this is J now! Dena called me a sweetie and she’s so lovely for asking me to do this for you. You really have good taste in friends, sis! And she told me you were in a rough time right now and she wanted to cheer you up! And I was like hECK YES. Because you deserve it, sis! You are a wonderful person who deserves every good thing in the world. I want to meet you someday so much and be able to give you a big hug. I love you so, so, so much. Thank you for making me laugh and smile. I appreciate you a lot. I’m gonna stop because I won’t have anything to say in the next part of this project lmao. Good luck with your ships, I’m sending you one in a bit and I probably had sent it already by the time you read this. Love you!

hi bby you cute thing you!! j and i wanted to do this for you to remind you of just how much we love and appreciate you. you are the most amazing friend i’ve ever had in my life and i can’t believe it’s been almost 2 years i’ve known you. i’m so jealous and sad i haven’t known you for longer but i’m so, so, so happy i met you because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. you’ve been there through me through everything. making me feel safe when stuff was happening with my dad, boy problems, scary lab results, hospitals visits, anxiety attacks, boosting my confidence when i hated myself, and so much more. i still remember that one time i went to the er for chest pains in the middle of the night and you stayed up the whole time calming me down and checking in on me and didn’t go to bed until you knew i was safe and was on my way home. thank you for being there for me through the big and little problems. thank you for always being there listen and give me advice even if we know our advice to each other is so terrible. (lmho queens of bad decisions) you are the sweetest, most considerate person i know. you always try to make sure i’m okay even when you’re not. you are such a beautiful soul and i love you so freaking much.

things i love about you and being best friends with you:

~ you are so sweet

~ you’re funny and always make me laugh even when i’m in the worst of moods

~ you’re caring and supportive and loving and just have a big heart

~ you have this really beautiful and calming presence and i knew it and felt it from the second i met you

~ you always listen to my problems (mentor myrika ayyyyy)

~ your sass kills me but i love it sjsjsjsjjsjsjsjs you the sass quEEN

~ you’re creative and sis you’re such an amazing writer like wow one of these days you’re actually gonna kill me with feels i stg but like pop off girl you gonna replace jk rowling one day

~ you love vine just as much as i do if not more

~ d i s n e y & greenhouse academy

~ your taste in music is amazing and i love like every song you recommend me

~ our strange humor and the fact we can be so stupid and weird and not care

~ we rage over video games together

~ chicken nuggets

~ when i’ll bring someone up to you and you’re like “... who?” and like it makes me laugh every time

~ us roasting aiden, jon and travis

~ you were always the queen of ttr fashion shows like hello? a legend in the fashion show world wow

~ us being so confused and making fun of each others countries sjsjsjjssj

girl you’re the most amazing person i know and i have no idea what i’d do without you. you are my sunshine. you cheer me up and make me happy when i’m having a rough time. i love you. thank you for everything you’ve done for me over these past 2 years. you have no idea how much you mean to me. you’re the best. you’re loved, you’re wanted, you’re gorgeous inside and out, you’re gonna have an amazing future and do amazing things. i’m so proud of you and the person you are. i’ve seen you blossom so much and it’s amazing. i hope you’re always in my life and we stay best friends and have our own island one day and are roommates (and they were ROOMATES). i love you my wife, my life. you’re my chicken, my chica, my sister, my mentor, my cohort/partner in crime, my ride or die, my best friend.

j’s part:

