#rattlesnake cookie

[dragonfruitghosts]

Decided to download CRK onto my IPad and it was the worst mistake of my life I have so many cookie f/os now /silly

So yes I have Cookie Run self inserts I’ve been waiting to post about them for like weeks but I wanted to wait til I finished the main five of them so behold, my beasts

So all of these beasts (and who they’re shipped with) in order: Snakefruit Dragon Cookie (shipped with Pure Vanilla), Lingonberry Otter Cookie (shipped with Dark Choco), Rattlesnake Cookie (shipped with Licorice), Blue Velvet Cookie (shipped with Red Velvet and is my personal favorite beast), and Marshmallow Pegasus Cookie (shipped with Cream Unicorn)

All cookies in my art style will become beastly like these fellas as I cannot draw the cookies normally to save my life, also it’s just the nonhuman kin swag (/silly)

I will try my best to show their ships and such (plus lore about them cuz they all have so much lore) but they are here and they will be causing mass destruction

[the-angel-of-the-bottomless-pit]

Light blue and yellow

light blue- you are the definition of unrecognized talent yellow- i want to bake you cookies

POT COOKIES ALL AROUNDDD

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

I've had a really rough end of July so if possible could you share some happy things about snakes?

Sorry you're having a rough time. I'm a similar spot but hey, we got this! And one thing you can always count on, no matter how tough things get? Awesome snake facts. 😎

Some of my favorite feel-good snake facts:

Did you know snakes can have friends? Garter snakes are very social by snake standards, and they have complex social relationships! They form friendships and consistently choose to hang out with their buddies!

Boomslangs are gorgeous, highly venomous colubrids. They're beautiful, charismatic snakes!

And when they're babies, they look like bobbleheads. Definitely some of the cutest babies in the snake world!

Did you know that snakes save millions of lives every year? Snake venom collected at venom labs is used in the production of life-saving medications, especially cardiac and anti-convulsive drugs!

Saw-scaled vipers. Highly venomous, very grumpy...and absolutely adorable!

Broad-headed snakes are currently some of the most endangered snakes in Australia, suffering from the effects of habitat loss. However, we're hearing lots of good news about them lately - zoo breeding programs are helping to increase genetic diversity in the captive population with hopes to release snakes into the wild, and plans to restore their lost habitats in the Sydney Basin are underway.

This isn't necessarily a fact but I really love this picture of an egg-eating snake who is so happy to have found a yummy egg.

Snakes can have heterochromia! It's most often seen in leucistic snakes, and they have one blue eye and one black eye. Almost every single one I've heard of (and the only one I've ever seen in person) have been leucistic Colombian rainbow boas.

Black-tailed rattlesnakes are so beautiful, they always make me happy! They come in an incredible range of colors, from dark browns to dusky greys.

Speaking of beautiful rattlers, speckled rattlesnakes can look like cookie dough ice cream!

Hope things look up for you soon! Take care.

[gowns]

you know, they tell you all about childhood wonder, but i made spaghetti squash last night, and i told my 6 year old, "look! this looks like an ordinary squash, but look what happens when you cook it! it's going to turn into spaghetti!" and i roasted it and took it out of the oven and showed her, "look! look! check this out! it's like magic! spaghetti!!!!" digging my fork into the squash, the little strings coming out looking so goddamn much like spaghetti, in a way that still amazes me, as an adult, even though i've seen it happen before, it's still incredible to me, holy shit, here's this thing that grows out of the ground and we figured out that if you roast it the insides look identical to this other thing that exists, that is also edible, and they taste pretty good with the same seasonings and sauces.

"look! the squash turned into spaghetti! holy cow!" i even wrapped the strings around my fork, like a spaghetti commercial.

my 6 year old looked at my fork, looked at me, with a world weary glare, then rolled her eyes. "i'm not going to eat that." "ok, ok, you don't have to eat it, but isn't it cool?! how does it do that?!" "whatever." whatever! how can you whatever seeing a spaghetti squash for the first time?!

i tell you, we were sold a bill of goods about childhood wonder. there are so many things that amaze me that don't amaze my kids.

when i think about it, i remember that i was the same way, when i was that age, when i learned to read bigger books; i read a few science books, then i felt like i knew everything, and nothing amazed me anymore, everything that could be imagined had already happened. everything had a rational explanation. christmas lights were just electricity. mickey mouse is just a guy in a costume. vegetables are just vegetables and not that exciting; food doesn't need to be exciting, after all, it just needs to be safe and familiar.

--

just a few hours after the spaghetti squash, after i had put them to bed -- i heard the gentle click of my kid's bedroom door. her head popped into the bathroom, where i was taking a bath.

"i can't go to sleep, because i'm afraid."

"afraid of what?"

"i was watching a show about rattlesnakes, and a gila monster was about to eat them, and i turned it off, but now i'm still thinking -- what if i was a snake, and a gila monster was about to eat me?"

"...well, you are very lucky, because you are not a snake. and there are no gila monsters here."

"yes, but what if i was a snake? and what if there was a gila monster?"

"but you are a kid, and you are safe in your bedroom."

"but what if i wasn't?"

--

what i love about kids is that they are full of surprises. you can't predict how they'll react to things. adults follow scripts, but kids write their own. especially in these brief, precious years -- between 4 and 10 -- when they have enough language to communicate and process the world, but they're not following any scripts yet. and they have big emotions because they bristle against all the scripts being presented to them.

so you get all these funny contrasts -- the big christmas decorations are "whatever," but what's really fun is twisting these fuzzy pipe cleaners together. this toy doll is kind of fun, but what's really fun is pouring water in her mouth until she's sopping wet, cracking up because it's like she peed all over herself, then deciding to take a bath at noon. (taking a bath at noon is fun, taking a bath at bathtime is not.) the "make your own cookie" pre-made set is not fun, but mixing a big bowl of flour until everything is covered in white definitely is.

i love them because they're right. because we're both right. because they fill my life with contrasts. the spaghetti squash IS amazing, and it's ALSO pretty boring. coloring on paper IS limited fun, coloring on walls DOES feel liberating. it's true that we are not snakes, but what if we WERE?

we are always showing each other alternative ways of being!

[f-o-and-selfship-club]

NEW F/O List!!!

