#rationed doses

[thedisablednaturalist]

Last time I went through withdrawal I ended up in the hospital. I can't do it again. I've basically been forced to semi withdrawal every two weeks bc of how the refills are spaced. My legs get so restless I can't sleep. My brain is fuzzy and I can't think. After a couple days the vomiting and headaches start. I'm terrified. I need to work, how can I do that while being forced to go through hell. Yeah maybe I shouldn't be on constant opioids at 26, but can we at least get me off them safely? Can we pursue alternate methods? You're taking away my scuba gear and refusing to help me get back up to the surface. She told me this in one sentence: "I am referring you to the clinical pharmacy for dose optimization and tapering". The pharmacist didn't know anything about that referral. She gave me basic advice that will only work if my doctor agrees to give me more than 10 days to taper. Everyone in the reddit post I made is telling me to save my meds cause I am not getting more. Fuck she didn't even mention referring me to pain management like she's supposed to.

[likeabxrdinflight]

There is an ocean of difference between institutional/systemic poverty and situational poverty, and I never ever want to conflate the two. But I am gonna say it- situational poverty still sucks and the financial exploitation of graduate students needs to end. It should not be an expectation that you'll be living in functional poverty for several years to get an advanced degree. But it is. It absolutely is, ask anyone who's been through it- people treat it like some rite of passage. But no one ever seems to question it. We do so much work and receive so little compensation for it, if any at all, and especially with the economy being what it is right now? It's fucking criminal.

Graduate students should receive a stipend that covers the average cost of living in the area of their school and that should be the bare fucking minimum.

[dykebeckett]

maybe if I get high i will remember how to write

[macabrity]

okay so I think my antidepressants help a looooot with the mania but it is NOT doing anything to help with the sorrows.

[angelstrawbabie420]

feeling a little better today (got to take my meds)

[captainkingsley]

it's fine it's totally fine that I'm having this much trouble getting my t refilled it's fine

[floral-hex]

Two hours. I got two hours of sleep. I’m so frustrated with myself.

Went to the ER. Everyone was very nice. They gave me an IV bag of fluids (I was dehydrated! Sad cactus!) and a little ativan (teeny dose), which was nice at the time! Just a little amount, but the (mostly) quiet room, fluids, and meds managed to relax me a lot. Could have fallen asleep if the bed was actually comfortable. Then they packed me up, gave me another little Ativan to take home for tonight, and said they’d contact my primary. Cool cool. Got some much needed food on the way home, then took the pill and got comfy. Again, smallest dosage they make, so no feeling too good. Managed to muscle past my anxiety to fall asleep, and… 2 hours. Woke up. Tried to go back to sleep. Too frustrated and anxious and I feel like crap. What should I do? Just eat a whole gummy and hope that knocks me out? For me, that feels like playing roulette. Could work, yeah. Could make me sleepy and pliable. Could also backfire and make me feel sick and extra anxious for another 5 or 6 hours. What do I do? Roll back up to the ER? “Hewwo, I woke up and I need more benzos 👉👈🥺” haha funny, but I’ve seriously been thinking about it 😑

God, I’m miserable. Been sitting outside on the porch for a bit. Not quite an hour. Needed to get out of the apartment, but tbh, nearly 4am outside isn’t doing much for me. I just feel alone. It wouldn’t help with sleeping, per se, but just someone, I dunno, hugging or holding me for a few minutes would honestly save me a little. What a mess. Oh yeah, and apparently my kidneys are going 👎👎👎 down. Bad meat. Not great test results. Not what I’m focusing on tonight. I’m a mess. Anyway, this was my update. Sorry for all the walls of text. Suppose this is mainly for me to look back on in the future, but can’t pretend it’s not at least a little validating to put this all out into the world and knowing that maybe one or two people read this and I didn’t suffer completely without recognition. Yeah…

[gaypirate]

i would like to be medicated

i'm TIRED

[boilingheart]

that's it. im writing a suicide note on linkedin

[britneyshakespeare]

im just gonna tmi-medication share in the tags real quick

[nightmaretour]

My tramadol finally turned up!!!

[briny]

do you think drugs would fix me. not weed real ones. okay not real ones like semi real ones. you know what maybe i'll just eat a really hot pepper and go for a bike ride or something

[vampyroteuthid]

my meds showed up in the mail after i thought the office wouldn't give me any more refills because it's been well over a year since i've been there but here they are with some name i've never seen before as the prescriber and "3.6667" refills. ok 👍🏻

[risingsouls]

[You know it's a problem when, between Nabooru and Vegeta, Vegeta is the rational one in the argument.]

[moonfall666]

i ran out of my heart medication back in july because i was too scared to go to the doctor to get a new script but today is my lucky day because i just found 4 pills while cleaning my room 😎

[triggeringtommy]

hitting the dab pen to ignore the mental illness symptoms that r showing (^ω^)