#ray drabbles

[wife-of-all-dilfs]

have to touch myself to pretend you're there.

[yuwuta]

peds surgeon yuuta??? u cant say things like that i need to jump. the cartoons, the glasses, of course his freaky ass would have a thing for u calling him doctor okkotsu i need to die id wanna tease him sm and be all over him but i cant think of anything if its in a hospital how did the greys anatomy ppl made it work?

the grey’s doctors were FREAKS LMFAOO bc there is not space to be doing all that in the on call rooms…. honestly yuuta is probably too busy to even try anything with you in the hospital 90% of the time… he’s either in surgery or buried in the research library or falling asleep standing up 😭 sometimes you two pass each other in an empty stairwell and have time for a kiss or two, but never more than that (also because yuuta has very little self-restraint when it comes to you… if he allowed himself more than that, then it would be much harder to stop…) 

sometimes the two of you will fall asleep in the same on call room. yuuta will page you there and by the time you arrive he’s already half asleep, it’s probably his only nap in the last 24 hours, so you do your best not to wake wake him when you cuddle up next to him. you get a few hours of bliss in his arms before his pager is waking the both of you up, and he’s got to scurry downstairs to the peds floor and in his hurry he doesn’t realize he’s snagged your lab coat instead of his own, and it’s only when he’s haphazardly slipped it on and the arms are too short and the shoulders are too tight that he figures it out. it’s too late by then, because gojo is the attending on this case which means he doesn’t miss anything, which means he’s the first to giggle and tease, poking at your name embroidered above the breast pocket, “oh? i didn’t know the two of you got married already! oh and you took her last name, how noble, yuuta!~” 

[graphx]

THEIR PARALLELS MAKE ME SO ILL

Both of them feeling helpless due to leg injuries

Both of them lying to the people they trust and love the most for the greater good

BOTH OF THEM GOING UP AGAINST LEUVIS WITH AN AXE AND NO HESITATION!!

HELPING HIM ACROSS THE POND AND HOLDING HIS CANE WHILE HE GETS DOWN THE LADDER???!!! They are so wholesome!!!

This moment is also very funny to me since Ray is never directly told Yuugo’s name I imagine during the two week walk back to the bunker Lucas accidentally slips and tells Ray (and apologizes cuz he assumed he wanted to be told like Emma) and Ray is just like

no

give me more blackmail against him

which i assume this scene came from Ray snitching

I know Ray and Yuugo parallels are more obvious but I would have loved for Lucas’s relationships with Emma and Ray to be expanded on as well since I don’t see it as much!

[heymrspatel]

(kid cudi voice) now look at this

AH-!

i am having such a strong reaction to this!! like that's the same lil guy! that's our guy! and i love him so damn much and he's my favorite silly billy and he's sweet and kind and loving and dopey and beautiful and strong and brave and courageous and the biggest brightest shining light!!!

that's our guy! and he was so so little and then he was not and he's still wearing the same clothes and i bet this was a hand-me-down to begin with and i bet it's so soft and comforting now. and he still latches on to it.

and the time passes. and he keeps going back to this shirt.

he grew up in it, he fell in love in it, his heart got broken in it, he met the love of his life at the docks in it. the cycle repeating itself and he still had this shirt. until things quieted down. he got married. they moved out. he settled into his life and his body and his threadbare beige shirt with the little buttons.

and now mickey wears it. he sticks his little hands out. sleeve paws for ian to giggle over. he's endeared by it.

his shirt that stuck around.

[hiskillingjar]

Yoo what if Lawrence x mc with a knife kink and they be fuckin... like lawrence learns of the knife kink

i'm in the mood to write some stuff for law. be prepared for that!

1200+ words, cw for self harm mentions, same MC as this fic

"It was my grandad's in Vietnam,"

It was late in the musky apartment, and you were a little high (as you so often were) when you pulled the pocket knife from your messenger bag, unfolding it and holding it out for Law to look at.

The blade was probably shiny once, but it had been spotted with brown rust since you'd been given it, and its hollow, wooden handle was on the verge of splintering (wrapped up with white, packing tape) and black with mould, showing its age, what it had seen, the life it had lived before it was put in your hands.

“Cool, right?” You then asked, holding the dirty blade against your palm.

Law lowered the joint from their lips, sleepy (dead) grey eyes blinking as they sat up and stared at the knife.

You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling proudly at their somewhat impressed expression.

"I always carry it when I'm out," You explained nonchalantly, taking the burning joint as you passed them the knife, raising it to your lips for a slow drag, heat burning in your lungs as you quickly breathed out. You still weren’t very good at smoking weed, but you were getting better at it. "But I have more at my apartment, vintage ones, new ones. I collect them."

"You collect them?" They repeated, looking up at you with a raised brow. "That's probably-"

"Probably a little concerning, right?" You asked with a little titter, leaning back on the bed, spreading your legs lazily, your skirt hiking higher up your thighs, exposing dashed white scars under your fishnets. "Come on, don't play therapist with me, Law. It doesn't suit you."

"I was actually going to say it's probably a little stereotypical," They replied, a slight and uncharacteristic smirk on their lips. "You’re a trans girl obsessed with knives...that's kind of obvious, even for you, isn't it?"

You barked out a laugh, sitting up quickly (not closing your legs).

"Look at herrr though," You drawled through your giggles, pitching your voice up to the catty drawl you and your girlfriends sometimes spoke to each other in, taking the knife back when they held it out to you. "Clocking me for my phallic fixations. I didn’t know you had jokes, Law.” You grinned. “You're gonna have a field day when you show you my gun, aren't you?"

"You…really have a gun?" They asked after a moment, lowering their voice as they took the joint back for another drag. “Isn’t that illegal?”

They had the priorities sorted, it seemed.

"I mean, just one," You said with a shake of your head, watching as they breathed out a thick mouthful of smoke. "And it's, like...plugged up with so much junk that it doesn't work. It’s probably as legal as your joint," You gestured towards it and huffed out another little titter, feeling oddly defensive. “Like, I’m not gonna go flashing it to the cops, but I don’t think they’re gonna bust down my door for it.”

They nodded their head slowly, taking another drag of the joint.

You knew that they weren’t calling you out. They didn’t care about you owning weapons, just like you didn’t care about the dead animals they had rotting in barrels in the forest.

They were both parts of you that you didn’t make public to polite society but kept to yourselves and, occasionally, each other.

You knew how meaningful that was. And how important it was for you to have someone you could be authentic with.

You wondered…

"Sometimes…” You stared with a little sigh, slowly lowering the blade of the knife to your thigh, running it along one of your dashed, white scars. “I cut myself and I swear …I can feel the pain of everyone it's ever hurt inside of me. Like a pulsing heat."

You cut through one of the segments of your fishnets, exposing flesh and showing off your scars.

Law’s eyes glanced up lazily, just enough to make you feel desirable.

"You think it's hurt other people?" Law asked softly, lowering the burned-out joint to the ashtray at their bedside.

Figures, they wouldn't care about you hurting yourself, or give a second glance to your self-harm scars. 

That's what you liked about them though. They didn't ask questions.

"It's a product of war," You said like it was obvious, pressing a little more pressure against the knife, making the skin underneath it turn white. "Of course, it's hurt people…that’s, like, all it was made to do."

"Mm, that was lifetimes ago, though," They drawled, leaning forward and running a hand (big, made you feel small, made you feel delicate) over your knee, not stopping you as the rusty blade started to split your skin. They never did stop you, though. "You've kind of taken it and...made it your own, you know? It's kind of like you, in that way."

"Mm?"

"You...existed as one thing," They explained, reaching out for the knife with long, bony figures and waiting for you to give it to them, which you did readily, obediently. "And now you exist as something else. Just like this knife was once a product of war, and now it's a...tool for your pleasure, mm?"

"Pleasure," You repeated with a huffed laugh, trembling with pain as they pressed the blade against the bleeding cut, teasing the skin open more, making the wound that much harder to heal. "That's a funny way of putting it, Law."

"You're hard," They said, a little bluntly, using the blade of the knife to flick up your skirt (the gesture made your cheeks flush and your knees tighten together), showing your cock pressing tight against the bars of your chastity cage. It was less of a symbol of your submission to them (the two of you were above such binary concepts, after all) as it was a symbol of your devotion, your promise to remain faithful, your promise to not do anything they didn’t agree to. "Or, harder than you usually are. You must be enjoying something about this…"

"Okay," You huffed again, hissing as they dragged another shallow cut into your thigh, severing more segments of your tights. "Let me hold onto one phallic symbol, can you? If I’m now allowed the other…"

"Sure," They replied, taking your sarcastic retort seriously (they weren’t good at picking up on sarcasm) as they continued to stroke your scar-patterned skin with the blade. “Whatever you want…”

You breathed out unsteadily as their other hand reached up your thigh, their thumb tracing over the twin cuts tenderly, smearing blood and tracing the lines of muscle that they had inadvertently exposed.

“You have a good pain tolerance,” They observed as they dragged a third cut into your skin, their gaze going up to your face to watch you as you bit your lip, a bead of sweat running down your cheek as you tried, with all your might, to not flinch or whimper.

“Thanks,” You murmured with a sardonic smile, leaning back on the bed as they kept rubbing at your cuts. “Hh…I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should,” They replied with a smile, gentle and eerie and unnervingly sweet.