Romantic F/Os❤️💖

Scarecrow (Batman The Animated Series, The New Batman Adventures, Nolanverse, Brave and The Bold, Arkhamverse, Fear State, Injustice 2, Audio Adventures, Tomorrow-Verse, Harley Quinn Series and Happy Halloween Scooby Doo)

Luigi, Bowser and Daisy (Mario)

Meta Knight (Kirby)

Mad Hatter (Batman The Animated Series)

Penguin and Ragdoll (The Batman 2004 Series)

Riddler (The Batman 2004 Series and Arkham Knight)

Joker (Batman The Animated Series and The Batman 2004 Series)

The Question and Huntress (Justice League Unlimited)

Gentleman Ghost (Batman - The Brave and The Bold)

Spawn (Image Comics)

Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Snork (Moomin)

Radley Heeler and Frisky Heeler (Bluey)

Wes Weasley (Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog)

Unexplained Noises (Orion and The Dark)

Mr Shark and Diane Foxington (The Bad Guys)

Doctor Octopus, Vulture, Electro and Shocker (Spectacular Spider Man)

Bender (Futurama)

Po and Lord Shen (Kung Fu Panda)

Mr Scatterbrain (Mr Men Show)

Alastor, Zestial, Velvette and Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel)

Blitzø, Paimon, Asmodeus, Sallie May and Striker (Helluva Boss)

Dr Krankcase (Skylanders)

Professor Venomous (OK K.O)

Girlfriend, Chris, Nikku, Nikusa, Garcello and Tabi (Friday Night Funkin)

Taki (Friday Night Fever)

Zavok, Zazz, Blaze, Espio and Tangle (Sonic)

Paintbrush, Silver Spoon, Candle, MePhone4S, Bandana and Hay Bale (Inanimate Insanity)

Conch Shell and PDA (The Power of Two)

Needle, Pen, Donut and Tennis Ball (Battle For Dream Island)

Six, Lollipop and Gaty (Battle For BFB)

Thrax (Osmosis Jones)

Amadeus Wolfgeist, Hellen Gravely and Morty (Luigi's Mansion)

Scar and Lex Woods (Alien Vs Predator)

Vex (Sackboy - A Big Adventure)

Sideshow Bob, Ned Flanders, Moe Syzlack and Waylon Smithers (The Simpsons)

Neo Cortex and Pinstripe Potoroo (Crash Bandicoot)

Fred Jones (Scooby Doo)

The Earl and The DangerGrid of Doom (Skatoony)

Monica (Oggy and The Cockroaches)

Black Hat (Villainous)

Jafar (Disney's Aladdin)

Nasira (Disney's Aladdin in Nasira's Revenge)

Maleficent (Disney's Sleeping Beauty)

Captain Hook (Disney's Peter Pan)

Hades (Disney's Hercules)

Peppino Spaghetti and Vigilante (Pizza Tower)

Katz, Freaky Fred and Computer (Courage The Cowardly Dog)

Espresso Cookie, Clover Cookie and Frost Queen Cookie (Cookie Run - Kingdom)

Rainbow Dash, Princess Cadence, Discord, Cheese Sandwich, Trenderhoof, Pinkie Pie and Tree Hugger (My Little Pony)

Fear and Anxiety (Inside Out)

Eddie Brock/Venom (Venom)

The Mole (Happy Tree Friends)

Goofy (Disney)

Simon Belmont (Captain N The Game Master)

Izzy, Chris McLean, Mike/Svetlana/Manitoba Smith/Mal and Zoey (Total Drama)

Nordic Bunny (Shred Force)

Mr Puzzles (SMG4)

Mario.EXE (Mario's Madness)

MX (Mario 85 and Mario's Madness)

Dr Nefarious and Emperor Nefarious (Ratchet and Clank)

Claude Frollo and Esmeralda (Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

Kasane Teto (Vocaloid and UTAU)

Ales Mansay and Mr Dark (Rayman)

Ramon/Rayman (Captain Laserhawk)

Midnite and Edge (Mario + Rabbids)

Darkwing Duck, QuackerJack and Negaduck (Darkwing Duck)

Sniper, Medic and Spy (Team Fortress 2)

Right Hand Man (Henry Stickmin)

Sasha Waybright (Amphibia)

Wally Darling (Welcome Home)

Caine (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Dr Strangeglove and Luvli (Moshi Monsters)

NOS-4-A2, Zurg and Ty Parsec (Buzz Lightyear of Star Command)

Emperor Belos and Raine Whispers (Owl House)

Devil, King Dice and Baroness Von Bon Bon (Cuphead Show)

Elvira (Elvira, Mistress of the Dark and Happy Halloween Scooby Doo)

Rango and Beans (Rango)

Gia (Madagascar)

Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal TV series)

Suki (Avatar - The Last Airbender)

[Queerplatonic]🍀💚

Maud Pie (My Little Pony)

Rattlesnake Jake (Rango)

Ford Pines (Gravity Falls)

Trenderman (Creepypasta)

Gaston (Disney's Beauty and the Beast)

Toffee (Star VS The Forces of Evil)

Rita (Flushed Away)

Platonic F/Os💛🌹

Kuromi and Cinnamoroll (Sanrio)

Moony (ENA)

Henry Stickmin, Ellie Rose, Reginald Copperbottom and Sven Svensson (Henry Stickmin)

Dr Flug and White Hat (Villainous)

Benrey (Half Life VR)

Boyfriend, Carol, Annie, Pom Pom and Ash (Friday Night Funkin)

Edd, Eduardo and Zanta Claws (Eddsworld)

Ell (Ellsworld)

Rayman (Rayman and Animated Series)

Globox, Grand Minimus and Teensies (Rayman)

Betina (Rayman the Animated Series)

Flynn, Cali, Hugo, Tessa, Eye Brawl, Chop Chop and Wrecking Ball (Skylanders)

Bambi and Faline (Disney's Bambi)

SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Sandy Cheeks and Karen Plankton (SpongeBob)

Tanjiro Kamado (Demon Slayer)

Poppet, Zommer and Katsuma (Moshi Monsters)

Wall-E, EVE and M-O (Wall-E)

Charlie Morningstar, Angel Dust, Vaggie, Nifty and Vox (Hazbin Hotel)

Bunny, Kitty, Shirley the Medium, Cajun Fox and Black Puddle Queen (Courage The Cowardly Dog)

Anne Boonchuy (Amphibia)

Red Action (OK K.O)

Cream Puff Cookie, Strawberry Crepe Cookie and Cherry Blossom Cookie (Cookie Run: Kingdom)

Rocko Rama and Filburt Shellbach (Rocko's Modern Life)

Maria (Unicorn Wars)

Luca Paguro (Luca)

Curse Of X, Lord X and NormalCD (VS Sonic.EXE)

Bubble, Ice Cube and Pin (Battle For Dream Island)

Four, Eight, Nine, Ten, Fourteen, Five and Two (Battle for BFB)

Iscream, Fwench Fwy and Cofi (Chikn Nuggit)

Freckles and Rocky (Lackadaisy)

Alex, Marty and Vitaly (Madagascar)

Charlie Dompler and Pim Pimling (Smiling Friends)

Mario, Peach, Wario and Toad (Mario)

Sonic, Amy Rose, Vector and Chip (Sonic)

Knuckles (Sonic Movie)

Po, Laa-Laa, Tinky Winky and Dipsy (Teletubbies)

Alice (Batman The Animated Series)

Donutella (Donutella)

Bianca (Pokémon)

Nazz (Ed, Edd N Eddy)

Oggy and Marky (Oggy and The Cockroaches)

Verosika Mayday, Collin, Vortex and Queen Bee-Zlebub (Helluva Boss)

Pomni and Jax (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Gus Porter and Hunter (Owl House)

N-Gin, Small Norm, Big Norm, Komodo Joe and Komodo Moe (Crash Bandicoot)