Okay sis, I’m sending you Roger Taylor pics while I write you this so if I stop sending them, it’s because of this. And now I stopped bc it’s another day and it will probably look out of context so I’m sorry. And you know my english isn’t perfect and you aren’t here to edit this okay, so I maybe ask Dena to help me correcting this sorry. Dena asked me if I wanted to join to this idea of hers to remind you of the wonderful human being you are. She said you talked to her about me wHAT DID YOU SAY HFIEUHF sorry. And of course I agreed, how couldn’t I? I just wanna tell you how grateful I am because I can consider you my friend, probably my closest friend even! I never had an internet friend before, like ever. I had talked to some people before, but it never lasted. Our friendship did, thank God it did. Because you are a beautiful person, and I mean it. You are always there for me. You don’t know how many times I came from a bad day to my room, feeling like shit, until you would tell me: “Wanna write something tonight?”. I swear my face would light up! And those writing sessions always made me feel better. I felt happy again. You helped me to get through a lot, and maybe you didn’t even realise! And we’ve been friends for what? Three months? And I already feel like you’re one of my closest friends, including my irl friends! Because you deserve it, you are great. I can’t even express myself in how much I love you, how much I enjoy talking to you, how many times you made me laugh even if you couldn’t see it. I know that here on the internet, when somebody says “I love you” or “You are beautiful” you could feel like they don’t mean it actually. But I really do, I need you to know that. You are a beautiful person, who’s full of life and came to make my life a little bit brighter. Lmao I sounded so poetic there, are you proud of me? I’m so excited to be your friend and see where does this friendship takes us. And I hope we last a lot of time being friends! (wE WON’T IF YOU KEEP EXPOSING MY IRONICAL FICS ON TUMBLR OK jk I loved you exposing me <33). I really hope you know how much you are loved. You are a great girl who deserves the world and I can’t wait for us to meet each other everyday a little more. I’m so happy you found me, I’ve been blessed with your friendship. And don’t forget how good of a friend you are, how much of a great person you are, and how beautiful you are. Please don’t forget it. I love you with all my heart. PS: btw, I sounded pretty emotional a few times but I’m listening to Foreign Sand by Roger while writing this like can you blame me? (listen to it if you haven’t yet).

My list of my fav things about you, myr <333

~ Your sense of humor

~ It’s a cliché but we botH LOVE QUEEN you don’t understand how much that means to me. I can tell you how much I need a roger taylor without feeling embarrassed.

~ The fact that Misfire comes up to every conversation of ours at least once.

~ You’re such a funny person liKE I CAN’T HANDLE IT

~ The fact that you love my fics like how can you like that rubbish.

~ You always support me on writing.

~ The fact that we both agree on that Man On Fire’s video is a threat to humanity.

~ The fact that we both agree on “Deacy”.

~ You being so supportive with me in a lot of senses, not only the writing thing

~ The fact that even if we are miles away from each other and in two extremes of the world (wTF), you still get to make me smile.

~ I LAUGH EVERY TIME I TALK TO YOU IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY.

~ We are both sad potatoes and we can relate on each other in a lot of things.

~ You’re so kind, so nice, so compassionate. Maybe too nice. And I love you for that.

~ The fact that we had each other to scream over Rami’s winning on the Oscars like really thank God I could scream with you.

~ The fact that yOU WROTE ME A FIC WITH ROGER YOU TOOK YOUR TIME TO MAKE ME A GOOD PRESENT it’s the cutest thing someone ever gave me for my birthday, even if you didn’t have to. I read it all the time!

~ You say “I love you” a lot to me. It makes me smile every time.

I love you, you’re loved, by Dena, by me. You’re a lucky girl for having us as friends. I love you so much, you better smile at least once today, because I don’t doubt your smile must be so beautiful. And I’m so lucky for getting to know you as well <3

WE LOVE YOU,

Dena & Janhe

[turtlethor-blog]

@jacquesooo remember when you said I wouldn’t do it?? Well, I’m going to but in headcanon format bc yall are too much of a mess for me to write without commentary LMAO. I haven’t used tumblr in so long, you should thank me. 