“I meant it as one.”

[shu-porang-porang]

He’s my religion

[slashingdisneypasta]

Chucky Lee Ray x Reader || Drabble

Plot: When you come home from a really terrible date who definitely expects to be invited in, you do something Kinda Sneaky... and say you live with your brother and, oops! You forgot your key!!- and knock on the apartment next to yours, acting like this one is yours. Chucky's apartment.

Warnings: N/A.

Knock knock. No answer.

Knock knock knock. No answer.

Humming nervously, because why the hell why isn't he answering?? Please be home, Chucky, p l e a s e- "He must have his headphones on, the dumbass." You throw back to your date, Hank, rolling your eyes like 'brothers, huh?'.

"Hey, if you cant get it, you can always come back to my place?"

"Oh thats nice of you- " Knockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknock-

"Bro!" You exclaim in a loud, totally-fake greeting as soon as the door flies open and reveals Charles Lee Ray, looking as if you just woke him up, his hair in his dark eyes and a beer-stained, moth-eaten white t-shirt on that completely washes him out and makes him look like Samara Morgan (Sweet jesus, if you weren't so desperate to get away from Hank, you would be terrified of this nightmare look). His face twists into grumpy, tired confusion but before he can ask you what the hell you're talking about- you slip your arms around his waist and squeeze him in a hug. "Play along." Dear god, play along.

When you pull back, a hostage-smile pasted to your face standing there with Hank behind you looking bored and annoyed (And wearing a stained t-shirt of his own- under a date blazer), the cranky frown on his face upturns into a smirk. Oh~

You hope to god thats a good smirk and your annoying neighbour is not about to screw you.

Its not like Hank is dangerous, or t h r e a t e n i n g, at all- no. He's fine. But after 4 hours of talking about his fucking car, and The Big Bang Theory (How funny Howard Walowitz is in the first seasons and how misunderstood he is with women- jesus), and meeting his mother at the start-- you are DONE!!

DONE!! FINISHED!

You're up to hear with him and Chucky, as annoying and rude as he is, suddenly feels like a great alternative! At least if you went out with him tonight, you might've gotten a good buzz out of it. Hank took you to a Chuck E Cheese, and he didn't bring a flask.

When Chucky leans against the door and makes room for you to slip by, smirking dangerously at your date, you happily go into his apartment. You never wanted to get in there so bad, before. You never wanted to go in there, period, before today. But now it feels like sanctuary. "So... you're the guy that took out Y/N tonight."

Oh no- he's still talking. Why on earth is Chucky still talking-

"-Yeah thats him!" You cut in, before flashing Hank a bright smile and a waive. "I had a great time- bye Hank!" Please go. Please go. Please go now-

Before your date can leave and you can never see him again, Chucky stops him- and when you glance at his face, you can see an even broader, more mischievous smirk on him. Oh no. "Hold on there, man, wait. I gotta make sure you're alright, don't I??"

"No, bro, you don't." You say pointedly, making Chucky turn that nefarious, lascivious grin onto you for a moment.

"Hehe... I think I do."

Through grit teeth, you beseech him. "Fight the urge." Or, well- beg him. You're begging. You're absolutely begging.

Because wherever Chucky is going to take this, is not going to be good, especially with that evil twinkle in his pale blue eyes. "What kinda brother would I be if I didn't check him?"

"The best brother in the world."

"Ahhhhh... you're just sayin' that. Hey Hank- " When you both turn back to the hallway and see that Hank is, actually, gone-- you're equally baffled and relieved. Thank god, but... when did he leave??? Chucky, on the other hand, pouts. "Damn. ... Maybe he wasn't that into you."

While rolling your eyes, you catch sight of a black object plainly sticking out of Chucky's pyjama pants. "Or maybe he saw the gun tucked into your pants! Is that loaded!??"

"... no."

"No!??" That did not sound definitive!!

"Well yeah, of course it is. But here's the thing, doll. Guess what?" You're about to ask a put-out and huffy 'what?', when Chucky pulls the door to his apartment abruptly closed; standing far too close to you and looking at you in that lecherous Chucky-way that makes you feel so small and squirrelly. Wait- "Look at that?~ You're all mine, all of a sudden~ Hehe,"

As you stand there, half scared/half... something else, you wonder dumbly how and when did you lose control of this situation-

[marshmallowprotection]

i gotta request a fiction about giving ray a hug on day 4. our boy deserves all of the hugs and that analysis was heartbreaking 💔😭

Ray was trembling like a leaf caught in the summer breeze, and all you wanted to do was embrace him. Yet, you didn't want to crowd him or touch him without his express consent. V cornered him, and the very sight of that man standing a mere few feet away from you had set him off. You weren't sure what to believe about the RFA and their validity, of the truths and lies you'd been told, but seeing how Ray reacted told you all you needed to know for now.

Something in this place was a lie, but Ray's fear wasn't a lie.

He was genuinely terrified of V.

"Ray," you gentle voice tried to reach out to him as you sat in front of him. "Ray, can you hear me?"

His face was buried in his hands as he sobbed. The sounds of harsh wheezing and coughing followed. Even if he could hear you, whatever seeing V had done to him wasn't going to go away anytime soon. He tried to puff out his chest and protect you, but the longer V stood in front of you, the harder it was for him to remain strong. Whatever V had done to him... whatever pain he experienced... it had to be one of the worst moments of his life if his response rendered him unable to see the forest through the trees.

What happened?

You tried again, "Ray?"

His sobbing hadn't died down, but he peaked at you through his fingers and instantly looked away when you saw how red and puffy his eyes had become. He'd already looked exhausted when you first saw him earlier in the night, but now it was written all over his face... had he even slept before meeting up with you? Had he stopped to close his eyes?

You knew he had a headache the night before and popped a few caffeine pills to help the pain, but that probably meant he stayed awake instead of resting.

No wonder this was so hard on him. His body wasn't taken care of the way it needed to be, and that must've made this emotional backlash even harder on him. Seeing V set him off, but he couldn't do anything to protect either of you because of his exhaustion, and whatever the harsh memories did to him. It wasn't his fault. You didn't blame him for not being able to protect the two of you. V should've backed off when you warned him to stop.

Why didn't he stop when he causing obvious duress?

Why?

"Ray, honey, it's okay, I'm not upset," you coaxed him. You weren't sure how else to reach him but you knew he wouldn't get any better by crying himself to sleep. "We're safe now, he's long gone and the guards are going to capture him before he gets away so you don't have to be afraid of him hurting you or me ever again. You did your best to protect us. Thank you."

He whimpered. The sound broke your heart but what could you do to help him? He didn't have the energy to explain. He promised you that he would explain everything later, once you were safe, just before he showed up and frightened Ray to the core. You knew you would talk to you about it when he was ready, but... this was different. You just wanted to know how to help.

"Can I hold you?"

Shame bled across his features.

"I want to, Ray. I really want to hold you so you can feel safe again—so, I can feel safe again," you insisted. You knew he would be more likely to listen to your request if you told him it would help you. "Please?"

Ray didn't run away. He made a noise that sounded like confirmation, so you decided to press your luck and embrace him. If he jolted out of your hug or pushed you away, you knew you wouldn't pressure him to do more than that. He didn't push you away, and though it took a very painful moment of sobbing before he moved, you held him gently, so very gently, as to show him that you would never keep him locked up. His sobs became louder but his arms wormed their way around your middle after you gave him that peace.

His face was buried against your chest, desperate for the sound of your heartbeat, as you pressed your lips against the top of his head, whispering sweet nothings to your precious Ray.

Even if this place wasn't what it seemed, you knew whatever had frightened Ray was real and he needed you to be there for him as it seemed like nobody else could be.

[geoxstxrs]

crack theory that Ray also works for the administration, and him and Jay have bonding time even though jay doesn’t know who he is

[whumpshots]

Whump ABC #24

Based on the results of this poll.

_

Whumpee rubs their eyes when they lie down again, caretaker telling them again and again that they need to rest. Compared to other things, whumpee just feels tired, but if caretaker is so insistent, they'll just listen to them.

When the other returns from the talk with the doctor, they are weirdly quiet. Whumpee cracks one eye open and sees caretaker look at them with ... something weird in their eyes. Something they can't quite identify yet.

"Hm?", whumpee grunts and manages to open the other eye, dizziness making it a little hard to see.

"I just saw your x-rays," they begin and swallow. Whumpee furrows their brows questioningly and waits for caretaker to continue. "Nothing broken, but you need to rest more," they finally say and chew on their bottom-lip.

"What else?" Whumpee feels annoyed by how weird caretaker acts and sighs.

"Your x-ray also showed something else. Something ... older." Their eyes meet for a second and whumpee softly snorts before looking up at the ceiling.

"Oh ... That was years ago, don't worry about it too much," they dismiss and start chewing on their own bottom-lip before they feel caretaker's hand on theirs. Years ago means that whumpee was a child, teenager at most when all this happened. But they have buried those memories.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

📖 🥺 🩹🍭? Oooor 🙏🏻🍭

45 Minute Friends - Lester Billings/Reader

Warnings: Gender neutral reader, no use of Y/N, nothing else this time other than those sad eyes QwQ

Wordcount: 5391

Summary: When your meetcute turns into a surprising but nice friendship with the handsome man at the grocery store you frequent, you find yourself not ever wanting to know what he looks like without the smile that drew you in in the first place.