GB (Mario's Madness)

Bullfrog (Captain Laserhawk)

Bubble (Fundamental Paper Education)

Glendale (Centaurworld)

Vanity Smurf (Smurfs)

Bernie and Marina (Zig and Sharko)

Flaky (Happy Tree Friends)

Snorky, Fleegle, Drooper and Bingo (The Banana Splits)

Karen, Axol and SMG3 (SMG4)

Familial F/Os💙🍒

[Parents]🍁

Bandit Heeler, Chilli Heeler, Calypso, Pat and Brandy Heeler (Bluey)

Eda Clawthorne, Lilith Clawthorne, Darius Deamone and Camila Noceda (Owl House)

Millie, Moxxie and Stolas (Helluva Boss)

Lucifer Morningstar, Rosie, Carmilla Carmine and Husk (Hazbin Hotel)

Jack Skellington and Sally (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Moominpappa and Moominmamma (Moomin)

Mama White and Papa White (Sanrio)

Victor, Laverne and Archdeacon (Disney's Hunchback Of Notre Dame)

King Andrias and Lady Olivia (Amphibia)

Lila and John (Spooky Month)

Wallace, Lady Tottington and Wendolene Ramsbottom (Wallace and Gromit)

Muriel Bagge (Courage The Cowardly Dog)

Yor Forger and Loid Forger (Spy X Family)

Solazar, Ruv, Sarvente and Dr Springheel (Friday Night Funkin)

Alice (Pokémon - Rise of Darkrai)

Count Bleck and Tippi (Super Paper Mario)

Tankman and Steve (Tankmen)

King Boo and Rosalina (Mario)

Dr Eggman and Vanilla (Sonic)

Optimus Prime (Transformers)

Ventriloquist and Scarface (Batman The Animated Series)

Catwoman (The Batman 2004 Series)

Connor and Lieutenant Hank Anderson (Detroit: Become Human)

Jason Voorhess and Pamela Voorhees (Friday The 13th - Original)

Ragatha and Kinger (The Amazing Digital Circus)

EteleD/Henry Morris and Corrupted Mii/Austin Sanders (Wii Deleted You)

Genie (Disney's Aladdin)

Mrs Piggy and Swedish Chef (Muppets)

Mao Mao, Badgerclops, Shin Mao and Eugene (Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart)

Funella and Furgus (Furchester Hotel)

Majin Sonic (VS Sonic.EXE)

Clarabelle Cow, Horace Horsecollar, Oswald The Lucky Rabbit and Ortensia the Cat (Disney)

Tom Wachowski and Maddie Wachowski (Sonic Movie)

Melman and Gloria (Madagascar)

Smee (Disney's Peter Pan)

Mona and Mike (Warioware)

Rarity, Princess Celestia and Thorax (My Little Pony)

[Siblings]🦋

Moomintroll, Snorkmaiden and Little My (Moomin)

Octavia and Loona (Helluva Boss)

Bluey Heeler, Bingo Heeler, Rusty and Mackenzie Border Collie (Bluey)

Slushi (Chikn Nuggit)

Marcy Wu/Darcy, Sprig Plantar and Polly Plantar (Amphibia)

Mabel Pines, Wendy Corduroy and Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)

Meggy Spletzer, Tari and Melony (SMG4)

Meilin Lee, Miriam Mendelsohn, Priya Mangal and Abby Park (Turning Red)

Jenny Wakeman (My Life As A Teenage Robot)

Soft Boyfriend and Soft Mouse (Friday Night Funkin - Soft)

Streber (Spooky Month)

Rabbid Rosalina (Mario + Rabbids)

Tails (Sonic)

Giulia Marcovaldo (Luca)

Selever, Rasazy, Cassette Girl, Sunday, Rascal and Hex (Friday Night Funkin)

Nezuko Komado (Demon Slayer)

Shaggy Rogers and Madelyn Dinkley (Scooby Doo)

Darrell, Shannon, Raymond, Enid and KO (OK K.O)

Dee Dee (Dexter's Laboratory)

Edd/Double D (Ed Edd n Eddy)

Olivia (Oggy and The Cockroaches)

Hilda (Hilda)

Iris (Pokémon)

Patsy Smiles (Camp Lazlo)

Noisette (Pizza Tower)

Orbulon (Warioware)

Tiana and Charlotte La Bouff (Princess and The Frog)

Loona (Helluva Boss)

Emily, Odette, Clara and Nifty (Hazbin Hotel)

Wubbzy, Widget, Walden and Daizy (Wow! Wow! Wubbzy)

Luz Noceda, Willow Park, Vee, Collector, Eberwolf and Kikimora (Owl House)

N (Murder Drones)

Zooble (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Charles Calvin (Henry Stickmin)

DogDay, CraftyCorn, Hoppy Hopscotch, KickinChicken, CatNap and Boogie Bot (Poppy Playtime)

Molly McGee and Libby Stein-Torres (Ghost and Molly McGee)

Sniffles and Lammy (Happy Tree Friends)

Toaster (The Brave Little Toaster)

Elflin (Kirby)

Phoebe (Furchester Hotel)

Gordi (Unicorn Wars)

Tord and Tom (Eddsworld)

Tamara (Ellsworld)

Mags (Skylanders)

Squid Ink Cookie, Parfait Cookie and Custard Cookie III (Cookie Run - Kingdom)

Iris (Pokémon)

Lamb and Goat (Cult of the Lamb)

Berk (The Trap Door)

Pasadena O'Possum, Lani-Loli, Crash Bandicoot and Coco Bandicoot (Crash Bandicoot)

[Children]🍰

Child! Blitzø, Child! Stolas, Child! Octavia, Child! Fizzarolli, Oliver and Child! Moxxie (Helluva Boss)

Pom Pom, Lila, Muffin and Socks (Bluey)

Cyan Fitzgerald (Todd McFarlane's Spawn)

Penny Crygor, Kat, Ana, Ashley and 9-Volt (Warioware)

Hello Kitty, Mimmy White, Fifi, My Melody, My Sweet Piano and Julianna Scott (Sanrio)

Eri and Kota Izumi (My Hero Academia)

Maggie Simpson (The Simpsons)

Nugget (Super Meat Boy Forever)

Anya Forger (Spy X Family)

Bubbles (Powerpuff Girls)

Adorabat (Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart)

Skid, Pump and Robert (Spooky Month)

Hat Kid (A Hat In Time)

Sam (Trick R Treat)

Cream, Cheese, Orbot, Cubot, Sage and Charmy Bee (Sonic)

Kirby, Ribbon and Adeleine (Kirby)

SCP-053 and SCP-239 (SCP)

Baby Doll (Batman The Animated Series)

Cub (Happy Tree Friends)

Lazlo, Gretchen and Edward (Camp Lazlo)

X and Cake (Battle For BFB)

Lumas (Mario)

Baby Mario, Baby Luigi, Baby Peach, Bowser Jr, Boo and Luma (Mario)

Onion Cookie (Cookie Run: Kingdom)

Three Diablos (Puss In Boots: The Three Diablos)

