#re-doing this bc I got bored of my old one

[percyweasleyapologist]

ʚ ︵‿︵‿︵꒰ welcome ꒱︵‿︵‿︵ ɞ

Hiiii! I'm Zoe and my pronouns are she/her. I am a MINOR so please don't be creepy or ask for donations.

I sometimes post my art on here and I love drawing! I'm pansexual, half-greek, and I have ADHD (plus likely something else that is undiagnosed lol). Also I have a wonderful super pretty boyfriend whom I love very much.

Feel free to come to me if you need someone to vent to or just want a talk, this is a safe space and I support all sexualities and genders <3

I take pinterest/mood board requests, ask and you shall receive!

╰─ ☆ Fandoms:

marauders, hp, pjo, merlin bbc

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╰─ ☆ Ships:

jily, jegulily, regulily, marylily, pandalily, quillkiller, dorlene, wolfstar, rosekiller, prongsfoot, dragonrose, doefae (my otp), perciver, percelope, percivelope, & woodwater

╰─ ☆ Role-play accounts (+pinterest):

@marauders-rp-account: The marauders rp that I run!

@luv-lily-fl0w3r @garden-of-lily @wilted-lily-flower @lily-0f-the-v4lley @evans-the-flower @flower-of-athens: Lily Evans

@barty-with-a-bat: Barty Crouch Jr Band AU

@mary-macdonald-official: Mary Macdonald Band AU

@vivienne-beaumont: Band AU fan account

@narc1ssa-bl4ck: Narcissa Black very sad AU???

@penelope-clearwater: Penelope Clearwater

Pinterest: deadgaywitches and percyweasleyapologist

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╰─ ☆ Tags!

#my art: for my art!! mostly fanart lol

#zoe's pet rat <3: my rat Pete (not actually my rat but he lives in my school water fountain and I've seen him like 3 times. we're cool)

#incorrect quotes: I do five incorrect quotes per day- usually two for hp and then three for marauders

#zoe's mood boards: I make mood boards sometimes hehe. I will make one for anyone who asks!! It can be your blog, a character, a ship, a topic, etc.

#aj fae: FOR MY VERY PRETTY AND FUNKY SILLY BOYFRIENDDDDDDDD <333

╰─ ☆ People!

My boyfriendddddd <333333 (irl): ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ @birdiebirdjay

bestieee: @blueberry0409ㅤ🧸ྀི

teen mom: @winn-wynn 𓇢𓆸

chronically-in-pain spouse: @bibeantransbean

another spouse!: @lirenthenonlyrist

my child that I adopted: @aceofspades42🦕

cool daughter-in-law: @yesiamprocrastinating

second child i adopted: @guess1mjustheren0w

pretty princess granddaughter <3: @rainystarssx

(link to full familr tree)

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[stargirlexie]

I saw a post about if sukuna had been trapped in some girls body instead of yuujis and just had to witness her girl blogging all day and I had to write it out. So yeah that’s what this is :)

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Human_planet New Post: Wed. June 4. 4:43am

So earlier me and my friends were dicking around at this abandoned hospital. I didn’t want to go because back when I was a kid and I had those hallucinations that was one of the places I had the worst one I had ever had. But I never told I friends about all that because they’d think I was crazy so I went. God I hope they don’t see this. So anyways we were in this hospital walking around and I got this feeling. I almost never feel it this strong since I got on my meds but holy shit it was strong this time. So I was trying to tell them that I think we should get the fuck out of there without making them think I’m insane but they just said I was fine and we kept exploring. As we walked around and explored the feeling kept getting stronger and stronger to the point I was nauseous and was getting so paranoid I could barely keep walking. Uh but then we go into this dark ass room and my dumbass friends found a GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING FINGER honestly idk how they found it i was too busy not freaking out to pay attention to them. But jace took it to their house for some bc the bandages had runes n shit on it. I’ll keep y’all updated on the finger my friends found ig bc other than that my life has been pretty fucking boring.

Human_planet New Post: Thurs. June 5. 2:24pm

I have officially come to the conclusion that all of my friends are insane. So everyone read about the finger my friends found yesterday and I have come to my loyal followers with an update. They dared me to eat it. Let me repeat that for the people in the back. They. Dared. Me. To. Fucking. Eat. A. Disembodied. Finger. WHO WOULD FUCKING DO THAT???? They’re all assholes. They saw how I was tweaking when I was around the finger and I guess they came to the amazing conclusion that I SHOULD EAT IT???? Are they fucking toddlers? Why do they want to eat everything they find interesting? Why am I not surprised? WHY WOULD I FUCKING DO THAT???? Anyways the update is that i will absolutely never eat a dead finger that is ANCIENT by the way. And also that I should probably re-evaluate my friendships and boundaries. Anyways I’ll be back with more yapping later! Bye bye chat

Human_planet New Post: Thurs. June 5. 5:47 pm.

I ate the god damn finger. I really need to work on boundary setting.

Human_planet New Post: Thurs. June 5. 6:03pm

IM FUCKING DYING OH MY FUCKING GOD

Human_planet New Post: Thurs. June 5. 7:56pm.

So… I didn’t die. But I still haven’t ruled out the dying possibility. Who knows maybe hearing a VERY angry man screaming in my head is just a hallucination that the poison in that old ass finger gives ppl before they die, I don’t know I’m not a old finger poison expert. But anyways yeah now there’s some guy screaming in my brain and it’s kinda giving me a headache if I’m being honest. Why can’t he shut up? I just want to die in peace. He can stop screaming nonsense about curses and violence and that he’s “the king of curses” and that I’m not worthy to have him in my body and let the poison take me silently. I need another joint. Fuck this stupid old finger poison. Bye guys.

Human_planet New Post: Fri. June 6. 9:42 pm

Uhh so I’m not dead. The man hasn’t stopped screaming and I just slept for over 24 hours and my mom thought I did in fact die. So I should probably be comforting her about scaring her like that and not posting. I’ll be back and if I don’t die I’ll update y’all.

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So that’s my first part 😼😼 I haven’t made a name for it yet but yeah

[fanatical4creation]

INVERTED! Insanity and Killer

Hey i'll tell ya a secret, i give duo names to my characters, this is the Insaneduo (this is what qsmp has done to me). Anyway, now "FANATICAL WHY ARE THEY-" shhh sh sh i'll explain, that's what this post is for. Btw this drawing is OLD but yet useful, the only change i'd do is Insanity's eye, it's in the wrong side.

Let's start with Killer or Kiki (do you love me?) for the most intimate, he's from an alternative timeline called Something changed, based on the comic/au Something New originally created by @/rahafwabas. Something Changed is an AU where the human get bored from Sans' face and change the sprites Underswap's, i mean he surely wanted something new eh? (ba dum tss)

That's all. Pfft-there's nothing new that's why the name is Something Changed, would it be to fit the swap theme or the story itself

Now let's talk about Insanity shall we? He's originally created by Zero danteero, he's... uuuuh he's something new.... ok i'll stop- anyway he still have his classic story it's just his visuals that changed, i guess... BUT here's the thing y'know Nifty from Hazbin? That's him, but he rarely talks, he's more like an animal but still an insane maniac, he walks all curved and everything he's a insane beast.

Btw i'll probably re-do Insanity, bc he's too complicated to draw and i want to animate him, so expect a new design on him.

Story:

Nightmare found both of them in their own universes there's not much to talk about Insanity's bc it's like-... It's like how a kennel takes in a dog, lmao 😭. But both Kiki and Sane causes a lot of trouble when they first came in to Nightmares place... th-the omega timeline.

Nightmare wanted to make a prision in the OmegaTimeline to contain them "oh but Fanatical that's so dumb" everyone knows, he tried to convince everyone it wasn't and he failed bc "the evil only prevails if the good fails" as he says, but it's mainly bc "against facts there are no arguments." as i say.

The Insaneduo come together in every mission, it's the assassin and the damage dealer (🤓), they're almost perfect but they need another one to complete the trio, who would it be?...

