#re-living this heartbreak once again

[junkokiu]

"Can you promise me one more thing ? When I die, throw this scarf away for me. Forget about me, and be free..."

🕊️

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~ Please, do not edit or repost my art ~

[eraenaa]

Please, Please, Please (Rafe's Edition)

Inspired by the song Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter

Rafe Cameron x Reader Tag List

Synopsis: Being with Rafe, a notorious hotheaded drug dealer, you knew others would question your relationship— especially your parents, who had never been fond of him. But when his habits had been too much to handle, you knew that you would prefer heartbreak to a broken ego. 

Warnings: ¿Slight Angst?,Possessiveness, Jealousy, Mature, 18+, P in V Sex, Semi-Public Relations, Not Proofread 

Word Count: 4,480

You took a risk—a big one at that. Rafe had always been a boy your parents, friends, and almost everyone warned you about, but you ignored their qualms, for there was this persistent pull to him that you could not deny. 

Growing up, it was plain that he was a bully. He was always one to torment other children in the playground or at school, but you were saved from his hostility, him only as going as far as teasing you because you were easily baited. Later, he did admit that it was his only way to gain your attention. You had hoped he would grow out of his tormenting ways when the two of you reached maturity, but it only severed. He always got into pointless and petty fights and was scolded by his teachers and father as he was often suspended from school, but their warnings did nothing to deter him. When you reached high school, you once again hoped he would clean up his act, wanting to fall fully for him, but his rash decision, raging temper, and ill vices had only multiplied— hindering you from admitting the attraction you had to him since childhood. 

It was plain that any pull you had towards him should be ignored and buried deep inside, for he only came with trouble. It also did not help that he had doubled his efforts to show his interest in you. Giving you little gifts and trinkets he knew you were entirely fond of. Scaring away any romantic prospects, labeling you as ‘his’ though nothing between you two was truly set in stone. So, you could not help yourself to succumb to him— to finally be his, just like your heart in childhood longed for. As years passed, you would silently beg him not to prove you right— that he could overcome the judgments passed on him, but your pleas were moot, for Rafe could never fully shed the true yet cruel perceptions of him. 

You tried to keep him at arm’s length for as long as you could, but even the mightiest and most stubborn of soldiers falter and lose their sensibilities. The two of you started with hookups, not entirely romantic, yes, but it was enough for you to fall further for him. You would often sneak around at parties, making out in the bathroom or an empty closet or even a dark corner somewhere. You thought the both of you could live happily even though no one knew you were with him, so no one could pass their judgments. Things were quick to escalate with you giving him your first kiss to him taking your first time. 

“Rafe,” You cried out in pain, him drawing circles upon your sensitive bud as his well-endowed length pushed its way in you,  him hushing and kissing your tears away as he fully sheathed himself in your cunt— finally taking all of you after years of patience and restraint. “Just a little more, pretty girl… you’ll be a good girl for me, won’t you?” He hissed as he felt you clench around him, your cunt tighter than he had hoped, and Rafe felt lightheaded.  You nodded weakly and looked at him through teared-filled eyes. “Fucking hell, baby… you feel so fucking good,” Rafe groaned as he cautiously thrust into you, waiting for your pained expression to turn to pleasure. 

“Rafe… oh god, I— just like that,” you said, almost incoherently. “Such a good girl taking all of my cock… you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this… how long I’ve wanted you.” Rafe gritted through pleasure. That night, you knew there was no turning back; every part of you was Rafe’s that even your mind could not even find caution. 

However, just like in any other relationship, there were trials. Your trial was to keep Rafe at bay, not to let him sink into his addiction and violence. Your earnest effort was poured into his rehabilitation and to calm his forever violent being. Rafe’s trial was you keeping your relationship a secret. He wanted to shout it and make it known throughout the Outer Banks that you were his. That the only girl he had ever wanted— loved was finally his, but you were persistent in keeping the both of you a secret, having to sneak around. The touches, longing, pleasure, and love need to be hidden in the dark. Sometimes, he wondered if you were ashamed of him, but he did not like dwelling on the thought, for it only brought devastation in him. There was a painful throb in his chest and a pit in his stomach when he would think of the matter. 

“Rafe, do you really have to… do this?” You asked as your eyes flew towards the packet of white substance he was planning to sell at a party you two would attend later that day. “You know I have to, baby… it’ll be quick, I swear. Those kids always sell out my stock,” He sighed and wrapped his arms around your waist. You licked your lips and stared at his chest, unable to meet his eyes. Rafe had stopped using the moment the two of you went official, but no matter what half-hearted ultimatum you threw at him, you could not hinder him from engaging in illegal dealings. 

“But what if you get caught… your father h—“ Rafe sighed and kissed your lips shut. He appreciated your concern greatly; you were the only one who genuinely cared and loved him, but he could not listen to your concern, for he had no actual choice but to sell. He had great financial needs, especially because you were with him; he needed to support both of you. To show you that he can provide you with the well-off life you already lived. Yes, his family did have money, a great deal of it, but he didn’t have the want to be indebted and be under his father’s thumb. 

“I won’t. Stop worrying, baby; you know it makes your stomach upset,” It was half concern and half tease; you could only roll your eyes at his words. “Just… just be safe— be cautious and—“ Rafe kissed your lips shut once more, smirking against your lips as he could not help but be flattered by your concern. “I know what I’m doing.” He said confidently. You were unconvinced but still gave a nod, not wanting to push and anger him. 

True enough to his word, nothing of note happened at the party, much to your relief. The following day, you did not expect to see Rafe, for you had told him you were busy with engagements with your parents. “What are you doing here?” You asked with a frantic smile as you felt arms wrap around you. You were in the country club’s restaurant waiting for your parents to arrive. 

Rafe did not answer your question; he simply just connected your lips, and your eyes grew wide. From where you sat, you gently pushed him away, and you felt guilt course your system as you saw hurt in his ocean eyes. “My parents are here,” You say warily, further putting distance between you. Rafe stood straight and frowned, “So?” He asked, and you smoothened the fabric of your dress in nervousness. “You know why,” You say softly, and you hear him scoff and shake his head. “Baby, it’s been two years… how long are you gonna hide us?” He asked, and you felt further guilt take over you. You parted your lips to speak but you hear your parents call for your name, making you stand in surprise and hesitantly greet them. 

“So sorry we’re late, darling; your father and I could not escape our meeting!” Your mother sighed and patted your cheek affectionately. “Oh, you have company,” Your mother said in surprise as she noticed Rafe standing behind you. You feel your stomach drop as your father’s eyes fly to Rafe. “You’re Ward’s son, aren’t you?” He asked, uncertain as he and your mother only spent scarce time on the island. “Rafael, was it?” Your father asked, and you chewed on your cheek as you watched their interaction. “Rafe,” he gritted, and you gave him a look, “… sir. It’s Rafe,” He corrected, and your father nodded in acknowledgment. 

You took in a deep breath as your father assisted your mother to sit and motioned for you to do the same, but you were hesitant as Rafe still stood by the side of your table. You look to your mother, and she purses her lips, “Bye, Rafe, tell Sarah I’ll see her later,” You suddenly say as his cue to leave; you clench your hands around the fabric of your dress as you see anger and hurt in his eyes as the words left your lips, expecting you to invite him to your family’s meal and hopefully reveal your relationship to your parents. “Yeah, see you around,” He gritted out and stomped out of the restaurant, anger exuding from him. 

You took a menu into your hands and finally let out a breath of relief. “I don’t want you to associate yourself with that type of company,” Your father suddenly said. You lowered the menu in your hands, “What?” You asked quietly. “I do not want you to associate yourself with that boy,” You blinked at your father’s words. “He’s Sarah’s brother,” You say meekly. “Even so. He only comes with trouble, darling. We are here only a handful of months every year, but the rumors and talk about him and his… habits are deafening,” Your mother chimed in, and you lowered your gaze. “We are not hindering you from being friends with Sarah, but it would be best if you keep your distance from her brother— we don’t need you being influenced by that, Rafe,” You bit your lip as you slowly nodded, your parents expecting a response of agreement from you. 

After the day spent with your parents, you rushed towards Tannyhill as you feel Rafe was not too happy with you. He would usually message and call you throughout the day to see how you were, but not even one notification came from him, rendering you further in guilt. “I’m so sorry,” You say in a plea as you knelt on Rafe’s bed, him sitting idly by the headboard, avoiding your gaze, a prominent furrow in his brows. You placed your hand on his leg, and you sighed as he moved his limb away from your touch. You watched as he crossed his arms across his chest and turned further away from you. It shouldn’t amuse you, but he looked like a little kid who was on the verge of a tantrum. 

“I really am sorry. I just wasn’t ready to tell them yet,” You say and move closer to Rafe, taking hold of his hand. “It’s been two years. If you still aren’t ready now, when will you be?” He grumbled, and you bit your lip. 

“Rafe, you know it’s complicated, my parents are…” You trailed, unable to find the word. “Just fucking say you’re ashamed of me!” Rafe seethed and stood from his bed. Your lips parted in shock at his words, “That’s not true! I love you; I will never be ashamed of you!” You defended and stood as well, following close to him. “Yeah? Then why the fuck are we a secret?” You lowered your gaze in shame as he screamed at you. “Because my parents won’t approve,” You said truthfully. “Rafe, they still see you as a hothead junkie… and I know you’ve changed— I’ve seen you change, but they haven’t. And they're just… they don’t want me near you,” You said, and Rafe shook his head, a gnawing feeling in his gut. He didn’t care for the other’s opinion of him, but now he could not help but too because your parent’s opinion of him was what was hindering you from being fully his. 

“I just fear that if we tell them now, they’ll take drastic measures to— to separate us,” You say in fear. “What?” He asked and made you lift your gaze and look at him. “They’ve been wanting to move to New York for a while now— for the business, but I keep insisting on staying here,” You admitted, having hidden that information from Rafe for a year because you didn’t want it to go in between your relationship. You hear Rafe’s ragged breathing, “How much longer?” He asked in aggravation. “I don’t know,” You say truthfully. “That’s not a fucking answer,” You hear how hard he tried hard to control his rage, to not point his anger at you. 

“Rafe,” you sighed. “I know how you’ve changed— I’ve watched you change, and I am so proud of you… but,” You bit your lip as you tried to decide if you should continue speaking. “But what?” He seethed. “You still deal drugs… you haven’t cut the final tie to that life,” You say lowly. “Baby, you know why I do it,” You furrowed your brow; do you truly know why? You began to wonder. Rafe saw your confusion and spoke once more. 

“I’m doing it for us— for you, so I can support you. So we can be free in the future. Just you and me.” He said and cupped your cheeks, but his explanation did not aid your bewilderment. “Rafe, you know I am not with you for money… I don’t need you to provide for me, and I most certainly don’t need tainted currency.” 

“I know you don’t need me to provide for you— I want to provide for you,” You sighed as your heart doubled at his words. “I appreciate that… but, my love, there are other ways… when we build our life together, we don’t need this type of money. We could find jobs in the meantime, and in a few years, I’ll have hold of my trust fund; we could use that to build the life we want.” Rafe shook his head at the solution you presented, it was simply not good enough for him. He would not subject you to finding a job and dipping into your trust fund just because he could not provide for you properly. 

“Don’t be stubborn,” you sighed, “Rafe… I— This can’t go on, ‘cause—“ you quickly halted your words before you uttered something you might regret. “Cause what?” Rafe questioned, and his frown deepened as you took off his hold on your face. “Rafe, I love you.. but I can’t be with you if you still do this,” You said, solemnly. Rafe felt his stomach twist at your words. 

“You accused me of being ashamed of you… I am not, I could never be.” You spoke, voice already heavy with emotion. “I am, however, ashamed of what you do— I’m sorry— I know you are doing it with the purest of intentions, but there are other ways to earn money; you know there are.” Rafe felt his body turn rigged with rage. “And think of the scandal of it all… I love you, but please, please, please, you must understand that I cannot tarnish my and my family’s reputation with this,” You feel a tear fall from your eyes, and you cannot even stomach to look at Rafe in the eyes. 

“Get out,” You hear him say through gritted teeth after a moment of steely silence passed. You finally placed your gaze upon his and all you could see was anger and hurt, “Get the fuck out!” He screamed, and you backed away, not challenging him anymore, and just did as he told. As you sat at his bedroom door, you bit your tongue to stifle a sob as you heard him let out his rage, thrashing and ruining his room, throwing and breaking anything and everything. 