Anyway here’s your indulgent love simon au, imma blast 

also how come you don’t have a ship name, im lowkey salty

First of all, Jacqueline’s obviously-yes-obviously-not Simon and Luisa’s gonna be Bram, they just have to switch personalities (GET IT B/C SIMON WAS JACQUE((LINE))S)

Anyway, we know the story, Jacqueline sees luisa’s tumblr, she becomes Whipped™, she admires the blogger from afar as you do

But HECC she doesn’t know that this bitch is gonna become her bitch soon enough b/c look ma they go to the sAMe sCHoOL 

And at the same school, they hate each other b/c Jacqueline’s a lil overachieving freshman piece of shit & luisa’s a loud ass mexican that’s sick & tired of everything

10 dollars that jacqueline’s group talks smack about luisa’s tall ass in jacqueline’s language class (”she wears ripped jeans all the time, it makes her seem taller, s o   W h Y”)

bonus if luisa does the same tbh (mexican people are so mean, the fuck)

Jacqueline opens up Luisa's tumblr (not knowing it’s irl luisa, you goddamn slow cabALLo), she’s in the ask box, and look she’s typing out her feelings on anon b/c she’s a disaster gay but she’s trying!! 

Guess what, the ask goes through (”your ask has been received :)”)

Jacqueline screams for the next week or so b/c Luisa replies but luisa should make her scream someway else soon enough u know? 👀

So you know, she’ll just keep sending anons b/c she can and she sucks

On the other hand, Jacqueline tells tumblr!Luisa a funny story that there’s a school!Luisa at her school and “holYYyy god she’s so annoying, and she looks like you from your selfies but you’re prettier b/c school!Luisa looks like an orc dw dw” (omg fdsafdfsg)

And tumblr!Luisa tells Jacqueline “there’s a different Jacqueline at my school tOO and she’s so stuck up and she’s so short and i know you are too but it’s okay, you’re better than the irl Jacqueline i k N o W”

Jacqueline sweetie i know you say Luisa’s dense but you’re McSlow and she’s McDense (even in this au)

You guys talk about mango discourse and Luisa’s drinking habits (as in water not alcohol sdffdsf) and that applies in this au too

Plus I’ll never forget when Jacqueline called Luisa “50 shades of puta”

No emails, just anons with the panda sign off

Just slow slow burn in the form of two slow gays b/c they know they live in the same area but they won’t tell each other where 

you’re probs wondering: who tf is martin here?? easy, themselves

?? why??? BECAUSE JACQUELINE WON’T TELL LUISA SHE’S GAY FOR HER AND LUISA’S TOO LUISA TO COME OUT 

but for angst reasons let’s say for some reason they connect two and two because a Martin has told them :0

and Jacqueline realizes the Luisa she hated at school b/c she was too tall and too annoying was the same Luisa she was sending anons to

and Luisa realizes the Jacqueline at school that was constantly sideyeing her and giving her attitude was the same Jacqueline that told her ily and goodnight everyday

Honey you know they both aren’t functional as it is, this would destroy their brains and hearts

Idk what the hell would be going in Luisa’s life but Jacqueline’s fuckboy friends find out 

You know that scene in love simon where Simon’s friends get mad at him but he holds it together until he realizes he lost Blue, and that’s when he starts bawling?

That would be jacqueline

are we sure that this is an au anymore wtf

BUT jacqueline is stubborn as hell and she won’t talk to luisa online and at school no more (so in a sense she’s also like bram 🤔)

and it hurts her like hell b/c it shows, she’s not enjoying going out or playing lacrosse no more b/c she loves luisa sm so like,,, wyd pretending you don’t

So this lil shit gets love sick and thinks about kissing luisa on top of a ferris wheel or you know just,,, gay in general