"FANATICAL WHY ARE THEY USING ELETRONIC ANKLES???" Well, remember the prision i mentioned Nightmare wanted to do? Yup. Nightmare did it anyways but hidden from everybody else, i still don't know if Core is omniscient or not so i'm working on it.

The ankles are to make sure they don't scape or get close to the the OmegaTimeline city thing or the doors, since the prision is way way way far away from the city bc-.. y'know, it's an empty void, and it's underground, y'know i've seen an livestream from FmsDraws that he says if you dig to the ground of the void of the OT it'll be all black and with inverted gravity, so i'm still working on how it looks, but i got some concepts...

That's all u need to know for now, maybe everything changes bc i'm still learning about OmegaTimeline, so be patient for fucks sake.

Killer sans (c) @/rahafwabas

Insanity sans (c) Zero danteero (idk which social media he/she/they are)

[idkacatmonstermaybe]

okay hello @headfulloffeathers jess this is for you and the approximately two other people who might care about this meta breakdown but these are some of the parallels i see between look homeward and supernatural

(thank you for providing a distraction boot smut is stumping me i only have like 700 words written 😭)

(also uh supernatural spoilers? i guess? in the year of our lord 2024?)

okay so idk how much you know about supernatural so extremely surface level summary when dean is four and sam is like a few months old a demon kills their mom and then they spend their entire childhood on the road with their dad hunting supernatural monsters and searching for the demon who killed their mom. that’s like………. the bare bones basic premise of the show before they started delving hard into the angels/demons/biblical lore which gets really interesting and convoluted and tbh i stopped watching at a certain point bc i got bored and confused. SO basic vibes their mom (mary) is killed and their entire childhood they’re dragged around the entire country learning how to kill things bc their dad (john) is on a revenge bender.

so big overarching parallels: dean is a literal toddler when he is given the responsibility of caring for his baby brother which is so similar to a1 being 12 and assuming responsibility for sickly little 9 year old a2

sam is also like…. “assigned wrong at birth” lmfao bc the demon that kills their mom feeds him his blood to give him special powers? very confusing BUT there are moments where he’s ostracized for his powers and being born different and the way that parallels gods specialest boy a2 actually hurts me

follow up to that is sam goes through a phase where he is discovering these new abilities and goes a little power hungry and he starts drinking demon blood (lol don’t worry about it) and this gives me pretty strong serial killer era a2 vibes? but this one is a little looser bc sam and dean are still hunting together while this is going on and i’m pretty sure serial killer a2 is during the 92-01 separation? but they both have “dark” eras lmfao

okay also re: 92-01 when sam graduates high school he goes away to stanford for college and there’s a big falling out with john a “if you walk out that door don’t bother coming back” type moment so the boys don’t see each other for several years and there’s kind of the energy of really not knowing if they’re ever going to see each other again which parallels the very little we know about 92-01.

ALSO there are several moments throughout supernatural where sam is pushing to try to have a “normal” life—like going away to college to try and get a piece of normalcy that they never got to experience as kids. there’s also an arch in a later ish season where sam goes to hell (again……. don’t worry about it) and his like dying wish is that dean gets a chance at a normal life so dean shacks up with this woman lisa and her son ben but then when sam comes back he obviously ditches them lmfao. so there’s even an eden parallel sneaking in there lololol.

one thing that stays consistent throughout the series is also the way sam and dean are willing to do absolutely anything for each other like…… literally bring about the apocalypse if it means keeping each other safe which is The Dynamic of all time and is part of what makes a1/a2 so compelling

oh also sam is the vessel for the archangel lucifer and dean for michael which is flipped based on a1 and a2 but it’s also a fun little tidbit

obviously none of this means literally anything BUT early season supernatural was a fixation of mine for a while (obviously lmfao) so i find it so fitting that there are so many themes and motifs from one of my og hyperfixations are present in my current one

[professorspork]

director's commentary sdau emerald scene

You know, I really should have seen this coming but I didn't.

Let's put it under a cut bc moderate spice and considerable length:

This scene went through more iterations and re-writes than the vast majority of its brethren.

I dug around in our chat history to find the exact moment we generated the idea, because this one wouldn't have happened without you. and you know what I learned?

it dates to mid-January 2023, which is literally before I started posting newsbees. this idea is OLD. it is some of the EARLIEST MATERIAL of sdau.

I told you I was reading this for fic research in the middle of an unrelated discussion about Emerald; you then joked that all you could think about was Emerald at the sex club giving vytal fic vibes, just bored out of her skull while people throw themselves at her, and I said I hadn't come up with a role for her yet.

you: emerald would try to go to the sex club after getting out of a toxic relationship the way blake did and then she'd be there for 15 minutes and nope the fuck out and run away me: which, actually-- she could be one of blake's one-off partners where after about 5 minutes blake's like "you are allowed to leave we really don't have to do this" and em's like OHTHANKGOD

I briefly considered a much crueler idea in which Blake witnessed Emerald and Cinder doing a scene together, but we quickly agreed that the original idea was the better one.

I haven't been able to find chat history about it, so I'm moderately certain that I didn't tell you about the fact that I'd decided to read poor Emerald for filth and give her the Mommy kink until I started showing you the scene in its original incarnation, in mid-July of 2023 (which has the benefit of showing just how long this project has taken me, lmao).

me: emerald. sweetheart. when you say mommy kink most people assume that means you wanna be coddled and not that you want to be negged. just. just saying me: emerald do you know what mothers are me: emerald

That first version of the scene differed in several keys ways from the final product, but the most crucial of those was that in the first go-around, Blake actually agreed to give Emerald her number. Em asked for it, and Blake said "Sure, I'd like that," and then the scene ended.

I sat on that for *checks time stamps* approximately 29 hours before I broke the news to you that, upon reflection, I didn't buy it; I just couldn't believe that Blake would be in a healthy enough place mentally to do that. the better and more accurate thing for the story would be for Blake to chicken out and then regret it, because she couldn't be for Em what Sun had been for her.

you: oh no why are you doing that it makes me sad me: because if blake is in a cool enough place to do that with em her actually exchanging numbers with yang doesn't hit as hard you: but now I'm so sad me: i mean it's still ME i'm sure i'll find a way for her to encounter em again before the end

(hmmm. Did I do that in the end? I SUPPOSE WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND FIND OUT, DEAR READERS.)

from there, once I'd figured out what the scene was truly for, it was still a lot of effort and tweaking before I got it to read how I wanted to: threading the simultaneous needles of being lowkey arousing but also inarguably unsettling from the jump, so that you're seeing those red flags but maybe, like Blake, thinking they can be overcome until it's very obvious they Can't. I struggled with how to frame it so that it came through that Blake was being... mmm, let's say reckless without crossing the line into Blake being irresponsible, and I wasn't happy with my first stabs at it. in the very first draft, after Em says says she doesn't want to discuss her burn scar and adds "There, that's a boundary, since you wanted one so bad," the prose goes 'There is absolutely no way they are fucking at this point, given Emerald's attitude, and… Blake doesn't know why she stays.'

Which: why would I tell the reader that? It's way too on the nose, and drains the scene of all tension! it also made the spanking moment read as overtly didactic in a way that I didn't like and hadn't intended, so. I tried to drill down into what I thought it was about.

adding the flashback moments to Blake's encounter with Trifa helped considerably; that wasn't in the first draft at all, though the fact that she'd had that encounter was already canon. taking a look at it again, I realized weaving those two together was an opportunity to show why Blake "lets" Emerald make this mistake and indulges her, because it's the same thing Blake went through and she understands it. massaging the tempo and timbre of my vocab took some doing so Blake wasn't in full-on panic attack mode and thus making it all seem WORSE than it already was.

and the final thing I changed was just... twisting that knife more and adding to their rapport. the original draft was brief; it went right from Emerald giving the Cinder backstory to Blake being like "congrats on past tense" and then it was the phone number ask. it was important to me to elaborate on why these two had chemistry, on how they were parallel, and on just how much they liked each other and vibed-- on just how much of an opportunity Blake was missing out on. so Blake laughing more at Em's jokes, and getting the Mercury context, that all came later.

in total, I think this scene had like five or six discrete iterations before reaching its final form.