Notes: Even though he was in the list, I was still so surprised when I got this one! Did not expect any Lester but I'm so glad I got him because once again I have rebuilt a man from scratch to make him my own hehe so I hope you guys like this one~ 💗💗💗 (And if there's any demand for a sequel, wellllll... 😏)

Every Thursday like clockwork he was there, getting groceries between the minutes of 5:15 and 6PM. The first couple times you'd bumped into him had been random, just you rushing to the store for something for dinner or grabbing something you were low on last minute - usually you preferred getting in during the early hours of the morning when the place was empty - but after the third Thursday of noticing him grabbing a bunch of sugary breakfast cereals and a big tub of ice cream to pile along with the more adult things in his cart, your curiosity was too strong to resist wondering if you could see him again. He wore suits, a working man, and he took his health seriously despite the treats, although once in a while he did tend to hang out a little too long amongst the dessert counter where all the cakes were on display.

He was tall, very handsome, and there was something so comfortable about him you decided as he grabbed a box off the shelf and flipped it over to read the nutritional values. You sucked in a deep, encouraging breath before pushing your cart down the aisle, pretending to be interested in the many different brands of pasta before stopping and staring at the one on the top shelf where he was standing. ‘Excuse me,’ you asked politely, pretending like you hadn't just found the perfect excuse to finally talk to him, ‘could you please pass me that box? If it's not too much trouble.’

His height came very much in handy as he easily grabbed it and handed it over, and you flushed before you noticed the ring on his left hand as it held the box; ah, he was married, so much for your meetcute. ‘Big dinner coming up?’ he asked casually when he saw your cart, which was packed enough to last you the rest of the month since you knew you'd be too busy to visit weekly for a while, and you just shook your head with a nervous laugh.

‘Oh, no, just that time of the year again, gunna be swamped from dawn til dusk for a while,’ you told him as you tossed the pasta in, even if it was something you'd never eat normally you were still going to buy it after this. ‘How about you? I take it your kid has a sweet tooth?’

He laughed back, and even though it couldn't be your dream meetcute you still felt a blush dust over your cheeks. ‘All three of them, actually, don't tell my wife but I think they got it from me.’

So that explained him staring at the cakes. ‘Don't worry I won't,’ you promised, your hand over your heart, and he looked back to the box in his hand before going for it and offering you a handshake.

‘Lester, Lester Billings,’ he introduced himself as you shook, your name falling from your mouth rather ungracefully when you saw how his hand enveloped your own. ‘I think I've seen you around here before, do you live nearby?’

‘20 minutes out of town, but I like the prices here, so it's worth the drive,’ you admitted easily even though your crush was still technically a stranger, but he just whistled at the long drive and moved onto the sauces.

‘I'm in town, but if I don't go right after work I'd never get the chance,’ he confided right back while picking up a jar. ‘Have you tried this brand before? Rita, my wife, introduced me to it last year and we haven't gone back.’ He handed you the jar before grabbing his own before you could answer, and you hadn't even heard of it before as you just shrugged and took his word for it, it also joining your increasingly expensive haul. His phone went off then, and he pulled it out and let out a quiet kid-safe curse before typing a reply back. ‘Sorry, forgot the party started at 5:30, thought I still had an hour, it was nice meeting you!’ he said as he headed off for the register, his food toppling over with several crashes in his hurry, and you couldn't help but grin as you grabbed your favourite pasta as well as a second bottle of sauce before continuing on your own list.

You really weren't able to go back again until work had died down, your cupboards getting bare from all the late nights of having just enough energy to cook, eat, and pass out until your alarm. Now that you knew he lived in town you couldn't help but look for him as you drove to work, but you put an end to that pretty fast after you swear you saw him in casual clothes and nearly ran a red light. You spent that time instead getting your crush under control, your mother didn't raise a homewrecker that was for sure, but when you finally were able to return and you spotted him checking out the watermelons you couldn't help but wave when he glanced up. He smiled wide at you and pointed at the one in his hand, it was huge and he was over the moon about the find, and you couldn't stop the smile and blush that followed as you rolled over to him without a second thought.

‘Free from work?’ he asked as he finished his checks, and you realized it'd been a while since you indulged and started the hunt for your own.

‘Finally, it's been a nightmare,’ you breathed exaggeratedly, which earned you another laugh.

‘It’s been the same for me, Thursday is the only night I get to come home on time just for this.’ He settled on a melon and was about to put it in his cart when he quickly stopped you from picking up your own. ‘Whoa, that guy's not ripe yet, here, my wife sent me this after last time,’ he said as he swapped out the melon for his phone, and he swiped through a bunch of photos before pulling up a visual guide on how to choose. He pointed at the one you were about to grab on his screen before taking your hand and finding a better one, the shiver running up your arm hopefully not giving you away. ‘This one should be better, it'll last you longer too if you aren't eating it all tonight.’

‘By myself? Hell no!’ you blurted out before you could think of something more suitable to say, but the resulting laugh was so loud and full of life that you couldn't help but giggle along with him as he supported himself on your shoulder. 

‘Sorry, I don't mean to offend,’ he chuckled as he picked up his suggested fruit, placing it in your cart for you without you even asking, ‘forgive me for assuming you were unavailable.’

‘No no, it's fine,’ you quickly said before you could say the same to him, he didn't need to know about your crush, ‘thanks for the recommendation, it's been years since I took the time to actually get one of these and not just the packaged slices.’

‘Every time they're in season we get one, my kids could eat most of one on their own, I swear.’ He considered getting a second before deciding against it, they could space it out you figured, and he started to head for the next thing before turning back to you. ‘You coming? It's been a while since I had some company on one of these, makes it less boring,’ he offered as he waited, and your heart skipped a beat as you hurried to catch up to him.

You talked about random things as you shopped, him mostly about his kids and how much his youngest looked like his mother, you about whatever you could think of so it wouldn't be so one-sided. You learned that he and his wife were highschool sweethearts, started dating then and got married when they were both in their early 20s, and that it'd taken them a while but finally their firstborn had been gifted to them by the time they were almost in their 30s. As such he spoiled his kids rotten, loved them all immensely, and he revealed to you that he planned on taking them to Disneyland once summer vacation finally came. You could tell he was excited about it, maybe even more than his kids were going to be, and your crush turned to something more as you finally reached the dessert counter.

He didn't linger since you were with him, so you sneakily stopped to check out the cheesecakes. ‘Oh, they have Caramel Pecan! I might have to grab a slice after that nightmare of a month,’ you wondered aloud, and you saw the way his eyes shone as he stopped and joined you.

‘My kids do love chocolate…’ he trailed off as he examined the flavours, all of them enticing him, and you smiled as you waved over the worker.

‘Excuse me, could I get a slice of this one?’ you asked as you pointed to your choice, Lester still deciding on his own with childlike wonder that made you suspicious it wasn't just his kids who liked chocolate.

‘I'm sorry, only the full sized cakes come in that flavour, the slices can be found over here if you'd like to try another one?’ she apologized, and you couldn't fight the frown as you glanced at the slices but didn't see any you wanted. 

‘I'll take the Caramel Pecan and the Chocolate Fudge Supreme,’ he then said as soon as you went to tell her it was fine, and you looked up at him as he gave you the warmest smile you'd ever seen in your life. ‘We're having another party this weekend, maybe you can join us, have a slice,’ he offered, and when you nodded you then found yourself with his number in your phone along with his address.

His house was nice and the front yard was covered in toys, loud music drifting from the backyard as kids screamed in delight and parents talked over them as best they could. You held the dish you'd decided to bring at the mention that it'd be a potluck a little closer to your chest before knocking on the door, almost missing the sign taped to the wall above the doorbell. It told you and their other guests to head around back for the party, and you followed the path to the side gate and headed to where all the voices were coming from. 

He had a huge pool that was currently filled with kids and their friends, some of the adults hanging out by the deep end as others were crowding around the grill, and you searched for him in this sea of strangers until you spotted him exiting through the back door, the cheesecakes in hand. You grinned as you rushed over to help, but you stopped when an auburn-haired woman walked up instead, taking your Caramel Pecan from him and making a face at it before placing it on the table along with the other treats. You stilled, halfway to him as he waved off her disgust with a laugh, and you felt yourself become self-conscious; you enjoyed his company, and he was fun to talk to, but you didn't belong in this part of his life, no, you were his friend among the aisles from between 5:15-6PM, you shouldn't be there-

‘Hey! You made it!’ You stopped mid-turn at the sound of his voice, a smile plastered to your face as he jogged over, and you wouldn't tell him but he really did look like a dad in his casual clothes, it was a good look on him.

‘Hey, yeah, something came up so I just wanted to drop this off on my way,’ you lied, and his smile turned to disappointment as he glanced back at the party.

‘You sure you can't stay? The food's almost ready, we were gunna get out the protector and watch a move on the side of the house while we ate,’ he told you almost sadly, and you were about to decline when the woman from earlier walked up next to him and looked you over. ‘Rita, this is the one I was telling you about, my new friend from Walkers,’ he announced as she linked her arms through his, and she wasn't at all like he described as she glanced up at him so fast he missed it, but you didn't.

‘Charmed, I take it you're staying for dinner?’ she asked, and she didn't sound nearly as nice as he made her out to be.