But you know whats even gayer than a ferris wheel?? STARGAZING

god bless tumblr friends

they set them up somehow, it’s an awkward car ride to the hills, but when they get there the stars were so bright and jacqueline automatically points out which constellation was which like it was second nature

luisa thinks she’s a dork

jacqueline thinks she’s a lot more interesting than every star in the sky

but she’s also vehemently aware of the hand holding hers (gay)

they’re cuddled at the back open trunk with a warm blanket and speaking so damn softly to each other (gayer)

and they say “i love you” a couple dozen times and they kiss and everything feels fuzzy & warm & sweet (gAYEST)

like lemme paint a picture for yall: they have the same weighted blanket draped on their shoulders and they’re kissing so softly b/c they were so scared of losing each other and jacquelines fingertips are dragging themselves under luisa’s shirt even tho she knows full well luisa’s ticklish

it’s such a fuzzy & warm feeling to be kissing someone you know full well is your soulmate, just saying

and it feels even greater knowing you’ll never lose each again

probs how bram & simon felt, but just saying, gay it up even more, yall

they don’t leave beside each other for a very long time

the next day they go buy iced coffee together 

[evalocity]

Can you say something nice about mutuals you've interacted with who you think are closest to you? Can be as many as you wish, it's time to spread positivity😊😊

This is a wonderful idea boo, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to do this :) 

(it might be a bit long lmao here we go!)

@the-fierce-fangirl Ria, you were my first tumblr friend on here, in March 2018 we’ll have known each other for a year now ! I knew no one on here when we met, you reblogging my post was ?? a blessing ! someone noticed me ! and we started to talk, and you’ve been the purest and sweetest friend I could ask for. My birthday present ? That you freaking sent me ? I don’t deserve you. I just...there’s no words dear friend, to tell you how much you mean to me ;-; One day I’ll come to Poland and we’ll have tones of fun ! xoxo

@jasonblossomsghost Or, I remember when we first started talking. I was shy at first, but you seemed sweet, and honestly bless those swedish fish for starting our friendship. You’ve always been such a good friend, one that I don’t need to talk to 24/7 to know I can count on, and one that I’ve always wanted to defend because oh my god why are people in Kansas so annoying lmao. You’ve educated me on subjects that I knew nothing about and you’ve been there for me in dark moments, and I’m so so grateful. xoxo

@sapphic-spook Rose, you’re an amazing human. Idk if I could handle your aura irl, because just online you are such a ray of sunshine. You’re so nice and wise, your words can calm me down and make me feel better like no others can. Hell the apocalypse could me happening and you’d tell me to chill and I would :’) nah I think you’d know better than to tell me that x) but seriously, you’re amazing, and I just need to thank you for handling my panic attacks like the boss you are. I hope you’re happy, whenever I think of you I’m sending you tones of positive vibes because that’s what you deserve. xoxo

@addcolortomysky Em, it’s been a while since we’ve talked ! But that doesn’t mater, whenever I do an ask game I remember how much you love those and I tag you because making you happy makes me happy. Thank you for sharing my crazy interests, sharing them with you was hilarious ! I miss you, sorry for sucking at staying in contact :’) xoxo

@crazyreader1899 Hi Matata ! We’re mutuals and it’s been a freaking while since we’ve talked (I suck, I know). But nevertheless ! You know that meme where a guy is standing in an empty auditorium and waves and the text says something along the lines “me at that mutuals who likes all of my posts” well every time I see it on my dash, I think of you. Seeing you in my notifications always make me smile because you’ve kept up with my shit for so long now ?? You’re great, thank you, ily. xoxo

@izzyd03 Izzy !! You’re such a sweet human you know that ? I feel like I don’t do enough to let you know how much I appreciate you caring about me, like when you’d wish me good luck on my finals because you’d remember when they were ?? I’ve cherished those good lucks my dude, you’re such a good friend. Also your Instagram ? On point girl, you’re beautiful, you go. xoxo

@sugasugahanihani Bia ! Babe omg ;-; First of all, I want to apologize to you for being the worst™ and never keeping up with texting you I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me but please never doubt how much I care about you because you are !! the best !! I’m so dumb Idk how to express this friendship, you just mean so much ? You are so freaking sweet and I can rant to you and I can talk to you and you’re always there like omg I do not deserve you girl, you’re such a blessing. xoxo