[ma1dita]

Even though Luke doesn’t cheat on Trouble, I listen to Burn from Hamilton and imagine these two post tlt bc yes i like the pain,, no i don’t need therapy, officer 😀

girl the way this is probably canon anyway bc in the trouble!verse luke is a Hamilton Hater ™ and trouble was known to be singing songs from the musical with her ex-bf

im DYINGGGG but damn if you go to therapy hop in we can carpool

sidenote there's still a lot that can relate in the lyrics and im bored rn so lets feed into the delusion for a bit (guys I'm a fic writer who peaked in the 2010s in the age of bad youtube fan recreations of songs to fit their otps... i know how to work with scraps)

She said, "Be careful with that one, love , "He will do what it takes to survive" // You and your words flooded my senses, Your sentences left me defenseless, You built me palaces out of paragraphs, You built cathedrals // I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me, I'm searching and scanning for answers in every line, For some kind of sign, And when you were mine // The world seemed to burn, Burn

Mr. D warned her from the beginning about Luke, even silently in 'play pretend' because she was becoming more like her old self (reckless and crazy, just like him) when she was falling in love with Luke, and it isn't a bad thing but definitely takes away fro what her and Luke have been working at as THE counselors of CHB. Luke's always been good with words as a son of Hermes to the point that it even fools Trouble to some extent, there comes a point where her as an amazing actress can't tell when he's lying---and he learned that from her...

You published the letters she wrote you, You told the whole world, How you brought this girl into our bed, In clearing your name, You have ruined our lives // Do you know what Angelica said, When she read what you'd done?, She said, "You've married an Icarus, "He has flown too close to the sun" // You and your words obsessed with your legacy, Your sentences border on senseless, And you are paranoid in every paragraph, How they perceive you, You, you, you!

this made me giggle OKAY HEAR ME OUT LMFAOOOO ever since they got together (in the span of a little over a year before his betrayal), they always sleep in the same bed when they can as mentioned in 'now that we're older' because they barely have time to themselves in the day....when 'when the chaos is through' is posted, that's when Luke agrees to side with Kronos in his ultimate belief to protect Trouble from impending war and eventually give her a better life outside of CHB. (imagine kronos dressed as eliza schuyler and we're set because luke essentially brings him to bed with them for half of their relationship and she doesn't know LMFAOOOOO) and well yeah yall know his decline after TLT but he's in too deep to fall back

I'm erasing myself from the narrative, Let future historians wonder how Eliza reacted, When you broke her heart, You have torn it all apart // I'm watching it burn, Watching it burn, The world has no right to my heart, The world has no place in our bed, They don't get to know what I said, I'm burning the memories, Burning the letters that might have redeemed you // You forfeit all rights to my heart, You forfeit the place in our bed, You'll sleep in your office instead, With only the memories of when you were mine //I hope that you burn

The beginning part reminds me of the confrontation scene in 'love is a blister' where the counselors put Trouble on trial for loving Luke---the reality of it is they and everyone at camp only know what Luke & Trouble have shown them, but everything between them is private and their own. They didn't expect him to leave her behind. There are a lot of references throughout the series and especially in 'solipsism' where his last time alive as his waning sense of self he goes to visit Trouble who's fresh from visiting Annie in 'love is a blister' and he literally is burning through his old self as kronos overtakes his body. He couldn't imagine not being able to say goodbye before becoming true vessel and well in TLO, teeeechnically what happens and what i plan to write i--[GUNSHOTS]

me saying scraps and then copy pasting almost the whole damn song... ive said too much. this was entertaining, how'd I do?

[louisisalarrie]

heyy, what relationship do you think louis has with F? I know you don't believe that's his son, but personally I have many doubts on the whole thing and one of the main reasons is that i think he genuinely cares about him. I mean the way he talks about him and everything, and i dont mean interviews only, for example that time after a show when he met a little fan and he asked them how old they were and then he said something like "my little F is 7", he just said that bc he wanted to, so why would he do if he doesn't care about him? and I'm not saying that proofs that's his son, I'm just asking bc most larries that I see they claim that lou doesn't give a fuck about F, but I think he really does

hello lovely! if you are having doubts and want more info, check out this tags page that has a heap of bbg content from over the years that may help you make your mind up. and thank you for being respectful of what I believe even if you’re not sure 100% where you stand on it. so thank you and great to have you here!

I’ve touched on something similar to this before, in which, we know how much louis loves kids. him and his little sisters and bro, young fans, his sisters’ kids etc. like every situation we see him with a kid in, he lights up. same with Harry

anyway, I think bbg got out of hand and when it became far more long term and he had to be pictured with this child, he probably felt very frustrated and shitty that it got this far. He probably feels bad for the kid that his family got him involved in this, and now this kid won’t ever have a normal life. and so, he’s hung out with this kid every once in a while, watching him grow up, and I can imagine he probably does care about him a lot. He’s a very caring guy in general, and so under the circumstances, he’s trying to make this work the best he can.

He’s not gonna sit there and be like “gross kid get tf away from me” lol, but he’s balancing this distance of not being too close to become such a permanent fixture in his life, and not hurting this kid’s feelings. Again, it’s hard to know what F believes as he’s only like 8 or so, so I’m not sure how much they’ve divulged with him, but I’m pretty positive he’d know louis isn’t his dad by now tbh. but louis probably just feels shitty and wants to at least have the kid spend time having fun with him, rather than miserable for a life he didn’t choose.

Re your comment about him talking about F to the fans… in my opinion, bbg is now at the level of pretty much a strictly fan service stunt, and has been for a while now. we get the little gap filler articles from bored journalists like “all about louis tomlinson’s son!” etc. every once in a while, but otherwise it’s not really gaining him much publicity these days. he’ll mention him when he does those random Twitter chats, interviews here and there, and we get our annual Christmas photo (nothing for Father’s Day this year tho cough cough), but the GP don’t… care about it. But we as fans who follow his sisters’ accounts and are more invested, bbg is brought up for us. So because it’s not shoved in our faces from the press all the time, it’s easier to keep going with it by doing a mention about it here and there.

they still have this stunt as a bombshell to drop when necessary, though. Louis could gain some mad publicity with the end of it and still come out looking good, so it’s kinda just there until they find a suitable time for it to drop, which I have a feeling will be soon since it is so fan focused now.

lining up the end of stunts with releases/other big press news etc. is also quite tricky. this one has to be delicate because it’s got a kid involved, too.

[unicornachos]

Just some life updates & long ass random journalling

Saw multiple posts across social media over the break about ppl who need their routine and I'm the complete opposite. Truly thrive without routine. Never get bored. A++ marks in chilling skills. Could chill for the rest of my life and never need to go back to a routine

There's so much to do in life that's not work... I don't even think about work when I'm on leave bc I instantly enter my little world of food and books and art and films and fandom and watching video game playthroughs and nature appreciation (what I can get these days anyway given my severe mobility limitations bc of chronic pain). It's so easy to drift away from the real world and coming back is jarring and hard and a bit depressing :(

My therapy to better manage unhelpful thoughts over the past 2 years seems to be working tho bc I pulled myself out of my spiral today by journalling about it 🤙🏻 That was easier than usual bc I was in contract hell for the past 1.5 yrs, but last month I had to go through a deeply horrendous & stressful process of re-applying & re-interviewing for my own job to be made permanent (govt job bullshittery) that I had no guarantee of getting. But I got it and now I'll get a pay rise! It's scary bc more responsibility and more work which is not great for my attempts at recovery. But at the same time permanent job means I can have some sense of financial security, which is HUGE for me given all my health troubles and my uncertain future. I have no idea if I'll ever get better and so any sense of certainty I can have in anything in my life feels like a lifeline.