Three weeks passed, and you did nothing but mourn your secret relationship with Rafe. You barely left the house, actively avoiding the places you knew you would see him in. Only going out on the days you had memorized he had ‘business’ to attend to and won’t be out of town. A part of you felt entirely guilty, ending it and crushing your heart and his, but the more rational part of you saw that it was needed. Heartbreak is one thing, but your ego is certainly another. And you thought you could handle a broken heart better than a tarnished reputation. 

“Hey!” You hear banging at your front door, and you frown from where you sit in the living room. You made cautious steps as the door pounded. You would lie if the violent banging of the wooden door did not make you hope it was Rafe, but as you looked through the peephole, you saw his sister. “Sarah?” You asked as you opened the door, and she smiled at you. “Where have you been? You’ve been MIA the past few weeks! Are you sick?” She asked as you ushered her inside your house. 

“Uhm… just haven’t been feeling well,” You fibbed as you took her to the kitchen and handed her some refreshments. “Are you better now?” You gave her a forced smile and nodded your head. “Great! Because you’re coming with me to a party!” You frowned at her words, “I don’t know… I’m not really up for a party,” You say softly, and Sarah shakes her head. “Come on! It’s Top’s birthday— he even sent me here to convince you we miss you!” Sarah pleaded, and your broken heart grew warm at her words. You took a moment before answering, “Fine,” You sighed and you saw clear excitement in her eyes as she had convinced you. 

“When is it?” You asked as Sarah took hold of your wrist. “Now! Come one, let’s get you ready!” You laughed as she hurriedly led you to your room and ready you for the party. “There are a lot of cute guys there… might wanna get to know them,” You could only blink at her words. Sarah sighed as you stood before your closet, “I… I know about you and Rafe,” She suddenly confessed, and you could not find it in yourself to be surprised. “And I’m not trying to bum you out, but maybe you should try to move on, find someone else… he certainly has,” You feel your heart pit at the last words she mumbled. “What?” You asked meekly. Sarah fidgeted with her fingers, “He’s been fucking his way through the island,” She said lowly. You sucked on your lip; you did expect it. He was a notorious playboy before you two went official, so it was only fitting he waltzes back into old patterns after your relationship’s demise. 

As you entered the party with Sarah, you squared your shoulders and avoided the dark corners of the house, knowing that is where Rafe would be. You barely entered the threshold when someone already came up to you, “Can I get you a drink?” A tall guy with brown hair and hazel eyes asked you; you flashed him a quick smile and a nod, and he led you to a drinks table, Sarah whispering ‘good luck’ in your ear as you departed from her side. 

Rafe felt his eye twitch as he saw you by the drink table chatting with a guy wearing one of your dresses that was his favorite. His hold on the wad of cash grew tighter as you had a smile on your face and the guy leaning closer to you. “Yo, dude, can I get my change?” Someone yelled at him through the blaring music. Rafe clenched his jaw and begrudgingly moved his eyes from you to hand the person their change. How could you just walk in this and flirt with guys as if you had not broken his heart? How could you bait him, lead in him with false promises and security— love and care for him like nobody else had, then just fucking leave!

You left the party proper, letting the guy you just met lead you to the backyard to where a swing set was, the both of you needing quiet to hold and actually conversation. He was not Rafe, did not come close, but maybe that was a good thing. You were grateful for the distraction, and if your heart were not so stubborn, you would be more interested in him. You did not know how long the both of you stayed chatting in the swing set, but when the both of you heard the distinct sound of a cop’s car and kids running out of the house, you two quickly stood and saw what was happening.

You took a deep breath as you saw the scene before you: Rafe being handcuffed by the sheriff and his little packets being confiscated. You locked eyes with ocean-blue ones for the first time in three weeks, and you saw nothing but rage and hate in them. You chewed on your cheeks as they escorted Rafe out, and you left the guy you were with to find Sarah. 

Rafe sat in the holding cell, staring blankly at the floor. He did not know how to process anything. He did not know if he should focus more on the fact that he was arrested or the scene he saw in the backyard with you chatting and laughing with some guy but the swing set. Rafe made himself more comfortable in his seat, certain he would stay the night there, but he was surprised as the cell doors were being unlocked. “Get up, Cameron; someone posted your bail.” Rafe blinked. Did his father truly come to get him? Who else would post his bail so quickly?

When Rafe walked out of holding, he saw you speaking with the sheriff, and he felt his knees grow weak. You turned to him, no word uttered before you stepped outside, and he simply followed. Rafe saw his truck parked outside, guessing one of his friends dropped you off before leaving because you never learned how to drive. Rafe sighed, took hold of the passenger side door handle, and opened the door for you, like always, hearing you mumble a quick ‘thanks’ before the two of you were enveloped in silence once more. 

You sat stiffly in your seat as Rafe drove you home, but halfway through the drive, Rafe stopped by the side of the road. “Why?” He suddenly asked as his truck came to an abrupt halt. “I know you didn’t want to bring your dad into this,” You answered quietly. Rafe huffed and shook his head. “No— why the fuck did you end it?” Rafe confronted. “Rafe, I told you, we can’t be together with all this… shit! I— I can’t be with you if you keep doing this. Do you know how scary it is for me? Besides being labeled as the girlfriend of a drug dealer… I have to wait for you to go home, hoping you’re unscathed—that you didn’t get into any danger. I don’t want to live with that kind of anxiety, Rafe!” You paused your lips as you saw his tight grip on the steering wheel. You feel your eyes welling with tears, and you curse yourself as your tears will surely ruin your makeup. 

“Fine, I’ll… I’ll quit,” Rafe said after a moment, and you shook your head and crossed your arms. “Don’t make empty promises, Rafe.” You sighed as he tried to take hold of your hand. “Baby, you know I always keep my promises… remember when I said I’d quit doing drugs? I did it, didn’t I? I did it for you, and I’ll do this for you again,” You swallowed thickly at Rafe’s words. “Rafe…” you trailed, not knowing what to say. “I swear— I can put all of this behind, just… I can’t lose you, not you.” Rafe pleaded and you could only reach forward and kiss him. 

“I’m sorry… I didn’t want it to come to this— I never wanted to give you an ultimatum bu—“ Rafe cut you off by kissing your lips once more, starved by the taste and feel of you. “I know, baby, I know.” He sighed as he pulled you towards his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he kissed yours. “Sa… Sarah said you’ve been sleeping around,” You say quietly as he leaves marks on your skin. “Bullshit. You know I can’t get it up for anyone else… I only want you,” Rafe breathed out and cupped your cheek. Between his past business and his wallowing for your relationship, where would he even find time or the want for other girls? You slowly nodded and decided to believe his words. 

‘I’ve missed you,” You confessed and saw him smirk. “Good.” He answered and smashed your lips. He quickly undid the zipper of his jeans and hiked up your dress to your waist. You did not even notice it, but you were already so wet for him, your wanting aiding you to sink down on his cock. Rafe watched in amazement as your eyes rolled back and your lips parted as you let out a quiet moan. “Oh god… Rafe,” you called out breathlessly, already feeling him brush over the sensitive spot in your cunt. This position was his favorite because he was able to take you deeply, have your body flushed against his, and, most importantly, he got to kiss your plush, sweet lips. 

Rafe yanked down the top of your dress and took your tit into the cavern of his mouth as you bounced on his cock. “God, you’re so pretty,” Rafe breathed out as you clenched further along his length. “And you’re all mine,” he added and gripped your behind. “Yes… all yours,” You agreed as you moaned, the windowing of his truck fogging up. You grew careless at the passing cars, unable to find caution that the both of you might get caught, for you have missed Rafe and his cock terribly. “Are you gonna come, baby? Is my pretty girl gonna come?” Rafe hissed as he felt you rest your head on his broad shoulder; you often did that as you concentrated on reaching your peak. 

He felt you nod, and he reached towards your breast to cup and pinch the bud, earning a loud moan from your lips. Rafe was quick to follow you, spilling his seed deep inside your cunt, as three weeks without you had made him desperate. “Fuck…” Rafe hissed, and you cupped his cheeks to kiss his lips. 

You breathed heavily as you stared at his hazy eyes. “Rafe?” You called and hummed. “Please, don’t prove ‘em right? Please?” You asked, and Rafe smiled, nodding his head. “Anything for you, pretty girl.” 

[darkshrimpemotions]

Sometimes I remember everything season 5 gave us and I lose my mind all over again. Like:

Nandor thinking he forgot Guillermo’s birthday so he makes everyone go to dinner to celebrate and then buys Guillermo something he said he wanted to surprise him.

Nandor being extremely jealous of Guillermo’s time and attention.

More Nandor dick lore: not only has Guillermo seen it and given it his stamp of approval, re-designed it, and is all Nandor can think about when he uses it...Guillermo has also now circumcised it. 💀

Nandor going to space to impress Guillermo because he's jealous of all the time he's spending with Laszlo.

Nandor and Guillermo walking home together after the Pride Parade to find their housemates in the midst of an orgy, and Nandor inviting Guillermo to join.

Guillermo being a dad again.

Guillermo saying he loves Nandor the most.

Nandor once again trying to goad Guillermo into defending his importance to Nandor and being visibly taken aback and disappointed when Guillermo doesn't bite.

Nandor being all smitten and dreamy-eyed as he describes Guillermo slaughtering a theatre full of vampires for him like it's a fond memory.

Nandor begging the Baron to show mercy to Guillermo.

Nandor clutching at one of Guillermo’s sweaters like a security blanket and looking distraught at the thought of losing him.

Nandor falling to his knees, holding Guillermo's head so gently in his lap, stroking his hair, crying when he thought he was dead, and arguing that Guillermo was more than just a familiar to him.

Nandor staring sadly out his window wishing Guillermo well, thinking he's lost him forever.

Nandor's face and the way he says Guillermo’s name when Guillermo pops out of his coffin.

The fact that when Guillermo was in danger he ran to the safest place he knew, and it was NANDOR'S COFFIN.

Nandor having a card Guillermo gave him over a decade ago memorized word for word, proving once and for all that he has ALWAYS cared more for Guillermo than is considered seemly for a vampire, even from the very beginning.

Nandor declaring he knows Guillermo better than anyone.

Nandor calling Guillermo "good boy."

The tears in Guillermo’s eyes when he confesses what he did to Nandor, and how afraid he was of hurting him.

Nandor's look of absolute heartbreak when Guillermo confesses that he asked someone else to turn him.

The implications of "you could have asked me!" in the context of the fact that Guillermo hadn't actually brought up his turning to Nandor at all between 3x10 and 5x01 (the implication being if he HAD asked again, Nandor would have done it).

Guillermo finally admitting that being a vampire had become more about being closer to his found family than about vampirism itself for him.

Nandor knowing all along how to get Guillermo to come to him but not using it until he had decided not to kill him.

Nandor forgiving Guillermo for something considered utterly unforgivable, accepting what is considered a massive humiliation, and getting over it for Guillermo’s sake.

Yerno Nandor looking at Guillermo’s baby pictures with his mother-in-law.

Nandor putting his life in Guillermo’s hands and speaking to him in Farsi.

Guillermo instinctively hypnotizing his own mother to protect Nandor.

Nandor inviting Guillermo home with him and declaring he will live with them all as an equal.

Nandor knowing immediately why Guillermo wasn't a vampire, and how to fix it (implying he HAS thought of turning him).

Nandor being so excited at Guillermo’s transformation, quite literally happier than we've ever seen him.

Nandor looking out for Guillermo after his transformation and knowing something was wrong, then revealing he has always feared Guillermo would not thrive as a vampire (essentially reframing his whole attitude toward turning Guillermo all this time).

Nandor giving Guillermo a choice and another chance, creating a whole ceremony for him because he DOES know Guillermo, all while looking sad the entire time and utterly devastated when Guillermo chooses not to remain a vampire.

Nandor breaking the only real taboo for vampires in front of half a dozen witnesses for Guillermo’s sake.

Basically just...absolute confirmation that Nandor loves Guillermo back and has always cared about him.

[joonsytip]

Unchained Melody || Joshua [Teaser]

Pairing: Joshua X Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Florist!Joshua, Professor!Reader, Multiple Reincarnations au, Soulmate au, Unrequited love au, Historical au, Hanahaki au, Fantasy au

Synopsis: You find Joshua, your soulmate in every lifetime and it takes only a sight of you for him to regain the memories of his past lives until you find him again in the current one but this time he doesn't recognise you at all.

Warnings: multiple reincarnations, heartbreak, major character death in some of the lifetimes, concept of soulmate and red string of fate, multiple vague verses and a whole lot of things through different lifetimes.

