#ray ray speaks

[rayraystudies]

So obviously I haven’t posted since April - I’ve been struggling with a lot of anxiety for the past couple of months and honestly posting has been very difficult for me. Long story short, grad school is HARD. And attempting to maintain any semblance of a posting schedule when I’m this busy and tired can just be too much.

I’m going to take a couple months (until July) as a bit of a break from posting. I might actually take a bit of a break from bullet journaling because it’s actually felt more like a chore this year than ever before. And maybe I just need to go back to the roots of organization and simplicity. Also I think I just hate drawing birds??? I have no motivation 😂

So everyone take care! You may still see me post on a story random things I’ve baked or made so keep an eye out if you enjoy seeing an excessive amount of bagels 🥰

…tldr; I’m on hiatus until July/01/2024 🥰

[chrismcshell]

northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

[rockettequeen]

⊹₊⊹₊ girlhood grunge ⊹₊⊹₊

₊⊹hold you close like we both died,

my ever present suicide ⊹₊

[cigarettefawn]

there is beauty in sadness.

[fioreose]

[way2gosuperrstarr]

some lil sun doodles! and a moon snuck in there too, it seems!

full canvas (not cropped into little pieces) under cut <3

[gjdraws]

Dief is v much the elder sibling and the only person who gets to bully Fraser and judge him

[dollyiia]

“fertilize us!!” my eggs scream in unison

[ilanarose7]

I was rewatching some old 4-Sided Dives this morning bc I'm still in a weird mood since Thursday night. I'm watching episode 8 and -

Then a little bit later:

CURSE YOU 4SD FOR SPEAKING IT INTO EXISTENCE!!!!

[holisticfansstuff]

Rest in power, Andre Braugher (x)

[rayraystudies]

@silencebearer replied to your post “Someone who is good with marker blending….help?? ✍...”:

I don't know how good I am (this Robin is very cute btw), but my tip would be: begin with the lightest colour, be quick and don't be afraid to draw with bold lines when you colour, you will be able to add details later on. Volume first, details second

​Ah thank you for the advice! I'm generally very nervous with markers because I can't blend them as easily as pencils so that's good to know!

[sparring-spirals]

Still emotional about Fy'ra Rai and Opal, actually. Thought dump time bc i. dont have the energy to cut this down effectively.

Because at that point in the episode, Opal is doomed. Not in the fun little "oh things are getting worse ;)" kind of way we'd been experiencing leading up to the fight, or even IN the fight. At that point in the fight, Cyrus is dead. Dorian and Dariax have their minds twisted, bodies clambering away from the fight. Morrighan has felt, firsthand, just how far gone Opal is, holes in her mind, her friend broken. The heartbreaking sentence of. "You can always come back." understands that she is gone already. She's lost already. Opal has forgotten Ted. Opal has forgotten herself.

So at that point in the fight, we know Opal is doomed. Us as the audience, the cast, the characters. Aabria is running through each of the other crownkeepers and it is more of a goodbye than a round of combat. Defying the Spider Queen invites death, with zero hesitation- Cyrus's body as physical evidence of that. The terms were very clearly set: You leave Opal, you let her be lost. Or you die. (Leaving Opal anyway).

and Fy'ra Rai then. Grasps the crown, understands intimately that she can break it off and it will kill Opal. (I will free you, if you want me to. We would lose you but you would not be taken). And asks, what do you want me to do. What do you want.

and Opal says, I want you to leave. (I want you to live.) and Fy'ra Rai functionally says. No. Sorry. That's not one of the options.

If you wanted to go. I will do that (your blood on my hands). If you want me to stay, I will. But I'm not going to leave you.

There was the point where Fy'ra Rai broke into the communication and I felt my insides sink because. Look. Lets be real, Aabria had already demonstrated the stakes here. The gesture would not be rewarded for the gesture alone. The Spider Queen's terms were: You leave Opal. Or you die.

And Fy'ra Rai said: no.

I don't think I'm overstepping to assume that if Fy'ra Rai had failed the intimidation check, she would have died. This entire thing hits me so hard because I think Anjali knew that too. I think Fy'ra Rai knew that too. Yes, Fy'ra Rai convinced a Betrayer God to negotiate. She carved a third option out of a non-negotiable situation. She knew what would happen if she failed and did it anyway, with no fear, no regret, no waver in her resolve. She had lost enough sisters. She wasn't going to lose anymore, no matter the personal cost. That's part of why it succeeded, I'm sure, but.

Just. Fuck me. The amount of resolve. The amount of love. The amount of conviction. "I am. A protector." You know your friend- your sister- is doomed. So no more negotiating away from that. You step to her side and you grasp her hand and say- doom me with her.

And in some, sideways way, this saves you both, at least for a little while.

Because this story is a tragedy. This ending is a sad one. We know this already. But think about- Opal, under Lolth's bidding, alone in the dark. Think about Fy'ra Rai, alive, intimately aware that she had failed to protect yet another sister.

And think about what we got, instead: the two of them, in deep darkness, danger encroaching- holding hands. Someone they love at their side. A champion. And her champion.

This is still a sad story. But it's not the same one. Fy'ra Rai stared down a Betrayer God and made her change her mind. She stared down a Betrayer God, and her love and conviction changed the nature of the story. It shouldn't have been able to. But she did.

Fy'ra Rai chose to doom 2 people instead of one, and the sheer strength of her love and will managed to save them both, at least for a little while. Isn't it funny how that works? Isn't it devastating? Isn't it. fucking incredible?

[cemeterygrace]

every day i feel october 19th creeping towards us

[rockettequeen]

oh dear diary, i met a boy

he made my doll heart light up with joy

oh dear diary, we fell apart

welcome to the life of electraheart ~

[shadowgasp]

my tlovm s2 theater viewing in a nutshell

[gentlebeard]

If I could hold you for a minute, Darling, I’d go through it again

For @edsbacktattoo & @stedesearring 💕 Show: Our Flag Means Death - Season 1 & 2 Music: Francesca by Hozier YouTube