@mr-bushido Hi boo ! We’ve been mutuals for hum a freaking while ?? I wanted to take a minute to thank you because you’ve actually helped me discover a bunch of k-pop groups and songs ! You’re a sweet mutual and I enjoy your blog very much. I hope you’ll have an amazing year 2018 :) xoxo

@yoonminfaketexts Hii ! I absolutely love your blog omg :’) I feel dumb rn because we don’t know each other but ! We’re mutuals and I really appreciate what you post so thank you for making me smile you’re not unnoticed xoxo 

@moonlightkth Bel !! Can we take a second to bless your fake texts because 1. They’re amazing 2. Without them I wouldn’t have known you ;-; Sharing BTS and Got7 with you ? An accomplishment™. I consider you like a little sister and I hope you know you can always count on me. xoxo

@nooowestayandgetcaught Hi Rie ! First, it’s been a while since we’ve talked I’m such a mess, but I wanted you to remember how great I always thought your writing was, as an author you’ve been an inspiration and I’m so proud of you ! Plus, you’ve educated me on some stuff, always being respectful and kind. Thank you so much. xoxo

@clap-your-hands-yo Kensley ! My fave NCT blog ;) and one of my fave blogs actually ! You’re hum so freaking talented ?? Like honestly when God made you he dropped all the damn Talent™ bottle Istg :’) When I think about you, I know it’s stupid but the first word that comes to mind if “perfection”. I’m proud of you for your grades, for the work you’re putting in learning my language, for being so sweet, for being you. xoxo

@lovingyoongi Hopi !! Babe ! I’m so glad everything is going well for you in Korea, oh my god. We’ve always simply shared our love for BTS together, but I really care about you and man, your happiness is mine ok ? Have a blast in Seoul, you deserve it all. xoxo

@emmcfrxst Pasc :) Idk if I should talk to you in French or English ? That’s kinda awkward :’) OH WELL. You are such a sweet human omg, always taking the time to make people feel better, always being so considerate, always trying to fight against problematic stuff to create a safe space for your followers. You’re awesome ! xoxo

@mintysugasweet Rae ! You’re a new friend, but you’re a friend I’ve liked immediately. You are so so nice ! Texting you has made my days better, would it be by sharing my theories with your (amazing, incredible, awesome, breathtaking) au, simply talking about our mutual interests or learning more about your experiences in Korea. I don’t remember how I’ve discovered your blog but the least I can say is that I’m so thankful I did. xoxo

@exoverdosed Chelsea !!! My fave blog on this hellsite omg ;-; Idk what to say without getting emo just thank you for being so great ? Your blog lets me keep up with our Kings, and your tags make it the funniest thing ever. I can always count on you for moral support and to help my clueless ass about what’s going on in the k-pop world. Ily, ot9 rule and yass you’re cool keep up being you. xoxo

@sugahobiby Lune, it’s been a while since we remade, I remember our first interaction being me trying to send you positive vibes because you were stressing out about uni. Look at you now ! I hope you know you can count on me to help you in all the ways I humanly can, would it just be someone to talk to. Also I live for your snapchat stories lmao it’s a blessing :’) xoxo

@noona-clock Hi you two ! I wanted to thank you for all your great reactions and fics, I always enjoy reading them they’re soft and really great ! You seem so nice and I hope you both have an amazing year 2018 :) xoxo

@baekphia Sophia, I’ve been following you for a while and when we became mutuals I was SO freaking happy ! You’re nice, you’re so much fun and it reflects in your blog that I enjoy a LOT. Have an amazing year 2018 filled with your best friends (EXO), your mutuals and followers, your sister and Bakehyun with his possible new album !! xoxo

@minnie-rocker-xx Hi boo ! We haven’t spoken that much because idk if you’ve guessed but I’m a MESS at keeping up but you seem so nice already omg ! Why don’t you send me a message detailing all of your interests so we can talk about them ? I’d love to know you more :) xoxo