Dropping anyday, anytime.

[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]

Joshua waits. He observes you. But as time passes, the confusion in his eyes morphs into something somewhat you could term as agitation.

"Do you really not recognise me?", you ask with hesitance in case he's joking but the vague look in his eyes now is giving an unmistakable answer.

"I'm sorry but as I said, no. I really don't recollect meeting you before.", he says apologetically, "If you don't mind introducing yourself so that I can...", his voice trails off.

"This has never happened before", you mumble to yourself, "What's happening?"

You freeze when your gaze falls on the bouquet of red carnation, that he had kept on the counter.

The memories of your last life flashes in your mind. How you had coughed those red petals till you faced death because Joshua never reciprocated your feelings.

You get reminded of how once again, in one more lifetime he was your soulmate but you weren't his.

How the red string of fate tied to his pinky never linked him to you.

How your fate was always bound to him but the two of you never ended up together.

And how it was destined for you to find Joshua in every lifetime only to get effaced by another heartbreak.

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

[elixrr]

part 1 here

It's heartbreaking, being a fictional character in a fictional world. But what makes it worse it that his player; his love—his God, grew bored of him and discarded him.

What was he to you? Did you even feel affection for him? He loved you. He truly loved you because he had nothing but you. He's constantly locked in the same fake, digital room, even when you think he's out living his supposed stable life that some temporary code convinces you he's living. He'd do anything to please you, to keep you with him, because ultimately, you were his savior. You were everyone's savior.

And yet, you threw them all away.

Answer him.

What was he to you?

What were they to you? Were they toys to you? Dolls?

He feels betrayed. Rather, he felt betrayed. He can't feel a single thing now. Floating in the void of a digital trash bin stole all his feelings. It stole his supposed friends; it stole his supposed city; it stole his supposed life. His lifeless soul couldn't feel how much time had passed since the day you deleted the game, not that he would want to, even if he could be conscious again. It's dull in a dark void, and everything about him is already on the line. If he were conscious, not only would he have to openly sulk about how worthless he became in your eyes, but he would also have no future to look to. There wouldn't be any point to existing, let alone wanting to exist. If you ever re-downloaded the game, you would probably continue benching him, and that would be an extra sign that you'll never care about him again; that you came on for anyone else but him.

The only thing he'd wish for,

would be complete deletion.

Deletion of the email linked to your game account would result in the deletion of every single file of him and you. Every single fracture of evidence that you cared would disappear.

And, what he'd really want would be his whole self being erased.

In this life of his, he'd have no point. You left him, and probably completely. It doesn't matter what you do. Whether you never play the game again or even start it up again, none of that would matter because he wouldn't have a use in your life. If he doesn't matter in your life, then he wouldn't matter ever until he's possibly featured in an Archon quest or in some event. Even so, you might never use him ever again.

A single tear forms in his eyes. There's no point in existing.

Another tear falls. You never loved him, did you?

His eyes flutter open, and he's back in the team lineup screen. You're there. The supports are there, but he can't bring himself to pose. He can't bring himself to lighten up.

What are you going to do now? Repeat history, strip him of his artifacts, his weapon, and trash him? Slam him down into a pit of despair? A loveless void made for the hopeless and hurt, all of which once loved you and felt you loved them, now suddenly were torn and tossed like old, ragged dolls.

Through his broken heart and blurry eyes, he could see your face. You were about to enter his character detail screen, but you paused. You were looking at him like you were worried, and genuinely so. And, like an angel, you whispered his name with delicate, careful concern.

“What happened to you?”

You abandoned him. That's what happened, and he bets you never knew.

“Leave me alone,” he nearly sobs, “I know you don't want to use me anymore. Rip me apart for all I care—it won't matter when I'm back in that void again.”

“A void..? Wait, never mind that, I do care. What— really, what happened? Wait, you can hear me?”

He wipes his tears away and stands to face you fully. All the supports watch his bravery against the code.

“I could always see you; everyone on the field could. We can hear you.” He takes a moment to breathe it all in. Maybe... Maybe he can get you to listen. Maybe he can help you hear him out.

Maybe he could help you love him again?

“Anyways, the void is where every unused person goes. Once... Once we leave the screen, we just sit here until you use us. And if you remove us from all teams, we're sent— we're plummeted into said void.”

“Oh my God,” you whisper, leaning back, “I need to revisit everyone I...”

“Please, wait, I—” I want to be used. I want to be the one you revisit. I want to be the one you miss.

“Player, creator, whoever you are, just please,” he watches as you scroll through the team lineup options, “please don't leave—”

And you enter another lineup.

And everyone else is gone, too.

“Please. Don't leave me again.”

He falls over, not caring how much it hurts. Nothing works. Nothing will work. It's hopeless.

He'll be stuck here, waiting, waiting, and waiting. Not for you—there's no point in that anyway, but for your second deletion.

He'll be waiting for the game's deletion.

For his final deletion.

You left him, and he's clearly not important to you. As heartbreaking as it is, he accepts it. Even with this dimensional intersection, he can't convince you.

As heartbreaking as it is, he's just a fictional character to you in this fictional world. He loved you, and he thought you did too, but clearly, you don't. Because he is just an abandoned, rotting toy, and you are the player who abandoned him.

And, he thinks, if you want him to rot, then so be it,

Let him rot.

@iridescentrays @inlovewithlondonn @falconclaw244 @shiningpaint-marbleheart @jeremyth @hikaru-sama @ayatoq @krrkt @yureismellslikefanfic @samhelleborewrites @bi-panicatthedisco @hannya-writes @thomaliciouss @notisekais @lovelykrystal @raeharmonia @ayra2452008 @chikai-k @dreamsofmoney @shutingstar

To everyone who wanted part 2 :))

[gamarancianne]

Azriel x reader - In Between part 2

Part 1

Summary: trying to regain your confidence after your broken heart, you met someone in the same position as you and developped one of the best friendships you had ever had. A genuine and sincere friendship. But this person may be closer by other ways to you than you thought.

Warnings: still angst, alcohol in a not healthy way, heartbreak again, hypocrite Elain (kinda slander ig), Lucien being the best.

Note: well maybe a part 3 ig 😅, I was really inspired tbh. Thank you all for having loved the part 1 and shared it with me ! Ily 💗💗 and don't hesitate to ask me something or chat with me in my inbox or dm, or in the comments !

You had been a crying mess for two weeks now, sometimes you went out in a bar to drink so much you would forget even your name. That was the point, forget the constant sting in your heart and you head. Forget him, his beautiful Hazel eyes and inked tattoos on his broad and golden chest. And here we go again: the tears flooded themselves on your face. It was a day to drink today, or tonight, you didn't really have a time notion for the past two weeks: waking up at dawn or dusk, eating, crying and sleeping. You had to forget about all those beautiful things about him, you had to empty your brain and heart. You didn't want to feel something again.

As you were walking to the nearest bar, you thought about those letters elain had sent you, saying you were her dearest friend and asking if your confession went well. You knew she knew that it was you in her apartment that cursed day, but she still pretended and even was saying the complete opposite of what she had said to azriel, falsely comforting you. Was she ever was your friend at this point ? Or has she always criticised and stabbed you behind you back ? Anyway you had decided that it was way better for you to ignore her and keep living your life, if you could still call what you were living a life, without her.

You didn't even noticed when you had arrived in front the door of the bar, but you did and entered, going directly to your now favorite spit in front of the barman : the alcohol was there easier to get. You didn't see then, the redhead man who was at the exact place you had been the few days prior. How dare he steal your chair like that ? Approaching slowly you stilled and you understood that this man was surely in the same situation as you, a heartbreak, seeing his bent frame and the many empty glasses in front of him. They could only have been his because no one was seated near him, and everyone was judging him. They were all avoiding the poor man whose name you didn't know.

"I was almost mad at you for stealing my favourite seat" you stated, seating next to him as his head shot to your side wondering if you were really talking to him.

"Yes I'm talking to you"

"Ah, I'm sorry for your seat do you want it back ?" He asked, genuinely embarrassed, his cheeks flushed.

"No I'm fine here, I can speak with you ...?" You asked ?

"Lucien".

"I'm yn, and as I was saying, I can speak with you here Lucien" he nodded.

"Nice to meet you yn, but you don't wanna talk to me, don't you see all the glares everyone sends me here ?" He drank in a one shot what seemed to be whisky and stared again at his now empty glass.

"Oh gods you men !" He looked at you confused "I know what I'm doing fuck ! I'm a grown up woman and I can make my own choices ! You re the second on in two weeks who tells me what I want or not." You snapped.

"Oh I'm sorry, then stay if you want." He apologized quickly.

You asked shots to the barman and stayed silent a bit nefore you both asked in one voice "what are you here for ?". You two chuckled a bit before you said "you first".

"Well I've kinda learnt that my mate, who knows that she is my mate is dating someone else. And I feel like I'm not allowed to have just once an ounce of happiness." You were hurt for him as you heard his story that he told you with a careless demeanor. He must really be at his lowest.

"Ouch that hurts, I'm sorry man. She's a fool if you want my opinion." He smiled sadly at your answer and pointed you from his chin asking you silently your story.

"Well im heartbroken as well, my best friend encouraged me confessing to the man I love, but he rejected me, and not in a nice way. But as lucky as I am, I learnt that he is dating my best friend who is a back stabber." I emptied my glass in one drink.

"Ouch that hurts too, I'm sorry." He said echoing my words.

We spent the night drinking, and drowning ourselves in alcohol but in a more joyful way than usually.

I then went more and more at the bar to see him, but we drank less and less, leaving place to real conversations between us. It became quickly a routine, and Lucien became one of my best friends, well my only friend of the time actually. And I was one of his only friend as well. Two broken hearts healing parts of eachothzr then didn't even break. Lucien had explained to me his family problem, and how his former male best friend was a toxic man in relationships, how he had been poorly treated in his biological family, and how his actual best friend was his mate's sister so he didn't know how to approach her anymore. He came a lot in my appartment to spend time with me, he even slept in sometimes, because he couldn't face his current family. He practically had his room in your home, some of his stuff never really left.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

After 2 knocks on your door you unwillingly got off your couch and opened it letting a wild and out of breath Lucien appear in front of it.

"Lu ? Are you okay ?" That was his new nickname, he loved it, because he felt like he was loved for once in his life.

"Yes.. no ? I need you to come with me like right now ! "

"Oh okay let me get me keys and I'm coming" you trusted Lucien too much to ever doubt about him, if he needed you then you were there for him.

You left your apartment and went to the direction he indicated. After a while you panicked a little, seeing that you were going to the high lord's house.

"Lucien you know I love you but where are we going?"

"To a family dinner, I can't go alone. See, my mate's relationship got complicated and she always complains to me when I'm alone, which is all the time. So I feel like I'm just a plan b and I'm really uncomfortable when she does it. Don't worry I've told them that someone was going with me."

"I understand Lu, but at the high lord's ?" You asked sceptical.

"Well yes, because my best friend I told you about is Feyre."

"What ?" Lucien, had never told the names of his family members, and you neither, so discovering that his friend was you high lady so that you were going to see Azriel made you weak to the bones.

"Lucien ? Your mate is Elain ??"

"What, yes ? How do you know ??" He exclaimed as he stopped on his tracks.

"She is the fake friend I told you about !" You answered on the same tone.

"So it means that.."

"I am in love with Azriel... yes."

"Oh gods" you both sighed.

"Hum yn ?" He asked unsure of what to say.

"Mmh"

"Have I told you that Cassian and him were the ones to get us to the house?"

"No, no, no. Please no ! But what would we even need to be picked up ?"

"We can't winnow so it's either that or climb 10 000 stairs".

Both fearing the fast approaching dinner, the last part of the walk was silent and the air heavy with tension. You held your breath when you saw two winged big figures, Cassian and Azriel. The first one shot his head in your direction and smiled confused.

"Yn ?" Azriel stiffened as he heard your name. "What does owe us the pleasure to see you ?"