QT (Friday Night Funkin)

Fink (O.K KO)

Pinocchio (Disney's Pinocchio - 1940s)

Egg Boiz (Hazbin Hotel)

Blanky (Brave Little Toaster)

Flips (Rayman The Animated Series)

Henry Hugglemonster (Henry Hugglemonster)

Sunflower (Plants Vs Zombies)

Gangle (The Amazing Digital Circus)

[Others]💜

Grandma White - grandmother and Grandpa White - grandfather (Sanrio)

Chris Heeler - grandmother, Trixie Heeler - aunt and Stripe Heeler - uncle (Bluey)

Gwendolyn Clawthorne - grandmother, Edric Blight - cousin and Emira Blight - cousin (Owl House)

Nanny Plum - grandmother and Wise Old Elf - grandfather (Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom)

Uncle Hairy - uncle (Humf)

Isabel - cousin (Furchester Hotel)

Samantha Coleman - cousin (Wii Deleted You)

Alice Green - grandmother (Big City Greens)

Alicia - grandmother (Pokémon - Rise of Darkrai)

Nina Cortex - niece (Crash Bandicoot)

Burt Curtis - cousin, Earrings - cousin and Dave Panpa - cousin (Henry Stickmin)

Dribble - uncle, Spitz - cousin and Dr Crygor - grandfather (Warioware)

Soft Pico - cousin (Friday Night Funkin - Soft)

Hop Pop Plantar - grandfather (Amphibia)

Iroh - uncle (Avatar - The Last Airbender)

Granny Smith - grandmother, Pharynx - uncle and Princess Luna - aunt (My Little Pony)

Leatherface/Bubba Sawyer - uncle (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

May Parker - aunt (Spectacular Spider Man)

Pet F/Os🐑🤍

Gidget, Daisy and Chloe (The Secret Life of Pets)

Fat Nuggets and Keekee (Hazbin Hotel)

King, Hooty, Flapjack and Clover (Owl House)

Thumper (Disney's Bambi)

SCP-999 and SCP-131 (SCP)

Artemis, Diana and Luna (Sailor Moon)

Zero (Nightmare Before Christmas)

Puss in Boots, Kitty Softpaws and Perrito (Puss in Boots)

Gary (SpongeBob)

Ringo (Eddsworld)

Pipsqueak (The Lorax)

Shirousa, Kurousa, Strawberryusa, Blueberryusa, Momousa, Vanilla, Aousa, Pandausa, Balletusa and Primausa (Sugarbunnies)

Pusheen (Pusheen The Cat)

Cheezborger and Chikn Nuggit (Chikn Nuggit)

505 (Villainous)

Gromit, Feathers McGraw and Hutch (Wallace and Gromit)

Jeffrey The Land Shark (It's Jeff)

Polterpup (Luigi's Mansion)

Jess (Postman Pat)

Garfield and Odie (Garfield)

Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private (Madagascar and Penguins of Madagascar)

Bond Forger (Spy X Family)

Courage and Le Quack (Courage The Cowardly Dog)

Hypno (Pokémon and Friday Night Funkin: Lullaby)

Pikachu, Pichu, Jigglypuff, Eevee, Sylveon, Darkrai, Piplup, Wynaut, Manaphy, Togepi, Togekiss, Pawmi, Mudkip, Torchic, Chikorita, Jirachi, Emolga, Axew, Cosmog, Mew, Celebi, Zorua, Minccino, Cinccino, Ralts, Azurill, Latios, Latias, Riolu, Lucario, Buneary, Dwebble, Altaria, Swablu, Quaxly, Espurr, Meowstic, Gengar, Misdreavus, Audino and Diancie (Pokémon)

Shinto (Friday Night Funkin: Lullaby)

Scooby Doo (Scooby Doo)

Chao and Yacker (Sonic)

Rilakkuma

Zippy (TUFF Puppy)

Pugsley (Dead End: Paranormal Park)

Jiji (Kiki's Delivery Service)

Mog and Owl (Meg and Mog)

Peep, Quack and Chirp (Peep and The Big Wide World)

Baby Rox, Jeepers, Sleepypaws, Shishi, Holga, Suey, Fifi, Capt Squirk, Tomba, Kissy, Roxy, Grinny, Gabby, Mr Snoodle, Scamp, Bingo, Misty, Blinky, Marsha, Priscilla, Gingersnap, Fernando, Scrumpy, Penny, Tingaling, Pip, Prof Purplex, Honey and Nodkins (Moshi Monsters)

Nine (Frankenstein's Cat)

Pr0ships, c0mships, bigots, z00, anti-self shippers, NSFW, necr0 and p#do DNI!!!

[pudgewizard]

Gay Pastries

This is a Fionna and Cake (2023) fanfiction that includes stuffing, burps and belly noises. If you don't like this, please don't read. Thank you, and for the rest of you, enjoy <3

Marshall Lee laid against the brick wall, guitar in hand. He looked down at his guitar case; only about a couple bucks in there so far. Lee hoped to make more, so he could afford a place away from his mom.

So he lifted up his guitar, held the curve with his knee, and began strumming.

Tumbleweeds and Rattlesnake-

Grrrrbrbllle!

Lee was immediately thrown off his groove by his belly.

"Buddy," he jiggled his portly stomach. "It's my turn to sing, okay?"

brrrbl..

He couldn't afford a decent lunch with the money he had at the moment. But he felt his stomach writhe in hunger, pangs approaching by the minute. Then he remembered; the bag of cookies Fionna had given him. His mouth watered thinking about how wonderful they tasted.

As his belly bellowed a deep, sorrowful grumble, it was decided. Marshall was getting more cookies.

-

"Welcome to Butler's Buttery Buns!" A cheery Gary Prince greeted. "How may I be of service today?"

Marshall Lee scanned the pastries behind the glass and, while looking good, didn't find the gingerbread men.

"Would you like some help finding something?" Gary asked.

Marshall blushed.

"N-no, no," Lee chuckled nervously. "I'm good! I was just..browsing..I should really get going-"

GRRRRBRBLLLE!..

Lee paused in his steps, frozen in his own cringe. His face flared up in temperature. He cringed even more as he heard the man behind the counter laugh gently.

"I.. I'm sorry. I'll leave you be-"

"No no! Don't go!" Gary rushed over. "That was just..cute is all. But golly, your tummy sounds ferocious."

Marshall looked at the man's face. His eyes sparkled like stars and he had the most adorable blush.

"So what were you looking for exactly?" Gary broke the silence.

"Oh! Um..I don't even know if you have them..my friend gave me these gingerbread men that had this delicious raspberry icing.."

"You thought they were delicious?!" Gary grinned.

Marshall backed up in surprise.

"Sorry." Gary chuckled. "I just…love baking those cookies. And it's great to hear feedback like that..very reassuring. Thanks.

"Wow. Um..you're welcome, I guess." Lee blushed.

"Unfortunately, we're out. In the meantime, I'm baking more in the oven. But I don't want you going anywhere on an empty belly."