‘I, uh…’

‘You were just telling me what you wanted, burger or hot dog,’ he cut in, looking hopeful as you held your bowl of potato salad a little tighter. ‘We also have sausages and some vegetarian options, if you'd prefer?’

‘A cheeseburger sounds great,’ you finally replied, and he nodded before calling over to someone named Tommy by the grill to toss on two more for you. Rita let go as he led you to the table so you could set down your bowl, and everything looked delicious as you gazed over the spread, completely entranced by what you planned on grabbing before he held you out of the way of a bunch of running kids. You thought he scolded them for running and to be careful, but honestly you didn't hear anything as your face was pressed to his chest, his hands warming you more than the sun as they rested over your back and arm.

‘Sorry about that, you know how kids get,’ he chuckled as he let you go, and when he asked about how red you were you quickly blamed it on the sun so you could hide in the shade a safe distance away.

You ended up staying til dark, the food so delicious that you couldn't stop until you were full, and your Caramel Pecan cheesecake was even more delicious as he handed it to you while his wife scowled in the background, jealous over nothing. You knew you'd never make a move on him, seeing him around his family was enough to fully kill the crush, but still you couldn't leave as you sat in the grass and watched horror movies with the rest of his friends once the kids went to bed. The speakers couldn't be too loud, but that didn't stop everyone else as they had a great time, and when you stopped by the pool to enviously check it out, you found yourself splashing along with the others when he pushed you over the edge, jumped in, and encouraged everyone else to join, which they all childishly did.

You didn't hang out outside of shopping, the party would have to be your only exception, but you still had fun with him as you met up in the parking lot every Thursday after that. He shared his favourite recipes with you when you were looking to try something new, and was always ready to grab something off the top shelves for you while you grabbed stuff from the lower ones, bad back he explained after too many spills trying to keep up with the kids. You became close enough to openly talk about your jobs and your weeks, more invitations to parties offered to you every time you met, it seemed he was just really that social, but you found excuses for every one of them to his growing disappointment; you still saw Rita glaring at you when you looked at him, and you didn't want to start anything when your intentions for talking to him were nothing but pure now. 

As you were checking out, he offered for you to join them for movie night, this one would be a smaller gathering in case you didn't like the crowds, and you just laughed and declined as always. ‘It's not the crowds,’ you reassured him as your stuff was rung up, Lester bagging all of his own since you'd let him go first. ‘I'm just… not one for parties in general.’ It was a boldfaced lie, but you'd rather lie to him than get him in trouble with his wife just by being there.

‘It's not a party, it's movie night,’ he insisted, and he held the extra large bag of assorted salty snacks up high to tempt you. ‘C'mon, you told me you had a rough week, one round of cards with my kids will cheer you up, and since it's movie night you can pick your favourite to join the lineup, what do you say?’

That sounded wonderful, if you were to be completely honest, and you just sighed dramatically before grabbing a big bag of chips from beside you to add to your remaining items. ‘What's your family's stance on Stephen King?’ you asked as you pulled out your wallet, and he just grinned widely as the last of his bags was stuffed into the cart.

‘Too scary for me, but my eldest loves him.’

You nearly crushed your poor bag of chips by the time you got to his house on Saturday, a bottle of your favourite soda tucked under your arm as well just in case he didn't have it and so you'd be able to drive home later. It was already starting to get dark since you wanted to give them time to have dinner together despite him saying it started early, and you could already hear a movie going on on the other side of the door as you knocked. You waited a moment as the movie was paused, and a little boy who couldn’t be more than 8 opened up and stared at you before calling back over his shoulder that you were finally there, putting extra emphasis on the ‘finally.’

You heard Lester laugh before he stumbled into view, and he welcomed you in with a bright smile as you held up your chips and drink. ‘You're late! We saved you some dip, had to fight these animals back with a stick to keep them away from it,’ he teased as he brought you to the living room, his kids piled onto the floor with pillows and blankets while a few couples, more of his friends, took up the couches, the loveseat empty and waiting for you. 

‘Daddy, we saw you eat a bunch!’ the boy, apparently his middle child, cried out as he hit his legs while he passed by, his body bouncing energetically on his pillows as he then flopped back down, and Lester just shook his head in denial before reclaiming the spot next to his wife, his youngest going from her lap to his the moment he was settled. The movie was resumed, your chips on your lap as you tried to ignore the heat from Rita's gaze that he somehow didn't notice, and you only got a few in before the middle one noticed you had something different. ‘Did you bring enough to share with the class?’ he asked smartly as he turned and stared up at you from the coffee table, his eyes purely on your chips and those alone.

‘Shaun-’ Lester said warningly, he’d had enough snacks already apparently to not let you enjoy yours, but still you waved him off and held the bag out. He thanked you and grabbed two big handfuls, his eldest, Denise, or Deni everyone called her, glancing over before you just relented and passed it down, ready to try out that dip you almost missed out on instead, one of his friends handing it to you and stealing one final chip's worth before going back to his beer. It was damn good, you could see why it was almost completely gone, and this he did notice as he called your name before a very loud action sequence nearly drowned him out.

‘Want me to make more?’ he asked as you chowed down, and when you shook your head politely so as to not trouble him, everyone else loudly exclaimed, ‘Yes!’ at the same time. ‘Okay, okay, it's Annie’s bedtime anyway,’ he conceded as he stood, the movie not paused this time as he brought his sleeping youngest upstairs. You watched him go in the reflection of the TV stand packed with trinkets and knick knacks and photos before watching the movie, and when he returned he pressed a kiss to Rita's forehead before heading for the kitchen to make more dip. When he returned everyone was instantly ready for more, but he made sure to scoop a fair amount into your bowl before placing it on the coffee table, since you had missed out after all. You thanked him quietly and went back to eating, your chips returned to you before he sat back down, and it was almost criminal how damn good of a combo they ended up being.

You weren't able to get to your movie since you'd arrived so late, but you were promised first dibs for the next one as long as you showed up on time. You promised, and everyone but Rita waved goodbye to you as you headed out, the kids devouring the last of your chips in front of the TV again.

The next Thursday that came around you were running late, a detour from work to Walkers making you come closer to 5:48 than your desired 5:15, but no matter where you looked you couldn't find him. You felt almost disappointed when you remembered that summer vacation had started, he was probably in California by now, and you hoped he was having a good time as you passed by the dessert counter and noticed that slices of Caramel Pecan were now available.

You didn't see him the next Thursday either, but you didn't know how long his vacation was going for, judging on how excited he was it probably wouldn't be for just a few days, and again you hoped he was having fun as you grabbed yourself a new watermelon using the same guide his wife had sent him.

On the third Thursday you felt worried, he should be back by now, but you didn't think it proper to go to his house and see if his car or the family van were there, that felt much too personal for just a 45 Minute Friend. You felt that, but the temptation was strong when you passed by the pasta sauces.

On the fourth Thursday you figured enough was enough, something was wrong, and you piled your food into the back of your car and tried not to speed to his house. His car wasn't there but the van was, maybe he'd had to switch his grocery day to some other time thanks to work, and you felt embarrassed but you'd rather find out from Rita than text him about missing him. You approached the front door and saw lights on inside, but there was something heavy in the air as you raised your hand to knock; there was a lack of happiness radiating from the house, no sounds of the TV drifting through the door, the yard had been cleaned up, something just felt off. 

You took in a deep breath and knocked, and you saw Rita peek through the window's curtains before the door was unlocked. ‘Finally come to collect?’ she snapped as she glared through the gap, and your brow furrowed as you tried to figure out what she meant.

‘What?’

‘You can have him, I'm done with this,’ was all she said before she slammed the door in your face, your confusion turning to concern as you knocked again.

‘Wait, what're you talking about? Is he okay? Are the kids okay?’ you demanded to know, and as soon as you asked about them the door opened once more; her hand slapped you hard across the face, your eyes wide in surprise as you touched your cheek.

‘He doesn't live here anymore, try any of the fleabag motels along the highway,’ she all but yelled before slamming the door again, and you raced back to your car without another word.

You spent the rest of the night looking for him but was unsuccessful, his car nowhere in sight as you checked every motel and hotel on your GPS, the stinging on your cheek not going away as the sun set and darkness swallowed up everything.

You tried to check out the store every night after that, keeping a worried eye out for him as you bought only a couple things so you wouldn’t just be loitering, although it seemed like the dessert counter worker was now used to your friendship. She called out to you as you passed, your eyes scanning every which way as you slowly turned to face her. ‘Haven’t seen him around lately, he feeling alright?’ she asked concernedly, and you could only shrug, you were just his friend, after all.

You kept up your search for a week, Thursday coming by again as your snacks ran out and you did have to get some real food like a real adult, and you were in the middle of turning down the pasta aisle when you saw him standing there and staring at the jar of sauce in his hand. ‘Lester!’ you started to call out in pure relief, but when he heard your voice and turned to you, you only saw the saddest pair of eyes you’d ever seen in your life; the smile was gone, buried underneath the sorrow, he was just barely holding it together, and you ditched your cart right there and you quickly jogged over. ‘Hey, is everything okay? I haven’t seen you in over a month.’

You didn’t want it to sound like you’d been waiting for him, but if it did come across that way he didn’t notice as he looked back down at his wife’s favourite brand.