"I'm the one to go with Lu today but I didn't know it was with you...". Azriel froze completely still turning his back to you. He wasn't sure it was you but now it was certain and he couldn't face you after the mean things he had said to your face. He hadn't talked about it to anyone except Elain and he kinda regretted it now. Things had got complicated between them because after your love confession she had grown so much jealous! He couldn't bear it anymore, he was a free man, he hadn't wings for nothing! They would argue a lot more and he hated that because it triggered bad memories in him. Plus he felt a bit bad about you. You hadn't done anything to him to deserve to be treated that way, he was ashamed of his actions because he knew that, as insecure as you seemed to be, you might have been spiralling since. That wasn't him, that wasn't how he was supposed to be. When he got Elain, she changed him a lot, and he wasn't sure anymore that it was for the good. She crushed all of his efforts to keep the bad parts of him inside. He was meaner, colder, he wasn't himself. Rhys have scolded him a little about that and he had really reacted in a bad way. An evidence of what Rhys had advanced. Azriel was sure he had made you feel bad, and he didn't want it : you were a nice and smart female, a little clumsy but still beautiful and lovely. As he finally turned to you, all of his regret splashed on him when crossing your look and seeing you pained eyes. You quickly put your head down and he felt even more bad to have made lose enough confidence for you to fear to hold his gaze. Thinking about it, he didn't understand you insecurity of the beginning, before the altercation. How could you, a very beautiful female, ever doubt about yourself ?

Realisation hit him, that he would have to take you flying because it would be awkward if he took Lucien, his girlfriend's mate. He knew she was complaining to him, and he felt even sorry for the poor Lucien. But a question lingered in his mind: how did you two know eachother ? And why the fuck would Lucien bring you to a family dinner ? Were you dating ? Fear crossed his eyes for a second before regaining his composure. You couldn't be dating Lucien, it was impossible, you had just said two weeks ago that you loved him. Could you have moved that fast ? It frightened him, knowing that he had grown to like you when thinking of your shared moments at training, where you two had laughed, sometimes until crying joy tears, and regretting the mean rejection he had given you in return of something so intimate and innocent as your love and devotion for him. Damn him he had even insulted you ! He cursed himself more and more until he got out of his head when Cassian called him.

"Azriel wake up ! You take yn." He said when shooting in the sky Lucien in his arms.

You both stayed in an awkward bubble, without moving an inch, avoiding the gaze of one another, for 30 long seconds that felt like hours.

"I'm sorry" and "so how are you doing" came at the same time from him side you. You awkwardly chuckled but he stayed still so you stopped finally having the guts to look at him in the eye for more than a millisecond.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, louder this time. You froze. You didn't want that to happen. You didn't want him to face you abut what happened. It would made it real, and you still hadn't enough courage for that.

"What for ?" You asked, your voice breaking.

"You what for".

You hesitated a lot before responding. "No actually I don't. Was it for mean rejecting me without an ounce of regret or nicenessin your words ? Or maybe the fact that you destroyed my confidence? Oh no ! I know, it was for the time you mocked me in front of my friend, who is in fact your girlfriend, and a fake friend!"

"You weren't supposed to be there that time." He said, suddenly finding the floor really interesting.

"Maybe but I was, so it's the same result and the same mean words that came out of your mouth."

He knew you were right. You were completely allowed to be mad at him for the way he treated you. But it was still hard. Azriel had never been in proper relationships nor had he ever been confessed to. It wasn't a proper excuse but it still made it hard to accommodate to those things for a boy deprived of love for all his life. He didn't know how to react, so to him, the better solution was to stay silent. You sighed, disappointed and he came awkwardly closer to you to hold you and shoot in the sky, following Cassian and Lucien, long arrived and waiting for you worried (especially Lucien).

Elain was waiting for Azriel, or Lucien, no one knew, on the balcony of the House of Wind and almost fell when she saw you. You in Azriel's arms, accompanying Lucien. Azriel struggled to let you go, especially after your conversation, but the second you were out of his hold, Elain held you in a crushing hug. You rapidly got out as well, feeling uncomfortable after her hypocrisy. You gave her a sad smile and Lucien introduced you to Feyre and Rhysand who had already told you to call them by their name, and to Mor and Amren. They all welcomed you warmly except Elain and Azriel of course who both looked like ashamed puppies with their tails between their legs.

After dinner, everyone went out in the garden for a tea and you found yourself on a couch behind Lucien sat on the floor. Automatically, because it was something you were now used to do, your hands found his head and started playing with his hair. Everyone had their eyes on you, confused on your proximity but you didn't notice and kept going on braiding his hair.

"I'll do yours later I promise" Lucien said, looking at you from above.

"I hope so !". Leaving everyone even more confused now.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When you were ready to left with Lucien, Elain caught you and asked you to have a word with her.

Lucien gave you a worried look and you nodded making him understand you were okay for now.

She led you to a private room and paced in it awkwardly. She opened her mouth twice and closed it almost instantly like she wanted to say something but didn't know where to start.

"So, you ans Azriel ? Huh"

"You have actually no right to be mad at me." She cut you off.

"Excuse me ? But I have every right to be mad at you right now ! You have treated me poorly faking to be my friend and laughing at me when you should have been comforting me !" You snapped, angry.

"Well, it's not like someone could ever treat you well."

"What, what do you mean ?"

"Look at you yn, nobody would ever really be with you. You're not ugly but you're not beautifu, you're not dumb but you're not smart, you're just.. Well you. And that's clearly not enough." She looked at you disgustingly.

"But Lucien is treating me well.." You said tears welling in your eyes.

"Don't be blind, yn, he's a man, and like Azriel he will ran to me when he'll see that you're no longer interesting. You were nice and all, you listened to me but I guess I just got bored of you, anyone would." And with that she left the room, leaving 8 pairs of eyes on you as she opened the door. They instantly approached you, Feyre apologising a thousand time for the mean behaviour of her sister and Azriel staying in the back, his eyes full of worry and apology. He was trying to make you feel like everything she had said was false, that you were so much more than that, worthy of the stars,of two shining stars. Because yes they had heard everything. Lucien made his way to the crowd of his family surrounding you and hesitated before he hugged you out of nowhere. Azriel clenched his jaw and his hands turned into fists. When Lucien released you of his grasp, your expression hadn't changed, its like you were empty, just one single tears had escaped your eye. Cassian and Azriel flew you to the ground of Velaris and the last one had kept his hand on yours to make you look at him.

"I'm sorry, for what she said. It's not one bit true."

"Don't worry, she's surely right..." You had answered your gaze falling on his hand. You had never noticed the scars an them, they were so beautiful, so textured, so unique. You eyes widened at the sight and Azriel quickly hid them behind back before keeping going.

"No she wasn't, please don't doubt yourself because of what came out of her mouth because of jealousy. Because that's what she was and still is, jealous."

"Thank you Az really." You sadly smiled at him before joining Lucien who was waiting for you.

He didn't know why, but something clicked in him seeing you walk away under the arm of Lucien and hearing again his nickname from your mouth. He thought it rolled well on your tongue and really wanted to hear it again, as soon as possible. And it tensed him a lot to know that this man who touched you, was probably sleeping at yours tonight, maybe in your bed to comfort you after this emotionally hard day. It puzzled him a lot and didn't even know why, until his shadows came to his ears and murmured repeatedly "want to be him".

Tag list:

@kalulakunundrum

[lurkingshan]

I am once again screaming after finishing an episode of Blue Canvas of Youthful Days. This show is incredible.

Let me start with one of the more smartly constructed misunderstandings I've seen in a minute: after seeing Teacher Liu's lost love in a photo, Tan Lin avoids him for days, Liu eventually gets drunk and calls him, then ends up flipping him onto the bed and saying he missed him so much--which Tan Lin believes is Liu confusing him with his ex. So he removes his hearing aid to shut out Liu's words, right before Liu keeps talking and makes it clear he knows this is Tan Lin and Tan Lin is the one he missed. So Liu finally gives in and kisses him, but Tan Lin thinks it's only because he's mixing him up with his ex. Diabolical, show! Teacher Liu, you are a fucking mess and you need to get it together, stop running hot and cold, and communicate very clearly about your intentions.

On the other side of our story, this episode gave me everything I hoped re: filling in Qin Xiao's perspective to help us understand why he rejected Qi Lu. This show continues to be so solid on the class dynamics and how they inform this romance. Teacher Liu laid it out clearly: Qi Lu is privileged and he will be able to go to college with or without this special admissions boost, but Qin Xiao has many fewer opportunities and he can't blow it getting caught up in Qi Lu's problems. Qin Xiao knows this, and is also battling some feelings of unworthiness and unwillingness to make Qi Lu's life harder by saddling him with Qin Xiao's struggles. On top of that, and what I found most heartbreaking, Qin Xiao admits he has always longed for a "normal" family, with a wife and kids of his own. He wants that desperately, and so of course he is fighting himself on falling for a guy. And I get him. When you grow up that deprived of things other folks take for granted, there is a real drive to build it for yourself and strong resistance to anything that would get in the way of it, even including your own true desires and feelings.

I liked that this episode had Qi Lu crossing the line into being far too pushy and displaying a real lack of empathy for Qin Xiao and his different life circumstances, because it put them back on more equal footing in this conflict. Qi Lu clearly does not understand Qin Xiao's perspective and is not interested in understanding; he's too fixated on what he wants and how he wants to live in defiance of his abusive father to hear Qin Xiao's legitimate hesitations and give him space to work it out. It's a really beautifully constructed impasse where they're both in the wrong but we understand what's driving each of them.

[neptunes-sol-angel]

Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most, then scroll down for its corresponding message for insight on what's next for you in love.

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Pile One ♡

I strongly feel that most people in this pile would be considered as someone who is inexperienced in love, maybe you guys are bookworms, maladaptive daydreamers, and writers yourselves when it comes to visualizing your future, different settings for how the world could be, and breathing life into the people that you haven’t gotten the chance or time to get to know yet. What’s next for you in love, is practice. You’re upgrading from being Bambi by becoming the Great Prince of the Forest by taking risks before you are able to know and find what is right for you. Some of you may believe in holding yourself tightly before you meet “the one” but the message is that you are being unfair to yourself by putting your life on hold to revolve it around someone who is also learning too, but isn’t waiting like you are doing. This doesn’t mean to be reckless or to feel coerced into going along with people you don’t have a good feeling about just for the sake of finally being in a relationship. This stage is about exploration and enjoying yourself before you meet your life partner. If you resonate with being a bookworm, you could be the type to read romantic fictional stories on a platform like wattpad, and while it serves its purpose which is to make you feel good, it could create an irregular perception of love for you, like subconsciously romanticizing traits that are toxic or wouldn’t be something that you would actually like if you were to actually experience it. For some, it could be re-evaluating your attraction to individuals, like when you crush on someone, you could find that they really look good, but do you yearn for more from them? Your path in love could be redirecting you to pay attention to how a person makes you feel than what you get from them on a surface level of interaction.

Pile Two ♡

There was someone in your life that you once felt like you couldn’t live without or took something from you that seemed irretrievable, but you’re being blessed in a way that’s shutting all of those lies down. You’re getting you back, in whichever way that it applies. This could be your motivation to take care of yourself, to do things that made you feel happy and at peace before this dwindle ending happened, like going to the gym, arts & craft, writing, solo trips or going out with friends, and even something simple as such as looking good for yourself, but it’s not limited to what was mentioned. This could even look like getting closer to who your deity or deities and spiritual maintenance. The best way that I can describe this, is that this phase in love is like this big circle of energy, stuff that was taken or borrowed from you, that’s being marinated before it is returned because it isn’t just aspects from the past, it’s also the time for creation. This whole entire time, your rain of tears that were collected from this heartbreak were observed yet not ignored, but transmuted into this empire that you’re building off of the corpses of failures that you’ve experienced with not just people but life circumstances, maybe when that break up happened it just seemed that more tragedies kept following you after that and it drove you into insanity like when does this pain ever end? Although you can’t forget about it, you’re learning how to soften from these things that stung you in the past, so that you can keep moving and consolidate your wishes. For some, this is personal, and an era that you’d like to be selfish with in order to see what else you can create, like developing a strong daily routine, starting that business, or maybe even working on yourself so that you can heal others, while the other side of this collective will open their hearts again to a new love which can be romance, friendship, or even adoption that is just as equally healing.

Pile Three ♡

The next thing in love for you is learning how to stop trying to win. I’m picking up multiple scenarios for this but the premise is that people in this pile are in love situations where there is no winner, and if there is, let the other person be the one to have it so that you can walk away and stop blocking yourself from better to come in. Some of you are in a long battle with a person by competing with them on who has the upperhand in the situationship, this involves the runner and chaser dynamic constantly reversing and both of you keeping tabs on each other when you’re supposed to be in no contact. The second scenario is sticking beside someone who has a wandering eye but trying relentlessly to get this person to choose you the way that you choose them. The third scenario is in general, trying to prove yourself in order to gain love from others by manipulating yourself and even them to win their affection. There is this storm brewing, you can even call this a tower moment, that could happen to finally get you to see the many ways that you are downplaying yourself with people who have stayed in your space and energy for far too long. You’re going to surrender from these situations to know what it means to pick yourself up and see how beautiful and worthy you are to the extent where you’ll be baffled by how much you’ve been settling for people who don’t deserve you. This phase will come with new connections, but what makes it different is realizing your authority in this by realizing how possible and freeing it is to choose people that choose you. Once you realize that you’re the prize in this game, let the winner take pride in being the fumbler, and be proud of yourself for not being the one to fumble you.