Oh speaking of therapy. I'm gonna try working with a new lady this year (in addition to reg psych) who is not a psych or medical professional but does pain reprocessing therapy. It doesn't sound very legit but I had a quick meeting with her a few weeks ago and we bonded over the uselessness of the medical system and she seems calm and someone who will listen to me and adjust based on what she thinks might work best for me. Idk if it will work or whether I'll be disciplined enough or capable of forging any new neural pathways away from the pain ones, seeing we still think I could have nerve damage or some other weird shit going on that we don't understand causing the pain, but I'm gonna give it a go 💪🏻 I'm gonna book regular appointments with her (while still trying to work a busy full-time job sighs) for a few months and just see what she's like to work with. I have nothing to lose by trying!

Other than that... What else. I made art last year despite it being a really hard year of stress and stagnation with my health. I got obsessed with JayVik. I started reading Realm of the Elderlings and I'm even More obsessed with that and 11 books in and liveblogging it all over at @unicornachos2. I made a Bluesky for my personal acct (unicornachos as usual) and one for my art (lesovyart also as usual).

I made a spoonie group chat which gives me a lot of support but also gives me the satisfaction of being able to support others, too. I stopped trying to reach out to a lot of people in my old city who don't reach out to me nor seem to care about keeping me safe. I celebrated my 30th birthday in October with people who respect my need to protect mine (and each other's) health, who were willing to isolate before visiting or mask during.

I made new work friends and even though some of them are leaving bc of the upheaval with our roles I think I'll still stay in contact with them a lot. And they all respect my need to keep safe from covid and other stuff too. Some of them came to visit me in winter for an outdoor picnic in my suburb and they brought me vegan pastries :')

I have really sad days where the loss of my mobility and personal freedom makes me cry in honestly bottomless grief. I get a horrible aching in my chest if I think about it all too much. They don't come as often as they used to bc I have a lot going on in my life and I have good things to distract me, but the grief and uncertainty for my future is still there.

I think the grief has made me weirdly less susceptible to other forms of it. Or things that would usually trigger stronger sadness in me now don't. Before I'd tear up at the slightest sad thing- in life, in a tv show, movie, whatever. We lost a family friend this year and I didn't shed a tear, and I know I usually would have. I've always fully felt my emotions, processed them, let them move through me and out. But it's like... The pain of what I've lost is so monumental that other losses or sadnesses don't feel as... close to me. I feel a slight distance from them. I don't know if I like that because it doesn't feel like me and who I've always been, and been proud of being. But I think my brain is trying to protect me and so I feel... neutral about it I think. It's doing what it has to, to help me get through.

OH and finally, we're switching gears completely LOL, I've decided that I'm gonna buy myself a switch when the new one comes out (supposedly) in March. I can't play PC games anymore bc I have to be horizontal 95% of the time, and there's no comfy way to arrange my setup at home to accommodate this. So I've been watching playthroughs of stuff instead. But I think I deserve a reward for getting through last year and getting a permanent job! So I'm gonna get a switch and then I'm gonna play the fuck out of tales of the shire as soon as it comes out and run around foraging mushrooms and baking pies and growing plants etc.

Finally, ig I'll spill everything here bc why not. I've been thinking lately I'd like to try and date but I have NO idea how to make that happen. I feel like my life is so busy and chaotic and uncertain and I can't get anywhere myself and can't travel very far for very long. And my emotional availability is questionable, lol. But I just kinda wish I had A Person™ or A Partner™ to rely on and be interested in and to have a crush on someone again. I miss flirting!!!!! I miss dating!!!!!! I miss going out for drinks in the city and going on walks and going to gigs and queer events... I can't do any of that now. It's been a rly long time since I've had that bc the last few years have been so hard. And my life is so full of... Full-time work and enjoying my hobbies while I can and trying to take care of myself and do my meditations and manage my pain and mental health with zero medications and my completely fucked sleep. And I think about where my symptoms are at and I have no idea if they'll ever get better. At the start of 2024 I got even worse and then just plateaued. But I'd like for things to improve, even slightly, if possible, before I would even feel ok and not guilty with trying to make something like that happen. I've always just felt like I know there's a person out there who's perfect for me and I have a very clear picture of the kind of person that would be, but I have to go out and find them somehow. And I know it'll be hard probably bc I'm so weird and particular. And I wonder if an able-bodied person would become frustrated with how little options I have for where I can go and what I can do, but I don't see how I could go on dates unless I did date someone who can physically do all those things. It also doesn't help that I'm extremely picky lmfao. So ig I'll just keep it in the back of my mind for now and see how the next few months go.

That's my brain dump into the ether of Tumblr for the night!!!!!!!! I have my first day back at work tmrw but I don't regret staying up and writing all this out tbh

[foxcassius]

i read lots of books this year so i'm gonna post opinions about some

gita desai is not here to shut up

sonia patel

this book is like a 2.5/5 stars for me. did i cry yes but its very hard to not cry when a book is talking about something traumatic that you happen to have experience with. i find that the metaphor was shoved pretty hard, i read the words chup-re at least 400 times over the course of the book i think, and while its a good metaphor you dont need to dumb something down and shove it front and center just bc its a ya book. the book also reeked of like bioessentialism? there were no good men in the book except gay men and the mc's brother. dads are bad uncles are bad boyfriends are bad guys you meet at school are bad guys you meet at work are bad. the author couldn't find it in her to write a man who wasnt a violent rapist who wasnt gay. it felt very pandering and vaguely radfem. the main character's thoughts were so tangental and rambling i had trouble reconciling that people she interacted with had normal interactions with her. kind of weird overall with the takes and the writing choices.

the emily wilde series

heather fawcett

first i want to state my confusion about these books being ya……the protagonist is 30 years old. is it just due to the lack of sex? does lack of sex a ya book make? i think these books are good, a solid 4/5 stars. i cant say much for them other than that they are entertaining, especially to me. the fae love interest isnt controlling or dark or brooding he’s just kinda goofy and particular and faeries are referenced/the worldbuilding is done so as to build a very cozy and pleasant view of the fae and their world without it being too cozy. in complement, the dangers of interacting with faeries are highlighted without it being overly grim and melodramatic. there is a lot of reference to real folklore but like more niche real folklore and a wider variety of it instead of just the same six superstitions over and over again. They’re not 5/5 because i have a certain bar for that but there’s nothing like wrong with the books theyre enjoyable.

hench

natalie zina walschots

this book is like a 4 or 4.5/5 for me. i think i lean more towards a 4 because it was longer than it needed to be and the ending was pretty blah in my opinion. the book carries the pov character’s voice very well and addresses the made-up issue of its world (that parallels our real world in ways) very head-on. the way the plot and the characters build is natural and realistic. it can be slow to start but once you get into it you’re pretty into it. it drags its feet as it waddles towards the ending but you stick around because you do want to see what’s going to happen. if you’re really into romance though and want the romance a lot you will be disappointed

this is how you lose the time war

amal el-mohtar and max gladstone

i feel like i’m not smart enough to fully appreciate this book or something. not into poetry enough to Get It i suppose. i did like it. it’s like a 3.5 or 4/5. it’s the only pov-change book i’ve read recently that warranted it. but its a difficult book to recommend to people because it is sci fi, right, but its also got a really weird writing style. i really dont Know what to say about it? it was good and i liked it but if i was the target audience it would have been Gooder and i would have liked it More, maybe.

other birds

sarah addison allen

this book is a prime example of changing pov where no change of pov is necessitated. it’s like a 2/5 for me. i did finish it. i dont know why the author insists on using changing pov when every character’s pov has the exact same voice as every other character. its also just kind of a boring book its not that interesting. and the only black characters are elderly parental figures even though there is a pretty full cast of young white people running around being heartfelt. like you didnt think for one moment to make one of them a slim shade less white? not worth reading in my personal opinion.