@softminmin Tila, mY GIRL. It all began when I was just a casual fan of your fake texts, and then you noticed me and I proudly became your cheerleader™ (I still am btw no one is taking that spot.) ! And now we’re friends and omg Ilysm. It’s like we don’t have to force any conversations we just naturally connect. I feel like a copycat lmao because your feelings and your thoughts are the same as mine ? It feels so great to be able to share with you, honestly everyone deserves someone like you babe. Good luck on your finals, I know you can do it ! xoxo 

IT TOOK ME A FREAKING WHILE, and I hope I didn’t forget anyone !! I love you so much, not just my mutuals but all my followers and all the ones that I follow ! THANK YOU ANON XOXO 

[headcanon-baby]

dear mr. min (fuck me, fuck you) pt. 3

jimin regrets everything in life. including sending the lengthy, hormonal, angst-filled shit letter to his future boss aka Agust D aka ‘mr. min’ aka, “fuck you joonie hyung, why can’t you have uglier business friends????” AU that literally nobody asked for.

or

a series of ‘professional’ e-mails and texts between park jimin and a certain mr. min (as well as their totally useless ‘best friends’).

chapter summary: agust d doesn’t give a shit, doesn’t give a fuck. (except he does when it comes to cute boys in B&W filters and adorable Tinder profile descriptions) (again, this chapter is brought to you by very-done receptionist lee jihoon. he regrets everything, including fucking his boss at the age of 17.)

(one anon asked me why they couldn’t read the 3rd chapter of this fic so i clicked on the link and found out the url suddenly couldn’t be found. so here’s the reupload!)

to: <agust d ride my d> from: <parkjimin>

subject: i'm so sorry!!!

dear mr. min,

this is jimin (the one who sent you the disrespectful email). and i would like to formally apologize for the way I reacted earlier this morning. i was drunk and while i know that that's not a good excuse for drunk texting I would like to say I'm really sorry again and please don't think badly of me because of this. if it's possible, i'd like to make it up to you with some coffee?

(i promise i'm not trying to bribe my way into your good books. i swear.)

yours truly, park jimin

"boss, you've got an important email."

"who is it? i'm busy."

"scrolling through tinder and super liking every gay guy you see isn't what i'd call 'busy' boss."

"get to it, brat."

"it's that guy again. he asked -"

"just reply with something to show that i actually care."

"you su -"

"just go," yoongi waves him off as he aggressively super likes a hot guy with a B&W filter and the cutest eyesmile he'd ever seen. what was his name...? 'park jimin'? and what was up with that cringey 'i was born in busan first'...?

(still. how darling, yoongi thinks as his stare lingers a little longer at the way the man's tongue darts out of his teeth and honestly dies a bit inside because wow.)

how fucking adorable.

"who's it this time, boss?"

yoongi sighs deeply, which could mean two things: either namjoon broke something extremely, irreplaceably expensive (eg. yoongi's phone, yoongi's patience etc.) or -

"yah, i want to nail him to my desk, jihoon-ah."

jihoon - predictably - cringes at the sentiment. he knows what it's like being 'nailed' to min yoongi's goddamn work desk - or the aftermath of it anyway. there's lube running down his ass cheeks, his hair stinks of spunk, and at the end of the day he's given a lingering reminder of the 'event' in the form of dark hickeys splattered across his neck and finger-shaped bruises on his hips.

he fucking loved it. but he's never going to tell his boss that. he already had enough stroking of his oversized ego.

(and his diiiiick lol.)

"that's nice boss."

"how come i've never met such a person in my entire life, jihoon-ah? it's a conspiracy, i tell you. so many gay fish in the world and i fall for the bisexual one."

lee jihoon is speechless when he glances at his boss's new phone from the side and silently, wordlessly wonders if his boss even bothers to look at his email recipients.

"boss - "

"shh. go back to work jihoon-ah. your boss is in love."

"..."

...if you even bothered to read your emails, you'd probably love him - and his ass - even more, jihoon thinks dryly as he works up a devious smile and waltzes back to his desk with a plan forming in his mind.