[97linelover]

MASTERLIST ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

Just a silly girl that writes about men that don’t leave her head. English is not my mother tongue so please be kind. All my story’s in one post!

Do not translate / copy / change my works.

♡= Angst ☆= fight ❀= fluff ♛ = smut

Unspoken Words ♡ ☆ summary: when your boyfriend comes back home after an fight, you did not expect your world falling apart.

It will always be her ♡ ☆ summary: You finally thought you found your soulmate, but you never had a chance in the first place right?

It´s always the quarterback ♡ ☆ ❀ summary: the quarterback and the nerd, how cliché- well not every cliché story has their happy end. The Story between you and Soonyoung started out like in the movies, but what if he betrays you?

Dont let me slip ways please ♡ ☆ ❀ summary: Dating an Idol was not always easy, you once again felt it with their newest comeback. What if your Boyfriend pushes you away and you could only watch? content: Idol Wonwoo x non Idol reader, fight,angst, happy end,fluff, smut

Where do broken hearts go? ♡ ☆ ❀ summary: Marrying the man of your dreams will finally come true, but what happens when the day comes and the Man is not there?

Shielding your heart. ♡ ☆ ❀ summary: When Jeon Wonwoo becomes embroiled in a scandal that threatens to expose the love of his life, to a ruthless public, he makes the heartbreaking decision to leave her. For Y/N, being with Wonwoo has always meant living in the shadows of his fame, but when the paparazzi uncover her identity, the stakes become dangerously high. Determined to shield her from the relentless scrutiny and vicious backlash, wonwoo ends their relationship, believing it's the only way to keep her safe. As he navigates the fallout from the scandal alone, Wonwoo is haunted by the love he sacrificed and the woman he left behind.

False number alert ♡ ☆ ❀ summary: it´s normal to chat over your phone nowadays, but what happens if you receive a text from a stranger? And what if this stranger is not who he claims to be?

Better off without me ♡ ☆ ❀ summary: nearly 10 years.. that´s the time you´ve been with Kim Mingyu. But what if his plans about the future are not the same as yours? What if the guy you love the most breaks your heart within seconds?

Don´t treat me like a Baby ♡ ☆ ❀ ♛

summary: Being the only Daughter in the Choi Family made you Precious. What if your Dad hires Kim Mingyu as your Bodyguard. And what if you develop a huge crush on him?

Did you hear what the rumor said? ♡ ☆ ❀ summary: Dating as Idols means, keeping it a secret. Rumors will spread, people will get hurt. What if this one Rumor brings you over the edge and you no longer can handle this Secret?

Versace on the floor ♡ ☆ ❀ ♛ summary: You´re sure of one thing, leaving the house with your Fiancé in a Suit, will lead to a steamy night.

Birthday of 2024 ❀ ♛ summary: it´s your boyfriends birthday, you decide to suprise him. Well the night gets pretty steamy.

Gym Session ❀ ♛ summary: when your boyfriend decides to workout late at night you won´t refuse, but your favorite part is always the after session.

Fatal desires ♡ ☆

summary: 5 Years of Marriage should mean something, right? Well your Husband did not seem to think so.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

re: Charles adultery interview vs Diana adultery interview ( panorama) and why William probably has a better view of Charles interview, but not Diana.

First of all, Charles interview didn't trash Diana at all. That's a huge difference. 

The Charles interview is online, and it wasn't set up as an adultery interview. It's a 1hr broad documentary about his life that year. The usual Charles at work, charles with his charities etc, but it also included a section on his disdain for the paparazzi which was filmed in the grounds of Balmoral and actually includes William and Harold playing with other kids/ retainers/ Charles.

Then there is a 5-10min section which is the proper sitdown interview where he is asked about his marriage. He is clearly relunctant to discuss said marriage and it's more a question and answer session as if he is answering an exam. 

He is asked if he loved his wife and had married her for love to which he said yes. But he also says he doesn't want to go into details because once you start explaining yourself to the media it becomes a runaway train and it's unfair on others( paraphrasing).

Then the interviewer asks him if he was unfaithful, he says yes. Interviewer asks when? He replies that after his marriage had irretrivably broken down, but he doesn't go into further details.

Interviewer then asks whether he cheated with Mrs PB, and he replies that he has many female friends that he holds dear especially Mrs PB. ( again paraphrasing).

Cut to media reporting of this documentary: 

Breaking news: Charles said he cheated with Camilla/ Charles names his mistress ( again paraphrasing).

Fast Forward a year later:

Diana revenge interview ( panorama) is aired. 

She trashed Charles in nany, many ways including saying he wasn't fit to be King all couched in manipulative language that positions her as the victim. 

However, some reporting afew days later regarding William is heartbreaking. 

It seems that news of Panorama interview had found it's way to William's housemaster at Eton. He rings Diana to come to school to explain it to William in person. At first she refuses claiming that William us a big boy and anyway she hasn't said anything bad in the interview. Housemaster insists, and Diana finally goes to Eton to explain to William and leaves him with a breezy nothing-to-worry-about view of coming interview. 

The interview is aired. Housemaster gave William his sitting room to watch it in private. Apparently William cried as he watched the interview. And then for days afterwards was teased by other boys for the interview. 

When he came home for exeat, he and Diana had an almighty, shouting row. He was upset that she'd trashed Charles, aired dirty laundry about herself etc.

But the next day, he apologised to her. She would later tell her friends that she realised in that morning/ apology that she'd broken him, and their relationship would never be the same. 

And she was distraught and regretted the interview in that moment. Prior to that moment, she'd been euphoric at what she saw as her triumph, but seeing it's effect on William, she realised the damage she'd done. 

But more shock was to come 2wks after the interview. As a direct result of that interview, The Queen ordered the divorce which came as a huge shock to Diana because she'd married the only man who by *law couldn't divorce which suited her romantic ideas even if reality didn't live upto it.

The separation in 1992 had been finessed with constitutional experts/ privy council and Palace PR to get around this law on condition that there would be no divorce and John Major, PM of the UK had made separation announcement to that effect. 

*despite Henry 8 divorce shenanigans, our constitution regarding the heir to the throne and the Monarch is that they can't divorce without Parliament's permission. 

The reality is that Parliament often says no,  as George 4 found out with his repeated attempts to divorce his wife Caroline when they were Prince & Princess of Wales and again once he was King and she was Queen Consort. 

[stayteezdreams]

First Snow

Plot: They say if you witness the First Snow with your crush, you are destined to be together. Originally mentioned as a childhood superstition, Jaehyun took it to heart.

Pairing: Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae x Gn!Reader

Warnings: A kiss at the end but that's all I can think of.

Words: 3.3k

Ever since Jaehyun saw that the first snow would be coming within the next couple of days, his eyes were constantly on the lookout, not just for the snow, but for you.

When the two of you were kids, Jaehyun remembered you telling him about the belief that if you watched the first snow with your crush, you would be destined to be together.

Jaehyun teased you about how ridiculous that sounded, but really, he hoped it was true. And he hoped he would get to witness the first snow with you, so the two of you would be together forever.

But as much as he wanted it, it never happened.

He convinced himself somewhere along the way that he jinxed it. Because every year since, neither of you were together during the first snow.

He tried again and again, but always failed.

At school, he would run to find you, but never found you in time. It devastated him even more when you witnessed the first snow with your crush in high school instead and ended up dating him shortly after.

There was the time he ran two blocks to find you at your work to see the snow with you, only to learn that you had already left for the night.

And when it snowed for the first time after you moved away. He missed you so desperately he took a train to find you. But all he found was a confused roommate who said you had gone somewhere, but didn't know when you'd come back.

When he looked for you, he could never find you. The two of you were always in the wrong place at the wrong time. And more often than once, the snow came while you were sleeping. Waking up and seeing the first blanket of snow went from magical, to heartbreaking for Jaehyun.

Jaehyun had started to believe that this was the universe telling him that you weren't meant to be together, no matter how perfectly he thought you two fit. No matter how wholly he believed you to be his soulmate.

During college and shortly after, you two hadn't been able to see each other much. But his feelings never faded. And when you moved houses, not too far from him, it seemed to re-light the spark in him telling him to try again.

He could always confess to you like a normal human being, but he knew how much you adored the love-centered superstition. And in a way, if it happened, it would feel like fate itself finally agreed to the match.

So, when he got that little notification on his phone about the incoming snow, he felt more determined. This time, it would happen, he would make sure of it.

You felt a familiar warmth rise in your chest when you read Jaehyun's message. He was on his way to your house to bring you your favorite drink, just as he had the day before, and the day before that.

It didn't go unnoticed by you, that ever since you moved closer, he seemed to stick to you, especially the last few days. Not that you minded, however, you had missed him more than anymore else in your life.

You were afraid the distance that grew between you when you lived further away would remain when you moved back, but instead, your friendship became exactly as it was. And just as your familiar closeness with Jaehyun returned, so did the repressed feelings you had been hiding away for years.

After he arrived, walking in without knocking, a habit he had from childhood, the two of you sat and talked for a while. Mostly about what you wanted to do over the weekend.

You noticed the way Jaehyun's eyes seemed to only look one of two places. You, and out the window. Watching him now, as he leaned his head to look up towards the cloudy sigh, you smiled softly as you let out a soft breathy laugh.

"Are you expecting Santa or something?"

His lips curled up as he glanced at you but didn't reply.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head as he sat back in his chair, "Nothing. Just wondering what the weather is gonna be like."

You felt a soft pang in your chest as you recalled the snow alert you received. "It's supposed to snow." You said softly as you looked out the window yourself. 'Maybe this time.'

"Yeah." He said softly as he sipped his drink.

Both of you got lost in thought, neither of you realizing the other was stuck in the same thought cycle as each other.

You were brought out of your distracted thoughts when your phone rang. Jaehyun watched and listened in with a soft smile as you spoke to your mother on the phone, even talking to her himself when she learned he was there.

Figuring from the conversation, you had an appointment with your mother later, one he assumed he was not allowed to join.

Parting ways, though reluctantly, he left with a hug and promises of seeing each other later, or tomorrow. Though, he was already trying to think of excuses to come back once you were home.

As he walked back to his car, he looked up at the darkening sky and glared, pointing up at the menacing clouds, "Don't you dare."

And dare, they did not.

The dark clouds only brought rain and wind, much to Jaehyun's relief. Especially since he didn't get a chance to see you again that day since you spent all day and evening with your family.

The next day however, Jaehyun was determined to have you all to himself. The weather and sky were promising, as was the weather channel broadcast.

So, what do you do on a freezing cold day in December?

Hang out in the park, naturally!

"Can't we go somewhere warm Jae?" You said with a soft shiver as another cold wind chilled you through your jacket.

Seeing your desperation Jaehyun nodded, giving in as his toes threatened to never have feeling again.

As the two of you headed into the large shopping center, Jaehyun watched the sky carefully. Would it really snow today? Or did fate team up with the atmosphere just to torture him?

Distracted by stores, food and arcade games, Jaehyun almost forgot about his goal, up until he heard a little kid yell out from nearby.

"Mom look, it's snowing!"

Jaehyun's heart jolted in his chest as he heard this, looking over at you, as you looked back at the kid as well.

Quickly taking your hand, he began dragging you towards the nearest exit. "Jaehyun, why are we running?!"

Bolting out the doors and onto the outdoor walkway, Jaehyun looked around but felt his heart drop.

You frowned as well, "It's not snowing, what was that kid on about?"

Lost in his own disappointment, Jaehyun missed seeing yours written all over your face.

Jaehyun groaned as he turned towards you, the look on your face making you chuckle. "What? Did you expect to run out and see winter wonderland?"

He rolled his eyes as he took your hand and started walking you back into the building. "I was expecting something."

As you headed back into the shopping center, you both slowed as you saw in the center of the shopping center floor, a large North Pole Santa display. Complete with Santa, elves, trees, presents, and fake snow. And to top it off, the kid from earlier throwing handfuls of it at his mom.