the bog wife

kay chronister

another pov change book that had no business being changing pov. if this book had picked a main character, it maybe would have been a 3/5. as it is, its 2/5. it's a long book with very little character development or payoff to speak of. i guess you solve the mystery? a little? not even, really? i dont know maybe im just not smart enough to get it but this book was a huge miss.

the unlikely pilgrimage of harold fry

rachel joyce

this is like a 4.5 or 5/5 book to me. it is one of those books that is quintessentially about humanity and realizing that everyone around you is a human with a life and a story and a sorrow of their own. i understand how people could find a book like that kind of boring or condescending, but i like books like that, and i liked this one even though it felt pretty direct and low on metaphor. i teared up and cried my fair share towards the end but there are about 30 children’s picture books that make me do the same that i can name off the top of my head so not really a MASSIVE feat i suppose. i would recommend it.

till the last beat of my heart

louangie bou-montes

this was like a 3.5/5. an extremely low-stakes ya sort of urban fantasy romance. i dont even know if im using urban fantasy correctly here. the writing style is just sort of okay in my opinion and when you step back, they spend a lot of time waffling around not doing much. i felt like it could have used one more draft, and i mean draft like start over from the beginning with a blank page and write only what you remember of the most important parts of your old draft. it was good though and other than just feeling like the writing could have been tightened up there is nothing wrong with it.

a good girl's guide to murder

holly jackson

not normally the kind of book i would read but kids keep asking for readalikes to one of us is lying so i had to read a few and have more on hold. this was the best one of the bunch, 3.5 or 4/5. realistic? no. pretty good though? yeah. i appreciate that the book acknowledged racism without trying to center it in the narrative. maybe some readers would prefer the story to have tackled it more head-on, but i think with a white author this is a better approach. i think there were plenty of leads to keep the mystery interesting but the solution didnt come out of left field or anything, and having so many loose suspicious people does set it up well for sequels, which i know it has but i wont be reading them.

all your twisted secrets

diana urban

this is like. a 2.5/5 or 3/5 for me personally because i am not a teenager who is into this genre. when it got to the end and *SPOILER* it turned out the main character set everything up, i was just like lmao. no she didnt though. like i know you wrote that she did but like. no she didnt. would suffice as a readalike for one of us is lying though which fulfills my purpose w it.

a danger to herself and others

alyssa sheinmel

follows a girl with psychosis who doesnt realize she has psychosis through her court-mandated stay at an institution for evaluation/diagnosis if possible after her summer program roommate falls from their second-story dorm window during a game. its like a 3.5/5. i cant speak to whether or not its an accurate portrayal of the illness, but it shows how she changes and her view on her doctor and the insitution changes as she comes to terms with things and gets medicated. also portrays how she struggles with missing people from her hallucinations and how missing them can tempt her into not taking her medication and similar struggles.

jubilee

patricia reilly giff

this is one of my favorite books of the past decade full stop. 5/5. its a children’s book. a young girl with selective mutism who was left to live with her aunt as a very small child is moved from the special ed class to the general classroom at the start of 5th grade and is adjusting to it. she makes friends with a dog a random man throws at her in the ocean and also with a dirty, rough boy who is always being chased and beaten by either his brothers or his parents. her aunt’s not-boyfriend tells her he wants to marry her aunt but wants her permission/approval, and then also she finds out her mother who she hasnt seen in like ten years is living on the mainland a mere ferry ride away. all of these are things she struggles to answer/make decisions on/be heard about. its a book about adjusting and growing and moving past your traumas and i cried a lot its a really good book. i recommend.

the puppets of spelhorst

kate dicamillo

another 5/5. childrens book. beautiful, sad, hopeful, poetic, just an extremely good read. i truly have nothing else i can say about it.

the land of neverendings

kate saunders

a book that tackles grief. a real 4.5/5. its a childrens book. it is explicitly sad and does not shy away from talking about death and grief and every little thing associated with losing someone. a young girl loses her older sister, who was disabled her whole life. she feels strange because she finds her grief over her sister manifesting as missing her sister’s bear, bluey, who was cremated with her. when she starts catching glimpses of the world of toys she had always made up stories about to keep her sister entertained, she jumps the hurdles of hope and disappointment over and over again as her desperation to see bluey and, in turn, her sister staggers between the extremes. it is so well written, it depicts both raw, recent loss and long-lived loss clearly and realistically, and i really recommend it.

the grace of wild things

heather fawcett

i wanted to read this book when i worked at my last library, then i came to my new library and forgot about it, and then while reading the emily wilde series i was like hey. that author's name looks familiar. which is kind of funny to me! she must be busy, because this book and an emily wilde book both came out this year i think? anyway a good 3.5 or 4/5. sort of an anne of green gables retelling but with a heavy magical twist. the main character, grace, is a witch, and runs away from her orphanage to seek out an old witch the kids have told her about who cooks and eats children because grace wants to be her apprentice. this book does not shy away from scariness, often depicting the witch as terrifying and confirming she does cook and eat children, going so far as to have the bones of them left in her oven and etc. i think its very good and original as far as anne of green gables retellings go and it has really wonderful voice, something heather fawcett just seems to do well.

[galedekarios]

Hello! How are you? Thank you so much for your answers about BG3. I am a little bit frustrated because I try to get a glimpse of all thé romance but most of the videos are about Astarion which is totally okay don’t get me wrong but still. So thank you for providing us with some Gale content. Do you know any creators or people that romanced Wyll and Karlach because I saw à lot of négative comments about how Wyll romance is boring and got less content than the others. Thank you!

thank you for your message! i'm doing well at the moment and i hope you are, too. 🖤

i plan to make many more gale edits--especially of his romance--because i find it extremely well done on all accounts. i'm just trying to pace myself.

i have tried wyll's romance on a gale origin playthrough because with the choices that i picked, they just vibed really well together and wyll's approval and morals are very aligned with gale's own.

wyll's first romance scene, which you get in act ii, is actually incredibly sweet and i loved it very much. what i was a bit... disappointed with, i suppose, was the second romance scene in act iii, which felt very abrupt and just not at all on the same level as his previous one.

[spoilers below]

in his first romance scene in act ii, he shares a dance with the protag and it's just a joy to watch: it's beautifully animated, the music is amazing and i'm very sad it's not on the official soundtrack as far as i can tell.

the second romance scene you get in act iii feels... rushed and a bit out of the blue considering all that's going on. the animations are very janky. i don't know if it's due to being only rigged for a female body type at the moment or if it's a bug, but yes. that was the first thing that completely took me out of the scene. it's a really stark downgrade in quality, i think. i included screenshots because of this so you have a visual comparison of the level quality.

he basically takes you to a fabled old oak, growing near baldur's gate and he tells you a story that completely comes out of left field, picks up an acorn of said oak, tells you his mother always said there was a touch of wishing magic in it (again, it's completely out of the blue bc he never once mentioned his mother before and just doesn't match thematically with what's going on in his quest or the main quest). he then sort of proposes to you with that acorn--again, very sudden when all you did before was share a dance--and if you accept, then you get a kiss and a roll on the grass with a fade to black:

again, i cannot stress how rushed this scene feels, how unfinished and how short it is. i think it's a bit over a minute overall.

i'm very sad about it because the start of wyll's was very strong and he deserved better. all in all, i don't think wyll's romance suffers from being boring at all. his re-write is very good and i like his character a lot now compared to early access. what i do think it suffers from is that it feels rushed and has not received the same care and polish as some of the other companions have. there's little to explore in terms of how he feels about the protag even between those scenes compared to, say, gale's and, as i've heard, astarion's.

my next playthrough will perhaps explore karlach's romance. i'll definitely let you know how that goes!

anyhow, i'm sorry this got so long, but i hope it was helpful!