‘Haven’t had time to come, been trying to secure an apartment from my hotel,’ he confessed, and when he blinked a tear ran down his cheek. ‘Haven’t been very hungry, anyway…’

‘What… I mean, why did-?’ You couldn’t ask it, not when the pieces were starting to fall together, and he didn’t clarify anything as he nearly dropped the jar; you just barely caught it, his hand covering his eyes for just a moment as he bit back a sob, and when you put it back on the shelf you found yourself comfortingly rubbing his back.

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come, it’s been so hard since…’

‘It’s okay, do you have a list? I think I remember what you usually get, let me help you,’ you offered, and when he looked at you you felt your heart clench so much your knees nearly gave out. ‘Shopping’s more fun with some company, right?’ He nodded, and you skipped the rest of the aisle entirely as you tried to remember what you’d seen him get in the past. It was slow work, he kept lingering around certain things like the cereal and kid-targeted snacks, your heart hurting more and more the closer you got to the desserts. He didn’t even look at them, and you quickly asked for two slices of Caramel Pecan while he avoided staring at all the chocolate flavours.

He went to pay when you were all done, but he was low on cash, no cards in his wallet to go with them, and you understood that all his money must’ve been going towards the hotel as you pulled out your own wallet. ‘Please, I can’t ask you to,’ he mumbled, but you just placed your hand on his as you forced a smile.

‘What else are friends for?’ you asked, and he silently let you pay as he packed his stuff into as few bags as he could to save you a few cents.

Your groceries were completely forgotten as you then helped him pack them into the trunk of his car, fast food wrappers littering the floor of the backseat, and you didn’t comment on them as he obviously looked embarrassed about it. The sky rumbled as you unloaded the last bag, and you should’ve really run back inside, but you couldn’t leave him as he got into the front seat and just sat there, staring at the wheel. You opened up the passenger door and sat down next to him, his eyes glancing at you before he patted your hand, his thanks just barely out of his mouth before he finally broke down.

He sobbed openly in the privacy of his car as he covered his eyes again, his shoulders shaking and his weeping only enhanced by the rain as it turned from a light drizzle to a storm within moments. You just let him cry, ready to wait until he was able to speak, small waves blown across the pavement in front of you as other people hurried to their own cars, his cart slowly rolling away in the background. It took a while but finally he was ready, and he didn’t look at you as he wiped his eyes and sniffed.

‘Rita asked for a divorce, said she wants full custody,’ he confessed as the thunder roared above, and the pain in your heart turned to a pounding as you felt not sadness but anger overtake you.

‘That’s bullshit!’ you shouted, but you controlled your voice when he recoiled. ‘Sorry, but you’re an amazing father, where the hell did this come from?’

‘She thinks I was cheating on her, wouldn’t even tell me who she thought it was,’ he told you with another sniff, and you felt your cheek sting again as you recalled the look on her face as she slammed the door in yours. ‘I would never, I love- I loved her so much, and my kids-’ He broke down again, and you refused to even attempt to hold yourself back as you leaned over the console and pulled him into your arms. He melted into them, crying on your shoulder as you whispered comfort to him, patted and rubbed his back, his grip on you so hard that it hurt but you didn’t care.

‘I won’t let her do this, you know I work at a law firm, I’ll message everyone I know to help with your case,’ you swore, and he just shook his head against you.

‘Why would they side with me when she tells them what she thinks?’ he mumbled, and you backed up so he’d look at you.

‘Because I know who you are, and I will not let you lose your kids.’

His eyes looked between your own as a single tear fell, and if your crush was still there you might’ve wanted to kiss him, but that wasn’t what he needed. No, you meant every word that you’d said, and you were going to make good on it for him because he was your friend, and you would not ruin this more for him when his feelings were that that mattered right now. You were his friend, and you loved him like that, and he could see that you were serious as he hugged you again but didn’t cry, his voice so broken and soft and unlike the lively energy you’d gotten to know over your grocery trips.

‘Thank you,’ he whispered, and you didn’t nuzzle into his neck as you placed your hand on the back of his head.

‘I don’t have much, but for now I can at least offer you my couch, if you’re tired of hotel rooms?’ you said softly, and when he went to object you just smiled as your own tears fell when you blinked and stared out into the rain. ‘What else are friends for?’ you repeated, and when he sat back to rub his eyes again his smile was there, just barely hidden under the pain; there was your friend, there was Lester.

You didn’t know how this story would end, but you knew that it wouldn’t involve him losing everything, not if you had anything to say about it, that was for damn sure.

[graphx]

WAIT NONONONONO-

WAIT WAIT WAIT NO

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DIED THE SAME MONTH HE WAS BORN????!!!! WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNNN

we don't have a specific time frame for when bunker dads bite the dust but the fact that it is so close IS JUST HEARTBREAKING WTFFFF

Ray 🤝 Oliver

HAVING THE WORST MEMORIES ASSOCIATED WITH UR BIRTHDAY

[heymrspatel]

can we talk about this real quick? like can we talk about how ian's just lying there looking at his husband in their new space? were they chatting? quiet pillow talk? were they just being quiet and ian was taking it upon himself to fondly observe him? thank you for your time.

ray. you come into my house with this? fully knowing? the effect? it's going? to HAAAVE?! i see how it is...

i think it's a mix of all. i think they're absolutely floating in the afterglow. just taking their time coming down. caressing. quietly talking. taking their time with what they want to say. conversations about anything and nothing. "do you want pancakes tomorrow?" and "we have an easy work day planned" and "i loved how you touched me tonight" and "kiss me" slow, soft. little smooches. little giggles. long stares. easy smiles. heavy sighs. a 'baby' here. a 'big guy' there. i love you, i love you, i love you.

but, i know ian also took his time looking. just going over all those features he already has memorized. mickey's straight nose, his long eyelashes, his eyebrows currently at rest, his freckles. so many! lighter than ian's, but there all the same. his shiny black hair, his ears, his neck - faintly marked - beautiful, collarbone, shoulders, chest, belly, down down down... ian's hands slowly touching everything he's looking at. with his fingers tips, feather soft. mickey all floaty and glowy and warm, accepting it all.

so, yea. i think everything, softly and slowly.

[hiskillingjar]

transfem law x transfem mc?

you're the only bitch that i fucking respect in this town

4700+ words, general warning for some discussed transmisogyny and cw for. uh. animal death, death descriptions, genital mutilation descriptions and shade towards true crime girls.

cross posted on ao3 cus it's long and i want attention :)

"You know, if you brought me out here to kill me, I'm going to be pretty upset."

You smiled in spite of your dark joke as you followed behind Law, them leading the way through the brush after driving you to the woods outside of town. Their long arms pushed aside tree branches for you to pass and kept hold of your hand, so you didn't get lost in the dark.

You'd met Law at therapy after a particularly rough stint at the psych ward, when they still went by 'Lawrence' and you were barely six months on hormones and still got clocked on a regular basis (including by them on your first meeting).

Now, it had been a year, you'd had your first consultation for sexual reassignment surgery (and it had gone successfully), and Law had made some…well, discoveries of their own.

It was nice, having a friend like them, and you liked their company.

"No, no, no,” They said, looking back at you over their shoulder. “I know it’s strange to be out here this late, but…this isn’t what it seems..."

“I know, Law,” You interrupted with a laugh, squeezing their hand a little tighter. "I'm only teasing. "

They took things a little literally at times, a symptom of the disorder that had landed them at therapy in the first place.

You didn’t mind correcting yourself for them, though.

"Oh...right...okay.” They said with a nervous chuckle, reaching back to scratch their neck. “I…um, I just wanted to make sure.”

Their grip tightened around yours for just a moment before going back to normal as they led you deeper into the brush.

It was a dark night, way later than you were usually out (you were, regrettably, somewhat of a morning person later in life), but it was a peaceful kind of dark.

The kind of dark that swallowed people whole and kept them safe, surrounded, like an all-encompassing hug, a pill bug under a log, a baby in the womb, a tapeworm in your twisting guts, worming around your insides and looking for the closest thing it could burrow deeper into.

You squeezed their hand harder and gave your head a little shake, trying to rid yourself of the gruesome imagery, as they pulled you into a quiet clearing of the brush.

The night was clear and cool, and the full moon was out, casting a glow on everything in the surrounding area, something beautiful and...almost otherworldly.

Like for just this one moment, the entire world was on pause and you were the only two people that existed.

It was a nice thought.

"This is it..."Law murmured softly, a little breathless as they stepped and pulled you into the clearing, looking around the small space like a child excited to share a new toy with their friend.

It was a canopy of thick trees surrounding a flat patch of ground, a blue tarp laid out to one side and three tall barrels with tight lids on top of them covered by a similar tarp, hiding whatever the barrels held from prying eyes.

“Cool, if a little creepy. Very Dahmer-esque. I’m into it.” You joked as Law let go of your hand and clenched their long, bony fingers together in front of them. "So, what did you wanna show me, Law?"

"Oh...right, yes. Just..." Law looked at you, those same nervous eyes shining brightly in the dim moonlight, taking in a deep breath before speaking more quietly, their voice dropping to a soft whisper. "Close your eyes for a second, alright? Please?"

“Alright…”

You did as you were told and closed your eyes, your own fingers (not as long but just as bony) curling against the denim of your shorts.

If they did decide to kill you, now would be a fantastic time to do it. You had ignored every red flag and word of advice against doing this just to be here, after all.

“Stay Sexy, Don’t Get Murdered”, your hate-listen podcast had warned that morning, while you walked to work.