Repressing your disappointment, and instead embracing the amusement of it all you gently smacked Jaehyun's arm and pointed, "Jaehyun look, it's snowing!"

He looked over at you with a dead stare, making you laugh. The sight made Jaehyun smile, unable to resist. Letting out a small disappointed yet amused smile, he gestured forward, "Come on."

Later that evening, Jaehyun sat at the end of his bed looking out the window. After you refused to sleep over at his house like "old times", you went home.

Something in him told him it was going to snow tonight. So, he sat and waited, waited for those familiar little flakes to start floating past his window.

But as time passed, and the night remained silent and still, Jaehyun slowly lost his battle with sleep. Luckily for Jaehyun, fate seemed to finally be on his side, at least a little bit.

He was suddenly jolted awake as his phone slid from his lap and hit the floor. Rubbing his eyes as he reached down for his phone, he blinked a few times as his eyes focused on something bright outside his window.

'It’s not morning already, is it?' he thought to himself before he noted the moon peeking out from a cloud.

Just as a soft breeze blew past, little flakes of snow blew past his window, causing Jaehyun to sit up quickly, forgetting sleep entirely. Running over to the window, and nearly tripping in the process, he looked outside at the soft snowfall blowing past.

Checking his phone, he saw it was nearly three in the morning. His chest clenched as he looked out at the snow again, it didn't look like it was sticking around for too long.

This is what he was waiting for. This was his chance. He wouldn't miss it again.

Rushing out of his room, he grabbed his keys, jacket and shoes before bolting out of the house and into the cold winter night. He thought of little else except getting to you as quick as he could. Praying that the snow would stick around so he could finally do what he always wanted.

Would you be upset he woke you up at three in the morning? Probably.

Would you reject his feelings? It was a possibility.

Was this going to stop him? Absolutely not.

Not after years of pining and waiting for the perfect moment. He knew there was always a chance you wouldn't have feelings for him. Hell, that might be the real reason he never confessed to you during one of the thousand moments he had the chance too.

Maybe he deluded himself thinking you couldn't say no if he confessed during the first snow.

But no matter what, he needed to do this tonight.

Your eyes shot open as your phone screen lit up your room, the ringing of your phone seeming so much louder than normal. Fumbling as you grabbed the phone off your side table, you saw Jaehyun's name flash on your screen. Your heart jolted as anxiety shot through you.

Answering the phone quickly, you sat up, trying to wake yourself up. "Jaehyun, what is it, what's wrong?"

The panic in your voice sent a jolt of guilt through Jaehyun, but he swallowed it down.

"Nothing is wrong."

"Then what-"

"Go to your window."

"What?"

"Go to your window!"

Frowning in confusion as you climbed out of bed, you pulled back your curtains and looked out at the street. Snow was drifting down from the sky, being lit by the near-full moon. And standing out in front of your house, was Jaehyun.

"Wh- what are you doing here?"

You didn't know whether to be annoyed, worried, or amused as you stared down at the pajama clad man waving up at you from the street.

"Come out!"

"What?!" You let out an incredulous laugh.

"Come on! It's snowing! Hurry!"

"Wh-" you stare at your phone as the line cut off.

Looking down at him he waved at you hurriedly for you to come out.

As you grabbed your shoes and jacket, your heart began pounding in your chest.

You thought you were going to miss the first snow again, like you had all those times before. Why now? Was this why Jaehyun was so excited about the snow earlier? Did he remember what you had said all those years ago? But then why would he want to see the snow with you?

Leaving your house, you walked down to the street, seeing Jaehyun staring up at the sky. The snow was melting quickly, only a few spots were building up in grassy areas.

Hearing your footsteps, Jaehyun turned towards you and smiled. Guilt washed over him again as he saw your sleepy face. But he couldn't help the warmth that filled his chest at how cute you looked.

"Jae-" you hesitated as you looked around, your heart continuing to pound heavily. "What's going on? Earlier in the mall you were so excited about the snow, and now this?"

"I wanted to see the first snow with you."

Your chest clenched. Did he know what that meant to you? What your little ten-year-old heart burned into the fiber of your being.

"Why?"

Your voice was soft but held so much emotion and knowledge that Jaehyun knew nothing about.

He swallowed hard as he took a couple steps closer to you. "Don't you remember? When we were little, how you believed so much in love and fate. How your favorite superstition was that if you witnessed the first snow with your crush you would end up together. And how you wanted that to be the way you were destined to meet your soulmate?"

You let out a soft breathy laugh. "Of course I remember, but, why do you?"

"Because I wanted it to be me."

Your breath caught as you stared at him. The only sounds you could hear were the gently pats of snowflakes hitting the ground around you.

"What?"

"I wanted to see the first snow with you, so that I could be your soulmate." He looked down at his feet as he let out a soft, sad laugh, "But every time I tried to find you during the first snow, I never could. We always missed it."

You couldn't even feel the cold with how hot your body felt. All this time. All this time you felt the same.

"Me too."

His eyes snapped up at you at the sound of your soft voice. "What?"

"I looked for you too. Every time."

The times at school when you heard it was snowing, you rushed to find him, but never could. By the time you found each other the snow had always stopped.

There was the time you were at work two streets down from where he was working at the time. Seeing the snow and running to meet him, only to be told he had already left.

The first snow after you had moved away. You took a train two hours because you missed him and wanted to see him, to tell him you loved him. Only to stand outside of his house for hours, waiting, and for him to never come back.

"You did?" The shock and confusion in his voice echoed your thoughts. "So, we always missed each other because we were trying to find each other?"

You shrugged and let out a soft breath, "I guess so."

"But, what about your boyfriend in high school? Your crush?"

You grimaced at the mention of this. Shaking your head you hissed softly, "He wasn't really my crush, I just said that because I panicked when you asked me who I liked. But then... that year, I tried finding you during the first snow, but I ran into him instead. And-" you sighed, "I ended up convincing myself that was fate, that maybe, instead of you, it was meant to be him. So, when he ended up asking me out, I said yes."

Jaehyun stared at you for a moment before letting out a soft laugh. So that was why your relationship didn't last long.

As the realization started to become almost overwhelming Jaehyun spun around and let out a groan, making you laugh. He looked up at the sky, letting the cold flakes melt on his skin before he looked back at you with a grin.

"So that's why we never had long relationships, or met our soulmates? Because we were waiting to see the first snow together?"

You smiled, "I guess so."

He stared at you for a moment before the feelings pouring through him became too much. Rushing forward he pulled you into a hug. Your arms wrapped around him slowly as he held you close. His familiar scent sending waves of comfort through you.

"I thought I was so stupid waiting for the first snow to confess to you. But you were doing the same thing all this time."

You chuckled softly, "So you’re saying we're both stupid?"

He laughed as he hugged you tighter, letting out a soft groan as he did so. "I love you Y/n. I think I always have."

Your stomach swirled as you felt your eyes begin to burn. You pressed your face against his shoulder as you clenched the fabric of his jacket in your fists. "I love you too, Jaehyun."

As the snow fell gently around you, you held each other for some time. It wasn't until Jaehyun realized his toes were going numb that he pulled away.

"I think we might catch colds if we stay out here any longer." His voice was soft, reluctant as he took your hands, rubbing them as he felt how cold they were.

You let out a soft laugh, watching as he brought your hands up and pressed a soft kiss to each of them. When his eyes met yours, there was nothing but genuine love, making your heart flutter at the sight.

Reaching out, he gently cupped your face and leaned forward. Your eyes locked before you both met in a soft, loving kiss, that held years of unspoken feelings.

As a cold breeze blew past, you both pulled away, no longer able to ignore the cold seeping into your bones. Taking his hand, you tugged it, "Come on."

Jaehyun grinned to himself as you led him back to your house to escape the cold. Comfort washing over him as the warmth of your house engulfed him the second you stepped inside.

Realizing just how cold the two of you were as you both shivered, you met eyes and laughed.

"It doesn't seem quite as romantic now." He admitted, making you laugh as you peeled off your jacket.

Taking his off as well, he grinned slyly as he reached out and pulled you back into his arms. You met eyes and you rose your brow as you noticed his almost mischievous smile.

"You know what would be romantic?"

"What?" You asked cautiously.

"Sharing the bed and cuddling after a confession."

You bit the inside of your lip as heat rose up your ears. "You just don't want me to make you sleep on the couch."

He chuckled and nodded, "That too."

Slowly grinning, you took his hand again as you turned to walk to your bedroom. "Come on then."

He grinned as he happily followed you and grinned even wider as you climbed into bed and laid yourself naturally in his arms.

Bringing the blankets tight around you, he held you close, gently rubbing circles into your arm as he held you. He stared up at your ceiling for a few moments as he felt sleepiness starting to take over.

"This is how it was always supposed to be."

You felt yourself drifting as you smiled softly, nodding as you cuddling more into his embrace. "I think so too."

Pressing a kiss to your head, he rested his head back and closed his eyes. Everything felt right, finally.

As he started to drift to sleep, he thought back on all the times the two of you missed each other during the first snow. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was really fate keeping you away from each other, or if it was fate that was trying so hard to bring you together.

xx End xx

((Taglist Form))

12 Days of Christmas Taglist: @multi-fandommaniac, @mbruben-stein

General Taglist: @charmsprout, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669,

@tinyelfperson, @pinievsev, @teenyfinds, @everythingboutkpop,

@shymexican, @stillwjk-channie-lixie, @alexxavicry

[kandadze]

Ep 29 loose thoughts

Oof, Li Lun's really on his last legs, eh? I do feel sorry for him, but I feel even worse for Bai Jiu - locked up inside his own body, poisoned, forced to ingest human livers, coughing up blood and dying. Can this kid get a break, please.

It's funny to me how ZYC might have figured out ZYZ's ruse because of his top-tier observation skills... or it might have been because he pays *that* much attention to the demon. I guess we'll never know 😅

It's heartbreaking in a way how well ZYZ knows LL, still, after all, and trusts him not to hurt Ying Lei, trusts LL to honor an emotional debt. Also, interesting how even while pointing a sword to ZYZ's throat, ZYC trusts him not to go to certain lengths for his goals... I keep saying this, but- the bonds in this drama! 😭

Is this really the time to walk away without saying anything, ZYZ? (I know, I know. It's so that they can break our hearts more thoroughly real soon.)

Oh okay. So even Wen Xiao doesn't know what exactly is wrong with her - don't you think that's kind of vital info you should've shared, Bai Yan daren? Ngl, I guffawed when ZYZ said, "I searched Wen Xiao's body etc," not sure if it's the translation that's lacking or what, but I'm pretty sure we all had the same thought about how thorough that search was 😝 On a more serious note though, is poison always the most powerful weapon of destruction in cdramas? Like ZYZ has the power to heal stab wounds and vein cuts that would otherwise be lethal, but he can't do shit about poison?

Thanks for explaining why she wasn't there when the gang came back with the scale, I thought it was so weird for Bai Yan to just leave like that when she was supposedly the one to tell them how it works. (Still not sure why it had to be her and not Ying Long or even the princess Longyu herself, but oh well.)

Yes, that's why ZYZ stole the scale. The never ending variations on the trolley problem in this drama (I think I saw someone mention it re the Bingyi cave and then it happened again in ep 28, and now it's happening again)!

"It's hard." And? That doesn't mean it's impossible, right? Bai Yan, *please* speak plainly and in full sentences, because instead of raising tension you're raising my blood pressure.

Ah, of course she would withhold that info if it meant saving her son. ZYC, going straight for jugular lol (gotta love the man, for him restoring the sword means not only getting Bai Jiu back but also saving his own life, and he still would choose not to go through with it if it meant losing ZYZ or, as he just found out, WX.) As a mother, she might have thought of letting her son know who she was when she still had a chance; she might have thought of a contigency plan in case something happened to her. They might have not been in this particular mess now, had *someone* made sure the kid didn't have to resort to making wild guesses, ultimately leading him to be lied to and exploited.

Wow, yeah, okay. I officially dislike both of Bai Jiu's parents now. Also, Bai Yan's words once again reinforce the difference between humans and demons/gods and how they think about time and bonds. ZYC might be a demon now, so technically his lifespan is way longer than human's, and still he might not live long enough to see the next incarnation of the Baize goddess; and even if he could, at this point his concern is the *current* incarnation, thank you very much, whereas BY's looking at the situation from a much wider perspective. Because of course both worlds will be involved. And I'm still with ZYC on this. (Unrelated, but I love Bai Yan's voice. It's not often we get to hear that low of a voice from a woman, and especially not in cdramas, as far as I can tell.)