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. saturday we did voy's "basics part ii" and "flashback," and last night we did voy's "the chute" and "the swarm." not really last night changed bc i am writing this at fuck o clock its going up tmrw w/o me but w/e

basics part ii:

this one was fine. or rather the a-plot of this was boring, the b-plot fucking ruled

like, what do i care about the surface of this planet? ik there's a whole season that happens after this, nobody important is gonna die. even the critter was no that interesting

also, FUCK the baby not really being chakotay's. i was so fucking devastated. i wanted him to have a little guy sooo bad. they gave it to me and then snatched it away. imagine how he must feel...the whole ship in danger to save the kid that wasn't really his, and two people DIED in the process. the a-plot was terrible.

but ohhh the doctor and lon suder taking on the kazons alone. mwah.

first of all, what a match-up. the doctor can't be killed or harmed, not really, not the way suder used to enjoy hurting people. so that puts them on totally even terms

secondly, the fact that suder FINALLY almost overcame his violent impulses and now he has no choice BUT to give into them for a cause greater than his own needs (to have peace with himself)...that's juicy stuff. his struggle when he came back after killing that one guy was absolutely incredible.

finally, i love that out of any two people who could be stuck on voyager, you get the idea that these two people had the best chance of doing what they did. like the doctor is quite literally PART of the computer that runs the ship, and suder has all the violent impulses of his former life now combined with tuvok's methodical nature and his own hard-earned patience. truly a force to be reckoned with. it doesn't really push your suspension of disbelief when he takes out all those guys at once because part of him has been waiting to do that for a looong time

genuinely i'm only disappointed they killed him...a character like this could have EASILY been a regular. i'll miss him so much

flashback:

I LOVED THIS ONE.......

the undiscovered country was not my favorite tos movie by far (it ranks near the bottom actually) but i wish i had skimmed it at least before watching this. the movie footage being there was so so fun, and JANICE RAND! i'm always so happy to see her turn up, she deserved so much better, even if most of her tos scenes did annoy me to death

anyway, imagine being in a show and 30 years later they are calling you on the phone asking if you would like to do another episode of the show. star trek really is so unique in that regard, very few franchises have that same kind of staying power. m*rvel who? get the fuck out of here.

i looooooved getting more of tuvok's backstory. i think it's really hilarious that spock's parents almost disowned him when he joined starfleet but after that vulcan parents are like pressuring their kids to join to be more like him. poor spock and poor tuvok i wish they could have met onscreen just once

janeway in the old uniform!!!!!!!! she looked amazing

mixed feelings about janeway's speech about how things were different in the tos era and that's why sometimes they didn't do the prime directive. actually, it's funny because i got a little huffy at her "they were quicker to reach for their phasers" comment like GIRL NO THEY WEREN'T and then like the very next day i watched "taste of armageddon" where kirk did immediately start blasting because the disintegration chambers triggered his tarsus iv trauma and had to reluctantly forgive her

that said. spock mention.

the chute:

something lgbt happened on star trek voyager...i don't ship this couple because i'm still kirby with a gun re: tom paris, but i'm incredibly happy for people who do. i think about how i would have been if this had been chakotay and janeway instead (besdie myself) and i just KNOW the harry/tom shippers were eating

i wish harry kim got more to do...he had a little more this time but his solo scenes didn't have much meat to them, it was his scenes w tom paris that really stood out

and like i didn't hate those scenes, but the "shitty hellhole prison" plot itself also kind of bored me, because we just saw a far superior version of this happen to o'brien on ds9 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and to me one half of tom/harry is kinda boring and never gets his chance to shine, and the other is eternally on probation for being too annoying in season 1. so i had a hard time staying invested

that said it was very fun when janeway came down through the hole guns blasting. now who's playing cowboy, captain?

the swarm:

this was another one where the a-plot sucked and the b-plot ruled

i know janeway doesn't wanna add another 15 months, but man, come ON...it was very dumb not to go around. it was even dumber to not go around WHILE YOUR DOCTOR WAS BROKEN. take a few days to fix him and THEN go. also WHAT HAPPENED TO HER IDEALS? the showrunner really needed to keep this shit straight this was wildly out of character for her. that plus constantly brushing off kes...not her finest episode tbqh

the doc losing his memory was great though. kes is SO kind to advocate for him as she does and she and b'elanna were just great in general. kes even gave him a little kissy!! treat him really niceys: the episode

the other doctor hologram was really funny too although his usage of the "it" pronoun made me flash back to my rage when people did that to data during tng

it was actually so true to life how people with dementia act...kes did a great job of keeping him calm until the end :(

and the humming!!! i can't believe they left it there, but i suppose the implication is he gets it all back. and what a breath-taking spot to end it, honestly

TONIGHT: ds9's "apocalypse rising" and voy's "false profits" (i read the summary and good god someone HELP me)

[therealcocoshady]

I love lucky you too. The MV was so cool 😭.

As for why I can’t stand Skylar - Girl there’s a lot of reasons. 1. I also think her vibes are kind of weird and obsessive when it comes to Marshall? Like she’s always using his music in posts, posting about him, etc and I find it a little weird how she’s always tied to him. Which brings me to reason 2. Shes so dependent on that man musically it’s sad. And I feel like he’s depended on her too when he doesn’t even have to be. Like every concert she’s there performing. Every song that needs a female vocalist, she’s singing. She’s always talking about her collars with him and it’s weird as F*CK. Like we get it. You and Marshall made music together. We get it that your on his albums. We get you go in tour with him. NEXT. 3. He keeps using her as a vocalist… I’m so tired of hearing her voice bro. Like deadass. At first I was like okay. I won’t disagree that she’s talented because she is. She can be. Her music writing skills are phenomenal. But her singing… hang it up please. She is SO mediocre and bland it’s actually insane. She is BORING. Her vocals are the same old same old, her stage presence is lame. She stand in stage in one spot singing and moving her galea’s to look at him and the crowd but goes no where. She doesn’t move, she is just boring. And I hate to say this, but he could do SO much better for his albums. There’s so many good vocalist out in Detroit and everywhere else. Why doesn’t he hire them? He used ONE new vocalist that was a black woman and that shit SLAPPED. She ATE DOWN on that song. Then never used he again. Went back to Skylar’s vocals. 🤨 3. She’s keeps saying she’s working in stuff but it’s just repetitive. Like how many times are you gonna re-record different version of Love the way you lie? 4. To wrap it all up, she’s giving work wife. It’s giving he keeps her around because he feels bad for her and her situation. It’s giving why the fuck can’t you find another vocalist it sing in your songs? She’s just boring and over hyped to me. I think she should stick to song writing but that ain��t my business 🤭.

Man’s as for the Christianity thing, I don’t think it’s so much so as a US thing or him being a born again Christian (that’s the first I’ve ever heard about him being one). Like I get where he’s coming from bc I’m kinda the same. I don’t think he’s always been super religious or anything by any means but he’s always had faith. He doesn’t go to church on a Sunday or read the Bible but he got respect for the man upstairs and believes. He’s just not overly flamboyant about it if that makes sense. I just think with the track (Use This Gospel) he tapped into his faith for the sake of the because we all know Kanye is more into that genre and is way more open about his views. He’s mentioned God/Christianity in his music before

Mmmmh. I never gave Skylar that much thought but... Yeah. Makes sense. It IS true that while she is a talented songwriter, her vocal skills are nothing to write home about (in my humble opinion). She sings prettily but it's always sort of the same and some of Em's music could be more impactful if he put someone on there with a better voice/vocal range.

Thanks for answering the Christianity thing. I think I read something about him being a born-again Christian and that is what made me wondering. But it is true that he's mentioned his beliefs before. I'm kind of the same too. But anyway, This Is Gospel is an amazing song so I'm happy he is on it !!!

[drawnaghht]

just for the record, for Samurai Rabbit fans who do like the show, objectively, the show is pretty good. What's the objective measure here? for me it's usually just much I can enjoy it while watching, but there's always more to it than that. i was a bit bored with the show the first 2 eps, but then it surprised me with a few elements in ep 3. I slowly understood what it was actually going for with the slowness. I kept watching and found things I liked about it. Got all sorts of theories and connections and story ideas. I started re-reading Usagi Yojimbo and went looking for more crew interviews. Saw how much the cast and crew seemed to like it and I'm convinced that it was a good show to work on. Rewatched it in other dubs to get some other perspective for my theories. But that's just one way I enjoy shows.