What were you doing, ‘getting ugly, waiting to get murdered?’

While your eyes were closed (while your mind was spiralling about their potential bad intentions), Law pulled off and stepped around the crinkling plastic tarp to pry off the lid of one of the barrels.

The smell was putrid, like rot, like death, and immediately hit you like a truck, making your expression wrinkle without even knowing the source.

"Oh, jesus," You murmured, covering your face with the sleeve of your overshirt to try and mask the smell. “What is that?”

“I’m just finding something,” Law said, their voice soft over the sound of sloshing water. They must have been sifting through the mange without gloves (ew) for a good while before it stopped. “Okay…okay, here it is, open your eyes.”

You opened your eyes obediently and saw that they were holding something out for you to see.

Their hands (big, pretty, bigger than yours, made you feel small, made you feel delicate) were sopping wet and almost blue from the cold, but they looked so eager to show you what they had, that it didn’t matter.

Your eyes widened and you gaped a little wider when you recognised...what looked like an animal corpse that had been pulled from the water.

It might have been a rabbit, a hare or maybe even a small dog, if you had to guess, well past the initial stages of decomposition, with mangy flesh melting off the brown bones, wet and murky fur falling to Law’s feet in clumps.

When you looked from the corpse and back to them, Law's grey eyes (usually so dead and dull, but now open and unnervingly alive) shined as a genuine smile came to their pretty face.

The sheer look of excitement on their face was endearing, and you suppressed your initial disgust to share that smile with them.

“I know this isn't the kind of activity you sign up for when you go on a date..." They said, idly licking their lips, their eyes going back down to the corpse as they turned it around, showing you the protruding rib cage and the heavy skull, where most of the gore had rotted away. “But, I just...I wanted to share something I was proud of with someone...someone I feel comfortable with. Someone I care about."

They said such sweet things so thoughtlessly. You envied that about them.

"No, it's..." You laughed, looking a little flustered as you scraped your hair behind your ears and scratched your neck. Was this a date? Had you known, you might have dressed a little nicer and put some foundation on. "It's cool, Law…I appreciate you showing this to me."

“Really?” They said, huffing out a surprised laugh and holding the bones a little closer to their chest. “Oh…ah, that’s…a relief, I suppose. I was nervous that you would think it’s strange, or gross…” They rambled as they turned around and set the corpse onto the tarp carefully, wiping the worst of the gore off on their sweatpants.

“I mean, it is gross.” You laughed, choosing to be honest with them. “But, like, a cool kind of cross. Like those vulture-culture blogs, they do stuff like this too.” You stepped around the clearing and towards them, watching as they knelt down to the tarp and started scraping melted flesh and viscera from the bones with their fingernails. You assumed there were probably better tools to do the task, but said nothing. “What is it, like, roadkill or something?"

"Uhh..."

Their hands stilled at your question, skin stained with black from the gore and still blue from the cold.

They barely reacted to it, if at all.

"No...well, yeah, it might've been already dead before I..." They mumbled, floundering around their words before eventually trailing off with a little, desperate whimper, shame and immense guilt in their expression.

That answered that, then.

You peered towards them as their words trailed off, a slightly sympathetic look on your face.

"You...didn't kill it, did you, Law?" You asked gently, squatting down on the other side of the corpse, lowering yourself down to their level.

It was an important way of establishing a connection, you had been told once, never putting levels between you and a friend or loved one. Sometimes people did the opposite, to be unnerving or intimidating, to designate themselves as a voice of authority and someone to be trusted.

Men did it, mostly. It was important for you to never do something like that.

Law swallowed, unable to look you in the eye, but you received a slow, guilty, nod to your question. It was almost sheepish, like they were a little kid who had just gotten caught doing something they shouldn’t.

Their hands were shaking, but you had a sense that it wasn’t a reaction to the cold.

"I...I..." Their fingers curled into tight, little fists. "I...yeah...I did..."

There was fear in their soft voice, but also a strange kind of…relief.

Relief that they had been able to tell the truth to someone, someone who had heard them out this far, someone they were happy to tell the truth to.

"Ah," You mumbled with a little sigh, wrapping your arms around your knees. "That's a shame…”

That wouldn't go down well in therapy.  But hey, you weren't a therapist.

“But...” You started, licking your lips and trying to meet their eyes with a gentle smile. “I mean, if you don't do it again...I think that’s okay."

“Really…?” They replied, unclenching their fingers and looking back at you, a slight smile tugging at their lips. "I...I won't, I promise."

They were quiet again, idly pulling at a tuft of wet fur still clinging to the bones and rubbing it between the callouses of their fingers. It can’t have been very soft, but you guessed that it was still a decent self-soothing method.

“It’s just…I mean, I go to therapy for a reason, you know that.” They said, digging their grubby fingernail into the bundle of fur. “I see things, I hear things. I get this…urge, sometimes. To…mmph-”

They went quiet quickly, looking back down and biting their lip, as if afraid of losing control of what they were saying.

But you had a good sense of what they were about to say.

You knew the type of girl that Law was.

"Yeah...I get that," You mumbled quietly with a considered tilt of your head, taking a closer look at the poor creature who died so your friend didn’t shoot up a shopping mall (though you had a sense that Law wasn’t the type to own a gun). "I do, I do get it.”

You clutched your knees tighter and let out a slightly shaky sigh.

“I mean, I never killed animals or anything, but, like,” You huffed out a laugh and pushed a shaking hand through your hair, aghast by what you were about to admit. “Okay, um…when I was a teenager, I'd look at these…gore sites. LiveLeaks, BestGore, that shit…”

Law’s eyes snapped up to yours, stunned by your sudden outpouring of honesty.

“It was initially, like, something I did with my friends. You know, dumb teenage boys doing dumb teenage boy stuff,” You said, feeling a little fondness for the edgy snot-rag you had been at fourteen years old. “Then I’d do it by myself. I was curious, at first, and then…it was also just to...feel something. Something other than how I felt, you know? Something other than hatred."

Law let out a little hum and nodded their head.

"Yeah…me too, actually.” A shaky smile came to their face. “I would...I used to browse the dark web a lot, to see those kinds of things. To feel something, like you…um, like you said."

"Yeah. It's, like, a right of passage for girls like us, right?" You replied with a little chuckle, fiddling with your hair. You had cut your bangs too short and were now sporting, what your chronically online friend called, a ‘fuck-ass bob’. You had grown your hair out for so long, but now felt the bob kind of suited you. “I know way too many to count…”

“Girls like us…” Law repeated thoughtfully, trying to laugh along as well, a shy look on their face as a flush came to their pale cheeks. 

You looked up and tried to smile as normally as you could.

"Um…” They started, after a short beat of silence. “So…you know what you asked before...about if I was bringing you out here to kill you?"

"Uh oh," You mumbled, trying to make a joke in spite of the sudden churning in your stomach.

"Wait, no...no, I...-"

They barked out a strange little laugh, before covering their mouth with their dry sleeve, trying to cut themselves off from laughing any more, any louder.

"I wasn't...I'm still not. You don’t have to worry about…about that.” They trailed off, seeming about to say something before they bit their lip again. Finally, they spoke, looking up into your eyes. “But, I've thought about it a few times...killing you."

You swallowed hard, your smile dropping a little.

"Oh..."

“Don’t freak out,” They said quickly, their grey eyes widening a little. The life in them had subsided, just a touch, replaced by a deadened sort of…mania, like they were getting ready to do something drastic.

What were red flags again?

‘Stay Ugly, Do Get Throttled and Killed in a Forest Clearing’.

That would do numbers, if you still cared about doing numbers.

“I just…I wanted to be honest with you.” They then said, derailing your train of thought. “I don’t want to hide things from you. I don’t…like hiding things from people I care about.”

They looked back down, their shoulders sagging and hiding a miserable expression on their face.

“You’re probably going to think I'm crazy, right? M-Maybe I am..."

"No, it's..." You reached over and grabbed their hand. "It's okay, Law.” You said with an encouraging smile, that was now shaking a little. You might have been stupid, but you weren’t so idiotic that you weren’t a little scared. “Thinking about something and doing it are…like, two totally different things, Law."

Law stared at your hand for a moment, gripping it tightly (almost too tightly, bone-crushingly tight, making you look so small again) before letting their grip ease with a sigh.

“You’re…unreal,” They murmured with a disbelieving laugh. They kept their eyes down, still focused on the gore on the blue tarp in front of them.  “If I said that to anyone else, they’d think I was…some deranged freak and get me put away.”

"Well, what kind of a person would I be if I did that?" You mumbled, rubbing your thumb over their bony, blue knuckles.

"A person with common sense, I guess..." Law chuckled a little strangely, hollow, not totally there, their grip tightening again. They seemed oddly pleased by the contact, though, even if there was also a little bit of uncertainty to go along with that excitement.

"Well, I've never pretended to have any of that," You continued with your own chuckle, before biting your lip. "And I’ve been to a psych ward, so I’d never put someone there. But…” You hesitated. “I mean…how...would you do it?"

"Hmm?" Law blinked for a moment, still holding your hands in theirs. "You mean...how I would kill you?"

"Mm..." You hummed, and you felt yourself tremble.

It was the cold of the night and the wet skin against yours that was making you shake.

That’s what you were telling yourself. It can’t have possibly been for any other reason.