"have fun on tinder, boss."

"oh trust me, I will."

jihoon can't help his smile turning into a full on smirk as spins in his chair, cracks his knuckles and double-clicks on park jimin's latest message.

now, who said being a receptionist didn't have its perks?

time for some fun, jihoon awakens his inner taehyung and cackles evilly as he begins rapidly typing back a reply.

to: <parkjimin> from: <agust d ride my d>

subject: re: i'm so sorry!!!

dear park jimin-sii,

it's alright! i forgive you. everyone's entitled to a day of bad life decisions. i have them 24/7. in fact, why don't we reschedule your job interview to next week, so i can take you up on that coffee date? i've heard of a great cafe at garosu-gil if you're interested. (it's a cat cafe, actually. if it's too expensive for you i could pay for most of it. i'm not a stingy old grump like you think i am.) hope to hear a reply from you soon!

P.S. you have a great ass. do you model?

yours, mr. min

family support group

squishy mochi <file attached>:    

to: <parkjimin> from: <agust d ride my d> subject:re: i'm so sorry!!!

omg hYUNG HYUNG

squishy mochi i DON'T KNOW??? WHAT TO SAYY??? like THANK GOD?? HE'S NOT ANGRYY??

squishy mochi BUT DID HE REALLY JUST COMPLIMENT MY ASS???

wow, fantaestic baby to be fair, you've gotta great ass

jungshook i can attest to that

✧✧✧prince of shade✧✧✧ too much information my child

squichy mochi well you dumped this great ass so sux to be you <:

jungshook oh my god LET IT GO

i'm your hope J-HOOOOOOOOPEEEE is anyone going to mention how jimin wrote 'sucks' as 'sux' like some emo teenager

joon.ie how odd

joon.ie yoongi doesn't normally reply back unless its on tinder and he's got a hmu and then he'll reply even faster than how long jungkook lasts in bed

jungshook h HYUNG

✧✧✧prince of shade✧✧✧ BURN

i'm your hope J-HOOOOOOOOPEEEE as quoted by tae ""throwin shade further than my GPA""

wow, fantaestic baby ^^^

jungshook #stopbullyingthemaknae2k17

squishy mochi #how about no lol

squishy mochi back to the point

squishy mochi should i??? like??? reply?? what if i get rejected??? i don't think my body can handle another hookup with a questionably 'platonic' best friend again

wow, fantaestic baby ooh, is it my turn yet?

wow, fantaestic baby *still midkey offended that u picked the baby over me last time*

jungshook oi

squishy mochi i was thinking more of hoseok hyung actually

i'm your hope J-HOOOOOOOOPEEEE AW YEA BOIIIIIIIIIII

squishy mochi nevermind tae you can go next

wow, fantaestic baby rEKT

i'm your hope J-HOOOOOOOOPEEEE :<

squishy mochi don't be sad hyung i'll give u a bj later okay? (´ ꒳ ` ✿)

i'm your hope J-HOOOOOOOOPEEEE ♥♥♥♥♥ thanks minnie ily

✧✧✧prince of shade✧✧✧ sometimes i forget minnie isn't actually a pure cinammon roll irl

squishy mochi wanna fuck my thighs tonight, hyungie? (´ ꒳ ` ✿)

✧✧✧prince of shade✧✧✧ yes please

joon.ie hey

squishy mochi threesome? (´ ꒳ ` ✿)

joon.ie that's better

jungshook what's wrong with this fucking family

extras:

"you really need to stop hanging out with jackson-hyung, hyung."

"really, why's that mingyu-ah?"

"your evil smiles are starting to look like his."

"i'm OFFENDED," jackson shouts over from the 'engineers meeting' (which was code for poker with doritos as betting chips) with an exaggerated body wave.

jihoon wants to reply when bambam the cleaner slides out of the closet and dabs aggressively with jackson.

"lmao," joshua from the technical department says loudly as he passes by not giving a fuck.