"Oh please, um," Lee read Gary's name tag. "Gary! I appreciate it. But I don't have enough money to-"

"Friend. Baking is a passion of mine. I don't do it for the money. It's on the house."

-

Luckily, his boss went home for the night, so Gary wouldn't suffer repercussions for giving away free pastries. He flipped the sign to 'closed', and then led Marshall to the break room.

"So while we wait for the cookie men to finish baking, I want you to try some other pastries I made! This one's an eclair with cream cheese inside."

Rrrrr…

"Wow…" Marshall took the eclair and took a bite out of it. Cream cheese poured into his mouth. But the icing on top perfectly balanced it out. It made his taste buds open up.

"This is so amazing!" Marshall tried to say, but his mouth was full, so it came out as, 'Fis if fo amafim!'.

"Chew with your mouth closed, cutie." Gary chuckled as he blushed. Marshall blushed back. He turned his attention to finishing the eclair. He licked the icing and cream cheese off his fingers once he finished. Lee patted his stomach in satisfaction.

"Goodness!" Gary chuckled. "You finished that one quickly!"

"It was so good, Gary." Marshall laid back in his chair, rubbing his belly.

Gllllorp!

"Did you eat too fast?" Gary asked, worried.

"Nah.." Lee moaned slightly. "I'm still hungry, actually…"

"Oh.." Gary blushed. "Well, let me grab you some more treats I made!"

"How many do you have in there?"

"A lot… my boss doesn't let me sell my own treats.."

"That sucks balls. These pastries are like, the best I've had in a while. You deserve to share your art with the world!"

"I…." Gary sniffled. "Thank you..um.."

"Marshall Lee."

Brbebrbrble..

"And this is my belly." Lee patted his chubby middle. "I like to sing, but he also likes to chime in, uninvited."

"It's very nice to meet you two."

-

And so Gary kept bringing in pastries. From creme puffs, to crepes, to muffins, and so on. With every creamy or sweet treat, Marshall's belly grew pudgier. His belly gurgled no longer from hunger, but from satisfactory digestion. Gary looked upon Lee's belly with pleasure. It looked so soft and plump.

Ding!

"Ah! The gingerbread men are ready! I'll go icing them up!"

Gary left to the kitchen as Lee was left with his distended belly.

grrarrr..

"Aw, getting packed in there? I was just having fun.."

Lee began rubbing his stomach, but it just wasn't doing the job.

"Here they are!" Gary cheerfully came in with the cookies. "Oh my, you look positively stuffed, Lee."

"I know." Lee sighed. "But I want more…but my hands aren't helping calm my tummy down much.."

"Would you.." Gary began to blush. "Want me to help."

Marshall blushed back.

"Please. Of course."

Gary gently placed his hand on Marshall's belly. He could feel everything gurgling under his hand. It was so soft and warm, like a heated pillow. He began rubbing clockwise. Lee already felt better, yet flustered. His belly was throwing a tantrum in there, yet Gary didn't seem to mind. He just smiled warmly as he rubbed. So Marshall just laid back as he sighed in relief.

OOOUUUURP!

Marshall let out a humongous belch. Blushing, he covered his face.

"Excuse me.." Lee groaned.

"You're excused." Gary chuckled. "That's probably what had your tummy throwing a riot! You feel better?"

Marshall nodded as he sighed in relief.

"I think I…made enough room for those cookies.."

"Here, let me feed you. You've worked really hard today, Marshall Lee."

[lantur]

I don’t even know how I can describe the week I spent in Washington state with @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee and @annespelledwithane. Here are the memories that will stay with me:

Pike Place Market, the perfect introduction to Seattle, on a rainy Sunday evening, eating Beecher’s mac and cheese and enormous cookies while standing huddled under a storefront. A huge dinner that night at Din Tai Fung, one of my favorite restaurants.

Marveling at the glass art at Chihuly Garden and Glass, and watching a live glassblowing demonstration. Taking an underground tour of Seattle on a rainy afternoon, and learning a lot about the city, and warming up with a hot pot dinner after a day of being in the cold and rain.

Savory pastry breakfasts in the warm golden light of a bakery while it was gray and drizzling outside. Road tripping from Seattle to Port Angeles and entering Olympic National Park to do our first hike at Marymere Falls, and getting to sit on and walk along the shores of the enormous, beautiful Lake Crescent, eating bread and cheese.

Driving deep into the forest the next morning to hike at Sol Duc Falls, and then even further into the Hoh Rainforest, marveling at the Hall of Mosses. Walking along the Pacific Coast at Rialto Beach under the golden evening sunlight, when the sun finally came out from under the clouds. Sitting on the driftwood at the beach to eat farmer’s market persimmons and more bread and cheese.

We found the cutest diner in Port Angeles on our way back to Seattle, and loved the final drive past Lake Crescent while listening to TSwift. We explored the Main Street of Bainbridge Island and ate locally made chocolate truffles, and went to the Museum of Pop Culture. We went to Snoqualmie Falls, of Twin Peaks fame. On our final day of our trip, we hiked Rattlesnake Ledge, climbing a whole mountain. We saw so many sides of Washington State in our short time there, from the forests and rainforests to the mountain, the ocean, and the streets and underground of Seattle.

I loved our takeout dinners of pizza and Thai food and Chinese food eaten in our hotel rooms, the episodes of the X Files we watched, the music we listened to, the discussions we had. It was amazing and beautiful. I love the Pacific Northwest, and it’s been my dream to visit Olympic National Park for years now. I’m so glad I got to have this experience with my friends.

Waiting at the airport for my flight home now ♥️

[frozenhi-chews]

For the ask game... Starlo, question 1,2 and 9?

"Hello there! Saw that, yer one of 'er friends. Neat! Now how d' I- ah!

1. what's the weirdest petname s/i has ever called you? what's the weirdest petname you've ever called them?

"Pfff this is a good one! She's called me Rattlesnake before, 's a callback to when we were fightin'. An' she's called me Lemon Cookie. Cuz I look like one, her words. Do- do I look like a lemon cookie? I gotta know from others."

2. how easy is it for you to get them to laugh?

"Oh. SO easy! I make the mos' out-of-pocket thing and she doubles over with that big bright smile and that adorable scrunched up face. I don' even hav' t' try makin' her laugh. I'm just that silly, accordin' ta her!"

9. what's their beige flag?

"I had ta look this one up... she likes drinking pickle juice. Out of the jar. As someone who don't really like pickles, that's just even weirder. But it don't hurt anyone. So it's chill!"

[dailydoseofdragon]

Dragon Calendar and Request Log

Feel Free to Request anything or send in an ask! I’m always happy to talk =}

All non dragons are tagged treasure trove.