Law’s head canted to the side as they watched your trembling form. Their grey eyes narrowed slightly, like a cat watching and playing with a mouse before it was about to leap and strike.

They didn't let go of your hand for even a second either.

If anything, their grip only tightened.

"You're nervous..." They said.

"Yeah," You replied with a nod.

"You're trembling..." They said, as they leaned closer to you.

"Yeah," You replied again with a little sigh.

“You’re beautiful.” They whispered, bringing their face down to yours, chapped lips tracing yours but not closing the gap just yet, waiting for you to do it.

This close, you could smell the putrid water and the smell of rot and plant matter and sweat that clung to their skin, sweet and murky and dead, like their eyes, like their gaze.

A beautiful dead girl, waiting for you.

“How would you kill me, Law?” You asked again, more sure of anything than you had ever been before.

They huffed out another little chuckle with a slight shake of their head, their blunt bangs choppy on their forehead.

They probably cut their hair the same way you did, with kitchen scissors in the mirror.

The tattooed, septum-ringed girls and they-thems at the ‘all-inclusive’ hairdresser in town always cut your hair too short (something something haircuts don’t have gender, easy for them to say) so you did it at home, split ends be damned.

Was Law the same way, now?

“You’re asking for trouble,” They mumbled hotly, their lips still grazing yours as they held your hand even tighter, their fingers still covered in the watery viscera of the dead animal.

“Probably,” You replied with a little nod. “Tell me. Please?”

The words hung in the air between you for a good minute or two (though it could have been hours for all you cared), a quiet, intense silence filling the clearing.

For some reason, the air suddenly felt thick, almost hard to breathe, like you were in one of those barrels, suffocating and trying not to drown.

Your shorts were tights and your fishnets were clinging a little too tightly to your legs, too tight to be as comfortable as they had been.

"I don't know," Law mumbles quietly, honestly, watching as you shift forward on your knees, feeling the crinkle of the tarp sweat against your skin. "I thought about a lot of different ways..."

"Yeah?" You asked, watching as they did the same, unfolding their long legs and sitting on the ground, taking up space. You were always told not to do that, by girls like you, but Law didn't have that same concern. They hadn't been taught to hate themselves in that way. "What's your favourite?"

"Hah," They let out a breathy laugh and shook their head again. "The same way I killed that dog-"

So, it was a dog.

Your stomach turned and you just hoped to fucking God that it was a stray, not a beloved family pet with missing posters now pasted up around the town.

"I'd break your neck and..." They held your hands even tighter and you finally noticed that your fingers were now also streaked with blackened gore, like they were infecting you with the same disease that had infected them and made them so perfect for you. "Put you inside of those barrels."

You let out a little whimper, looking down at your trembling legs as they curled up with Law's, your body subconsciously wanting to be closer to them

Your cock was throbbing under your tight shorts too, despite your turning stomach.

"And watch you melt away," They continued, raising one hand to cup your jaw (hard, chiselled, any threat of stubble burned away months ago) and bringing your lips even closer together. "And keep everything left behind. Bones, hair, matted flesh.” Their lips spread into a sick grin, the rictus smile of a corpse. “Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"Yes," You murmured, your eyes half-lidded and dazed as you stared at them, captured by the dead beauty in those grey eyes. "It would be...wonderful."

They smiled again, and gently kissed your lips.

This wasn't the first time the two of you had kissed, far from it, but something about it felt that way.

Like in the wake of your shared honesty, you were now two brand new people meeting for the very first time, finding each other in the darkness and curling together, twin centipedes in a tree trunk, worms in the dirt, mated maggots in the gore you were streaked with.

You keened in closer, holding their hand tight and parting their chapped lips with your pierced tongue, deepening the kiss in a way you knew they wouldn't.

You didn't mind taking the lead at times.

As long as they did it, most of the time.

"Mm," They moaned quietly, pushing their hand through your dark hair and curling it into a fist, gripping a thick handful of it and using it to wrangle you even closer, to bite down on your gasping lips and take you, as they wanted to.

You didn't mind the pain. You didn't mind the sting of their teeth on your lips or their hands in your hair.

It made you feel a little more like a woman.

Your cock stirred again.

If you were still online, admitting to something like that probably would have earned you a sternly worded anonymous message, filled with buzz words like ‘autogynophilia’ and ‘male socialisation’ and reminding you ‘you should really do better to unlearn your male privilege if you want to be considered safe to this community’.

You weren’t online though.

You hadn’t been back online since your main account got banned for ‘violating community guidelines’ and your fundraiser for facial feminisation surgery got taken down after a wave of mass-reporting, a result of a particularly bad faith call-out post from one of the myriad of trolls that plagued you.

That might have put you in a psych ward two years ago, but you knew you were better without it now.

After all, if you were still online, you probably wouldn’t have met Law.

Law pulled back from the kiss, a thin line of spittle attaching your lips that they licked away, the deep depth of their eyes softening a little as they let go of your hands.

"Can I," They started, reaching down to the crotch of your shorts and pressing a palm against it. You groaned through grit teeth and instantly held their broad shoulders, shifting your hips forward against them, the cool expanse of their palm making you shiver, despite the layers of fabric that separated your skin. "Can I touch your cock?"

"Mmhmm," You nodded, biting your lip.

You took in another groan as they slowly unbuttoned and unzipped your shorts and peeled down your fishnets and panties, finding your cock (a little soft thanks to its tight tuck through the day, but you couldn't manage a full erection most of the time anymore anyway) and giving it a light squeeze.

It was a somewhat awkward motion, but you didn’t blame them that much.

They were never really sure what to do with your cock, which was why they generally preferred to play with your asshole, to tease it with their fingers and their tongue, before penetrating it completely.

You would have preferred that too, especially when you were feeling as vulnerable as you were, but you were in a dirty forest clearing without a condom or any lube. And you might have been dumb enough to follow an animal killer with murderous fantasies about you into that forest, but you weren’t dumb enough to attempt anal sex without the right prep.

You didn’t hate yourself enough.

"What else, hah," You gasped against their trembling lips, holding their shirt tighter in your curled fists as they worked their own fist up and down your soft length, trying to encourage it to a degree of hardness. They probably weren’t going to manage such a feat, but you did appreciate the effort that they were going to for it. "What else have you thought about, Law?"

"Hm?" They looked up at your needy expression, a blush quickly gathering in your cheeks when they saw it, saw your narrowed eyes, your parted lips.

"Tell me how you'll kill me again," You pleaded, reaching down with one hand to grope their own cock through their sweatpants, as the other unbuttoned your plaid overshirt and rolled your tank top up your chest, revealing your pale breasts.

Your nipples were perky in the cold air and Law immediately dipped their head to run their tongue over them, despite your request for them to keep talking.

"Mm," You moaned, all the same, pushing the hand through their hair and guiding their tongue to the ripe bud of your nipple. "Give me a good one, Law...come on."

"Ah," They groaned when you gave their cock another firm squeeze, trying to alert their attention to what you wanted. "I want...mm, I want to take you back to my apartment...and tie you up there." They moaned hotly against your skin, thin hips bucking when your fist tightened at their words. "Cut out your spine so I can...hah, so I can keep it."

You felt a pulse of white-hot heat rush through your body and straight to your cock at that mental image, of you bound (and maybe gagged, like the damsels in movies were, the first kind of womanhood you related to in your boyhood) on the bed where you'd fucked so many times before.

Law would be the hulking slasher villain, they’d have a knife, and they would be standing over you, waiting for the perfect time to strike, when you had gotten so worked up and hysterical that they could really enjoy your death all the more.

"Fuck," You groaned deeply (because fuck the voice training right now), bucking your hips as you felt your cock start to twitch and harden in their hand. "God, that’s so hot. What's wrong with me..."

"Hmph," They huffed out a fond laugh, teasing the bud of your nipple with their crooked teeth, making you whine needily and grip them even tighter. “What did you say, about 'girls like us'...that's what we’re like, isn't it?"

We. Including themselves.

Herself.

"Yeah?" You wheezed through a gasp with your own laugh (sardonic and a little mean, not the way girls should be at all, but the way you were), your eyes darkening as you stared down at them. "That’s right…so, what, you gonna cut my dick out to join my spine, Law?"

"Mmhmm," They hummed (and you were silently thrilled that they didn’t even blink at your slurred request for genital mutilation), a demented and almost peaceful little smile coming to their face as you pried their sweatpants down and revealed the monster between their legs. Your asshole clenched just looking at it, and you couldn’t wait to get back to their apartment if you survived this. "I’d keep it safe. Then I’d cut off your testes and eat them."

Your thighs trembled and you grit your teeth, feeling another pulse of heat shoot to your cock.

"Hah…I read they're a natural source of estrogen somewhere," You managed to wheeze out with a little chuckle. "Makes sense, huh? Where one girl ends, another begins."

"Mmm..." They moaned mindlessly, trailing a thick smear of drool down your chest as they let go of your cock and circled their arms around your little waist tightly, pulling you in close.

Despite your maddening arousal, you let them do it, happily, resting your cheek against the crown of their head, and relishing in the feeling as your cocks pressed and rubbed together, sticky heads occasionally grazing over one another.

"Wanna be your girl," They murmured, kissing and tonguing at your nipple again, clinging to you even tighter. "Can I be your girl? Please? Please let me…"

"Baby," You cooed, shifting your hips even closer to theirs hers, almost sitting in their her lap as your own arms wrapped around their her neck.