Of course, there's no real objectivity when it comes to tastes, so I say, if you like it, like it unabashedly. You never know when a show just ends or you'll look back and might feel sad you didn't really let yourself enjoy it, just because others don't. I've watched much trashier shows before this one, (comparably, Samurai Rabbit isn't even trashy at all), and those have gotten much less hate, for being much much more annoying/bad/low quality as a whole x3 You don't have to feel bad about folks hating on the show online. They just have a different taste than you. But if you like it, that's really the only metric you need to judge it.

(this is specifically a thought bc a younger fan wrote to me that they felt sad that the show got so much hate in reviews/online posts etc)

if the show was truly as bad as some folks say, it probably would not have been made. there are just so many factors at play in making a show, i personally just try to go by my gut feeling at this point abt shows and if they're going to be fun to watch or not.

and lol i don't have the energy to put this into a longer well-articulated post but still wondering i guess why there are so many posts with "oh this show ain't so good, i hate it" etc etc

so????

sorry for sounding harsh or whatever but literally, watch more animation!!!! there are shows worse than this one and if you'd been alive when those aired you would have watched them and remembered them fondly, only to realize one day you were just watching them out of boredom bc there was nothing else animated on

even shows which we lambast as critical darlings within fandoms had their ups and downs during airing

how well a show is received always depends on how much the network loves it, but also a lot of pure luck

or you'd find a good show and see that the network abruptly ended it, not even with a solution or real ending, but just something open bc the creators were hoping the show could come back. or the show would come back, but completely changed, something so unwatchable you wish you could unwatch it

at least, that was my experience watching cartoons as a 20-something or younger, coming back to cartoon-watching because I had time after highschool

maybe the show just came out too late/early, and would have found a different audience if it came out at a different time. I think about how ROTTMNT was received and how now reviewers are coming back to it, with tails between their legs like "UmU this show was not so bad... after all!!!" shut it!!!! i guess compared to how rise was treated by old TMNT fans and critics alike, this one has gone fairly under the radar or remained almost unremarked upon. Well, old UY did complain about it, and youtube reviewers too, so it's sorta the same thing. kids' cartoons will always have adult critics because everyone thinks they know how to run a cartoon/know what a good cartoon is xD

find other things to do!!!! make your own cartoons and see how easy it is. western cartoon/tv is just how it is and it's not bad to expect more of it, but also, it feels weird to go along with hating or reviewbombing etc just because that's become something "in" now. there's worse media than an animated adaptation turned into a kids cartoon, made during the pandemic.

lowkey some of you just seem kind of spoiled with how many good series there are, and you're just putting the bar so high for even shows you like, NOTHING is good for you unless it's extremely perfect or catering to each and every of your expectations xD

yea ok, it's a children's cartoon - whatever! western children's cartoons can run such a wide gamut of quality vs enjoyability, there's so many shows now you can enjoy instead.

if it's good for you, great! if it's not, ok! don't go posting it in the tags as some universal opinion lol xD

again, there are much worse cartoons out there in the past and in other parts of the world. one little animation mistake or even several per episode aren't going to break my enjoyment of the episode or show as a whole xD

the slowness i mentioned experiencing for example, is also subjective. A reviewer on Commonsensemedia, wrote that they found the show too fast-paced, but that their young daugther liked it, and how the messaging came off as good to both them and their child. It's a matter of perspective.

like yeah, it's a bit goofy and dorky at times, I personally do not get some of the jokes (more on that in a proper review) and maybe as an animator, i'm a bit annoyed at some of the things done with the 3D animation specifically. But that's personal! and those are so few things. on the flipside, I was still able to enjoy the rest of the show, because to me it felt like a lot of care and thought was put into it as a whole. Like, many of the visdev team actually asked to be on the show. It can't be that bad if long time professionals around the western animation industry want to work on it.

A show that's truly bad, would not even bother fleshing out some sort of villain or antagonists at all, and mabye would have scrapped Kagehito as a character entirely, when hearing that it was sort of impossible to animate him as intended. But there's a lot of stuff in this show like that. Compromises from the crew, so they could still make the show and focus on aspects of production and story that were more necessary. So for example also, lobbying for more appearances of Miyamoto Usagi, even though Netflix was not on-board with that themselves, the producers and showrunners were.They were pushing for more of him and his backstory in this show.

so eah, idk, this ended up long anyway, but just, if you like it already, it's ok xD you don't have to justify yourself to other fans or people. and honestly, if you dislike it, same thing. you don't have to justify it. you can just dislike things without reason.

[shatterspin]

Hey, it's me again. I just re-read what I sent yesterday, and, dude (gender-neutral), I was fasting when I sent that, and I was barely awake, and it sounds like I was hating on the Arabic dub...? I mean, sure, I think they're horrible, and part of me dislikes them, but they were still my childhood.

And about the jokes thing, I get that not every single joke can be translated, but at least they can replace them as you said, or when they translate them, they should try to make it less of a mess than they end up being (like the tashkeel usually ends up wrong when they translate everything literally, and you'll have me, kinda likes e3rab, being like, "No, that should be mansoob, it's maf3ool behe?")

It's been a long time since I watched Zane's Sacrifice in Arabic, but I remember little me found it really funny (on an unrelated note, I have a cousin called Zain, and I hated him, so that might have contributed). With Garmadon getting possessed, his screams were... well, I found them funny. It sounded more like he was pooping than getting possessed.

I watched Ninjago on CN Arabic. I don't remember that much of it since I was little (again, I was about 4-5 when it started, and I started watching it on CN MENA in English when I was about 11; I'm almost 17 rn), and I asked my little siblings about it, and they barely remember anything. But I remember most of what @localguy2 said. I don't think they aired the pilots as I didn't know about their existence recently. CN was obsessed with replaying the same episodes over and over again. They also skipped many parts in the episode itself (like any romantic parts), and they ended up cutting some other parts of the episode, where it got confusing. But I do remember S1's finale airing, like I vividly remember watching Wu get out of the Devourer, sipping his tea, when I was little, so I think @/localguy2 just missed it or something. Which just reminded me of another thing. CN Arabic was so inconsistent with its timings. Like let's say, they would air Ninjago from Sunday to Thursday at 5pm. They would randomly decide to put the new episodes on 1 pm on a Friday, and they'd repeat the old episodes between Sunday-Thursday. So, even without CN itself skipping episodes, we already lost many episodes because of that, and catching up with the plot was practically impossible. I don't think I ever watched SoG on CN Arabic, so I either missed the episode, or for some reason, CN decided not to air that one. And wait, DotD got released in Arabic? I never saw it, and I was so confused how Cole was human again. But I never watched DotD in Arabic.

As of Hunted, I switched to watching Ninjago on CN MENA where they air the episodes in English. They still have the thing where they cut out "romantic" scenes and other stuff (for example, in Crystallized, you know the scene where Harumi is getting the Overlord back? They skipped the whole thing. Like you had Lloyd begging Harumi to be good or something idr, and one second later, the Overlord was walking towards Lloyd). They still skip some episodes (not sure if that happened with Ninjago there, but it's currently happening to Monkie Kid). I recently watched some Ninjago on MBC3 (in Arabic obv because I was bored and they were there, so yk?), and I think they're doing a better job than CN Arabic.