January - 31/31

Old Year 🐉

Birth Month 🐉

Zodiac 🐉

Rat 🐉

Ox 🐉

Tiger 🐉

Rabbit 🐉

Snake 🐉

Horse 🐉

Goat 🐉

Monkey 🐉

Rooster 🐉

Dog 🐉

Pig 🐉

Ballon Dragon 🐉

Abstract 🐉

Maleficent 🐉

Continuous Line 🐉

Wanted Poster🐉

Tuxedo 🐉

Hug🐉

Warmth 🐉

Story Book 🐉

Message 🐉

Library 🐉

Taxi 🐉

Lego🐉

Daisy 🐉

Rattlesnake 🐉

Long 🐉

Monarch Butterfly 🐉

February - 29/29

Birth Month 🐉

Zodiac 🐉

Skywing🐉

Nightwing 🐉

Sandwing 🐉

Mudwing🐉

Icewing 🐉

Rainwing🐉

Seawing🐉

Hivewing 🐉

Silkwing 🐉

Leafwing 🐉

Hybridwing 🐉

Valentines 🐉

Discount Chocolate 🐉

Snatch 🐉

Rose 🐉

Animation 🐉

Tug a War 🐉

Seal 🐉

Avatar the Last Airbender 🐉

Wood Puppet 🐉

Peach Blossom 🐉

Alone 🐉

Pencil 🐉

Crayon 🐉

Charizard 🐉

Animation Blue🐉

Leap Year!🐉

March (How to Train Your Dragon Month) - 31/31

Birth Month 🐉

Zodiac🐉

Toothless 🐉

Stormfly🐉

Hookfang 🐉

Barf and Belch 🐉

Meatlug 🐉

Timberjack 🐉

Whispering Death 🐉

Buffalord 🐉

Deathsong 🐉

Changewing 🐉

Hobgobbler 🐉

Skrill 🐉

Hotburple 🐉

Lycanwing 🐉

Saint Patrick’s / Clover (Request)🐉

Flightmare 🐉

Fireworm 🐉

Nightterror 🐉

Green/Red Death🐉

Razor Whip🐉

Scauldron🐉

Sea Shocker 🐉

Sentinel 🐉

Slither Wing 🐉

Speed Stinger 🐉

Terrible Terror 🐉

Triple Strike 🐉

Book Toothless🐉

Easter🐉

April

April Fools Day🐉

Birth Month🐉

Zodiac 🐉

404 Day 🐉

Dandelion 🐉

Rainbow 🐉

Spyro 🐉

Peeps 🐉

Unicorn 🐉

Siblings 🐉

Dragon on a String🐉

Atmosphere🐉

Spike My Little Pony 🐉

Pumpkin Roll (Animated) 🐉

Hiram McDaniels 🐉

Old Drawing + New One 🐉

Stuffie 🐉

Pinata 🐉

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 🐉

Look Alike Day🐉

Teacup (Request)🐉

Earth Day🐉

Slay a Dragon Day🐉

Scream (Animated) 🐉

Toothbrush (Request)🐉

Space🐉

10 Minutes 🐉

May

Birth Month

Zodiac

Hydra

Star Wars

-

-

Resident Evil

to 13 -

14. Lofi (Maybe Animated)

15. Cookie

16. -

17. Ender Dragon

18.

19.

20. Bee Dragon

21. To 27. -

28. Magic

29. To 31.

June (Pride)

Birth Month

Zodiac

Gay

Lesbian

Pansexual

Nonbinary

Bisexual

Asexual

Transexual

Aromantic

Genderfluid

Gender Queer

Demi Boy

Demi Girl

Polyamory

Pride Flag

Agender (Request)

Intersex (Request)

to 30. (Please send any more you would like!)

July (Disability Month)

Birth Month

Zodiac

Service Dog

Hard of Hearing (Request)

Terezi Homestuck (Request)

Oracle DC

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock ||| HTTYD (Request)

to 27. (Please send any you would like!)

28. Yang Xiao Long RWBY

29. To 31. -

August

Birth Month

Zodiac

Red (Animated)

Freddy Fazbear

Foxy

Chica

Bonnie

Golden Freddy

William Afton

Vanny

Dragon Fruit (Request)

Strawberry (Request)

Pineapple (Request)

Banana (Request)

Orange (Request)

Kiwi (Request)

Watermelon (Request)

Gold of Light RWBY

God of Dark RWBY

Wyvern RWBY

Sea Feilong RWBY

to 31. -

September

Birth Month

Jurassic Park

Zodiac

to 30. -

October (SPOOKY MONTH)

Birth Month

Zodiac

Pumpkin

Zombie

Skeleton

Vampire

Swampy

Sighting

Witch

Mothman

Cavern Merlin

Infected

Ghost

Doll

Scarecrow

Fire

Clown

Reaper

Mummy

Frankenstein’s Monster

Angel

Demon

Bat

Horns

Monochrome

Bone

Moon

Fog

Glow

Plant

Rat King

November

Birth Month

Day of the Dead

Zodiac

to 27. -

28. Thanksgiving

29. -

30. -

December

Birth Month

Zodiac

to 24. -

25. Christmas

26. Hanukkah

27. -

28. The Knight

29. Found

30. Battle 31. The New Year

[discothemechanic]

Phighting Ocs speices:

Fortune Cookie: Brown Husky

Ultrablast: Diamond back Rattlesnake

Discobike: Tiger shark

Lantern: Firefly

Freeze Cannon: Snow leapord

[thehyperrequiem]

Madeleine Cookie (Rango Parody) Cast

“A cookie (Yong Yea) who has lived as a sheltered family friend finds himself in the grip of an identity crisis. Madeleine Cookie wonders how to stand out when it is his nature to blend in. When he accidentally winds up in a frontier town called Dirt, he takes the first step on a transformational journey as the town's new sheriff. Though at first Madeleine Cookie only role-plays, a series of thrilling situations and outrageous encounters forces him to become a real hero.”

Madeleine Cookie (Cookie Run) as Rango

White Strabby (Bugsnax) as Mr. Timms

Espresso Cookie (Cookie Run) as Beans

Lilli Zanatto (Psychonauts) as Priscilla

Truman Zanatto (Psychonauts) as Himself/Priscilla’s Father

Elder Custard Cookie (Cookie Run) as Tortoise John

Gummigoo (TADC) as Bad Bill

Max and Chad (TADC) and Bowser (Mario) as Bad Bill’s Henchmen

Schwarzwalder (Cookie Run) as Rattlesnake Jake

Quint, Ballade, Enker and Punk (Megaman) as The Mariachi Owls

Ginseng Cookie (Cookie Run) as Roadkill

Thunder Mcqueen (Jjba) as Mr. Merrimack

Prophet Cookie (Cookie Run) as Spoons

Narancia (Jjba) as Waffles

Speedwagon (Jjba) as Ambrose

Moe (The Simpsons) as Buford

Wildberry Cookie (Cookie Run) as Eligin

Wambus Troubleham (Bugsnax) as Mr. Snuggles

Ford Cruller (Psychonauts) as Willie

Otto Mentallis (Psychonauts) as Dr. Rabbit

Johnny Joestar and Gyro Zeppeli (Jjba) as Themselves/Rango’s Posse’s Friends

Emporio (Jjba) as Cletus

Marble Bread Cookie (Cookie Run) as Mr. Black

Muhammad Avdol (Jjba) as Wounded Bird

Financier Cookie (Cookie Run) as Angelique

Moreau Oleander (Psychonauts) as Sergeant Turley

Fake Peppino (Pizza Tower) as Balthazar

Peppino Clones (Pizza Tower) as Balthazar's Family

Henry Stickmin (Henry Stickmin) as Gordy

Licorice Cookie and Poison Mushroom Cookie (Cookie Run) as Ezekiel and Jedidiah

Duo (Megaman) as Spirit of the West

Various Characters as The Citizens of Dirt

Wormsworth (Balan Wonderworld) as The Hawk

[envysparkler]