Twin centipedes in a tree trunk, wriggling worms in the dirt, mated maggots in the gore your hands, your chest, your rotten cock, were streaked with.

"You always were my girl...and always will be."

[password-door-lock]

Mystictober Day 17-- Vampire/Elixir

Vampire Ray gives you a special elixir (1.2k words).  Content warning: blood, blood drinking, manipulation

“How are you feeling, my prince(ss)?” Ray asks. You have no idea how he got into your room… or when, for that matter. Being a vampire, Ray is sneaky and quick. Being freshly-built— much to your surprise, as you had no idea that new castles were still being erected in the 21st century— Magenta lacks the squeaky floorboards and creaking doors that would otherwise give him away. 

“Alright,” you assure him. “Um, just a little….” You search for a word that won’t offend him to communicate the troubling situation. You haven’t been outside in days, and it’s starting to weigh on you. “Restless.” That’s a nice, neutral descriptor, right? You don’t want to scare Ray or put him off, but you do want to be able to spend at least a little bit of time outdoors. You don’t think that’s too much to ask for. 

“Once that V is taken care of, we’ll be able to have our moonlight walks again,” Ray’s tone is casual, but of course it would be— vampires murder one another, not to mention humans and other mortals, on the regular. Ray has no reason to be disturbed by whatever is happening in the dungeons of Magenta. Your last trip to the garden was just before V arrived. After the strange vampire made the mistake of attempting a conversation with you, Ray tearfully confined you to this room with assurances that you’d be released promptly. This was nearly a week ago.

You have everything you need— clean clothes, a warm bed, and three magnificent meals each day. It’s clear that Ray is smitten with you, and that he delights in providing you with luxury far surpassing anything you’ve ever known before. It’s also clear that you’re his only source of food. He comes to you tired and wan, and leaves reinvigorated, though not before personally ensuring that you dine on the most luxurious fare available. 

“Did you eat well?” Ray asks. You know that if he took one sip of your blood and thought you were even the slightest bit malnourished, he’d pull away immediately and nurse you back to health. This might become a hazard to his own health, as well, considering how hungry he always seems. 

“Of course, Ray.” You undo the top button of your shirt, giving Ray more space to drink from your neck.

“Um, but before we do that—” With a gentle hand, palpably cold even through the leather glove, Ray arrests your wrist. “I talked to my Savior, and… she thought it’d be best if you… became a member of this place.”

The Mint Eye— named for the unnatural shade of some vampire’s irises— has a number of dedicated human believers, all of whom are used by the Savior and a select number of vampires. “If I become a believer,” you begin, “Would… would you still be the only one that feeds off me?” The Savior has been known to drain believers completely, after all. Ray warned you on your first day here not to leave your room unaccompanied for this very reason. He explained that his Savior is good and benevolent, but doesn’t seem able to stop herself from feeding to completion, even if it costs her prey their life. You wonder how hungry she must be for this to be the case. 

“Oh, of course,” Ray holds your hand, settling it into your lap as though he might induce your relaxation by manipulating your limbs like a doll’s. “In fact… once you do this one thing… no other vampire could ever drink from you. They— they wouldn’t want to taste your blood, not even a little bit.”

Oh. Then whatever this ritual is, the Savior has probably performed it on most of the other believers— that’s why Ray only drinks from you. He doesn’t say it aloud, but the implication is clear: if you refuse, the Savior might intervene, and then, without a doubt, Ray will go hungry. 

“Okay,” you agree, avoiding Ray’s gaze. You’re somewhat daunted by the prospect of participating in an arcane rite that will cement your membership in a fucked-up vampire cult. At the same time, you don’t want Ray to starve, and you don’t want to become the Savior’s victim. He’s framing it like you have a choice, but he must understand that you do not. 

“Really?” Ray sounds so cute that you can’t help but laugh. You regain a little more of your confidence, set at ease as you always are by his calming presence. He’s giving you puppy dog eyes, which are incongruous with his large, obtrusive fangs. 

“Really,” you respond with newfound resolve. 

“All you need to do is drink,” Ray informs you calmly, using his fang to make a small incision on the underside of his wrist. The blood pools slowly as he holds his arm out to you.  “From my veins. Then you’ll be mine forever, and nobody else can have you.” 

“Will it hurt you?” You ask. Ray’s blood flows much slower than a human’s would, but you are understandably disturbed by the large wound in such a vital place. Sure, it’s fine for you when Ray drinks your blood, but he’s a vampire. There are chemicals in his fangs to ensure a pleasant experience for everyone involved, and his saliva has healing properties to ensure that the wound closes quickly and without infection. 

Ray chuckles, bringing his wrist right to your lips. You can practically taste the blood already. “I’ll heal in a few minutes. Drink.” 

You do as he says, bracing yourself for the horrible, salty flavor of human blood. Not being a vampire, you’ve never had any interest in consuming the stuff. But the elixir running through Ray’s veins is surprisingly sweet, and his free hand playing with your hair feels surprisingly comforting. The entire ordeal is quite intimate, and it’s difficult to tell whether your blissful lightheadedness is due to the vampire blood in your system or the contact between your lips and Ray’s cool skin. In this moment, the only thing you know is that you belong to him. You would follow Ray to the ends of the earth. 

“That’s it,” he encourages you. “Good. You’re doing so well, my prince(ss).”

You’re so dizzy that you hardly even notice when Ray pulls away. “Huh?” You ask, perplexed. You barely even got a taste. 

“You did so well,” Ray praises you, “But… prince(ss)... now it’s my turn. I’m… starting to get hungry, and the ritual is already complete.” There’s a wild look in his eyes. Something about watching you drink from his wrist must have invoked something within him— or maybe your senses are heightened somehow, and you’re better able to pick up on the world around you. 

“Of course.” He must be even hungrier after having his blood taken— you always are, and you usually get to eat before feeding Ray. “Please, go ahead.” For some reason, you desperately want him to drink your blood. In fact, you don’t think you’ll ever be happy again if Ray isn’t feeding from you for the rest of your life— but that’s no cause for concern, is it? You’re here with him at Magenta, where the two of you can take your time. 

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

Immortal au drabble 2, domestic arc — about 730 words, no warnings

-

It was a cold day. Not snowing, not yet, but the temperature sure felt like freezing. The cold wind burned against your face, you could see your breath as you sighed.

You were sitting outside despite the weather, nearing the empty road near the forest ground. You didn't know why on earth there was a bench there, but you didn't mind as you sat on it and just watched the minutes go by.

You didn't notice how long you were out for or how cold you had gotten until you felt a warmer, metallic hand touch your shoulder from behind.

You look up, and Sun smiles down at you. He's wearing a sweater, and a very thick jacket on top of it. Certainly is more than you have on yourself now.

"Sunny", you smile back at your friend, and pat to your side on the bench for him to sit down. He does without missing a single bit. You hum as you look back at the horizon. As much as it had changed over the years, you still think that's a pretty sight to have.

Sun also hums, and you can feel his stare on you for a moment. Eventually, he takes your hand on his own. His are much larger than yours, but you always thought it was quite a nice difference.

"Your hands are colder than when I lost a bet and had to stick my hand into the snow for five minutes." He chastises you, but you can hear the smile on his voice as he engulfes your hand on both his own and hold close to him, making exaggerated sigh sounds as if he even had a lung on the first place, to try to warm your hand up with hot air.

You can guess who made that bet in the first place. You can't help but laugh at the silliness of it all. They are not affected by the cold the same way you are, after all. Though they still can feel it.

"What was the point of sticking your hand into snow anyway?", you laugh, turning to face your friend. His rays spin once.

"I'm afraid you'd have to ask Moon that", he bops your nose, "you know his mind works in... mysterious ways." He takes your other hand into his own. He's warm, it almost makes you want to lean into him. "I suppose yours do, too."

He chuckles, and you gasp in mock offense.

"Now, what was that supposed to mean, Mr. Sun Drop?"

"Oh why, I am simply astounded by our little Star's exquisite taste," one of his hands touch your cheek, a thin smile spread across his face. "You always like staying outside so much, specially in such weather and such light clothes! It marvels me— I wonder what is it this beauty you see in freezing?"

You hate you can't argue with him. Still, the audacity of this oversized roomba. The cold is great, alright. You're barely feeling it anymore anyway.

"Very funny", you roll your eyes at his sarcasm, but smile fondly still.

"It is my job to be silly," Sun's rays spin as he beams, "and your job to not freeze to death. C'mon."

And just like that, he picks you up. You saw it coming, really — he always does this. At least he's nicer about it than Moon.

You lean against him, not even bothering to protest. His jacket is soft to the touch, and his body is warm — a lot warmer than yours, at least. You really need to stop spacing out outside during winter.

He opens the door without issue, and promptly wraps you into a blanket burrito with a light blue colored, cloud themed blanket he probably had picked out before going to grab you outside.

He sits you on the couch, and sits by your side, cuddling your smaller and stuck frame. He doesn't even nag you anymore about how irresponsible that is, and instead just sighs and pat your head as he makes sure you're warm.

"You need to stop doing this", he says.

"My bad", you reply with little apologetics, knowing very well that will happen again soon. It's not like the cold can kill you, so might as well enjoy the peace it gives you.

Despite all their nagging, they always go to pick you up.