Anywayyy, I should probably go back to sleep; I woke up for su7oor, and I ended up typing my whole life story... sorry

ah it’s okay to be a bit mean to such things

i get what u mean abt the jokes thing needing to sound properly but the fact that ur even MENTIONING e3raab to me should be illegal. i already graduated i should not be subjected to thinking about e3raab anymore 😭😭

mbc3 and CNa had unusual rerun times and it was always a mess trying to figure out when the rerun of an episode of a show would air and would require watching the channel for so long (oh the days of me trying to find out when son//ic x reruns were on mbc3 bc they used to show the new episodes when i couldn’t watch tv (i still remember that it’s reruns were at 3 am 😭)) so some of tkose repeating episodes could’ve been the reruns.

even on netflix when i was looking thru the arabic dub for double trouble they just cut the whole scene between nya n bizarro jay which i thought was weird of netflix but i guess that’s just because these episodes were the ones that were shown on TV. but i remember seeing a video on youtube abt the cut off lmk really weird and random scenes off?? i get the whole thing abt the arab world and not showing kids any sort of pda but they used to sometimes allow non-pda but still implied things thru? the cut offs r more lenient these days but they’re still extremely weird and very obvious. i remember spacetoon used to rewrite scenes and edit the scenes so heavily just to not let any romance plot thru, it usually just made them funnier but kids wouldn’t notice much of a difference

[daedalusdavinci]

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

How many words have you written this year?

ive published roughly 40k this year and thats it :thumbsup:

ive finished about 87k worth of stories about ocs that i didnt publish, and my current wip docs are 40k and 20k (also about ocs, also wont be published). i have absolutely no idea how much i scrapped, but its probably a lot

2. How many works did you publish this year?

two whole fics :')

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

i kind of hate them both and think theyre cringe, but ig follow him home? it was fun to write and eri liked it, which is basically how i measure whether or not my eridve fics r good.

of the shit that i didnt post, i wrote a little bit about my ocs and their commitment issues that i still think was kind of swag of me. i have shown it to absolutely no one, and know no one willing to read it if i did. hit me up, i guess

3. What work of yours has the most hits?

crow strider-lalonde-leijon is currently reigning w/ abt 100 more than the other. of all time, home intrusion continues to dominate. shoutout to batfam fans, you guys scare the shit out of me.

4. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

the crow fic got a better reception than i thought it would! i think some people reading it were really confused, but there were some people who really enjoyed it, which surprised me. i was expecting it to wind up more like the eridve fic, which has exactly one comment, from eri.

5. Favorite title you used

it has to be follow him home bc i hate the crow fic title. shoutout to my unpublished titles tho, "Silver's Thief" and "if joker could beatbox" theyre real winners. silvers thief is a sequel to "Mariana's Beast" nd i have no explanation or justification for the second one it doesnt even have anything to do w the fic

6. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

xoxoxo im different ive grown (i havent posted enough to)

7. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

literally my ocs. shoutout to my ocs, who occupy 90% of my gray matter rn for some reason.

8. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

see above im not well

9. What work was the quickest to write?

i wrote if joker could beatbox in like two hours. between the two i published, its actually the 30k one, because follow him home took me like two years to finish and i only finished it by grace of eris encouragement

10. What work took you the longest to write?

follow him home

11. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

that you will see? none. for my eyes alone? they multiply w every passing second babey i dont know WHAT im doing but im not finishing SHIT rn

12. What’s your longest work of the year?

crow fic is about 30k. my unpublished oc fic marianas beast was 55k and i hate it so bad i could throw up its truly not structured well

13. What’s your shortest work of the year?

follow him home is about 8k. my unpublished oc fic if joker could beat box is probably close to 1k.

14. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

this completely and totally nonsense draft of silver's thief. i got bored w the original plot bc i hated the thing it was based on and decided to skip ahead and just start doing shit regardless of if it made any sense and thats where were at now. i am vaguely considering revisiting some of my old jdau drafts i never finished bc of a few kind comments i received recently that motivated me to give it another look, but we will see. (maybe if i receive MORE COMMENTSWINKWINKNUDGENUDGE /j)

15. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

fucking nothing this year my additional tags re mostly just me running my mouth

16. Your favorite character to write this year?

shoutout to eridan you are unhinged and truly a delight. also shoutout to psii in that fucking draft i DELETED rip youll never see my genius (UNLESS.........)

i like writing my ocs also. clearly. clarifying which would be pointless but i do have a favorite to write this year.

17. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

davesprite. now whyd i do that to myself. there was a thin line between what i was doing and an oc and im not sure i didnt cross it that au was maybe too much

18. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

hey guys what if i went back to jason/nico what if i said fuck everything and went all the way back

just kidding im goign to write bro/psii and youre all going to hate it

19. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

my ass has reread retirement so many times i should get my head checked about it. i didnt write it this year and i dont think its like. structured well. but man if i didnt just write all the fun stuff and nothing else i love old man yaoi

20. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

t. thirty. what did i do wrong....

21. Which work has the most comments?

crow fic has 44 comments, half of which are probably me saying thank you. all time, its a match made for heaven, w 108. when that fic popped off it REALLY popped off, i dont think ANY of those comments are new. idek the last time i got a comment on that one.

22. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

no lol i barely even wrote :p

23. Did you write any gifts this year?

for eri, as usual <3

24. Did you receive any gifts this year?

from @reginalusus! this fanart of a scene from safety. their jason n harvey art in general is 50% of whats making me eye my wips again, its always so inspiring

25. What’s your most common category?

its a perfect sexy little tie between gen and m/m. ah, writing only two fics

26. What do you listen to while writing?

im in my hozier era i fucking guess. unspeakable amount of hozier. however lately its been foo fighters.

27. Favorite work you wrote this year?

that oc fic i mentioned earlier. 10/10. sad it will die w me

28. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

"You do love museums, which is frustrating, because you would very much like to just hate endlessly on Texas for no reason other than you’re hot and angry and it’s not California."

both from follow him home. i also enjoy the last scene in that fic and how i wrote dave telling eridan about his childhood. this fic has some good lines, it must be said.

29. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

TWO FICS? two. only two??????? TWO?????? grad school is killing me i need to get OUT OF HERE

[appl3l0v3r4lif3]

Tw vent

Am I really sick enough???? I think I am but idrk, I feel like absolute shit nearly all the time and I hate my parents but I love them and I feel so bad when I get mad at them because they haven't done a single thing to warrant my rage I just haven't got anywhere else to put it.

This also ties into my rage to my friends, I hate it, there's one girl I don't hate, but I think I just might be in love with her, I'm not sure, but I get angry at mt friends for them being happy and themselves,i don't let them know but I hate them, I hate them so much and I hope they leave me so I can be stress free

I also hate all my classes, and I'll give a list why

English: the topics are boring and I cannot understand how they'll benefit me

Maths: my teachers misogynistic and I can't wrap my head around my fucking times tables let along π or some shit

Music: the teachers annoying and I can't get the hang of any instrument no matter how hard I try

Tech: my teachers a pedophile (sent nudes to minors) and it's boring and reminds me of how shit I am at art

Art: I hate it because I used to love art,I was so happy and joyful and I wanted to be an artist but now I realised I'm horrible at it and quit so all it does is remind me how the only thing I even like I can't do

Spanish: I can't understand it and my teacher screams and screams and screams and is really scary

Pe: I hate the changing rooms because it's the reason I have to overheat twice a week so no one sees my sh scars and also I just hate sports and I'm pretty sure I annoy the few people that hang out with me

Computing: I'm surrounded by people who hate me while my teacher nags is about not copy and pasting information and i hate it

Science: the teacher is annoying and I can't understand it because it's math based

Re: I'm not religious and if anyone I'm not friends with in my school finds out I'll be more ostricised than I already am bc I go to a mainly Muslim catholic school plus it's boring and useless

Pshe: it's just uncomfortable because it's always either talking about our futures (my plan is to kms) our skills (I have none) or sex

Drama: it's just not fun to have to group up with random people and awkwardly perform Infront of your whole class

History: my teacher is so so annoying and I hate the amount of writing I have to do for this and it's just boring and I hate it and it makes me think about how fucked up society has been since the dawn of time and how it's destined to forever be hateful and disgusting because it's in our fucking nature as humans to be the worst most monstrous things possible it links into my hate for re because re also makes me think too hard and realise how we know pretty much nothing in relation to the universe, but what do I know, Im just a suicidal 13 year old girl