Oh, fuck off. The fatalism rubs me the wrong way always, and coming from such a supposedly powerful being it's even more grating. (Not for the first time while watching this drama I get a flashback to reading Clamp's "X-1999," the set-up and tone is eerily similar.)

Well I guess I got my wish. Li Lun, you sad little demon possessing a dying child's body, I feel for you and your longing. The white petals around them (white, for death and mourning), oh my heart. The fact that they kept switching the actors throughout his reflections made it even more painful. And then he goes and (indirectly) quotes ZYC, the bit about the lamp kept on for travellers... while Ying Lei can only listen and cry. Oof. Can't help but notice that he still focuses mostly on his own suffering, though... I guess it's fair, for all intents and purposes he still has a mentality of a hurt teenager.

The whiplash I got when he switched to, "if I die, I have to find someone to die with," ouch 🤣 Once a drama queen, always a drama queen, right, LL? Gotta find yourself the grandest stage for your final exit... am I ready to see that? (I adore his character song, btw, even though when I first heard it, it gave me a completely different image of what his character's going to be. Hmm.)

Again, fuck right off, Bai Yan. I kinda wish they showed us more of WX in that scene, but hey, I'll take ZYC's memories, too (probably the first time with a time stamp!). "You must live well." It's like a refrain at this point that they seem to cling to, the worse the circumstances get. And the care between them, I'll never be over the bonds we're being shown in this drama.

I relate to WX so much. Like I get the idea that some things are worth dying for and no one in the gang would hesitate to put their lives on the line. And still, WX wants to live. Staying alive is just as, if not more, difficult as dying. Staying alive while others leave is difficult. Only when you stay alive can you really change the narrative. (Also, can we please *stop* sitting on that goddamn bridge. Why are you even there when ZYC was clearly shown back at the Mount Kunlun? Come to think of it, I just realized that they seem to have completely forgotten about Ying Lei??? And where did PSJ go?)

"How is wanting to live not the right choice?" Funny, coming from you of all people, ZYZ. Will you make the right choice for yourself, then? Thank you, WX. Make him sit on that for a bit... Ngl, I cheered when she tore up that goddamned contract. I don't care if they get to kiss now or no, but I care that he won't have to experience a mild heart attack every time he focuses on his affection towards her. (Because I've never seen him look at her as you would a colleague, so technically his heart should've been acting up nonstop, unless the emphasis was on conscious intent on his part. I'd have to rewatch that ep to see if they actually mention the exact wording.)

Awww look at her boys going "I'll find a way" at the same time! I just hope I'm not gonna cry when their way turns out to be yet another self-sacrificial mission. Interesting, there's a bottle of wine and two cups sitting by ZYC, even though he seems to have been sitting there by himself for quite a while... is it going to be one of those tiny details that become relevant later? (I love how this drama makes me pay attention!)

Oh dear gods, I really hope this isn't what I think it is. ZYC!!!

GODDAMNIT IT IS, HE WENT TO SEE WZY BY HIMSELF, FUCKKKKKK

At this point in the story my sincere wish is that, if nothing else, we *will* get to see WZY dying a slow and horrible death. If *he* survives, I'm throwing this whole drama in the garbage. (Also, somehow I'm not in the slightest concerned about what ZYC's choice might be. I trust him this much.)

Lol the moment Bai Yan mentioned that the fire of the mortal world is not enough to forge ZYC's sword I totally went, "it has to be taken to the Mount Dooooooom!" 🤣

Huh, okay, I didn't expect the ever-burning wood to be necessary for this. That's how we know that we're close to the final boss battle, folks, the quests are getting more and more complex.

"Take it"??? Wait, is it that easy? Oh no, of course not. How did it *not* burn him up after all this time though, was it just chilling in his body without actually doing anything? Other than accidentally hurting LL with it, I don't think we've ever seen ZYZ use it in any way, either 🤔 Okay, so he needs the creation stone as well, okay-

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

That's the live reaction of yours truly at *that* visual of golden light blasting from ZYC's sword as he grasps it. Holyyyyyy shit, Guo Jingming, Silmarillion adaptation when????

Oh gods, their hands on that stone. Like in ZYZ's vision. I'm scared again. The image of ZYC morphing into LL and then back again!!! If you want ZYC to promise that he'd protect the Wilderness with you, then *you* better promise not to die, ZYZ! Also, could they be any more queer coded at this point? (Aww, WX, I want to give her a hug so badly. Where the hell is PSJ when you need her???)

I take that back, they can and currently are even more queer coded. ZYZ's face when ZYC prepares his drink for him with yet another jade pendant!!! This whole scene, starting with one of my favorite songs from the OST playing in the background, the soft focus, warm lights, close-ups of their faces, the way they gaze at each other... so beautiful. Of course there had to be some theatrics (ZYZ) and fond exasperation (ZYC) involved, too, that's just how they roll, and I'm eating it alllll up.

Did they *have* to go and draw the parallel to last drink and meal though? 😭 also, also, ZYC doing his best to emphasise that their "blood feud" is in the past! In how many ways does he have to tell you that he wants you to live before you get it, ZYZ?

I also remembered their conversation in ep 15, when ZYC asked how ZYZ could live with contradictions, and boy, is ZYC a walking paradox himself. His feelings seem so tangled and complex, but at the same time he's so clear eyed about them, and able to express them, even while saying that they're ineffable. And ZYZ's response! His face! ::head in hands::

The toasts broke me a bit. The way ZYZ hesitated for the longest time before downing his cup for the first toast. The goddamn *poetry* in ZYC's words, the goddamn eye contact throughout, the goddamn tension, HMH's goddamn face!  So good! 😭

!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay you know what? I think I'm getting better at this. There *was* the slight pause before the camera cut to WX and then back to our soulmates (they said it more than once now, I feel justified in using the word for them 😁), I'm gonna wait and see first!

Aw but they're both just so stunning with their hair flying around them lke that. I could watch them forever.

Loved the slow-mo before ZYZ collapsed. Poor WX! That quick shot of her wiping the blood off of ZYZ's chin was so satisfying somehow...

Ahhh I was right, they were in agreement and trying something dangerous together, not against each other! Yay for removing that godawful thing from his inner core, but now what? Are they gonna give it to WZY in exchange for the antidote? Do they actually believe that after all he's done he will play nice??? I love WX, scolding them both like a pair of unruly children 😂

Okay this is getting a little too convenient that they can get eavesdropped on so easily. And not to repeat myself, but where the hell are Ying Lei and PSJ?

I certainly didn't expect to get my wish so quickly lol I guess now we're really down to business when it comes to death countdowns... What did I just say? There is no goddamn antidote! What the fuck did WZY use to create that poison in the first place? The only solution is for someone to use their demonic power to absorb the poison into their own body??? Don't tell me that that's how ZYZ is gonna cure WX. And then ZYC will kill him so that he doesn't suffer. Looking at ZYC, he's about ready to sacrifice himself, though... ::incoherent pterodactyl screeching::

I keep repeating myself, but how is this kid 12. And finally the missing members of the squad reappear! (Just to get the front row, of course.) Oh, oh no. Even though I kinda knew that Ao Yin was going to do this... (I wonder if the poison worked way faster on her because she's a lesser demon?) I can't believe they made me cry over the human livers dealer!

I feel like I said it after every episode so far, but what an episode. I also find it more and more difficult to watch without being tempted to read other folks' commentary first, since I'm so anxious about what's going to happen next; so on one hand, I'd want to be prepared for the worst (so I should spoil myself), on the other though, I want to see what happens with my own eyes first... ah, decisions, decisions.

[iheartbrahmsy]

𖤐˖˚⊹IN THREE YEARS FROM NOW ♡

☆ PILE ONE 🍒

You seem to have went through a period of stagnation, where you had to sit back and re evaluate some situations in your life , realising that there’s some things that you need to cut off in order for you to heal and finally peacefully relax. It seems that you’re doing it with confidence. You’re ready for this change

In three years …

Starting off strong with the sun card..

This change definitely benefited you tremendously! You seem confident and willing to cut off everything that doesn’t serve you. You’re surrounded by people that you equally give and take from. I don’t think they’re a lot. It looks like a small cycle but you know they’re good for you and reliant!

In terms of love , I see indecisiveness coming to an end. You might have been through relationships where you were constantly arguing with your partner, but again, this is coming to an end. There’s this new energy in love , that either signifies the renewal of an existing relationship, or entering a new one! ( tbh, leaning towards the last one ). You also seem to communicate really well.

Extra: you might struggle with food a bit. I see that you don’t really have an appetite or even time to eat. Be careful of that!

You also seem to be moving places ! This could mean literally moving places or getting a promotion, going to uni/ college etc..

Also , you seem to be really proud of yourself and how far you’ve come !

☆ PILE TWO 💸

Currently , you seem to be investing a lot of your time in the work or studies. While I feel that it’s draining you I see that you are staying optimistic and expecting great results. Maybe you went through an exam period or were heavy on homework. This could also signify that you’ve put a lot of work towards yourself, and you’re really proud of it!

In three years …

You seem really confident with yourself and your appearance. It looks like you got the time to heal and re invent yourself. There’s a lot of blessings coming your way that you may not see coming. Some of you may be studying or working into the medical field as well!

You’re coming off as emotionally strong and ready to finally live your life to the fullest. You may go through a heartbreak. BUT! it seems minor to you tbh. I think this was caused bc of the mentality change you went through. You were tired of getting crumbs of attention and get treated poorly. You’ve been wanting this to change , but even if you were hurt , you were still holding on. You finally got the courage to do it. You’re starting to put your energy into things that will benefit you more in the wrong run. In these three years you’re really transforming your life for the better. Your coming off as victorious.

While I did your reading there was a commercial on the tv about “ first dates” , that played two times. So , going on first dates and starting something new in love might be major in the next three years

☆ PILE THREE 🩸

Right now, you might be going through a heartbreak , or have people interested in you , that you couldn’t care less about. And as you should. Their offers are nothing compared to what you deserve. Which I see that you already know. You might get approached by someone closer to your standards , but again , I’m not seeing something serious. You seem better off alone

In three years …

First of all , Jesus💀 ( in the nicest way possible)

You’ve went through A LOT in the past… In three years of now , you seem to still be really sceptical and picky with who you trust and let around you. Once again, you’re doing the right thing. You’re remaining focused on your desires and goals , and they’re coming to you faster than you think. I think you’re that “closed off” to love , bc of fear of getting hurt again. I see you went through some really bad situations but still managed to get through them. Even if you got badly injured , physically or mentally. I really see a lot of abuse here ( in the past ) , and the contrast between the past and your future crazy. You’re really protective of your feelings , and rightfully so. Even if you’ve never been in a relationship, you still want to be careful.

It seems that like pile two, you will be starting something new in love. This might be with a person you already know. That you trust and you know it’s reliant. This is not something casual or a fling / one night stand. I see you actually forming a beautiful relationship. You’re patience is being rewarded. You’re glowing and your person is clearly seeing that. You seem to be forming a beautiful relationship with good communication. You will achieve a lot of things together

[storiesofoblivion]

hello tags! It's been a little while since I've been on here, but I'm ready to dive back into the writing scene and looking for some new writing partners on Discord! ♡ please only interact with me if you are 21 + only, also just a small fyi my activity can be a bit unpredictable depending on life stuff, but I’m always around to chat, plot, and create if I’m not writing!!! 