I posted 165 times in 2022

145 posts created (88%)

20 posts reblogged (12%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@envysparkler

@upswings

@thisiswhereikeepdcthings

@mylittleredgirl

I tagged 164 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#envy answers - 118 posts

#whumptober2022 - 37 posts

#fic ideas - 23 posts

#compliment - 12 posts

#batfam - 10 posts

#my snippets - 9 posts

#faqs - 4 posts

#kidnapping - 4 posts

#greenie - 4 posts

#jason&bruce - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 94 characters

#i'm saying i would totally fight a guy dressed as a bat if it would get me my doctorate faster

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I need the fic where Batman responds to the Red Hood exactly like a parent with a rebellious teenager.  he looms out of the shadows to admonish Hood for stealing Black Mask’s kryptonite.  he confiscates the rocket launcher.  he grounds Jason for releasing the Joker.

the GCPD, watching the most notorious crime lord in the city get scolded by Batman: what is even happening Hood: YOU’RE NOT MY REAL FATHER Batman: the paperwork disagrees.  also, you blow up one more warehouse and no more Alfred cookies. Hood, whining: but I had to blow it up, it was full of drugs!  and drug dealers!  mainly the drug dealers. Batman, shaking Hood like an errant kitten: murder bad.

172 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#4

okay, imagine everyone gets the Robins mixed up.  look, it’s hard, their color themes are all too similar, two of them have ‘red’ in their name and two of them have ‘robin’ in their name, and apparently one of them was a girl, and honestly this is too much background reading to be a goon.  and it doesn’t really matter if you get their names mixed up, because it will inevitably end with you beaten unconscious and ziptied to a telephone pole.  can’t keep things straight with a concussion anyway.

so, fic where a random group of thugs decides to kidnap a Robin and sell them off to their nemesis.  only they get the Robins wrong.  every time.

Hood squints up at Deathstroke.  Deathstroke stares down at him.  “in which universe does this look like Nightwing to you?”  “he’s got wings on his chest!”  “that’s a bat, you moron.”  “oh, uh--wait, where are you going?”  “you managed to snag the one Bat that’s not opposed to killing, and I’m not going to sit around here and wait while he blows this warehouse up.”  “but we searched him--urk!”  the warehouse explodes when Deathstroke is two blocks away.

Red Robin groans and pulls himself off the floor of the warehouse.  Black Mask makes a hissed growl.  “you got the wrong Red, you utter moron!”  “s-sorry, but you said--”  “I gave you a very clear description!  I said red helmet!  does this idiot look like he has a red helmet to you?”  Red Robin yawns, politely covering his mouth.  none of the goons notice that his hands are free.  “what am I supposed to do with this skinny-ass creativity-challenged kid, huh?”  snick of a bo staff extending.  “oh,” Red Robin smiles, “I have a few ideas.”  screams.

Spoiler stares unblinking.  Ra’s al Ghul stares back, also unblinking.  the cave glitters with green light.  there is a marble chessboard between them.  “would you like a game?”  “sure, sounds like fun!”  both of them ignore the screams of the hapless goons in the background.

Robin snarls like a vengeful rattlesnake, trussed up with a giant bow on his head.  Cluemaster fights the urge to break something.  “I’m sorry, but which one of you idiots identified this kid as my daughter?”  “I--we--um--”  “he’s the wrong age, gender, race--”  “we didn’t want to assume!”  “aw, how progressive of you!”  everyone looks up.  Nightwing is perched there, smiling.  Batman is perched there, not smiling.  “oh shit--”

Deathstroke stares upward, as though searching for patience.  “you called me here, wasting my considerably expensive time, to tell me that you have Robin.”  “yessir.”  “why do you think I give a flying fuck about Robin?”  “you--you hate the Teen Titans, right?”  “that was ten years ago--you know what, fuck it, fine, show me the kid.”  the goons haul in Nightwing.  Deathstroke stares, and then smiles.  “well, what do you know, you idiots finally managed to get your Robins right.”  the goons perk up.  “so you’ll buy him?”  Deathstroke unsheathes his sword.

“oh, I didn’t say that.”

340 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#3

Bruce isn’t the one with a crippling desire to adopt any black-haired child thrust in front of him.  no, that’s one hundred percent his children’s fault.

(or, elder batkid holding younger soon-to-be batkid like simba in lion king: “adopt him, or I will.”)

Nightwing finds Jason stealing the Batmobile’s tires.  he’s amused.  he finds out that Jason doesn’t have a family and he makes the puppy dog eyes at Batman, the ones he knows Bruce can’t resist.  Batman tries to stay strong.  Nightwing uses his secret weapon and informs Bruce that if he doesn’t take Jason in, Dick will.  Bruce folds like a bad hand (he can’t have grandchildren at this young) and tries to console himself that it’s just this once.

(we all know that’s a lie.)

Red Hood does his whole showdown at the Tower.  in the process of insults being bandied about, he finds out that Tim has not yet been adopted by Bruce.  Jason is affronted.  outraged, even.  this whole showdown loses half the emotional punch if Tim hasn’t been adopted.  Jason didn’t come here to beat up some random kid wearing Robin colors!  Batman is extremely surprised to see Gotham’s latest crime lord appear in front of him with a growled ultimatum and a bruised Robin dangling from his grip like a scruffed kitten.  Batman doesn’t know why Hood’s threatening to adopt Robin, but of course he can’t let his son Tim be kidnapped.  it’s only when he’s filing the papers that he realizes why it sounded so familiar, and Jason is trying to reschedule his showdown with Robin when he’s attacked by a weepy Batman.

(Bruce is starting to wonder about his children and their propensity for adoption.)

Tim gets attacked in the Cave by a ninja with a sword.  a very small ninja who proclaims himself the Son of the Bat.  Tim is beyond excited, this is his chance to adopt someone into the family.  Tim presents Bruce with a hogtied Damian and chirps the line at him, beaming.  Bruce blinks at him.  (“Tim, you’re bleeding.”  “tis but a flesh wound.”  *muffled shouting*  “oh, apparently it’s poisoned, but I feel fine.”  “TIM--”)  Damian is none too pleased by Tim’s claim--“I have no need of your ridiculous threats, I am Father’s rightful heir!”--but is secretly happy to be assured of a place in this strange tradition.

(“No, stop laughing Clark, this is a real problem, Damian tried to get me to adopt Jon the other day--I said stop laughing--”)

360 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

#2

okay so one of those ‘take a canon scene and see how it works in fanon batfam’ ideas.  in this case, the Batman v Red Hood fight, you know the one, yes that one where Bruce beats the everloving shit out of a Jason that’s not fighting back.

how do you make this work in batfam, you ask?  well 😈.

Jason needs connections in the underworld for some case.  problem is, Hood’s been an antihero for a good long while now, and most people consider him a Bat.  Jason’s solution is simple--stage a confrontation so public and so egregious that the entirety of Gotham knows he’s not a Bat anymore.

and whaddya know?  Batman’s the only Bat in Gotham at the moment.  Steph’s visiting Cass in Hong Kong, Tim’s in San Francisco, Damian’s spending the month in Bludhaven with Nightwing, it couldn’t be easier.  Jason just has to convince Bruce of this plan and they’re good to go!

(Jason does a whole monologue to try and convince Bruce, ending on the ultimatum, “if you don’t help me, I’ll find someone who will!”  Bruce panics.  he’d rather have Jason plot a fake confrontation with him than go fight-flirt with Black Mask.  one villain son-in-law is more than enough.)

it’s a whole production.  Jason writes scene directions.  there’s fake blood.  a dramatic monologue.  Batman tears the red bat off his chest.  the kind of shit that Gothamites would eat up.  by the end of this fight, no one in Gotham will think Red Hood is a Bat.

the plan goes off really, really well.

until it doesn’t.

what Jason maybe hasn’t considered is the vast plethora of people who love him, who would drop everything and come running to save him, and who’ve watched a bunch of footage of Batman beating the shit out of him.  while Jason is completely off grid and unable to answer any calls.

Jason returns to the Cave to update Bruce that he found the intel he was looking for, only to find him being held at swordpoint by Talia al Ghul while a furious and weepy Dick demands to know why he did it.  the rest of the family stand in silent judgment.

the Cave: *crickets* Bruce, pointing at Jason: it was his idea

408 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

on a more cracky note: Bruce getting possessed by something.  it details how it’s going to completely ruin his life, bit by bit, inch by inch, and no one will ever ever know because Bruce exclusively communicates in grunts anyway.

Bruce freaking out, trapped in the back of his head, forced to watch as the entity interacts with his family with no one seemingly the wiser.

in reality, everyone immediately cottoned onto the fact that Bruce is acting weird and they’re all exchanging theories and solutions in the background and Bruce is unpossessed by dinner.

Dick: it got the tone of your hns wrong, it was more of a space is the absolute worst I hate it hn when it should’ve been a this city stinks like garbage hn.

Jason: you didn’t look constipated when you saw me shoot someone.

Tim: you only double-checked the mission info six times.

Cass: moved weird.

Steph: you didn’t make that eyebrow crinkle when I cracked a joke like you’re trying to be stern but inside you’re laughing because we all know I’m hilarious.

Damian: as if I don’t regularly check you all for possession, tt.

Alfred: I know everything, Master Bruce.

1,692 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[affidecrystal]

Well I was going to edit Chapter 6 of Of Birds and Hounds tomorrow…but now I’m going to be busy baking my local Fire Department dozens and dozens of cookies in thanks for them removing our first ✨rattlesnake✨ from our front porch.

But there will be an update this weekend, for those of you who are reading!

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

Speckled rattlesnakes look like a warm sweater😭😭

They remind me of cookie dough ice cream!

[the-13th-rose]

Writing projects found here

Current writing projects:

Warring Evils - Villain crossover project. Currently 7 chapters. Mature rated for violence current and planned.

The Witch & the War Machine - Clone Wars fic. Currently 6 chapters. Teen rated for violence of a generally lower caliber thanks to the prevalence of laser weapons and inorganic enemies in-universe. Rivals-to-lovers story focusing on Grievous and Ventress, and featuring canon defiance.

If anything I write ever inspires you to create something, I absolutely want to see it [yes, even if you think it's not very good. We all start somewhere and regardless of quality I am pinning it to the fridge :)]

I don't have a dedicated DNI. Outright rudeness and bigotry is about the only thing I block over. Like if you come to me with that stuff or if I go to your blog and am immediately met with insults, suibaiting, and/or bigoted opinions.

The one biggest piece of writing advice I can offer: Accept that you cannot control your fans

Yeah that's me trying to hide the cringe under an extra layer so it's technically accessible but also not immediately there for assholes to point and laugh at.

Main f/os:

- Asajj Ventress and General Grievous/Qymaen jai Sheelal (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, legends and canon) [She/her and he/him respectively] {S/I - Iluma}

- The Beast (Over the Garden Wall) [He/him] {S/I - Helena}

- Biowulf (Generator Rex) [He/him] {S/I: Chimera}

- Demongo (Samurai Jack) [He/him] {S/I: Jade}

- Harry Warden/The Miner (My Bloody Valentine 1981) [He/him] {S/I: Canary}

- Kurogiri (My Hero Academia) [He/him] {S/I: Daydream}

- Licorice Cookie (Cookie Run) [He/him]

- Lord Shen (Kung Fu Panda 2) [He/him]

- NOS-4-A2 (Buzz Lightyear of Star Command) [He/him] {S/I: Carmilla}

- Ozzie (Helluva Boss) [He/him] (Fizz is not my rival, we are playing demon lord seducing co-op) {S/I: Thorny}

- Yorktown (Azur Lane) [She/her]

- Rattlesnake Jake (Rango) [He/him]

- Shockwave (Transformers Animated) [He/him] {S/I: Deadcell/ Hush}

- Zant (The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) [He/him]

- Rundas (Metroid Prime 3: Corruption) [He/him]

- Valtiel (Silent Hill 3) [He/him]

"Basically-An-OC" f/os:

- Christine (Helluva Boss succubus oc inspired by the titular antagonist of the Stephen King novel Christine and its film adaptation.) [She/her]

- Malus (heavily AU-ified take on the final boss of Shadow of the Colossus) [She/her]

Metamores ["We're dating the same person but not each other"]:

- Brooklyn (Gargoyles) [He/him] {Dating Biowulf}

- Fizzarolli (Helluva Boss) [He/him] {Dating Ozzie}

- The Horned King (Disney's The Black Cauldron) [He/him] {Dating The Beast}

- Samus Aran (Metroid series) [She/her] {Dating Rundas}

I have more minor ones that are just kinda casual interest, I might list them later or if asked

(I don't get jealous over shared f/os. If us sharing any f/os bothers you, please just block me or otherwise disengage.)

[malinastharlock]

Hang out with friends, meet interesting and new people with amazing personalities, eat cheese, make Mead, make hallucinogenic mead, try different drugs, expand your mind, eat a cookie, buy a cake that looks like your face then eat out the eyes of the cake and leavy it around your house to make people feel a little creeped out for shits and giggles, drink wine, learn to cook a smilk banger, study up on human history, go down a rabbit hole of inconsistencies and plot holes, discover a new creation theory that rattlesnakes your brain hole into Poopsberg, find a ham sandwich, chill by the pool, work, work, work, workworkqorkworkworkworkqork, work... Find a new look on Pinterest, eat some cheese, I mean the list is endless really. Your future is what you make it. 😘