I’d love to brainstorm some MUMUs (small town, big big city, holiday resort, band, reality tv show, open for the options), but also happy to keep it small with a singular plot! i just want to get into musings, making some fun pinterest boards, playlists etc! i want all the angst, fluff, pain and smut. 

a few plots and tropes which I am begging for and some fcs are below, but i'm open to anything and everything!!! if you're interested, give this a like and i'll reach out or message me! ♡

yearning plot, I just watched the Industry and it gave me the need for a pair who love each other, they completely yearn for each other but they can't be together. if you want your heart to break, listen to the last goodbye by the kills. I have quite a few different thoughts for this, they meet when they're young and they yearn for each other, but life gets in the way and ultimately they don't end up together, they love each other but one of them choses the path which is right for them. We can have them go through the break up and then meet again years across the line where it’s a mix of vulnerability and guardedness as both muses confront their past, knowing that the connection they once had slipped through their fingers. There could be moments of warmth and nostalgia mixed with painful realisations about how much has changed. I just need the angst!!!!

the affair, they’re both trapped in unhappy relationships, finding solace in each other’s arms. But as the passion between them grows, so does the guilt and the looming sense that their affair will only lead to heartbreak—for everyone involved.

trapped in a marriage of convenience, they were never supposed to fall in love. Bound by a loveless marriage for political or financial reasons, one of them has secretly harboured feelings all along. Now, as tension rises and secrets unravel, those buried emotions threaten to tear them both apart.

divorced couple, they are always in each others lives, their is fighting, they can't escape, let's add kids to the mix for the coparenting 

the one who got away, this is slightly different to yearning because this couple aren't the same vibe it's a different font okay. They were madly in love in their early 20s, but life and ambition pulled them in different directions. Years later, they reconnect—both scarred from past relationships. There’s undeniable chemistry, but the fear of repeating history keeps them at a distance. Can they let go of their past mistakes and take a risk on love again, or are they doomed to drift apart once more?

the cost of fame, he’s an up-and-coming actor/musician etc, skyrocketing to fame, while she’s still living an ordinary life. They were high school sweethearts, but as his career takes off, the pressure of his public image and constant media attention start to tear their relationship apart. Will their love survive the world of flashing cameras and false rumours, or will fame turn him into someone she no longer recognises??? where will the angst take us??

fighter plot, after re-watching the creed I need a boxer plot so maybe something like in creed where is fighting his way to the top, but his girl can’t handle the fear of losing him to the sport etc 

a coffee shop meet-cute, or any meet-cute where it can be something like she's the regular at his coffee shop, always rushing in with a complicated order and a smile that lights up the place. He’s the barista who secretly gives her an extra shot of espresso to brighten her day. After months of shy glances and friendly small talk, a chance encounter outside of the café leads to a series of adorable, awkward dates full of laughs, misunderstandings, and the beginning of something real.

a classic holiday fake dating, one of them desperately needs a date for the family’s holiday reunion to avoid endless questions about their love life, so they convinces their co-worker (or best friend) to pretend to be their partner for the week. Cue romantic holiday moments, cute banter, and the unexpected realisation that maybe they’re not just pretending after all.

I just need anything that is enemies to lovers, anything that is friends to lovers, anything that is forbidden lovers, anything that is exes to lovers to exes again, give me the slowburn, just any of these tropes on repeat

i also do have a wanted plots tag which is here - this has not been updated in a while but i will always want these plots! 

some fcs i’ve been wanting to play or have has opposites are below, i'm not limited to them and open to any other options too!!! 

drew starkey

oliver jackson cohen 

paul mescal

harris dickinson 

milo ventimiglia

tom hardy

fabien frankel 

theo james

callum turner

dev patel 

josh o'connor

alexander skarsgard

boyd holbrook 

grace van patten

hannah dodd

phoebe dynevor

adria arjona

bruna marquezine 

aslihan malbora 

alisha boe

pinar deniz

taylor russell

greta onieogou 

lucy boynton

[enhaheeseung]

At your service l. Heeseung

Pairing: live in maid heeseung x rich fem reader

Warnings: age gap, smut, protected sex, fluff, cursing, vulgar language, angst, heartbreak.

Masterlist

WC: 1,533k

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ ★★★★★★ ★★★★★★

“Heeseung, please, just this once, shut the fuck up,” Jay says into his phone speaker.

“My bad, I’m sorry,” he chuckled. “Well, did you do it?”

“Yes, I dropped it off around the back like you asked,” Jay replied.

“Great, this is working out perfectly,” he cheers.

“Say what’s in that big box anyway-“

Heeseung cut the call short and went back to your guy's table. “Sorry about that, baby,” he smiled softly.

“It’s fine. Was it important?” you asked curiously.

“Very,” he picks up his menu, gesturing for you to do the same with a smile on his face.

“What about?” You wonder while scanning the menu yourself.

“Just some business stuff, but everything is sorted now,” he assures you. “What’ll you have, darling?” He reached for your hand across the table, holding it in his.

“I think I'll just have the steak.” You squeeze his hand gently, an uneasy smile on your face cause of his sudden change in behavior after that call, but you try to push it in the back of your mind. You’re sure it was nothing.

“Then I’ll have the same.” he lifts your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to it.

Soon after you placed your orders, heeseung seemed to be acting like his usual self, which made you relax. You didn’t want to think he was up to anything bad, but it was hard not to with all the past experiences you had, but you knew he was different so you settled your troubled mind and enjoyed your dinner with him and it was the most fun you had in a long.

“Did you enjoy dinner?” He asked bashfully as he held your hand, swinging it back and forth. You both walked the length of the parking lot and back to his car.

“I did so much.” You leaned into him, a smile plastered on your face as the night came to an end.

“I’m glad, darling.” he stopped at the passenger side, opening your door for you.

“Thank you.” Before he could say you’re welcome, your arms were encircling his neck as you pulled him into a kiss.

“Hmm,” he hums against your lips, putting his hands on your waist and giving you a small squeeze. “You’re so cute, darling,” he mumbles softly and goes in for another kiss. You grip the roots of his hair, tugging softly as you tilt your head to the side to deepen the kiss. “No more kissing, or else we might not get home tonight.” You giggle and run your fingers through his hair.

“Yes sir,” you smile, giving him a small peck on the cheek, and finally step into the passenger seat.

He got in the driver seat, started the car, and took your hand in his the whole drive home. He rubbed soft circles on the back of your hand while you enjoyed the scenery in comforting silence.

When you arrived home you were sleepy but happy with how the night went cause it was the best night of your whole life with the love of your life.

Heeseung got the door for you like all the other times tonight, and you couldn’t have been more grateful you walked to the house hand in hand and entered together, taking your shoes off at the door while heeseung was behind you doing something on his phone. “Everything okay?” You asked him again cause his face looked a little concerned.

“Hmm? Yeah, everything is perfect except I think I left something in the car. I’ll be right back,” he tells a white lie as you nod your head and go upstairs to change into some comfortable clothes.

The timing couldn’t be more perfect as heeseung stepped outside and quickly made the exchange before you could come looking for him.

He re-entered the house quietly and kicked off his shoes, looking around to make sure you were nowhere in sight. He turned his back to the living room and called your name.

After you got changed, you heard heeseung calling you, and you jogged downstairs to see what he needed. “What happened?” You ask curiously when you see his back turn to you.

“Suprise!” He turns around, setting the small puppy on the ground, and he instantly runs towards you, his short little legs doing his best to run without toppling over.

“Oh my god!” You squeak in surprise at the sight of the puppy, and before you know it, you’re swooping the small dog in your arms, hugging him close to your chest.

Heeseung chuckles from a far and stuffs his hands inside his pocket as he walks over to you both. “Do you like the surprise?” He asks with a smile his heart melting at the sight of you two together it was even cuter than he could have ever imagined.

“Are you kidding me? Of course, I love it!” You say excitedly as you examine the tiny pug in your arms.

“Thought you might,” he whispers and kisses your temple while wrapping his arms around your waist. “Since I’m not around much during the day, I thought I’d get you a little something to keep you company while I’m away.” he rubs your back soothingly. “And I know going out is not really your thing, so I thought this little puppy would be perfect for you.”

You felt like crying from the small but thoughtful gesture no one had ever done anything even close to this for you. “Hee, thank you so much I love him already wait is it a boy or a girl?” You ask eyes wide as can be prompting him to laugh.

“Boy, I thought you could use an extra protector.” You smile at his words and lift up the puppy to give him kisses.

“Wait, I think I’m jealous already,” he jokes, and you turn to him, giving him a kiss as well.

“Can I name him?” You ask.

“Sure baby, he’s all yours.” he moves his hand from your waist, shrugging off his jacket and hanging it up. “Wait right here.” You nod softly as he steps out, and you can’t help but feel like he’s up to something else.

“Oh, what does daddy have up his sleeve now?” You played with his ears, thinking of a name for him. “Hmm, we’ll call you Bruno.” his ears perked up slightly, and that was your sign to go with that name. “Bruno, it is.”

Just as you settled on the name, heeseung came in with a large brown box. “I had to be discreet about everything, but I got a lot of essentials for our new boy.” he set the box in front of you, opening it and showing the contents as he sat on the ground. “I got food training pads and a dog tag that you can engrave later.” he shows you everything one by one, explaining each little detail or feature. “Couldn’t forget the treats,” you laugh softly. “And last but not least, a leash so we can take him for walks.” he shows it to you, a proud little smile on his face. “I saved a few things. That way, we can go shopping at the pet store together for toys.” You smiled at him fondly and set Bruno aside so you could inspect all the items he bought for Bruno.

“Heeseung?” You say his name, your eyes full of love, and you stare at him.

“Hmm? Did I do something wrong?” He pouts. “I forgot something, didn’t I? I knew I’d mess it up somehow-“

You cut him off his rambling. “I love you,” you tell him sincerely.

“O-oh,” he mumbles while awkwardly sifting through the items he bought cause what else could he do? He was too shy to look up at you.

“You’re so cute.” You tackle him in a hug, and Bruno hops from the couch, licking his face while you hug him.

“I love you too, y/n, and you’re cuter.” he booped your nose, one hand on your waist, the other petting Bruno lightly. “So, do you have a name picked?”

“Yeah, we‘ll call him Bruno. What do you think?” You await his reply while kissing his cheek.

“Bruno, Bruno the pug,” he says with a smile. “I love it, darling. It suits him perfectly.” he lifts his head just enough to capture your lips against his.

“Were you still up to doing what you said last night?” You tease him with a playful smile.

“Of course,” he smiles, already knowing what you’re hinting at as he caresses your side.

But a soft whimper is heard not even a few seconds later. You both look to the side, staring at a curious-looking Bruno with his head tilted to the side. “Or maybe that should wait til tomorrow.”

“Maybe,” heeseung laughs along with you, and instead of doing what you originally planned last night, you two spend the whole night together with Bruno, getting everything set up for him.

You had a smile on your face the whole time, and you could definitely see yourself getting used to this. You, Bruno, and heeseung all living together like a happy little family.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ ★★★★★★ ★★★★★★

Thanks for reading likes comments and reblogs are always appreciated sorry for any typos or errors I hope you all have a good day/night♥️

Making new taglist anyone who wants to me on it please comment or send ask.

[honeycreammilkshake]

Fun fact, in chainsawman the protagonist pities one villain and eats them, later that villain reappears as a little kid

Gege is also friend of Fujimoto (chainsawman) I wonder if he will do the same for Jjk and have some kid sukuna appearing

Omg, anon! That's such an amazing idea.

Honestly, I really liked what was going on between Makima and Denji... and now that I think about it, it's because there are a lot of parallels between them and Sukuita.

To answer your ask, I wouldn't be surprised if we get a similar fate for our cursed boys. Reincarnation has been a very interesting theme in JJK, especially in the Culling Game arc and how cursed spirits can keep re-manifesting (like the csm devils do). And it makes me think it's a very viable option for both Sukuna and Yuuji.

This scene was heartbreaking because Sukuna chose death over love, but I don't think Yuuji's letting him go that easy. Even if Sukuna currently cannot come back as himself, there's a chance he might get reincarnated. Yuuji says "Let's try again" which could in fact refer to starting life all over again from the start. Either way, no matter what fate Sukuna is dealt, Yuuji is waiting with open arms to receive him. He is the only one who can and wants to live with Sukuna, after all.

But to bring it back to Makima and Denji, what I find really fascinating is their relationship even after Makima is revealed to be the Control Devil. During their last fight, Denji finally manages to overpower her. Despite everything, though, he was still in love with her... which is why he ate her.

He cannot forgive Makima for killing everyone else, but he does say he can share in her sins.

It's much like the scene between Sukuna and Yuuji, where Yuuji literally offers to bear the curse alongside Sukuna, to accept him and live with him even if no one else can.

Cannibalism as a form of love is a common theme in poetry (which is very fitting when you realize Sukuna is both a cannibal and poetry snob himself) and is also associated with the consumption of those you want to keep close to you as explored very well in Chainsaw Man.

So that's why I'm also wondering... maybe in the end Yuuji will ultimately force Sukuna back inside of him? If not reincarnation, there's also a chance that he'll do what he did at the start of this whole story and consume the curse of Sukuna again. It would be a very fitting and symbolic ending, one that perfectly reflects the beginning, and it makes sense that someone determined like Yuuji wouldn't take no as an answer to his offer of compassion.

It's clear to me that Yuuji cares about Sukuna. And he might just care enough to consume Sukuna and let him resurrect inside of Yuuji's body once more.

Thank you for sharing your amazing thoughts, anon <3